#also i BET there's someone out there who will see this and be like ''she's reaching''
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just to ruin things.
summary: you and ellie’s cant run from your past forever.
warnings: toxic!ellie, mentions of drugs (cocaine), mentions of alcohol consumption, mentions of relapsing, angst, implied bi reader
a/n: hi! ive been sooo very busy but heres a little smth i wrote! this might be boring but i need to post </3 also listened to memories by conan gray while writing this if you care
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some stupid party got you exactly where you always ended up. in ellies truck. it made you so fucking angry the way she always swooped in to save that day like she was some superhero, like she was doing you a favor. you couldn’t blame her too much, you always gave in like a lost dog finding its owner.
part of you Needed her to save you, the unfortunate truth you weren’t ready to unfold, its one you couldn’t face in fear of what it might do to the wall you’ve spent Too long already rebuilding, 7 months and 13 days of rebuilding to be exact. you tell yourself you’re not counting, its just an estimate. like this, its just friendly, this is what friends do. they drive you home. you’re not even that drunk, you knew you were getting into her car, you knew you were letting her right back into the place you needed to keep her out of the most.
her eyes were straight on the road with her knuckles around the steering wheel. you looked at her, freckles splatted across her face like god himself hand picked each one. “youre a fucking idiot you know that? all over that guy? you dont even know him. he couldve slipped something in your drink, youre gonna get yourself killed.” she spat venom through the atmosphere, turning everything sour like she managed to do every damn time.
“fuck you.” you spat back. it wasnt worth it, never was nor ever had been. but ellie argued either way.
“what? you still cant handle the truth?” she piled on, it was like a never ending mound of what you did that she didn’t like or approved of, it pushed your buttons in a way ellie knew it would. when you spend enough time together, the memories you’ve engraved into your head don’t expire. ellie knew you like she practiced your coding. every nook, every cranny, every corner, every place she knew and altered as she pleased. ruining you every time without so much as an apology. it angered you so much, for someone who swore she didnt care, it hurt.
you looked down and fiddled with the hem of your dress, hyper focusing in on one thing so you didnt burst like a can of shaken soda, youd been on the edge of your breaking point since you had broken up. so many words you didn’t say, so many words you wish you didn’t say.
“cant speak now? what? have too much to drink? bet you remember that guy you were all over. probably remember him more than you remember anything about me.” she pierced daggers right into your pressure points, only fueling the fire that endorsed your temper.
you took a breath before turning your head to look at her. “you dont have the right ellie. youre a fucking loser. you know that?” you looked right at her. the way you knew she despised when she couldn’t meet your gaze. “i dont Need you to save me, we’re long past that. what i do and who i do is none of your god damn business!” you threw your hands into the air finally letting yourself lose your calm facade, not missing a beat in fear she might cut in and ruin what you know you Need to say, for yourself and maybe its a plead. you dont think, only spoke.
“youre acting like when we were together you didnt drink your ass off every fucking night. sitting on My couch, watching My tv, crawling into My bed pissed out of your mind, you dont have any idea do you? none?” you breathed heavily with tears in your eyes looking Right at her before moving your gaze again to meet the hem of you dress. knowing the battle you say is with ellie, is actually with yourself. its one you always lose. “im so fucking m-mad at you still..i dont need this, or to see you at all…id listen to silence and see nothing but black just to know id never get confirmation you still existed..i cant stand you..” ellie stayed silent, the way she always did. white knuckles gripped over the steering wheel, her jaw clenched, but you see the gloss over her eyes. you see the way she breathes like shes making sure its the perfect rhythm.
you closed your eyes, the silence was so deafening you thought you got your wish, but she opened her mouth proving you wrong and teaching you once again to not get your hopes up.
“you want me to got care anymore? you fucking got it.” she put it simple, you should be grateful but you cant seem to be. its your weakness, and its one you’ll never strengthen, her weight always dragging you back down like a purgatory, but your shackles will never be lifted, so potentially its a sugarcoated way of calling it hell.
you turn to look out the window. “thank god.” you utter under your breath, a chunk of your soul hopes she doesn’t hear, of course she does. “dont ask me to pick you up at 11pm anymore. im not coming.”
she makes a good point, a great one even. one that not even you could manage to figure out if you tried.
“then stop picking up.” its all you say, its all you Needed to say. you glance at the way shes losing internal fight in the torn up seat of her truck.
“you know i cant do that..” she whispers as a single tear falls from her eye. she tries to wipe it away with the knuckle bound to her thumb before you see. “i know.”
“then why? why pull me in to push me away? why?! why do you do it?” you fall silent, its a conversation you hadn’t prepared for, but its a hole you dug so long ago it feels like centuries, but like every past, it catches up to you. its something so long overdue it churns your stomach like a knot in a rope you cant seem to unravel. “what am i meant to do ellie? come crawling back to your doorstep and repeat everything i spent so long trying to mend myself back together over? seeing your face is the worst kind of relapse. its a reminder of what i worked for, to self sooth for months and act like kissing someone else doesn’t still feel like cheating. i do what i Have to do ellie, i cant plead with you, not when youre not mine and im not yours, because just like you. i have no fucking right..” your voice shook with emotions you didn’t know you we’re still capable of feeling.
ellie doesn’t try to hide her tears anymore, its pointless. its something rare, something you so selfishly cherish. its like feeding a sweet tooth that cant be settled unless you have empathy, you crave it every day knowing you never got it. you tell yourself shes crying for You and not yourself, its the fix of what will get you through this conversation, through tonight, and through next week.
“you think thats what i want?” she dryly chuckles before scoffing, using her pointer and thumb to wipe at her tear ducts. you fucking hate it. “you think thats what i want? i want you to be happy believe it or not, even if its not me. but god damn, it kills me seeing you with someone else and you dont even Care.”
you take her words as something thats malicious, but deep down somewhere in your heart you know its just the truth, maybe you’re not ready for this, you might never be. “you made that decision a long time ago. its out of my control now.”
her face hardened and her eyes stayed put on the road ahead. “you gave up on me. you put everyone else and everything else before me, was i supposed to stay?” she breathes out through her nostrils. you looked at her like she had said something outrageous, like it was a life altering claim.
“thats what you think huh?” you scoffed rolling your eyes and crossing your arms over your chest looking back out the window.
she raised her voice, her temper always did run thin. something you didn’t miss. “yeah, it is!” she bit the inside of her cheek and took a deep inhale.
“no ellie. i tried, and thats what you never give me credit for. i tried to help you get sober, i payed for your rehab bill so you could come back home to me, but the first thing you did when you got home was snort a line before you even looked my way. we’re not dogs, i cant lick your wounds and tell you they’ll heal, i had myself to worry for. you put drugs above me, so i stopped trying. i stopped begging you.” she fell silent for what you hoped would be the last time tonight, you watched the way she went to speak but shut herself up.
her voice still appeared a few seconds later. “i know i was an addict, i know i fucked up but you gave up on me regardless.” you looked at the tense expression she had as she drove, not even sure if she was driving in the right direction anymore. as much as you
wanted this to all be over you couldn’t bring yourself to care.
“you gave up on yourself. i didn’t even get a sorry.” you said dryly, looking back at your feet. everything seemed to consume you. “well im saying sorry now. and for the record i still love you.”
you wanted to recoil, to scream at her and tell her to fuck off, but you softened. you wiped your eyes, sniffling. “i still love you too, it drives me crazy.”
it was the truth, one you ran from. something you denied to your friends and family, knowing if you said anything remotely to the truth you’d see the way their face morph into an disapproving expression.
“i know ill never have you again, but for what its worth i’m thankful you were mine.” its something ellie never intended to say out loud but she used every resource she could.
you gave in to something she wasn’t even asking for, just something you needed to ruin you.
“for what its worth if you asked me to be yours again i don’t think i could say no.”
“then dont say no.”
#the last of us#ellie tlou#ellie williams#ellie angst#lesbian#the last of us part 2#tlou#ellie x reader#abby the last of us#abby fluff#abbytlou#ellie x y/n#ellie x you#ellie fluff#ellie x fem reader#ellie willams x reader#tlou ellie#ellie the last of us#elliewilliams#ellie wife#the last of us two#tlouwriter#tlou hbo#joel tlou#tlou2#tlou part 2#wlw yearning#wlw community#lesbian author#wlw blog
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I'm pretty sure that we see the issues clearly is because we only get to see the compressed timeline and end result so it's easy to see the glaring problems. But that's not how these characters lived it.
It's like no one set out to give Spider bad foster parents. By all accounts it was good at the beginning. It just slowly got worse over time and if things get worse slowly enough everyone has time to get used to each level until something forces them to acknowledge how bad it got (like Nash going full traitor).
I bet Spider and Neytiri thing also was mostly easy to ignore. The kids friendship probably started with Jake taking Kiri to visit Grace. Neytiri wouldn't come because she didn't like it there. But that meant Spider and Kiri would meet without her. Jake himself wouldn't mind.
For Kiri Spider must've been utterly fascinating - an only human that's not an adult. She probably wanted to take him home instantly. Once he became hers she would never let go. She, like many kids, probably thought that everyone felt like she felt. And her siblings did (Neteyam plays with them too back then) so her parents surely must've too.
For Spider that was the only time he had a kid his age to play with. Or rather kids because Jake probably took more than one to share human stuff with them. It seemed innocent enough. By the time Spider was big enough to safely go and visit other kids it was already too late. They would've be too heartbroken if their parents tried to take Spider away from them. And if your kids beg and plead it's hard to say no (for Jake especially to Kiri possibly because she is Grace's daughter).
And slowly Spider would spend more time in the forest as his home situation got worse. And the only one who would mind would be Neytiri. But she says it only to Jake. And Jake has no heart to separate the kids. How bad can it be? It spills over from time to time but it's mostly fine.
And, of course, Jake is always postponing dealing with this because it's never that bad. Sure, both Neytiri and Spider are uncomfortable around each other but it's not really bad. And talking about it is hard. Banning Spider makes the kids cry. Trying to argue with Neytiri is even worse. So better not to touch it and everything will stay as it is. Which is fine.
It's fine until it isn't. Sully kids don't understand what the problem is but they can't imagine life without Spider. Spider knows something is wrong but he'll lose everything if he lets go so there is no way back. Neytiri feels like no one cares about her feelings and concerns and it just make everything about Spider bother her even more. Jake is avoiding taking sides so he's making it even worse.
All Sully kids seem to have very high level of innate "this is wrong/unfair "radar and strong tendency to do something about it. This is exactly what gets Lo'ak to come after Payakan and Spider. This is why Kiri tries to include Spider in everything because he shouldn't miss out just because he's human.
But for Neytiri it means he's everywhere including places that she should be able to avoid his presence. He is reminder of all that came with the human invasion and the man who was responsible for all the worst if it. She probably hoped he would be returned to the RDA with the rest of human kids and their lives would be separate as they should be but her own kids stopped it from happening and endangered their own lives.
Everyone feels this is unfair and there is a rift in the family and no one is doing anything about it because there is no solution that doesn't leave someone hurt. Getting rid of Spider would seem like the best solution but then he is gone and that makes things even worse. They have to leave home and family behind. Spider's fate was even worse. And the reunion certainly wasn't happy.
I just hope that after all that happened they can finally deal with their issues instead of letting it fester. Now everyone knows there is a problem and acknowleding it should make it easier to admit they have to do soemthing about it. I hope (please, please, please) in A3.
Nobody talks about Kiri's role in Neytiri and Spider's bad relationship...
I know Neytiri and Spider's relationship has been talked about to death already, but there's one important aspect of it everyone seems to overlook that I want to write down all my thoughts about: Kiri's role.
(Just FYI The High Ground comics are explicitly confirmed to be canon by Avatar's creative team, so please don't try to tell me something's not true because it happened in the comics)
With everything Neytiri has been through, it's understandable that she'd feel uncomfortable with Quaritch's son spending so much time around her children to the point where he starts calling them his "siblings." Contrary to what I've heard others say, Neytiri does not have a "blind hatred" towards Spider. She doesn't want him to be hurt or killed, she just wants him to stay away from her family and mind his own business. From her perspective, an "invader" is acting like he's entitled to being around her family and claiming them as his own, the same family that has been hurt so badly by other "invaders." This perceived entitlement coupled with the fact that he's the son of the guy who thought he was entitled to destroy her homeland is what gives her such strong feelings about Spider compared to the other Na'vi-allied humans.
But is Spider's behavior towards Neytiri's family really entitlement like Neytiri thinks or is it something else? Let's look at why Spider does the things he does:
Why does Spider spend so much time with the Sully kids? Kiri and Lo'ak invite him. From what we see in the movie and the comics, Kiri and Lo'ak don't seem to have any friends before meeting Tsireya and Rotxo, which means Spider is not just their best friend, but their only friend. There is nothing about Spider, Kiri, and Lo'ak's dynamic that implies Spider is the only one seeking them out. They mutually seek each others' company because they all feel like outcasts among their respective species.
Why does Spider call the Sully kids his siblings? Kiri started calling him her brother first. In vol 1 of THG, Kiri tells Spider he's like another brother to her. Shortly after this is when Spider starts referring to the Sully kids as his family. Since Spider has no biological family and a bad relationship with his foster family, it's understandable he would latch onto the people who actually care for him and explicitly say they feel like he's their family member.
Why does Spider insert himself into the Omaticaya? Kiri insists he joins them. in Vol 1 of THG, Spider is present for a Na'vi celebration and Neytiri asks him to leave because he's not a part of their family. Spider is perfectly okay with this and he starts to excuse himself, but Kiri stops him and insists he stay because he is a part of their family. Later, in Vol 2 of THG, the Sullies and the Omaticaya are evacuating to High Camp while Spider's foster family and most of the other humans choose to surrender to the RDA. Spider is initially upset and begs Jake to come with them, but after Jake scolds him, Spider accepts the adults' choice and willingly stays in Hell's Gate, waiting to surrender to the RDA. Kiri, on the other hand, insists Spider come with them to High Camp and goes back for him. This results in Kiri, Lo'ak, and Tuk getting captured by Spider's foster dad and Spider needing to rescue them. In both of these instances, when Spider is told he's unwelcome somewhere, he is okay with it and backs off, but Kiri is the one who fights for him to stay. The only instance where Spider insists he has a right to stay of his own volition is when Jake asks him to turn himself into the RDA soldiers hunting them after Spider helped the Sully kids escape his foster father. Since the RDA likely would've imprisoned, tortured, or even killed Spider for helping the valuable hostages escape, Spider's insistence he stay with the Sullies is completely understandable.
Why does Spider paint himself blue and emulate the Na'vi lifestyle? Kiri again. The only time we see Spider applying his stripes on screen, Kiri is right there helping him. From this we can assume that Kiri and possibly also Lo'ak regularly help Spider apply his stripes since he wouldn't be able to paint his back without help. And while we don't have exact information on when Spider started wearing a loincloth and behaving like a Na'vi, I think we can safely assume Kiri and her siblings are the ones who encouraged this behavior.
After analyzing the origins of what Neytiri perceives as "entitlement," it becomes clear it's not really entitlement at all. Spider never does something he has not been "invited" to do by Kiri or Lo'ak. Spider is not trying to cross any boundaries and he's not trying to hurt anyone; he's just a lonely orphan who has latched onto the only people who show him real care.
From Spider's perspective, Neytiri hates him for no reason other than his dad. In actuality, Neytiri's strong feelings aren't just about who is dad is, but moreso about the way he behaves on top of who his dad is. Neytiri doesn't have a "blind hatred" for him like Spider believes, but she has a deep trauma-rooted discomfort with his proximity to her family in the context of his heritage, and this discomfort makes her lash out at him. But of course Spider doesn't understand this because he's A. a teenage boy with limited emotional intelligence and B. has no reason to think there's anything wrong with his behavior because Kiri and Lo'ak encourage it so enthusiastically. With Spider's limited understanding, it makes sense that he chalks up Neytiri's behavior as "she hates me!"
So we have these two wildly different perspectives. Neytiri views Spider as an entitled invader and she doesn't understand why he can't just leave her family alone, and Spider views Neytiri as a cruel woman who judges him for his heritage and he can't understand why she can't just let him hang out with his "siblings" in peace. When these two different perspectives clash, it gets ugly, and leads to scenes like the time Neytiri lunged at Spider (to attack him? shake him? it's unclear) and Spider yelling at Neytiri and blaming her for his situation (which is really Quaritch's fault for making his postpartum mother fight).
Then we have Kiri's perspective. Kiri loves her mother and her best friend, but doesn't seem to understand why her mom doesn't want her best friend around and she also doesn't seem to understand why her best friend thinks her mom hates him. In vol 1 of THG, she even tells Spider that Neytiri loves him. Ironically, even though Kiri clearly wants her mom and her best friend to get along, she is inadvertently the source of most of their issues. In all the instances where Spider's behavior makes Neytiri upset, we can trace the behavior back to Kiri as outlined in the bullet points above. The more Kiri pushes for Spider to stay close, the more it triggers Neytiri trauma, the more Neytiri lashes out Spider, the more Spider thinks she hates him, and the closer Kiri gets to Spider to comfort him and try and prove him wrong. It's a vicious cycle.
And just to be clear, I'm not trying to say Kiri is at fault for Neytiri and Spider's relationship. Kiri and Spider are just kids with little understanding of the trauma Neytiri has been through. They just know they enjoy spending time with each other, and neither of them fully understand why it makes Neytiri so upset. Neytiri, on the other hand, is not a kid... she is not responsible for her trauma and for her negative feelings towards Spider, but she is responsible for her behavior towards him.
The one thing I don't understand is why neither Neytiri nor Jake nipped Kiri's behavior in the bud before it got to the point where it is now. If Kiri keeps calling Spider her brother and insisting he stay for family celebrations, and it's obviously very upsetting to Neytiri, why did neither of her parents sit her down and let her know its inappropriate? Spider was clearly okay with being left out of the events. If they'd talked about it with Kiri, they would've avoided all that strife in the first place. Hell, Spider wouldn't even be around them anymore because he would've surrendered to the RDA and lived in Bridgehead if not for Kiri insisting he come with them!
And actually, why didn't they stop the kids from spending so much time together in the first place? Neytiri was telling Jake she didn't like Spider around her kids since they were very little. Why did they continue to let them play together if it made her so uncomfortable? Was Jake letting it happen behind her back? Were the kids sneaking away to play with Spider? Did Neytiri let it happen because she thought they would grow out of it or something? At that age, parents have a lot of control over their kids lives, and I don't understand why Neytiri didn't just redirect her kids to play with anyone other than Spider if it upset her so much. In THG, Neytiri threatened to ban Spider from seeing Kiri, but she did it way too late. The kids were teenagers at that point and already saw each other as family, so if she tried to separate them they would've just snuck out and seen each other anyway. If Neytiri is okay with putting a "ban" on Spider, why did she wait until they were teens and much more difficult to control to do so?
I know the "real" answer is because James Cameron wants ✨DRAMA✨ but I'm wondering if there's an in-universe explanation cause it just doesn't make sense to me. I guess the most realistic answer is that Jake let it happen knowing full well Neytiri didn't like it, but he let it slide anyway because he didn't want to say no to the kids. Jake had two choices. He could've A. honored Neytiri's wishes and separated the children before they bonded or B. sat down with Neytiri and let her know Spider is here to stay and that she can't lash out at him. Either choice would've resulted in a much better outcome for everyone involved, but then again, it would've had a lot less drama so I understand why the writers didn't have that happen instead. Actually, now that I'm typing it out, it is pretty in character for Jake to ignore a giant problem right in front of him and hope it'll go away on it's own (that's how we lost Hometree, Eytukan, and Neteyam rip). I guess we're going to see this situation blow up in Jake's face in Avatar 3, just like his other ignore-the-problem-and-hope-it-goes-away situations did. I just hope that this situation will have a better outcome for everyone involved.
It just frustrates me because I feel like all this could've been resolved years ago if Jake and Neytiri had sat Kiri and Spider down and had a discussion about boundaries, but there's too much bad blood between Neytiri and Spider for an easy resolution now...
Anyways, if you made it this far, thanks for reading, didn't mean to turn this into a whole essay lol. Please share your thoughts with me if you have any!
#spider socorro#neytiri sully#neytiri#miles spider socorro#neytiri te tskaha mo'at'ite#kiri sully#kiri te suli kìreysì'ite#avatar the way of water#jake sully#lo'ak sully#lo'ak te suli tsyeyk'itan#writing down my thoughts
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Some. Sort of spectrum. From most likely to least likely.
And by kitten-pile I mean This
I'll put a transcript under cut for easier reading! 🫡
How Likely Are They to Kitten Pile?
__
Mirabilis: "are you tired..? do you need a break...? ohh we could take one together..."
If she likes/trusts you even a little, she wants to cuddle about it!!!
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Sharena and Peony: "Okay! 💖 Yay! 💖"
Shari: The only thing stopping her is social conventions -- making her MORE likely to jump at the opportunity!
Peony: Learning social awareness as she goes, and is surprisingly good at it?
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Triandra: "Aren't we a bit old for that...? But... even so..."
Embarrassed, conflicted, but feels strangely nostalgic at the notion...
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Plumeria: "I'm not so petal-soft that I'd resort to such INDECENCY, I mean even if your intentions are Pure USE YOUR HEADS YOU FOOLS!! Girl, the IMPLICATIONS!!!"
Desperately wants to join the kitten-pile, but her Issues and Pride gets in the way.
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Moe: "aw, so cutes!"
Generally touch adverse, extremely picky even with the people it likes/loves -- everything is entirely on its terms.
