#also hi yes this is a new personal art blog i got too deep into reblogging on my other acc so thats the designated rb account

[cookiedoughfox]

is this anything

[gatheredfates]

Hi everyone! It's been a hot minute since I did a Compendium update, but I promise I'm not dead. For those who don't know, I got a new job! That meant pretty much the entirety of October was spent wrapping up my old job, going to my new site and trying to learn the new one. I'm on break in approximately two weeks, yay! ☃️

These updates will take on a wintery/Starlight theme to celebrate the season, much like All Saints. I hope you enjoy.

Additionally, myself and the lovely folks at SEAFLOOR are having a Catch up (for) Starlight Challenge! You should join us if you're interested. ❄️

However, without further the following communities have been added to Sea's Community Compendium for XIV Creatives.

LARGE SCALE

The Help Lines—We are a community-based discord to be used to play the critically acclaimed MMORPG Final Fantasy XIV. We host almost all content including DRS and BA, Raiding, Deep Dungeons, Blue Mage and more. Our mission is to create a welcoming space for any individual in need of assistance to reach out and accomplish their FFXIV goals in a toxicity-free environment.

The Aether Entertainer—Founded in 2021 on Aether, The Aether Entertainer is player-made virtual magazine covering music, theatre, art, current events, and Eorzean popular culture.

LORE

Final Flowery XIV—Compiled by ann0yance(bsky)/@sa8oteur, this guide explores the various flowers in XIV, comparing them to their real-world equivalents and meanings.

On Elementals, Accountability and Criticism—An essay written by @morgana96 that explores the lore of elementals and their place in Gridania (and beyond)!

MISC

Vanilla Gpose Tips by Winterdeepelegy—A how-to guide on effectively utilising the vanilla gpose tools to create visually stunning screenshots, written by @winterdeepelegy.

WoL Reference Sheet—Created by @coldshrugs, a handy WoL reference sheet you can build in Canva!

NA GPOSE Studio/Themed Housing Directory—A player-made repository of North American Gpose studios and themed houses!

CHANGELOG

The Scholar's of Nym—The link has been modified at the request of the owner.

Skystone Co.—Has been removed at the request of its owner.

UI Macro Menus—The link has been modified to accurately reflect the bookmark.

Have you thought about joining our Tumblr Community? You can find it here!

Want to submit? You can either fill out the google form here or send me an ask with the relevant information!

Is my space suitable for the Compendium? Most of the time, yes! Below the read more is some more information/stipulations. This is all publicly available on the document. 🦌

Below are the following things I do not accept on the Compendium:

Personal/Single-Character LFC ads. (Though these get posted to the SEAFLOOR Tumblr Community when I find them!)

Content intended for or can be used for bullying, harassment and OOC gossip. E.g. ‘Secrets’ blogs, receipts, callout posts, etc. This does not include IC tabloid blogs or other ventures used to generate roleplay.

Communities that do not have an RP/writing element (large-scale exempt).

Anything I find personally distasteful or goes against the spirit of this project.

Common-sense rule applies.

I want to put my community on the Compendium but we have an application process. Is this okay?

Yes! Just note somewhere in your application that's a requirement. The only thing that is mandatory for the Compendium is that you must be open to new members or have a public-facing/accessible facet. There's no point advertising a community if no one can join it in some way!

I want to put my Community on the compendium but I only have x number of members —

Also totally okay! People don't start with large communities. Activity is a must but, whether your server has two or two thousand members, if you're looking for new people to join, I'd love to help you find people.

I want to put my community/resource on the Compendium but I worry its too niche?

Okay, and? If your Eorzean Fishing Alliance has four members but you roleplay every second weekend, I still want to know about it. The same goes for resources; if it's relevant to the game, it'll be useful to someone.

How active does a community need to be?

If you find a community has not been active in about two/three months, send me a message and I'll take a look at it. Communities have ebbs and flows, especially event spaces that may take hiatuses depending on member interest/life events. I'm not strict in my implementation provided a space isn't dead. If a link or anything is broken, contact me asap!

I have [insert a question not stated here]?

No drama! Send me an ask or use the #Compendium channel in my Discord!

[starcanwrecked-confessions]

Taking a break from retirement. I don't follow this blog (because the posts here can get a bit too intense sometimes), but when I get bored and miss StarKid (or check if my anon posts got published or reacted to), I do read the posts here. Here’s what I think about the current posts I’ve read.

Why do people who apparently dislike or hate Robert Manion still talk about him, even though the events happened a few years ago? Please ask yourselves this. Sure, he committed his wrongdoings back in 2020 and/or 2021, but is three years not enough to stop talking about it? People generally know his actions were bad. Even those who don't know him or know nothing about SK understand that harassing someone romantically and sexually online and saying insensitive or uninformed things is wrong. (If I miss something or I'm being vague about it, it’s because I avoid that Robert topic and vaguely remember what he actually said online. I don't care to read about them again because I know what's right and what's wrong.)

I don't even hate Robert, probably because I left the fandom when he joined. When I came back, he was no longer a part of SK.

To those who are new, please read Robert's fandom wiki page and look up information online about why he left and the controversies surrounding him in SK’s past. There’s no need to add to the discourse about someone whom StarKid carefully mentions online because of what happened—trust me, there’s already more than enough awareness about it online.

I remember they did not even tag Robert in their IG post about the Twisted anniversary, but they did post his character's photo. Joey briefly mentioned him while talking about TGWDLM or BF during the CC Kickstarter livestreams.

Note, expressing that you miss or wish Robert had stayed because you enjoyed his performances will likely attract replies about what he did, and they often repeat the same things. It’s probably best to avoid this.

He was a good and funny performer, then he made some mistakes, and he left SK.

And yes, Robert still talks and works with Jon Matteson and maybe a few other SK members. They probably made amends. Deal with it. It's their lives and friendships.

P.S. I block Robert Manion tags here on Tumblr, but I’m still curious why he is still discussed by fans as a person and what he did, rather than just as a performer. I can understand fans talking about his past creative work with SK, like how good of a performer he was and about his characters.

P.S.S. This is not an invitation to add more discourse or anon posts about him. If you want to react to this, there’s a comment section under this post and I might reply.

Will there still be a lot of discourse/posts about Rob’s actions in the next 5 or 10 years? Hopefully not, as we all get older and the active and older SK members will be in their 40s or 50s. Heck, they might even talk about him again and maybe open up about what he did (again) as a reflection, kind of like a deep-dive history documentary, when SK reaches their 20th or 30th anniversary or something.

I could say more about this but I'm just gonna say the biggest on my mind after reading this

I think a big reason people still talk is actually to inform fans who don't know, also it can be hard to seperate his performance from him, art vs artists

For you maybe not since you weren't part of the fandom while he was here but for many people he was MASSIVE part starkid and loved by many

Just because it's been 3 years doesn't mean people have to stop talking about it and should only think of the good parts of him, again it's pretty hard to do that

Also "note, expressing that you miss or wish Robert had stayed because you enjoyed his performances will likely attract replies about what he did, and they often repeat the same things. It's probably best to avoid this" what are you getting at here? First off although I can understand being nostalgic for before this all happened sure I'd honestly hope no one who knows what happened actually truly wishes he stayed, he sexually harassed someone in starkid, I don't think he should stay in the same company as the person he harassed. Second yeah people commenting about what he did are going to repeat the same things? Bc they are explaing what the bad things he did were? You can't add on or makr stuff very different when explaing what the bad things someone did were.

[dontforgetyourmedstoday]

So you just steal artwork and don't care? Got it. Either that or my ask asking about sources from your posts on April 8th disappeared. Or I guess you could be off tumblr and not have been here for two weeks.

Hi Anon,

I'm assuming this is you:

If it is, yes, I did see your last ask - but life has been a bit shit lately and frankly, I didn't have the emotional bandwidth to deal with an accusatory email that gave me absolutely no details about what you were upset about so I could investigate. So today, despite it being an incredibly long and shit one that isn't over I'm going to reply.

*Takes a deep breath* From this point forward I'm going to assume that, like me, you are just a real-live human with feelings that get hurt and not someone who just likes to yell at people on the internet. So let me apologise that I have used your artwork without attribution, it was in no way my intention. Please take this apology as someone who was just trying to amuse themselves and perhaps help some other people out by reminding them to take their meds too. I absolutely suck at art-type things so in my mind, no one would think I did them or was claiming the actual 'art' part of them as mine. I realise now this is the internet, you guys don't know me, and so I should have been clearer that nearly all of these are edits. (There are a few waaaaay back I actually drew myself). Looking at the 7th, 8th & 9th of April (allowing for time zones and assuming that's when you saw your artwork). All of them except one have a link at the bottom of the image that links back to where I sourced the original image - I don't know if this is visible on mobile so I'll show it below (the bit circled in red)

So I'm assuming this one is yours:

It seems that one doesn't have the link. I don't know why. I haven't made any new reminders for this blog in ages (again - life) - it seems like most of the ones from early April this year were originally posted back in 2021. I got briefly excited about this blog again a few months ago and loaded up a bunch of old ones so this blog was still functional for the people that find it helpful. Going back I have noticed that others seem to not have credit either. It is possible I made a mistake and forgot to add them. It's also possible that Tumblr has a had a glitch/error/weirdness which means it's disappeared. I also used a bunch of images from the editing app I was using to add the reminder message and I wish I could remember what the site was called because I cannot for the life of me remember. Honestly, who knows. I have deleted the post(s) with that image - if it's not the right one please let me know.

I have always gone out of my way to ensure that anything I use is either free use, or non-commercial under Creative Commons. As an aside, I'm an academic and a person who has artist friends and my partner runs a business where our customers are largely designers and artists, so I do actually do my best to give credit. Am I perfect - no I'm not. Part of the reason I stopped making new posts was because of difficulty giving credit even on images that were non-attribution and finding images where I knew what the attribution requirements were (along with trying to remember everything everyone asked me to tag, and doing the image descriptions etc.) If anyone else finds something of theirs in one of my posts and there isn't credit attached please either dm me or send an ask and let me know which post and how you would like to be credited and I'll add it in. If you want it removed, I'm happy to do that too.

Sorry for the long post, hope it helps to clear things up. Finally, let me take this opportunity to say

"Don't forget your meds today my friends"

[blonde-and-cat-suc]

I really wanna start an anti catradora blog since there are so few but idk where to start, can you please give me some tips?

Well! First of, I'm very excited that this side of fandom will be getting another participant, and second of all, I'm very flattered that this question is going to me! I'm always happy to give some support xoxo!

All of my tips are going to be from personal experience both from my time generally engaging with fandom, and running this particular blog.

/ / / /

1 ) Try to be polite.

Yes, you will get people who disagree with you. The very existence of anti-fandom implies that we are not the norm. The majority of our main fandom already disagrees with us. And they might be assholes about it. Don't tolerate rudeness, but also, try not to feed into it, either. Not only is it terrible for mental health as the blogger, but it perpetuates this idea that the blogger in question reacts to negative attention. Which, if you've been on the Internet long enough, you know very well how quickly negativity breeds if it's allowed. Positivity breeds too, so I think it's in anyone's best interest to simply... Not be an asshole. Even if it means being the bigger person for a moment.

2 ) Pick and choose your battles.

"Battles" is a melodramatic way to put it, but I'm only using it because it's a well known saying. Anyway, this part is from the first part. So... the thing about being "the bigger person" is that... it doesn't always happen. I definitely don't let everything go by me without snapping at it sometimes. Well, I just think it's funny. I used to think it was way funnier in the past, too. Sometimes anon hate/fandom takes are really stupid and it's hilarious to share. But if it's not funny, insightful, or you simply don't want to engage... Don't engage.

3 ) Connect!

Anti-fandom is still fandom, and I personally treat it as such! There's still art to enjoy, stories to read, discussions to be shared. Community is not necessary, but when I was first putting out anti-c//a posts it really helped me to know that there were people that like, didn't think I was insane for pointing out things that bothered me! Especially since my choice in writing anti-c//a/crit fics is not an easy medium and well, to be honest, sort of requires that I know someone out there enjoys the fruit of my labor.

Yes, spop antis are limited, but go say 'hi' to the people that are open to engagement! We're mostly pretty friendly, and in my opinion, open-minded.

4 ) You are required to have an "on the nose" blog name.

NO, okay, I'm being totally facetious! Obviously, name the blog whatever you want, I just laugh when I see a new anti blog and it's something like "catra-needs-jail-time" or "catradora-is-dogshit". They're a handful of bloggers like that, if you want more to follow (the two I just named are jokes... As far as I know).

The real advice to be clear that your blog is anti-catradora/critical; or whatever other stances you'll talk about often. Nothing personal if that's not what you want, but make it easily found that you're not open to certain things, or you are open to certain things. I.e. I think that C//a are pretty obviously adopted sisters canon, and that point is very purposefully the first post on my blog (has been for two years), so no one is surprised when I start ranting about sister!c//a in particular.

5 ) It is never, EVER that deep.

Part of anti/crit blogging is that there's salt involved. Ranting, sharing things that frustrate us, being annoyed with canon... But also, it's really not that deep.

If I would have got this question two years before, I would have not added this part. But yeah, no. Part of why I run this blog still is because I know it's simply not that serious... People will steadily find my blog and the others in this community, and they will come around to their own conclusions on their own time. There is no trying to convince someone else on a POV that they simply don't want to see. There is no war against anti fandom and main fandom (though, some will have you believe otherwise).

The bloggers that are still active and open about unpopular opinions in 2023 are not people that stress themselves out or respond to every braindead take, they're not people who get attacked/overwhelmed by stans very often, they're not rude, they're not close-minded-- actually, I would go as far as to say that they're extremely fucking chill about this hobby. Passionate and dedicated, but self aware and self-respecting of mental capital/health.

And so, that'd have to be my last piece of advice.. Chill. It's just not that deep. And if it ever becomes "deep"... take a million steps back, and give yourself that space to recuperate. Your mental state is infinitely more important than an anti-blog, and no one will judge you for taking breaks or anything as you'll need them.

/ / / /

[tsunbunni]

It's been a long time since I posted Cieladd ( maybe 2 weeks? 1 month?), and so today it is the same. So I think about doing something special about today. I'm going to quest myself about Cieladd (more about myself ) and answer it. If you don't like reading then just skip it. But if you read it then I welcome you.

When did I grad myself into this ship? This is when Ciel and Lu got leak and announced in the game. I only ship them for fun because of how good-looking Ciel is and how I love Add so much (at that time, I'm AddEve fan lmaoo). But when I got to know Ciel's personality, habits, and even his past. I've become more deep into this ship.

Reson why I'm shipping Cieladd? Because they have a surprising similarity, and I don't think anyone can understand the suffering they went through, except them. For how Ciel and Add both lost their dear family (Ciel's sister/Add's mother), when they got new friend but end up losing them too, and how when they got into the revenge stuff (of course Ciel's revenge is done, but not Add). So when I think about if they become friend and Add just feel safe around Ciel, and then begin to tell him a few about himself to Ciel, Ciel might feel the connection between them and try to help Add out of his madness ( which I assume is in their's class 1, their both being inspire by each other or try to become stronger than the other)

Which class couple I like the most? Of course, class 3, Demonio and DE is my favorite. Oh how I love sad boy and mad boy. I always know that in which class, Ciel always thinks Add is the good person, even if this little boy is just up to something weird again, he is so nice and warm heart to cares about others ( Lu first and then the other, but Lu just can protect herself well and play around with someone in the El's team). How can he not care about the boy, who is likely more into something else than his own health. And more more but might too long to write it down.

Do I don't like the other couple in Cieladd? No! of course not! Class 1 is fun, because they just want to competition each other but in the cool way. I like how baby PT (add) admire big brother Ciel and become strong LP (and got Deadlord praise and both pratice with each other). And how cute DL keep miss baby PT and how end up Doom appear to have hair hide his right eye again and a fur coat. Absysser didn't know that Doom is that kind of jelous man, even if that it his younger self (how cute~Abysser loves Doom more and more after that) Class 2, RG (ciel) is care about MM (add), MM keep work and work and work! RG can't allow this baby to keep losing weight anymore. MM only let RG take care of him (because brother Ciel give him lot of cookies when their are basic class). There are grow up lover, or maybe old married couple? and damn Lu don't like sharing her dear (brother/bulter) with someone, but it's fun and their have set thing done in the end. Class 4 is still new to me and I haven't get to know well about them both. But I like to think that Add being a doctor and take care of Ciel depression. The change of who being the healer and who is being heal.

