#also i dont know if i can save lancelot

[botanicallyinclinednerd]

It was through working out the social implications of necromancy in a world where soulmates exist and how it would be even more taboo than canon, and any potential ways to get around that (because I'm trying to keep Lancelot around, dammit) when I remembered that Merlin fully dies a couple times throughout the show. And in a world where you can feel your soulmate die? The angst is unfolding and it's glorious

[bisclavret]

what SICKO wrote the last scenes between gwaine and merlin is what i want to know. because even lancelot's last episode with merlin - which had to have been intentionally gay-coded since it's obvious the man is grappling with his feelings for merlin morphing from platonic to explicitly romantic - is still subtext because he doesn't have the tools to healthily express his feelings so he goes for the biggest romantic gesture he can think of: sacrificing his life to save a loved one. the writers also make sure to root this gesture back to gwen by adding a scene where she's inadvertently asking him to make that sacrifice first, so although it's very obvious that it's more for merlin than for gwen that lancelot dies for, she is there to add some plausible deniability, thus keeping his sexuality within the realms of subtext.

i don't want to delve too deeply into arthur's last scenes with merlin as there is both so much to unpack about what they mean to each other and there is also somehow nothing left to say that hasn't been said before. my point is just that there's so much at stake that if the viewer doesn't want to deal with the romantic subtext between them they can hang onto the 38 other dynamics merlin and arthur have represented to each other that the writers spent 5 years plastering on top of the gay subtext. basically, while the romance feels textual emotionally-speaking, it isn't "canon".

i don't mean to say that any relationship is better than another (even though i obviously have a preference) but that in gwaine's final scenes with merlin there's just no subtext anymore. his becomes the most explicit expression of romantic love towards merlin, and therefore the most explicit acknowledgment of homosexual love and the existence of queer people on the show:

it starts out with merlin suggesting that gwaine saved a girl from the saxons and then looked after her because he has a more than platonic interest in her, and they show us that merlin is right - gwaine and the girl eira slept together - even as gwaine half-heartedly denies any interest (which, why even deny it? merlin saw them holding hands! unless the lie is part of the point). then in that very same scene and directly after this exchange, merlin needs rescuing from the saxons, calls after gwaine, and gwaine performs the exact same role for him that he performed for eira: he saves him from the saxons and looks after him (for as long as merlin lets him).

the parallel between merlin and eira with such quick cause and effect (it literally all happens within the same minute) is where the shift from subtext to text becomes undeniable. yes, there have been other moments on the show where a character's affections towards two different genders are beat-for-beat the same, but, again, there has always been plausible deniability. in this case the parallel is meant to be taken at face value: the core point of it is to show us how gwaine expresses his attraction.

then, the dialogue they chose to bookend this scene with takes it a few steps further by functioning as a textual love confession to merlin himself: the scene opens with gwaine thanking merlin for everything he did for eira, and merlin saying that there is no need to thank him as it was the least he could do. a minute later, after merlin thanks gwaine for protecting him from the saxons as both merlin and the show just concluded gwaine did for eira for romantic reasons (even as he denied it by outright lying), gwaine parrots what merlin said when gwaine thanked him: no need to thank me, merlin, it's the least i could do.

but this comes off as the opposite of dismissive: in fact, this echoing of merlin's words is meant to jolt both merlin and the audience. by saying this right after saving merlin from the saxons, gwaine has now intentionally pointed merlin's attention towards the explicitly romantic parallel between himself and eira. gwaine is directly implying he just did for merlin what merlin correctly deduced he did for a woman because he desired her sexually and romantically, and he is using merlin's own words to challenge him into seeing past the initial flimsy lie that there is nothing between them. and what's behind the lie, of course, is that gwaine has done all of this and more because he desires merlin sexually and romantically. the camera even lingers on merlin, allowing him and the viewer to absorb what just happened. that for as long as we have known gwaine, his motivations have always boiled down to "i want to be there for merlin". and now both the audience and merlin finally know for sure what was motivating him the entire time.

what's more, by using merlin's own dismissive words, gwaine also implicates merlin's penchant for repression and denial and never allowing himself to be given credit where it's due. this unfortunately never properly gets dismantled on the show, but this moment shows that gwaine knows merlin well enough to know that he goes above and beyond for people, and that merlin's reasons for this ring as false to gwaine's ears as gwaine's reasons for saving damsels do to merlin. it also bittersweetly implies that gwaine has accepted that these are the platonic, repressed terms on which he can have a relationship with merlin. but i think the way in which he explicitly points all of this out to merlin is meant to imply that he isn't entirely happy about having to accept that. or, to circle back to eira, that merlin seems to be cheering for him to enter a heterosexual relationship when gwaine would clearly rather be with him.

what's additionally interesting to me about this is that this is one of the only scenes on this show that touch on same gender attraction that isn't using magic as a metaphor - because merlin doesn't have magic at the moment, yes, but also because gwaine is the more active character in this sequence, and he's an adventure hero, so he simply fights the bad guy to protect the person he loves. there is no metaphor to wrap this in, so he just gets to explicitly state his bisexuality. in the next scene, the very last one he and merlin share, it all becomes about magic again, which is both representative of merlin's sexuality and the show's "plausible deniability" approach to gay-coding, and so neither gwaine or merlin are permitted to acknowledge it. also, and this is for another post altogether, but all things point to "gwaine knew". not least because he gets to come out as queer without the complications of the magic-as-gay-metaphor which in turn emboldens him to ask merlin for the truth as directly as the metaphor-suffocated narrative will allow it.

tldr gwaine textually and canonically expresses and then confesses his feelings to merlin in a shockingly well-written and layered scene which makes gwaine the most explicitly queer character on bbc merlin and it's entirely because he exists outside the magic-as-gay-metaphor plot while loving someone who embodies that entire metaphor and it's crazy to me that we don't talk about this more. once again i ask what SICKO wrote this and where were they for the entire rest of this fucking show

tldrtldr at least gwaine is bi. its like i always say. at least gwaine is bi. at the end of the day. gwaine is bi. dont cry ok? gwaine is bi. at the end of the day. gwaine is bi. when all else fails. gwaine is bi. we'll always have. gwaine is bi

[merlincersei]

Merlin BBC UK TV Show - Opinion Piece Part 23 - Who Is Arthur Really Talking About In This Scene?

Time and again when I revisit this particular scene between Arthur and Merlin (referenced below) I can't help but notice how much "Merthur" has been implicitly queer coded in this show.

______________________________________________________________

The scene I am talking about is in the Season 2 Episode 4 titled "Lancelot and Guinevere" .

This episode can be summarized as follows:

Gwen is mistaken for Morgana and is kidnapped by Hengist. Uther refuses to pay the ransom or send a rescue party to save a servant. Arthur defies his father and sets out with Merlin to rescue Gwen. ______________________________________________________________

After Arthur and Merlin escape from the Wilddeoren, they have the following scene:

While the casual viewer will look at this scene and state it is Arthur confessing his love for Gwen, however LISTEN CAREFULLY TO WHAT THEME PLAYS FROM 0:55 SECONDS ONWARDS IN THE BACKGROUND OF THIS SCENE.

The theme it plays is Merlin's Arrival to Camelot:

Now ask youself why would the show put in "Merlin's Arrival to Camelot" theme in the background of a scene where Arthur is confessing his love for Gwen?

Especially when Arthur and Gwen already have a theme song called Gwen & Arthur Romance Suite.

Shockingly, the Gwen & Arthur Romance Suite is actually played in the background of a scene between Gwen and Lancelot when they kiss for the first time and Gwen states " As long as I live, my feelings for you will never fade."

Refer scene at 1:22 in the clip below:

____________________________________________________________

Going back to the scene between Merlin and Arthur, dont you think Arthur's description of Gwen can also be used for Merlin.

[EXT. FOREST, STREAM – DAY] [Arthur and Merlin wash off the Gaia berries by a stream.]

ARTHUR Gaia berries worked. Huh.

MERLIN You didn't know if they worked?

ARTHUR Not for sure.

MERLIN Now you tell me?! Oh! Oh, what's that Wildren eating? It's all right. It's just Merlin. You trying to get us both killed?

ARTHUR I'm sorry. I shouldn't've risked your life like that.

MERLIN Well, they do say love makes you do strange things.

ARTHUR What are you talking about?

MERLIN Why can't you just admit your feelings for Gwen?

[Arthur scoffs.]

MERLIN It's so obvious. A blind man could see it. Is it really that hard to admit you like her? Just say it. (MERLIN THEME STARTS TO PLAY)

ARTHUR I can't! How can I admit that I think about her all the time. Or that...I care about her more than anyone. How can I admit that...I don't know what I'll do if any harm comes to her?

(DID ARTHUR NOT RISK HIS OWN LIFE FOR MERLIN IN SEASON 1 EPISODE 4 THE POISONED CHALICE.

DID ARTHUR NOT FOLLOW MERLIN TO EALDOR IN SEASON 1 EPISODE 10 THE MOMENT OF TRUTH FOR A MERE SERVANT)

MERLIN Why can't you?

ARTHUR Because nothing can ever happen between us! (HOW TRUE! BBC SIMPLY WOULD NOT HAVE ALLOWED MERTHUR TO HAPPEN!) To admit my feelings knowing that...hurts too much.

