#also i have quite a few asks in my inbox right now so answers will take longer than usual !

[leejenowrld]

author’s note

this is something that hasn’t been an easy decision for me

hey angels. i’m still (technically) on a break, but i needed to pop in and announce a few things before i disappear again (if i do) —h2h three is dropping tonight. literally in a few minutes. it’s a little surreal, honestly, and i hope you read this before you dive in.

the truth is, i had most of this chapter finished even before i stepped away. i only had to write the ending, and in a weird, unexpected way, coming back to h2h during my break actually helped me. it gave me something to hold onto when i was feeling really low. sometimes writing can be a tether, and this time, it genuinely was. and i want to be honest—so many people have messaged or asked when h2h three is coming out, including people who haven’t really interacted with me or have ignored my posts about my health and needing a break. i know there’s a lot of excitement for this chapter, and i really hope it lands with you. just know this is me sharing a real piece of my heart. i put everything into these stories, and it’s strange to feel so seen and so invisible at the same time. i hope you can feel how much of myself i’ve poured into this.

i also have to admit, posting this chapter is really, really hard for me. the topics i explore in h2h three are some of the heaviest i’ve ever tried to write—trauma, death, medical realism, uncomfortable dynamics, mental illness, imposter syndrome, grief, abandonment, survival, love that’s desperate and messy and so painfully human. in a lot of ways, putting this down on paper helped and healed me; it gave me a way to process things i couldn’t say out loud. but that also means sharing it is terrifying. i worry about how it’ll be received, if it’ll resonate with you, or if it’ll just be too much. there’s a strange kind of fear in releasing something so vulnerable—especially when i know how easily it could be misunderstood or passed over. i worry about silence, about judgment, about whether it’s “too much.” this isn’t just a story for me—it’s a kind of lifeline, and sharing it feels exposing in a way that’s hard to explain. i’ve debated a hundred times whether i should just hold onto it for myself. it hasn’t been an easy decision at all, and i hope you read it with the same care i tried to pour into every line. it means a lot, more than i can really put into words. there’s also one more important thing i have to reveal that is quite heavy and emotional but i can’t tell you guys that until after h2h four drops.

i won’t lie, i’m in a strange place about posting at all right now. i’ve talked about feeling insecure being on tumblr, about being anxious over how people engage—or don’t engage—with my work. it’s hard to explain what it’s like to upload something people have been waiting for when you’re also dealing with a lot offline, and when you’ve expressed just how much engagement (or lack of it) affects you. i said part three would be out in a month or two after part two, and then i dropped part two just ten days ago—so part of me already feels the regret and anxiety creeping in. i really, really hope you all will show some love back. i’m not saying it lightly: i need it. please, if you’re reading, let me know what you think. send an ask, drop a comment, reblog, message me privately, anything. silent reading is fine, but these chapters take so much out of me, and hearing from you is the only way i know if any of it lands, if you care, if you’re here. it genuinely matters. if you love something, let me know. it’ll mean more than you realize.

i also want to say i have quite a lot of asks piling up in my inbox, sent while i’ve been on my mental health break—messages i haven’t had the energy to answer yet. i promise i see you all, i love you all, and i’m overwhelmed and grateful for every bit of kindness and patience. i’ll make my way around to all of them, but please don’t be off put from sending asks just because some are still sitting in my inbox. spam me, yap at me, tell me anything—my inbox is always open, and i really do love hearing from you.

part three is, hands down, the heaviest thing i’ve ever written. please read with care and be gentle with yourself. i put so much of myself into this one, and there are some very dark, intense themes. please take your time, and step back if you need to. also, surprise: i’ve added another full part to the series, so h2h will now have four main parts and an epilogue. part three is not the end—there’s more coming, though i can’t promise when, for all the reasons above.

thank you for waiting, for reading, for caring (if you do). i’m wishing myself a little bravery and hoping you’ll meet me halfway. i love you guys. i really do.

see you on the other side. soph <3

[soaps-mohawk]

I'm going to be honest

I'm having a genuinely hard time making this post. I've been fighting with it for a couple weeks now, but I think it's time I finally make it.

I'm not having fun on this blog anymore.

It sounds bad, but honestly, it kind of is.

I think a lot of it started from the very beginning with the precedence and expectations I put on myself. I've always tried to respond to every comment I get. Even from the beginning. It's just a polite thing to do since those who leave comments took the time to write out what they think of my fic, even if it's just a keysmash. I've always felt the need to thank those who leave comments or reblog my writing or (now that tumblr has it) replied to my fics. It worked fine before because none of my fics were particularly popular. Even my most popular fic (at that time) didn't get as much attention as CRCB has. I've never had a "big blog" before, nor a fic as popular as CRCB has gotten.

It was fine at first, responding to everyone, engaging with everyone. I was riding that high of omg so many people are reading and enjoying my fic! I've never had anything quite like this before.

Now...it just feels more like a chore. I set this precedence on this blog that I respond to everyone and I know a lot of people have said that they're surprised I responded to them and to everyone, and now I'm getting why a lot of writers don't. I'm exhausted. I feel like I've just been robotically saying the same thing over and over trying to respond to people now. I used to love seeing asks in my inbox and reblogs and replies but now? All I feel is dread because I have to respond to all of those.

Turning anon off was a big help. It lessened the sheer volume of asks I was getting a day. And while I do feel bad for all of my anons who prefer to stay anons, with everything that happened (the multiple incidents) with anon that kind of started to suck the joy out of everything. That paired with the obsessive need to constantly have my inbox cleared and make sure everyone gets a response...I can understand now too why big blogs will have 200+ asks in their inbox. It's hard and it's exhausting and I'm burning out.

First it was the fic that was burning me out. Things have gone on far longer than I planned and I just wasn't prepared for this fic to go on and for a while there it was dragging. I'll admit that. If I could go back, I'd speed up a few things, but it's done, it's posted there's no going back. I kind of hoped I would have the mental capacity to upload more than once a week too, but I just couldn't. I still can't.

I've come to dread posting chapters because I know I'm going to have to reply and respond to everyone. The only thing keeping me posting is the fact that we're in the part of the story I've been excited about since the beginning and also because I keep leaving everyone on cliffhangers and I love torturing y'all with all of them.

So that being said, this is in no way to shame anyone for interacting with me, anyone leaving comments or replies or sending asks. Don't feel bad about doing it please. I appreciate all of you that have engaged with me and it really means so much to me. Honestly, earlier this year, if I didn't have this fic and everyone on this blog, I might not have made it to now. It's been a really rough year and it's still going to be into next year. It's just getting to the point where I need a break.

I've needed a break for a long time. I thought taking days off the blog would help, and it did for a couple of weeks, but now even on the days I'm supposed to be on the blog and engaging, I just find myself queueing stuff up and just being offline most of the day still.

I'm tired. That's the best reason I can give. I'm tired and burned out on life and I'm tired and burned out on this blog.

So...I think I need a break. I need to not keep responding to every single reply and reblog every chapter. I need to not force myself to answer every ask right away, no matter how much I want to. I feel bad, but I know everyone would rather have me here and enjoying the blog than forcing myself to interact to the point where I'm dreading it and just robotically repeating myself over and over with every reply and answer and comment.

I won't be pausing the fic, I won't be not uploading. I'll still be posting chapters, I just might not be interacting as much as I have been. It's just putting such a mental strain on me still, even with anon off, even with days off. And with things getting busier for me, it's going to be too much to try and deal with irl stuff and write and try to be super active on the blog. There's going to come a point where I have to sacrifice the writing or the blog and I'd rather sacrifice the blog to keep myself sane, and also to keep trying to finally get this fic done. I love this fic, don't get me wrong, but I'm just burning out.

I'm already burned out in a lot of ways.

I was planning kinktober this year but honestly I'm considering not doing it because I know interaction is going to be insane and it's going to be a lot to keep up on. Plus trying to write that many fics is hard and I'm not sure I have the ability to do it. I have a few done but now I'm just like...is that something I want to do on top of irl stuff and CRCB.