How long I can keep loving Cieladd? I don't know but I already into this ship more than 7 years now, I think I can keep going another more years? kekeke~ But I don't promise about the time I might post my arts, because I have things in my life too (and how I really depress too or scare of the unknow and lock myself up, nah~kidding).

Will I keep this blog ? Yes, this is my cieladd home, my first blog and the big step in social media (I was so scare of people and avoid communication with other). This blog is precious to me and Cieladd memories too. There some are happy when the first time I got a fan, having a lot of like and some reblog, the courage to open ask and answer some. There also sad one when I sad of how people doesn't like Cieladd, how I run away for few years unpost and hide myself, how I blame myself for being coward, making excuse,... But this is how I slowly level up myself. Looking back make my heart feel like warm and so glad that I didn't let thing end just like that.

Anything else to said? (I'm out of question to myself now =v= damn) Cieladd is love! Cieladd is life!!!! I don't care that I can't play the game (free player is hard) but Cieladd is still the best to me! Not only the reason I'm shipping them, but also the energy their give to me so that finally make this blog and bring love to people how strugger to find hope in crack ship that being hate for no reason (yes, everyone have to right to ship what they want. You don't like it then skip, pass, block,... don't talk harsh things ) Well, I don't want to keep people hope in this blog and I don't like keep my fan wait. I hope that you can find time and check my arts or forget about this home if you want (the game is old and not really famous tbh) I will always happy to welcome you to my cieladd home, thank anyone that keep support me and following me until now, you're all the best gift in my life, i love you all like i love cieladd. I won't be sad now, and will be back with Cieladd stuff, AU or random things like I used to. Thank you again, who read this until now (or none)

[kylekozmikdeluxo]

Here's a big reason why I sympathize with Martin Scorsese over all the endless flack he gets for a few concerns he had about superhero/tentpole movies and their effects on the overall cinema landscape...

About three years ago, in the midst of pre-vaccine COVID times, I was deep into my Beach Boys hyperfixation. At the time, I maintained a wordpress blog called "Kyle Loves Animation and More". On it, I decided to do a personal deep dive into Beach Boys album released in the early 1970s called SUNFLOWER and SURF'S UP.

I related a lot of my own neurodivergent experiences to the way Brian Wilson, a neurodivergent himself (and possibly autistic, like me), wrote songs in his idiosyncratic ways. It was a pretty long article, and I felt I put a lot into it. I tried to understand the thought process behind the songs, relating some historical context, and my own personal views on the music.

I was once part of a Facebook group dedicated to all things Beach Boys, and I decided to post the article there. It got some pretty decent marks from the community there, but there was this one man... Who presumably grew up in the '60s/'70s when their music was new, unlike me, a 1992 baby who was introduced to the Beach Boys' music via their parents... This one man found this ONE sentence in the article...

Where I remarked that the album 20/20 was "fascinatingly uneven"... I didn't even mean "uneven" in a bad way, but as a matter of fact... And he got soooooo upset... And made one comment about that... How dare I use the word "uneven" to describe the genre buffet/half made-up-of-leftovers album 20/20!

So I tried to explain, calmly, what I meant by that... And he didn't respond to me. He said to another commenter "who cares about the history of the album? the music is good!" To another commenter. Not to me directly... Passive-aggressive, much?

And also, as an artist MYSELF, I do very much CARE about the history of any given piece of art... What circumstances lead to the creation of this thing? What drove the artist? Yes, I care about the history, too! It's a fixation of mine!

...

Anyways, Scorsese. Marvel movies.

I totally get it.

Here, Scorsese is trying to make new films, new statements through the cinematic art form, openly worrying about his age and whether he has enough years left to tell more stories... He's openly reflecting about life itself, how he feels... He has an entire legacy of films behind him that far outweighs the entirety of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (and I'm saying this as someone who likes the MCU and has seen at least 85% of the movies in THEATERS), one film of his alone arguably does that...

And yet all some people care about is whether he regards THOR: LOVE AND THUNDER as a work of art or not...

And ironically, a director like Francis Ford Coppola has said even more scathing things about Marvel movies... But he doesn't get an *ounce* of the flack Scorsese continues to get... And this was WELL AFTER Scorsese took the time to explain what he meant...

So yeah, I find that all so frustrating. If I were Scorsese having to read all of that (he probably doesn't, good for him), I'd be so goddamn frustrated lol.

(As an aside, on my other tumblr, I did a little article analyzing the current trajectory of superhero movies and how they are evolving, or need to evolve, in a post-ENDGAME world... I put a ton of paragraphs and research into it... And I got this one comment that was like "hush"... From an MCU stan... See what I mean?)

[salsakiyoomi]

Hi!! Congrats on 1k followers, your blog theme is super gorgeous <3

Could I please get a matchup for stranger things?

My persona -

Personality - It takes me a while to feel comfortable around new people but once I do, I become really talkative and outgoing. I love helping out and I'm the therapist friend, people come to me to vent or for advice and comfort. I'm smart and ambitious; I love being the best at everything I do, but I'm deathly afraid of failure and disappointing the people I love. I'm quite the hopeless romantic and I love being in love! I adore big and small romantic gestures and I love domesticity sm!! I also daydream a lot and I can get lost in my own world for hours. I can be quite dramatic and stubborn and I tend to be withdrawn and distant at times. I get frustrated easily and I'm quietly competitive. My love languages are acts of service and quality time. I'm a ravenclaw, my mbti is infp and my enneagram is 4w3!

Zodiac - taurus!

Ideal type and Favorite trope - best friends to lovers!!! I'm obsessed with having a person just be your person throughout your life. Someone who knows you inside out, gets you better than anyone else, has seen the best and the worst parts of yourself, someone you're completely comfortable and at ease with, someone you know and trust blindly. idk, I just love the idea very much 😭😭

Favorite season - definitely fall

Hobbies- I love reading, my favorite genres are poetry, Russian lit, and mysteries! I love learning about new things and knowing a little bit of everything. I adore adventures, witty and playful banter, joking around and having indepth discussions on anything and everything! I adore all forms of art and I have quite a few creative hobbies! I listen to a lot of modern/indie rock and I love watching films very much! I really enjoy dressing up and playing around with makeup.

Thank you very much! I'm very sorry if this got too long, I got carried away 😭 can't wait to explore more of your blog, your Miguel x reader was a delight <3

Congrats once again on your milestone, I hope you have a lovely day ❤️

HONEYMOON MATCHUP WITH : EDDIE MUNSON

— honeymoon

eddie has always loved you, since the moment you saved him from those stupid bullies in second grade, even though the two of you got beat up — you still asked him if he was okay, and of course he said yes, he was amazed by how brave you were back then and how you stood up for him, a kid you've never met before and one who had a reputation for being a freak — nevertheless, ever since that moment, the two of you stuck together like glue, and you grew up to be close friends, or maybe something more than just friends — not that eddie would ever go over that line.

it started in second year of highschool when eddie realized he might've felt something more for you than just regular friends — which was weird because you never expressed anything that said you were interested in him like that — ignoring the way you usually hugged him too tightly or the sloppy kisses you placed on his cheeks, at first it was okay and normal, but ever since his fat crush on you, his heart always leapt to his throat whenever you made contact with him. he was starting to see you more than a friend with every passing day, and god, it was no good for him —he knew he needed to stop, needed to get this thoughts out of his mind and bury his feeling deep and take them with him to the grave, but he couldn't help it, couldn't help staring at you for too long, couldn't help craving your touch, couldn't help thinking about the way your lips could press up — no, no, he can't think like that.

and then came the late afternoon where the two of you were sitting by your secret spot — the bench in the woods, as eddie liked to call it ( he said it sounded ominous ) you weren't sitting on the bench, no, eddie sat up by a tree bark with your head resting in his lap, rambling on about the new album of your favorite band, while the light of the setting sun bounced on your face perfectly, defining your features and adding a golden glimmer to your already sparkling eyes — eddie wasn't listening to a word you were saying, his gaze dead set on your lips, how the moved, how pretty and plump they looked, and before he even knew it, he was leaning over, pressing his lips to yours, tasting the cherry lip balm you always wore tat made your lips pink and shiny and so irresistible— it was only to his surprise that you kissed him back.

— what's on the radio : me and your mama, childish gambino

a/n : i love eddie's hair sm, ty for the request <3 also i think you're really cool

[nickgerlich]

Photo Finish

Sometimes a company just can’t get a break. Once a group of detractors have sunk their claws into you, they will seize every opportunity they get to dig a little deeper.

Just ask Target, the beleaguered retailer that recently posted its first sales revenue decline in years, and last June took hellish heat for its Pride Month merchandise. Ultra-conservatives not only bullied the company into moving the merchandise displays farther back in the store, but also found customers assaulting employees, as if those persons were somehow guilty by association.

In the last few days, another social media outcry arose, one perhaps fueled by the Easter season. If you saw photos of pentagrams on shirts and even a goat-headed mannequin inside a Target store, you may have raised your eyebrows. It certainly did for those who already have it out for Target.

It’s just that it was all fake, the result of AI-generated art. Never mind that the artist identifies as a satanist. He fessed up to his artistic shenanigans, which he created to poke back at last year’s malcontents who had argued Target was selling satanic-themed children’s clothes as part of its Pride collection.

But his joke has multiple implications. It spun out of control—perhaps as he intended—but forced Target into the public eye once more. They then had to respond, and no amount of denying is going to convince minds already hardened against you. I doubt those people will see the artist’s confession, and they will go on hating and boycotting.

And then there is the much larger problem of AI art. Yes, the artist intentionally duped conservatives, whom he correctly predicted would come unglued. But it could happen to anyone, because AI art is pretty good. In fact, it is too good, and if you’re not careful, you too might swallow a deep fake.

Take, for example, the photos circulating online of Biden and Trump as buddies. At first blush, they might elicit an “Awww!” until you realize there is no way in hell that the two would ever be seen together, much less baking pies, knitting, and camping.

If you thought that misinformation was rampant during COVID and the last presidential election, you ain’t seen nothing yet. Words and phrases are one thing; photos are quite another.

It all means that companies need to be ever diligent in monitoring the online arena for potentially malicious content. It may look very convincing, but could be damning at the same time, as Target just found out. Someone’s big joke got out of hand.

Of course, the proliferation of AI art also means that everyone has a degree of plausible deniability. Just dismiss anything you think is embarrassing or indicting as a deep fake. It’ll be hard to prove you wrong.

Meanwhile, what passes for art may be as bogus as a term paper created in less than a minute by ChatGPT. It’s just that the latter is actually pretty easy to sniff out, while manufactured photos can be very convincing.The days of anyone getting a break may be drawing to a close, and Target is just the latest example of a company faced with this new reality.

Dr “Who Needs Photographers Anyway?” Gerlich

Audio Blog

[thetechinsiderblogs]

Unleashing the Magic: Generative AI Use Cases Beyond Boundaries

Hey there, tech enthusiasts! Today, we’re diving deep into the world of Generative AI Use Cases, unraveling its mysteries, and exploring the mind-blowing applications that go beyond the conventional boundaries. So buckle up, because we’re about to embark on a journey into the realms of creativity and innovation!

Table of Contents:-

What in the World is Generative AI?

Applications That Make You Go “Wow!”

1. Artistic Wonders: Beyond Copy-Paste

2. Wordsmith in the Digital Realm

The Role of Generative AI in Drug Discovery: A Game-Changer

Real-Life Applications: Generative AI Use Cases Beyond Buzzwords

1. Tailored Shopping Experiences: Bye-Bye Generic Recommendations

2. Virtual Fashion Design: Dress to Impress, Virtually

3. Music That Strikes a Chord: Composing Beyond Notes

Closing Thoughts: Generative AI, the Co-Pilot of Creativity

What in the World is Generative AI?

First things first, let’s break down the tech lingo. Generative AI is like the Picasso of the digital era. It’s not just about following patterns; it’s about creating them. Imagine a computer with a paintbrush crafting original content, whether it’s images, music, or even text, without mimicking existing data. It’s like having an AI buddy with an imagination.

Applications That Make You Go “Wow!”

Now, let’s talk about the real fun stuff — the mind-blowing applications of Generative AI that make you scratch your head in amazement.

1. Artistic Wonders: Beyond Copy-Paste

Ever heard of an AI Picasso? Generative AI is revolutionizing the art scene. It’s not just about recreating classics; it’s about generating entirely new pieces that can rival the works of human artists. We’re talking about algorithms creating visual masterpieces that leave you wondering, “Did a computer really do that?”

2. Wordsmith in the Digital Realm

Generative AI isn’t just about pretty pictures. It’s flexing its linguistic muscles too. From writing poetry that tugs at your heartstrings to crafting compelling blog posts (yes, like this one!), Generative AI is giving Shakespeare a run for his money. It’s not just stringing words together; it’s about creating narratives that resonate with the human soul.

The Role of Generative AI in Drug Discovery: A Game-Changer

Now, let’s get a bit serious. Imagine if I told you that Generative AI is not just a maestro in the arts but also a hero in the field of science. Hold on to your hats because it’s playing a crucial role in drug discovery.

In the labyrinth of molecules and compounds, Generative AI acts as a guide, helping scientists navigate through the complexities of drug development. It’s not a replacement for human intellect but a companion, suggesting novel chemical structures that might have slipped through the cracks of traditional research. This isn’t just about efficiency; it’s about potentially saving lives by speeding up the discovery of life-changing medications.

Real-Life Applications: Generative AI Use Cases Beyond Buzzwords

Now, let’s cut through the jargon and explore how Generative AI isn’t just a buzzword but a real game-changer in our day-to-day lives.

1. Tailored Shopping Experiences: Bye-Bye Generic Recommendations

You know those eerily accurate product recommendations that pop up when you’re online shopping? Well, you can thank Generative AI for that. It’s not just analyzing your past purchases; it’s understanding your preferences, predicting what you might like, and ensuring that your online shopping experience feels as personalized as strolling through your favorite boutique.

2. Virtual Fashion Design: Dress to Impress, Virtually

Generative AI isn’t just crunching numbers; it’s got an eye for style too. Fashion designers are leveraging this tech marvel to create virtual prototypes and predict trends. It’s not just about following the fashion herd; it’s about setting trends that make heads turn. Who knew your virtual closet could be as stylish as your real one?

3. Music That Strikes a Chord: Composing Beyond Notes

Generative AI isn’t just playing the same old tunes. It’s composing music that transcends genres and takes you on a sonic journey. It’s about generating melodies that tug at your heartstrings or beats that make you want to hit the dance floor. Generative AI isn’t just making music; it’s composing symphonies that resonate with the rhythm of your soul.

Closing Thoughts: Generative AI, the Co-Pilot of Creativity

As we wrap up this mind-bending exploration of Generative AI, one thing is clear while going through Generative AI Use Cases — it’s not here to replace us; it’s here to enhance us. It’s the co-pilot of creativity, guiding us through uncharted territories and sparking innovation in ways we couldn’t have imagined.

So, the next time someone mentions Generative AI, don’t just think of lines of code; think of a digital companion, a partner in crime, pushing the boundaries of what’s possible. After all, in a world driven by zeros and ones, Generative AI is the hero with a heart, making technology not just smarter but also more human. Cheers to the future — where creativity knows no bounds! 🚀

[dashboarddiaries]

Dashboard Diaries is a production of Atypical Artists, hosted by Lauren Shippen (@thelaurenshippen) and Cher McAnelly (@overchers). Our theme was composed by Lauren Shippen and mixed by Brandon Grugle. Art by Shae McMullin. Transcription by Laudable.

For bonus clips, ad-free episodes, and more, become a patron at atypicalartists.co/support.