MERLIN Who's to say nothing can happen?

ARTHUR My father won't let me rescue a servant. Do you honestly believe he'd let me marry one?

(IN SEASON 1 EPISODE 4 THE POISONED CHALICE. UTHER FORBADE ARTHUR TO RESCUE MERLIN AND EVEN HAD HIM IMPRISONED WHEN HE BROUGHT BACK THE CURE FOR MERLIN)

MERLIN You want to marry Gwen?

ARTHUR No! No...I...I don't know...It's all talk, and that's all it can ever be.

MERLIN When you're King, you can change that.

ARTHUR I can't expect Guinevere to wait for me.

MERLIN If she feels as you do, she'll wait for you.

(IN THE END OF THE SERIES, IT IS MERLIN WHO HAS BEEN WAITING FOR ARTHUR FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS!!)

ARTHUR We don't even know if she's still alive.

MERLIN No, she is. We will find her.

ARTHUR Come on. We've got a long trek ahead. Oh, and Merlin...if you dare tell anyone about this, I promise I will make your life a living hell.

MERLIN You mean, more than you already do?

ARTHUR Yeah.

MERLIN We could talk about your feelings while you walk.

ARTHUR Shut up, Merlin.

______________________________________________________________

I also managed to get a snapshot of a commentary Bradley James and Colin Morgan did for this particular episode and it is available on the DVD. Bradley's commentary is indeed very telling.

I REST MY CASE !!!

[multifandombullshitbabes]

21

24

27

And

30

LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

thank you so much, I shall answer these prompts NEOW

21: Fics you wish you could find more of?

Oooohhh more fics involving Gwen, that's for sure. When she's written right she's one of the strongest, most relatable characters imo, 'cause all she wants is for the world to be right and just and kind and everything wants to prove her wrong, but she won't back down from her views. I would also adore more Elyan, just in general. And complete rewrites of the show 'cause the one I'm reading right now is so good I might do one as well. Also modern au's where they're all like secret badass spies or smth, 'cause those are so fucking cool (i am accepting fic recs for ALL of this, please feed me y'all)

24: Everyone knows that fandom doesn’t like uther but what are your feelings about gaius?

I think 1) we need more concrete info about how he was when he was younger, but 2) i think he is severely complicated and wanted what was best of merlin and morgana, but failed the two while also giving them a ton of love. With morgana, he just didnt want her to pursue her power lest she become uther's next victim, cuz gaius cares for the pendragon siblings like his own. With merlin, he was just trying his best with his overpowered nephew, who alos has a destiny regarding his people's genocide's son, and he just doesn't know what to do half the time, kinda like merlin. I didnt like how he lied to merlin n morgana, how he gaslit her and how he made merlin hide and become so anxious abt his magic (and we see what that looks like season 5), but i get it. I really get it. I dont know what i wouldve done if one wrong move could mean the death of two kids he considers his own. I bet he was scared all the time and hated himself for it.

27: Modern Merlin headcanons, if any?

OH BOY. OHHHH BOY. So many. It really depends on what au i have for modern merlin, but I'll give you a few generals:

he's a teacher of sorts; i like the idea that he's kinda collecting magical anomalies and teaching them how to understand their powers and being, since he knows what its like to be afraid of urself, so he's a personal magic teacher. I also rly like my magic elementary school au, since its merlin teaching magic to a bunch of kids, which is adorable

he has officially one cat, a black one called Midnight, that accidentally became immortal along the way and now hes severally attached. I say officially since hes also friends with any other animal that he might come across and they recognise him if he passes them again. disney princess fr

he's figured out his gender and he can turn into a woman if he wants; she looks exactly like merlin, same height, same weight n muscles, the hair is longer cuz merlin likes it that way and her voice is deep and gorgeous

his favourite weapon is a staff or any long distance fighting weapon of the sort; also he looks cool as fuck fighting with it, but thats just a bonus

I'll stop here but i have SO MANY MORE

30: Side character death that makes you the maddest?

Elyan. There was, quite literally, no need for it. I was gonna say Lancelot, since we did not get enough of him, but his death made sense for his character. Elyan? What the fuck was that? It was just for pain and nothing else. What did it add to the story if not just a sad funeral scene and thats it? It just felt like they wanted him gone n found a way, and that pisses me off. I feel like him saving gwen and living would've given such a complex situation when she turns evil, 'cause what if she "confides" more n more in her brother, creating a rift between arthur n elyan, which then creates a rift between arthur n the knights, which would just isolate him further n make him suffer, which is what morgana wanted!! we couldve had protective brother elyan! I think i just wanted more knights in general.

Thank you so much for this ask, I yapped a fuck ton but it was funn

[crows-home]

hey! i hope you don’t mind me asking, but do u have any fics you recommend reading? (specifically sonic fandom ones)

im so sorry anon but im probably the worst when it comes to fic recs. I just started using the bookmark function on ao3 like last month. There's probably tons of fics that i've read and absolutely loved, but never saved and are just collecting dust in my history ToT

i'm going to shout out a few of my favorite authors whose works i absolutely adore and some fics under the cut!

There's definitely more authors and fics i missed, but this is what i was able to come up with!! in general, the sonic community is full of so much talent and i'm just really happy to be here :)

@cozyqueerchaos - I love every single piece they put out honestly and these fics are the reason i dipped my toes more into the sonic fandom years ago. they're THAT good. love them all.

@phantomruby - another wonderful fic writer that everyone should check out. "Slipping Away" makes me cry fr, although i haven't caught up on the latest updates. everything just makes my heart go oshfdsfhd

@chaoxfix - sonic fics are wonderful sonic takes are top notch i dig everything. the understanding of the characters and archie is just phenomenal.

@teamxdark - fell in love with the Tales of Avalon series and fell harder in love with the team dark Boomtober fics and dynamics and aaaaaa, wonderful writing and style.

@rubyiiiusions - every fic is a joy to read and every story really just gets your attention and keeps it till the end. i've bookmarked a few of them since last week :)

I went digging through my history and here are some of my personal favorite Sonic fics!

radio silence under a yellow sky by chaox Summary: Sonic finds out Tails is missing. And more importantly, that no one's been looking for him.

A gen fic about Sonic finding out Tails was MIA during Forces it's so so good i think about it a lot

falling by sonosuke Summary: Shadow likes a boy

sonadow during SA2 I'll cry. so angsty but it makes me :')

Birds of a Feather by SonicaSpeed123 Summary: Sonic has been trapped in Camelot for three years, but he's started to make a place for himself that he can finally be comfortable in with his beloved Lancelot Something has been bothering him, though: If all the people of this world look like the people back home, where is Sonic's lookalike?

Lansoni. Part of a series of SatBK mini fics that i really love, but this one especially because it answers the question of 'what about the Sonic doppleganger?'

you can hardly swallow your fears and pain by chaox and sketchjii Summary: Shadow is usually better at putting up that cold, unfeeling front, isn't he? Or maybe that's him. (or: sonic doesn't need to be in touch with his feelings if he pretends they don't exist in the first place)

One of my all time faves i love it so much i dont think i have the right words. shadow tries to give sonic mental health advice. it does not go well. takes place some time after Forces.

the time has come again for stars by rubyillusions Summary: (five times someone notices sonic and shadow are in love and one time they do something about it)

sonadow, Teen. obsessed with how the characters are written here and the way all of their friends interpret their relationship it's just so cute and sweet and shit and i love it a lot.

against every odd by eggskie Summary: "We're friends?" Nine asks, small and timid, and oh, doesn't that break Sonic's heart. "Of course we are. We always have been. Or we always should have been." Or: Nine isn't used to being cared about

wanna see how hard i can cry? Gen, Sonic Prime fic about sonic and tails and what they should have been.

Dreams Don't Come True by Skyblaze Summary: Short, mildly humorous fic with sonadow flavouring. It also takes the mickey extensively out of the Sonic the Hedgehog 2006 Next Gen game. Warning: not to be taken seriously.

This fic is just really silly i like it a lot :)

A largely platonic cave by mousewritings Summary: "You know I uh, love hanging out with you and all, but do you think we could go somewhere that's not a cave for once?" Shadow stares at him. "What do you mean, go somewhere that's not a cave? Think you're too good for caves?"

Sonic Boom Sonic and Shadow (pre-slash sonadow) my beloveds <3<3 this fic is so funny they're so insufferable

Also, uh. I know you said only Sonic fics but i'm going to add a few more fics that i really really love from different fandoms because i reread them a lot, i hope you don't mind! ^^

Our way by shpeeper Summary: Overall, the mission was pretty simple. Sniper was instructed to track the spy for a week, figure out his daily patterns, then put a bullet in his brain when no one is around. No one told him there would be a kid. An AU in which Spy raises Scout alone, and Sniper is hired to kill Spy.

Oh my fucking god i could go on about this fic. Sniperspy, Teen, TF2. filled with action and danger. Every time a new character would get introduced, i would have fun piecing together who they were in my mind. the first chapter already had me emotional, it's been in my brain for YEARS. And don't even get me STARTED with the twist at the end. holy shit.