There's just no joy in it anymore. It's not anyone's fault but mine. I put the pressure on myself, I held myself to that standard for this long despite the fact I knew it was draining me. I've tried to push through when I should have prioritized myself. I feel so guilty not responding to everyone. I feel so guilty being a day or two late responding to everyone.

I want to be here and interacting and responding to things but I just can't bring myself to anymore. It's no one's fault, and this is not a drag on anyone, or an attempt to make anyone feel bad or guilty for interacting or sending asks or anything. I'm just airing out the truth and saying what I need to say because I feel like I've been so robotic and lifeless with my responses these last couple weeks and I feel like I need to explain why. It's nothing anyone has done. It's my fault. It's 100% my fault.

Things have just gotten to be too much and it's my fault for forcing myself to be so active. The social battery has dropped into the negatives. I'm not a social person. I can only handle so much interaction and I've pushed so far beyond that, that things have gotten to this point. I want to be here and I want to have fun and I want to use this as an escape but I just don't feel that way about it anymore. It's a chore for me, a job, something I feel like I have to do and it's my fault that I feel that way. It's my own standards and expectations I set on myself, and my expectations on what I think my followers want and deserve and now I feel like I've gone on too long like this that I can't change things without hurting anyone's feelings. I don't want people to think I'm ignoring them in favor of others because I know there's writers out there that do that. They only respond to a certain group and ignore others that comment and reblog. I don't want to make anyone feel like I'm doing that to them and that's now led me to here.

I'm forcing it and I'm tired.

It's been hard these last few weeks. The life has just been draining and draining continuously. The joy and the love I have for this blog and my followers and the interactions and the fic. The last anon bullshit that happened was just kind of the last nail in the coffin so to speak. The straw that broke the camel's back. Things stopped being fun. It made me feel bad (and not in the guilty way, though that was a part of it) and I'm honestly just over it. I'm over the blog, I'm over interacting, I'm over life at this point. August is a hard month for me and every year it seems to get worse and worse. A lot of it is unrelated to anything online and I was going to make a post about it but honestly I just don't want to. Those that know, know. Those that don't...it doesn't matter.

I'm getting annoyed by the blog, I'm getting annoyed every time I look in my notifications and see an ask or a reply or a comment. I'm getting annoyed by some of my followers and that's not fair to you. Everyone always talks about how nice and kind and patient I am when I'm really not. I'm not the person I present myself to be on this blog, the way I mask myself so I can present myself as being a normal, kind human being. The mask is coming off because I'm so tired I can't keep it up anymore. It's happening here and it's happening in real life. I'm tired and I'm frustrated and I'm angry at a lot of things and the last thing I want is to start taking it out on my followers. You don't deserve that, especially when it's not your fault, it's nothing any of you have done. It's all me.

It's not you, it's me.

So for the sake of not burning this whole thing to the ground, I'm going to take a break. I'm not replying to everyone, I'm not responding to every reblog, I won't reply to every ask I get right away, if at all because sometimes I just don't have anything to say in response and I need to learn that's okay. It's nothing against you. It's not aimed at anyone specifically, I'm just trying to put myself first and stop things from escalating. I need a break and I'm going to do something selfish and I'm going to take it.

Don't apologize because it's not your fault. Don't apologize because you think you might have contributed to this because you didn't. It is no one's fault but my own.

I'm the one that needs to apologize to all of you because I've just not been myself because I've been forcing myself to be someone I'm not. I've been very unfair to a lot of people over the last seven months that this blog has been active and I've held a precedent that is not sustainable in the long run and made everyone believe that I was capable of maintaining that kind of interaction when I'm not.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've been putting everyone through this. I'm sorry I've been so detached and robotic and ingenuine. I'm sorry I led everyone to believe I'm someone I'm not. I'm sorry I've dragged this on this long that it's gotten to the point that I have to make this post.

I considered just disappearing but that wouldn't be fair to you either. I don't want to put you through that, so I'm pouring all of my thoughts out and making you read through this fucking novel of a post. If you've made it this far, then congrats I guess. Gold metals to you who bothered reading this far.

Anyway, all of that aside, I'll still be posting chapters. I'll have them scheduled and I'll probably come on and add links places to keep things current. I'll respond and reply and answer asks when I feel like it. You don't have to stop sending them, but just don't expect them to be responded to right away anymore. I'll probably still be here reblogging things I want and doing things when I feel like it.

I just need a few weeks to myself. Time I don't have to care about the blog at all and keeping up with it. Anon will remain off for the sake of keeping asshole trolls away, and also so I don't open tumblr and have 200 asks in my inbox after a week. Sorry to my anons but it's just the way it needs to be right now. Maybe once this break is over and I've dealt with irl stuff, I'll consider putting it back on. I just can't after everything I dealt with recently on anon.

It'll be the same on Ao3, for those that follow here and read there. Comments will probably sit for a while. They won't be answered right away anymore unless I get the energy to burn through them. Even then I won't try to answer them all at once like I did this last weekend.

I'll try to reblog something every day so y'all know I'm alright. I don't want y'all to panic and it's not fair to put you through that, especially those that might not see this or bother reading it. Those that follow simply for the fic and nothing else. I'm here, I'm just not...here.

This week's chapter is in the queue to be posted tomorrow as usual. Chapters will still come out as planned since I'm not stopping writing, just taking a break from the blog itself.

Thank you those of you who stuck through to the end here. I appreciate all of you so much. You have no idea. I'm sorry I let things get to this point and I'm sorry to anyone that I've gotten rude or snappy with because I couldn't be selfish and put myself first. I'm sorry to anyone that got a robotic, repeated response to something they were probably excited to share. I'm sorry I've been so unfair to everyone and I hope you can forgive me.

Take care and I'll talk to everyone when I have the energy to.

[mxtantrights]

Jason as red hood dropping off lost animals at a shelter and being smitten by one of the volunteers?

a/n: thank you anon for sending this in I could marry you!!! love love love this idea and If you want more.. my inbox is open!! <33 I hope you like it, enjoy!!

You think you'll have a door just for him. Only he can go through it, only he would have the keys to it. And he could come by as he pleases.

Yeah.

It's late at night when he comes in. The bell over the front door rings out and takes you out of your late night work. You were filling up needles for the night crew and also filling out paper work from earlier in the day.

"I've got another one." he says.

You lay down the needle and jog over to the front door. Jason Todd walks in with a cat in his arms. It seems calm and unmoving. It's white fur dirty and a bit matted.

"Highway?" you ask.

You take out your flashlight and carefully look at her pupils. They dilate to the light and track it as your move it around. No signs of a concussion but a scan would really answer that question.

"Yeah, she was doing cars left and right. Didn't seem hurt but you usually do scans right?" He asks you.

You look up at him.

You nod your head, "Yeah I can do an ultra sound...do you mind staying?"

In that moment, you try to dissect the way he's looking at you. No, you didn't mean for it to come out like that. But you did mean to ask. He's the one that saved her from the highway. His presence could help her stay calm.

Jason clears his throat, "Yeah I can, I can stay. Sure."

"Okay, follow me."

-

The cat, who Jason is calling Ziggy, is resting peacefully in a pen on her own. You close the gate gently and lock it after. You turn and look at Jason now.

He's standing a few feet behind you with his arms crossed over his chest. A serious look on his face.

"You know sometimes, it's not always a bad story. Sometimes its a good one." you speak.

"A cat on a highway dodging cars is a good story?" he asks you.

You sigh, "I've had some come in this office with extensive injuries and they were dumped on the highway. In a bag or no bag. Just left to fend for themselves in a dangerous environment."

"How do you do it?" he asks.

"Me being here makes a difference. I'm here when someone like you shows up with an animal in need. You make a difference too Jason." you answer.

He shrugs his shoulders, "I'm just doing what I can."

"Which is more than most do. So give yourself some credit."

"I don't really do that." he says.

"Well, you keep coming around here I'll do it for you." you reply.

He doesn't really answer. He just hums a response. An approving and a quite silent hum. But a hum nonetheless. You smile at that.

