#also i feel like a lot of the replies i get about that post are from people arguing against

[astr-venus]

｡⁠☆TTYL XOXO｡⁠.ﾟ⁠+⁠ 

｡⁠☆Tim Drake headcanons + SMAU

｡⁠☆Cw: no pronouns, no use of y/n, mention of stalking, civilian reader

˗ˏ★First of all, he's a shit typer. He's typing while barely looking at the screen most of the time, but muscle memory allows his typing to still be mostly coherent

˗ˏ★What he chooses to abbreviate or to actually spell out is in God's hands, he definitely isn't thinking about word choice

˗ˏ★Also a lot more blunt over text. Most of the time he's in the middle of something and lowk rushing to reply (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)

˗ˏ★Sends memes and tiktoks all the time. It's his love language 🩷🩷

˗ˏ★Such a "this is us" "is this us" "this reminds me of us" type of guy lol. It can be two balls of trash rolling down the street and he'll be like "me n u on a walk<33"

˗ˏ★He loves when you send stuff like that back. It makes him feel all warm inside

˗ˏ★Only says I love you over text. He's working on it, but the only person he knows that casually says ily is Dink

˗ˏ★A huge workaholic, whether we're talking about WE or vigilante activities. His work/life balance is almost as bad as Bruce's

˗ˏ★Denies his weird and obsessive habits for plausible deniability lmao

˗ˏ★Sneaks into your house with dubious consent, but he (almost) always tells you when he's done it

˗ˏ★Always up late bc of his vigilante activities so finding lovey dovey texts sent to you between like 3-6am is pretty regular

˗ˏ★Will NOT acknowledge them in person tho. That's way too vulnerable for him, and the reason you only ever get those texts when his inhibitions are lowered

˗ˏ★Accidentally cropped the last one wrong but you get the gist so it's fine (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠)

˗ˏ★I'm a Tim doesn't like coffee truther soooo....

˗ˏ★Constantly texting you during boring WE meetings. He doesn't even hide it either. The other rich guys there will be like "Mr.Drake-Wayne sir?? 😟☝🏾 Is everything okay you've been on your phone this whole time😕!" And he'll be like "yeah everything's fine thanks😐" without even looking up

˗ˏ★You don't know he does this fyi, you just assume he has a lot of free time since he's CEO

I did nawt think this was gonna be the first Batfam thing I posted, I have a bunch more in my drafts, but here we are lol. Come hop into my askbox, I don't bite /⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\

｡⁠☆Requests open

[foldingfittedsheets]

I saw this post https://www.tumblr.com/lowpawly/773232495692038144 and am confused about something. I didn't want to ask people in the replies bc I thought I might get some hostility, but you seem good about answering this sort of question. Why would trans people need specially-designed sex toys? Wouldn't a trans woman use the same sex toys as a cis man? And a trans man use the same toys as a cis woman? Or if they're post-op, wouldn't they use the same toys as a cis person of their gender? What am i missing?

Well, it rather depends on the person. But often, trans folks pre-op are going to want sex toys that make them feel gender affirmed.

Most trans guys of my experience at the sex shop really didn’t like penetration. It didn’t feel gender affirming to use a dildo on themself. But there’s strapless strap ons that still provided sensation internally while providing the feeling of having a penis.

Trans ladies in my experience often had mixed to negative emotions surrounding their penis and traditional strokers were not their jam. A lot went for anal toys as they felt more correct.

However the website they’re talking about in the link is kinda saying “Here’s what other trans folks said they liked, we made a section.”

It’s also worth noting that those experiences will vary. I only got to talk to a small sampling of folks who wanted help, this isn’t a blanket statement over all trans folks. Humans in general are extremely varied in how they get off and mostly that’s their business.

[celenexox]

Hardlaunch - Matt Sturniolo

pairings: bf!matt x softgf!reader

summary: when you suggest to your boyfriend matt the idea of hardlaunching your relationship

warnings: fluff, kissing

you and your boyfriend matt have been dating for five months now, and no one except close friends and family knew, you both didn’t want his fans to get in the way of the relationship so you kept it hidden from the public

but as you started to analyze things clearly, you noticed that a lot of girls would hit on him, off and online, you wanted everyone to know that he was yours

you were gonna meet up with him today, and that’s when the idea came to you

——————————————————————-

you open the door to let matt in “hey baby!” you say inviting him into your arms, you pull out the hug to face him and look him in the eyes, “okay so i have an idea”

“what is it?” he replies, sorta skeptical by the way of your tone

“it’s nothing bad! i don’t think.. okay so how do you feel about a hardlaunch?”

he looks at you all confused “why did you randomly think of this now? also you know how crazy the fans are, there’s no way anything good can come from this”

by the way of his words, you start to get a little hesitant, but you still wanted everyone to know that the two of you were together, so you knew you weren’t going to give up trying “it won’t be anything crazy, we can post it on my instagram, it doesn’t even have to be a youtube video”

“i still want to know where this came from” he says while crossing his arms

“im just tired of keeping everything secret you know? why’s it so bad that people find out that we’re dating, we are dating are we not?”

“yes of course we are dating” he sighs before continuing to speak again “okay you know what fine, but nothing too crazy”

you kiss him on the cheek “yay!” and to be honest with yourself you weren’t convinced that he was going to agree

you two were now in your room together, he stops to ask “so what are we going to do exactly?”

“just trust me” you reply, starting to add red lipstick on

he chuckles slightly “okay..”

you finish applying the lipstick and turn to kiss him, he was caught by surprise but embraces your lips on his

he pulls out, all out of breath “great now i have your lipstick on me”

“that’s the point..” you reply, giving him a grin

you then pull out your camera and snap a few photos, matt starting to understand what is happening, “i like the way you think”

you giggle at his comment and turn the camera to see the pictures

he looks at you and says “these are perfect”.

