#also i could say more about projecting insecurities onto main characters but ill keep some kinda mystery on here for now i think

[afantasyoffiction]

hey caitlin! been awhile, hasn't it?

19 and 24 for the ask game :)

ahah hi max! it has been too long :)

btw i absolutely adore opening my notifs and seeing ur likes so thanks for being literally the sweetest and most consistent moot <3

19. character tropes...

this is hard bc tbh i was def influenced by tropes when i designed a lot of my characters...

Sabrina is kinda like the grouchy fmc trope, i guess. she's very sarcastic and hates waiting around when she should be saving her sister. in all honesty, Ray is very much the gay best friend, which was NOT INTENTIONAL i swear... hes just a very supportive person and he'd do anything for his bestie. and so what his flirting ability is a major plot point what about it good for him. isy is definitely that one trope of like 'pull out all your weapons' and they just. keep pulling out more weapons. so many weapons. where the hell did they get all these weapons from

24. this is an objectively insane questions just because i both intentionally and unintentionally put SO MUCH of myself into my characters

Isy is probs the least like me. She's super stoic, calm, focused, driven, singleminded, loves weapons a whole lot more than people....

i could never be so chill or so mysterious lmfao

i have a character in book 3 thats gonna be a lot like me, Grace. she's nerdy and passionate and stubborn, at least. otherwise, i would say Sabreia has a lot of the things i would say if i didn't have a filter ahah. shes super sarcastic, and stubborn, and incredibly insanely loyal to her family. i don't think i have her reckless streak, but her loyalty is definitely something im projecting lol

thanks for the ask!!! xxxx

[geeky90-blog]

Celeste: A Review

 Surprise! I forgot to review Mirror’s Edge. Work’s been really hard on me lately, and so I’ve been struggling to find time for my hobbies except for some quick bursts of gaming. 

I’ve spent the last week and a half/two weeks playing through Celeste, an Indie Platformer by MattMakesGames on my Switch. Last night after many tries and roughly 27 hours poured into the game, I’m happy to say I completed all 24 of its levels and am floored by this game. Hit the jump below to see my thoughts.

Title: Celeste Platform(s): Nintendo Switch, Playstation 4, Xbox One, PC, Mac, Linux MSRP: $19.99 Total Playtime: 28 Hours (Roughly) Status: Main Story Completed, All Levels Completed, ~100 strawberries collected.

Read on below my friends. 

For those that aren’t aware, Celeste is a game that was developed out of a small scale project that turned into a full game. (The original game is actually playable online for free, here: https://mattmakesgames.itch.io/celesteclassic) Players play as Madeline, a young woman with the drive and desire to climb Celeste Mountain, a mysterious mountain that features multiple breath-taking sights, including an abandoned city, a ghastly hotel, and spikes.... tons and tons of spikes. 

The premise is simple enough to hook you in, but the actual story, while not as expansive or in-depth as many of our AAA games today, does... well, it does really well with its subtlety, symbolism, and of course letting fans interpret Madeline’s journey. (More on that in a bit)

Graphics-wise, the game bases itself somewhat on old retro titles, more towards the SNES/16-bit era, while the music keeps a nice synth-retro style to go along with it as well. Fitting, considering how the game originally got its start as a retro game made on a retro (imaginary) console. Aesthetically it fits, and the game’s beautiful backgrounds, details, and more truly shine on any screen.

Gameplay is one of the true highlights of this game. Similar to Super Meat Boy, I Wanna Be the Guy, and other titles in that nature, this game is designed to be hard, precise, and brutally unforgiving at times. While there are some instances of RNG, for the most part success or failure is based upon the player’s skill and reflexes. This is pretty refreshing for the most part, as sometimes RNG can become a bit too common place or critical in the world of gaming. (I’m looking at you, Pokemon!)  You can run, wall-jump, dash, and that’s about it. But where the game starts to shine is the difficulty and precision moves you must make in order to be successful. Each jump, dash, and wall-jump truly matters. One wrong move can find you falling to your doom, getting impaled on a bed of spikes, or getting crushed by a laughing block.  Each step and failure you make along the way allows you to learn the game and master its mechanics. One of the most satisfying moments for this game for me was finally mastering the more advanced abilities that are essential in succeeding in the later levels, and I felt truly accomplished by completing the climb and reaching the Summit of Celeste Mountain. 

