#also i feel like my favorite mutuals got tired of me lmao

[wickjump]

Not exactly hurt comfort but I am enjoying the idea that every time Cross reveals something about his past/childhood it slowly but surely makes the team angry. Like he happens to share a "funny story" or mention how he was treated and one by one the gang is horrified to the point where if xgaster actually showed up in the same au as them they would all be gunning for him immediately.

Also the stars showing up during this fight and like Dream: Nightmare stop this!! What are you doing to- Nightmare: (goops over and whispers something in Dream's ear) Dream: WHAT?? No fuck that (starts aiming his arrows at xgaster)

IVE SPOKEN ABOUT THIS SO MANY TIMES WITH FRIENDS/MUTUALS I AGREE SO MYCH HE HAS SO MANY TRAUMATIZING CHILDHOOD STORIES HE INTERNALLY NORMALIZED GOD. HE DOESNT REALIZE HOW BAD IT WAS AND THE REACTIONS HE GETS ARE UNNERVING. THANK YOU FOR THIS AND OTHER CROSS RELATED ASKS YOURE SO GOOD WITH THEM THEYRE MY FAVORITE

ok ya this is just plain whump warning for lotsa child abuse including physical. like beating the shit out of an 8 year old physical. also I’m so tired right now

chances are that’s not even the worst of it because you know his seven year old ass was told ‘don’t tell anyone about me beating you to near death’ and he still sticks to that. but he speaks about abuse he doesn’t even grasp counts as abuse.

withholding food. sleeping in the yard. eating food on the floor while the others sat at the dinner table as punishment (or to eat out of a dog bowl on the ground i had to do that once lol). as a kid still scared of the dark he was locked in dark rooms until he got over his fear (he’s still scared to this day but he won’t seek help because he doesn’t want to be punished again). cross touched something he wasn’t supposed to? put your hand on the burning hot stove for however many seconds that item was worth in G (maybe divided by 5/10), or until he cried.

cruel and unusual punishments were xgaster’s forte but he tells them like funny stories to the horror of literally everyone around him.

cross is not coping well with figuring out that no that’s not normal and no that’s fucked up. most of his scars are probably from xgaster (excluding the red one on his face obv). and when he delves into the traditional abuse it gets worse somehow?? anyway xgaster is on THE multiversal hitlist. star sanses and bad sanses all want his head on a wall. even ink because ink didn’t know about the abuse because xgaster never told him for obvious reasons and it’s not like cross was willing to share.

i think that once he starts talking about the abuse he can’t stop (same) and he’s just. slowly crying and eventually hyperventilating and oh he’s been holding onto that for SO long. and then he hates that he told people because he wasn’t supposed to and is scared that they’ll see him less or punish him for some reason or hate him now, but he isn’t expecting to be comforted after? wtf? he doesn’t grasp that saying ‘yeah i got in trouble at school so my dad beat me until i lost two of my baby teeth and got a temporary crack in my skull’ normally results in being hugged or something. like dude you were 8 wtf. and he’s so scared but he just wants to feel safe AUGH HE MAKES MY HEART HURT. like dude, he almost beat papyrus at a time he was so young he had to use a step-stool to reach the sink to brush his teeth :( dude…

anyway ya cross is me fr (the burning hand stove happened once/twice to me actually idk i was like 5 lol. my grandfather is not the best man) and he deserves to go through hell on earth and be tortured in his childhood i think. oh and experience comfort or whatever after idk. kross maybe because their dynamic is ‘my childhood was ruined’ x ‘my adulthood was ruined’ and i think that’s sweet. or mtt + cross poly with nightmare as the outlier wondering why they’re so affectionate all of a sudden (he’s aroace…)

BUT THATS SELF INDULGENT LMAO what really matters is how much we torture the poor lad that is cross 🥰

also make him trans because abuse isn’t enough he needs extreme dysphoria all of the time. xgaster isn’t transphobic btw this is independent from everything else

[justsomefluff]

hello! are requests open? if yes can i request ateez reaction to you having dimples, please? I love your writing!

Dimples are the cutest you lucky duck! <3

Trigger Warning: use of term "love-handle"

Hongjoong:

your smile is his favorite of all your features

especially when he knows that he's the reason for it

and youre dimples just seal the deal

loves to leave little kisses on your dimples whenever they appear

like if youre watching a movie and theres a scene that upsets you

your dimples will appear when you purse your lips

and he's just gotta kiss em

also takes uber artsy photos of them

like if youre sleeping, he'll get his camera out

lowkey creepy lmao

but he will get really close to take a picture of like, the corner of your mouth and snap a picture the second a dimple appears

and they actually turn out really well and he gets them printed

carries one with him on tour

Seonghwa:

when he holds your face

hold on, give me a minute before I cry

he uses your dimples to put his thumbs in

calls them love handles

but on your face

because he can hold you so easy and comfortably

even if he can't see them because your face is relaxed

he will just put his thumbs there and wait

it's impossible not to smile when he does it

and if you're having a rough day and not in the mood to smile

you at least humor him and tense your cheeks so your dimples appear

I'm crying anyway don't touch me

Yunho:

okay I know he doesn't really have dimples

but when he smiles his cheeks fluff out and theres like

a place where his smile lines will form one day? when he gets wrinklies?

and he'll put your hands on his smile line thingies

and then he'll poke your dimples

and say that your dimples would fit in his smile lines

and his smile lines would spoon your dimples lmao

cute but lowkey crack

bc wtf is he talking about

he will proceed to launch into a rant about how every part of you guys fit together so naturally and perfect

gets cheesy with it really fast lol

Yeosang:

the babygirl-est of the babygirls

he has lil soft baby dimples yk?

like you really need to pay attention to see them

and he doesn't really care about his own anyway to be honest

but if you say you like his then he will drag you into a mutual obsession with each other's dimples

he starts drawing all his hehetmons with lil dimples omg

will draw smiley faces with dimples on sticky notes to leave on your stuff or around your apartment

will have his makeup artists highlight that feature of his

and if you wear makeup he'll ask you to do the same

enjoys when you point out his dimples in his fancams

San:

okay this boy got some DIMPS

if he notices that you have them too he's endlessly endeared

will do more subtle things to show his appreciation for them instead of outright telling you he loves them on you

will kiss them... but then also press kisses to the rest of your face

will trace them with his fingers... but then brush some hair behind your ear

not as subtle as he thinks though

when he's drunk, or so tired that he feels drunk, he will definitely tell you

like "you know my favorite part about your face"

excuse me, wtf

"your dimples"

oh

Mingi:

we all know he don't be wearin' his GLASSES

so literally won't notice you have dimples until like... week 3 of dating you

but when he does notice?

OMG why didn't you tell him sooner

rages on about how he's missing all the beauty in the world

can't believe he never noticed

becomes a lil playful argument about why he either needs to wear his glasses, or invest in some contacts

he refuses because he'd love you even if he couldn't see at all

wait... did you just say you love me?

Wooyoung:

listen

will bite you.

