#also i have quite a few asks in my inbox right now so answers will take longer than usual !

[soaps-mohawk]

I'm going to be honest

I'm having a genuinely hard time making this post. I've been fighting with it for a couple weeks now, but I think it's time I finally make it.

I'm not having fun on this blog anymore.

It sounds bad, but honestly, it kind of is.

I think a lot of it started from the very beginning with the precedence and expectations I put on myself. I've always tried to respond to every comment I get. Even from the beginning. It's just a polite thing to do since those who leave comments took the time to write out what they think of my fic, even if it's just a keysmash. I've always felt the need to thank those who leave comments or reblog my writing or (now that tumblr has it) replied to my fics. It worked fine before because none of my fics were particularly popular. Even my most popular fic (at that time) didn't get as much attention as CRCB has. I've never had a "big blog" before, nor a fic as popular as CRCB has gotten.

It was fine at first, responding to everyone, engaging with everyone. I was riding that high of omg so many people are reading and enjoying my fic! I've never had anything quite like this before.

Now...it just feels more like a chore. I set this precedence on this blog that I respond to everyone and I know a lot of people have said that they're surprised I responded to them and to everyone, and now I'm getting why a lot of writers don't. I'm exhausted. I feel like I've just been robotically saying the same thing over and over trying to respond to people now. I used to love seeing asks in my inbox and reblogs and replies but now? All I feel is dread because I have to respond to all of those.

Turning anon off was a big help. It lessened the sheer volume of asks I was getting a day. And while I do feel bad for all of my anons who prefer to stay anons, with everything that happened (the multiple incidents) with anon that kind of started to suck the joy out of everything. That paired with the obsessive need to constantly have my inbox cleared and make sure everyone gets a response...I can understand now too why big blogs will have 200+ asks in their inbox. It's hard and it's exhausting and I'm burning out.

First it was the fic that was burning me out. Things have gone on far longer than I planned and I just wasn't prepared for this fic to go on and for a while there it was dragging. I'll admit that. If I could go back, I'd speed up a few things, but it's done, it's posted there's no going back. I kind of hoped I would have the mental capacity to upload more than once a week too, but I just couldn't. I still can't.

I've come to dread posting chapters because I know I'm going to have to reply and respond to everyone. The only thing keeping me posting is the fact that we're in the part of the story I've been excited about since the beginning and also because I keep leaving everyone on cliffhangers and I love torturing y'all with all of them.

So that being said, this is in no way to shame anyone for interacting with me, anyone leaving comments or replies or sending asks. Don't feel bad about doing it please. I appreciate all of you that have engaged with me and it really means so much to me. Honestly, earlier this year, if I didn't have this fic and everyone on this blog, I might not have made it to now. It's been a really rough year and it's still going to be into next year. It's just getting to the point where I need a break.

I've needed a break for a long time. I thought taking days off the blog would help, and it did for a couple of weeks, but now even on the days I'm supposed to be on the blog and engaging, I just find myself queueing stuff up and just being offline most of the day still.

I'm tired. That's the best reason I can give. I'm tired and burned out on life and I'm tired and burned out on this blog.

So...I think I need a break. I need to not keep responding to every single reply and reblog every chapter. I need to not force myself to answer every ask right away, no matter how much I want to. I feel bad, but I know everyone would rather have me here and enjoying the blog than forcing myself to interact to the point where I'm dreading it and just robotically repeating myself over and over with every reply and answer and comment.

I won't be pausing the fic, I won't be not uploading. I'll still be posting chapters, I just might not be interacting as much as I have been. It's just putting such a mental strain on me still, even with anon off, even with days off. And with things getting busier for me, it's going to be too much to try and deal with irl stuff and write and try to be super active on the blog. There's going to come a point where I have to sacrifice the writing or the blog and I'd rather sacrifice the blog to keep myself sane, and also to keep trying to finally get this fic done. I love this fic, don't get me wrong, but I'm just burning out.

I'm already burned out in a lot of ways.

I was planning kinktober this year but honestly I'm considering not doing it because I know interaction is going to be insane and it's going to be a lot to keep up on. Plus trying to write that many fics is hard and I'm not sure I have the ability to do it. I have a few done but now I'm just like...is that something I want to do on top of irl stuff and CRCB.

There's just no joy in it anymore. It's not anyone's fault but mine. I put the pressure on myself, I held myself to that standard for this long despite the fact I knew it was draining me. I've tried to push through when I should have prioritized myself. I feel so guilty not responding to everyone. I feel so guilty being a day or two late responding to everyone.

I want to be here and interacting and responding to things but I just can't bring myself to anymore. It's no one's fault, and this is not a drag on anyone, or an attempt to make anyone feel bad or guilty for interacting or sending asks or anything. I'm just airing out the truth and saying what I need to say because I feel like I've been so robotic and lifeless with my responses these last couple weeks and I feel like I need to explain why. It's nothing anyone has done. It's my fault. It's 100% my fault.

Things have just gotten to be too much and it's my fault for forcing myself to be so active. The social battery has dropped into the negatives. I'm not a social person. I can only handle so much interaction and I've pushed so far beyond that, that things have gotten to this point. I want to be here and I want to have fun and I want to use this as an escape but I just don't feel that way about it anymore. It's a chore for me, a job, something I feel like I have to do and it's my fault that I feel that way. It's my own standards and expectations I set on myself, and my expectations on what I think my followers want and deserve and now I feel like I've gone on too long like this that I can't change things without hurting anyone's feelings. I don't want people to think I'm ignoring them in favor of others because I know there's writers out there that do that. They only respond to a certain group and ignore others that comment and reblog. I don't want to make anyone feel like I'm doing that to them and that's now led me to here.

I'm forcing it and I'm tired.

It's been hard these last few weeks. The life has just been draining and draining continuously. The joy and the love I have for this blog and my followers and the interactions and the fic. The last anon bullshit that happened was just kind of the last nail in the coffin so to speak. The straw that broke the camel's back. Things stopped being fun. It made me feel bad (and not in the guilty way, though that was a part of it) and I'm honestly just over it. I'm over the blog, I'm over interacting, I'm over life at this point. August is a hard month for me and every year it seems to get worse and worse. A lot of it is unrelated to anything online and I was going to make a post about it but honestly I just don't want to. Those that know, know. Those that don't...it doesn't matter.

I'm getting annoyed by the blog, I'm getting annoyed every time I look in my notifications and see an ask or a reply or a comment. I'm getting annoyed by some of my followers and that's not fair to you. Everyone always talks about how nice and kind and patient I am when I'm really not. I'm not the person I present myself to be on this blog, the way I mask myself so I can present myself as being a normal, kind human being. The mask is coming off because I'm so tired I can't keep it up anymore. It's happening here and it's happening in real life. I'm tired and I'm frustrated and I'm angry at a lot of things and the last thing I want is to start taking it out on my followers. You don't deserve that, especially when it's not your fault, it's nothing any of you have done. It's all me.

It's not you, it's me.

So for the sake of not burning this whole thing to the ground, I'm going to take a break. I'm not replying to everyone, I'm not responding to every reblog, I won't reply to every ask I get right away, if at all because sometimes I just don't have anything to say in response and I need to learn that's okay. It's nothing against you. It's not aimed at anyone specifically, I'm just trying to put myself first and stop things from escalating. I need a break and I'm going to do something selfish and I'm going to take it.

Don't apologize because it's not your fault. Don't apologize because you think you might have contributed to this because you didn't. It is no one's fault but my own.

I'm the one that needs to apologize to all of you because I've just not been myself because I've been forcing myself to be someone I'm not. I've been very unfair to a lot of people over the last seven months that this blog has been active and I've held a precedent that is not sustainable in the long run and made everyone believe that I was capable of maintaining that kind of interaction when I'm not.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've been putting everyone through this. I'm sorry I've been so detached and robotic and ingenuine. I'm sorry I led everyone to believe I'm someone I'm not. I'm sorry I've dragged this on this long that it's gotten to the point that I have to make this post.

I considered just disappearing but that wouldn't be fair to you either. I don't want to put you through that, so I'm pouring all of my thoughts out and making you read through this fucking novel of a post. If you've made it this far, then congrats I guess. Gold metals to you who bothered reading this far.

Anyway, all of that aside, I'll still be posting chapters. I'll have them scheduled and I'll probably come on and add links places to keep things current. I'll respond and reply and answer asks when I feel like it. You don't have to stop sending them, but just don't expect them to be responded to right away anymore. I'll probably still be here reblogging things I want and doing things when I feel like it.

I just need a few weeks to myself. Time I don't have to care about the blog at all and keeping up with it. Anon will remain off for the sake of keeping asshole trolls away, and also so I don't open tumblr and have 200 asks in my inbox after a week. Sorry to my anons but it's just the way it needs to be right now. Maybe once this break is over and I've dealt with irl stuff, I'll consider putting it back on. I just can't after everything I dealt with recently on anon.

It'll be the same on Ao3, for those that follow here and read there. Comments will probably sit for a while. They won't be answered right away anymore unless I get the energy to burn through them. Even then I won't try to answer them all at once like I did this last weekend.

I'll try to reblog something every day so y'all know I'm alright. I don't want y'all to panic and it's not fair to put you through that, especially those that might not see this or bother reading it. Those that follow simply for the fic and nothing else. I'm here, I'm just not...here.

This week's chapter is in the queue to be posted tomorrow as usual. Chapters will still come out as planned since I'm not stopping writing, just taking a break from the blog itself.

Thank you those of you who stuck through to the end here. I appreciate all of you so much. You have no idea. I'm sorry I let things get to this point and I'm sorry to anyone that I've gotten rude or snappy with because I couldn't be selfish and put myself first. I'm sorry to anyone that got a robotic, repeated response to something they were probably excited to share. I'm sorry I've been so unfair to everyone and I hope you can forgive me.

Take care and I'll talk to everyone when I have the energy to.

[mxtantrights]

Jason as red hood dropping off lost animals at a shelter and being smitten by one of the volunteers?

a/n: thank you anon for sending this in I could marry you!!! love love love this idea and If you want more.. my inbox is open!! <33 I hope you like it, enjoy!!

You think you'll have a door just for him. Only he can go through it, only he would have the keys to it. And he could come by as he pleases.

Yeah.

It's late at night when he comes in. The bell over the front door rings out and takes you out of your late night work. You were filling up needles for the night crew and also filling out paper work from earlier in the day.

"I've got another one." he says.

