#also i could definitely see how that would jive ???

[meanbossart]

ASK COMPILATION ABOUT THE WEIRD DROW

Replying to a couple of shorter questions! Sorry that I can't get to all of you lest this blog just turns into a stream of constant asks, but I read all of your messages and to be honest there are several that I'm saving to draw something for 😭 alas there are only so many hours in a day.

Thank you for all the support and interactivity as always!

He takes fairly good care of things he considers important or useful - otherwise he's pretty messy or at least indifferent to mess. Definitely a "leaves the wet towel on the bed" guy LOL

Okay so I was bad and not used to DnD mechanics or spells the first time I played the game, so I RARELY ever cast Speak With Animals and had very little sense of their personality during his campaign - BUT THERE WAS THIS ONE TIME WHEN I DID.

THERE WAS ONE TIME WHERE I REMEMBERED.

AND IT WAS PERFECT.

He adores and most of all respects this intense little guy with his whole heart.

[MORE UNDER THE CUT]

Serious answer: he respects wild animals far too much to try and make one into a pet.

Non-serious but still true answer: He would never do that and have to deal with Astarion's incessant Drizzt Do'urden joke comparisons for the rest of his existence. That's that man's personal hell.

He's fairly adaptable! But as far as dynamics go, he does lean bottom regardless of who he's with in bed, but this doesn't necessarily translate into always being on the receptive end of things.

If he were to be with a cisgender woman who doesn't wear a strap like its a second pair of briefs, he would be more than happy to be the pitcher the majority of the time. I think the only scenario where he would be dissatisfied is a restrictive one - he couldn't be with someone who doesn't want to enjoy his whole body in earnest, or who can't flip the roles every once in a while. Also, you have to be a little gross. He has probably caught Astarion off-guard with the things he did on a whim/suggested they do more than once. All in all, as long as whoever he's with is versatile and not a prude, they could probably make it work.

He killed Minthara in her lair and all he got was a bear out of it. Good thing killing her was it's own reward!

MAN... Could just be that his story is far too concrete in my brain already, but it's hard for me to see that working. They are both far too out of touch with their emotions and quiet in their demeanor for me to envision a durable romance sparking. Also, DU drow (who has no clue how old he is himself) thinks of Shadowheart as being far too young for him.

There is a mutual understanding between them that there is a barrier that neither of them is willing to let the other get past - and because that is something they both share, they won't, and they might never try. They work so well as friends because of their similarities, but in a relationship I think that would be to their detriment.

Also, I think silver-haired Shadowheart's wants and needs for her future far diverge from DU drow's chaotic lifestyle, ultimately It's probably best for them to make their own paths.

HAHAHAHA LISTEN.... YOU'RE TALKING AS IF THOSE TWO THINGS DON'T GO TOGETHER PERFECTLY WELL BUT IN MY MIND THEY ARE ONE AND THE SAME.

The thing about DU drow is that he might be a bottom, but he's a very... Uh, engaged bottom. He can be as dominant with a dick in his ass as he can be submissive depending on how it jives with his partner- and he's gonna spew some nonsense either way LOL

Either way... I feel ya brother 😔🍑

He did it himself during a dinner Gortash invited him to. At the table. With a meat knife. He was trying to prove a really stupid point/put Gortash off of him.

I have a script for this and I still need to draw it someday! 🤦‍♂️

He doesn't think anything of it now - it's so far in the past and DU drow obviously isn't the judgemental type when it comes to sordid individuals LOL

As a person, however, Astarion likely wasn't the kind of guy that he would have gotten along with, and vice-versa. Sounds to me like he was pretty poshy and did all his misdeeds under the table - DU drow wouldn't have strong feelings about it from an ethical standpoint, but he wouldn't respect it either. Also, DU drow's is practically anarchistic in his political views - soooooo not much room there to be in love with politicians. I'm sure pre-vampirism Astarion would have less than favorable opinions about him as well so the feeling would have been mutual LOL.

ABSOLUTELY NOT HE NEEDS BOTH EYES TO CUT THROUGH FOES he will gladly put Gale on the slab to see what happens though LMAO

[mysterious-moonstruck-musings]

Closed Position: Week 4 (Jive Part 1)

Closed Position Masterlist ||| Main Masterlist Dieter Bravo x OFC (Katarina)

Series Summary: Dieter Bravo, now sober, was looking to change his bad boy image after hitting rock bottom. His team hoped that having him join the nationally televised family friendly dance competition, Dancing with the Stars, would be a good first step, if they can keep him out of trouble. 

Katarina Stamos expected her last season as a professional dancer on the show to go the same as it had for the past thirteen seasons. That all changed when she was partnered with the infamous Dieter Bravo. 

Dieter and Katarina are reluctantly thrown into their partnership and must learn to work together to succeed in the competition. In the process they form a deeper connection beyond the dance floor that neither anticipated.

Chapter Word Count: 12.1k

👉 Warnings: Themes dealing with intimate partner violence, past alcohol abuse, and past drug abuse. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn. Read at your own risk. Dieter Bravo comes with his own warnings.

👉 Chapter Warnings: Dieter being Dieter. Gratuitous use of the "f" word and talk about Dieter’s member. Cat and Plant dad Dieter cuteness. Brief mentions of intimate partner violence (more protective Dieter).

Chapter Quote: "It’s gonna be a real test of your stamina."

Katarina’s POV

I was taken aback by Dieter’s reaction to Alec’s attempted apology. I knew he had been upset about the incident, but I wasn’t expecting an outright dismissal from him. There was, however, a small part of me that was internally cheering over it. No one had ever challenged Alec like this, and he deserved every bit of it after how he had behaved.

I could tell Dieter was upset when he left the staging area, and I wasn’t buying his excuse of not feeling well. I assumed he just didn’t want to be around Alec. Once I was finally able to slip away from Alec to go check on Dieter, I was shocked to find that he was avoiding me. Something told me that he was hiding out in his dressing room. He wouldn’t come to the door, and he wouldn’t answer my calls or texts. After several minutes of asking around if anyone had seen him, Alec found me. He insisted it was time to head home since the show was over because he felt we needed to spend some time together. I was annoyed with his pushy behavior but relented. I knew it was the right thing to do if I wanted to work on our relationship. As I was walking to my car, I could see that Dieter’s was still in its spot, so he definitely hadn’t left.

On my drive home, I tried calling Dieter again. Still no answer. I had a terrible feeling in the pit of my gut that was making me uneasy. I was half tempted to blow Alec off and drive straight to Dieter’s house to wait for him to get home. I glanced in my rear-view mirror as I waited at a red light. I could see Alec in his car behind me. It looked like he was talking to someone on speakerphone. I couldn’t help wondering who he would be talking to right now. The sick feeling I was having seemed to get a little worse with that thought. I suddenly felt like I was making all of the wrong decisions today and didn’t fully understand why.

Once we got to my house, I started making dinner. I had leftovers we could have eaten, but I saw it as an opportunity to avoid Alec for a little longer while he sat on the couch watching TV. I didn’t say much while we ate. He was doing enough talking for the both of us. He made sure to tell me how the “guys” were bugging him about going out tonight, but he would rather spend time with me instead. He also made a point to say he was avoiding them so he wouldn’t be pressured into drinking. If it was actually true, then good for him, but honestly, it sounded rehearsed and disingenuous. It felt like he was trying to say all the right things to placate me. At this point, I felt so jaded by him, I realized that I couldn’t really believe a word he said. Why did I do this to myself? I had an out. I should have taken it. 

When we were finished eating, I did the dishes. Then, without a word, I went to take a shower, locking the bathroom door behind me. The shower lasted way longer than it should have, but the warm water was soothing and worked the tension out of my body. My mind wandered back to Dieter. I couldn’t understand why he was ignoring me like this. It was so unlike him. 

I stood under the shower head, frozen in place as I stared at the wall, thinking back to the previous week. The time that I had spent with Dieter outside of the dance studio had been so refreshing. I quickly realized that I liked being with him while doing mundane things. He always seemed to be in a good mood and genuinely seemed to enjoy his time with me. Even doing something as simple as going to the pet store with him was enjoyable and honestly, had my stomach in a flutter the entire time. 

That feeling only intensified when he asked me over to his place. A little voice in my head told me that going over there might not be a good idea, like it was stepping over some invisible line that had been drawn between us. I entertained the thought for mere seconds before charging over that line without looking back as I agreed to his plans. 

That voice shouted at me once again when I saw the incoming facetime call from him as I was lying in bed that night after leaving the pet store. I wasn’t expecting him to call after sending a text to check in on the new cat food. I hesitated, watching it ring for what seemed like an eternity before finally accepting the call. I forgot my words as I took in his appearance. It looked like he was shirtless, and his hair was more disheveled than normal, like he had been tugging at it with his fingers. I briefly wondered if it would look like that after I ran my hands through it, or would it be worse? We both silently stared at each other through the screen for several seconds before he spoke up and finally snapped me out of my trance.  

As usual, he kept me laughing during our call. Dramatically complaining about the cat tree he was struggling to put together. I offered to help him with it before I even realized what I was saying. He propped his phone up to free his hands and give me a wide view of what he was doing. Who knew that watching a very attractive shirtless actor put together a cat tree could be so captivating? I kept getting distracted by the soft waves of hair hanging down over his eyes as he worked, or the way the muscles in his arms and chest would tighten as he pushed down on and twisted the screwdriver, or the way his gym shorts would ride up his thighs when he would squat down to pick something up. 

Fucking hell Kat, this is not the time to be getting hot and bothered. The guy is avoiding you. I huffed, feeling frustrated with myself for allowing my mind to go down that path right now. It probably didn’t help that I hadn’t actually done anything to scratch that itch in a while. 

Once out of the shower, I got ready for bed. I was still feeling a little worked up, so when Alec crawled into bed behind me and began to suggestively rub my back and kiss down the side of my neck, I gave in. Turning my head to kiss him as his hand roamed my body, eventually slipping down the front of my shorts to rub at my center. I wiggled against him, attempting to guide him to the right spot, but failed. Jesus Christ, this guy needs a fucking map and a compass. How is he still this clueless? Out of frustration, I grabbed his hand and guided him to where it needed to be. He mistook the action for eagerness, pushing my hand away and telling me that I could come when he was ready for me to - that he was going to take care of me. Like that's gonna happen at this rate. It seemed more like a half-assed attempt to please me just so he could get what he wanted. 

The longer he went on doing whatever the fuck it was he was doing, the more my mood soured. I could tell he was getting frustrated that I was taking too long. I could have faked it like I often did for his sake, but instead, I stopped him. Suggesting that we just go to bed, citing that I was too tired from the long day of filming and that it was making it hard for me to fully get into it. He wasn’t happy about it, but agreed, turning over to shut off the lights as he settled in on the opposite side of the bed.  

I wasn’t sure how much longer I could do this with him. His actions didn’t align with his words most of the time and I still couldn’t trust him. Also, he fucking sucked in bed. At one time, I had been willing to overlook that, but now it was beyond frustrating. Especially since it seemed more about his needs rather than both of ours and his unwillingness to try and make it better for me. 

I laid there in silence, listening to Alec’s breathing deepen and eventually turn into soft snores. I couldn’t help letting my mind wander back to Dieter. I really hoped he was OK. The more I thought about it, the more upset he seemed. There was something about the look in his eyes that scared me. Did something else happen that I didn’t know about? I really hoped he hadn’t been triggered by something that was possibly threatening his sobriety. 

My mind began to file through the memories of the last few days. Particularly our evening together at his house. It was now clear to me that he was a very sensitive person. I could tell that from being in his home, among his things, his paintings, and after seeing the way he cared for his plants and Zee. I briefly wondered if perhaps his feelings for me were evolving like mine seemed to be for him. It felt like there had been some serious tension between us that night. I had even caught myself flirting a little, and he was possibly reciprocating it. The way he had looked at me and touched me as he was getting into the cabinet caused my breath to catch in my throat. In that brief moment, I considered what it would be like to grab him and kiss him, but the moment passed as I somehow managed to talk some sense into myself.

There were several things that he had said to me that day that seemed to be flirting, but this was also Dieter Bravo we’re talking about. The man did not have a filter, so it was sometimes hard to tell if he was just being his cocky self. Maybe those two things are one and the same for him?

My mind then drifted to thoughts of his paintings and drawings. They were all so amazing. He really was talented and seeing the transformation his artwork had taken since he became sober really struck a chord with me. I could see the changes in him through his paintings in particular. I was honestly shocked he had allowed me into his art studio and what he called his “sanctuary”. They seemed like very personal spaces, and he gave me free reign to look through them. It was clear that he trusted me, which meant so much to me. 

What I did not expect was to find that he played the guitar. I shocked myself when I moved to share that part of me with him. Alec hadn’t even really seen it. That was a part of me that I locked away after my dad passed, mostly because it just brought up too many memories. They were happy ones, but hard to think about just the same because I didn’t have him here to play and sing with anymore. 

It felt good to pick up that guitar. It felt even better when Dieter did the same and started playing. I didn’t hesitate to join in on the song, singing along as he played. Then eventually joining in on playing too. I was almost dumbfounded when he started singing. Was there anything that beautiful man couldn’t do? He sounded amazing. His voice was smooth like honey, so raw and expressive. I was completely mesmerized by him, staring into his soulful eyes as he belted out a verse. I could feel his voice vibrating throughout my entire body as we connected in a way I had never connected with anyone else. It was this moment that had me reevaluating my entire life. It felt like there was something between us that I couldn’t begin to describe or understand. Then the spell was broken, and he suddenly seemed distant - mentioning how late it was.

I brushed away those new feelings at that point, telling myself that it was nothing. Yet, I found myself feeling oddly protective and jealous when Anika of all people asked him to go out after the show. It wasn’t so much the protectiveness that surprised me, but the jealousy. I realized at that point that this was becoming a problem because I had no right to feel that way. I was technically still with Alec and Dieter was not mine. I got all in my head about it after that, reasoning with myself that it had more to do with protecting his sobriety than anything, but now I’m starting to realize that may not be the case. I care about him, deeply. 

Since the beginning, we had a natural chemistry when dancing together. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced with a partner, including when Alec and I first got together. At the time, I didn’t think it could get any better than that. But with Dieter, it was something else entirely. I couldn’t explain or understand it. Every week it had only gotten more intense, and it didn’t show any signs of slowing. I couldn’t ignore it anymore or deny how it was making me feel. 

It had been obvious to me that I found Dieter to be physically attractive, but it was quickly turning into so much more than that. Every trait that I found lacking in Alec, be it personality wise or emotionally, Dieter had. He was quickly helping me realize what I wanted and what I needed to be happy, and he gave it all so willingly that it was hard not to fall for him. Is that what this was, me falling for him?

I think part of me had known all along, but I was too afraid to admit it. I found myself wondering if he was feeling it too. Surely his subtle flirting wasn’t all in my head. Not that any of it mattered, I still had Alec and I had committed to giving him one last chance. So, there was no reason to even be thinking about any of this. 

I glanced over at the clock, I had been laying here for an hour with my mind swirling with questions and analyzing every interaction Dieter and I ever had. I really needed to get to sleep. I checked my phone one last time, still no response. I sighed, then closed my eyes, finally dozing off. My last thought was of Dieter, hoping he was ok.   

