#also i haven't decided yet -i'll see how things are looking after the weekend- but i might end preorders early so that i can

[shopwitchvamp]

So as gauche as it's gonna be, I'm gonna be back to posting & boosting preorders despite everything :[ Like especially because I have all these amazing guest artists who put their hard work into designing for this set & have entrusted me with their artwork.. I don't want to let them down by having the collection fall flat. I wish I'd chosen different timing for these preorders but unfortunately there wasn't realistically any other time that would work since we'll be moving early next year. I hope you'll all understand that I've gotta keep trying to push forward. Thanks as always for your support, everyone 🖤

[lcriedlastnight]

Y/n asks Oscar for help in order to get Lando to fall in love with her, but y/n breaks her heart in the process, realizing that she loved Oscar the entire time

ohh okay anon! your mind is literally brilliant. also i'm not sure if you wanted lando to break her heart or not but that's what i did, kinda!

tw: fem!reader, kinda arsehole lando again, oscar pines hee hee, lnk if you want me to add anything. ignore any mistakes can’t i cba proofreading rn!

w/c: 1.5k

"oscccc" you sing as you skip into the mclaren hospitality. the look on your face lets oscar know that he most definitely will not like whats coming next. oscar sings your name back to you in the same tone that makes you laugh at him.

"i need your help!" you ask sweetly, plopping yourself down next to oscar on the couch he was resting on. your feet come to rest in his lap as you give him your best puppy eyes.

"don't give me those eyes. you haven't even asked me yet." oscar says although he cannot hold back his own smile.

"i'm sure you know how much i like lando? alex says it's pretty obvious." you start, a little bit nervous now with your words. speaking of your words, it is like oscar is stabbed in the chest as you confirm your affections towards his teammate. what he would do to be lando right now, oscar is never usually envious but this is so much different. the australian had an inking of suspicion that you liked lando but he did not know for sure so he could gaslight himself into thinking that it was all in his head and that you were just really friendly with the tanned boy.

oscar's mouth feels like it is full of cotton as he wills his brain to generate a response that is not just oscar confessing his love for you.

"uh yeah, yeah i may have heard something about that."

you blush a little at oscar's words a little embarrassed about how many people know about this apparently obvious crush you had on lando. you clear your throat.

"right, well. you know lando quite well right? you surely do because you spend so much time with him. i was wondering if you could maybe put in a good word for me?" you practically beg oscar. the boy seriously thinks he is going to die from heartbreak. you were coming to him to ask him to put in a good word? him? who has been in love with you since you had first arrived in paddock. what kind of karma was thing? was oscar really that horrible in his past life?

oscar copies you and clears his throat too. "sure, i'll say to him after free practise." oscar offers. he so badly wants to be one of those people who will not let you have anyone else if he cannot have you, he wants to be that person so badly right now. but he is not. all he wants is to see you happy and if that was not with him, then he would just have to make do with that. the way you squeal in response to his offer makes him want to kill himself right there and then. okay maybe he was being a little dramatic but his mind was already thinking about having to watch you every race weekend, hanging off of lando's arm. oh god he would have to retire from f1 in his second year.

you skip away again as oscar is stuck in his mind. he has never felt this depressed in his entire life he thinks. like his thoughts summoned him, lando comes padding over. you could not be far then, oscar surmises.

"hey, man." lando greets as he sits where you were just sitting moments ago. oscar just decides to do it now and get it over and done with, waiting until after free practise might actually kill him off. he would rather just say to lando then he could get it out of his mind and concentrate on getting you out of his mind.

"hey, i've gotta ask you something." oscar says, his heart hammering in his chest. he has no idea why. a part of his is praying he rejects you, in a nice way, of course. then maybe he will not have to retire his promising racing career.

unbeknown to both mclaren drivers you were lingering around, listening in on their conversation.

lando cocks his head in questioning, silently telling oscar to continue and oscar does exactly that.

he utters your name. "she wanted me to put in a good word for her, if you know what i mean." oscar tries to make it lighthearted and not act like one single sentence shattered his heart into a thousand pieces and the only girl who held the glue to piece it back together was longing after a man who was near enough the complete opposite from him.

lando smirks. "oh yeah, i heard she has a thing for me." he says, cockily. a part of oscar fears for where this conversation is headed.

"and?"

"and what?" lando asks.

"and are you gonna ask her out or what?" oscar questions like it was obvious because to him it was. how could he not ask a girl like you out? although oscar was guilty of the same thing it was not for a lack of wanting from oscar, that much was true.

"nahh. she's not really..." lando trails off. oscar gets defensive as soon as the first word rolls off the brits tongue.

"not really what?" oscar's words bite like bullets.

"you know man, she's not really wag material." is all lando says.

your face drops even further from your listening spot. this was not the way you had seen this conversation going. you were almost certain lando had liked you back. seems like you were wrong.

while you cower and hide to nurse your broken heart, oscar seeths at lando.

"that is no way to speak about a girl, nevermind her." oscar defends you. "it honestly seems like you don know what you're missing out on because she is a lovely girl. even though there is no such thing as 'wag material' i know for a fact that she is that and much much more, you are just too blind to see it. some people are surface level pretty and pretty on the inside too."

lando's brows raise at oscar's rant about you. the brit seems surprised at his view on you. the kind words not unusual from oscar but he could hear the devotion and love behind them, anyone with a pair of working ears could hear how deep his fondness for you went.

"if you like her that much much then why don't you ask her out, man?" lando asks. oscar is not stupid he can hear the teasing tone in his voice but he chooses to ignore it as he sighs.

"i can't she likes you." oscar just barely gets the words out before you appear at oscar's side. your eyes are teary and that just confirms his worst fear. you had heard everything. everything lando had said about you, he hoped you knew that it was so far from the truth.

"you really think that about me?" oscar winces as he assumes the questions was aimed at the older of the two papaya boys but when he opens his eyes he sees your eyes are pinned on his. oh you were talking to him. he had forgotten that if you had heard what lando had said you had most likely heard what he had said too. it was not too special and nothing of a confession but the heaviness behind his words told you much more than his words ever could.

"yeah i do" it is false confidence oscar speaks with but he really wants you to know he meant every single word and he could not convince you of that if you was a stuttering mess. "i like you."

you just stare at him. somewhere in this lando had ended up leaving you both to have some privacy, he had that much decency.

"i think i like you too." you tell oscar, although your words are a little unsure, definitely not as sure as oscar's.

oscar scoffs. "you don't. and you don't need to say that because you feel bad."

you roll your eyes. "i'm not just saying it. i think i do really like you."

"no, you like lando. you only like me because i'm the only option you have." oscar frowns at his own words, saddened by the mere thought of you only wanting him because you cannot have lando.

you take the seat lando was sitting in, and you before him. you take his hands in yours and hold them gently.

"i think i wanted to make you jealous by asking you to put in a good word with lando for me?" you tell him. to oscar is seemed that you had not even made sense of your own feelings.

oscar finally nods as he sees the sincerity in your eyes.

"if you do really like me then i would love to take you out." oscar says, his words less sure than before and a little more shy. it makes you smile and that is when you are sure that you do like oscar. and yeah maybe you do still like lando but you are almost certain that it was just a harmless crush. this with oscar? you know this could very much be something real.

"i'd love that." you nod as oscar grins back at you, you have never seen oscar smile that much and you have known him for a while now.

[squishosaur]

i hear youre a treyjade enjoyer, do you have any headcanons with them or how they got together? :0

yeah ummm.... a few :lookingaway:

♡ - i'd like to think that jade has always looked up to and respected trey, but when he realized "oh, this guy is not as normal as he says he is" he is just infatuated and needs to study him. like a freak.

☆ - i think trey is someone who sees the best in people. like, he could be seeing the scary parts of jade, he just finds him silly and interesting though. riddle is distressed like, "you DO NOT want that guy." but trey is like "i could fix him" when jade is Actively trying to make him worse.

♡ - jade definitely fell first, but that doesn't mean trey didn't Also fall fast. trey was sort of interested in him, and jade instantly picked up on this and started toying with him. anything from offhanded comments about how nice he looks or how polite he is to just straight up "i heard you were interested in dentistry. can you look at my teeth" and then he does Not wait for an answer. trey is conflicted about this!!! floyd and azul are so disturbed at jade just opening his mouth like that in public.

☆ - trey has a horrible sense of humor. jade also has a horrible sense of humor and will laugh at any of his godawful jokes or puns. (have you seen the shrimp flied rice comic)

♡ - as for how they got together, trey would probably confide in cater about his crush (and he is Absolutely eating this up btw it's so funny to him) and he's like "oh dw trey-kun, i'll be your wingman kk??" and trey is like "oh my god no.." but it's too late.

☆ - with cater on the case, he is like. coaching him on what to say and what to do. "sit with him at lunch, compliment him, get to know him better, walk him back to his dorm, Ask Him Out OMG WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG..." and trey somehow fails at all of these things but this is amusing to jade. "your eyes are like... um. leucoprinus birnbaumii and. tilled soil?" "aw, are you flirting with me?"

♡ - azul also gets wind of this information also and is like "i can tell you any amount of information on jade's interests right now if you become the dessert chef for the mostro lounge exclusively- sign here." trey said no, but azul is still pushing. so now trey has like the shoulder angel and devil thing going on with azul and cater... but they're both devils.

♡ - in the meantime, they're Not Dating, but jade keeps asking trey to spend time with him. "i was just about to check on the mushrooms i've been growing, would you like to accompany me?" "if you aren't busy this weekend, i was wondering if you could join me on my next hike. it's just so lonely on the mountains by myself... camping would be so much more fun with friends..." trey says yes because his internal monologue is like "how could i possibly say no..." (riddle is shaking his head defeatedly, like, "just come back alive").

☆ - trey is about to just Give Up at the end of his third year, since they won't be on the same campus or anything anymore, but suddenly jade is like "can we exchange contact information, i think i'll miss you the most.." and so they do that. And are Not Dating Still.

♡ - during his off-campus year, trey studies dentistry and also spends a lot of time messaging jade and when they're both free they arrange meet-ups. cater is still trying to wingman over the phone and trey is like "no, we're still just talking..." and At The Same Time floyd keeps asking jade when he's gonna break up with that guy and jade is like "oh, but we haven't even started dating yet."

☆ - after trey is done with his studies at NRC, he decides to spend a year back at home with his family. as luck would have it, jade is spending his 4th year in the queendom of roses to study mycology (and a little bit of anthropology also, but mostly the mushrooms, molds, and yeast interests him). and he reasons "what better place to study yeast than a bakery!" trey feels absolutely insane when he asks his parents to let jade stay with them for a year. but they say yes because they as just so nice ("as long as he helps in the bakery" was also a condition).

♡ - they were not expecting a merman though and are quite shocked by the very tall eel with razors for teeth politely introducing himself one day. trey's siblings like him though! they ask him all about the ocean and his studies and nrc and even just about what trey was like at school (trey keeps shutting this specific topic down). jade helps with cooking and cleaning around the house and mr. and mrs. clover both appreciate him for it.

☆ - at some point, the two stay up really late together (they're both studying) and trey just finally blurts out that he likes him. jade just goes "i know." with a smile and asks him out. trey is shocked because he had waited Forever to ask it but its too late now. he laughs it off and says yes. they kiss (followed by jade quipping that it was not customary to kiss on the first date, to which trey responds that is was Hardly their first date and jade goes "touché")

♡ - you would think i would end this here because you asked about how they got together but i can't because i havs not gotten to the part where trey 1) actually comes out to his parents and 2) tells them that he's going out with jade

☆ - but anyways, yes, he comes out to his parents and they accept him for who he is. his mom also mentions that she assumed that he and jade were Already dating and he just wasn't ready to tell them yet. trey vehemently denies this and jade is just laughing. trey also texts cater and cater replies saying "tell jade i said i'm so happy for him and his ugly fking bf i'm serious /ref <3333" he also tells riddle who Actually says something positive. jade tells floyd and azul, who reply "can you divorce him yet" and "congrats! is he willing to work for me now" respectively (they really all are happy for them btw)

♡ - they do go on dates mostly outside on walks or hikes when they have time to spare. trey talks about the history of the area and jade identifies different organisms and infodumps about them as trey listens intently. if they see the same thing again, jade will say its name and trey will recall something jade said about it before, which makes jade happy.

☆ - neither is big on pda (unless they get jealous, which is infrequent), but they will hold hands when they're alone. they both tend to go more with acts of service and just quality time with one another, so generally they will do things like cook for the other or engage in activities that the other likes.

♡ - they do visit the coral sea, but it's more of an annual trip. usually, if jade wants to see azul or floyd, it's on land because azul's franchise is on land.

☆ - unfortunately i could continue for forever but i will not yw <333

[ddiidi]

Secrets and Danger

idol!Leeknow x fem!reader (ot8 mentioned)

Masterlist

Part 6 - PART 7(not proof read!) - Part 7.5

Synopsis: You had a quick talk with Minho and came to the, for you positive, result, that Minho reciprocates your feelings for him and decided to have a secret relationship. The next day, Minho decided to deny the rumors about your relationship and the internet calmed down. That was till you decide to meet someone you avoided long enough.....

!Warnings: non, fluff, slight angst, name calling (princess) (lmk if i missed anything)

You were woken up, by the sunshine, that leaked through the curtains, hitting your eye. You looked around the room, listening if anyone was at the dorm, but it was compeletly quiet so you suppose they all went to work. "They even have to work on weekends.." you mumble to yourself, while snatchig on of Minho's hoodies and walked down the stairs to the kitchen, just to find a well prepared breakfast with a sticknote >>Good morning princess, eat so you don't go home hungry today;) Your secret admirer (aka your fav man)"<< You can't help but giggle at the ridiculous cute note.

Y/n: (1 Attachment) Y/n: Well thank you "secret admirer";> Weird cat boy😼❤️: You're welcome i guess🙄eat up though. I'm sorry I wasn't able to say bye this morning, but I had to leave early. Y/n: Hey don't worry,I understand. Just take care of yourself and eat and drink enough. Weird cat boy😼❤️: Always, you too princess Y/n: Yurr Y/n: (1 Attachment) Y/n: I'll steal this hoddie since you coulnd't say bye to your girlfriend ;> Weird cat boy😼❤️: I hate the fact that you look cute in it. Y/n: I love you too

You giggled and turned you screen off to start eating, while thinkinh about how to spend your weekend. Minho and the other boys sure must be busy with practice and recording and Mila is at her Parent's house. So should you just rot in Minho's room for the weekend? Or should you visit her? Even if you doubt that it'll end well, you haven't been home since ages and ignored all her texts and calls. You sigh and wash up, before grabbing you things and walk to your apartment. You put on some noble clothes, which should be usual to you, but you just hate wearing it all the time, and call your driver.

It has been 20 minutes and you can already see the Mansion. The house, that you hate so much. You sigh to yourself, and wait till the car door was opened by a butler. You stepped out and entered the Mansion, being greeted by two maids, who's faces light up seeing you. "Young Lady! You're back!" you smile at their excitment but turn serious right after, "I want to see my Mother." "Um we're sorry but the Lady is busy right-" "I'll meet her anyway" with that you walk up the stairs, to her office. You took a deep breath and knocked on the door, before entering.

