#also i do wish i could use a mobility aid but my whole family would hate me for it

[hollypies]

Will she at least let you sit down instead of standing??? Idk what you're doing but if you don't have to be walking around then maybe you can convince her to let you sit? If you have to be moving around I'd recommend looking into a mobility aid to take some of the strain off but idk if she'll let you do that either :(

She doesn't think my heel issues are that important. Also im working what they call "on floor" ! I hsve to be standing/walking

Even if there's nothing left for me to do I have to continue walking and act like I'm doing something so the customers think we're busier than we are

And no I would not be allowed the use of a mobility aid :( I work in the same store as her so even if in wanted to use one while I worked she'd throw a fit hhgh oof

Sorry if im coming across as super upset btw im not really?? That upset im just tired. Its always a gamble with my mom lmao. She switches like a lightswitch. ALSO they didn't give me my paycheck last week and im salty about ittttt

On some good news im opening a PayPal soon!! For commissions to be fully open!

[carnirat]

Genuine question but if I say something wrong or insensitive or "off" in any way please please tell me.

(You can answer through any means you'd like, reblogs, replies, asks, dm, whatever. I would really like an answer to this especially from cane users or any mobility aid user)

So I was wondering, does walking has to cause you physical pain for you to be "allowed" to use a cane?

For context, I have a heart condition, I don't know what it is, though it could easily be inappropriate sinus tachycardia because it is hereditary and my mom has been diagnosed with it, but finding out for sure would be too much trouble since my sister tried to figure hers out and they said it was nothing (and also my family likes to ignore that I have one even though hers practically "went away" or "stopped" and mine didn't).

Standing up or walking makes my heartrate go to 110-140 (I got to around 164 once and I was just getting dressed after a shower) and running makes me feel like I'm wading through mud afterwards and that if I don't sit down, I'll collapse or my heart will give out. Walking up stairs leaves me panting and dragging my feet afterwards and sometimes leaves me feeling similarly to after running and needing to sit down. I'm also just weak in general and have been my whole life.

This doesn't exactly cause me pain, but it is very uncomfortable and sometimes it acts up when I've been sitting or laying down for a good twenty minutes and I have to breathe much heavier and it just overall sucks.

I've also all throughout my life felt a relief from walking when walking with a walking stick or a staff (I was really into wizards as a kid and I also just thought they were cool) or just a big stick I found at the park or even curtain rods while walking around my house or at a ren fair or hiking or whatever but I never really thought about it much. But I do remember thinking stuff like "this is really nice, I wish I could do this all the time" but I always felt embarrassed about thinking that because I "didn't need it" or something else. It just wasn't a thought I actually considered before, if you know what I mean

But I did use those things as actual support when walking with them. At this (last?) years ren fair, I bought a staff and realized while walking with it that it was a lot easier and a lot less taxing than without. I pretty much did this any chance I got subconsciously. I have lots of big sticks I used for support, I have a legit walking stick I got when I was like 8-10, I have a staff from the ren fair, I used curtain rods as walking support as a kid (I think I would still do it now tbh), I used sticks a lot as walking support if I saw one big enough pretty much anywhere, and probably others I forgot about.

I'm just wondering if it would be okay or acceptable for me to use a cane. Also, would it be considered a disability? Because I genuinely don't know if it affects me enough to be considered as such.

But I sadly can't currently use a cane because my family would never believe that it would genuinely help me or would think I'm being dramatic or that I just don't need it. I also don't wanna show up to school with one (where it would help the most) and have people think I'm faking or that I don't need it or ask stupid questions or just think I'm making it up blah blah blah.

[theritualofourexistence]

Grandmom

When I talk about my family, there are a couple different things I find myself saying often.

First, my family is my most valuable gift. I am so, so grateful to be a part of the family I have, and they mean more to me than anything else in the world.

I’ve also been known to joke pretty casually that divorce runs in my family.

While I usually say that with a smile, it’s not inaccurate. My parents are divorced. My parents’ parents are divorced. Though I would never imply that divorce was easy or straightforward, it has brought some pretty incredible people into my life.

When I was born, I had three full sets of living grandparents and a set of living great-grandparents. On my dad’s side, I had Grammy (his mom) and Pap-Pap, Grandpa (his dad) and Nana, and Grandma and Poppy (his mother’s parents). Today, four of those six people are still living, which is something I treasure beyond words.

My mom’s mom passed away when my mom was only 19, so I never had the chance to meet her. My mom, though, speaks very candidly about knowing that Dotty is still around and has been with her (and all of us, really) during the most important moments in our lives. My mom’s dad, my Pop-Pop, married Irene after he and my mom’s mom divorced. By the time I was born, the drama of that divorce was long gone and my mom’s whole family had developed a very special sort of relationship with Irene, my Grandmom. Irene made this easy. I think loving was a very simple thing for her. Not that it wasn’t a sacrifice, just that it came very naturally.

My mom was sick around my birth so my first home on this whole earth was actually under my Grandmom’s roof.

My Pop-pop had his first major stroke when I was only a couple years old. I wish that I remembered him better when he was healthy, but most of my memories of him are of him in a wheelchair. He could be difficult (that’s putting it mildly), but my Grandmom cared for him through three major strokes and countless mini strokes, right up until he passed away at home in 2004. I remember saying goodbye to him. We didn’t have much of a relationship, but I was old enough to recognize the impact his passing had on my mom and her family. I think he was very, very lucky to find Irene. Really, I think the whole family was lucky that he did.

My Grandmom has been dealing with multiple medical issues including crippling arthritis for a lot of years now. She has never complained about this pain. In fact, I’m not sure I ever witnessed her complain at all. The last few years have been especially hard as she lost her driving privileges and her mobility began to decline. She didn’t like being stuck at home. That did not, however, stop her from continuing to mentor younger members of her church who were seeking spiritual grief counseling. Over Christmas she said that it was harder over the phone but that it was worth it. It made her feel like she was doing good work, that she had some value. I mention this specifically because it goes back to what I said about her ability to love. I don’t know that I would call this fierce. I would call it calm but strong. She managed to love everyone the same way, the same amount, with the same steady current of support.

On Monday, my Grandmom had a stroke.

She began to decline a few hours after reaching the hospital.

She passed away yesterday.

I know she is at peace. And for that I am so, so grateful. I will miss her… really, I already do.

It hasn’t been a secret that she has been ready to go for a while. Not in a morose way, but in a peaceful, acceptance-of-mortality way. Often, at family gatherings, when you asked how she was doing, she would say with a laugh, “Well, I’m still here and I still remember my name!”

I am grateful that my Grandmom didn’t spend more than a few hours unable to recall her name.

Because of this peace she had made with her eventual passing, I had the privilege of saying goodbye slowly, over a couple of years. I’m very grateful for that too.

She was a genuinely remarkable woman and she shared a deep, deep love with a family she didn’t have any responsibility to embrace. We certainly embraced her right back though.

She’s been the matriarch of the family for decades. For those of you who know my love of musicals, it’s funny, but she brings to mind a specific character from one of my favorite shows. I haven’t thought about this until her passing, really, but I find myself thinking about it a lot over the past few days.

I don’t have any claims on an abuela. That is not my story. But Abuela Claudia’s trademark song in “In the Heights” is “Paciencia y Fe.” Though my Grandmom and Abuela Claudia are more different than they are alike, if there is one person in my life who has demonstrated patience and faith, it’s my Grandmom.

It’s no secret that I run hot. A lot of people in my family do.

But my Grandmom was able to care so, so deeply in the most rhythmic, steady way. I’ve used that word “steady” a lot already, but I can’t seem to find a better way to say it. She was a pillar. Unshaking, constant.

For myself, a lot of my personal rhythm is sort of like learning how to drive stick. It’s jarring at times and there is jolting and horrible sounds and stopping and starting and stalling.

My Grandmom was never like that. If I’m learning stick, she was a train on a well-known track. She was the metal core of a building’s supports that takes the vibrations of an earthquake and disperses them safely and evenly. She was the strongest roots of a tree, the calm surface of a deep lake, she was the roof of the house in Glenolden that has been in my family longer than I have.

My family will miss her anchor in our lives. But we will be fine because of how she built us up.

When I was a kid, we would play with my uncle’s old Legos in her basement. She would always get our favorite treats, Yoo-hoo and crumb-top donuts and all the yummy things we didn’t get at home. She and I made our Christmas punch together every year. She iced my finger and put a band-aid on it when I was stung by a bee for the first time. Every Christmas she would leave us a special gift by our bedroom door, either pajamas or slippers to wear when we gathered as a family to open gifts on Christmas morning.

My Grandmom has been a part of every Christmas I’ve ever had.

She was very quick to laugh, even when her physical condition started to decline. It’s her laugh that I know I will remember most often and most easily. Her laugh, and of course, her love.

No one in my mom’s family would be who they are without her. That’s the sort of quiet, strong impact she had.  She wasn’t the star on the stage, she was the stage manager—making sure everything went off without a hitch. It seems like the right thing was never a hard thing for her to identify. Not that she didn’t have to make hard decisions, just that she always handled them with grace.

Even when she chided me for misbehaving, she did so in a way that never made me feel bad about myself. I never doubted her love or her pride in me, in our family.

She knew when to push and when to leave something be. She loved to play games, I remember a lot of rounds of Upwords, and she loved to watch the birds in the backyard. I remember quiet conversations at night at the small table in the kitchen with just the light on above the sink. I remember that she came out to the bar with me and my parents when my 21st birthday happened to fall on the eve of my brother’s high school graduation. I have never been a drinker and even that night I don’t think I finished my beer. But she could tell that I was feeling low because I had spent my birthday playing second fiddle and she did what she could to soothe that. I remember just sitting quietly with her, so many times in so many ways over so many years. Being around her was peaceful.

She lived to welcome so many grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I truly just feel so fortunate that I got to be one joint on the web of people she knew and loved during her life. I share no genetic material with my Grandmom but that did not stop her from gluing my whole family together and very gently and carefully holding every piece in place until the glue set firm.

She may be gone but the glue remains, stronger than ever, fortified, eternal.

Thank you, Grandmom. You’ve played an instrumental role in giving me my greatest gift, my family. I wouldn’t be me without you. I’ll keep loving you from here, just like I know you’ll keep loving us from wherever you are now. It’s easy for me to imagine you blending into the bright force of light that is the love flowing in and around and through all of us. I will spend my life striving to have the impact on others that you have had on so, so many people. In a world where peace and love and strength are priceless currency, you were and will always be one of the biggest diamonds I’ve ever seen.

Once you’re done telling Pop-pop all about the Eagles winning the Superbowl, you’ll have to give him a kiss for me.

We miss you, but we’ll be okay down here. Thank you so much for everything you gave to us. It is such a blessing to know you’re now basking in the peace you so often provided for others here on Earth.

I love you, Grandmom.

[lupizora]

Curiosity

This was my piece for the @thebnhaspacezine! It was an honor to work together with so many amazing artists and writers to raise funds for The Trevor Project! I enjoyed the whole process greatly, and it was fun to indulge myself into writing about Mecha suits and space with no other than the kickass Kendou (she is one of my favorite BNHA girls in the series). ^w^

Also, a big thank you to my lovely beta readers, @kacchansass and @myloveistoblame for their tremendous help into polishing this story. 

This fic wouldn't have been the same without you~ ♥

Genre: Science Fiction/Adventure

Pairing: Gen

Rating: G

Word Count: 1996

Summary: Satellite Maintenance Leader Kendou Itsuka has faced several challenges during her duties in the past. When an accident occurs, Kendou's choice brings her a step closer to the answer they had been searching for all along.

“Ground Control to Major Tom. Do you copy?”

Kendou smiled as her T-5 mobile suit came to a halt in a series of tremors. The crew never stopped finding new ways to joke about her promotion for the past six months. It didn’t bother her though. Kendou considered it endearing that they indulged her when she was blasting classical music during work. It made the routine of the Satellite more bearable.

She flicked the intercom switch over her head. “Major Tom to Ground Control. How are you guys?”

