#also i did something to my back last weekend thats still playing up and it fucking sucks

[peter-weir]

i’m so overwhelmed with packing my mother’s house up for the move like its 2:30am and i’m awake thinking about all the shit she doesn’t want to part with for delusions that she’ll finally use these things in the new place, even though she hasn’t touched them in decades; about how its taken me two whole weekends to pack her bookshelves bc there are huge hardback encyclopedias in there from the 60s that she hasn’t looked at since she was a kid that she doesn’t want to sell/throw; about the THREE SEPARATE SETS OF FANCY CHINA she literally NEVER uses that she’s insisted on taking with her even though there is NO SPACE for them at the new place; about how the china isn’t even fully packed yet bc there’s so much of it and its been 2 weeks; about the fact that we haven’t even gotten to the actual crockery she uses on a daily basis BECAUSE OF THE FUCKING MOUNTAIN OF FANCY CHINA; about how there is still so much to do and moving day is in 3 weeks; about the fact that she won’t even be in a better position once she moves so like. what is the point

[nfr-girly]

Little Hope - Bradley Bradshaw x reader (Part 3)

a/n: this one’s a little longer, not sure wether to make part 4 the last part or part 5, but hope you like it! x

part 1 part 2

Hope had settled in nicely to pre-school. She had made a good amount of friends and Bradley’s nerves were completely gone upon seeing how happy she was.

Every now and then Bradley and Y/N would talk, usually either about Hope, or the Navy. Bradley cherished the few minutes they spent talking, as he knew he would never be able to go any further with them.

Y/N knew it was unprofessional to have a crush on a parent, she had tried to get over her little crush on him, but every time he walked in she could feel herself fall even more.

Your POV

As im sorting out my classroom, a few of my students, including Hope, colour as they wait for their parents. Today Hopes uncle, technically family friend, is picking her up today. So I didn’t glam up as much as I usually did..

“Mavvy!! Hope runs up to the man, who I assume is Maverick, and hugs him.

“Hey kiddo!! Listen you and me have got a fun day planned, me and Penny are gonna get you some ice cream, then we’ll take you to the beach. That sound good?”

“uhuh” she nodded

I walk over to maverick and shake his hand

“Hi I’m Hopes teacher, you must be Maverick?”

“Yeah well my real names Pete but thats my call sign, everyone calls me it. Nice to meet you” he says shaking my hand back.

“I’ll just go grab Hopes things for you!” I walk over to Hopes peg, before I hear some whispering

“Hey kid, is she the one your dad’s always talking about?”

I pause in my steps. The one your dads always talking about? He wasn’t talking about me? Right?

“Yep, daddy was right Miss L/N is very pretty. I think he has a crush on her.” Hope whispers that last part a lot quieter, but I still hear it.

“Well I think you need to start playing Cupid”

Hope gasps in excitement. Redness fills my cheeks as I try to comprehend the conversation I unintentionally eavesdropped in.

I realise I’ve been stood at the peg for way too long, and quickly grab her things and walk over.

“Here’s hopes things, are you doing anything nice this weekend?” I bend down to hopes height so she doesn’t have to look up.

“Yep, my dad and uncle mavvy are taking me to the beach, they’re going to play football.”

“Well that sounds like a lot of fun!”

“You know Y/N if you’d like you can come to watch! It’s mostly boys but there is a woman named natasha. I’m sure you guys would get along.”

“Yes please miss L/N please come!!” Hope jumps up and down in excitement

I pick myself back up and think. Would it be weird to go? I am Hopes teacher after all. But I suppose I couldn’t miss out on such a generous invitation.

“Okay sure! Which area of the beach is it? I’ll get an uber there” I ask

“Oh no we can pick you up. What’s your address?”

I gave him my address and we specified I meet them outside my apartment at 9.

“Thanks so much again for the invitation. I’ll see you then. Bye hope!” I wave at them as they walk towards their car. Did I make a mistake? Probably. Did I care? No.

The next day: Saturday

I’m deciding what to wear to the beach. I can’t put on much revealing. Hopes gonna be there, so will Bradley. I decide to go with shorts, and a short sleeve top.

I get a text from maverick that they’re outside. I can only assume Bradley’s there in the car with them. God what is he doesn’t know I’m coming? He’ll be so weirded out by me. What am I doing??

Bradley’s POV

Maverick comes to a stop next to an apartment building, I furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

“Hey why are we stopping?”

“To pick up miss L/N” Hope yells out before Pete can get a word in. But my heart stops.

What did she mean we’re here to pick up Y/N?

“Wait what? Pete what’s she talking about?” I started to get annoyed, but also worried. Pete knew about my stupid crush on Y/N. I didn’t think he’d do something about it though.

“Listen, you and me both know you aren’t gonna do shit about your feelings for that girl. So me and Hope decided to invite her to the game. She’s only watching and on the plus side she could watch Hope.”

“What and you didn’t even ask me first?” I ask, starting to get frustrated

“You can act mad, but are you gonna pretend that you aren’t thrilled about actually being able to talk to her for more than 5 seconds?”

Despite my frustration. That shut me up quick.

“She’s here!!” I hear Hope squeal out. I turn my head to the right and see her. Oh my god..

“I’ll go help her with her bags” Pete says before getting out.

I would protest to do it myself, but I’m caught in a trance and I can’t get out. Was it possible for any woman to be that beautiful?

She had decided to wear shorts with a top. Did she know how cute she looked? I snap out of my trance when I realise she has just gotten into the car.

I turn my head to look at her and she looked at me. No words were spoke yet we said so much. She smiled at me before smiling at hope

“Hello Hope how are you doing?” She asked

“I’m okay, you look really pretty miss L/N”

“Aw thank you very much, you look pretty too, I love your bow”

Hope giggled and y/n smiled and then turned to me

“Hey Bradley, how are you?” She asked

I take a moment to conjure up my thoughts, not processing what she had just asked me, being too fixated on her

“Oh uh- yeah sorry I’m great thanks, y-you look great by the way” I immediately regret asking that and internally slapped myself

Her cheeks go red for a moment before responding

“Oh- thank you um, you don’t look too bad yourself” she smiles, suddenly becoming shy

“Okay we ready to hit the road?” Pete asks putting his seatbelt on

We all nod and he starts driving. God. What am I going to do?

————————————————————————

taglist 👇

@leahnicole1219

@itsdesiree86

[wishful-seeker]

My simplified story of my CRPS and experience with ketamine.

I've had crps for 5 years now. I developed it at 18 years old after completing a triathlon and getting tendinitis in my knee, which became crps. Over the course of 2 years it spread to both knees, both elbows, and both wrists. For the past 3 years i have been mostly bedridden. I couldn't walk for more than 3 minutes and even when i did it was excruciating, i couldn't touch a computer, any video games, i couldn't write anymore, i could barely make art anymore, i had to stop writing in my journal and had to keep it on my phone because of my pain. I cannot even sit in chairs or drive or run or jump. I use a wheelchair when i leave the house. When it was its worse it felt like i was being burned alive. I remember days when feeling okay lasted literal seconds and then it was gone. I remember days being in so much pain i couldn't pick up my phone and my mom had to spoon feed me. Days where all i could do was lay in bed and think. I remember days when i desperately wanted to go outside and feel the sun, when i walked outside i would count to 10. I would soak up everything i could in those 10 seconds, the colors of the sky and the fresh air. When the time was up i went back to bed and couldn't do that again for another few days.

I started ketamine infusions a year ago, i was diagnosed last year. I had infusions before i was diagnosed. First we did a 2 hour infusion. It worked wonders, for six weeks i actually jumped on a trampoline for a few minutes almost everyday, i even climbed the low branch of a tree and sat on it. Then we did a 4 hour infusion. The results were not the same. I tried four more 4 hour infusions every six weeks, but there was no relief. I was devastated. I thought the universe was cruel to even give me such hope. Then i got diagnosed and i was told of a place in Clearwater Florida with dr. Hanna that did infusions differently. I went there and met him, he prescribed a 4 hour infusion every day for 10 days, 5 days, the weekend off, then 5 more days, he also prescribed oral ketamine, 30mg 3 times a day on the weekend, one at night on infusion days. I did that. It was the hardest thing I've ever been through. It felt like dying a thousand times. I almost gave up and left early because i hate the experience of ketamine so much. But after the fifth day my dad noticed me bouncing my leg when i was sitting, something i did all my life up until crps which made it too painful. Thats when we realized, since the second infusion, i was in ZERO pain, none at all. That continued until i got home and i had a flair. I always get a flair after infusions, this is very normal for me, but it was scary. I worried the hardest thing i had ever done wasn't worth it. The flair ended, and i tried playing minecraft, my favorite game I've been unable to play for years. I had a system: play for 20 minutes, rest for 20 minutes, and repeat. I played for HOURS. I tried again the next day and it was the same, and the day after that, and the day after that. Six weeks after Clearwater i had whats called a booster infusion, which was 2 days of 4 hour infusions. Then i went two MONTHS until needing my next infusions, which i had two weeks ago.

Here is what my life looks like now: im still in bed most of the time, but i do not think of the pain, it doesn't distract me. It used to be 7-10/10 now its 3-6/10. I play minecraft with my best friend almost everyday often all day. Last week i painted a dresser. I have a garden i lightly care for each day. After the infusions before this one i had a day where i was completely able bodied, i baked a pie, went to the park, transplanted plants and played minecraft. Not only this, but even when the infusions wear off it still has permanent beneficial effects. In the past, no ketamine meant i was taking 4 scolding hot baths a day to soothe the pain in my knees. Now no ketamine means bath some days, maybe 2.

It's over. I made it. I made it to a life i thought was impossible and its not even done getting better. I am happy. I am not suffering. I am regaining freedom. It. Is. Over.

[ingravinoveritas]

I'm a bit worried about David as well (as adorable as that car video is) he's a slight man anyway but he looks like he's lost a fair bit of weight recently and appears more tired. (I promise thats not me weight/ looks shaming at all. I think he's such a beautiful looking man and its just an observation that he appears thinner and seems more tired and just hoping that he is alright). Also hoping he gets lots of well deserved rest and tender love and care real soon.

Hello, Anons! Thank you for adding your comments about David and the other Anon I answered earlier. I’m glad to hear from you both!

First, there is no need for any apologies. Folks are always welcome to come to my blog and vent/share their thoughts. And Anon #1, I did not at all construe your comments as looks/body-shaming. I have actually heard from several other people privately (via DM) about David’s appearance, so there seem to be quite a few of us having these same concerns.

Anon #2, I’m so delighted that you got to see the play! I love that so many of my followers or folks who enjoy my blog have also gotten to enjoy Good, and David in it, and that I get to enjoy it vicariously through you. And I’m happy to hear how lovely David was and that he showed such kindness to the fans.

