#also i giggled when he used his bipolar as a pick up line

[2idiots]

So I love dpr even more now. And also Ian's reaction to ripping his pants on stage was hilarious

[imagines4thefandoms]

The Man the World Forgot

Part 1

summery: Chris was living the life. He was a famous movie star with all of his films a blockbuster hit. Millions of people around the world knew his name; Chris was the most famous person in the world. But that all changed in a matter of seconds. When Chris wakes up one morning and the world has no idea who he is. Not even his family and close friends. Chris Evans no longer exist, or more exactly he never did. No one remembered him, no one except Scarlet. Scarlet McLaughlin was just a normal college student just trying to make it to graduation. She discovers that she is the one who remembers who Chris Evans is. Together they try and work out why the world doesn’t remember the movie star. Will they be able to fix the movie stars life or will he just stay forgotten in the minds of his loved ones?

word count: 2.2K

Chis Evans’ Saturday night was just a regular Saturday night while away for work: he called Scott to talk to Dodger, went for a quick run before eating in the hotel restaurant. He watched the couple sitting next to him celebrate something and grew a bit jealous. All he wanted in life to find the right person, settle down, and have kids. Chris just never met the right person.

After finishing his meal, the lonely star went back to his room to get ready for his busy day of shooting in the morning. Normally he would at least explore the city a little but he wasn’t in the mood to explore the beautiful Big Easy tonight. Before the elevator doors closed a pair of newly weds game in and were giggling in the corner. Evans tired to hid as to not draw attention to himself but the couple were too entranced with each other to notice that there was someone else in the elevator.

When the now suffocating metal box reached his floor, Chris exited and walked to his room wondering when he would ever have what they had. He kicked his shoes off as soon as his hotel door closed behind him and got ready for bed. Once he got in bed, he decided against watch tv and just let the noise of the city ease him into slumber. But before he could close his eyes, he saw a light streak across the night sky. ‘A shooting star’ he thought. Chris closed his eyes and made a wish.

“I wish I could be normal and find the love of my life,” he whispered before finally going to sleep.

At midnight the sky exploded with light. The entire city of New Orleans went quite for just a second then roared back to life as if being rebooted. Little did the actor know that his innocent wish full of love and hope had come true but has also brought a twist.

Chris woke up to his alarm blaring at six in the morning for his call time at seven thirty. He has awoken with a new cheery disposition than when he went to bed. Chris had a feeling that today was going to be a great day. He was about to call Scott to talk to Dodge and his brother but decided to take a shower first cause he knew he would be on that call for a while.

After his shower, Chris put on simple jeans and a t-shirt then grabbed his wallet and phone to head to set. The bipolar southern weather had subsided and left a nice cool day, causing the actor to decide to walk the few blocks to set. While on his walk Chris noticed that he was actually relaxed. There was no people with cameras following him nor fans stopping him for a picture. He chalked it up to people still being hung over from their night on Bourbon Street. Chris then remembered that he still has to call Scott. He took out his phone and pressed on his brother’s name in his contacts and waited for him to pick up.

“Hello,” Scott answered in a confused tone.

“Hey man, I just called to say good morning to Dodge. Did I wake you,” Chris asked hoping that he didn’t. He sometime forgot that not everyone is on his sleep schedule.

“Who is this,” Scott replied.

Chis laughed thinking that this was one of his brothers pranks or that he had woken his brother up and he was so fresh from sleep that he was confused. “Scott its me. Are you hung over?” Chris asked as he stopped at a cross walk.

“Hi me but I still don’t know who this is. How did you get this number? You can’t just call me to talk to my dog,” Scott said in a slightly irritated tone.

Chris really thought that his brother was milking this prank. Which was fine. “Scott already very funny its Chris. Your brother. Now can I talk to MY dog before I head on set.”

“Look I don’t know who this is but I don’t have a brother. Don’t call here again,” Scott said before hanging up.

Chis looked at his phone after his brother hung up just to make sure he called the right person. He decided against calling him again just to check up on him partly because he wanted to wait til he had a lunch break in hopes that Scott would give up on this prank and partly because he was at his filming location.

He walked up to the security guard and gave him a smile as he walked by, but the guard stopped him. “Name,” the guard asked.

Evans wasn’t use to not being recognized but he chalked it to being protocol. He gave the guard his name and id and waited til he check is clipboard of approved people on set. “Your not on the list,” the guard replied handing back the id.

“There has got to be some mistake,” Chris said slightly annoyed, “Im the lead role.”

“You are not on the list, which means you don’t get in.”

Chris was now more annoyed so he took out his phone and called his agent Charlie to straighten this whole mess out. Once Charlie picked up the phone Chris skipped the pleasantries and just tole him how he’s not being let on set and that he’s about to be late.

“Who is this,” Charlie asked after Chris went on his little rant.

“Charlie, its Chris. Chris Evans.”

“Um i’m not in the office today but if you make an appointment with my assistant we can look into maybe representing you. I don’t know how you got this number but i’m going to give you my assistant’s and you just make an appointment,” Charlie replied in a professional manor.

“Charlie. Im already your client. Did Scott put you up to this,” Chris laughed at the extent of his brother’s prank.

“I know all of my clients and a Chris Evans is not one of them. Im sorry I think you have the wrong number. Have a great weekend,” Charlie replied hanging up the phone.

Chris was starting to really not like this prank. He had to be on set in five minutes, but his anxiety of the whole situation was getting really out of hand so he went for a walk around the city. Then he will be late to set and Charlie will call him back to apologize making the whole prank thing to rest.

Even though the city isn’t at its bullies at seven thirty in the morning Chris couldn’t deny the cozy and exciting atmosphere of it. Once again on his walk Chris was not bothered by fans nor photographers and for a quick second he wondered how extensive was the plank his brother was pulling. He pasted a Café Du Monde and realized that he had planned on eating breakfast on set. This place was on a list of places Anthony had told Chris to visit while he was in New Orleans. These beignets were supposedly the best things ever so Chris took his friends advice and decided to have an order for breakfast.

He sat down at a table outside so he could still enjoy the scenery of the old beautiful city and waited for a waitress to come over. Chris was entranced by some street players when his waitress came over and greeted him a good morning. He looked over and saw a young girl about seventeen in white button-up shirt with black pants, black bowtie, and a long green apron. The actor braced himself for the questions and her starstruck demeanor.

“Are you,” she started to say as she grabbed her notebook out of the apron.

“Chris Evans yes, how are you,” he said expecting her question of a picture and autograph. But it never came instead introduced herself and told him she was asking if he was ready to order.

This took Chris by surprise. Usually you women this this waitress would be hounding him for pictures and autographs and question but she did. He wanted to chalk it up to her being professional but there was a tiny voice inside his head the told him it was something else.

“Sorry um ill take an order of beignets and a café au Lait,” Chris ordered thankful for the pressure from Anthony for him to pronounce every thing he is going to eat in New Orleans correctly so he doesn’t look stupid. The Waitress gave him a nod and a smile before to put in his order.

The waitress came back three minutes later with the coffee and a plate with three beignets. She placed the items on the table and gave him the line of ‘hope you enjoy’ then went back to work. After he took one bite, he realized that Anthony was right about how delicious these things were. Chris was about to text his friend about how much he enjoyed the fried doughy treat but decided against because he knew Mackie was in the west coast for his film and its six am in Hollywood, also he didn’t want to take the chance that Scott had gotten him in on the prank as well.

For the first time in forever Chris Evans wanted to be attacked by paparazzi  and to be swarmed by fans getting too close for comfort. So he did the only think he could think of. Once he finish his breakfast he paid and left a generous tip to the young highs cool student and walked to the place where he knew there would be people at eight in the morning: the Flea Market down the road.

Once he arrived to the Flea Market, he was overwhelmed over the amount of people there. Given that it was eight in the morning on a Saturday it wasn’t weird for this many people to be there, but the sight gave Chris a little bit of anxiety. He was starting to second guess being around so many people in this publish setting just to get recognized.

But once again while he was looking at all the different booths, no one stopped him, no one took his picture, and no one whispered about him behind his back. Chris decided to get Scott something from the flea market in hopes that it would make him fell bad for this prank; Chris had also gotten some souvenirs for the rest of his family while at the flea market as well. Once he was finished with his shopping, the actor headed back to his hotel room. He wanted to get some rest and just wake up from this horrible day.

On his walk back to the hotel, Chris thought that he should enjoy this albeit terrible anonymity he seems to have. He walked a little slower and just took in the sights of the historical buildings he was passing. And while he has heard Anthony complain about the streets being awful in the city he admired the imperfection of the cracks and the potholes, something that natives never have like.

He stoped at Jackson square and enjoyed one street performer groups’ show and looked around at the art work hanging on the fence. Some where simple and others where very detailed but all captured the story of the city that had persevered though many hardships. And after gazing upon what is St. Louis Cathedral, Evans really headed back to his hotel room.

This time the buildings were not the things that caught his attention, but the families that were out exploring the city as he was. One that stuck out in particular was a family with a small girl about the age of five who kept asking her father if they could take a horse ride. She was pointing to the white horse who was standing at the corner to the street waiting for the next people he was going to give a ride too. The father and mother exchanged looked and then agreed which caused the little girl to jump up and down with joy.

The sight made Chris’s heart swell. In that moment he didn’t see that family, he saw the family he hope to have in the future. He saw his littler girl jumping for joy over a horse while him and his wive looked upon her with such adoration. The family disappeared into the horse drawn carriage and Chris’s mind was back on his bed.

Chris was almost at his hotel room when he felt like he was being watched, which on a normal day wasn’t weird but on a day like today it was. He stopped and looked around him to see where this feeling was coming from. That when he noticed someone on the phone across the street staring straight at him. Chris knew that look on her face. Its the face fans get when they see him. This girl knows who he is. She is the only person who does. He knew he had to ask her why.

Part 2

[missskzbiased]

I Hate That I’m Afraid to Lose You (5)

Genre: Romance, Friendship, Angst, Hurt /Confort , Suggestive, Fluff, College Au, Enemies to Friends to Lovers Au, REALLY Slow burn, Love Square (?)

Pairing: Hyunjin X Fem!Reader  X Han X OC

WC: ~ 5,3K

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Masterlist

Warnings (general*): Language, Mentions of (Physical abuse, Death/ Loss of Loved One, Child Abandonment/Neglect, Divorce, Toxic Parents, Cancer, Mental disorder, Anxiety Attack, Alcohol, Food), Suggestiveness (?) 

Notes: This chapter is a little bit more angsty. I’d say this is the most angst of the one I’ve written until now (11 chap), from here it will take a lighter turn. Kind of.

It contains a description of an anxiety attack. Though I already warned about it, I think I should do it again. The way I described the anxiety attack and the bipolarity of MC’s mother has to do with my own experiences and none of it necessarily reflects all kinds of manifestations of those above.

Feedbacks are always appreciated.

REMINDER: I’m neither a psychologist nor a psychology student.

Updates: I’ll update it once a week [Tuesdays] because I still have to write the chapters to come and review the ones I already wrote

                                                      ///

   Hyunjin came into the classroom with wide steps, graceful as always, and you burst out laughing.

    He waved friendly to Paris before blushing ─ flustered with your outburst ─ and averting his eyes, walking quickly to his seat as all of you waited for Professor Lee. He sat down next to Paris, making sure he didn’t look your way; eyes focusing straight ahead before Paris turned to him smiling, talking about something you didn’t pay attention.

   Last night came back to your mind.

   The last thing you expected when you came into your place was to see Paris and Hyunjin sitting on the couch holding ice cream pots ─ both of them with their knees to their chin, a spoon hanging from their mouth as their eyes focused on the screen ─, completely taken aback by something that happened on a movie. Therefore, after you came into your dorm complaining about your day, exhausted by your classes and your work, to witness this scene, you could only stop in your tracks, mouth agape as you watched both of them distracted.

   You giggled, eyeing them before muffling your laugh with your hand, shaking your head in disbelief.

   You wished you had filmed them.

   You could remember clearly how Hyunjin widened his eyes when he saw you dumbfounded, holding the doorframe; his knees straightened abruptly, letting the pot fall from his hand to the floor, the spoon falling to the couch as his mouth opened and closed a bunch of times. He cursed under his breath as he picked up the pot, bashfully trying to fix his mess and avert his eyes, floundering as he mumbled, excusing himself because it was already too late and he had classes in the morning.

  “—Don’t you think, Y/N?” Paris turned to you, smiling brightly, and you nodded ─ even though you didn’t hear a thing ─, frowning as you heard Hyunjin gasp, clearly surprised by your answer, making you wonder what you got yourself into this time “So that’s it! We’re going to a party this Friday” She decided and you choked, coughing to recompose yourself.

   “We’re doing what?!” Hyunjin muffled a laugh, looking amused at you as you widen your eyes, surprised “You know we have to finish our project! We can’t just go partying!” You whined, making Paris roll her eyes at you as she mouthed something silently, mocking you “Hey!” You nudged her “I mean it! We have work to do!” You insisted but this time Hyunjin spoke up.

   “Would you be writing something Friday night?” His face showed he knew you wouldn’t, looking at you with a smug expression that made you poke your tongue against your cheek, bothered “Exactly!” He smiled at himself, proud you didn’t answer him, taking it as a victory.

   “But I would write on Saturday! So if we party on Friday it’ll disturb our work on Saturday” You retorted, making him roll his eyes “What? Not everyone is unoccupied like you! I work every day, remember?” You scoffed, and Paris sighed.

   “Come on? For me?” She looked at you with puppy eyes “It’s been ages since you came to a party with me! We could even invite Han and Chan! It will be fun” her eyes twinkled as she clasped her hands, waiting for your answer.

   “Okay… Why invite him though?” You tsked before muttering, resting your cheek on your hand, your elbow on the desk as you watched Mr.Lee finally arriving. Paris chuckled and shrugged before opening her notebook and looking ahead too.

   “I think you two should hang out a little bit, know each other so we can make a good project! Don’t you want to ace this?” She smiled triumphantly, knowing you would never turn down a chance to ace anything. You narrowed your eyes at her, scoffing.

   “You’re a sly one, I see…” She laughed, turning her attention to Mr.Lee, who was clearing his throat to get everyone’s attention.

   The classes didn’t have anything too different this time, few discussions now and then, some people complaining about the project… The usual. When the bell finally rang, you turned your head to Paris as you wiped everything inside your bag, watching her doing the same, ready to get up and meet up with Han.

   “Do you want to eat with us?” She asked Hyunjin, a friendly smile on her face “We’ll be eating with Han today” She added, waiting for his answer. Your eyes darted to Hyunjin, who shifted his weight, an unease frown on his face. You realized he would probably be uncomfortable to come along with you considering he fought with Han.

