#also hi! been admiring u just didnt know how to break the ice before!

[madrcams]

@koopzilla cont. [ ✦ ]:

His pug snout flattened and then flicked itself back into place.

"Watch it! That's sensitive."

" My bad! Didn't mean to push too hard! "

But she reaches out for his nose yet again- however only gives it a very gentle, surface pat where she'd previously booped. Sorry!

... she's still openly snickering in amusement, though. Little stinker.

[kwonhoshi0]

𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐢, 𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐤𝐢 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐠𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐫𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 ~

reqs are open ! masterlist

pairing : bakugou x reader, denki x reader, todoroki x reader

genre : fluffy FLUFF with a smidge of angst

warnings : blood, scratches, injuries

you have been with class 1A since the first day and you pushed yourself as much as everyone else but with such a powerful quirk it was hard to keep it under control while also focusing on defeating the opponent, you can only control it fully if you’re calm so acting out of rage would only lead to the worst.

the league of villains had yet again come to ruin your training and since they were weak they only came to take a hostage, the target being you, you weren’t quite sure why maybe it was because of your power but you weren’t having any of it >

> quirk based on eleven from stranger things <

| bakugou |

> he noticed that all the villains were surrounding you

> man did not hesitate to run full speed at them

> even though you weren’t dating lord did he have a crush on you fat crush

> of course you liked him too but this was not the time

> midnight and hawks were patrolling when they heard what was happening aizawa was already fighting when they came give the man a break

> they were a bit occupied with the nomus when the thugs started surrounding you

> bakugou blasty angy boy he knows you aren’t weak but he was not about to let you take a bunch of thugs the chances of you not getting hurt was 0.5%

> a scratch on you would leave the man howling

> todoroki and kirishima see him blasting towards you and go to help

> before you can even get a word out to them you know what you need to do

> you tell them to stay back you jumped up causing them to halt and brought all the force from your quirk with you using yourself to push the invisible force of your quirk towards the thugs

> you were suspended in the air

> to anyone else it would look like the thugs were controlling you but bakugou knew better he knows you’re powerful but he was not expecting this

> you screamed releasing your power, your hair slightly gravitating up sending all the force you gathered to your hands towards the thugs

> with the amount of force you used you pushed them all into a mound on top of each other with probably several broken ribs

> what you didn’t realise was that everyone was looking at you as you slowly floated to the ground landing in bakugous arms

> you felt weak but as soon as you fell into his arms you felt strong again cringe

> man was in awe

> if he thought he liked you before he is now in love

> screams at you before anything

> ‘WHAT IF THINGS DIDNT GO HOW YOU WANTED HUH??, WHAT THEN’

> ‘SEE YOU HAVE BLOOD COMING OUT YOUR FUCKING NOSE IDIOT’

> you shut him up with your lips words don’t do justice

> since you took out 80% of the thugs shigaraki had already left, he might act like a child but he isn’t stupid he knows he lost

> as the officers are doing a count of everyone you were getting a kiss from recovery girl your injuries weren’t too serious but your hands were sensitive from all the force you used

> as soon as you got to the dorms he was all over you so was everyone else but he got you alone

> kisses you straight up, hands on your waist and on your jaw

> ‘you’re mine’

> ‘okay’

[ denki ]

> as soon as you were in the air he knew what was about to go down

> he swung at any thug trying to stop you

> all the long range thugs : ded knocked out

> you wasn’t watching him you were focusing on concentrating

> he watched as you unleashed everything on those thugs

> he knew you could kill them if you wanted but of course you didn’t thatd make you no better than the thugs so you stuck to gravely injuring them :]

> thinks it’s so hot

> your hair floating because of your power is so cool to him

> what he thinks is even cooler is the calmness on your face you’re literally beating thugs to a pulp, you look unfazed

> panics a little seeing you fall but with todorokis help ice slide he catches you

> moves your hair out of your face wiping the blood coming from your nose for you

> you didn’t have to but you used a little too much of your power without meaning to so you were o u t of it

> he may be an idiot but he’s a gentleman when he needs to be

> again you don’t need much help recovering only a couple scratches you weren’t knocked out for long

> everyone else was worried as fuck since they hadn’t seen you use this much power before they didn’t know the effects it could have on you

> midoriyas bones literally break when he uses too much so they assumed the worst

> but you were okay

> denki just,, stared at your peaceful form

> you looked calm before but this was just pure peace despite the scratches and the blood

> hes whipped

> thought you were awesome before but now he’s in shock how can one be so perfect

> you thought he was human pikachu therefore the cutest being but you weren’t about to admit that especially since you didn’t know how he felt

> as soon as you’re back in the dorms in front of EVERyone

> he grabs you by the waist grinning like an idiot, moves your hair out of your face

> and kisses you, you melt into his kiss

> screaming inside, everyone else screaming at this sudden kiss

> everyone knows how whipped you are for eachother

> cuddles all night his arms around your waist yours around his neck, his face in your neck

> ‘hmm warm baby’

> ‘baby huh?’

> ‘don’t act like you don’t like it’

[ todoroki ]

> he knows you can handle yourself, he also knows your limits

> as soon as your feet leave the ground hes in awe

> everyone else stopped fighting even the villains stopped to watch

> it’s like you’re hypnotising them

> ofc you don’t know everyone is watching you

> as soon as your hair lifts up and you scream unleashing everything

> todoroki is just .o.

> he is so in love

> he always glances at you in class the way your hair perfectly frames your face

> the way your [eye colour] eyes stand out amongst the 100s around school

> he knew he liked you that much was certain, he would never have acted on it if not for this

> it’s not that he didn’t like you enough. it’s that he didn’t know how much he liked you or how to go about it

> your body starts to fall limp

> he used his ice to make a quick staircase over to you

> catching you he slips, hawks using his feather to catch you both

> you watch him with hooded eyes admiring the way his hair falls over his eyes

> he looked back at you the blood running down your nose the scratches on your hands

> but you still look so beautiful he thinks

> moving your hair to the side he carries you to recovery girl who was waiting outside with the others

> everyone was okay a couple scratches on midoriya and bakugou but other than that and some sprained ankles no one was majorly hurt

> at the dorms you were simply sat

> ‘you’re so pretty’

> we know todoroki is a blunt guy but for him to say this, your crush, FLUSTERED YOU

> he said this to you as you were sat reading on the sofa, he was sat opposite you

> at first you didn’t believe he said that to You before you realised everyone else was in the kitchen next to you

> actions speak louder than words so you leaned over put your hand on his jaw and kissed him

> man leaned right in grabbing your waist so you’re now in his lap

> we know he isn’t great with affection

> but this man has been chasing you for what seems like years now

> he was not about to hold back not after suppressing his feelings for so long

> after what seemed like hours but was actually 40 seconds of you kissing, denki saw from the kitchen and ran in taking multiple photos and whispering to tell everyone to hurry over

> maybe the moment was ruined but you were both way too into it to notice

> then again peace at the dorms has never been an option

> the squeal that mina let out was what gave it away

> both blushing todorokis fine ass goes

> ‘girlfriend?’

> ‘yes boyfriend’

> ‘ok we’re dating’

a/n : maybe this was wayyy too long but i had fun writing it >:( pls #s work i beg

do not steal my work :]

request me !!

