#also him being there made me irritated so i was slightly rude to my grandma

[iicraft505]

someone kill me, just straight up put me down. my annoying former coworker returned as a volunteer and he annoys me under the best of circumstances but. literally I just said that I don't do dishes that often (meaning not often enough for it to have fucked up my name tag), and he was like "I think it's weird that you would admit to not doing your job" like bitch that's not what I fucking said but okay. And then I was like well I do them sometimes when it's needed and he was like "um..." in that "no you don't way" and said "there were a ton of dishes in the sink when I got here" yeah because I was fucking taking care of birds all day, dipshit! I was feeding our incubator birds every 30 minutes, I did literally all of our outdoor dishes (there was a mountain when I got in today!), I helped catch two very full adult bird outdoor flight cages for weighing and release, I went to release some hatchling turtles, and did all the other miscellaneous cleaning tasks that pile up when feeding hummingbirds. Sorry I didn't have a spare second to do the fucking inside dishes!

[kunrendeotaku]

Chapter 3

I don’t stop running until I can no longer see Echo Creek High, at which point I let out a relieved sigh. It's been a crazy day, and it's only a week into school-will the school even be there monday, or will it be burned down? I guess they have the whole weekend to do repairs, since it is Friday and all. Maybe I’ll get home and everything will have been a bad dream. I glance around my sleepy little town as I walk the most efficient route home, cursing my forgetfulness in leaving my shiny red baby (my bike) at school, as I’ll likely have to go back for it tomorrow if I want to keep to my usual school day schedule. Can’t get to school on time to nod to Jackie if I go on foot monday morning.

When my home comes into sight, I smile, ready to get off of my feet after this exhausting day. I step up to our house and look over it, painted in gorgeous oranges and reds. It's always been too big for us, having been bought by my grandma back in the day. She was expecting a big, big family to always be around, but after grandpa passed away she’s the one who moved out. Living the big life now, always traveling around, checking ticks off of her bucket list. We tend to fill up the space with exchange students, having one or more every year, to the point where the school system calls us first whenever someone needs a home.

That...gives me a bad feeling, and I quickly step inside the house and walk towards our living room, where I can hear laughing voices. Three. My fears are realized when I see who is sitting on the couch, between my parents-Star Butterfly herself. I freeze up, wide eyed, as my father begins laughing at something she’d said. “Oh, Star, you have such funny stories of your home! This ‘Mewni’ sounds like….a completely horrible place! I’d love to visit.” My father, Rafael, is about a foot taller than me and twice and wide, with a burly build. He’s also not the most socially adept, in spite of being the most caring guy I know. My mother, Angie, is eerily similar to him in personality. I’ve never seen two people so in tune with each other. She’s about my height, thin, but with almost as much brown hair as Star, all bundled up with a couple of scrunchies. “Rafael, honey, that's rude! I’m sure Moonie is a perfectly nice place, and we’d love to visit anyway!”

I walk towards the trio and open my mouth, hoping to convince my parents that this crazy girl is dangerous, when the crazy in question jumps to her feet and gasps. “Marco! I had no idea you lived here, I thought -all- humans had the last name Diaz!” She begins bouncing up and down with an excited smile, and I have to sigh and turn to look at my mother and father with a skeptical look. “Really, you two? She’s dangerous! And magical! She set the school on fire!” My father, always ignoring my words of caution to my great dismay, simply laughs it off. “She's a bundle of excitement! We could use that energy around the house, it's been empty without any exchange students, Mijo.”

“We could have gotten that with a litter of puppies! And with much less danger!” I respond, fuming. Star’s eyes grow wide, the pupils expanding like she’d just taken a dose of something, and she whispers “I. Love. Puppies.” Before pointing that awful pink wand at the ground, and lasering something into existence. The next thing I know, a litter of the most adorable little golden retriever pups are rolling around on the ground, letting up a storm of yips. I can see with one look into my parents eyes that they have fallen in love with them instantly, and I admit even my staunch determination to avoid Star living in this home was melted...for a moment. Then, of course, the puppies began firing fucking lasers from their eyes.

All of them, every second or so. The house descends into chaos as I try to save pictures, vases, and everything else breakable, Star and my mother start chasing down the puppies, and my father goes down quickly in a stream of laser fire. “My Eyesssss!!!” He calls out, hands over his face and red burn marks popping up all over him. Ten minutes later, a frazzled family of three and one unfortunate princess sit staring at the group of adorable puppies, the room now puppy proofed, with only half of the former living room being completely unsalvageable. I throw my hands towards Star, feeling like my point is very much made, and she lets out a nervous giggle.

My mother and father share a glance (as much as my father could with both of his eyes red and irritated) before simply shrugging and giving Star another welcoming smile. “Marco, why don’t you show Star her new room while we get all of this cleaned up? And, em, take the puppies with you.” I blink in complete shock, nearly ripping my hair out in frustration. They still want to live with her even after all that?! I just stand up and start stomping my way upstairs, the puppies following me, along with Star herself who seems quite relieved to not be getting kicked out. “Hey, Marco, I’m sorry about the puppies. And, uh, the various other broken things. Its…..kinda why I moved here. I don’t really know how to use this wand, and I may have accidentally set my kingdom on fire, so they sent me to this dimension to learn control.”

Honestly, it was a rather heartfelt apology, and a reasonable reaction. I could sympathize with the girl...but more so with her kingdom, for kicking her out. Perhaps I was slightly more bitter than I otherwise would be, considering my jeans and shoes were currently being ruined by laser eyed puppies firing at my legs and burning holes through my clothes. “Look, I don’t approve of you being here, but I can’t change what my parents think. Here’s your room, just...try not to break anything.” I gesture to the guest room we have all of our exchange students stay in, and Star suddenly lets out a huge smile, immediately raising up her wand in her hands. “Sparkle Glitter Bomb Expand!” I facepalm, expecting a hole to be blown straight through our house this time, but when I look up I see the girl opening up her door into a gigantic room.

It seems like a weird mix of medieval and modern, with monster skin rugs next to modern day curtains next to a super fluffy princess bed. Its two stories high, somehow (I later found we have a new actual tower growing out of our home) and is honestly about the coolest thing I’ve seen all day. I take a closer look at Star, for the first time since I categorized her into my box of ‘dangerous to society’ things, and realize that she must be someone pretty damn cool in that dimension of hers. Her boots are clearly made from some sort of weird monster, full of horns and scales, and her leggings and dress are both cut from the alien silk-like material I’d noticed earlier. The stuff is relatively low key compared to what our Earth royals used to wear, but I could see this crazy girl as a Princess out on holiday for the first time, now that I’ve seen her skip into this room. Maybe not a Princess like we used to have, I amend, once I see her giant wall of ridiculously huge weapons, but definitely something.

“This...this is amazing, Star. And nothings broken! Or on fire! Can you do me?!” I mean every word, this is real magic! Not just a weapon for breaking shit, but actual wave your hand and make cool stuff happen! I can’t even imagine what my room will look like. Maybe a giant karate dojo?! “Oooof course, Earth buddy. I’d be happy to.” Star confidently strides out of the room, clearly ecstatic that she’d managed the spell with no complications. When I point out my room to her, she kicks down the door, holds up her wand, and yells out “Mystic Cloud Suck Transform!” After which, a small black hole pops up at the top of my room and sucks every single thing I’ve ever owned into it, before disappearing with another little pop.

[rmg91]

The Woes and Antics of Living Together-5

This chapter behaved much better than 4 and I'm really happy with it as this is just one of the many scenes I've been wanting to write. Also I still love writing Branch when he starts to freak out XD

Enjoy! And A big huge Thank you! to all who’s read so far! I can’t tell you how happy it makes me~

Previous Chapter/Next Chapter; AO3/FF.net

@writerofberk Chapter 5 is here!! And I’m nice to Branch for once! And to answer your question from last time, Creek is currently just an annoyance but we both know he’s a creep and that will come out later.

