#also how long have u been on tumblr my love 😌

[ditttiii]

Uh.... Hi? 👉🏽👈🏽 It's me... your brazilian wifey ❤️

my STUNNING incredibly funny gorgeous one of a kind love u say that as tho i dont know exactly who u r and did not squeal outloud seeing this ask

[girlboypersonthingy]

hiiiiii!! so u’ve quickly become my fav tumblr user lol. anything with pidge would be great!! any prompts u wanna use is all good with me, i just want more pidge content.

thx sm!! <3

U BETTER STOP RIGHT NOW ANON. I’m so flattered that I’m one of your favs 🥰 that boosts my confidence in my writing soooo much you have no idea. I’m definitely not skipping over a bunch of requests just to write yours first nope not I. So I wrote smthng about Keith and reader being stuck on a planet during a mission and needing rescue and them having a cute bonding moment. I’m gonna do that but with ✨Pidge✨ 🌷Thank you for the request and ENJOY~

Ps: wow. This took me forever to finish. I wrote it in so many pieces over so many days. I’ve been so busy omg this is all over the place…sorry 😌

Listen…Pidge’s calculations may have been the tiniest bit off. You were sent on a mission with them to pick up a specific mineral on a specific planet that will power a new invention Pidge is working on. As their lion approached the surface of the planet, some weird energy source nearby had all of Pidge’s signals glitching out. All of a sudden, the green lion completely shut down and you two had a bit of a crash landing. Now…You’re lost. In space. No way to get back, no way to contact the team. And if Pidge can’t figure out how to get y’all back to the castle, you definitely can’t. Obvi they’re like 1000 times smarter than you.

“Dang…well…we’re stuck here now.” Their words make you panic a bit. Stuck? Geez, for how long? Until when? Wait…Stuck?! In the middle of space all alone???

“Someone will find us eventually.” “You’re not helping, Pidge…”

They’re trying to hide their smile as they silently laugh at you. “First time stuck in space?” “Uhm YEAH?! IM SCARED! YOU’RE NOT???” “Nah.”

Pidge has been there, done that with being lost in space alone. It’s scary but it’s amazing at the same time. Like when Pidge got stuck on that trash nebula, they weren’t scared, just bored until they found a way to distract themselves and eventually get a signal to the team. They just need time to figure it out.

Before you can say any more, they are closing their helmet over their face and offering you a hand. “Let’s go.” They close your helmet over your face and now they’re enthusiastically dragging you out of green and onto the dusty surface of the planet.

Pidge is very smart but also has some ADHD tendencies. This lil babe will squirrel out and go buck wild when it comes to science, technology and space. They can’t stay focused on the topic at hand, there’s too much to look at, too much to think about, too much to talk about.

They are still holding your hand, pulling you along as they ramble on about the pH balance of the air on this planet and the gravity difference compared to Earth and how cool the specific mineral is that they are looking for. Wow, cute little smarty pants just won’t shut up 💚

Plz just pay attention to them. They LOVE the attention they get from you when they say big words and explain complex things you don’t really understand because,

The face you make when you try to follow along with their science rants KILLS THEM. You’re like 😯 trying your best to keep up, it’s too cute.

They love when you say things like “wow” “whoa” “cool” bc then they’re like 😎 “yeah I am pretty wow, whoa and cool, aren’t I?”

Like plz just swoon over their brilliance, that’s all they want. They want to impress you SO BAD. Little do they know they’ve already captured your heart…

So anyways, they are practically running now with you following beside them as they frantically search for the mineral they need.

A beeping catches their attention and they stop abruptly. An excited laugh leaves their mouth as they check a piece of tech on their wrist, similar to a watch but with info about the planet and atmosphere around you.

Pidge is always busting out new gadgets they’ve made and it still surprises you sometimes. “Pidge, what the hell is that?” is a very common phrase that frequently leaves your mouth. They’re always testing out new tech.

“AHAHA!!! (Y/N), guess what?! This whole planet’s crust is the mineral!!! WE CAN GET SO MUCH OF IT!!! Obviously not too much, but OH MY GOD!”

Omfg, now it’s your turn to admire how cute they are when they geek out like this. They’re pretty much jumping with joy, smiling from ear to ear, and they still have a hold of your hand.

They always run to the same two people every time they have some cool sciency shit to tell and that’s Hunk and you. As much fun as it is to go on a tangent with Hunk about cool space stuff, they love talking to you about it bc you don’t interject, you just listen and learn.

Their fav part is days later when you mention something they told you about in great detail and they’re just thinking ‘oh my god, you remembered, you learned, you’re so smart. DAMN I ADORE YOU.’

At this point, Pidge is having such a good time with you, they’ve forgotten that you’re both stranded here. They’re holding your hands and you’re smiling so big now and suddenly they can’t come up with words to say rn.

“So���are you gonna tell me how we are gonna harvest some of this stuff or…?” The silence is so loud but Pidge can’t speak, they’re just lost in your eyes and your hand fits so perfectly in theirs and the longer they stare at you, the more red your cheeks become and- “Pidge…are you okay?” Finally, they snap out of it.

This honestly happens way too often with you. Pidge never thought they’d be the type to zone out and start daydreaming about someone but they are just soooo into you, oml. They’re always so focused and in control and calm and collected but you’re just too hot cute, you are such a distraction. They can’t believe that you are so interested in them, it clouds their brain sometimes. They know a lot but one thing they can’t figure out is where they stand with you.

“I’m fine. First things first, we need some help getting off this planet. We need to figure out how to contact the team.”

Just keep in mind… they haven’t let go of you for even a second since you walked out of their lion together 🥹❤️‍🔥

“Hey, what about your watch thingy on your wrist? Couldn’t that help-“ “(Y/N), yes! I forgot about this for a tick! Okay, come on. Give me something to work with….” Finally, they let go of your hand as they poke at the piece of tech on their wrist, their eyes become brighter and wider.

They swiftly pull out their bayard and launch it towards their lion, perfectly wrapping it around their lion’s tail.

“Uhm what are we doing?” “We need to get off this planet.” “WHAT?! I mean I know that, you already said that but-but…how are we gonna do that? Your lion is-“ “Just trust me.” They reach out for your hand once more, the handle of their bayard in their other hand.

They grip your hand tightly and before you can take another breath, they activate their jet pack and you two are whisked away towards the sky.

You’re screaming and Pidge is laughing. They’re such a punk sometimes.

As their bayard reaches its limit in length, Pidge is still grasping your hand tightly as they finally begin to explain just what their plan is.

“The crust of this planet, which is also the mineral we need, is what’s causing interference with all our tech. Except for this, I guess.” They gesture to their wrist. “The further we get away from the surface, the more chance we have at getting a signal to the team. But, the gravitational pull of this planet only goes on for 4.7 miles, which is like waaayyyyy less than Earth’s gravitational pull so I had to keep us tethered or we’d just float off into space.”

Normally you’d find their ranting interesting and endearing but rn you’re just terrified of being this high up from the ground and also terrified of accidentally floating off into space.

They can tell you’re scared so they quickly let go of your hand and link their arm with yours, pulling you in closer. They’re not laughing anymore, they give you a more serious look with a soft smile. “I got you, (Y/N). I won’t let anything happen to you. Promise.”

Although they are the smallest Paladin to ever exist, you make them feel so big and strong. You make them feel like they could fight 100 galra soldiers all on their own. You give them so much confidence and they just want you to trust that they will always protect you. Tho they be small, they are mighty.

“I trust you, Pidge.” Great…you’ve lost them again. All you did was say their name all soft and quiet and they can’t look away from you now.

The lingering eye contact is simple but causes you both to smile and blush uncontrollably. You both look away then look back at each other, your movements in sync which causes you both to laugh.

“You’re really cute. I like you a lot.” The words just sort of slip out of their mouth and before you can even process what they just said, as if on cue, static cuts the silence.

Suddenly, you can hear Allura calling out for you guys through the comms in Pidge’s helmet. “Pidge? (Y/N)? Hello?” “Allura! Geez, are we glad to hear your voice.”

As Pidge gives the princess a run down of what had happened to you guys, you just watch their lips move and watch as they purposefully avoid your gaze. They’re embarrassed of what they just confessed to you and now they’re anxious to hear your reply.

Once the voice in Pidge’s helmet had gone quiet, you finally speak up.

“You like me?” “Huh? Did I say that?” “Yeah, you did. You said I’m cute too.” “Oh wow…uh yeah…I guess I did say that.”

It’s silent again for a moment.

“Do you like me too?” Pidge asks softly now, their whole demeanor has changed. They’re not holding you as close, they’re eyes look full of concern, they’re biting their lip.

“I thought you were a genius..?” They’re a bit taken aback by your response. “It’s not like I haven’t been dropping hints left and right. Of course I like you, Pidge. And I think you’re pretty cute too.”

The next 10 minutes as you two wait for rescue are spent talking and laughing about how you two dummies have been crushing on each other for MONTHS but you were both too scared to say anything to the other.

As soon as y’all are rescued by Shiro and Hunk, they’re both like “oh! You guys finally noticed that you’re both in love with each other? Good. Nice. Took y’all long enough.”

The whole team could see the hardcore pining the whole time. Even Keith was like “I thought y’all were already dating???”

Wow. What a couple cute little dorks you guys are.

[blkkizzat]

Kali...I've been overthinking again.. I know I know I do think a lot.. but I'm just thinking about my type and a lot of the jjk man are a different facet of my type. Nanami cause I think he'd treat me right. Remember my birthday and shit. Geto because I think he'd never embarrass my ass and would fuck me with all that pent up passion. Gojo cause his silly ass would make me giggle then bend me 6 ways to sunday. We having all the workouts during sex. And finally my love Sukuna...this man wouldn't disrespect me in public cause how does he look if he doesn't respect his woman. He'd never let anyone else think they could disrespect me but like in the bedroom he'd do nothing BUT disrespect me. Like respect? Idk her who's she? And I would let him because...have you seen that man. A threesome with Nanami and Sukuna would be my dream cone truuueee

Sorry pookies! I’m realizing a bunch of stuff was stuck in my posts. Tbh I hate using tumblr on my phone cause it’s always fuckin up lol.

Also yass most definitely! 😌↕️

They all serve their purpose

Nanami would definitely remember your bday, your favorite everything and have a hot meal on the table for you every night. I headcanon that this man is like a Michelin level chef.

Suguru, u rite, would never make a scene although I do think he would like to fluster you. Not as obvious and over the top as Gojo but subtle things only you two would pick up on but it would still leave you blushing.

Gojo for sure, got the jokes and yeah he’s dumb long dick is definitely rearranging guts. Haha but I only like a nerd ass version of him as him being too much a fuck boi is a no go for me cause then I have to humble him 😭.

You make a good point. I also think he wouldn’t disrespect you in public cause it be a bad reflection on him. Also he definitely treating you like a concubine when you get home 😩. Honestly he’s the one I��d imagine give you the best workout.

But nothing for my main men Toji and Choso, nonny??? What is this??? 😭😭😭

It’s okay cause they at home with me 😩💖.

[mrs-monaghan]

Hello, just wanted to say I love your blog and your opinions are really valuable to me! Now, asked this to another blog which opinions also I value about Jikook, because, like you, they work with the truth, and not delusions. Saying this just in case you see the same ask on another blog, it's only because I really like both of your opinions.

That being said, what do you think about the time when pictures of Jungkook hugging and going out with his female tattooist god leaked? Now, don't get me wrong, I know that time was very hard for Jungkook because of the unjustified hate he got for it, and I know just because a boy and a girl hug/interact doesn't equal to them dating (esp. with annoying ppl in this fandom where jk can't even BREATHE without ppl creating rumors that he's been dating 50 girls. I mean, did you see the crazy rumor about a rich blonde girl from Qatar? Lmao its CRAZY)

But, I really want to know about your opinion on this. Do you think they were just friends? Someone said that they weren't drinking alone in that restaurant. Or do you think Jikook were broken up at the time and they had a thing?

I think, that you are trying to pass yourself off as a Jikooker and anon,

Do you think they were just friends? Someone said that they were drinking alone in that restaurant. Or do you think Jikook were broken up at the time and they had a thing?

I would much rather talk about what happened after that. Here are some of my favourite moments from Bon Voyage season 4.

JK saying ILY then looking at Jimin immediately after

This one no one ever talks about. But someone said Jimin had arrived and the way JK immediately looks and perks up! Omg!! 😭😭😭

And he doesn't stop staring at Jimin either. He'd really missed his baby. Also the way he perked up reminds me of this popular moment when Jimin calls JK Kookosan and we get the happiest smile from JK that turns us all to mush.

I could have sworn JK was younger than Jimin. So idk why Jimin treats JK like he's the hyung

IYKYK 😌😌

JK saying Jimin's name as J.M and writing the same down.

I don't need to remind y'all his ink was still new so you're the delulu one if you think JK doesn't know what the letters on his hand look like.

We always talk about JK bringing the snow. But we don't talk enough about JK sitting by the snow waiting for Jimin to come out. We don't talk about how eager he was to show Jimin what he got him. How quickly he stood up all excited.

And the smile on his face as he watches Jimin's reaction is everything 🥺🥺🥺

And yes, I do think this may have been to make up for the scandal even though it wasn't JK's fault. Also if u notice JK is very subdued this season and Jimin was looking after him alot. It's why satellite Jimin was on an all time high in BV sn 4. Haters really put JK through the wringer but I'm glad his man was able to be there for him.

Hand holding to take a picture and JK removing his glove so it can be skin on skin. Feels 😩😩

Jimin drooling over how bad ass JK was for jumping upside down. You bet your ass he loves this side of JK.

This right here is a favourite of mine. (I have more but damn u tumblr and your image limit) They're in New Zealand. Beautiful, gorgeous country. They get directed to a place with a beautiful, beautiful, insane view. All other members are watching this view and admiring it. Meanwhile JK's view:

And he stared for a long time. The camera kept panning out and JK was still staring. If you truly believe JK is not in love with Jimin, then idk what to tell ya.

Anon, Jungkook is in love with Jimin, is committed to Jimin and Jimin only. Has only ever had eyes for Jimin, has never strayed and most probably never will. He's in this Jimin shit for life.

Period.

