#also i didn't want to spend more than 5 min on this

[fanartandshit]

Alexa play For good from Wicked the musical

[rubberbandballqueen]

favorite part of work today was when i told the kids to get into two lines, n this one guy was like "i don't want to" n then started talking to his buddy in mandarin, n so then in chinese i was like, "hey, come here."

n he n his buddy looked at each other n then looked at me with like that faintly displeased expression that means they've realized they can't get away with not being that good at english (or feel terribly isolated from n indifferent to the adults bc they don't speak their language) anymore

and then when i told them to line up in mandarin they groaned abt it for sure but they did drag themselves into a line

[doitforbangchan]

All Bark and No Bite 08

Another early chapter to celebrate my birthday 🥳 i am now a 25 year old child 👧 please enjoy and let me know what you think 💕

Masterlist

Series masterlist

Chan x reader (y/n) x ot8

ABO!Nonidol!SKZ Alternate Universe

Previous - Next

Series Warnings: Fem reader, Smut, verryyyy nsfw, chan x reader, OT8 x reader, A/B/O, m/m/f smut, possessive! SKZ, possessive! Reader, anxiety and depression, reader is a CRYBABY, fluff, angst, virgin!reader,  cursing, violence, pet names, dom/sub dynamics, Sub reader x mostly dom SKZ, misogyny and sexism, Ateez are depicted as terrible people (sorry Atiny!) 

Chapter Warnings: Smut, oral (f receiving), fingering, Hard dom! Chan, suggestive, kissing, dirty thoughts, cursing, fluff, mild dissociation, traditional gender roles, crying (as usual)

WC: 4.1k

MDNI 18+

Hyunjin could, in fact, carry you up two flights of stairs. Now you know better than to doubt his physical prowess. It seemed almost effortless to him to make the trek up with you on his back. The whole time he had you hoisted up you were able to see the muscles in his arms rippling. 

It honestly made you see him in a different light. You had thought he was an attractive man- of course you did- but knowing how strong he was… It made you want to ravish him. See what other muscles he has hidden from you. 

Good thing you were behind him or he would be able to see the gears turning in your mind and the flush in your cheeks. 

He took you right to the closed door of your room. It was concealing whatever your ‘surprise’ was. Hyunjin gently set you down on your shaky legs, grabbing your hand once your feet touched the floor. He lifted your hand up to his mouth, placing a kiss to your palm, then leaning in close as if he was going to kiss you. Your heart was thumping out of your chest, anticipating his next move. Instead he only kissed your cheek and whispered smugly, “Don't ever doubt me again, Baby.”

You had a look of ‘wtf’ on your face but he just ignored it, choosing to turn on his heels and head back down the steps. 

Before he went down he turned to you one last time. 

“Oh, the surprise is from Min.” With that he gave you a wink and descended the steps. 

From Minho? That felt slightly odd to you. You had gotten a feeling the beta didn’t care for you much, but maybe you were wrong. Maybe it just took him a minute to warm up to someone. Either way you weren't going to dwell on it, he had gotten you a surprise after all. 

Opening the door to your room you saw many bags sitting on your bed. Not just any bags, they were bags from Euns shop! Walking into your room and closer to the bags you noticed that there were many more than the 5 bags you had before your.. Mishap. There now appeared to be at least 10 bags. 

‘Did Minho get me more clothes?’ You wondered, suddenly overcome with gratitude. While you loved wearing your alphas clothes it would be nice to have some of your own, especially after Chan had literally destroyed your original outfit. You looked through the items left for you, and half of them you definitely didn't pick, but you loved each thing he had grabbed for you. You had been so worried when you were shopping that you would spend too much money, that you didn’t get all the things you had wanted. Looks like Minho paid you great attention though because he had picked things you had desperately wanted. So many pretty dresses and sets. And lingerie? 

Looking at the matching bra and panty sets you just knew there was a dark red blush on your cheeks. What was new though. There were also a few strappy numbers you would usually be way too shy to buy for yourself. It made you remember that you were expected to be shared amongst the pack. 

‘Did Minho want to see me in these racy outfits?’ You might actually have a heart attack at the thought. 

After looking through each bag you sped yourself down the stairs to find Minho. You went down to the second floor where you remembered his room being, finding the door open and him not there. 

You did take a moment to peer inside, though. His room was decorated in deep purples, and had a thick shag rug that almost surrounded the entire room. The space felt very mature and had a lingering scent of the beta. 

Your eyes were starting to close at the intense smell of him, a musky spice that was almost intoxicating. You snapped yourself out of it before you fell too deep into a subspace. No time for that you were on a mission! Next stop was the kitchen. 

You barreled down the next flight of steps, almost tumbling a few times due to your still weak legs, and onto the main floor. You could hear a few soft voices coming from the living room but none sounded like the man you were after. There was a smell of something cooking coming from the kitchen, and when you stepped into the large room there was Minho. He was there stirring some vegetables on the stove. 

He seemed to have heard you enter but before he could greet you, you launched yourself at him pulling him into a hug and smothering your face against his shirt. He seemed stunned for a moment- putting his hands in the air like he was afraid to touch you. It took him a second before he felt himself relax in your hold. 

“Fank you fo the clofes” Your words were almost incoherent against him but he managed to understand. With one hand he patted your head while the other leaned past you and continued stirring the food he was preparing. 

“You needed them. It’s no big deal.” He responded evenly, as if his heart wasn’t beating wildly. 

You pulled back from him with those signature tears “No big deal? Of course it is! You went out of your way for me! And got me even more! I am so grateful to you Minho! I don’t know how to thank you for your kindness.” 

He gave you a small smirk, “You know how you can thank me?” You looked at him with hopeful eyes, shaking your head no. 

“Wipe those pretty tears off your face.” He responded with a small pat to your cheek before turning his attention back to the food. 

You sniffled one more time before nodding and using your palms to wipe your face. It was then that your omega brain noticed he was cooking. That was your job! 

“What are you doing?” You demanded. “I’m supposed to be cooking for you!” You then tried to shove him out of the way but he wasn’t budging. He was surprisingly sturdy. All he did was laugh in response. 

Your lips curled into a pout and you crossed your arms angrily, giving him your best evil eye. It did not phase him at all, instead he just laughed again shaking his head and continuing to cook. You wouldn’t give in though! If the glare wouldn’t work you would try being sweet. 

Unfolding your arms you clasped your hands out in front of you and gave him your best puppy dog pout. 

“Please Min.” You stepped closer to him and rested your head against his shoulder. “It makes me feel useless if I can’t provide something for you guys.” 

Minho felt himself tense up when you touched him again. For some reason your touch was making him nervous. That is until he registered your words.He turned to you with a sternness on his face. 

“Don’t say that.” His voice was borderline harsh. You looked up at him shocked when you heard it. He continued a little softer after seeing your expression, “ You’re not useless, you provide enough” 

‘Or you're going to start soon enough.’ He thought to himself.��

“I like cooking, it's calming to me. If you really want we can split it up and I’ll let you make breakfasts and the occasional dinner.” 

Your eyes shined at the prospect of being allowed to contribute, nodding your head rapidly. You would take anything you could get. “Yes! Thank you Minho!” You hugged him again quickly before skipping out of the kitchen, happy with the agreement. 

The beta called out after you “Tell everyone 5 minutes til’ dinner!” 

“You got it!” 

Wandering back into the living room Felix and Jisung were still lazily strewn on the loveseat but now Changbin and Jeongin were also in there, the group playing Mario kart on the switch that was hooked up to the tv. You stood in the entryway for a moment watching them play. 

It brought back memories of you playing games with your siblings, back when things were simpler. It felt like they were, anyway. You had a pretty normal childhood all things considered. You had a good relationship with your siblings, you had friends, you were doing well in school- fuck, you were even planning on going to college to become a zoologist. You were happy. 

That all changed for you the second you turned 16, when you presented as an omega and had to forget about ever having a normal life. 

You must have been stuck pretty far in your own mind because you didn’t hear Changbin calling your name until he touched your arm in concern. 

“Huh?” You asked as you snapped out of it. 

The alpha had a look of worry etched on his face, “You’ve been standing there in a daze for a few minutes, Baby. Are you ok?” His rough hand cupped your cheek and you leaned into it comfortingly. 

You nodded, “Mmhmm. Sorry, just thinking.” Then you looked past him at everyone in the room, “Minho said dinner was about done.” As you said Changbins stomach let out a loud gurgle, causing the other boys present to burst into chuckles. 

Changbin released your face with a wide grin, “Why didn’t you say so!” Then he cupped his hands over his mouth to project into the entire house. 

“DINNER TIME EVERYONE!” 

You giggled at his antics and everyone made their way into the dining room to enjoy a meal together.

---------------------------------------------

Dinner was a quieter affair, it seems like everyone was still mellowed out since the joint nap you all took, the tiredness still present. That's not to say it wasn't full of jokes, that will never stop. By the time you had all eaten and cleaned up it was now quite dark outside, the light completely disappearing behind the mountains. 

Even though you slept away most of the day you could still feel the drowsiness behind your eyes. You were sitting in Chan's lap with your head resting against his chest while he joked with the other guys, the tv on in the background but no one was paying any attention to it. 

Your alpha had his hand on your thigh, rubbing slow circles into your warm skin. He could sense you slipping away every now and again, and had decided it was time to take you to bed. You had a big day tomorrow, anyways. 

“Are you ready for bed, omega?” He whispered against your hair, placing a kiss there. 

You gave him a slow nod, “Mmhmm.” He scooped you up into his arms and stood from where you were both seated on the recliner. 

“Say goodnight to the boys, baby.” 

You lightly lifted your hand and gave them a wave, “Goodnight boys.” 

“Goodnight, Baby!” They chorused, with Jisung adding in a little “I’ll miss you!” there at the end.

The tired giggle you let out almost made their hearts stop beating. It was so cute. “Miss you too Ji.”   

Chan carried you up the stairs and into his room where he set you gently in his bed. You immediately nuzzled yourself into his comforter. He spoke softly to you, “Before you fall asleep there's something we have to talk about, Baby.” 

There was a sudden inkling of anxiety in your stomach. Have you done something wrong? Were you being too much? What if he- You were brought out of your thoughts by Chan placing a chaste kiss on your mouth. 

“I can almost see your brain running a million miles an hour, nothing is wrong Omega.” You felt yourself relax at his reassurance. “I was actually going to check in with you, about how you are feeling about the pack. And about what we had discussed a few days ago.” His hands were back on your thighs,  the heat of his strong hands igniting something inside of you. “The other boys are quite fond of you, you know that baby?” He was staring deep into your eyes, smirking as if he could see how his hands were making you feel. 

“I-I like them too.” You stuttered. you kept your answer vague, scared if you revealed how they make you truly feel it would upset the Alpha. 

He hummed, his hands hiking up even higher-inching closer and closer to your core. He paused his movements, “ How much do you like them, my love? Do you like them enough to let them touch you like this?” 