                                                        ~*~*~*~*~*~

It was another dreary and overcast day in Bergenville and the last few weeks had a been a test for Branch's patience. He had found out that Poppy loved to sing or just play music late at night while she stayed up studying or scrapbooking. And, sure, Branch could admit he loved her voice to himself, but he really disliked being unable to sleep because she couldn't keep it quiet enough. He even threatened to throw her radio out the window! It had worked...until the next time it happened and she got caught up in the music as she claimed. He had made a mental note to invest in some ear plugs.

Then there was the 'Laundry Incident' where somehow some of her...unmentionables had somehow wound up in his hamper. Branch hadn't known how to react to seeing the lacy scraps of fabric settled among his clothes so he had turned around and walked out of the laundry room. He had returned a few minutes later, a confused Poppy in tow and gestured to his basket as he told her to remove the offending articles. She had at least looked a little embarrassed as she picked them out and claimed she had no idea how they got in there but Branch had already been ignoring her excuse and trying to forget it even happened. He later found out it had all been some sort of weird prank by Smidge and Cooper as he returned to the apartment.

Mix in the normal stress of university and trying to find a new job and you'd get a very irritable Branch who was going just the tiniest bit stir-crazy. Gristle had managed to tempt him out of the apartment a few times to hang out and play video games but Branch needed something to do besides the chores around the apartment. Something to keep him from letting all his pent up feelings for Poppy flow out into poem after poem or even the grey thoughts that circled around in his head somehow finding their way onto paper and making him feel worse for having acknowledged them. And having the means to pay his half of the rent that was coming up would be nice too.

Branch felt himself bring the knife down on the carrots he was chopping with a little more force then was necessary before he focused once more on the task at hand. Right, dinner. He was making stew and needed to concentrate so he didn't cut himself and have to be sent to the hospital. Finishing up cutting the root vegetable, he threw the pieces into the pot alongside the onions and celery, giving everything a little stir afterwards. Branch then started to prep the rest of the ingredients just as the door opened and the pink haired party girl flounced in.

"Oh, Roomie~! I'm home!" Poppy sang as she dropped her purse on the foyer table before skipping into the kitchen, bracelets jingling, "And guess what?!"

Branch rolled his eyes and continued with his food prep, "What?"

Poppy giggled before slapping down a piece of paper on the counter, "I picked you up an application for a job I think you'll like!"

Branch paused and looked at her before glancing down at the application, at a loss for words, "...You, uh...didn't have to do that."

"I know." She chirped, "But I was heading home after getting some more streamers for Biggie's big photo exhibit and I saw this sale at this cute boutique on the way home." Branch rolled his eyes as she started to ramble. "Anyway, on my way back to my car I noticed a place advertising for some help wanted and I thought it'd be perfect for you! Guess what sort of place it is?!"

"I'd really rather not," Branch sighed, "Just tell me."

"No fun." The pinkette mumbled before she continued, "It's a camping-outdoorsy sort of store! Sells all that equipment and stuff and I figured what was the harm of picking up an application for you, cause you always liked camping when we were kids and being in the garden and such!"

"That..." Branch was once again at a semi-loss for words, impressed she remembered that, "I'll...give it shot. ...Thank you."

Poppy smiled happily at him, "No prob, my dude. So!" She then clapped her hands together, looking at the unassembled ingredients, "What's for dinner?"

Branch shrugged as he stirred the vegetables, "Nothing fancy. Just some stew."

"Still sounds great. Can I help with anything?"

"No!" He vehemently refused, "I'm not letting you anywhere near real food again! Not after last time!" Said last time being when she decided to experiment by adding too many spices to the sauce for a lasagna he was making. He swore never to let her near his cooking again.

"It was a mistake! I didn't mean to add that much!" Poppy cried in her defense, hands flying to her hips.

"Don't care."

Poppy huffed and crossed her arms, "Not fair..." She then hummed as a thought hit her and Branch suddenly felt fear as she went to grab her camera.

She fiddled with it for a moment as she turned it on before she started talking to it, "Guys! Branch is being so unfair! He won't let me help with dinner because of one little mistake!" She brought the piece of equipment over and almost thrusted it in his face, "Tell them, Branch! Tell them how mean you are to your precious roommate!"

Branch ignored her as much as he could as he started to cut up the meat, "Poppy, we've been over this. I'm not talking into a camera to people over the internet. Now turn that thing off and get it out of my face. I'm trying to cook."

"Rude!" She exclaimed before pouting into the camera, "Guys, comment below and tell Branch how rude he is."

"Quit involving me in your internet shenanigans! I want no part of it!"

"Too bad~ As my roommate you are contractually obligated to appear in my vlogs."

Branch gave her a flat look, "I remember nothing about that in our deal. No where did we talk about you trying to film me!"

"It's one of the many unwritten rules of friendship, Branch, duh. And no where did we talk about you being such a sour puss all the time and yet..." She trailed off with a shrug.

Branch rolled his eyes, exasperated, "Go do something that's not bothering me."

She grinned cheekily, "Aww, but it's my favorite hobby! The 'Bother Branch' game is fun for all ages."

"Poppy..." He groaned.

She giggled as she turned off her camera, "Fine, fine but only because I don't want you to cut yourself."

"Gee, thanks so much."

Giggling, the pink haired whirlwind skipped away to her room and Branch thought maybe he'd get to finish cooking in semi-peace until she came back out, arms laden with scrapbooking materials. She dumped all of it on the coffee table before turning the stereo on and bouncing in her seat to the pop song playing. Branch heaved a sigh and tried his best ignore the overly preppy music, reminding himself to invest in a pair of earplugs as soon as he could.

                                            ~*~*~*~*~*~

The next day found Branch standing in front of the store Poppy had told him about, application in hand. He had to admit as he looked though the windows it definitely looked like a place he would have loved to explore when he was younger. He had always loved the outdoors and the sense of accomplishment whenever he managed to succeed in a task that would aid him if he ever had to face the wild alone. He also remembered spending almost all of summer camped out in the backyard and begging his grandma to let him stay there just one more night whenever the new school year started to approach. But that had all stopped when-No. He wasn't going to think about that or any other time before else he'd never get this over with and right now, finding a job was more important than thinking back on times that were never going to happen again.

Steeling himself up with a deep breath, Branch entered the store and took it in. A display for a tent sale sat in the front with aisles of supplies stretching toward the back, all manner of camping items in stock. Tents, sleeping bags, lanterns, chairs, portable stoves and just about anything else one could possible need was there, which was just a little impressive for how small the shop appeared on the outside. Off to the side was a single check-out counter and a cashier wearing a green and brown vest, playing on his phone. He glanced up and put it away before addressing Branch.

"Hey. Welcome to Clever Camping. How may I help you?"

It was now or never. Branch cleared his throat, "Uh, yeah. I saw you were hiring so I filled out an application." He hoped that didn't sound as awkward as it felt as he handed over the piece of paper.

"Great!" The blonde exclaimed, "I'll give this to the manager. He's actually in the back right now if you want to wait a few minutes. He may be able to give you an interview today."

Branch sure wasn't expecting that but nodded anyway, "Sure. No problem."

"Nice. Be right back!"

As the employee scampered off to the back of the store, Branch let out a slightly panicked sigh. Okay, sure, he could do this, it's not like interviews were nerve wracking already! He just had less time to prepare that was all! He quickly brushed off his shirt and tried to make himself look somewhat presentable as he paced around. He could do this, it was fine, this could be good! Or bad, very, very bad.

As Branch continued to try a fight off the impending urge to run and hide, he failed to hear the little bell above the door chiming. He was completely unaware of no longer being alone until the other person spoke up.

"Excuse me, young man?"

Branch tried very hard not to yelp as he turned to face an elderly woman. She had grey haired wrapped up in a bun, a crocheted shawl around her shoulders and was holding a cane. She smiled at him, wrinkles crinkling as she did so before adjusting her glasses. She had a very grandmotherly aura about her and Branch tried very hard not to think of his own at that moment.

"Um, yes?"