[leelesbo]

that helped a lot thank you so much hkjfghdg i definitely wouldnt have thought to do some of that, literally making a list of it to make sure i remember. due to distance reasons, we're currently long distance (but planning to visit soon, so all the stuff for irl is very very helpful), but since you offered to help more, do you have any other things that would be good for over the phone or via texting? some of what youve said ive picked up already and been doing, but just anything that might not be obvious to think of. or any kinds of pics or videos that would be flustering to see? he gets too shy to request for anything but i dont have any problem sending stuff like that, and ideally i'd wanna take more for him that lean into knismo stuff.

and thanks for saying its sweet hdfgjdkfj i wanna do my best for him and thought asking someone else might be the best place to get ideas. dont apologize at all for how much you wrote, it was all genuinely very helpful and insightful

YES OFC!!! im more than happy to yap >:3

okok so over text teasing Is Different but still essentially the same. and having such an easily flustered partner honestly makes it easier

so, if this is the kinda thing yall are into, i like my tickle teases over text to be almost like a play-by-play of how the other person would tickle me if they were there. this might sound weird, but genuinely something that’s really helpful for this is reading tickle fanfic. dead serious. because these authors go into detail of how characters are tickling each other, the extremely specific spots, how characters might react to spots like that, all the methods of how to do it and it’s written so you can take inspo for texting!! for non-knismos i can easily see how it’d be difficult to fully visualize the specifics of how to tickle someone when you’re trying to write it out, so genuinely a helpful tool is taking inspo from good tickle writers!! i’ve found a lot of good fics on ao3 and tumblr from critical role, magnus archives, bungou stray dogs, mha (a lot of the fics with the ADULT CHARACTERS are really good shut up), and many more, but if u want any specific recs lmk!! (im literally not even in those fandoms i just love the way a lot of the tickle fics in those fandoms are written hdjshf)

so, like i said, a play by play. how you’d get them in the position where they’re about to be tickled (maybe you pinned them, maybe you want them tied up). anticipation is a huuuuge factor. the buildup works knismos up like CRAZY, it makes us feel more sensitive and it literally does make us feel shit even over text. tell him how you’d hover your fingers over specific spots, maybe lightly tease his worst/favorite spots with just a single finger until he’s begging you to get it over with. it’ll get him squirming in no time, trust me.

again, being specific it’s important, at least to me 😭😭 talking about the way in which you’d tickle spots is great. pinching ribs (especially if you’re pinching each specific rib and working ur way up or down), scribbling over sides to make him squirm, one finger in each underarm, digging ur thumbs in the pockets of his hips. just saying “i’ll tickle your hips” isn’t really be enough (again, at least for me!! personal preference 😌☝️) so if you’re able to figure out methods he likes best, it’ll work wonders for you.

also!!! sending stuff!!! if you find out spots he really likes, sending gifs or clips of people being tickled in those spots is a great way to get him blushing!! especially if u tell him that’s how ur gonna get him when yall visit :3 pretty much letting him know you’ve been researching and finding videos/clips/gifs so you’ll know how best to tickle him when ur together is Great

if you’re wanting to send something of You to him, i’ve seen a lot of lers make videos of them . tickling pillows? or just like, hand videos in general (wiggling their fingers n shit lol). i think wiggly finger videos are really cute and pretty flustering but the pillow thing isn’t really my cup of tea, just depends on what ur partner would prefer :) idk ive just seen stuff like that floating around here so if u think he’d like it u could try that out lol

alright!!!! again, hope that helped any, and if u need anything else hmu again bc im happy to help!!!! yapping abt tickling is my specialty

[spacehostilityy]

Okie well I can't shut up ever so I'm going to compile my thoughts here on Tumblr as I rewatch nnt fom the beginning !! Also pls feel free to scream and/or rewatch with me👉👈👀

Kinda long so more thots below the cut

Season 1, episodes 1-6

I forgot how good the writing and animation are in the first season, like they truly thrived under aniplex😔 the brief white blood period in I think season 3 shows us just how good we had it

I love seeing Hawk and Meliodas's relationship, and his star Boar earring😭 plus having the Boar hat as the main location is just so comforting !!

Also I JUST realized his name is hawk because of a ham hok😭😭 this is like when I realized toe mater's name was tomato at the ripe age of 18

I miss the holy knights being powerful. Like I get that the Sins are always more powerful than them, had a long way to go in terms of power ups, and meliodas straight up had most of his power sealed but like DAMN. They were so cool in season 1 !! Gil was such a badass😭 I guess I just wish that the holy knights powered up along with the Sins

Seeing the very first episode got me thinking about the original pilot Manga (chapter 0) and how cool it might have been !! Like I love the story we got, but I do think those versions of Mel and Elizabeth maybe would have been better than the ones we got😳 like I just really like Meli's original design, I feel like he looks a bit older, and chapter 0 Elizabeth is simply superior ngl. She's funny, brave, and assertive - a lot more like Liz and goddess Elizabeth, except funnier

The first half of season 1 has one of my fave intro and outros like damn I forgot how fucking cool they were. Some of my fave songs to !! (my all time fave is def howling from season 3 part 2 (i think lol) tho)

Like look how cool this is !!! It reminds me of this pic from the manga

Speaking of intros, I miss the title cards !! Like look how cute this is !!

Everytime the fiddle (?) Music plays I get SO FUCKING HYPED BRO like damn Ik it's through all the seasonal and I'm so glad it is because it's rlly the perfect hype song - here it is on Spotify

Also Gil is such a badass in early episodes, I love his strength !! This moment is the fucking coolest and you can't convince me otherwise

Overall, I think the attention to detail is just better, the sounds the armor makes, the animation and drawings (esp background characters), Meliodas just sounds a bit older too (and I have theories on his voice here if u want them 👀)

The whole perv thing is really exhausting really quickly. Almost surprised 14 year old me made it through this as the 2nd anime I ever watched and the 1st I watched alone

I feel like Diane got shorter through the seasons. Like she doesn't compare to Hawk Mama like she did in season 1, and I think that's a damn shame. Let my giant girl be giant !!

She's also a decent bit more violent and I enjoy that thoroughly. She's just a silly goofy kween😌

Also her original costume is superior, her boots are just👌

Just realized that Meliodas was like an older brother/mentor to Gil and now they're brothers in law 😭😭

Also young Elizabeth and Gil are so cute😭 I always forget that they grew up together too

I love Hawk, but I feel like kicking him would just be so satisfying 😔

HOLY SHIT I forgot how badass Ban is when weren't first introduced to him !!

The humming while impaled and bleeding out he really is that girl tm

He's such a masochist. A damn if it isn't kinda hot.

Wow they really introduced Diane's body issues and then almost never bring them up again

Also my plus size Diane headcanon is so real like damn. Body issues girlies are being represented by her fr😔

Ban's slutty waist. That's it. That's the thot.

Also his pre series hair. First season reminding me why I love Ban sm

Lowkey miss the dragon handle sword. The broken blade was so cool:( Lostvayne still cool tho

I think it's so funny how they always wore their armor as holy knights, and yet anytime they wear armor in the present time line, it just immediately cracks off😭

Really anything except pants is going to be blasted off🤪

Okay SO in episode 5, when Ban is about to get his scar from the dragon handle sword, he tells Meliodas "you and me have been hanging together for a lot of years now." This scene takes place 12 years before present (bp). Does this mean Ban and Meliodas were friends before the formation of the Sins? Or was Ban the first after him and Merlin? Ban has been immortal 20 years BP, leaving 8 years in between present and the flashback. 8 years before this scene, Meliodas was still in Danafal/Danfor and would be for another 4 years. What does any of this mean? Idk, just thot it was intriguing lol.

Also how did I not notice this is the first time we see demon!Meliodas !! Baby's first sighting as an unnatural creature with otherworldly rage🥰🥰

Also the fact we never see the scar Gil gave him again lol. Plus him presumably needing to do demon mode so hellfire can heal him is actually rlly cool

Just thought about how Elizabeth laying her hand on his chest to check the scar was the first time in years his love touches him with gentleness or concern🥲🥲

The fact that it took me 6 years to realize that when Meliodas says he'll keep the promise he made to Elizabeth, even if she should die is referencing the promise he made to her originally to break their curses🥲😬😤😭😭😭😭

6'11 Ban thinking that he even had a chance in fitting in Jericho's armor is just so... him

Diane calling Elizabeth kiddo is so fucking cute🥺

Also they definitely get away with a lot more innuendos and swears. The words badass and foreplay in the same episode? Impressive

[umemiyan]

(Ik I already left my tags on ur sakura edit but)

I didn't even know you liked video editing, thats so cool! /gen (especially since you were 9 omg...I could barely even type when I was that age sksjdksjssn)

I hope u don't mind me bugging you with some questions but: what editing program did you use/what programs do you like? And do you have any ideas for any future edits/anything you want to do? 🎤

HI ROMY!!!!! you’re not bugging me at all ❤️

yes yes yes i love video editing and such! i’ve been doing things like that for a long time and have even done some semi-professionally! i also shoot video and have dabbled in photography as well. i guess i don’t talk about those things much since i haven’t been doing them for a while haha. i’ve gathered a lot of little hobbies/skills/interests over the years

as for programs, i primarily use adobe premiere pro! i currently have the 2019 version on my laptop because it’s… ahem… unofficial we shall say 😌 i’ve been learning how to p*rate things since i was basically prepubescent.

i’ve recently learned about the sapphire fx plugin and have also used davinci resolve for color correcting/grading in the past. i’ve used adobe after effects a little but honestly i haven’t messed with it in a long time and my current projects seem to do fine in just premiere. years ago i used sony vegas pro and i remember liking it as well! i mostly ended up switching to adobe during college because it flowed better with everything i had going on, but honestly i’m not up to date with all the latest stuff so i don’t know about any newer programs or which ones are “better” now

as for other projects, i have a few suggestions in my inbox that i’m hoping to give a try! i asked for people to drop a character and a song in my inbox a few days ago (i think while you were busy off tumblr) and i did a togame one as requested and the sakura one was just a little brain child of mine lol

however there’s a giyuu one i would like to do and also one for gojo! they both have slightly different tones from the ones i’ve done so far and i’m excited about trying my hand at other styles!

OH and i meant to tell you i saw your new theme/video and i LOVE IT!!!!!

[voxofthevoid]

hello omg I’m super delighted to have you here in the goyuugo fandom and I SO can’t wait to read your fics of them (PLUS your thoughts on goyuu that you post here on tumblr)!!! the interesting premise of each fic got me buzzing, chewing glass and punching the wall when I was saving all of them for later. oh I’m gonna be eating so good when I have the time and I’m in a good headspace where I can savor the fics the way they deserve to be. thank YOU ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

also I just wanna share the way I was instantly filled with even more glee to know that goyuu/yuugo is the only gojo ship you’re into… I was like, “YEEESSS!!!!!” 🫡🙇‍♂️🤩🥳😌🙏🏼💯❤️‍🔥 all’s going according to plan 🤩 lmao but it’s true, I’m happy about it cause same!!! extremely based of u, really.

btw, I would like to kindly recommend you to use yuugo as a tag if their dynamics are top yuuji/bottom gojo, most particularly on ao3! there’s a top yuuji/bottom gojo tag in there hehe it’s just so people who prefer that dynamics can search for it easily and people who don’t go for that dynamics won’t get landmined without them knowing! 💛 as for me, I like both dynamics so I’ll definitely enjoy anything you put out!

anyway I hope you’re having a lot of fun here in the goyuugo fandom and hope that you’ll continue to find it fun here!! ❤️‍🔥

(you don’t have to reply to this ask at all btw!! just you reading it is cool!)

Thank you, anon! I'm in this corner of JJK to stay for a while, judging by my current word count, so you'll see me haunting the tags for a long time. I'm glad you're happy to have me there! And it's lovely to hear that you like the fic premises.

Haha, yeah, goyuu is the only Gojou ship I like, though I'm prone to writing other Yuuji ships alongside goyuu. I shamelessly play favorites. Well, there's also Gojou/Gojou...does that count?

Re the tags: It's not that I'm unaware of their existence, I'm choosing not to use them.

The goyuu/yuugo distinction (and similar ones for other anime ships) is an Eastern fandom feature rather than a Western one in my experience, and while I can tell there's some bleedthrough these days, I'm still more used to a single ship name being common on the Western side. While I appreciate the specificity of the Eastern style, I prefer the uniformity of the Western one. Links to my fic are tagged with 悠五 on Tumblr for extra organization, but other than that, I don't use "yuugo" in any meaningful sense.

I haven't tagged who tops or bottoms (or switches) in my Ao3 fics since 2018 for reasons that can be summed up as "some shitty fandom attitudes/behaviors pissed me off." That's not going to change. I understand having strict preferences, and I encourage people who don't want to read top!Yuuji x bottom!Gojou to avoid my works; however, they don't need me to tag top/bottom for this. All my fics are rated as "explicit" and tagged with "anal sex." Readers with strict preferences can (a) avoid fics not tagged with t/b entirely, (b) Ctrl+F for "cock" or "dick" to see who puts it in whom, or (c) ask me outright.

I understand that you intended this as well-meaning advice, but my tagging practices in general have been put in place after a lot of thought and for particular reasons. The best part of Ao3 is that it lets writers present their fics how they want. Mine have enough information to allow people to curate their experiences, but the specificities of that information cater to my standards. To go by your metaphor, there are no landmines here, but I expect people to watch where they step carefully.

That got a little long, but I see this question often, so I wanted to clarify. I guess I can just link this ask if someone asks again.

Thank you again! I hope you'll enjoy the fics if you read them 💙

[bitchbot3000]

✨ Fic Authors Self Rec ✨

Rules: Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass this onto other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

Thanks @firecoloredwater for the tag 💜 Tbh, I'm still trying to be more active on tumblr but I'm not very good at it, so if I end up tagging people who've already done this, we'll just pretend I didn't 😌 @silverutahraptor @insomnikat-mused You're up next?

Now, on to the recs...

A C I D U L A T I O N

Megumi / Sukuna | Explicit

This fic feels a little weird for me, I can't get a clear view of it because I wrote it over a space in time where I felt like something was changing in the way that I write (still in it, tbh), but there are parts of it I'm really in love with, even if there are a few that feel iffy as well.

Zen’in Megumi is an amusement. Something to toy with; twist and squeeze and bend until he breaks. He is also a threat, a rare and sincere one, and the thought of what he might become—more than just promise, more than potential, more than the mere possibility of being brought to heel—is perhaps the most tantalizing idea Sukuna has come across in all his years spent languishing amongst the chaos he creates. Unfortunately, something still holds Megumi back. Or rather, he still holds back something within, and Sukuna cannot fathom why he allows himself to go to such waste. Megumi breaks the monotony of Sukuna's lifestyle of lavish violence with his potential to become a worthy opponent. Sukuna will see that said potential is realized for the sake of his own amusement, and wring whatever else he can from Megumi in the meantime.

W H I R L W I N D S

Hashirama / Mito | General

Okay, honestly, this fic was SO outside of my typical box. It's sweet, it's soft, it's not explicit in the least, and it's canon abiding! And yet? It turned out to be one of the most naturally flowing things I've ever written. It was for an event that had a limited word count, so in retrospect, there are a few things I'd like to let breathe more, but it's not the end of the world, I'm still very happy with it.

Mito’s mother has been gone nearly a month. When she returns home, she returns with many stories to tell of the Village Hidden in the Leaves. Hope colours more of her words than Mito might have expected for a land so recently war-torn, and when she dismisses everyone from their company for evening tea and hands Mito a scroll sealed with the stamp of the Leaf, she understands that it was for her own sake.

N O W A N D F O R E V E R

Aemond / Lucerys | Explicit

I fell into and back out of this fandom at light-speed which is probably for the best cause honestly, it looks like a hot mess, HOWEVER, I'm very glad I wrote this first. It's horny, the writing flows well, and it has incest! What more could you want?

All his life, people have looked at Lucerys and seen only what should be, rather than what is. Here and now, he can choose what others will see when they look his way.

M O S A I C E Y E S : R E M I X E D C 1

Fem!Izuna / Tobirama | Explicit

A few of you have probably read Mosaic Eyes, the Remixed series is essentially a series of unconnected "alternative" chapters, each written as if a scenario from Mosaic Eyes had taken a different turn. The first chapter was a total indulgence in making Tobirama the worst version of himself that exists in my head, and I've always been very pleased with how it turned out. He's a HUGE bastard. Enjoy.

“I think,” he crouches in front of her, takes her jaw in hand and squeezes until he can feel the bruises blooming under her skin, “that before you are your brother’s sister, you are my wife. You can scream from the rooftops that your husband has violated you and be ignored. You are my property to do with as I please, have no delusions about that. Your brother may take issue, but so long as you are alive and in my hands, there’s little he can do without risking you and your life is the one thing he will not take action against.” “You would ransom my life to continue raping me?” “I would have a wife who behaves as one.”

U N B O U N D S E R I E S

Multi | Explicit

Alright, last but very much not least, this series is my baby. Which does make it a little bit insane that I haven't published anything for it in about a year and a half.

When Naruto ended, I hated the epilogue, and I spent years afterwards considering what might be a more fulfilling ending for the characters. Eventually, this series took shape and I ended up with an outline totalling about 60k (rip). I wrote the first part, published it, and then life happened.

Now, I'm actually pretty glad for the delay, because the story definitely lacked direction and depth and it was going to be way too long for those not to be staples. I've done an unreasonable amount of revision to the outline, and I'd like to revise part 1 a little bit as well, and then get back to writing this in the new year once all of my other WIPs are done and dusted.

When the chaos of war has abated and the dust settles, there's nothing left but rubble and ash. All they can do is rebuild. A large-scale alternative epilogue.