Desmodontinae by Romiress Summary: Kirk wakes up in a Gotham that is not his own. A what-if, where Gods and Monsters Batman winds up in the DCU. Originally intended as a short oneshot, and expanded out into a small story, exploring the differences, struggles, and conclusions. Focuses primarily on Kirk Langstrom (G&M Batman), with a side or Hernan Guerra (G&M Superman), Damian Wayne, and Bruce Wayne. Guest appearances by various other Robins, Clark and Jon Kent, and several others.

The Gods and Monsters DC team means so much to me and oh my god this fic was made with so much love and care for the characters. It's been a while since i read it, but i remember this fic had me staying up literally all night, eagerly going through all the chapters, one at a time. i was in bed kicking my sheets quietly irl lmao.

[tiodolma]

Hello. I shall thank you for answering my ask. Regarding of the ask, look. I can't disagree with you on the Merlin and Morgana comparison because I haven't really focused on that. Same with the political stuff. However, I can't blame Merlin for keeping secrets from Arthur when the magic ban was still there, when Uther was alive and king and when Arthur was being manipulated by Agravaine (hence why he couldn't tell Arthur about the shade Lancelot thing). And even when Arthur was being an ass half the show (I wouldn't trust him either). I know that Merlin messed up really bad many times but still. He was also manipulated, like Morgana. And as you said, he wasn't allowed to have connections that could help him and trust issues can really affect a person.

But let me ask you something about BBC Merlin.

I want your opinion on certain characters. Here:

Arthur

Gwen

The Knights (collectively or individually)

Lancelot (he is a knight but I separated him for personal reason)

Killgarah

Gaius

And by opinion, I mean: the potential they could have if they stayed longer in the show, their relationship with Merlin, if some of them had a potential to change something in Camelot... you name it.

Also, an opinion on the Lancelot du Lac episode...

An opinion on Merthur, their relationship , not so much political stuff(Personally, I'm not really a big fan of it, and the whole "two sides of the same coin" doesn't really sound romantic because Merlin was willing to commit treason for a guy who saved his life and barely knew him (Lancelot). Personally, I am more of Merlin/Lancelot and you are more of Merlin/Morgana. But I won't really hate anyone who ships Merthur).

the potential they could have if they stayed longer in the show, their relationship with Merlin, if some of them had a potential to change something in Camelot… you name it.

Merlin: should have had a magic reveal, should have become an advisor for a short while then disappear from the story permanently while everybody moved on.

Arthur: should have conquered more lands. CONQUERED LANDS OKAY. He becomes a full fledged king even without merlin in the picture anymore. He's supposed to come into his own as a big political entity who can survive on his own. Arthurian stories are a british imperialistic fantasy, keep it that way. make him go to wars and assimilate more countries. dude's supposed to be an emperor. then he sits back and watch all his knights go on adventures and then when they come back they tell him things.

Lancelot: should have lived on and provided Merlin with the political backing that Merlin desperately needed

The Knights: More Adventures and wacky shenanigans

Guinevere: needs to cheat on arthur with lancelot.. COZ WHAT EVEN IS THE POINT OF ALL THIS

Kilgharrah: he roams free, and does what merlin tellls him to do

Gaius: needed to die because he is too conservative and is the enemy of progress

ON THE STATE OF MAGIC (you didnt ask for ths but i assume you expected something)

With how the story went, I dont know how merlin could have brought back magic as a whole tbh. He had killed all the major leaders of the sects or they had died protecting him and his secrets. There's no justice to be had even if he brings back some of the freedoms. To whom will magic be free anyway? Just for a selected group of druids loyal to him? How about the high priestesses? The sidhe? The ones who's specialty is black magic? Gaius taught him to oversee everybody without ever being in communication or dialogue with them. Merlin will just be a tyrant over all them and different sects will still rebel.

Morgana: she and merlin will realize that theyve been idiots all along and just agree to disagree. she and arthur reconcile and she brings him to avalon coz merlin is imprisoned somewhere forever as part of his penance.

.......

LANCELOT DU LAC EPISODE (s4x09)?

...i mean lancelot shouldn't have died so early in the first place

...arthur is no good

...the only winner is morgana coz her abducting lancelot for her schemes is part of thomas malory lore. and also yayy for necromancy!

....i've mentioned this before but it still makes no sense how morgana knew about the guinevere/lancelot sidestory

OPINION ON ME...RTH...UR?

...ok most of the posts on the anti-merthur and merthur-critical and arthur-critical and merlin-critical tumblr tags are mine. i have been pretty vocal and public about my disdain for the whole dynamic especially when i shipped it for a short while. There's a lot of wrong about it. pls just check those out first. thanks.

............

i cannot talk about the bbc merlin dynamics without politics tho. that's impossible because bbc merlin is a heavily political and idealogical character. politics is part of merlin's character framework.

personally in meta like this i steer away from mentioning "romance." The only thing "romantic" about the show is the idealization of "light" "dark" and "good" "evil" to the point of glorifying certain forms of extremism and demonizing others. It's so black and white it is almost christianity-coded (and well, quite faithful to the source materials).

[lilydvoratrelundar]

ok i saw the post u reblogged please tell me more abt bbc merlin im going insane here. like i study arthurian tropes and this show is out of LEFT FIELD... i know like five things. merlins a rockin twink, magic is illegal, dragons exist?? , gay???????? like so does merlin become arthurs sidekick/magic guardian angel protector/enemy/friend and then arthur fuckin dies via mordred (i assume they cut the incest plot? i hope??) and merlin just has to like.. wait... 1500 years... for him to like.. come back..?????? does he just Sit at the Lake. pls tell me im mistaken

its been a while since i last watched it but yeah basically an inexplicably english colin morgan shows up in camelot and is told Dont Cause Trouble and then saves arthurs life and is assigned as his manservant or something and also he finds a dragon voiced by john hurt locked in the basement and they have five seasons of mild gaying at each other around i think s3 merlin gets a potion that turns him into an old man and he starts doing magic shit out in the open as a wizard called Dragoon the Great who is basically their excuse to have him look like normal merlin. morgana is weird she's just kinda part of the court for Reasons that arent explained until her magic half sister shows up and is like hey you actually have a really convoluted backstory and basically ur arthurs half sister iirc which makes them flirting in the early episodes kinda weird but idk how much they planned out in advance. also morgana's developing powers in the early seasons is a big gay metaphor kinda sometimes but then they contradict that a bunch every so often. uhhhh what else. mordred is a little magic child who merlin helps smuggle out of the city i think ??? at one point. then he comes back in s4/5 i think ? and joins the knights of the round table i think they get a round table eventually anyway. then for Plot Reasons (because hes also secretly magic i think maybe i cant remember) he turns evil and goes to morgana and theres a big dramatic moment where he reveals that the old wizard she keeps fighting is actually merlin and morganas like woah and we the audience are like yeah he looks like merlin with a fake beard. shocking. also anthony head is there as the racist dad but then we're meant to feel sad when he dies for some reason. then again it is anthony head so i was sad that there wouldnt be any more anthony head. theres many plots of episods in the early show thats just "uther experiences consequences for that genocide he did". anyway at the end of the show theres a big battle and mordred stabs arthur and the last episode iirc is arthur and merlin going through the woods and talking as arthur slowly dies meanwhile gwaine and the other knights all probably die i cant really remember but im pretty sure gwaine dies needlessly anyway then arthur finally dies and john hurt dragon (who got freed and was evil in s2 and then still just showed up to give bad advice to merlin every so often through the rest of the show. his advice was usually murder.) gives a speech about how magic is dying SMASH CUT to a truck driving past its the present day and merlin is still chillin and he looks at the lake that he put arthurs body in. credits. also in like s4 theres that weird arc where lancelot gets resurrected as a zombie by morgana and theres mind control nonsense where gwen cheats on arthur with him or something and she maybe gets like banished for a bit ??? also the lady of the lake is merlins girlfriend who was a werewolf thing who then dies and her spirit exists in the pixie lake and then also just in all the water ? its weird. also something about merlin being the incarnation of all magic im pretty sure AND hes the last person who can control dragons by shouting really loud. what else oh yeah theres an episod where anthony head marries a troll

[lesbianmarrow]

i watched legends of tomorrow 5.03 “miss me, kiss me, love me” a couple days ago and then i watched it again today bc i just loved it so much!!!! solidly fun and entertaining episode that also sets up some of the plot junk and character arcs for this season. and the historical setting is so fun, they really make the most of it with the costumes and soundtrack and funny accents. this is what i want from a legends of tomorrow season premiere, and it took a few episodes but eventually the show came thru.

the team of ray, sara, and constantine was so fun. i especially enjoy seeing sara and constantine work together. you really get the sense that they understand each other on a level no one else does and i just love it so much. also wonderful seeing the dynamic between ray and constantine this episode. it’s pretty intuitive to pair them together because of their contrasting personalities, but given constantine’s angst over astra, ray seems like the perfect person to provide input and advice, since his whole thing is relentless optimism and that’s what actually convinced nora that she could choose a better life. if anyone can get constantine to believe in astra’s capacity for goodness, it’s ray. 