You remember the first time he came here and dropped of a lost bird. He barely said more than four words to you. He told you about the bird and then he parted ways. You didn't expect to see him again but he keeps showing up.

And you want him to.

[heyhoeudoin]

do u have general kink hcs for aged up!karma akabane? :’> he’d be such a kinky bastard and i’m such a brat so i’m just over here like 👀

A FUN DISCOVERY

“Karma's Kinks...”

pairing: aged up!karma akabane x reader

words: 0.9k

genre/s: mature, MINORS DNI!

warning/s: swearing, kinks, sex, mentions of dick, no pronouns (unless i slipped)

synopsis: karma's kinks... plus you

masterlist

a/n: answering this before any of the other asks in my inbox right now is unfair (because i just got this the other day), but when i read karma akabane and kinks; something awoken in me. hope you're happy with this because i don't exactly delve with anything sexual and this is essentially my first attempt.

karma akabane is one sadistic hot bastard and so i'm very sure that's a big part in his sexual desires. i also think this guy has a good amount of common kinks, but also has these specific wants during sex.

kinks i'm sure that he'd have:

bare backing (having anal or vaginal sex without a condom)

cum marking (letting a man's semen visibly dry on your skin or keeping a man's semen inside of you via plugs)

the feeling of him raw inside of you just makes it better for him. would he cum inside though? no because he'd rather see his cum sprayed all over you; on your face, on your stomach, on your back, on your ass... anywhere on you. just the image of it makes him all hard again.

begging kink (begging and pleading to have sex, for release/orgasm, to perform an act, etc.)

controlling orgasm (different from orgasm denial/delay because in this your partner gives you all the reasons to cum, but when you are close, they ask you to hold it which can get quite exciting if properly executed and done)

orgasm denial/delay aka edging (type of play where someone's orgasm is denied entirely, limited/ruined or delayed)

are you guys seeing my vision yet?

he loves it when you beg him to cum already. he loves to tease you and making you suffer relentlessly especially when it comes to you finally getting that sweet sweet release. when you tell him that you're about to finish, he suddenly stops all together and waits for a few seconds as you whine loudly to him.

karma loves hearing that whine come out of your mouth and that moan you make after he takes his entire dick out and pounds it back into your hole.

sadism (the kink for providing pain)

an obvious kink of his, but there's layers to it.

bitting (the act of bitting or nipping the skink whether it is to break skin or leave marks) or leaving marks in general

choking

degrader (like to degrade and humiliate their partner either by acting upon them in a degrading way or by forcing them to do things they consider degrading)

face slapping

rigger (likes to restrain their partners, either by physical item [cuffs, ropes, etc.] or instruction [known as mental bondage]. restraint can be full-body, or involve a single body part. bondage may include furnitures and devices)

spanking

he loves leaving marks on you, any kind of marking whether it'd be bites or a shit ton of hickeys. choking you while degrading you is one of his favorite things to do. also slapping your face, especially when you're giving him a blow job. your face turning red from the multiple slaps he'd given you. it makes it look like you're flustered. he also loves spanking your ass since every time he does, you'd make a moan.

but here's some next level sadism (in my opinion):

electric play (playing with electricity and tame shocks well above the lethal level)

wax play (playing with molten hot wax)

he definitely tried other types of plays, but these two are the ones he likes the most. he likes using electricity on your nipples because he loves to watch you bite your lip in pain and let out an airy moan once you get used to the pleasurable pain (he likes watching your nipples slowly perk up as well).

some times when he pounds you from behind, he'd hold a candle above your back and let the wax fall and land there. every time you fell a hot wax drip on your back, you'd arch your back further down and let out a cry of pain that then turns into pleasure.

loud moaning

being dominant

brat tamer

he likes being in control and touching you and making you scream which is why i think he wouldn't like voyeurism because he'd rather do you himself than watch.

public sex

here me out...

he loves to tease you right?

the biggest tease is him fucking you in public. works especially well if you work in the same building/company as him. the thrill of being in a public place where anyone could catch him pounding himself into you. you trying your best to scold him by saying "karma, we're in public!" but ultimately gets shut up by his mouth and/or dick.

that type of excitement; he just can't get enough of it.

and then a kink that i'm not sure he'd have, but it'd be pretty fitting if he did:

crying ("i love to see you cry")

i think that once you start crying either from begging or from something else, he'd fuck you like there's no tomorrow.

crying would be his ultimate turn on (and i'd be fucking terrified).

the first time you cried is when karma tried hot wax on you for the first time (only because you weren't a masochist yet) (yet because karma made you into a masochist).

he watched the wax melt off of the candle and drop onto your exposed back. you cried in pain as your reflexes took over and you flipped yourself onto your back. you stared at karma with tears threatening to fall out of your eyes.

"what the fuck was that?" you asked with a shaky breath as a tear rolled down your cheek.

karma blinked owlishly. then, in a quick second, he hooked his arms under your legs and slammed your back against the wall. his hands flat against the wall, pushing you against it as much as he can. he slammed his dick back inside you and pounded in devilish speed (you cried a bit more, which just fueled him a lot).

let's just say it lasted until the next morning.

masterlist

a/n: i'm very shocked with how this turned out. i actually quite like what i wrote here.

[myownwholewildworld]

I really don't know what I would do with myself if I didn't have your amazing Joel filth to read fr. Can we get a lil glimpse of what else you're cooking in terms of future fics and requests? Also, if I might request one, would you consider writing something about peepaw Joel and coming untouched?🫣🫣

omg hi anon!! you’re so so so darn sweet 🥺 this ask made my day, i swear, so thank you so much for sending it in! i’m more than happy to feed you all some old man!joel because only the devil knows how badly i need him. i kid you not, i’m not okay whenever i think of him 😮‍💨

right, so for future fics right now i only have one in mind, and it will be the continuation of this request mixed with this other thought i had – basically, the day you ride your peepaw’s limp dick is the day he actually (and finally) gets you pregnant with a bit of help from his good ol’ friend the g-spot 😵‍💫 i have quite a few notes written down on my phone for it so the thots be thotting real bad…

as for requests, here’s a list of what’s currently sitting in my inbox in no specific order. what would you all like to read next? 👀

you’re tommy’s wife but he’s an ass, so joel consoles you *wink wink* (this would be an AU to the current pairing)

surprising your old man with some sexy lingerie and showing it off in public

the first time Joel gives you head – you’re feeling a bit insecure about it bc your previous partners were assholes and you’ve never really enjoyed being eaten out before

a younger man tries to woo you and joel gets jealous / insecure about your relationship, so he tries to back away. obviously you won’t let him do such a stupid thing…

the first time you and joel have sex and girl (gn), you’re struggling to take him. he's gotta train your pussy well 🫡

edging / overstimulating joel while he’s tied up – and your poor old man comes without your permission...

putting a cockring on joel / more edging / use of vibrators + g-spot stimulation for your old man

lovemaking – just sweet and fluffy

thigh riding a fully clothed joel while he’s working on some blueprints in his public office. then he fucks you stupid on the desk and tommy interrupts 🤠

and then your own! – joel coming untouched (hopefully i won’t forget about this one since i’m answering the ask now but pls feel free to send in a separate ask)

so yeah……….. got a few! lmao i’ll get to ALL of them i promise! every time i look at my inbox i just drool all over the keyboard cause omfg you guys make me feral for this man… so yeah, keep sending them in pls! love you all <3

[valeisaslut]

Haii, Valeee! How have you been?

Vale, i have a reaaaally serious (not so serious) question...

Is there something you won't or just don't like to write about? Something specifically you've gotten or an inbox with requests you won't post because of preferences and just... things that sometimes are just a little inappropriate? Like warnings on the content warning of the +18 requests you get?