[starseungs]

hm tumblr must have eaten my ask but could you ship your moots with skz please? or who's compatible with who?

omg hi!! yes i did actually get your first ask 😭 i guess i took too long to answer it sjsjsj sorry abt that but here:

🏹 | shipping my moots w/ skz members !

#chan x @starlighthan — hi ate riel 🙇‍♀️ okay we haven't really talked that much yet but from that short convo we had before you seem really dependable? like i'd totally see you and chan as the parent of the group kind of couple <3 you'd vibe in that way

#minho x @comet-falls — dahlia my wife i literally have no other reason than you've been teasing me lately 💀💀 imagining you with minho is even more of disaster for my well-being but you two would love that wont you- anyway yall would be cute or whtvr just spare me;;

#changbin x @dadonbabysworld — angel baby angel~ from our interactions you seem like the type of person who likes deep talks, or atleast intellectual ones so thats why i paired you with binnie! could totally see late night talks between you two yknow? just a comfortable atmosphere 🤧💓

#hyunjin x @luvrhyune — elle my bff i swear i didnt pair u with hyune just because of the acc theme- both of u r very artistic people and i feel like he'd be able to understand you best 🥺🤍 also in my head hyune is kinda a theatre kid so thats a plus i guess

#han x @zoe8stay — zoe !! paired u with han cause i feel like you two would have the BEST conversations... im talking random but full of interest for the both of you 😌👌 i love seeing your lil updates and sharings on the tl and jisung is the type of enjoy that as well (ive been told we're quite similar so take my word for it)

#felix x @tyuniiz — val and lix its just so??? yes??? adorable, patience, appreciation, just overall fluff vibes. 😩💘 i feel like felix would get you so well,, and you would get him too. and everyone is just happy- sorry i just feel sunshine vibes from the two of u, how could i not pair it !

#seungmin x @starlostseungmin — that should be me 💔 joking ate keisy huehue anyway why this pairing? you two give off the same vibes to me !! idk how to explain it but its calm and neat- you two would totally get along tbh match made in heaven for real theres no denying

#jeongin x @bookishcalls — and lastly for my lovely rim >< jeongin. like i paired you two right away. ur both just so cute and young to me (wow as if im not young myself) so i see a very fun puppy love... highschool sweethearts type of vibe 😻😻

[itsdelicate]

omg i remember u mentioning getting a new tat and wanted to ask what u wanted to get but completely forgot dkjfns. so what did you get?

yes it isss!! it took me forever to properly get into music like the only reason i ever started liking specific artists was quarantine lmao. that is so wow omg. so like fearless era? that mustve been fun tho!! honestly i would love to spend half my life a swiftie lol. i was i was!! like omg the bad blood mv is prob one of the biggest "omg girls?!!?!??!!?" moments of my life like that scene w her velcroing on the boxing glove w her teeth,,, the hair, the makeup, just everything. i still scream a little when i see that scene lmao. and also like ybwm, love story, ikywt, blank space (another mv i was obsessed w), etc etc. the popular ones!! and my vocal teacher actually introduced me to cruel summer (which i loved) and also her cover of riptide. like now thinking ab it,,, how did he even know omg??? SO TRUE like inject ivy into my veins its so *chefs kiss*. YES YES YES mad woman is so scream in the car or into a pillow while crying i love her sm. LMAO YES i remember seeing it and genuinely thinking. huh. a happy song cool! and then its just pain for 5 mins which i absolutely LOVE.

AWWW THEYRE SO SWEET I CANT JKMDWMV i would cry if any of them did that to me. so valid so true shes just so !!!??!??!??!?!?!?

yessssssss. rapunzel is such an icon <3 she so issss!!!! OMG I LOVE MAMMA MIA SM!!!!! abba is obvs everything and meryl streep???!?!?!!!! AND amanda seyfried AND julie walters AND christine baranski???!!?!!!? AND colin firth and pierce brosnan?!?!?!?! its such a classic and i could watch it forever jkdmsfvjnm. yes omg i immediately stop the second i feel a bit annoyed w it. okok i def will!!

it is it is njskodjn. haha yea ik a lot of ppl dont really like it lmao but the second i heard it was obsessed. RIGHT??? makes me cry everytime. im very much a sad songs lover <3

yea me too!! like to go to a mall and seeing the massive tree and all the decorations?? so pretty so fun i love it.

glad i could be of service lol ajnsmf <3 yes it did thanks!! my friends and i are planning on watching the black panther movie together so that hopefully!! have u watched it? and wbu do u have any plans? also i realise that i totally spam u in these replies iwdkfvs im so sorry i talk and ramble a lot lmao

xxx ur secret santa

very rude of tumblr not to tell me i got your ask 😒 anyway! it’s a little mermaid rat!! it has the prettiest colours in it’s tail and the design was to raise funds for the mermaids charity who support trans, non-binary and gender diverse kids and families <33333

oooh gotcha i totally get it a lot of my friends aren’t into music like at all but i’m so glad you found a love for taylor’s music hehe yess fearless era!! but you’re here now!! you can be an honorary since-fearless-era stan 😌 love that for you omg the scene you’re talking about it,,, Yes whew on this topic i didn’t know it then but the story of us mv was a gay awakening for me ahdjfj and yes the blank space mv was SO good!! (is it your fav music video?) i will never not be upset that cruel summer didn’t become a single IT WAS RIGHT THERE!!! omgggg stop her cover of riptide is my fav thing ever i listened to it obsessively for ages your vocal teacher knew what he was doing 😌 help i didn’t even process that it’s over 5 mins long it’s so 🥲

EXACTLY EXACTLY!!! i had like post concert (convention 🤔) depression for days after lmao

YESSS it’s such a classic and so feel good i love it so so much!! my cousin introduced me to all the abba songs when i was like 7 and she burned them onto a cd for me under the instructions that id stop singing mamma mia at all hours cause i was annoying her 💀 and then i proceeded to audition with mamma mia the song for my school’s talent show and all the teacher’s laughed cause i was literally 8 years old singing about how i’d been cheated on and i was brokenhearted 😭 shfkgk i have to do that when i overplay taylor’s songs sometimes like ok i have to listen to another album now or i’ll burn myself out smh

it had such a different sound! but i love it now and omg i always find myself avoiding really sad songs 🤧

yeah!! it’s such a lovely time and i adore going to christmas markets <3

omg nice! no i haven’t ahdjf i actually haven’t seen mcu movies 🫣 i never got into them and my friend’s a huge fan who keeps asking to me watch them but it feels like there’s too much to get into now from the beginning shdjf and no omg i love it!! spam away 😌

i hope you’re having a good week!! 🥰

[felixsbakingbud]

OH BOY ITS BEEN TOO LONG SINCE I’VE DONE ONE OF THESE (I missed these sm)

First off, please pay for my non existent therapy bills bc I am in the emotional trenches rn /jk

Ok but actually, I can’t even begin to describe how beautiful, how poetic, how raw this feels. I’m actually still crying a tiny bit bc this fic was such an emotional rollercoaster (in a good way obviously)

This was so comforting. Like genuinely I needed to read this so badly (we love 1am hurt/comfort reads honestly what a time to be alive). I feel that you’re just able to encapsulate hurt and healing from that hurt so well. Like I FELT y/n’s pain a ton trying to reclaim in a way the things they used to love before the breakup. Like any breakup, regardless if it was romantic or not, involves so much pain with trying to reclaim what you used to enjoy with that person before. And the worries, the fears of never truly being loveable. Had me sobbing already.

And then the way you write Hyunjin oh my GODDDDD. You are SO right, he makes me love love again and he’s just such a gentle soul I cry when I think about him (I am still crying btw). I LOVEEE how you integrated his songs in here too (especially the hidden DLMLU bc that song hits me a lil too hard in the relatable department). Long for you actually changed my brain chemistry and this whole fic just screams Hey You too ☹️☹️ I am STILL thinking about the “and if you don’t know love I will make the best of us” bc it’s just Hyunjin wrapped up all nicely in a lyric. And THE ENDING PERFECTLY ENCAPSULATES THAT TOO 😭😭😭

(Also I was ironically streaming cover me right as Hyunjin mentioned it and some other world level stuff happened cuz y did I get to the Seungmin high note as y/n was jokingly imitating it like that was funny)

I love love LOVE how u write endings and this one is especially so beautiful bc they’re not just talking about flowers they’re talking about each other and the kiss ur honor the kiss had me crying all over again. It’s so tender, so gentle, so sweet. I just can’t aahhhhhhhhh this was truly the most beautiful little fic and reward for myself for finishing my finals

Ilysm bae ☹️☹️☹️

Now we have the part that I love, crying even more over Sahar’s beautiful writing 😌 screenshot edition bc I’m learning how to use tumblr so my phone doesn’t hate me and overheat

YEP THESE BROKE ME EARLY ON GOT ME SUPER FAST THERE HASAAAA. Just, yea 🥲🥲🥲 it was a very relatable part for me that 100% did not nearly make me cry. Just the pain of losing something that ou cared so much about out bc of someone else and not even knowing how to accept happiness anymore had me bawling almost 😭

And here is where I started crying WOOOO but actually Hyunjin would say something so gentle and sweet like this, it’s so him coded ☹️

OK ANGST I SEE U 🥲🥲🥲🥲 the DLMLU reference had me crying and then response from Hyunjin it’s so bloody painful to read but in a GOOD WAY 😭😭😭 like it hurts but it’s all worth it in the end and that makes me cry even more

In conclusion, I LOVED this fic as usual and I just love how you bring to life the whole process of healing slowly and learning to trust in love again. Love is so integral to us and I couldn’t think of a better person to embody that than the definition of love himself Hwang Hyunjin ☹️

The snow falls, we fall apart.

summary: when heartbreak looms on your life, and winter becomes a time you loathe, hyunjin helps you rewrite your memories with the season, and with it, everything you once believed about love.

genre: producer student!hyunjin x reader. roommates!au. friends to lovers. acute descriptions of heartbreak and general sadness. slow burn. hurt/comfort. healing and hopeless romantic hyune. very inspired by long for you so lots of pining and yearning. (wc: 13k)

warnings: mentions of alcohol. it is implied that reader was in an a very toxic relationship but no details are shared.

a.n: happy birthday to my hyunjin, my muse, my light. thank you for being so full of love that it made me love love again in return. this is i think my most personal piece, and i hope it reminds those who need it that love should be soft and kind, that it shouldn’t hurt, that it should heal not break. i love you guys and i love you my xi, writing this collab with you has been a true honor <3 also!! please listen to long for you while reading :,)

winter falls masterlist.

You’ve only ever felt utter despair twice in your life.

First, when you were seven years old, playing hide and seek with your cousins at your grandma’s house. It was a warm summer afternoon, the air sweetened by pastries you devoured hours ago. You decided to hide in a wooden cabinet up in the attic, only to end up stuck there. The walls felt like they were closing in on you, the oxygen seeping away from the cracks underneath the door, leaving you deprived of air, of life.

Second, at twelve, when you've come to discover sorrow's new facet, clad in grief's heavy cloak. Your parents adopted a hamster for your birthday, but they did not know he had a terminal disease. You were distraught, to say the least, when you awoke to its still form, death claiming a frail heart unaware of its imminent fate.

And now, third, many many moons later, you are knocking on Hyunjin’s door a few minutes after midnight. It is cold out, tears tracing rivulets on your cheeks, your fingers tinted pink from roaming outside in the harsh winds, your heart much heavier than when you were a child. More grief-stricken, at your own hands, this time.

A disheveled Hyunjin opens the door, his blonde ash hair tousled and sticking upwards, a clear indication of the many times he had run his hands through it in fits of frustration. His gray hoodie zipped up hastily, revealing the silver cross necklace he was wearing, nestling perfectly against his honeyed skin.

You've always had an aversion to seeking comfort, saw it as revealing your deepest vulnerabilities to a world that isn't always kind. It was easier, much simpler to do so when you were a clueless child— when you sank in your cousin Lia's hold as she attempted to steady your breathing, when your mother cradled you in her lap after Pinky died.

It is much harder now, much more embarrassing because Hyunjin has never seen you this sad, never glimpsed your shadows that now swarm his doorstep, unannounced.

“What's wrong?” he quickly asks, eyes darting over your figure in a rapid search for visible wounds. He wouldn’t find any. All your injuries stem from within— blood doesn’t have to be spilled for your heart to weep.

You had rehearsed a lie as you walked up to his doorstep. You would say that your car broke down near his place and ask if you could stay over for the night. He would insist he could drive you to your place and you’d refuse, saying that it was too late and you did not wish to bother him. You’d sleep on the couch and slip away in the early hours of the morning.

Yet, it is the genuine worry etched in his eyes that dismantles the fortress you've hidden in, melts the lie in your throat, morphing it into a steel lump coiling in your throat. He looks concerned when all you’ve had directed towards you recently was anger. And you missed someone looking at you in care, not reproach.

“I didn’t know where else to go.” You admit, your voice shattered, fragments of your vocal cords scattered out in the wind like a broken mosaic, the sound of it scraping against your ears.

Blow one hurt. It felt like your body turned against you as it deprived you of oxygen. The sobs that escaped you once you perceived the light pained you, perhaps more than being confined in the darkness.

Blow two was even worse, it was your first time experiencing grief. It was too hard of a concept for your innocent heart to grasp, too complicated for you to find solace in anything as adults do.

You promised yourself that you’d reserve blow three for monumental agonies— big pains and big sorrows only. That’s how you managed to keep all your tears at bay for most of your life. Would they be worth losing your third sob for? No, you've always found the answer to be.

And in all the twisted scenarios you’ve conjured up in your mind, deaths and illnesses and the haunting tale of failure, you did not imagine that it would happen on Hwang Hyunjin’s doorstep. That you’d burst into sobs at the compassionate look in his gaze, and the sad smile he sent your way. As if he knew, as everyone did around you. That you had handed a knife to a serial killer and it was only a matter of time before he stabbed you in the heart.

Two weeks ago.

“I’m trying to understand you but you aren’t helping me,” Seungmin is frustrated as he paces relentlessly before you from left to right like a swinging pendulum. You sit on the couch, beholding only his shoes, avoiding his gaze that would reflect the truth you dare not confront.

“He’s sucking the life out of you, can’t you see that?”

You can, out of everyone that surrounds you, you can see it the most. You feel as if you are carrying a skin that isn’t your own, weighed down by a relationship that has taken everything from you. But admitting it is admitting that you were wrong, in trusting him, in loving him. You couldn’t bear it.

“We are fine!” you shout back, the defiance in your voice surprises even you. This is a familiar script with Seungmin, a recurring conversation spurred by your puffy eyes and diminishing appetite. He tells you, begs you to leave, but where could you go? How could you leave a home where you've shed all your treasured belongings at the door— your skin, your bones, your very self.

What place would welcome you now that you're stripped bare of your soul?

“When was the last time he made you smile, huh? All he does is hurt you, and you...” he chuckles incredulously, running his hand through his hair. “You are letting him.”

Deny, deny, deny.

“This isn’t true. He loves me,” the words taste foreign in your mouth like rusty metal dragging across your lips. A small voice whispers that love shouldn't feel like this, but you quiet it down.

“Are you hearing yourself? Yn, I…” he kneels before you, his hands resting comfortingly on your knees. This is Seungmin, your best friend of five years. You know he has your best interests at heart, you are even more sure of it when his voice softens, shakes slightly when he utters your name. “Yn, please. I’m trying to help you. Please.”

“I didn’t ask for your help,” you push away his hands, standing up. “I don’t want your help, and I don’t need it.”

You quickly leave Seungmin’s dorm, your heart heavier than when you entered it, foolishly hoping that he'd ignore your distressed state after yet another fight with your boyfriend. But Seungmin doesn't understand, no one around you does— you’ve gambled your heart, and you cannot stop drawing the cards, even in the face of losing strikes.

