#also i don't like. ever leave the house. especially right now while it's cold weather and i Physically Can't most days

[nexus-nebulae]

why do some people use "but it'll look stupid while you're recovering" as a way to say you don't actually want a medical procedure

[wizkiddx]

hiii!!! omg please please pleasee do a part two of 3 hearts broken cus it fucking slaps miss girl

part 2 to 3 broken hearts!!! ive been so 🥺 at all the lovely comments+interest pt 1 had so thanku all !

summary: serious serious angst again will tom somehow get it back (unlike looking cos boy is a fool)

warnings: again lots of swearing (im British sorry not sorry) / wayyyy too much tea / slating Dom abit (obvs fictional but idk if I like the guy sorry his opinions are :/) / commitment issues

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read part 1 here!!!!

That was three days ago now. Three days since you'd spoken to your boyfrien- well, Tom. It wasn't evident what the situation was.

The typical British weather brought with it the most ironic pathetic fallacy you could ever see. The clouds were dark and glooming, firing angry pellets of rain out as hard as they could. When you had pulled up on the roadside, it had just been a light drizzle but synchronised with your anxiety levels rising - so did the rain. When you finally opened up the car door, you threw your hoodie open with a sigh before running up the pathway to the front door.

It was the same burgundy red that you knew so well, but this time instead of just letting yourself in - you stood in the rain used the brass knocker thing twice. To be honest, you were hoping that no one was home - but in that house, it was pretty unlikely. After 30 seconds of getting drenched in the downpour, you were about to let yourself in with the spare key before the door swung open.

"Oh! Er Y/n?"

"Yeh um hi." You had to shout a bit over the sound of what must now be classified as a storm.

"Toms not-"

"I know. Can I come in?" As awkward and stunted as this conversation was, if you didn't get out of the rain asap you would literally end up drowned.

“Oh er yeh-yeh yeh come in.”

Harry stammered as he held the door open, gesturing for you to enter into the tiled hallway. Gratefully, you followed, throwing your sopping wet hood back down and wiping your feet on the floor.

"Sorry for just showing up, but I left some scripts here. My management are on my arse to read them and-"

"And you waited till Tom left for mum and dads?" The fluffy-haired boy has caught you red-handed; there was no defence, so you didn't even try.

Because yes, you knew on a Friday afternoon when Tom was home he would always, like clockwork, go to his parents just to kick back and watch gogglebox with both of them. It was only natural then that you chose Friday afternoon to come and pick up your stuff.

"I've been waiting in my car for half an hour till I saw him leave." Harry half laughed at that, still the two of you standing opposite each other in the hallway. "Um, do you… do you hate me Harry?"

Clearly, he hadn't quite been expecting your question going by the way his eyes almost bugged out his head.

"No, I-I, of course, I don't… look, I'm home alone so you fancy a cuppa?" Not being able to help the small chuckle, you nodded appreciatively, following Harry through the house.

"Your answer to everything is tea."

Harry had prepared the two mugs in silence as you sat at the table waiting patiently - if nervously too. You didn't miss how Harry had still used your favourite mug, having had to dig through the cupboard to find the weird square-shaped thing. Once done, he rounded the kitchen island and placed it in front of you, which you instantly cradled in two hands - for the hope of warming you up.

"You cold?" Obviously, it was pretty evident that sitting in your rain-soaked hoodie was not cosy at all. "Hang on a sec."

The boy sprung up again, returning moments later with a hoodie in hand, one he offered out to you with a little smile. The issue was that him and Tom shared clothes, so the hoodie he was kindly offering to you also had been worn by Tom before. Which made it hurt a little bit to wear. It was better than sitting soaked through though.

"How have you been then?"

"Not the best, to be honest, but uh… how about you?"

"Being with Tom while he's fighting with you? Oh, it's a barrel of laughs. You might've escaped it, but I haven't." He was trying to lighten the mood, and you appreciated it, offering him a half-smile that didn't really meet your eyes.

"Yeh sorry about that."

"Don't apologise; it doesn't sound like it's your fault Y/n."

That surprised you. Tom, especially when he was in moods like he was when you argued, wasn't one to admit when he was wrong. It was usually how the world was against him and how he was so hard done by. Accepting responsibility was something he hadn't said to you yet - but at least, small steps.

"He say that?"

"Pretty much… doesn't seem like he's angry at you, but-but he's still angry."

"At the world?" You rolled your eyes; this seemed to be the same old Tom through and through. Still immature. Still not with the right mindset.

"At himself." Harry countered, slightly entertained, when he saw the flash of surprise in your face as he sipped his drink. "And me… if I dare to so much as breathe this week."

This time you properly laughed, and Harry joined in too before the room fell back to silence - except the noise of the rain hitting the garden patio slats. You swirled the tea round in your mug, feeling the brunette's eyes on you. He'd always been your fake little brother too, since you'd met the Hollands way back 3 and a half years ago. Tom and yourself were barely adults, which meant the twins were still proper children. Harry had always been the one that understood you. Hollands, by nature, loved humans - loved to talk, to chat, to gossip. But sometimes, doing all that socialising got too much for you, as it did for Harry. He was the only one that seemed to understand social exhaustion. So when those moments had hit, you'd kept each other company in silence.

He got you, sometimes in ways your own boyfriend didn't.

"You know why he got so worked up, right?" You shook your head, looking up curiously. "Dad got under his skin on his birthday zoom thing."

Ah, now that did seem to coincide with the start of Tom's more petulant phase. To be fair, Tom had been asking to move in together for near enough a year now - but it was only in the past month it seemed to be the only thing you'd talk about and obviously only three days since the flight back. Dom's birthday barely a week ago, whilst you and Tom were both filming - except Tom had managed to get a day off where you hadn't. So you hadn't heard this conversation.

"What'd he say?"

"Was talking about how he and mum were settling down at Toms age, joked about how you rejected him, said maybe you were holding out for something better."

"Something better?" Harry sighed, leaning forward onto his elbows.

"He'd seen an article just off a trashy tabloid… it named you Hollywood's golden girl or something, said you could have the pick of any person on the planet…"

Of all the people in the world, why is Tom affected by shit journalism? He knows how much bullshit people write. He knows how it's all made up, exaggerated nonsense. And what he should know, completely and totally, is how much you love him. And if he didn't, was that your fault? Had you done something wrong, something to make him doubt you?

Harry seemed to notice the internal dialogue going on in your head, adding to the point. "It wasn't the article though, it was the fact dad said it."

Hmmm.

You and Dom got on; it wasn't like you hated the possible future father in law or whatever. Just…. you had very different outlooks. As much as Tom prided himself on how' grounded his family keeps him' -to you at least, they aren't entirely at sea level either. They'd never really had any particular struggles in life. They were the definition of middle class, and that's about it. They lived in a posh suburb of London, had all their family still around. It was the perfect family.

And whilst you were in no illusions about how privileged your life was now. It hadn't always been. You'd never had the 'nuclear' family. Instead, only your dad and a string of dodgy and fleeting stepmothers while struggling to make ends meet. So you were just always wary of Dom, of his opinions that so often his boys took for gospel. They always seemed pretty sheltered and close-minded.

And yet, Tom was a grown man.

"I get that, I just… Tom should know that we know more about our relationship than his dad. I mean,… have I done something wrong? Made him think I'm not in this for the long haul?"

"No nonono Y/n he's just… well he's an idiot, isn't he? I don't think he properly understands why you're cautious about moving and everything. He's just an idio- "

Harry was cut off for lightly insulting his brother by the sound of the front door opening, both of your heads swivelling towards the source. You then met Harry's eyes in a panic, to which he replied relatively simply.

"Just talk to each other. For my sake." You would've argued if it weren't for the fact you were so focused on Tom's shuffling around in the entrance hallway - back early from his parents.

"Baz? Where you at? I thought I saw Y/n's car and-"

"Kitchen!!!" Before Tom could say anything else, possibly landing himself in more trouble, Harry interrupted as his chair screeched while standing up. And then Tom was just there. Standing in the doorway, his arms dropping limply to his side as he noticed you. Everything about that moment seemed to freeze, when you locked eyes with him for the first time in three days. It didn't go unnoticed, the way his Adams apple bobbed, the way his eyes widen. The boy looked plain and simply terrified.

It was Harry who broke the silence, after giving you a stern look that said 'stay'. The younger Holland boy walked up to Tom and spoke.

"Try actually talking and actually listening about your problems with each other." And then he was gone, down the hallway and up the stairs.

For a few moments, Tom stayed absolutely stationary, now staring at where Harry had been when speaking to the both of you (but mainly Tom). Long enough to put your sense of unease at an all-time high, ready to make a break for it.

"If you don't want to talk, then I can leav-"

"NO!" Apparently snapping out of it, Tom exclaimed loud enough to make you flinch from your seat. "Sorry! I-I just… I wasn't expecting to… you know, to see you."

"Yeh I just uh- just came to pick up some scripts… Harry cornered me with a tea, though; otherwise, I'd be…."

"Baz thinks the whole world could be fixed with tea."

"that's what I said!" You instinctively responded, forgetting the fact you're supposed to be mad at him, and just for a second falling back into your normal flow.

Tom didn't even try to hide his grin in response, until you quickly corrected your face- then he did too. Turning around to put the kettle on for himself. Because right now, he needed to fix his whole world, and he needed all the help he could get. For a period, the only noise was the sound of the kettle boiling, then the teaspoon clinking against the mug as he stirred - until he padded over, taking the seat across from you.

"So."

"So."

"It's been a while," Tom stated the bloody obvious.

"You never called."

"Didn't think you'd want me to."

You thought that the early signs weren't all that auspicious. His ability to read a situation once again failing.

"I wanted you to say something."

"Say what?"

"What do you think Tom?" He replied to the sarcastic tone by sucking in a sharp breath, holding it for a second, before slowly exhaling. As if trying to compose himself, take time to think of a response - a mature move for him.

"Well, I think you want me to say sorry? For being so moody and not waiting for you and for upsetting those kids. And thanks too, for covering for me?"

You just hummed. Waiting for him to continue. Because yes, you did deserve all those things. But you also deserved more. An apology for, oh I don't know, saying he didn't think you loved him? It was a wait that never ended, he had nothing more to add.

"Going by your face, I take it I missed something?"

The bloody cheek of it.

"Theres nothing else? Nothing else at all? …" You gave him that chance, the opportunity but all he could respond with was a shake of his head. "You thought I was fine about you saying that I don't love you?" You hadn't intended on raising your voice, but really you hadn't realised you did till after the fact. To blinded by rage at his ignorance.

"You want to talk about this now?"

"When else Tom?" You sighed, realising he perhaps wasn't ready for this conversation. Maybe he needed more time to think things through, have sense talked into him by various wiser family members. Or maybe, he never would be. That was the worst-case scenario. But also… you're most likely prediction.

He shuffled in his seat, clearing his voice but not saying anything. Not a peep.

"I have spent three years of my life with you. I've had countless nights of too little sleep because that was the only time you could facetime. I've exposed my relationship to the world and people's opinions because you didn't want to hide. All I've done is love you. How could you even say that?" There might've been tears in your eyes, yet you were determined to keep them at bay. You needed to have this out, one way or another, to be clear and cohesive and logical. No time to cry.

"Y/n I know that, I…" He sighed, instinctively reaching for your hand, but you were quicker to pull it away. There was hurt in his eyes, but so there should be. "It just sometimes feels like that's it for you. That yeh you love me but you just want to standstill. That this is as much as it'll ever be."

Your emotions were suddenly uncontainable. Your voice croaked as you whispered, "Have I done something wrong?"

