#also i DID write this first but kept it in my drafts until i forced him to do some other drafts too
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luci4theminorannoyance · 5 months ago
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🧟Can I ask for a part 2 of the reader turned into a zombie and their partner protects the reader from getting shot? 🧟‍♀️
Bad ass goddess valeria, Hot Alejandro, Sweetheart Rudy, Cutie Gaz, and cute octopus Konig
I'm sorry if there are too many characters. It's just that I love your writing. I am seriously addicted to it. You're the best. 🫂
a/n: this- this draft has been sitting in my inbox for a whole 7 months I think… I’m so sorry. I totally forgot about me ever making that post because it’s old! Also to anons asking for part 2s, please try to link that writing of mine so I can refresh my memory without hunting through my posts :((
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Gaz:
-gaz had been haunted with nightmares since the day you got infected, barely eating, barely sleeping, barely thinking. Wanting to go home to your comfort but knowing there was no home and no ‘you’ to get comfort from
-you were kept in base until the task force found a cure, he knew that much, but he didn’t want to see you and didn’t want to see how he had failed you
-one night, in one of the colder months, he base was raided, all the doors open and enemies holding everyone hostage, the enemies discussing what to do with the hostages and the locked up zombies, including you, choosing to just end everyone
-And before gaz could think he had gotten out of his ropes and was standing in front of you shakily, not even sure you knew who he was or that you weren’t going to bite him
-he was shocked when he felt your cold icy hands hold him close from behind, watching as luckily back up showed up before he was shot by the enemies to begin with
-guilt starts to follow him after the event, because he never visited… you must have thought he was dead, or had left you! He visits you daily now until he finds the cure, which he’s determined to do
konig:
-konig was a colonel, high ranking and good at his job, so when the first waves of infection hit he was shoved into a bunker with you and he thought you and him were gonna be fine in the cozy setting his job had landed him
-oh how he was wrong.. one door breach, one minute of things going on that he couldnt control, and then you were bit. His whole future turning to dust in his eyes
-how could he ever go on without you? You were the one thing he was planning on staying for in the now messed up world
-since the bunker has been heavily destroyed by the ravage, he packed what he could and took you everywhere. He had some common idea that you knew who he was, that he proved with the fact you didn’t attempt to bite him nor hurt him, but it still made him feel so helpless to see you slowly rot ever so slightly
-he had stumbled across a camp with you one day, feeling something off about the place a second before he heard the all too familiar click of a sniper rifle being taken off of safety, and he quickly got in front of you, knowing you wouldn’t dare hurt him
-had some very choice words with the survivor after the fact, but at least he got some info on the newest solution attempts for the virus, which was a shot that would halt the rot and spread of contagious diseases in those turned to the undead. Which is better than nothing, right? He has hope that one day you’ll be safe in his arms, making his heart melt with your soft words again
Rudy:
-the cartel had grown and grown in the ruins of the virus like a weed, and soon started testing cures- who knew that the cartel would be a useful resource for once.
-that however did not stop from Alejandro and the vaqueros working in their little time trying to push Valeria out of the small still semi functional town
-most in las Almas hadn’t been affected due to the hills and lack of large population, but it didn’t stop some from getting infected… you being one of them
-Rudy was heart shattered when Alejandro had forced him to leave you in one of their safe houses, but he knew it was for the best
-after a particularly bad incident, the cartel had found most of their safe houses and bases and Alejandro knew they needed to move fast and grab only what the team needed to continue operating. What they didn’t need? A zombie. No matter how close to Rudy you may be
-Rudy, as soon as he learned of Alejandro’s plan, got down on his knees and begged and sobbed for Alejandro to change his mind, finally getting Alejandro’s soft heart to give up on trying enough that Rudy took you along with them to the newest base, softly leaning into you the whole time, enjoying your touch even if it was cold and uncomfortable
I’m so sleepy but uh- I’m sorry for not doing Alejandro and Valeria! I might try to do an actual follow up on this 😭
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lord-aldhelm · 4 months ago
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Writing Interview Tag Game!
Thank you for the tag @bagheerita! This one has taken me a while to do since it is so long. As with the original post I have pasted the template below the "read more" cut so you can copy and paste if you want to do this.
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About Me:
When did you start writing? Specifically for The Last Kingdom: it was sometime late in 2022, probably October or November. My original drafts kept getting over-written due to some stupid bug in Word which, when the auto-save was triggered, it would force me to save as a new document. So I have no idea exactly when, unfortunately. Besides this, I used to write a bit when I was a teenager, for my OC, but I never got further than a few chapters.
Are there different genres or themes you enjoy reading other than the ones you write? For fanfics: I mostly read TLK fanfics at the moment, and I suppose that falls under historical fiction/period drama. For genres, I like happy endings with some angst and mutual pining to make it interesting. For books: I am a fantasy nerd for sure.
Is there an author you want to emulate, or are compared to often? For fanfics I cannot think of one specifically, although reading fanfics has influenced the way I write. I have learned to incorporate more sensory descriptions in my writing, and trying to use more metaphors and poetic descriptions rather than the literal way of writing I normally do. For authors, I love JRR Tolkien, Tad Williams, and GRR Martin, so I suppose they influence me as well.
Can you tell me a bit about your writing space? I write on my laptop in my home office, using Microsoft Word.
What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse? Oh I cannot muster up a muse. They sneak up on me and invade my fantasies, highjacking my thoughts and holding me hostage until I write them down. lol! Although sometimes I might be inspired to write something based on a deranged convo with one of my friends, so there is that! Also, having people give me feedback on my writing definitely motivates me to write more.
Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and/or places you write about? Not particularly. I grew up in a lower middle class family in the suburbs, not really very inspirational. I do however have a very vivid and overactive imagination.
Are there any reoccurring themes in your writing? If so, do they surprise you? I have not written very much so I cannot say for sure. I only have one long fic and a few smaller fics, and they all center around the same character. I do like to take a deep dive into character development and introspection though. I really love thinking about what motivates the characters, and their inner thoughts.
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Characters
Would you please tell me about your current favorite character? Aldhelm... um... I have literally written whole entire essays about him so I won't go into detail here lmao!
Which of your characters would you be friends with in real life? Aldhelm for sure. He would be my bestie. And more...
Which characters would you dislike the most of you met them? Probably Aethelred.. he is such a whiny brat.
Tell me about the process of coming up with your characters? I am assuming this applies to OC's... which I have a few of in my stories! The first is Beohtric, which is Aldhelm's brother. Aldhelm needed a family and a backstory and I felt, most importantly, he needed an advocate, so I created Beohtric to be that person. Someone who supported Aldhelm and gave him some kind of center for his life. I have other OC's which are more kind of side characters created for a purpose, like Wulfstan in the fic about how Aldhelm became captain of the guard. Then there are other characters which are deceased at the time of writing, but I still came up with personalities and backstories for them because they were relevant to the plot. There is another major OC for a story I am working on, who is based on a few characters from other series/movies, as well as being a sort of alter-ego.
Do you notice any reoccurring themes/traits in your characters? Not particularly for my OC's, no? I mean I try to make them more three dimensional, and realistic. Not purely evil or not purely good. Having flaws as well as good characteristics.
How do you picture your characters? In my head? Sometimes I can form an image of them using an existing person as a template (character reference I think this is called?) But most of the time they are kind of generic.
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My Writing:
What’s your reason for writing? The reason for writing my fanfics is because of my deep love for Aldhelm and The Last Kingdom, and the overwhelming urge to tell my own story about him. It started out as a series of daydreams that kind of spilled out into a Word document and then it all went downhill from there lol!
Is there any specific comment or type of comment from readers that you find particularly motivating? Anything! Any comments are welcome, even the generic "I love your fic!" types. Although I really love the people that take the time to go into detail about a particular scene or chapter and tell me what exactly they loved about it. That really makes my day!
How do you want to be thought about by your readers? That I am passionate about the characters in the stories that I write.
What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer? I suppose character development.
Have you been told is your greatest strength as a writer is by others? Writing a story that is easy to read, has good sensory descriptions, and a compelling storyline.
How do you feel about your own writing? I think it could be better, but I am definitely seeing improvements since I first started almost two years ago.
If you were the last person on earth, would you still write? Yeah I would. Because I write for myself. I love seeing my stories work themselves out on the page.
When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, do you write purely for yourself, or is it a mix of both? A little of both? I mostly write for myself, but I also consider if someone wants to read it. I try to make it enjoyable and interesting.
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No pressure tags: @thelettersfromnoone @holy3cake @paula-in-dreamland @errruvande
@sihtricfedaraaahvicius @gemini-mama @foxyanon @grinningkatz @thenameswinter99
@alexagirlie @synintheraven @freddie-foxs @st-eve-barnes and whoever else wants to participate!
This took me FOREVER to do so I am not expecting that any of you will do this soon.
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BLANK TEMPLATE:
About me
When did you start writing?
Are there different genres or themes you enjoy reading other than the ones you write?
Is there an author you want to emulate, or are compared to often?
Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?
What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?
Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and/or places you write about?
Are there any reoccurring themes in your writing? If so, do they surprise you?
Characters
Would you please tell me about your current favorite character?
Which of your characters would you be friends with in real life?
Which characters would you dislike the most of you met them?
Tell me about the process of coming up with your characters?
Do you notice any reoccurring themes/traits in your characters?
How do you picture your characters?
My writing
What’s your reason for writing?
Is there any specific comment or type of comment from readers that you find particularly motivating?
How do you want to be thought about by your readers?
What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?
Have you been told is your greatest strength as a writer is by others?
How do you feel about your own writing?
If you were the last person on earth, would you still write?
When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, do you write purely for yourself, or is it a mix of both?
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hime-bee · 7 months ago
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(since i know you also have a mega breeding kink, here's some arknights men who i think would have breeding kinks large enough to fucking repopulate the entirety of terra,,)
silverash (wow how original) has such a massive breeding kink that it's not even funny. and he's entirely unashamed about it, huskily cooing at how lovely and adorable you'd be with your tummy all swollen, even when he's balls deep in you and pushing you well into your nth orgasm. each drag of his cock along your walls serves a purpose, acting as a way to remind you that he's the only one who'll ever be able to see you come undone, as well as the only one who can possibly knock you up. and with each load he fucks into you, soothing away your broken sobs from the overstimulation, he's getting pretty successful.
it wasn't młynar's intention to get hooked on the very risky thrill of knocking someone up, much less a woman much younger than him. but the way your cunt hungrily swallows up his dick aaallll the way down to the base and the loud moans you make when the tip keeps bullying its way against your cervix leaves him little room to deny the fact that he gets off on the risk. and, well, the fact that you keep trapping him in leglocks and forcing him to spill everything inside is also a factor. (also did you know that horse pp actually flares during mating to ensure the semen stays inside and the chances of the mare popping out a baby are increased?? hope that fact stays with you the next time you think of the honse uncle >:3c)
despite his well-disciplined and down-to-earth personality, even chong yue isn't immune to the thought of encasing your much smaller body underneath his and filling your pussy with his seed until it takes. plus, given his draconic roots, being endowed with two wonderfully sized lengths gives him all sorts of advantages, especially when you're babbling nonsense as he stretches you wider than you ever thought possible. doesn't really help that ling and nian are eager to become aunties, pestering their dearest brother and you at every opportunity they can get.
lee was nowhere near lowkey when it came to his breeding kink, and he's made it nothing short of becoming your problem. gifted with a lung's hemipenes and kept tucked safely within a cozy little vent, he takes every opportunity to fill you to the brim with the promise of making you into a mother. and of course, he played the 'senior citizen' card the first few times he refused to pull out, claiming that he's getting too old to remember (lies) or asking you to "go easy on this old man~" (lies 2x) but can you really blame him? it's not every day he gets lucky with someone as cute and eye-catching as you. plus, those kiddos of his certainly wouldn't mind another addition to their little group.
that charming smile of his did absolutely nothing to prepare you for the depravity that tequila hid behind it. having practically sweet-talked his way into your bed, tequila made short work of ensuring that you'd never look at another man but him. his need to knock you up stemmed from his canine instincts and his need to monopolize you, because all those stewing emotions he's kept buried certainly aren't doing his mentality any good. not that he'd care, especially when he's sunken his teeth into your shoulder as he unceremoniously pushes his knot into you with a lewd pop! and starts filling your pussy to the brim with plenty of his release until it finally takes.
(hope you enjoyed some lil thirsts for these goobers, bc i want all of them to mating press the shit outta me mostly młynar. i would've have added more but its like 4 am as im writing and im very eepy. but hopefully this made ur brain go brrrrrr ♡(੭´͈ ᐜ `͈)੭)
Lati, you didn't have to call me out like that-- 😭😭 You're 100% right tho, I really do and I'm so predictable LMAO
Which is prolly why most of the guys you listed, I've either written, or have a draft planned for 😭 (RIP to my Lee and Tequila fics that haven't seen the light of day smdh). ANYWAY. Continue to cook, chef!! 😩💦💦💦 I wonder what kinda situation the Doctor would have on their hands if more than two Operators were trying to breed em 🤔 Personally, I think they should take turns trying-
(Also, God bless you for providing me and my followers with these scrumptious little meals, it's so nice reading these from you, Lati 😭💞 Especially when all I can really do is read rn-) AND I WILL BE SAVING THESE TOO LOL
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felixravinstills · 5 months ago
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18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.
passage choice:
“For years, I thought about asking my father where he got the meat just to watch him crack. In the end, I decided it didn’t matter. It kept me alive, didn’t it? If I was starving with no there option, I’d do it again. I’d close my eyes and eat it. Savor the first full meal I’d had in months. It doesn’t matter what it was. It kept me alive.”
Why are you telling me this?”
His voice came out in a whisper.
Were girls always this confusing and terrifying? 
Well.
Now that he thought about it. Artemisia could be both those things.
“I’m tired of scrapes,” Persephone said, jostling him from his thoughts. 
25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story? (it doesn’t say i can specify but…request for artemisia mayhaps?)
ask game
Thanks for the ask, Lily! So fun to rant about Close Your Eyes again... it's almost been half a year since I started writing it... 4 months since I finished it...
18. Passage Question (See Above Excerpt From Ch. 2, Close Your Eyes)
I remember wanting to acknowledge Festus/Persephone in Close Your Eyes, because I do love them, and I hate when a character's more "canon" love interest gets kind of sidelined or vilified to prop up the fic's ship. Obviously, as she's not really central to the story, Persephone doesn't appear very often but I wanted to make sure it was clear when I wrote her that she had her own life that she was living.
The original draft had the interaction as much shorter, but the intention was always to have it be longer. Most of the changes was me finding my characterization of Persephone.
I've talked about my version of Persephone being more confident than yours, so this is kind of that shining through. I like writing strange, unnerving women (that might be obvious idk), and this is also that shining through. I was like "what if she's not ashamed? what if she's come to terms with it as just something she did? she did it to survive, why regret it?" I think in someways it's more unnerving for someone to act weirdly normal and well-adjusted about an incident that other people would normally be horrified by than to be tortured about it.
It's also kind of a sign of her kindness and trust in Festus that she's telling him this secret (because while she's not ashamed, it could damage her reputation) and also basically telling him as they are breaking up that he should just get over himself and admit that he's in love with his two best friends. The main thing we know about her is being kind, and I felt that should shine through even if she's in a very frustrating position.
Because of the situation, I also have her asserting herself and her boundaries. He's wasting her time if he's not committed to this relationship. She's going to find something more fulfilling. She's tired of scraps. <- me realizing I put scrapes instead scraps (whoops let me go edit that real quick).
This answer was mostly just explaining choices. The process, as with most of my writing, is brute force hitting a passage with editing until it makes sense with the rest of the story.
25. Weird, Hyper-Specific Detail (Artemisia)
Hmmm. Unsure if this is weird or hyper-specific, but it does never come up in the stories (directly)!
Artemisia is so resentful towards most of the Capitol because of her childhood. You'd think that even in Close Your Eyes that she'd be a pretty likely candidate for questioning the status quo and maybe turning rebel, but she doesn't do that (in that fic). The reason that Artemisia never contemplates becoming a rebel in Close Your Eyes (before Felix's death, although even after, she doesn't really rebel) is because Brandy kills Arachne.
I don't really focus on Artemisia and Arachne being friends, but I do think someone from the Districts killing Arachne definitely stops Artemisia from truly empathizing with them. That's why it it's kind of ironic (and important to me) that in All That You Can Do, Artemisia actually sees herself in Brandy, and that is what sparks Artemisia to rebel in that fic.
Close Your Eyes! Artemisia unfortunately was not immune to the Capitol's attempts at utilizing her friend's death to further the Capitol-District divide.
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lampmanliveblogs · 1 year ago
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I found myself writing on this instead of answering the asks in my inbox. This is just a first draft, but I dunno, I think it might be okay. I haven't read through it yet though, this is fresh stuff. What do you guys think, is this something?
xxXXxx
Untitled TOH fic-vee tells the gang
[TITLE]
Vee watched Luz and Camila disappearing into the light of the portal, of to save the Demon Realm from whatever evils Belos was bound to bring upon that world with his return. The portal closed shortly after they crossed the threshold. 
Vee could feel the scent of the spent magic lingering in the air. It was potent and powerful, but not unpleasant. The Titan’s own magic, such a primal, primordial force of nature that Vee doubted she’d be able to feed on it if she tried. It’d be like a human trying to eat and digest grass, if grass could also spontaneously explode. A bad idea.
The demon turned around to begin her walk back to civilization. A small smile played on her lips. Despite the difficulties they were bound to face in that realm, a realm Vee herself was not prepared to return to just yet, she couldn’t help but feel optimistic. If any two people could handle Belos and The collector, it’d be the Luz and Camila, the two coolest people Vee  knew.
Well… they were at the very least in the top three of the list Vee kept of cool people she knew (admittedly, a pretty short one). One person in particular was very high up on that list. A stranger she knew very well, a raven-haired goddess, a clueless fortune teller.
Vee felt her cheeks heat up, and she quickly shook her head to try and clear it. She could think about those feelings some other time. For now, she had to focus on getting mom’s car back ho-
Her eyes widened and she shoved her hands into her pocket. She had her phone and… that was it.
”Shoot!” she yelled at the sky. The moon looked down on her, it’s cold light coloring every shadow blue. ”Camila still has the car keys!”
Well. That was her good mood ruined. Grumbling curses under her breath, Vee made it back to the town square where the festivities were winding down. She threw the car a dirty look, like it was its fault that Camila had brought the keys with her like some kind of responsible adult. Now she’d have to walk all the way back home, get the spare, walk back here and drive the car home. Or maybe that could wait until tomorrow?
Whatever. She had a lot of time to think about what she’d do next.
She walked along the streets of Gravesfield. By now, most trick-or-treaters had trick.or-retreated back home with their bounty. A few jack ’o lanterns still spread some light onto the streets, alongside the streetlamps and other decorations. The buzz of the last few organizers cleaning up after the festivities at the town square disappeared fast behind buildings as Vee navigated around them.
Her nose was a good deal sharper than her ears though and if she took a few deep breaths she could still feel a few faint scents coming from there. She took some joy in doing that, trying to disentangle the smells in her mind, try to keep them alive for as long as possible.
In a somewhat ironic twist, because she was so focused on trying to discern those quickly fading smells, she missed the one in front of her. Once she did notice it, she stopped dead in her tracks.
”It’s you!” yelled a familiar voice.
It was Jacob Hopkins, the man from the Gravesfield Historical Society, standing there, only a few meters ahead of her. Before Vee had time to get out of her daze, he marched up to her.
”It really is you!” he said again. ”I’d recognize those evil eyes anywhere! You’re my demon!” He grabbed her wrist.
”I-I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said and struggled to free her hand. She saw his eyes go wide and realized her mistake. ”Let go of me!” she said, this time imitating Willow’s voice, but it was too late.
”Don’t bother trying to distort your voice, demon, I see right through your tricks,” Jacob spat. ”Where’s the poor woman you enchanted as your thrall? Did you eat her, you vile creature!?”
”No!” Vee cried. She felt hot tears threatening to flood her eyes. Her heart beat fast and heavy and her breathing was ragged. ”Let go of me!” she hissed at him, this time with a much more animalistic sound. In her mouth, sharp fangs replaced dull incisors and puny canines. On her hands, soft human nails extended into sharp claws.
”Hey!” a third voice joined the growing chaos, causing both basilisk and man to turn their heads. Despite the situation she found herself in, Vee couldn’t help but find herself feeling a little relieved. It was the rest of the Cabin 7 Crew fast approaching. 
Marco, dressed as a mummy, but with his distinctive bang still covering his eyes. It was a wonder he could see anything.
Samuel, dressed as a Frankensteiner, albeit a Frankensteiner with red hair and glasses.
And finally Masha, dressed as a witch, spearheading the trio, just as they did at summer camp as well. Always the first one to get them into trouble, and this time, the first one to arrive to help Vee out of trouble.
”What’s going on here?” they said. ”Let go of her, you pervert!”
”Wha-no!” Jacob exclaimed. He might’ve been some flavor of crazy, but even he realized how bad this must look to an outsider. ”You’ve got it around your back foot! It’s not what it looks like!”
”Really? Because what it looks like to me is that you’re trying to drag this poor girl off to do Goddess knows what!” Masha yelled back. Marco and Sam stood by their sides, ready to back them up should things get ugly (well, uglier). ”Let her go right now and we might not call the police.”