[intro music]

Lauren: Hello, Boopers! I’m Cher McAnelly, Head of Entertainment at Tumblr. And year ‘round fool.

Cher: And I’m Lauren Shippen, professional writer who hates all April Fool’s pranks except for the ones that Tumblr does. 

Lauren: And this is Dashboard Diaries ... and April Fools! I’m actually Lauren.

Cher: And I’m actually Cher. 

And this is a podcast for you – the folks who are in this internet bunker with us. We talk about what’s going on in our favorite hell site, get into what we like to call “tumbl-lore,” do fandom deep dives, and share the times when we’ve gone feral over a new ship.

So, Lauren, what has your last month on Tumblr been like? What’s been afoot?

Lauren: O gosh. It’s been wonderful. I mean, we’re going to talk about it in depth but I just had so much fun with the Boop o’meter or whatever. I did it on both of my blogs. My Lauren Shippen blog and then also my personal one. And the Lauren Shippen blog in terms of boops received – it kept maxing out. And it was like “OMG” or “Please” or “Help” or ... (laughter) the number of boops received. And I’ve got my little boop badge now. I wasn’t able to send too many just because I had to do my work. But it was so much fun. 

And then I’ll be talking about this more later in my Feels Corner because I have so many feels about it but just the 911 fandom has been having a moment over the last couple of weeks. And I have really, really been enjoying that. Although I have stayed off of Tumblr for basically the last five days because I haven’t watched the most recent 911 episode because I was in Texas for the eclipse. And that was unbelievably cool. This is not about my last month on Tumblr – this is about my last month as a human being. But yeah, me and my partner went to ... he’s from Texas originally so we went and stayed with his family and we saw the totality. The weather literally cleared for the moment of totality. We got a perfect view. It was unreal. 

I see why people fly around the world chasing total eclipses, because it was so cool! Yeah, just the majesty of the universe is really something to behold. So, that’s where I’m at. I’m grooving along. How about you?

Cher: So, you’re just amazed at the universe in which we live and trying to avoid 911 spoilers.

Lauren: Yes, exactly.

Cher: Which we contain multitudes. 

Lauren: You really do.

Cher: Yeah, I can’t believe you saw the totality. That is incredible. I am very jealous. 

Lauren: It was genuinely wild. And the things that they say of the temperature dropping and the crickets starting up and the birds going nuts and all that kind of ... it all happened. And then the moment that you look up at it without the glasses is just like ... it feels like all of a sudden you’re in a Star Wars movie or something. It looks like something out of a sci fi movie. It’s crazy. Did you see it in New York? You guys got 90%, right? 

Cher: Yeah. We got 90% so I went and sat out in my backyard for an hour and I had forgotten to get eclipse glasses until the day before. But I was like, I must do this. So, I just googled “eclipse glasses Brooklyn” and I was able to order them from 7 Eleven on Door Dash. 

Lauren: Oh my god. Incredible!

Cher: I had a very ... this is not an ad for Door Dash but it could be if you want to pay us, Door Dash. 

Lauren: Yes, please!

Cher: I had a very confused man drive up to my house with just ... I was like – it would be weird to just order the glasses, right? So, I also ordered Doritos. Also, Doritos – if you want to pay us ... 

(laughter)

Lauren: Official sponsor of the eclipse. 

Cher: So, yeah. I was there watching the eclipse with my door dash purchased glasses, eating my DoritosTM. But no, it was truly amazing. I ordered two pairs just to be safe. Not to wear two at once because I don’t know if I would have even been able to see anything. But I tried to use one of them to shade my phone so that I could take some photos with my phone. I’m not a photographer. I don’t think I’ll ever be in the photography space based on the photos that I got. But I did post one on my Tumblr. So, we can re-blog it to Dashboard Diaries. I think it really shows the majesty of the universe. And also just so you can really see ... I’ll just drop it in here right now.

Lauren: Yes, please!

Cher: I feel like you need to ... you saw totality but this is what I saw. So, I mean ... potato potato. 

Lauren: Who’s really winning? 

Cher: Yeah. 

Lauren: Oh, there it is. Perfect. (laughs) Incredible picture. Absolutely outstanding.

Cher: Thank you very much. (laughs)

Lauren: I also had a really hard time. I took a photo without glasses and everything during the totality and it’s just impossible to see anything. You can’t do it. But then on Tumblr I saw people ... everyone was saying it’s amazing to see everybody’s eclipse photos and stuff but nothing will ever beat the one from 2017 of the eclipse over the Waffle House. I don’t know if you saw this. I’ll find it and re-blog it. It’s genuinely very good. 

Cher: Oh my ... what a beautiful world in which we live. You know?

Lauren: With eclipses and Waffle Houses. 

Cher: When we went from being single amoeba organisms, single cell organisms to crawling out of the water – who knew that one day we would be taking photos of an eclipse over a Waffle House? You know? Just ... that’s where all of evolution was leading.

Lauren: Absolutely. Once again, the majesty of the universe. 

Cher: The majesty of the universe. The majesty of Waffle House. We did a special eclipse badge.

Lauren: Oh really? I missed that entirely!

Cher: Yeah. We have a phases of the moon badge. So, we did a special just for the day eclipse badge. And we partnered with NASA and did a little eclipse email, “Today on Tumblr” email. And also I don’t know if you saw but NASA did, “Do you love the colors of the sun?” 

Lauren: Oh my god. No, I did not see this! That’s amazing.

Cher: They did a post showing ... I believe in the week or two leading up to the eclipse. Yeah. 

Lauren: That’s incredible. 

Cher: I’ll drop that in too, which is very exciting.

Lauren: Yes, please.

Cher: I’ve been pitching a do you love the color of the universe post forever. And I’m so excited that we are ...

Lauren: You’re getting there!

Cher: We’re getting there. We got one little chunk. (laughs)

Lauren: This is so great.

Cher: My last month on Tumblr was very similar to your last month on Tumblr. Minus the 911 which I feel like is a show that I do need to get into because I love ... procedural – is that what they’re called?

Lauren: Yeah. It’s so funny because after the thing that happens that happened two weeks ago happened – that was the worst sentence in the world! 

Cher: Is it a ship thing?

Lauren: Um ... kind of. It could be viewed as a ship thing. Do you care about being spoiled? 

Cher: Nah. 

Lauren: Okay. 

Cher: Spoil me.

Lauren: Major spoilers for 911 episode four of season seven. It’s their 100th episode of all time. And Evan Buckley who is my favorite character and who ... he’s the character who I most want to ... my friend is like, “You are always at your sicko window with Buck.” Do you know the meme, right? Of the guy at the window, Sicko, going, “Yes, yes.” 

Cher: Always at your sicko window is just a funny ...

Lauren: Always at my sicko window. (laughter) 

Cher: Oh my god.

Lauren: I’m always at my sicko window with Buck because he is just a golden retriever of a person who is just constantly being pummeled into the ground. He gets caught in the tsunami, he gets crushed by a ladder truck, he gets struck by lightning.

Cher: He can’t catch a break!

Lauren: He can’t catch a break. I love to watch him suffer. I really love to watch him suffer. And also I just think he’s a really beautiful character. His growth from season one where he’s kind of this Play Boy womanizer, immature, bro – to this guy who is like very earnest and sweet and just wants to be loved and is a great friend to people around him, and a great brother and all this kind of stuff. It’s just a really nice arc. 

He is now, this is the big spoiler, canonically bi-sexual. And it was just ... again, I’m going to talk about this more in the Feels Corner but the thing I was going to say is ... So, I spent 40 minutes texting one of my fandom friends, Molly, afterwards just being like, “Let me tell you everything that just happened in this episode.” I recounted beat for beat the episode. 

And she has to hear me talk about the show all the time for various reasons because I love it. But I actually ... she was like, okay, now I’m curious. I want to go watch the episode. And then she watched the episode and she started watching season one. And she was like, Lauren, why have people been lying to me and saying that this is a procedural? It is just a character drama! 

I’m like, I know! It’s a procedural in the way that Grey’s Anatomy is a procedural, which is like ... it’s not, right? 

Cher: My favorite flavor of procedural I think. Yeah.

Lauren: Exactly. 

Cher: Not a procedural.

Lauren: Procedural elements, right? Every episode they have a couple of different calls that they go to, a couple of different rescues, things like that, or one big rescue usually in the sort of premieres and finales. But it’s just about character arcs and found family and all the characters are so great. And so she is now gone deep in on the show in a way that I’m like, “Victory at last!” I finally converted a real life friend to 911. So, you’re next, Cher!

Cher: Oh my gosh!

Lauren: I will convert you next!

Cher: I’m next on the list. Also, the play by play that you said you texted her, why don’t you just post that? 

Lauren: Oh my god! 

Cher: Like as a text post. 

(laughter)

Please do! 

Lauren: I did screenshot it and sent it to another friend of mine! 

Cher: The people need to see. You’re essentially just re-blogging yourself within text which I do all the time.

Lauren: Absolutely. I derailed us from the point entirely. 

Cher: But I’m all here for it. Should we ... it’s like part two will be April Fools but this is now the 911 episode. 

Lauren: Someone reminded me, sent me a Tumblr ask being like, “I know you said that you would do a 911 episode if Buddy went canon,” which I don’t remember saying but I believe that we said that. But are you going to talk about that? I was like, oh yeah, we’ll definitely talk about it. It’ll be in the Feels Corner for sure because I genuinely was emotional about it. But now also this seems increasingly possible. So ... more to come. 

Cher: More to come on that. And I was going to say, we could do it for our pitching each other’s shows ones, but it’s not an underrated show. It’s like the number one show on Tumblr. Yeah, be pitching me directly a show but everyone else is watching it. 

The most specific podcast you’ve ever heard. Is this a conversation between two people that should stay between two people? No, everyone needs to hear why I specifically should watch the show. 

Lauren: Yes. Yes. Exactly.

[game show trill]

Cher: So, April Fools! I am so excited to talk about April Fools on Tumblr. My first question for you, Lauren, is ... you’ve been on Tumblr for 15 years? 

Lauren: 15 years. Yep!

Cher: You have experienced all the April Fools and I don’t know, a lot of community related April Fools moments and things tied in as well. So what is your first memory of April Fools on Tumblr? 

Lauren: I mean, I think my first ... it’s so funny, I was trying to think after the boop ‘o meter and the booping this April Fools, which do you want to actually briefly explain what this April Fools was? 

Cher: Lauren, I would love to explain what this April Fools was. It was very, very complicated. It was really in-depth, multi-layered-

Lauren: Lots of lore.

Cher: So much lore built in. Really and if you know, you know kind of situation. And what it featured was a button at the top of your dashboard that said “boop.” And if you activated the boop then you could go ahead and boop other people’s accounts and you yourself could be booped. And you’re just trying to get as many boops as possible or boop as many people as you wanted. And that was literally it. That was it.

But was it really it? Because it wasn’t. Because it never is on Tumblr. There were some other types of boops because we can’t be tamed. We can’t be contained to a single boop flavor. So, there was of course the normal boop. There was also the self boop. In case you wanted to boop yourself. There was the super boop. It’s like a boop but super. And then there were some additional ... we added some more boops halfway through the day.

Lauren: Oh really!?

Cher: Yeah. There were a couple ... my favorite was the evil boop.

Lauren: I did get evil booped.

Cher: Yeah, also there was the cat boop.

Lauren: Oh!?

Cher: Yeah. So, yeah, the nose boop. So, there were all types of boops and I do have some numbers for you as well if you want to know how many boops were booped. 

Lauren: I would LOVE to know.

Cher: So, the total amount of boops including all the different boop types was 142.5 million boops were sent.

Lauren: (laughs) Incredible.

Cher: In 24 hours. Yeah. 119.2 million normal boops. 12.6 million self boops. And we love a community that boops themselves.

Lauren: Wow. A lot of boop laundering.

Cher: [crosstalk 00:13:47] A lot of boop laundering. Yeah. When I discovered the ability to boop launder, I did ... look, I took advantage. 

Lauren: Me too.

Cher: Look, we’re doing what we can in this economy.

Lauren: Exactly. You gotta game the system. (laughs)

Cher: Look, it’s boopy boop on boop street. You know? There were 2.1 million super boops. And then 695.8 thousand mischievous boops. And 7.9 million cat boops. 

Lauren: Wow.

Cher: Not even a million evil boops. 

Lauren: What a kind community.

Cher: What a positive, kind, booping community. We love to see it. So, yeah, this was a very fun April Fools. 

Lauren: It was really fun.

Cher: I will say, I think those are some of the biggest ... our April Fools numbers are always ridiculous.

Lauren: Bonkers.

Cher: They’re always bonkers. They’re always boopers. Ridiculous and this one I think was some of the highest I’ve seen in my tenure (literally) of working at Tumblr. 

Lauren: So, last year, I know just speaking of metrics I think there were 5 million crabs or 50 million crabs. It’s one of our episode titles. 

Cher: There were 25 million crabs summoned. Yeah.

Lauren: That’s what it was. Yeah, 25 million crabs. And I remember-

Cher: No, it was 2022. 

Lauren: That was 2022? Oh gosh, you’re right.

Cher: Yeah, 2023 was the post reaction emojis. So, there was like a caterpillar post reaction you could do. A cheese. And then there was a crab reaction. Which I do have the numbers.

Lauren: What was I doing last April Fools? I feel like I was not on Tumblr that day, which is ... the 14 days a year I’m not on Tumblr all day. 

Cher: You weren’t cheesing people’s posts? You weren’t caterpillaring people? Wow.

Lauren: I wasn’t. It’s so funny. I remember the crabs. I remember the copy. But the one that stands out as sort of the first sort of April Fools event I guess I should say on Tumblr is I think an unofficial event which was the Mish-apocalypse. Cher, were you around for the Mish-apocalypse on Tumblr?

Cher: I was not around for the Mish-apocalypse on Tumblr. I was on Tumblr. I had a Tumblr.

Lauren: But you weren’t AT Tumblr.

Cher: I was not ... wait ... I was not at Tumblr. I started later that year. Which would make so much sense that ... because yeah, Mish-apocalypse was 2013. I started at Tumblr in 2014. So, I missed the Mish-apocalypse and I also was on the wrong side of Tumblr to experience it. 

Lauren: Right!

Cher: I was super active on Tumblr and did not see it come past my dashboard and would not know who this man was. The 2013 me would have been like, “Who is this person?” If he ever came by ... which is wild to think about now. So, you were there ... you witnessed Mish-apocalypse firsthand!?

Lauren: I witnessed it and what’s so funny, too, is ... I don’t know that I would actually say this to Misha but I barely knew who he was! (laughs) Which is so funny because now anytime he crosses my dash, which is not infrequently, I’m like oh yeah there’s my co-worker, Misha! 

Cher: There’s that guy.

Lauren: There’s that guy whose number I have. It’s just such a funny thing. I also just realized I should change his contact photo in my phone to the photo for the Mish-apocalypse. 

Cher: You absolutely ... you simply must. 

Lauren: So, there is this photo of Misha Collins that if you ... I have no idea the origin of the photo actually but if you have spent any time on the fandom side of Tumblr you’ve seen this photo. Because a lot of people have it as their icon over various backgrounds. But it’s a very blank faced Misha, which is so funny because he’s such an expressive guy, just sort of staring dead eyed into the camera. I have to assume he was doing a bit. I don’t know where the photo came from. Do you know?

Cher: It’s from comic con. It was recorded during a comic con panel. 

Lauren: That makes perfect sense.

Cher: I haven’t seen the panel, so I’ve just seen the photo with the comic con panel [inaudible 00:18:00] so I feel like he was definitely, yeah, joking.

Lauren: He was doing a bit.

Cher: Yeah, doing a bit, for sure.

Lauren: And it’s not super high res. It makes sense that it came from probably a screen shot of a panel, right? And somehow, I don’t know how it was organized because again in 2013 I was not in the Supernatural fandom. I was aware that Supernatural existed, because I was in my final year of college in April of 2013 and I had some friends in college who watched it, but I never had seen an episode. I was really starting to dip my toes into the fandom side of Tumblr. So, I had not gone deep in on sort of ... SuperWhoLock was definitely happening in 2013 and in some ways 2012 was really the height of SuperWhoLock but Supernatural to me was part of SuperWhoLock. It was not a distinct entity yet.