Lemme know, plis. I've been thinking abt this for a long time but never really asked u 💘

hiii amorrr 💘 i'm doing okay — exhausted but alive, as always 😭 thank you for asking, you're so sweet.

and okay this is actually such a good question because i do get a lot of wild requests, and I’ve been meaning to make a proper post with rules for a while now — I just haven’t had the time. so let me spill a little now:

there are quite a few things I’ll never write, and others that I just don’t really enjoy writing or don’t feel inspired by, so they end up sitting in my inbox forever. Some of my hard no’s are:

non-con/dub-con (absolutely never, under any context)

anything involving minors or ageplay in any form. "she's 18 and she's 50".... its a no for me.

kinks that are just not my vibe, like watersports, scat, feederism, incest, etc. (I shouldn’t even have to say this but some of y’all are… bold.)

infantilization or anything with overly childish tone/dynamic.l

roles that feature some form of animal role play (puppy, kitten, etc.), idk just not my vibe at all.

violent degradation if it’s not coming from a very clearly safe/consensual place or grounded in love. i love pain in fics, but not cruelty for cruelty’s sake unless it’s part of an intense emotional arc.

“reader” acting dumb or shallow just for the sake of being humiliated — i do like bimbos, but not in a condescending or mean way.

and then there’s a whole other category that’s not offensive or bad at all, just… not for me creatively. sometimes people send in requests and the idea just doesn’t click in my mind. it doesn’t inspire anything in me.

and i know myself well enough to understand that if a concept doesn’t give me an immediate rush of ideas or a clear scene in my head, i won’t be able to make it work — i’ll force it, and then hate the result. that’s not fair to the requester or to me. so sometimes I just let those go silently. it’s never personal, i promise.

alsoooo — Collide is over, but i've always gravitated more toward original scenes and new storylines, rather than just answering blurbs. i still love blurbs, but I want to focus more deeply on narrative arcs and character development again. when I start the new series i’ll definitely be putting all my energy into that, and will probably close blurbs for a while so I can fully dive into the new world.

basically: i love writing, and i love this community, but i also protect my peace and creative energy fiercely. if a request isn’t right for me — whether because of content, tone, or vibe — i just don’t do it.

thank you for being curious and respectful about it 💞 you're the cutest for asking in such a thoughtful way.

te adoro hermosaaa💘💘💘

[askthehedgehogs]

[Hi everyone, mod here!

Had a few newbies join lately (hello and welcome, enjoy your stay!) so thought I'd post a few reminders:

This is an art/ask blog for Sonic and Shadow, who have been together for about 5 years. They're in their mid twenties. They got married last June, but it was a rush event so they're looking forward to Wedding 2.0 on the 12th of July! And you're all invited... Although I haven't quite figured out how I'm gonna do it yet 😅 might make a poll, stay tuned...

My pinned post has useful info like what Sonic media I've consumed, a rough timeline of their relationship, and a frequent tags list. The tags list is a good one to check in case your question has been asked before, but also I don't mind answering again - just bear in mind I might recycle the old art for it!

I have about 50 asks in my inbox so I'm almost always a few days behind answering (eg it's the 7th of June right now and I'm drawing responses to asks from... The 2nd 😅😅😅), so please don't feel disheartened if I haven't answered your ask within a few days! If you want to keep track of when your ask gets answered, but still want to stay anonymous, I suggest giving yourself an anon name/emoji that you can search for on my blog (just make sure you search it first in case it's taken!)

That said, I also sometimes answer asks "right away" (or as right away as they can be considering it takes time to draw), particularly if they're relevant to a current plot or in response to a recently posted ask. When that happens I try to alternate between answering chronologically and answering relevant new asks!

My posts are usually queued to post at America-friendly times, but we also occasionally have events, like tag: glitter attack or tag: mersonic/tag: mershadow. When this happens, I frantically draw as many answers as I can while questions come in on the topic until I go to sleep, queueing some for overnight, and then wrap up any stragglers the next day 😅

I project autism and chronic pain onto Shadow (rip shads) and project my childless fat ass onto Sonic. Pls love them.

And have fun!!]

[posttexasstressdisorder]

WE HAVE MORE POWER THAN TRUMP WANTS US TO BELIEVE!

By Marc Elias' Democracy Docket

The messages have been loud and clear: You are worried about the future. You are frustrated that more is not being done. We are all angry that so few will stand up and fight.

I became acutely aware of the strength of these emotions when it was recently revealed by 60 Minutes that I was — in the program’s words — “the only lawyer the president has named who was willing to appear” on its broadcast about Trump’s targeting of lawyers and law firms for retribution.

Just like Marc, Democracy Docket doesn’t pull punches when it comes to reporting the truth about democracy. Support independent, pro-democracy media by upgrading to premium today and receive more action items like this in your inbox so we can all stay in the fight together.

After it aired on Sunday, my inbox and phone were flooded with messages from friends, others in the pro-democracy community, and even some Big Law partners. 

Many were outraged by the firms’ complicity. Others were perplexed that lawyers would be so cowardly and hesitant to stand up for the rule of law. Some understood why so many are so fearful. But mostly, people were inspired by the need to stand up to Trump and asked me what part they can play. 

Here’s my response: 

Trump wants us to believe he is all-powerful. He wants us to believe that opposing him is futile or worse. He wants you to accept that there’s nothing you can do to limit his ability to harm our country and our democracy. But that simply isn’t true.

In truth, Trump is quite weak and afraid.

His greatest weakness is elections. He fears their outcome. That’s why he issued an illegal and unconstitutional executive order to try to seize control of them.

There are things every one of us can do in our daily lives to help ensure free and fair elections — and, in doing so, limit Trump’s power. Some actions are small — so small that you might dismiss them as unimportant. Don’t. Every important journey begins with a single step, and the first is no less important than the last.

It’s also true that some actions are much bigger — so big you might doubt your ability to achieve them. Don’t give up before you start. Have faith that you can accomplish great things if you set your mind to it.

I don’t pretend to have all the answers or a comprehensive list of every way we can defend our elections or our democracy. Like you, I’m just one person doing my best to navigate a dangerous time in our country’s history. Yes, I’m a lawyer, but right now, my most important role is that of an active citizen.

So, here is a list I recently sent to premium members of what each of us can do to stand up for democracy and defend our elections. Democracy Docket is dropping the paywall and publishing it because we must all feel the power we have to stand up to Trump and protect our democracy.

Democracy won’t defend itself. Our journalists follow stories wherever they lead so that we all know when and where our action is needed. Help fund our growing newsroom with a premium subscription today. UPGRADE FOR $10/MONTH OR $120/YEAR

1. Educate Yourself

Elections can be complicated. The rules vary from state to state — and sometimes even from county to county. These rules also change frequently due to new laws, policies or court rulings. My first recommendation: spend time each month learning what’s happening with voting laws in your state and nationally.

2. Share What You Learn

Once you’ve figured out what’s going on, share that information with your networks and community. It might feel awkward to bring up voter suppression or changes in election laws when we’re not in the middle of a major election — but local elections happen in off years, and special elections are more common than you think. Now is the perfect time to start conversations about voting.

3. Run for Something

I told you some of these would be big steps — and this is one of them. But that doesn’t mean it’s too big to take. Look around your community, and you’ll see many local elected positions that need good, qualified people. These could be town or county roles — some of them even directly related to elections, like election judges or county clerks. A great place to start is the organization Run for Something, which offers invaluable resources.

4. Volunteer for a Campaign

Not ready to be a candidate? Volunteer for a campaign or your local party committee. Every campaign needs volunteers, and there’s no better way to support free and fair elections than by working for a pro-democracy candidate.

5. Join or Support Pro-Democracy Organizations

Is partisan politics not for you? There are numerous nonprofits and grassroots organizations working every day to protect voting rights and ensure free and fair elections. Supporting these groups with your time or resources helps these groups do their work.

6. Become a Trained Poll Worker

Many counties face a shortage of poll workers, especially during election season. Being a poll worker requires dedication, attention to detail and a willingness to be trained. It’s a meaningful way to serve your community and help protect the integrity of the voting process.