The difficulty is something that I truly thought would bother me, if I’m being honest. I’m well-known by my partner for my temper when playing video games. (I once rage quit fighting a Pelipper in Pokemon Alpha Sapphire because it kept spamming recovery moves on me if that says anything) However, when I first saw the trailer for this game in a Nintendo Direct last year, something about it stood out. Maybe it was the aesthetic, the story, or the challenge... but like Madeline, I knew I wanted to climb that mountain. I had no reason why, I just knew I wanted to. I think that’s the appeal of the game... some large challenge that players want to overcome.  Celeste presents itself in a way that encourages the player to keep up their efforts. Each failure becomes an opportunity for success, and I can’t think of any moment I truly rage-quit at the game. Yes, I may have been annoyed, but I still felt empowered to finish the game. Even when I faced the final two levels last night, dying almost 500+ times, I was encouraged by the game as I kept learning the correct actions to take. This ultimately led to my final victory when I finished the game ... at 2:30AM. I felt accomplished. I felt proud. I felt...tired. But overall, I felt satisfied at completing what I set out to do in this game: climb the mountain and complete each level in the game. (Collecting all the Strawberries scattered about the mountain, that’s... a whole other story) This game has perfect gameplay, and I believe it’s one of the strongest examples of refined and easy-to-master mechanics in a video game since Super Mario Bros. It is that good and the gameplay makes it worth the price of admission.

Here there be spoilers after this point, 

But the true heart of the story, that keeps you going, is the Madeline and her internal conflict. The overall narrative focuses on her drive to climb Celeste Mountain while also opening up to the faces she meets along the way. Madeline is relatable: she is determined, insecure, and stubborn. This was why I was able to invest myself in the story and for many players, I think this creates immersion in the game. One of the few faces on the mountain she meets is, of course, her other self brought to life by the mountain. Her fears, her insecurities, and more manifest themselves in her alter-ego, and the journey she has confronting herself and overcoming this makes up the true heart of the narrative. And this is one of the highlights of the game that comes together in a wrenching climax and finale. Many games have done the “evil” rival of a character story before (Sonic & Shadow, Mario & Wario, Samus & Dark Samus, etc.) but this game adds some real emotional depth to their conflict and their reconciliation. 

This is in fact, something, I think that allows the player to make up their own connection to Madline. The game is never outright saying what exactly Dark Madline represents at times. It does allude to her insecurities, her fears, her anger, and other negative emotions.... but there’s no set defined name for what she represents. The general consensus (that I agree with) is that she represents depression, anxiety, or mental illness. However, it’s extremely easy for the player to project onto Madeline their personal feelings. (For example, I read the story almost coding Madeline with queer theory, with her Dark Half representing her repressed, true self, and their reconciliation being Madeline accepting of herself) It’s subtle story telling like this that lets the players fill in the gaps, so to speak, which makes for a lot of fun overall.

That being said, there’s truly nothing I’ve seen like Celeste before. The game takes some basic tropes and ideas from its genre, but presents it in a way that’s like a breath of fresh air. Encouraging notes are given to the player throughout the game, the music is somewhat calming and grand, and the environments are all beautiful despite being 16-bit pixel graphics. I’ve been rambling at this point, but I think you now get the picture: this is one of those rare games that will be defining for a generation of gamers, and I am happy I stuck out to the end and completing the game by what I wanted to do. I put 27 hours into a game with 24 levels for my first play-through alone without even realizing it. I got sucked into the world of Celeste, and that doesn’t happen to me in a video game as much as it used to. I could have kept the fun going by collecting all of the game’s 200 strawberries (I ended up with about 100, getting me the second best ending) but I knew my limits and goals: I wanted to finish every level in the game... and I reached that summit, proud of what I wanted to do.

There honestly is nothing much I can say about this game in a negative light. The only thing I can think of is more tutorials for the advanced movements, but otherwise... there isn’t much I can say about this game negatively. It is that good: believe the hype. I will say the best platform (in my opinion) is to get it on the Switch. I played this game in short & long bursts, putting my Switch to sleep when I needed to go back to work or when something would take me away from the mountain. The game is fabulous on any platform, but I think the portability of the Switch makes it easily the best choice to play on. 

In sum: if you are a fan of the genre, you owe it to yourself to play this game. Celeste is unique, fun, and frustrating but satisfying at the same time. The music is catchy and fun, the graphics charming and beautiful, and the gameplay is near flawless. The story is emotionally driven, and I honestly think this is one of my Top Games of 2018 easily. Be brave, approach the mountain, and get climbing.   Final Score: 10/10 

[cosmosogler]

hi. today i slept in for an hour because that’s how i roll. or, i guess, don’t roll, because i was laying in one spot and not rolling.

snoopy peed on the couch this time. that’s the first time she’s done that. luckily i still had the trash bags so even though there was a lot of it, i could clean it up without too much trouble. 

i considered all the biking i had to do today and decided to not work out. i took a super long shower. it was mostly super long because i was completely lost in thought! i came up with a story idea. i spent like three hours doing a little research and writing an outline. it was a mistake to spend all that time on “not homework” but i dunno. it’s been over a year since i wrote anything. i wanted to write. i have some stuff on my mind that i worked in a little bit.

it’s a follow up to that goof story i wrote about a friend’s characters meeting mine a few years ago. 