[tarraxahum]

This was gonna be a reply to a reply but I thought maybe I should just make my own post. Yes this is about Vi again.

It's no secret that "Vi should've fought for Zaun" and the expectation of her being Vander's prodigy and feeling like the plot dropped the ball on her in that regard and the betrayal at the fact that she's living comfortably in Piltover now are. Frequent sentiments in the fandom. Which I get, but also I feel that this line of expectations is. Diverging from who Vi actually is by the end and what she was realistically capable of.

Vi in season 2 is basically running on fumes and because she has no other options. It is a well known thing in irl activist spaces that to participate in any kind of fight for justice you need to take care of yourself, otherwise you won't have the energy to be any kind of useful to your community. Ekko also says this - "It's not enough to give people what they need to survive, you have to give them what they need to live". Vi has been surviving and not living in any shape or form for years, she's exhausted and broken in places. That's no mental state to fight for Zaun or make any kinda change. I think it's extremely realistic and human and hardly a flaw of writing or the character if by the end the only thing she was able to do was collapse into the safety and peace she was offered for the first time in forever (aka Caitlyn). It's clear that in her last scene she's still recovering mentally - Cait seems to be excited to have any sign of life (singing) from her at all, and the "Are you still in this fight?" question is very loaded. (But it's indicated that Vi is very much still in the fight, so? It's really anyone's guess what she'll do once she's healed and remembers how to live. And don't bring up LoL's Vi brutality thing, it's clear they're different characters).

I think in wanting to see Vi stand up for Zaun or be Vander's prodigy we often deny her the flaw of being a breakable human and forget just how much she's held together by duct tape. Just because she was full of this 'fuck Piltover' fire as a kid doesn't mean she is still capable of matching that energy. Sometimes after lots of trauma humans grow up into tired adults who just want to sit down and feel safe regardless of where it happens and how questionable it might look (re: living in Piltover). Not to mention, that even as a child Vi's main reason for fuming at the Topside was wanting safety for her family and herself. Well, now she's all out of family, she's estranged from the community of Zaun thanks to being in prison for 7 years and Silco changing the place so much, and the only person who's offering her safety and not more fighting (which she's exhausted and thoroughly burnt out from!) is Caitlyn, so. How is where she ended up any kind of surprising or a failure of her writing/character?

Yes, a lot of people wanted a revolutionary, no, Vi isn't one. Dare I say, never really was one. At her lowest, when she's got no one left to protect, she's not trying to fill in that void by taking on protecting Zaun and becoming a vigilante or something, no, she spirals. That is not something on her radar, that's not something she's visibly cut out to do, she cares so so much but on a smaller scale. Even the whole shimmer factory debacle was less about Zaun and more about her desire to hurt Silco personally for what he'd done to her family. If Jinx agreed to run away with her back at the tea party Vi would ditch the entirety of Zaun (potentially leaving it to Silco forever since he's still alive at that point) in a heartbeat to keep her sister and save Cait in one move. She puts on an enforcer uniform BECAUSE she cares for Jinx (through convincing herself that at the very least she should take her out of her misery herself rather than leaving it to people who don't care, yes) and Cait both.

Perhaps a hot take, but not becoming a leader despite being good at taking hits to the head and caring about people in general and being a daughter of one does not make Vi a badly written character or a bad person. It just makes her a person. And a character whose arc culminated in choosing herself. And choosing yourself sometimes means leaving the fight to others (perhaps temporarily, considering the final dialogue). And that's okay.

Arcane is tragedy about flawed people, not a feel-good story about a successful revolution and rich people paying for their crap, and it was never going to be. Ergo one of our main character isn't an upcoming hero in shining armor who was allegedly robbed of her potential. She's just a broken young woman who barely knows how to keep her own little life together and her biggest victory by the end is allowing herself to take a breath and live for once. Yes, while her home down there is still in shambles. Yes, that sounds selfish. For some people a bit of selfishness is the greatest thing they can ever learn for themselves.

[widebrimmedhatsblog]

ONYX STORM SPOILERS (for your readers)

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If you feel like it, will you expand on how you think they are still involved romantically in the end of onyx storm? Like I get that they are married but that seems to more to secure Violet’s future without him. It doesn’t seem to be because he has any hopes of any kind of future for the two of them together. Romantically or otherwise. He doesn’t want her to look for him. Aren’t they as broken up as they can be at this point? I’d love to hear your thoughts (and love another/different perspective because these thoughts I’m currently having are honestly making me feel ill).

Also thank you for your contributions to the fandom!! Honestly I think fanfic is the only thing that’s gonna get me through this. Hope we get an upsurge of riorgail fluff from everyone 🙏🏼

I have never felt like doing anything more, anon!!! I get what you're saying, and I think that's the way Rebecca/Red Tower WANT us to see it, because they want us to be anxious about where it's going so that we buy the next book. However, I refuse to subscribe to that! Here's why:

(I wrote an actual essay, so it's below the cut:)

"Together romantically" My answer to the other ask was me visiting the Xaden Liarson school of verbal gymnastics so that I didn't spoil the ending for that anon. However, judging by Xaden's behavior throughout ALL of Onyx Storm (and frankly, books 1 and 2 as well) he wouldn't marry her just to dip overall. Like, even not being meta here, he wouldn't do that. He's selfish when it comes to her, for one thing, and he says this repeatedly. For another, he CLEARLY wants to marry her just to marry her. I don't want to get sucked in to another re-read (and someone else asked for my thoughts on the ending in general, so I'll reply to that ask once I'm done with my second re-read in the next few days with more page numbers and quotes and things) but in the scene with his mother, Xaden's reaction seems to illustrate that marriage is NOT a tool for him like it was for his father. He wants to marry Violet because he loves her. Now, obviously the shotgun (crossbow?) wedding was ALSO a move to protect her and solidify her place without him as you said, but with how he talked about marriage throughout the book, and how he talked about HER, he's not marrying her just to dip. He's just not! It means something to him, as she does, and he's not going to forsake that.