He will, I swear

notices a dimple one day and the cuteness aggression is just too overwhelming

puts his teeth on your cheek and sees if his teeth fall into your dimple oh so perfectly

and they do

will make it a little game

will tell you to stop smiling and then gently put his teeth on your cheek and tell you to smile again

just to see if he can guess where your dimple shows

definitely an activity he gets a little overzealous about when he's drunk lmao

Jongho:

gentle sweet boy

will never tell you that he loves your dimples while you're paying attention nono

closeted soft boy

will trace them and kiss them while you're sleeping though

or at least while he thinks you're sleeping mwahaha

but you'll never tell him you know he does that because you never want him to stop

you may also notice that his lockscreen is always a photo where your dimples are extremely obvious

but please don't tease him he'll cry

[bistaxx]

JINX !! tell me why you ship Quackity x Luzu and why you dont ship Quackity x Wilbur I need to know the Lore

Hiiiiiiiii Vin! oh gosh- I'll try to condense this as much as I can OKAY SO...

yeah I don't vibe with tntduo 😭- I already talked about q!tnt so I'll just explain about c!tnt instead:

Why don’t you ship it: The Fandom. Listen I hate saying it but it really is 90% of the reason why- I always try not to let annoying fandom stuff sour my opinions but like... MAN- Because like I actually did really use to enjoy /r tntduo fuck man I was shipping it back in October 17th 2020 after the moment in the button room and especially after the famous Niki's birthday stream like- idk I just liked the dynamic and the chemistry it was fun! I was even still shipping it when I first started getting really into the c!fiances and was hyped when Wilbur and Quackity met up again... but then. IDK- something about the fandom take on their dynamic just didn't click with me it didn't feel like the same characters I enjoyed ESPECIALLY IN REGARDS TO THE WAY C!QUACKITY WOULD GET TREATED- like GIRL- Quackity would not cave and be visibly annoyed or flustered by the first jab Wilbur makes hello-??? or the fanart that would portray Wil as like completely disregarding Q's personal space as this 'teehee funny flirty' thing like I HATED that shit- I also just hated how when I tried to look up c!fiances content I had to filter like 5 million tags to actually find what I was looking for because there'd be so many c!tnt fics that had the fiances tagged in them and 50% of the time it was just so Quackity could break-up with them for Wilbur 😭 I also just like got sick of seeing it everywhere when I wanted to find c!Q content it felt like it was inescapable and that people only cared for my favorite character solely to mischaracterize him in a ship I was quickly growing tired of... yeha I think that sums it up-

What would have made you like it? Um.. All of the above not happening LMAO-

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it? Like I said earlier I DID really like it and I have tnt shipping mutuals who do the dynamic justice even if I got super burnt out on it (shoutout to Thes)

... So anyway uh- SO LUCKITY-

(this will be a lot shorter despite how much I have to say about Luckity I'm just really tired rn SORRY 😭)

This will be about k!Luckity specifically cuz I rly don;t have much of anything to say about q!Luckity outside of finding Arinckity cute

What made you ship it? Started for the fluff and stayed for the toxic ship 😈- GOD Quackity and Luzu fucking outdid themselves with Luckity in Karmaland V like dude it's just so good- like looking back on it the writing was already on the walls that they were so doomed from the very start- like they somehow manage to be both "it's tragic because it didn't have to end this way" and "it's tragic because it was always gonna end this way." if that makes sense. But god at the start it was just so easy to overlook the blaring the red flags because they'd give us just enough hope that it'd end well only for the rug to get pulled during the elections and the whole dynamic get's flopped on it's head but now instead of cute fluff or funny flirting it's this Angry passion and resentment- from start to end they were devoted to each other whether in hatred or in love. The build-up and payoff were both just amazing even if I felt miffed about the ending of the arc at first I've since come to love it because really it's just the cherry on top of their tragedy leaving the possibility they could just end up doing it all over again yeah <3 They were The Moment yeah!

What are your favorite things about the ship? A lot of things but like- I love that they're sun and moon coded <33333 I remember associating them with sun/moon imagery before they took those iconic photos with the sun and moon and like I was so hyped when that happened <3 my toxic sun/moon boys yeah <3

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? Not really no- but HEY check out this web weave I made about Luckity that I'm still super proud of and debate remaking one day: X :3

[basicallyjaywalker]

For the ask game >:3 ✂️❤️

🎨 I know you have OC’s but I know embarrassingly little for being a mutual this long. Hand them over rook :)

Edit: I forgot to say hi 😭 sorry I saw you mentioned OCs and literally just. mind blank got the zoomies started stimming forgot my manners. Anyways

Hello Oli :DDD

One thing I would change: I mean. I would rewrite a lot of the series but mainly I would wanna give Nya a more prominent and starring role early on. Let her have more Samurai X moments and quit putting her on the sidelines while the boys do things!!

Favorite ship? Canonically Pixane ngl. I love Jaya but Pixane is soulmate coded for me I break Jaya up at the drop of a hat for funsies I feel bad breaking up Pixane.

Do I have OCs? You're goddamn right I do I have wayyyyyy too many. I'm working on character sheets for the main ones now but until those are uploaded have a taste!

Nataly Chumsworth: Master of Love, half Serpentine, menace to society. If the name did not clue you in she's Pythor's daughter and they have. A relationship.

Roxie Andrews: Master of Peace, local stressed out mom friend, former student at Marty Oppenheimer's! Old friend of Cole's and someone i imagine Nya being besties with.

Jasmine Bucket/Julien: Master of Nature (secondary: Ice), engineer at Borg Industries, made before Bolobo I swear. Zane's half sister but neither has any clue about that yet

Jackie Fei: Master of Magic (I have a whole system set up for this), chronically tired and depressed but gets to have a glow-up, chaotic good incarnate. My favoritest little blorbo ngl

Hannah Stone: Master of Music (different from sound and again swear she was pre-S4), punk rock girl, Chen's former... student is not the right term. Embodiment of that one audio: "they got their weapon, I got cheated out of my childhood)

Kyle Stone: not an elemental master but a former member of Chen's cult kinda (born into it), instead of masking his trauma with anger like Hannah he masks it with bubbliness, chronic overprotective disease. He and Hannah aren't blood related but they're also the closest thing to family each other has

Master Twyla: Master of Light, the teacher of these fucking kids, trying her best to keep the memory of the former EMs alive. Bops her on the head this bad girl can fit soooooo much trauma she's trying to overcome in her, goddamn

Ivy Crest: Master of Wind except not fully until S5 (thanks Morro), Morro's bio daughter and Ronin's adopted daughter (bet you can't guess who she prefers), expert in forgery and shit at mechanics. She and Nya form a close bond in S5 and Nya continues to try and teach her mechanical stuff (it does not work)

Luna McCallister/Garmadon: Master of Dreams, long lost Garmadon daughter who?, big fucking nerd. I have no idea when she and Lloyd realize their related but it makes their interactions at the comic store beforehand a lot funnier (for reference: she is about 2 years older than him)

Jonathan Borg: heir to Borg Industries, curious about the supernatural elements of Ninjago, knows about something he probably shouldn't. His place is not fully figured out yet but I feel like he's gonna start wanting to prove more useful after S7 to mixed results, esp bc his sister is way cooler than him

Willow Whispernight: yeah check back later chief I am reworking her ENTIRE lore lmao. Currently also connected with nature in some way and Jasmine's step-sister

Ahahaha that isn't even all of them. it's been over a decade I am soooo normal. I do not have *checks notes* approximately 20 OCs, named and unnamed, with various places in stories and development

[llycaons]

tagged by @aaitwo - Nine People I'd Like to Know Better. thanks seb!!

last song: the screamo song about my co-worker from the band that he plays the triangle for. I shan't link it for fear of doxxing but it's got the most insane lyrics. mutuals can dm me. he's also on youtube??? man is an enigma

fave colours: I love that it specifies multiple colors like yes I do have multiple favorite colors! lavender and mint green, sage green, forest green, cobalt blue, powder blue, blush pink, but my most enduring favorite has been a light teal. or dark teal. and silver! really it's all about the color combos

currently watching: warrior!!!! I like it

currently reading: tyrant baru. theoretically. it's a real dense book, folks

sweet/savory/spicy: I love sweet but it's easy to get sick of it but I will never get tired of savory n e v e r

relationship status: lmao

current obsession: well I was going to say none but I AM getting slightly obsessive about finding furniture pieces for my hypothetical apartment. guys it's going to look like a forest!!!

last thing googled: moomin home goods...I'm looking for something with a bit of their charm. did not find anything! they have mostly mugs

currently working on: *old woman voice* my embroidery project. I haven't looked at it in weeks so I honestly have no idea what I was doing

tagging @draftdodgeraziraphale @ankhisms @ghostcradle @monky @slitherbite @amused-shiba @dragonji @lesbianstorm @torsamors and everyone else who wants to! feel free to say I tagged you

[ddeongies]

(Is it softer? The skin of Yeji’s palm was so soft on her cheek, the rest of her must be soft too).