7. Engage Your Elected Officials

Call and write your elected officials at the federal, state and local levels. Tell them that protecting voting rights and ensuring free and fair elections are your top priorities. Even better, show up at public meetings. Ask them directly what they’re doing to combat voter suppression. Be informed about pending legislation and urge them to support pro-democracy initiatives. This applies no matter where you live or who represents you — Democrat or Republican. Constituent pressure always matters. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

8. Vote in Every Election

Yes — every election. That means local elections, primary elections and special elections. Become a super-voter. The more you vote, the more informed and engaged you become. You’ll also be better positioned to notice and report problems — like changes to polling locations or voting equipment — that could impact turnout or accessibility.

9. Stay Engaged

Trump is counting on you to give up. He assumes you’ll take action for a few months, or maybe even a year, and then move on. Don’t let that happen. To protect democracy, we all must stay engaged day in and day out. We can’t just show up right before an election and tune out afterward. If we remain committed, democracy will win.

10. Support Independent, Pro-Democracy Media

I couldn’t end without mentioning this. A healthy democracy depends on a well-informed public. Support independent, pro-democracy media by subscribing to and supporting outlets like Democracy Docket and sharing its content online and in real life. BECOME A MEMBER

We also understand that not everyone is able to make this commitment, which is why our free daily and weekly newsletters aren’t going anywhere!

Democracy Docket, LLC 

250 Massachusetts Avenue, Suite 400

Washington, D.C., 20009

[storm-angel989]

Don’t try to force yourself to make content, okay? Self care is way more important than putting stuff out, even if it makes others happy! Us fans will gladly wait until you’re mentally and emotionally ready!😉 Also drink water and eat real food, not just snacks!!!

Hi Friend,

Thank you so, so much for your kind words- I read your message as soon as it popped into my inbox and I did exactly as you said <3 I took the weekend, had some real food, rode a few horses and all of the sudden, a story I've been working on clicked (and I wrote a few more!)

As with all things, I expect it to ebb and flow but I appreciate everyones love, care a support more than words can express! Please enjoy below story and thank you again so so much for your love and patience!

<3 Mandy

Angel recognized the sound, and apparently Valentino did too. 

The noise in itself was a concern. But it was Valentino’s reaction to it that interested Angel the most. In the middle of what was supposed to be an important shoot, Angel watched Valentino rush off down the darkened hallway only to reappear moments later with a look on his face Angel couldn’t quite distinguish. Softness, maybe? Whatever it was, it disappeared the moment Valentino sat back down.

“Angel, what the fuck are you doing?” Valentino snarled as he raked his glowing eyes over the set. “Lay down and read the fucking lines.” 

As with all things, Angel obeyed. 

Now, as Angel stood in the entryway to his dressing room, that same noise from the week prior floated down from the hallway. Soft, childlike giggles in an empty studio. A sense of unease washed over Angel.  As abusive as Valentino was, he still had boundaries- and allowing kids in his studio was a hard one. Surely, Angel had to be hearing things. Maybe an actor or actress with a childlike voice. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right. If there was, in fact, a kid running around in here it would be easy to get lost. Hell, sometimes he even found himself turned around and he had spent years here. 

Hesitantly, Angel walked down the familiar labyrinth of halls and rooms. 

“Hello?” he called out softly. 

Silence answered him.

“I have gotta stop drinkin before shoots,” he muttered to himself as he turned away.

“Papi?” A girlish voice came from behind him. “Papi!” 

Angel jumped and whirled around as tiny arms grabbed at his waist. Blonde hair, blue eyes, human like- Angel couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He opened his mouth to ask her who she was, but she began before he could get a word in.

“You’re not Daddy. You’re a stranger,” the child shouted as she jerked away from him. “I want Daddy.” 

Angel bit back his surprise. “Does..does your Daddy have a name?”

“Daddy.” 

Of course. Typical kid answer. Angel wracked his brain as memories flooded through. Images of his own baby sister, from his human life, floated through. Painful reminders of a distant past he tried to keep pushed down. With a deep breath, he knelt down to her level. 

“Okay kid, what does your daddy look like?”

“Daddy is tall. And he wears heart shaped glasses. And a big cozy red coat. But only when he goes to work. And I think this is Daddy’s work.” She answered confidently.

Angel felt his stomach drop. Val had a kid? Fuck, Val had a daughter? Shit. What should he do now? If he brought her back to Valentino, would he get punished? Forced to work extra hours for daring to find out his secret? But as he looked at the little girl, the sinking feeling grew sharper. He couldn’t leave her here. It wasn’t safe. And if he tried to send her back to where she came from, she’d probably end up lost- or worse. Seeing no other option, Angel took a deep breath.

“Come with me then, kid I’ll take you to yer dad. You got a name?” He offered her his hand. 

To his surprise, the little girl took it and walked next to him. “Reader. What’s yours?”

“Angel,” he replied as he focused on the hallway ahead. The feeling of her small hand in his, the familiarity of a tiny voice, a little human by his side. Flashes of his own past, his human life. Painful fragments that shattered through his mind like glass shards. He tried to swallow them back with each step they took towards Valentino’s office. 

“Daddy!” 

The little girl’s yell jerked Angel back to attention. He let go of her hand as she raced across the empty studio and to his shock, she jumped into Valentino’s arms. Angel watched as the overlord of lust and depravity wrapped the little girl up and kissed her on the forehead. 

“Bebita princessa, where were you? You have your Uncle Vox all worried!” Valentino scolded in a voice Angel had never heard him use before. 

“You promised Daddy! You promised a piggy back ride and you left!” She shrieked in response as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “You promised!” 

Angel thought for sure Valentino would hit her. Or at the very least, scold her the same way he did his employees. Instead, he watched Valetnino’s expression soften. 

“I know mi amore, I’m sorry,” he told her, “but you have to go up to Uncle Vox now, Papi has to work. Later tonight, I promise.” 

Suddenly, as if he instantly became aware Angel was watching, he jerked his head up. Their eyes met and Angel couldn’t read the expression on Valentino’s face. Anger? Appreciation? 

“So, uh, you have a kid?” Angel asked as he crossed his arms. “I, uh, found her in the back. Down the hallway. She was lookin for ya.” 

Valentino’s expression changed to one Angel knew inherently well. Cold, merciless impassion. 

“If you tell anyone, I will fucking kill you,” he stated. “Don’t think I won’t.” 

That, Angel didn’t doubt. He opened his mouth to promise he wouldn’t, but before he could get a word in, Reader’s voice floated through the empty room. 

“Daddy? What’s fucking mean?” 

Angel watched as Valentino’s expression went from cold to…unsure? Uneasy? Angel couldn’t tell. 

“I, uh, don’t worry about it baby, it’s,” Valentino stammered.

“An adult word. Only adults can use it,” Angel answered quickly. 

To Angel’s surprise, Valentino looked relieved at his explanation. The ping of the elevator and Valentino turned away. 

“Angel. Don’t be here when I get back.” Valentino said sharply. “I’ll call you when I need you again.”

“Does that mean I get the night off?” Angel called to the retreating figure. 

No answer. Angel shrugged and back in his dressing room, he pulled on his jacket. Might as well spend the rest of the night at the hotel. After all, Fat Nuggets could use a little extra attention.

[moodymelanist]

if you are accepting smut requests for a nessian drabble, could we get cassian buying a new vibrator for nesta 👀 thank you!

happy sunday! you absolutely can hehe. my inbox is open all month long for other ideas 🫶🏽

For the vibrator in question I was thinking something like this.

Cassian had been home for nearly an hour, doing his best to stay quiet about his little surprise while Nesta enjoyed a book on the couch next to him, when he finally cracked. “I got you something while I was out.”

“Hmm?” Nesta said, not quite looking up from her book. That was alright; he’d have her full attention soon enough anyway.

“I said I got you something,” he repeated. Just like he thought, she immediately moved her bookmark so she could look up properly. “You wanna come see?”

Cassian had been out running some actual errands — mostly buying some new clothes for work and picking up his and Nesta’s dry cleaning for the week — when he’d just so happened to drive by his favorite store. They’d also just so happened to have some new vibrators in stock, and he’d been in the mood to see how long it would take to get Nesta off using one of them.

