#also i have too much anxiety to snap haha.

[banquetwriter]

୨୧ invisible scars ୨୧

this was the request sent via DM: 1.fluff

2. Johnnie Guilbert

Hey! I love your writing and I was hoping if you could do one about Johnnie Guilbert x reader where the reader has hyperesthesia and they are feeling sad because of how people don't understand her and take her condition seriously and Johnnie comforts her? It would mean a lot to me since I have struggled with hyperesthesia. Thank you for your time! xx @tacuuuu

pairing: Johnnie Guilbert ♡︎ Reader

warnings: ୭̥⋆*｡ Jake being a dick lol, mentions of pain, reader being sad

summary: ʚ Johnnie defends your invisible illness ʚ

Words: 950

An: so sorry I have been sucking lately I'm literally dying lol, also there is very little online for hyperesthesia so I did my very best haha 🖤

SUPPORT ME

Your whole body was riddled with the feeling of pins and needles. It was numb with pain, the occasional burning sensation coming in waves across your body. It was the third and last day of Coachella weekend two, and your body was wrecked.

You had more caffeine and boos than your body could handle. It was about 2:30 and it was time to start getting ready and pregame. Your muscles felt like they were guitar strings that had been played too much.

You took a deep sigh tightening the snuggly soft blanket you had wrapped yourself in. You sat not listening to the conversations around you. “Y/n!!” Tara shrieked looking at you. You reluctantly moved your head up to look at her. She was halfway done with her makeup already and had her hands placed on her hips.

“I'm sorry Tara but I'm probably not going to go tonight. I will just crash into Airbnb,” you mumbled with a sorry expression. “Y/nnnnn!” she whined, turning around to keep getting ready. “I know I know, I’m sorry Tara.” you apologized flopping back on the couch.

Suddenly you heard the door open, you peeked out of your blanket to see Jake and Johnie walking through the door. A small part of you was so relieved to see Johnnie. You knew he would understand like he always does.

He is always there for you, his touch seemingly a remedy for your pain. You sit up and pout watching Johnnie move his way to you. Jake opens the fridge and pulls out a drink. “Hey, sweetheart,” Johnnie mumbles, wrapping his arms around you.

You sink into his touch, feeling your nervous system calm down. “Bad pain day?” he asks as you close your eyes. You take a deep breath milking this moment in. “Yeah, not sure what brought it on,” you mumbled, Johnnie kissed your forehead humming against your skin.

You opened your eyes and smiled at your boyfriend. You took in his outfit. God, he looked so damn fine. “Shit, you're looking like a smoke show,” you remark, eyeing him up and down. He rolls his eyes with a grin.

Jake walks over to the two of you while wiggling his hips back and forth. “You two crazy cats ready to have one hell of a last day?” he asks while taking a sip from his drink. “Oh, I'm not going anymore,” Johnnie says nonchalantly. Both you and Jake snap your heads towards him.

“No way Jose!” Jake says, putting his hand on his chest in shock. “What?” you ask, pulling away from Johnnie’s arms slightly. “You're in pain. You need to be taken care of today. I'm not just gonna leave you.” he said, meeting your eyes.

“Nuh-uh, you're joining us!” Jake yelled out looking at Johnnie. “Johnnie, don't ditch them!” you whisper screamed. “Y/n you're having a bad day I'm gonna be here for you,” he promised.

Your heart swelled with adoration at his words, an equal part of guilt. Your worst fear was coming true. You were dragging others down with your disability. “Dude y/n says it's fine! Just come get drunk.” Jake says encouragingly.

“No dude,” Johnnie says calmly, just shaking his head. You felt a little awkward sitting there now. You had never ever wanted to make other people suffer from what you go through. Your heart clenched with anxiety.

“Jesus Johnnie it's not even that bad. Y/n still does stuff all the time! They went on a run the other day!” Jake moaned dramatically, bending his knees for emphasis. You cringed at his words. While it was true some days you had energy others you certainly did not and this was one of those days.

Before you could defend yourself Johnnie was quick to step up. “Dude that's not how it fucking works. Not everyone's issues are visible, you know that. They are at real risk with their blood pressure being so high. So no I'm not going I'm going to stay and take care of my girlfriend ok?” Johnnie says, his eyes open wide with anger.

Jake had looked like a kicked puppy. He looked over at you with a small sad smile. You had almost forgotten you were there for a second, finding it hard to believe anyone as incredible as Johnnie would defend you like that.

“Hey um, I'm sorry y/n I swear I didn't mean it like that. It's totally ok if you need rest some days, I was being a little bit of an idiot.” Jake sheepishly admits. You open your mouth to speak but no sound comes out. You shoot a quick glance at Johnnie before you look back at Jake.

You take a deep sigh before calming him down. “Don't worry man. If I could change it I would,” you mutter before standing up and making your way to your ‘bedroom’.

You sink into your bed, no longer feeling the comforting touch of Johnnie. And thankfully it wasn't long before he walked into the room. You didn't turn to look at him at all, you just let him walk over to the bed.

You hear shuffling for a minute before the bed dips down with his weight. His arms wrap around your torso pulling you into him. You let your eyes close as his comfort slowly dulls the numbness in your body.

“Thank you,” you mumble against the pillow. “Of course,” he says softly. “You will never be too sick for me. I'm always right here,” he mumbled a second later. Neither of you moved, but you could swear when you were having a better you would tell him how greatful you were.

[lanawinterscigarettes]

No Pickles (Blair Waldorf x gn reader)

Summary: Blair insists on sending your food back when you're given the wrong order

Warnings: the reader is implied to be a bit of a picky eater and have social anxiety/people pleasing tendencies but I think that's about it besides that

A/N: based off that one relationship meme of "they asked for no pickles" because that would totally be blair and her partner in my mind (that's also where the title comes from haha)

Blair loved taking you out places. Shopping, movies, restaurants, you name it. At this point she'd probably taken you to every upscale place on the Upper East Side at least once.

Dinner dates were possibly her favorite. She loved getting all dolled up for you in one of her favorite dresses, doing her hair and makeup before heading out for your reservation. Seeing you dressed fancier than usual wasn't a bad perk as well.

One thing she always knew to keep in mind, however, was making sure whatever place she took you had a menu she knew you'd enjoy. There were certain things you just couldn't stomach eating, and she completely understood that, having gone through her share of aversion when it came to certain food before in the past.

That's why it was so important to her for you to feel comfortable and safe with whatever you were eating, no matter how big or small. In fact, she often ordered for you just to be certain nothing was miscommunicated between you and the server.

It was a Friday night, which naturally meant the two of you were out at dinner together. You usually tried to go out with her at least once a week, just so you could spend some time with her and make sure she wouldn't have to worry about feeling neglected or anything like that.

You decided to order your own food for once, which is something you almost never did and something you were certain you wouldn't do again for a while after this. Everything seemed fine at first when the server brought the food out, but you soon realized they'd put the one thing on your dish that you'd asked for them not to add.

Most people wouldn't see it as that big of a deal and would probably tell you to just take it off, but Blair knew you well enough to know you still wouldn't eat it afterwards because you wouldn't feel comfortable with it. Still, you decided not to say anything, electing to remain quiet and simply eat around the portion of food that you didn't like.

Blair picked up on your sudden silence and hesitation to eat almost immediately, her brown eyes narrowing into a calculating gaze as she watched you. "What's wrong?" She demanded, her tone firm but not quite harsh in a way that was always reserved specifically for you.

"Nothing, it's fine," you responded quickly, far too quickly for what you just said to be true.

Reaching her arm out across the table, she set her hand on top of yours in order to get your attention. "Hey. I know you, and I know when you're upset. Now tell me what's wrong."

Letting out a quiet sigh, you set your fork down and explained. "It's nothing, just- I asked for them not to add something to my plate, and they did it anyway. But I can always eat around it, it's fine."

"Absolutely not. You asked for your food to be prepared a certain way, and I'm not letting them off the hook for it until your order's correct," she stated firmly before snapping her fingers at the nearest server, trying to get their attention. "Excuse me, I'd like to make a complaint," she said while keeping her hand resting on yours in a reassuring manner.

You listened quietly as she told the server what they'd gotten wrong, to which they very profusely apologized, taking the dish back from you before vowing to fix it. That wasn't much of a surprise, as nobody (especially those in the service industry) wanted to risk getting on Blair Waldorf's bad side.

"They'll be back with your food in a minute, sweetie, okay?" She gave you one of those rare genuine smiles of hers that wasn't either condescending or fake, her thumb rubbing the back of your hand as she continued to hold it. "Would you like to try some of mine while you wait?"

Contemplating her offer, you thought for a moment before nodding your head, albeit a little reluctantly. You didn't always like trying out new types of food, but you knew she wouldn't be offering to give you something that she thought you wouldn't enjoy.

Letting go of your hand, she picked up her fork and got a small bit of the food from her meal on it before leaning over the table and feeding it to you. It wasn't something you'd order for yourself, but you could appreciate the flavors and didn't necessarily regret trying it.

She let you have another bite or two before the server returned with your own plate of food, apologizing yet again for the mistake as they set it down in front of you. This time, the dreaded portion of the dish you always ate it without was nowhere to be seen, much to both you and Blair's delight.

Thanking the server, you began to happily dig in to the meal, your spirits successfully lifted and your mood notably brightened compared to earlier when your food first arrived. It tasted even better when you didn't have to worry about accidentally eating the wrong thing.

"Next time they end up getting your food wrong, I want you to tell me right away and I'll make sure they get it fixed, understood?" Blair said in an almost stern matter while watching you eat, looking pleased that you weren't upset anymore.

"Okay," you agreed without protest, eating a little bit more of your food before adding in a somewhat shy manner, "thank you for telling them about it for me so I wouldn't have to."

"Of course. That's my job as your girlfriend, to make sure you always get what you want," she replied as if it was nothing. "You'd do the same thing for me."

You couldn't argue with her there. You'd do anything to make Blair happy, even if it meant doing something as big as going to the ends of the earth. And she'd do the exact same for you, even if it meant doing something as small as sending your food back because they got your order wrong.

End notes: I thought it would be very in character for blair to do something like this and I'm pretty sure I actually talked with @sparklingbutterflies about it one time which is where the idea for this fic initially came from

Likes < reblogs | comments are greatly appreciated | requests are currently open

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[thetriplets3]

I'm sorry if I confused you! I read the response wrong haha. Can I please request a fic, I know you like Matt more and I don't care if you do Matt or Chris

but one where Matt holds readers hand for the first time and it's all sweaty, but cute?

Thanks! 👙

sorry i’m just answering this now. this is my attempt at a blurb. a long blurb. also as i finished writing this i realized i didn't really do the request exactly sorry

❝𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝❞

the boys had invited me to go to the flea market with since i haven’t been able to go the past few times. i can’t help the feeling of anxiety that washes over me as i get ready. will it be busy? what if i get separated from the boys and can’t find them? i’m from a small town i’m not used to stuff like this what if i stick out like a sore thumb and everyone can tell i don’t belong here? i shake my hands out before walking into their house, announcing myself to let them know i’m here so we can leave right away as planned.

i’m first greeted by matt who’s sitting on the couch patiently ready for his brothers to hurry up. a wide smile graces his face as he stands up and makes his way to pull me into one of his comforting hugs.

“everything okay?” he quietly asks as his head rests atop mine, concern lacing his voice.

all i can manage to say back is a small “mhm i’m good” with a smile in attempt to cover up my nerves. he pulls away from the hug still holding me at arms length looking in my eyes for any uncertainty and anxiety.

“it’ll be a good day i’m glad you’re finally able to come with us. i knew the first time we went that you’d love some of the stuff they have” he says with a smile before turning towards the stairs to yell at his brothers to get downstairs. waiting for them to come down my eyes look anywhere but at matt and i fidget with my finger twisting the bottom of it around realizing i forgot to put my rings on.

nick and chris come barreling towards me embracing me in a quick hug before we head to the car.

“are you looking for anything in particular?” chris turns to ask once he gets situated in his seat.

“no just whatever catches my eye” i softly reply.

as we drove around in circles trying to find an empty parking spot i could feel my breathing slightly pick up seeing how many cars there were. my eyes meet matt’s in the rear view mirror. i watch as his brows furrow ever so subtly not wanting to draw attention to our silent conversation of him scanning my face and wordlessly asking if i’m okay. i send him a small nod and a closed lip smile letting him know i’m fine. or at least that’s what i’m trying to convince him and myself. we all get out of the car and head towards where the booths are. i’m a few steps behind the boys trying to collect myself and my thoughts as i shake my hands out and let out a deep breath. i’m interrupted from my thoughts as i feel a warm hand in mine that’s quickly replaced by a cold feeling and fingers linking mine making my eyes snap up.

“just so ya know kid, the darting, wide eyes, the chewing on your upper lip, the hand shaking, heavy sighs, the antsy shifting, and fidgeting with your fingers doesn’t say ‘i’m good’” he says just loud enough for me to hear in a joking manner with an undertone of concern.

seeing the tears build in my eyes he squeezes my hand letting me know he’s here to listen. “i was so excited to come here but i just couldn’t help but think and worry about stupid thoughts and i let those thoughts get to me and then seeing how busy it is just made it worse. i just feel silly letting my thoughts get the best of me and ruin the things i look forward to you know?” my voice shakes.

“hey hey it’s okay deep breaths. you should have said something earlier i would have been able to help you. if you feel like it’s too much we can leave, or we can go look around and if at any point you wanna go we can, or you and i can just sit in the car and listen to music while nick and chris look around” he always knows what to say.

“do you mind if we sit in the car? ” i quietly ask, feeling guilty for ruining the plans.

“not at all because i get to spend time with you and that sounds even better than being around anyone else”

he sends nick a quick text telling him i don't feel good and that we're just gonna hang out in the car but tells them to take their time (wanting to spend more time with just you). getting yourselves settled in the car i lean my seat back so i can lie down knowing that'll make me feel better not having to see everything and everyone around me. matt follows my actions, turning his body to face mine with a big closed lip smile on his face. he pulls out his phone and scrolls looking for a specific playlist. my brows furrow briefly before turning soft as i hear my favorite song start playing. this isn't matt's taste in music and not a song i've ever heard on one of his playlists before. he must have been able to sense my confusion.

"i- uh i made a playlist with your favorite songs because i know you find them comforting and i thought it'd help calm you down when you're feeling anxious and i like listening to them, they remind me of you" he says not letting you see the name he gave the playlist.

my heart melts at his admission. i didn't think he remembered something so small, i mean he knows my favorite artists but i didn't know he paid attention to the specific songs that were my favorite, let alone care enough to make a playlist to help me. such a sweet gesture that makes my heart flutter. i reach my hand out resting it on the center console, taking the hint he intertwines his fingers with mine giving them a subtle squeeze.

"thank you. for everything. i didn't think anyone paid attention to the things i say especially something so insignificant. i don't remember what i say half the time because it's usually nothing important" i say barely above a whisper.

"everything you say is important and significant to me. you're important to me and i see the way your eyes light up when you talk about things you love, of course i'm gonna pay attention and remember. seeing you happy is important to me" his volume matching mine. "i love you always have and always will, you're important to me"

i caught the way his pupils grew as they sparkled more than they usually do when he says i love you. he meant it differently this time.

"i love you matt" i confess, returning the sparkle. our eye contact is full of love and every unsaid emotion. his hand squeezes mine as he brings it to his lips.

"close your eyes and rest we might be waiting a while for them".

and we did just that with our hands intertwined and our feelings for each other out in the open.

taglist: @antisocialties @iluvmatt @dwntwn-strnlo @fake-coolbeans @opheliaofficial07 @angelcake-222 @oneirophobic @strniolo @lollibumblebee @ssturniolo @20nugs @abbie13sworld @strniolo @luvsturniolo

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for having my brother over for a week?

So this was a while ago. I was living with three roommates, two of which I + one of the roommates had a huge conflict with (the newest roommates.) It was a whole thing, not relevant here except to say that tensions were high.

At this time, I was at the very tail end of recovering from an intense surgery. I was able to do most things, but I had a tube coming out of me (SP tube, if that means anything to anyone) that could get painful if I moved around too much (not supposed to happen! I just have a really sensitive body.) I had been staying with my parent, mostly when I was bedbound, but missed staying at home with my cat (and my videogames haha) so I returned to the apartment. The roommate I had a good relationship with worked full time, and my brother was between jobs, so he offered to come stay with me until the tube came out. I also sort of wanted someone to be with me while the roommate I had a good relationship with was at work, because the other two were unemployed and at home all the time, and I didn't want to be at home alone with them while in this sort of delicate state.

I messaged my roommates in our group chat saying my brother would be staying for a while to help me with recovery and emotional support. No response, but that was pretty typical. He slept on the couch (my room is too small for an air mattress, and I only had a twin bed) in the living room.

After a few days, one of the roommates (W) snapped at him, saying something like "when are you leaving?" in a really angry tone. It sort of scared my brother, and it frustrated me. I told him that my brother is staying to support me in my surgery recovery since I literally have a tube coming out of me. Admittedly I did somewhat exaggerate the type of help I needed, because it was primarily emotional support that I needed and I knew he wouldn't recognize that. He said that he didn't agree to having him stay this long (about a week) and that he didn't like having a random person in the living room (which he never went in? He stayed in his room because he didn't like how we decorated the living room. I only ever saw him when he went to the kitchen to get breakfast (a toaster strudel he would heat up and bring back to his room, he made a point of not hanging out in there) or use the bathroom.

I told him the date that the tube was coming out and said my brother was staying until the day after.

All this really spooked my brother (he has some bad anxiety) and obviously my roommate was upset. I don't feel bad about upsetting my roommate tbh, but I do feel bad about scaring my brother. I did know that W was sort of volatile like this (not physically, he just yelled and stuff) and had talked about that with my brother before he came. Was I an asshole to either one of them, for having my brother come over and/or for having him stay that long?