”I-it’s not like that at all!” Jacob said quickly, very keen not to get the police involved. He looked around, as if the fuzz were hiding behind the corners, ready to jump him. ”Listen, um… Sasha…? No, no, was it… Vasha? Whatever, it doesn’t matter.” He pulled on Vee’s wrist, making her stumble forward.
”This is no mere girl!” he exclaimed. ”This is a demon! She has come from another world and has been living among us humans for months! And now her allies, the witches have come too! They’re not here right now, they probably went back to their own world, but who knows when they’ll be back! You must help me contain this creature so we can warn the president! I’ll even let you collab with me on mewtube, once my account is restored!”
At some point, Vee realized that the best way to get out of this situation was to let Jacob keep talking. She retracted her claws and dulled her teeth.
Masha, Samuel, an Marco shared a few glances with each other. Vee knew them well enough to follow along.
”This guy is a loon,” said Marco’s gaze.
”I know you said he was a nutcase, but I didn’t realize it was this bad,” Samuel’s look said.
”Yeah, I knew it was bad, but not this bad,” Masha said with one stare.
Samuel stepped forward.
”You’re crazy,” he said simply. The he punched Jacob in the stomach. Hard.
Jacob made a funny sound as all the air in his lungs was forcibly evicted from his lungs. He fell to the ground, holding his tummy, letting go of Vee in the process.
”Come on, let’s get away from this creep,” Masha said, taking Vee’s hand. They gently coaxed Vee into following them, not that Vee needed a whole lot of convincing. They led her away from the gasping and writhing Javob while Marco and Samuel stayed behind for a while to make sure he didn’t try to follow.
”Hey, I don’t think I got your name before?” Masha said, in an obvious attempt to try and distract Vee from what had just happened. ”We met at the GHs yesterday, remember? I offered you a tour.”
”Y-yeah, I remember,” Vee said. Her heart was still beating fast, but sh was starting to get her breathing under control. Her fighting instincts had kept her hands steady, but now that the immediate threat of violence was gone, they started shaking a little. ”I’m Vee. And,uh… as much as I would like that tour, I think I just wanna go back home right now,” she said, an attempt at levity.
Masha nodded.
”I saw your friends at the Haunted Hayride, but I didn’t see you.”
”I was back at home with mom,” Vee said, so focused on trying to calm herself down that she let her mouth go on autopilot. It took her a moment to realize the slip-up. ”Or, uh, I mean.. aw geez, I misspoke, I didn’t mean to say-”
”Hey, hey, calm down, Masha interrupted the panicking basilisk. They led Vee to a car and opened the door to the front passenger seat. They made Vee sit down. ”Just take it easy. That creep didn’t hit you, did he?”
Vee shook her head. She massaged her wrist. She could feel where he had squeezed her, although the thing was was more annoying to Vee was that she could still feel the scent of him on her hand. Seeing as she had spent the first decade and a half of her life in chains, a little pain in the wrists she could handle. But she hated the smell of him and if she ever had to feel his stink on her again, it’d be too soon.
”No, I’m fine,” she said finally.
”You sure?” Masha said, somewhat skeptical.
”Yeah, I’m sure, I promise” Vee said. ”I was just a bit shocked. I mean, this was a lot, even for him.”
”Yeah…” Mashas aid, their thoughts trailing off. ”I mean, I knew the guy was unbalanced, but not that he was this unhinged…”
Marco and Samuel came walking back to the car.
”What a wimp,” Marco said succinctly. ”I think he’s still lying there.”
”Serves him right,” Samuel spat. ”He should be lucky to get off so lightly.”
”I tied his shoestrings together for good measure,” Marco said and hopped into the backseat of the car.
”And I threw his wallet and keys onto the nearest roof,” Samuel continued, following his friend. ”So that should keep him occupied for a while.” His face got a few degrees more serious. ”Should we call the police?”
”N-no,” Vee said quickly. ”I don’t think it’s necessary.”
At the time she didn’t know it, but she was right. In trying to get his wallet and keys back, Jacob would wake and nearly scare the life out of the poor souls living in the house. He ended up getting arrested for trespassing. It remains to see if he learned his lesson from that.
”Alright, if you say so,” Masha said. ”At the very least let me drive you home. Or do you have a ride?”
”I’d like that,” Vee said. ”I, ah… missed the ride home.”
The ride home was spent mostly in silence, broken mostly by Vee giving Masha instructions on where to turn. Marco and Samuel introduced themselves, unaware that Vee already knew them very well.
Vee had some time to think during the car ride. When Luz returned from the Demon Realm and reclaimed her life, Vee had stopped hanging out with her old cabin mates. With all the new friends in the house, Vee hadn’t realized just how much she missed them. Now that longing feeling was very palpable within her. she wanted to start hanging out with them again.But she couldn’t… or… maybe she could…
”There you go,” Masha said as they pulled into the driveway.
”Wait…” Marco said slowly and scratched his head. ”Isn’t this where Luz lives.
”Yeah, I live here too,” Vee said. I’m, uh… well, you see… it’s complicated, but, ah… Camila lets me live here.”
She saw Masha looking at her, clearly remembering the comment Vee had made before about her mom. They didn’t say anything.
Vee took a deep breath, gathering up all the courage she had. ”Grow a spine,” was the human saying. Vee was snake, she had plenty of spine.
”Why don’t you guys come inside?” she said quickly, not giving herself enough time to chicken out. She was going to commit to this now. ”I… would like to thank you all properly for helping me out!”
The three of them all checked their phones.
”It’s getting pretty late and we were supposed to sleep over at my parent’s place,” Masha said, hesitating. ”But I’m sure they’d let us sleep at Mrs. Noceda’s house, right?”
”It should be fine,” Samuel said, already typing a text for his parents.
”I don’t care,” Marco said and shrugged.
”Sounds like its decided!” Vee said, a little too chipper.  ”Come on!”
She lead them inside the mostly dark house.
She gestured towards the sofa.
”Sit down, sit down, I’ll go get snacks,” she said and hurried out into the kitchen. Her friends were left in the dust, looking around the cluttered living room. It looked like whirlwind had rampage through the room, throwing pieces of costumes all around. If the room hadn’t been so dark, they might’ve noticed some of the pictures on the walls showing off some things they were not supposed to know yet.
In the kitchen, Vee breathed heavily.
”Come on, you can do this,” she mumbled to herself while she fixed the snacks. ”You escaped the Emperor’s dungeons and evaded his scouts. You can tell your best friends a secret. It’s not that hard. They’ll still like you… yeah! Us weirdos stick together, that’s the Cabin 7 way!”
”Hey, Vee?” Masha’s voice interrupted the basilisk’s pep talk and nearly made her shed her skin at record speeds.
”Y-yes!” Vee almost yelled, and spun around in place.
”Is Luz home?” Masha asked. ”Cause we haven’t talked to her in ages…”
Masha’s usually confident eyes flickered won for a few seconds. You wouldn’t think a lack of something can feel like a stab, but it did to Vee. That sealed it in her mind. she was going to do this.
”Yes… or no. No, Luz is not home right now,” Vee said. She grabbed the snacks and led Masha back out to the living room. ”She and Camila are away, it… was avery sudden thing.”
”…okay?” Masha said, confusion on their face. Again, they shared a look with Marco and Samuel, both of them equally as confused by Vee’s cryptic words.
”I’ll explain, I swear,” Vee assured them, not that it did much to help ease their worried minds. ”but it’s a long story, so you might wanna sit down. She gestured towards the sofa again. Her Cabin 7 mates sat down, only hesitating a bit. Vee dumped the snacks on the coffee table and grabbed a chair for herself.
Vee felt around inside her second stomach. She had absorbed a fair bit of magic from Belos during the fight before. Amity and Willow had left plenty of abomination slime and enchanted plants behind. there should be a bunch of residual magic energy for her to scarf down. She could afford to show off a bit.
”Have you guys noticed something… off with Luz lately?” she asked. ”In the last tow months or so… almost like she became a different person over night.”
The three friends thought amongst themselves. Not that they needed to give it a whole lot of thought, because they had already talked about it with each other, more than once. Not only had Luz more or less ghosted them and started hanging out with a bunch of strangers from out of town (one of whom might be her girlfriend), her personality had completely shifted. The nervous but curious and kindhearted Luz they knew from camp was gone. Almost as if… almost as if she became a different person overnight.
Vee could see on their expressions that this was the general lines of thinking in the group.
”What I’m about to say next might sound insane, but I can guarantee you, it is the truth. All I’m asking is that you listen to me and… maybe don’t be too angry with me… okay?”
More glances where exchanged.
”Vee… what’s going on?” Samuel asked finally. ”Is…something wrong with Luz? What happened to her? And what does it have to do with you”?
Vee took a few quick, sharp breaths. She was about to go against every instinct in her basilisk brain, instincts ingrained into her very core by countless of generations before her. Here goes.
”The Luz you met at camp wasn't the real one,” she said, forcing herself not to talk to fast. She enunciated each word, making sure there wasnät any room for misinterpretation. ”It was me. I was disguised as her and took her place. It was an accident, I didn’t mean to, but… well, I think it worked out for the better for the both of us.”
”I… don’t get it.” Marco was the first one to speak. ”What do you mean you took Luz’ place?”
”I know it’s probably a bit hard to believe, I mean, me and Luz donät look or sound a lot alike,” Vee said. A small smile played on her lips. ”But how about now?” she said, speaking with the voice of Luz.
The Cabin 7 Crew sat still as rocks while their tired brains tried to process what was going on.
Vee giggled.
”S-sorry, but you look so funny,” she said, sounding exactly like Luz from camp. She stood up from her chair and spun around in place, transforming into a splitting image of Luz from camp. No, not a splitting image. The original image, because that was Luz from camp. ”How about now? Do you believe me now?”
Masha gripped the armrest of the sofa so hard their nails threatened to rip the fabric.
”Explain, they demanded. ”Right now.”
”Sure thing, though it’s a long story, which is why I brought snacks,” Vee said, this time with her regular voice. Titan, that must be so bizarre to the poor humans. ”There is a world beyond this one. A world of magic, and witches, and demons. Demons like me. I’m a basilisk.”
Masha raised their hand.
”No, you won’t die if you look at my true form,” Vee said.
Masha lowered their hand.
”That rumor started by witches because… well, you see, we basilisks eat magic, that’s how I can transform.” Vee paused and thought for a second. Her captive audience waited with bated breaths and eyes as big as dinner plates. ”You know what, this is probably not the right order to take things. Let’s start on that fateful day when Luz, the real Luz was waiting for the bus to take her to summer camp. As she stood waiting, she spotted a strange owl which she followed into an abandoned house in the woods…”
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aldbooks · 2 years ago
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IDK if you do random prompts but could you do one where Azriel challenges Lucien to a blood duel (Elain doesn't want it/doesn't know about it) and Lucien is like nah, why would I fight a blood duel for someone who doesn't talk to me and peaces out of the NC, etc and then Elain realizes she should've given Lucien a chance and maybe goes after him?
sorry, that was long and a giant mess but I love your one shots and I just had to ask!
Honestly I’d been wanting to write something like this. I have a very rough draft I never published in my cloud somewhere but in that one Lucien’s forced into it and basically everyone and their brother gets involved it’s very messy 😂
Truth be told, I've tried multiple times to write this prompt, and each draft inevitably began to spiral out of control. This is the first somewhat coherent one I've been able to manage
---
His distracted thoughts were the only thing Lucien could blame for not noticing what he was walking into. For not sensing her, for not smelling them together as he rounded the corner in the garden and found Elain and Azriel tucked behind a vine covered wall, hidden from view of the house. There was no pretending he didn't know what was going on with them any longer. It was far too late to turn around and walk in another direction, letting them continue on with their clandestine meetings, thinking he was none the wiser. Not when he was confronted with the scene before him now.
Elain, for her part, blushed crimson and tried to push away but Azriel did not release his hold on her as he turned a cold glare on Lucien for interrupting them. Judging by the redness around her lips and the tousled state of her curls, it didn't take much to determine just how ardent they'd been just a moment before.
The pain of seeing it for himself, rather than simply knowing it was happening, was much sharper than he expected but he kept his face passive as he awaited the inevitable confrontation. Turning away now would make him seem a coward and he refused to be that. 
"My lady," he said, nodding to his mate and then the Shadowsinger. "Azriel."
The male bristled at the use of his name rather than title. A bit juvenile perhaps but was he not allowed to be at least a little bit petty, given the situation?
"Enjoying the fine weather?" he asked, briefly eyeing the sunny skies of early summer that were now leaning towards evening. Elain clung to Azriel now, her face a mask of terror. Wether she expected him to attack her or him, Lucien wasn't sure but he had to swallow down a disgusted scoff at the insinuation that he would resort to violence at all, like some uncivilized brute. That might be how her lover preferred to handle things, but Lucien preferred a more- tactful approach.
"What are you doing here, Vanserra?" Azriel growled, pushing Elain behind him as though he too expected a fight. 
Lucien fought a flinch at the use of his surname as well as the urge to roll his eyes at such dramatics. He was furious, sure; humiliated, most definitely, but he was a courtier. He fought with words, not fists. The fact that even the much lauded Spymaster did not seem to realize this was almost laughable. 
"I was just delivering my latest report to Rhysand and Feyre. They invited me to stay for dinner. I thought to take a stroll through the gardens until then. I had not realized it was occupied," he said dryly as though he were unaffected by finding them here. 
"Yes," Azriel replied cooly. "I'm sure you did expect to find the gardens empty of their usual inhabitant." His tone clearly conveyed his skepticism that Lucien had not come out here specifically seeking his mate who was well known to spend most of her time toiling away in the flower beds. 
He did not point out that the gardens were certainly big enough for them both to avoid each other should they wish. He also did not point out that while he may have been too distracted to not note their location, so too had they. Though, Lucien was a bit surprised his shadows had not alerted him to his approach. He tried not to stare at them, though his mechanical eyes tracked their agitated movements. 
Then again, perhaps they had warned him and he'd simply chosen to do nothing. Perhaps he'd even wanted to get caught. He certainly seem to be all that surprised or embarrassed at having been found out.
Just for that reason, Lucien would not give him the satisfaction of rising to the bait. He smiled blandly. "Given the late hour, I thought it safe to assume everyone indoors. I know ladies prefer to avoid too much sun." At this, he flicked a glance at the freckles scattered along the bridge of Elain's nose that had not been there when he'd last seen her. 
"If you'll excuse me," he said, bowing his head slightly. "Since this particular path seems to be crowded, I'll choose another."
He turned his back on them, knowing it would piss the Shadowsinger off to be dismissed and had barely taken two steps when a low, menacing voice said- "release her."
Against his better judgment, Lucien paused and slowly turned back around, eying the male impassively. "I beg your pardon?"
"Release her," he repeated.
Lucien's eyes narrowed slightly. "You know perfectly well, Spymaster that it is not within my power to do so. If the lady does not wish to be bound to me, then she may reject the bond herself, as I'm sure she has been told by now. And in any event, I have made no claim on her, she is free to decide what she wants for herself."
"She doesn't want you," he growled. Behind him, Elain cowered, curling into herself, her face drained of color. 
"Do you presume to speak for her?" Lucien said cooly, holding the Shadowsinger's gaze in challenge. 
Azriel bristled, his massive wings rustling at his back. "She is-"
"Perfectly capable of speaking her own mind," Lucien countered before the other male could finish what was sure to be a spectacular display of male pride. Elain said nothing but he did notice that she'd backed away from Azriel a step or two which gave him some satisfaction. 
"She doesn't want you," he said again, his eyes growing colder with every word. "You know this, everyone knows this. She has never wanted you and never will want you. And you will never be good enough for her."
It was only years of practice in taking thinly veiled insults to his face that allowed Lucien to let this one slide over him and off his back without the slightest change in expression, but he still felt the words sliding over his skin in an oily drizzle that whispered the truth of them. 
"Then she can tell me so herself." His gaze slid to Elain once more. She had backed even further away from the other male, her eyes wide, but still she said nothing.
"I challenge you." The words were snarled out through bared teeth as the Shadowsinger's body seemed to vibrate with fury. 
Lucien stilled, his gaze flicking back to Azriel as something dark began to unfurl in his chest. Some long buried beast he'd almost forgotten about. "Excuse me?"
In a flash of shining metal, Lucien found himself staring down the blade of the famed Truthteller. Elain gasped loudly but Lucien did not even flinch. "I challenge you to a Blood Duel," Azriel said in a voice like death. "If you will not let her go, I will make you."
Lucien laughed. He could not help it, though the sound held no mirth whatsoever. This only seemed to make the Shadowsinger angrier. From the corner of his eye, he could see Elain glancing between them with a panicked expression. "No," he said simply.
Azriel blinked as though he had not been expecting the answer before thrusting his blade at him again. "You will accept. And you will be defeated."
Lucien laughed again, with a touch more amusement this time. "You really are arrogant, aren't you?" he said, casually brushing the notorious blade aside. "You assume that because I prefer not to fight with weapons that I do not know how to use them. Or perhaps, it is that because I chose to use my magic rarely, you think I have little of it? There is a reason my brothers thought me a threat to them. And you seem to have forgotten who trained me. I may not be an Illyrian warrior but I promise, you would not find that battle so easily won as you think."
"Then you are a coward to not accept."
He barked another laugh. "No. I am a smart male who would rather not waste his time, or deal with the fallout that would surely follow," he said disdainfully.
"I am not a barbarian. I will not hold an unwilling female to an agreement that does not exist. The bond was never accepted, she is well able to reject it and I will not force her decision either way. If she tells me she wishes me to go, then I will. I have no desire to fight to the death for a female who has no interest in me. That would be the height of folly."
Lucien flicked his gaze to Elain once more, finding her gaze locked on Azriel.
---
Elain watched in growing horror as Azriel persisted in his attempt to draw Lucien into a fight. That horror was coined by fear and disgust when Lucien revealed that this Blood Duel Azriel insisted upon was a fight to the death. It was utterly savage and she could only stare at the male she had thought of as so tender and kind, threatening to kill her mate over something she realized he had no control over. 
She could reject it. 
The thought swirled through her mind in a tangle of thoughts. Lucien spoke as if this knowledge should be known to her, but it was not. No one had ever told her it was even an option. She supposed it was because none of those around her could fathom rejecting one's mate. Never mind that her sisters had not exactly had easy starts with their own mates. She was quiet certain that at one point, Nesta would've been just as happy to see Cassian dead. 
Azriel did not seem to give much thought of concern to the notion of rejecting a mate. Odd, considering what she knew of the esteem the fae held for such rare bonds. Neither did Lucien, for that matter, if he was able to speak about it so blithely, as though it were a given that he would simply concede should she choose not to accept him.
And that seemed even odder still. 
From what she had been told, both of her sister's mates had been unrelenting in their pursuits, particularly when her sisters had been at the height of their resistance to the bond. And yet, Lucien had never displayed an ounce of the territorial aggression she had expected. A fact she was only just realizing as she watched him bat away Azriel's attempts to draw him into a fight. In fact, he continuously tried to pull her into the conversation that Azriel did not seem to deem fit for her participation. Never mind that she was the subject.
She could feel Lucien's gaze on her, but she could not peel her horrified gaze from Azriel as she began to see the layers of civility he wore like a mask, peeling away to reveal something truly terrifying. So this was the the Shadowsinger? The cruel Spymaster that everyone seemed to cower in fear of? She stared at him as though seeing him truly for the first time. She wasn't altogether sure she liked what she saw. 
"Accept," Azriel demanded, growing visibly agitated by Lucien's refusal to be the slightest bit intimidated by him. Bold, really, for someone with half of Azriel's years of experience and training. 
Lucien sighed, his lashes fluttering as though he wanted to roll his eyes. "First of all, only an Autumn Court male can issue a challenge, which you decidedly, are not."
"You are Beron's son-" Azriel started to argue. 
"And I have not claimed my father's house in over two hundred years," fire sparked in Lucien's eyes, seeming to give even Azriel pause. "As you're well aware. Not to mention that, personally, I find the entire practice archaic and primitive. "
Azriel did not miss the insult, neither did Elain as she watched the male's wings flare wide, heedless that she was only a few feet away. Luckily she had stepped far enough away to avoid getting hit. Silently, she agreed with Lucien's assesment of the situation. 
"Secondly," he continued. "Seeing as the Night Court long ago banned such duels, how do you imagine your High Lord would feel about your insistence upon, and participation in one?"
Gone was the flippant attitude Lucien had been sporting until this moment. He spoke the words with such coolness, the sharp edge of warning evident as he seemed to happen upon the one argument that finally gave Azriel pause. She could see it in the set in his jaw and the clenching of his fists. Rhysand would not like it. And Azriel hated to disappoint his brother. 
If Lucien was right, and the Night Court had banned duels over disputed females, Rhysand would have to punish Azriel if he persisted in this course. He would not have a choice, not if he wished to retain the integrity of his position. She could only imagine what kind of punishment such a transgression would demand. 
"Free her."
Elain tried not to sigh aloud at the relief that flooded her when he seemed to finally give up his quest. Still, she was growing tired of being spoken of as though she were not standing right here, incapable of speaking for herself.... just as Lucien had said. 
"I was not aware she was trapped- at least, not by me," Lucien replied drily, looking in her direction. "I have no wish for bloodshed, and I cannot imagine that you do either." He was still looking at her as he said this. Azriel did not so much as glance sideways at her.
"You don't even want her," he snarled.