#fire emblem#feh#STILL. DRAFTING. IT FEELS LIKE. concetualizing. ect.#but this vision was So Strong. and is honestly Such a way to parse each out.#like... mira craves warmth and comfort... i think she esp likes cuddling w peony bc it feels like a mother's touch#esp the discrepancy in body types i'm going w here. i really wanna draw them together actually...#meanwhile LONG. LONG STANDING HC. about sharena being v physically affectionate even touch starved#and having to learn boundaries the hard way. i also think a huge difference between her and peony actually#is that peony always had someone to cuddle with (mira!!). so peony never had to 'outgrow' it the way shari had to#which may have led to peony being a little more adjusted actually??? i also am v much playing w the idea#that peony is like min maxed. she's surprisingly socially aware/emotionally intelligent#BUT. she still has huge blind spots due to her seclusion and mostly only interacting w kid mortals (in the dream realm)#and i esp think she fails to see the complexity in situations. ect ect#triandra. boy do i have lore about triandra. but you can take a guess. i'll leave that up to you.#AND PLUMERIA. OH MY GOD PLUMERIA. i can just TELL she's going to be an EXTREMELY FUN chara to write#she basically writes herself. looking deeper beyond the obvious sex repulsion/intimacy issues#she's a stubborn jaded 'too cool for this' older sister. who is WAY more protective than she will Ever Admit.#LIKE... I AM THINKING ESP HOW SHE TREATED MIRA IN THAT TT SIDE STORY.#the way she was looking out for her. tri is absolutely plum's most trusted confidant and therefore#the person she's most vulnerable with. but even then. she's still protective of mira and i bet even peony if she had trouble#(granting. they're on the same side). AUGH AND ALSO THE WAY PLUM IS STUCK IN HER WAYS TOO....#I DON'T HAVE COHERENT THOUGHTS. but the way plumeria Is just resonates so deeply w me...#mirabilis#sharena#fe peony#fe triandra#fe plumeria#moe tag#summoner oc#my art
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i think its funny that there’s people out there that get mad when you suggest that Light Yagami is ace and not gay, like i’m sorry y’all want him to fuck L so badly but even a gay boy would pretend to jerk off to bikini girl magazines.
#death note#yall see someone say a character doesnt fuck and yall shit your pants. even if it about a character who doesn’t fuck. like light yagami.#he shows absolutely no interest in sex or romance#the sole reason he keeps misa around. outside of being someone he can easily manipulate#is so he can have the social coverage of a girlfriend.#he keeps her around for this even after he lost his memory. clearly he wants the social convenience of a gf.#she doesn’t even ask for sex from him. she teases it but knows he won’t.#dont bitch to me how this is a gay thing i know it is but guess what? its also smth asexuals do bc queer experiences arent stratified#idk why would L want to fuck him either. i bet Light is like. a lab rat to him.#he IS still a faggot however. he’s a prime example of how an asexual can be a faggot#the lawlight train shouldve been stopped like 13 years ago its the shit teenagers like and shouldve been grown out by now#txt
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...
#its crazy how much easier it is to do things when youre not completely miserable lol#this past week has been weird bc ive felt really really good and like normal in a way thats kinds unfathomable#im hoping its the medication but my mood was already on an upward tilt and i was told it would take like 6 weeks for the meds to work#property but like ive been sleeping way more than usual. and by that i literally just mean 8hrs a night lol which is weird for me#like that never ever ever happens multiple days in a row. so idk. when i feel better it makes the 0cd way easier to manage as well#and im just generally not as anxious. on the more worrisome side i kinda just give less of a fuck so like i have an exam im not ready for#Tuesday and im just kinda like hm fuck that lol. ill go thru lil fluctuations of having a lot of energy too#like: i could run around in circles rn. i dont have to but i could. like yesterday i was out with friends and i was like bouncing up and#down while standing and rocking from side to side while sitting. which i kinda do anyway while in crowds but it was more to expend energy#last night i also got like 5hrs of sleep. so like maaaaybe ive been on the bleeding edge of mood elevation but for the most part it just#feels good and not destructive. like if i felt like this all the time that would b fantastic. its like oh so this is y ppl dont long to b#put out of their misery lol. depression? who? i dont kno her. sounds fake. but as soon as i fucking say that ill b fucking slapped back#down to earth. ugh. annoying. no emotional object permanence. i hope its the meds. if this is the person i am under layers of misery then#that is fucking so insane. we shall see. im curious to hear what the psychiatrist thinks of my brain when i follow up with her#i gave her my full dys1exia assessment which gives a pretty good picture of how my head functions. oh fuck i bet i would do waaaayyy better#on thise test if i took it in this state of mind. but anyway she has that on top of like 3 assessment sheets i filled out#dispite everything i still want someone to categorize me into a discreet box. tell me doc. am i really bip0lar? really really?#ur sure??? like 1000% sure bc my brain wont let me accept that unless its beyond a reasonable doubt. i just doesn't seem that serious.#i mean. it is but like ya kno. its not that bad. ay. this glob of mush behind my eyes runs me in circles#but for now thats ok bc i feel like i could run up a mountain or punch someone in the face lol#unrelated
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"yuri lowell is a manly heterosexual"
yuri lowell:
#DCB Comments#keeping this off my tales blog/out of tags bc i know the heteronormatives will come for me LOL#with their heteronormative v3speria dub (yes the dub actually altered/watered down#his relationship with a man probably bc it was too undertoney for them and western media is allergic to that)#not pictured in this post: the way yuri is used in official artwork with other tales characters#and is often surrounded by men. or the comic of him admitting he's popular with guys#also not pictured: the way yuri's alts for gacha games often feature flynn's color coding#and/or both of their color coding mixed into his outfit or accessories#also not pictured: the way yuri's wedding outfit alt is flynn color coded#also not pictured: the way yuri's bouquet in the other picture of his first outfit on this post#is almost identical to flynn's ''joke weapon'' bouquet of roses in the game#also not pictured: the entire gacha game of rays (that's based off respective game canon). i can't explain that to you in just tags#also yes yuri has a metal corset in that fourth picture. i don't... know many men who wear a corset#and the only other one i know in this franchise is in fact also the other main m/m pairing in the franchise#i also don't know many manly straight men who the character designers dress and style like this#i just want you all to know. if you're looking for a non heteronormative man. yuri has you covered#just maybe not so much in the dub just ignore that LOL. also worth mentioning that#japan gets a L O T of extra yuri material thanks to gachas merch and other official side material#everything in this post is official artwork and the last one is from this year#it's merch up for pre-order for t@lfes so yes they're still playing with his hair LOL#and yes if you ever pick up his game i am here to advertise to you not to play the dub (even tho the text will still sometimes be wrong...)#i am in fact writing giant lengthy posts abt it on my tales blog so i will not explain to you here in these tags#but the dub sapped yuri of so much emotion to make him seem cool and edgy and more of a troll#instead of playful fun and silly and just a dork but who is emotional when it matters#woe is them to let yuri's voice shake with heartbreak when he's worried abt a man!#i bet the localizers didn't even realize the entire opening theme song was abt yuri and another man and their relationship#maybe one day i'll make a fun post with all of flynn's color coding slapped all over yuri#also i BET there's someone out there who will see this and be like ''she's reaching''#yeah i guess the official gacha game is reaching then too with how it treats yuri and flynn the same as the franchise's canon het pairs
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Shakes the bars of my cage I need to draw soooo bad I need to draw I need to draw let me draw I have to draw I need to draw I must draw (<- has been too sick to be on electronics much and doesn't like doing traditional art)
#rat rambles#Im starting to feel better tho Im betting within a day or two Ill have made a full recovery#but I just have so many things I wanna draw all the sudden and its killing me#its because I've been thinking abt ocs again and that gives me a lot more options lol#in particular I've been thinking abt marci and toon more again recently#its just the two of them flirting in their mutual workplace environment with toon being dead serious and marci doing it ironically#the main thing is that marci was rly under the impression that toon like. hated her and was taunting her since they're friends with loonie#who long story short is marci's ex childhood best friend who she fell out with after the death of loonie's mom#the two are not on good terms in the slightest and marci knows very well that loonie would want her dead if she had been more honest#so as toon starts to like get more casual and like genuine with marci as the two spend more time together marci warms up somewhat but still#doesn't rly see toon as a friendly figure until they take her out to a museum and marci kind of snaps a bit and asks toon to stop beating#around the bush and is caught off guard when toon seems genuinely kind of hurt and meekly explains that they were just trying to help her#because she had seemed rly stressed and sad all the time and they thought that their lil dates had been helping her relax a bit#that confrontation left marci initially feeling confused but after the initial shock she was mostly left with a sense of dread and guilt#partially because she had just snapped at someone who she had grown to care abt for no reason and partially because she now felt that she#was hiding stuff from toon that would cause them to change their mind on her immediately if they knew#aka that she and loonie are divorced and that she thinks its mom sucked absolute ass (which she did)#oh and also that she used to have a crush on the guy that killed its mom who was also his mom which is also the reason she hates said mom#said mom treated him (aka midas) like shit and tried to get him killed several times#so when all hell broke loose marci at the end ended up mourning midas much more than his mom who everyone else was mourning#including loonie since it actually had a very positive relationship with its mom and a very distant relationship from its siblings#now marci never admitted all of this to anyone but she did act on those feelings to eventually lash out at loonie causing a huge fight#basically she yelled at it for being pushy and clingy and forcing her into a job she didnt want and expecting her to solve all its problems#the two dont necessarily hate eachother but they definitely heavily resent eachother#they still often long for eachothers companionship but not nearly enough for either to wanna make ammends#so toon quite liking both of them causes some internal conflict for the both of them#loonie is fully aware that toon has a big ol crush on marci but doesnt stop them from being friends with her even if it makes it sad#and marci rly wishes that toon wasnt friends with loonie but feels guilty for feeling that way#its a complicated situation and one that rly isn't helped by the fact that one of the three has the dead god queen mom#loonie could get away with a Lot and everyone knows it
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i actually do kinda like delivering groceries on the side because it gives me such a unique cross-section of the community. i never know whose groceries im shopping for until i finish the delivery and see them/their home and it's like it adds more detail to the picture of who they are. the baby supplies going to the apartment that i know for a fact is one bedroom (they'll be moving soon - i bet they're apartment hunting, i hope they find a place). the new cat litter box, bowl, and kitten food going to the house covered in "i <3 my dog" paraphernalia (a kitten definitely showed up on the porch recently and made itself at home). the fairly healthy boring grocery order that includes an incongruous tub of candy-filled ice cream going to the home of an elderly woman with toddler toys in the yard (it's clearly for her grandkids, whom she sees often).
shopping for someone else's groceries is a fairly intimate thing. i've bought condoms and pregnancy tests, allergy medicine and nyquil, baby benadryl and teething gel, a huge pile of veggies paired with an equally huge pile of junk food, tampons and shampoo and closet organizers and ant traps and deodorizing shoe inserts and a million other little things that tell a million different stories in their endless combinations. one time someone had me buy one single green bean. i messaged them to confirm that's actually what they wanted, and they said yes - neither of them liked green beans very much, but they had a baby they were introducing to solid foods, and they wanted to let him try one to see if he liked them. another time i had someone request 50 fresh roma tomatoes - not for a restaurant, but for a person in an apartment. the kitchen behind them smelled like basil and garlic when they opened the door. another time i brought groceries to three elderly blind women who share a house. that was one of the few times i have ever broken my rule and gone inside a place i've delivered to, because they asked if i could place the grocery bags in a specific location in the kitchen for them to work on unloading and there was no way i was going to refuse helping.
i gripe about the poor tippers, but people can also be incredibly kind. one time i took shelter from a sudden vicious hailstorm inside an older lady's home in a trailer park, while i was in the middle of delivering her groceries. we both huddled just inside the door, watching in shock as golf-ball-sized hail swept through for about five minutes and then disappeared. she handed me an extra $10 bill on my way out the door.
when covid was at its deadliest, people would leave extra (often lysol-scented) cash tips and thank-you notes for me taped to the door or partially under the mat. i especially loved the clearly kid-drawn thank you notes with marker renderings of blobby people in masks, or trees, or rainbows. in summer of 2020 i delivered to a nice older couple who lived outside of town in the hills, and they insisted i take a huge double handful of extra disposable gloves and masks to wear while shopping - those were hard to find in stores at the time, but they wanted me to have some of their supply and wouldn't take no for an answer.
anyway. all this to say people are mostly good, or at least trying to be, despite my complaints.
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GOJO SATORU: ❛❛ FINDERS KEEPERS, LOSERS WEEPERS! ❜❜
.ೃ࿐ streamer!au: the user "gojoslittleslut" tries to make a move on your boyfriend, but she doesn't stand a chance
contents: fem!reader. it's not too serious, nobody gets angry/jealous (except the comments lol). if u haven't already read the other streamer!gojo works u probably should so u understand the dynamic between satoru and his commenters !
author's note: reader is actually a mature person who doesn't pick fights with random ppl on the internet and i think we should all be more like her ꨄ︎
satoru leans back in his chair, idly chatting with people who pop up in his comments after he finishes his last round of the co-op game. his viewers are eager to chat, and some even shoot money satoru's way to draw his attention. whenever someone donates money, he gives them a quick shoutout and has a small back-and-forth with them, and he does that for everyone.
that is, until a user with a questionable username donates to his stream.
gojoslittleslut has donated $100.00!
gojoslittleslut: notice me pls
"shit, a hundred dollars?" satoru says, raising his eyebrows in mild surprise. "thanks, gojoslittl— oh, fuck, what is that?"
you look up from your laptop and see the way your boyfriend's cheeks have gone bright red. satoru laughs a bit nervously, so you get up and walk over, making sure to stay out of sight of the camera. you sit on satoru's desk beside his computer and peer at his screen curiously.
gojoslittleslut: im ur number one fan~
satoru's eyes flicker to yours for a second before he looks back at his monitor. "ah, well, thanks for the donation!" he replies, completely ignoring the user's advances.
suguru-geto: he has a gf ...
gojoslittleslut: yeah
gojoslittleslut: me
you cover your mouth to suppress a giggle, scrunching up your nose at satoru to let him know that you really weren't taking it too seriously. after all, it's just some random person on the internet—they don't stand a chance with your boyfriend.
satoru reaches over and takes your hand, twining his fingers with yours off-camera. he ignores the sudden burst of comments that litter the corner of his screen, instead watching you intently. in response, you roll your eyes playfully and blow him a kiss, snickering when satoru pretends to faint.
eventually, he turns back to his screen, cerulean eyes doing a quick once-over of his new comments.
toji-fushiguro: ill take his gf any day
inumaki: we know gtfo
gojoslittleslut: toji i get gojo and u take his girl. deal?
toji-fushiguro: bet
"alright guys, settle down," satoru huffs, rolling his eyes. "for the record, i still have a girlfriend and i don't plan on changing that anytime soon," he clarifies, addressing the current feud going on in his comments.
satoru's a good streamer—he does his best to keep things cordial and lighthearted with his audience, but he also knows his limits. one of his limits involves people trying to separate you and him, his one true pairing (of course satoru's otp is his own relationship).
your boyfriend leans closer to the screen and scowls good-naturedly, holding up the hand still wrapped around yours. "this isn't gonna change, so don't even think about it!"
satoru says his goodbyes and then ends the stream, turning to you with a sigh. "how down bad do you have to be to name yourself 'gojo's little slut?'" he grumbles, clicking through his stream analytics and finding the user. he opens gojoslittleslut's profile and studies it for a moment before hovering his mouse over the block button.
he leans back in his chair and tilting his chin up at you. "she just gave me a hundred dollars, so i kinda feel bad about blocking her," satoru muses, tapping his foot on the floor. he looks up at where you still sit on his desk, twirling a strand of hair around your finger. "c'mere," he mumbles, slipping his hands around your waist and hoisting you into his lap with a soft grunt.
satoru rests his chin on your shoulder and nudges his face into your neck, breath tickling your skin. "you know that i'm all yours, right?"
"of course i do," you murmur, settling into his arms. he's warm and comfortable, like always. satoru smiles warmly and kisses the side of your face, letting his lips linger.
"good. 'cause no fan account's ever gonna change that."
#osaemu#streamer!gojo#gojo x reader#satoru gojo x reader#jjk x reader#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo x y/n#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo fluff#jjk fluff#satoru gojo fluff#gojo satoru fluff#jujutsu kaisen fluff#gojo drabbles#jjk drabbles
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I said "I love you."
you say nothing back
Falling in love with Gojo Satoru was as easy as reading the pages of your favorite book, not until you reached the very end of the chapter and the author just loves to twist the story.
contents: it was all a bet trope, angst lol, fluff, hurt!gojo, groveling, satoru gojo x fem!reader, college AU, playboy!gojo, comfort
credits to @/toOOfu for the art above!! ^^
***
September 1, 2023
"She looks like an easy target," Satoru chuckled as he watched you walk over to your friend, Utahime Iori, in the school cafeteria. It was one of those days when he would joke with Suguru and Shoko, with Suguru always making sure Satoru gets riled up by his joke.
Suguru simply told Satoru that girls may swoon over him, but he's sure that they're some others who probably would find him annoying, someone like you. That statement made Satoru cocky, and as prideful as he was, he made it into a bet that he'll make sure to make you fall in love with him by the end of December, enough time to swoon you over.
"We'll see about that, Satoru." Suguru smirked. "The end of December, you say?"
The latter nodded his head, a wide and annoying grin on his face. "Watch and you'll see, Suguru."
The catch? Nothing, just plain fun and feeding his ego.
"Satoru!" Oh, and here comes one of his girls. His flings.
September 2, 2023
Satoru wastes no time. The next day after making their bet, he quickly made advances towards you. After seeing you in the lockers first thing in the morning, he walked over and leaned to the locker right next to yours. And when you turned, you found him there with a smirk on his face.
"Hey, darling..." He said, almost seductively, if not only for the furrowed eyebrows in your face.
"Excuse me, who are you?" Your soft voice echoed in his head.
Now that hurts his ego. Satoru Gojo. Gojo Satoru. The handsome Satoru. The greatest. The flirt. The smartest. The playboy. The Gojo Satoru. The damn Gojo Satoru who you didn't even know who.
His mind was floating elsewhere after hearing your question. As unbelievable as it may sound, you were, unfortunately, serious about not knowing him. And guessing by the look in your face, he definitely was not making a good first impression.
First attempt: Failed.
But he's not the Gojo Satoru for nothing. No, he won't give up just yet.
So he straightened his composure, faking a cough as he flashes his smile that makes all his girls go crazy, and lowers his head to show you his ocean blue eyes underneath his glasses.
He definitely made sure you won't forget his name as he asks forces you to walk you into class, blabbering nonsense by your side.
You were just too nice to tell him to go away.
September 16, 2023
Gojo Satoru was persistent. Walking you to class, even waiting for you outside the door when he was vacant, disturbing your quiet study session at the library, sitting with you at the cafeteria table when Shoko or Suguru was not there. You definitely didn't forget his name this time as he became the annoying Gojo Satoru who's becoming a nuisance to your somewhat quiet life turned into a roller coaster.
During those days, Gojo found out things about you. You were studying at the architecture department, you like arts and coffees as for what he noticed when you were at the library, you were at the top of your class, and you have a few admirers that you turned down in a nice way possible, just like how you were turning him down too.
He also took note of the fact that you were introverted, and a little shy with people so he might just go easy on you. You had a soft voice, however, you weren't as innocent as you came out to be. You are honest with your words, so when you say you're not interested in him, then you're truly not.
You weren't an easy target after all. But Gojo Satoru loved the thrill, you challenged him so much that he wasn't about to give up now that you intrigued him. He wanted to prove to himself that he can get anyone, he can have whatever he wants, and he definitely will.
"It's raining, it won't hurt to get in my car, princess." He said nearly in your ears. You pushed his face away with a look of disgust.
"No way, Gojo. You probably took so many girls in there already, and how can I be so sure you won't do anything bad?" You frowned at him, shoving his chest away as you stand outside the doors of your building, waiting for the rain to stop. You were angry, but damn you can't even raise your voice at him.
Soft. Too damn soft. Can he break you?
Through the days that he came by to woo you, it didn't matter anymore what words came out of your mouth. People may see you as the shy type of girl, but you're not afraid to voice out your opinion, and your somewhat intimidating face speaks a lot for you.
"Jealous?" He laughed when you glared at him. "Princess, I can assure you I haven't taken anyone inside my car. Plus, I can even buy a new one exclusively just for you if it bothers you too much." He grinned, annoyingly.
You gave him a moment of silence, and that sparked a new hope in Satoru's ego that you might be considering his offer now.
"Well... no."
Oh.
But he could only smirk, assuming you were only playing hard to get. Girls always liked when boys chase after them, no?
"I'll walk you home then."
You shot daggers at his back as he ran to his car, and came back with an umbrella. His shirt got a bit soaked, hair a little wet after running to the car, but damn, he still got that annoying smirk on his face.
You sighed, how annoying.
September 29, 2023
He never gave up despite how you rejected him multiple times. He stuck by your side even though you don't want him to, and he was somehow getting into your system. He carries your bag when he walks you to class, or just about anywhere, and you didn't even give your bag to him—he practically forced you. He'd buy you coffee in the morning, making sure he gets the right order, and when you give money to pay, he'd refuse and shove the money back in your wallet. Sometimes, he'd give you sweets even if you don't ask him to, giving you the flavors that he likes the most.
Funny how you can't even get him to stop whatever he's trying to do. No man has ever pursued you like he does.
"Gojo–"
"That's Satoru for you, love." He cut you off with a playful smile. "Haven't I told you already?"
"Gojo." You repeated seriously. His eyes glinted with interest as he waited for your words. "Get lost, please."
How nice of you to say please.
He laughs. He had the audacity to laugh. "You know, you're really cute."
"Look," you sighed tiredly. "Whatever this is you're trying to do, stop. I'm not interested. If you want to get into my pants like you did to those other girls, that's not going to happen."
With one look at him, you snatched your bag from him and walked away with your heart beating loudly. Your face was heating up after saying each word, and never in your life have you turned someone down so harshly.
Satoru watched as you walked away. Sure, that hurt his pride, but he can't let his ego step on so easily.
He left you alone during the day, just giving you the space since he seemed to have pushed your buttons a bit. Plus, he was busy with basketball practice since his coach was already nagging him for not attending their training.
However, your assumptions were only proved to be true when you caught him with a girl at the parking lot the same day. A cheerleader, stroking his chest as if she was comforting him as her other hands wiped his sweat with a towel. You looked at his physique, Satoru Gojo was in his basketball uniform, showing a lot of his biceps. You watched as his adam's apple protruding as he drank his water.
You felt annoyed. Your eyes turning red when you see just how he didn't mind the cheerleader. Of course, Gojo Satoru was a playboy.
Who cares? You definitely didn't.
That's what you thought.
You walked in the opposite direction, just so you wouldn't cross paths. But of course, Gojo Satoru will always see you. After all, he was at the parking lot waiting just for you, and only you.
