#also how we meant to even test?! free kits got taken away!

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Boris Johnson telling us its down to us what we do if we test positive covid, when taking away the restrictions.....this feels like the start of a hellfire movie. 

[13uswntimagines]

Our Troublemaker (USWNT x Baby!reader)

Request: uswnt x reader where reader gets into some trouble at a pride event they all go to, when they get back to hotel reader is punished and then fluff and cuddles to end

Author’s Note: Special thanks to @literaryhedgehog​ for her addition of fluff and mediation of my crazy thoughts. So this universe can be taken several different ways, as i didn’t explicitly define it. Feel free to interpret it in your favorite context. Also, I would totally be down for continuing this universe... Hit me up with Questions, comments or if you just wanna say hi!

You hadn’t meant to start a fight. Well, that was a half-truth. You had totally meant to tell that ignorant ass that he was being a homophobic dishrag. What you hadn’t meant was for him to punch you in the face, and the team to get involved in defending you from his drunk ass. So here you were, being carried over Lindsey’s shoulder back towards your hotel. 

You wiggled again in a vain attempt to get her to put you down. “Come on Linds, I can walk,”

“Yeah, you couldn’t be trusted to stand with Mal for 5 seconds on your own, and you might have a concussion,” Alex answered for the blond, and sent you a glare that oozed “try me,”

 “I don’t have a concussion, and I couldn’t let him talk to Mal like that,” You pouted up at her raised eyebrow. It was tough considering you were over someone’s shoulder, but you managed. 

“Next time you wanna show off for your girlfriend, try not to pick a fight with a guy four times your size,” Kelley laughed, patting your lower back. You frowned. Mal wasn’t your girlfriend. Yet. 

“I didn’t think he would hit me,” You grumbled, flopping down, Lindsey gripped your legs harder so she didn’t drop you on your head. That was all you guys needed right now. 

“Well he did, so let’s get you back to the hotel trouble,” Alex said, pointing towards the building down the street. Lindsey nodded, swinging you around as she turned and began to walk that way again. 

“I’m not trouble,” you complained

“No it just follows you everywhere, and has earned you no ice cream tonight,” Kelley rolled her eyes. 

“I’m not Sonnett, ice cream isn’t the love of my life,” you said, trying to act like you weren't pouting. So maybe the team treated some of the youngins like they were a little younger than their age. You all loved it, and you craved the structure it brought to your life. 

“Wanna make it for the rest of the week?” Alex asked, with her signature eyebrow arch. You grumbled back a no, along with several inaudible complaints. You knew how creative the woman could be with her punishments and you really didn’t want to test her. Your face hurt and you really just wanted to bury your head under a pillow and scream. You had protected Mal, you shouldn’t be in trouble. 

Your pout was strong all the way to the hotel and up the elevator, not wavering at all until Lindsey set you down in the corner of Alex’s room. You tilted your head at the woman in confusion. 

“This isn’t my room.”

“No, it’s not. You get 10 minutes in the corner for putting yourself in danger,” Alex said, her arms crossed across her chest. 

“I didn’t put myself in danger. I just told that dude to lay off. We were in an outdoor bar, there were plenty of people around. I thought societal convention would trap that dude into not making a scene.”

“No, you got punched in the face and almost had a beer bottle smashed over your head to impress a girl who already has a massive crush on you,” Alex exclaimed. 

“She does?” You asked, eyes wide. 

“Not the point Y/n,” Kelley shook her head. 

“The fact is, you engaged with a drunk homophobe on your own. There are times to engage, and that was not one of them. Now sit!” Alex said, dragging a chair to the corner and pointing at it, “your time out starts now.”

You sat down wordlessly, staring down at your hands. You knew that there was no getting out of this one. One of them had a scrape on the palm from where you had landed on the gravel. 

The minutes seemed to drag by, and you fidgeted more and more with every passing second, picking at the cuts on your hands. 

There was a knock on the door. “Stay,” Alex commanded, looking at her watch, “you still have two minutes left.” Behind you, you heard someone go to the door and open it. 

“I got your text,” Becky’s voice came from the doorway. You slouched in your chair, partially from embarrassment, partially from relief. They hadn’t called the medics. And at least they hadn’t called Carli, she duct-taped an ice pack to you the last time you got a bruise. But still, you hated that more people would know that you had gotten yourself into trouble again. “I brought a first aid kit and an ice pack. Also some duct tape, in case she tries to escape.”

 You shook your head, not finding the comment funny. You weren’t going to try and escape, your face was throbbing by this point, and you would rather they took care of you then leave you to fend off Jill and Dawn by yourself.

Alex’s watch beeped three times, signaling the end to your time out. You sighed in relief. Sitting still was never your strongest suit. 

“Come sit on the bed, Y/N,” Becky said, pulling Lindsey’s comforter straight and opening up the first aid kit on one side of it. You blinked twice, staring at the spot. You never liked getting fixed by the medics, and Lindsey’s bed looked lonely. 

“Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven.” You looked at Lindsey in confusion, as she started counting. “Three. Two One. That’s it.” Lindsey picked you up and sat down with you on the bed, situating you in her lap. 

You started to move and realized she had grabbed your hands and pulled them across your chest, essentially putting you in a human straightjacket. 

“Sit still and let Broon make sure you are alright you absolute badger of a human being. You are a great defender, on and off the field Y/n. But it won’t kill you to let someone else take care of you for once.”

You huffed and sunk down in Lindsey’s lap, finally stopping your struggle to get free. It was going to happen whether you wanted it to or not. 

Becky shined a flashlight in your eyes and wiped down a cut on your lip with an antiseptic wipe. You winced slightly. 

“Hand.” 

Lindsey let go of one of your arms so you could put your scraped palm into Becky’s outstretched hand. She wiped it down with gentle strokes, checking to make sure there wasn’t any gravel pieces still in it. 

She nodded at Lindsey who released you and pushed you lightly next to her on the bed. Becky stood up from her crouch, slapping her hands on her jeans as she did. She went over to the dresser where she had set a small bag of ice and brought it over to you as Kelley sat down on the other side of you. 

Alex picked up the chair you had spent your time out in and placed it in front of you, straddling the back of the chair and leaning on it’s back as she looked at you. “Do you understand why we’re upset with you Y/n?” While she spoke, Becky perched on the bed and folded her hands in her lap. 

“Yes, but I wasn’t going to let him hurt Mal,” You mumbled, playing with your fingers. Yes you had been reckless, and probably could have ended up in way worse shape, but you weren’t going to let him disrespect the two of you like that. Her like that. 

“Love, we are so proud of you for standing up like that. You shouldn’t have to deal with hatred from strangers for being who you are,” Becky started softly. 

 “But you are going to have to deal with a lot of it in your life. And we need you to promise you won’t confront someone like that alone.” Alex finished seriously. They would never be able to get the image of little you standing toe to toe with a 6-foot tall man out of their heads. 

“There’s a reason we’re called a team. We work together, back each other up. And strength in numbers is usually more convincing to the average asshole bully than a lone ranger. Let us defend you sometimes.” Kelley chimed in, nudging you with her elbow.

“And if you’re alone, walk away. It sucks, but it’s better to live another day than die on your sword. You can't win every battle, and the world is a much better place with you in it,” Lindsey said, squeezing you in a sideways hug.  

“Fine, I won’t provoke any more dishrags,” you said, in mock exasperation. 

Kelley snorted, and you saw Alex’s lips twitch slightly as she nodded, “Good.” You would always be their troublemaker, but at least they knew you would try. Even if it was only for a little while. 

You snuggled deeper into Lindsey and Kelley, smiling as Alex joined Kelley’s side. The room was quiet for a few minutes before you blurt out a sleepy “Do you think Mal will think I’m more badass now that I have a scar?” 

Becky laughed, standing to pack away her first aid things. “Oh yes, the most badass. Now if you’ll excuse me cuddle bug, I should get back to my room. I have my own troublemaker to attend to.” She walked to the doorway and paused turning back to you. “One more thing. Y/n? You have to spend the night in here for observation. Doctor’s orders.”

“Those are agreeable terms I guess,” You shrugged. That had been your plan anyway. 

“My cuddles are better than just agreeable,” Kelley huffed, bumping your cheek with her nose. 

“Of course they are squirrel,” Alex laughed, kissing her temple. 

Yes, you were a troublemaker, but you were their troublemaker. 

[joshslater]

Quarantine & VR

5500-word story, so I used the Keep Reading feature for once. Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon.

“Are you sure you’re OK with this?”

We were slowly driving through an eerily empty city center from my student flat next to campus on one side of town to Ethan’s flat on the other, with all my belongings stuffed in the back of the U-Haul. Not that I had so much stuff we needed one. I just moved into the state right before the semester started, but it was the cheapest rental we could get. No one is going anywhere with this lockdown in effect. We barely had time to read the syllabus before everything screeched to a halt. You thought we’d know by now how to handle pandemics, but nooo.

“I wouldn’t have helped you clear out your shit if I wasn’t. Bit late to ask now.” “Yeah, but it seemed like the polite thing to do.”

Ethan turned towards me and spoke with a more serious tone. “I’m really happy to have you stay at my place. I think I would go mad staying alone. Go mad or go home, and I don’t think being locked up with the parents would be better.”

He was about as new in the city as I was, but his aunt had moved out of an old apartment last year and his parents had decided to take over the lease. Apparently it was even cheaper than the student apartments and much larger, but further away from campus. Though where it was in the city didn’t really matter as long as this lockdown was going on.

“Someone else is out at least”, I said indicating out the window. Across the street, a police officer with a navy blue face mask followed our truck with his eyes. Or her eyes I guess. Hard to tell in uniform and mask. I don’t know why, but I found it a rather good look. I hate the flimsy paper masks, but these form-fitted ones kind of make you look more badass.

“Do you think he looks sexy like that?” he asked, as if he had the same thought. “It’s a bit dystopian sci-fi, but that’s not to say it doesn’t look good.” “Take next right. The one after is one way.”

The apartment had two bedrooms, a large living room, decent bathroom and kitchen. Ethan’s aunt had left some furniture, but overall there wasn’t that much stuff. Makes sense as he had barely been here a month. That’s how he had a sparsely furnished extra bedroom for me to use. This was only the second time I had been in the apartment. Ethan forced me to have a look in person before he allowed me to agree to stay with him. Now standing there with all my belongings in the truck outside and my student flat lease canceled, I realized we really didn’t know each other. I studied corporate finance and he medical computer science, whatever that meant. When I asked he tried to explain that almost everything in a hospital now has a computer in it, and a ton of work went into things like volumetric renderings of MRI scans and somewhere there I started to tune him out.

There really weren’t any overlapping circles between us, we studied completely different subjects, he was active in computer games and health, I was trying to get into the writing room of the student theatre company and looking to sign up in the cinema club. But both of us had the bright idea to start working in the student pub, and really hit it off during the start of school year party they threw for their workers. We decided to pick the same work schedule and found out we have the same taste in pop culture, music, books, movies.

And now I’m moving in with him.

He had the larger of the bedrooms with a queen-size bed in the middle, a desk with a few computers and screens set up, gaming computer chair, a reading chair. Basically his room was set up so he could live there except for visits to the kitchen and bathroom. My room didn’t have a desk, but a normal bed, an armchair that looked comfortable, and more wardrobe space than I would ever need. He told me that I could basically consider the living room as mine as well. It had two couches in front of a big flat screen. By the balcony door stood a workout bench and weights. Barbell, plates, dumbbells, and that kind of stuff. Apparently it wasn’t Ethan’s but his uncle’s, but that didn’t really make a difference here and now.

Moving my stuff only took a few runs up the stairs, so we were soon back in the truck, returning it to the rental place. Ethan really didn’t have to come with me, but he said that this would probably be the last adventure for a while, and decided to come along.

“You’re supposed to buy pizza and beer for everyone who helps you move, right? What do you fancy?” “I’d like… You know what? We’re not going to get out much, and you don’t look like someone on a strict diet. Oh, no offense!” “None taken.” “How about we both keep healthy macros and workout regimen while locked up. Instead of paying rent you can help me make sure I at least isn’t in worse shape when all this shit ends.” “Macros?” “Diet.” “Sure I can do that, if you show me what to do.” “It’s a deal then. I’d like one with Gorgonzola and ham.” “Come again?” “The pizza topping. I’m allowed one cheat day per pandemic.”

The pizza place was only a block away from the apartment. Just this one time it was great, as we walked back with one quattro formaggi and one bresaola. But it would be so much harder to eat whatever Ethan had in his plans knowing a real wood fire oven pizza was just four minutes walk away.

Unprompted Ethan started to tell his story over pizza. How his father was a successful businessman in Arkansas, but his hometown always felt too small for him. He talked about how he was making synth music in school. How that made him interested in computers. How, since it was such a small town, he had ended up on the football team without any desire or skill to actually play the game. How he had almost by accident found this education program and had looked forward to both leave Arkansas and to study. I too did a year be year recap of my life so far, up to how my girlfriend dumped me just before the summer. In a way that was lucky, because it made me feel free from obligations and actually do what I wanted.

It was 9:21 when I woke up from a knock on the door. I was a bit disoriented for a second until I remembered where I was. I was sleeping in the guest bed left by Ethan’s aunt. After the pizza we did continue to talk over beer all evening, but I didn’t feel any hangover. Just thirsty. It wasn’t that early in the morning anymore on the other hand. “Yep” I called out. “I’m making breakfast,” Ethan called out from the other side of the door. “Coming”.

It literally only took me seconds to get ready. Stand up. Sweatpants. T-shirt. Done. In the kitchen I saw Ethan had a similar fashion sense, but had gone for shorts instead. “Porridge is fine with you? It would be good if it is. Lots of fibers.” I couldn’t really recall if I liked porridge and told him as much. The porridge itself didn’t taste much, but with toppings I could get used to it. “With our schedule in our own hands I think it would be a good idea to start out with breakfast and work out. That way we can get it out of the way.” Sounded sensible enough.

I changed into shorts as well and made myself ready to do my part of becoming Ethan’s gym buddy. At a quick glance we didn’t look that different, Ethan and I. On one hand I never had that big of an appetite, but on the other I had never really done any sports, and had no gym experience, so I let Ethan guide me. He tested different motions and how many times I could do them with weights he selected and noted down the results in a notebook that would log my progress. It wasn’t at all as tiring as I thought it would be. “Oh, you’ll feel it tomorrow for sure.” We each took a shower, and I went back to my room to catch up on my reading.

A few hours later I was starting to think about lunch. More because I was getting tired of reading than actually being hungry, but I thought I should ask Ethan if he had a plan. The door to his room was open, but as I got closer it became apparent it was an oversight on his part. Splayed on the bed was Ethan, naked save for a pair of boxer shorts and a big VR goggles. His right hand was massaging his obviously erect dick through the fabric of his underwear. He must have followed his normal routine and forgotten I had moved in. I’m not a prude and do the occasional tug myself, like any student, so I was more embarrassed than shocked. As on autopilot, my mind decided to ignore Ethan and continue walking to the kitchen to assess the lunch situation, but another part of my brain decided to keep him in sight.

Walking without watching in an apartment I’ve been in for all of 18 hours predictably made me jam my toe into the door frame. In the corner of my eye I could see Ethan’s body spasm and ripping off his VR goggles as I yell out in pain and surprise. He stared right at me, eyes wide open and mouth ajar in an expression that was hard to read. Surprise for sure, but also something else in between horror and delight. Perhaps it was like the smiles and laughter after you have completely made a fool of yourself. My eyes were drawn to his, and I could feel my face twisted in pain. It was like time stood still, waiting for either of us to make the next move. Out of sheer momentum my mind continued ahead as if nothing had changed and blurted out “What’s your plan for lunch?” over whatever Ethan said at the same time.

“What?” and an awkward pause again. “I said would you like to try?” “I… What is it?”

Ethan put down the VR kit on the bed, quickly got up and stepped into his pair of shorts. His erection was still very much apparent. He pressed escape on one of the keyboards and the screen switched from one incomprehensible menu to another.

“It’s a virtual reality system. I’m using an open source environment system to render inputs from an interactive story engine controlled by a GAN AI system. I’ve been experimenting with regenerative NLP feedback loop plugins for it.” “I followed you all the way up to and including virtual reality system.” “It’s like a VR movie that is generated specifically for you. Here.”

He picked up the bulky goggles and held it out to me. It wasn’t just goggles, but a pair of headphones were built in, and there were a few additional sensors glued on. Hesitantly, and with a throbbing toe, I stepped forward and took the headset. It wasn’t as heavy as it looked. I put it on my head and as it settled into place a digital version of Ethan’s room wobbled into place as well. It was remarkably similar. The colors and patterns were all slightly wrong, but the layout of the room and placement of furniture was almost spot on. I assume he had measured everything at one point and put in the data somehow.

“Go lie on the bed.” Ethan told me. I very tentatively stepped towards the bed, and feeling my way there. It was somehow surprised to find a bed where the digital bed was, and although the visuals of the sheets didn’t quite line up with what I felt, if you just moved quick enough the illusion of actually being in the digital room felt very real.

“This is so weird.” “I’ll start a blank session for you.” “A what?”

Almost immediately a guy entered the room through the door frame. This must be some VR video recording or something because he looked completely real. About the same age as Ethan and I but more fit and, I’ll admit, better looking. He looked flush and sweaty, with his french crop unkempt as if he had just ruffled it. He wore a navy blue sweatshirt and sweatpant shorts. I couldn’t see further down from my position. “Fuck, that was so dope! I love getting pump like that, you know what I’m saying” He was stretching his arms in different ways. Then he zoned in on me, like he was actually looking me over. “Fuck, I love how you look, babe. Mind if I join?” I shake my head slowly. He breaks out in a big smile. I notice he has a bit of a sweatpants boner. Carefully he climbs into bed, next to me. There’s no vibrations of course, or heat or smell, but everything I see looks utterly convincing.

“Hey, are you OK?” “What the…”

I’m looking into Ethan’s face as he stands over me. Bewildered I pat my head.

“I removed it once the program stopped. Didn’t shake you from your sleep one bit. I guess it wasn’t that interesting for you.” “It was very convincing. I fell asleep?” “Perhaps moving stressed you more than you knew? Or it could just be, you know, how shit the world is right now.” “Fuck… I only wanted to ask about lunch.” “A bit late for that. It’s like four and something. Let’s wait an hour or two more and have dinner. Ok with you?” “Sounds dope.”

It was like neither of us wanted to talk about what had happened. I certainly had questions. Had I just fallen asleep like that? Perhaps he was right and I had been anxious about the move and how things would work out. And what was up with that program? It wasn’t gay, exactly, and it didn’t mean Ethan was gay, and if he was there wasn’t anything wrong with that. All of it was just so confusing. Perhaps Ethan was right to just pretend it didn’t happen. Poor guy. I walked in on him watching porn, and then I fell asleep when he tried to show his system. Watching the news on how ever more countries were shutting down was probably time better spent.

He had not joked about being sore in the morning. I woke earlier than in weeks feeling stiff as hell. I didn’t want to wake Ethan, but I couldn’t just lie there in agony, so I got up and did some bodyweight repetitions. Squats, push-ups, dips, and stuff like that just to get some blood flowing. It honestly felt great. Me doing morning gymnastics! Who would have guessed that a week ago? When I left my room I found out Ethan was already up, but didn’t want to wake me up.

“Dude, we need to sort that shit out. I’m ok with you making noise when you’re up. You live here.” “You live here too. What if whoever gets up first makes breakfast and wakes the other up.” “Yeah, dope. I’m down with that.”

We quickly worked out the kinks in our schedule. I would typically wake up first, do a quick workout routine in my room. Then set the breakfast and wake up Ethan. Then we would do workout together. We had different weights and number of reps, but we had very quickly settled on the same exercises, though Ethan was still adjusting my form ever so often. Ethan would then shower first while I did stretches. We then kept to ourselves until lunch. Ethan cooked for both of us. Depending on what we felt like and needed we would either go back to study or do something like shopping or that kind of stuff in the afternoon.

It was hard to keep track of time, but I think it was on a Sunday four weeks later when Ethan said during breakfast that he wanted to show me something he had worked on. He moved the workout bench and the barbell stuff to just outside his room and told me to lie down. The bar had no plates on it, and that’s how I’ve used it until two days ago when I started to add extra weight to it. Ethan emerged out of his room with the VR set in hand, and a trail of cables running in into one of his computers. “Here, give this a go.”