 Dieter’s POV

When I woke up on Tuesday, I felt like shit after having stayed up half the night painting away my feelings. It was the first time I had painted since training had started for the show. It felt good, even though I really needed sleep. I wasn’t even sure what I was painting until an hour into it. Staring at the curves in brilliant red and light bronze tones surrounded by meshed shades of dark blues, pinks, purples, and white, I realized it was Kat that I was looking at. A view of her from behind, wearing that red dress as she danced with her arms raised. Of course it was. I had declared her to be my new muse after all. Her curves and the way her hips moved had been haunting my thoughts since day one. It was only a matter of time before images like this started pouring out of me onto the canvas. I was honestly shocked it had taken this long. 

The paint slowly transitioned from an abstract mesh of colors to a more realistic dreamy appearance as the image solidified in my mind. It wasn’t my usual style, but I didn’t hate it. I was about to start adding in the finer details when I realized how late it was. I called it a night and made it to bed around 2 AM, but it still took me another hour to fall asleep. The 7 AM alarm was quickly approaching, which only made me more anxious in my attempts to doze off and exacerbated the sleeplessness. Once Zee curled up at my side, her soft purrs and comforting presence eventually eased me into an unrestful slumber.

When the alarm did finally go off, I awoke feeling groggy and discontent. My emotions were all over the place, creating the urge to talk to someone about it before I spiraled into darkness. I could feel those old cravings lingering in the back of my mind, waiting for me to slip up. So, I pulled up Dr. Smith’s contact information and typed out a quick message asking if I could see her sometime today, preferably this morning. My weekly meeting was already scheduled with her for the following day, but I couldn’t wait. I needed to see her today. Sensing my urgency, she was able to schedule me for 10:30 AM, which meant I would have to skip out on my early lunch with Kat. It was probably for the best because I wasn’t sure if I could handle being alone with her and still carry a conversation without turning into a sulking puddle. At least during rehearsals, I would have the dancing to focus on rather than her and how she was still with that asshole. 

I spent a few minutes cuddling Zee, listening to her purrs and quiet mewls of appreciation for the scratches I gave her. With a loud huff, I finally drug myself out of bed and headed for the shower to get ready for our weekly production meeting. I was in no mood for Stacia and Joe’s bullshit this morning. I stood under the hot stream, silently hoping they would keep things professional for once. If they started pushing their “romantic relationship” agenda again, there was a good chance I may snap. I couldn’t handle it today.  

I didn’t even bother to dress nice like I normally would. Really, what was the point? I was going to rehearsals after the meeting anyway. I opted for black sweatpants, a fitted gray t-shirt, hat, and glasses instead of contacts. At least this casual look wasn’t ratty looking with holes and stains for once. It was more on the stylish sportswear side than anything. 

Once I was dressed, I quickly made Zee’s breakfast, grabbed my gym bag, then headed out the door toward Television City Studios. I stopped on the way for my usual cup of coffee. I second guessed getting Kat’s usual order, silently berating myself for acting like a lovesick puppy as I waited in line. As I exited the building with two to-go cups in hand, I noticed paparazzi hanging around and snapping pictures. It’s too fucking early for this shit. Why are they even here? I sighed, trying my best to ignore them as I walked the short distance to my vehicle. 

Minutes later, I entered the lobby of my destination. My eyes immediately scanned the room to find Kat. I didn’t see her. My shoulders dropped at the realization that she wasn’t here yet. She was always early. My mind jumped to the memory of Alec asking Kat to let him come home with her, so he could “show her how sorry” he was. My stomach turned. I felt sick all over again as I moved to sit in one of the cushy chairs and sat the two coffees down on the nearby end table. 

After looking around the room for a few minutes, I pulled out my phone to scroll through Instagram. Several posts from the Dieter and Kat hashtag filled my feed that included pictures and videos from the Latin club. I knew how it felt when we were dancing that night, but I hadn’t considered how it looked. It did not look like two friends hanging out and having fun. Instead, it looked like two people eye-fucking each other while getting a little too up close and personal on the dance floor. Did we always look like that? Is this what Alec saw that had him so angry? I could see why he was upset, but that still didn’t give him any right to treat Kat the way he did.

My scrolling was interrupted by Kat breathlessly rushing in like she was running late. I glanced at the time, our meeting wasn’t scheduled to start for another ten minutes. She sank down in the seat beside me as she blew air out through her cheeks. 

I raised an eyebrow in her direction, “Everything OK?” I asked. 

She rolled her eyes, “Yeah…I just feel frazzled this morning. I overslept and it went downhill from there.”

“Long night?” I bit the inside of my cheek, already regretting my question. 

She sighed, “Not really. I mean, I had to put up with Alec and his snoring, but I also just couldn’t sleep. I had a lot on my mind.” 

I realized she was avoiding my gaze. Her eyes were looking everywhere but in my direction. I leaned forward in my seat, into her line of sight. Her brow furrowed as she looked me over.

“Whatta bout you, are you ok? I was worried after you left last night. What happened?” 

I shrugged. Now it was my turn to avoid her gaze, “I just wasn’t feeling well. I guess it finally hit me after the adrenaline rush wore off.”

She pursed her lips, “Why didn’t you answer any of my calls or texts? I was half tempted to drive over to your place to check on you. Are you sure you’re good?”

Wait. Does she think I relapsed? “I’m sorry, my phone was on silent. I didn’t see your messages until late. I didn’t wanna wake you. I’m fine. I promise. I was just feeling a little nauseous.”

She chewed on her bottom lip as she continued to stare at me for a beat, “You look tired, did you get any rest?” 

The way she was looking at me literally took my breath away. All I could manage was a shake of the head before clearing my throat and reaching for her coffee on the table beside me. I needed to change the subject, “I got you some coffee. Sounds like we both need it.” 

She took it from me as she mumbled a quiet “thanks”. Her eyes focused on the cup in her hands for a time. Her brows knitted together, indicating she was deep in thought. I hated seeing her like this. She seemed conflicted or frustrated about something. I sat back in my seat and sighed, propping my chin on my hand and staring out a nearby window. I could sense a weird tension between us now and I hated it. Or was that all in my head? I wasn’t sure. 

When I turned back toward Kat, she was staring at me. Her lips were slightly pursed, and her brow arched as her eyes took me in.

My brows drew downward as I gave her a nervous smile, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

A smile tugged at her lips, “I’ve never seen you in glasses or a hat. It’s just different…”

My brows now shot up into my hairline, “Is that bad? I know I look like a slob this morning…” 

She shook her head, “No…it’s not bad at all. I actually like the glasses. I prefer the soft and wavy hair look, but I could get behind the hat too. It's growing on me.”

My face heated from her words. I couldn’t tell if she was teasing me or hitting on me. As I gave her a look of what I’m sure was confusion, we were interrupted by a production assistant letting us know Stacia and Joe were ready for us in the conference room.

Stacia and Joe greeted us from their seats behind the large table with their usual sneaky smiles. It never failed to amaze me how they always looked like they were up to something. Once we got through the pleasantries, Joe got down to business, a sly smirk still on his face.

“Since you two are one the favorites this season, we wanted to check in with you about your social media posting. We’d like to see you posting more behind the scenes stuff to create some buzz for the show.” 

I snorted, “So, you want free promotion? Is that what you’re saying?”  

Kat sighed beside me and sunk down in her seat. 

Stacia smiled, “Didn’t you read your contract? You’re obligated to do certain promotional activities. Social media posts are one of them.”

I rolled my eyes, “Yeah, but we’ve made a couple of posts. I’m pretty sure the contract doesn’t say how much or what type of stuff we have to post.” 

Stacia’s smile widened, “You’re right. It doesn’t give specifics. It says it’s at the discretion of the executive producers. Consider this to be our discretion. We want more posts from you two…from rehearsals or if you happen to be hanging out for lunch…or whatever, just snap a pic and post it. It doesn’t have to be a big deal.” 

I glanced over at Kat, her nostrils flared as a crease formed between her brows. It was obvious to both of us. They were still pushing their agenda, though they were being less obvious with their intentions. They knew all they had to do was create the perception that something was going on between us. Even if it was a subtle one, it would still have the intended effect with viewers. 

I could feel the anger rolling off Kat, but she stayed quiet beside me. They had us backed into a corner on this one. 

I sighed, “Alright, fine. More social media posts. Got it.” 

They both smiled smugly at us, having won that argument. Joe tapped on the table, “Alright. Good. So…the next thing is, we’re gonna start shooting some backstage footage during the live show going forward. It will help fill some of the airtime as couples are voted off. We just wanted to give you a heads up on that because there will be cameras in the staging area and maybe even in hair and makeup too.” 

My mind briefly drifted back to how Kat and I had stood together with our arms around each other to watch the other performances during the last show. Then there was our pre-performance ritual too. Stacia and Joe had noticed it, I just knew it. They wanted to get it on camera for the world to see because it played into their agenda. I suddenly felt like there wasn’t anything that we could do that couldn’t be twisted to look how they wanted it to. It was frustrating and pissed me off. We couldn’t even just enjoy our time together and be friends without it being twisted into something else. 

Neither Kat nor I said anything in response to this new development, but I could sense she was feeling the same as I was about it. Her tense body language told me everything I needed to know. Once Stacia realized we didn’t have any comments on that, she started shuffling through her binder, for I assume, the mockups of our costumes. 

“This week we’re doing a 50’s theme…so all of the music and costumes will be inspired by that time period.”

She slid the drawings over to us. They had Kat in some short black high-waisted shorts, a black and white striped shirt, and a 50’s pin-up model hair style. Mine was the typical white t-shirt, jeans, and leather jacket of that era with slicked back hair. 

“We have you guys scheduled to do the Jive to Jailhouse Rock. Do you have any objections?”

Kat again didn’t say anything, she just shook her head. I did the same as I slid the mockups back toward Stacia. 

Not much more was said between us after that. Kat and I soon found ourselves exiting toward the lobby. We were silent most of the way. She finally turned to me when it seemed we were away from everyone, “Do they think we’re that fucking stupid? I know what they’re trying to do.” 

I shrugged, “Yeah, but it is what it is, I guess. Not much we can do about it. They’re gonna do what they do.” 

I hated what they were doing as much as her, but honestly, it wasn’t the thing that was really bothering me at that moment. Seeing Kat so angry about being associated with me romantically felt like another punch to the gut, even though it shouldn’t. She was engaged to someone else for fucks sake. She should be upset about it. It wasn’t like anything had actually changed between us. I was just being delusional. 

I watched as Kat sighed and ran her hand through the top of her hair out of frustration, “I don’t understand why they can’t just let things happen naturally and stop forcing this shit. It’s not fair to us.” 

What the hell does that mean? I stared at her, unblinking and confused by her words. Her eyes widened slightly, “I just mean, they shouldn’t force cast members into situations is all I’m saying. It’s an asshole move.” 

I nodded along, agreeing with her half-heartedly. I felt so confused. 

She chewed on her cheek for a beat, then shook her head, dismissing the conversation all together. “You’re right. It doesn’t matter. It’s not worth our energy to worry about it…” She paused, then sighed before continuing, “So, where do you wanna go for lunch today? There’s a diner…”

I held up my hand to stop her, “I’m sorry…I can’t have lunch with you today.” 

Confusion clouded her features and she looked almost…disappointed? She frowned, “Why not?” 

“I-I…have an appointment with my therapist.” I paused, watching the look on her face change to one of concern. I suddenly felt like I needed an explanation. “It was the only time our schedules lined up this week…I go once a week.” Stop fucking rambling, Bravo. She seemed relieved now that she knew it was a routine visit, even though it really wasn’t.  

“Oh…you didn’t have to tell me all that. It’s good to hear your going though.” 

I forced a smile, “Yeah…so I’ll see you after that. I may be a few minutes late though…because of traffic.” 

She nodded, “That’s fine. No big deal. You want me to pick you up some lunch then?”

I shook my head, “Na, I’m good. Thanks for the offer though.”

The way she was looking at me made me feel almost uneasy. I felt like she could see right through me, like she knew what was going through my head. I’m sure it was just my paranoia about her realizing my feelings toward her, but that thought didn’t make it any better. 

I looked down at my watch, “Oh shit, I need to go. I’ll see you in a bit, yeah?” She gave me a small smile as we said a quick goodbye.

A short time later, I sat down in a chair in front of Dr. Smith as she asked what was going on. I was fidgety, rubbing the tops of my thighs nervously as I thought of the best way to explain it all. I thought it best to start with the events from last week, filling her in about how Kat and I had gone to the club then the subsequent incident that took place with Alec after. She listened intently as I explained how I had been worried about Kat’s safety and what an asshat Alec is. I paused for a beat, trying to decide on the best way to explain everything after that when she interrupted my thoughts with an unexpected question. 

“Did seeing that bring up any feelings or memories related to your parents? Is that why you’re so upset?” 

Honestly, my past family drama hadn’t even crossed my mind. I shook my head, “No…I mean I guess it did in that I know what those types of people are like. It makes me worried for her safety.” 

Dr. Smith stared at me, she looked confused. 

“I’m in love with her,” I blurted out. No sense in sugar coating it at this point. 

Her eyes widened, “Well…that escalated quickly.” 

I shook my head, “No, not really. I’ve had feelings from day one. I only just realized what it was yesterday when she agreed to give that asshole another chance. After our time together last week, I really thought she would tell him to fuck off.” 

“Your time together? What do you mean?”

I realized I hadn’t gotten to that part yet, so I launched into it. Detailing our trip to the pet store, the facetime call, dinner at my place. The vibes between us and how it was making me feel. All of it. 

“I know a relationship isn’t the best idea right now because I need to focus on my sobriety, but I swear this is different. It’s not an urge for a casual hookup…like…I want to be with her, and I don’t mean that in a sexual way. I want all the mundane domesticated stuff too.” 

Dr. Smith sighed, “Can I be honest with you?”

“Of course!”

She leaned forward, “I had a feeling this was coming. I’m a fan of the show, so yes, I’ve been watching. It’s obvious you two have chemistry. That’s why I keep asking about her. The fact that you were avoiding the topic told me that something was going on inside that brain of yours.”

Damn, I knew that would come back to bite me. 

“I am a little shocked to hear all of this has been going on. Her situation is concerning, but she’ll have to make the decision to leave on her own. The best you can do is continue to offer her support and hope she comes around.”

I started rubbing at the back of my neck, “But what am I supposed to do about how I feel? I’ve never felt like this about anyone before and the whole situation is giving me anxiety. I think I almost had a panic attack last night.”

Dr. Smith clasped her hands under her chin as she thought through her next words, “I’m torn about how to approach this…because I do worry about codependency. Especially if she’s currently in an unhealthy relationship and has been for that long. It could cause some unhealthy habits between the two of you.”

I shook my head, “No. It’s not like that with her. I’m confident that’s not an issue. I mean…we tend to look out for each other, and she would totally call me out on my shit. Everything is different with her. I don’t know how to explain it…Her dad was sober after struggling for a while, so she gets what I’m going through with that. She’s been very supportive.”

Dr. Smith nodded and pursed her lips as she took in my words, “Maybe you should tell her how you’re feeling.”