Not that Nesta had any idea of that at the moment, anyway. But Cassian knew his wife, and he knew she’d be more than willing once he did fill her in on his plans for the afternoon. It hadn’t been hard to sneak the bag inside with all the other things he’d been carrying, and it had only taken him a few minutes to wash his newest purchase, lightly pat it dry, and plug it in to make sure he could use every minute of that battery life.

Nesta’s eyes briefly narrowed as she tried to figure out just what Cassian had in store for her, but he wasn’t giving anything away. After a few moments, she just sighed and closed her book properly. “Fine. Lead the way.”

“Mhmm.” Cassian grinned before leaning in to steal a kiss, thoroughly enjoying the way Nesta parted for him. “Follow me.”

Once they were in their bedroom, Cassian didn’t waste any time. “Take off your clothes.”

“And they say romance is dead,” Nesta replied with a roll of her eyes. Cassian grinned before he closed the door and leaned against it, his pants already tightening as he watched her shrug out of her loungewear. “Now what?”

“You could at least fold your clothes,” he answered, his grin widening as her eye gave a slight twitch. “Whatever you’re thinking about doing, I wouldn’t.”

“I’m not thinking about anything except being good,” she told him a bit too innocently. She bent down and collected her clothes, making a big show of folding them nice and neatly before laying them on top of the dresser. “See? All done.”

“Gold star,” he responded, pushing himself off the door so he could pull her into a kiss. Her skin was so soft and warm under his hands it was a miracle he could stay focused on the task at hand, but he somehow managed to remember his actual goal after a few moments. “Mhmm. Lay down on the bed, I’ll be right back.”

“With my surprise?” she asked. “It better be a good one with all this buildup.”

“Be a good girl so I don’t have to blindfold you,” he said, nipping at her lower lip before letting go of her. “Don’t make me think of something actually mean.”

“Whatever you say,” she said back. She slid a hand down his body to cup him through his pants, a satisfied little noise escaping her as she squeezed his rapidly hardening cock. “Mhmm. Don’t keep me waiting that long.”

“Whatever you say,” he repeated, teasing her just a little. He swatted her ass lightly in retaliation before actually taking a few steps away from her. “Bed. Now. I’ll be right back.”

Nesta pouted a little but turned to do what he said. Cassian allowed himself one last look before he went into their bathroom, pleased when he saw the new vibrator was fully charged. It wasn’t anything fancy — just one of those vibrators that offered both internal and external stimulation — but that hadn’t been the main reason Cassian had picked it up.

That honor belonged to how the vibrator had a remote control function. Cassian and Nesta weren’t in a long-distance relationship, but he was sure thankful to the people who were so that something like this could even exist. He took a final moment to make sure everything was set up correctly on his phone, and then it was go time.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Cassian asked as he entered their bedroom, stopping in his tracks at the sight before him.

“You were taking so long,” Nesta answered, spreading her legs even wider as she continued to pump two fingers into her cunt. “I couldn’t help myself.”

“I’m sure you couldn’t,” he replied. He closed the distance between them and kneeled on the bed, reaching out with his free hand so he could grab her wrist. “You’re lucky I’m feeling nice.”

“I’m always lucky,” she told him, gasping as he pulled her fingers out to replace them with two of his own. She took him easily, silently asking for more by the way she rolled her hips, but he wouldn’t get distracted so close to the finish line. “Cassian…”

“Hmm?” he asked, slowing down just enough to frustrate her. It was hard feigning nonchalance with her spread bare beneath him like this, but they both enjoyed it that way. “Did you need something?”

“You know what,” she answered. She knew better than to try and speed up the pace herself, but he could tell how bad she wanted to.

“Yeah, I do,” he said, just a little mean. “You’re getting something else today. Open up, sweetheart.”

Nesta didn’t hesitate to open her mouth, and Cassian’s cock twitched in his pants as he watched her accept his fingers. She swirled her tongue around them the same way she’d do to his cock if he gave her the chance, and God did he want to let her.

Not now, though. This was about her; he’d get his opportunity some other time.

Once his fingers were licked sufficiently clean, Cassian pulled his hand away from Nesta’s mouth and sat down on the bed properly. He was still holding the vibrator in his left hand, so he transferred it to right hand so he could finally unveil his plan.

“You ever tried one of these, Nes?” Cassian asked. At the shake of her head no, he continued on. “It vibrates on both ends.”

“Where are the buttons?” Nesta said, eyeing him suspiciously.

“You don’t need them right now,” he said back. “I’ll control the speed through my phone.”

“Oh.” She subtly opened her legs even further, and he knew he’d won. “What are you waiting for?”

“A ‘please’ would be nice,” he retorted, smirking as he placed the tip of the vibrator against her cunt. She was so wet it wouldn’t take much to push it inside her, and

“Please, oh please, would you torture me with your new vibrator,” she replied flatly. It didn’t land as hard given the way she gasped as he pushed the vibrator inside her, but it was cute that she thought he wouldn’t take her at her word.

“Be careful what you wish for,” he answered, opening his phone and getting all the settings just right before he turned the vibrator on.

“Cassian, I was kidding,” she tried to backtrack immediately, but the damage was done. He just smiled at her before hitting the on button. “Cass— oh, fuck!”

He’d put it on the second-highest setting just to prove a point, only letting her writhe on the bed for a few moments before turning it down to a much more reasonable halfway point. She was breathing hard from the sudden vibration, a delicious flush spreading across her cheeks, and he wondered how many times he’d have to make her come before he could make it spread further down.

“I’m not feeling as nice anymore, sweetheart,” Cassian said once she’d calmed down a little. “Give me a number.”

“What?” Nesta said back, her eyes a little dazed. She was rocking her hips, chasing the vibration against the clit while trying to fuck the vibrator a little deeper, and while he respected her eagerness, he needed her to listen to him. He reached out and pinched her thigh hard enough to make her squeal and she finally said, “I — I don’t — um, six?”

“Six?” he repeated calmly. “You’re sure about that?”

He hadn’t quite made up his mind about whether it would be six orgasms, keeping the vibrator at the sixth setting all night, or edging her six times, but it sure was fun watching her squirm on what she thought he would do. “Um. No. Seven?”

“Lucky number seven,” he replied. Orgasms it was. “That’s how many times you’re going to come tonight.”

“Oh, fuck,” she moaned, immediately stopping how she was rocking her hips to try and hold back her impending orgasm. “Does— does this one count as one of them?”

“I don’t know,” he pretended to muse as he unlocked his phone. “It feels a little… unfair, doesn’t it? What do you think, Nes?”

“I think it’s perfectly fair,” she answered through gritted teeth.

Cassian upped the intensity to the next level, smirking as Nesta tried to fight the vibration’s inevitable conclusion. “I mean, you did have a bit of head start.”

“Cassian, please,” she moaned, trying to arch away from the vibrator. Unluckily for her, there was really nowhere to go. “Fuck, I’m so close, I can’t—”

“I guess we can count it, then,” he told her with a put-upon sigh. Sensing the was really at the end of her rope, he leaned forward and pressed the vibrator harder against her clit, thoroughly enjoying the way she cried out at the added sensation. “Come for me, sweetheart.”

Nesta’s entire body tensed as she came, and she moaned something that sounded like a mix of several curse words combined with his name. Cassian didn’t turn the vibrator completely off, but he took a little pity on her and decided to turn the vibrator down to the lowest setting.

“There’s one,” Cassian murmured, gently rubbing circles into Nesta’s ankle.

He couldn’t help but chuckle to himself as he waited for her to catch her breath enough for them to continue. It was going to be a long night.

tag list: @perseusannabeth | @bookstantrash | @fieldofdaisiies | @goddess-aelin | @c-e-d-dreamer | @talkfantasytome | @whyisaravenlike-awritingdesk | @sv0430 | @talibunny30 | @unlikelypersonalknight1 | @champanheandluxxury | @lilah-asteria | @burningsnowleopard | @sayosdreams | @readskk | @simpingfornestaarcheron | @bellaful08 | @readergalaxy | @podemechamardek | @pearlfortears | @nerdperson524 | @jmoonjones | @kale-theteaqueen | @autumnbabylon | @hiimheresworld | @illyrianshadowhunter | @dustjacketmusings | @live-the-fangirl-life | @that-little-red-head | @sweet-pea1 | @brieq | @queercontrarian | @jsmelodies | @afflicted-with-wanderlust

[bridgetlynn]

Sooo...did you guys know that I'm a "high and mighty bitch"?