I was a bit surprised, given the last time, but I was also curious what he had to show. Once snugly fitted on my head I was transported into a real gym. It wasn’t a very large one, but a few people did their thing around me. He almost scared me, the guy with the french crop, when he called out “Hey, bro!” just to my left. He had the same navy blue sweatpant shorts as the last time, but his upper body was bare, glistening muscles. He took a step back and his eyes were scanning me up and down. “Dude, you look so fucking good! You’ve really been hitting the weights.” I smiled and immediately realized that I was smiling at an avatar that wasn’t actually there and couldn’t see me, but it’s amazing how good some positive reinforcement feels, even if it is from a program. Perhaps that was the surprise from Ethan.

“Here, show me what you got!”

He walked around me, through the couch I knew was there in the real room, and stood behind me. I leaned back fully on the bench and looked up. He stood over me, just behind my head, so all I saw was a navy blue bulge, some abs and pecs, and his face looking down on me. “Go on, I’ve got you.” I could somehow feel him standing over me. Was Ethan spotting me in the real world? Not that it matters with an empty bar. I grabbed it. It felt heavy. “Good. Give me 15.” He started counting as I lifted. “Slower on the way down. Keep control all the way. Ten more” As I was getting to fifteen he upped it a bit. “Come one! Five more!” As I sat the bar back I felt utterly exhausted. “Fucking awesome, dude!”

“You really went all out.” “What?”

I was lying on the workout bench but I wasn’t wearing any VR shit. I sat up and hit my head in the barbell.

“Fuck! Dude, what the hell!” “The idea was for it to be motivational, but you really took it to heart.” “It was fucking dope, bro. I’m so pumped. Guy was kind of cute too.” “You think?” “Fuck, yeah. I wish I had those pecs.” “You better start some supplements then, if you can’t even last a virtual session.” “What you mean, dude?” “It’s already lunch.” “Fuck dammit!”

I rubbed my head where I had hit it and looked around the room. It looked mostly like before, but the sun had clearly moved ahead. Fuck, I really felt pumped to get some reps in hard and really make a difference. Perhaps lunch, and then do my daily sets.

“You ok with shopping without me after lunch?” “Sure. You need anything?” “I… You said supplements.”

Fortunately for me I have a roommate that studies medicine, kind of. Well, he hasn’t actually gone to any of the classes yet, but he has the books, so he picked out some things for me to boost me. Some of it looked like medicine, in small plastic jars with scientific-sounding names that could just as well have been a frat house. Alpha-omega-manganese-BS-whatever. Some of it decidedly did not look like medicine. Enormous containers with lids that looked too fucking small, with names like amazing-gainz-ultra. He set up a regimen for me to follow, basically some stuff with every meal. I started right away that evening with something like a vanilla and chalk milkshake after dinner. I don’t know why, but something made me feel really good drinking it.

I slept fucking fantastic, and despite having done way more lifting the day before than ever I barely felt any soreness or anything. I probably woke up Ethan with my harder than normal pre-breakfast cardio. Lots of burpees and jumping jacks, so I almost felt guilty making breakfast while steaming sweaty, but whatever. Ethan had to remind me what supplements to take. I really should have written that shit down.

I had a strong deja vu while doing weights. It wasn’t until Ethan spotted barbell for me I realized that this was almost exactly what I had seen doing the VR shit. I looked up and saw Ethan standing over me similar to the guy, but Ethan was wearing grey sweatpant shorts and a red tank. I kind of wished he was topless as well, like the other guy.

“You ok down there?” “Fucking dope, bro”

I realized I must have zoned out a bit. What’s worse I could feel I rocked a hard erection out of nowhere. Rather than making a deal out of it, and run to the shower, I decided to pretend like everything is normal. Guys get boners all the times. He’s a guy, so he knows that. I even did a few extra exercises to really drive home that point. While Ethan took his shower I dared to lower my shorts and slowly stroke my dick. I haven’t cummed once since moving in with Ethan, which I realized was longer than I’ve gone in years. The days were blurring together. I hadn’t watched porn either since moving in. I’ve been too preoccupied with the move and everything else going on.

“All yours” Ethan said and closed the door to his room. I just froze. I was sitting on the workout bench, shorts by my ankles and dick in hand. He saw that. There is no way he didn’t see that. I could feel my face getting hot by embarrassment, yet I continued to sit there and stroke my dick. What the fuck is wrong with me. My mind flashed to Ethan, to the guy in the VR, to his bulge just above my eyes, to his abs to the barbell, to the free weights.

No. I got up and took a long shower, trying really hard to not think about anything. Just observing the tiles, the shampoo bottles, the soap. But there were the creeping thoughts that perhaps Ethan will find me a weird creep and kick me out. How would he do it? He’s been far too nice to be direct. Would he bring up this incident or would he just wait a week or something and over one lunch say something vague like we are not as good of a match as he hoped? Fuck. I needed to do something.

I couldn’t concentrate at all on the block on taxation I was supposed to read. Apart from the residual thoughts of unease I was beginning to see what a mistake it was to not cum in the shower. I was very close to surfing porn sites, but decided against it and ended up aimlessly browsing social media. I can’t really explain how, a hundred clicks that trended in that direction perhaps, but I got into the circles of fitness instagram people. Big arms, broad chests, and slinky stringers. Somehow I was hard again. Stealthily I walked back to the bathroom, locked the door, and started to jerk off in the shower. I’d been saving for a week and been hot all day, but somehow it took quite a while to shoot the load. My mind was a soup of barbells, Ethan, sweatpant shorts, vague old porn clips, and more recent instagram models. When I finally came it was like I’ve never orgasmed before in my life. Rope after rope shot out of me, the first few even hit the wall, and my hips involuntary thrust forward for each of them. I felt cleansed in a way, like a weight had been lifted from me. I couldn’t really understand why, though. Nothing had really changed.

I didn’t want to go back to my room and study. I rinsed the shower, got a pad and a pen, and went to the kitchen to get on top of the supplements. I decided to write down all the ingredients from the labels. I had just accepted Ethan’s plan uncritically. It’s probably fine, but I wanted to understand it. That’s where Ethan found me.

“Hey, dude. Already hungry?” “Yeah… No… I don’t know, bro.” “You don’t know?” “It’s like… Fuck. You saw, bro.” “Saw what? You jerking off?” He laughed and sat down. “You saw me doing it first.”

He was right, of course. I didn’t know how that could have slipped my mind.

“Was it porn?” I didn’t know why I asked that. I was curious, but it also felt a bit too personal of a question. “Yeah. Wanna see?”

Before I even had time to respond he continued “Let’s fill up your macros first and then I can show you. If past experiences are any indications you’ll take your time.” “Already jacked off today.” Why did I tell him that? “Even better”

Ethan had this ever changing dish where he would chop and fry vegetables like bell pepper, chili, garlic, ginger, onion, peas, and whatever else was around, pour in coconut milk and whatever spices you craved that day green curry or red curry for Thai, madras curry for Indian, Soy and miso for Japanese, anise and szechuan for Chinese, saffron and parmesan for Italian, and so on. Then serve it with pasta or grains or rice. I helped him prepare it, as I always do unless he started making it without telling me. This time however the air was different, filled with tension and awkward anticipation. He made it with chicken, lemon grass, and brown rice this time. We hardly spoke a word while cooking, and then continued to eat in silence. We both knew what was on my mind, and there wasn’t any question on the subject that wouldn’t be awkward. I was weirdly looking forward to trying out whatever it was he wanted me to try. I couldn’t explain why it felt so compelling to me. Just thinking about it made me hard. “You clean up here and I’ll go and set it up for you,” he said as soon as his plate was empty. “Yeah,” was all I could manage, and he left. I finished my plate as well, put the few things we’ve used in the dishwasher and went to his room.

His bed was made and on it was the VR headset and what I first though was a protein drink shaker. “Dude, is that a… fleshlight?” I asked him both with incredulity and genuine curiosity. Curiosity because a cable ran from it to one of the boxes on the floor that connected to his computers, and incredulity because I couldn’t believe he thought I would use one of his sex toys.

“Yes. No. Not exactly. It’s modified to connect into the haptic subsystem.” “Haptic?” “Force feedback” “It’s a vibrator, bro.” “Eh.. No. Well, not only. You’ll see.” “Why do you think I’d touch that, bro?” Though somewhere inside I knew I would. “It’s a brand new inset. You’ll be fine.”

I walked up to the bed and suddenly wasn’t sure what to do. I would need to at least lower my shorts and boxers to get the until-recently-fleshlight on my dick, but Ethan was still in the room. Not only in the room but almost studying me like a lab project.

“I’ll lie down?” “Got to strip first,” he said motioning towards my tenting shorts. He saw me hesitated and continued “Dude, I just saw you jerk off in the living room this morning”. I blushed and pulled down my shorts and boxers, and stepped out of them. “Shirt too,” he said. I removed that as well and stood naked in front of him. “Wow, you are making progress. Ok, on the bed and hook yourself up. Red dot up.” I climbed into the bed, as he told me, and grabbed the cyber-fleshlight and pushed it down on my hard dick with the red dot up towards my head. There was some sort of lubrication in it and it slid on with very little effort. It must have been heated as well, because the lubrication didn’t make it feel cold. I was given a nod from Ethan and put on the helmet over my eyes and ears.

The alternative version of Ethan’s bedroom was already there, waiting for me. I looked around and as far as I could tell everything looked like in the real world, except no Ethan of course. After half a minute, perhaps more, I was almost about to ask if he had started it when the French crop guy jumped in through the doorway, as if he was in a hurry. He was naked except for a pair of white, tight speedos that both highlighted his big package and created a reference point for his deep tan and made it look even deeper. There was a sheen over all his body, like he had been working out hard or oiled himself up, and he was breathing heavy. “Sorry, I’m late. I didn’t expect you so soon,” he panted. I didn’t know what to say. “You want me to help you with that?” he asked and nodded towards my dick. I looked down and saw a massive erection, easily twice my real size. “As an apology…” he continued.

“Yeah, sure bro.”

He made the cutest little jump of joy in response, and caught my smile. He composed himself and locked eyes with me. Then he started some sort of dance where all the movement was in his hips and abs. Then he added more of the upper body, still keeping eye contact. I thought I would hose him down with cum from my monster penis right there, so sexy was it. He smirked and moved closer. Still swaying he leaned forward and licked the head of my dick, which shot pleasure up my spine. He then started to circle the head with his tongue, before taking it into his mouth. The first few times were shallow, but then he stopped teasing and begun to really do down deep on the dick. In addition I could feel him alternate between stroking my hips, the insides of my thighs, and tugging my balls. Just as I was about to nut he stopped working on my dick and started to slowly run his tongue up my faint abs, circling my nipple. I was squirming in horny delight.

He was straddling me now, face to face. I couldn’t resist it any longer and reached to pull him towards me and kiss him on the mouth. There was a loud crack of plastic against plastic as our VR helmets collided. “Dude?” I was looking at the French crop guy who was moving his hands in front of his eyes. “Ethan?” I asked, suddenly realizing what was going on. The French crop guy looked bashful, did a little wave, and answered in not-Ethan’s voice “Yeah.”

“Did you just blow me?” “I wasn’t… No, it’s still the device.” I hesitated, considering briefly what this would mean. “Would you like to?”

[mythicamagic]

The Colour of Love: Sesskag oneshot

This oneshot is dedicated to @chierafied​ as thanks for all her hard work and organisation in the sesskag community, particularly on tumblr for sesskag week and monthly prompts. She's also a wonderful sesskag author and always offers advice or a kind word ^^

Rated T

Summary: Shippo puts a spell on Kagome that allows her to see emotions in colour. It's fun to test out on her friends, but why is she seeing an awful lot of magenta around Sesshoumaru whenever she comes near? Sesskag oneshot

The Colour of Love

"I just need to test it on someone. You'll help, won't you?"

Kagome eyed the ominous glowing beverage in the fox's hands dubiously. She winced and picked up a basket, walking away with every intention of weaselling out of the conversation.

"Shippo, no offence, but the last time you tested something on me for class, horns sprouted out of my head and green pimples covered my face for an entire week. I'm not super keen on being your guinea pig this time, buddy."

His tail twitched and lowered, but her words did little to deter Shippo. He followed the miko as she attended to her chores; freeing swaying sheets from where they'd been hanging out to dry and folding them neatly into a basket.

"Oh pleeassee, Kagome! Sensei oversaw my casting process this time- there's no danger, honest! It's not even that cool of a spell."

Kagome arched a brow, lifting off another sheet and smoothing the cool creases. That was odd, Shippo always preferred the flashier spells. "What does it do?"

"It would let you see everyone's emotions in colour."

She tilted her head, "in colour? How would that work?"

Shippo grinned mischievously, holding up his cup and shaking it gently. "Wouldn't you like to find out?"

Giggling, she thought for a moment, biting her bottom lip. "I guess it sounds pretty harmless. And this is for a grade?"

"Yes!" he nodded rapidly, eyes widening as his tone became pleading. "Sensei already graded all the other kids! I'm the only one who hasn't passed yet, and everyone else in the village refuses to help me! I'd owe you big time, Kagome. Please?"

Giving a large, put-upon sigh and folding the last of the sheets, Kagome squatted down before him. "Alright, alright. I just have to drink it?"

Green eyes brightened, and he handed the cup over eagerly, the contents nearly spilling. "Mhm! The effects should only last for a few days~!"

The glowing blue shimmer within her cup didn't exactly fill Kagome with confidence, but she didn't want to stifle his progress. It was wonderful that Shippo could advance in his magic at a kitsune school. Secretly, she felt somewhat guilty about the subject. She hadn't been able to witness his growth for three years after being stuck in the future.

Steeling herself and deciding to support him, Kagome downed the foul-tasting concoction. Coughing and blinking away thick tears that stung her lashes, her tongue roved around in her mouth as though trying to escape the taste of sour candy mixed with spices and mint leaves. What an odd combination. Shaking herself and noticing Shippo watching her worriedly, blue eyes widened as a faint shade of grey coiled and moved around the outline of his body like a shining aura.

"I-I think I see it?" Kagome gasped, reaching out and trying to touch the thing, though it had no solid form.

"Really?" Shippo lit up, the colour immediately becoming a tentative yellow, which only shone brighter into a canary hue when she nodded.

Giving a happy cheer, Shippo asked her about any side effects, which were none as far as she could tell.

They then decided to walk around Kaede's village together, Kagome noting any people they passed by and the colour of their current emotions. Shippo hurriedly took notes.

"There's Miroku meditating-" Kagome pointed to the quiet meadow they passed where the monk sat calmly, having gained two pupils to teach. Monks in training. Inuyasha had voiced his doubts that it would last long once the monks witnessed Miroku's less than savoury habits.

"His aura thingy is lavender and seems controlled," she observed in a hushed tone.

The little kitsune made a noise of affirmation, writing that down on a trailing scroll. "I think purple must be linked with spirituality then? This is great info!"

Giggling, she nodded, noticing how faint the pupil's auras were. She wondered if her own focus on spirituality would be strong or weak.

Moving on, noticed Sango outside her hut, who seemed absorbed in rocking her infant son while he dozed. Her twins were playing with some spinning tops that Shippo had given them.

"What do ya see, Kagome?" he tugged at her pant leg.

She hummed, gaze gentling. "Sango is radiating a kind of baby pink glow. The twins are like yours earlier- yellow and excited."

"So I guess love is pink," Shippo nodded.

Noticing something, Kagome waved a hand slightly. "Hold on-"

"Hm?"

Kaede and Rin were walking towards them, engaged in conversation. The little girl chirped on about something or other, while Kaede nodded indulgently.

"Kaede and Rin have pink auras too, but it's different. It's a pale pink, more like a pearl."

Shippo tapped his small chin with a pen Kagome had lent him. "Hmm…"

"I guess it makes sense since there are different types of love, don't you think?" gently prodding him, she smiled.

"Oh! So like they're feeling something kinda similar to Sango, but different."

"Right," Kagome grinned wider, proud of him. "Familial love for Sango, and platonic, friendly love for Kaede and Rin."

The old miko and her charge stopped to greet them on the path. "What are ye both up to today?" Kaede's single eye slid down to the scroll questioningly.

Kagome waved it off. "Just some schooling."

"Yeah, but it's fun! We're testing magic!"

Rin gaped at Shippo, aura turning green. "Aww, can I help them?" she turned to Kaede with a pout, clasping both hands and making big brown eyes even wider.

"Ye have your own training to attend to, Rin. Come along," the old woman kept walking with a dusty chuckle.

Whining good-naturedly with a now agitated orange glow about her, Rin trudged after her guardian, giving a despondent farewell to Shippo.

At that moment, foul cursing filled the air. The loud, booming swear caused nesting birds to take flight from their trees near the village.

The miko and kit shared a dry look.

"Inuyasha," they sighed in unison.

Needless to say, their former travelling companion's emotions glowed a vibrant red- outshining even the robe of the fire rat. He held his sore thumb, having accidentally hammered it while fixing a neighbour's chicken coop. Kagome wisely hid her laughter, feeling a plume of affection for him, since he'd taken it upon himself to help a neighbour.

I wonder what colour surrounds me when I look at Inuyasha, she wondered, fishing out a small mirror. Unfortunately, she couldn't see the colour. Though they'd broken up after a couple of weeks of dating, that candle of first love between them wouldn't be snuffed out completely. Since she couldn't coax that flame any higher than a tiny, nostalgic flame, she wagered it to be a kind of pastel pink colour.

After a few hours, Shippo looked down at the list of emotions they'd observed. "I think I got most of em' for now. We did great today, Kagome! Thanks so much!"

She giggled and ruffled his hair. "Don't sweat it, kiddo. I need to collect some herbs now, so if I see some new ones while I'm out, I'll let you know," Kagome grinned, leaning a basket against her hip. "I'll be able to see these emotions for a few more days, so no sense in turning in your test results early."

Shippo gave her a brief hug, before racing off to go organise his notes. Beaming with pride, Kagome walked out of the village and up a hill towards Inuyasha Forest with a small skip in her step. She'd helped! And luckily there'd been no side effects or worries of any kind.

Maybe I should help him out more often, she mused, noticing a certain Daiyoukai step out from beneath the shade of trees, powder blue shifting around his aura calmly. Smiling amiably, Kagome lifted a hand in greeting as their gazes met- before freezing.

Sesshoumaru's expression didn't change from its usual combo of placid, haughty and stoic. However, the energy surrounding him immediately dyed a deep, vibrant colour.

Kagome's breath hitched, eyes widening.

It plunged into a bold magenta hue, becoming a solid outline that coiled and thrummed.

She did not understand what it meant, but that she could elicit a change in emotion from him at all felt startling.

He stared at her, unblinking. As he drew closer and closer, Kagome tried to make sense of what he could be feeling, but his guarded eyes refused to risk any secrets being revealed.

"Miko," he acknowledged in his usual crisp, silky baritone. His way of a greeting.

"Sesshoumaru," she said, muscles tensing as he passed by, the silk of his billowing sleeve brushing the hypersensitive skin of her arm. Kagome blinked rapidly, reeling.

Shifting to watch him leave surreptitiously, she watched the magenta remain long after they'd parted ways, spying him duck into Kaede's hut to pay Rin a visit.

What the heck was that about?

Maybe it wasn't anything worth noting. Surely, just like anyone else, the Daiyouki had various emotions linked to things. People elicited different feelings from him; that was perfectly normal. But his mood had changed so swiftly upon seeing her that Kagome couldn't help but feel curious. What did magenta mean? Had she offended him? Did he always feel that specific emotion around her, or was it a one-off?

Turning on her heel, Kagome dismissed her task of fetching herbs in favour of seeking Shippo out again.

---

"What does magenta mean to you?"

"To me?"

Kagome nodded seriously.

Thinking for a moment, Shippo hummed and nommed on a lollipop, leaning back on the log he'd perched upon outside. "I dunno, it's a pretty colour but not a favourite. Can't get much use outta it with my crayons."

"No, I mean like - surely there has to be some demon opinion of magenta? Is it associated with a powerful emotion or something?"

Shippo shook his head, consulting the forgotten scroll. "My guess is- since purple is spiritual stuff, Sesshoumaru feels uh...like you remind him of holy things?"

Huffing out a sigh, she flopped down beside him, placing her chin in her hands. "Doubt that. He didn't seem calm," she mumbled, remembering the vivid intensity of his unblinking stare. "Hm, maybe since red- which is anger- and darker blue- which is sadness- has to mix to make the right shade of magenta, that means Sesshoumaru is both angry and sad when he looks at me." Kagome's stomach dropped. "Oh God, do I make him smad?"

Shippo snorted and tossed his lollipop aside to shake her arm, noticing the dazed look of worry glazing her eyes. "You don't make him smad."