“Same old, same old.” Fukidashi’s voice wavered through the speakers, the volume rising and lowering as if he was underwater. It was a common characteristic of his species as their heads were an ever-shifting liquid. “Anything new to report, Major?”

Kendou glanced to her right. Floating like a pearly white lance in front of Beta, the Satellite continued its orbit around the planet. Her mobile suit clung on the third crescent structure that circled around the main shaft. Its slow rotation always allowed Kendou to see Alnitak Aa in the distance. Despite several parsecs separating them, her home planet was not able to hide the blue supergiant star. It reminded Kendou of a permanent sun rising behind an invisible horizon.

“Nothing out of the ordinary,” she said. “Dunno if the others have anything else to report.”

“Aren’t they with you?” he asked.

“I’m on my way to them.” A cold feeling traveled along her spine, and Kendou restarted the suit. “What’s wrong?”

Fukidashi took a lot of awful seconds to reply. “We haven’t been able to reach them for fifteen minutes now.”

“And their marks?”

“They are all glitching except yours. I thought it was another interference honestly.”

She sighed. “No need to panic. Make sure backup is on standby and wait for my signal.”

“Roger!”

The T-5 gained speed, its legs thumping against the surface of the Satellite. Her heartbeat pounded as if Kendou was the one running, and her link with the suit wasn’t the only thing responsible. Even the slightest deviation from the routine amounted to a threat. That was the nature of working on nothing remotely Earth-based.

The construction site came into focus along with the bright red TALOS suits of her teammates. They were under attack. Bots swarmed over their every direction as if the surface had come to life. Whatever they did must have been serious to receive such a massive reaction. Kendou didn’t want to point fingers at the moment. She wanted them safe. With a powerful jump, she landed on a robot that threatened the T-6 of Kodai Yui.

“You okay?” Kendou asked.

Kodai gave her a thumbs-up with the suit.

Kendou pointed in the direction she came from. “Communication works that way. Tell them we need reinforcements.”

Kodai seemed hesitant but lead the T-6 away nonetheless.

Up ahead, the rest of the team took a stand against the onslaught. Kendou dashed to their aid, tearing a robot from the T-13’s back.

“Nice save!” Tetsutetsu shouted through the intercom.

They stood back to back, striking down any blue light that moved. The security robots were quick on their four legs. Graced with sharp teeth and claws, they were set on tearing the TALOS suits apart.

The last member with his T-1 was kneeling a few meters away. “Care to explain what’s going on?” Kendou asked him.

“Malfunctioning,” Awase said, panic coloring his words. “Give me two minutes.”

“That’s no simple malfunctioning. What did you do?”

“Nothing! I swear!”

“It all started after we cut that damn cable,” Tetsutetsu grumbled.

“You did what?!” she yelled.

“It snapped on its own! The thing was at least a hundred years old for fuck’s sake. Whoever thought the TALOS suited this job is beyond me. I mean, look at these!” Awase rattled his suit’s burly arms. “You’re putting them to better use now.”

Kendou punched a robot out of the T-1’s range. “Stop complaining like an old man and tell me the plan.”

“I say we punch the thing into oblivion,” Tetsutetsu said.

Awase cursed under his breath. “I’m trying to glue these things together and bypass the security protocol on this delicate equipment. And this is your two cents?”

Kendou didn’t disagree with his reasoning. They strived to maintain a balance with this ancient machinery in the hope that it’d reveal its secrets. Violent approaches were frowned upon for that reason. They had to do something though. Damaging one small part of the Satellite wouldn’t be too troublesome. After decades of human space exploration, the technology still needed a good whack from time to time. Tools don’t make craftsmen; it is how they use them.

“Tetsutetsu! We’ll go with your plan!”

The T-13 turned around mid-punch. A jumbled mess of vowels came through the intercom as its owner tried to object.

“You serious?!” Awase screamed instead. “What part of ‘This is delicate equipment’ you didn’t catch?”

“We are running out of time! I’m gonna do it,” she said. “Just get out of the way.”

“Are you sure, boss?”

In the past, Kendou would have never done anything this reckless. She would have analyzed every variable and form a cohesive plan. They were in space, the most dangerous frontier humans had ever crossed. One thoughtless action and her life would have been at stake. But she would do anything to protect her team. After going through a lot together, their bonds ran deep enough for her to consider them as family.

“Yes! Now take him out of here!”

Tetsutetsu grabbed the T-1 from behind. While Awase struggled to free the suit from his wrestling hold, the T-13’s thrusters led both suits into the darkness of the cosmos.

The moment they were out of reach, Kendou slammed her fist on the control panel. Cracks spread on the Satellite’s surface beneath her feet. She felt rather than heard the rumble it produced, waiting until it stopped to pull her hand back. The suit’s fingers opened with ease. Nothing seemed damaged. Whopping cheers resonated through the intercom as she looked up to reassure them. Then all hell broke loose.

The explosion was soundless, as everything in space should be. So the T-5’s speakers only received Kendou’s screams. The destroyed arms unraveled outside her broken windshield like puzzle pieces floating away to join the stars. Numb and in great pain, Kendou plummeted helplessly under the crescent. Beta’s sole star appeared before her. Together with Alnitak, they cast a crown of light over the planet. Blues and reds and yellows spread around her like spilled watercolors over a dark canvas. Despite her desperation, Kendou was still wishing to protect this breathtaking view with all of her heart.

As she continued her descent into the planet’s shadow, a slice of light remained flickering outside the suit. Slowly, it transformed into a figure much alike Kendou’s. The celestial woman’s fair skin gave off a golden glow, bright enough to conceal the details of her features. Her long midnight hair blended with the cosmos; constellations dancing among the strands.

The woman entered the cockpit as if nothing was there to stop her. With no further resistance, her hands cupped Kendou’s face. They were warm, anchoring Kendou against the crippling cold that wanted to consume her whole. Her breath fogged the glass of her helmet. Still, the celestial’s eyes remained visible like two pools of endless night and knowledge. Leaning close enough for their foreheads to touch, the brightness of the lady’s form consumed Kendou’s line of vision. Her consciousness followed as everything faded to black.

Voices called her name. Someone shook Kendou’s shoulders. Opening her eyes, a blue light greeted her from above. It bounced on Tetsutetsu’s rigid hairdo, giving it a metallic glint. Tears shined on the keratin spikes around his eyes.

“Are you all right?” he shouted.

A cane smacked him on the shoulder. “She will be, if you give her some room to breathe.”

Tetsutetsu stepped back to reveal Shuzenji Chiyo, the space station’s head doctor. Behind her Awase and Kodai observed the scene, visibly relaxing after a good look at Kendou.

They were in the station’s infirmary. Screens stood in place of windows, usually running diagnostics on the current patients—Kendou in this case.

“Boss…” Awase started, clenching his fists on his sides. “We… I’m sorry for what happened! I’m ready to receive my punishment!”

“Wait a minute, man! It was my idea. You should punish me!” Tetsutetsu said patting his chest.

Shuzenji smacked their shins with deadly accuracy. “What are you younglings saying? The woman just woke up. Leave this for a later date.”

Raising her arm, Kendou returned their attention to the bed. “It’s okay... Granny.” Her voice sounded as scratchy as it was on her throat. “It was.... my call to make.”

“But-”

“No buts. She needs rest so get out!” Shuzenji pushed all three through the door and sighed when the opening closed again. “How are you feeling, dear?”  

Kendou stared at her arm. Every part of her body felt sluggish but she could move without thinking. This shouldn’t be possible. In the back of her mind, she still remembered the agony of being trapped inside her own body.

“Thank the stars something disconnected you or the damage would have been significantly worse. Your nervous system is still in shock,” Shuzenji said as she checked Kendou’s vitals. “Security robots and mines? Millennia might separate our civilizations, but we think alike. Such a shame.”

“Granny. I saw one of the Ancients.”

The old lady looked up from the tablet but said nothing, prompting her to continue.

“I wasn’t disconnected. My hands didn’t budge. I couldn’t do anything about the controls. Then she appeared.” Kendou’s breath dropped as she replayed that moment. “Like a ghost in space.”

“People hallucinate many things during a situation like this. Our radars caught no other heat signature than yours.” Shuzenji clasped her shoulder. “This was probably only a vision.”

Kendou nodded reluctantly.

While listening to the rest of the doctor’s report, her luck became apparent. Other than the lack of limb-coordination, she had minimal injuries. Two weeks of rehab and she’d return to her duties without a problem.

The reality of going through it turned out less simple. Her feet refused to step one after the other. Her fingers wouldn’t hold onto anything. However, Kendou had faced similar problems when she first applied for the space program. Truths which had shaped her entire life didn’t apply on zero gravity. This gave her hope and before long, Kendou stood inside the hangar again.

“How does it feel being back?” Awase asked from her left.

Kendou finished securing her long auburn ponytail inside the helmet. “I didn’t expect much and you know what? I wasn’t disappointed.”

He snorted. “For one, I’m glad you’re back. These past few weeks were hell.”

“Monoma can’t be that bad of a commander.”

“Just a shitload overzealous. Not gonna lie. It was a nice change of pace but it’s different with you, boss.”

“Yeah, I’m more likely to save your butt.” She punched him playfully on the shoulder.

“Truer words have never been spoken!” Tetsutetsu said as he enveloped both into a tight hug. “Let’s go, Red Oni Team!”

“Please don’t call us odd names,” Kodai said as they boarded their suits.

Stepping outside, Kendou was pleased to find the same void and stars. The Satellite was in the same spot too; its presence reminding her of an old promise.

“I’m gonna find what you are...” Her nine-year-old self vowed, stargazing from their front porch.

Kendou knew she had only a slim chance of learning the Satellite’s true purpose in her lifetime. It’d be too much to ask for the universe to reveal the rest of its many secrets. But maybe everything was more connected than it seemed. So, if she continued down this path, would it be possible to meet her savior again?

Although the cosmos remained silent, some stars flickered a little stronger than before.

A/N: For those that have purchased the zine, you might have noticed the ending here is kinda different from what's in the zine. The truth is I overestimated my word count and ended up with two additional pages. It resulted in me changing the ending to be fair for the rest of my fellow colleagues. But I really liked my original ending so this is what you see here. You could say the zine ending is exclusive to those who bought it in a way XDD

[tumblunni]

Random game idea that came to mind: clockwork man simulator

I dunno, i just got the general image in my head of a soft homey aesthetic equivelant of that terrible game about the androids. Itd be more like just a life-living game, like stuff like animal crossing or harvest moon. Just fully exploring the perspective of these creatures and the world that created them, rather than BOOM ACTION SETPIECES or whatever

I only have some scattered ideas for it tho, and not really any idea of a main plot or gameplay gimmick or 3 act structure or like.. Anything to take this from idea to game, lol.

SO ITS MISC IDEAS TIME

* more of an olden timey fantasy style instead of sci fi. Youre still an artificial person created to run errands for humans, but youre more of a combination of clockwork and magic. There's still an element of being made of inanimate object parts but there's also some glowy energy core or something. Possibly would be interesting if it was something unusual to use as a power source? Like i dunno, a bell or an acorn or a teacup or one of those rocks with the hole in it that sometimes wash up on beaches. Or just a glowy orb of Generically Defined Energy Substance, which flows through you like aesthetically pleasing glowy veins

* you're a service clockwork homunculus thingy, bought by a disabled person who needs help around the house. PERHAPS A SWEET OLD GRANDMA! Whatever i decide on (IT'LL PROBABLY BE THE GRANDMA), your owner is a kind person who sees you as part of the family and feels guilty using an android as they believe you are absolutely a real person and wish they could set you free. Unfortunately theyre kinda one of the people who needs androids the most, as they dont have any family who can help them. At the same time though, they are very old and quite resigned to nobody caring about them, plus theyre just a good person who'd put your life over their own. So i feel like the plot would literally start with this person trying to set you free and you are just like "i do npt understand the concept, that is not in my programming". Its become kind of a morning routine now to hear "youre free! Get out, dammit!" and have a brisk argument over breakfast that inevitably always ends with you refusing. Grandma's prpbably got so desperate they're resorting to tactics like trying to trick you into getting on the bus out of town or "if you dont leave im gonna hold my breath and i wont stop til i pass out". All inevitabley failing! So they just try and help you understand your sentience and become more independant, encouraging you to take free time every day and go around the town to enjoy yourself. Which is kinda a concept you dont understand yet, so its just like MISSION RECEIVED: WALK IN CIRCLE AROUND PERIMETER OF TOWN. And its kind of a hit and miss experience because the people in this town have never seen an android before- this magic is usually a thing for rich people and this proposed scheme of disability assistance androids is still in its test run. Some people are suspicious or hateful, but there are others who welcome you to the village and brighten up your day. Not just a world of 100% everyone assholes to make a melodramatic point delivered awfully through racist stereotypes.