Apparently, I'm also "pathetic and need to get over myself."

Oh! And "cheating is a hardline" is "pathetic fake trauma made up so Mel can't fuck Langdon".

I never said 'don't write it' I just said 'that's the one thing I can't read'.

There are genuine assholes running around the tags who are needlessly viscious towards Mel and Langdon shippers. I say one time that I have one single thing I will not read and yet I'm the problem for this person? Explain that shit.

Walking in on your partner of 4 years fucking your best (well former now obviously) friend in your bed kind of blows up your entire life. I then got months of variations of "she misses you. she didn't mean to sleep with him. it was an accident. How can you blame her? It's his fault they started screwing around (for 6 months). what do you mean you won't be a bridesmaid? (yes I'm serious on that one)" which caused me to lose quite a few other friends because I was being terrible for blaming my friend for sleeping with my boyfriend. Funny enough I actually blamed her more. And yes, I verbally eviserated them both and blew up their lives right back accidently/on purpose. Oops? sorry not sorry. They're lucky I didn't physically remove body parts. You can absolutely blame the mistress as well when they know you exist. It's not like she tripped and fell on his cock.

I also went to dinner and partied the night away three years later - when a year after they got married she got caught cheating on him with a friend of his. So sad. boohoo. yawn. KARMA. So, fake characters or not (in ANY fandom) I shouldn't have to be like 'Let me sit there and re-traumatize myself for no necessary reason just because it's popular'. I shouldn't get shit just because I've said I won't read it. I don't care how well written or "prolific" the writer is. I reiterate - I never said "you shouldn't write it". I don't give a fuck what someone wants to write or what someone else wants to read. As long as I don't have to. But I am allowed to state that I won't read it. Cause as long as I'm not running around the internet screaming "no you can't write that! how dare you! omg! Stop! I hate them! WHY?!?!" I'm not bothering anyone. And if that's bothering you - then that's a whole other issue. Like, climb out of your safe space and grow a thicker skin.

Anything like this pops up in my inbox again and I'm just going to write a story (with pre-apologies to the non psychotic kindgon shippers) wherein Mel and Langdon cheat on Abby - only it exists in actualy reality and it blows up in their face like it would in the real world and nothing works out the way they want/expect it to. Then post it as an answer to whatever toxic twat is sending me these "asks".

(Oh and lookie there - I don't tag it with fandom tags that way I'm *gasp* not harrassing people who don't want to read it in their followed tags! Isn't it amazing how that works?!)

[sugurugetofavoritemonkey]

Hi, Tatsuo! This has been in my head for quite a few times, may I request a story when suguru's s/o who's a sorcerer asked him, "If I were just a normal human, would you let me live?"

considering their relationship and how much they love each other 🥹 thank you very much!

Welcome my love ! 💗 I absolutely adooooore this request and was very inspired by this idea so thank you a lot for coming in my inbox with that wonderful story ! I hope I did good with the little thing that I wrote and don’t hesitate to come back here to tell me if you liked it, have a very nice day/night 💓

You were peacefully resting your head on Suguru’s lap, his monk attire feeling soft under your cheek as you felt your soulmate tenderly caressing your hair while he hummed calmly to you. And before you know it, the question escapes your lips in a whisper.

« If I were just a normal human, would you let me live ? »

Suguru’s hand stilled in your hair at the question, and at this exact moment you were afraid of the sheer honesty of his answer, closing your eyes in prevention. But when his hand started to caress your head as gently as before, you opened them back again.

« I know that the answer I should give you is no, I know it…after all I…I…killed my parents…I had to…I really had to….I had to », Suguru repeats these same words as a way to persuade himself, his voice sad and strangled as he tries his best to hold his ground, he couldn’t waver in front of you he thought, as he must be strong for you in order to protect you. You hold his free hand tighter, effectively soothing his pain away. His voice then starts to be perfectly clear and confident with his honest answer to come, the only one that Suguru knows to be real.

« But I also know that I could never live without you from now on, I know it’s selfish and doesn’t make any sense with my plan, but…but…I would burn the whole world to the ground in order to save you, than to live a single day without seeing your pretty smile, or feeling your soft lips against mine, hearing you say that you love me or feeling your hand caressing my cheek when we look at each other in the night, that I am sure of. »

After Suguru has finished talking, you try your best not to let out all the tears that gathered around your eyes. And you could have, if Suguru wouldn’t have gently took your face in his hands in order to make you sat up and look at him. Just for you to notice that you weren’t the only one being moved by his declaration, a few tears rolling on Suguru’s alabaster skin, as he closes the gap between your bodies to kiss you fervently, his hands sitting on your jaw as a way to deepen the embrace even more. Suguru needed to feel your presence, to show you that he meant those words and that right now he was okay with being selfish if it meant that he could live the rest of his life kissing you everyday like he does at the moment.

🤍 Suguru Geto Masterlist 🤍

[windvexer]

hello new followers :)

Heya my buds, quite a few new followers recently and some inbox chaos along with that. Therefore, quick PSA:

This iteration of Windvexer has been around for about 3 years now, and I'm now getting more asks than I have actual time to answer.

I like being theory/techniques/troubleshooting guy. I do not like being "please google this for me and tell me the answers you got" guy.

I don't have the time to do research for people right now. It's also not really that fun for me. It's not like I have a mystical magus wizard library with the true secrets. I am also just going to google it.

If you send an ask that is just asking me to look up correspondences for you, I will probably not answer it.

I do not usually prefer to help people interpret their own spreads. Due to my magical beliefs about divination, I do not think this is usually helpful in an anonymous and passive context anyway.

(I did recently offer to interpret a spread for someone so I'm not surprised or upset more asks like this are in my inbox, but just an FYI, I do not usually do them).

I know my masterposts are old and out of date, but I would really appreciate it if you just look to see if there are already linked posts that answer your question.

***Because of all the asks I'm getting now, even if I had been answering similar questions in the past, does not mean I can necessarily do that now.***

I know my thing is publishing an essay with every ask but to keep up with how things are going now, my answers are going to have to get a lot shorter, or I'm going to have to start deleting a lot more asks.

Either way something has to be rebalanced. I know how people can read into things so I thought I'd just make an announcement upfront :)

[ingravinoveritas]

Hello, lovely followers. I was traveling for work again in the second half of this past week, but I'm now home and looking forward to answering all of your Asks that I've been seeing in my inbox. I first wanted to reflect a little bit, however, because this trip was also a personal one for me.

This week's travels took me to Anaheim, California, which is where Disneyland is (I think I actually must've not been far from where David and Georgia just were, funnily enough, as my hotel was right by the park). It wasn't my first trip to Anaheim, though. The last time I was there was when I was 11 years old, on summer vacation with my dad in California while my mom was on a tour in Italy at the same time. As you'd expect, my dad wanted to take me to Disneyland...but I was too scared and overwhelmed, and we only ever got as far as the parking lot. The gates were visible, and I remember how they loomed, that feeling of something foreboding washing over me...but rather than excitement, my tiny body was filled with dread. I mentioned this while in conversation with one of the hotel employees during my stay, and he said, "What kind of kid doesn't want to go to Disney?"

What kind of a kid. Well, an autistic kid. A kid who was constantly anxious, emotional, and terrified of sensory overload. A kid who hated crowds and noise and rides. A kid who didn't travel well to begin with, because she was afraid of new places, anything unfamiliar, anything that wasn't safe and home.

A kid who was me.

Even before this, there were so many ways that the world had said "This is not for you." But still, there was something different about it happening there, in the bright California sunshine. My favorite Disney princess as a kid was always Belle, because she also loved to read and didn't fit in with the people around her. Belle connected more with books and animals than people, and that made me connect with her. But Belle was also beautiful (as Disney princesses tend to be), and thanks to the bullying from my peers, I was very aware that was something I was not. So no matter how much I wanted to be Belle, there was no way I could ever be a Disney princess.