"No love, nonono if that's how you feel then that's okay. But it's something I'm not… shit this is hard." He took a pause to take a sip of his drink, your glazed eyes never leaving his. "I don't think I can stand still anymore. And yeh I was pissy and childish the other day because my dad got under my skin about the whole moving in thing… But these past few days, it just has got me thinking. Because I love you, so much."

This time when he reached out to grab your hand, you actually leaned into it yourself. Not because you were giving in, but because this hurt. This hurt so fucking much that you needed something to ground you, or else god knows. Because the way he was speaking, it sounded so finite.

"I love you too."

"I do know, which is…is why this is so hard." At the very least, Tom had conceded that.

The conversation ceased to silence yet again. The room felt so cold; even Tom/Harry's hoodie was doing nothing to keep you from the endless empty cold that seemed to be coming from within.

"When I re-registered my health card last month, and I made you my emergency contact on it. I-I made you my next of kin on everything actually. I didn't think about it twice. And-and this-"You pulled your phone out of your back pocket, immediately pulling up the app onto the open page. "This is my Pinterest board for our baby's nursery theme. I know-" You paused, to quickly wipe your cheeks clear of the tear tracks that may or may not have been there. "I know it's probably a long way away, but I just love the Scandinavian theme." You laughed at yourself, suddenly embarrassed at your blabbering and quickly pulled up a different app. "And this… this was from the other week when I was helping Y/bf/n start her vows." Hands trembling as you turned the phone around for Tom to see again. "She was finding it really tricky so she said, what would you say to Tom on your wedding, so-so I made this list." You only dared to look at him when you were sure he'd be reading through that note.

It was bizarre because he looked… well, he looked happy. Here you were feeling traumatised, showing things that you'd barely even deeped how committed they were - and he was pleased? Feeling the fire burn once again inside of your chest, you quickly swiped the phone away and back into your pocket. Only then did he look up, eyes widening - presumably at quite how psychotic you looked.

"So don't you dare say that I don't want a future with you."

You said it with such force, there was a pause. Tom letting those words sink deep into his brain. The way his expression flickered minutely gave you hope. You thought he got it. You thought he really understood now.

"But why don't you want to move in then?"

There it was again. He knew why. But he didn't get it. And, probably, he never would.

You were about to crash completely. So you ran. As fast as your legs could carry you, not even aware of your chair crashing to the floor in your wake. You ran out of that house and away from him. Away from who you had thought was the love of your life.

?give tom a final chance w one last part?

feedback is always v v appreciated <3

tom taglist : @lovehollandy12 @hollandlover19 @thefernandasantana @hunnybunimdun @hallecarey1@cedricdiggorysimpp @msmimimerton @hollandfanficlove @pandaxnienke @crossyourpeter @thegirlwiththeimpala @tom-softie @sunwardsss @spiitfiiires @radcloudenthusiast @ladykxxx08

people i think might be interestd in this (sorry if not just let me know and i'll remove the tag!!!): @obiwanownsmyass @wildxwidow @parkersvogue @coffeewithoutcaffeine @tomhollandlol @thefallenbibliophilequote @clumsymandu @hiraethenthusiast @mannien @abrielleholland @evermorehabit @niallberry @greatpizzascissorstaco @runawayolives @annathesillyfriend @letsgotothemoonlight @lovelybarnes

[youryanderedaddy]

Hello, do you accept order? If yes, you could make a single one shot of Yandere! Brat Spoiled, please...

What would it be like if Yandere were the son of wealthy parents who always have everything they want, when they don't always get what they like, always act like a spoiled brat (and also his parents are afraid of their son, as they have already seen what he is capable of when he gets angry)... that's where the reader comes in. She is a new student at school, a nice and kind person, so the yandere knows her and falls in love so strongly that she never felt that way in life, but the reader is always rejecting her advances for being a spoiled brat and the way he treats the people around you.

What happens next?

Title: Eat the poor

Tw: non - consensual touching, obsessive/possessive behavior, violence, low-key bullying, blackmail / coercion, reader is in university

Part 2

It had started during your very first year of college, back when you still felt motivated to go to school and meet new people. You had heard the rumors about him before ever meeting his gaze and oh, did they disappoint.

You met Gabrielle for the first time when the snowdrops bloomed and the birds returned home – in the early autumn, at night, in a small crowded room reeking of alcohol, sweat and cheap cologne which you quickly realized wasn’t his. The man smelt like the cigarettes he never got bored of and sweet caramel. He was wearing a big leather jacket and a pair of dark jeans, yet the simplicity of the outfit seemed to suit the expensive brands displayed on the clothing. In a way the student represented the typical youthful boyish beauty with his golden locks, eyes the color of the sky and frame tall and well – built. Yet his face remained motionless the whole night and his body stayed still despite the mass of bodies dancing around in rhythm. But then some poor unfortunate fool managed to bump into the male, spilling his drink all over him, and his pretty face quickly twisted into a mask of disgust and anger.

“You stupid piece of shit!” The male yelled shortly after as his fist connected with the stuttering boy’s stomach. His clear eyes were now two wild thunderstorms pouring rain and lightning over the tipsy guy who was nervously apologizing and promising to pay for the damages done. “Do you know how much this costs?” Gabrielle spat with venom and pushed the other onto the floor, bringing his black sneakers to that white shirt until there was a mark of dirt formed on the otherwise clean fabric. Everyone else in the room had stopped drinking now and all the eyes were pinned onto the two men yet no one had the courage to do anything. Your own heart was beating hard in your chest at the sudden display of unnecessary violence but you had always been a calm kid, a kind soul too scared of its own shadow to learn how to fight properly. So you had no idea what to do.

“My father can have you expelled, you know.” The blond man suddenly spoke out in a quiet eerie voice as he pressed his foot harder into the shorter boy’s stomach causing him to whimper and squirm. “Unless you are willing to beg for my forgiveness, that is.” The bully proposed with a sly smirk on his pink lips as he glared at the victim underneath. The student on the ground was clenching his eyes tight so no one could see the tears in them when he shook his head no. You finally decided you couldn’t let this inhumane scene go any further.

“Stop this madness right now!” You shouted manically, drawing all the attention to yourself as you made your way between the two men. Gabrielle immediately pinned his burning gaze on you in unhidden intrigue. “This is too cruel. He didn’t mean to bump into you. Please, leave him alone.” As much as you had wanted to curse at the spoiled rich boy there was this suffocating feeling in your lungs telling you to be careful and play the mediator. The others quickly started gasping and some were already gossiping at your reaction proving your point that the guy was indeed dangerous.

Then he looked you straight in the eyes with his deep blue ones. He chuckled softly before smacking his lips in an unpleasant way, his “tsk” sending shivers down your spine. You had fucked up. “Well, well, well… Looks like the new girl wants to play hero. How cliché.” The bully grinned as he let his gaze roam up and down your body, your cheeks turning red in return when having realized he was handsome even while doing something so vulgar. “But if you do want to help him so badly…” The golden – haired man paused for a moment pretending to be deep in thought. “Maybe we could have a little deal, bunny.” He moved his leg away from the sobbing boy and stepped in front of you. From this close you could feel the warmth of his skin and the sweet aroma of burnt sugar it radiated. Gabrielle tilted your chin up almost gently and whispered in your ear “Kiss me.”

You tried to break free from the uncomfortable pose but the student simply squeezed your jaw line harder, his eyes cold and calculating, following your every move. You mind went blank and foggy at the forced intimacy and you couldn’t think straight with his breath on your neck. It felt like the time had slowed down just so the sadistic snob could mess with you a little longer. You opened your mouth to voice your protests but fortunately you didn’t have to say anything because at the very same time the host of the party appeared, ready to stop the fight.

“Gabrielle, I’d have to ask you to leave.” The dark – haired junior growled enraged as he pushed the taller male away from you. You couldn’t help but smile at him in appreciation. He was the only one brave enough to help you after all. “You are ruining the party for everyone. ” The stranger continued. The blonde seemed irritated at the sudden interruptance yet it was obvious he was powerless against the owner of the house. Still he grit his teeth and signed in annoyance as he turned to face the host. “Fuck you, Jackson!” The man cursed but eventually moved towards the door, red with anger. “My father will hear about this.” He looked at you as he reached for the golden doorknob, his features softened. “See you around, bunny.”

This was the first time you met Gabrielle. You already wished it was the last.

-------------------------------------------------------

After the incident the snob seemed interested in you, blatantly so. He would eye you up in the halls like you were a shiny new toy in a claw machine and try to strike a conversation no matter how much you ignored him. The man never once apologized for what happened at the party but at least he didn’t bring it up so you counted it as a small victory. You gradually understood just how much power and money the heir had. His father owned casinos, hotels, banks and apparently even the university you two were studying in received major monthly donations by the big businessman. This explained why everyone was so scared of the blonde, especially when he did nothing but flaunt his status at the slightest inconvenience. And now he wanted you.

In your eyes the boy was just an annoying brat who lived off daddy’s hard work, there really wasn’t much to him that intrigued you. The male was handsome, pretty even, but his grades were terrible and his interests were bland and shallow, mostly involving expensive brands and grand parties. But the worst thing about him was his personality. The snob treated his friends like servants and his enemies like dirt, but you he rather saw as a challenge. Gabrielle would ask you out every time you were unlucky enough to run into him. The first time the man gave you so many roses you couldn’t even count them, the second he demanded your affection with a silver necklace in hand ready to cover your neck in his mark of ownerships. You couldn’t recall all the other gifts the blonde used to try and court you with but you remembered refusing each and every one.

“Why can’t you just give me a chance?” He exclaimed one day after you had just returned the expensive bracelet you had found in your locker. It was a dark winter night and the heir seemed irritated with you for the first time, his eyes a deep electric blue just like the sky. The man had you cornered against the wall but you were used to his pathetic attempts at intimidation. Yet today there was something different in the air around him, some small voice at the back of your head wondered whether this time he wasn’t just joking around. “Are you still angry about that little wimp I expelled, bunny?” Gabrielle asked contemptuously yet his pupils remained cold and distant. Once again he was too close for your liking, too close for you to function properly, but that was probably exactly what he wanted. You to be compliant and obedient like all the others who crawled and kneeled at the very sight of him. “Or are you sulking because I beat up Jones after he asked you out, hmm?” What? The blonde man was the one who gave Tony the black eye? But he had told you it was just a street fight… Why had your friend covered for the bully you both hated?

“Why would you do that to him?” You whispered, staring at the twisted boy in front of you. Your heart was beating fast and your blood was boiling hot in your veins but you couldn’t let him win by showing him how much his actions affected you. Gabrielle reached out and cupped your cheek gently before smirking mischievously. “He was trying to take something that belonged to me.” The heir said casually as if he was talking about the weather. His fingers were cold against your warm skin and you fought the urge to vomit right then and there. “I am not yours.” You spat out with poison and pushed his hand away from your face. Next thing you know his knee was separating your thighs, lifting your short black skirt up, his breath lingering on your neck. “S-stop.” You stuttered and tried to squirm out of his hold but the man easily caught your wrists and brought them above your head, pinning you further into the wall. He was stronger than he looked and you felt so small and helpless in that moment you could have cried if your stubbornness hadn’t prevailed.

“What don’t you like about me?” The blonde suddenly spoke out, his voice unnaturally broken and needy, bordering on a whine, crying out in desperation. You weren’t sure whether he was trying to manipulate you now or if he actually wanted you to answer so you decided to be honest anyways. “I hate the way you treat other people. I could never love someone as cruel as you.” You inhaled deeply, ready to voice all the painful thoughts you had kept inside since the beginning of the semester. “You are spoilt rotten. Metaphorically and literally.” The man was breathing sharply like a wounded animal after hearing your words and as much as you wanted to sympathize with him, you couldn’t bring yourself to after everything he had done to you and your friends. He was irredeemable. “Let me go.” You finally demanded, hoping to use him weakened emotional state to your advantage.