You were apprehensive to answer him, so he pressed further. “You know, if you're worried I’d be mad or jealous, that’s not something you have to be concerned about. In fact, I would prefer it if you wanted them like they want you.” He smirked at the hitch in your breath. 

“And how do they want me, Alpha?”  The words were almost a whisper as they left you, your tone breathy. 

Chan let out a purr, “ They want you in all the ways I do.” His hands inched up ever closer but still not reaching. He leaned in close, his mouth almost on yours. 

“Will you let them have you? Will you be a good omega and please your pack?” 

The hesitancy was gone from you as you rapidly nodded at his questions, desperate for him. 

“Yes Alpha. They can have all of me. Whatever they want I will give to them.” 

“Good girl.” He praised, slotting his mouth over yours and finally letting his fingers find your core. The rough pads of his fingertips lightly rubbed over your (his) underwear, feeling the accumulating wetness that was making a dark spot. You let out a stuttering moan at his touch, hips instinctually raising to meet the touch. 

He hummed, grinning devilishly “ Does my sweet omega like that?” He pressed harder against your pussy, pushing the fabric between your folds. 

Nodding quickly you responded “Yes Alpha.” 

Chan then placed his lips back on yours, his hand pulling away and finding the band of the underwear. He hooked his thumbs under each side and slowly dragged the garment down your thighs, his tongue running along the inside of your lips begging for entrance. You gave it to him gladly. 

Once he had completely pulled the boxers from you he pulled his lips back slightly, still touching but not kissing. “You’re still too sore to take me, but I just have to reward my baby for being such a good girl.” His lips starting trailing wet kisses down your throat and continuing down your stomach where he lifted his shirt to reveal your breasts to him. 

You were squirming in at his touch, eager to feel his mouth on you where you needed him most. 

The alpha settled himself between your legs, spreading your thighs to make room for him. You were absolutely leaking. The crystalline liquid drips out of you causing the room to fill with the scent of you. 

“Who made you like this, Baby?” He asked in between sloppy kisses to your thighs. 

“Yo-you did, alpha.” You responded, panting in anticipation. 

“Hmmm just me?” His eyes found yours, as if challenging your words. “ Are you sure about that?”

You paused, trying to find an answer. “Umm..” 

He nipped at your soft thigh skin, leaving a red mark in his wake. “ You can be honest with me, omega. Have you thought about any of the other boys this way? Thought about any of them putting their mouths on your wet little pussy?” His tongue stuck out and he gave your clit a teasing lick. 

“Alpha please.” There was no way you could answer that. You were too mortified at the prospect. 

He growled at your avoidance “ Answer me, omega. You will get nothing if you don’t tell me what I want to hear. Do you think about them eating you like this?” He gave you another bite on the opposite side. 

“Yes!” You couldn’t take it anymore. Morals be damned. “Yes, Alpha I have. m’ sorry!” Hands gripping the sheets below you. 

At your honesty Chan licked a long strip starting at your hole up to your clit. The moan you let out was otherworldly, your hands finding his dark hair and yanking on the strands. 

You tasted divine. Like the sweetest nectar from the ripest fruits. Chan felt his eyes roll to the back of his head at the taste. 

“Please, alpha.” You begged, wanting- needing - to feel him again. At your pleads he dove into you, his tongue shoving its way into you looking for more of your sweetness. His lips found the little bundle of nerves and wrapped around it giving it a harsh suck. 

“FUCK!” You bucked your hips, shoving him further into your pussy. 

In retaliation he nipped at your clit and let out a deep growl, a glare in his eyes as they found yours. “Stay still or I will stop and leave you here with nothing. Do you understand me?” 

You let out a quiet “Mmhmm” and his fingers came up to replace his mouth, rubbing tight circles on you. 

“Tell me who you’ve thought about this with, baby?” 

Your own hands left his hair and covered your face in embarrassment. “I can’t. It’s too much.” 

Chans other hand that wasn't on your core reached up and roughly yanked your hands from your face, him now gripping the underside of your chin to turn your head to face him. Your eyes now locked on his as if he was seeing into your soul looking for answers. 

“You will tell me, omega.” He was using an alpha command on you, since you were bonded to him you couldn’t refuse no matter how much you wanted too. 

“Jisung.” You cried. “Was t-thinking about it earlier, Alpha.” More slick was leaking out of you at your admittance. This display of dominance shouldn’t turn you on as much as it does. 

Chan gave you that predatory grin, pleased with your answer. “Sungie huh? How did 

I know it was gonna be him. Good omega.” 

He returned his mouth to you, this time with renewed vigor. His finger found its way inside of you, rubbing your walls with the calloused digit while his lips sucked you into the next dimension. 

You were squealing and moaning, unable to contain the animalistic sounds that escaped you. The knot in your stomach was starting to form, all you needed was one push and you would be a goner. As if he could sense it, Chan slipped another finger inside of you causing you to topple over the edge. 

You came with a long drawn out moan, Chan not letting up for even a second until your convulsions ceased. He wanted to drain you dry and that's what he had done. 

Once you stopped shaking and were finally able to catch your breath Chan pulled away from you-  his face soaked with your essence. “You taste so good, omega.” His fingers slipped out of you and he lifted them to your mouth. “Go on, taste yourself.” He urged. Your mouth opened wide enough for him to stick the digits in. Your tongue swirled around them, collecting the wetness. He couldn't help himself, he shoved his fingers further down your throat holding them there while you gagged around him. You didn’t fight him though, and just let him do whatever he pleased with you, like the good little doll you were. 

Chan pressed a sweet peck to your stomach before  removing his fingers from your mouth and crawling up to be face to face with you. When he was at eye level you grabbed him forcefully, connecting your lips with him and tasting more of your juices that lingered on his mouth. 

He was the first to pull away after a few seconds, nuzzling your noses together and just breathing each other in. 

“You did so good for me, baby. Thank you for being honest with me.” He was running his hands softly along your sides. 

“You’re welcome alpha.” You responded quietly. “You’re not mad are you?” 

He would have scoffed if you weren't so fragile right now. 

“No baby of course not. It makes me happy you want him like that.” 

Your shining eyes looked hopeful, “It does?” 

“Mmm yes baby. You are theirs just as you are mine. Soon you’ll come to see it that way too.” You nodded at his words, the exhaustion now taking over. “Let's get you tucked in. You have a big day tomorrow. We have a few things to do in town tomorrow.” You nodded once more and let him tuck you in under his blankets. He placed a delicate smooch on your lips then forehead, and you were out like a light. 

----------------------------------------------

Once you were asleep Chan sent a group text for a pack meeting out on the back patio. It was a warm night and he didn’t need you snooping in on this conversation if you were to wake up. He watched you slumber for a moment, taking in your peaceful features. He really did feel so lucky to have you. Everyday you proved yourself to be his dream girl. 

He gave it another moment then made his way down the steps and outside where the other members were waiting for him, lounging on the outside furniture.A few of them gave the elder sly smiles, they could all hear exactly what the alpha had just been doing with you. Chan just rolled his eyes and smirked at their looks. 

 Chan took a seat on the ottoman by the sliding door, “Alright, I was wondering if anyone had any more problems we need to work through.” He scanned everyone's faces, “ I know it hasn’t been the smoothest of sailing the last few days but I think from here on out it will be better for everyone.” There were nods of agreement at his words. 

Changbin was the first to speak, “How is she settling in? I hope we haven't been too.. Abrasive.”

Seungmin snorted, “That's rich coming from you.”

The alpha looked at him incredulously, “I am not that bad! Not as bad as your other fellow betas!” and pointed to Felix, Jisung and Hyunjin who all looked at him in disbelief at being called out. 

“Hey, that's not fair! We’re a sensitive bunch and she's a sensitive girl! She needs us!” Hyunjin protested, the other two nodding furiously in agreement. 

“Yeah she likes our kisses!” Jisung chimed in, then looked to Chan for confirmation. “Right hyung?”

“That’s another reason I wanted to call you all out here. Turns out she’s not as innocent as she lets on. She’s been having quite naughty thoughts about you boys.” Chan's smirk never left his face as he spoke. He watched each one of them have a reaction at his words. 

Jeongin sputtered out “Is-is that okay with you Chan?” He was nervous his leader would change his mind and now be mad about it. 

“Oh more than ok Innie.” Chan reassured him. “I have a feeling soon enough our little omega is going to be pretty insatiable and to be honest it would be a lot easier for me to have others to help take care of her needs. I mean, fuck, especially during her next heat it will be nice to have some help. My dick is still raw from that little minx.” 

There was a collective groan at the prospect. They would have given anything to be there for the first one. 

“While we’re talking about it there are a few things i want to discuss. As far as a claiming bite goes, it would be ok with me if you did bite her. Just not on the neck. And no cumming in her until we get her on some non-harmful birth control. I’d like to have time with her before we bring kids into the equation.”

They all nodded in understanding, agreeing with the alpha.

“Has she said who she's thought about, Channie?” Felix questioned with a dark flush on his face. 

Chan tosses his head back and forth as if pondering the question, before answering teasingly “I may have gotten one out of her.” The beta looked hopeful. “Buuuuut I think I’ll let you guys figure it out.” 

Felix pouted, crossing his arms. Minho was sat next to him and pinched his cheek, cooing at the younger beta. 

“Aww lixie don’t pout. You know it's probably you.” 

The red in Felixs’ cheeks darkened even more as he smacked Minhos hand away. 

“I think it’s me!” Changbin boasted 

“Nah, you should have seen her face after I carried her up the stairs earlier. Gotta be me.” Hyunjin said convincingly. 

 The boys just went back and forth, all trying to figure out who is the first one to catch your attention, not knowing it was literally all of them. 

It was pure entertainment for Chan and Minho as they watched the others bicker. 

Comments and reblogs are very much appreciated!

©doitforbangchan

Tags - Closed

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[studentbyday]

week 1 / small commitments challenge

Summary: I was not focused on my challenge goals this week. I was preoccupied, thinking about the different paths I could take and weighing my options for the next couple of years. Not a bad thing, except I let the thinking invade every moment of my life I had to myself. That includes when I was supposed to be studying ochem and when I was supposed to be sleeping and when I was supposed to just be getting on with my day and doing mindless self-care stuff as quickly as possible so I can dedicate time to what's urgent. Yes, I needed to weigh my options and gather information across multiple days, but I did not have to go about it the way I did. It led to me becoming overtired and having difficulty sleeping which led to me being unable to get through my ochem goals which prevented me from doing anything else. The more tired I became as the week progressed, the worse it got. So my two new priorities for next week are: No. 1: Get enough sleep with a consistent sleep time (9pm be in bed, 10pm at the latest) and wake time (7am ideal but 8am bare minimum). Soothe yourself until you're calm enough to sleep. Like you would a baby (e.g. swaddle, massage/gentle touch, dark room, don't voluntarily subject yourself to anything stressful or overstimulating in the half hour before bed). That's how you stop and keep out of the overtired cycle. No. 2: Lots of meditation throughout the day! 5-10 mins when I wake up, minimum of 10-15 mins before bed (unless perhaps i feel less frazzled thanks to the meditation breaks which help me stay focused throughout the day? idk), and 1-2 minutes in between big tasks (those that take 2h or more) in order to reset my mind before I move onto the next task and give my brain a rest after processing lots of info on a deep level, so it can sustain that level of activity throughout the day and the rest of the week. I'm hoping that by prioritizing rest, I can succeed at my new study routine (which has also changed from last week as my priorities have changed...yet again) and work more efficiently and quickly while staying cool in mind! A chaotic breakdown of the week aka my sleep-deprived end-of-day gibberish where I try to make sense of everything that's happened lies below 😅

Monday: sleep deprived -> slow start to the day -> quite behind schedule. i listened to 1 and a half chemistry lectures, added to the notes from last week, read and annotated 1 of the 2 sets of notes i'm supposed to read this week, and answered all except 4 questions of a practice quiz on last week's material. asides from this, i did 1/3 of an Algebra 1 lesson, took a nap, and practiced driving.

