#also i did tell her azula is supposed to be 14 and she did not believe me lol | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wesokkasimp · 4 years ago

Text

impulsive (part one)

TW!! mild swearing, mentions of death, bad makeout scene

word count: 8766

You woke up to a splitting headache. For a few minutes you couldn’t concentrate on, much less remember, anything. All you could do was focus on the pounding in your head while you pitied yourself.

Then, it all started to come back, bit by bit. Azula had split off from you, Mai, and Ty Lee to find the Avatar, tasking the three of you with finding his friends. You had found and fought them pretty easily, but things took a turn for the worse when the sky bison flung your comrades into the water. You were spared from the lake, but had been knocked unconscious by the male Water Tribe peasants toy. That was probably where your headache had come from. But that didn’t answer the question of where you were. Suddenly, your thoughts were cut off by a shout.

“Guys, something’s moving in the tent. I think she’s awake!”

Okay, that was definitely not Mai, Ty Lee, or Azula. Something wasn’t right.

You tried to sit up and stretch, but found that your hands had been bound. You realized that your ankles were bound, too. An uneasy feeling began to settle in your stomach. It couldn’t be…

The tent flaps began to shuffle. As an unfamiliar figure entered the vicinity, you caught bits and pieces of conversation. Spirits of the islands, now was not the time for a migraine.

“Are you sure she’s awake?”

“She doesn’t look conscious…”

“Is she falling back asleep?”

“Hey! Whoever you are! Don't…”

****************************

You woke up again, this time with a milder headache and a clearer mind. Unlike the last time you woke up, you were not alone in the tent. The waterbender you had fought with Mai and Ty Lee was sitting by your feet. As if on cue, she noticed that you were no longer passed out.

“Hey, you’re awake again! How are you feeling?” the girl spoke, genuine concern lacing her voice.

“Who are you? Where did Mai and Ty Lee go?” you mumbled.

“My name’s Katara. You and your... group fought me and my brother yesterday. Sok- er, my brother hit you with his boomerang and you were knocked unconscious. Appa knocked your friends into the lake, and they were taking a while to get out of the water. We didn’t just want to leave you there, but we had to get going to see if Aang was alright. So we, um… Took you with us.” the evidently uncomfortable girl explained.

“What’s an Appa? Who’s Aang? And most importantly, who gave you the right to kidnap me!?” you barked at the now annoyed peasant.

“H-hey! We may have just saved your life, so I would be a little more grateful if I were you. My brother hit you pretty hard, I had to heal some of your head injuries after we set up camp. Appa’s our sky bison, and Aang is the Avatar. Y’know, the person you’re trying to kidnap?” the Water Tribe girl snarked.

Suddenly, a boy entered the tent. You recognized him from your fight at the lake the other day, and he looked similar to Katara. He must be her brother.

“Did she finally wake up? I heard shouting.” the boy asked his sister.

“Yeah, she did. Now, if you could kindly untie my hands I can leave and we can pretend this never happened,” you huffed, not wanting to waste another second with these low-life peasants.

“We can’t just let you go! You’ll probably try to kidnap Aang, and even if you don’t, you’ll definitely tell your little girl gang where we are! We need to stay here for a while so that Aang can learn earthbending, Toph said that he’d pick it up quicker if he learned all the basics in the same spot,” the boy sneered.

“Who are you? And who’s Toph?” you asked, seemingly innocent. In reality, you were gathering possibly useful information to give to Azula when you were finally released.

They would release you, right?

“I’m Sokka, the guy that hit you in the head with a boomerang,” he stated smugly, pride washing over him as he watched you scowl. “Toph is… Well, I’ll just get her in here.”

After a few uncomfortable beats of silence with the waterbender, the boy entered the tent again, this time with a small girl following him.

“This is Toph. She’s teaching Aang earthbending,” Sokka sighed. He was clearly already exasperated.

You took in the girl standing above you. She was quite small and delicate looking. As your eyes traveled to her face, you noticed her eyes were glazed over. Realizing she was blind, you let out a hearty cackle.

“What’s so funny?” the girl demanded. It seemed she also had a bad temper.

“Oh, nothing,” you sighed. “I just think it’s a little funny that the best earthbending teacher the Avatar could find is a tiny blind girl.”

A chunk of earth shot up from the ground and smacked you square in the forehead the second you finished that sentence.

“Hey! H-how can you see where I am?” you squeaked. Perhaps you had underestimated this girl.

“I see everything with my feet, dunderhead. Ever heard of seismic sense? You’re lucky that’s all I did, because trust me, Princess, I’m capable of a lot more,” Toph chuckled.

Okay, this girl was definitely a force to be reckoned with. Your gut was telling you, and your gut never lied. You made a mental note to report all of this to Azula.

“Well, it’s been fun, but I really need to get going. I know you guys don’t trust me, you’d be fools if you did, but what are you going to do with me? I’m a world class combat expert, I’ve been in worse situations, so unless you're planning to keep an eye on me 24/7 and putting better restraints on me I’ll probably escape by dawn,” you drawled.

“She has a point, y’know. Azula is the princess of the Fire Nation- it would only make sense for her to have the best team of warriors money can buy,” Toph stated.

“Azula isn’t paying me,” you scoffed. “I’d never accept pay. Serving beside someone in the royal family so closely is the one of the highest honors someone could get- that’s payment enough.”

“You think hunting down and kidnapping the world's last hope for peace is honorable?” Katara said, shooting you the deadliest glare you’d ever received.

“The Avatar isn’t the world's last hope for peace. If the other nations would just cooperate with the Fire Nation-”

“How could you expect us to cooperate with conquest?” Katara screeched, cutting you off in the process.

“Look, now is not the time to get into this argument. Right now, we need to figure out what we’re gonna do with…?” Sokka sent you a questioning look as he realized you hadn’t shared your name yet.

“Y/N.” you sighed.

This may be harder than you initially thought.

****************************

The group had come up with a temporary plan. They replaced your rope restraints with earth ones Toph made. They already had a night watch system in place, so they decided that whoever was doing night watch would simultaneously watch you.

You didn’t get a wink of sleep that night, so lucky you got to stay up through all four shifts. Katara had the first shift. Her shift was uneventful, it seemed she didn’t have the best social skills. She reminded you of Azula in that way. A lot of ways, actually. They were both 14, powerful benders, and overshadowed their older brothers. You couldn’t be positive about anything, but you were pretty good at reading people, and from the small amount of time you’d spent with these four misfits you had picked up a bit of jealousy on Sokka's end. Probably because his sister was a bender and he wasn’t. It was understandable- you’d probably be jealous of your own older brother if he possessed bending and you didn’t, even if it was a weak element like water. Lucky for you, you had firebending, the most superior element. Although you supposed it would be nice to be an earthbender right now. You had been thinking for hours about a way to escape with your firebending, but so far it had been in vain.

The next person on the night watch was Sokka. Unlike Katara, he attempted to make small talk with you.

“So, how long have you known Azula?” the watertribe peasant questioned. You thought about the question, and after deciding there wasn’t a way your answer could be used against you later, you answered,

“About two months. She knew Ty Lee and Mai from The Royal Fire Nation Academy for Girls. I went there too, but we didn’t know each other. When her father asked her to hunt down her brother, she saw my name on the top of a list of elite soldiers. She asked me to join her team, and I accepted.”

“You were in the military?” Sokka asked. His eyes widened, probably wondering why someone as young as you was in the military. After all, you were only 16.

“Yup. My family was pretty poor, until some soldiers came to our house one day and saw my brother and I were firebending prodigies. We got moved to a fancy housing unit near the Fire Nation Royal Academies. After I graduated three years ago, I was enrolled into the military,” you answered. You didn’t know why you were telling him all this, but Sokka was surprisingly easy to talk to.

“Wow. I can’t imagine joining the military that young. In the Southern Water Tribe the minimum age for joining is 17,” Sokka replied. “I actually tried to join when I was 13, but my father made me stay.”

“That was a mistake on your tribe's part. You’re a strong, able, young man. You could’ve been trained in a few months and then your tribe would’ve had another set of hands,” you stated cooly.

The boy only hummed in response. He knew it was pointless to try and get you to understand why sending a child into battle was wrong. He knew how the Fire Nation carefully bred its children to be cold-hearted, logical, and violent. Yet he couldn’t help but feel that there was something different about you. On the surface, you seemed like every other Fire Nation noble he’d come across: arrogant, cocky, and ruthless. But underneath, he saw more. Remorse? Guilt? Like you knew in your gut that what you were doing was wrong, but the Fire Nation had trained you to trust them and only them? He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but he had seen something similar in Zuko. It was more apparent in you, though.

The rest of Sokka's shift went without a word. The third shift belonged to the Avatar himself. This was the first time you really got a good look at the boy. He was shorter than you expected, but besides his height everything about him radiated maturity. You thought about what he had gone through to get that maturity- learning about the genocide of his people a century after it happened, the Northern Water Tribe fiasco, and being hunted down by two of the worlds most powerful firebenders. All in a few months, on top of the normal stresses of being the Avatar. You felt a pang of sympathy for the boy. Even if your loyalties belonged to the Fire Nation, you had never thought the genocide of the Air Nomads was anything less than barbaric, even if you would never dare say that out loud. But the Fire Nation had evolved for the better. Things were different now.

Right?

“You must hate me,” you chuckled darkly. Your voice was humorless.

Aang looked confused as he asked “Why would I hate you?”

“I’ve been hired by someone to kidnap you, and wholeheartedly agree with what they're doing. Don’t worry. I’d hate me too,” you replied.

“I don’t hate anybody. I could only hate someone that truly had no good in them, but there’s good in everyone. Even you,” the monk said. He smiled up at you.

You were surprised at his words. You shouldn’t have been. He was a pacifist monk, after all. Not many people had ever tried to see good in you. Why would they? You were a soldier that served your nation loyally. Nothing more, nothing less. There didn’t need to be good in you. In fact, it was better if there wasn’t any good or bad in you. As long as you stayed loyal and obeyed the Fire Nation, everyone seemed perfectly content with leaving you be.

The rest of Aang's shift went by without another word between the two of you until the very end. Aang started to stand, eager to get back to sleep, when you started to speak,

“Hey! I just wanted to, um, apologize.”

Aang's eyes widened in surprise. Was it possible? Has his ~inspirational~ words touched your heart this quickly? Reversed the years of brainwashing and abuse the Fire Nation had exposed you to? Maybe you would even willingly join their team! Maybe-

He was cut off by your explanation, “What happened to your people, I mean. Not, uh, trying to kidnap you.”

“Oh,” the young Avatar replied. “It’s alright. It’s not like it was your fault.”

Okay, not exactly what he was looking for. But hey, at least there was some good in you. Not wanting a race of people to be brutally murdered or wishing an entire culture to be wiped out was… a start.

Finally, the fourth shift started. Toph. You didn’t have much respect for any of these kids, but Toph was definitely the one who had garnered most of your respect. Despite her lack of sight, Toph was the most powerful earthbender you had ever seen. In a way, her blindness enhanced her abilities by heightening her other senses. She didn’t take shit from anyone, which was something you were insecure about. Being in the Fire Nation militia, you had to take shit from your superiors, unless you wanted to be discharged. Or worse.

It seemed that Toph was not a morning person, so about 25 minutes after her shift started, Toph dozed off.

For a second, you couldn’t believe your eyes. What luck after such a pitiful few hours! But there was still the problem of your restraints. You hadn’t really taken in the campsite, as you had thought you wouldn’t have the chance to escape. While you were looking around, a sharp rock caught your eye. Perfect.

After scooting over to the rock, which took more time than you would like to admit, you raised your arms and brought them down hard upon the rock. The restraints broke instantly. After doing the same with your ankles, you surveyed the land. You figured you only had about an hour until somebody woke up, so you had to get moving quickly. You had a pretty good sense of direction, and that sense was telling you to go west of the campsite. You began spriniting in that direction. You knew you wouldn’t be able to sprint like this for long, but you had to get a head start. Once “Team Avatar” realized you had left, they might go looking for you on their giant flying bison.

****************************

You had been traveling for two days now. You weren’t anxious about a Team Avatar member hunting you down anymore. That was a worry of the past. Now you were more concerned with getting something to eat. You had found some hope when you came across a town, only to be disappointed after finding it was abandoned. Even though you were hungry and thirsty, you were also absolutely exhausted, and this town could provide shelter. You walked into the first building you saw, ready to pass out as soon as you hit the floor. In fact, you were so completely out of it that you didn’t notice the building was already occupied. You simply entered, found a nice corner, and hit the deck.

While you may not have noticed the other occupants of the decrepit building, they noticed you. Well, one of them. A certain banished prince, to be exact.

He watched as you slept, not even sparing him a glance before you fell asleep. It was a bit shocking, to say the least. Any normal traveler would walk in, realize the building was occupied, apologize, and find another place to rest. This behaviour was suspicious. Too suspicious to not give you a quick once over.

Zuko walked over to you as quietly as possible, even though he didn’t need to worry about his volume. You were an impressively heavy sleeper, especially when you were exhausted like this. He crouched over you, taking in your features. His face softened for a moment as he saw the pure exhaustion gracing your eyes, hardening again soon after. What did he care if you were well rested or not? You were just some random traveler. He looked around in your corner and saw that there was no weapon. You didn’t even have a small travel bag.

Assured you were no threat, Zuko walked back over to his sleeping uncle and decided to turn in after a long day of training.

****************************

You woke up feeling more refreshed than you had in days. That was the best sleep you’d had in, what, seven weeks? You began stretching your limbs, feeling ready to continue your search for Azula. Then the hunger pains hit.

You doubled over, letting out a small moan of pain. That small moan, however, was all it took to awake the Dragon of the West.