I agree with everything both of you have written, for sure. I’ve noticed a sort of strange thing in the fandom, which is the tendency for people to see things like David nearly getting into the wrong car or looking thinner than usual and go, “Oh, he’s so cute!” or “It’s amazing that he’s so busy and probably exhausted but looks so good!” when there’s actually potentially something worrying going on. And it’s like...David absolutely is a beautiful, gorgeous man, but he’s also a workaholic and that tiredness tends to show up in his appearance. Two things can be true at the same time, and there’s nothing bad about discussing that honestly.

What this also got me thinking about was David filming the second season of GO earlier this year (and at the end of last year) in Scotland. He started on production late because of recovering from Covid, and then was taking the sleeper train to London to spend seemingly every weekend of filming (or almost every weekend) with his family. So I’m sure he must have been thoroughly tired at least some of the time, with the back-and-forth and the grind of filming...yet every behind the scenes photo, every anecdote we hear (like this one from Neil) shows/talks about how incredibly happy David was during filming.

So I just can’t help but wonder about what it is about GO that made it so special for David. There is that saying of “Do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life,” though of course filming and acting is still work...but the contrast to how drained and tired David has looked recently with how sparkly and happy he looked while filming GO is just really something, in my opinion.

Perhaps it was because the burden of filming (and then the press tour, and all the interviews therein) was being shared with someone else...specifically, with Michael. And Michael is that presence David needs (as we saw illustrated in this anecdote told by Michael at MCM) to do what he struggles to do himself: To remind him to eat, to get enough rest, to not get into the wrong car, and to just take care of himself instead of always worrying about everyone else.

So that does feel an awful lot like that tender love and care that you were describing, Anon #1, and like you, I really do hope David gets some of that (whether or not from Michael) very soon...

[sorry-imma-scorpio]

anyway, don’t be a stranger :)

It’s a rant :)

I think I have read Solitaire by Alice Oseman a good 20000 times by now. 

You can’t blame me though, it is an amazing piece of literature and I seem to have found solace in its tragic storytelling. 

It has been a while since I’ve posted anything, no one has read it, but is that really the point? I just seem to exist on this plane and yeah. I found an analysis I did of “The World Is Ugly” by My Chemical Romance, total red flag. 7th grade me was an absolute trainwreck. 

I spend 4ish hours a couple weeks ago on my ranking of Taylor Swift’s albums, and my big three are Speak Now, 1989, and Folklore. Not surprising - I grew up on Speak Now, 1989 was a major gift to 10 year old me, and Folklore is my comfort album honestly.

Honestly, I’m considering just putting my name on this blog, make it more personal. Why not? We’re all going to die at some point, might as well name my own diary that’s floating through space and time.

I want to dye my hair dark, it’ll be the second ever time in my 18 years of existence that I have dyed my hair.

My best friend graduated high school this last weekend. I’m so proud of her.

I am always nauseated but I can’t tell if thats because of my F in French or my long-lasting duel with diet culture and societal pressures.

The current song in my Delta-complimentary-headphones is Friend, Please by Twenty One Pilots for no other reason than middle school nostalgia and I am attempting to be an academic weapon (I graduate in less than 20 days and I am having a breakdown about it).

I think that my English teacher is going clinical- she is actually having us use ChatGPT to create a fiction story. Is that not what Hollywood is currently striking? The use of AI in the world of Creative Arts? It’ll be okay, Kai Stormrider (the guardian in this AI-generated mess) will guide me to a hopeful A- at the end of the semester. 

Middle school me would absolutely bully Senior year me for using tumblrdotcom to procrastinate a French assignment that I am literally using google translate for. But hey *shrug* we’re on a floating rock.

I accidentally told one of my ?friend’s? that she dumbs herself down for her boyfriends, but I meant she chooses dumb boys to fall head-over-heels for.

I think she’s going to block me.

In Instagram group chats, I send similar messages to this, but I get told that they are “schizophrenic monologues”... can they not just be me recapping the conversation you asked for a recap on? Must it always be something that requires a diagnosis?

I feel like I should be crying as I write this, but I can’t.

My crying wrapped that I have on Google Forms sits unused this evening, with a total of 36 cries so far that I can remember having this year. It has been 142 days since the year has started. I have spent 25% of this year crying. I thought it was less.

The song has changed- it is now March to the Sea, also by Twenty One Pilots. 

I think Tori Spring was written for me. About me. To me. I feel so similar to her it’s crazy. 

Why do we just write out the full words of “I can not” instead of “I can’t” when we write about period pieces - they used other words. “I mustn’t” for example, still a conjugation, but they used it.

I started another chapstick today. Not because I ran out of my other, but simply because I lost it.

I’ll find it some day. Will I find myself in the way I will inevitably find my vanilla Burt’s Bees?

Life is a bitch.

Hozier played. Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene.

I still haven’t listened to francesca.

I have told my ?friends? about this account, how I use it to cope. But none of them care. A snap back here, a laugh, a text left on read.

Last weekend, I went on a vacation from school for a bit. To go see my best friend as she graduates from high school. It was nice to feel wanted.

I start nearly every line with an I. 

I should be more creative.

“I Wish You Would” by Taylor Swift.

What would you wish for?

I don’t know what I would wish for. A break? A trip? An A in the French class I am still procrastinating?

My girlfriend already went to sleep. I love her so much, just everything she does. I feel bad that I feel like this, but I can’t just tell her. We’re long distance so she would worry and I can’t do that to her - I know that is a whole anxious-avoidance style or whatever. But IDK. I don’t want to stress her out or worry her, so I stay the happy, sunny, golden retriever girlfriend.

The Nick Nelson to her Charlie Spring.

She knows I have shit going on in my life, in my mind, but not as much as I really do deal with.

still not crying

Got some Panic!, MCR, and now Scott Street by Phoebe Bridgers. 

“do you feel ashamed?”

I have 22 missing assignments, and even less days to make them up. I’ve mentioned that.

I’m going to procrastinate later. Tomorrow. I sign up for where I sit for graduation.

yay.

you are loved,

scorpio (kind of)

[not-catgirls-hornyposts]

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

I have my mother but I dont know if its good

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

Not to myself at least.... I should do that one time

03: Do you regret anything?

Yes, to much and to private for this

04: Are you insecure?

Obviously

05: What is your relationship status?

Single

06: How do you want to die?

Thats something I dont know even after thinking about it hundreds of times

07: What did you last eat?

A toast with tomato paste and vegan sausage

08: Played any sports?

From dancing to baskedball, airsoft and surfing nearly all

09: Do you bite your nails?

Nope

10: When was your last physical fight?

Years ago in school

11: Do you like someone?

What kind of like? I like my family, my friends, my ex, my plushies, our pet

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

Yep

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

Myself? Not sure tho

14: Do you miss someone?

I dont know :c

15: Have any pets?

Yes! Krümel :3

Our hamster, very cute and round :3

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

Neutral I think, my body screams in pain, I am mentally exhausted, pissed off by the insurance and my foot are cold. I am also bored

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

Yep

18: Are you scared of spiders?

I dont like them going over me but more cause these very soft touches are scarry, I am not scared of spiders cause of them.

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

Do I? Even if I am not happy right now, my body just crumbles down and I lost so much, I also gained a lot, I am myself, at least partially and I have happy memories that I experienced. There is stuff that I would never dare to erase so no, I wouldnt

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

Snogged? What does it mean?

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

Manufacturing animal ears, bit on a welcome party for queers and thats it

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

I want, because I want to give someone the love inside me without needing to fear to get hurt, but that in return means that I would suck at being a mom so I wont try to get kids

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

Nope

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

What kind of subjects? Schoolclass? University?

Probably like.... IT, had my highest grades there till now

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

I miss my brother a tiny bit, he left after he found out that I look different now, but not that much

26: What are you craving right now?

Silence

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

Yes I belive sl

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

Yes

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

Yes I did....

30: What’s irritating you right now?

The wind is going through the trees but they dont have leaves, they have needles, the sound they make is the same like trees with leaves make and thats weird

31: Does somebody love you?

My sister, I think my mom as well?

32: What is your favourite color?

"Bunt" in german, colorful in english

If I imagine a world with only one color, the world wouldnt be as beautiful as a world with each color in existence

33: Do you have trust issues?

Of course

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

I was in a zombie apocalypse, i rescued my family and we ran towards an airport where I dropped them off in an airplane. However I still needed to get something so I ran back, in the 3rd floor of a building, zombies came to the entrance and I needed to jump from window to window to get down, by the time I did that I noiticed how my family got ripped apart and eaten by zombies, I landed on the ground and zombies started chasing after me. I noiticed how I have the same backpack two times and that freaked me out so hard that I woke up

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Either my mom or a friend from finnland

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

It depends, if someone has the intention to hurt me, lies or breaks a promise, I dont

Otherwise I do

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

Neither is easy cause you cant do that on your own. Forgiving isn't something you do actively as well as forgetting

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

I think its hard to top this year in regards of how much shit happend so NO

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

16, got peer pressured to kiss a 30 year old man

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

Probably as a child when I went swimming but nothing that I can remember

51: Favourite food?

Kimchi

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

Nope, after I had a giant breakdown not anymore

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

I accidentally watched a horror video so I spent time with someone to distract myself

54: Is cheating ever okay?

No! Never

55: Are you mean?

I guess? People tell me I am nice but I know I hurt them, they have expectations I cannot fulfill and I do what I can to be nice but this pain inside is accumulating and I cannot leave it out

56: How many people have you fist fought?

Fought mostly in Thaiboxing hours, rarely outside. I punched a lot of people outside too but after one punch I won so its not a fight

57: Do you believe in true love?

Not anymore

58: Favourite weather?

Thunder and rain

59: Do you like the snow?

I do

60: Do you wanna get married?

I dont know it

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

Not cute but I think I might like it

62: What makes you happy?

Dancing

63: Would you change your name?