Tuesday: later start than yesterday bc i wanted to get enough sleep. overall worth it, but that meant there wasn't enough time to get everything done and there were lots of distractions to field. i only did ochem and practiced driving today. i didn't even finish all the ochem i wanted to (i finished 1.5 lectures again, added to notes, started reading the second set of notes for this week, and answered 1/4 of the questions for 1 of 2 assignments for this week). i'm still trying to find a routine that works for this subiect bc it's really condensed (most weeks cover 2 lengthy modules at once 😭) and it's not a subject that's that easy to feel confident in just right off the bat...at least for me 😅 who knows, perhaps for the time being, i'll have to spend more than 4 hours on it a day until i feel confident in the fundamentals?? i also have lots to improve on in my lecture notetaking skills (i.e. trust my memory more and write down notes only AFTER i finish watching a lecture instead of attempting to write notes DURING the lecture and getting confused -> rewinding)

Wednesday: my problem this week is that i'm very distracted. still trying to figure out which path is best for me (i.e. to transfer uni or change program within my uni if that's possible...definitely probably shouldn't stick with my current program tho, that's one thing i've pretty much decided), asking around, doing my own research, trying to think of any combo of reasonable options i haven't explored yet (this is what i was doing for a lot of today). i really hate unresolved issues. they stick around in my head until it's resolved and even if i'm not actively thinking about it, i can still feel its presence in the back of my mind (and if it's big and concerning enough, it will keep bugging me at inconvenient intervals)! 😤 and this issue will stay unresolved until i have made a decision. and even then, i might still question it until enough time passes to show me that it was the right decision 😅 it's like...either i'm in "re-assess" mode aka "question every decision i have made and could make and predict to the best of my knowledge where it will lead me and do i like where it leads me?" mode (WHICH CANNOT ALL BE ANSWERED IN ONE SITTING SO HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SCHEDULE THIS?!?! 😵‍💫😫), or "put your head down and do the work" mode wherein i'm in danger of losing sight of the bigger picture. i swing from one to the other whenever smth happens to make me realize i've stayed too long in one mode. (like in this case where i was feeling very annoyed with my current lifestyle, finally decided to say "fuck it" to my strong desire to stay within my comfort zone, and explored other options and their pros and cons which included grad school admission requirements 🤦🏻‍♀️). i'm grateful to have this many options, but today i got so overwhelmed by them and the deadlines by which i need to have made a decision and the fact that there's a lot of ochem this week to do which is more urgent but also not as existentially worrying that i decided to rid myself of the mounting anxiety with a cardio abs workout. 🥵😮‍💨😮‍💨 it worked...but now i am so pooped and don't wanna get up 😅 (update: i did get up and did a little more ochem)

Thursday: too tired to do all the ochem i wanted to (i did a little reading, a little bit of lecture watching, and finished the last 3 Qs on 1 of 2 assignments this week). i keep letting myself get overtired with my overthinking against my better judgment (like, especially after an intense workout the day before??? girl, you need to sleep!!!). anyway, i've finally pretty much decided to just switch programs at my current uni but i don't think i'll really believe i've made the decision (objectively! all on my own! using a weighted pros and cons list! 😁) until the end of this week. 😅 it will still be a more rigorous program, although not in the ways i expected (but still good!), and it will challenge me in all the right ways but i won't rack up as much expense (thank goodness! 🙏🏻) and it will be a shorter commute and i will get to spend more time with family which is just such a relief. i don't want to fall into the rat race mentality, tho sometimes i think i need to. but perhaps that's just FOMO and comparing myself against others in an unhealthy way. like, i don't actually want a rat-race/hustle culture type of life for myself if i have the option not to live one, yet i sometimes feel like i need to be a completely different person living a completely different lifestyle in order to really make it in this society...well, there are many ways to skin a cat.

Friday: ochem lab, watching another lecture, reading the ch, working on ochem assignment, and driving.

Weekend: sleepy. reset routine and family time. finishing up ochem submissions for this past week (done is better than perfect! 😤) and driving.

[foxes-that-run]

2016 Haylor Timeline

Timeline Tag, back to 2015.

1 January - Yachtgate with Kendall, OOTW video released with Haylor references galore, including HS on her wrist. 12 Jan - CH and TS seen for for last time till March.

6 January - Harry posted photo of rain on a window. On 6 January 2015 Taylor posted Clear Blue Water" which may have been the day they last broke up.

14 January - rather than dine alone with CH TS encourages 14 year old fan sit with them

16 January - taylor wears outfit and hair like Delicates making of a song to visit Jaime King

17 January - Taylor didn't acknowledge Calvin's birthday. Taylor is in New York

18 January - Tabloid gossip that Taylor is jealous of the yacht, she had been liking angsty Tumblr posts about Harry. Out of the Woods official release Taylor back in LA

20 January - Harry arrives at LAX. Also seen in LA 22 and 23rd. Harry’s iMessage leaks and is stylesh989@gmail.com fans confirm it syncs with his IG

21 January - Harry celebrates 22nd Birthday in London, early, with Nick Grimshaw, stylist spends the night in his house. Kendall flies LA to Paris…. if she and Harry were dating she would have flown a day early and been at his London birthday party??

23 January - Taylor releases New Romantics. Kendall and Harry at Jeff's birthday roast. Kendall is wearing a Big o' Fur (Pop tart??) and leaves alone.

24 January - Harry celebrates his 22nd birthday in LA, also early with Glenn (Jeff's wife) and presumably others.

26 January - 58th Grammys, Taylor performed Out of the Woods, Harry posted photo of woods.

27 January - Harry signs with Jeff Azoff, also in LA. timeline

29 January - Taylor posted ““So how do you spend your time now that the tour is over?”” in Genius shirt with video with Meredith, I love it.

1 February - Harry unseen on birthday, tweets "I don't know about you, but I'm feeling 22."

2 February Harry looked fine AF in this Hawaiian shirt

11 February - Kanye releases Famous - it's snake time.

14 February - TN posts “you bring the James dean I’ll bring the red lip” Valentine’s Day. Harry at Clive Davis party

16 February - Taylor wins the Grammy Album of the Year for 1989. Calvin was at an after-party in a t-shirt. In Miss Americana (21 mins in) she says 'I remember thinking afterwards, Oh my god, that was all you wanted. You get to the mountaintop and you look around and Oh god, what now? I didn't have a partner I climbed it with, I didn't have anyone I could relate to, I had my mom, but I wondered shouldn't I have someone I could call right now? Harry in LA

20 February  - Harry records 'Sweet Creature' in LA. In the Album show at the Troubadour (21:40) Harry introduced 'Sweet Creature' saying it was the first song written in the studio a couple of weeks after his birthday. He was photographed in the studio 20 February.

21-29 February - CH starts Ole, it references Harry and Hendall The video (screen shots in the top line above) is about a guy who neglects his GF, the lyrics of the song are about a girl who cheats on her BF but goes on trips. The lyrics include "lowkey" aka 'Loki' and refer to the trip they take 2 weeks later - so he worked on it more. Kanye releases Famous

26 February  - Taylor out in LA

28 February - Taylor looks amazing at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party alone. Harry tweets 'you can shake an apple off a tree ' (Elvis Presley Stuck on You lyric)..... 0_0  and posted a colour photo to IG of a scrabble game thanking for voting for Brits. HS IG has been b&w since OOTW, but this was in screaming colour! ❤️

3 March - Harry tweets Norah Jones Come Away with me lyrics "The yellow grass grows knee high."

6 March - Harry seen buying groceries in Hampstead

7 March - CH and TS 1 anniversary TS thin and uncomfortable.

13 March - Harry in London, gets parking ticket.

13 - 15 March Taylor and Calvin Bikini photos in the Bahamas. A 5 hour flight, 3 nights, 4 swimsuits. Rumour they flew separately. Complete with swan inflatable for added shade. :/

15 March Harry back in LA at Cafe Habana Malibu

16 March - KK posts TS where’s the drop. Blind Calvin hooked up with someone. Harry in Beverly Hills, 24 at St Laurent

25 March - Taylor back in LA and Harry also back in LA same day, LA on the 6th, 11 April & 20 April (kid harpoons birthday).

3 April -Taylor and Calvin attended the iHeart Radio Awards, arrive separately. He looked bored, didn’t thank her. Made a face when Taylor thanked him, she didn’t every time. Calvin on his phone during her last acceptance speech. Rumors they are having trouble. Harry in LA he bought a fan’s family dinner the night before. Harry papped buying fuel in LA.

7 April - Taylor shopping at St Laurent, (which Harry had been wearing all the time) and looking like the Ready For It..? VM

8 April Blind Taylor and Calvin talk-fighting on paper walk. Harry seen shopping with Kid Harpoon and Kendall, “watch KUWK May 1

9 April Harry seen leaving Nobu Malibu

15 April -Coachella, black skinny jeans and Chelsea boots in top right of pool photo on Taylor’s instagram. Taylor at Coachella with bleached hair and a 'This Is What You Came For' jacket. CH performed. She also released that Drake Apple ad. KK there

16 April - Taylor vogue cover

22 April - Harry Tweet's "it's not the Ribbons in your Hair" Cars Just what I needed lyrics about not minding anything because a person is who they needed.

April 29 - this is what you came for:

28 April - Taylor is Bewjelled at Gigi Hadid's 21st birthday . Harry is not photographed there, but is also in L.A. the next day

29 April - This Is What You Came For is released. Taylor was an uncredited writer and has backing vocals. CH later throws shade about her not promo-ing it. Later blind that TIWYCF is about person Taylor cheating with. Calvin has an interview with Nick Grimshaw (!) in his house, where he says John Newman was there last week (Ole), talks about how John Newman has a great track coming, that the guide vocal (Taylor's) could not get better then he heard Rhianna's and it was much better:

30 April - Taylor NY for Met Gala dinner, wearing Billy Joel shirt. Calvin goes on radio and (at 2:30) says Taylor is on a break, they haven't spoken about a collab.