There she was, working on her table. Like always. You stepped in and she raises her head "Oho, look, look. Look who decided to come back after 2 years. What gives me the honor Y/n, my dear daughter?" she coldly says. No smile. No wave. Nothing. "I wanted to see if you're dead yet Mother, but seems like you're just working, as always." you sit on the couch, ringing the tea bell. Your Mother stood up and walked over to sit across from you "How caring my sweet doll. So how's uni? Are you also behaving good?"she asks, taking a sip of her tea. "Why would you ask me that if you already know it? You own this school, so quit asking me stupid questions." "Aw don't be so harsh. Who's gonna inherit my fashion chain and spread it even further around the world, if not you? After all, you are my only daughter. Your father is also very proud of you. So keep behaving well so that you can soon take over the chain yourself. Yes?" she says, in an obvious demanding tone. She wasn't asking, it was an order "Yes Mother, as you wish.." you mumble, taking another sip of your tea. It was quiet for some time, before you decide to speak up "I'll take my leave then-" "Your father and I, heared some interesting rumors Y/n." your mother says, serious, taking another sip of the tea. "And?" "Who's that boy, that visited you in MY university? Is that your secret boyfriend we don't know about?" fuck. How did they already find out? You mean yes, it may be her uni, but that fast? You stood up and walked over to the door, "He's, my friend. Don't bother him" you say and step out the room. You wanted to leave. As fast as possible.

At the drive back, you stare at your phone background (it being you, soonie, doongie, dori and minho) and fidget with the necklace Minho gifted you, it somehow calms you.

You stepped in the Skz dorm, carried yourself to Minho's room and fell face-first on his bed. You somehow manage to grab a random shirt off his chair, wich was way too big, and changed into it, wanting nothing more to curl up in his arms. You frown and put your phone on silence, cuddling into his bed, breathing in his scent. It didn't take long for you to fall asleep, feeling safe and sound, being surrounded by the smell and stuff of your favorite human ever. Still, in the back of your head you know, that now that your parents have a suspicion, your life won't be as peaceful as it was anymore. But that's a problem for another day.

[archaeren]

Hi Ren,

it's lavenderlight over from ao3!

I'm crossing my fingers that the infamous tumblr-ask-box-situation won't swallow my message! xD

I hope I'm not overstepping (and I don't expect a reply) but I just thought I'd check in - I know you've got discord but I don't think I have the spoons currently to make an account lol

So, good old tumblr it is :D

Anyway - I wanted to wish you happy holidays and let you know that I've been thinking of you (and your depiction of Chui ( 〃▽〃) ) and that LC:LS meant quite a lot to me over the past year - and continues to mean a lot to me.

Honestly, I keep thinking (constantly!!) about all of the chapters so far, imagining how the story might unfold in the future -

So, yeah. I hope you're doing alright and I'll look forward to any possible updates!! <3

Wishing you nice company, a warm blanket and a hot drink of your choice for the holidays!!

OMG hello!! You're not overstepping at all, this is so sweet aaaaa!! <3 <3 <3 I don't know how to say that it means a lot to me that the story matters to you so much. I look forward to your comments on every chapter SO MUCH, they're so thorough and thoughtful, every one of them is like a little gift. I'm so curious what other kinds of things you find yourself thinking about the chapters so far and the ones that have yet to come! It really does mean a lot to know someone else is thinking about it so much. It's a rarepair--the number of English language authors including the migikisa ship at all (let alone focusing on it) can be counted on one hand!--in a tiny fandom. (Someone recently asked me about how many longfics were in the Eng JJ fandom and I was able to rattle off all their titles and author names... because there are only three of them, and one of them is mine. XD) In such a niche pairing, it's easy to feel lonely, especially as one of the sole creators for it. You can't help but wonder sometimes if other people think you're weird or even annoying for being so invested. It can feel isolating. So for someone to say it means that much to them... it's really validating. <3 I got a bit sidetracked lately by doing fanart instead of writing, which is most of why I haven't updated recently. The art brain has a stranglehold on the writing brain! (I started writing again on Friday so I could update on Sunday and then on Saturday I was gripped by the drive to draw Chui as a character from Cult of the Lamb and that consumed my entire weekend... oops.) Actually, you're the one that inspired that art shift. It was that comment you left on Chapter 14, where you mentioned reading a quote that said, “People hate their own art because it looks like they made it. They think if they get better, it will stop looking like they made it. A better person made it. But there’s no level of skill beyond which you stop being you. You hate the most valuable thing about your art.” I thought about that a lot after you said it and it really changed my perspective on my own art. I draw more now than I have in years, and I usually even like what I draw! Even though I can still see its flaws and still see my own influence on it, I've really made a lot of peace with that. It's been really eye-opening and empowering. I really want to get an LC:LS update out today or tomorrow because we're finally hitting the winter performance and the timeline of coinciding with IRL Christmas is just too good. I wish I could post one today and one tomorrow for the timing but I'm not sure I'll have time to finish them both and I'm not sure people would have time to read them anyway! I will probably content myself with one. XD Anyway, if you ever do decide to make a discord I would love to talk more! You can also just lurk in the server that's linked on LC:LS, though I feel like you would be a great addition to the culture c: Thank you so much again for messaging and I hope you have a wonderful holiday (with a few moments to spare for thinking Chui thoughts! I know I will be, hehe <3 )

[purplesurveys]

1930

1.) What was the last strong scent you smelled? The essential oil I currently have for my reed diffuser.

2.) When was the last time you changed your outfit? This morning. I'll change before heading to bed, which I'll do after this. I really need to sleep; it's nearing 2 AM on a Monday.

3.) What did you buy the last time you went shopping for new clothes? Concert outfit for Seventeen back in January. I'm not a big clothes shopper.

4.) What is your favorite meal of the day? Dinner.

5.) Do you typically eat breakfast or skip it? Skip. Unless coffee counts, because I have that everyday.

6.) What was the last thing you took a picture of? A pissed off reaction selfie I took immediately after finishing Gyeongseong Creature 2 (credits weren't even done rolling yet hah).

I spent THE ENTIRE!!!!!!! evening watching it as I was desperate to see what would happen, but the whole season's pacing was so off and there was barely a payoff in the finale...so I took that selfie with the 5 AM blue sky as my background to let everyone know I put in That Much Time for a season that ended up sucking lol

7.) Do you have a collection of anything? BTS merch and bucket hats.

8.) What was the last thing you threw away? The can of coffee I finished.

9.) What is the cause of your current emotional state? The fact that I'm going back to work that I dread in less than 8 hours.

10.) What were the last plans you made? How about cancelled? Last plan I made was to resign, which I announced to my bosses last Tuesday. Last I cancelled was my initial plan to take the dogs to the vet earlier today, because when I checked their booklet it turned out I didn't need to take them til end of the month. I had no idea why I thought they were due today hahaha.

11.) How did you discover your favorite band? They were very huge when I was in Grade 3 and all the cool kids seemed to like them (Paramore).

12.) Does the weather affect your mood? If so, in what ways? Only if it's hot. I get cranky when it's hot and humid and there's no sign of aircon anywhere, and especially so if I haven't eaten.

13.) When are you most likely to be bored? Usually in the afternoon, from around 2-5 PM. Even at work, I get very restless during those hours because I want the day to be done with already.

14.) What was the last big decision you made? Resigning for good. There's a part of me that still thinks it was such a rash, impulsive, barely-thought-of decision to make...but September hit me like a 16 wheeler when it came to my mental health.

I really need to rest. But also, let's hope I find a new place to work in soon :)

15.) Where was the last place you traveled to, and what did you do while there? Vietnam! Saigon and Da Nang. I shopped more than I'd like to admit; walked, walked, and walked; simultaneously celebrated Jin's military discharge; drank a lot of coffee; discovered and fell in love with bánh tráng nướng (I still look for it...); took lots of photos.

16.) What is your favorite thing to go shopping for? Not much. I'm not a big shopper unless I'm traveling, in which case I like getting local knickknacks and snacks.

17.) How organized are you? I'd say a 7/10. I'm fairly organized, but I do have the tendency to lose track.

18.) What were the positives and negatives of your last week? Positives: I informally filed my resignation. I also...just survived.

Negative: I woke up every day of the week, save for the weekend, with a crushing weight on my chest.

19.) If applicable, how did you decide what you wanted to study in college/university? I liked to write and was good at it, and I've always enjoyed watching documentaries. It seemed like the obvious choice to make. I also came from a family of writers and lawyers, and I just wanted to continue the practice, albeit through an adjacent route.

20.) What was the last thing you received in the mail? Shopee orders but they were both for my sister lol.

21.) What is one of your wildest dreams or ambitions? Travel to the US alone.

22.) When was the last time you performed in front of a group of people? No clue. High school, maybe?

23.) Who was the last person to upset you? How about the last person to cheer you up? Upset would be someone related to my work. Cheer up...Namjoon.

24.) Is there anything or anyone you’re trying to get over or let go of? Yes. My current job.

25.) What was the subject of your last phone conversation? My grandma let me know she made me laing and asked me to come over to pick it up when I can. Apparently my mom asked her to make it...I'm guessing she did so because I recently shared with her my work troubles, and it's her way of helping me feel better. In any case, and whether my theory is right or wrong, the gesture is appreciated.

26.) What are your plans for tomorrow? How about the weekend? Tomorrow I need to work. I'm also working on the weekend. Both days.

27.) When was the last time you were sick? Sometime last month I threw up like 101% the contents of my stomach from food poisoning.

28.) How close do you have to be with someone before you’ll consider them a friend? If I feel comfortable approaching them first and share with them stupid stuff like memes.

29.) What did the last jacket you wore look like? Green and with the right sleeve decorated to look like the Philippine flag. It's a jacket I was given by one of the brands I handle; and we usually have to have it on during our more formal events like contract signings so that we can also be 'in-attire' and look the part as their PR reps.

30.) Name five things you can grab from where you’re sitting. Vape pen, Oatside coffee, phone, a BTS frame, highlighters.

[hotarutranslations]

~Sanctuary~ Is On Sale!

Evening

Morning Musume '23 Concert Tour Fall "Neverending Shine Show ~Seiki~" Fukumura Mizuki Graduation Special (YokoAri 2nd Day, Fukumura Mizuki's Graduation Performance)

Morning Musume '23 Concert Tour Fall "Neverending Shine Show" SPECIAL (YokoAri's 1st Day With OG Performances)

It went on sale on the 15th����🪽

Since its an opportunity, I'll use this photo from the day of!

I haven't checked the disc yet but,

Um! The 4 person medley dance!ハケ I wonder how it was divided! (I'm saying, watch it)←

I, Homare, Rairi, Oda, The autumn was really my favorite, where one by one more of us would dance🫶🏻

I've talked about this several times, right~~

Introducing the members, Its the part where each of us dances in order but🕺

By the time it was my turn to go out, I made eye contact with Mei who was next to me on stand by💚

When it was time to go down, I made eye contact with Rairi who was on the other side🤎

After the 6 person dance in unison is over, As I came down I planned to make eye contact with Yoko-chan💛

At once, while Fukumura-san was dancing at the top, when does choreography where she turns to the right (its left visually on the video), Fukumura-san makes eye contact with whoever was on that side, from below, there were Fuoooo from behind too it was exciting🩷

Its difficult to confirm that on video so lol I'll introduce it in a story

Since I've seen the video,

With the intro dance for "Toki wo Koe Sora wo Koe" with the timing of raising our hands, with the timing of lowering them slowly as well, Fukumura-san was amazingly aligned uwaa🩷💙 I thought things like that

At the end of "Itoshiku Kurushii no Yoru ni", Those 2 are shown but, But just before that its nice to see, Fukumura-san and Maria making eye contact☺️ and, it was so emotional

Thats right!

At a live a bit ago Akanechin talked about, Looking back at the Budoukan video from 2021,

Unintentionally! I also! A few days before! Watched it! Eh! I get it! I also watched that! I thought, I remembered I forgot to talk to Akanechin about that! lol

Also!!!!!!

Those that have already checked it out, thank you very much,

The live sound source was!

It seems you're able to stream? download? it!

As there is also a stream!

✍🏻Details here

Wellll, The medley is too amazing, with this, eh, This song and that song sung by the current members, Its an amazing era,

You can always listen to this soundtrack of the live performance, even when you can't watch the video☺️🫶🏻

Please definitely check it out

I talked about this in the previous story but, tomorrow is our current tours performance in Gunma🪽

I realized this is our last hall performance weekend……

Thank you very much for your support!

🪩We're performing at Nippon Budokan on May 27th (Mon)

It will be live broadcast on Hulu And we're showing it on Live Viewing

Its been decided we're holding this🫶🏻

Lets have fun together, whether we're at the venue or not at the same time🫶🏻

📺Hello Pro Dance Gakuen Season 11

April 18th 11:30PM~ A Learning From TSUKUSHI-san Adventure🕺

Sendai Broadcast "Ara Ara Kashiko" April 13th (Sat) at 10:25AM~ Ishida Ayumi Goes~!

I appear once a month as part of the AraKashi Family

The previous shows, and makings, are on OX VIDEO STORE!

Thank you for following.. Instagram💙🩵

💿

May 15th Release Morning Musume '23 Concert Tour Fall "Neverending Shine Show ~Seiki~" Fukumura Mizuki Graduation Special YokoAri's 2nd Day With Fukumura-san's Graduation Performance

May 15th Release Morning Musume '23 Concert Tour Fall "Neverending Shine Show" SPECIAL YokoAri's 1st Day With OG Performances

🪩Spring Tour Is Ongoing Morning Musume '24 Concert Tour Spring MOTTO MORNING MUSUME

⚾️《LIVE DAYS！～Exciting Big Exhibition Match～》 June 2nd(Sun), after the Hokkaido Ham Fighters vs. Yokohama DeNa Baystars match, Morning Musume '24 will be having a special mini live!