"Wait up!" You heard his voice from behind, and you didn't even look back, thinking he wasn't calling out for you. You wished he was calling for you.
Satoru grabbed your wrist, and forced you to look at him. "Hey!"
Your brows furrowed, trying to yank your wrist away at his strong hold. "What do you want?"
"Woah... slow down." He said as he grasped your elbows with both hands. His eyes searched yours, his piercing blue eyes staring at the raging fire burning in your gaze. "What's wrong?"
You swear, your brows almost met each other at him. But you didn't want to burst. At least, not in front of him. "Go back to your cheerleader, Gojo." You frowned at him.
He observed you for a minute, then a small smile crept on his lips. Realizing just how much he's finally having an effect on you.
"Sorry," he chuckled.
"What?!" You almost shout at him in annoyance.
"I said, I'm sorry, princess." He repeated. "I didn't think of you as the jealous type. Plus, she was just helping me."
"Help you what? Wipe off your sweat? Since you don't have the hands to do it for yourself?" You glared at his annoying handsome face. "You playboy. I knew you were just trying to play with me." You said, pushing his chest with your pointer finger.
He pursed his lips as he caught your wrist, stopping you. "Now, now, don't think like that." He chuckled. "I'm sorry, I'll be sure to push those girls away so you won't be mad at me anymore."
And damn, he was true to his words. He didn't know what got into him, but he definitely started rejecting every girl that came his way. He didn't even feel sorry, and he even stopped calling those poor girls with sweet endearments as he rejected them.
Gojo Satoru was slowly starting to feel something for you. But he doesn't even know it just yet.
In a span of a month, he successfully got into your system.
October 6, 2023
"How's the deal going?" Suguru asked as they walked together to their class.
"Poor girl, I heard from people that she's nice." Shoko added, shaking her head at them. "Though people may see her as intimidating, they said she's really kind. A soft voice, and all that. Shouldn't you stop, Satoru?"
"Nah, I think I'm enjoying this." Satoru shrugged.
Of course, Satoru definitely felt something tugging at his heart. He definitely liked having you around, since you were giving just the right thrill to rile him up, he loved every rejection, and every attention you gave him. But somehow, he was feeling a little guilty. But he's too prideful to even admit that.
"Plus, she's friends with Utahime. That girl hates you a lot, Satoru." Shoko said. "You wouldn't want to hurt her best friend."
October 13, 2023
"Didn't I tell you to call me Satoru?" He raised his eyebrows at you as he accompanied you in the library, placing a coffee and a small cookie right next to your books.
"We're not friends, Gojo."
"Right, since you're going to be my girlfriend."
You shot him a look, sighing as you turned the pages of your book. "What do you want this time?"
"Nothing, I just wanted to spend time with my favorite person." He smiled, opening his books too. "I'll study with you. I promise, I'll be quiet."
You didn't respond to that, just expecting him to keep his words. And when he did stay silent like he promised, you were already thanking god for having to hear your prayers.
As the hours went by, you slowly fell asleep, your head resting in your arms as your books laid discarded. Satoru looked at you, a small smile crept on his face as he gently stroked your hair.
He stood up, organizing your books in a pile, taking your pencil case as he shoved your pens in them and putting it inside your bag, he got the empty cup of coffee that he got for you and threw it in the trash can, and he did it all so as to not wake you. He waited for a few hours, tenderly watching you doze off, before he tapped your shoulders to wake you up so he could take you home.
October 18, 2023
Maybe Satoru felt guilty now.
He twists and turns in his bed, thinking of you and how you put up with him everyday. And everything you do, never escape in his eyes as he finds himself memorizing you.
You'd smile at him nicely, despite how your eyes show how annoyed you were.
Your feet would tap the floor when you get too nervous.
You don't even know but you unconsciously hold a piece of fabric in his shirt when it gets too crowded, hiding behind him when there's a lot of people.
He notices how your hands move gracefully as you trace your art project, eyes furrowed and focus on getting your work done.
Truthfully, he adores your smiles. The way your eyes would squint every time your lips stretch in delight. He held your hands once at his attempt of flirting, and it was so soft that he couldn't even get himself to let go. He loved playing with your soft, silky hair whenever you fell asleep in the library, staying by your side until you woke up. He also loved your silence, the comforting atmosphere that you give off seems to calm something in his heart. When he manages to get a proper conversation with you, he just wants to melt every time he hears your sooting voice.
And nervously, he thinks he's starting to like you.
October 23, 2023
Slowly, Satoru became a part of your day. Somehow, he managed to finally be friends with you, and still, you refused to call him Satoru, indicating that you still cannot allow yourself to be casual with him.
That's fine. He can settle for whatever you can give him. For now.
"Baby, there's a basketball game coming up this Friday..." Satoru trailed off. You were almost going to point out his endearment, but then again, it's Satoru, and you were slowly getting used to him.
"What?" You asked. "So?"
"I bought you tickets so you can watch. It's two tickets, so you can bring your friend."
He didn't even ask if you wanted to, but then again, for a hundredth time, it's Satoru. He wanted you to watch his game, nonetheless.
And you did. Your seat being close to their benches so he can see you easily.
October 27, 2023
"Seriously? I'm about to watch our school's basketball game, because Gojo Satoru invited you?" Utahime said annoyed as you both sat at your assigned seats.
"Well... yes..." You said shyly, looking around at the amount of people in the stadium. "You know, we've been hanging out a lot–"
"I told you, he's bad news." Utahime cut you off. "How am I supposed to get that in your head?"
"I know, I know... But he's actually been nice. Haven't you notice?"
Utahime thought for a moment. Of course, she noticed some changes. Gojo Satoru seemed to be spending his time with you lately. He didn't even care about his ex flings, or his admirers, he was solely focused on you. Usually, Gojo would take a girl wrapped around his fingers in a day, and then disposing them just as quick after he got what he wanted. He looks like he's not like that to you, Utahime thought. Though, she hated his guts, Utahime knew you were enjoying having him around.
She sighed, "Just... don't get hurt, okay?"
You chuckled at her. "Why would I?"
After the game ended, with your school cheering loudly at winning, Utahime said she had to go home quickly, so you were left alone.
You didn't know what to do, or where to go. Satoru was busy with his teammates, talking and congratulating each other. Satoru wanted to go to you quickly, but his fans surrounded him, stopping him from going your way as they celebrated their victory.
Satoru knew too well that you didn't like the crowd, so he was trying hard to escape from it.
Your eyes watched as his fans congratulated him, asking for pictures, and even giving him gifts. You sighed, texting him that you'll be going home since he wasn't about to finish anytime soon.
You understood that he was famous, and all that. He's Satoru Gojo, after all. And it's another part of him that you're still not used to.
A part of you was proud of him. And you couldn't possibly be selfish about him, especially if you only recently got to know him.
Satoru hurriedly ran away from the crowd, excusing himself politely as he saw you walking through the exit doors. He got his bag, and ran to catch up to you.
Thanks to his long legs, and his intense basketball training, he was able to catch up to you quickly. "Hey!" He called.
You turned as you heard his voice, seeing his disheveled hair and sweaty forehead as he ran to you. "Gojo, hey, I texted you and–"
"Hey..." He greeted, panting heavily.
You pursed your lips, getting a handkerchief from your pocket so you can wipe the sweat off his face. "Why did you leave them? Everyone was celebrating with you."
"You weren't there." He frowned. "What's the point of it..."
Satoru was tired after the game, but he was regaining his strength once he saw you.
"Nonsense." You chuckled, in which he frowned even more.
"I'll take you home." He said as he holds your hand to his, leading you to his car. "I invited you anyway, it's my responsibility to take care of you."
You nodded, getting in his car since you had been tired from all the crowd.
When he reached your home, he quickly got off so he could open the door for you.
Oh, the little things that he does.
You both stand outside of your house awkwardly, both trying to find the right words to say. You looked away, tapping your feet nervously as Satoru watches you.
"Congratulations... Satoru."
Satoru... Satoru... Satoru... His name never felt so good until you said it. It was like an achievement, a big prize that he won in his life. And his heart was almost about to explode when you finally called him by his name.
Satoru almost stuttered thanks to you. Slowly, he was approaching you until your back leaned in his car.
He closed his eyes, as his head fell on your shoulders. "Say that again... please?"
"Huh?" You were confused, your face blushing at the proximity. "Congratulations?"
"No... say my name... please, baby?"
His voice was so soft, desperately asking you to say the words he longed to hear from you. Satoru felt weak in his knees.
He looked up at you finally, his eyes searching your soul. Despite the darkness of the night, his eyes were glowing brighter than the moon.
"Satoru?"
"Fuck..."
Satoru Gojo knew he's in danger.
The moment he locked eyes with your eyes, looking at them until it darted on your lips. Before he knew it, he was leaning down for a kiss.
And fuck it, just how dangerous it was that you weren't even pulling away.
October 28, 2023
You were confused when you saw Satoru at your front door the next morning, his hands holding a bouquet of flowers. He looked absolutely handsome in his shirt, his sleeves tucked until his elbow.
You blush when you remember what happened last night. "Satoru, what are you doing here? It's a Saturday."
"I know," he said, handing you the bouquet of tulips. "I missed you."
"H-huh?"
"Will you allow me to take you out on a date?"
His heart was at bliss when you said yes to him. It was a simple coffee shop date, but you felt so happy as he made sure you were also comfortable and having fun. Having casual talks with you, but this time, there was a lying affection between you two.
And when he took you home, he slowly sealed your lips in a kiss. Exploring your mouth gently, smiling as he pulled away.
October 30, 2023
Satoru finally told Suguru he wants to stop whatever game they started with each other.
"Just about time you do."
Satoru swears he felt his ears heat up when Suguru said those words with a teasing grin. Shoko was laughing at his flushed state, clapping her hands in delight.
"Ah! I knew it!" She exclaimed. "Knew you were going to fall on your own trap. Well, that's actually good."
Satoru blushed even more. Finally, he can admit that he was starting to like you. Love you even.
In all honesty, he felt like he couldn't even live without you in his life. He felt like every moment with you was precious, and he was desperate to make you his, seriously this time.
All those times that he accompanied you to class, were influenced by his own choice. He could've just left you alone some days, but he didn't even know he was doing all those things unintentionally. Buying you snacks, and your coffee, he could've easily stopped that after every rejection, but he chose not to.
Gojo Satoru wanted to always be a part of your day. He was already a part of your present, and he wants to be there in your past, and still be in your future.
November 3, 2023
Satoru, as usual, was eating lunch with you in the cafeteria. Everyone in the school knew by now that he was not entertaining anyone anymore, just you. And he made it that obvious, looking at you so lovingly everyone who passed by would've looked at you in envy.
"Why aren't you with Shoko and Suguru?" You asked as you take a sip of your coffee. You looked over to the table where his friends sat, both busy at whatever conversation they had.
"They don't mind." Satoru replied, scooting closer in your seat. "You should get used to it by now."
"To what?"
"Sitting with you during lunch." He smiled when you looked away. "I like being with you."
Your mind wandered off somewhere when he said that. Does he like you or does he like the company that you give?
November 10, 2023
Satoru was frowning at you when he saw you sitting with another guy in the library. At your usual spot, in his seat, in front of you. He was annoyed that someone even had the guts to make a move to you.
Slowly, with heavy steps, he approached your table, sitting at the vacant chair next to you. His hands wrapped itself between your waist, as his jealousy pulled him to kiss your cheek in front of your innocent classmate.
"Baby..." He whispered closely in your ear. "I was looking for you."
He looked in front to shoot daggers at the guy you were with. The innocent stranger blushed as he looked away, "Uh... I guess I'll see you tomorrow. I'll message you if I need help."
The guy hurried on his feet, stumbling as he exited the library. Satoru's arms tighten on your waist and you looked at his angry face.
"What's wrong with you?"
"Who is he and why is he going to message you?" A frown was evident in his face, and he was getting a little too close. You had never seen him this intimidated.
"That's my partner for a group project, idiot." You muttered the last word. "You scared him off."
Satoru pulled you close, nuzzling his nose against your temple. "It's annoying..."
"What's annoying?"
Satoru cursed under his breath, "Come on, I'll take you out to dinner."
But while he was driving, it was painfully silent. You're not used to this kind of mood, he was always playful and teasing, but now, he was glaring ahead at the car in front of him, as if the car did something wrong.
His knuckles were white on the steering wheel, and for some reason, you find yourself putting your hands above his, running circles on his tensed ones.
His hold loosened up a bit, and he sighed heavily.
"Tell me, what's wrong, Satoru."
Satoru pulled over to the side, facing you with a nervous face. "I'm sorry..."
"For what?"
"I was... jealous." He answered truthfully. He frowned, not liking the feeling twisting in his stomach. "I've never felt this before, baby. I want to keep you to myself, to always have you by my side and not anyone else, and it's so selfish that I hate myself for it. You're driving me crazy, and fuck it, I love you. I love you for making me like this. You don't understand... I'm head over heels–"
You interrupted him with a kiss. Satoru didn't even realize that he was already confessing, not until he felt your mouth against his.
It felt like there were fireworks exploding in your surroundings. Feels like he was finally breathing for the first time ever. Like the summer melting his winter.
"I love you too, Satoru."
He felt like dying right then and there, cupping your cheeks in a hungry kiss. Pulling you to his lap as you both make out in his car.
"Can I be your boyfriend?"
How can he be so cute, muttering those words weakly underneath you?
His question was not even a 'will you be my girlfriend' but a 'can i be your boyfriend?'
It was so cute. He was asking you your permission, he was asking to be yours.
He was... surrendering his heart to you.
And who were you to deny him?
November 20, 2023
You found out Gojo Satoru is a clingy man. It was obvious, the first time that he never left you alone, but this time, it only got worse, in a good way though.
He holds your hand when you're together, not even caring when girls would look at the two of you jealously. He doesn't care if a teacher sees him snuggling his face against your neck, he just wants to be that close to you. He will ask for a cuddle every time you two spend your time in your house. He would dart his tongue out teasingly at Shoko and Suguru when all of you sat at the same table, and he was hugging your waist and leaning his head on your shoulder. And when you two are in a private space, especially his car, he'd pull you in his lap for a long make out session.
You weren't even complaining, since you loved him just as much.
"Utahime!" You smiled when you saw your best friend in the cafeteria. "Haven't seen you in a while."
Utahime gave out a tired sigh. "I know, the professor is always giving out so many tasks, I might pass out anytime soon." She chuckled. "How are you? You and Gojo? He's like a lovesick puppy always sticking by your tail."
You chuckled. "That's so exaggerated, Utahime... But I'm really really happy."
Utahime was glad to hear her only best friend was this happy. She was thanking god that Gojo finally decided to be serious over a girl for once, and if he ever just breaks your heart, she'd be so sure to be the first to kick his ass.
December 4, 2023
"You're still with her?" Gojo's ex flings, Jia, asked him during his basketball training. Jia was the cheerleader girl that you saw him with in the parking lot, the fling that Satoru had for a month, longer than usual. He already rejected her, but she's still desperately trying to get with him.
"Of course, I am." He muttered, annoyingly. He snatched the towel that she was holding, her attempt to help him wipe his sweat. "Jia, I already told you–"
"Isn't she just a bet?"
Satoru froze, as if a bucket of ice was dropped all over his body. Her voice rang in his head, and he blinked furiously a few times.
"She's not–"
"But I heard you and Geto." Jia smirked, knowing she was just pushing the right buttons. "Come on, you were at the cafeteria, were you not expecting someone to hear you? I was pitying her when I saw the poor girl slowly starting to–"
"Whatever you heard, Jia, is none of your business." Satoru said in a cold-hearted tone. "I love her. Get that in that little brain of yours." He scoffed, walking away.
Jia was furious, her eyes turning black in anger. Oh, she wanted to hurt you. She was the last fling of Satoru, and just because of you, he was acting like this. She didn't like the fact that you easily stole him from her.
December 13, 2023
The fall. The breaking point.
Suguru was having a party in his house, a public year-end party with a few of his college friends and blockmates, everyone was invited to have fun. Satoru took you with him, making sure to just stay by your side so you won't get lost at the sea of people.
"How are you two holding up?" Suguru approached you two, handing a cup to Satoru. "You two having fun?"
You nodded your head quietly. "Yeah... there's a lot of people. Are they all from our university?"
"Some are outsiders," Suguru chuckled. "Satoru, we're about to play by the pool. We'll wait for you there."
Satoru nodded, pulling you by the waist as Suguru left. "You okay, baby? Do you want to go home?"
You shake your head, "No, no, it's fine. We can stay a bit more."
"Mhmm, just tell me if you get tired, okay?"
You two walked together to the backyard, where the swimming pool was at. It was a bit crowded, but definitely fewer than inside Suguru's house. Shoko was there, a few of Suguru's friends, and Satoru's basketball teammates. They were all passing out their drinks, mixing whatever liquor was there.
Everyone said hi to Satoru, even to you. You watched silently as a few of his friends talked to him.
"Satoru, I'll go to Shoko first." You whispered above the noise. He turned his head at you, stopping his conversation with his friends.
"What? I'll go with you then–"
"No, it's fine, Shoko's just there." You said, pointing at Shoko who was lighting a cigarette right next to Suguru. "Don't worry, I'll be fine."
Satoru nodded reluctantly as he let you approach Shoko and Suguru, turning back to his friends, glancing at you once in a while.
But when he wasn't looking, Jia just had the perfect timing to enter the scene, stopping you midway.
"Oh, it's Satoru's little toy." Jia slurred her words. You looked at her confused as she looked at you judging. "He's still not breaking up with you? He wants to hurt you that bad, huh?" She chuckled.
You were trying to assess her words. You recognized her as the cheerleader Satoru was with last time, and her aura and words were making you nervous. What was she trying to say? What did she mean by that?
Satoru saw you, and his breath hitch when he saw who you are with. He looked over at Shoko and Suguru, who both stood up to approach you, but Jia was already taking advantage of you being alone.
"Poor girl," she frowned teasingly. "I'm pretty sure Satoru didn't want to go too far with the bet."
"Bet?" Your voice came out hoarse. You looked over at Jia's shoulder, where Shoko and Suguru stood frozen in their spot, their eyes widened in horror, and it gave you just enough explanation about what's happening.
"Oh, they were just betting about how Satoru can make you fall in love 'til December." She laughed wickedly. "I'm sorry, honey, you had to find out this way, but really, I was feeling sorry that I have to tell you–"
Her words were cut short when you felt a hand on your wrist. And you turned to see Satoru, his eyes red and shaking, "Baby..."
"Satoru? Was that true?" You looked into his eyes, hopeful. Your eyes welled up in tears, and his silence just made it worse. His hold on you was trembling, and he couldn't even say the right words out of his mouth.
You looked at Suguru and Shoko, your eyes pleading. "Shoko? Suguru?"
Another silence. It's like something was pulling the strings of your heart, threatening to cut your lifeline. And it hurt so much when they couldn't even say something.
You heaved a gasp, trying to stop a sob to escape your lips. But you failed miserably as Satoru tried to pull you in his embrace. "Let me explain–"
You pushed him away furiously, eyes angrily glaring at him. "Explain? Explain what?! That what she said was true?!"
Satoru's hands balled in a fist, and he felt his eyes burning as you pushed him away from his touch. His heart aches when you look at him full of hatred, and hurt. He felt his world slowly crumbling apart when you ran away in a hurry.
You quickly called Utahime, asking her to pick you up as soon as possible. While Satoru stood there helpless, his feet glued to the ground. He looked at Suguru, his eyes searching for help.
All of you were equally shocked, and nervous.
"Fucking go after her, Satoru!" Shoko shouted as she pulled Jia's hair. "Fucking bitch!"
The latter cried, but Satoru couldn't care less as Suguru pushed him to move. As fast as he could, he ran outside the door of Suguru's house, walking past every dancing body, he didn't even care if he crashed into someone, he just wanted to get to you.
And when he found you walking by the sidewalk, his heart started crying at your panicked state. He approached you, holding your wrist to stop you from walking any further.
"Satoru!"
"Let's talk, please–"
"Let go of me!"
"Let's talk, baby. Let's talk this out." He pleaded desperately, hands grasping your shoulders to stop you from moving.
Your body trembled against him, hands covering your face as you tried to stop your tears from falling continuously. "I hate you."
"I know you do–"
"Fucking jerk."
"I know, I know–"
"Don't touch me!" You burst, pushing him away harshly. His heart crashed into pieces, his breath coming out shallow and slow. Just like you, he was crying just as bad. "I knew! I knew from the very start you were up to no good! Utahime warned me, my friends warned me! But fuck you! I thought you actually cared! I thought you loved–"
"I love you, baby..." He said, weakly.
"You lying skim! I thought you changed!"
"Please, baby, let's talk about this when we're not angry? Please?" He tried to reach out for you, but his heart felt like it was losing its strength when you back away.
"I don't want to see you–"
"N-no, you don't mean that..." His voice came out as a whisper, a desperate plea for you to listen to him. "I'll take you home, we'll talk, okay? I'll explain and–"
"There's no use, Gojo."
Cruel. How cruel of you to say his last name so coldly. It was a sign that Satoru refused to look at. A sign that you were tired, that you want to let this go already.
His beautiful blue eyes seemed to lose its life, the same way that he was losing you. One moment, you were there by his side, and now... you looked at him as if you wanted to get him out of your life.
And it hurt so bad. It hurt so bad when he tried to touch you, but you still furiously backed away.
"I love you." His voice cracked, looking at you weakly. His hands shake by his side, fighting the urge to reach out for you.
You breathed heavily, shaking your head at him as you said nothing back. You clenched your teeth, not wanting to let him hear your sobs. You're starting to pity yourself, of how stupid you had become. You should've listened to Utahime the first time.
December 14, 2023
Satoru had never felt this lifeless before. Even Shoko and Suguru couldn't help him as he refused to talk to any of them.
His eyes were searching for you everywhere in the cafeteria, but to his dismay, you never showed up the whole day, not even in your classes. He wanted to ask Utahime when he saw her walking down the hallways, but the girl only glared at him as she walked passed. And Gojo was just as helpless as ever.
He messaged and called you a few times, but you didn't answer. He wanted to go to your house, but he can't even find the courage to do it.
December 15, 2023
Satoru finally saw you after a day of absence. You looked tired, and he was mentally cursing at himself for making you like this. He was starting to hate himself, and he's not going to forgive himself anytime soon.