In August  the video has a similar hawaiian shirt but in red, he  posts to his instagram photos of him wearing one like Harry's

They then marked this day - in 2017 Harry marks the anniversary of this by getting papped in that same shirt! hahahaha

In 2018 - Calvin Harris later tweets that he grew a beard to get a Grammy

October 2022 - High Infidelity released, it opens with 'lock broken, slur spoken' and includes 'Do you really want to know where I was April 29th? Do I really have to chart the constellations in his eyes?

1 May - Taylor has dinner at Anna Wintour's house with Tom Hiddleston and James Corden!

2 May - Taylor at met gala, TS meets Joe, Hiddleswift starts.

5 May -  Erskine Records,

7 May - Harry, back in London, cuts off his hair - farewell LHH. 'Only a few songs' were recorded for his Debut before Dunkirk. Taylor posts photo of herself at Met Gala with "we never go out of style"

17 May - Harry’s friend Matt Irwin’s funeral.

18 May - Harry on set of Dunkirk in Dunkerque, shoots for next 10 weeks till 28 July.

May - 1D purchased its f to j shares back off the band and they sold director titles, each was paid £14m. They still receive royalties. Harry stopped using his twitter, PR tweets since

20 May - Taylor and Calvin seen together for the last time in a carpark. Blind that implies Calvin did something “I give the "relationship" another week […] what happened last night is going to open a whole bunch of boxes.”

22 May - Calvin in car accident, Taylor doesn’t go to hospital. Blinds implying drugs involved, but police report says no drugs and Calvin a passenger. He has a cut to the face in an SUV, other car a beetle with teenagers with pelvic features, the other car hit CHs

23 May - July  Harry shoots Dunkirk, in France on radio he said he just slept when not filming and did not make music.

29 May - Gemma Styles liked a photo of Taylor taken by Harry's friend Matt Irwin and posted that she had subscribed to Apple Music to hear 1989 earlier

2 June - CH and TS breakup confirmed on Twitter

13 June - Taylor rents house in Cornelia Street

14 June - Taylor first seen with Tom Hiddleston. Article on Taylor staged photos

16 June - tabloid gossip that Calvin Harris sent a music exec a dick pick was break up reason

23 June - both Harry and Taylor are in London. Calvin admits Taylor controlled break up media

2 July - Harry signed a solo contract for $80m, with Columbia

4 July - the last 4th July party, (until 1989-esk gathering in 2023) with I heart TS hiddleswift exploits. Harry was in London.

13 July - taylorswiftisoverparty hashtag trending CH was messy as hell on Twitter, TMZ reports taylor wrote TWYCF, the notes are now corrected. Joe in London

17 July - Kim K posts that she has a recording of Snake convo. Harry was quick to provide supportive comments.

21 July - Kendall posts "tea time" with photo Taylor later copies in LAWYMMD video. Also likes anti-swift posts.

28 July - Last time Harry seen shooting Dunkirk in UK

8 August - Taylor performs at oil heir Mike Hess's 30th birthday in the Hamptons and grinds on him, no Tom Hiddleston.

21 August - Daisy Lowe posts a person in a Harry styles tshirt to IG

24 August - Hiddleswift officially over, Tom has talked to media. Taylor wears this yellow outfit in New York which Calvin copied in the ole video.

25 August - Harry seen in LA, first time he has been seen for 16 days. Wears a similar shirt to Ole.

29 August - Taylor Lover Journal "this summer is the apocalypse" Nashville. Taylor still in NY. Rumour Harry saw her in NY.

30 August - Taylor not at VMAs due to Jury Duty

2 September - Kendall and Harry at Nobu in LA, Dunkirk wraps. Harry not seen for another 15 days after.

3 September - Harry buys LA House. He listed it for sale in May 2017 and in 2019 sold it at a loss.

5 September - Harry has dinner with Kendall then disappears. Could have been when he first went to Jamaica.

9 September - Taylor front row Gigi's fashion show

19 September  - Taylor writes a lot of reputation. Taylor flies to NY and attends Max Martin & Shellback studio. (The Swift Life video) Works on Gorgeous, I Did Something Bad, Delicate & King Of My Heart. Joe in London at Burberry show.

22 September - Hendall over, Harry hasn't been seen for 15 days.

25 September - Harry posts 3 white squares to IG

28 September - Taylor was with Cara Delevingne and Joe was in London.

29 September Harry’s another man mix tape with HS1 inspiration/ clues and Haylor love songs. Capital FM runs an article "DJs Are Just As Baller As Multi-Millionaire Rappers & Here's The Proof" and use a photo of Calvin copying Harry's St Laurent shirt!

4 October - Joe Alwyn in London, last seen 2 weeks earlier also in London. First time they are actually in same place since May. Lover Journal 3 January says they had been dating 3 months so that lines up. Their anniversary was never 28 September.

6 October - Harry in London, last seen 5 September in LA, next seen 3 November in LA.

11 October - Taylor, Cara, suki dinner, write it’s all part of the f***ing story on the tablecloth, post it, delete it and take it home

13 October - Taylor and Joe attend Kings of Leon show. In this video, Joe enters The Bowery with another blonde at (0:43) Taylor enters at 1:24. Joe in NY for 'Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk' Premiere and press conferences

15 October - Rumour that Harry was seen at the airport in Jamaica. He stayed there for 2 months writing HS1. (the funny thing about that is that the rumor was true and the 'insider' tumblr said it wasn't.) At 30 mins into Harry Styles: Behind the Album Harry says they had had a week in a 'total hole.' "I can't write songs" he said in the first time in a long time I had actually done something and then came back to the studio and wrote Carolina, which was the last song on the album. He's wearing the same blue hawaiian St Laurent Shirt while recording it.

20 October - Big Little Town releases "Better Man" written for Red.

21 October  - Someday is released. "Someday maybe when we're old and gray, We could be in love once more. Till then I won't give my love away, Darling, I'm forever only yours".

22 October - Taylor plays a very Haylor setlist at US Grand Prix and also performs TIWYCF

October - Harry records his debut in Jamaica. He meets Mitch - see behind the album. Worse version of Famous leaked.

24 October - Taylor at Drakes Birthday with a golden tattoo (dress) with Karlie Kloss

31 October - Taylor posts photos of Halloween party where she wore deadpool costume. Harry unseen, last seen on 6th in London

1 November - Taylor reveals she wrote Better Man in a post, it goes to #1

3 November - Harry seen back in LA at Kendall birthday and concert next day. Joe in Taipei Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk.

5 November  - Harry seen at Meghan Trainor's surprise party

8 November - Karlie and Taylor at Lorde's birthday, this is the last time she is seen hanging out with KK. On 8 November Trump elected, KKs husband is connected.

November - To Zane Lowe (48 mins) Taylor said about Evermore

"There was a sort of a double meaning to the months that are mentioned and the feelings that are mentioned one of the meanings is that we were I wrote this song and these lyrics when we were coming up to the election and I didn't know what was going to happen. So almost I was almost preparing for the worst to happen and trying to see some sort of glimmer at the at the at the end of the tunnel. The last verse you know the song is it goes through walking through the forest barefoot in the middle of winter or standing on a balcony and letting the icy wind just hit you and you're catching your death. Then in the last verse the person goes inside and finally is warm and finally is safe. It's about the process of finding hope again but it also reflected back to an experience that I had that was pretty life altering when I went through like a bunch of bad stuff in 2016 in like July, November all those times were just sort of taking it day by day to get through trying to find some trying to find a glimmer of hope all of that so I was coming from both of those perspectives"

9 November - Joe in Hong Kong for Billy Lynn's Long Halftime walk premiere

11 November - Taylor goes to Joe's movie screening, he's not named in press about it.

19 November - Reputation magazine "how do you feel about having a song written about you" photo

25 November - Harry seen in LA, then not seen again till 30th.

26 November - Taylor thanksgiving in RI, Lily D, Lily A, and Todrick. Karlie not invited, Joe not pictured. Lily D posts on her snapchat that her uber driver (Taylor) is “so pretty.” Harry MIA

28 November - Gemma, Lou Teasdale and Lou's twin Sam Campbell go to Karaoke and post WANBGT lyrics and Sam captions it 'Talk to my friends.'

30 November - Harry got coffee in LA

3 December - Harry arriving at Heathrow in London

7, 8 December - Harry in London. 8th seen with an ambulance behind him and fans wondered if he was at a hospital, his step dad passed away a few months later.

10 December - "I Don't Wanna Live Forever" released with Zayn, there are HS looking figures and outfits like the 2015 VS show

13 December - Taylor has party in London house she rented in Frognall, near Hampstead which is in the Reputation book. Karlie Kloss posts a throwback photo of Taylor for her birthday, years later stories emerge that they had a falling out over Karlie throwing a party at Taylor’s NY apartment which TS refers to in LAWYMMD.

20 December - Harry in London

28 December - there is an unconfirmed sighting of Harry and Taylor (Lover journal indicates Taylor in London. Harry seen in London (the next day) and soon after Taylor gave Austin a record signed by a friend of Harry's where Sam Campbell comments 'LOL'

31 December - Photos of Taylor and Joe getting ready thought to be taken this day. Later only 7 photos leak in 2020.  Harry in Holmes Chapel on NYE

Continue in 2017

[dearweirdme]

https://www.tumblr.com/dearweirdme/756239745546387456/whoops-i-feel-like-i-invited-a-bunch-of-nasties?source=share

Well atleast they aren't disappointed in me 🥹.

Just a few quick notes before I go (sorry can't help myself 🫣)

"none of these things that this obviously ignorant anon has written is how real relationships work" hey but that was my point. That is for sure not how real relationships work. Real relationships aren't dependent just on specific occasions. That's why my hypothetical me broke up with my hypothetical bf 🤷🏻‍♀️

"...because in the real world, people don’t feel the need to stick to their partners like that all the time and they definitely wouldn’t ignore their friends or coworkers just because their partner is there." Well....IRL people don't straight up ignore their partners either 😬. And they for sure don't leave them behind without asking them to tag along. Or maybe I've been doing relationships wrong all my life??

The way Jk behaves with Taehyung in public (aww so you see it too?? Aren't they the cutest? 🥰) shows more than anything that those two don’t have anything to hide-Btw, going as buddies in the military or shooting travel shows as a duo doesn't come under the "hidden couple" category either.

"I also don’t see you or any of your anons asking why during HS concert, Jimin and Jungkook “disappeared” together for almost 20 minutes" Yes I didn't ask this anywhere. But there's a reason for that, the reason is- I had no idea that they "disappeared" bcs believe it or not, I am not in-charge of their pee pee schedules. And trust me you don't want to assert the point that they were using those 20 mins for making out in the concert venue loo, bcs by that logic, taekook have been making out at almost every other award show, since they've had a habit of "disappearing" together during shows.

"Y’all must think this is some drama or something where those who are in love can’t keep their hands of each other IN PUBLIC." You say this and then you start talking about 20 min disappearances. Be consistent please 🙄.

"..would openly display their affection towards each other by holding each other while singing romantic songs, sticking close to each other, wispering to each other and all." There were four members at the hs concert. Two stuck together like glue, the others did their own thing. There were three at yoongi's concert, two stuck together, the other one was more focused on yoongi. There were 6 and then 5 members in '23. Two stuck together, the others did their own thing. Now if you want to believe that those two are just coworkers(bcs jikookers don't even believe in their friendship), and I am ignorant and don't knwo how real relationships work, then I'd rather have this coworker relationship than that relationship with a boyfriend.