while ray’s little subplot was the least compelling part of the episode for me, i do think it hints at something potentially interesting. ultimately the story is ray naively believing that there are some good cops in the 1940s LAPD, and having this illusion rudely shattered. this serves as a kind of foil to constantine’s storyline (which i would consider to be the main storyline of this episode), which results in constantine changing his mind about astra deciding that there is still hope for her. it’s notable that ray advises constantine to believe in astra even after ray’s police mishap - i think it makes ray’s optimism more poignant, since he remains steadfast in it even after it fails him in one instance. but after the events of the previous episode, where ray explodes rasputin from inside, i am kind of wondering if this episode is setting up a more lasting disillusionment for ray? i could be reaching but who knows.....we will see.........

now on to constantine. god this was such a good constantine episode. at first i was a little confused why the episode was spending so much time on this plot with constantine and the lady (i dont remember her name so i’m just gonna call her ms femme fatale), and then i realized it was meant to parallel constantine and astra, and then it all made sense! constantine knew something was suspicious with ms femme fatale from the moment they met, but trusted her to do the right thing, and was betrayed when she chose to seize power by any means necessary - a choice that ended in her murder. constantine tried to save her, but you can’t save someone who refuses to let go of their quest for power. and even though ms femme fatale betrayed constantine, it’s hard to blame her for trying to become powerful when society tries to render her so powerless. there are a lot of parallels to astra’s situation, and it makes perfect sense that after constantine fails to save ms femme fatale, he would decide that he has to try and save astra. this storyline fits into some extremely fun detective noir genre tropes while also providing real character growth for constantine and setting up his arc for the season. 

speaking of genre tropes, i about lost my mind when sara tried to seduce the gangster. in the past, the show has tended to place sara in a more masculine role when revisiting history (remember sara lancelot?). but here we see that she’s able to play the feminine role equally well. i wonder if part of it is that the writers have gotten more confident and no longer feel that they need to show sara kicking ass all the time so that we understand that she’s cool and badass. which is not to say that her using herself as bait ISN’T badass bc of course it is but just in a different way. but like even beyond that there can be moments like constantine calling sara his secretary and sara making a face at him and like we get that she’s more than that sexist idea, we don’t need to make a big scene over it. we don’t need a flimsy “girl power” affirmation bc the show has done the work to present sara as powerful, and that isn’t threatened by her being belittled or pretending to be a femme fatale. anyway sara’s fluidity with gender roles means so much to me. also i thought her old timey accent was really funny. 

i also have to talk about ava of course......i like her dynamic with mick, it’s sweet. would have loved to see charlie along with them but alas it was not meant to be. i’m glad that this season is addressing early on what it means to ava to no longer be time bureau director and instead be one of the legends, because obviously it’s a huge shift for her. it’s hard not to see it as kind of an unjustified demotion, but i also think it will allow her opportunities to grow as a person and that will be interesting to see. i liked how mick was trying to comfort her, and how that didn’t really help bc he is so different from her that she can’t take his words to heart. but then she sings her silly song and discovers that she does have a new freedom now and that is something to appreciate. it was so so cute how sara was cheering ava on and being so supportive even though ava’s singing was terrible. also how she was wearing ava’s scarf. they are literally girlfriends. 

okay this post got WAY too long so i will save discussion of the tarazi family drama subplot for another post. but yeah i loved this episode so much, i’m guessing it will end up being one of my favorites of the season. 

[help-i-need-a-cool-username]

Been thinking about what Mordred's life in Camelot would've been like if Merlin didn't hate him and then thought about how if Morgana was around she would probably always give him her favor at every tournament (until he married) and the other knights would tease him for that so have a broad outline for a Beloved Characters Dont Turn Evil AU

Morgana discovers her magic and Merlin swears to her that he'll protect her. He comforts her when she's scared and Merlin begs Gaius to share his knowledge and suspicions about Morgana to Morgana herself. One night Morgana bursts into their quarters in hysterics, waking them up, screaming and sobbing, and it feels like Merlin's hug is the only thing holding her together but its not enough. Glass starts shattering, candles flare, chandeliers fall to the ground. Gaius decides at this point not telling her will do considerable more harm than not, to both herself and others. They stay up through the night. Gaius speaking and Morgana asking questions, Merlin with a supportive hand on Morgana's shoulder. At one point Morgana tearfully asks the question Merlin asked Gaius long ago, "am i a monster?". They all fall asleep at the table, and that morning when Gwen arrives to wake Morgana only to find her absent with her blankets thrown over the bed and several things knocked over she runs and alerts the guards. The guards initiate lockdown and the commotion reaches Uther and wakes Arthur (Merlin is once again late), and they proceed to fear she was kidnapped right under their noses without anyone knowing. Arthur runs down to get Merlin so he can prepare him for the day only to open the door to find the three of them asleep on the table.

Later Merlin organizes for Morgana to learn more than Gaius can tell her from the Druids, but she intends to stay the night at least, if not then significantly longer (anywhere from a week to several months), and they have no good excuse for her to use that would allow her to leave without Gwen and guards. They come up with some very convoluted plan, which does not end up in the raid that occurred in canon, and when Gwen catches her sneaking back she lies and says she wanted to check up on Mordred (who she did run into), to see if he was with the Druid encampment that was rumored to be nearby (which he was). She didn't learn nearly as much as she hoped in those few hours, but they at least pointed her in a direction.

Morgause comes to town, and leaves Morgana her bracelet. After discovering it stops her visions Morgana takes it to Gaius, who reveals it was enchanted and looks similar to the one Lady Vivienne used to wear. Morgana states Morgause got it from her mother, but that Lady Vivienne was Morgana's mother and wonders how the bracelet ever got to Morgause. Gaius says there was a rumor that Lady Vivienne had a baby that displayed a affinity for magic, but Gorlois told Uther their baby had died before they even named her. Gaius reveals that the baby was smuggled out of Camelot and given to the High Priestesses, and Morgause might very well be that baby. Morgana begins to long for a connection with Morgause, to meet the sister she never knew of and recover something of her dead parents. When she begins secretly meeting Morgause, she tells Merlin and then asks him to come with her when she begins receiving lessons from her. Morgause tries to convince them that killing Uther is the right thing to do, but Merlin keeps reassuring Morgana that all they need to do is convince Arthur to change the law for when he is king, and he's not ready to do that now so theres no use in killing Uther before he's ready, and that she does love Uther and Uther does love her and would try to "fix" her well before he ordered her death. Morgause still wants him dead, to rush the prophecy of magic's return. Them sneaking out every few nights cements the idea that Morgana and Merlin are secretly dating in castle gossip.

Im not sure what happens with Morgause, but i think she would still take Camelot at some point and she would spare Morgana and by extension Merlin. Morgana and Merlin make sure to get Arthur out (and Merlin probably goes with him) because they dont trust Morgause to not kill him. Morgause reveals her heritage (and makes Morgana a Princess and her Heir) despite claiming the throne for people of magic and not the House of Gorlois, and the knowledge that Vivienne and one of her daughters were sorceresses leads Uther to believe he can not save Morgana from magic that is likely in her blood and THAT is what breaks his mental state. Morgana's real heritage is revealed soon after, with Uther informing Gaius that Morgana being a Princess is actually within her birth rights. Morgause continues Morgana's training because at some point Morgana has to become a High Priestess because canon. That or Morgause switches sides (this is a Beloved Characters Dont Go Evil AU might as well make it No Beloved Characters Are Evil AU) and she trains Morgana later after Arthur is a established King.

Morgause is overthrown and the Round Table formed. Arthur as well as several people in the castle know of or suspect Morgana of being a sorceress but he refuses to banish her, first believing it to have been out of her control (forced by Morgause) and later learning that her nightmares had been magic all along (how could he punish her for something he knows she had tried to get rid of for over a decade?). Perhaps he lets her keep the title of Princess, having always seen her as a sister (and someone who is compassionate for the people in a way royalty should be) and armed with the new knowledge of her being his actual sister. Everyone expects Regent Arthur to crack down on magic, its what Uther would have done and what the people want, so he does. Morgana becomes a advocate for magic, as she had been for Arthur in private as a Prince, and it scares people in the castle. They believe her to be working with Morgause, despite her arguments being for individuals' wellbeing and how punishments fuels hatred for Camelot. Several attempts are made on her life, many stopped by Merlin and Gwen and sometimes Lancelot. Arthur often "asks" Merlin for his opinion on magic and with Morgana's voice being public he feels okay with being straight with Arthur on what he thinks. Uther dies same as he did in canon: protecting Arthur from a assassination.