Well I am currently doing it XD

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

No, but it wasnt a kiss on the mouth, if thats what you mean

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Again what means like? Ig this time you mean love? Well I will not go in a relationship for at least a year and I think that love isnt something I can feel like before anymore

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

Btw sex and gender is the same in germany so I just assume you mean that and since I am femgender there is a bit of a problem with these questions. However I act how I want most of the time anyway

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

Cant answer this one

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Specifiy deep

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

Not anymore

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

No, I promised I will not kill my self and dying for someone means I would let myself get killed. Pretty hard no

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

[rabidcriterion]

bro im so.

we're having a renovation on our bathroom right now. its the only one in the house, so it's fucked up my morning routine for heading out to work significantly. you know porta potties? well apparently they make porta showers too!! my bedroom also shares a wall with the bathroom, so we had to remove all of the photo frames and anything else off the wall so it won't fall and break.

on top of that, my relatives who live in the country just so happened to have to visit (they couldn't possibly stay in a hotel, apparently it's an entirely new skill for my newrly 50 year old mother to say no) and stay for about a week. they go to bed early and wake early, which means that every night at 9pm every light in the house had to be off, and if i needed water (which i would usually go to the bathroom to get) or pain management or anything else, i couldnt get it.

i returned from being away over the weekend to find the pillows from my bed were missing because my parents had decided to clean them, and didn't bother putting them back

all of these small changes have had a pretty big impact on my life at home, before the renovation i sold/donated a lot of my stuff that was just taking up space, and because of removing the photos from the wall there is still just as much clutter lying around as there was before. sellijg and donating that stuff took a lot of effort for minimal impact, and i only did that because my parents suggested it. i am finding it all very stressful.

so then my mother comes up to me in the kitchen this morning, whispering even though i have music blasting through my headphones. i take a second to pause what's playing and remove my headphones to hear her better and then she repeats about the same thing she just said. for no reason she repeats herself again, all without getting to the actual fucking point of what she was saying. it also sounded like she was telling me to do something. after her failing to tell me what it was for the third time in a row, i asked if she could get to the point, and then she told me i was rude and stormed off.

i dont know why this is pissing me off so much. i guess being 25 years old and having no other options but to live at home is why. i fully can't be an adult when my parents are around. i cant cook because theyre already putting on dinner every night when i get home, except for when they arent, in which case they dont always tell us. i went out last night for around an hour and was home by 10pm. on a friday night. my mum cracked it at me because i didnt tell her i was going anywhere. (mind you, if i mentioned i was going anywhere, i wouldnt be! she wouldnt allow it)

oh also i came home yesterday and found the one pillow thats been missing from my bed for a week, which i was beginning to think my parents had thrown out. it was thrown into a corner and had black marks on it where there were none before. what was the fucking point in washing it then if it was only going to get dirtier?

[strawberryseeded]

i spent the weekend watching various horror movies in netflix (my moms accnt obvs) cos i was too lazy to pir/ate anything. i watched uuh.. konferensen 2023 (it was fine, it was a good time), split 2016 (p good imo tho the superhuman angle was kinda silly to me. but it was interesting. solid. ending was a bit unsatisfying tbh? and the msg quite confusing? like i geddit, empowered victims.. but the kidnapper ended up becoming a perpetrator too? and the fl didnt shoot him in that crucial moment AND they also didnt show what she ended up doing abt her uncle. idk if the plan was 2 make a sequel but it all ended up coming off as.. pretty lukewarm..), the stepfather 2009 (nice. rly straight foward w the premise tho not super focused w its message.. like it was abt family but it gave too much focus to the protags gf? which i thought was a bit juvenile like we get it they are teens in love now lets get back to the dude trying to murder the whole family please.. also i kept thinking the story wud have been fun from the mothers perspective as well.. oh and a bit more bg & development for the killer wud hv been stellar), monster 2023 (indonesian) (plot was p standard (rly reminded me of that free ice cream horror flash game) but i rly liked it visually! rly cool scenography!! it almost had no dialogue & that was rly refreshing and interesting. it really didnt need any), and today i watched longlegs 2024 w my sister (which i did pirat/e)..uuuuummm... ok SPOILERS for longlegs

i rly liked the way it was filmed n the photography. also the music/sound dsgn. the time setting was confusing as hell for me tho?? like idk im not usamerican but the story supossedly took place in the 2000s but it all looked like the 70s to me???? and there are big differences between the 2 eras its not like im THAT period blind. the only scene i thought oh yeah theres no way this is the 70s is a scene in which you can see computers in the bg but anyways. the movie.

it started off GREAT. very eerie.. i had no clue abt the plot or anything btw i went into it completely blind.. so i had no idea if the movie was going for a realistic angle or a more supernatural angle. it rly reminded me of it follows 2014 not bc the fl was played by the same actress (it was) but bc everything that was happening seemed not quite real. like a dream. i loved that..

so ok. its p clear from the beginning that something is p weird (supernatural weird) abt this whole thing. the fl makes my suspicions grow bc shes some sort pf psychic so i though ok the killer is def some kind of hypnotist. i was wrong tho, whatever. lets skip a lot of stuff. plot twist it was the devil all along. i felt kinda silly bc im usually p good/fast understanding movies (esp this type of movies) but i was so confused by the end of this.. i was like huh.. wait what do you mean the devil is real in this story. it was rly easy to catch onto that btw i was just still expecting a psychic weirdo killer angle idk maybe i liked that idea more deep down lol? but it wasnt so my sister was like dude are you serious the devil was right there in one scene and i was like what. she went back to that scene. the devil was right there. oh ok. wait then what about the scene in which the mother shoots the dolls head why did she do that if the deal wasnt over. and what about the surviving victim why did she kill herself after the ball was out of the dolls head. oh god i almost forgot what abt the chief(?)s (no ok i literally cnt remember either his name nor job title im so sorry. yanno lees boss) did not even ONCE say smt like "oh hey my daughter has the same age n bd date than all the other daughters from the victim families. thats peculiar. lets take some measures maybe?" like forget that last part, why wasnt this even BROUGHT UP. another ridiculous thing abt this was the "birthday party" lee was invited to if thats even what you can call it.. most of the movie i was waiting for an actual party, with lots of people (STAKES, yknow?) but lee was literally the only person invited apparently?? what was up w that. also why didnt the fl shoot the dolls head at the bd party in the first place why did she wait until the dad started killing ppl. also the deal was supposed to end with the 13th victim i think so why did the mother say she will keep killing. me & my sister concluded well idk lets sleep on it i guess. yeah.

overall enjoyable and interesting, but i feel like the plot-twist reveal and the ending were a bit idk rushed?? like ill be quite honest i didnt feel anything abt the mother being the accomplice???? it was good in concept but was a bit lacking in execution.. like. why shud i even care.

[approachme4fun]

MissBanshee__

Gaming & LoveLife

I have tried literally everything regarding MissBanshee__,and getting us back to where we were before the argument,but my desperate efforts (showing her that i really cant function or live without her),is being met by blocks,bans and ghosting across the board. I still technically consider me her boyfriend,and her my girlfriend. As we never truly broke up with eachother.

I did a dumb reversed psychology thing,where i needed reassurance that she still loved me,wich i probably shouldnt have done. I also got abit too upset over the fact that she yet again neglected me,when she in reality herself had promised that the entire weekend were supposed to be "our time only",as she streams in the week days.

But lately shes been jumping on invites or other friends streaming lobbies,despite her saying to me things like her internet was gone,or her migraine really bothered her. I always wait patiently on my girlfriend then,because i know up front what is going on.

But this past weekend,she claimed her internet went out and i waited and waited for her to say it had come back. When i got tired of waiting,me going through random streams randomly stumbled across her laughing and having a jolly good time,online in a tcm lobby with people she apparently had told on her Thursday stream that: "Starting tomorrow and throughout the weekend,ill be spending it with my mans."

Again,this is not me putting restraints on MissBanshee__ (her twitch account) or making rules for her,like Megyhs (now a unseparated friend of MissBanshee__ thanks to me introdcing them to eachother) accused me of,on a recent Minecraft stream. (Megyhs has now followed blindly in MissBanshee__`s footsteps,just blocking or banning me wherever i try to reach out to make things right.

I have 2 main things i have anazlysed up and down i was ready to apologize for,1 is already said reversed psychology where i unfollowed her twitch and questioned her in ways that might have confused her. Again,all i needed was to hear her say that she loved me and wanted to stay as a couple,because what hurts even more then a F YOU Approach to my face,is hearing "maybe we should just rather be friends". As i cant live without her love,if she only let me explain....

I came from a state of mind where i didnt really have a life,it was a dark place of miserable existence. She came into my life,first talked me into adding her on discord,wich i was hesitant to. And after that over the following weeks she won me completely over,knowing about my past relationships that left me hurt and packed with mistrust.

She promised me she would never ever block me out of her life,the only thing she said was "It has to be you breaking up with me". I guess she could have viewed the unfollowing and general reversed psychology as one,but i was never going to. And since i can no longer apologize to her,i apologize to the masses on twitter.

I wish i didnt come off soo angry at her either,but in reality all she would have done to prevent this,was to let me know up front that she was invited or wanted to play with people she plays with the week through

And recently had been living ingame with over a 2 piece attempted 48hour stream that went with a small internet outage break,lasted long over 60ish hours,and just days after that another 24 hour stream,where i never had any real quality time with her whatsoever,and it was driving me slowly insane over the past weeks,where also our weekends was ruined by something or someone.

I love her that freaking much,she gave me a life of hope wich i havent had in YEARS! I could have done anything for her,and i did. I can not go into full detail about what i did for her,but it required often that i neglected my own need of sleep to be present for her whenever she needed me.

She had me 24-7 and i never complained,because i loved being her best support she has ever had. And my heart still wants to,thats why its soo heartbreaking that she cold and evil just blocks and bans me everywhere,even when im begging her for 5 minutes of her time on discord,where i can make everything okay again.

I even paied her 1USD for each minute of those minutes on PayPal,and while i was being respectful she was heard saying on her stream: "Can i block people on PayPal?" (I have that recorded btw)

So once again she hurt my feelings,and i told her some harshfull stuff,while still begging her to talk with me,and i also questioned her intensions,since she keeps hurting me and confusing me,as this is not the MissBanshee__ i once fell for.

She gave me life promises i couldnt believe that she wanted to do for me,that actually had me tearing up of happiness. Based on living things that meant too much to me f ex.

Now,i havent slept properly in going on 4 days,i keep waking up panicking,looking at the screen,hoping for a sign of contact from my woman,my girlfriend....future wife. A flimmer has even been in the picture. I can not function or eat without her daily love and support,the way i thought she couldnt live without mine. I thought we had similar strong feelings for eachother,but i seem to be the desperate one when it comes to trying to get through arguments and continue like we used to.

Learning from our mistaces,growing stronger as a relationship and couple,but she got over me before the actual argument had even gotten cold. She already has new besties she barely knows compared to me,and has replaced me on her stream screen,wich she honestly never even had on there.

Makes me question her on several areas,and the fact that shes over the top happy go lucky on her streams. I have heard about putting on a brave face,i know that feeling all too well,but i would have heard on her that she was truly sad and hurt on the inside,if thats truly what she felt like. I know her too well.

Im not gonna paint myself a saint in this argument,i did 2 things i wish i could take back,have undone/unsaid. But also honestly,she didnt do it easy for me by keep on neglecting me,and letting me find out on my own,that she was "breaking her own weekend rule,with people she LIVES ingame with throughout the week days".

I never play with her during the week anymore (before the argument) Because i back off and let her do her thing,i dont want to interupt,our playstyles crash and what not. I dont feel like im worthy of playing with her on stream,and she seems to have way more fun being over the top aggressive and toxic ingame,with sweaty players.

Im soo fu**ing respectful normally and patient its crazy,all i want from her is to let me know up front,if she runs off hanging out with people,when she has promised me that its our quality time,with no other persons involved.