[perhapsthanatos]

10:32 pm with yuta ♡

nct’s yuta x fem!reader (got inspired by a dream of mine & found the idea really cute)

alternate title: be the james dean to my audrey hepburn

genre: fluff. a pinch of angst. non idol au. badboy!yuta au.

word count: 1400~

playlist: chinatown by wild nothing, lover’s rock by tv girl & work this time by king gizzard and the lizard wizard.

warnings: featuring johnny (not a warning though). smoking cigarettes. cursing. lowercase intended. not proofread.

a/n: hi i was supposed to post a vampire!haechan fic but i really wasnt happy w it in general :( the plot or overall idea of the fic was really good, but i just felt as if i didnt do it justice so here we are :( but ngl, i kind of like this concept more? maybe bc i can see it more vividly? idk, i feel like my writings r getting repetitive & its getting on my nerves lmaoo this is getting long im sorry do u guys even read this part anyway? i would also like to apologize abt the amount of projecting im doing lmao ive been having some rough days & i love my sister but hate being compared to her so often so this is a way for me to rant abt it ig? also so sorry its coming out a little later bc i woke up late today (& procrastinated for the rest of it so here i am posting really late at night) & decided to go to the convenience store to get ice cream (& a ton of other bad shit pls dont do this its rlly unhealthy) for breakfast bc i can :) any who, enjoy lovelies <3

“oh my, y/n! you’ve grown up so well! just like your sister!”

“oh! i’m sorry i’ve almost mistaken you for your sister! y/n is your name, correct?”

“y/n, darling, you are looking so dashing! you really do resemble your sister, don’t you?”

“ah, you must be y/n! i’ve heard all about you and your sister from your father!”

you swear that your reddening cheeks are threatening to fall off any moment now from all the fake smiling. the hundreds of superficial compliments, the insincere flattery and the need for these people to constantly compare you to your godforsaken sister makes you feel even weaker than you are. it gets harder and harder to keep up with a big persona that isn’t at all you. as lucky as you are to live such a lavish lifestyle, you can’t help but hate how your family has to be so perfect. you hate how you have never fit in with them, even if you are so good at faking it. you hate how you have always been stuck in your sister’s shadow, constantly haunted with the reminder that you yourself aren’t good enough. you hate how you now have to entertain the rich and brainless guests at your parent’s gala because she’s gone for some stupid prodigy competition and everyone is only talking about her in front of your face. so what if she’s better the better sister? you still have the right to earn respect, right?

you’re exhausted from all the small talk. your facade gets more brittle by the second under all the pressure. your body feels as if it's gonna give out due to your brain shutting down after all that interacting. you try to keep on going with the night as it unravels itself by being the perfectly poised poster child, trying to make your parents proud. but alive yet almost completely devoid, you decide enough was enough. what if you left right now? no one would notice, would they?

after pulling up your phone discreetly to send a few text messages, you pass through lots of people dressed in gold and finery in a way that wouldn’t have you noticed right away. keep your head down and don’t you dare make eye contact with anyone. nearing the end of the room, grabbing the first glass of whatever alcohol you see and downing it in one gulp, you start walking away as quickly as possible from the ballroom. “ignorant privileged fucks,” you angrily whisper to no one in particular, setting the now empty glass on whatever surface and begin to head to the main exit where no one could spot you running away.

“and what do you think you’re doing here, miss?”

a voice interrupts you, looking up you see that it is your father’s head butler; johnny. he is dressed in a simple black suit that makes him appear taller than he is. his long brown hair is slicked back and his bowtie seems brand new. you have known the man since he started working in your household less than ten years back. you were a reckless child, often trying to find ways to sneak out, finding a way to escape from this life and he sympathized with you. after all, he could barely imagine living your life, never catching a break for yourself and always pretending to be someone you weren’t. he often helped planning when you would sneak out into the night, scheduling things like what time you should leave and what time you should be back, more specifically a time when no one would notice. he would take care of your form of transportation and have your location on at all times, just to be extra safe. as much as he wants you to have fun and have a bit of freedom, he still worries that something might happen to you. because of all this, you two have grown to have a very strong bond. you could confidently say that he is most definitely a parental figure in your life since your parents (and even your sister) are often overseas for work.

“what do you think i’m doing? you think i wanna be in a room with those half-baked bipeds? fuck no!”

“i know, i was just joking. you looked like you were about to explode in there, i wish i could help.” he laughs, pulling out his phone preparing what you might need. “so what will it be for today? the driver? we just need to pay him to keep his mouth shut. a taxi? it’s cheaper than paying the driver, but you still need to pay… not like that’s a problem for you though. maybe an uber would be good enough—“

“actually, i got myself covered. thanks.”

his jaw slightly drops and his eyebrows furrow. he looks straight at you in shock. “what do you mean you got yourself covered?”

you look down at your feet, a nervous habit. “i got myself a ride, you don’t need to help me. i’ll be back as soon as dawn comes.”

he raises his eyebrow. “who’s your ride?”

“doesn’t matter,” you glance down at your phone seeing a notification and wave a goodbye, leaving rather suddenly. “i gotta go, i’ll text you when you need to open the gates!”

“y/n! wait! who’s your ride— and she’s gone.” johnny sighs, watching as you run towards the front gates, tossing your stiletto heels away on the grass while you’re at it. he heads back inside, silently hoping you’ll be fine.

knocking the window of the old black mustang parked outside behind the big bushes, the driver rolls down his window and sends the most charming smile.

yuta in his black beanie, long blonde hair, worn out doc martens, signature leather jacket and black skinny jeans. it almost makes you laugh on how he wears the same thing almost everyday but still manages to look so good.

he is most notable for having a big bad boy reputation and you knew that he was the breath of fresh air you needed in your life. a person who can understand having the pressure of having to be or to fulfill your persona. a person you can completely be yourself around. a person who is full of warmth no matter how cold he may seem on the outside.

“get in, princess.”

and that was all you needed. you tiredly walked to the other door and sat yourself in the car. rolling his window back up, he looks at you. you are wearing a simple yet stunning black dress along with silver jewelry adorned on your neck and wrists. your makeup is perfectly done but still struggles to hide the fog in your eyes. he has the sudden urge to clear them away. he softens at the sight of you. no one is perfect, but he finds you being perfect enough without ever having to dress up.

“where to?” he asks as gently as he could. he knows that you are most vulnerable during these moments and that it is hard to finally break down your walls after a day full of stress, so he doesn’t pry immediately. all he wants to do is to keep you here, safe and away from your burdens and for you to stay comfortable with him, even if it couldn't be for long. but is that too selfish of him to ask? he hates how you hate your life and it is taking every bone in his body to not run away with you. but who is he to tell you what to do or what to change anyway? all he can do for now is try to find a way to make you genuinely smile.

“take me anywhere,” you whisper to the latter. “i just want to be as far from myself and my life as possible. miles away or the nearest convenience store, just take the long way home before dawn.”

you look down at the cup holders, spotting an open cigarette box. you tug one out of the nineteen and light it with the lighter you kept in your pocket. you lean back and close your eyes. he only admires as you bring the cigarette to your lips, exhaling a cloud of smoke afterwards. letting the radio play quietly, he starts the car and begins to drive away from the mansion. he can’t help but wonder how you (an elegant daughter) and him (a bad boy) are millions of worlds apart, but more similar than you think.