Mordred becomes a Knight because canon. Morgana is ecstatic to see him again and acts like a mother who hasn't seen her child in ages when she first sees him. Merlin has learned you often make the enemies that are destined to kill you (ex. trying to stop Morgana's visions from coming true) so he ignores Kilgharrah and doesn't hate Mordred (he is always wary though). Mordred alternates between childlike eagerness around the knights and following Merlin around while hero worshiping him (no one can figure out why. Their best guess is that Morgana is a mutual friend). In the beginning he kept messing up his name (calling him "Merlin" is just weird) and they often talk in their heads and therefore just stare at each other which has led to two conflicting rumors: theyre in love or they hate each other. Morgana often invites him to dinner, and when they dine with Arthur they easily slip into mind-talking (because chewing) and Arthur is convinced that they're making fun of him every time they do it. He protects Arthur when Merlin can't, often runs off to do side quests Merlin needs to do but cant get away to do, and often tags along with Merlin on his quests. Being able to share the knowledge of his destiny since Lancelot died (if he dies in this AU) relaxes Merlin's caution and allows him to be emotionally closer to him. Mordred enjoys being around Merlin and Morgana not just because he's Emrys and she's Morgana, but because they are the closest thing to home he has: they know what he is, they understand (bits) of his culture and make it possible for Mordred to share it with them, their individual magic sings strong enough to remind him of when he lived surrounded by it. He quickly grows to love them so very much and no one understands WHY. The knights tease him about it, and Morgana forcing Arthur to take Mordred on certain missions he isnt qualified for "so he can learn" does not help. Gwaine and Percival were planning to convince him that he couldnt compete in a tournament without a lady's favor because he's the rookie and his panicked look greatly amuses them only to find Morgana giving him her's before kissing his cheek. They were relentless after that, alternating between "lady's favors dont count if they're from your mom," "Mordred has a girlfriend," and whatever the medieval version of affectionately calling him "Bambi" is. Morgana sits in the stand's throne (since Arthur is competing) or besides it if Gwen is queen, and she flashes a smile at him when he comes out (Gwen too. He's a sweet kid with a baby face, of course he's one of her favorites. He also reminds her of Merlin when she first met him: kind, awkward, cute). This settles Mordred's nerves but has the unfortunate side effect of increased teasing. Merlin doesn't let it go to far, he never does, and gives them a distraction before running back to Arthur.

And then magic is brought back to the land and Morgana continues the work of the High Priestesses and helps the rebuilding efforts and they're still adventures and problems, but everyone Lives Happily Ever After

[firstknightss]

its gwaincelot time

(footage of me linking this and turning incoherent thoughts to words)

so in s3 e13, we see lancelot getting slashed by one of cenred's men. since the soldier's immortal, lancelot can't kill him, but he sure can do some hefty damage to lancelot. the chainmail in the show, is shown to be quite useless ngl. it can stand some hits from swords and the like, but in the previous and further episodes, we see people being injured through the chainmail.

for arthur, his chainmail was quite steady, and the arrow that hit him in the ep before, probably hit a hole in the chain, creating a wound. but! this is arthur, the prince, and soon to be king of camelot, so obviously he has better chainmail

they were low on supplies when they minted the round table, so im assuming that whoever was wearing chainmail before, stayed in it. so arthur, percival, leon and lancelot stayed in their mail, whereas elyan and gwaine didnt and got new ones now. lancelot and percival had been living as mercenaries, which means that their supplies weren't as good as leon and arthurs. therfore lancelot and percy's armour was cheaper and lower quality

percival, of the two, is at the better objective advantage, as he's.....................tall.................so the places where his chainmail would have been the weakest (joints) was higher up, and harder to reach lancelot, on the other hand, is short as fuck. therefore his joints were lower and easier to hit leading him to get hit by the sword, in a battle which would have been pretty much a cakewalk for percival

also, we know, that the whole ordeal probably had a really bad effect on merlin, since he had to use powerful magic for a steady period of time. not to mention how tiring holding the dragon breath sword would have been. now there is no actual evidence merlin healed lancelot. (he sure could have. but for this hot take. im not gonna acknowledge it) and y'know what? fair? Merlin's gone through a LOT. and i mean a LOT. he probably had magical exhaustion another thing we know for sure, is that gwaine, however stupid u think he is, is quite competent. not only is he a really good fighter, BUT! considering he's got nobody to depend upon, and - most recently - in that slave trader situation, since he was his "best fighter", i assume he got injuries and probably fixed them himself. he's been around a Lot. therefore must. must have picked stuff up. jack of trades shit. i assume he'd be the second person you'd go for injuries, assuming merlin's incapacitated. its mostly just elimination than anything else arthur cant care for people for shit <3 gwen may be a seamistress but theres a line between sowing people up and fixing wounds. elyan may be a blacksmith, but again theres a line between mechanics and actually healing someone. leon - do u think he can heal people? look me in the Eye.

and percival. he'd be great for a mental health day, but not one for physical health ngl gaius is also there, but he straight up killed someone and he's quite old - so im gonna throw magical exhaustion at him. he did much less than merlin, but also age does add to it therefore, since the knights know gwaine is a bit of a "jack of all trades" thing, ofc they'd go to him for patchups

also ALSO reminder that gwaines one to have a proper Proper education because sure arthur has been "trained to kill since birth", and leon's probably trained to be first knight since birth. so they must have focused more on martial arts and swordmanship instead of like. actual studying.

but gwaines dad, hes probably a lower noble. so therefore, gwaine must have had more freedom to study like. whatever.

most of the medicine at that time was in LATIN. and seen as HERBAL. so gwaine could have deadass done the two subjects at school. like a latin 101 and herbology 101

now im gonna need u to hold these facts, and imagine a scenario

lancelot, probably tired as shit, a little feverish because who knows how good his shirt is under his armour, hobbling over to gwaine in camelot, after merlin and gaius r passed out

and then cut to tender scene where gwaine (who everyone thinks is like. beyond saving) softly patching up lancelot (who everyone thinks is like. the Purest)

and lancelot's like "oh gwaine!! didn't know you could do such work!!!" and gwaine's all like "ohh it's one of my MANY talents you dont know about [winkey face winky face]"

and its just shippy and cute

and also also. lancelot fevered. and gwaine offers to bunk w him. obv merlin would be a first choice, but hes. currently passed out due to exhaustion. so GWAINE it is

they dont have rooms yet so i assume they just sleep half in leons room and half in arthurs room

leons room contains lancelot and gwaine. leon very nobly offered lancelot his bed. and gwaine Jumps In like "dont mind if i do ;) "

and leons like.........okay

(leons going through somehting rn bc its hitting him that hes immortal. and he cant sleep. so he dozes off on the sofa, but NOT BEFORE looking over the two sleeping)

they wake up cuddling <3 :sparkles:

and leons like. in a very aro way. "fools"

and anyway they ride next to each other, when they get their horses the next morning. because sleeping next to another knight rlly speedruns a slow burn

tldr; i saw one scene where they rode together, therefore they must be gay

[jajanvm-imbi]

If Krel and Toby went to Camelot with the others (like they SHOULD have)

Krel: 

He would have fallen into Camelot with his serrator cause he always has it with him so he thankfully won’t have to worry about his A5 form being exposed.

Douxie would introduce him to Arthur as “Krel from the House of Tarron” obviously but I feel like it should be mentioned 

since everyone got paired up with people that were relevant to them or their character (Doux with Merlin, Jim with Deya, Claire with Morgana, Steve with Lancelot) I feel like Krel would have found himself with a team of alchemists. 

like I imagine the team walking through the castle and Krel just seeing these alchemists in like their late 20s early 30s through an open door and be in complete awe of them that he would just wander into their lab and the alchemists would just be like “welp guess this kid is our new apprentice” and they just take him under their wing.

They would ask him “you dont look from around here, where you from?” (Since he’s brown and and has a latino accent) and he would be like “….Cantaloupia…….?" and they would be like "hmmmmmmmoKAY!!!”

at some point the Camelot trio Doux, Claire and Steve are just like “hey where’d Krel go?” and it would cut to like a scene where he’s like blowing something up with the alchemists with the biggest smile on his face and like “WOOO!!!!!”

They give him a set of these potion holsters full of different potions and chemicals and powders for on-the-go alchemy and he gets SO EXCITED (yes I use pinterest)

Like the Camelot trio + Toby would just be chilling in their room trying to figure out how to fix the timeline and Krel would just burst into the room like “GUYS LOOK WHAT I GOT!!!!!!!!” like the nerd he is

He and Toby get distracted with the cool stuff Krel can do with his potions while Douxie and Claire just look at them like tired parents like

Douxie and Claire: “gUYS we still have to fix the timeline and save Jim!!!

Krel: yeah but watch this! *does some alchemy*

Toby: SOCOOLSOCOOLSOCOOLSOCOOL!!!!

Douxie and Claire: *looks into the pretend camera like they’re on the Office*

He would help Arcadia Douxie set up traps all over Camelot 

During the Battle of Killahead, Krel would be like Honey Lemon in Big Hero Six and come up with the perfect solution with his potions to attack the GummGumms on the spot

He would be really proud of himself and like mid battle after he successfully took down a GummGumm he would just be like "WOOHOO Check me out!” And the just gets whacked in the head again (cause this is Krel we’re talking about.)

This is completely irrelevant PONYTAIL KREL. I need it and this would be the perfect time for it

so anyway,

he would absolutely marvel at the sight of Douxie’s spellcaster guitar just like he and Aja did when they saw Jim’s armor. 

Douxie: *uses his guitar in battle*

Krel: Is that your staff???? I want one!!!!!! How do I get one???

Claire: Focus Krel!!!!

I just feel like that would happen at some point anyway cause, it’s really cool?! I think we didn’t see it happen is cause there was no time for it to happen in the actual show but it would totally happen at some point

Saying goodbye to the alchemists would prolly be like, “I’m guessing you want these (the potion holsters) back, huh?” And the alchemists are just like, “umm, you can definitely keep them kid??? You’re really good at this!!! We’re glad you were our apprentice!” And Krel is just like “:D :D :D :D!!!!!!!!”

Toby: 

so obviously he fell in with his warhammer cause it doesn’t go anywhere without it.