🪩Hello! Project Kenshuusei Happyoukai 2024 6gatsu "Lily"

June 9th (Sun) Osaka June 16th (Sun) Tokyo

🪩The MusiQuest 2024 July 21st (Sun) PiaArena MM

We're challenging a new festival stage❤️‍🔥 Absolutely, Definitely, Thank you for your support❤️‍🔥

🍉Sanrio Character Grand Prix Thank you very much for supporting Gaokki🍉

📻Morning Musume '24 Morning Jogakuin ~Houkago Meeting~

Airs Every Saturday, On Radio Nihon at 12:00AM~

Past Broadcast Episodes Are Available →Program Details

Yamazaki Mei's Panda-san Daisuki!! ~Expressing Love Towards My Favorite Panda-san♡ ver.~ in Adventure World

Yamazaki Mei's Panda-san Daisuki!! Mei-chan's Holiday. Adventure World with Oda-san and Ishida-san

see you ayumin <3 https://ameblo.jp/morningmusume-10ki/entry-12852584879.html

[namuneulbo]

week one hundred and thirteen

okay, trying a new format which will be proper grammar but all lowercase. i'll see how it goes and how i'll like it.

this week's been A LOT. yet very exciting. i moved to stockholm on thursday. had to wake up at 3 am but surprisingly ended up falling asleep quite late. the flights were not great, i felt quite anxious on both of them but i took melatonin for both and ended up sleeping for most of them.

i've of course also been listening to lots of kent. i feel like such a poser walking around town with kent in my ears even if no one can hear and no one would care.

one thing about stockholm is that it's very humbling walking around town because literally everyone's hot. it's insane. like, people are so fashionable and fancy and conventionally attractive while i feel like i barely match their level in a full face and my best outfit on a good hair day. truly so humbling.

on friday i met up with m for food and drinks. we struggled finding each other first because of the friday after work rush hour but once we got to the restaurant/pub thingy, it was very empty although it filled up over the time we were there. it was a burger place and it was really good although i got one of those humiliating cough fits at one point and never truly relaxed afterwards.

afterwards we went to an irish pub and, oh my god, it was so epic! i'm so happy to have someone to go to irish pubs with. i love drinking guinness and listening to celtic music. it was also nice because once we got there we really started becoming more natural with our conversation. i did feel quite sick on my way home though which was not the greatest because the bus home was delayed quite a bit so i just ended up walking home and lowkey died.

anyways, on tuesday, earlier in the week before i had moved, i had my last hangout with l for a while. we had subway and then they were my emotional support for asking my talking stage l on a date. it was so... okay, spoiler, i am going on a date with him but i still want to tell you about the interaction because it was a bit silly.

me and l (my bff l, not talking stage l) are sitting in the hallway of my old school and discussing what i should say and how i should send it and stuff. so i'm planning every single message out word for word in my notes app. once i've received approval from my friend, i open snapchat and stare at the conversation for a tiny bit before starting to type the messages out. i wanted to type them out rather than copy pasting so it would still feel a bit more real (for myself) in a way. literally started off with a single "btwwww" and his bitmoji shows up immediately and i literally yell and my friend starts yelling too because we didn't expect him to see the messages in real time. he replies a few quick silly messages just copying me but in swedish and then since i haven't typed out my second message yet he's going "TYPE". it was funny but it was so weird because it almost felt as if he knew it was happening right there and then.

i continue with like "you know how i'm moving soon" "to stockholm" "and i'll become a stockholmare" and he's like "yeah, you'll become swaggy" and then i just type out the entire question and i'm freaking out but i just go as quickly as possible over the keys so it'll be over:

"so i was wondering if you maybe wanted to go on a silly little date?"

i added the shy fingers emoji combo and like a looking down kinda sad/desparate i don't know emoji and he replies with like the emoji with a salute emoji and the same shy fingers and then a second message saying "hell yes" WHICH WAS SO RELIEVING OH MY GOD LIKE I DID THINK IT WOULD BE CRAZY IF HE DENIED AFTER HAVING TALKED FOR THIS LONG SO I WAS EXPECTING IT BUT LIKE HEARING IT AND IT BEING SO ENTHUSIASTIC WAS SO NICE!

we planned to go for drinks next weekend and now we've decided on friday and i'm literally shitting myself every moment ever right now. i'm so nervous. I'VE NEVER BEEN ON A DATE NOR HAD LIKE A THING WITH SOMEONE AND ACTUALLY MET UP NOR KISSED SOMEONE OR LIKE DONE ANYTHING! I'M GOING TO EMBARRASS MYSELF SO BAD!

hoping the drinks will help me out! love y'all! i'm gonna die!

sotw: kent - beskyddaren

[nimthirielrinon]

Dania's Tale: Author Update

I've finally started copying this fic into Scrivener, because as I mentioned earlier, I absolutely need to be able to keep track of enough things now that a normal word processor isn't enough.

Chapter 17 has been written, I've gone over it and tidied it up a bit, and I should be able to post it this coming weekend. I'll most likely have a fortnightly updating schedule for the next couple of months while I organise the Scrivener project (amazing bit of software, look into it if you're doing writing of any considerable size). I do also need to catch up a bit on my fic research (ie human playthrough) so that I have an order of events good to go. I haven't decided exactly where they'll go first after they've finished with Aemon and Redcliffe, but fortunately for me that's a few chapters away yet. Once I have an outline and maybe even some planned chapter titles in Scrivener, that should go a fair bit more smoothly.

Once the December holidays are done, I'm hoping to also have a bit more time and leisure to make chapter art. I'd like to have one for every chapter by the time it's finished, but we'll see how that goes.

So! Check back on the weekend for chapter 17! Sorry to keep you waiting, if you've been reading.

[priestessofspiders]

A Dream of Annihilation

I am sitting in my living room, sipping a glass of lemonade, reading the newspaper. It is a bright, sunny day. I can hear children playing outside in the street, they have set up a basketball hoop. The suburbs are pleasant, it is a weekend, so no cars disturb their play. Everything is calm and peaceful.

I glance up at the clock, before remembering it hasn't worked in years. I keep telling my wife I'm going to go downtown and get it repaired, but I never do. The hands point to 8:37, but I know it must be much later in the day than that. The face of the clock has a single crack down the middle, like a lightning bolt. I glance down at my watch instead. It reads 2:46.

I finish my lemonade and put the empty glass in the kitchen sink, rinsing it with some water. I look outside and hear the chirping of birds mix with the laughter of children. My wife is taking a nap in our bedroom, as is customary on weekend afternoons. I decide I will go and join her.

I move the glass to the dishwasher, but it's not full enough to turn on just yet. I'll leave it for later. I am about to turn away from the window and shuffle away to the bedroom, when suddenly there is a bright flash, brighter than anything I have ever seen in my entire life. In an instant I feel my skin become sunburned from the radiance, and I close my eyes instinctively. Bright points of light dance behind my closed eyelids.

I open my eyes to see a mushroom cloud blooming over the roofs of the houses, dwarfing the height of anything I'd ever seen up until that point. I know the shockwave is coming soon. I know that I have only seconds before I am nothing more than ashes. The end of my life, once a murky, indeterminate point in the future, has instantly been revealed, clarified in a single instant. Any action I take in the next few moments will be the last thing I ever do.

Do I run and wake my wife? Do I tell her I love her one last time? Or do I just let her sleep, let her enjoy her last moments in peace? There isn't long to choose, I have to make a decision soon, before it is too late. But I can't. I am paralyzed, frozen with indecision. I fear that my choice will be made for me, that my last moments will be spent standing before the window, too terrified to even move.

Everything is silent. Sound travels slower than light. Even though I've seen the explosion, I haven't heard it yet. The birds stopped chirping and the children stopped laughing the second the bomb went off. I wonder if they too know it is the end.

Just as I begin to move, to make a decision as to how I will spend the last seconds of my life, my ear drums burst from the loudest sound I have ever heard, will ever hear. Everything goes white.

- - -

I wake up from bed, crying out from fear. The walls are shaking, I can hear things falling from the walls. I don't know if I am truly awake or if I am still dreaming. Tears are streaming down my cheeks. I see my wife also sat up in bed, rubbing sleep from her bleary eyes while asking what is happening. I hold on to her as tight as I can, fearing for our lives. I told her that I wouldn't ever let her go, that I loved her more than the world, that no matter what, everything would be alright.

- - -

The earthquake wasn't nearly as bad as it seemed initially. Bigger than any I'd ever lived through, sure, but nothing terrible. A few things are damaged, glasses and other breakables mostly. The TV fell off the stand and shattered, but we still had the warranty, so it was no big deal. Frankly I am surprised that the quake had been as mild as it was, seismologists had been warning us for years that the next one would practically level the city, and here we were with the worst damage being some broken mugs. It is an absolute relief after the dream I'd had.

My wife and I take the day off from work from our respective jobs to spend time getting everything cleaned up, that way we wouldn't have to worry about it when we got back home in the evening. The cleaning isn't too difficult of a task, mainly it is just a matter of putting back up pictures, cleaning up shards of glass, that sort of thing.

Luckily we still have power on, so I pour my wife and I each a glass of cold lemonade from the pitcher I'd put in the refrigerator the night before. She smiles at me as I hand her the glass, and I smile back.

An hour later, we are sorting things that have fallen off the walls and shelves into three separate piles; broken, damaged, and undamaged. Anything broken is going to be sent off to the landfill. Damaged items we can either get repaired or try to donate. The undamaged items we can put back where they belong once we finish sorting everything.

As we sit, sorting the fallen items, I feel a warm sense of relief flow through me. The dream I'd had really shook me up quite a bit, but everything is alright now. It really is going to all be okay. I feel optimistic about my wife and I's long and happy future together.

I reach for the next item to examine, and my blood suddenly runs ice cold. The object I hold in my hand is a clock, one we usually keep on the mantelpiece. The glass is cracked from its fall to the floor, a jagged line in the vague shape of a lightning bolt. The clock is stopped, it seems that the mechanism is broken. The time reads 8:37.

[shippaidan]

no one says that they are afraid of love as beautifully as you do

>>chapter: five >>pairings: chuuya x fem!reader | dazai x fem!reader >>genre: angst >>status: ongoing >>words: 4,8k (that's a long one) >>cw: spoilers, she/her pronouns for reader, swearing, alcohol, mention of vomiting, mentions of death/suicide

previous chapter | series masterlist | next chapter

a/n okaay so since it's my birthday today, I decided to post new chapter yeehaw also I'm going out this weekend so I'll probably start posting requests on sunday/monday! sorry for the delay!

REGRET.

As expected, everything went exactly according to his plan. The freezing wall chilled his back, his hands were chained with thick shackles, and his spine was a little sore from being in the same position for a long time. It was not the most comfortable experience, that's for sure, but there had been worse. And besides, who was he to complain? He was just a kidnapped man.

After rather unpleasant confrontation with his former subordinate, he intensely analyzed the entire situation he found himself in and decided on the best possible steps he could take. However, the sound of footsteps snapped him out of his contemplations. Elegant shoes appeared in his line of sight, and the echo of the steps seemed to pound into his brain.

"Well well well, who do we have here? Plotting as usual?" That voice. That fucking voice. The familiar man stood in full view at the bottom of the stairs, at which Dazai rolled his eyes.

"Dammit,” he muttered.

"Dazai Osamu." Chuuya spat out with a hint of disgust in his voice. To be completely honest, he was definitely the last person Dazai wanted to see, but deep inside he was expecting this visit. He would never let such an opportunity pass him by.

"Oh, the same old Chuuya. How nice to see you here." Dazai sent him a bitter smile. "What brings you to my humble abode? Forgive the mess, I haven't had time to decorate yet."

"I only came to see you as a sad little prisoner. It is better than I could have expected." Chuuya walked closer to the cuffed man and glared at him with despising eyes. The amount of emotion that filled his body seemed to boil from his intense gaze. Rage, betrayal, hatred. A kaleidoscope of feelings shimmered in his irises as he slowly approached Dazai. Until they came face to face with each other.

"Did you miss me so much that you decided to visit me in my misery? Do you want to look into my eyes one last time before I am sentenced to death? How romantic." The wicked smile did not leave his face.

"Listen here, you may be able to fool Akutagawa, but not me." Chuuya walked even closer to Dazai and with a brutal motion grabbed his hair, clenching his fist tightly and pulling downward. With an intense and also a little bit sad gaze, he stared straight into the almost empty eyes of a former friend. "What kind of sick game are you playing now?"

"Playing? I've been captured and am awaiting execution as a traitor of Port-"

"Cut the crap. The Dazai I know would never get caught through bad luck or carelessness. If you were that stupid, I would have killed you long ago.” Chuuya clenched his fist even tighter in his hair. Holding back in this situation required inhuman amounts of patience and self-control, but he had no intention of losing his cool until he knew the real reason for Dazai's reappearance. The stakes were too high, and Dazai was far too dangerous as a player in this game.

"You overthink things too much, Chuuya. But you've always had a bad habit of doing that." Dazai sent him a sly smile, at which Chuuya scowled and let go of a fistful of hair. Every word coming out of his mouth made him nauseous. "I know you like the back of my hand, Chuu. After all, I wouldn't be such a good partner if I didn't know you, would I?"

"Fucking bullshit. Don’t change the subject." Chuuya grunted with annoyance.

"It’s honestly really nice to see that you haven't changed a thing. I bet you are still just a passive observer of your own life, accepting all the logs that fate throws at your feet? Am I right?"

"Oh, shut your mouth already and stop playing dumb. Why did you let yourself get caught? What are you looking for here?” Chuuya was slowly losing patience. Dazai's mere presence was getting on his nerves to the point that with the remaining strength he restrained himself from punching him. With every second of looking at his stupid smirk, memories of her face contorted from suffering ran through his mind. Her bitter tears, broken bottles and nights sat in the bathroom, holding her hair and stroking her back while she threw up the entire contents of her stomach. Chuuya hated Dazai for how much he made her suffer. He hated him with all his heart.

"The main reason is Atsushi."

"Atsushi?" The unfamiliar name caught Chuyua off guard. For a long time, something inside told him that maybe Dazai had come back for her after all. Maybe he had come back to shatter their little heaven they had carefully built over the past months. That would be something that would suit him perfectly. Thus, Dazai's answer both surprised and somewhat calmed him down. Now he got curious. „Who’s Atsushi?”

"That weretiger you're so obsessed with."

"Ah, that guy?” Chuuya waved his hand. "I'm not a part of this whole kidnapping thing. Akutagawa is in charge. I don't have any details."

"Then why were you so bothered by the fact that I'm here? Why else would I-" Suddenly, everything came together in Dazai's head. He laughed quietly, realizing the whole reason for his former partner's visit. His irritation, nervousness and suspicion. It all began to make sense. "Ah I can see what's going on here."

"What are you talking about, shithead?" Chuuya frowned. He definitely didn't like either Dazai's tone or expression painted on his face.

"It's not nice to play dumb like that when moments earlier you accused me of it." Dazai shook his head with mock disapproval. He sighed loudly and continued. "What a plot twist. The side character of his own life finally got the girl. That doesn't happen very often. You should be proud of yourself.”

"What the fuck are you-" Taken aback, Chuuya tried to interrupt him, but Dazai didn't seem to care.

"Don’t worry, I’m not here to take her away from you. I don’t want her. Although I am a little bit curious about how she would react if she saw me down here. I wonder if she would drop everything and run into my arms. What do you think?” He continued his vicious flood of taunting words, not quite sure why he reacted so violently. Why this thought affected him so much. Why imagining her at Chuuya's side felt so... wrong. So he threw out the worst words he could muster, though he wasn't sure if he wanted to fool himself with them or hurt someone in revenge. Maybe both. Maybe he wanted to hurt himself the most.

"Oi, shut up before you say too much. You don't even know what you're talking about." Chuuya felt such an uncontrollable surge of anger that he clenched his fists with all his might.

"It's a real shame that you only have her because I left."