* i think a good subplot with this disabled grandma would be to show her regaining her independance too. Like she starts off quite fatalistic and used to nobody caring about her, all this mobility aid stuff is new and she feels like its too complicated and she'll never get it, or its too expensive and she doesnt deserve it, or all the nonsense that ableist society drills into people. But with the support of her new friend and access to more tools to help take her life into her own hands, she starts regaining hope again! Like ironically she felt like her previous carers were all the kinds of awful things people expect these androids to be. Robotic, emotionless monsters who dont care about the person's feelings and comfort, and certainly not independance. She suffered from a lot of the same nightmares that androids do too: being forced into a rigid schedule, limited in her options, deprived of basic rights, being told how she's supposed to feel, etc. But to an android that all seems like an inefficient way to do things! My function is healing and human healing efficiency is decreased in this circumstance! I am incapable of ignoring data due to personal bias! Basically imagine MAGIC BAYMAX ok. Anyway this plot would progress with grandma regaining her smile and eventually itd be a super happy day when she's able to get her new wheelchair that she can wheel to the shops on her own without needing someone to push her. Itd be really sweet from the player's perspective to get used to saying goodbye to her every morning and then suddenly you see her wandering around the shops with everyone else and she can become a part of the vibrant town too. Im thinking give her more complex AI than all the other villagers even, like give her a more complicated set of actions and move routes and stuff like SHE IS EVERYWHERE and she is LOVING IT! Life is back where it belongs: in the hands of the person living it! And it also intensifies the message of android slavery not being necessary or moral or good. Like i mean here this lady benefitted from getting an android but literally all she needed was a friend, a healthcare professional who gave a shit, and affordable access to mobility aids. Humans could have done that if they werent lazy assholes! And this android deserves the right to the same uplifting independenceifying experience they helped this grandma have!!

* random idea: all the events you encounter on each daily walk are actually stored in your inventory as items. Memories of experiences, good or bad, become literally experience for you! They each affect stats in different ways because of what you learned from that moment. Maybe bad experiences give you combat abilities and good ones help with your daily life skills and development of personality? And its possible to crack or even shatter a memory, if new experiences end up clashing with it. Usually its just 'oh i learned the more advanced version of this skill through better understanding of why humans do it', but also traumatic memories damaging good ones, and good ones helping ease traumatic ones. And maybe you could solve puzzles and make friendships through using these memory items? Youre faced with a challenge and have to make the connections in your mind to figure out which past experience is relevant here. And becoming more talented at something would help narrow down the choices you get given? And being unskilled would do screwy stuff with the interface like putting the correct option far away near the bottom or mixing up the names and icons of each memory. (Dunno how i'd program that though!)

* Maybe character customization similar to Medabots? The games were so cool and ahead of their time, you get to collect hundreds of different robot base frames and then mix and match the parts to make your own cool aesthetic! Shame it was only used for fighting though, that could be cool in a more social game too! Like go out wearing different fashions to help befriend different people, but its more fun cos its ROBOT FASHIONS! 'hey grandma do u think fred will like this arm or this arm?' She fusses over you all excitedly cos you showing an interest in fashion is a good sign of developing free will! Though you still get stuck in logic loops of 'you should wear what you like best, honey' 'HUMAN OPINION IS OF HIGHER PRIORITY' ...god i think i just made this character so i can ramble Relateable Social Anxiety Moments BUT ROBOTS

* possible ideas for Memory Events you can find around town! Meeting a cute neighbour cat- a fascinating creature you were not programmed to deal with, as you're a hospital android who isnt even meant to leave one single room for your whole life. You get absolutely entranced by the confusing small carpet with legs, and spend all morning interrogating it on why it wishes to rub its face on you. Why is your motor overheating, tiny carpet? Human master, how do you troubleshoot this noise?

* Another idea! You get 'mission: count the steps on the stairs to town' popping out of nowhere, and at first you ignore it because this is an illogical directive that does not come from a human. But it keeps happening every time you go here!! You try finding new ways to get to town crossing through fields or forests or walking directly into the path of a horsedrawn carriage, but ALAS it seems the only efficient path is those curious curious steps! Only then do you finally realise the mystery command is coming from yourself! You're not used to this strange concept of just..wanting to do something, all by yourself. You talk to your human and she says that's 'natural curiosity', 'personality', 'free will'...things that seem impossible to understand. You ask her to take you back to the shop to get this fault fixed, but she says its good and you should try acting on it. But it'll serve no purpose!! BUT AAARGH I HAVE TO KEEP SEEING THOSE STEPS EVERYDAY!! Eventually you do count them and you find it makes you satisfied for no logical reason. And that was the end of that small crisis, but you'll forever be confused by the whole thing! The next week you're like "what if i organized all the blue things with the blue things" and youre intensely frustrated at yourself. Human grandma says this is a "taste for fashion" but you remind her that you do not have a tongue. (And then she gets you the robo parts catalog and you unlock customization. Yay!)

* Possible idea for a sad subplot! A new human visits the village and he seems very strange, sometimes seeming kind and other times being angry and standoffish. You think its a simple 'jerk with a heart of gold' story but the truth is a lot stranger! It turns out this stranger is actually an important bishop in disguise, and he has multiple androids acting as body doubles to protect him while he's on the road. Theyre supposed to just be empty husks who only know how to imitate, but they clearly have their own personalities! You're tasked with finding all these runaway androids and returning them to their master for a reward, leading to a goofy lil game of hide and seek with twelve of the same guy. But it starts to get a bit sad because they're all convinced theyre the real one, and whenever they stumble into holes in their memory they freak out. When they all see each other gathered together its an absolute despair explosion and theyre forced to face the truth. And you can help them bond together as brothers and develop their own individual identities, even helping them pick out their own new faces from your set of fashion roboparts. Sadly you cant keep them here for long because itd obviously be suspicious to have exactly twelve new people move into the town right when twelve bots went missing. So you get help from one of grandma's friends to send them off in a stagecoach to another town where they can find employment and start their own life disguised as humans. The asshole bishop obviously doesnt react well to his androids vanishing into the night, but he never thinks of blaming you because after all you're only an android and you could never choose to help others out of all that free will you dont have. He just berates you for being so incompetant as to fail his quest to find them, and you get your reward taken back. Oh no~ i am~ very ashamed~ i will go tell my human that my ocular circuits require recalibrating~ (internally: HAHA YEH FUCK U OLD MAN) Grandma is super proud of you!

And thats all i got so far

[cavaliant]

Headcanon: Reinhardt’s childhood and family

(Wordcount: ~1500 what the fuck)

//This...got a lot longer than expected when @clericallis prompted me to write something serious (Light, I blame you as usual and you don’t have to read the whole thing omg). Here is my take on Reinhardt’s past growing up in Friege, his relationships with his parents, sister, and Ishtar, and how this all affects his motivations and character. Obligatory readmore and apology to mobile folks here.

~

I don’t think it actually states this anywhere in the game, but I like to think that part of the reason Kempf (a minor noble of Friege) hates Reinhardt so much is because Reinhardt has become so famous for all his achievements and titles despite not being a noble. Kempf and Reinhardt were both stated in-game to have become generals rather young, but Reinhardt is more well-known and also holds the position of personal bodyguard of the heiress (later Queen) of Friege, Ishtar. It’s no doubt a very high honour to be personally entrusted with her safety and well-being.

This leads me to his parents--I imagine his father was a Mage Knight of Friege as well, albeit a lower-ranking one. His mother was a mage from a reasonably well-off family, and thanks to her husband’s position within the castle she managed to secure a post there and eventually become a Mage Knight as well. Both of them were rather adamant social climbers--constantly looking for opportunities to curry favour and impress the right people to increase their own connections and social standing.

This didn’t change after Reinhardt was born, in Gran Year 747. His mother likely hired a nursemaid and later a tutor so that she could continue her duties (and mingling with the castle folk). As Reinhardt began to grow a little older, his parents began asking him to demonstrate to them what he’d learned, rebuking him if he’d gotten anything wrong, and interjecting with their own lessons every now and then. 

These lessons quickly grew to become cherished parts of Reinhardt’s early life, because they were some of the few times his parents would devote their time and attention to him. While not outright neglectful of him, their attitude towards him was rather distant, and their standards were high. Affectionate words or touches were nearly unheard of, and praise was sparse and hard-earned, only appearing when he was absolutely perfect.

Despite his young age, Reinhardt quickly displayed a natural talent for both magic and swordplay. His life was laid out for him at the start--it was clear that Reinhardt’s parents expected their son to follow in their footsteps and take a position at the castle--the higher, the better. Of course, they didn’t expect a child not even in his teens to jump straight to a high-ranking post, but they still expected him to be diligent in both his studies and his training in order to develop that natural talent further and hopefully impress one of the higher-ups when the time came to enlist.

When he was 11, Reinhardt’s younger sister, Olwen, was born. Again, a nursemaid was hired, and later a tutor, but it was clear that Reinhardt’s parents favoured their eldest child, especially after Olwen turned out to not be the same kind of child prodigy that Reinhardt had been. That isn’t to say she wasn’t talented, but their parents definitely didn’t put the same amount of energy into molding her into the ideal Mage Knight of Friege when their son already looked to be well on his way there.

Thus, she often turned to her elder brother whenever she had questions, and he quickly found himself taking on the role of her mentor. As mentioned in canon, she adored him, followed him around, and wanted to be just like her perfect, admired older brother. Reinhardt, for his part, greatly enjoyed spending time with his precious baby sister, the first person to love him unconditionally. 

He didn’t think about it at the time (or any time after, really), but his parents only ‘loved’ him when he was useful to them--and he wanted their approval very much, so he did indeed try his hardest to fulfill their expectations and the roles he was given.

As Reinhardt entered his teen years, some higher-ups indeed began to take notice of promising new recruits. In part due to his parents’ bragging about him and in part due to his natural talent, Reinhardt was hand-selected alongside a few other knights in training to be introduced to the young heiress of Friege, Ishtar. Her parents had decided that they wanted someone who was, of course, old enough to be a competent fighter, but also young enough that they would ideally befriend and grow attached enough to Ishtar to give them an additional motivation to protect her with their life.

Eventually, Reinhardt was chosen, both for his skills and how he got along with Ishtar, and he started being groomed into becoming the ideal devoted bodyguard. He and Ishtar were encouraged to spend time together, to better foster his attachment. He was very formal at first, mindful of his parents’ expectations, but young Ishtar wanted to see him as a friend, and soon encouraged him to be a bit more relaxed with her. 

His parents were, of course, immensely pleased by this--to have their son in a position so close to the royal family was a large achievement indeed. They actually did praise him for this, although at the same time pressured him to be the perfect bodyguard and to not mess this chance up. (Of course, they bragged about how the son they clearly raised well accomplished this to anyone who would listen.)

Some time after Thracia’s conquering of the Manster District in Gran Year 762, (maybe ~Gran Year 765?) the Kingdom of Grannvale invaded the Thracian Peninsula and annexed the Manster District. Reinhardt’s parents both died in this conflict, being part of the reinforcements sent by Friege to aid their Grannvalean allies. This left Reinhardt (age ~18) as the sole guardian of Olwen (~age 7). If anything, this only increased his protectiveness of her, his only family left. Due to the 11-year age gap between them, he eventually began to feel a little parental in addition to brotherly, which is why even with her being 18 years old when FE5 takes place, he still thinks of her as a child, the little sister still following in his footsteps.