© perhapsthanatos (efa)

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

14 (bodyguard AU) and 46 (blind date) sounds fun,,, your choice of ship ( ˘ ³˘)♥ ( ˘ ³˘)♥ ( ˘ ³˘)♥

14. Bodyguard AU || 46. Blind date

Random choice generator got me creativisleep!

~

roman's a semi-popular actor- he's never really been to an awards show, and he's not been in That much, but he had a small but strong role in a real popular film and plenty of leading ones in lesser known movies. he's got enough of a following to be satisfied with himself, even if it isn't That huge of one

because of this, roman didn't take the possible dangers of his fame seriously... until he got jumped by one fan at a play in his hometown. he came out fine (he's always fine ;p) but it made him reconsider his choice to not have some sort of protection

he ends up hiring remy to be his bodyguard, a choice he Slightly starts regretting when he realizes remy, despite having excellent marks out of bodyguard school, is about as professional as a golden retriever

they take roman's food out of his fridge Whenever, borrow Way too many of his shirts (and roman hasn't seen his BMC 'boyf riends' hoodie since they got their hands on it), and is never in typical bodyguard wear (they wore a suit for the interview and never again)

but they also bring roman coffee (when did they get his regular figured out...?), talk to him like he's just a Person and not a celeb, and have yet to try and kill him themself so. roman's alright with them staying

(plus, is it so wrong if roman enjoys how they look? he deserves for a bit of an eye-candy sorta bodyguard, damnit, they're with him all the time after all)

remy's been with roman as his bodyguard for a few months when roman decides he cant just keep Lookin at a pretty person, he deserves to have a pretty person to kiss and cuddle with too!! so he pokes around for a bit, finds a non-homophobic service (he's pan, so he could Technically use a plain ol' straight service, but he refuses on gay principle), and uses it

idk how datin apps work but this one that im makin up is a blind match up app, which takes ur information and uses it to randomly pair u up with random accounts. the app keeps account info privated until After the first date has been gone on, to really maintain the 'blind match' aspect. the matched up people play a mini guessing game through the app about places they can go for a date until location and time is determined

roman likes the idea of the app mostly to keep his own identity secret as long as possible- he doesnt want people pickin his account Just bc he's a celeb, y'know?

the first couple of blind dates dont go well tho... most are nice people who roman just isn't compatible with, one was a straight woman who spent the entire date being Very homophobic despite roman's rainbow heart + pan flag pins, and someone who was clearly Too Much Of A Fan (remy had to physically pull them off of roman and help him escape the park before they could latch back on)

oh, did roman not mention? remy's been coming on all his dates with him

because of course they are! they need to protect roman! whether that's by eating dinner in the booth over or sitting two rows back at the cinema or awkwardly half-stalkin roman and his date while they walk about

so they're always there, to bring roman there and take him home, and listen when he complains about the bad matches and lament the almost-winners, and convince him he is a catch that needs to try again because eventually Someone will realize he really is too good to pass up

(remy always says that line in a weird way)

so he keeps trying... until roman has possibly the worst date ever

because he gets stood up. it's fifteen minutes past the scheduled date time, he's gotten no text explainin where they are, but he's sittin at the restaurant alone and starting to become rather upset by the pitying look the server gives him when he says he's still waitin on someone else before he orders

remy slides into the seat across from him at the 20 minute mark. shoots roman an apologetic smile that an outsider would mistake as a 'sorry im late' one when roman knows it's a 'sorry they didnt show' one

roman appreciates the gesture to save him, but he almost just wants to go home at this point. he's tired and bein stood up feels like Shit, actually, and he's about ready to call off the whole dating thing really, dramatic as that may be (like it's not his middle name)

but remy says smth about this place having really good sandwiches, and it's clear they're tryin so hard to help roman out here, even a little, and roman can't just dismiss that effort, so he picks up his menu again and orders smth and tries to ignore the way his face heats up just the slightest at the relieved smile remy flashes next

lunch with remy is great, actually, better than it would've been with whoever couldnt be bothered to show or apologize or Anything. remy even knows the way to an ice cream shop on the way home, sayin it's for roman's 'broken heart' as they pay for it

except, well... roman's heart isn't feelin so broken anymore

it's actually feeling pretty put together. really functional. functioning really fast. especially when roman's looking at remy. or when remy's lookin at roman. or when they smile. or when they laugh. or when they speak. or when they-

roman doesn't fall asleep until 2am that night, heart still racing a bit, screaming into his pillow a bit as he acknowledges he is wholly and totally head-over-heels for his bodyguard

he tells remy the next day he's done with dating for a bit, saying he's still upset over being stood up. he doesn't mention that it's also bc remy's ruined all other people for him

things try to fall back in routine from there, but it's a bit harder when roman's trying to not be so in love with someone who just works for him. and remy's definitely started pickin up on it too- they had asked him just last if he was okay, that he didn't seem as upset by remy takin his clothes anymore, and that didn't seem like him, was he getting sick?

the opposite, actually, absolutely nothing makes me feel better then seeing you walk around in my shirt or jacket or whatever else, please never stop and also kiss me?

roman just said he was tired

eventually... roman decides this can't keep going on. remy's giving him more weird looks these days, and roman is pretty sure being around remy so much without Any kisses is starting to cause brain decay (it's not, it's really not, remy always bein on his mind is just a side effect of.... pretti........). so, he takes matters into his own hands

admittedly, maybe firing remy wasn't the best way to go, given remy immediately demands to know why, what they did wrong, even asking if roman's being blackmailed into this

"blink once for yes, twice for no" remy asks, lowering the sunglasses they always have on to look directly at roman's eyes

roman doesn't blink for a full minute. he might not be breathing for that minute either. has he ever seen remy's eyes this close? has he ever seen them at all? they're such a brilliant shade of brown. roman could drown in them. he might be already

roman's pretty sure he started this conversation standing up, but maybe not, because when he finally blinks and remembers things outside of remy's eyes exist he's sitting down and remy looks extremely concerned

"okay... what's wrong, hun?" they ask, and oh no, they look so sad, and worried, and that's not good, roman should fix that right now, regardless of whatever he was doing before (he's forgotten)

"im gay" he responds intelligently. this will fix everything

remy, however, just looks confused. "yes?"

"for you" roman adds, helpfully, sure that Now remy will understand they're just really very pretty and nothing's wrong and if they feel bad still they should look in a mirror because then they'll be good again

now it's remy's turn to sit in silence, expression frozen in one of shock. they still havent put their sunglasses back on, so roman doesnt mind, bc this gives him more time to stare at remy's eyes

"you're having a breakdown because you're gay for me???" remy finally asks, expression unfreezing to look incredulous and a little hurt

roman returns a similar look. "im not having a breakdown!"

remy scoffs. "yeah, sure, right, that's why you suddenly froze and completely stopped breathing and minorly collapsed after i... look off my shades to look at you..." they suddenly break out in a smirk. "oh my gods, you're a gay disaster"

roman doesn't try to deny it, especially with the knowledge he apparently did stop breathing to admire remy's eyes. they have a point

"how long?"