Every day that goes by,i think of her every minute,every second. I cant stop breaking into tears,my heart aches too much,just longing for her to once again embrace me,wanting me also for the future.

I cant simply live without her,i havent done anything in 4 days but to use my last bit of draining energy on getting my love back,only to get coldly stomped on. I havent used the best of words always,but im sure she doesnt either if she were in a desperate love aching situation,she uses more fowl language on her streams,then i used against her. I never judge her for it though,im just saying.

I dont have a life anymore,she was my last bit of hope and sparkling light in a dark tunnel. I love you until i die,MissBanshee__! (Or until my heart and soul doesnt have energy left to scream out for you to come back to me) Why did you become so cold and evil? We could have come out of this argument even stronger. We both are to blame heavily,its just not one side. Why did you stop fighting for me? :(((

Unless you magicly come back,Goodbye my love! :((( #Heartbroken

The characters we first met ingame as,Johnny and Julie. I dont even have fun playing this game anymore,without her :(( Plz come back to me!?!

PS: Came to my attention that one of her moderators that looked over my unban request,calls me a stalker. Uhm,im technically her boyfriend and i have genuine strong feelings for someone i have gotten to know well for months. BTW,interesting of a moderator to say,knowing that one of the ones she plays with again now reguarly,is the biggest threatening stalker,and hated tcm community member ever,that even the devs has banned once already. That doesnt make much sence to me. And i dont bother her,im begging my "girlfriend" to speak to me,wich would make me relax,maybe get some appetite back (im super dizzy most of the days,im just slowly fading away)

She keeps on hurting me,by not responding and just blocking and banning me all over the place. Im simply just a "boyfriend" that needs to sort out missunderstandings and the argument from my side,so she can feel better too.... Im shocked that im being looked at as a stalker. Would i call her that if i blocked her and she kept trying to get in contact with me? No,because my love for her would want to hear her out,and start over. So now im just gonna wildly assume that she has taken the toxic path? Super unaffected,with a fresh argument she deserved to be "yelled at" for just behind her,but wich i also need to take my guilty parts from.

Are we 12 or are we both adults,how about we solve things in a non immature way???? She has sounded way too unaffected on both her streams,for someone that loved me as much as she claimed she did, I just find it all super immatured,toxic cold and evil. I did 2 mistakes,but its nothing compared to how she mistreated me. If she cant take me letting her know,then she will never learn regarding relationships.

[weirdmageddon]

i was thinking of this again on my drive back from school today (turns out i didnt have classes today)

one of the things that really pissed me off with the epilogues is how dirty they did jade. they made her into a sexually promiscuous puppet of the narrative. ok she was sort of a puppet of the narrative in homestuck but she was NOT sexual at all. and its NOT the dog hormones she was NOT like that in homestuck. they just refused to fucking give her the justice she deserves after being a plot device in homestuck which is why i ignore the epilogues except for the dave and karkat moments because theyre the straight men (even though theyre both bi lol) stock character archetype to the absolute fucking circus that is everybody else in the epilogues. i cant see how being alone growing up and being isolated from friends necessarily leads to being horny when the seeds for horniness were never established early on which is why epilogue jade feels so off. craving human contact sure yeah i can see, like just being around others, but thats different from being fucking horny all the time. ugh theres so much more to her than that

so instead i propose that jade and dave are a creative force on earth c and are constantly collaborating on something creative. its better narratively and closer to their actual essence in homestuck

we’ve already seen in the comic how jade and dave collaborate and create shit together, more than any other character duo. i feel like this connection to their aspects should continue even after the game. theyre still bound to those aspects no matter what

i can imagine a 3(+) person band

dave on drums, percussion, keyboards/synthesizers, and maybe backup vocals. he can split himself into multiple time travel copies in the same time and place so long as he adheres to the loop which he is of course responsible about. like

DAVE: yeah i gotta play vibraphone with jade KARKAT: DIDN’T YOU JUST SAY YOU HAD TO PLAY A SYNTHESIZER WITH HER AN HOUR AGO? WHAT THE FUCK DAVE: yeah but last weekend KARKAT: WHAT DAVE: i have to go to last weekend to play with her KARKAT: BUT YOU ALREADY DID? DAVE: dude i play more than one instrument DAVE: i was there last weekend beating the shit out of those drums and saw two other daves there on the moog and the vibraphone DAVE: and i was like guess im going to come back here at two different points in the future to play a moog and a vibraphone in this jam session DAVE: so thats what im doing

and they can have matching outfits like the dead shuffle dress and four aces suited. except the other daves might be wearing something different to differentiate them for dave’s own timeloop sake so he knows when the right time to go back is

jade on guitar, bass, woodwinds, and vocals. but wait, how can she do all of those at once? the two commissioned dirk for a new jadebot with a musical capabilities, but he just did it for free because theyre all trillionaires it wouldnt matter lol

normal jade by necessity must play vocals and woodwinds since jadebot doesnt have lungs. jadebot also has those extra arms and fingers like her dreambot once did so she’s better for stringed instruments anyway. jadebot can play guitar AND bass at the same time… WOW!!!! but if jade doesn’t need any woodwinds for a song she can have either a bass OR guitar and jadebot will play the other one. versatile band!

who wants to draw this

im still so happy dave and jade made awesome music together in canon…… they should start a band.

both of them can use synthesizers in canon (or at least DAWs) based on the music theyve made together

i can imagine jade having a good singing voice for some reason in addition to bass and guitar (she can upgrade to distortion with an amp too). and maybe she learns that damb flute with practice!!! i can also see her being a saxophonist too she just has those vibes

dave starts out with drum machine but i can imagine him learning drums and percussion themselves since he has such a good grasp of time. could probably do some cool improv jazz fuckshit. and he owns all the fx and mixing

[tears-of-boredom]

My room door has its hinges on my side so youd have to break the door to get in. I think i can hold my side if im awake. Im kinda paranoid. But i guess i have basis in that. I have a reason why i feel so stressed in this house. Even though i shouldnt. I should have no reason to have to keep a knife in my room to feel safe. And i think she doesnt see that i have reasons. I think that she thinks im just angry at her. I think she thinks i dont answer her because im mad at her. She thinks that i would want to keep my door closed when she comes in to talk because then the cats can get in. She thinks i care.

My sister sent me a text earlier. It was actually yesterday. We dont really talk to each other, just relay information when needed. She said that she wants for me to leave as well for the weekend so she and her friends can be totally alone. It wasnt in a rude way or anything. She said that she had noticed how closed off ive been for a while, and that shes pretty worried about me. That if there's anything she could help me with, she would. She said that she cant help if she doesnt know how to, and asked if i could respond. Then a hug sticker....

..........

......

Last year, I would've been so happy to get that message. I knew then that my sister cared about me, and that she would listen if I opened up to her...but it never felt right, it was always like i would be needlessly ruining her mood. That text read to me like a direct invation to share things. It read like I would make her day better by telling her how I've felt all this time.

........but...

I dont know, somewhere there was a tipping point...past that point, i dont feel redeemable, or frankly, like a person. Her words also mirrored mother's words pretty closely, so it makes me afraid that her other words would do that as well.

I feel like any help people will try to throw on me, will just go to waste. Not even the jokey "im employing people" excuse does anything for me anymore.

I needed saving when i was in fucking 2nd grade.

.....what if i got the wrong diagnosis....what if thats why none of the therapy or other aids work....i know that its impossible to fake an autism diagnosis, i know......i also remember how i still thought i was fine, how i was actively playing down every problem i had....whenever i stepped into the doctors room, i took on this persona....the good patient.......

........i just remember the red couches in every room.....in my head, i was just entertaining the adults.. they wanted to do all this to me, and me telling them i dont feel like it helps me, or that i dont see the point in it,, it didnt convince them. So i played along, while convinced i was alright, convinced from the start that none of it was going to help.....

...i was still bottling up all my frustrations, because if you ignore it, it goes away. Talking back will only lead to more conflict. I let the adults mispresent me, not like i cared, it wasnt going to work either way. Since the adults are better at knowing whats good for me, maybe theyre better at knowing me as well huh.

......i remember feeling really guilty, sitting in the waiting room and looking around. Seeing these other kids who had real problems. I felt like a faker. I wasnt supposed to be there.....

.....thats kind of how i feel about life..like im a faker, and that im not supposed to be here....

Last sunday, i was just asking the whole time in my head "why?", "was this your plan?", "did i do something wrong?", "is this what you had always planned, or did i make a choice that altered it?"......

..........

.......i wrote the tags before all the shit from my sister's text onwards..this wasnt supposed to be another one of these posts, just a quick "lol i hate it here"..... i hate it everytime i insinuate that i have trauma. I mean every. single. time. Its the same with any problem that i see as "real". I'll say i have something a couple times, but then the guilt catches up and i feel like ive been lying....its catching up from my "aspergers" diagnosis.....the fact that the diagnosis is called that makes me feel even faker.....i asked about it one time, about why they used the "outdated" term, and the reasoning was that "its just an older term for autism dont worry, it means the same thing"......

...........

......my fuel has kinda run out by now.....my tears have dried completely.....i dont know how else to end this....sorry for posting this. I know its shitty of me to say that and post it anyways, i dont know why i do this........

[strange-dreams-are-made-of-these]

You Made Her Shine

Summary: The reader is having issues internally dealing with her past truamas. One specific person decides to go on air and twist a story for his liking. Stephen does not approve of this message. Reader is 34 and Stephen is 44-45. Based after Endgame, before NWH

Part Two here!!

Word Count: 2,020

Warnings: Angst, childhood trauma (absent father, maturing young), Fluff at the end, i think thats it?

A/N: This was something i had to put together. Writing is therapeutic, and i can help myself release these emotions in a safe space. This origin is slightly based on my childhood (not 100% of it is true), but just enough for me to see a part of myself in it. Also, the gif used was created by @cumberbatchlives​ as per the credit in the bottom left.

Father's day weekend wasn't always her favorite time of the year. There was nothing against the time of year or anything. It was just a simple reminder to the woman that she missed out on so many different life lessons from having an absent father. It was something she struggled with internal, keeping it from the people in her immediate life. So when her biological father was seen doing an interview about her, she watched it with seething rage for him.

"So, what was it like to raise, Y/n? She's a superhero, having been found responsible for saving lives in New York three years back and then being a part of the Avengers to defeat Thanos! That must be remarkable." The woman interviewing him was doing her job, and Y/n understood. What she couldn't understand was why he looked so damn proud, sitting on a couch and wearing a suit. It looked expensive, worth a lot of money.

"Where to begin?" The man chuckled. "Y/n was the apple of my eye-"

"Was?" The interviewer asked.

The man chuckled, pulling at his collar. "Life comes with different stages. When she was little, we were inseparable. After she turned eleven, she became her mother's daughter. They were two peas in a pod, joined together at the hip." He spoke, grinning the whole time. "Not many people get to say that their daughter is an Avenger, working fighting alongside Kings, Gods, and super soldiers. I wish there was footage of the fight against Thanos so I can point her out. I can say, Hey that's my daughter."