What are these acronyms?

[pianocat939]

Hello! I'm having a bit of a rough time so I thought I'd send this ask. What would the turtles be like with a S/O that has anxiety, depression and PTSD? How would they help them if their depression is bad enough that on some days they can't get out of bed, forget to eat, etc? Bonus if S/O is plus-sized/kinda chubby and insecure about it.

God- the first thing I write about is of course a comfort ask- never could be any more surprising-

I'm gonna answer the questions rather than discuss the general idea since this topic can contain an ungodly amount of scenarios.

Tw: situations with severe symptoms of depression, dealing with insecurities

Can't get out of bed?

(Ok so assuming one feels like getting out of bed is too much to bear-) Mikey probably wouldn't question it all that much and instead asks if you want/need anything. He doesn't mind at all and instead spends most of that day in the same room. He's probably gonna be drawing, or something to keep his mind going. I swear- he'll reassure you every hour- like that man cannot fucking stop the worry.

Donnie...He won't try to get you out of bed but might advise you to sit up (and yes he will even lift you up if you don't have the feel for it). From there, he'll kinda stay in the same perimeter while also working in his lab. He'll ofc have his phone on the ready if you contact him for something. Emotionally speaking, I think he'll just not pay much mind to it at all. Unlike Mikey, who will express his thoughts on this situation, Donnie will just nonchalantly treat the day as pretty normal...while also trying to help you somehow.

Leo. I think he will relate to this more than any of the siblings, considering we just labelled him as 'angsty man 100'. He's gonna be similar to Mikey, expressing his verbal reassurance. I think unlike Mikey, who will try to express his understanding of the situation, Leo will literally try to connect from his own experiences. I guess if we were to compare the two- sympathy: and empathy.

Raph. Bro is gonna worry quite a bit- considering that's how he is. He'll ask every hour if you have everything you need, or want. If you ever speak of being sorry for not being able to leave bed, he'll go complete parent and deny all of it. Even if you can't get out of bed, he'll try to ensure you intake liquids, and at the very least try to eat something.

(Personally- I haven't had this type of experience so excuse me if it's not...the ideal sort of treatment.)

Forget to eat?

Donnie, I wouldn't even worry about this because he probably tracks what foods you intake daily, so if you aren't eating he's gonna barge into your home and won't dare leave until you do eat. I'm gonna be honest here, he'll probably have a crazy expression and holding the plate of food to you like he's gonna snap any moment.

Raph might take a few hours to notice, but once he does he's very polite about it. He'll remind you, and if you don't feel like cooking he'll do it for you. He's not like a gourmet chef like Mikey, but he's obtained some skills to provide for the other turtles. He'll understand if you don't want to eat much, but he'll try to get you to eat some.

Leo is so casual about it I can't even- like he could just open some random bag of food (that you can eat right away) and hand it to you. He doesn't care much for nutrition all that much, as long as you eat- given the situation you forget.

Mikey will Gordan Ramsay himself to make you a fine dish. Unlike Donnie who will aggressively stand there to make you eat, he'll just hand you the food without warning you in advance. He'll know whenever you eat, since he just does from being obsessed. He won't ask what you want to eat, and instead just cooks something that aligns to your usual tastes.

(Again I haven't had this type of sitaution either- so literally excuse me before haha...)

Insecurities?

Raph is already the mom friend, so when he notices whatever insecurity you have- he’ll find some time to sit you down and discuss with you about it. He understands why you would feel insecure about ___ but of course plays the ‘reassurance’ card. He is fine that you can’t get rid of your doubt at first, so instead he often makes positive comments about ___.

Leo unlike Raph, I feel would compliment on whatever insecurity you have rather than outwardly sitting down and talking about it. He’ll definitely notice, it’s just he’s not as sentimental like Raph is. Only if it’s bad enough will he take the time to talk about it with you.

Donnie is the least expressive out of the 4, which is not very surprising. It takes him a bit longer to notice, but once he does, his reassurances are blank, not so much on the feelings side. For example, “That body part? It’s fine as it is. There’s no life-threatening issue with it, is there? How it looks doesn’t matter.” Similar to Leo, only if your worry is bad enough will he say more sympathetic/empathetic reassurances.

Mikey…he’s a 50/50. On one hand, he could be very mushy and emotional about his observations/reassurances. Meanwhile, on the other hand, he could literally be almost…aggressive with his compliments. Like he’ll say it every day, even every hour if he has to. If you don’t like it, you’ll have to tell him, but other than that, he won’t stop.

——————————————————

Not my best work- but I tried. It’s…a bit difficult for me to do individual reactions sometimes. Depending on the situation. Especially with more fluffy ones.

…Jet lag is still bad so I can’t sleep yet-

- Celina

[ashwhowrites]

hi! can you do a dom nancy fic where reader has been bratting all day and nance is getting pissed

reader thinks that nance is going to leave her because she’s been to “annoying” but nancy drops her act and comforts her

— sorry if it’s confusing i’ve never submitted an ask before haha

thank you 🫶

Not confusing at all! You did amazing, sweetie <3

More of a blurb- it's kinda short

I hope this is what you wanted :)

~~~

Nancy was a girl that anyone could tell she held herself upright. She walked with power, snarled with intimidation, and walked over anyone that wasn't worth her time.

She didn't take anything from anyone anymore. She found her voice and used it.

But her adorable girlfriend, Y/N? She just made Nancy melt.

~~~

Everyone knows Nancy cannot deal with people who lack common sense, she grows irritated too fast. She also did not deal with attitude well, she cannot stand a brat. And no matter who it was, she could not handle it when her peace and quiet is interrupted.

Y/N understood that Nancy was always in control of their relationship, and she loved it. She loved how mean Nancy could be, but always kiss softly. How Nancy's words had venom, but her tongue was so sweet. The mean front Nancy pulled was all just for fun, fun for their dynamic. Y/N knew that Nancy would never intend to hurt her feelings.

But some days that little fact doesn't bring Y/N the comfort she needs.

~~~

Y/N doesn't know why she continued to have an attitude toward Nancy. She knew her girlfriend hated brats and never liked to deal with them.

But Y/N couldn't help but continue to push Nancy's buttons all day long. Y/N would talk over Nancy as she ranted about a topic. Whenever Nancy demanded Y/N to do something, she would refuse to move. Crossing her arms and standing up to her. She watched as Nancy's jaw never unclenched.

Nancy was making dinner, a little stressed because she got behind. Which Y/N caused, but Nancy tried her best not to snap.

But Y/N followed her around the kitchen, her arms wrapping around Nancy's waist. Keeping her arms locked as Nancy tried to move around the kitchen. Y/N's body moving with her.

Nancy was getting irritated. Taking deep breaths as she continued to cook.

"Baby, please let go of me. It's too hard to move." Nancy said, trying to sound as nice as she could.

But again, Y/N didn't bother to listen, just squeezing Nancy in her arms.

"Now, Y/N" Nancy snapped, but Y/N didn't move.

Instead, she began to sing right in Nancy's ear. Trying to rock their bodies back and forth.

Nancy couldn't help but snap.

"STOP! You need to fucking listen to me. Go sit." Nancy snapped, using her finger to point to the kitchen table.

She felt Y/N remove her body immediately and walked to the chair. Nancy watched as her body slouched in the chair.

Nancy said a small thank you and began to work on the dinner.

~~~

Y/N felt terrified. Nancy didn't ever really yell. Y/N wasn't sure if she's ever made Nancy that upset before.

The anxiety was settling in. Picking at her fingers as she watched Nancy move all around the kitchen, never once looking over.

Y/N knew she could be annoying. She was clingy, dependent on others, and leaned on Nancy for everything. Maybe she was becoming too much?

She spent the evening in her head, Nancy noticing how quiet she was as they ate.

Nancy could see the anxiety in her eyes and see how small her body language was.

"I'm sorry for yelling, baby." Nancy apologized, softly placing her hand on Y/N's.

"it's okay. I deserved it for being annoying." Y/N shrugged

But Nancy was quick to shut it down.

"Never deserved to be yelled at like that. And you are not annoying." Nancy said, trying to look into Y/N's eyes.

"No, I am. I didn't leave you alone. I'm annoying and too much to handle. I wouldn't blame you for wanting to leave and have someone easier." Y/N ranted out, her eyes getting glossy.

Nancy could feel her own heart snapping, her eyes gripping Y/N's in a grip.

"Stop that. You are not annoying, or too much to handle. I think you are perfect and I love you. I wouldn't ever leave you. I don't want someone easier, harder, or anything. I just want you." Nancy said, getting off of her chair to kneel before her girlfriend

Nancy wrapped her arms around Y/N, smashing her face into Y/N's stomach.

"promise?" Y/N whispered, her hands playing with Nancy's curls.

"Promise" Nancy said, leaning up, hinting for a kiss. Y/N smiled and leaned down, connecting their lips.

[anonzentimes]

hi zen!! o/

i am coming into ur inbox purely to tell you thank you for making an effort to become more active about your interests despite being scared bc it kinda helped push me to do the same thing? and i’ve been doing it for the past few months and OHH my god it’s so scary but also i’m having crazy levels of fun and i probably would not be nearly as far along with it as i am bc i’ve seen you do the same thing. it’s really cool to me !! um so i’m Being Brave and sending you a little appreciation ask off anon bc it is 2 in the morning so i do not have the energy to be scared !!! and also i think it’s really really good to celebrate being authentic in our interests and such :3 so thank you <33

to include something on-theme with the blog um um i !!! am also a big nagito komaeda fan !! he’s my favorite little guy !! hajime too but in an “ough he’s just like me fr” way. i enjoy komaeda so much that i’m going to be playing him in my next dnd campaign and nobody knows it’s him except for my DM who is complicit in keeping it a secret from my party members >:] i want them to realize at some point mid-campaign i think it’d be really funny. also that same DM has made an npc who is secretly just izuru kamukura and i’m gonna get to have a romance arc!!! and i’m very excited about it :] MORAL OF THE STORY share your interests with your friends bc they’ll happily enable you lmao <3

ok that is all. have a nice day or night or afternoon \(//∇//)\

HELLO???? YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HEARTWARMING THIS IS AHHHHAHA <33 I'm so touched by the fact I can make a positive impact I'm really happy to hear it. I think unlearning shame or just becoming less anxious with even small things like interests is one of the best things you can experience in life, or at least it has been for me. It's really relieving and being able to just simply enjoy things is an entire major reason to live for me. It's sort of funny I never really expected or intended on having audiences, other than Youtube because well yeah, but I get attention for being authentic and unapologetically myself which apparently I've been told is contagious LOL. It's just kind of how I am and to know people can be positively impacted by that is really nice. I've always been like this but now I have the words to express myself and the mentality to not feel much shame or anxiety over it, again, it's incredibly relieving. Anyways, mostly just being sentimental and saying thank you for sending a little appreciation thing haha! I have trouble understanding I can have an impact sometimes, it's definitely a snap back to reality when something undeniable confirming my presence happens Lol.

HELP IT'S REALLY FUNNY TO ME THAT I SOMEHOW ENDED UP JUST MAKING THIS THE NAGITO BLOG.... IT WASN'T EVEN PLANNED I JUST CAN'T CONTAIN MY THOUGHTS... but I mean, guess that just goes to show how much he IS my thoughts lol. Anyways, totally agree Hajime's definitely a "oh he's so me fr fr" type of character and GOD. GOD I WOULD DO THAT IF I PLAYED DND TOO HONESTLY.... LMAOO THE IDEA OF GETTING STARTLED BY NAGITO IS SO FUNNY... a Romance Arc sounds really cute too!! I hope you have fun with it, sounds like a great experience! Sharing interests with friends is wonderful, and overall I think if loved ones don't enable your interests that's like a red flag to me a bit.

[shmowder]

I think that the reason why i’m attached to pathologic, especially daniil as a character, is because i’m disabled and chronically ill, so i’ve had a huge fear of doctors for literally my whole life. like. it seems backwards but really.

(slight cw for doctors and disabilities, a bit of a rant. you don’t have to answer this ask or anything if you’re not in the headspace to answer!! take care of yourself!!)

I see my own pain and fatigue both in the sand pest victims and also in the healers play-throughs, especially dankovsky because basically everything goes wrong for him or actively works against him to make things worse. playing as daniil and getting to be a know-it-all doctor (someone I would have been especially anxious around in the real world) but seeing his character put so much effort and care in to healing people who are sick really resonates with me and helped me be less anxious around some doctors (it’s still a deep fear, but we’re getting better haha).

like. in the marble nest he even speaks gently to the children, iirc.

his whole storyline also really helped me cope with spending so much of my life in a medical setting. hospitals make me extremely anxious, so instead I get to distract myself with this complex story and lore to make weekly appointments a bit less scary. when my symptoms are dismissed or when doctors are rude to me, I pretend that i’ll have one last imaginary appointment with a certain knowledgeable out-of-town doctor that recalls reading about a cure for my oddly specific symptoms. wow. almost like it’s a real illness! /s

I pretend that he’s a part of my medical team and doesn’t hold back when defending me against other “professionals” who don’t care enough to try or don’t believe me because “i’m too young to be disabled”. I imagine him snapping back at a doctor I had who said that my makeup made my face look wonky and weird. I imagine him giving me a pep talk before meetings with medical teams.

I appreciate how determined dankovsky is. nothing goes unnoticed. no data goes missing. he actually cares and wants to see a problem solved or at least remedied as much as possible. no stone goes unturned when it comes to pain relief.

to him, if a patient is still in pain after treatment, he needs to find a different diagnosis because clearly the treatment didn’t work earlier. no, the patient isn’t faking it. if they’re faking it, why does the pain look so real?

his own fight against death in the game even paralleled an experience I had at the time I really got into the game. my dog had passed away and he was like a service dog to me, it was the first real loss I had ever experienced and having a character mirror my emotions when dealing with death had really helped me cope and come to terms with it all. especially the marble nest storyline, when the fight against death was even more visually personified through the executors.

this character means so much to me. I find so much comfort in playing pretend with the prickly prick who is actually a really nice and caring doctor. and the imaginary/pretend doll games are ironic because of the “game of dolls” metaphor in patho classic.

when i’m having a flare up or panic attack, I just imagine that he’s sitting at my bedside, diligently taking notes on what i’m feeling, distracting me from my anxieties by teaching me a latin phrase or by telling stories, mumbling along as he reads from textbooks pulled down from shelves with information on my illnesses. it’s comforting to pretend that someone cares so much about my health that they would put a great amount of effort in to finding other solutions, even after multiple tries. it’s nice to imagine that someone is holding my hand and talking me through the process of what’s happening when I have a procedure. I like to pretend that someone is here with me to keep me company when I can’t move, or to notice my balance shaking when I might pass out, to carry me to a couch or bed before I faint, to have someone help me administer my medications and remember the correct doses and times to take them them.

most of all I like pretending that daniil is here with me to stay by my side and promise me that he’ll take the pain away. and daniil dankovsky is always a man of his word.

I know it’s all just wishful thinking, but I like that I can run back to an imaginary doctor who can heal any pain (or at least can lessen it, even temporarily). I like coping with life alongside daniil, I get to make sense of death through his experiences as well as mine.

there’s a lot of value in the x reader genre even though some people think it’s cringe or weird. this genre is what got me through more than five years of debilitating pain and fatigue. cringe is a made up concept lmao. your writing and the writing of others has helped me a lot, and i’m sure that many other people can say the same.

i’m so sorry for the long message! again, u don’t have to answer it or post it or anything if it’s too much bc I completely understand!! I just wanted to share some personal anecdotes about why I love patho and daniil and all that.

with lots of love, -🥀

You've explained it beautifully

Because Daniil really would! That's the thing, he never became a doctor for the money or prestigious, he truly was in it for the science, for healing people and making humanity better as a whole.

He founded Thanatica, he paved his own path in thanatology, weaved his own branch of research. Daniil wanted to cure humanity of death, All Death, indefinitely.

It's like someone being courages enough to fight the dragon head on, cut the problem from its source and put an end to this prolonged song and dance.

Stop borrowing time from death, coaxing it back and pretending that this is okay. that it's natural and can't be helped, that this is simply the cycle of life.

Much like our ancestors thought the sun was pulled by a chariot, Daniil is determined to make the view on death hold a similar notion to the future generations.

To unveil the monster and force everyone to look it in the eyes, to realise it was never invulnerable, that it too can be tamed much like the rest of nature.

The scientific method pure and simple, he took it to heart. He doesn't presume nor intuition his way into a cure, he works by solid facts, plausible theories and educated predictions.

He stays well informed no matter how ego bruising it is to constantly having to learn new things, knowledge is worth the price of staying humble for.

The man is the embodiment of pride yet he'll kneel and admit he is wrong for the chance to gather more knowledge and make things right, he doesn't care what it takes, he will get results.

All those traits are what make the ideal doctor, someone reliable you can trust to want to help you, someone who is clearly fighting by your side to make you feel better rather than simply arguing against you to prove nothing is wrong.

He wants to turn a novel concept into reality, the same way a child desperately wants the world to be fair, for justice and truth to prevail.

Dankovsky kept that side of him alive, carefully maintained that way of thinking, and didn't allow the cruel world to demean this naivety.

Until he was older, stronger, and very capable of following his words with actions. The respect granted to someone of his status and age forces the people around him to listen to his notions and take them seriously, it forces them to come to terms with their own ignorance.

He held the right ideas all along, but people care more for who's speaking than the word themselves.

You understand him, you truly do.

Because he will not rest until he gets to the bottom of a problem, until the last piece of the puzzle falls into place.