"Last warning, Dazai. I swear to fucking god-"

"Why, am I wrong? Or does the truth hurt you that much?" The man's fury was like fuel for Dazai at that moment. „I’m really sorry I’m the one who have to break it to you, but she would never choose you, if I stayed. No one would.” Dazai's mocking laughter assaulted every cell in Chuuya's body. He saw red. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. He didn't even fully believe that Dazai would be capable of such a thing. To torment him with such cruel words. Was he really that heartless? „Tell me Chuuya, how does it feel to pick up trash after me?”

And that was the moment when Chuuya snapped. He couldn't bear a single word more from Dazai's mouth. They all bit into his brain and sowed the seeds of doubt with their sharp fangs. So he approached him without hesitation and punched him in the face as hard as he could. Finally, silence fell.

"Try to say one more fucking word, and you won't live to see your execution."

Dazai became more serious. Flames of hatred and betrayal seemed to burn in Chuuya's azure eyes. They stared at one another intensely, as if trying to read each other's thoughts, but neither of them dared to speak a word again. That is until, after a few short moments, the echo of footsteps on the stairs reached their ears.

"Chuuya, you' down here?" Oh no. Dazai opened his eyes wider in surprise. It was a turn of events he had not predicted. His heart started pounding like crazy. No, no, no. This was not how it was supposed to be. She wasn't supposed to come here.

"Yeah, I am." Chuuya replied, completely ignoring the cuffed man, and moved toward the stairs. As soon as her familiar silhouette stood right in front of him, Dazai lost all his previous confidence. For a moment, he even had the feeling, no, he sincerely hoped, that Chuuya's punch was strong enough to knock him unconscious, and that it was all just a hallucination. He was not ready to meet her face to face. However, the moment their gazes met, he no longer had any doubts. He would recognize that pair of wistful eyes anywhere. It was her. The real her.

This did not bode well.

A hot pain spread throughout his chest. She was exactly as stunning as he remembered her. Thousands of thoughts swirled in his head. He carefully watched her escaping gaze, just to avoid looking at him. Her slightly dejected figure. Her lowered tone of voice. As if she was trying to be invisible to him. But it's hard for her to be invisible when she was the one thing in Dazai's eyes worth looking at.

He didn't pay the slightest attention to the conversation between her and Chuuya, but he didn't even look away for a moment. What a torture. Her completely ignoring Dazai was the worst form of penalty. He would have preferred a thousand times more if she had been the one to inflict punishment on him for all the mistakes of the past. Every part of his body begged for her gaze, her attention, her anger. He had to take control of himself and this situation.

"Oh, what a wonderful reunion! Would you like to join our pleasant chat?" He spoke up with an overly sweet smile. She, however, only gave him a vague glance and turned to Chuuya again.

"Give me the keys. When you're done talking to that man, just come to the car." Oh.

"That man? You wound me, darling. Is that how you greet your beloved?" Yes, that's exactly how you should greet someone like me. I should be destroyed. Please, destroy me.

"Beloved? You've got to be kidding me." The note of anger in her voice pleased Dazai. A little more and he'll get what he wants. Please make me feel something again. Make me suffer. Make me bleed.

"Oh don't be like that. It's me, your Osamu. Stop pouting and give me a hug. To the good old days." Just a little bit more.

"I know what you're trying to do and you won't succeed. You won't provoke me." Dazai fell silent. The fake smile came off his face and was replaced by shock, which unfortunately he was unable to hide. She could see right through him, couldn't she?

"Come on, why would I want to provoke you?" He laughed, yet inside he was shrieking, begging for some kind of reaction from her. He prayed that she would scream at him, cry, punch him, make a ruckus and start an apocalypse. Or that she would at least raise her voice a little and give vent to her anger. That she would make it clear to him that he was no longer welcome in her life. Anything, just so he could finally move on.

Please, I beg you, tear me down. I deserved it.

"I won't do it." She said calmly, as if reading his mind. Maybe in fact, she could read his mind. After all, she knew him better than anyone else in this world. She stepped closer to him and gazed straight into his soul with disappointed eyes. "You won't get the closure, Dazai. You don't deserve it now. Are you even aware of what you've done? You left me when I was at my lowest. I lost Ango, I lost Oda and that same night I lost you, and it was your decision to leave me. You don’t get to move on. I just hope you are doing well in your new life and it was worth destroying me completely. I really fucking hope it was worth it."

And the worst part was that... it was not worth it. He was nauseous. Every word coming out of her lips was like a dagger thrust and twisted in his heart. Of course, he was aware of what he had done to her. He wasn't that much of an idiot. But hearing it out loud hurt a thousand times more than he might have thought. He could feel Chuuya's burning gaze of hatred on him, but he didn't care. He focused all his attention on her, like a sponge absorbing the piercing words.

Her voice did not tremble. But Dazai's heart did.

"I don't think I need to tell you where to find the stuff you came here for. I bet you figured it out yourself a long time ago. Just get out of my sight and never come back. I’m not going to let you destroy everything again." And so, the two headed for the stairs without turning back. Leaving Dazai all alone with his greatest enemy. Himself.

From that point on, getting the information he wanted did not require much time or effort from him. The most effort, against all appearances, was to return home. Or rather house. He closed the apartment door behind him and sighed quietly with stale air. It could use some ventilation, that's for sure. He kicked his shoes into a corner somewhere and with a heavy step entered the room.

"I'm home." He muttered to himself. He did every single time, even if there was not a single person to answer him. Not a single person waiting for him. However, he continued this small habit, as if there was still a sliver of hope hidden deep in his heart that one day he would hear the long awaited words. Welcome home.

Home. What a strange word. What was "home" anyway? Everyone certainly has their own definition of it. Was home just a place where a person stored their belongings, spent their free time, and slept under a roof at night? Or was home the smell of a warm dinner, quiet music playing on the radio and more than one pair of shoes by the doormat? What was this enigmatic "home"?

Well, according to Dazai, home was a place on earth. A place where he could return with peace of mind, knowing that he would always be welcomed back and accepted. A place where he could remove all masks from his face and fully be himself, without fear of rejection. A place where someone would be waiting for him, who would wrap him in gentleness and patience. A place where he could die every night and be born again along with the sunrise. A small heaven on earth.

Dazai did not have a home.

Or at least not anymore.

He began to wonder if she had a home these days. Did her snow-white walls still exude the icy cold of forsaken souls and sleepless nights? Did her bedroom still smell of empty promises and broken voices? Did the phantom of the life he left behind seep into the concrete of the walls and haunt her every night?

Or maybe now the frost of her life had been replaced by a soothing warmth she had never experienced before. Maybe her living room was decorated with beautiful flowers and floating memories in photographs where her smile outshone even the summer sun. Maybe the couch was draped with soft blankets and a pile of pillows where she rested at her leisure, watching her favorite movies. Maybe there was a warm dinner waiting for her and the gentle smile of another person. Two pairs of slippers, two mugs of morning coffee and two spoons in the sink, after a late night ice cream snack.

Maybe someone had given her the home that Dazai never could.

He hoped so.

He stood in the middle of the nearly empty room and, for the first time in a long time, looked around carefully. The dark apartment without an ounce of soul was a perfect reflection of him. Devoid of any beauty, it brought no comfort, no sense of security or reassurance. Only empty walls, a bed that hadn't been made in weeks, and clothes scattered on the floor that he didn't have the energy to put back in place. It was his own hell, which reminded him of his misery and solitude every single day.

Or was it not hell? Maybe it was just purgatory. A place where he could atone for his previous life. Even if he wasn't very religious, Dazai was sure, this must be some kind of punishment. Punishment for all the crimes and sins he had committed. For all the lives he had taken, for all the blood he had spilled, for every broken bone and heart ripped from the chest. For every trigger pulled. For every family he shattered. For the fact that he was born.

He sincerely believed that someone like him should never have been born. From an early age, he had been searching for the essence of life, but he couldn't find it in anyone or anything in his path. So he gravitated to people and environments where feelings and emotions were uncannily real. Where no one bothered to mask their worst sides. Where he could observe behavior, and perhaps that way he could learn how to be human.

His biggest mistake, however, was seeking the meaning of life in a place that ended it without hesitation. He hoped that in the raw emotions of the murderers, he would find the truth about what really makes a person human. And all he found was his own downfall.

However, in the midst of this chaos of death and doom, there was also her. In her hard shell hiding a beauty that Dazai was not worthy enough to see. Her cold hands covered in gold so delicately put his fragments together as if he were fragile porcelain. He probably never gave a hint of it, but her every word touched a depth of his soul he didn't even know he had. In her coldness, she was warm like oozing blood, dripping slowly onto the melting snow. She was a breath of fresh air after a midnight downpour. The first sip of morning coffee. She was beautiful. Beautiful in such an incomprehensible way that Dazai never saw anyone like her again.

On a daily basis, she was surrounded by an aura of composure and calm. A determined gaze always focused on the goal. Ready to do anything to achieve it. Confident, unstoppable, merciless. Yet she was at the same time the embodiment of comfort and understanding. She never judged. She made everyone at the bar laugh with her sense of humor, and her breakfasts were the best he had ever had. Existence with her by his side was a little more bearable.

Above all, however, she was too good for him. Too understanding, too patient, too caring. She didn't care for him the way a person would care for a small child. She didn't hover over him, she didn't pander to his every whim, she didn't flood him with a wave of affectionate words. Most of the time, in complete silence, she simply stayed by his side, absorbing together the frost of the morning and the frost of their hearts. And that was enough.

Oh how dare he hurt her like that?

However, Dazai knew that he was no good to her. He was only giving her a substitute for what she really needed. What she really deserved. Even if she was a ruthless mafia executive, ready to pull the trigger at any moment, taking lives exactly like him, without hesitation. She was something more. Or at least in Dazai's eyes.

He did not yet understand the concept of love back then. In fact, he probably still didn't fully understand it. However, at the time, these feelings overwhelmed him. He wasn't used to the racing heartbeat, the burning warmth in his chest and the indescribable attachment that pushed him to spend every possible moment by her side. He wasn't used to it and was terrified by it. He was terrified by the very sound of the cursed word. He was terrified by the dependence on another human being and the prospect that sooner or later he might lose her. How would he survive losing her after exposing his whole heart? He knew that the best way out was to end their relationship before it developed. Nevertheless, he selfishly allowed himself to bask in her presence a moment too long. Then unforgiving fate proved to him once again that everything he ever wanted would be taken away from him.

He realized that his leave from the mafia would bring much suffering. What he didn't expect, however, was that most of that suffering would fall on him. Perhaps it was for the best. After all, he was the evil of this world. An outcast, looking for his own place, yet never knowing how to fully fit in.

Oh what in the world had he done? Was it all really worth it? Was abandoning everything just to fulfill a dying friend's last wish actually his path? Or did he make an irreversible mistake? Regardless, there was no turning back. Nor a chance to make things right again.

He did not predict the consequences. Oh how painfully he did not predict the consequences of this rash fulfillment of a promise. The beginning was not so bad. He disappeared from the face of the earth, holed up in his own world and waited patiently for the smoke of confusion caused by his disappearance to slowly settle. Time, however, verified him. His life completely lost any leftover shine and color, and turned into a pure attempt to exist from day to day. Dazai stopped living. Dazai began to vegetate.

And what's the point in that? What's the point in fighting every morning, only to spend another day in solitude and go to bed with the same sense of hopelessness as the day before? What is the point? The thing is, there is no point. That's why in Dazai's life, death was not a terrifying vision of the unknown, it was like a beautiful salvation, saving him from the burden of life on earth. From the weight of regret, remorse and rejection. He clung to the concept of death like a drowning man grasping at a razor, as his last resort. There were days when he desired it more than anything else in the world. To end this never-ending string of failures and disappointments. To close his eyes once and for all and finally truly rest. From the world, from people, from suffering. From himself.

Oh what a pathetically weak man he was. All it took was a moment, one look in her direction and a few words flowing from between her lips to shake the foundation of the entire new life he had built from scratch. But how could he ignore the blistering pain in his heart and the weight in his throat, brutally falling into his stomach? He couldn't get rid of the memory of her fleeing gaze, just to avoid catching eye contact with him. Her defensive posture, as if his very presence was a threat to her and an agonizing pain. And maybe it was. It probably was.

He saw her in many different situations. He saw rage emanating from her eyes and ripping out of her throat, he saw sadness overwhelming her mind and he saw joy filling the room with sunshine. He saw it all. However, he had never seen her so defeated and retreating. Or at least he had never been the one she was pulling away from. The realization flashed through his mind that he would probably never see her sincere smile ever again. And that thought somehow hurt him particularly deeply.

He began to wonder how their lives would have turned out if he had stayed in the mafia instead. Would they still be inseparable, giving each other every bit of warmth they could ever muster? Maybe they would have been more than just souls suspended in the void, accompanying each other through the hardships of the world. Maybe they would have crossed that invisible barrier and become something more. Maybe they would have learned to love. Or maybe their paths would have drifted apart over time, leaving a bitter aftertaste of shattered hope in their mouths. What if they met now? If they had met when Dazai had already abandoned his merciless alter ego, would their story have turned out differently? Oh how Dazai longed at least for a moment to go back in time and shake the younger version of himself. To tell him to come to his senses, that it's not worth it. That he is irreversibly losing something from his life that will never happen again.

He cringed at the very memory of his cruel words that he sometimes threw in her direction. How he used to reject her without a second thought and throw her out of his life. How brutally he was able to break her spirit time and time again, only to return the next day as if nothing had ever happened. He continually left her in darkness, doubt and despair, making her look for a way back on her own, while he reached out to her without hesitation, whenever he got a little lost. He wasn't being fair. He knew it.

He only hoped that someday she would be able to forgive him. Because he will never be able to forgive himself.

Maybe that was the sign that he had actually changed. Living in the light gave him a different perspective on the world. And because of this, the mistakes he made in the past weighed on his shoulders more than he could carry. So he kept collapsing. Every single day. And there was no one left to pick him up.

Dazai was so painfully miserable.

And now he was alone. Completely alone. Despite his daily conversations with his colleagues at the agency, despite the morning calls from an impatient Kunikida who rushed him to work, despite the smile that graced his face every day, he was alone. Like a clown performing in a circus, his each and every day began to resemble a pathetic performance more than actual life. Pretending as if he had not been dying the night before.

So in the end, was it really worth it? Wasn't he supposed to be happy by doing the right thing? Why was he so wretched, even though he did everything Odasaku asked him to do, letting out that one final breath on his deathbed? Could it be possible that Odasaku was wrong? Is it selfish of Dazai to regret his decision at times? Is it really that selfish of him to want to return to where he was truly happy? Even if only a little? To that questions, and a thousand others, Dazai unfortunately did not know the answer.

Of one thing he was sure. The night that would prove to be his demise, the night he would finally place a delicate kiss on death's lips, he will whisper into the eternal immensity of the sky. He will whisper as if he is whispering in her ear one last time. Hoping that the moon will carry his voice and reach her soul.

I'm sorry I was too terrified to love you.

[onigiri-dorkk]

Goals + updates for 2023!

(plus sneak-talks into my future fics!)

ALRIGHT RIVAMIKA FRIENDS! This evening (now that I've finally come back from my short New Year's trip... as well as recovered from major car sickness on the way back home l o l), my birthday-week-and-writing-sabbatical (😂) officially begins!