She said it like it was the simplest thing in the world. Like it wouldn’t completely change everything between Kat and me. 

“What if she doesn’t feel the same way though? It will completely ruin our friendship. And…I don’t want to put her in that situation. She’s engaged to someone else…remember?”

She sighed, “Dieter, I’m not really sure what you came here looking for. I can’t tell you what to do about the situation. The only thing I can help you do is to work through your feelings. It’s clear you have strong feelings toward her. My main concern is you and if it’s causing an urge to use again.” 

I puffed air out of my cheeks, “I mean…I had a brief moment this morning where I thought it would be nice to be numb to it all. That was the main thing that prompted me to come in. I just wanted to talk it out with someone. It was the first time I’ve had that thought in weeks…I’m just a fucking pansy who can’t handle any kind of feelings.”

She gave me an admonishing look, not approving of my negativity toward myself. 

“Sorry…but it’s just facts.” I added.

“Dieter, you are perfectly capable of handling it. You just need to learn how. You’ve made so much progress already…I hope you realize that. I would expect you to have a hard time with something like this. It’s new and different. So, don’t be so hard on yourself. This is all part of the human experience and completely normal emotions to be having.”

I nodded. She wasn’t wrong. I had come a long way from where I had been. The old Dieter probably would have relapsed and never even made it to the first rehearsal. Or if he had made it this far, he would have completely gone on a bender last night without a second thought. I did need to give myself some credit. 

I sighed, “You’re right. I have made progress. I’ll do better to think more positively about myself in that respect.” 

She smiled, “Good. Now, how do you plan to deal with this going forward? I can talk you through that.” 

I shrugged, “I guess…I’ll play it by ear and see what happens? Nothing has really changed. I’m just not really sure how to act around her. I don’t feel like I can be as open with her knowing she’s back with that douche bag. I think I just got my hopes up…ya know what I mean?”

Dr. Smith nodded, “I feel like that’s a good way to deal with it. It sounds like you two do have a good friendship, so try not to let this come between you as far as that goes. I do think she’s been good for you in that sense and as long as you’re managing your expectations you can handle it. For now, just focus on being a supportive friend to her. Maybe that will eventually pay off.” 

My time with Dr. Smith was up soon after that. I did feel a little better after having talked it through with someone. It made me feel a little less crazy for the reaction I had - to know that it was actually normal emotions that I was experiencing. At least I had a plan with how to go forward. I just hoped I could stick to it without making an ass of myself or causing issues for Kat. 

After leaving my appointment, I stopped for some fast food and ate in the parking lot. My mind kept wandering to Kat no matter how hard I tried to focus on other things. The thought of her going home with Alec the previous night was eating away at me. They had clearly spent the night together. It was making me feel sick all over again. I ended up trashing half of my greasy ass food before heading over to the studio to get started on this week’s routine. 

Kat had already started working on the routine while she waited for me to arrive. She didn’t make a big deal out of my appointment, which I appreciated. Only asking if I was feeling ok. Somehow, I got the sense that she knew I was completely full of shit about why I suddenly had therapy this morning. I just hoped she hadn’t figured out the reasons for it. 

We started the way we always did, by listening to our music arrangement and discussing what we wanted to convey with our performance. Then Kat moved into teaching me the basics of the dance since it was new.

“So, the Jive is a little different and is one of the more difficult dances because of the quick footwork. In ballroom it’s considered to be a Latin style dance, however, it’s also part of the swing dance family too. It’s known for its upbeat energy and requires high knee lifts and a lot of hip swinging. It’s gonna be a real test of your stamina.”

I raised a brow at her, and she chuckled. Seriously? I was tempted to make a joke but refrained.

“So, we’re gonna be using both open and closed positions for it. We’ll be doing a triple step with downward leg movements. You have to be sort of bouncy with it. On the finish, legs should be straight with an upright posture.”

She did her usual demonstration as she explained it. She wasn’t wrong, it did look a little more complicated. Even more so when she did it at the speed in which the dance required. It took me a bit to get the footwork down, but I finally caught on. We spent the rest of the afternoon planning out the routine, though I wasn't very engaged. I was unusually quiet and unable to focus on anything other than Kat being with that asshole. From the way she kept eyeing me, I knew she could tell something was up. I hoped that she wouldn’t ask, because I couldn’t lie to her if she asked point blank. Thankfully she didn’t. 

The hours seemed to pass by quickly once we finally got into a groove. My sour mood didn’t abate, but at least I was able to focus on the task at hand. Once our studio time was up, I said a quick goodbye to Kat and moved to leave, instead of waiting around to walk out with her. She didn’t give me a chance to get out the door before calling out to me. I took a deep breath before turning to face her as she approached and placed her hand on my arm. 

“I’m not gonna ask how you’re feeling again…but if you need anything…please call me. I don’t care what time it is. OK?”

The worry in her eyes nearly broke me. It was obvious that she truly cared about me. I would never question that. I felt a lump forming in my throat as I considered telling her everything, just so she wouldn’t worry. I looked away, clearing my throat before speaking. 

“I promise, I’m good. I’m just…working through some things.”

She nodded, the sad look still in her eyes as she released my arm. I gave her a small smile and pulled her in for a side hug. I couldn’t leave her looking like that. It seemed to do the trick as she appeared more relaxed when I pulled away. After another quick goodbye, I headed out and went home.

After having leftovers for dinner, I spent some time checking in with my plants. As I was painting the previous night, I noticed that Goldie, one of my large hanging Pothos plants, was looking a little withered. Now that I thought about it, I couldn’t remember the last time I had actually watered her. I had moved her to the art studio away from Zee and sort of forgot about her hanging in the corner. Realizing that I had potentially neglected the viny greenery made me feel like shit. After providing just the right amount of hydration from my rainwater collection barrel, I spent a good hour clipping back the stems and gently dusting each of her leaves. It made me feel better to watch her perk up before my eyes. It also helped me relax and gain a little mental clarity about everything. 

As I had said to Dr. Smith, nothing had really changed about our situation. Kat had never split from Alec. Therefore, there was no reason to try and patch up the wall that was slowly being chipped away between us. There was nothing wrong with us getting closer as friends. Though, I did have to weigh any emotional trauma that might come with that. However, I reasoned it was worth it if that meant keeping Kat in my life long term. Even if it was only as friends.  

After checking in with the rest of the plants in the art studio, I got ready to go to sleep. Zee was already in bed waiting for me when I came out of the bathroom. It had become sort of a nighttime ritual to have some cuddles before we both zonked out. 

Since I had met with Dr. Smith a day earlier, we canceled my Wednesday appointment. That meant I had the entire morning to do nothing until our evening rehearsal time. I took advantage of it and did not set an alarm - allowing myself to sleep in for once. Not that I got to sleep in too much later. Zee was on a schedule that she would not let me forget. It was nearing 9AM when I felt her pounce on top of me and meow loudly in my face. Which was just as good because I was almost positive I was having a dream I shouldn’t have been having about Kat. My morning wood corroborated that thought. 

After groaning and grumbling loudly, I finally got out of bed and made my way downstairs to make Zee’s breakfast. Once she was finished, she hopped up on her cat tree and indulged in her favorite pastime, bird watching. I rolled my eyes and shook my head as I passed by her to go back to bed. After settling back in, I grabbed my phone for some morning social media scrolling. 

Since following the ‘Dieter and Kat’ hashtag, my feed was now populating more and more posts related to us. I ended up going down another rabbit hole, looking at videos of our past two performances and behind the scenes rehearsal clips for the first time. There was no question about it, the chemistry between us was off the charts from the start, and not just while we were dancing. I almost didn’t recognize myself watching the way I interacted with her during the rehearsal clip from last week. I figured this is what people mean when they say you have hearts in your eyes. I looked like a lovesick fool. 

I sighed, “Fucking hell, Bravo. You’re down bad, dude.” 

I let last week's rehearsal clip play again, this time focusing on Kat. It was different seeing things from an outsider’s perspective. Seeing it like this made it obvious that Kat had the same energy toward me. I knew she wasn’t like this with other people, not even with Alec. The way she looked at me sometimes when we were dancing hadn’t gone unnoticed by me. However, to see her body language and the way she looked at me when I wasn’t paying attention was a whole other can of worms. I watched her watching me while I was focused on my foot work. Her eyes were sparkling as they roamed up and down my body, a small smirk playing on her lips. Then she would move in to correct my posture, pushing between my shoulder blades or change the positioning of my arms. Most would probably assume she was just minding my form, but some of her touches were lingering and even unnecessary given that she could provide verbal corrections. 

Seeing this made me realize that Kat was definitely into me. It’s no wonder Alec was so worried. The sparks were there for the world to see even though we were doing our best to keep them from turning into blazing flames. It felt almost inevitable at this point. A part of me felt pretty damn smug about it. The other part made me even more concerned that Alec would do something incredibly stupid. My only hope was that he would have a major fuck up and make Kat realize she needed to dump his ass before anything bad happened to her. 

I continued down my rabbit hole, clicking hashtags for the show to see where they led me. I eventually came to a post with the hashtag ‘Dieterina’. I snorted, busting into laughter over it. We officially had one of those cheesy celebrity couple names. Kat was going to love that. I briefly wondered what she would do if I used it on a post but thought better of it. For now, anyway…

My scrolling activities were briefly interrupted by Zee jumping on the bed and rubbing her face against my hands for pets, nearly knocking the phone out of my grasp. Once I got her situated beside me, I continued scratching her with one hand and scrolling with the other. Her soft purrs filled the silence as I dug further into the ‘Dieterina’ posts. It seemed we had a lot of shippers who enjoyed sharing screenshots of our performances. Shots that were timed just right to look as intimate as possible. I had to admit, we looked amazing together. I now understand why Stacia and Joe were all over it too. It seemed to be a big fucking deal, even with us trying to avoid it. 

I sighed and dropped my phone on the bed beside me, turning to Zee to cuddle her fully. 

“There’s something there, Zee. I fucking know it. I’m just gonna bide my time and wait for that asshole to fuck up again. I know he will. He can’t help himself. When he does, I’m gonna be there for her…and I’ll tell her how I’m feeling when the time's right. For now…I’m just gonna go off her vibes, like I have been.” 

Zee nuzzled into my chin, mewling quietly in response. Her presence helped calm me. It was almost like she knew that I needed it. I was suddenly thankful that this little menace had forced her way into my life. Having her here was a huge positive impact on me mentally. I wondered if she knew? If she could sense it? Is that why she wouldn’t leave? I pondered that thought as I dozed off again.

I woke up a little after noon, shocked at how well I had slept after falling back to sleep. I felt refreshed and ready to deal with whatever the rest of the day brought. After taking a quick shower and throwing on shorts and a t-shirt, I headed to the dance studio for our afternoon rehearsal time. I was surprised to find Alec in our studio space when I entered. It looked like they were just finishing up with a late lunch. I gave Kat a small wave and tight smile as I moved to the empty chairs at the opposite end from where they were. She looked guarded as she returned the wave, her eyes following me as I moved to set my gym bag down. I was completely aware of Alec’s gaze as his eyes shifted between Kat and me with a self-satisfied look on his face. 

I tried to busy myself with looking for nothing in my bag while they told each other goodbye. I just happened to glance over as Alec leaned in to kiss Kat on the cheek. A cocky look overtook his features as he stared me down through it. Like he was asserting his ownership over her and rubbing it in. Fucking asshole. Kat on the other hand seemed tense, not really leaning into his embrace. Why is she doing this to herself? I don’t understand.

Alec made sure to announce rather loudly that he would see her later this evening. He wanted to make sure I heard. Clearly his attitude hadn’t changed any. Kat watched him leave with a stony face before turning to me and smiling. It was so easy for me to tell that it wasn’t a genuine smile. I could read her so well.

I gave her a half-hearted smile in return. I couldn’t fake it like she could. Her smile faltered, she could read me too. 

“Dieter…have I done something to make you mad at me? I just feel like you’ve been a little closed off toward me the last couple of days.” 

I sighed, “Mad…no. I could never be mad at you.” 

Her brow furrowed, “There is something though, right? What is it?”

I gave her another tight smile, “You really wanna talk about this right now? I’m sure I don’t need to tell you.” 

She shook her head, “No, I wanna hear it. Say what you have to.” 

I blew air out through my cheeks, “Fine. I’m not mad, I’m disappointed.” 

Anger briefly flashed in her eyes, “Why?”

I scoffed, “You really have to ask? That asshole physically assaulted you and treats you like shit. I’ve had people like that in my life and I know what they’re capable of. I don’t want that for you. I don’t want you to get hurt…because believe it or not, I do actually care about your well being.” 

Her eyes widened as she placed her hands on her hips, “Is that the only reason?”

What exactly is she asking me? The question took me by surprise, and I didn’t really know how to answer it. No, it’s not, but I can’t say that. I stared at her wide-eyed, “D-Do I really need another reason? Just because we’re friends doesn’t mean I have to like him or approve of it. You’re my only concern in this. He can fuck off.”

Her face softened, she looked conflicted for a moment before finally responding, “I’m sorry, you’re right. You have every reason to feel that way after what you saw. I think I’m taking my frustrations out on you, and I shouldn’t.”

She rubbed her hand through the top of her hair, a nervous habit of hers I noticed. 

“Do you regret your decision?” The question was out of my mouth before I had time to consider it. 

A sad smile tugged at her lips, “Am I that transparent?”

“To me you are…Why did you do it?” 

She chuckled, “Oh…you know me, I believe people can change when given the chance. I’m tired though…all I do is worry and wonder what’s coming next. I think I’m just starting to realize that’s never gonna go away with him…but, I promised him one more chance and I’ll stand by it.” 

“Just promise me you won’t let it get bad…that you'll tell me if you need anything.” 

She reached up to cup my cheek and smiled. This time it reached her eyes, “You’re too good to me. I don’t deserve it, but I’m glad.”

I couldn’t help leaning into her touch for a brief moment. I felt like there was more she wanted to say but couldn’t. I reached to grab her hand from my face and held it between both of mine, “You deserve the world. You shouldn’t be punished for his shortcomings.”

She nodded, agreeing with my words. The moment felt a little too intimate. She chuckled suddenly, turning away and mock wiping sweat from her brow, “Whew, did we just have our first argument? I don’t like it. Let’s never do that again.” 

I laughed loudly and pulled her in for a side hug, burying my face in the top of her hair as I spoke, “I think it was more like a mild disagreement…and I don’t like it either. I’ve missed you.”

I felt her arms snake around my waist and squeeze gently. We sat like that for a beat too long, causing the tension to return between us. She loosened her grip but didn’t let go of me as she raised her head to meet my gaze, “We should probably actually rehearse at some point today.” I chuckled and nodded in agreement. 

We got to work after that. The vibes between us quickly shifted back to where they were before. I was right, nothing had changed. We had picked up where we left off. Although, it did appear that a few more chips had fallen from the imaginary wall that separated us. 

This rehearsal turned out to be rather productive even though we had a bumpy start. We had the choreography completely figured out by the end of it. The routine was fun and full of energy. Kat kept joking about putting my loose hips to good use and opening with some of the signature Elvis gyrations. I finally gave in. It sent us into a fit of laughter as she showed me how to do it properly. That was how we ended the day, and I was thankful for it. I had missed hearing her laugh like that so damn much. You’d have thought it had been years instead of a couple of days since I heard it last. 