Oh, it becomes personal when he is faced with an anomaly of an illness. When the symptoms are there but the tests results claim negative, it means he needs to approach this differently and test for other things rather than throw the towel in like unreliable doctors who claim the paitent is just making things up.

In one of the P2 bachelor route posts, the devs mentioned a mechanic where Daniil breaks into a paitents' houses. As a routine everyday thing because he isn't satisfied with the limited tests and wants to gather more evidence or clues to figure out what ails them.

-

The fantasies that you described about him are the exact scenes I envision while writing him.

The sound of his fountain pen tapping and scratching against the paper, the clickly turn of the microscope wheel as he peers into the tissue sample below, the focused look on his face as he notes down every detail.

How cluttered his desk in the stillwaters is, how messy his room is in contrast to all the trouble he goes through to make himself look collected and pristine. Much like how messy his brain is inside in contrast to tidy shell and elegant clothes.

Daniil isn't masquerading as something he is not, he isn't adoring a posh facade, despite it all he still acts surprisingly down to earth. He tells Artemy to not worry about watching his language around him, he swears and he makes sarcastic lame jokes.

Daniil would rather join you on the floor without care for his clothes getting dirty if it meant you'll keep him company while sorts through the mess that is his bag, maybe tinker with the lense of his plague finder gear.

There is a sense of belonging with him, a sense of ease and comradery because you know that man will stop at nothing to help you.

Doesn't he volunteer himself countless times to do the bidding of others he deems more vulnerable than him? Without looking for a reward or anything, even when they're simply strangers.

Doesn't he subject himself to take the "test" pills rather than three clearly distraught women who were desperate to help in any way just because his conscience wouldn't allow him to stand by while someone suffers.

Even a snake's venom can be used to make medicine, even sharp fangs can be repurposed into thin fine needles that seamlessly pass through the skin without a hint of pain.

For someone like him to be good at heart, genuinely good at heart. He isn't looking for recognition or taking advantage of an opportunity to raise above despite what the initial impression of him make you think, he is the most determined and the most caring of all the healers.

He is the one outsider in this town, keep that in mind and yet he still cares so much about everything all the time. At least Artemy and Clara had stakes in the game, Daniil's risking his life for strangers and a town that insists on making his life a living hell, everyone mistrusts him or tries to use him to climb the social ladder or accumulate more power.

He was the only one truly looking to make a change.

Which is why it's so fitting to imagine him defending your case against all the doctors who aren't in medical care for the right reasons, who grew too jaded and overconfident, whose brains slowed down and grew stubborn and set in their ways.

If the Bachelor gives a wrong diagnosis, he'll march directly to your doorstep the next day in the middle of the night and demand another chance, taking full accountability for his mistake and asking to try again.

I know it's just filler sentences, but in P1, there are these lines the other healers' bounds say to you to singal the conversation won't progress more or that their role in your story is done.

For Daniil, when he keeps attempting to talk to the termites, they tell him they feel a headache coming in. And you know what he tells them? He takes their words seriously and advices them to eat quince, a fruit, natural remedy for headaches.

For example, Eva would tell Artemy she's waiting to meet someone, and he can say, "I think I know who," and it loops the more you try to talk to her.

He could've easily dismissed them or been like "You're too young to know what real headaches are" Hell he could've went the skeptical grown up route and just assumed the kids are trying to swindle painkillers from him.

But he doesn't, he never does. And that line is especially sweet and thoughtful when it comes after a bitter conversation or an argument with a rude child. That yes despite the person being a little shit, Daniil still doesn't want the kid to suffer in pain and gives them a free medical consolation, an advice to keep for future reference to ease their headaches.

He tries to heal, in every person he comes across he tries to rid them of pain and absorb it himself. In every place he goes he actually tries to leave it better than he found it.

A lot of Bachelor route quests start from you offering your direct help to someone, not the other way around where people ask you or demand you to help them.

It's you who volunteers each time! Daniil takes full agency in his actions, he is so nosy and involves himself in every problem if it means he can solve it.

I'm a person that faints a lot from seemingly nothing. Yesterday, I fainted twice and had to stay in bed because the light-headedness never went away. I can barely go places because I know I will faint and will need to urgently go home, showering by itself is a huge chore and I have to cut it into separate parts and take breaks because I feel my vision disappearing after like 5 minutes under the water.

Someone like Daniil would definitely help, even stay beside me in the bathroom while I shower just to keep an eye on my state, to pay attention to the symptoms when my hands start to shake and I blank at the wall and help me out and back into the bed instead of just dismising them and urging me to push through until I faint like the other doctors.

He wouldn't view nudity as sexaul at all. He wouldn't be timid or skittish when it comes to the human body.

Nothing deters his determination, and he will feel insulted if you assumed he'd be disgusted by anything natural.

There's beauty in someone putting effort into redundant mundane acts, that Daniil would carefully measure the liquid inside the needle and tap the air bubbles out each time with deliberate care before administrating it.

He never thinks these tasks are beneath him. He abhors doctors who look down on nurses or refuse to do "nurse tasks"

And it's poetic in a way, that even as a character, as a doll, a fictional concept, he is still helping being indirectly. It's truly the most Daniil trait of all things that his mere existence as a fantasy doctor actually heals and mends. He'd be immensely astonished by that notion, all the people which he granted a small relief, which he encouraged to keep going just by being himself.

-

I'm very honoured you entrusted me with this rose anon, it takes effort and courage to put yourself out there, to have faith in a stranger and share your experience and feelings with them.

I relate to your words a lot, I saw myself in between the lines. I imagine certian characters too helping me through rough days, sticking by my side through thick and thin.

Mostly Georgiy Kain these days because I feel like he'd be the only one who understands my thought process. It feels hard describing my art, even harder trying to explain scientific concepts I'm passionate about.

I tried to do that the other day, showing a person what absolutely mindblowing it is that we can predict higher dimensions if we use the second and third dimensions interactions as a frame of reference.

You can accurately guess what a 4D cube would look like just by looking at the process of 2D Square being turned into a 3D cube!

And I mean you, anyone! without the use of the Internet and without the need for any equations or mathematics knowledge. It's basic logic, and you only need your eyes, a paper, and a pen.

Actually the less you know about math the easier it will be; it's one of those situations where you need to unlearn certain things they taught you in school in order to comprehend it.

You need to forgo the status que, to forget the basics and the "obvious" You need to take the reigns back from auto pilot and force your brain to actually think, genuinely think about why and how a square is turned into a cube rather than just retrieve memorised information from your 4th grade teacher showing your class how to draw a 3D cube on the chalk board.

And I'm so passionate about these things! About general relatively and seemingly complex mathematics that are actually so so simple and obvious but the education system and first impressions completely altered people's views on these things.

I used to do it so much as a kid, excitedly explain the mechanics behind black holes and their formation, predictably the adults only chuckled and cooed condescendingly.

And now that I'm an adult and can be taken seriously, I try to share it with other adults only to find out NO ONE WANTS TO USE THEIR BRAIN. Everyone is happy just living life as it is and my thrist for knowledge is a one man journey.

It's disheartening really, i genuinely love these topics and I'm passionate about them. That's why I feel like someone like the Judge would actually get it! He would listen to me talk throughly, he would share his knowledge with me!

I used to have similar ideals about defeating death and achieveing immortality in my early teen years, actually unironicly had them and wanted to get into med school for it. I also wanted to get into genetic engineering to give humans wings.

No one took it seriously and unlike Daniil I wasn't strong enough to keep that fire going, my flickering candle got sqaushed by life alongside my hopes and dreams long ago.

That's probably why a lot of us relate to him and find comfort in him, in the man who beat the odds and didn't back down from life.

You learn about being cringe the hard way, about fitting in and other people's perceptions the hard way. You give up parts of yourself in order to be loved and find a community, it's wired into our brains.

It takes an active choice to go against your biology and all the warning sirens firing off that you're straying from the herd, crossing into dangerous territory, that deep down we are a social tribe, mammals who seek acceptance and validation from each other.

And Daniil did that choice. We only get to see the fruits of his labour, not the years of ridicule he endured during med school, not the way others must have antagonised him for daring to be different and hold strong opinions, not the many mountians he had to climb and hardships he had to overcome in order to even survive through teenagehood and actually get accepted into med school.

The man founded Thanatica, he created it into existence through blood and tears, he has earned every right to act a little proud and keep repeating the "Bachelor of medicine" title after every introduction after all that he had to go through to earn it.

It's so easy to dismiss him as self-centred and arrogant rather than determined and proud.

Only through seeing the world from his eyes and walking in his own shoes do you get why he did everything he did, you find no malice in his inner thoughts, you realise he has been truthful to you this whole time.

-

Please don't apologise for the long asks, I really appreciate them.

It's good to receive someone's articulated thoughts and have the chance to reply back with a long message of my own, it feels as intimate as a receiving and sending a letter back before the industrial revolution.

If it does take me a long time to reply, I do apologise. I answer the most recent asks when it's convenient for my schedule and by the time I get to the second most recent ask, a new one or three get sent in and the other asks get buried even deeper down.

I will get to answering them all eventually, I promise.

One thing tho, I do read them all, even ones I know I won't be able to answer rn. I check my inbox daily and read as much as I can. I mull over what to reply back with throughout the day and decide to get to writing it during the night.

I enjoyed this lovely conversation! Please do take care of yourself in this heat, make sure to drink plenty of water, I emptied like 4 bags of ice to make nice cold soda drinks with ah- I hope your day is amazing.

[linkita-chan-20053]

CONNECTION

It has been at least a year since Nero had found Evan, a lot has happened in between, one of them was confirming that the boy was indeed Dante's son and it was nice to have one more relative. A cousin, specifically, however it felt like having a younger brother.

Although, the happiness of being just the two of them quickly changes to anger, anxiety and above all… longing. Why?….

Dante and his father returned from the Underworld.

Then there was Evan. As much as Nero didn't want him to get involved in this whole shitty family mess, he also deserved to at least meet his father. What's worst of all?, sooner or later they'll have to see them both, beat the shit out of them, and then move on with their lives.

(He wasn't about to admit that he now somewhat understands Dante and his reasons for why he never told him about Vergil).

So… he had to approach this in a way that Nero doesn't bring out the worst in him, of course he wants to kick his - newly discovered - uncle and father's ass. But he'll do that later, when Evan is not around….

So, now both cousins are heading to Devil May Cry to pay them a visit…To Nero's delight, Evan decided to put on the hood of his sweater, so he wouldn't ruin the surprise he has for Dante (and for Vergil too).

And indeed, once entering Devil May Cry, the first to receive them is Dante.

"Nero! I'm so happy to see you again!" he exclaims, Nero was already ready to break his jaw again however he remembers that he has his 'little brother' behind him.

"Save that shit, Dante" says Nero, getting out of the hug his uncle was about to give him "You have a lot of explaining to do…"

"Ah… yes…" now the legendary hunter's smile turns into a slightly more guilty grin."

Although the conversation veered off course as soon as the twins became aware of the presence of the smaller one behind Nero. Nero feels his insides squirm with malice for the bombshell that was about to drop on them.

Nero steps aside, looking at the boy, still with his head down so his white hair wouldn't be given away to the older ones.

"You have a lot of explaining to do" Nero says again towards Dante "And not just about my father…" was the signal, now "You can take that off now" he tells to the boy. Evan nods and removes it, letting the white hair show in all its splendor. He looked up, flashing his blue eyes at Dante….

"What the f-…" mutters Dante.

" Hello… father" says Evan. Dante freezes at hearing that, in fact, he feels as if his own mind has just collapsed and he feels so much like fainting.

Perfect.

Nero folded his arms, and gave a hard look towards his uncle "Starting with him." Dante's eyes were so wide he thinks they would pop out of their sockets, Evan still kept his eyes fixed on his father "I found him a year ago, when I was cleaning up the streets of Red Grave." Nero places a hand on the boy's back "I couldn't leave him alone…" then frowns, with a death stare tell to him "Much less hide him about his family. Congratulations, you're a father now."

Dante snaps out of his stupefaction to return his gaze to his nephew, his composure quickly recovering to begin smiling.

"Haha, what a good joke, kid" says dante "You planned it well huh? You got me, good one!" he laughs, however, no one and I repeat, NO ONE was laughing. Which makes the smile falter again "haha, ha…. huh…. It's a joke, right?"

"Did I stutter?"" replies Nero again, his face as serious and as serious as it's ever been in years.

Dante's eyes land on the boy, he was STILL looking at him, maybe analyzing him, thinking or some other shit. The legendary hunter wanted to deny it outright. He never had kids, he always took precautions, this kid shouldn't be here.

But it seems his demon has other plans, his demon instantly howls, getting anxious, like a caged lion, wanting to embrace him, wanting to groom him, to impregnate his scent on the boy. His senses sharpened, especially his sense of smell, he could notice something faint…. A scent that said 'Dante' in all its splendor. And that scent came from the boy… No it can't be.

His demon had practically already confirmed his suspicion, despite the state of denial his humanity was in.

His demon was screaming 'Mine. My blood. My kin. Mine. Mine. MINE!'

"It's nice to meet you…" the boy's voice pulls Dante out of his thought spiral, the boy, Evan right? was offering him his hand. Maybe he realized his inner state of mind and wanted to take things cautiously….

Dante's demon can't help but cringe at such a… bland greeting. However, what can he expect now? HE HAS A CHILD AND DIDN'T KNOW IT, DAMN IT! 'Ok. Just take a deep breath. Concentrate for once and say hello to your offspring…. Ugh… it's so weird!'

"It's my pleasure, kiddo" Dante takes Evan's hand, in a greeting, formal and awkward. But it's the best they can have, until they can establish a better connection between them….

(Mainly so that his demon will shut up).

[tired-twili]

This is totally a rant post bcs I don't have a sane voice of reason in my life that I can go to for advice :) this is just me having strange "friends"

So yeah, if u didn't know I just graduated hs and yeah, teenagers can be pretty crazy. Most of these freinds I've had since young or early high school and they've been my "close freinds" the past couple of years. Ofc my fam loves them and all hence why I don't feel comfortable talking abt this to them, bcs they'll say I'm overreacting, which maybe I'm am 💀 I just can't take much more of this.

Anyways, it's not that I don't get a long with them, it's just I never rlly had much in common with them. Over the summer they all really want to go to concerts, festivals, ect ect together. I was on the fence abt these things bcs I often have anxiety attacks in crowded places, but I decided that maybe I'd go to one or something. Yeah no, for the concert they were trying to get me to go to it was abt 200 buck and I wasn't abt to pay that much just to have a miserable time. Ofc they were upset abt it but I felt embarrassed and didn't want to explain that I didn't want to go bcs of anxiety (which was on me tbh) but this is only one example but it rlly made me think that it's just not worth it to hang out with them?

I also got added to a snap group, with them in it and they were sending a bunch of vids hanging out. I wasn't rlly offended that I wasn't invited since it happens a lot, but I wasn't exactly happy to be spammed of notifs from them. Maybe this is just me but I don't rlly care to added to chats just to have to watch you all hang out without me? There was other girl in the chat that wasn't with them which makes me feel like it's less wierd, but?? Idk. It's complelty fine that they are, cus like I said, they like to go out and do stuff and it's not really my thing.

All in all I just,,,rlly don't like hanging out with them 💀 half the time it's not rlly fun and I end up going home with anxiety. I've tried to share some of my interests and it rlly hasn't gone over well haha. I introduced them to RE 8 on Halloween since they wanted to play a scary game. One of the girls said it was lame compared to the other game I showed them a differnt time (little nightmares 2 lamo) and they were on thier phones chatting ect for the rest of the night. Which I complelty understand that video games aren't for everyone and in no world do they have to enjoy it, but it still kinda hurt my feelings listening to her make fun of a game I rlly like and then them compellty do thier own thing (I had a blast tho I just played while they talked or whatever lmao). My one super nice freind tho said we should get together a differnt time and she genuinely seemd a bit interested but fjdjjsjs idk.

I do get a bit tired of being the "afterthought friend" but at this point I don't rlly care. I'm going to be heading off to college soon and I honestly don't want to keep in contact with them. They're have been a lot of other things like one of them not having respect for other people's time and stuff but that's a whole different topic.

By no extent are they toxic or anything, we just don't rlly get a long that we'll, ya know. I guess I'm just wondering if I'm being too quick abt wanting to distance myself from them?? Idk man

[echantedtoon]

Rules Of One's Soul Ch1 A Game Of Souls

Follow the story of the Duke of Puzzles as he tries to grasp the concept of soulmates. Simple right? Well, try having two soulmates, one crazier than crazy and the other too good for his own good. Well whomest knowest how this will turn out?

(WARNING!! PLEASE READ: Mentioning of past abuse in this story. Also Rouxls has a slight fear of touch, and anxiety attacks.)

What would you do if your job was to deal with a power hungry king who could snap at any moment? Quit? Haha! Only if thou wanted to end up in the dungeon or worse. But also that you were completly put in charge of something you had barely any knowlege of, forced to babysit a hyper mini king, and had to do whatever the king wanted at a moments notice any hour of any day. Oh! And this was all a 24/7 job. Congratulations. ......Being the duke was highly overrated but, nobility wasnt without sacrifice. Which was what he was ready to put up with when he agreed to first being the king's royal advisor. 

The king was always much of a brute, big, mean, and not afraid to show his displeasure for anything he didn't find to his liking. But at least the Queen always managed to calm him down-....Ah. Her highness- She was always such a caring and kind spirited lady. How she could possibly tolerate let alone love that big brute was a mystery in of itself, but then again he wasn't in any place to judge. Now was he? He was just the royal adviser(more like royal errand boy) to the king, but still he admired many things about her. Her courage, her endless kindness,....her beauty-...*ahem* Anyways, things were going well in thine kingdom for a while. Sure the constant nagging and intimidation of the king would get tiring but he was used to constant pressure from higher ranking people. The other three kings and queens were much more pleasent to be around, sometimes the neighboring Durrmee Royal family would visit. The Spades even eventually announced the coming of their soon to be child after a while...Huh. It seemed like everyone was starting to settle down it seems. 