You lay down the needle and jog over to the front door. Jason Todd walks in with a cat in his arms. It seems calm and unmoving. It's white fur dirty and a bit matted.

"Highway?" you ask.

You take out your flashlight and carefully look at her pupils. They dilate to the light and track it as your move it around. No signs of a concussion but a scan would really answer that question.

"Yeah, she was doing cars left and right. Didn't seem hurt but you usually do scans right?" He asks you.

You look up at him.

You nod your head, "Yeah I can do an ultra sound...do you mind staying?"

In that moment, you try to dissect the way he's looking at you. No, you didn't mean for it to come out like that. But you did mean to ask. He's the one that saved her from the highway. His presence could help her stay calm.

Jason clears his throat, "Yeah I can, I can stay. Sure."

"Okay, follow me."

-

The cat, who Jason is calling Ziggy, is resting peacefully in a pen on her own. You close the gate gently and lock it after. You turn and look at Jason now.

He's standing a few feet behind you with his arms crossed over his chest. A serious look on his face.

"You know sometimes, it's not always a bad story. Sometimes its a good one." you speak.

"A cat on a highway dodging cars is a good story?" he asks you.

You sigh, "I've had some come in this office with extensive injuries and they were dumped on the highway. In a bag or no bag. Just left to fend for themselves in a dangerous environment."

"How do you do it?" he asks.

"Me being here makes a difference. I'm here when someone like you shows up with an animal in need. You make a difference too Jason." you answer.

He shrugs his shoulders, "I'm just doing what I can."

"Which is more than most do. So give yourself some credit."

"I don't really do that." he says.

"Well, you keep coming around here I'll do it for you." you reply.

He doesn't really answer. He just hums a response. An approving and a quite silent hum. But a hum nonetheless. You smile at that.

You remember the first time he came here and dropped of a lost bird. He barely said more than four words to you. He told you about the bird and then he parted ways. You didn't expect to see him again but he keeps showing up.

And you want him to.

[heyhoeudoin]

do u have general kink hcs for aged up!karma akabane? :’> he’d be such a kinky bastard and i’m such a brat so i’m just over here like 👀

A FUN DISCOVERY

“Karma's Kinks...”

pairing: aged up!karma akabane x reader

words: 0.9k

genre/s: mature, MINORS DNI!

warning/s: swearing, kinks, sex, mentions of dick, no pronouns (unless i slipped)

synopsis: karma's kinks... plus you

masterlist

a/n: answering this before any of the other asks in my inbox right now is unfair (because i just got this the other day), but when i read karma akabane and kinks; something awoken in me. hope you're happy with this because i don't exactly delve with anything sexual and this is essentially my first attempt.

karma akabane is one sadistic hot bastard and so i'm very sure that's a big part in his sexual desires. i also think this guy has a good amount of common kinks, but also has these specific wants during sex.

kinks i'm sure that he'd have:

bare backing (having anal or vaginal sex without a condom)

cum marking (letting a man's semen visibly dry on your skin or keeping a man's semen inside of you via plugs)

the feeling of him raw inside of you just makes it better for him. would he cum inside though? no because he'd rather see his cum sprayed all over you; on your face, on your stomach, on your back, on your ass... anywhere on you. just the image of it makes him all hard again.

begging kink (begging and pleading to have sex, for release/orgasm, to perform an act, etc.)

controlling orgasm (different from orgasm denial/delay because in this your partner gives you all the reasons to cum, but when you are close, they ask you to hold it which can get quite exciting if properly executed and done)

orgasm denial/delay aka edging (type of play where someone's orgasm is denied entirely, limited/ruined or delayed)

are you guys seeing my vision yet?

he loves it when you beg him to cum already. he loves to tease you and making you suffer relentlessly especially when it comes to you finally getting that sweet sweet release. when you tell him that you're about to finish, he suddenly stops all together and waits for a few seconds as you whine loudly to him.

karma loves hearing that whine come out of your mouth and that moan you make after he takes his entire dick out and pounds it back into your hole.

sadism (the kink for providing pain)

an obvious kink of his, but there's layers to it.

bitting (the act of bitting or nipping the skink whether it is to break skin or leave marks) or leaving marks in general

choking

degrader (like to degrade and humiliate their partner either by acting upon them in a degrading way or by forcing them to do things they consider degrading)

face slapping

rigger (likes to restrain their partners, either by physical item [cuffs, ropes, etc.] or instruction [known as mental bondage]. restraint can be full-body, or involve a single body part. bondage may include furnitures and devices)

spanking

he loves leaving marks on you, any kind of marking whether it'd be bites or a shit ton of hickeys. choking you while degrading you is one of his favorite things to do. also slapping your face, especially when you're giving him a blow job. your face turning red from the multiple slaps he'd given you. it makes it look like you're flustered. he also loves spanking your ass since every time he does, you'd make a moan.

but here's some next level sadism (in my opinion):

electric play (playing with electricity and tame shocks well above the lethal level)

wax play (playing with molten hot wax)

he definitely tried other types of plays, but these two are the ones he likes the most. he likes using electricity on your nipples because he loves to watch you bite your lip in pain and let out an airy moan once you get used to the pleasurable pain (he likes watching your nipples slowly perk up as well).

some times when he pounds you from behind, he'd hold a candle above your back and let the wax fall and land there. every time you fell a hot wax drip on your back, you'd arch your back further down and let out a cry of pain that then turns into pleasure.

loud moaning

being dominant

brat tamer

he likes being in control and touching you and making you scream which is why i think he wouldn't like voyeurism because he'd rather do you himself than watch.

public sex

here me out...

he loves to tease you right?

the biggest tease is him fucking you in public. works especially well if you work in the same building/company as him. the thrill of being in a public place where anyone could catch him pounding himself into you. you trying your best to scold him by saying "karma, we're in public!" but ultimately gets shut up by his mouth and/or dick.

that type of excitement; he just can't get enough of it.

and then a kink that i'm not sure he'd have, but it'd be pretty fitting if he did:

crying ("i love to see you cry")

i think that once you start crying either from begging or from something else, he'd fuck you like there's no tomorrow.

crying would be his ultimate turn on (and i'd be fucking terrified).

the first time you cried is when karma tried hot wax on you for the first time (only because you weren't a masochist yet) (yet because karma made you into a masochist).

he watched the wax melt off of the candle and drop onto your exposed back. you cried in pain as your reflexes took over and you flipped yourself onto your back. you stared at karma with tears threatening to fall out of your eyes.

"what the fuck was that?" you asked with a shaky breath as a tear rolled down your cheek.

karma blinked owlishly. then, in a quick second, he hooked his arms under your legs and slammed your back against the wall. his hands flat against the wall, pushing you against it as much as he can. he slammed his dick back inside you and pounded in devilish speed (you cried a bit more, which just fueled him a lot).

let's just say it lasted until the next morning.

masterlist

a/n: i'm very shocked with how this turned out. i actually quite like what i wrote here.

[storm-angel989]

Don’t try to force yourself to make content, okay? Self care is way more important than putting stuff out, even if it makes others happy! Us fans will gladly wait until you’re mentally and emotionally ready!😉 Also drink water and eat real food, not just snacks!!!

Hi Friend,

Thank you so, so much for your kind words- I read your message as soon as it popped into my inbox and I did exactly as you said <3 I took the weekend, had some real food, rode a few horses and all of the sudden, a story I've been working on clicked (and I wrote a few more!)

As with all things, I expect it to ebb and flow but I appreciate everyones love, care a support more than words can express! Please enjoy below story and thank you again so so much for your love and patience!

<3 Mandy

Angel recognized the sound, and apparently Valentino did too. 

The noise in itself was a concern. But it was Valentino’s reaction to it that interested Angel the most. In the middle of what was supposed to be an important shoot, Angel watched Valentino rush off down the darkened hallway only to reappear moments later with a look on his face Angel couldn’t quite distinguish. Softness, maybe? Whatever it was, it disappeared the moment Valentino sat back down.

“Angel, what the fuck are you doing?” Valentino snarled as he raked his glowing eyes over the set. “Lay down and read the fucking lines.” 

As with all things, Angel obeyed. 

Now, as Angel stood in the entryway to his dressing room, that same noise from the week prior floated down from the hallway. Soft, childlike giggles in an empty studio. A sense of unease washed over Angel.  As abusive as Valentino was, he still had boundaries- and allowing kids in his studio was a hard one. Surely, Angel had to be hearing things. Maybe an actor or actress with a childlike voice. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right. If there was, in fact, a kid running around in here it would be easy to get lost. Hell, sometimes he even found himself turned around and he had spent years here. 

Hesitantly, Angel walked down the familiar labyrinth of halls and rooms. 

“Hello?” he called out softly. 

Silence answered him.

“I have gotta stop drinkin before shoots,” he muttered to himself as he turned away.

“Papi?” A girlish voice came from behind him. “Papi!” 

Angel jumped and whirled around as tiny arms grabbed at his waist. Blonde hair, blue eyes, human like- Angel couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He opened his mouth to ask her who she was, but she began before he could get a word in.

“You’re not Daddy. You’re a stranger,” the child shouted as she jerked away from him. “I want Daddy.” 

Angel bit back his surprise. “Does..does your Daddy have a name?”

“Daddy.” 

Of course. Typical kid answer. Angel wracked his brain as memories flooded through. Images of his own baby sister, from his human life, floated through. Painful reminders of a distant past he tried to keep pushed down. With a deep breath, he knelt down to her level. 

“Okay kid, what does your daddy look like?”

“Daddy is tall. And he wears heart shaped glasses. And a big cozy red coat. But only when he goes to work. And I think this is Daddy’s work.” She answered confidently.

Angel felt his stomach drop. Val had a kid? Fuck, Val had a daughter? Shit. What should he do now? If he brought her back to Valentino, would he get punished? Forced to work extra hours for daring to find out his secret? But as he looked at the little girl, the sinking feeling grew sharper. He couldn’t leave her here. It wasn’t safe. And if he tried to send her back to where she came from, she’d probably end up lost- or worse. Seeing no other option, Angel took a deep breath.

“Come with me then, kid I’ll take you to yer dad. You got a name?” He offered her his hand. 

To his surprise, the little girl took it and walked next to him. “Reader. What’s yours?”

“Angel,” he replied as he focused on the hallway ahead. The feeling of her small hand in his, the familiarity of a tiny voice, a little human by his side. Flashes of his own past, his human life. Painful fragments that shattered through his mind like glass shards. He tried to swallow them back with each step they took towards Valentino’s office. 