And then April 1st all of a sudden everybody on my dash, or basically everybody on my dash, had changed their avatar to this photo of Misha Collins. And it was the Mish-apocalypse. And just like you could not escape this photo. It was everybody’s avatar. People were posting it everywhere. It was just a dashboard takeover. And I don’t know, did you know anything about who organized that or how it got organized? Is it just one of those things that’s Tumb’lore and it just happened? 

Cher: I honestly think, I have no idea of the origin of the first post. It really, I do think it is, yeah, just Tumb’lore that just ... it sprung up just one day magically and please if someone knows the post or the user who started the Mish-apocalypse.

Lauren: Tell us.

Cher: We would love to give them credit and also speak to them. 

Lauren: Yes, please.

Cher: Yes. I don’t know, make a trophy of some sort, like a Mish-apocalypse. You know Task Master? 

Lauren: Yes.

Cher: I was about to ask if you watch. [crosstalk 00:19:51] Yeah, the golden head. I think if we did a Misha version of that.

Lauren: Perfect.

Cher: Right!? Call it the Dash Master.

Lauren: The Dash Master. That’s ... I’m putting a little pin, bookmark in that, because I want to make that a thing somehow.

Cher: We’re circle back.

Lauren: Let’s circle back to that. But okay, that was 2013. So, then presumably Tumblr was not doing official April Fools things in 2013. So, when did that begin for Tumblr?

Cher: So, it was 2014 and it makes so much sense now ... it’s all clicking for me why 2014 was the first one and why the 2014 April Fool’s joke was what it was.

Lauren: What was it?

Cher: We added top hats onto people’s profile photos. 

Lauren: The top hats‼ I forgot about the top hats! That was ten years ago!?

Cher: Yeah!

Lauren: Oh my god.

Cher: That was definitely a direct reaction to Mish-apocalypse where everyone changed their profile photos or did something. So, it was like, why not put top hats on it. And then yeah ... so that was the first official Tumblr April Fools.

Lauren: That’s wild.

Cher: I know that Danny Phantom does a similar to Mish-apocalypse April Fools thing with changing their profile photos to a Danny Phantom photo. Yeah.

Lauren: Really? 

Cher: Yeah.

Lauren: I am so not even adjacent to the Danny Phantom fandom that I’ve never seen that. That’s amazing. 

Cher: I also just love ... yeah, it’s call Danny-pocalypse. And it is exactly what you think. Where all the users change their ... everyone in the Danny fandom changed their profile photo to a photo of Danny Phantom.

Lauren: I love that. Okay, so it’s been ten years of Tumblr April Fools. Can you take us through the journey of this decade?

Cher: Lauren, I would love nothing more. Let’s go on a little scroll down the dashboard, if you will. ha ha. I know I’ve said that pun before but it’s just one of my favorites. Anyway ...

So, 2014, Tumblr Pro is what it was called. Everyone got their top hats. 

2015 was the Tumblr executive suite. And that was-

Lauren: Copy!

Cher: Copy Fame the Tumblr official mascot, who sadly passed on to the technical realm. I don’t know. At the end of the day. 

2016 was the lizard election. That’s where animated lizards competed to win the hearts and minds of Tumblr. And we did actually hire a commentator to host a kind of fake update news show, like it was called Decision 2016. And we also added a post type feature that allowed you to make your own campaign posters for whoever you were supporting in the lizard election. 

Lauren: That’s awesome.

Cher: Which ties in really well when we do our Dashboard Confessionals because I did include some of my campaign content from the lizard election.

Lauren: Oh, I’m excited. 

Cher: 2017 was horse plinko. You got a digital horse.

Lauren: Yep. God, horse plinko was all the way back in 2017!?

Cher: Yeah.

Lauren: That’s wild.

Cher: Oh wait ... I’m trying to remember now. Was 2017 [inaudible 00:23:23] digital horse and then horse plinko started later because of the digital horse?

Lauren: No-

Cher: No, it was horse plinko. Because I remember playing it on my dashboard.

Lauren: I think you’re right. Yeah. There was an official dashboard horse plinko for sure.

Cher: It’s wild to me because I’ve worked here this whole time. I should remember but they all ... I know we added the horse plinko but there have been so many ... a lot of these creations come from hack day projects. So, a lot of the time I’m like, oh, I’ve seen that, I’ve played that, and the tester. Also, if you go into your settings and turn on Tumblr Labs you too can play with hack day projects ever so often. 

Lauren: I didn’t know that was a feature in Tumblr Labs. I have Tumblr Labs turned on. I love the Q 2.0 it saves my life. 

Cher: Q 2.0 was a hack day project. The re-blog tree was a hack day project as well.

Lauren: I love the re-blog tree.

Cher: Yeah, one of my favorites. 

2017 you got a horse. So, horse plinko.

2018 was Tumblr coin. Tumblr crypto currency.

Lauren: Perfect.

Cher: Also, everyone could trade for the day, which I feel like boop was the new iteration, I guess. 

Lauren: Absolutely.

Cher: Almost. 2019 was Tumblr memories and so you could create fake memories. It said you re-blogged this on this day but it wasn’t.

Lauren: Oh yeah! I do kind of remember this.

Cher: It said, yeah, everyone had different memories and it put you and your mutual’s and things into memories together that had nothing to do with. Which I vaguely remember that but oddly the fact that it’s called Tumblr Memories, but it’s ...

Lauren: It’s hazy. 

Cher: It’s hard. Yeah, I feel like I’ve been Eternal Sunshined. 

And then 2020 was the group chat story builder. So, that one was a smaller one for obvious reasons. We just kept it ... we launched group chat at the time which is a feature we no longer have. But there was essentially the Tumblr bot in the group chat helped you and the other users link in the group chat, you could create fake stories. It was a little story building device.

2021 was an NFT adoption fair and NFT stands for Non Fungible Tumblr Cryptids. So, everyone got their weird Tumblr Cryptids. Which was also super fun. I feel like I have to go dig into my archives and grab mine, too. [crosstalk 00:25:39] It would randomly generate a weird name, a weird shape with a few different features and there were definitely top hats involved. 

Lauren: Yes!

Cher: 2022 was of course bricks click-a-thon. Which the crabs were the most talked about moment of the day. The theme of it was essentially we’d hired a new chief engagement officer and his job was ... his name was Brick and he was a brick in a suit and his job was to get as much engagement on Tumblr as possible. So, he just added a bunch of buttons. So, all over the dashboard there was ... he succeeded. He got that engagement. So, look, Brick ... and he also posted throughout the day Brick Updates. And I think Brick quit.

Lauren: Or he got fired or something.

Cher: Yeah. Got fired. Something happened. Which I love the narrative. And then in 2023 was the post reaction emojis that we were talking about. And then 2024 ... here we are at the boop o’meter. Which yeah, is like ... by far the most clicked that we’ve seen. 

Lauren: Aw, that’s amazing. What’s so fascinating about ...and one of the things I love about this is that I remember some of these really vividly and I think I missed others entirely. And that’s what I love about this particular thing is if you’re not there on April 1st you just aren’t there. Right? And depending on the day of the week that April 1st was ... I’m sure that I was in recording or it was a weekend and I was out doing stuff. And I wasn’t really active on Tumblr or whatever. Which I normally am pretty much every week day and a lot of the weekend, let’s be real. 

But I just love that. I love that you kind of have to be there. And I feel like over the last couple of years it’s just become more of a thing that people anticipate, that people look forward to, that people are excited to see what the team is coming up with. Yeah, I would love to ... what is the first one that you really remember and what is your favorite?

Cher: Hmm. The first one I really remember is definitely 2015. Because it was my first year working at Tumblr. I was an intern. And also just ... I remember getting a top hat in 2014. So, I guess that’s the first one but I do remember it, but 2015 really sticks with me. We would have a conference room set up for the day and everyone ... the whole team is in there posting and responding and updating things as they went, adding reactions, things that Copy could say. It was really fun to be a part of it. 

So, yeah, 2015 is the first one I remember. And also 2016 really sticks out I think too as just a fun weird chaotic memorable one. 

Lauren: I feel like I still see posts about the lizard election. It’s loomed large in Tumblr’s memory.

Cher: It definitely, honestly, Mop stayed in the community consciousness and Deborah. Wretched Tooth.

Lauren: That’s right! Incredible.

Cher: I’m trying to remember, trying to figure out what my favorite is. I do think ... I don’t know why I’m having such a hard time deciding because I feel like they were all ... I feel like they were just all such fun days. The whole community gets together. So, when I’m picking a favorite I’m like, which one did I have the most fun with but every single one that really stands out, they were all fantastic, but I do think that the 2015 one, the executive suite with Copy stands out to me as my favorite just because I think both sentimentally and also because I just love Copy and how Copy came back with Tumblr Top Five and how Copy has had that staying power. 

And yeah. So, the first one I remember and my favorite are both 2015 executive suite with our friend, Copy, who by the way ... I have an action figure of.

Lauren: Oh my god! That’s amazing! (laughs) Is that Merch the Tumblr [inaudible 00:29:55]?

Cher: It is Merch. We have a bunch of them in the warehouse actually. So, I should definitely ... as part of your ... I was figuring out your birthday gift and I’ll definitely be sending you a copy as a copy of Copy as well! And also I just have to show you because I’m so proud of Copy’s placement in my room. In my office. 

Lauren: Oh my god. On your printer. That is perfect! He’s there to be so helpful when you’re making copies! 

Cher: Yeah, right!? Look, always there. Never takes a day off.

Lauren: What a guy. 

Cher: What is your favorite April Fools? And so I guess the first one you remember would be the Mish-apocalypse.

Lauren: Yeah. 

Cher: Which one was your favorite and which one were you the most actively involved in throughout the day?

Lauren: I do think that the boop o’meter is the most I’ve sort of been actively, very active ... but I say I’ve been on Tumblr for 15 years, I don’t mean that I’ve had an account for 15 years. I mean, like I’ve BEEN ON Tumblr for 15 years. Right? I don’t think a month has gone by where I haven’t used Tumblr in some capacity. Certainly there have been busier times and less busy times and times when I’m more active in a particular fandom and times where I’m not but I have been a fairly consistent Tumblr user. But I do think that the way that I’ve used Tumblr has sort of changed over the years. I think especially as ... let’s be honest, other social media has fallen by the wayside, right?

I think for a long time Tumblr was a very important part of my internet diet but because it was part of an internet diet I hadn’t really gone into all of the ways to use Tumblr to its fullest if that makes sense? Whereas now I’m a person who, yeah, has Tumblr Labs turned on and has all the different tabs of what you missed and popular re-blogs and all that kind of stuff turned on so I can mix and match my dash. I obsessively cue things. I’ve got Q 2.0. I really am deep into Tumblr as a platform. Actually using all the features for so many years. Tumblr is working great for me so I don’t need to dive into all these features and now I’m like Tumblr is working great for me and also I can now even customize it even more.

And so I feel like because of that I’m a more literal active Tumblr user if that makes sense. So, I do think the boop o’meter was the one that I participated in the most. And it’s a regency bias thing, too, it just brought me so much Tumblr joy. But I do think that horse plinko does stand out in my head. And thinking back on it now, the lizard election also stands out. But 2016 obviously was such a year on social media in general and just that was a real time for all of us as a nation, right? 

Cher: Yeah and we were in a different place in April than we were in November.

Lauren: Right, and December.

Cher: Yeah, and it kind of hurts to remember the fun we had. 

Lauren: It hurts to think of a fun election.

Cher: It hurts to think of the fact that we were having a good time with that. Even though it was nice to have a good time before the bad time.

Lauren: We thought we were going to have a good time in November, too, but we didn’t!

(laughter)

Cher: We did not. No. Yeah, I think that really does prevent me from saying that was my favorite ... or a top one, even though it was so memorable and so much fun because that was swiftly overshadowed.

Lauren: Yeah. Swiftly overshadowed. Whereas I do think that April of 2017 was also a time ... we were all sort of adjusting to the new way that things were. And also to me it’s just like ... it’s an interesting [inaudible 00:33:50] ahead of when Tumblr started to become the Tumblr that Tumblr is now. If that makes sense?

We talk about these eras of Tumblr, right? And yeah, if I think of my own ... and I’d be very, very curious what your personal eras of Tumblr are. 

Cher: Which I also love as an episode!

Lauren: Tumblr Eras.

Cher: Tumblr Eras.

Lauren: Yes. 

Cher: Tumblr Eras Tour? 

Lauren: Tumblr Eras Tour | Lauren & Cher Version. 

(laughter)

Yeah, we’re doing that. So, okay. I won’t go too deep into it but it’s like there are distinct eras of Tumblr that we will talk about on a future episode because I love that idea. And I do think that 2017, 2018 till now is Tumblr at its most pure and distilled. And where the Tumblr community and the Tumblr platform are sort of most in harmony. And frankly the weak ones have left. (laughs) You know? 

(laughter)

Cher: Only the strong survived.

Lauren: The strong survived. 

Cher: It’s like Bane, born in the darkness. I was born on this dashboard. You simply logged onto it.

Lauren: Exactly. So, for me, I think the digital horse kind of marks the beginning of that era. I’m just very happy to be in the Tumblr that we’re in now. I was going to ask you what your favorite Tumblr era is but we will save that for an episode because I think that is a whole episode.

Cher: I feel like yeah now I’m thinking about my Tumblr eras. They are absolutely so distinct. I think I’m also kind of entering and have been entering a new one now, because I do feel like, yeah, I’m definitely feeling the community start to not enliven because it’s always been so alive and engaged and fun and active. But I do notice I have a lot of friends who have told me they’re logging back into Tumblr after a while, reactivating their accounts, getting back onto their dashboards. I think largely after maybe not using other socials as much or what have you. And so it’s definitely been ... I feel like we’ve been in this really Tumblr ... not Tumblr fandom as in fandom’s on Tumblr but fandom other era-

Lauren: [crosstalk 00:36:26] OF Tumblr.

Cher: Yeah, now I really do think ... I love how the people who have been in this community for such a long time, for ten plus years, fifteen plus years – when new people join the community is so welcoming. And like, “Hey, here is how things work. How can we help you get up to speed?” We saw that with Tw-exit. When we had so many new users coming. Everyone was kind of welcoming them into the fold. 

So, yeah. I think I’m very excited to talk about Tumblr eras. Because I think we’re definitely ... I feel like there’s something new afoot, perhaps a renaissance. 

Lauren: I think so! I think we may already be in a renaissance.

Cher: I agree with you. Wow. All these renaissance and eras, we’re referencing all of the pop icons.

Lauren: Yeah, all the hits.

Cher: And also, speaking of Tumblr eras ... what do you have from your archives to show us today?

[guitar]

Lauren: I forgot what I put in here because I put it in several days ago. Oh, yes. So, I have a video that I re-blogged in, oh gosh, 2015. So, I mean, nine years ago at this point. And it’s just like, I don’t know, it encapsulates 2015 to me. It is a video of President Barack Obama, giving various speeches but somebody has cut all of the words together so that he is essentially rapping the lyrics to Uptown Funk. (laughs)

Cher: I remember this. I didn’t even need to put the sound on. I was like, oh, I know. 

Lauren: ‘Cause you knew exactly what it was.

Cher: I knew what it was but I do kind of ... I turned it on full volume in my ears. Which I deserved for hitting play on that. But oh my god. What a classic. What a heritage post. 

Lauren: True heritage post. Just wanted something silly for April. How about you? What do you have from the archives?

Cher: My dashboard confession for today is from the 2016 Lizard Election. It is the campaign poster that I made of MOP the Lizard who is a lizard in a bucket hat ... for our listeners. And it reads “MOP is me, I am MOP, MOP is we” and then it has three smiley faces on it.

Lauren: It’s excellent. 

Cher: So, just some of my art. And it has three notes and two of the three are from my parents and the third is from a Tumblr employee. 