Unfortuneatly nothing like this lasted forever-

Everything changed the day the knight came. The Queen disappeared. The king went mad! The former kings locked away, the neighboring kingdom attacked, the foutain appearing, and the king slowly descending into more....destruction. The poor prince. He didn't deserve any of this. Noone deserved any of this actually. It seemed madness spread to others as well. Not too long after the jester was caught trying to slay an innocent bystander and was locked within the safest cell constructed. Not too long after that the royal magician quit along with some of the other staff...or thrown in the already crowded cells. But it didn't make any difference to him. He just had to keep on smiling and agreeing for his own sake. 

Day after day. Smile n agree. Smile n Agree.....Hopefully nothing bad happened. 

But enough rambling about his past. You dear readers are here to read the tale of his future are you not? Well then. It all began with one scared rudinn on one rainy night-

The rain had been pretty aweful this season. It only lasted a week or two, but it was always pretty dull to watch. Luckily he had been given of paperwork by his majesty to last hours to keep him occupied! Isn't his majesty so consideret? ..*ahem* anyways- He was swamped with paperwork, which was why he jumped when a knock came from the large wooden door. He obviously flinched and looked at the door. After a few more moments of silence, a timid voice finally broke it:

"...Uh..Sir D-Duke," a male voice sounded muffled by the door, "C-C-Can I come in? W-We have a uh-....s-small problem."

The blue duke let out a small sigh of relief it wasn't who he intiatlly thought it was and gave a small smile. "Of courseth. Cometh in soilder."There was another pause, before the door creaked open and said rudinn soilder stuck their head in. The Duke smiled assuringly before waving his hand in a come in motion, to which the rudinn seemed comfortable enough to slither in on his command. "Noweth. What caneth I do for thou this-"...He paused before looking at the clock on the wall. Good golly is was already almost midnight. "...Night?"

The rudinn hesitated at first, wringing his hands together and shaking slightly. Even though Rouxls was a much better boss than the king was, he still had to report every progress TO the king and that's why most were nervous when it came to giving the daily reports. "W-Well Sir bossman. Sir. U-Um...I came t-to deliver the day's r-report?"

The duke stared at him. "Now? Tis nearly thine next day. Why hast thou come to deliver it so latest?"

The rudinn shrank more. "Well...T-That's the problem,Sir Puzzle man. Um....We're h-having a problem w-with one of the prisoners? " Rouxls's confusion must've reflected on his face because the rudinn winced. "It's the um....J-Jester, S-Sir."

"Oh..Him." The mad jester was always troublesome. Ever since his capture and imprisonment, he's always found new ways to scare the guards. Babbling about how the King was merely using them all as pawns like in a game, or howling about chaos or something. He never really recalled the jester much, purple jolly fellow, always getting into trouble. Ounce put green hair dye in his shampoo bottle as a prank-.....He'd never forget that, his hair was an ugly green for a month. The guards were pretty freaked out by him, but he didn't see the big deal as long as we was behind bars. "So what thou's problem?"

"Um.....H-He's acting....really strange tonight. L-Like..r-really freaky. And uh....No one w-wants to give him his food."

"Well, then thy answer tis simple really. Let him go hungry. Maybe that willst teaches him a lesson about his behavior."

The rudinn looked even more distressed if possible. ''Um...We kinda can't? The King's d-doing his w-w-weekly insp-p-pection tomorrow, Sir. A-And he gets r-really angry when I-it's not done."

Rouxls froze at those words. Weekly inspection...? oh no- HOW COULD HE HAVE FORGOTTEN?! Well- He has been swamped in paper work for the last few hours, so he guessed he could've forgotten,, but the king wouldn't take his excuse. His body began to shake lightly from the memories of the king's anger. Teeth bared, claws out, pain on his face- He immediately shook his head and looked back to the Rudinn with a stern face.

"W-Well getest someone down there and feed him something!"

"W-We can't."

"Why not?"

"N-No one wants to go down there, b-but we don't want to see the k-king mad either so..Um...W-We were hoping YOU would do it?"

They stared at each other, before Rouxls groaned and moved his eyes down to the mountain of paperwork that STILL needed to be finished before tomorrow. Too many things were always thrown at him weren't they? But...he was always used to bearing the brunt of the hard work, might as well go do it and get it over with. What could've been so hard about feeding one prisoner?

He sighed and reached a hand up to run through his white hair. "Fineth. Just..telleth me where I can findest this 'freaky'prisoner thou speakest of?"

***********************************************************************************************

DING!

The duke made an obvious flinch when he felt the elevator stopped and made the comical dinging noise. He certainly wasn't expecting the sudden darkness greeting him when the doors opened up, luckily there were torches along the side of the darkened staircase that lead down into...well, he guessed the cell, but this seemed a little extreme for one prisoner. Maybe a suitable punishment for the king- He shook his head and meekly leaned his head out a bit to peer past the darkness. He couldn't see anything except barely the stairs and what looked like bars maybe? But he didn't see or hear any evidence of anyone down there? Perhaps this Jevil person was sleeping? Made no difference to him. That just means it'll be easier for him. Taking a deep breath, he slowly stepped out of the elevator and onto the stairs. ..Nothing! Sighing, he straightened up his back and made his way down more confidently. There was nothing to worry about. Rudinns always worry too much anyways, getting him to do all the work when he already had so much to do. He muttered to himself irritatedly, nothing made him more irritated than being interrupted in the middle of work. This would take all night at this rate.

The poor duke failed to see the small shadow stirring in the darkness below, or the two small yellow dots that peeked out at him curiously. The yellow pupils blinked up at him from the dark, and a fanged smile slowly grew across his face. OH! A new visitor! Different from the usually rudinns or occasional hathy who usually just dropped his food off and left as quickly as they could, quite rude not to say hello. But THIS one-

The worm's biolumeniscent hair shone in the dark and sparkled as he walked down the stairs towards him, a scowl on his face. He muttered some things under his breath he couldn't quite make out, but that didn't ,matter to him. It'd been so long since he'd seen a new face, though he looked very familiar....Hey. Wasn't this person the prince's babysitter or something? Oh! Wait a second. It was the funny fellow called Kaard wasn't it. Yes. Rouxls kaard. Biggest stick in the mud other than the spade. He chuckled lightly remembering the many pranks he used to pull. Always had this serious aura around him. No fun that one. 

This was going to be fun! 

He held what looked like the usual mush of food he was given to eat, no doubt to deliver it like the rest, but the way he looked so done with life already- It was too hilarious! He finally let out a stream of high pitched giggles at the sight, just as the duke was bending over to set the tray down by the bars. Making the worm freeze and drop the tray the last few inches to the ground with a clatter. He stared directly into the cage where to his horror, two yellow pupils were staring only a few feet away. The two silently stared at each other until one spoke.

"Well, well. A new visitor, visitor to my little freedom!" The pupils blinked. The voice behind it sounded a little too pleased to be seeing him. "What brings you all the way down, down?"

The worm didn't say anything. So when the pupils suddenly sprinted at him, he yelped and slammed his eyes shut for cover. ….When nothing happened, he slowly reopened them, but he wished he hadn't. Because staring at him a feet or two from his face was the purple imp from his faint memories, but  he never remembered him being so terrifying! When he still didn't answer, the imp hummed.

"What's the matter, matter? I got your tongue, tongue silly man? BWAHAHA!"

"..duke.."

He paused. "Hmm. What was that?"

"I-I-..." The duke licked his lips nervously. A few sweat beads of slime ran down his obviously frightened looking face. "It's D-Duke to t-t-thou, P-Peasant."

The thing cooed. "Oh. I see you've obtained a title.Hehehe." Somehow he shifted his body to lay on his side in mid air, with his head in his hand. "A title is just that, that. A silly little thing to call yourself, yourself.~...But now that begs a question. What brings the duke, duke to my humble little freedom? Freedom."

The duke was still obviously still frozen with fear with his eyes wide as plates, but confusion still seeped it's way into him. Freedom? He calls being in a cell in the middle of the dark feet under ground for years free? He really was mad wasn't he? He really should get out of there soon, but the fact this crazy person was still staring at him like prey was quite unsettling- Wait. He asked something right? Why he was down there?

"I-I...T-Thou has scared m-mine workers into not giving thee substance...*ahem* W-With t-t-thine king checking p-p-progress tomorrow, I-I can't afford m-mistakes."

The floating man hummed and it finally accured to Rouxls that he was balancing on his tail. What oddity is he? "What would one little me, me do to anger such a man?"

…..Rouxls blinked. Certainly not the question he was expecting, but- "Art thou insane? Doth thee knowest what thine king w-w-will doth to mineself if thy rules are not followed accordingly?!"

The jester merely shrugged. "I haven't the faintest idea,idea. But life is too chaotic without the stress, stress of trying to follow all of HIS rules, rules. Now isn't it?"

"On thine contrary. I wouldst rather keepest mine head on mine shoulders than to risk displeasing his majesty. Following the rules is needed on a daily basis."

At that he let off more high pitched cackling. "After all these years, years he still has the pieces of his never ending cruelity, cruelity. *tch* And they say Im mad and foolish."

"Thoust tried to killeth thine king. Of courseth he woulst locks thee up like the traitor thou are!" The fear was slowly starting to be replaced with annoyance at the feind. "I have wasted enough of mine time here. "He slowly leaned back up to a standing position. Thou haseth thine food, perhaps you'd be wiser than to scareth off thine food supply. Or else starve to death."

His ears perked up. "Is that a threat I hear oh duke?~"

"Taketh it how thou wants to! Im nay afraid of a mad fool trapped behind bars of coldst steele."

"Is that so?" His eyes lit up with an unknown glee. ''Well, then how about a little numbers, numbers game?The rules are simple to play, play?~"

Rouxls gave him an even more annoyed look. He had important work to do and this fool wanted to play games. "Nay! I haveth no time for your idotic foolishness- EEEEE!"

A death grip had wrapped his wrist and attatched to it was the smiling lunatic with a gigantic grin, which only grew hearing the Duke's squeal and the way his confidence has easily been returned to fear.

"Oh, come now, Duke.~ It's simple really. All you have to do is run while I count how long your-"

Rouxls let out a squeak as a pulsation ripped through their bodies and simaltaniously pulled his hand away from the equally startled imp, who's tail pulled him back a few feet  and his eyes widened at the sudden feeling. Rouxls's soul thumped hard against his chest to the point he thought it was going to burst from his chest, then as suddenly as it came it left and his soul slowed down and his lungs heaved out. Rouxls stood there. Blinking. 

D-Did he...Did he just have a soul attack? B-B-But then, where was the pain? HE should've been flopping on the ground like a fish. Maybe an anxiety attack? Nay. Those never felt like electricity was surging through him. 

It must've been a giant zap of static cling. 

The two just stood there as the effects wore off and slowly looked at each other. Jevil was the first to move as he slowly looked down at his paw, his button eye spinning. He stared at his paw for a moment before closing it and giving Rouxls a wide eyes look. Rouxls could see the blue shape of his soul slightly from under his clothes as it faded away....Ok. Weird side affects for static cling.

"You?" The voice brought Rouxls back to Jevil as he blinked in confusion. 

"I-I..I what?"

Jevil didn't seem to notice he said anything and instead look back down at his hands in pure confusion. "I didn't think I'd ever see the day, day...and with someone so...opposite, opposite!" 

He turned back to the kaard with a newfound glee on his face. That spooked and confused him to no end. In one swift moment, the thing lunged at the bars and reached a clawed hand out. ROuxls obviously yelped and tried to back away but the clawed hand caught onto the front of his shirt. With a hard yank, the duke was slammed against the bars and once again a spike of absolute terror washed over him. Yellow eyes looked at him. What he didn't know was that Jevil was drinking in every detail of his face. He never noticed but the duke seemed to have dawned a few scars to his otherwise flawless features, must've been a fight or two. He surely was a fascinating one wasn't he? Oooh! He could feel his soul lighting up with this new found

"How marvelous, marvelous! A new player and game, game!" Genuine excitment rang through a genuine happy smile, though the terrified Rouxls didn't seem to notice. His soul beat against his check a mile a minute! He could burst from what he purseived as fear any second, not that jevil noticed. "Ehehehehe! So this is where it all begins, begins! "

He HAD to get out of there! He pulled his head back and got his arms up ready to shove this pest off himself- He froze. Something wet slid against the side of his cheek and he gave off a high pitched whine. His body shook lightly-

And then he thrashed uncontrollably. His brain having one goal. GET AWAY FROM HIM! Jevil was taken aback and loosened his grip on the blue man. The duke fell backwards and instantly began to shuffle back-

"Wha- Hey! Wait, wait!"

He didn't listen. Stumbling and desperately trying to breath, he ran back up the stairs towards the elevator and into it. The up button was spammed practically into nothing and the similar ding noise was heard as the doors slowly closed off the darkness. As the machine shifted as it slowly went up, the duke  collapsed against the side wall and slid down to the floor breathing heavily.

What the actually f*ck was that?!

…………………...……...……......……...……...…...…......………............…...…...…...…...…...…..................…...……......……...…...……………......………...…...…...

He shouldn't have done that. He shouldn't be doing ANY of this. What would one think if they knew that the King's appointed Duke of Puzzles, caretaker of the prince, and master of law and order would be feeling absolutely weak in the presence of an insolent clown?! NO! He wasn't weak! Rouxls Kaard was anything but weak. He was just....uh..a little unprepared for the absolute madness of the knave when they first encountered. Yes. That's it! Not even the great Duke of Puzzles could get all first impressions right. 

He wasn't sure of the strange feeling in his gut whenever his mind revolved around back to THAT night. The strength of those ghastly hands latching onto him and slamming him into the cold steel, near those sickly glowing eyes. The very thought of those things made him shudder and get a sick feeling in his stomach. In a way, he was more terrorfying than thy king. At least with him you could tell when the Spade was displeased in anyway, but there's no feeling behind a mad man's smile. So. The answer to recovery was to just avoid the place and do his best to push those thoughts deep down and try to distract himself.

And for a while. It actually worked.

He managed to busy himself by making an actual working piece of his work the king seemed pleased with. He called it, A Control Crown. Though it still could use some work as it only worked on more...um. Less smart beings of the realm. And the King's annoying worm(but much better company keeper) of a son had gotten himself into plenty of shenanigans the Duke had to fix or pull him out of. It had been maybe a few months since the incident and he rarely thought of any of that encounter. So all was well with the Duke of Puzzle. Thou the duke did experience a strange tugging or nagging feeling like he was missing something. Oh well. None of it mattered.

At least. Not until that night.

A storm had decided to make itself present that night much to the annoyance and fear of the guards. For it was tonight that the prisoner better who some had called Jevil -odd name if you asked him- once again decided now would be the right time to act up and strike fear into the poor guards in charge of the food supply to him. Which also meant none wanted to go down there. Which ultimately meant the duty would fall on the next upper person in charge.

.....Which meant it was up to him. To settle things. And go down there. With that THING!

He honestly almost threw up the mac and cheese Lancer and himself ate for lunch when he found out. But he was the Duke of Puzzles, appointed by the King himself. Law keeping was one of his best assets, which was why he was put in charge of these guards. So, with a heavy stomach and light head, he assured any listening he'd once again take care of the 'little worm' and put a stop to this all. Oh,if only he could have seen the familiar frozen grin plastered on his face at the moment. It only got worse when he stepped into the elevator and pushed the button to the unknown level.

Once the doors closed, the Duke let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and immediately reached to clutch at the tufts of shiny snow white hair on his head. 

"What the f*cketh have I done?!" He breathed between gasping breaths. He wasn't even sure how stupid he was at this point! Why didn't he just tell them to let the stupid prisoner go hungry just for tonight and not bother!? This was absolute madness. Like kicking a live bee nest to anger the pathetic insects-

Bing!

"HA!" The Duke let out a short high pitched squeak of fright from the doors reopening to reveal the beginnings of a staircase and darkness below. He hoped no one heard him. A high pitched series of laughter ruined that hope.

"Oh, how fun,fun! A Duke of no suit has come once again, again to seek what he thinks he rules over!" He flinched when he faintly saw two glowing pinpricks from down below. "How interesting, interesting.~ Have you come to finally play, play?~"

He stood there frozen at the sight of yellow eyes waiting for his answer. The feeling of that insolent's slimey tongue grazing his cheek and the feeling of complete helplessness came rushing back to him in a heart beat. Gathering what pride and dignity he had left, the Duke casually stood straight up and gave an annoyed look. He tried to invision himself talking to a rookie guard or Lancer whenever he had to explain something. He just had to remember. HE was the one in charge. Not some bumbling knave that couldn't even harm him from his prison all the way down below.

"I-It has cometh to mine attention that thou art scaring the very guards that feed you!" He shouted down and waited for a response. But none came. The eyes didn't even blink. So he nervously licked his lips and continued. "If thou wishes to keep getting proper treatment from them in the future then thou needs to follow the rules set in place."

Felling a little more confident. He decided to yell louder. He was in charge. Not him. He had no control over the situation. He made the rules.

"Thou art getting on mine nerves and I do not wish to heareth about thine useless chatters or antics! I haveth no time to deal with thee any longer! I have more important matters to deal with than the rambles of an absolute mad man!! So keepest thine voice down and cease your useless shenanigans at once!!"

His voice echoed throughout the silent prison as the yellow eyes continued their silent watching. Rouxls stared down at the lowlife a little longer before smiling. That was until the pinpricks disappeared as the crazy fool threw his head back in laughter at the stupid show he just witnessed. Rouxls felt his ears press to his sides and his stomach drop hard. This wasn't the reaction he had hoped. All too soon the eyes were back along with a mocking voice.