As we were gathering our things to leave, Kat paused and turned to me. “What are your plans for dinner?”

I shrugged, “Probably leftovers, why?”

She rolled her eyes, “Well if it’s leftovers you cooked, it’s probably better than what I was about to suggest.”

I gave her a cocky smirk, “Maybe not. What did ya have in mind?”

She returned my smile, “There’s this little mom and pop diner about ten minutes away that I’ve been wanting to try. It’s Greek, but they have typical diner foods too.”

I rubbed my chin, pretending to be in deep thought. “I GUESS I could give it a try…” I said sarcastically. Kat laughed and shoved my shoulder lightly. 

“Jerk.” 

I cleared my throat, “Is that really a good idea though? I don’t want Alec to get pissed about it.” 

She sighed, “He can get mad if he wants. I’ve already told him to get over it. Again, I’m not doing anything with you that I haven’t done with my past dance partners.”

I gave her a cheesy smile, “Yeah, but none of your past dance partners were hot.” 

She snorted, “Valid point. Let’s go hot guy, I’m starving.”

Does that mean she thinks I’m hot? Her response shocked me a little. I expected a snarky come back, not that. I followed behind her toward the parking lot in a daze, opening the doors for her as we went. I ended up following her to the diner since I had no idea where we were going. We were parked outside the place within minutes. She gave me a shy smile after she got out of her car, walking over toward me so we could go inside together. 

We were seated across from each other in a booth near one of the front windows, thumbing through the menu in silence and stealing glances at each other. She pursed her lips, fighting a smile when I caught her staring over the top of her menu at me. 

“So, what are ya gettin?” she finally asked. 

“Hmm, I dunno, this place has a little bit of everything. The pasta is looking pretty good.”

“Would you like an appetizer? I kind of wanna try the Spanakopita, but that looks like a lot.”

I chuckled, “I don’t even know what the hell that is…” 

She laughed, “It’s like a Greek spinach pie in a flaky pastry crust. It’s really good with tzatziki sauce…usually.” 

I wrinkled my nose, “Spinach pie?” 

“It’s not as bad as it sounds…my grandma used to make it all the time.” She had a faraway look in her eyes now, seeing some past memory as a sad smile tugged at her lips. It obviously meant something to her. 

“Well, then…we have to try it.”

Her eyes lit up, “Really?” I nodded. Then she gasped dramatically, clutching her chest. “Oh. My. God. They have baklava too! I’m gonna feel miserable when I leave here.”

I snorted out a laugh, eventually managing to ask what baklava was. 

“It’s a dessert…like a pastry, I guess? Smothered in honey.” 

“Mmm, that sounds good actually. You’re right, I think I’m gonna be miserable too.” 

She smiled up at me then, her eyes sparkling with excitement. 

“Now that I know you like Greek food so much, I’ll have to learn to cook some stuff for you.”  Oof, that might have been too forward. 

Her smile widened. Maybe not.

“Dieter Bravo, I told you, don’t make promises you don’t intend to keep.”

I chuckled, “I told you I’d cook for you anytime and I enjoy learning new dishes. Besides, I’d love to have you back over. Zee says she needs some more girl time anyway.”

Kat squinted at me, like she was trying to figure out a puzzle, but was interrupted by the waitress coming to take our order. After I asked several questions to narrow down my choice, I settled on the Pastitsio pasta bake and Kat got a Gyro with lamb. Of course, we also got the Spanakopita to share for an appetizer. 

As we sat waiting, Kat was distracted by something outside. She stared for a moment before mumbling a low “fuck” under her breath.

My brows furrowed, “What’s wrong?”

She huffed, “I think there are some paparazzi across the street.” 

I turned to look in the direction she had been. Sure enough, there were three standing there using long lenses. 

It was my turn to huff, “What the hell? They aren’t usually hanging out at a place like this.”

“You think they followed us from the studio?” 

I scratched at my chin, “Had to…How else would they know to come here?”

She sighed, “I really hope this doesn’t become a thing. It’s so fucking annoying… can’t even eat in peace.” 

I gave her a tight smile, “I’m sorry, I’m sure it’s because of me. They’re just dying to catch me doing something the old Dieter would have done…waiting for me to fail.” 

I felt her leg nudge against mine under the table, she didn’t pull it away. It made it hard to focus on anything else but the heat of our bare calves touching. 

“Hey, you’re not that person anymore, so fuck them. Just ignore it.” 

I managed a small smile in response before we were interrupted by the waitress bringing our drinks and various condiments. I turned my attention to the waitress, “I don’t want to be a bother, but can we close the shade?”

The woman gave me a puzzled look. “There are paparazzi out there taking pictures.” I added. 

Her eyes widened, perhaps realizing who we were for the first time. “Absolutely, I can. Would you rather move to a booth in the back? We have one that’s away from everything…it’s more private.” 

Kat and I both shook our heads, “Na, I think just closing the shade will be fine…thank you for the offer though.” 

She moved to the empty booth behind me so that she could reach the cord and lowered the window covering. 

“There you go. Let me know if you guys need anything else. Your food should be out soon.” 

She gave us both a warm smile as she walked toward the back. 

I shook my head, “Now, let’s see if a sneaky pic of us shows up on their social media later.”

Kat rolled her eyes, “Geeez, I hope not. We might as well not go anywhere at that rate.” 

I gave her a toothy smile, “All the more reason for me to cook for us instead.”

She nudged my leg again, peering up at me through her lashes in that way that always takes my breath away, “I’m holding you to that.”

I narrowed my eyes and gave her a cocky grin. The look that passed between us was…something else. I’m not even sure how to describe it, but it definitely made my dick twitch. I finally cleared my throat to break whatever was happening between us, then reached to take a drink of my water just to have something to do so that I wouldn’t get lost in her eyes. 

“Speaking of social media…” I finally said as I sat my glass back down. “Have you been paying attention to anything related to the show on there?”

Her eyebrows arched as she shook her head, “No, I try not to get on there too much. Why?”

I chuckled, “Well, we officially have a hashtag now.”

A crease formed between her brows, “What? What do you mean?” 

I had to work to hold in my laugh, “You know, those cheesy celebrity couple names? We have one now.”

She rolled her eyes, “Seriously? You’re joking. What is it?” She moved to take a drink through her straw.

“Dieterina.” 

She nearly choked on her water as she started laughing, “You have got to be fucking kidding me? Really? Surely there’s something better than that? That’s just…no.”

I had to stifle my laugh, she had the exact reaction that I expected from her. 

“I dunno, I mean there are only so many combinations you can do with our names. Kieter? Is it first names only? If not…then Bravos? Stamo? Bramos?” 

Kat was trying to hold in her laughs now, “OK. OK. They’re all cheesy. There’s no win here. I can’t…” She continued to laugh as she tried to catch her breath. It was a glorious sight. 

“I think imma start using that on our Instagram posts…just to be a punk.” 

She shook her head and threw a napkin at my face, “You will not. You might go missing over that one.” 

Our appetizer came out soon after that. Kat wasted no time digging in, groaning at the taste of it, and getting little Bravo’s attention in the process, like always. At this rate, I had a feeling that was an issue I would have to take care of when I got home later. I must have been gawking at her like a perv because she froze as her eyes widened. She moved to cover her full mouth with her hand as she spoke, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

I tried to play it off, laughing slightly and shaking my head. “No reason…just watching you make a fool of yourself. I take it that it’s good?” 

She shoved what was left of her half eaten spinach and cheese filled triangular shaped piece toward my mouth, “Yes. Try it. Now.” 

I laughed, “Geez, so bossy.” I didn’t think twice about what I was doing as I leaned forward and took a bite from the same side she had. She watched me intently, waiting on the edge of her seat for my reaction.

“Well?”

My brows arched upward, “Hmmm. Not bad.” 

She scoffed, “Not bad? Are you kidding me? I mean, it’s not as good as my Yaya's was, but it’ll do.”

She popped the rest of the piece I had bitten off of into her mouth, then gave me a cheesy smile. 

I loved her like this. She seemed so relaxed and carefree. I also loved that she was sharing bits of her life with me. It made me feel more connected to her somehow. 

“How was your Yaya’s different? Maybe I could figure out how to make it like hers.” 

Her eyes rounded, “Gosh, I don’t even know how to explain it. I can’t pick out different flavors. It was a little creamier maybe? Or had another type of cheese in it? And maybe some type of herb? I’m not sure. Maybe my sister might know…” 

“You have a sister? Older or younger?” I asked. 

“Three years older…she lives in North Carolina. I don’t get to see her much.” 

I started munching on my own triangle of spinach pie. “Does she look like you?” 

She nodded, “Very much so.” 

I gave her a sly grin as I arched a brow in her direction, “She single?” 

She scoffed, “You better be fucking joking.” 

I started laughing, “I am. One hundred percent joking.” I only want you. 

She rolled her eyes at me, not amused in the slightest as she pulled out her phone. After tapping at it and scrolling, she showed me a picture of herself hugging a girl who looked very much like her. I took a moment to look at it, mainly focusing on Kat the entire time. She looked genuinely happy in that shot. 

“So, you’re the hotter sister. Noted.” I gave her another sly grin before returning to my appetizer. 

I could feel her eyes on me, but I didn’t dare look her way. I knew I was pushing the boundaries with that line. I was afraid to see how she had taken it. 

Luckily the rest of our food arrived at that moment, breaking whatever tension my comment had caused. After getting our dishes situated on the table that almost wasn’t big enough, we dug in.

“Oh. My. God. You have to try this!” Kat mumbled through a mouth full of food. She held the Gyro over to me for a bite. Clearly, my comment hadn’t bothered her too much. I leaned in for a quick nibble. 

“Damn, that is good. I’m getting that next time.”

I started cutting into my baked pasta dish and took a quick bite of the cheesy goodness. “Mmm, maybe not. That’s pretty damn good too. You wanna try it?” 

“Oh, yes please!”

I slid my plate toward her, she didn’t hesitate to pick up my fork and take a bite. I don’t know why that was such a fucking turn on, but it was. 

She leaned back in her seat, “Fuck. That’s good too. This might be my new favorite place.” 

I snickered, pulling my plate back over in front of me. “So, how come you didn’t bring Alec to try this place with you?”

She sighed, “He’s not a very adventurous eater and doesn’t really care for this kind of food. I figured you might appreciate it more.”

I was a little stunned. What an asshat. “So…let me get this right…he’s engaged to marry someone with a Greek heritage, but he doesn’t want to make an effort to experience it with you?” 

She chewed on the inside of her cheek, now staring down at her food. I don’t think she had actually realized that until now. 

“It’s not something I’ve ever really pushed with him to be honest. I’m sure he would try it if I asked…maybe.” 

It was my turn to nudge her leg with mine, leaving it against hers like she had done to me earlier. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” 

She shook her head, “No…I mean, you’re not wrong. He’s really not. He’s not very supportive in general. That’s something I really should think on.” 

Man, fuck this guy. At least it seemed like she was beginning to see where he was lacking. Hopefully that was a good sign. 

I changed the subject after that, shifting to sharing Zee’s antics instead. That seemed to cheer her up some. That topic carried us through the rest of our meal until the waitress asked if we wanted dessert. Kat groaned, “I’m so stuffed, but I really want some baklava. You wanna split a piece?” 

It was my turn to groan, “Ugh, I guess. You may have to roll me out of here though.” 

Kat laughed before confirming our order with the waitress. After the waitress gathered all our other dishes, she left, but returned quickly with one piece of baklava and two forks on a small plate and placed it between us. I realized this sort of felt like a date. Not that I had been on many dates to compare it to, but I imagined it wasn’t far off. It was a little weird given the situation, but it still made me want this with her, for real, even more.

The dessert was good, unfortunately. Which caused Kat to resort to making her moaning noises again as she ate. When she wasn’t moaning, she was licking the fucking honey off the fork. It was a new form of torture.

As we were finishing up, the waitress brought our bill. I grabbed it off the end of the table to pay. Kat grumbled but finally relented and allowed it. Soon after that, we were getting into our respective vehicles to head home for the evening. The paparazzi were still hanging around, so we opted for a smile and wave to say goodbye. Heaven forbid we get close to each other.

The whole ride home, the evening replayed in my mind. The way she kept looking at me. The way it felt to have her leg touching mine through most of the meal. The way she looked licking that fucking fork before sticking it in her mouth. I felt my dick involuntarily twitch. 

“Fucking hell. Looks like I have something to take care of when I get home.”

Next: Week 4 (Part 2)

A/N: As you can see, this is only part 1 of week 4. If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm shit at judging the length of chapters based on my outline. 😂 So, yes, you will be getting a part 2 very soon. I'm shooting for posting next week. It's basically done. I just have a little bit left for the ending and proofing...and maybe some fun edits. It will probably end up being around the same word count as this one (maybe a little less). It will also mostly be Kat's POV. Why? Because we will be getting Alec's major fuck up. There may be a little bit from Dieter at the end, we'll see how I end up wrapping it up. Once again, we have a lot going on in week 4. Dieter is going through it after finding out Kat has given Alec another chance. Are we yelling at these two to figure their shit out yet?

We of course had more nonsense from Stacia and Joe. We will get more from them in the second half too. They are pulling all sorts of strings behind the scenes.

We also had some breadcrumbs about Dieter's history. How are we feeling about that? How do you think it could have affected him? How could it affect things going forward?

We also got a little more Cat/Plant Daddy Dieter in this one. Swoon!

Please do share your thoughts and predictions for the second half. You know I love it when you guys yell at me and jump into conspiracy theory mode!

💜Mysty

The video for this chapter is a fun little Jive to Tina Turner’s Rolling On the River. Enjoy!

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@pedrostories

[badsassitude]

The Boyfriend: In which Shun is not not-jealous. (Deep Dive Part 3/3)

Enter Ikuo, who through no fault of his own became the catalyst for lots of jealousy and big insecurity in Shun.  

Ikuo brings change to the existing dynamic of the Green Room. He’s young and confident, with high energy and a vibe that jived with Dai. To add insult to Shun's insecurity, he also seems interested in hanging out with Dai.  

Let me add here that Dai isn’t doing anything wrong. Read that again. I could, definitely go off on a tangent (and may at some point) at all the negativity towards Dai when the man is truly not doing anything wrong.  We are not responsible for how others respond to us.  Dai was interested in Shun from the beginning.  He has made active efforts to pursue Shun and make his interest clear, he has communicated openly and directly (ie, he expressed to Shun that he would like Shun to be more open about his feelings in ep 3, he spoke to Shun directly after the overnight date didn’t happen in ep 5), and when Shun set a boundary he handled it maturely and respectfully and didn’t turn into a great big passive aggressive dick.  Go Dai. During the FRIENDS ONLY PERIOD in which Ikuo joined the show, Dai engaged and responded to Ikuo in the same friendly and welcoming way he has with EVERYONE (which by the way is probably what ultimately netted him THREE letters in episode 1).  I don’t see that Dai could have reasonably been expected to behave any differently toward Ikuo than what we saw in the show.  I also noticed that he attempted to check in with Shun in a directly indirect way during the group beach day (ep 6).  Remember, Shun said 1) I don’t like to be pursued aggressively until I am dating that person, and 2) he just wanted to be friends.  Dai can’t be more direct in asking Shun about his feelings while also being respectful of the boundaries Shun set.  Dai can wonder if Shun is having feelings, and very clearly does.  He is looking at Shun and checking for a reaction, and giving him the opportunity to say something.  Shun doesn’t.