“Daddy!” 

The little girl’s yell jerked Angel back to attention. He let go of her hand as she raced across the empty studio and to his shock, she jumped into Valentino’s arms. Angel watched as the overlord of lust and depravity wrapped the little girl up and kissed her on the forehead. 

“Bebita princessa, where were you? You have your Uncle Vox all worried!” Valentino scolded in a voice Angel had never heard him use before. 

“You promised Daddy! You promised a piggy back ride and you left!” She shrieked in response as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “You promised!” 

Angel thought for sure Valentino would hit her. Or at the very least, scold her the same way he did his employees. Instead, he watched Valetnino’s expression soften. 

“I know mi amore, I’m sorry,” he told her, “but you have to go up to Uncle Vox now, Papi has to work. Later tonight, I promise.” 

Suddenly, as if he instantly became aware Angel was watching, he jerked his head up. Their eyes met and Angel couldn’t read the expression on Valentino’s face. Anger? Appreciation? 

“So, uh, you have a kid?” Angel asked as he crossed his arms. “I, uh, found her in the back. Down the hallway. She was lookin for ya.” 

Valentino’s expression changed to one Angel knew inherently well. Cold, merciless impassion. 

“If you tell anyone, I will fucking kill you,” he stated. “Don’t think I won’t.” 

That, Angel didn’t doubt. He opened his mouth to promise he wouldn’t, but before he could get a word in, Reader’s voice floated through the empty room. 

“Daddy? What’s fucking mean?” 

Angel watched as Valentino’s expression went from cold to…unsure? Uneasy? Angel couldn’t tell. 

“I, uh, don’t worry about it baby, it’s,” Valentino stammered.

“An adult word. Only adults can use it,” Angel answered quickly. 

To Angel’s surprise, Valentino looked relieved at his explanation. The ping of the elevator and Valentino turned away. 

“Angel. Don’t be here when I get back.” Valentino said sharply. “I’ll call you when I need you again.”

“Does that mean I get the night off?” Angel called to the retreating figure. 

No answer. Angel shrugged and back in his dressing room, he pulled on his jacket. Might as well spend the rest of the night at the hotel. After all, Fat Nuggets could use a little extra attention.

[moodymelanist]

if you are accepting smut requests for a nessian drabble, could we get cassian buying a new vibrator for nesta 👀 thank you!

happy sunday! you absolutely can hehe. my inbox is open all month long for other ideas 🫶🏽

For the vibrator in question I was thinking something like this.

Cassian had been home for nearly an hour, doing his best to stay quiet about his little surprise while Nesta enjoyed a book on the couch next to him, when he finally cracked. “I got you something while I was out.”

“Hmm?” Nesta said, not quite looking up from her book. That was alright; he’d have her full attention soon enough anyway.

“I said I got you something,” he repeated. Just like he thought, she immediately moved her bookmark so she could look up properly. “You wanna come see?”

Cassian had been out running some actual errands — mostly buying some new clothes for work and picking up his and Nesta’s dry cleaning for the week — when he’d just so happened to drive by his favorite store. They’d also just so happened to have some new vibrators in stock, and he’d been in the mood to see how long it would take to get Nesta off using one of them.

Not that Nesta had any idea of that at the moment, anyway. But Cassian knew his wife, and he knew she’d be more than willing once he did fill her in on his plans for the afternoon. It hadn’t been hard to sneak the bag inside with all the other things he’d been carrying, and it had only taken him a few minutes to wash his newest purchase, lightly pat it dry, and plug it in to make sure he could use every minute of that battery life.

Nesta’s eyes briefly narrowed as she tried to figure out just what Cassian had in store for her, but he wasn’t giving anything away. After a few moments, she just sighed and closed her book properly. “Fine. Lead the way.”

“Mhmm.” Cassian grinned before leaning in to steal a kiss, thoroughly enjoying the way Nesta parted for him. “Follow me.”

Once they were in their bedroom, Cassian didn’t waste any time. “Take off your clothes.”

“And they say romance is dead,” Nesta replied with a roll of her eyes. Cassian grinned before he closed the door and leaned against it, his pants already tightening as he watched her shrug out of her loungewear. “Now what?”

“You could at least fold your clothes,” he answered, his grin widening as her eye gave a slight twitch. “Whatever you’re thinking about doing, I wouldn’t.”

“I’m not thinking about anything except being good,” she told him a bit too innocently. She bent down and collected her clothes, making a big show of folding them nice and neatly before laying them on top of the dresser. “See? All done.”

“Gold star,” he responded, pushing himself off the door so he could pull her into a kiss. Her skin was so soft and warm under his hands it was a miracle he could stay focused on the task at hand, but he somehow managed to remember his actual goal after a few moments. “Mhmm. Lay down on the bed, I’ll be right back.”

“With my surprise?” she asked. “It better be a good one with all this buildup.”

“Be a good girl so I don’t have to blindfold you,” he said, nipping at her lower lip before letting go of her. “Don’t make me think of something actually mean.”

“Whatever you say,” she said back. She slid a hand down his body to cup him through his pants, a satisfied little noise escaping her as she squeezed his rapidly hardening cock. “Mhmm. Don’t keep me waiting that long.”

“Whatever you say,” he repeated, teasing her just a little. He swatted her ass lightly in retaliation before actually taking a few steps away from her. “Bed. Now. I’ll be right back.”

Nesta pouted a little but turned to do what he said. Cassian allowed himself one last look before he went into their bathroom, pleased when he saw the new vibrator was fully charged. It wasn’t anything fancy — just one of those vibrators that offered both internal and external stimulation — but that hadn’t been the main reason Cassian had picked it up.

That honor belonged to how the vibrator had a remote control function. Cassian and Nesta weren’t in a long-distance relationship, but he was sure thankful to the people who were so that something like this could even exist. He took a final moment to make sure everything was set up correctly on his phone, and then it was go time.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Cassian asked as he entered their bedroom, stopping in his tracks at the sight before him.

“You were taking so long,” Nesta answered, spreading her legs even wider as she continued to pump two fingers into her cunt. “I couldn’t help myself.”

“I’m sure you couldn’t,” he replied. He closed the distance between them and kneeled on the bed, reaching out with his free hand so he could grab her wrist. “You’re lucky I’m feeling nice.”

“I’m always lucky,” she told him, gasping as he pulled her fingers out to replace them with two of his own. She took him easily, silently asking for more by the way she rolled her hips, but he wouldn’t get distracted so close to the finish line. “Cassian…”

“Hmm?” he asked, slowing down just enough to frustrate her. It was hard feigning nonchalance with her spread bare beneath him like this, but they both enjoyed it that way. “Did you need something?”

“You know what,” she answered. She knew better than to try and speed up the pace herself, but he could tell how bad she wanted to.

“Yeah, I do,” he said, just a little mean. “You’re getting something else today. Open up, sweetheart.”

Nesta didn’t hesitate to open her mouth, and Cassian’s cock twitched in his pants as he watched her accept his fingers. She swirled her tongue around them the same way she’d do to his cock if he gave her the chance, and God did he want to let her.

Not now, though. This was about her; he’d get his opportunity some other time.

Once his fingers were licked sufficiently clean, Cassian pulled his hand away from Nesta’s mouth and sat down on the bed properly. He was still holding the vibrator in his left hand, so he transferred it to right hand so he could finally unveil his plan.

“You ever tried one of these, Nes?” Cassian asked. At the shake of her head no, he continued on. “It vibrates on both ends.”

“Where are the buttons?” Nesta said, eyeing him suspiciously.

“You don’t need them right now,” he said back. “I’ll control the speed through my phone.”

“Oh.” She subtly opened her legs even further, and he knew he’d won. “What are you waiting for?”

“A ‘please’ would be nice,” he retorted, smirking as he placed the tip of the vibrator against her cunt. She was so wet it wouldn’t take much to push it inside her, and

“Please, oh please, would you torture me with your new vibrator,” she replied flatly. It didn’t land as hard given the way she gasped as he pushed the vibrator inside her, but it was cute that she thought he wouldn’t take her at her word.

“Be careful what you wish for,” he answered, opening his phone and getting all the settings just right before he turned the vibrator on.

“Cassian, I was kidding,” she tried to backtrack immediately, but the damage was done. He just smiled at her before hitting the on button. “Cass— oh, fuck!”

He’d put it on the second-highest setting just to prove a point, only letting her writhe on the bed for a few moments before turning it down to a much more reasonable halfway point. She was breathing hard from the sudden vibration, a delicious flush spreading across her cheeks, and he wondered how many times he’d have to make her come before he could make it spread further down.

“I’m not feeling as nice anymore, sweetheart,” Cassian said once she’d calmed down a little. “Give me a number.”

“What?” Nesta said back, her eyes a little dazed. She was rocking her hips, chasing the vibration against the clit while trying to fuck the vibrator a little deeper, and while he respected her eagerness, he needed her to listen to him. He reached out and pinched her thigh hard enough to make her squeal and she finally said, “I — I don’t — um, six?”

“Six?” he repeated calmly. “You’re sure about that?”

He hadn’t quite made up his mind about whether it would be six orgasms, keeping the vibrator at the sixth setting all night, or edging her six times, but it sure was fun watching her squirm on what she thought he would do. “Um. No. Seven?”

“Lucky number seven,” he replied. Orgasms it was. “That’s how many times you’re going to come tonight.”

“Oh, fuck,” she moaned, immediately stopping how she was rocking her hips to try and hold back her impending orgasm. “Does— does this one count as one of them?”

“I don’t know,” he pretended to muse as he unlocked his phone. “It feels a little… unfair, doesn’t it? What do you think, Nes?”

“I think it’s perfectly fair,” she answered through gritted teeth.

Cassian upped the intensity to the next level, smirking as Nesta tried to fight the vibration’s inevitable conclusion. “I mean, you did have a bit of head start.”

“Cassian, please,” she moaned, trying to arch away from the vibrator. Unluckily for her, there was really nowhere to go. “Fuck, I’m so close, I can’t—”

“I guess we can count it, then,” he told her with a put-upon sigh. Sensing the was really at the end of her rope, he leaned forward and pressed the vibrator harder against her clit, thoroughly enjoying the way she cried out at the added sensation. “Come for me, sweetheart.”

Nesta’s entire body tensed as she came, and she moaned something that sounded like a mix of several curse words combined with his name. Cassian didn’t turn the vibrator completely off, but he took a little pity on her and decided to turn the vibrator down to the lowest setting.