"What a shame! What a shame! Thinking he could order the only one free, free in the whole kingdom!~ How amusing!~ How fun!! FUN!!~" Rouxls didn't like the change in tone of the deranged jester's voice. It almost sounded intrigued. And that's what scared him most. "I never had so much fun,fun with another pawn before! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!! Tell me Rouxls Kaard. If you are in charge, charge then why are you too afraid to play this little game, game of yours?~ Hmm." 

The Duke didn't say anything at first. The heavy scent of fear consuming him and making his head spin.

"I.....I shan't need to e-explain myself to the likes of you! I prefer not to waste mine valuable time on dealing with your insolent empty words. Thou can pretend with thine mind games all thee wishes but Rouxls Kaard is nay fool!" He pointed a hand at him. " For you see, I have thought of the possibility of thou using these games to trickest me into coming in range of your dastardly grip! But I shan't be fooled again so easily! For by me staying far from thine's hold then thou shall not have a open point to strike! Who's winning who's game now if thou never even got a chance to make his first move?!"

"Yet, yet I'm not the one who's playing dirty.~ What fun is a game if one wins just because, because he cheats out of fear?~"

"Hark thee little knave!!" He bellowed in absolute anger like he just threw dirt on his new suit. "What rules are laid down is followed and I shan't listen to you any longer!" He turned back towards the entrance to the elevator with a huff.

The voice cooed in amusement. "BWAHAHA! A shame that the rules card is running like a defeated child,child at a game of checkers.~ My next visitor will be pleased, pleased to hear about the cowardly leader of a Duke that masters, masters over them!~"

He froze. Did he just-...? No. He couldn't have just....But he did! Taking a breath, the duke world around to face the yellow eyes with anger. 

"Thou insolent, foolish WORM!!" He bellowed at the top of his lungs. Making the jester laugh again as the duke began to march towards the stairs in complete anger that his authority would be tested by a common criminal. As he stomped his way down, he remembered to keep his distance with time when he reached the bottom. Now face to face with the clown behind the bars. Even with his limited vision, he could make out the jester's pleased smile on his face. "You DARE to threaten me with useless rumors of mine reputation?!"

"Hehehe. Not a threat and not, not a rumor.~ Just facts straight and simple.~ But now that you're her, here-" The bells on him errily chimed as he tilted his head. "I find you're more fun, fun to play with.~ Tell me, tell me. Did you figure out the game, game we started last visit?"

Rouxls huffed. "You mean that useless asult on mine person? BAH! I refused to even think about such things to do with the likes of thou, Jevil!"

A sudden spark seemed to light up in the jester as his attention became a bit more...focused.

"Ooh!~ So you learnt my name, name?~ BWAHAHA! Tell me, oh Duke of rules and puzzles. Have you any idea of what YOU have started with this game, game of ours you triggered? Are not the feelings and tugs at your very, very core not clues to this puzzle you can't seem to solve?~"

The duke gave the madman a confused look at the nonsense he was spouting out of his mouth. Was this a battle of wits or riddles? If so he won either way. He didn't intend on ever coming back or giving this creature any more of his precious time after this. What was the point if he never made sense anyhow?

"Was does thou even mean? This is nay puzzle! Tis a riddle of a mad fool that shan't ever be solved!"

"Hmm. Perhaps. Perhaps. But tell me this Duke, and tell me true. True." A hand stuck itself out of the bars to point at him, making him flinch. "Did you not have a feeling of need,need or incompletion when you first left this place, place!? Is it now gone?! Replaced with the need to prove yourself! To, to the very person you can never win or lose against in this corrupted. CORRUPTED EMPIRE YOU CALL HOME, HOME!!" 

It felt like the walls and darkness themselves were vibrating with the booming voice of the smaller floating man. Rouxls couldn't even bring himself to speak and Jevil's smile suddenly became knowing instead of amused.

"THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN REALLY PLAY A GAME!! GAME!! THAT MATCHES YOUR VERY OWN!! ROUXLS KAARD!! OUR FIRST MEETING, MEETING WAS NEVER OUR LAST!! THE VERY MOMENT WE MADE CONTACT, CONTACT IT SEALED US AND FATE INTERTWINED WITHIN MY FREEDOM, FREEDOM AND YOUR IMPRISONMENT!! THE BEING OF PERFECT ORDER AGAINST THE TRUE EMBODYMENT OF RAW CHAOS!! CHAOS!!"

The last word felt like a wave of sound hit him and sent the duke stumbling forward a few steps almost falling to his face before he looked up at the absolute monster clutching the bars in absolute raw horror.

"You....You're absolutely mad!!"

Jevil chuckled again. "Maybe that's true. Maybe I am insane. Insane. But I am truly the only free, free person....But you know. It's gotten rather boring,boring and dare I saw lonely in my little freedom. Duke of puzzles. I haven't really, really felt like anyone but my old friend Seam could begin to make me this amused, amused." Maybe his insanity was rubbing off onto Rouxls but he could've sworn he saw Jevil's smile slipping a little. "I will always regret happened between us, us. But, it seems fate has directed you towards me, hmm?"

"What?....I-I...I still haven't the faintest idea thou is sputtering out!"

"Heh. You still don't get, get it do you, Rouxls?" He gave a hum and might have sounded like a disapproved parent if he wasn't still smiling though me. "Interesting, interesting. Tell me. Do you know the concept of soulmates?~"

Silence.

The frozen duke stared at the floating creature inside the cage as his brain tried to process this. Yes. He knew what a soulmate was. What an absolutely stupid question. Everyone knows a soulmate is the one person in life you feel compelled towards. Like finally putting the final missing piece of a puzzle together-.....Wait.

Wait a minute.

The realization must've reflected in his eyes because Jevil's smile became more soft if that was even possible for a mad man. 

".....No...NO! Nononononononono! NO!!" He hands flew up to clutch his head. The floor felt like it was consuming him with how much his body fell forward to it's knees. "NO! NO! THOU TIS LYING!! MORE MIND GAMES!!" He shouted desperately at the jester who just smiled warmly back, like he was a dear old friend stopping by to grab a chat. His eyes searched for any indicators of mind games or a sick joke. "I...I can't anything to you but a toy for your amusement! Let alone thou's s-soul....IT"S NOT TRUE! I SHAN'T HEAR OF IT!! LIES!! ALL OF IT LIES-AH!!"

The same strength pressed him against the same bars. And the once proud duke whimpered like a dog when facing the same eyes from his nightmares.

"Naïve, naïve little duke." His voice was like he was trying to comfort a child and Rouxls let out a whimper when a clawed hand cupped his chin. His face was closer now. Why wasn't his body reacting!? He could feel the hot breath of the jester before he spoke next. "One cannot deny the rules, rules set down by fate now. Can you?~ We balance and do our dance, dance like chest pieces on a bourd. One never belonging to a suit, suit or getting the upper hand. But...we never lose, lose either.~"

The contact was warm, heated and made the duke feel a sudden rush of strange belonging filled with another stronger feeling of throwing up. Both feelings intensified when the crazy jester slightly loosened his grip on the frozen man's shoulder when something that felt strangely similar to a rope wrapped around his torso. Jevil didn't notice the white shiny liquid beginning to sting the duke's eyes or the sudden swing until something came impacting into his face. The force sending the smaller man a few feet away to the ground with a loud "OH!". Instantly when the contact was broken the duke threw himself back onto his rear and shuffled back towards the stairs. Gagging and clutching at his chest. Trying his dammed hardest not to give in to the urge to puke. A slight pain throbbed in his hand from where it struck the jester. 

He coughed and sputtered while taking gulps of air through his mouth to help control himself. A small silence went by before the duke shakily looked at the direction of the man who had once again violated his personal being. At first he thought he was imagining it through the tears or the rushed feelings spiked through him, but no. Jevil was standing there instead of floating. One hand clutching the bars while the other cupped the cheek he guess he must've hit. A look of pure shock on the jester's face. Of the ounce proud man now reduced to a shaking crying mess. 

Neither said anything for a moment before jevil spoke.

"You're....crying. Crying?" He blinked and removed the hand from his cheek to inspect it. Like the answers were written on his palm. "You...hit me, me?"

"WELL WHAT DID THOU EXPECT YOU GOD DAMMED FOOL!?!?" Both flinched at the sudden raged tone that seemed to rush out of him. Jevil more than him. But the angry feelings overtook any other rational thoughts. "DID THOU SERIOUSLY THINK UP THIS WHOLE CRAZY DELUSIONAL F-FANTASY OF ROMANCE TO GO ALONG WITH YOUR PATHETIC TRAGETY STORY LIKEST SOME SICK NOVEL WRITTEN BY A COMMONER!?!?" 

Jevil stared long and hard before an annoyed expression came over him. "Fantasy, fantasy?.....DELUSIONAL TO MY OWN FEELINGS!?" He growled and gripped the bars of his caged prison. "YOU DARE SIT THERE, THERE AND CALL ME, ME A FOOL FOR RECONGNIZING THE PLAIN TRUTH WHEN NO ONE ELSE DOES, DOES?!"

This time it was the duke's turn to give a dry laugh. "HA! YOU CALL WHAT JUST HAPPENED A TRUEST EVENT!? AND YOU ACTUALLY EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THOU'S GESTURE LIKE A NORMAL DARKNER'S?!"

Jevil's face immediately dropped. Rouxls sat there as both heavily breathed from the events. Before the duke slowly stood up onto wobbly legs.

"E-Even...if I did think thou's affections were true, what reason would I have t-to accept or believe when the person who gives it is a prisoner? Seam was in his righteth mind to exit this madness when he did-"

A low growl directed him back to the now angry jester. Anger was a new expression for him but right now he didn't care. Rouxls felt sick, covered in sweaty slime and tears, and equally angry. 

''Don't bring Seam, Seam into this."

"Or what!? Thou'll attack me with more unwanted affection! This isn't exactly a splendid walk in the dungeon foreth me!"

The imp let out another growl before pointing another clawed hand at him. "You cannot, cannot tell me you can't feel-"

"I DON'T!!" The loud voice of the duke echoed throughout the entirety of the prison cell. Silencing anymore rambling from either end. "I tire of these useless antics a-and....AND I HAVETH ENOUGTH ON MINE PLATE AS TIS IS!!" He pointed a hand at him. "I SHAN'T EVER RETURN TO DEAL WITH THOU'S ANTICS AND I WILL NEVER SEE YOU AS MORE THAN THE ONE WHO TOILS WITH MINE EMOTIONS!! GOOD MORROW, WORM!!"

He turned and began stomping his way back up the stairs towards the open doors of the elevator. Ignoring the sudden expression on the imp's face.

"W-What?....ROUXLS!! You can't leave a game unfinished once you start to play, play!! It hasn't even finished!...R-Rouxls? Y-You can't forfit this game, game.....Not when I-...COME BACK, BACK!!"

He paid the creature no mind while he continued climbing up the stairs-...Which was a mistake.

An animalistic shriek pierced the air louder than anything he ever heard from the king. A shudder ran up his spine and only one thought shot through his head.

RUN!

He sprinted towards the exit up ahead. Almost tripping over his own two feet a couple times in his panicked haste to get out. Something whizzed by his head and embeaded itself into the wall above his form as more began whizzing past him. The animalistic screaming still present. One of the thing grazed his shoulder causing him to yelp in pain as a cut instantly formed. He ran into the elevator and practically spammed the up button as more of those sharp objects continued to fly around him. The doors slowly closed. Muffling the shrieking and little metallic thuds. Slowly, the elevator began to steadily rise leaving the noise behind him. 

Unable to withstand the wild roller coaster of emotions moving through him, Rouxls collapsed against the side of the elevator as it continued to rise. His body shook uncontrollably as he was finally able to take a look at the things that were flung at him.....Hearts. These things were all hearts. He choked. 

The once proud Duke of Puzzles reduced himself to a sobbing crying mess as the elevator continued to rise.

[castlebyersafterdark]

see now im really interested in you watching horror films a lot. not sure if this has been discussed before. as a romantic creative myself, too, i am much too weak for horror films. even the mere imagined idea of some monsters that have been described by friends in films they've seen can be powerful enough to cause me a nightmare and i wake up genuinely sweating, as scared as a child.

love the idea of being able to appreciate horror, long term life goal, but im a long way off. one of my friends who loves it says the best way is to watch films that are straight up Good Films, not just Good Horror Films (such as the exorcist, the others, rosemary's baby, carrie). I still think my imagination would do more work than the film itself though - i could probably get through and appreciate it, but it's the weeks (and months and years, sporadically) afterward where i'll have disturbed thoughts and sleep that puts me off! it just seems like a lot of work. i'd rather watch something that makes me think or cry, something cerebral and deep, or some romcom if im in a silly mood.

so yeah. as someone who says their imagination runs wild, i'm just interested in how watching horror doesnt affect your day to day / anxiety / constitution etc. i suppose you could say that you know it isnt real, but as we all know from schlepping around this blog with all our foah goss, the mind often doesnt care what's real or not haha

Two for one re: horror movie discussion!

It's a little complicated for me? Yes, I very much am someone who does get swept up in things, overly imaginative, very sensitive and emotional. I'll say, the type of horror I prefer most does tend to be a little elevated? Maybe? The story compels, the idea is really interesting. I like the engaging heightened emotions for that reason.

I think a difference between us, dear topic presenters, is maybe my enjoyment of the upset sometimes, being disturbed, the catharsis of experiencing a film and then the credits roll and you are pulled back to reality. I remember specifically the first time I watched Hereditary (which is one of my favorite movies in general) standing up and pacing the room and my entire body felt tense. It just got to me, I was disturbed and excited over how it played out and images and ideas in the film wouldn't shake from my brain. I like art that moves, even in shocking or unpleasant ways. Because my brain also rationalizes that it's not real. And both of these things at once make it pleasant rather than traumatic. Oooh Nope is another good example. So much of that movie physically paralyzed me as I watched and I couldn't do much else after I watched it and then I snapped back and immediately wanted to see it again. I can still think of things in that film and can remember how I felt the first time I watched it and my skin shivers. And it's an amazing feeling, to be that effected. I don't know.

Well. I do know. Horror makes me feel things. Good horror. Yeah, I certainly have fun with some of the campier, dated horror films. I have an interest in how filming works and practical effects are really cool to see, and even some gross out stuff it's so, well - I can tell it's not real so I'm not as affected, though there are times when I feel squeamish and look away. Doesn't really emotionally warp me though. Gore grosses me out, plain and simple. I don't want to be revolted in horror. I want to feel.

I like being scared when I know it's safe. It's a way to engage my brain in a different way, since I get so lost. I guess my fear response isn't truly totally engaged - like I know it's not real. Maybe in that way you could argue that I'm not completely lost in these stories - but to me I feel like I am. I just do know... I can switch it off eventually. I enjoy the fear because I can go in and out of it. Does that make it fake fear? Hmm. Maybe a lot of it is the control. When you're anxious in your day to day about so many things you have no control over - the emotions experienced from engaging with a piece of media of any type that's going to elicit a big emotional response is a controlled situation. Possibly. For me at least. I chose to watch this. I chose to engage with being disturbed or fearful. And I like the feeling. A little messed up. Or not.

Limits, limits. I don't particularly like watching torture. I don't like hearing people scream too much for long periods of time. It emotionally affects me in a bad way. Like for some, how babies crying make people really upset, I don't like to hear people scream extensively. I get upset physically! And not in that emotional catharsis way. That is hard to leave me. Something about certain types of pain depicted on screen are too uncomfortable to sit through. That emotional response is harder to shut off.

Really depends on the story and what's happening in the horror. I can't pinpoint a genre or topic - so, I'll try most horror movies! Doesn't mean I'm going to enjoy them all. Some truly disturb me. Some fascinate me and I'm captivated enough for a rewatch to go back in and analyze all the little details I missed while being absolutely lost in the film.

Another thing is that having this spiraling mind and this raging imagination - not all of it is escapism to happy fantasy and romance and love and peace. There's a lot of darkness in there, too. There's a lot. So - maybe my love of horror is a way to healthily channel the darkness and anxiety and dark stuff that's also in my brain, on the edges of my imagination, in a positive, cathartic way. Safety in escapism and indulgence for more than one type of emotion.

[seitmai]

So so many thoughts so I will make good use of the read more function lol

And now, just when Mama was about to have some fun and let Daddy see, Sloane had decided to make her presence known. 

Impeccable timing lol

Being surrounded by the things that Jake had touched - had gotten ready for your daughter - helped to soothe some of the anxiety. And while you might wake up sore and stiff from sleeping in the chair, it was better than lying awake in an empty bed. 

🥺🥺🥺

But instead, it was your phone that lit up. 

I know it’s late but I just got to watch your video. You looked sexy as hell, darling. So glad you caught our little girl moving, though. Love you so much, and I’ll talk to you soon. 

Now we know where Sloane gets her timing from 🤭

“I miss you. I want you here if it’s safe.” “Yeah?” “Always want you with me, darlin’.” Swallowing against the lump in his throat, he quickly swiped away the tear that slid down his cheek. He couldn’t get his hopes up that he would see his wife. That he would get to have some small part in this pregnancy. He could feel his baby move. 

He's so torn 🥺

Overhead, a jet flew, lowering the landing gear. Sloane moved, and you couldn’t help but smile. She was usually active when you were on the flight line, and you knew that Jake would love that fact. 

Oh he would love it and boast about it haha

“I wasn’t aware that you became an OB in the last three months, Dr. Seresin.” He’d sighed your name at that. 

Iconic answer haha he sometimes needs to be put in place 😅

A peculiar sense of deja vu hit you as you stopped beside them and glanced into the passenger seat, spotting your mother-in-law. “Fuck,” you hissed, forcing a smile when she turned to look at you.