❁ ❁ ❁

Hyunjin offers you a cup of tea with a gentle smile and you grab the steaming drink from his hands. The smell of chamomile wraps around your senses, and your brain fizzles out for a second before the soothing aroma. But it is a fleeting respite, the tempest of your thoughts crashes back onto you with an unsettling force, causing you to almost drop the drink as your hands shake. You place it down the table without taking a sip.

“I’m sorry for coming unannounced,” you apologize, wincing at the intrusion, “I hope I didn’t wake you up.”

“I always sleep late. Don’t worry about it,” he smiles, but you know it isn’t a genuine grin, because his eyes betray an unsubdued concern, refusing to morph into their usual moon crescents.

You’ve always thought that Hyunjin wears his emotions openly— when he laughed, he did so loudly, his boisterous giggles traveling around Seungmin’s dorm. When he hurt himself, everyone in the vicinity would know so from his loud yelps. And when something worried him, he would bite his lip, toying with the plush flesh to ease his nerves.

As he is doing now. Looking at you.

“We broke up,” you quickly say, and your words hang over you like a gloomy cloud. “But I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Do you want me to fight him? I’ll bring changbin too,” he suggests a serious tone underlying his playful offer, and it manages to tear a reluctant giggle out of you.

“Changbin doesn’t know me well enough to fight for me,” you counteract and he shakes his head. “He’ll fight for me, I'm his princess.”

“Are you now?” The giggle escapes your mouth less forcefully, and the smile that graces Hyunjin’s face is a genuine one.

“I am. My proposal stands,” he extends his hand and you wrap your fingers around his palm. “Thank you, I’ll keep it in mind,” you smile but he frowns, flipping your hand around in his hold.

“You are freezing,” he whispers, using his other palm to rub warmth into yours.

“It’s fine,” you lie, slipping your hand out of his grasp, not feeling deserving of his kindness.

Wordlessly, Hyunjin stands, walking into what you assume is his bedroom. You only know of his place because you dropped off Seungmin here some time ago. You are too exhausted to even drink in the interior.

“Here,” he returns, handing you a navy hoodie of his and black joggers. “This will keep you warm at night.”

“Thank you,” you whisper, hesitating for a few seconds before speaking again. “Can you please not tell Seungmin, I... I can't face him right now.”

“Of course. I’ll be awake still if you do need something.”

Hyunjin’s clothing is warm, although peeling away your own garments felt like shedding layers of your skin, as if the fabric melted into your very flesh, just like memories from the day did. You have never felt this worthless before, discarded like a forgotten leaf on the roadside, one he stepped on for his own enjoyment, leaving you crushed in his wake, unable to fly away again.

Hyunjin’s rose perfume wraps around you, and you find relief in sleeping somewhere where your, his, scent was no longer around. You foolishly hope that if you close your eyes hard enough, you’ll manage to convince yourself that you’re someone else, tonight. Someone who isn’t tethered to the heartache, someone who can slip away from the clutches of a love that hurts more than hate could ever manage to do.

❁ ❁ ❁

Heartbreak isn’t beautiful, no matter how eloquently you try to dress it in the syllables of poetry, no words can soften the burn in your lungs, the searing ache that courses through your very core, reminding you that deep within, down to the fundamentals of your being and the most basic alchemy that ties your atoms together— you are unlovable. Whether you cut your hair or allow it to grow, change your heart, or leave it as it has always been, you will remain so.

You don’t remember much of the past week, blurry fragments here and there that float in your mind like a distorted water reflection. There is little room for memories when you are busy trying to remember how to breathe— one inhale in, one exhale out. The simple concept seems harder when there are unkind hands permanently lodged into your heart, squeezing it tight.

What you do remember is telling Seungmin through text the next day, because you couldn’t bear the way his eyes would soften if you spoke to him in person. No signs of surprise cast on his figure, because he knew that it was long coming, a train with one final inevitable destination— you in shambles, him okay.

You remember Seungmin cradling you in his arms when he came to see you, and you trying desperately to keep the tears at bay— too focused on pinching your arm to let Seungmin’s warmth radiate through your being, Hyunjin lingering uncomfortably by the entrance of his living room.

You remember begging Seungmin to grab your belongings from the apartment you shared with your ex because you were unable to face him, him, and everything that your old place spelled out for you. Stand in the ruins of what you once thought would be your permanent home.

And now, you watch as Seungmin and Hyunjin bring suitcases full of your stuff into the latter’s place. And you feel like an outsider in your own body, standing at the corner of the room gazing at utter destruction, unable to stop it, unable to mend it. Seungmin quickly reassures you that you could crash in his and Minho’s place until you find a new one to live in, already taking out his laptop to search for new apartments for you.

But you did not care for it, your eyes zeroed in on the satin shirt peeking out of your suitcase. The one he bought you on your first month anniversary. Back when love felt like a gentle feather running down your spine, and not a dull knife slicing away at your skin.

“This place's expensive too,” Seungmin sighs, rubbing his temple warily. Your logical best friend could not fix your heartbreak but he took it to heart to alleviate your other troubles. You would thank him for it, later, when your tongue finds enough will to move.

“What if you move in with me?” Hyunjin suddenly says and his words filtrate through the fog in your mind easily, as if he rehearsed them enough times so they’d roll out smoothly out of his mouth. “I mean, Felix is away for the next year since he went back to Australia. And I was looking for a new roommate anyway.” He shrugs and Seungmin turns to look at you, his eyes convey the question his mouth doesn’t articulate— is it okay with you?

“I don’t…” your voice is croaked, so you clear your throat. “I don’t want you to do things out of pity.”

“I’m not. If I was, I would've told you to move in with me for free. I still need you to pay rent,” he raises his eyebrows, a playful tease and you smile in relief, nodding, “Okay, I will. thank you.”

Heartbreak is ugly and all-encompassing, weaving through the roots of your heart and infecting each organ with its insidious touch. It renders you immobile, incapable of performing the simplest tasks, burdened by a weight unseen by the world. But you try your best, your very best to contain it.

You smile at the cashier as she hands back your money only to wonder if her soft, well-manicured hands would too crush a soul without remorse. You go to all your classes without fail but your mind is elsewhere, contemplating why the sun filtering through the windows no longer warms your skin. Can nerve endings perish when subjected to too much pain? What's left of life when you can no longer feel the caress of the sun?

You watch a movie at Seungmin's dorm but your mind is elsewhere, fleeting to this morning and how you refused to stay in the shower for more than three minutes because your thoughts might become haunting ghosts tempting you to follow them. You brush your hair and spray your perfume, only because you have to, because you live with Hyunjin and you wouldn’t want your sadness to taint him too. You wonder how long you’ll have to bear it. You wonder if it’ll ever leave you or if the veins in your heart have molded themselves after the pain and they wouldn’t know how to accept happiness anymore.

You greet Hyunjin as he walks past you, shaking your head when he asks you if you want to eat dinner with him, quickly retracting back into your room. You have ten unread messages and a pile of growing laundry you need to do, but all you can muster is to gaze at the empty walls, mirroring the void within you. Your mom told you to call her again and you don’t know how you’ll speak to her without bursting into a sob, how you’ll tell her that all it took was one person to break you. Or maybe it was two people, your hands and his tearing apart your flesh and bones. Maybe that’s the worst part about it. So you don’t call her.

And you only ever emerge from your room when you need to, just like now because your water bottle is finished and you need to refill it. You go to open the kitchen door when you hear Hyunjin’s muted shatter, Felix’s distinctive deep voice coming out of the phone speaker.

“Next you add the melted butter and stir it,” Felix instructs, the sounds of pots and utensils clinking in the background. You fidget slightly, mustering the strength to paint a fake smile on your lips.

“What next?”

“Sift the dry ingredients then add them to your wet mixture,” Felix explains, met with a few seconds of silence. You can almost visualize Hyunjin's perplexed expression, blinking rapidly in confusion.

“Explain it to me like I’m five years old,” he requests, prompting a small smile to etch itself onto your face.

“How are you surviving without me?”

“I’m not please come home,” Hyunjin sounds horrified as Felix’s rich chuckles fill the air. “Why do you suddenly want to make brownies anyway?” he then asks.

You go to open the door when Hyunjin’s response catches you off guard.

“They’re for Yn.”

Hyunjin's words resonate in the air, causing a hitch in your throat and Felix’s teasing whistles simultaneously, but Hyunjin is quick to stop him. “No, no, no, it’s not like that. They’re just a bit down and I remember them loving your brownies. So…”

It takes you a fleeting moment to dig the memory out of your mind, a year ago, right before your ex came to pick you up from Seungmin’s dorm. You had a bite of Felix’s brownies, a surprised gasp escaping your lips at its delicious taste, back when food had taste and happiness came easily to you. It was an insignificant memory, you did not imagine Hyunjin, out of everyone, would remember it.

But he did, and he’s now pacing before your closed door, contemplating how he’ll convince you to finally eat something with him. He throws a thumbs-up in the air for no one but himself, inhaling deeply before knocking on your door.

“Hey,” he greets with a hopeful smile, his gaze meeting your tired form. He hesitates for a second, clearing his throat. “Brownies?” You remain unmoving and he falters, “Hm? Please?”

“Sure,” you nod and a wave of relief floods through Hyunjin as you step out of your room. His joy is short-lived when he takes the brownies out of the oven, only to find them thoroughly burnt.

His mouth hangs agape, and he walks back shamefully to the oven, lowering its door only to scream inside of it.

“This will be more therapeutic,” you say, pointing nonchalantly to the fridge and he agrees, opening its doors and yelling once again in the much larger space.

Your melodic laughter fills the kitchen, Hyunjin’s embarrassment is suddenly a forgotten memory.

“I’m craving kimbap. Should we get it instead?” you propose, a touch shyly and he quickly agrees, afraid you’d change your mind and walk back to your room where he can no longer ensure you are okay.

Hyunjin absentmindedly dances along to the music blasting through the convenience store when a girl sidles up to his side, a saccharine grin on her lips as she looks up at him, “hi,” she greets and his tentative smile mirrors hers. “Hey.”

“Are you single?” she asks, her gaze briefly fleeting to the window. “I think you are really cute.”

“I’m…” he glances at you but you're suddenly engrossed in the ingredients of the tuna kimbap you are holding, pretending not to listen. “I am but I’m not interested, thank you.”

“Oh, come on,” she places a hand on his arm and he physically recoils. “Give me your insta and we could talk.”

“No,” he repeats, grabbing her hand to remove it when a loud voice startles him. “Baby, what’s taking you so— What are you doing?” Hyunjin watches in horror as the girl’s eyes grow wide, before she scrambles to the man’s side, feigning fear.

“He kept hitting on me when I said I had a boyfriend, baby.”

“What?” both you and Hyunjin gasped in comical unison. He would find it amusing if not for the escalating anger radiating from the man, who looks like he spends all his days in the gym. Hyunjin suddenly regrets not working out with Changbin.

The man strides towards Hyunjin. “Do you want to die?”

“No? there’s a misunderstanding,” he replies, swiftly standing before you and shielding you with his arm. “Your… baby,” he wiggles his finger in front of the man's face, “she was the one hitting on me!”

The man scoffs loudly, his face growing redder from the anger seething in him. “So you hit on my girlfriend and then accuse her of cheating?” His fist rises threateningly, prompting Hyunjin to step back, accidentally bumping into your chest.

“Wait, wait, wait! Let’s go talk outside, man to man,” Hyunjin pauses, his voice taking on a taunting edge, “unless you're too scared?” he smirks as he feels you pull at his shirt, whispering an incredulous- “What are you doing?” He shakes his head, grabbing your hand and leading you outside, throwing a sly wink at the man behind you now.

“Are you seriously going to fight him?” you ask, your gaze shifting towards the deranged couple who are about to step out of the grocery store. “No, of course not. I'm a lover, not a fighter.”

“You said you'd fight my ex,” you point out and his eyes soften surprisingly.

“You are an exception.” He looks back at the man, who's now walking towards you both. “But anyways, do you know how to run?” he asks and you frown, “who doesn’t know how to—” you pause as realization dawns on you. “No," you whisper furiously.

“Yes.”

“No,” you shake your head, horrified and he nods, eyes apologetic.

“Yes.” His fingers entwine with yours, he squeezes your hand once before he takes off running.

“Hwang fucking Hyunjin!” you shout and he looks back at you, a mischievous smile on his face. “I’m sorry Yn my face is too pretty to be beaten up.”

“He’s following us!” you yell, looking back horrified as the, even angrier, man runs after you.

“Well, run faster!”

“I’m wearing fucking slippers!” you curse and he giggles, tipping his head back, the wind slamming into you both, his hand never letting go of your own.

“Oh my god why is he still running!” you groan and Hyunjin picks up speed, moving you even closer to his sprinting figure

“I know, is it ever that serious?” he yells above his shoulder and you dig your nails into his palm.

“Shut up, this wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t so gorgeous.”

“So, you think I’m pretty too?” Hyunjin grins proudly and an incredulous laugh escapes your lips.

“Really? Is this what you’re getting out of this situation?”

“Silver linings, Yn, silver linings,” he shouts as you round a small alley, finally stopping to catch your breath. You both fall to the ground, heavy breaths escaping your chests.

“Holy shit, I’m not athletic at all,” he heaves, his eyes meeting yours. He expects to find anger lingering in your gaze but all he can grasp is your amused smile before you collapse into a fit of laughter, clapping loudly and clutching your stomach with your hand.

“Oh my god, I’m crying,” you laugh harder, wiping away at the tears falling from your eyes. Hyunjin’s weariness disappears in the blink of an eye— he did not realize how much he missed your smile until he glimpsed it again. And it is beautiful. Happiness looks beautiful on you.

“Idiot,” you hit his shoulder playfully, and his response is delayed for a few seconds, the warmth from your smile rendering him immobile.

“I’m sorry,” he chuckles, pulling you up. “Here, I’ll carry you home,” he squats slightly before you. “How impolite of me. How dare I make your majesty run.”

You shake your head, amused, before climbing atop his back, his warm palms holding your thighs securely. “Only because the slippers hurt my feet.”

You walk in silence for a while, your arms wound up around Hyunjin’s neck, the ghost of a smile still lingering on both your faces.

“They said it will snow tomorrow,” Hyunjin speaks suddenly and you stay silent for so long he starts to wonder if you even heard him.

“Mm? That’s nice,” your tone is melancholic, and he pauses at the peculiar sadness in it— as though you were trying to act nonchalant about something that has once meant the world to you.

“Don’t you like the snow?” he asks and your hold on his neck falters.

“I loved it. Loved ice skating and building snowmen.” Your voice is light and airy, like Hyunjin’s favorite mint chocolate ice cream. “But now it reminds me of bad times, bad memories.”

“I understand.”

Hyunjin knows what it feels like to relinquish parts of yourself you never wished to part from. For someone to grab your happiest places and to cast a gloomy filter atop them. Sometimes it is the loss of a season that hurts more than the departure of a person.

And Hyunjin loves winter.

He’ll do everything so that you’ll come to love it again too.

❁ ❁ ❁

Is it a nightmare if the person in it is one you once loved, looked forward to beholding with your gaze, hoping they’d never slip out of your reach? You don’t know, but you are growing tired of having the same dreams every night. Of waking up with an exhaustion that goes beyond your restless sleep but pleads from your soul to rest after almost a year of torment.

You sigh wearily, rubbing a hand through your face before walking to the kitchen to retrieve a glass of water. You find Hyunjin there, eating a cupcake while standing shirtless, scrolling through his phone. You blink at the sight.

“Hey,” you clear your throat and he startles, dropping the cupcake on the ground. He goes to pick it up only to bang his head on the table, a loud yelp escaping his lips. You barely contain your giggles as you walk to his side, rubbing your palm soothingly on his head. “I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you.”

“At least pretend you are sorry,” he mumbles, pointing to your amused smile and you chuckle, taking his hand and helping him to his feet.

“What are you doing up now?” he asks as he grabs some napkins to clean up the pink frosting smeared across the floor.

You hesitate for a few seconds before whispering, “Just nightmares. And you?” you quickly add, not keen on pushing the subject any further.