Violet Violet isn't letting him marry her just to dip either. Her thoughts throughout the entire book are that she isn't scared of him and she isn't running, and she isn't letting him run from her, either. The way the scene is set up with Sgaeyl, we see:

(Sgaeyl) glances over her shoulder. "And you think she'll help?" "She loves me." "Tairn does not, and you haven't looked in the mirror yet. The red veins branching from your eyes look like her lightning." "She'll help." It comes out with a hell of a lot more certainty than I feel. "She promised."

I am slightly worried about pronoun fuckery in this bit, but we know Violet loves him more than anything, and this portion of Xaden's chapter makes it clear Violet has to agree to whatever the plan is (murdering dragons, stealing eggs, etc) and that Tairn does as well. I think Tairn would actually support them breaking up, to a certain degree, and whatever the plan is, Sgaeyl does NOT think Tairn will be down.

And then, for more confirmation:

"We will ask," Sgaeyl finally says, flexing her claws in the rocky soil "And her decision will determine our fate."

They need Violet on board for whatever they're doing. Violet isn't going to be on board with him dumping her post wedding. I know some of these lines can point in other directions, but I don't think they do, for the reasons I'll go on to spell out below!

3. Memories I know some people were confused about what, precisely, Imogen made Violet forget, and it seems like she's missing 12 hours (which, insane signet growth, Im). I could not get over Violet forgetting her wedding. Hours after I finished the book, I was like, oh my God. She can't remember her wedding, and I burst into tears. Repeatedly. At length. Which is insane, because these books NEVER make me cry. All this to say, (again, given Xaden's tone specifically surrounding marriage) they aren't going to take having her forget their wedding lightly. They just aren't. She has to forget everything in those twelve hours, because she helps Xaden concoct/finalize whatever the hell he's planning on doing (I'll probably share what I think he's planning on doing in my response to the ask I mentioned above, but the gist of it for now is that mans is going on a quest of his own), but Violet ASKS Imogen to make her forget. In the marriage aspect, Xaden's protecting Violet, but in forgetting, Violet's protecting Xaden. This is why I say romantically together as well. I think the love is more important than anything else. I think the point of this book was to make it clear they'd both do absolutely anything for the other, and the ending is a culmination of that. I know some people suggested that they have her forget so that she can't be interrogated and used against him, and I think that's definitely true (although I think making her duchess also protects her from this, but Violet has always doubted her own ability to lie). Personally, my gut instinct interpretation was that deal she made with Ridoc that she'd let Ridoc kill him if Xaden took being venin too far (which, side note, do we all just forget about them being interconnected when it suits us??? He can't die because then Violet will die. We've been over this. I digress). Clearly everyone seems to think his little "display" at the end of the book is "too far." I don't know if he killed anyone important in that scene (again, I actually thought Bodhi dies? At first? And THAT was why she had to marry Xaden to secure the duchy while he was gone? but Red Tower seems to be very in tune to fandom priorities, and with how many people love Bodhi, killing him off page would certainly be a choice) but he's still at least an Asim, if not a Sage (given the veins, I'm 99% sure he's a Sage, but again, we don't get anything concrete in that ending. side eye, Red Tower. side eye.) and therefore everyone thinks he betrayed them, and he needs to get out of there before everyone else kills him! By forgetting, Violet is saving his life. That's romantically together to me.

4. Quest! Xaden doesn't leave Violet to pull an Edward and frolic around Europe for a few months or whatever it is. He has a plan. This what he shows Sgaeyl, I believe, and what Vi and Tairn have to agree on. It involves stealing the dragon eggs, killing the elders and/or the other dragons (save me third re-read of this damn scene, save me) and getting the hell out. @maethologies told me privately that the very act of going on the Quest means Xaden has hope for a "cure", just like Violet said he still had hope if he was trying to get Brennan to mend him. I think this is the Second Krovlan Uprising tie in: trade the dragon eggs (side note: why are there 7? did Andarna steal an egg and bring it back ????) and get allies against the venin (and eventually Navarre) (and perhaps do other cure-related tasks, idk). I also personally think Xaden's going to find more answers for Violet about her connection with Dunne. A huge theme of this book was that (explicitly) Xaden and Andarna don't know who they are, but Violet doesn't really know either. She spends book 3 helping them, and in book 4, I think they help her. Basically, he returns to the isles for quest part 2! Also, I think bringing 3 riders with him is a clear sign he's not just dipping. I'm hoping my second re-read helps me finalize who the hell he brought with him besides Garrick, but if they go to the isles like I'm thinking, my moneys on Dain or Aaric for the language translation (both of whom love Violet). I have a variety of other quest nonsense to share in the other ask, but the gist of it is that he is moving with a purpose! And his purpose is Violet! Because he's in love with her!

5. Meta This is where I get a LITTLE messy. I don't know if everyone reading this saw my 2024 reading wrap up, but I have read the vast majority of RY's catalog, and I consider myself to be very familiar with the themes she likes to write, and the situations she likes to return to, over and over again. A HUGE focus for her is the war in Afghanistan. She's been obsessed with that for ten years, which makes complete sense given who she is and her lived experiences. If you happen to not be super familiar with Rebecca as a person, her husband was in the military for a very long time, and her primary sub-genre is military romance. I don't know if this carries over internationally, but in the United States, marrying your partner early on in your military career is incredibly common, because it protects them in the event of your death and while you're deployed. I was really upset about him marrying her and then immediately leaving at first, but when I thought about it, it makes complete sense for who Rebecca is and what she's gone through. I'm not trying to accuse her of self inserting or anything like that, but she clearly likes to write situations that are important to her (as do I! As do we all!) and so it makes sense to me that she'd call upon something like this for X and V. It does NOT make sense to me that she'd call upon something she went through with her husband she's still married to and then make it a break up. Will it cause tension? Obviously! But to quote Mr. Riorson himself, they're past the break up stage. (Rebecca does some silly things with foreshadowing in her books, and sometimes she says things like this to prove them wrong, and other times, she says things like this prove them right. I really think this is a "prove them right" scenario, but I'm basing that off vibes, frankly, and my knowledge of her body of work. My Rebeccca-dar, if you will.)

