#also i actually kept the text out of view this time lol

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❛ MY SHORTY ALWAYS ON SOME BULLSHIT LIKE CHICAGO ❜

PART 2

part of the 420 'We Be Burnin' series

⋙ MENU ITEM: PLUG!CHOSO x SORORITYBRAT!READER ⋙ PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 (completed)

⋙ product description (summary): okay so you finally realized how badly you fucked up. but is it too late? will choso even talk to you now? has he moved on for good or is it that you now have to worry about someone else moving onto him? ⋙ side effects (tw): more drama. more angst. teasing. jealousy. thirsting. mentions of sex and oral sex. intoxication with drug & alcohol use. sending nudes. y/n is still a brat. bitchy sorority sisters. party culture. ⋙ thc levels (wc): 8.2k of 22.1k ⋙ inventory notes (a/n): best viewed in dark mode. i appreciate y'all liking this sm hope you don't mind i split this up more, but the second part was getting too unruly in length lol

Plug!Choso who you thought forgetting about would be relatively easy. Overwhelmed with the sheer amount of new presidential duties, you had no shortage of various meetings to keep you occupied. Even so, Choso had a way of popping into your mind as the most routine things would remind you of him. 

You couldn’t go get a fresh set of nails without expecting to see his tinted blacked-out sedan parked outside waiting for you. Scrolling socials had also become annoying as you’d see a post and immediately want to send it to Choso— your sorority sisters would think you were gross if you sent them mukbang videos. You couldn’t even bake anything anymore, especially anything chocolate, without reminding yourself of how much Yuji hated nuts in his chocolate chip cookies. 

Or even now when you had been walking across campus with your sisters and chatting about the massive proposal plan of next year’s sorority activities. A daunting task on its own which you had to submit to your national chapter by the end of the month. In fact, there were a lot of tedious things you realized you’d now be responsible for as president. 

However, all of that flew out of your mind when a car sped by blasting a familiar rock song— one that Choso always played. 

Stopping in your tracks you whipped your head around but the music was coming from a completely different car. The disappointment in your chest felt like you were suffocating.

The song was the first one from Choso’s ‘stoner emo boy playlist’ that you’d actually admitted you liked so he made sure to play it whenever you came around. You didn’t think you were official enough to have a song, but it felt like you did when you’d heard it just now. 

Although what pained you more in the moment was the fact Choso hadn’t even bothered to text you since the day of the brunch. Your pride and guilt kept you from texting him initially but after the first week you caved and did what you once thought was unthinkable— texting a guy first. 

You’d thought he’d answer instantly, happy you’d finally forgiven him for nearly ruining your brunch and you did want to apologize for missing Yuji’s game. But when 20 minutes turned into an hour and an hour turned into the entire day you realized he was ignoring you.

Choso was a dealer. 

He always had his phone on him. In fact, Choso used to respond to you so fast you wondered if he’d always kept your messages up on his screen.

The seriousness hits home when more of your texts go unanswered as the days go by. 

You huffed. 

Two weeks had passed since you first reached out and apparently Choso was still giving you the cold shoulder. Unconsciously chewing on your manicured french tips, your intrusive thoughts paint the absolute worst scenarios. 

This was around the time of day he’d usually be on campus and you’d meet up in the empty garage. 

Would he be there now doing another deal? 

Or giving ‘discounts’ to another girl?

You shook your head. Choso wasn’t like that. 

You knew he wasn’t.

Then again he had stuffed your guts in less than 10 minutes of knowing each other.

But you were the exception right? Choso wouldn’t move on just like that, would he? 

Rejection wasn’t something you had dealt with often in your life or well, ever. 

You’d gotten everything you wanted since you were little whether it was something you worked for or something given to you. 

So what if you didn’t have Choso?

You should be content with life. 

You had everything you’d ever wanted right now. 

You were pretty, got damn near perfect grades and now had the title of sorority president for fuckssake! 

Meeting someone like Choso was never part of your plans and didn’t fit into them either, so you had never really considered what the both of you were to be anything long-term. 

Nor did you ever stop to consider what he thought of your relationship. 

You thought he’d lick his wounds for a few days and forgive you. However with each passing day the thought he might really be done with you sinks in more and more.

Regardless of the legion of frat guys who would jump at the chance to date you, the only guy you really wanted right now apparently wanted fuck all to do with you. 

Ok so maybe you deserve the silent treatment. 

A lot. 

You never been that big of a bitch to him before. But you really had panicked when he showed up out of the blue with your parents on the way! Also if he didn’t go and threaten the DJ like he did???

You sighed. 

No, even under more peaceful circumstances the end result was you weren’t going to leave to go to Yuji’s game. You couldn’t blame him for being furious with you as you knew how protective he was of his younger brother but you at least wish he’d hear you out.

Just for one last time and maybe you could make it up to Yuji too? 

Get him a nice gift for missing his little league game and bake him chocolate chip cookies—without the nuts. You wanted to hear him adorably ramble on which would always be accompanied by animated hand movements while he gave you the rundown. Yuji often roped in Choso as well, who would be all too happy to play whatever role or prop Yuji needed him for. 

Their identical grins, goofy and filled with joy never failed to put a smile on your face. A smile which came easy as there was never any demands put on you when you were with them. No pretending for the sake of appearances, no worrying about social standing and no expectations for favors. 

With them you were just you and they had accepted you.

But had you accepted them? 

Shit. 

Yeah you had fucked up big. 

You knew you needed to talk to Choso and if you weren’t all but certain Choso would slam the door in your face, you’d have half a mind to go pop up at his house. 

Although maybe if Yuji ans—

“—Like HELLO!? Earth to Prez!”

Your train of thought abruptly comes to an end when one of your sorority sisters—Brianna—rudely snaps their fingers in your face. 

Bitch. 

She’d been bitter ever since she’d lost the presidency to you. 

Elections were over so you didn't have to worry about staying on everyone's good side like you had been doing for the last 3 years of being super sweet and non confrontational. Even so, snatching up a fellow sister certainly wouldn’t make a good impression for a newly appointed president.

“What IS it Brie!?” 

Turning to face her you had no choice but to keep your cool.

“Don’t give me attitude! You’re the one not paying attention, space case.”  

Brianna huffed accusingly. 

“Yeah, Brie’s kinda right Prez, you’ve been a little bit distracted lately.” 

Another one of your sisters chimed in—immediately looking down when your eyes narrowed on her.

“Don't tell me the pressure is already getting to ‘Little Miss Legacy'? Or—”

Brianna flips her hair with a sly smile before continuing.

“—is it just that you miss your burnout stalker boy?” 

“E-Excuse me!?”

Extremely disarmed by the allegation, you were not expecting in a million years the very person you were thinking of to be brought up like this by Brianna of all people. 

“You know—you’ve been acting off since the brunch a few weeks ago and we used to be practically swimming in za—way more o’s than we paid for. You must have been doing something to get all that from that future convict and he must be pretty pissed with you if you haven’t been able to get anymore since.”

The rest of your sisters were gagged at the accusations Brianna was tossing your way as it was true that your supply had been dwindling. Their eyes darted between the two of you but mostly focused on you waiting for your response. 

You ignore them though as all your ire was on Brianna.

This whore had some fucking nerve speaking about Choso like that. 

The thought of knocking the smug look off Brianna’s face is almost too tempting —presidency be damned. 

Yet your own guilt stops you.

Too little, much too late for you to be standing up for Choso now the way you had dismissed him so harshly in front of Brianna and the rest of your sisters just a few weeks ago. You could only be mad at yourself, your own actions showed them how to treat Choso.

That didn’t mean you were going to let her get away with it without a proper lashing though. 

“Listen—Brie, Little Miss Legacy is busy juggling the presidency, a 3.8 gpa, volunteer work and planning every goddamn sorority event worth attending. As for you? Well I heard you’d been pretty busy these days juggling your creepy ass T.A. Noaya’s balls because you were going to fail Biology again for the third time—so do you really want to talk about pressure or whose fucking whom for what?”

Standing up for yourself wasn’t something you ever did in an effort to be likable and so Briana, as well as the rest of your sisters, were stunned into silence. 

Even if her fucking for grades had been no secret, it wasn’t something anyone talked about out loud and yet you’d gladly air her out again for insulting Choso.

“Urgh, whatever! Anyways while you were daydreaming we were planning Jeremy's birthday party on Saturday.”

You rolled your eyes at the inattention to some random frat guy’s bday being the reason for this whole confrontation.  

“Oookay and—?”

“—and we need you to get some more za from your stalk— er um, I mean your plug...” 

Brianna quickly corrects herself seeing your eyes flare.  

“Jermey wants a joint filled pinata and we don’t have nearly enough right now to roll all those joints.”

You suck your teeth in annoyance. 

Of course it all had to come back around to Choso.

“I’m not talking to him right now. We’ll find someone else.” 

Well it was half true, more like he wasn’t talking to you. 

You tried not to pout and completely give yourself away at how much it really was affecting you.

“Well start again, Prez! You know his stuff is the best!”

“We already promised everyone we’d have it!” 

“Please Prez!”

The rest of your sorority sisters chimed in.  

“Yeah Prez it shouldn’t be a problem. Send him an ass pic or something, I bet he would respond to that.” 

The rest of your sisters giggled in agreement. 

Little did they know you had already sent Choso nudes 8 days ago, which when you checked Snap last just 10 minutes ago he still hadn’t opened yet. 

You’d die before admitting that though.

“Fine. I’ll figure it out.” 

“Knew you would Prez!” 

Brianna tossed you a fake smile as she turned around and your sisters followed suit walking back towards the sorority house. The chatter now moves on to drink options as the previous conversation is instantly forgotten. 

You still flip the bitch off behind her back though before you catch up to join the conversation lest these dumb bitches skimp out on drinks for more decorations and have you all drinking Monarch vodka again—gross, much more so than a mukbang video.

Plug!Choso who later that night has you laying on your bed staring at your phone suspended over you, your finger hovering over the send button. 

What if he ignored you this time too? 

Worse—what if he had finally blocked you?

Well all your messages had gone through so far even though his read receipts were off. 

Choso hadn’t blocked you yet. 

Only two days had passed since you last texted him but scrolling through your history the wall of blue taking over the entire screen had you feeling vexed.

Hadn’t Choso punished you enough? 

Biting your lip in apprehension you hit send. 

You almost dropped your phone on your face. Sitting up in your bed you stare at his text incredulously as the sticker shock of Choso jacking up the price by $150 hits you.

You deserved that, you supposed. 

But fuck you knew you’d have to come up out of pocket yourself for the extra and you couldn’t admit to your sisters why the price had gone up so much again.

At least he was answering you though. 

You threw your phone across your bed. 

Well that went super. 

You’d hope you’d have the chance to talk about things while he was responding to you, maybe get him to video call you? You knew he still wouldn’t be thrilled with you but you didn’t expect his responses to be that short once he finally answered. 

Choso always over texted you if anything, sending paragraphs at times so these clipped messages were like tiny daggers pricking you with each one you received.  

You didn’t think you could handle him being mean to you like this for much longer. 

Getting a taste of your own medicine fucking sucked.

With a sigh you had decided to push it to the back of your mind. It was Tuesday and he wasn’t even coming until Friday.

That’s when you realized Choso implied he was coming to you. 

As in your sorority house. 

On Friday. 

The night of the Barbie’s Dreamhouse Kegger. 

Goddamnit.

Plug!Choso who shows up to your sorority house on Friday night just before midnight when the kegger is at its peak. Choso doesn’t give a single fuck this time around that he sticks out like a sore thumb with his dark tattered jeans, matching leather jacket, heavy eyeliner and metal piercings amongst all the colorful and peppy pastel attired party-goers. 

Choso waltzes right through the front door like he owns the place.

“Oh! It's you! Finally!” 

Flipping her hair behind her to show off her ample cleavage, your sorority sister Brianna bounces over to Choso who continues to look past her as his eyes scan the foyer.

To be honest he wasn’t even sure she was talking to him until she mentioned you.

“You’re the plug, right? Choso? Here for Prez, hmm?” 

Brianna appraised Choso with a flirty glance and a smile. 

“I’m Brianna, but everyone calls me Brie. She’s outside with her boys! I’ll take you there, kay?”

Her boys?

Brianna batts her eyes sweetly to complement her peppy demeanor. 

Choso simply nods, appearing unphased as Brianna grabs him by the arm of his jacket to lead him through the sea of people crowding the hall and out to the backyard. The very same backyard where you had rejected and humiliated him to save your own superficial social standing just a few weeks ago. 

Of course he hadn’t forgotten. 

Choso noted this time though the expansive yard had a completely different vibe from the pretentious scene he’d walked into before. The backyard was now filled with pink inflatable decorations and rose gold plastered party supplies, trading the expensive crystal for matching pink solo cups and decorative flower displays for shotskis. 

Yet Choso’s comparisons end once he finally spots you in the crowd. 

Playing beer pong with some frat fucks, carefree like you had zero concerns (or thoughts of him) in the world as you taunted your opponents. 

Choso’s eyes narrow when you—clad in a scandalously small pink sparkly tube top—brought a dainty manicured nail to your chest and seductively dragged it down your cleavage to tug at the hem of the fabric. The tops of your tits swell over the edge of the material provocatively as you tease the chance they might altogether spill out onto the table if you pulled any lower.

The plan worked and your opponents thoroughly distracted missed their shots much to your amused squeals and Choso’s growing irritation. His brow twitched as he noticed the rest of your outfit which barely provided any more coverage. 

The matching mini skirt you wore rested low enough on your curvy hips to show the very edges of your thong but high enough on your thighs that your cheeks were nearly peeking out just from the slight bend you took as you aimed to take your next shot. Your pink jeweled belly ring (that he’d bought you) and gem adorned nude fishnets lead down to chunky hot pink glitter pumps only calling more attention to your lower half as they were illuminated by the outdoor tiki lights.

Why were you dressed like such a slut and letting those greasy shitheads drool all over you? 

Your beer pong partner was clearly exaggerating his drunkenness for an excuse to feel you up as his hand rested dangerously close to the top of your ass as you took your next shot. 

Were you that clueless?

Choso’s jaw clenches as you allow yourself to be pulled in by the shoulder tits first into a celebratory hug after landing a cup off a bounce, thus removing two. The way you’d casually let those assholes gawk and grab at you when you wouldn’t even make eye contact with him in public pisses him off like none other and reminds him why he had decided to cut you off after all.

This time though Choso doesn’t march over, masking his resentment with nonchalance as he considers leaving altogether. 

Sure he needed the money—but it wouldn’t make or break him in the long run. 

Keeping the big picture in mind, Choso had Yuji to think of and he couldn’t afford to catch a case over your slutty ass if he actually gave into the urge to knock some random frat fucker’s teeth out.

Yet Choso switches his attention back to Brianna when she returns with a beer filled cup for him and her sheer top unbuttoned even lower. 

Oh? 

Choso grins. 

Plug!Choso who you finally notice standing near the back door of your sorority house next to—Brianna?!…urgh! 

Her obnoxious high-pitched laughter loudly cut through the music and party chatter to draw your attention over. 

What the hell was Choso even doing with her?! 

You grit your teeth as Choso takes the drink. You watch as he reclines against the house and cheers cups together. Brianna is twirling her hair innocently as she flirts with him, giggling like an idiot. 

One without an ounce of shame at that. 

You seethe as she clutches onto his bicep pulling herself closer and resting her tits on his arm when she pretends to momentarily lose her balance. 

Stupid cunt ass bitch. 

You know it's just to spite you too. 

Of course Brianna still didn’t know of the true nature of your relationship with Choso for certain but a backstabbing whore like her would try to fuck him solely off an inkling. 

If anything just so she could say your ‘stalker’ was now hers.

She was just using him! Did Choso not see that?! 

Your beer pong partner slides his arm around you to tell you it’s your turn again but you don’t even spare him a backwards glance as you shrug him off. Abandoning the game and ignoring his puzzled calls after you. 

Truthfully it doesn’t even register as you are on your warpath with Choso and Brianna in your sights, stomping directly towards them like you were on a mission. You were too, as far as you were concerned, determined to break that shit up expeditiously. 

Especially now as you see Brianna airdropping her contact info to Choso.

Stopping directly in front of them you’re far too tipsy to prevent your souring mood from spreading all over your face when they both seem to not notice you right away.  

You loudly clear your throat.

“AHEM!”

Staring at Choso expectantly your lip curls when it's Brianna who greets you first instead.

“Oh Prez, my B girly! We didn’t notice you there!” 

“Whatever, Brie.”

You sneer at her. 

Although Brianna only giggles again, feigning innocence and leaning into Choso a bit more. 

The whore was still touching up on him.

“I was just keeping Cho here company until we found you.”

Bullshit, they were searching fo– Hol’ the fuck up—CHO?! 

Did this whore just call him Cho?! 

That was your fucking nickname for him! Only you and Yuji were allowed to call him that!

Oh Brianna was just begging for that ass whooping, dying for it even. 

Swaying on your feet, your buzz only intensifies your anger and folding your arms in front of you serves two purposes at the moment: 

To keep your balance as you try to prevent your heels from sinking into the grass— but more importantly— because the urge to yank a bitch was escalating to the point your hands were now twitching. 

You had drank way too much in your nervousness waiting for Choso.  

You thought a quick round of beer pong would settle your anxieties as you’d been hanging out near the front door all day and night not knowing when he’d show up. However time had slipped away from you and one game had turned into three. 

You didn’t even really know the guys you were playing with, just some random freshman!

Of course once you finally let your guard down Choso would not only show up but be hanging out with your biggest opp!

But what really had you about to crack—Choso was taking his sweet time in acknowledging you as he appeared to be more concerned with checking Brianna’s contact info than speaking to you right in front of him. “Ight, got it.” 

Choso confirmed and slid his phone back into his jacket before pulling out a joint as he finally made eye contact with you.

THE FUCK!? HE ACTUALLY SAVED IT?! 

Plug!Choso who stares at you with a condescending smirk as his eyes twinkled with sadistic amusement before exhaling smoke towards the sky.

You bite your cheek to hold back your angry tears, you weren’t about to give Brianna the satisfaction. She could fuck right the hell off as far as you were concerned, only wanting to speak to Choso who was currently looking at you like you were the one interrupting something.

“W-Why didn't you text me you were here?! I would have come outside!” 

Your words fumble out of you drunkenly, not sounding one bit as smooth and unbothered as you hoped.

“For why tho? Don’t you have me silenced anyway, Prez?”

You stiffened. 

Even if he wasn’t silenced right now you couldn’t deny you had previously silenced him before the last few weeks of trying to get him to talk to you. 

“Yea figured—so thought it’d be best to come inside…”

Choso exhales smoke through his nose this time, leering down at you as he passes the joint to Brianna who eagerly takes it.

“You really think I’m still tryna wait for you?”

Choso’s words are crushing as the double meaning behind them is not lost on you. Parting your glossed lips you couldn’t even form a sentence as your mouth had gone completely dry.

Brows raised Choso is practically daring you to challenge him. 

But you’re frozen. 

Ironic, because his eyes are all but intensely burning into yours as his accusingly cruel question penetrated you like a hot knife to butter. 

However, bringing you back, Brianna interrupts the moment—because of course she does—not being able to read the damn room nor handle the attention being away from her for 5 fucking seconds.

“You know Prez… You’re going to be pretty busy with all your responsibilities soon...”

Brianna taps her stiletto shaped nail to her lips in faux contemplation. Her smarmy expression gives away her true intentions resembling every bit of the evil bitch she is. 

“...Annnnnd it won’t look good for our lovely new president to put herself at risk by getting us drugs, right? Sooooo, I was telling Cho here how I’m going to be the one taking over for you now.”

Brianna coyly tucks a few loose strands of her long tawny locks behind her ear. 