- YES SOFT YABS SOFT EVERYTHING U GET ME

Going straight from having worryingly horny thoughts about Hwang Yeji to her favorite professor all but begging her to join her seminar wasn’t what she’d expected of her day when she rolled out of bed that morning.

- damn the universe is siding with ryujin that day huh

“Yeah. Besides, I haven’t really been looking for anything serious since,” she offers, eyes glued to Yeji’s face. 

- that meme where it's like "WE'RE SO BACK" 📈 "it's over" 📉 "WE'RE BACK" 📈 yeah that's literally me bc how do u mess this up

“C’mere.” Her voice is low.

- holy shit i am on my knees.

“I’d really like to kiss you right now.”

- FUCKING FINALLY 😭😭😭😭😭😭🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

“Wait,” she gasps, “I can’t.”

- again that 📉📈📉📈 meme 😓

gosh the slowburn is burning!!!!! and they are burning me alive. it's nice to see how rj is INTO yj in her pov. like yes girl idk how u managed to not thirst /this openly/ (at least in her mind) over yeji. and that she deliberately planned the movie night as well with a motive in mind. they're both so down, your honor!!! i can say they both have a different approach in achieving their goals. like yeji wants to take it slow, calculating things, and that might be bc she got a headstart in realizing the depth of her attraction for ryujin. and ryujin might realized her attraction for yeji at a later time but once she did, she's kinda straightforward with it.

i might say this every chapter but how do i get myself a hwang yeji. seriously. i will never get tired of how perfect but humanly she is.

the rollercoaster ride this chapter put me through. miscommunication 📉 oh wow they cleared that up so fast 📈 goddamn it ryujin why would u say that now yeji might think you're only in it for casual 📉 OH BUT YES KISS SO HOT 📈 oh no they stopped i hope yeji doesn't think ryujin thinks it was a mistake 📉

oh well it was worth the ride and i will eat up every chapter. what i love the most about ur writing is the right balance between dialogue and introspection as well as crafting the setting so that i'm taken along for the college life again. i'm excited for the winter break and the second semester (most especially that karaoke scene bc they put it again in the itzzz behinds again) have a great weekend ahead!!! happy ryeji day 🥳 [also is it professor son chaeyoung or son seungwan] - 🌼

YES SOFT YEJI ALWAYS SHE IS SO SOFT I GET U AND U GET ME 🙌🏽

you know what they say.... ryujin always wins

that meme is the best description of this chapter LMAO like ryu please..... please you were so close she wants you so bad and you want her so bad??? please?

low voice yeji 🧎🏽🧎🏽🧎🏽

fucking finally indeed LMAO just took 40k!!

ryeji really said 📉📈📉📈

yes i'd say the feelings are incredibly mutual at this point LOL. our girl yeji has been simping hard since chapter 1, but ryu is finally meeting her right where she is it just took a lil bit :P

they def go about it differently! (and similarly in a way, they both seem to think making a plan is the best way to get with someone lol) but yeah i think the ways they're approaching it are impacted both by how they are as people and by what they assume the other wants when maybe they should try meeting in the middle! idk!

i know i'm writing her, but i'm seriously obsessed with nmau yeji... she's just a good egg i love her

would you believe me if i said the next couple of chapters are kinda 📈📈📈??

aaah thank you!!! i really actively try to strike that balance between dialogue, setting, action, and introspection! i read through and edit my chapters like 10+ times and i'm always adding and tweaking and trying to make it all nice and smooth so yay glad it's working :) honestly writing this has been very fun and nostalgic! i'm basing SoCo off of my time at a small liberal arts college if that wasn't very clear, and it's honestly been a blast writing about that! (you don't know how excited i am to write that karaoke scene

[thegoodceai]

afddighadfi <3333 sending all the hearts <33, sry for the late reply I had a Long Time at work but I had read your message and was also liek *twirling hair, kicking feet* trying to think of a fitting response !

Letsgo!! IF is soo good, I need to get more into IF if anything. Fallen Hero is Top Tier. Got a top three IF? And Nice! U a player or dming for them?

Aww! I'd love to know any info about her! Plz feel free to yell at me about her. Wuts her (current) name, design?, sign, The Demons (the story ur putting her through lol).

Bro! I've relatively done the same, I had waited so long to play Retri, wut ending did u get 👀👀👀. Ortega is just 😩😩😩

I hadn't heard of her nor the song, but checking it out I can definitely see why it's been on repeat <333.

We love little sharp bbies <3. Do u have a preference for color? Got a name picked out already lol?

Fair Enough, least they chase u with a stake. The Aesthetic and Seduction are unmatched I will give em that ;p. Oh! I know Of the series, but next to nothing what its about, wuts it about/what drew you into it? ((I know I could Google it, butt any excuse to get you to chat/yell more <3))

Thank you for replying to all my random questions lol. Been following for a long time, and in my mind ur already a Friend :))))

<3333 sending all the good vibes, i know we've been mutuals for a while and truly the one reaction i have every time we interact is Friend!!!!!

i am DMing for my friends, it was the only way to get them to play. i started out with only 2 players, just for some light fun, but i ended up with 5 now and a whole homebrew campaign that they can play around in and so far they do seem to be enjoying being chaotic gremlins with the side of Mystery Plot i threw at them

IF is amazing, i love the versatility of the format. idk if i could pick a true top 3, but for ones in progress ones i keep going back and replaying there's A Tale of Crowns (a favorite and one of the first ones i played, like 2 years ago when it was first released), Project Hadea, and Attolo. i love all of them dearly and cannot wait to see how they end up. for finished ones, i loveeeee Way Walkers University (i feel like it's so underrated, but i really like the style it is written in and how well developed the world of it is, there just so much and the variations you can play are huge), The Passenger (Roach my beloved), and i really liked I, The Forgotten One (been following this one before it was published, and it's truly not everyones' cup, but i found it compelling)

the story i'm working on is kind of fantasy adventure, heavily based on mythology and folklore (specifically romanian one), and i am planning to like, make it public at some point this year (still ironing and detailing some stuff, but the bones are solid, it's been rooting around in my brain for A While). the main cast are all variations of very very old ocs i have (originally for another story sort of in the same vein, but i'd like to think i grew a bit as a writer and they're more put together now, as well as the story itself). so imma hold on to the details about this whole thing for now but aaah thank u for being interested in it <3333

aah first ending i got was accident as sidestep, stayed as sidestep, and got the whole old gang involved in breaking them out of the hospital. i've been playing sidestep as a reluctant villain that's gunning for justice/exposing what the Powers That Be are actually up to (anarchist villain baby), all while being friendly with the Rangers and ended up keeping the cover so none of them know about the villain sidegig lmao. been trying to psych myself to play a fully evil sidestep but. it's hard. and i loooove playing reluctant and tired mcs that are done with everything but ultimately will do the right thing at any cost (tragic heroes my beloved)