“There’s one,” Cassian murmured, gently rubbing circles into Nesta’s ankle.

He couldn’t help but chuckle to himself as he waited for her to catch her breath enough for them to continue. It was going to be a long night.

tag list: @perseusannabeth | @bookstantrash | @fieldofdaisiies | @goddess-aelin | @c-e-d-dreamer | @talkfantasytome | @whyisaravenlike-awritingdesk | @sv0430 | @talibunny30 | @unlikelypersonalknight1 | @champanheandluxxury | @lilah-asteria | @burningsnowleopard | @sayosdreams | @readskk | @simpingfornestaarcheron | @bellaful08 | @readergalaxy | @podemechamardek | @pearlfortears | @nerdperson524 | @jmoonjones | @kale-theteaqueen | @autumnbabylon | @hiimheresworld | @illyrianshadowhunter | @dustjacketmusings | @live-the-fangirl-life | @that-little-red-head | @sweet-pea1 | @brieq | @queercontrarian | @jsmelodies | @afflicted-with-wanderlust

[sugurugetofavoritemonkey]

Hi, Tatsuo! This has been in my head for quite a few times, may I request a story when suguru's s/o who's a sorcerer asked him, "If I were just a normal human, would you let me live?"

considering their relationship and how much they love each other 🥹 thank you very much!

Welcome my love ! 💗 I absolutely adooooore this request and was very inspired by this idea so thank you a lot for coming in my inbox with that wonderful story ! I hope I did good with the little thing that I wrote and don’t hesitate to come back here to tell me if you liked it, have a very nice day/night 💓

You were peacefully resting your head on Suguru’s lap, his monk attire feeling soft under your cheek as you felt your soulmate tenderly caressing your hair while he hummed calmly to you. And before you know it, the question escapes your lips in a whisper.

« If I were just a normal human, would you let me live ? »

Suguru’s hand stilled in your hair at the question, and at this exact moment you were afraid of the sheer honesty of his answer, closing your eyes in prevention. But when his hand started to caress your head as gently as before, you opened them back again.

« I know that the answer I should give you is no, I know it…after all I…I…killed my parents…I had to…I really had to….I had to », Suguru repeats these same words as a way to persuade himself, his voice sad and strangled as he tries his best to hold his ground, he couldn’t waver in front of you he thought, as he must be strong for you in order to protect you. You hold his free hand tighter, effectively soothing his pain away. His voice then starts to be perfectly clear and confident with his honest answer to come, the only one that Suguru knows to be real.

« But I also know that I could never live without you from now on, I know it’s selfish and doesn’t make any sense with my plan, but…but…I would burn the whole world to the ground in order to save you, than to live a single day without seeing your pretty smile, or feeling your soft lips against mine, hearing you say that you love me or feeling your hand caressing my cheek when we look at each other in the night, that I am sure of. »

After Suguru has finished talking, you try your best not to let out all the tears that gathered around your eyes. And you could have, if Suguru wouldn’t have gently took your face in his hands in order to make you sat up and look at him. Just for you to notice that you weren’t the only one being moved by his declaration, a few tears rolling on Suguru’s alabaster skin, as he closes the gap between your bodies to kiss you fervently, his hands sitting on your jaw as a way to deepen the embrace even more. Suguru needed to feel your presence, to show you that he meant those words and that right now he was okay with being selfish if it meant that he could live the rest of his life kissing you everyday like he does at the moment.

🤍 Suguru Geto Masterlist 🤍

[windvexer]

hello new followers :)

Heya my buds, quite a few new followers recently and some inbox chaos along with that. Therefore, quick PSA:

This iteration of Windvexer has been around for about 3 years now, and I'm now getting more asks than I have actual time to answer.

I like being theory/techniques/troubleshooting guy. I do not like being "please google this for me and tell me the answers you got" guy.

I don't have the time to do research for people right now. It's also not really that fun for me. It's not like I have a mystical magus wizard library with the true secrets. I am also just going to google it.

If you send an ask that is just asking me to look up correspondences for you, I will probably not answer it.

I do not usually prefer to help people interpret their own spreads. Due to my magical beliefs about divination, I do not think this is usually helpful in an anonymous and passive context anyway.

(I did recently offer to interpret a spread for someone so I'm not surprised or upset more asks like this are in my inbox, but just an FYI, I do not usually do them).

I know my masterposts are old and out of date, but I would really appreciate it if you just look to see if there are already linked posts that answer your question.

***Because of all the asks I'm getting now, even if I had been answering similar questions in the past, does not mean I can necessarily do that now.***

I know my thing is publishing an essay with every ask but to keep up with how things are going now, my answers are going to have to get a lot shorter, or I'm going to have to start deleting a lot more asks.

Either way something has to be rebalanced. I know how people can read into things so I thought I'd just make an announcement upfront :)

[ingravinoveritas]

Hello, lovely followers. I was traveling for work again in the second half of this past week, but I'm now home and looking forward to answering all of your Asks that I've been seeing in my inbox. I first wanted to reflect a little bit, however, because this trip was also a personal one for me.

This week's travels took me to Anaheim, California, which is where Disneyland is (I think I actually must've not been far from where David and Georgia just were, funnily enough, as my hotel was right by the park). It wasn't my first trip to Anaheim, though. The last time I was there was when I was 11 years old, on summer vacation with my dad in California while my mom was on a tour in Italy at the same time. As you'd expect, my dad wanted to take me to Disneyland...but I was too scared and overwhelmed, and we only ever got as far as the parking lot. The gates were visible, and I remember how they loomed, that feeling of something foreboding washing over me...but rather than excitement, my tiny body was filled with dread. I mentioned this while in conversation with one of the hotel employees during my stay, and he said, "What kind of kid doesn't want to go to Disney?"

What kind of a kid. Well, an autistic kid. A kid who was constantly anxious, emotional, and terrified of sensory overload. A kid who hated crowds and noise and rides. A kid who didn't travel well to begin with, because she was afraid of new places, anything unfamiliar, anything that wasn't safe and home.

A kid who was me.

Even before this, there were so many ways that the world had said "This is not for you." But still, there was something different about it happening there, in the bright California sunshine. My favorite Disney princess as a kid was always Belle, because she also loved to read and didn't fit in with the people around her. Belle connected more with books and animals than people, and that made me connect with her. But Belle was also beautiful (as Disney princesses tend to be), and thanks to the bullying from my peers, I was very aware that was something I was not. So no matter how much I wanted to be Belle, there was no way I could ever be a Disney princess.

This is not for you.

Thinking about all of this during my trip made me feel so many things, but I was most surprised to find myself feeling a sense of nostalgia in particular, a longing for the child I was, who I wish I could comfort. It also made me feel such sadness for that child and anyone else who finds themselves in a situation or a place where the world thinks they should be happy, but they're not. And there are few things more difficult than feeling that way in (of all places) "the happiest place on Earth."

I didn't end up going to Disney on this trip, even though I had a little bit of time to do so. It's still not for me, but the difference now is that I am okay with that. That need to be the kid who wants to visit Disney--the "good" child, the child who isn't "broken"--has gone away, and I'm more than happy being adult me, and finding a place that fits me, instead of the other way around.

And that was my nostalgia trip, in quite the literal sense of the phrase. I have a picture or two to share in another post, so stay tuned for that as well...

[alacants]

Okay feel free to leave this in the depths of your ask box haha but I had to get it out. I don't think Sincaraz have a compelling dynamic at all? IDK the whole "Fedal 2.0" thing just feels manufactured a bit by ATP marketing. I simply feel there is a lack of matching each other's freak therefore I am obviously going to dump some rarepair discourse in your inbox sorry

Jannik seems like someone who's only really comfortable with the few people he's really close to & so in Fic Land I think that translates most compellingly to a friends to lovers thing with Matteo or Jack. Alternatively I think Janholger enemies to lovers is so fun. Angst/sexual tension of your rightful "destiny" on tour being "stolen" etc etc. Great hate sex potential.

I know Carlos pining over Jannik is a popular take but to be honest I think Carlos acts around Jannik the same way he acts around every man he meets (cuddly golden retriever) & people only notice it with Jannik because they're direct rivals. I honestly think the most fun Carlos ships are the more unexplored ones. Carlos & Grigor could be good (how are there no fics for them yet?). Or Ben? They vibe on the same silly level

dying, poor anon, based on the back-to-back asks you've been holding this in for a while, huh. re: your first ask, this is a safe space in the sense that i'm not going to respond with "but ACTUALLY it's REAL." at the same time you did just come to a known yapper with a prompt that is implicitly about metanarratives in sports fandoms.

because, i mean, that's the thing. this is a sports fandom. full of sports fans. the narratives on the court aren't just a vehicle for the personalities off the court—they're why we're here. and love it or hate it sincaraz is one of THE narratives. partly because, yeah, tennisworld is desperate for the next fedal.¹ but also partly because they play insane and unbelievable tennis against each other. we are always talking about miami and indian wells because no matter how many times you watch those points they never get more normal. 

like, the "carlos pining" take—you're coming at it from the perspective of how they interact backstage, so to speak. others are coming at it from the perspective of carlos talking up jannik as his biggest rival for two straight years, when he was the youngest no. 1 in history and jannik was Just Some Guy. "because they're direct rivals" IS the answer. (i know it wasn't actually a question.)

this is obviously not everyone's reason for shipping it or the only reason they ship it.² (and beloved mutuals please do NOT start an indirect back-and-forth through my inbox of "but actually carlos DOES treat jannik differently here's 39841038490 specific pieces of evidence" because i have a real job to do today.) just, it's not incidental to the appeal. it is the appeal.

just cut a gazillion words about early fedal and the future of tennis. ok your real message here is that the things you find most compelling have been underaddressed by fandom. this is fair. as someone who enjoys several ships that have nothing to do with rivalry or metanarratives and everything to do with They Just Really Like Each Other, i get where you're coming from. honest. i think with jannik/matteo in particularly you're looking at a promising future, like, we're in a shipping boom right now! whether that will translate to fic is an open question. (i feel like the jannik/jack miniboom didn't result in that much fic but i also didn't go looking because i am not compelled by jack draper. sorry beloved mutuals.) i believe in the power of matteo's face to deliver but i think maybe promptfest could be an early bellwether—there were quite a few jannik/matteo prompts.