"since that date you hijacked after i got stood up" roman admits. he finds it extraordinarily rude when remy starts laughing

...until they're pulling out their phone, hurriedly opening up the exact same dating app roman had been using, showing a log of all the dates they had planned- there's only one marked as having actually been attended

same date time and place of the one where roman had assumed he had been stood up

"you broke my heart!" roman says as remy puts away their phone, over-dramatically, not actually giving a damn, just feeling gay and a bit giddy at the thought remy hadnt gone to any of the other dates, just theirs

no longer worried quite as much about roman for the moment, remy's smirk just grows, smoothly moving from being crouched in front of roman to being set firmly in his lap, lazily brushing hair out of his eyes and wow was remy always this warm? and stunning? and perfect?

"i dunno babe... sounds more like i stole it" remy teases, movin from playing with roman's hair to cuppin his cheek, leaning in close and not even bothering to pretend to be looking at anything other than roman's lips. "which, yeah, bad bodyguard etiquette... i hope you can forgive me..."

roman doesn't need his words to answer that tease

[dimpledpran]

me beginning to read ur response; are we the same person? lol completely feel the homebody/fic reading/picky eater, that sounds like a nice time tbh hehe...ahh yes that's good, im the same way i will listen to a bit of everything! but oh i used to love 1D, and ed sheeran is p good too, honestly i only ever heard his first two albums lmao then the next one i kinda didn't vibe too much w it lmao oops. LITTLE MIX THEY ARE MY ABSOLUTE FAVE! god, did u see the jesy news? how we holdin up? (1/?)

oh that is so exciting! what kind of dancing? (continues to read and realizes u answered this as u went lmao srry) oof i admire anyone that has rhythm in their bones cause lord knows i can't dance to save my life lmao but wow wow ok that sounds really really cool! i hope u can go back to dancing&such if u really enjoy it! sounds really cool tbh SINGING IS ALWAYS GREAT NO MATTER THE TALENT YOLO lmao don't let anyone stop u from ever singing lol. sounds like uve done some good ol tv watching (2/?)

oh man ice cream is well deserved and received on any day good or bad but ahhh yes pls a good ol fic can always be a good mood lift :')) i love this we've got quite a few shared interests and such its p cool considering we are the same age!! well im 26 still but i turn 27 in feb lol so but skdlfjs seems like u really loveeee food that is great! and aww the mom food comment, ok same here. u have really good taste in food! u know ive never had indian food! i wanna try some! (3/?)

i can't seem to find any other asks we have shared? i could have sworn i had sent a couple other ones? and u answered? i sha;; go thrpugh your blog since its not in the tag ok! don't wanna leave something un-replied too heh (4??/?) << i think

found it! i knew it! us 'adults' have such busy schedules huh lol i hope you've been resting better these days and not staying up TOO late lol do let me know when ur ss thing happens! wanna hear all abt it heh but anyways lovely i hope ur doing well! taking care of urself and having a nice time! stay safe and i will be back soon!!(5/5)

Hiya love! I shall once again leave my response below the cut. :)

Hahah yay! Glad to know I am not alone in that! 🙈

Used to listen to 1D? Not anymore? I’m offended on their behalf. Just joking. Who are your fave artists?Ed’s first two albums are amazing, the recent one is more pop, but there are a few beautiful songs! YESS! OMG LM ARE SO UNDERRATED AND IT IS DEPRESSING! yeah, I saw the news. I am upset, but I also really am happy that she finally can focus on herself. The industry is too messed up and I hope she gets to where she wants to be mentally and emotionally. She really deserves the best! How are you coping with that?

I have a friend who has no sense of rhythm, is stiff as a rock. We ended up being partners when we learnt Salsa in school, and she chose to be the “lead” and i was to follow her. It was not an easy ride, but in the end we got a B for the exam. So i believe that if she can get a B, anyone can dance! Just gotta keep trying! 💪 HAHAHAH IKR! it is always fun to just belt out and have bathroom concerts! My neighbours should be honoured to listen to me! 😂😂Hahah yeah. the TV watching is what lead me to creating this blog, so no complaints. 

Awww that’s so cool! We are of similar age and have so much in common! Yeah, I am a bit of a paradox. Like I am very picky with food, but I also really love food. haha.  Yess! Mum food is always the best! OMG you should try Indian food!! It depends on if you like more sweet or spicy or sour stuff, but there is pretty much something for everyone in Indian cuisine! Where are you from btw? I dont think I asked this before. (I am sorry if i alr did, and this is a repeat qn)

Oh god! I am so sorry!! I didnt realise that I misspelt the tag, so it was mzdsnetcc instead of mdzsnetcc.. I am sorry that you had to scroll through and find it. But I have rectified it, and I will make sure i spell it correctly henceforth. 

Definitely have been resting better! Thank you! Yeah, working life is more hectic, but i honestly will take this over schooling again. I am so glad to be done with studying. My office SS is finally happening tmr! I can tell you about it next time on how it goes! Thank you for your lovely message! I hope you are having a great week! I believe you have tmr off, so I hope you enjoy your break! Hope you get to do something fun! Take care and stay safe! 🥰🥰

[maknaesdancersrappers]

Warm (14/16)

prologue

cotton, wind, blow, blouse.

hair, flower, aroma, scent.

cold, eyes, ice, dive.

touch, warm, melt, lips.

a/n: i cried writing this one

-

You’ve noticed ever since your 7th anniversary, Taeyong has been distant and jittery around you. It started with him blankly staring at you when you would tell him about your day and it would take a few calls of his name for him to snap out of it. Next, he would always come home late, either from working overtime or hanging out with Johnny ever since he moved back to Seoul from Chicago.

When you consulted your best friend, she said it might be the infamous ‘7-year itch’ that happens between couples; when the relationship starts to recede. You argued that it can’t be because he’s always just as passionate and enthusiastic when you two would fool around in bed.

“Well, maybe he just wants sex. You two are still unbelievably celibate.” She scoffs and under her breath she grumbles, “I still think his pepper is an inch.”

You scold her when you caught what she said, shoving her shoulder.

“Then he’s probably cheating on you! Like, are you sure he’s really working overtime or meeting Johnny?”

You frown at her suggestion, “It’s not like him to lie.”

“Remember that little incident with what’s-her-face and wanting to have him ‘study each other’s anatomy’ back in senior high?”

That left an unsettling feeling in the pit of your stomach and it stayed there until you got back home where Taeyong was browsing through the usual stack of papers he brings home from work in the living room.

He looks up from the file he was holding, his eyes a little red and the bags under them were darker than usual. “Oh, hey.” He briefly stands up to kiss your cheek before plopping back down on the couch. “Have you eaten? I made some beef stew.”

“I’m still full… Aren’t you going to bed yet?”

“I will in a while. I’ll just sort these out.”

You nod and get ready for bed, trying to forget the suggestions your best friend had mentioned earlier.

Taeyong clambers onto the bed just a few minutes after you settle in and as he was about to scoop you into his arms and warm you up from the cold airconditioning, his phone rings. He mumbles an apology when he sees your dismayed expression before getting up and answering his phone.

“Why are you calling? Ya! I’m thinking it through, wait, I’m in the same room as her.” He says into his phone in a hushed tone, thinking you didn’t hear him as he slips out the room.

Your chest tightens, thinking what through? And why did it matter that you were in the room.

“Maybe he’s cheating on you.” Your friend’s words echo in your head.