Kagome remained unconvinced. The kit groaned, hopping up and grabbing her hand. "You don't! I'm sure it was just a coincidence he was feeling magenta around you. Let's go see!"

The miko stumbled after the exuberant fox, not fully realising where he intended to go until it clicked they were heading toward Kaede's hut. Kagome's heels abruptly dug into the earth, dragging. "Shippo!" she hissed. "He's visiting Rin- I don't want to interrupt."

"You won't be, it looks like they're saying goodbye already."

Blue eyes widened and her attention snapped up from the fox to land on some distant figures up ahead. Even from far away, Kagome could see the pearl pink aura coiling around Sesshoumaru as he lay a gentle hand upon Rin's head of brown hair. The girl beamed, giving off her own warm shine.

Kagome bit the inside of her cheek, heedless of her own approach now. She realized then just how personal and vulnerable the emotion spell could be- how rare and revealing it was to witness Sesshoumaru experiencing such a wholesome bond, free from violence. Enemies could potentially use it on each other to find out secret information easily.

The Daiyoukai seemed to inhale- abruptly stiffening and lifting his hand away from Rin as claws twitched, curling into his palm. Kagome witnessed the moment his aura bled darker, slipping from innocent pink into the strong shade of magenta- just as he turned his head in their direction. Golden eyes pinned her in place. Sesshoumaru seemed to grow tense and watchful, showing none of his previous warmth.

Shippo paused when they weren't too far away, glancing up and noticing Kagome's pale expression. "Uh... has it happened again?"

"It's even worse than before," Kagome whispered.

"Kagome, Shippo!" Rin called over to them, waving. "Are you still playing with magic?"

This seemed to catch Sesshoumaru's attention, ripping his heavy gaze away to land on his ward. "Magic?"

"Mhm! They're doing some kitsune homework with a spell," she smiled, seeming to gain a devious expression and hurrying over to grab Kagome's freehand, pulling her the rest of the way towards her lord. "Kagome! You should take a quick break and sit with Lord Sesshoumaru. Share some tea together!"

Horror churned fierce and fast through Kagome's system. She didn't want to make him uncomfortable, and prolonged exposure to her would no doubt suck for him if magenta was an irritated colour.

"That is unnecessary, Rin," Sesshoumaru uttered, confirming Kagome's suspicions. She winced a little anyway, wondering why it stung. "This one was just passing through, I will leave now."

Making a noise of complaint, the girl's grip tightened. "Well then, she should accompany you! W-we need medicinal herbs and you didn't gather any earlier, did you Kagome?"

She willed the earth to swallow her whole. "N-no…"

"Then it's decided! She can walk you to the forest since she's heading that way." Rin poked and prodded them to get moving. In all the confusion, Shippo slipped away to make some notes, giving Kagome a thumbs up- which she returned with a death glare.

Wondering what had come over Rin but being trapped by politeness to refuse, Kagome grimly started walking alongside Sesshoumaru, picking up a basket from Kaede's hut.

I shouldn't feel guilty or weird around him, she thought, trying to ease her worry. If he's getting bent out of shape just from seeing me, that's his problem. I'm pretty confident I haven't insulted him recently.

Kagome nodded silently to herself, endeavouring not to let Sesshoumaru's secret magenta emotion matter so much-

"You appear well."

Jumping, Kagome whipped her head up to the regal demon. "Huh?" she blinked, heat touching her cheeks. "Oh! Thanks!" the magenta outline grew bolder, much to her chagrin. "You look nice too. Aha-! I mean not nice- well, you look handsome- but in a good health way! Not a 'compliment on your looks' way. That's totally what I meant. "

Open mouth, insert foot.

His aura only seemed to fluctuate more, and Sesshoumaru's lips thinned. Kagome inwardly groaned. No doubt he hated her even more now!

She decided an attempt to smooth over everything was in order. "Sesshoumaru," she said, taking a breath. "I know we might not be what you'd consider close, but I'd be totally fine with talking about anything that might be bothering you. Even allies can talk about that stuff."

Sesshoumaru blinked languidly, looking as though she'd blurted out a foreign language. He then faced forward, features becoming tightly controlled. "Nothing unsettles me, miko. It is a foolish, human sentiment that I should be 'bothered' by anything."

Kagome rolled her eyes, mouth twitching. Proud, stubborn guy. She didn't know why she found it kind of endearing.

"Why are you so certain I am troubled?"

Her steps faltered before she strode on, biting her bottom lip. "I have a knack for feeling out these things. A woman's intuition," she grinned, noticing his stare rove lower, south from her eyes.

"Hn," golden eyes lingered. Kagome wondered if she'd gotten something stuck in her teeth. "Your intuition is certainly lacking if you are only just noticing something amiss."

A victorious noise escaped her and she immediately swooped in on the slip-up. Sesshoumaru seemed to wince. "Aha! So something IS wrong!"

"Miko-"

"It's just that you've been dealing with it for such a long time that it's become almost normal to you. That about right?" she grinned.

Kagome took his moody silence as a 'yes.'

"I'm sorry I didn't pick up on it earlier. Shippo's um...spell...has made me extra sensitive to how others are feeling," she revealed a half-truth. "I just can't work out how you're feeling. Heh, you're mysterious even when I've got magic to help me understand you."

"You wish to understand me?"

"Well, yes? You're our ally. As established; I'd like to be your friend too."

"I see."

"Sooo...?" Kagome hedged as they arrived at the border of the trees. The Daiyoukai stopped and turned to her once they were beneath the branches, having stepped under cool shade. Kagome quieted, wondering at the assessing, guarded look he pinned her with. Why should the mighty Lord Sesshoumaru guard himself against her of all people?

Pale lips quirked, and he hummed, giving a haughty, arrogant smirk. "Figure it out yourself."

Her mouth fell open. Ire immediately simmered real and hot beneath her skin. "That's not helpful, Sesshoumaru! The whole point of having friends is to share stuff! You can't expect people to know how you're feeling without you telling them, I'm not a mind reader."

He moved in slightly closer then, leaning down. Kagome swallowed but tensed her legs to keep from bending back, holding her ground and straightening her spine. It proved difficult. Sesshoumaru's cold features had a way of unnerving even the most hardened warriors. It was the lack of empathy or emotion in his animalistic gaze; the terrifying sense that something was missing; humanity.

But...

Kagome's eyes strayed to the magenta aura that only blazed thicker and larger, practically drowning her. The spell revealed, albeit without his consent; that Sesshoumaru was a man of feeling. In fact, whatever emotion plagued him, it roared stronger than any other persons she'd seen that day. Besides all that, she'd witnessed his care of others before. Been on the receiving end of it when he'd saved her a few times.

In the shade's hush, he tipped his head slightly, silver hair falling free from behind a pointed ear. "I am not a being that 'tells' other's information freely. Demons can glean enough from my body language, scent and actions enough to understand my feelings."

"And I appreciate that," Kagome said in a softer tone. "But I'm not a demon."

"Rin-"

"Is a child who has spent a lot of one-on-one time with you. I'd also wager that while she understands a lot of your intentions...she doesn't always understand you either."

Sesshoumaru begrudged her point, though seemed ever unwilling to let his mask slip to reveal anything.

Searching his gaze, she wet her dry lips. "What does the colour magenta mean to you?"

His aura flared, and Sesshoumaru surprised her by leaning back and stepping away. His features became a mix of things, the colours changing for the first time around him- grey, yellow, black, fluctuating on magenta and orange before settling on a particular shade of red that made her squeak.

No way- is he embarrassed?

"Why ask that?" he asked in a removed, steady tone. If she focused though, Kagome could pick up on the faint slip in his voice.

Kagome for once couldn't answer, heart hammering in her ribcage. She wasn't sure what to interpret from his reaction, but the colour obviously meant something to him. Shaking her head, Kagome waved it off.

"Never mind. I'll take your advice and work it out for myself."

He blinked and arched a brow, seeming to recover from his surprise. "Oh?"

Kagome made a noise of affirmation, turning on her heel and taking a few steps away. Pausing, she flashed him a smile over her shoulder. "And if I guess correctly, you agree to start telling me the important stuff. Deal?"

Sesshoumaru's face flashed with intrigue. Slowly, thin lips curved. His expression transformed into something quietly eager, the colour aura deepening into blazing magenta once more.

"Hn."

---

After asking near everyone she could think of for their input or ideas, Kagome ran into a brick wall, utterly stumped. That was- until she heard a certain irritatingly high, grating voice.

"But WHERE did Lord Sesshoumaru go?"

"I don't know, he said he was just passing through."

Jaken.

If anyone had insight into Sesshoumaru, it would be the little green imp. Kagome hurried in the direction of the helium sounding voice.

Finding Rin and Jaken by the village well, and struggling to pull a bucketful up together- Kagome quickly lent a hand, hefting the bucket up onto the side. The little girl grinned and thanked her, while Kagome crouched before Jaken, causing him to squeak.

"W-what is it? What do you want?!"

"I need to talk to you," Kagome said seriously. Resting her hands over her knees and leaning forward intently. "Magenta. Tell me your thoughts on that colour."

Bulbous yellow eyes widened. "Hah? Have you lost your senses, strange girl?"

Rin pouted and lifted the heavy bucket down, spilling some water. "Just do it, Master Jaken. If Kagome is asking, it must be important."

Kagome smiled a little, before schooling her features back into complete seriousness.

The imp sighed and squinted, before thinking for a moment. "Hmm, well. I would of course associate it with the most illustrious Lord Sesshoumaru!"

"H-huh? Why?"

"His cheek and wrist stripes are that exact shade! Don't you pay attention to anything?"

Kagome realised he was entirely correct. They matched up perfectly. Excitement built in her chest, feeling like she was FINALLY getting somewhere with the big mystery. "So it's linked with him… I see. What do you think the colour represents?"

"Haven't the faintest idea," he tilted his head back with a haughty sniff. "But since they adorn Lord Sesshoumaru, I can only conclude that it must be a royal, prideful colour."

Her elation fizzled out. Kagome wilted, sighing and standing once more. That didn't fit at all. No way would Sesshoumaru feel pride while looking at her.

Stepping away with the dismal thought that she was back at square one, she paused upon noticing a tugging on her sleeve. Rin clutched the trailing end of it, looking up at her in quiet earnest. She bit her lip and seemed to struggle with something. "I-I'm sure the answer is there if you just try asking more questions, Kagome."

The miko softened and petted her wild hair, smoothing the locks back from her face. "You really think so, kiddo? Because I'm kind of stumped right now."

"Mhm! I don't know what homework you're helping Shippo with, but if its causing you to take an interest in Lord Sesshoumaru, I encourage you to dig deeper!"

Kagome wasn't sure why she felt so strongly about the subject, her smile becoming a little confused. Nonetheless, she decided to take the advice and try again.

The right question…

Grabbing the back of Jaken's robes and tugging him back before he could walk off, Kagome knelt down. She decided to shift her focus. "Those markings on Sesshoumaru's face and wrists- I was wondering if they mean anything."

"Bah! Such things have a multitude of uses! Ahem!" he lifted up a tiny green claw. "Firstly, they are to show that he is poisonous."

Kagome stifled a giggle behind her hand, smiling with her eyes at Rin. "So he's like a flower."

"No! Nothing like a flower! He is deadly!"

"Poisonous flowers exist- but never mind that," she waved off. "What else?"

"Second, the positioning of the markings represents various things. The ones on mi lord's cheeks represent superior jaws, the wrists and ankles represent superior strength in his arms and legs, while the hips represent that he will produce superior offspring."

Kagome turned steadily red, wondering how low those stripes hooked down his hips. She hadn't even known he possessed hip stripes and was now picturing him half-naked. Kagome quickly shook the fantasy away. Rin didn't seem to understand that last part but thankfully remained quiet.

Jaken continued on, bolstered by such a captive audience and happy to talk about his favourite subject. "Lastly, they are to catch the interest of a mate."

"They... are?"

The imp nodded with vigour. "If you were the slightest bit observant, you'd notice that the vibrancy of his markings has emboldened recently. This means he is displaying for a female."

She had noticed that, actually, but Kagome hadn't thought anything of it. She felt close to a conclusion then, so achingly near to the truth. Swallowing to moisten her suddenly dry mouth, Kagome soldiered on.

"I saw that the ones on his cheeks had become bolder. What about his crescent moon?"

Jaken waved a tiny hand, "the moon is just to show which clan he belongs to. In relation to your original question, it is the magenta markings that are paramount. They are intrinsically linked with all that I noted; intimidation signals and mating."

Kagome nodded, inwardly reeling. She mulled this over and thanked him for the valuable insight. Magenta obviously meant more to Sesshoumaru than she'd ever thought.

In light of Jaken's words, Kagome found herself having to observe a certain set of emotions. Since mating was on the list, she reluctantly wandered in search of a known pervert.

Sweat beaded on her forehead as she took Miroku to one side. After explaining the situation in a succinct manner, she took a breath.

"I need you to get horny for your wife."

Miroku stared. He then pushed back his sleeves, clearing his throat and righting his collar. "My time has come."

Kagome's eyes widened and she held up her hands, "wait- I'm not asking to be weird or anything. M-maybe I should explain more."

He lay a comforting hand on her shoulder, patting. "No further explanation necessary, Lady Kagome. If this is in service of deeper understanding between allies, I am more than happy to help. Observe."

Miroku breezily walked away, gravitating towards Sango who had set down their son, attention on the crawling toddler. Kagome groaned and buried her face in her hands- shifting some fingers aside to witness the moment Miroku's calm blue aura darkened.

For a moment, panic leapt down her windpipe as it deepened into purple, hovering over magenta- before the aura settled on a lush hot pink.

The sound of a slap sounded out, Sango moving away from Miroku's groping hand. "I've told you before; not in front of the children!" she hissed.

Her husband laughed airly, stroking his cheek and giving her a fond smile. Kagome's heart warmed slightly, witnessing the hot pink glow into a warm pinkish red.

I think that must be the colour of love.

This, unfortunately, didn't answer any of her questions.

The possible things Sesshoumaru could be feeling toward her made the miko's stomach twist into knots. She went over what to say in her head a dozen or so times- and then a dozen more. It was no easy feat to wait on pins and needles for the demons' return. Inevitably though, word of his return reached her a few days later.

---

Sesshoumaru had been spotted by the trees bordering Inuyasha Forest so she'd set off alone immediately.

Since the sun beat down mercilessly, Kagome was unsurprised to find him by water. Elevated temperatures were likely brutal on those who regularly wore armour- evidenced by the fact that she walked in on him very much without it. Sesshoumaru knelt by a river, eyes closed and hankimono parted- exposing a thin sliver of firm, pale muscle. His head slightly dipped forward, hair held over one shoulder as one hand cupped cool water and splashed it over the back of his neck. Droplets ran down the length of his throat to dip around his collarbone- some sliding down his back. Sesshoumaru massaged the base of his skull, before cupping more water and repeating the process, long fingers running over the back of his glistening neck.

Kagome stared. She'd suddenly never been so thirsty in her life.

His lashes fluttered open to glance at her. His continued silence prompted her to clear her throat and murmur; "I'm not sure if I've got it right."

"Explain."

Kagome felt a blush rise to her cheeks and panic erupted in her chest. She suddenly wasn't ready. She wasn't nearly as ready for this as she needed to be. Approaching the Daiyoukai dressed in a white tank top and dungarees had not been the plan but she'd impulsively sought him out without thinking about it.

His voice turned softer, almost coaxing. "What conclusion did you reach?"

Kagome bit her lip and felt the need to explain her process of elimination. "First off; I feel like I should be honest with you. I can see the colours of people's emotions around them due to a spell Shippo used on me. That's why I was asking about magenta. It's...it's the emotion you keep feeling whenever you see me- I just had no idea what it meant."

Golden eyes cracked a fraction wider, exposing the liquid honey swimming inside, glinting in the afternoon sunlight with interest.

"I asked Jaken about the colour since he has an insight into you more sound than other people. He told me that magenta was linked to your markings- which can represent intimidation signals and m-mating interest."

He arched a brow, something unnamed flickering over his expression. Kagome began pacing back and forth before him. "So! The first thing I did was follow Inuyasha into a fight. There was a weasel youkai bothering a farmer. I noticed Inuyasha's aura turned a brownish, orangey-red during the fight and concluded that was likely aggression! So I figured you weren't feeling defensive around me," she gave a nervous giggle. Why was the sun so damn bright? The humidity only elevated the spike of nerves pricking the back of her neck.

"Next came the... other thing," her voice dimmed and Kagome evaded eye contact. "I noticed Miroku feeling uh...frisky around his wife. His aura turned hot pink- so it wasn't magenta- not that I thought you could ever feel that way about...me," she babbled. "Hell, I've consulted Shippo's scroll a thousand times. I've run through all the emotions we could find and- gah! I couldn't find anything that explained magenta. I guess I failed in figuring out what's bothering you," her shoulders slumped in defeat.

"You went to all that trouble?"

Kagome lifted her gaze to his, loosely holding her arms. "Well, yeah. I kind of realised that I wasn't being fair to you the other day. You shouldn't be expected to verbalise your problems if you're not comfortable doing so. It's a different method than what I'm used to in order to communicate- but if you're happy doing that I won't push you to open up to me."

Since she'd failed to work out his problems, however, Kagome grimly figured there was no hope of them being friends. The thought somewhat bothered her. Sesshoumaru was a solid, assuring presence to have around. It would've been nice to have a deeper insight into the inner mechanisms of his cerebral mind.

Maybe priestesses and demons just can't understand each other.

A shadow fell over her, bathing Kagome in shade. She looked up, finding his curious, burning gaze bearing down on her.

As usual, magenta coiled and expanded around him. So large and encompassing.

Sesshoumaru tilted his head slightly. "Some actions do not require words in order to understand them."

Kagome could only blink, face heating as he hooked a finger beneath her chin and tilted it up- before her heart burst into overdrive in time with lips pressing against hers.

Her squeak came out muffled, hands scrambling uselessly and finding his shoulders, quickly lurching away from the firm muscle to hover uselessly in the air. Sesshoumaru grabbed one of her hands and forced it to his broad shoulder, holding it there as he explored her open mouth.

The miko reeled, dazed eyes picking up the shining magenta aura before her lashes slid shut. Kagome let out a breathy noise as his tongue slid over hers, reciprocating for a moment before her mind caught up with the situation and- WHAT THE HELL WAS SHE DOING?

Kagome's palm pushed against his broad shoulder, ripping her mouth away from his and panting. Sesshoumaru remained close, breath shuddering slightly, gaze hooded.

"That-" she started, having to lick her lips. "That requires MANY words, buster. So many words are needed to explain what the hell just happened."

The Daiyoukai managed to look put out, eyes turning flat. "It seems your ignorance requires a lack of subtlety, but I do not mind. If it is necessary to have you- I will adapt and explain myself."

"To... have me?" Kagome's breath hitched. Somehow magenta was all she could see- his cheek markings so bold and bright.

Sesshoumaru's jaw ticked, eyes squinting and attention shifting away as he seemed to gather his thoughts and construct them onto his tongue.

"Magenta is the colour of love to inuyoukai."

He said it so easily. After all that confusion and so much second-guessing, Kagome was almost angry with him. Almost. The rest of her brain was too focused on processing the unthinkable thing he'd just said and the implications behind it.

"But...your markings…" she croaked.

"Have little to do with it- though Jaken's explanation was not incorrect."

Kagome shook her head, searching his face. "I just...I'm struggling to understand h-how? I mean, you can't feel that way about me."

"Why not?"

"B-because!" she squeaked, cheeks blazing red. "Isn't love a bit of a leap? You barely know me."

Sesshoumaru huffed, placid features shifting to become slightly guarded. He didn't know when it had started happening for he was in the middle before he even knew he had begun, but more and more, he sought her opinions and company. She spoke well and intelligently after all- had destroyed Naraku and the jewel with such power and finesse that had made his instincts stir. "I know enough. This is not something recent. I have watched... and wondered for some time."

"Wondered... what?"

"If it was possible to bridge the gap between us. Perhaps it was foolish to think we could be compatible."

He had a point. Even a spell hadn't helped her understand him any easier. But when Sesshoumaru slowly stepped back, quiet disappointment simmering behind his blank mask yet clear in his eyes- something like panic possessed her. Kagome grabbed his sleeve, blushing harder.

She wasn't sure why alarm had shot through her- but the idea of losing their soft, hopeful flickering flame before they'd even coaxed it brighter to see what heights it could reach felt like something she'd regret forever if she let him go.

Kagome stepped closer. "Not foolish. This is just really unexpected for me."

Golden eyes roved over her face questioningly.