(i'll also take this opportunity to note that i doooo hope that promptfest will produce some rarepair fills and prompt amnesty is ongoing. once again please don't flood the form with 20 prompts but if you want to drop one or two for a ship you can't believe is missing from the table…)

size is a challenge here. if the current iteration of tennis fandom were bigger sincaraz would still be the main course but at least you'd have other things to eat as well. rarepair would mean "ugh there's only a dozen fics in the tag" instead of "ugh there are zero fics in the tag." however that is somewhat out of our hands.

so the real, actual solution is… be the change you wish to see. this is not a very satisfying answer. believe me. beLIEVE me. i understand. but after MONTHS OF LABOR³ i'm starting to see the fruits of my rareishpair efforts and i believe you can too. take your character insights and flesh them out a bit, string a couple anecdotes into a narrative (optional), add some illustrative visuals, boom. mayafritzes' janholger post totally sold me and i think a lot of other people! (would loooove to read jannik/holger/invisible presence of carlos alcaraz fic.) of the ships you mention i would particularly enjoy seeing you or someone else do this for ben/carlos. :D if you can seed the ground with a fic that also helps. 

sorryyyyy i realize you're just venting and not asking for either deep analysis or action items. this is the risk of coming to my askbox though. 😔 best of luck finding food that is better suited to your palate, i hope you don't have to cook it ALL for yourself. :(

--

¹ this is a strategy that is destined to fail btw. which makes it especially appealing (meta)narratively. they built a statue of us / and they put it on a mountaintop…

² re: jannik: i am actually totally on the same page with you in that i think he VERY much wouldn't be comfortable around carlos. the difference is that i think that just makes the fic potential more interesting. SORRYYYYYYYY.

³ obviously this is exaggeration for comedic effect… to a point. people here were shipping it already and it's the fact that i did see a brief discussion in the ferru tag that finally pushed me get on tumblr instead of just pour all my thoughts directly into bff texts. but the discussion had yet to produce fic. so, rolls up sleeves. hasn't escaped me that fic #5 is yet to appear tho.

[honnelander]

Hi there! Hope you are doing well. I was just wondering if you quit the “go fish” series. If not— there’s no rush. I just wanted to check in and ask how you are and share my compliments for you. I really like your writing style and how you beautifully capture every moment. Sometimes I even go back to reread your go fish series and appreciate how well you paint the atmosphere and each character’s essence. Are there any authors you take inspiration from or books you recommend?

If you are nervous about finishing the series— don’t be. You’re clearly gifted and should trust your intuition. Remember to take care of yourself first. I think your audience will adore anything you post, so don’t stress over it. And if you have a writer’s block but are still pushing through it, good luck. Thanks again for sharing your meticulously crafted work with the community.

hi there 🥹 thanks for checking in (you and everyone else who has been kind enough to leave asks in my inbox and comments on my posts)

I haven’t quit the series, it’s just taking me a hell of a lot longer to finish it than I ever expected due to a lot of different things. I had hit a writer’s block, have scrapped what I’ve started a few times, or didn’t like the idea I had and I didn’t want to rush anything or put something out there that didn’t feel authentic to the series that has touched thousands of people 🥹😭 I want to get this right.

Since writing has been always something I’ve enjoyed getting lost in, I thought now would be a good time to get back into it, especially since I have a lot of personal stuff going on.

Monthsssss ago I had finally started writing the next part for go fish! that I absolutely loved and then, quite literally had forgotten about it. I just went back to my work and re-read it, and it’s already 4.9 k words! I would love to just post the parts that are finished, because the actual confession everyone’s been waiting for months for isn’t done and will probably be another 3,000 words or so. (I tend to get carried away 😅)

So let me know what you guys would prefer! The finished part is 2.3k words. Would you guys like for me to post that? Or just wait longer to read everything at once? It’s definitely be over 6k words, which is how massive the last part was….(I honestly just might post what’s finished bc I feel bad to have left everyone hanging for so long 🥲)

And thank you, thank you, thank YOU for your (and everyone’s!) kind compliments and high praise- I really don’t feel deserving of any of it but it all truly means so much to me. 🥹🤍

To answer your question, I actually don’t really have an author or inspiration that I draw from 🤔 I used to read a ton as a kid (books and fic) and I guess that has helped me find my writing style? I also write things in a way that scratches an itch I have when I look for fic to read. I want just enough details to set the scene and the feelings of the characters but not be bogged down with too much that it drags the pace down 🫠 I’ll never forget when I read IT by Stephen King and it just dragged on FOREVER bc he would write so much word vomit that (in my opinion) took me out of the story and frustrated me. I wanted to get to the good parts but also not miss anything important, so when I write I try to get to the point 😂😅

[quitealotofsodapop]

[You did send a less detailed version of this ask a few days ago, I just hadn't gone through my inbox enough XD] + [I love the detailed responses though! It's nice to see so much interest in my silly aus!]

okay! I thought I sent one but I couldn't quite remember if I did XD Sometimes I feel like I ramble too much so I'm glad you like these! if it's not to much trouble do you mind answer the og post, you don't have to actually make any comments on it contents but I'm keeping notes on Slow boiled au for the fanfic I'm writing and their might be some details in there I forgot about, thank you.

[Peaches. Some days his brain/body just decides "Eww no. bleh. Spit it out right now" and the nausea hits him hard. Wukong is dismayed whenever it happens.]

at some point in s3 MK walks in on Monkey King crying over a peach with a single bite taken out of it, Wukong having gotten emotional when he his body couldn't handle the peach + stress (I headcanon that part of his obsession with peaches are because peaches are a comfort food for him, so not being able to eat one when stressed hit him pretty hard).

[Think of it like the formation of a geode - it can do it either over a natural couple of centuries, or in a few months with intervention.]

the geode comparison is really cool! especially considering it's a stone egg.

[it's possible MK *remembers* being held by someone soft with a round belly + gold eyes. He assumes throughout his life that this person was his birth mother before he was given up/orphaned.]

imagine monkey king asking MK about his family, wantingto know how his brother's reincarnations are doing, and MK talks about them then mentions he was actually adopted and MK offhandedly mentioning the one memory he has of his "birth mother" to Monkey king and monkey king just being like "oh. oh no."

[So that Stone Egg been slow boiling from anywhere between 1394 to 1116 years. 0_o] + [Either way SWK has beaten Lao Tzu/Zi's mom (pregnant for 62-80 years), and def brags about that fact to whatever immortal will hear.]

honestly, after that long, he's earned bragging rights.

[DBK overhears LBD making threatening references to Wukong's conditon and immediately interrupts her villainy bs to yell at his sworn brother.]

LBD just giving up and leaving as the two bicker is hilarious. it also has the affect of eleveating some of Wukong's stress about LBD returning, and making him feel better about the rift between him and his brother once DBK accepts his proposal to be the egg's godparent. evn if offering such a title to someone other then Ao Lie leaves a bittersweet taste in his mouth. he knows Ao Lie would't mind him giving the title to someone he trusted, but he'd always been so sure that someone would be Ao Lie.

[After the initial shock wears off, PIF immediately summons a catalog to look for baby shower supplies. This is a monumentous occassion!]

all negitive feelings are forgotten when the excitement of a new baby within the sworn family is brought into everything + learning that Wukong very possibly could have lost his own child by helping with the Samadhi fire ritual, something he did becuase he was one of the few who could help them from losing their own child. from mother to mother(?), she understands how hard of a call that must have been to make.

[She ofc assumes it's Macaque's fault (she's not wrong XD) and that this might be her future sworn niece/nephew! She simply must organise everything for her idiot sworn brother and his mate!]

when Yuebei is born and has dark fur and glowing ears she feels it is confirmed that her assumption Macaque was the other parent was correct, no one corrects her about the bio parent situation.

[Red blinks in confusion before confronting the Monkie Kid gang about it later. Mei demands PIF's contact details right that second so that they can swap party ideas.]

red son is just going "WTH WTH WTH" the whole time as they explain, Mei would absolutely insert herself into baby shower planing the moment the idea is brought up.

[Macaque spends most of S3 trying to bat away any thoughts/predictive sounds of a happy domestic life him and Wukong cna have together.]

its dangerous to be thinking of such things with the lady bone demon breathing down his neck, but he can't help it. it gets overwhelming sometimes, the sounds of domestic moments from the past mixing with possible futures leave him questioning what it is exactly he wants anymore. but those are thoughts to process when LBD is defeated and the world isn't on the cusp of being destroyed. now of Wukong didn't put himself and the egg in one of the most compramising positions ever by being possessed in the meantime, that would be great. he makes up his mind the moment a just freed monkey king collapses into his arms crying like this is the only hug he's ever had in his life.

[Yuebei's first immortal kill is in fact LBD, preformed before she was even born. Once the switch "flipped" on the possesed SWK, the Egg recognised LBD as both a threat to her parent and a tasty source of Dao, hence; nom-nom-nom.] + [All thats left behind of the ancient bone demon is a picked-clean skull.]

not even out of the womb and already earning her "god killer" title. Wukong always guessed any kid that was solely his would be a menace, but now he's starting to get a little concerned.

I was doing some doodles for this au and I had the idea of Yuebei getting a staff of her own from her parents and I wanted it to have something to do with LBD's skull, but I couldn't make the design work. so I actually had the idea of her having her staff and wearing the front of LBD's skull like a mask. she legit wearing the skeletal face of her first kill, creepy, stylish, and effective at scaring off her enemies.

[Ah, a fellow party crasher, just like her baba.]

Wukong appreciates the hustle, but could she be a menace to everyone except him and is poor body please? he just got put through hell and now he's gotta get this egg outta him and that's probably gonna be less fun then getting possessed.

[Wukong and Macaque can barely enjoy the bowl of noodles they've stolen (in good humor) from MK when Wukong's face just drops from a shift in his body.]

Macaque feels Wukong's body suddenly go rigid and is confused, then he sees the look on Wukong's face and just knows. as soon as Wukong starts ordering Ne Zha to go get Guanyin he's instantly fussing and getting things ready for the undoubtedly long few hours ahead. surprisingly, the two monkeys are basically the only ones not panicking at this point, them and Guanyin once they're on the scene.

[Tang: "Oh gracious Buddha! The bodhisattva Guanyi herse-- oh gosh this is a lot grosser than I was expecting..." *gets woozy and hides face in Pigsy's chest*]

no matter the incarnation, every reincarnation of the golden cicada is squeamish.

[Imagine how much crying would be involved if little Yuebei just so happened to be born six-eared as well?] + [Hard to refute their claims when the little Monkey Princess has such lovely midnight-dark fur and glowing ears.]