Douxie would introduce him as “Tobias of Domslaskia”, again I just feel like it should be mentioned

I want to say that he would have gotten paired up with Arthur because Jim and Arthur parallels and Arthur is the last major Camelot character that doesn’t have an Arcadian pair, but, knowing how the TOA writing team treat Toby as a character he’d prolly just be like a stable boy or the knights’ water boy or something (sucks I know) 

so like they’d all be in front of Arthur for the first time while Arthur is assigning everyone to their mentor and Toby’s like “pleasebeaknightpleasebeaknightpleasbeaknight” and Arthur’s just like “You, robust one, follow sir Lancelot, he’ll take you to the washroom. You’ll be cleaning up after they finish practicing” and Toby’s like “what??? Why can’t I be a knight too???” and he just gets pulled along.

All the knights marvel at his “metal teeth” just like Krel and Aja did when they first saw his braces

Toby would be ready to throw hands with anyone who tries to put their hands on Jim. Claire and Douxie have to physically restrain him from hurling his warhammer into Arthur’s face during one of the many times he tries to kill Jim

since Toby is just assigned as a servant boy, he can easily sneak into the dungeon to see Jim. He’s the team’s connection to Jim while he’s locked in the dungeon 

He would have gone with Jim after the dungeon break. Jim and Claire are saying their goodbyes and Toby’s like “Dont worry Claire, ol’ Warhammer will take care of him” and just goes with him despite everyones protests because he loves his best friend and wont let him leave on another adventure without him again. Claire went with him the New Jersey, now it’s his turn to go with Jim

Deya would be like “who’s this?” And before Jim can answer Toby just goes “His best friend in the whole wide world!!!!” And Deya would just be like “a human and a Troll? Friends? Now that’s a first.” And Jim would show her the pictures of them in Arcadia

Toby would see Arrrgh in Dwoza and immediately try to connect with him calling him Wingman, forgetting that this is GummGumm! Arrrgh then get sad because he misses Arcadia Arrrgh.

He would call of our trolls by their name and the trolls would get like so confused

Toby: yo my girl Bagdwella what’s good?!!!

Bagdwella: ????How does this human know my name???????

Toby: Draal! I’ve missed you!! *hugs him*

Draal: why is this human child touching me????

For the rest of it I just believe that it would be them catching up cause they’re best bros and yeah Jim loves Claire but he needs bro time with Toby again.

During the battle of Killahead he goes absolutely feral with his warhammer and kicks ass like the king that he is

He comforts Steve when Lancelot dies (because Steve deserves to mourn his father figure DAMMIT)

He also protests going back to the present without finding a way to save Jim from the shard with Claire because they both love best boy and are tired of seeing him suffer alone.

[oncefutureemrys]

I'm gonna talk about one of my favourite fics bc why not,, it's called I'll tell you my sins (and you can sharpen your knife) by snailguy on ao3 if you want to read it, but do so before reading this ask bc it's all just spoilers.

IT BROKE MY HEART??????? I READ IT A FEW MONTHS AGO AND I'M. NOT. OVER. IT.

... tbh I don't think I ever will

like

merlin saved arthur using magic and arthur saw him, it was really obvious

and he, of course, felt betrayed and had some mixed feelings but-

HE WAS *REALLY* HURT, I MEAN R E A L L Y

so what does he do?

... okay like merlin is having a breakdown and is trying to explain himself and arthur just - he just tells him to kneel. and to be quiet. and you know I'm reading that and I see where its going and I feel like I have something stich in my throat and I'm losing it already

and merlin naturally does as he's told and is sobbing quietly and is trying not to cry but is upset bc he also realised what's gonna happen

and arthur he- he is fighting with himself. he's hurt, he's sad, he's about to do the hardest thing in his whole life. and then- then the writer gives me hope!!!!!!

ARTHUR ASKS MERLIN IF HE CAN ASK HIM KNE QUESTION. and our lil bean says 'anything' and now I'm crying.

and arthur asks him is was ever going to tell him. merlin says he wanted to. none of them misses the unsaid no.

and,, and so many things happen, so. many details are included, it's so beautifully written-- that drop of blood on a blue neckerchief - that shift in Arthur's expression - how merlin still thought about shaving his king---- just--

and then it finally happens

arthur- he slips merlin's throat with excalibur and merlin is choking on his own blood and-------

and all merlin can think about is how everyone will hate him, bc of his magic, how everyone's lives will be easier without him and i-- I just--

and then he remembers all the little things he'll miss. he thinks about butterflies, the sun, waking up in his bed, riding a horse, and now he's crying bc he will never again experience any of this. and he curses kilgharrah and destiny and everything and--

and he- he---- he's gone---

and the nature mourns him.

I WAS HEARTBROKEN AFTER IT. I WAS BROKEN DAMMIT- AND I ABORE IT. I LOVE THAT FIC SO MUCH, IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL, IT'S SO STRONG AND FILLED WITH EMOTION-

.. I needed to rant about it somewhere and you reblogged that post- I had to.

so, I'm sorry for this late response, I was a bit busy finishing some stuff, but I read the fic you were talking aboUT AND AHHHH IT WAS SO BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN WHATT!

here's the link for the fic I highly recommend but do check those tags because it's very angsty and MCD!

BUT YES FOR REAL HBWAHJDWD THIS FIC HURT ME IN SOOOO MANY WAYSSS I FEEL YOUUUU

LITERALLY THE LEVEL OF DETAIL OF THIS FIC I CANNOTTT IT WAS INCREDIBLEE!! THE WAY THAT YOU COULD TELL ARTHUR WAS WRESTLING WITH THIS DECISION, THE WAY THAT MERLIN FELT SO SAD FOR HAVING DONE THIS TO MERLIN -- LITERALLY I WAS ALSO BEING KILLED LIKE WAJBDHAHJWHJDWJD BRUHHHH THIS FIC HURTTSSS

but omgg WHEN MERLIN WAS SLOWLY DYING AND HE WAS THINKING OF ALL THE LITTLE MEMORIES OF THE REST OF THEM -- STOPPPP STOPP WBADHWJ MY HEART CANNOT TAKE THIS PAINNN THATS NOT FAIR

okay, here's a part of the fic that I loved:

Tears slipped from his eyes, still, as he realised he'd never again wake to Gaius' tinkering in the other room or the birds singing outside his window or hold his mother and breathe her in, that sweet smell of flowers and herbs and the wind, and it'd been far too long since he last saw her and he missed her so much and would she miss him? He'd never laugh as Gwaine flicked his hair in a mockery of some noblewoman that had visited, never feel safe in the hold of Lancelot's warm gaze as he showed him some new spell he'd learned, never finish learning how to braid hair with Gwen or hear her laugh as he tripped over nothing or help her with her chores on the days her father's death weighed on her. He'd never feel Percival or Leon's comforting hands on his shoulder or learn more effective ways to sharpen Arthur's swords from Elyan because he understood how tiresome being a servant could be from Gwen and would help in any way he could. He'd never feel the wind in his hair or see a butterfly or hold a rabbit or look for silly shapes in the clouds or ride a horse or do anything and it scared him because he never realised how much those small things meant to him until they were gone and he'd never get them back, never. Arthur had left him here to rot and there was nothing he could do, couldn't even move or breathe or call for help and he was so scared, so so scared and he didn't want to die, he wasn't ready, please come back, please help me, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, please—

THIS ENTIRE SECTION. I WAS NOT READY. NO THANK YOU, NO SIRRR NOT TODAY.

THE WAY THAT THAT ENTIRE LAST SECTION HURTTT ME ON SUCH A LEVELLLL WAS UNCALLED FOR BHWBABWHDBWJD ANON THIS WAS AN AMAZING FIC BUT ALSO WHY WOULD YOU HURTTT ME LIKE THISSSS BAHJBHDBWJABDW

but that ending was so beautifully done, the emotions WERE SO RAW AND BEAUTIFUL i absolutely loved itttt bwhbadaw literally can see why you might not ever be over it beCAUSE I DONT THINK ILL EVER BE OVER IT.

hhehe thanks for the painnn and the sufferringgg hahaha glad you told me about it though, it was an amazing read!!

anyway

anonymously tell me anything including fics that will break my heart thanks

[sadhaa]

another THOUGHT

Cause istg i am on a role rn. If anyone has the time and writing ability to write these ideas GO DO IT. I enable you. 

OK THOUGHT: The Dark Tower - The Hollow Queen and With All My Heart storylines but change it up a bit. The Dark Tower, The Hollow Queen The Hollow Warlock and With All My Heart

Like what if instead of Gwen, Merlin got kidnapped?

Note: I do realize after my last post that I am making some eps more Merlin-centric and that’s bc i feel like if this happened we would get more character development. just a thought. 

Note again: you can interpret this as platonic or romantic i dont really care but bc im a big rom merthur shipper, im taking this in the romantic interpretation

Note again again: can people comment like if they like ideas like this cause im down to have more thoughts. like this is fun. i feel great. 

Ok as always background:

1. Gwen is Queen, Camelot needs a queen so she is queen, but she is not married to Arthur, she is married to Lance (they did him so dirty in the show)

2. Arthur has feelings but he doesn’t really know that he has feelings. like he gets a fluttery feeling whenever Merlin smiles but just chalks it up to heart burn. 