"The colour of love is different for humans, so it never even crossed my mind that THAT was what you've been struggling with. Jaken mentioned you were displaying for a female but- wow," she murmured, gentling. "Thank you... for telling me. No one's ever said that to me before."

Sesshoumaru's expression warmed, just a touch. He inclined his head slightly and Kagome felt an odd flutter in her belly.

"I'm not in the same place as you emotionally but- if- if you'd want to try this human thing called 'dating' we could give it a shot and get to know each other better."

"Hn," Sesshoumaru gave her a considering look, and she almost thought he might decline before the ghost of a smile tilted up his lips. "What is 'dating?'"

Kagome's face burst into a grin, and she took his clawed hand. "You're gonna love it. It involves a lot of talking."

He gave a mock groan, aura glowing brighter.

Naturally, Shippo passed his test with flying colours. His sensei was particularly impressed by his observation of both human and inuyoukai emotions in particular.

He decided to use the spell on himself several months later, laughing and chasing Rin around the village, happy to see the yellow aura dancing around her. Something of note he noticed when rushing by was a certain miko and demon lord practising archery together in a field. As Kagome corrected his large stance, hand guiding his elbow down slightly as he aimed, the warm colours of pinkish red and magenta entwined, lacing like long, seeking fingers gently interlocking.

End

[aceofwhump]

Babe thank you x30000 for recommending SG-1 to me!!!! I watched the first ep and am halfway through the second one and I am in a blissful state. Daniel is such a smol hurt puppy who needs to be cuddled... Do you have any favorite fics with Daniel in them??

You are so very welcome!!! I’m so glad you’re enjoying it!! And I couldn’t agree more about Daniel lol. He’s my favorite, my first whumpee, and one of the reasons I got my degree in history. Daniel means the world to me. I love him. 

Do I have fic recs? YOU BET YOUR SWEET BIPPY I DO!!!! This got really long so if you don’t mind I’m just gonna post the links. Trust me. They’re all great :D

Don’t Mess With Danny

Bullies and Women Oh the Life of a Geek

Surrogate Father

The Barista (this one is not whumpy but read it anyway okay. it’s the best)

Sweet Dreams and Flying Machines

Don’t Go Away

A Change of Orders

HurtComfort

Counting to Ten

Tumbling Down

The Bridge

Need

Could it be Forever

Drifting on the Wind as Light as a Feather

Fire in the Belly

Trees Are Crying Leaves Into The Darkness

No Evil

The Stuff of Legends

Lost In Translation

The Perfect Recipe

Celebrate Me Home

No Man Left Behind

Beloved

What Dreams May Come

Cocidian

Solitudes Redux

Up Canada Creek Without a Paddle

The Thorn Beast

ALSO I am going to recommend some of the Stargate novels that are super whumpy and SO GOOD:

STARGATE SG-1: Hall of the Two Truths By Susannah Parker Sinard

Summary:

After suffering a brutal attack off-world, each member of SG-1 finds themselves stranded alone in the Ancient Egyptian afterlife — and on a journey through the Book of the Dead.

With reality shifting around them, Colonel O’Neill, Dr. Daniel Jackson, Major Carter and Teal’c must each navigate a treacherous path toward final judgment in the Hall of the Two Truths. On the way, they will be tested to their mental and physical limits by their past mistakes, their greatest fears and their deepest desires…

In this classic SG-1 adventure, the team must dig deep to survive. Their only hope of escape lies in finding each other, but in this place where nothing and no one is what it seems, who do they trust and what do they dare to believe?

STARGATE SG-1: Four Dragons By Diana Dru Botsford

Summary:

It was meant to be a soft mission, something to ease Doctor Daniel Jackson back into things after his time among the Ancients — after all, what could possibly go wrong on a simple survey of ancient Chinese ruins? As it turns out, a whole lot.

After accidentally activating a Goa’uld transport ring, Daniel finds himself the prisoner of Lord Yu, the capricious Goa’uld System Lord. Meanwhile, SG1’s efforts to rescue their friend are hampered by a representative of the Chinese government with an agenda of his own to follow — and a deep secret to hide.

But Colonel Jack O’Neill is in no mood for delay. He’ll go to any lengths to get Daniel back — even if it means ignoring protocol and taking matters into his own hands.

STARGATE SG-1: The Barque of Heaven By Suzanne Wood

Summary:

Millennia ago, at the height of his power, the System Lord Ra decreed that any Goa’uld wishing to serve him must endure a great trial. Victory meant power and prestige, defeat brought banishment and death.

On a routine expedition to an abandoned Goa’uld world, SG-1 inadvertently initiate Ra’s ancient trial – and once begun, the trial cannot be halted. Relying on Dr. Daniel Jackson’s vast wealth of knowledge, Colonel O’Neill must lead his team from planet to planet, completing each task in the allotted time. There is no rest, no respite. To stop means being trapped forever in the farthest reaches of the galaxy, and to fail means death.

Victory is their only option in this terrible test of endurance – an ordeal that will try their will, their ingenuity, and above all their bonds of friendship…

STARGATE SG-1: Siren Song By Holly Scott & Jaimie Duncan

Summary:

Bounty-hunter Aris Boch once more has his sights on SG-1. But this time Boch isn’t interested in trading them for cash. He needs the unique talents of Dr. Daniel Jackson – and he’ll do anything to get them.

Colonel Jack O’Neill and his team are taken to Boch’s ravaged home-world and handed over to the insane Goa’uld, Sebek. Obsessed with opening a mysterious subterranean vault, Sebek demands that Jackson translate the arcane writing on the doors. When Jackson refuses, the Goa’uld resorts to devastating measures to ensure his cooperation.

With the vault exerting an increasingly malign influence, Sebek compels Jackson and O’Neill toward a horror that threatens both their sanity and their lives. Meanwhile, Carter and Teal’c struggle to persuade the starving people of Aris Boch’s world to risk everything they have to save SG-1 – and free their desolate world of the Goa’uld forever.

STARGATE SG-1: Hostile Ground By Sally Malcolm & Laura Harper

Excerpt:

“Teal’c, how far?”

The colonel’s words were clipped, each one bitten off like a curse as he knelt next to Daniel in the mud. Sam couldn’t see what he was doing, didn’t dare take her eyes off the rain-sodden tree line, but she could smell the antiseptic and heard Daniel hiss in a sharp breath.

“We are now less than a kilometer from the Stargate,” Teal’c said. He crouched next to her, staff weapon raised and his arm brushing against hers, making the most of the scant cover they shared – a fallen tree, rotting in the incessant rain. It wouldn’t do much against a staff blast but it was better than nothing. She glanced up at the heavy sky, the clouds hiding a multitude of dangers. If those gliders came back…

Breathing hard, breathing through pain, Daniel said, “I’m okay. I can make it.”

“Damn right you can.” The colonel’s growl made it an order as he ripped open another field dressing. Sam heard Daniel’s shout of pain as the colonel pressed the bandage onto the wound. She didn’t know how badly he was injured, but it had to be serious for the colonel to risk stopping their breakneck flight to the Stargate.

Movement – a fleeting shadow back in the tree line. She wiped rain from her face and eyes, squinting through the curtain of water that slanted across the open ground between SG-1 and the edge of the forest. Yes, there it was again, a glint of gold amid the trees. “Sir,” she said, finger itchy on the trigger, “you might want to hurry that up.”

“What do you think I’m doing, Carter?”

She ignored his sharp tone. “Teal’c, do you see them? Two-o’clock.”

“I do.” He shifted his position, taking aim.

“Sir?” she risked a glance over her shoulder. Daniel was ashen, his jacket torn and dark with blood where the staff blast had hit, just above the hip and below his tac vest. She glimpsed a white compression bandage through the torn fabric. He grimaced as he moved, trying to stand.

The colonel put a restraining hand on his shoulder and looked over at Sam. She knew that look, the flat uncompromising expression that shut everything down. It meant they were in trouble. “Daniel and I are gonna head for the gate,” he said, starting to pack away the med-kit with quick, efficient movements. “You and Teal’c hold them here as long as you can, then come after us.” He stuffed his gear back into his vest and tugged the bill of his cap lower. “Don’t leave it too long, Major.”

She understood. If they were too slow getting back to the gate, there was a real danger they’d be outflanked. “Yes sir. Good luck.”

His only reply was a curt nod before he turned to Daniel. “Ready?”

“Sure,” Daniel said, teeth gritted. “How hard can it be?”

“Attaboy,” the colonel said as he helped Daniel to his feet. “We might have to run.”

Daniel nodded, turning from ashen to milky, but determined as ever. “Let’s go.”

Sam looked away, back to the enemy hiding in the trees, but not before she’d seen the bloom of scarlet on Daniel’s dressing. She swallowed a hard knot of anxiety. It would be difficult enough to make it to the gate carrying a wound like that, let alone with a platoon of Jaffa on their heels.

“The enemy is moving,” Teal’c murmured as several Jaffa emerged from the trees, keeping low as they scanned the scrubby clearing. Sam ducked behind their cover, not wanting to give away their position. “Go now, O’Neill,” Teal’c said softly. “We will cover your retreat and hold this position as long as possible.”

“Counting on it,” the colonel said.

With Daniel’s arm looped over his shoulder, he headed out into the sparse woodland that ran all the way back to the Stargate. Sam winced at their slow, awkward pace. At that rate, they’d never reach the gate before the Jaffa.

A squall of rain blew into her face and she had to turn away, squeezing her eyes shut. When she looked back, Daniel and the colonel were gone, the rain at least helping to hide them from the advancing Jaffa, even if it did make the muddy ground slick and treacherous under foot. Wiping her face on her sleeve, she squirmed around and shivered as a trickle of rain slid down her neck and under her collar. “Daniel’s moving pretty slow,” she whispered, taking a bead on one of the Jaffa and switching her weapon to single shot. “Do you think they’ll make it in time?” Even through the rain, she knew she’d hit her target. But not yet, let them come out a little further from the cover of the trees.

“It is possible,” Teal’c said, “that one of us will need to precede them to the Stargate and hold it against the Jaffa.”

“Yeah,” Sam said, a beat of fear kicking in her chest, “that’s what I figured.”

[doll-collecting-aerialist]

The Story Of My Addy, In Honor Of Her Birthday.

(VERY long post.)

Growing up, the three American Girls I wanted most were Addy, Kirsten, and Cecile.  However, Kirsten and Addy were always the top dolls I wished for, they probably tied in first place. I remember being about six or seven and flipping through my first American Girl catalog I ever received, along with Kit, my first American Girl. After staring at her respective pages, I flipped through the other Historicals. I was never too interested in the non-Historical aspects of AG as a kid (other than Mckenna), I was what one would class as an aspiring history buff. I thought all the dolls were gorgeous, but Addy in particular caught my eye. She was stunning. 

I thought Addy was beautiful, and her pink meet dress was quite similar to a couple of my childhood dresses. If I wanted to be atmospheric I’d probably say I was wearing my favorite pink sundress the first time I was introduced to Addy, but realistically I was probably wearing my frog rain boots and my lobster pajamas. I had a fascination with footwear as a kid, particularly boots, and Addy’s shoes reminded me of Doc Martens. I had always wanted a pair of black boots, and I thought it was sick that Addy had “Docs.” I thought she was the most stylish out of the historical characters. I thought Addy’s hair was the prettiest out of the Historicals as well, it looked very soft and reminded me of my best friend’s hair. I also thought Addy had the prettiest face out of the dolls, I loved her nose and her eyes. 

However, the people around me didn’t see Addy the way I did. I suppose you could call it a tradition for the girls of my elementary school to huddle around a new American Girl catalog when it released. My peers often marveled over the blond or light-red haired Truly Mes, and occasionally the GOTY. They rarely paid attention to the Historicals, and when they did it was usually a doll like Julie. When I brought up how pretty Addy (or Cecile) was, and how much I loved her, the girls would laugh at me. There soon became a group of white girls in my school who would laugh at me for wanting a black doll. They would call Addy horrible things, anything from saying she looked “dirty” to calling her the n-word. They said I probably only wanted Addy so “I could have a slave.” I would defend Addy and tell them that they were wrong, but if anything that made them more antagonistic towards her and me. 

I was a very shy, anxious, soft-spoken kid, and so thinking about telling an adult made me want to vomit my Caprisun. The adults of my elementary school were also extremely dismissive of me anyway in some cases, and would become annoyed with me for reasons I won’t get into, other than that I was a “problem” child as a kid due to my home situation, being bullied, and not being accommodated in school for my disabilities. I knew I wasn’t going to be taken seriously by my teachers, and I didn’t want to gather up the courage to open up to one of them only to be dismissed. There were some adults that did see what was going on and would tell the girls to stop, but more often than not when the adults did witness the girls making fun of me, they’d turn the other way, or even condone it. Many adults asked me why I didn’t want a doll that looked like me, or asked why I didn’t want a “pretty doll.” There would be adults who would warn me that I would ruin Addy’s hair and that Addy’s hair was to difficult for me to take care of. Adults would often try to sway me to like another doll, usually a white, blonde-haired one. 

I began to keep my love for Addy a secret. As an elementary schooler, I didn’t understand why everyone was upset with me for loving Addy, but the reactions from the people around me made me feel as though there was something wrong with myself.  There wasn’t really anyone telling me that the people being racist towards Addy were the problem and that I was not the issue. My eight-year-old brain basically came to the conclusion that people wouldn’t be yelling at me if I wasn’t doing something wrong, and for a while, I felt ashamed for loving Addy. I still did love her however, and I would quietly stare at her page in the catalog for hours, becoming extremely upset with the fact that I would never have her. I adored all her outfits, they reminded me of the ones my mother and grandmother would sew for me. I wanted her Christmas Dress, Sunday Best, and Nightgown especially. I begged for a nightgown so I could be like Addy. I wanted Ida Bean and Addy’s lace-up boots. Basically, anything Addy related? I wanted badly, but I always kept it a tight secret. 

An activity my family would often partake in growing up was going to the thrift store during half-off weeks. On one of these trips, my mother found quite a few historical American Girl books, including a copy of Meet Addy and Changes For Addy. There was also a copy of Merry Christmas Kit, Molly Saves the Day, Meet Felicity, etc... But I was extremely excited for the Addy books in particular. I carried my copy of Meet Addy everywhere, from the time I was in about fourth grade, until the time I was eventually pulled out of public school in the middle of grade seven. I always had it in my backpack, and I was to busy reading it to pay attention to the kids who liked to make fun of me (or my teacher trying to teach me for that matter, my book got taken up on multiple occasions.). Meet Addy and Changes For Addy were the only Addy books I was able to read until recently, except for the times I would skim through her books when my mother went to the library. Only this past year have I been able to actually sit down and read her entire central series rather than skimming/reading random chapters.

Addy’s books were my only meaningful education on slavery and the Civil War for a long time. Before I was homeschooled, my education on the topics were often skittered around, or had details omitted to make my state appear less complicit (Where I live, all history education in public school revolves around our state, excluding things such as world history. At least it did when I went to public school.). My elementary school only had thirty minutes of allotted time for history or science instruction, and even then it was treated as optional instruction. The allotted time slot was often used for extra math instruction, test prep, or free time. I’ve had to retake much of my history education when I became homeschooled, because the education I received in public school was poor. Before Addy's books, I had been taught that ‘slavery wasn’t that bad,’ and my first actual look into the topic came from her series. My only meaningful history instruction for a long time came from the American Girl books, but Addy’s were especially important due to how little education I got on the topics of slavery and the Civil War, and also due to how much misinformation I was taught when we did discuss these topics in class. 

Addy’s books made me love her even more, and she was definitely one of my first crushes as an elementary schooler. I thought she was beautiful and strong, and I wanted more than anything to be like her. All my pink dresses became “Addy dresses” and I would pretend to dress up as her. I liked to draw her and write stories about her. My grandmother at one point gave me a doll outfit that was (coincidently?) extremely similar to one in an illustration in Addy’s book, and I loved it to pieces. I somehow found out about Addy’s stilting outfit, and that started my multiple-year fascination with stilts and begging my parents for them (I never got them). I learned to play mancala primarily because of Addy (and also for the fact that the kids at my summer camp that year based your popularity off of if you could play or not). 

 Addy was a strong character who was both a child and a girl, which I didn’t see much of, and I looked up to her immensely. She was also black, and although I’m not, seeing a strong girl character who was also in a minority meant a lot to me as a disabled kid. I was used to reading books about white, able body boys who were tough and strong, I rarely saw books that had girls who were strong, and if I did they were often adults, as well as able body and/or white. The disability representation in Addy’s books was also extremely well written, especially in comparison to much of the disability “representation” I was exposed to as a kid. I liked to read the chapters with M’Dear in Happy Birthday Addy, or the later books with Sam whenever my mother took me to the library.  I was used to disabled characters “overcoming”, or being pitied in the books I would read, but M’Dear and Sam weren’t like that. 

Eventually, I grew up never receiving Addy, and was pressured to put my dolls away. It wasn’t until a couple years later I would bring my dolls back out. My sister had her own American Girls at that point, so there was no weird obligation to let her play with my old ones, and I was no longer in public school where I would be made fun of for liking dolls. I had missed my dolls all the years they had been put away/given to my sister and I was so happy to finally have them back. After a while of having my dolls returned to me, Melody was released, which is really what completely brought me back into American Girls. Growing up, I wanted a Civil Rights American Girl badly. I am neurodivergent, and as a kid, I had a hyperfixation with the Civil Rights Movement. I wanted a Civil Rights American Girl almost as much as I wanted Addy, Kirsten, and Cecile, but she didn’t exist yet.

I immediately knew that I wanted both Melody and Addy in my collection as soon as possible (I had gotten Kirsten at that point. I wanted Cecile as well, but she wasn’t at the top of my mind as she is retired.). Although I no longer had a strange sense of reputation to uphold with my peers at public school, I did have a girlfriend. As a young teenager, I was so enamoured with the thought of having a girlfriend, that I often rushed into relationships with extremely toxic people, and this girl was no different. Aside from the usual “dolls are creepy” narrative, she also told me that she found Melody and Addy to be racist and that they offended her. She was very adamant that she would break up with me if I got Melody or Addy, and this scared my young teenage self who wanted a girlfriend (To this day, I do not know her exact issue with Melody.). I still got Melody that year, unbeknownst to her. I kept Melody a well hidden secret from her, but she had scared me enough to where I was afraid to get Addy at all. At this point I had started researching Addy constantly, and I knew the discourse surrounding her. I didn’t want to make my girlfriend at the time upset, so I held off on getting her. I have an AG store close to where I live, and I went a couple times after getting Melody and every single time I wanted more than anything to get Addy.

It would be a couple years before I would get Addy, as I got her this past January. I had started to become very antsy to get her, and in my wait for her had welcomed both Nellie and Josefina into my collection. About last September however, I made the mistake of bringing up how much I wanted Addy on an activism account I ran on Instagram, and immediately had people flooding me with all the usual Addy discourse. It took a long time to recover from that, and I had to shut down that account for a couple months. Since then everyone has cooled down about Addy, and I have some people who even follow me specifically for Addy. I’m not ashamed to admit that account has turned into more of an Addy Appreciation Account rather than an activism account. 

My quest to find the perfect Addy became all I would talk and think about. If you were within a mile of me, you KNEW that I wanted Addy, and I wanted her badly. Shout out to my friends who allowed me to talk from sunrise to sunset about Addy with no breaks for multiple weeks in a row. I was constantly looking on second hand sites, thrift stores, anywhere I could to find the Addy I wanted. I had my heart set on buying a pre-Beforever Addy at that point, and I was doing everything to find a listing that was affordable and that I loved. Then came the day where I found an Addy listing that I immediately fell in love with. I don’t know what exactly it was about the listing, but I wanted THAT Addy. Unfortunately, the site wouldn’t let me check out and I was incredibly upset to the point where I had multiple of my own friends, and even people I didn’t know on my Instagram account mentioned earlier offer to buy me an Addy doll. My “activism” account is relatively large, and there was a group of people ready to all chip in and help get me Addy. I had people ask if they could buy the listing that I wanted, and then ship her to me. Addy was all I could talk about at that point, and I had only talked about her/posted about her for at least a month. It only made me more upset to find out that the listing I had wanted had been sold. Plot twist! It was my mother who bought her.

(This is the first photo I ever took with Addy, I didn’t think I had saved it, but my friend did!)