Hi anon!

Well, they are probably sitting around being all mad because I once again hid their ask from all of you 😂. Thanks for coming back, I think the tone of your ask was pretty lost to them.

My reason for not believing that Jk and Jm are together will always be that I do not see it in their general interactions. Sure there's some moments that out of context look sus, but when you look at them in context.. they are clearly just friends (which is by all means just as important by the way, people should stop acting as if calling two people best friends is some sort of insult). No matter how many birthdays or couple days they spend together, no matter how happily Jk talks to Jm in his lives, no matter how often they are seen together in general.. I just do not see it in the way they interact. Never have, not once! So for Jkkrs to come here and use arguments about Jkk to debunk Taekook.. it just makes no sense. It is not as though we are not aware of Jkk moments, or that we are not aware of Jkkrs theories.. we know! We deal with the same footage, Jkkrs literally send their opinions to our blogs. I am just never going to see it. I still will not see it even if it ever turns out that Jk and Tae are just friends.

I can never take a Jkkrs opinion on Tae and Jk seriously, because I think a lot of their opinions are based on unrealistic views. Had I thought their views on Jk, Tae, and Jm as individuals are correct, perhaps we would have more room to discuss.. but with how they usually describe the three, I don't think there's a possibility of that happening.

[sassyfrassboss]

I do think Harry is a much more involved parent...

Sorry but based on what tho? He stays in hotels hours away and admitted it himself in Waaagh that he was an absent parent. Whenever he mentioned the kids he came across as not knowing anything about kids like when he said that a 6 month old Archie was admiring the scenery in Vancouver lol Kids are a lot of work and he's lazy and probably gets bored after spending 15 min with them.

So I don't get why it's assumed that he's a more involved parent and frankly why people even want him to be. This is a guy who fantasized about blowing up his father and seemed to be high all the time in his book and you just know that in reality his drug use is likely to be much worse. He beat up his bodyguards and abused animals and allegedly sex workers. He's filled with so much resentment and hate for his family that it's pretty much guaranteed that he'd poison those kids too with it. He didn't care about their safety when he boasted about killing the Talibans. This guy is an unstable, violent, hateful and reckless drug addict. He's utterly unfit to be a parent. She could v well be worse but so far there's nothing factually to assume that he's a better and more involved parent.

The better scenario for the kids in the circumstances would probably be a benign neglect by their parents with a loving nanny raising them instead.

On that note, and generally speaking, I see it all the time - people assuming that he's somehow better than her just because - and it frankly amazes me at this point. He's not and is arguably worse since it's his family that they've been abusing and trying to destroy and the way he had treated his grandparents in their final years is just unconscionable and frankly unforgivable imo. But people can't seem to get away from his old PR-created persona even when it has since been revealed to be a mirage and make the assumption based on that. But it just shows how much better and more successful a con man he is than her for whom it takes all 5 min for most people to see thru. Remember how he smirked when he said that people didn't know the real him in an interview years ago? Yeah. Even now many seem willing to get conned yet again and think that somehow the good lad Harry will be back after deprogramming once she's gone.

And that's one of the reasons why I don't want them to divorce. I have no doubt that most of the now anti Sussex crowd (and the media ofc) will turn around and be back to babying this asshole and blaming it all on her. And I believe he knew that he could always count on that when he married her and that's why he's the worst. He's weaponized her against those who had done nothing but cared for him while also using her as a shield and to whitewash himself and will use her as a scapegoat in the end cos it's what he always does. He never takes responsibility for anything in his life and that's why he's unredeemable. He doesn't deserve all that goodwill and it's utterly wasted on him since he will undoubtedly squander it all again after a while like he always had cos the problem is and has always been him. And the problem with him is that he's a viscious asshole who doesn't a damn about anyone other than himself. And his problem -- the main reason for this saga -- is his deep-seated envy and futile desire to best his brother, the outcome of which had already been decided the moment they were born.

SORRY for the long rant lol

Don’t be sorry!

I do see all of your very valid points.

I just think that he is more likely to be more involved because of how little she is involved.

Harry has so so so many faults and issues. Between his jealousy and stupidity…

[ughgoaway]

the sick dad matty blurb omfg ACE i’m literally unwell at the thought of mopey messy hair matty falling asleep in ur lap and being so flustered at u seeing him like that- brb fucking crying

also speaking of which genuinely insane timing how you always post smth after i’ve had a very long shift i swear theyre really the one thing i look forward to the most after work 😭😭 uninterrupted horizontal time with ur blurbs it’s true it literally is my fav thing-

also perhaps an extension of sick dad! matty but i just can’t shake the idea of teacher reader being worried about him still and asking annie about it at school the next day and annie just randomly drops a bombshell in the way kids do and says smth like ‘oh daddys so much better today! he’s all smiley and said that you chased the bad coughing monster away for him- can you come do that every time? daddy’s never had anyone do that before’ and it just b r e a ks teacher reader completely pls anyways crying throwing up

(- bff anon also has the can’t shut up disease i fear 😭）

OMG, IM GLAD YOU LIKED IT BFF!!! I just need to look after this man.

like imagine he eventually wakes up and its like 9pm at that point so you're like "okay let's get you to bed" and he's all sad and pouty and says "only if you stay over with me" but he's still half asleep and doesn't quite process what he said for a good few seconds...

wide-eyed, he tries to backtrack, "wait- I'm so sorry I didn't mean it like that! obviously, we haven't slept together yet, but- NO, NOT LIKE 'SLEPT TOGETHER' SLEPT TOGETHER!!! I MEANT LIKE JUST SLEEPING!!! ohmygod-"

you're like "no that sounds nice, let's go upstairs," and matty is silently freaking out bc you're gonna be in his bed. with him. sleeping. he's thought about this scenario 1000 times, and none of them included him being dealthy ill and not having nice sheets on the bed first.

(more rambles below the cut as always)

you get matty to brush his teeth and get ready for bed, even rubbing some moisturiser on him (he just sits there with a dopey grin as you apply)

he always thought you'd be on his chest or he'd be spooning you, but he ends up with his face buried between your boobs and he's out within 10 mins.

oh and the morning after... so much potential...

I must have spidey senses for when you're at work bff!!! the fact that my blurbs make you so happy you look forward to them??? brb vomiting???? that is so kind. horizontal time on tumblr is my fav too, its unmatched.

OH, LITTLE ANNIE TALKING ABOUT HIM PLEASEEEEEE-

I can see her spending the night at hanns bc matty doesn't want her to get ill and doesn't trust George or Ross to keep her overnight.

"Do you even know what 5 year olds eat??"

"bro, why dont you trust us???"

"Yeah... like mushed carrots and shit right. "

you put the kids to work colouring something but secretly call Annie over yo your desk, "hi Annie! I just wanted to ask how your daddy is today, I know he's been a bit poorly"

"...please take her Adam"

she immediately lights up and starts chattering away, "Oh, daddy said he's feeling much better today. he even made me my toast this morning, and he was all smiley the whole time!!! he said you made him all better and played nurse!! can you do that every time he's poorly? he's much happier when you are his nurse than when he goes to the doctors"

obviously, internally you're like "ohmygod he really likes me, and I made him feel better. oh, he couldn't stop smiling, and annie noticed because he was so happy and -"

but externally, you play it cool like, "Oh, that's great, sweetheart! I'm sure next time he's poorly, you can help him feel better too"

Annie is like, "Oh!! I hope he's poorly again soon, I wanna play doctors with you!!!"

you try not to laugh at her wishing her dad ill and just send her back to her desk, but the grin doesn't leave your face all day. thinking about the fact you made matty giddy makes you just as giddy as him.

the next day a bouquet of flowers show up at your door with a note,

"dear nurse y/n,

thank you for coming to look after me even after I cancelled our date. whilst I am slightly mortified you saw me looking like that, I'm more grateful for your help. you made being sick worth it. Spending any time with you is always worth it.

love, matty x

ps, I hope the next time you stay in my bed, I'm substantially less sick, and we're both wearing substantially less clothes ;)"

[poupeesdecirque]

Travel Blog - Connichi 2024 - Part 1

Thurday & (Pre-Con) Friday or: How Alu & I spend 5 hours taking photos of Cosplays that weren't planned at all

Welcome back to another travel blog, as I already mentioned before there is a lot to unpack, luckily a lot of positive things and sadly some negative as well. But I will start with my two favorite days of this trip. This entry is about traveling on Thursday, our Photoshoot and then the Friday Morning before the actual Convention. The Travel Blog will be divided into 4 parts this time.

For the second time the Connichi took place in Wiesbaden, this time I shared an apartment with my friend @adragonstale as after last year's stressing events I didn't want to stay alone. The drive was long but for once not delayed by traffic and I somehow managed to get the sword into the car, I am still amazed I did.

After we met up at the train station we fetched a snack and were able to get into our apartment, which was about 10 min from the event location if you walked slow. It was interesting to see how they already had build up a lot and changed a few things.

Then we went to the Neroberg for Nea photos, as I didn't want to take Crown Clown with me to wear it with 30°C outside... Nea was the alternative.

Have a sneak C:

I am very amazed how all the photos turned out, slowly I get warm with Nea and having the sword really helps to pose better for him aside than just randomly standing somewhere.

We then fetched some groceries for breakfast and our lunch boxes the next days, as we had the luxury of having a fridge. The day ended with dinner from a place that offered Buddha Bowls, mine was with Quinoa, Rice and I had added Pumpkin and a Sesame Soy sauce.

Thursday started with some good old oat bowls for the both of us, but I was super excited as ...

We went out to take photos with me as Bookman Jr. I had finished the wig before the Con and his Bookman outfit was existing already, one day I will do the new outfit buuut.. I just couldn't resist. And Wiesbaden is a city with super interesting spots and then there was the offering by the Museum that the first 500 visitors with tickets for the Con got free entrance and were allowed to take photos inside the Museum, I love museums and we just had to.

Some interesting spots in Wiesbaden. Except the mural one we used them each for photos, I can tell the photos came out so amazing I love them all.

And a little sneak for the Bookman Jr. Photoshoot we had in the city. We also went to fetch some Donuts and lunch .. I was asked if the white hair was my real hair and I was so happy. I felt really comfortable with Junior, I think this helps to digest the fact we got him instead of the character we thought pastAllen would be. According to the kids in the Museum I am now Zelda though :'D

Some impressions from inside of the Museum, to be honest the whole Museum deserved an entry on its own but we will explore it more with the photos we took there of me as Bookman C:

After the Museum we got the Donuts and the snack and headed back to the apartment as I needed to redress and get rid off the make up to get ready for the convention...

... as Mana this time.

[oliviax727]

Language Update #1

I'm writing this post on the day my duolingo streak has reached 30. Combine that with rosetta stone, and I've done approximately 10 hours of language learning total, or 20 mins/day.