I like to think that she wouldn't have his six sensitive ears because she didn't actually have the genetics for it, but her appearance could still be pushed so her ears do still glow a little.

even if their aren't six ears, the instant Macaque sees her ears glowing he would not be able to stop himself from squealing with joy and practically side tackling Wukong as he is incoherently babbling about how much he loves her.

[He def recorded a tape + wrote letters to Yuebei before she was born ala "For Steven" in Steven Universe... just in case his immortality didn't work in the end.]

he def let Guanyin know before hand so that if things did go wrong they'd know the tapes/letters were there to give to his infant.

[Little Yuebei spent so much time in the "final run" hearing show tunes, action movies, and the voices of Wukong's new found family/troop that she thinks theses are all "good noises"!]

this is super cute!

but to make a good thing angsty, what if she also has "bad noises" that she associates with certain things. what if when they first met Azure she was super aggressive towards him at first because she "remembers" hearing him being really mean and/or straight up hurting Wukong at some point in the journey. and what if she also isn't that trusting of macaque at first because she also only ever "heard" him when he was in the process of trying to hurt her baba and his friends, both in his first life and now in his second. this def upsets Macaque but also he did do that so he's the one who's gotta make up for it, luckily yuebei seems to warm up to him quickly when she sees him and Wukong being cuddly and reconciling.

[Yuebei decided that "Kitty" wasn't playing with her, wasn't holding her right, and wasn't even singing to her! And she wanted to make her frustrations known.]

c'mon Azure, if you're gonna hold a super strong baby that already doesn't like you the least you can do is try and keep her happy and preoccupied. he's got no one but himself to blame

sequel to this post!

Im uber excited to read more your fic btw!

[I headcanon that part of his obsession with peaches are because peaches are a comfort food for him, so not being able to eat one when stressed hit him pretty hard]

Wukong associates peaches with 1: Food security, 2: His Immortality, and most importantly, 3: His friendship/romance with Macaque. So his body deciding to reject peaches is a huge stresser for him, which leads to more stress and more nausea and less peaches, in an endless cycle. Peach chips at least dont seem to trigger the worst of his food adversion though, the crunchy chip texture seems to cancel it out.

[...MK talks about them then mentions he was actually adopted and MK offhandedly mentioning the one memory he has of his "birth mother" to Monkey king and monkey king just being like "oh. oh no."]

Oh MK sweetie no... :(

And the Monkey King is just silent cus he knows who MK is talking about [him], and even if SWK didn't create MK in the au, he was still the one to decide to send him to live among mortals for his own good. So the idea that MK potientially remembers Wukong from this time is a huge shock to him.

Wukong: "...your mother, what did they look like?"

MK, clueless: "Umm... their hair was a warm orange-y color. Like the sun. And I think their eyes was this really shiny yellow, or maybe amber colour? Oh! And they had this round stomach - I remember hugging it..." *gets kinda wistful* "I don't know why I'm not with them anymore, but hope they're doing ok if they're still out there."

Wukong, hand ghosting over his stomach: "You and me both bud."

[DBK accepts his proposal to be the egg's godparent. evn if offering such a title to someone other then Ao Lie leaves a bittersweet taste in his mouth. he knows Ao Lie would't mind him giving the title to someone he trusted, but he'd always been so sure that someone would be Ao Lie.]

Wukong def was hit hard by Ao Lie's passing. It pains him to give the godparent title to anyone else, but he knows when push comes to shove; his older sworn brother will be there to protect his infant. Ao Lie would just be glad that Wukong meant his offer all those centuries ago.

[all negitive feelings are forgotten when the excitement of a new baby within the sworn family is brought into everything + learning that Wukong very possibly could have lost his own child by helping with the Samadhi fire ritual, something he did becuase he was one of the few who could help them from losing their own child. from mother to mother(?), she understands how hard of a call that must have been to make.]

PIF has to give Wukong mega-respect; putting himself and his baby on the line for the health of her own. Even if she considers it so stupid to agree to such a dangerous ritual when Wukong knew he was carrying, PIF just looks over at Red Son, alive and healthy, and just hugs Wukong the next time she sees him. Although she hasn't been the most welcoming sworn sister-in-law, she vows to make it up to him for saving her child from the Samadhi Fire.

A decent proper baby shower is first on her list of repayments.

[when Yuebei is born and has dark fur and glowing ears she feels it is confirmed that her assumption Macaque was the other parent was correct, no one corrects her about the bio parent situation.]

PIF just side-eyeing Macaque whenever she sees him, convinced from the talk of the two's bad breakup + Macaque not initially knowing about the pregnancy; that her lil sworn bro is the baby-daddy. And when Yuebei is born having "imprinted" on Wukong's yearning/love for Macaque...

PIF: *seeing the baby's dark fur and glowing ears* PIF (whispering so not to wake the baby): "I fcking knew it." Macaque: *is too tired/proud to argue with her* "Yeaaah..." :')

[red son is just going "WTH WTH WTH" the whole time as they explain, Mei would absolutely insert herself into baby shower planing the moment the idea is brought up.]

Red has no idea what to do in response to all this baby talk, so he just; tries to apologise to SWK for setting him on fire a bunch as a toddler??

Wukong appriciates the effort.

Mei, PIF and Jiuweihuli get talking and soon Wukong is looking at a baby shower akin to a red carpet event.

[...but those are thoughts to process when LBD is defeated and the world isn't on the cusp of being destroyed. now of Wukong didn't put himself and the egg in one of the most compramising positions ever by being possessed in the meantime, that would be great. he makes up his mind the moment a just freed monkey king collapses into his arms crying like this is the only hug he's ever had in his life.]

Macaque spends episodes asking himself he truly wants to rebuild his and Wukong's relationship, and when the king holds him tight like he's about to disappear - Macaque decides to stay for good.

[not even out of the womb and already earning her "god killer" title.]

Imagine you're a random Celestial or demon and you hear the dreaded "God Killer" is gonna be at an event, and it's a tiny baby monkey in a papoose strapped to the Monkey King, or his many terrifying sworn family members.

You'd honestly be more afraid of that baby.

[I was doing some doodles for this au and I had the idea of Yuebei getting a staff of her own from her parents and I wanted it to have something to do with LBD's skull, but I couldn't make the design work. so I actually had the idea of her having her staff and wearing the front of LBD's skull like a mask. she legit wearing the skeletal face of her first kill, creepy, stylish, and effective at scaring off her enemies.]

Oh that sounds so cool!!! Her divine skull weapon being a mask made from the skull of her first kill that she uses to channel her deadly power - like turning the Medusa's head into a shield. Her staff being a gift from her parents that has no inate magic ability beyond the fact that she puts her trust in it as her first "real" weapon.

I can imagine she uses a glamour/quick magic to put the skull/mask on (like Dr Facillier in "Friends on the Other Side") as a way of saying "You're f*cked" to her opponents.

I'm excited to see how your drawings go!

[-the two monkeys are basically the only ones not panicking at this point, them and Guanyin once they're on the scene.]

Wukong and Macaque are def panicking, though its more an excited kind of panicking. Nezha and MK are def screaming. Guanyin is the only one with a cool head the entire time.

Pigsy is good at pretending he isn't worried, but he ends up tearing apart the campsight's kitchen in a hurry to make enough food for everyone. Especially when DBK and PIF realise what's happening, and are posted incase Wukong's baby causes as much trouble for him as Red did to them.

[I like to think that she wouldn't have his six sensitive ears because she didn't actually have the genetics for it, but her appearance could still be pushed so her ears do still glow a little.

even if their aren't six ears, the instant Macaque sees her ears glowing he would not be able to stop himself from squealing with joy and practically side tackling Wukong as he is incoherently babbling about how much he loves her.]

Oh gosh, Mac and Wukong just see Yuebei for the first time. She's still kinda gross, having *just* busted out of her thin ambiotic shell. Her fur dark... And her little ears glowing?! Both monkey parents are sobbing, especially when they learn that Yuebei was unconciously trying her best to look like Macaque's baby with the limited genetics available. Wukong has multiple centuries of love to dish out, and Macaque is catching up fast.

[he def let Guanyin know before hand so that if things did go wrong they'd know the tapes/letters were there to give to his infant.]

Guanyin has a secret stash in the Southern Ocean of all the letters and tapes (and even some drawings of what she might have looked like) Wukong ever made for Yuebei, in case he wasn't able to give them to her in person. Yuebei ends up finding them when she's a moody teenager, mad at her baba for something stupid.

Pre-series; In absense of any other godparent... I bet Wukong would have trusted Yuebei with Guanyin if possible. The goddess would have gladly taken the infant had Wukong not survived the birth, though it would pain her for many centuries to come.

[but to make a good thing angsty, what if she also has "bad noises" that she associates with certain things...] + [...and what if she also isn't that trusting of macaque at first because she also only ever "heard" him when he was in the process of trying to hurt her baba and his friends] + [...luckily yuebei seems to warm up to him quickly when she sees him and Wukong being cuddly and reconciling.]

ooohhhh :(

Wukong walks in after letting Mac take care of Yuebei while he was out, only to come back to see both of them crying. Yuebei is doing this sort of furious wailing while Mac just looks defeated.

Macaque: "She hates me!!" Wukong, picks up Yuebei: "No she doesn't plum. She cries at eveything." Yuebei: *calms down at sound of Wukong's voice* Macaque: "No! She started crying when I tried talking to her! And when I tried soothing her it just got worse and worse and-!!" (*Wukong places a soft hand on Mac's cheek, quieting him*) Wukong: "She'll warm up to you. Just be patient." Macaque: *leans into Wukong's hand, still crying." Yuebei: *looks confused before slapping a fat little hand on Mac's face in mimicry of her baba. chirping with delight* Macaque: :')

Once the relationship between Wukong and Mac improves, so does the baby's reaction to Mac's voice (symbolism). She finally starts to associate the "bad" voice with her bama, and soon it's not a "bad voice" anymore. Though there probably is a weird bridge-point where Mac has to put on silly accents/voices when he baby-talks to Yuebei or else she'll get mad at him.

[c'mon Azure, if you're gonna hold a super strong baby that already doesn't like you the least you can do is try and keep her happy and preoccupied. he's got no one but himself to blame]

I can just imagine Azure is too preoccupied with his plans for the Celestial Realm (and plans for Wukong), and fails to notice Yuebei getting more and more fussy as he holds her (poorly). Her face contorts like she's constipated and slowly gets redder and redder with anger.