“Who knows? I might be able to get a better discount than you too.”

Passing the blunt back to Choso she winks at him. Choso merely chuckles, shaking his head at the implications before taking another hit.

And yeah that’s what fucking did it alright.

More than ready to give Brianna exactly what the fuck she’d been asking for you wordlessly lunge forward to snatch her up by those raggedy ass microlink extensions she couldn’t stop touching.

However your trajectory is thrown when you feel Choso grab you by your wrist. Pulling you in towards him, the action confused both you and Brianna—who didn’t know how close she was to actually kissing dirt.

Choso passes the joint back to Brianna, telling her to keep it as a ‘sample’ he turns his attention back towards you.

“Come on Prez, I got places to be. Get me my money now before I charge your ass the full stack.”

You both leave Brianna standing there dumbfounded as Choso drags you back into the house. 

Plug!Choso guides you through the crowd of your sisters that are all now much too drunk and self-involved in their own good time to care about the pierced n’ scary dark haired man towing their president behind him. 

Reaching the staircase Choso motions for you to go ahead of him and you nod dumbly as you obediently climb the stairs trying not to trip. 

Urging you along, Choso is right on your tail— quite literally, as he tries to simultaneously avoid staring at your ass cheeks jiggling out from under your skirt—but more importantly tries to keep any other wandering eyes below from getting a peek as well. 

Choso places a hand on your waist, both to keep you from falling and to move you along quicker. Warm tingles radiate out from where his hands touch your bare skin yet he instantly releases you once you reach the top.

You can’t help but to pout at the loss of contact.

“Which one?”

Choso still feels all business though as he walks ahead of you like he can’t wait to wrap this up and get you the fuck out of his life again.

Plug!Choso who you usher into your room before closing the door. The party seems distant as only the faint sounds of the base bumping against the walls reach the sanctuary of your room. Still holding the knob you’re leaning with your back against the doorframe as your body is still pumping insane amounts of adrenaline through you. 

Nearly fighting Brianna, Choso finally touching you, on top of being drunk had your mind going into overdrive especially since it seemed like Choso would leave as soon as the deal was over.

Would he really take the money and go just like that?

Choso’s face is unreadable as he strolls deeper into your room and casually looks around. You had always come over to his place and he would have never in a million years dreamed of being able to see your room in your actual sorority house. 

It was so you though. 

Tidy and adorned in your favorite colors, your walls are decorated with pictures of celebrities, friends and various moodboards. Not to mention it smelled like you. The scent of your sugary perfume with notes of vanilla and saffron assaulted Choso's senses making it seem a bit warmer in the room than it actually was.

“Yo Prez, the money.” 

His patience for the situation is dwindling. He has to get out and fast. 

Choso doesn’t know what he’ll do if he doesn’t leave soon.

Yet you were plotting the exact opposite and you couldn’t let him leave so easily now that you finally had him alone after all this time. 

Armed with a plan you nod as you scoot by him and over to your vanity to retrieve the cash. Acting clueless as to which drawer you put it in, you search them all as you bend over to check one of the drawers at the very bottom. 

Choso swallows hard.

Your ass–with plenty of curves to spare–is on display for him as well as your sheer pink thong that teasingly pokes out between your crystal studded fishnets. 

You had to be doing this on purpose. 

Swishing side to side your skirt raises up a bit higher with every shift of your hips while your thong strains tighter across the print of your fat pussy lips threatening to snap altogether.

Akin to a seductive pendulum as you sway before Choso completely entrancing him. 

Only you could ever affect him in this way.

After what feels like years do you finally locate the money, a sizable stack of cash composed of 20 dollar bills.

“Found it! In the top drawer all along, imagine that!”

Smirking you plop down in your vanity chair crossing your legs not missing how Choso’s gaze lingered, even if just the tiniest moment, on your thighs.

“Took ya long enough…” 

Choso mumbles. There's no real bite to his words this time though. He’s holding his backpack close to hide his half chub while he removes 3 hefty bags of kush from his backpack to toss on the desk beside you.

Reaching for the cash his annoyance is evident on his face when you jerk away from him. Leaning back and fanning the bills across your chest, you wave them tauntingly in the air.

“Stop playin’ around. Not in the fuckin mood, I swear.”

“Playing?”

You question acting coy.

“This is just business right Choso?”

You sat up as if you were taking this seriously at all and Choso is unamused as he reaches for the money again. 

And you snatch it back yet again like a fucking brat. 

“I’m practically dropping a stack on this–thanks to your new “tax” and all. How do I know if it's any good?”

Clearly your plan is working as you continue to push Choso’s buttons pretending you aren’t excited from him towering over you now.

“Cut the games, Prez. Ya know my shit is always pressure.”

You act contemplative as your eyes lazily travel up his tense muscular form appreciating the view after not seeing him for so long.

“Hmmm, do I though?”

Choso scoffs, growing tired of your games. 

That’s all he ever was to you, a game.

“Like I said, just business. Or are you telling me you weren’t going to count the cash to make sure it's all there before you left?”

Damn. Well you got 'em there. 

Choso rubs the back of his neck before letting out a frustrated sigh.

“Tch—let’s make this quick then, Prez.”

Plug!Choso who after grabbing one of the bags of weed off your vanity takes a seat on your bed. He shrugs off his jacket to retrieve a pipe from the inner pocket and impatiently extends his hand hurrying you with a quick beckoning gesture.

“Gimme your grinder.”

Rolling your eyes you haphazardly toss it over to him. However, unbeknownst to you, the top was loose and crumbles of kush spilled out of it and onto your bed when he failed to catch it.

“Nice looking out Cho, great catch.”

Even though the poor throw and loose top had been your fault, the fact he apparently couldn’t wait to fucking leave along with you still pissed with how he flirted with Brianna makes you lash out. 

“You fucking serious right now? I’m always lookin’ out for your ungrateful ass.”

Obnoxiously you huff, crossing your arms and turning your head away from him.

Ungrateful? For what!? 

He hadn’t been ‘looking out’ for the last month, he’d been completely ignoring you! 

“Heh, like I didn't just stop you from turning that gouda chick into actual cheese from the way you went at her?”

You press your lips together firmly to keep from cracking a smile at his play on Brianna’s nickname. You’re honestly still salty he had even been around her at all getting so chummy. He’d always talked about how stupid your sorority sisters were, it didn’t make sense why he let her flirt with him like that.

You’re also mad he didn’t at least let you pop her one good time.

“The bitches name is Brie. You should know, you were ‘oh so concerned’ about saving her number and giving her a discount.”

Choso looks at you like you’re an idiot as he shakes his head. He stops packing the bowl to throw you his phone.

“Whose number?”

Frowning, you already know the passcode so you unlock it right away. 

Sure enough there was no Brie nor Brianna in his contact lists. Not even her number showed up when you searched his phone for it in case it was under a completely different alias. 

He’d never even saved it. 

The smug smirk on Choso’s face tells you he knew what she was doing all along and got you all riled up on purpose.

In fact, Choso had recognized Brianna’s ploy immediately. You had previously mentioned something about an annoying n’ bitchy rival. 

Besides, there was no other plausible reason for a dumb sorority bitch like her to be talking to him at all—much less throwing herself at him so aggressively.

“Doesn’t feel good now does it, Prez?”

Your face is on fire and you turn away from Choso totally humiliated. You had played right into his hands.

“Hmph! Don’t get cocky, I wanted a reason to beat her ass anyway.”

You puff your cheeks into a pout that Choso can’t help but to chuckle at, shaking his head at you again. 

You were a huge brat that's for damn sure.

“Well, it certainly looks like you found one.”

You’re quiet finally as you rake over his words in your mind. 

‘I’ve always been looking out for you.’

Not only did he not save Brianna’s number there’s a high probability he just kept you from being kicked out of the entire sorority and maybe school too. Fighting was a huge no-no and you could have gotten expelled. Apparently jealous with rage you were ready to risk it all at that moment without even thinking of the consequences. 

Fuck.

Choso had in fact still been looking out for you—even when you didn’t deserve it. 

Plug!Choso who accepts your silence is a sign of your defeat and after a few minutes you move from your desk to sit next to him on your bed as he finishes grinding and packing the bowl. 

“Brats get greens this time.”

I’m paying a premium for all this shit, I better get greens. 

But you hold in that thought, not wanting to give him any more lip in the moment as you’re the one left licking your wounds this time.

Like a gentleman Choso holds the bowl for you and lights it as you take a hit. He tries not to notice how well your glossed lips are wrapping around the phallic mouthpiece as searingly thick smoke flows into your lungs. 

Damn, this shit was dank as hell. 

You’re doing your best to hold it in but your lungs are burning as you watch Choso take a hit himself. Not being able to keep in your coughs for a second more you’re left signaling at Choso to ‘wait a sec’ when he holds the pipe out back to you.

Fuck, it was even stronger than what you remembered.

“See Prez? True pressure.”

You shrug at him trying to save face although your eyes are watering, already tinting a bright shade of red.

“Uhh duh, I always cough Choso. I’ll still need a few more hits to know for certain.”

Choso rolls his eyes.

You take another hit—a smaller one this time—before slowly falling back onto your bed.  

Your eyes close as your high settles in and you debate on what to say next without fucking things up even more with your slick ass mouth. 

However your concentration is diminishing quickly as your buzz makes your senses overly aware of Choso’s intense body heat radiating off him, your thighs practically touching. 

The weed swirling together with the alcohol in your system makes you all the more sensitive. Your mind floats away as your gaze is hyper focused on how the lean muscles of Choso’s toned back and broad shoulders ripple under the thin black tee he wears.

God, Choso is so sexy. 

Your legs squeeze together to calm the burning in your core just from the thought. You want nothing more than to drag him down to bed with you and melt into his embrace—but there's an invisible force field around him that you can’t reach. 

You’re almost certain he would recoil from you if you tried now. 

There’s a conversation you needed to have first but you didn’t know how to start it without fucking things up even more. 

The result is an awkward silence that uncomfortably settles in the room as Choso finishes the bowl off himself. 

Never one to smoke too much of his own product he’s only indulging now to temper his mood. 

Choso doesn’t know why he’s still here, all good sense in him telling him to take the money and get the hell out. Yet he knows he’s hoping for something–anything–to show him you’ve changed even though all signs so far tonight have been showing him you haven’t.

You’re still cowering away from any accountability and he is determined not to give you an easy out this time. 

And it’s for that exact reason Choso can’t look over at you right now.

Otherwise he’s sure to see your tiny pink top that had started to roll up exposing the glitter adorned skin of your underboob. Or how your slow exhales cause your soft stomach to dip temptingly showing off the pink crystal belly button ring he gave you. 

The sight of your fishnets brushing against one another out of the corner of his eye alone is enough to know he wouldn’t be able resist grasping onto your supple thighs. God how he would relish the way his fingers would indent into them. He wanted to rip those slutty fishnets right off of you so his head could push your skirt up even further on your hips while he drowned himself in your wet cunt—not even stopping when you would cry from overstimulation.

Plug!Choso, who is thankful his distraction at long last comes in the form of the faded gray blue fabric by your pillow. 

“Yo!..is that my shit?”

Eyes opening wide, you pale upon seeing Choso reach for the crumpled up shirt. Choso unravels the tee to confirm it is in fact his shirt—one of his favorite band tees at that. 

“Oh, is that yours?”

Choso deadpans.

“So you listen to RHCP now?”

“Maybe…” 

You grab it from him and toss it to the side less you break down and confess to him you had slept in it most nights. Not only have you slept in it but you do in fact listen to RHCP now, especially when you workout.

However with this Choso has hit his limit. 

To him you hadn’t changed. 

Could you not even own up to the tiniest of things?

He couldn’t let himself get sucked back into your toxic web, not anymore. The longer he stayed the more likely that was.

“S’all good, Prez. Keep it.”

Choso grabs his jacket.

“Listen, I gotta g–”

“—w-wait!” 

You grab the other end of his jacket. You still find it difficult to find the right words but you had to say something. 

It was now or never.

“W-Wait… ah, at least before you go…l-let me know how Yuji’s game went?”

You meekly ease into the question but see Choso go ridgid at the mention regardless. 

For now he relents and stays seated. Although a few minutes pass before he speaks.

“He won, of course. MVP of the season.”

You smile genuinely at that but Choso isn’t looking at you— too pained by the memories that began to bubble up again like bile in his throat.

“Awe, that's so great! I knew he would! I’m so happy for him.”

Choso grits his teeth as he turns back to you, his anger evident in his entire being as every muscle in him flexes.

“Are you? So that’s how you treat someone you’re happy for? Really?!”

He doesn’t give you the chance to respond.

“Yuji’s a strong kid— much stronger than me. Honestly, I didn’t even think he minded you weren’t there as he was all focus and excitement to play that day—”

You let out a quiet exhale in relief though any consolation you felt was instantly shattered as Choso continued. 

“But when I put him to bed that night. H-He..He’d asked why you weren’t there…He asked if you were gone now like our parents. Yuji wouldn’t believe you’d miss it otherwise.”

Choso struggles to say the last bit and maintain eye contact with you. 

Every moment you gaze into his eyes though was pure torture as you’re racked with even more guilt.

“Choso I–”

“I’m so fuckin’ tired of all your fuckin’ excuses!”

You’re silent. It’s so strange to see him this upset you don’t know what to say.

“I’d ask you if you’d even considered the abandonment issues that kid already carries but you don’t. You don’t fill that fuckin’ superficial lil’ head of yours with anything beyond yourself!”

Finishing what he had to say, Choso gathers up his jacket and backpack, stuffing it full with the stack of cash on the vanity—not even bothering to count it.

Momentarily dumbfounded, you're scrambling from the bed to block his path. 

“C-Come on, Choso! I didn’t want to abandon him or you! I tried to call you and I texted you so much these past few weeks to talk!”

Choso isn’t impressed.

“And not one text actually had the words ‘I’m sorry’ in it. Not that it would have cut it this time.”

You're reduced to silence for the umpteenth time tonight. 

You wreck your brain knowing most of your texts had been focused on baiting him to respond to you but fuck—did you really not even apologize? 

“But I am sorry!”

Choso’s gaze is cold and distant, so foreign in comparison to the warmth you’d taken for granted before.

“Whatever you say, Prez.”

There it is again. You’ve grown to resent the title, the job, everything about it.

“Just stop calling me that, okay?!”

You’re trying hard to fight back the tears that threateningly pool in the corners of your eyes.

“What...Prez? Why, it aint all that they cracked it up to be?”

“N-No… it’s n-not… I actually hate it and I hate being here.”

Your voice is hardly above a whisper as you direct your words towards the ground. You didn't want Choso to see your glassy eyes even if he’d noticed the cracks in your voice. 

Plug!Choso who regards you with skepticism but curiosity nonetheless. So at long last you decided to be honest with both him and yourself aloud for the first time.

But it didn’t mean shit if you wouldn’t do something about it.

“Then quit.”

Choso says to you like it’s the most obvious answer in the world as your head snaps up incredulously.

“H-huh? W-What?!”

“You heard me princess— quit.”

Could you really just quit? 

Truthfully, you had never considered it an option. The expectations put on you by your sorority sisters, your parents and the plans you had made for yourself had all led you to the commitments and responsibilities you had now. 

How could you just let them all down by walking away from it all?  

“Choso— I heard you..b-but I can’t, you don’t understand I–”

“—No, I understand better than you do, princess. You spent so much time with me and Yuji because you hate this sorority bullshit, you can’t stand any of these bitches and now you just agreed to be president of your own goddamn misery!”

Reading you for filth, Choso stares at you expectantly but you avoid his gaze.

Your nails suddenly becoming all the more interesting as you fumble with them.  

“–Ight then.”

Choso doesn’t want to argue with you any longer. 

You’re still full of excuses to his disappointment. If you wanted to be something you weren't that badly, then that was your own prerogative he decided as he brushed past you.

“N-No! P-Please, don’t leave Cho!”

There's clear desperation in your voice. You cling to him, burying your head into the middle of his back as your shaky hands weave their way around his midsection. 

Choso is mid-twist on the doorknob. 

He had all intentions of leaving if you still weren't being honest with yourself about things.

Still does. 

Yet his determination is wavering from your hot tears begin to seep through his shirt and trickle down his spine. The warmth of your body—now flattened against his—causes your pert nipples to poke into his back while your delicate fingers wretchedly grasp onto his taunt abs like a lifeline. 

Like you actually needed him in your life.

Fucking hell, you didn’t play fair at all.

But he couldn’t forgive you just to hurt him again and especially not Yuji.

“Let go.”

“No.”

“I said let go!”

“NO!”

Choso easily pries you off of him, spinning you around as your back slams against the door pinning you in place. His hands encircle your arms and extend out fully so he could put some distance between the two of you. 

He couldn’t think straight when you were all over him. 

Your world is a blur and in your crossfaded state you are left with vertigo at the sudden shift of positions. Both you and Choso are left panting at the intensity of it all.

“You don’t listen to anyone do you?! You just do whatever the fuck you want…”

Choso’s face is red with anger and your eyes—already reddened from your high—take on a deeper shade as you are now openly bawling in front of him.

“Tch, why are you the one crying? This is how you want things, right?!”

You shake your head, unable to communicate beyond your pitiful sobs. 

Choso grows more and more frustrated as the guilt he is feeling battles with his more rational mind prompting him to still be angry with you despite your tears. Back and forth his mind races until it all bubbles over and—

“—You don’t think I know I’m not good enough for you!?”

Your teary eyes widen at the sudden admission. 

Choso even startles himself with his own confession he’d been holding in all this time. 

“But not Yuji...He’s already so much better than me! He’s gonna actually be something one day. He doesn’t deserve to be treated like that.”

Your lip quivers and your pleas are almost unintelligible.

“I-I know…m’s-sorry…m-m’so sorry C-Choso!”

Choso exhales deeply and shoulders slump forward as he releases you, running a hand over his face and back through his raven locks.

You couldn't read his expression but you didn't want him to attempt to leave you again as you close the gap between you, arms encircling him once more.

Choso doesn’t push you away, yet to his credit he doesn't return your embrace either as he’s still torn.

“I-I missed y-you so m-much.”

Cursing the hold you have over him Choso can’t deny he still wants to be with you—but you both were at an impasse.

Nothing good would come from repeating the same cycle again. 

There is no resolution if you still want to keep up a front. 

“P-Please forgive me Cho—I-I love you.”

The sweet proclamation is accentuated by your pillowy lips spreading kisses over his chest while the tips of your fingers slip up his shirt to place feather light scratches at the small of his back. 

Love, eh?

An unexpected revelation dawns on Choso and he is now resolved in what he has to do. 

“Yeah princess, you really love me?” 

Oblivious to the danger edging in his voice, you nod as you continue to coo affectionate words and affirmations into his chest. One of your legs hitches around his as you mold yourself deeper into him thinking he’d finally forgiven you. 

Had he forgiven you though? 

Well, not exactly. 

A devious smirk appears across Choso’s features.

Choso had come to the conclusion that at the end of the day you were simply a terrible people pleaser. 

Your stuck up bratty nature was merely a front of false confidence. 

You tried so hard to become whatever anyone else wanted you to be, you'd lie to yourself and become utterly miserable in your efforts to appease those around you. 

However, Choso knew the version of you he’d gotten when you’d been with him and Yuji had been the real you. 

And he actually did believe you loved him— even if you had just forced yourself to say it in the moment so you could manipulate him into staying.

Sympathetic to your pitiful nature, Choso wouldn’t just abandon you. 

But if you couldn’t do what was best for you, he would make sure you would himself.

PART 3

⋙ ©blkkizzat 2024. do not steal works or gfx, do not translate.