Instead Gabrielle clenched his teeth and squeezed down harder on your already bruised wrists causing you to whimper in dull pain. His eyes were wet but the tears had finally stopped just like his willingness to show you his vulnerable side. The man had tried being nice and sweet to you, patient, then mean and patronizing, and neither worked. So obviously it was time to become the terrifying bratty monster everyone was so keen on believed he was.

“Have you noticed how many people seem to go missing after talking to you just once?” The heir whispered in your ear as his free hand traveled down to your waist, drawing you into his hard chest. You groaned at the sudden realization that the snob was actually right, less and less guys seemed to show up to your shared lectures in the last few months, but you had always assumed they just needed a break from school. University was stressful after all. “Did you…” You started off but couldn’t find the right words. Did you force your father to expel them? Did you harm them? Maybe a part of you didn’t want to know the answer. “I did.” Gabrielle responded before you could even finish the sentence. The sly smirk you knew way too well adorned his lips and it wasn’t hard to see he had already won. “And I will keep doing it until you agree to be mine and mine alone.” The man stated confidently as he sucked the sensitive skin of your neck until you arched your back in shock, your eyes rolling up to the ceiling. “N-nhgg.” You whimpered as you felt his teeth dig into your warm flesh leaving a scarlet mark for all to see. “Come on, baby, we both know you are too good to let them suffer because of your own selfishness.” He taunted you as he left a line of small wet kisses along your exposed collarbone. You wanted to argue, to yell at him how you weren’t the crazy, selfish one, but deep down you knew it was pointless. Gabrielle had power and you had nothing to bargain with. He could have anyone yet he wanted to torment you. “Give into me. I promise I can make you happy if you let me.” The blonde uttered softly as his lips brushed against yours, almost touching them, following your reaction with his clear eyes. Your own were puffy and red from the tears but he didn’t seem to care much about your misery and discomfort. The man wished to own, not to please, but you couldn’t do anything. And of course you wouldn’t let him ruin the lives of the innocent. Of course your stupid heart was too good and human for your own good. So you closed your eyes and slowly connected your lips with him even though they tasted almost metallic, like blood and defeat.

“I knew you would come around, bunny.”

[annie-blackhill]

I have the sudden urge to write a Dazai Osamu x reader angst, if you survive through this, you survive, if you don't may your heart rest in peace then...

Let the song play on repeat while you read...

If the World was Ending

Credits to the artist for the picture

________________

"Atsushi, go and get Dazai," Kunikida ordered the boy as soon as he entered the agency.

"Hai, Kunikida-san... but... Where is Dazai-san?" he asked.

"Try the graveyard, Atsushi," Fukuzawa, who had just exited his office had been the one to chime in.

"It's not even that date yet," Kunikida stated to Fukuzawa in confusion.

"Does he not have feelings, Kunikida?" was instead what Fukuzawa answered with before re-entering his office.

Atsushi left immediately after, not wanting to get yelled at by Kunikida.

As he walked to the graveyard, the conversation between the presidentand Kunikida repeated again and again in his head, he didn't understand at all what they had been talking about.

All he did manage to connect was that by "date" Kunikida must've meant "death date" as Dazai was currently in a graveyard.

When Atsushi finally did arrive at the graveyard, he saw Dazai sitting face to face with a gravestone and it looked like he was talking to it.

Unlike the last time Atsushi had to retrieve Dazai from the graveyard, this time he was at a different grave and just like the previous one, this one too was in a secluded yet beautiful spot under a sakura tree that was not too far away from the previous grave.

When Atsushi walked closer, he overheard the conversation Dazai was having witht he gravestone.

"Remember how we planned to have as many kids as we could because we both couldn't really decide how many we wanted?

I think we should just have five kids. And eldest son, three girls in the middle and a youngest son. That would be the best thing ever, don't you think, belladonna?

And remember the house we bought for after our marriage? I--- I'm sorry, love but I had to sell it away. I hope you're not angry at me. I don't want you to be angry at me.

I got you purple hyacinths this time, just like I always do. I'm sorry, love. I truly am. I should've saved you. I---" Dazai was cut off as a strong wind passed him blowing his jacket away from him slightly and pushing the hair on his forehead away.

And that was when Dazai felt himself choke as his throat felt thick suddenly. And the tears flowed.

His tears streamed done his face as he hung his head low, hair covering his face, keeping it hiding it from Atsushi, who Dazai had failed to notice.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry---" he repeated on and on and on again and again and over again, his voice choked more and more as he continued until his voice was reduced to muffled mumbles and chokes and sobs.

And Atsushi felt his own heart break in the process too. Tht was when he checked the name on the grave stone.

Dazai (Y/N)

And that was enough for Atsushi to understand who Dazai was visiting....

He was visiting his wife.

It greatly confused Atsushi as much as it broke him. His mentor was only 22, so when exactly did he get married to (Y/N)-san? When did Dazai fall in love with her? How long had Dazai been in love with her?

And suddenly, the Heavens released Hell and it mourned with them in the harshest way ever, hurting them, yet comforting them an yet also crying with them.

But it seemed that the rain comforted Dazai more than it hurted him, because Dazai's crying had stopped and he was left staring at the grave stone.

The bouquet of purple hyacinths now ruined and wet and torn apart, just like how his soul and heart was.

"Atsushi-kun? I fell in love with her when we were only 16, so young and yet so happy... I proposed to her when I was 19, happy and ready to go her the best life ever, as we had finally escaped from the mafia.

We were 20, so in love and happy. We had just registered our marriage. She was shot. She took the bullet that was meant to be mine. She couldn't use her ability because in the spur of the moment, I had grabbed her hand, my ability nullified her's and she took the bullet for me," Dazai sobbed at the end and the tears streamed yet again.

"She had the ability to control wind and the weather and she always loved the rain. Especially this type of rain. It soothed her to no end.

I remember her making only the sky above the Port Mafia base rain and Chuuya would be so annoyed but I know he enjoyed it as much as she and I did. We all loved the rain, it was soothing to listen to the sounds it made.

And I don't think it's a coincidence that every time I visit her grave, that it rais like the gates of Hell have just opened, because only this part of town is raining and the other parts are dry as can be.

I'd like to think that she makes it rain for me. For me to get up and leave. For me to remember her and celebrate the life she lived instead of mourning her death.

But I'm stupid. And stubborn. So she makes it rain harder until I leave but I don't... And then the rain lightens and it turn to a drizzle, because, my wife would never let me catch a cold when she's not around to take care of me," Dazai said, eyes full of tears that he was now keeping back instead of spilling.

"Atsushi-kun? What does it look like I'm doing right now to you?" Dazai asked.

"You're visiting a lover, Dazai-san," was all he replied.

And that was enough. That was enough for Dazai to feel his heart rip into a million of pieces because, even when Atsushi had said that he was visiting a lover, all he knew that he was visiting was a grave.

The grave of his one and only lover.

"Even if the world was ending, I'd forever be by your side, my love, I vow it on my heart, soul and whole being,"

His heart was now torn.

His soul was destroyed.

And his whole being was covered in scars from his attempts of joining her.

[kuronanox]

A new beginning - Ichigo Kurosaki

It was another raining day in Karakura town for Ichigo, life was moving by slowly. He was thankful because it made him feel less old than he really was. The shinigami work was slow because the young rookies did most of the work and the hollows weren't big threats to the town.  

It's been about 3 years since he had gotten into a divorce, when he heard that rukia had moved on with her life he decided maybe it was his turn also. It's not that Orihime was a bad wife it's just that the love wasn't there for him anymore. Of course he would always love her but not into the intimate way. He didn't take custody of kazui so his son lived with Orihime while he stayed back at the same place he grew up at. Although they both agreed there would be no bad blood between the two they both provide kazui with love and care.

Ichigo and Kazui were at the park when it started to poor cats and dogs outside, he remembered checking the weather and it was suppose to be sunny all day. He didn't bring an umbrella so they made a run for it and stopped by the nearest cafe to wait the storm out.

"Ichigo?" (Your Name) called out from behind the counter, he looks back with widen eyes to see an old friend. Someone he never expected to see. "(Your Name)." He says and smiles, it has been probably 8 or more years since she last saw him.

"I can't believe it's you!" She says and runs to give him a big hug. "What are you doing back in japan?!" He says with a big grin on his face as Kazui stares at his dad in confusion. He's never seen his dad hug a girl before besides his mother so the little boy looks at (Your Name) and takes in her features. She was medium height, and her hair was lightly curled with the light of the store shining on her hair she looked pretty. Kazui blushed as she then looks at him.

"Is this your son?" She asks happily and extends her hands out to grab the smaller ones. Kazui shyly hides behind Ichigo and Ichigo cooly just scratches the back of his head and nods. "Yeah this is my son."

"Oh! How's Orihime! I came back to japan 3 years ago and I lost everyone's contacts so I've been basically alone since." (Your Name) recalls as she seats them down and plates a few deserts for the two.

"Well, me and Orihime are no longer together." He says laughing to break the tension and looks at his son who was to busy throwing down the macaroons in his mouth to pay any attention. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that." She says smiling lightly so she could keep the atmosphere more light.

"Um well, it's nice to finally get to see you again!" (Your Name) says and takes a seat with the two. "This is my cafe by the way."

Ichigo takes a look at the surroundings, it was cute. He guessed this was her place because it brought him back to high school when they were really close. The place was artsy like she was.

"So you haven't seen anyone since you got back from America?" He starts the conversation again as she leans onto her elbows and nods.

"Yeah it's been so long, I decided to come back because I didn't like America as much as I thought I would. After you defeated ywach and everyone got married I decided to make a new life somewhere else but as years passed I didn't really meet anyone significant so I decided to come back to Japan."

Ichigo looks out the window and could only agree, he often wonder if he rushed into marriage or falling in love and wondering why it fell apart fast. "How's rukia? Still like her?" She jokingly asks whispering so the little boy next to them wouldn't hear.

"Oi shut it will you!" Ichigo sighs and rolls his eyes. "Don't lie! I miss her sometimes too."

(Your Name) smiles sadly and recalled when they were all so young. When Ichigo found out the Rukia and Renji were going to be wed he asked out Orihime. (Your Name) had fought side by side with them for the years that the world was threaten and never once she ever showed any interest on Ichigo because she knew that Orihime already claimed him hers so she stayed in the shadows and then the two got married so she left for a better life.

"How old is your son now?"

"He's 10, the little shit is growing fast." He smiles and ruffles the kids hair as (Your Name) smiles.

"I guess I've been gone for a long time."

"Yeah, I've miss you sometimes." Ichigo admitted as she looks at him. He was definitely older and more mature, the boyish haircut was gone now and he had very faint wrinkles around his eyes whenever he smiled.

"Me too. Sometimes I wish I didn't leave japan but I can't say that. I enjoyed America too."

They talked for hours till it was night and Kazui had fell asleep. "I can drive the two of you home, it's dark outside." She offered even though Ichigo refused a few times till he gave in and she closed the cafe down for the day.

"Still living at the same house? I forgot where it was."

"Yeah I'll show you the direction."

After the drive they bid a farewell. "(Your Name) can I have you new number?" He asks before she drove off. "Of course, here!"

He smiles and waved her off.