As he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, he looked around to make sure his nephew was okay. The prince was sleeping peacefully beside him. As you let out another hiss of pain, Iroh whipped his head around to see you, a young girl, clutching your obnoxiously loud stomach. He had conquered enough small Earth Kingdom villages to know what starving looked like, and that’s exactly what he was seeing.

“Excuse me, miss,” he all but whispered. You whipped your head around, suddenly on high alert.

“I apologize, I did not mean to startle you. But I noticed that you seem quite hungry,” your stomach growled in response as Iroh spoke. “My nephew and I have a little extra food to spare, as well as some exquisite tea. Would you like to join us for breakfast?”

Under normal circumstances, you would have been way more skeptic of an old man you’d just met offering you food. But you hadn’t had anything to eat or drink since the night before you got kidnapped, and this weirdo was your only option.

“I suppose,” you sighed.

“Wonderful! I will get started on breakfast. Would you like ginseng, green, or jasmine tea?”

“Jasmine,” you responded.

“Good choice. Jasmine is my nephews favorite,” the old man replied, a fond look painting his face.

As Iroh started breakfast, you couldn’t help but feel as if he looked familiar. Perhaps he had been on the news? Or possibly one of your textbooks? You shook off the feeling immediately; no. It wasn’t possible some filthy traveler had made it into a textbook. You laughed internally at the thought.

About 45 minutes had passed since Iroh began preparing breakfast, and he had finally finished cooking the meal. You walked over to the corner of the room the old man and his nephew had been staying in as Iroh beckoned you over. When you got close enough to the younger man to get a good look at him, you got that same familiarity ebbing at your insides. It wasn’t an unsettling familiarity, just… strange. But you supposed everything about this situation was strange.

Just as you began to sit, you were interrupted.

“I’m sorry, young lady. But could you wake up my nephew? As you can see by the bandages, I got hurt quite badly recently and cannot move around very well,” the old man said sheepishly.

“Sure,” you replied. This old man seemed nice enough, and he was making you, a complete stranger to him, breakfast. So you didn’t mind waking up his nephew. It was an easy task.

Or so you thought.

As you walked over to the sleeping boy and crouched over him, your breath hitched in your throat. Oh wow. This boy was quite the looker. His scar made him look all the more badass. You shook off these thoughts as quickly as he came. No. You didn’t have the time to pursue relationships with boys you didn’t even know.

You put your hand to the sleeping boy's arm gently, shaking him just enough to wake up. Waking him up wasn’t the hard part. The hard part came after he woke up.

You know, the part where he proceeded to attack you.

You let out a squeak of surprise as he leapt onto you, pinning you to the floor in the process. All your normal reflexes and strength had gone with your full stomach. On top of that, you didn’t want to hurt this guy, spirits forbid his uncle reclaim your breakfast invite. His arms were by the sides of your head to keep from crushing you. He leaned down to your face.

“Who are you, and what are you doing?” the boy growled into your ear, his voice extra raspy considering he had just woken up. He sent you a glare that rivaled the one Katara had sent you the other day.

“Lee! This is not how we treat our guests. I invited this young lady to sit with us for breakfast and asked her to wake you up,” Iroh scolded.

“Uncle, you can’t just go around inviting random people to sit with us at meals!” Zuko protested. “It isn’t safe.”

“Hush, nephew. She’s joining us and that’s final,” Iroh retorted.

Zuko sent you a final glare before getting off of you.

The meal was pretty silent at first, not that you minded. You were pretty focused on stuffing your face. After a few minutes of comfortable silence passed, Iroh started some small talk.

“So, young lady. I don’t believe you told me your name. What is it, if you don’t mind me asking?” Iroh inquired.

“Y/N,” you responded. “I don’t think I caught your name either.”

“Mushi,” the man responded. “And this is my nephew, Lee.” he gestured to the boy sitting next to him. Said boy sent you another glare. You sent him your snarkiest stare back.

“So,” you began, “Mushi. Where are you from?”

“I come from a small village in the Earth Kingdom, you’ve most likely never heard of it. My nephew and I left a few years ago in search of a better life,” Iroh answered as his gaze traveled to the small travel kettle. “Oh! The tea is ready.”

Mushi took the kettle off of the fire. Huh. Fire. That wasn’t there when the old man had first invited you to breakfast, and you hadn’t heard him trying to make a fire. Unless he was a firebender, which was impossible considering he was from the Earth Kingdom, how did he start a fire so easily?

You brushed it off. He probably just had a lot of experience or something, right? Yeah, yeah. Sure. Instead, you turned your attention back to ‘Mushi’ (you suspected that wasn’t his real name), who was pouring some jasmine tea for his nephew. The smallest fond smile graced the boy's face as his uncle poured his tea. His smile was a nice change of pace from his usual scowl. You wished you could see him smile more.

Wait, no. What were these thoughts? You couldn’t go around ogling at boys like a school-girl! It was simply out of the question. You had one purpose in life: Serve. The. Fire Nation. Maybe someday your parents would arrange a marriage for you or something of the like, but you had no intention of falling in love.Wishing someone happiness and a crush were two very different things. Besides, you could never fall in love with someone just because of their looks. You weren’t that shallow.

Once you had finished breakfast, you walked back over to the corner you claimed to pack up. After noting that there was nothing to pack up, anxiety started to settle in. Realizing you didn’t even have a weapon to defend yourself with, you started to feel full on panic. You had been so preoccupied with escaping Team Avatar and staying alive that your lack of, well, anything had slipped your conscious.

This was not good. You were in the middle of nowhere with nothing but the clothes on your back.

Mushi must have taken in your state of dismay, because he walked over to you and placed a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“You seem a little lost, Y/N. Is there any way I could help you?” he asked.

“I’m not sure. But I think I’m going to have to stay in this town another night until I can figure something out,” you sighed. Every moment you became more and more anxious about how Azula would react if- no, when you returned. Would she be angry about it? Or did she view you as a disposable tool? You hoped for the latter. If that was how she saw you, maybe she would be pleasantly surprised when you returned. While “disposable tool” might not have been the exact way you described yourself, it certainly was close to that. Serving your country was a noble thing, and if you died doing it, it would be an honorable death.

“I think you are making a wise choice. It would be foolish to go out traveling with no resources. However, because you are staying, I do have to tell you something. I have not been completely honest,” the man muttered, looking at you sheepishly.

“What are you talking about?” you asked, incredulousness gracing your features. How could he have lied? He’d barely spoken to you, for spirits sake!

“My name’s not Mushi, and my nephew is not Lee. We’re not from the Earth Kingdom. Our names are Iroh and Zuko, and we hail from the Fire Nation,” Iroh explained.

“Oh,” you said, relieved it hadn’t been something worse. “That’s fine. I’m from the Fire Nation too. But why didn’t you just tell me in the first place?”

“I was not sure if you were from the Earth Kingdom or the Fire Nation. Most people are not comfortable revealing that information to strangers. People from the Earth Kingdom do not always react kindly to Fire Nation citizens,” the old man replied.

“Damn right,” you scoffed. “Personally, I think they need a little lesson in respect.”

Iroh hummed in response, not showing any other sign of agreement or disagreement. He didn’t want to scare you off or fight you, but he also didn’t want to show any agreement with what you’d just said.

“Are you a firebender? I’ve been teaching my nephew, so if you’d like to train with us, you’re more than welcome,” Iroh inquired.

You thought about the offer. You hadn’t trained in a week. You had decided not to bend at all while you were traveling to conserve energy, so your bending was probably a little rusty.

“Sure, I suppose it couldn’t hurt,” you responded.

“Great! My nephew and I are currently working on a special technique that we started yesterday. We’re redirecting lightning. I actually made it myself,” Iroh replied eagerly.

“Wait, you can redirect lightning? Does that mean you’re a lightning bender?” you asked, dumbfounded. Lightning bending was one of, if not the most, powerful forms of bending. Because it was so powerful, the only people who got to learn it were members of the Fire Nation royal family.

“Yes, I can conjure lightning. But I don’t do it often,” Iroh chuckled.

Then it all began clicking into place for you- of course! Prince Zuko and former heir to the throne General Iroh! It hadn’t clicked sooner because of Prince Zuko’s banishment. You hadn’t heard his name in a few years, and he had just kind of left your consciousness.

“So you’re General Iroh? The Dragon of the West? The only man to ever conquer Ba Sing Se?” you squealed. General Iroh was a hero of yours. He was a strong asset to the Fire Nation and an even stronger bender. His loss of Ba Sing Se had been disappointing, and you personally thought he should have stayed. Still, losing a son must be hard. The loss of Lu Ten, whom you had thought was going to be the Fire Lord one day, was devastating for the entire Fire Nation. On top of all that, he was stripped of his heir status. The details on that had always been shady, as Fire Lord Azulon never mentioned anything about his wishes for Ozai to become the Fire Lord while he was still alive. Not to mention Fire Princess Ursa disappearing right before Ozai’s coronation. Still, reading into it too much was a waste of time. Fire Lord Ozai was a strong leader, and that was what the Fire Nation needed.

“Uh, yes. I did conquer Ba Sing Se for some time,” Iroh replied, trying his hardest to hide the discomfort that had now taken over his face. “But let's not focus on that. We should get to training.” he urged.

You walked outside with Iroh towards a cliff, where Zuko was waiting. As he spotted you, his eyebrows shot up in surprise. Surprise quickly turned to annoyance as he said,

“Uncle! Was inviting her to breakfast not enough? Why is she out here?”

Iroh looked impatient while saying, “Zuko! Where are your manners today? Y/N here is a bit stranded, so for the time being, she will train with us.”

Realizing his uncle had called him by his real name, Zuko sent Iroh a glare, but he didn’t say anything about it. Zuko didn’t want to give himself away completely.

“I just remembered- you need to be in a calm state of mind for today's exercise. I need to go make some ginseng tea!” Iroh said, hurrying back to the decaying building to start the drink.

You groaned internally. You had grown quite fond of the old man already, but you couldn’t say the same for his nephew.

An uncomfortable silence took over as he just stood there awkwardly.

“So, how long does it take for your uncle to make tea?” you asked, hoping to quell the silence and get an estimate of when you could begin training.

“Half an hour for ginseng. He likes to get it just right,” Zuko answered. He was clearly annoyed by your presence, as he has hoped to work on the lightning technique his uncle created. But alas, he couldn’t give away that he was from the Fire Nation. I mean, really? Why had his uncle agreed to letting you train them? A free meal was courteous enough, no? Now a whole day of training would be wasted on teaching some random girl the basics of hand to hand combat.

“Is he coming back while the tea steeps to get us started?” you sighed.

“No, he usually stays by the tea. He doesn’t want anything to happen to it,” Zuko explained.

“Well, in that case, do you want to get started without him? Just to warm up?” you asked.

“Sure, why not?” Zuko mumbled sarcastically. Was a moment alone with his uncle too much to ask for?

As Zuko got into a standard position for hand to hand combat, you crossed your arms and shot him a confused look.

“Spirits, don’t tell me you don’t even know basic fighting stances,” Zuko groaned.

“Of course I know basic fighting stances!” you countered. “But why are you in a hand to hand combat stance? I thought this was a firebending session.”

Zuko froze. “You know I’m a firebender?” “Uh, yeah! I also know who you are, princey, in case you haven’t picked up on that either. Now are we starting or not?” you cried.

Zuko stayed frozen. “How do you know who I am?” he demanded.

“Your uncle told me, idiot. You were also the heir to the throne of the country I live in for a hot minute. It took me a while, but you’re not unrecognizable,” you replied.

“Oh.”

“Yep.”

After another few minutes of awkward silence, you spoke again.

“So hottie, are we sparring or not?” you asked, now impatient.

Zuko started to nod before he realized the nickname you had just given him.

“What did you just call me?” He tried his best to sound intimidating, but it was challenging considering his voice had gone up an octave.

You smirked. “Hottie. Y’know, short for hothead?”

“Oh,” Zuko sighed. He didn’t know if he was relieved or disappointed.

“You’re also, like, totally hot,” you said nonchalantly. You knew you shouldn’t have been flirting. That’s what you had been telling yourself all day. But he was just too easy! His cheeks flared up immediately after you called him hot. And you never got to flirt! You were always too busy training, or on a mission. Besides, it’s not like this will go anywhere. You’ll have your fun for an hour or two, and by the end of the day you will have figured something out and leave.

While you were trying to justify your flirting, Zuko was busy having an existential crisis. He was, for lack of a better word, bamboozled. Just… what? How could anyone, much less a pretty girl like you, find him attractive when he had a giant fucking scar covering a third of his face? He had barely even spoken to you, and his words had been cold at best. Why did you still find him attractive? Though he supposed he was thinking the same about you. Sure, he found you annoying and maybe even a little arrogant, but he recognized your attractiveness.

“O-okay. We can get started now,” Zuko stammered, his blush quickly spreading.

“Alright,” you giggled. “But be warned, I’m a little rusty.”

You and Zuko got into position swiftly. After stretching, Zuko got into an intermediate bending stance.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

As the first plumes of fire left your hands, you felt feelings you only ever felt while firebending. Grace. Comfort. Complete and total warmth. Firebending had always been a form of escapism for you, and it had killed you to temporarily stop. But now, as you focused on the flames erupting from your hands, you felt a sense of peace.

Zuko was surprised by your skill. He outmatched you, but not by nearly as much as he thought he would. It was clear you were naturally gifted at firebending; your elegant movements said that much. Zuko had the best private teachers money could buy at his disposal growing up, so he being better than you was a given. He assumed you went to one of the many Fire Nation public schools growing up, but after seeing your bending, he realized you must have gone to a pretty good private school.

After the quick warmup, Iroh came out with the tea.

“Sorry I took so long. Ginseng is always fussy,” the retired general sighed.

“Nephew, since I already told you all this yesterday, how about you take your tea and meditate for a few minutes while I catch Y/N up to speed?” Iroh asked.