   “Maybe next time? Han mentioned he wanted to talk to us” You lied, noticing how he seemed to relax, looking in your eyes, puzzled. He probably didn’t understand why you jumped in to help him. It wasn’t really about helping him though, it was about making sure your lunch would go smoothly, a peaceful day ahead of you.

   “Yeah, next time” He nodded “I’m going to meet Chan today anyway, so… Yeah” You arched your brow; sure he was lying as well. Paris didn’t seem to notice anything, so she just waved goodbye and followed you to the halls, meeting an anxious Han out there. He eyed you both, smiling awkwardly when his eyes stopped on you.

   “Hey?” He said in a high pitch, making you narrow your eyes “So… You’re okay?” You tilted your head, confused, nodding to him. What the hell was that about? You three made your way to the stairs, chatting up, and you couldn’t help but notice Han was acting really weird for now. You got on the line ─ each one of you choosing something different to eat so you could share ─, before finally sitting down, looking at your friend as he focused on his food, pretending not to notice you.

   “Okay, what’s the deal?” You sighed, resting your fork on the plate, the tinkling sound getting Paris and Han's attention “You’re acting weird! If this is about Hyunjin, I already know you punched him, you don’t need to hide it or whatever” He shot his brows up, clearly surprised by the reveal, but not as much as Paris.

   “You did what?!” She dropped her fork on her plate, mouth agape “Why would you hit him? Can’t you be expelled or… I don’t know, I don’t understand your sports things!” Her eyes were worried and alert, unlike her usual attitude, and Han swallowed his food, weighing his words.

   “You see… No, I wasn’t expelled because no one is really talking about it… I didn’t do much, it was only two punches and he didn’t make a scene either” He explained “Yeah, I know it was irresponsible, I could have lost my chance in this match, I know” He rolled his eyes before Paris could speak up “I just… When I saw you crying, I was so sure he had played you!” He looked at you, ashamed, and you snorted.

   “You thought what?” Your voice was high pitched, amused by his delusional self “Han, I don’t like him! I told you a million times, for lord’s sake! I was watching him that day because I was curious, man… I told you! I don’t have a crush and I will never have a crush on Hyunjin, you have to get this on your brain” You whined, making him laugh.

   “Wait! You thought Hyunjin had hurt her feelings and you just went straight to him and punched him?! Han, you could have lost your chance!” Paris scolded, far more serious than you and him. She was upset, the frown on her face made it pretty clear; her clenched jaw didn’t let much doubt either.

  “She’s right! You shouldn’t even have thought about getting in a fight, in the first place! It’s ridiculous” You were fast to agree with her “What did you think? That you were going to defend my honor or something? Also, you didn’t even explain yourself! He’s thinking you were mad because of a random girl!” He frowned at this, confused.

   “No, he knows exactly why I punched him” He tilted his head, a lost expression on his face “I said that he deserved it for making you cry… Chan even scolded me after this and…” He eyed Paris, unsure “And told me it was a family issue” He decided to state, searching any signs of anger on your eyes for what he just said.

   You were dumbfounded.

   “Wait… He knew you hit him because of me?” You asked surprised. You had a clear memory of him saying Han should have done it because he was jealous of his face. You weren’t crazy. Also, Chan knew it? If Chan scolded him, he surely was close to the fight… He even told Han it was a family issue? So why the hell he didn’t expose Hyunjin?

    Then it struck you.

    “I can’t believe it! He lied to me” You rested your back on the chair, arms falling to your sides as you looked taken aback “I mean, he’s a liar, okay!” Paris snorted at that, tilting her head as she looked at you, curious about what you were thinking “Hyunjin lied to me but he knew I would discover Han knew I had a family issue” You explained, your thoughts running fast around the place “So I think he lied to protect something important from me! It couldn’t be about Chan telling Han about it, because He knew one of them would talk about this sometime… It can only mean he knows it too and he was trying to hide it?” You grabbed your chin, pensive.

   “Well, I don’t know if Chan talked about it with him… He talked to me in private” Han pointed out “He could be mocking me just because he’s an asshole” You considered his statement, wondering if he would do something like this.

   Yeah, He would.

   “I don’t think so” Paris interjected “He’s not as bad as he seems! I don’t think he would mock Han behind his back like this without a reason… It’s not like it would upset you that much either” She looked at you, and you nodded “I mean, of course, you wouldn’t like him badmouthing your friend but he didn’t insist on it, right?”

   “Yeah, he just said and dropped it. It’s not like him… Usually, he likes to bug me a lot more” You agreed “So He was actually worried about me?” You gasped “What the hell?!”

   “I’m saying it!” Paris whined “He’s not as bad as he seems… I think you two would get along if you weren’t so settled on hating him” She shrugged “I think he knew you would feel awkward, so he just lied to cover it up” You nodded, flabbergasted.

   “I would never guess he had some decency in him” You admitted, making Paris laugh.

   “So now we like him?” Han spat, mad “He’s still an asshole! He has been teasing you for years and he’s a fuckboy! He’s just being nice because… Actually, why were you together?” He asked suspiciously. You rolled your eyes. Paris chuckled, resuming to her eating, her eyes attentive on both of you as she ate.

   “We have a project together” You clarified “The three of us” You pointed to Paris as well “Why are you so afraid I’m hanging out with him? Do you think I will fall for him and be crushed? It would be easier for me to crush him” You snorted but he remained serious.

   “That’s probably exactly what all the girls he dumped thought too” He picked up his fork, bringing food to his mouth, averting his eyes from yours “I just don’t want you to get hurt… There are tons of guys out there for you” He said shyly. Paris hummed, like she knew something, before looking at you mischievously.

   “He’s worrying too much” She assured “I think Hyunjin can be a fine guy, he just needs some love… I’m his psychologist, I would know” She joked, and you laughed along with her.

                                                                      ////

    Paris waited for you on the couch, her notebook on her lap.

    You sighed as you closed the door, expecting it to happen since you needed to do your project and could only discuss things with Paris at night, after work. She looked at you sympathetically, knowing that even though you suggested doing it like this, it would be hard on you. You sat down across her, cross-legged, dropping your bag to the floor and resting your elbows on your knees, your face burying into your hands as you let out a huff of air, tired.

   “So, let’s start this shit?” You asked, raising your head to meet her eyes.

   “So… I read your essay…” She began awkwardly, eyeing you worried “And I think we should begin from your… Hm…” You snorted, pitying the way she seemed concerned to hurt you. Paris had been worried about you since your outburst on Friday ─ when you explained to her a lot of your problems with your mother and your father─ and you couldn’t blame her. You weren’t the one to cry, so she was probably really concerned about it.

   “You can say it, Paris” You reassured her “I have abandonment issues, I know” You chuckled. She seemed relieved that you had said it, sighing as if you took away all the weight from her shoulders, adjusting her notebook on her lap, and nodding in agreement.

   “Yeah, and I think we should talk about this” She stated, looking in your eyes “So, tell me about your father” She asked, and although you found the situation amusing ─ Paris looking like a psychologist waiting for you to talk about your inner thoughts ─, you couldn’t smile when you spoke up.

   “Well, He left me alone with my mother because He didn’t know how to deal with her illness…” You shrugged “My mother is bipolar and she wasn’t diagnosed correctly in the beginning… They said to us that she was depressed, so she treated her depression, and my father took care of her when she was depressed” You tightened your lips, pausing for a moment before a bitter smile took over your features “Then she got normal again… And then she got maniac” You scoffed, hand trailed to your hair; fingers sweeping it with no need, trying to dissipate the distress “She wasn’t the same woman that he met and loved” You spat, remembering clearly the way he said those words to her.

   “So he couldn’t deal with her illness and abandoned you” Paris concluded, noting something down. You laughed humorlessly, head turning to the side for a moment, a habit you had when you were feeling overwhelmed.

   When you needed to look away from something that bothered you.

   “He abandoned us” You agreed bitterly “He left his ten years old daughter behind with a madwoman!” You raised your voice, anger filling you again before you felt your eyes stinging “He left me there to take care of her all by myself! I don’t want and I won’t forgive him!” Your hands turned into fists, your nails digging deep into your palms “He can’t just come back and say he loves me! He can’t expect me to love him back! He shouldn’t have left me behind!” Paris got silent, attentive as you got things out of your chest.

   “Would you prefer if he took you with him and left your mother all by herself?” She asked; no bad intentions on her voice but it still hurt you. You chewed your lip, averting your eyes, ashamed “Is that why you think you abandoned her now?” She asked, referring to your previous rant on Friday, and your eyes darted to hers.

   “It’s not that I would prefer he took me with him… I wanted… I wanted someone, okay? I wanted someone” You sighed “How did he think I felt then? She wasn’t the mother that I knew! She wasn’t loving, she was uncontrollable! She was mean, she was… She was a monster” You hid your face behind your hand, feeling the tears coming to your eyes “And then she got depressed again” You choked when you scoffed, holding down your tears as you could “Because he left us… Because she didn’t want to live without him…”

   “Did she try to…” Paris didn’t dare to ask, so you shook your head.

   “No, we got her on her pills again. This time the doctor knew for sure what she had, so it was a little bit better” You explained “Every time she got a little bit excited though, I thought she could be ill again at any time… We didn’t have enough to all the expenses, so we had to move out. I started to work as soon as I could, and it took all my time… School, work, and take care of her. That was all I had. That was all I was” Paris grimaced, pity written all over her face “Don’t” You said sharply.

   “I know how it is to not be able to do the things you want… It’s hard to be closed up in a world you don’t want to belong” She admitted “But in the end I got someone, and I think you do too” She smiled at you, reassuringly.

  “Don’t you dare say to me that my father is back and now he loves and cares for me! It’s not the same! Your mother always tried to protect you! He didn’t give a shit!” You slammed your fist against the couch, wrathful. Paris sighed, shaking her head.

   “That’s not what I meant… You have Chan and me now, Y/N” She reminded, a small smile on her face “You have Han and maybe even Hyunjin…” She risked, checking your reaction. You snorted, your fingers brushing your hair again before you rested your cheek on your hand, looking at her, discouraged.

   “What is it with you? Why do you want me to befriend him?” You felt gloomy, the anger fading away with the sudden change of the subject, the curiosity taking your best “You invited him to a party, you invited him to our lunch, and now you’re trying to make me think he can be our friend?” You tilted your head, widening your eyes in realization as you detached your cheeks from your palms, lifting your head “Do you like him?” You asked surprised.

   “What? No!” She looked at you as if you were dumb, grimacing and moving her head backward, getting a double-chin “I think you guys should talk, okay? I read both of your essays and I just think you guys would click! Both of you have a mom issue and abandonment problems” She clarified, widening her eyes as she realized what she had just said, “Don’t tell him I said it!” She pleaded quickly.

  “Oh? Does he have mom issues? What a surprise!” You sneered “That explains a lot, actually… So he’s just a needy guy who hides behind a fuckboy facade” You hummed “Disappointing but not surprising if you wanna know my opinion” You chuckled “He just keeps dumping girls around because he has some kind of abandonment issues… I can’t believe I was so curious about him for this” You rolled your eyes.

  “I’m not following you… Why are you so against him? ‘Cause I can’t believe you despise him so much because he’s needy and has some problems that you also have” She tightened her grip on her notebook, probably expecting you to say something mind blowing for her writing, expectant.

  “It’s just that he doesn’t take responsibility! He just hurt people around him and he doesn’t want to face the consequences!” Paris narrowed her eyes, tilting her head, pensive.

  “I’m sorry, could you say that again?” She moved her hand, pencil hovering over the notebook, eyes focused on you, apparently following an interesting trail of thoughts in her mind. You frowned, voicing your confusion, not quite getting what she wanted from you “What you said just now. Why you don’t like him” She repeated, eyes unwavering.

   “He’s irresponsible…” You repeated warily “He can’t stop hurting people around him, and he doesn’t want to face the kind of person that he is” Paris nodded, noting things down, reading those few words, again and again, going back a page and comparing something, humming in the end.

   “Now tell me again why you’re hating on yourself” She asked calmly.

   “I don’t hate myself” You countered right away.

   “Interesting... Because my notes disagree with you” She pointed out “You clearly blame yourself for leaving your mom to come to college” She tapped her pencil twice on the page, eyeing you. You nodded, seeing no point in denying something you had verbalized to her before “I know I’m not a psychologist but as a Music Major and as a future lyricist I noticed some things about your writing and your speech… Never once you wrote you abandoned your mom to come to college but you said it twice to me” She looked like she had just discovered something incredible.

  “So what?” You blurted, completely confused about what was so revealing about it.

  “You also presented in detail a lot of things about your father… How he abandoned you and obviously how you hate him because of this” Your eyes lit in understanding, letting out a scoff “See? You’re also in denial” She smirked, proud of herself.

  “Look, I blame myself because I don’t want to be like him… It doesn’t mean I hate myself, okay?” You spoke as if she was a kid “I never wrote that I abandoned her because I don’t like this word and—“ She interrupted you promptly.

  “Because you’re in denial” She added, still proud of herself.

  “I’m not in denial” You retorted, fuming “I just don’t want to be like him, so I didn’t phrase it like…” Paris eyed you knowingly and you shut your mouth, defeated “I’m in denial…” You realized, eyes widening. Great, that was all you needed! Not only you sucked but you also didn’t want to admit it.

  “I know you’ll get angry now… But listen to me, okay?” Paris licked her lips, eyes analyzing you briefly before she decided to speak up again “You also said your father was irresponsible for leaving a child behind to take care of another human being… And you kinda were hurt by him… And you may think he doesn’t acknowledge his mistakes and stuff like this…” You bit your lips, nodding.

  “I get it, I’m projecting my father on Hyunjin” You concluded, sighing, the conversation was making you worn out “I can’t believe it… All those years thinking he was a jerk and it turned out I’m the jerk after all” You whistle, taken aback by all your talking. You should have known it before… It was obvious you didn’t give a shit about his grades or the fact he seemed to have everything in the palm of his hands… Chan wasn’t exactly a humble boy and you were best friends with him.

   “If I may say it, I think you’re not only projecting your father on him but also your self-hatred” She confessed, shifting her weight in her chair and biting her lips, clearly uncomfortable “I mean, you’re in denial, right? You also didn’t acknowledge in your essay the consequences of your acts… You said you left your mom with your father, and I know you think you’re being like him by doing it but… That was it” You looked at her in wonder, thinking about what she was saying.