Lauren: Incredible. Well, it’s about to get a lot more because we will re-blog that to DashboardDiaries.Tumblr.com. 

Cher: Which I’m very, very proud of and I honestly do wish that we still had that post type functionality within Tumblr. 

Lauren: Bring back [crosstalk 00:38:57].

Cher: Yeah, my new platform is the ability to have a platform on your platform.

Lauren: Yes. I support this. 

Cher: Yeah, thank you very much. (laughs) With our last couple of minutes, because I know you wanted to dive into your Feels Corner ... What has you in your feels this week, Lauren?

Lauren: Well, first of all, I do want to mention ... because it’s been a while since we have mentioned this because I keep forgetting about it. If you would like to share your feels with us, you can send us a voice memo of 45 seconds of less and email it to dashboarddiariespod@gmail.com. That email will be in the description, so please share your feels with us. Yeah, so very very briefly – my feels is about spoilers for 911 – Evan Buckley being canonically bisexual. I watched ... the show comes out Thursday nights. I usually watch Friday during lunch. And I was literally at my computer hands on my face being like, “Is this happening?” Is this actually happening? 

Because we’ve all thought that he’s bisexual for a very long time. And I mean as a bisexual person it’s my prerogative that everybody is bisexual until proven otherwise. (laughs) But just the way they did it was so perfect. Olive Stark, the actor who plays Buck, clearly has so much care for the character and care for the story line. And I woke up the next day and was like, “Did that actually happen? Is that real?” And it is! And it did happen!

And I’m just very overwhelmed with emotions about it. Especially since ... and this is something that I’m just like, wow, April really is my month. I’m an Aries. My birthday is April 16th. The episode came out on April 4th. April 4th this year was also the ten year anniversary of Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Which is one of my favorite movies of all time. And the thing that got me into the obsessive Marvel fandom. And I just realized the other day April 4th, 2013 was also the premiere of Hannibal. So, it’s like-

Cher: Oh my god!

Lauren: April 4th is just like my day for disaster by sexual men. 

Cher: Oh my god. You need to start taking the day off just to celebrate.

Lauren: It’s like a holiday for me! (laughter)

Cher: Also, I just love the idea of having personal holidays. This day specifically is a day that I take off and I celebrate. Yes, birthdays and etc but no, April 4th-

Lauren: This is my day.

Cher: That’s Lauren’s day. Yes.

Lauren: This is my bisexual day. 

Cher: I am literally adding a reminder to my calendar ... you’re getting something for Lauren’s Bi Visibility ... Lauren’s Individual Bi Visibility Day.

(laughter)

Only Lauren is visible.

Lauren: What about you, Cher? What has you in your feels this week?

Cher: What has me in my feels this week? The couple of things that have me in my feels – I don’t know how much I am able to talk about them because they’re not yet out. 

Lauren: Ooooh.

Cher: When this episode comes out I think Dead Boy Detectives will be out already. So, what has me in my feels is Dead Boy Detectives. Which comes out later this month. It is a spinoff of the Sandman series based on two of the characters from the Sandman who are two dead boys, shocker, who become detectives, also shocker. So, that comes out later this month. It is great. It’s super by, by the way.

Lauren: Oh, hell yeah.

Cher: I think you’ll enjoy it. I think the other thing that kind of has me in my feels is just the fact that, I don’t know, I feel like we spend so much time in the fandom community writing fan fic and hoping for characters to be queer, bi, and it’s so nice that it actually canonically happens regularly now. It’s just very nice that it’s no longer something that you feel like you’re writing in your fic and hoping you’ll get a crumb of something. You know?

Lauren: Exactly. 

Cher: So, I think that in general has me in my feels. And can’t wait for everyone to see Dead Boy Detectives.

Lauren: I know. I’m so excited. You were texting me about it as you were watching it and it sounds ... you’re so right. It sounds so up my alley. I’m very excited to talk to you about it. 

Cher: I cannot wait. I can’t wait for that episode. So yeah. That has me in my feels right now. And this has been great. My April Feels, April Fools ...oh god.

Lauren: Yes! 

Cher: Heyyy. 

Lauren: Tee hee!

Cher: And with that ... I’m Cher McAnelly and you can find me at OverChers.Tumblr.com. 

Lauren: And I’m Lauren Shippen, and you can find me at TheLaurenShippen.Tumblr.com.

Cher: This has been Dashboard Diaries. And ... 

[outtro music]

Lauren: May your anons always be loving.

Cher: Your dash always refreshed.

Lauren: Your gifs always be loading.

Cher: And your ships always canon.

Lauren: May the fics you’re reading always be finished.

Cher: And the answers you seek always in the re-blogs.Lauren: Thanks for scrolling with us!

April means April Fools! Tumblr has a long and storied tradition of built-in pranks and this month, we go through each one. Plus: big news in the 911 fandom, a new show to obsess over, and a total eclipse of the sun.

Credits and transcript in our reblog. You can find transcripts for this, and every other episode, here.

Find the posts discussed in this episode in this tag!

[rowanaelinn]

Tease

word count: 1,3k

warning: some mild nsfw

i might write part two of this if you’re interested in it! i wrote this in thirty minutes right before posting it so i’ll be honest i was a bit lazy to write everything, so just tell me if you’d be interested in a part two!

Aelin Ashryver Galathynius knew she was a tease. She had been told so her entire life, and she took great pride in it.

She loved to make jokes about her family, to laugh of her friends whenever she could, and to annoy the shit out of everyone around her when she was in a mood.

But, she wasn’t only that way with people she loved dearly but also with the ones she hated with a passion.

Not a lot of people could fit in that category since she never considered herself a very hateful person, only Rowan Whitethorn could. It wasn’t exactly her fault, she just couldn’t ignore him when he was in the same room as her, she had to pick on him. And he returned the courtesy so she didn’t really feel bad about it.

But after two years of knowing each other, something changed. Aelin didn’t know how their banters went from snarky remarks to angrily making out in closets, but she was willing to admit she didn’t mind.

Not that she had stopped teasing him, but it was funnier now. For the past two months, she couldn’t count how many times her hand had accidentally brushed the top of his thigh, how many times her skirt rode up around him and she just didn’t notice or how many times she had to wipe the side of her mouth as she maintained eye contact with him.

They had made out for hours and they had also sometimes crossed a line, but they were both in silent agreement to never speak about it even when it was only the two of them. So, whenever she could she’d tease him about how bad he kissed (which is the biggest lie that ever came out of her mouth) but she’d never brought up that time they had drunk and he made her scream of pleasure just with two fingers.

And he would tease her on the way she always pulled his hair too roughly, but he’d never spoke about that time she took him so deep in her mouth he came down her throat, chanting her name as he fucked her mouth.

Never had they crossed that final line and Aelin wasn’t sure they would. She didn’t know whether to feel revealed or disappointed. Normal people don’t make out with people they hate, so they’d definitely wouldn’t have sex with them. Maybe she wasn’t normal, she liked the sound of this.

Aelin was having so much fun tonight.

They were all out in a bar to celebrate Fenrys’s birthday and instead of being by her best friend’s side, drinking and partying, she was in a dirty bathroom, her legs around the man she hated’s waist, her hands in his hair, and her tongue playing with his. He was pressing her against the wall, both hands gripping her ass.

“What about ‘never doing this again’?” Aelin asked, pulling back to take back her breath but she didn’t catch a break, Rowan’s lips assaulting her neck. Every time they kissed, one of them promised it was the last time, even if they both knew it was a goddamn lie.

“Shut up,” he groaned, taking back her lips. She just giggled, trying her best not to break the kiss. She was annoying him, she knew it, it’s exactly why she was doing this.

Aelin didn’t know how they ended up here tonight, they had been fighting over what sport was better between football and baseball, and the next second, she heard him lock the door and she was kissing him roughly.

“I’m still right.”

He groaned, pressing his body closer to hers in hopes it would shut her up, but if he really believed this he didn’t know her at all. He went to unbutton her shirt, but she stopped him right there, shaking her head.

He looked at her, a brow arched and Aelin hated how beautiful he looked right now, his long hair in a mess because of her, his lips swollen and eyes darker than his usual shade of green. “Tell me I’m right, then you can take off my clothes.”

“No.”

Aelin smirked, taking her hands off his hair. “Hands off, then.” She smirked but Rowan didn’t let her go. “Come on, three little words. You are right.”

“I’m not going to lie.” He said, his hands massaging her butt. He really was shameless.

“But you’re going home with blue balls.” She winked and used all her strength to push him back, settling on her feet once again. She ignored the ache between her own legs and walked away from him, accentuating the sway of her hips because she knew it’s where he would look.

She sat back with her friends, ordering her second drink of the night as she laughed with Lysandra.

Five minutes later, Rowan sat at the same table, looking normal as if he hadn’t almost fucked someone in the bathroom. He ordered a new drink and spoke with Aedion who was sitting to his left, but not one single time did he look at her, which annoyed her.

She tried to attract his attention by laughing a little loudly, by interrupting his conversation with her cousin because she needed to ask Aedion something or because she was recalling a childhood memory, but nothing worked. Never once his gaze settled on her.

With a smirk on her face, Aelin pulled her phone out of her pocket and quickly found her message app. She took advantage of Lysandra wanting to dance with Fenrys to take the time to scroll into her picture to find what to send.

Happy with her choice, Aelin pressed the “send” button and put her phone on the table, her eyes focused on the silver-haired man at the other side of the table.

He opened his phone the moment he got the notification and she could see the moment he saw her text.

Rowan had just received a very explicit photo of hers truly, she was laying in bed, with lacy red lingerie on and one of her hands disappeared in her underwear, not letting what her fingers were doing to the imagination. She had been thinking of him when she took this, and had felt a little embarrassed about it when she came down from her high, but now she was glad she took the picture.

His knee, which had been shaking since he sat down, she didn't need to see it to know, he did it all the time, tapped the underside of the table, drawing everyone's attention.

His head snapped up toward her, his eyes hard. Aelin grinned like a fiend, proud of herself. She brought her glass to her lips but she before rose it toward him, mouthing “cheers”.

Her phone buzzed, showing a new message. Stop with this attitude before I fuck it out of you.

She bit her lip, fighting the blushing coming on her cheeks. When she looked up, Rowan seemed proud of him as if he knew what she was feeling right now. Maybe he did. They had never spoken about this so outrightly, this was dangerous territory.

Not sure you would be able to handle all of me.

His reply came in immediately. Willing to bet against it?

She was, but she didn’t want him to win her so easily even though she had fantasied about him fucking her for months now. You miss my mouth?

Yes. Oh, good gods help her. She didn’t dare to look up, feeling the weight of his gaze on her. Feeling the same about my fingers?

I don’t know. It wasn’t that memorable.

She looked up to see him frown and she internally smiled at it, finding the image funny. She looked quickly at her phone. Join me in my car in five minutes and allow me to refresh your memory.

Rowan didn’t wait for an answer before excusing himself for the night. She didn’t have to think about it twice, her mind was already made.

————

taglist: @sheharahu // @morganofthewildfire // @thestoriesyoutell // @fromthelibraryofemilyj // @swankii-art-teacher // @itsforeverinnocent-blog // @becarefuloflove // @imnotsogoodatthis // @rowaelinismyotp // @a-court-of-milkandhoney // @feysand-loml // @themoonthestarsthesuriel // @live-the-fangirl-life // @story-scribbler // @loves-books // @fangirlprincess09 // @theysayitscrazy // @hellasblessed // @danibutterr // @endlessdaydream // @thegreyj // @gracie-rosee

[kenmaskitten10]

Dilf Deku Headcanons

Midoriya Izuku x GN!Reader

warnings: swearing, NSFW themes (nothing graphic just briefly mentioned),brief mention of bullying/scars, idk this is pretty tame nothing is really described... if u don't like dilfs then don't read this :)

a/n: okay! this is my first time writing/publishing anything on Tumblr so please go easy on me haha... I've had ridiculous Deku brain rot lately and I decided I had to jot a few thoughts down. I'm playing with the idea of turning this into a writing blog, but I am undecided! If anyone wants to thirst for one Izuku Midoriya please come talk to me please anyway without further ado here are some Dilf!Deku hcs.... I'm playing around with doing a NSFW version after this so if you would like to see that let me know!

w/c: 1,498

Okay everyone today I want to talk about Dilf!Izuku

This may be controversial but I personally believe that he has the most Dilf potential out of any of the class 1A boys and no I will not be taking criticism at this time

Sorry but even when he’s younger he has Dilf energy - he’s caring, considerate, takes your feelings into account like a dad he just wants to take care of his baby

oh fuck this man no no no

And listen, here me out on this one….. he has more dilf potential than Bakugo and allow me to tell you why

We can all agree that Bakugo has been confident his entire life, so of course he’s going to be confident when he’s older?? duh

But IZUKU is a different story altogether, he’s never felt confident in his life

His whole childhood he was looked down on for being quirkless, and bullied by someone he thought was his friend kachaan

THEN he got a quirk but oh every time he uses it it breaks all his fucking bones and leaves him with all these scars, and he appreciates them because of what they represent but also he’s young when he gets them, he’s already prone to insecurity and when he’s younger ESPECIALLY i think they just remind him of previous failures

He only started to gain a little bit of confidence in his UA days, but it takes time to rebuild yourself after you’ve been torn down for so long, so I honestly imagine he doesn’t even feel an inkling of confidence until his third year or later and even then, it’s new, it’s unfamiliar, he doesn’t totally know how to act

Because yes, by his third year, he’s starting to realize, oh wow okay, I have an incredible quirk and all these new abilities that I can control better, and wow people are paying attention for good reasons , because he’s tall and attractive, probably cuts his hair undercut Izuku supremacy and he’s made some solid friends who help boost his confidence too

But despite all this, deep down he still feels like that quirkless little kid who has to work three times as hard as anyone else and still doesn’t get the recognition he deserves

But OH BOY

DILF IZUKU??? This man is dripping with confidence

he’s older now. he’s overcome a lot. he’s gone to therapy, and worked his way through the pro hero ranks until he earned his number one spot fair and square, that’s something no one can take away from him

He’s loaded now (see below because I go on a whole tangent), he has nice tasteful style that can only come with age and experience

He knows he’s hot now, because its simply no longer something that can be denied, anyone with eyes can see how attractive he is

If he catches you staring at him, he doesn’t shy away. His cheeks might tint slightly, but he stares right back with the biggest smirk on his face. “See something you like, angel?”

Probably finds reasons to show off slightly but he’s Dilf!Izuku so it’s subtle, it’s meant just for you and god does it drive you crazy

The way he’ll reach for and grab at things when he’s around you because he knows you like his hands (he wants to hold your bags and please let him he just wants to feel needed)

They way he stands behind you while you cook, or work, or read…. He sees you sitting or standing so peacefully and he’ll come up behind you to check out what it is you’re doing. He’ll lean down slowly, quietly, stopping when his breath is on your neck and your nose is filled with his scent, and take a quick peek at whatever it is you’re working on. It takes you a moment to turn around, your heart starting to beat faster in your chest due to his looming presence behind you (I DON’T KNOW WHY THIS IS HOT TO ME IT JUST IS OKAY). When you finally turn to face him, his face breaks into a small smile of victory as his strong hand catches your jaw in a gentle grip and he places an achingly soft kiss to your lips before saying “You look so cute when you’re concentrating,”. As you’re about to go in for another, he lets you go and stands up again, his eyes twinkling. “No no, you’re working so hard baby, don’t let me distract you,” WHEN ALL HE WANTED WAS TO DISTRACT YOU and he succeeded and now you’re all hot and bothered, with no hope of resuming what you were doing

Dilf Deku is a tease I know he is but it’s okay he’ll make it up to you later ;)

He’s got shorter, slightly more cropped hair with grey mixed in with the green, his face more lean and angular… not to mention years of pro hero work have toned his body into an absolute work of art I’m gonna pass out just thinking about it

Freckles splashed across his skin like hundreds of little constellations, accented by scars and marks from old wounds (which he’s come to appreciate - they show how hard he’s worked, how much he’s sacrificed to get to where he is now) he’s muscular but I don’t think he’s quite as big as All Might (his fighting style is a lot different so of course he would build muscle in different places) so this means LEGS LEGS LEGS

LEG MUSCLES FOR DAYS

THICK FUCKING THIGHS oh my god

And holy shit his back muscles too WHEW sometimes in the morning when he gets up before you, you watch him sit on the edge of the bed and flex his shoulders and arms to stretch out in the hazy morning light and Jesus Christ

Dilf Deku is older now, he’s spent his entire life working himself too hard and he missed out on a lot of the fun, impulsive, chaotic things young people do, so I think he wants to let loose a little in his older age, have some fun for once

And what’s more perfect than sweet, youthful, tantalizing little you to indulge in ?