“That works,” Zuko said. Oddly, after the brief spar with you, Zuko found all his annoyance at you disappearing.

****************************

It had been a grueling day of training. You were a fast learner, but it appeared that you were not going to master this technique any time soon Zuko tried to help you, but so far it had been to no avail. Iroh left to rest about half an hour ago, after raising his eyebrows suggestively at Zuko, who rolled his eyes at the gesture.

“You’re not getting you chi low enough,” Zuko groaned. This was the fourth time he was explaining this to you. “You need to let it travel through your stomach.”

“What the hell does that even mean?” you cried, growing frustrated.

“Just- I’ll help you,” Zuko mumbled, trudging over to where you were standing. He positioned himself behind you, putting his hands on your arms.

“It’s like this,” he explained. He guided your right arm a bit higher, and put your left arm at a much lower angle. His arms dropped from your arms to your waist.

“You have to guide the chi lower,” he repeated.

You did the motion again, making sure your arms were in the position Zuko had put them in. The places he had touched were still tingling from his warm, rough hands.

“Good job,” Zuko muttered. His hands were still placed firmly on your waist.

“Well, you’re a pretty good teacher,” you giggled. Y/N, you thought. You were trying to have as much fun with this boy as you possibly could.

“Is that so?” Zuko murmured, suddenly feeling confident. He didn’t get to have much fun either. And his uncle was always teasing him about not being good with girls. Maybe with you, he could kill two birds with one stone. Have some fun and get some practice around girls. He’d need it someday, to court his future Fire Lady. “Maybe I could teach you other things. Like firebending.”

“I know how to firebend, Zuko,” you said, rolling your eyes.

“You don’t know anything too advanced, though,” Zuko retorted.

“True, true. I guess I could take you up on that offer. But with all the things you’re teaching me, I’m going to have to teach you a few things in return.” “Like what?”

You smirked, tilting your head back until it was under Zuko's chin. “Oh, you’ll see. But for now, teach me some firebending.”

Zuko's heart inexplicably started racing at your mysteriousness. Was he simply nervous that he didn’t know what you were going to be teaching him? Or was it the way your voice went a little lower? The new close proximity of your faces? The knowing smirk on your face?

Still nervous, Zuko took his hands from your waist. “Okay, in that case, I’ll teach you something I invented. I call it fire daggers.”

****************************

“You’re doing pretty well. You just need to push a little more chi to your wrists,” Zuko explained. He had been teaching you how to create fire daggers for about 45 minutes, and you had almost mastered it.

“Okay,” you replied. You took a deep breath, and tried your hardest to focus all your chi to your hands. You felt the warmth become more concentrated around your palms, and finally, you let out two, very concentrated fire daggers.

“Finally!” you exclaimed. “Wow, you invented this?”

“Yeah, but it took a while to perfect,” Zuko admitted. “So, what are you planning to teach me?”

“Oh, can we do it after we eat? I’m starving,” you said, careful not to tell him what you had in mind.

“I’m actually not very hungry. But you go eat with my uncle. I’ll train until you can come back.” “Sounds good.” You headed to the shabby building, leaving Zuko to train. As you were walking, you began thinking of what you would teach Zuko. You hadn’t planned that far ahead. Spirits, what about this boy made you so impulsive? Oh well, you’d think of something.

“Hello, Miss Y/N!” Iroh greeted.

“Hey, Iroh,” you responded. “What’s cooking? It smells good.”

“Some jook,” Iroh replied. “Where is my nephew?” “He’s still outside. He’s not hungry so he’s training some more.”

“Classic Zuko,” Iroh sighed.

He served you a bowl of jook, which you happily began to eat. As you were eating, your mind wandered to other places. Team Avatar, to be exact. You thought about how they treated you. Sure, they put cuffs on you, but that was expected. They weren’t complete fools. You thought more about the way they had tried to make you comfortable. They offered you water, like, every fifteen minutes. And food, which you had refused. That wasn’t a good idea in hindsight. Sokka had even tried to make you more comfortable by making small talk, and Aang had been polite when you initiated conversation. If it had been the Fire Nation who captured them, there would be no such hospitality. Why had the enemy been so kind to you? Maybe- no. How could you think such a traitorous thought? Still, now that it was on your mind, you had to let it out.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” you asked, fidgeting with your spoon.

“Of course. What is on your mind?” Iroh questioned.

“Do you think this war is… right?” you sighed, not meeting Iroh’s eyes.

“What do you mean?” “Just… I was captured a few days ago, by the Avatar and his group. And some of the things they did and said got me thinking. Is it possible that the Fire Nation is in the wrong? We refuse to see good in anything but ourselves. I was taught from a young age to never show mercy; that mercy is weakness. But the Avatar and his friends were nothing but hospitable to me. I mean, what is the reason for this war? Conquest? Why are we trying to conquer the world? My school books say the Air Nomads were planning to invade us, but the more I think about that, the more absurd it sounds. They were pacifists, for spirits sake!” You hadn’t planned on saying all that, but once you started talking, you couldn’t stop. You felt confused, and now angry. Had the Fire Nation really been lying to you this whole time? Was everything you knew a lie? You felt like you were suffocating, shocked by the things that had come out of your own mouth. If you weren’t a faithful servant to the Fire Nation, who were you?

Iroh stared at his bowl of jook for a few seconds, contemplating what you had just said. Then, he spoke.

“Morals are something you must develop for yourself. Take a look at the facts and your own life experiences, and form a code of ethics to follow. I know how difficult it can be to question what you were taught, but we must always be bettering ourselves. Don’t take the easy way out, and always remember to trust your gut.”

You understood what Iroh meant. It’s easy to just follow someone blindly, especially if they’re manipulating you. Developing your own moral code, while harder, would be more fulfilling and worthwhile in the end.

“Thanks, Iroh. I have a lot to think about,” you breathed at a barely audible voice.

“Of course, take your time.”

You slinked off to your corner, figuring you had about twenty minutes until you had to go to Zuko. You hadn’t eaten much jook. You thought about your brother, who had always been the perfect Fire Nation citizen. He never questioned the Fire Nations wishes, not for one minute. You had always looked up to him, and longed for his praise so badly, so you didn’t question the Fire Nation either. And look where that got the both of you. You were here, stranded in an abandoned Earth Kingdom village, and he was, well, dead. Killed in battle at the ripe age of 17, just as you were about to graduate from the Fire Nation Royal Academy for Girls.

It was in that moment that you finally understood what Katara had meant. Why would the remaining two nations comply with the Fire Nation when the Fire Nation was trying to overthrow them? Complying wouldn’t result in peace. It would result in chaos.

Well, fuck. Now what were you going to do? You couldn’t go back to Azula, and your gut was telling you not to stay with Iroh and Zuko. You had to get going by tomorrow morning.

“Iroh, I have a favor to ask,” you said.

“Anything, my dear,” he answered.

You rubbed the back of your neck sheepishly. “Do you have, like, an extra canteen of water I could take? Or a little bit of extra food? I really need to get going tomorrow morning, and-”

Iroh cut you off. “Of course, Y/N. I’ll get a few things packed up for you, but in the meantime, I think my nephew is waiting for you.” “Thanks, Iroh,” you said, smiling. Iroh nodded in your direction as you jogged out the door.

Feeling much more optimistic and more sure of yourself than you had ever been, you sauntered over to Zuko, who was doing a few cooldown stretches.

“Oh, hi Y/N. I was just finishing up. Are you ready to repay me yet?” he chuckled.

“Not quite yet. Follow me,” you said in a teasing tone. Zuko got up and followed you despite the confused look on his face. Oh, how naive, you thought.

You led Zuko to a crumbling wall you had spotted earlier during training. When you stopped, Zuko began speaking.

“What are we doing over here? What are you even teaching me?”

You could tell he was getting impatient with you. Oh well, just give the boy what he wants.

“Never knew you were the eager type,” you giggled.

Zuko’s witty comeback died in his throat as you yanked him by the arm towards you and effectively pinned him against the wall.

“Wh- what are you-”

“Quiet, hottie,” you murmured. “Class is in session. Would you consider yourself a hands on learner?” “I guess so,” he whispered. The almighty Fire Prince was melting into a puddle right before your eyes, at your hand nonetheless. He really was too cute for his own good at this moment. His eyes wide instead of the default glare they were set in, his entire face red.

“Good,” you responded. You took his hands, which were hanging limply at his sides, and stationed them on your waist. You then placed your hands firmly onto his shoulders. Zuko shuddered under your touch.

“Ready for the demonstration?” you asked, serious tone not at all fitting for what you were about to do to this boy.

“U-um, well, I… ah-” Zuko sputtered. Was it only this morning he was glaring at you for joining his meal?

You rolled your eyes. “Lesson one: Talk. Less.” you stated.

You leaned in until your lips were just barely brushing Zuko’s. You could hear his breath hitch in his throat. But you weren’t done having fun with him yet.

At the last minute, you turned away from his lips, instead opting to place a feather light kiss on Zuko’s cheek teasingly.

You pulled away from Zuko slightly with a sly smile, just enough so you could see his face. His expression was shocked, confused, and longing.

Perfect.

“You don’t have to be so stiff, you know,” you giggled. “Move a little. It-”

Zuko cut you off with his lips, grasping at your waist like his life depended on it. You gasped into his mouth before hurriedly kissing back. Sure, you’d kissed a guy or two in your life, but none of them felt like Zuko. He tasted like jasmine and woodsmoke. His lips moved against yours with passion and vigor as he let out little sighs into your mouth. Your hands left Zuko’s shoulders, going to his chest instead as you grabbed fistfuls of his shirt.

You pulled away from the kiss, smiling as he chased after your lips.

“Why… did you do that?” he whispered.

“I had to teach you something, didn’t I? Did you learn anything?” you asked.

“Talk less,” Zuko said, his eyes hazy.

You chuckled. “Yeah. Remember that one.”

You walked off, leaving Zuko to contemplate what just happened.

****************************

You left that same night. Iroh had gone to the nearby forest to forage for some plants, and Zuko was still standing at the wall, dumbfounded. That left the building you had stayed in empty. There was a small bag sitting in the corner you had slept in, packed by Iroh. You found a compass in Iroh’s bag, found which way west was, and started off in the direction, taking the compass with you. It didn’t matter; Zuko had one in his bag. You checked.

You weren’t quite sure where you were going. Going back to Azula was obviously not an option, but the Fire Nation wasn’t a good choice either. There would be too many things to explain to your family, and you could be sent to jail for abandoning Azula. Or worse. It would be better for the time being if you were presumed dead, not that anyone besides your parents and perhaps a few of your friends would care.

That left a few options. You could become a nomad of sorts, jumping around from town to town, never staying long. You weren’t built for that sort of life, though. The few weeks traveling with Azula had been enough to last you a lifetime. Omashu, now New Ozai, had become occupied by the Fire Nation. The Northern Water Tribe was secluded and virtually untouched by the war, as the recent invasion attempt had failed. Unfortunately for you, it was nearly impossible to get to, even by high-tech warship. That left settling down at one of the abandoned Air Temples or Ba Sing Se. The latter seemed less lonely and more attainable, so off to Ba Sing Se it was.

****************************

“Fine, but you’re closing tomorrow!”

“Okay okay. Thanks, Xia!”

You washed the flour caked on your hands from hours of work, left the keys in the small tray by the back door, and began your walk back to the small apartment you lived in, apron in hand.

You had been living in Ba Sing Se for two months now. After forging some papers and departing the ferry that took you to the city, you landed a job at a small, but lively bakery that locals of the outer ring loved. Your weekly salary was enough to pay for rent, food, and a few recreational activities too. Overall, you lived a comfortable life, and you would have been happy to spend the rest of your days in the life you’d built for yourself, even if you had to pretend there was no war.

You had been hearing about a tea shop from some of your neighbors. It wasn’t new, but there was a new employee that really knew his way around the drink. You hadn’t had a cup of tea since the ginseng shared with Zuko and Iroh, and you certainly had the money for it. Deciding to treat yourself, you walked into the store and ordered a cup of jasmine tea. After paying, you sat down at a table by the window and waited for your tea to be served. Drumming your fingers on the table, you thought about how much your life had changed in just a few short months. You had gone from a loyal servant to the Fire Nation, ready to sacrifice anything and everything for a facist tyrant, to a normal young adult working in a bakery. You couldn’t help but feel grateful you had fallen into this timeline. What if Sokka’s aim had just been a bit off and you hadn’t been knocked out? You’d probably still be out there with Azula, hunting down the world's last hope for balance. Crazy how one little action can have such a huge impact.

As you thought about Azula, your mind wandered to her older brother. You smiled at the thought of Zuko. Your time together had been brief, but you looked back on it fondly. Sure, he could be very aggressive and intimidating, but he could also be quite shy and bashful, if you got him in the right situation.

Looking back on the kiss the two of you had shared, you blushed. You felt giddy and slightly embarrassed at the same time. You had been so impulsive in that moment, but you couldn’t help it. He was just so cute, stuttering under your soft gaze!

“Order up,” a raspy voice stated behind you.

Ah, your tea. You turned around to accept the steaming cup, tip in hand, but something stopped you from reaching out to take the drink from the rusted tray.

That something was the wide-eyed stare of a certain Fire Nation royal family member.