6. Xaden Liarson I see your point about the note, and maybe I'm deranged, but I do actually just think he's lying. I don't think he's stupid enough to think she won't come looking for him at this point. He knows her too well for that. I think the "don't come looking for me" or whatever it is is a cover up for everyone else who thinks he betrayed Tyrrendor. Also, it slows her down! I am certain she'll look for him eventually (peep her broken compass from the god of luck, anyone?), but the note + the memory wiping make it so she can't immediately go looking for him. I think that's the point of it, not that she never looks for him again.

To conclude this literal essay, I think they're still together romantically because of Riorgail's most up-to-date characterization on their own and dynamic together, as well as who Rebecca is as a writer. I actually could probably write another essay on this, and I probably will in the other ask, but if there's anything else, let me know!! I need to bleed this book out of me so I can be normal again. But even if they are "broken up", it doesn't matter long term. The five book series WILL end with them together. That's how romantasy works. Xaden isn't dying. Violet isn't dying. Everyone else is fair game, but those two are fine, LOL.

Also, you are SO welcome for fic, always. I am not a fluff girly, unfortunately. I don't really write it in general, but we'll see if I get possessed. I do have a girl dad Xaden fic in the works (in which I have to re-work their wedding....) and I have some new smut ideas I want to write sometime soon! I think that will scratch the itch for me, anyway! As I've mentioned throughout this post, my hangover cure of choice has been to dive right back into Onyx Storm again, and I honestly think that was the best idea for me. I didn't do that after Iron Flame because I thought it was somehow "bad" to do so, and then I just longed for these characters for months. But, you do you! I wanted to make a masterpost of my hangover cure recs, but we'll see if I ever get to it. If you've read this far I am personally giving you a virtual gold star.

[alacants]

The source of those rumors is a guy from Carlos's family's tennis club who is close to Kiko Navarro & knows some members of Carlos's team & is a regular collaborator with Punto de Break. According to him (he's said this before) Carlos & Juanki had a significant fight towards the end of 2023. But the claim that they nearly split up back then came from someone else who's less reliable.

As for 2025, the first guy says Carlos's dad has apparently not been happy with what Juanki is doing for a while... but it seems like Carlos doesn't agree. If things don't turn around after clay season his family might push for changes to the team.

From my perspective it's hard to understand the coaching strategy sometimes. Like you said Juanki's strength is not tactics but it seems like that's what Carlos really needs. This is just one example but I think it's crazy that he sat on court in silence for three sets without suggesting Carlos change his return position v Djokovic - Carlos eventually figured it out... in the last game of the match. And that was honestly the main factor in him losing. You could argue Juanki wanted him to figure it out himself but why on earth did they not discuss that beforehand when it also cost him massively at the Olympics (which Carlos said he didn't even think about before the match?)

I know Juanki's whole thing is treating team like family but there are a lot top coaches who say that after 5ish years a coach has nothing to give a player anymore & I wonder if their partnership has run its natural course. Carlos doesn't seem any more tactically equipped than he was two years ago & his technicals have mostly not improved either (return... backhand...).

thanks for this background - after replying to some earlier asks i dug around and saw some folks citing punto de break but not any specifics so this is appreciated. this does immediately increase the credibility to me bc i know pdb values their access and would not jeopardize it for nothing lmao. tho if it's like, a guy who sometimes writes for them and is mostly posting on his own time... i guess that's somewhere in the middle. (btw i still haven't seen anything other than reports of reports of reports? if you've got links i would very much appreciate them!)

as usual i think we're looking at two questions here: could carlos benefit from a different coach, and does carlos want a different coach.

i think we are all in agreement that for carlos to continue to develop as a player he needs something he's not getting at the moment, whether we're thinking in terms of incorporating a new addition to the team or making a wholesale switch. and i don't disagree with you at all about the natural lifespan of a coaching relationship. i've cited this before in discussions of juanki's own career (stuck with one guy; was it a mistake?) and of ferru's (split but waited too long; chalked the delay up to personal feelings).

but as long as it's presented to carlos as an all-or-nothing choice i don't think he's there yet and i would not be surprised to find out that his recent post-match declarations were a message. (tbc it very much MIGHT be an all-or-nothing choice, regulars here know i have plenty of thoughts about the academy lmao.)

the thing is that at this point the unknowns are still really, really risky. if you've had the same coach for most of your teen/adult years and you're ready to strike out and try something new, then that's exciting and stimulating and you're in a good place to make the best of it. but if you're dragging your feet? if you feel like you've been pushed? maybe someone else could give you more, but you have to be ready to receive it, you know? if you're an environment that you know enables you overall to perform at a high level (4 grand slams), where you feel overall confident and supported even if you're lacking direction in some big matches, where you get value from your coach's presence above and beyond the specifics of tennis--it is inherently going to be a risk to make a big change and if you're not all in on doing so the risks will be even more likely to find you.

that's why i keep saying is that i don't see it happening unless carlos' results gets much worse than this--or, potentially, unless a voice that holds as much weight with him as juanki's (so, his dad) gets strong enough that he listens to it. that might be where we're headed!

(incidentally i have feinted at this without saying so explicitly, but there is an unbelievable amount of money riding on carlos' success or lack thereof--i don't mean prize money, i mean his brand as a star--and it would be naive to pretend that's not a factor in decision-making. that's one of the reasons i've pointed to a sustained slump, rather than one or two disappointing slams. when the results start to affect the brand.)

just talked this over with friend who compared the ideal set-up to darren/simone for jannik--supervisory coach + tactical/court coach. if so, then the question is whether they come to that same conclusion and get the set-up in place before the decision is out of their hands, so to speak.