3. Morgana knows who Emrys is. Cause if she is the High Priestess, im gonna assume she knows about the crystal cave and asked it “crytal crystal in the ground, who the hell is emrys?” and it just showed a pic of merlin and she was like “aww hell nah”

ok on to thought-->

So Morgana finds out about Merlin and his magic and is pissed. She plots to torture him for the pain he has caused her. she also remembered what Agravaine (ew) told her when he was helping her, that Arthur had the knights comb the forests in search of Merlin, ultimately going himself to save Merlin. also if she can get Emrys to her side, then maybe all of the magic population would side with her and help takeover Camelot. So she plans to kidnap him and take him to the dark tower.

so cue that scene with all the knights and Gwen but this time with Merlin too bc Gwen misses him and wants to chat like old times. 

BAM MORGANA 

now some of the knights get bitten and gwen gets knocked unconcious but Merlin tries to stand up to her, but she subdues him quick bc we need that for plot. 

the remaining knights go back to Arthur, commence angst bc oh no Merlin. 

Arthur remembers the fear he felt the last time Merlin was kidnapped by the men but doesn’t know that Merlin was kidnapped by Morgana then too. Either way, he needs to get his bff/love back.

Merlin faces the same hallucinations but its everyone reacting badly when they find out about his magic

Leon - “YOU BETRAYED YOUR FRIENDS AND ARTHUR, HOW COULD YOU”

Gwaine - “YOU LIED TO ME WHEN I TOLD YOU ABOUT MYSELF, I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS” (not super strong ik, if someone has a better one...)

Elyan and Gwen - “MAGIC KILLED OUR FATHER AND NOW WE WILL GET OUR REVENGE”

Percival - “MAGIC (CENRED) KILLED MY FAMILY NOW I WILL KILL YOU”

Lancelot - “YOU LIED AND GOT ME BANISHED, YOU SAID YOU WOULD HELP ME MERLIN” 

and then Arthur’s would hurt the most “YOU LIED TO ME ALL THESE YEARS I TRUSTED YOU YOU KILLED MY FATHER YOU COULD HAVE SAVED MORGANA YOU ALMOST GOT GAIUS KILLED YOU MONSTER...”

the “monster” part would kill him inside and is thus the breaking point for him where he falls into Morgana’s curse.

Now commence the rest of the episode Dark Tower, the same way except that the weird fairy actually helps the rescue party bc she believes that Merlin is good and that they all need him and Elyan doesn’t die bc my boi deserves better than that too. 

They get him back and he seems fine. But he really isnt

I dont have any real ideas for the Hollow Warlock its just a cool title I thought. The main pivotal part should be Merlin meeting with Morgana and monologuing about living in Camelot scared and saving Arthur and not being seen which makes the viewers see a side of Merlin that is not seen often. almost like a Dark!Merlin AU. 

Ok, now to With All My Heart. All the knights, Arthur and Gwen notice Merlin acting odd. So they follow him and notice him consorting with Morgana. Arthur is crushed bc the one person, his other half, who he knew would never betray him has now gone and done this. When they speak with Gaius and he tells them that Merlin has fallen to Morgana’s will, then they all are relieved bc that means that Merlin doesn’t actually want to betray Arthur. Arthur is now more determined than ever to get him back. So cue funny scene with a dinner with knights, arthur, gwen and gaius. even mordred.

BAM merlin unconscious and ready to be saved!

Now adventure! Quest! Drama! Angst! 

On a night where they have to stop to rest and merlin is still conked out, they swap stories of M’s heroic deeds and funny moments. they plan to tell him all of this when he wakes up cause that boy doesn’t get enough praise.

Now they are at the fancy lake (im a little lazy to figure out the name) the only downside to my idea is that there can’t be a Dolma. or maybe there is a Dolma! that isnt merlin in disguise. 

Merlin wakes up and like how Gwen went on a mad tirade for a sec, he goes on for a whole 10 mins and inadvertently reveals his magic. He vents it all out in an anger infused rant and talks about how he wants to be loved and seen and is crying as well as shouting. Everyone is horrified and Arthur feels guilty and betrayed. Percival knocks him out so that they can talk about this. They spend the night there and decide to wait til the morning to decide to help M or not (basically they all would save M they jus dont know if A would save him or not [even though they all know he would]).

Arthur sleeps and ,through Kilgarrah’s (is that how you spell it?) creepy ass voodoo magic, sees a life without Merlin in it. He wakes up with a shout and realizes. That. was. a Nightmare. a life without Merlin was literally a nightmare. He thinks back to the rant and knows that even though Merlin was scared and did things selflessly, he meant no harm to camelot and did it all out of Love. Bc he loved Arthur. Arthur then has an epiphany and realizes his “heart burn” is emotions. yike. And with that Arthur decides to help M. 

They get him to the lake and its basically a repeat of the day before with the screaming and shouting. But this time, Morgana’s men have arrived. With Morgana. cause drama.

Now the knights and gwen grab their swords and make a wall while M and A stay behind. Arthur tries to get through to Merlin and says “I am sorry with all my heart” and Merlin hesitates. 

Then a few of the evil dudes get through the wall and advance towards Arthur and Merlin. Arthur steps forward to fight and Merlin watches and realizes that Arthur would fight for him, would die for him just as Merlin had vowed to do. this man was worth it and that he knew that with all his heart. 

Merlin walks into the lake, glows a little and walks out normal. he like slow walks past the wall and uses his magic in a super badass way and just scares Morgana bc of how powerful she is. she yeets herself out of there and everyone hugs merlin and they tell him how much they all love him. Arthur in particular just kisses him right there and then, all adrenaline and happiness.  

On the way home, he tells the stories of all the times he used magic. they realize that even though he was under Morgana’s will, this is still what he felt, the fear, the anxiety, the pain. Arthur goes back and repeals the ban and makes Merlin his consort. prob some nice angst with requited love. 

the end.

someone write this pls. i have these thoughts at 11:23 pm and dont have the motivation to actually write something like this. 

[t0d0r0ni]

Ikemen Revolution Squad as High School Students

Ray Blackwell

He's a total soccer club boi

co-president of the animal club alongside with edgar and loki

has been personally invited in multiple sports clubs when he finishes soccer season but he says hes too busy practicing cough already in the animal club

girls and dudes alike has asked him out.

hes so fucking aloof but cool and soft and kind and has this leadership vibe

that one kid everyone wants to have group projects with

highkey

dis boi is only a freshman but hes doing so well

sobs

Sirius Oswald

President of the chess club. Vice-president of the gardening club.

senior

that one dude that will always be nice to you

everyone likes him

one of those rare gems where they're the teachers pet but nobody minds

secretary of the student council

nobody knows how he manages all this stuff

his friends often joke around saying hes always the mom of the group

they get knuckle sandwiches

always wins at team activities because of his tactician skills

would join the cooking club too but thats too much for him

he was in the cooking club when he was in freshman year

flying colors in his SATs boom boom harvard graduate

Luka Clemence

boi this boi has so many fangirls

especially jonah and seth

president of the cooking club and a respected member of the kendo team

sophomore year

hes kind of like honey from ohshc

a lot of people joined the cooking club because of him

annoys him because most of them dont know how to cook

likes alice because she actually knows how to make stuff and knows what shes doing and doesnt get in his way

*fierce* in kendo

hes a very good student

hangs out with eggar a lot and if he really had to play another sport, he would choose volleyball or tennis where its less toxic

RICH BOY ALERT RICH BOY ALERT WARNING WARNING RICH BOY ALERT RICH BOY ALERT

his parents own a really big corporate and rich as fuck

he uses a lot of his ridiculous allowance to fund for school events and charity

girls SCREAM at luka and seth what hair products they use

poor boi

Fenrir Godspeed

screw ray being asked for some teams FENRIR GOT ALL THE SPORTS TEAMS BEGGING FOR HIM TO COME

He joined the archery club because there were no shooting ranges

vERY GOOD AT ARCHERY Hes a FUCKING GOD

thinking of joining track too

popular kids club one hundred percent

hes also A BIG SOCCER BOI OMG BEST TEAMMATES WITH RAY NOTHING CAN BEAT THEM THEY'RE THE RIDICULOUS FIRST YEARS LIKE KAGEYAMA AND HINATA BUT BOTH OF THEM ARE SHORT AT 5'8 cough

after soccer ends he WILL BE SHINING STAR QUARTERBACK ONLY A FRESHMAN WOWOWOWOWOW

girls love him a lot because hes a ficking gentleman at other times

RICH BOY NUMBER TWO ALERT

stays really humble tho

also donates to school and charity

but he also screams and buys controllers games and consoles monthly and plays with ray and seth occasionally dragging luka and sirius in too

grades are okay

Seth Hyde

EVERYONE'S BEST FRIEND

President of the drama club

BEAUTY GURU

his grades are okay too

HIS ACTING AND FASHION SENSE IS AMAZING

Vice-president of the fashion club

junior year

Girls love him for his advice

Seth was asked out by many boys thinking seth's gay

always rejects ppl but will say i love you a lot

he got good grades on SAT (he thinks)