Now it hasn't all been exactly 20 mins per day, some days it's a lot less, some days it's a lot more, but what I also have to add is that I only did 10 days of rosetta stone.

Duolingo vs Rosetta Stone

Generally, I've found that duolingo has been better for my education than rosetta stone. Yes, the funny bird app works better than the "serious" language course. Here's a few reasons why:

Flexibility

Rosetta stone is not very flexible. It's very rigid in it's structure. You are typically required to spend 30 minutes per day on learning, 5 days a week.

Not just that, but you don't really have much options outside of progressing forward, there are auto-planned revision, speaking, reading, writing, and listening lessons.

This, at least to me, is unsustainable.

There are going to be a lot of days where I won't have the time, capacity, or drive to do much learning.

Often I want to change what I'm doing. Instead of continuing forward, I might want to brush up on speaking or revise previous words etc.

With duolingo, the only requirement is that I learn for at least a 3-minute lesson each week. And I don't even need to do a lesson, I could choose that time to review a previous one for example.

Encouragement to Learn

You might think that a minimum of 3 minutes a day is not substantial to learning a language.

Duolingo is gamified, it is full of these little jingles, and animations, that hit your brain right in the dopamine pathway. It's addictive, and that's a good thing.

It encourages you to keep going, to motivate yourself to do more. I end up spending an average of 10 minutes a day thanks to this. Which is much more manageable than 30 minutes.

Rosetta stone on the other hand is slow and cumbersome. It feels like it takes longer to complete a lesson and often becomes a bore. In everything, from the speed of the animations, to how long it takes to turn on the microphone ....

Overwhelming Pace

When learning, well, anything that involves memory, the best way to do it is not to overdo it. You need to be constantly going back and reinforcing old ideas and terms.

Rosetta stone throws waay too much in your face too quickly, and then because it did so much, it can't take the time to allow you to go back and revise.

One day, I 'learned' about 25 words and 3 new grammar rules in a few minutes, most not related to eachother in the sense you could put them in a sentence. Then the next 3 days I did not see most of those words come back up again until suddenly I get introduced to more words.

Duolingo has done something similar, but it did it in a better way. When you're exposed to a barrage of new words, either:

A) It's made very clear that you don't need to remember the word right now, and it's just to pad sentences into looking "normal"

B) Exercises involving that word are repeated, again and again, so you are sure to remember it

When duolingo threw me into the deep end, it was often productive. I learned how to read sentences and piece together their meaning via context clues - even if I didn't know every word in the sentence.

Unclear Instructions, Help, and Translations

I'm certain that a baby could use duolingo. It's not too difficult to understand what the app is asking you to do.

Not just that, but duolingo offers a lot in lieu of translations, they incorporate translations in five ways:

Exercises asking you to translate phrases in Spanish into English

Exercises asking you to translate phrases in English into Spanish

After you answered a question in Spanish, your answer will be translated into English

You can tap/click on a word in English to reveal its translation

You can tap/click on a word in Spanish to reveal its translation

The first two are common ways in which duolingo tests your knowledge, or introduces new concepts to you. The middle one is a way of giving you conformation "oh good I said what I meant".

The last two act as hints, to be used when you're struggling or decipher a specific word's meaning.

Rosetta stone, on the other hand, does not offer any translation aid. In fact, there are no translations involved at all in the app.

Not just that, but in the 10 days I've used rosetta stone, I did not see a single English word within lessons at all (of course the app's interfacing and menus use English).

So how do you learn Spanish? Via images.

Now, given that the app's goal is to teach natural language acquisition, it makes sense. Because it prevents the ability for your mind to immediately back-translate new phrases and words.

The disadvantage is that it prevents the ability for your mind to immediately back-translate new phrases and words, a rather crucial step in learning a new language I'd argue.

Oh, and, using images only is severely limited when it comes to teaching you words that are:

Dynamic verbs (e.g. running)

Abstract verbs (e.g. want)

Abstract words in general (e.g. is, this, that)

Prepositions and tense

Adverbs

Abstract nouns or adjectives

Most grammar rules

This is probably the straw that broke the camel's back. Especially because there's no way to confirm that what you think a word means is what it actually means (as there are no translations).

Pricing

Duolingo is free, and has a 2 week free trial of its premium version (I recommend subscribing to premium). This allows you to try the app, and pull out if you don't want to learn the language or want to switch.

Rosetta stone charges you upfront for 3 months of use. No trial, no nothing.

Not to mention that super duolingo is less expensive than basic rosetta stone, on a per-month basis.

Using two apps is just a bad idea

Surprisingly, using two apps is harder than one. Especially when both aren't equally flexible to time.

The problem isn't that they teach you different words at different rates ... I was learning approximately the same amount (outside of rosetta stone affomentionedly blasting me with new words).

The problem was that it becomes a bit overwhelming with the time and brainpower requirements.

It felt like rosetta stone was a time sink, preventing me from using duolingo more often and learning more productively. So I stopped using rosetta stone after the first 10 days.

Still won't get back that money though ...

What Have I learned?

Alright, so now for what I've actually learned.

Grammar

Generally I've learned a few decent grammar rules that are different to english. For example:

Grammatical gender is a thing, and more prevalent

Adjectives come after a noun

Está and es both mean the same thing, "is", but one describes temporary properties and the other describes static qualities

There are several words like "well", "too", "you", "I" that have several translations in Spanish

Verbs change based on what the subject is

Diacritics exist ...

Of course, things are slightly easy because I don't need to learn a different word order. It's still SVO like in English.

Really what throws me off the most is the fact that adjectives come after the word. That and the many different ways you can say "you" or "I". Other than that I've got a lot of grammar under control.

Currently I have not actually learnt tense in Spanish. But I will, actually tomorrow probably.

Other than that, gender is difficult to learn. Mainly because you cannot always use the "ends in a" vs. "ends in o" rule. For example you say el agua instead of la agua.

Words

There are many words in Spanish that are very similar in English, about 50% of them.

Because the amount of words I have learnt are small, I will list them, all! Which will be a great learning exercise for me.

Do not expect me to spell every word correctly - I can't even spell in English correctly without spellcheck.

Common Phrases (or components of phrases) Hola; Adiós; Gracias; De nada; Disculpe; Dónde; Qué; Por favor; Lo siento; Buenos días; Buenas noches; Como estás; Qué tal; Bienvenido; Vamos

Short/Simple Words Es/eres/soy, está/estás/estoy, ese, este, mi, yo, tú, tu, para, de, o, a, y, demasiado, bueno, hoy, un/una, el/la, él/ella, ellos/ellas, en, muy, aquí, sí, no

Verbs (in 3rd person form) Corre, lee, escribe, quiere, paga, compra, bebe, come, necesita, nada, tengo/tiene, habla, vive

Adjectives Azul, rojo, verde, marrón, gris, elegante, bonito, caro, cómoda, barato, bueno, inteligente, grande, cerrado, favorita, diferente

Nouns (Food) Pan, agua, leche, manzana, naranja, queso, huevo, tomate, carne, pescado, jugo, café, sándwich, hamburguesa, ensalada, chocolate

Nouns (People/Pets) Persona, niño/niña, mujer, hombre, hijo/hija, esposo/esposa, hermano/hermana, padre, madre, abuelo/abuela, gato, perro

Nouns (Places/Vehicles) Aeropuerto, hotel, hospital, restaurante, baño, banco, tren, autobús, carro, bicicleta, casa, calle, tienda, supermercado

Nouns (Apparel) Ropa, camisa, camiseta, reloj, cinturón, vestido, falda, chaqueta, abrigo, zapatos, pantalones, sombrero

Nouns (Objects) Vaso, taza, mesa, maleta, regalo, reserva, dinero, boleto, teléfono, pasaporte, cartera, videojuego

Other (Countries/Languages) Español, Inglés, Francia, España, Australia, America, Argentina

That should be about it. Obviously, some words in Spanish are direct translations in English, e.g. Australia, hospital, chocolate.

Pronunciation

I included them because while they are spelt the same, they may still be pronounced slightly differently.

Spanish is slightly easier in terms of pronunciation in the sense that vowels (without diacritics) are always pronounced the same way. This is why diacritics appear - as to tell a speak when to pronounce them differently.

Diacritics are always in the form of the uptick, á é í ó ú, with the only exception of ñ. Which genuinely changes how the n is pronounced.

For example, baño is pronounced "bahnyo" (depending on your own accent the h there may not be needed).

Conclusion

So, I'll be switching to exclusively using duolingo. I do intend on maintaining the streak for as long as possible, as at least it keeps me motivated for the rest of the day.

Outside of that, things are going well! I'm planning on surprising my grandmother with my newfound Spanish skills much earlier, by Christmas. Because I am afraid she might not be around by next year, depending on her health.

My next post will be at ... maybe 60 days? There'll be less information in the next post because there's less stuff to talk about.

[ddiidi]

Secrets and Danger

idol!Leeknow x fem!reader (ot8 mentioned)

Masterlist

Part 5 - PART 6(not proof read!) - Part 7

Synopsis: Minho visited you in your university, which caused alot of stir, to which you reacted incensed. Minho ran off when you tried to explain to him why he can't just show up at your Uni, but on your way to the dorm to talk it out with him, you saw shocking news on your phone, which might end up helping you.

!warnings: non, fluff, kissing (lmk if i missed anything)

"This can't be..This has to be some bad joke!!" you silently screamed at yourself and opened the comments of the post

>>It's true!! He even visited her at Uni today. That was crazyyyy<<

>>Nooo way. You're at her Uni? Maybe she just sells herself <<

>>How can he even date a girl like her? She's not even that pretty.<< .....

It wasn't a joke. It really are pictures of you and Minho spending time together, the heading being "Is Stray Kids's Minho in a relationship with this girl or are they just friends?" you stood there in shock, not knowing what to do, before you ran towards the dorm. You have to talk to him about it.

You arrived at the Stray Kids dorm and saw a light in Chan's room, opening the door as quiet as possible. You stepped in, took off your shoes and knocked at Minho's door. No answer. You knocked again. No answer. You decided to open the door and go inside, just to find him sleeping in his bed, cuddled up with his blanket and pillows.

You stepped closer, kneeling down to stare at his face and patting his hair, "His eyes are buffy, did he cry? Looks like it.." you whispered, more to yourself than anyone, but it woke him up. "Y/n..is that you?" he mumbled, "Yes...I'm sorry I woke you but I-" you were interrupted by Minho hugging you "I'm sorry Y/n...I'm really sorry I caused you trouble and just ran away..I don't know why I did that but please don't hate me. I never wanted anything bad for you, I love you and I'm sorry.." he mumbled out with every word, hugging you tighter.

You were too stunned to speak. He was so different than usually, he's like a baby. You didn't even know if you're supposed to say anything but the only thing that came to your mind was, "I love you too.." you mumbled out and hugged him back.