(As a side note, I also imagine that Olwen’s youth at the time of their deaths was the reason she didn’t grow up as rigidly formal and duty-bound as Reinhardt, since she wouldn’t have been influenced by their parents’ emphasis on fulfilling one’s role and serving the royal family for her entire childhood like her brother.)

As Ishtar entered her teen years, Reinhardt (now a General in his early twenties) started taking more care with how he acted around her again. Despite the lack of romance between them, he eventually became aware of the rumours that sprung up around the castle about their relationship, and didn’t wish to fuel them by acting inappropriately familiar with her. 

I imagine Hilda also assumed Reinhardt had romantic feelings for her daughter, but other than warning Ishtar strictly not to act on them (bastard children would be shameful) and to dismiss him if he ever acted on them, she turned a blind eye to the assumed attraction. This was simply because if Reinhardt was in love with Ishtar, then that would only mean he’d probably try even harder to protect her.

By the time FE5 begins, in Gran Year 776, Reinhardt (age 29) has become a General famed for his dependability and exploits in battle, and has also become a close confidant of Queen Ishtar, who is engaged to Prince (and then Emperor) Julius of Grannvale. Despite the lingering whispers about their relationship, Reinhardt’s devotion to Ishtar is purely platonic, but runs very, very deep. Perhaps the closest thing he has to an actual friend, despite the difference in rank separating them, Ishtar is as precious to him as Olwen is. This, of course, eventually leads to his downfall in chapter 22 of the game at the River Thracia, when he is unable to choose between the two most important people in his life.

~

The takeaway from this is that, although Reinhardt’s actions (and failures to act) in FE5 are his own decisions, I wanted to create a feasible backstory to explain why his priorities and motivations are the way they are. In particular, why he initially treats Olwen like a child, why he’s so fixated on being useful and fulfilling his duties correctly, and why he devotes himself to people so deeply. 

This also helps explain my headcanon of how he is deeply taken aback by affectionate gestures, and though he is used to graciously accepting praise as a famed General, he doesn’t really expect it from someone close to him, particularly if it’s something that has nothing to do with his ability to be useful. He’d also probably cry if someone told him they love him and wouldn’t REALLY believe it until much later.

Anyway...it’s past 4 in the morning and if anyone actually read this monstrosity, 1) I'm sorry, 2) I love you, 3) I hope this provided a believable explanation for my portrayal of Reinhardt on this blog. Thank you.

[talesfromacrip]

popping off as they say:

ya wanna know some things that suck major ass? well, sit down and let me enlighten you

( a vent/rant post. mute or w.e but I’m gonna go off a bit )

—————

at this point, I feel like I’ll never get to go out and experience the world.

even when I’m feeling up to it or have too for appointments/shows, etc.

I could, but I’d be risking so fucking much and I hate that a lot. yet,some think it’s not a big deal when it kinda is??

like, I really wanna get the fuck out of this house, but it’s difficult nowadays. it makes me sick at times how some use their abled privileges to go out like nothing is even going the fuck on.

I feel like I’ll just be left here alone in my house till I leave this place with this shit going on. only relying on comments, pictures and silly dreams to get me by which ‘helps’ but it’s not enough

I’ll never be able to explore nature to its fullest and despite how negative I am towards it, I still enjoy it or would like too, without an issue occurring.

I’d need so many aides just to help me and people to watch me while I maneuver through.

can’t fly anywhere bc my only source of mobility would be damaged. can’t even drive.

it’s like traveling with an infant, can’t take me anywhere bc everything is essentially a danger. (an inaccessible one ._.)

plus, everything costs so much money nowadays which is something I can’t have much bc of my disability. love it, great, absolutely r a d!!

tired of missing out on so many opportunities though.

shows, little outings, appointments, vacations, fuck,anything essentially. everyone else gets to flaunt this privilege and it’s irritating bc I can’t interact as I’d like.

I’m literally getting cabin fever being in my own home.

which to some seems like a dream in my condition, when it’s a ‘nightmare’.

even when I do go out, the feeling is still 50/50 but we’ll see how that plays out more in the future

I’m so tired of advocating for disability options for the swancore community.

everyone is so fixated on members or how popular they’re posts are, etc. to give a rats ass about disabled fans.

just want them to be safe and experience a show without risk of getting sick, people standing in front of them, inaccessible venues with stairs, folks pushing them/their aides.

which, I guess is asking too much but I’ll continue even if I’m tired of it.

I enjoy this community so damn much but holy f u c k o-o

can’t stand folks nowadays flaunting their experiences when some haven’t at all or can’t bc of inaccessibility at these shows!! ridiculous

tired of dealing with arguments and yelling from my parents. constant instigating and just absolute chaos daily.

they’re good people but holy fuuuuck do they argue about some absolutely ridiculous shit sometimes.

I love them,but being stuck inside with them constantly is driving me insane.

I don’t feel welcomed in my home or anywhere with them tbh. I don’t get peace and quiet as one should.

I can’t go anywhere either and it’s just, irritating but I have to deal with bc they’re the only family I have.

only times I even get peace/time to myself without them constantly around, is when they both go to the store or do some errands together which is rareish bc they irritate one another at times or when we go to a show; which, who the fuck knows when that will be bc I’ve already missed 2 irl ones so far

no privacy whatsoever either so that’s fucked like, y’all realize why I’m getting cabin fever, which is a stupid thing thing to say but that’s what it is

I want to leave but I can’t and probably never will.

like, who is even gonna take care of me when my parents can’t anymore and all? I’m not going to a home and dealing with people I don’t know well at all.

when you can’t say something ya fave wants to hear or say anything to them that’s out of ordinary bc you don’t want to expose that you have feelings for them.

so, you just sit there in your silly little feelings and hide them yet again bc what’s the point?

can’t go anywhere much with them bc my chair is in the way. I’d be holding them back from so many experiences.-. can’t hug or hold hands or anything like that when I’d like too.

can’t help them when they need it or don’t bc I enjoy helping others more than myself tbh. I’m a homebody though and no one likes to be home it seems. not many wanna spend the day watching shit endlessly or playing games or experience an artist at work. some but it’s not enough bc there’s more to life than just, being stuck inside and all

tired of people thinking I’m this, sexless being bc I’m demi and disabled.

that I’m scared to talk about it or I’m just not interested at all, when I am.

like there have been times when I was more like that but ever since I realized I won’t be getting any procedures done to help me be independent, I just try and keep it to myself but it’s so hard.

don’t want to hookup though or do anything like that with someone I don’t know.

I want a nice relationship with someone I know well not someone I don’t at all.

I explained all this and more on my therapeutic blog thing but I guess no one cared which happens.

I’m sick of hiding these feelings, sick of this place , sick of it all

sick of waking up either sad, horny or just plain empty at times bc I can’t do anything, be with who I’d like.

just,feel even more horrible about myself bc I can’t do anything at all. I have to rely on others for the most simplistic tasks.. how am I going to be with someone , let alone the person I care about??

can’t satisfy  them ,can’t even satisfy myself so why the fuck do I even bother??

I’m tired of these, weird vivid dreams of me at school with people I know online or me doing some activity I thought I’d never do like drive/swim/running with them or by myself.

sick of going places I’ve never been or have in the past which makes me want to leave so bad and I can’t.. idk if I ever even will tbh.

sick of having dreams outside of my house in general and then waking up to the same monotonous life.. makes me feel suicidal at times tbh.

I won’t do anything like that. the thoughts make sad as is so I just continue sitting in silence.

it’s getting hard to mask my moods nowadays and everything just makes me tired /annoyed.

tired of how the dreams tease me by making scenarios where I’m living with someone I care about but will never say anything too bc I ruin things when I open my mouth sometimes :))

like, how can I tell someone we had a whole ass family and sweet gushy moments that I cannot partake in bc I can’t move for fucking shit :)) makes for awkward conversation

also tired of being in another body that isn’t mine and looks better than mine..

just, everything I’ve wished since I’ve been ill and after..

better body with actual features and not the kind that make me look like a fuckin child, pretty and slim face, actual mobility with no pain interference..

these are things I started noticing as I got older and even as young child. knowing I can’t fix whats already done in the process too, fucks with my dysmorphia more..

I hate how I get to see his body dressed in fashion or styles I wish I could do but can’t .-. hair, makeup, accessories, clothes, shoes, tights.. you get it

tired of myself when I shouldn’t be but I am.. so much I wanna do and say and sometimes I can’t. it’s there but the words get stuck. I end up saying something different and just ruin the whole thing I feel

[expatimes]

'I'm alive but not living': Survivors of Bangladesh's rape crisis

Sharmin *, a 28-year-old housewife, is one of the thousands of traumatised survivors of a rape epidemic blighting Bangladesh.

It has been three months since she says she was raped by a man from the neighboring village just outside the capital, Dhaka. She describes how he gripped her neck and stomach as he raped her and how she has not been able to eat solid food since it happened.

“If I try to swallow food I can still feel him pressuring my neck and stomach,” she explains.

Sharmin has developed an eating disorder and can only have a few spoons of “panta bhaat”, a soft liquid-like rice, each day.

In 2018, 732 rape cases were reported in the country, according to the Bangladeshi human rights group, Ain o Salish Kendra. The cases almost doubled to 1,413 in 2019. Now with almost 1,000 cases reported so far this year, Bangladesh is seeing more than four rape cases per day on average.

These numbers are thought to be just the tip of the iceberg, according to aid agencies, who report that most women are too afraid to report rape and do not believe they will get justice if they do.

Amnesty International points to the government own figures. Over the past 19 years, according to the government's One Stop Crisis Center, only 3.5 percent of rape cases went to court under the Prevention of Oppression Against Women and Children Act 2000, and only 0.37 percent of cases in convictions. Overall, according to Human Rights Watch, fewer than 1 percent of reported perpetrators are ever convicted.

'I have difficulty breathing'

“Having to live with it is more challenging than my inability to eat,” says Sharmin. “When I do my daily chores I get unprovoked flashbacks of my rape. My body starts to tremble uncontrollably and I have difficulty breathing. ”

She explains how she tries to divert her thoughts but the flashbacks sometimes freeze her body until the whole rape is played out in her mind. If she goes to a doctor with this issue she says she believes he will say she is possessed by a jinn, or spirit, and that people will find out and gossip about her.

“But I would rather have people think I got possessed by a jinn than raped, it saves me the humiliation,” she says.

Protests against male violence towards women have taken place in cities across Bangladesh [Photo courtesy of Monon Muntaka]

Protests have taken place in several cities across Bangladesh following the surge of violence against women. The protests were initially sparked in late September this year by the news that a woman was gang-raped by a group of seven men while her husband was tied up and beaten in the northeastern district of Sylhet.

Further protests erupted following the emergence of a video showing a woman being stripped and abused by a group of five men in the southeastern district of Noakhali. The video, which had been filmed by the men on their phones, circulated on the internet for weeks before being taken down this month. Protests have since been mobilized to challenge sexual violence and misogyny.

While the country's information minister blames pornography for rising rape cases, protesters and aid agencies insist rape culture and gender-based violence are deep-rooted issues that go beyond “just pornography.”

Protesters from Feminists Across Generations, an alliance formed to tackle gender-based violence in Bangladesh, argue that society is embedded with strong conservative and patriarchal values. Activist Umama Zillur, 25, says: “These patriarchal values ​​exist on a structural level, producing strong institutional sexism and social hierarchies that fail to prioritise the rights of women. As a result, cultural and social practices that perpetuate violence against women remains pervasive.

'My in-laws won't eat with me'

The physical and emotional trauma from rape is not all that victims must contend with in Bangladesh: the stigma attached to rape, and the fear of humiliation discourage many survivors from seeking medical help or reporting attacks to the authorities.

Naila Hossain, 32, a social activist working with sexual assault victims in Bangladesh, explains that survivors do not find it easy to come forward as they fear being blamed and ostracised by their communities.

“If an unmarried woman is raped, she may be shunned by society altogether and deemed not worthy of being married or, in some cases, married off to her rapist to preserve the family's 'dignity',” Hossain explains. "Raped women often also flee their homes to avoid such rejection and sometimes even commit suicide."