"Yeah, you would like, wouldn't you?" The woman whispered to herself, watching the screen intently.

That was when Stephen walked by, seeing her watching the interview. Her right leg was bouncing, her fingers interlocked together tightly as she sat on the edge of her seat. He knew something was wrong. He looked to the screen, seeing his name in a banner below his image. Rick Swann, that was his name. The woman dropped his name long before he could ever remember, picking up her mother's last name while still attending grade school. He watched as the station played videos of Y/n saving people from debris, collecting children who were separated from their families, and fighting the bad guys. He could see the resemblance between the two of you, nothing more than your hair and eye color. Just enough for a logical guess.

"Mr. Swann, tell us, how did you feel when Y/n contacted you after the fight? Certainly, the both of you checked on each other."

There was a slight twinge in the man's neck, but he played it off by running his hand across it. "I called her, and we cried. It had been so long since I heard her voice. I told her how much I loved her, and how proud I am to be her father."

"LIAR!" The woman yelled, standing up and throwing the remote across the room. She worked herself up a little bit, waving her hands in front of her to turn the television off using her mystic arts training.

Stephen stepped into the room, holding his hands out in front of him. "I don't think the remote deserved that." He replied, getting her attention.

The woman turned around, seeing Stephen dressed in his comfortable clothing. It was a nice change of pace from his Masters Robes. She looked at him for a few moments before turning her face to the side, relaxing her shoulders as she slowed her breathing down. "I'm sorry."

Stephen watched her as she tried to calm down, sensing there was more to the story. "No need to be." His voice was calming, something that the woman loved about him. He was a gentle giant in her eyes. He could do wrong, nobody was without imperfections, but Stephen's soul was unique. "What was that about?"

She looked at him again, watching as he walked over to where she had been, appearing interested in her outburst. She took a step to the side, sitting back down on the couch, giving him room to sit as well. She rubbed her hands together, trying to figure out the best way to start her story. "I don't know how much of that you saw."

Stephen sat down next to her, tucking one leg under him. His right foot rested under his left knee as his left hand reached down to rest on his right calf. "What I saw was somebody struggling to tell the truth."

The woman met his eyes, her normal light-hearted and enthusiastic stare was now one of gloom and hatred. They were wet as if he interrupted her from crying. "That's an understatement." Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"You can tell me if you want."

She knew Stephen wasn't the type to demand information from his friends or the ones he cares about. He was much more relaxed than the man who was on the screen minutes before. She shook her head, her eyes darting down quickly before catching his again. "The man is promoting himself as a loving, caring father. A father who was honored to have their daughter fight to save the world, be known as a public figure for helping the innocent."

Stephen nodded slowly, his right arm resting on the back of the couch near her shoulder, and his thumb and index finger reached out to rub the fabric of her jacket. A soothing gesture to help her relax. She appreciated it, he could tell when her eyebrows began to relax from their once pursed expression. "But?"

"But he never was." She responded, almost defeatedly. "He never cared about me. He never cared about my mother or my brother. He was always at the office, pinning the next intern who entered his office. He only showed up to events where he would look good if it was known I was his daughter. Award ceremonies, championship volleyball games, my high school graduation, and my college graduation. He didn't live with us. He had an apartment-" She exhaled deeply, feeling frustrated that she had to explain to Stephen something that she never worked through herself. She looked down again, her eyes clenching shut as she tried to keep her composure.

Stephen gave her the time to gather her thoughts back. How he wished he could change those memories for her, or find her quicker in life so she may not have always focused on the pain.

Y/n continued on. "He was the first man to break my heart. My heart broke years before I even realized what happened. I lived with the guilt that I wasn't a good enough daughter for him. I thought that I was an embarrassment. I never saw him much growing up outside of major events. Even then, I didn't see him for long. I was there for my brother growing up. I took him to get his tuxes for his events." She laughed a little, recalling a memory. "I made a dinner for him and his prom date, both years. I set up our patio and decorated it, giving him and his date a special memory to have. I taught him how to tie his tie. I taught him how to ride a bike. I took him out for driving lessons on the weekends." Then the regret set in again. How much it hurt to have to grow up so young and help her mother raise her baby brother.

Stephen watched her as she rolled through the emotions. "Y/n, I'm so sorry. I never knew-"

"I never wanted anybody to know," somberly she admitted. She looked back up at him, the tears welling in her eyes. "I thought that the fight to bring everybody back was going to be my biggest fight. It will never compare to how I fight every day with myself to never make somebody else feel the way he made me feel." She was truly broken, beyond what she ever thought was possible. "He waited until my brother was dead to say those things. He knows that if he was around now, that interview would have never happened." She began to cry, placing her hands in front of her face, and beginning to lean forward.

Stephan caught her, wrapping his arms around her. He loved Y/n so much, having developed quite a relationship with her before he disappeared in the blip. She met him shortly after he became the new Guardian of New York and the sorcerer supreme. He helped to train her, and she taught him so much more about getting a second chance, so much more about life. From everything he knew about her, he would have never imagined her start in life was so broken. "It's okay now. I've got you." He whispered in her ear, pressing a quick kiss to her temple.

"It's not fair. He broke my mother's heart and gave her money to raise us instead of owning up to his responsibilities. Why marry her when he never loved her? Why have kids when he was never going to commit?" She asked him, resting in his tender embrace.

Stephen held her, rubbing circles into her back as she found comfort in his arms. "I wish I could tell you, Y/n. I wish I could have been there, but we both know we can't change the past. For whatever, messed up reason, you were meant to live through that. But look at you now! You're a master of the mystic arts! You saved billions of lives from mass genocide. And, you have me now."

The woman pulled her head back, looking into his eyes. He never had to remind her of her accomplishments. He never once had to speak about her achievements. None of that mattered to her. What he did say that mattered to her though? She had him. There was no fault in his voice, no twinge of muscle or tendon, no need to pull on his collar. He was certain, his body language reassuring her. But it wasn't enough to be sure. "What if you meet somebody better?"

Stephen looked at her, bringing one hand up to wipe the tears that fell from her face. "I have met better. I met you. I met you when you were at your worse, and you still didn't act like you were the world's most pitiful human being. You care for those around you. For some reason, you decided to care for me."

The woman searched his face, feeling all the negative emotions leave her body and allowing for all the love he was giving her to take over her thoughts. "I love you, Stephen Strange. Please don't leave me."

Stephen pressed another kiss to her forehead, his lips then trailing down to kiss the tip of her nose. "I would never want to leave you, Y/n." His reply caused her to cry again, this time in happiness. He was angry with the man who was on the screen, angry that he acted the way he did. But if it weren't for his actions, he would never have Y/n as his person. "I think that we should go out tonight." He suggested.

She sniffled a little before looking at him again. "Really?"

Stephen nodded. "Yes, well, the world is saved again. The population was brought back, thanks to you and your thinking with the other Avengers. We haven't had a proper date night since the fight. I'll pull out one of my expensive suits too, nothing like the fake trash he was wearing."

Y/n licked her bottom lip, nodding to everything he had to say. "Yeah, a date sounds good." She loved the thought of seeing him in his suits, knowing he had a preference for Armani. She loved him in his casual clothes too, like the ones he was currently wearing. But to be able to dress up in one of her dresses to show off how soft and delicate she could be was a nice feeling too. "Thank you, Stephen, for everything."

"Thank you, for trusting me."

[i-always-wanted-brothers]

52! ler!peter2 lee!peter3 because i definitely feel like he would say "not there..." about someone getting near his feet or bad rib😂❤

Oh this is cute, thank you for sending it in! I hope you like it! So sorry for the delay on it! I realized this is my first time writing a lee other than Peter 1, so let me know what y'all think! Also, I think I'm gonna try out the tickletober challenge (a little late, but there's no harm in doing it at a different time!) Hope y'all like this and I promise not to disappear again lol @parker-fluff (I promised I'd tag you when I finished this so here ya go!)

The whole world was warm. Warm and soft and peaceful. A soft, dim light peaked through the curtains but Peter 2 didn't mind. He was as cozy as can be, curled up under a mound of blankets in his soft bed. He'd wrapped up work at Otto's lab early last night se he didn't have to bring anything back with him.

A soft click of the door let him know that one of his younger brothers had entered the room, but he wasn't aware enough yet to even consider getting up. Someone pulled the thick comforter back and quietly slipped into bed next him, pulling him closer and wrapping their arms around him. Peter 2 sighed and melted into his brother's arms, smiling when he felt a kiss pressed against his head that was tucked under the other's chin. Probably Peter 3 then. Yep, this was a good way to start the weekend.

Gentle fingers started scratching up and down his back, making him smile and hum in approval. Just as he was on the edge of falling back asleep, he flinched slightly as Peter Three's fingers moved to brush over his side. He tried to stay still, not wanting the moment to end, but the teasing gentleness was simply maddening. He hummed in play annoyance and angled slightly away but Peter 3 just adjusted with him.

"Cohohme on Thehee," he chuckled into his pillow.

"Shhhhh just relax Peter!" Two could hear the mischief in his brother's voice. Suddenly Peter 2 squealed and turtled as Peter 3 danced his fingers over the back of his neck.

"AlriGHT that's it! Get over here, you!" Peter 2 surged up and turned around, grabbing Peter 3 around the waist and knocking him down on the bed, rapidly squeezing at his ribs as they fell down. Peter 3 was squealing right away.

"Did you really think you could tickle me this early in the morning and get away with it?"

"Shuhuhuuht uhup, Two!"

"Ohhh no you're asking for it now!"

Poor Peter 3 was already in hysterics, his happy laughter bouncing around the room.

"No no I think you're trying to get something," said Peter 2, smirking at the other, "So how about you fess up and tell me what's got you going today, huh?"

"NeHEver!"

"You sure about that, buddy?" Peter 2 started slowly walking his fingers up Three's sides, slowing down even more as he neared his giggling brother's ribs.

Peter Three's eyes grew wide in anticipation and horror as he realized what was about to happen. He bit his lip in a failed attempt to try and hide his smile.

"Don't you dare, old man."

Peter Two's smile grew till his eyes were crinkled up in the corners as he gently laughed at his brother.

"So THATS what you wanted, huh? Very well then!"

And with that, Peter 2 struck, wiggling and squeezing his fingers right into Three's ribs making him let out a shriek and fall into loud, bubbly laughter.

"WAIT! Not theHEHRE NAHAAHAHAHAH! PETER!"

"Nono, you brought this on yourself young man!"

Peter 3 squeezed his eyes shut and turned onto his side halfheartedly trying to escape the tickles, wheezing and giggling as he weakly pushed at Two's hands. His strength was failing him quickly as Peter 2 relentlessly played at his ribs.

"This what you were trying to get? You just wanted some tickles?"