Oh no no no🫠

“Can I get you anything to drink? I have water, sparkling water, soda, juice, and milk if you’d prefer.” “A beer,” Mark barked, his green eyes running the length of you before the corner of his mouth twitched.

Just this answer, with no regard what has been said is so fucking aggravating and disrespectful 😤

“No use spending money when my son’s got the room.” Mark smiled in what you assumed he meant to be a charming way but really looked sleazy and winked. “Want to keep an eye on my daughter-in-law, too.” 

I felt physically sick reading this, especially the last sentence 🤢

“Jake, you’re scaring me. Tell me what’s going on?” “I don’t want him near you, not when I’m not there. I don’t trust him.” Taking a deep breath, you leaned against the counter and dropped your head into your hand. Unwelcome tears sprang to your eyes, but you forced your breath to be even. Right now, there was only room for one Seresin to freak out. 

🥺🥺🥺

“Do you trust me?” his voice was cautious, and you blew out a breath. “Of course I do. Jake, if you don’t want them in our home, I’ll have them leave. I just… I need to have information so I can approach this the right way.” 

They are a team 🥺🫶🏻

The message was marked as read immediately, and the response came right away - OMW

Javy is the MVP

“Javy’s on his way,” you sighed. “I won’t do anything until he gets here. Do I need to find a way to keep your mom away from him?” He was quiet for a long moment before sighing. “I…I want to say yes, but you're my priority if it’s between you and her. Fuck!” Jake pulled at his hair, hating that you were being forced to deal with the situation. “Promise me you’ll call the cops if he does anything.”

God that's rough 🥺💔

“Stay on the phone.” Grabbing your shoes, you closed your eyes and pushed to your feet. “Please, darlin’, don’t hang up.”

💔💔💔

“I’ll have you know that I was also raised in the military, so I’m not a civilian going through their first deployment. I know how this works because my dad deployed a lot when I was growing up, and it was just my mom and me,” you snapped without thinking. “And my house is not perfect, but I had no idea I’d have guests coming, I work full time, and I’m pregnant. So when it comes to dividing my time, I will pick my career and take care of myself over doing housework, especially when I’m mostly here by myself. And Jake knew how I cleaned before we got married.” 

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

“Is that right?” he asked, pushing off the wall. “Tricare’s just not worth it,” you shrugged.

Iconic 👏🏻

“Let’s not get the cops involved if we don’t have to,” Javy said, attempting to play the peacekeeper. “Mr. Se - ” “Chief Petty Officer Seresin, to you, boy.” At that, Javy’s eyes flashed, and his shoulders pulled back. “Then it’s Lieutenant Machado to you. Now, she said to get out, so let’s go.” When Mark raised his hand again to point in your face, Javy stepped between you. “Back up.”

Javy really tried but then he was like: Oh two can play this game

“No thanks necessary; I'm just glad you texted me. Payback’s outside keeping an eye on the situation.” “Reuben’s here?” you asked. “We were at the bar when I got the texts. Pheonix and Bob are en route.” As if on cue, there was a knocking on the door before it opened. 

The whole gang is here for her 🥹🫶🏻

“But…” you sniffled, hearing his noise of concern. “But what if they tell me I can’t come see you?” He breathed your name, and you hung your head. “I’d rather know that you and Sloane will be okay than see you in two weeks. That’s all that matters.” Tears streamed down your face as you silently cursed your in-laws. 

🥺😭🥺😭

Rather than respond, you waited for him to finish before hugging him. “I’m glad you got stuck with Jake at the Academy. And that you put up with him for this long.” “It has not been easy,” he chuckled. “At least you’re getting a goddaughter out of it.” He stiffened in your embrace, and you did as well. “Hey, baby girl, it’s your Uncle Coyote. Gonna be the best godfather ever,” he promised. This time, the tears that slipped down your cheeks were from happiness and gratitude for the family that Jake had already given you. 

Ahhhh yes!! Give it up for uncle Javy the godfather 🥰🫶🏻👏🏻

D-Day by TrickPhotography | Chapter 18

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x female!reader

Word count: 8.2k (sorry, it's a long one)

Synopsis: After finding out his girlfriend is pregnant, Jake is ready to move in and get married. The last thing he expected was to be hit with a six-month deployment at sea and missing the birth of his first child.

18+, minors DNI

Chapter 17 | Series Master List | Ao3

---------------------------------------

Chapter 18

Jake grabbed the curtain surrounding his berth and tugged it into place. He had the room to himself for what felt like the first time in forever, with Rooster and Fritz finally out at the same time. Fritz was doing nighttime refueling training, and they were doing a horror movie night since it was Halloween, but Jake backed out at the last minute, saying he was tired. The look Rooster gave him let Jake know the other pilot knew he was full of shit. 

After slipping his headphones on, he pulled up his phone photo album and tapped on the protected folder, typing in the password. At the top was the video he’d requested and hadn’t had a chance to watch yet, just above the dirty photos you’d texted him on his 36th  birthday. His hand rested low on his stomach as he held the phone up and tapped to start the video.

“A bet’s a bet,” you sighed, lifting the camera to show yourself in the bathroom mirror. You wore his blue service jacket, sleeves bunched around your wrists and buttons straining against your stomach. Taking a step back, you put his cap on your head, turning to the side and smirking at the mirror. “This what you had in mind, Tex? Or…” your fingers moved to undo the buttons, and the material fell away to show your rounded stomach. 

“Fuck,” Jake breathed, palm itching to run over your skin. His own was a poor substitution as he rucked up his shirt, running his fingers along the waistband of his sweats and wishing he felt your touch. 

“Hope you don’t mind,” you purred, nuzzling the jacket collar. “But I sprayed some of your fancy cologne on this so I can pretend you’re here.” With a hand resting on your stomach, you turned back to face the mirror, and he spied the red toy between your legs. Biting back a groan, Jake remembered how the advertisement said it would hit your g-spot just right while sucking your clit.

He’d never been jealous of a hunk of silicone before. 

After 2.5 months at sea, he had a harder time remembering your rich taste on his tongue. Jake could have sworn that it was etched into his core memories, but the longer he was away from you, the harder it was to remember. But he comforted himself with the knowledge that he would have to redouble his efforts when he was home to make sure that it was permanently seared into his brain. 

He also wondered if you tasted different now that you were six months pregnant. Jake watched as you peeled his jacket back to show your breasts, his mouth watering at the sight. They were so much bigger than the last time he’d seen them. Touched them. Tasted them.

You were gorgeous. So pretty and growing big with his baby. When your hand lifted to circle your nipple before pinching it, his hand slipped into his boxers to grip his cock. He wanted it to be his touch that made you bite your lip. A smirk crossed your mouth as you slid a hand into the coat pocket and pulled out a small remote. Cocking an eyebrow, you chuckled, “So this might be one of my favorite thing you’ve … ”

The smirk fell from your mouth, replaced with a look of confusion as your hand dropped to your stomach. After tossing the remote onto the sink, you flipped the camera and propped it against the mirror, shaking back the sleeves of his jacket to press both hands to your stomach. 

“I could have…” you said softly. Jake sat up, nearly banging his head on the top bunk as he watched your expression turn to one of awe. Moving both hands to the left side of your stomach, you beamed at the camera. “Babe, I think Sloane just kicked!” 

Jake laughed, running a hand through his hair. You’d told him that you felt little flutters and small movements but had been getting worried about not feeling her move as much. Dr. Shearer had assured you that it was normal to take longer to recognize the movements in your first pregnancy, but that had done little to quiet that fear.

And now, just when Mama was about to have some fun and let Daddy see, Sloane had decided to make her presence known. 

“I, uh…” you said, brushing tears from your cheeks. “I’m gonna owe you a video because I feel awkward doing this now. Love you, babe.” When you stepped closer to the camera, he could see your chin wobbling, and his smile dropped. But you grinned, the emotion not quite meeting your eyes, and blew a kiss at the camera before turning it off. 

Jolting awake, you choked on a sob. Tears dampened your pregnancy pillow as you reached for the empty side of the bed, fingers curling in the cold sheets. 

“Fuck,” you gasped. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” You forced your eyes open, afraid to close them, and slip back into sleep. 

For the last few days, you’d been having vivid dreams. At first, it had been weird but pleasant - there’d been a couple of dreams about Jake being home and setting up the nursery. Another one was hanging out at the beach with your parents. But after seeing a video on TikTok about a neighbor running to support her friend when she was notified of her husband dying in a training accident, you’d had nothing but nightmares of that very scenario.

Of sitting on the couch and reading. The doorbell ringing. Opening the door to Javy standing beside a Chaplin, tears streaking his face. Hearing him say your name softly. “I’m so sorry. He’s gone.” 

And, without fail, you would wake up when your knees hit the floor, Javy’s arms gently guiding and trying to protect you. 

After one of those dreams, you didn’t want to sleep. So, instead, you’d pace the house or go into the nursery. Your parents had sent you a gliding chair that Phoenix and Payback had moved for you, and it was becoming your unofficial second bed. Being surrounded by the things that Jake had touched - had gotten ready for your daughter - helped to soothe some of the anxiety. And while you might wake up sore and stiff from sleeping in the chair, it was better than lying awake in an empty bed. 

Lifting the arm of the pillow, you sat up and swung your legs over the side of the bed. A glance at your phone showed that it was after 3:00AM - three hours before your alarm was set to go off. Sighing, you stood and retreated to the bathroom, pausing to grab a sweater that Jake had left, and you’d officially stretched out too much to return to him when he got back. After spritzing his cologne on it and splashing water on your face, you grabbed your phone and walked to the nursery. 

The nightlight projected galaxies on the ceiling as you settled into the glider, hand resting on your stomach. Sloane was quiet, apparently sleeping after putting on a show for her aunt and uncles over lunch. The Daggers had dragged her to the base food court with a bribe of French Fries soaked in malt vinegar from Charlie’s. When you’d felt Sloane move, there’d been some light-hearted shoving of one another to see if they, too, could feel her. Eating with two hands on your belly was awkward, but Sloane had apparently been feeling the love. She had made sure that her family felt every wiggle and kick.

You tried not to think too hard about Jake missing all of it, but it was hard. Not only was he missing out on seeing his daughter grow, but things were getting more challenging to handle alone. Grocery shopping was a pain, as bending to get anything from a lower shelf was difficult. It seemed like you couldn’t go outside without some well-intentioned stranger giving you advice or - creepily - wanting to touch your stomach. Even taking a bath was getting harder due to the struggle of getting out of the tub, which sucked because a lukewarm one - pregnancy had robbed you of your scalding hot water - was one of the few things that helped with insomnia. 

Pulling up your phone, you scrolled through social media before flipping to the news. When it was nothing but negative stuff, you locked the screen and placed it on the window sill, folding your hands over your stomach. Forcing away the lingering images from your dream, you instead pictured Jake pacing the living room, gently bouncing Sloane. Of standing side-by-side and struggling to give her a bath in the sink. Slathering sunscreen on chubby cheeks and spending a day at the beach. 

For as much as he was missing, you thought, there was so much more that he would be there for. 

But even that thought was cold comfort tonight as an image from a previous dream of attending Jake’s funeral intruded. Tears trailed down your cheeks as you rocked, wishing Sloane would move and distract you.

But instead, it was your phone that lit up. 

I know it’s late but I just got to watch your video. You looked sexy as hell, darling. So glad you caught our little girl moving, though. Love you so much, and I’ll talk to you soon. 

The screen dimmed, and you quickly snatched up your phone to type back I love you too. The message was marked as read instantly, and three dots appeared.

You’re up early. Is everything okay?

Fingers hovering over the screen, you hesitated. And then the screen lit up again with an incoming call. Jake’s grinning face made tears spring to your eyes again. Answering it, you quickly put the call on speaker and softly said, “Hello?”

“Hey, darlin’. Why is my sleepy girl up so early?” His voice, with a gently teasing tone, made you inhale sharply. Halfway across the world, Jake sat up - again narrowly avoiding hitting his head - and frowned. The teasing was gone when he said your name. “What’s going on, sweetheart?” 

“N-nothing. Just had a nightmare,” you croaked, pausing to clear your throat. “I’m fine. We’re fine.” 

“What kind of nightmare?”

“The bad kind.” Jake’s hand flexed in his sheets, swallowing hard as he heard a plane landing overhead. He made an inquiring sound, and you tried to keep the anxiety from your voice as you asked, “You’re okay? Nothing’s wrong?”

“Me?” he sounded surprised. “Yeah, I’m fine. Is that… is that what you dreamed about?” When you hummed a response, he sighed. “Darlin’, don’t you worry about me. I’m completely fine, other than missin’ you and Sloane like crazy.” 

“You better stay that way, Jacob Michael,” you sniffled, hearing his groan. 

“Don’t cry, baby. I promise you, I’m okay. And I’m being careful.” And he was - to the extent that Rooster had made a crack about sitting on the perch during their last dog fight. But after watching a call that was too close between young pilots trying to show off, Jake wasn’t willing to take the risk. The safety briefing that afternoon had been a review of the basics. He may have accidentally, on purpose, kicked the chair of the idiot pilots when they groaned and pretended to doze, nodding and flipping a toothpick in his mouth when they turned to glare at him. If they weren’t going to take the war game dress rehearsals seriously, they would be the first ones shot down. 

He’d already talked to Mav to ensure he and Rooster were in the air with the idiots next time. A little humbling would be good for them. With his wingman watching his six, it’d be easily accomplished while keeping a safer distance. 

“You better be,” you mumbled. “How have you been?”

“Not bad,” he replied, updating you on bouncing around the Pacific. They’d steamed past the Korean coast and were headed back out to sea and would be docking in Yokosuka, Japan in a few weeks, just in time for Thanksgiving. After months on the carrier, he looked forward to standing on dry land again, especially with the promise of six days in port with liberty. 

There was silence on the other end of the line, and he wondered if you’d fallen back asleep. But then, you spoke. “Sloane’s moving. I think she can hear her daddy.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Your tone was bittersweet, and he let out a breath. 

“Wish I could feel her.” 

“Me too, babe.” There was a long pause before you asked, “Do you know how much liberty you’ll have in Yokosuka?” 

“At least four days. Why? Want me to pick something up for you?” There was another long silence.

“I have a doctor’s appointment coming up.” Jake frowned at the change of topic.

“Yeah? Everything good?”

“It’s the glucose test and a check-up. But…” He heard you blow out a shuttering breath. “How would you feel about me asking if I could fly out to see you?” 

Jake grunted in pain when he hit his head on the overhead berth. Scrubbing a hand over what he knew would be a knot, he asked, “Are you serious? Would it even be safe for you to fly?” 

“I don’t know, but I can ask.”

“Darlin’ - ” Jake choked on the word, trying to hold back the wave of hope and happiness, not wanting to feel it in case the doc said it was too dangerous. “I miss you. I want you here if it’s safe.” 

“Yeah?”

“Always want you with me, darlin’.” Swallowing against the lump in his throat, he quickly swiped away the tear that slid down his cheek. He couldn’t get his hopes up that he would see his wife. That he would get to have some small part in this pregnancy. He could feel his baby move. 

“I always want you with me, too, babe.” 

Gathering your hair in one hand, you fanned the back of your neck while walking the flight line. The temperature was creeping over 70 degrees, and you were sweating while walking between the hangers with some of the mechanics. They were auditing their tools to order replacements now that the new fiscal year had begun. Already on the top of the list were new trucks for the depot. There, you’d gotten an earful on issues with the new plane towing machine, meaning you needed to call the contractor to come back and inspect it. 

Overhead, a jet flew, lowering the landing gear. Sloane moved, and you couldn’t help but smile. She was usually active when you were on the flight line, and you knew that Jake would love that fact. 

Knowing you’d see him in two weeks made things easier. When you’d broached the topic with Dr. Shearer, she’d cautioned that you were tiptoeing the edge of the safe times to travel internationally while pregnant. Generally, women were warned not to travel overseas from 28 to 35 weeks pregnant, and you’d be right at 28 weeks when you flew out. But after reviewing your labs, talking for a while, and a few tears, she’d agreed that your mental health was an important factor in allowing you to go. After giving you a list of precautions to take, including bringing a copy of your medical records in case anything happened while you were in Japan, she agreed to sign off on the trip.

However, Jake had been more cautious when you relayed the news. As excited as he was, he didn’t want to put any additional stress on you or Sloane by having you travel almost 20 hours one-way. When he’d pointed out that you’d be traveling about 40 hours for only 4 days, you’d told him to kindly shut the hell up while fighting back tears. Yes, it wouldn’t be the most comfortable time to travel, but you were frustrated with him trying to move the goalpost - Dr. Shearer cleared you, and you wanted to see him. 

“Do you even want me to come?” you demanded, unable to keep the hurt and frustration from your voice.

“Of course, darlin’. I just want to make sure that you’re okay.”

“I wasn’t aware that you became an OB in the last three months, Dr. Seresin.” He’d sighed your name at that. 

“I’m just worried about you coming all this way for just four days.”

“Worst case scenario, I go into labor there, and you actually get to see your daughter born.”

“Don’t joke about that,” Jake said. 

“Fine. But Dr. Shearer said I can go as long as I don’t have any issues between now and flying out, and as long as you’re still getting off that ship, I’m going to be there.” 

So you were taking Dr. Shearer’s advice - and requirement - to stay healthy to receive the medical clearance and for Jake’s peace of mind. As much as you wanted to go home and sleep after work, you’d started walking around the neighborhood again. Thankfully, your diabetes test had been negative. However, you were still carefully watching what you ate and made sure to cut back on how many runs you were making for salty french fries at night, no matter how much Sloane wanted them. And you’d increased your water intake, which had the added benefit of making you pee more frequently. It was inconvenient, given how often you were out on the flight line.