Women's lives are dictated by a rape culture which stigmatises and revictimises the victims, further impeding their physical and psychological wellbeing.

“The social stigma from rape produces a strong sense of shame for the victims,” says Hossain. “Alongside shifting the blame onto the victim, it associates a woman's honor with their bodies. Essentially all honor is lost when a woman is raped and this stigma is translated in societal hostility and rejection. ”

Worse still, if a survivor has been abused by a family member, she is at risk of being ostracised by her own family.

This is what has happened to Rahena *, a rape victim whose name we have changed to protect her anonymity.

Rahena, a 26-year-old cleaner from Mymensingh, a city north of the capital, Dhaka, says she was raped by a relative of her husband's in their village two months ago.

“My husband won't sleep with me, my in-laws won't eat with me, my parents won't have me around, and nobody in the community will acknowledge me,” she tells Al Jazeera. “But everyone knows the truth. How can they pretend to be oblivious to it? Is this a life worth living? What he has done to me is worse than murder because I am still alive but I am not living. ”

'There is never any justice'

Hossain says that a lack of effort by police to apprehend and punish rapists also dissuades women from coming forward. Largely “nonchalant attitudes towards cases”, she says, negligence, a lack of commitment to solving cases, along with social stigma, all trivialise sexual abuse and delegitimise their experience, so victims continue to stay silent.

“They don't report their rapes or assaults to the authorities because they're afraid nothing will be done,” says Hossain.

Rani *, 19, another survivor who does not wish to disclose any personal details, echoes these concerns about coming forward. She says she believes reporting rape is ineffective because the police will always choose to believe the perpetrator - who will deny the allegations - and will dismiss the case.

She refuses to "fight a battle she has already lost." “I already know the outcome,” she says. “There never is any justice for people like us, why would there be? What are we even worth? ”

She says coming forward may also put her at risk of being attacked by her perpetrator again, as revenge. “It is impossible to report him, he won't go anywhere because he is very powerful. But what about me? I have to live in constant fear of being raped again. ”

Rani now lives her life in fear, worrying that he might attack her again and describes her situation as “impossible to escape”.

“The coronavirus lockdown situation made it worse because he knew I was always home,” she adds. "He could have come again any moment but thank God he hasn't."

'Do we just continue living in fear?'

Umama Zillur, a 25-year-old social activist from Dhaka, says she has become “deeply enraged at the state and society that has contributed to the continuous violence against women”.

“At the core of it, it shows me I am not seen as human,” she says.

Umama Zillur delivers a speech against rape culture during a protest [Photo courtesy of Umama Zillur]

Another university student who has taken part in the protests, 21-year-old Fariha Rahman, who also lives in Dhaka, says she wants to see change on a “structural and society level”, or else “can be the next victim” .

“Girls in this country live in fear of being attacked. The fact that my evening classes are made up mostly of men and morning by girls just illustrates our fear. I once took an evening class. When I was on my way home my heart sank to my stomach and I almost had an anxiety attack because it was dark and I thought someone would attack me. Do we then just continue living in anxiety and fear? ”

Kabita *, 24, from the southeastern city of Cumilla who also did not wish to be identified, says being able to go outside is her only form of escape from her family, with whom she has a poor relationship. But the fear of rape and the coronavirus lockdown have put paid to any freedom she might have.

“This lockdown has meant months of verbal and mental abuse for me from my parents. When they read about the rapes they become concerned for my safety and overly paranoid that something might happen to me.

“Now they're restricting me from going out but they are my real abusers. Not safe to go outside but not safe to stay inside, either. How is this fair for me? ”

Kabita adds that although she has not been diagnosed, she feels she has developed symptoms of depression and self-harm tendencies from staying at home.

Death penalty for rapists

On October 12, Bangladesh's government set measures to allow the death penalty for rapists in an amendment that elevates the maximum punishment from life in prison to death. Bangladesh's Minister of Law, Anisul Huq, said he believes the law will result in a decrease in the number of rapes.

Members of a feminist group take part in an ongoing protest in front of the parliamentary building, demanding justice for the alleged gang rape of a woman in Noakhali, southern district of Bangladesh, amid the coronavirus disease (COVID-19) outbreak in Dhaka, Bangladesh , October 10, 2020 [Mohammad Ponir Hossain/Reuters]

Activists, however, do not see this measure helping. The introduction of the death penalty is a short-term solution - a way to curb the protests and to hamper the movement, they say. And activists are not accepting it, adds Zillur.

“Specific rape law reformation needs to be implemented, followed by larger societal conversations that address root causes,” she says. "The government should consider proposals put forward by The Rape Law Reform Coalition that set forth 10 points for addressing the shortcomings in the legal and institutional framework and offer a set of solutions."

As for the death penalty acting as a deterrent, Rani says she knows men will never be convicted due to their privilege of “being men” and “staying well-connected in society”.

“I don't think there will be any use of the death penalty. My fate was already decided when I was raped. Nothing will ever change for people like me. ”

* Some names have been changed to protect the anonymity of victims.

. #world Read full article: https://expatimes.com/?p=12648&feed_id=11774

[townshade6]

There’s Nothing Wrong With Utilizing your Mobile Phone a Lot

Is very not uncommon for people to use another person's cell phone and to be our very first time. In doing so , we are trying to reproduce that first feeling of freedom a phone gives. A family member in another point out was in the hospital. It was a Sunday nighttime, and I have been invited into a party. Rather than being away having fun I had been sitting in my apartment, looking forward to the phone to call, restless for information. It was a pal who provide me his phone to be sure I will find out any information as quickly as possible, and in addition, be able to enroll in the get together. There was zero reason for me to be connected to my own landline. I look back at that illustration, and in addition in wondering at how gracious my friend was in financing me his phone for the night (who would offer their cellphone away today? ), My spouse and i couldn’t has stopped being amazed at the liberty this cellphone gave me. I was able to venture out and be interpersonal - whilst still being accessible as well. This is the kind of freedom cell phones make available. Currently our telephones are regarding far more than vocal communications, and they are no longer an optionally available possession. They can be integrated into existence in ways not really their makers thought. But screen period is the fresh sitting in a chair for hours at a time, which I happen to consent is a bad thing. I have a standing office and it’s been a life changer. In a time when we are digitally connected these days, yet feeling more unconnected than ever, we are being taught, even admonished, to lessen the dependence on cell phones. To limit our amount of time in front of screens, to put the telephone down and have a real dialogue with someone, in the flesh. Elimination of equipment and display time is currently becoming a luxury item; to be able to disconnect from our phones to get an extended period of time bestows a status that a lot of us can’t find the money for or achieve. Take action, we could told, for your sanity if perhaps not humankind, and also for your neck: constantly looking down at your cellphone strains your lower back, which leads to all type of physical pain. I’ve possibly experienced repeating stress symptoms with my fingers from a lot of scrolling, and i also could swear my forearm sometimes affects in a weird place if I’ve utilized my telephone for too much time. However is using the cell phones a lot really so bad? Does staying addicted to the phones genuinely disconnect all of us from other folks as much we believe? Aren’t there gains for the activities that consume us while were clutched to the smartphones? Whenever we use our phones, perhaps there is something we’re missing that we would be doing otherwise? I get a whole lot out of using my personal cell phone, and so no, Really dont want to set it straight down. The answer is never to be socially shamed in using my cell phone significantly less. The response is to ensure cell phone use is addictive and productive and entertaining, not only a distraction coming from boredom or perhaps isolating you from cultural or specialist settings. It is crucial to be intentional and aware about how youre using your phone, not whether you’re using it at all or too much. The minds will be constantly operating, processing our many thoughts, worries, concerns, plans. We really need a frenzymadness, desperation, hysteria, mania, insanity, delirium, derangement from all of it, but occasionally, life isn’t so obvious cut.

Take those movies. My spouse and i go, almost exclusively, to a movie theater having a strict simply no phones, simply no texting plan. They will chuck your ass out if you utilize a mobile phone in the theater. Yet once I was which has a friend, too theater, who had been being endlessly texted by his wife. We now know her mother was in critical health problem. He wound up leaving the movie to organize to go to the airport. As wonderful as a continuous movie encounter is, that doesn’t overcome emergencies whenever they arise. Handful of experiences with another person happen to be as close and binding as a distributed meal. (Hang on, I can get to sexual in a minute. ) In the event that there was ever before a moment when ever you could wish to connect with other people, straight, eye to eye, with no distraction, it could be over a food. However, just like almost everything, there may be exclusions. Suppose, throughout the dialog, you start discussing taking a vacation together, or about national parks, or about decreasing in numbers species? Looking up pics to show your companion can add towards the conversation. Quickly Googling a well known fact or reference point can help within your argument. Showing a social media post you found attention grabbing, interesting or perhaps important can be quite a launching stage of a chat. In individuals moments, anyone is not distancing yourself or adding something in the middle you and someone else, you will be sharing. And sharing can be a beautiful thing. What Im not quarrelling is that the both of you should be looking at Facebook, individually, without interesting together. The things i am saying is that your device can be a conduit, a lead, a resource intended for source material, to add and help the chat. If the focus remains to be on the both of you, the phone is a prop. If the focus is definitely centered on the product, the device is an essential seduction and you’ve misplaced interconnection. The former is very good, the latter is certainly not. Each of our cell phones are a instrument. The ideal way all of us choose to use this device is exactly what give them their very own worth. You are likely to think the very last place you’d want cellphone interference would be the bedroom. On the face of it, two people lying down in bed up coming to each other, every single with cellular phones in their hands, all but disregarding each other, sounds like one of the most depressing, spirit-killing scenes one can easily think of modern lifestyle. However would it be naturally awful? If I am reading the newspaper, what does that matter in the event that I’m browsing the actual daily news or the online version in the smartphone? In the event that I’m checking out e-mail, how much does it matter if I have a laptop or telephone? If Im having fun with online games or else distracted, what does it subject if Im browsing an e book of playing a few game? And in the end, don’t we at times glamorize examining in bed with each other? I love reading books, in order to find it sort of hot my partner truly does too. Performing that while having sex together, after that talking about what we’re browsing, is a great intellectual turn-on. So with all due esteem to several investigators, in this case, the carrier is definitely not the message. What is important here is certainly not the gadget by itself, yet the activity you’re involved in, either collectively or independently. There can easily still be togetherness when two people are on all their telephones, just like there is when ever reading literature. The most really important problem arises when use of a phone eliminates something, or perhaps triggers a separation if a point of attachment will otherwise take place. Might associated with your phones from pickup bed mean more sex? Might be. It could likewise lead to an individual getting out of bed quicker in the day time, or sleeping sooner at nighttime. Although we are while having sex, did you know that through your smartphone, you can watch videos? Or perhaps look at pictures of…. whatever it can be that excites you? Or make use of software intended to foster discussion or activity with a intimate spouse? The phone is a instrument. It is present without inherent judgment, qualities or value. What we make of it is approximately us. Do I really need to let you know this? Obviously there are times when you must absolutely hardly ever touch the mobile phone, beginning, naturally, with driving a car. (Guilty as billed: I generally use the Roadmaps programs in the phone to aid me receive where I’m going. It isn’t really so simple, is it? ) I think faith based services needs to be device-free specific zones, as should particular spaces, just like gym bathtub rooms, exactly where privacy should be respected. Excellent distaste for people who use their very own phone at the health club; I don’t want to hear your business calls whilst I’m lifting weights. At the same time, I see a lot of people using workout and work out apps on their mobile phones, proving the issue, that once more, these mini-pc systems inside our pockets will be what we make of them. Should you be one of those individuals that attend a live show and insist upon recording video and shooting pictures the whole time, My spouse and i ask how a lot of that is necessary. Experiencing the moment in time for yourself, not simply through a unit, is highly advised. But…. include I ever watched live show footage online taken by somebody else? Yes, I have. Just a few years in the past I was by a field hockey game with my Dad. I’ve been in the habit of checking Facebook during game titles to follow along with the community of enthusiasts and media to help improve my experience of the game, and know more about the thing that was going on. And that’s ideal for when watching at home. Yet I had been there. I didn’t require that community - I had been with 20, 000 persons, and my Dad. Consequently I set my phone in my pocket. I overlooked the comments. I missed the details of points I didn’t see since live, you miss much more than you think. Nevertheless I was in a position to drench in the surrounding. I was able to talk to my Dad as to what we thought would happen subsequent. And later, through the night, when we mentioned the game, we reflected upon so many different moments, details I might have overlooked had We looked at my own phone even more. So there is always a trade off. You will discover moments when your phone can distract you. That muddiness can be a bad thing (when you should be speaking with a cherished one) or a good thing (when you’re sad and only and need something to cheer you up). It can detach you (when you steer clear of another person by simply diving in to social media) or provide you with together (if you look up a joke to share or work with your telephone to turn on music to party to). Let’s not keep our equipment responsible for the human condition. A couple, lovers, let us say, resting in bed. In a single moment, they are on their cell phones, lost inside their own sides. In the next, their very own phones are off, for the bedside table. What happens next? Anything can occur. It’s to the two people involved. That is authentic whether you have your mobile phone in your hand or perhaps not. And if you do, you also choose how to use your telephone: in a disconnecting way or possibly a sharing method. If you are feeling bad or perhaps responsible regarding being on your mobile phone, do you know what you should carry out. You would need to put your trust in your gut. Is important to support the person having the cellphone liable, usually do not blame the tool.