Lucien shrugged. "Then you have nothing to worry about. If you're what she wants, then bless you both. I will not stand in her way. Nor will I be drawn into any foolish battles that will only cause more harm." He turned to Elain once more. "The choice is, and always has been, yours, my lady."
With that, he bowed to her, ignoring Azriel entirely as he turned back for the main house.
Stomach roiling, and mind fairly spinning as it scrabbled to process the events of the last few minutes, Elain watched him go, feeling a tug in her chest towards him that, for once, she was not entirely sure she wished to ignore.
Beside her, Azriel's shadows swirled around him as she stormed off, apparently having forgotten she was there and what they'd been doing not five minutes ago, and took to the skies. 
Elain felt power surge up within her, and the now familiar sensation of a vision taking over her senses. She surrendered to it. Before her, was a crossroads with paths leading in several directions. She turned slowly, examining each until she felt a pull towards one in particular and knew where it would lead.
For the first time since she'd been turned fae, and felt the bond snap into place, Elain realized that the choice she thought had been taken from her that day, had been there all along. Waiting.
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apocketfullofpoesis · 11 months ago
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Book review: The Silent Patient
[SPOILER ALERT ⚠️]
Rating: 2/5
Before y'all start coming at me, bear with me: I know for a fact that it was a debut novel so trust me when I say, I've been very considerate in giving this review :)
1. If I didn't know Alex was a screenwriter, I'd do away with my disappointment. I understand it was a debut novel. I am a writer too and I understand. I've read the debut works of a lot of authors WHO DID NOT HAVE A BACKGROUND in the field of writing like Alex. His writing style (at least in this work) is rushed, there's a feeling of emergency - maybe it was intended to set the tone of the story - but it merely came at me like he wanted to do away with the book, just finish it somehow. I wrote my debut book when I was 17 and it's been 2-2.5 years in my self-doubt and low-esteem that I still keep going back to keep editing and drafting it. So I'm being brutally honest when i say the second draft of my debut work >>>>>>>> the final draft of the silent patient. i thought I was being a bitch but trust me guys, I am being thoroughly honest. you'll see when my book comes out (hopefully before I die). The only good thing I learnt after reading this book is a new sense of confidence and leap of faith in my own writing style, especially being an Indian writer writing about an American setting.
2. Diving deeper into the narrative, which, according to me lacked depth. This semester, I studied about Longinus, the Graeco-Roman critic, who is known for his famous critical treatise, On the Sublime or Peri Hupsous - which basically advocates the importance of the quality of sublimity in a text that makes it special, elevating the readers out of their own self and transporting their imagination to unimaginable worlds. I could go into detail but luckily, someone has already explained it in a better way here . For me, the silent patient lacks sublimity and not just a bit, but in such an amount that it can't be avoided, it keeps poking at you until you give up the benefit of the doubt and accept the truth. There is no development whatsoever regarding the narration of the environment, the characters in depth, and also the one thing the writer must've focused on, he carelessly attended it as well: Ironically, the book is pivoted around the world of psychology and all things synonymous - or at least the writer has forced so - and even then, he did little to elaborate the internal reveries of the major characters, let alone the minor ones. The conversations were rushed, there was no description of contemplation before the characters arrived at a conclusion and so many more flaws that I can keep counting and my fingers would run short.
3. The writer introduced some characters, who provided absolutely no aid to the storyline or the development of the plot - if there was any. He could've either used them in a much more refined way or just shouldn't have even introduced them in the first place. Jean-Felix's existence is beyond me. Also, why did he tell Alicia that she trusts everyone around her so easily - what was the point of that? This statement piqued my interest in Jean-Felix and right after that the writer disappointed me yet again. Kathy's character was yet again wasted. I also don't understand the poor character development of Max. THIS GUY LITERALLY ASSAULTED HIS SIS-IN-LAW AND NEVER ONCE CAME TO SEE HER AT THE GROVE AND NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN HE'S EMOTIONAL TOWARDS THE END??? LIKE??? I felt like I skipped 20 odd chapters because clearly there's a lack of something so crucial for the sudden change of Max's heart. Or the writer went lazy with his character arc and wasted yet another foil.
4. Alex is part Cypriot and I respect that. I am a sucker for Greek mythologies and trust me when I read the word "Alcestis" for the first time in the book, I immediately became pumped up to finish it. Unfortunately that's all it was. A bait. I think, and no offense, that the writer kept boasting his love for Greek mythologies, throughout the pages. I had better expectations from Diomedes' character but yet again, I think he was wasted. Even though Theo wasn't Greek, he seemed to have a lot of knowledge and interest in it so I think if the writer intended to hint at his honour and love for the mythologies, he should've made Theo Greek/part-Greek? I feel like he could've mingled references of the Greek culture in a better way and not just occasionally hitting with one every now and then when you're engrossed in the story. Idk, this one's a personal reverie though (Please don't cancel me).
5. Coming to the story. I was into 100-150 pages when I got bored. I consulted it with my friends, who had extra hyped this book to me and because of whom I got hold of it. I told them how the noob writing style is really pissing me off and till then, no special development had ignited. But they told me that the climax is really worth it and so I kept reading. I was hopeful that I'll get something. But the climax was not at all original. If you've watched the Netflix series You, you could've already guessed the ending by the fourth part of the book and if you're a sucker for Joe Goldberg's ways, like me, your guess of the ending would've been much sooner and better than the real ending. I was hoping till last that the writer must've done something with Max or Jean-Felix or even Diomedes himself - wouldn't that be cathartic? But no. There's something royally wrong with Theo, granted, but if he was the culprit all along, the writer must've shaped his character in a better, more refined way. Not everyone can be Joe Goldberg. LIKE I DONT UNDERSTAND - HE KNEW IT WAS HIM ALL ALONG WHY TF WAS HE TREATING ALICIA LIKE FOR WHAT WAS HE HELL BENT ON HER FINALLY SPEAKING UP?? SOMEBODY EXPLAIN PLS.
In conclusion, the story was a whole lot of nothing and I gave two stars because the book cost me 160 bucks + i liked the reference of Alcestis. This is my personal opinion and I don't intend to offend anyone who has a different opinion than me, okay? Good kids x.
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enchantedpalia · 1 year ago
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Home disaster, but yay for community!
I'm not even sure where to begin, but it's best to begin at the beginning.
When I last wrote here I wrote about how autumn was setting in and there was decidedly a nip in the air. I also wrote a bit about the autumn storms. Well, a few days after my last entry, I ended up going to bed early one night because I was feeling a bit under the weather. I'd already been taking the draft Chayne had given me, and dosing myself on hot lemon and honey like Kenyatta had told me to do, but doing a bit less and resting, and sleeping early, was helping too. Anyway, that night, I was restless, because the winds were so loud, and I was huddled under my blankets just listening to the howling outside, when suddenly, I heard a creaking, in the distance. I imagined that's how a ship would sound in a storm out on the ocean, with the wood creaking and the hull groaning. As I listened, the creaking sound got louder and louder until something seemed to be coming towards me, towards the house. I got out of bed and just as I was reaching for the candle beside my bed, there was a tremendous crashing sound. I screamed in fright, and I couldn't see what was going on, but suddenly I felt the wind and rain on my face, and I looked up to see a great shadow yawing and coming towards me. I fled away from the bedroom, towards the living room, and huddled there on the sofa, shaking and crying. I feel a little silly now when I think of how shaken I was, but it was terrifying!
The next morning I could fully inspect the damage by the light of day, and neighbours and other villagers came up to bring me food, blankets, supplies, and anything they could think of. It was utterly shocking and terrifying to see a big hole in my roof right above my bed. The tree came to a stop very close to my bed, and I don't think I was in too much danger, since I heard it falling, but I was still in bed when it first crashed through. Everyone was talking about what a lucky escape I had. Ashura forced me to go to the inn right then and there, whilst everyone else assessed the damage. In the inn I went to bed right away, as I was apparently burning up with fever. I kept trying to get out of bed and tell people I wanted to go help my house set to rights again, but Ashura, Badruu, Chayne, Jon, Eshe, Hodari, and everyone else wouldn't hear of it.
It took weeks, and effort from everyone in the village, and beyond, from my neighbours and friends, and even from Hassian, who insisted on helping. I recovered, and went right back in to work, and help. Getting that roof fixed was a community effort, and if not for the amazing community in Kilima, I could have been in for a rough winter. But the roof was fixed, as good as new, and my room was restored to the way it was. The first evening at home with my brand new roof, there was another storm, and I felt a slight panic in my heart, but I just went to my study, lit the fire, curled up on the couch under my blanket, and read a book as the storm raged outside. That night I went to bed as I always did, and after some tossing and turning, I slept.
When you don't know where you're from, who you are, whose you are, or what you are even doing in the world, having the only thing that is wholly yours taken away from you is a terrifying thing. My house is my place of safety, and when that tree came crashing down and destroying my home, it took that away. It was a forcible reminder that life can happen at any time, and that even my safest refuge could feel less safe. But thanks to the love, friendship, and support of this community that has become as much home to me as my house is, my feelings of safety and security are as restored as the roof of my house. My hair may be scruffier and longer, but as you can see from my house behind me, it is in great shape.
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I'll be writing more, now that my life is back in order. I have so much to catch up with, but all in good time.
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beforeiread-studies · 1 year ago
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11.08.2023 || Did some introspection and realized that one of the reasons I kept procrastinating on my dissertation was that it was my goal to COMPLETELY FINISH WRITING IT by the end of August. Which would be doable if I put my heart and body into it, but also a ton of pressure. So I never wanted to actually start.
I had to write the first two chapters under a very strict time frame that had me research/write in full-on roll-out-of-bed-and-work-on-this-until-it's-time-to-sleep-again shifts, which was thrilling but exhausting.
But I am under no such pressure now! I technically have 3 months to complete writing this dissertation, not one, so I can take my time!! :)
The current strategy (which is currently working) is to write a little bit every afternoon. I have a precise outline to follow so I'll usually tick off a paragraph or two a day. Once I'm bored or tired I close everything and chill.
Also, I'm not forcing myself to write a perfect first draft like I had to with the first two chapters. This will be a messy first draft and it's ok. I'll just edit & properly add all the references and bibliography in September, as the deadlines for the various chapters approach.
And now I'm almost done with Chapter 3! Slow progress is slow is progress.
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theameba1436 · 2 days ago
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Wesley's Back Story.
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Alright, Not sure if I shared this before or not. But I wish to share it on my blog so I can find it because I couldn't find it there lol. But here is Wesley's back story in a rough draft and things might change as I write his story because ya know thats how writing goes haha Also timeline might be a little off in this rough wip but I tried with it. I just needed it down and out of my head.
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CWS: Abuse, locked up, torture, blood, snake venom, religious themes, cult like behavior, brainwashing, forced drugging, anger problems, and many more, please read with caution.
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The physical abuse and mental abuse from his mother, father and sister started to get to him at a young age. It started with him being a disappointment with him having a quirk when he turned around 5 years of age, they mostly left him a lone and focused on their other two children. Keeping him in the house and everything from food, clothing and even his learning was left to his sister and father. Witch mostly consist of him learning how suppress his quirk with meds they got from what looked like a cop from what he could remember. When the meds make his mutant type quirk less prominent and give him a more human look. The medicine and his families teachings stopped working when he was 12 years of age. Due to this they sent him to camps from the ages 12 to 14 to teach him how to behave in front of others, like he was some sort of animal to be viewed, this is where Wesley starts to feel numb to the world around him, Since they have him on so many meds and keep him to small groups of other kids like him to learn how to act like the perfect child.
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This worked for 3 years. Then once the brainwashing didn't work yet again, he was kept from the outside world, only letting him go to the house and keeping him in the meeting groups. This is when the physical abuse started up. Whenever he did something that displeased his parents, his parents would beat him into submission. Wesley wanted to fight back, just didn't know what to do about it, so he jut waited his time out, he got so good at faking it, when he turned 17 it was like second nature to him and he hated himself for the creature he has become. In this year his act stopped when he hit a growth spurt, becoming taller and gaining reactance to pain and his fang started producing venom. When his sister hit him one time once when she was picking on him, his temper was running thin and he ended up hitting back, and biting her thinking of hoping that his venom would at least kill her, no she just ended up in the hospital with a concussion after they got his record cleared up, he was stuffed back inside his small room until a few days before his 19th birthday. They started to train him again, teaching him more of the religious filth while they pumped his teeth for venom every day. Selling it for unknown reason's. Something about him needed to pay them money for having to take care of him and if he didn't they might as well kill him since he was useless other wise. When his birthday came up that year, that night he left his abusive home when his family rested at night and with a good bit of money from his families savings.
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That night started his day on the run, he ran for over a year, going from place to place always worried his family would find him and he just keep going until he was halfway across the country to a small city. He had enough money left to get a small apartment. he relaxed the first time that night and was sort of happy despite him going hungry for a few days while he looked for a job the would hire him, it took a good bit to find each job and yet he jut ended up having to quit them or getting fired for disturbing costumers with his appearance and his actions towards them. Due to this, three years passed and he had to start paying his apartment bills with his venom to his land lord just to keep staying in his apartment. His next job he had to wear a mask over his face and pin his ears under a hat and worked harder then anyone that worked with him. Just to have people walk over him, because he didn't speak to people and for the way he looked. He worked and lived like this for 7 years so fair. but - atleast he wasn't back with his family. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> (Hope this gives people a more clear view on who Wesley is as a person. I know his back story is a bit odd and kind of dark and it only will get worse as his story goes along. He is to help with my trauma after all.)
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skamversefan · 1 month ago
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there will never be a final draft.
writing this helped a lot, I hope reading it can help some people. or they start writing their own ones.
A Tribute to Liam Payne.
Dear Liam,
the first one to tell me about you passing away was my mother. It was around 6.30 in the morning. I had got up just half an hour earlier to do uni. At first I wouldn't believe her. Because why would you be dead? You're only 31 years old. I thought it was probably just the sun or another gossip magazine spreading rumors. She, after all, also believed those articles that said Harry and Olivia were dating. So I ask her what the source was and she only told me that she had send me an article. I still wouldn't believe her because she hasn't told me the source and i wouldn't look what article she had send to me. She only told me that it was all over the internet. I told her that 'the internet' is not really a reliable source. So I kept on going over my lectures until I had to get ready to take the bus to uni.
During that time I kept thinking about how maybe it's not a lie after all, maybe the new aren't just rumors.
When I turned my phone's airplane mode off, I finally received the article my mom had send me. I also got a bunch of other messages from my two best friends, directioners too, both of them. I ignored those at first. My only focus was that the article she had send me was a tagesschau article and i trust them most of the time.
So my first instinct was to check Instagram, see if anyone had posted anything. The first post is saw was from Charlie Ligthening. About your passing. That solified it for me. Because why would he post about it if it wasn't real. I then looked on your Instagram, to obviously see nothing. I closed Instagram, I didn't want to see any more. Then I check my friends messages, all about your passing too.
I didn't realise all of this, still haven't really if I think. Can't really grasp it all.
I didn't cry. I barly do that anyway. But I was sad and I felt some strange kind of emptiness, still do. During my entier way to uni I texted with one of my best friends. That helped a bit, I think.
I told them how honestly I'm not even too surprised, because we knew that you had a problem with drugs and alcohol and also that your mental health was as stable as a leaf in the wind. I told them I wouldn't be surprised if it was suicide, especially not after what happened lately. I do hope tho that it wasn't. I don't like the thought that your death was a conscious decision. But even if it was, I wouldn't really blame you. I think I can understand it. But if it was neither suicide nor an accident, then I'll have some new feeling to deal with, namely anger.
The whole day I would repeat 'He really is dead. He won't come back. It's not fiction.' in my head, to make it real.
It helped a bit, but not much.
I couldn't listen to any of my usual playlists. All of them would contain something that would remind me of what happened and I wanted to forget. I think I was in denial and still am.
I ended up listening to my favorite childhood artists. I had wanted to do that for months anyway, just that now i was forced to, because not listening to anything would certainly not help either.
Going through social media in the evening was a lot. Everyone had posted something about your death. It was everywhere. I tried to keep my time on there very limited. Your passing was also on the news and seeing it on TV hit different. I can't remember them ever reporting about anything related to you boys. But that evening they did. And it was definitely not in the way I always wanted them too.
At least they chose a good picture of you. Not one of those promo ones where you didn't smile, a nice one.
The following night I dreamed of you. I can't remember much, but you were there. The next morning I woke up to the boys having posted about you. I almost wish they hadn't because it made everything more real. When I read Louis' caption I did cry. I feel most connected to him and i think reading those words from him did something with me. But in fact now I feel the urge to cry every time I see something about Liam. No matter if it's am edit, a tweet or another person wishing their condolences.
I think my brain is still in denial. I'll randomly get this thought about how we'll get the news that you aren't dead after all, that is was just a mistake, a misunderstanding. But it wasn't. And you are.
I hate to break it to you, but you never where my favorite. I never felt the same connection I had with Louis, Harry and Niall with you. But I still liked you and appreciate what you did in the band. Like Louis said, you were a vital part and the band wouldn't I have been what it was without you. I cherished all those moments you had with the others one stage. When you had waterfights with Louis. The video diaries.
I also never liked your solo music as much. But what I loved was how you interacted with your fans.
When I first go into 1d your livestreams were the first real content I had gotten from my of you. It was 2020, so covid and I loved your steams. Always fun. Always lifted the mood. It's sad that I couldn't watch the one you did with Niall, but I still watched plenty of the others. One could also always see how genuinely happy you were meeting your friends. Even if your eyes looked rather empty because of everything else happening. You never deserve all the hate. Did you deserve to be called out for the shit you did? Sure. But you never deserved all the hate, no one does.
I don't know if I will every really grasp everything. That you being dead, means your gone for good. That you won't come back. That we won't get any content from you anymore. That we won't see you again anymore. That one direction is dead for good. Even if the others decide to ever come back it now definitely won't be the same. Now we probably will get the reunion we never wanted at you funeral.
You will be loved forever. You'll be missed greatly. The world will never be the same, not without you in it.
Yours,
the person who may wasn't your biggest fan but still loved you dearly and misses you a lot
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instituteled-a · 3 years ago
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@heyerald | cont.
      "Iᴛ ᴡɪʟʟ be, eventually." Not quite dismissive; while he still very much stands with the position that Jon needs to make most experiences for himself, grow into the role carved out for him and doing quite well so far, almost better than expected in some ways (even if, naturally, it might not look that way for the Archivist himself, but that's because the grand picture is still closed to him. Not for that much longer and he'll come to understand, come to know why this all was necessary, come to see), there lays the conclusion that maybe some things need to be explained. Some smaller things to help set everything else into place. Not too much as to not misdirect where things are going, of course; there are some things that one can only prepare towards in a wrong way, actually diminishing any chances of success.
      Of course, that concept had not taken well with Jon, so, a compromise then.
      "You've still got a lot ahead, of course. Still have to grow into your own power. But you already know more than you should, you admitted as much. You, too, are tethered to the Eye and feed as it gets fed; and it doesn't just take away from you." A pause then. Careful words, just enough. "A thousand eyes, and all of them connected. Eventually you won't need just your own to see anymore."
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jcwriting · 4 years ago
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Written in the Stars
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summary ↬ being soulmates with a werewolf? pretty easy. being jungkook’s soulmate? the easiest thing in the world. there’s only one teensy tiny problem. he doesn’t want to fuck you.
pairing ↬ werewolf!jungkook x reader
genre ↬ soulmate!au, abo verse, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort (this is so fucking dramatic and for what)
word count ↬ 10.4k my hand slipped
warnings ↬ swearing, angst (but with a happy ending bc im a sappy bitch), jk is stupid in love (emphasis on stupid), mentions of violence (very brief and i don’t go into too much detail but just to warn yall), slight nsfw (sex is a big topic for like half of this but not sex is had...i know im shocked too), half of this is background info/setting up the story the other half is finally addressing the summary lolol, jk is kind of an asshole but he has reasons!!!!!
authors note ↬ hello lovelies! here’s a small little thing for you all (laughs in 10k word count). this has been sitting in my drafts for fucking ever and i just needed to get it out there and out of my hands. im thinking about writing a part two where the actual ~*/sex/*~ is had but im still on the fence about that. please let me know what you think! i literally crave your interactions so pls dont be shy,,,,,okay love you bye :)
(ps i was so close to naming this Rewrite the Stars but since this has absolutely nothing to do with The Greatest Showman i didn’t. but i was close,,,,so fucking close)
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You always knew Jeon Jungkook was destined for great things.
It was written in the stars, your mother had told you after he had first stepped foot into your family-owned grocery store. Your mother didn’t have any special powers, she just had a thing for astrology. While you normally shrugged off her random proclamations about divine intervention and planetary alignments, you found that Jungkook was something you couldn’t ignore or chalk up as your mother’s latest tea leaf reading.
From the moment you set eyes on him you knew he was different. While your family held zero claim to any sort of mystical or magical inclinations, you were well aware of those who did. It was no secret that non-humans roamed the Earth in plain sight, even though it had taken humans eons to realize this. After years of savage wars and civil unrest, agreements had come into place and governing bodies were adjusted to accept the changes that had finally been made. But, this was all before your time. You were the generation that was born into the period of peace, the first children to not experience bloodshed before they could walk. The world you knew now was almost a complete one-eighty of what it had been.