Satoru tried to approach you, but you didn't even dare look him in the eye. He bit his lower lip, trying his hardest to stabilize his breathing. Just like he usually does, he walks you to class, only a few steps behind this time.
Fine, he'll settle for this. He'll give you the space you needed first before anything else.
At the cafeteria, he didn't see you once again. That worried him as he left Shoko and Suguru to look for you. The first place he thought of was the library, and he was glad to see you there.
You glanced up from your book, feeling someone staring at you. And you were right as your eyes met with Satoru, and your heart ached as your brows furrowed at him.
You looked away, trying not to be affected.
All throughout the day, Satoru thought of you and your last interaction. Every time the memory flashed in his mind, he wanted to punch himself. Hurt himself twice as much.
He fucked up so bad, and he wanted to make it up to you.
So he finally had the courage to wait outside your classroom's door after his class, waiting for the professor to dismiss everyone. He didn't waste anymore time as he got by your side quickly when you walked out the door.
Your name rolled out his tongue slowly, and you stopped dead on your track.
"I'll t-take you home..." He stuttered, his eyes searching yours for any emotion. But your eyes were dead, not even a single anger, or love for him in there.
"I'm fine, Gojo. You can go away–"
"I'm not going away."
You turned to him furiously. It was like you two are back to square one, to the first time you two met, and no one should ever forget that Gojo Satoru was persistent. But this time, two hearts were breaking and in a need to mend.
"P-please, let's talk–"
You didn't respond as you walked away fast, but damn his legs for always being able to keep up with you. Despite how Satoru took the hint that you don't want to talk to him, he still didn't care. It didn't matter to Satoru if he couldn't take you home with his car, he'll walk with you instead, like how he used to.
He'll be quiet. He just wants to be with you.
December 16, 2023
You hated Saturday classes. And you hate it even more that Satoru Gojo was tailing you behind. Trying his best to get you to talk to him.
"Baby–"
"Don't call me that."
He coughed awkwardly, blinking his tears away. "You didn't eat lunch today again, let me take you–"
"Cut the crap, Gojo."
He gulped when you looked at him, with hatred in your eyes.
Maybe, just maybe he can settle for this. Look at him. Just look at him. At least look at him, even if you don't want to love him anymore. It's fine. He understands. Just look at him.
"Stop with the act already. I'm so tired of it. I'm so tired of you."
"I'm sorry..." He muttered against his breath. "But I can't. Not until you listen to me." Not until you take him back.
"There's nothing for you to explain anymore, Gojo. I've had enough, and I get it. I understand as bright as day that it was just a game–"
"It's fucking not." He gritted his teeth. As much as he didn't want to be harsh, he was so desperate in wanting you to lend your ears to him. "It wasn't a game for me. And I did love you. I fucking love you still. Yes, it was a bet at first, but I told Suguru that I wanted to stop. He knows just how much I love you. Shoko knows. Fucking everyone knows at this point. Why can't you just listen to me?"
He catches his breath as he finishes voicing out his words. But no, you were a little hard in the head. You wouldn't believe him that fast. You didn't want to hurt your heart again.
"I don't love you."
You didn't know what gave you the urge to say that. It wasn't really true, but the wrong words seem to be the only right words to cut it out.
If Satoru's heart is already breaking, he was sure it is now turning into ashes. You're a liar, he tried to convince himself. You love him, and he's not about to give up just yet.
December 18, 2023
You can hurt Satoru how much you want, but that will never stop him from loving and chasing after you.
Another frustrated sigh came out from you when he left a cookie on your table to your first class, with a note saying, 'I love you. Don't forget to eat.' with his name underneath and a heart. You didn't even know how he managed to put these on your table so early in the morning, and your heart just wants to surrender.
But no, you're not.
So, even if it comes out too heartless, you offered the cookie to the person next to you as you crumpled the note, throwing it away inside your bag so no one would see it.
During lunch, Satoru saw you at your usual table, and tried to sit with you. But you got up in a hurry, pulling Utahime who just got back from the bathroom with you.
Being angry at him is one thing, but avoiding him? No, he can't take that. He'd rather have you stay mad at him, scream and hurt him verbally, even slap him if you want, but giving him the cold shoulder was you telling him that he doesn't exist in your world anymore. Satoru's heart is barely living at this point.
Satoru cursed to himself, standing up and going back to Shoko and Suguru who looked at him with a sad smile.
"Give it time, Satoru."
But time doesn't seem to be on his side.
And fate doesn't get along with you on your most desperate days as you watched the rain poured down once again. It was like deja vu. Standing outside the building, waiting for the rain to stop so you can go home.
But the rain was falling a little too harsh, and you know it's not about to stop anytime soon. It was like the rain also had a turmoil within itself, crying heavily just the same way your heart did.
You hate yourself for always forgetting an umbrella as you take a step, lifting your bag to your head, as you let the rain soak your clothes. It's the last day of school today anyway, you're finally taking your Christmas vacation tomorrow, and it wouldn't hurt to get sick for a few days.
Unbeknownst to you, Satoru comes to the rescue at the right time.
He held an umbrella as he ran after you, being careful as he strides so he won't trip on his feet.
He called your name, stopping shortly when he finally got you under the umbrella and pulling you close by the waist.
"I'll take you home." He shouted above the rain.
Your body trembled in the cold, and Satoru was embracing you like he used to. He didn't even mind if you got his clothes wet. But you still have the guts to push him away. "No! I can go home by myself!"
"Stop being stubborn!" Despite holding you with one hand, his other hand holding the umbrella, he still managed to keep you on your feet, his hand squeezing your waist tightly.
"Gojo–"
"Stop it!"
"Let go of me!"
"You're going to get sick!"
"I don't fucking care!"
"No, I'll take you home–"
"Gojo Satoru!"
Satoru gave up as you writhed from his embrace. He dropped his umbrella, using both his hands to grab your waist, and kissing you in the rain.
His tongue was invading, seeking every corner of your mouth desperately. Fuck, he missed this. He missed you so much. And he didn't even care if the rain was slowly ruining his hair and clothes, as long as he had you right here in his arms.
It was a dangerous dance underneath the cold waters beneath the rain. Two lovers, hopelessly trying to heal their broken hearts. Their lips tangled together like it was their last chance to be like this again.
"Satoru..."
"I'll take you home..."
How did you let yourself become weak for him?
You handed him a towel as both of you entered your home. Despite how upset you are with him, you couldn't possibly just leave him wet by the rain and catch a cold. You were just being nice, you said to yourself. It's not because of your affection towards him, you're just being a helpful woman who still has a heart so you invited him into your house. Thats it, that's all there is, perhaps.
Before you can leave him, Satoru holds your hand, electrifying the two of you to stop you from your tracks. You tried to look at him in the eye, but it was impossible. Satoru doesn't even try to hide how much he's hurting in front of you, and that just doubles the pain that you're feeling right now.
"Let's talk..." He said weakly. "Please? I'm not leaving if we don't talk."
"Satoru, please, just let it go..."
"No," he shakes his head stubbornly. "You mean so much to me."
Your breath hitched as he pulled you close, cupping your cheeks with both hands as he leaned his forehead against yours.
"It's true, we did make a bet..." He closed his eyes, the words falling in his mouth felt like daggers shot straight to his heart. "And I hate myself for it. For being a prideful jerk who wanted to prove he can have whoever he wants, and hurting you in the process..."
Satoru breathed heavily, his hands rubbing circles on your cheek. "Before I knew it, I was down badly on my knees. I wanted you. I love you. I wanted to spend each and every waking moment with you. And I told Suguru, and Shoko, that I wanted to stop whatever game we agreed upon, so I can start loving you truthfully..."
"Satoru..."
"And I felt so alive, baby. When you told me you love me too, when you let me be your boyfriend, when you finally accepted my love for you. Fuck, I can die a happy man. I just... love you. I love being loved by you. I love it when you let me love you. I love it when you do nothing and it just drives me wild. I love it every time I see your eyes looking at me. I love hearing your voice, seeing you smile, and love it even more when you let me hold your hand! I love every single piece of your soul, and I want you. I want to always be with you. My heart aches for you, baby... please..."
He was crying. Oh, god, he was crying as he confessed everything to you. And you swear your heart wants to come out from your chest.
Your heart was swelling, he was mending your bruises, healing your scars in every word he uttered. Your tears were falling nonstop, and your hands quiver to place it above his.
"Satoru..." You sobbed, looking at his helpless blue eyes who'd been crying buckets as well. "I hate the fact that I love you so much."
Satoru heaved a gasp as he pulled you to his embrace, sealing you in a wet kiss. Somehow, it didn't even feel cold anymore now that you have your arms around him again.
His face settled on your neck, and he was catching his breath. He ran his hands in your hair, holding you tight as if he was afraid to let you go.
"Don't leave me again..."
"I won't. I promise." You let out a low chuckle. This time, you cupped his cheek so he could look at you. "I love you so much, Satoru. I'm so sorry for hurting you."
"I deserved it." He smiled. Finally, he was smiling at you. "And I love you more."
Satoru made sure he's not letting you escape this time. Everyday, he's going to make it up to you. He's going to tell you how much he loves you, and he's going to make sure you'll never even forget it until you fall asleep. He's going to love you like it's breathing, and he promised to himself he's going to love you until the next lifetime.
***
i know i said I'll do the part 2 of my Suguru fic, but im so sorry this was in my head for ages 😭 i promised ill start part 2 in a while... anyways, thanks for reading! its not proofread so im sorry for any typographical errors and spelling ^^
#gojo angst#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#gojo fluff#jujutsu gojo#jjk gojo#suguru geto#geto suguru#satorugojo#satoru gojo#jujutsu satoru#jjk satoru#gojou satoru x reader#shoko ieiri#jjk shoko#jujutsu kaisen shoko#jujutsu shoko#utahime iori#iori utahime#jjk utahime#jujutsu kaisen angst#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#jjk angst#jjk comfort#—taste of sky ☁️
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we never talk about it ☆ op81
genre: humor, angst, yearning, massive crushes, and lots and lots of miscommunication, assistant!reader
word count: 11k
It's unwise—longing for someone like Oscar. While he's the epitome of someone anyone can easily fall in love with, you're the epitome of a devoted girl who will fall in love with him. You might not even care too much about all the heartbreak you endure along the way.
inspired by this !
cherry here!... based on real events.
Do you remember the day we first met?
The wind doesn’t do its job in blocking him out, the way you prayed and wished it would. You’re still able to catch the crack in his voice—a distant reminder of the way it once made you giggle. Even his nose is beet red, matching the Christmas lights. But apart from all that, you still hear him. You still see him.
You always have.
“A little bit. Yeah.”
He flinches, then tries to play it off with a soft smile. Like he doesn’t want you to uncover the slight hurt he feels. But he can’t read your mind. He never could. And that was the problem.
Oscar nods, feigning indifference. “I do. Remember it all, I mean. Think back to it quite often."
-
It’s utterly useless to try and ignore him, really.
His hair is too fluffy, his eyes are too bright, and his accent is making you want to flaunt the way some loony character would with a hand over their heart. It was honestly a tad bit demeaning.
But you can't help it. You admire the way his brown locks fall in a lousy manner when he towers down to sign the contract. You blush when his eyes get that twinkle in them. And you swoon over almost anything he says with a shy smile.
“You’re drooling.”
Mortified, you briskly run the back of your hand against your mouth before sending a harsh glare. Lando snickers. “Would you please stop?”
His jaw drops, theatrically. “You’re not actually into him—are you?”
He says it with a trace of humor, but also shock, and you can't help but have your mouth run dry. A loose grin starts to expand across his lips as you hurriedly shake your head. “O-of course not. Are you crazy?”
But if anything, you feel crazy. You must be, right? With every passing second of your heart beating faster and faster against your chest simply just by looking at the young Australian, you’re sure you fall straight into the category like some love fool.
Lando squints his eyes. “I don’t know.” He leans in straight into your face, nearly hissing. “Am I?”
“Am I interrupting?”
Flinching hard, you turn quickly to face Anastasia. You’d initially met the black haired girl back in 2019. As you started off as the Brits personal assistant, she took over as Carlos’ and later also Daniel’s. Over the course of time, you two came to be as close as sisters.
“No! Not at all,” you squeak, nervously before pushing the McLaren driver away and patting towards the open chair next to you. She giggles, rolling her eyes and adjusting herself. “How was the flight over?”
A shrug. “As good as it can get. Sat next to a silver fox, so I guess that must count for something, no?” Lando shudders. She leans in closer, plopping her head against your shoulder. “What’d I miss?”
“Not much.” Only, that’s not true. She missed the way he laughed awkwardly when the doors wouldn’t slide open and let him into the headquarters. She missed the way he rolled his R’s a little too hard when saying ‘sorry’. She missed the way he grabbed the pen with a certain glow on his face, like he almost couldn’t believe any of this was happening. Lazy fingers pat her head gently once before sighing. “He seems nice.”
“How do you know?”
You know because of the way he talks to everyone. Like he cares about what they have to say. Whether it’s about how great his career is going to be here in McLaren or if they introduce their kids to him via FaceTime. He always wore the same smile, talked in the same warm tone. So, could your guess be far off? Yes. It could be completely far off. But you would bet money that it wasn’t.
“Just a wild hypothesis.”
Her laugh isn’t too loud, not ridiculously so, at least, but the fact that it echoes is what makes it appear as such. Anastasia is quick to slap her hand over her mouth, the Brit turns fast to face her with panic evident in his eyes, and you simply blink with a shade of red slowly creeping towards your cheekbones.
Zak grins. “You three.”
“Oh, we’re out,” Lando mumbles in monotone, already grabbing your wrist and dragging you to the exit. You follow numbly, like you don’t have any strength left in your body.
“You’re leaving me?” Anastasia hisses.
“She’s my assistant,” he says like a matter-of-fact. “Where I go, she goes.”
“Oh, you Judas—”
“All of you,” Zak clarifies, narrowing his eyes over to you and the Brit. You gulp.
With a soft curse, Anastasia stands up, tall and firm, and makes her way over with all the confidence in the world. You frown, craving to be the same way, even just a small percentage. Instead, you have to be forced by the McLaren driver.
With every step, your head just spins faster because now, he’s more than real. You can smell his cologne. You can count all the moles that cover his face if you really wanted to. You can spot how his hair is still a bit wet, indicating an early shower.
He’s just becoming— too real.
“Lando, buddy, meet your new teammate!”
“Nice to meet you,” the blue eyed boy declares with a loopy grin, letting go of your hand in order to shake his.
“Likewise.”
Zak claps once. “Oh! And meet your personal assistant, Anastasia.”
“Here for anything you might need,” she cheers with a bright smile.
“Fantastic.”
A wave of silence overlaps your four before Lando clears his throat. “And even though you might not be working with her one-on-one, this is my Anastasia.” A snicker. “My assistant, if you will.”
“Nice to meet you—”
“Nice to meet you—”
You both freeze, hands intertwined for a second longer before abruptly letting go. He lets out a dry laugh while you do the same. The way your skin tingles makes you blush.
“This is fun and all, but we actually have somewhere to be,” the Brit claims with a suspicious look slashed across his usual laid back expression. You nod. “But we’ll see each other soon, man. Can’t wait to race together!”
In a flash, you two are out the door, leaving a dumbfounded Oscar blinking slowly.
-
“He fucks with you.”
“Excuse me?”
Another bench press. “As in, he likes you. He’s into you.”
You don’t dare ask who he is because you already know who the Brit’s referring to and that would only inflate your ego. Snapping your fingers, you narrow your eyes. “Focus. Two more sets left to go.” He groans, flipping you off.
It would be a lie to say that this didn’t make your self-esteem skyrocket. Could he be right? Could someone like Oscar ever lay eyes on you? Somewhere in your dreams, you’d like to say yes. Yes. That is a possibility. But the longer you think about it, the more unrealistic it gets.
You don’t have what others do. And that itself is enough to pop the bubble.
-
The start of the season is always tough.
“He’s extremely nervous.”
For some more than others.
You frown. “Really? But he’s usually so…relaxed.”
Anastasia shrugs, hair falling over her shoulder as she continues typing. “I mean, I tried talking to him but with everything I said, he’d just reply—'that's nice’. It was sarcastic, if anything. I would have laughed if I didn’t feel for him. Poor boy.” Her fingers freeze mid-air. “Wait—do you think you could talk to him?”
“I’m not sure that’s a great idea—”
“Come on! Maybe it’ll help him ease his nerves!”
“Ana—”
“Please.”
You huff. “Okay. Fine. Yeah. I’ll see what I can do.”
As soon as you knock, you almost want to turn away. Maybe it was all an exaggeration. Plus, it’s not like he’s going to die from having butterflies in his stomach. Yeah, surely he’ll be fine and he doesn’t really even need you to—
“Come in.”
He wasn't expecting you, that much you can tell by the way his brows go up. But he’s quick to erase the confusion, settling with a fond expression. “Hey.”
“Hi,” you squeak before cringing at the sound. He chuckles, returning to his warm-up exercises. “How are you feeling?”
Another chuckle, this time amused. “Anastasia sent you, didn’t she?”
“What?” A beat. “No.”
He hums. “Tsk. I’m a bit nervous, that's all.”
You lick your lips, kicking your foot up against the doorframe. What could you possibly say that she hasn’t already? If she couldn’t ease him, then how can you? The thought of messing up and making it worse makes your stomach churn.
“You’re going to do g—”
“Great?” He sighs, blowing his cheeks. “That’s exactly what she said.”
“And what’s wrong with it? She’s only trying to help.”
“No. I know she is, but…” He looks down onto his lap, pausing all movements. “Look, I appreciate you both. What you’re trying to do for me, but I can’t stand hearing what others think I want to hear.”
“It doesn’t do it for you?”
His eyes grow slightly wide with the way you go about and ask. He’s never seen you be anything other than sweet and reserved. But this—right now—is stern and very coach-like. Something and someone you aren’t. Not even close.
“It doesn’t,” he admits, finally looking away. “Never liked it. Always sounds too forced.”
You nod, crossing your arms. “Fine. I can tell you the truth. I can be truthful.” He perks. “Oscar, you’re a terrific driver.” He groans, covering his face with his hands. “But just because you’re great doesn’t mean you’ll be great all the time.” The Australian frowns, uncovering and looking up at you with attentive eyes. “You’re going to mess up. You’re going to be second, or third, or sometimes even twentieth, but that doesn’t matter, you know why?”
“Why?”
“Because you signed that contract, so you sort of have to suck it up, either way.” He lets out a loud laugh. Very unlike him. A weak smile threatens to fall as you try your best to push it back. “There’s going to be bad races, but there’s also going to be very good races. It all depends on you and how hard you work. Sometimes you’ll have a good car, a good strat, and others you’ll have a shitbox and a bad strat. That’s just the way this sport works, okay?”
Oscar blinks slowly, as if trying to decipher who you are, and that itself makes you dizzy. “I-I-I don’t care if you’re nervous, I don’t care if you’re sure—all we care is that you drive that car, and that you try your best no matter what. Can you do that?”
It’s foreign. The feeling in his chest. He’s not used to hearing any of this. As of recently, everyones been texting him to say how great he’s going to be. How far he’ll go. And while he was grateful for having unconditional support, he also dreaded hearing it sometimes because he doesn’t even want to picture letting any of them down. He’ll act like he’s fine, he’ll act like he doesn’t care—but none of that would be true.
The brunette tilts his head to the side, slightly squinting. “I can. I can always try my best. Even if I fall short.”
“Good.” A beat. “We all believe in you. No matter what, okay?”
A timid smile. “I know…”
He ends up having to retire the car by lap fifteen, but the most astonishing part is that he’s not even upset. He tried his best. He listened to every single advice his engineer would alert him with. He practiced long hours in the stimulator.
This is just the way things go sometimes. Just like you said.
-
“I’m bored. Can I get a ten minute break or something?” Lando grimaces, rolling his wrist like it's the worst pain in the world.
You hum, fixing the signed hats back into the box. With eyes screwed, you shrug. “Fine. But only ten! I’m serious. We need to have this done by one.”
“Yes! Ten—got it.”
He doesn’t come back in ten. For the matter, he actually goes missing.
You narrow your eyes towards the clock, watching as it clicks like some mockery. You’re going to strangle him. You vow at that very moment that you’ll strangle the Brit as soon as you lay hands on him. With one final huff of desperation, you stand up, rubbing your eyes. People frolic through the paddock—you’re sure you even catch a glimpse of Lewis being papped—but that’s not what catches all of your attention.
Instead, you find yourself leaning against the rail, squinting down to where the man of the hour sits, microphones huddled all around him like some interrogation. Anastasia smiles politely, back straight, and voice-recorder in hand.
It’s faint—you almost can’t hear a thing—but it’s just enough.
How does it feel to be back home? Enjoying it, no?
Oscar hums, straight brows slightly furrowed due to the bright sun, but just one adjustment of his hat makes that all go away. “Feels good. I’m able to sleep in my own bed, so that’s pretty cool. And yes. It may be a bit biased, but I am enjoying my time here more than the last two races.” Everyone chuckles.
Can we talk about your expectations for this weekend?
You can see him pause, and from where you’re standing, the way his fingers drum against his chair. “Well, I, uh…I hope for a good car.” The joke is supposed to be there, but you can tell everyone was expecting more with the way they murmur to one another. You wince.
Will raises the microphone up to his lips, along with his hand in order to catch the brunette’s attention. “I’m sure there’s been lots of people reaching out to you since this is your first home race, but has there been someone’s advice that has stuck like no other?”
Oscar smiles gently. “There has been, actually.”
You freeze, gripping the steel bar with anticipation. Your knuckles nearly feel like they’re about to snap, and you feel like you’re probably leaning a bit too far over the edge to hear it all, but you don’t even care. Will chuckles. “If it’s not too much to ask, would you mind sharing with us all? I’m sure it’ll help a lot of youngsters watching.”
Anastasia slides the recorder closer. Oscar visibly swallows. “I’m not sure I can. I never asked her for permission to talk about it. And quite frankly, I’d like to keep it between us.”
Will perks up. “Her?”