He’s so doting, just wants to make you feel special and cared for

And on that note, if you will indulge me for a moment

he’s fucking RICH like

He’s the number one pro hero, he has brand deals on brand deals on brand deals

And I don’t mean to slander All Might and Endeavor, but in terms of a hot, fuckable number one pro hero, Deku has them beat by a landslide so I imagine he has a wider range of brand deals too, because he can sell the sex appeal angle

I mean can you imagine him in interviews? Interacting with fans? Confident yes, but still soft spoken and kind, almost gentle but anyone can tell he’s completely in control, of himself, of the interview, of the audience, this man has the entire country world wrapped around his little finger

All this to say he’s DRIPPING WITH MONEY

he’s like the guy that overtips an OBSCENE amount like if the waiter is really nice he’ll tip like $300 dollars and won’t even blink (I know they don’t tip at restaurants in Japan but this is more for vibes yk)

sugar daddy deku isn’t a stretch it’s a REALITY

Y’all can be officially together or not, either way Deku loves to spoil his precious little y/n

All you have to do is smile sweetly and ask, and he’s absolute putty in your hands

Complies with even the most egregious of your demands, because hey, he has the money to spare, and how could he say no when you look so cute asking so politely?

GOOD TASTE too like he has a lot of money but he knows how to spend it 😏

Additionally he’s, ya know, him, so he’s insanely charitable and donates to charities, go fund me, personal Venmo accounts of fans that need it

if a fan has like a go fund me for some reason that catches his eye, he’s going to donate and he’s going to donate a lot (A LOT)

he doesn’t even do it for the press, he does it bc he’s a good person but my GOD the press eats it up and so do the fans

These hc’s are so self indulgent but all this to say

Dilf!Deku gets what he wants when he wants it and no one is standing in his way

So when he decides it’s you he wants? Well then it’s you he’s going to get!

[ashdumpsterpile]

ASH’S TMA HURT/COMFORT/FLUFF REC LIST 

For the gays. (And @damcrows who’s been dead for the past 24 hours. Rest in peace babe. Read some gay fic. Deny the inevitability of canon. <3)

___

the end, but the start (of all things that are left to do)  by @ajkal2

Jon wakes up.

aka. mag200 tore out my heart

(Very smol, very short, very spoiler. Def recommend for anyone who just finished the podcast.)

remind me how to smile by @tamerofdarkstars

Jon is probably fine, just hiding out somewhere while the whole murder thing blows over and that's... fine. Martin is fine with that explanation. Really. He's got plenty to distract himself - like listening through the entire What the Ghost episode library, for example. Or watching Georgie Barker's Instagram livestreams.

(Yea this was in the last rec list, but you don’t understand THE ADMIRAL GIVES CUDDLES)

Chamomile by Dribbledscribbles

Whatever the ex-tea was, if it really had ever been that last bag of chamomile Martin claimed he’d found tucked in the back of the cupboard, it was fast now.

Martin had tried catching it, chasing it, blocking its way with shoebox lids and plates and an upended footstool, but the thing was just too quick. Jon knew as well as Knew that he might have left off the attempts completely if not for the creature’s preferred game.

The game was, See How Many Times I Can Push Martin Towards Cardiac Arrest Before He Comes at Me with The Broom.

(Scottish Honeymoon Era. Adorable and weird. A vampire gets harassed.)

hey stranger by @ennuijpg

It’s a late night Tesco run, how eventful could it be? It’s not like Martin is going to run into his boss who’s wearing something absurdly different from usual and get the most acute form of whiplash possible from seeing him, right?

(Martin runs into Jon at the grocery store and has an existential crisis.)

roses roses, roses. by @judesstfrancis

Rose scented laundry detergent. Running into Jon in the breakroom. Running into Jon on his way back to his desk. Rose scented detergent. Running into Jon. Roses. Jon. Roses, roses, roses. 

(Canon enemies to friends to lovers au-ish. Martin POV. Very pining much sweet.)

go softly by doomcountry

And there is nothing else besides this. 

(More hurt/comfort than fluff. Scottish Honeymoon Era. Mild eye mutilation.)

Not Alone by @backofthebookshelf

After the coffin, Daisy and Jon are both fragile. They hold each other up. 

(Post-buried Jon&Daisy starter pack. Very hurt/comfort.)

trust my love by antlsepticeye

“you… you’re real, aren’t you?” jon whispers, the fog slowly dissipating from his mind. “it is not a trick?”

“i’m here,” martin says softly, reaching up to grab jon’s hand that was resting on his cheek, intertwining his fingers with jon’s and squeezing. he moves jon’s hand to martin’s chest, resting it over his heart. “you’re alright. i’m alright. take your time, love. let’s just take some deep breaths, okay?”

(TOUCHSTARVED JON HAS ENTERED THE CHAT.)

reaching out by Athina_Blaine

By the time things settled, when Martin had finally managed to crack through his cold shell, feel some of his old self returning to him in bits and pieces, they had found their little routine.

One that had the two of them sleeping in the same bed, making breakfast, going to the mart. Where Jon reached for his wrist while they slept, and Martin luxuriated in the gentle warmth of his fingers.  

But not one where Martin reached back. One that had Martin kissing Jon awake or taking his hand over the breakfast table, because ... Martin never had the courage to try. And then it never became a part of the routine.

And Martin desperately wanted it to be.

-

Martin and Jon have an important conversation.

(More Scottish Honeymoon Era for the soul. Hurt/comfort/fluff.)

Belabor by @janekfan​

Jon's given the position of Archivist and is falling apart at the seams. Tim and Sasha are upset and playing games. Elias is overbearing and manipulative.

And poor Martin is stuck cleaning up the mess.

(THEE first fic I ever read for tma. Season 1, hurt/comfort/fluff, and hints of Jmartin. janekfan is the absolute master of seasons 1-3 hurt/comfort. This is my favorite, but pls check out the rest of their fics.)

tea, blankets, and a damnable stubborn attitude by ivelostmyspectacles

“Are you really gonna stay here and pester Jon all evening?”

“I’m not pestering him,” Martin retorted, sounding vehement if not busy going through the cupboards. “I’m heating up soup.”

“Oh, you might as well make him another cup of tea while you’re at it.”

“Oh, good idea.”

Jon shot Tim a withering look.

(The one where Jon is ill, Martin makes tea and they watch doctor who together. Fluff 1000%.)

A Kind Hand by @voiceless-terror

Jonathan Sims was adjusting just fine, thank you very much.

In which a minor workplace spill causes Jon to realize that he might have friends.

(Ah yes, the other master of seasons 1-3 fic aka voiceless-terror being my other fav author in the fandom. This one is also season 1 hurt/comfort/fluff.)

A Weather In The Flesh by @cuttoothed

"There is a span of years where Jon doesn’t touch anyone other than the occasional hand shake. It’s not so bad. He’s never been someone who’s needed physical affection."

*

Jon has never been any good at making people want to stick around.

(More touched starved Jon! Much hurt/comfort!)

Something Old, Something New by @cirrus-grey

Months have passed, and everyone is doing better than they were. Daisy and Basira are getting married, Melanie is feeling her old self, Georgie is as much herself as she has ever been, and even Jon has stabilized on his wild fall away from humanity. Everyone is doing better.

Well. Almost everyone.

(Daisy/Barsira wedding! Melanie is a bitch and we love her! Jmartin dance! Post-canon (almost) everyone lives!)

The Weight of Love by @voiceless-terror

Jon is a restless sleeper. Martin attempts to adjust. 

(The fic where Jon is literally me and Martin attempts to sleep for 1k words.)

The Art of Conversation by @voiceless-terror

"Do you ever stop talking?"

Jon has a complicated relationship with words. Difficulties come and go.

(Jon has adhd and Martin is in love.)

Novelty by @backofthebookshelf

Jon experiences A Sexual Attraction; Martin has A Concern. They figure it out.

(Any fic that explores the ace spectrum is a 10/10. We stan all ace interpretations of jon on this blog.)

Half a Hug by Dathen

I know you weren’t going to hurt me, I trust you, he said again and again. And then a different kind of fear shone through, hollow and echoing: “Please don’t stop touching me."

-

Or: Life is hard when you're touch-starved but have trauma related to your closest friend.  Spoilers through TMA 132.

(Honestly bless every author who saw jon&daisy and was like. They’re siblings. No I will not elaborate.)

the loneliness never left me (but i can put it down in the pleasure of your company) by Athina_Blaine

It was about Martin making Jon feel safe, treasured, and loved. And it had been so, so long since anyone made him feel that way.

And, in the face of it all, Jon was starting to flounder.

(At this point I just need to make separate rec list for Scottish Honeymoon Era.)

you can watch me corrode by scarletfish

"So, how long have you been pulling this shit then?"

"I… excuse me?" Jon’s indignant, certain she can’t mean what he thinks she means.

"When was the last time you ate?"

(Georgie decides Jon and Melanie need a normal day off. Jon learns that he and Melanie have more in common than he thought.)

(Look, Melanie isn’t my favorite person in tma, but she and Jon are like THE SAME PERSON and I adore fics that elaborate on their relationship.)

Out of the Wind, In From the Cold by @ostentenacity

There are two bedrooms in the safehouse, and two beds.

For a moment, Jon considers asking to share, but decides against it with a wince. “I really loved you,” Martin had told him. Loved. Past tense. And Martin doesn’t exactly have a lot of choices right now in terms of company; it would be cruel to demand he play at feelings he no longer has just to make Jon happy.

(For a moment, Martin considers asking to share. But he dismisses the idea with a shake of his head. Jon has already done so much for him. Martin isn’t about to ask for more, especially not when it’s something he doesn’t really need. He has his right mind back, and he has Jon’s friendship. That should be enough for him. It’ll have to be.)

---

Jon thinks that Martin doesn’t love him. Martin thinks that Jon doesn’t love him. They do not, of course, discuss this. Unrequited love is already awkward enough, right? No need to dwell on it.

(THEE SCOTTISH HONEYMOON ERA FIC. IT’S ABOUT THE PINING, BEING MUTUALLY OBLIVIOUS AND FALLING IN LOVE. 10000/10.) 

I Do by @voiceless-terror

“I, um- this was supposed to be a lot more romantic, I swear.” Martin looks down at the dirty bar floor. “I had it all planned out, I-I was going to take you somewhere nice, and then we’d go for a walk in the square- I’ll still do it!” He hurries to explain, as if that’s the most pressing part of this situation. “It’ll be really nice, I’ve already hired a photographer-”

In a fit of protectiveness, Martin proposes to Jon.

(Everyone lives, Martin accidentally proposes and Jon is crying in public.) 

________

[hyungieyoongi]

Found: “Run Away to You” Part 1

Let me go.

He was, without a doubt, your hardest goodbye.

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Former Actress!Reader 

Word Count: 1.6K

Genre: Fluff + Angst 

Series Masterlist: Run Away to You 

Premise: You ran away from your acting career one year ago, disappearing from the spotlight without a trace. No one from your past life knew where to find you. On the anniversary of your disappearance, your carefully constructed reality is shattered.

// Part 2

---

Looking at the calendar on your wall, the date glared back at you, red marker encircling the number as if you could forget it.

One year. It had been one whole year since you ran away from your old life.

Happy anniversary to me, you thought bitterly.

It hadn’t been easy–no, it had been tactful, strategic. Your best friend-turned-publicist, Marianne, had programmed your social media accounts to simultaneously deactivate. The phone you used for “celebrity” contacts and business-related matters was permanently turned off, stashed away in the back of a drawer. You had already moved all your belongings to a new apartment on the other side of the city, address undisclosed to everyone except Marianne and your parents on the other side of the world. Everything had been in place for you to completely disappear.

You were instructed to lay low for at least one entire month, groceries delivered to your door under a fake name with Marianne’s credit card. You had cut your hair, once long and flowing, to your collarbone. It was often hidden under a baseball hat when you went to your favorite café for a coffee or took your elderly neighbor’s dog for walks around the park. You were completely off the radar, just as intended.

That didn’t stop the world from trying to track you down for a while. Fan blogs speculated where you could have gone, and tabloids splashed old pictures of you on their covers with speculative headlines. Your parents even had to install a state-of-the-art security system in your hometown in the States after a magazine found out where you grew up and tried to break into their backyard. But you weren’t naïve enough to go back home; that was the first place people would expect you to go. Instead, you were hidden in plain sight in Seoul, just sans the flashes of the cameras following you. Without the designer clothes or big sunglasses hiding your features, you looked just like anyone else. Undetectable.  

You had grown up in America, studying acting and Korean during your time at university with Marianne. Upon graduation, you landed a major role in a K-drama, uprooting your entire life to move to Seoul. For five years, you lived in the spotlight under the industry’s microscope. People said you were living the dream, but it started to feel more like a nightmare. It became overwhelming, suffocating.

When the show wrapped after three seasons, you knew it was time. You decided to run. You just wish you didn’t have to hurt anyone else in the process. Especially him.

You had instructed Marianne to give him a letter explaining why you had to go away, but she never heard back from him.

Let me go, Yoongi. Don’t look for me. This is for the best. I will always care about you. – Y/N

The words were emblazoned in your memory, your eyes tearing up at the thought of him reading the words you wrote to him.

Let me go.

He was, without a doubt, your hardest goodbye.  

Your cell phone rang, distracting you from the memories that plagued your thoughts today.

“Good afternoon, dearie!” Marianne chirped on the other end of the phone. “It’s a big day for you. The first half of your manuscript came back from the publisher, so get excited to do some editing!” Hiding away from the world for a year gave you a lot of time to think. For you, that meant time to write. Marianne seamlessly transitioned from being your publicist for your acting career to managing your budding career as an author, even helping you pick out a pseudonym.  

“That’s great news,” you mumbled in reply, taking a long sip of your coffee, the bitterness blooming on your tongue.

“Are you alright? You sound, I don’t know, a little off,” Marianne questioned, concern lacing her normally peppy tone.

“It’s been one year, Marianne,” you replied, knowing she’d understand.

“Oh my,” Marianne said after a beat of silence. “It completely slipped my mind. How are you holding up?”

“I’m alright just a little…weird, I guess? I’m so relieved to have my own life again. But I’m also just kind of mourning my old life today.”

“Oh babe, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Do you want me to come over after work–we can order takeout and watch a movie? Take your mind off things?” Marianne offered.

“No, that’s okay. I think I’m just going to spend the day doing some self-care. We’re meeting tomorrow to discuss the manuscript timeline, right?”

“Yes, of course! I’ll be at the café at 11:00 a.m. Are you sure you’ll be okay today?” Marianne asked, clearly not convinced that you were telling the truth about being alright.

“I’ll call you if I need you, I promise,” you reassured her.

“Night or day, Y/N, you know I’m here.”

After you both said your goodbyes and ended the call, you started to feel restless, needing something to take your mind off the date and the competing emotions swirling in your brain. You decided fresh air and comfort food were the solution.  

Grabbing your keys off the table by the front door, you slipped on your shoes, heading for the local corner store in your neighborhood, mindlessly forgetting your hat on the hook on the wall.

---

Mask pulled over the lower half of his face to conceal his appearance, Yoongi slipped into a nearby corner store, saving himself from the prying eyes that seemed to be examining him a little too closely from across the street.