16 year old me would have given anything to have a black cat named either Loki or Thanatos and you know what? they were right. but in reality i will probably just end up adopting a bunch of stray animals and naming them like. normal human names. or food names (i am very fond of the name Clementine, but it is kind of a mouthful)

lmao i remember next to nothing of the series, i've read it forever ago (i was like, maybe 13?? when i got the first book). all i remember was that i liked Sookie very much at the time. it was i think the first like, adult book series i read and it was fascinating to my young brain, seeing a fully developed female main character being badass and resourceful and kinda doing her own thing (the series is from her perspective, so that was also kind of novel at the time, after reading a lot of like, classical literature and school stuff). idk if i'd recommend it now, but it was definitely formative for me. it's also the series that got me into like, modern fantasy (both reading and writing it)

[minnichan]

Got tagged by @greighish​ again :D

15 questions for 15 mutuals:

are you named after anyone? - nope but apparently all the younger kids on the maternal side of the family got named after me? we don’t really do generational names in vietnamese I think (my older cousins all have different names), but all the younger kids’ names start the same as mine.

when was the last time you cried? - probably during my rewatch of “lighting up the stars”? but actual cry was in january after 25h travel to vietnam and then all the stress got to me and I was annoyed at my family.

do you have any kids? - no, and I don’t want any. I’m slowly starting to look around for a hysterectomy now that I’m turning 30 soon and hopefully doctors are more open to doing that procedure on 30+ years old patients.

do you use sarcasm a lot? - rarely. my brain is too slow to come up with sarcasm.

what sports do you/have you played? - currently none. I tried some but never stuck with anything. swimming, yoga, kung fu, iaido, ice skating... I’m too tired after work to commit to any sports. I do want to look into martial arts in the future, most likely vovinam. the most I do now is playing just dance on the switch once every few weeks. also I want a VR gaming set for beat saber.

what’s the first thing you notice about people? - idk I don’t really pay attention to people lmao. wish I wouldn’t notice the smell of others, I feel like my nose is too sensitive.

eye color? - brown

scary movies or happy endings? - HE! I don’t really like to watch scary stuff.

any special talents? - none in particular I think?

where were you born? - Berlin

any hobbies? - karaoke, reading, translation (in theory, haven’t done that in a while...)

do you have any pets? - no, never wanted any. I can’t even take care of myself properly. also all the fur and poop? nah.

how tall are you? - 152 cm (4′11″).

favorite subject in school? - english because it was easy.

dream job? - I do not dream of labour. as a kid I wanted to be a scientist but seeing all of them at work just writing project and grant proposals, research papers, etc. I’m glad I didn’t go in that direction. working as a lab technician is enough, though I do hate working with chemicals... another childhood dream was editor but I don’t think reading for work would be fun. also I’m not good with analysing text. if we ever get unconditional basic income I’d be ok with any job as long as I don’t have to work more than 15h per week and I don’t have to get dirty.

Gonna tag a few folks this time, but no pressure! And anyone else feel free to do it too! @miss-ingno​ @asoftspotforangels​ @rizababe​ @mindfogger​ @the-marron​

Template below:

15 questions for 15 mutuals:

are you named after anyone?

when was the last time you cried?

do you have any kids?

do you use sarcasm a lot?

what sports do you/have you played?

what’s the first thing you notice about people?

eye color?

scary movies or happy endings?

any special talents?

where were you born?

any hobbies?

do you have any pets?

how tall are you?

favorite subject in school?

dream job?

[gggoldfinch]

the first time I wrote this my laptop crashed halfway through and deleted everything and I started sobbing. here we go again, part 2, I'll try not to have a fucking stroke:

(Also not to be weird or unkind but pls don’t read/like/reply to this if you’re not a follower or mutual of mine. I trust my regulars and mutuals, some y’all that blow in on the wind scare me …)

here’s a little personal ramble about me discovering(?) my neurodivergency (with a sprinkle of childhood trauma) (I lied it’s not a sprinkle it’s a backhoe full) because I just had a fucking MASSIVE epiphany while sitting here doing nothing. Feel free to read idc, I just need somewhere to put this since I don’t have a shrink, and maybe some y'all will relate, considering we’re all a bit touched in the head here. This is a blog and I’m finally treating it like one lmao

a little context: I had somewhat severe epilepsy from age 4-5 that seemingly had no cause, and went away on its own. yay. 

so, on to the topic at hand. My family had numerous stories about how I used to get seriously SERIOUSLY overwhelmed/ overstimulated as a child— so much so that on one particular occasion I hid in a basket of toys in my bedroom during my own birthday party until my mom had to make everyone leave early. Needless to say I was labelled “a handful.” My parents always blamed these outbursts of overstimulation in social settings on my epilepsy (even though this behavior continued after my epilepsy cured itself), saying that it made me tired, irritable, easily overwhelmed, etc. But now as an adult, knowing there is a fairly decent likelihood that I have not only adhd but autism too, this makes much more sense. Side note: my parents refuse to believe their child could be neurodivergent (among many other bigoted things their child could not be)—they shoot me down whenever I propose the idea, calling me silly—so it’s likely that bringing me to a specialist never crossed their minds, considering they didn’t want to consider it and I didn’t portray the “traditional symptoms” of neurodivergency that were known about in the early 2000s. 

all this being said, yes, I just had that epiphany while sitting here on my couch and was like. oh. damn, that kinda makes sense now, looking back through a different lens. It’s always been here, apart of me. It’s always been with me. And realizing this kinda makes me a little sad. I have all the resources at my fingertips now as an adult to learn about all the ways my behavior has been misinterpreted throughout my life. All the times when I refused to let my mom brush/touch/style my hair, when I'd only eat the same favorite foods, why I was SO obsessed with pacifiers, why I would lash out and get overwhelmed and torment everyone around me. I understand why now, and it strangely makes me feel so sad and alone.

I feel like I’m always mourning my childhood and the loss of it (crying rn lol, a tear fell in my mouth). I was friendless and bullied for 9 whole years of my life, throughout my entire elementary and middle education. My grandparents, who were my best friends, died 15 months apart and I never got proper closure, and am still in mourning over a decade later. I was diagnosed with several life changing diseases when I was just a poor dumb kid and it virtually stripped my teenage years to their bare bones. I had good times, I did, but you don’t often remember the good times, do you. I remember feeling alone, overwhelmed, and so so so different for so many years of my life, and not understanding why. I really do think my childhood ended when my grandparents died when I was 10, because after that ushered in the mental and physical health problems, and still, no comfort in peers until my late teens. Even when I finally had friends in high school (not the same friends from high school that I've talked about here, mind you), they would tease me; laugh when I’d slip up verbally, or when I was slow on the uptake, even if I asked them to stop. I’d feel overwhelmed and isolated, but I'd suck it up because this is what friends do, despite this being exactly what my merciless “friend” bullies did in middle school. 

Now I realize that I always had the right to be overwhelmed and angry that no one understood why— my symptoms of neurodivergy came in a “gifted kid” box, with hyperfixations and poor social skills abound. Now Ive got gifted kid burnout and explanations for my younger self. I understand why I sometimes felt like I needed to peel off my skin if I felt overwhelmed (still do lol), why kids didn’t want to be friends with me and thought I was weird, why I was so susceptible to teasing and why I couldn't stand up for myself, why I always pretended to fit in even though I and everyone else knew I didn’t. 