The black-haired girl is quick to whisper into his ear, turning the opposite way so no one can even attempt to read her lips. He nods, eyes trained forward like some guard. “Any more questions?” But everyone’s intrigued at this point, so all the questions that follow remain the same. Something that makes Anastasia panic and Oscar regret his choice of words.
“Can we get a name?” some blurts out, nearly seeming desperate to get the inside scoop.
Only, his face remains still, jaw slacked. “No.”
Will raises his hand. “Very well, we don’t have any right to know, but are you willing to share a bit about what she said?”
And it’s almost as if the Australian can foresee that the only way to get out of this situation is by giving them what they want. Even if it’s a stupid little crumb. He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “She told me to try my best. That’s all I can really do.”
The mix of photographers and journalists deflate. “I-I’m sorry,” Lawrence Barretto slides in with a light tone and an ever lighter smile. “Don’t mean to lessen its meaning, but isn’t that a common thing to say? To hear?” An awkward laugh. “I mean, I just thought it’d be something a bit more…deep. Inspiring, perhaps.”
Blood rushes to your cheeks and you’re grateful to whatever God may exist that you’re not down there. On the other hand, Oscar is a bit bothered by the innocent comment, but then realizes he doesn't have to be. They weren’t there. They don’t know just how much more you said. How upfront you were with him without sounding condescending. Something most people did without even realizing.
The brown eyed boy spares a smile. “Like I said—some things I’d like to keep between her and I. And even if it was just that, it’s the way she said it.” A beat. “It’s quite a lavish thing to have. A sincere person to talk to, I mean.”
Will tilts his head suspiciously. “It appears she might be someone special to you, yes?”
The Australian freezes at the unwanted interpretation. Suddenly, the atmosphere is far too crowded. He lets out a forced chuckle, rolling his neck before messaging it gently. “Well, yes. I’d agree.”
A mix of giddiness and shock rushes through your veins as you refrain yourself from jumping up and down with excitement.
“You’d be lucky if you had her as a friend too.”
-
“Is everything okay?”
Biting down on the churro he had gifted you as an apology for not getting back on time, you growl. “Yes. Why wouldn’t it be?”
Lando raises a thick brow. “Dunno. Maybe the fact that you’re moping.”
Your jaw goes slack, immediately turning to face him. “I am not moping.”
The sound he lets out indicates he doesn’t quite believe you, but is choosing to let it go. Also, he doesn’t want to see your patience run out, too scared of what you might do. The curly haired driver plops down onto his bed that stands in his motorhome, closing his eyes. You nearly envy the indifference in him. The lack of worry.
“I can hear your teeth clenching. Gross.”
A grunt. “I’m gonna go grab a coffee. Need anything?”
“Only a nap. It’s a good thing you’ll be gone.” He turns over to his side, bringing your jacket over his face to block out any light. You bite the air, swinging silently for a minute or two before exiting the cramped room.
The sun hurts, you remember thinking, but the upcoming migraine you’re getting is even worse. You should be used to this by now, given you’ve suffered from them since elementary, but based on the way you zig zag without meaning to is enough proof to know that you’re not. Everyone's voices are suddenly muffled, even the sound of engines roaring is as soft as a feather. You wince, massaging your temples as if that might help.
Woah, are you feeling alright?
“I’m fine,” you respond meekly, to who even knows. You wave them off rudely. “I’ll be fine. Just. Leave me alone.”
Anastasia frowns, all while fanning your face. “No. You need to lay down.” She nudges the Australian, who up until now, you had no clue he had his arm clung around your waist. If you weren’t too busy feeling like shit, you’d definitely be making a fool out of yourself. Her green eyes fill up with worry. “I’m gonna go look for a paramedic.”
“You’re doing too much,” you slur, body letting loose and making the brunette shriek as he grips you harder, trying to keep you upright.
A deadpan expression. “Oscar, take her back to your motorhome and have her lay down.”
He nods, hesitantly. “Y-yeah, okay. Okay.” Once she runs off like a headless chicken, you let out a dramatic gag. Sharp brows knit together with horror. “Do I smell bad?”
A giggle. “No. As a matter of fact, you smell rich.”
With his arm still wrapped around you securely, and warm eyes flickering from to you back to see where he’s heading, he grins, eyes crinkling. “Rich? That just so happens to have a scent?”
You purse your lips, wincing at the fact that your peripheral vision has gone completely dark. “Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe I’m a terrific liar and I’m only stroking your ego for my benefit.”
Another chuckle. “Benefit? What benefit may that be?”
Tsk. “How else am I gonna get you to take me to bed?”
The Australian instantly chokes hard on a string of his own saliva, causing you to flinch at the loud sound. Loud to you, at least. He apologizes, but not before taking a glance down, like it’s the first time meeting you.
As soon as you lay down on the miniature mattress, you release a groan. Even just having your eyes closed makes you dizzy. You let out a loud groan, kicking your feet against the cushion in desperation.
“That bad?”
“That annoying.”
And even though you can’t see him, he nods, internally freaking out, trying to think of ways to help. “Does this happen to you often?”
“Yes.”
He nods, sheepishly. “W-what do you normally do? You know? To help?”
Tossing over to lay on your side, you pinch your eyes, grinding your molars. For a minute, you sort of thought your teeth might crack. Everything about this situation was becoming unbearable. “My mom, she, um…she’d normally braid my hair. It helped sometimes. Others it didn’t.” Messy hair dangles over your face as you let you out a loud exhale, as if you were in the middle of releasing some demon. “I moved too much, she said.”
Oscar smiles, coming across like a faint memory locked in the back of your mind. “I-I-I can try…” Loopy eyes flicker up to face him, and he’s quick to scrunch his nose. The sight alone makes you breathe easier, though he doesn’t know that. Of course he doesn’t. “Only if you want me to…”
“You know how?”
“Sort of? When I was younger, I used to sit across from my sisters at the breakfast table. I was bound to learn a thing or two.”
The subtle proud smile makes your heart beat flutter, smitten at the insight to his childhood. You wish you knew more. Like what was his favorite show? Did he have any imaginary friends, just like you did? Or maybe his favorite superhero? But you swallow all those questions down your throat as soon as he kneels down next to you. The whiff of soft musk distinctively adds to your headache, but you’re too focused on him for something as dumb as that to matter.
“Just…close your eyes.”
Taking one last glance at him, you comply, lashes fanning slowly before going completely dark. You can still hear him adjusting, you can feel him take your hair into his hands, but nothing makes you stop breathing like his touch that grazes your cheek.
It’s almost ghostlike—doesn’t really stay on the same spot for too long—but you know it’s real. Long fingers calmly push strands of hair behind your ear, tranquility expanding over your body. The slight tickle it causes helps ease your pounding migraine, little by little.
“Are my hands too cold?” he whispers, not trying to intrude, but at the same time, wanting to know. You twist, bottom lip jutting out. Not at all. Keep going. And he does. He ends up tangling your hair a bit, because as it turns out, he doesn’t remember much, but he’s sure to delicately fix his mess, brows drawn in with heavy concentration.
As soon as your hair is back to flowing free, he relaxes, wincing a bit at the pain in his knees. Your hair feels soft. Just what he would imagine a cloud would feel like. For a second, he begins to wonder, who’s this really for? He feels like this might be soothing him more than you.
Just then, his finger catches on a knot, and he freezes, stopping all movements. “Holy crap, I am so sorry, I—”
You let out a low whimper, but don’t do so much as bat an eye. You’re sound asleep. The brunette lets out a breath of relief, falling back to sit on the ground.
Your face is a bit squashed—and you’re drooling just a tad bit—but for some odd reason, he finds himself admiring. You’re full lips. You’re lashes. God, even the way you breathe. He feels a tender smile itching, but it never truly gets to see the light of day, because before he knows it, the door is swung wide open.
Anastasia stops dead in her tracks. “What happe—is she asleep?”
Oscar opens his mouth, then snaps it shut. He does this a couple of times, awkwardly turning to face you and his assistant, back and forth, back and forth. “She, um…just did. A minute ago.”
She pouts, scratching her head. “Weird. Usually when this happens it prolongs for at least ten minutes before it gets any better.” The green eyed girl sheepishly waves the group of paramedics away. A trail of sighs echo as they turn away. As soon as they’re gone, she gently shuts the door, then tippy toes towards the edge of the small bed. Neat brows furrow. “At least she’s feeling better, no?”
Brown eyes follow her gaze. “Yeah. At least.”
-
Lando ends up throwing—and according to him— “The World’s Coolest Jamboree”. You beg for him to call it anything but jamboree, but he’s too attached to it by the time he sends the last text invite, which so happens to be to the rookie driver.
“Has anyone RSVPed?” you question over his shoulder. He’s in the middle of mixing some mysterious liquid, but by the looks of it, doesn’t look any good. You grimace.
He lets out a bleh before dropping his utensils. “No one RSVPs these days. They either show up, or they don’t.”
A slow nod. “So, you don’t know who’s coming?”
“Not a clue. But most likely everyone.”
You scoff. “How are you so sure?”
He gives you an ‘are you kidding me?’ type glare before sending a sly grin. “First of all, it’s my party. They’d be crazy to miss out. And second of all…it’s only the biggest, funnest, coolest jamboree!”
“Funnest is not a word.”
“And party-poopers aren’t welcomed.” You gasp, smacking his chest harshly. He lets out a snicker, picking up a bag of ice and spilling it into the glass bowl. “But I’ll make an exception. Just this once.”
“Just this once,” you mimic before dipping your pinky in. He instantly slaps your hand away. Smacking your lips, you let out a yelp at the bitter taste. “This tastes like ass. God—not even Daniel will drink this, and that guy drinks anything in his way. I’m surprised he hasn’t been accidentally roofied.”
Lando claps his hands with amusement. “God forbid. And please, pay your respect to Lando’s Best Worst Decision.” A beat. “™.”
“™?” you deadpan. “What? Are you planning on adding a trademark to this sewage water?”
“It’s good, okay?” Mixing the clear liquid once more, he smiles fondly down at it. “And maybe. I’m seriously considering it.”
You sneer, already walking away.
He ends up being right. Not even an hour later, the party is in full swing. Sure, a couple drivers aren’t able to make it, but it’s still jammed packed. It's honestly a miracle to get through the Monaco flat.
You’re still sober?
Laughing, you nod, raising your water up in the air like some toast. Daniel frowns. “Considering I have to make sure my number one client doesn’t make any bad choices tonight, then nope. Can’t have a sip of alcohol.”
Brown eyes flutter slowly. “I’m sure there’s other beverage choices. Have you tried Lando’s Best Worst Decision?” He leans in, winking. “™.”
“Oh no. Don’t tell me you actually like it?” He shrugs and you shudder in disgust. “I’m sure I saw him add ten energy shots and God knows what else.”
“No wonder I feel kinda funky.” Your face drops. “Hey, if you pass out, can I crash tonight?”
“Daniel!” you groan, covering your face. “I swear, I’m going to spill that stupid drin—” Only, Daniel is gone. Craning your head, you circle the room. From where you stand, you’re able to see Carlos and Lando taking part in a heated round of pool, all while Charles sways back and forth, infamous red cup in hand.
Marching over to the kitchen island, you pick up the glass bowl and carry it over to the sink before tipping it over. You huff, hair fanning across your nose.
“Stupid, stupid boys—”
“Hey.”
You shriek, dropping the bowl, and wincing at the sound of glass shattering.
Oscar grimaces. “Shit. Sorry. Are you hurt?”
“No.” You sigh. “Lando’s gonna kill me.”
Grabbing the nearby broom, the Australian sweeps carefully while knitting his brows. “Why?”
“It’s a family heirloom.”
“A glass bowl?”
You giggle. “I wonder why too.”
Despite the blaring music, and constant chattering, the room feels rather silent. You fiddle with the hem of your dress, and that seems to catch his eye as it dawns on him that he hasn’t really seen you in anything other than your usual uniform. To be fair, you could say the same. He likes it.
You clear your throat. “Halfway done. How do you feel?”
He sips on his water, jaw clicking before settling with a sharp tsk. “Good. I think I’m finally getting the hang of it. Anastasia even congratulated me the other day when I diverted a series of questions with ease.”
Impressed, you raise your brows. “Bravo. Wish that was the case with Lando. I swear, sometimes I think he does and says things to make me look bad on purpose.”
“He should stop,” he says with a goofy smile. “Does he not know how lucky he is to get to call you his assistant?”
You blush. “Best friend, actually. I’ve been promoted ever since I pretended to be his girlfriend last New Year's Eve.”
The brunette inches forward with curiosity. “Wish to clarify?”
You hop onto the island, fixing your dress and crossing your legs. “Don’t tell him that I told you any of this, but I secretly think he was embarrassed of not having a midnight’s kiss. Especially since his ex was there with her new boyfriend. Talk about the unexpected.”
His chest tightens. “You two, um…kissed, then?”
“Yes,” you confirm with a childlike grin, and for some reason, it makes him want to puke. “Oh God, I haven’t thought about this in forever!”
He pretends to find interest in the crowded room, but really, it all remains on you. “Was it any good?”
You blush this time and he swears he’s close to walking away. “Yes and no. I mean, it wasn’t bad, but it just didn’t feel right.”
He perks up then, floppy hair bouncing at the sudden speed. “Really?” He coughs, then fixes his watch, training his eyes towards the floor. “Erm, I mean, is that so?”
A nose scrunch. “It felt like kissing someone you’re not supposed to. Which I suppose is true. We’re better off as friends.” He relaxes. “Thinking about it, we might’ve gagged each other's mouths.” You grimace. “If that doesn't show our discomfort, then I don’t know what will.”
“Good to know.” Oscar rubs his arm, up and down, then steps closer to you. You blink. “Hey, I was meaning to ask—”
Strippers? I didn’t order any strippers.
Hire, a male voice interjects. He means to say he didn’t—hire—any strippers.
“Son of a…” You wince apologetically, to which he shrugs. Don’t worry. Go. Biting your lip, you nod, rushing to the living room, where Lando, Daniel, and a bunch of other randoms circle the almost nude girls with long legs.
“I mean, I won’t turn you away, ladies,” the Brit mumbled, already wrapping his arms around their waists. They all giggle, inching closer until he’s a blushing mess.
You snap your fingers, pointing towards the exit. “All of you need to leave.”
Is that your sister? the one with a cowboy hat whispers into his ear. He quickly shakes his head, narrowing his eyes at you like a deadly weapon.
“No. That’s his girlfriend,” Daniel yodels, face pressed up against the couch, admiring the group of girls. “But they’re in an open relationship.”
“I’m not his girlfriend—”
“She’s not my girlfriend—”
Oscar’s jaw clenches, eyes focused on the entire commotion. The older Australian rolls his eyes. “Right. We don’t talk about it.”
“Would you stop trying to help?” you shoot back, sarcastically, and clap your hands as if you’re rounding up a new high school cheer. “I need you all out. You want money? Fine. He’ll give you money,” you declare, signaling towards Lando.
“Hey,” he groans, instantly letting go and stepping closer to you. “They haven’t even done anything to earn it….”
Your eye twitches. “I swear to God—”
“Deal,” the redhead shoots out. “But we need a moment to come to an agreement. You know? On how much we want to ask for.”
“Perfect,” you chirp, rolling your heels. “Take out your wallet, Big Boy.”
“You used to be fun.”
“And you used to be terrified over a pair of tits when I first met you. Whatever happened?” Lando blushes profoundly before pushing you away. “Want them gone, Lando, gone!”
“Yes! Jesus Christ—let me deal with this.”
“I’m done,” you promise with your hands raised up in surrender. “But just remember what happened last time.” He frowns, cocking his head to the side. You wiggle your brows. “São Paulo.”
Color drains his face before letting out an unhinged laugh and motioning you away. You giggle, heading back to where Oscar stands.
“I see what you mean,” he announces. What? “How he can have a bit of a headache.”
“See! I told you! Four years of this!” A dramatic yawn. “I’m tired.”
A string of boo’s follow once the strippers prance out the door, waving all their money in the air. Specifically Daniel, who genuinely looks upset to see them go. Oscar leans down against the counter, the proximity between you becoming smaller. “You should get some rest, then.” But he selfishly doesn’t mean it. He wants you to stay—to keep talking to him.
You let out a snort, grabbing your sides. “I mean, I'm tired of being Lando’s assistant. It’s a full time job, y’know?”
“Oh.” He stands up straight again. “Right. Of course.”
You purse your lips, looking down to your shoes. “But that was actually quite thoughtful.”
She thinks I’m thoughtful, he internally swoons because that must be a good sign, right? Not everyone is thoughtful, but he is, and that must count for something. Gathering all the strength he has left—which is not much considering you blink up at him like some angel—he licks his pink lips. “Back to what I was going to say earlier before you left—”
“I wasn’t trying to step on him! I already said I was sorry!” you hear a familiar voice, instantly turning to find Anastasia kicking Daniel’s face back into place, well, since he now lays asleep on the floor. You curse beneath your breath, jumping off the island once again.
“His head did a complete 360!” Yuki accuses, clearly panicked. “That's not normal, is it?”
“No, it is,” Pierre replies with a bored tone. “I’ve seen it happen before.”
Crouching down next to the curly haired driver, you jab his cheek before motioning Oscar and Anastasia closer. “Help me carry him to the guest room,” you instruct, already taking off your cardigan.
The black haired girl is quick on her feet, grabbing the Australians right leg as you grab the left. Oscar, however, swallows hard at the amount of cleavage you’re suddenly displaying, but instantly snaps out of it when both you and Anastasia blink back at him. He picks up the Alpha Tauri driver’s upper body before puffing.
You blush bright pink at the sight of his muscles pulsing against his t-shirt. “I-It’s just around the corner.”
As soon as you make it into the room, you three carefully place Daniel onto the bed, to which he squirms before flipping over and snoring away. You motion a finger over your lips before pushing them both out. Gently closing the door behind you,you let out a breath of relief.
Anastasia lets out a whistle. “Surprisingly not that heavy.”
Oscar scoffs. “Easy for you to say. I had to carry most of his weight.”
She shrugs, hugging you hello and apologizing for being so late, and you’re quick to reassure her that it’s fine, though she missed the chance to see strippers give Lando a tough time. She sneers. “I didn’t even know there existed strippers in Monaco.” And then she’s off, clapping loudly at the sight of Lando giving out a round of jello shots. You sigh, rubbing your temples.
“I-I’m sorry. What were you going to say?”
He freezes. “Oh. Just that—” He panics. “Only that I like your shoes!”
You blink, deflating from within. But you try to cover it up with a soft smile. “Thanks, I guess?” Orbs flicker down toward your white Sambas. “Lando says they are overrated, but I like ‘em.”
He nods. “Yeah. I like them too.”
-
It happens one Friday afternoon—the decision.
You’re in between races, you’re in between headaches, and you’re ready to self-implode. So, before any of that happens, you make your first decision. To go on a walk.
It’s getting rather chilly these days, something you love, but also hate. You love it because there is a certain coziness that comes along with it, but you also hate it because you can’t always be cozy, so you’re left shivering. Much like now. But to be fair, this was your own choosing.
The pounding that takes over your head lessens the longer you stroll, the longer you breathe actual fresh air. You don’t really think much, you mainly remain blank, but the sound of tires screeching rips you away. Squinting hard, you catch a glimpse of a lady with grocery bags flipping off the fellow driver, who shares nothing but an apologetic smile before driving off.
“What happened? Do I have something on my face?”
Dusting your nose, then your cheek, you blush faintly. You instantly assume it’s the powdered donuts fault—the one you had gobbled up in a hurry during the drive back to the paddock. It was an early morning, and no one really made it on time when it came to early days, but you always did. And so did Oscar. So, a sleepy Zak gave you a wad of cash, and sent you two to the nearest donut shop.
The Australian shakes his head, blinking straight ahead. “N-no, I was just checking my blind spot.”
That only makes you blush harder because in what crazy world would he be looking at you?
A single nod. The car is quiet apart from the sound of his hands moving against the steering wheel, and the sound of the blinker clicking. It’s gloomy, too. You clear your throat. “I love it when it rains.” He hums, calmly, encouraging you to continue. “It just makes me happy.”
“Yeah?”
“Mhm.” You purse your lips. “I sort of wish I were home. That way I can snuggle near the window and fall asleep to the sound of light drizzle.”
The brunette quirks a brow towards the road. “That sounds nice. Like…really nice.” A pause. “Why can’t you do that here, though?”
Here—here means where you are right now. Here means this place that’s not home. Here is not close to being enough, but he doesn’t figure that one out. You blink, dragging your finger along the pink box sitting on your lap. “Trust me, I’ve tried.” A small shrug. “But it’s just not the same, y’know? There’s always something missing.”
He doesn’t waste a moment in asking. “What do you think that is?”
Taken aback by his inquiry, you let yourself surmise for a second or two before licking your lips. “Maybe a pup. To keep me company”
He semi-frowns, cocking his head to send you a deadpan expression. “A dog?”
Now it’s your turn to frown, sending him a glare. “What were you thinking?”
The red light lets him take focus on you. “Dunno. A boyfriend, maybe?”
You’re sure you’re nearly as tomato red as the light staring at you both. “What? You instantly just assume I don't have one already?”
He freezes. “Well, I, um…t-that’s not what I meant—”
“Look, I know I’m not a guys’ typical ‘dream girl’, but sheesh I’m not that unlovable. At least, I hope not, but now you’re making me second guess. I mean, your opinion must indicate everyone sees me as some sort of lonely widow.”
Oscar shakes his head, adamantly. “I don’t see you as such.” A slow pause. “A lonely widow, I mean. I find your words to not be all that true, really. You’re nice. You’re persevering, You’re beautiful. And you have a good heart.” The light translates back to green, and you’re freakishly thankful, that way he can’t see you burn up. “You could easily be anyone's dream. Whoever makes you think otherwise is a phony.”
It’s getting harder not to laugh—most likely out of skeptic shock—but you refrain. He’s simply being kind with you, but that doesn’t stop you from nearly going into cardiac arrest. His words should have been labeled with a warning.
“Guess this world is filled with lots of phonies.”
He scoffs. “There shouldn’t be. Not when it comes to a girl like you.”
Your breath catches. “Os—”
All of a sudden, the car comes to a harsh stop, sending you flying, but not the Australian, who remains sitting up straight. An older man flips him off before riding off on his bike. You both breath hard, turning to face each other.
“Are you okay?” he questions, voice laced with worry.