[theworldofotps]

Forgotten Birthday (Drabble)

Pairing: Bayley x OC Bri Word Count 645 Description: Bri thinks Bayley forgot her birthday.

Wishing the happiest birthday to one of the best friends a person could have. @madhatterbri having you in my life this past year has truly been an adventure. I hope you get all you wish for, and that this next year is amazing because you deserve nothing less than the best. I love you bunches _______ Tag list: @omg-im-such-a-masochist​ @melissahausen​ @new-zealand-chic​ @writtingrose​ @99hook @madhatterbri  @sassymox​ @mrsacklesevansmgk​ @xladyxfatex​ @adamcolesbaybay @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch​ @demonqueen29​ @itsicantbelievethis666​ @lilred91​ @rebellious-desires​ @surdelcielo @letsgivethisonemoreshot @ava-valerie​ @shortyiceheart​ @serpantscorpio8497​ @thatpanpal​ @wrestlersownmyheart​ @vebner37​​ @seeingstarks​ @whenimakeitshine1234​ @legit9thlunaticwarrior​ @blaquekitty​ @ironshamelessyouth​ @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin​ @ripleyswhore @moonrosekk @xbreezymeadowsx @terrortwinunicorn @alyyaanna  @elevennbloom @melblacc @alliwant456  @mcreignsera @auburnwrites​ @aews-four-pillars @thatnerdwriter​ @sjwrites22 If you wanna be added to the list lemme know. ______

Bayley had been acting strangely all day, and to say that Bri was a little disappointed was an understatement. Of course she knew her girlfriend was busy with work and all the traveling she did with WWE. Forgetting an anniversary was something a lot of people did but it was already mid morning and Bayley still hadn’t wished her a happy birthday yet. The small subtle hints that Bri tried to give were brushed off with vague replies or simple humming sounds. Bri had received countless texts and messages from friends wishing her a happy birthday, and yet the person who she wanted to hear it from the most was silent.

‘It’s going to be fine. I don't want to make her feel bad if she did forget but I also want her to know she forgot.’

She was torn on what to do, so she stayed quite hoping desperately that something would remind her girlfriend. By the time evening rolled around, Bri had resigned herself to the fact that Bayley must have genuinely forgotten. Bri tried her best to mask her disappointment, forcing a smile when Bayley mentioned something about dinner.

“Sure, whatever you feel like babe.”

She says sinking into the couch, while her girlfriend nodded and disappeared into the kitchen, mumbling something about calling in the order. A short while later Bayley returned and motioned for Bri to follow her. 

“Hey, could you come help me grab something from the patio?” 

Bri arched an eyebrow confused on what she could be getting from outside when she had been ordering dinner

“What is it?”

“It’s just… heavy.”

Bayley said, fidgeting with the ends of her shirt and winked at her girlfriend.

“C’mon, you’re always saying how much stronger you are than me. Well here is your chance to prove that.”

With a sigh, Bri got up and followed her through the house. The only sound was their footsteps as they walked. Bayley pushed the door open and stepped aside, motioning for Bri to walk out first. The patio was dark which was unusual since the lights should have turned on by now.

“Hold on baby let me get the lights.”

Bayley flicked a switch and a chorus of voices yelled out “Surprise!”

Bri’s eyes widened as she took in the scene before her, the patio had been transformed into a cozy celebration space. Streamers and balloons in her favorite colors hung from the roof twirling around posts. A small table was covered with snacks, cupcakes, and a couple of neatly wrapped gift boxes. At the center of the table was a cake that read, ‘Happy Birthday, Bri!’ in elegant frosting.

Bayley stood behind her with a proud grin, holding a party hat in her hands then stepped forward placing it on her girlfriend’s head.

“Did you really think I forgot?” 

She teased putting her own hat on and kissing Bri’s forehead gently as their friends began gathering around.

Bri turned to her, her voice soft a light blush covering her cheeks.

“I… I honestly did. You were so quiet about it.”

“That’s because I didn’t want you to suspect anything babe, you’re the most important person in my life. How could I ever forget your birthday?”

Bri felt a lump rise in her throat, her earlier disappointment melting away into pure joy. She laughed, shaking her head in amusement as she looked at the woman before her.

“You’re sneaky, you know that?”

“I prefer ‘thoughtful.”

Bayley quipped, pulling her into a warm hug pressing another tender kiss to her head. The rest of the evening was filled with laughter, shared memories, and stolen kisses. Bayley’s small surprise turned out to be perfect—intimate and heartfelt, just like their relationship. As Bri blew out the candles on her cake, she made a wish that every year with Bayley would be just as magical as this one.

[newsfromstolenland]

I do think it's wild when white people use "amerikkka" or "kkkanada" when they're getting mad at a person of colour who lives there, in like an attempt to say that the POC here are to blame for it...like yeah man, it's racist here. it makes my life really hard. sick burn?

I've had this directed at me a couple of times, but I think it's especially fucked up when it's directed at a Black person. how are you gonna blame Black people for the kkk and think that makes you progressive??