Peter 3 shook his head in between silent giggles, now just holding on to Two's hands and no longer trying to push them away.

"Well? What'd you want huh? You gonna talk lil buddy?" Peter 2 stopped to give him a break, but kept his hands resting on the other's ribs just in case he needed some encouragement.

After a few moments of Peter 3 gulping down air and getting out the last of his giggles, he was still quite and almost uncharacteristically shy.

"Hey Pete, what's up? You know you can talk to me." Two was slightly worried something was wrong, but Three had seemed so happy just a couple moments ago.

"Nothing really. I mean- I just wanted to hang out with you today. You've been busy a lot lately."

Peter Two's face softened and he smiled gently at Peter 3.

"Aw buddy, I'm sorry! You could have said that, you didn't have to tickle me awake you know."

Peter 3 smiled smugly and shifted his weight under Peter 2, "Yeah, but it's more fun that way!"

Two's eyes narrowed glaring playfully down at him. He flexed his fingers against Peter Three's ribs and raised an eyebrow.

"Oh no," Peter 3 gulped and suddenly his rambunctious laughter was bouncing off the walls again. Peter 2 laughed with him, beaming down at his little brother. A good weekend indeed.

[iwadori]

Haikyu Boys neglecting you for another girl PT 1 (Kenma)

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Word count: 1.3K

Genre: angst,fluff

masterlist

Kenma:

You go over to your boyfriend ,Kenma’s, house every weekened to play on your shade survival minecraft world 

But one week you were too cramped to come over one week so you missed out on a gaming session 

At school the following week you heard Kuroo and the guys teasing Kenma over a new found gaming friend 

But you payed no attention

Now you’re done with your exams and ready to continue on w/ Kenma on fighting the enderdragon and building up your world

You get to Kenmas house an hour after finishing your school club, upon entering you hear him button smashing upstairs (per usual) but something not so usual was him giggling with laughter...

Kenma.Your stoic boyfriend Kenma. giggling..

Because of your confusion you slowly go up the stairs as his laughter ensues making you more perplexed ‘kenma barely talks to people that aren’t Kuroo and me, especially someone who makes him laugh this much’ you think to yourself.

“Ella, i’ve found the stronghold! Just follow me” Kenma exclaimed as you entered his bedroom “Yes Ella you have to press X to jump” he laughed again

‘Ella, who’s ella’ you think. You hear a response on the other end but you can make it out properly. Kenma and ‘Ella’ continue on speaking making plans on what they’re about to do next.. with Kenma not noticing you came into his room yet. You look at the TV and notice that Kenma is playing with someone else on YOUR world that you started which made you slightly agitated. 

You purposefully drop your bag a tad too aggressively, but that seems to work as you catch Kenmas attention as he turns to you for a split second as he mumbles quitely “Oh hey babe” before swiftly getting engrossed again into the game.

Annoyed, you sit on next to him on the bed waiting.. JUST WAITING for some proper acknowledgement to which you received none. You just sat there mindlessly scrolling through your phone as he continuously talked with Ella AND coached her through killing the ender dragon (a plan that you and Kenma said to do together since the beginning of your minecraft survival world idea)

After almost an hour of just sitting there idly, you decide to get up pick up your bag and leave. Hoping just hoping that your ‘oh-so great and caring’ boyfriend would take off his headset and stop you from leaving. But this isn’t a movie of course... so no Kenma did not run straight after you pull you into his arms and comfort you. He stayed in his room laughing away with Ella putting you at the back of his mind.

You go straight home and cry still wishing for a follow-up text on the incident that happened at Kenmas but no response there.

Luckily for you, it was half term break meaning there was no school for a couple weeks so you didn’t have to face the awkward confrontation or lack thereof with Kenma at school. But it was unlucky for you since usually every half term and weekend you’d spend at Kenmas but obviously now you can’t.

You do wonder if he’s thought about texting or calling you to reconcile or even just thought about you at all. You desperately wanted to reach out to him, but with your relationship you do feel that you’re the one that always has to start the conversation after you’ve had a ‘falling out.’ So all you do is wait ( assuming that you’ve broke up or something for now.)

The two weeks of break has ended and now you’re back at school waiting to face the music. The whole day, you felt anxious waiting to bump into him in the corridor or see him at lunch but you never did.

Later that day you get a message..

Kuroo: Hey y/n! How have you been ??

Y/N: Fine.. i guess

Kuroo: How are things with Kenma

Y/N: Tbh I don’t really know, we haven’t spoken since the weekend...two weeks ago I don’t think we’re together anymore..

Kuroo: Y/N don’t say that you and Kenma are definitley how do you spell deathfinetly? still together just meet him today at the arcade at 8pm and ALL WILL BE REVEALED 

Y/N: okay....

Kuroo: DW Y/N! It’ll all be fine

Nervous, you get changed (making sure to look extra cute because this may be the last time you’ll have the title of ‘Kenma’s Girlfriend’ :(( ) You arrive at the arcade and look around for a second before spotting Kenma at the race car game (where you had your first date) and it looks to you he is hiding something behind his back..

When you reached him he looked very shy (even more so then usual) and you were about to speak before he shouted

“Y/N!” he said cringing at the volume of his own voice “ I need to tell you something, more like show you..”

You stood before him with your arms crossed silently tapping your foot waiting on him to continue. Surprisingly, he brings in front of you a little girl who looked about 8 or 9 with a very very cute face.

“n-n-nice to meet you” she bowed in front of you a blush covering her face

“Y/N this is Ella” Kenma said “My new step-sister”

You were shocked to say the least Kenma having a new sister that was great but didn’t answer ALL your questions. Judging your facial expressions Kenma led you and him to sit down letting Ella go on play (as you obviously watch her close-by) 

“Okay, I know you’re probably confused but Ella is ma’s new boyfriends daughter and that time you came over my house was my first time ‘meeting’ her so instead of doing it physically I thought the best thing to do was to play minecraft with her and as I was so focused on that I kinda sorta forgot about our usual dates and over half term I went over to hyogo were Ella and her dad live for the break to meet them officially I’m sorry very very very sorry Y/N for not contacting you i just assumed you were mad at me ... which you still probably are now so i understand if you want to break up and i-” Kenma stops hearing you slightly chuckle looking exasperated after all that rambling. 

Thats the most you’ve ever heard Kenma speak in one go ever and you thought it was endearing that he has a new sister. Of course you were mad that your boyfriend that he neglected you for weeks but you were definitley over that and wanted to just continue on with your life with him.

Kenma stared at you expecting some form of response and all you did was stand up, go to him and pat his head. 

“You’re so cute kenma” you said “Of course I was mad, but i get it now”

“So are we still boyfr-”

“Miss Y/N” asked Ella looking up at you awww how cute “Are you and nii-chan boyfrined and girlfriend”

Kenma and Ella both stared at you expectedly waiting on your response (Kenma more than Ella)

“Of course he’s my boyfriend sweetie!” You said ruffling her head and you hear Kenma sigh in relief “Let’s go play some games now come one Kenma”

You hold Kenma’s hand as Ella runs ahead of you

“Also Kenma..” you let go of his hand “You let her play on our world..seriously”

Kenma awkwardly rubs the back of his neck and chuckles

“I’ll make it up to Y/N dont worry “ he said

And he did do that indeed, as it seems over the break he built a mansion for you and him and reset the end so you complete the ender dragon with him. But you did also include Ella in on your world now and you and her got closer to the point where she will call you nee-chan.

Authors Note: how do you feel about the ending ?

I hope this is well, I’m not that used with Kenmas character so i hope i wrote it good and you like it! Please give me comments and feedback and my request are open so send in your request please!! Also this was meant to be a part two to my ‘taking a prank too far’ but i kinda wrote this in a different direction 

[heyitsyn]

MANAGER!SEIJOH AU

a/n: this is kind of an au like what if you were

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

anon:

- 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 i would like to request a seijoh!manager reader who’s a first year and is siblings with ushi and the team’s reaction to finding out that she was supposed to go to shiratorizawa with ushi and their reaction with her getting along with the shiratorizawa volleyball team and maybe the manager is a small cute soft little energetic ball of sunshine 🥺🥺 also hewwo, hope youre doing well! ☺️ -🎷🐛

- Ir seijoh manager series is so gooood. Can we get something where by some weird reason yn-chan is close to ushijima and tendou and the seijoh boys dont know about it and how they'd react to her being so affectionate w them ahahwindkdn

EVERYONE SHUT UP AND LOOK AT HOW FREAKING PRETTY TENDOU IS LIKE AKLFDJLASKFJDLSKFJDSFLKD

okayokayokay

so this is a what if thing

like what if ushijima was your older brother

SLKFDJADFLIJSDKLDF I CAN ALREADY IMAGINE OIKAWA SCREAMING

you didnt exactly have the best relationship with your mom

you remember when you were younger that she used to yell at your brother for using his left hand and you got angry a lot because you were fiercely protective of your brother

this caused her to yell at you too for being nosy and being involved in something you shouldnt be in

duh we know that ushi’s dad takashi actually supported him for this and protected him too and you were also a papa’s girl so you always ran to him

he understood you both better and while your mother worked, he was at home taking care of you two

then when they mentioned wanting to separate, you were very sad but somewhat relieved

mostly because you hated hearing your parents arguing and you felt bad for your brother as he constantly did whatever to get you out of the house

thats what brought on your love for volleyball

you werent exactly the best player but you were interested in it and often watched matches with him

but you also liked volleyball because your brother liked it

you liked whatever your brother liked

he adored you too and he was a boy who didnt talk much due to your mother but he was always a talker with you

especially when you couldnt sleep, he would sneak you out of your room and you both would run to the kitchen and eat ice cream

even with just a 2 year age difference, he looked as if he was older than you due to his massive height

‘just wait nii-chan! i will drink enough milk to reach your height!’