i feel weird. a lot of my friends (and me, admittedly) have a favorite “go-to” character we revisit over and over again. asher’s got kai, for one. asher’s friends seemed like they had favorites too. i try to pay lots of attention to all my characters- and i do- but i dunno, kyral’s just the one i’ve spent the most time on. he’s really the only “protagonist team” character i’ve made that, i guess, succumbs to his flaws. everyone else overcomes them, or at least finds something they like to do. i guess making a character and projecting all my insecurity and anger onto him and watching him fail over and over is fascinating to me. 

and i can’t feel too bad about ruining this imaginary character’s life because his life is mine. 

maybe it feels like... i am giving myself permission to fail? by writing about this guy who can just never catch a break. he feels powerless, but it’s pretty justified- people make decisions for him constantly and he doesn’t always have the ability to object because his illness keeps him from following the conversation. he doesn’t even get to kill himself. he dies pointlessly when a villain wants to intimidate his friends during a diplomatic meeting. he gets tricked because the villain knows what his worst fear is and exploits it because they want the powerhouse of the group out of the picture. 

i dunno. i watch my creation get kicked over and over and never get a chance to stand up and walk before he dies and i think to myself, “yeah, that’s about right.” i’m not sure what that says about me. it’s probably obvious to people i roleplay with but i put a lot of my focus on kyral and i don’t like to talk about my preference specifically. 

i guess i worry what people will think if they know for sure that the person i relate to most out of all my characters is a personified natural disaster.

so anyway i was occupied with that for a long time. i had a very late lunch and went out to the grocery store. i had a great time actually- it took less than 10 minutes to get over there and i found most of the stuff i needed pretty quick. coming home was a little tougher because of everything i had packed onto the bike and myself but it went fine. i actually really like getting up to speed on the bike. i feel like i could go anywhere in town that i want!! 

i came home and rested a while. i set up snoopy’s second litter box. the vet told me yesterday to just put a second one right next to her main one. so they are both under the sink and i had to find a different place to put the litter and the disposal container. 

i also did my dishes and bummed around and played some pokemon. the competition is pretty alright. i like how short the battles are because i am less likely to lose my connection during any one of them. i got through 7 or 8 of them in, i don’t know, 30-ish minutes. i made myself dinner, burned it because i forgot i’d left it on the stove (i didn’t have enough water in the pot when i put in the pasta because i’d left it boiling for too long beforehand), and then i gathered my classical mechanics materials and biked out to campus. it takes 25 minutes to get to the physics building, which is actually the average amount of time it takes to get there on the bus in the mornings. and the time it takes to get home... i spend a lot of time waiting at the bus stop.

i stayed there for a little over 2 hours and didn’t even finish one problem even though i worked on it the whole time and didn’t even get distracted with tumblr or anything. so now i have 10 problems to finish tomorrow... but i told suzanne i was proud of myself because this is the first problem i’ve made all of my own headway on. like, i haven’t had to directly reference anyone else’s homework to make progress. suzanne asked what i did for the quantum assignment i’d just turned in and i said “oh, i forgot about that.”

i joked that i am really getting moving now, and i am able to learn this stuff, but i just can’t do it as fast as the professors want. suzanne laughed and said she never understands the course until a few weeks after the semester ends. everyone in the office agreed with that. 

i don’t consider looking up the concepts on the internet to be directly referencing my classmates’ homework because looking stuff up on the internet is really hard. i have to figure out what key words to use in order to get the concept i’m looking for, and then i have to figure out what kind of notation they’re using, and then i have to follow the math and reason through it and try to figure out if it’s correct or not, or look up other stuff that gets used in the proof. i feel like that’s more under the umbrella of “research” than “asking classmate how they got the answer.”

i really don’t have time to do that tomorrow though, i might have to attach myself to suzanne like some kind of horrible leech until both assignments get done. i also gotta upload all the grades from last week and do the grading for this week... and the next quantum is due on wednesday, and i need to do some e&m homework before monday. so, also tomorrow. 

and i didn’t clean the apartment today because i was in The Writing Bubble. well, i did the dishes... i hope mopping won’t take too long. the floor really needs it. it’s still got little marks from when i came home after walking through a storm and dripped dirty water all over the place.

ok, anyway, i wanted to go to bed at 10:30 to try and get up early tomorrow but now it is 10:50 because i was rambling about how i do homework and why it’s ok to do that. i haven’t written much here in a while it feels like. 

i am... feeling a little better today health wise. i was still sniffly but when i woke up my nose was at least dry. and getting winded while out on the bike helped clear everything up a lot too. nothin like jumping off your bike and right into a nice coughing fit!

oh i bought saturnz barz finally because i’d forgotten about it for a while. that song is great. i love 2d’s voice. i wish i could sound that tired of life when i sing.