Where before those who were not of human blood had to do everything they could to blend in, now could be free of the shadows. Your classrooms had both humans and non-humans in their rosters. Some of your teachers were hybrids. Curriculum expanded to teach humans about a world that had once been entirely unknown to them. One of your favorite teachers was a witch who regaled your tenth grade class with stories of goblin wars, wizard duels, and vampire covens. All tales that you had once thought were nothing but fiction were now anything but.
Which is why, the second Jeon Jungkook entered the grocery store that your parents owned and that you had worked at since you were old enough to speak in full sentences, you knew who he was. You didn’t even question it.
He was a werewolf. A powerful one. You could see it in the way he carried himself. The purposeful strides he took down the narrow aisles, the confidence in his broad shoulders. Humans weren’t nearly as sensitive as their hybrid counterparts but you also paid attention in your classes. Or, perhaps you were more aware than other humans. Never in your life did you have the issues other faced when meeting a non-human for the first time. You always knew who they were without them having to tell you. You just knew.
So, when Jeon Jungkook stepped up to your register with a bottle of water and some raw beef, you didn’t flinch. Didn’t bend under his dark gaze or shuffle your feet in an awkward attempt to break the silence. Instead, you flashed him your customer service smile and rang up his items. He didn’t say a word as he paid, barely sparing you a second glance as he strode out of the store.
“He’s going to be a great and powerful man,” your mother said in that feathery light voice of hers. “It was written in the stars.”
You couldn’t help but agree.
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Jeon Jungkook came into your store everyday for the next month. He bought the same thing every time. A bottle of water and a package of raw beef. The only time he spared you any words was to say thank you or the occasional hello if the sun was shining. Usually, he was alone. Sometimes, he came with a few members of his pack. You liked those days. He smiled a little brighter and talked a little louder when they were around. Especially around Taehyung.
Then, after a month, he didn’t come in. Not for an entire week. From Monday to Sunday, you hadn’t seen a hide nor hair of him. A part of you was worried, so worried that you almost stopped Taehyung in the middle of the street to ask of Jungkook’s whereabouts before realizing how insane that made you look, the other part was chastising yourself for caring. Jeon Jungkook was a customer. Nothing more, nothing less.
The following Monday had come and you had finally stopped glancing at the sliding doors every five minutes. You no longer expected his commanding presence to rock your little world. Instead, you continued your day as if it had been any other. That was, until, Jeon Jungkook stepped through the entrance looking as if he was walking on air. It didn’t take a genius to figure out why.
“Did you have a good heat?” You asked when he stepped up to your register. Jungkook fumbled the water bottle he had been setting onto the conveyer belt before turning to stare at you.
“What did you just say?”
You didn’t shrink under his intense glare. “I was asking if you enjoyed your heat. Seems like you did.”
“How do you know I was in my rut?”
“Oh, is rut the correct terminology? Sorry, they always interchanged them in class, I was never sure what was appropriate.” You shrugged and rang up his items. “It was kind of obvious, though. You seemed pretty agitated about a week-and-a-half ago, then you disappear for a week, and now you’re back looking happier than ever. If it wasn’t your rut then I want to know where you went on vacation because that’s where I’m heading to next.”
Jungkook laughed. That almost made you jump out of your skin. You had never heard him laugh before. It was throaty, it was deep, and it was wonderful. “I’ll be sure to send you the link to the Airbnb.”
“And how do you plan on doing that?”
He smirked. “I’m here every day, aren’t I?”
You tilted your head as you accepted the cash he handed to you. “Clearly, you’re not that reliable.”
Jungkook laughed again. It was becoming your new favorite sound. “My apologies. I didn’t mean to appear flaky.”
“You’re forgiven,” you decided as you handed him the plastic bag of his purchases. Teasingly, you added, “just make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
He flashed you a smile that showed off his sharpened canines. “Don’t worry, darling. I never make the same mistake twice.”
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Jeon Jungkook kept his promise. He showed up everyday, like clockwork. Bought the same thing. Arrived at the same time. The only thing that changed was how he treated you. It wasn’t that he treated you badly before, he had always been polite. But now, he talked to you. He asked you questions and answered yours. More often than not, he laughed.
(It had become your favorite sound.)
For three months, this continued. The two of you had settled into a comfortable routine, something you relied on and expected. Until, he changed that.
Until, Jeon Jungkook asked you out on a date.
“What did you just say?”
“Are you free? Tonight?” You glanced around, almost expecting to see some sort of supermodel posing behind you to explain the absolute absurdity of the situation. “What are you doing?”
“Looking for the hidden cameras. I think I’m getting Punk’d.”
Jungkook sighed and placed both hands on the counter that separated the two of you. “Look at me.” You did. Slowly and warily, but you did. “Does it look like I’m lying to you?”
Narrowing your eyes, you regarded him carefully. He seemed serious. But, then again, do you ever really know someone? “I don’t know. I’ve never actually seen you lie before so I wouldn’t know the difference.”
“Fine. Ask me what color my shirt is.”
“What color is your shirt?”
“White,” he deadpanned. You glanced down at his chest. His shirt was black.
“Jungkook!”
He threw his head back and released a full bellied laugh. Even in your exasperation you couldn’t help but soften a little. “I’m sorry, darling. I couldn’t help myself.” Annoyed, you huffed and spun to face the cash register. Stabbing your finger onto the touchscreen, you ignored Jungkook’s obvious presence on the opposite side of the counter. Until his hand reached around the card reader and grasped a hold of your chin. The warmth of his fingers forced your head to turn to meet his.
“Come to dinner with me.” His voice was nothing but a rumble in his chest, his eyes so black and all-consuming you couldn’t do anything but agree with him. He seemed pleased by your response as his fingers tightened against your skin and a grateful smile flicked past his lips. His gaze darted down to your mouth and your breath froze in your chest.
“Are you going to kiss me?”
Jungkook raised an eyebrow. “Do you want me to?”
“No.” You tried to shake your head but his grip didn’t allow you much movement. He was taken aback by your answer, a small frown tugging at his mouth. You quickly backtracked to fix the situation. “I don’t want our first kiss to be in a grocery store. That’s a new low that I refuse to reach.”
Jungkook chuckled and tapped your chin gently. “Alright, darling. I’ll pick you up at seven.”
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Again, he kept his promise to you. He showed up at your parents house exactly at seven, wearing a button-down shirt and slacks. The tulips he had gotten for you was thrust into your hands the moment you opened the door. Flashing him a genuine smile, you hurried into the kitchen to set them in water while your mother grilled him on his birth time. You were quick to drag him away, practically throwing him towards the car as you waved goodbye.
“Sorry,” you sighed as Jungkook opened the passenger door for you. “She has a…thing for astrology. She’s probably creating your star map or whatever right now.”
“It’s okay,” he responded once he got into the drivers seat. “It’s sweet of her to care.”
You snorted. “She’s delusional is what she is.”
“So, you’re saying you don’t believe in astrology?”
“Do you?”
Jungkook shrugged as he pulled out of your dirt driveway. He looked so damn attractive behind the wheel it was honestly unfair. “Not really saying I do or don’t. All I know is that there are a lot of things out there that are out of our control. If believing in the stars and planets helps you gain some of that control back, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.”
“God, don’t talk like that in front of my mother. She’ll want to start dating you.”
He grinned and placed a hand on your knee. “Tell her I’m already taken.”
You didn’t get a chance to respond to that. Not that he didn’t give you one, it was just that you literally had nothing to say. With just one sentence he opened the floodgates of your brain and the amount of thoughts that were flying through your conscious was painful. Anxiety fluttered in your stomach and you pressed your lips together to keep you from word vomiting onto him. No, it was better to keep your mouth shut and let the moment pass.
By the time you reached the restaurant you were a trembling mess of nerves. Were you guys dating? You thought this was just a ‘testing the waters’ date, not a ‘you’re my girlfriend now’ date. Did you have to make it Facebook official? You hated that shit.
Jungkook didn’t comment on your obvious distress, though. He merely placed a hand on the small of your back, ignoring how you jerked in surprise, and led you into the quiet bistro. Nodding politely to the hostess who was practically panting at the sight of him (you honestly couldn’t blame her) and pulled out your chair for you. When he sat down, he started talking. Idle chat at first. Commenting on one of the dishes, asking about the college classes you were taking at your local university. Before you realized it, wine was in your glass and your shoulders were loose. Previous nerves forgotten, you lost yourself in Jungkook. You drank, you ate, you laughed, and genuinely enjoyed his company. Honestly, it was the best date you’d ever been on.
“I have to be honest with you,” Jungkook spoke after he finished his raw steak. “I have an ulterior motive for asking you here tonight.”
“Oh,” you mumbled around the shrimp you had just tossed in your mouth. “So…this isn’t a date?”
“No, it is,” Jungkook clarified quickly around a dry chuckle. He seemed…nervous. It put you on edge immediately. “This is definitely a date. And, also, more.”
“More? What, is this a proposal too?” You were joking. A 100% joking. But Jungkook was staring at you so seriously it made you panic. “Jungkook, if you get down on one knee here I swear-”
“I’m not proposing,” he assured you. “This is something more than that.”
“More?” You parroted. Jungkook sighed.
“Do you know what a true mate is?”
Right there, in that quaint little bistro, on a date with quite possibly the most untouchable man you’d ever met, he explained how you were irrevocably his. His true mate, his soulmate.
Jungkook explained everything in great detail, which you appreciated, because honestly, you had no words. He explained how when he was born, the witch who cared for him told his father that his future glared brightly ahead of him, but only when he met his other half. True mates were rare. Mating was common, the wolves in his pack could have multiple mates or a lifelong one, but true mates were destiny. Someone or something out there had forged the two of you together. You were essentially each others other half. He was made for you and you were made for him.
��But…aren’t true mates only for wolves? I thought it’s impossible for a human to be a true mate,” you asked in a shaky voice once Jungkook took a breath.
“It was supposed to be impossible. Until, I met you.” Jungkook stared at you with a sort of reverence that made your entire body blush. “I have no idea how you are. I’ve spent hours researching. I’ve consulted with members of my pack and others. No one knows why.”
“Are you sure, though? I mean…what if you’re wrong?”
“I’m not.” Jungkook shook his head. “I visited the witch right after I met you. She took one look at me and told me that I had finally found my true mate. She said she’d never seen a future so bright before.”
You had no words for that. For the first time in your life, you were speechless. Jungkook seemed to understand. He let you sit in silence as he paid for the bill and walked you out to the car. The drive back to your parents house was the same. You couldn’t speak. The shock rendered you stupid.
By the time Jungkook pulled into the driveway you still hadn’t spoken a word to each other. You stepped out of the car before he could open the door for you. Walking up to the porch steps in a trance, you didn’t hear him follow you until he clasped your wrist in his hand. Turning to face him, you were surprised to see his brown eyes so big. They practically sparkled in the moonlight and he looked so soft and sweet you nearly melted into the wood beneath your feet.
“Please,” he whispered. “Can you…just - are you okay? You’ve been so quiet. I’m worried I’ve scared you off or something.”
With that voice, it was impossible to deny him. So, you said the first thing that popped in your head. “Do we have to make it Facebook official?”
Jungkook stared at you before bursting into laughter. “Really? That’s all you have to say?”
You blushed and glanced down. “I’m just worried, that’s all. I can’t remember my Facebook password so even if you wanted to change it I don’t think it’ll work.”
“So that’s why you never accepted my friend request,” Jungkook teased. Before you could squeak out a response, he wrapped his arms around your waist and tugged you forward. You kept your arms crossed across your chest but let yourself fall against him.
“Don’t make fun of me,” you whined as you buried your face into his shoulder. He smelled so good, a mixture of pine and spice. “My brain hasn’t worked since you told me I’m yours, so bear with me.”
Jungkook chuckled and gently swayed you from side to side. “Does that mean you’re okay with this? All of this?”
Sighing, you lifted your head up and stepped away from him. Jungkook was not impressed and pulled you back to him. Your heart swelled in your chest and you wrapped your arms around his neck in consolation. “Honestly? I haven’t really processed anything. You’ve had your whole life to come to terms with this. I just found out thirty minutes ago that I’m someone’s soulmate. It’s a lot to take in.”
Jungkook nodded as he tapped his fingers against your hips. “I know. It’s a lot…I’m a lot. I just want you to know that you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to be with me. I won’t-”
Now it was your turn to burst into laughter. You couldn’t believe those words had left his mouth. It was easily the most absurd thing you’d ever heard. “Jungkook, I want to make something very clear. I have no problem being your true mate. That’s not the issue here. Well, there really isn’t an issue. It’s just…hard to believe, I guess. I have to process that this is my new reality.”
“Really?” Jungkook perked up and looked so fucking cute you couldn’t help but cup his cheeks. His skin was so warm despite the cold autumn air that surrounded you both. “You want to do this? Be with me? Be mine?” All you could do was nod. You were so overwhelmed with emotions. The shock was evident, but a piece of you was so happy. You felt whole.
Jungkook’s face split into a wide smile that caused his nose to scrunch up. He wrapped his arms around your waist and spun you around. Squealing, you slung your legs around his hips and held on. Normally, you’d rather die than show this much affection to someone. But, this was Jungkook. Your soulmate.
“So…what do we do now?” You asked once Jungkook set you down. “Is there, like, a ceremony or something?”
“I have no idea,” he admitted as he stared down at you. He had a hand against your jaw and was rubbing your cheek tenderly. “I really didn’t think I’d get this far.”
You scoffed at his ridiculousness. While recognizing you were Jungkook’s true mate was going to take some time, believing that he thought you’d deny him was utter nonsense. “What if…what if we date, first?” You suggested timidly. “I know that sounds kind of weird considering we’re supposed to be the loves of each others lives. But, I don’t really know you all that well. And, I think this is going to take sometime for me to get used to. Maybe we should date, get to know each other, and just learn how to be with one another.”
“Whatever you want,” Jungkook agreed. “We can do whatever you want. Just as long as I have you, I’m happy.”
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Two years passed.
Two blissful, wonderful years. Two years of dating, two years of loving, two years of being Jeon Jungkook’s. It was everything you could’ve asked for and more. You had never felt so loved and cherished in your entire life. He respected you, he took care of you, and most importantly, he was there for you in every sense. Since the moment you met him, you hadn’t been alone. He hadn’t let you. Jungkook knew you better than you knew yourself.
And, it was the same for him. You were there for him when he transitioned into the leader of his pack. You were there when he took over the CEO position from his father and encouraged and supported him every step of the way. You let yourself be loved and in return he let you love him. It was wonderful.
Except, for one tiny thing.
While the emotional aspect of your relationship flourished and bloomed into something beautiful, the physical side remained stagnant. Make out sessions and heavy petting were a norm in your relationship. At first, it didn’t bother you. In fact, you loved that Jungkook was taking things so slow and so seriously. But, eventually, your needs began to grow. You found yourself wanting him in more ways than one, wants that only he could satisfy. Jungkook refused. Every time.
It wasn’t like he refused your every need. No, Jungkook was extremely attentive. When it came to himself, that’s when things got dicy. He had no problem spending hours between your legs, worshipping you until you were crying from the overstimulation. Yet, he wouldn’t let you anywhere near him. Not without lack of trying on your part. The minute your hands went down to his waistband, he pushed you away. Every time you tried to dip your mouth to the obvious bulge in his pants, he lifted you up and kissed you breathless until you forgot your name. It wasn’t until after a year of dating that he finally let you grind on his clothed cock. Even then, he held off until you finished and then walked out with quite possibly the worst case of blue balls. You hated that he did this to himself. The worst part was, you couldn’t understand why.
The one time you had brought it up to him it had resulted in the worst fight the two of you had ever gotten into. It was the only argument that was never really resolved. After the yelling and the tears, all you got out of Jungkook was that mating with a wolf was not pretty. It was extremely dangerous and he refused to put you in that kind of danger. End of discussion. No matter how hard you tried to persuade him or broach the subject, he shut it down. Hard. Eventually, you gave up.
He even spent his ruts away from you. Every three months, he left you for a week. You knew he had a place somewhere up in the mountains and you assumed that’s where he went. You had no idea. There was no point even asking to come along. You loved your boyfriend and didn’t want to purposely give him a heart attack. You hated it when he left. As much as you tried to hide it and convince him that you were just fine, he wasn’t stupid. Being away from him was tough. A piece of you was missing whenever he was gone. And you were only whole again when he returned.
This past week had been one of those weeks. He had left on Sunday for the mountains. He was agitated and clingy, how he normally was pre-rut. Jungkook wouldn’t let you leave his side and you spent most of the weekend on his lap or wrapped in his arms. Not that you minded. When he left your parents house on Sunday night, you’d had to coax him out of the door. Promising him that you’d be okay and that you’d see him next week. It wasn’t until several kisses later did Jungkook finally leave.
While you’d been doing this for two years, it never got easier. More manageable? Sure. But definitely not easier. All you could do was go through the motions. You went to work at the local bakery, came home and helped your mom with dinner, watched TV with your dad before going to bed. Taehyung and Jimin would visit often, threatened by Jungkook to keep you company. While you assured them it wasn’t necessary, you secretly didn’t mind. They made you laugh and made you temporarily forget your boyfriend was miles away from you. Sometimes, if you were lucky, he’d call you to tell you goodnight. But those times were rare. Normally, you didn’t hear from him until Friday or Saturday when he was finally coming out of his rut and returning to the world.
By the time Sunday rolled around, you were a jittery ball of nerves. Not in a bad sense. You were just excited. The anticipation killed you and it took all of your willpower to sit and wait for his text to tell you to come over. Your parents always left you alone on these Sundays, unable to deal with your hyperactiveness and constant fidgeting.
This Sunday was no different. You puttered around your room for the better part of the day. You spent the other part in the kitchen, baking like your life depended on it. Jungkook loved your cookies and you always made sure to come over with at least three batches after his ruts. He always said that was his second favorite part about coming home, after seeing you, of course.
You had just finished packaging the final batch in a glass cookie jar when your phone dinged. You didn’t have to read the message, you knew exactly what it said. Pure joy rushed through your system as you threw on your coat and shouted a hasty goodbye to your parents. Juggling the cookies and car keys, you sprinted to your car. The drive to Jungkook’s was thankfully not long. About ten minutes, as long as you didn’t hit any traffic on the main road. Luck was on your side, though, and you showed up at Jungkook’s house in eight minutes.
Taehyung’s car was in the driveway when you pulled up, which wasn’t odd. Although Jungkook owned the house, the members of his pack were almost always around. While most preferred to travel in their wolf forms, you knew Taehyung and Namjoon preferred cars. Something about being able to listen to their own music without comments from the peanut gallery. You didn’t really understand and didn’t really need to. You had just chalked it up as one of their many quirks.
Carrying the trays of cookies in both hands, you shut your car door with your foot before speed-walking up the stone walkway to Jungkook’s home. The screen door was shut, but the wooden door was swung wide open. You had just reached for the metal handle when you heard it.
A deep, threatening growl ripped through the peaceful quiet and froze you in place. You knew it was Jungkook. While you had only heard it once, you’d never forgotten it. It was when the two of you had attended a party and an alpha from a neighboring pack had cornered you in the hallway. Jungkook had found you cowered against the wall as the other alpha had caged you in. The sound that had left his chest had given you equal parts comfort and fear. Comfort, because he was there and you knew you were safe. Fear, because you could see in the way he bared his teeth and how his muscles vibrated, he had been furious and bloodthirsty.
That’s what you felt now, fear.
Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong.
From your vantage point in front of the screen door, you could see directly into the kitchen. Taehyung was leaning against the granite countertop and Jungkook was seated at the island. The tension was so thick you practically choked on it.
“Enough, Taehyung.”
“No,” Taehyung snapped, seeming just as angry as Jungkook. “I’m not dropping it. Not this time.”
“Yes, you will,” Jungkook snarled. “I’m not having this conversation with you.”
“Too fucking bad.” While Taehyung was also an alpha, he acted so much like a beta you never really noticed. Until now. “I’m not going to sit by and watch you do this to yourself anymore. Not spending your ruts correctly is only causing you more harm than good.”
“I’m doing things the way I want to, and it’s working-”
“The hell it is!” Jungkook growled at the interruption but Taehyung ignored him. “It’s not working, and you know it. Anyone with two fucking eyes knows it. It’s getting so bad that the pack is noticing, too. Even Namjoon has realized something is wrong, and he’s as oblivious as they come.”
“If they have a problem with me they can take it up with me.”
“No, they can’t. Because you won’t listen. Your head is so far up your ass you can’t even hear yourself anymore. What you’re doing right now is not working. Something needs to change.”
“Like what?” Jungkook spat.
“You know what,” Taehyung bit back. Jungkook was practically vibrating from rage. You knew you needed to go get someone, someone from the pack to calm the two of them down. Things were only escalating, but you couldn’t move. Your brain screamed at you to run but your legs were rooted in place. “That’s is what’s so frustrating, Jungkook. This, all of this, could be solved. She’s right there-”
“Don’t.” Jungkook stood up so fast the chair he sat on flew backwards and hit the wall with a resounding crack.
“Why?” Taehyung threw his arms up in the air. “Why not? I don’t get it-”
“Because I don’t want her!” Jungkook yelled, the force of it rang throughout the house. You had no idea who the she was that they were referring to. You assumed it was someone from the pack. It was well-known that wolves with human mates sometimes turned to other she-wolves to help with their ruts. You figured that’s what Jungkook did whenever he went away for a week. It had bothered you at first, but you knew he had his needs and that they were at a biological level. You refused to make him feel guilty or ashamed for taking care of himself.