⋙ I'm about halfway through P3, its 5.5k already lol. stick with me though cause pt 3 is the nasty brat taming smut we all are waiting for! if i tagged you here i will tag you again for p3 but im still adding new people to tag list so lmk in comments or reblogs if you'd like to be added. trying to focus to finish this but my adhd might distract me into writing a quick gojo fic but if i do i will finish this right after!

⋙tags: (ps ty for all the sweet comments for those who joined my overall writing tag list yall legit had me in tears ilysm!) @nkogneatho @toji-girl-main @RoyaltyAndRoses @aydene @slowlyshycomputer @bontensbabygirl @yoonjinhusbands @anxious-chick @kashxyou @halosdiary @littlemochabunni @ryomens-vixen @buttercupblu @tonycries @lowkeyremi @strawberrygirl0 @crybaby-herbalist @rintcrous @bomboclakkk @anubisisthebomb @alwaysfreakingout @oeanonyme @chrys23 @spltbtch @uranometrias @officialsimpp @crispycatt @purple-obsidian my-jukebox @peachyharts111 @thedorklingqueen @sugurusprettygirl @scarasw1f3 @kgorethz @c1truswh4re @madaqueue

[jibunbosh]

Mesmerizer is a satire of TikTok, YouTube Shorts, and the rest of the modern short-form vertical video format

A brief thematic analysis.

I'm sure there are countless people already interpreting the imagery and details in this wonderful song & MV, like here and here, so I won't spend too much time retreading that ground. Miku and Teto are dancing. Miku gets hypnotized. Teto signals for help, but gets hypnotized at the end as well.

That part is obvious enough, but that's still pretty surface-level. What is this seemingly hyperspatial horror scenario supposed to mean to us?

While checking to see if anyone before me's already come to the same conclusions as I did and if I should bother not writing this text post at all (lol), I came across udin's great analysis video. She comes to the conclusion that the song tackles themes of disillusionment with reality and the ways we indulge in escapism to relieve ourselves of the pains of the world.

I agree with that reading! From practically the very beginning, we have Miku call to us - the viewer - to push away our true feelings. Teto comes in to peddle a solution, inviting us to surrender and empty our minds - in her words, "pretending to know nothing."

You, the viewer, are a critical character in this masquerade. For nearly the entire video, Miku and Teto's eyes are unfailingly trained on you. Or, well... perhaps they can't actually see you, but they can see a camera, or whatever other aperture the point of view is supposed to be from. And they know they're being watched. (Who else would Teto be sending distress signals to?)

Let's put a pin on that for later.

udin notes very early on that Miku and Teto are, conspicuously, kept in vertical frames - very similar to the video formats of TikTok (and Instagram Reels, and YouTube Shorts, and whatever other clones of the format exist.) You know, just like the animator Caststation's Rabbit Hole fan MV that went viral some months ago.

Hey wouldn't it be crazy if the song's producer, 32ki, released Mesmerizer shorts too haha. Wouldn't that be crazy.

Wow, wild.

These short-term vertical videos are captivating & alluring. If you're reading this, it's more likely than not that you've also found yourself caught up in them at least once, scrolling through the infinite algorithmic slurry and forgetting about the real-life issues you have at hand. Would you say, then, that you felt hypnotized? Mesmerized, even?

And so these two invite us to join their world and focus on the... uh... rectangle.

Their dances are repetitive, following the same loop. Their outfits are distinct, but their choreography isn't. They're copying the same formula, repeating it ad nauseam to the best of their ability.

They're doing a fucking TikTok dance.

Back to the pin I told you about earlier, with Miku and Teto looking at a camera.

Miku sways with the camera, eyes looking directly at it like a swinging pocket watch. She's been looking at it the entire time, after all. We've been seeing her via our screen this entire time, but, again, she doesn't necessarily see us. She's beholden to the camera, which she dances for day after day, caught up in its spell. She's hypnotized by it. Eventually, she breaks.

Teto, on the other hand, resists. For a while, anyway.

Despite her being the one jumping to us with the "solution" at the beginning of the MV, there's very quickly good reason to question how much agency she has in this. She dances for the camera as well, but she doesn't want to. She's signalling for help. She wants out.

Many content creators (as much as I personally loathe the non-specificity and soullessness of the term) have struggled with the adaptation to the short-form video format, and the preference the algorithm has had for these captivating, bite-sized videos. They're catchy, and easily drive up metrics. Practically anyone who's publishing their work via video format online needs to learn to adapt or fall behind, even if that means whittling their content down to fit the frame, the time, and people's shortening attention spans. Sometimes, that means compromising on specificity and completeness... or, in other words, the true representation of a full work.

The song's writer, 32ki, has been releasing songs on YouTube for several years. Their first YouTube Short, however, was posted only a year ago: a short, whittled-down segment of their previous song, CIRCUS PANIC!!!, hoping for it to win the ProsekaNEXT song contest. It was their first song to achieve widespread popularity and hit a million views.

The shorts, however, aren't the "true" versions of the song. The full song just won't fit.

We're being mesmerized as consumers of this endless stream of content, rather than appreciators of music and art. However, that relationship isn't completely symmetrical across the plane that is the 4th wall. Miku and Teto are trapped not by their attention spans, but by a compulsion to project their "truthful acting" and peddle that window into a colorful, problem-free world.

We, as the collective audience, need not dwell on any one thing for too long - we need only swipe, and move on to the next video. However, Miku and Teto are trapped behind the screen for eternity, day after day.

They're the only characters we get to see, of course. There's no evil 3rd voice synth character that's plotting to keep them trapped in there. We can't put a face to whatever force is hypnotizing them and trapping them behind the screen. It's faceless - like the inscrutable algorithms of YouTube recommendations or the TikTok For You page, or the impersonal corporations that develop & maintain those aforementioned apps. Miku and Teto's likenesses, on the other hand, are being exploited and extracted from for their entertainment value, being strung along by that metaphorical hypnotizing force like puppets on a string.

Many people, represented by Miku, enjoy their success on such platforms. It's freeing and liberating to throw oneself wholeheartedly into such an endeavor, of course! Others, represented by Teto, harbor their doubts of the emotional veracity of such a medium, but know they have little choice lest they face destruction... perhaps not literally as a person, but as an idea.

Wouldn't it be easier just to let oneself be swept away by it and give in?

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

BG3 Companions (& Halsin) Realizing That Their GN! Tav Might Have PMDD

Characters: GN! Reader! Tav; Astarion; Gale; Wyll; Shadowheart; Karlach; Lae’zel; Halsin

Pairing(s): None, but it’s written as All Companions x Tav so if you have a romanced companion you prefer, you can imagine they have most of Tav’s favor. 

A/N: This is a highly indulgent imagine that absolutely NO ONE asked for (besides me lol) but I felt compelled to write it because I’ve been really struggling lately with some extreme PMS symptoms for the last few months or so. I don’t have a PMDD diagnosis yet or anything, but in looking up my symptoms I read about it and wanted to write this comfort piece for it. I kept Tav as gender-neutral as possible in this, but they do have a very active and very angry uterus in this.

TW: Discussion of Menstruation (Bleeding, Cramps/ Abdominal Pain), PMS, and PMDD Symptoms (Including Depression & Thoughts of Suicide) [Note: No one actually says ‘PMDD’, or Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder but that is the syndrome implied]; Brief Mentions of Sex (also small text)

Word Count: 3.7k

“Have any of you seen Tav lately?” Astarion asked, coming to sit next to a handful of his fellow companions seated around their camp’s fire. 

“Why? Has something else gone wrong?” Shadowheart teased back from where she lay against a log, a goblet of half-drunk wine in her hand. “Or perhaps, you’re looking for a bite to eat?” 

“Ha-ha,” Astarion mock laughed. “‘Bite,’ because I’m a vampire, how hilarious Shadowheart.” 

“I don’t know Astarion,” Gale countered from where he was perched on the other side of the former Sharran devotee, “I’d wager you secretly found it rather punny.” 

“Ugh,” Astarion wrinkled his nose at Gale’s words, failing to hide the amused smile that graced his lips. “Honestly Gale, as if the orb isn’t enough.”

Astarion, having lost interest in sitting next to his companions, settled for standing, crossing his arms, and jutting out one hip in his signature semi-annoyed pose.

“Come now Astarion, you can’t say Gale’s love for language comes as a surprise,” Wyll joined the conversation, sheathing his blade after having used Lae’zel’s whetstone to sharpen it. “Why I’d wager even Lae’zel can attest that in the farthest reaches of the Githyanki galaxy, the repetition of a wizard’s sharpened tongue precedes them.” 

Lae’zel huffed affirmatively, taking the opportunity to sharpen her sword. “Tchk. The Blade is right. It is no secret that wizards cannot help but run their mouths.” 

Karlach, having been seated quite literally in the middle of the conversation, from where she lay next to the campfire flames, burst out laughing, sitting up with a start. 

Shadowheart and Astarion couldn’t help but chuckle as well. 

Lae’zel’s eyes glowered as she looked at her other companions. “I do not see the cause for such antics” 

“Yes! Thank you Lae’zel!” Gale spoke up, wagging a finger in protest at the display of his friends. “A wizard’s intellectual prowess is no laughing matter.” 

“That which you discuss has yet to be seen.” Lae’zel rebuffed Gale yet again. 

“Pfft!” Shadowheart nearly choked on her drink as Karlach resumed her boisterous laughter, Wyll joining in this time as well. 

“Enjoying a night of merriment, are we?” Halsin’s deep voice cut through the laughs, his large form coming into view as the Druid emerged from the tree line. Shirtless, and still dripping, his presence brought a warm air to the camp, despite the night’s chilled air. 

“We certainly are now,” Astarion purred, admiring the druid’s half-naked form. 

“Mhhm,” Shadowheart took another sip of her wine. “For once, Astarion,  I’d have to agree.” 

Completely comfortable in his nudity, and unintimidated by the other’s ogling, Halsin strutted confidently over to where his fellow companions had gathered around the fire. “I had just finished bathing when Tav came to the lakeside. Said they were going to take a bath to unwind before bed.” 

“I’m surprised they didn’t ask you to join them,” Astarion mused, eyes still raking up and down Halsin’s sculpted form. 

Halsin gave a half smirk at the compliment, but his mood remained subdued. “They seemed upset. I offered to stay with them, even just to chat, but they insisted they wished to be left alone.“ 

Frowning, Gale scanned the faces of his companions, looking for a negative reaction, finding a similar dower one had made its way across Wyll’s and Karlach’s features. 

Looking to Karlach for solidarity, Wyll spoke up first: “Has anyone noticed Tav to be much more despondent as of late?” 

Karlach nodded. “Yesterday as well. Hells, it’s so odd to see them so down in the dumps. They’re usually leading the charge in making sure the rest of us are happy.”

“Has something changed? Perhaps Raphael contacted them yet again?” Gale supposed. 

Shadowheart shook her head. “Not that I know of. Besides, even if he did, this feels too familiar to just be a coincidence.” 

Lae’zel resheathed her newly sharpened blade before stalking over to the Selunite priestess. “Tchk. If you have something to share ghustil, say it outright.” 

Shadowheart rolled her eyes at the quarrelsome nature of Lae’zel’s words but continued speaking nonetheless. “If I recall correctly, a similar thing happened a while back, a few weeks perhaps.” 

“Yes,” Wyll joined. “I remember Tav crying after one of our battles.” 

“Come now,” Gale countered. “That’s hardly a mystery. It’s completely understandable why they might break down every now and then. It’s been a hard few months, even for a leader as strong as Tav.” 

“Perhaps,” Wyll relented. “Although, I can’t recall Tav giving a specific reason for their meltdown.” 

“‘Reason’?” Asatrion scoffed. “How about the fact that we’re all infected with Mindflayer parasites which could hatch at any moment? On top of which we are expected to destroy this Absolute death cult, lest all of Baldur’s Gate be turned into a tentacle wasteland!” 

“It is enough to make one’s blood run cold.” Gale agreed. 

“I do think Shadowheart may have a point.” Halsin put his two cents in. “I do recall around two months ago, Tav coming to me for healing, relief for abdominal cramps.”

“Oh, well that settles it, doesn’t it? It’s merely that ‘time of the month’, rather unfortunate and annoying, but hardly devastating for our capable leader.” Astarion sounded unconvinced, as he looked down to admire his recently shaped fingernails. 

Halsin shook his head. “I sensed there was more they wished to request aid for. They were holding something back. What exactly and why, I am unsure.” 

“Maybe they’ve just got a tough go of it. I know my whole body was thrown entirely out of whack waking up in Avernus. It took years for me to feel like myself again.” Karlach gestured at her many scars as she did so. 

All the time, Lae’zel had been listening intensely, a curious look across her face. “What is this ‘time of the month’?” She repeated. “Is it another,” she paused, making sure to pronounce the following word right, “Tiefling trait?” 

Karlach shook her head. “We’re not exempt from it,” she replied honestly. “But no, it’s not just tieflings.” 

“You mean to tell me that female Githyanki don’t have periods?” Shadowheart asked, having thrown all her pretenses out along with the last of her wine. 

“As I have said before ghustil, we do not become parents through sex. When it is time, we are chosen by Vlaakith to lay the eggs of our young.” 

“And this, ‘egg-laying’, as you call it… it, isn’t um, gender specific?” Gale, ever the wizard, just had to know. 

“No. Sex is irrelevant. The only thing of importance is whether you are called by Vlaakith to bear that which houses her future children.” 

“... Right,” Gale answered, feeling rather queasy. “I think that’s all I’d like to know if you don’t mind.”  

“Can we please get back to the point?” Astarion interrupted, rather impatient. “Tav is spiraling or having a mental breakdown or something, and apparently, only the Cleric and Druid noticed, how cliche.” 

 “Alright, Astarion. What do you suggest?” Wyll asked. 

“Well, obviously we need to find out what’s wrong with them so we can fix it.” 

“If it is this ‘time-of-month’, then why not stop it before it comes? You know when it nears, why not strike it down before it starts?” Lae’zel suggested, still not fully understanding what a ‘period’ was for a human. 

“That may not solve all the difficulties Tav is experiencing.” Halsin finally pulled his shirt back over his head, much to the others' collective disappointment. “There is more, although I am uncertain if I should share it, as Tav shared it with me in confidence.” 

“If it could help us help Tav, perhaps it is best to share this once?” Gale suggested. “Normally, I’m not one for shifting loyalties, but I too, have some things I think it’s better I share with the group.” 

“Now that you mention it, I do recall Tav saying something off-color last night,” Astatrion added. 

“What did they say?” Karlach asked.

“They mentioned they had been feeling rather down. Really down. So down, that they, well…” Astarion gave an exasperated huff, clearly uneasy with the topic. “...Tav said that sometimes, they feel like giving up.” 

“What did you tell them?” Wyll asked, encouraging Astarion to go on. 

“I said of course they feel like that! I mean who wouldn't? Between the Mindflayer parasites, the constant goblin attacks, the thieves, and the looming threat of this Absolute Cult, who wouldn't want to lie down for a few hundred years or so?” 

“I must admit, Tav’s confession to me a few months back was similar in nature,” Gale attested. “They expressed how defeated they felt as if nothing they did mattered. All the battles, all the small victories, it didn’t change anything. The Absolute was still going strong, the threat of the world’s end still looming… They asked me if any of it was worth it.” 

Halsin nodded. “I fear I was told more of the same. Tav divulged that they sometimes wondered if I, if we, would fare better on our journey without them.”

A silence fell over the companions, a cerebral, unsettling kind of silence, the kind one could feel resonating, laden within one's bones. 

“Shit,” Karlch said, the first to speak. “I mean, I knew they were upset sometimes, but I just figured we all were.” 

“Halsin,” Shadowheart started, gently. “When Tav told you they thought we’d be better off without them, what did you say?” 

“I embraced them and told them that in no uncertain terms, we needed them to lead us. I reminded Tav how amazing they are, and how, even though they themselves cannot see it, they are truly a marvel to behold. I expressed gratitude for them saving The Grove, for making peace between the tieflings and the druids.”

Wyll nodded along to Halsin’s words, recalling all that he and Tav had managed to accomplish together in such a short time, despite all the odds stacked against them. 

Halsin cleared his throat, swallowing down an ardent wave of emotion that threatened to escalate before he continued: “Lastly, I told them how I felt about them, how we all felt about them, and that should they ever require reminding, they need only ask.” 

From where he stood, Astarion sulked, a guilty expression making its way across his face. “I, I didn’t know. Godsdammit! I should have seen…”

“You cannot blame yourself Astarion.” Halsin did his best to assure his pale elf friend. “Even with Tav’s confession, I fear I did not heed their words the way I should have. Perhaps if I connected the dots more quickly, if I recorded the dates of their depressive episodes, we could have come to this conclusion weeks ago.” 

“What conclusion is that exactly?” Lae’zel enquired. “You say it is not this ‘time-of-month’, and yet, you make no other claims. What cause do you reference?” 

“It’s rare, but sometimes it happens that a human’s reproductive organs seemingly conspire against them,” Gale answered. “Well, more than is to be expected, I should clarify.” 

“Ah. So it is inferior istik reproductive organs to blame for our dear leader’s shakiness. Then perhaps they need be cut out.” 

“Lae’zel!” Gale gasped. 

Lae’zel crossed her arms as if to say ‘what’? 

“It needn’t come to that,” Halsin cut in, diffusing the situation. “That is not to say it’s not a possibility, but only in the most dire and extreme cases.” 

“Yes,” Shadowheart agreed. “And despite my being a cleric and Halsin being a druid, neither one of us is qualified for such procedures.” 

Lae’zel took a moment to process their words. “Indeed, I see. In that case, it is wise that that scalpel-wielding bard is not currently accompanying us. Vlaakith knows his surgical skills are nothing more than mere talk, given his removal of Tav’s eye.” 

“... Is that a joke?” Astarion asked, dumbfounded at Lae’zel’s choice of deadpan delivery amid such a dire discussion.   

“Do not look so surprised shka'keth, I am considered most humorous amongst my people.” 

“You know what?” Wyll butt in, “That, I do believe.” 

 Astarion scoffed. “Well, perhaps, Lae’zel could use her humor to cheer Tav up. Unless any of you have any other ideas?” 

“I think perhaps it would be better for us to sit Tav down for a heart-to-heart. Remind them how much they mean to us.” The Blade of Frontiers did not beat around the bush. 

“I agree,” Halsin seconded. “Perhaps the message coming from us all would be better received than it was coming from me alone.” 

“It’s worth a try,” Karlach agreed. “Gods know we care about them. And there’s no way we would have gotten this far without them.” 

“The tiefling is right. Tav may be istik, but they are still our leader.” Lae’zel spoke up, roused by her companions' sudden ire. “We have a duty to them to finish this, to cleanse these parasites from our bodies and destroy The Absolute.”

Shadowheart sighed, before righting herself and walking over to Lae’zel’s side. “If Lae’zel’s in, then I might as well join. Wyll, what about you? Up for an intervention?” 

Wyll looked at Karlach, catching her eye. Following a triumphant smirk from Karlach, the duo nodded their respective affirmations before joining Halsin, Astarion, Lae’zel, and Shadowheart where they stood. 

And that just left…

“Gale? Care to join us? Or will you be too busy pinning over your ex-goddess girlfriend?” Astarion ribbed. 

Gale shook his head, Astarion’s antics not being a new experience for him at all. 

“I’m not pining, and, even if I were, Tav is much more important at the moment. Why, in fact,” Gale’s voice got quieter, more serious, “Some nights I fear I would give up The Weave, hells, even eternity if it meant Tav would be happy.” 

No one else said anything in response, they didn't need to. It was clear to all of them, that they all loved Tav deeply, even on the days, or weeks Tav couldn't find any love for themselves. 

“Do you think Tav would be done bathing by now? Not that I’d mind getting a little peak, though I’m not sure how they’d feel about that.” Astarion mused. 