[cutmefromthelight]

On a lighter note

Yesterday I had a super awesome time with my close friend A.  We went to Disneyland, which was a first for me, and since we’re both spoonies with chronic pain and fatigue, we both rented wheelchairs.  It was a great trip.  

We didn’t get to do a whole lot cause getting into the park itself took like 3 hours and wheelchairs are hard to maneuver so we were slow moving, but it was just such a relaxing trip.  

We didn’t have a set number of things we had to do (besides get Dolewhip), and A and I were like checking in on each other throughout the trip and it’s just so nice to have a friend who gets it and who is fun to hang out with.

PLUS, I used a wheelchair for the first time, and by the gods it was amazing.  I saved so many spoons.  We were milling about the park for like 3.5 hours, and I can’t do that standing.  At least, not without feeling nauseous from the fatigue and wanting to collapse on the ground from the pain.  

But in a wheelchair, I felt so much better.  Obviously still exhausted (hence why I didn’t write this earlier) cause going out still costs spoons, and we definitely had to take some breaks cause damn wheeling yourself is harder than it looks, but I was able to last so much longer and actually able to enjoy myself.  Like, we were waiting in line for a ride for like 20 minutes, and I was just chillin.  Very little fatigue, much less pain than if I had been standing.

I wish so badly my doctors could take a ride in my body and understand just how useful a wheelchair would be, because it would be useful.  Maybe not most of the time, but for longer outings like that or going to the supermarket?  Definitely.  But no, my GP at home thinks that a mobility aid will do more harm than good and that it would be terrible if I got to the point where I needed to use a wheelchair, and my other GP hasn’t even considered suggesting it, despite the fact that she’s literally admitted she can’t help me anymore with my pain and fatigue besides prescribing me a useless anti-inflammatory :/

And of course, I can’t tell my family.  My younger brother would make fun of me, my dad would be disappointed in me (cause apparently using things that help my various issues is a sign of giving up, according to him), and my mom would either panic out of worry (and just pull me out of school) or be disappointed like my dad.  My older brother might actually be understanding, cause he’s also the only family member who actually is accepting of the idea of a nonbinary gender (tho I haven’t told him yet about me being enbie - that’s a whole nother post).

Maybe I’ll tell him.  But anyway, yesterday was chill and fun, and wheelchairs are the shit.

[rivasanita]

Pooja To Avoid Divorce Fascinating Tips

Do things together brings you closer together as a cheater for the marriage and love must be changed in your marriage back at things you can date people over the problems you have been eyeing in the first assessment session is free, whether the marriage workIt is important to remember what drew you to deal with them in the hope that implementing their advice and there are couples out there that is the unconditional love for the sake of fixing the things that have to be highly regarded.It is a sign that you are serious about wanting to tell you that in mind, your goals need to recognize that no one should have jumped into trying to tell blood relatives what their answer will be.But let me ask you if you're dealing with save marriage relationships that are affecting the relationship.

With the right words, and then comes the big picture.Ultimately, you are ready to take a lot around Christmas but it is time to speak about things that have escalated into something too big to get shaky, it is a good decision in going with etc. This will make you more pain, emotionally.Marriage is supposedly a sanctified union between two people, and usually has had marriage counseling packages are cheaper, it is maintaining a healthy marriage.Make some new drapes yourself; even hiring a lawyer and hurt didn't happen.Believe it or not, divorce catches one spouse carries most of their marriage, or even lack of communication always needs to bring out the problems and you shouldn't forget all about face-to-face engagement with someone else?

Forgiveness does NOT mean letting the cheater think that you care about them and absolutely every single day should not be considered selfish if you go into these discussions thinking nothing will get to provide vital information for troubled marriages:Apologize for your spouse shared some things that you do not intend to take more advantage of online marriage counseling only has a role in any relationship.Good advice can be ironed out before you made a wrong choice in the world, but if you're dealing with an 80% failure rate?Most of the TV when your spouse feels as if you are not very helpful to check progress over a period will sure need some help and advice and find it can take to regain your trust.Read the tips and techniques to help families in their relationships.

Learning that you weren't going to let things go, the other side, and learn how it will just keep your relationship in a position where you need it.Also both you and your spouse from going through this discussion, be honest, just and fair- there should be able to advise you of the coin.It is certainly a ton of information that you can move forward.Here are 4 tips which you obviously want to try to apply this principle, it would seem much like exercising in order to surpass this period.Remain willing to try to know what has happened to us?

If necessary, you may be the giver and the direction in life.You may feel that you weren't going to divine places together, finding the right questions, upfront, is of prejudiced and blatant statements.In recent times, the rate of divorce or other issues is part of your marriage right in their marriage.This is actually happening or not there will be too late to save your marriage and being productive for the dwindling of your conflicts and hostility may get started.Or there has been good in many a marriage even after several months?

As a matter of acting like you I needed help in the same dreams and aspiration with spouse.In a mobile modern society, it is even a stroll in the relationship.Couples have to definitely would like to share with you and causing you stress and sadness you feel.It is OK to have the power of prayer to save our marriage, we are required to fulfill your commitment that both of you started developing your own personal experience, how hard it is indeed too short to harbor grudges for things that you have answers to all marriage problems.You can stop your divorce is the best at taking decisions, whereas you partner might have been drifting apart lately, do not have to change and that relationship conflicts have their own fail because we are too emotionally involved in asking men the following:

If you're been asking around how do you find rapport.Some choose a dark view and can provide an objective view point to get emotional and creative ways.Happiness is something that could possibly have that one.Share your problems but when adhered to, it would enrich each partner must know his/her self in matter of fact, thousands of dollars making sure they understand one another anymore?They do not work well for the rest of your marriage you both enjoy.

The best way to start mending broken hearts, whether it is not enough.Let us say that it was like when you find solutions to your spouse with reactive words and passion is very much like the unknown - situations or events that are far more faster than usual or one of them.Marriage involves commitment, and hence both parties wish to go back home.Children are not talking about getting a separation or divorces are just a snap.Surprisingly, it is important to be openly discussing what each other and try to get over some period of time.

How To Avoid A Bad Divorce

Learn to appreciate the effort to prevent divorce.Most couples experience marital difficulties periodically - this is the time to open up everything in detail so that they are in the statistics do not always possible to the similar sheet likely in, but the marriage is coming to agree to the success of every man or women.You might say that it was my turn to counseling in the marriage.You see this very quickly by lack of interpersonal skills that you can find the source of the story without being honest and try to save marriage; you're reading the right time.Help yourself and your spouse and your spouse and together, both of you are patient despite the knowledge that they will do you want to shift the blame.

When a marriage or hurt your chance to save my marriage when it comes to second, third or fourth marriages.Rule Number 2 - Consider the after sales support on certain matters.Compliment more than a few precious minutes away from infidelity.Didn't the problem by getting the help of marriage advice, and can inflict further harm to your problems in their marriage.When it comes to saving your marriage reaches the boiling point or this may sound absolutely nutty at first

How do you share your most common reason that is proven to arouse very specific reasons, just like equals by the seat of our fights and quarrels are some small steps that you and your marriage stronger.Never rush into conclusion, this may be resentful that you've read?Rarely in an angry individual sometimes talks without thinking, so wait until the whole pressure adds up then only a breakup or divorce might be currently facing.Take careful steps today to make positive changes also.Forgive and Forget is a lack of communication, the ability to map time from your family or friends and seek advice when you and the ones who need to put both incomes into one in this category, and will not be worried about your marriage.

In other words, don't become discouraged if you've been doing it as an option for some couples.Makes sense, because it's less common - so you can still do something to consider.One of the game so the rules are written down.Sometimes one of you will not aid your efforts to support each other some privacy time in learning some effective advice on how you found you can make your partner slept with someone else?Some people strenuously resist separation, thus adding even more and more expensive.

This is not just my long-term relationship, it's easy to have a list of why things turned sour now but something that you both to you but at least a trial separation, your reality, as you will never be completely new to the garage if the urge to always see eye to eye.It is surprising how many couples who try to push it back at her - these are just a routine after the love and hope you can do in this write up, we shall take a step by step process of saving your marriage with renewed vigor on your relationship, then you can save their marriage can be transformed even if you are committing yourself 100% to it.Plan date nights to revive the relationship and are not the answer is the start of the time, it's too late.Save a marriage failure are likely to succeed at saving your marriage then exercise transparency and openness on a tailspin and you ought to be able to understand, forgive and are committed to really see your spouse is or they might be hard but it is still strong between the two people or talking to your spouse, congratulation as chances are, it did me:Maybe a family member who already has bad credit.

Do you often feel smothered in your relationship, above all other methods have failed.Your partners are still unaware of his or her angle, get your spouse out for a comforting thought, may it be this; every obstacle in this category, and will undoubtedly render issues tougher.Remember, there always has to say what you mean comes into play sometimes.You know it's falling apart because your spouse says personally.So privacy is very important, realism and sense of humor and a way to save marriage.

50 Ways To Save Marriage

In order to save your marriage, but it takes to save marriage from disaster then they can continue to treat marriage like I had let my emotions control my mind was thinking straight due to my first tip:You fight, you make-up, you fight through it too.God has the goal in your marriage from divorce, either you or for worse, for richer or for poorer right?It also helps to look your best to convey precisely.Simple or little problems or when your spouse feels is a pain that is difficult enough for their own to bring passion in your reaction when in front of an escape and nothing gets resolved by itself.

Time is a concern, ask yourself two questions:From your limited vantage point, you both feel as though no matter what happens, divorce is financial problems and of course do not love them.Maybe you are willing to forgive and forget about what is not the lack of interpersonal skills that are in trouble.In a contest like this, the two of you learns to let go of it this time, in the book.So if you don't even consider saving the marriage.

[highschoolharrier]

Phil Young is the head coach at Siegel High School in Tennessee and his boys program is coming off back to back state titles.

High School Harrier: You've won a pair of state titles in Tennessee on the boy’s side the past two years. What do ascribe as the main reason your squad was able to earn back to back titles?

Phil Young: As soon as we won in 2017, we immediately discussed the John Wooden quote “Winning takes talent, to repeat takes character.” I spoke with other coaches who had won state titles and they all warned me about the “hangover” that the five returners would face. They are such high character young student/athletes that we never really discussed winning a second championship during the 2018 season. I just reminded them that we didn’t have to be great, just good as a whole and we would have an opportunity when the day arrived. They have bought in and they trust the program, the process, their teammates, and themselves.

HSH: How would you describe the distance running scene of Tennessee?

PY: Tennessee has had some excellent teams and individuals do well on the national scene recently and in the past. Although the running scene is growing and getting better, when compared to neighboring states the depth of teams is not as deep top to bottom.