“I'm working on a song,” he explains, as his gaze lingers on your sunken eyes, weighed down by dark circles from too many sleepless nights.

“And the cupcake?”

“Some people need caffeine to function. I need flour.”

“I literally see you drink three americanos per day.”

“Okay well maybe I need both,” he admits sheepishly and you grin, drumming your fingers along the countertop.

“Can I sit with you while you work?” you ask quickly, before the words linger enough in your mouth that you no longer wish to spit them out.

The smile that Hyunjin sends you is kind, pushing the shadows of your nightmares just slightly out of reach.

“Of course, yeah you can. Don’t even need to ask.”

Hyunjin walks first into his bedroom, quickly slipping on a hoodie while you take in the interior. It is a quite simple room— a large bed with gray covers, and a desk filled with what you assume to be his producing equipment sits adjacent. But what catches your attention is the dried rose hung delicately on the wall, and the array of paintings surrounding it. You edge closer to it, drawn to the well-crafted paintings— a sun-drenched beach, a couple lost in an embrace so intimate their forms can no longer be separated, and an elderly pair riding a motorcycle, their love radiating vibrantly as if enclosed in eternal youth.

“You paint?” you ask, turning around to find Hyunjin watching you. He steps closer, enveloping you once more in the fragrance of his rose perfume.

“In my free time.”

“You are amazing, Hyunjin,” you compliment sincerely, your gaze fixed on that imagery of the old couple, one that most likely grew together. It tugs at your heartstrings, stirs a painful longing within you, a memory of a time when you too believed you’d find such boundless love.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, before brushing his fingertips gently against your forearm, for a fleeting second. “Are you okay?” he asks, a tenderness you’ve been aching for latched into his question. Your eyes refuse to peel away from the paintings and the love spilling from each paint brush stroke, a love that refuses to rest on your being as if you were harboring an armor that repels it.

“No,” you reply sincerely, turning to face him. “It’s really hard,” you say with a smile, hoping that the mechanical display of happiness would keep your tears at bay, tricking your brain into believing you're not as sad as you feel.

It fails to do so, and the tears well in your eyes like a gathering storm. Frustration twists your features as you shut your eyes, tilting your head upward in a desperate attempt to contain the flood. It pauses as Hyunjin cradles the back of your head, drawing you close to the warmth of his neck. His palm glides soothingly along your spine, before patting your back ever so gently.

Your back stiffens, hands curling into tight fists, breath catching in your throat. You've grown accustomed to pushing away comfort, putting up tall barriers to shield yourself. But tonight, Hyunjin seems to break through your defenses.

Tonight, you soften, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt, head nestling deeper against his tender skin.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he whispers and another sob wracks through you, but he only holds you tighter. “It’ll get better soon.”

“I loved him,” you hiccup, your voice breaks, “a lot.”

“I know, that’s why it hurts.” His voice is gentle, and yet his hold on you feels secure as if you could stumble and fall, and he would be there to catch you

“I want it to stop hurting.”

“It will, with time.”

Your next words are tinged with a childlike vulnerability, reminiscent of blow one, then two. But you do not care for it, in that instant, you crave the reassurance, you need someone to plant a seed of hope in your soul because your hands are too frail to dig for it.

“Do you promise me?”

His response doesn’t come hastily, carelessly thrown into the air like idle chatters. He takes his time, considering it with the gravity of an oath.

“I promise you.” He finally says, each syllable infused with sincerity. A brief pause hangs in the air before he adds. “And if it doesn’t then you can hit me.”

“On your pretty face?” you ask, a smile tugging at your lips despite yourself.

“On my pretty face,” he confirms with a chuckle.

“What an honor,” you roll your eyes playfully as you lean back and he grins, tenderly wiping away your tears with the back of his fingers.

“I can't believe it took three minutes for you to cry in my room. This isn’t good for my reputation.”

“Good thing this will never leave this bedroom, right?” you point a finger at him threateningly, and he pretends to zip his lips, tossing away the imaginary key. “You got it.”

“So what are you working on?” you ask as you settle on the edge of his bed, knees drawn up to your chest.

“It’s a pretty sad song, wanna hear?” he offers, sitting across from you on his chair.

“Yeah, I'd love to,” you smile, and Hyunjin deftly adjusts a few buttons, before his melancholic whistles weave through the air, coupled with the somber melody of a piano. Your breath catches in your throat, the music reaching into the very depths of your soul. It's as if the notes are calling out for a loved one, for a time that has long passed, for a past that will never come back no matter how much we long for it.

The instrumental continues, each piano note and each violin string echo like a bittersweet lament, springing tears to your eyes. But the melody remains beautiful, akin to the beauty always found in the sadness— in the tears that cascade down your cheeks like glistening crystals, in the tremble of your hands akin to branches swaying in the wind, in the rise and fall of your chest with each breath, mirroring the ebb and flow of the waves.

Hyunjin watches you intently as the music envelops you both, his gaze softening with each passing moment. You bring a hand to your chest, almost unconsciously, too engrossed in the melody to even blink. He feels a blush sprout on his cheeks as your teary eyes hold his with the last fading guitar strings.

“You keep on making me cry,” you whisper, your voice choked with emotion, and he grins, tilting his head shyly against his shoulder.

“You like it?” he asks, a tad eager and you nod, not bothering to wipe the lone tears that are falling down your cheeks.

“I think this is what my loneliness sounds like,” you confess softly.

“As do mine.”

A silent beat runs between you both, it isn’t uncomfortable, but safe. Because you understand him, just as he understands you.

“Sometimes I long for things that have passed," he admits, “although I know I can't get them anymore.”

“The most terrible thing you can long for is yourself.”

“Because no one’s to blame for that loss but you?” he muses and you nod, a sad smile tugging at your lips. “Yeah, exactly.”

You bite your lip, casting a glance back at the paintings adorning the wall. “I don't love him anymore,” you begin quietly. “I stopped a long time ago because there was no room for love anymore to grow amid weeds and thorns.”

He remains silent, sensing that this is a weight you need to unburden yourself from.

“But in the midst of it I think I stopped loving myself too,” you whisper, a confession too terrible to be uttered out loud. “That's what I long for. The things I used to love that I'm indifferent to now.”

“Like you’re a stranger before everything once familiar to you.”

“Yeah, you express it prettily,” you remark with a small smile.

“It's my job,” he grins lightly.

“I think when your heart is pure,” he begins after a while, pausing to carefully choose the words that will soothe your burn, help sleep come more easily to you. “You give love to others more readily than you do to yourself. And it takes time, patience, to redirect that love back to your own heart once again. But it's not a mistake to love, you shouldn’t hate yourself for it. Nor should you blame your past self for loving the wrong person because they did not know what you now do.”

“Think of it as a caterpillar in their cocoon,” he continues gently, “when they finally emerge from their chrysalis, they might long for who they were, where they once were because it is the only place they've ever known. But they do not realize that they've transformed into a beautiful butterfly, that they can now fly, and witness much more than their chrysalis. So maybe, your new self will love the same things as before, or maybe you’ll find new, better things to love that you would have not known before. But in either way, your heart is beautiful. That is what matters, no?”

A small pout draws on your lips, your eyebrows scrunched as you gaze at him.

“You have a very tender soul, Hyunjin.”

Your words linger in Hyunjin's mind long after the sunrise, as you lay peacefully asleep on his bed. The melody of the instrumental he produced continues to play faintly in the background, serving as a gentle lullaby that eases you into slumber, entwined in his sheets, your arms wrapped protectively around yourself, one hand cradling your shoulders and the other resting gently on your stomach. The image sears into his eyes as he sketches the outlines of a figure holding itself absentmindedly, long into the night.

Hyunjin has had his fair share of compliments, mostly pertaining to his face, and others to his craft. but it is you who seems to have sensed that a part of his soul resided in his art, that he left pieces of his heart hidden in the notes he composes and the lyrics he writes, hoping they’ll find soft hands that will take care of them, just like your own.

Five days later.

hyunjin [11:34 p.m.]: are you home?

yn [11:34 p.m.]: yeahh, do you need anything?

hyunjin [11:35 p.m.]: come downstairs, im waiting for youu

if you say no i’ll freeze to death..

hurry i can’t feel my fingers anymore (please please) ㅠㅠㅠ

“This better be a life and death situation Hwang Hyunjin,” you say threateningly as soon as you appear before Hyunjin, causing him to straighten up from the wall he was leaning against.

“It is a very dangerous life-altering situation that requires your immediate assistance, indeed,” he responds solemnly, ushering you gently to his car and opening the door for you.

“Which is?” you ask as soon as he settles inside the car and he simply grins at you, his left dimple coming forth like the very sun on a gloomy day.

“You’ll see.”

Hyunjin’s eyes fleet to your figure every now and then, but you do not seem to notice, your gaze lost into the blurring lights ahead. He can tell you're still not entirely yourself, so he was prepared to forcibly drag you along with him. He’s almost surprised you accepted to come down so easily.

“Is that… Seungmin?” you speak suddenly, pointing to a man waving in the distance, as Hyunjin parks his car near an empty field.

“And Changbin? And Minho?” you continue, squinting your eyes, “and a bonfire?” you giggle with a hint of excitement.

“You love s’mores during the winter, right?”

Hyunjin smiles, your soul softens.

“I do,” you say quietly, “I really do.”

You quickly exit the car, running into Seungmin's arms with a grin of disbelief plastered on your face. “This is insane,” you almost shout, squeezing him tight in a hug.

“It was so hard to find the perfect middle of nowhere for this,” Minho grumbles as you move to greet him, but the warmth of his embrace assures you he's only teasing.

“Thank you,” you say with a smile as you hug Changbin, who affectionately ruffles your hair. “It was Hyunjin’s idea,” he reveals, and you glance back at Hyunjin, who stands with his hands buried deep within his sweatpants behind you. You mouth a silent “thank you” to him, but he shakes his head modestly as if it is nothing to bring happiness to a bruised heart.

The night unfolds in endless laughter, with Minho and Hyunjin taking turns roasting marshmallows over the crackling bonfire, and Seungmin serving you hot coffee to keep your hands warm. Your stomach aches from the uncontrollable fits of giggles that overtook your being as Minho recounts the time he danced so vigorously on stage for his dance club that he ripped his pants, feeling a breeze where there shouldn't be one; and Changbin tells you the story of the time his voice cracked in the middle of a rap battle, and how none of the boys stopped teasing him about it for months to come.

And as the four of them take turns making you laugh, a quiet, tender realization dawns on you—you are loved. It is something he tried to convince you was impossible, that no one around truly cared for you but him. And even then, you weren’t deserving of his love whole, only scrapes of it, as if you were a beggar tugging at the outskirts of his heart.

But Hyunjin reminded you otherwise. And if your friends found something worthy of love within you then perhaps so will you again, one day.

“Did you have fun?” Hyunjin asks as he opens the door to his, your, apartment hours later. What he doesn't expect is for you to respond by wrapping your arms around his slender torso, squeezing tight in gratitude.

“Thank you,” you whisper and he nods, though you cannot see him, returning the embrace by wrapping his arms around your shoulder blades.

Hyunjin doesn't let go first, sensing that perhaps you need this hug more than he does. He smiles as your eyes meet his again, but his grin falters when he notices your gaze flickering towards your bedroom, a hint of unease clouding your expression. It's as if behind that door lie monsters only you can grasp, wearing the faces of people you once knew, once loved.

“Wanna stay with me while I work on the song?”

“Last time I ended up sleeping on your bed,” you say a bit shamefully, recalling the morning you woke up to find yourself covered with a thick blanket that wasn’t there before, alone in Hyunjin's room.

“It's okay,” he shrugs, “I missed sleeping on the couch.”

You stare pointedly at him and he chuckles, “Fine, I did not miss it. But you needed the sleep, so it’s okay with me.”

“Fine,” you concede, though you did not need much convincing for it. “But only if you promise you’ll wake me up if I end up falling asleep again.”

Hyunjin tilts his head, thinking to himself for a few seconds before shaking his head stubbornly, a small pout drawn on his face, his eyes semi-closed. “No.”

“Hyunjin!”

“Nu-uh,” he insists, shaking his head once more as he walks back towards his room. “I'm waiting for you!”

“I'm not coming!”

But you do eventually join him, after changing your clothes and washing your face. You find Hyunjin clad in beige and white checkered pajamas, his glasses pushing back his silky hair as he hunches over his journal, scribbling away before erasing what he wrote.

“Struggling with lyrics?” you ask, leaning against the wall and he startles. “Do you float on the ground? Why can I never hear you come in?”

“Or maybe you just love being dramatic,” you sing-song, laying atop his bed, much more at ease than the previous night.

Hyunjin sticks his tongue out childishly in response, and you playfully mimic the gesture before both of you dissolve into happy giggles.

“Kind of,” he explains once you both settle down, “I have this specific feeling in mind that I need to convey.”

“You'll do well,” you reassure softly, “your lyrics are always so beautiful. Remember Cover me?” you smile and he scratches the back of his ear, a shy grin spreading across his face.

“You still listen to it?” he asks and you nod eagerly, attempting to belt into Seungmin’s ending high note. You fail horribly and Hyunjin throws a crumpled piece of paper on your face to get you to stop singing.

“My poor ears,” he laughs loudly, and you retaliate by throwing back a pillow on his head.

“You just don’t get my artistic abilities.”

“I’d get them more if you stayed silent.”

You gasp, faking offense as you stand up to tickle Hyunjin on his chair, he starts squirming immediately, his loud giggles spilling all over the room, coating it in vibrant hues of happiness, and you’re suddenly captivated by the sight of him— his head thrown back, a golden lock framing his laughter-filled eyes, his top lowering slightly to reveal glimpses of his collarbones and the delicate veins that trace enticing paths on his neck.

You pause, your hand hovering over the side of his stomach, as a long-forgotten warmth spreads through your heart, like the first rays of dawn greeting the earth after a long winter night. It doesn’t diffuse quickly through your being, but rather drapes like sticky honey on your veins, making you well aware of your growing blush, of how beautiful Hyunjin is in his joy.

“Never singing to you again,” you clear your throat, laying atop his bed once again, and quickly reaching for your phone, anything to avoid his eyes which rival the crescent moon outside his window.

Hours pass before a warm hand gently settles on your shoulder, rousing you from your slumber. Blinking away the fog of sleep, you find Hyunjin leaning over you, his grin wide and infectious. “Wake up,” he whispers, but you only groan, burying your face deeper into his pillow.

He doesn’t yield, taking hold of your wrist and guiding your drowsy figure upright, before wrapping the blanket snugly around your shoulders. Without a word, he leads you out onto his balcony, carefully putting his neon green beanie on your head to shield you from the cold.

“It’s snowing!” he smiles, and his excited tone manages to dissipate the fog in your mind. You blink repeatedly and soon enough, you too behold the fallen snowflakes, each one resembling a tiny speck of light bidding farewell to the sky to greet the earth.

“You missed the first snow so I didn’t want you to miss this one too,” he explains, and his thoughtfulness blankets you with a warmth that seeps into every crevice in your body, drips down your fingertips and makes the cold of 4 a.m. seem less harsh, less biting to the touch.

You don’t know how to say thank you, because those two words don’t encapsulate the depths of gratitude that you feel for Hyunjin. Because he is speaking to the person within you who still loves snow, the part buried underneath layers of dust from a ground heartbreak. But you still manage to hear him, and you squeeze his hand tightly, and he doesn’t let go until you finally do.

❁ ❁ ❁

Remembering has become easier for you these past two months— both the good and the bad. And each day, the scale tips towards one side or the other. Sometimes you recall the suffocation you felt with him, the feeling that no matter what you did you could never please him, that your hands were crafted to break rather than mend. And on those days your wound grows, it throbs and bleeds different emotions.

Sometimes it's anger— at him for treating your heart so carelessly as if you were a being devoid of feeling. And then at you— for staying, for giving him excuses and desperately searching for goodness within him, for the one redeeming quality that would convince you he was worth the pain.