“Oh,” you choked. “Hi again.”

a/n okay i know i said literally yesterday that this would be out in december but you never know when motivation will hit ig. this isn’t the full thing but i think that’s understandable since this bitch is loooong. the second part will probably be shorter. the other zuko h/cs will still be out before thanksgiving! requests are still open as well, but i want to finish this so it may take a little for me to get to them. thank you to @ladyamaya (sorry it’s not letting me tag you :() for requesting this. sorry it took so long. also, sorry if this sucks :)

#Zuko #ba sing se #zuko x you #zuko x reader #zuko x y/n #sokka #katara #aang #toph #iroh #zuko angst #zuko fluff #bad makeout scene sorry

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peony-pearl · 2 years ago

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Thank you guys!! ^^ (I’m about to ramble more so bear with me I’m sorry XDD)

@tamerlan-pahlavi That’s a good point XD I do wish there had been less talk about ‘destiny’ and more talk about ‘hey we specifically need to do (these things) to try and help the Avatar’ we are at the Midnight Hour and things are about to get nasty. (it would have been so cool for Zuko to see shades of the old General Iroh)

@prodogg Yeah, Iroh immediately being cold to Azula, in rewatches, can be odd. I can definitely understand that Iroh has not seen Azula for 3 years and thus really doesn’t have much reason to be cold towards her. I suppose the most reason he would have is that he remembers during the Agni Kai that she seemingly (from his pov) behaved positively towards Ozai’s actions in burning Zuko. Unfortunately, since we only saw that moment for a second, we can only infer that this is the reason. Otherwise, it’s all in the shorthand to introduce Azula as our next antagonist.

I’m wondering if it can be stitched together with the fact that Iroh got his first clue that something big was about to happen when he heard the lightning generation and was worried it was Ozai, only to see Azula. Again, they haven’t seen each other in 3 years, so if he’s putting it together that Azula caused that lightning blast (at 14 no less) he’s immediately on high alert. Zuko is 16 and has 0 capabilities to generate lightning. Azula is here at 14 on her own (save for Li and Lo); so he’s probably trying to make sense of things and is scared out of his mind as he’s stitching his thoughts together that ‘Did Azula make that lightning? Where’s Ozai? Why is she here? We haven’t heard from her in 3 years, we haven’t captured the Avatar, something isn’t right’.

Again, I think it would have been really interesting if Iroh maintained his ‘Uncle’ presence with Azula while guarding Zuko; but I think it says a lot about how powerful he can tell she is with just how formal he is with her. There’s so much potential to write a reversal of his situation with Zuko, in that perhaps he’d been close with Azula before Ba Sing Se, but after his desertion following Lu Ten’s death and neither being in contact for the past 3 years, they’ve grown distant and she’s taken so much after Ozai there’s now a wedge in the relationship they once had, and Iroh’s protectiveness over Zuko puts the final nail in the coffin when he prevents their capture at her hands.

and yes you pretty much hit the nail on the head with the infamous ‘she’s crazy’ line. I’ve read metas that are much better than I’m able to write, and I’ve also chalked that up to being a line akin to Katara’s ‘then you didn’t love her like I did’; a it’s a very raw, very human line after being hurt.

Hi there, happy new year! I was wondering if i could get your insight on something. I’ve always had mixed feelings about Iroh sending Zuko to fight Azula & insisting it would be wrong for him to fight Ozai & also pushing the throne on Zuko. BUT it really rubs me the wrong way when I see anti Iroh takes that make him out to be so awful for this. I feel like everything Iroh does throughout the series comes from a place of love for Zuko even if he is flawed & can be messy & lazy & imperfect as a father figure - that’s what makes him interesting. But so much of what Iroh says in Sozin’s Comet Part 2 (to me at least, as I re watch the show) almost feels like…, not Iroh the Character speaking but almost just the writers using Iroh as a narrator if that makes any sense?

What I’m getting at is - do you have a take on Iroh’s motivations & what was going through his head during Sozin’s Comet part 2? I want to know what you think his perspective was because I feel like you always have good takes about what was going on in Iroh’s head & I have trouble reading him during a lot of this episode.

If you don’t have time, no worries. Thanks for often sharing your insights on this show as well as your beautiful fan art & writing. Hope you’re having a good start to 2023!

Ahhh thank you for this ask!! And I totally get where you're coming from.

I feel like Iroh insisting Zuko take the throne is a continuation of their discussion from The Avatar and the Fire Lord. While there are so many things left unsaid/not dealt with when it comes to Iroh, he probably doesn't at all feel like he's worth the crown. That and he's already stepped aside for so long, he could be realizing his complacency, his inaction, they've all piled up and now look at the mess they're in. He is not ruler material. Maybe he once was, but that's long past - and yet that's silly bc Iroh seems to already have the vibe that it's never too late to correct your wrongs.

Keep reading

#long post #atla meta #me @ Bryke: I don't want Iroh to be perfect I want Iroh to be human #I want him to make sure people understand he HURT people and he's actively choosing to not be the machine his father created him to be #let him understand that there was favoritism in the family while he and Zuko try to break the chain and HELP Azula #But I also want Iroh to be Iroh #I want him to be someone others rely on because he gives advice - not necessarily because he's correct #but because it comes from places of hurt and pain and he doesn't want others to walk that path alone #I want him to be silly and flaky and not care about his body image and love tea and sing too loud #I ADORE Iroh because he IS a character #flaws and all because the flaws - especially the shadow of General Iroh - create the man of peace he wanted to be #but man let General Iroh show through sometimes #let that stare permeate into people's souls #but also let him have moments of clarity remembering what he's done to people and he retreats and no one hears from him for a while #idk I have a LOT of feelings about this man ;;

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sirenalpha · 3 years ago

Text

I posted 323 times in 2021

53 posts created (16%)

270 posts reblogged (84%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 5.1 posts.

I added 44 tags in 2021

#atla - 16 posts

#zuko - 6 posts

#aang - 5 posts

#azula - 3 posts

#bnha - 3 posts

#writing - 3 posts

#yeah i hate this - 2 posts

#ao3 - 2 posts

#star wars - 2 posts

#and by that i mean when i have to deal with it when writing - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#and with star wars i feel like with kylo ren they were like i like him so he must get redemption and i must justify and excuse anything bad

My Top Posts in 2021

guys come on the Fire Nation is a monarchy

Zuko was born first

he doesn’t have to take the title of crown prince and heir to the throne from anyone

everyone has to be taking it from him aka banishing him, naming him traitor, trying to kill him etc

that’s the whole point of him being born first and Iroh calling him his son

it’s all for the Rightful King Returns trope after Ozai stole the throne from Iroh

8 notes • Posted 2021-01-24 05:31:16 GMT

This is my simplified version of a more historically accurate Assassin uniform for Ezio to go along with my fic Stories Lived just so I and any readers who want it can have a reference for what it looks like

it’s just more historically accurate rather than perfectly historically accurate, like I kept the colors close to the original, and mimicked the cut of the skirts of the original, and kept the wideness of the original belt, but I did make them belts that went entirely around the waist rather than just securing the giant metal Assassin symbol, and I left the hood, but just made it more like Altaïr’s in that it is a separate item rather than connected to anything like it looks in Ezio’s original uniform

but I gave him a doublet which he doesn’t seem to be wearing at all in the original which you can only see the red sleeves of, but it has a high neck and no collar which was the fashion in 1470s Florence, I also gave the overgown which I think is the layer Ezio is wearing in the original over his shirt is supposed to be, but overgowns weren’t open or tied at the front at the time, they were open on the sides and belted closed which is what I did here though it’s not obvious from the front, I put in pleating that was popular with overgowns at the time, and I changed the sleeves to ones that were in some of the paintings of young Italian men in the 1470s rather than just capped sleeves, I also changed him from brown pants and boots with greaves to the hose that would have been worn during the period and thigh high riding boots

14 notes • Posted 2021-06-06 19:55:55 GMT

Azula right from season 2 episode 1 is established as a perfectionist, someone conceited and disconnected enough to ignore natural limits such as the tides, and a lying manipulator

Atla is extremely effective at establishing characters, these three things are all fundamental to her as a character and her negative character arc that culminates in her break down

Azula loses some of her power when she can no longer use lies and manipulations on Zuko after he gains confidence and perspective from being with the gaang

it’s thematically significant to their final Agni Kai that she can’t say anything to throw Zuko off his game and he is in fact goading her rather than the other way around

you can’t cherry pick the times she happens to tell the truth because the truth is more hurtful to ignore this fundamental aspect of her characterization

14 notes • Posted 2021-01-01 20:59:30 GMT

Ok here’s the thing, if you think Anakin by himself is solely responsible for the fall of the Jedi due to a fatal character flaw of selfishness so he is always doomed to fall to the dark side and bring the Jedi down with him even if he never gets properly trained as a Jedi

you have a complete misread of the character and why he fell and took the Jedi with him both as a matter of characterization and on meta level regarding the entire narrative of PT and OT

first of all, if Anakin never became a Jedi he’d never come into contact Palpatine you know the man who ordered him to sack the temple, Anakin did not come up with this plan independently

and the reason Anakin went along with it was because a) Mace Windu proved that the Jedi no longer followed their own code so what differentiates them from the Sith and b) the Jedi definitely don’t allow you to come back from one wrong move, Anakin cuts off Mace Windu’s arm for threatening his chance to save his wife and child which allows Palpatine to kill him, yes it’s bad but it’s not sacking the temple bad and Anakin already knows he can’t go back from it

because that’s the point of the whole prequel trilogy

Anakin isn’t the problem

it’s the Jedi

that’s why they’re all destroyed, Anakin is just the systemic issues reduced to an individual for narrative convenience because the Jedi could not help this one person he became exactly the person the Sith could use to destroy them, it’s absolutely poetic

the Jedi left themselves and Anakin in particular vulnerable to Palpatine because they were a stagnant, corrupt, and misguided organization not because Anakin was greedy

this is also why Luke is a hero because he doesn’t do what Obi-Wan and Yoda tell him to do, he has enough life experience outside of being a Jedi to choose to do something different which is what allows him to surpass them as a new and better type of Jedi and save Anakin/return him to the light side

19 notes • Posted 2021-01-10 21:33:12 GMT

does Zuko have to say Azula always manipulates for people to get what and why he is saying when he says she always lies?

saying manipulates would technically be more accurate but he clearly came up with it as a child, she did it frequently enough when they were young he didn’t have sophisticated enough vocabulary to use the most accurate term to describe what she’s doing

it’s obviously about her manipulation not whether or not she’s telling the truth or a lie at any one particular moment because either way there is always, always an ulterior motive that is typically not in Zuko’s interest that he can tell is there but just doesn’t always know exactly what it is

56 notes • Posted 2021-01-01 21:08:31 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #what a weird collection #3 atla with assassin's creed and star wars thrown in #I don't really post a lot do I

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the-badger-mole · 4 years ago

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Sins of the Mother 2

“You can still change your mind, you know.” Katara watched her husband fidget with his shirt, fussing with the shoulders again. He was clearly nervous and Katara couldn’t blame him.

“she’s already on her way,” Zuko said. He found Katara’s eyes in the mirror. He saw her shrug carelessly.

“You’re the FIre Lord,” she reminded him. “You can always say something came up.” Zuko knew exactly what she thought, and even though he hoped she would be less apparent with her feelings when Ursa arrived, he also knew that it was all out of love for him, and he couldn’t find it in himself to be upset about her attitude. Zuko shut his eyes and took a deep breath.

It had been two months since that first reunion with his mother. She had sent a letter a week after that until Zuko finally consented to a brief visit. Ursa would arrive early that afternoon and be on her way back to her husband and young child by the following evening.

Katara had been less than thrilled when she heard of the plans. She made no secret of the fact that she thought it was selfish of Ursa to pressure Zuko into a relationship he wasn’t prepared to rebuild. But Zuko had assured her that he was ready to see Ursa, at least, and Katara promised to be there, too. zuko knew she would keep her promise. She never turned her back on people who needed her, and Zuko desperately needed her now. She crossed the room and wrapped her arms around him from behind, pressing her face into the spot between his shoulders.

“Are you sure?” she asked him. Zuko wasn’t sure, but he also knew he would never be completely sure.

“I have to do this sooner or later,” he said.

“Notice how later is an option there?” Zuko couldn’t see Katara’s face, but her voice was dry and sarcastic. He couldn’t help his grim smile.

“Time won’t make this part easier.” Zuko turned so he could face Katara and pressed his forehead to hers. “I want to do this.”

“Okay.” Katara took a breath and squared her shoulders as if preparing for battle. “But you say the word, and we can end this immediately.”

“Yeah?” Zuko smirked. “Just like that?” Katara raised her fingers, and snapped.

“Just like that,” she promised. “We need a code word. Something you can work into a sentence and won’t be too obvious.”

“How about mango?” Zuko suggested. Katara shook her head vehemently.

“I like mangoes,” she said. “How about papaya.”

“Alright,” Zuko chuckled. “If talking to my mother is too much, I’ll try to casually slip the word papaya into the conversation.”

Katara grinned up at him. Oh! How she loved this man! And she told him so, as she did whenever the thought crossed her mind.

“I love you, too,” Zuko murmured. They had just leaned into a kiss when their was a knock on their door. Katara rolled her eyes.

“Who is it?” she called.

“Iroh.” Katara and Zuko released each other, and Zuko let his uncle in.

“What is it?” Zuko asked after they greeted each other.

“Ursa has arrived,” Iroh announced bluntly. Irh was better at hiding his thoughts than Katara was, but Zuko had a feeling that he wasn’t any happier with Ursa than the young Fire Lady.

“She’s early,” Katara said with a displeased frown. Iroh nodded.

“The coachman said Ursa was anxious to make exceptionally good time,” he explained. “She insisted that there was a front of bad weather they should keep ahead of.” Katara folded her arms and scowled.

“I’ll just bet there was,” she muttered. Then she turned to Zuko. “You don’t have to see her right now. Just because she’s ahead of schedule doesn’t mean you have to be.” Zuko smiled, grateful at Katara’s ferocity on his behalf.

“No, it’s fine,” he said. “I’m as ready as I’m going to be.” Katara nodded and slipped her hand into his.

“Remember, you just say the word...”

“I’ll remember.” Zuko squared his shoulders and faced his uncle. “I’m ready.”