  “You mean I’m not facing the consequences of my acts” You decided to clarify, eyes narrowing “Just like my father” You added, scoffing. You never felt so disappointed in yourself, the shame washed over you, disgust filling every fiber of your body “I mean… I never thought I hated myself before… I work hard, I study hard, I do everything I can to be perfect and more than enough… I always thought it made me better than him” You sighed “Sometimes I thought it made me better than other people too” You confessed, embarrassed.

   “I don’t think you’re like him, Y/N… I think you have to stop overlooking what you really feel” She looked at you sympathetically, eyes filled with pity “You overwork yourself and I think you do this because you can’t stand being alone with your own mind” You shut your eyes, all the things she said sinking into your mind slowly.

   It hurt you.

  “You’re right… I hate myself” You agreed, voice faltering. You could feel the pang in your heart, the shattering feeling that consumed you “I hate that I’m turning into someone I always despised… What is my excuse for hating him now? He abandoned my mom and so did I, Paris” You felt the tears coming to your eyes, each broken piece you tried so much to ignore and hold together falling apart “He lived his life without a care and I’m living mine now… The first chance I got to run away… I just did it… And I keep telling myself that I left her with him, that I wouldn’t leave her alone… But what if he didn’t come back, Paris?” You let the tears roll freely, the last string that held you back snapped just like this.

   You couldn’t take it anymore.

  You curled yourself, fingers fisting your hair, pulling it as you rocked your body back and forth; heart aching on your chest like a thousand hooks were stinging and dragging it against your will. You were so determined to bring your focus back that you didn’t even hear her getting out of her chair, hand on your back startling you more than helping.

  She rubbed circles there, trying to calm you down. The gentle touch was just one of the things your mind had to face right now, wild thoughts spreading everywhere, making you unable to focus on just one of them. Your mind sounded like a riot, thousands of thoughts and voices trying to make their way to your brain ─ trying to make a point ─ and you couldn’t hear any of them, although they were all you could hear right now. Somehow her voice made its way to your brain, a gentle tone in contrast with all the chaos on your mind.

   The gentleness was strange.

   Unwelcomed.

   Like it didn’t belong there.

   Like you didn’t deserve it.

   “I’m a monster, Paris” You managed to say, voice cracking, fragile “I’m just like him! Just like him!” You spat, pulling your hair harder, trying to focus yourself back with the pain you felt on your scalp “I would abandon her just like him… I would leave her all by herself, Paris, all alone! And now he’s here… He’s here and he’s taking my place! He’s taking care of her and she’s forgetting me, Paris! She hates me! She thinks I’m the reason why they broke up!” You rocked your body faster, hyperventilating, your grasps for air didn’t seem enough to fill your lungs and for a moment here you felt like this was it, you were going to die.

   You couldn’t discern what you were saying, what was true and what wasn’t.

   You just voiced it.

   Everything your mind could bring up.

  You grasped for some air, desperate, one of your hands shot to your throat, groping it, trying to feel something you weren’t sure what was. Maybe you wanted to feel the air going through your throat. Maybe you wanted to make sure you were breathing; that you weren’t really suffocating, that you were going to make through it. Maybe you just wanted to feel your veins and arteries, the soft throbbing as a concrete sign that you were indeed alive, even though it felt like your heart was going to burst any second now.

   “Y/N, listen to me! Listen to me” Her tone was firm but as hard as you tried to lift your head to look at her, all you could concentrate was on your heart drumming inside your chest and your lungs burning inside your thorax. You breathed deeper, harder, faster, trying the best you could to get some air, feeling suffocated. Your thoughts weren’t behind; they tried to suffocate you, giving you no space to think, no time to breath, making you unable to focus on her voice.

    You were sure she was repeating it over and over again but you couldn’t hear it.

    Her voice was a soft scratch in the back of your mind.

    “She’s right… It was my fault! My fault!” You blurted, watching as your tears wetted your pants “I should have made him stay, Paris… I shouldn’t have let him go!” You choked on your own gasp, coughing while trying to catch your breath, your fingers leaving your throat to hold your face, nails digging into your cheek as you tried to recover some control of your mind, the pain being the only way you could think of.

   Then you suddenly did it.

   Your heart started to slow down, the loud bang on your head still present; your gasps started to be enough to fill your lungs, tears starting to dry on your eyes, throat hurting from your crying and grip, body trembling as you felt you could uncurl yourself, scalp hurting and head clouded.

   “Breathe” She said, frightened by your outburst; watching as you embraced yourself, small on the couch “Are you better? Do you want some water? Nevermind, you’ll drink water” She got up from the couch, getting a bottle on the minibar and coming back, handling it to you “Drink, you have to calm down… Oh my god, you startled me” She sighed, relieved it had ended “Y/N… You’re not a monster for following your dreams, you know that, right? You didn’t leave her behind, she’s with your father now” She reminded you.

   “What if she wasn’t?” You asked again, drinking the water eagerly “I know… I know it wasn’t my fault that he left… I’m… I mean, I was a child, I couldn’t make him stay” You sighed “I know that, It’s just… She thinks that I’m the one to blame and… Well, I took care of her all this time, Paris. I literally did everything I could, I left everything I could have behind just to take care of her… And she thinks I destroyed her life”

   “She doesn’t think that” She assured promptly “Y/N, she’s ill. She’s in a crisis. Right now, when you said you were the one at fault you didn’t mean it, right?” You shook your head, and she grabbed your shoulder, squeezing it “See? You weren’t in your best state of mind and you said things that you don’t believe… Whatever she’s saying now, she doesn’t mean it”

   “She… Well, she used to say that she loved me” You muttered, embarrassed “When she was okay… She said she loved me… She thanked me once” You didn’t know why you felt the urge to say it but it seemed right when Paris smiled at you, encouraging “It still doesn’t change the fact that I would leave her if I could” You sighed and her smile dropped.

  “You know you would do something about it… Chan could have helped you… You could bring her to live closer, live with her… You wouldn’t leave her behind because you’re not a monster, Y/N, you never were and you will never be” She reassured, and you smiled weakly at her “I never saw a monster helping someone as you did, okay? There’s no way you’re a monster”

   “I… Thank you, Paris” You said sincerely, looking at her, grateful you had her by your side, “I think I needed to hear that”

[kwrittink]

Wrong - ABISM

Pairing: F!Reader x AdoptedBrother!Jungkook

Genre: Fluff/Angst

Warnings: language, a tiny bit of belittling

<FISSURE                                                             EARTHQUAKE>

It had been two- no, three - years since you last saw him. Your brother... If you could even call him that. No visits, no calls, not even a letter. He'd be completely out of your life, wasn't for his inevitable successful life, which caused people to talk about him once in a while, not aware of your past. Why would you even tell people you once were Jeon - after he took back his real name and career as the famous missing heir of the family's huge company - JungKook's relative when by that point you were nothing more than a complete stranger?

"Y/N, is the sketch finished already? Boss Min has been waiting for it since you arrived," Mou, secretary of said boss - your boss, precisely - asked, walking up to you and snatching your attention back to reality, the screen of the tablet showcasing an ad of some beauty product under Jeon's name. That's why your mind was wandering off. 

"I have the final version already, I'm just waiting for TaeH-"

"I'm here, I'm here!" Kim TaeHyung, TI trainee and probably the best boy you've ever met in your entire life came rushing in, almost knocking stressed Mou out of his way, the art printed into a small poster. "Our printers were all malfunctioning, so I had to go to the copy place- Hope I'm not too late," he breathed out finally, strands of hair glued to his forehead as he tried to catch his breath. You chuckled at him, grabbing the page with one hand and patting the top of his slightly bowed head as you stood up. 

"Don't worry, you were just doing me a favor, Tae. I'll pay you a coffee later, 'kay?" You reassured the newbie, then made your way towards your boss' office, happy that the whole printout was exactly the way you imagined it would be. Those sleepless nights wouldn't be wasted, it seemed. 

"You know, sometimes it's a little painful to watch him," Mou started, by your side. You had barely noticed she was walking with you and snapped your head towards her startled, what she might have read as a confused look. "The new intern. TaeHyung, I mean." 

"What about him?" You asked, now truthfully confused. Mou scoffed, rolling her eyes. 

"I'm sure you're not that blind, Y/N... The boy obviously has a crush on you." She whispered, giggling as your eyes widened in surprise. 

"Wait TaeHyung? No, he's just really nice. And I'm his mentor, he just wants to please." You waved it off, shaking your head in dismissal. There was no way that a guy like Kim TaeHyung was interested in you. He was really nice to you, but obviously, he was still a youngster, if the gossip was any indication. 

Mou snickered, pushing the black glass door that separated the firm's director Min YoonGi from the rest of the world. "Whatever you say then. But keep that in mind when you have your coffee with him today." She advised, and it was your turn to roll your eyes at her before she announced your arrival. 

Min YoonGi was someone really easy to deal with, once you did your job. The meeting was short, he had really liked your work and even had asked you to help in the presentation the company would have to the hirer - which meant he wanted you to talk about it. It was good to know your job was recognized, but you've been working hard for a while and was about to ask for a break before you collapsed. Sigh. Maybe after the deal was made. 

"Hey, you don't seem so well," a voice came from your right, a small box of doughnut holes from that famous bakery on the building's street appearing into your sight. A smile was immediately plastered on your lips when you turned your face and met the dimpled cheeks of Kim NamJoon - not blood related to earlier mentioned Kim Taehyung -, thick glasses hiding his eye smile. 

"You're water for the thirsty men sir," you sighed, picking one treat from the box and practically moaning at the simple yet tasteful ball of happiness. "Also, I can't believe you went to Jin's without me!"

"If you had answered my texts you'd know I was going," he quipped back, shrugging teasingly. You squinted at him, grabbing your phone and seeing that, for it was on silent the whole weekend you had let slip NamJoon's invite for this morning. Tsking, you put it away, snatching the box from his hands.

"Not an excuse mister, you have full access to my house," you countered, and he had the nerve to look coy, looking away in defeat. But in that motion you were able to see the badly hidden hickey painted on the side of his neck, giving you an idea why he didn't invade your apartment that morning. You'd tease him for that later, after figuring out who he had a date with.

"Anyway, be glad there's still some left, I ate most of it on my way here, I was starving,"

"I know you since we were children, you owe me this." Yes. Kim NamJoon, head of TI and the clumsiest guy to walk on earth was your childhood best friend and the only one in your current circle that knew about your past. Even more, JungKook used to admire NamJoon from a young age, and though you two were glued at the hip since even before your brother joined the family, JungKook warmed up pretty well to him. But when JungKook left, he had cut all ties with everyone from his past, embracing the new life presented to him, and leaving an equally devastated NamJoon missing a younger brother. That you couldn't forgive him for. 

You got back to your desk, followed by NamJoon that was still after the doughnut holes even after having half a portion. He was stressed with the end of the month, where deadlines piled up and everyone was at each other's throats to get stuff done. You couldn't do much to ease his burden, too piled with your own work to try and help him with his. Besides, you were shit at programming. 

"Oh I knew I smelled something familiar- Wait, you went to that patisserie down the street?" A cheerful face peeked from the other cubicle and revealed a handsome man eyeing your food. You quirked an eyebrow at Jung Hoseok, one of your other co-workers and part of said circle of friends. Not that you had that many people you truly enjoy talking to but you liked to live by the company's motto: quality is better than quantity. And that was also why the number of employees was so much less than others in the same area because Min YoonGi liked to hire only the best ones - and because he didn't want to waste time firing people later, you were aware. 

For example, Jung Hoseok was an amazing designer, perfectionist and hard-working, even if he looked aloof and happy-go-lucky most of the time. But there was a reason for that, and because he expected from himself only the best, Hoseok - or Hobi, how he was called endearingly - also expected near perfection from his colleagues. 

Unconsciously he had put himself in charge of keeping everyone in the line. And if anyone thought he wouldn't impose respect with his light demeanor, better change their mind quickly. The man was sharp and ruthless when disappointed, flipping his entire mood in a matter of seconds. It wasn't a point of him being bipolar or anything, he was just the type of parental figure that you wanted to only be on his good side. 

"Not me, NamJoon fetched those before arriving at work. Want one?" Extending the bag at him, you saw how Hobi's eyes twinkled as he fetched a couple of sweets from the bag and chuckled to yourself, thinking he was cute, even if a couple of years older than you. 

"Thanks, man I really needed this- Wow that's a hickey, if I've ever seen one," Hoseok was quick to notice as he turned to NamJoon, voice getting louder as he couldn't get a hold of his surprise. Your best friend's eyes widened greatly, apparently not aware that either the bruise was showing or that it was there at all while pulling his collar up. "Sorry dude, I couldn't help it, just... Sorry." Hoseok winced again, retreating to his desk while NamJoon glanced around in a panic to access who had heard the announcement. Apparently no one, but the crew had a sharp ear, you were aware. You just hoped Mou - who had a massive crush on him since he joined but never had the courage to tell him - hadn't heard it too.

Sighing, you got up your chair, grabbing NamJoon's hand and your purse in the other, meeting his lost puppy eyes. "C'mon, I'll fix this up. But you owe me an explanation, mister." You demanded while dragging him to the unisex room. 

Your only regret was leaving the doughnut holes on top of your table, easy prey for all the wolves in the section. 

The meeting was first thing in the morning, so you arrived an hour earlier to avoid any accidents and had a spare outfit in your bag if anything - NamJoon and his clumsy ass - were to happened to the cute but professional outdo you had put together so carefully. Mou was the first to greet you in the morning, her smile not quite reaching her eyes - maybe she had heard Hoseok's outburst the day before after all - as she handed you a cup with coffee and the keys to the meeting room.  

You sighed. It was a tiring job the one you had, but it was at the same time fulfilling and well-paid. Min Yoongi was strict as he did expect everyone to work hard, but he was extremely fair when it came to paychecks. Every single extra thing the employees did was taken into account and correctly inserted into your account - including that one presentation you were to do for him. 

"You're early today huh?" As if by summoning, a sleepy toned voice echoed through the room while you arranged your things - jolt of surprise barely concealed, and you could hear his quiet snicker when he noticed - and Min YoonGi entered the room. "Wouldn't expect any less of you." 

You turned to him with a small smile, acknowledging his compliment, and waiting for what he had to say. YoonGi wouldn't show up before the meeting for no reason at all, you were aware. "So, I'm sure you read about our employers and are well-prepared for this but," He started, and suddenly your blood started to run cold. But? That's never good. He's going to make my life difficult, I feel it! 

"The thing is, that company was recently bought by another one - don't look so scared, nothing has changed technically - and now you're going to be meeting the new owners, so just wanted to give you a heads up." The way he spoke was clearly as if he was casually mentioning that he had coffee in the morning and had an easy trip to the job today, but his words still couldn't avoid your internal panicking. Still, you nodded, swallowing the nervous lump in your throat, because you were a good designer, but could handle so much pressure. At least the whole ordeal wouldn't be changed. You breathed out. 