Helps organize many school events

girls SCREAM at luka and seth what hair products they use

Lancelot Kingsley

senior

got even better grades than sirius and boom boom harvard graduate

his family hella rich

president of school council

cold boi

angsty boi

leader boi

neEERDDDDDDDDD

hes a loner LOSERRRRRRR

anyway he is amazing at leadership and the school was amazing since he was elected for a council member at freshman year

people hate him a lot

lowkey has fangirls

BOYS JEALOUS ASF HOW HE GOT EVERYONE

he dont get everything

he needs some love ToT

RICH BOY NUMBER THREE

Jonah Clemence

RICH BOY NUMBER FOUR

and lives up to rich boy name

DRAMA QUEEN

vice president of drama club

same grade as seth

angry that hes second

vice president of the school

KISSES LANCELOT'S ASS ALL THE TIME SIDES WITH HIM AGREES ON HIM WITH EVERYTHING

lowkey bothers lancelot a lot (pun not intended)

obsessed with his brother and tried to join the cooking club but he was instantly banned the moment the rumor of the vice president joining the club

luka had to deal with dozens of other students after wards

girls ask him all the time for product recommendations

he REFUSES to sit at the cafeteria or any "commoner" place

drives to a 5 star expensive ass restaurant everyday at lunch time and drives back no ficking questions

he'll only sit in those horrid selections of places with Luka and Lancelot PERIOD

Hates Sirius with a passion with his connections of lancelot

EXPENSIVE BOI WITH THAT BUCCI AND WERSACE AND VOUIS LUTTON

Department stores who?

edgar bugs him so fucking much

His grades are good

Edgar Bright

grades are amazing

looks are amazing

talent is amazing

boys hate him also because hes so perfect

basketball captain

same grade as luka

oh i forgot

RICH BOY NUMERO CINCO

im getting tired of typing rich boy

animal fanboy

girls love him 

some ppl lowkey creeped out of how perfect he is and always smiles

Zero

SWEETHEART

BBY 

He’s in the fencing team, kendo team, anything involved with swords hes in it 

not rich boi FINALLY 

hes known as “sword guy”

all girls like him as either a person or a crush 

nobody hates him?? 

always gives candy whenever someone feels sad 

his grades are some of the best 

never slacks off 

teacher’s pet 

good boi

Kyle Ash 

teachers are in fucking disbelief on how smart he is

RICH BOY NUMBER SIX 

he doesnt use any money tho lol 

kyle sometimes teaches the class, and everyone prefers that because hes chill and lazy as fuck and somehow makes everyone understand what the lesson point is

he could’ve skipped grades up to twelfth grade when he was ten but hes too lazy 

he drinks a lot of mocktails 

he loves soda, juice, warm drinks, cold drinks 

kyle always declares that hes going to be a doc blowing all his savings on bourbon and beer 

KYLE IS SO HOT THOUGH AND PEOPLE DONT UNDERSTAND HOW AND WHY 

aces the cpr classes 

aces health class 

aces chemistry 

aces anything related to academics 

best grades in his year 

[tillman]

idk whot his aggravain bitch is but tell me abt him!!!!

YESSSSSS Ok thank you so much i would literally die for you.

aggravain is the second oldest orkney brother (it goes gawain, aggravain, gaheris, mordred, and then gareth and i hate that i know that off the top of my head but by god i do) but anwyays he has the VERY SPECIFIC middle child syndrome of “i dont get any attention or praise. im both outshined by my older brother yet too old to have the potential of my younger brothers so im going to do everything in my power to get any attention.” and it leads to a lot of problems.

he does a lot of bad things. he doesnt care for honor, he barely cares for doing the right thing, but i think a lot of it is how he specfically internalized growing up with gawain. oh dear holy gawain, the kngiht of the sun, the one destined to do great things. gaheris took this in a different way and i would love to talk about him too but this is aggravain hours so he can wait his turn. 

anyways hes a problem causer, but at the heart of most of his actual evils is a bit of good. i think in a lot of cases hes honestly trying to do the right thing, the thingn to help his brothers, the thing to save camelot, he just doesnt know how to actually do it in a way that doesnt cause a huge stir. he kills dinadan and lies about it for the sheer thrill of being able to tear lancelot down. he helps his brothers kill lamorak for him causing such a stir in their family. how dare he try and replace lot. he says truly awful things just to get a rise out of gawain and gaheris because he just feels so empty. morgause, their mother would never have praised him, gawain was too busy with gaheris to sit and try and help aggravain with his specific problems, and he felt too protective of mordred to try and dump any of it on him.

his relationship with mordred is also super interesting since theyre so alike. mordred takes a differetn route, with the whole destiny plot butthyey both truly love each other and aggravain is VERY protective of him, willing to lie and kill people to protect him. granted all his brothers are like this but aggravain and mordred have such a special kinship you cant really have one without the other.

anyways moving towards the major thing he does, you HAVE to know aggravain is a coward. he doesnt do anything if he doesnt have mordred or one of his other brothers beside him. he refuses to do any misdeeds on his own, and i think thats because he truly doesnt want to be just . killing people. but when he goes to confront lancelot and guenevere, its less out of hatred towards lancelot, and more genuinely wanting to do the right thing for camelot. he goes with a Lot Of Knights. including mordred. and ends up paying his life for it. 

but like, if he knew what would have happened by calling out their relationship, i dont actually think he would have done it. he just wanted to make an impact. he wanted to have someone say “you did the right thing” he wanted to be seen. he wanted to surpass gawain and actually step out of his shadow and be seen as someone who DID something. he didnt see the death behind it. i think if he knew what would haev happened to mordred after he absolutely wouldnt have even thought about it.

basically tldr. aggravain is a bad person, yes. he does awful things, hes a coward who refuses to stand up for his own believes, but hes interesting. hes a devoted brother who genuinely would do anything for his siblings even if he tends to get into scrabbles with gaheris and gawain. he genuinely wants to do good but its so blindsided with the need for attention. for anyone to look at him and say what hes doing is right and just that hes willing to throw it all away for any attention at all. 

[starrymothwings]

@awxrdedarjxna @wintergreen-aix

ok so admittedly i wasn’t expecting anyone to be interested, so i don’t have any drawings to go with this BUT i’ll do some in the morning since it’s almost 1 here and i gotta sleep soon

so the na summer event has been an inspiration for this, and i watched ponyo today too so there’s that as well. anyways the basic premise of the au is this:

18-year old college student gudako’s grandmother who she barely knows dies and leaves her granddaughter her seaside cottage and everything in it, along with a cool silver ring. gudako, stressed student and sudden homeowner, decides to take some time off school and travel to this rinky dink port town to check out the cottage, as well as find out a little more about her grandmother since the woman left her all of her worldy possessions

so gudako gets to town and everyone is weirdly avoidant or even mildly uncomfortable when she brings up her grandmother, and even more so when she mentions that she left the house to her. it doesn’t deter her from going to the house though so she continues on through the town to the cottage. it’s a nice place, a cozy two-story place a bit removed from the rest of the port with a small private beach and dock.

the inside of the house is full of strange knicknacks and jars full of sand and shells and other weird decorations, but is otherwise cozy. it’s all pretty uneventful until the next morning...when gudako wakes up to find some weird rodent and a girl waiting at the kitchen table for her. 

it gets even more hectic when the girl (who introduces herself as mash) explains that gudako’s grandmother was, in fact, a powerful and well-known sea witch, and by accepting and coming to the cottage, gudako has accepted the role of her successor and now has the responsibility of continuing her craft.

oh, and she also has to act as peacekeeper for the kingdoms of mer and seafolk who live in the waters nearby, as well as possibly stop the growing threat of a war between the land and the sea.

i like to call this au Reluctant Sea Witch Gudako

80% fun magic adventures and friendship 20% plot, this au is pretty self-indulgent and may or may not also be a reason to draw all of the servants as merfolk

i have more but i dont know if anyone is still interested SO ill wait for tomorrow when i can get those pictures drawn to write a whole lot more so uhhh ok

-fou is gudako’s familiar that started off with her grandmother and was passed down to her and does a little more than hang around and get fur everywhere

-mash is a mermaid that made a pact to serve gudako’s grandmother and her family after she saved the young mermaid from a net. she’s not fused with galahad here but other than that it’s pretty much the same mashed potatoes we all know and love. also i think i want her as lancelot’s adopted daughter and thus galahad’s sister

-roman is a seemingly normal human who was close with gudako’s grandmother and seems to be hiding something. he’s gudako’s first real friend in town and he watched over mash in her grandmother’s absence...more on him later ;)c

-da vinci is a kelpie who likes to play pranks on the local populace but is overall pretty benevolent. like mash and roman, she hangs around the cottage a lot and acts like a teasing older sister figure to gudako. like romani, there’s a lot she knows that gudako doesn’t about her situation, but she swears it’s nothing bad

-marie olga animusphere isn’t cast off into oblivion and is also a normal girl who lives in town who gudako eventually befriends

-blackbeard doesn’t exist

that turned out longer than i expected it to, but that’s the main gist! there’s even more i want to talk about, especially about the kingdoms (singularites), servants, and how gudako interacts with all of them. i also want to talk about magic and magic artifacts. all that will have to wait until tomorrow though ;v; im tired but also excited. 

let me know what you guys think, whether or not this sounds interesting to someone other than me, or feel free to ask or dm me any questions! i’ll try to have some art for this tomorrow!