Yellowtusk immediately notices and warns Azure to let the cub down so she can at least crawl and inspect her new surroundings. Peng laughs at the thought of letting "the hatchling" decide the terms of her imprisonment.

Then Peng feels a tiny, but powerful, hand grab their wing feathers...

Yellowtusk leaves before the carnage reaches him.

[violetasteracademic]

Hey bestie, was just wondering when chapter two comes out 🙂‍↕️ been refreshing ur page once an hour for dayyyyyys. 💓

Hi my friend!! So funny you should ask, it will be ready to go up by early evening tonight! I will let you know as soon as it is posted! (I'm in US central time zone. So about 6-7 hours from now)

I'm so honored and delighted to have you reading the new fic 🥹 I don't like to share toooo much of my personal life on here because this fandom is sadly not always kind to artists and writers when it comes to the hostility of the ship wars, but I do want to give a heads up that A Court of Twisted Fate will not be coming out *quite* as fast as Golden Doe in a Valley of Shadow. I blacked out and wrote almost 100k words of Golden Doe in a total disassociative bender in under a month and a half while I was in between homes, closing the final chapter of my old life after a long fought for divorce, and set aside my 10 year long business and career. I was in a weird little vortex and could easily get a chapter out every few days. I want to be honest with myself and all of you that I will not be able to match that pace right now without massively sacrificing on quality and thorough edits!

If I haven't said it enough, you guys truly have no idea what the response to Golden Doe meant to me. Writing that fic helped me survive a very difficult time. I had never written a fic before and didn't even have an ao3 account, I had to wait a few weeks to be allowed in. I had no idea anyone would read it, and sharing that story wound up being one of the most special and joyful times of my life, which seems impossible when I look back on what I was going through! I just... Thank you. I don't know what else to say. Thank you a million times, every day, forever.

I am starting life completely over in a new city and a 1940's bungalow that has had a few catastrophes since moving in 🫣 I'm hard at work job hunting in this nightmare economy and fixing up the urgent items in the house! So it's a different kind of busy filled with lots of fear and anxiety and mental exhaustion. Thus, I'm also trying to give myself lots of time to heal and recover. I'm hoping for a chapter once a week this round, but I might need some grace for up to two weeks!

This might be a good opportunity to answer some other questions I've gotten. Some have noticed the new rating is M instead of E. There WILL still be smut, but this is more of a dark and spooky old school style slow burn and very story forward. And while I hesitate to say the spice will be more vanilla, it is not as kink forward as Golden Doe! It will still be spicier and more detailed than what SJM would typically write (y'all she's tame in my book) but a different style. That being said, the piece is not finished. Sooooo.... 🦇 we'll see if kinky Azriel body snatches me again and demands that the spice be freakier and more frequent. In which case I'll update the rating.

Golden Doe started as an M rating and 15 planned chapters, and we all saw how that worked out!

I'm pushing myself to create a unique world and characters that are not just a carbon copy of Golden Doe in a Valley of Shadow. Of course, it is still canon Elain and Azriel! But I'm focusing on different sides of them. I hope you all enjoy it just as much, but if it winds up not being your vibe, do know I have a few ideas bouncing around for Golden Doe continuations, additional Elriel fics, and my inbox is always open for ideas and prompts/requests!!

[apollosrambling]

Cold rain, warm comfort.

@real-levyanno Asked: Heyyo so I was reading a few of your posts and I am in awe of them. I was wondering, when and if you had the time, if you could do Slytherin-depressed-former prefect Reader x Twins? Maybe Pansy finds out Reader isnt a pureblood like everyone thought and so they all turn on him. He becomes depressed and his prefect badge given to Draco. No one seems to notice how affected he is until the twins find him trying to drown in the black lake and that's when they decide to help/confess their feelings?

It’s truly a mystery how long this has been sitting in my inbox. Sorry I made you wait 🤍🖤 also sorry it’s more of a warm up, I haven’t written anything other than AP style in years.

It’s been noticeable, the shift in your mood. The way you haven’t gotten up early to make sure the first years are awake and heading to breakfast, once of your favorite morning rituals. The way your smile doesn’t reach your eyes, or the way you brush off compliments like they’re meant to be deflected.

It’s impossible to know when it started, but the catalyst was that night in the common room, surrounded by your fellow Slytherin’s as the highlands rain beat on the windows.

“You’re a mudblood, aren’t you?” Pansy Parkinson had looked so proud of herself. The quiet laughter and chatter of your peers dying out.

Rather than answer, you stood and left. Only the cloak of night sheltered you, but it was two boys with red hair and blinding smiles who found you perched on the high docks of the lake. Teetering on the edge as you contemplate letting the wind push you into the black glass below.

You’re close to falling when a warm hand grabs yours, nearly searing after the cold that’s settled into your bones.

“What are you doing?” Fred Weasley is holding on to you like if he lets go, you’ll disappear. Maybe you would.

George, who was holding a warm blanket, slides to your side. Before you can protest, you’re bundled and sat. All three of your legs dangling over the docks edge, far enough away to not worry about wet toes.

“Looks to me like our favorite person was about to become an icicle,” George answers. It’s been so long since anyone spoke that you forgot Fred had asked a question.

“Yeah, maybe. Or perhaps he was trying to become one with the merfolk.”

“Stop talking about me like I’m not here.” Your voice isn’t as strong as you’d have prefer it been. The halfhearted kick at George’s feet does nothing other than cause the twins’ eyebrows to raise.

“We’ve noticed you’ve been a bit…” Fred trails off, as if he’s unsure the right way to deliver the blow.

“Sad? Quiet? Melodramatic and rather a downer?”

“That’s not helping, George.”

“Sorry, Fred.”

You watch them poke at each other. Reaching across you and shoving at each other as if their lives aren’t in danger. You worry they’ll accidentally knock each other off.

The absence of your head boy pin feels suffocating. You reach up to the empty space on your sweater, as if expecting it to come back. It won’t, though. It was now resting in Draco Malfoy’s hands, cold and stunned when you had wrenched it from your body and dropped it.

“I quit being head Boy”

The brothers freeze, looking at you with an uncharacteristically serious expression. George leans his body against yours.

“Why��d you go and do that?”

“Parkinson called me a mudblood. She’s right, I don’t even belong in Slytherin.”

The look on George’s face is downright foul. “That’s the biggest load of rubbish I’ve ever heard. You’re one of the most ambitious, determined people I know.”

“Yeah,” Fred weighed in, letting go of your hand to gesture into the air. “Everyone knows you’re the best Head Boy in the school. The first years love you.”

“They did,” you laugh a humorless thing, “they wont anymore. There’s not much to love.”

Now the twins look truly offended.

George doesn’t answer, he just takes your recently freed hands. Pulls your fingers from where they had been picking at your nails, and gently kisses your finger pads.

Fred runs a hand through your hair, fingers brushing along your jawline and the touch of stubble that threatens to poke through.

Having their hands on you is nice. It’s grounding, warm and pleasant in the cold air.

“There’s plenty of you to love.” Fred’s voice is quiet, almost a whisper.

“Some ancient opinion from old, dead wizards means nothing to us. You, though.” George leans close, his hair nearly tickling you. “You mean a whole lot.”

You hope the flush on your cheeks can be excused to the rain that’s slowed to a drizzle, but you know it won’t be.

“You’re just saying that-”

“No,” George is still holding your hand, still caressing your finger tips. “You’re incredible.”

“So kind,”

“And funny.”

“Yeah, Fred and I think you’re going to change the world.”

“Or rule it,” Fred jokes, before his face tightens.

“I’m sorry we didn’t say it sooner.”

“Say what?” You ask, leaning back a bit as the cool wind nips your face and their heat keeps you from freezing.

“That you’re damn near the most perfect person out there.” George’s words are soft but his lips are softer. It’s surprising, in a way. You half expected them to be chapped.

When George pulls away Fred takes your jaw, gently redirecting you to him.

“You’re wonderful.”

[annawayne]

Heeeello Anna! :3 I'm back to pester you in the inbox!

You may not have seen this, but this artist ask game... I've got questions for you!

1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 14, 15, 21, 34, 35

(ahahaha... That's a lot.... Ahaha.... Welp ....?)

But! No hurries, and I'm sorry if this eats at your precious time but I'd be happy to hear you talk more about your art! (Can never get enough tbh :3)

Hope you're doing a bit better now, Anna, please take care and you're loved!

Oh, Moon T^T

Hello, and you're right, I didn't even see this artist ask game (maybe, some time ago, so I don't even remember...), and thank you so much for thinking about me and for asking all this stuff T_T I have a lot of fun answering it, and it really distracted me from everything else going on in life since last weeks are quite difficult. But I'll be fine, and thank you for all of these questions, I appreciate you and your attention so much!

1 what medium do you use most (if applicable, what software)?

As I'm drawing now digitally, so I draw in Adobe Photoshop. I'm familiar with this software since my early teens, so it's very comfortable for me :D

When I was drawing traditionally, I primarily worked with pencils. I tried watercolour a few times, too. I have a very soft spot for oil - and I hope to develop this one day, too.

3 your favorite piece(s)?

Oh, what a question... I guess, for now, these ones:

4 piece you wish got more love?

All of them :D

I guess, these ones:

5 how would you describe your art style?

(I really want to joke and just refer to 21 question but well, let's take it seriously :D)

I guess, I can call it "cinematic poetry" - there's a very long way to go to really match the title, but this is what I aim for.

6 favorite thing to draw?

Oh, good question, Moon! As for the sketch stage, I really love to draw clothes, and when it comes to the stage of rendering - faces (primarily, eyes and hair, but I love the whole process and always try to improve my face renders skills...) and backgrounds!

8 thing you struggle to draw?

I think, when it comes to the rendering - HANDS. I think, my sketches of hands are not bad, but when I render them, oh boi, here comes the struggle. As a result, it seems fine, I suppose, but it's always a product of a lot of swearing and redrawing :D

14 whats your favorite thing about drawing?

Telling stories though different dimension. I like to combine in drawing both cinematography and literature, and it sounds a bit funny, because it's two different art directions, but still, I want to tell stories though a lot of things which combine these arts: details, emotions, lighting, and as if when you look at the art - you can hear all the vivid noises around the characters of life going one around and of characters themselves speaking, but then, as if they were caught in a moment, and then, I try to show this moment in my drawings. Or, when it's more of conceptual art, it also can tell a story, but differently - not like a frozen mundane life moment, but rather like a whole story behind it, and instead of these frozen ordinary life moments where the story is also told, here, the story told through not so evident details, starting from the pose to the colour palette itself.