"Okay boss, I'll handle this to the best of my abilities," you assured him, trying to put a brave face to the man that had hired you but was usually treating you like a sister/daughter he kept at arm's length. Even the satisfying glint of his eyes wasn't unnoticed by you, a sign of trust in your words. 

"Good. Now, they have arrived earlier than expected, you think we can start or should make them stick to the schedule?" At that point Min YoonGi was definitely taunting you, corner of his mouth twitching slightly with undisclosed humor. You rolled your eyes. 

"Send them in, I'm ready." Was what you answered, but minutes later you would regret that sentence immensely. Maybe you should have trusted your gut for once, as it told you that something was not right the moment your boss stepped outside the meeting room to get the new employers. 

Because your smile faltered upon seeing that the man following your boss back inside was no less than - and that for some reason wasn't unexpected - Jeon JungKook.

--

So this is the layout we had and the whole process our team worked on with the previous employer - Mr. Park right here can confirm," you smiled warmly at the man who was accompanying the new owner for the meeting, glad of his reassuring and soothing presence. "But we are completely open to discussion and suggestions if the idea isn't to Mr. Jeon's interest." You tried to keep smiling as you glanced at the man who once had been part of your family now standing at the other side of the table with a completely unreadable expression while glaring at you. 

"Well, I think we don't think that much different right?" Park Jimin, later owner - now co-owner of the 'ARMY' clothing line - nudged JungKook's arm to snap him back from staring at you so blatantly. YoonGi cleared his throat softly by the end of the table. 

"Yes, we'll discuss some more of this project in the future, but for now it's fine," he said, and you had to restrain from quirking at eyebrow at him, though you could feel droplets of sweat trickling down your neck. Fine? "Next time though, I'd like to hold a meeting on my grounds, if that's okay with you?" And then he fucking turned to your boss, as if you weren't the one busting your ass in the last half hour explaining a project almost set to happen all over again. 

"I think you should ask Miss Y/L/N, she's the one responsible for this," JiMin piped up again, and you were so glad he did, but not as how that forced the arrogant face of that other man to look back at you as if he was too tired to repeat his question.

"Won't be a problem, sir. We'll-"

"We? Weren't you the head of this project alone?" A frown creased deep between JungKook's eyebrows, as he looked down to his phone - probably checking his schedule -, already up and ready to leave. JiMin got up as well, seems to be confused by his partner's behavior, and you bit the side of your cheek in anger. 

"Of course Miss Y/L/N is the prime creator of this whole entrepreneur," this time it was Min YoonGi's time to sprout into the conversation, and you were thankful he did before you said something insolent. "But to avoid being persuaded for any side whatsoever, she will be taking one from the team with her to the meeting - having in mind that Mr. JiMin will also be attending to keep it balanced." 

For some reason, it looked like Jeon was taken by surprise, for his eyes widened for a moment before glancing at your boss. He wouldn't think we'd meet completely alone now, would he? 

"Right, exactly. Mr. Park and I will be the only ones present, so it's only fair. I shall then talk to your secretary? I have a few days available." 

"N-no JungKook, I think this you'll have to discuss with Miss Y/N, she's the one that's going to meet us there..." And just like that JungKook seemed to have lost his pose of nonchalant, seeming exasperated to leave the room but needing to face you one more time before doing so. 

"Next Tuesday at 8 am at the north building?" What was he trying to do, set a romantic date or a professional one? Because either the case, he was failing miserably. You grabbed your mobile from the table, expression still stern and serene. 

"I'll put it on the schedule. It's okay with you if I take Kim TaeHyung with me, boss?" You slightly turned to the man that looked as amused as someone would be while watching a drama unfold. He was only missing a snack. 

"Sure, though he's a trainee..." The little squint your boss gave you was enough to tell you he was onto something about this whole thing - and if you could bet, you'd say he was thinking of something along the lines of ex-lovers or some other cheesy crap he secretly loved so much. 

Thought it was much, much more complicated than that.

"It's good for him to learn on the job, plus his skills will help me, I'm sure." You explained, receiving a shrug in response from your boss. That was that then. 

"We're all set then, I'm glad!" Park JiMin chirped, extending his hand at you. "It was really nice seeing you again Miss. Y/N, keep a great job!" He complimented after you shook his hand back with a small bow and a smile. Jeon's hand also appeared in front of you, for grasping. 

"Till we meet again, Miss. Y/L/N." He said as you did the same to him, after a beat of hesitancy. It was somehow hurtful the way he said your family name in such an easy, detached way. As if he never was under it in the past, for so many years. 

And it was in that way you realized the abysm between the two of you, the gap that separated your worlds definitely and clearly. He was no one to you, and you were no one to him. 

________________________ masterlist

[xonxsm]

pastel || bnha x male!reader

---》 two 《---

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

class went on normally, with a few glances occasionally being thrown at the [h/c]-male, to which he never noticed- he was too busy daydreaming about kermit and pepe the frogs' forbidden love.

'mi amor,' [m/n] thought to himself with a weird voice, looking at the "man" he formed with his fingers, imagining it as kermit. setting his head on the desk he made kermit kneel in front of pepe, with kermit holding out imaginary flowers.

'i cannot hold this inside me anymore... my beautiful boyfriend, dear pepe, my love, will you marry and run away with me?'  pepe let out dramatic tears and nods aggressively, [m/n] about to make both hands 'kiss' before aizawa brought him to his attention.

"we will be choosing a class rep today."

almost everyone started talking at once, mostly about how much they wanted to be class rep and why them people should choose them; until iida shushed everyone by saying they should choose by voting. [m/n] looked lost.

bruh. i just started, like, two hours ago. i don't even know anything about them- wtf lol-

sighing, he doodled the poop emoji with hearts and flies surrounding it before folding it up and submitting his 'vote'.

midoriya and momo ended being chosen as class president and vice president respectively, while iida sulked in a corner. bakugo- an ash-blonde boy started shouting about the people that voted for broccoli while explosions went on around him.

:o boomboom be handsome tho, me hearteu umu

the bell rang right after that. [m/n] stretched, excited for food, but quickly slouched as he realised he had no idea where the canteen was. he decided to just follow the others, and grinned when he arrived, quickly running to the line to get food.

<<>><<>><<>>

PROBLEM, TwT.

holding his tray he walked around, hoping to spot an empty table. there were many empty seats, but [m/n] being the little antisocial bean he is he refused to walk up and ask if he could sit. he was about to leave the lunch room and go eat in the bathroom AlOnE before he spotted a pink-haired and skinned girl frantically waving him over to sit at her table.

grinning he strutted over with his tray, his tail flicking slightly as he sat down beside an electric blonde. "heyyyy-"

"hey! i'm mina. this is kaminari, bakugo, kirishima annnd sero." mina gave him a big smile while he munched on his sushi rolls.

"yoe." [m/n] mumbled with his mouth full of rice, waving. quickly finishing his rice balls he was about to reach for his banana milk when suddenly loud alarms started blaring. [m/n] let out a soft whimper as he massaged his ringing ears. confused voices and shuffling of students filled the lunch room.

"warning: there has been a level 3 security breach. this is not a drill." an upperclassmen stood up, screeching about how this hasn't happened in three years and everyone ran out of the lunch room, [m/n] somehow getting caught up in the crowd. he could feel tears building up, slowly getting harder and harder to breathe. just as he was about to collapse on the floor- a hand grabbed him and roughly pulled [m/n] to the side, slamming him against the wall.

waht. oh shiddy tiddies I'm being pinned against de wall. a flustered [m/n] looked up into curious red eyes. "uh- thankz."

kirishima only grinned, showing off his sharp teeth. [m/n] shyly fiddled with his tie, looking behind kirishima when he heard a familiar voice shout. he looked over to the floating dude shouting about the breach caused by the 'press'. everything was sorted out, everyone stopped running and went back to what they were doing before. [m/n] yeeted himself outta the corner, quickly walking back to the cafeteria with a still grinning kirishima in tow.

walking back to the table where he was sitting before the breach he dramatically dropped to his knees to where his fallen tray was, his food splattered on the ground. "Noooo... me love, me zalmon roll, me banana milk." clutching his chest with a sad look he picked up the fallen tray and food before casually dumping it in the trash can, a happy look immediately on his face as he let out a smol burp, setting his phat ass on his seat.

kirishima only stared at him like he was the most unmanly thing in the whole universe. BiPoLaR MuCh Ay-

"E." [m/n] stated as he stared at the approaching group he sat with before, munching on a bag of chips he pulled out of n o w h e r e.

realising he was probably blocking the standing group from getting into their seats he stood up in shy, his ears lowering as he stepped aside for them to pass and sit down. mina, sitting in the middle immediately pulled him down next to her, giving him a smol noogie before successfully stealing [m/n]'s last chip.

"beach." [m/n] sulked, throwing the empty potato chip bag in her face, to which she somehow dodged and it smacked bakugo square in the face.

"HEY YOU LITTLE-" [m/n] shrieked, quickly retrieving the empty bag, placing it on the side as he shifted away a little. bakugo only huffed and continued eating his food, while [m/n] sipped on a banana milk that magically appeared.

uncomfortable silence filled the table as [m/n] shifted awkwardly in his seat, feeling like he was the cause. he was about to get up, using "i wantz some more banana milk" as an excuse before mina pushed him back down.

"hey, are your ears and tail part of your quirk? ooo wait CAN I TOUCH THEM? THEY FLUFFY 🥺"

a certain green-haired boy across from them listened in, hearing the word 'quirk'.

"yez! me tail and earz are part of my quirk. i can alzo zhift into a wolf, and like, run really fast. and zure you can touch me earz," [m/n] replied, lifting his ears a little as mina pet his ears like how you would pet a dog- as he let out really soft purrs from his throat.

and scribbling intensifies for midoriya.

"you talk weird," kaminari blurted out, his ears immediately turning a little red. "not that its bad or anything-"

"yeh, itz juzt me long azz tongue, it makez it kinda hard to form wordz- zadly i can't control itz length."

but, i have good tongue technology. [m/n] let out a soft giggle before cringing at his own voice, pouting slightly as he felt mina stop petting his ears. IMMEDIATELY turning red when he felt something poking his tail.

"ZLKDFJNKZ WOMAN!" he quickly jumped up, shifting his tail to cover his growing um... area before shooting mina a glare. "DON'T TOUCH ME TAIL!"

then he dashi ran outta the lunch room to the bathroom, feeling his whole body turn hot as the others stared at his disappearing figure confused.

<<>><<>><<>>

[m/n] boredly stared on as midoriya decided to give iida his position of class rep. not even bothering to continue his story of pepe and kermit, he laid his head down on his desk again, yawning a little.

"psst!"

sero and kaminari poked his ears as he looked over. "dude, you ok? you just zoomed outta there."

[m/n] coughed, slightly embarrassed as he moved his tail closer. "yeah, totally finez."

totally did not get a boner because someone touched my tail. ahem. he was grateful for the fur on his ears, feeling them heat up as he buried his head between his arms.

[m/n] was still groaning internally as the others cheered for the new class president, the one and only iida tenya.

<<>><<>><<>>

"for today's hero training we will be having three different instructors; with them being me, all might and another person you will meet later." aizawa droned on about the training, holding out a card with the word 'rescue' with all caps written on it. he pointed to a rack full of suitcases where the costumes were put. [m/n] rushed over after aizawa told them to get ready- he was quite excited to put on his costume which was shipped to japan after it was completed in [your country]. grabbing a suitcase with his name he skipped to the changing rooms, humming.

[m/n]'s suit was rather child-like, but also kinda revealing. short-sleeved [h/c] shirt with a long v-neck that was tucked into a pair of black pants that folded in mid thigh- and of course a hole in the back so he could comfortably tuck his tail out. then some bandages that acted as gloves and socks, and black boots. to top it all off a [f/c] cloak that reached his knees.

he checked in the suitcase, hoping to find a collar but was disappointed to find nothing.

well i didn't order for one to be made, i guess-

he stuffed the suitcase and collar into his locker and quickly ran out to where the bus was, lining up as iida told.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

word count: 1536 words

ahem.. no, [m/n] isn't in heat.

from what i read from other uh more mature fanfics hybrids have sensitive ears and t a i l s. so yeah [m/n] isn't in heat. it's gonna be weird if he is already in heat after he joins yuuei for like five hours.

the pepe and kermit part gave me inspiration, so I'm going to be writing a whole book dedicated to their forbidden love.

. . .

just kidding lol no-

unless~ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[cuteandtwisted]

Hi bby💛 How are you? I hope life is not too hard on you. I miss u and bfyt, but take all the time you need. I was wondering if you could give us a little sneak peek? Of what bfyt Isak and Even are doing rn.

(hey bub 💛 ily. here’s a short snippet)

“Alright. What do you call a person who’s afraid of Santa?” Julie’s voice finally breaks the deafening silence.

“What?” Even and Isak interject at once, a glimpse of their long forgotten oneness.

The air gets thicker around the room, Isak’s gaze too heavy on Even’s skin. The couch suddenly feels too small for Even’s limbs. He’d go back to bed if it weren’t for Julie and Isak all but forcing him to “hang out” in the living room.

Even looks away first.

“That’s not a thing,” Even mutters, trying to look disinterested but hoping that his looking away hasn’t wounded Isak. He’s being cold toward him right now. But he hopes that Isak doesn’t take it to heart.

“Says who?” Julie adds.

“I don’t know. But it’s not a thing,” says Even.

“It’s a thing if one person feels it,” Isak chimes in, and this time Even can’t help but meet his eyes.

They’re the same eyes. Still green. Still cold. Still warm. Still indecipherable. Even wants to reach out and shake him to see if they’d rattle, if he’d rattle. Isak who never rattles. Isak who’s still here, sitting at the other end of the couch and pretending to study – who studies in the middle of July? Isak who stops by every day to babysit Even and teach him words he’ll never use as if to fill the void in his brain and stop madness from creeping in again.

Even wants to rattle him.

“Whatever,” Even mumbles harshly then looks away again, guilt seeping through him and settling in his bones.

Guilt is all he feels, all he’s felt since that day, since that night. But Isak doesn’t react. He doesn’t show any emotion. He’s just there every day to hover, to keep him mindless company, to share random facts in differential psychology and pretend that everything is fine. Nothing’s fine.

“Claus-trophobic!” Julie breaks the silence once again, this time with nervous enthusiasm and forced laughter.

“What?” Even frowns, confused.

“A person afraid of Santa! Claus-trophobic! Get it?”