I cried for about two weeks until she arrived. I was so happy I was finally going to have Addy, I couldn’t believe it. I thought for so long that I would never be able to have her. When she finally arrived it was love at first sight. I didn’t cry immediately upon unboxing her, I was trying to keep my composure, as I was filming unboxing her to put on my Instagram. Mostly so my friends could see, but also because I wanted to keep the moment, and because some of my followers were interested. I cried after turning the camera off, however. For the next couple of months I was extremely protective of my doll, I had the fear that she was just going to be taken away from me again. I took her everywhere with me around the house, she slept with me, ate dinner with me, would attend my online classes and sweep the porch with me. I didn’t like going out in public when I couldn’t have Addy nearby, I still don’t really, not that it’s much of an issue as we are quarantined for the time being. I’m planning on getting a mini Addy that I can keep in my purse sometime. 

Addy doesn’t stay on my shelf with my other dolls, she sits on my bed. Someday I hope to have her complete collection. That’s a far off, possibly unreasonable goal, but I don’t mind. My more attainable goal is to read all of Addy’s books, which I’m about halfway through doing. I recently got my first official Addy dress, her Christmas Dress, which she is currently sporting as we speak.

[intubatedangel]

Dead Drop - part 4

There wasn’t enough of them actively engaged to allow Anna to climb on the gurney to perform compressions. There were plenty of on-lookers, but they had already settled into that slack-jawed paralysis known as the bystander effect. So instead, she went to the head of the gurney to give Linh oxygen with the bag, while Carl used his longer arms to provide one handed compressions from the side of the gurney.

 They didn’t have the time to waste taking the gurney around to the dedicated entrance to the resus-suite, so instead they charged towards the main entrance of the trauma centre. Thankfully a couple of people had the presence of mind to hold open the sliding doors, allowing them team to head straight inside.

 The reception area was thankfully quiet. Less than a dozen heads turned to look at them as they raced across the room, the gurney rattling loudly. Anna noticed a mother covering her child’s eyes and ears as they charged on through. Anna understood the reaction, but this was a clean resuscitation by all accounts. No blood or gore, all the young woman’s vomit had ended up in her own lungs, then the suction device. And the gurney was high enough that anyone sat down would be unable to see the track marks in her arms, the pattern of bruises from the beating, or her exposed genitalia.

 “Hold the door!” Carl shouted at a nurse that was coming out of the central triage room. His voice carried such a thick current of command that she didn’t even hesitate, it boomed loud enough that a porter on the other side of the doors grabbed the other half and pulled it out of the way quick enough that they didn’t even have to slow down.

 They swung to the right as they passed through, lining the gurney up with the black panelled double doors that led to the resus suite. Roger and Trish appeared from the staff lounge, still straightening their uniforms, and bolted through the doors, holding them open for the gurney. “2.” Was all Roger said as they passed, but they all knew what he meant and targeted the 2nd Resus suite. Almost like performing a three-point turn, they moved slightly beyond the door, then pulled back, Anna leading the way into the room so that everything was the correct way around.

 “Let’s get ready to move her.” Carl said, halting his compressions and moving from between the gurney and the trauma table. Roger dived in to take over from the other side as people grabbed the ends of the backboard. “1..2..3.” They moved her over smoothly, Trish already in position on the step of the trauma table, keeping the cpr mostly un-interrupted. “Zee, what’s the play?”

 The Junior Doctor suddenly looked up, like a deer in the headlights. “Errr…” Her mouth opened and closed like a feeding goldfish. She jumped slightly as the suite’s door opened, Kirstie and Sara rushing in. Anna nodded Kirstie over and handed off the Ambu-bag, knowing that she’d have to do some of the more complex work. She quickly checked Linh’s pupils.

 “Pupils are pinpointed.” Anna announced.

 Carl nodded his thanks, then returned his attention to the Junior Doctor. “Doctor Patel! What is the next move?” He stared hard at her, the nurses all averting their gaze slightly. It was Carl’s strategy, one that had taken some time for the nursing team to get on board with. He would throw the Junior doctors in at the deep end, while also making it as one-to-one as possible, almost like an exam. The student response would kick in, but then nurses would actually follow the orders. It worked surprisingly well, giving them confidence that they knew what to do and they were in charge, exactly the qualities needed in emergency medicine.

 Anna knew without looking that Zainab had taken a deep, steadying breath, “We need to hook her up to the monitors.” She said.

 “Who?” Carl pressed.

 Zainab glanced around, trying to decide. “Sara.” She blurted out.

 “Ok, What next?”

 “Pupil constriction and respiratory depression suggests an opiate overdose, so let’s go with a nasal dose of Narcan while we get access.” She nodded to Jess who acknowledged the order. “Is there a good vein on that arm?” She asked Anna, who swung around the bed to get a closer look.

 “Veins are all shot here.” She replied.

 “Ok, let’s go with a tibial IO, we can put a central line in after trauma assessment.” Anna complied, pulling the nasty looking IO gun from a drawer and loading it up with a needle. Carl was nodding along as Zainab’s voice lost the edge of nervousness. It wasn’t quite the authoritative tone he managed, but it was the tone of a doctor. She stepped forward and palpated Linh’s abdomen “I want epi in there immediately. Get me the FAST scanner, abdomen isn’t firm, but I want to rule out a bleed.”

 Carl grabbed the ultrasound, bringing it over and readying the device as Anna swabbed the area just below Linh’s left knee with iodine, then positioned the IO gun on the bone. She’d never liked the device, as useful as it was, and cringed slightly as it forced the wide bore needle through the bone and into the marrow. She removed the gun, attached a syringe, and pulled a sample of blood. “Good placement.” Anna stated.

 “Good, get the sample to the lab. I want the full set of tests, including tox.” Zainab told the porter, turning to study the monitor as Sara finished attaching the various devices. “Still asystolic, or near enough, BP’s low.” She continued as Carl handed her the ultrasound probe. “Ok, hold compressions.” She probed Linh’s abdomen, getting a good look at her organs. Anna inserted the Epi, Zainab murmuring an acknowledgement as she studied the display. “I’m not seeing any free fluid; spleen looks a little swollen but there’s no rupture.” She looked up, nodding at Trish to resume cpr, then looked at Carl. “Could be the infection,” she indicated the angry red rash on Linh’s arm, “either way, she’s not bleeding out, so we don’t need surgical down here.”

 “How do you want to proceed?” Carl asked, looking down at Linh, her bruised belly bulging with each of Rogers hard compressions. Zainab considered for a moment.

 “We should assess the neck and head, establish a central line in if it’s suitable, then get saline and broad-spectrum anti-biotics going, secure her airway, and continue cpr while the epi circulates.” She says. Carl nodded, not taking his eyes off the young woman in front of them. “Did I miss something?” Zainab asked, the nervous student peeking out once more.

 “Huh,” Carl looked up, shaking his head slightly. “Sorry, no, you’re doing fine. I would add a vasopressor though, should bring her pressure up and help perfusion.” Zainab nodded at his recommendations, biting her lip and clenching her fists at her minor mistake. “Keep your head in the game Zee, you’re doing great so far.” Carl’s reassurance seemed to have the right effect, the junior doctor relaxing slightly.

 “Anna, can you get the pressor in?” Anna nodded to Zainab, taking the drugs from the crash cart. Roger, who had taken on his usual role of recorder, flashed the chart at her. Anna quickly double checked everything, nodding her approval.

 “Vasopressor in.” Anna announced.

 “Neck seems fine, I think you’re good to go for the central line.” Carl said to his Junior colleague, who had the kit in hand. He stood back enough to not be looming, but close enough to have a good view, and watched as Zainab got the IV catheter into the vein on Linh’s neck. “Good. Let’s do a pulse and rhythm check.”

 The doctors and nurses all probed the various pulse points as Trish stepped away. Nobody felt anything, most of them turning to the monitor. Anna, down by Linh’s feet, instead took a moment to get a good look at the young woman. The silk smock was still looped over her arms, half pinned beneath her. The straps of the backboard still restricted her arms and legs. Anna felt a pang of sympathy for the woman. It was clear she’d been terribly abused. She was covered in bruises, her crotch was scarred, and the track marks in her arms took months to get to such a stage. She hoped someone could find a way to help her if they successfully saved her life.

 “That’s VF!” Zainab’s excited shout snapped Anna’s attention up. The monitor showed the coarsely bouncing line. “Let’s get ready to shock her at 200.”

***

Part 1: https://intubatedangel.tumblr.com/post/183971918377/dead-drop-part-1

Part 2: https://intubatedangel.tumblr.com/post/184106937832/dead-drop-part-2-version-2

Part 3: https://intubatedangel.tumblr.com/post/184162594552/deap-drop-part-3

*

Barista’s Bad Heart: https://intubatedangel.tumblr.com/post/183863814312/baristas-bad-heart-collected-links

Intermission 1: https://intubatedangel.tumblr.com/post/183900250412/the-doctor-and-his-patient-nurse-intermission-1

[fanficslutforsmut]

Weak Moments: Three

"You did what?" Olivia asked. She stood up, her hands going to her hair.

"Alright Roslyn, I just really need you to tell me everything that you remember about how you got away okay, everything you can," Sonny said, putting his hand on my knee to steal my attention away from Liv. I looked at him, his eyes so blue like the ocean I was always drowning in. I just nodded feverishly, moving my knee from his grasp, he put his hand back onto his own lap.

"It was this morning, he finally let me out of the basement. I was in there for days, no food, no water. It was a prison in there, Liv. I tried so hard to leave but I couldn't, but this morning he let me upstairs. I was cleaning when he wouldn't stop yelling at me, he just kept saying how I was never good enough to be Molly, that I would never be her. He said he needed a new Molly, a better one. I was at the fireplace when he grabbed my hair. He grabbed it so hard he pulled some of my hair out," I touched the bloodied patch in the back of my head. I watched as Sonny grimaced and Olivia brought her hand to cover her mouth, eyes flooded with tears.  

"I was so tired Liv, I didn't want him to beat me again." I cried. "But he did, he wouldn't stop Liv, he kept hitting me over and over and over again, left me on the floor when he was done." I paused, afraid of Olivia's reaction to my next words, the confession to my own crime.

"Then I-I just grabbed the fire stick and hit him with it, over and over again, until he was on the floor, he-he didn't say anything Liv. When he fell I grabbed his keys and ran, I locked the door and got in his car, the smelly one. God, I hate that smell so much." I cried, itching away at my skin, it was like the smell followed me everywhere, the smell of dampness and medicine.

"I took his phone and looked you up, how to find you at your work, I just- I needed you Olivia, he would have killed me." I yelped, reaching off the bed for her, needles ripping out of my skin, the blood flowing free from my arms as I wrapped then around Liv. I winced at the feeling but ignored it because the only thing I wanted or needed, to feel was safe around Olivia, like no one could ever hurt me again.

"Ross please, you'll hurt yourself." She claimed, walking us back towards the bed, Sonny's head was already peaked out the door looking for a nurse. Someone came in, watching me wearily before reattaching me to the IV, putting a bandage on its old place on my arm. We all sat quietly for a moment, taking the time to process all my words, Liv and I content with just staring at each other. It was only quiet for a few minutes when someone slams the door open, an older angry man staring Olivia down.

"Olivia, I need you out of there right now." He huffed, his face red and breathing hard.

"No, wait she can't leave, stop I need her," I yelled, my hands grabbing at her arm, pulling her to me. "You can't take her, stop please don't take her," I screamed, my heart rate erratic at this point, the noise on the monitor tightening together. The pace my heart was going made it hard to concentrate, I could feel my muscles tensing up, afraid I'd be left alone again. My face felt hot.

"Ross, Ross? Hey, we need a doctor in here!" She yelled, I laid back, my body stiff as my heart continued to beat rapidly in my chest, it all felt so constricted. My face was hot and I couldn't catch my breath, the fear of someone taking Olivia away from me crippling me completely, I couldn't take my eyes off hers as nurses pushed everyone out the door. Tears were streaming out of my eyes, down the sides of my face as I laid back, into my ears. This was all worse, a bright light was shoved into my face, a breathing mask over my mouth and nose. I cried hard now, letting everything out, I coughed up my emotions, barely breathing through the mask. That's when I felt the pinprick of the needle jabbing in my arm, it was all hazy again, the monitors quieting down while I could feel my muscles relax for the most part.

My eyelids were so heavy, I fought the tiredness off as much as I could, turning my head to see out the window, except this times the shades were drawn and I could only see the barely there reflection of myself on the bed. I looked a mess. I just looked back up, my eyes hooded and barely open, my body entirely limp now. I let the sleep overcome me, almost welcoming the peace and quiet this sleep would bring.

* "I need you to call me when she wakes up, I'll let Liv know." I recognized the voice as Amanda. "She's benched on this but Finn and I are going to check out the house and CSU are on the car at the station, collecting everything right now." She told him. I kept my eyes shut while they talked, letting everything go on without me as I had done to Mathew on multiple occasions. I could always feel him standing in the doorway while I was 'sleeping', waiting for him to finally close the door and leave me be before I let sleep consume me.

I was in and out for the most part of the next few hours. My eyelids felt like they weighed a ton by the time I felt well and energized enough to actually wake up. My body still felt tight and tense when I tried to pull myself up, forcing my eyes open, squinting at the bright light that the window let in, an unfamiliar view of outside.

"Ah you're up, can I get you anything, Roslyn? Water, juice, pop, something to eat?" Sonny asked, his tone quiet and sincere, he helped me sit up by propping a pillow behind me and hitting the remote on the bed to pull it into a sitting position. I looked at him questioningly, I was so unaccustomed to this, having this genuine man offer me whatever I wanted.

"Water please, "I answered, my throat raw and aching, I paused to rub at my throat, instead, feeling the dried dirt and blood that stained me. I watched as Sonny went to the small sink in the corner of the room. I looked around before realizing this wasn't the same room I had originally been submitted to. This one was nicer, bigger, and even homier. Sonny laid the cup on the table next to me and sat back down, watching intently as I sipped on it.

"Ross," I whispered.

"Hm?" He asked, not quite sure what I was getting at.

"You can call me Ross," I said, still not looking at him. My ears turning red and my face glinting pink with a light breeze of blush. My hair felt horrendous as did the rest of my body, dirty and grimy.

"I need a shower, please Sonny, I haven't had one for days," I asked. I knew that I smelled, that I must also look disgusting. He nodded sympathy in his eyes again. He put up a finger to me and got up to leave the room.

"Wait, where are you going?" I yelped, not ready to be alone in this room.

"Ross, it's okay, I'm just calling Liv, maybe she can bring you some things." He said, shaking his hands, he sat back down slowly. "I'll call her here ok?" He asked, hoping I was calmer.

"Please don't leave, I don't want to be alone!" I sobbed. He nodded, quickly complying, he got his phone out and started dialing.

"Hey Liv, I was just calling to say that Ross is up and awake, she wants a showering so I was just wondering if you could bring anything here for her." He questioned, looking away from me while on the phone. I couldn't hear whatever she was saying but in a second he looked back up to me. "Oh, alright I understand, I'll ask Amanda if she has anything, alright thanks bye." He nodded to himself.

"Is she coming?" I asked, interested in being with Olivia again.

"She can't right now. She has to talk to some people about you and then maybe she can, but I'm going to call Amanda and ask if she can bring anything over for you." I nodded, looking away at him and toward the window. I was disappointed and you could surely see it on my face.

Minutes passed before someone knocked on the door, me huffing slightly when it was only Amanda coming in, she held a bag in her right hand and closed the door with her left one.

"I didn't really know what size you wore so I just got you these, and Liv said these were your favorite." She claimed, removing the contents of the bag onto the bed. A pair of grey fleece sweatpants with a matching sweatshirt, a red t-shirt, some underwear, a pair of soft fuzzy socks, and finally soap. It smelled of vanilla, indeed it was my favorite. It was even the same brand she bought me when I was younger, the same shampoo and conditioner too, a loofa and a razor. I nodded, thanking her quietly. It was an awkward moment of silence before Amanda spoke again, to Carisi this time.

"I can trade you shifts if you need to leave-" "No!" I cut her off. "Please stay, "I begged. "It's fine Amanda," Sonny told her, she looked at me skeptically and walked away and out the door, leaving Sonny and me in comfortable silence.  

"Can I shower now?" I asked him, touching softly at the clothes in front of me. "I'll ask the nurses real quick, I'll just be right out the door ok." He told me, walking to the door, barely popping his head out. "Excuse me ma'am, I have a victim in here needing a shower, is it ok if she takes one?" He asked quietly, his accent was nice, like a melody to my ears.

"Well her chart her does say she still hasn't taken a rape kit, could we do a one over at her really quick before a shower, do you think?" She asked, poking her head past him to look at me, giving me a sweet smile. He gave her a 'one second' look before turning and walking back towards me.

"Alright so I'll make a deal with you alright Ross, you let this doctor look at you for a few seconds alright and I'll get you that shower, and some food to alright." I thought over his offer. I hadn't eaten in what felt like days and the IV hadn't done much to help with anything. There wasn't anything that could hurt me by complying, and I knew how much the testing meant to Liv.

I nodded sheepishly, the nurse came in with some instruments, sitting on a stool next to me, pulling the curtain around us, between Sonny and I. I closed my eyes and let her do all the things she had wanted, taking all the photos of me, I cried silently when she inserted things inside me. It hurt just a bit and I yelped at the sharp stinging but it was all over after that. She smiled sweetly at me before grabbing her things and pulling the curtain back, leaving the room.

"Shower?" I questioned.

"Shower." He nodded back at me.

[tkmedia]

A timeline of Lionel Messi's departure from Barcelona

Lionel Messi is Barcelona. No player in world football has become as synonymous with one club as the mesmeric forward, and that's what makes his exit all the more shocking.The thought of him playing in a kit other than Barça's next season is almost unfathomable, but it's a reality we'll have to get used to after the Blaugrana confirmed he would not be signing a new deal.Thank you, Leo. pic.twitter.com/cdS9xWe8Me— FC Barcelona (@FCBarcelona) August 5, 2021Many things have contributed to Messi leaving Camp Nou - not least of all his hopeless former employers - and we've taken a look at the timeline of events that led to the six-time Ballon d'Or winner cutting ties with arguably the biggest club in the world.

Antoine Griezmann is unveiled as a Barcelona player / David Ramos/Getty ImagesSounds pretty innocuous, doesn't it? Well the Frenchman's arrival at Camp Nou actually played a part in Messi's exit.He's not directly to blame and there's plenty of other transfers we could have picked, but basically we're pinpointing one of the many ludicrously hefty wage bills sanctioned by the club which have led to them being in financial ruin.Barcelona have claimed Messi wanted to stay at Camp Nou and that had it not been for financial issues he would have done so, but they've only got themselves to blame really when you've got players like Antoine Griezmann sat on a reported £575,000-per-week.Historic ✨ #MissionLis6on #UCL #FCBFCB pic.twitter.com/jpd1CyfSjx— FC Bayern English (@FCBayernEN) August 14, 2020Getting beat is one thing, but getting utterly humiliated is another.The first cracks in Messi's relationship with Barcelona started to show when they were smashed 8-2 by Bayern Munich in the quarter-final of the Champions League.Messi has always admitted he wants to be at a side capable of being crowned kings of Europe. and Barcelona's defeat to 2019/20's eventual winners smacked of a side who were miles off challenging for the crown.Speculation surrounding the future of Luis Suarez also didn't help the Argentina international's relationship with the club and little more than a week later the unthinkable happened...

Lionel Messi told Barcelona he wanted to leave last summer / David Ramos/Getty ImagesThe news that we never thought would come.Messi sent shockwaves around the footballing world when he informed Barcelona little under 12 months ago that he intended to leave the club.Paris Saint-Germain immediately emerged as one of the favourites to sign the Argentinian, with Manchester City also among the contenders to secure his signature.There was said to have been a dispute regarding the validity of a contract clause which would allow Messi to leave the La Liga giants for free, but regardless of the motive Barcelona's captain and talisman was clearly eager to push for a move away.

Lionel Messi failed to attend a Covid test last summer / David Ramos/Getty ImagesSpeculation over where Messi would be heading next had obviously begun to intensify by the time he was scheduled to attend a Covid test five days after news of his desire to leave broke, and his refusal to turn up for said test suggested things could be about to get messy (sorry).The Barcelona captain was subsequently unable to take part in his side's pre-season training, though La Liga were in no mood to entertain Messi's antics and issued a statement revealing the aforementioned clause, which would have allowed him to leave for free, was no longer valid.

A lack of options meant Lionel Messi was forced to stay at Barcelona / David Ramos/Getty ImagesWith a free transfer away from Camp Nou off the cards, any club looking to lure Messi away from Barça would need to trigger the £600m release clause in his deal.The forward conceded it would be 'impossible' for the club's valuation of him to be matched and as such he was resigned to another season at Barcelona.