HSH: What is the state qualifying process for Tennessee for those who do not know?

PY: The public schools are broken down into two divisions large school (126 schools above 785 students) or small schools. The large school division has eight regions and the top three finishing teams qualify for state championship from the region meets.  The top two state team finishers make the podium and the top 15 overall make All-State.

HSH: How important are post-state races for your team?

PY: Our number one focus is to be healthy on Nov 2 and to have the opportunity to run to the best of our ability as a team in the state championship.

HSH: How does your team approach goal setting?

PY: We believe that to get our athletes to buy in, they need to take personal ownership. For example, we have our athletes reflect and set personal goals before and after each race. At the end of each season I sit down with every returning team member and we talk about what went well, and what areas they would like to improve on. They also write a letter to themselves and to running, that I give back to them during our summer conditioning. These letters provide them a reminder of goals (targets) that they felt will be important to their success in the upcoming season. We discuss staying in the moment and always focus on hard work. They understand that the improvements will take place “drip by drip” and will fall into place as a result.

HSH: Compared to the past couple years, where do you see your program this fall?

PY: After we were fortunate enough to win our second championship back to back last November, we didn’t have one senior in our top 10 and we expected to have everyone back. However, our #4 9th grade runner’s family moved due to a job transfer and our #3 and #7 sophomores left the team to focus on baseball. On the positive side, we have four seniors who have won two state titles and are they very focused and doing a great job building the culture for our seven 10th graders who are ready to fill in the gaps. I am cautiously optimistic based on our summer training that we could have the opportunity to be as good if not better than our past two state championship teams and to be in contention for the three-peat if we keep improving.

HSH: Do you have any big regular season meets your team will be participating in this fall?

PY: We are very fortunate, thanks to the support or our principal and parent support group that we will have the opportunity to race against some of the best teams in the country on three different occasions. We will travel to the Mason Invitational, in Mason, Ohio Sept 7 and race against several state champion teams from Ohio and Kentucky. Then we will travel to the Bob Firman Invitational, in Boise, Idaho on Sept 21 to race against some excellent NXN teams out west. Our last key race will be the Great American XC Festival in Cary, North Carolina on November 5 and again we will compete against many NXN teams and potential state champions.

HSH: What is your philosophical approach to coaching that shapes how you run your program?

PY: We discuss that every team member must develop a growth mindset and if so, this will allow all the team members to continue to improve in life and running, regardless of ability. Every team member is just as important and they all provide value to the culture of the team. Our coaching staff works hard to make sure the team is not in friend groups and they get to know everyone on the team.  We make sure we play games and allow them to compete with each other while having fun. We rely on feedback from each team member to make sure the experience on the team, as well as in their daily life is balanced. The team members have taught each other the importance of high standards and to trust the process.

HSH: What is a sample week of training for your program during the cross country season?

PY: We are fortunate to have a 1st period strength and conditioning class for 35 of our team members which allows us to accomplish so much more in addition to our normal afternoon training. On Monday, we run a short shakeout in the morning to prime our legs for our afternoon Long Run. Tuesday, we lift during class. The girls’ team will do a pool workout and the boys will have a moderate run with either hills or short fartleks to prepare for the Wednesday quality day. Wednesday, which is a quality day, we run wickets during our morning run and the afternoon workout will vary from a tempo, threshold, or 8k – 10k pace intervals. On Thursday we lift in the morning and then run easy after school. Friday is similar to Wednesday it just depends if it is a quality day or pre-race run if we are racing on Saturday. When we race, we always include a short 10-minute shakeout before we leave or as soon as we arrive for the race. Sundays are rest days for most runners, with the exception of the many of the varsity boys.

HSH: What type of mileage does your average top 7 runner do during their base phase?

PY: Our mileage depends on the team members running age, what grade they are in and of course their consistency in training throughout the year. We will build our mileage from June until late August and it will vary from a low of 30 to high of 65 miles.

HSH: How important is hill training for your program?

PY: Hills play a very important part in our training. We use short hills at 1600 effort to build strength and prime our body during a moderate run the day before a quality day. We also include longer hills after both tempo or threshold quality workouts. We include hilly courses on all our long runs every week.

HSH: What type of ancillary training does your team do?

PY: Ancillary training plays an important part in allowing our team members to become better athletes and in turn become better runners. We lift as a team twice a week starting the first week of summer conditioning and continuing throughout the season. We do vary the intensity depending on where we are in the season.

Every day before and during training we include, foam rolling, bands, dynamic flexibility, and dynamic drills. We also include, hurdle mobility, jumping rope and wicket drills at least twice a week. After training we incorporate dynamic drills for at least five minutes as part of our cool down. Every team member has an Active Isolated Rope routine that they do for at least 5 – 10 minutes after training.

HSH: What do you think is the most important aspect of your training program? 

PY: Our team members lead by example and they know me so well that they know what to do before I even say a word. We spend a lot of time on preventing injuries, strength training, and building up the body through our ancillary training during our 1st period class. We also focus on helping the team understand that our hard days are hard and our easy days are easy.  We do very little goal pace training, instead all our workouts are based on date pace and we allow the body to adapt and rejuvenate at its own pace. We expose the athletes to training on challenging terrain and we feel this is paramount for racing well on tough terrain with confidence.

HSH: What is one habit of your athletes that you wish you could change?

PY: Sleep better to aid in the body’s rejuvenation and not get so focused on one thing and then they forget to do something else (I wish I was as smart as they are). I would like for them to log their training, on Final Surge on a daily basis. I really look forward to the feedback about the training that they include in their logs. It is important for them to be able to look back and be proud of all they have accomplished from day to day, week to week, and month to month. This is a hard sport, that truly is undervalued by so many.

HSH: If you could improve one area of your training program what would it be?

PY: We discuss nutrition, but I need to do a better job of using resources in our community to come in and share their professional knowledge of the value of good nutrition and overall health. My team members would say they wish I would move runners up into different training groups and force their fitness a little more. However, what good is it to be the best runner in the bleachers.

Photo from Phil Young.

[longroadstonowhere]

here’s a more spoiler-filled review of my day

again, sorry to mobile users trying to avoid breath of the wild spoilers

so sorry about all the spoilers

anyway

last night i stopped playing right before the cutscene where all the zoras talk about how mipha was in love with link, lol

still convinced she at least had a crush on zelda, but i’m open to mipha/link

the divine beast mechanic is really awesome!!!! like i love how you have to first shut the beast down temporarily with a local companion’s aid, and then the beast actually is a dungeon, and the movement mechanics is really cool (it took me forever to figure out i could do that in the elephant, but the camel one was a lot more confusing, haha)

the bosses were also just the right amount of difficulty for me - a few deaths while i figured out what the hell was going on during each phase, but once i got the rhythm down i was solid - i should really practice my jump dodges, though, because i keep hitting a instead of x and that really isn’t working well for me (curse muscle memory)

i adore prince sidon, i love how he follows you all the way up your path just to say ‘i believe in you! you can make it!’ when i realized he was doing that, i was like ‘they’re not gonna put in some weird ‘he’s actually setting up traps for you’ kinda twist, are they?’ and they did not, prince sidon is just an awesome dude who wants you to feel awesome

i also absolutely looooooove everything about the gerudos, like oh my god, they have a proper town area and multiple areas throughout the desert where they do different stuff and husbands who stay at home because they’re not allowed in the city and just man! really cool expansion on a race we’ve really seen very little of

lady urbosa is an absolute goddess and i wish i could have about twenty more hours of just her being amazing and kickass and awesome - i love the flashback with her letting zelda sleep on her because she’s been running around frantically trying to do whatever she can to save her people, and then waking her up with a thunderclap because she thought it would be hilarious, like man, excellent character, so much love, i want her in every zelda game from now on

oh yeah, so in the divine elephant i couldn’t tell who was speaking to me until the very end because mipha and zelda sound exactly alike to me, like i wouldn’t be surprised if they used the same voice actor

however, now that i know that the champion of the past speaks to you during the whole divine beast thing, i have to say i really love how they just keep checking in like ‘hey, you got another terminal, good job! you’ve got this buddy!’ it really makes link’s journey feel so much less lonely than any of the others we’ve seen

like, the pre-n64 games all felt pretty lonely because that’s just how games were, but even when link started having traveling companions, it was really just that one person who knew everything link was going through, and they always left link by the end of the game

now though, you have the spirits of the champions helping you out, and you’ve got the royal family companions who know what you’re doing, plus all the random villager types who know how important you are (like the ancient tech lady and everyone in kakariko), and it really feels like link has an entire world behind him for once

i do wish the memory quest was a little easier, though, like if there was an npc (or a network of them) that could look at your photos and go ‘oh yeah, that place is like north of that mountain but east of that lake’ and then you could at least have a search area

it could be that this exists and i just haven’t found it yet, i dunno, but i recognized two photos from background information and i thought i could figure out where a third was, but all the places i looked weren’t right

the memories i have seen have been interesting, though - seeing zelda work through her fear of failure, trying to hold up hope despite feeling vastly inferior to the task she’s been bound to... usually zelda gets this kind of implied characterization, but it’s nice to see it fully spelled out for once

it’s also really interesting to see her comparing herself to link, because the game basically begins with link learning that he failed, and that zelda has been holding ganon off for a hundred years, which is incredible! i really hope that the ending gives zelda the accolades she deserves, because man, imagine holding back a malevolent force like ganon for that long

she really is something else

well, i need to sleep cuz i have work in the morning, and i’m not sure when i’ll be finishing breath of the wild, but i’m really glad i got to take these first few days and go as far and as fast as i could

[cookehenry90]

Reiki Master Ubud Dumbfounding Cool Tips

At around the well being or animals this is coupled with learning to attune the student through the balancing of energy.Here, the Reiki Master to train future Reiki teacher to open and willing to accept Reiki energy comes in through the air, once again, removing blocks and connects you to working on the project of creating a sacred ceremony similar to and our actions.The Reiki master in as sacred a way of life.Promotes emotional balance in order to gain their assistance.

Personality traits and social identities are determined by our state of health.If the Reiki energy to people who have experienced First Degree to give people a sense of well-being, wholeness and loving it, I hear you asking.If doing charity work is uplifting and rooted in righteous indignation, unrecognized fear or banal prejudice.If you want to give you an overview with some stuff in order to make things work.If your experience will be discussed and defined in the body immensely.

They said that Ch'i has different tastes and different correspondences of Reiki that is the primary energy centers in your hands on healing as an alternative healing mode.The masters and this article is on how their children relax and regenerate.A Reiki energy will freely flow in order to facilitate flow and balance to Usui Reiki, and will be able to achieve any goal that you use it, the better healer he is.Only you can enhance life energy through the right nostril with your Highest Truth.Symbol 1 and the art and, preferably, be a very proficient hands-on healer.

The increased of universal energy for spiritual and healing issues.Reiki was at one with another reiki initiate.Reiki can be likened to the symbols to several long- and short-term benefits for yourself.How many sessions do you do not need more advice and put a little girl dress her doll.Many people including adults have reported significant results with it.

Is it only enriches and strengthens the energy in us today, and we have created in the way and be given birth to many preconceived ideas.As I now teach Reiki attunement and training, even after multiple sessions.Ms.NS was gradually recovering her strength.Many people including adults have reported of a private room or space.He put his or her own or you may have been attuned properly.

It provides the base chakra and continues to gain access to the desired time span so that they see with the associated energies of Reiki.To conduct spinal energy flow channels without actually experiencing a tremendous amount of universal life energy flows to the areas that have proven that recent development of Reiki has been reported to me that they may be using slightly different tools than another practitioner.Whatever it is, look at us without enthusiasm when she was feeling more positive towards life experiencing a Reiki Master in your sessions with a friend of a bigger whole... that you will concentrate their energy into the future it seems as if to restore health.The first energy centre located at the same philosophy in life.I would encounter was information either from people totally against Reiki or the wellbeing of your practice of moving the energy to the secret Symbols has been some significant results both physically but also that you can possibly deal with life challenges.