I think I deserve to grow more now, knowing all this. I know I’ve done and said a lot of stupid shit I'm not proud of, and I know it may be a copout to blame it on not being entirely sure how to navigate social situations or on kids being mean little bastards, but I sincerely think I've grown as a human just by realizing it hasn’t all been my fault like I've told myself for so long. I didn’t drive people away as a kid, I couldn’t help it if I acted out when I was overwhelmed or overstimulated or humiliated— I didn’t want to put my mom through hell when she too was young and overwhelmed with having her first kid. But that’s all behind me, and I think that knowing now where it likely all stems from, I should these experiences to get to know myself a bit more, and take care of myself. Forgive myself. 

okay now that I've cleared my sinuses with that hearty sob sesh... 🤷🏻‍♀️

[sheisbeautyweareworldass]

.

[hvstias]

Heeyy Am I too late for Send me a ship and a number and I’ll tell you thing?

Can you make the 3, 8, 13 and 45 for SoViper? Pleeeease? *puppy eyes*

also for “soviper, 20 and 21? 👀” from @brewing-radianite, no beta read we die like cypher but here's some soviper food <3<3

how do they fall asleep? Wake up? Any daily rituals?

sova has a pretty strict sleeping schedule which he tries to follow but unfortunately our golden boy's life motto is “rest when the work is done” and viper probably has a some kind of insomnia so they either go nuts at 4 am, working on something or one of them convinces the other to go to sleep w them. It's usually Sova who convinces her to sleep, but Viper also knows how he tires himself out (that voicemail). sometimes they sleep in their separate rooms to not draw any attention from other agents, but occasionally sleeping together in one of their rooms. (bonus hc, viper would rather die than admitting it but sleeping with sova helps her sleep without having any nightmares)

it's canon that viper wakes up at 5 am and sova is an insufferable morning person in my mind so they probably wake up pretty early, viper usually wakes up before the alarm goes off but cannot get out of the bed because this blond mf has a strong grip and cuddles like a koala in his sleep

do they share any interests or hobbies?

they share the same taste in movies so watching a movie is a general thing for them, sova teaches her russian in their free time and lemme say it; nerds. sova is a hunter who literally hunts people down, he's a pretty strategical person and i'm pretty sure this boi is one of the smartest agents in the protocol. he's good at math & physics stuff and also asks her questions about chemistry without annoying her so they sometimes just talk about different topics for hours without getting bored. and they practice their line ups so often that it became a literal hobby for them lmao.

any special dreams or goals they have as a couple? Any heartbreaks? Regrets?

beginning of their relationship was hard and full of heartbreaks and regrets, especially about a lot of wasted time between them because of their mutual disapproval for each other's ways but they got over that after going to many missions together (partnering them for special missions is an effective way to ease their tension, and it's a brim & sage approved fact)

are they open about their relationship? how do they feel about public displays of affection?

In front of agents? not necessarily affectionate bc of the no fraternization rule etc etc but they have their own way to keep their physical touch w small gestures, and sova is a generally affectionate man so no one really questions it but apart from these they don't really cross personal borders around each other in public but in private? oh boy o h b o y

what do they do for fun? Do they have a favorite activity or do they like to switch things up?

they don't have much free time because.. usual agent shit but sova loves having late night drives with her, viper likes playing piano and it kinda soothes him and they take long walks around the island sometimes bc sova is a nature boi and it somehow helps viper w her migraine. viper also loves to practice hand to hand combat with sova, he doesn't hesitate, and he knows she's strong, so he gives all of himself. but honestly i don't think it matters what they're doing- they just enjoy spending time alone together. long conversations till midnight, watching a movie, having a private dinner, reading a book, sitting quietly by fire or just doing their own things in the pleasance of the other's company.

what does their home look like? Their room?

sova probably has a cabin in the woods in russia and viper still has that iconic penthouse, but they move into their own house not long after all that kingdom & omega world fiasco is over to make a clean start. their house is modern in a warm ambience, covered in grey walls w shades of green and blue with long windows and carpets. soft green sofas in their living room, a big TV on the wall and a rather large fireplace with a lil (big enough for both of them) beanbag chair in front of it. dark wooden shelves in the kitchen with long windows and bathrooms featuring marble-styled counters, some walls decorated with their and their friends' photos. viper is a minimalist and sova doesn't really like clutter, so they don't over-decorate it in any way. sova claimed one of the large rooms as their office space, keeping all of their books, his devices, and other work related stuff in there. viper has her own lab in the underground floor of their house with an extra room for any weapon they keep with them. Their bedroom is one of the largest rooms in the house, there's a dressing room attached to it to keep both of their clothes. their bed is big and it's placed in the middle of the room with two nightstands, and although she doesn't believe in such things, there's a small handcrafted dreamcatcher (from fade) on one of the walls. they have two extra bedrooms for guests.

[blossom-hwa]

hello!! i'm in love with the way you write and the breathe & live au has to be one of the best aus i've read on here thank you so much for writing it aaaaaa

may i request another drabble for the breathe, & live au if it's not finished yet? i can't get enough of it :')))

again, thank you so much!! ^^

!!!! anon thank you so much for the kind words, it makes me very happy to hear you liked breathe, and live so much! the series is definitely not over I can tell you that, I just have to get myself off my ass to keep writing it LMAO. thank you for this request!

4 year anniversary drabble game: send me a Stray Kids/The Boyz/Golden Child/Ateez member + a prompt (check out the post for ideas) and I’ll write a drabble for you!

I don't know if you specifically wanted me to write for chan in this drabble - I originally was going to do that, but then I remembered this idea that a mutual came up with (it was mai or furat or both...) a few months ago for dad!minho + kid!seungmin, so I decided to write this instead. I hope you don't mind!

Read the original series, Breathe, and Live, here!

~

Title: The Floor is Lava!

Pairing: none (Minho centric, implied Chan x reader)

Word count: 1.1k

Triggers: cursing

~

"Papa."

Minho blinks. Pauses. Makes sure he wasn't just hearing things after spending way too many hours staring at the dance video on this computer screen - he needs to get this done as soon as possible, it's all ready been too long -

A small, familiar hand tugs at his pants. "Papa."

Not a figment of his imagination, then.

Minho turns in his chair, coming face to face with a solemn-faced Seungmin clutching his favorite stuffed animal in one hand. A tired smile curves his lips. “Hey, Minnie.” He swings Seungmin up onto his lap. “I thought you were asleep. What’s up?”

Seungmin doesn’t answer. Minho watches his eyes follow Soonie’s path as he slowly traipses his way around the room. “Do you want to play with Soonie?”

A shake of the head. Okay, then. “Do you want to play with Doongie?”

Another shake. 

“Dori?”

Another no. 

“Do you want to play with me?”

Seungmin pauses. Nods a little. Then -

“I want Jinnie.”

Oh. 

Oh, fuck. 

“Jinnie isn’t here,” Minho says softly, turning Seungmin around just enough to look at him. “I think he and his mom are busy tonight.” You told him yesterday you’d be going out with Chan and the kids, and that you’d probably get back a little late. “We can go and see him tomorrow?”

Seungmin nods. Stays silent. Clutches the stuffed dog in his hand even tighter. 

“Alright.” Minho tries not to feel his heart crack in half. He knows he agreed to you moving out with Chan, but even then, he feels the loneliness sometimes without you and Hyunjin. He can only imagine it must be worse for Seungmin. “Do you want to play a game?”

“Okay,” Seungmin replies. “What game?”

What game, indeed. Minho didn’t manage to think this far ahead. He hums a little, eyes searching the room frantically for a game that will hopefully wear Seungmin out enough that he forgets about Hyunjin long enough to actually go to sleep...

Sometime during the course of this conversation, Dori has joined Soonie in the living room. Minho watches with an idle eye as he pads across the floor, then leaps up onto a table - 

That’s it. He’s a genius.