You nod, slightly dazed. “I, um—yeah. Are you?”
A nod. “I didn’t even see where he came from.”
A weak laugh finally erupts. “Blame it on the poor innocent man— clever.”
Brown eyes soften. They flicker from your orbs back to your pouty lips. He’s only checking if you’re okay, of course. You send him a reassuring bow and he releases a heavy breath.
“Guess I was too focused on my blind spot, once again.”
The next decision comes when you opt in to join your neighbor, Mr. Lennon, for a cup of tea after he finds you shivering. By that time, it’s raining hard, you're soaking wet, and it only makes sense to accept his kind offer.
“Mint. To hopefully push back any upcoming cold. God, what were you thinking?”
You let out a laugh. “Not much. That’s why I was aimlessly roaming.”
“What about now?”
You halt, mug raised up to your chapped lips. “What about now?”
He smiles, softly, mixing his own tea with a heavy spoon of honey. “Did the walk help? Were you able to get the wheels rolling?”
Now you giggle loudly. “That’s not very nice! The wheels are working just fine, thank you very much.”
The light scent of pine trees enter the room as soon as he stands up to open his window, the sound of soft rain singing to you as some much needed therapy. “So? What were you pondering about out there?”
“I wasn’t pondering.”
“Walking alone in the middle of a thunderstorm?” A sore laugh. “Been there. Done that. There’s always something on someone’s mind when that happens. Which isn’t often, or usual, so that must mean you’re really stuck up on something.”
“Or someone,” you mumble beneath your breath. His brows dart up, and you sheepishly settle the mug down. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me.”
You blink. You don’t really talk about him out loud. Not with Lando. Not with Anastasia. Not even with your own reflection. Everything has always remained with you. A place you knew to be safe because you made it safe. But Mr. Lennon’s eyes prove to you that he’s lived enough lives—enough scenarios—to maybe understand. Even just a fraction. He watches you visibly gulp. And he knows that look. The confusion, the yearning.
“I’m in love with this boy.”
He hums, leaning back against his wooden chair. “There’s always a boy.”
You look down. “He’s a friend of mine, which makes everything much worse because I can’t ruin that. But for the first time in all my years of living…” Round, glossy eyes stare back at him with a hopeless expression. “I really—really—want to.”
He’s attentive, he listens like some frozen statue, and maybe that’s what fuels your courage to continue speaking. “My entire life, I’ve had crushes, sure, but I’ve never loved someone. Not seriously. So, of course I’m caught off guard when I do feel that for someone who I’m not even in a relationship with.” A playful snort. “God, I feel so stupid.”
The silence that lingers is comforting. Your nerves flow away with the rain, and you feel at peace. Quietly, he clears his throat. “Can I tell you a story?”
A soft sigh. “I’m all ears.”
Gray brows furrow as if trying to recover a distant memory. “I once loved a boy, too.” Your eyes widen. Sure, you knew he was never married, never even had a kid, but you never thought of any reason as to why not. He nods, faintly. “Not many know, and not because I’m ashamed, not by any means…” A single beat. “But because real, sincere feelings are easier to ignore. Because who wants to deal with reality, right? Who wants to confess and be turned away like some dog at your door?”
Exactly, you think, nodding along. “Everyone is always going to be scared of something, but avoidant people like us are terrified about the what-ifs.” He sends a wink. “And I’m living proof that being that way won’t get you nowhere. And you'll realize sooner or later in life that you’d rather be nowhere with someone you love, than nowhere…” His eyes circle the nearly empty kitchen, despite living there for the past twenty years. “...all alone.”
Your chin wobbles. “You know you have me, right? I’m always next door.” A wet laugh follows. “Anyways, I might even join you in this lonely life, eh? Doesn’t sound half bad if I’m doing it with you.”
Tender eyes close slowly before blinking back at you. “No. I want you to be the complete opposite from me. Be different. Tell him how you feel. Even if it costs you a broken heart, tell him. Because I’m telling you right now that a broken heart is always better than the constant desire that will always follow you like the devil.”
A warm droplet rolls down your cheek as you sheepishly laugh, but he doesn’t judge. He never has. Instead, ever the true gentleman, he hands you his handkerchief. “Did you ever get the chance to tell him that you…”
His wrinkles imprint more vividly as he breathes out. “I did, but it didn’t really make the difference I had hoped for. He was already married to someone else.”
A loud sob escapes. “That’s not f-fair. You deserve to be happy with the man you love.”
“I do. But you know what?” You rub the tears away, eyes connecting. “I’ve made peace with the consequences of my own actions.”
By now the rain has died down, and so have you. With one last smile, Mr. Lennon gives your cold hand a soft squeeze.
“Learn from my mistakes, won’t you?”
-
That same night, as you cried over a bottle of wine, you made your third and final decision. And you would execute it all the next time you saw him, no matter the outcome.
But now that you spoke about it once to someone, you felt almost invincible. Which is why you called Lando.
You what?
A wince. “You can’t tell him, okay? I’m legitimately trusting you with this!” He opens his mouth, but you’re quick to signal him off. “Including Ana.”
“Wow. I thought she’d know.” You shrug because you don’t really have an explanation for not having had confided in her, but you know deep down that you’re not really into playing a game of Cupid, and that’s exactly what she'd turn this into. The Brit nods, sympathetically. “Alright. I won’t tell a single soul.”
“Thank you.”
“Are you going to tell him how you feel?”
His question comes out hesitant—like he’s afraid of scaring you away from the possibility—but it doesn’t. Instead, you nod, to which he’s extra surprised because you’ve never been the kind to. “That’s the main reason I told you any of this. Because I wanted to ask you if you knew if he has a girlfriend or not? Someone he’s trying to pursue? I’d hate to…intervene.”
Lando let’s put a soft smile, dimples imprinting neatly onto his face. “I mean, he’s particularly private—you know him—but I’ve never heard him mention having a girl. It doesn’t seem like he does. Go for it. What do you have to lose?”
“My dignity? A good friend?”
Silently, he grimaces because even he can see how much this all means to you—how much you’re scared. So, to boost up your confidence—which is something he definitely doesn’t lack—he flashes a loopy grin. “He probably likes you, anyways.”
You come to a fast halt. Suddenly, painting your nails isn’t your top priority. “Really? You think so?” He nods, and you can’t help but smile back. “What’d he say?”
“Well, as I already stated before, he keeps his things locked up pretty well. But I do recall one time…” He closes his eyes harshly. Then, he snaps his fingers loudly. “I believe in Hungary. He was on a high. And we shared a bottle of champagne to celebrate. So, he sort of let loose. Like insanely loose.”
“And?” you push, eagerly trying to get whatever he has stuck in his throat out of him. The green eyed boy snickers.
“He wasn’t very clear, but he did say he had a crush on a girl. Someone he really wanted to get to know. But that things were a little bit difficult.” You nod, urging him to continue. “I asked why, and he said it was because she had a good heart, or something of that sort? Good intentions? Can’t remember—and that he didn’t want to ruin it.”
Your breath hitches.
And you have a good heart. You could easily be anyone’s dream.
-
Ironically, you’re huddled in Lando’s flat once again when it happens. Well. Almost happens. It’s filled with a few McLaren members because he insisted on hosting a nice brunch. And it was. Nice, you mean.
“Pretty,” Anastasia says, sending a soft smack towards your ass. You yelp, swatting her hand away, and pulling your skirt downward. She snickers. “You should tie your hair up more often. Let’s everyone admire such an angel face.”
“Stop it,” you hiss, but can’t hide the pink flush. “But thank you.”
She grins, eyes crinkling. Black hair sways as she moves to the beat of the music, nursing her drink. “Nice to have a break…”
“Definitely.”
At some point, she slithers away, leaving you all alone on the balcony. Which was quite lonesome until he came along. Oscar scrunched his nose, meekly. “Sorry.”
“It’s alright. Don’t own this place, do I?”
He lets off a raw chuckle. Deeper than when you first met him, and you come to the realization that a lot about him has changed. His hair is longer, his neck is thicker, and his shoulders are wider. But his smile and eyes remain the same. Boyish.
“Thinking?”
You sigh, admiring the ocean set out right in front of you. “Thinking, yes. A lot these days.”
And if he’s patient enough, he’d notice the way your hands shake. Tiny vibrates, but still.. He’d notice the way you bite down on your lip, brushing it along the way. He’d notice the way you blink feverishly, like even the wind hurts.
And he is. He is a patient person. So, he does notice.
“Do you know what song this is?”
Brows furrow, deep in thought. And he’s quick to note that the ticks you had are coming to an easy halt. Mentally, though, you’re cursing yourself out because you do know. You do know the song that flows nicely into your ears, but simply having him next to you is what’s making you forget. How dare me have that kind of power over you?
“I know it,” you start. “But I can’t seem to remember right now...”
The brunette gently nods his head along to the beat. His eyes close, and his hair delicately tussles, and suddenly he’s the only thing you see. “Sex,” he says. You blush, ripping your gaze away before he catches you in the act. Oscar laughs. “It’s Sex by The 1975. How could I forget?”
“Oh yeah.”
The guitar screeches when the volume somehow gets louder, despite not being inside. “Would have killed me not to get it right. My sister listens to it all the time.”
Plump lips pressed together. “You have a sister?” But you know the answer to that question, of course you do. You’re a girl. You’ve done your research, even when you pinched yourself not to.
He nods. “Three, actually. Talk about a headache, am I right?”
And it’s almost nostalgic—your laugh. Like it might be one he heard in his past life, but in his current one, can't remember. But it’s okay if he doesn’t because at least he knows he can learn it. And he has.
“You look really pretty when you laugh that way. Insanely so.”
You can’t seem to register his words. The way they come off as soft and ginger as they could possibly get. As if he really means it. And for the first time since your first interaction with him almost two years ago—you sort of believe he might.
“You’re just saying that?” you question as some test, does eyes challenging him into finally spitting out the truth. The same truth you carry. He shakes his head, taking a step closer.
“I mean it.”
Like a sudden magnet, you two are hesitantly connecting closer and closer together before either of you could stop it. Not that either of you would. The Australian towers over you, almost caging you like some endangered species he’s afraid of slipping away and going extinct.
You swallow, lashes fluttering, and he smiles at the sight—melts. You’ve always been reserved. Quiet. Shy. And so has he, so he can’t really judge you, but he’s willing to be different—just once in his life—to get what he’s been wanting for a long time now.
His eyes follow your lips. Admires how plump they are. How they’re the perfect shade of pink. So, when he leans in and you don’t pull away? He thinks he might explode with the need to kiss you. One time. If he’s lucky, just—once.
“You’ve always been my dre—”
“There you two are!” Anastasia cheers, zigzagging to you both as an apologetic Lando follows right after. By now, Oscar has jumped far away from you, and you’re left feeling empty and lost, blinking at an alarming rate. “We’ve been looking all over!” A hiccup. “What were you doing?” Your lips remain open but Oscar is the first to let out an awkward cough.
“We were just talking about…logistics!” He turns to you, sparing you a pleading look. “W-weren’t we?”
You finally come to, nodding slowly, eyes buzzing between the two McLaren drivers and your best friend, who wobbles from left to right. “Yeah, I….we—logistics, and whatnot.” A beat. “Doesn’t matter.”
He flinches, avoiding your doleful stare. Oscar forces such a bright smile—the kind that can’t go unnoticed by even the biggest idiot on earth—and nods in agreement. “She’s right. It doesn’t matter.”
Lando analyzes you, then his teammate, and wishes he had done more to keep Anastasia from barging in. But really, was this some sign? Maybe you were some delusional little girl who truly believed she had a chance with the boy next door. The one everyone wants, but only one will get to have.
And let’s face it.
It was never going to be you.
-
You’d make an excellent detective in your next life, you’re sure of it. But for now, you’re just some brokenhearted assistant who mourns the death of her what-ifs. Someone who is really good at picking up on clues.
It’s right before Christmas—right before Anastasia’s birthday party—and you’re curling your hair quite poorly. You daze off every now and then, you apply mascara almost zombie-like, and you’re dreading even showing up. Have you been avoiding him? Yes. Yes, you have. Have you been good at it? Only the best, if we’re being truthful here. And were you ready to face him without feeling the need to bolt?
Nope. Not in this lifetime nor the next.
But still, you force yourself to finish getting ready because this isn’t about you. This isn’t about him. It’s about being there for your friend.
Mindlessly, on the drive there, pouting in the back of the yellow cab, you click onto Instagram and the first thing you do is smile at the birthday post Anastasia had posted not even five minutes ago. You scroll, smile wider, and then come to a harsh pause. The kind that makes your throat close up. The kind that makes you stop breathing.
The kind that lets you know—
You’ve lost.
His arms are tied around her waist, his head his nuzzles between her neck, but you can still tell it’s him. His hazel hair can’t go unnoticed. Maybe to someone else, but not you.
Then, as if all odds are against you, your feed refreshes and you’re left far more dumbfounded.
She appears in most of his pictures because why not? It’s his girlfriend's birthday, it goes as expected. Museum dates. Pictures of them with each other's families. And you feel greedy like never before because—why couldn't that be you?
Venmo or cash? You look up, making eye contact with your taxi driver who looks as tired as you are. You press your lips together into a fine line. Digging into your purse, you grab all that you have and jump out of the cab.
It’s chilly out and the lights are beautifully hung, but it doesn’t do you any good. You just want to go home. Curl up in bed and die. Dig a hole—self-suffocate—who cares. And you’re ready to turn around, go back and apologize to Mr. Lennon for not doing better. You really thought you had it in you, but it just wasn’t enough.
But then, the door swings open and Pierre curls a brow. Kika waves from behind “He thought you were some serial killer. He’s been watching too much Dateline.” The brunette scurries over, throwing her arms around you and takes a step back. “Come in before you freeze to death.”
But even that didn’t sound too bad. You sheepishly thank her, following the couple back in. A string of jazz cradles the warm lit living room and the scent of apple pie makes you inhale sharply. A giggle stirs up behind you. Anastasia grins.
“You’re here!”
All of a sudden, you hate her smile. You hate her laugh. You hate her entirely. But you also don’t. You can’t hate her smile. You can’t hate her laugh. You can’t hate her entirely. Because even though you feel like she owes you loyalty, that’s not really true. She had zero idea about your feelings towards Oscar and she won. Fair and square. That doesn’t mean you had to like it.
“Happy birthday, Annie.” Hugging her, you giggle against her ear when she jumps up and down, nearly knocking you two over. “For you. From me.”
She wiggles her neat brows, green eyes buzzing with suspicion. “Is it a vibrator again?”
You blush. “No. Even better.”
“Wow! Even better?” She rips the small bag open, eyes widened double in their size. “Oh my God, you got me the Mary Jane’s I wanted?”
“Well, you kept bugging me, and so I thought—”
“D'accord, je comprends. I love them, thank you.” Grabbing your wrist, she tugged you into the empty hallway, and you can already feel her buzzing with excitement. Your stomach churns. “I wanted to tell you as soon as he asked me out—I really did—but he insisted on keeping it between us two for a while, and I told him no, I had to tell you, but then I understood that maybe it was for the best, and I’ve always liked him—”
Every word makes you feel smaller and smaller because the light in her eyes gives it all away. She, too—much like you—is in love with Oscar Piastri. You shake your head, sharing a light laugh. “I totally get it. There’s no need to explain.”
The green eyed girl visibly relaxes, shoulders rolling back. “I knew you’d understand. Oscar was right—you have a good heart.”
Ana, Yuki just spilled wine on your coach, Daniel rattles from the other side of the room, pointing accusingly towards his teammate who rubs the cushion with his Dior sweatshirt. She sighs. Be right back!
At that moment, you don’t care if you wind up with a deadly case of hypothermia, you simply walk out of the warm house.
“What are you doing? You’re going to get sick.”
Screwing your eyes shut seems to be the only answer to help your mending heart into not breaking completely. And fuck him—fuck him for sounding so goddamn caring.
You turn with a soft smile, shrugging nonchalantly. “Won’t really make a difference, I already feel sick.” You cough for emphasis. “See?” Oscar rolls his eyes, ignoring the poor excuse, and hands you his puffer jacket. You shake your head. Take it. “No.” He frowns. Why not? Rocks crunch with every step he takes. “It wouldn’t be right.”
“What? Borrowing a jacket from a friend?”
“Borrowing my best friend's boyfriend’s jacket.”
His stomach drops, rolling with a wave of anxiety as he tries to not show his uncomfort. “She told you?”
Your teeth grind harder. “That, and you both posted about a thousand pictures together. Wasn’t that difficult to understand what was going on.” A sore laugh. “I’m happy for you two, though. Really. I am.”
“You are?”
Sending a nasty glare that you tried to keep in for the life in you, you turn over to face him, nose rosy. “Yes. Over the fucking moon.”
He flinches. “Listen, about that day at Lando’s house. I-I-I was caught up in the moment. I shouldn’t have said what I said, o-or tried to kiss you—”
“You’re a phony, you know that, right?”
Another flinch. “I’m trying to apologize to you. I’m sorry. I feel bad, okay?”
Tears well up inside your eyes. Somewhere deep inside your chest, you feel a harsh sting, and still that doesn’t compare to his pity. You let out a scoff, crossing your arms. “You feel bad, for what? For messing with my emotions, or for getting with my best friend?” You poke his chest hard, but he remains as still as a brick wall, a pained expression mapped out. “Which one is it?”
“For all of it!” He grabs your face, making you freeze under his fire-like touch. “I loved you—God—I loved every inch of you. Your humor, your heart, your jokes that never land, the awkward giggles that follow afterward—everything. There was not a single thing you could do that could have pushed me away.”
“Then what happened?” you whisper, eyes tracing his pink lips, trying to enjoy his hands. They’re calloused, sure, but they’re by far the closest thing you’ve had, so nothing else matters. His breath hitches, soft eyes looking down at you in complete defeat. You grimace. “Why was I not enough for you to try?”
His hands drop. Brown locks shakes as he rubs his eyes, like this is all some part of a fever dream. Maybe it was. The Australian frowns. “I could ask you the same thing.”
It’s a slap in the face, and it burns like never before because you know he’s right. “I wanted to tell you!” A shaky breath. “I was going to tell you.”
Leaves rustle. “You were?”
“Yes,” you confess, nodding adamantly. “That day at Lando’s place—I wanted to tell you.”
The McLaren driver bites his tongue hard, blinking rapidly. “W-what would you have said?”
“That I loved you too.”
He can’t hide his pain just by hearing those words. He scrunches his nose. He nods robotically. And he keeps his eyes trained towards the ground, like he’s in the middle of solving a puzzle.
“I really did like you. From the moment we met.” Finally, he looks up, round eyes searching for any sign of intimacy. If there’s any left—any you still save for him. “Do you remember the day we first met?”
“A little bit. Yeah.”
A second ticks by. “I do. Remember it all, I mean. Think back to it quite often.” He lets out a boyish grin, crinkles forming, making your heart flutter. “You took my breath away.”
And as if humanly possible, despite the icy air, your cheekbones flush harder as you bite back a giddy smile. “You barely even noticed me—”
“You wore a white ribbon. Hair half up, half down. Denim overalls with your initials sewn onto them. Emerald earrings.” You blink, clearly taken aback by his polished memory. His eyes soften. “I’ll always notice you.”
-
Anastasia pecks the Australians cheek, giggling after each one. Oscar smiles, letting out a sheepish laugh. From the corner, seated next to Lando, you sigh sadly. The Brit bumps his shoulder up against yours. What’s wrong? But you must not have heard him, or you ignore him, but he, too, has eyes.
“I swear I didn’t know a thing about them,” he whispers. “If I had, I would have warned you, you know that—”
“Lando,” you cut him off, voice weak and mellow. ��It’s okay, it’s not your fault.”
He frowns. “I know that, but—”
“It’s not your fault,” you repeat, this time more firm. He swallows, nodding hesitantly. With a soft laugh, you poke his ribs and he’s quick to let out a yelp. “Just want to forget, you know?”
Lando hums. “Understood.”
Anastasia clinks her spoon against her mug. The one you each painted differently in that one pottery class years ago. She grins. “I’m so glad all of you could make it, really, it means a lot.” Her eyes crinkle sweetly towards Oscar who traces shapes down her back. She blushes for him—the same way you do. “I feel like…I finally have everything I ever wanted.”
A string of oohh's echo the room, whistles ringing. She laughs, head falling back, and he lets out a single chuckle, rosy cheeks making everyone grow louder. Meanwhile, you stay silent, focusing on Lando’s shoes. The Brit winces, rubbing your shoulder awkwardly.
Daniel yodels, raising his beer. “Well, in that case, I feel like I do too!” He hiccups, making Pierre and Yuki snicker. “A hot girlfriend, good ‘ol friends, and a nice pair of abs.”
“They are nice,” Lily mumbles, earning her a soft smack from Alex who rolls his eyes.
Carlos cackles. “Me next��um, okay. A good team, my girlfriend, and…and—my hair.”
“Narcissist,” Lando whispers, trying to get a good laugh out of you. And it works. You giggle, muffling the sound with the back of your hand. Oscar perks up, orbs floating over to where you and the Brit whisper to one another, smiles only growing wider. His jaw clenches. Either way, you tune out all the constant chatter after hearing how Pierre was grateful for having a massive cock.
“I really hope nothing changes between us.”
You laugh. “I think it might be a bit too late for that.”
The Australian scratches his shoes against the wet pavement. He agrees. He won’t admit it, but he agrees. Everything has changed. Timidly, he glances over at you, biting the inside of his cheek. His gaze burns—just like always—and you turn to face him.
By now your tears have dried, but your heartbreak still continues. Something deep inside tells you that it’ll continue for as long as you live. You despise yourself for letting any of this get out of hand. For letting your fear of rejection play a big part in losing him. He smiles.
“I love you, okay?”
You smile. “I love you, too.”
Your voice sounds sweet—just like honey. And if it’s a lie, just to make him feel better, then he’s a grateful bloke. He might not have your heart—not completely—and he might not have your hand in his, but he’s fine with that. Because he’s heard all he’s needed to hear. And he can live at peace.
Oscar grins, leaning down to kiss your cheek. It’s tender, just the way you pictured it. You smell like flowers, just like he had dreamt. He pulls away. “You can always talk to me. Whenever. I’ll always be there for you.”