And other days bring an excruciating sadness along, a weight that presses down upon you until you're paralyzed. Because you feel bad for yourself and for everything you went through. Because you’re unsure how to rise when unseen hands push you deeper into the abyss.

And on these days, Seungmin becomes your anchor. He buys your favorite food, skips classes with you, and takes you to your favorite gardens. He talks and he talks and you try your best to laugh because you do not wish to worry him more. It is enough to be your own burden, you do not wish to burden him too.

But when he drops you home, your facade slips away, the smile fading from your face as if it were never truly yours to wear. You are too tired to pretend so you don’t, and Hyunjin doesn’t let you, either. He brews you tea and orders takeout because he knows you lack the energy for cooking. He goes with you on walks and drapes you in pieces of his clothing— scarves and beanies and gloves because he knows you couldn’t care less about a cold when there is a frost coating your bones. He lets you sit in his room while he works on his songs, and while he paints. Sometimes you talk and often you don't need to. But he’s there. He's there with you.

But you also remember the good. You remember your movie night with the boys, Hyunjin building an entire fort for you, adorned with twinkling lights and the softest blankets. How you watched movies until 5 a.m. your bodies so closely huddled together that there was no room left for sadness.

You recall Hyunjin begging you to build a snowman with him at the crack of dawn, the two of you collapsing in fits of laughter as you threw snowballs at one another, your footsteps marking the fresh fallen snow.

You remember being so exhausted after one of your showers that you simply laid atop the couch, gaze fixed on the void, too drained to even untangle the knots in your hair. Yet, it is not the tiredness that you exactly recall, nor the salty tears you shed underneath the scorching water jet. But it is Hyunjin's tender hands as he brushed through your hair, his fingers tracing the nape of your neck, his knuckles ghosting over the slate of your shoulder. You remember whispering that it was a particularly hard day and Hyunjin understanding. You remember him watching many YouTube tutorials to prepare your favorite seaweed soup, only for it to end up being too salty. But you still ate it all, because he made it for you, to lift your wounded spirits. And that alone was enough for it to taste good.

You remember your heart hardening then softening again, breaking then stitching itself back together, closing off then blooming like flowers on the first day of spring. You remember smiling only to cry then smile again. And you remember liking snow, a bit more than you thought you would. Because Hyunjin was there, holding your trembling hand, steadying it enough for you to rewrite your memories with winter.

So, you want to say thank you.

You do not wish to spell it out, because there are too many things to thank Hyunjin for and too few words to do so. Instead, you drag him to the farmer’s market near your home, and you tell him to help you pick flowers.

“I could be in bed watching my favorite show and yet here I am bestowing you with my enchanting presence,” he sighs, not too modestly, as you both eye the array of colorful blooms.

“Okay, Shakespeare, are you done?” you roll your eyes, attempting your best to hide your grin.

“Done annoying you? Never. These are very pretty,” he adds, pointing to the white roses in full bloom, their delicate petals emitting a sweet fragrance into the air.

“I agree, what else should we add?” you ponder, picking out four roses.

“Mm, Hibiscus? The red in the center is so vibrant,” he suggests, taking out his phone to capture the flower.

“Cute. Baby breath’s would look good too,” you say as you gather the flowers, heading to the cashier with Hyunjin trailing behind, still admiring the delicate blooms.

“Can I write a note?” you ask the middle-aged man as he wraps the bouquet in a powder blue paper.

“Sure,” he replies with a smile, and you return the gesture, quickly jotting down your words.

“Are you done?” Hyunjin grins when you return to his side and you nod, exiting the flower shop.

“What do you think?” you ask, angling the bouquet towards him.

“It's beautiful.”

“It’s yours,” you smile, growing shier at the intensity of his gaze as it lands on you, then the flowers, then on you again. “Take it,” you hand it to him, your cheeks flushing like the hibiscus’s crimson core.

“Actually?” he says softly, his fingers trembling slightly as he accepts the flowers and you nod in response. You bite your lip as you watch him take out the note, his eyes softening once he reads the words inscribed in it— thank you for making my winter less cold.

“Should we go?” you say a tad too cheerfully, turning away, but Hyunjin grabs your wrist, spinning you around once more. His fingers trail up your arm, coming to rest gently on your cheek as he leans down to plant a tender kiss there.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, his lips lingering against your skin for a moment longer than necessary. You think that if his soft lips grace your skin a few times more, your nerve endings might forget the harshness they were subjected to. If his gentle hands remain on your cheeks, then maybe, your heart would heal quicker, better. Maybe your past self that you long for would emerge again, maybe Hyunjin would be able to unearth it.

Your hopeful thoughts disappear as quickly as they arrive, overshadowed by a sense of helplessness that crashes over you, all of the sudden. You sense him before you hear him, the familiar anxiety that is only synonymous with your ex’s presence.

“Yn?” the sound of your name feels harsher in his mouth, the syllables spat out rather than spoken tenderly, as they are when Hyunjin pronounces it. Your veins run cold as his voice pierces the air, your heart skipping three beats at once before plummeting to your knees. You wrap your hand around Hyunjin’s forearm instinctively, and he looks down at you, his expression morphing into one of concern.

You’re unsure of what he sees in you— whether it is your pale face, the quiver of your lower lip, or the fear that has coated all your features— but his eyes harden, his brows furrowing as he gazes at the man behind you.

You refuse to turn around, bracing yourself for his next words. “Yn,” he repeats his tone laced with anger, his fingertips grazing your arm as if intending to force you to face him. But before he can touch you, Hyunjin intervenes, swiftly stepping in between you and your ex, shielding you with his own body protectively.

“Leave,” Hyunjin's voice is cold, dripping with a venomous edge you've never heard from him before, his jaw clenching with barely contained fury.

“Is this your new shiny toy, Yn?” your ex taunts and his voice cuts through your being against your will, triggering a flood of memories you've tried so desperately to suppress. Memories of his cruelty, his manipulation, and the pain he inflicted upon you—using your love as a weapon to bolster his own ego.

“What's in it for you?” you find your voice again, though it trembles when you speak. He is the very embodiment of your pain and everything you loathe about yourself. You wish for the ground to swallow you whole, for a bolt of lightning to strike the earth, anything to spare you from facing him.

“It's only been three months, I didn't know you were a whore.”

Hyunjin's fist connects with his cheek before you can register his words. It all unfolds so rapidly that you barely have time to comprehend it. Your ex staggers back, blood trickling from the cut on his lip, while Hyunjin stands before you, his chest heaving with restrained anger, his right hand clenched into a fist, the bouquet still held tightly in the other.

“Fine, I deserved it,” your ex chuckles, his voice laced with mockery as he wipes the blood from his lip. His gaze meets yours briefly behind Hyunjin's back.

“You might not be a whore but you are unlovable, keep that in mind.” He spits out before walking away, crude words that tear at every scab covering your wounds, reopening them with a brutal force. Hyunjin moves to follow him, but you grab his shirt, pulling him back.

“He’s not worth it,” you murmur.

Your words seem to snap Hyunjin out of his haze as he turns to look at you, worry cast across his figure. He moves to cradle your cheeks but you step back, refusing to meet his eyes. He swallows thickly, clutching the bouquet in his hands. “Are you okay?”

You let out a heavy sigh, your shoulders slumping as you shake your head slightly. “Let's just go home,” you whisper, eyes fleeting to his for a split second. All the lights in your gaze are muted.

You’re crumbling before him once again and he cannot stop it, no matter how much he yearns to.

It's long past midnight when you find yourself seated on the floor of your living room, a bottle of red wine placed between you and Hyunjin. You exchange it wordlessly, taking turns sipping from it, the alcohol warming your insides but doing little to ease the ache in your heart. You don’t exactly recall when Hyunjin sat next to you, but you don’t mind. You were too lost in your own thoughts to even register his presence.

“Yn,” he calls out softly and you hum absentmindedly, memories of when your ex spoke your name haunting you, each time he yelled your name, uttered it in disdain as if it was the starting point of everything wrong with you.

“Talk to me, please?” he pleads, angling his body towards your own. But you refuse to meet his eyes and Hyunjin’s heart twists in his chest. He is afraid of all the ugly thoughts that must roam your mind. He wishes he could enter it, open the windows wide, and usher the light in.

“I'm sorry you were dragged into this,” you say, your gaze fixated on the bouquet placed atop the table. The crimson painted on the hibiscus’ petals reminds you of the blood that spilled from your ex’s mouth, and your gaze fleets to Hyunjin's hand, slightly bruised from the punch.

“Don’t apologize,” he whispers, “there is nothing to be sorry for.”

It’s as though you don’t hear him, your fingers trailing gently across his scraped knuckles, tears pooling in your eyes the more you stare at his hand.

“Does it hurt?” you ask, voice thick with emotion, and Hyunjin’s quick to shake his head. “No, don’t worry about it. He deserved it.”

“You didn’t deserve to be hurt.”

“Neither did you.”

Your disbelieving scoff that follows scares him. What if you’re slipping away into a dark place yet again, one void and barricaded, in which the only sound that echoes is your ex’s hurtful words? What if he can’t reach you again?

“If the only person I’ve ever loved says I’m unlovable then maybe I am.”

You’re drunk, you wouldn’t have said such an ugly thing otherwise, wouldn’t have allowed this sentiment to materialize into the air, to take a tangible form apart from your abstract thoughts.

“No,” Hyunjin says in a panic as though he’s trying to quickly pull the brakes on your free-railing thoughts. He cups your face between his palms, your tears falling freely atop his hands but he does not move away.

“No,” he repeats, more calmly this time. “How he treated you is a reflection of who he is. And how you see him is a reflection of who you are. And you wanted him to be loving because you’re full of love. You wanted him to be good because you are a good person. And he can’t stomach that, can’t stomach that you are happy without him so he’s trying to ruin you again.”

“Hyunjin…” you shake your head but he only inches closer to you, his thumbs gently caressing your cheekbones. “No, listen to me. Seungmin loves you so much he couldn’t eat properly for the first few days you stayed here, texted me all the time asking me how you were and if you were feeling better. He isn't good with words so instead he tries to make you laugh. He wishes he could give up parts of his happiness for you.”

A sob swells within you but Hyunjin presses on. “And Minho, he tried to memorize all your favorite recipes so he could cook them for you. It isn’t a coincidence that every time we go over to their dorm it is your favorite food that we eat. He takes more pictures of his cats these days so he could send them to you because he knows it cheers you up.”

“You told me Changbin doesn’t know you well enough to fight for you but when we saw your ex across the campus one day he wanted to get up and beat him. He always asks me if you are well and if there is something he can do for you, anything.”

He inhales deeply, tears welling up in his eyes as well. “And me…” a tender smile graces his lips as he gazes at you, “you make this house a home. I feel like my true self when you are around and loneliness doesn’t come to me as often as it did. Because you are here. You are like a beam of sunlight that lightens up every life you touch, mine first,” he’s baring his soul to you, vulnerable yet resolute. “So tell me, Yn, what’s not to love in you when you yourself are so full of love?”

“Hyune,” you speak the nickname for the first time, and Hyunjin’s heart thrashes achingly around his ribcage. “If you keep talking like this I might end up loving you,” you smile sadly at him as if it is a terrible thing to be loved by you.

“But I don’t want to love you, because I won’t know how to, not anymore. So I'll end up leaving. And I'll long for you, and I don't think I can stomach longing for you from afar.”

“So please,” you place one hand atop his own, wipe away the lone tear rolling down his cheek. “Don’t make me love you, hm? You deserve more than to be loved by someone like me.”

You leave Hyunjin in the living room, alone before the white flowers you gifted him. He doesn’t want to put them away in a vase, for as soon as he grabbed them from your hold, everything around you both crumbled. So he leaves them there for the night, the creamy white petals aglow underneath the moonlight. He spends the night painting the bouquet from memory, but the petals end up too tinged with red, perhaps mirroring the blood his heart refuses to stop spilling still.

He did not realize it before, maybe he blinded himself so he wouldn’t see what was before him all along. But it is all the clearer to him now— that in his attempts to make you love winter again, Hyunjin only ended up loving you.

A week later.

hyune [1:25 a.m.]: i miss you

You and Hyunjin spent the last seven days avoiding one another, well you more than him. He just understood your silent plea when you took a step back the one time he tried to talk to you in the kitchen, swallowing thickly before inching away, allowing you to move past him.

You did not know how to face him after what he said, partly because you were embarrassed by your own response, mostly because even in your drunken daze, his words etched themselves permanently into your memory.

It is his reassuring words that echoed in your brain for the past week, not those of your ex.

hyune [1: 26 a.m.]: and i miss sleeping on the couch

You giggle, shaking your head before replying.

yn [1:26 a.m.]: no you don’t

hyune [1:26 a.m.]: no i don’t ㅠㅠ

but i finished the song

wanna hear?

Walking to Hyunjin’s room feels as familiar as going into your own. And when your gaze finally meets his you can’t help but break into a relieved smile. It was foolish of you to punish yourself, enough people have done that for you already.

“Hey,” he greets tentatively, and you respond with an awkward wave, a moment pregnant with anticipation passes before both of you dissolve into laughter.

“What is this? Are we in middle school,” he teases and you giggle, settling comfortably on his bed once more.

“I know. We are so lame.”

“You are,” he corrects with a grin and you gasp, pretending to leave but he quickly catches your hand, stopping you. “No, please stay. I meant it when I said that I missed you,” he repeats quietly, as if afraid that his confession would make you run away once again.

Your heart aches, the knots in your stomach tightening and unraveling all at once. “I missed you too,” you admit softly, and he smiles, his thumb tracing a gentle path above your pulse before releasing your hand.

“So it's done then?” you ask and he nods, running a hand through his hair with a hint of anxiety. “How do you feel about it?”

“Good. I hope you’ll like it, mostly.”

“I'm sure I will,” you reassure him with a soft smile, and he nods once more, pressing a few buttons before his melodious whistles fill the air once again.

Nothing could have braced you for the sound of Hyunjin's voice that followed, its timbre soft as silk yet imbued with profound sorrow. It's as though he recorded the song on one of his loneliest nights, his honeyed vocals dipped in an excruciating nostalgia that seeps into every corner of the room, every corner of your heart.

In the faded photo, I come across a smile spread across a youthful face, overlapped with the seasons.

Your gaze flickers to Hyunjin as a shadow of recollection dawns on you. You remember telling him that you couldn’t stomach looking at pics of your past, ones in which you smiled so freely because you were blissfully unaware of what was to come.

The night’s so cold that it’s almost unreal.

Because you weren’t aware of the winter that will follow and the biting cold that it would bear, for everything that will go astray in your relationship, for your ex's facade to crack like a glacier succumbing to the pressure of lies and pretense.

I wake up in another silence, and I close my eyes.

You remember Hyunjin confessing that silence haunted him more than words ever could, and you had agreed, sharing how sometimes you shut your eyes, pretending that the reality you woke up to wasn't the one you were living.

The white flower we planted together has bloomed. I do not dare pick it. Now it withers away.

You gaze at the white flowers you brought him, now wilted in the vase placed on his desk, yet Hyunjin refuses to throw them still. You see the card you wrote for him hung on the wall, right next to the dried red rose. He kept it. Though it withered, he kept it all.

So I long for you. And I long for you. And I'll long for you.

You remember the longing you both spoke of, how he understood a feeling you felt so incredibly alone in. How he tried to reassure you when he too was caught in the webs of the past. How you longed for him in the past week. How you wished he longed for you just the same.

So I can keep loving you. So I could be loving you. And morе.

The violin swells and so does the emotion in your chest. You remember him asking you ‘What’s not to love in you’ and how you've spun those words in your thoughts ever since. You remember thinking that if he gave you a few more weeks, just a bit more time, you might have found it in you to believe them.

You see Hyunjin’s glimmering eyes holding yours, you see his heart atop a platter handed to you, and you see the resignation in his being. Don’t make me love you, you told him. You didn’t dare to tell him not to love you in return, deemed it too foolish of thought to entertain.