This is an area where I see a lot of negativity about Shun’s behavior, and the jealousy we see as Dai and Ikuo interact.  Let’s consider the context – Dai has dialed back is pursuit of Shun, resulting in Shun feeling more comfortable and instead of having to pull back to protect himself, Shun is actually able to comfortably reach out and engage Dai more.  At this time Shun’s feelings are growing, he’s probably starting to feel a little more comfortable and confident – and I bet money that if a date selection had happened before Ikuo came, that Shun may very well have put down Dai’s name.  I think the connection and intimacy between them likely would have continued to grow.  Even while watching Dai and Ikuo, Shun is demonstrating a level of faith in Dai’s sincerity and feelings for him. (ie, his declaration that Dai will pick him.)  But then we see those negative thoughts get louder and his low-self esteem perk up (damn jerkface brains always being negative) – he starts thinking maybe Ikuo is better for Dai. Meanwhile, he starts pulling back behind those walls, shutting down and disengaging.  Deep down he’s spiraling and he’s hoping for reassurance and comfort from Dai. He needs Dai to initiate it, but ironically, he also may not be able to tolerate it even if Dai does. Anxious attachment is a beast y'all. Meanwhile poor Dai is in an impossible position, because he doesn’t KNOW what is going on with Shun.  He can clearly see Shun is upset, but Shun isn’t talking, and Dai can’t push too much without risking violating the boundary Shun set.

For me, what we are seeing is a misalignment of needs that are not clearly understood and are not able to be clearly expressed.  Can it be exhausting? Yes, absolutely. It can be painful and exhausting both to have an anxious attachment, and to love someone with anxious attachment. Is it fair to Dai? No, of course it’s not. And, it’s not done intentionally or maliciously.  Shun is like a porcupine – he wants to be loved, but his quills poke anyone who gets too close.  Because nobody can/will get close to him, he continues to believe he is not worth it, that he will never be loved the way he wants.  So he curls in on himself, his quills sticking out in all directions, wanting to be held but also keeping the people who want to get close away.  

Public service announcement: Loving someone doesn’t obligate us to accept their behaviors. Understanding the wounds that may have guided and shaped someone’s behaviors, doesn’t give them a pass. Sometimes no matter how much we love someone, no matter how much we empathize and understand that they are doing the best they can or are loving us the best way they know how, we can’t both meet them where they are and be healthy in the relationship at the same time. Sometimes in order to love ourselves, we have to take a step back.  But other times, with empathy and understanding, and a genuine desire to love and a willingness to do the work from both sides – bridges can be built.  Change is possible, growth happens, and we can develop secure attachment bonds – even if it takes extra work and effort.  

Shun is likely doing the best he can with what he knows how to do. His life history has taught him that vulnerability is dangerous, that he has to be the one to protect himself. I truly wish for him that instead of judging him for the dance he is doing between staying safe and being vulnerable, I wish we could all have more compassion and empathy.  Instead of being so quick to judge, make an effort to understand.  When vulnerability is met with empathy and compassion, magic happens, and we have the opportunity to foster growth, change, and connection.

I’m really excited to see what the next episodes bring. The preview flashes we have been given since episode 1 show us that Dai and Shun don’t stay in the friendzone we ended episode 6 with.  I fully acknowledge that I am out here on Delulu Island with my predictions - both for the next couple of episodes and the end game. I also acknowledge I might be completely full of crap and all of this is in my head. But hey, thanks for coming to my TED talk. 

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

[elrielffs]

I've stated I would read an Elucien book and I would if only for Elain but I would definitely be done with SJM after that considering how bad HOFAS was and then the build up for Elriel not coming to completion. (Also the lack of build up for GA/EL in general and super super disinterest in Gwynriel as a whole.)

But I was wondering why Elucien just doesn't interest me. Like, I don't hate Elucien despite Lucien not being a character I'm particularly interested in but I don't hate him.

I think it's cause of the theories I've seen or how their story could possibly go.

Most of them focus solely on Lucien--Elain going to the human lands and becoming friends with Lucien's friends, Elain supporting Lucien during his parentage issues, Elain supporting Lucien while Autumn Court is explored--for Lucien's benefit. They would become High Lady/Lord of Day or Spring or they would become emissaries and hold balls and be social butterflies in the Human Lands etc etc

And I just...don't jive with that.

Is there someone in the Human Lands that can teach Elain about her Seer powers?

How will she utilize any of the Trove if she's half way around the world?

How will she conquer her mountain if she's not near it?

Besides the fact that it's mostly Lucien oriented, I don't like how this removes Elain for her family and generally, the center of the plot. Yes, for the book the plot would be centered on Lucien and Elain but then we would pivot back to the Night Court for other books.

Because that's where the story will always come back to. That's where the most powerful characters and most of our MC's reside (All the IC and side characters). That's where most of the plots will take place--in the future crossovers and other plots that have been hinted (Dusk, Illyria, Hewn City etc).

And Elain will be removed from it. Sure, she could always be summoned/travel to the NC but she would not be in the middle of the action, she would be an after thought to the story either as HL of a court having to see to the needs of her court or being in the Human Lands doing stuff that we would see in flashes and letters or something.

It also removes her from her family. We get that her sisters and the IC coddle her. The answer isn't to just leave and be done with them but to show them that she is more than she currently allows.

Elucien is the path of least resistance for Elain--get with your mate, don't repair the relationship with your sisters, wash your hands of others instead of confronting the problem and yourself. Boring to read and shows no growth for the character of Elain.

I want more for Elain. I want Elain to remain in the center of the plot, in the action. I want Elain to be a major player.

Not a side plot off page. Not a sentence of Elain reporting from wherever she is.

Present. Powerful. Important.

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck ch.212 thoughts

[Crowd Pleaser]

(Contents: criticism - pacing/cast utility, character analysis - Kururu, predictions - Kururu's character arc/Unchaste's development)

Just to get this out of the way, I completely understand why so many people are underwhelmed and even disappointed with this chapter. I definitely agree that it's not one of Tozuka's better chapters, but I don't think that this is an indication of Tozuka being disinterested in what he's writing or not knowing how to wrap up the arc

With how rushed it felt and UU's placement near the back of the magazine in the last few weeks, I think it's more likely that this was an editorial decision, that readers weren't really jiving with this plotline and were hoping for something more action-packed

Personally, I'm of the camp that feels what this arc was missing was a focus on Kururu, not a focus on action. I do personally greatly appreciate characterization for Kaede and Raita, but there was absolutely room to give Kururu more without sacrificing the two of them. In fact, this chapter, if it were split in two, could have had just enough time to do that in a way that I think most folks would have been satisfied

At it's core, two things happened in this chapter: Kaede vs. Kururu, and Raita's confession to Kaede. If this chapter had been focused entirely on the former, it would have given greater depth to the emotional stakes from their perspectives. We got a glimpse of this from page 1 with a flashback to when Kaede refused Kururu's offer to go pro with her (also I was right, the agency DIDN'T ask for Kaede, Kururu recommended her), so I think that instead of showing how the song was affecting Raita here, the bulk of this chapter could have been better served focusing on Kururu's mentality

If we got more flashbacks as to how Kururu got to this point, how she met Kaede, got scouted, felt abandoned, searched for what she was missing, culminating in how she met Soul, I think that would have gone a long way to fleshing out her character. The weight of Kururu's resolve to win her own way rather than relying on Soul or Unchaste would have been much greater if we knew the struggles that led to her holding such an ideal, and we'd be that much more invested in seeing her overcome Soul's influence and embody said ideal

From there, I think the chapter could either have ended with Kururu firing Unchaste at Raita, OR with Kaede's scattershot. Either of which would have created a solid cliffhanger, with the former building tension as to how the gang would react and resolve this crisis, and the latter raising the question of what significance this action holds. We'd know it means something, but we'd have a week to sit with it and ruminate on what it says about Kaede's character and how it would alter the outcome of the battle rather than having it explained immediately

Then of course the following chapter would be the aftermath, which would have more time to explain the events from Kaede and Raita's perspectives, followed by a few pages dedicated to their words resonating with Kururu and allowing her to reconcile what she's seeing with what she's been through. I have no doubt that Tozuka intends to do something like that next week (or at least I really hope he does...), but until I see the fruits of his plan, I definitely feel like I'm left wanting for one more scene of Kururu and Kaede talking out their differences and Kururu moving past the lie she believes

I am somewhat hesitant to lobby all of these criticisms at this chapter simply because of the possibility that it will get cleared up next week, but this is a weekly series, and the immediate response is just as important as the gestalt, at least for now, so I won't hold back just for that. My main point is that Tozuka has the chance to put all of this right, but if he just moves past it without hesitation, I will definitely be disappointed

The other major issue with this arc is how it highlights a lack of utility in its cast relative to previous arcs. The Under men getting dragged onto Kururu's team was not utilized during the performance at all, and the girls teaming up with Kaede was only tangentially touched upon when it could have been used as a way to get more insight into Kaede and Kururu's past. It isn't hard to see how Kaede giving some of her lines to Latla would mirror Kaede stepping aside to let Kururu go pro on her own, so that could have been a great opportunity to flashback to that moment or something else emblematic of their differences

Then there's Julia, who was silently given an Unchange barrier to keep Fuuko from triggering Unluck by bumping into Kaede, and she didn't even sing at all! I didn't even notice the thing about the barrier until I saw people talking about it on twitter! Splitting up the chapter would have given more opportunity to go over background details like that without needing to relegate it to an omake, and the extended cast could feel more involved rather than incidental. Aside from pointing out that Fuuko stopped fading, Julia didn't even get a line this entire chapter and exclusively made surprised faces. I know Tozuka is saving her for something bigger, but there has to be something more to do with her in the meantime!

Anyway, I really don't want to spend this entire review kvetching, I think that the fandom as a whole is kind of already doing that, so let me try to focus on some positives

As I said, the two most important things in this chapter are the competition between Kaede and Kururu and the love between Kaede and Raita, which are (understandably) portrayed simultaneously because Kururu's goal is to supplant Kaede in Raita's (and the audience's) eyes. While Kururu does in fact win the competition, Soul's plan ends up failing specifically because he has Kururu put her focus on Raita rather than the performance, something that Raita knows the woman he loves would never do

When Kaede rushes to Kururu after the show, she says "you're not acting like yourself." Kururu's behavior was not only incongruous to Raita, it was incongruous to Kaede. Just like Kururu could not trick Raita into seeing her as his lover, she can't trick Kaede into seeing her as her enemy. Ultimately, this means that the weakness of Unchaste, and by extension Kururu's weakness, is her inability to be genuine and show her true self to others. She cannot reap the rewards of being loved because she has yet to submit herself to the mortifying ordeal of being known, despite being a famous, public-facing idol

This furthers analysis from last week, that the thing Kururu is missing is the ability to make herself vulnerable and truly be seen for who she is. I would like to have gotten an understanding of what she thought she was missing before the battle ended, but I am glad that the results seem to be consistent with my interpretation thus far

Considering that Kururu is currently being kidnapped by the Union, I think it's fair to say that her character arc hasn't concluded yet and that she won't just accept that she's been recruited. Fuuko still needs to convince her that they're on the same side, and possibly free her from Soul's influence assuming that he has any left on her (and I bet he does), so we're definitely not too far past the point to be able to get that characterization, even if the Unchaste Arc has concluded (though I'm not quite sure it has just yet)

Fortunately, Fuuko is the perfect character to make a point about being genuine to Kururu. Not only is she Kaede's child, providing Kururu a way to project her insecurities and biases onto Fuuko, but Fuuko has made a deliberate point of presenting herself as she is to the rest of the Union in the past. When she went to recruit Void, she absolutely refused to present herself as anyone or anything other than herself as a way of taking responsibility for altering the natural course of their lives

Kururu, through the current Unchaste, is doing the exact opposite; where Fuuko refused to alter people's perceptions or memories, Kururu forces herself into their memories and makes them perceive her as someone precious to them. Fuuko has to earn people's attention, respect, and love by being herself, while Kururu steals those things by pretending to be someone else

The problem is that Kururu can't keep up the act. She relies on the victim's feelings to carry the load and keeps going as normal, not realizing that the inconsistencies between her presentation and the victim's expectations supersede her hypnotism. This is how someone like Andy would be able to overcome Unchaste, because unless Kururu can figure out how to perfectly replicate Fuuko's character, he'd notice the difference instantly

Lies have a way of piling up, and contradictions will eventually become too large to ignore, so honesty really is the best policy. I don't know for sure if that's the lesson that Fuuko will need to impart to Kururu next week, but I think there's a very good chance that it will play a part since they're so clearly diametrically opposed on that particular issue at the moment

This also provides two interesting avenues for how Kururu can level up Unchaste further:

She can become more irresistible by being herself and adding herself to her target's soul rather than replacing someone else within it

She can read her target's soul to understand what kind of person they love and use her talent for hiding her true self to replicate the target's love

Which way it goes will be dependent on what point Tozuka wants to make with Kururu's character, whether she's wrong to present herself as she does, or if she's wrong that she's missing something and that she should cultivate her talents rather than trying to fill a void that isn't even there to begin with

After this week's chapter, I really hope that I'm right and that Tozuka isn't done with Kururu yet, because I truly believe that this arc is still perfectly salvageable. Even if the arc is done and Kururu's character will need to be revisited during a different arc and not immediately next chapter, Tozuka has made it clear that he's capable of delaying character development and still making it compelling (i.e. the entire concept of L101, Feng's reappearance during the Language fight, etc.), so at worst, I would expect this arc to be saved retroactively

If anyone is worried that Tozuka is falling off or anything silly like that, I ask that you be patient and remember that he's rarely, if ever, let us down before. He's earned my trust several times over by now, so I at least will continue to have faith, even if things don't go the way I'd like them to

Until next time, let's enjoy life!