If you've been following, I've been hustling since November with my IRL workload and it has taken time away from writing and fandom things, so I had planned that from January 1st for a whole entire week I will dedicate my time to rest in the form of writing. No work, no emails, no ads...

NOTHING except sitting in coffeeshops or beautiful places and writing stories from my heart again.

During the holidays I had a couple of technically free days, so I wanted to get a one-shot in to get myself ready and warm up for this week (and then produced last week's one-shot, The Perfect Brew, which might mark my all-time favorite one-shot I've written so far).

The hard part was deciding what the heck to focus on and commit to. I thought about keeping it free, but knew it would lead to more one-shots, which is fine too.

But after I came back home and rested, I sorted through my WIP's (which, at this point, I actually have 7! I just forgot about 4 of them omg) and I rediscovered a WIP in my Google Docs I loved and forgot about, and that is the orphanage fic.

I don't think I've shared much about it just yet, but it will be a multi-chapter fic set after Season 3, and both Historia's orphanage and castle will play a big role in the plot for Levi, Mikasa and the Scouts. Obviously I don't think I will complete the entire fic just in this week (sheesh... I can't even imagine?!) but I aim to make a good dent in it and hopefully publish something by my birthday weekend :) I believe this is the one I want to make the most progress in, and hopefully get something published from it, though I can't promise timely updates the way you got Microcosmos every week or two.

Also on the back burner that I might trudge through this week is the Ackerman (Kenny, Levi, Mikasa) short-fic, and a post-war reunion fic that will likely be a long-fic. Then deeeeeep in my backburner is also a post-war long-fic that will circle around Levi and Mikasa and gang as Paradis refugees; I foresee this as something that will be a lot darker and angstier.

I'm honestly just excited for starting 2023 dedicating passion-time to writing; it feels like me saying YES to dedicating this full year to growing as a writer. I only began writing in May so it's strange that I haven't even hit a full year of doing so... But knowing that 2023 is starting and ending with me in love with writing is just exciting. I'm PUMPED. I have other ideas (maybe starting a Rivamika-specific writers' accountability group, etc) but I'll save all of that for another time hehe.

All this to say, thank you to all of my fandom friends I've made here who have encouraged me and brought me soooo much joy and inspiration literally on the daily. You don't understand how much your presence here has helped me in my real daily life, and has sustained this newfound inspiration. It makes writing and creating art not feel like an echo-in-a-chamber. To have real people enjoying what we create together, encouraging each other in the process, and sharing their joys for it, it's just sooo important and meaningful. Thank you all!! I will continue to ~dedicate my heart~ to creating art in lots of forms for our lil community here. :)

Please look forward to another year of Onigiri's proud hyper-fixation on Rivamika ;)

(P.S. I can see my nighttimes being filled with reading all of y'alls fanfics that I haven't gotten to read yet!!! PLS!! I CANT WAIT!)

[rendevousz]

not a secret anymore

natasha romanoff x fem!teen!reader

summary: nat reveals a secret to the public when your class takes a learning journey to the tower.

requested: yes

warnings: might come off as half assed writing because this probably is one of my worst works i'm so sorry 😭😭

word count: 1681

notes: i'm so sorry i haven't been writing much, i've recently just gotten extremely busy so i had no time to sit down and write (this one was literally written between all the short breaks i had 😫) and i have a few requests piling up so i hope you guys can understand if they come later <3

"hi, y/n!" ally, an agent, greeted you as you, along with your classmates, walked through the east wing hallway of the tower. your classmates—except for peter, ned and mj— turned to look at you with confused looks.

your class was having a learning journey at the avengers tower and you had contemplated on calling in sick to avoid people who worked in the tower acknowledging you around your classmates.

you were actually an avenger—yeah, crazy—, having been rescued during one of the many avengers' hostage rescue missions few years ago. you were able to single-handedly take down a few of your captors, hence why the team took interest in you then.

now, though you had been trained enough, they decided to keep you a secret in order to protect you. lord knows how many people would try hurt you if they ever found out the avengers had a new, teenage recruit. peter was technically still safe as his alter-ego is masked so you had no choice but to only go on missions that weren't in the public eye.

you also lived in the tower so the agents and staff were undoubtedly familiar with you, some even friends with you, just like ally, who had just passed by with a wave of her hand at you before turning the corner.

"did that lady just acknowledge you?" an annoying voice spoke from beside you in a mocking tone. you gulped, not wanting to respond to flash's irrelevant question.

"hey, loser, i'm talking to you," he nudged your arm with his elbow and you held the urge to grab it and flip his whole body upside down. it's not like you couldn't—you had the skills, obviously— but it's the fact that you didn't want to get in trouble for that.

you ended up keeping quiet, like you always did whenever the boy taunted you. peter taught you to do just that. if it were up to you, flash's stupid face wouldn't even dare to show itself in front of you anymore.

speaking of peter, he was nowhere to be seen by now. you internally rolled your eyes. it had only been two minutes and they were already gone. peter was probably showing them around the place. you had no idea how your teacher didn't notice the three of them missing from your group. you were so going to kill them for ditching you and leaving you alone when they knew they were your only friends. they were also the reason why flash still had his head to this day because they'd stop you from doing anything rash. now you weren't sure if flash would be safe from your fury.

"you probably work here as a cleaner on the weekends or something, huh? that's the only way people here would know you," flash jeered. you let out a breath, trying to control your anger towards the boy.

you rolled your eyes, opting to deliberately ignore his insults and walk away instead, hoping you'll bump into those three idiots of friends of yours.

"did you just ignore me?" flash asked incredulously, as if it was a crime to ignore his annoying ass. he pulled you back by your back collar, effectively halting you in your spot.

by instinct, you grabbed his hand that was on your collar, twisting it and turning his whole body around, pinning him against the wall with his twisted arm pressed against his back. it happened in just two seconds which totally caught flash off guard, the boy groaning in pain as he begged you to let him free.

you could hear a series of gasps from all around you and you internally groaned. this is why you always ignored flash's taunting. you didn't want to attract attention to yourself and have people wonder how you could defend yourself so well. but flash just had to provoke you. especially here, out of all places.

"what's going on here?" you heard a familiar voice ask and you sighed.

"oh my gosh! it's the black widow!"

"miss romanoff!"

"oh my gosh, i'm gonna need to get a picture for my mum later, she's gonna freak out!"

you stepped away from flash, releasing him as he dramatically kept rubbing at his arm. as if you even put that much pressure. flash smirked, seeing this as a chance to complain about you to an official avenger.

"this girl right here," flash points an accusing finger at you with a glare, like he wasn't just practically begging for his life twenty seconds ago. "attacked me."

you rolled your eyes, unamused. "i hardly attacked him." you told nat. the woman turned to you, an eyebrow raised as she gave you a knowing look. "this...?" she trailed off and you nodded, knowing what she was insinuating. you'd told her about flash one too many times for her not to immediately figure out who he is from a crowd of students.

"flash thompson. heard a lot about you," she turned to the boy. flash's face lit up, thinking he must've made a name for himself or something that even the black widow knew him. little did he know he did, but not for good reasons.

"i would prefer if you stop messing with y/n/n." nat gave him a sharp look and that grin was immediately wiped off his face. "i– y/n/n?" he stuttered, confused that the natasha romanoff is calling you by a nickname.

"you do know she can kick your ass if she wanted to, right? she's been silent all this while because she didn't want to hurt you but you just never seem to learn, huh?" nat took slow, calculated steps towards him until she was towering over him.

"she doesn't need anyone to protect her because she's fully capable of that but i'm just here to warn you, kid, that she, is not to be meddled with. i'm saying this for your own good, flash thompson. she's capable of much worse than whatever she just did to you. so if i hear you messing around with her or any of her friends," she pauses before continuing with a whisper. "i'll close one eye on whatever she wants to do with you."

you wished you could've taken a picture of the dead scared look on flash's face; it was priceless. you turned to nat once she stepped away from him and she put an arm around your shoulder, leading you both away from the watching crowd.

"i–i'm sorry, miss romanoff," you could hear one of your teachers say and nat stopped, effectively stopping you too as she had you in her hold. "but miss y/l/n is on a learning journey with us and she'll miss the tour of the tower if she leaves with you. we'll be discussing a lot regarding this trip in class and she won't understand what we talk about if she misses this tour. i hope you understand." he spoke nervously.

"with all due respect, y/n's seen the whole tower already," she smiles at him but you could tell it was fake. "even the avengers' residential floors which are closed to the public and most employees of the tower."

your teacher looked at her wide-eyed, mouth open but nothing coming out. nat smiles a fake one once again. "now if you'll excuse us, the both of us have avenger duties to attend to."

gasps could be heard all around you and in the midst of it all, your best friends came back and you made eye contact with them, all of them having the same shocked look on their face.

"avenger duties?! nat, what are you doing?!" you whisper-yelled at the woman who seemed to be enjoying the reactions of your classmates and teachers.

"y/n!" peter ran over to you, your other friends following suit. "oh, um hi miss romanoff," he greets shyly. "thanks a lot, guys, look what happened." you spoke sarcastically, rolling your eyes at them. nat proceeded to drag you away from your friends and the last thing you saw was them mouthing apologies and you half-heartedly mouthing to them back that it was fine.

"relax, y/n/n, the public were about to find out soon anyways." nat said nonchalantly. "what?!" you exclaimed once you two were in a different hallway.

"yeah, you're gonna have press this weekend for this. we're gonna officially announce you to the world as an avenger." she once again says nonchalantly, as if this wasn't the first time you were hearing this. "wait, wait, wait, seriously?" you asked in disbelief. no one had told you anything.

"yeah, i—ohh yeah, you don't know yet," nat remembers and you give her an unimpressed look. she wasn't usually this dumb; she only showed this side of her to you. "sorry, i uh, yeah.. i was supposed to come get you for this. meeting with fury and the rest, yknow?" she tells you and you nodded slowly, taking in the information.

"but tell me it didn't feel good that you got to do that to flash," the woman states excitedly and you playfully rolled your eyes at her. "you got to do something. i'm practically an empty threat to him," you stated matter-of-factly.

"not after this weekend you're not. he'll be afraid of you after. that's what you get for being a smelly bully." you couldn't help the little smile on your face. she really sounded like a child right now and it was adorable.

"alright, natty, whatever you say. let's go before fury releases his fury." you look at her hopefully, waiting for her to laugh at your joke which she responded with an unimpressed look. that of course didn't work as you two burst out laughing looking at each other's faces.

you walked alongside her, the woman resting an arm around your shoulder. you smiled up at her as she talked about her day.

god, you couldn't wait to be able to finally walk out in public with these people you considered family.

taglist <3

@amourtentiaa @rqmanoff @abitofeverythinggg @andreasworlsboring101 @cay-writes-fan-fiction514 @teenwonder @sevenmorningstars @fleurlovesbucky @marauvdersfate

[purplesurveys]

1793

Yesterday

1) What was the weather like? Did it change your plans in any way? It was extremely sunny during the day which kind of sucked, because yesterday my family played host to a family reunion on the rooftop and the weather made things feel a little uncomfortable. In the afternoon, while the sun did hide for a bit it ended up being super humid anyway, so in either case it really just ended up being a super sweaty affair lol.

We addressed it by making sure our aircon in the living room was turned on the entire afternoon, so that anyone who starts to feel super hot or dizzy can choose to go down – which is why it ended up pissing me off when I caught a few people not even trying to hide their bitchings about how hot it was at our place and yet refused to go downstairs when I offered. Complaints are classic Filipino guest things but something I've never learned how to tolerate so I was pretty irritated from the get-go of that damn reunion.

2) What did you do yesterday, anyway? Helped my parents host said reunion, for the most part. I was so exhausted from all the walking and hosting and socializing all over the house so ngl I was knocked out from like 5 to 8, right after people left ha. When I woke up earlier this evening I spent a few hours playing a game on my phone and now I'm here winding down with a couple of surveys. Not a very eventful Saturday which is how I prefer my weekends to be.

3) Did you eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner? What did you have? I didn't have breakfast as usual. Lunch wasn't a full meal for me, I just got like 3 pieces of sushi from our reunion spread. I also didn't have dinner and just made a cup of coffee which is still right next to me.

4) Did you do some form of exercise? What? If going up and down the stairs 200 times counts as exercise then it would be that.

5) Who did you spend the most time with? My sister. Out of the huge crowd at home, we knew each other the best so we stuck together, lol.

6) What television shows or movies did you watch? I finished Gyeongseong Creature super early on in the morning (like, technically I was watching it from Friday then it bled into the midnight hours of Saturday haha), then I also played a couple episodes of Friends for the very few people who were in my age group in the reunion.

7) What time did you get up and go to bed? I got up at like 9. Went to sleep at 3 AM earlier.

8) What was the best bit about yesterday? I can't decide between watching Gyeongseong Creature and getting to eat sushi.

9) What about the worst? Being bombarded with work messages on a Saturday. My work! Makes me! Depressed!

10) Did you talk to anyone on the phone? Who? Why? My mom needed help ordering additional food for the reunion so she called me up while she was doing last few errands at the grocery so I can take care of it.

Today

1) What time did you get up? I just got up and it's currently nearly a half hour past 8.

2) What are your plans for today? I'll be taking my family to my favorite ramen place for lunch, then later in the afternoon I'll be seeing my close friends for our super late Christmas party.

3) Have you eaten any meals yet? What did you have? None yet. I don't mind not eating for a few more hours because I'll be eating a lot today lmao, so I'd rather save up the hunger so I can fully pig out for both lunch and dinner.

4) Are you planning on seeing your friends or boyfriend/girlfriend? Yup! I'm seeing Angela, Reena, and Hans later for dinner/Christmas party. I don't think we've been together since...August? In any case, we'll be at our fav Korean spot so I'm looking forward to it.

5) Does your favorite television show air today? Breaking Bad ended 11 years ago.

6) Have you spoken to your parents yet? Nopes.

7) How many texts have you received? I haven't gotten anything yet for today.

8) Are you planning on going to bed early? I never do on Sundays because I never look forward to Mondays.

9) Have you done anything remotely productive today? Nope. The full load of my day will start in like an hour when we head to our usual Sunday mass and after that I'm going to be traveling everywhere hahaha. BGC for ramen, then I might have to shop for clothes for my Seventeen concert next week, then head home so I can drive out for dinner with friends.

10) How much money did you spend so far? Are you planning on spending more later? None yet as it's only 8 but I am for sure going to be pulling out my card a few times today.

Tomorrow

1) What time do you have to get up tomorrow? Around 8.

2) What do you hope the weather will be like? Chilly but not too chilly. Cold weather feels so good that it makes me miserable when at work, because when the weather is comfy like that all I want to do is rest. So it'll be nice if it were cold, but I hope it's not too comfy!cold that all I'll think about is why I'm not in bed, lol.

3) Is there anything you’re dreading about tomorrow? The fact that I have work and that it's Monday.

4) Is there anything important you need to do, or can you just relax? Nope, can't relax.

5) Do you have plans to see your friends? No, I never have time to during weekdays.