Minho's eyes widen at you confession "What..rea-" "but.." you interrupt "But we can't be together Minho. You live in a completly other World and my parents aren't so easy about relationships. Besides, people are already suspecting that we're together because someone photographed our meet ups. Both you and me will get in trouble if, that we would be dating comes out, you know that as good as I do." you let go of him and stare into his eyes. "But Y/n...we..we can also just keep it a secret no?" "Minho you know that's dangerous, you wouldn't only get yourself, but also the other members in danger."

It was quiet. It was so quiet, that you thought you're going to die from the silence. You stood up and sat next to him on his bed "Min-" "I still want you." "What?" "I still want you and if anyone else has a problem with that, they can come talk to me personally." he said, while he looked at you with the most serious expression you've ever seen "Are you completly out of your mind? That's nothing to joke about." "I'm not joking and if wanting to be together with you means that I'm out of my mind then yes, yes I am out of my mind." you stared at him, with wide eyes, disbelife written all over your face, before you start to laugh.

Minho looks at you confused "What exactly was so funny about this now?" "Oh nothing, I was just thinking that this sentence was so you coded. Alright. I wouldn't be able to focus whenever you're around after what you just said anyway, so might just also become your girlfriend, no?" and after you barely spoke out the last word of your sentence, Minho grabbed you by your shoulders, pinned you down to the bed and passionatly kissed your lips, before breaking it again, leaving you stunned.

"Was this action also, 'so me coded'?" he says in a mocking tone, laying next to you. You turn to him and pinched his cheek "I hate you." "Oh I know you don't mean it." he mumbles back with a smirk.

"Sooo since we're together now, I can always kiss you and touch your ass whenever I want, no?" "If you want me to cut your hands off, go on. Me for my part is gonna try my best to hide what we have." you flick his forhead and get out of bed, to get changed "Why are you so mean to meee?" Minho fake cries out, while sitting up to watch you get changed "If I'm mean, then you must be super super super mean" you bite at him, while slipping out of your bra, slipping on a nightshirt "I want people to know that I have such a gorgeous and sweet girlfriend like you though" he mumbles "I think you already know my answer to that." He grumbles and lays back down, "Let's talk about it tomorrow shall we?" he nods and gives you a quick peek, drifting to sleep, you tightly wrapped in his arms.

[lazywerebat]

Hi! I love your stories and how you represent the boys! I had a small request. A GN reader is with Paul and Marko, but their relationship is deteriorating between them because of the constant fights between the boys and them wanting to be around the reader more. The reader, heartbroken as they are, breaks up with them and says they can’t be in a toxic relationship with them so until they learn to love each other again, they won’t be coming back to them. Angst to fluff, with a happy ending!

Toxic, Fight & Love !

Paul x Marko x GN! Reader

a/n; hey, thanks for request i hope you enjoy this! im glad you like my stories and how i represent boys! also sorry for not posting this sooner im having a lot of to studying to do!

warnings; Paul & Marko arguing with each other! Toxic relationship between Paul, Marko & reader! thats it i think, if i missed something pls let me know!

It was beautiful evening night and I was in my kitchen, cleaning dishes while listening to my favourite [genre] band. Everything was peaceful how I liked, I wasn't hearing any voices besides music and that was just right. When I finished with dishes I heard two voices louder than my music arguing, I stopped the song that was on to check it out. Right as I walked to door, it just opened with so much force and I saw Paul and Marko, my boyfriends, arguing. People would think this is once in a while fight but in reality it isn't, this started about few months ago. I don't know why they started fighting at all but those few months were rough with them. In first everything was going good, we would hang out at my place, boardwalk, cinema, beaches and everywhere where it would be three of us it would just be right. We would cuddle, share kisses, share each others clothes, share our drinks and foods and everything really. Sadly memory of when this started to happen its still in my head. We were on boardwalk, Marko holding my hand while Paul held my waist, they would try to get me closer to one of them gently but I didn't mind that, I was always there for cuddles and more attention from them. After that we went to this cafe, each boy on other side, we would always share drinks with each but that didn't happen instead they looked mad at each other. I thought that it wouldn't happen again but it did. It seemed like more they spent with time witb each other they hated one another, fights who gets to spend more time with me and they didn't seemed to love each other which I noticed when they didn't say that to one another. They would told me they love me then wouldn't tell that to other which wasn't just right. Now they were on floor arguing with each other again. I sneaked pass them to close door which got their attention and they just looked at me.

“Uhm, hey baby, didn't see you there”

Paul said with little smile, I just looked at him confused,

“You two are literally in my house and on my floor”

I told both of them with my arms crossed, they knew I wasn't feeling very happy nor excited to see them.

“Whats wrong amor?”

Marko questioned, getting off of Paul to me and held my hands as he looked worried. Paul was quickly by my side looking worried too. I didn't really know how to answer to that, should i just say what i feel? All of their fights are making our relationship more deteriorating and toxic. I let out sigh,

“Can we sit down please?”

I asked while looking at both of them,

“Of course sugar”

replied Paul. We went to living room to sit down, Marko sat in armchair, Paul on one side of couch and me on other side.

“Whats wrong sweetheart?”

Marko questioned with worry,

“Its just, um, you two”

I responded,

“What about us?”

Paul asked looking at Marko then at me,

“Its that you two fight constantly and it makes me feel, i dont know, no love”

with me saying that, they broke out in a fight, arguing about me, great thats just what I needed. They went on about 5 mins and I can't take this shit anymore.

“JUST SHUT UP!”

I yelled as I stood up to get between them, I didn't really wanted to yell at them but they won't listen.

“OH COME ON–”

Paul started to talk until I cut him off,

“NO YOU BOTH SHUT UP! IM SO SICK AND TIRED OF BOTH OF YOU FIGHTING LIKE LITTLE KIDS! AND IM STARTING TO GET SICK OF THIS RELATIONSHIP TOO”

that last sentence shook them both and they went silent which meant I did have to yell anymore.

“I can't take this shit anymore, Im done with both of you”

I expressed my feelings to them,

“Wait, you don't mean–”

Marko started,

“Yes I mean it, Im breaking up with both of you”

I stated, if they were to be alive this would make their hearts stop and ache. They both looked at me with sadness and guilt.

“Look guys, I can't be in a toxic relationship with you until you learn how to love each other again I won't come back to you”

I explained to them, they just said okay and couple minutes later they left. I felt guilty breaking up with them but it did made me feel better too. I really like them both and want to be in relationship with them, I just don't want it toxic. After couple of months they listened to what I said to them and were working on loving each other again. When they did, we got back together and were happy again.

[tsaritsa]

Congratulations on winning Nano!!! Any hot takes or unconventional tips on how to achieve a huuuge milestone like that in so little time?

Also, if you'd like to share, I'd love to hear more about the piece(s) you worked on during this year's event! Big yay if you want to tease us with a sneak peek as well. 🙂

Congratsss again!!!

ty!!!! i am afraid my tips might seem kind of obvious and not that much of a hot take but here's what worked for me:

writing sprints. do 10 min. do 17 min. do 30 min. whatever it is, just get words down on the page. after each sprint was finished i'd look at what i wrote, fix up the most glaring mistakes (espe if the words looked terrible. i've learned to live with a lot of spelling errors bc otherwise u waste too much time. during nano each day i'd prolly manage between 2-3 sprints -- usually enough to net me between 1000-1500 words each day. i wouldn't stop if i hit the daily total, i'd stop when i could feel the motivation waning. my lowest day was under 300 words, my biggest was just over 4000.

get a community. writing sucks alone. i feel very grateful that i've made some friends on here who were also trying to write regularly, so now there's 5 of us in a little discord i've made. we do sprints with each other and share lots of snippets, memes, pretty pictures etc. it keeps us excited about our own projects, but also allows us to cheerlead each other on.

get used to placeholders. i use TK. anytime there's a word i need but it's not on the tip of my tongue? TK my beloved. sometimes i'd write like she sighed in a TK kind of way, or like harry opens his mouth to argue about TK TK some work thing he's doing TK TK. it just keeps u in the pace of writing ur in, but allows for a few words to be spent writing down a piece that needs further expansion.

establish habits and goals. for me, it's stuff like trying to write the bulk of my writing with a nice candle lit, but also the silly stuff like putting on lippy so I feel like. Ready to do shit. have a few drinks avail. one to hydrate (ice cold) one to caffeinate (also ice cold). play music or sounds that will help u get into the zone without overly distracting. now that i've won it i'm gonna treat myself to some silly purchases as well bc i should reward myself for such hard work and dedication. i'm thinking a v comfy hoodie.

overall if i didn't have the community i had this month i think my external motivation would've been lost quickly, so find friends to yell at about ur project. watch yt videos about ppl doing writing! make posts and don't give a flying fuck about being cringe or not suiting ut 'aesthetic'. this is u. do it for U.

in terms of this project: the short version is hermione goes back to hogwarts post book 7 and has to slowly begin to recover from/learn to live with the PTSD she's gained. alas, draco is also back and she's gotta learn to make peace with the fact that he's allowed to want to change and that he's making small steps to become a better person than who he was. they're gonna kiss and be disgusting with each other. ultimately this is a story about hermione's journey, as the whole thing is written from her perspective, so although the dhr aspect is there, there are also other important relationships i want to focus on -- especially her and harry.

i'm ignoring/expanding on a lot of canon, and using some details from the movies i prefer over the books (namely her mudblood scar bc mmmmm parallels). i don't really know if anybody is in character but i don't care! this is my story and i'll do it how i see fit haha.

the following excerpt comes from late sept in the current draft. at this point dhr has been forced together a few times already. draco has surreptitiously managed to drug slughorn with a potion of his (slughorn's) own making during their potions class bc the potions professor was spending an entire lesson just showing off instead of. u know. teaching.

[gold-rhine]

Would you recommend Playing Star Rail to anyone? Why or why not?

no, i wouldn't. my own dislike of turn based games aside, here are the reasons:

1.Way too little content. Right now there are basically two regions and a starter area. Each has like 6-8 maps, every map is just corridors with like 10-11 chests and couple of puzzles on some maps. You go through basically all of it during main quests. They just released second half of the second archon quest. There are like some side quests, but they play pretty quickly. You can go through all of this in like a week max if you play slowly and bc some quests\puzzles are time-locked to make them feel longer.

There is simulated universe, which is fun at the start, but once you build your characters and figure out best buffs, it also becomes boring, because it's the same enemies in the same corridors. I enjoyed it for like a week, and now I play it once a week for rewards and thats it, which takes like 40 min.

There is also like hsr's equivalent of abyss. Idk, you can theoretically replay same fights over and over there until you get 3 stars, but like. I mean, if that's your cup of tea, I'm not kinkshaming, but personally I play through it once and that's it. so like. another hour in a week mb.

2.So, once you burn through available content, there is literally nothing to do but grind resources. I explain to you my daily routine:

1.log in. Do daily rewards missions for primos.