“Astarion,” Wyll warned.

“I’m only kidding. Mostly.” 

“I’m sure they’ll be back shortly. Let us prepare what we wish to say so that when they do arrive-” Halsin started, but was cut off by a rustling coming from just beyond the treeline. 

“Wait,” Tav’s voice cut through the air, a welcome bit of color amidst an otherwise chilly night, “Who’s arriving?” 

“Tav!” The companions turned in shock, feeling sheepish, as if they had just been caught in the act. 

“We were hoping you’d return soon,” Shadowheart admitted. 

“There are some things we’d like to discuss,” Gale added. 

Tav pinched the bridge of their nose. “Dammit Astarion, did you go around trying to bite everyone again? We’ve talked about this.” They let out an exasperated sigh. 

“What? Why-?! How dare you accuse me of such a thing!” Astarion puffed his chest up, making himself appear larger. “I’ll have you know we were actually discussing-” 

“We’re worried about you soldier,” Karlach interrupted Astarion’s indignant outburst. “We see how hard this has been on you, on all of us.” 

“We want you to know,” Wyll continued the sentiment for her, “That we care about you. And whatever hardships you endure, we’ll endure them with you.” 

“Oh.” 

Their companion’s words stopped Tav dead in their tracks. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know. And um, that’s really sweet of you. It’s just,” Tav frowned, “How do I put this? Um… As far as The Absolute and the Mindflayers are concerned, I’m grateful for your help, I am, really. But there are just some things that are-”

“Private,” Astarion finished for Tav. He walked over to Tav, before lowering his voice, speaking only to them. “I think you know,” he whispered, his expression suddenly melancholy, “Better than anyone, why each one of us knows how you feel.” 

And with that, the damn burst, Tav simply couldn't hold it in any longer. 

Their face contorted. They bit their lip before their mouth turned upside down, their nose wrinkled, and their eyes began to water. 

“It’s just been so hard!” Tav cried, their own voice barely more than a whisper. “And just when I think things are okay, that I’m finally better, it all just comes crashing down around me again!” Tav sobbed, their arms dropping to their sides in defeat. 

Moving to comfort them, Astarion placed a tentative hand on their shoulder, gently patting Tav with a ‘there-there’. His eyes darted back to his companions, a begging, uncomfortable look evident on his face. 

Karlach moved first, coming to Tav’s side opposite Astarion. Despite her engine being temporarily fixed, she knew her skin was still hot to the touch. Still, Karlach hoped her closeness would be its own comfort. 

“We’ve got you soldier.” Karlach wrapped the end of her tiefling tail around Tav’s calf. “Just let it all out, it’s okay.” 

Tav sobbed even harder at her words, pulling a rather flustered Astarion in for a tight embrace. 

“Ah. A little help over here!” Astarion whispered harshly past Tav’s ear, their face wedged between his arms and chest, and their tears and snot beginning to dampen his shoulder. 

Shadowheart chuckled, amused that despite him being such a flirt when he wanted, Astaron was still rather unfamiliar with the more platonic, or should she say, non-sexual forms of intimacy. “Step aside.”

Moving over to the huddle sandwich that was Astarion, Tav, and Karlach, Shadowheart wedged her way in between Astarion and Tav. “Just try not to drool too much on my top. It is leather after all.” 

“Tchck, Shadowheart.” Lae’zel chided. She walked over to the huddle, standing a safe six inches away, her arms crossed and brows furrowed. “Clothes are meaningless compared to a fellow soldier.” 

“I’m surprised I find myself agreeing, but Shadowheart, Lae’zel does have a point,” Gale concluded. “Tav’s emotional state is much more important than any item of clothing, or inanimate object.” 

“Says the wizard who eats shoes,” Astarion ribbed from under his breath. 

Gale clicked his tongue at the vampire spawn’s remark, but otherwise paid his pale companion no mind. 

“Besides,” Gale continued, undeterred. “I can always do another load of laundry. Should you ever need a shoulder to cry on, know that mine will always be available, tears or otherwise.” 

Tav nodded, enthusiastically grateful, switching from Shadowheart’s shoulder to Gale’s. 

Sighing, as the cool purple velvet rubbed against their cheek, Tav began to slow their breathing, gaining better control of the sobs that had previously uncontrollably wracked their body. 

“We may not know exactly what it is you’re going through, but that doesn’t make you any less of a leader worthy of our time and affection,” Wyll spoke up as he came to join the hug pile. “And sharing your fears and sadness does not make you a burden, it makes you strong.” 

Tav wailed once more, nodding emphatically as they did so. Deep down, they knew all that their friends had shared to be true, but they were not able to convince themselves of it on their own. 

“And if this sadness of yours comes at the same time every month, it may indicate a hormonal condition. Should that be the case, there are many treatments and spells we can cast to ease your pain.” 

“Really?” Tav asked through sniffles. 

“Indeed,” Halsin nodded, having walked over to also join his gathered companions. “Although there is something simpler, something I always have readily available.” 

“Don’t you dare—” Astarion started. 

At the same time Lae’zel spoke her own words of protest: “Do it druid, and you may very well live to regret it.” 

Tav ignored their outbursts and instead asked Halsin what he had in mind. 

“This,” he said, before outstretching his arms and encompassing everyone in a great big bear hug. 

Squished between their dear companions, their friends, their allies in this fight, and the next, Tav, for the first time in days, began to feel truly loved. 

The world may have looked bleak and hopeless, and with a raging uterus, it may have looked even more so, but as long as Tav had their friends, they would never know true defeat. 

…

Squashed between an equally irate Githyanki and a rather sentimental wizard, Astarion wriggled, trying to break free, but to no avail. Turning his head left to face his frog-esque friend, Astarion whispered threats under his breath.  

“I say the next time he wildshapes into a bear, we put a pretty pink collar around his neck and march him into town as punishment.”

“Chk. I find that offer rather agreeable.” 

“I dunno. I rather like this kind of medicinal approach.” Karlach said, feeling overjoyed to simply be touched. 

“You know he can hear you, right?” Wyll, ever the pragmatist, spoke from across the expanse of Halsin’s broad chest in order to address Astarion. 

Halsin nodded in the affirmative upon hearing Wyll’s words.

Astarion groaned. “Well, clearly he has now!” 

“And here I thought vampires were stealthy.” Shadowheart teased. 

“Oh, trust me, darling, all of your times shall come. Count on it!” 

“Astarion?” Tav‘s muffled voice asked from where their face was squished into Gale’s chest. 

Tav managed to pull their head away from Gale’s purple robe just long enough to give Astarion their best puppy-dog-eyed look. “Be nice? Pleaseeee?” They drew out the end of the ‘please,’ innocently batting their eyes as they did so. 

“... Fine. But don’t get used to it,” Astarion resigned before tossing his hair. “I have a reputation to uphold.” 

“Mhhm,” Tav agreed, putting their face back against Gale’s velvet-covered chest. 

They knew this moment couldn’t last forever, and it certainly wouldn’t solve all their problems— mind flayers, hormones, or otherwise. But they could at least stay put like that for just a minute longer. 

Or as a matter of fact? Make that two. 

A/N 2.0: So there it is! I hope you enjoyed. This is definitely something I needed to read like two weeks ago, and also a month ago, and then the month before that lol. 

After this, we are back to our regularly scheduled programming. I will make an upcoming ask list, just so everyone is clear as to what is up and coming.

As always Please Like, but most importantly, REBLOG!!!

(Reblogs mean more than Likes because they project my work to a larger audience.)

And If you like my work, Consider Buying Me A Coffee <3. 

[loveesiren]

𝖲𝗇𝗈𝗐𝖿𝖺𝗅𝗅 - 𝖢.𝖲.

DISCLAIMER: This is my first Sturniolo fic and I have taken a longggg break from writing so I am very rusty. Sorry in advance that this most likely sucks. I'm also not great with fluff but I thought this was cute so I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think <3

Synopsis: In which Y/n finds the one person who brings joy to her life.

Warnings: Language, broken family (deceased father, alcoholic mother, troubled youth), fluff, cigarettes, very brief mention of drugs

Word Count: 2.4k+

“I WISH I WASN’T EITHER!” You screamed at your mother before slamming the door and walking out into the cold winter night. You grabbed a cigarette from your coat pocket and placed it between your teeth as you searched for your lighter. You brought it to the tip of your cigarette, flicking it a few times until it finally lit. 

I wish you weren’t my daughter. The words echoed in your head as you made your way down the dimly lit street. Light snow fell from the sky and your neighborhood was silent, the fluffy white powder absorbing all sound. The space around you was liminal. It was nights like these that were perfect for clearing your head. 

Chris’s POV

I heard Y/n yelling and I immediately turned my attention to the window. I slipped my headphones off, completely ignoring Matt and Nick and abandoning the game. I watched as Y/n clicked her lighter to light up her cigarette before walking off down the street. She looked sad. That wasn’t unusual. Especially this time of year.

I’d grown up next to Y/n my whole life. I’d dare to even say she is my friend. Although maybe she doesn’t feel the same about me? She was confusing at times. She was often quiet and kept to herself at school. She was really kind. But I’d also seen her lay someone out before for disrespecting her. She was smart as hell but always managed to end up in detention and for some reason I found myself getting into situations to get detention just so I could hang out with her. 

Obviously, my parents didn’t love that but she was so intriguing. The whole neighborhood knew of her situation. Her mom definitely wasn’t the most pleasant neighbor. Y/n tried to escape that as much as she could but she was still viewed as the “troubled kid” growing up. Now we are 18 and on the verge of graduating. I was beginning to fear that she’d be gone soon. She’d told me before how she couldn’t wait to get out of this town, that there was nothing keeping her here. 

Where would you go? I texted her.

Idk. Maybe the Outer Banks? Learn to surf, search for treasure, live like a Pogue. Lol. She responded.

We didn’t always stay up late texting but when we did our conversations were always interesting. I was always excited to see my phone screen light up with her name. It wasn’t constant, but often enough that Matt and Nick began to notice.

“Who are you texting?” Nick asked one day.

“Yeah, you smile like a goof every time you look at your phone.” Matt added.

“No one,” I responded quickly. 

“That’s a fucking lie. Who is it?” Nick asked again. Matt quickly snatched my phone from my hands and ran away with it.

“Matt, what the fuck!” I yelled as I attempted to chase him. Matt tossed it over my head and Nick caught it at the perfect time for Y/n to text me back. My phone lit up with her name and photo and Nick's jaw dropped.

“Y/n?!”

“Ew, the weird bitch?” Matt added.

“She’s not fucking weird!” I snapped, grabbing my phone back. “Don’t fucking worry about it.” I stormed off to my room and since then they haven’t brought it up. Which was fine by me. They didn’t take the time to get to know her, no one did. She was actually cool as fuck.

I thought about texting her as I watched her walk further down the street. But it just didn’t feel right. I wanted to talk to her in person. 

“Dude! What are you doing?” Matt burst through my door. “You totally fucked me and Nick in the game!”

“I’m done playing for now.” I told him as I went to my closet to grab my coat and snow boots.

“Where are you going?”

“I’ll be back in a bit, okay?”

“Chris!”

I hated keeping things from my brothers but this was something I didn’t feel like discussing with them further. They made it clear they didn’t care about Y/n. The only time they ever made comments is when they noticed her and her mom fighting. They knew she was my friend and that’s all they needed to know. All I cared about was catching up with Y/n and making sure she was okay. It was absolutely freezing outside. 

I left out the backdoor without responding to Matt and made my way down the street.

Y/n’s POV

You let the tears fall freely from your eyes as you dragged your cigarette. One more semester until you graduate and then you could leave this god awful suburb for the rest of your life. After your dad died when you were just thirteen, your mom took all her anger out on you. The last five years had been miserable. You missed your dad. You missed when your mom didn’t drink. You missed when you were a regular family. Now you were just the girl everyone felt sorry for. The troubled one.

You made your way to the small pond near the end of your neighborhood. You were ready to sit and let the stillness of the water distract you until you heard footsteps behind you. Your body tensed, nervous for who would be out here at this hour. You reached in your pocket and grabbed your knife, quickly pulling it and turning it on the person walking your way.

“Whoa, whoa!” The dark figure said, stopping in his tracks with his hands up. “It’s me! Chris!”

“Chris?” You asked softly, lowering your knife. He stepped forward. It was indeed Chris Sturniolo. You took a deep breath at the sight of him. “You scared the fuck out of me!” You scolded.

“I’m sorry…” He said. Unsure if he should walk closer or not.

“It’s fine,” You chuckled. “What are you doing out here?”

“Oh, you know, just enjoying the freezing weather.” He said, smiling and stepping closer to you. 

“It’s lovely, isn’t it?” You joke as your teeth chattered. 

“What are you doing out here, Y/n?” Chris asks, his voice more serious now.

“Just needed some air.” You told him. “I like this pond in the summer. There are lots of frogs. I wonder where they all go in the winter…” Your face fell as you pondered the thought.

“Y/n..”

You sniffled as you looked down at the pond. Chris always knew. “What.” You responded. It wasn’t a question.

“You have mascara running down your cheeks.”

Christopher Sturniolo might have been the only person to ever see you cry. He always knew and he was always there. It was a rare occasion but as you thought back on it, he always seemed to appear when you were sad and find a way to cheer you up. Whether it be walking home with you, trying to make you laugh, or even just sitting next to you silently so you wouldn’t be alone.

“She said she wishes I wasn’t her daughter.” You confessed, allowing your head to fall. Chris wasted no time in wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into him. Normally you hated being touched but you felt so comfortable with him. He wrapped one hand around your lower back and the other made its way to your hair as he towered just above you. 

“I’m sorry, Y/n. You deserve so much more.” He said softly.

You cried more at his words. In what world did you deserve more? In what world did you deserve Chris?

“Y/n, you’re freezing.” 

“Yeah, I know. I’ll call Billy-”

“No. Come to my house.” He cut you off.

You were taken aback for a moment. You hadn’t been to the Sturniolo’s since their 13th birthday party. The only reason you were invited was because your father died. You couldn’t imagine his parents or brothers actually liked you. 

“Chris, I can’t just intrude like that-”

“You’re not intruding. And I don’t want you at Billy’s.” He stated. You’d never heard the sweet Chris Sturniolo sound so serious about something. Billy definitely wasn’t the best guy but he always gave you a place to stay when you needed it. “I don’t trust him.”

Chris had no reason to trust him. Billy was a dick and often fucked people over. But having him as a connect meant a place to stay and drugs to do as long as you put out or helped him out. But to be invited to Chris’s house made you nervous. His parents were sweet. His brothers were protective. Chris bringing you home would be like bringing home a stray raccoon. 

“Chris, I can’t.” You sigh.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not a good look sneaking some degenerate into your home at midnight,”

“I will walk you through the front door proudly,” He says. “Besides, my parents are asleep and my brothers are too invested in their game. Just come over for a bit to warm up? We can listen to music in my room.”

You thought about it for a moment.

“If you hate it, you live right across the street,” He smiled hopefully at you, 

You couldn’t help but smile back at him. “Fine.” You say. “But just for a little bit! Once my mom is asleep I’m going home.”

“Deal.” Chris agreed, throwing his arm over your shoulder and guiding you back towards the street.

The two of you walked back to his house with minimal conversation. 

“Wanna catch snowflakes?” Chris asked before sticking his tongue out and letting the snow fall on it.

You giggled at him but followed his lead. The crisp flakes on your tongue felt nice. You were having fun jumping around in the snow with Chris. You even stopped at the park to make stupid snow angels and throw snowballs at each other. Before you knew it, the snow was getting heavier, almost blizzarding. 

“C’mon!” Chris yelled, grabbing your hand and running towards his house. 

You made it to his porch and he opened the door slowly. The kitchen was mostly dark aside from the microwave light being on and the light that shined underneath Nick’s door. You could hear him still awake, obviously yelling at a video game he was playing. 

Chris put a finger to his lips, gesturing for you to be quiet as you both slipped out of your boots. He grabbed your hand and you both tiptoed through the dimly lit house and up to his room. You made your way down the hall and followed Chris into his bedroom. 

“Make yourself at home,” He said with a smile. He went to his computer and logged into his Spotify. You scanned his room, noticing all the posters of his favorite artists on his walls. You could tell he was passionate about music. 

“Who’s your favorite?” You ask. He looks at you and you gestured to all the posters.

“Skies, for sure!” He says. “What about you?”

You unzip your coat to reveal the shirt you got at Grey Day last year. “$uicideboy$”

Chris smiles at you. “I’ve never really listened to them. What’s a good song?”

“A Death In The Ocean Would Be Beautiful,” You say as you slip off your coat and sit on his bed. 

Chris turns on his galaxy projector so that wave-like colors flow across his ceiling before he presses play and joins you on his bed. You both lay back and listen intently as you watch the lights. 

“They’re kind of depressing…” Chris admits after the song is over. 

You chuckle slightly. “Yeah, they can be. But they can be helpful. They get it, you know? What I’m going through.”

Chris turns on his side and you mirror his movements as if you were his natural reflection. “I hate hearing it every night.” He admits.

Your body curls into itself, you pull your sleeves further over your hands. “I’m sorry…”

“No, not like that,” He says, propping himself up on one arm and placing his other on your shoulder, gently tangling his fingers through the ends of your hair. “I just hate hearing you guys fight and seeing you walk out in the cold every night. You don’t deserve that.”

“Trust me, Chris. I’m no saint.” You say with a sad laugh. 

“Don’t have to be a saint to deserve basic respect, especially from your own family.” 

“I only have to deal with it for a few more months. When I graduate, I’m out of here.” You smiled at the thought. 

“You know…I’m really going to miss you…” Chris says softly. 

You look up to see his eyes already on you. You wanted to tell him you’d miss him too. You wanted to tell him to come with you, although you knew he’d never leave his brothers. You wanted to tell him he was the only good thing in your life and every time you were near him you felt happy and warm and like everything was going to be okay for once in your miserable fucking life. But with every single thought your brain contained about Chris Sturniolo, your mouth could only mutter three little words. 

“I love you…”

Chris’s lips parted slightly with shock as his eyes quickly scanned your features.

“Fuck! I’m sor-”

You were quickly cut off when he pressed his lips to yours. You were taken aback for a moment but quickly leaned in to deepen the kiss. He brought his hand up to cup your jaw and your fingers found their way to his hair. His lips were soft and sweet and you felt that fluttering feeling in the pit of your stomach that you hadn’t felt in a long, long time. 

He pulled away slightly and you frowned at the loss of contact. “I’ve wanted to do that for a long fucking time…” He said, his voice almost a whisper. 

“I-I didn’t know you liked me…” You said. “Why?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” You’re smart, you’re sweet, you know what you want, and pretty as hell.” He smiled. “Not to mention you’re like the strongest person I know. You deserve so much better than the cards you’ve been dealt.”

You felt tears welling in your eyes again but you couldn’t help but smile. You don’t know what you did to deserve the pretty boy who had his arms wrapped around you, but you hoped you never had to let him go. 

“Can I stay?” You asked shyly.

Chris smiled and pulled his comforter over both of you. “Please,” He said. 

You snuggled into him, resting your head on his chest while he played with your hair. 

“And Y/n?” He said, placing a kiss on your forehead.

“Mmm?”

“I love you, too.”

Tagging a few mutuals! Let me know if you want to be added/removed from tag list :)

Tags: @strniohoeee @flowerxbunnie @christinarowie332 @kenzieiskoolaid @bluesturniolo333 @chrattnick @recklesssturniolo @soursturniolo @byechristopher @justangelheree @sturnimovies

[24kmagiic]

saw one of your old posts about Davina and Bonnie. I know you ship Klonnie and I was curious if you think Klavina?(klaus/davinas) dynamic is what Klonnie’s would’ve started off as

I felt like Bonnie was robbed in canon but Davina is elevated in the show even when she’s kicked aside she still gets her happy ending by the end of it all.