"Do you think you could me?" She asked before pulling out a list from her purse, "You see, my grandson is going on a camping trip with his scouting group and I'm afraid we don't have much of anything that he'll need. Could you help me find them?"

Wait...Did she think he worked there?! He had to tell her she was mistaken! But then another traitorous thought of his own grandmother slipped though and he knew she would be very disappointed in him if he refused to help this lady. She had raised him to be a gentleman after all. Sighing, he nodded and walked closer so he could take the list from her.

"I can try."

"Oh, thank you so much~" She grinned at him.

Branch nodded awkwardly and unfolded the piece of paper she had handed to him. Tent, extra tarp or canopy, sleeping bag, sleeping pad, repair kit, pillows, extra blankets, headlamp or flashlight, lantern with appropriate energy source and a plethora of other items. Branch was impressed by how thorough this list was, it was almost as if he'd written it. Glancing around the store to figure out where to start first, he grabbed one of the hand baskets and began leading the woman around.

The first aisle they went down had portable stoves and the like, making Branch wonder if maybe he should have chosen a different aisle as there didn't seem to be anything they needed down this way. However just when he was going to suggest they try a different row, he spotted the lanterns and flashlights. He had a brief thought about how it would be more efficient if perhaps these items were put toward the front of the row but pushed it back as he looked at the different items, wondering which would be best to suggest.

"So, uh...How old is your grandson?" Maybe knowing the age of the kid would help him determine the item.

"Oh, he's nine going on ten." The old woman gushed, "He's so excited for this trip. The first time he's ever been camping."

Branch tired to flash a smile at her before nodding toward one of the better battery powered lanterns, "This one would probably be best then. It runs on batteries but it's a good sturdy plastic and waterproof, so no one would have to worry about fuel or rusting. It's also in a good modest price range, in case you're wondering."

"Well then that sounds just perfect." She grinned brightly, "I truly appreciate you helping me."

"It's..uh...it's no problem."

They continued like this up and down the aisles, Branch pointing out the products he thought would be best, remembering more of his own experiences with camping. He suggested an extra raincoat. insect repellant and a small first aid kit, stating that it never hurt to have some back-up in case something happened to whatever the scout leaders brought. Branch was just double checking everything so far before they went to look at the tents and wondered where the employee that had greeted him was and if he was going to come back anytime soon.

"Ok, so it looks like all that's left is a tent and maybe a sleeping bag? Was this already checked off?"

"Oh, I thought we had one, so yes it was but it turns out it was horribly moldy after getting wet somehow. So yes, we do need a new one."

"Alright, this way."

He was perusing the different styles of tents, trying to find the best one for a kid when a tall, broad shoulder man came around the corner from the back. He had chestnut hair, brown eyes and wore a grin and vest like the other employee, the only difference was he also had a pin that dubbed him the manager.

"Hello, there!" He greeted warmly, "So sorry for the lack of greeting when you came in. Is there anything I can help you with?"

"Oh, no. Your employee here has been so helpful and has given so much advice for my grandson's upcoming trip."

The manager smiled down at the woman, "I'm afraid he doesn't work here...yet." He then turned his grin on Branch, "Tell me, son, are you the one who turned in the application Denis brought me a little while ago?"

"Uh, yes?" Stupid! Don't sound so unsure!

"Reed Langley!" The man proclaimed, offering his hand to Branch.

Shocked for a second, Branch startled before shaking his hand, "...Uh! Branch Hawthorn, sir."

"Well, Branch, you're hired!"

"Huh? But, uh...What about an interview?" Was this really happening?

Reed laughed, "I think helping this lovely lady here when you didn't have to speaks volumes more than me asking you some questions. So what do you say?"

What did he say? Oh right! "Um, sure. Yeah! Of course! Thank you?"

"Not a problem!" Reed laughed again, "Denis! Go take the sign out of the window!" There was brief 'yes, sir' from the other worker before Reed continued, "So, Branch, why don't I let you finish helping our customer here and then while Denis is ringing her up, we can talk and set up your schedule. Alright?"

"Yeah, sure. Okay." There was no way that just happened, right?

                                            ~*~*~*~*~*~

A few hours later, Branch had wandered back to the apartment, still somewhat in a state of a shock. He just couldn't believe he was hired right on the spot like that just for helping someone! That just didn't happen! Of course he wasn't going to kick a gift horse in the mouth, it..felt kind of nice to have a job again and the store really wasn't the worse place to be in. Still, Branch couldn't help but be wary of the universe and wonder what it would do to him this time to knock him down again.

Sighing to himself, he was grateful Poppy was gone as he needed a few moments to gather himself and to work out a new plan. He wandered over to the couch, flopped on it, and flinging an arm over his head went over what had happened after he helped the old woman find a tent and new sleeping bag. His new boss didn't mind that he would be working part-time, said Branch going to school was great thing and that if he ever needed to take an extra day off to study for a test or midterm to just let him know ahead of time. He would start his new job in two days and he'd have a twenty percent store discount, which would be nice if Branch ever decided to go camping again. However that meant he'd have to work out some sort of chore chart with Poppy as he wouldn't be around as often, even if that would mean trying to trust her in the kitchen with actual food now.

Making a few mental notes to himself, Branch yawned and shifted on the couch, finding a comfortable spot. He felt himself grow drowsy and knew he probably shouldn't fall asleep on the couch, he didn't want to temp Poppy into pulling some sort of prank. But as sleep claimed him, he decided he just didn't feel like caring if she drew on his face or covered him in glitter.

                                                      ~*~*~*~*~*~

Yay! Branch has a job again! And at a much nicer environment! I can't tell you guys how much I've been wanting to write Reed (even if he didn't have a name until I started writing that part XD) and that whole scene. And to be fair, Poppy can cook, she's just better at baking and accidents with overly large holes in spice containers happen.

I hope you enjoyed! Stayed tuned for the next installment!

[shazyloren]

The Dragon Club: Chapter 8 - Mothers and Fathers

Summary:  Jon Snow is an online blogger who gets an interview with the sort after Daenerys Targaryen, the Editor of Valyrian, a multi-million dollar fashion magazine. He'd heard so much about the silver-haired and silver-tongued woman and the running of her business; he would have to be smart to get anything more than five minutes. Will he be safe walking into the Dragon's lair or will he get thrown to the Lions?

Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/12018519/chapters/27428226

------------

Daenerys pulled up to the beautiful six bedroom house on the outskirts of King's Landing in her Rolls Royce, well Jorah did Dany was in the back with her sunglasses on wondering which shoes to wear. Jorah shrugged as he stopped the car. Jorah was wearing a shirt into trousers and a nice tie. Dany was wearing a black floor length dress which also had a red cape on the back. She was into capes at the moment, it made her feel like a superhero. "Either pair, Madam. You'll look lovely in either"

"Which pair will my mother approve of?" Daenerys asked frankly. "I want to give her no excuses to go after me"

"But she will, all the same" Jorah smiled. "The black"

Daenerys nodded and threw the silver pair into the abyss that was the space behind the space behind the passenger's seat. She strapped the black ones to her feet and waited for Jorah to open the door for her. She climbed out and walked to the boot. She had a nice bag for Elia and some gifts for the children. She'd even bought a fine wine for Rhaegar. As a valet man took her car to be parked, she could see her mother already in the window looking out from the second floor. Daenerys felt her angry rise slightly. If she made one unnecessary comment about her she would be leaving straight away.

"Come, Jorah. Let's go be mercilessly teased" She laughed and attached herself to his arm. As her spare hand held the bags with the presents in. A man dressed in fine clothes opened the front door and allowed for her to enter. The house had looked better then when Daenerys was last here. Rae and Elia had only just moved in and the place was covered in boxes and sheeting covered the furniture. Now the entrance hall was covered in fine reds and oranges, bright and happy like Elia loved.