.*.*.*.*.*.

After the initial shock of seeing Ursa for only the second time since discovering she was still alive, Zuko was pleased to find that talking with his long lost mother was less uncomfortable than he feared. They stayed away from the more sensitive topics- Zuko’s childhood; Ursa’s husband and child; Ozai; Azula. They discussed the weather front Ursa had been wary of for the first hour. Katara had stayed mostly quiet throughout, only interrupting to offer tea or snacks. She was the consummate hostess. Her etiquette tutor would have been proud. Every so often, she would take Zuko’s hand beneath the table and give it a squeeze. Her etiquette tutor would have been less proud of that.

An hour and a half, a servant came in and whispered discreetly into Zuko’s ear. He flushed a bit and whispered something to Katara. She nodded, and Zuko stood up. He had been called away.

“I’ll be back in a bit,” Zuko promised, bowing slightly apologetically. Katara and Ursa smiled and assured him that it was fine. The two women watched him leave, and then turned back to their tea, allowing a heavy silence to fall over the room. Katara took a sip from her cup, content with the lack of conversation. Ursa, on the other hand, looked around the room uncomfortably. Katara wondered if she was remembering her life there, or if she was so far removed from it, she was no longer used to the silks and finery of the palace. Finally, her soft eyes landed on Katara, and she smiled nervously.

“So, why don’t you tell me about yourself?” she started. Katara’s mouth pursed tightly and she set her tea aside.

“Well, I suppose the most important thing for you to know about me is that I love Zuko.”

“Well...that is very comforting,” Ursa said shifting in her seat.

“Maybe that’s not exactly true,” Katara folded her arms and crossed her legs. “I think the most important thing for you to know about me is that I protect the people I love.” Ursa looked startled for a moment, but after a moment, understanding dawned on her face.

“I take it you don’t like me?” Ursa met Katara’s eyes directly.

“It’s more that I don’t understand you,” Katara said. “I can’t imagine what would make a mother voluntarily forget her children.” Had Katara physically struck Ursa, she might not have startled that gasp from her mother-in-law. It took Ursa a moment to find her voice again, but when she did, her eyes shined with shed tears.

“You are not a mother yet, my Lady,” she said.

“I’m not,’ Katara confirmed. “Zuko and I are probably another year or two from that particular milestone, despite his advisors’ best efforts. Still, I don’t know of any mothers who would make the choice you made.”

“Lady Katara, you have to understand-”

“I’m not here to judge you,” Katara cut in. “Zuko wanted to see you again. And I get that. So, I’m here to support him.” Ursa held her gaze for a moment before looking down at her teacup.

“Would part of supporting him mean convincing him to cut out people you deem unworthy?” Katara’s jaw clenched at that accusation, but years of diplomacy lessons had made her less prone to rash reactions than she had been at 14.

“Zuko knows how I feel about this,” she said, making her feelings clear to Ursa, as well. “But he also knows that I’ll stand behind whatever decision he makes. If he wants a relationship with you, I won’t stand in his way.” Ursa’s eyes narrowed calculatingly, and Katara was reminded sharply of Azula.

“But...”

“But?” Katara regarded Ursa archly. The older woman, however, kept a steady gaze. It seemed that despite everything, she had not forgotten her court training.

“I can tell there’s a but, my Lady.” Ursa lowered her eyes respectfully. Still, there was an air of expectation around her. She wanted an answer from Katara, and Katara was willing to give one.

“Alright,” she said.”But, I know better than you do what you being alive means for Zuko. He’s not only happy that you’re alive. He’s also hurt and confused. I think more hurt and confused than when Ozai burned and banished him.” Ursa flinched at that. “And I refuse to allow you to do that to him again. Zuko has had far too much of hurt and abandonment in his life. When we married, I promised to do everything in my power to make sure he never felt that again. You owe him, Ursa. You owe him more than you can ever repay. I’ll stand aside and let you at least try for as long as he is comfortable with you being here. But if he changes his mind, or if you hurt him again, I’ll make sure that you never set foot in our home again.” Ursa’s face was carefully blank and she straightened her spine and folded her hands in her lap, a regal, yet unthreatening pose that Katara’s etiquette teacher had tried and failed to drill into her.

“My son has been willing to look past my mistakes,” Ursa pointed out meekly. “As I have never hurt you directly, I don’t quite understand why you shouldn’t be as willing to give me a chance to prove I still love him.”

“My husband,” Katara said pointedly, “is a lot quicker to forgive than I am. He’ll be the first to tell you how I can hold a grudge.” Ursa perked up at that bit of information.

“So, Zuko has been on the wrong side of you before?” she asked. “Like mother like son, I suppose.”

“Humph!” Katara only just managed not to turn her nose up at Ursa.

“Please tell me what he did to get you to forgive him?” There was a hint of pleading in Ursa’s tone, and in spite of herself, Katara found she was willing to answer her. She held Ursa’s gaze levelly and and leaned forward slightly.

“He helped me find the man who murdered my mother.”

Ursa gawped at Katara. That she had not been prepared for that revelation was clear. Before she had a chance to respond to it, the door flew open and Zuko returned in a fluster.

“I’m sorry,” he said breathlessly, falling into the chair next to Katara. “I had forgotten to cancel a meeting. Did you two get a chance to get acquainted with each other?”

“I think we understand each other pretty well,” Katara said breezily. “Wouldn’t you agree, Ursa?” The older woman had already regained her composure, and she nodded demurely.

“Yes...I think we do,” she said.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

#atla #atla fanfic #zutara #ursa

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talks-refined · 4 years ago

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Why azula, in my opinion, shouldn’t have had a redemption arc

i know it’s a complicated subject in this fandom but i wanted to give my two cents on it! i promise this isn’t me just going “booh evil”

okay so here’s the thing. the reason this is so complicated to answer is because it needs to ask pretty existential and complex questions like, can everyone be redeemed? how is evil made? how much of you is really only your upbringing? is it possible to be inherently bad? what do we fundamentally deserve? can you separate yourself completely from what you’ve been since birth and if so, what’s left?

now if you walked up to me and asked those questions, my answer would probably be something along the lines of “i don’t know, i just got here”. so that’s not what i’m gonna try to answer here

notice how i said “shouldn’t have had” and not “deserved”. i can’t tell you what azula “deserved”— probably a nicer childhood and therapy— but i can also say azula didn’t “deserve” anything. she’s a character, she’s words on paper, animation and voiced acting. there isn’t a real azula, an actual 14 years old child soldier out there awaiting to turn good. characters are story arcs, development, goals... what makes their value isn’t morals but what they bring to the story. and azula brings so much that, in my opinion, being ultimately redeemed would cheapen

first off: zuko. i’ve seen people say azula shouldn’t get a redemption arc because then her story would just be the same as zuko. it’s... not true, obviously, they’re different characters for a reason, but there is a part of truth i wanna point out here:

zuko and azula’s stories are diametrical opposites. two siblings, a boy and a girl, a firebending prodigy and one who’s average at the very best, one favored by his mother, the other favored by her father, one impulsive and one calculating. At the beginning of the story, one angry and unstable, the other calm and confident, one banished, desperate and without honor, and the other a princess and leader, acclaimed by all, who radiates regal energy.

“(ozai) said she was born lucky. he said i was lucky to be born. i don’t need luck, though. i don’t want it. i’ve always had to struggle and fight and that’s made me strong. that’s made me who i am.”

( zuko, to aang, season 1 finale )

that first sentence was the hook that told the viewers azula would come in the picture in season 2 and it tells you exactly the opposite dynamics their characters would develop on. azula is perfect, zuko is a failure is the message we’re supposed to get, at least that’s how they view each other and themselves, because that’s what their father taught them. but here’s the thing: luck is by definition elusive, and perfection is by definition unattainable. azula spends her life building herself around the vision that failure is inexcusable. because she’s at such a high place, because she’s so perfect, she can never fail, because she can’t and because she’s not allowed to. that mentality is bound to doom her, it’s inevitable. it’s a direct opposition to zuko, who builds himself in the fact that he’s failed so many times, that he made so many mistakes, that each taught him lessons. when zuko fails once, he knows he can get up because he was miserable for so long that it taught him he can survive anything. when azula fails once, she crumbles. azula is a cautionary tale of perfectionism, and cautionary tales can’t have happy endings. zuko’s approach of life has to reach a happy ending, because he’ll always look for one, it has to reach a redemption arc because he’s not scared of the mistakes he’s made in the past and he is always trying to better himself (the redemption comes when he realises he was trying to meet the wrong standards). azula’s approach of life guarantees a downfall because she’s convinced that failure is the end.

both their stories mirror each other, backwards. when we meet zuko, he’s failing, always, and when we leave him, he finally won. when we meet azula she’s winning, always, and when we leave her, she finally (by which i mean that it’s inevitable, not that it’s good) fails.

and there’s another reason (let’s pretend this is structured, okay?), that’s a little more complicated, and it has to do with ozai.

you know how ozai is barely present in the series? i’ve seen some people argue that azula is a better villain because she’s scarier or because we see her more. here’s the thing:

when you’re trying to portray something that’s really, really awful, it’s easier not show it. when you show something, in it’s entirety (in that context that would mean making ozai a deep, 3 dimensional character that we see develop) it’s... small. to define is to limit (- oscar wilde). when you only show small things tho, details, in movies it can be shadows, think the beginning of stranger things when you don’t see monsters, but can feel a threat, that’s when it can get scary as shit. because whatever limited, physical (or character-ial? is that a word) form you chose for the villain isn’t there in people’s minds, it’s only their own imagination trying to comprehend what you made them feel. and what people imagine based on only fear, or anger, is easily scarier than any five headed monster you can put onscreen.

that’s what ozai is: a looming threat. hell, i’m not even sure we see his face until season 3. he only has a handful of scenes. but i hate him. i hate him so much i could scream into a pillow and he’s so vicious it sends shivers down my spine. you know why? because of what he did to zuko and azula.

when you wanna keep your main villain mysterious, it’s good to give the audience characters that he’s interacted with. characters that he’s close to enough to have had an effect on them, so they can perceive a part of him. and boy did he have an effect on his children

( to be fair here: that idea and most of what i’m saying about it came from Overly Sarcastic Productions video on minions as a trope. it’s really good i love their whole channel, red is amazing)

season 1: meet zuko. he’s a sixteen years old. he’s a bad guy, but written so that you sympathise with him to a certain extent. then comes the Tragic Backstory Episode and you learn that he was challenged to a duel as a thirteen years old by his father after he spoke without permission in a meeting, begged for mercy, got half of his face burned off at the hands of his father, and was banished from his home to search for the avatar, who was dead as far as anyone knew.

now you’ve seen very little of ozai after this episode, but you’re ready to fight that guy, right? i know i am.

it gains a level of depth with azula. after being introduced to a character who is starving for his father’s love and approval, we’re introduced to a new character, who seemingly has all of that. azula is zuko’s ever winning rival. she has everything he wants, her honor, her title, her father’s favors.

(i think it’s worth noting that making your children compete for your love is already a red flag for noticing pieces of shit)

but it’s not enough. azula has everything, she is everything ozai values (cunning, strong, ruthless) and even then it’s not enough to please him. nothing will ever be good enough. and you see two children fighting, breaking themselves to please a father that is seemingly incapable of love, but keeps baiting them, giving them impossible standards to reach so they’ll always keep trying to please him.

okay, now you hate him, right?

but here’s the thing: because azula was a firebending prodigy, she got a taste of her father’s approval. he saw himself in her, where he saw too much of iroh and ursa in zuko. he was proud of her.

he was never proud of zuko. too soft, not strong, or fearless enough. because of that, zuko was never close to his dad. all he got was disdain. because of that, he forms bonds with other people (with his mother and uncle, at first) that expose him to another vision of life. and in exile, after chasing relentlessly, part of him is pushed to the realisation that he can live without his father’s approval. because he had to.

azula on the other hand, quickly becomes all ozai’s. from flashbacks you can clearly tell each of them gravitates around one parent, zuko around ursa and azula around ozai. even in her other relationships (zuko, tylee, mai...) she behaves according to what her father taught her, how to manipulate and hurt others

and ursa has flaws, god i’m not saying she doesn’t. that deserves a post in itself. but she values things like kindness, softness and love. ozai values strength, power and cunning. childhood is a formative stage: you often build yourself on the way you were raised. zuko had those conflicting values, because ursa, and ozai more indirectly, both taught him. but ozai isolated azula from other (adult) presences. this is more speculation but i really think it’s true, for what it’s worth. we rarely ever see ursa and azula interact, and when we do ursa is i think always? reprimanding azula for something that ozai taught her. it doesn’t seem like they spend enough time together for her to teach her daughter a better way.

that’s the thing. ozai’s “love”, or at least approval, was azula’s curse. zuko thinks it’s something he has to aim for, and later realizes it’s only ever going to be conditional and manipulative and stops trying. because he knew another way. but azula always lived with it. it isolated her, prevented her from ever finding a better way. his “love” is what did this to her

so yeah. none of this is saying that azula could never have been good. she was 14, she had a whole life ahead, i’m not some psychology master that can tell you exactly if it’s even possible to unlearn so much manipulation and abuse- i want to believe it is. but this is a story, and to me it’s the more nuanced, more interesting, better story they could’ve written. i think having those two very different and very paralleled stories, for a show that doesn’t shy away from complexity the way atla does, was very important.

while i was writing this, i showed it to a friend, who can speak for toxic households better than i can, and gave me a new perspective and the best conclusion: when in an abusive parental relationship, there’s always a tearing hesitation between ‘breaking free’ and doing what’s best for you, and staying loyal to your parent, someone you’re supposed to love and who’s supposed to love you. zuko is a message of hope ; azula is a warning

#azula #princess azula #atla #Avatar The Last Airbender #azula redemption arc #please be nice

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sokkabaddiebender2021 · 4 years ago

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Why I don’t think Azula should have a redemption arc

Ok so I know for a lot of people, this is probably going to be something you disagree with, and since it’s a TV show, that’s 100% valid. This is just how I personally feel.