“Thank you. But I won’t bother you too much.” His brows furrow, mouth opening to protest before you wave him off with a tired smile. “Don’t want to vent to you about…well—you.”
“What about you?” Anastasia squeals, making your jump in place.
“What about me?”
She rolls her eyes, theatrically. Oscar remains as still as a statue, enjoying the moment to admire you without having to explain why—all eyes were on you, after all. “Have you ever gotten everything you ever wanted?”
Wistfully, your eyes look up, connecting with the ones you know so well. You admire his boyish features one last time before looking down onto your lap and then focusing on Anastasia.
“No. But I once got very close.”
taglist: @blueflorals @starmanv @coolio2195 @lovrsm @weekendlusting@chanshintien @brune77e @myownwritings @timmychalametsstuff @milasexutoire@alesainz @c-losur3 @darleneslane @togazzo @urfavnoirette @namgification @lpab @d3kstar @anniee-mr @nebarious @notkaryna
#oscar piastri#oscar piastri smut#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri blurb#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri one shot#formula 1#oscar piastri angst#oscar piastri fanfic#op81#op81 x reader#mclaren f1#f1#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 smut#f1 x female reader#f1 fic#mclaren#f1 x y/n#f1 x you#f1 x oc#formula one#formula one x y/n#formula one x oc#formula one x you#formula one x reader#mclaren formula 1#lando norris
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ᯓᡣ𐭩 GORGEOUS! ᡣ𐭩ᯓ
pairing. oscar piastri x leclerc!reader
summary. the youngest leclerc was known to be an outgoing, extroverted menace, but suddenly when she meets the new mclaren driver, she does something she never does — gets embarrassing.
notes. a fair warning for the google translated french.im sorry if it sucks 😭😭 its my first time doing something like this and i really hope u like it :3 ALSO??? OSCAR WIN IN BAKU WAS SO BEAUTIFUL THE OVERTAKE?? THE DEFENDING?? a great day for piastrination!!!!! (can you tell i totally dig x leclerc!reader??) send requests for more smaus pls :)
yourusername
liked by maxverstappen1, arthur_leclerc and 127 621 others.
yourusername spreading the rbr agenda on the streets of kyoto, because your girl finally graduated journalism and engineering with honours!
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arthur_leclerc charles just saw the jacket and had an aneurysm LMAO
user1 someone check on leclerc pls
charles_leclerc cant believe my OWN baby sister wears that in public
yourusername ill take it off once ferrari releases their own energy drink 👍
alexandrasaintmleux gorgeous as usual ❤️
yourusername please dump my brother and date me instead
yourusername please i beg you
yourusername JUST ONE CHANCE 😭😭😣😣😣😭😭
user2 yn is one of us
maxverstappen1 looking good in blue! 💙
loved by author!
yourbff girl land that job or you gon go broke soon with that red bull addiction 👎👎👎
user3 atp yn is sponsoring the team 😭
yourbff you bet she is, girl
user4 double major in such different things pop off queen
user5 need to see her in paddock cos i know the girl is bout to argue with ferrari engineers
yourusername bin*tto left ferrari cos he knew i would drag him down 😁😁😁
user6 love how we had to go thru the 2023 drought without the baby leclerc and now shes baaaack
user7 fr i missed the times when ferrari wasnt the only thing making charles miserable
user7 congratulations on graduating queen!!!! cant wait for the new vid or to see u at one of the races 🥺
user8 im sorry im really new to f1 stuff who is she and why are the drivers here? 😭
user9 this is charlies sister yn!! but she has her youtube channel where she used to post a lot of diff stuff! shes been living in japan for the past four years of her undergrad degrees but due to the workload she had a hiatus for a year 💔💔 u should check out her channel its so cool
arthur_leclerc
liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri and 320 612 others.
arthur_leclerc good day in monaco today, changing professions to a photographer rn, what u think of that?
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user10 arthur you had one job to bring your sister to paddock…
user11 its just friday girl calm down
yourusername please restrain yourself from posting pictures of that ugly face you see in the mirror
yourusername …WHO IS IN THE SECOND SLIDE
yourusername ARTHUR ANSWER ME
yourusername my ovaries are quacking rn ARTHUR ANSWER ME
user12 not yn simping over oscar AND calling arthur ugly 😭😭😭
user13 shes so me tbh
charles_leclerc such a handsome man on the third slide 🔥🔥🔥
olliebearman why is yn tweaking like that 😭
yourusername cos he’s so pretty
oscarpiastri you were supposed to send me the picture not POST IT
user14 this is the guy yourusername 🔥‼️‼️
yourusername omg hes SO gorgeous
oscarpiastri thank you…?
arthur_leclerc yourusername please stop embarrassing the family name
yourusername
liked by oscarpiastri, alex_albon and 101 892 others.
yourusername a quick pit stop in paris before the monaco course is broken!!!!!! (source: trust me bro 🙂↕️) drinking for my pookie dookiest brother to secure that pole and p1 🙂↕️🙂↕️
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yourusername dont let the caption fool you, i am NOT stopping drinking vodka red bull to make sure rbr doesn’t lose their biggest sponsor (me)
maxverstappen1 ty for your service 🫡🫡
yourusername no prob pookie, lecfosi by association but a red bull girlie at heart 😌😌
yourusername big thanks to the autocorrect ❤️❤️❤️ youre the real one babe 🔥🔥🔥
user15 wait till she realises oscar is in the likes…
user16 ohh the girl is gonna be so messy 😭😭😭
user16 im all for it tho 🔥
lilymhe WHAT A GORGEOUS GORGEOUS GIRL
alexandrasaintmleux face card is never denied!
user17 oscar in the likes 🥹🥹
yourusername WHO IS IN THE LIKES??????
yourusername NOO OH MY GOD HES HERE
yourusername HI YOURE SUPER CUTE oscarpiastri
user18 SHE TAGGED HIM LOL
user19 she really want that dick…
yourusername i just think hes cute that is NOT a crime
oscarpiastri i think you’re really cute too :)
yourusername HXJSKSJJDBDJSJS
yourusername sorry a red bull ran across my screen 😭
arthur_leclerc yourbff please tell her she’s not as slick as she thinks she is
twitter
user20 what do you expect 😭😭 she probably partied all night before getting to monaco
user21 LMAOO RIGHT??? but if you watched her vids you know that the girl LOVES an opportunity for a party
user22 yn stronger than me because i’d kiss him on the spot
user23 alr weirdo… they JUST met
user24 he is probably weirded out like imagine meeting a girl who SIMPS over you in the insta comments… she needs to chill
user25 he won’t pick you 👎👎
user26 gtfo if he was weirded out he wouldnt be in the likes of her post or sayin he thinks shes cute lol
user27 the real gentleman out there 🥹🥹
user28 i need them together asap
user29 super delulu but i totally dig the golden retriever gf x polite black cat bf
user30 OMGGG I TOTALLY SEE THE VISION
user31 pls they just met and he was just being polite 👎 stop trying to get into their lives
yourusername
liked by scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc and 428 621 others.
yourusername HE DID IT!!!! I TOLD YALL THAT HE WOULD DO IT!!! MY BROTHER WINS IN MONACO. DONT HIT US UP FOR THE NEXT WEEK OR TWO!!! ITS CELEBRATION TIME!!!! aussi, charlie, il n'y a pas beaucoup de mots capables d'exprimer à quel point je suis fier de toi. vous l'avez fait et personne ne peut vous l'enlever.
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priniya translation! also, charlie — there isn’t an amount of words able to express how proud i am of you. you did it and no one can take it away from you.
user32 girlie might tell everyone she’s a red bull girl, but like the king sebastian once said, everyone is a ferrari fan even when they say they’re not or something like that 🔥🔥🔥
user33 CONGRATULATIONS CHARLES!!! FINALLY WON!!!
carlossainz55 ay cropped my ‘carlos p3’ out 😖😖
yourusername this is a celebration post for my pookiest brother you are IRRELEVANT rn
carlossainz55 that was harsh
yourusername win YOUR home race and i’ll post one 4 u 👍👍
charles_leclerc je t’aime mon lutin ❤️
yourusername je t’aime mon coco 🫶🫶🫶
oscarpiastri congratulations to the man of the day, such an honour to stand next to you on the podium xx
arthur_leclerc man you gotta stop commenting on her posts, she’s going insane rn
oscarpiastri i’m sorry…?
yourusername NO DONT BE SORRY DONT LISTEN TO HIM IM COMPLETELY SANE
yourusername oscarpiastri please keep interacting with me i’m gonna die if you listen to arthur
oscarpiastri i guess i gotta text you now and then to make sure you don’t die
yourusername please do that
user34 do they know we can see that??
user35 idc im eating this up
user36 oscaryn truthers rise and shine
user37 atp i cant tell if hes interested or if hes doing that for his own entertainment
user38 probably both
user39 i LOVE how a celebration post for charles turned into an opportunity to flirt with oscar 😭😭
user40 she is NOT stronger than me because if i had a chance i’d took it
user41 setting her priorities straight
oscarpiastri
liked by landonorris, yourusername and 792 721 others.
oscarpiastri a quick but very much needed pit stop before zandvoort
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user42 someone check on yn ASAP
user43 yn one of us once again because we couldn’t bag oscar either 😭
user44 can yall stop talking abt that girl FOR ONCE no one gaf
landonorris looking good mate
liked by the author!
yourusername pls tell me you found more of these beautiful seashells and brought some back for me
oscarpiastri we did actually! y immediately thought abt you and picked the pretty ones
yourusername GOD. i love her give her a big hug from me
oscarpiastri will do maam 🫡🫡
user45 so it’s not yn in the pics?? NOOOOO
user46 my life is ruined rn
user47 throwing oscaryn into a memory box because oscar and his gf looks really cute together
charles_leclerc hope you had a great summer mate
oscarpiastri the best 🙂↕️🙂↕️
user48 what if they r just trolling us because this caption looks really similar to the one yn posted before monaco???
user49 OMGGG YOURE ONTO SOMETHING
user50 hopefully on the way to the psych ward because this is some delulu shit
user51 soft launch over the summer 🥹🥹 hes so cute
user52 whoever his girl is, i just hope they’re happy and yall should too!
yourusername also plsplspls can y send me the id to the top?? it looks so cute from the back
user53 girl he wont choose you stop trying so hard 😭😭
user54 they can be friends ? lol
user55 does someone knows who the girl is???? i need to know its not yn 😭😭
user56 georgerussell63 tell us what you know 🫵🫵
georgerussell63 🤐🤐🤐
alex_albon he’s actually crying and gritting his teeth because he’d LOVE to tell
gossipracegirl
liked by georgerussell63, user57 and 87 621 others.
gossipracegirl a rumour has it that a driver for formula one with a number eighty one was seen getting cozy with one of his on-track rival’s little sister, while in a relationship. was it a drunken mistake or was it all planned?
tagged oscarpiastri yourusername
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user58 something is really wrong with leclercs one is a homie hopper and second is a homewrecker LOL
user59 shouldve happened in monaco so the people could get detained for invading their priacy like wtf WHO CARES
user60 all she do is bring bad pr to oscar BOO👎👎👎
user61 nooo oscar pookie you were supposed to be free from drama 😭😭
user62 gr63 in the likes LMAOO
user63 not yn being a homewrecker girl i liked u sm 😭😭
user64 yall acting like she’s in the wrong ? it gotta be consensual if they looked that chill n happy
user65 no wonder why yn has been streaming olivia rodrigo RELIGIOUSLY
user66 isnt that some type of incest atp?
user67 LMAOO imagine making out with your brother’s adopted son
yourusername
liked by pascale_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 273 811 others.
yourusername YALL THOUGHT. it was me all along :P i was giggling n kicking my feet pretending i know osco’s gf while it was ME. summer break vlog with osco coming up sooner than u think so please stop calling me a homewrecker 😖😖😖
also, girls don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, being yourself is what gets you an amazing guy even if your brother thinks youre embarrassing <3
tagged oscarpiastri
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georgerussell63 ty for not SLACKING OFF anymore i barely could hold it inside 😵💫😵💫😵💫
yourusername you told HALF the grid be for real brother you DID NOT hold it inside
fransisca.gomes no way oscar bagged you before i could 😭😭😭😭
yourusername i’m always gonna be yours kiks no one could take you away from me <3
francisca.gomes <3
pierregasly really thought getting u a bf would mean you leave MY girl alone
yourusername thinking is not your best thing, stick to racing
user68 shit user48 YOU WERE RIGHT
user48 NEVER DOUBT ME BITCHES
user69 this text?? oh he is down bad for you girl
user70 i need all of those bitches who called yn a homewrecker to APOLOGISE like rn
oscarpiastri thank you for letting me be a part of your life like this
user71 i know the girl is GIGGLING rn
yourusername thank YOU for making a part of YOUR life
user72 get yourself a man who THANKS you for being with you
user73 oscar piastri is the MAN
user74 osco 🥹🥹
user75 theyre the cutest your honour
arthur_leclerc cant believe you two are actually together
arthur_leclerc what is WRONG with you oscarpiastri
user76 SO OPPOSITES DOES ATTRACT
charles_leclerc i feel like i should tear those adoption papers apart no?
user77 nicole and pascale in the likes omg the moms r proud 🥹
hattiepiastri i miss youuuu come back to aus soon
yourusername I MISS YOU TOO 😭😭 i’ll be back soon!!
lorenzotl ❤️❤️❤️
liked by the author!
lilymhe double date when?
yourusername mark your calendar, we’ll be there 🫶
user78 does it mean we lose our favorite rbr girlie? 😭😭😭😖😖
user79 mclaren YOU TOOK HER AWAY FROM US 🫵
yourusername i am NOT wearing that ugly orange for a MAN (even if hes super gorgeous and sweet)
mclaren ☹️☹️☹️
landonorris it’s papaya
yourusername “it’s papaya” ☝️🤓
landonorris oscarpiastri please break up with her or you’re gonna be paying for my therapy
oscarpiastri send the bill mate, i’m in for the longest ride possible here
#op81#op81 fic#op81 fluff#op81 x reader#op81 imagine#oscar piastri au#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri social media au#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri x leclerc!reader#leclerc!reader#oscar piastri smau#formula one x reader#f1 x reader#f1 fluff#f1 smau#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 drabble#formula 1 x you
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English Love Affair | LN4
an: bouncing out to 5sos rn so this is so happening also thank you for 300 followers!!
fc: hayley williams and pinterest
requests: open
oscarpiastri
liked by ynpiastri, landonorris, lilyzneimer and 927,726 others
got to see little sis live again, @/bandname on tour starting september!
*tap to load more comments*
userone: my fav aussie band
usertwo: we love a supportive brother
userthree: oscar only has one facial expression
landonorris: i’m in love
oscarpiastri: how about no
ynpiastri: it was lovely meeting you!
landonorris: 🥰🥰
userfour: help lando is in his lovergirl era
userfive: see you in london!
ynpiastri
liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, yourbandname and 373,936 others
london are we ready!!!!!
*tap to load more comments*
userone: YESSSSSS
usertwo: she’s so pretty
nicolepiastri: i raised two very diffrent children
oscarpiastri: she’s definitely dad’s daughter
chrispiastri: ☺️👍
ynpiastri: love you both
userthree: piastri family reunion
userfour: yn supremacy 🧎♀️🧎♀️
landonorris: see you in london 😉
oscarpiastri: you wish
ynpiastri’s story
[caption: where’s my hot rockstar bf]
story replies:
oscarpiastri: thank god non existent
ynpiastri: let me feel love
oscarpiastri: no
landonorris: im no rockstar but i’m a pretty good driver
ynpiastri: i’ll think about it
ynpiastri
liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, yourbandname and 827,372 others
london you were a dream
*tap to load comments*
userone: IT WAS SO GOOD
usertwo: yourbandname supremacy
landonorris: no you were
oscarpiastri: get out of my little sister’s comment section
landonorris: "how about no"
ynpiastri: you came?
userthree: LANDO SAY “YOU CALLED” RN
landonorris: couldn’t miss a gig in my home country now?
ynpiastri: ☺️
oscarpiastri: i don’t like this
userthree: i ship already
userfour: isn’t she dating her bassist?
userfive: not everyone dates their bassist
lie detector test with oscar piastri and lando norris
twitter
ynpiastri
liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, yourbandname and 948,826 others
second leg of tour soon - who likes the new badge and shirt my 'friend' got me 🤭
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userone: she’s so real for that
usertwo: i was there!!
userthree: she’s amazing
oscarpiastri: do i have to remind both you and your friend that our parents are on this app?
nicolepiastri: too late osc, too late.
userfour: i love their family
userfive: never change yn
landonorris: facts
usersix: WHAT
userseven: LANDO
oscarpiastri: i just threw up my breakfast
ynpiastri: 😉
usereight: lanyn is happening before our very eyes
usernine: i bet you that 'freind' was lando
twitter
ynpiastri
liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, yourbandname and 963,234 others
seven thousand miles away...
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userone: aesthetic queen
usertwo: getting in touch with nature after that last lando commenrs
userthree: WHAT IS THAT SECOND PHOTO?!
ynpiastri: new album cover! 😇
userfour: who IS IT!
carlossainz55: oh i know those abs
userfive: arianna what are you doing here
usersix: we just got confirmation of carlando and lanyn in one day.
oscarpiastri: please stay in aus and never come back to england
ynpiastri: "how about no"
twitter
ynpiastri
liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, yourbandname and 958,356
my english love affair - stream now available on all platforms!!
*tap to load comments*
userone: they broke the internet with this one
usertwo: THE WAY SHE ANNOUNCING THAT THEY FUCKED HELP
nicolepiastri: thank you for letting me know you had a boyfriend through social media daughter
ynpiastri: no worries mumma
landonorris: i apologise mrs piastri
userthree: her and oscar are polar opposites and i love it
userfour: oh i know they be having the best *** of their life.
landonorris: hot 😩
oscarpiastri: someone hand me a gun
#f1#f1 imagine#f1 smau#f1 fanfic#lando norris#mclaren#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris fluff#lando norris x you#lando norris x oc#lando norris x y/n#oscar piastri#oscar piastri sister#formula one smau#mclaren formula 1#smau#rockstar!reader#mclaren f1#formula one#formula 1#social media au
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"I'm gong to put 'being a WAG' on my CV"
Authors note: Here's a little Max Verstappen x TechCEO!Reader. Bet you didn't see that comng. Anyway, got the idea for this a few days ago, and I guess my love of Italian food made me finish this
Summary: Max's new relatioship causes a social media stir, but the new couple couldn't care less whilst in Italy.
Warnings: English isn't my first language, no use of Y/N, female reader, famous reader
Word count: 2k
You understood it, to a degree. Max had just broken off a three-year-long relationship right before summer break, and now suddenly he was spending the summer with you. Now you’re at the paddock... No wonder people thought there was some crossover.
The truth? You two met last New Year's at a party for some sporting event. You, being one of the sponsors for your country's national sports committee, were invited, and Max... well, Max was Max Verstappen. You hit it off, exchanged numbers, showed him around your company a few times, and took him to all of your favorite restaurants in NYC. But you knew he had a girlfriend; everyone knew. And he was taking care of her kid too.
That breakup was hard on him. He had stopped loving her, but he couldn't just kick a woman and her kid out of his house. Max waited for them to have a huge fight, and then they just... broke up. And to your surprise, he was in New York the next day, saying that he needed someone to talk to. Bullshit. You knew he liked you. Otherwise, he wouldn't have come all the way here 'just to talk.'
But here you were, in Italy, spending time with him before Monza. You were currently typing away on your phone, trying to make peace in the finance department. Max glanced up from his phone every so often, stealing peeks at you while grinning.
He had never quite been so into someone like you. You were smart, funny, talented, pretty, and on top of all that - you were also rich. But you were also the most challenging girl to flirt with Max had ever met.
"You look like you could use a break," he said, after watching you tap away at your work laptop for a few minutes.
"Probably. What's the point of having interns if they don't do anything?"
"Then you should consider hiring me; I'm pretty good at helping out," Max teased, looking up from his phone and sending you a cheeky smile. He loved a woman who was in power, who knew what she was doing, and he could tell you were used to being the boss. "Come on, take a break. You know you deserve it," Max encouraged, resting his hand on top of yours to stop you from working some more.
"I guess I could eat…" You say, closing your laptop. "I saw on Google Maps that there’s a nice pizza place down the road. We can go if you’re hungry.”
Max smiled and nodded. “Yes, I’m starving; let’s go,” he said, reaching for the car keys.
“No, it’s okay, let’s walk,” you stop him. He turned towards you, slightly confused. Usually, women would give anything to drive around with Max Verstappen. Maybe that’s just what makes you special.
The two of you walked out of the hotel, your bodyguard Lenny standing outside the door. The tall, muscular man just nodded as the two of you entered the elevator. Max found it funny that you preferred Lenny guard your stuff more than you. Especially the laptop. He sometimes wondered what you kept in there...
“Is Pierre gonna be at the race?” you asked as you exited the building, breaking the silence.
Max’s head snapped towards you, and he raised his brow. “Uh, yes, of course he is… Why?”
“Because I want to see Kika.”
“Oh, so she’s your secret F1 crush, eh?” Max said, relaxing.
You laughed. “Pierre is a solid seven with a better haircut. Kika is a twelve on a bad day.”
As you got to the bigger streets, you started to understand why Max drove everywhere. Unlike you, who were a chiller and niche celebrity, despite being incredibly rich, Max was a real superstar. Your short walk to the pizza shop became a fan meet and greet, with people coming up to you every three seconds and asking for photos.
“Is this your girlfriend?” one of the people asking for a picture asked. As you finished taking the photo, you noticed Max’s slightly flustered face as he heard the question. He stumbled, but you answered with a simple “Yeah.”
As you arrived at the restaurant, you noticed that Max was staring at you. He seemed… surprised. You laughed at his facial expression. The sound of your laugh calmed him instantly, his heartbeat beginning to return to normal. Max cursed himself in his head; he was better than this. He chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Is it something I said?"
Max ran a hand through his hair, feeling his cheeks heating up slightly. "No, no... Not really," he reassured you, trying to sound casual. "I was just... thinking."
"Okay, well I'm thinking about the food. I think a Vesuvius sounds great right now."