Down the steps came Rhaella, looking as beautiful and graceful as the Daenerys can remember. Even in her old age she was a thing of beauty. Her graying silver blond hair fell i loose curls, her violet eyes shone under the light of the chandelier and her full length red dress hugged her body in the right places. Daenerys had mentally prepared herself for this, she knew it was coming. "Child, you decided to show up"

"I did, does that bother you?" Daenerys was cold towards her mother, she always had been since they'd both thrown her out of the house three years previous.

"No, I'm glad" She said cryptically. Daenerys couldn't see the angle her mother was trying to play. She was always so nice to her at face value but then she'd say something which set Daenerys off and they wouldn't speak to each other for months. "You've been busy"

"Obviously" Daenerys was still being cold, she wasn't going to let her guard down. "I am the Editor and Owner of a magazine, Mother"

"Yes, Hot-headed and Vindictive owner of Valyrian magazine I believe" Dany's eyes widened. Her mother had read the article. "Good writer that man is"

"And wildly mistaken" Dany spat.

"So you didn't throw him out of the interview?" Rhaella smirked as she sipped on her wine from the fancy dragon encrusted wine glass. She could read Dany like a book, and that irritated the hell out of her. "Thought so"

"What do you want, Mother?" Dany huffed impatiently.

"Your niece and nephew have missed you" Her honey voice purred.

"And what about you?" Dany said with a raised eyebrow. "Have you missed me?"

Rhaella blinked before laughing loudly. "Don't flatter yourself. Why would I miss a daughter who is too self-obsessed with her own business than to give her mother a quick phone call to see if she's alright? Oh I've missed you terribly, child!"

Daenerys scowled. "You know why I don't call you, mother"

"Because you can't take constructive criticism" Rhaella began to move passed Daenerys. "Have a nice half an hour, or however long you plan to stay for"

Jorah coughed after what felt like a lifetime of Daenerys just staring at the place her mother had stood. How dare she? Daenerys angrily thought, What gives her the right to be so rude to me as soon as i walk into the door? Taking a deep breath, Dany began to walk towards were all the noise was coming from. Her mother's words searing into her brain. She wasn't self obsessed, was she? As the door parted and Dany stepped through she was hit with a wall of noise that made her forget all about her mother.

"Sister" She heard and glanced over to see where the noise came from. It was Viserys; who had his arm around leggy girl who was not appropriately dressed for the occasion she was attending. She was different from his usual conquests, she had a short brown pixie cut instead of the usual blondes Viserys went for. Viserys was shorter than Rhaegar but he still towered of Dany who'd got her mother's short gene. He had his hair messily shoulder length and when Dany looked at his violet eyes, they were bloodshot. "My how I have missed you"

"What drugs are you on today, Viz?" She sighed as Jorah glanced around the room, anything to not look at Viserys who was swaying on his feet.

"No hello? I should've known" He said as he looked around the room. It was starting to creep, Dany out. She glared at him; it reminded him to introduce the girl on his arm who was too swaying uncomfortably as she clung onto Viserys. "This is Tyene"

"The one who likes public sex?" She raised an eyebrow. Viserys nodded before bursting out laughing. Why was Rhaegar and herself the only normal ones in this family? "I'd love to stay and chat with you but I really don't want to. Where's our brother?"

It was at this moment there was piercing scream.

"AUNTIE DANY!" Aggy came running full pelt at her she almost had to hold onto Jorah for fear of being knocked over. He hugged her within an inch of his life and was shaking with happiness. "Auntie Dany We missed you!"

"Thank you, I missed you too" She said messing his hair up. Daenerys reached into one of her bags and pulled out a remote control helicopter, a fidget spinner and a couple of water pistols, she knew what Aegon liked. "I've got you some toys"

"Oh cool!" He said excitedly. "Thank you, Auntie Dany!"

"Your welcome, now where's your sister?" She said as Aegon ripped apart the packaging on one of the water pistols. he just shrugged before running off to presumably the sink to fill it up. As long as he didn't get her she'd be fine with it. Jorah place the toys to one side so as not to cause a trip hazard and they continued to walk down towards the festivities in the garden.

When he walked through the patio, there was a lot of women around Elia's age stood around chatting and then the men were congregated by the outdoor oven which she saw her brother in a chef's hat. She rolled her eyes and began to walk over to him. "Brother, my dear"

He turned to look at her, wide eyed at her appearance. He smiled brightly then and came jogging over. "Daenerys!"

They embraced. "I missed you"

"I missed you too, sweet sister" He let go of her embrace before noting Jorah's appearance. "Sir"

He saluted, they had both been in the army. "It's been a while, Rhaegar"

"Too long, Mr. Mormont" He smiled. Daenerys loved her brother, the only member of the family who had cared about her over the last few years, and even when she'd been cold and distant, he'd always had her back. He always cheered her up and sometimes had even been a shoulder to cry on. "Did you find Elia yet?"

"No I've run into mother though" Daenerys said with a chill in her throat.

"Oh, I see" Rhaegar took one look at Dany's expression and laughed. "Nothing's changed then?"

"No; but I never expected it too. Viserys and Tyene though, for all my mother taunts me I can see where's she's coming from. That however; is something I don't understand. How many different types of drugs is he on do you reckon?" Dany laughed as she caught up with her brother. They chatted for ten to fifteen minutes before Elia made herself appear. "Elia, darling"

"Hello, sweet sister" She said, hugging Dany.

"Happy birthday" She handed Elia a paper bag from Chloe, something she'd picked up on her shopping trip a few days previous (the one where she ran into Jon, of all people) and though she hadn't bothered to wrap it; the thought still counted. Elia opened the bag and stared inside; a gleeful smile appearing on her face for a brief second before being replaced with confusion.

"I can't accept this" It was a brand new Chloe handbag in orange, Elia's favourite colour.

"You can and you will" Dany said, placing a hand on hers.

"This was expensive" She said stating the obvious.

"Every mother deserve a nice gift, one you can get use out of every day" She said smiling.

"It's a shame you cant treat your own then" Rhaella had appeared with her father, Aerys then. Daenerys found herself scowling at them both, wishing they were anywhere but here. "Do you really think buying gifts for them is going to make up for the lack of effort on your half? These people are your family; and how often do you call them, speak to them? When did you last speak with Viz?"

"Mother not now" Rhaegar insisted but she did not stop.

"We are your parents, Daenerys. And you don't speak to us! You just think about yourself and your business and your stupid little get together club you have in your penthouse" Daenerys was shocked beyond belief.

"Grandma Targaryen" It was Rani that spoke. "When did you last buy Aegon a water gun? Or a remote control helicopter? When did you last get Mum a nice bag because she deserved it? Aegon doesn't want the endless Chanel socks and coats your keep buying him; he's 9! He likes toys and playing outside. And Mum doesn't want lots of diamond necklaces, she doesn't go out enough to wear them"

Everyone went quiet. It was the most out there thing Dany had ever heard Rani say, but she had and there was stunned silence. Aerys stared at his wife with a small grin on his face. Had he agreed with Rani?

If the stunned silence of that hadn't put a weird mood on Elia's party, then Aegon pumping his water gun and shooting it at Rhaella's face certainly did.

[theshatteredrose]

Unique Encounters (Guardian Chronicles) - EOUntold2

Summary: First an argumentative dark hunter, next a gleefully drunk troubadour, then an airheaded hexer telling him he should be dead? Fafnir had to admit, the Guardian guild had some interesting members…

AN: Dear God, I am having so much fun with this series~

Fafnir followed Flavio down the stairs to the foyer of the inn. After a long day of trekking through the labyrinth, they were heading out to get something to eat at the restaurant. Arianna, Bertrand, and Chloe had already set out, while Fafnir and Flavio made a quick stop to the inn to drop off their explorer kits and other essentials into their rooms.

As they reached the bottom step of the stairs, Flavio suddenly paused, his posture somewhat irritated. First, Fafnir wondered if he had forgotten something and was annoyed at himself, but after a quick glance around, a habit he had picked up from being inside the labyrinth, his gaze fell upon a figure that was slinking their way to the front entrance.