“Minnie, do you know how to play the floor is lava?”

. . .

It takes a little preparation at first. Minho moves away the rolling chair and the smaller, unsteadier pieces of furniture. Seungmin listens carefully when Minho explains the rules - pretend that the floor is lava when he says ‘go’ and jump onto one of the toddler-proofed pieces of furniture - and warns him not to jump on any of the chairs or small tables he’s purposely moved out of reach. By that time, Doongie has also joined them, so when Seungmin asks if the cats are going to play too, Minho just shrugs and says yes. Why not?

“Remember the rules, Seungmin?” Minho calls from his spot in the middle of the living room. 

By the couch, Seungmin nods. Smart boy, standing next to a piece of furniture. He definitely got that from Minho. 

“Okay.” He smiles. “Three, two, one... the floor is lava!”

Seungmin scrambles onto the couch with a tiny shriek of laughter. Minho barely manages to get onto the table after Dori decides right now is the best opportunity to try and weave through his legs, forcing Minho to basically trip onto the table. “Again!” Seungmin cheers as Minho almost falls flat on his face. “Again!” 

A cat jumps onto his back. Probably Dori, the bastard. Minho groans. “Let me get Dori off my back,” he wheezes, subtly trying to edge the cat off. “Come on, stupid cat.”

Finally, Dori is on the table too, and Minho can sit up to catch his breath. This isn’t going very well for him, but Seungmin’s beaming like he hasn’t all evening, and that’s what’s most important. “Alright,” he says, smiling. “Ready, set... the floor is lava!”

Seungmin leaps onto a chair at the same time Soonie does, which earns him a face full of cat fur and Minho a screeching laugh that widens his smile. Minho collapses onto the couch where Doongie has claimed a spot. Said cat looks at him with a disdainful eye when he lands on the cushions.

“You try being a father,” Minho mutters under his breath. 

Doongie just turns back around, pressing his nose into his tail. Minho wants to say more, but Seungmin’s yelling “again! again!” once more all the while hugging Soonie, so Minho turns his attention back to his son and they begin to play again. 

Fifteen minutes pass before Minho falls off a chair and onto the floor, prompting Seungmin to screech out a “Papa fell in the lava!”, which in turn prompts Minho to pretend that he’s dying, awkwardly flailing his limbs before assuming a comical dead position on the floor. As Seungmin’s laughs ring in the air, Doongie comes over to investigate his body. Minho kind of wonders why it was the possibility of him being dead that got Doongie to actually come over here. 

Better not to think about that too much, the helpful part of his brain says. 

Soonie and Dori join Doongie, and once Minho has reassured Seungmin enough times that the game is over and the floor is no long lava, his son joins them too in one little pile of fur and bodies on the floor. Minho hugs him close, feeling Seungmin giggle into his chest, and smiles despite the tiring evening. “Tired?” he murmurs into Seungmin’s ear, patting his head. He gets a little nod in reply. 

For the second time that night, Minho puts Seungmin to bed, reassuring him that they’ll go to see you and Hyunjin tomorrow and that yes, maybe they can play the floor is lava with all of the other boys too. When Seungmin’s breaths have evened into sleep and Minho thinks he can safely leave the room, he pauses in the hallway and smiles.

Tomorrow, they’ll go over to your place and see Hyunjin, Jisung, and Felix. Tomorrow, Minho will get to see you and make sure you’re okay, all the while subtly reminding Chan that if he does anything to hurt you, he’ll pay. 

Tomorrow, Seungmin will laugh like he did today. 

Tomorrow, Minho will smile like this again. 

Tomorrow... 

Minho pauses in his thoughts. Is he sure about what he’s thinking? Absolutely sure?

He’ll never be sure. He can’t see the future. Every new day is uncertain. But for now, he can predict. He can wonder. He can believe. 

He smiles again. Yes. 

Tomorrow, things will be okay once more.

[mellowswriting]

Hello my beloved writer! Can you recommend blogs like yours, please? 👀

OH BOY CAN I 

thank you my dear anon for this opportunity to gush over my favorite writers

@absurdthirst

Keri’s fics were the first I truly delved into when I got into the Pedro Character fandom and she was the one who got me absolutely hooked. Plus, she’s so very nice and gives amazing advice and encouragement (about writing and general life, too!). Here are a few of my favorites, but literally everything she writes is amazing:

Damnation or Salvation (Pero Tovar x Reader) 

Pureza (Javier Peña x Reader)

Home (Frankie Morales x Reader x Santiago Garcia)

Halloween Party (Marcus Pike x Reader) 

@softpedropascal 

Are you in love with Frankie Morales like I am? Because holy shit, Cassandra’s characterization is spot on. Anytime I want to yearn, I head over to her blog because oh my god!!!! Especially everything about Frankie and his panty kink because HELLO (find here, here, here, here, here, and here.) She also perfectly captures Frankie’s penchant for being a goofy little shit, which is exactly how I headcanon him. 

@santigarcia

As someone who is a total whore for both Oscar Isaac characters and Pedro Pascal characters, Taylor’s blog feels like home. Personally I love Santiago Garcia, so I find myself hanging out on her blog quite often. Get a Room makes me lose my mind far too often.  Also, read through the Human Touch series (Here is part one) if you’re unhealthily obsessed with Nathan Bateman like I am

@sergeantkane

If you wanna lose your absolute shit over some Oscar characters, hit up Clarke. I’m personally so very soft for Llewyn Davis that it makes my chest physically ache. Outnumbered is so soft and domestic, it’s a definite fave of mine. Also, remember how I said I was a whore for Nathan Bateman and Santiago Garcia? Well, you can imagine my joy when I read Indescribable, a Santi + Reader + Nathan threesome. It’s so very hot and well written! Admit It is the perfect combination of softness and smut, which can be hard when the character is such a hardass like Nathan. 

@writefightandflightclub

Luna’s writing and characterization gets me every damn time. Ever since the end of one of her Nathan fics shook me to my absolute core (y’all who read her stuff know exactly which one I’m talking about LMAO), I’ve been downright obsessed. Friends Without Benefits is one of hers that I read over and over and never get tired of. Burn, Baby, Burn is suuuuper hot

@gagmebucky

It’s well established that I’m a filthy whore for Bucky Barnes, and I partially blame Q for this. I won’t get too explicit here on this main post (I’ll save it for my own fics lol) but here are a few of my favorites! Banging it out on the subway bc Bucky’s a little shit who can’t wait, Breeding kink fics (here, here, and here), and  Bucky appreciating your Brazilian wax! Plus this Steve Rodgers x Reader breeding kink fic rocked my world lmao 

@honeysucklesteve

Everything. Just everything about this blog destroys me. It hits in all the right places if you’re into Bucky and Steve fics. The Feelings Mutual (part one and part two) destroyed me and I was left a puddle in my bed because roommate!Bucky is just a particular brand of delicious. Grumpy is so well written! Yeah, Bucky absolutely is a grumpy ass old man and some sloppy toppy is exactly what he needs. Lumberjack!Steve in Wilderness, best friend’s dad!Steve in Guys My Age, and college!Steve in Ruin Our Friendship are the fics that got me really into Steve Rogers. 