It takes Even a full second to bring his palm over to his face.

“God! Mom…” he laments.

He doesn’t laugh. Normally he would. On a different day, this lame joke would send him in a fit of contagious giggles, but not today. Not right now. Right now, it’s hard to do most things.

He hears it then, soft and reserved laughter. The laugh of a person who doesn’t laugh often, but who laughs with their whole heart when they do.

Isak is laughing, giggling, caught completely off guard. And it’s the most entrancing sound and sight.

Julie and Even both watch Isak until the last giggle leaves him.

“Sorry,” Isak says as he clears his throat, a smile on his face still. “Just wasn’t expecting that. Sorry.”

The silence stretches for a while and Even finds himself wishing that he wasn’t putting on an act in front of Isak, wishing he could tell him that he shouldn’t apologize for laughing. That the fact that Even can’t laugh right now doesn’t mean Isak can’t laugh either. Isak is allowed to laugh.

“Don’t apologize for laughing, honey,” Julie speaks as if having read Even’s mind. “It was a terrible joke, but you can still laugh.”

Isak looks at Even, his eyes still green, still cold, still warm. He’s telling Even a thousand things with those eyes, but Even doesn’t speak their language yet, wonders if he ever will.

They stare at each other until Even speaks, finally contributing to the stupid game Isak and Julie have been playing for over thirty minutes now.

“What do you call someone who forces their presence on other people even when it’s not wanted?” Even bites, gauging for a change in Isak’s calm demeanor.

“Overbearing,” Isak replies in a heartbeat, “unyielding. Or maybe just goal-oriented. Why?”

Julie bites her lower lip as if she’s anticipating the worst while Even stares back at Isak who doesn’t even flinch.

“No reason,” Even shrugs. “Just thought I’d take a stab at this word lover thing or whatever.”

“Logophile,” says Isak.

“Huh?”

“The word for someone who loves words. It’s logophile.”

Even feels hurt. He doesn’t know why, but everything Isak does hurts him.

“Yeah? And what’s the word for someone who enjoys watching another person experience failure, trouble, and humiliation? Such as, let’s say, a bipolar dude wallowing in misery after embarrassing himself and ruining everything yet again! What’s the word for people who enjoy that?”

“Even!” Julie’s voice sounds less warm than it did a few minutes prior. Even takes it as a sign that he’s crossed a line.

But Isak doesn’t budge. “Schadenfreude,” he nearly whispers.

“What?”

“The word for that is schadenfreude.”

“That’s not a thing,” says Even.

“It is. Google it if you want.”

Even is tempted to pull out his phone. But he knows that Isak is right. He knows that Isak could do this all day and all night. He knows that there’s no beating Isak at this game.

“I should go,” Isak says after Even fails to respond. “It’s getting late.”

“Oh, you should take some food with you back to kollektivet!” Julie jumps to her feet, relieved that the cold war between Isak and Even is about to go into ceasefire for the day.

.

Isak comes into Even’s room after assisting Julie with Tupperware and the guilt comes back in full force, leaving him feeling vulnerable and raw sitting on his own bed.

Even wants to apologize for being awful, but he doesn’t know how.

“What do you call someone who wants to apologize for being a dick, but who doesn’t know how to stop being a dick right now?” he tries.

Even is always overwhelmed with tenderness when Isak is in his room, by his bed. And he can finally see him, all of him right now, in skinny jeans and a black Ramones shirt that’s too big for him, his hair a mess of curls Even hasn’t run his hands through in far too long. Isak looks lovely.

He also looks big and safe towering over Even by the foot of the bed right now.

Even gasps when Isak’s hands come up to cup his face, his gaze warm and soft and kind.

“Someone who’s doing their best,” Isak says, and it takes Even a moment to realize that he’s answering his question. “You’re doing your best.”

Even would cry if he weren’t feeling so hollow and beaten inside. He would cry. He would cry for hours. He would cry for days. The simple words provide him with so much comfort, he feels tension leave his body instantly.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers into Isak’s hand, leaning into it and closing his eyes. He just wants to breathe.  

“It’s okay,” Isak whispers right back, his thumbs caressing his cheeks, soothing him, reassuring him.

Even looks up when the guilt settles in his gut once again. He wants to ask Isak how he’s doing, how it feels to be alone with him in this room again, the very room where Even tried to make love to him just a couple of weeks ago. He wants to ask, but he doesn’t know how. He doesn’t know how to ask for time.

“What do you call someone you’re probably cosmically bonded to?” Isak asks, making Even’s eyes blink open and his heart pick up in his chest.

Your soulmate or something.

“Cosmically?” Even repeats with a small smile, his face still cupped in Isak’s hands, Isak who’s standing between his legs now. “Like in space?”

“In space and time and other dimensions, yes.”

“I don’t know,” Even mumbles, looking down, suddenly feeling nervous and hopeful, something he hasn’t felt since Pride, since they took a cab together and Isak kissed him with so much abandon and need that they were both in tears by the time they pulled apart. “You call them your science partner? I don’t know.”

Isak smiles before shaking his head. “No. You call him Even.” 

[kimjongdaely]

Nostalgic

Pairing: Optional bias x Reader

Warning: mentions of sexual intercourse, lots of texting so it might be a bit confusing, self harm

Summary: Liking your best friend only ever has two outcomes: happiness, or soul-crushing despair. And mine was the latter.

There’s nothing scarier in this world than change.

Change is scary.

I hate change.

There are so many moments where I think ‘I wish time would stop’ or ‘I wish it would always be like this.’

But it never is.

The last time I had “fallen in love,” it had hurt, bled, and scarred.

There was a boy I liked.

Every story starts this way. 

And every heartbreak ends the same way.

Middle school science class.

Group project.

Assigned groups.

Ugh.

That was how I met him. 

It wasn’t love at first sight. But there was a bond. We were comfortable around each other. He made me laugh. I made him laugh. We became close quickly, until we were ‘best friends.’ 

We didn’t spend a day without calling or texting each other. We would help each other out. We studied together, hung out together, and was each others’ wingman. It was a very special time for me, probably the happiest I’ve been.

But he was mean.

No, not really.

He was mean in his own way, because he was too friendly. Too nice. Too casual.

Too hard to read.

He was hot and cold and bipolar.

He would call me by pet names, he cared about me, he flirted and was cheesy and—

It made me hope.

I fell hard.

The kind that had me falling from the sky, crashing onto the concrete ground head-on. The kind that shattered your body and soul.

The kind that tore you apart inside out.

I didn’t know what to do.

It was the first time I had really fallen in love. Sure, there were a few times where I ‘crushed’ on people, the kind where I would talk and giggle and watch the person I liked but it never really hurt.

Not like this.

I was scared.

I was happy with him. I wanted to stay like this. I was happy staying as his best friend. It hurt when he liked other girls. It hurt every time he would smile and tell me he liked this other girl, this girl that was prettier, smarter, much more charming than I could ever be. It hurt when he would use cheesy pick-up lines on me and then tell me it wasn’t for me.

It

was

never

for

me.

But I was content like that. I would endure it. Because I loved him. I wanted to see him happy. I wanted to be his strength, for him to rely on me and care for me, even if it was just as a friend. I wanted him to continue smiling at me and laughing like usual. I didn’t want to scare him away. I didn’t want to tell him. I didn’t want this to end.

But humans are so greedy.

It was never enough.

I wished I could be by his side, and why couldn’t I? Didn’t he say he cared about me? Didn’t he say I was his best friend? Why couldn’t I become something more?

I could make him happy.

I thought that so many times.

I don’t know if I could’ve.

I was a coward.

But brave at the same time.

I confessed through text because it was the best I could do. I wanted him to know. I wanted him to look at me properly, see me as a girl instead of simply his best friend.

I wanted him to know.

I wanted him to like me back.

I like you, I wrote.

This is another joke, right? He replies

I was nothing more than a joke to him. My feelings, all of it was simply a joke.

I’m serious, I told him.

Dude, quit joking.

I’m not joking!

He stopped replying.

There was so much distance between us. It was suffocating. He avoided me at school. Didn’t text me anymore unless it was school related. Pretended he didn’t know me. Pretended I didn’t exist.

I was crumbling inside. I don’t know what to do. I was scared and I felt alone. Abandoned.

By the person who meant so much to me.

I don’t know if he was being considerate. If cutting me off like that was his way of being ‘nice.’ Maybe he didn’t want to lead me on more. Maybe. Maybe not. I don’t know. Still don’t.

I thought of asking. But I’m so scared.

I’m desperate.

I wanted to get closer to him again. I had no other option, nothing to talk with him about. He would reply if it’s school-related, right? Through text I asked him to help me study for a science test. His answer was no. He said he would be studying with my best friend.

It hurt. I was bitter. I was too cold.

I was mad. Because I was sad. And I acted childish and spoiled and we fought. He said he didn’t care about me anymore. He said I get mad too easily and called me mean. 

Me, mad, mean!? I was livid. My heart ached and my eyes stung. I wonder what expression he would’ve had then. I wonder how he would’ve reacted if he saw how hurt I really was.

You’re the mean one, I wrote out desperately. I wanted him to see things from my view, for once.

You’re right. I’m sorry. I care about you a lot. You’re my best friend. You’re the one person I care about most in my life.

The words on my screen looked like a curse and a blessing at the same time. And I knew it was a lie, but it was a beautiful lie. For the briefest moment, I felt happy.

Until I was crushed by sorrow again as I wrote out, I can bet a million dollars I’m not and you know I’m right.

I dug my own grave. I should’ve just let him lie. I should’ve just believed in them. Would I be happier?

Yeah, you’re right.

I don’t remember if he hesitated when he replied with that. I don’t think he did. He knew he was lying to me.

He was mean.

I didn’t know what to say to that. I didn’t know he could tear me down again.

You’re being too emotional and you overreact all the time. The freaking reason is because you like me. You should stop liking me. It’s hurting you.

He still cared. I felt pathetic, because that’s all I could think about. He still cared. But never in that way. Or maybe he was just saying that because I was bothering him? Because I was annoying?

I desperately replied.

I know you don’t like me. I know you never will, so I’m trying the best I can.

But if you know I never will, why are you trying? 

The final nail to the coffin.

They lied when they said time heals all wounds.

We didn’t talk for months. I did all kinds of stupid crazy things to get his attention. It was pathetic, foolish. It never worked. I was making a fool of myself, acting like a clown. I’m so embarrassed of myself.

So embarrassed.

I hate myself.

I hate these feelings.

More so because I still loved him.

I hate myself.

I can’t stop.

I

regret

telling

him.

Middle school graduation. I cried so much that day. Children are funny that way, when they see people crying they naturally want to cry too. A lot of people were transferring schools for high school, including my best friend. But in all honesty I wasn’t particularly sad. I cried simply because everyone else was.

Is there something wrong with me?

Have I grown so numb that I can no longer feel sorrow? Have I gone to the point where I cry just because I should?

I saw him.

It’s been a while since I’ve talked to him, but I saw him a lot. My eyes naturally sought him out, followed his every movement. 

Today is graduation day, surely I can approach him, right? Surely, he wouldn’t push me away on this day?

I asked him for a hug. Everyone was hugging everyone because so many people were leaving. It wasn’t weird for me to do this.

“If I hugged you I would definitely break down.” He answered, looking like he was holding back tears. 

“Please?”

He hugged me.

It was warm. Comforting. Soothing.

But it was also so, so painful.

High school crept up on me. Before I knew it, I was a high schooler. I haven’t talked to him very often, but it wasn’t like we were avoiding each other either. We greeted each other when we needed to, but our group of friends were different so we didn’t see each other often.

He had become so different.

He had always been popular, but popularity in high school was different. It meant alcohol, smoking, sex.

Everyone at this age wanted to grow up a little quicker, and it was the only way they knew how.

Stupid, really.

He died his hair. Went out drinking a lot. Did a lot of stupid things, but that’s alright. Because that’s what makes them popular, no?

He got a girlfriend.

He never stayed with one for too long, but she was different.

Could I say he loved her? I don’t really know.

But they were close. They had sex. He once said he would marry her.

They ‘loved’ each other.

Until they didn’t.

After a year or two, she transferred. She once said she wouldn’t be able to live without him. She cut herself over him. Threatened him several times.

Later, I heard she got herself a new boyfriend.

So maybe time does heal all wounds.

My memories are honestly very blurry. I don’t remember much anymore, other than the pain, and the overwhelming sense of nostalgia. 

Every time I look back, I would always wonder what if. What if I never told him? What if he liked me back?

There are snippets of memories that I recall.

Me giving him a cookie on Valentine’s day, only for him to throw it on the ground.

A middle school dance where we made a circle and slow-danced together, me and him standing next to one another.

Movie night at school where we fooled around.

A time where we worked together and someone mistook us as a couple.

Being teamed up in gym class.

So insignificant moments make such a big impact on me. 

Even when we graduated high school, he wasn’t there. Didn’t show up for graduation dinner, wasn’t there when we signed each other’s yearbook.

Now I’m in college.

Things don’t hurt as much.

I still think I’m stupid every time I look back. I get embarrassed at myself, always asking myself why I did such things.

After I had just moved, he texted me about the ‘good old days.’

A few weeks before summer vacation, a friend I haven’t seen or spoken to for a long time texted me, asking me if I could meet up now. The clock said 11:30pm. He was nuts.

I declined. He said it was too bad because he would be leaving tomorrow.

Oh, that’s too bad.

If I could, I really wanted to go. Am I stupid for still thinking that?

The next day I decided to text him. It’s been so long, surely nothing matters anymore. We’re still friends, aren’t we?

Hey! Sorry I couldn’t meet up with you yesterday. Next time you come, let’s meet up!

His reply.

Yeah let’s meet up again when I’m back.

A/N: Yes this is all true and real and happened to me. Sorry for this gloomy fic. For those angst lovers, happy reading! 

©kimjongdaely

Request and let’s love!

[mentalcurls]

9.3 NAMACISSI

Oh God I LOVED this clip. I loved it so much. I could die for this clip. 

A few scattered thoughts I had while watching it (they might not be in chronological order cause I’m at work and I can’t do my usual watch-stop-write-rewatch thing, sorry.)

So without further ado:

Allow me to be bitter here for a second: this should have happened yesterday. If Martino wasn’t so infuriatingly stubborn in his ways, if his first instinct wasn’t to close in on himself despite seeing how good it was when he opened up to his friends last time, how much support he got, how much lighter he felt, this would have been yesterday and neither us nor him would have suffered as much. That being said of course I love Marti as he is, wouldn’t trade him for the world, so I accept his flaws and the pain they bring.