Blowing out a breath, you let your hair drop and shifted, feeling the familiar need to head back inside to the nearest bathroom. When Sloane shifted again, you felt a twinge in your back and dug your thumb into it. As much as you wanted to head back inside, you needed to complete the audit. One of the perks of working for the federal government was the number of holidays - and therefore days off - that occurred between September and February, but it was hell on getting contracts done. And with your due date in February, you wanted to ensure you had all your ducks in a row for when you went on maternity leave. 

But staring down a three-day weekend for Veteran’s Day, you were looking forward to relaxing away from the heat and work stress. Javy would come over on Saturday to mow the lawn, and there were tentative plans to go to a movie with Bob on Sunday. Mostly, you just wanted to relax. Insomnia was taking a toll on you, and you were ready to curl up on the couch while watching television and napping. Jake had mentioned possibly doing a video call this weekend, which would have been an added bonus.

But those plans disappeared when you turned your husband’s truck into the neighborhood and saw a strange car in your driveway. Unfortunately, it was right in front of where you needed to go to park in the garage. A peculiar sense of deja vu hit you as you stopped beside them and glanced into the passenger seat, spotting your mother-in-law. 

“Fuck,” you hissed, forcing a smile when she turned to look at you. Lifting a hand, you waved before turning off the ignition. Resting on your leg was a small, silver piece of confetti shaped like a bell - even months after the Daggers had dumped them in Jake’s truck after the wedding, you’d found one in the cab. It was almost like the universe knew that you needed some small reminder of your husband on a day like today. Shoving it into your pocket, you unbuckled yourself and reached for your work bag in the passenger seat. 

Sarah was standing outside of the truck, waiting impatiently. But the person who circled the car wasn’t who you’d expected. He was tall and slim, with brown hair that had lightened with age. The slope of his shoulders was familiar, as was the cleft in his chin. 

Even though you’d never met him, you recognized your father-in-law from the few photos Jake kept of him. 

The ready room erupted in noise as the officers were dismissed from the strategy meeting on Saturday morning. Jake closed his notebook and sat back, pressing his pen cap to his lip as he studied the whiteboard. With the war games officially kicking off in early December, the higher-ups were fine-tuning the plans and wanted updates on training. As TOPGUN instructors, Mav and Rooster were officially in charge of ensuring the pilots were up to the task, but he’d also been pulled in as an unofficial trainer. 

Jake tried not to overthink Rooster's comment a few weeks ago when they’d been talking about buying houses. Rooster had been working with a realtor in San Diego but couldn’t find anything he liked before they deployed, and his stuff was sitting in storage. And as much as Jake liked the rental, he liked the idea of owning the house you’d raise your kids in even more. If promoted to Lt. Commander, he’d probably have more leeway in ensuring they stayed in Lemoore, extending with the Vigilantes or moving to a different squadron. He knew he was due for orders in the next year or so and that he needed to update his dream sheet ASAP. 

But in his gut, Jake felt he’d get orders to PCS sooner rather than later. Cyclone had told Rooster that two instructor positions were opening in Miramar in the summer. Warlock was tasked with compiling the list of graduates he wanted to recall, and Jake was pretty sure his name was there. The WSO instructor position had already been filled. Fanboy had already texted the Dagger chat to let everyone know he was headed out West during PCS season. 

Not to mention the vague comment Mav, finally up for promotion to Rear Admiral, had made about a permanent squadron being built up at TOPGUN for specialized missions. Who knew how long it would take to establish it, but… if he was reading the signals right, it looked like there might be a move south in his future. 

Before, that wouldn’t have been an issue. Even with his first marriage, his wife had said she was ready for anything. Finding a new job in her career wasn’t an issue. And it had just been the two of them. But now? Now, it would be a bit harder for that to happen. There were only so many contracting jobs on base, and military spouses weren’t guaranteed anything. In the worst-case scenario, you could return to private contracting - there were always offices around bases. An overseas posting would be more complicated. While he knew the two of you could manage it, he knew you liked being stateside and having your parents a short plane ride away - especially with Sloane. 

As the room emptied, Jake pushed to his feet and ran a hand through his hair. Thankfully, this meeting was the last thing he had to do today for work. He already had plans to hit the barber and do laundry, and he mentally added printing out a copy of his dream sheet. With you coming in a few weeks, he knew he needed to update it ASAP. Lemoore would be his top choice, pulling the international postings. As fun as being overseas would be, he had to put his family first now. Deployments would be enough. 

Tugging down the arm of his khaki shirt - they were tighter than usual due to having nothing but time to work out - Jake couldn’t keep the smirk from his mouth as he walked the hallway back to his room. He couldn’t wait to see you in two weeks, even though he worried about you traveling. But he knew better than to voice his concerns after you’d snapped at him. So he’d done everything he could to make sure that the trip was safe. After you’d sent him the tickets you were eyeing, he’d bought them and upgraded the seat so you’d be comfortable. The last-minute tickets were expensive but absolutely worth it - you’d already agreed that this would be both of your Christmas gifts. And he’d booked a room at the Yokosuka Navy Lodge, so you’d be on base and close to the hospital if you needed anything. 

Fritz nodded at him when he stepped inside, turning his attention back to the show he was watching on his laptop. After tossing his notebook onto the small desk, Jake quickly undid the buttons of his shirt while toeing off his shoes. Once he changed into his civvies, he’d hit the barber and then go for a run. The weekend was the worst time to do laundry, but he was running out of undershirts and socks. 

The safe door clicked open when the dial reached the last number. Jake retrieved his wedding ring, swapping the black silicone band on his hand for the white gold now that he was officially off duty. It already had a couple of scratches on the metal, but he didn’t mind - just meant that time had passed since you’d slid it onto his finger four months ago. After placing the silicone band in the safe, he grabbed his phone and powered it on. It took a minute to connect to the wifi, so he shoved it into his pocket and grabbed his wallet. 

With another nod to Fritz, he stepped back into the hallway and stopped dead when he checked his phone and saw two misspelled texts you’d sent.

Prents here

U

“Sorry, it’s a bit of a mess,” you said, standing awkwardly in your kitchen as your in-laws looked around. You caught her critical glance at the dirty dishes in the sink - at least you’d remembered to run the dishwasher while at work - and the pillow and blanket on the couch. “Can I get you anything to drink? I have water, sparkling water, soda, juice, and milk if you’d prefer.”

“A beer,” Mark barked, his green eyes running the length of you before the corner of his mouth twitched. To his credit, he was conventionally attractive. You could see how he could attract women - traces of Jake were clearly present in his features - but you couldn’t figure out how he kept them once he opened his mouth. Placing a protective hand on your stomach, you forced a smile.

“I don’t actually have any beer,” you said. These days, the house was pretty much BYOB if people wanted alcohol while hanging out. “I’m pretty sure there’s some whiskey and rum if you’d prefer a cocktail.”

“I’ll go get some,” Sarah said softly, looking between you. Mark glanced at his wife and nodded. 

“Fine. I’ll have a sweet tea while I’m waiting.” 

“I have tea bags, but I don’t have sweet tea on hand.” 

“I can make some.” Huffing, Mark invited himself into the living room and threw the blanket on the couch onto the floor before grabbing the television remote. Taking a steeling breath, you turned to face Sarah. She straightened slightly with her husband across the house, lifting her chin as though daring you to say something. This wasn’t the woman who had paraded into your house over a year ago and called you Jake’s roommate or had made pointed comments about your wedding. 

“It’s nice to see you again. How long are you here for?” 

“The weekend. Mark wanted to meet you and make sure that you were doing alright with the deployment and…” she motioned to your stomach, fingers twitching as though she wanted to touch. Shuffling back a step, you nodded.

“Where are you staying?”

“Here,” Mark called from the living room, clearly listening in. “Where’s that tea?” Sarah walked to the pantry and started searching, ignoring your outraged expression.

“You’re staying here?” you asked. 

“No use spending money when my son’s got the room.” Mark smiled in what you assumed he meant to be a charming way but really looked sleazy and winked. “Want to keep an eye on my daughter-in-law, too.” 

Forcing your expression to remain neutral, you picked up your work bag. “I’m going to change. Make yourself comfortable.” The sarcastic remark was unnecessary, as his booted feet were kicked onto your coffee table. 

You could feel the bag vibrating against your leg as you retreated to your bedroom, loathed to leave the two unsupervised in your house but needing a moment to regroup. As soon as the door was closed, you reached into the bag and retrieved your phone, seeing that there were already four missed calls from Jake. Before you could call him back, it rang again. “What do you mean, ‘u’?” he asked as soon as you picked up. 

Tossing your bag onto the bed, you retreated to the bathroom. “Your parents are here.”

“My - ” The shock in his voice was unmistakable. “My parents are there?” 

“Your father currently has his shoes on my coffee table and wants a beer, and your mother is in the pantry making him sweet tea as a substitute until she goes out to get some.” 

There was a long silence before he spoke again, his anger barely contained. “Did he say why they came?”

“He said he wanted to keep an eye on me, and - ”

“That son of a bitch,” he snapped. You inhaled sharply, surprised at the venom in his voice. 

“Jake?”

“Put him on the phone.”

“I’m in our bathroom. Talk to me.”

“I can’t believe… how long are they staying?”

“The weekend, apparently. And they’re expecting to stay here.”

“Absolutely not. I told him he wouldn’t step foot in our house, and he waited for me to be out of the fuckin’ country to do it.” 

“You - ”

“I want you to call Coyote and get him there - now. And then you’re gonna call me back and stay on the phone until he gets there.”

“Jake, you’re scaring me. Tell me what’s going on?”

“I don’t want him near you, not when I’m not there. I don’t trust him.” Taking a deep breath, you leaned against the counter and dropped your head into your hand. Unwelcome tears sprang to your eyes, but you forced your breath to be even. Right now, there was only room for one Seresin to freak out. 

“Babe, I understand you’re upset, but I don’t need Javy here to help manage this. I can - ” He hissed your name.

“You don’t know him. He’s not a good person.”

“I know that, Jake. From the little you’ve told me about him, I know that he’s an asshole and that your mother is not my biggest fan. But I need you to please take a breath and tell me the context of why you told him he wouldn’t be in our house.” Across the globe, he forced himself to take a deep breath and then another as you did the same. You heard voices in the background and then a door opening and closing. “You still there?”

“Yeah, tryin’ to find somewhere private. Hold on.” Closing your eyes, you felt the baby move. 

“Sloane’s moving,” you said softly. When he grunted a response, you sighed - clearly, he wasn’t willing to be distracted. So, instead, you moved deeper into the bathroom and pulled back the shower curtain to sit on the tub's rim. Eventually, Jake spoke again.

“Darlin’?”

“Yeah?”

“Can’t wait until I’m off this goddamn ship and can get some privacy.” It was on the tip of your tongue to say that he would have that in a couple of weeks, but you stayed quiet. When you closed your eyes, you could picture him running a hand through his hair and pacing. The silence stretched, and you refused to break it. “Do you trust me?” his voice was cautious, and you blew out a breath.

“Of course I do. Jake, if you don’t want them in our home, I’ll have them leave. I just… I need to have information so I can approach this the right way.” 

“The right way is with Coyote there.”

“Why?” you demanded. “Why do I need your best friend here? Is your father going to be violent when I ask him to leave?”

“He better not be,” Jake growled. Closing your eyes, you tried to push down your frustration at him for not telling you what was happening, knowing he needed a moment to gather himself. Your husband was a man of action and instinct, and you knew his not being there to handle this personally had to be hard for him. But you were more deliberate and planned, and you wanted to approach every situation with plans and backups in place. And to do that, you needed information.

It had been like this once before when you’d had your first fight about moving in together. Jake wanted it to happen immediately, while you wanted a more established timeline. But now, unlike then, other variables were in the mix - his parents. For as little as you knew about Sarah Seresin, you had at least interacted with her a handful of times. You knew some of her quirks and how she would try to get under your skin. How she’d try to manipulate the situation. But Mark? Your father-in-law was an unknown quantity. You knew he had a temper, was a frequent cheater, and was a horrible parent who emotionally abused his son. Still, you had no data on how to interact with him.

Taking a deep breath, you closed your eyes. “Babe, please, I need you to focus because we have a situation, and I need to handle it in a minute. And to do that, I need you to be very honest with me right now about your concerns about me interacting with your father and answer a few questions for me.” Jake felt slightly annoyed when he clocked your tone - the one you used when working with a particularly difficult person. “First, why did you tell him he couldn’t step foot in our home?”

“Because he doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t deserve to know you after what he said.”

“And what did he say?” 

“I don’t - ”

“Jacob.” 

“You heard him call you a tag chaser,” he said after a moment. You nodded, remembering that phone call where you’d first heard Mark’s voice when you’d called to invite them to the wedding and let his parents know about the pregnancy. “You didn’t hear him say…he said some pretty terrible things about you.” There was a sinking feeling in your stomach, but you forced your voice to be even when you asked him to clarify. Reluctantly, he did. “He said the baby probably wasn’t mine and that you’d cheat on me the moment you had the chance if you hadn’t already. And that… that you would leave me as soon as you got tired of military life, just like my ex did.”

“I…” you stared but couldn’t speak around the lump in your throat. A confusing mixture of anger, resentment, and hurt choked you. While the rational part of your brain knew that Mark Seresin’s opinion was worth less than the dirt on the sole of your shoe, the emotional part hated that your father-in-law would believe that about you. Clearing your throat, you nodded again. “W-what are your concerns with me confronting him alone?”

“Darlin’,” Jake groaned. When you hummed, he cursed under his breath. “I never saw him hit ma, but it was close. And I don’t… I can’t have that happen. Not with you.” 

“Alright,” you said, pulling the phone from your ear and putting it on speaker. Pulling up your text thread with Javy, you quickly typed a message.

911 - Seresins here. Jake wants you here when I kick them out. Can you come?

The message was marked as read immediately, and the response came right away - OMW

“Javy’s on his way,” you sighed. “I won’t do anything until he gets here. Do I need to find a way to keep your mom away from him?” He was quiet for a long moment before sighing. 

“I…I want to say yes, but you're my priority if it’s between you and her. Fuck!” Jake pulled at his hair, hating that you were being forced to deal with the situation. “Promise me you’ll call the cops if he does anything.”

“Of course.” Swiping away a rogue tear, you cleared your throat again. “I love you.” 

“I love you too, darlin’. I’m so sorry that - ”

“This isn’t on you,” you said, toeing off your shoes. “We can handle this. I’m gonna go check the mail to make sure that the door’s open for when Javy gets here. Do you want me to call you back when - ”

“Stay on the phone.” Grabbing your shoes, you closed your eyes and pushed to your feet. “Please, darlin’, don’t hang up.”

“I won’t.” After tossing your shoes into the closet, you glanced at yourself in the mirror and quickly fixed your makeup to ensure you didn’t look like you were crying. Exiting your bedroom, you glanced at where Mark was watching TV and didn’t see Sarah anymore. A glass of sweet tea sweat on the coffee table, having ignored the stack of coasters. 

Mark’s eyes narrowed briefly before his eyebrow rose as you walked through the living room. Forcing a smile, you tilted your head toward the door. “That my son on the phone?” he asked.

“It is. He says hi.” You heard Jake snort, and Mark’s lips curled in a fake smile.

“Tell him I said hello, and he needs to call his mama more.” 

“I will. I’m gonna go grab the mail.” Their rental car wasn’t in the driveway as you walked to the mailbox, the cement warm under your bare feet. There was a box from your parents sitting on the front porch. “Did you hear that?”

“Fuckin’ asshole,” was Jake’s response. Taking a breath, you cradled the phone between your shoulder and ear while grabbing the stack of magazines and envelopes. Slowly, you walked back to the house, mentally preparing to be civil to a man you hated with every fiber of your being and nearly dropping your phone when you tried to juggle it, the mail, and the box. 

“I’m gonna put my phone in my pocket for a second,” you said. Before he could respond, you did just that and pushed the door open, leaving it unlocked. Mark watched you walk toward the kitchen and smirked.

“The yard looks like shit, and the house doesn't look much better. Your mama clearly didn’t teach you how to keep a house for your husband, but don’t worry - Sarah’ll get you right before we leave.”  

You froze, hearing Jake’s tinny voice in your pocket. The television covered the noise by the couch, as Mark didn’t seem to notice it. “Excuse me?” 

“My son obviously didn’t marry you for your housekeepin’ skills,” the older man leered, and you shifted the box to more fully cover your stomach. “But a man should be able to leave on deployment and know that his woman’s takin’ care of his home. Sarah knew that, and she’ll make sure you learn.” 

“I’ll have you know that I was also raised in the military, so I’m not a civilian going through their first deployment. I know how this works because my dad deployed a lot when I was growing up, and it was just my mom and me,” you snapped without thinking. “And my house is not perfect, but I had no idea I’d have guests coming, I work full time, and I’m pregnant. So when it comes to dividing my time, I will pick my career and take care of myself over doing housework, especially when I’m mostly here by myself. And Jake knew how I cleaned before we got married.” 

Turning your back on the man, you stormed toward the kitchen and slammed the box onto the counter, the mail falling to the floor. Jake was talking as you bent to retrieve the post, hand sliding into your pocket to retrieve the phone. “You’ve got more fire than the last tag chaser, I’ll give ya that.” Mark leaned against the wall, grinning down at you. Grasping the counter's edge, you pulled yourself to your feet and tossed envelopes next to the box, crossing your arms over your chest. 

“I am not, and never have been, a tag chaser, so I’d appreciate it if you stopped calling me that. If anything, I married your son despite him being in the military.”

“Is that right?” he asked, pushing off the wall.

“Tricare’s just not worth it,” you shrugged. 

“You got a smart mouth on you, you know that?” That Texas drawl you found so charming on your husband made your skin crawl as he stepped closer. 