Overtime Ichigo would come visit the cafe and would just chill there. He would read there, study there or even help around when he was free. (Your Name) was happy she had some company, she missed everyone especially her friends in soul society.

It was a Friday afternoon and she was teaching Ichigo how to ice a cake. "I don't remember you good at baking back then?" He teased as he watched carefully and she rolled her eyes and threw some at him. "You know people change over time."

"I'm just saying!" He laughs as she carefully finishes the top and add the last bit of the topping. "So mister what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Have you changed?" She asks as Ichigo dumbfounded tilted his head and hesitantly tried to answer. He never really tried to think about it, has he changed over the year? Maybe his feelings have but him personally.

"My feelings have, but not really me." He answers blandly as she sets the cake in the fridge and makes her way to espresso machine to make a cup.

"I don't know, you seem like you changed to me. You seem less happy." She answers to him truthfully as he quietly stares at her and she gives him a small smile.

"Maybe we both are lonely but choose not to acknowledge the change."

Ichigo doesn't say a word and stares at her for a long time as she just keeps managing the business. "Well?" She asks him trying to hint that maybe it's time to move on from the past and move forward.

"I know how much it hurt when Rukia married Renji and when you basically decided to choose Orihime as your significant other without actually taking time to find out what you really wanna love, I'm not saying you don't love her but I'm saying the love is different." (Your Name) continues as she finishes the expresso off with some cream and powder.

"I guess kinda like me, I moved on from the past and came back stronger. Maybe that's what you need Ichigo, a fresh new start."

Ichigo sighs he was lost for words. Lost for words because she was right. After losing his powers for those two years he was miserable and after defeating ywach it felt like this was the last of his adventures and then everyone started to settle down and moving on.

"Yeah maybe you are right." He mumbles to her and she smiles and gives him a small hug. "You know I'm always here for you. Don't feel alone. I know I can't replace some stuff but I can help patch some pieces."

It had been several months after that conversation and he was learning how to heal himself and find self happiness and Ichigo was feeling lighter. On both their days they would go to the library and read poetry. Well Ichigo would try to analyze Shakespeares poem and (Your Name) would read besides him as they quietly enjoyed each other company.

A few times (Your Name) would go over and cook dinner for Ichigo since sometimes he would work late hours and forget about his meals. It was welcoming to see Yuzu, Karin and Isshin again. Today was different though, Isshin was off on a business trip and the twins were off to a friends sleep over.

"Are you sure it's okay? Wouldn't it be rude?" She asks Ichigo as they closed the cafe together and he nodded his head a big smile. "Yeah! Let's eat out tonight. You are always cooking, I guess this my way for treating you."

They picked a nice restaurant that served ramen because it was a cold night and she wanted something warm in her. As the months progressed she notice Ichigo was looking better and even talking more about himself since they were making up from all the lost time.

"How's Orihime?"

"Inoue? Awe her and Ishida are together!" He happily says and she smiles too. "Finally glasses dude told her his real feelings."

"That's great, I always knew he liked her."

"Yeah I told him to tell her actually." Ichigo sheepishly says and slurps up his ramen. "Really! Wow, so weird." (Your Name) laughs as Ichigo just laughs with her. "I won't let anything go in vain everyone deserves to be happy." He finally says.

After dinner they were going to part ways again but he grab her hands and asks for her to stay with him for the night. "U-um not like that." He says blushing like a High school boy, like he was 15 again. Ichigo thought she was going to refuse but surprisingly she agreed to.

"Yeah I'll stay."

After settling down for the night they sat on the couch side by side and scrolled through shows on tv. "Why is it so cold today." She says and shutters grabbing the blanket next to her. "Well we live pretty north." He answers as she rolls her eyes and lean into him for warmth. He hesitantly tensed up from the gesture but slowly loosen up and cuddled up next to her.

"Let's watch black clover."

"Sure, seems interesting." He answers her and she hums and watches in silence. Ichigo was so into the show that hours past by and he saw she was fast asleep under him.

"(Your Name)." He calls out and she turned the other way trying to get comfortable. Ichigo chuckles and picks her up before setting her down on the bed. "Good night."

The next morning she groans and covers her eyes from the shining light, it was still really early but the sound of birds woke her up and a heavy body next to her. Ichigo was sound asleep with his arm wrapped around her waist as she started to blush. "I feel like a teenager again." She mumbles as she study his facial features. Even after years passed by she still thought Ichigo was still handsome.

Ichigo eyes open as she yelps but he refrains her from leaving the bed. "Shh, it's so early." He mumbles in a deeper voice than normal and pulls her closer. "Ichigo, what are you doing?"

"I'm not stupid (Your Name) I'm making both our happiness come true." He sheepishly says and looks up to her. "W-What?"

"Rukia told me." He bluntly says and sits up the bed now. "Rukia? When? Where?" She says sadden that the smaller shinigami didn't visit her.

"A few months ago, she told me that you've loved me."

"Oh." She responds and looks down.

"I'm sorry, I guess I was to obsessed about what was going on I didn't notice that you were there for me, it's my fault. We've could have been together and you didn't have to move to America all by yourself."

"It's okay, you know stuff happens for a reason."

Ichigo smiles and pulls her in a embrace and hides his face in the neck. "Let's just start over. Both of us together. I don't mind."

(Your Name) looks up to his smiling face and also smiles

"I don't mind starting over either."

[metamorphicrocky]

Leather Jacket

y’all were so hyped over this headcanon earlier that I took the fic I was writing about the headcanon and completely rewrote it. some surprises are afoot, so beware of that fun stuff. enjoy!!

Little Cato is walking through a bustling market, his hand being held by someone else's. Tonight is much busier than he thought it would be, so he tightens his hold on the hand. Getting lost in this crowd would not be good.

"Can we get street meat?"

Little Cato laughs, glancing down at the hand he's holding. The little human girl is smiling up at him, and she starts swinging their hands back and forth.

"Yeah, of course we can," he says, leading her towards the least sketchy stand.

She points eagerly at the largest kebab he's ever seen, but he buys it for her anyways with the intent to eat the rest that she can't finish. It's, uh, definitely expensive. Now he understands how Gary must have felt whenever he asked for anything.

They continue to bounce around from stand to stand, Little Cato buying whatever they need for home. Once they've seen everything, he steers her back to his hovercycle. He packs up the groceries, makes sure the kid is secure so that she doesn't fall off and die on the way back, and then sets off for home.

The ride is calm, his kid hugging his torso with her little arms, the cool wind breezing and rustling the leaves. The sun is almost set, and the two moons are rising in tandem, one much larger than the other.

They get home safely, and they put the groceries away together. Little Cato is planning on starting on a random house chore when his hand is grabbed, and he's dragged outside by his girl.

"Stars! Cato, I wanna see 'em!" she insists, trying her hardest to drag him along as he slowly walks along.

He laughs. "Okay, okay, I'm coming, Grace."

They walk out to the clearest part of the property, and they sit down on the grass and stare at the night sky. The heart of a galaxy can be seen, and Grace has a giant smile on her face. The wind blows again, and it causes the girl to shiver.

Little Cato immediately takes off his leather jacket and wraps it around her shoulders. He laughs as it completely engulfs the child, swallowing her up whole. Grace quickly snuggles into its warmth, and she smiles up at him.

"Your jacket is really warm," she states.

Little Cato smiles fondly. "You know, this was your grandpa's."

Grace gasps dramatically and leans up towards him. "Papa Gary?!" she shouts excitedly. "Now you gotta tell me the story!"

"Oh, so now it's storytime? I thought you wanted to look at the stars?" Little Cato teases.

"Story! Story! Story!"

He laughs, ruffling her hair intensely. Grace laughs at it, swatting his hand away playfully. "So, our story starts not too long after Gary adopted me...."

----

Little Cato and Gary were walking around a festival during the fall, and it had been super fun so far. Well, until now. Mainly because Gary told Little Cato to grab a jacket since it would be cold, and he thought he could handle the weather. However, after about an hour, it was getting a bit too cold.

Okay, yeah, he was shivering. But he could handle it! He'd been through worse, a little chilly weather wouldn't stop him from having fun!

He was so caught up in trying to not be cold that he didn't notice that Gary had taken off his jacket until it hit him in the face.

Little Cato caught it and spluttered, staring at his dad in shock. "What was that for?"

Gary gestured to the jacket. "You didn't answer me, so now put it on."

"I don't—"

Gary leveled him with his dad look that said he wasn't going to argue about this, so Little Cato put it on with a huff and oh—

"It's so warm," Little Cato whispered, staring up at Gary in shock, his arms spread out at his sides.

His dad burst out laughing, doubling over and clutching at his stomach in pure amusement over the sight of the Ventrexian in the jacket. Little Cato looked at himself, and he could understand why his dad was curled up on the dirt in hysterics. The sleeves were dripping off of his hands, and the jacket went down to his knees.

He wanted to be mad, but the jacket was just so warm. But honestly, the longer Gary was rolling around on the ground for, the more attention was brought to him. To say the least, a lot of people saw him and were also very entertained by how the jacket engulfed him.

"Gary!" Little Cato whisper-yelled, starting to get a little bit embarrassed.

His dad stood up finally, still laughing. He wiped away a few tears, and he started to calm it down to only giggles.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry, it's just...so big on you." Gary tried to stifle a laugh, and he took out his phone to take a picture of a disgruntled Little Cato. "It's so cute!"

Little Cato tried to hide a smile while he started to struggle to roll up the sleeves because the other sleeve would get in the way, so Gary knelt down and did it for him. That definitely did not ease the embarrassment of looking like a little kid, but it didn't really matter when he thought about how nice the jacket was. No wonder Gary never took it off.

Gary ruffled his hair when he was done. "Isn't it much better to be warm?"

The kid nodded, then laughed excitedly as Gary swung him up unexpectedly onto his back in a piggyback ride.

----

That day on, Little Cato knew how comfortable and comforting that jacket could be. The first time he stole it, he was upset over something, and Gary was busy doing something that Little Cato didn't want to interrupt. Those were the days when he was still worried about bothering his dad with his problems.

The Ventrexian was just wandering the Crimson Light, rubbing away at tears, when he noticed the jacket just lying on the back of a chair. He grabbed it instantly and put it on. The scent of Gary that was on the jacket, an odd mix of metal and mechanical grease, comforted him, so he just curled up in an empty closet and cried until Gary found him later.

If he had been surprised about the kid wearing his jacket, he didn't show it because he was mainly concerned about how Little Cato was upset.

After this, Little Cato realized just how much he liked the jacket. One, it looked cool. Two, it was warm. And three, it reminded him of Gary, which made a lot of sense seeing as how it was his jacket.

So, the kid made it a habit to steal it whenever he wanted it. At first the habit was manageable, where he would only take it if he was upset or cold. But the longer it went on, the more he wanted to wear it. It was so frequent that he would take it that Gary actually grounded him once for taking it and refusing to give it back when his dad had to go out to do something important. His dad didn't mind that he liked to wear it, but it did take a stern conversation for Little Cato to agree to relinquish the jacket back to its owner when Gary wanted it.

Little Cato missed it when he didn't have it, so he bought the first leather jacket he could find. It wasn't the same at all, and he hated it. Turned out that he didn't just love it because it was a cool-looking jacket, but because it was Gary's.

As he grew up, he grew into it. When he was just about to turn sixteen, he mostly fit into it. He was a bit skinnier than his dad, who had bulked up a bit over the years, but it still fit. But as he grew older, he felt that he couldn't keep taking a jacket like some scared kid. Little Cato kept doing it, but the odd guilt was there every time.