The boys going to the bathroom together, in a group. Discussing the love life of one of them in the school bathroom. Washing their hands together (actually, unfortunately it is noteworthy that they was their hands at all bc men are often disgusting). Another typically feminine trope subverted. (The only thing missing was one of them fixing their hair, but it wouldn’t have fit the feel of the scene, I think.)  Toxic masculinity thank u, next; LudoBesse and Skam Italia writers thank you, now more.

How blue is that scene? The bathroom is of course very blue, the tiles, the floor. The light is cold. Marti is wearing a blue jumper, Giovanni a blue shirt, Elia a blue track top.

(Luchino is wearing warm brown *insert “coincidence? I think not” gif here*)

We cannot be sure this is the same bathroom where 5.4 Pausa took place, but it is very clear that LudoBesse thinks not-so-positive conversations regarding mental health need to be had in bathrooms.

I couldn’t find any particular significance in the order the boys came out of the stalls, but I’m sure I’m gonna read some really interesting theories from you guys soon. Maybe worst to best at reading Marti? worst to best at giving advice?

Luca, knowing the pain of being half-naked in the cold for several hours from the previous weekend is Very Worried about Niccolò, his saviour from the ice prison/cabin,  running around naked in the cold

Giovanni and the others watching Martino struggle with the soap dispenser/faucet thing and Gio stepping in to help him and direct him elsewhere just like he does in the conversation when he points out Martino shouldn’t trust the Internet about medical stuff

Giovanni starting his line with “Comunque”. It’s something Giovanni did in 6.5 Effettivamente (and here’s a lovely post by @zkainaat about it) and I’m starting to feel things about it. We talked a fair bit about “Martinese” these last few days and we all agree that nobody speaks it better than Giovanni, we also know Giovanni has a Martino voice and this “comunque” thing also strikes me as something that’s Marti-and-Gio’s, something Giovanni does for Martino to put him at ease or something he picked up from him. 

But, even more interestingly, where does this “comunque” also crop up? In our beloved 8.1 Patatine e marmellata, during “Buon viaggio”, of course, with Niccolò singing “Amore mio, comunque vada”. Coincidence? Nico stumbling on a bit of Martinese by chance? Another thing LudoBesse & co. will exploit to make us all suffer? Just me being too obsessed?

Giovanni gives the best advice. I need a Giovanni for myself and I can only aspire to reach the same level of wisdom as Giovanni Mago dell’Amore Garau.

Apparently, it’s a well know fact at liceo Kennedy that the school psychologist is obsessed with celery and I love that. He’s the closest thing we have to the representation of the actual quirky, weird af professors that usually roam the corridors of every Italian high school, but especially (imho) of liceo classico.

So they go to see the psycologist, dr. Roberto Spera. Someone with an actual degree. Thank God. (From what I read online, in Skam og Isak only speaks to Magnus whose mum is bipolar, and that’s cute but it also seems too much of a coincidence. IDK I haven’t seen the og so I can’t tell if it felt realistic, but I definitely like that in Skam Italia the boysquad went to a professional.)

Oh, dr. Spera how I missed you.

Giovanni Garau and Roberto Spera doing the Lord’s work and spreading the Very Important Message that you should not a) believe everything that’s online; b) only look up things online without talking to experts or reading their book/articles/papers etc.; c) self diagnose- or diagnose someone else on the basis of something you read on Wikipedia or WebMD

NAMACISSI. Guys, we knew it was something significant! *pats the whole fandom on the back*

“Is it Buddhist?” no, honey, that’s namastè

Dr. Spera’s desk is blue, he’s wearing blue, but the walls are yellowish and the light is much warmer here than in the bathroom.

Martino tells him everything this time. About Niccolò, about the off-again, on-again they went through, about finally getting together and being finally happy until last Friday. 

I wonder how amny encouraging looks and nods Giovanni had to give him to make Marti spill all the tea.

I wonder how many times the boys cut in and how many times their eyes widened and their ears perked up because Martino said something they hadn’t heard about before.

Robert Spera, patron saint of debunking false information and asking the right questions. 

And the KING OF SHADE. He disses Trump and reads Maddalena for filth while also shading Martino (”Tre mesi...UNA LUMINARE!”). We stan.

 I nearly fell over laughing when he didn’t know what blocking meant and I love Luca for explaining and promising to teach him, I bet poor Roberto has given out his number to subscribe to something and now there are so many telemarketers calling and messaging him trying to sell him the weirdest things.

Bless Luchino. As I mentioned before, I knew what was going to happen in this clip and I loved the things they changed but I also lovelovelove that Luca still got to tell Marti not to believe Maddalena. He’s naive, he has acted plain dumb, he has been ignorant to the point of offense, he is not the most empatically aware, so it’s much more significant when he’s the one to point things out.

And of course I love the wording and I feel for the translators who have to deal with it. And I love that dr. Spera uses the same words (what else could we expect from the man who asked “E se il copilota è andato a pisciare?”)

Luca casually dropping “Ti ama” (He loves you) and “È innamorato di te” (He’s in love with you), nonchalantly, like he’s talking about the weather and my heart doing high kicks and backflips. Can’t even begin to think what Marti’s was doing.

the boysquad Can’t Deal™ with Martino, Gio facepalms, Elia looks away with the far away expression of a soldier who just came back home, Luchino goes for the classic “Ma che cazzo stai a di’?” (WTF are you saying?) hand gesture

dr Spera looks on, approving

“Te l’ho già detto che ti devi fidare degli amici” MARTINO GUARDAMI MARTINOOOOO

dr Spera slips up and talks about the last time he and Marti talked, but he notices his mistake right away and fixes it changing the subject (THAT HOW YOU AVOID  BLOWING A COVER, DO YOU HEAR ME 3.4!NICCOLÒ?)

I love that Roberto Spera has one (1) “experiment” that’s so versatile he can use it for all occasions

Luchino not being able to physically support Martino by himself during the experiment though (I desperately tried not to read into this, because I want it to be a thing done for shits and giggles, I want it to be just fun, but my mind keeps replaying “so are you like..transgender?” and “whe two gay men have sex one is the man and the other one is the woman?” and, yeah, on his own Luchino would not be able to support Martino in the metaphorical sense either)

anyways, I love i Contrabbandieri for going to the psychologist’s office all together, both to support Marti and because they’ve already adopted his boyfriend Niccolò and he’s not feeling well, which makes Martino not feel well either and they want to know why-how-when-how can we help

I wonder how Gio will feel when he’ll inevitably get out of Martino that he went to talk to dr. Spera before coming out to him, before talking to him. Will he be hurt that his friend didn’t feel like he could talk to him? Will he feel guilty? 

(Let’s not forget that afaik the boysquad still doesn’t know about Filippo. How will they all, especially Giovanni, take the fact that Martino told basically a stranger about Nico before telling them? I need fic explorations of the dynamics that all these characters will create)

Anyways, once again Martino exits dr. Spera’s office with an important life lesson, a new outlook on life and hope, as well as bruises from falling on his ass

(Giovanni and Elia in that position, laughing at their friend are giving me ~feelings~ I don’t know why)

Well, I guess that’s it. My inbox is open if there’s anything you want to discuss!

[sakurasangcl]

BTS Reactions~ How they find out you have Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)- Hyung Line

Okay, so I personally do have ASD, and have been professionally diagnosed. I know the disorder is diverse so I did my best at writing this... It may be utter crap but hey I tried. If you want to learn more about ASD, here are a few links and don’t hesitate to send me an ask!

also the gifs aren’t mine and i mainly used them because they’re cute so...

makenae line

Jin:

“Jin?” you mumble, lightly nibbling on your lip while playing with them hem of your shirt.

“What is it, sweetheart?” He asks you, looking away from the television and intently at you,

causing your cheeks to redden.

“I have something important to tell you… that I probably should have already told you…” You admit, tentatively sitting yourself next to him on the couch.

“It’s alright. You can tell me anything you want to whenever you feel that the time is right.”

“I’m autistic,” you couldn’t help but blirt. It’s not something that you disliked; you were quite proud of being on the spectrum, in fact. You just normally kept that fact to yourself, especially where mental health was more of a taboo then where you were from. “I-I have Autism Spectrum Disorder, which means I don’t think like you all and most people…” you explain, the words running of your tongue now. “I don’t always understand things that I should-generally a lot of jokes… I also have some weird habits or ticks, which get worse when I am super stressed or nervous…. and I know this kind of thing is taboo, so I understand if you don’t want to keep seeing me anymore…”

“Y/n, don’t be silly. Something as simple as that isn’t going to change how I feel about you!”

“R-r-really? That’s all?” you stutter, a few tears escaping your eyes.

“Well, not quite…” Jin admits, causing you to freeze in fear. He chuckles and wipes away your tears with his thumb. “If you don’t get my jokes, I will explain them to you without any judgement. How does that sound?”

You let out a sigh and nod, as Jin pulls you into a hug.

“Thank you for telling me, Jagi,” He adds, kissing your forehead.

Suga: 

“Dog! Dog! Doggy! Ugh, they are so cute!” you giggle, your face inches from the window. Today Suga decided to sneak you into the studio while he worked, because he wanted the company.

“Are you going to point out every dog you see?” Yoongi chuckles, glancing at you.

“Yes. Dogs are cute.”

“Like you.”

His comment had you blushing scarlet, and also completely quiet. As he turned a corner, there was a beautiful golden retriever, one of your favorites.

“Did you give up pointing them out? I know that kind is your favorite.” Yoongi teases.

You stick your tongue out at him, and mumble, “Jerk.”

He scoffs lightly, and replies, “Me? Never.”

“But I want that dog. Can we go back and steal it. We can write a song about it.”

“That’s probably not a good idea. Both the theft and the song.”

“I tried,” you sigh to yourself.

“Ohhh, now that’s a pretty German Shepherd. It’s so pretty. I want that one too. Did you know that there was a German shepherd in World War II that got shot nine times and lived through it all?”

“How do you know all of these random facts? That’s the tenth one about dogs today!” Yoongi laughs.

“Well, when I was younger dogs were one of my special interests.”

“Special interest?” Yoongi repeats, not quite understanding.

“So,” you begin your classic spiel, “when people have Autism Spectrum Disorder, which is where you think differently than most people since your brains wired differently, you oftentimes have what is called a special interest. A special interest is basically just a topic you know a lot about. For me, it used to be dogs.”

“I see,” Yoongi says, “Then what is your special interest now?”

“Are you sure you want to know?”

“I don’t see why not…”

“Okay. Well…” you began.

RM: 

As soon as you knew for certain that Namjoon had feelings for you, you began to pull away. It wasn’t anything to do with him-it was all you. A part of you, specifically. You were at home, a cup of tea warming you up while you laid underneath a weighted blanket, trying not to cry. You really did have a huge crush on Namjoon and wanted your relationship to go further, but you didn’t want to cause him any more problems than he already had.

A soft knock on your door woke you from your calming ritual. Since you were expecting a package to arrive, you opened the door with no hesitation, only to find the man you were avoiding leaning against the doorframe.

“Y/n, babygirl, why are you avoiding me?” Namjoon asks, his voice low but soft.

You nearly drop your mug in surprise, but he quickly grabs your hands, holding it with you. “Be careful there, you wouldn’t want to cut yourself now would you?”

You shake your head and step back, and he releases his hands.

“May I come in?”

You nod and move aside from the doorway, and Namjoon steps inside and closes the door behind him. As he takes off his shoes you go back over to the couch and throw the weighted blanket over your legs, taking slow deep breaths to avoid having a panic attack.

Namjoon sat next to you, looking concerned. “You haven’t been answering my texts or calls. I haven’t seen you in a while and I was worried. Are you okay? Did I do something to push you away?” He seriously inquires of you.

You shake your head, worrying your lip between your teeth. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just me. You… you deserve better. I doubt you want to date someone who has autism.”

“Autism? Autism Spectrum Disorder, right?”

You tilt your head, surprised he has heard of it. “Yes,” you admit softly.

“I don’t mind dating someone on the Spectrum as long as you don’t mind dating me,” Namjoon joked, smiling.

“Are you sure? I can be kind of a pain sometimes… A lot of the time. I have a lot of problems…”

“Everyone has problems, y/n. You are no exception, nor am I, okay?”

“Okay, Oppa,” you agree, blushing red as you realized the words that came out of your mouth.

Namjoon laughs at your embarrassment and pulls you into a hug.

“I like when you call me Oppa,” he whispers in your ear, giving you a peck on your cheek.

JHope: 

You and Hobi had been having a wonderful day out. You were currently taking a walk in your favorite park, your hands occasionally brushing up against each other. Suddenly, the bright blue sky became dark with rain clouds, and you immediately started to freak out. You didn’t have an umbrella or raincoat, nor were you near the car. And you did not want to get wet.

“Hobi,” you say nervously, grabbing his hand so he turns to face you. “We need to go. Right now.”

“Y/n, we’ll be okay. I’m sure it’s just passing by. But of course, we can head back.” He soothes you, smiling brightly as always.

You pick up the pace in a vain attempt to beat the bipolar weather, but lose horridly. As soon as the car was in sight, the rain began to pour out of the sky with droplets feeling like the size of grapes. You let out a screech of horror as you run to the car, now completely drenched in water. You fumble getting inside the car, and sit down having the appearance of a cat being forcibly bathed.

“Ah, I was wrong,” Hobi admits, grinning apologetically.

“I don’t like being in wet clothes,” you say, louder than necessary. “I don’t like wet clothes… I don’t like wet clothes…” you repeat yourself under your breath, rocking a little in your seat.

“My place is closer, so I can take you there and you can borrow some of my clothes. How does that sound, Jagi?” Hobi offers with a smile.

You continue your mantra, so Hobi turns on your favorite violin concerto that he knows calms you down, Vivaldi’s The Four Seasons.

You hardly notice how Hobi gently pries you out of the car and walks you inside to his room. There, he pulls out clothes and wraps you in a towel.

“Here you are, Jagi.”

You nod in thanks and take the clothes to the bathroom, where you promptly return feeling a bit ashamed of your behavior. Hobi had also changed, and found a blanket to let you cuddle up in.

“Better now?” he asks you, wrapping the blanket around your shoulders.

You nod and lean in to hug him. “I’m really sorry I freaked out. I should have told you beforehand, I have autism spectrum disorder. Because of that, I have a lot of struggles in my daily life, one of which is an abrupt change of plans. I didn’t know it was going to rain, and I really hate getting wet…”

“Oh, I see. Thank you for telling me.” Hobi replies, kissing your forehead.

“You’re not… afraid?”

“Why would I be afraid of something that’s a part of you?”

“I dunno…” you shrug. “Well, thank you for not freaking out, as well and taking care of me,” you add, gently nuzzling him.