*insert lenny face*

AKLDJFSLDKFJDF I HATE MYSELF

CAN I PLEASE DIE

however

when they divorced, you thought your father would take both you and ushi

like the lady at the court even asked you where you wanted to go and not a breath of hesitation you chose your father

you weren’t very concerned because you knew your brother was going to choose your dad as you both were closer to him

so imagine your surprise when he said he didnt care and naturally, the mother would get the child

lowkey you felt hella betrayed and when your dad whisked you away overseas, there was this grudge you held against toshi

yall youre like 5

i would be hella mad too if my brother chose the person who yells at him all the time

in california, your father made sure you still remembered your brother and you tried to detach from the japanese lifestyle to your new one but you just couldnt

maybe around 6 years you were already fed up with the hot california heat and you wanted to go back to japan to see toshi again

you got over that grudge years ago but your mother refused to have any contact or anything to do with your father and so that included you too

she refused to let you both video chat and any type of connection

your dad obviously noticed your sad expressions and your obvious longing to go back to your brother again and so he arranged something

you shut the door gently before taking off your shoes by the doorway

the large house was often quiet except for the constant typing of a keyboard in your father’s study

‘tadaima’

you meekly mumbled but his sense of hearing never wavered so he heard your voice

‘oh? y/n?’

his voice echoed through the hallways and you heard his chair squeak as it was moved back so he could stand

your sock-cladded feet padded against the hard wood floor and you walked towards his study where indeed he was standing there

your father has definitely aged yet his job as a coach made him as fit as he was decades ago

as much as it disgusted you, you could tell what your friends meant when they said your dad was good-looking

they actually said your dad was hot but you refuse to acknowledge that

you and your friends are like 12 tf

you closed the door and sat down on the loveseat at the corner of the room as it was your designated spot

‘hey, papa’

you greeted with a smile and he gave you the same grin

‘i ordered f/f (favorite food) for dinner tonight so try and listen for the bell to ring, okay?’

you nodded

there was bit of small talk and you asked about his team while he asked about school and you both arranged to hang out over the weekend at some ice cream shop

the conversation dragged on until you heard the doorbell and you ran to the door to answer the delivery man

your dad put out the plates on the table and you excitedly dug in

‘also, you remember your grandmother? and her terrible back?’

oh god of course you did

they lived about 30 minutes away from your house in japan and she constantly worried your father bc the woman was approaching 90 and was still picking peppers!

with old coach ukai

‘what did she do now?’

your father chuckled at the exasperation in your voice

‘she misses you. says something about the family’s princess needing to go back to her country or something’

there was a smile in your face

your grandmother was your favorite and she always said you were the princess

she hated your mother because of how insensitive she was so she only acknowledged you as the only other female in the family

obviously your brother was also liked but there was just a special bond between you and your grandmother

‘so when are we going back?’

you asked and it was clear that you were excited at the thought of going back to japan as you havent been back since you moved due to your father’s busy job and your school

takashi swallowed his food before revealing the news

‘actually, if you want, you could finish your schooling there. but only until college first though because your old man needs you over here too’

nah bro you didnt even care about the last part

literally your fork fell to the table and you shrieked 

‘WHAT?! SERIOUSLY?!’

and thus brought you back to japan

you stayed with your grandmother on your dad’s side and you quickly got accustomed back to japan life

OH

your BROTHER!

okay

so waka-chan def heard you coming back

your mother was grumbling about it the other day and he was sure he heard your name in there

‘sdkfjkdslfjdkslfj y/n dkfjlsdkfjldkf’

LMAO THATS ME TRYING TO SAY THAT WAKA COULDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE SAID SINCE SHE WAS MUMBLING SHE WASNT KEYBOARD SMASHING LMAO

there was a mutual giddiness in there too and he was excited to see you again after many years without contact

however

there was a bit of fear in there that thought back to when you were younger and his choice of not really having a specific parent despite your pleads to stay together with him

but he was going to make sure your bond was still intact!

he would do anything in his power to do so!

when you arrived

your dad accompanied you back to japan and you both were walking out to the exit of the airport when you saw your grandmother excitedly waving a sign around

in bold sparkly letters, it said ‘USHIJIMA’

okay wait i love grandma usui 

you quickly ran over to her and she grasped you into her arms

‘nana’

you sobbed and she hugged you tightly

‘im so happy youre back home’

your father shook hands with the friend she brought to help drive you guys back home

old man ukai was basically the chauffeur but hes really good friends with your nana so it was okay

the entire ride you guys basically caught up with each other and you couldnt help but laugh whenever your dad would go on a rant about your grandma being too reckless and your nana defending herself

‘oh stop it, takashi. i was only given one life and if it’s over, it’s over. for now, ill live it how i see fit!’

your old family home was exactly as you remember it but you didnt expect the 6′2 boy in the living room

‘nii-chan’

you meekly whispered and he let out a soft smile before opening his big arms

you ran into them and he held you tightly

‘i missed you. so much’

he whispered and you nodded 

it was def such a nice thing to have your brother again

oooo your dad been knew that you would be sticking to waka like you did when you were itty bitty young

so when you practically begged waka to stay at your nana’s house the entire summer, he couldnt refuse you

duh your mom went to see you but you just quietly sat there and smiled at her

polite but distant

due to being around waka so much, you naturally went to his volleyball practices and their training camp

there

you met his friends and you guys quickly got acquainted especially with tendo bc he was just so fun

and he was your brother’s boyfriend best friend

the others were still kinda distant with you ahem ahem im looking at you shirabu

but they were mostly amazed at how powerful the genetics played in your appearances because wowza you were beautiful

lmao dont let waka hear them say that bc they would be benched all season in a single snap

during training camp, you usually sat at the sides or you would be their stand-in manager

goshiki absolutely LOVES you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOSHIKI MY SON MY BABY

him and you were the same age so there was an easier way of being friends and your energies just matched so well

he would run up to you whenever he got a play right and you would ruffle his hair affectionately

LADKSJFLDSKFS FLASHBACK TO TENDO!SISTER X GOSHIKI

‘y/n-chan!’

‘y/n-chan!’

‘y/n-chan!’

hell even ushi was getting annoyed at goshiki’s constant need for you

tendo would steal you away and he would be giggling to you about how adorable you were and you just giggled along bc wow this beautiful man is really talking to me right now

ALKSDJFLKSF CAN YOU TELL IM ALSO A TENDOODOO SIMP?

‘cmere, y/n-chan. i taught toshi this the other day and he was very impressed and wanted me to do it again. okay so it goes in a rhyme, ya ready?’

you nodded along and he shot you a close-eyed smile before starting to draw on the dirt with a stick

‘there once was a man with-’

lets just say

you were definitely your brother’s sister

sometimes though

you would try and go towards the calmer players to get away from the rowdiness from baby daddy tendo and baby goshiki

you would find them at the gym just doing drills and at the sight of you, they would turn red but continue playing

they didnt really mind seeing you there bc youve always been such a positive energy and cheered them on which gave them strength

‘NICE ONE OHIRA-SAN!’

‘WAHHH SO COOL YAMAYAMA-SAN!’

you were like a cute ball of serotonin >o<

‘wah, of course its expected for you guys to be the top in the prefecture. youre like,,,,, silent but deadly~!’

duh a compliment from a girl?

dead

shirabu’s bangs would get in the way of his vision sometimes yall i will never stop making fun of that ridiculously adorable haircut so you would use a clip and tuck it away for him

this big babie is so awkward that he turns red when you whisper in his ear that you were done

semisemi baby and you got along bc you guys had a similar taste in music and because you lived in california, he was fascinated that you were in the music capital of america

‘did you see celebrities down the street?’

he asked you excitedly one day during lunch

you stopped then smiled softly

‘semisemi-kun, i didnt live at that part of california’

nah to him, america is just filled with celebrities

OH DEAR BABY BOY KAWANISHI

taichi is a generally quiet guy

like you thought he was actually selectively mute when you first met him

but you gradually got him to talk and you would help him whenever he would want to practice

usually it was during the ungodly hours of the morning

you woke up and went to grab a drink from the common room but you noticed his large build exiting the door so you followed him into the gym

‘kawanishi-san?’

you called out and felt guilty when he jumped 

‘oh, hey’

he aknowledged

‘wha-’

you stopped to yawn causing your eyes to close making you miss the brief second of softness that flashed in his eyes

‘what are you doing?’

you tiredly asked

taichi dusted off his trackpants after kneeling down to rummage through his bag and you couldnt help but gawk at his height

‘im training early’

he answered

‘why? is it because you want to keep up with the others?’

you mumbled and he was surprised for a second but reverted back to his stoic expression

‘i have to make sure i am able to reach my seniors level for next year’

taichi turned away to grab a stray ball and you moved to go to the storage room for the ball cart

‘oi, what are you doing? go back to bed’

he said from the other side of the gym but you just looked back at him with a tired grin

‘meh, i want to spend time with you, senpai’

you reasoned

he shook his head before walking over to you then ruffled your hair

‘no wonder youre so tiny. you dont sleep enough and let your body grow’

yep that was the closest youve gotten to taichi joking with you

usually, hes training and when hes in the zone, nothing else has his attention but the ball

maybe thats why the others ahem goshiki has said that he was very scary

his game face was practically a mean face

basically you spent the entire training camp with them and then soon, you were going back to school

duh everyone hmm maybe not shirabu bc he most definitely read the school book of rules thought you would be going to shiratorizawa with them 

but you broke the news to them one afternoon and imagine the tears from both tendo and goshiki

‘WHHYYYY!!!!’

‘NOOO!!!!!’

‘why can’t you?’

semi asked and you were about to answer when shirabu beat you to it

‘the school doesnt allow late transfers’

oh right

the american school system was set in a different schedule than a japanese school system

it was considered the summer for them yet school already started a few months ago

since shiratorizawa was a very academically and physically prestigious school, they refused anyone who would potentially be late or behind their curriculum

‘so where ya headed to then, chibi?’

tendou pouted and you leaned against his arm

‘hmm some school named aoba johsai? i dont know its near my grannie’s so that’s all that mattered’

oh dear

USHIJIMA NO Y/N WILL NOT ASK TOORU TO GO TO SHIRATORIZAWA

they consider seijoh a rival bc theyve played against them practically in every prefecture tournament and they were worried for that infamous setter

‘ne, y/n-chan, promise us that you won’t be swept away by them! especially a guy named oikawa tooru!’

uhhh

well

tendou’s warning was kinda ignored bc you ended up being seijoh’s manager

hehe

surprise?

but they weren’t really really shocked tho bc they knew you liked volleyball so you would naturally be in the volleyball team

even as a manager

meanwhile in seijohhh

OooOOOoOoOooooo sEiJOOhHHHH~~~~~~

okay so you were actually registered under your father’s last name usui rather than the ushijima last name

therefore you werent exactly immediately known as HEY! USHIJIMA’S SISTER!

you still became the manager the way you did as mentioned in part 1 

and you still are their adorable baby manager

you were aware of their oikawa’s hatred for wakawaka so you try not to talk about him even though youre literally the closest person to him

was it traitorous? 

maybe

but you actually even help them when they practice

duh the boys are like eyebrow raise emoji 

‘wow youre really into volleyball, huh, manager-chan?’

matsukawa commented and you just smiled

‘hmm, my family likes it so ive picked up a thing or two’

LMAO

little do they know your brother is literally the best volleyball player around and is a member of the under 19 team and your father is a volleyball coach in america and would someday be someone iwaizumi hajime (19) would apprentice under

there was a lot of times you thought you would slip up like your home screen was of you and waka but youve been careful to cover it up

BUT

you cant always be sneaky

it was during the first day of the tournament and you were filling up their water bottles I SWEAR WHY IS MANAGER-CHAN ALWAYS FILLING UP WATER BOTTLES when you found a familiar bunch of boys at the end of the hallway just chatting

you havent seen tendou and the boys in so long so you placed the bottles down and rushed over there so quickly

‘TOMUTOMU!’

you shouted and the oddly-haired boy turned and he gasped before grabbing you into a large hug

this grabbed tendou’s attention and he cheered then hugged you too

your giggles and happy cheers were so infectous and they just absolutely missed you so much 

these tall boys were at a advantage so someone scooped you up and you were just affectionately being talked to and hugged and LKDSJFSLDFJ SO LUCKY SO LOVED

meanwhile

the plant babies were wondering where the heck you went to 

‘y/n-chan?! where is she?!’

oikawa panicked quickly while iwaizumi hit him to shut up

‘be quiet! you won’t find her if you’re too busy freaking out!’