You fell asleep before Taeyong came back to bed and when you woke up the next morning, he was gone already. He left a note by the breakfast he made you, telling you he had to go work early, and you can tell he was in a rush because of his handwriting.

As you dusted your face with setting powder, your gaze lands on the small jewelry box Taeyong had gotten you for your birthday 2 years ago. You haven’t been wearing any of your jewelry since you only used them for night outs or formal events, but today you felt like wearing at least one of them. Upon opening the navy faux leather box, it was a mess of tangled chains of necklaces and bracelets on one side and neatly arranged rows of your earrings where rings are supposed to be. You see the rose pendant he had gotten you before and untangle it from the others. On the leaves, it had his initials and since you felt so distant with him the past weeks, you decided to wear it.

But it had still bothered you all morning about Taeyong’s actions and your friend’s words still haunted the back of your mind. You hated it that it made sense in your head, but you refused to believe any of it. You were so out of it during work that your boss had advised you to take the rest of the day off.

You barely worked in the morning, yet the second you got to your apartment, fatigue started to set in. Without another thought, you open the door and toe off your shoes on the mat. You thought you were seeing things, but you see Taeyong’s loafers--the one he wears to work--on the mat, and what made you feel ten times worse were the black pumps beside it.

“Taeyong?!” You didn’t mean to actually screech, but when you hear more than one hurried footsteps inside the living room, you repeat yourself and stomp towards the noise.

“[Y/N]!” Taeyong awkwardly stands in the middle of the living room, hands behind his back and looking flustered. “W-what are you doing home so early? Are you sick? Are you okay?”

“Am I okay?” You scoff, “Are you okay? What are you doing home so early?”

“I, uh, forgot some papers.”

“Oh, did you?” He nods his head at your question. “Did you bring a co-worker with you, huh?”

His eyebrows furrowed together and as if a lightbulb went off in his head, his eyes widened. “Uhm, I--”

“Where is she?” You demand as you looked around the room. When you feel his hand on your shoulder, you push him off and glare at him with wet eyes. “Are you cheating on me?”

“No! You know I would never even think of that!”

“Then whose heels are on the mat?”

“Miyoung’s!”

You and Taeyong had never screamed at each other like this.

“Who the hell is that?!”

“Johnny’s girlfriend!”

And as if on cue, the front door shuts and Johnny’s voice booms, “Hey, Taeyong, the flower shop only had peach roses, [Y/N] is fine with that, right--oh…” He walks into view with a three large bouquets of the roses he was just talking about. “A-am I late?”

On the corner of your vision, you see Taeyong shake his head while covering his face with a hand.

“Late for what?” You asked, calming down a bit.

Suddenly, a girl runs out from the laundry room and went straight for Johnny. She looks at you with a tight smile. “Hi, uhm, I wish we met on better circumstances, but I think it’s best that Johnny and I leave. Let’s go, hun.”

“Wait, what’s happening?” Johnny looks at her and back at Taeyong, but she hushes him.

“Hush, Taeyong can handle this.” She says, glancing at him and gives him a thumbs up, mouthing “You got this.”

When they left, you turn to Taeyong and wait for him to explain.

“Uhm, do you want to sit down first?”

“No, I’m good standing up.”

He sighs, “Okay. Uhm…” His eyes fall on your neck, making him reach out and touch the necklace you wore. “You haven’t worn this in a while.”

“Don’t change the topic. What the hell is happening?” You snap at him and he offers you an apologetic smile.

“When I bought this, the store also had these rings; really expensive rings. And I knew I didn’t have the money to buy them so I didn’t think much of it until I saw this one particular ring. I immediately thought of you and I don’t know why I did, but when the lady who sold me this necklace offered to reserve the ring for at most 3 months, I took it.” He pauses to swallow. “After I gave you this necklace, I started working different part time jobs so I can save up for the ring. I didn’t even have enough when the 3 months were up, but my mom lent me the money because she knows how much I wanted it for you-- how much I love you.”

Taeyong pulls out a square box from his back pocket and you recognize the packaging as the same one that came with the necklace from years ago. “So I’ve had this for 4 years because I didn’t know when to give it you; I kept waiting for the right time, and if you came home a little later, I could have given it to you like I planned.”

You stare up at him, “But, we already celebrated our anniversary… w-what’s with today that you have to ask Johnny and his girlfriend for help?”

He inhales deeply, closing his eyes as he slowly exhales. With one last breath, he gets on one knee and holds your hand, gazing into your eyes.

“I swear to God, I had a whole spiel to tell you, but you came too early and now I can’t remember most of it.” He chuckles, “And I feel like I should apologize for taking so long to do this, but [Y/N], you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You’re patient and understanding with me, you know how to put up with me, and I’m--I’m me because of you. I loved you for 7 years and I promise to love you even more for the next years to come,” He opens up the square box and reveals the most elegant ring you’ve ever seen. “Will you marry me?”

You don’t even realize that you had held your breath or that you’ve began crying until you attempted to answer him. “Wait, I just feel so stupid for thinking that you were cheating on me.”

He shushes, vehemently shaking his head. “No, no, it’s okay. Please answer me, baby. One word, yes or no. And whatever it is, I’ll accept it.”

You choke back your tears at the thought of him understanding if you reject his proposal, “Of course, it’s a yes!” You pull him up from the floor and throw your arms around his shoulders.

He hugs you back, wrapping his arms around your waist and you feel it: the warmth of his body that you missed so much; the warmth that made you feel that you were home.

“Is this really happening?”

He laughs, breaking the hug off to put the ring on your finger. “Why? Are you having second thoughts?”

“No!” You cry, briefly admiring the ring before returning your attention on Taeyong, who wipes your tears with his thumb, “Never.”

-

a/n:  i will always cry while writing marriage proposals bc its the only time i allow myself to be so cheesy and im so soft rn it didnt help that taeyong had apple hair for inkigayo :c

this is still open  (u kno if anyone else is interested in getting to know me)

follow me on twitter? @ohyesjaehyun

[phantomrubies]

Dancing for Infidget prompts? Infinite would have to stand on his toes and Gadget might start bending down to meet him half-way. Also, while waltzing, Infinite would always looks floaty and graceful, but Gadget would keep slipping into a polka waltz. They'd keep standing on one-another's toes, but Infinite can't help but smile a little when seeing Gadget look so energetic and happy. (THIS WAS GONNA BE THE ONE SENTENCE AND I GOT CARRIED AWAY SORRY)

AYEEE THIS IS A RLY CUTE PROMPT THANK Ui think i didnt entirely nail this bc im v rusty w my writing rn, but hopefully what ended up tumbling out suffices sdfghjgf i’ll dump it under a read more!! didnt have much of a proper direction so what happened just kinda happened lmao