“Of course not. I have to take care of you as your Oppa.” He chuckles.

Pretty pretty please let me know what you think!

let me know if you want to be tagged in my reactions as well! 

[singingunderthecurtain]

DIAMOND (CEO AU Baekhyun Series) Part 8

Also on AFF

Diamond Mini Masterlist

Photo not mine, found it on Google.

Author: @julietsoddeye​ AU: CEO!Baekhyun Genre: Angst | Smut | Romance Pairing: Baekhyun x Lee Soojin (You/OC) [Written as if the reader is the OC] Trigger Warning: Smut on future chapters. Mentions of car accident. Mentions of being blind. Baekhyun being an a-hole. Word Count: 3,511

Plot: After 10 years of exile to another country, you are finally back home and you were surprised to find out that you are engaged to the son of your father’s long-time friend and business partner.

On this Chapter:

“You’re not supposed to be here, get out!”

Baekhyun locks the door of the fitting room and slid his way in front of you like a swift animal attacking their prey.

“Why are you locking the door?”

“I’ve been waiting for so long!”

“It’s only been a few minutes, Baekhyun. Please get out.”

“Is this the dress you want?”

He ignores what you said and took the dress from your hands. He examines and puts it in front of you like you were a paper doll.

“Good day and welcome Mr. Byun, Ms. Lee...”

The store manager greeted the moment you and Baekhyun enter the big brand store that you recognized owned by the Byun Group of Companies. You’re not surprised anymore that people who work for them know you already. It’s probably a protocol for them to know everything about their boss. From their favorite colors down to who they are fucking. Well maybe not to that extent, but it’s plausible.

You look around the fancy but empty boutique and they carry not just formal wears for women, but also wedding dresses from different local and international brands.

“We’ve already arranged a number of dresses of the colors and size your assistant asked us about and they are ready for Ms. Lee to try on inside the dressing room.”

“Great.”

Baekhyun beams.

“This way, please…”

The woman said as she points at a heavily curtained area of the store with her palms up. You smiled slightly and both you and Baekhyun followed her steps.

“I’m sorry Mr. Byun, but it’s store policy that Men are not allowed inside the dressing room. If you could just wait here in the lounge area, we will serve you any drinks of your request. I will personally assist Ms. Lee in trying out the dresses.”

“Can I do this on my own instead? I’ll call you when I need a hand.

You said as you got in the dressing room.

“Are you sure, Ms. Lee?”

She asks you, her facial expression hints that she doesn’t want you to do it alone.

“Yes.”

You gave her an assuring smile.

“To be honest with you Ms. Lee, you’re the first customer here who doesn’t want to be dressed. Are you really sure?”

She asks again, her face really desperate as if her job is on the line, it probably is but you’re uncomfortable changing in front of a complete stranger, other than people you’re close with.

“Really? Don’t they have hands of their own to use?”

The store manager kind of giggled but straightened her self just as quick as her little laugh.

“I will leave you alone then, Ms. Lee. Please call for me if you need anything, there is a buzzer over there that’s connected to my little device over here.”

She pointed at a button on the wall near the door and pulled out a small pager-looking thing from the pocket of her corporate jacket to show you.

“Thank you… Uhm… What’s your name?”

“Eunbi. Kang Eunbi.”

She said with the nicest smile you’ve ever seen.

“Thank you, Kang Eunbi-ssi.”

She finally left and you look at the selection of dresses they picked out for you to try. You glance at your bandaged arm and back to the 10 or more clothes hanging on a rolling rack. Only two have long sleeves and one of them is kind of in a thicker side fabric. It’s summer and you didn’t want to die of heatstroke so you take the one with the sheer lace sleeves.

You were mesmerized by the simplicity of it. It was a nude that’s a shade deeper than your skin color with a sweetheart neckline outside of a sheer lace lining that’s connected to the sleeves. There are multiple Swarovski crystal beads scattered elegantly around the chest and sleeves. The floor-length dress flows in the air like a breeze when you sway it around. It’s lightweight and it will be just magnificent to dance to.

It’s the perfect dress that will cover your arms as you’re not sure if the tiny wounds will completely heal by Saturday next week. And definitely a perfect color for a wedding. It’s not loud but the sparkle of the Swarovski is just enough to make you shine a little. You looked in the mirror, the garment in front of you as you admire the overall look of it. You cannot wait to actually try it on. When you were about to hang the dress back on the rack so you can remove the summer dress you’re wearing, the door of the changing room suddenly fly open, revealing a snappy-looking Baekhyun.

“What is taking you so long?”

“Shit! You scared me!”

You cursed as you drop the dress of your choice on the floor. You picked it up and gave Baekhyun an annoyed look.

“You’re not supposed to be here, get out!”

Baekhyun locks the door of the fitting room and slid his way in front of you like a swift animal attacking their prey.

“Why are you locking the door?”

“I’ve been waiting for so long!”

“It’s only been a few minutes, Baekhyun. Please get out.”

“Is this the dress you want?”

He ignores what you said and took the dress from your hands. He examines and puts it in front of you like you were a paper doll.

“This is perfect. Great choice, you’re matching the theme of the wedding and my suit.”

Baekhyun hangs the dress on his shoulder and grabs both your shoulders and twirls you around so your back is facing him. He started pulling the thin straps of your teal sundress down both your shoulders and you shook him away a little bit to stop him as you block your arms against your chest protectively.

“What the hell are you doing Baekhyun?!?!?!”

“I’m undressing you.”

He said in a matter-of-fact tone and turn you around once again and started to tug down the zipper of your dress. Before you can really stop him, Baekhyun swiftly tugs your dress down and it pools beneath your feet. Leaving you with only your mismatched underwear. With your arms still holding up against your chest, Baekhyun spins you back face to face with him. His eyes trained on your own, his cheeks slightly blushed.

“Adorable.”

He whispers and his warm breath blew softly on your face, making you want to close your eyes and enjoy the natural sweetness of him. But you fight hard not to give in to your undisclosed desires. You shouldn’t feel this way towards Baekhyun, you’re still not sure if he’s an enemy or an ally.

“Why did you undress me just now?”

“We’re engaged, why does it matter?”

“Are you forgetting that we—”

Baekhyun stopped you mid-sentence when he gives your lips a quick peck and a playful smile danced along his lips when your eyes grew the size of a big button and mouth slightly hanging open with his unexpected attack.

“Don’t ruin the mood, okay.”

“Baekhyun, I—”

“Just wear the damn dress already, Soojin-ah, so I can see you in it.”

Baekhyun pushes the dress to your hand and quickly left you in the middle of the big room to sit on a white and fuzzy loveseat underneath an even fuzzier white fur rug. The way he lazily sat, stretched and rubs his thighs made your skin tingle faintly.

You shook your head to wake yourself from your weird thoughts and the cold air from the air conditioner made you shiver. You urgently remove the dress from the hanger so you can wear it remembering again that you’re just in your underwear.

The dress fits you perfectly, it would look better if you can actually close the zipper behind you, but you obviously can’t reach it.

“Need help?”

Baekhyun offers, with a hint of jest on the way he said it.

“No!”

You protested and tried hard to zip yourself up again, but to no avail. Baekhyun makes his way to you and helped you pull the stupid zipper up anyway. His long and thin lithe finger trail along the skin of your spine as he zips you up, making your stomach to create little critters that make you want to vomit love.

“T—Thanks…”

You silently curse yourself because of your shaky voice. Why are you so nervous anyway, it’s not like you’re in love with him, right? Right?

“You’re welcome. Look at you, you’re so beautiful.”

Baekhyun was looking at your entirety in the mirror in front of you. You can see the genuineness of his word from his eyes. What is he on again this time? What kind of illegal drugs is he taking? What kind of weed is he smoking that he’s not sharing?

“Baekhyun, are you on drugs?”

You suddenly ask.

“What?”

“Are you on drugs?”

You repeated your question.

“No. I’m healthy. My last check-up was two weeks ago. I’m not sick so I’m not taking any medications right now, why?”

Oh wow, he’s so… Pure. And borderline dense with your sarcasm.

“Nevermind, Baekhyun. Forget that I even ask you that.”

You shake your head slightly in disbelief.

“Wait did you actually mean, like, illegal drugs? WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I TAKE DRUGS?”

Baekhyun face sours up and gasps as he put his right palm against the chest of his heart dramatically, he’s legitimately hurt by the realization of your question.

“It’s just… You’re— You’re confusing me. One day you’re an asshole and then the next you’re— you’re playful or sweet and caring and you’re driving me absolutely insane, Byun Baekhyun. I don’t really know what to think of you.”

Baekhyun clears his throat and his visage changes quickly after your little speech.

“What do you want from me then?”

Baekhyun asks seriously.

“I just want that truth, Baekhyun. Why did you agree with this… Arranged Marriage? What are you gaining here? You’re the son of the richest man in South Korea, what more can you want from this, from me?

The happy Baekhyun is back in an instant.

“Now is not the right time for this Soojin-ah okay? Can we just enjoy this for now, please?”

Is he bipolar? You have to ask Yanmei as she’s kind of an expert in this field.

“Okay.”

You silently agreed and Baekhyun flashes you another sunny smile from his lips.

“Change back to your dress, we’re done here. I’ll see you outside.”

~~~

“Wait, you’re really taking me as a date to your cousin’s wedding?”

Yanmei squeaks out in excitement as Chanyeol and Hisako follow her and Jongdae, the two lovebirds (more like fuck buddies), as they walk hand in hand along the fancy and upscale shops of Rodeo Street. Hisako crosses her arms even more against her chest and puffs out an exasperating sigh with annoyance. She cannot believe that her best friends, Yanmei and Soojin are slowly falling for the enemies. Soojin is not as obvious as Yanmei, but she can tell she’s slowly being charmed by Baekhyun. Ugh, such feeble women!

“Of course, who else will I take? You’re the perfect date for me!”

Jongdae replies with the same invisible heart eyes, just as much as Yanmei shows. ‘Oh God,’ Hisako thought.

“Aiyo wei!”

Yanmei tightens her grip on Jongdae’s arm and Jongdae bit his lower lip with too much adoration for the girl beside him. Hisako glances at Chanyeol on her left and he’s scrolling through his phone as he walks. Ugh, hope you don’t trip, she thinks to herself again.

“Oh my gosh is that you, Jongdae?”

A shrill from a girl made the four of them stop on their track. Hisako looks up and saw 2 women with multiple shopping bags from different brands on their arms. One girl glared judgingly at Yanmei before returning her gaze at Jongdae now with a fake smile.

“You said you would call me back, why didn’t you call me back?”

“Oh…”

Yanmei was taken aback a little bit and hesitantly let go of Jongdae, but he stopped her and held her waist tighter.

“I’m sorry, I must’ve forgotten.”

Jongdae confidently laughs as he flashes the girl with a suave smile.

“Hi, Chanyeol.”

The other girl waved shyly at Chanyeol and he just nods his head once and continues scrolling on his phone.

“Well, I heard it’s Minseok Oppa’s wedding next weekend, do you have a date already? You can take me if you want.”

She positively beams as if Jongdae will drop everything for her.

“I’m sorry… What’s your name again?”

“Jinah!”

The girl whines slightly.

“I’m sorry, Jinah! But I already have a date. My girlfriend, Mei-mei!”

Jongdae pulls Yanmei by her waist as if to wake her up from drifting off.

“G—GIRLFRIEND?!?!?! Since when did you have girlfriends?”

Both Jinah and her friend gasps in shock.

“Uhhh… Since 3 weeks ago! Isn’t that right, baby?”

Jongdae nudges Yanmei.

“Oh… Uh… Y—yeah. Three weeks ago, in The Bahamas…”

Yanmei trails off.

“Hey, we were about to go dress shopping. It was nice meeting you again… uh…”

“JINAH!!! IT’S JINAH!!!”

The hysterical girl keeps shouting as the four of you started walking away again.

“Yo, you completely humiliated that girl.”

Chanyeol snorts as he pockets his phone.

“To be honest I don’t even remember where I met her.”

Jongdae shrugs.

“That was mean, Jongdae!”

Yanmei hits Jongdae in the chest lightly.

“Well, she was mean first. She totally saw that we’re together, you weren’t a ghost.”

“Still, that was mean. I could’ve handled it, you know. Woman to woman. I’m not petty though, I know your history.”

Yanmei sticks out her tongue playfully at Jongdae and he smiles sweetly down at her.

“Oh gosh! Enough with this, can we just go already?”

Hisako interrupts when Yanmei and Jongdae were about to display their affection publicly again.

“Oh my God, Hisako you sad granny!”

Yanmei rolls her eyes at her best friend and tugs on Jongdae’s hand to the direction of a boutique that sells formal dresses. Chanyeol chuckles loudly at Hisako when she was left with her jaws on the ground, with Yanmei’s words right in front of the boys.

“What’s so funny?”

Hisako recovers and glares at Chanyeol bitterly.

“Nothing, nothing. Let’s just go, Hisa.”

Chanyeol offers his hand for Hisako to take, but she was now in a foul mood so she just hit his hand with her palm and left Chanyeol standing alone. Chanyeol shrugs his shoulders and catches up to Hisako with a smile on his face. Finally some funny words from Yanmei again, this is Chanyeol favorite when the two best friends bicker.

~~~

The two pairs ended up going inside the boutique of the same store that you and Baekhyun were in. Yanmei opens up the door just as Baekhyun was swiping his black card to pay for your dress.

“Sooj!!!”

Yanmei shrieks and immediately lets go of Jongdae to run up to you.

“What are you doing here?”

You shriek too, along with Yanmei as you two were hugging as if you haven’t seen each other for 10 years already when it’s only been less than an hour.

“Jongdae is taking me to the wedding, so I came here to look for a dress I could buy.”

You both pull away from each other and Yanmei gleams when Jongdae suddenly encircled his arms around her waist.

“She’s my date!”

Jongdae happily announces again to you.

“Waaah that’s great!!! What about Hisa? Who’s taking her?”

“We can be Ménage à trois.”

Jongdae shrugs.

“Uh... No thanks.”

Hisako suddenly enters the shop with Chanyeol tailing her every move. She went around the shop on a different area, to be away from Yanmei.

“What happened?”

“She’s on her period again!”

The exasperated tone of Yanmei’s voice indicates that the two probably bickered again. Oh well, nothing new.

“Why is Chanyeol following her around?”

You ask curiously.

“I don’t know. He looks like a puppy anyway and she smells like ass with her nasty attitude, so I guess it’s just fitting.”

“Bitch, I heard that!”

You heard Hisako shouts out from 3 aisles down. Yanmei just rolls her eyes again and grab Jongdae’s hand and pull him to the nearest couch.