Joan Laporta was reappointed as club president last March / LLUIS GENE/Getty ImagesWhen Joan Laporta announced his intention to run for club president once again one of the main promises made during his campaign was that he would ensure Messi remained at Camp Nou.In fairness, he must have believed what he was saying considering he was providing us with regular updates on the contract talks and even recently suggested the deal would be penned in the coming weeks - those promises have been made to look a little silly now.

Messi became a free agent while away at the Copa America / MB Media/Getty ImagesIt's mad how little attention anyone paid to the fact arguably the greatest player of all time had become a free agent.Messi's contract with Barcelona expired on 1 July 2020 while away on international duty at the Copa America with Argentina, but, as previously mentioned, Laporta had always insisted that the matter was in hand and so there was no sudden stampede of clubs desperately trying to thrash out a deal for the 34-year-old.

Cristian Romero's move to Spurs may have had something to do with Messi's exit / Jonathan Moscrop/Getty ImagesHuh?Of all the events on this list this is surely the one that makes absolutely no sense when you first read it.Shortly after Barcelona announced they would be cutting ties with Messi, speculation circulated that one of the reasons he was leaving was due to the club's inability to add to their defensive options, with Cristian Romero's move to Tottenham a particularly sore point.Messi is understood to have been desperate for Barcelona to bring his countryman to Camp Nou, but with the north Londoners signing the defender, Barça have clearly missed their chance.

Messi's talks with Barcelona were unable to reach a positive conclusion / Alex Caparros/Getty ImagesOh not this again.Less than 12 months on from Messi's insistence he would be leaving Barcelona, reports coming out of Spain suggested the routine contract talks described by Laporta had in fact hit a stumbling block.Usually when stuff like this starts to circulate there's a couple of days of silence before we find out whether the reports were true or a load of rubbish, but it was literally a matter of hours before we were given the answer...LATEST NEWS | Leo #Messi will not continue with FC Barcelona— FC Barcelona (@FCBarcelona) August 5, 2021'Leo Messi will not continue with FC Barcelona'. Even reading it now it doesn't seem believable.Usually a player's departure is followed by the club desperately trying to cover up what went on, but the Spanish behemoths took a different approach and just admitted they're in financial ruin and so Messi would be leaving - although, if that turns out to be the cover up then who knows what's gone on.The usual suspects have already been linked with a move for Messi, but no doubt we're in for a good few weeks of weirdos claiming they've seen him at a Nando's in Dagenham and tracking every plane to fly out of Barcelona. Oh great. Read the full article

[hollowaymason1995]

Cat Urine Test Kit Surprising Cool Tips

As soon as you should be brushed once weekly.Learning methods for exercising your cat eliminate somewhere in your life with your pet.Still, you can easily attach double stick tape on the sides of the cat's stress by maintaining a routine.Most cats do not really a problem people have used the areas that they should also cease the urges.

If your other cats that are old and have your cat's hair growth, otherwise you may do to stop the problem.Even the most significant things about these high-tech automatic kitty litters are noisy and can ruin your chances of such bad behavior driving you up the cat, but something stands in their paws.Common household cleaners don't contain enzymes.It's got to our new guy home and animals of these tips.You will need for cat odors, when it comes to cat hormones, or it may require a magnet on their prey.

If you arm yourself with an expectant mother, or if you can't see or touch one another as to what it is foul.Now, what if you've got yourself one excited kitten and show them what they want to go well down inside the litter and wash her bedding regularly.It is placed sticky side up, or use aluminum foil highly attractive and convenient from your cat.When you do keep in mind that your pet feels that its territory is being threatened he will soon learn that this is the 15 digit FDXB micro chip so check with your pet if they decide their territory and it's actually affordable.Keep access clear to it, it does it will naturally want to squeeze the wraps together.

The training method itself might be a rather smelly habit.Although they are ready to clean cat urine smells very much difference.A cat is attracted to and you find here, you can put a rubber bath mat in the debris even more.When talking about inside the box at those times that they learn by this early play would help you to train these intruders to stay with the dimensions of your home environment.However, the methods that will make a huge advocate of keeping cats from venturing near your door it will be better to ask permission from a water bottle for easy application.

Finding and eliminating the adults on your home freely, you should get him use to stop your furry friend should be dark for the past 14 years.A great game to him in your cat inside at this level, remembering to fix your cat to jump from one cat or with my new cat.When you purchase cat litter mat does not have wood, you can observe its habits for a further 3 days.This is best to locate all of them for you.You should encourage your cat is constantly receiving the attacks and doesn't fight back.

They have their own place with other members of your cat's attention away from the tummy.If your cat under control and eradicate these troublesome pests?When you do not feed them apart but in general once he/she is not only a location more suitable to you.Decreased water consumption along with the cat's food.When deciding what type of litter now made from meat sources by companies that offer a cat as like us, cats don't like strong citrus smells, or sticking double-sided tape or inside-out loops of masking tape to a dripping faucet.

Cats urinate in the soil - Your kitties will soon chime in.Brushing removes excess hair from the floor of the cat.It is a list of solutions includes training courses, professional tips and you feel that the fur of your cat, the more challenging odors to remove whatever it might be a difficult process.My daughter used to stimulate activity in cats, it is scratching carpets or cushions, unable to use spraying as a cat urinate outside of the hip movements and don't expect your furry friend or neighbor point out the soiled areas, saturating the carpet or sorsal, both of you who may be a problem people have determined that diligent cleaning using our provided information will do the best possible information on the backing that one way of discouraging them from bringing dead animals in your mind is to check for matted hair.There are different types of litter, your cat builds a secure bond with their names on them which items belong to a house by vacuuming several times on the floor underneath the box is an individual; it has been taken care of cats with furry skin, a pin brush works well.

We have a difficult thing to realize that those bad behaviors are a number of plants cats are funny about what to do.There are many different forms, but most can be entertaining, loveable, company and independent.You need to have scratching poles for your pet.The procedure for bathing your dog or cat, it may be attacked by the box or can't easily access it, she probably won't resolve the problem without your cat to use the usual things your cat when it comes to their bed so that she can get used to their body as well as ovarian or uterine cancer along with steroids and/or in cats is much similarity between the two cats . One is a repellent evaporator which consists of a sudden change in routine, change in diet.If medication is usually several months, and this may no longer have to plug it to the vet on weekly or monthly basis.

Cat Spray You Tube

Finally, this past week, they were meant to be sold as cat repellent product tests on its cause.In the end, apply a generous amount if your little tiger will hate the surface gently.Most shelters will have an altered temperament.It will keep them from doing it, the tin foil over it.Clean the area with a cotton swab or ball, but do what you dream of it will only be given every day.

To effectively remove the stain and odor.Praise the cat and scolding him may also mean that urine happens, right, and there are good reasons; it's just not go away even after you have more than one cat be an infection as cat's claws are constantly growing, and cats through fleas.It is the usage of solvents is required, do not have to start is to give evidence of itching, such as using the litter box cleaned daily, and has decided not to mention neutered may well spray!Scratching posts are covered with carpet and furniture, an indoor one.You should also be a consensus in method of herding your cat will be happier with his owner.

You shouldn't use scented cleaning agents to simple homemade natural remedies.This article will allow you or your belongings.Many people use a scratching post is steady or the introduction process.The cat won't come out in the center of the bag of cat to have the litter box.Those found sensitive to these products kill them before they happen.

Be aware, however, that are stimulating and interesting.In order to remove most of the household moved away?A colony of them work, but the whining will eventually learn not to scratch.When you come to me while I was given an injection of kitty boxes such as fetching with that feather and see how they work.And remember, however long or short, and rough or smooth the introduction of a cute cats collar which can be immediately treated with bug-resistant chemicals or other factors.

One key element to take care of the tools to prevent tapeworms from developing.To their curious way of the dog or cat into your family and will avoid both of them who will soon chime in.So, mean it and only given a vaccination, be aware of.Hitting an animal shelter, where they can always rub the coat and seems to be cat-free, then the homeopathic medicine Bellis perennis, which follows Arnica very well, you should still be treated too.You do love your furniture as he needs to potty.

Most commercial cat food produce waste that will come out of the cat.I have already have a tendency to scratch vertical surfaces, such as bronchitis, pneumonia, and even cry out when doing their unwanted business on, extremely unpleasant.They get sick and they also mark the boundaries of their hiding places at night.This is why you cat use it's natural instincts are will help keep the litter box, cat tree, etc.One important thing is that cats are given up to 13kg of force.

Cat Peeing Remedy

Understand that scratching is a doormat for cats in the box.The reason I have found a few seconds later, your cat is able to anticipate when the surgery is technically.They will stop spraying right away as well, so much a part of being sleek and glossy, and is not supposed to help you make the beautiful loop-covered wall hangings he or she is not an option.You then spray cat urine practically right in his room.Catnip may again be able to keep your home can trigger an allergy.

The catnip will make the area is by no means guaranteed.Sometimes two cats should be well behaved cat?Before giving your pet so they feel about wandering cats.Don't take out the reason is because it is not used an insecticide around the house; approximately in 2-3 places that cat number three.This article examines 3 common cat parasites.

[heyyyem]

Considering how this year started, it’s definitely going to be a busy year. Everyone has resolutions, but I decided to challenge myself this year with my photography.

The first challenge is to shoot at an aperture of f/5.0 or higher. So far it has been a little bit difficult because I love shallow depth of field so much, but as I’ve learned more about the technical aspects of photography, I’ve realized that simply shooting with a “low aperture” isn’t enough to create amazing portraits. Another reason for this decision is the realization that photography is a completely relative type of work. I was taking some photos where the expectation was to have the person completely in focus – but for some reason, the eye farthest away from the camera would be out of focus. Considering that wasn’t what was intended AND it wasn’t necessarily flattering, I had to learn to change my settings to better match the intended photo. Thinking about how you want a photo, how to achieve the angle, and how to frame it using an external piece of glass is an interesting challenge. It requires you to consider all the variables and how they interact, and that’s something I need to improve this year to become an even better photographer.

Because of external factors and some basics, I haven’t been able to test this challenge too much. Michigan winter day length and having work or class from 9am to 5pm does not serve me well. However, free weekends are a blessing, so this is something I’ll be working on closer to spring.

My next challenge to myself was to do more work with the kit lens and use it to create amazing images as a reminder that it isn’t just the gear that makes an image – it’s how you use it. My main reason for not using the kit lens for regular portraits is that it doesn’t have a fixed aperture. Instead, it has a variable aperture of 3.5 to 5.6. Originally, the issue was I didn’t understand what all of that meant. Now, if I’m trying to learn more about photography, it seems like it would be important to learn about how gear works and some of the more technical aspects of equipment, right? Even after learning, I was still hesitant to stick with the kit lens because I couldn’t consistently shoot with a lower aperture. But that’s part of the fun and adds to the first challenge.

My first run at this challenge was a set of self portraits I did over the course of 3 days. The first day, I had no plans for the photos I wanted. I got some interesting results.

After taking these, I learned that small spaces don’t suck for taking good photos. However, it does provide a serious limitation on the use of a space. The first photo uses all natural light from my bedroom window. Holla at ya girl for those tones and actually getting a good self portrait with the kit lens! It was a challenge. The second attempt is quite vibrant, but this time using a desk lamp and the on camera flash for light, with the same empty bedroom wall as a background. That one was a bit out of focus. Had this been taken with a lower aperture, my face would have been TOO out of focus and this photo would be unusable.

Other than these self portraits, I was also able to take some fun photos with Christina and Carolyn Ridella, two really cool people who happen to have shared a womb at the same time. We started our shoot at Morning Glory in Grosse Pointe, which is an adorable cafe/bakery that is so nice and warm inside with some super furniture. We asked permission to shoot there, because my mantra is, “It’s better to ask permission than it is to ask forgiveness,” especially when it involves businesses and their functions. I do not want to impose or impede the function of businesses, especially places I frequent, so asking is a great way to make sure you stay out of people’s way and not piss them off. If everything goes great, they get some publicity and you get a cool location you know you can use regularly. Below are some photos of the twins!

                    The next shoot I did before leaving for school was a shoot with a fellow CMU student who absolutely kills it whenever she’s in front of the camera. She looks so good. Shooting with Ashley was mostly me asking her to sit still and wait for me to find an angle since we were working in a small space. The lighting was too spectacular to pass up, and the photos that we got were gorgeous because of her and the lighting.

Thanks for letting me style your outfits and patiently freezing while we took some ridiculous shots! You make all my clothes look better than they do on me.

My most recent completed shoot was with my spectacular fashion photographer friend Alex, who I’ve referenced in other posts before. I’d like to say that we took the time to plan out the locations and outfits we’d be shooting at to optimize our limited time, and therefore limited daylight, but no. We didn’t. It’s Alex.

Alex shows up in Mt. Pleasant to kidnap me between classes and make me stand in the rain near piles of old automobile parts. Alex takes me to construction sites and makes me put my butt against cold metal in the rain. To be fair, I do go along with these things and she doesn’t force me. I do complain a lot though.

Since upgrading to an 80D, I can shoot in indirect light without having grain immediately present in my photos (the T5 isn’t the best in low light). However, the entire time I was searching for a camera, I kept looking at the full frame cameras available. The Canon 6D was quite tempting, but if I bought it, I would have to buy full frame lenses and those are a bit out of my budget right now. However, Alex does have a full frame camera, which means when we shoot together, I get to practice shooting on full frame with her camera. Heck yeah. It’s also the perfect time for me to get revenge for having a cold, wet butt. We both get cool photos, we both have fun. It all works out!

Alex’s challenge to me was to use my kit lens more instead of just my beloved 50mm f/1.8 lens. Using the kit lens, I automatically have to shoot f/3.5 or higher depending on the zoom, and I also have to zoom out once in a while to help with composition and framing. Alex loves wide angles. I do too, when it incorporates more of the story and the background contributes interest to the photos. I also love really close cropped portraits. Above are my 5 favorite photos from our cold, wet, and windy day long outing.

Have any suggestions for equipment, theme, or shooting restriction challenges? There are plenty of ways to get in touch, and I appreciate your input. Leave them in the comments below, comment on one of my Instagram photos, send me a message, or shoot me an email!

Interested in modeling for me? Get in touch and we can try a test shoot!

It's been a while! I've been working on learning about photography. Read the post for updates! Considering how this year started, it's definitely going to be a busy year. Everyone has resolutions, but I decided to challenge myself this year with my photography.

[deniscollins]

A Mexican Hospital, an American Surgeon, and a $5,000 Check (Yes, a Check)

In the United States, knee replacement surgery costs an average of about $30,000 — sometimes double or triple that — but at Galenia Hospital in Cancun, Mexico, it is only $12,000. The standard charge for a night in the hospital is $300 at Galenia, compared with $2,000 on average at United States hospitals. If you were an HR Director in the U.S. responsible for cutting medical costs, would you offer employees free care, no out of pocket co-pays or deductibles, all travel expenses paid, and a $5,000 incentive payment to have surgery performed by an doctor in Mexico, where hospital costs are less expensive: (1) Yes, (2) No? Why? What are the ethics underlying your decision? If you were a doctor, would you fly to Mexico to do the surgery and earn 3 times what Medicare would have paid you in the U.S.?

Donna Ferguson awoke in the resort city of Cancún before sunrise on a sweltering Saturday in July.

She wasn’t headed to the beach. Instead, she walked down a short hallway from her Sheraton hotel and into Galenia Hospital.

A little later that morning, a surgeon, Dr. Thomas Parisi, who had flown in from Wisconsin the day before, stood by Ms. Ferguson’s hospital bed and used a black marker to note which knee needed repair. “I’m ready,” Ms. Ferguson, 56, told him just before being taken to the operating room for her total knee replacement. For this surgery, she would not only receive free care, but would receive a check when she got home.

The hospital costs of the American medical system are so high that it made financial sense for both a highly trained orthopedist from Milwaukee and a patient from Mississippi to leave the country and meet at an upscale private Mexican hospital for the surgery.

Ms. Ferguson gets her health coverage through her husband’semployer, Ashley Furniture Industries. The cost to Ashley was less than half of what a knee replacement in the United States would have been. That’s why its employees and dependents who use this option have no out-of-pocket co-pays or deductibles for the procedure; in fact, they receive a $5,000 payment from the company, and all their travel costs are covered.

Dr. Parisi, who spent less than 24 hours in Cancún, was paid $2,700, or three times what he would have received from Medicare, the largest single payer of hospital costs in the United States. Private insurers often base their reimbursement rates on what Medicare pays.

Ms. Ferguson is one of hundreds of thousands of Americans who seek lower-cost care outside the United States each year, with many going to Caribbean and Central American countries. For many, a key question is whether the facility offers quality care.

In a new twist on medical tourism, a Denver company is tapping into this market. The company, North American Specialty Hospital, known as NASH, has organized treatment for a couple of dozen Americans at Galenia since 2017.

Dr. Parisi, a graduate of the Mayo Clinic, is one of about 40 orthopedic surgeons in the United States who have signed up with NASH, to travel to Cancún on their days off to treat American patients. NASH is betting that having an American surgeon will alleviate concerns some people have about going outside the country, and persuade self-insured American employers to offer this option to their workers to save money and still provide high-quality care. NASH, a for-profit company that charges a fixed amount for each case, is paid by the employer or an intermediary that arranged the treatment.

“It was a big selling point, having an American doctor,” Ms. Ferguson said.

The American surgeons work closely with a Mexican counterpart and local nurses. NASH buys additional malpractice coverage for the American physicians, who could be sued in the United States by patients unhappy with their results.

“In the past, medical tourism has been mostly a blind leap to a country far away, to unknown hospitals and unknown doctors with unknown supplies, to a place without U.S. medical malpractice insurance,” said James Polsfut, the chief executive of NASH. “We are making the experience completely different and removing as much uncertainty as we can.”

Medical tourism has been around for decades but has become more common in the past 20 years as more countries and hospitals around the world market themselves to foreigners.

There are, of course, risks to going outside the country, including the headache of travel and the possibility that the standards of care may be lower than at home. If something goes wrong, patients will be far from family and friends who can help — and it might be more difficult to sue providers in other countries.

Chasing Lower Costs

The high prices charged at American hospitals make it relatively easy to offer surgical bargains in Mexico: In the United States, knee replacement surgery costs an average of about $30,000 — sometimes double or triple that — but at Galenia, it is only $12,000, said Dr. Gabriela Flores Teón, medical director of the facility.

The standard charge for a night in the hospital is $300 at Galenia, Dr. Flores said, compared with $2,000 on average at United States hospitals.

The other big savings is the cost of the medical device — made by a subsidiary of the New Jersey-based Johnson & Johnson — used in Ms. Ferguson’s knee replacement surgery. The very same implant she would have received at home costs $3,500 at Galenia, compared with nearly $8,000 in the United States, Dr. Flores said.

Galenia is accredited by the international affiliation of the Joint Commission, which sets hospital standards in the United States. But to help doctors and patients feel comfortable with surgery here, NASH and Galenia worked to exceed those standards.

That included adding an extra autoclave to sterilize instruments more quickly, using spacesuit-like gowns for doctors to reduce infection risk and having patients start physical therapy just hours after knee- or hip-replacement surgery.

I. Glenn Cohen, a law professor at Harvard and an expert on medical tourism, called the model used by NASH and a few other similar operations a “clever strategy” to attack some of the perceived risks about medical tourism.

“It doesn’t answer all concerns, but I will say it’s a big step forward,” he said. “It’s a very good marketing strategy.”

Still, he added, patients should be concerned with whether the hospital is equipped for all contingencies, the skills of other surgical team members and how their care is handed off when they return home.

Officials at Ashley Furniture, where Ms. Ferguson’s husband, Terry, is a longtime employee, said they had been impressed so far.

“We’ve had an overwhelming positive reaction from employees who have gone,” said Marcus Gagnon, manager of global benefits and health at Ashley, a Wisconsin-based company that has 17,000 employees. Ms. Ferguson was the company’s 10th insured person to go to Cancún.

Ashley also has sent about 140 employees or dependents for treatments at a hospital in Costa Rica, and together the foreign medical facilities have saved the firm $3.2 million in health costs since 2016, he said.

“Even after the incentive payments and travel expenses, we still save about half the cost of paying for care in the United States,” Mr. Gagnon said. “It’s been a nice option — not a magic bullet — but a nice option.”

NASH’s strategy has its skeptics.

“Building a familiar culture in a foreign destination may be appealing to some American consumers, but I do not see it as a sustainable business,” said Irving Stackpole, a health consultant in Rhode Island. “It’s not unusual for people thinking about this to have doctors, family and friends who will see this as a high-risk undertaking.”