With his hands in his pockets, his shoulders slumped forward, and a scowl on his face, Fafnir somewhat recognised him. White hair, maroon clothing, and dark skin. He was that dark hunter from the other night. The night he overheard shouting outside his window. Rahas or something.

Glancing over at Flavio, Fafnir realised that he appeared to be inwardly struggling with something. A comment was on the tip of his tongue and he was battling with himself to keep it there and not say anything. From the twitch of his eyebrow, though, he couldn’t contain himself any longer.

“Learned how to use doors, have you, Squirrel?”

Rahas bristled comically as he spun around and glared at Flavio through one eye, the other hidden behind white hair that had been pedantically styled in place. He drew in a sharp intake of air through his noise, appearing ready to yell a response back before he seemed to calm himself and slowly stalk toward them. “Hey, Chipmunk, you do know that half the town now knows you have pudgy cheeks?”

“I do not have pudgy cheeks!”

“And I’m not a fucking squirrel!”

Fafnir stayed quiet as the two immediately began to bicker and insult each other. He had to admit that he was somewhat amusing watching Flavio get into a childish insulting match with another. He could be wonderfully insulting when he was particularly annoyed by someone or something.

Glancing over the dark hunter’s shoulder, Fafnir’s eyes immediately fell upon the figure of someone else. Silver hair and green eyes. A troubadour by appearance. And he appeared to be silently creeping up behind Rahas.

Fafnir arched a questioning eyebrow when the silver-haired troubadour lifted a finger to his lips, motioning for him to be quiet. Curious, Fafnir remained silent, watching with a growing sense of amusement as the other man slowly snuck up behind Rahas, who of which was still bickering with Flavio.

The troubadour suddenly sprung forward and threw his arms around Rahas in an overly exuberant hug, causing the dark hunter to release a loud, high-pitch shriek of surprise and indignity. So loud was his wail of surprise that even Flavio jumped back in surprise, his back hitting Fafnir square in the chest.

With a smirk of amusement playing on his lips, Fafnir wrapped an arm around Flavio’s waist and took a step back, pulling Flavio with him. He was content for now to watch the troubadour interact with the dark hunter. Obviously, he knew him, so it was a safe bet that he was either a good friend to the Guardian Guild or was yet another member.

“How’s my favourite emo brat?” the troubadour asked cheerfully as he rubbed his cheek against Rahas’.

“Cedric, what the fuck?!” Rahas shrilled as he immediately began to struggle to push the other away. Yet, despite how desperate he seemed to be to put distance between them, he was ensuring that his flailing limbs didn’t harm the other in any way. “You’re drunk again?!”

The troubadour, Cedric, pouted childishly as he released his hold around him. “So rude,” he said before he quickly perked up again and looked over in Fafnir and Flavio’s direction. “Who are your new friends?”

“They’re not friends,” Rahas replied gruffly before a half smirk appeared on his lips as he glanced over at Flavio. “But that’s Chipmunk and his kinky boyfriend.”

Fafnir narrowed his eyes fearsomely at the dark hunter while he tightened his arm around Flavio’s waist when he felt him bristled wildly. He placed his hands on Fafnir’s arm and leaned forward, as if he wanted to pull himself out of Fafnir’s grip and launch himself at that smirking dark hunter.

“The name is Flavio,” he said as he narrowed his eyes. But, surprisingly (or maybe unsurprisingly), he appeared flustered. “And Fafnir is not…kinky.”

Cedric continued to smile in a blissful, drunken manner, while Rahas sent Flavio a purely sceptical look. “You didn’t deny he was your boyfriend,” he suddenly commented.

Flavio blushed darkly. “I was getting to that!” he insisted, his hands tightening around Fafnir’s arms as if just realising that Fafnir was indeed holding him around the wait with a single arm. “W-we’re just friends.”

Fafnir couldn’t help but allow a sense of annoyance to appear in his chest. The wording of ‘just friends’ seemed to piss him off greatly. But he pushed it aside. It was…probably for the best, after all.

“Friends?” Rahas repeated with his expression and tone now highly sceptical. “There’s a lot of these friendships going round.”

With his cheeks still sporting a dusting of light red, Flavio opened his mouth to give the other man a retort of some kind, but was interrupted when Cedric laughed cheerfully once more.

“Nice to meet you,” Cedric said. “You can call me Cedric. That’s my name, anyway. I’m Hamza’s childhood friend.”

Cedric then giggled. It wasn’t a chuckle. It wasn’t a soft laugh. It was a giggle. Fafnir had never heard a grown man giggle like that before. He was quite…well-oiled, wasn’t he?

Rahas gruffly folded his arms over his chest as he turned to face the silver-haired troubadour. “Just what is your relationship with Hamza, anyway?” he suddenly asked, appearing as if that question had been bugging him for a while.

It was as if…he just wanted someone to admit that, yes, they were indeed in a relationship. Yet there was also a sense of wanting to know just so…he could avoid that shit? This dark hunter was rather full of contradictions, wasn’t he?

“Hm…” Cedric thought for a moment before he cheerfully clapped his hands together in front of him. “You can call me grandma!”

Rahas immediately bristled. “I ain’t calling you shit!”

Cedric continued to smile. “No need to yell, grandma can hear you just fine.”

“Shut up!” Rahas hissed through seemingly clenched teeth before he folded his arms over his chest. “You shouldn’t be drinking in your condition, anyway.”

Cedric tutted lightly, even going as far as to wag his finger at him. “Rahas, dear,” he said in a subtly patronizing tone. “I’m fairly certain I’m not pregnant.”

Rahas immediately looked disgusted at the thought. “The hell? Fairly?”

“Well, you know…things happen,” Cedric replied and sent Rahas a wink.

“You know what, fuck it,” Rahas suddenly said as he threw his hands up in the air in frustration and turned on his heel toward the front entrance of the inn. “Go slobber over Hamza or something!”

“Don’t stay out too late, grandson,” Cedric said as he cheerfully waved him goodbye.

“Screw you!”

Flavio watched until the dark hunter was out of sight before turning his attention back to Cedric. “Is he always like that?” he asked as Fafnir loosened his hold around him a little, relaxing with the knowledge that Flavio won’t accidentally get into a fight with Rahas now.

Cedric turned to Flavio and gave him a surprisingly sad smile. “He has had a troubled start to his life. Quite dark and lonely.”

Fafnir felt a frown tug at his lips while Flavio fell silent, not sure in how to respond.

“He’s still an emo brat, though,” Cedric quickly stated, his jovial demeanour making a rapid return. “And I love picking on him.”

Flavio deadpanned at him. “I see.”

Cedric turned to face Flavio before stilling. He stared at him for a moment before he suddenly made a small motion with his hand, asking for Flavio to lean forward a tiny bit. Flavio blinked in surprise, his brow furrowing slightly, but he leaned forward nonetheless. As soon as he did, Cedric reached up and…placed his palms against Flavio’s cheeks, causing his lips to mimic that of a fish.

“They’re so soft!” Cedric exclaimed happily, unaware of the twitch of annoyance from Flavio’s eyebrow.

Fafnir felt his eyebrow twitch as well, but from protectiveness rather than annoyance. But Cedric was different from that highlander. And close to the Guardian guild. And he was drunk, as well. He appeared to be a harmless drunk. A happy one was better than an angry one.

“You are just so cute!” Cedric continued as he massaged Flavio’s cheeks dramatically. “Full pouty lips, dreamy blue eyes, wavy dark hair; I hope your boyfriend is protective or you’ll get eaten up in no time!”

Well…Fafnir couldn’t argue with that. And he had a point. Hm…

“W-what does that mean?” Flavio spluttered.

“Cedric, I think you should let Flavio go now,” a familiar voice chided slightly.

Cedric immediately dropped his hands from Flavio’s cheeks and spun around. He then uttered a noise of pure delight when he saw a certain orange-haired medic that was no more than a foot behind him and he flung his arms around him in a hug.

“Lynus, love,” Cedric said as he nuzzled his cheek against Lynus’, much like had done with Rahas, but Lynus wasn’t struggling like said dark hunter had. He was compliant, as if he had endured this display of affection numerous times already. “I was looking for you, but got distracted by the softest cheeks I think I’ve ever seen.”