6) What do you hope will happen tomorrow? I hope my schedule will be nice to me.

7) Are you going to wake up at home, or somewhere else? Just at home.

8) If you don’t have any plans, what do you think you’ll end up doing? I'll be working.

9) Do you have to get a work out in at some point? Nope.

10) Will you be working or studying at all? Yes.

[helloalycia]

my patient’s neighbour [five] // wanda maximoff

summary: Wanda decides to ruin your chance at moving on, which doesn't go down well with you.

warning/s: none

author's note: jealous!wanda is one of my favourite wanda’s 👀 also your comments/feedback always make my day so thank you so much! ♥️

part one | part two | part three | part four | part six | part seven | masterlist | wattpad

Meeting Anna's granddaughter wasn't something I'd ever imagined, since Anna rarely mentioned her unless it was to recall a memory that eventually made her quiet for the rest of the day or to make a snide remark out of annoyance. So, to have her here in front of us was definitely... new.

"What are you doing here?" Anna asked with disbelief.

Sasha blinked awkwardly. "I, er, got a call from the nurse. She said you'd hurt your back, so I thought I'd check in." Her gaze fell to Wanda and I. "I see you've got company."

"Sorry, we'll give you a moment," Wanda blurted, before looking to Anna reassuringly.

I did the same before eyeing Sasha suspiciously then following after Wanda into the hall. When the door closed behind us, I wondered what exactly would happen in there. To say I was overprotective of Anna was an understatement.

Taking a seat on the chairs outside her room, I became acutely aware of how stupid I looked in my trainers, Mickey Mouse pyjamas and raincoat. Especially when Wanda sat beside me, knee brushing mine.

"Do you want a drink or anything?" she asked suddenly, earning my attention.

I shook my head, crossing my arms and leaning back into my seat. "No, thank you, I'm good."

She hummed in acknowledgement but said nothing else. The awkwardness that lingered between us was overpowering, but nowhere near as overpowering as the scent of Wanda's shampoo that was drifting up my nose from how close she was sat to me. I tightened my crossed arms, trying to think of something else. Then I remembered what had happened in Anna's room before Sasha interrupted.

"What were you and Anna arguing about?" I asked, glancing at the witch.

She winced, but didn't look my way. "Nothing. Just neighbour stuff."

I smiled bitterly. So, she didn't want to share. Fine. No big deal. Who was I but her neighbour's carer anyway?

After ten minutes of waiting, we decided to head back inside to make sure Anna was okay. What we saw was Anna and Sasha crying happy tears as the latter sat at her bedside, clutching her hand.

"Damn, sorry," I apologised for Wanda and I, realising we'd interrupted a special moment. "We can–"

"No, we're done," Sasha said, wiping away her tears with embarrassment. "Sorry about that."

"Devushki (girls), this is my granddaughter, Sasha," Anna introduced, and I'd never seen her look happier.

As Sasha stood up and rounded the bed to approach us, I realised she seemed familiar because of the photographs I'd seen around Anna's apartment.

"It's nice to finally meet the two people who have been taking care of my grandmother," Sasha said, before putting out her hand.

I bit back from retorting with something along the lines of 'we wouldn't have to if you had cared for her yourself', and instead shook her hand. Wanda glanced at me, probably sensing the negative thoughts in my mind with her powers, but she said nothing as she smiled politely at Sasha and shook her hand.

"It's nice to meet you, too," Wanda spoke, realising I wouldn't. "Anna talks a lot about you. I was hoping we would eventually meet."

Sasha sighed regretfully, smile fading. "Yes... well, I haven't been around as much as I should have been. I know that now."

"Took you long enough," I muttered under my breath, it slipping out without me realising.

Wanda shoved me in the arm in response and I frowned, rubbing the sore spot.

"You're right," Sasha said, looking to me apologetically. "But I'm here now. And getting that call earlier... it made me realise that I've treated Anna horribly. That's why I've invited her to live with me. To make up for lost time."

Certainly not expecting that, my jaw dropped with surprise. "What?"

Sasha sat back down beside Anna's beside and I exchanged startled looks with Wanda before looking to the older woman in question.

"No offence," I started, glancing at Sasha, before focusing on Anna again, "but are you sure this is the right move? It's not too sudden?"

Anna shook her head and grabbed Sasha's hand. "She wants me to be around her family. And I want it too, Y/N. I miss them."

I nodded, but chewed on the inside of my mouth anxiously. It's not that I didn't trust Sasha (okay, maybe it was a little), but I was scared for Anna. I didn't want her to get heartbroken all over again.

Be supportive, Wanda's voice filled my mind, and I looked to her to see her eyes fading from red to green.

I clenched my jaw. Stay out of my head.

With a bright smile, she ignored me and looked between the grandmother and granddaughter duo.

"I think that's wonderful, Anna," she said kindly. "I mean, of course I'm going to miss having you as a neighbour, but this is all you've wanted. I'm thrilled for you. And so is Y/N."

When she looked to me for confirmation, I felt a familiar anger in the pit of my stomach, only reserved for Wanda Maximoff. But this wasn't about us, this was about Anna.

"I am," I agreed, eyes flickering to Anna. "It sounds great."

"You can both visit whenever you want," Sasha said, nodding enthusiastically. "Anna loves you both so dearly."

"You can't get rid of us even if you tried," Wanda joked, flashing Anna a teasing smile.

Anna chuckled. "I knew you would both understand."

I smiled halfheartedly, glad that everything was working out for Anna but knowing I would miss caring for her greatly.

"We should leave you to rest," I said with finality.

"Thank you," Anna replied, and by the way she looked at me, I knew she was thanking me for a lot more.

"Get well soon," I told her in my 'nurse' voice that she hated, a playful smile on my lips. "I'll check on you tomorrow."

Anna nodded. "Tomorrow."

After saying an awkward goodbye to Sasha, I left the room and headed for the lift down the hall, not bothering to wait for Wanda. Thankfully, she must have known I didn't want to speak to her, as she didn't speed after me.

—

Since Anna moved in with her granddaughter, the last time I saw Wanda was at the hospital. Two more months passed and I had no need to bump into her at Anna's apartment since Anna didn't live there anymore. And the one time I visited Anna since she moved in to Sasha's house, Wanda wasn't present.

I guess it made it a lot easier to attempt to get over her. Six months since she broke up with me was long enough to move on, I think. I'd been on a few dates, none really going anywhere until Natasha decided to set me up with someone a few weeks ago.

It was a family friend of her Avenger's teammate, Clint Barton, and though it was a blind date, it actually worked out well. The woman was called Elise and she was very sweet and charming on our first date, having a similar sense of humour to mine and a killer smile. It was actually the first time since Wanda left that things felt like they were falling into place. We went on a few more dates, deciding not to rush things, and I found myself looking forward to going out with her.

It was a few weeks into our dating relationship when Natasha gave me a call, inviting me as her plus-one to Clint and his wife's vow renewal. They were having a whole celebration at their homestead in Missouri and Natasha figured I'd enjoy it, able to take a weekend break and join her at the lavish hotel she'd be staying in. And also because Elise would be there.

"Oh?" I said with surprise. "Elise didn't mention anything."

"She wanted to," Natasha said with amusement, "but she didn't want to bring it up in case you didn't want to go."

I quirked a brow, despite her being unable to see me. "And why wouldn't I want to go?"

Natasha hesitated. "'Cause Wanda will be there...?"

A sigh escaped my lips as I massaged my forehead. Elise knew about Wanda because it came up when she asked how Natasha and I became friends. She was actually really chill about the whole thing, which I appreciated, but I could only imagine how she must have felt knowing that Wanda would be at the vow renewal.

"You should still come," Natasha encouraged when I didn't say anything. "I already spoke to Wanda and she said she won't cause a scene or anything."

"I doubt that she would," I mumbled.

"She just wants you to be happy," Natasha finished. "So, be happy as my plus-one and get a cute date in with your girlfriend whilst you're there."

I tried to stifle the smile on my lips. "Elise isn't my girlfriend."

"Yet," Natasha added knowingly.

Rolling my eyes, I said, "Look, send me the details and I'll be happy to be your plus-one."

"Yes!" she exclaimed, and I could just imagine her fist-pumping like an idiot. "I'll see you then, Y/N."

"Goodbye," I told her, though a smile of amusement was playing on my lips.

After that call with Natasha, I didn't hesitate to give Elise a call, hoping I wasn't bothering her whilst she was at work.

"Hello?"

"Hey," I greeted, smiling to myself. "Is this a bad time?"

"Well, luckily for you, I'm actually just starting my lunch break," she said in a joking manner. "What's up?"

I scratched my head uncertainly. "Well, Natasha just called and invited me as her plus-one to Clint's vow renewal. She said you would be there, too, obviously, but I just wanted to check in and see if it was okay that I went."

I left out the part about her not telling me about it, but she seemed to pick up on it anyway as she breathed out slowly.

"I just don't want to step on your toes," I quickly added, before chewing on my lip.

"You could never," she said reassuringly. "I actually wanted to ask you to be my date, but I thought it may be too soon. Y'know, a vow renewal when it's only what, the sixth date in?"

"It's not too soon," I said, before adding, "I can just come as Natasha's friend and we don't have to make it a date."

"There's also the fact that your ex will be there," Elise added, and I frowned at the mention of Wanda. "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

"It's been six months," I told her with certainty. "I'm as comfortable as can be."

She paused. "If you think you'll be okay, then I'd love to see you there, Y/N."

"I know I'll be okay," I said promisingly. "And I'd like to go and maybe see you, too."

She laughed quietly and it made me smile. "In that case, I guess I'll see you there."

"It'll be fun," I said knowingly.

"It will," she agreed. "And now I can't wait."

It was my turn laugh. "Me either."

And fun it was... along with many other words.

The day of the vow renewal came by quickly enough and as promised, I went with Natasha as her plus-one. She made it as enjoyable as she could for me which I appreciated, with the two of us getting first-class tickets which Natasha was happy to pay for, and checking in to a beautiful hotel for the weekend. And that was just the accommodation.

The actual vow renewal was a stunning affair, as Clint and his wife, Laura, had gone all out with decorating the homestead and it's fields in a traditional, romantic way. A flower arch stood front and centre, with rows of seats set out for guests. Bouquets lined the outside and lights were strung above and all around the trees which I could only imagine would look stunning once the sun set.

"They really went all out," Natasha said, impressed as she took in the scene before us.

I hummed in agreement. "It's beautiful." I glanced at her adding, "Bet you wish you brought an actual date now."

Natasha smirked knowingly. "What's to say this isn't one? This could all be a plan to steal you away from Elise."

"Because that makes sense," I played along with amusement. "The woman who set me up with her best friend's family friend is trying to steal me away from said family friend. Makes complete sense."

"True," she said with a shrug, walking forward. I followed her as she continued, "If I was trying to make a move, you wouldn't see it coming."

I tried not to laugh. "Sure, Natasha."

"Trained assassin, expert in espionage, master of lying and hiding in plain sight," she listed off her skills one by one on her fingers. Shooting me a knowing smile, she repeated, "You wouldn't see it coming."

I rolled my eyes playfully and the two of us made the rounds, myself reacquainting with the other Avengers whom I hadn't seen since, well, since Wanda and I were together. It was a little awkward, since I was never really close with them and vice versa, but they were polite and kind and made me feel comfortable (probably because of Natasha, which gave me yet another reason to be grateful to the redhead).

Eventually, it got to a point where Wanda was the next person to say hello to and I truly thought six months would be enough to get over her; oh, how sorely mistaken I was.

She was talking to Sam Wilson, the two talking about something or the other that was clearly entertaining enough to warrant a laugh from Wanda. As we approached them, the sound of her laugh taunted me, melodic and dancing around my ears like a terrible reminder of what I couldn't have.

They spotted Natasha and I soon enough, their conversation ceasing and Wanda's laughter silencing as her eyes met mine. I tried not to let her effect me, but it became increasingly different when I noticed how beautiful she looked today, wearing a maroon-coloured dress and wearing her brown-red hair down in curls. Of course, all of that didn't compliment the giant scar on her forehead.

"Y/N, it's so good to see you!" Sam exclaimed, trying to prevent an awkwardness from occurring. "How have you been?"

I smiled his way. "I'm good, Sam. You?"

We talked for a little while, catching up, before Natasha decided to drag Sam away for a stupid, fake reason that was clearly said on purpose. Knowing I couldn't exactly stop her, I let her get away with it, figuring I'd have to face Wanda at some point.

"You look good," she spoke first, making me push a stand of my hair behind my ear to give my hands something to do.

"Thanks," I mumbled, before clearing my throat and meeting her gaze. "So do you. That's, er, that's always been your colour."

She smiled in response and I cursed inwardly, wondering why the hell I said that.

"You sound like you've been doing well," she said, referring to the conversation I had with Sam.

I nodded. "Yeah, I have."

A silence filled the air that none of us knew how to fill. I stared at my shoes so hard that I'm surprised a hole didn't form. Wanda hugged herself, unsure whether to speak or not.

"What happened to your head?" I finally thought of something, nodding to the scar.

She subconsciously reached up to touch it, though she didn't seem affected by it. "Oh, nothing. Just happened in a recent mission."

I nodded uncomfortably, never responding well to when she got injured. But she knew that.

"So, Nat said you've got a date," Wanda said, and the way she said it made me think that maybe she'd been wanting to mention it for a while. "Elise, right?"

I swallowed. "Yeah. She's just helping the Bartons out with some stuff then I'll be seeing her after."

Wanda nodded, eyes flickering between me and the floor. "That's nice. So, is it new?"

God, this was awkward.

"Kind of, yeah," I answered, not even sure why. "It's not, like, exclusive, but it's nice to move on, y'know?"

She raised her eyebrows. "Oh, so you're moving on?"

I pressed my lips together firmly. She was watching me curiously, green eyes bright with intrigue.

"I'd hope so," I answered, cocking my head to the side and watching her. "It's been six months."

She nodded, looking down. "Yeah, okay... so you're not in love with her?"

I clenched my jaw. "Is that really any of your business, Wanda?" She didn't answer, so I straightened up and avoided her eyes. "I should go. Ceremony is going to start soon."

Walking away, I left with tense shoulders and more nerves than when I headed in. She had no right to be jealous. She left me.

I found Elise just before everybody was told to take their seats for the ceremony. She apologised for missing me before, mentioning how she was helping Laura with getting ready, then proceeded to shower me in compliments which sent me into a blushing mess. After catching up, we took our seats for the ceremony and waited for it to begin.

Feeling someone's eyes on me, I glanced to my left and saw Wanda sat on the other set of rows, but she was staring right at me, lips pressed together thoughtfully. I rolled my eyes and looked ahead, ignoring her stares. As if sensing my mood, Elise grabbed ahold of my hand gently, glancing at me with a small smile as if to check that was okay. I squeezed her hand in response, letting her know it was.

Are her hands sweaty? Because they look sweaty.

I clenched my jaw and shot Wanda a glare, seeing the amused smile on her lips as she watched me.

Stay out of my head, I told her mentally, knowing she was listening, before rolling my eyes. And her hands are soft, thank you very much. Yours are the sweaty ones.