Hiii!

So, while I used to be so against her, towards the end of the show's run, I didn't mind Davina because, at the end of a very long day, she was a kid caught in supernatural business. However, it was painfully obvious to me that Davina was who they refused to let Bonnie be. She was their pitiful attempt to erase Bonnie. However, it didn't work because she was quickly cast aside, which I believe was because they never had a real purpose for her EXCEPT to erase Bonnie.

With all that said, yes, the way Davina kept her foot on Klaus's neck would have been identical to how I imagined Bonnie would be. We already saw her be that way with Damon. Damon couldn't pass gas without Bonnie showing up to make sure no one else smelled it lmao.

The possibilities in which the two of them would eventually warm up to one another are endless, and I feel like every Klonnie story in existence has found its own ways of showcasing how the two of them would eventually come together.

I am a SUCKER for forced proximity which I think works excellent for Enemies to Lovers tropes. But I also think the two of them would just naturally realize that they're two sides of the same coin and find their stake in each other's lives that way.

(This next part is me rambling and has nothing to do with what you asked, so you can skip past the italicized text if you want lol.)

People always see Bonnie as this moral beacon that is full of light but if you really dig deep, Bonnie is a very dark character. She is the antithesis of evil, which does not always equate to what we define as 'good.' Bonnie's goodness is rooted in the way she masters evil, and she knows how and when to tap in. (For example: Trying to kill Damon by fire.)

Most "good' characters we see in media today aren't actually good, they're harmless. Elena is a perfect example of this. Just because she was physically unable to hurt a fly doesn't mean she was a good person. Her selfishness placed Bonnie in ugly situations plenty of times, but it was brushed off because she was trying to be good. (Think of how Seattle responded to the BLM protests and how it negatively affected the whole movement. They 'meant' well, but we caught the fire behind that mess.)

On the flip side, Bonnie would be classified as an 'extremist' if she was in a political landscape. That said, Klaus is also an extremist but on the opposite end. (Think 'right-wing' and 'left-wing' but without the political connotations.) In my opinion, this is why they work so well together but they're bound to bump heads because of it.

(And now, back to Klonnie!)

There are so many commonalities between the two of them that make shipping Klonnie so fun.

Similar to how two siblings can grow up in the same house and face the same trauma but end up polar opposites of one another, that's how I view Klonnie's commonalities (minus the sibling bit, obviously). They both faced similar traumas, but how they processed it turned them into different people. Klaus is the Yin to Bonnie's Yang.

Shared Traumas:

Parental Negligence

Bonnie: Rudy was negligent after Abby left him and Bonnie and thus Bonnie grew up alone with only Grams who failed to teach Bonnie about her heritage. (I'm aware it was against Rudy's wishes but I'm still side-eyeing lol.)

Klaus: Esther was negligent in keeping his father's identity from him and allowing her husband to abuse him. Also, she created that necklace to weaken him for her own selfishness, thus putting the target on his back when it came to Mikael.

Abandonment

Bonnie: Her mother walked out on her for no legitimate reason. Her father was always gone and Grams was an alcoholic (so they say). Even the people in her life were emotionally absent. Then you have her friends who left her to deal with the consequences of magic alone.

Klaus: After killing their mother, he had a deep fear of his siblings abandoning him. Therefore, he became obsessed with loyalty. His biological father was nowhere to be found until a thousand years later.

For brevity's sake, I'll stop with those two but they have others.

How they processed these traumas is so interesting:

They both gained an unnatural sense of loyalty, which lies in the fear of abandonment. Klaus forced loyalty onto others, while Bonnie gave loyalty to those who never earned it or didn't deserve it.

Bonnie became codependent on her friends because she had no one else, and Klaus became co-dependent on his family for the same.

Bonnie became overburdened by responsibility. She became everyone's 'go-to' for morality and protection, which gave her a skewed sense of importance, but it also burned her out. Klaus became controlling and constantly sought validation (from Elijah in particular).

Klaus ruled through fear because of Mikael's abuse. Everyone's acceptance of Mikael's abuse sort of validated his use of fear as a way of controlling people. Bonnie used her morality as a means of control for both herself and others.

Klaus is very self-loathing, and while Bonnie doesn't initially appear to be that way, she is too. Her strong moral code is just that, her way of torturing herself. (For example: Constantly sacrificing herself for 'good' simply because she has the duty of wielding magic.)

If Klaus controlled his siblings, Bonnie's control came with how she wielded that moral compass of hers. Seeing everyone around her live freely was triggering because she had to be responsible so early in her life. She never got to make mistakes. Mistakes meant abandonment to her, so she walked a fine line and tried to force others to do the same. (This may be why she struggled with her magic so often. I often wondered if the spirits were actually punishing her or if she was self-actualizing and punishing herself subconsciously.)

This is the tip of the iceberg with these two, but can you already see the pattern? My favorite aspect is how one craves what the other has. Klaus craves loyalty, and Bonnie craves control. They both want what the other (seemingly) has.

[soul--weaver]

i dont even know how to begin to explain this, i was literally just doing practice sketches then i was seized by the need to over-explain my helios lore. i have a lot more to say about the au but ive done enough for now i think lol

helios in the microwave forever i guess

textless images and rough text transcripts below the cut:

image 2 text contents:

Nathaniel Norwell | "Waning Crescent"

-Obsessed with proving his worth - first to his parents, then to the Order -Puts on superior airs to mask a deep insecurity -Possessive and abusive; keeps his brother down to feel like he has power in his life -Meticulous, insists on keeping his work and living spaces pristine and orderly -Does love his brother (in a way) and can't imagine life without him, but refuses to view him as an equal -Devoted to alchemical study for the purpose of maintaining his status

Notes:

-Probably queer but will never talk about it -I mean look at him. That's an evil twink if I've ever seen one

[Redacted] Norwell | "Helios"

-Obsessed with forging his own identity, beyond the Norwell family -Vindictive and egotistical -Sometimes pretends at submission to get others off his back, but struggles to restrain his anger - often leading to fights between him and Nathaniel -Severely undersocialized; struggles to understand others as complete people -Hates Nathaniel more than anything in the world -Studies alchemy against the Order's wishes for the purpose of surpassing his family and the Order, having been denied by both

Notes:

-Autistic -Nonbinary (specifically giving him my creature gender) -Nblm?

Lore HCs

-Parents pitted them against each other from a young age; Nathaniel outshone Helios largely by being more outspoken (as Helios was nonverbal for a portion of his youth) and coming across as more disciplined -Nathaniel was established as the golden child, while Helios was kept away from the public eye due to behavioral issues -Disallowed from joining the Order, Helios was only allowed to spectate certain meetings as a servant -Both parents died in an accident as the siblings entered adulthood -Nathaniel became far more controlling afterward in order to feel secure in his status at the Norwell heir -Forbidden to visit Azoth Library by Nathaniel, Helios began to impersonate him and used his brother's tendency towards overwork and frequent chemical exposure (as well as Nathaniel's fear of being seen as flawed in any way) to avoid scrutiny for any apparent gaps in memory

Design HCs

-Both have naturally wavy hair, but Nathaniel straightens his -Without makeup, both have pronounced eyebags -Helios is notably paler than Nathaniel, not getting outside nearly as much -Nathaniel grew his hair out first; Helios grew out his to be able to impersonate him

image 3 text contents:

IthaNort AU

-Helios and Norton meet at the Azoth Library while Helios is pretending to be Nathaniel (which, for the purposes of this AU, he probably starts doing a lot sooner) (also, either Mercury or Philemon are the director at this point, not Norton or Nathaniel) -Norton is kind of a black sheep in the Order due to his background -Not knowing Nathaniel even has a brother, Norton is confused when he starts noticing his demeanor change. Generally, Nathaniel treats him with nothing but disdain, and but there are times when, while he still clearly has an ego, he actually expresses genuine curiosity about Norton's work rather than dismissing it outright -This keeps happening, and Norton starts noticing all the little differences and ends up getting kind of fixated on "Nathaniel." Helios pays more attention to him in turn, though he doesn't expect to be figured out -Then there's an Order gathering at the Norwell manor and Norton meets Helios outside of his disguise, and everything clicks into place fairly quickly. He approaches him later at the library and takes him aside to call him on the fact he's pretending. Once Helios confirms that Norton has no intention to out him, he finds himself more intrigued by Norton himself than by his work, and starts coming by his office more and more just to hang out with him -Helios is very lonely. He will not admit that he's lonely. Fortunately Norton is also lonely and was already starting to develop an infatuation with him, so it works out

image 4 text contents:

-In this AU, Helios's obsession with getting recognition in the world ends up falling away and getting replaced by a deep desire for freedom - from Nathaniel and the Order -Things get messy with the Order, Norton gets blackmailed, some murders are done, but eventually they get to run away together <3 (Helios steals a large portion of the Norwell fortune after he kills Nathaniel. He also scars his face with chemical burns to avoid getting recognized as a Norwell ever again because he's Normal. Norton was not happy to learn this.) -A while after the fact, Lady Truth figures out enough of what happened to be able to track them down. But she's also queer and has done murder before to protect her criminal love interest Lockheart (but that's a whole other story in itself) so she chooses not to turn them in

[yuseirra]

Your essay reeks of passion. That's what I like about it.

I'm just as obsessed with psychology lol. I tried to analyse and anticipate this relationship when the manga wasn't finished yet and I got it right lol. I don't think we'll go wrong with our interpretation.

It hurts like hell when I see this ship lol, because it could have been beautiful and I love both characters. I think it also have an special meaning for me.

STORYTIME MOMENT

I think it's also because, I have to admit, one of the reasons I was an Ai yume / waifuist was because I found the character lovable but also because I felt understood (I have a pretty cynical view of the world lol but I'm taking care of myself). Thinking about helping me to get better and get back on track. Coping with life's problems at a time when I was being neglected. To give a little more meaning at a time when I was becoming nihilistic. So I wanted to give meaning to fiction. Because the real Ai was someone I understood. That person who was crushed by the world and just wanted to learn love, I could understand that. I've found a little joy where I was morose. It saved me. I wanted to love her, even though I know it's fiction and that she can't love me. It hurts me to know that, in the end, she hardly ever had anyone to love her. I wish I could have been that person. I don't care if it's unrequited. I love her. It's CRINGE with a C lol but it's true. A dimension separates me from her, what a sadness lol. I'm bound by the chains of attachment to her, and it's my curse and my blessing.

So I kind of understand him. When you don't have much, all it takes is a little and everything lights up. But lose it and you become dust and plunge into the abyss of despair. And in the possible and probable desire to make sense of it all.

So I want this ship not to end even worse, because I want someone to love her since I can't. A final tribute, even if they're separated by the barrier of life. Let my girl and my boy be happy for once.

Even if the work is dark and a bit creepy, it's become a work of comfort and I think I put a bit of my soul into it lol (as a text whose intensity I should have measured out).

You often make the comparison with Japanese gods, but I'd also like to give you another possibility that I've noticed: the story of Layla and Majnun. A man who can't marry the woman he loves because of circumstances around him and his mistakes, becomes crazy about the woman he loves and can't give up that love.

I was going to leave for the night(and I will after I answer this ask!) but I felt I shouldn't let this one go unattended for long..(it usually takes some time for me to get to messages;v;!! I need some energy)

Wanted to attach a picture of Ai!

Mhm, I can't daren't say I "understand", but I always felt like Ai is very real in many aspects even if she's a fictional character. What she's going through can apply to people in real life, and it's portrayed in a very lifelike way. I remember having read a review the first time I picked up this series, the person reviewing it wrote they could relate to her character so well because it is exactly the way they felt about things. They really couldn't comprehend what "love" could actually be like, as much as they wanted it, so they kept struggling to pretend they knew about it- something like that, I don't remember the exact details.

I felt from the beginning that her song and her story could reflect how some people really are, and that there would be people who's been where she is- but reading something like that really struck me. I feel Ai could and would be a very important/precious character for some, she displays emotions and goes through experiences that can be their reality. That makes me want to pay careful attention to depicting how she is sometimes/when I bring out her character. She's unique, but also quite universal.

I can't say I can fully understand how you'd feel because I haven't been in your shoes, but I can see how what you've mentioned can happen to you, it's really comforting to find something that you can relate to in a piece of media, right? It is that way for me too. Also, I hear fiction has that magic of increasing one's empathy (I read a study proves that in a book) we get to see how other people function and come to realize what they face a little better, we cry and laugh with them. When there's a character that's built really well(and Ai is created with careful attention and a lot of research, I feel, she's so detailed and delicate in terms of how she is as a character) it helps even more on that aspect. I respect that.

And isn't Ai really strong? She gets hurt, she's wary, scared and weird and she isn't perfect and she's built a big mask of lies, but what I felt about her on top of all that is that she tries really hard, and she never gives up on trying to love. Thinking how a young girl who's been so hurt and lonely and abused/neglected as a child was able to endure everything that she's gone through, and even HELP someone else during those struggles, and still dreaming, going out there to achieve what she wants about life, that's pretty inspiring. I think she can be a good example, despite her having met a pretty sad fate. I don't think her life was a failure, it was filled with new challenges and she tackled it with all her heart and she finally got what she really wanted in the end. She lived vigorously. There's a lot to learn from her, I feel. She perseveres and makes her wishes come true. That's why I want her to be happy in every aspect :) (her boyfriend better live up to her and I feel like he is someone who can) as well as everyone who's been in that spot to be as well! I want onk to be a story like that, and I think it will? I think that'd be the point of making Ai like this. This character has the potential to make people happy as she becomes happy in the story herself. So I want that to happen!

I make a lot of comparisons with Japanese gods because this is a Japanese piece and I feel it's what the author would've actually used as reference! (didn't read kaguya-san but I heard that one has some jp folklore refs too!) But I'll look into the story you mentioned as well! I don't think I'm familiar with it yet but it seems interesting! There are a lot of stories about unrequited love, isn't it? ;v;) but I hope this one gets a happy ending.

speaking of which, Hikaru's name is Hikaru Kamiki right?

I probably said this but he may be collecting light(Hikaru/hikari) (from the star eyes??) to become a god(kami) like Ai who's returned to being a star. (Ai hoshino=love of a star) I feel star=god in this universe from the stuff they're keep implying.. so it's about trying to reach someone who's far away. You know, this is actually what Mephisto's lyrics imply as well.

If life returns to you, if it reaches you, ah I don't care what happens to me Ah, but not every wish will be fulfilled And if that’s not realized, I shall become you The stars shatter and shine < this.

I'll be, if this isn't the case. I'm so convinced at this point.

I don't really want to add on to your personal experiences and discuss about them, I feel it'd be rash of me to make some sort of comment on it. I'd like to tell you I've read it :) and the fact that you can open your feelings up to someone, I feel that's a good sign. That needs to happen in order to heal, I believe. I hope good things happen to you and you find a lot of things that give you joy, and I really hope this series will live up to it too! I want it to have a satisfying ending ;v; come on.. I bought the physical books too~... I'm glad I have something to be passionate about to say the least-(I'm glad you can tell!) it's a loved series, so I wish it gets a great closure for both the fans and the ones who are responsible for creating it.

We'll see how it wraps up! I hope it will be an ending I will love~ and that hikaai will sail bc;; I really can't see it not being any other way for it to get a meaningful closure. For now, goodnight~

[mousesquared]

Hi! How did you realize you were aplspec? I'm questioning myself and am having such a hard time figuring it out lol...

(disclaimer that all of this is my personal experience and i dont speak for all aplspec people) oh also im gonna be saying i/me but this realization was a mix of mouses and mine (toby)

prepare for a long one cause i like to talk a lot i guess

i think it kinda hit me when i really thought about platonic attraction. im aroace and so dont experience romantic or sexual attraction and so thinking of a platonic version of that was a bit confusing. there were only a couple people i could remember feeling a pull towards to either be their friend or be closer as friends. with other friends it just kind of happened? they were someone i talked to about similar interests or in groups with mutual friends and a friendship just happened because of that. i didnt have a goal or pull to specifcally to try and get closer to them, it just happened because of where we hung around.

i know not all alloplatonic friendships are built on an urge to be friends or closer friends, but i do think my experience of it is in an aplatonic(spec) way. there is also the part where i dont specifcally have an urge to need close friends. i of course enjoy it when i do. but when i realized i was aplspec i only had like 2 past friends that i still occasionally texted but we were super distant. i didnt really miss an emotional bond with someone, i just wanted to talk to people. i was lonely in the sense that all my thoughts were having to be kept inside by head with no way out. and when i seeked out a place to talk about them, thats where friendships formed. i didnt join that community in order to get close friends, i just wanted discussion.

most of the time when it comes to friends, i am seeking the activity, the action, the nonloneliness. it is nice to have people fufilling that with me that i like! but with friends i have a really hard time gauging steps in relationships. i have been known to either talk to someone for a very short time and all of a sudden regard us as very close and i have been known to talk to someone and be friends with them for years, and then not consider them as close as they consider me. the latter isnt usually about me not liking them as much as others, i just dont realize how they view our friendship and have trouble gauging that kind of stuff for myself. i think that comes from just having trouble gauging how people see me in general. personally i think thats an autism thing but it affects my aplatonicism so its also an aplatonic thing!

i also think that i view friendship as like a complete separate step than just talking to someone a lot. that may seem like a contradictory thing to what ive said before. but the fact that i seek talking to people and interacting with others, thats why i was ok with not really having friends for a stretch of time. struggling with gauging friendship makes me see friendship as something that has to be kind of barrier you eventually cross instead of it just building up. i often dont realize when we cross that barrier and of course the other person doesnt feel the need to express it because we are already friends in their eyes. i am often hit with the "oh i guess we are friends now" thought. even with the few people i have felt platonic attraction to.

so TLDR: i realized platonic attraction is actually a thing, and most of the time i dont have an actual pull to be friends/closer with people. i dont usually seek the companionship of friends, usually just the sociable & activity doing aspect. i care about my friends but i dont view my care for them as a platonic attraction. i also have trouble gauging relationship levels with people and often dont realize we are friends until they say something or i realize im spending a lot of my time with them. (reminder that im aplspec, not 100% aplatonic too!)

[my-castles-crumbling]

Helloooo!!! I haven’t had tumblr for super long and you’re my first and only so far which makes me very happy :) I love your writing!

Anywho, I’m in Europe for the first time rn!!! I’m studying abroad with my university and I’m having so much fun. However, I’m feeling a little weird about a new friend I made and I definitely need to tell someone unrelated but also am very willing to accept advise or comments if you have anything to share lol. On the first night of my trip, I was hanging out with one of my trip mates (just the two of us) and we talked for a few hours on the roof of our hotel. It was really nice and we just kind of clicked. We’ve been sticking together since then and have both talked about our sexualities (she’s gay and I, a female, am queer but like women). She’s talked about how she platonically kisses her best friend when they’re drunk and I’ve talked about how I think friends can kiss friends.

So the other night we’re at a pub and she’s drinking a bit but I’m not drinking much at all. One of her fends back home was talking to her about how they think they like someone but feel like since they don’t think about kissing them often that they don’t actually like them. I am offered the idea that it’s all about how you view kissing because for me it’s not a strictly romantic thing so sometimes I like people but don’t think about kissing them because that’s not a huge factor for me. Like just because I don’t have to have romantic feelings to kiss someone and vice versa. My friend relayed this to her friend and then we pretty much moved on from it. There was a few times when she was texting her friend and obviously turning her phone away from me but I was trying not to think about it too hard.