2.use autoplay to grind resources. mb upgrade characters if you can

3.log off.

because there is no exploration in hsr, there is literally nothing to do but replay abyss and simulated universe over and over

3.Again, because there is no exploration and limited number of quests, it's literally impossible to get primos if you want them without spending. You can only get them from daily rewards (like 60 I think?) and events. Like, if you already did quests and abyss, that's it, you can't get even one wish per day. say what u want about genshin, but if you actually play the game, you can get 2-5 wishes daily just from exploration and quests. And there are roughly bazillion more quests in genshin, bc it's a huge game that was out for years. I have 100% exploration on my main account in every region and I still have like 20 quests and hangouts not done there despite playing for like 1,5 years.

so in genshin, if you want a character and you spent your free event wishes etc, you can grind the primos for free. I know, bc I do on my new f2p acc, like you can get like 100 wishes per banner which guarantees at least one 5 star. I started Kazuha's banner with 0 savings. spent 30 whishes on kazuha and then 70 on alhaitham and then stopped pulling bc i didn't want to main alhaitham again lol, so probably could get another 5 star on hard pity.

In hsr, you can do nothing, but spend money. Like, I started Luocha banner with 15 wishes saved and at the end of his banner I was at 70 pity. I couldn't even get to 5 star pity. I happened to get him on the last day on 73 pity and win 50-50. But if I didn't, I couldn't go grind like in genshin, I could just spend.

So I think gatcha monetization feels much more predatory in hsr bc once you're through very limited content, you're out of options.

TLDR: play this game if you, like me, need to waste time and only have your phone on you. Like I'm often bored at work, this is why I make shitposts on tumblr and have several other time-wasting apps. Also make sure you're won't be tempted to spend money on gacha. Please don't spend money on this game guys. Its turn based, its easier than genshin, you literally DO NOT NEED strong characters to play, and like. Paying money so game can auto-play itself is just insane to me. Please don't. You can find cool looking anime art on the internet for free.

Don't play otherwise.

[nicistrying]

Sat 31st Dec 23

Ending 2023 on a high after a long, stressful Christmas week. We ended up staying at Matt's parents' from Christmas Eve through to yesterday bc they only live 5 mins from the nursing home where his grandma was dying. So we went to sit with her every day to look through old pictures, talk about her favourite memories, and towards the end just to keep her company and hold her hand because she was too exhausted to do anything or even speak. It was so sad and the one thing she said was that she just wanted to drift away peacefully so it was awful to see her distressed and uncomfortable for almost a week as she deteriorated. But I think it meant a lot to her that we were all there at some point every day just so she wasn't alone. She died the 28th so we spent the 29th with his family and tbh everyone was just so relieved she wasn't in pain any more. And because they knew it was coming they had already come to terms with it. So it kind of felt like a peaceful day rather than grieving. We all just relaxed, I just sat around reading my book all day bc I had been doing as much housework at our house as I could to avoid us coming home to an actual bomb site, and also at his parents' so they didn't have to do it after spending 8 hours at a time at the home. We came home last night to have one night together in our own home with our shiny new TV that all Matt's brothers chipped in for us for Christmas bc our old one was really on its last legs. Matt was working a late shift at the hospital so I spent all night unpacking, doing laundry and cleaning to get the house straightened up a bit.

Today though, we had a lie in together (got up at 8.30!!) and woke up to a gorgeous sunny day so we both took Mags out for a lovely long walk. Had lunch and a cuddle on the couch, then Matt went up to do some uni work before we go to his brother's for NYE tonight with the rest of the family. I did more housework and then finally got to work out - I've been craving exercise all week but had an awful period and walking Mags for 20 minutes at a time was painful enough, and obvs we were spending as much time with family as we could. Despite everything, we did actually have a lovely Christmas Day. Just my dad was a dick both times I saw him over the holidays which is exactly what I expected therefore not worth getting upset about.

Anyway, it felt great to have a more normal day today and to get a proper workout. I did legs - strength followed by 25 mins on the bike which I'm just finishing up as I'm typing bc I need to go get ready for tonight.

Outfit for tonight after about 10 changes

Hope everyone has a great NYE with your loved ones!

[awkwardplant]

2023 Reads

This year I've read 24 books - I had only planned to read one book per month, given that I've barely read since leaving highschool. But my old bookworm self is re-emerging! As I write this, I'm on my 25th lol.

I decided at the start of the year that I wanted to try an read a wide variety of genres, which I did. Didn't love everything I read, but such is life. Below are all the titles and my terrible attempts to summarise the plots. The ones with a heart were my favourites and ones I highly reccommend.

My full list in order:

No Destination by Satish Kumar

Autobiography of the life of a pilgrim who left his family at 9 years old to become a Jain monk, then left that to become an activist and walk across continents.

Not the kind of life story you hear everyday, that's for sure.

How to Invent Everything by Ryan North

(Nonfiction) An in depth guide for the stranded time traveller that needs to recreate modern technology from scratch.

Funny, easy to understand, and bitesized sections that can be read when you've got a spare 5 mins.

Moral Compass by Danielle Steel

A girl who experiences sexual assault while at a private school that newly became co-ed, and the resulting court case/investigation into what happened.

Personally I felt this read like a case-study more than a story, and the message was very heavyhanded.

Meddling Kids by Edgar Cantero ❤

A horror comedy about a group of adults that used to be sleuths in their teens reunite to solve a case that everyone thinks has been wrapped up.

This was recommended to me by a librarian that said it was like "if the scooby doo gang all had trauma and fought eldritch beings" which perfectly summed it up. Also, if you shipped Velma and Daphne... you'll enjoy this book 👀 The writer randomly switches to a script-like format at times, some people hate that but I personally like when an author does whatever the fuck, just because he can. Delicious dark humour.

The Rain Heron by Robbie Arnott ❤

About a woman who lives alone in the mountains in a country devastated by a coup, and is sought out by a soldier in order to find the mythical Rain Heron.

Nice prose and descriptions, and the other character's pov chapters have some great suspense.

The Mark and The Void by Paul Murray

An office worker meets a novellist who wants to write about his life.

I was really into the first half of the story, but the second half became boring as the plot stagnated

Resistance by Samit Basu

People have superpowers corresponding to their innermost desires, and we follow the life of a billionaire who is the leader of a mecha group and the lives of their enemies.

I accidentally picked this up at the library, not realizing it was a sequal to Turbulence, but it read okay on it's own. You'd like this if you're into My Hero Academia or other shounen anime.

Notes from the Burning Age by Claire North ❤

Set in the distant future after an apocalypse, an archivist is forced to translate documents from the "burning age" for the Brotherhood

I still think about this story daily. The writing has an interesting style and rhythm and the plot is packed with intriguing developments

The Library at Mount Char by Scott Hawkins ❤

There's a library with the secrets to the universe, and several people, called Pelapi, grew up learning a unique catalogue of skills using its books, taught by Father, who might be God? But he's gone missing lately.

If you like The Umbrella Academy you'd like this. Like Meddling Kids, it's also dark and funny.

The People we Meet on Vacation by Emily Henry

A journalist and her old friend go on holiday in a last attempt to rekindle their friendship.

I found this book on a train, then left it on another. Hopefully it got a new home! The story was sweet, especially the ending where the journalist spent some time on herself.

It's Kind of a Funny story by Ned Vizzini

A teenage boy suffers a mental breakdown and spends a week in a psychiatric ward.

Given to me by a family member, I am now a bit concerned for her. It has a happy ending, at least. There was a transphobic depiction of a character that was mentioned in the blurb, but she doesn't even stay for the whole story.

The Darkness Knows by Arnaldur Indridason

A body is found on a mountain in Iceland, reopening a cold case from 30 years ago, bringing the detective in charge of it out of retirement.

The prose isn't great in this due to a poor translation. The plot/characters are a bit cliche but not too bad overall. The ending was unexpected yet also expected in the best way?

Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldree ❤

Cosy fantasy about an orc who retires from adventuring to open a coffee shop/cafe.

Bought this after seeing it recommended for people that like Stardew Valley. I liked the amount of detail that went into just building the shop. The prose is simple, but I find that fits the main character, Viv, well, and there were some really good lines/messages in the story. I have adopted Thimble.

Leonard and Hungry Paul by Ronan Hession

Two unremarkable irish men consider their lives and place in the universe.

This would've been one of my favourites had it not focused so much on Paul's sister's wedding. The book should've been called Leonard, Hungry Paul, and Grace. I did enjoy the conversations in this book, and the attention to the mundane.

Summer Sons by Lee Mandelo

Southern Gothic queer supernatural story about a college student trying to solve the case of his best friend's death, while being haunted by Revenants.

This took me ages to read because it was so emotionally heavy and the plot moved slowly. Like it had some incredibly good prose and relationship dynamics, but I couldn't force myself to read it again.

Psalm for the Wild Built by Becky Chambers

Solar punk story about a (nonbinary!) person who suddenly switches jobs to become a tea monk, then leaves that to visit a hermitage and meets a robot along the way.

This is a short book because the sequel is the second half of the story. £13-17.99 seems too expensive for half a book. It was recommended as a cosy fantasy but the MC is existentially unhappy with their life for most of it, so the story doesn't quite fit in that category.

A Cosmology of Monsters by Shaun Hamill ❤

Noah, the youngest child of his family, narrates the life of his parents: a bookish mother and a Lovecraft-horror lover father, and the monsters they all encounter

Phenomenal prose, characters, themes, and plot. Lots of psychological trauma and inner demons.

Those People Next Door by Kia Abdullah ❤

A family moves into a suburb and a war begins between them and the neighbours after he knocks down their "black lives matter" banner.

Oh boy, it sure escalates to become way out of hand. It has a mystery element to it which I enjoyed trying to figure out. Lots of tension between plot points. The last line! Agh!!

The Fall by Louise Jensen

A girl falls off a bridge and the family/police try to uncover who pushed her, but instead uncover secrets about the family.

There were some parts that didn't make sense to me, and there was a lot of characters to keep track of. Not a bad book but it just didn't have that extra spark.

Bookshops and Bonedust by Travis Baldree

Prequel to Legends and Lattes (but can be read on its own) where Viv has recently started adventuring but has to recover from an injury before she can return to her group. She helps out at a bookshop and gets caught up with a necromancer.

Preferred the first book as it felt cosier, but the action in this book is fun too.

Days at the Morisaki Bookshop by Satoshi Yagisawa

A woman leaves her office job after a breakup to live above her uncle's bookshop and helps out, but she hates books.

Too short for my liking, and the main character was difficult to connect to and the relationships/conversations seemed shallow. the second half of the story centres on the uncle's wife and while it had a valuable lesson it just wasn't as good to read.

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin

Childhood friends meet again in college and design a game together, which changes their lives/careers.

This was not a terrible book, but it did have some strange descriptions, and the author doesn't understand how the game industry works.

The Hike by Lucy Clarke

4 women who have been friends since highschool go to Norway to climb Mount Blajfell, but they are not prepared for the trek

I felt this had some cliches, but a pretty decent suspense novel

And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie

10 people are invited to Soldier Island for various reasons, only to find they all have one thing in common... murder.

I was theorizing like crazy during this, trying to guess whodunnit. I felt like the reveal was a bit disappointing because how on earth was anyone meant to guess that??

Library books: 9

Given to me: 5

Favourites: 7

If you have any recs for me I'd love to know, just message me!