There’s flour everywhere. Absolutely everywhere. Coating the wooden countertops, clinging to their fur, the substance spreads from area to area with seemingly no end amidst all the other kitchen chaos. Pots and pans also clutter the sink in disorderly piles, sugar spills from a packet left open and slumped over on its side, used utensils are strewn around, there’s a small puddle of milk on the tiled floor… the list could go on.But Infinite and Gadget are having the time of their lives. Caring not for the disarray, the two banter back and forth as they finish putting their cookies into the toasty oven at long last. While not the most professional looking lumps of dough, the wolf insists it’s perfectly fine; they’re made with love.“Well, so long as neither of us get food poisoning. Love won’t save us from that.”The teasing comment prompts said wolf to playfully swat at his arm with a checkered print tea-towel in protest. “Hey, I may be a sloppy baker, but I’m not that careless!”“…I guess I’ll take your word for it.”Due to the heat in the room gradually rising what with the cooking, the long-haired mobian reaches over to unlatch and open the window. The light summer breeze that flows in is instantly gratifying, fluttering the curtains and ruffling said hair somewhat, and it carries the scent of flowers. He can now hear faint, distant sounds of small children frolicking in the park nearby to their flat, almost drowned out entirely by the soft, mildly static hum of their old radio. Despite being past its prime, Gadget had insisted on keeping it, claiming the slightly warbled sound gave it an odd kind of charm. Naturally, Infinite had tuned the aged thing into a rock station.He soaks in all the elements of the homely atmosphere as, speak of the devil, Gadget slides up behind him and buries his snout into the crook of Infinite’s neck. Long white locks are delicately brushed aside. As the wolf speaks, his warm breath tickles against obsidian fur, and there’s that distinct, little hint of giddiness in his tone that weaves its way in whenever he’s close to his partner. They only made things official just recently, so it’s understandable, really.“You hungry..?”“Hm?”“Aw, c'mon, don’t say you still don’t have an appetite after all this work. They won’t take long!”“Oh, don’t worry, I’m definitely not letting these go to waste.” Infinite can practically feel his boyfriend’s familiar, beaming grin, and chuckles.For a moment they merely stand there enjoying one another’s company, until Gadget abruptly shifts, taking hold of one of Infinite’s hands. He then leans over with the other to turn the volume dial of the radio propped on the windowsill, cranking it up higher with a gleeful sparkle in his amber eyes. The words that follow the gesture are spoken more akin to an affectionate demand than a means of invitation.“Dance with me.”“..Dance?” Infinite blinks, cocking his head with one comically raised brow. A slight smirk graces his features. “You’re… not kidding, are you?”Feeling the wolf interlock their fingers together more securely, he supposes he has his answer, but if that wasn’t enough of a giveaway, Gadget nods enthusiastically. As what he can vaguely identify as the intro to some early 2000’s hit starts up, he finds himself dragged into……a waltz?“What makes you think I’d joke with you like that?”Infinite is clearly struggling to hold back his amusement, trying to ease into the unsteady flow - if their awkward shuffling could even be considered as such - of movements.“You know, Gadget, this choice of dance and the music don’t exactly match. In fact, they clash horribly.”“Who cares?! Having fun is what’s important. We may be terrible,” the statement is unintentionally emphasised as Gadget steps on his foot, “but we’re terrible together.”…He can’t argue with that. A grin graces his muzzle, and Infinite laughs, admiring his energetic companion with a gentle and humoured gaze. The two allow themselves to get lost in the music, and quite frankly, most certainly each other as well. They sometimes slip into completely different styles of dance, swaying back and forth and always entirely off-beat to the rhythm of the song, but lack a care in the world. Infinite swears his heart is drumming far harder than bassline of this track, and as it draws to a close, in an attempt to end with a flourish, Gadget for once makes a rather bold move and dips the other mobian. This would have worked out…If it wasn’t for the milk on the floor.Infinite’s bare foot slips on the spillage and he falls down without even time to register it, pulling his poor boyfriend with him until they’re left in an unceremonious, tangled heap on the chill tiles. Gadget is on top of him gaping down in surprise and embarrassment, the radio continues to blare obnoxiously, their prides are down the drain……and then they break into laughter harder than they have in weeks. Who could possibly keep a straight face? The sheer hilarity of the situation hits and both can barely just wheeze out words of apology to one another after the tumble they took. It requires a solid few minutes to calm down enough for them to meet gazes again without it inducing another chuckle fit, but once they do, Infinite is left breathless not simply because of the amount of giggles they’ve shared by this point or having the wind knocked out of him, but by the sheer happiness in Gadget’s eyes. The wolf is absolutely radiating joy, and to know that he had a part in bringing him that joy? It makes his heart soar to indescribable heights. He lacks a cheesy enough metaphor to truly express the way his love’s presence makes him feel, in fact.Gadget tilts his head with a curious smile as though silently questioning the unwavering, awestruck stare, and that’s when Infinite kisses him. Hands find themselves running through unkempt, but wonderfully soft auburn fur.He’s too adorable, damn it. It’s spontaneous and brief, but lingering; the two are reluctant to withdraw. Infinite finds he tastes of all things sweet and sugary, like strawberries and cream, or his favourite candy, and Gadget’s smooth lips ghost over his admittedly more chapped own, feather-light but with a deeply resonating fondness. It remains like this for… well, he isn’t sure how long. What, you expect a guy to be able to focus enough to count the seconds at a time like this?“As much as I love kissing you,” Gadget finally mumbles between each tiny peck, his cheeks heavily flushed, “The floor isn’t exactly comfy, Infi. Plus, the cookies are gonna burn…”Infinite smiles and rolls his eyes. He laughs in deep huffs, and strays to pepper a few final smooches over the other’s freckled muzzle, before ceasing in his affections entirely. “It hasn’t been that long. I do agree with you about the floor, though…”That being said, Gadget manoeuvres off of him and within a moment, they’re both back on their feet and rummaging around for a pair of misplaced oven-gloves. Suffice to say, while Infinite’s rear might be a bit sore the next day, he deems the fall worth it. Entirely.…“Have you been eating the icing, by the way?”…“How’d you know?”

[okreadyscenarios]

Astro Ships: o(^^o)

ive never done a ship desc. before ahhh here goes: my fave animal is either a horse or a wolf, i Definitely believe in aliens (man u gotta be so humanity-centric not too lbr here), ive taken dance, drama and singing classes for Years, i bloody Adore chocolate ice cream, i desperately want to be a screenwriter or novelist (im gonna study english and film at uni)

im quite a talented writer i guess?? mostly at writing english essays tho,,, idk how entertaining that is ;; my aesthetic is constantly changin but man do i love autumn aesthetic atm,, like cuddlin in front of the fire with autumn rains outside,, yess. im a person who cant choose between cats and dogs lmao i feel cruel choosing tbh (bc i have one of each probably), my life has been consumed by kpop recently i have no idea abt whats in the western charts atm i need help

(did i send that 2nd ask on anon?? i feel like i didnt omg,, pls dont reveal my url if so aH) anyway, i asked my friend and she said she would describe me as a "lowkey highkey meme, absolute soft sinnamon role" and a "hype man, basically jackson wangs spirit twin" :DD i hope this is enough for u to pick a ship haha maybe i sent too much,, oh welll, thank u!! and congrats on 500 followers!!