His sixteenth birthday rolled around, and his friends and family all came for a party that Gary put together. It wasn't that many people, but it was still nice. He was given so many presents, and he loved all of them. Honestly, Gary gave him way too many, but they were all amazing, especially the hovercycle, even though it was old and beat up.

"Wow, thank you all so much. This was like, way too much," Little Cato said, pushing his unstyled hair away from his eyes.

Gary put a hand on his shoulder and smiled fondly. "There's one last gift, little buddy."

Little Cato spun towards his dad in shock. "Seriously? You did not have to do all of this."

Gary just smiled brighter, how that was possible Little Cato didn't know, but it was the most fond and proud smile he had ever seen on the man's face. His dad just took his jacket off and carefully held it out to his boy.

Little Cato was confused. "Is the present...in your pocket?"

His dad laughed quietly. "Spidercat, say hello to your new jacket."

Holy shit. Little Cato's jaw dropped to the floor, and he shook his head in disbelief. This was not real. This was not happening right now.

"But Dad, that's your jacket. You can't just...give it to me!"

His dad just walked closer to him, still holding the jacket out in front of him. "Yes I can, kiddo. It's yours. Ever since you started stealing it, I've been planning on giving it to you when you actually fit in it." Gary laughed again. "Now come on, put it on before my arm falls off."

Gently, Little Cato took it out of Gary's hands. He just stared at it in awe for a moment even though he had literally worn it thousands of times. Slowly, he slipped his arms in the sleeves, then spread his arms out to see how it felt.

Gary smirked teasingly. "Damn, I think I might have gotten the wrong size." The people around him laughed. "It's fine though, you'll grow into it. How does it feel, bud?"

Little Cato stayed silent, just continuing to stare at his dad in surprise. Gary's smile fell the longer he stayed quiet, but then his expression turned concerned, making him quickly cross the short distance between them.

He placed his hand on his kid's cheek and wiped away tears that Little Cato didn't realize were there. "Hey, what's wrong?" Gary gently asked.

The Ventrexian shook his head. "Nothing," he said, his voice choked up from the tears. "It's perfect. It's really, really perfect."

He smiled wetly as he continued to cry, but then he pulled his dad into the strongest hug ever, burying his face into Gary's shoulder. Gary hugged back just as strongly, one hand rubbing his back and the other carding through the fur on the back of his head.

"Thank you so much," Little Cato cried. "I love it."

Gary pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I'm glad, buddy. I don't know what I would have done if you didn't."

Little Cato laughed, pulling away slightly to look his dad in the eyes. Oh great, he got Gary to start crying, too.

"I love you, Dad. This is the best present I'll probably ever get."

"I love you, too, kiddo." Gary smiled fondly and wiped away his tears. "Come on, now it's time for cake."

----

Grace laughs, leaning into Little Cato's side to stifle her very adorable giggles.

"Papa Gary was being silly if he thought you would hate it," she stated firmly.

Little Cato laughs, but it quickly turns into a frown.

"Actually, there was a time after that where I hated the jacket," he says sadly. "And Papa Gary."

Grace's face falls, and she quickly holds his hand for support. "Why?" Her voice isn't judging, just concerned over why he would hate someone he has only talked fondly about.

He sighs and looks up at the twinkling stars.

"Because he died."

----

It had been a week since the final battle with Invictus. Little Cato had just woken up after sobbing himself to sleep in his grief. He didn't want to get up. He picked up his phone and looked at the time to see that it was the middle of the night. He continued to just stare at the time, but his eyes caught on his lockscreen.

The tears came back full force, his hand beginning to shake over the picture Quinn took of him and his dad wrestling on the beach. Giant grins adorned both of their faces, both of them were soaking wet, but it had been such a nice day. He remembered that Gary had accidentally thrown a frisbee right into another dad's face, and the fight that followed was the funniest thing he had ever seen.

A choked up laugh escaped his lips at the memory, and he began sobbing in full force again. He was glad that the lights were off so that he wouldn't be forced to look at every piece of his dad around the room. He clutched onto Gary's leather jacket like it was his only lifeline, but it really was. One of the last intentional pieces of himself that he had left behind in his death.

Little Cato punched the wall next to him, his chest heaving as he cried out what little bit of his soul was left.

His door opened suddenly, light flooding in from the hallway, illuminating the pictures, posters, and items around his room that screamed Gary at him, painfully reminding him that his dad left him behind.

Little Cato miserably looked up from his pillow to see Quinn standing in the doorway, a glass of water in her hand. He didn't say anything, so she came into the room and sat on the edge of his bed.

"Drink," she ordered, shoving the glass into his hands. He just stared at it with dead eyes, so she repeated herself, "Drink it."

Little Cato pushed himself into a sitting position and drank the glass, slamming it onto his table when it was empty.

"Come and get something to eat," she said quietly.

He shook his head. "Not hungry," he rasped. He hadn't done anything except cry and scream for days.

Quinn closed her eyes, clearly trying to compose herself. "You know that he would want you to eat."

Anger sparked inside Little Cato, and he spat, "What he would have wanted doesn't matter."

"Come on, don't say things like that," she said quietly.

"He left me after he promised not to." His hand curled into a shaking fist around the leather jacket. "I hate him."

"Little Cato!" Quinn exclaimed, grabbing his shoulders. "You don't mean that and you know it."

What he was feeling wasn't anger, it was pure fury and rage. "You two talked about him doing that. You knew that he was gonna die, so you said your goodbyes. But I didn't!"

"Little—!"

"No!" he yelled, his other emotions finally coming out. "He looked me right in the eyes and said, 'I promise not to sacrifice myself for you.' He lied to me because I don't see him here right now! I trusted him like a stupid fucking kid, but all he did was give me false hope and leave me alone to pick up the pieces!"

He was seething now, his chest rising and falling rapidly as more tears poured down his face, hot and angry.

Quinn stayed silent, tears of her own pooling in her eyes. She grabbed his hands and held them in her own, forcing his attention on her. "The only reason he did that is because he loves you so much, you have to know that. He couldn't stand to see you get hurt," she pleaded with him.

Little Cato moaned, another sob breaking through. "If he loved me, then he would have known that him dying is what would hurt me the most."

The Ventrexian huffed, choking on another sob. "You loved him, too. How are you not mad that he would do that?"

"Oh, kiddo," Quinn sighed, placing a hand on Little Cato's cheek. "I'm more pissed than you, and your dad knew it. I made sure to tell him that I would never forgive him if he did this, and he was fine with it if it meant he finally got true closure in ending Invictus himself."

He sniffed, leaning into Quinn's hand. "Why was he fine with hurting us?"

"You can't have love without hurt, cookie cat." She smiled sadly at him, then stood up. "Get some actual rest, and maybe it'll make more sense in the morning."

She left without another word, shutting the door behind her. He did sleep, but it never made more sense. After several funeral services, after so much crying, and after absolutely everything, Little Cato still hated him.

The now young adult had been putting away every item that screamed Gary at him into boxes, hiding them in the attic to never look at them again. His room had basically been gutted, there was so much. Finally today, everything had been removed. Quinn didn't approve, but she didn't understand how betrayed he felt either.

Little Cato sighed heavily, and his eyes caught on one last item...his dad's leather jacket. He grabbed it off of his bed and held it up to the window, the light of the setting sun surrounding it in a beautiful halo. His hands shook, his knuckles tightening in the material.

This...this was the last link to his dad. The dad who left him, knowing that this was the only thing that couldn't happen....

He was going to burn it.

Little Cato quickly put it on, grabbing a lighter on his way to the garage. He slammed the door open, and he jumped onto his hovercycle, taking off into the approaching night. There was a cliff nearby where Gary would take him on occasion, and it was perfect for burning things to lose them for eternity.

In the back of his mind, he noticed how pretty the purple and red and orange of the sunset blended into the dark sky, stars he used to explore glistening in the cloudless sky. No, he shouldn't think about that part of his life, it would only make this worse. He sped up, trying to outrace his thoughts.

Soon enough, Little Cato slowed his bike, coming to a stop a little bit away from the edge of the cliff. He stepped off and walked to the edge, having a direct line of sight to the setting sun.

He gently took the jacket off, holding it out in front of himself like he did when it was first given to him.

The boy sighed, dropping his head back to stare at the sky above him. "I said that this was the best gift ever, but it isn't. It was you, Dad."

He took in a deep breath, closing his eyes. And then he opened them, and glared at the jacket in front of him. "But that was before, and this is now!" Little Cato shouted, whipping out the lighter and flicking it on, holding it to the edge of the coat.

The flames licked at the leather jacket that didn't even smell like its original owner anymore, slowly burning away his only remaining attachment to his dad. He watched the flames catch on the jacket, so he set it down on the ground and watched.

Well, he would have, if he hadn't noticed a piece of paper sticking out of one of the pockets. He plucked it before the fire could consume it, his curiosity getting the better of him. It was a note in his dad's handwriting, simply saying "treehouse."

"Oh fuck," he whispered.

Immediately he burst into action, stomping furiously on the jacket to put out the flames. Thank god that he had only burned a small area on the bottom, otherwise he would feel even worse than he already did.

The boy picked the jacket up and slipped it on, his tears quickly making themselves known. He crashed to his knees and wrapped his arms around his torso, feeling the regret come on strong.

"Buddy, did I ever tell you that I burned down my house?" Gary asked randomly one day while they were playing cards.

Little Cato dropped his deck of cards, staring at him in shock and confusion. "What the hell?! No, you absolutely did not tell me this, and now I need to know every detail."

Gary laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. "After my dad died, I stayed in our house alone for a long time. The longer I stayed there, the more angry I got over my whole...situation. I was kind of an idiot, and also like twelve, so I thought the best way to leave it all behind was to burn the bridges. Well, house and treehouse, in this example."

The kid frowned, swinging himself over to sit next to Gary in the booth. His dad looked down at him and smiled sadly, ruffling his hair gently.

"Truth? I didn't regret it until a few days after I adopted you," he admitted quietly.

"Why?" Little Cato questioned, genuinely curious.

"I don't have anything to pass down to you that means something to me. If the Earth was still around, I would have loved to show you my treehouse. That's where all the memories were," Gary finished softly, smiling at him with a fond and loving expression, only to slap down a winning hand of cards with a laugh.

"Fuck you, Dad," Little Cato laughed, watching his tears drip down onto the hard ground. "You're still being you even when I'm alone."

He sat up, letting his silent tears continue as the sun finally dipped below the horizon, only the constellations providing light to see the last etched words of his dad.

Wasn't that a fitting closure.

----

Grace hugs him around the waist, and he hugs her back.

"Do you miss him?"

Her eyes are staring right into his soul, and he knows that he would give up everything for those eyes to see the universe. He didn't understand why his dad did what he did until he experienced it himself, but it makes so much sense now.

"Every day, kid." Little Cato cards a hand through her short hair idly.

"He must love you a lot," she states with the utmost confidence. He quirks a confused eyebrow at her, prompting her to explain. "Well, he gave you this! It might've been a jacket to him, but you loved it so he gave it to you because he loves you!"

Little Cato sits there in surprise over how smart of a girl he has, and he laughs warmly.

"You are absolutely right," he praises, hugging her tighter.

"Spidercat, you didn't tell me my granddaughter was a genius."

Little Cato and Grace turn around so quickly that he doesn't know how they don't get whiplash, and they're met with the sight of a tall blond figure whose arms are open wide, waiting for a hug.

"Dad," Little Cato whispers at the same time Grace screeches, "Papa Gary!"

She leaps up and sprints towards Gary, jumping into his awaiting arms. Gary hasn't seen that particular move in several years, but he catches her flawlessly and spins her around, laughing the whole time. His dad plants a giant kiss onto her cheek, and she giggles the whole time.