I know I have a long way to go with it, but this is what I'm trying to improve and this is what I always aimed for.

15 least favorite thing about drawing?

Hm, very good question, to be honest. I thought about it for a while, since I can't really grasp if I can name such thing, but I think that it's both good and bad thing - that it's a lifetime commitment, that you should accept that you will study the whole life. From one side, it's wonderful and it's the whole fascinating journey, on the other hand - it can be really frustrating and draining not to be able to transfer your ideas from your head into the actual image, and while a lot of artists realize it, it doesn't make it easier to get disappointed sometimes. So, I would say, it's both good and bad thing, and how we look at it - depends on us :D

21 what do you think your artstyle would taste like?

I won't lie, this question sent me into a great reflection, and then I ended up questioning my art style in general, ha-ha-ha... But alright, hm, I think, croissant with orange jam? Don't ask. Just... Croissant. That's it.

34 whats something you still like from your old art?

Oh... Hm, I think from the beginning, they had great composition. I try to improve it now, of course, but I guess it was from the beginning a very great composition and "camera" shot. So this, this for sure!

35 if you had one piece of advice to give your younger artist self, what would it be?

Come, and do it, you're much stronger and braver than you think you are. It counts for many things, to be honest, and not only art, but yes, I would just hug my past self and tell myself that you're much more than you think you are.

Thank you so much, Moon, for all of it - for these questions, for your thoughts to ask me this in the first place and for your interest and support T_T It's priceless, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

P.s. I learned with this post that the post has a limited amount of images you can add... I didn't know we could add only 10 images... Woah...

[alairmena]

Do you have a life

Good question!

Since i gained some kinda following (60 of you guys now, that's insane 🤯) I'll have to drop a tiny lil update to my blog...

Big ass update thingy.

Now it's already been awhile since I started this blog, and let's just say -- I didn't quite think this through the moment I posted for the first time on here. So yeah I took some time to think and here's the deal:

I am Alair Mena, a comic artist and a writer

and this blog is meant for: - helping other writers achieve their writing dreams - achieve my own writing dream and build a fandom for my upcoming comic! However, it's not running away. I don't have to focus on building the community asap, as it will gradually form by itself, just like all 60 of you have showed me. I want to chill, to help all of you on your projects as well. Go around, give writing advice to more people, draw more of other people's OCs. The fun stuff, yknow. There's plenty of time to get famous 😌

Now the thing that interests you guys:

I'll be doing fanarts from the asks for free. It might sometimes take some time for me to process the inbox request... But I don't see myself doing commissions for money at this stage of blog development, because, guys...

You're promoted to my official Tumblr family!

Yes that's right! Follow this blog, I'll follow you back, and you're officially in my tumblr family of creatives! But here's the catch. Only first 1k of my followers will be my tumblr family. Once I have 1k, I will be opening commissions for people that are outside of our little community.

What this means for you, if you belong to golden 1000: you will ALWAYS be in my heart first and foremost. And you will get free art from me forever, because you were the realest ones out there :))

So now, lets help each other in this complex world of creative spaces, and make the world a better place together 😎

Happy writing!!

Additional info below:

So, my blog is supposed to be something like a treasure box full of useful information (be it about writing advice, or feed for my future fandom), and I'm trying to keep it that way. So don't be all tinfoil hat mode when you find out that some posts may disappear after a few days - they're not deleted, they're just privated - I do that so I can make this blog as easy to navigate as it can be. But here's some further help to find specific something that you need:

Tags to search:

#writing advice is going to return only the posts where I wrote writing advice.

#key's unwilling assistant is going to return all the posts relating to Key's Unwilling Assistant (my webcomic)

It ain't much but it's honest work 🥺👉👈

Also, I'll try to be frequent with answering my asks. Can't promise anything tho. But I'll give my best. One day I will beat my adhd if I continue fighting.

Shout out

If you're still reading this far you're a real one. Shout out to you. Here's the pay: your weight in cookies 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪

[raccoon-in-a-dumpster]

hi. This is the anon who was talking about proship last night. I will try to be concise as possible, without skipping important things this time. You are coming from a place of moral panic and probably your own defense, given what started the conversation, and how could I blame you?

I should’ve been a bit more clear with my explanation, but it was meant to be about shipping. I had assumed that was a given since we were talking about proshipping. I want to remind you that there are a lot of problematic things in various ships across many fandoms, including cannibalism (admittedly that one seems to be pretty fandom-specific), stalking, murder, manipulation, and so on.

I will not argue with you anymore. Clearly you are convinced you’re right (and again…I can’t blame you.).

I will however point out the one flaw in your argument: all of the things I mentioned are illegal. As well as physical and verbal abuse, which are also in a lot of ships, and some people just enjoy that in their fiction. Henry/Will isn’t exactly a pure and healthy ship. You may not know them, but there are people who would tear you to shreds, thinking you support that kind of toxicity in real life.

My point has changed several times over the course of this conversation, and as I’ve had some more time to think on it. I have realized that my initial point was mostly pedantic; meaning, I thought you were wrong about the word ‘proship’ and for some reason felt the need to correct you. Which is pretty shitty of me, I’ll admit.

And once again, I absolutely understand why you’re reacting this way. If an anonymous stranger showed up in my inbox and essentially said “uhhm [word you know to mean pedophilia and incest supporter] is fine, actually.” I’d be incredulous, quite upset, and probably afraid. Of all the ways to try to start a conversation about something like this, I could’ve chosen a much better one if I wanted you to hear me out before deciding that I must be an idiot at best, and a creep at worst, and refusing to even consider anything I say.

But now it’s a point of worry.

I want you to take a moment and ask yourself why you now have two very different definitions of “proshipping”, and why the first definition you were given does not include other things that are illegal, like murder. Who gave you this explanation? Also, if you had read my definition in a vacuum, outside of the context of proshipping, would you agree with it?

If the answer is ‘yes’, ask yourself again why your source told you it was only about liking and supporting pedophilia and incest.

And before you say anything, no, I’m not saying those things aren’t bad. It’s disgusting. I maintain that I wouldn’t touch even the made-up shit with a 20 foot pole.

But do you know what kind of things (aside from actual pedophilia) are often called that?

Adults writing about kids (the same age) being in love, no more explicit than holding hands and kissing each other’s cheeks.

Adults writing to entertain children, even if there’s not even a shred of romance.

Gay people. For existing.

Trans people, like you and me, for existing.

Nevermind the accusations of sexualizing children if you say you headcanon a fictional kid as trans or gay or bi or anything under that rainbow, regardless of whether or not you yourself are gay or trans.

You have experienced this already. You’ve been sent anons accusing you of pedophilia even though you’re a teenager yourself. You and I both know it’s bullshit, but the people who say that don’t care. They don’t care what they have to say to get people like us to, at best, hide in shame and hate ourselves for wanting to be something other than the gender we were assigned at birth. Or, at worst, kill ourselves.

How many people have been accused of pedophilia in the past couple of years? People you may not have even heard of until the accusations reached your ears? I know of a few who have proven their innocence, and it was revealed that the accuser was only trying to make the accused’s life hell.

Screenshots can be faked. Conversations are taken out of context.

Prior to this conversation I had distanced myself from discussions of proship and antiship. I didn’t want to get in the middle of it. But now I have decided that I am proship.

Not because I think it’s okay to coerce children into sexual acts, or that incest is fine, but because I would rather not see the people I care about ganged up on, harassed, and threatened for alleged ‘pedophilia’. For accusations that came from one bigoted prick who decided to use the worst accusation they could think of to get these queer ‘degenerates’ off of the internet.

Because someone writing a story about pedophilia to process and cope with their traumatic childhood experiences with it shouldn’t be dragged to the gallows and hanged for it.

Because someone writing a story about incest may not know enough about it to understand why it’s bad, and they shouldn’t be screamed at and harassed and threatened.

Because my transgender friends shouldn’t be called disgusting sibling-fuckers for discussing how a child in a fantasy AU might try to help their trans sibling find a way to medically transition.

Because I shouldn’t be called a child molester for writing about two gay adult women adopting children.

Because sometimes people don’t know what love could be if it’s not being forced into something.

Because a teenager just starting to explore some of the thoughts and feelings that are coming with puberty might not understand why their 13 year old character shouldn’t romantically or sexually be with the 28 year old pop star they have a crush on, shouldn’t be verbally abused and told to kill themselves until they do too afraid to ask why it’s wrong, because no one will even tell them what their offense was, because they think it’s them.

Because between letting a creep be weird about fictional children on the internet—who gets caught and arrested by their local law enforcement for doing something just the real world (which no one else in the internet would be able to help with, unless you managed to dox them. and is also illegal)—and letting people accuse anyone they don’t like of pedophilia and incest turning all fandom spaces into sterilized hellscapes where one disagreement gets your account publicly executed, I’d much rather go with the former.

Because sometimes the accusations of pedophilia and incest are nothing more than a Trojan horse.

I will not come off anon. I will not tell you who I am. I can hear the war drums in the distance and I don’t care who’s right or wrong, I refuse to end up on a callout post. Because even if your intentions are just “hey watch out, I’m pretty sure this person’s a gross pedo, don’t interact with them”, and nothing more, there will be people who come harass me. People who may not even know either of us beyond the callout post. I have seen the aftermath of it, showing up well after the storm has passed without knowing anything about what they might’ve done, and they’re incredibly paranoid. One of them gets an incredibly high amount of hateful anons and reblogs for no apparent reason. Even on posts talking about something trivial like “if you put this spice in your ramen it’s actually really tasty”. Another sounds like they’re fighting tooth and nail with themself, just to respond to one anon calling them anything derogatory, without apologizing for daring to exist. Neither of them are pedophiles or support incest. How many times worse would it be if that was the reason someone was being harassed, even if it wasn’t true? I don’t want to find out.

I really don’t think you would intentionally start something like that. But you are not who I’m concerned about.

This is my last word on this. Do with it what you will. But stay safe. And ask questions when you’re told that something is an absolute certainty. There is very little in the human experience that is universal and solid, and things can be even more muddled on the internet.

I doubt you’ll take anything I have to say seriously now, but there is a lot of harm someone can do when they’re being guided by dishonest people under the pretense of moral purity.

anon what

what does any of this mean

33 PARAGRAPHS AND FOR WHAT??? I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS MEANSSS