“Why is everyone so obsessed with my cheeks…?” Flavio was heard muttering to himself as he idly rubbed his cheeks.

…As long as they stay obsessed with the cheeks on his face.

Lynus chuckled as he patted Cedric on the back and turned to look over at Flavio with a softly empathetic expression on his face. “Sorry about Cedric. I keep telling him not to drink too much.”

“I’ve only had a couple of drinks,” Cedric immediately insisted with a pout as he pulled away from Lynus, but kept his hands on his shoulders not the less.

Lynus smiled indulgently at him. “Of what and what size were these drinks?”

“Oh, the usual,” Cedric replied in a dismissive manner before his pout became, well, poutier when Lynus continued to smile knowingly at him. “Don’t give me that look. Let grandma have his happy juice. Honestly, kids these days.”

“Cedric,” Lynus said kindly as he took Cedric by the elbow. “You’re thirty-three.”

“An ancient compared to kids these days.”

“Now, now. You’re young at heart.”

Cedric sniffed before he muttered, “Just not young at lungs…”

Lynus gently squeezed Cedric’s elbow. “We’re getting there,” he whispered.

Cedric looked down at the hand gripping his elbow before looking back up at Lynus, a soft, sincere smile on his lips. “We are.”

As Fafnir watched the two, he suddenly realised that though he had had a few encounters with the Guardian Guild, he had never actually spoken to the most beloved member.

A loud noise, like that of something, or someone, hitting the ground quickly caused the four of them to jump slightly in surprise. A frown immediately made its way upon Fafnir’s lips as he turned to look behind him, where the sound seemed to have resonated from. And what he saw was…a person, from appearance. Faded maroon tattered robes, golden chains, and long washout white hair. A hexer, probably. And they were lying face down in the middle of the stairwell. As if they had tripped on the bottom step and fell…up the stairs?

“Mahogany?” Lynus said with a tone of concern as he hurried over to him, Cedric right behind him. He walked up a couple of steps before sighing as he crouched down near the beginning to move form. “Not again. How in the world did you fall up the stairs?”

Slowly, with help from Lynus, the hexer pushed himself to his knees, before twisting slightly to sit himself upon the steps. He clutched at his head as Lynus gently brushed back his hair, whispering questions to him, earning a nod every now and again. Lynus was concerned for the other’s welfare, but he wasn’t overly worried. In fact, it seemed as though Mahogany dropping to the ground suddenly had happened numerous times before.

Snapping his head up, Mahogany suddenly turned his attention directly at Fafnir, his red eyes boring into his. Though his gaze wasn’t fierce, nor did it hold any ill-intent, Fafnir felt a surprising sense of unease form in the pit of his stomach. It was as if…Mahogany knew something about him that he, himself, refused to admit.

“Don’t say it…” Flavio unexpectedly whispered softly.

Fafnir was puzzled and wondered what Flavio was referring to when he hexer said something that both puzzled and startled him.

“You should be dead, too.”

Fafnir heard Flavio draw in a sharp intake of air while Lynus visibly winced. “Mahogany…”

“Yes, yes,” Cedric suddenly said, flapping his hand dismissively at the hexer. “And I should have died twice over, I know.”

“Come on, you two,” Lynus said as he helped guide Mahogany to his feet before abruptly snaring his wrist with his left hand while his right hand moved to instinctively take Cedric’s, the troubadour all but beaming from the touch. “Let’s go sit in the tea room for a while.”

Mahogany tilted his head to the side as Lynus began to pull him along. “Do you need to hold my hand?”

Lynus turned around to face him, giving him a rather pointed, no-nonsense look. “After seeing you walk into the same wall three times today; yes. Yes, I do.”

Three times? How could you walk into the same wall three times? And that was just today?

Wait…maybe that would explain the strange thud he heard outside his room last night. He had chalked it up to an explorer stumbling drunk into the inn late last night. Maybe it was this airhead?

“Excuse us,” Lynus said as he turned his attention back to Fafnir and Flavio, granting them both an apologetic smile. “You’re welcome to visit us in the tearoom, though.”

“Hm, we’ll catch you later,” Flavio said with a smile of his own, yet he appeared…distracted.

Lynus gave Flavio a look, one that was somehow sympathetic, but knowing, before he urged Cedric and Mahogany to walk with him, the three of them moving deeper into the inn.

As soon as they were out of sight, Fafnir turned his attention to Flavio. “What happened?” he asked, not liking the way Flavio had turned pale and quiet.

“He…said the same thing to Bertrand this morning,” Flavio told him as he slowly turned his face toward him, though his gaze linger to the ground, as if not wanting Fafnir to see the uncertainty in his eyes. “Apparently he says things like that all the time. Suffers from visions or something.”

Oh…

“He walked into the same wall three times today,” Fafnir quickly reminded him as he reached out to place an arm around his shoulders to tug him against his side. “It’s nothing to worry about.”

As Flavio rested against him, he finally lifted his gaze from the floor to look at him. There was still a sense of uncertainty in his eyes. “…Yeah,” he muttered before plastering a forced smile on his lips. “Let’s head to the restaurant. The others will be wondering about us.”

“Right,” Fafnir said as he kept his arm around Flavio’s shoulder, the two of them walking from the inn.

As they silently headed in the direction of the restaurant, Fafnir tried to push the short encounter with Mahogany to the back of his mind. The words lingered, though. He knew that hexers had strange, sometimes frightening abilities. Rumours of even being able to read minds were rampant.

He couldn’t help but wonder…How much did that hexer know about him?

[theleftoverurl]

ARE ANGRY WORDS TO BE WRITTEN IN CAPS LOCK?

I AM NOT ONE TO FIGHT WITH PEOPLE, BUT YESTERDAY THINGS CAME TO A HEAD WITH MY GRANDMA AND SHE HAS IGNORED ME OR MADE SNIDE JADED COMMENTS ABOUT ME ALL DAY EVER SINCE – IT’S NOW NIGHT-TIME AND SHE HAS ONLY JUST STARTED TO COOL DOWN – AND WARM HER TONE TOWARDS ME.

YESTERDAY WAS A TERRIBLY DULL DAY TO FOLLOW A STRING OF DULL DAYS, WHICH IS ALMOST ENTIRELY MY FAULT FOR NOT BOTHERING TO TRY AND CATCH UP WITH PEOPLE AND ENTERTAIN MYSELF, AND I THINK THAT THIS COMBINATION OF FEELING COOPED UP AND HAVING TO DEAL WITH AH MA SULKING AROUND THE HOUSE ALL DAY, PLUS MY MUM’S DISDAIN TOWARDS HER LED UP TO OUR FIGHT.

I WOKE UP LATE (ALMOST PURPOSELY BECAUSE I COULD HEAR AH MA ON THE PHONE BITCHING AND LYING ABOUT ME AND ASKING FOR FAVOURS ON THE PHONE TO HER WEIRDO FRIENDS GRANT THE PRIEST AND LEONARD AND MARLENE), WAITED FOR AH MA TO BE RATTLING AROUND OUTSIDE SWEEPING THE GARDEN AND WENT TO PLAY THE PIANO AS NO ONE WAS IN THE HOUSE. WHEN MUM CAME BACK FROM DOING THE GROCERIES, SHE SAID SHE WAS TAKING AH MA TO TORRE BECAUSE AH MA WAS GOING TO COOK TAO EW BAK AT MY SUGGESTION SO DID I WANT TO COME ALONG. I DECIDED THAT THE BUTCHERS WAS PROBABLY A BETTER PLACE TO BE THAN AT HOME BY MYSELF, SO GOT DRESSED AND TAGGED ALONG.