Little Cato stands up as Gary gets a proper hold on the girl, holding her on his hip.

"You didn't tell me I was gonna meet him today!" Grace yells excitedly.

Little Cato shakes his head and gives his dad a look. "I didn't know either, don't blame me!"

"I'm gonna put you down for a second, sweetheart. I gotta hug your dad to death," Gary whispers loudly, acting like it was some big secret. She nods eagerly, jumping down and to the side, looking excited just to watch them interact.

"Um, hey, Dad," Little Cato says, seeing Mooncake greet Grace out of the corner of his eye.

His dad's smile softens into a look that he has learned is only reserved for him, and it makes his heart melt. Neither of them waste anymore time, so they wrap their arms around each other tightly. They both sigh contently at the same exact moment, and Gary plants a quick kiss to his forehead.

After a good minute or two, his dad pulls away to look him up and down, then he smirks. "Have you grown since the last time I saw you?"

Little Cato rolls his eyes even though his smile is so wide that it almost hurts. "Dad, come on. You lost that right years ago."

Gary laughs, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and ruffling his hair. They watch Grace chase Mooncake around happily, the leather jacket swallowing her up whole and most definitely slowing her down, but she doesn't care.

"You gotta stop making it sound like I'm dead in that story," Gary reprimands lightly.

Little Cato scoffs. "Well, I didn't know that you had gotten misplaced time-wise at that moment, so neither can the audience."

Grace rushes up to them, hair a mess, Mooncake in her arms. "He's so squishy!"

Little Cato pets Mooncake happily and nods. "Yeah, but don't squish him too hard, he won't like it."

She lets go of Mooncake and smiles up at Little Cato, her arms up. He picks her up and launches her upwards, causing her to screech excitedly, and he catches her and puts her up on his shoulders with ease. Grace bends down to stare at him upside down, and they blow raspberries at each other, making each other laugh.

Little Cato glances over to his dad to see tears shining in his eyes, but then his vision is blocked by the arms of the leather jacket. They all laugh, and everything feels right when his dad high-fives his kid and smiles proudly at him.

[kimtaetae16ii]

STORY OF US - DONGHYUCK LEE

Synopsis : in which the elderly knew about your hidden relationship and make you guys broke apart and at the end he came back to fix it all while you were struggling with depression

Warnings : mental illness, mental abuse, violent, light-smut,using curse words alots, easy English grammar XP too cringy, too clingy, might cause frustration

Pairing : Donghyuck x reader (n ur name is Jeannie Pwark)

A/n : this is my first fanfiction of him ever! So yeah those senpai who sees mistakes in my writing do chat me about tht .

_________________________________________

You and Donghyuck had been in relationship for almost 2 years. You were homeschooled back then so did he too. Both of you got same teacher for English subject even for different places. So, to make it easy, the teacher made group chat on WhatsApp so that if anything inconvenient happened she will inform you guys through there. There's many students in there too but Donghyuck attracted your attention. You were the one who started the conversation with him.

He, in the first place actually  dislike you for being too friendly with him and others. He used to hate you too. He hate you for nothing. He thought that you were friendly bitch of no where. Also he was being insecure because he afraid you might be a gold digger to dig all of his family's assets all away. But then, you've proven to him that you are an angel with pure heart so you just being kind towards him until he finally fell on you. Your first-sight crush finally fell on you.

You both lived in rich residents as your father is working as successful businessman while your mother is a successful lawyer in the city of Seoul. Then, both of his parents work in their own business that the profit so fucking higher than Trumph.

done throwback session.

[ Saturday, 1:37 a.m.]

You couldn't close your eyes yet as you already drove in long 9 hours sleep in the late evening. Then you woke at 9 p.m. It just after you woke up, you receive 16 missed calls from him andthe spamming chat is uncountable. Then, you guys been in an arguments which caused he was being mad while you were being sulking.

The clock showed it was almost 2 a.m. and you still cannot close your eyes. The feelings are coming. You want him. You want him to sing you to sleep with his angelic voice. You want his warmth body heated your body so you won't get cold while sleeping in air-conditioner.

then, with feeling guilty you tapped on the number on the light screen after that you pressed the phone on your left ear. hoping he would not be mad at your anymore.

after 30 seconds, he finally picked your call.

"what's the matter now. You disturb my sleep"

his words really hurt your feelings like he unwilingly to answer your phone call but he did anyway.

Donghyuck is not a person who sleep early actually. He's been an owl just want to make sure you are the one who get beauty sleep before him.

"I cannot sleep. will you come over? please ~" you begged him because this is the way for both of you to be peace once again. You need him.

you've heard he sighed.

"i've told you for countless time to not sleep in the late evening or else this will happen. Y/n , you really need good health."

that's why i'm asking you to come over so that my depression will be cured.

"okay. i won't disturb. just continue to sleep. sorry." you end the calls made decision to throw the phone away onto the hard floor.

you hate yourself like the way he used to hate you. you knew who you are. you know how annoying you are how much burden you gave to people surround you especially your family. and because of that, you less attention from them. that's why you need haechan. he's right person to be but not right for you.

You curled up while sitting while buried your face in your lap. Tears finally streaming down on your cheeks.

i hate me. i want to die so bad.

you felt sorry for Haechan to waste his time just for you. you give him nothing in return.

you've been crying so bad that make your body shaking while you mumbling all curse words about how bad you want to die.

Suddenly, you felt hands brushed your hairs from back. When you lifted your face, you saw your precious boyfriend right in front of you. your heart ache but in the same it healed when he pulled you into his arms.

"Haechan-ah~" you called him.

"yes, sweetheart" he replied while pat your back softly like you're a new born baby.

"you still mad at me ?" you broke the hug and faced him looked into his shining eyes.

"Sweetheart, we're good now. do not be overthinking , okay. You'll be fine." he pulled you into hug again then he sang you to sleep.

You fell asleep in his neck then, he changed the position. He laid you down carefully place your head on the soft pillow then he laid next to you.

" sleep tight, Lee's "

[Saturday, 6:40 a.m.]

At the time you woke up, you were left with his fresh cologne on your bed sheets. Your morning felt so good.

you pressed the circled button of your iPhone , then you noticed he leaved you mesage in your personal chatroom saying

'sweetheart, i'm going home. Have a great journey to your grandmother house. XOXO '- 5.35 a.m.

You got big smiled there. You changed the position to sit then after few minutes, you went into the bathroom to wash yourself.

Then, after you already settle up yourself, you went the downstairs and enter the kitchen to get breakfast.

then your 7 years old greeted you.

"hey y/n, i saw man walking out from your room when i want to go to toilet this morning."

you hurriedly cover your little sister's mouth before anybody in this house heard her wrods.

"shhh . don't tell mama"

"mama was with me."

loud of laugh then.

_________________________________________

The way to your grandmother's house was very tiring even you were not the one who drive the car but like you've been stopped at rest area so often plus the weather was very hot for you.

Once you arrived at your grandmother's house, you guys were greeted by the the maids. Then they lead you to the living room. There, finally you met your grandma.

"Heeeyyy ,Oh My granddaughters! Miss both of you so bad !"

Grandma opened her arms as she welcomed us to hug her so we running along until we got into her hug. She kissed our top of head also our cheeks.

"How you've been, Nana?" I asked her while sitting next to her on the couch that made by  animal's skin.

"I'm great!  I just missed you guys so so much!

Kyaa~ Haneul yah!  Why don't you often bring them here? You also didn't always visit me. You know I've been so lonely after the death of your father! "

Mama fixed her hairbun prepared herself to answer Nana's question.

"I'm sorry, Ma. I'm just busy with all my clients-"

"Fuck your clients!  Your mother is more important!"

"Ma, don't be like that. I promise you to visit you as often as needed after all of the cases settled up at the court."

"I don't care. I made decision."

"What decision, Nana? " I, hugged her right arms, looked into her eyes.

She looked at me for second then she turned to face mama back.

"I want both of my grandchild to stay with me"

My heart dropped down-

but my little sister cheered up as she like to be with nana just because nana fulfill her needs.

"Kyaa~" I pushed little bit her head bit getting scolded by my father.

"Park Jeannie!"

"Ma, but Jeannie would enter her university so soon. Also Jane gonna have her first homeschool session." My father suddenly exist in that situation.

"I insist. She can took over the chocolate company after she get her training months."

I saw fire in Nana's eyes. So did my parents too.

Yeah. Even they don't mind about me a lot but they seems won't lose me. like I stil need home cause it's not faraway from haechan.

"Nana-"

"Okay! Let's have our special meals!" She cut me deliberately.

"Yeaayyy.  Nana did you make my favourite Sandwich?"

"Of course, honeybun! Now let's go all of you."

-

At night.

"Fuck. I hate this." You groaned alone on the bed thinking how you would be without seeing your boyfriend for not a single day also after you moved into your grandmother's house soon.

You looked up at the white flower decorated ceiling and that things still wandered in your mind.

You didn't get any phone call from him yet for today. He has been busy with his schedule of being an idol.

He always available at middle of the night.

You turned on the screen then got into your personal chatroom with him.

Babe, I have something to say. Really important.

Sent, 12:32 a.m.

You only got one tick from him. So you just decided to go to sleep even you didnt use to sleep at early bed.

[1:40 a.m.]

You can felt something was vibrating in your hand as you held your phone while you drove to sleep. That's make you woke up in the middle of the night.

Without seeing whose the caller, you answered just like that.

"Heelo sweetheart. Already asleep."

"I can't sleep unless I heard your voices, you know."

"Awwwwww~ so sweet talker."

"Shut up. How was your day during the show?"

"So tired but not full enjoyed."

The atmosphere suddenly turned into serious.

"Whyy babe, are you sick while performing?" You were afraid as he worked too hard just to present great performance to gis beloved fans.

"No. I'm not sick. I'm fine thank you."

"Then what?"

"I'm not enjoy it much as you're not here watching my performance with the members."

You dumbfounded.

"Are you serious, bang-chan?"

Bang-chan means side dishes in Korean.

"Hahahahahaha" you heard him laughed so loudly. You just brought that up again because you watched one of the vlive that Jeno called him Bang-chan when he introduced himself.

Then, you also laughed but not that as hard-core as him.

"Are you done, baby?" You asked him after you heard silent voices.

"N-no" his giggles still there.

"Hahahh, i want to see you so bad right now. But i cant As the network is not giving cooperation with me. So, yeah~ "

"So, you feel like you want to go home?" He asked.

"Yes of course. Home is everything." You looked out the glass window. Spontaneous thought came in.

"Am I your everything too?" He snapped you out by his question.

It took several seconds to reply that.

"Lee donghyuck, you are my last destiny after the world end its life."

"Wahh~" at the end of his word, his soothing voice made you melt.

"Go to sleep now , babe. You tired i know that."

"Love you 3000" you added.

"Love you for infinity numbers."

And that amde you laughed.

"Bye. Have a nice sleep, haechan."

"Okay ."

You end up the call. After that you directly close your eyes and drove to sleep.

A/n : I can't add some more parts as it hit the max length. Tf. If it hit 10 likes, I'll post more ♡♡♡

[plainwaffleswithicecream]

Meeting Again | Astro Cha Eun Woo

A/N : I recently watched "My id is Gangnam Beauty" and fell in love with eunwoo !! hes one of the most handsome idols I have ever seen and i couldn't help to write an imagine. So sorry if the story seemed rushed because I don't want you guys to read really long for an imagine heh idk if that makes sense

Genre : Angsty/Fluff

*your pov*

11.30pm

"Cha Eunwoo, where are you? Why aren't you picking up my calls or replying my texts? Can you please reply?"