So as an avid fan of avatar the last air bender, I see more then enough content and commentary related to the show. I absolutely love seeing what everyone has to say and I’m all for over analyzing the show because honestly it’s super fun.

The only side of the avatar fandom I really cannot seem to side with are the Azula stans. Don’t get me wrong, Azula was an absolutely incredible villain, and is most certainly one of a kind. Especially for animation, even outside of that, she is a marvel we may never get again.

I actually do like Azula as a villain. She was very entertaining and got more shit done then any other bad guy in the show.

HOWEVER, that does not mean that I like Azula as a person. This is where the water gets murky when it comes to those who defend Azula. This is where I start getting concerned about those who actually defend Azula’s psychopathic behavior.

There is no doubt in my mind that Azula needs serious help. She has a host of mental illnesses (most likely related to bi polar disorder or schizophrenia). Considering Ozai was an absolute shit head, he most definitely put pressure on her that no child should ever have. He pitted her against her own brother and it is quite obvious he actively taught her that being kind was being a weak. I am not saying she should be kicked to the curb to fend for herself. But I am also saying she shouldn’t get a redemption arc as Zuko did.

What makes Azula special is that she is a villain. She is a terrible person who is cruel and uncaring for others unless they can make her feel powerful. For a lot of people who defend Azula, they do not want to admit her cruelty. But actively throughout the series, even as a child, we see Azula’s cruelty.

Example 1

Azula is what, like eleven here and is very clearly happy that her thirteen year old brother is having half is face burnt off. The others in the background have more apathetic expressions, because there’s nothing enjoyable about the situation. The only other person who is joyful at a fucking child getting abused is Zhao, which just goes to show what a degenerate this guy is. If anything this draws a parallel between the two villains, and trust me, being compared to that dude isn’t great.

I am not an expert on mental health and illness related to it, but from what I have learned, I do believe Azula is a psychopath. Yes, she is heavily influenced by her father and culture to believe in wanting power and showing limited mercy and kindness, but the fact that here she actually takes pleasure in someone screaming in pain, is extremely disturbing and telling.

Example 2

As an even younger child, Azula still shows psychopathic traits. After her cousin dies, her grandfather dies, and her mother leaves, all Azula does is smile. It is a chilling moment, and it allows the audience to understand this girl’s emotions and connections to others is not the same as a regular person. Yes, Ozai taught her to not care for others and how to manipulate other people, but you can’t teach someone to enjoy the suffering of others. That is exactly what she does throughout the series (mostly with Zuko).

Now since many people say how Azula should get a redemption arc like Zuko, I’ll have to briefly touch on him as well.

Now there are many hints and more obvious examples in the first season, when Zuko is supposed to be the main villain, that he is not a cruel or evil person. He clearly cares for his uncle, as shown by when he chooses to save him for earthbenders in the Winter Solstice Part 1 rather then pursue the avatar. In the 3rd episode of the show with Zhao and Zuko’s Agni kai, we very clearly see that Zuko is not inherently bad.

Ex:

I distinctly remember this shot because Zuko has this very intense look of utter hatred in his eyes, because Zhao had almost done the same exact move that his father has done to him when he got his scar (something that traumatized him). But what does he do, he doesn’t burn Zhao. He doesn’t burn the man that has done nothing but belittle him and had no problem doing the same to him. Because Zuko doesn’t take pleasure in causing pain to other people. Azula does.

I could go on and on about how the series shows from the start that Zuko is not the real villain of the series, but I’ll save that for another time. Azula is set up from the very start, even before she is formerly introduced, as a viciously cruel person.

Having a redemption arc for Azula would almost be unfair compared to the perfectly crafted series long arc they have Zuko. She wasn’t established by the start like Zuko was to be a character that could earn redemption. It wouldn’t make sense in the context of her character.

Yes Azula is a fourteen year old. But using that as an excuse for her behaviors and actions isn’t right. By that age people should understand what is right and wrong, especially as something as basic as treating people with human decency. I know for myself I was raised in a close knit, homeschooled family who taught me that our family was somehow superior to a lot of people. When I started public school at 14, I began to learn that no, I wasn’t somehow superior to someone because of my last name, I was just a normal kid like everyone else.

Azula doesn’t seem to care to learn differently. She uses the people around her, and eventually, loses them all.

Perhaps, perhaps if she had a less shitty father you could say she would come out better. But you can use that excuse for any person out there who has been abused and continues that cycle. They never should have been abused, but that fact doesn’t matter if they perpetuate the same abuse they once received.

Because they are no longer the victim, but the abuser.

#atla azula #atla zuko #avatar the last airbender #redemption arc #avatar zuko #loserlord ozai #commander zhao #azula #azula avatar #these are actually rlly fun #i wanna do another part to this because i have several other points to make #azula & ozai #fuck ozai #all the homies hate ozai #anti azula #i’m prob biased cuz zuko is my favorite character

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wiseabsol · 4 years ago

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WA Reviews “Dominion” by Aurelia le, Chapter 14: Two Birds

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6383825/14/Dominion

Summary: For the Fire Nation royal siblings, love has always warred with hate. But neither the outward accomplishment of peace nor Azula’s defeat have brought the respite Zuko expected. Will his sister’s plans answer this, or only destroy them both?

Content Warnings: This story contains discussions and depictions of child abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, and incest. This story also explores the idea that Zuko’s redemption arc (and his unlearning of abuse) is not as complete as the show suggested, and that Azula is not a sociopath (with the story having a lot of sympathy for her). If that doesn’t sound like your cup of tea, I would strongly recommend steering clear of this story and my reviews of it.

Note: Because these were originally posted as chapter reviews/commentaries, I will often be talking to the author in them (though sometimes I will also snarkily address the characters). While I’ve also tried not to spoil later events in the story in these reviews, I would strongly recommend reading through chapter 28 before reading these, just to be safe.

Now on to chapter 14!

CHAPTER 14: TWO BIRDS

Hello everyone! We are now on chapter fourteen, “Two Birds.”

So first, the A/N. It mentions a fic called “In the Madhouse,” which I should look up at some point, since Aurelia liked it and we have similar tastes in Azula fic. ultranos’ “Salt and Ashes” series is one that we’ve been enjoying lately. There is also a discussion in the A/N about the challenge of addressing and stopping Ozai’s abuse of Azula. One thing that isn’t mentioned there, but that I want to note, is that intervening in a parent-to-child abuse situation is difficult even without the challenge posed by the parent being a powerful political figure. Best case scenario, you get the kid away from their abuser before the abuser realizes what’s happening—because if you don’t manage that, that kid will probably be the one who the abuser takes their anger out on. After all, how could anyone else have known what was happening unless the child told them (which isn’t necessarily true, but it’s what the abuser will think)? This isn’t to suggest that it’s better to leave the child in that situation, but just to point out that you can’t afford to misstep or take half-measures when extracting the child from that environment.

I think I may have mentioned this before, but Iroh being able to live in Ba Sing Se and run his teashop, even under a pseudonym, feels like a backhand to the Earth Kingdom. Yes, he helped the Order of the White Lotus liberate the city, but does that make up for the 600 Day Siege that came only a few years before? Surely someone must recognize him and want revenge for the lives lost during it?

Granted, an assassination attempt would cause a diplomatic incident, but I somewhat doubt that the mourners would care? Maybe there were some attempts already, which Iroh thwarted? I could see him thinking of this as a type of penance, to face the loved ones of those his siege killed. I suppose I’m also wondering how much him being an intelligence asset for the OWL would make up for his past colonialism (now cultural imperialism?) in the eyes of the world? Him settling in Omashu or another Earth Kingdom settlement, sure, but BA SING SE? Why was that allowed? I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that some of the Earth Kingdom nobles knew and were hoping that someone would take a crack at him. They’d hand-wring and launch a half-assed investigation afterwards, and when Zuko would inevitably become impatient and send in his own forces to get to the bottom of things (who the EK would then ask to leave, but of course Zuko wouldn’t back down)—well, isn’t that another route to a war of revenge for the Earth Kingdom, which they could hide under the guise of self-defense?

In short, no matter how Iroh justified this decision to himself, it’s hard not to see this as him mooning the Earth Kingdom and asking them to bite him.

On to the chapter itself! June and Nyla have arrived with a passenger and have paralyzed poor Ty Lee. Zuko “almost forgot [Ty Lee] was there,” so yeah, putting this in the “they’re not really that good of friends” evidence bin. If my friend faceplanted in the ground after getting whipped, I’d definitely be hurrying over and checking on them. Mind you, this is the Avatar world, so your friend getting knocked to the ground might not be as much cause for concern.

June calls Ty Lee a twit for not knowing how shirsu venom works, but I’m like, “Chi blocking is way more impressive, you jerk, don’t call her that!” But I’m biased because I adore this Ty Lee to pieces.

June’s passenger is an Earthbender, given his bare feet, and seems to have fallen onto hard times, given his frayed and faded robe. This man, we soon learn, is a member of the Dai Li, and…I can’t remember what happened in canon, but I believe Azula recruited them for a while after her coop in Ba Sing Se? I wonder if the Earth Kingdom didn’t take that well (that and they were keeping the king in the dark about the war, if I remember correctly). So possibly this one is trying to earn some good favor back by catching Azula.

Since Nyla was tracking Azula’s scent, the Dai Li agent quickly puts two and two together that Azula’s scent being on Zuko means that they did the naughty. A part of me is like, “Well, it could also be suggested by Nyla targeting Ty Lee that a hug is enough to leave Azula’s scent behind, which is more recent, and…Zuko, did you not take 100 showers after boinking your sister? For real, my dude?” My point being that it seems like a big leap for the Dai Li agent to put together that the siblings had sex…except that this Dai Li agent also saw the beach house, according to Zuko. So yeah, that probably had some more, uh, pieces to add to that puzzle.

The Dai Li agent is thrilled because he can use this information to take down Zuko. It also turns out that the Dai Li are blackmailing June, rather than paying her. They must be really hard up if they have to resort to that. June was amoral in the show, so she would have leapt at the chance to pursue the bounty on Azula. Though if she had, then the Dai Li couldn’t take the credit for capturing Azula…(sigh).

Anyway, the Dai Li agent tries to pressure Zuko into calling off his search or he’ll tell everyone his secret (Ty Lee is very confused by this in the background). I can’t help but think, “This is a no-win situation, Zuko. He’s going to tell regardless, and if he does, you, Azula, and probably Mai and Lu Ten are doomed. This is a case where you need to take him out if you want to keep your family safe.” I don’t relish saying that—I’m not a fan of murder—but unless you have the help of certain spirits, there’s no wiping this man’s memory in this setting, and imprisoning and/or executing him would show that Zuko has something to hide. Best to leave him in a ditch somewhere.

Zuko doesn’t connect these dots yet. He has a bit of a rage-out instead. The Dai Li agent nearly kills Ty Lee in response, but Zuko manages to drag her out of the way of the fight. When the Dai Li agent disappears, June shouts at Zuko, because the Dai Li agent might think that they’re working together, which means that they might execute the hostage they’ve taken—her father. Zuko argues that they should work together to track down the Dai Li agent, who Zuko realizes knows way too much. June is initially reluctant, because the Dai Li agent is sending regular reports to his bosses, so if he vanishes, they’ll know that something is up…but Zuko argues that he can help her find her father (a lot of searching for family in this story) and then he’ll hire her to find Azula instead. June pivots and agrees to this new deal. I wonder if she knows that Zuko was a scarily competent tracker at one point.

Zuko carries Ty Lee to the steps of the Kyoshi Shrine, and Ty Lee pleads with him not to search for Azula, since she doesn’t want to see him. Zuko, predictably, doubts Ty Lee’s word and then says, “I can’t respect her wishes, Ty. Not with her life at stake.” On the one hand, he does have a point—Azula needs help—but on the other hand, she really doesn’t need help from ZUKO. Chances are that seeing him would be rather…uh…triggering for her, and a mental breakdown isn’t something that Azula can afford right now.

Zuko tells Ty Lee to go update Mai on what’s going on. That’ll be fun. Ty Lee seems to be considering telling Zuko that Azula is pregnant, but equivocates instead, and we learn that Azula might not know about the death sentence hanging over her. I feel like the Kyoshi Warriors let that slip, and that Azula is smart enough to know that the EK would take her out if they caught her anyway, regardless of the legality of them doing so. Then Zuko and June are off, leaving Ty Lee alone and paralyzed at the shrine. And you didn’t even give her a blanket, you jerks! Also, is there really not a shirsu venom antidote? Seems like something someone should invest in!

We shift over to Azula, who sailed from Kyoshi Island to the Earth Kingdom mainland during a storm. The good news is that the storm prevented her pursuers from catching her. The bad news is that the storm destroyed her ship, nearly drowned her, and snatched away her supplies, including Rai’s gold. So Azula is not feeling great after that—possibly she was triggered by nearly drowning, being reminded of Katara’s ice prison during the Agni Kai, and she hasn’t eaten in a while either. Her situation reminds me a bit of “Zuko Alone”—he also didn’t have much more than the clothes on his back—but she’s worse off, given the effects of her pregnancy. She’s much more fatigued than she wants to be, sometimes napping for hours in a bush. Azula thinks about the baby being a product of incest—“She would be lucky if it wasn’t born with gills or extra limbs or some crippling deformity.” Which…is something to be concerned about. There is a lot of shared DNA between the two parents, which makes the risk of a genetic deformity or disease more likely to arise. I doubt that it would be something as extreme as the kid having gills, BUT Azula and Zuko have both shown signs of mental illness, so I think there is a high chance that the kid would inherit that. A supportive environment and other resources can do a lot to address how hard mental illness hits someone, though (in Azula and Zuko’s cases, their environment aggravated theirs), so I’m not going to be too worried for this kid just yet.