I don't think I'm describing what happens super well so I'll give an example of one of the times this was directed at me. I made a post talking about racism in europe, and a white european replied "says the person from kkkanada, maybe focus on your own country" or something along those lines

like bitch...are you under the impression that people of colour in canada and the usa are part of the kkk rather than targets of them and other white supremacist groups?? are you stupid? how tf are you gonna make it sound like it's my fault that people are racist to me??

and then yesterday I saw a post where a Black person had been called "amerikkkan" by a white person which is significantly more fucked than it being directed at me (a non-Black POC). invoking the kkk to make fun of a Black person in the us is pretty clearly fucked up

it's just....who do you think the kkk targets?????? not your white european ass!! their main target is Black people in the united states, and you have no right to lump Black people in with white supremacists

the problem with the idea that europeans hold of the states (and sometimes- though less often- canada) is that they paint everyone with a broad brush as long as the image they're painting feeds their superiority complex

they don't bring up the kkk because they care about racism or people of colour. they bring it up because it makes them feel superior and allows them to pretend like racism is an exclusively north american phenomenon that they can't possibly also be perpetrators of. how could they possibly be racist? they're not usamerican! (and don't get me wrong, white canadians absolutely fucking do this shit too. it's the whole "we're so much better than the states. what legacy of racism and colonialism? we don't have that here!" mentality)

if they actually cared about the harm caused by white supremacist groups like the kkk, they sure as shit wouldn't be invoking them as a gotcha against people of colour on the internet

for europeans (and canadians), invoking the kkk is all about them feeling superior. and that sense of superiority is a hell of a lot closer to white supremacy than existing as a person of colour in the states or canada is

[quiet-admirer]

What you wrote about the shift in the online definition of feedism is interesting to me! I was exploring the online scene during that time (2011), too, and I feel a bit the same and a bit opposite. I saw “feedism” being used as a catchall term that folks lumped everything involving eating or gaining weight under. Stuffing and bloating were included under “feedism.” Even vore was occasionally under that umbrella.

I think now I see it as similar to the label of “queer” vs more specific labels within the queer identity. Queer itself can be an identity or an umbrella term. Like feedism can be a kink in its own right, or an umbrella term for other kinks. I hope this makes sense.

Sorry for sitting on this ask for ages, I was trying to find a few sources I *know* I have read with different definitions of fat fetish related terms, and I was curious to look back and them and see what they said. One was an older webpage and one a 2010s-ish? webzine, I believe, with like infographics and everything, but for the fucking life of me I cannot find them!

That's interesting, though! I agree, I have definitely heard feedism used as an umbrella term for as long as I've known it, I just don't think it was as common back in the day in my memory. It was (/is?) my impression that people who weren't as invested in the nitty-gritty of various terms used a looser definition, kind of like people now who don't distinguish between "feedism" and "feederism".

But with all of this kind of stuff I can never tell what might have been representative of the communities at large and what might have been a reflection of the specific slice of the Internet I happened to be exposed to, so who knows. The way feedism was always explained to me when I was learning about it was a feeding dynamic 🤷‍♂️ That's more useful for me personally but I don't make the rules about how other people want to identify, and I've kind of started seeing in the past year or 2 that if I really cared enough to make it a battle it would be a losing one lol, all the youths seem to be using it as an umbrella term to mostly mean weight gain kink at this point. I also may be 100% wrong and just made up the definition in my head without realizing it back in the day and have run with it for years!

I do think that it's worth being very intentional about how terms are defined and used in formal or academically-minded writing about ourselves, though, and making sure we're acknowledging the nuances in how the term is used, and I think my points I made in my reply to the post we're referencing still stand.

I once read a line in a paper or article or something that expressed the opinion that after so much research done on BDSM over the decades on what BDSM, what engaging in fetish dynamics and acts "means", the most solid conclusion that can be drawn is that the BDSM community are the worst people to ask about what BDSM means because nobody fucking knows and there is 0 consensus lol. I imagine it would be similar for our side of the tracks, too, there's a lot of variation and diversity among us.

What I really wish could happen is getting a huge sample of free-text submissions of terminology definitions from people in the fat/feeding/weight gain fetish realms just to see what everyone's similarities and differences were!

(and this is why we need to document and preserve and archive our shit, it sucks that it's so hard to go back and compare how we were defining ourselves in the past!)

[dreaming-of-mogai]

Hi there! Mod Pink Diamond here!

I just want to say something i think is important since i have seen more posts about the topics lately, especially since both kind of apply to us.

First of all before i even begin i want to thank everyone so much for following and sticking around despite us not posting much lately, its really kind and i appreciate the support and hard work everyone is doing.

Anyways! Lets begin.

First topic: No energy / spoons / creativity etc.

I think a lot of mogai ( now liom and qai (?) Creators who pump out flags every day or almost every day are amazing and i genuinely appreciate their hard work and creativity.

But i think its also put a lot of pressure onto those who are low/no spooned, not a lot of time, etc due to whatever reason, that they too must put out a lot of work so they can be noticed, and thats just not right.

For most people / creatures like me, Flag creating is just a hobby, another type of art. Its not a job and I'm not being paid for it. It can come with a great deal of pressure or anxiety when it comes to be too much or no longer a fixation or even just when theres too many requests ( which by the way, "too many" can mean two requests, not a hundred ).

People / Creatures do not owe anyone requests or time. I get its fun seeing new content all the time but if you want something sometimes waiting is better for both you and the creator !!!

And no no, don't get me wrong, I'm not gonna be one of those posts that say "Theres too many posts about the same term!!!!!" No i enjoy the multiple options of "cakes".

This is a reminder for mogai / liom / qai creators that it is okay to take breaks, long or short. Its okay to not do a request for a long time. Its okay to not take requests often. Its okay to not post every day. Its okay to not have spoons for ID too by the way. There are blogs who will help you and you can always edit it in when you do feel like it.

Second topic: aesthetic blogs.

I know we may kinda fall under that, but i want to explain something. I notice a lot of blogs who don't have an aesthetic ( reply icons, a fancy pinned post, pretty set up etc ) get lost in the wind for those who do, whether they make content every day or not, whether they have id or not.

And that isn't really fair, you know? People who don't have super aesthetic or the cutesy / kawaii / anime aesthetic can make just as great content as those who do!

This is NOT a bash on those who have an aesthetic blog, not one bit! I just think those who don't have or want an aesthetic blog should get more attention.