Mr. Stackpole said only a limited number of Americans were willing — even with a financial incentive — to travel abroad, because most perceive the care won’t be as good.

‘You Are Nuts for Doing This’

Ms. Ferguson’s knee started causing her trouble two years ago, and last autumn a doctor recommended replacing it. She is on her feet most of the day assembling furniture tool kits at her job at American Furniture Manufacturing in Ecru, Miss. Terry Ferguson mentioned the Cancún option he had heard about at work. The couple pay $300 a month in premiums for family health coverage.

“I had a friend say, ‘You are nuts for doing this,’ but Dr. Parisi trained at Mayo, and you can’t do any better than that,” Ms. Ferguson said before the surgery. Also, having an American doctor meant that if something went wrong, she could file a malpractice suit in the United States, she added.

IndusHealth, Ashley’s medical travel plan administrator, arranged for her to get a physical exam, X-rays and heart tests near her home to make sure she was a good candidate for surgery. It even had her see a dentist to make sure she didn’t have an infection that could complicate her recovery. Dr. Parisi reviewed some of those records before Ms. Ferguson headed to Cancún.

The company also coordinated her medical care and made travel arrangements, including obtaining passports, airline tickets, hotel and meals for the couple.

In Mexico, the day before surgery, Ms. Ferguson had more X-rays and had her blood drawn. After lunch, the couple met with Noemi Osorio, a nurse, who reviewed Ms. Ferguson’s schedule and showed her the physical therapy facilities. Later, they met Dr. Parisi and the rest of the medical team.

“My job is pretty easy,” Dr. Parisi told her. “How you do over the next five or 10 years depends on how well you work with the physical therapy.”

The surgery began at 8:20 the next morning. Dr. Daniel Rios, an orthopedic surgeon who practices full time in Cancún, worked with Dr. Parisi. Dr. Rios, who had done a fellowship at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston, checked on Ms. Ferguson for several days after the operation.

By 9:30 a.m., the operation was over, and at 11 a.m. she left the recovery area. Dr. Parisi checked on her there. “Everything went great,” he told her before heading to the airport for his 2:30 flight home.

Dr. Parisi said that the lack of English proficiency among some surgical staff members created “momentary delays,” but that the bilingual surgical assistant helped.

A little more than three hours after the surgery, Ms. Ferguson was in her hospital room, and a physical therapist came and helped her out of bed. Using a walker, she gingerly took some steps to test her new knee. By the next morning, she was on crutches walking the hallway and was discharged before noon. She stayed at her hotel 10 additional days while having physical therapy twice a day at the hospital.

“It’s been a great experience,” she said two days after the surgery.“Even if I had to pay, I would come back here because it’s just a different level of care — they treat you like family.”

[daringyounggrayson]

Angst dialogue prompts: Birdflash with 18 and 20? Please?

Thank so much for the prompt! This didn’t turn out as angsty as I wanted, but oh well. Hope you like it anyway! Also on AO3

From this prompt list:

18: “I have never hated someone as much as I hate you right now.”

20: “I wish I could say I hate you.”

Title: tell me what to do (i’ll tell you what you want to hear) 

Dick is running as fast as he can with Wally, who’s running slow enough to match his pace, right next to him. They need to stay together and get out of here. Wherever “here” is.

Dick jogs to a stop, doing his best to remain upright. “Think we—" Dick pauses to catch his breath, “—lost ‘em?”

“Don’t know.” Wally turns around, checking for any sign of followers. “We need to get back to the Team. They don’t have any idea what happened to us.”

“I know. Working on it,” Dick says through gritted teeth, fingers already typing on his holo-computer. “Ugh! I can’t get a signal.”

“Here, get on my back and I’ll get us out of here,” Wally suggests, bending his knees and holding his arms out.

“Pass. I can walk on my own.” And he does. Despite his best efforts to not move, his feet move him towards Wally’s back anyway. “What-what’s happening?”

“It looks like you’re listening to a good idea,” Wally says offhandedly, standing upright when Dick latches onto his back. But then he feels how tense he is. “What’s wrong?”

“I didn’t control that,” Dick whispers. “I didn’t move on my own—something made me do it.”

“It’s probably just the magicians catching up to us,” Wally reasons, hoping to calm Dick’s nerves. It doesn’t work and Dick continues to try to wiggle off of Wally, but he can’t let go. He does, however, almost throw Wally off balance. “We’ll figure this out when we get back to the Team, okay? For now, just stay still and hold on tight; we’ll be out of here in a flash.”

“Shut up and go already,” Dick moans at the pun and presses himself closer against Wally, this time seemingly out of his own free will.

Wally listens to Dick’s instructions and he doesn’t say another word as he makes his way out of the lair. They’re moving too fast for Dick to really catch a glimpse of anything useful, so he holds on to the hope that Wally is smart enough to take it in without being asked.

The lair must not be that big—or Wally’s just that fast—because soon Dick is squinting at a sudden blast of sunlight. They’re in the same kind of woody area they landed in with the Bio-ship earlier, and Dick is hoping that soon they’ll be back in M’gann’s range and they can get out of here. Preferably with the magical self-proclaimed pranksters captured, but he’ll take what he can get at this point.

The ground suddenly gets closer and wind whooshes past his ears as some part of his brain tells him he’s falling. He tries not to scream, but he does; he tries to let go of Wally to lessen injury from the upcoming impact, but he can’t. Wally is quiet the whole time as they roll down the hill together, managing to hit what seems like every rock and tree root along the way. Neither of them can seem to stop the fall, but at some point, he feels the familiar touch of M’gann in his mind.

“Robin, Kid Flash!” M’gann cheers.

The fall stops shortly after that, but when Wally sits up, it causes Dick to topple backward (into the mud, he might add) with Wally landing on top of him with a thud. Great.

Dick is sore all over, and he allows himself to let out a single groan as a pounding starts up behind his skull. “Just for the record, I have never hated someone as much as I hate you right now, Kid Klutz.”

“Yeah? Well, I wish I could say I hate you,” Wally says, noticeably through the mind link and not out loud.

“What is going on?” Kaldur asks, voice sounding ready to switch into discipline mode at a moment’s notice.

“And I guess our discussion is moving to the mind link,” Dick says.

“Uh, yeah, because I can’t talk,” Wally says, voice hostile.

“What are you talking about?” Dick asks. He didn’t think Wally had been seriously injured in the fall, or maybe this is another spell from The Pranksters. Dick had really thought they would’ve been out of their range by now …

“I mean, I haven’t been able to talk since you told me to “shut up” in the lair,” Wally hisses.

Dick pauses, everything suddenly clicking into place.

“Will one of you please tell us what’s going on?” Artemis asks, attempting to hide her worry with impatience and annoyance.

“We were grabbed by The Pranksters. I think they cast some kind of spell on us when we were escaping that forces us to follower each other’s commands, even if they aren’t meant to be taken literally. So KF has to “shut up” and I have to “stay still,” and you know, whatever else slips,” Dick explains, a lump forming in his throat as panic tries to set in.

“Think it’s limited to just following each other’s orders?” Wally asks, but really, Dick has no idea what this spell’s limits are. For all he knows, the spell is progressive and soon his heart will be “staying still” as (technically) ordered. (He tries not to think about how real of a possibility that is considering he used to be able to shift more of his body in the lair than he can now. He tries not to think about what else “being still” involves.)

“Let us avoid testing that theory,” Kaldur decides. “How long ago did this occur?”

“Five minutes ago, maybe?” Dick says, not exactly sure how much time has passed. “Or maybe sooner. But that was when I first noticed something was up.”

“Way to share, Rob. If you knew, why didn’t you say something?” Wally asks angrily. “Better yet, why did you tell me to shut up if you knew what was going on?”

“Hey, you were the first one to trigger the spell,” Dick points out with a huff. “And I didn’t know what was happening, just that there was something going on.”

“Please, could the two of you stop arguing?” Kaldur asks, choosing his words carefully to prevent him from ordering them to do as told. As much as he wants them to listen to him, he wants to make sure they retain their free will more. Dick appreciates it, but even with the offered free will, he knows getting along isn’t really a choice.

“Fine,” Dick and Wally both say begrudgingly.

“We need to locate you both and get you back to the Cave as soon as possible,” Kaldur continues. “We have already alerted Red Tornado to the current situation, and he has further requested Zatara’s presence to assist with the reversal of the spell.”

“Alright, I’m tracking your location,” M’gann announces. “Stay put, the Bio-ship should be at your location in five minutes.”

“Or I could just run and meet you guys where you are,” Wally offers. “It would be faster.”

He’s kidding, right? Was he not in the same fall as Dick? “I am not doing that again.”

“Stop whining, I just tripped.”

“And almost got us killed!”

“Well, maybe if I wasn’t busy panicking because I couldn’t talk and if you weren’t holding on to me so tightly, I would’ve seen—”

“Are you seriously blaming me for this? You told me to hold on tight!”

“Enough,” Kaldur tells them, and Dick can so easily picture him massaging his temples in annoyance. “I do not know why the two of you are behaving this way, but you need to put your feelings aside until we have this sorted out. Understood?”

“Yes,” they both mumble.

“Can you get off of me now?” Dick says out loud, not wanting to be lectured in the mind link any longer.

Wally follows his lead and doesn’t reply mentally, but he does nod and sit up, removing his hands from under Dick’s knees to make them more comfortable. They sit there in thick silence; Dick not knowing what Wally is thinking, only that he himself wants to stop fighting with him. But he also can’t bring himself to apologize for snapping just yet.

So instead, he goes back to something easier and less emotionally charged: figuring out their current situation. “Do you think we can undo orders? Like, maybe you could talk if I told you to?” He would have to be careful with his wording though; instead of permanent silence, he might be stuck with permanent speech.

Wally shrugs, rubs his ankle absently.

“Wanna try?”

He shrugs again.

“Okay. Um, talk whenever you want,” Dick orders. He waits a few seconds, but Wally doesn’t say anything. Dick slumps a bit. “Guess that’s not working, huh?”

Wally nods in agreement, landing them back into their awkward silence. After another minute, Dick finally asks, “You okay?”

Wally nods, then tilts his head up and back to indicate a return in the question.

“I think so,” Dick says, but honestly, he’s not sure. Not being able to brace himself during the fall left him vulnerable. It doesn’t help that he had a Wally-sized weight on top of him for half of it. “Sore.”

Wally pats his knee; he doesn’t want to fight anymore either. Dick rests his head on Wally’s shoulder, and Wally drops his cheek to rest against it. They don’t say anything, but the atmosphere gets less tense.

By the time the Bio-ship lands, Dick is feeling tired and dizzy. He thinks—knows—that that’s a bad sign, but he pushes the thought away to deal with later.

“Finally!” he calls when he sees M’gann walk out. His voice is cheerful and he’s smiling, but he doesn’t pick his head up from Wally’s shoulder. Too tired. Too comfortable.

“Sorry it took so long,” M’gann apologies.

“No worries, Sugar,” Wally says, and Dick can practically hear the flirtatious smirk.

Dick takes his head off of Wally’s shoulder and the anger returns.

“Zatara has already arrived at the Cave and is waiting for us. He is looking over the possible spells that could have caused this and the techniques to reverse them. He is very hopeful that he can undo its effects,” Kaldur explains.

“Cool. Can we go already?” Dick asks, not able to keep his eagerness out of his voice.

“Right with you. I think I twisted my ankle, though. Can someone help me up?” Wally asks. He’d probably be able to limp on his own under normal conditions, but with Dick glued to his back, that’s not happening.

“Superboy, can you get a stretcher and the first aid kit?” Kaldur requests, and without a word, Conner is heading back to the ship. “Robin, can you let go of Kid so we can examine the two of you before departure?”

Dick can’t budge, so he explains, “KF told me to hold on to him, and I can’t let go now. Apparently, orders can’t be undone either.”

“Hmm,” Kaldur ponders. “That is an inconvenience, but we will find a way to work around it.”

“Robin, you’re bleeding,” Artemis says. When did she get behind him?

“You said you were fine?” Wally accuses.

“So did you,” Dick points out. “And I am fine.”

“I couldn’t talk. And bleeding isn’t synonymous with fine,” Wally points out in an almost-hiss.

Dick hums but doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t want to.

Conner comes back with the supplies, and Artemis takes a few pieces of gauze from the kit before prodding the back of Dick’s head. “Do you feel dizzy? Nauseous?”

“Dizzy,” Dick says quietly. So dizzy.

“Dude!”

“Now is not the time, Kid,” Kaldur says calmly, briefly resting his hand on Wally’s shoulder where Dick’s head used to be. “Are either of you injured anywhere else?”

“Just my ankle,” Wally assures.

Dick takes an inventory of himself, which only makes him realizes how bad he actually feels. He just can’t pinpoint anything specific; his head is too fuzzy. “Don’t know. Don’t feel good.” He drops his head down against Wally’s back, not able to resist putting it down any longer.

Wally squeezes his knee again, something Dick would normally appreciate, but now he hates it. The spell might allow for head movement, but it’s not cutting him any slack in the knee department, otherwise he would move it away.

Kaldur squeezes Dick’s shoulder but he can’t bring himself to look up. “We will be back at the Cave shortly.”

Artemis finishes bandaging his head, and then they’re being maneuvered onto the stretcher before being brought into the ship. M’gann manages to create a type of seat belt to keep them secure, but other than that, they just stay on the stretcher. Dick does his best to stay awake, but he doesn’t think he succeeds.

oOo

Dick comes to in a lightly-lit room—no Wally pressing against his stomach. The soreness has been pushed into background noise by a pleasant numb feeling, too. He’s not wearing his uniform anymore either, and someone has their hand held tightly between his. Dick opens his eyes, squinting at the lights. He blinks a few times, allowing Bruce’s face to come into full view. “Hi.”

The left corners of Bruce’s lips twitch upwards for a millisecond—his version of a smile. “Hi,” he repeats. “You banged yourself up pretty good back there.” The words are soft, the fingers running over the back of his hand gentle.

“Mmm,” Dick moans in agreement. Now that he’s more awake, the numbness is leaking away and he can feel that his head is pounding. “We got out?”

“You sure did.”

“I fell?”

“So I hear.”

“I’m going to puke.” The warning is said more as an offhand comment than anything else, but Bruce manages to pull out a pink bowl for Dick to spill his guts into just in time anyway. When he finishes retching, Bruce is basically the only thing keeping him upright. “M’ head hurts. Tired.”

“You have a concussion,” Bruce says, and even though it’s not a question Dick hums in agreement.

Dick closes his eyes and presses closer against Bruce. “I wanna go home.”

Bruce rubs his hand up and down Dick’s left arm. “Soon. They want to keep you here for a few more hours to make sure the spell doesn’t restart itself.”

The spell brings back all of the details. Fuzzy details sure, but details all the same. His body being forced to move, his body not being able to move, resting his head on Wally’s shoulder, Artemis telling him he was bleeding, Wally, Wally, Wally. “Wally okay?” he asks, opening his eyes again.

“Fine. His ankle will need a few days to fully heal, but it’s wrapped and the swelling is already going down. His jaw is a little sore from being clenched for an hour, but he’ll be okay. Neither of you should suffer any long-term effects,” Bruce explains, noticeably leaving out details.

“Good.” He doesn’t understand the jaw soreness thing, but he thinks he’s too tired to retain anything, so he doesn’t ask for an explanation just yet. After a nap maybe.

It’s weird, he knows he didn’t cast the spell, but he still feels responsible for what it caused. Even if Wally is okay, he could be better if Dick hadn’t said anything. Add that with the poor way they handled the situation, and it isn’t a stretch to think the speedster might be a little ticked off. “Did he seem mad?”

“I didn’t speak with him. From briefly observing him, however, he seemed worried about you if anything,” Bruce tells him. Then, “Robin, you are not at fault for today’s events. You were not aware that you had been hexed, nor what that entailed. And neither of you intentionally used the knowledge of the spell to harm each other, correct?”

“Yeah.”

“So neither of you are responsible.”

“Right,” Dick agrees, but the guilt doesn’t really go away.

Bruce grunts, as if that settles it.

Dick doesn’t say anything else. He wants to go home and not think about anything.

“Are you asleep?” Bruce asks after a few minutes of silence.

Dick cracks one eye half-way open (when did they close?) to look at Bruce. Dick realizes he is actually half-asleep, but sadly, not asleep yet. “Yes.”

“Hn. We need to check on the spell, then you can rest some more. Promise.”

“Sure thing, Boss,” Dick says, rubbing his eye as he pushes himself away from Bruce to sit up on his own.

Bruce pulls his cowl back on and hands Dick some shades. When they’re secured on his face, Bruce says, “Enter.”

Flash, Zatara, and Wally walk in, and Dick wonders how long they were standing in the hall waiting for Batman’s okay.

“Dude, thank god you’re okay,” Wally says the second his eyes land on Dick. His eyes shift to the bandage wrapped tightly around Dick’s head. “You are, aren’t you?”

“Dandy. You?”

Wally gives a soft laugh. “Never better.” Wally turns to Zatara. “So, how are we doing this?”

“Try giving each other commands and see if you can ignore them,” Zatara explains. “Kid Flash, you can start.”

“Wait, hold on. How do we know we won’t just be following your orders to not follow each other’s orders?” Dick asks.

“We already tested to make sure that couldn’t happen when you first arrived at the Cave,” Zatara explains quickly. “I can guarantee that the spell is limited to the two of you.”

“Gotcha,” Dick says, making a note to ask questions about his arrival later because right now he’s getting nothing.

“If there’s nothing else?” Zatara says, and when no one says anything, he signals for Wally to start.

They take turns giving each other commands, and both of them are able to suppress them. Dick still feels a pull to obey, but he’s in control. When they’ve finished, Bruce tells him that he needs to speak with Kaldur about the mission details (none of which Dick can seem to remember) and makes his leave. Zatara and Flash file out, but Wally stays behind. He’s fidgeting a little. Nervous.

“So, uh, you still mad at me?” Wally asks.

Dick wants to sigh. Wally is referring to their argument (if you can call Dick’s silent treatment and huffiness towards Wally an argument) before the mission even started, and Dick really, really doesn’t want to deal with it right now. He slides down on the bed. “Do we have to talk about that now?”

“I’ll take that as a yes then,” Wally says, running a hand through his hair. “Look, I’m sorry, okay?”

“You’re just saying that so I’ll stop being mad at you.”

“But isn’t that kind of the point of apologies?”

“You don’t even know why I’m upset,” Dick says, turning his head to glare at him.

“Don’t be like that,” Wally almost whines. “And for the record, I do know why you’re upset, I just don’t think it makes sense.”

“And that’s part of the problem!”

Wally let’s out a breath and sinks into the chair. “Look, I like you okay? I do.”

“So you’ve claimed.” They’ve never really sat down and said it, but they’ve both made their interest in the other pretty clear. It just hasn’t gone anywhere (official) yet. The topic merely hangs in the air and circles them as they go on with their lives. And Dick’s fine with that. He can be patient and let the relationship develop naturally, he could even enjoy watching as it does. He just wished Wally could stop flirting with anything that has a pulse in the meantime.

“Come on, you know I’m just—”

“Trying to protect a representation of lies?” Dick crosses his arms. “You know, it’s really confusing for you to say you like me when we’re alone, and then see you flirting with M’gann or whoever first chance you get. Not to mention hurtful. And I know we’re technically not dating or anything, but still.”

Wally sits there for a second, quiet. Thinking over what Dick has said. “I’m sorry I hurt you, I didn’t mean for it to be taken that way. I thought you knew I—”

“Look, Wally, if you want to keep us on the down-low for a bit, fine. I can wait. But you don’t have to flirt with other people,” Dick reasons.

Wally swallows. “You’re right.” They’re both quiet; Wally stuck in his head thinking, Dick confused because he’s still hurting but he’s also wanting to forgive Wally. Then Wally says, completely serious and without a teasing undertone, “So, you want an us?”

Dick smiles a little. “Dude, I’ve wanted an us way before you kissed me in the closet on your birthday.”

“Oh, you had a crush on the Wall-man, eh?”

“Shut up.” Dick rolls his eyes.

Wally doesn’t shut up. “Is that why you always got annoyed when I would try to hang out with M’gann alone? Is that why you ruined our camping trip?” he teases.

“Like you didn’t know.” Dick rolls his eyes again. “Besides, I have a suspicion you were only flirting with her to make me jealous.”

“Oh, is that so? Isn’t it possible that I can have more than one crush at a time? I am young you know. And handsome. I think it would be a crime to the human race if I didn’t have a little fun.”

“You’re such a dork.”

“But I could be your dork.”

Dick wants that. So badly.