‘ill find her’

matsukawa volunteered and they nodded, feeling at ease of him being capable to find you if you were in trouble

but when he returned empty-handed and with large eyes, they knew something was up

they ran behind mattsun to stop and copy his shocked expression at the sight in front of them

is that

you?

with

shi

ra

to

ri

za

wa

oh my god

‘y/n-chan!’

oikawa shouted, being the first to speak

you jumped and your own eyes widened

‘oh. oh no’

you mumbled

the others were so stunned and seijoh itself was so hard to make speechless but they were just shocked

period

‘what is happening’

iwaizumi mumbled

yea the others were just shocked period

‘hey guys’

you waved and you motioned them closer

‘uhh,,, well,,, um they are my friends’

you smiled uneasily and they could see that

‘aaand?’

oikawa signalled you to say everything bc he knew it wasnt the whole story

you sighed

‘ushi,,, jima is my brother’

you mumbled the last part

but they heard you

‘HAH?!’

you cringed and the shira boys were about to move to protect you but they saw you glare at them

‘what? what about it? hes my brother? and?’

you babbled

‘but,, why are you,, in seijoh? dont get me wrong! its just,, youd naturally go to shiratorizawa right?’

mattsun waved his hands around and asked the question thats bugging the team

‘i came to the country late’

‘THE COUNTRY?!’

well,,

turns out you havent exactly told them everything about you yet :/

even when youve cleared the air and introduced waka as your brother, seijoh still didnt say anything

they were stuck in this shocked and surprised moment even at the end of the day and when you went straight to the shiratorizawa team,

they watched with wide eyes as you laughed with goshiki and was jumping around with tendou

‘AH! TOMU! MY HAIR!’

‘TORI-SAN! SATORI-SAN! TAKE THAT!’

wow you were actually really beautiful when youre happy

‘i dont think ive seen her this happy with this much energy’

makki said and they nodded

it was true

you were usually calm and collected and was the perfect balance to this chaotic team

so seeing you so free and loose with them was so refreshing, even if it was with damn ushiwaka

you finally went back to the seijoh boys and they all sent glares to the violet team before sending you a smile

‘you ready to go, manager-chan?’

watari ruffled your hair before handing you your bag to start walking to the bus

‘yea. lets go home’

as you all walked, oikawa was already starting his tantrum

‘y/n-chan~! why aren’t you that happy around us? are we not enough for you?’

oikawa whined and pouted

but you just turned to smiled at him and stopped walking to pat his head

‘im not their manager, therefore im not pressured to act like anyone except as a friend and a spectator. but i try to be as professional as i can with you guys to make sure you dont appear bad to others. and you guys are perfectly chaotic enough, adding me into the mix will just about kill coach’

oikawa didnt seem satisfied though

‘but! thats not fair! they get to see you smile and i dont!’

iwaizumi growled at him to be quiet but you beat him to it

well

you smiled at tooru but your eyes shone maliciously

‘i knew you would act like this, oikawa-san. as punishment, i gave nii-chan your phone number. good luck avoiding him now’

oikawa screamed

a/n: AAWWWWW LETS NOT KILL COACH IRIHATA OKAY? HES LIKE OUR GRANPAPA AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LEAVE OIKAWA ALONE WAKAWAKA-KUN!

[kaz11283]

The Shape of You

Summary: While at one of Tonys top end parties the god of mischief asks you to dance to your suprise. You didn't think he was the type to dance muchless to the song that he decided to ask you to dsnce to.

Characters: Loki, Thor, Tony, Natalie, Wanda, Clint, Steve

Pairings: you x Loki, you x Thor (platonic), you x Tony (Brother, sister)

ANNOUNCMENTS: I got this idea while listening to "Shape of You", then I really started getting into the story everytime that I listened to it (which was a lot). Ive had this on my head for a while now but i had to finish up I think I'm in love and part 2. I also got 200 followers today, next is 300, lets get this! BTW I know that this is a GIF from High Rise but it gives you a PRETTY good iead whats going on. 💚💚💚

Loki Masterlist

"Why do you insist on bringing me to the boring ass parties Nat?" You asked trying to pull the hem of the dress down that she had picked oit for you. It wad a dark blue thigh length dress with a very low v neck, the shoes where a high heel ankle strap black shoe with small bows on the side the same color as the dress.

"Stop. Stop pulling, your not gonna make it any longer by doing that." She said swatting your hands away. "I bring you to these 'boring ass parties' because you spend to much time in the library doimg research, in your room working, or sitting in the lab trying to make something better. Point is, you are always working."

"I dont hear you complaining when something of yours gets improved, or an upgrade. Nat I love you but I am a weponds expert. I work better in the quite, thats my zone. Not here."

"Is that why you enjoy spending time with Loki? Because I have to tell you y/n hes not really the quite type." She rasied an eyebrow to look st you.

"Hes not the quite type around all of you because you all make snide remarks. Hes usually quite around me because I dont pick on him or call him names." You turned and looked straight at her.

"All of the other reindeer, use to laugh and call him names." Tony sang walking up to the two of you with a drink. "Couldnt be talking about reindeer game could you?"

"Thank you Tony, and we were just finishing talking and Loki." You answered walking off to sit at the bar where Steve and Thor was sitting.

"Your brother throws one heck of a party." Steve saod tilting his beer to his mouth. "Defiantly better than some of the parties I've been to."

"It is a good party but nothing like the ones on Asguard." Thor boomed with laughter. "You must come some time, we would have a grand celebration in your honor."

"Hes always been a little over the top, if you cant tell. Always had an eye for big, expensive things. Flamboyant parties, playboy style women, expensive cars. Whatever he wants he gets, now dont get me wrong he does work his ass off, but sometimes it would be nice to just have a weekend were the walls didnt shake while I am trying to work on something."

"Ah but little sister, all work and no play makes y/n a dull boy." Tony answered lightly slapping your back.

"Jesus Christ Tone, stop quoting movies, it gets rather annoying."

"Another round, bartender, for little sister." Tony said ruffling your hair.

"You realize I cant stand you right?" You shot him a sideways look.

"Thats why I dont let you work on my toys." He answered giving you a kiss on the top of the head before walking off.

"Thor?" You turned to the god of thunder.

"Yes Lady y/n?" He turned to were he was facing you, his legs on either side of your thighs.

"Do you know of your brother is going to show up?" He laughed turning back to the bar. "Dont get me wrong I absolutly love your company but...."

"You would rather have the company of a more slender, raven haired man tonight." He raised a brow while taking a drink of his beer.

"Well, yes. He is quite interesting to say the least." You laugh.

"Well lady y/n, he said he would be down shortly. He did say he was going to make an apperance though."

"Thank you." You stood, leaning down to kiss his cheek before walking off to find someone else interesting to talk to.

"Hey y/n! Over here!" Clint shouted waving you over to were he, Nat, and Wanda were sitting.

You sat talking to them for a little bit about what new stuff you had added to their weapons and gear, Clint was excited about trying out some of the new arrows that you had developed. You kept gnacing around the room hoping to catch a glips of Loki when he decided to come down.

While you and Wanda was in the middle of a conversation you felt a tap on your shoulder. Turning slightly you seen Loki stamding there was a know it all smirk on his face, he was wearing a completly black suit with his hair slicked back, you coud have swore that your heart stopped.

"Hello Darling, I heard you had been asking about me?" He offered you his hand to help you stand.

You laughed tucking your chin down slightly, you could feel your cheeks heat up. "I am going to kill your brother." He lead you back to the bar and getting you a drink handing it to you.

"You look quite ravishing tonight." He leaned in whispering in your ear. "Dont start being bashful tonight, after what happened last night." He had caught you off guard causing you to spit your drink back in your glass.

"Loki," you hissed smacking him on his shoulder. "We dont need Tony going all Iron Man on you tonight."

"Dance with me." He took your glass sitting it back on the bar and grabbed your hand.

"Oh no no no no. I dont dance." You tried stopping but he pulled you to the edge of the damce floor.

"Then dont dance, let the music guide you, or just follow my lead." He grabbed your waist pulling you closer to him, the song was an up beat song and he started moving. "Midguardian dances are so simple, it would be a type of tango I am assuming." He took you hand and wrapped it around the back of his head before placing his hand on your lower back pulling you even closer.

"This is crazy." You laughed after a few practice steps. It was simple yet intimate at the same time, you had a feeling you knew where this was heading.

"But simple, you are better than what you give your self credit for." He spund you around a few times as the tempo changed, when he spun you back to him his chest ws aginst your back as his hamd splayed across your abdomen.

He traced his nose up the side of your neck as you both moved causing you to give a small moan. "My bed sheets still smell like you." He whispered.

"Loki, can I let you in on a secret." You turned back in his arms to face him.

"Of course my dear." His fingers stroked your back.

"I think I'm in love with you." You wrapped your hand around his head so that you could pull his ear down to your level. You heard him take a breath and the dancing faltered slightly but he kept moving.

"It feels as though I might be returning those feelings y/n." You smiled up at him he turned you in a few more circles causing you to be facing away from him again. His hips following yours in a delicious manner causing your thoughts to go back to the night before. His trailing kisses down your neck to your collar bones, fingers caressing up your sides pulling your shirt over your head. You returning the favor and being speechless at finally seeing him with out his shirt on. He had a more slender figure but his muscles were still there. Remembering the feeling of his chest clenching as you ran your fingers up and around his neck to pull him closer for the earth shattering kiss that had lead to so much more.

"You reliving some of last nights activities, y/n?" He asked quietly.

"Yes but sadly I am having trouble remembering some parts. You might have to remind me." The song ended as you pulled him off the dance floor and through the doors leading to the hallway.

~~~~~

Tag List:

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@high-functioning-lokipath

@rosaline-black

@serpentargo

@drbaureid

ANNOUNCEMENT 2: Wow wow wow, ok so some slightly adult situations but oh dear lord, my face is a little red just from writting that. I've read worst but never wrote. What I would give to be twirled around the dance floor like that by him. Thank you guys for reading! I really hope you enjoy this one. Like I saod I have been thinking about this for about a week now and here it is. I habe to say this is like top 3 of my faves (my first was and still is my fave "Bath Time For a Prince") Thank you again for all the love and the support!!!!