Azula considers that she might lose the baby. “This early, and it might not even hurt, she told herself. It might die. Wasn’t that what happened to mistakes?”—Woof to all of that, but also, no wonder Azula is such a perfectionist. When the result of imperfection is dying….

Azula considers starving the fetus out, since she’s barely getting enough food as it is. This is a terrible idea for two reasons: 1.) Azula has nearly died once already from starving herself, and damaged her organs in the process, and 2.) She’s in enemy territory. She can’t afford to make herself weak, even if she thinks there might be long-term benefits from it.

At this point, she starts hallucinating Ursa, who unfortunately believes that a fetus and a baby are the same thing, which is very pro-life of her. Boo, hallucination!Ursa! Boo! I’m not sure this actually reflects what real Ursa thinks, though (I mean, I wouldn’t be surprised if Ursa was hypocritical about this point), given that a later chapter will reveal that Ursa knows what plants to use to induce an abortion, and used them as birth control at one point. Azula alludes to this: “You would have done the same to me, if Father let you. He told me the truth you were too craven to admit. You never wanted me.”—Ouch!

Okay, this is bad, but I couldn’t help but snort at the line, “You only think [that this is a precious baby] because it’s Zuko’s.” It’s so awful that it wraps around to being darkly funny.

“Something clenched painfully in her chest at the words [I love you, Azula. I do] she had heard too many times to count from this twisted mockery. Azula couldn’t remember anymore if her real mother ever said that to her.”—Yeah, if the child ever doubts that their parent loves them, then the parent has failed, full stop.

“It wouldn’t matter if she had. It would just be one more lie. Didn’t her abandonment prove that? Didn’t Ursa prove it every time she looked on her daughter with fear or disgust or indifference? Didn’t she prove it with the things she said, the letters she never sent to school, the sparring matches she couldn’t be bothered to attend? The goodbye she said to Zuko and not to her… She had every day of eight years to prove it was a lie, and she proved it.”—This passage is brutal. And Azula is 100% right about it. Even though Ozai undermined Azula’s faith in her mother, Ozai would have had a much, much harder time doing so if Ursa had put some effort in and demonstrated her love for her daughter. Ursa’s neglect made his job so much easier than it should have been, and Ursa is going to have to reckon with that one day.

Also, as someone who recently escaped some toxic friendships (and grew up with a toxic parent), there is probably nothing more psychologically damaging than people saying that they care about you, but then not demonstrating that with their actions. People who don’t like you being cruel to you is much easier to handle than the lying is. In short, I think this is part of why Ursa’s betrayal, and at one point, Mai’s and Ty Lee’s betrayal, shattered Azula. While Zuko’s betrayal has also affected Azula severely, you get the sense that Ursa’s and Mai’s choices carved deeper scars in her. Ty Lee, fortunately, broke from that pattern and proved how much she loved Azula with her actions.

Azula tells the hallucination, “I’ll give you your life back [ . . . ] A life for a life, isn’t that how it works? [ . . . ] I’ll get the closure I need to end this, and never have to see you again.” We, the readers, can already tells that it’s not going to be that simple. Yes, Azula needs to confront Ursa, but one confrontation isn’t going to give her closure. It will address the wounds that Ursa caused, but it won’t give Azula the love and support she would need to heal them. That love and support, incidentally, doesn’t have to come from Ursa herself—adoptive family could provide it—but there isn’t anyone except maybe Rai who would be willing to fill that role in this story. Also, given the way this story is structured, that healing will probably come in the form of mother and daughter reconciling instead.

“Sometimes [the hallucination] left at her command, other times it ignored her. Azula had long since stopped wondering why.”—Because your conscious and subconscious minds don’t agree on whether they want hallucination!Ursa gone, Azula.

“It was her own business if she wanted it gone. It had no more right to her body than Zuko did.”—Damn right, Azula!

Azula again entertains the notion of starving herself to induce a miscarriage (a note from the future: we later learn that there was a period where she was starved as a child, so I have to wonder if that stunted her growth and contributed to the eventual damage to her organs). She is understandably anxious about this. “Tears burned her eyes when she hugged herself around the middle in unconscious imitation of the night she lay bleeding in the hall.”—Ouch.

“Everyone knew that, exceptions like Taku aside”—I forget who Taku was?—“most Earth Kingdom doctors fell somewhere between butchers and medicine men. She would be a fool to trust her health to them, even without the added vulnerability of being a fugitive.”—I wonder if this is true or if this is some racist colonialist bullshit? Given that it’s mentioned that the Fire Nation has been sharing resources with the other countries, I feel like if there WAS a gap in medical knowledge, it’s been closing since the end of the war. But Azula’s concern about being a fugitive still stands, even if I’m skeptical of their doctors being that bad.

Then we get this gross recollection: “That first time, she was hardly sick until she began drinking the tea. She had only put on a little weight—most of it in the swell of her hips and budding breasts, it seemed then—” So something that most of the adults around her would have overlooked, since she was the right age for that. “—and sought out their court physician for a flu remedy when mild aches and a fatigue one fraction of what she felt now began to impair her training.” Of course she only cared about how it impacted her training, rather than just wanting to not feel sick!

“And in reply, he told her something incomprehensible. She hadn’t even had her first blood.” I AM SCREAMING! “She didn’t know what to look for then, but she knew now. She was almost four months gone when—” This is so deeply horrifying!

“No one would ever talk about it afterward—and anyway, who would she talk to?—but Azula suspected this might have been why she hemorrhaged so badly. But she didn’t know. She didn’t know enough to fix this, if it could even be fixed. She didn’t know what to do….”—Boy, it sure would have been helpful if she’d had a midwife to consult, wouldn’t it? I’m sure her actual doctor could have told her this info, too, but unfortunately, Ozai had him killed. Idiot. Seriously, Azula absolutely needs to know this information about her own reproductive health. Especially if she was going to be Ozai’s heir and was expected to have children of her own someday (which, god, I doubt she would have survived long enough for that, given Ozai’s choices, but STILL, SHE NEEDS TO KNOW THIS STUFF).

“She seemed to vaguely recall her doctors saying, after she starved herself, that she couldn’t have children. Since obviously she was capable of conceiving, she could only guess they meant that she shouldn’t have children. Well, they wouldn’t be the first to hold that opinion. Azula could practically hear Ursa thinking it, when she said things like ‘What is wrong with that child?’ in full hearing of her daughter.”—Listen, Azula, even if it was somehow true that you’d be a bad parent, a lot of people who shouldn’t be parents end up being parents, like your dad and grandad. As it is, if this is something that you’re worrying about, I think you’ll be okay, since you’ll be much more careful with your kid than they were with theirs.

Azula considers the medical reasons why a full-term pregnancy might be a bad idea, and notes that “her endurance had taken a hit, even three years into her recovery. And she healed slower and less effectively than she used to, as evidenced by the persistence of her injuries from the fight with Zuko.”—Yeah, starving yourself or being starved as a kid can result in some nasty effects, with not reaching your full height being one of the most outwardly obvious ones. It also can trigger a survival mode in your body where your body desperately holds onto fat later, even when you’re getting enough to eat, in preparation for the next lean time. This can have a generational effect as well, with your kids being more likely to hold onto fat, because their parents or grandparents went through that experience. If Azula wasn’t on the run and didn’t go through such strenuous training routines, she’d probably incline towards being pudgy. Which honestly wouldn’t be a bad thing for her, since a fat reserve can be beneficial if you’re someone with a uterus. Buuuut knowing Azula, she would view a little roll as a sign of laziness, which…

(sigh)…isn’t true, but you do you, Azula.

She considers that she might lose the baby anyway, given the past harm done to her body, and that, “she might die herself. Azula was mildly surprised to realize that after a month of living with the knowledge of her death sentence, and even longer spent knowing she was a fugitive from her own nation, the prospect held little dread for her.”—This is worrying. She should care about whether she dies or not, but I can’t imagine that she’s really recovered from…well, her flirtation with suicide. You don’t get the sense that Azula values her own life very much. Rather, she values what she can provide to others, namely to her father and her nation. She’s been taught that she herself has no value—only what she does is worthwhile.

“More frightening in some ways was the possibility that this might actually happen. Beyond the violation of her body being given over to another life, her life might be given over to another person. Azula didn’t know how to be a mother, any more than she knew how to be an aunt or a sibling.”—To be fair, I don’t think anyone really knows how to be a parent until it happens. Also, she never got the opportunity to be an aunt to Lu Ten, which is a shame, because her pretending to kidnap him and taking him somewhere fun sounds like good, wholesome mischief. Alas, this is not a soft world where that can happen.

“She had never had anything like a healthy example.”—Very true. Someday, Azula, you’ll have an aunt figure to look up to in an AU.

“And if she was honest with herself—something she strived for, even if she lied to everyone else—”—Kiddo, are you sipping Zuko’s Kool-Aid?

“she knew. It would only grow to hate her. How could it not? She was a monster.”—This is very sad and makes my heart break for her, but…Azula. Babe. You love Ozai. And I’m damned sure that you would be a better parent than he was, so I can’t imagine why your kid wouldn’t love you? Kids also just don’t work that way. It takes a hell of a lot to make a kid stop loving their parent. I’m…honestly not sure if anyone ever really does STOP loving them, even when they know that their parent is an abusive and morally bankrupt person? Love isn’t rational, and even if you hate them, like Zuko does with Ozai, that hatred is still an intense feeling for them. Plus, just because Azula doesn’t love HERSELF doesn’t mean that other people, like Ty Lee and her kid, couldn’t love her. All that Azula’s self-hatred does is make her more inclined to push that love away, because being loved can sometimes be scarier and hurt more than being alone does.

Azula then has a cry under the moonlight—hi Yue, by the way, I always forget that the moon in the Avatar universe actually has a spirit attached to it—and then decides that she needs to go to town to get some food. Good plan, girl. Get all of the noodles. Also, Azula has this mean thought about the Earth Kingdom: “that meant a return to civilization. Or what passed for it, in the Earth Kingdom.” I hope by the end of this adventure that she learns that the EK isn’t inferior to the Fire Nation. It’s great to love your home, but don’t tear down other people’s (unless they’re unhappy with it, in which case, ask them if they want some help with the tear down and rebuilding).

Then we move on to Toph, Sokka, and Suki. Toph likes her pillows “rock-hard.” Never change, Toph. Sokka and Suki are arguing about whether Suki should have stayed with the Kyoshi Warriors and enlisted them in the search for Azula. When Toph complains about this, she makes a “think of the children” joke, to which Sokka replies that she’s sixteen, which suggests that age of majority in the ATLA world includes sixteen (though that might depend on the culture). Toph is also super bored because they haven’t had much luck on their manhunt for Azula, so she hasn’t gotten to fight Azula yet. Suki mentions that she should consider herself lucky, because she might have a broken nose or back spasms from chi-blocking and I’m like…Suki. Buddy. Isn’t it telling that the only damage your girls went through is something they might have walked away from a bar fight with? Or a particularly enthusiastic night above the bar?

Gosh, is Toph calling Azula a “crazy ass” ableist or overly blunt? Because Azula is mentally ill, and it’s not like this is a world where mental illness is well-understood. Let’s call this insensitive of Toph at the very least.

“She didn’t start when [Sokka] laid a solid hand on her arm. It was hardly the first time he’d done that over the past few days, and Toph was torn between appreciating the gesture—and that it meant he remembered she was cut off from her earthsense up here—and resenting him for babying her.”—I wouldn’t call touching your friend’s arm in support babying, Toph. I do like that Sokka isn’t such a manly man that he would hesitate to give comforting platonic touches.

“[ . . . ] Toph half-tempted to tear her own hair out by the roots just to relish the sweet, sweet pain”—I feel like someone should give Toph a really obnoxious instrument to pass the time on trips like these. I don’t know if Toph would be inclined to learn it and play it well, buuuuut I also don’t think that she would mind just using it to annoy the hell out of the other passengers. Mind you, terrible music might make the manhunt more difficult, but it’s not like Appa is a sneaky stealth plane anyway.

It turns out that Zuko sent them a letter, telling them to search the southern part of the continent, since he would wrap up things on Kyoshi Island. That was tone deaf of him, because of course Suki would want to see how her girls are doing and resents being ordered around. Sokka insisted that they press on with the search, though, because it’s “bigger than any one of us,” and for all they know, Azula might be trying to draw them to one location. Which…I get why this is a concern, but since we’ve seen Azula’s POV, we know that her endeavor has barely anything to do with the Gaang. This is a nuclear family drama, full stop.

We do learn here that Sokka and Suki have only been married for a few months. I wonder if there was any tongue-waggling about that back at the South Pole? In any case, Toph and Sokka are both worried about how sketchy Zuko has been lately and what he might have lied about. Toph points out that, “He might have left something out or told a half-truth. He might have been embarrassed, or nervous or afraid. The physical reaction is basically the same.” I hope that this ambiguity comes up later.

“And [Toph] was of the decided opinion that when her head hurt, everyone else’s should too.”—Oh Toph. I love you, but you’re a jerk sometimes.

“She jabbed a finger in what she thought was his general direction, and scowled when Sokka had to reposition her hand to keep the effect.”—That’s so freaking cute? Like damn these two are adorable! They continue to discuss how weird it is that Zuko told them to not believe anything that Azula says, because why would he think they would?

“[You’re] like Twinkletoes on a moral tangent”—More cuteness from these two, since Sokka cannot let Zuko’s weirdness go.