For he was Hwang Hyunjin, the quiet producer who paints in his free time and who wears his heart on his sleeve. Who remains hopeful, loving, and tender, despite the thorns pricking at his side. Who is beautiful, so much so that he allowed you to see beauty in the universe once again, through his eyes.

How could he love you?

How could you not love him?

“The song,” you whisper, the words barely escaping your lips as you stand, trembling, on your feet. Hyunjin rises too, meeting you in the center of his room.

“It is about you. For you,” he says simply as if his words don’t cause your world to burst at the seams only to mend itself once again, too eager to fix itself and exist in the same timeline as Hyunjin.

“I don't… I don’t know what to say,” you say earnestly, feeling your heart pound in your chest, its beats resounding loudly in your ears.

It is wrong of you to assume he wishes you to say something. He is Hyunjin, the one who finds words in your silences too, after all.

“I don’t need you to say anything,” he shakes his head, taking another step closer to you. “I don't want an answer, I don't wish to pressure you. I just wanted to tell you that my love is here, it is yours to take or to leave, to cherish or to discard. But it is yours, because this is who I am. I am someone who loves you.”

“So do not tell me to forget you because I don't know how to. And don’t tell me that you’ll leave because I will love you still, because you’d still be you, near or far, you are you. And you are someone I long for.” He pauses, his voice softening. “And I long for you, Yn, more than anything I've ever longed for. And I've spent all my life longing.”

His lips meet your forehead tenderly, and you feel your entire being grow limp at the chaste kiss, as if your limbs wish to liquefy and form a puddle on the floor. His touch is soft, and you miss it the moment he parts from you.

“There must be something in this room that keeps on making you cry,” he smiles and you bring your hands to your damp cheeks, surprised to find there tears you didn’t realize had fallen.

“It’s you,” you pinch his arm playfully and he squirms away from your hold, stabbing his toe on the desk in the process. A loud fuck echoes around the room, and your laughter dissipates the tension clinging into the air.

“Can you play it again?” you request softly and Hyunjin’s theatrics fade as a shy smile tugs at the corner of his lips.

“Is it good?”

“It's everything to me.”

“It's called ‘long for you’, by the way.”

“Long for you,” you repeat quietly. There has never been a prettier combination of words.

The title all but makes sense as you lay on the bed, your gaze fixed on the paintings hung on the wall, Hyunjin sketching quietly on his desk, the song resonating softly in the background. You've longed for many things in your life—the person you once were and the tender love you once craved—but amidst it all, nothing has weighed heavier on your heart than the longing for the man sitting just two meters away, almost in your loving grasp. Almost.

❁ ❁ ❁

It is an excruciating five days that Hyunjin spends apart from you, the both of you too caught up in your assignments to find a moment to properly speak. But you do not shy away from him when he greets you, and your grin is kind as it drapes across his being, and Hyunjin swears he has never seen a prettier sight than you smiling.

On the sixth night, Hyunjin completes the cover for the song— a figure wrapped around itself protectively, mirroring the way you hug yourself in your sleep. He hangs it on the wall, right next to your thank you card and the white bouquet he drew once again, wishing to properly immortalize its beautiful flowers, to purify that memory from the tumult that followed it.

On the sixth night, the house is quiet, the full moon high up in the sky, snowflakes falling softly to the ground. Hyunjin wonders if you too mimicked the snow’s descent— both of you falling apart with it.

But then, there’s a knock on his door.

His heart catches in his throat, his body freezing as if it forgot how to move. You are here.

“Come in,” he manages to say, his voice barely above a whisper. You push the door open, and Hyunjin's words wilt on his tongue as he sees what you're carrying—another bouquet, filled with white flowers, yet again.

“Hey,” you smile, standing by the door.

He remains silent, unsure of what to say, or how to speak. He longs for you when you are away, even more so when you’re before him.

“We shouldn't let these white flowers wither away too, right?” you smile slightly, placing the bouquet on the desk before walking to Hyunjin’s bedside. His voice falters, vocal cords refusing to move and overshadow your voice.

You sit beside him, gently pulling his hand so that you’d both lie on the pillows. Your hand doesn’t leave his own, instead, it moves to rest on his cheek, reminiscent of the many times he had cradled your face before. Inch by inch, you close the gap between you, nuzzle the tip of your nose against his own. “Hi, Hyune”, you say softly, and he swallows thickly, his voice coming out just as quietly.

“Hi, my Yn.”

“If we take care of the white flowers together do you think they’ll survive a bit longer?” you ask, your gaze never wavering from his, countless stars twinkling in the depths of your irises.

“I believe so,” he says tentatively, too aware of the warmth of your palm against his skin, of the sweet ache unfurling within his being.

“Mm, and even if they wilt we can always buy new ones. We can learn how to care for them better, with time,” you say, and he nods in agreement, laying his hand atop your own, tilting his head to bestow a chaste kiss on your palm.

“With time,” he echoes softly and you smile, vulnerable yet secure in his gray sheets, in his hold.

“Will you give me time too?” you ask, and Hyunjin reads in your eyes what you mean, understands in the shake of your voice the question you are too afraid to voice. Will he give you time to heal in order to love?

“As long as you need. I’m not going anywhere,” he reassures, pressing his forehead gently atop yours, and you both close your eyes, as a running warmth encloses you both, blooms a blush on both your cheeks.

His arms wrap around your back, drawing you close until your chests are pressed together, your head resting naturally in the curve of his neck. And it is long forgotten in your mind, all the nights you slept in this very bed alone. You feel safe, safe enough to long for love knowing that it patiently awaits you behind the door, once you find enough courage to turn the doorknob. You feel serene, as Hyunjin’s warm palms glide soothingly up and down your spine, as every muscle, every nerve, every atom in your being relaxes in his hold.

You are healing, slowly, with each fleeting second that passes in which Hyunjin’s heartbeat resounds within your chest, as its melody runs through your veins, melds with your own as if it was destined to be there all along. As you rest in Hyunjin, as you find a safe home within his soul to discard your worries at the doorstep and breathe.

“It did get better,” you whisper, pressing a kiss to his shoulder blade. “Hm?” He leans back to look at you, and he’s so beautiful, so tender as he gazes at you, you can’t help but trace the contours of his face with your fingers, hoping to commemorate him with your eyes, with your touch.

“You promised me it’ll get better, and it did,” you smile, as your legs further intertwine with his, and his rose perfume becomes an indelible mark on your skin. “Too bad I can't hit your pretty face now,” you joke and he giggles, tipping his head back.

He's so beautiful, body and soul, and he longs for you, you alone.

“But I can still do this,” you murmur before finally pressing your lips against his like a boat finally reaching the shore after months of sailing. You both exhale, in yearning, in relief, as your mouths move together in a slow, languid dance, his hand finding the pulse on your neck, yours settling atop his jaw.

He would kiss you again, this intimately, in the coming months, when your heart expands enough to contain the love Hyunjin deserves. He would kiss you again, when your past comes to haunt you, and healing sounds like an elusive myth you’d never encounter in your life.

And he would kiss you again, over the kitchen table and under the fridge’s light, in between paintings and in supermarket aisles, while picking flowers and watching the first snow.

He would kiss you, this tenderly, in the next winter, and the ones after it, as if his longing for you never wanes. Till blow three disappears from your memory, till all you remember is the love, the true one, the kind one, the soft one Hyunjin alone could have brought you.

[just-some-random-blogger]

greetings mother 🙇‍♀️

tis i, your sleepless child. sending you a message from the kingdom of middle day (omg what a surprise im not losing sleep). i hope you are doing well and have been taking your needed and deserved breaks once in a while. i too have taken a break from tumblr (honestly it was just like a few hours 😂). i would like to thank you for continuously blessing my feed with your wondrous, and honestly really funny, posts. during my time away, i have promised myself to read your whole masterlist during my free time, so wish me luck 😝 shall i succeed, i will tell you how long it took. unfortunately, i have also recently acquired an inevitable addiction to an app with that of the noise of a clock, which combined with tumblr is just a deadly combination (the edits of men and women i am absolutely infatuated with just doubled the knee weakening, jaw dropping, pool forming effects ya know). tis a must that i inform my virtual maternal figure of such lows in life 😂 i might request a few tiktok inspired and hyperlinked scenarios just cuz you have turned my Dream ask/request from before into one of my absolute favorite fics and now im hooked 🥴 worry not tho as i am aware that you have been swamped with requests so i shall beg for "mother's holy literature" another time. there is no doubt that i will venture once more into the dark depths of no sleep. til then, i shall stay here and watch you (your posts and reblogs) as if it is the light of day that i have truly missed multiple times. May the celestial beings above continue to bless you. yours truly, 4am nonnie 💌 (at this point you can name me however you like 😂)

p.s. DONT FORGET TO DRINK YO WATER MAMA TIS VERY IMPORTANT U STAY HYDRATED

hello my child 😌 HIHIHI HI 4AM NONNIE ITS BEEN A WHILE

i shall grant you a love letter in response for your sweet words

im so happy you cam to me in the right hours of day <3 #proudofyou i actually read this last night right when you sent it and was grinning like a fool <3 <3 i decided to reply the next day because i would have tread into the late hours™ and that would not have been very responsible and quite hypocritical of me.

I am doing well! i have no classes today so (: im excited to go to school tomorrow and be hot <3 HAHAH

its good you're taking a break from tumblr, and I am honored that my posts are funny to you. also reading MY WHOLE MASTERLIST???

aint no way 🙄 i call cap. i call sus. i call bull. i'm flattered, but aint no way you like every SINGLE thing in my masterlist. (but omg if you do ???? Slay???? how is that possible ???) i hope it doesnt feel like a chore though T_T i write because i want to entertain myself/silence my fixation demons lol so dont read anything you dont want to HAAHH

the fact you traded tumblr for tiktok 💀🤡 i personally find tiktok more T_T stressful so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ im honestly glad im free from the shackles. dont get me wrong i still go on it, but im not addicted like before.

(the edits of men and women i am absolutely infatuated with just doubled the knee weakening, jaw dropping, pool forming effects ya know)

^^^^ this this is why im there too. so real so true so relatable. i swear some edits are even better than the actual media T_T

i am honored to hear about the things you go through my child [strokes head]

feel free to request anything but as you are aware i have 9999 reqs i must attend to first hahaha. i have been thinking of closing my reqs but ???? i mean everyones aware of the waitlist ig AHHAHAH and i love hearing from everyone so 😣😣😣 im a sucker for inboxes and pain ig

i shall beg for "mother's holy literature" another time.

there is no doubt that i will venture once more into the dark depths of no sleep. til then, i shall stay here and watch you (your posts and reblogs) as if it is the light of day that i have truly missed multiple times.

HAHHAHAHAHAH MY LOVE MY DEAR MY BABY THIS IS SO FUNNY AHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHH i hope you refrain from lurking at such times, but alas, a mother can only do so much from withholding her rowdy children. I am so T_T touched T_T that I appear as a light to you T_T am i??? the light and the salt of the world? am i??? better than everyone else???

Thank you my 4am nonnie. i have no idea what else to call you so let's keep that. may the lord bless you and keep you as well <3 [exploding with love and happiness]

I DONT FORGET TO DRINK MY WATER YOU BETTER NOT FORGET TO SLEEP RIGHT EAT YOUR GREENS AND EXERCISE 👿👿👿👿

(i am off to exercise rn bye <3)

xxx

[chelleztjs18]

Hello you mrs. honey nut cheerio lefty eyebag 😌

Ah I see, so you drink iced tea with no sweetener at all? Is it like the ones people make from the packets and just let it cool down and add ice?

It feels like I haven't read anything from you in awhile lol but I am excited to see how you end it in the part 4. How many requests do you have?

So I youtubed that ride, and yup that's a no for me 🤣 the view would be pretty but a lot of bad things can go wrong... like what if water starts coming in, or the engine stops and you're stuck underwater. Also yeah, it looks like a pack of sardines in there.. I would not be comfortable sitting with a bunch of other people. What if someone farted or has bad BO 😩

No I haven't really taken anything for the headache. I figured it will just go away. It may be because of too much screen time, since I have been playing on the switch non stop.

Definitely was difficult to keep friends since we moved almost every 2 years. I am glad we permanently stayed in GA but then it was my last 2 years of highschool at that time.

Dang you a shorty hahahaha if your daughter got his height, she's going to be taller than you once she hits puberty 😂 but that's funny because my dad was 6 ft and my mom is about 5'3ish. So I got my dad's height but my mom's features.

Hm I don't think I have any. I'm drawing blank about my life lol my memory is going bad.

I'm running out of questions m'lady! Do you have any?

- CuriousGeorge

Hi corn-punn!

Yeah, i drink unsweetened tea. Sometime i make my own with my ice tea maker (so u put ice in the jug n the machine will brew it n voila u'll get iced tea 😆) but sometiems i buy it at certain fast food place. One thing i love moving to the south is you can always get good ice tea everywhere u go. I love iced tea so much. When i visited cali, not many places serve good ice tea, n they r not consistent with it. N south sweet tea is so much different n better.

Haha really? It has been that long i havent posted anything? I was in the middle putting it together in tumblr but em woke up crying n i had to stay with her in her room until this second. Haha.

Hmm i forgot how many request 😅 i think between 9 or 10? I will check it later n let u know. Haha. Im so tempted to make an event for valentine but im sure i will not be able to get it done. So i might not do it n write the fluff request n gather them together in valentine masterlist.

Remember the fic series idea for valentine i mentioned before? I didnt even got the chance to write it at all..

Seeee! I told u that ride is the worst.😅 ohgosh i cant even imagine if someone fart or have BO in it..🤢

Oh geez. No wonder u have headache. U played too much on the screen. R u that type of that girl who had to be keep reminded by her partner to not play too much because of the headache? 🤭😆😅

Wow moved every 2years.. yikes.. it sucks..especially to adapt.

Me shorty? Heeeyy.. becareful with short people though. They r full of surprises.hahaha. n can be mean if needed.😅🤣

How tall r u by the way? I forgot.hahaha.

Hmm is ther any food u have tried n u wont eat it ever again? Also have u tried balut??

Cheerio!