He had snuck out of the studio without security, wanting to just take a moment to breathe all to himself. He had driven around Seoul with no destination in mind, eventually stopping in a neighborhood he found with a quiet park for a walk. His thoughts betrayed him as they kept going back to you and the letter he received one year ago, now crumpled in the top righthand drawer of his desk. He didn’t need to pull it out today to remember exactly what it said.

Let me go.

Once he read those words, he had stopped reading, smashing the paper together between his fists in frustration, shoving it in the drawer. It had stayed unopened since last year.

Yoongi aimlessly wandered through the aisles of the store, his mind continuously returning to that drawer. He had worked so hard to stop thinking about it–about you–over the past year. Today was a harsh reminder that you were still on his mind. He had stopped calling a long time ago, knowing that you wouldn’t pick up or return his calls. Sometimes though, if he had a little too much to drink with the boys, he’d call your number just to hear your voice on the voicemail recording. He didn’t tell anyone about those late-night calls.

Rounding the aisle corner, he collided with someone, knocking the snacks they had bundled in their arms to the ground. They immediately knelt down, trying to collect them.

“Shit, I’m sorry. Here, let me help you,” Yoongi offered, starting to lean over.

“Oh, no that’s okay I’ve got it.” Yoongi froze, his body going rigid. That voice. Your voice. He hadn’t heard it in-person in over a year. The sweetness of it rang through his ears, reminiscent of the voicemail he knew by heart.

It was you. After all this time.

---

Standing up with your snacks back safely in your grasp, you looked at the man in front of you who seemed to be barely breathing.

You were about to ask if he was alright, but then you recognized it. The black hat–the one with two rings on the edge that he would often wear when he went out. His mask had slipped below his nose, his pale cheeks slightly squished under the pressure of the fabric. Black hair poked out from underneath the hat, falling onto his forehead and into his dark brown eyes. They were wide with shock.  

You felt the color rush from your face, hands beginning to shake because this wasn’t supposed to happen.

You were safe. Safe in your self-made bubble away from the world.

Until he found you. And it burst.

You contemplated turning around, pretending you hadn’t recognized him. Leave him again. But you knew that wasn’t an option now. You had to face the thing you were most scared of–him.

“Yoongi, I-” your voice cracked, barely above a whisper.

“Your hair,” Yoongi remarked, cutting you off, tone flat and quiet. “You cut your hair.” His eyes narrowed at you.

You swallowed the lump that had lodged itself in your throat. “Just...wanted a change, I guess.”

Hide. You wanted to hide.

“You seem to have gone through a lot of changes,” Yoongi said, bitterness seeping into his voice.

You winced at the implication of his words. You took a deep breath to try and collect yourself before replying.

“Can we...can we not do this here?”

“Fine.”

“I live around the corner. Maybe we could just...talk?” you asked, averting your eyes to the ground. When you didn’t hear a reply, you looked back up to Yoongi, who nodded at you once in agreement.

Abandoning your would-be purchases, you walked out the front door of the store, Yoongi silently following behind you. You felt his eyes burning into your back.

Just put one foot in front of the other, you thought to yourself.

As you and Yoongi silently walked to your apartment, neither of you noticed the camera pointed at the two of you, snapping the photo that would change everything.

// Part 2

---

Taglist: @loveyoongles​ @agustd-2020​ @delacyrose224​ @crispychanniee​ @sunshinejunghoseokie @jinsearthh

Want to be added to the tag list? Let me know!

Check out my other work! ❤️ 

[tipsydipsydo]

Der Geliebte

Pairing: Jungkook x artist! Reader

Gender of the Reader: female

Word Count: 6.4k 

Rating: 16+

AU: non idol! Jungkook x artist! Reader AU!

Genre: strangers to lovers AU; friends to lovers AU! (idiots to lovers AU!); love at the first sight! AU; soulmate to lovers! AU (kinda?); unbelievable amount of fluff; a little angst (fluffy angst!!,); tiny amount of smut (one paragraph xD)

Warnings: tiny bit of smut/some sexual tension between both of them; Jungkook is a poor shy thing and is fucking nervous around the reader all the time; teeth rotting fluff; both are so in love with each other that they’re getting stupid to not realize it; both are insecure that they’re not meant for another... just fluff, fluff, fluff and painfully obvious pining over each other! 

A/N: Hallelujah, I finally did it! After I made Sibi @borathae​ wait over three months for her Christmas + Birthday Fanfic I finished it two weeks to late for my sweetest Darlings Birthday! I am so incredibly sorry that I made you wait for such a long time and really, Sweetie, you have all the rights to be still mad at my stupid ass! Nevertheless... I love you so goddamn much and I hope the fic made at least a little bit up for it... Love you!!!! 💕 💕 

Summary: You and Jungkook met right at the first day you opened your own atelier in Seoul after you had to leave your old home behind you. You love paint canvas with landscape motives, other people just roll with their eyes when they hear that you choose such usual, almost boring things to paint. Not so Jungkook, he seems to be different than most of visitors. It’s almost like he can read your feelings through your paintings...

Status: Edited (I am sorry for any still existing errors in here!) 

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「© tipsydipsydo」

This following story is my intellectual property and belongs only to my blog tipsydipsydo.tumblr.com!

I’ll not accept any kind of reposting, stealing or using/editing my work!

That includes reposting my content on other social media platforms too, even when you link me as the original author.

Thank you.

* Jungkook’s POV * 

"In what are you getting yourself into, Jungkook?"

 I quietly ask myself as I get rid of my clothes behind the paravent and throw the dressing gown over his body which you laid out for me. My hands are sweaty, they tremble slightly and my heart beats wildly, as if it wants to jump right out of my chest. Excitement spreads throughout my body, leaving a faint feeling in my stomach and a certain blush rises in my cheeks. I still can't believe what I've gotten myself into . But... you looked at me so pleadingly with your dear and downright innocent eyes that I would have done anything for you with that look of yours. I want to make you happy, see that happy and contented smile on your lips, which always makes a whole horde of wild butterflies break out in my belly. 'Normally I was the shyness and silence in person and with you... with her, I feel for the first timesomething like peace and security. Especially when I consider how shy I usually am around women.', I ask myself and I don't really know the answer to that. But what can I do against my feelings? I don't really know, on the one hand they scare me, on the other hand they feel so exciting and new that I don't want to eliminate them at all.

I don't even know exactly when the whole thing started. In which moment my feelings for you grew, when I felt more than just fascination and admiration for you and your artwork. Six months ago, a small studio had opened in my district, your own studio. On the day of the opening I simply went to it of pure curiosity, I had always had such a weakness for art and photography.

I can still remember exactly how I stood in front of one of your works and was literally speechless and overwhelmed by this picture and all his small details. This painting represents a classic image of the countryside, which was often to be found everywhere. But this work was different. So full of small details and ornaments. It was so much more... As a viewer you can see a beautiful clearing, which is surrounded by trees and protected from too many curious eyes. The ground of this clearing is overgrown with dense and lush green grass, which from the incoming sunlight almost invites you to let yourself fall into the grass. It reminds me instantly of my carefree childhood, when I rolled in it without overthinking my actions too much and those times when I playfully wrestled with my best friends around until our clothes had grass stains all everywhere. I could almost smell the scent of wild, untamed nature. The longer I look at the picture, the greater the longing became. Maybe I could visit this beautiful place one day, together with my partner, my significant other. Playing around with each other, chasing your beloved one until you fall into the grass breathless laughing and cuddling. Maybe we could have a picnic there and feed each other with homemade sweets? 

I didn’t know that such a "simple" landscape painting could touch and awaken so much more in me, in my soul. Suddenly, such a wanderlust came over me that I gasped for air and a heavy lump formed in my throat. My whole body was tingling and my heart was literally screaming to get away from this dreadfully grey and monotonous daily routine of my boring single life, for at least some weeks. I want to go to this place, where I could draw the warm and fresh, natural air could deep into my lungs and pamper myself with homemade delicacies. Just to let the soul dangle and don’t stuck with my closely clocked work life. Maybe sleep until 10 o'clock in the morning and then maybe have a nice nap later. Enjoy the warm nights and hear the crickets chirping. This longing was... irrepressible. This particular wanderlust for nature, just to be out of the city, this longing for exactly this abandoned and untouched forest clearing literally overwhelmed me. What was it for an artist who could trigger such feelings and emotions in me?

I had been so absorbed in the artwork that I had not even noticed that a person step next to me. "Do you like the work?", asked a soft melodic voice, which spoke perfect Korean, but was pervaded by a light accent, which I could not quite assign. I flinched a little, but this bright, happy laugh gave me a tingling goosebumps all over my body. What a beautiful laugh... I turned to the person who was the owner of this beautiful voice. I was startled when I realized that the artist and owner of this studio was standing in front of me personally. I recognized her again, as I had seen a small photo of her in the newspaper article that drew my attention to this beautiful studio in the first place. Already in this picture she had radiated something so strong, colorful, cheerful and lively, which caused an excited flutter in my stomach. 

I admit, I already laid an eye on her just by her appearance. Unfortunately I always had a hard time getting to know people ever since, let alone to talk to women. And now having you, Y/N, personally standing right in front of me, made me feel fluffy and excited in my stomach. Nothing is left of this otherwise so sassy and self-confident  man that I used to be. Only a nervous and stodgy twenty-three-year-old idiot, who did not know what to say or wanted to say, now stands in front of this stunningly pretty and intelligent woman.

Her eyes sparkles like jewels, full of joy, struck me with interest and a playful smile lays on her lips. "Did you not understand my question?", she asked kindly, but nobly reserved. Immediately a rosy puff settled on my cheeks and I stuttered nervously: "Y-Yes, excuse me! I... I was just somewhere else with my thoughts and was completely surprised that they were addressing me personally.... Your works are truly unique! They still show such ‘usual’ motifs and yet they are so special because of these finely elaborated details and this passion with which this work of art was painted. They really are... Unique artworks that you do not forget so quickly. Even for untrained eyes as my owns, I can see that a talented artist has worked on it. I am very impressed by your work, especially this work here!" You could hear the honest admiration from my voice and my heart leapt as she reacted bashful to all of my compliments.

"Thank you, really, thank you so much! I really appreciate to hear such nice words like yours, even if it is rare. I am often criticized for my ‘lack of creativity’, caused by my chosen motives. I just love the rough, almost untouched landscapes of my hometown, I try to depict the ‘normal’ as something beautiful, unique. I would like to ‘really see’ what we already take for granted again. As a wonderful creation, a work of art. Nature is a wonderful example of this, or the architecture of buildings as well. Architects are also artists, although unfortunately they are not seen as such. I just want to offer the obvious things a more meaningful space again.... People like you have become rare. I have observed how you have recognized the true meaning, this beauty and aesthetics in such a ‘usual-looking’ motif. And this pleases me so much that you can read 'between the brushstrokes'. Oh... Excuse me, I always talk way too much when someone shows an interest in art or music, my personal passions. Besides that, I have not introduced myself to you yet, I am Y/N! I was obviously so pleased to see your understanding, empathetic look at this work, if you understand what I mean... Anyway... I can guess that you knew my name already, don't you? What about you? May I know your name?", asked you, beautiful artist, with her really stunning smile.

I swallowed nervously, never before had a young lady mixed my emotions so much in me. Even the picture of her in the newspaper article, which I had read out of boredom in one of my lectures, got me so emotionallyconfused. I didn't want to say it in front of my teasing friends, but I had been really excited when I set off this Friday night. And now the creator of these works of art stood before me and seemed to want to have a longer conversation with me. My heart beats to my throat and I got sweaty hands from this nervousness in my poor body. Honestly, as soon as I wasn't surrounded by my clique of friends, I automatically turned into a nervous, slightly abashed blushing and stuttering guy who behave like an inexperienced teenager. 

In private life, without my best mates by the side, I am not so confident and daredevil. After all, I always had someone who could cover my back when things get tough, while I am on my own without anyone I know. You could usually only believe and trust, not control. That's probably why I struggled with interpersonal relationships. I always overthink too much and have some struggles with my self-confidence.

And now this attractive young woman looked at me with such interest and joy, just me. I was actually the reason for her interest. A joyful and blissful tingling seized every pore, every fiber of my body. Yes, in fact it was just me! Not my best buddy Seokjin, whom I have known since childhood and always sought the attention of everyone. It was no exaggeration to say that he was perhaps a little narcissistic, but only to cover up his own insecurities. Never would I have thought that someone would manage to get this personification of self-love under control. I admired his wife for standing up to Seokjin and keeping him and his dad Jokes at bay. Believe it or not, she of all people had the pants on in the house and knew how to deal with my best friend.

My gaze glided over the figure of the person in front of me and once again I took a sharp breath. I was so nervous to face her personally, a person I already deeply admired and had quite a respect for. I simply did not want to do anything wrong, even if this charm of hers was almost tangible and paralyzed my entire brain with its function. I can already picture how my mind waved wildly goodbye to myself and went to the summer holiday in the Caribbean.

This carefree smile and these beautiful eyes harmonized wonderfully with your complexion. Your features were awake and alive, seemingly always a slight smile surrounded the corners of your mouth, which provoked almost paradoxical reactions in my body. Your smile awake countless butterflies to flutter around in my stomach, which made me quite nervous and at the same time you radiated such a sense of security and calm, as if there was no reason not to get a word out of shyness. My gaze, which I hope examined you unobtrusively enough, wandered to your hands. You had long fingers, I could really imagine how they elegantly held the handle of the paint brushes and worked on these small details extensively in such a calm behavior. Which satisfied and concentrated calmness you possibly radiated while doing that...

A small, noble clearing of your throat again tore me out of my fantasies and speculations. God, what was I today but inattentive! How rude I must have seemed to you...

"Oh, sorry... I... I have not been able to keep my thoughts together all day..." I lied to seem at least a little more credible. Nervously, I pulled on the knot of my tie to loosen it up a little before I have a circulatory collapse. Before I went here, I thought for a long time about what I should wear for this occasion. Jeans and T-shirt were out of the question, too casual and almost an insult for your atelier. A complete suit, however, seemed too overdressed to me and so I decided for a black dress pants and a dark blue dress shirt.Understanding, Y/N nodded and gave me a cheering smile, which made my body tingle again. This woman drove me half crazy alone with his friendly gestures. How could it be that this polite lady got me confused right away?!

And somehow, it gave me a frenzy to leave my secure, anonymous side as a visitor to her exhibition and irrevocably reveal my true identity to you.

"My name is Jeon Jungkook."I answered in a slightly trembling voice, hardly daring to look into her eyes and rubbing my neck unobtrusively.

* Jungkook’s POV *

If only I had guessed what would change in me, how you changed me. That so much more would develop from a pure interest and a simple formal business contact... that you want to make me one of your artworks.

I take another deep breath before I dare to step out from behind the dark red paravent. It is pleasantly warm in this room, I should not freeze, if I am already so freely clothed. My gaze wanders through the small room with the huge, floor-to-ceiling window, which floods the entire room with light. The walls of the room have been painted in a dark orange and red colors and dark wooden planks lay out on the floor. It looks so comfortable due to the warm, dark tones. The orange-yellow evening sun dipped everything into something so cozy... sensual. Somehow into even a little erotic?

Y/N wants to work a lot with the light of the evening sun in this painting, which could be a little complicated if it is not suitable or if it is cloud-covered. But if you have put something into your head, especially in relation to your art, then you do everything you can do to go through it! Also the changing forces of nature cannot stop you from trying to realize your idea. Sometimes, you’re  someone who is quickly frustrated and dissatisfied with yourself as well, especially when something doesn't work as  you wants it to. Nevertheless when it comes to your passion, drawing and painting, you don’t let your idea go away, if you want something, you’ll find a way to make it happen. These are qualities that I know all too well of myself and thus my fascination about you only grows even more. The more time we spent together and I get to know more and more sides of you, the more attracted I became to you.