“You don’t want her?” Taehyung was enraged. You could tell by the way he straightened his spine and unfurled himself to his full height. Jungkook bristled in response and the muscles in his back strained against the thin material of his shirt.
“No, I don’t!” Jungkook exploded. “What don’t you understand about that? I don’t want her around me. I don’t need her, I’m fine on my own. The thought of having her there when…God - it makes me physically ill.”
“She’s your girlfriend. Above all of that, your true mate. You’re seriously going to deny yourself of her, for what? Just because you don’t like having her around?”
Oh.
That’s when it hit you. They weren’t talking about some random she-wolf. They were talking about you. You were the one Jungkook didn’t want. You were the one Jungkook didn’t need. You were the one he didn’t like having around. As the weight of the words sunk into your mind, you felt your chest becoming tighter and tighter.
Then, you’re heart broke right in half. You dropped the container of cookies and didn’t flinch when it shattered against the wooden slats. The sound unstuck your feet from their position on the porch and your fight or flight system took over. Without a second thought, you turned on your heel and ran.
You didn’t know if anyone was behind you, you didn’t turn around to check. Hands fumbled for the car door as you threw yourself into the drivers side. Pain ricocheted throughout your chest cavity and you struggled to breathe. Your brain was blank, the only thing your mind did was move your body to get you somewhere safe. You had to leave and you had to leave now.
Miraculously, your fingers found your keys and inserted them into the ignition on the second try. A flutter of movement occurred to the left of you but your eyes didn’t let you look that way. Instead, they focused on the rearview mirror as you reversed out of the driveway. Your right hand found the gearshift and moved it to drive. Soon, you were tearing down the street as your ears refused to register the agonized howls that echoed behind as you kept staring forward. Adrenaline pumped through your system and your body shivered in response, the splash of hormones had created a blanket of fake calm over you. The emotions, the pain, the thoughts were swirling inside of you, ready to break free and drown you, but your brain wouldn’t allow it.
It wasn’t until you reached the end of your long driveway that you felt the original spike of adrenaline fade away. Your mother was in the front, tending to the flowers, and looked up when she saw your car fly into its usual spot. She stood up and her face twisted into a frown when you got out of your seat.
“Honey, your aura…it’s concerning.” The blanket was yanked away and the pain crashed over you.
You couldn’t say a word, all you could do was collapse in your mother's arms and cry, cry, cry.
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It took you two days to calm down. The tears had stopped rolling and your shoulders no longer shook from trying to hold your sobs behind your teeth. Your mother hadn’t left your side, leaving your father to answer the door whenever someone knocked. The only person who did was Taehyung and Jimin. Jungkook never showed up.
Well, that was a lie.
Jungkook did show up every morning and night, without fail. But he never came to your doorstep.  Instead, he was in the woods behind your house, patrolling, not daring to leave the protection of the forest. A part of you wondered if he was respecting your obvious need for space or if your mother had paid a witch to set up boundary lines that didn’t allow him to cross. Either way, you were grateful that you couldn’t see him. There was an incessant tugging in your heart to be near him but you staunchly ignored it, which would’ve been impossible if you saw his achingly beautiful face.
I don’t want her. I don’t need her. Having her there makes me physically ill. Those three sentences played in a constant loop in your head, like a horror movie you couldn’t escape from. You were the protagonist who couldn’t escape the maze, but the villain wasn’t kind enough to kill you off. No matter what you did, your brain wouldn’t stop repeating those three sentences. Your mother burned sage, she pressed crystals into your palms, she muttered ritual after ritual, but nothing worked.
You hated how affected you were. You had always told yourself that you would never be the girl who’d get so wrapped up in someone else they didn’t know who they were anymore. Independence was something you prided yourself on, but you seemed to be at a complete loss now. You couldn’t stop the waves of sadness and self-hatred at your depressed state. It was amazing how empty you felt yet so full of pain at the same time. Your mind and heart couldn’t seem to decide which hurt worse; your heart for having your soulmate so obviously reject you, or your brain for trying to make sense of the situation. When did this happen? How did this happen? How had you been so blind as to not see it?
“I don’t think we’re soulmates,” you rasped to your mom on the third morning. It had been the first words you had spoken to her since you had fell into her arms. She looked up from the bundle of herbs she was smoking.
“Why do you say that?”
You stared at your hands that had curled in on themselves. “I don’t make him happy. I-I never realized how uncomfortable I made him. I wish I had known. How did I miss it?”
Your mother tutted gently and gathered you in her arms. She smelled of lavender and wax. “This is good. I’m glad you’re letting yourself have this moment. Let’s sit in this and allow yourself to be embedded here.” But you didn’t want to have this moment. You didn’t want to have any moment and you’ve felt enough to last a lifetime. Instead, you rolled over, let sleep overtake you and tried to ignore the distant howling that rattled your window pane.
By nightfall of the fourth day, you were forced out of bed. Partly by choice, partly by force. Your parents had dipped out to run to the grocery store, despite your mother’s insistence that she could stay. You and your father managed to convince her to leave and you had gotten up to wave them goodbye. Sure, your heart was broken, but the least you could do was kiss them on the cheek before they left. You had turned around to shuffle into the kitchen to try and shovel something down your dry throat when a loud knock sounded at the front door. Hesitating, you carefully peeked through the kitchen window and saw Jimin on your front doorstep, dressed in all black.
Sighing, you stumbled over and pulled the door open. You figured you couldn’t avoid them for much longer. “Hey, Jimin.”
“Christ, you look like shit.”
You huffed out a laugh as Jimin stared at you in horror, not having the energy to be offended. You also knew, in a weird way, that this was Jimin’s way of caring for you. “Yeah. My mother’s covered all the mirrors in the house.”
Jimin nodded as he glanced at you from head to toe. “I want to ask if you’re okay but…” He gestured to your gaunt frame swaddled in a heavy sweatshirt and sweatpants. For the first time in two years, they were your own clothes, not Jungkook’s.
“I’m fine, Jimin,” you heaved a heavy sigh and leaned against the doorframe. “Do you want to come in? I think my mom boiled some tea not too long ago.”
Jimin shook his head. “Can’t. Jungkook would have a fit if I got that close to you right now. I’m already pushing my luck just by showing up.” He doesn’t care, you thought bitterly, and almost said it out loud but you caught yourself at the last second. Jimin wasn’t stupid, though. He knew what you were thinking. “Hey,” he murmured, eyes going soft, “are you ready to talk about it?”
“No.” You shook your head. A wave of sadness washed over you but the telltale prick of tears didn’t come.
Jimin understood. He tucked his hands into his pockets as he rocked back onto his heels. “Are you going to talk to him?”
Letting out a heavy breath, you crossed your arms over your chest. “I know I have to. I just…I just need time.”
“Take however long you need.”
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It was another 48-hours before you finally snapped. While you had spent the majority of the two days that had passed to make yourself resemble a human being, you couldn’t focus. You couldn’t move on. Why?
Because Jungkook wouldn’t leave you alone.
His presence was constant. He circled your house every hour of ever day, the large shadow of him in wolf form darkened the trees behind your house. The howling had stopped but the pacing hadn’t. You hoped he was at least sleeping, but then you got annoyed at yourself for caring. You didn’t know why he was out there, it made no sense. Jungkook’s words were so different from his actions it made your head spin.
But, you needed to move on with your life. You had to. The only way it was going to happen was if Jungkook did too. It hurt. God, did it hurt. Yet, as sad and utterly pathetic as it sounded, you were used to the pain at this point, had resigned yourself to it. A part of you worried you wouldn’t know what to do without it.
Shaking off that depressing thought, you tugged on your rain boots and stepped outside for the first time in a week. The air was heavy with the promise of rain, the clouds low and gray. You tugged the hood up on your sweater to prevent your hair from completely frizzing out before you walked to down the back deck steps.
The backyard of your parents house was expansive. The home you had grown up in sat on top of a sloping hill that your mother had turned into her personal greenhouse. You stepped past rows of raised garden beds and pruned plants until you reached the line where the neatly mowed grass met the twisted ferns of the forest floor. As you had suspected, the ground was scorched with the evidence of past rituals. While your mother hadn’t out right admitted, you had figured someone had come and created a boundary line. It was obviously specific to Jungkook since Jimin and Taehyung were still able to visit. While your mother’s methods were extreme, you understood. As difficult as it was to move on with your life with Jungkook sequestered to the forest, you couldn’t imagine what it would’ve been like if he was within a few feet of you.
With a deep inhale, you sat down on the damp grass and waited. After a few minutes, you could hear the faint sounds of paws hitting the wet earth. The galloping got louder and louder until there was a momentary stretch of silence before it changed to footsteps.
When Jungkook emerged from the trees, you weren’t prepared. Although you knew you wouldn’t be, you still weren’t expecting it to hurt this bad. Your chest squeezed painfully at the first look of his broad form. Technically, it had been two weeks since you two had truly seen each other, the longest you’d ever gone. What hurt the most was how badly you longed for him. You wanted nothing more than to run straight into his arms, bury your face into his chest, and forget everything. Just forgive and give your heart what it wanted. But you remained firmly in place.
Jungkook looked as if he had seen a ghost. Which, to be fair, was probably true since you hadn’t seen the sun in seven days. His normally golden skin was pale and even from where you sat you could see the dark circles bruising under his eyes. Clearly, he hadn’t been sleeping. You hated that you noticed. You hated that you cared. He was dressed in all black and his chest strained against the material of his sweater. His hands were balled into tight fists at his side and the sight reminded you of why you were here.
“Hi.” Probably wasn’t the best start but it was the best you could do. Jungkook didn’t respond so you soldiered on. “I-I know you don’t want to be here, so I’ll make this quick. I just…wanted to apologize. I had no idea I made you so uncomfortable. I’m not sure how long you’ve felt this way about me, not that it really matters, but I wish you had told me sooner. Maybe things would’ve been easier for you, who knows.” You released a heavy sigh and tried to shove down the stone in your throat as you forced the next words out of your mouth. “But, all of that doesn’t matter anymore. I think I understand what you need, now. I know you loved me at one point, but I’m obviously not what you need anymore. And…t-that’s okay - I swear it is. All I want is for you to be happy, Jungkook. And I think, in order for that to happen, I need to move on. We both need to move on-”
“Stop it,” Jungkook broke in with a harsh voice that cut your sentence in half. “Stop talking.”
It felt like he had slapped you in the face. A wave of humiliation washed over you and you visibly flinched. Staggering to your feet, you locked your gaze onto your boots in an attempt to hide the tears that dripped down your nose. “I’m sorry,” you whispered, not expecting it to change anything. You began to turn away but Jungkook stopped you in your tracks, again.
“Wait, no - stop. Stop. Please…don’t go,” he pleaded. When you turned around, his eyes were frantic. Jungkook’s hand was raised from his side as if he thought about reaching out to you but something stopped him. His words were at war with one another and you were caught in the middle, at a loss for what he was trying so desperately to convey to you.
“Jungkook, I’m so confused.”
“I know. I’m sorry. God, I’m sorry.” Jungkook tucked his head into his hands before dropping down into a squat. “This is all wrong. This is all so wrong.”
You knew you should walk away. You had said your piece, it was time to move on, just as you had said. Yet, you couldn’t. It was as if your heart was tethered to him and your body couldn’t handle the pain of walking away. “Listen-”
“I don’t know what to do.” He cut you off but the bubbles of anger that had risen from being interrupted popped once you saw how lost he looked. His tattooed fingers threaded through his hair, allowing you to see the pure anguish that twisted his features. “Whenever I feel like this, I come to you. Because you always know what to do. Any situation, no matter what, you can handle it. It’s something I’ve always admired about you.”
The way he spoke to you now, so reverently and so full of awe, made your head spin. Nothing made sense.  It was such a blatant contrast to the brutality that he had spat out a week ago. As much as you wanted to believe what he said now, those stupid words could not get out of your head. It was a constant reminder that never shut up.
“I don’t know what to do either,” you admitted in a quiet voice.
“Tell me,” Jungkook begged, as if he couldn’t and refused to comprehend what you had just told him. “Tell me what to do, and I’ll do it. Whatever you want from me, I’ll give you.”
You were shaking your head before he could finish. “There’s nothing you can do, Jungkook. Nothing.”
“Don’t say that.” He stared at you, horrified. “Don’t say that to me. Please, there has to be something.”
“What could there be?” You cried. Tears streamed down your cheeks now. “You said it yourself, being near me makes you sick. Why would I stay? Why would you want me to? I refuse to make you uncomfortable anymore - so that’s that.”
“It isn’t,” Jungkook argued back. “It can’t be. I-I can’t lose you, I can’t. I need to make this right, please just let me. Please.”
But, you were tired. You were so fucking tired. You were exhausted of the emotional rollercoaster that you were on that you just wanted to crawl away and hide. All the fight seeped out of you as your shoulders slumped forward. Jungkook saw this and the blood drained from his face. You were giving up, he could see it, and it scared the shit out of him.
“Jungkook, I need to go, okay? I-I can’t do this.”
“No!” Jungkook shouted and shot up to his feet. The pure panic that choked his voice brought on a fresh set of tears that you struggled to hold back. “Just let me explain, okay? I swear to God, after you hear what I have to say, if you still want me to, I’ll let you go. I won’t fight you on it. But, please let me tell you the truth. Give me a chance to make this right. You deserve that.”
You hesitated for a moment. Deep down, you knew you should let him talk. Not because you necessarily thought he deserved to, but because he was right. You did deserve the truth, no matter how much it broke your heart. With a heavy sigh and a quick swipe of your cheeks, you nodded. Once Jungkook was sure you weren’t going to leave, he began pacing. Looking every bit like the wild animal you knew him to be but never got to see.
“Mating with a werewolf is…brutal. It’s intense, it’s painful and it isn’t pretty. It’s essentially a breeding session where I use you as a vessel to fulfill my innate biological needs. It’s not romantic, it’s not gentle. Even for she-wolves it can be too much. The thought of subjecting you to something like that - that type of pain…I couldn’t fathom it. I don’t think you understand just how precious you are to me. The image of you being battered and bruised because of me, something I did…it tormented me, day and night.” He paused for a moment, the pained look in his eyes made you shiver. You hated that he had gone through all of this turmoil on his own, and you especially hated how you never made more of an effort to try and relieve him of it.
“I couldn’t do it. That’s partially the reason I waited so long to tell you that you were my true mate. I knew ruts were something I would never expose you to even though it’s such a huge part of my life, a wolf’s life.” Jungkook looked you straight in the eye, the intensity of his dark gaze took your breath away. “I know the practices other wolves partake in when their own heats or ruts arrive. I know you know them too. But, I need you to understand something. The moment you allowed me to be yours and vice versa, I haven’t had anyone else since. I swear on my life, I’ve spent every single one of my ruts alone. I wouldn’t and I won’t do that to you.”
“Isn’t that painful, though?” Your voice cracked but neither one of you acknowledged it. While your knowledge on ruts were expansive, having done plenty of research since being with Jungkook, you had obviously never experienced one.
“It’s manageable. It’s way more painful for a she-wolf to go through her heat alone than it is for a male.” Jungkook clenched and unclenched his fists as he resumed his pacing. “The worst part is being away from you. I’ve been going through ruts since puberty, I can handle them. But not being able to be with you for a whole week…I hated it. Still do. I dread that three month mark. And as time went on, I became more and more miserable. Being apart from you was almost unbearable but the other option…I never even allowed myself to consider it.
“It came to the point where the pack was noticing. I wasn’t getting the proper pheromonal release from my ruts and it was beginning to affect those around me. Taehyung has been on my ass for months now to get over myself and take you with me during my next rut. Each time I’d give him some excuse, but it was getting harder and harder to justify what I was doing. At first, I was convinced it was because I was protecting you. But you’ve been so understanding and so patient with me and my life, those excuses were becoming useless. Eventually, I think it was because I was protecting myself. I was - am - so scared. I’m terrified that I could hurt you when I’m like that. That I wouldn’t be able to notice or worse, ignored, if something happened to you. Living with that type of fear became debilitating. So, I just kept my mouth shut and kept you away from that part of me.”
Jungkook shook his head and chuckled humorlessly. “Now I know that was the worst possible thing I could do. That I was just hurting you more. What you walked into last Sunday was a culmination of my frustrations that I was refusing to deal with. While it’s not a valid reason, I’m well aware of that, I need you to know that what you heard was not the truth. It couldn’t be further from it. Because the truth is that I’m hopelessly in love with you and the thought of being without you hurts worse than I ever thought was possible.”
It wasn’t the first nor would it be the last time that Jungkook left you speechless. It took you a full minute to process what he had said. Jungkook granted you the silence although he became increasingly more agitated as time passed. His boots scuffed the dead leaves that littered the ground and his pacing led him closer to the ashes that lay before your feet. Then, he’d suddenly stalk off with a growl as he was forced to keep away.
“I-” you cleared your throat around the lump that had found a home there. “I had no idea. This whole time…I thought it was because you didn’t want me.”
“God, no.” Jungkook swore heavily as his muscles bunched and coiled beneath his clothes. “The - the fact that…you - fuck. I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. That’s not it, that’s not it at all. You’re my dream girl, you’re the love of my life, and I want you every second of every day.”
Maybe it’s because you were emotionally drained and had no mental strength left. Maybe, you needed to hear those words from Jungkook more than you realized. Whatever the reason was, it wasn’t worth trying to figure out an explanation as you sunk to the ground and burst into tears.
Jungkook lost it across from you. Broken whines stained the air as he carded through his hair anxiously. He kept trying to get to you, to try to soothe you. But the boundary was unfortunately doing its job and each attempt was met with failure. Curses were spat out until eventually, he got as close as the boundary would let him and fell to his knees. He began spewing whatever came to mind first, unsure of what to do. All he knew was that you were crying because of him and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. He thought hearing you cry from your bedroom window was torture, but nothing could compare to hearing you break down in front of him. Nothing. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m sorry…please, I’m so sorry. I - don’t cry, darling. Please don’t. I’m so sorry I hurt you, I didn’t mean to, I swear.”
It wasn’t tears of heartbreak that leaked from your eyes. Instead, it was tears of relief. While your heart had wholly accepted his words as the truth, the logical part of you reminded yourself that the two of you had way more talking to do. This was far from over, but the relief of knowing that he loved you and he was yours…it was indescribable.
You finally lifted your head up and were shocked to find Jungkook’s cheeks glistening with moisture. Your only thought was to comfort him as you scrambled forward to do just that. Instead of feeling his smooth skin against the palm of your hand, you were blocked by what felt like a wall although nothing stood in your way. Frowning, you realized with a start that the boundary worked both ways. Jungkook let out a frustrated growl as he glared at the ashes that was stopping both of you from getting what you wanted. It was silent for a few moments until an idea popped into your head.
“Wait here,” you announced before jumping up and taking off for the house. Ignoring Jungkook’s distressed cry, you ran inside. You yanked your car keys off from their designated hook and quickly typed out a text to your parents to let them know where you were going before spinning around and sprinting back outside. Jungkook was where you left him, although he stumbled to his feet when he saw you reappear.
“I’m going to your house,” you announced, breathless. “No witch is stupid enough to go that far into werewolf territory. If you want to talk to me there, then follow me.”
Jungkook stared at you for a heartbeat until the words you spoke clicked. “Y-yeah. Yes. Okay. I’ll be there.”
With a curt nod, you ran to your car. For the first time in a week, a faint sprout of hope bloomed in your chest.
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It was the longest and shortest ten minutes of your life. The drive to Jungkook’s seemed to last a lifetime but also was over within a blink of an eye. The tears had stopped flowing by the time you pulled your car into his driveway, but you felt the telltale prick in your eyes when you saw him burst from the trees. Your heart ached as his long legs ate up the distance between you two as you wrestled with your seatbelt and threw the car into park. By the time you freed yourself, he was at the hood of your car.
The two of you stared at each other for a few breathless moments. You weren’t sure who moved first, but it didn’t matter as you crashed into each other’s arms. The moment his searing warmth enveloped you, you dissolved into another puddle of sobs. The feeling of his thick arms banded across your back, his torso molded to yours, and his hair tickling your ear, felt so right. Another wave of crippling relief washed over you and you practically melted against Jungkook. But he held you up, just like he always had.
He leaned against the front bumper while his hands were everywhere. Cradling your head into his neck, smoothing over your hips, or running circles over your shoulders. He was crying, you could feel the tears dampening your hair. But you were soaking his shirt so no one was in any position to complain.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered.
“Don’t,” Jungkook hissed fiercely as he squeezed you tighter. “Don’t apologize. This isn’t your fault, not in the slightest.”
“Kook,” you sighed and pulled your head back to get a good look at him. “It takes two to tango.”
“Not this time,” he argued. “You’ve put up with so much. You’re everything I could’ve asked for and more. It was my own fears that got in the way and created this mess. And I’m so sorry for that, darling. I’m so fucking sorry.”
You shushed him gently, running your thumbs over his cheeks to swipe at the dried tears. “I know you’re sorry. I believe you.”
Jungkook dipped his head further into your touch with a pleased rumble vibrating through his chest. He kissed your palm gently, sniffing at your wrist. It made you giggle. “Missed that,” Jungkook mumbled as he stared at you with stars in his eyes. “Missed you. Missed you so much.”
A fresh wave of tears cascaded down your cheeks. You were positive that you looked like a mess, hair in a knotted bun, face red and puffy and you kept sniffling every two seconds. But Jungkook looked at you as if you held the world in your hands. “Missed you too,” you murmured in return. “Please, next time, just talk to me. I may not have the answers you’re looking for all the time, but I’ll always be here to listen.”
