#also hi astarion romancers how art thou

[horridgoblin]

ok, serious lore implications aside. but why does tav look like theyre saying "he said no PICKLES"

[gemshroud]

I was thinking more about Entreri in BG3 and wrote this post in my head in bed last night lol

Ranking BG3 Companions By How Likely Entreri Would Be To Romance Them

Caveats: This has no bearing on rp if you write any of these characters btw, this is just for funsies. Also please understand that despite this ranking Entreri is most likely to just never fuck and I love that for him :) Withers vc: Thou art bitchless?

#1 - LAE'ZEL

Most likely to romance. He gets her and actually respects her a great deal. (Looking at the rest of the party) "Why are you all being so precious about this? She's right and knows more about mindflayers than any of us." Entreri would also appreciate the Act 2 love battle A Lot.

#2 - ASTARION

They're more similar than Entreri would probably like to admit. Bonding over sexual trauma unexpectedly breaks some of his walls. Neither of them know wtf they are doing but they will be ride or die about it, will screw over everyone else here and run away together if needs must. Murder husbands.

#3 - SHADOWHEART

They would probably have a weird little mutually antagonistic start because they're both mean and cagey and Entreri hates clerics. But they wind up having more fun in that rivalry than expected. Entreri also hates Selune for Reasons. It would start as appreciation for Shadowheart's competency but could easily become "oh no, I care about this strange woman's tragedy and want to see her escape her circumstances in a way that's uncomfortably familiar, oh fuck."

#4 - WYLL

Entreri's dynamic with Wyll would be so fascinating. Wyll is a lot like Drizzt. Entreri would deeply resent and chafe at Wyll's idealism and yet Wyll is skilled enough to back it up so... Oh! How Entreri seethes!! Wyll meanwhile is probably more amused than anything. Very much one-sided nemeses LOL Entreri vc: I don't know how to flirt with him so I have to declare him my enemy.

#5 - MINTHARA

Ngl his initial response to Minthara would be "I am not getting involved in more drow bullshit" which is fair. Perhaps surprisingly, he would also deeply hate attacking the Grove. He's actually not about unnecessary violence or violence just for the sake of it against ordinary people, and he probably relates to the tieflings on some level despite not really caring to help them. Go figure. However... Act 2 Minthara and onward... "There are no gods left for me"? He would vibe with that mightily.

#6 - KARLACH

Honestly he probably likes her a great deal, but perhaps she is too good for him LOL

#7 - GALE

He would get along fine with Gale if they actually talked but they probably don't. Entreri is probably mildly annoyed by him LOL

#8 - JAHEIRA

This ranking is mostly for Jaheira's disinterest tbh. Entreri probably respects her the most of anyone here. They would gossip so venomously and so beautifully together.

#9 - HALSIN

Similar feelings as with Gale - just kind of mild annoyance. Also Entreri has the carnal desires of a ball of lint so sorry, not really interested in climbing the bear man.

#10 - MINSC

Entreri hates this man so deeply.

Bonus:

RANDOM NPCS ENTRERI WOULD GET ALONG WITH (platonically):

Derryth Bonecloak, Mol, Madame Lucretious, Zarys, Gortash, Nine-Fingers Keene, Wulbren, all the little gnome terrorists tbh, Lakrissa, Grendel

RANDOM NPCS ENTRERI WOULD HATE:

Cazador, Volo, Kagha, Nere, Naaber, Dolly Dolly Dolly, Raphael, The Emperor, Ketheric Thorm (dad issues), Florrick, Ulder Ravenguard, the Underdark fish guys lol