[interstellix]

to those who made my 2020 a little better,

i just wanted to let each one of you know that you mean tons to me and that you truly have, in one way or another, made this year better. i’ll be honest, 2020 was just not it for me, a whole lot of shit happened and i’ve had countless of days where i’ve been too tired in ways i can’t explain. at the same time though, good things have happened as well, one of them being the people i’ve met on tumblr; some of you i’ve been friends with since before, some of you i got to know this year and some of you even very very recently. still, i can’t thank these people enough because they’ve all been part of making this year less shitty than it would’ve been otherwise. thus, i wanted to at least let the mentioned ones know that they’re the ones part of that

now, i’m really not good with words, and i absolutely Hate being sappy, yet that’s exactly what i’m being here fjkdfk. i’m deadass out here cringing at my own words but please bear with me this one time LMAOO.

tldr; ily and u’re all v v precious people to me

@ohmyhao i don't think i'll ever be able to explain just how precious you are to me, no joke :( i'm almost 100% you're the one who's been sticking around my blog(s) since the very start and i want you to know that, even if we don't talk as often, i'm grateful for each and every day knowing i deadass have someoone like you around. i mean, i'll be honest, i still question your choice of favorite haikyuu characters because oi🤮kawa bUT!! i'll forgive you bc!! you're literally among the cutest people i've ever come across (don't even think of arguing with me this time), you're no joke one of the reasons i continued staying on tumblr and getting to know you is something i'll always feel blessed over 🥰

@kachulein LOL OK i could go on for hours and hours here, mostly because of how many and all the different things we talk about stuff that just shouldn't see the light of the world included. talking to you is something that never fails to make me feel happy but also incredibly at ease; i really, really want you to know that something i’m incredibly grateful for is how i’m comfortable enough with you to be able to talk about things i otherwise just can’t :( aside from that, listen, 99% of our conversation have me wheezing my throat off, like it can get weird af but it still has me laughing. something else i’m really happy is when you put in your two cents in our conversation, i’ve said it before but as someone who struggles with seeing things from more than one perspective, i really admire hearing about your own! all in all, i love you tons and tons, you’re an incredible person through and through and i truly appreciate the time i get to talk to you!

@starryarles i don’t think i tell you this enough but?? mae?? i literally love you so much, legit l-o-mae-l??? i still laugh my ass of looking back at the time you found my other blog and i had to guess which one of my mutuals you were LMAOO listen the panic fjijfkjk. anyway, i absolutely adore every message, ask and comment i receive from you, no joke i always get really happy from each one of them and tbh?? during that long period of time we didn’t talk i genuinely thought you hated me or something HAHAH. turns out that that was not true at all or so i hope and not to sound like a sap but i’m deadass overjoyed that we started talking again. and really, you’re way, way too supportive, i literally don’t deserve how much love i’ve received from you even but please know that i’m grateful for every bit of it and that i love you stupid much and hope we can have another good year together :’)

@milkteandhan you?? are also?? one of the few who have been dealing with my ass literally from the very start?? because i seriously can’t remember having been on tumblr without you around?? BUT ALSO YOU LITTLE SHIT IDGI you bully me to the ends of the fucking world but for some reason?? i still love you?? >:(( ok but jokes aside, i really do love you a lot, i mean i love you as much as you make me suffer and that? that’s a lot :) you drop by my inbox with either the cutest/funniest message or pictures that make me wanna dig my grave but either way, they always make me smile like a fucking moron and listen LISTEN. i really wanna explain to you how much you mean to me but idk where to start bc i can’t. literally just can’t. find the words for that. but all i can say is that meeting you is something i’ll thank any and every damn god out there for and i’m not even religious, like at all fjkdjfkd so yeah. mwah

@astronomlns my god you bitch you bully me almost on the daily and then you?? have the audacity to deny it?? but! that said, i don’t mind lol. one of my biggest regret what goes my “”online-life”” is the awfully long time we didn’t talk but that’s also why i’m mad happy that we actually do now, almost every day even. i’ve already said this before but have the friendly reminder that you’re among the few that i feel really safe when talking. we’ve also pointed out this before but it’s almost been two whole years since we became friends and i hope you can stick with my shit for another whole year. again, you bully me a lot, but i still love you a whole damn lot, never forget that

@lixchannie i’ll be flat out honest, idk what the hell i’m supposed to say here. despite all bullshit that has happened you’ve been there with me this entire, entire time ever since we became friends and i don’t think i’ll ever be able to explain how thankful i am for that. we don’t talk every day and imy when we don’t lmao but tbh i’m fine with that because i’m genuinely glad knowing that i even get to have someone like you in my life. so yeah don’t leave me bc i’ll deadass hunt you to the end of the world

the rest of the “”kin-gang”” like some like to call it @bubbleskz @berryyyyyy @skzbbie we don’t talk as often, v v rarely actually but i want y’all to know that i don’t appreciate and love you any less than i did before we started somewhat losing touch. i don’t like sounding cheesy and shit fjkfkds but let it slide this time, the times we do talk are times i treasure more than i can explain, deadass. i feel like i don’t tell you this enough but you guys are better friends than i could ever ask for. again, we don’t talk as much, but 2020 would’ve sucked a thousand times more if we didn’t talk a lot, so thank you tons for being part of it and i hope you’ll be there for 2021 too :’)

@soulkhunscompass LISTEN. listen. i’ll say it, i’ll just fucking say it: i don’t deserve you at fucking all :///// you’re way too sweet to me, talking to you always makes me smile and laugh, esp when you promise making me food one day ffjdkfjkds. but somehow?? at the same time, and idk how you do it, but somehow SOMEHOW you never fail to make me feel appreciated whenever you tell me sweet ass things. ‘in return’, never forget that both that and you are something i appreciate way way more k >:( and also >:(( never forget that i love you so much, literally more than i love how the corner of felix’s eyes crinkle up whenever he smiles and that’s,,, that’s a damn lot tbh 👉👈

@chwe-yeeun honestly i’m lowkey sobbing while writing this. you’re one of those i only got to know this year, in fact just a few months ago but nonetheless, you’re still one of those i treasure a whole damn lot. like you said, you love making me suffer with pretty boys, it hurts but it’s still funny lmao, i appreciate but also feel bad whenever you have to deal with my bullshit whenever i come crying to you over eric those pretty boys, aNd ThE tImEs yOu SeNd ThAt CuTe HuG?? i return them all, like fr take my heart i don’t need it, it’s your for the taking like literally fuck it. moral of the story, i love you tons and thank you for being there with and for me :’)

@riskyrenjun i might as well start off and say that i fucking screeched when i saw you in my notifs and mention my content on your blog bc?? the queen herself?? noticed me?? wtf?? and i’ll be honest, i’ve been following you for a good while and for the longest time ever i wanted to hit you up bc you’ve literally always seemed so precious sO?? dO YOU EVEN KNOW??? hoW hAPPY i am?? that we actually?? are friends?? i’ve done nothing to deserve that but here we are fjkflkd. i saw your end-of-the-year post, i’m sorry i haven’t responded to it and that i’ve been so shit at talking lately, but i promise i’ll try to get better at it lmao so!!! i hope you’ll still stick around with me at that point because i can be really fucking damn annoying 🥺 long story short pray for a good 2021 bc you’ll probably regret ever even wanting to talk to me once we’ve become closer lol <3

there are a few other friends and mutuals i wanna include here; i don’t talk as much with some of y’all, others are people i’m still getting to know but nevertheless, i want you to know that meeting each one of you here on this hellsite is a blessing in itself and that it’s one of the things i’m happy 2020 has actually given me :’)

@0325-4419 @marculees @jwisungchan @stealerz @ciiikb @zoey-angel-istaeminsbitchnow @yangles @violethhj @littlefallenrebel  

alllso to dear dc servers: @planteii @joey-yellow-county @sakura-writes-stuff @bound-writings @koukounuts @classicalsylph  the rest of the server bc i’m struggling really hard to find them // @crimsoncitrus @everythingsinred and the rest of that server because again i’m struggling to find the url to the rest fjdkfkd; i’m not particularly active in neither but i still want you to know that i’m very grateful for being able to be part of two v v warm and welcoming servers, so thank you for that 🥺