This is not for you.

Thinking about all of this during my trip made me feel so many things, but I was most surprised to find myself feeling a sense of nostalgia in particular, a longing for the child I was, who I wish I could comfort. It also made me feel such sadness for that child and anyone else who finds themselves in a situation or a place where the world thinks they should be happy, but they're not. And there are few things more difficult than feeling that way in (of all places) "the happiest place on Earth."

I didn't end up going to Disney on this trip, even though I had a little bit of time to do so. It's still not for me, but the difference now is that I am okay with that. That need to be the kid who wants to visit Disney--the "good" child, the child who isn't "broken"--has gone away, and I'm more than happy being adult me, and finding a place that fits me, instead of the other way around.

And that was my nostalgia trip, in quite the literal sense of the phrase. I have a picture or two to share in another post, so stay tuned for that as well...

[perplexingluciddreams]

yesterday was BAD.

first in the morning mum was helping me get dressed and my muscles at the left side of my ribs at my back went into spasm which is really really painful. mum gave me cocodamol, it helped a bit. i did swing. it hurt.

the plumbers came a few days ago to put the new bath in. the old one didn't work with my bath lift and i have been struggling. i had a bath once in mum and dad's ensuite bath which was hard. sitting is such hard work. it was too shallow water to begin with then i accidentally opened the plug and we didn't realise until a lot of the water had gone! i was cold.

then the plumbers had to come back to fix the new bath again because it wasn't right the first time. so yesterday i was meant to have another bath in the ensuite but i was too sore and tired so i didn't. mum helped me do a quick wipe wash instead. the main bathroom smells bad of the caulk.

THEN -

i tried to start to answer an ask on tumblr on laptop and i went to save it to my drafts but i closed the tab too fast before it finish saving and now the post is disappeared it is not in my ask inbox and not in my drafts!!!! so now i don't have access to the ask at all anymore i can't find it. it is lost in nowhereland. in the void. so i can't even redo the post because i don't have the ask anymore.

i spent ages writing and it was really hard and i wasn't even finished. and now it is all lost. i worked so hard.

and the reason i closed the tab too fast is cause i had a LOT of sore pressure in my lower tummy meaning i need the toilet really badly. so i started getting antsy needing to fix it but there is lots of steps to getting up and going to the toilet and i was already focused on a task so that was all i could think about in my head so i couldn't sort out the steps in order. i was getting upset and panicky overwhelmed already just from that. i tried to just close everything and put it away but then i did a quick check of tumblr on phone in my drafts and the post wasn't there. disappeared.

i was already anxious panicking upset. my brain got louder. i couldn't move. it is not right. i can't fix it. i was a lot upset. i needed toilet it hurt in my tummy. i was hot from being upset. everything all bad. too much at once. i needed toilet but i couldn't get up. too much all at once. it is not there. i don't know i don't know. panic. bad.

i started hitting. mum came and helped. meltdown. i did hitting and biting. i managed to go to toilet at least (with biting). then more meltdown. hitting screaming crying more screaming. mum stayed. mum encourages me to scream to get the bad energy out because more screaming means less hitting and biting and hurting myself in other ways.

mum is amazing. she tells me i am safe and she loves me. she helps me not hit and bite as much. she tells me it is okay to scream and shout to help get it out of me. she rubs and pats my back and gives me hugs when i am calm enough and rocks me as i cry. she got my chewy and put the fan on when i got too hot.

my first meltdown in quite a while. it was horrible. my throat hurts from screaming. my voice is not used to being used. i get so tired and worn out.

then i had sushi for dinner mum made i like sushi lots. i always feel better and less buzzy more loose after meltdown, even though it is horrible. i also feel more sensitive and raw. but mum and dad made me laugh and smile a bit. laughing is easier after i expel all the bad energy during a meltdown. this one built up for a while i think. i don't know.

i am still really upset about losing my writing. i worked so hard and i wasn't even finished. and i can't redo it because it was an answer to an ask and now the ask is disappeared gone forever i can't answer it anymore. i am really upset disappointed that all my hard work disappeared and can't get it back.

it was about swing and said something like: "your swing is so cool! can you show a picture of your swing? is there anything you do to manage fatigue while in swing sitting up for long periods?" not exact words but it went something along those lines.

ironically part of what i wrote (at least the part i remember) was about how my every day is a careful precarious balance. always trying to avoid some kind of crisis (meltdown, shutdown, crash). because a "tiny" thing can upset the balance. and the consequences are bad and causes further knock-on consequences. and takes time to get back to a careful precarious balance once again.

and then of course a few "small" things happened which fucked up the balance and it all went to shit. aka meltdown.

i put "tiny" and "small" in quotation marks cause they maybe is small for other people but for me it is huge and ruins a day or more. to me it feels like the whole world is off its axis.

anyway it is hard cause even though the meltdown is over i am still really upset and i can't fix it. it is not fixable. my brain is loud. i am still really mentally focused on it cause i hadn't finished. the task is not finished so i can't stop thinking about it. i didn't finish. i need to finish so it can be done and go away from my head. can't stop thinking about it and it is like poking at a fresh bruise over and over.

i woke up early this morning. hot. i hope today is easier than yesterday. i don't know yet. i still feel sensitive and raw. emotions bubbling fizzing swelling inside me.

[honnelander]

Hi there! Hope you are doing well. I was just wondering if you quit the “go fish” series. If not— there’s no rush. I just wanted to check in and ask how you are and share my compliments for you. I really like your writing style and how you beautifully capture every moment. Sometimes I even go back to reread your go fish series and appreciate how well you paint the atmosphere and each character’s essence. Are there any authors you take inspiration from or books you recommend?

If you are nervous about finishing the series— don’t be. You’re clearly gifted and should trust your intuition. Remember to take care of yourself first. I think your audience will adore anything you post, so don’t stress over it. And if you have a writer’s block but are still pushing through it, good luck. Thanks again for sharing your meticulously crafted work with the community.

hi there 🥹 thanks for checking in (you and everyone else who has been kind enough to leave asks in my inbox and comments on my posts)

I haven’t quit the series, it’s just taking me a hell of a lot longer to finish it than I ever expected due to a lot of different things. I had hit a writer’s block, have scrapped what I’ve started a few times, or didn’t like the idea I had and I didn’t want to rush anything or put something out there that didn’t feel authentic to the series that has touched thousands of people 🥹😭 I want to get this right.

Since writing has been always something I’ve enjoyed getting lost in, I thought now would be a good time to get back into it, especially since I have a lot of personal stuff going on.

Monthsssss ago I had finally started writing the next part for go fish! that I absolutely loved and then, quite literally had forgotten about it. I just went back to my work and re-read it, and it’s already 4.9 k words! I would love to just post the parts that are finished, because the actual confession everyone’s been waiting for months for isn’t done and will probably be another 3,000 words or so. (I tend to get carried away 😅)

So let me know what you guys would prefer! The finished part is 2.3k words. Would you guys like for me to post that? Or just wait longer to read everything at once? It’s definitely be over 6k words, which is how massive the last part was….(I honestly just might post what’s finished bc I feel bad to have left everyone hanging for so long 🥲)

And thank you, thank you, thank YOU for your (and everyone’s!) kind compliments and high praise- I really don’t feel deserving of any of it but it all truly means so much to me. 🥹🤍

To answer your question, I actually don’t really have an author or inspiration that I draw from 🤔 I used to read a ton as a kid (books and fic) and I guess that has helped me find my writing style? I also write things in a way that scratches an itch I have when I look for fic to read. I want just enough details to set the scene and the feelings of the characters but not be bogged down with too much that it drags the pace down 🫠 I’ll never forget when I read IT by Stephen King and it just dragged on FOREVER bc he would write so much word vomit that (in my opinion) took me out of the story and frustrated me. I wanted to get to the good parts but also not miss anything important, so when I write I try to get to the point 😂😅