THE BUTCHERS WAS VERY SLOW. I FORGOT HOW SLOW IT IS GOING TO TORRE BUT IT WAS BETTER THAN WHEN I WAS A LITTLE CHILD BECAUSE I WAS ALLOWED TO WANDER AIMLESSLY AROUND THE TINY SHOP AND A LITTLE BIT OUTSIDE WHILE I WAITED. AH MA EMBARRASSED ME TERRIBLY BECAUSE WHILST MUM WAS TALKING TO THE BUTCHER’S WIFE, SHE PLUCKED PARSLEY OUT OF A JAR, SPILT IT ALL OVER THE FLOOR AND THEN ASKED THE BUTCHER IF SHE COULD HAVE IT. MUM WAS ALSO IRRITATED AT HER FOR TAKING SO LONG TO SPECIFY WHAT CUTS OF MEAT SHE WANTED, BUT I FELT LIKE THAT ANNOYANCE WAS PARTLY UNWARRANTED (MIND YOU, I DIDN’T GO WITH THE TWO OF THEM TO THE CHINESE SHOP IN THE MORNING, SO MAYBE  IT WAS AN UNFORESEEN BUILDUP ON MY PART).

THEN WE WENT TO MILLSTREAM PATISSERIE TO BUY SOME PIES FOR LUNCH AND FOR NICK’S AFTERNOON TEA. MUM WAS SICK OF AH MA PRETENDING SHE COULDN’T WALK BECAUSE OF HER BAKER’S CYST, SO DITCHED AH MA, LEAVING HER TO KIND OF LOITER AROUND OUTSIDE SOUTHSHORE SHOPPING PLAZA. WE BOUGHT THE PIES AND THEN CAME HOME.

I MADE COFFEE FOR AH MA AND MYSELF AND THEN CHOPPED THE BANH MI AND A PIE IN HALF FOR MUM AND I TO SHARE AND THEN WE ALL SORT OF SAT AT THE DINING TABLE TO WHILE AWAY THE TIME AS USUAL. AFTER A BIT WE MOVED TO THE GREEN COUCH AND AH MA BROUGHT UP THE SUBJECT OF THE BANK.

THE PROBLEM WITH AH MA WANTING TO GO TO THE BANK IS THAT SHE HAS NO WAY OF GETTING THERE BECAUSE SHE CAN’T DRIVE, AND SHE HAS NO PHONE SO SHE INSISTED ON HAVING MUM OR I WAIT WITH HER AT THE BANK. ADDITIONALLY, SHE IS TOO STUPID TO UNDERSTAND HER BANKING SITUATION, OR WHAT SHE ACTUALLY WANTS TO DO AT THE BANK, SO SHE WOULD TAKE HOURS AND THERE IS NOTHING TO DO AT MENDS STREET NOW THEY ARE BUILDING THE HOUSING ACROSS THE ROAD. THEREFORE UNSURPRISINGLY, MUM AND I CATEGORICALLY REFUSED TO GO WITH AH MA TO THE BANK TO SORT OUT HER AFFAIRS.

I (STUPIDLY IN RETROSPECT) POINTED OUT THAT THE REAL ISSUE WAS AH MA DIDN’T HAVE A PHONE SO SHE SHOULD PROBABLY PROCURE A SIM CARD SO SHE COULD JUST RING US TO PICK HER UP. THE MAIN REGRET IN THIS IS THAT SHE WOULD NOT UNDERSTAND HOW TO CHANGE SIMS BACK AND FORTH, NOR TELL HER (ANNOYING) FRIENDS WHAT HER NEW NUMBER IS SO SHE WOULD INSIST ON HAVING US DO IT FOR HER. MUM AND AH MA STARTED TO FIGHT AND IT GOT HEATED BECAUSE AH MA INSISTED THAT THE BANK RANG HER AND TOLD HER TO COME TO THE BANK WITHOUT GIVING A REASON WHICH IS JUST STUPID AND IMPOSSIBLE BECAUSE A) WE HAVE NEVER GOTTEN CALLS FROM THE BANK ASKING FOR HER B) THE BANK DOESN’T REALLY CALL PEOPLE OUT OF THE BLUE AND JUST SAY COME TO THE BANK WITHOUT REASON AND C) THEY HAD NO WAY OF KNOWING SHE WAS EVEN IN AUSTRALIA, MEANING SHE HAD TO HAVE CALLED THEM FIRST BUT SHE INSISTED THAT WASN’T SO. A LUDICROUS STORY, BUT IT REALLY HAD MUM RILED UP.

THEN I SNAPPED AT GRANDMA “YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO USE A PHONE,” BECAUSE I WAS GETTING SICK OF THE ARGUMENT AND EQUALLY RILED, AND THEN SHE YELLED AT ME FOR THE FIRST TIME. UNFORTUNATELY FOR HER, I AM VERY STUBBORN, SHE’S NOT SCARY, AND ONCE SOMEONE BEGINS TO YELL, A PART OF ME SWITCHES OFF INTO THE UNREASONABLE. BUT TOO BAD, I’M ALSO UNAPOLOGETIC (ALL THESE BAD ASPECTS OF MY CHARACTER). ANYWAY SHE YELLED “YOU CAN’T DISRESPECT AH MA LIKE THAT, YOU HAVE NO GRATITUDE, YOU MUST APOLOGISE.” AND SHE STOOD UP AND CAME TO ME (EVIDENTLY THE LEG DIDN’T HURT SO BAD ANYMORE, HUH) AND LEANED OVER WHERE I WAS LYING ON THE COUCH AS IF SHE HAD FORGOTTEN HERSELF AND WAS GOING TO HIT ME BUT HAD CAUGHT HERSELF. I WAS MOMENTARILY WORRIED SHE WAS GOING TO HIT ME BECAUSE I COULDN’T QUICK ENOUGH CALCULATE HOW TO ACT – I KNEW I COULD HIT HER BACK HARDER AND AND IN MY ANGER MAY DO AND THAT HER SLAP WOULDN’T ACTUALLY HURT BUT I DID NOT WANT TO DEAL WITH THE OBVIOUS RAMIFICATIONS OF THAT.

ANYWAY, I SNAPPED BACK “NO. I AM NOT GOING TO APOLOGISE BECAUSE I DON’T THINK IT WAS RUDE. YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO USE A PHONE.” TO WHICH SHE REPLIED SOMETHING I DON’T RECALL BECAUSE I PROBABLY WASN’T LISTENING TO WHICH I RESPONDED “YOU NEED TO USE YOUR BRAIN” AND GESTICULATED BY TAPPING MY FINGER TO MY HEAD. I THOUGHT I WAS DONE FOR THEN, BUT SHE DOESN’T RESPECT BEING INTELLIGENT BECAUSE HER REPLY WAS “I KNOW I NEED TO USE MY BRAIN BUT YOU CAN’T BE UNGRATEFUL TO ME,” AND THEN I WANTED TO LAUGH BECAUSE SHE HAD SO COMPLETELY DISREGARDED THE MAIN POINT THAT I JUST COULDN’T DEAL WITH IT AND THEN MUM SAID SOMETHING AND THEY FOUGHT AND AH MA STORMED OFF AND WE WENT TO PICK UP NICK.

WHEN WE GOT BACK AH MA WAS GONE AND SHE DIDN’T JOIN US FOR DINNER WHEN SHE CAME BACK FROM HER WALK AND IT WAS ONLY SLIGHTLY AWKWARD THAT WHEN WE TOLD DAD THE STORY HE WAS COMPLETELY UNSYMPATHETIC TOWARDS HER AND NOBODY MISSED THE LACK OF HER SOUR FACE AT THE TABLE. WHEN SHE DID COME BACK SHE MADE SOME RIDICULOUS STATEMENT ABOUT NEEDING TO GO FOR A WALK TO EASE THE PAIN IN HER HEART (RIDICULOUS DRAMA QUEEN) AND MUM ROLLED HER EYES AND SAID “OH PLEASE FOR GOODNESS SAKE” IN THAT DISDAINFUL TONE WHICH I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE IS VERY CUTTING. AND THEN NICK WAS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE SITUATION TO TAKE THE MICKEY OUT OF HER BY PRETENDING TO BE ON HER SIDE AND SO HE WAS TALKING TO HER AND THEN BLOWING HIS SAXOPHONE REALLY LOUDLY SO IT WAS HARD FOR HER TO TALK AND THEN SHE HAD A WHOLE SPIEL ABOUT HOW YOU MUSTN’T BE “UNGRATEFUL AND DISRESPECTFUL” PRETENDING TO TALK TO NICK BUT ACTUALLY DIRECTING HER WORDS AT ME (ON THE PHONE ON THE COUCH). I COULDN’T ACTUALLY GIVE A SHIT WHAT SHE WAS TRYING TO SAY SO I REMAINED FIXED ON MY PHONE BUT THEN MUM TOLD HER OFF FOR TRYING TO SNEAKY SAY THINGS.