“It’s one of the things Jake loves about me.” The counter dug into your back as he moved into your personal space. 

“Your daddy shoulda tanned your hide for that and taught you some manners.” 

“We’ll agree to disagree on that.” When you tried to push past him, his hand shot out and wrapped around your upper arm, pulling you to a stop. Glancing at it, you forced your eyes up to meet his angry green gaze and felt a shot of fear go through you. “Take your hand off of me. Now.” You could clearly hear Jake yelling in the quiet kitchen, but the words were muffled. Mark glanced down at your leg. “I didn’t get a chance to hang up, so Jake’s heard all this.”

Sneering, the elder Seresin chuckled. “An’ what’s he gonna do for you when you’re here all alone? Clearly, you need a man to teach you a lesson, and if my son isn’t up to the task - ” 

When his hand rose, you lifted your chin as you wrenched yourself out of his grasp. “Do it and pull back a bloody stump,” you hissed. Adrenaline flooded your system, and anger at him daring to threaten you in your own home overrode any fear. “I’ll make sure you spend the nice, long holiday weekend in jail, and I’m pretty sure those assault charges would have more consequences since I’m pregnant.” 

“You little bit - ”

There was a knock at the front door, and you refused to take your eyes off the man in front of you as you yelled, “Come in!” You heard Javy call your name. “We’re in the kitchen.” 

Mark lowered his hands when he heard Javy’s quick footsteps, and he paused in the doorway. “Everything alright?” he demanded, glancing between you. 

“Everything’s fine,” you replied, keeping your voice even. “He was just going to wait outside for his wife to come back and then find a hotel for the weekend.”

“You can’t kick me out of my son’s house,” Mark snapped. Javy quickly moved to stand beside you, and you smiled sweetly.

“This is my house just as much as it’s Jake’s. And if you don’t leave, I’ll call the police and have them remove you.” 

“Let’s not get the cops involved if we don’t have to,” Javy said, attempting to play the peacekeeper. “Mr. Se - ”

“Chief Petty Officer Seresin, to you, boy.” At that, Javy’s eyes flashed, and his shoulders pulled back.

“Then it’s Lieutenant Machado to you. Now, she said to get out, so let’s go.” When Mark raised his hand again to point in your face, Javy stepped between you. “Back up.”

“You and my pussy of a son deserve each other.”

“Get. The fuck. Out of my house,” you ordered through clenched teeth, your palm itching to slap the man. Smirking, he took a step back and spit on the floor. Javy moved fast, grabbing the older man by the collar and walking him out of the kitchen and toward the door.

Ears ringing, you were unable to hear the words the two exchanged. The door slammed shut, seeming to shake the walls, and then Javy was back. “You okay?” he asked, pulling you into his arms. Shaking, you leaned into him, fingers digging into his back. 

“I’m okay,” you breathed, unable to keep tears from falling. “How’d you get here so fast?”

“Jake texted me.”

“Jake!” you sobbed, quickly pulling away and reaching for your phone. You could feel that you were starting to get light-headed, and the room spun, so you grabbed Javy’s arm, using it to help you onto the floor. Leaning back against the cabinet, you brought the phone up to your ear and heard your husband’s ragged breathing. “Jake?”

“Fuck, darlin’, are you okay?” he demanded. 

“I’m okay,” you answered. Looking up at Javy, you mouthed the word ‘water.’ He nodded and quickly grabbed a glass from over your head. 

“I can’t believe that fuckin’ asshole touched you. I’m gonna kill him.”

“I’m okay,” you repeated, hearing how worked up he was getting. Putting the phone on speaker, you accepted the water Javy handed you and mouthed your thanks. Forcing yourself to take slow sips, you could feel the room stop spinning. Crouching down in front of you, Javy studied your face.

“She’s a little pale but looks good, Hangman.”

“Jesus, Javy - I…” Jake seemed to choke on his words. “Thank you, man. I - ”

“No thanks necessary; I'm just glad you texted me. Payback’s outside keeping an eye on the situation.” 

“Reuben’s here?” you asked.

“We were at the bar when I got the texts. Pheonix and Bob are en route.” As if on cue, there was a knocking on the door before it opened. 

“Just me!” Nat called. Javy stood, glancing at the other pilot when she entered the kitchen. “All clear?” 

“Yeah,” he nodded. “You mind staying here while I go back up Payback?”

“Bob’s five minutes out,” she said. Her gaze drifted to you. “You want to go get checked out?”

“No.”

“Yes.”

Jake grunted in frustration. “Go get checked out, darlin’. Make sure you and Sloane are okay.”

“I’m fine,” you countered. “The worst I’ll have is a bruise on my arm. He didn’t touch me.”

“If he left a bruise, he did,” Jake countered. “Please, darlin’? For me?”

“But…” you sniffled, hearing his noise of concern. “But what if they tell me I can’t come see you?” He breathed your name, and you hung your head.

“I’d rather know that you and Sloane will be okay than see you in two weeks. That’s all that matters.” Tears streamed down your face as you silently cursed your in-laws. 

“Fine,” you whispered.

“I’ll take you,” Nat offered, and you nodded. 

Two hours later, you sat on the couch between Bob and Payback, a mug of ice cream settled on your stomach. Urgent Care had quickly cleared you but cautioned against any more stress when you’d admitted to feeling faint.

Jake had made you promise to call him back during the exam, and Nat had held the phone for you. Only after hearing Sloane’s strong heartbeat did he feel comfortable hanging up. 

By the time you’d gotten back, the Seresins were gone. When the Daggers made it clear that they wouldn’t leave you alone that night, you quickly ordered some pizzas while Javy ran home to pack an overnight bag, and Payback went to pick up some beers. When you’d tried to pick up the house a bit, Bob and Nat had made you sit on the couch and relax, keeping your feet elevated like the PA had told you to. 

After midnight, you woke to the hushed sounds of the aviators getting ready to leave. You hugged Nat, Reuben, and Bob before they left while Javy cleaned up the kitchen and took out the trash.  

“You don’t have to do that,” you yawned when he came back into the kitchen through the garage. 

“It’s no problem. I’m gonna crash in the spare bedroom if that’s cool.” 

“It’s all yours. And thanks, again, for everything this afternoon.” 

Javy shrugged, a sad smile tugging at his mouth before he turned to wash his hands. “I’m always gonna have your back. Chief Petty Officer Seresin” - his tone was mocking - “has been an asshole since I’ve known him. But you and Jake don’t deserve that.” 

Rather than respond, you waited for him to finish before hugging him. “I’m glad you got stuck with Jake at the Academy. And that you put up with him for this long.” 

“It has not been easy,” he chuckled. 

“At least you’re getting a goddaughter out of it.” He stiffened in your embrace, and you did as well. 

“I’m what?” 

“Please tell me that Jake has already had that conversation with you.” 

“I’m gonna be her godfather?” 

Groaning, you stepped back and buried your face in your hands. “Ignore what I said. Please - I didn’t… Jake was supposed to talk to you about this WEEKS ago!” 

“I’m gonna be a godfather!” Javy crowed, wiggling his shoulders in a celebratory dance. 

“You have to pretend I didn’t say anything when he asks you,” you begged. When his hands hovered over your stomach, you smiled and guided them to where Sloane was moving. 

“Hey, baby girl, it’s your Uncle Coyote. Gonna be the best godfather ever,” he promised. 

This time, the tears that slipped down your cheeks were from happiness and gratitude for the family that Jake had already given you. 

----------------------------------------------

Author's Note: I am SO SORRY for the delay in updating this story. I got very caught up in my other Jake fic ('tis the damn season) which is set around Christmas. Jake and Darlin' unfortunately took a back seat. However, it gave me some time to mentally rework the chapter, as it - and the story as a whole - originally didn't include any Darlin' going to visit Jake, but just focused on the interaction with her in-laws. As always, thank you to @mamachasesmayhem for letting me bounce ideas off of her during the writing process.

And now you've met CPO Seresin, who is a piece of work... (in my experience) veterans who want to continue to be addressed by their rank tend to be. A couple military terms were used in this chapter - PCS is Permanent Change of Station, where you move bases; PCS season is usually in the summer. Generally, you PCS every 2-4 years -- the longest we ever stayed somewhere was 5 when Dad was able to extend. Due to the constant change, it is very hard for military spouses to build their own careers. One of my best friend's husband left the Air Force because she refused to prioritize his career over hers (she works in fashion, and he now works in finance), and my other best friend's husband also left when she became a director in her company. My mom wasn't able to have a career until my dad retired after 26 years.

Tricare is the military health insurance. Dream sheets are the list of bases that you'd like to be stationed at. The military will look at the list and where there's need, and then let you know where you're going. You are not guaranteed a base on your dream sheet, and it's important to keep them updated. My parents forgot to redo the international one, which is how we ended up moving from Japan to Spain when my parents were ready to come stateside.

Thank you so much for being patient with me updating - I appreciate you 🥺

Read Jake's POV of this chapter

Tag list: @mamachasesmayhem; @memeorydotcom; @alldaysdreamers; @kmc1989; @djs8891; @caitsymichelle13; @dempy; @midnightmagpiemama; @lovelyladymayyyy; @caidi-paris; @a-court-of-roscoe-and-baby; @bellaireland1981; @lethargicluv; @tenderclio; @lucypaulette; @abaker74; @trhett21; @misshoneypaper; @schreksdoubledeckerhomechecker; @eternallyvenus; @mavrellover91; @chloeforde; @thatbitcily; @rest-of-brazilian-wax; @percysaidnever; @harperdoodle; @hardballoonlove; @maeleeme; @emma8895eb; @xoxabs88xox; @queenslandlover-93; @memoriesat30; @queerqueenlynn; @capswife; @regsg18; @boisewaffles; @fudge13; @starkleila

[sharksa-shivers]

TW: Blood, stabwound, anxiety, panic attack feels

(So idk full context really, i just have this idea where Sharky and Kristy are stuck in a dark area, probably underground, and Sharky's dealing with a really bad chest wound (probably got stabbed somehow) and all ya need is they're stuck, Kristy's freaking out and Sharky's in pain but trying his best.)

(We see them both walking, Kristy helping to keep Sharky up but Sharky's getting tired from blood loss and eventually has to drop down and rest. We see Kristy help him slouch down against the wall, both of them stopping to finally examine the wound.)

Kristy:(she sees the blood seeping out from Sharky's fingers, looks up at him and sees him nod, her then proceeding to carefully move his hand and look at the wound, a bit freaked out, anxiety rising)………That looks so so deep, holy shitttttt…

Sharky:(staying as calm as he can, having learned that from Max, in pain but seems he's got somewhat used to the pain by this point, covering the wound back with his hand and applying pressure, tired sounding)Yeahhhhh, it feels like it… Surprised it doesn't hurt more honestly, i thought for sure it went through my lung at first so uhhhh…Good it didn't hit that huh?! Haha!!

Kristy:(we see her kinda spacing out, that static anxiety building up as she looks at the blood on his hand, dripping down his clothes and body and then looking down at her own hand now to see blood on it…And Kristy kinda snaps a bit internally, standing up and walking away a bit for a moment, sliding her fingers in her hair and grasping at the top of her head)………….

Sharky:(he doesn't really see Kristy's emotions or anything, he just sees her get up and move away, still trying to keep the mood light, joking a bit)Hey, where ya goin? Kinda would be nice to maybe have a bit of first aid here heh…….

Kristy:(his voice snaps her out of her stupor somewhat, panic in her tone)…..Huh? Sharky:(playing still, not registering that there's an issue, joking)Nah nah, i get it…I'm a big guy, i can probably bleed out a bit longer without any major issues hehe, i get it, it's cool…

Kristy:(autism igniting with the panic, thinking Sharky's serious, she snaps at him, scared and worried sick)DON'T SAY THAT!!!! I'D NEVER NEGLECT YOU LIKE THAT!!!! WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?!?! I-

Sharky:(immediately backing up at her reaction, instantly realizes she's upset, quickly, worried for her also)Kris!! I was joking!!! Please, i know you wouldn't!!!!

Kristy:(upset, tears starting up)Why would you say that then?!?! You really think i'd let you just bleed out??

Sharky:(worried, his eyes and voice filled with concern)No! Of course not!! I just……..Look, bad joke, bad taste, not the right time, i'm sorry…I thought i was lightening the mood…

Kristy:(approaches Sharky, kneeling down next to him again, worried)…..I'm sorry too, i just……..I'm scared as fuck for you and i don't know what to really do!! That's so so much blood!!!

Sharky:(trying to calm her down somewhat, sitting up a small bit, adjusting himself)If it makes anything better, i think it's stopped…Somewhat…I've been holding as much pressure as i've been able to on it and i've been trying to stay calm, Max does know what he's talking about sometimes…

Kristy:(she sits a moment, calming down some)……I hope so, i- (lights up after a moment, quickly getting her phone out)Wait, Max!!! He'd be able to handle this better then me!!! Pleaseeeee let me have a crumb of service!!! --------------- Sharky, dude, you should know better then to stay stuff like that whenever Kristy gets in that kinda mindset, seriously lmao...Save the jokes for whenever you're hurt around Max instead, smh...

[morksuns-archive]

yellow, red, cyan, moss green, magenta :)

yellow - really pretty and cute mutual :)

red - i want to see you snap one day, you’re too nice

cyan - you probably smell really nice

moss green - you’re probably really into cottagecore tbh

magenta - i’d take you to a wendy’s and buy you a 4 for 4 /r

hi lasya!! ksksks thank u!! im actually not into cottagecore bc i’m scared of bugs and... well everything ;-; anyway i’m asking u once again to marry me <3

what colour am i?

[fairy-eclipse]

first of all i LOVE ue writing sm 😩💗 second of all can i request more hufflepuff!reader fic? maybe one where tom has a soft spot for her but pretended that he doesn't, maybe could also be in form of his fingers twitching when she's near coz he wants to hold her hand but NO why would he wanna hold ur hand dammit- unless- HAHA THANKS 🥺💗

Hand in Soiled Hand

Pairing: Tom Riddle x Hufflepuff!Reader

A/N: hihii sorry this took a while (；′⌒`) for the sake of the story we’re going to exaggerate splinching haha

“Destination, determination, deliberation.” 

The words roll off your tongue like the recital of a sacred poem—over and over again, as if by some miracle the repetition might procure a key for the anxiety knotted around your throat. Pressed firmly against your nose and chest, the feeling is much too suffocating, locked entirely too tight for its far less grandiose cause.

Which, you’re a little ashamed to admit, is an Apparition lesson.

“Say that one more time and I will start muttering it in my sleep tonight," Tom admonishes wryly. "Besides, the course has yet to even commence. We’re rather early." He gestures to the jittery sixth years scattered throughout the Hall with a flourish. Somewhere between your stroll here and your arrival, the house tables have gone and reality has crept in with a vengeance. The capaciousness of the room does little to quell the feeling of somersaults multiplying in your stomach.

“You mean you haven’t been doing that?” You laugh, but the sound is strained even to your own ears. “Hey, what if something goes horribly awry?”

Tom shrugs offhandedly and gives you a pointed look. “You voluntarily enrolled for this. Nothing unpleasant will come of it if you follow the steps, and frankly I can’t see how anyone could fail in that regard.”

You shut your eyes. Okay, fair, but you had deemed it a good idea at the time; at least a much sounder one than Floo powder, convenience-wise. You should’ve known Tom wouldn’t share a fragment of your last minute doubts. The day he reaps anything less than an Outstanding on a paper, or loses a duel—something you can’t even begin to picture—is a cold day in Hell. Envy simmers beneath your skin. 

You wrestle it down.

“It’s not that easy,” you mumble quietly, wincing as alarming images flash behind your eyelids in shades of red and horrifying angles of warp and curvature. “I’m not you, and I worry about the stakes. I could get splinched and…” You trail off and suppress a shiver.

When you open your eyes, Tom is absentmindedly twiddling his wand between deft fingers—which is odd considering he’s never been much of a fidgeter—and studying you with pinched brows like he’s carefully mulling over your words. His jaw is set in a way that you’ve taken to mean he’s either extremely peeved or…dangerously determined.

“You won’t.” Tom declares after a moment, such finality in his tone you’re almost inclined to believe him. “I’ll make—” 

He glances down at his fingers. You catch the second realization dawns on his face, irritation written all over his scowl as he hastily tucks his wand into his sleeve and balls his hands into fists. You tilt your head in a silent question.

“Nothing,” Tom snaps. His voice rings clear even in the growing din. Faltering at the anguished look on your face, he pulls one of his classic Tom sighs™ you’ve grown all too familiar with.

“Quit brooding. You won’t splinch yourself—you have it on reliable authority that you’ve been mentally preparing way too long for that.” He smirks when you roll your eyes. “However…on the off chance that you do, I suppose I will,” he grows interested in a spot on the wall behind you, “visit you at the matron. Assuming I have time to.”

You break into an ear-splitting grin. It shouldn’t have taken a mere three sentences to soothe the calamitous sea you call your emotions, it really shouldn’t have, but suddenly you’re too happy to care. Tom compensating for your lack of self-assuredness? Tom promising to swing by provided you’re injured? 

Good heavens.

A swarm of sweaty-faced students rush in with a commotion, greeted by the bell and the instructor’s disapproving cluck of the tongue. You swallow thickly.

Although the weight on your chest feels significantly lighter now, your pulse still thrums unsteadily—a trace of excitement laced in with the nerves this time, to your surprise. You roll your shoulders back and make to move closer to everyone else when something cold encases your hand. 

Soft and grounding, you find yourself short-circuiting in your confusion before you even think of peering over your shoulder. 

When you do, a pair of onyx eyes stare back.

“Wouldn’t want to lose you in the crowd,” Tom whispers, the ghost of a knowing smile lingering on his lips.

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

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