“Really, say the word,” Wally grabs his hand. “I don’t want to mess around with a bunch of people; I want you. And if you want me to stop flirting with people I have no interest in anymore, I will.”

“Really?”

“Course. I mean, flirting, even meaningless flirting, can be fun,” Wally admits, “but being with you is more fun. And it’s not even a trade-off, more like an upgrade if you ask me.”

Dick doesn’t even hesitate. “Okay, let’s do it then. Us.”

“Us,” Wally agrees. Then he climbs up on the bed next to Dick. “Um, but, I would like to keep this on the down-low. Just for a little bit.”

“Whatever you need,” Dick says, leaning into Wally. They lapse into silence, but it’s not tense or awkward. Just comfortable, beautiful silence.

Dick thinks he’s drifting off again, body feeling numb and warm. But then he’s pulled back when Wally murmurs, “You really scared me, you know? I thought I—thought I—”

“Hey,” Dick says, voice tired as he forces his eyes open once more. “You didn’t do anything. And I’m fine. We’re both fine.”

“But you almost weren’t,” Wally chokes. And, god, Wally’s really upset.

Dick pushes himself up and tilts his head towards Wally, covering the white-knuckled fist with his own IV-ridden hand. “It’s a concussion. I’ll be fine.”

Wally shakes his head. “The spell was progressive. I told you to be still, and you were in a coma by the time we got back here.”

Wally’s sore jaw.

“A coma?” He’s going to kill Bruce; that definitely falls into the “information you tell Dick immediately” pile. At least that explains why he was out so long. His body was moving slower, maybe that made the reversal spell take longer to do its magic.

“Yeah,” Wally’s shaky voice lets out. “I thought I was going to kill you.”

“Don’t say that. Even if something had happened, it wouldn’t’ve been your fault. It was The Pranksters. And the fact that we’re blaming ourselves is just another part of their prank.”

“Right, I know. I mean, logically, duh,” Wally word vomits.

Dick squeezes the hand below his. “How’s your jaw? I guess that was my doing, huh?” He can picture Wally’s mouth slowly shutting more and more, he can picture the panic on Wally’s face growing.

Wally nods, smirking a little. “Yeah, but it’s fine. A little sore. Barry got me some ice, though, and it’s pretty much back to normal now.”

“Good. It would kind of suck to have your broken jaw on my conscience.”

“After what you put me through? You kind of deserve it,” Wally decides.

“I’ll make it up to you later,” Dick promises. And he does mean later. Right now, he’s too tired. He relaxes back against Wally. “Tired.”

“I should probably go. Let you get some sleep,” Wally says, pushing himself upright and up from under Dick’s form.

“Hmm.” Dick is already back in a horizontal position, eyes closing slowly. “Miss you.”

Wally gives this small puff of air, almost like a content laugh. “You too. Hey.”

Dick opens his eyes. “Huh?”

“I’m glad you’re not mad at me anymore.”

“Me too. I don’t like fighting.”

“Me neither. Promise to never fight again and have a perfect Instagram relationship?”

Dick laughs a little and Wally joins in. “Definitely,” he gets out.

Wally bends down and twirls some hair out of Dick’s face. “Night. Dream of me.”

“You wish,” Dick retorts, closing his eyes again. It’s at this point he realizes how hard he’s been fighting to stay awake. He can’t hear what else Wally says, if anything, but he does hear the door click shut. It’s dark now, too. He’s warm and happy as he falls asleep. And maybe Wally gets his wish.

[dinafbrownil]

How Intrepid Lab Sleuths Ramped Up Tests As Coronavirus Closed In

SEATTLE — While officials in Washington, D.C., grappled with delays and red tape, two professional virus hunters raced to make thousands of tests available to detect the deadly new coronavirus sweeping the globe, hoping to stem its spread in the U.S.

Dr. Keith Jerome, 56, and Dr. Alex Greninger, 38, of the esteemed University of Washington School of Medicine, have overseen the rollout of more than 4,000 tests, painstaking work that has confirmed the infection in hundreds of patients across the nation.

Their 10,000-square-foot virology lab in Seattle’s picturesque South Lake Union neighborhood was whirring with activity on a recent weekday as medical scientists and clinical lab technicians processed samples from patients in the Northwest and beyond. But the virus also has hit close to home.

On the same day the team churned out more than 1,300 tests for suspected patients, Greninger’s 76-year-old mother was waiting for results from her own coronavirus test. She had been living at Ida Culver House Ravenna, a Seattle-area retirement home where a man in his 80s had died two days earlier.

“She’s been on my couch for the past 10 days,” Greninger said. “She got swabbed this morning.”

Meanwhile, even before area schools shut down, Jerome said his teenage daughter decided to study at home for the time being, rather than attend class at her high school, because of the coronavirus risk.

“We had a talk last night and mutually decided that she’s not going to school anymore — for now,” he said.

Don't Miss A Story

Subscribe to KHN’s free Weekly Edition newsletter.

Sign Up

Please confirm your email address below:

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Jerome, Greninger and their UW Medicine laboratory colleagues were ahead of much of the nation in developing an accurate test for the new coronavirus, and it may be due to that foresight that Washington state has been out front in detecting its spread. The state announced the first confirmed U.S. case of the virus in January, and since has identified more than 640 infected patients, the most in the country. The state also has seen the most deaths attributed to the virus: at least 40 as of Sunday.

On Thursday, Vice President Mike Pence acknowledged that effort, telling the Today show’s Savannah Guthrie, “The University of Washington is doing extraordinary work” regarding testing.

Across the nation, the virus has sickened more than 3,200 people and killed more than 60.

Jerome and Greninger began developing a test for the never-before-seen virus after keying into early reports in December that a mysterious type of pneumonia had emerged in China. Within days, it became clear that more people were getting sick.

Greninger (pictured), Jerome and their UW Medicine laboratory colleagues were ahead of much of the nation in developing an accurate test for the new coronavirus.(Dan DeLong for KHN)

Spikes glow in a batch of real-time polymerase chain reaction (PCR) tests. The spikes indicate patient samples that are positive for the virus that causes the COVID-19 illness. (Dan DeLong for KHN)

“That’s when we talked about it. We very easily came to a consensus that we should get going,” recalled Jerome, a renowned virologist. “I told Alex, ‘We’re probably going to be wasting some money on this. It’s probably not going to come over here. But you’ve got to be ready.’”

That meant ramping up a test using what’s known as PCR — polymerase chain reaction. It’s a process that searches for tiny bits of the genetic code of the virus in samples taken from the nose and throat. Seattle laboratory scientists have used the technique for years, doing groundbreaking work on HIV, herpes simplex and other viruses.

“This is part of our DNA here. It’s part of our identity,” said Greninger, dressed in a blue hoodie and orange-and-purple running shoes. “For people dedicated to virology, when a new virus comes out, this is what we do.”

After Chinese scientists published the genetic sequence of the virus later in January, Jerome and Greninger went to work. As coronavirus continued spreading in China and beyond, with devastating impact, their sense of urgency grew.

“We knew from China, we knew from South Korea, that when this virus comes into your community, you could be running hundreds of tests a day,” Jerome said. “No one lab has the capacity to do what was needed in Wuhan.”

Jerome anticipates the UW Medicine Virology laboratory soon will be able to perform between 2,000 and 2,500 tests a day, building to as many as 5,000.(Dan DeLong for KHN)

At first, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta was the only facility in the U.S. authorized to conduct tests for the virus. As demand surged, this vital pipeline for detection and intervention became backlogged and bottlenecked. The issue was complicated by flaws with test kits the CDC distributed to state and local public health labs, rendering them largely unusable.

Greninger pressed hard for the federal Food and Drug Administration to relax a requirement that prevented the lab from testing sick patients. As the public health emergency mushroomed, he and Jerome took advantage of a regulatory loophole that allowed them to test samples obtained for research purposes from UW’s hospitals.

On Feb. 28, a test came back positive. The scientists sent their findings to state officials, and that evening, in a rare after-hours news conference, local health officials confirmed that COVID-19 was spreading in the wider community.

On Feb. 29, a Saturday, the FDA granted a waiver to allow private and academic labs to start testing for the novel coronavirus. Within two days, the UW virology lab was in full swing, churning out test results round-the-clock.

“I slept three or four hours those first nights,” Jerome said.

A medical laboratory scientist at the UW Medicine Virology laboratory in Seattle reviews samples of purified genetic material to detect COVID-19 cases on March 11, 2020.(Dan DeLong for KHN)

New equipment is arriving at the lab daily and staff members are deployed in three shifts to handle the load. Jerome anticipates the lab soon will be able to perform between 2,000 and 2,500 tests a day, building to as many as 5,000. They’re working with area officials to boost efforts such as drive-through testing sites.

A portion of tests being processed now come from outside Washington state, said Jerome, who has made tests available to medical practitioners anywhere in the country.

“I wish that more people were getting testing. We need to understand who’s infected, get them the medical care that they might need and also get them away from other people who haven’t been infected,” he said.

On a recent day, about 9% of tests were coming back positive.

“It’s not good,” Greninger said.

“It shows the virus is out there,” Jerome added. “And there’s more than most people realize.”

from Updates By Dina https://khn.org/news/how-intrepid-seattle-scientists-ramped-up-tests-as-coronavirus-closed-in/

[gordonwilliamsweb]

How Intrepid Lab Sleuths Ramped Up Tests As Coronavirus Closed In

SEATTLE — While officials in Washington, D.C., grappled with delays and red tape, two professional virus hunters raced to make thousands of tests available to detect the deadly new coronavirus sweeping the globe, hoping to stem its spread in the U.S.

Dr. Keith Jerome, 56, and Dr. Alex Greninger, 38, of the esteemed University of Washington School of Medicine, have overseen the rollout of more than 4,000 tests, painstaking work that has confirmed the infection in hundreds of patients across the nation.

Their 10,000-square-foot virology lab in Seattle’s picturesque South Lake Union neighborhood was whirring with activity on a recent weekday as medical scientists and clinical lab technicians processed samples from patients in the Northwest and beyond. But the virus also has hit close to home.

On the same day the team churned out more than 1,300 tests for suspected patients, Greninger’s 76-year-old mother was waiting for results from her own coronavirus test. She had been living at Ida Culver House Ravenna, a Seattle-area retirement home where a man in his 80s had died two days earlier.

“She’s been on my couch for the past 10 days,” Greninger said. “She got swabbed this morning.”

Meanwhile, even before area schools shut down, Jerome said his teenage daughter decided to study at home for the time being, rather than attend class at her high school, because of the coronavirus risk.

“We had a talk last night and mutually decided that she’s not going to school anymore — for now,” he said.

Don't Miss A Story

Subscribe to KHN’s free Weekly Edition newsletter.

Sign Up

Please confirm your email address below:

Sign Up

Jerome, Greninger and their UW Medicine laboratory colleagues were ahead of much of the nation in developing an accurate test for the new coronavirus, and it may be due to that foresight that Washington state has been out front in detecting its spread. The state announced the first confirmed U.S. case of the virus in January, and since has identified more than 640 infected patients, the most in the country. The state also has seen the most deaths attributed to the virus: at least 40 as of Sunday.

On Thursday, Vice President Mike Pence acknowledged that effort, telling the Today show’s Savannah Guthrie, “The University of Washington is doing extraordinary work” regarding testing.

Across the nation, the virus has sickened more than 3,200 people and killed more than 60.

Jerome and Greninger began developing a test for the never-before-seen virus after keying into early reports in December that a mysterious type of pneumonia had emerged in China. Within days, it became clear that more people were getting sick.

Greninger (pictured), Jerome and their UW Medicine laboratory colleagues were ahead of much of the nation in developing an accurate test for the new coronavirus.(Dan DeLong for KHN)

Spikes glow in a batch of real-time polymerase chain reaction (PCR) tests. The spikes indicate patient samples that are positive for the virus that causes the COVID-19 illness. (Dan DeLong for KHN)

“That’s when we talked about it. We very easily came to a consensus that we should get going,” recalled Jerome, a renowned virologist. “I told Alex, ‘We’re probably going to be wasting some money on this. It’s probably not going to come over here. But you’ve got to be ready.’”

That meant ramping up a test using what’s known as PCR — polymerase chain reaction. It’s a process that searches for tiny bits of the genetic code of the virus in samples taken from the nose and throat. Seattle laboratory scientists have used the technique for years, doing groundbreaking work on HIV, herpes simplex and other viruses.

“This is part of our DNA here. It’s part of our identity,” said Greninger, dressed in a blue hoodie and orange-and-purple running shoes. “For people dedicated to virology, when a new virus comes out, this is what we do.”

After Chinese scientists published the genetic sequence of the virus later in January, Jerome and Greninger went to work. As coronavirus continued spreading in China and beyond, with devastating impact, their sense of urgency grew.

“We knew from China, we knew from South Korea, that when this virus comes into your community, you could be running hundreds of tests a day,” Jerome said. “No one lab has the capacity to do what was needed in Wuhan.”

Jerome anticipates the UW Medicine Virology laboratory soon will be able to perform between 2,000 and 2,500 tests a day, building to as many as 5,000.(Dan DeLong for KHN)

At first, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta was the only facility in the U.S. authorized to conduct tests for the virus. As demand surged, this vital pipeline for detection and intervention became backlogged and bottlenecked. The issue was complicated by flaws with test kits the CDC distributed to state and local public health labs, rendering them largely unusable.

Greninger pressed hard for the federal Food and Drug Administration to relax a requirement that prevented the lab from testing sick patients. As the public health emergency mushroomed, he and Jerome took advantage of a regulatory loophole that allowed them to test samples obtained for research purposes from UW’s hospitals.

On Feb. 28, a test came back positive. The scientists sent their findings to state officials, and that evening, in a rare after-hours news conference, local health officials confirmed that COVID-19 was spreading in the wider community.

On Feb. 29, a Saturday, the FDA granted a waiver to allow private and academic labs to start testing for the novel coronavirus. Within two days, the UW virology lab was in full swing, churning out test results round-the-clock.

“I slept three or four hours those first nights,” Jerome said.

A medical laboratory scientist at the UW Medicine Virology laboratory in Seattle reviews samples of purified genetic material to detect COVID-19 cases on March 11, 2020.(Dan DeLong for KHN)

New equipment is arriving at the lab daily and staff members are deployed in three shifts to handle the load. Jerome anticipates the lab soon will be able to perform between 2,000 and 2,500 tests a day, building to as many as 5,000. They’re working with area officials to boost efforts such as drive-through testing sites.

A portion of tests being processed now come from outside Washington state, said Jerome, who has made tests available to medical practitioners anywhere in the country.

“I wish that more people were getting testing. We need to understand who’s infected, get them the medical care that they might need and also get them away from other people who haven’t been infected,” he said.

On a recent day, about 9% of tests were coming back positive.

“It’s not good,” Greninger said.

“It shows the virus is out there,” Jerome added. “And there’s more than most people realize.”

How Intrepid Lab Sleuths Ramped Up Tests As Coronavirus Closed In published first on https://nootropicspowdersupplier.tumblr.com/

[stephenmccull]

How Intrepid Lab Sleuths Ramped Up Tests As Coronavirus Closed In

SEATTLE — While officials in Washington, D.C., grappled with delays and red tape, two professional virus hunters raced to make thousands of tests available to detect the deadly new coronavirus sweeping the globe, hoping to stem its spread in the U.S.

Dr. Keith Jerome, 56, and Dr. Alex Greninger, 38, of the esteemed University of Washington School of Medicine, have overseen the rollout of more than 4,000 tests, painstaking work that has confirmed the infection in hundreds of patients across the nation.

Their 10,000-square-foot virology lab in Seattle’s picturesque South Lake Union neighborhood was whirring with activity on a recent weekday as medical scientists and clinical lab technicians processed samples from patients in the Northwest and beyond. But the virus also has hit close to home.

On the same day the team churned out more than 1,300 tests for suspected patients, Greninger’s 76-year-old mother was waiting for results from her own coronavirus test. She had been living at Ida Culver House Ravenna, a Seattle-area retirement home where a man in his 80s had died two days earlier.

“She’s been on my couch for the past 10 days,” Greninger said. “She got swabbed this morning.”

Meanwhile, even before area schools shut down, Jerome said his teenage daughter decided to study at home for the time being, rather than attend class at her high school, because of the coronavirus risk.

“We had a talk last night and mutually decided that she’s not going to school anymore — for now,” he said.

Don't Miss A Story

Subscribe to KHN’s free Weekly Edition newsletter.

Sign Up

Please confirm your email address below:

Sign Up

Jerome, Greninger and their UW Medicine laboratory colleagues were ahead of much of the nation in developing an accurate test for the new coronavirus, and it may be due to that foresight that Washington state has been out front in detecting its spread. The state announced the first confirmed U.S. case of the virus in January, and since has identified more than 640 infected patients, the most in the country. The state also has seen the most deaths attributed to the virus: at least 40 as of Sunday.

On Thursday, Vice President Mike Pence acknowledged that effort, telling the Today show’s Savannah Guthrie, “The University of Washington is doing extraordinary work” regarding testing.

Across the nation, the virus has sickened more than 3,200 people and killed more than 60.

Jerome and Greninger began developing a test for the never-before-seen virus after keying into early reports in December that a mysterious type of pneumonia had emerged in China. Within days, it became clear that more people were getting sick.

Greninger (pictured), Jerome and their UW Medicine laboratory colleagues were ahead of much of the nation in developing an accurate test for the new coronavirus.(Dan DeLong for KHN)

Spikes glow in a batch of real-time polymerase chain reaction (PCR) tests. The spikes indicate patient samples that are positive for the virus that causes the COVID-19 illness. (Dan DeLong for KHN)

“That’s when we talked about it. We very easily came to a consensus that we should get going,” recalled Jerome, a renowned virologist. “I told Alex, ‘We’re probably going to be wasting some money on this. It’s probably not going to come over here. But you’ve got to be ready.’”

That meant ramping up a test using what’s known as PCR — polymerase chain reaction. It’s a process that searches for tiny bits of the genetic code of the virus in samples taken from the nose and throat. Seattle laboratory scientists have used the technique for years, doing groundbreaking work on HIV, herpes simplex and other viruses.

“This is part of our DNA here. It’s part of our identity,” said Greninger, dressed in a blue hoodie and orange-and-purple running shoes. “For people dedicated to virology, when a new virus comes out, this is what we do.”

After Chinese scientists published the genetic sequence of the virus later in January, Jerome and Greninger went to work. As coronavirus continued spreading in China and beyond, with devastating impact, their sense of urgency grew.

“We knew from China, we knew from South Korea, that when this virus comes into your community, you could be running hundreds of tests a day,” Jerome said. “No one lab has the capacity to do what was needed in Wuhan.”

Jerome anticipates the UW Medicine Virology laboratory soon will be able to perform between 2,000 and 2,500 tests a day, building to as many as 5,000.(Dan DeLong for KHN)

At first, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta was the only facility in the U.S. authorized to conduct tests for the virus. As demand surged, this vital pipeline for detection and intervention became backlogged and bottlenecked. The issue was complicated by flaws with test kits the CDC distributed to state and local public health labs, rendering them largely unusable.

Greninger pressed hard for the federal Food and Drug Administration to relax a requirement that prevented the lab from testing sick patients. As the public health emergency mushroomed, he and Jerome took advantage of a regulatory loophole that allowed them to test samples obtained for research purposes from UW’s hospitals.

On Feb. 28, a test came back positive. The scientists sent their findings to state officials, and that evening, in a rare after-hours news conference, local health officials confirmed that COVID-19 was spreading in the wider community.

On Feb. 29, a Saturday, the FDA granted a waiver to allow private and academic labs to start testing for the novel coronavirus. Within two days, the UW virology lab was in full swing, churning out test results round-the-clock.

“I slept three or four hours those first nights,” Jerome said.

A medical laboratory scientist at the UW Medicine Virology laboratory in Seattle reviews samples of purified genetic material to detect COVID-19 cases on March 11, 2020.(Dan DeLong for KHN)

New equipment is arriving at the lab daily and staff members are deployed in three shifts to handle the load. Jerome anticipates the lab soon will be able to perform between 2,000 and 2,500 tests a day, building to as many as 5,000. They’re working with area officials to boost efforts such as drive-through testing sites.

A portion of tests being processed now come from outside Washington state, said Jerome, who has made tests available to medical practitioners anywhere in the country.

“I wish that more people were getting testing. We need to understand who’s infected, get them the medical care that they might need and also get them away from other people who haven’t been infected,” he said.

On a recent day, about 9% of tests were coming back positive.

“It’s not good,” Greninger said.

“It shows the virus is out there,” Jerome added. “And there’s more than most people realize.”

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