Max chuckled and quickly glanced down at the menu to hide his embarrassment. "Vesuvius? What the hell is a Vesuvius?" he asked, though his eyes scanned down the menu, searching for it.
"It's a type of pizza," you teased. "It's been like three minutes; have you not even skimmed the menu?"
Max fidgeted under your gaze, feeling the heat rise in his cheeks again. "What?" he asked with a nervous chuckle. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"You tell me. Why are you staring?" Max shook his head, glancing up at you questioningly. He had no idea what you were thinking about. "No... What are you thinking about?" he asked, his curiosity getting the best of him.
"There are pots from 4000 years ago found in ancient Egypt that are made out of an incredibly difficult to manage material and are cut to such perfection that they balance on their round bottom."
Max's eyebrows shot up in surprise. He was expecting something totally different. Something that had at least a little bit to do with him. He chuckled, still somewhat surprised as he studied your face. "Where did that come from?" he asked incredulously.
"The Egyptians. They were like, cooking pots and stuff. Royal cooking pots probably, but still," you teased.
Max chuckled again, shaking his head in disbelief. "You're thinking about cooking pots, and here I am, just trying to figure out what I did to make you say that we're together so casually."
"What do you mean? Are we not together?"
"Well, of course we're together," Max said, his voice taking on a more serious tone now. He glanced around the restaurant briefly, making sure no one was listening in on their conversation. "I just... I didn't expect you to say it so casually," he said, his eyes meeting yours again.
"Oh, sorry. I didn't know we were keeping it a secret. I mean, I was at the paddock and all last time, and I took days off work to come to this race—"
Max shook his head, realizing you completely misunderstood what he was saying. "No, no, it's not that... I just..." he began, struggling to find the right words. He took a deep breath, his fingers fidgeting in his lap. "It's just... you're so casual about it... and I'm... a bit too flustered for my own good," he admitted, a tinge of embarrassment in his voice.
You softened up a bit. "Oh, okay, I get it. It was just a bit too shocking for you... Yeah, sorry."
Max felt his heartbeat a little faster when you softened, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Yeah, it was a bit... unexpected for me," he chuckled, feeling somewhat silly for being so flustered. "But it's fine, honestly."
"Do you think my stomach is gonna have space for gelato later? There's a really good gelateria; I can see it from the window... They make the ones with the macarons..."
Max chuckled, loving how you were so excited about the gelato. "Well, based on the amount of pizza you usually eat," he teased, a smirk on his face. "I'd say you're probably fine."
"No, they put the macarons on the gelato."
"On the gelato?" Max repeated, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise.
"I've never heard of such a thing," he said, leaning forward to get a better look out the window at the gelateria you were talking about. "Well, in that case," he said with a grin, "we're definitely going there for dessert."
After eating so much that your belts barely held, you came back to the hotel, Lenny greeting you at the door as usual. Max's stomach was stuffed to the brim, but he was in such a good mood from the good food and even better company, he didn't even care. He walked back into the hotel together with you, his hand still holding yours. Lenny greeted the two of you as usual, but Max couldn't help but notice the way Lenny looked at you, like he was analyzing you.
"All good, Len. You go to your room for the night," you said to Lenny. He nodded, smiled at the both of you, and then went off. Max watched as Lenny walked off, then turned to you, a small frown on his face.
"He was looking at you funny," he said, a protective edge to his voice.
"He thinks it's funny. That I'm dating a Formula 1 driver."
"What's so funny about that?" he protested, his grip on your hand tightening ever so slightly. "He just... I don't know, he's a big fan of yours I don't think he's processed it yet". Max's frown relaxed as you explained it, his ego immediately soothed a bit. Of course he was a big fan of his, who wasn't?
"Oh, so he's a big fan?" he teased, a hint of pride and cockiness in his voice.
You take your shoes off and lay on the bed, your stomach bloated from all the good food "Yeah. Talk to him a bit, I think it'll make him happy" You let out groan as you move "I hate you Italy. You has so much good food... I love it though"
Max chuckled, watching as you dramatically threw yourself onto the bed, your stomach protesting the amount of food you just had. "You're such a drama queen sometimes," he teased, grinning as he took off his shoes as well and joined you on the bed. He lays down beside you, running a hand over your bloated stomach. "You'll be fine," he said, though there was a hint of amusement in his voice.
"Oh, you know what I saw on TikTok?"
Max raised an eyebrow in curiosity, his hand now resting on your stomach. He didn't typically pay too much attention to TikTok, but he was more than happy to listen to you.
"What did you see?" he asked, turning his head to look at you.
"Well first of all, I'm a WAG now. Thank you for that, I will be putting that on my CV. But second, they liked that I was wearing Red Bull merch. I thought they wouldn't like it, but they did"
Max chuckled as you spoke, amused by how casually you mentioned being a WAG, and how seriously you were taking the fact that you were wearing Red Bull merchandise. "Well, of course they liked it," he said with a smirk. "You were wearing the merch of the best team out there."
He gave you a smug look, his hand moving up and tracing a lazy pattern on your stomach. "Not to mention the merch of the best driver out there."
#max verstappen#max verstappen imagine#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#max verstappen x reader#f1#formula 1
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meet the piastris
oscar piastri x reader
warnings - pregnancy, children (is this a warning idk maybe), this is disgustingly fluffy, insinuation of smut, mention of death (as a joke), i think that's it xoxo
face claim - girls on pinterest
oscarpiastri
liked by y/n.l/n, mclaren and 378,728 others
tagged: y/n.l/n
oscarpiastri: so excited to see what the future holds for our family and i'm incredibly lucky to share this with the love of my life
comments
y/n.l/n: how could you do this to me
oscarpiastri: ?
y/n.l/n: this is so sweet but now i'm crying and covered in snot
y/n.l/n: i love you (we have run out of tissues)
oscarpiastri: i love you too (i'll buy them on my way back home and some hot chocolate)
user1: i need someone that is as down bad for me as oscar is for y/n
user2: ikr man is whipped
oscarpiastri: have you seen her shes gorgeous?!?
user3: OSCAR JACK PIASTRI THE LAST PICTURE!!!
user4: the gasp i gusped
landonorris: my honest reaction 😋🥰😍
y/n.l/n: 🤔 please stop thirsting over my husband
landonorris: i'm so sorry queen it won't happen again 😔🙏
user5: what just happened
landonorris: she's scary pregnant ☹️
mclaren: we can't wait to meet the baby papayas! (zac does need to have a chat with you about what is appropriate to post on social media)
oscarpiastri: why?
user6: unbothered king
user7: served
mclaren: i give up
landonorris: warming up for my uncle duties
oscarpiastri: who told you, you can be their uncle?
landonorris: 😨😰😫🤢🤮😵
y/n.l/n: wait i feel bad
y/n.l/n: you can be their uncle ig 🙄
landonorris: yes! i'm going to buy them go karts
user8: y/n are you sure this is wise?
y/n.l/n: his emotional vulnerability got to me (also please don't buy my babies go karts)
logansargeant: i'll be their favorite uncle though right?
y/n.l/n: ofc 🩷
oscarpiastri: oh definitely
user9: uncle logiebear!!
landonorris: uncle lan*
logansargeant: you guys are going to be the best parents, i can't wait to meet the little ones
oscarpiastri: no please i've just stocked up on tissues
y/n.l/n: THANK YOU THIS IS SO SWEET I'M SOBBING I BET THEY CAN'T WAIT TO MEET YOU TOO
user10: i can't wait for dad oscar content
y/n.l/n: neither can i
user11: he's going to look so hot
y/n.l/n: HEY! he's mine
oscarpiastri: what she said!
user12: i love them
yourbestfriend: i hope they take after y/n looks wise xx
oscarpiastri: me too
y/n.l/n: they better do i've been the one carrying them around for nine months
y/n.l/n: but also osc is hella cute so its a win win
yourbestfriend: you two are disgustingly cute
y/n.l/n
liked by landonorris, yourbestfriend and 604,921 others
y/n.l/n: welcome to the world freya and ruby piastri you are already so loved
comments
user13: they are adorable
oscarpiastri: the most adorable ever actually
y/n.l/n: agreed
landonorris: wait they are so tiny are they meant to be that small?
oscarpiastri: mate.. they are babies but are you meant to be that small?
landonorris: 😔
user14: gagged
danielricciardo: congrats
liked by y/n.l/n and oscarpiastri
lilymhe: their names are so cute
lilymhe: and so are they
y/n.l/n: thank you bby
user15: i have such bad baby fever and you are not helping
y/n.l/n: you may want to avert your eyes because they are literally going to be my entire feed from now on soz
user16: i don't blame you queen they are too precious
liked by y/n.l/n and oscarpiastri
oscarpiastri: we make cute babies
y/n.l/n: we really do
oscarpiastri: we should have some more
user17: sir it has been 2 days
liked by y/n.l/n
mclaren: our future driver lineup
liked by oscarpiastri
y/n.l/n: oscar! unlike this i don't think my heart could take watching them race
lewishamilton: congratulations guys
liked by y/n.l/n and oscarpiastri
landonorris: have you got the clothes i sent them yet?
y/n.l/n: yes thank you it was so... thoughtful of you to buy them shirts with your face on
landonorris: they have to know who their favorite uncle is
oscarpiastri: and the best way to do this was through a shirt?
landonorris: correct
yourbestfriend: sending mine now
logansargeant: me too
user18: the whole grid is all so excited for them!!
user19: it's so sweet
oscarpiastri: i think they just want to see who will be the favorite
yourbestfriend: i’m going to spoil them so much
y/n.l/n: you already have
yourbestfriend: well i'm gonna spoil them even more
charles_leclerc: future ferrari fans
maxverstappen1: future redbull fans*
georgerussell63: future mercedes fans**
oscarpiastri: no 🧡
liked by mclaren
logansargeant: can't wait to meet them!!
y/n.l/n: they can't wait to meet you either!!
user20: they can't talk
y/n.l/n: a mother knows x
mclaren posted a story
liked by y/n.l/n, oscarpiastri and 24,218 others
caption- we send our congratulations to oscar and y/n as they welcome freya and ruby piastri to their family and as we welcome them to the papaya family
replies
y/n.l/n: papaya girls! 🧡
mclaren: the mclaren merch is on the way
y/n.l/n: only if it's 81 merch
user21: freya and ruby mclaren takeover when?
user22: looking forward the dad oscar content
y/n.l/n posted two stories
liked by mclaren, yourbestfriend and 14,801 others
caption- race day !!
replies
user23: manifesting an oscar win 🏆
y/n.l/n: vroom vroom
yourbestfriend: i'm coming over again (to see the girls)
y/n.l/n: aww i've missed you (so have the girls)
francisca.cgomes: missing you in the paddock
y/n.l/n: miss you too
liked by mclaren, lilymhe and 23,014 others
caption- i don't think the girls are as invested as me yet 🤔
replies
yourbestfriend: i'm speeding to get there they are so cute
y/n.l/n: omg be safe please
user24: i wish i was freya or ruby
mclaren: living their best life
oscarpiastri
liked by y/n.l/n, yourbestfriend and 418,329 others
tagged: y/n.l/n
oscarpiastri: babies day out
comments
user25: they are 6 months old and are literally living my dream life
liked by oscarpiastri and y/n.l/n
user26: don't mind me i'm just going to find a cliff to jump off x
y/n.l/n: the best type of days
oscarpiastri: especially with you
user27: he's so disgustingly in love
user28: y/n could make anyone act like that
user29: osc is his girl's personal photographer
user30: we love him for that though
user31: we need our y/n, ruby and freya content
yourbestfriend: all three of my girls are looking adorable 🥰
oscarpiastri: my girls
yourbestfriend: know your place x
liked by y/n.l/n
oscarpiastri: Y/N!?
landonorris: when are you letting me babysit 😠😠
oscarpiastri: ...soon
landonorris: YOU HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR 2 MONTHS
landonorris: its never going to happen is it
user32: poor lando
lilymhe: hot mama 😘
y/n.l/n: stop i'm blushing and giggling rn
oscarpiastri: damn everyone is trying to steal my girl today 😔
user33: she is hot tho
liked by oscarpiastri
y/n.l/n
liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 438,623 others
tagged: oscarpiastri
y/n.l/n: the dad oscar content you have all been waiting for xx
comments
y/n.l/n: my husband is so so hot 🥵🥵🥵
user34: no need to rub it in
user35: how does it feel to live my dream
y/n.l/n: it feels amazing 😘
user36: thank you y/n we all say in unison
user37: thank you y/n
user38: thank you y/n
landonorris: thank you y/n
y/n.l/n: get out of here 🤨
user39: never beating the twinkclaren accusations
user40: foaming at the mouth
user41: oscar with his babies i'm going to combust
oscarpiastri: i'm putting the second picture in my wallet
y/n.l/n: you're so cute i'm sobbing 🩷
user42: he's so girl dad
liked by y/n.l/n
user43: he's so daddy
y/n.l/n: well yes actually
oscarpiastri: oh-
landonorris: my eyes!!
oscarpiastri
liked by yourbestfriend, mclaren and 346,717 others
tagged: y/n.l/n
oscarpiastri: date night (thank you to logan for looking after the girls)
comments
user44: waiting patiently for lando's breakdown
y/n.l/n: my date is so fit 😍😍
liked by oscarpiastri
landonorris: WHAT
landonorris: HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME
landonorris: do you want me to cry
y/n.l/n: we texted you...
oscarpiastri: yeah we wanted 2 people to look after them since it was the first time leaving them without family
landonorris: what!?!??
user45: i can feel his devastation through the screen
georgerussell63: he's been bitching about this for so long and he didn't see the message 😂😂
landonorris: leave me alone 🖕
user46: my favs
logansargeant: the girls had so much fun with their favorite uncle
landonorris: 😢😢
carmenmmundt: you better have bought her the flowers
alexandrasaintmleux: you better have treated her like a princess
oscarpiastri: ofc only the best for my girl
oscarpiastri posted a story
liked by y/n.l/n, mclaren and 34,521 others
caption: one year of loving you two 🧡
replies
user47: i think i can finally tell who is who
user48: wait no
y/n.l/n: our babies are growing up
oscarpiastri: maybe we should have another then
y/n.l/n: when the girls turn 2 we can talk about it
oscarpiastri: i guess we will just have to practice until then
y/n.l/n: when do you get home?🤭
y/n.l/n
liked by oscarpiastri, mclaren and 567,308 others
tagged: oscarpiastri
y/n.l/n: happy 1st birthday to my babies STOP GROWING THEY ARE GETTING SO BIG I CAN'T HANDLE THIS 😫😫
comments
user49: i'm so invested in the piastri twins i'm crying at their birthday post 🥲🥲
user50: we are witnessing piastri world domination 💪
yourbestfriend: where has the time gone
y/n.l/n: i swear they were born last week
oscarpiastri: they are growing up so fast 🩷
y/n.l/n: i've been crying about this all week
user51: she is all of us
user52: i just know their birthday party was banging
landonorris: the cake was amazing
mclaren: are ruby and freya enjoying their presents?
y/n.l/n: they love them!! thank you mclaren 🧡
a/n - thank you for reading i hope you enjoyed and as always any feedback is apppreciated <3
#f1#formula 1#oscar piastri#op81#f1 x y/n#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri social media au#oscar piastri smau#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri fluff#op81 x reader#op81 imagine#oscar piastri x y/n#🏎️
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match my freak | yuki tsunoda social media au
pairing: yuki tsunoda x fem rugby player reader
there's only one person who can match the yuki tsunoda radio freak...
MAIN MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
.・゜゜・ part of the aston martini summer olympics ・゜゜・.
yukitsunoda0511
liked by pierregasly, danielricciardo and 384,098 others
tagged: yourusername
yukitsunoda0511: spa was fine i guess, time to spend my summer break in france (ew) supporting the love of my life (yay)
view all comments
user1: 'fine i guess' as if we didn't get YOINTS
user2: tbf if my gf looked like that, points also wouldn't matter to me
pierregasly: FRANCE (EW)??? DID OUR HOMOEROTIC TENSION MEAN NOTHING???
yukitsunoda0511: oh so when i diss france we had homoerotic tension but when i said we were boyfriends i went too far 🤨
pierregasly: diss me all you want but not the homeland?
yukitsunoda0511: fine, i will from 5pm tomorrow
pierregasly: ???
yukitsunoda0511: because y/n will be there and therefore it will be the ONLY country in existence
pierregasly: i give up
user3: i need a man this down bad for me asap
user4: maybe it's time to lower my height requirements :(
yourusername: it's not how tall you are but how you are tall
user5: idk what the fuck that means
yourusername: IT MEANS SHORT KINGS PUT IN A LOT OF EFFORT WHY DO I HAVE TO SPELL OUT EVERYTHING? WHERE IS THE MEDIA LITERACY? THE READ COMPREHENSION?
user6: okay i think i now know ^^ why y/n and yuki are so good together
user7: i need someone to edit together their most iconic on field and radio moments together please for my mental health
yourusername: that's a crazy coincidence because the love of MY life will also be in paris 🤨
yukitsunoda0511: well i bet i love my love of my life more than you love your love of your life
yourusername: NUH UH
yukitsunoda0511: yep :PPPPPPP
yourusername: u wanna fight?
yukitsunoda0511: yes actually!
yourusername: well soz babe i can't get all hot and bothered before competing 🤷♀️
yukitsunoda0511: BORING
yourusername
liked by danielricciardo, pierregasly and 318,905 others
tagged: yukitsunoda
yourusername: seeing yuki again: 10/10 ... realising he's not allowed in the olympic village and there's only cardboard beds anyway -100,000/10
view all comments
user12: so i suddenly understand why they give out so many condoms at the olympics
user13: why do they all go so feral?
yourusername: have you seen my man?
yourusername: AND THAT'S A RHETORICAL QUESTION TO SHOW OFF MY HANDSOME LITTLE MAN NOT AN INVITATION FOR YOU BITCHES TO THIRST
user14: noted 😔
pierregasly: i'm the one with a bad digital footprint but you're out here being just as horny as me on main
yourusername: i am allowed to ?
pierregasly: and i'm not allowed to?
yourusername: no
pierregasly: so fuck me i guess?
yourusername: let me be a woman in a male dominated field (being gross online)
yukitsunoda0511: yeah pierre stop trying to minimise womens' voices
pierregasly: how am i the bad guy again?
yourusername: man ❤️
pierregasly: yuki is a man?
yourusername: he's MY man which means he's been closely vetted and is basically one of the girls now
user14: i know visa cashapp rb or whatever the fuck they're called hate to see them coming
user15: it's the fact she's taller than most of the mechanics and she is always watching over them
yukitsunoda0511: i missed you so much but i can't wait to watch you beat the shit out of the competition
yourusername: for you, anything
yukitsunoda0511: a gold? so at least one of us can be world champion 🥺
yourusername: i'll win gold for you and then schedule in a friendly visit to see helmut
yukitsunoda0511: i think your mere presence could give him a heart attack
yourusername: oh well
user16: so real of her
olympics
liked by yukitsunoda0511, landonorris and 1,209,678 others
tagged: newzealandrubgy
olympics: the women's rugby final saw gold go home to new zealand!
view all comments
user17: okay yuki i am SEEING THE VISION
user18: i watched this game to see her and i am a changed woman
user19: i am no better than a man
danielricciardo: my personal favourite moment was when y/n clotheslined that poor girl, laughed in her face and said if she tried to get past her again she'd make trinket dishes out of her knee caps
yourusername: why thank you, i think my wit is my least appreciated part of my game
danielricciardo: i think we should honestly get you in the commentary box
yourusername: i'd make mince meat of crofty, he'd never say anything about yuki's radios again
danielricciardo: can you tell them to stop telling me to retire while you're at it?
yourusername: sure, i'm feeling generous
danielricciardo: a gold medal will do that to you
user20: so they weren't joking when they said that her and yuki are just the same person in different fonts ?
user21: my commentary team apologised about 20 times for her swearing on the broadcast but then they kept bursting out laughing whenever she said anything
yukitsunoda0511: HOLY FUCKING SHIT
yukitsunoda0511: GOAT GOAT GOAT MY GIRLFRIEND IS THE GOAT
yukitsunoda0511: i'm so proud, i love you y/n 🫶🏻🥹❤️🩹
yourusername: i love you too boo
yukitsunoda0511: can they let me in the room now? i'm getting withdrawal symptoms :(
yourusername: of course, i can't celebrate properly without you
yukitsunoda0511: 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄
user22: picturing yuki waiting outside the team room is so cute
user23: the nz team instagram posted a pic of it on their story he had flowers and balloons (∩˃o˂∩)♡
yukitsunoda0511
liked by pierregasly, maxverstappen1 and 893,401 others
tagged: yourusername
yukitsunoda0511: she matches my freak :)
view all comments
user25: oh believe me we know
user26: i'm like a confusing mix of scared AND turned on
yukitsunoda0511: you keep that to yourself
user27: okay sir 🤨
yukitsunoda0511: you can look but you can't touch :P
yukitsunoda0511: actually don't even look
yukitsunoda0511: don't even think about her ( 。 •̀ ᴖ •́ 。)
user28: this man is insane, i love him
yourusername: you LIKE HIM YOU APPRECIATE HIM FROM AFAR YOU MAYBE HAVE A PARASOCIAL RELATIONSHIP YOU DON'T LOVE HIM THAT'S FOR ME AND ME ONLY
user29: oh they weren't joking about matching each other's freaks
yourusername: there's no one else i'd like to be a lil gremlin with :3
yukitsunoda0511: gremlins forever with you <3
yourusername: sounds like paradise to me !!
yukitsunoda0511: i'm on it ✍🏻
user30: is he going to propose ???
user31: hopefully (ㅅ •᷄ ₃•᷅ )
pierregasly: yeah i guess you guys are kinda cute
yukitsunoda0511: kINDA?
yourusername: i know this man ain't speaking on us
yourusername: kika is the face economy in that relationship
yourusername: her back must hurt from carrying the style in this couple
francisca.cgomez: well 🥹
pierregasly: WHAT ? HOW ?
yukitsunoda0511: don't call my girlfriend kinda cute then 🤨
user32: good lord
fin.
note: she's back !!!!!
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 x you#f1#f1 social media au#yuki tsunoda instagram au#yuki tsunoda x you#yuki tsunoda x reader#yuki tsunoda imagine#yuki tsunoda
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