THEN SHE TRIED TO GET NICK TO HELP HER TURN THE TV ON AND HE TAUGHT HER AND THEN NICK AND I WERE SITTING DOING HIS HOMEWORK AND SHE WAS SWITCHING CHANNELS. NICK WAS SURPRISED AND SAID “WELL DONE AH MA, YOU KNOW HOW TO SWITCH THE CHANNELS,” AND SHE FLARED UP AND SAID “YOU DON’T SAY THAT AH MA IS STUPID, SHE KNOWS HOW TO DO THINGS, AND YOU ARE NOT SAYING IN THIS CASE THAT AH MA IS STUPID BUT SHE IS NOT SO HELPLESS AND WITHOUT A BRAIN,” (YES SHE DOES REFER TO HERSELF IN THIRD PERSON) ONCE AGAIN DIRECTED AT ME THROUGH NICK. SHE HAD ALSO EARLIER DROPPED A HINT ABOUT NICK NOT BUYING HER A PRESENT FROM NEW YORK WHICH IS RIDICULOUS AS NICK IS 13. ANYWAY MUM GOT FIRED UP BY THIS BECAUSE I GUESS SHE WAS SICK OF THE BARBS AND JIBES AND THE FACT THAT AH MA WAS USING NICK TO GET BACK AT US AND GRABBED THE REMOTE OFF HER AND SCREAMED “THIS IS MY HOUSE AND WE DO NOT WATCH TV AND DISTRACT OTHER PEOPLE WHILE THE CHILDREN ARE DOING HOMEWORK. TURN IT OFF NOW!” IT SOUNDED LIKE SHE WAS TREATING AH MA LIKE A CHILD WHICH WAS AWKWARD. ANYWAY AH MA FELL INTO A SULKY SILENCE. NICK AND I WERE LAUGHING AT THE AWKWARDNESS THE WHOLE TIME.

THEN NICK AND I INVENTED A GAME WHERE WE HAD TO PUT PENS IN HER CURLERS/ROLLERS WITHOUT HER NOTICING BUT NICK LOST ON THE FIRST TRY, BUT IMMEDIATELY HUGGED HER TELLING HER HOW MUCH HE LOVED HER AND MID-HUG TRYING MULTIPLE TIMES TO GET THE PEN INTO HER HAIR. I SUCCEEDED IN GETTING A TOOTHPICK IN, BUT IT FELL OUT BEFORE SHE NOTICED. THEN BECAUSE I STILL WASN’T SPEAKING TO HER I GAVE HER THE BIBLE BECAUSE SHE WANTED IT TO READ (NOT THAT SHE’S SMART ENOUGH TO ACTUALLY COMPREHEND THE WORDS BUT I SUPPOSE THE FAMILIAR PASSAGES ARE A COMFORT IN HARD TIMES LIKE FIGHTING WITH LEGITIMATELY ALL YOUR FAMILY BECAUSE HALF YOUR FAMILY HAS ALREADY ESTRANGED YOU FOR CALLING THE CHILDREN FAT AND LAZY AND GENERALLY BEING A NEGATIVE BURDEN) AND NICK (THE SUCK-UP LOL) WENT TO GO PRAY WITH HER.

BECAUSE I WAS BEING A BIT OF A BITCH, I CHOSE THAT TIME TO TRY COAX AMBY AND HER BEAR DOWNSTAIRS BECAUSE I’M SLEEPING IN NICK’S ROOM SO AH MA CAN TAKE MINE AND AMBY HAS BEEN SLEEPING WITH US. AMBY WAS GETTING EXCITED AND BOUNCING AROUND AND HER NAILS WERE CLICKING ON THE FLOORS AS SHE DID SO DURING THE PRAYER BUT I DIDN’T CARE. ANYWAY THEN I SAT QUIETLY ON THE STAIRS AND LISTENED TO AH MA AND NICK PRAY. NICK HAS NEVER PRAYED BEFORE SO HE WAS HILARIOUS – HE FORGOT TO PUT AMBY AND HIS FRIENDS DOGS IN THE PRAYER SO HE HAD TO DO IT AGAIN, AND THEN HE ENDED IT WITH “CHEERS GOD.” I THINK IT WAS BRILLIANT – STILL FROM THE HEART AND A MUCH CHEERIER PRAYER THAN AH MA’S DREARY BEGGARING.

THEN AH MA SAID SOMETHING SAPPY AND RIDICULOUS ABOUT HOW JESUS WAS WITHIN MY COMPLETELY UNRELIGIOUS BROTHER AND HOW HE HAD SENT NICK TO CHEER HER UP AND NICK LAPPED IT UP LIKE A GOOD SUCK UP WHICH I TEASED HIM FOR AFTERWARDS. THEN HE TACKLED ME TO TRY HUG ME SO I SAT ON HIM AND PRETENDED I WAS GOING TO SPIT ON HIM IN FUN AND HE CRIED “JESUS HELP ME” IN MOCKERY AND AMBY WAS EXCITED COS WE WERE, SO STARTED BITING HIS HEAD. THEN WHEN MUM CAME IN TO SEND US TO BED HE SAID “THE INDIAN MAN WITH THE STICK DIDN’T COME, SO JESUS IS OBVIOUSLY NOT REAL, MUM,” ALLUDING TO A STORY AH MA TOLD US ABOUT A DOG WHICH ATTACKED HER AND WHEN SHE CRIED JESUS CHRIST HELP ME AN INDIAN MAN CAME WITH A STICK TO CHASE THE GOD AWAY AND WE ALL LAUGHED.

ANYWAY IT WAS PROBABLY THE MOST DRAMATIC (HOPEFULLY) DRAMA-WISE DAY YESTERDAY IT WILL EVER BE AND TODAY AH MA IS BEING EVEN MORE (IF POSSIBLE) SULKY AND NEGATIVE AND GAVE ME A LECTURE ON BEING YOUNG THAT’S WHY I SPEAK THAT WAY TO HER AND STILL MAKING SNIDE COMMENTS TO TRY AND UNBALANCE ME BECAUSE SHE’S UNHAPPY I’VE STILL REFUSED TO SAY SORRY. IT’S HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE MADE ME TAKE A PICTURE WITH JUST NICK TO REMEMBER THE OCCASION LOL AND THEN SHE WAS ON THE PHONE WITH SAM OUR COUSIN, MADE IT POINTED TO SAY I LOVE YOU AND THAT SAM IS A VERY GOOD SISTER AS IF I WASN’T. IT’S A SHAME I FIND IT ALL SO PATHETIC REALLY THAT IT HAS NO EFFECT. SHE WENT OUT WITH GRANT HER PRIEST BOYFRIEND WHO IS 41 AND THEREFORE MUST BE A COMPLETE AND UTTER WEIRDO TO RING HER AND TAKE HER OUT. GRANT TOOK HER TO THE BANK (YAWN). ANYWAY THANK GOODNESS I LEAVE FOR SYDNEY ON SUNDAY BECAUSE I CAN’T REALLY SEE HER VISIT IMPROVING OUR RELATIONSHIP ANY. THAT’S MY RECAP OF THE DAY ANYWAY, MORE A DRAMATIC RANT THAN ANY PROPER RECAP, BUT – IT BE LIKE THAT SOMETIMES. ‘TILL THE NEXT ENTRY!