Thank you for reading, have a good time zone my crystal gems! - Mod Pink Diamond

[remastered-feedback]

Like many other “TikTok refugees,” as they’re called on RedNote, Jewish creators posted excitedly to RedNote, introducing themselves and their content to a new audience. “Chinese don’t like the Jewish, you should know,” read one typical comment, replying to a rabbi. “You Jewish sow should leave here. We Chinese don’t like you,” read another, on a video made by a child who appeared to be around age 10.

If you search for Jewish topics on RedNote, some of the top posts encourage users to discuss their “most offensive topics” because “unlike the United States, China has the advantage in free speech for the Jewish Question.” Images of Hitler in traditional Chinese robes pop up. Conspiracy theories about Jewish control of the internet circulate freely. In one post, a user asserted falsely that Jews, in a search for cultural dominance, feared the proliferation of “Eastern values.” Nazi propaganda made similar claims about Jews seeking to eradicate Western Christian and German values.

While I am disappointed, if I'm being totally honest I'm not that surprised. The Chinese government officially recognizes Christianity and Islam, to the point of having specific recognitions of both Catholicism and Protestantism each individually, but rejected recognition of Judaism in the 1950s out of fear it would lead to Chinese Jews requesting "special privileges." To be clear I'm not saying it's bad that they recognize those religions, but it feels kind of antisemitic to acknowledge and respect the religions that came after Judaism and used its texts, but refuse to do so for Judaism itself because you're afraid it might mean you have to make concessions to your Jewish citizens. And of course as the excerpt highlighted, the same way that Europe and the Americas portrayed Jews as untrustworthy communists undermining the west and capitalism, a lot of communist countries during the Cold War portrayed Jews as untrustworthy capitalists undermining the east and communism.

To be 100% clear since this is The Piss On The Poor Website™, I'm not saying that Chinese people or Chinese citizens are inherently antisemitic, or that Jews can't or shouldn't engage with Chinese culture and people or vice versa in a healthy, mutually positive fashion, or any other similarly sinophobic sentiments. Nor am I saying that western social media doesn't have an antisemitism problem, because it definitely does when even the most innocuous videos that relate to Jewish culture get absolutely abhorrent comments.

What I am saying is that unlike TikTok being designed for a global audience, RedNote is specifically designed for the Chinese market, so has the regulations and restrictions and stances of that government in-mind, and there is a clear, observable historical tendency for the Chinese government's attitudes towards Jews and Judaism, both amongst its own citizens and abroad, to range somewhere between "Annoyed with them existing" and "Actively hostile toward them," so if your app and community are built with that in-mind, it is going to be uniquely predisposed to giving antisemitism a blind eye, and when we talk about the cultural exchange going on with it, we should probably also acknowledge the communities that are being actively shut out of that exchange.

Don’t let the preview image fool you. RedNote is antisemitic in an absolute way, not just in an I/P way. It’s… something else

[cozylittleartblog]

idk if I've said it before, but your portrayals of both Rouxls and Queen are among my favorites, and the way they are when you combine the two is the sole thing that got me to say "yes" to queenkaard. When I first saw it in the game and it started catching on as a ship, I was like "nooo I hc him as gay," but then after seeing your stuff I was like "oh nvm I totally see this now."

i think hearing "i didn't see this ship before, but after your art i understand it and/or even ship it myself" is one of the nicest compliments i get, because it makes me feel like i'm representing something meaningful and sweet about a pairing and having people understand what i think is so great and captivating about them. i've gotten a couple asks like this and sometimes i forget to respond but i always really appreciate them :) thank you very much

[ink-the-artist]

why even engage with a terf, even jokingly, sarcastically, or to dunk on them? its just giving them a reaction and attention, thats all they want. i would say to block and report but reporting wont do shit, but still, why not just block and move on?

cuz its funny

[suntails]

I’m going to paint you a picture of modern communication, and how it is fundamentally broken.

Let’s look at one friend. You chat pretty much everyday, and mostly talk to this person on twitter and discord, with occasional tumblr DMs. That’s three places you talk. But that’s actually not true, because you also have each other’s priv twitters and talk there as well. That’s four. Now account for, let’s say, one post reply per account per person, in addition to your DMs. That’s eight. But that’s ALSO not true, because not only do you talk in discord DMs with each other, but you’re in a friend group server as well! And you talk in those channels together! That’s nine.

This is one friend.

Now look around you. How many friends, how many mutuals are you in contact with. A few, a handful, a dozen, more? How many accounts per person do you have, how many places can you send each other posts, devolve into separate topics and conversations? How many people text you as well. Friends, family, coworkers? What do you do day to day around catching up, what IRL commitments will rip you away long enough to let the pile build again?

I can’t do it. I cannot live an actual life in the real world and balance this much interaction, it’s crushing. I reply to a friend’s post because I’m interested in the subject, I want to have a discussion! I WANT to talk about it with them, but I immediately kick myself for adding another conversation to the pile. Day by day, I ignore messages for hours on end and watch mountains pile around me, to reply en masse at the end of the night to let the cycle repeat. I wake up to six discord DMs and as I clear the third, the first replies back again.

We weren’t meant to have thirty simultaneous conversations. We weren’t. And you know in your bones that the number isn’t an exaggeration.

[hologramcowboy]

Sorry for replying so late. I too am clueless about the anti Jensen tag for the most part because I never browse it. I don’t have it blocked so sometimes I happen upon anti Jensen posts but most are just people being critical. Not even sure why they are labelled “anti Jensen”. Aside from the fact that we’re not meant to be liked by everyone and we each have our share of haters and supporters.

However, there are some aspects of Jensen that came out after the prequel mess that rubbed people the wrong way. Especially since the SPN legacy was stained by his production.

Even his interrogation after the Rust incident revealed a Jensen no one was expecting. He spoke badly of the crew and even revealed all he had as a producer was a vanity title and that his wife failed to support him during the Rust incident.