Your art means a lot to you and you’re quite tough in this respect, can not be overcome by the reproaches and the crushing criticism. That’s exactly what I admire so much about you, having the courage to stand up for personal passion. When I get criticized, all too often I think about really giving up on it, so that I don't have to endure all this criticism anymore. And then I look at you. How focused you are in this moment and carefully prepare for your next project. How you adjusts you easel to the right height, let your self-stretched canvas snap into place, spreads brushes of all sizes and shapes on the small side table next to you and prepares youracrylic colours. I swallow again, as I watched this happen. I am about to become one of your next artworks.

A little uncertainly I walk towards Y/N, the thin dressing gown tightly drawn around my body... never before have I felt so naked and vulnerable. This here is something else. I feel something about it... I feel something for you. For this pretty lady, who sprays her cheerfulness around her and could conjure a smile on the lips of even the most grumpy person. This joy almost kills you, completely engrossed this person and gives you the feeling of floating. You will get the feeling of being welcome at Y/N. To be accepted, with all the flaws and weaknesses that one has. She just smiles at you so gently and lovingly and just says, it's okay. It's okay to be the way you are. Imperfect.

"It is precisely this imperfect, this contradictory and also unpredictable thing that makes us human. That makes us an individual and also interesting. If we were really all as we are expected to be, it would be boring and monotonous. The surprise is only a real gift. Each of us is a very individual gift to a very specific addressee, who is the only one who can truly appreciate this gift. Only then did the recipient find the right person as his gift... Well, if the recipient knows about his gift...", Y/N once said with such a certain look at me, when we went out to dinner together in a restaurant in the evening to clarify some details. I wanted to help her find good contacts in Seoul and help her sell her works.

I can still remember it exactly... it was a quite... extraordinary evening. I was of course once again incredibly nervous and excited. At that time, I did not want to fully realize how much I already like you. Secretly, I had observed my opposite. Your positive and friendly disposition had turned my head all around... and in addition, this beautiful body and her elegant fingers, which already haunt me in the most erotic way unintentionally in my dreams. 

I could not prevent my dream pictures from shooting through my head, which is why my cheeks turned dark red in embarrassment. These fucking fantasies in my head! My eyes stare at the cutlery as if it were incredibly interesting because I didn't dare look up. There were scenes in my mind that made my ears turn red and I would’ve loved to hide behind the menu card. Your body, which made her look like a Greek goddess.

Naked, body covered in sweat, your body shook in lust, you sit up with a wonderful moan... You are on top of me, I could admire your beautiful, almost divine body as you sat on top of me... and rode me. This breathtakingly beautiful distorted face of yours, as if all this pleasure you feel is carved in marble... lids closed, your lips, swollen from all the kissing, are slightly opened which let    your lustful whimpering escape. This grace and elegance, as you rose from me and  then lowered yourself again... as your hands glide erratically over my stomach, searching for support... you suddenly threw your head back and clenched even more tightly around my length. The addicting sounds you’ve made... it’s like the most beautiful melody in my ears... squelching noises and even more of yourjuices gushing out of your sweet, so sweet pussy when you came...

An all-too-familiar laugh tore me out of my extremely indecent thoughts, which quite relieved me at first. Until I raised my head and not too far away I recognized no one but my best friend Kim Seokjin, who made very questionable hand signals in my direction. Oh my God, no! I knew that he had recently changed his job and got accepted for a position as a chef in a new restaurant... but not in this Restaurant! He will never let me life after he found out I was on a “Date” with a woman...

Even though Seokjin was on the other side of the restaurant, I could almost feel his smirk on my own skin. Fuck it, just pretend as if you do not know each other and hit him really hard tomorrow morning in the gym where we meet up for our work out. I quickly turned all my attention back to the person sitting opposite me and tried to ignore Seokjin as best I could.

It was only at the end of the evening, when I had said goodbye to Y/N, that I realized that this meeting had much more of a date than a "business dinner". How familiar we had talked with each other... how much I had thought about licking Y/N the drop from the chocolate sauce of her lava cake from her lips... how it would be... to kiss and touch you...

A noticeable blush has settled on my cheeks as I attended our first meeting together... or even Date in this Restaurant thought back. Four months had passed since then and I suffered from longing for you. You would never see me like I saw you. The reason you wanted to draw me was simply that she needed someone as a model. In addition to landscapes and cities, you want to devote herself gradually to more other motifs. And since I have been the first inquired. Your pleading eyes made me say yes. But I know that for me you have  no more than the feelings for a casual friendship. It hurts to see how you flirt  around so casually with all those other people. I would never be the gift for you as you are for me. If only the recipient would notice that there is a given heart laying in your hands...

"Ah, Jungkook! I’m glad that you're ready!", your cheerful and melodic voice cuts through the silence of the room and you’re walking towards me with excited shining eyes. "Come~," you say and lead me to the chaiselongue, which is placed in front of the large window. The soft, orange light of the evening sun falls on the wine-red fabric of the restored chaiselounge in baroque style. The upholstery has frames covered in gold and also the lion feet on which this historic furniture stands are gilded. Everything was decorated with so many Details, it looks so incredibly elegant and luxurious. On the left side there are some cushions in the same color and an elegant design is carved on the backrest, literally inviting to get used.

"Surely you know the movie 'Titanic', right? Do you remember the scene where Jack used charcoal pencils to draw an nude coal picture of Rose as she laid on the sofa? I would like to draw you in a similar position. I hope it's okay for you if I look at you more closely without a dressing gown... i want to get an overview of your body proportions.", you say, looking me straight in the eye. I notice that you’re very concerned about my privacy and does not want to overstep any of my personal boundaries without my consent. I nod slightly at first until I get a clear yes over my lips. She looks at me silently for a few seconds before reassuring me once again that we can always stop at any time if I feel uncomfortable. Especially your patience and mindfulness of my boundaries shows me how important it is for you as well and how I actually relax noticeably. Y/N smiles cheerfully at me and I slowly loosen the belt of the dressing gown and let the last garment slide to the ground. I feel her in-depth look at me... he is not uncomfortable... only... exciting... in a few different ways.

I swallow again and lie down on the chaiselongue as instructed. You correct my arm and leg position, also rearrange all of the cushions correctly. To my own relief, you put a red cloth over my crotch area. Not that I am ashamed of anything, I am more than comfortable with you already... I just have some worries that I will get a visible problem if I constantly feel your look on my bare skin.

 "It should be able to guess something, but not be allowed to see everything right away...", she whispered with a smile, before her fingertips unintentionally glide tenderly through my happy trail. One of your last smiles are... not really to interpret. Then you return to your easel.

* The Reader’s POV *

Carefully you sit down on your old painting stool, already quite worn out on the edges and stained with the most different types and tones of colors. It had originally been dark brown. You smile dreamily when you think back that you’re used to dangle your legs around when you were a little kid because it was way too big for you back then. For eighteen years now you have exactly this stool and this easel. They had been a gift from your grandfather for your fifth birthday. He had awakened the passion of painting and drawing in you and passed his talent on to you. A certain melancholy seized you when I thought back to how you used to paint your first real picture on canvas with your new easel in the old music room in your grandfather's country house. 

It had been the old, dusty grand piano, which must have been more than a hundred years old at that time. How the country house survived all these wars unscathed, you ask yourself to this day. Perhaps there had already been something magical about it at that time, which should remain untouched. Perhaps the small estate should remain an inconspicuous symbol of hope, the hope that at some point the sun and peace will return when the unbearable suffering and sorrow of this cruel time is over. When the wars were over and all those seeking protection who had fled to this country house were able to return to their own homes again. This house, this estate you can explain your childhood with a single word. Home.

You lift your thought-lost look from your empty, folded hands and look to Jungkook. He takes your breath away every time you see him. He is so special, such a wonderful and yet you firmly believe that he has not been chosen for you, such an ordinary woman as you are. He would belong to someone else with whom he would be happy, although he is the only one who was able to understand and read your works, the language in them. It... it had been such a beautiful moment when, six months ago, he stood in your newly opened studio, so absorbed by the painting of the forest of your childhood. All the other visitors had only looked at it briefly and smiled wearily at the fact that it was again only a landscape painting, but did not grasp what the story behind this work was. Why the artist chosed this very motif, to see, to feel what the creator wanted to communicate through the work. 

But Jungkook had been different. He had given the work, your personal heart, a chance to unravel the true meaning behind it. He did it slowly, bit by bit with his eyes... grasped with his whole mind and heart and finally let himself be influenced as a whole. You could tell from his body reactions that he felt exactly what you had felt when you painted it last summer. Longing. Infinite Longing. Mixed together with melancholy, a little homesickness and sorrow to a unique emotional color. The day you painted it was the last time you saw the house in your official possession. Your grandfather had left it to you. But unfortunately you lacked money, you had to pay some debts and with the best will you could not earn the money in other ways. So you had to sell it with a heavy heart. Your beloved birth and childhood home and the associated lands, you had to sell your true home away. The picture is the only thing left of it. And Jungkook was the only person who understood what you wanted to express with the painting. Longing. My Homesickness.

When all these sensations came upon him, he involuntarily clenched his hands tightly, his chest lifted and lowered quickly, his Adam's apple hopped repeatedly. His eyes were glassy. He experienced your longing as directly as you did. He... is so special. So infinitely amiable. He... he is the only person who’s able to read your true feelings in your works. He is able to read between your brush strokes.

So today you will try him... to paint a confession of love with this act. Maybe he could read... what you feel for him. Even if you know that you will probably never see him again. Because you would not be the recipient of his love and affection. He's just too... too... gifted for a simple artist like you. He would never be your gifted person.

Your gaze glides tenderly and caressingly over his body. Trying to absorb every little detail of his body, his charisma and his character into you and let it flow into the painting. Every birthmark you want to put on the canvas and hold on. You want to show Jungkook how beautiful he is. How godlike he lies before you on this majestic chaiselongue, how masculine and muscular he is, as if he wanted to embody an Adonis. You want to paint every muscle, even the smallest visible muscle, on the canvas in a realistic manner, you want to capture the strength and security that he conveys to you over and over again and make it visible to him. And yet... his gaze often corresponds to that of an intimidated, insecure fawn, which does not dare to want to get up on his legs on his own. The fear of falling again is too big. Through this painting you want to show Jungkook what he really is, what he represents for you and what you feel for him. He is... so contradictory. He is strong, godlike, powerful... and at the same time, so infinitely uncertain, vulnerable... almost pure.

Silence enters your little studio, only the regular breathing of the other and the muffled noise of the busy world outside the door could be heard. Here... here, it feels like time is standing still for a moment for the two of you. Your shared eternity had begun.

To your happiness that it is summer right now and it stays bright for a long time. Today you take more time than usual to mix colors. You want to mix a shade that perfectly matches his skin tone. You want to get the exact color of his black hair down onto the canvas, and the perfect brown for his beautiful eyes. The evening sun and the leaves of the huge treetops in front of the large window conjure up the most beautiful patterns on his immaculate body. A game of light and shadow. It seems to you that Jungkook's body, every single pore of his body has a tiny diamond, so that he begins to sparkle in the sunlight like an infinitely precious jewel. The evening sun warms him, lays a thin layer of sweat over his body. Every detail you try to bring to the canvas, every feeling, every movement of my heart, everything you feel for him, you want to bring to this canvas. You want to make him a masterpiece. Because for you, he is the most beautiful specimen, the only true crown of the human creation.

Some black strands have come loose from his manbun and have fallen on his forehead. It looks stunning, to see him like that. I had never seen him with a messy or even completely open hair... but even now these strands loosened from the braid make his facial features look so much softer and more relaxed. In it, the adult and strong man united with a young, vulnerable, shy boy. The result is... infinitely beautiful. He possesses both sides, so he makes the seemingly inexhaustible divine human being.

His eyes, drawing his eyes with that expression in them, cost you a lot of nerves. Too often you misunderstood this infinite longing that you find in his dark, brown eyes. Again and again you have to restrain yourself, not just to get up, to go over to him... and to kiss him.

This longing look you misinterpret is as longing as you own... according to your closeness, your touch, your affection... according to your love. Because you love him. You love everything about him, his sheepish laugh, the way of rubbing his neck shyly, the way he speaks and explains his point of views about things, how he smells... just everything... every blemish he blames on himself, you think it’s like an artwork on him. He is so perfectly imperfect that you just fell in love with him.

The sun has already set and only the last pink and purple streaks could be seen in the sky, with which the past day says goodbye to the world. One last time you can hear the velvety stroke of the brush over the canvas before you finally put the brush aside. It is finished. You have given everything that is in your power, used all of your artistic abilities and knowledge to the utmost and you have incorporated everything that you feel and think about into this artwork. And what you see put a smile on your lips, but also makes your pulse rise. What will Jungkook say when he looks at it? He will see it... can he read what you feel for him in it?

With a trembling voice, you call Jungkook and look at him one last time. The last time the sight of this male beauty was granted to you. One last time.

After Jungkook has wrapped himself in the dressing gown again, he slowly comes towards you and your easel. Your heart is throbbing as if it really wants to fearfully flight and jump out of your chest. Your body gets hot and cold at the same time and suddenly your hands get sweaty, the dried color on your skin mixes with the sweat to a uncomfortable mess in your palms, which somehow makes you even more nervous. Then he stands next to you. Looking at the canvas for the first time himself. The last brushstroke is still drying.

Once again there is silence, which makes you incredibly nervous and with every second that passes, you want to follow your instinct to escape. Jungkook's pupils are dilated and blown out, whether with bewilderment or horror, you can not recognize. One of his hands shoots up his mouth, he trembles all over his body. Suddenly you hear a suppressed, throaty sobbing. Surprised and a little appalled, you look at Jungkook, who has shut his eyes tightly and presses the palm of his hand even harder on his mouth, as if he wants to muffle every sound. Tears escape the corners of his eyes. This is a reaction... which you would not have expected...

Gently, mindful of any kind of resistance, you wrap your arms around his neck and hold him. He doesn't say anything, he doesn't sob, he doesn't whimper. He just cries. Tenderly, consolingly you hold him, without wanting to distress him. He literally presses his face into the crook of your neck. Salty tears drench your blouse, but it doesn't bother you. The reason why he had such an emotional outburst, you just don't understand. But still... it's okay. It is valid.

As he slowly calms down and his breathes becomes regularly again, he carefully lifts his head out of the crook of your neck and wipes the last tears out of his eyes dry in slight embarrassment. He slowly releases himself from your embrace until you finally stand silently in front of each other.

"What title you’ll give this artwork?", he asks softly, in a rough, throaty voice. You swallow . "It shall be called 'Der Geliebte'. ...it is german and translated it means... ‘The beloved’ ", you say barely audibly and lower your head. After this confession, you can no longer look him in the eyes.

Jungkook takes a sharp breath in and you're actually just waiting for a devastating response from him that would be like a death threat. But nothing of this happened. Instead, your chin is suddenly raised by his fingertips and you look into Jungkook's beautiful eyes. He bites his lower lip a little uncertainly,his own gaze falls on your pretty shaped lips. 

"Do you... do you allow me to kiss you?", he asks quietly... barely audible for you even though you’re standing so close to each other. He doesn't dare to look you into the eyes after such a question, he is too afraid that you deny his request. But you can hardly believe your luck, a high pitched ‘yes!’ flew over your lips and before you can control yourself, you press your own lips right onto his. They are incredibly soft and kiss you back in such a delightfully and endearing insecure and shy manner as no other could ever have done it.

Your heart beats full of joy and bliss and in your belly, the butterflies fly somersaults of all different kinds that your whole body began to tingle. Your mind cannot get a grasp of all this yet, but this... you don't need any more of it at this moment anyway.

The kiss is tender, shy and somewhat uncertain from both sides. Jungkook is very insecure and shy, but before he can escape like a frightened deer again, you put your arms around his neck and let your hands rest in the nape of his scalp. Again and again you detach yourselves from each other only for the fraction of a second to get a breath of air into your lungs in order to find each other lips again... until you stopped for a few seconds.

"I like you... I like you really, really much, Jungkook... I even dare to say that I fell on love with you.", you mutter softly against his lips. His shy, happy smile was too much for you, so you immediately kiss him again. Perhaps because of the sheer joy and maybe of the certainty that he feels the same for you, the next kiss turns into something more passionate than before...