“You sit down and stay here while I look for a dress, okay?”

Jongdae subjects and nod his head with a submissive smile on his lips, exactly like a puppy too. Jongdae, Chanyeol, and Baekhyun were called the Beagles of their group because their personalities are exactly like Beagle puppies. They’re loud, playful and cute to say the least. Not that you think Baekhyun is cute… Well, he’s cute sometimes when he’s not being a total dick to you.

Baekhyun sat next to Jongdae as you were being pulled by Yanmei on the first aisle of cocktail dresses.

“Ahhh, I’m so excited, can you help me choose a dress?”

“What happened to only seducing him for information?”

You whisper to Yanmei and she suddenly flashes you a shy smile.

“Eyyy. He’s not so bad, Jongdae, look at him. He’s so adorable.”

“Are you… You know… Falling for him? Is he finally the first guy you will take seriously?”

Yanmei laughs nervously.

“I don’t know, Sooj. I’m just really excited about the wedding. I know I’m gonna blow up my bank account for a dress here, but I wanna live a little bit, you know. I stopped dating and sleeping around since we graduated college and I’ve been working my ass off so I can help my parents provide for my special needs sister.”

You gave her an assuring smile that you totally understand her situation.

“But they also told you that it’s okay if you don’t help.”

“Yeah, but I still do. They gave up a lot for me too. This is the least I can do for them.”

“Why don’t you take my offer then?”

You offered to give her ¾ of the amount she sends her parents so that she can finally save more money for that dream SPED school she wanted to build in her hometown in China. But she refused, saying she can still make ends meet.

“You know I’ve rejected you a lot of times already, Sooj.”

You dramatically hit your chest as if you were in pain.

“Yeah, and it hurts so much Mei-mei. Your repeated rejection is slowly killing my already black heart.”

Yanmei playfully slaps you on the butt but it made such a noise that Baekhyun and Jongdae actually heard. The two guys look up at you both and Jongdae’s face flushed gravely when he realizes what happened when you were rubbing your ass with the slight pain of Yanmei’s spank.

“Ooh, kinky! I think he likes it.”

Both you and Yanmei snicker silently.

Meanwhile, on the last aisle of the huge boutique, Hisako was pretending to look for dresses even though she won’t even go to the wedding.

“I guess I’ll be bored next weekend…”

Hisako sighs silently as she parades through the aisles and aisles of dresses that are completely more expensive than the whole outfit she’s currently wearing.

“You know, you can go to the wedding as my date…”

Hisako almost cursed out when she suddenly hears Chanyeol spoke out of nowhere.

“Oh my gosh, how long have you been there?”

Hisako clutches her left chest tightly from being surprised.

“I’ve been following you since we got here. Didn’t you know?”

“I—I thought I left you outside.”

“I’ve been following you all along, Hisa.”

Chanyeol beams with his creepily huge grin. It’s kinda cute but she won't admit it.

“Gosh, you scared me for a little bit there.”

“I’m sorry.”

Chanyeol apologizes.

“So, will you be my date for the wedding then?”

“You don’t have to pity me, Chanyeol. I can hang out with Mia next weekend.”

Chanyeol furrows his eyebrows.

“Mia will probably be in Baekkie and Sooj’s entourage.”

Hisako frowns and he’s probably right, she thinks.

“Well… I can go out alone then. Alone time sounds good.”

“But you don’t know Seoul, you might get lost.”

“Uhm there is a thing called ‘The Internet’ and I can use it, Chanyeol. Thanks for the offer though.

“Then I won’t come to Minseok Hyung’s wedding too. I’ll take you around Seoul.”

Chanyeol insists.

“What? That’s crazy. Isn’t he your friend since childhood?”

“Yeh, all nine of us.”

“Wait, there’s nine of you?”

“Yeah!”

“You can’t not go to your Hyung’s wedding, Chanyeol.”

“Well, then you should be my date!”

Hisako sighs in defeat. But nods her head once and Chanyeol grins widely again. Why was he doing this, she wonders but the thought of being left alone at that big and cold mansion made her agree to Chanyeol’s offer.

A/N: As always, feedback, sentiments and other comments are what fuels me. I want to know your reactions❣❣❣

[gaiyofanfiction]

Save Me (5)

Chapter 1: Second time? - Chapter 2: Awake - Chapter 3: First Love - Chapter 4: Mama - Chapter 5: Reflection - Chapter 6: Lie - Chapter 7: Stigma - Chapter 8: Begin - Chapter 9: Taken - Chapter 10: Torture - Chapter 11: The Plan - Chapter 12: The Escape

Reader X Jungkook

Mental Hospital AU

Angst/Thriller/Romance

A/N: We really hope everyone is liking this fanfiction. We haven't gotten many reviews so far, so we're a little nervous about how everyone is feeling about it. Please let us know what you think! There's starting to be more drama filled chapters. Thank you and enjoy! Also, please check out Gaisho’s new threeshot HERE about Minhyuk x Reader. It’s awesome!

Disclaimer: This story is pure fiction. We did take their personalities and match as best we can with illnesses, however we do not claim that the boys from BTS have these mental illnesses! Also, we did as much research as we can on each disorder. We are not meaning to offend anyone who has these illnesses at all. ALSO, WE DO KNOW BTS CHANGED THEIR ENGLISH NAME TO BEYOND THE SCENE BUT WE’RE USING BULLETPROOF BOYSCOUTS CAUSE IT FITS THE STORY BETTER.

Trigger warning: Mentions of mental illness, hospitals, self harm, suicide attempt and abuse. Both Gaisho and I recommend, if you feel like you need to go to the hospital for ANY reason, please don’t be afraid to do so. It can help. If you EVER feel like you need to talk to anyone, vent, or need advice on anything, please do not hesitate to msg us! We’ve been through it all.

Character Descriptions so far: Reader- Chronic Depression, Derealization Disorder and Dissociative Amnesia Jin - Narcissistic Personality Disorder (With homicidal tendencies) Suga- Narcolepsy and Chronic Depression J-Hope- Bipolar II Disorder Chapter 5: Reflection:

       You, J-hope, and Jungkook walk back to the lounge where everyone else should be. You couldn’t help but smile. You’re starting to get to know the boys more and in a way, it’s very comforting. ‘For once in my life...Could I really be happy?’

       As you’re walking, you feel like someone is looking at you. You look to your left and J-hope is walking next to you with his eyes looking forward. You slow your walking a little bit and you see Jungkook trying to get a glimpse at you. Your eyes meet and this time he didn’t look away. His cheeks start to turn pink. Your lips move on your own, “Kookie…” Just then Jungkook turned bright red and he started to walk faster to the lounge. ‘Oh no! Why did I say that again!? Aghhh! Why do I gotta be this way…’

       You arrive with J-hope to the lounge and see that all the boys along with other patients are sitting quietly. You guys grab the next available seat. 

       “What’s going on?” You ask the rest.   

       “Looks like the big man himself wants to make an announcement,” says Rap Monster in a low growl.

       “Good afternoon everyone. As you all know, I am Dr. Seung Ho Choi, the founder of Be Free Behavioral. My goal is to further the science behind mental illnesses by *ahem* experimental means. In the next few weeks, we will be upping evaluations and eventually be splitting you all up into different groups, called controls. Then… That’s when the experimentation will begin,” he says with a creepy smile that makes you all cringe. 

       The preppy nurse interjects, “Well isn’t that just exciting news!”

       “So, this is what you meant… You’re right. He can’t be trusted. But, what do we do?” you whisper to Rap Monster with concern.

       “That’s the issue…” before Rap Monster could continue, the nurse starts talking again.

       “Since the doctor will be commencing his evaluations immediately, we’re a bit short-staffed during what would have been our group sessions,” the nurse visibly frowns. “I know, it makes me sad too! So, we will be playing a movie: Inception. We also have popcorn for you guys as a treat! I will be returning later to check up on you guys!” She skips away.

       “Oh! I love this movie. The human mind is very interesting… The way we think, the way we feel, and even the way we dream. The ones where it’s a dream within a dream… And we’re not really even sure if our current state is reality or dream…” Rap Monster says as he starts to trail off.

        “Ah ha… Yeah. If anything I think I know how that feels better than anyone,” you mumble nervously.

        “Hm? What do you mean?” he says as he tilts his head. 

        “Oh uh, never mind! Hey uhm, do you think we could talk somewhere? Some things are better talked about in private,” you say as you look around to make sure no one else is listening in.

        “Follow me.” You follow Rap Monster out the lounge and down the hall to his room. You notice something that you never noticed before. It looked like he was counting his steps and even was making sure he walks a certain way. 

        Just then, Rap Monster reaches his room. He turns the knob, but turned it a certain number of times before he actually opened it. ‘I wonder if this is part of his condition?’

        “AHHHHH!!” Rap Monster immediately trips over himself and he stumbles into a massive bee line until he manages to grip onto the desk though his legs continue to wobble. 

        “O-oh! Rap Monie, you okay?” you try to help him up.

        “Ah, I’m such a klutz. I just organized this room too… Please forgive me. I need to tidy up before I let you sit,” he scurries around the room picking up things he knocked over.

        “Please, let me help you!” you insisted.

        “No no, you’re my guest and I’m the host,” he says as he continues to clean. As you stand nearby watching, you see that he organizes things in a particular way. By the type of item, by color, by size, and everything in between. He even makes small tweaks to the positioning of the items. ‘He’s quite interesting.’

        “Y/N, please sit,” he motions you to sit at the edge of his bed while he takes a seat at the desk. He almost missed the chair and nearly fell again! ‘This boy…’

        “Ah, you need to be more careful!” you say with worried eyes.

        “Don’t worry about me, hehe, I’m just fine. Juice?” he pulls out two boxes of juice and offers you one.

        “W-what? How’d you sneak these in here?” you take the juice box and start drinking.

        “My little secret. You can’t be a leader and not have some tricks up your sleeve,” he tries to sip from the juice box all sly, but the straw missed his mouth about five times. You giggle.

        “I uh, I was wondering…” you stop because you don’t want to offend the leader by your question.

        “You were wondering what got me in here, don’t you?” he puts down his juice box.

        “Ah, y-yes, but if you don’t want to tell me, I understand...I just wanted to get to know you a little better is all,” you say while picking at the juice box.

        “Of course. Well, I’m sure you’ve noticed my uh, habits. The way I carry myself and how I do things. It’s… Different from others,” his face all of a sudden got more serious.

        “W-what? Noooo I -” he raises his hand to stop you.

        “Y/N, it’s okay. It’s hard not to notice. You see, I wasn’t always this way…”

        “You weren’t always clumsy?” you instantly cover your mouth. ‘Why do you have to be such a smart ass sometimes!?’

        “Hahaha! Good one, Y/N! No, no, I wasn’t always so… Particular about things. Being the leader means I need to take care of my group and the boys individually. That’s a big responsibility and sometimes I can’t handle the stress. Well, it caused me to develop habits that I can’t control. Thus, my obsessive compulsive disorder. The fact I’m super clumsy just makes it all the more worse,” he starts to rub the back of his head. “I uhm, I got so carried away with my OCD at one point that the boys found me in my room walking in circles and just spewing out random words, numbers, and nonsense… Having a complete mental breakdown was definitely not a good look as a leader.” Rap Monster sighs before he continues.

        “I know, every life’s a movie. We got different stars and stories, we got different nights and mornings, our scenarios ain’t just boring. All of the members, they have different dreams and aspirations. It is my job to help them get there. I care so much about them that, it drives me insane… Don’t get me wrong, I would die for each one of them. But you know, sometimes I really really hate myself. Heh, too be honest, quite often, I really hate myself. And do you know what I do? I just stand there with the familiar darkness,” Rap Monster starts to hit his head with a tight fist.

        You quickly get up to stop him and hold him close, “I’m so sorry… You carry such a big role on your shoulders. But, you need to remember how important you are to others. You’re important to me too, you know?” you bring his head towards your chest to rest on and you feel him start to relax.

        “It’s just that… I want the world for my boys. But, the world is just another name for despair. How am I supposed to give them everything when the world is so cruel? I just… I am all of my joy and anxiety. It repeats everyday, the love and hate directed to me. And everyone else knows where they’re supposed to be, but only I walk without purpose. I wish I could love myself. I wish I could love myself. I wish i could -”

        “Stop! Please, stop…” you hold him tight. “Do you really believe everyone finds their purpose in life? Many people die before ever finding what their purpose is, and that’s okay. But, you need to love yourself just as much as your boys love you. I see the way they look at you and respect you. I think without you… Things wouldn’t be the same. Maybe that’s your purpose. Being the rock for them, their cheerleader, their friend, their leader. All of those things,” you smile as you start to shed tears. 

        “Y/N, I’m sorry to have made you cry. But, thank you… Your words were truly kind. I feel… I feel I understand now. Now is not the time to give up and feel weak. If anything, they need me more than ever.”

        Just then you hear the door creak open and you look to see who it is. ‘N-no… It’s Jungkook!’ He sees you holding Rap Monster still. You step back and try to explain, “w-wait! Jungkook!” it didn’t work. He immediately ran off. ‘Great… Now there’s definitely no chance for me’

        You fall to your knees in defeat and mumble to yourself, “ugh, why am I so stupid.”

        Rap Monster comes up behind you and puts a hand on your shoulder. “I bet you are also wondering how to approach our maknae, huh?”

        “Am I that obvious?” you hide your face.

        “Nahhhh… Maybe,” he sticks a tongue out at you. “Well, being the golden maknae that he is, he is pretty shy and individualistic. His motto is ‘living without passion is like being dead’. With that said, I’ll leave it up to you,” he starts to exit his room.

        “...Wait, hold up. That wasn’t any advice at all!” you start to run after him, but he turns around abruptly making you stop dead in your tracks.

        He pokes your forehead, “just be yourself. He is just as random, funny, and rebellious as you are. In fact I bet he would have loved your comment earlier about me being clumsy. He definitely would have laughed.”

        “Rebellious? What makes you think that I am?” you nudge him.

        “Don’t you also want to get out of here?” he nudges back.

        You both smile in mutual agreement. Both of you walk back to the lounge and sneak back into the seats you were previously in. Just in time too. The nurse walks back in to call out a name for an evaluation.

        “Park, Jimin. Please follow me,” she says in a much serious voice. It’s definitely not what you’re used to. Usually she’s a lot perkier.

        “Be strong, don’t let them get to you,” Rap Monster says before Jimin exits the lounge. 

        You and the rest of the boys feared for Jimin. “So uh, that plan of yours…” you whisper to Rap Monster.

        He nods. “It starts now.”