((You did send the second ask on anon, and you didn’t send too much at all, don’t worry, love~ <3 Thank you so much!! ^u^))

I ship you with Moonbin! <3

Explanation + Fluff:

- okay let’s break this down -

you’re both soft sinnamon roles <3

you both believe in aliens (probably)

can’t choose between cats and dogs?

that’s okay bc Bin is both! :D

lolol i’m sry i had to make that joke;;

you both rock the autumn aesthetic~

- case closed the defense rests your honor -

you two are just so supportive of each other <3

like he is so impressed by your writing skills

you amaze him

he does everything he can to support you and cheer you on~

like proofreading your work

giving you feedback

and being an excellent audience

also when you’re working on a project and haven’t emerged for like 8 hours

he’ll bring you chocolate ice cream or smth

and kiss the top of your head

and just remind you how awesome you are <3

((and since Binnie doesn’t like chocolate you never have to worry about him stealing yours lol))

he got himself vanilla caramel swirl, dw

and you’re his hype man in return <3

like if he’s having a rough day at practice

all he’s gotta do is call you

and he knows he’ll be recharged and ready to go by the end of the call

you help motivate him to work harder

like you two inspire and motivate each other so much I just <333

it’s an awesome thing you’ve got going ngl

he rly admires your ambition~ <3

he also helps keep you updated on the western music charts

bc he loves listening to english music

so you guys share faves and jam together~

he LOVES snuggling by the fireplace with you when it’s cold

or when it’s rainy outside

tbh autumn is his favorite time of year

bc it’s snuggle season <3

like I can see him buying matching fuzzy socks for you two

((his have little horses on them, yours have little wolves))

and matching cocoa/tea mugs

and just cuddling by the fire

sharing a blanket

his arm wrapped around you

and he’s wearing that beanie/glasses combo

((you know the one I mean <333))

you rest your head on his shoulder

and he links his fingers with yours

and just gently kisses your forehead

and whispers how much you mean to him

and how much he adores you~ <3

wahhhh my heart i’m sry

i’m a sucker for autumn snuggles;;;

A N Y W A Y

he obvs loves dancing and singing w/ you~~

and one day he asks you for help with his acting

like he says he’s always looking to improve

and that you’re RLY good at acting

so would you pls teach him??

and you agree

so you ask him what type of skill he wants to rehearse

and ofc he says stage kissing the sly devil;;

you, being professional, decide to go along with it

giving him pointers and whatnot

he’s a little awkward/shy about it...

until it comes time to actually DO the kiss

then he DIPS YOU <3

and full-on legit KISSES YOU <33

you can’t help but go along with it~

you feel him smiling into your mouth

and you realize then that one of two things has happened

either this boy lied about his acting skills bc THIS KISS~~

OR he was using this whole exercise as an excuse to kiss you;;

((hint: it’s not the first one~))

ugh you two are just so cute my heart can’t handle~ <3

he often sends you cute texts throughout the day~

just little things like “love you baby~” “you’re doing great!” “can’t wait to see you later <3″

you’re kind of always on his mind;;

you two believe in each other so hard tho

like you’ve always got each other’s backs <3

you’re just like the snuggliest cutest power couple ever don’t fight with me on this <333

This Astro Ship has the Nessa Seal of Approval ~  ☆

Ships open 1/29/17-2/4/17

[babygirlblogging-lise-blog]

My First

I failed my driving test. 

That was in the fall of 2017, I was a senior in high school. All of my friends were getting their licenses and cars while I was stuck being a passenger. The woman who failed me thought I wasn’t confident enough. Like damn, can’t even be nervous without being penalized these days huh? She failed me for the most ridiculous shit. But that has nothing to do with the story I plan on telling. 

A few weeks before my eighteenth birthday I tried again. This was something I needed to do before I turned 18. Giving up wasn’t an option. There was no way I wanted to retake my written if I didn’t pass before I was considered a legal adult. The guy who tested me this time? He was fine as hell and now that I think about it, I was supposed to text him when I turned eighteen. I lost his number, sadly. But that also has nothing to do with the story. I want to tell you the story about the first guy I-

-’ve always been cheap. I was ten when my aunt was going to get a new car. I convinced her to save her old car for me so that when I started driving I wouldn’t have to buy a car. By the end of the summer of 2017, my grandpa fixed up the old car and I was all good to go. Free to go wherever I wanted. I no longer had to wait around for people, waste money on lyfts or walk. So naturally, I took myself on adventures. 

One night, against my better judgement. I lied to my mom and said I was going to hang out with my friends. If I would have told her what I was really going to do, she would’ve gone into over protective mode and I didn’t want that. I just wanted some time to myself. I drove over the bridge and into Philly. Not for a concert or any other event. I just wanted some me time. I parked my car. Got oreo ice cream and sugar cookies from Insomnia Cookies and walked around the city. 

Not going to lie and say I knew exactly where I was at all times. I wasn’t even guaranteed that I was safe, I wasn’t focused on my surroundings. All I know is I was somewhere around Broad Street, because that’s where Insomnia Cookies was located. I came across this huge, gorgeous building, I’m not very good at names. Everything was lit up and there was art on the sides of some of the buildings surrounding it. There was even a fountain in front of it all. The scene just looked so beautiful. I walked across the street, hopped up on a ledge and just took it all in. It felt serene, even with so many people flooding the sidewalks. I sat and continued eating my snacks, I was enjoying clearing my head. Until someone interrupted me that is… 

“Hey.” I looked up to see a cute guy. There were a few girls not too far from me talking. It was the beginning of August, late at night but still pushing eighty degrees. Of course they were clad in clothes that left nothing to the imagination. I figured he was talking to them. Guys like the ones who look easy. He couldn’t have been talking to me. So I went back to dipping my cookie into my ice cream and admiring the scenery. I didn’t really acknowledge the fact that he moved a little closer to me. He said hey again and I finally looked up at him directly, before looking around. He laughed a little. “I don’t blame you for being that into ya snacks. I love their shit. But I’ve been trying to get your attention for a minute.” Yep, he’s definitely talking to me. I was confused as to why though. I get hit on by guys pretty often, I know I’m not ugly but with him talking to me, I felt extremely insecure. Suddenly I wished that I had dressed a little better. I looked like a child for fucks sakes. I was wearing a gold fish shirt, black tights, a hat that said “Hoodrats” and Chucks. I was even swinging my legs off the ledge, eating ice cream! 

He introduced himself as Dey. I wanted to know the name his mom gave him so I asked him for his full name. Ayinde. Pronounced Uh-zhen-day. Unique. It has African origins. He told me that my name was almost as pretty as I was. If I were white, I definitely would have blushed. I didn’t understand why he made me feel so shy. 

 I learned that he was mixed with Irish, Haitian and Cuban. Interesting mix, I know. Despite his slight baby face, he turned out to be 20. He was tall, about 6’1. He had taken his hat off to redo his ponytail, he tied his curly, brown hair back into a man bun. He was light skinned with a slight tan. Doe brown eyes paired with the cutest smile. He was dressed in all black, I would’ve been a little concerned if it weren’t for the logo on his hat. I could see a tattoo peeking out from under his short sleeved shirt. Just my type. 

I was tired of the small talk and beating around the bush. “Why’d you come over here to talk to me?” Instead of replying, the douche just smiled and then hopped up on the ledge next to me. It was weird. I was supposed to be having me time, if any other guy did this I would’ve been rude. I wouldn’t have given them the time of day. I wasn’t even afraid, Ayinde strangely made me feel safe. Something was telling me to give him a chance, instead of shutting him down. 

“Well, I was on break, I work across the street.” He points to a small cafe. “I saw you walk by and… I don’t know I thought you were beautiful. Now that I’ve gotten closer, it seems so effortless. No make up and you’re not even dressed up.”