Though it was a terrible comeback, Wanda lost her smile and rolled her eyes before looking away. I tried not to let her annoying self bother me as Elise and I sat together, watching the ceremony.

It was short and sweet and though I didn't know Clint and Laura too well, it was easy to see they loved each other very much. Their vows were beautiful and it was adorable when their kids ran up to them at the end to give them a giant hug. I didn't know much, but I knew that I'd love to have a love like theirs some day.

After the ceremony came the reception, and there were loads of tables and chairs set up for guests, including a stage and dance floor next to it, perfect for a nice celebration after the vow renewal. It was all wonderful and I was excited, until I learnt that I was sat on the same table as Wanda.

Me, Elise, Natasha, Sam, Wanda and Bucky Barnes were all sat at the same table, which definitely didn't help with the awkwardness as Wanda eyed me from across the food. I tried to ignore her presence and focus on having a great time with Elise. Natasha promised that Wanda wouldn't make a scene, so I just had to believe her.

"So, what can I get you all to drink?" a waiter said, stopping by our table.

Everybody told him what they wanted and when he looked to me, I shrugged.

"Literally anything is fine with me," I said, before quickly adding, "Well, anything except gin. Not a fan of gin at all."

The waiter nodded and smiled politely. "I'm sure I can get you something good without gin."

I returned his smile as he nodded to us all once more before walking away to get our drinks.

"So, what did you think of the ceremony?" Elise asked, giving me her attention.

The two of us erupted into conversation, as did everyone else, and I was genuinely having a good time with her. The food was good, too, as were the drinks when they arrived. But the one problem was Wanda bloody Maximoff who couldn't keep her eyes away from me and was agitating me with her mere presence. I tried so hard to ignore her, but God forbid my eyes flickered over to her and she was already looking my way.

After a delicious meal and lovely conversation with the others, everybody began to get up and mingle with the other guests. I took this as my chance to steer away from Wanda and instead catch up with Natasha and hang out with Elise, who got on with everyone wonderfully. Sadly though, she had to keep nipping away to help the Bartons with some stuff for the party, but I didn't mind. I figured that was also part of the reason why she didn't invite me as her plus-one, so I didn't take it personally.

About an hour into the celebrations, I was mid-conversation with Natasha when we were interrupted by Wanda. I rolled my eyes as she looked to the redhead questioningly.

"Have you seen Clint around?" she asked. "Laura wants me to take everything from the gifts table inside and I need the key."

Natasha pursed her lips, shaking her head. As her eyes looked around for him, she said, "I'm not sure where he is..."

Before either of them could come to a conclusion, Elise appeared by my side with an apologetic smile and a drink in her hand.

"Hey," she greeted, squeezing my hand gently. "Sorry for ditching you before. I had to make sure the bar didn't run out of alcohol."

"It's all good," I told her with a small smile.

"I got you this gin cocktail to make up for it," she said sweetly, making me eye the drink like it was a bomb.

Wanda snorted suddenly, making me look to her with a glare. She tried to hide her laughter behind a smile as she looked the other way, though that didn't stop her from commenting in my mind with her obnoxious, intrusive powers.

Real good listener this one. Didn't you say you didn't like gin earlier?

I refrained from smacking her. Go away, Wanda.

"Thank you," I said to Elise gratefully, accepting the drink. "It looks great."

"Oh, I think I see Clint," Wanda said, before shooting us all a smile I'd love to punch. "Catch you later."

"See ya," Natasha said, as Elise waved and I rolled my eyes.

—

Dancing was fun and I liked to think I was good for an average person. So, when the DJ put on some fun music and encouraged guests to have a little dance, I immediately asked Elise to join me. Unfortunately, she wasn't exactly the most confident of dancers. She was adorably apologising as she held my hands, letting me take the lead.

"It's okay," I reassured her with a laugh. "You're doing fine."

But as she stepped on my foot for the millionth time, I could tell she thought she was doing anything but. I didn't mind though since it was amusing and cute all at the same time.

Be careful over there, Y/N. You may have been better off wearing some steel-toed shoes.

At the sound of Wanda's voice infiltrating my mind, I searched around me until I caught sight of the familiar green eyes over Elise's shoulder. She was stood to the side, entertained smile adorning her lips, as she watched Elise and I dance.

Why don't you piss off and mind your own business before I buy a pair of steel-toed shoes just to kick you with!

She didn't respond, so I focused my attention back on Elise and paused as something a little slower and more romantic played in the background. Offering an encouraging smile to Elise, I held out my hand which she accepted happily.

"Luckily, this one is pretty easy, so you might avoid bruising my feet," I joked to lighten the mood.

She flushed with embarrassment but let me pull her close as I took the lead. Subconsciously, my eyes wandered back to Wanda, who was now crossing her arms with annoyance and watching me with glowing red eyes. She had absolutely no right to be jealous. But I didn't care. It wasn't my business.

After sharing a lovely dance with Elise, the two of us took a seat at our empty table to have some water and talk. Of course, as we were chatting, our conversation was interrupted by none other than–

"Wanda," I got out through gritted teeth.

She grinned as she took a seat next to us, crossing her legs and resting her intertwined hands on her knees comfortably.

"I figured I'd introduce myself properly since we haven't really met before," Wanda explained, eyes dancing with mischief before she looked to Elise. "I'm Wanda Maximoff."

Elise smiled politely. "I'm Elise Fey. And I know who you are. A really impressive Avenger at that."

I narrowed my eyes as Wanda waved her hand dismissively. What was she playing at exactly?

"Oh, I wouldn't say that," she said bashfully. "But I guess, since you know who I am, it's only fair I return the favour. After all, you're here as Y/N's date, and as Y/N's friend, I thought it would be nice to get to know you."

"Friend," I repeated the word bitterly. "So, that's what we are now?"

Wanda chuckled, brushing off my words, before focusing on Elise. "So, what do you do, Elise?"

"I'm a veterinarian," she quipped proudly.

"How cute," Wanda said, tilting her head to the side and smiling. "How long have you been doing that?"

"Only a few years," Elise said, glancing at me with mild confusion. "It's a really rewarding job."

"I can imagine," Wanda said, before pulling a puzzled expression. "But wait, how does that work with you both? Since Y/N is allergic to pets an' all?"

Locking my jaw with agitation, I stared at Wanda's doe-eyed face. Elise looked to me with surprise.

"You are?" she asked. "Why didn't you tell me?"

I shook my head, smiling at her. "No, not really... I mean, well, rabbits. I'm allergic to rabbits. I didn't think it was a big deal."

"It kind of is," she said playfully. "What if I had treated a rabbit at work and then went on a date with you?"

I chuckled awkwardly. "Hmm, yeah, okay, maybe it's a little bit of a big deal."

She hummed disapprovingly before looking back to Wanda, who watched us both curiously.

"So, you work as a vet in New York?" she asked Elise, and I couldn't tell if she was actually interested or just trying to piss me off. When Elise nodded, she continued, "Are you from New York?"

"I'm originally from here actually," Elise said, motioning around us. "My family knew Laura's family before she married Clint. That's how I know the Bartons."

"Oh, so your parents still live here?" Wanda asked, leaning her head in the palm of her hand as she continued to question her.

"Yeah, not far from here actually," Elise answered with a smile.

Wanda nodded. "Cool... so how would that work, the whole visiting them thing? I mean, Y/N works a lot, right? And I assume you're close with your family. So, how does taking the time off to visit your parents work with you both when it's, like, 16 hours away?"

I squeezed my hands together to contain my frustration towards Wanda. Elise opened her mouth to respond, then closed it when she realised she didn't know how to answer. Her eyes darted to mine, asking for help, and I knew she was too polite to call Wanda out for her bullshit.

"We're still newly dating, Wanda," I answered through a fake smile. "We haven't even talked about meeting each other's parents, so it's not an issue right now."

"Right now," Wanda echoed my words, as if adding a double meaning. "But it will be in the future?"

I tried not to react harshly as I said, "That's not what I said."

Wanda nodded slowly, smirk tugging at her lips. Saying nothing more on the subject, she looked to Elise with dark eyes.

"It was lovely meeting you," she finished. "I'll see you around, I guess."

Elise nodded uncomfortably. "You, too, Wanda."

Shooting me a smile, she got up and left Elise and I sat there in mixed emotions. I was peeved at the Sokovian woman, not understanding why she had to try and ruin my one chance at moving on.

"I'm sorry about that," I said to Elise, a frown on my lips. "I don't know what the hell happened, but I definitely didn't expect it."

Elise chewed on her lower lip with thought. I waited patiently, wishing I knew what she was thinking. Finally, her blue eyes met mine apologetically.

"I don't think Wanda is quite over you," she said quietly. "And maybe you're not over her either, Y/N. At least not as much as you think you are."

I raised an eyebrow. "Seriously? Elise, she's just being a dick to piss me off. It's not like that."

Elise winced. "I think it is. And honestly, you're a lovely person, but I just don't want to get involved in something like that right now."

I knitted my brows together with confusion. "What do you mean?"

She rested her hand on mine atop the table. "It's probably better we stay friends. Easier."

"Elise... c'mon. We just– we only just got to know each other." I frowned, feeling bad that she didn't want to see where this would go.

"For what it's worth, today was really fun," she said with a smile, trying to make light of the situation. "And every date we've shared has been fun, too. But I can't compete with the history you share with Wanda. And I don't want to."

I didn't know what to say, speechless, unable to understand why she was doing this. Taking that as her chance to leave, she leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek before standing up and letting go of my hand.

"I'm gonna leave early," she explained. "I hope you work stuff out for yourself."

I looked up to her, watching as she smiled once more before leaving me be. We'd only been dating a few weeks, I knew that, but I still felt saddened to know she didn't want to keep things going. And with the realisation that it was because of Wanda, my sadness was quickly replaced with anger. It always came back to her.

Scowl on my face, I stood up and knew one thing: Wanda Maximoff was dead meat.

[randomshyperson]

Wanda Maximoff X Reader - The Parent Trap

Summary: When the identical twins Billy and Tommy Maximoff are sent to the same summer camp, they hatch a plan to get their mothers back together by switching places. Or, The Parent Trap AU. / AO3

Warnings: Fluff and a bit of language.

Words:  4.229K

Notes: I want to know if anyone likes this, please tell me your opinion ;) And good reading! By the way, gif is not mine!

Part Two

The whole thing looked suspicious to you. Billy was acting too strange. He didn't run and throw himself on the couch when he got back from camp, or throw his shoes around the house like he always did. He also didn't pick up the basketball reference you made to him in the car. At first you thought maybe it was puberty. But he told you he was tired from the trip, and you messed up his hair, and told him to go get something to eat. When your dog Krypto didn't recognize him, you told him that he needed to change his clothes, because he must be smelling the camp.

Running the vineyard was taking all your time, but you were hoping to spend some time with your boy now that he was back.

You were surprised when your fiancée showed up at your house unannounced. You were trying to find a way to tell Billy about Tabitha. You met her when Billy was at camp, and you hired her as a publicist for the vineyard. And even you yourself were surprised when she asked you out. Many dates later, you were engaged to be married. You tried not to think about it so much, and to remember Tabitha's words, saying that Billy would be happy to have two mother figures, that she would help you take care of him because she had a freer schedule than yours. Honestly, you were surprised that she was in love with you.

Natasha, your best friend and housekeeper, gave you an incredulous and debauched look when you told her about your engagement, but didn't question you. You imagined that she just wanted to make fun of you.

Tabitha told you that you should tell her about the engagement right away, like ripping off a band aid. You were trying to find the right moment.

When you and Billy went out riding, you decided to tell him, hoping that he would be happy. You were a little nervous, finding it strange when he didn't even remember your usual camping trip before the end of the summer, but you thought he was just distracted.

- Hey honey, I want to tell you something. - You said, and he looked away from the vineyard in front of him and looked at you curiously. - What do you think of Tabitha?

- Like what, Mom? - He replies. - Your publicist? Your friend?

- No, dear, just what you think of her as a person. - You clarify a bit awkwardly.

Billy thought for a few seconds.

- Well, she's pretty, has good teeth and nice hair. She can spell. - He replied. - But honestly, Mom, she's a complete stranger to me. Why do you want my opinion?

You hesitated for a moment, and swallowed your nervousness. 

- Well, Billy, I'll tell you why. - You said with a trembling voice. - Because believe it or not...

- Race to the house, Mom! - He shouted, interrupting you and riding away at high speed.

You choked in surprise, as you shouted that you were trying to tell him something, but he kept riding away. You mumbled to yourself, as you rode after him.

When you finally reached the house, Natasha was crying. You ran up to her to ask if she was all right, but she just smiled, saying that they were tears of happiness, that Billy was so big and healthy. You frowned in confusion, but you were too distracted in telling your son that you were getting married to think much about it. And then Natasha left the room saying that she was going to prepare a special lunch for you both, and you sat with Billy on the sofa.

- Honey, we need to talk now. - You told him, trying to sound serious and gentle at the same time. Billy just nodded. - Honey, I want to know how you feel about Tabatha being part of the family.

- Part of our family?

- Yes.

- I think it's incredible. - He said, and you felt a wave of relief wash over your body.

- Really?

- Totally, Mom! It's a dream! - he said excitedly. - I always wanted a big sister!

It was as if a bucket of cold water had fallen on your head.

- Honey, I don't... I think you've got it wrong.

- No, mommy! I love it! - He says. - We're going to adopt Tabitha! That's so sweet, Mom.

- No, honey. - You deny it flatly. - I'm not adopting her. I'm marrying her.

It takes a second, and then Billy lets out a mixed exclamation of surprise and anger, getting up from the couch.

- Marry her? That's crazy! - he shouts. - How can you marry someone who is young enough to be my sister?

And then he starts shouting in a language you think is Russian as he paces in circles around the room, and you raise your eyebrows in surprise.

- Honey, calm down! - you ask, pulling him gently towards you. - And since when do you speak Russian?

- I learned it at camp. - He answers quickly, and then assumes an almost hurt expression. - You can't get married, Mama! It will ruin everything!

And he lets go of your grip, rushing out of the room. You let out a sigh of dissatisfaction, thinking about how it all went wrong, and throw yourself on the sofa. Natasha looks at you from the kitchen door.

- That was shameful. - She comments.

- He thought I was going to adopt her. - You retort with your eyes closed and your head against the pillows.

- That's exactly why it was embarrassing. - She scoffs, laughing softly. You don't answer, beginning to feel a slight headache forming.

You barely have time to absorb the whole conversation, when you hear a radio noise in the distance. But a few minutes, and Tabitha enters the room, sitting on your lap.

- Hello, sweetie. - She said - You look stressed.

And then she kissed you, wrapping both hands around your neck. You really just wanted to go back to bed. You let out an unsatisfied sigh, interrupting the kiss. Tabitha looked at you curiously.

- I told Billy about our wedding. - You said, and she seemed excited.

- And how was it?

- Horrible! - you said, upset. - He was furious. He yelled at me in Russian, and I didn't even know he spoke Russian!

Tabitha let out a giggle.