“I know,” Jungkook whispered. “There won’t be a next time, promise. If I happen to be stupid enough to put us in this position again, I give you full permission to punch me in the face.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” You lifted yourself onto your toes to brush your lips against his, dropping back down to your feet when his head chased after yours. “Or maybe I just won’t kiss you for a week.”
Jungkook’s eyes widened comically and he actually looked terrified. “I’d rather you just punched me in the face.” You tilted your head back and laughed. Jungkook tugged you closer and nosed your throat before peppering gentle kisses along the exposed skin. Sighing happily, you tilted your head to allow him better access and rested your cheek on his shoulder.
“I love you,” you said quietly. Jungkook froze for a split second before he sank against you. Squeaking in shock, you scrambled to brace yourself against the sudden weight pressing you towards the house.
“Say it again,” Jungkook pleaded. You couldn’t deny him. Dusting feather light kisses to the shell of his ear, you repeated those three words again, and again, and again. Each time you did, Jungkook held you a little tighter and cried a little harder.
Eventually, you’re murmured promises became softer and softer until the two of you just enjoyed each others presence. “C’mon,” you finally whispered as you started to lift yourself off of him. Jungkook growled and refused to let you move an inch farther. “Kook, come on. Let’s go inside. Your ass must be numb by now.”
“Don’t care,” he grumbled but he at least shuffled forward a bit more so that your combined weight wasn’t squashing his ass against your car.
“You might say that now, but you won’t be saying that later.”
Jungkook grunted at your logic but he at least raised his head and looked at you with the sweetest eyes. “Please tell me you’re staying.”
Giggling, you asked, “do you want me to?”
“Obviously,” he scoffed. “I want you here forever.” Jungkook tilted his head thoughtfully. “Actually, you should just move in with me.”
Christ, this boy was going to give you whiplash. You couldn’t help but laugh. “Jungkook, we just made up. The whole reason we were in this mess is because of poor communication. Don’t you think we should work on that first before anything else?”
“But…we could work on communication all the time if we’re together 24/7.” Despite his pout, you knew he wasn’t totally serious. Although you were sure it was going to come up again.
“Alright, you maniac,” you said fondly. “Take me to bed.” Jungkook’s chest rumbled happily as he lifted you up and wrapped your legs around his trim waist.
It wasn’t a long walk to his bedroom, but the exhaustion of the past week caught up to you and the gentle rocking of his steps lulled you into a serene state. Not quite asleep, but not quite awake either. You were aware when Jungkook placed you on his bed, practically engulfed in his scent. The last thing you remember before falling asleep was the words Jungkook pressed into your hair has he slid in behind you.
“Love you forever, my darling girl.”
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©jcwritings Do not repost, translate, or use my stories without my permission.
LINKS:
masterlist
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TAGLIST:
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cipheress-to-k-pop · 4 years ago
Note
Hello!! sorry to bother you could write a ben 10 x reader? (the reader is kidnapped by vilgax and ben has to save her, after that ben and the reader has an argument) please, i love your fics!!
Storm Before The Calm
Pairing: Pre-Established; Ben Tennyson x Reader
Warnings: None
Word Count: 3.4k words
A/N: I changed up the request a bit (I figured it shouldn't matter which villain was used here) also I was planning to have this as sort of a damsel in distress situation but after having a chat with some boys pigs I decided a self indulgant badass reader was right up my alley
Additional A/N: I have a math exam on Thursday and I cannot focus for the life of me. So, I decided to finish up one of my drafts. Now hopefully I'll be able to work like a robot for the next week, after satisfying my creative side. Also, this fic was super self indulgant.
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"I trust Ben.” You did. With your entire being.
Kevin chuckled from beside you, “Yeah, try saying that without cracking the fillings in your teeth and maybe we’ll believe you.”
His words caused you to relax, only then realizing how hard your jaw was clenched in fury. Gwen sighed in disappointment and for a second you wanted to defend her cousin and your boyfriend. Until you realized that he deserved every bit of unbridled anger coming to him.
“I trust him. Doesn’t mean I’m not mad at him.”
Your hands were balled into tight fists and even though you wanted to take your eyes off the television screen and take a warm bath, you also for some reason couldn’t stop yourself from watching it.
Like you were afraid something would happen when your eyes were off the screen for even a second. Maybe you didn’t trust him.
But honestly how could you, you were currently watching your boyfriend relax in a hot tub with Jennifer Nocturne and the sight was enough to send bile up your throat.
Ben wasn’t returning any of her advances, but he wasn’t stopping her either. And the thought made you sick to your stomach. You knew Ben was faithful and you knew he would never cheat on you but watching how the Hollywood starlet continued to hang off him sent waves of jealousy through you.
Not to mention anger at the fact that he wasn’t doing anything to stop her. When he got back, you were going to wring his neck.
Trusting him was getting harder with Gwen constantly insisting that you dump him.
Honestly, you wondered how that girl even kept a relationship.
When Ben eventually came home, all the entertainment channels were still talking about the two of them and the well-known picture of Jennifer Nocturne kissing him was circulating about. Each time you looked at that image, you wanted to shoot an arrow at the TV.
As time went by, your anger slowly fizzled out. You were unable to maintain your rage at Ben, quickly getting a headache and feeling tired of trying to maintain negative emotions. Even then, you couldn't push down the uneasy feeling in your heart that seized your stomach.
You kept expecting a text message from Ben, an apology call but as the night proceeded you understood that he was having way too much fun with another woman to even think about how you must be feeling.
The thought of that made you want to go back home and crawl underneath the covers, hiding away from the rest of the world.
But Gwen was persistent and any time you tried to wiggle away from the pair of them and go home, she insisted that you stay and make sure Ben knew how upset he made you tonight.
You were more than happy to give your boyfriend the cold shoulder until he apologized rather than have to confront him. That was just how your relationship with Ben worked. Neither of you were the type to lose your tempers and yell and scream at each other.
Although you were worried what would come out of this. Would you be able to peacefully discuss your feelings and then come to some sort of conclusion civilly? Seems too good to be true honestly.
Even then you waited until Ben came home, listening to Gwen and Kevin about how you should rip the band aid off and get everything off your chest rather than ignore him for a couple of days until the two of you got bored.
Usually, the latter would work but you had an inkling that it wouldn't be the solution for this particular argument because if you didn't communicate your emotions then he would never know how you felt about it.
So, even though your stomach filled with anxiety and sadness as the hours passed, you still didn't leave, determined to talk to him about it.
Your jaw was clenched tight when he finally did come back home, utterly relaxed and even happy like he wasn't just curled up against some Hollywood starlet while his girlfriend was watching it on E!
"I'm really upset with you." You ground out when Kevin and Gwen left, not knowing how else to start the conversation.
"What for?"
You didn't reply, picking up the remote and flicking to a gossip channel, then a news channel, then an interview show and all of them had the picture of Ben Tennyson and Jennifer Nocturne locking lips.
Ben winced, "She kissed me! I didn't even return it."
You still refused to look at you, crossing your arms aggressively, "Uh huh and what was today all about?"
"It's just publicity. Jennifer thinks that it'll help with my career."
You scoffed, "What career?"
Ben's back tensed up and he turned to give you a stiff expression, "I'm a superhero. I've saved the universe a thousand times and now that I'm finally getting recognition for it, you want to be petty?"
"Petty? You think I'm being petty? Well forgive me for getting upset after watching my boyfriend curl up to some other woman in a hot tub for the last five hours!" You bit, standing up from the couch.
"It wasn't like that! Stop blowing everything out of proportion!"
"No, you stop pretending like this isn't a big deal! Ever since your secret got out you've been acting like an ass and since meeting that blonde rat it's only gone through your head more!" You shouted, clenching your hands at your sides. How could he not see your side of this?
"Well shouldn't I get to enjoy my life once in a while?! I'm the one saving the planet constantly! I'm the one with constant death threats and near death experiences every other week! Shouldn't I get some attention for it?! God knows I don't get any from you!" He yelled back and you grit your teeth.
"Don't forget that while you were out there risking your life, we were right beside you!"
"Oh, so that's what it is, you're jealous that everyone thinks of you as the sidekick!"
"That is so NOT what this is about!"
"Oh really? Because it sounds like you're jealous because you're not getting attention by mooching off of me!"
Your eyes widened in shock. Mooching? Did he seriously think that you risked your life alongside him every day to help other people and more importantly, keep him safe, for attention?
Your body trembled, outraged and you didn't say another word, leaving his house in a rush and slamming the door behind you.
You needed something to hit.
***
Your body pumped with adrenaline and anger, muscles itching to be used as you sauntered through the old and run-down factory with reckless abandon. You briefly wondered whether you should've told Gwen or Kevin you were going there but then decided against it, pride and anger too great.
Any doubts or hesitation you had disappeared when you saw Vulkanus, standing tall and broad in his metal suit. And as per usual, he had his herd of minions doing his physical labour.
"If it isn't the Plumber's sweetheart." He drawled once he noticed you. You didn't bother with the stealth, leaving the door wide open behind you and letting the sunlight seep in. If he knew what was good for him, then this would be over quick.
"Hello Vulkanus." You greeted politely and he rolled his eyes. Of all people, he knew just how misleading your innocence was.
"Where's the cavalry?"
"Just me today." You answered and for a second you were confused by your own confidence. Maybe you were taking this just a little too easy. Oh well, that was another thing you could blame your pig-headed boyfriend for.
"Well then, this is going to be easier than I thought. Hope you said goodbye to your boyfriend, sweetheart." He rasped out and the corner of your mouth twitched into a smirk. Without another word, you raised your arms, feeling the familiar heat of fire in the palm of your hand before chucking it at him.
Just as you knew he would, he sent his minions towards you first. They were embarrassingly unskilled but the problem came in numbers. They swarmed around you like ants and you felt yourself getting irritated at the clicking sound they were making.
Unfortunately for Vulkanus his make-shift factory was right beside a dam which gave you an endless supply of the elements to work with.
Summoning all the water you could manoeuvre, you pulled it into the factory, shattering the windows along with it and flooding the room. It only took a few flicks of your wrist to create a whirlpool in the centre, knocking all the workers off their feet.
You stiffened your hands, curling in your fingers and the temperature dropped, the water solidifying with each second until all of them were encased in ice. Another flick of the wrist had the path clearing between you and Vulkanus, who was still warm.
"You-You're sparing me?" He asked, confused and a dry laugh left you.
"Not at all," You sang, eyes turning dark, "I'm giving you special treatment."
Vulkanus bounded towards you, holding his mallet high and you swiftly dodged, using water on the floor to slide quickly. He crashed into the engine of one of his machines, the fuel tank exploding and spewing fowl smelling petrol onto the floor.
It floated above the level of water and began surrounding both of you.
He once again came at you, letting out a roar and you used the water to sink through the crevices of his suit, freezing it from within and you heard the satisfying sound of his suit cracking.
Just a little more strength and forcing a gust of air through the cracks had it falling apart and his frail body fell out of its metal encasing.
"You'll pay for this! You big bully!"
"Thanks for the fun time today, Vulkanus." You smiled, strutting to the door just as confidently as you came in. Even though your body was burning from the workout and you could barely breathe, you still couldn't get over the high.
Before leaving the building, you turned around to see him still glaring at you from his place on the floor.
"Oh, I should probably free your minions, right?" You commented, eyes flickering between the ones still encased in ice and the floor that was still flooded with water and petrol.
You let out a fake sigh, "I guess I'll be nice today," You winked at Vulkanus, "Thanks for the playdate, sweetheart."
His eyes widened when you blew a kiss to him, watching in fear as you ignited a flare in your palm and blew it towards him before turning around and using the wind to slam the doors behind you. When you were just a few feet away you heard the place blow apart.
Slowly, the adrenaline began melting and the blood rushing through your ears was much more audible. You were panting, tired from the exercise and the thought of calling Kevin to come and pick you up. Or maybe even Ben. You were calm enough now to have a conversation with him.
When you pulled your phone out of your pocket you felt a hand on your shoulder and spun around to meet eyes with Captain Nemesis. For a brief second you were wondering if he was here to invite you to some inane party or even to tell you that Ben was at one.
Although you hardly looked the part, you were sweating and your face was probably red and blotchy.
"Can I help you?" You asked, taking a step back, he was a little too close to you and the look in his eye freaked you out.
"As a matter of fact, you can." He said, "You see I'm arranging a little stunt for Ben Tennyson. An opportunity if you will, to showcase some of his heroism."
You rolled your eyes, turning away from him. The last thing you wanted to do was feed Ben's ego at the moment.
"With all due respect, I don't really think I'm up for a damsel in distress routine right now, Captain, I'd rather just get home. And If you take another step towards me, I'll kick you where the sun doesn't shine." You snapped and he backed off obediently, raising his hands in a form of surrender.
"That's too bad." He mused and you turned away from him, intent on walking back home or even calling a cab. Anything to get away from this creep faster.
"Too bad you don't really have a choice."
You felt his hand on your bare shoulder again but before you could even react you felt volts of electricity rush through you. You gasped painfully, feeling fire through your veins before everything started to hurt.
White burned in your vision and colours started to blur together as your eyes filled with tears. Your body crumbled, falling forward and Captain Nemesis caught you.
Right before your consciousness slipped away you heard him say something.
"For your sake, you better hope that Ben Tennyson is as great as those gossip channels make him out to be."
***
When you felt yourself regaining consciousness, you could feel your weight pulling down and also couldn't feel the ground. This had your eyes snapping open, regardless of how dizzy you were and how many dots were in your vision.
You hazily made out the venue, Nemesis Tower, before recognize the blonde woman tied up beside you. It didn't take long before you realized she was tied to the other end of the rope, suspended through mid-air just like you.
This was no doubt going to be some sort of deathly choice.
You noticed when Ben came in, turning into Ultimate Humangasaur. He looked furious, like you've never seen him before and you knew it was because Ben was certain he'd teach him a lesson today.
"Where's (Y/N)." He all but growled and your heart soared. You didn't realize how much you missed him until now, everything from before was forgotten.
"Right up there. And so is Jennifer." He replied, still smug despite the way Ben was pining him to the ground by his throat. Ben followed his gaze to meet your eyes and you took a deep breathe, bracing yourself.
A selfish part of you wanted to stay and see what Ben would do, would he save you even though Jennifer was a civilian and world famous?
Even then you figured that you shouldn't risk anyone's life for petty jealousy, so you took a deep breath, blowing it out through your mouth and watching as a gust of wind blew past, the pressure making you swing.
You swung a few feet back, letting your body fall a little before blowing again. Once you gained enough momentum, you looked up to the rope tying the two of you together and spitting fire at it, falling at an angle. You briefly heard Jennifer scream and revelled in her karma for a hot second.
On your way down, you quickly burnt off the rest of the ropes, bringing a pool of water to crystallize into a makeshift slide as you slide on your knees across the floor, just in time to catch Jennifer in your arms.
Your knees stung as they scraped across the concrete and the wind was knocked out of you when the woman fell into your form.
She gasped and her eyes that was screwed shut gently fluttered open. Up close you could understand why everyone was in love with her. Even then you couldn't spare her any concern.
You quickly pushed her out of your arms, noticing Gwen and Kevin staring at you in awe when you stood up. You cracked your knuckles, making your way over to the older man with a scowl.
"For your sake, you better hope that I'm just as weak as you think I am. Spoiler alert, I'm not."
Ben spared a small smile at you but you couldn't feel anything aside from hot fury. You felt water surge beneath your fingers and threw it at him, pulling up a wall of earth to block his blasts.
Your boyfriend immediately began fighting alongside you and your bodies fell into a familiar rhythm. Even though there was a crazed narcissist trying to kill you, you felt safe beside Ben.
It wasn't long before the four of you managed to overpower him, rendering his armour useless until he was defeated, lying pathetically on the ground.
You walked up to him and your lips twisted into an unimpressed frown when you noticed the way he had the audacity to glare at you. Without a second word, you raised your leg and kicked him right between the legs.
"I always keep my promises, Captain."
Kevin began laughing behind you and Ben cringed.
Finally, when you turned to meet Ben, now de-transformed, all the fight left your body and you relaxed. He looked apologetic and you let him approach you.
His arms wrapped around your waist and you leaned into him, breathing the familiar scent of his deodorant and snaking your arms under his jacket to fist his T-shirt.
He sighed into your hair, arms tightening around your body, "I'm sorry. For being an ass to you and saying all those horrible things, I was being an idiot and you deserve an apology."
You didn't move, not pulling away from the way your forehead was pressed against the length of his neck, "Thank you for coming to save me."
"Didn't look like you needed much help." He chuckled and you felt happy hearing the pride in his voice.
"I missed you." You murmured, holding him a little tighter and he turned his head to kiss your forehead gently. And just like that, everything was right in the world. Just as long as you were in each other's arms.
"I love you."
You heard the click of a camera and your head snapped up to see a herd of cameramen and reporters along with a couple of police cars. Ben laughed nervously beside you, "I guess we won't have to worry about another actress coming between us."
You gave him an unimpressed frown and he just smiled, leaning to peck your lips and you heard the crowd of reporters’ gasp and heard the shutters of cameras before they began shouting questions at you.
You pulled away from him when you saw Jennifer Nocturne make her way towards you. You figured she wanted to snuggle up to Ben now that the cameras were filming.
Instead, she walked right up to you, hugging you tightly and your arms flailed pathetically beside her, unsure of what to do, "You saved my life! I don't know how to thank you!"
She pulled away for just a second before pressing a kiss to your lips. Your eyes widened in alarm and the shutters began once again and flashes practically blinded you.
"Huh, so that's what that feels like." Ben murmured when she pulled away from you. Kevin was smirking beside him, satisfied that he got a taste of his own medicine and Gwen was just in shock.
Ben felt his stomach turn at the sight of Jennifer’s lipstick on your mouth and you were unsure whether you should feel repulsed or cocky.
But as you wiped the pigment off your lips and curled back into Ben's side you couldn't feel anything other than your burning muscles and your drooping eyelids.
You squinted because of the bright lights, feeling a headache grow as the exhaustion from before crept up on you again. After 2 fights and a kidnapping today, there was nothing more you wanted than a nap.
"Wanna go home?" Your ever observant boyfriend asked just as the nausea started to kick in. You nodded and he guided you away from the reporters to his car.
He gently placed you into the front seat, shielding your head as you got in to prevent you from hitting it against the hood before buckling your seatbelt, watching carefully as you drifted into a sound sleep.
Ben heard everyone behind him swoon as he lovingly placed a kiss to your knuckles and then climbed into the seat beside you, sparing you one last warm glance before starting the car and driving away.
He'd definitely notice the shy smile on your face when you saw that Ben kissing you was on the front page of a magazine.
And you'd notice the jealous scowl he'd have when he saw that Jennifer kissing you was on the front page of another.
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sekceesimps · 4 years ago
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Dying Light (a yandere Zhongli x reader oneshot)
summary: Zhongli comes to claim his darling after she fails to fulfill her end of the contract 
a/n I wish I could say this was requested but I love this man too much. Writing this one had me feeling some kind of way… Hope you all enjoy and leave some requests (pls do yandere Genshin 🤧 smh)! 
Sincerely Coffee
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His dark hair shines vividly in the solemn moonlight. Amber eyes radiant, like the purest of diamonds, and fixated right on you. You stand before him and try to subtly shrink away under his piercing gaze. The candles in the room flicker from some gusts of wind coming in. Zhongli seems stiff and at attention, but at the same time far away, lost in thought. Your light and unconscious movement backwards out of fear, unnoticed by you, immediately snapped the archon’s thoughts back to you. 
A ghost of a smile begins to dance its way onto his handsome face, a stark difference to the dangerous threats he had whispered into your ear just moments ago. The light gave him an eerie appearance. 
“Darling Y/N, I’m afraid that you didn’t uphold your end of the bargain,” he frowned and cocked his head mockingly. You step backwards some more until your back hits the wall of the funeral parlor. He has a predatory gaze now as he steps forward and pins a hand on the surface next to your head. He leans forward to further take in your panic. It brought him distress to see that you weren’t comfortable around him. 
“I’m sure you were a good girl and read the fine print. Surely you must be aware that at the end of our contract, if it was that you couldn’t fulfill your end of the deal, then you must join the greatest contract of all time with me?” he continues and runs another hand hand teasingly down your jaw. 
“Perhaps you could entertain me and tell me what that greatest contract is?” you ask hesitantly. Beginning to feel the gravity of the situation as you notice the way the archon caresses you and looks at you with eyes filled with a dangerous sort of adoration. 
“Oh Y/N, you’ve been bad, I thought you understood everything when you signed. I mean marriage of course,” he answered gleefully, eyes sparkling with affection and excitement at your shocked expression. 
Yes, just when did this feeling for you begin, he had pondered to himself. There was no mistaking that these emotions he felt for you were love. He was sure that you also loved him, so why did you look so afraid? He would show you again how perfect the two of you are. 
- - - 
Zhongli is not one to break his word. He is the archon of contracts after all. When you had approached him, as Rex Lapis, a few months ago he had decided to learn much more about you.  
You were an interesting mortal and had almost immediately caught the God’s attention. The geo archon had taken to shying away from the affairs of humans over the last hundred years or two. However he tended to make exceptions for interesting people with even more interesting requests. 