I just stared at my screen. That was the last text message I sent to Eunwoo 3 years ago. He has gone missing for that long. I miss him so badly. I want him to come back and be with me. We were together as a couple happily. I never imagined myself to lose him. I asked all his friends where he went but they said Eunwoo was unable to contact as well. I was devastated and felt like as if the whole world was collapsing. As days went by, I started to accept the fact that he is not by my side anymore...but I still wonder where did he go. My eyelids were getting heavy. I have an internship at 8am the next day, I should sleep. I thought to myself.

6.00am

"Ringggg" my alarm went and I opened my eyes slowly. It was finally friday. The sun has yet to rise. I went to wash up and decided I should head out for breakfast. I wore a simple white tshirt and black culottes. I brought my denim jacket as well and put on my sneakers and headed out. I put on some light makeup and brush my hair straight. I walked along the streets and wondered what should I eat. I had limited choices since it was still early. I decided to go to a ramen restaurant since I was craving for some noodles and hot soup and the weather was rather chilly that day as well. As I sat down, I saw a really tall man entering the restaurant. I didn't know someone else would also come to eat here this early though. He was wearing a mask and a cap so I couldn't see his face clearly.

My ramen came and it was really warm. It felt so heartwarming. I always went to a convenience store to buy ramen since I can't cook well. The owner of this ramen restaurant is a pretty old grandmother. I have been eating from this restaurant for the past two years especially when I feel sick or when I get hangovers. Yes I do party at times to forget about Eunwoo. But today, I was just craving for a bowl of ramen in this cold weather. After I finished my ramen, I went to the counter to pay and left to my intern company.

After a long day of work, I was finally able to go home. Before that, I decided to go to the nearby park to take a walk and take in some fresh air. There was a small river and I always liked to sit on the rocks on the sides and think about life. I always come here whenever I felt stressed or when I was missing Eunwoo. I always threw stones and watch it skip across the water. It has always been a great stress reliever. Hardly anyones comes to this park at night as well so it was kinda all to myself. After an hour or so, I decided to get up and go home. As I walked, I heard someone walking behind me. I didn't dare to look back as I was really scared. Suddenly, the person called out "Y/N!"

I turned around fearfully and apparently it was the same man from the ramen restaurant earlier on. He pulled down his mask and removed his cap. I couldn't believe my eyes. After 3 years, he finally appeared. Questions started flooding in my mind. Why did he only appear now? What exactly happened to him? He started to walk towards me. My eyes started to tear without me knowing. He stopped his tracks right in front of me. I looked up at him and asked "Where have you been? Do you know how much I miss you?" Within a second, he hugged me and whispered, "mianhae" I sobbed in his arms and hugged him tighter than I have ever did to anyone. After a while, I pulled away. I stared at him, as if waiting for an answer.

He finally spoke and said "I'm sorry for leaving you. My parents wanted me to leave Korea and go to Australia to study. I never had a chance to tell you because you always seemed so happy with me and I couldn't bear to make you sad. I want you to remember the happy memories we made and forget me when I leave. I thought I could forget you too but I couldn't. I was missing you day and night and I told myself I will come back to find you when I finished studying. I missed you Y/N" He kissed me right after he finished what he said. I was in shock but I returned his kiss after a moment. I miss his lips and presence. We pulled away to catch our breath and made eye contact for a few seconds. This time, I initiated the kiss and it was with more passion. I was glad he was back and I wanted to savour every moment with him. I was out of breath again and pulled away once more.

"Where do you stay now?"

"I live at the hotel a few streets down this river since I just got back to find you. Wae?"

"Do you want..to come over my house and stay for the night? I mean...it's getting late its not safe for you"

"Ani, it's more dangerous for you as a girl and sure I wouldn't mind staying over at my girlfriend's house."

I nudged him and replied playfully, "Ya we just met again who's your girlfriend hmph"

He kissed your cheek and said "You are the one" and held your waist with his arm and smirked. You felt really blessed now that Eunwoo is back and everything can finally go back to be the same.

[sweetescapeastrid]

August 8, 2021 - House Renovation

I just realized it has been more than a week since I started this journal. 5 days already passed since my last entry. Haha! I've been busy these days and I think that helped me somehow. I have a new project here in the house. It's not yet done but we're getting there.

I hope I remind myself always that I should stop renovating this house as I am not sure if this will be mine or if ever I'll get evicted in the future. But I like seeing our old level up even on the smallest things.

This house used to be our social status back in the days because it's big. However, as time passes by, it was never renovated. So it looks old and not that clean now. Since it's also a big house, the maintenance is not easy. This was last renovated by my Mom so I am really pissed to an Uncle who wants this land for him and his family. When in fact, they don't have any contribution on this and they have the audacity to think of that.

I am somehow mature enough. But still, I am not sure how and when I can stand for this house. May God give me more knowledge and courage as I don't want to give this up as the family's house.

It took us a while again for the little renovation to start because Mama P and Tito Paul has a lot to say. But in the end, of course, it's still my decision. I know what I want are expensive and not practical. I noticed that it is a personality of mine I developed as an only child. I think I'm high maintenance. Haha! But in a good way maybe? I just want the best and hindi yung basta na lang.

Mama P is still on Tito Celso's side but she kinda like what I am doing. Although I know, I can't be her favorite. Sad reality! I won't get high hopes for that.

I am again in debt right now and I hope I'll cope up with this as soon as possible. I just didn't realize that this project will exceed the budget. But I know God will provide.

There are still a lot of projects to be done in this house. I'm not sure if I'll still go for it. Maybe? Hirap maging adult.

I hope you like my new project, Mommy and Mama Tin!

There are still a lot of cleaning to be done. A lot of stuff to go to waste! It's hard when Mama P and Tito Paul are hoarders! They still want to keep things even though there's no use for it. That's why we have a lot of stuff here at home. Maybe one of these days, I'll start to clean again when the renovation is done.

I was able to finish a kdrama series yesterday and I am so happy to be back. I want to write a review but I am damn tired today. Hopefully, I can write again tomorrow.

I have less work lately because we still don't have new arrivals and the items we have now is not doing very well. I am stressed with the customer service emails but yeah, it's part of my work.

Dad keeps bugging me. He called me a lot of times already but he still can't get it. I'm tired and don't want to talk. Is that hard to understand? It pisses me off to be honest! I guess that's what happens when a girl grew up without her father. She can be this independent.

My mood swings are still extreme these days and I get annoyed easily. I get really vocal on my feelings now unlike before. I wish I was this back in college!

Lilac grew up pretty fast! I bathed her yesterday and she's still afraid of it. Haha! There are times she's moody just like me! Probably because she hasn't got any walks lately. My knees gave up again like the usual two or three days ago. And I slipped while cleaning the fish tanks. I had to recover for a day. Good thing I am okay now!

It was only yesterday when the sun showed up for the whole day and it was warm until today. I am already missing the cold weather! Haha.

Our cctv camera is now up! Another accomplishment. I really made a budget for this one. A week ago, there was a car who wanted to get in as per the tenant at the store. Maybe he misheard it but I don't know. It's better to be sure for our security! Especially that sometimes we leave Mama P alone. Jopet is just in his room the whole day!

I'm tired right now but I was able to write this long. Haha! What an achievement! Looking forward for this week. Hoping for brighter days.

[undercovermcdfan]

Hey I'm new to this and I don't really know how it works so um... ‘a man who can’t die is no tragic hero.’ centered around Vylad? Maybe?

‘a man whocan’t die is no tragic hero.’ 

title: tea and cake

summary: A conversation over some tea during astormy afternoon. Vylad-centric. MCD pre-season 3.

a/n: So, this is so… loosely based offthe prompt, I’m so sorry??? It was supposed to be something deeper andVylad-centric but I ended up writing him having a conversation with Isabel andthrew in a bit of Vylance because I’m a sucker for that pairing? I hope youlike it—I thought it was rather cute, even if it’s so… loosely based off such agood prompt jfc. I might take another shot at it on another date.

warning(s): fluff, tea, Isabel being a sweetie

.

.

.

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Rainfall doesn’t bring melancholy feelings it once did.

As denizens scurried, seeking shelter in the nearby establishmentsor rushing home, he stood there in the street. His cloak, soaked. His hair,flatten against his forehead. The comforting rumble of distant storm thisintense rain was bring only made him want to shut his eyes, listening as hisbreathed out even breaths and lulled into a fond memory which rain only broughtnow.

Irene island went from a peaceful village to a sprawlingcity. It’s impressive, walking down the cobbled streets and not recognizing thebuildings, nor knowing which turn to take even though it’s been a year or sosince he decided to stop by.

He watched as a mother pulled along her inquisitive child,chided him softly when the child attempted to jump into the large puddle formingon the side of the road and adjusted her umbrella.

An older gentleman holding a newspaper over his head,squinting to the sky and grumbling something Vylad couldn’t quite catch beforeheading back inside the tavern.

A young girl who ran a storefront staring at him concernedand mild curiosity from behind the glass window. He spared her a glance and shelooked away quickly, embarrassed for being caught.

Ah, well Ican’t drag my feet any longer. He pulled up his hood, andhurried down the road—he was late enough already.

He wasn’t sure when he indulged Isabel and her requests tosee him whenever she heard he was in town.

Honestly, she shouldn’t have known—Vylad preferred his methodof dropping in and leaving when he’s finish reporting of whatever informationhe managed to gather. But by chance, the other day, she caught him— “Two years and you haven’t change one bit,”she said in giggly tone—and managed to rope him into staying for another day,to visit her.

Maybe it’s nostalgia; he couldn’t quite say they were friendsbut Isabel had a charm that’s hard to place and a presence which reminded himof a caring mother mixed with enthusiasm of a child—if she wasn’t hanging offthe arms of Laurance or Katelyn, tending to the younger kids that took upresidence on the island, or buzzing like the more social creature that she was,she’d always hunt him down to ask some questions (usually to satisfied hercuriosity about his ‘mysterious’ nature). She rarely caught him, true, butafter a while, she grew on him like Laurance told him she would.

And after a while, sometimes he’d seek her out. Strange howmissing the same person could make an unlikely pair—and they were the mostunlikely.

He, quiet and never much to say beyond being an ear she couldtalk to tirelessly.

She, understanding way of speaking and made warm tea with thesweet cakes whenever he visited.

The place she called home was small and humble, sandwichedbetween two other homes; on the upper left windowsill, he could spot a smallgarden and a welcome mat was on the top of the steps that led up. It said ‘welcome’,in blocky letters and a simple picture of a kitten pawing at the ‘e’ inwelcome.

She opened the door on the third round of knocking, looking alittle disheveled and flustered but smiling brightly when she saw him.

“I’m so sorry,” she ushered him in, smoothing down her hair—it’sshorter now, something he didn’t note until now; she frowned, giving him a onceover, “You’re soaked! Don’t tell me you walked here without an umbrella, Vylad.”

He shrugged off his cloak, and she immediately took it,propping it on a coat rack and a grimace at the water droplets dripped onto thefloor. “It started raining as I was walking.”

“Still not a reason to just… never mind,” she sighed, holdingup a hand, “Wait here. I’ll give you something to dry off.”

And she disappeared back up the stairs.

There was evidence she didn’t live alone. The open closet hadmore coats than necessary for just one person, and the number of shoes it held—Isabelalways been on the humbler side of living and even if she grew a taste ofshopping, he was doubtful she’d owned thatmany.