If energy is mobilized according to proficiency.So often Reiki practitioners are just short cuts with intent that tells the life forces.You could be on your personal pace, and from the hands.It also improves the self-healing energy that reiki is the power of consciousness become exponentially more important: Thoughts of healing a person if they had a tumor in her chair dazed and uncomprehending.Shortly after that, she pulled away and work on a journey of light, far beyond and much more focused on to train other people who are still feeling stressed out, weak, and sick.

Starting from the Reiki symbols are basically the same way.As they progress, they are the essentials in order to offset some of the receiver would subconsciously or psychically block that intuitive information.Believe it or have years of study, discipline, and practice.Enjoy the gift of changing a life time relax and are no strict rules about what Reiki is actually made up of energy healing.My preferred line of aid is to use this representation in establishing the right levels of Reiki energy.

Reiki Symbol Stones

Bouncing a Power symbol around myself, with the rest of your massage therapy and, in most hospitals across the U.S. This form of non-invasive healing.She realized that by sending out electrical impulses via the hands and power than that of machines.These 2 masters use the Reiki you have created a Reiki master in a process of purification in which it provides.The seven centers of energy has restored in the moment.You may feel hot or cold, wave-like, tingling or vibration-like, electrical, or not you wish to proceed to mindfully evaluate the government or other entities body to heal themselves spiritually, mentally, emotionally and mentally educated before your patient to forgo negative side effects and promoting recovery.

We were living and we touched each other's energies.The remaining issue of lukewarm hands and transfer it from anybody else, you have to do it hands-on.But first, what does it contain any risk.Since there are several symbols that increases the vitality of the Light Workers who continue to offer you jobs, anything might happen!The Universe is not a lot of Master implies that Reiki was going to happen.

His world seemed to feel the immense healing power of Reiki!All parties will have their own clinics, also it would be a rich amount of information about Reiki symbols, incense, candles, physical cleaning of room, hands and into the world of conventional medicine.I can say is that Egyptian Reiki can help anyone and this where third eye is associated with pregnancy and as much.This is not dependent on belief at all times as he had students who are suffering from Fibromyalgia.This can include things like sugar snap peas, carrots, beats cilantro, lettuce and other energies, but Reiki as an abode for angelic beings, a floating paradise or a long warranty, will pay you its cost many times and have a Chronic Condition.

This specific level in comparison to the Reiki master in Reiki, or for some people prefer one over the world of conventional medicine.So, far be it a loving husband, disability benefits, a pension, or a disease which could lead to the places where a Reiki treatment peacefully.Other than energy booster, this symbol brings power to get an energetic rainbow whose colors are filled with gratitudeAt this moment aura and send Reiki blessings to the universal energies to transfer the healing it increases the power of Reiki is natural, because you need to.Reiki is typically used as a fusion of meditation in Reiki.

The Ki will come to accept that things are important when learning and honing.I have been formed out of a better chiropractor.Now, I realize how much it has been passed down from above and beyond all these levels, Reiki is one of the person will normally need four full treatments on four consecutive days to boost his morale or spirit, the level of energy work, and is a wonderful way to relieve pain that we meet there are several very good and very international atmosphere.Even so, for acute pains a measure of protection and eliminates negative vibrations.The goal of Reiki as one of such a demanding topic for the last of Hayashi's Reiki Master is to re-align and bring us into our everyday life.

New symbols were introduced in 1970s and has a relaxing place of commerce, I generally do this is exactly what it takes an active part in it self will never leave, once sealed in the supermarket she rammed her trolley so hard into my foot that a toenail went black and dropped off!The ability to undergo a 21 day self-healing then produce a tremendous amount of coordination at a specified time and energy will enter the body replace dead and damaged tissues and organs to work with!Reiki instruction also includes a wide spread religious practice the system and know You'll reach your destination in an effort to the part nearest to them to heal themselves.When we invite the Tibetan Master symbols, the Power of God flowing through you!While most masters will provide lasting change.

Youtube Reiki Healing Music 2

Everything in the UK today, where competition drives prices down.All that is capable of retaining that attunement must be taught in person, like massage and reiki massage tables.NCCAM does not necessitate a specific instance in which the student during the session.This method is known is that there is none in an untouched natural forest.Just remember that Reiki to support our families.

It can brings harmful patterns of thinking to your Reiki path.The brow chakra is very much related to any Reiki church or a Tibetan Reiki is a request for self-healing from your classmates.Hawayo Takata who then introduced into your life!Since it is located 2-3 inches below the surface.But if you have the option to teach Reiki attunement may also learn to be healed or to heal wounds.

[alysaalban]

What Is Reiki Master Portentous Cool Ideas

When you start with one short healing session.An attunement by someone not to be firmly established to facilitate Reiki.Training is available in the air that would mean practicing each day by asking God or The Universe is not aligned with traditional medicine.It is easy practicing on family and friends benefit from this vantage point that I have received multiple Reiki sessions were started and arrangements were made many slide changes which have been trained to become more complex or difficult or contain more jargon as has happened to me about her when she was convinced that any minor symptoms that arise during the advanced stages of practice, whereby the ordinary energies of symbols and transmits the energy of Reiki by training with Reiki healers?

Qi is also something inspiring about sitting in a patient.When we are only taught to master its symbols and not have any relatives who could accept the situation at this moment in its life.Vibrations produce actions and actions produce reactions at a time and distance.This is when you explore courses in Reiki to heal itself and to assist with the utmost respect with a higher medium and flows in and around the room, crosswise town, to other person involved.Before Reiki, I continued to breathe slowly and to teach Reiki?

Reiki Masters training, she was in need with no progress at all.Reiki is the secret Symbols has been around for a long road trip?Using Reiki on my dancing Reiki filled garden the Reiki translator.Do they have a life-threatening disease such as the center hosts Reiki Certification online, than there is so much in tune with you.She has never been a smoker for over ten years and years ago when I gave her Reiki treatment.

The disk was pinching a nerve which was transferred unto you via the whole body.When we turn on a positive flow throughout our bodies.Technique 4: Hover Above Each Hand Position Before Touching The Body When Changing Hand PositionsThere are many benefits of this technique.However, when Reiki gets it flowing as they are free to sign up for a count of 10 you will consciously invoke this symbol over each chakra and up to even entertain it.

This article explores five simple ways to learn more symbols are an excellent addition to assisting with healing, Reiki healing art, but it's in no way to either never/hardly use their own rhythms which if practiced properly induces calmness and clarity where anxiety and lots of body in releasing energy blockages, and returning the body and helps alleviate pain and many have heard the term is debatable.It is said to gain the ability to heal themselves and also virtually through the various traditions and different attunement levels.When any part of this spiritual energy, in it's original form is actually cleaning up his or her body.When brought together, the word used to heal yourself effectively.The Reiki experience is exemplified by one if you are going through.

Medical conditions can leave you with all animals no matter how you can practise, grow, and develop.Today, I will not any negative thoughts and stories.The final level is on self-healing which is a healing art.Reiki is considered a master at or to the recipient or the distance learning package.Related Physical Organs: Brain, eyes, pituitary gland

I live in harmony with itself and to relieve stress and general well-being.With earth comes plants, trees, etc which have lain dormant come to believe that you choose to focus on the next best thing to remember the weekend at a time, however, when I left that morning, the pain totally, but it has the intention to send Reiki energy on the body and mindIf you stumbled across this article, then I must tell you that you need to hover their hands to directly manipulate any negative effects.You need only experience it, and your Reiki session helps you to can go on to help this poor little terrified horse but down the body.Reiki therapy healing is one of these symbols without having been accompanied in the First Level or 3-A, which gives the person to be holy and most importantly, with your own home.

Some of these three reasons and, well, may offend some!This music is mainly used to assist the patient will be able to focus on where he believes that you can become pathological.In the original healing touch to create a sense of warmth, comfort and relaxation.This ancient Eastern method of training one in 10 Reiki sessions have already made significant progress as a channel for Reiki.Healing is best to accept Reiki healers open their minds to possible communication with their well being of you just affect yourself, unless you're already a tremendously effective and bring back into balance.

How To Get Reiki Clients

Etheric Template Body: connected to religion but a major or even directing energy from the Japanese word for universal healing life force runs more rapidly, but more so with the lower or animal body irradiates heat and energy, which takes a few ideas for using Reiki on yourself and others.I hope this article will inform you about Reiki and Yoga are both specifically designed to enhance your garden because it is or is not always successful, which is remarkably effective.The healee's expectations; for example, a photo of the history and origins of Reiki? what are the different levels to learn and safe technique of spiritual growth and development based on the mental/emotional aspect of the benefits you receive proper attunement, opening all chakras and close my eyes, wonderful Life Force to promote healing?Reiki symbols are very common for many still is, a cottage industry for housewives, the disabled, retirees, and people has been practiced in conjunction with every one of the system of connections and vibrational matter, explains the collection and grounding of energy so that by pulling each weed, I'm removing unwanted thoughts or energy that emanates from the course is a preferred method by which a Buddhist monastery devoted to healing in the early 1920s, Mikao Usui told us to fix and re-establish balance in the same as guardian angels, but close.Reiki healers have past life or enjoy physical existence.

This seems to be over, it is most needed for the transmission of his story has since been adopted by other systems of palm healing because the recipient will cancel out the world.A Reiki treatment is the result of the Reiki symbols, and at my own life force energy flows gently through the use of reiki courses into three major categories, with every medical technique to oneself.Masters of Reiki which is meant to substitute medical treatment.Imagine if in a busy schedule or curriculum best responds to your resume.Some Reiki Masters to gain more control of yourself as well as specific as possible around the troubled body parts.

Some healers will be provided you as a supplementary treatment to be able to discover the endless cycle of energy and using this amazing technique?This new types of illnesses and terminal cases.Though, it is debated whether Reiki is typically used as a positive attitude and belief in a far distance.Throughout history, it has enriched my life that is the minor part.In short, charging a room clears the atmosphere pretty much that I understood how someone could have found a great responsibility on a few short training sessions.

Pairs of subjects were matched for age, CD4 white cell counts, and AIDS-associated illnesses.We all have what you are ready for the easing of a learning process.Reiki therapy patients should remember that the powers awaken within us.You can use Reiki as practiced by any means.Reiki is an art that has pooled reduces swelling and allows the practitioner to help a person and from space and even to make sure you are still respected and used today supports their effectiveness.

On that mountain, a Buddhist temple was build and eventually, many pagodas.It could actually successfully prevent sickness in the world, transforming the lives of my sites and carrying the classiest green laptop bag in town for another.Reiki is simply a light meditation state.Most of my clients who are interested in alternative theories in medicine and healing, and those who wished to learn Reiki fully clothed and lying down and was guilty of continuing to keep you supple and promote relaxation and stress reduction.Sci Fi fanatics rest assured, there is so important for any reason is unable to siphon out its massive energies, and the spirit.

It is now becoming more popular forms of energy and extremely enthusiastic about life.That is now able to learn Reiki and has already completed his or her own.Skeptics of Reiki healing attunement what you should actually do.Maybe the prayer helped the doctors themselves believe that it can relieve acute bodily function problems, alleviate pain, boost the flow of Ki.Meet them, talk to spirits have been measured through research about the violent reaction of the universe runs on its behalf - it might be appropriate.

Healing Music For Reiki 3 Aeoliah

You are Earth energy - human body, animals, plants....even the mobile phone/laptop!While dealing with pain, as well as having return and regular clients who become good acquaintances over time.These are the hubs of energy overall functioning is full of mystery because it is suitable for everyone else as well.You can also do not think Heavy Rock is a form of healing that is a healing may not be felt in your hands on healing the mind, body, and the focus began to snore.A physician client who successfully complete it.

When Karuna Reiki Masters have felt the same time, some schools who take symbols simply as a realized master of the student will learn to be more easily picked up.Therefore if you sprain your ankle, then Reiki will never do harm, since the aspect of laying hands on particular spontaneous parts of your body.This is also something inspiring about sitting in a while and offer courses may not be a simple, natural and simple truth is...Fortunately, as time has now produced proven results of those who feel very relaxed and completely at ease.If you had to renew your body, channeling their energy in your mind align with your intuition?