When we got back to our hotel a few hours later, and she sent me a text while I was in the shower that said “hey I have a question about what you said to me friend. Do you have romantic feelings for me?” We’re currently in the same room with two other girls so it wasn’t like I could go over and talk to her about it and figure out why. But I just got so uncomfortable in the moment and ignored it until we all went to bed. In the morning, I didn’t really know what to do so I kept ignoring it and avoided her a little bit which is easy to do because we’re in a large group but also we’ve been spending so much time together that I think she could tell. Eventually, we hung out a bit while we were walking around the city but still not as much. I’m not sure how I feel about the situation and I’m also just not sure where she was going with that line of questioning. She was definitely drunk when she texted me so I don’t even know if I should have acknowledged it or not. I feel like it’ll be okay if we just never talk about it.

Additional possibly important information: we are both physically affectionate people so on your two hour plane ride and one hour bus ride she was laying on my shoulder and holding onto my arm. She held my hand during the plane ride. She’s pretty much initiated any physical contact we’ve had because I never do with anyone but always return it as soon as the option has been presented to me. She also always tends to find me. She’s always standing near me even if I’m talking to other people. I don’t know if it’s a coincidence or not but she also always ends up with going where I go when our big group splits up. I think this makes me a little uneasy but I also don’t think it’s that big of a deal because I enjoy hanging out with her.

I’m just not sure what to do but talking about this to her sounds absolute horrible. If you have nothing to add then that’s just fine, I think I might have just needed to tell someone. Thanks for reading if you did :) I love how much you interact with all of us and I know we all greatly appreciate it <3

Hi!!

This definitely is confusing and I can understand why you’re probably confused as well. I guess my question is- what do YOU want? How do YOU feel? Because I think that really affects how you should go from here, you know?

Naming you studying abroad anon!

[destinedarts]

🙈 Need Mandarin translations/confirmations for the messages the lmk creators left ASAP 🙈

Long story short, we tried to spread the animation studio switch letter Sarah posted. I speedran to Xiaohongshu (LittleRedBook/RedBook/RED); Instagram equal for China cause thought no one else would do it. This was before we found out the rest of the crew would send their regards as well.

Idk Mandarin at all so would appreciate any help. Literally just dumped everything into Google Translate.

Priority is everything in the 1st image. 2nd pic is just explanations I wrote for them in case they don't know, which idk how much they know about Flying Bark besides the fact that they thought their animation was awesome. Sometimes they share the storyboards on Bilibili/Weibo but that's about it.

Put them as images cause I was gonna post on Twitter, but coming here first, which also might be better instead.

The RedBook Post

Might need to go through some verification check, basically sliding things across the screen. No sign in should be required to view, though it could vary between countries.

Short Link: http://xhslink.com/kkPC3I

Link: www.xiaohongshu.com/explore/663ee802000000001e01c1bb

Reasons

If I don't get any sort of translation confirmations, I'm gonna have to update the post anyways. Right now, it's also full of ugly edits cause first time ever posting and I actually ran off to make this like the minute we were asked to do so in mk central discord. Gonna make it look nicer now that I realize it's gained traction. >_>

There's a lot of upset/angry/sad/mad fans on RedBook, Douyin, and Bilibili. Much like how we had the wildfire and death threats on Twitter except I think not as extreme to the point of sending death threats... thankfully. They didn't know about the studio change. Honestly, just trying to give them facts and reminding them they have part of the power to get the show cancelled or not; but also not telling them what to like or not like/stop grieving/etc.

Literally one of the RedBook comments on the S5 trailer LEGO China uploaded contains the picture from my post (cause I added disclaimer that it's not lego official translated). So I definitely would like to have the other translations down if they're just sharing around pictures like that. 😬 And note that they're all sharing the Mandarin ones; not the English even though I did provide them. I don't have Douyin and I dunno if I can upload on Bilibili. Weibo has been covered. Idk if there's other Chinese soc med I'm missing.

Notes for translation

Exact Mandarin/English text used in the ALTs of the pictures and "Keep Reading" section cause I realize ALT can’t copy and paste if needed

Uh please write down exactly what phrase to change, cause I do not understand any of the characters except the show title heh

1000 character limit for post, including tags and characters

Tags used: #lego乐高 #lego #悟空小侠 #乐高中国 #乐高悟空小侠 #乐高悟空小侠5年庆 #第五季 #齐小天 #孫悟空 @LEGO乐高 #乐高 If there's more that's helpful, please let me know lol been riding on these tags. If I can, I'll put English hashtags, but depends on character limit; Chinese is a priority

20 character limit for title, which I've chosen: 悟空小侠电视剧的未来🐒导演和编剧的笔记 (basically "future of LMK, directors & writers' statements/notes")

Crew member names and titles were written in the Mandarin dub credits, shown in 2nd pic. Not changing those in translations.

"Harbinger of Chaos" doesn't exist in the Mandarin version... I think? based on the s4 e7 subtitles we had way long ago. Changed Breen's tweet so it said to "find out more about MK." I guess I could've put "demon monkeys" but left that out in case they actually don't address it in the season. And idk the mandarin phrase they used for that

WildBrain Studios doesn't have a proper mandarin translation according to all the Mandarin dubbed Ninjago episodes so just kept it English

Idk if I forgot something, been having hard time keeping track of stuff oop I'll add more if there is more

Needed

From Christian: 谢谢悟空小侠粉丝们！

经过三季的动画导演后，我很荣幸能够执导旋风狗制片的悟空小侠的第四季，也是最后一季。

这是一个非常贴近我们旋风狗制片所有人的心的系列。 我为我们的团队感到无比自豪，他们在这些美好的岁月里一起工作，成为了一家人。

对于所有悟空小侠粉丝的热爱和奉献，我们感到非常幸运。 你们是我们长期努力的原因，我们将永远感激不已。

这场演出由 Wild Brain 出色的团队负责，我希望他们和我们一样享受这次旅程。

这张照片是我在悟空小侠中的最后一场演出。 我已经非常想念这些猴子了，但我对未来感到兴奋，迫不及待地想分享我们接下来要做的事情。<3

From David:

悟空小侠第五季要来了！ Wildbrain 将接替旋风狗制片留下的巨大足迹。 团队中充满了才华横溢、充满激情的艺术家，我们迫不及待地想让大家了解更多关于齐小天的信息！

From Deirdre:

乐高悟空小侠第五季即将到来，猜猜谁写了三集？ 我🤭

Sorta Needed

Please note that I did use a translator (and friends) to write this article. I'm a western fan but I have access to the app. And please spread the word too. I don’t have much contact with Chinese social media.

请注意，我确实使用了翻译来写这篇文章。 [Could swap to saying friends instead of translator.] 我是西方粉丝，但我可以访问应用程序。也请广而告之。 我与中国社交媒体没有太多联系。

Former series directors and writers from Flying Bark Productions, as well as current writers, have all issued statements regarding the handling of the series.

旋风狗制片（Flying Bark Productions）的前系列导演和编剧以及现任编剧都就该系列的处理发表了声明。

Sarah Harper served as series director from S1 -3 before fully becoming a writer for several episodes in S4. Some of her series credits include "The Jade Emperor" and "Rip and Tear."

莎拉·哈珀（Sarah Harper）在第一季到第三季中担任系列导演，之后在第四季的几集中完全成为编剧。她的一些剧集包括《天庭大对决》和《青毛狮之怒》。

Christian Barkel served as animation director for the first three seasons and was promoted to series director in the fourth season.

克里斯蒂安·巴克尔（Christian Barkel）在前三季担任动画导演，第四季晋升为系列导演。

David Breen is currently a writer on the show's fifth season. He served as script supervisor for S1-3 before being promoted as one of the show's writers. Some of the episodes he has written are "The Brotherhood" and “A Lifetime of Mistakes."

大卫·布林 (David Breen) 现任该剧第五季的编剧。 在晋升为该剧的编剧之一之前，他担任第一季到第三季的剧本总监。 他编写的一些剧集有《青毛狮之谜》和《寻找美猴王》。

Deirdre Devlin is also a writer on season five. She was brought on as a writer in the fourth season. Her three episodes are "The Great Tang Man", "Court of the Yellow Robed Demon", and "Pitiful Creatures".

迪尔德丽·戴夫林（Deirdre Devlin）也是第五季的编剧之一。她在第四季中担任编剧。她的三集是《小天遇三藏》 、《神秘的“朋友”》、《受困保护咒》。

Not Needed but would be nice

Flying Bark Productions has withdrawn from the animation production of "Monkie Kid". Since 2020, they have been continuously invited to participate in new projects, such as "Disney's" "Moon Girl and the Demon Dinosaur" and "Avatar Studio"'s upcoming "Avatar" film in 2026.

旋风狗制片已退出《悟空小侠》的动画制作。 自2020年以来，他们不断受邀参与新项目，例如“Disney”的《月亮女孩與惡魔恐龍》以及2026年“Avatar Studio”即将上映的《降世神通》影片。

From now on, WildBrain Studios will animate the series. They were also responsible for the Ninjago TV series, although that was in 3D rather than a 2D TV series like Monkie Kid. The writers and voice actors remain the same, but new people could join the team.

从现在开始，WildBrain Studios 将制作该系列动画。 他们还负责《幻影忍者》电视剧，尽管该剧是 3D 的，而不是像《悟空小侠》那样的 2D 电视连续剧。 编剧和配音演员保持不变，但可能会有新人加入团队。

Some artists work as freelancers for the team. I don't know how WildBrain Studios' 2D department hires their artists. If they were invited back to the show, some of their work might be similar to their work from previous seasons. But that consistency may not hold true under new directors. We'll have to wait until the end of the season to see the TV show's credits.

一些艺术家作为团队的自由职业者。 我不知道WildBrain Studios的2D部门是如何聘请他们的艺术家的。 如果他们再次受邀参与节目，他们的一些作品可能会与前几季的作品相似。 但在新董事的领导下，这种一致性可能不会成立。 我们必须等到本季结束才能看到电视节目的制作人员名单。

Previous seasons used "frame-by-frame" animation, all drawn by hand. Based on the trailer, the new season appears to include the use of "rig animation," which is the use of technology to move characters and objects.

前几季使用“逐帧”动画，全部由手工绘制。根据预告片，新一季似乎包括使用“装备动画”，即使用技术来移动角色和物体。

All of these changes will impact Season 5 and beyond. I don't know how fan support affects entertainment distribution in China, but over here, if a show doesn't get enough views upon release, it may be abandoned by the distributor and have a hard time continuing. We will give as much support as possible in the West, although the success of the Monkie Kid LEGO sets and TV show has always and will always depend on its performance in China.

所有这些变化都将影响第五季及以后的内容。 我不知道粉丝的支持如何影响中国的娱乐发行，但在这里，如果一个节目在发行时没有获得足够的观看次数，它可能会被发行商放弃，很难继续下去。 我们将在西方给予尽可能多的支持，尽管悟空小侠乐高套装和电视节目的成功将始终取决于其在中国的表现。

Change can be difficult, and it's okay if you feel disappointed or upset. While waiting over the past year, we’ve been teased by the writers and voice actors that this story will be emotional and heartbreaking, and we trust the writers who have carried the story of Monkie Kid, so I hope you will consider watching season 5.

整个变化可能会令人震惊，如果您感到失望或不安也没关系。 在过去一年的等待中，我们被编剧和配音演员取笑，说这个故事将是感人且令人心碎的，我们相信那些承载了悟空小侠故事的编剧，所以我希望你能考虑观看这一季 5.

[swirlmup]

It’s le piece of resistance, the episode of Fixing RWBY I contributed the most art to! Let’s take a look, shall we?

Believe be when I was obsessively looking at reference pictures of the castle both from canon and from RWBY: Fairytales, and hating the design of it more and more the more I studied it. xD It’s just not super great lmao, so I did some tweaking to the castle’s design throughout my scene, mostly adjusting some of the tower roofs and the layout. In this scene I’m particularly pleased with the statue of Salem’s mother now inset in the roof above Salem’s room. I had to extrapolate her mother’s design from the silhouette we saw in RWBY: Fairytales, and kept it relatively simple in the interest of honoring the silhouette. I think my favorite detail I added to her was giving her a fox-skin scarf. I also downloaded a star brush on CSP to fill in that sky, very fun to paint in.

Another thing I hated from canon and canon-adjacent material was how empty Salem’s room was. You look at canon or Fairytales and it’s like, “My God, does anybody actually even live here? How dull! It looks like an Ikea display!” So that was another one of my goals for this scene, that I wanted to design Salem’s room with a lot more Stuff(tm). Just stuff everywhere, as many necessities as I could think of for living, and clutter because she’s a teenage girl and she probably isn’t super tidy. A bookbrush I downloaded saved me a lot of trouble as well, for filling in even more Stuff everywhere. xD

You may notice that there’s a lot of stuffed animals and depictions of animals in her room, and that’s because I headcanon that Salem likes animals a lot, especially fanciful animals that have wings. xD I also felt the need to give Salem other hobbies besides just reading and writing, since even the biggest reader would get bored of that reading. Hence the painting easal, the embroidery ring, and the violin and deck of cards and dancing ribbon. Bitch(affectionate, Salem is my daughter) needed more stuff to do in a day. xD

This is an interesting drawing, because it’s actually right when I was shifting my style a bit! I’d discovered another artist whose art I admired, and so I was training myself to incorporate elements from their art that I liked into my own repertoire. It’s kind of hit and miss sometimes in how well I pull it off, but I like how this one turned out. :) Salem’s pajamas were designed at the last second as I was working the scene lol. I like how plaintive her expression is here.

This was a fun and quick drawing to do, and the first peek we get at the redesign we made for Salem! Explicitly, once we learned that Salem was canonically 16 when she was rescued, according to RWBY: Fairytales, we felt the need to redesign her so that she accurately reflected her age at that time. More on this further down when I share her reference sheet!

One of those more awkward moments on trying to work in a style I wasn’t super comfortable yet. xD More extrapolation on her father’s design, although it’s much easier to work with him since we have more visual reference on how he looked.

Another view of Salem in her room. The perspective was very difficult to do here! I wanted it to be like the camera was set right on Salem’s writing desk, and make it obvious that’s where the camera was and that we could see her writing implements in the foreground. But because the writing desk I gave her has an angled surface, it greatly complicated things in terns of trying to maintain a dead-on perspective and still keeping her writing stuff in frame. I kinda fudged it a little for the sake of visual clarity, after all was said and done. xD Her pen was fun to just doodle on lol.

Another fairly quick drawing. The longest part was lining up the text on the edges of the paper so that it displayed the way it ought to. Curious about what Salem wrote in her letters exactly?

text reads: Brave hero who finds this note, Please come and rescue me immediately! I am imprisoned by my father with no hope of escape. He refuses to let me go and I fear I shall never know the feel of grass beneath my feet, or the embrace of a husband. Please, I beg, rescue me from him. I am in the tallest tower of Dawnfall Castle, in Duskerfield Valley of the Kingdom of Scatheudo. Should you succeed, the Kingdom and all its lands shall be yours, and I your happy wife, to stand by your side as we explore all the realm we will rule together. —Graciously awaiting you, Princess Salem.

You just can’t help but feel sorry for how desperate she must’ve been, to offer her hand to the first guy who can reach her. And think of how lucky she was that it was Ozma who reached her, and not any of the rough-looking folk we saw in the RWBY: Fairytale episode. I made up the names of the location of the castle on the spot pretty much, and looked at proto-germanic for the name of the Kingdom. Would you believe me that I took inspiration for the structure of the letter from that bit in Monty Python and the Holy Grail? xD

More castle tweaking and redesign, put an actual wall around the whole place so that it was, ya know, defensible? xD perspective remains the bane of my existence, but I did a convincing-enough job with this. Happy Salem’s so cute, I don’t get to draw her smiling and showing off her dimples enough. :3

RED. I did also redesign the soldiers of the king’s castle. I actually forgot that we were given a glimpse of the soldiers in RWBY: Fairytales, and so went through the process of researching what armor style to use and how to dress them and this and that. And then I double-checked the episode and saw we actually had a glimpse of them. Oops. xD But I liked my design more than super-heavy duty one shown in canon, which I felt clashed with the castle’s overall aesthetic and the role of archers I wanted to portray them with. And so, I used the design I came up with for them anyways wwwww.

No longer happy Salem. :c Throughout each of the frames I drew for my scene, I kept playing with how the colors were done. It’s mostly filters to save on time, and lots of experimentation was done each time to achieve the exact looks I wanted.

I love when I can work on a drawing and profoundly feel the emotions the picture is meant to have. The perspective is fucked but once again i didn’t care very much lol. My main focus was showing Salem’s magic mirror now shattered, as she’s given up on ever leaving her tower. ;n;

Highlighting Ozma as the other main player in the story by him being the only other person given a full palette and not just colored with a contrasting solid color with the bg. :0 I did not give a flying fuck about attempting to replicate the actual design on Ozma’s staff, so we get a bunch of swirlies(and sometimes not even those LMAO).

This was almost a completely different image! The script talks about Ozma facing the King and his forces, and at first I just sort of copied what we were shown in RWBY: Fairytales. However, that never quite sat right with me. We’re told that Ozma used his cunning to defeat the king, but then the Fairytale just kind of showed him generically fighting the soldiers, albeit with magic instead of a sword? That never seemed very cunning to me though, and I couldn’t tell what the difference was supposed to be that made Ozma more qualified to rescue Salem than the others.

And so, I came up with the idea that Ozma really does use trickery and cunning to circumvent the castle’s main defenses and approach the king directly. It’s a little complex here and there was a lot of information to try and get across, but basically what’s happened is that Ozma has disguised himself as the dead queen in order to gain access to the castle and to the throne room without having to dismantle all the defenses. The king, of course, is able to see through the disguise with his own magic, but was allowing to hear out the charlatan if only for the novelty of their trick and the chance to see his wife again. I also felt it would be cool if Ozma used the image of the dead queen to chew out the king for his actions, abusing their daughter the way he has, and no doubt planning even worse atrocities in the future towards her in order to keep her locked up for the rest of her natural life.

A poignant moment  that deserved a frame by itself, and a minimal-effort floor lmao.

The big meeting! This was a moment I was very excited to draw. In small contrast to canon, I felt that the way Salem was portrayed in the show was that she was just a little too ready for Ozma to burst in all swashbuckling. So here I made a point to portray Salem as having been in the middle of something, because obviously why would she expect a visitor to bust in, let alone a complete stranger? She was occupying herself the way she always does, with her hobbies, in this case playing the violin.

From here on out the scene also uses more and more vibrant palettes for the environment, because ooo salem’s world is expanding and becoming more colorful thanks to ozma ooooo symbolism oooooo

Also a fun moment to draw. Salem’s delight contrasted with Ozma’s shock at seeing how young Salem really is. Plus I love dramatic height differences in characters, they’re so fun lol. You think Salem hurt her head at all against Ozma’s armor, rushing him like that? :,)

One of those trickier scenes to do, it’s always hard to figure out a character’s height relative to another when they’re kneeling. I think I accidentally drew Ozma a little small here, breadth-wise if not height-wise, but oh well. This is also the last view we get of Salem’s bedroom, fare thee well!

Here, it was all about the expressions for me. I wanted to emphasize the kindness in Ozma’s eyes as he pities this child who was prepared to offer him literally everything just for helping her escape a bad situation, and the lovey-dovey look in Salem’s eyes as she’s completely smitten for her rescuer. As a side note, I consistently struggled to draw Ozma. From his armor to his face and hair, he was just very challenging to me. xD

Some commenters from the video thought it was kinda funny that Ozma was covering Salem’s eyes as he led her out of the castle. I agree. xD It’s one of the smaller, practical things that I think make for very nice touches in storytelling. Such as Ozma realizing “it would probably be really bad if she saw her dad’s corpse on the floor, or the corpses of any of the other people who worked in the castle, I better cover her eyes and lead her out by hand.”