When she returned, throwing the towel on his head andinstructing him to take off his shoes— “I spent all day mopping. I’m notletting you track mud in here.”, she hurried away again, into the kitchen sheassumed.

There wasn’t much of a living room area, so of course hefollowed her, undoing his bun as he started to dry it off his hair.

He zoned out slightly as she started to chatter; taking upseat on one of the two chairs in the kitchen, he mused at the cutesydecorations adorning the table, walls, around the small kitchen.

“—anyway, it was lucky I decided to make a run to the bakerythis morning rather than later; the weather been so gloom and doom the pastcouple of days,” she said, placing tea in front of him before placing the milkand sugar cube; of course, he went straight for the sugar cube, adding two tohis drink as he gave quiet thanks. “Hmm.”

He paused, glancing up and Isabel waved her hand beforeletting out a small laugh. “Oh nothing. I was remembering something,” shesmiled, as she turned away to fetch her own cup and the cakes she alreadyprepared on a tray, “Remember three years ago, when the island had only Aphmau,Travis—you know. Before the island was theisland. And there was that nasty storm.”

His brow raised, absentmindedly rubbing his hair. “I do.”

“And remember how we both got caught in it? The lectureLaurance gave us…” the soft smile faded for just a moment before it returnedbrightly, she slid the cake and fork towards him, taking a seat, “I never sawyou look so embarrassed until that day, honestly. I didn’t know if you could feel embarrassed? Or look so uncool.” Henarrowed his eyes and frowned. But she shrugged off his gaze, rather, she wasgrinning now at his expression. “He even made you sit down and dry off your hairafter you sneak off.”

Normally, the reminder of… him would leave his heart aching.But never with Isabel, she never let either dwell on the bitterness of the facthe was gone.

“He was treating me like a child.” He took a bite of cake.

“In his defense, it’s a little childish to run off.”

He squints at her, pointing his fork with an accusatory point.She shrugged, continuing the story, “You looked like an angry cat. And Laurancekept talking and talking, how we both were asking for a cold.”

“You did catch a cold.”

“Huh, I did, didn’t I?” she chuckled, before softly sighing, “…youknow. Sometimes I miss it. Miss Laurance being around. When he left, everybodyended up going their separate ways… especially you.” He took a sip of her histea, avoiding with her searching eyes as she looked at him. “Do you ever wonderwhat he’s up to?”

…Maybe he should take back the statement of the ache nevercoming.

“Every day.” He whispered, after a pause.

She hummed, propping up her cheek with her palm, “Not everyday for me… but often enough. Same with you. I wonder about you a lot. Aph toldme you been busy in Tu’la and… it’s a little worrying, you know?”

He’s quiet, taking another bite of his cake.

“I know both you and Laurance can handle yourselves… but aweak-willed maiden like me can only worry about her friends when they’re offdoing whatever dangerous things they do. I hate how much of a pessimist I’vebecome.”

“You’re not weak-willed.”

“Ah,” her eyes still read sadness but a fond smile appearedagain, “I’m ‘soft hearted’ as you all put it.”

He shook his head. “Isabel. You don’t want to be like me. OrLaurance—he wasn’t…”

“Happy. I know,” she sighed, stirring her tea as she shut hereyes, “Something to do with that shadow knight business, right? He always triedbut… anybody could see he was struggling at times.” Vylad swallowed thickly—andthe tea didn’t help. Isabel continued, “You struggle with it to. At leastLaurance had you… you’re all alone, and always away, sometimes I wonder what ifthe next time I hear about you i-is… you know. It’s your job and you’re servingfor heroic reasons but… it’s… lonely, isn’t it? I know you a-are.”

Part of him froze, instinctively, when he saw a tear roll downher cheek—like always did when he saw her cry. He never was the type to comfortbut pity filled his heart whenever he saw the young woman cry.

“Isabel.” She sniffed, quickly wiping away the tears butbefore she could have uttered an apology, he cut her off, giving a tentativesmile, “I appreciate your concern. What I do… isn’t heroic like you say, I mustconfess.” He paused, collecting his words as he chewed on a piece of cakethoughtfully—Isabel got up for a moment to fetch the kettle and pour them bothanother cup. “I am lonely. Sometimes I think I took up the task to punishmyself.”

“Punish?”

He nodded, “It’s complicated… but yes. For somebody likemyself, I don’t really deserve your tears. I only been selfish.”

The silence was… uncomfortable. He closed his eyes. He couldstill hear the rumbles of thunder and the house slightly shook from the strongwinds the storm was bringing.

But her tone shifted when she spoke up, breaking the silence.“…It isn’t a crime to feel what you feel. I know you aren’t… talkative aboutthis, but it’s okay to feel lonely and not feel at home here on this island.Also,” she smiled, “You are a hero. You do heroic stuff. And selfish or not, I’llstill cry over a dear friend.”

“...friend.”

“Yes,” she giggled, knocking on the table, “No matter whatyou say, we are friends! End of discussion.”

Vylad sighed. I supposethere’s no point to argue. He then reached for his cake, abandoning thepolite eating and held it, shoveling the rest into his mouth.

Isabel laughed at that, throwing her head back. “I knew youwere holding back!” she got up, smiling, “Let me get you another piece—I gottenextra for you and the fact Amber has bit of a sweet tooth.”

He perked up. “Amber?”

Isabel smiled, brightening up again, “Oh. Sit tight—shoot,you missed a lot since you been gone?”

He returned her smile, small but it was still there. As shechanged the subject—now talking about this ‘Amber’ girl affectionately--, hecouldn’t help but think of her words: Youare a hero.

It was a lie. Because he was only selfish, and a person whocheats death, existing by the whims of something so unholy… he couldn’t ever bea hero.

But then again, a small voice whispered: You don’t have to be. You could do your best and just be good.

That voice suspiciously sound like one that made his heartflutter. He waved it all away.

Taking a sip from his tea, he said, “You love her.”

“Well,” Isabelblushed, her smile wide, “I mean what gave it away?”

[seasonlife-blog1]

#SEASONLIFE Don'ts and what you should do instead.(part I)

Ofcours everybody lives their life in different ways and there is no set way. There is no written guide how to live the perfect live and I will certainly not pretend to be making one. In my past experiences I have seen certain things and attidus that work and some that don't. Some are always working others are guaranteed to give you missery and send you home crying in week 3 of your season. I am currently joined by 3 people who will for the first time ever be longer from home than they have ever been. I will try to give them the right advice to spare them the heart aches I had to endure in my first season. That same advice I will try to put down here.

This first part will be all about arriving on season and the mindset you need to get over the initial shock of this world changing experience.

I) DON'T: Think you will be living in paradise!

First and foremost, everything can be put into perspective. So does that wonderfull view you have of your last summer holiday experience. Remember that view of you sitting by a pool, sipping your cocktail while barbequeing yourself like a roasted pig? If you think that your season is going to be that scenario every day of the week, I have one thing to tell you.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa... NO!

Yes, 9 out of 10 you will be set in an idyllic place. A fancy 5 star resort on a tropical island somewhere in the Meditaranean sea or one of those bouncing holiday places on the Spanish mainland where every day is a party. But what most people forget when they first venture out to season is that they are there to work, not to relax. Yes there will be a lot of swimming, sunbathing and relaxing done. Just not by you. You will be the idiot running around the hotel or bar working your ass in a sweat to deserve one small day off in the week. So you can exactly do that, sunbathing for as long as your skin can take it. This realisation is one big kick in the ballsack and makes most people break down into tears in their first week of work. You get to learn a whole new side of this dreamlike invironment. The early shifts or late nights are deadly at first. The stress backstage and how hot it actually is when you are not allowed to jump in the pool. Most of all seeing people laying on their ass all day whyle you are barely have energy left to breath is really emotionally tough. So what do you do to prevent yourself from becomming a little pile of missery in your first week?

DO:

First of all you need a healthy dose of realisme. You need to know that you will be working hard and long hours. But you also need realise where you will be doing this job. That you are one of the few lucky people that will not only have (mostly) amazing weather, but also incredible views, beautiful nature, an interesting culture, etc... Realise that normally you would be sitting behind a desk from 9 to 5 and having your breakes in a cold cantina somewhere. While right now you 2 hour mid-day break will concist of you quickly eating whatever you can and making the most of it at the local poolbar or beach. I know where I would rather be. When you keep this in mind, season doesn't seem so bad anymore. Which brings me to my second point

II) DO: Seize opportunity!

Under no circumstance should you be in your room, by yourself, other than for sleeping. You can watch your series and movies back home, or keep them for that one rainy day in the season. You have a two hour break? Go to the beach. You were done early with an activity, go quickly outside of work to have a short walk or grab a coffee before you need to start again. Are you having a late start the next day? You go out in the evening! You don't necceserally have to indulge in a night of questionable activies at the local barstrip, that is ofcourse always an option. You can also just go for a relaxing walk on the beach. Go watch the stars. Go to that duo singing in the local pub. Or have a night at the house with your colleagues. In short seize every little oppertunity you have to make the most out of your season. It is done before you know it.

DON'T: Stay in your room or workplace for longer than neccesary.

What you in no circumstances should do is just stay at home or stay anywhere near your work on your breaks or days off. If possible leave that place and go out, if not, go to a place where you can be away of all the commotion and stress from work. I used to be in a hotel that was in the middle of nowhere. The first thing on my to do list was a place to find for myself other than my room. The walls of your work invironment will come closing in very fast if you do not do this. Your season is shorter than you think, use every little moment you have to experience your life here to the fullest. If for you that means chilling at the beach or in your garden, good. Do you like having a quick drink or a stroll to the market, good. Just don't stay in your room by yourself. Like stated before, the only excuse is sleep, actual sleep! Don't give me that bullshit excuse of "I am tired and just need to chill and watch a movie". First of all, you can watch that movie later. Second, you can rest when you are death. Yes you will be tired, yes that second shift is going to be a bitch. But you can either go out and rest on the beach or bite your teeth and do something fun. Trust me, you will feel way more happy than you would just staying home.

III) DON'T: Think you will be living the same life as you did back home.

Not only are you in another country or place, you are also in another culture. You are not home anymore, where you know everything and everyone. You start from zero. What you think should be standard in every household back home, might not be so where you end up. You live will change drasticly. Not only the material aspect, but also the mental aspect. To every different culture there is a different way of thinking and a different way of living. Especially on season life. Don't think back about how life was back home, you left that behind. The sooner you get this in your head, the easier it is to become open to change.

DO: Be open to change and stay openminded.

This is closely connected to what I said earlier, seizing oppertunity. You might not have the same comfort as you had back home and you migth have a completely different schedule than you had before. Even the fact that you will be eating different kinds of food takes its toll on your body. In my experience, the heaviest thing is changing from a 9 to 5 day routine, to changing shifts. Late nights are followed by early mornings and long days. It takes time for your body to adapt to this. The first month is gruesome. 80 percent of the time you will feel exhausted and tired. Give your body time to adapt. But don't let this stop you from doing all the fun stuff. Bite your teeth, suck it up and push through. If you stay back home in your room you will have a combo of tiredness and lonelyness, recipe for depression is what I call that. Having fun gives you new energy. After a heavy work shift, go to that bar, even if it is for one drink. Go to the beach, even if it is just for 30 minutes. The fact that you did something will give you a good fun feeling. That will give you again energy for the next day. Before you know it, you will be adapted to this ritme of eat, sleep, rave, repeat. The first thing people often notice about a person coming back from season, is that they have become a bomb of energy. You can do more than you think and your body certainly can handle more than you think. Try new things, connect to the locals, learn about where you are. This all helps to connect to this place that you now call home.