Showing up stoned and drunk on Michael Rosebaum’s podcast and calling Jessica Alba the b word and basically throwing Jared under the bus with his comments about him.

Making comments that seem passive aggressive towards his own wife.

Then there’s Danneel eternally reflecting poorly on Jensen through her behavior, she also reveals he is not as he wants to seem.

Just a couple of examples. Jensen isn’t perfect and lately he’s been revealing himself to be completely different than what he branded himself as so that naturally leads to mistrust.

That being said, a whole lot of it is Jensen people feeding resentment and hatred over the prequel mess still or over the fact that Misha isn’t Jensen’s boyfriend. Those people will grab on to any little reason to hate on him, twisting him into some sort of monster. No one is perfect and we can have many reasons for disliking someone but those reasons should never end up running us into sheer hatred. The people who overly hate on Jensen are no different than the people who send Jared death threats. None of them has done anything to warrant such high levels of hate. They are both human beings, living and learning along the way just like any of us. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes. I can get being critical of someone, I do it all the time, and I can get gut feelings (always follow them) but there is a huge difference between disagreeing with something someone has done and full on hating someone. The world is full of so many awful situations, why use fandom to create an endless circle of hate and aggression? Why not let it be an escape?

I find Jensen to be completely different than what I expected but I don’t hate him, I simply learn about who he is and make choices accordingly. I follow my gut and I follow facts. The trouble is some people have lost perspective to the point of demonizing both Jared and Jensen. So my advice to you, anon, since you seem like a very grounded person, is to do your own research and form your own opinions based on the facts you find. Don’t get lost in other people’s dogma. Create your own perceptions and share them with like minded people. But most of all, don’t waste a second of your precious life on fandom drama, with all that’s happening in the world, fandom should be a way to escape and find fun not stress.

Hi Nancy,

I hope it's okay I turn to you with this, but I just recently joined spn tumblr so I haven't really discovered many blogs I share my opinions with yet (though I did find some awesome blogs I'm excited to follow, but most of them only really talk about spn and the characters and not the actors, and this ask is concerned with j2m and danneel). Buckle up, this will be long because I tend to over-explain myself. Sorry in advance.

So I've been in the fandom since 2018 but haven't really paid attention to the cast other than watching some gag reels/bloopers, interviews with j2(m) and clips from cons. I never dug deep into the relationships/dynamics of the cast members (and also took like a 3-year break from the fandom so I'm not at all up-to-date)

I like to think I'm pretty good at reading people (in that when I find someone likeable they tend to prove themselves to be a good person and when I dislike someone seemingly for no reason I usually discover some pretty fucked up things about that person later on. Obviously with celebrities you never actually know what they are like irl but so far I've been right about people as far as I know.)

All this to say that I had an inkling about misha from the start, even though I never cared enough to do my research and justify my dislike towards him. I always got this pick me vibe from him, and like he's trying to insert himself into the j2 friendship to seem more relevant and likeable. And it seemed pretty clear to me that he is clinging to jensen and making it look like they are besties, ignoring jared or making him look bad as much as he can get away with only to fuel destiehellers in their belief that jensen also supports destiel and that jared is to blame for it not being canon. I've since found your masterpost about why you're anti misha, and finally feel justified in my feelings towards him, so thank you for collecting his shitty displays in one place.

So what my ask is about (getting to my point at last) is that in my browsing the anti misha tags I came across the anti danneel tag and decided to check it out out of curiosity (and arrogance, as I wanted to see if I was right about danneel as well, since I always got a bad vibe from her too (even though I never actually paid attentionto her)). And I did find some things that makes me think her and jensen's relationship isn't a healthy one built on mutual love and respect, and is possibly even abusive. I'm inclined to believe it not only because of my own instinct, but because of a video I saw where jensen's body language screamed that he is uncomfortable while sitting next to danneel who was rubbing/petting his back (though I don't have context for that clip so there might be another explanation for his body language that I'm not aware of). However the only 'evidence' about her being abusive was instagram posts that were (slight) jabs at jensen, that could just as likely be playful teasing as actual bullying depending on their relationship dynamic and whether the teasing is reciprocated imo (& there's no way of knowing how they interact in private so who knows). I'd be curious to know if there are more concrete instances of her treating jensen badly or generally being a bad person, but I couldn't really find anything useful in the tags.

But anyways, reading these posts I discovered yet another anti tag, this time anti jensen, which I definitely did not expect. I obviously know about The Winchesters drama but I thought they moved past it and are tight again, so I'm confused about what other reason there is for people to be anti jensen. I've seen some posts discussing him not standing up for jared/not being very supportive of him, siding with misha (though I'm especially sceptical about that one) etc.

I would like to be better informed about these things without having to watch hours of footage to analyse their interactions or read through hundreds of posts that either have some proof or not, without having to decipher whether what someone says is their opinion/interpretation or actual things that happened. From looking through some of your posts you seem to be well informed and trustworthy, so I'd kindly ask if you could explain the situation to the best of your knowledge or refer me to someone who has more information regarding danneel and jensen's relationship as well as jensen and jared's and can provide receipts. Thank you so much, and again sorry for this super long ask <3

Hello my darling.❤️ Nothing to apologize for.

@lightofraye recently posted an awesome anti danneel post with pics and videos. HERE

As for anti Jensen, for me, the prequel mess is a done deal. J2 have moved on from it and are besties again. I have the 'anti jensen' tag blacklisted. I really don't see him picking misha over ANYONE, let alone Jared.

Maybe @its-sassyboots @hologramcowboy or @walkergirlsposts can help you with the anti Jensen stuff.

[rapidhighway]

Ahahaaaa oh my goddd can you not make "ADHD undereating" and "ADHD overeating" into a competition of who has it worse and who has nothing to complain about, that'd be awesome