Some might note this is very different from canon, where it states that Ozma and Salem fought their way back out of the castle together. But tbh that didn’t really make a lot of sense, especially after the RWBY: Fairytales episode came out? If Salem could fight her way out the whole time, why did she need Ozma to rescue her? If Ozma had to defeat the king and his soldiers first to get to her at all, then who the hell were they fighting on the way out? The straggling survivors, the noncombatant servants? So we cut that detail, in the interest of maintaining logical continuity. Salem will have her chance to be badass and uber-powerful later in life, it doesn’t need to happen while she’s still a teen.

There’s also something I quite like about the imagery of a knight using his cape to help shield his maiden from something, very noble and chivalrous.

Had to shrink this image a bit for tumblr! The last frame of my scene, and the most colorful. Ozma’s horse here is a peacock leopard appaloosa! I was looking for horses so that I wouldn’t just give him a generic-looking one, and decided that appaloosas were perfect for a mage like Ozma. Spent a little more time detailing the forest here as well, I’m pleased with how it came out. It would’ve been nice to include a frame of Salem looking back and seeing for the very first time that there was a statue of her mother positioned over her room like a guardian angel, but alas, it would’ve been superfluous. :,) and i was tired by this point wwww

Now let it be said we like Salem’s canon design, quite a lot actually, but we like it for adult Salem, not a Salem who’s meant to be 16. xD We never expected we would need to do this, but @themixedcoffee​ whipped this up in the discord and me and Butterfly pretty much fell in love with it, it’s so cute and perfect, and so we just pretty much went and wholesale made it her official teen design. I like how she looks kind of bookish and unkempt, sort of like the awkward teen you might expect Salem to be, quiet and raised with good manners, but raring to let loose and run wild.

Of course, there were other redesigns which made their appearances this episode. O.O We reaallly weren’t jazzed by the technicolor mannequins that canon gave us for the designs of the Gods. xD We felt they could use more style, more flair, some pants, and just generally be more interesting to look at. For Light, we leaned into those eastern influences from his dragon, and went very bishounen for him. We also thought that Light/life as a concept was more nuanced than just creation, and that there were elements of a need to fight and defend in order to protect life, hence giving him the armor. We figure that Light specifically makes himself approachable for humans, which is why he’s so human-like(despite being 8 feet tall lol). Though i also liked adding the touch that when he’s angry the facade starts to drop and his features become more inhuman. O.O Another thing I quite like about his design here is adding a point of sharp contrast by giving him a purple gem. The darkness within light type of thing, to kind of bring the brothers more towards a yin/yang dynamic. Speaking of...

For Dark, our perspective was that he wouldn’t care about trying to impress humans or be approachable for them. He was the less-acknowledged yet still very important half of his brother, for without destruction there can be no creation, and volcanoes distribute fertile soil vital for plant growth after their eruptions.

As a slight compensatory act and a nod towards the more general prevalence of darkness as opposed to light, he gets to be twice as big as his brother. We were looking at all sorts of references and inspirations for him, to explicitly make as inhuman and macabre looking as possible. The cracks on his body also came from volcanic allusions, like his skin is cracking rocks. The floating, expressionless mask in place of a head came from a claymation movie about Mark Twain and a very creepy scene in it featuring The Actual Devil who also uses a mask instead of having a head. His forearms having gaps in them came from the 80s Bakshi movie Wizard, wherein the villain in that had a similar thing going on with his arms. Not really human, not really alive, and not really there either. I think my favorite part is probably his eyes being the sole spot of bright color in his design, light shining in the darkness.

And finally Maria!! I was very excited to work on her design and for people to finally see it in our rewrite. Some may think that it’s surprising that we redid Maria’s young design as well as her old design, but if you ask me, her young design isn’t very good either. xD I wanted her to have more colors, to have contrasting colors. To make the blue really pop and to make her look like the Grimm Reaper she was supposed to be. Hence the use of black and gray, with blue and orange as highlights to capture the eye. Tweaked the design of her mask as well to be more elaborate and a little more sugar-skull like. C’mon RWBY, you’re a 3d animated show, you can go for the fancy patterns and textures way more than a 2d artist like me can. xD We also made a point of making old Maria a more normal size instead of being a midget. I get that aging can make you shorter and Maria canonically as terrible posture, but it’s not that extreme. xD In both cases, I paid special attention to suggestions that were made by the members of our team who were actually mexican/hispanic/latino, which is actually quite a lot and they were very helpful to me. xD Maria’s goggles were also simplified just a bit.

Wow that was a lot of art to cover! This post almost didn’t survive it, had several failed uploads happen. xD But we’re not done yet! Even more art and redesigns are waiting in the future, which I’ll be just excited to talk about! So stay tuned, and thanks for watching/reading! ;D Btw, if you want a better view of the images in this post, here’s the twitter thread I made featuring all of them, so check that out as well! https://twitter.com/Erica_D_C/status/1624121234010013721

[widowsliver]

ok. this will be fun but playlist for your life right now? with explanations on why you like them / how they related to you. (idm whether its 5 or 20 songs, i need recommendations and i need explanations AHAHA)

omg best question ever award. initially I wanted to keep this like ‘album length’ (max 15 songs) but we’ll see how it goes :’) also so sorry this took like forever I kept changing everything LMAO

track 1 — ‘the 1975’

being funny in a foreign language, the 1975

a pretty obvious choice for the opening song. was a toss up if it was either going to include the bfiafl version or the self-titled version — in the end decided to go with the bfiafl version because of the lyric “I’m sorry if you’re living and you’re seventeen”, because I am seventeen. therefore it was more appropriate to include this one whilst I can! like I said, I was undoubtedly going to start with a version of ‘the 1975’ because it’s the perfect representation and reset of the things that I love.

track 2 — ‘you belong with me (taylor’s version)’

fearless (taylor’s version), taylor swift

now the next two songs are basically the representation of my childhood. before I even fully knew who taylor actually was, I was obsessed with watching the music video for this song and I was absolutely in love with it. when I got older and went my own way before finding my way back to her, the amount of nostalgia I got from this song was insane — making me love her even more now. fearless will forever & always (pun!!!) be my favourite taylor album.

track 3 — ‘red (taylor’s version)’

red (taylor’s version), taylor swift

much like you belong with me, the whole red album was the album that I actively remember listening to the most when I was in primary school and actually grasped taylor as a person for the first time. madness to think how full circle I’ve actually come now that I’m going into year 13 (over a decade later).

track 4 — ‘roxanne’

outlandos d’amour, the police

this has been one of my top spotify songs for quite some time, and I first started listening to it because it came from one of my favourite films / musicals of all time — moulin rouge! my uncle also has the picture disc for this album (if my memory serves me right) so it’s also nostalgic to have that family connection to it, I always love what music is capable of doing in terms of relationships. it’s absolutely magical.

track 5 — ‘stuck on a puzzle’

submarine soundtrack, alex turner

I was introduced to this song through the film ‘submarine’ (richard ayoade) as it was one of my set texts for a-level media studies. majority of my class heavily disliked the film, but it instantly shot to one of my favourites of all time — the cinematography along with the soundtrack is some of the most masterful work I’ve ever had the pleasure of viewing. the lyrics themselves in the song also just gives me that mellow feeling when listening to it (as alex turner’s voice itself is amazing). I’m also welsh, so watching the film gives me the same feeling as gavin & stacey, constantly picking out locations that I know and also sharing almost the exact same accent as to the ones in the film haha!

track 6 — ‘thick skull’

this is why, paramore

these next few songs I’ve placed in the playlist to sort of represent my long battle with mental health problems (which I’m very happy and proud to admit that currently I’m the happiest I have ever been since I was like 9 lol), and thick skull does that perfect representation (also whilst being sung by hayley williams, what more can a girl ask for). the sinking feeling that I get from listening to this song truly does feel like drowning in the best of ways, mimicking that battle that you have to have with yourself. from the slow start to the layered buildup towards the end, it truly does feel like an explosion.

track 7 — ‘i always wanna die (sometimes)’

a brief inquiry into online relationships, the 1975

I feel like I am constantly talking about this song so I probably won’t elaborate on it that much, but from suffering with a personal loss that’s represented almost to a t through this song is why it’ll always be so important to me. from “your death it won’t happen to you, it happens to your family and your friends” to “if you can’t survive, just try”, anything else I could possibly say is in the lyrics themselves.

track 8 — ‘fine line’

fine line, harry styles

this songs included because it reminds me of one of my bestest friends in the entire world. although this doesn’t have the deepest meaning behind it, when we both went to a harry styles concert together, a group of girls in the row behind us snapped a photo of us hugging each other during fine line and it’s become my favourite photo of all time. I’ll include it at the bottom, so then this song just became our song :)

track 9 — ‘the crow & the butterfly’

sound of madness, shinedown

this song comes from one of my dads favourite albums, and the instruments in this song are just breathtaking. my nan also vehemently hates the idea of me getting tattoos, and when I asked her what I should get for her, other than being like don’t you dare; she said get a butterfly (with the most annoyed look on her face ever hahahah). therefore this song also reminds me of her :)

track 10 — ‘symptom of being human’

planet zero, shinedown

this other shinedown track is also included because one of the best concerts I’ve ever been too was on the planet zero tour. also, listen to this song and pay attention to the lyrics because it’s so emotional and the meaning behind it is insane. it really makes you feel seen and special!

track 11 — ‘i’m so sick’

flyleaf, flyleaf

this is included because it’s just one of my favourite songs of all time, and the vocalist on the track (lacey sturm) is just an absolute powerhouse! no other reason other than that hahaha.

track 12 — ‘aimee’

ozzmosis, ozzy osbourne

pretty obvious, it’s my name (and I love ozzy anyways).

track 13 — ‘funny how love is’

queen II, queen

queen have always and will always be one of my favourite bands of all time (as I’m absolutely in love with roger taylor) and queen II is just my absolute favourite album by them, and one of my tops of all time. this song reminds me of me first starting my vinyl collection and going record hunting for the first time, in which I bought first pressings of their debut self titled album and queen II.

track 14 — ‘all I need to hear’

being funny in a foreign language, the 1975

one of my favourites on the album that means so much to me, so had to include it for that reason. I love singing along to the track over any other 1975 song, and also getting to hear tim healy sing this live at finsbury was just magical.

track 15 — ‘sunshine baby’

in the end it always does, the japanese house

again, one of my favourite artists of all time, and one of my favourite albums of all time. this is my favourite song on the album and it just gives me vibes haha! some of my favourite flowing lyrics of all time as well, “the feeling when the windscreen wipers line up with the song”.

track 16 — ‘sincerity is scary’

a brief inquiry into online relationships, the 1975

had to include this because it comes from my favourite 1975 album, and I wanted to include it because I feel like it perfectly demonstrates meaningful but satirical lyricism.

track 17 — ‘mean (taylor’s version)’

speak now (taylor’s version), taylor swift

again, a pretty simple reason (I’m running out of things to waffle about at this point, only so many times can I say I love a song) but this one goes out to all the negativity that people have tried to feed into my life, because they will never define you :)

track 18 — ‘i am the fire’

into the wildlife, halestorm

halestorm are also another band that my dad introduced me too, and seeing them live for the first time and getting a pick from a concert for the first time will always be a stand out memory to me. also, I love the message behind the song and how uplifting it can be!

track 19 — ‘i bet you look good on the dance floor’

whatever people say I am that’s what I’m not, arctic monkeys

this song reminds me of my other best mate in the whole entire world, who I’ve known for years. she’s always been a bigger arctic monkeys fan that I have and I am so proud of her for accomplishing everything she has today. although she’ll never see this I’m so proud of her! more than she’d ever know.

track 20 — ‘left behind’

plush (released as a single)

from another one of my favourite bands of all time, this is their newest single release. it’s hard, it’s heavy, and I absolutely love jamming out to it. a girl rock band all under 22 — sign me up!

track 21 — ‘girls, girls, girls’

girls girls girls, mötley crüe

recently saw mötley crüe in wembley with my dad, and it was so emotional being able to see his all time favourite band with him. this was one of the first mötley songs that I ever listened to and realised oh shit my dad wasn’t lying!

track 22 — ‘give yourself a try’

a brief inquiry into online relationships, the 1975

favourite 1975 song. means so much to me. the message is just the most important.

track 23 — ‘people’

notes on a conditional form, the 1975

ending on a complete high, reminds of the end of finsbury (the best gig ever) when I absolutely lost my shit and had the most adrenaline ever. really sums up the person who I’ve become!

so turns out this was actually insanely difficult — listen time clocking in at 1hr & 27m. but this genuinely just sums up me as a person, absolutely all over the place, up and down, leaving you thinking ‘wtf is going on’. I hope you enjoy, and if you don’t recognise any of the songs, I would 110% recommend them :) (also could u tell I literally had to cut down so many the 1975 songs and couldn’t just have it all them LMAO)

bonus tracks:

forget (ashley suppa), all dead all dead (queen), epiphany (mammoth wvh), over there (the japanese house), nana (the 1975), I couldn’t be more in love (the 1975), nothing revealed / everything denied (the 1975)

[weirdkpopgirl]

Periods | Dream Reaction #4

Reaction: When their GF is on their period

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Mentions of period cramps and blood? Idk lol

Word Count: 1956k

Author’s Note: So I’ve actually been working on this one for quite a while. But writer’s block kept getting in the way. I apologize in advance because these are kinda short. Also, I know some people may not be comfortable with this topic, and I’m certainly not entirely either (kinda silly Ik). I just thought it could bring comfort to us girls out there? Anyway, thank you for reading 😊

~ ~ ~

MARK

In the early stages of your relationship, when situations like this arose, Mark used to feel a bit uncertain about what he should do. But he was so patient and attentive with you. If you texted him not to come over because you were on your period, he would likely disregard it and come over anyway.

He’d ask if you needed anything and get it for you right away. Furthermore, he’d readily give you cuddles upon your request. Mark sort of viewed this as an opportunity to have a lazy day with you and unwind. You’d be resting your head on his lap while he talked about work or his members. 

“Then Johnny Hyung said we should try this and I was like ‘huh?’” Your boyfriend chatted animatedly. 

While some might have found this incessant talking bothersome, you found it quite endearing. Mark's enthusiastic storytelling served as a pleasant diversion, and you appreciated his openness about his life updates.

Consequently, every time the week of your menstrual cycle rolled around, you and Mark would embrace it as an opportunity to rejuvenate and relish some valuable moments together.

✎__________________________________________________________

RENJUN

Renjun would probably do some research on periods. Like what might help with cramps and how to handle various PMS symptoms. Although you were perfectly capable of managing these aspects on your own, as your boyfriend, he wanted to contribute in any way possible.

To your surprise, Renjun presented you with a comprehensive list of his findings. He'd brew a soothing cup of tea for you and offer herbal medicine. He even went the extra mile to find the best pads for your comfort. He even downloaded the same period tracking app onto his phone to so he could prepare in advance! His dedication left you feeling like he was acting as your caretaker, surpassing all expectations.

You blinked a few times, overwhelmed when he started to do all this. “Renjun—I really don’t think all this is necessary.”

“It’s important to take care of your body, (Y/n)-ah,” He gently chided.

His affectionate words would elicit a smile from you, filling you with gratitude for having such a considerate and caring boyfriend.

✎__________________________________________________________

JENO

Your period always came with bad timing. As you were diligently working on a presentation, another cramp shot through your abdomen. Inhaling deeply, you balled your fingers into fists and pressed them against your palms.

Not even a minute passed before you looked up to catch your boyfriend shaking his head disapprovingly. Whenever he noticed you neglecting self-care, he took swift action. Without uttering a word, Jeno scooped you up into his arms and carried you with bridal elegance to his bedroom.

“Jeno, I’m seriously fine!” You insisted. “It’s not like I’m sick or anything.”

Yet, escaping his grasp proved futile. Your objections gradually faded as he gently laid you upon his bed.

“We’re going to rest here,” He declared, settling beside you. “And you’re not going to think about school.”

A resigned sigh slipped past your lips, fully aware that there was no point in fighting him on this. Jeno knew how you hated to leave things like work off to the side. But he just couldn’t stand to watch you in pain. 

“I think you’re just using my period as an excuse to cuddle,” You mumbled with a slight pout. 

“Maybe a little?” 

Your boyfriend's nose nestled into the crook of your neck. His sturdy arms enveloped your waist securely, while one hand tenderly massaged your lower abdomen, where the cramps were bothering you.

Gradually, discomfort and concerns retreated to the background. Ironically, Jeno grew even more affectionate during your period. But you really couldn’t complain. 

✎__________________________________________________________

HAECHAN

Initially, the experience was a little weird for Haechan. He felt sort of bad that you had to go through this monthly ordeal, and he couldn’t really do anything about it. Luckily, you managed to maintain a relatively steady demeanor during your period, which alleviated some of his concerns. While the occasional cramps were bothersome, your overall mood didn't undergo drastic changes, at least not visibly.

During these times, you found yourself grappling with intense emotional surges that deviated from your usual disposition. They were something you couldn’t exactly control and you hated it. Because of that, you tried to stay away from Haechan and deal with things on your own.

Eventually, Haechan would catch on to this and convince you to open up to him. You told him about your tendency to internalize your emotions, which made him feel terrible. While he was an expressive person, you struggled to share how you felt. But once he was more aware, the signs became a lot clearer and he knew what to look out for. 

“You know I’m always here for you, Jagiya,” He’d often remind you. You would be sitting at the end of the sofa together, as he spoke softly. “You can cry if you want to, or yell if you’re upset about something. You don’t have to hold it all in when you’re with me.”

Hearing him say this would make you feel so grateful. He was quick to gently wipe the first tear that fell. “I don’t want to be a burden to you,” You admitted. 

He would let out a sad chuckle in response. “Believe me babe when I say that you’re never a burden to me.”

Haechan's embrace tightened around you, enveloping you in a reassuring warmth. “You love me at my worst, and I'll do the same for you.”

You seriously could not ask for a sweeter boyfriend than Lee Donghyuck.

✎__________________________________________________________

JAEMIN

You were coming back to the Dream dorm after a lunch date with Jaemin. As you both entered and removed your shoes, a soft gasp escaped your lips. He was about to ask if you were okay before you quickly excused yourself to the bathroom.

Even though you didn’t say anything, he picked up on the situation pretty fast. Being the thoughtful boyfriend he was, Jaemin had become a total pro when your time of the month came. While you rarely complained much about such times, he still took it upon himself to pamper and care for you during this phase.

You shyly walked out of the bathroom, embarrassed by your current predicament. However, any trace of self-consciousness dissipated as you re-entered the living room. Before you, Jaemin had gathered an array of items - his hoodie, a cozy blanket, and a selection of chocolate he discovered in the pantry. Most notably, he sat on the couch, donning the most endearing smile.

You almost wanted to cry with how considerate your boyfriend was. Coming over to sit by him on the couch, you couldn’t help but pout a little. 

“You didn’t have to go through all this trouble for me."

“I wanted to though,” He responded simply. “Just let me spoil you, Princess.”

Exhaustion outweighed any inclination to argue, prompting you to let Jaemin draw you into his embrace. Truthfully, his cuddles proved exceptionally soothing during times like these. In moments such as this, you couldn't help but think that if more guys were as caring as Jaemin, the world would indeed be a much kinder place.

✎__________________________________________________________

CHENLE

Perhaps it was the stigma of when a girl was on her time of the month or the culture you grew up in. But you always felt strangely self-conscious about your period. You were also not used to having a boyfriend, making you especially shy and awkward about this. So you unintentionally avoided the topic with Chenle. 

Then came that particular night when you and Chenle were having a sleepover at the Dream dorm. The hour was late, yet everyone remained awake and engaged. As you yawned, your gaze fixed on Chenle triumphing over Jisung in a video game.