“I’d like to ask for some help,” your melodic voice said, breaking the silence in Rex Lapis’s abode. “If that means signing into a contract with you, then I accept,”
He appeared near you in an instant, “Even if that means not getting the best deal?” he asks, startling you slightly. 
“Yes,” you breathe out lightly. 
“Hmm, you’ve caught my interest,” he responds, putting a hand to his chin, as if he was thinking long and hard about a potential deal with you, “do go on with what you need my help for” he finishes. Of course, he already knew what you needed. He had been watching you for quite a while, but he loved hearing your voice and being near you for once. 
“I need to find someone and I can’t do it by myself. Could you please lend me your strength and assistance as I look for this person” you practically begged him. Oh how he wanted to hear your begging in a different context. It was taking everything within him to not tug you by your hair and bring you to his side forever by force. He knew that you probably wouldn’t appreciate that and he still had to do his job and draft a contract. That is when the idea had struck him to skillfully find a way to keep you with him forever. 
“Very well, let us start writing up a contract then,” he pronounces with a tone of disinterest, secretly preening with joy on the inside. You perk up and smile largely at him, it brought him satisfaction knowing that he made you feel like that. 
“Alright that should be everything,” he finishes and removes his quill from the scroll. “I will come to you whenever you need help, all you must do is call out my name. As for my benefit, all you need to do is find this person you hold dear and that will be enough for me. You have the next 70 days to complete this, of course there will be a punishment if you can’t fulfill your end. However I have the most faith in your skills.” you nod at him in confirmation as you take the pen from him and leave a scrawling signature on the paper. A glowing binding tying you to the archon, prompting you to blush at how close the two of you were now. “Don’t disappoint me, Y/N'' he whispered and let you leave his abode with a smile. The first step in his plan to make you his was finished. Time to wait for your inevitable failure. 
Now he wasn’t going to actively make you fail, he still was true to his job and bound himself to you so that you could call him for help. He would still assist you as well. However, he agreed to what you wanted because he knew the task itself was impossible. This brother you were looking for was long gone for sure, he made sure of that before he signed on to your contract. He couldn’t wait for when the two of you would finally be spending the next few weeks together. 
 Zhongli was smart about the way he conducted himself around you. He was careful not to give you any hints of his true intentions. Sometimes though there would be foolish people who pushed him. Whenever he saw you talking with, brushing arms with, or giving attention to others, the archon would be fuming. Of course, he would let it simmer, playing for the long game instead. It never failed to make him angry and anxious that these insignificant mortals thought they had a change with his future wife, it caused him to let out a tsch in annoyance. 
The two of you had wonderful moments in your quest. Your ability to work well together in battle allowed for quick defeats of random hilichurls on the journey. Truly your skills were something he admired and loved about you. 
The first night you left a parting goodnight kiss on his cheek was what made him truly believe in life again. Your warm lips against his skin ignited a flame within him that he didn’t know he yearned to have lit.  It began to become a sort of tradition between you two for the next months. 
 His favorite moment with you by far was when the two of you had been drinking and you allowed him to come into your bed. Now, not in THAT way. You didn’t like how he had been sleeping on the ground whenever you spent the night in a tavern so you told him to just sleep in the bed with you. It had been an awkward fit at first due to his taller frame. His long limbs were cramped painfully so you let him wrap his arms carefully around your body. Both of you take in and are intoxicated by the other’s warmth. He could get used to the way you faced him and nuzzled your face into his neck. He had fallen asleep and had the most wonderful rest for the first time in a while. 
After the two of you woke up and cuddled in the morning, “Should the day ever come where we are not together, you will continue to shine like gold in my memories” he had smiled and gently taken your hand into his own as he brushed his lips softly against your knuckles. His words and soft actions prompting a light blush across your face. 
He didn’t know how much longer he could wait for you. Every moment he was with you, but not truly in the way he desired wound him up more and more. He knew he would snap very soon. 
- - - 
You tremble against the cold breeze and his warm touch as he leans closer to you and captures your warm lips with his own in a passionate kiss. His hands traveling down further onto your flushed skin. 
Now that you were his in an unbreakable bond, he finally felt at ease. With you, Zhongli felt at home for the first time in thousands of years. He would protect you from any and all threats. If it meant keeping you safe with him, then he would tear apart all of Teyvat. After all, you belonged to this archon now. 
As the sun begins to rise, you notice the dying light within the parlor, fading candles leaving behind a darker atmosphere. A perfect metaphor you think, if he kept touching you like this then you knew that your own resolve would also die out, completely accepting the ownership that he had over you. 
Zhongli notices your wandering gaze before he takes your face between his slender fingers and forces you to look up at him. “Perhaps you’ve forgotten how much you mean to me. Let me remind you,” he announces as he lifts you up and brings you towards his room. Indeed, he would be spending the next few hours reminding you of his love, before you embark on the next chapter of your lives together, courtesy of his subclause turning you into an adeptus in addition to being his wife forever more. He had all the time in the world to get you to comply and love him as dearly as he loves you.
a/n why am I so in love with this man 🧎‍♀️
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levi-my-beloved · 3 years ago
Text
Birds of a Feather
Chapter 3
Pairings: Canon!Levi x F!Reader
Content warnings: Violence, implied torture, two pining idiots being two pining idiots, probably ooc Levi cuz oof i suck
Word count: 8.2K
Summary: You were the most notorious criminal in the Underground City. With your organisation of highly skilled professionals, only one man could take you down. He also happened to be Humanity’s Strongest… and your ex.
Previous Chapter
First Chapter
A/N: y’all these chapters are getting real long now… and they only get longer as i keep writing. just wanted to a say a quick and huge thank you for the amazing support i’ve had so far. i honestly didn’t think anyone would read this little story and it’s so heartwarming to see people enjoying it
i love every one of y’all so much 🥺
𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔
If your hands were free, you would have shielded your eyes as the blinding sun greeted you. You weren’t quite expecting it to be so bright. You knew the overhead world was nowhere near as dark as it was in the Underground City, you’d seen the rays of light spilling down from the toll gate but never in your life had you expected life to seem so..,
Vibrant.
Blinking a few times, you almost had to force yourself to remember your circumstances, gently pulling against your chains. The look of awe on your face was unmistakable.
“Holy shit…” you breathed, eyes now wide as you took in your surroundings. It was warm up here. Really warm. The sun gently beating down on the busy streets. Levi appeared next to you, pushing you forward to continue up the stairs.
“Don’t get used to it, you’ll be in a cell before long,” you were expecting to catch some satisfaction in his tone, but there was nothing other than contempt. You took a breath, managing to resist attempting to kick his shin as you kept climbing the stairs, now fully embraced in the sun’s light. Though it didn’t last as long as you would have liked. Sooner than you deemed necessary, if you were honest, a carriage clattered up in front of you. It was surprisingly lavish considering you were a criminal. Squinting in suspicion, your hesitation only earned a rough push against the back of your head.
“Get in.”
“You never were one for manners were you?” you drawled after stumbling clumsily into the carriage. The plush leather seats squeaking against your own getup, leather on leather disagreeing with each other.
“Not when it comes to people like you, no,” the raven haired man took up a seat opposite you, immediately folding his arms as staring out the small, curtained window. A muscle in your jaw flickered in irritation.
“People like me? You mean people like you? Or have you really forgotten where you came from? Did you lose brain cells as well as your sense of self?” god you just wouldn’t let up, would you? Levi rolled his eyes, successfully masking how much he hated the way you spoke to him. Like nothing ever happened between you. He understood. Of course he did. He knew why you were so upset. Why you were trying so hard to hurt him. He knew you wanted him to hurt the same way you did, but knowing what you were doing wasn’t going to stop the spear you kept repeatedly driving into his heart.
You attempted to shift ever so slightly, just so your hands weren’t painfully crushed against your back. Once again the thought of kicking him crossed your mind, but the situation wasn’t exactly in your favour right now.
It was only a few moments of awkward, deafening silence before you two were joined by both Erwin and Hange, the latter opting to sit next to you, seemingly not worried about whether or not you could still skin her alive even with your wrists bound. Erwin sat a respectable distance from you, despite the size of the carriage. The man barely fit, it was only because of your own size and the size of Levi did you assume you were all able to travel together. That still didn’t stop the man opposite you from throwing you a disgusted look as your knee grazed his. Just to piss him off, you did it again.
“SO! Raven, you’re joining the Scouts?” Hange blurted out, earning her a glare from Levi, a sigh from Erwin and a baffled scoff from you.
“Yeeeaaah… no. That’s not happening.”
“I’m afraid you don’t have a choice in the matter,” Erwin chimed in, almost defeatedly.
“Why don’t you just do what you usually do with criminals? Hang me as some sick entertainment for the public.”
“That can be arranged.”
“Levi…” Erwin warned lowly, to which Levi simply clicked his tongue in response.
Shit, that one hurt. He really didn’t care for you anymore, did he?
Once again, if you had your hands free, you would have run them through your hair. Joining the Scouts? That was never really something that ever crossed your mind. It didn’t seem to make sense. Why on earth would they want to draft you in? The question was swiftly pushed from your mind, replaced by another. Something you’d been burning to know ever since you realised the Scouts knew your location.
“Who was it?” you asked quietly, staring at your feet. Levi stiffened, shifting his eyes from the window back to you. Your demeanor struck a chord with him. You looked defeated, shoulders hunched over. “Who betrayed us? I just want to know.”
A heavy silence settled over the trio, none of them wanting to be the one who broke the news. The bond and connection between you and your Nest was strong. Trust ran through your veins, so to have it broken by any one of them was already shattering your very being.
“A woman. Brown hair, blue eyes. Scarlett, I think her name was,” at that moment, everything seemed to stop. Your world froze. It was Scarlett. Your own lover. Your wife. The woman you trusted more than any of them. She had betrayed you. Betrayed all of you. She was the one who put Una’s life in danger. The one who was responsible for the scar across her neck she would carry forever.
The three Scouts looked at each other, each not really knowing how you would react. Not even you knew how you were going to react. You were stuck in limbo. Everything and nothing was going through your mind. You didn’t know how long you’d sat there staring at nothing, simply trying to process this information, but it must have been an uncomfortably long time, if Erwin’s awkward throat clearing was any indication, gently bringing you back from your thought spiral.
“Oh.” was all you could manage, still not able to raise your head. Your eyes started to burn after not blinking for seemingly too long. How could she? How could she betray you? To the Military Police, of all people. You hadn’t cried for a very, very long time, but damn you were close.
Shit this entire ordeal had been difficult, but seeing you so defeated was next level. Levi dug his fingernails into his palm to stop himself from holding you. From comforting you. He still knew you well enough to tell when something was wrong. Very wrong. And although his stomach twisted slightly with the ideas of who this woman was running through his head, it was all he could do to tear his eyes from your hunched shoulders, returning his gaze to the window as the world passed him by.
“Did you know her?”
“Why would I tell you?” you tilt your head, glaring at Hange next to you, your jaw clenched. You may have just felt the last remaining fragment of your heart shatter, but that didn’t mean you would give them any more information than you had to.
“Raven, I give you my word, we will leave The Nest be,” Erwin tried his hand at reassuring you. None of this made any sense. Why were they being nice? Don’t they know how many soldiers you and your people had slaughtered? How much you had stolen from their warehouses?
You raised your eyes, seeing Levi glancing at you cautiously. Silver hues flicking over your defeated form with that same, cemented expression of boredom, before slowly looking back to the window. You spent the rest of the journey in silence, going over all the events that had led to this moment. How you could have possibly let this happen.
You trusted Prongs. You knew he would take care of your family. But Scarlett…
The bony claws of betrayal grasped your throat, gently squeezing until it became difficult to breathe. The walls of the carriage started closing in around you. Helplessness tainting the corners of your mind. You were stranded. Captured and soon to be forced into the military. To face those titans you’d heard so many people talk about.
You’d found the first man to ever hold your heart. You’d lost him, and then you’d found him again. And you could almost feel his hatred for you.
And though you put on a brave face. Though you put on an act to convince him you felt the same…
You couldn’t find it in your fractured heart to return his hatred.
The gentle, rhythmic clopping of hooves came to a slow stop, the door opening outwards to let the four of you out. Hange hopped down the step with seemingly boundless energy, before immediately engaging in conversation with a taller, worried looking man. Erwin stepped down, but once again you refused to move. If you could make their lives as difficult as possible, you would. Pure spite was fueling you now, your only current reason to carry on.
“Oi, move,” it was a blunt command, and one you paid no mind to. Not even raising your head to acknowledge Levi had said anything. “Hey. Did you lose your hearing on the way here? I said move,” a sharp kick to your shin prompted you to tilt your chin just enough to shoot another one of your glares in his direction. He too had to keep up his charade until he could get you alone and finally have a proper conversation.
“Go to hell,” was your only response, heavily debating spitting in his face as his hands once again grasped your arm. You flinched ever so slightly at the contact, something that didn’t go unnoticed, but it appeared Levi didn’t care.
Levi did care. Holy shit did Levi care. What the hell had happened to you to prompt you to flinch in such a way? Who the fuck had laid their hands on you? Who the fuck had hurt you like that? He allowed the rage to course through his veins, before letting it simmer down. He would deal with that later.
You stumbled as you were almost thrown from the carriage, knees colliding with the stone beneath you before you were dragged back to your feet
That fucking hurt. You started to think that maybe you could return his hatred. The next chance you got, you were driving you knee into his fucking gut. But for now, you decided to settle your glare on Erwin as he was talking to a darker haired man who kept glancing in your direction. It’s only now you realised your condition. You were filthy, mud and grime greasing your hair, blood and small cuts littering your face and knuckles, a dark bruise blossoming on the underside of your chin. Levi’s hand still held you firm, preventing you from even attempting to escape. Not that you would. You really couldn’t see the point, other than running into titan territory yourself. You tensed as the tall, haggard looking man approached you, apprehension mixed with disgust clouded his eyes, but it was an expression you refused to flinch away from.
“The Raven?” you couldn’t help raising a brow.
“Stupid fucking question. No, I'm just an innocent bystander dressed like The Raven for a costume party. I just so happened to think a pair of manacles clasped around my wrists completed the look,” you hissed sarcastically, and you could have sworn you heard something that could resemble a laugh from behind you, but it was so miniscule it was difficult to tell. If only this had been ten years ago.
You watched with satisfaction as a muscle twitched in his jaw, before the man managed to compose himself.
“My name is Niles Dok, Commander of the Military Police soldiers you seem to have so much fun slaughtering,” he introduced himself in a way that made it seem like the last thing he wanted to be doing was introducing himself to you right now.
“So? Do you want a written apology or something? Have to take these chains off me first,” you spat, with the innocent smile of an adder. This seemed to rile the man up more, to the point where he fisted your hair painfully, yanking your head up. His voice lowered to a dangerous murmur.
“Listen you little whore, I don’t know which door to hell you crawled out of, but I have men specially trained to deal with rats like you. They take pleasure in every agonised scream they can rip from your filthy mouth,” you refused to let your panicked, racing heart rule your mind, using every ounce of mental strength to hold his stare, firing back with a nasty glare of your own. And it took all of Levi’s willpower not to launch himself at the MP Commander.
“Go fuck yourself,” the retort came so naturally as you actually spat in his face. It gained you a much more satisfying reaction than you imagined you would get from Levi.
Swiftly removing his hand from your hair, you slumped back, staring up at the man between the now dishevelled strands. Wiping your saliva from his eye. You flinched as the back of his hand came up to strike you. Quicker than you would have expected, Levi was immediately by your side, eyes glinting with murderous intent. But before anything could happen, Niles’ hand was caught by Erwin behind him.
“Now, now Niles. Don’t go harming my soldiers,” his voice was borderline condescending as the MP Commander turned to look back to Erwin with an expression of disbelief.
“You can’t be serious? Erwin, this wasn’t part of the deal. You said—”
“I said we would aid you in capturing her. What happens to her after, is up to us. Think of it as collateral,” he reminded Niles of the deal they had struck before their meeting earlier.
“I didn’t think you would force her to join the Scouts. Are you insane?” It was a question Erwin had heard many times before.
“She’s just another calculated risk,” —he explained, before turning to his Captain— “Levi, take her to where she’ll be staying for the next week,” you had absolutely no idea what the hell was going on, but honestly, you were just glad Erwin stepped in when he did. You didn’t fancy whatever strike was about to land on you, and didn’t want to deal with whatever trauma it would drag up from your less than agreeable past. You didn’t have nearly enough time to unpack Levi’s own movements.
“Tch, why me? Why not Four Eyes?” his eyes slid to the scientist, who seemed to be engaged in an increasingly elaborate conversation with that poor, poor soldier. Even you felt a pang of pity for him.
“Because I’m afraid if I let Hange take her, she’ll end up in her lab rather than the cell,” Erwin sighed tiredly, looking at Levi with almost pleading eyes as the conversation behind him got louder and louder.
“Fine. But you owe me,” he responded, before tugging you away with him. You were almost sorry when you no longer felt the warmth of the sun on your back as he led you inside.
It was a walk full of disgusted glares and crude remarks. Clearly everyone had heard who you were by now, if that wasn’t evident by the snarls of “Bitch” and “Underground rat.” It didn’t really phase you. What these people thought about you was their issue, not yours. Though, you wouldn’t mind beating every single one of them within an inch of their lives given half the chance.
You failed to notice Levi’s ever darkening expression behind you. The glares promising a painful death thrown in every direction. The way a muscle flickered in his jaw at every passing comment. It was only until the hallway was empty did he feel that tension ease a little.
“Down here,” Levi instructed, leading you down a narrow staircase. As if you could go anywhere else.
“Yeah, no shit,” you snapped, earning you a harsh shoved down a few stairs.
“Don’t get smart with me.”
“Why? Afraid you won’t understand me?” that feigned sweetness to your tone was one you had perfected over the years he was gone, and was possibly your favourite form of sarcasm. He clearly didn’t dain your retort worthy of a response, the only sound to be heard being the echoing of your boots against the stone. It reeked of damp and rust, a different stench to the filth of the Underground. Speaking of which…
“You’re disgusting,” a flatly delivered insult was thrown your way as Levi guided you into one of the cells.
“I’m so sorry, I forgot to have a shower before you ambushed us. I’ll be sure to remember next time so I can smell like a fresh forest. I’m sure it would be a more homely smell for you,” you couldn’t help the sarcastic remarks that flew from your mouth. But you fell silent as he began removing your manacles. Instantly a plan formulated in your head. This could be your only chance at escaping. You just had to wait for the right moment.
As soon as the chains were removed from your wrists, you thrust your head backwards, in hope of catching his face. But you were met with nothing but air, and the sounds of quick footsteps behind you.
“You’re even easier to predict now you’re in a cell. Don’t try stupid shit like that,” did he forget how to change the emotion in his voice? He was never the most emotional person you’d met, but he would at least sometimes change his voice from ‘bored’ to ‘slightly irritated’. You were starting to wonder what else he had forgotten during his time here when the iron bar door to your cell was slammed shut, the key clicking in the lock. Now you were certain you couldn’t escape, you took in your living space for the next week. The bare minimum had been provided. A bed with no bed clothes, a rustic sink you weren’t even sure worked, and a broken mirror. Great.
The scraping of a chair behind you piqued your curiosity, turning you head to see Levi had taken a seat in front of your cell door, elbows resting on his knees.
“The fuck are you doing?” you asked, rising from your knees to turn and lean against the wall, arms folded.
“Waiting,” god damn his single word responses. You huff in frustration.
“Waiting for what?”
“You.”
“I could strangle you with my bare hands and feel absolutely nothing right now.”
“You’d have to escape first.”
“What makes you think I can’t?”
“What makes you think you can?”
As much as you hated to admit it, he was right. There didn’t seem to be any way you could escape these walls, you’d already done a quick run down. Threading your hands through your hair in irritation, you cross to sit on the pathetic material they thought was a bed.
“So?” you ask, still no closing to knowing what the hell he wanted. Once again, he didn’t deem your question worthy of a vocal response, opting instead to raise a thin eyebrow. You briefly fantasise about driving one of your long lost daggers into his goddamn eye, before simply brushing it off with a roll of your eyes. “Fine. Stay there and stare at me. It’s your time you're wasting,” you shrugged, flopping back onto the bed, arms thrown out either side of you.
“What have you been up to?” you couldn’t help the bark of sour laughter at the question.
“Seriously?”
“What?”
“After all this time, the first thing you ask me is what I’ve been up to?”
“Would you prefer me to ask you something else?”
“What’s on the menu?”
For a moment, it almost felt like no time had passed since you’d last seen each other. It felt like only yesterday did he have you in his arms, curled up in his bed, gently running his hands over your exposed waist, revelling in how soft your skin was against his.
Running a hand through his dark locks to bring himself out of his thoughts, he changed the trajectory of his questioning.
“Who taught you to fight like that?
“Self-taught.”
“Bullshit,” you winced at his response, raising your head slightly to stare at him, wondering who gave him the audacity to doubt you.
“Oh yeah? Not all of us had the advantage of stupidly strong genes, shortstuff,” shit, you hadn’t said that nickname in a long, long time. Clearly he hadn’t heard it for a long time either, judging by the way his eyes widened his body stilled. Neither of you were able to comment on the irony of the name, considering you were just as vertically challenged. Managing to shake yourself from your daze first, you realised that was a lot for both of you. “Sorry,” you murmured, averting your gaze.