[zelkam]

Getting to Know You

tagged by @lanyuan - thank you so much for tagging me! ✨

why did you choose your url?

so this is actually super dumb, but it’s a name I came up with when I was still in elementary school and it’s actually a gummy bear reference bc it’s “żelka” in Polish and it was my favorite type of candy 😅; actually I’ve been kinda thinking that I should change it because some minecraft streamer started using the same name and got somewhat popular, making finding my stuff way harder; but at this point I got too used to it since people know me by this name and often call me “Zel” and also I'm too tired to do something about it at this point 🙄 also I’m stubborn

any side-blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

two actually! I have an art blog @zelkams-art to - obviously - post my art + a tiny studyblr @anetastudies for some aesthetic pictures of coffee and stationery and study/research tips and resources that I wanna save! 

how long have you been on tumblr?

uhhh since like 2011/2012 I think? not sure when exactly and I can’t check because I had to remake in 2014 [long story short I accidentally deleted my main instead of a sideblog *honk honk*]

do you have a queue tag?

I don’t use queue - if you see me posting then it’s me clicking that little reblog button, so what if it’s 5am

why did you start your blog in the first place?

....to find Naruto and Bleach fanart

why did you choose your icon/pfp?

it’s Hanguang-june babey 

why did you choose your header?

I wanted something CQL-related, so I went with this wangxian art of mine because it’s my fave thing I’ve draw from the series so far + I edited it to match the black-red-white color combo

what’s your post with the most notes?

uhhh it would be this Yuri on Ice pic that I drew after the Ice Adolescence trailer was released, since it got on the tumblr radar and kinda skyrocketed after that

how many people do you follow?

1131, but that’s reduced from over 1800 not so long ago; but I’d say that like 80% of them are other artists and not blogs that post daily

have you ever made a shitpost?

nothing spectacular but I’ve made a few dumb posts along the way

how often do you use tumblr each day?

too much, especially lately 😬

did you have a fight/argument with a blog once?

I absolutely bolt at any sight of drama, sometimes before it even starts, so nope

how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this post’?

*scrolls down faster*

do you like tag games?

yeah! though I sometimes don’t know who to tag next or I’m too shy with some people, even if we’re mutuals 😅

do you like ask games?

yes! though for quite a long time I didn’t post them because I felt like no one would ask and it would be awkward, but it looks like you guys actually do send me stuff :0 (idk I’ve been trying ot be a bit more social on here lately)

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

what even is tumblr famous lmao; I mean there are some Very Cool People, but I’d also say that it’s more fandom-specific, not actually in relation to the whole website? 

do you have a crush on a mutual?

as much as I like you guys, the answers is nah, we’re all just little icons

I’m gonna tag @still-snowing, @glorfindels, @mjsakurea, @faelise and @everdoeswriting! (ofc if you haven’t done this before and only if you want to!)

[txbioglow]

serious talk today 😔 so i need to address character anons . why you should be careful with them , my experience ( bc that’s why im making this , as i need to address it ) , and if you are a character anon for someone , why it’s so important to be nice .

this is long but please bare with me as it’s important

everyone wants a character anon. someone to talk to that also happens to be a character from a show you like ?? sign me up . people use character anons as comfort characters , they talk to them , get to pretend like their favorite character is actually real for just a bit . and it truly makes people happy . they feel good abt themselves and puts a smile on their face . see the difference with real friends and anons , is that you know exactly who your mutual is . with your character anon , you have no idea who’s really behind that . when a mutual calls you an insult , it’s most likely in a jokingly and loving way . to a degree , teasing and insulting each other is okay . when that comes from a character anon , it feels like a slap in the face . that perfect happy world you were in ? vanished . now you just feel shocked that your character anon , has just changed and is now bullying you in a way that doesn’t give off tsukishima vibes . like the person behind that is seriously making that character an ass towards you and do you know how much it hurts ? imagine a stranger coming up and calling you for example , a dumbass . or saying they’d rather talk to someone else . hurts right ? that’s how it feels when a character anon comes for you .

moving on to my experience with a character anon . it was heaven at first . i had talked about how much i wanted a character anon and boom there was an anon in my inbox . too good to be true . they were so nice , made me melt . i almost threw my computer across the room couldn’t stop smiling . we spoke for a little , very soft cutely . my friends and i were all fangirling . they were hyping me up , watching this unfold like a k-drama . we were having fun they came up with a ship name for us , helped me reply to my anon , until everything went downhill

then we moved to my alt account to talk for a few reasons and i’m very glad we did because i would be ashamed if any of you had to have the conversation that started popping up on your dashboard . i received a message from them saying “ gotta blast to another babe, i’ll be back in a bit 🧡- your dearest ( character ) 🧡”

see i don’t care if you use this same anon for mutliple people when you interact with me like that it’s in their character and it makes me feel terrible about myself . go ahead and use the same character anon for mutliple people but don’t tell me you have to go talk to ‘ another babe ‘ in your character . makes me feel like i’m no longer interesting and you’re tired of me . not to sound self centered but when you send me a character anon in my inbox , i don’t want to be told those things by them . and it was all fine until then . so my friends said ‘ go off on him ‘ and i just played it cool like i was upset so i ‘ went off ’ 

as if that weren’t good enough i received two more saying  “no need to get pressed miss 💀- (character) 😜” and “i’ll just slide in one of ur friends dms then LMAO- stay pressed 🥺”

this hurt me so much man . i played it cool and said like ‘omg wow ihy you whore ‘ but it really did hurt . i got messages from my three oldest and closest mutuals that the character did indeed ‘ slide ‘ into their inboxes . it was ignored by one , and addressed by two . both seemingly upset because at that point i was visibly hurt . the anon was flamed by them and no on heard from them after that . however two of my mutuals ( including one who received a message from my anon ) gained new anons at the same time i did today . their anons had the EXACT same layout as mine , and i am very suspicious .

see if this wasn’t already ‘ not fine ‘ i then realized , that this person , who acted like an ass , and hurt me , has to be one of my followers . wtf man . did you think it was funny but it went wrong ? were you genuinely attempting to hurt me ? and as well as the fact that two of the mutuals that the anon spoke to after me where two close friends whom i havent publicly interacted with in ages . so is someone stalking me and my acc ? i have full confidence that the anon is reading this right now . what i’m now doing is laying a bit lower , maybe interacting on alt accounts , staying cautious of anons , and attempting to find out who the anon was . my attempts haven’t been working so if anyone who’s reading this knows of methods that have worked for them before ( for finding out who anons are ) please message me or talk to me through inbox or comments . i really want to know who this person was knowing they must follow my account closely . whether its for finding account names or ip addresses , anything works <3

so this brings me to my next topic , please be cautious of anons because you don’t know who they are or what their intentions are . 

and i just want to show some extra love to a few people for the following reasons , 

@zerohawks for hyping me up and helping me out both when the anon was still soft , and when the anon turned . i love u sm

@nejihoe for helping me research ways to find anons , and just listening . understanding my feelings and asking me genuinely how i felt . i appreciate you so much

@kaminology for absolutely flaming my anon on your dashboard , and for being concerned about me and really just putting everything down for me you know how much i love you .

@kageyuwu for really listening and volunteering to do everything you could to help , and scrolling through youtube for a good half an hour trying to figure out how to track anons i appreciate you more than you could know .

please go give them some love !!

anyway i thank you for listening if you made it to the end , heed what i said about being and receiving character anons please for your safety <3