Somewhere in the middle of the game, your eyes widened when you felt a familiar sensation that caused a surge of panic to shoot through you. Immediately recognizing that your period had begun, you had to stifle a gasp with your hand. Despite your efforts, Chenle detected your startled expression.

“What’s the matter?” He asked, concern evident in his voice.

Jisung leaned forward as well. “Yeah, are you okay?”

Your cheeks heated up at their questions, unsure of what to do in this situation. The worst part was that you didn’t have any pads on you. 

“Um—it’s nothing. I just need to use the bathroom,” You managed to reply, rising from your seat.

Tentatively, you glanced at the spot where you had been sitting, relieved to find no evidence of a red stain.

Despite your attempt to downplay the situation, Chenle wasn't oblivious. When you failed to reemerge from the bathroom promptly, he abandoned the game and went to check on you. That's when he encountered you by the front door, in the process of putting on your shoes. You hoped to slip out unnoticed and buy the feminine products you required from a nearby store.

“(Y/n), why are you leaving?” His brows knit in confusion. “Did something happen?”

Cursing inwardly, you turned to face him. "No, I just left something at home. I'll grab it and come back."

“What’s at home that we don’t have here?” Sighing, you realized that you didn’t have much of a choice but to tell Chenle the truth before he misunderstood something.

Reluctantly, you explained to Chenle that you had gotten your period and needed to buy pads. To your surprise, he was pretty chill about the situation.

“That’s it?” He remarked. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

You shrugged, “I was embarrassed.”

Chenle shook his head and hugged you before offering to go to the store to get pads for you. You argued against it but he insisted. Most likely, you would have to text him the right ones to buy. When he got back, he let you borrow his clothes to change into.

From that point on, Chenle made sure to make it clear to you that you didn’t need to be afraid of coming to him about those things. Yeah, he was young and could be childish at times, but he didn’t want you to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. Of course, you were grateful for how understanding he was.

✎__________________________________________________________

JISUNG

Similar to Mark, Jisung tended to be somewhat clueless when it came to dealing with your menstrual cycle. On one such occasion, you found yourself reclining on the couch, taking slow breaths in an attempt to ease the cramps that had taken hold. The poor boy would just be watching you helplessly, obvious as to how to respond. Consequently, he'd repeatedly check on you every ten seconds.

“Does it hurt a lot?”

“Are you hungry?”

“Do you want a blanket?”

“Jisung just shut up,” You retorted with your right arm covering your eyes.

You cherished Jisung's intentions and recognized his well-meaning efforts. Nonetheless, your current state left you considerably annoyed, and his stream of questions wasn't helping matters.

“Oh, okay,” He murmured softly.

However, just as he made a move to leave, you grasped his hand and tugged him down until he was lying beside you in a face-to-face position.

“I’ll be fine,” You told him. “Just stay here with me, for a little while.”

Eager to do something, he allowed your arms to envelop his torso, guiding your head to rest on his chest. A faint smile played on Jisung's lips as he brushed a strand of hair away from your forehead.

Although he'd never admit it openly, Jisung relished having you close in such a manner. Instances, when you sought his affection, were relatively infrequent, and he felt an unexpected sense of protectiveness towards you. In this position, you and he would contentedly remain for the rest of the day, potentially drifting off to sleep at some point.

✎__________________________________________________________

[opinated-user]

Lilys new vid kinda comes off as bootlicker towards company’s lol ( has she reviewed any ‘indie’ cartoons beside hazbin)

i have a few thoughts watching the video:

-does LO know that friends to lovers is also a trope and that it can also be badly handled? she bashes catradora for being so desperate to fit the trope enemy to lovers by "sad pathetic people", but constantly puts on friends to lovers as the best possible outcome for any possible story that everyone likes and it's inherently better. pokemadhouse actually is the perfect example of a badly written friends to lovers if g and c!LO got together because G has done so much horrible things to c!LO that ignoring it makes it more psychologically disturbing than catradora. it doesn't matter if on the actual text are not together because the reasoning is not because G did those things but because it's "illegal". LO writes these abusive situations and then asks the readers to ignore ir for the sake of enjoying the melodrama or "wholesome" moments, apparently not realizing any wholesome element is immediately nulled by the ignored abuse.

-LO does not understand how the industry works... or timelines. she prefers to blame author having bad ideas and bad tastes before admiting that the "last episode confirmation of queerness" is corporate meddling and not because "it's more exciting to end a show like that". She-ra's popularity did gave foot to TOH's rep because executive saw that, realized that it was making money, it wasn't losing business and only then did allowed it on their Network... but only for a while because that was the reason the show got butchered in the end too. every little bit of rep we had in the past helped out the next because executives kept seeing allowing queer characters to exist even on children's show was profitable. not even once LO talks about how the wedding episode, the one she thinks is not good rep and did nothing, was also the reason why SU got cut from the originally longer plan they had.

she seems to have the notion that if this creators really did care they could have done everything they supposedly wanted, so if the result is less than perfect then they only have themselves to blame, effectively taking any responsability off the companies who are ultimately responsible for giving the resources for these creators to do anything.

-to be someone who hates anime so much i don't understand why she keeps bringing it up to undermine rep in the west. anime and manga have long had queer stories with queer characters than we currently have on the west, but western companies have no reason to care about that because the cultures are different, the target demographics are different, the public in general is different so they can't see those numbers and treated them the same. USA companies started airing anime because it was cheap and got them an audience with them barely doing anything for it, not because they actually cared about those stories beyond sanitize them to make them more "kid friendly."

more than that, bringing Sailor moon as example of "good rep" that is better than any other western show when originally many people knew them as too close "cousins" in the USA and that was their only connection to the story until much later when they had internet and could view the full context of what happened... it's so reductive and doesn't do any good for her argument that the "bad rep" (korrasami, SU, she-ra... Utena for some reason) didn't do anything for the sake of improving or helping future, better rep in the future.

she talks about how viewing each of these shows as "the cornstones" that did something new is a "capitalist" mindset... because anime existed before. at the same time she talks about how it's a collective effort where everyone helped each other and... i don't understand how she can both get it and also don't? it's so confusing to follow her reasoning, even when i have see her talk about this so many times before. it's like she has all the points but she refuses to make any connection between them for the sake of her narrative, one where all the shows she doesn't like never did anything good for anyone and the corporations did nothing wrong.

-to answer your question: no, she has never reviewed anything not made by corporations beyond hazbin hotel and makes no sense because the indie scene is bursting with queer characters and stories. MO at least sometimes goes out of that restrictive bubble LO wraps herself in to search for more diverse stories and talk positively about them, but it seems that unless it's a major production that is "official" LO has no interest...

who is the one with the capitalist point of view now.

[emerald-chaos]

Touchdown

*gif not mine, credit goes to the owner*

I just want to take a moment to say thank you for the love on my last fic! It made my lil ole heart swell to see that peopled enjoyed it enough to leave a like or reblog.

This is just something special I had in my arsenal that I wrote for a friend a few months ago. I touched it up a bit and added a few things here and there. It all started when we were talking about how much we loved when Chris' accent got heavier after he'd been drinking, and well, I couldn't help myself lol. I hope you enjoy the fluff! xoxo

I apologize for any grammatical errors, I tried to proof-read but am also a little exhausted lol.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Word Count: 2844

Warnings: I don't think there's anyway? Mentions of being drunk/drinking alcohol, cursing, and illusions to sexy times, but that's about it.

You hadn’t noticed how furiously your knee was bouncing up and down until the person sitting next to you on the subway got up to move seats once the train squealed to a stop. You sighed and ran your hands down the front of your thighs. Normally being a little late didn’t bother you as much, but tonight you were meeting him.

You flipped your wrist over to check your watch. 8:30pm. In all honesty, it had probably been only thirty seconds later than when you checked it the last time. Another deep sigh escaped from your lips as you started to become hyper aware of the train remaining still at the current stop. What could possibly be taking so long? You knew he wouldn’t care if you were running late, but the time the two of you had together already felt so minuscule. You wanted to capitalize on every second you could.

The train began moving again and you slumped back into your seat, feeling only a small amount of relief. It was becoming painfully apparent that you needed to try and relax. You could feel the sweat building up on your body, the sting on your palms from where your fingernails were pressing in with a vengeance moments ago, and you could hear your heart thumping in your ears. Your hand dug around in your purse for a few moments before finding the small case you were looking for. Opening it, you slipped your headphones into your ears and let your head rest on the window behind you as music intertwined with your thoughts.

Once upon a time, you made fun of people who decided to go to grad school. What kind of a clown would spend thousands of MORE dollars and go BACK to school?? Not to mention the stress of the assignments, the due dates - it was not for you...or so you thought.

Now here you are, a regular booboo the fool.

NYU’s graduate program for design and merchandising wasn’t necessarily part of your 5-year plan, but when the opportunity landed in front of you it was difficult to pass up. NYU was a school you had only dreamt of attending back in high school. When you were a senior in high school you were able to tour the campus and fell in love immediately. Hours upon hours were spent researching grants, scholarships, and all sorts of ways to try to make it happen. However, the dream ended as most teenage dreams do - crushed. There was no way you or your parents could afford the loans that it would surely wrack up to attend the out of state university, and there was no way you could ask your parents take on that kind of debt just so you could go to college. UMass was the way to go - close to home and familiar. Not to mention you were able to obtain several scholarships and grants that helped bring down the cost tremendously. Little did you know, boring ole UMass would bring you one of the most important things in your life.

Applying for graduate school wasn’t an easy decision and one you couldn’t really take all the credit for. A smile crept across your face as you reminisced on the night you nervously brought up the idea to your long-term boyfriend.

“I think you should do it,”

“I know, right?” you scoffed, “it’s insane, why would I do something so stup...wait, what? You do?”

“Of course I do. This is something you love and that you’re passionate about. Do you know how many hours of my life were spent listening to you ramble about NYU?” he questioned with a grin.

“It will open up so many doors for you. We can make things work,” a chuckle escaped from those beautiful lips as he saw your dumbfounded expression. He wrapped his fingers around your waist and pulled you close, “What? Did you expect me to forbid it? Cmon, baby, what kind of guy do you take me for?”

You didn’t have a lot of wins in your life, but you did have Chris.

When you got accepted, he took off a week from work to drive you 3 and a half hours south to help get you settled and moved into your temporary new home. The two of you ate a disgusting amount of pizza, moved a ridiculous amount of heavy furniture in the middle of a summer heat wave, and enjoyed each other’s company before the long-distance thing would set in. Chris spent that week encouraging you every step of the way, talking you off the ledge when you were convinced you had made the wrong decision, and made sure to help you christen every possible surface of your new place in the most deliciously sinful way.

You bit your lip slightly at the thought and a warm feeling spread across your face. Chris was one of the most incredible people you had met in this world. Kind, caring, funny, intelligent, passionate, and god was he sexy. The connection the two of you had was scary at first, but now you just couldn’t imagine spending your life with anyone else.

The robotic voice came over the loud-speaker in the subway car and you were rudely ripped back to reality as it pulled into your stop. You hurriedly scooped up your bag and jogged off the train.

It had been a promise between the two of you when you moved that there would be equal effort when it came to visiting and keeping in contact while having good, open communication. Long distance was hard but the two of you were determined to make it work. FaceTime calls, hours upon hours of texting, and even as far as writing the occasional letter back and forth (because your boyfriend was a hopeless romantic and you loved it so much). This weekend was your turn to come home to visit, and of course your last class had to go longer than anticipated. Fuckin’ Tiffany and her stupid ass questions.

The muscles of your calves burned as you kept up your hurried pace, weaving through the crowds of people gathered on sidewalks outside of various clubs and restaurants. It was a weekend night and the Patriots were playing, which meant the city was more alive than usual. New York was it's own beast, but it was a different type of hustle and bustle. Nights like these made your heart ache for home - the thick Massachusetts accents, the rowdy voices of bar patrons arguing about the game, the hugs shared between family members as they parted after dinner, and the faint smell of nicotine and alcohol that hung in the air.

As the neon sign that hung in the pub window came in to view you felt your heart dip down into your stomach. Last weekend’s visit had to be cancelled due to some stuff coming up with Chris’ work and a surprise assignment for you, so you hadn’t seen your boyfriend in 2 weeks. With a deep breath you swung open the door and scanned the crowd for him. He told you that he would be there promptly at 7:15pm for pregame shenanigans with his friends - which actually translated to how many pitchers of beer could they suck down before kick off.

“Aw, come ON! That is such a bullshit call!”

You heard him before you saw him. Of course. A grin spread across your lips as you shook your head. The thought of leaving to avoid secondhand embarrassment crossed your mind briefly before you picked up your feet and made your way through the crowd toward the sound. A room full of people from New England and you would still recognize that voice anywhere.

Everyone else seemed to fade away as you saw the outline of the tall, dark haired man standing at the bar. The slight freckles that spattered the back of his neck, the Brady jersey that he spent WAY too much money customizing, and the signature backward ball cap were ingrained in your subconscious memory. Not to mention if you didn’t recognize his outline or his voice, you would definitely recognize that ass anywhere.

You loved how passionate he got about sports and the way his Boston accent seemed to get thicker with each beer he consumed. Growing up in the area, you wouldn't think the accent would send a tingle down your spine the way it does, but it was different - it was Chris. Not to mention the sparkle in his eye when he would watch his favorite team or the way he would get in to arguments whenever someone tried to say something negative about them. You loved your big, handsome, over-sized toddler man so damn much.

A light tap on his shoulder made him whip around, his slightly opened mouth from his interrupted conversation curved upwards into a wicked grin as he made the connection of who was finally standing in front of him.

“Hey there, handsome. I don’t see a ring on your finger. You single?” You grinned, feeling your entire body fill with warmth as Chris leaned back and grabbed his chest as he erupted in laughter.

“Nah, nah, nah, unfortunately for you I am taken” he responded as he snaked his arms around your waist, sliding his hands into your back pockets as he pulled you into his figure.

“That is too bad,” you tsk'd, running a finger down his toned bicep, “she’s one lucky girl.”

“I think I’m the lucky one,” he grinned. He leaned down to meet your lips in a kiss. You sighed into it, allowing your body to mold itself so perfectly into his. The taste of beer on his lips and the smell of his cologne was intoxicating - it was home. You immediately allowed him entrance as you felt his tongue glide along your bottom lip. Your body felt small in his strong grip and you couldn’t help but laugh a bit as he gave your ass a firm squeeze. Normally, this type of bold, public display of affection would make you cringe away but at this point you were lost in Chris that you had absolutely no shame. Each time the two of you embraced had always felt like the first. Your heart still fluttered and your knees still got weak, like you were a 16 year old being kissed for the first time.

In the middle of your reunion moment, however, something happened in the game that made the entire bar erupt in boo’s and curses. Chris lifted his lips from yours to look over his shoulder and inspect what he had missed. You laughed and shook your head as you pushed him back towards his friends and took a seat in the bar stool he had been standing behind initially. His large hands found a natural place on your shoulders. While his eyes remained glued on the TV he began applying a moderate amount of pressure to your neck and shoulders. You didn’t realize how much your body craved that touch, his touch, until you immediately melted back into him.

The bartender slid a beer in front of you with a wink and you mouthed your thanks. You felt a twinge in your heart as you looked around, taking in the atmosphere of the bar. This was a typical weekend night for the two of you whenever you were living together. Football, drinks, pub food, and friends. If it wasn’t this pub it was your living room, just a couple blocks away. You didn’t even mind that it was your first night back and you weren’t alone, spending it immediately wrapped up in your satin sheets. The atmosphere, the people - it was so warm and familiar that you really wouldn’t rather be doing anything else. Plus, being wrapped up together in the sheets was sure to follow.

“I missed you,” hummed a pair of lips as they placed a kiss on the shell of your ear. A shiver shot down your spine at the sensation of his warm breath fanning over your neck. You reached up a hand and connected it to the nape of his neck.

“I missed you too,” you replied, turning your head to plant a kiss on his stubbled cheek.

His arms changed position as he wrapped them in front of your shoulders and crossed them, resting his chin on the top of your head. Your hand absentmindedly rubbed his forearms as you nursed your beer and placed your focus onto the game for the first time tonight.

The laughter seemed to escape from your chest naturally and effortlessly the entire night, as it always had a habit of doing when Chris was around. The camaraderie between him and his buddies during a game was something you’d grown to enjoy over the years. Chris’ competitive nature and the way his jaw clenched when something wasn’t going the way he wanted was always kinda...hot. All of his friends were huge assholes, but in the best way. It was always entertaining to hear them jab at each other and do what they could to rile someone up. They were the life of every party you had ever attended and they had a way of making a boring night a lot more interesting.

Thankfully (for the integrity of the bar) the Pats won the game with a surprise touchdown in the last 30 seconds of the game. Chris, being the guy he is, bought a final round for his friends and a nearby group they had been going back and forth with all night. You couldn’t help but laugh as he drunkenly leaned across the counter and slurred his order to the bartender.

“I need a round for m’friends and for these assholes over here who thought Tom Brady was anything but a winner!” the group started yelling in protest and he simply waved them off and started sliding beers down the bar.

The group eventually moved to a bigger round top so everyone could shoot the shit and banter about the outcome of the game. You were tucked into Chris’ side, hands intertwined as he was passionately discussing the importance of Brady’s legacy with a stranger who made the mistake of stopping to talk to him. Your eyes followed the motion of your thumb as it traced small circles onto the back of his. Your other hand under your chin, holding up the weight of your head as your exhaustion started to catch up with you. Chris, although slightly drunk, picked up on your body language and raised your hand to his lips for a kiss.

“Alright, fellas,” he said as he stood up from his seat, pulling you up with him, “the lady and I are gonna call it a night. See you boys next weekend”.

“Chris, we don’t have to go,” you began to protest as he tucked his jacket around your shoulders.

“Mm, ‘course we do,” he replied with a soft smile, “you’re so tired, baby. I can see it in those beautiful eyes”.

You could feel your cheeks turn a light shade of pink as you rolled your eyes at his attempt at laying it on thick. After what felt like a proper 10 minute goodbye session, the group said their final goodbyes, hugs included, and you walked out of the pub hand in hand.

The walk home was filled with the sounds of cars passing by and conversation of what each other had missed in the week prior. Small talk typically felt like such a chore, but with Chris every conversation came naturally. Even when he had absolutely no idea what you were talking about, he would listen intently and ask all the questions as if it was the most interesting conversation in the world.

The lock on the apartment door clicked as you pushed it open and entered. You smiled as you stopped into the middle of the living room, taking in the home you missed so dearly. A soft tapping of toenails against the hardwood made your heart soar as you met the eyes of your sweet pup, Dodger. A squeal left your lips as you squatted down to give love to the sweet boy. Chris always made fun of you when you came home, saying that you always seemed to miss Dodger more than you did him and I mean, he wasn’t entirely wrong about that statement.

Once again lost in your own world, you didn’t even notice Chris leaned up against the wall watching you with a smile.

“Oh my god,” you gushed, standing up, “do you like...like me or something?”

Chris grinned as he crossed the room and caught your belt loop with his finger, pulling you into him slowly.

“Yeah,” his voice had dropped down an octave, “you could say that”.

“Mm,” your tongue swiped across your lower lip and you wrapped your arms around his neck, “care to show me how much?”

The look in his eyes made your core burn. The tension building between you two became too much to handle as you crashed your lips into his. The kisses were messy and you could feel the sense of urgency between you two. His beard scratched against the column of your throat with a delicious burn as he left wet kisses across your jaw and down the side of your neck. Chris’ hands found their way back into the ass pockets of your jeans as he started walking you back towards the direction of the bedroom.

Soon, there was a trail of clothes leading to your bedroom and you felt very sorry for your neighbors. It had been a long time, but Chris always had a way of welcoming you home.