[stoic--rose]

just finished persona 1, spoilers under the cut

alright now that we've weeded out all the JOKESTERS, i loved this game, i love the characters, story, surreal atmosphere and setting, all that jazz. that being said those last few dungeons, ESPECIALLY avidya world, gave me so much heartache and grief, since grinding wasnt a mindless task i could just zone out to, since some of the encounters have enemies that either null or reflect magic or guns, so you have to be conscious of what's going on in the battle, and it just drove me up the wall near the end. that being said, the 7 hours of endgame grinding really paid off when i got to absolutely stomp pandora into the pavement with heiroglyphein. one of the most liberating feelings ive ever gotten playing an rpg. also, i dont think i like persona's demon system. i wish that you got the actual demon itself like you do in normal smt, rather than these stupid cards, and im especially not a huge fan of the fact that theres persona rank, persona level, and the persona's level, it was mad confusing and it took me until literally the final dungeon of the game to fully understand it. i also feel like ranking up personas takes WAY too fucking long, and the encounter rates are pretty crazy in places like the overworld map.

next, specific comments on the psp version, i didnt jive with the alternate soundtrack at first but it definitely grew on me over time. and some songs like bloody destiny absolutely fuckin kick ass. still not used to the original names though, nanjo will always be nate to me. also wasn't a huge fan of the new world map at first, since i do prefer the janky ass 3D overworld map of the ps1 version aesthetically, but i think that the new 2D map is just a lot better from a gameplay standpoint, it's a lot easier to navigate and you don't get lost as easily. sorry cate, gonna have to give this point to the psp version........ i also do GREATLY appreciate the skip feature they put into the battles, i played up until about the end of the sebec building in the ps1 version before just giving the fuck up because of how damn slow the battles were, it drove me nuts. after seeing how much grinding i ended up doing at the end of the game in my playthrough, i know for a fact i would have just given up if i kept going with the ps1 version. that being said, i think i definitely want to give the ps1 version another shot at some point, i kinda love how shitty the localization is, stuff like that is always fascinating to me

final playtime was 147:18, which is probably the longest time ive ever spent on an rpg just beating the main story, not going for anything like 100%. played on normal mode, took the SEBEC route, brown was my chosen party member. overall, i really loved persona 1 and will definitely be playing it again. im especially excited to check out the other routes, although i might do my other playthroughs on easy mode just to save my sanity. i did my time, i beat this game with no save states or fast forward on an original psp, i earned this

[shepherds-of-haven]

So I had a question. Would Lavinet (and Prihine I suppose) ever consider retiring from the political game? Every future ask I’ve seen has her furthering her political career, so would she ever choose to just settle down and live the quiet life? Okay maybe not completely quiet because that’s boring, but at least something that involves less mental games?

Personally, my Shepherd hates politics and all the scheming and intrigue, but I understand it’s a pretty important part of Lavs identity so I don’t want to take that away from her either. Thanks!

Hi there, sorry if this is disappointing, but Lavinet's entire identity and ambition in life revolves around becoming a politician and learning to wield political power for the betterment of all, so she will never willingly give that up. That's a dealbreaker for her, and she would additionally be deeply unhappy with "the quiet life": I'm pretty sure she would expect the person she's supposed to end up with to support her in these dreams and ambitions, so if she were asked to retire from these pursuits, it's likely she would choose to break up with them rather than acquiescing! Sorry to be a bummer, lol, I just know she would feel very strongly about it!

I think she would definitely take necessary hiatuses or breaks from "the Grand Illusion" periodically (like if MC was injured and needed to be cared for, or her father was sick and needed her at home, or for maternity leave, etc.), but it would never be a permanent thing in her mind unless truly extraordinarily circumstances occurred (like MC disappeared mysteriously and she needed to search for them, etc.). But being asked to stop because it's something her partner doesn't jive with would be a no-go, unfortunately.

For Prihine, I think it's something she could entertain like years into the relationship/marriage. She never had high political ambitions as a young child like Lavinet did, but now that she's getting a taste for the freedom, independence, and power as Turti Ushala's widow, she's pretty much thriving for the first time in her life, and that would be hard for her to let go. She's also a naturally distrustful and anxious person, so if MC were to ask her to retire, there would be a lot of reservations about it, like, 'What if I retire for them and become totally dependent/reliant on them, and then they leave me? Shouldn't I keep maintaining my own career and autonomy in case things go south?' Once she became more assured that that future isn't very likely (would take a lot of years and likely marriage before she felt truly secure), I think she could be persuaded to relinquish most of that life, but she will always need to maintain some sort of socialite status to be truly happy: she won't want to retire to a small cottage in the countryside and never see any noble or member of the elite again. She can retire to a chateau in the countryside if she's still allowed to host salons and parties and picnics and whatnot: they just won't have very high stakes other than showing off how wealthy or glamorous she and her family are! (It would be like getting a celebrity to retire from making movies and TV shows, but you can't take away her social media, lol.)

So an MC who pursues either of the Naveen cousins is going to have to accept that socializing and entertaining is going to be a part of their lives no matter what--it's just a difference in the stakes, lol. Hope that all makes sense!

[threewaysdivided]

for the ask game: 💥🤔📚

if we can only do one, your pick :)

(Fanfic writer ask game)

💥 What is one canon thing that you wish you could change?

I've talked about some other changes in a previous ask, but I think Danny Phantom could have been improved by either re-writing the episode Memory Blank or at the very least, cutting a couple of the jokes. The base-premise is potentially interesting but it was definitely one of the ones where the show did characters dirty for the sake of jokes.

If I had to leave it mostly as-is, I would at least want to ditch the two random insert jokes where Danny "remembers" using his powers to peep in the girl's locker room. Not only is the base joke a gross, sexist "boys will be boys" gag, it also just feels really jarring and almost out of character for Danny in particular. That's not to say that Danny isn't canonically chauvinistic in other ways at times, but this one doesn't jive with how he reacts to similar situations (and behaviors from Tucker) in other, more character-centric episodes. The abrupt musical punctuation feels more like a sudden insert of Fairly Odd Parents humour and I would say it's probably only there because this kind of "adorkable misogynist" punchline is a common staple in both Butch Hartman and Steve Marmel's comedy styles.

Ideally though, since the main purpose of the episode is to give Danny his marketable DP insignia, I would rather do a full re-write around all three trio members actively trying to design a logo for Phantom. Rather than doing Danny and Tucker dirty by making them into boring butt-monkeys who live empty lives without Sam (and doing Sam dirty by making her seem like a weird stalker who changes Danny's suit without his knowledge or consent) we could have had an episode that let the icon have actual symbolic meaning for the whole of "Team Phantom". It's sad that one if the most iconic symbols of the show ends up being tacked onto a character assassinating goof-story when there were so many ways it could have been great.

🤔 Would you ever want to write something canon if you got the opportunity?

Going to go with a soft no on this one.

For one thing, I believe the best stories happen when someone has a specific story to tell, and at the moment my Deathly Weapons fanfic is the main story I feel the need to make exist. As a mystery nerd, I guess I could maybe do a decent detective story involving Batman or Gotham, but on the other hand I don't think it would be the kind of story Modern DC wants to sell.

From a practical point of view, I also think the things and stories I find the most fascinating within the Danny Phantom fandom would probably be too tonally serious to "fit with the brand" of official canon material. (Although it has been awesome to see some of the Phandom olds getting ascended to the level of official canon creators with the AGiT comics!)

As for Young Justice Animated I think I'm one of several fans who wouldn't mind being tagged-in (or at least a fly on the wall) if DC/Warner Bros ever decided to give it the Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood treatment, kick Greg Weisman's Whedon-worshipping incel ass out the door and let some of the prominent staff who were dropped after Season 1 have a do-over to continue the story they were actually setting up. I think there was a lot of potential in that initial cast, and there were some really cool character-centric standalone episodes that could have come from things like digging into Artemis and Jade having a diegetic connection to Alice In Wonderland while living in the same city as Jervis "Mad Hatter" Tech. But as it stands, I found Weisman's multi-season vandalisation of his colleagues' work to be so egregious that I ended up blocking both the main series tag and his name for the sake of my blood pressure. Look, even when he's not writing like the kind of man who probably fantasises about impregnating his colleague's daughter, the Nostalgia-Critic-level incompetence at basic narrative coherence is just exhausting.

📚 Is there a fanfic or fanfic writer you recommend?

Many!

For today's tasting, I would like to recommend Developmental Milestones and the broader Cor Et Cerebrum series by @audreycritter. Actually, let's just make that a general rec' for all Audreycritter's DC stuff.

I really like their interpretations of the Batfam and Superfam. They do such a good job of capturing the humanity of these characters in their non-cape moments, and I love their approach to dialogue. I think it speaks volumes to the strength of their character-writing that, despite not being a reader who generally goes in for Original Characters, I have become deeply obsessed with their on-call OC Batdoctor Kiran "Dev" Devabhaktuni. He is indeed the light of my life. Developmental Milestones is Dev's focus story but plenty of others put the focus on the canon DC roster if you prefer.

Go enjoy seeing Bruce get yelled at by a deeply affronted, potty-mouthed British Doctor with a heart of gold, though he'll stringently deny it.

Thanks for playing!

[tallochar]

☕️ also, hopes/wishlist/expectations for the next DC cinematic universe, if that's something you think about at all?

I honestly tuned out of DC fairly soon, for the longest time I was more of a Marvel girly (until Marvel burned me out and now I go but I do not emotionally invest into it anymore), and I still have to see ... ugh, so many of their movies.

I went to see the first Aquaman in 4DX (back before my back pain made it so that 4DX is not a viable option for me, first world problems I know but it bums me out that I cannot go anymore without ending up in crippling pain) but that was because it had both Jason Momoa and Temuera Morrison and I am a long time fan of both (and also Jason Momoa going around mostly shirtless and wet? Always going to watch) though I actually skipped the second one because it happened in a moment in RL last year while I wasn't paying attentions to movies AT ALL and so I managed to miss that it was coming out.

I know I should watch if not all of the old movies at least the Flashpoint one (can't remember if it's the correct name or not but I know I will at some point because the unholy squeaking sounds I made when Michael Keaton showed up in the trailer, I can't even begin to tell you).

I have yet to watch anything with Affleck!Batman in it and I kinda want to see his take on the character, but I don't have the spoons in me. I have seen 1 Superman!Cavill movie and it didn't really make me want to watch more.

I have also seen Wonder Woman 1 and from what I remember it was pretty enjoyable as long as I did not engage my brain, but when I did it had some plot holes that bugged me and some stuff that did not fully jive with me but I could not open my mouth about anything less than absolutely blindingly loving it lest I be crucified for it because it was Directed By A Woman [or that was the impression fandom gave me at the time] so I just kept my mouth shut and peaced out.

I had a blast watching the most recent Harley Queen movie, but it's not a BOP movie and it's definitely an Elseworld movie kinda deal to me because that's the only way I could watch it without screaming vengeance over their treatment of Cassandra Cain or most other non-Harley characters involved. Otherwise I would just scream and hate and rage.

I have not watched Joker yet because it strikes me as the sort of movie I need to be in a specific sort of mood to watch or it might really fuck with me in a bad way so I don't know how I feel about Joker Folies Au Deux (or the fact that it seems, from the trailer, to be painting Joker as the one exploited and manipulated into things by Harley rather than the other way around) but like, it feels like A Serious Movie That Might Hurt Me Emotionally because Joaquin Phoenix and it being definitely an Elseworld movie and also I am no, generally speaking, a big Joker fan so -- *shrug and raise hands emoji*

I deeply enjoyed the more recent Suicide Squad right until they killed Rick Flag and then I gasped in pain and wanted to beat Peacemaker's face in (I know his series is good, according to people whose tastes I trust, but HE KILLED RICK FLAG, I am NOT watching it [yet], yes I can absolutely be petty like that) so I am tentatively trusting James Gunn.

I know it's considered more of an Elseworld sort of movie, but I did really love The Batman with Robert Pattinson and I am looking forward to see what they do with a sequel to that and how they move on from how the last movie ended (here's to hoping we don't get too big of a timeskip, I would really love if they picked it up from where it left off rather than jumping ahead).

I am not sure how I feel about the "current canon" Batman movie in the works going with Damian as the Robin in it, but I am being tentatively hopeful about it, because my brain (possibly stupidly but hey I am allowed to dream until I get jossed) keeps thinking it is actually a genius idea if instead of going from Dick forward you jumpstart things by having Damian there and possibly referencing the other former Robins as Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, Spoiler / Batgirl, maybe throw in Black Bat too etc. and then you can just introduce them with their own movies without having to go through things chronologically.

It is very much NOT encouraging to me that it's based upon the Morrison storyline, though, because I am a Tim fan and Morrison did their best to excise him and treat him from non-existent to pretty much an outsider.

I don't know if that's Gunn's vision or if it's just my own take on doing things, but it could be cool? Maybe? Here's hoping.

I went and took a look at the list of upcoming movies (this one) because I wasn't keeping up with it and seeing The Authority on it makes me hope a tender hope that it will not completely fucking suck and that it might actually be interesting (please please please do them all justice, I am begging here).

I am flabbergasted Keanu Reeves agreed to come back as Constantine, but I liked the first movie (which I saw before I read any comics with constantine in it) so hey, maybe it will be another interesting movie again. I do like Keanu as an actor, though he is very much an Elseworld Constantine and has nothing to do with pre-Flashpoint canon Constantine, which is the one I know.

Seeing a Nightwing movie being talked about makes me think I might be right about the upcoming Batman movie introducing Damian but also having the other former Robins in the background and that would be honestly a relief.

I'd love to see a Lobo movie doing the Main Man right but god, that would be so tricky to pull off, especially in the current socio-political climate and with the cancellation culture and everything else going on that I've seen fandom wise.

Everything else I am seeing on that list either doesn't excite me or is not really a character I know so I'll take it with a grain of salt.

Sorry if this was more rambling about past projects than upcoming ones, I tried to balance things out and hope this answers your curiosity :D

Thank you for sending in the asks!

[friedwangsss]

LET’S PLAY HOUSE. | austin!elvis x black reader (part 5)

notes : “elvis wants to play house with you if you know what he means.”

extra notes : it’s been a good minute since i’ve updated our favorite almost couple. enjoy. also note this is probably a little longer than the other parts but hey, when i want to deliver, i want to deliver. it was fully finished at 2:10pm so if there are any typos, blame it on the lack of sleep lmfaoo.

it had been about a week since you had last seen elvis.

not being able to keep in contact with him kinda hurt but you knew that because of his career and all that, it would be hard. especially since you both left off on a rather steamy note.

elvis pressed his lips to yours as soon as you nodded your head to his request. he wasted no time placing his hands on your hips and gripping them lightly. he wanted to breathe you in so badly.

his tongue licked your bottom lip and you allowed him to slip his tongue in your mouth to mesh with yours. you didn’t know how you were managing to keep quiet because elvis was making you want to scream.

elvis pulled away, “gotdamn, you sure know how to kiss.”

“me? el, you literally took my breath away.” your hands rubbed his cheeks and pecked his lips, knowing that if you went in deeper, you wouldn’t come out. “i promised my momma i’d let you leave at a reasonable time so as much as i don’t want you to leave, you gotta go, baby.”

“man, my own love kicking me out. see, if we lived together in our own place, i’d stay in your arms as long as i wanted.”

“my own love.” was the thing that stuck with you the most.

you and elvis were never together like a couple but you definitely did things that couples did, especially when you were younger. the kiss that you and elvis shared as older adults made you wonder where you really stood with him.

you figured you probably shouldn’t dwell on it too much because you didn’t want to get the very wrong impression, even if you felt deep down that he liked you.

regardless, you moved on with your life and helped your mom with mending some clothes, a little side thing you did with her to make a little bit of money. she had asked you a few times about elvis but you hadn’t known much other than what you’d see on TV.

he looked like he was enjoying his life and you were happy for him.

the next week you found yourself back in the four walls of club handy, this time with a date who you actually enjoyed the presence of. terese was dancing on the floor to the new artist, little richard, who was making the whole building jump and jive.

“you wanna dance a little, y/n?” your date had asked you. “i can tell you like the music.”

“uh, yeah. i’m just not sure i can keep up with the music.”