“No, it’s… fine,” there was no malice in his voice. No hatred, a surprise that caused you to turn your head back to face him. Levi cleared his throat before continuing. “How’d you get that scar?” the second question caught you off guard, not expecting anything so personal so quickly. Naturally, you responded with something sarcastic.
“Tea party gone wrong,” an irritated sigh echoed off the dank walls, clearly not satisfied with your answer.
“What happened to you, Raven...?” if it wasn’t for the acoustics of the room, you would have missed the comment, but your heart clenched painfully as the third question reached your ears.
“You left, so I moved on,” you didn’t mean to sound so small or vulnerable. You didn’t mean to drag your knees up to your chest and clasp your arms around them. You didn’t mean to turn your head again, avoiding his gaze.
Levi mentally begged you not to look that way. He’d never seen you so insecure. And that itself broke his resolve.
Standing from his chair, Levi crossed the small space to the barred doors, not thinking twice about unlocking it and leaving the key in the lock. His body was almost acting on a it’s own. Years of taking you into his arms and holding you suddenly came back to him and he wanted nothing more than to take you in his arms once again.
But he hesitated.
You both did.
After raising your head to look at him, you watched as he stopped in the centre of your cell. Almost as if he was silently asking for some sort of permission to just do something.
You shifted slightly so you were leaning against the iron bars rather than the stone wall to the back, Levi taking this as the silent permission he needed to take a seat next to you.
Shit, the instinct to throw yourself into his arms was almost overwhelming, but you refrained, not wanting that kernel of hope to smoulder into nothing when he rejected you.
Levi was the first to break the silence.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” you responded, looking up to him between the loose, mangled strands of hair now obscuring your face just a bit. Age had been kind to him. His features, now much more defined. He was still the same man you knew back then, but this one was more chiseled. You looked away when his eyes found yours.
“You look like shit.”
“I feel like shit.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
It wasn’t the exchange you were expecting, this quick back and forth, but you wouldn’t say it was unwelcome. A familiar warmth started to spread in your chest.
“How’s the jaw?” you asked, eyes wandering to the now hefty bruise against his pale, soft skin. You remembered when you used to leave marks of similar colour all over his body. His neck, collarbones, abdomen, thighs…
“‘S’fine. How’s the chin?” his own eyes slid back to you, silver irises scanning your face briefly.
“Yeah. Fine,” you let the silence settle for a moment, before breaking it again. “Sorry I kicked you,” Levi grunted in quiet amusement.
“It was a damn good plan. Sorry I knee’d you,” it was only when he heard your gentle chuckle did he realise just how much he’d missed you. Every fibre in his body was begging him to roughly tug you into his body. To cup your face in his hands and seal your lips with a burning kiss. But all that changed when he shifted slightly and you flinched at the sudden movement. He stilled, waiting for you to relax again before he too settled back down.
“You knew her, didn’t you?” it was a rhetorical question. Your reaction after the reveal told him everything. Not only did you know her, but she was somebody close to you.
You stayed silent for a couple moments, not really knowing how to respond to his shift in conversation. You decided to match it.
“Yeah. I did,” you wouldn’t tell him. Not unless he asked. You wouldn’t tell him who she was to you. What she was to you. That still fucking hurt like hell.
“‘M’sorry.”
“You say that a lot,”
“You’re one to talk,”
You didn’t even try to quell your small laugh, letting it echo off the stone walls. Even Levi couldn’t stop a small chuckle at your amusement, feeling himself completely at ease in your presence.
“Did you really move on?” it was his turn to feel small. His turn to feel a little vulnerable. He couldn’t bear the thought of you just moving on from what the two of you had. Just throwing it all in the past and leaving it there.
“Yes and no.”
“The hell does that mean?”
You sighed, tightening your grip around your knees. You hoped this wouldn’t be as painful for him to hear as it would be for you to say, but you didn’t hold out much hope.
“Yes, I moved on. I’m not the same girl I was. Trust me on that. I’m not the same girl you fell in love with, nor the girl who fell in love with you,” you had to take a breath, suddenly finding the air down here far too thick. “She wouldn’t have survived down there. That girl would have been killed by some pig the moment you left. So... I killed her myself. You already know I’ve been part of The Nest for a while, but I wasn’t really one of them, if you get what I mean. I didn’t stay with them, I didn’t eat with them. Sure, Viper took me in after my—“ you stopped, burying that can of worms before you even opened it. That wasn’t something you wanted to bring up right now. “Viper took me in, taught me a few things, but I stayed with you. I didn’t have to be one of them when I was with you. But when you left… I didn’t exactly have a choice. I couldn’t be so naive anymore. I couldn’t be so hopeful. I had to be realistic, and to be realistic, I had to hurt a lot of people. I had to see a lot of things,” you allowed the weight of your words to settle before you continued. “But that girl. That girl you knew. She never stopped loving you. Up til the moment she drew her last breath and I took over. She loved you. But I moved on,” you fell silent, realising that yes, this had been just as painful for him to hear as it was for you to say.
It was a long while before Levi spoke again, nowhere near as confident as he was.
“That’s who she was to you,” just as he thought seeing you again couldn’t get anymore painful. Just as he thought your words couldn’t get anymore painful. “You loved her?”
“Yes, but not completely. Part of me was still devoted to you. I think that’s why she did what she did. Scarlett was never a spiteful person, but she did hold one hell of a grudge against you. And I suppose, in a way, me,” the silence was so thick you thought you could cut it with one of your blades.
“She’s still there.”
“Hm?”
“That girl. She’s still there. You’re still in there.”
“Now look who’s being naïve,”
“You’re trying to tell me this new, supposedly ruthless killer would kick the shit out of some soldiers for hurting a kid. You’re trying to tell me this new cold hearted thief would bring medicine to an elderly woman and her son?”
“I—”
“You’re telling me this new, heartless little dealer would earn the respect and thanks of thousands of Underground rats? Because to me, that sounds like bullshit… (Y/N),” he wouldn’t accept it. You weren’t gone, he could see it in your actions. You were still there. His (Y/N) was still in there.
Hearing your name in his low, warm tone after all this time sent a jolt through your system. And when he turned to look at you, he could see silver lining your eyes. It took everything in him not to reach up and gently wipe them away.
“I’m not going to stop until you see what I see. I’m not going to let you think you’ve become this heartless, mindless killer just because you had to adapt. Because you had to survive. I’ve finally found you again. Do you know how long I searched for you? How many hours I spent tracing every single path I knew you would take. Asking every filthy mongrel I could find. Most of them said you were dead. Some of them said you were missing and hadn’t been seen in months. Years, even. But until I found a body, or some kind of proof you were dead, I couldn’t accept it,” well this certainly caught you off guard. Levi was never one for long, heartfelt speeches, or verbal communication at all, actually. So this was a little overwhelming. Two tears slipped down your cheeks, sliding through the sudden cracks in your defenses and leaving a trail through the thin layer of grime and dirt.
Levi kept his eyes trained ahead, knowing that if he saw you crying, his restraint would break and he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from holding you. But he knew he couldn’t. From the way you’d reacted to his small movements, he knew suddenly tugging you into him would scare you.
“I’m sorry,” your small voice wrapped around his fragile heart, both settling it and cracking it. He went to extend his hand towards you with the intention of smoothing down your hair, but the way you winced, almost anticipating something much more intense, made him stop. Shit, you really did look like a husk of your former self. He remembered the way your eyes used to glint even in the low lighting of the Underground.
“You should rest,” it was an appealing enough suggestion. Enough to draw a barely concealed yawn from you. Leaning your head against the iron bars behind you, you swore you could have fallen asleep there and then. Comforted by his presence.
You immediately missed his presence as soon as he stood, tempted to reach out for his hand but not wanting to push him away.
As if he felt your confliction, Levi stopped to turn back to you.
“I’ll be back in the morning. Rest, (Y/N),” it wasn’t like you could disobey when your mind and body was so eager to sleep.
“Fuck…” you muttered, running a hand down the side of your face, exhaustion hitting you like a punch to the gut. This wasn’t exactly how you saw your day going today, but you couldn’t exactly say you weren’t thankful. You didn’t know what you were, honestly. So much had happened, you knew you would need time to process everything.
The screech of metal against metal alerted you to the key once again locking you within the cell. Dipping your head, you watched the dark haired man return the keychain to a small nail in the wall.
“Hey…” Levi turned to you as you called out, his expression as soft as it was a few moments ago. “It’s really good to see you again,” a thousand butterflies suddenly exploded in his stomach. How long had he been waiting to hear those words? And suddenly, he found himself unable to reply.
“Tch, go to sleep, Raven,” he reveled in your amused hum as he turned on his heel, leaving you to recover after today.
꧁ꨄ꧂
Levi ran a hand through his hair. Sitting at his desk in his orderly kept office, he could barely focus on the reports in front of him. That haunted look in your eyes had left a significant mark on him. The way you now spoke was so different to the bubbly younger girl he knew.
With a shake of his head, he attempted to divert his attention back to the account of the mission today. You’d taken down a few of his men yourself, he recalled watching your blades find purchase in his makeshift squad. A few others hadn’t returned from where they’d chased your Shadows. Actually, most others didn’t return.
As predicted, it was a bloodbath.
Leaning forward, he reached for his tea, continuing to scan over the document until his eyes settled on your alias, and he couldn’t help but wonder why you hadn’t told anyone your name. It prompted a memory he wasn’t expecting. He’d tried so many times to bury his past. Thinking about it saved him from thinking about his lost friends. But it was unavoidable.
“Hey! ‘Re’ya gonna buy anything? Or you just gonna keep staring?” Levi peaked out from behind the legs of a taller man, peering at the young girl who seemed to be giving his father figure sass. He couldn’t understand it. Didn’t she know who he was? She didn’t look much older than him. Maybe eight? Nine even?
“Listen little missy, I don’t think you wan’ to rush me,” the southern lilt of Kenny���s dangerously low voice didn’t seem to deter the little merchant. Levi’s eyes widened as she folded her arms, her grubby face creasing as she frowned. For someone so young, she certainly had an impressive glare.
“Or what? You gonna kill me? I sell to the whole street, mister. You kill me, they starve,” Wow, she really seemed to have this whole thing going for her. Levi looked up at Kenny, able to just make out the subtle smile under the shadow of his hat.
“What’s your name, little girl?
“Hmph. What’s it to you?” she retorted, stepping closer. It was only then she seemed to notice his presence. Her glare seemed to soften almost instantly, head tilting in sheer curiosity. Her sparkling, (E/C) eyes widened upon seeing him there. He only occupied a fraction of her attention, before it returned to Kenny, that scowl also returning.
“You’ve got guts kid, I’ll give you that. But maybe that’s simply cuz you don’t know who I am,” he mused, picking up one of the loaves of bread you were currently selling. They weren’t fresh. Nothing ever was. But it was the best your family had to offer.
“Kenny the Ripper, right? Yeah, I’ve heard of you. Seen your ugly face in the newspaper when those shits up top toss their trash through the grates. And you better buy that now your filthy hands have been all over it,” Levi couldn’t tell if this girl was brave or stupid. He’d never heard anyone speak to Kenny like that and actually get away with it.
“(Y/N) (L/N)! Watch your language young lady! And what have I told you about mouthing off to customers?!” her face quickly morphed from a glare to something he could only describe as sheepish. An older woman leaning out from the door behind you. Her hair colour was different to yours, but those eyes… they were your eyes.
“But Maaaaa, I was just—“
“No buts. Inside, now,” her voice was stern, but Levi was perceptive from a young age. He could see the softness in her eyes as the girl pouted. Turning back, he watched her send a cheery wave goodbye in his direction, pausing slightly as it wasn’t returned. Her brows furrowed, before she darted inside.
“Quite the brat you got there,” Kenny remarked, handing over a coin in payment for the bread he’d picked up.
“Yeah, sorry about her. Pain in my ass but her heart’s in the right place. I hope,” Levi wasn’t really paying attention to the conversation, too distracted by watching the same girl clamber out the open window and onto the ledge above. Only using her right hand to climb, she paused, as if calculating something before shimmying along the wall, round the corner and out of sight. Before Levi even had time to question what the hell he’d just witnessed, her head popped round the corner, eyes searching for him. He raised his brows in question when she gestured for him, whipping back round the corner. Seeing Kenny still caught up in conversation, he quietly left the two adults, heading for the narrow alleyway she’d just ducked into.
“Hey,” the whisper made him whirl, stopping to see her cautiously step from the shadows near the wall. “You looked hungry, so I stole this from our stocks,” it became apparent as to why she was only using one hand to climb when she presented another, slightly smaller loaf of bread. It wasn’t as stale as the ones on the stall. “We got fresh ingredients yesterday. My father’s a baker but we only sell the stale ones because we wouldn’t be able to keep up with the demand for fresh bread,” she explained quietly, her eyes wide in earnest. If it wasn’t for his ravenous hunger, Levi would have declined the offer. However, the smell was too good to pass up on. Slowly, he reached for it, half expecting her to snatch it back. But her honest expression remained, only retracting her hand after he’d taken a bite. “Don’t talk much, do you? That’s okay, I get a lot of people who are shy.”
Crossing her legs, she lowered herself to the floor, resting her back against the wall to what he could only assume was her house. He followed suit, sitting opposite her in the damp alleyway.
“Your dad’s an asshole, by the way. Very obkonshus,” Levi assumed she was trying to say obnoxious, but didn’t correct her. He almost found it endearing.
“He’s not my dad,” his blunt response had her head whipping back to look at him, almost in disbelief that he had actually spoken. A small blush blossomed across her cheeks at her mistake.
“O-oh. Sorry. I didn’t know,” an awkward silence settled over them, before she spoke up again. “Your not-dad’s an asshole,” Levi glanced at her, noting her cheeky smirk. His own lips twitched in amusement. She wasn’t wrong. Kenny was an asshole.
They stayed there until he’d finished his bread, (Y/N) simply talking about everything and nothing.
“Where’d that little rat scurry away to?” Kenny’s drawl interrupted your little conversation, prompting the both of you to shoot to your feet. The girl shot him a worried look, not knowing how this was going to play out. Levi was never one to offer reassurance, never really needing to, until now. He tried his hand at a reassuring expression, before stepping out the alleyway a little.
“Here, I was just—” he looked back to the narrow street where she just was, only to find she’d completely disappeared. His eyes widened ever so slightly, attempting to peer further down the alley. How had she done that? She was right there. Maybe you’d already started your climb? His eyes travelled up the side of the wall, but found nothing.
“The fuck are you lookin’ at brat? C’mon, we’re leavin’,'' Kenny strode past him, roughly tugging him along. But Levi wasn’t looking where he was going, silver eyes still glued to that alley, waiting for her to emerge. But she never did.
A harsh knock on his door snapped him out of his memory spiral. How long had he been sitting here? Usually he had a good grasp on time but right now it could have been four in the morning or two in the afternoon. Running a hand down the side of his face, he went to sip his tea, grimacing as the now cold liquid graced his tongue. Setting it down almost immediately, he would have forgotten anyone knocked on his door in the first place had they not knocked again.
“Levi? Are you in there?” Erwin. Great.
“The fuck do you want Eyebrows?” Erwin clearly took that as permission to enter. Not that he needed permission.
Levi raised his eyes as his Commander strode in, pushing the door closed behind him.
“I was wondering if you managed to get information out of our little criminal.”
Levi’s jaw flexed.
“No.”
“Nothing?” Erwin seemed a little surprised and Levi couldn’t for the life of him think why. He didn’t know about your relationship, and it wasn’t like he was well practiced in his social skills.
“Nothing. She’s refusing to say anything other than annoying, sarcastic quips.”
“You two aren’t so different then.”
“Oi,” Erwin chuckled at Levi’s low warning, holding up an apologetic hand.
“Apologies, forgive me. It was just a joke,” Levi rolled his eyes, clicking his tongue as Erwin took a seat on the leather sofa, crossing an ankle over his knee. “I’m surprised. I thought you two may get along. Considering your shared upbringing,” if he wasn’t talking to Levi, anyone else would have thought it was an innocent enough assumption. But over the years, Levi had learned Erwin’s tells, and knew when there was something deeper going on. But still, there was no way he could know about your literal shared past.
“She’s abrasive, rude, cocky and thoroughly unpleasant. Why on earth would we get along?” Levi knew he was lying through his teeth. Whilst yes, you were in fact abrasive, cocky and rude, you were far from unpleasant. He wouldn’t have shared his heart with you if you were.
Erwin pinched the bridge of his nose. Suddenly he looked incredibly tired, like he hadn’t slept in weeks.
“Did you know her? From your time down there. Did you two ever run into each other?” straight to the point, it seemed. Erwin hadn’t missed the Captain’s flash of recognition back when you’d taken your mask off. He hadn’t missed the way he froze to the spot.
But Levi wasn’t about to open up to anyone, especially not the same Commander that had dragged him kicking and screaming into the Scouts.
Truth be told, after that first interaction, Levi had tried his damndest to see you again at every opportunity. He’d never been shown that sort of kindness since his mother died, and he didn’t want your little spark to be snuffed out by the Underground. He didn’t speak to you very often, only silently offering to walk you home at night, warding off any unwanted attention a young woman would draw.
He offered to share his small home with you when you were both around fourteen. It had been two years since Kenny abandoned him, and he noticed you looked directionless, and though it had taken a while for you to open up, he was happy for you to stay with him until you found somewhere else.
He just never expected to fall in love with you, or for you to fall in love with him.
“No. I’ve never seen her before,” Levi lied, keeping his eyes trained on the same document he must have been staring at for the last god knows how long, too lost in his own mind to concentrate.
Erwin wasn’t quite as good at reading Levi, and so accepted that as his truthful answer.
“Very well, I bid you a good night, Captain,” ah. So it was nighttime. Noted.
“Yeah yeah, see you tomorrow,” Levi waved his hand dismissively, once again earning another chuckle from Erwin as the door was pulled shut.
Levi almost instinctively reached for his tea again, only just remembering it was stone cold. He sighed in irritation, rising from his chair. He didn’t think there was enough tea in the world to help him sort through his thoughts. But damn if it didn’t make it easier.
Rolling his now stiff shoulders, he picked up the cold brew and headed to the kitchen. It was going to be a long night.
꧁ꨄ꧂
Sleeping in the Underground City was a luxury. Despite your exhaustion, sleep didn’t come easily. You assumed you must have dozed off for an hour at least before the faint sound of multiple footsteps had you sitting bolt upright, your muscles barking in protest. You were always aware of your surroundings. Always ready, even when you may look like you were resting.
You didn’t quite know what to expect, quickly running through several scenarios and possibilities in your head. One of those possibilities rounded the corner from the stairs. Four MP soldiers now stood outside your cell, one jiggling the keys into the lock. Immediately you stood, not going down without a fight. Though it wasn’t much of one. Before you had even landed a proper blow on any of them, you were harshly kicked to the floor. Your body having not woken up properly yet, you were easy enough to subdue as they clasped your wrists together in front of you with rope. Not what you were expecting but it was more comfortable than behind your back.
You stayed silent as they dragged you further deeper into the complex of jails and cells. You didn’t imagine they would span this far beneath what you assumed was the headquarters, but nonetheless you kept walking until you were faced with a wooden door. The same soldier fiddled with the lock until it swung open and you were kicked inside.
Raising your head, you saw the room wasn’t exactly empty. An array of bats and blunt trauma objects rested against the far side of the wall, but that wasn’t what threw the spear of terror into your heart.
A single, iron hook extended down from the ceiling. It looked like it would be used for bleeding or drying meat, but you could think of several other uses for it. For example, your current situation.
The door locking behind you had your head whirling, eyes darting from the man with the key to the wood that now trapped you inside.
“Ah, Raven. I’m sure our commander forewarned you about this, I don’t really know why you look so surprised,” you shivered at the fake pleasant tone, a stark contrast to the way you were now being tugged to your feet, arms thrown up above you. You realise now why they used rope instead of chains, your wrists being hooked up above you. Your feet now only just grazing the floor, head falling between your shoulders with your loose thin shirt riding up your stomach. You suddenly regretted shedding your leather jacket earlier, wanting to be a little more comfortable as you attempted to sleep.
“We have strict instructions not to permanently damage you, however we have various other methods,” one of your torturers stalked behind you, reaching up to twist the hook so you spun with him, now facing the wall of weaponry. The other three who had accompanied you all leant against the wall to you right, as if waiting for their turn. “I thought I would be kind enough to let you choose which we start with. Since you’d be the one on the receiving end,” the sick fuck. He was really enjoying this wasn’t he?
“At least tell me what you fucking want,” you spat, thrashing slightly in your bonds. The man simply laughed, crossing to the selection.
“Oh, we don’t want information. Just for you to suffer as much pain as we did when you killed our comrades,” ah, so they had personal connections. Understood.
“I’d do it again in a heartbeat,” your crooked, satisfied grin faltered as his expression darkened, crossing the room towards you in a few strides. Roughly grabbing your chin, he forced your head up to meet his gaze as you writhed in his tight grip.
“You know, you were quite the formidable criminal down there. Slaughtering and murdering whoever you pleased. Harming those who had done nothing to you. But look at you now, strung up like a squealing pig. Fuck, if it isn’t satisfying to see,” he threw your head back down before driving his foot into your gut. The impact sent you swinging backwards, saliva flying from your mouth.
Raising your eyes, you shot him a visceral glare as he browsed his collection of weapons as if he was picking out a pastry at a bakery. Opting for the classic wooden bat, you braced yourself for the night to come, knowing it was going to be a long one.
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