[huntertherapyeras]

I would LOVE to hear about your post amphibia headcanons!!!! What are your thoughts??

hiii moth 💜 hiiiii tumblr mutual/friend @colordesign (referring to u by url bc idk if u want ur name out there 💜) ok so i am having a big adhd moment and keep getting distracted from answering this ask but im just gonna do it!!! bc i really wanna talk about my hcs!!!! this is gonna be so long sorry in advance!!

ok so for my first hc its about the calamity trio as a whole post amphibia... i desperately dont want marcy to have to move away from all of her friends after this (i think that would break my heart) so in my brain they end up staying with anne while their parents move wherever they want. is it realistic? no, but it feels good to me so imma stick with it. sasha stays over all the fucking time too but he still has to stay with her parents for Custody/Visitation reasons sometimes x.x she HATES it but such is life...

they eventually move into an apartment together after high school. sasha teaches martial arts or fencing or smth similar, anne works part time at thai go and maybe gets a degree in film??? (i know she isnt a school enjoyer but she just loves film and tv so much thats the only thing i can imagine her going to college for!) marcy spends a lot of time during college exploring various majors and ends up getting a few different degrees - probably one in like, environmental biology and one in anthropology at least! (these hcs arent set in stone, im mostly just thinking aloud for these ones...)

oh and during high school they visit amphibia on the weekends. afterwards? its different times but they still visit a lot!!!!

and theyre dating ofc 💜 all three of them 😌 polyam icons

onto personal hcs which ARE more set in stone for me:

sasha ends up coming out as bigender in high school. he uses she/he alternating pronouns! she is a lot less like, fake post amphibia because after being there so long he realizes that its just a behavior that he was using to protect himself and that it really wasnt even working bc it drove anne away and attracted people she didn't really want to interact with esp after everything. but another thing that complicates this is that i ascribe to the hc that sasha comes out of amphibia with a facial difference, which tends to kind of also make Fake people less likely to want to interact bc yknow. theyre superficial.

so i really like the idea that sasha ends up blind in one eye with a large scar over it. i also love the idea of him being deaf in one ear too!!!! though i haven't worked out the mechanics of how both his eye AND ear could be affected in my hc.

tl;dr post amphibia sasha is a lot more genuine, much more obviously angry and kind of blunt, and fiercely protective over the people that he loves. this isnt to say that he can't still act super phoney, because it was second nature to her for a long time so ofc he would slip back into it unintentionally sometimes. but she genuinely wants to be better and do better!!!

oh and wrt brain stuff sasha definitely has bpd (that started developing pre-approval) and ptsd (from after amphibia). he struggles a lot with hypervigilance and mood swings and he's really really sensitive to Percieved rejection and abandonment >:3 oh and my boy is defs dyslexic i dont make da rules 💕

ok so onto anne. i hc her as a trans lesbian! and this hc is soooo important to me 💜 in my brain sasha and marcy already knew that she's trans though since theyve been friends so long, but she doesnt come out as a lesbian until later on, like probably high school? i know a lot of people are really into the hc where she loses an arm and i am all for limb difference anne BUT im personally really attached to her keeping her arm but having lasting nerve damage and arthritis from her breaking it in season one because i have the same issue and yall know i love to project

i hc that post amphibia anne is a bit less easy going than before. she tries to be chill but she has a lot of lasting anger and resentment and it makes things hard for her! she'll never be the same doormat she was before amphibia, and thats ok! shes a lot better at standing up for herself and the people she cares about, which is a positive change!

wrt brain stuff anne has always had adhd and probably dyscalculia too? but after amphibia she also deals with ptsd (they all do). she struggles with hypervigilance, though to less of a degree than sasha does, and feelings of helplessness are a huge trigger for her. the events of true colors are what she most commonly has flashbacks about, and for a long time after she struggles with the scent of cooked meat especially, leading her to a life of mostly vegetarianism. its hard :(

MARCY TIME MARCY TIME MARCY TIME!!!

marcy is heavily affected by their time in amphibia. before being betrayed by andrias, being in amphibia actually helped her confidence a lot! being applauded for what they're good at was really good for them, especially since despite their good grades and talents they didn't actually like... get a lot of praise for it? but what andrias did to her was really really damaging and changed them a lot. :( it takes them a long time to get their 'spark' back. but they never lose their curiosity despite the trauma and still love themself a good fantasy even if they have more triggers than before and sometimes stuff hits a bit harder than they expect

in high school they come out as nonbinary, i hc them as agender? and use they/she pronouns!!!! i think they prefer they but theyre ok with she as well (they really like it when people alternate though)! she's a lesbian too, like sasha and anne! oh and maybe later on they experiment with they/he pronouns too!!! still stewing on that :3

in my hc part of the reason why theyre really clumsy (aside from inattentiveness) is because they have autism associated dyspraxia and hypermobility! its hard to know where u are in space when your joints just naturally go out of the "typical" range of motion (talking from experience). after amphibia they try to be a lot more aware of their surroundings but she tends to dissociate a lot so that does Not help the clumsiness at all

as a result of their injury (all my homies hate andrias) they have a spinal injury between t4 and t6. because of the healing pod, the spinal injury not complete, so marcy still does have some function in her limbs, but they experience a lot of numbness and tingling and sometimes their legs just. stop working. this leads to them being able to walk or even run (if necessary) short distances, but they get tired super easily and have a lot more balance with forearm crutches. they used a rollator for awhile, but that left them stranded a lot so then she transitioned to a manual wheelchair. but because the spinal injury affects their upper body as well, it isn't always possible for them to self propel. they eventually started using a power wheelchair for longer distances like if they want to go for a walk with anne and sasha etc etc etc. the power wheelchair gives them a lot of independence back that they weren't sure they were ever gonna have again so marcy is super grateful for it!

content warning for weight and disordered eating

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right after their possession marcy was pretty emaciated because the core just saw no point in eating even the bare minimum. so when marcy got thru refeeding and stuff they gained a significant amount of weight very quickly. they're proud of the progress that they've made though and are working on their body image (the weight doesn't bother her, but the scars are pretty upsetting for them to look at every day bc of the trauma). fat marcy rights!!!!!

my marcy is ofc autistic and adhd. they also dealt with heavy dissociation even before the trauma in the form of maladaptive daydreaming! it definitely got worse after everything. :( marcy has pretty bad ptsd from it all but they're getting better every day and having anne and sasha around to remind her of her worth is really helpful!

they love each other so much and while they all have their issues they really are happy together and that's what matters 🥺

[teddybeartoji]

i wet the end of my quill on my tongue and proceed to tip it into the teeny tiny jar of ink beside me, my hand hovers the precious piece of paper and the words flow effortlessly -- LO AND BEHOLD IT IS I, YOUR FELLOW SOLDIER FROM THE GREAT SUPER GOOD WAR! I HOPE THIS LETTER FIND YOU WELL MWAH MWAH MWAH

no but that's so funny though that made me giggle bUT THIS IS THE WAY. THIS IS HOW IT SHOULD BE. REJECT IMMEDIATE SHORT ANSWERS ACCEPT LONG AWAITED LOVE LETTERS ABOUT ART ON TUMBLR WE SHALL BRING BACK THE FORGOTTEN LANGUAGE TRUSTTTT🫡🫡🫡

WE ARE CONNECTED!! IT'S CONFIRMED!! that's so cool that we kind of started at the same time wahhh btw can't miss out on my chance to praise you and your work so here i am!!! lately i've been thinking about your "call my name and i'll come running" it's so dear to my heart you don't even realize. i've always had problems with people not taking me seriously and gojo is 100000% the person to also not take a person seriously and it's soooooo frustrating and you just conveyed it so well i was so in it i loved reading it so so so much AND DAMN i remember when i read "i've always loved the way you eat" (i'm pretty sure this was the first thing of yours i ever read btw) I WAS SOBBBBINGG LET ME TELL YOU I LOVE SUGU AND THE WAY YOU WRITE HIM anyway yeah just reminding u how big of a fangirl i really am hehehehe

STOPPPPP ARI/MICKEY/SASHISU MOVIE NIGHTS STOPPPPP MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT it would be so funny i'd probably be pissing my pants i won't even lie.............................. so cute though i know sugu would get just a massive headache bc i'd start bickering with gojo (this would probably get physical and sugu would have to seperate us and sit between us even though he'd regret that immmmediately smh poor guy) and you're on the other side of the couch whisper-begging shoko to explain the movie to u lmaoooo what a happy family i'm so glad everybody is alive and safe and real yay

gojo's "i wouldn't have failed u like that"🤨🤨🤨he's so unserious but so fucking serious at the same time please make it make sense

on the topic of de!!!! i'm trying for a superstar cop run lmao it's very fun so far (very relatable)(i'm normal) BUT SKSASJFAJ i love harry's feminism arc bro "this stuff gets on my nerves. i am a feminist." okay bet "do you have a have a phallus in your ear? i said i'm a feminist." to which kim responds with "good." but the thing is i can't always tell if a person is being sarcastic or not so i'm just gonna take this as praise for the excellent comeback😌😌

VERY IMPORTANT!!! please please please no pressure on the movies or any other kind of recs!!!! i always say that when i talk about a movie i only want you to remember it to lock the name in the back of your head somewhere, i don't expect you to watch it bc you will do that when the time arrives, when you feel like it. i just wish that when one day you're picking out a movie and you see a familiar one you think oh! i know this one! they told me about it! that's all that's all i need<33

NOW FOR MY FAVOURITE LITTLE THING: THE SOUNDTRACKS

i'm very excited for you to listen to them (IN YOUR OWN TIME NO RUSH NO PRESSURE) these are some of the ones that have been living in my heart for years now and i think you'll like them too (I HOPE) also i wrote down whether i think you'd like the actual movie

the social network by trent reznor & atticus ross - hand covers bruise; soft trees break the fall; imo such a beautiful score and really compliments the movie (if u haven't seen it just trust me on this lmao) - 10/10 would recommend not scary just "gay" drama

potc: dead man's chest by hans zimmer - jack sparrow; the kraken, davy jones; dinner is served; tia dalma; wheel of fortune; IT'S SO FUN IT'S SO EXCITING IT'S PERFECT i might be a bit biased bc this is my childhood movie i actually might be jack sparrow but yk hans zimmer always pops off this man is insane (alsoalso also bc i'm talking about potc i do not support j***** d*** ok this is a woman loving household the pirate movies are the only ones i'm willing to watch) - 10/10 would recommend it's extremely fun and it has action and elizabeth swann (+ her dressing up as a man i know u understand what i'm talking about here) and it's so fucking funny

arrival by jóhann jóhannsson - arrival; heptapod b; transmutation at a distance; first encounter; hydraulic lift; braingasm total braingasm - 8/10 would recommend it can be a bit confusing and might require a second watch but it's just so cool and i'd rec it solely based on the sound design alone so yeah

hereditary by colin stetson - party, crash; séance sleepwalking; dreaming; get out; chasing peter; reborn; the first to are very similar but at the same time they're soooooo different ahhh it tingles my brain, i've been listening to this one a lot recently i just think it's great but overall this score is a crazy one maybe a bit intermediate level but idk let me know what you think - it's horror so 0/10 lmao you poor little scaredy cat u need shoko to hold your hand maybe then it would be like a 2/10

annihilation by ben salisbury & geoff barrow - ambulance chase; disoriented; sheppard; the bear; the alien; annihilation; SO INSANE I LOVE THIS MOVIE AND THE SCORE WHAT THE FUCKKKK i remember i when i watched the bear scene i had a palm over my mouth holding my breath bc it was so thrilling - 7/10 it's the visuals it's the mindfuckery it's the cool concept minus points for a few scary and gnarly scenes

movie recs for u and u only<333333333

teenage mutant ninja turtles: mutant mayhem (2023) - it's animation and fuck me it's soooo fucking sick i'm so glad i got to see it in the cinema

the fablemans (2022) - really fucking funny and well written me and my friend and then an elderly couple literally were dying of laughter in the cinema it was really cute

mission impossible: fallout (2018) - if u want to see more action films that aren't that gory and bloody this is the one!! it's very good i've seen it many times (also a banger soundtrack), the action is very well choreographed and it's always good to watch knowing that the actors genuinely put their effort into them (tom cruise does literally all of his stunts, in one of the scenes he actually breaks his ankle)

ocean's eleven (2001) - if u were to only watch one of the things from this list this should be it!!!!! omfg i think you'd really like this one i really do wtf i'm getting giddy just thinking about it

OKAY I'M SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG BUT AGAIN NO PRESSURE oh and my letterboxd is @/m2gicmike hehehehe come visit my other home

i put your recs on my list too i can't wait to check them out!!!! i've never been this enthusiastic to do homework wtf

PRINCE!GOJO AND KNIGHT!READER NATION LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOO i mean it when i say that i think about them daily, like i'm writing the three chapters at the same time bc i just cannot stop the thoughts SO FUN THOUGH btw btw btw btw i need ur advice!!! please!! i wanna write shoko into the universe too but i'm having a hard time figuring out her role.... i think i'd like her to be connected with the reader (maybe they were super close when they were little but then they got seperated, the reader had to move or smth) but i want to give her like a job too yk i don't think she'd work in the castle??? or maybe she would?? idk you are the shoko expert so plss lend me your brain

(the vampire!reader x dumb sweetie!gojo is insane i can't believe i just thought of that i'm very proud of myself ngl i like that concept a lot a lot AND AS ALWAYS I'M SO HAPPY YOU UNDERSTAND AND U LIKE IT EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE)

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ari<33 how was your day? how is it going? tell me tell me!! MY QUESTION IS what movies would be your movies with gojo n geto n shoko?? like something you're both always down to watch

i just thought about this bc i put jackass on for background noise (a totally normal thing to do i know) and i realized that jackass would absolutely be something me n gojo would bond over lmao i think he'd find it so funny and he'd react to everything sooo dramatically like he's crawling backwards over the couch he's gagging he's crying he's laughing and he will most definitely wanna fucking try some of the stunts............................ he's stupid and i love him

- @softgirlgonehaywire

MICKEY !!!!!!!! hihihi!!!!!!!!! so happy to see u here hehe. my day was good!!! 🌻🌻🌻 im trying to take advantage of my uni break to read and write a bunch!!! which is super fun :D i wanna check out more of ur stuff sometime soon too !!!!

what abt u mickey?? did u do anything fun??? i hope ur day was (or is!!) super duper lovely <33

AAAA AND. thats the cutest question ever im losing it im biting at the walls tysm for indulging my sashisu obsession….. this got long u have been warned ‼️

FIRST OF ALL i just wanna say i havent watched jackass so i cant comment as much as i want to 😔😔😔 bUT i trust u and agree w everything u say yep yep !!!! AND i 100% agree that gojo would do movie stunts w u THATS SO CUTE 😭😭 he would do the most complicated dangerous stunt just to impress u <333 and then break his ankle. and force u to nurse him back to health it was on purpose :/

ahhh but!!!! honestly mickey i dont watch as many movies as id like to……. (PLS GIVE ME RECS 🙏🙏🙏) i have some faves and genres that i love tho!! so here r just some general thoughts :3

gojo is canonically down to watch basically anything so i feel like we would hunt down the most awful/low quality/unintentionally hilarious movies we can n just lose it laughing. ALSO…. im not super into reality tv but i think gojo would LOVE that shit. obsessed w it. i would watch his silly little reality tv shows just to make him happy <333 i feel like he would have genuine beef w people on the show too PHDKDJD LIKE DAMN IS IT REALLY THAT SERIOUS… but it is. he’s out for blood.

….. also this is me being self indulgent lets be clear but: some part of me thinks gojo would love musicals <33 its the would-be theatre kid in him. i love and cherish the legally blonde musical and i know he would too. he sings along obnoxiously loud which would be super funny if he was tone deaf but sadly he has a beautiful voice LMAOO

NOW as for shoko …… she loves horror movies. loves them loves them. i think she’d actually prefer really bad horror movies though. bc she thinks the over-the-top effects are so funny… either way im suffering bc im a scaredy cat LOL. but i feel like she’d like that too <33 (i would cry and she would comfort me by explaining how splattered brains ACTUALLY look and that would make me cry more)

AH ALSO … i have literally no idea where this came from and its not a movie but!! i think shoko would be unreasonably obsessed w the office. its her hyperfixation. we would binge it together all the time <33 my favorite is michael but she would compare him to gojo (objectively correct comparison) and i would no longer be able to see him the same way

and then for sugu…….. he’s so pretentious mickey. i just know he is. ONLY watches good movies. if u ask nicely he’ll watch a bad movie w u but will silently judge it + ur taste the whole time i hate him. (i dont.) idk i just feel like he has way too much to say abt fight club and the godfather PSBDJBF TELL ME U SEE THE VISION…. will lowkey mainsplain them to u but its sugu so i think its fine <33

but jokes aside i think sugu just has Good taste. beyond the mainstream toxic man movies (and even w those i think he has genuinely good and interesting takes he’s simply Perfect)… i feel like he has a wide selection of lesser known movies that are actually really really good and he shares them w u <3 and gatekeeps them from everyone else im thinking like old monochrome french movies w really interesting plots …. indie gems …. etc etc.

but as i said im not knowledgeable abt movies at ALL so i think id just have to trust his taste n watch them w him 😭😭 i cant decide if he’s the type to pause the movie every two minutes to explain something or give u side eye if u talk while its playing PDBDJDJ EITHER WAY… i love him.

OH BUT BUT BUT …. i think sugu would love mystery movies a lot!!! and they r my favorites ever ever ever. i love knives out & the 2009 sherlock holmes movies so i would force him to watch them w me. thankfully theyre super good so we’d both be happy :) yeah.

if u pay attention while reading u can tell the exact moment i started getting carried away i think PDBDJD THIS WAS SUCH A GOOD QUESTION MICKEY ….. so fun to think abt. if u have any more thoughts on what u and gojo would watch PLS tell me i am itching to know 🙏🙏🙏🙏