“let’s just try,” he grabbed your hand. “c’mon.”

you allowed him to dance with you to the sound of little richard scatting. you actually did want to dance so badly, but with elvis. he was the only one who could actually keep up with you and the only person you really wanted to dance intimately with.

your date was a good dancer but he was no elvis.

while the music was still going and you were still dancing, you saw a crowd gather by the entrance of the club and a few regular-looking bodyguards making sure everyone was out of the way. you heard people shout out the one person's name who's been on your mind constantly and shook your head in laughter.

b.b. king made his way down to the mess of the dance floor and maneuvered his way through to get to elvis, finally freeing his from the mass of people and into a corner table.

elvis hadn’t seen you yet but you know terese saw him and made her way towards you and your date. “there he is, y/n.”

you rolled your eyes. “so? terese, i have a date tonight.”

“uh, huh. and you and elvis have some things to talk about, no?” now you wondered if telling terese about how you kissed elvis was a good idea. she usually just heard things and ran with them. you wouldn’t even be surprised if she told half the town by now.

you shot an apologetic smile towards your date and grabbed terese’s hand and led her to an empty table. “listen, you can’t say that stuff when i’m around a date! it’s so disrespectful.”

“so, it’s not like you even like him. you started eyeing elvis all the way up when he walked in.”

“that’s not even true, terese, you know that.”

“shoot, might as well be.” she saw you roll your eyes and giggled. “girl, at least talk to him. it’s not really far he left you hanging like that.”

“we ended on a mutual note, he didn’t leave me high and dry.”

“but i know you saw him on the tv. just admit you’re a little mad he left and didn’t bother calling.”

terese did have a point, even if she formulated it all by herself. elvis could’ve called or sent a letter in his between time. you just figured he would when he got the chance.

“ok, i’ll talk to him later.” you sighed standing up. you looked in the direction of elvis’ table and already saw him standing as well, making direct eye contact with you. “or now.”

he smiled a little when he looked at you, quickly trying to find his way through the heavy mass of people dancing to the singer on stage, a new kid sister rosetta thornton found. terese instantly snapped her eyes on him and left you to be swept off your feet again.

when he finally reached you, you didn't look up at him, you stared straight into his chest. "my eyes are up here, little lady."

you set your eyes up to meet his, “hello. nice to see you again.” you bit your lip shyly as if you hadn’t known elvis practically your entire life.

“hello to you too. how have you been, it’s been a while since we’ve talked."

"it has. i've been good, going to work and minding my own. how about you?"

he smirks a little at your response, thinking you were trying to take a jab at him even though you really didn't mean to. "you know, doin' a little singin' here, goin' on a few television shows. nothin' real special."

"hm, that's good for you. i'm glad you're happily doin' what you love." you nodded as the vibe of the music started to shift into something more slow. you saw couples all around attach themselves to each other and sway their bodies to the music.

you also saw your supposed date grab the hand of another girl and lead her to the dance floor. i mean, you can’t blame him. even if though he was a really nice boy, you and him probably weren’t going anywhere after tonight so you’re kind of glad he took matters into his own hands.

“well,” elvis somehow got closer to you and you hadn’t even notice. “seems like your date ditched ya.”

“that’s hardly what i’d call it.” you retorted.

elvis let out a sexy, breathy chuckle, “yeah, alright, love. however, i’m just itchin’ to get on the dance floor, care to going me?” he holds out a soft hand and you look at it. this could be dangerous.

but do you really care? no.

and that’s how you found yourself in elvis’ warm embrace, swaying back and forth to the very soft music floating through the air of the club. both of you said nothing, just basked in the moment because you knew it was going to be gone in a flash.

you wouldn’t know the next time you’d see elvis and he doesn’t know the next time he was going to be able to break away from his schedule to even think about calling you up. elvis tried not to think about it so much and rather just think about how he will be able to have you living in the same house with him, sleeping under the same sheets, and having his kids even.

but sadly, just as the music and the thoughts started - it all ended and you pulled away all too quickly.

“that was nice.” you muttered, looking around at the people kissing their partners and wondered if anyone had seen you and elvis. you doubted it since everyone was so into their partners but couldn’t help but wonder.

“it was, thank you for giving me that dance, doll.” he leaned into to you give you a kiss on your forehead before he glanced at the clock flashing 11:48 on it. elvis internally sighed, “and as much as i really hate to do this, i’ve got to go.”

you nodded your head, you couldn’t even look up at him, “that’s fine, you’re busy and you need good sleep. it’s alright.” you turned around to go and look for terese but elvis stopped you.

“but, i promise to call you, i’m serious.”

“elvis, i’m not going to be mad if you can’t call. i understand how busy you get and you can forget about some things. it’s alright.”

“no, i’m making a promise. a promise i want you to hold me to it.” he looked directly into your eyes and held your waist in a gentle but firm. for some reason, his blue eyes compelled you to agree. so you nodded your head and he planted a sweet kiss to your lips and vanished.

he was going to be the death of you, you were sure of it.

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[robinsnest2111]

For the ship ask game, (should probs get the obvious out of the way for you here XD) TommyMick/Marlee, vinikki, nikkimick, terrorcest, Vince/Tommy (I don't know if they have an official ship name sorry), Vince/Mick.

I know you like poly!crue but I was wondering how you feel about these ships individually and hoped you could expand on your opinion (only if you want to, no pressure, otherwise you could just rate these ships with no further context, whatever you feel up to :))

ooooooh, get ready for a loooong answer with loads of explanations <3

this one's very obvious and self explanatory. in my mind, Tommy simply adores his old man. Sure, he plays tricks on him and makes some jokes but it's all out of love <333 Tommy can be a bit much for Mick sometimes (like a playfighting puppy!), but he knows Tommy's the youngest of the group, the most immature and energetic, and tbh I think he kinda thrives on that energy and enthusiasm <3

ohhhhh, the classic showrunner and his barbie doll/pretty face+voice of the whole band. Their sarcasm and cattiness mesh so well, but they can also be at each other's throats in an instant. Big personalities on the both of them. When they're on bad terms it's Bad bad, but when they're on the same page? Unbeatable. I feel Nikki is quite possessive of Vince, and Vince likes that special focus and attention most times <3

here comes the angst!!! Both Nikki and Mick are very strong willed and a bit one track minded when they've got a goal in their sights. A very explosive relationship I feel. Similar to Nikki and Vince, Nikki feels a similar type of possessiveness over his old man, a sense of adoration and worship that does weird things to his heart and mind he doesn't dare explore further. Mick doesn't jive with that possessiveness at all, especially when it smothers his creativity and autonomy in the band. Once again. When they're on bad terms, it's bad. But when things are good? They're really good, a strong team working towards a common goal <3 Factor in the sadness of the recent split and drama (and also the history of abandonment and near death experiences and other stuff) there's so much delicious and painful angst as well!!!

YES the terror twins!!! Literally made for each other. Two hellish imps, destined to cause mischief and mayhem! When they're together, they're like two untamed puppies, loud and rambunctious with a total disregard for each other's or others' safety lol Definitely the ship with the most bruises and lovebites.

I feel like Tommy awakens some maternal instinct in Vince, since he's the youngest lol Vince always fussing over Tommy, but also laying all his love on him. Tommy soaks it all up like a sponge <3 He would probably also pull some stupid stunts just to get Vince's attention. If it gets to out of hand, they'd end up in a big fight and not talk to each other for a while. But it'd all smooth back out eventually. Can't be mad at Tommy for too long lol

THE TINY BITCHES GOTTA STICK TOGETHER <3 The appeal of them both being on the shorter side compared to Nikki and Tommy 🙏 I think their sarcasm and strong personalities would mesh pretty well most times, especially if they're teaming up against the terror twins shenanigans lol They also have their bad moments, both finding the other grating to be around. Prissy barbie doll Vince and quiet brooding Mick... But also... opposites attract. I think Mick is best at seeing past Vince's pretty face and really getting him. And Vince appreciates it <3

If you've made it all the way through my rambles, congratulations!!! :D

---

ship ask

[meadowmines]

OC-Tober/Tojoctober Day 3: Cold

In which Kamurocho's very own real live magical girl joins the party.

---

So, once again, Shiori has handpicked him a winner.

She does that. She does it because she has this idea in her head that Aoyagi needs practice talking to pretty girls (well, he does), and she personally vets the hostesses in every club she drags him to in order to make sure that... well, Aoyagi isn't really sure what Shiori's criteria are here, but she's three for three as far as finding him some solid allies. Her coworker at the Grand, who ended up on his Chef League team and is now in the process of applying to culinary school. That gal at Prime, who hooked him up with some handy gear. The gal at Shine, who does some absolutely bonkers ass pool trick shots--the kind that cause concussions. 

And now he's sitting in a booth at Jewel with a pretty gal named Akemi and it's going great. She's a little slow to open up at first but that's understandable considering the stuff she's really passionate about would just sail right over the head of most of her customer base. Hell, half of it is sailing over Aoyagi's head. But he's trying to pay attention because this stuff is, if you'll pardon the pun that's going to become very apparent shortly: cool.

Akemi is majoring in engineering out at Touto University, she says. Specializing in cryogenics, she says. Aoyagi is sincerely interested in what she's working on, because he is a pastry chef and he does sometimes work with things that need to get real cold real fast. Ice cream, mousses, chocolate decorations, that kind of stuff. She's got a couple other interests that... don't really jive with that, though? For example: she's also into stage magic. Quick-change artistry, in particular. And this is definitely not Aoyagi's field but he could sit here and listen to her talk all night about having to figure out how it all worked on her own because you can't just ask how people do it. And she never goes anywhere without a volume of some magical girl manga or another in her purse. Oh, and she apparently has a second job? At some kind of cosplay bar? She doesn't really get into detail on that one, because their time is almost up and Shiori is standing there in the entrance making frantic gestures and faces that Aoyagi guesses translate to ask her out, you coward! 

Aoyagi takes a deep breath as he's handed his check. Clears his throat. Tries to pretend his palms aren't sweating and his heart isn't pounding in his ears. "Um," he says. The very... whatever the opposite of an epitome is of smooth. He clears his throat and tries again with a smile he's sure she's going to be creeped out by. "Do you, uh... wanna go somewhere else later?" He plays that back in his head to see if he forgot anything. "With me," he quickly adds, as if it wasn't clear. 

There is a brief, agonizing pause. Aoyagi is pretty sure the music has stopped. In the background, Shiori looks like she needs a bucket of popcorn.

And then Akemi just beams at him.

"Sure!"

---

It's been a nice date! Really! Kinda short, on account of Aoyagi having some real important stuff going on right now, and it's kind of hard to not notice Shiori tailing them, but it's nice to go get some really good food with a really interesting girl for a little while.

Or at least... it was nice. Until they came out of Kanrai and found a whole lot of unpleasant people waiting for them.

"Oh great," Akemi sighs. Not her first encounter with this bunch, it seems. Or at least, with one of this bunch. Probably the one that steps forward with a lot of swagger and attitude.

"What gives, Akemi-chan?" Oh yeah. There's history here. "What, I ain't good enough for ya? I've been tryin' to get ya out on a date for months n' ya just latch right onto this pipsqueak?"

"Them's fightin' words," Aoyagi says. Okay. Not the best odds here. The rest of the crew, aside from Shiori, has given him some privacy for the whole date thing and it's just the two of them against... this. "Hey, Akemi-chan... you might wanna stand back."

"What!?" Akemi looks at him like he's just grown a third eye. "No! Are you kidding? I've been dying to test this on live subjects! Hold my purse!"

"H-hey!?" Aoyagi takes Akemi's purse because he doesn't know what the fuck else to do, but just before she shoves it at him she pulls something out of it. Something long and slim and silver, with a glowing blue gem at one end and...

...and all at once, a whole lot of pieces fall into place really, really fast as Akemi brandishes something that sure as hell looks like an honest to god magical girl transformation wand. 

"Crystal Star Power..."

There's a soft click. The hum of a tiny motor as an astounding length of sheer sparkly blue fabric unfurls from some hidden compartment and twirls around Akemi like a shimmery cocoon. Aoyagi just watches this because he doesn't know what the hell else to do. The punks surrounding them seem to agree with him.

"Make... UP!"

And with another quick little zzizzizzizzizz! noise, the sparkly streamers retract back into wherever the hell they came from, the gem at the end of Akemi's wand flares brilliant blue, and where a perfectly normal hostess stood just a minute ago, there is now an actual real live magical girl in the flesh. Sailor-esque uniform, sparkly tiara, the works. 

"Wh," Aoyagi says again, because that's all he can say.

"Stop right there, evildoers! I'm here to punish you with the power of Love, Justice, Beauty..." Akemi's cute magical girl grin skews, Aoyagi thinks, just a little unhinged. "...and industrial refrigerant!" One of the punks shakes it off before Aoyagi can, and before Aoyagi can even take a step towards him, there's a little hiss of pressurized gas and a shout of "Crystal Hailstorm!" Aoyagi watches, as if this is all happening in slow motion, as a single fist-sized chunk of solid ice decks the bastard right between the eyes and knocks him flat on his back. "Whoops! Looks like someone got knocked... out cold! ...oh dang, that was supposed to be, like... a volley, not just one hailstone! Oh well, still getting some good data!" 

"What the hell," one of the other punks wheezes. "G-get 'em, guys!"

The next few minutes are a blur of fists and feet and ice projectiles and frostbite. "Do you have to call your attacks?" Aoyagi remembers asking at one point--not criticizing, just curious.

"What? Oh, that! Yeah, I--Sapphire Snowstorm!" Aoyagi ducks into his jacket as a highly localized blizzard that smells like freon whooshes past. "Yeah, it's voice-activated!"

"Oh," Aoyagi says in the tone of a man who has just entirely given up trying to figure out what's going to happen next. "Okay."

[risingsouls]

I mean, while the narrative by no means excuses them, they're shown as being desperate survivors, resorting to cruel acts to survive a universe that pm doomed them to extinction. And arguing for genocide is disgusting. And on Bulma, I agree, original material is not the friendliest to female characters, they hardly get to do anything before being married off and forgotten about. like how does someone forget that raditz/nappa/etc were only doing that to survive...? frieza drove them to it

[Part one here:]

[I saw this and thought the goons had come back to argue with me lmao. But I'm glad that isn't the case and it's someone else that saw how...uh...problematic the narrative of the other side of the argument was positing.

Under the cut for length and ~drama~.

As you said, the Saiyans were by no means good, but they didn't deserve to be wiped out (I mean...that's not even why they WERE wiped out...at least so long as we ignore implications of Beerus telling Frieza to do it which was dumb anyway so). No one does. I will say that, at least from what I understand (and accept; they seem to change the Saiyan's history every other saga), the Saiyans were always looking for a fight, and, according to at least the dub I know, they did go to other planets to do that and wreak havoc even before King Cold got his mitts on them. Whether that was to CONQUER said planets or not also depends on what part of the series you're watching it seems but you know. So they've definitely always had some questionable practices, but that doesn't mean they're evil by design and deserve total destruction.