- Take it easy, sweetie. - She said, rubbing her hands on your shoulders. - It's a very common reaction. I'd be worried if he didn't have a reaction like that. - She argues, and begins to deposit kisses against your collarbone. You appreciate the touch, even if they don't really affect you that much. - Let me talk to him. He needs to know that I'm not an enemy.

You let out a low grumble, running your right hand over your eyes.

- Okay, Tabi. - You agree. - But be gentle.

She giggles mischievously, giving you a kiss before getting up. You sink your face into your hands as she leaves, feeling tired.

It's been a few days since you told Billy about your marriage. He hasn't mentioned it again, but he is treating you normally. Tabitha told you that the conversation went well, and you believed her.

Now you are packing your bags, getting ready to go for a weekend in the Hamptons, where Tabitha's parents, whom you haven't met yet, will be staying. You have a strange feeling, as if something is going to happen, but you can't tell what it is. 

And when you drive to the hotel, you sit with Billy in the back seat while Natasha drives, and you share some snacks. Billy also begs you to take Krypto, and you agree while ruffling his hair.

Tabitha's parents seem nice, you think. They greet you quite enthusiastically, and you are embarrassed when Tabitha slips her hand to your buttocks for a moment when you hug. 

After you check in, you and Tabitha say goodbye to her parents temporarily as they leave toward the bar, and you both make your way to the elevator to your rooms, with Billy and Natasha following a bit behind as they try to get Krypto to obey. Tabitha is particularly needy today, and you wish she wouldn't cling to you so much in such a crowded place, feeling uncomfortable. 

As you press the elevator button for your floor, while Tabitha snuggles up to you, you look toward the lobby and widen your eyes in surprise. Your ex-wife, Wanda Maximoff is standing in the center of the lobby, and she waves to you just before the elevator door closes completely. You think you are hallucinating, and wonder if you have finally lost your mind.

Tabitha continues kissing your collarbone, but you are completely disconnected from reality. When you arrive at your room, she pulls you inside, trying to take off your clothes.

- No, darling. I'm sorry. - You deny it, pushing her hands away as you try to think of a plausible excuse. - I need to see if everything is okay with Billy and Nat, okay? We'll see about that later.

Tabitha pouts, but lets you go, strutting sensuously into the bathroom. You smile awkwardly, then leave the room. 

You look around as if you're looking for someone, and you really are. And then you bump into Billy in the hallway.

- Hey baby! - You greet him by bending down to his height and putting your hands on his shoulders. - I'm going to go to the lobby. Do me a favor and look after Tabitha for me, will you?

- All right, Mom. 

- Oh, honey. - You say hesitantly. - How do I look? Do I look good?

Billy smiles, giving you a thumbs-up.

- You look beautiful, Mom.

- Okay, okay. - You say clumsily, and mess up his hair before heading back toward the elevator.

When you reach the lobby, you look around, trying to locate Wanda around. And you're startled to see Billy again.

- Honey, I thought you were going to keep Tabitha company. - You say, and he looks slightly nervous.  But you're not really paying attention.

- I will, Mom. - He says, looking around quickly. - I'm just trying to find her.

- Okay. - You mumble without really listening to him. - I'll walk around here, and see you upstairs.

But then Billy hugs you tight around the waist.

- It's good to see you, Mom. - He whispered, and you frowned in confusion, but smiled, bending down to return the hug quickly.

- It's good to see you too, honey. - You joked, and pulled him away slightly to make sure he was all right. He looked happy.

- It's okay, Mom, you can go. - He said, and you ruffled his hair before heading off in the opposite direction, looking around with a mixture of nervousness and excitement.

The hotel was quite large, and you had been looking for many minutes by the time you got to the pool area.

And then you saw her, in all her glory, coming down the stairs on the opposite side from where you were standing. A smile slipped from your lips at the same moment, and you felt your heart race. Wanda looked just as beautiful as the last time you saw her, almost twelve years ago.

Your feet moved automatically, but it seemed that suddenly all the people in the pool area were in your way to get to her. You heard Natasha call out to you, warning you to be careful, but then you are bumping into one of the waiters, stumbling backwards and falling into one of the pools.

You think Billy screamed in surprise, but you kept following Wanda through the water, she noticed you with all this commotion.

Coming out of the pool, completely drenched, you let out a happy sigh as you stopped in front of her. 

You should be grinning like an idiot, but Wanda also seemed amazed to see you. 

- Wanda. - You sighed.

- Hi Y/N.

- Wow, there you are. - You said, still impressed. Wanda just smiled at you, equally embarrassed. - Sorry, something's happened that I don't know about. I'm completely surprised to see you, but you don't seem surprised to see me at all. - You say and Wanda looks away quickly. - I haven't seen, or known anything about you for ten or maybe eleven years. And suddenly on the same day...

- Hi Mom. - Billy interrupts you, and you look at him in surprise. - I can explain why she's here.

- Honey, do you... do you know who she is? 

- Actually, I do. - He says, smiling awkwardly. - And actually, I'm not Billy.

- Actually, I am. 

You choke in surprise to see your two twins together, next to each other.

- What... You two...

- You and Mom must think alike, because you sent us to the same camp. - Billy says. You feel your heart racing, still completely in shock. - We met there, and everything came up.

- They switched places, Y/N. - Clarified Wanda beside you.

You let out a sigh.

- You mean I was with Tommy all this time? - you ask with emotion in your voice.

- Well, I wanted to know what you were like. - Tommy said. - And Billy wanted to know what Mom was like. Are you angry?

- Honey of course not. - You denied it by bending down to his height. - I just can't believe it's you, look how much you've grown. - You say happily, pulling him into a tight hug. You pull him away a moment later to look at his face tenderly, running your fingers over his cheeks. - My boy looks so handsome.

Tommy smiles at you, and then releases your grip, returning to his brother's side.

- And you, Billy, have you been in London all this time? - you ask, and he shrugs. You let out a short laugh before hugging him tightly. - I can't believe you're together.

- Mom is awesome, Mom. - Says Billy looking at you. - I don't know how you let her get away.

You laugh uncomfortably, then let him go.

- Boys, let me and your mother talk for a moment, okay? - Wanda asks with a smile. Billy and Tommy nod slightly, and you put your hands in your pockets awkwardly as you and Wanda walk around the pool until you sit on one of the benches, facing each other. You think you should try to stop smiling so much, but this must be the happiest you've been in twelve years.

- I can't believe this. - You comment, biting your lips for a moment. - Seeing them together. Seeing you.

Wanda giggles, a slight redness in her cheeks.

- How are you, Wands? - you ask, and realize that the nickname escapes your lips with ease. - Or does everyone call you Miss Maximoff now?

She smiles, a little awkwardly, denying it with her head.

- My brother still calls me Wands. - She says. - You can call me whatever you like. - She smiles awkwardly. 

- And how is Pietro? - you find yourself asking. You were overflowing with curiosity, wanting to absorb as much of Wanda as possible, afraid that she would disappear at any moment. - Is he married?

- Oh no. - She giggles. - Pietro lives with me now. He retired from racing. He goes on casual dates, but he says he doesn't want anything serious.

- You haven't changed a bit. - You comment, looking at her adoringly. God, she looks so beautiful.

- There you are! I've been looking all over for you! - says a female voice startling you both. You look away from Wanda quickly, Tabitha looks at you both with a frown. - Good, you have met. Honey, Miss Maximoff designs wedding dresses, and she's going to make... Wait, how do you two know each other? And honey, why are you all wet?

You and Wanda stand up awkwardly, you run your hand straight down the back of your neck, trying to think how exactly to explain, feeling Tabitha's confused gaze on you.

- You are going to make my fiancee's dress. - You say, turning to Wanda.

- I didn't know she was your fiancée. - She retorts.

- How we met... How I know you... - You turn to Tabitha again, trying to find a way to tell her. - How do you two know each other?

- Sorry, am I missing something here? - Tabitha asks with narrowed eyes.

- You know, this world is so small. - You comment with a wry smile.

- How small? - She replies seriously.

- Hello, Tabitha. - says Tommy, appearing next to the blonde. She greets him back, but then looks at you waiting for your answer.

- How are you? - Billy asks, appearing on the other side, and Tabitha jumps in fright.

- How... - She spins her body around quickly, varying her gaze and finger pointing between Billy and Tommy. - Two of them... How?

- So, did I ever mention that Billy was a twin?

- You forgot that little detail. - She replies with slight irritation in her voice, looking at you and crossing her arms.

- Don't be upset. - said Tommy. - She didn't tell me either. And by the way, I'm not Billy. He is. - He explained. - I was pretending to be him, while he was pretending to be me.

- And that's our other mother over there. - Said Tommy quickly pointing to the redhead next to you. - Wanda Maximoff.

Wanda smiled, but Tabitha didn't look happy at all.

- Is that your mother? - she asked incredulously. The boys nodded in agreement. - Were you two married?

- Yes. - Both of you confirmed clumsily.

- Oh, yes. Small world indeed. - Tabitha says.

- It just got smaller. - You comment nervously.

- And what a coincidence that we are all here together at the same weekend. - She adds wryly, while the boys exchange a mischievous glance. - Can I talk to you privately, Y/N?

You nod slightly as she turns and walks away, and then you turn to Wanda.

- It was ... it's ... good. Good to see you. - You say awkwardly, Wanda smiles and nods slightly. - We... I don't know...

- Go change your clothes and talk to your fiancée. - She pokes you lightly. But her gaze is not malicious. - We'll talk later.

By the time you reached Tabitha, she was already entering the elevators. You think you should be worried, but you just feel uncomfortable. You want to go back to the pool and talk to Wanda. Tabitha doesn't say anything until you are in your suite. Then she yells at you. You think she said something about trust, but you're not really listening. And then Tabitha slams the door on her way out, and you have a smile on your face, thinking of Wanda.

Tommy and Billy insist that the four of you have dinner together. And honestly, you make no effort to find excuses not to go. 

And then you find yourself standing in front of the hotel, completely breathless at the image of your ex-wife wearing a red dress that embraces her in all the right places.

You feel embarrassed, not knowing exactly what to say or do, but Wanda lets you hold her arm as you walk together toward the harbor, the boys ahead of you.

And then you approach a big ship, and you feel your heart soar.

- Is that ?

- Yes. - Wanda confirms with a smile, looking as surprised as you are.

Parked in the harbor is the same ship you met twelve years ago. As you walk up the stairs, Wanda asks how the boys managed to get all this, and they just say they pooled their allowance with a little help from Uncle Pietro and Aunt Nat, which makes you and Wanda laugh.

When you arrive at one of the private dining rooms inside the ship, the boys guide you both inside, and you frown as you look at the dining table.

- Darlings, why are there only two chairs? - you ask, looking at your sons. They exchange mischievous glances.

- We're not having dinner with you. - says Billy.

- What? - Wanda asks

- I should have known better. - You make a humorous remark. 

 - Come on, Mom. Don't be angry. - asks Tommy without looking the least bit sorry for his little plot. - We think you two have a lot to talk about.

You let out a sigh, agreeing. The boys leave a short time later, and you and Wanda sit down at a small table. It is an intimate and romantic dinner, and brings up feelings you have held for a long time.

- Are you okay with this, Wands? - you ask as soon as you are settled at the table. - With dinner I say. With me.

Wanda giggles.

- I'm the one who should be asking you that. - She says. - You're the one getting married.

The teasing makes something in your stomach turn nervously, and you give her an embarrassed smile and look away from her to the table. And then Pietro and Nat enter the room, dressed as waiters, and you both let out surprised exclamations.

- I won't even ask. - You joke, but the two of you just smile politely.

- Good evening, madames. - says Pietro. You notice how much older he looks since you last saw him. - We'll be serving dinner for you tonight.

- And these are the hors d'oeuvres. - Nat says as she places a few items on the table. You look at the dishes with curiosity, and are happy to see that they all look delicious.

They leave next, and you and Wanda exchange a look of amusement. You both sample a few things, and then you find yourself looking at Wanda again. She smiles when she notices.

- You want to ask me something. - she says with a smile. - Just ask.

- It's not a question, I think. - You say after a moment, trying to clarify your thoughts. Being with Wanda makes everything seem like background. - I was just wondering, how did this happen?

Wanda takes a sip of wine, raising her eyebrows slightly.

- What exactly happened? - she replies. - The ship? The children? The dinner?

You giggle, slumping back in your chair.

- Us, Wanda. - You say. - What happened to us?

Wanda looks away from you, looking slightly upset. 

- I don't know Y/N. - She answers. - We were so young, immature and so, so temperamental. We both said stupid things. - She says with a slight nostalgia. - And then I left, and you didn't come after me.

She finishes her sentence with a quick sad smile, and you feel your stomach drop.

- I didn't think you would want this.

Wanda shrugged, a glint in her eyes that you couldn't read.

- It really doesn't matter anymore.

And then Pietro and Nat are back with the main courses, and you look away from Wanda quickly, an immense feeling of guilt and regret in your chest. 

You have a lot to think about, but it has been so long, and now you had a fiancée, a life that went on without Wanda. You let out a sigh, raising your hand to the glass of wine, and turning it over in your mouth with a single gulp.

You ate in silence for a while, the food was tasty, but you thought you two had become quiet because of the conversation. But then Wanda looked at you again.

- What will happen now that they know? - Wanda asked, and you frowned slightly.

- Why would that be a problem?

 - We live in different countries. - She clarified. - What are we going to do, half of the year I stay with Billy, and the other half with Tommy?

You laughed awkwardly, running your hands through your hair.

- Wow, this is a terrible idea. - You declare and Wanda raises her eyebrow slightly. - The kids will never accept this. We'll just have to find a way to make it work.

You're starting to get a migraine thinking about everything.

- Maybe... things could stay the same. - she says. - And then they visit each other on vacation.

You nod in agreement. You hold the smile on your face even as you feel a great wave of nervousness at the thought that it was settled: Wanda would return to London, she would be out of your life again. 

You finish dinner in a polite and friendly way, not talking any more. You think you might cry, but you drink more wine to calm your body. 

When you and Wanda say good-bye in the hotel lobby, you kiss her cheek, and see in her eyes the same sadness and longing that you have.

You are trying not to get angry with your children, even though they are stubborn brats. You have already checked out of the hotel, and were getting ready to leave, when Tommy and Billy came down from their rooms to say goodbye. And then they matched clothes, and refused to say who is who so that you could leave.

- This is absolutely ridiculous, boys. - You comment next to Wanda. - Your mother will miss her flight.

But your children just kept their arms crossed, and you let out an impatient grumble.

- Kids, what's this about now? - Wanda asked. - Even if I miss the flight, eventually Tommy will come with me.

The boys exchanged a thoughtful look.

- We want everyone together at the camp at the end of the summer vacation. - Said one of the boys, you thought it might be Billy, but you weren't sure.

- And when we get back, we'll tell you who's who. - Completed the brother, maybe this was Billy.

- I have an even better idea! - you exclaim. - You obey your mothers and Tommy goes back to London as we agreed.

And that's how you ended up in a car with Wanda, and your two sons, and your fiancée heading for home. Tabitha was not at all happy about the whole situation.