Shit, I have no clue what to say to this. He’s been nice and respectful. “Thank you.” Well, that was lame but it was safe. We talked more before he had to go back to work. He was funny as hell, we both had the same rude, dark, sarcastic humor. He complimented me pretty often and he seemed kind of bummed that he had to leave once his break was over. 

“Why don’t you grow some balls and just ask me what you wanna ask me.” I thought to myself, I should be a fucking actress. I’m great at faking confidence. 

He laughed and just smiled at me for a second. “Well, I would like to get to know you more. Can I get your number?” 

You know when you give someone your number, you almost expect them to wait days or weeks to text you. Surprisingly, Ayinde texted me that night. 

AYINDE: hey beautiful, u get home safely?

ME: Oh shit, I see u found ur balls! 

AYINDE: lol yea yea yea. I know I was acting like a pussy earlier but that’s not how I usually am

***

AYINDE: FT me? I haven’t seen u since we met punk

ME: No I look crazy rn 

AYINDE: Is tht even possible? I think you’re cute af

ME: aww thanks but everyone’s entitled to their own insecurities

AYINDE: Ig but that’s y u need me 

ME: wym?

AYINDE: to take away your insecurities

ME: Doubt that’s possible 

AYINDE: try me

***

ME: entertain meee! I’m bored, stuck at my great grandma’s house :(

AYINDE: I literally just woke up, still in bed

ME: Luckyyy, my head’s fucking killing me

AYINDE: wish I could help

ME: me too lol do u have superpowers? 

AYINDE: no, do u?

ME: Nah I’m not tht awesome 

AYINDE: I think ur pretty awesome

Ayinde and I got closer over the next month. We hadn’t actually seen each other after the first time we met. He worked crazy hours and still had school. I worked everyday and had school as well. Plus, I wasn’t completely comfortable meeting up with a guy I didn’t really know. He understood that. He always made sure I was comfortable before we did anything. He eventually convinced me to facetime him… a lot... and when we didn’t he acted like a big baby.

ME: u happy now?

AYINDE: lol no

ME: y not -_-

AYINDE: I got nothing pretty to look at now

ME: whose fault it tht?

AYINDE: idk. Do u kno?

ME: Lol yea ik

AYINDE: tell me 

ME: yours :P

AYINDE: well if u came over we wouldn’t have this problem

I was a very late bloomer. I knew freshmen girls who got pregnant, meanwhile I hadn’t had my first kiss until I was 16. I didn’t start dating until 17. I was a fresh 18 and I was still a virgin. I waited a while to tell him because I liked him and didn’t want to scare him off. But he surprised me, I learned that he wasn’t like other guys. Most guys only want you for one thing. And that’s to get them off. Not all are gonna be lovey dovey when you’re not putting out. 

ME: I hate being a girl. I think my uterus just exlpoded. Im dying

AYINDE: Aww u can’t die yet, I havent taken u out yet

ME: wut do u want from meee

AYINDE: I told u what I want 

ME: hmmmm

AYINDE: i didnt? 

ME: u could have an ulterior motive

AYINDE: lol what? Ayo y cant I just think ur gorgeous and want to get to kno u, find out who u r

***

He was very protective of me. Anytime I even looked a tiny bit sad or sounded off, he was ready to beat someone up for me. 

AYINDE: ur awake? 

ME: Yea just woke up on some bs 

AYINDE: u good?

ME: yea im ok lol

AYINDE: u sure? I’ll fuck someone up

ME: lol yea im good now

And as the oldest, always looking out for my little brothers and my friends. It felt good to have someone looking out for me for a change. 

***

ME: I move into college tmw nd I aint pack shit yet

AYINDE: ur bugging

ME: Pack 4 me?

AYINDE: lol ill pass

ME: my back hurts like all hell, some of this shit is heavy

AYINDE: what u carrying…?

ME: 4 one, I hav a lot of clothes, they add up nd I had to take em downstairs

AYINDE: lol whoakay wittle wone

ME: fuck u, this shit weighs more than me! I almost fell down the stairs!

AYINDE: thts cuz ur like 87 lbs

ME: Aye! Give me my props, im like 120

AYINDE: lol i see u killa

I fucking loved when he called me that, made me feel invincible. 

Despite how it seems this isn’t a love story. This isn’t a memoir about me finding my first love. Bleh. That’s so sappy. I want to tell you about the first time I stepped out of my comfort zone. You’ve experienced a snippet of our relationship. Ayinde and I were never together. We were just people who met at the wrong time. Had too much going on in our separate lives to focus on developing a relationship. But it didn’t stop us from pursuing the unique friendship we had. For years we maintained contact, I’d visit him pretty often but we always kept our distance when it came to personal things. We used each other as escapes from our realities. We were each other’s vacation after a long week. 

One night we were hanging out and things got more heated than they usually did. I wasn’t prepared to take the next step with anyone. No worries, I’m not about to make you uncomfortable and talk about how I lost my virginity because that isn’t the point. Before I say anything, I did have a great childhood. But some things did leave me scarred, I struggled with intimacy as a result. To make a long story short, it makes me self conscious, not something I’ll flaunt for the whole world to see. 

I’m the type of girl who will wait until the bathroom is empty to change my pad or start going to the bathroom. If it’s too busy, I’ll wait all day until I go home. In the locker room, I’d find the farthest corner or wait until all the girls leave to change my clothes. I’m not comfortable being alone around men. I used to clench my pocket knife in my hand when I walked home alone at night. The list goes on. 

The point of this memoir is to tell about the first time I felt completely comfortable in my own skin. Let alone, around a guy. 

They were everywhere. Trailing from my neck and back up against mine. His lips were distracting. I could barely focus. Let alone notice that the both of us were wearing less and less clothing by the minute. I stopped. 

I wouldn’t be able to handle him not liking what he saw. What if I did a bad job? What if he stopped talking to me?

“Do you want me to stop?” Ayinde pulled back from me looking concerned. He looks so cute right now. I kind of wanted to pick up where we left off. 

“Ye-No. It’s just, can you turn the lights completely down?” He liked his room dim, not too bright or dark. It was normally perfect but at that moment, they were making this situation turn into a nightmare.

“Um, why? What’s wrong?” He’s still hovering above me. I didn’t really want him to move. I bit my lip, contemplating. 

“Just don’t look at me any differently. Okay?” I pulled him down by the back of his neck and kissed him hard. Hoping that my issues with myself wouldn’t be a big deal, I’ve never gone this far with anyone. 

When the time came. I held my breath. Okay, I see my pants on the floor near the dresser. My shirt is near the door. I was locating my clothing so that I’d be able to leave quicker. I’m not really one to feel embarrassed but this was going to be borderline humiliating if I wasn’t enough for him. This reminded me of how I felt when I failed my driving test, but I wanted to do this with Ayinde. I didn’t want to quit just because I hadn’t grown the balls to show anyone else. I didn’t want to miss out because I was nervous as to what he might think. I had to at least give him a chance. 

What Ayinde did shocked me. Instead of being grossed out or losing his hard on. He didn’t ask any questions, he didn’t say anything. He kissed every part of my body and when he was done he leaned down to kiss my lips. I was worried, about him seeing all of me, for no reason. He wound up giving me the confidence I needed to be comfortable in my own skin. He told me what I needed to hear from a guy that I was into, not my parents: 

“You’re beautiful.”

And just like that... I didn’t have anymore insecurities.