And that's not even talking about basically ANYTHING we see of Saiyan culture/lifestyle IS post colonization by the Colds. We don't ACTUALLY get to see what their culture WAS without it being tainted by being ruled by another empire. We get some hints, most of which end up contradicted or something as I mentioned earlier, but we have no way of knowing what was purely from Saiyan culture and what got changed, adopted, or expunged.

The point I was trying to make with the Bulma and Vegeta stuff was that a lot of Bulma's behavior stifles or at least attempts to stifle even the most innocuous portions of Vegeta's Saiyan-ness he can practice and show like simply training/fighting (which is part of their culture and maybe even biology, despite what the arguers wanted to say). This is more headcanon-y, but that would probably extend to other aspects of his personality, practices, etc. that did come from his Saiyan heritage that didn't jive with how she wanted him to be or expected him to be. The folks in question unfortunately took that to mean I meant the worst parts of his old lifestyle which wasn't what I was talking about at all. Vegeta himself has no interest in conquest anymore, so their arguments were ridiculous from the get go. However, the things Bulma says and does on screen reveal that she wants him to be an Earthling husband. She wants him to act fully like an Earthling, and she has never been shown to care about his history or learning about it and his culture (i.e. Vegeta has had to inform her and the others of different aspects of Saiyan lifestyle and biology, stuff that she could have easily already known if she, imo, bothered to understand that part of him). And I'm not even saying that's REALLY a huge problem on the surface; you can't really blame her when that's all SHE knows and how her character is. Sexism aside, she is meant to be a spoiled, self-serving brat from the beginning. When it DOES become a problem is that, as I mentioned, she doesn't TRY to understand him on that level, and there are no hints that she has tried. She basically seems to pull exactly what the people that had a problem with what I said did in just assuming Saiyans are just genocidal killers with nothing else to them (and a note: I know Vegeta would probably be difficult to talk to about this but you get me I think).

Overall, I think they were just mad that I dared to call Bulma abusive and is a second Frieza for Vegeta based on this singular post where I didn't really get into the meat of why I think that because I've talked about it several times before. Yes, the writing for her is oftentimes sexist and awful like it is with pretty much every other woman in the series, but that...doesn't really play ball here. The point I was trying to make is that, while it's not on purpose or maliciously (another nuance of my post the people with a problem failed to even ask me about because they went immediately on the attack), is that Vegeta basically ended up in another relationship where he was being controlled by another person (again, perhaps not in a malicious way but she held a lot over him in terms of having a place to live and survive, especially when we know the dude was super depressed post Cell Saga; man was not about to have the wherewithal to fucking find a job and get a place of his own on a planet he knows so little about, so yeah...he's gonna take the easiest option available), something that I think is more apparent in Super than Z but it's still there. And yeah, I actually agree that he should just ignore her when he wants to train or leave or do something that isn't what she wants him to do at the time. But if we go by canon and how it's written (which I can say THIS would be where the sexism comes in), that's not what happens. Bulma does whatever she can to get what she wants from Vegeta in apparent and subtle ways that come off as pretty abusive.

And I'll say it now: Vegeta is fucking abusive and toxic, too. I've said it a million and three times, but since I didn't say it in the post in question, apparently I just don't think that. Which isn't true. Vegeta is shitty to Bulma from day fucking one. I really don't understand why they end up together as, again, I've said a million times. The choice is absolutely disrespectful to Bulma's character. Something else I've said ad nauseum. But again...this one post was the one they cherrypicked to get pissed over.

I got accused of not seeing nuance in any of this during this...debate. Thing is, this take is based on what happens in canon. This is my reading of the relationship based on canon events, and even then, it's just a SLIVER of what I think about their canon relationship. If I had my way? This relationship wouldn't exist or, at the very least, would be written VERY differently, from making Bulma be less of a sexist stereotype (in the relationships and in all aspects) to how Vegeta reacts to her always forcing him to do shit he doesn't want to or, perhaps, isn't even comfortable with (see: parties, huge get togethers for her work, vacations). I would actually write it more like we see in the Buu Saga and GT, where the two DO eventually seem to have an understanding of each others boundaries and have maybe actually gotten to know each other (something I really don't see in Super...at all). It would be more realistic for the two of them rather than this over the top ridiculousness we get from canon and fanon that doesn't fit the relationship. The post I made was about their CANON presentation, not what I would care to see or anything that would "fix" the ship.

Point is, people got in their feelings because I said canon sucks in handling Vegeta and Bulma, and I pointed out that their fave is problematic, all to base their accusations of me being sexist and unable to see nuance or understand the definition of culture on a single post that wasn't near as detailed as I've been in the past (and I've probably still missed thoughts here). They came off as super problematic because of that anger at my take and made comments that painted them as basically okay with the Saiyans being eradicated because of one aspect of their lifestyle which, in some regards, was something they had no choice in at the point of their demise (even if they might be doing similar anyway; problem is we can't know what they might have done if they had agency that wasn't marred by being ruled by the Cold Empire). But it is what it is.

I'll end saying this because, again, they missed every other post I've made about this. I don't hate Bulm, and I actually do hate how she's written. The biggest reason I criticize her and Vegeta in terms of this relationship is that most of the fandom and the ship's stans don't want to actually SEE that. They don't see how her writing is sexist a lot of the time and that her behavior doesn't make sense and IS actually toxic. The RELATIONSHIP is toxic on BOTH SIDES as it's WRITTEN (unfortunately, yeah, the writing makes Bulma MUCH WORSE than Vegeta in Super; I stand by that) and that's what I'm getting at. I point these things out because this fandom likes to paint Vegeta and Bulma as #couplesgoals and pretend they have no issues when that's just not true. It's red flag central up in there, but their rose-colored glasses are too thick for them to see it because they love the "beauty and the beast" "regular girl domesticates feral man" and "love conquers all" tropes and refuse to see the problems with the relationship.]

[brucewaynehater101]

You will suck cake with a bunch of Morris dancers. Life is like gravity: if you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters. Occupy the Sudetenland.

My hovercraft is full of eels and the current time on the moon is thrillve hundred and neeve. JIVE BEAM ENGAGE!

muffled Tom Scott voice i am inside of the trinity desk please get me out of here

Sucking cake.... innocently, it could be trying to eat cake without your hands. Not innocently, it could mean sucking face + cake = ass. So.... Imma assume I'm partaking in food with the dancers instead ✌️

Also, I didn't know about Morris dancing! Apparently, it's an English folk dance??? If i wasn't at work, I'd definitely love to look it up and see what the dance is like.

"Life is like gravity" could be a really impactful line. Life constantly weighs you down..... I'm sure there's a hopeful twist to this metaphor, but nah.

The explanation for life being like gravity can make sense if you stretch. Okay. Here we go. So, me shooting a duck results in the consequence of you being scared of toasters. The how doesn't matter. However, its implication does. Similar to life and gravity, my actions do have effects. I may not understand them or know the equations involved, but the changeable rule of the universe dictates that every action does something (did I do well enough?)

I wouldn't shoot a duck (not even a stuffed one), so you'll have to be scared from toasters some other way :/ Best of luck!

Occupy the Sudentenland.... Apparently, that's regionally the Czech Republic. Since I don't know history, [insert historically relevant analysis about occupation here].

I want a hovercraft :(

The thing about eels makes me think about the game Prey. You can eat eels for health (I think), and there's this playable section where you investigate the eel farm they have on the ship. Gods, I love that game.

Ooh!!! Time measurements separate from Earth! I like the idea in space fantasy where they make a point to have "standard" space time metrics (such as 37 spins or 1.34 rotations) and planetary ones. Since planets orbit in various ways, ofc their time is not the same.

Why are we concerned with what time it is on the moon? I'm curious if there's a reason

A jive is apparently a dance, sneering, deceitful, or worthless depending on how you use it.... Which one is the beam? Is the beam all of them?

I had to look up who Tom Scott was, lmao. I'm guessing you're referencing the YouTuber and not the saxophonist. Though saxophones should be included in more music. I like them. They got a vibe

A trinity desk is either a recording one or a horror game??? I would like to know more about the horror game

[msmargaretmurry]

hi there! you've mentioned one thing you're pretty good at is pacing and i always enjoy the way you talk about craft. would you mind getting a little into how you pace stuff and how you know things are working/not working regarding that?

hello anon! i'm so flattered that you came to me to ask! i would be happy to talk about pacing! ❤❤

i will get the most obvious and most annoying advice out of the way first: write a lot and read a lot. like any skill, you get better at writing the more you practice! in my experience, the more stories you write, the more you just kind of develop a sense for where the beats of a story should go, and developing a narrative arc or character arc becomes more second nature.

with reading, i do honestly think that just reading a lot without even being that critical about it is helpful, but obviously reading with pacing in mind is best if that's what you're working on! i pay so much attention to pacing in books i read because bad pacing is so annoying to me. i have more patience for it in fic, because we're all just having fun here, but in published books i'm like, buddy wtf was your editor doing 😂😭

anyway, reading for pacing! just pay attention to if the story feels rushed (what do you think is missing? what beats don't feel earned and what do you think would fix that?) or feels like it's dragging (what do you think could be omitted from the story without losing essential information or development? are thematic or character beats being repeated unnecessarily?) or if it feels well-paced — finding that balance between keeping you engaged in what's on the page in front of you and interested in/anticipating what's going to happen next — and then you can pay attention to what is happening at what points in the story, and think about how it wouldn't have worked as well if you learned certain information later, or if those characters kissed sooner, or if the story spent more time on x instead of y.

also, read the kind of thing you want to write. if you want to write short things, read short stories! ditto longer stories, read novels or novellas. pacing is similar across the board but the length of the story definitely affects it! when i'm talking about pacing i'm generally talking about my long fics, if that is helpful context.

but i know none of that is really helpful if you're working on a story RIGHT NOW!!! so. some thoughts on pacing while i'm writing!

firstly, i'm not a detailed outliner, but i do keep a loose story structure/beat sheet that i sometimes fill in ahead of time and sometimes fill in as i go, to help keep myself on track and to keep the overall shape of the story in mind. there are a lot of different ways to structure a story, so if you're not familiar with beat sheets, do a little googling and find one that you feel like fits your story and/or jives with your writing style. if you're writing something with a strong romance arc, i definitely recommend specifically looking at romance novel beat sheets or romance plot outline guides! just remember that you never have to adhere religiously to the beat sheet if it feels like it's limiting your story 💖

usually my own writing process goes something like this: i write the first chunk of story (10–20k ish) with little to no planning, then take a break and see how what i have maps onto the beat sheet, and think about how the story i've started might hit future plot beats. if i have concrete ideas of scenes i'll pencil them in, and go back to discovery writing. rinse and repeat every 10–20k words.

a process similar to that might or might not work for you — maybe you're much more of a planner, and that's fine! you gotta find what works for you, and sometimes that takes some trial and error!!

another thing for me with pacing is that if i'm trying to write a scene and it feels forced, or it feels really hard to write, there's probably something wrong with it. often the thing wrong is that i'm trying to get my characters to do something that i haven't earned for them yet. which means i'm either going to have to go back and fix something to better build up to the current moment, or (and this is what i do most often) figure out a new goal for the scene that gets the development a step closer to what the original intent of the scene was, and push that plot beat or character moment further down the line. i do think it probably takes some practice to learn to tell the difference between "this scene is hard to write because there's something wrong with it" and "this scene is hard to write because writing is just hard today" but i promise there is a difference! 💕

i wrote some about keeping track of ideas and plot threads in long stories here, which i think is also helpful for this topic. especially wrt keeping track of subplots and stuff, and ESPECIALLY with the stuff about giving characters the space they need. i truly do know the temptation to push on through so you can finish the story faster, trust me, but having the patience to NOT force it can really help with pacing.

i can't remember where i originally learned about it, but i think about the rule of threes a fair amount when i'm writing. that is, if something is important and you want the reader to pay attention to it/expect something from it, say it or show it or allude to it three times. foreshadowing clues, character traits, etc. not a hard and fast rule but useful to keep in mind!

it also must be said that obviously i'm not perfect at any of this. i do think it's one of my strengths as a writer but we all make mistakes and i am definitely still learning and growing!! so once again this is where having a good and trusted beta reader comes in. sometimes you are truly just so deep in your story that you can't tell that the pacing is wonky and you need someone to tell you so you can fix it!

my final little piece of advice here is that if you're writing something long, don't rush the ending. an abrupt ending can definitely be used effectively, especially in shorter works, but in long stories it often leaves the reader wanting. i've read so many books this year that i was really enjoying and then they ended and i was like, well i would have loved another 30–50 pages to properly wrap all that up! i think this especially happens in fanfic, which is so relationship-centric, that fics end super fast after the couple gets together, when sometimes there was a lot of other stuff going on in the story that could use some tlc in the denouement. or, if it's been a long and feelingsy journey for our lovers to get to their happy place, having just a little bit of them actually navigating that happy place and all the baggage they dragged in there with them can be SO nice and cathartic. obviously once again not a hard and fast rule — all stories are different and need different things and that's beautiful!! — but something i like to keep in mind ❤

i hope this was helpful and good luck with your writing!! 💖

[vacantgodling]

📖❌🙄pleaaseee :3c

thank youuuuu <3

📖 What do you put sex scenes and/or kink in your story for? Eroticism? Character development? Thematic exploration? Something else?

kind of all the above tbh. sex scenes are also an expression of how a character thinks, acts, and feels and i think their sexual habits definitely prove to be interesting character studies into what they're like when they're doing something intimate. sex has the unique ability to be both intimate (emotionally) or not at all while still being physically intimate (or not at all) and the dynamics that it creates are really interesting to me. but tbh, most of the time i write sex scenes cuz they're hot and i wanna see my hot characters bone LMAOOO.

❌ Are there aspects of sex and/or kink that you’ll never touch with a ten-foot pole?

aside from cum (and ig tears but i don't think that counts) i'm not really into like other bodily fluids (though there is a SMALL part of me that wants to explore wtf happened in that piss-incident with amon but i don't think i can bring myself to write it without wanting to throw up. nothing against the kink itself but its just a hard pass for me LMAO). ageplay also just is Not the move for me. i don't mind characters calling each other daddy and mommy but like. i don't really like kids generally speaking so the idea of trying to write a character being childlike but also doing sex is just like not for me personally.

most other things i'm open to trying out writing and seeing if i jive with it? but those are the two main things i think i'm hard stop about.

🙄 Is there a particular kind of sex scene that bothers you to read? How would you improve it?

i don't quite know how to put it but like ig, with heavy asterisks that pillow princess scenes aren't my favorite cuz they just kind of bore me. i mean those scenes you'll find in romance novels where the main character and the love interest are gonna fuck and its entirely the top/male character (usually, lbr) doing literally everything and the receiving party is just kind of like. oh i felt this i felt that i moaned but like they aren't actually doing anything to like engage with the partner. they aren't clawing hands down the back or like telling them how good they feel or like doing literally anything.

the reason i say asterisks is because i think these kinds of scenes could work if the receiving party was like. doing something other than just moaning. it makes me think they're just like. laying there like a ragdoll which isn't like. engaging to me?? i wanna see how these two characters interact with each other and the chemistry they have between them, so like even if you have amazing build up to this sex scene and the one character is literally doing all the work its like not for me personally. like i'm sure for many this type of thing doesn't bother them but its just not really engaging for me lmao.