“this speculation is pointless until we find her anyway, and hear what she has to say. If she even /has/ anything to say, ‘cause by all reports”—meaning Zuko’s—“she’s been muter than a hermit these past four years!”—I’m glad that they seem eager to hear what Azula has to say, but knowing Azula, there is no way that she will tell them what happened. Not only is she ashamed about it, but she doesn’t think that they would believe her anyway. And she’d be right…if Zuko hadn’t undermined himself by tipping them off to something being up.

They continue on their flight, and we shift back to Azula. Ooooh, I remember what this section is! I love this section! So Azula has arrived in an Earth Kingdom town, after a night of trying to get her clothes clean and scavenging for more food. I wonder if the cabin she found was a reference to something in canon? Anyway, Azula probably draws some attention to herself by scowling at everyone, and then she steals some clothes so she doesn’t look completely out of place. She sets a building on fire and crashes a public bath to accomplish this. I feel like “Smooth Criminal” should be playing in the background.

Azula goes to look for food next and stops by a restaurant next to a courtyard labeled, “Master Yu’s Earthbending Academy.” Aaand she realizes that there’s a noblewoman staring at her—specifically, Poppy Beifong, Toph’s mom! Woot! Hey Poppy! Good to see you! I love that the flowers in her hair are present here as they were in canon.

Azula does note that Poppy has “slanted” eyes, which I’m not sure what to do with. This might be an innocent description and might not have the same racist connotation in the ATLA world as it does in ours, since everyone in the ATLA world could be considered of to be of Asian descent, given the cultures the four nations are based on. Or we could be meant to clock this as racist on Azula’s part, which, given how she was raised, wouldn’t be surprising. Or it’s a blink-and-you-miss-it writing fumble. It’s hard for me to make a call here, but I wanted to make a note of it in case it is the latter.

Moving on, Poppy thinks that Azula reminds her of someone—maybe Zuko? Azula has a cover story ready: she’s from the colonies and has heard of the Beifong’s involvement in trade. Poppy, bless her, invites Azula to have lunch with her, because her friend didn’t show up. I wonder if she really was meeting a friend there, or if the Earthbending Academy is a real academy space and students practice earthbending there? If so, maybe Poppy watches them earthbend to feel closer to Toph. That’s my headcanon and I’m sticking to it!

“and I am quite alone,’ she explained, properly not counting the manservant and two maids who stood behind her as company.”—Properly? That classism! (Pats the nobles on their finely-combed heads.)

Poppy’s laugh sounds like glass breaking. Love that description. “Poppy Beifong would hardly be her first choice of dining companion. But then neither had King Bumi, who proved surprisingly amenable to letting her go, with only a little convincing.”—I still want that side story. Azula decides to take Poppy up on the meal, since she needs to eat when she can and she doesn’t think this is likely to be a trap.

Poppy immediately clocks that Azula is a noble and just…oh man, “we must forgive [my manservant’s] ignorance.” Bet you he has more common sense than Poppy! Poppy tells Azula to order whatever she likes, even though Poppy already has a ridiculous amount of food on the table. Reading about delicious food in a story at midnight is the worst, by the way. It’s making me want all of it, but there’s no place to get garnished fish and stuffed prawns from at this hour.

“when one has been born to privilege, it’s easy to recognize in others”—I feel like I need a side-story in which a grifter hits up the Beifong household while Toph is visiting, and Toph totally knows that the grifter is bullshitting and fleecing her parents, but is too entertained by the con to out them. In fact, maybe that grifter could by Lin’s dad, because that kind of irony would be delicious.

“The etiquette came easily to her when [Azula] bothered to recall it”—See, it’s not like Azula didn’t bother to learn this stuff. It’s just one tool in her arsenal, rather than a set of rules that she feels like she needs to follow.

Poppy recognizes Azula’s eyes as being a mark of Fire Nation nobility, though she adds that, “They are not the gold of Fire Nation royalty,” which…lol, actually, they are, since Azula is a royal. Poppy asks if Azula is trueborn or a bastard, and Azula tells the truth, knowing that the Earth Kingdom puts even more stock in lineage than the Fire Nation does.

Then we get this painful bit of questioning from Poppy: “But you must forgive me for observing that you are far from home, and seem to be without your attendants. [ . . . ] What has caused you to forsake the protection of your family?”—Oh Poppy, what if your family is the problem?

Azula pulls out a story that mixes in some lies to entice Poppy—that she’s fleeing an arranged marriage (since Poppy is a romantic)—with a good dose of truth. Poppy grabs Azula’s hand during this, which Azula is not a fan of. Azula says that her “betrothed” is a “fool and a brute” which…yeah, from her perspective, Zuko qualifies as both.

“If she was going to fabricate a life story, it would be better not to do it on an empty stomach.”—I love the forethought here. Also, if she needs to bolt, best to bolt down as much food as possible beforehand.

Poppy wonders if Azula is fleeing into the arms of a secret lover, a “governor’s son or lieutenant in the army.” I guess stableboys aren’t romantic enough for someone with Poppy’s classism.

“Having no experience of lovers, she didn’t trust herself to lie about an elopement”—This is so depressing. Too bad Chan didn’t work out, though I do think that Azula needs someone much smarter than him.

Azula admits that she’s looking for her mother, and explains that Ursa had to flee into exile or face execution for a crime that she was “falsely” accused of. We know that Ursa actually did it, but I doubt that Poppy would take that well. Azula says that her dad died of grief shortly afterwards. If only! She adds that her brother lost their fortune by being terrible at business and falling prey to duplicitous advisors, which foreshadows what’s the come with Zuko in the Fire Nation. Zuko really needs remedial lessons on how to run a country and manage the noble court. Azula adds that her “marriage” was supposed to help her family, something the dutiful Poppy would appreciate, but it didn’t work out because her supposed betrothed was violent.

Which triggers a flashback for Azula. She’s been getting hit with these at unexpected times, and while I’m not qualified to diagnose anyone, I wouldn’t be surprised if this was a sign of Azula grappling with PTSD. We get this gross description during it: “Of his hands grasping, bruising, his weight heavy on her, suffocating. Of his arm around her waist, fingers clenched in her hand. The ridges of his scar rubbed against her cheek when he thrusted and panted, filling her. He didn’t stop even when she forgot herself and screamed, when she started to bleed from the violence of his effort—”

That is not a description that indicates an act of passion or pleasure on Azula’s part. She views it as an assault, and no one should be questioning her on it.

Azula is so caught up in the memory that she loses her situational awareness, not noticing that Poppy has gotten up to go to her until Poppy touches her wrists (the sensation probably being what brings Azula back to the present, since it grounds her). Poppy almost strokes Azula’s hair to sooth her, which I’m sure Azula would not have known what to do with, since Ursa didn’t give her those maternal touches when she was around. Poppy says that her mother wouldn’t blame her for leaving a man like that, to which Azula bitterly laughs, because Ursa has never been understanding towards Azula before. I do think that Ursa would understand wanting to leave an abusive partner, considering Ozai…but whether she would have actually done it without any external pressure, or supported someone else doing it, is fuzzier. Duty in this case isn’t the death of love so much as self-preservation.

Poppy wonders if Azula’s rueful reaction means that she’s met Toph, and is judging Poppy based on what Toph has told her. “That was either amazing ignorance or amazing egotism.”—What a line! Poppy’s assumption is off the mark, but Azula confirms that she’s met Toph in passing. I do hope those two will be friends someday, but if not, there’s always “Salt and Ashes.”

Poppy starts to talk about Toph, while pushing food around her plate, “a nervous habit that spoke of weakness.” Ozai must have broken Azula of that habit, or at least scolded Zuko for it. Poppy and her husband tried to have more children after Toph, but from the sound of it, there were problems with miscarriages, stillbirths, and the babies dying soon after they were born. There’s nothing to indicate what might have been causing that, so we’re going to have to chalk it up to bad luck. Azula is sensitive to this turn in conversation, given her own pregnancy and her worries about the fetus dying or being deformed.

We get this touching line: “A smile broke over her tear-streaked face then, bittersweet and more genuine than any she had yet shown” as Poppy describes how instead of a daughter she could treat like a doll, she got a strong earthbender, who lived and thrived, unlike her late siblings. But since Toph was also born blind, her parents focused on that for too long, trying to shelter her and keep her safe, rather than respecting Toph’s agency and strength. Which, naturally, Toph didn’t respond well to. Toph and her parents are still estranged, due to a fight Toph and her dad had during her last visit, and Poppy is worried that they’ll never reconcile with their daughter.

Azula finds all of this hard to stomach, both figuratively and literally. She tells Poppy that she should be telling all of this to Toph instead, and then mentally berates herself for it, because this might backfire on her if Poppy mentions that she had lunch with someone matching Azula’s description. “This was like something Zuko would do,” she scolds herself, even though I’m not sure that Zuko would do this, since it’s Azula’s own estrangement from her mother that subconsciously prompts this. While Poppy makes an excuse that Toph is hard to track down, Azula bolts to the nearest pot and throws up in it. Darn that morning sickness! She also starts crying, due to hormones and to the unpleasantness of the situation. One of Poppy’s servants takes off her belt, which helps relieve some of the pressure on her stomach, and Poppy—who instantly realizes Azula’s condition—tells Azula that she should have run sooner. Again, if only!

Azula does think that she’ll kill her brother for this, but I don’t think that she really means it, any more than anyone pregnant says that about the one who impregnated them.

Poppy offers to do what she can to help Azula find her mother, and we shift over to a Zuko scene. Zuko’s crew caught the Dai Li agent, but the Dai Li agent escaped because he’s a metalbender. Bad luck, that. Apparently Zuko thought it was more honorable to let him live after he surrendered, which…(sigh) I do agree with. June points out that the rules of war don’t apply to a witch hunt, to which I also have to agree. While following the rules of war/the civil contract is what you SHOULD be doing, what do you do when your opponent refuses to play by those rules? Especially when the life of your loved one is on the line BECAUSE your opponent betrayed the rule of law to convict her and sentence her to death? The context here matters.

Zuko tells his crew and Ty Lee to proceed back to the Fire Nation. He and June are going to round up the Dai Li agent themselves. When that happens, June is almost certainly going to kill him. Which, as I’ve said earlier in this review, is the safest thing for Zuko to do, since letting the Dai Li agent contact his superiors would mean that his secret is out, and his family will be in serious danger once it leaks. June also suggests that Zuko needs to become a harder man to survive in their new, dangerous world, and I just have to roll my eyes, because it’s such edgelordy drivel that makes perfect sense coming from her. I don’t know that Zuko needs to be harder—in fact, I think the result of that would be a bunch of unnecessary violence and property damage—but he does need to start being smarter.

Back to Azula! Azula might not be fond of Poppy on a personal level, but she does appreciate Poppy honoring her word and making sure that Azula is supplied for her journey. We’ve got practical clothes for all temperatures (with an adjustable waistline!), rations, and what amounts to an adventurer’s pack. Azula notes that there’s a scented product in her supplies that smells similar to the abortifacient tea she used when she was…11 or 12, pretty sure…so it makes her feel sick when she smells it. Mint tea has the same effect on her. I called it—she has an aversion response now. I’d say darn you evolution, but it is useful for not ingesting substances that have made you sick in the past and could be poisonous.

Azula notes that, given how the townspeople behave when confronted with Poppy and her retinue, the Beifongs are practically royalty in this area. I do have to wonder just how many monarchs are on the continent, since we know of at least two, but presumably there could be more, given the size of the Earth Kingdom.

We also get this: “Azula had to wonder how such a wealthy and influential family had produced someone so loud and coarse as Toph Beifong. But then she would remember the looks Ursa gave her when she insisted on wearing pants instead of dresses, gentle remonstrations spoken from behind pinched brows and wrinkled nose, when Azula would rather practice katas than heat tea with her firebending. And she didn’t have to wonder anymore. Rejection could take many forms, after all. She should know that better than anyone.”—This is really sad and makes me wish that Toph and Azula could become friends and discuss this. Both of them have rejected gender norms and the expectations of their mothers, and while they have found fulfillment in doing so, that disappointment from Ursa and Poppy is still painful for them.

Poppy also gives Azula an expensive ostrich horse bred for racing, which will draw attention to her. Azula tries to make it look scruffier by getting it dirty and messing with its feathers, but she’s not satisfied that she’s done a good enough job of it, and thinks that she wants to trade it for something practical like an eel hound.

“The desert dwellers were known to traffic in exotic beasts”—I don’t remember if we actually see any of the sandbenders in this story—I’m thinking not—but I know that at one point, Aurelia was considering an encounter between them and Azula.

Azula requested a map that led in a different direction than where she’s interested in, in case someone asks after her purchases. She also, when she decides to rest for the night, takes out the passport Poppy gave her and Poppy’s scroll to Toph. Poppy sent a couple more copies out, so if anything happens to this one, Toph will still get her mother’s message eventually.

“The princess had nodded curtly, half-tempted to reduce Toph’s mother to ashes for the possibility that this peace offering might sic Zuko on her.”—Again, Azula is all bark and no bite, unlike Ozai, who probably would have burnt Poppy for “imposing” on him.

Azula decides to read the scroll to see if it mentions her. She discovers that it does not, but it is—we can imply—full of Poppy’s love for Toph and remorse for how she treated her. It’s exactly what Azula desperately wants from Ursa. Azula, upset by this, burns the letter and curls up to try to sleep, even though the sun is rising and there’s “an ache in a part of her body she didn’t give a thought to otherwise.” In other words, she’s heartbroken by being confronted with something she doesn’t believe that she’ll ever have.

And with that, we close out chapter fourteen! Thank you again for the read, Aurelia! And thank you to everyone who has been expressing interest in these reviews. Hopefully I’ll have another one to you within the next week.

Sincerely,

WiseAbsol

#Dominion by Aurelia le #Azula #Fanfiction #avatar: the last airbender #Review #WiseAbsol

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