#also he was hard af to draw for some reason don’t judge me. i can’t do realism digitally only on paper

[angryblueoat]

If I were Stephen Douglas I simply would not start beefing with the 19th century equivalent of Andre the giant

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 301: All My Todorokis

Previously on BnHA: We learned that when a bunch of superpowered villains are suddenly set loose with nobody around to stop them, things get fucked pretty quickly. Old Man Samurai and a bunch of other useless people decided to make “I pretend I do not see it” their new mantra, and resigned. Endeavor had a moment of despair on account of being crushed by the guilt of having ruined the lives of himself, his family, and basically everyone else in the entire world. For various reasons the heretical notion of “person who has done bad things feels sorry for doing them” sent fandom spiraling into a meltdown, so that was fun. The chapter ended with the entire Todoroki clan descending upon Enji’s hospital room to have a dramatic chat about Touya and All That General Fuckery.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “here’s the story of how Baby Touya slowly went insane trying to win his father’s love.” It’s a tale full of subverted expectations and heartbreaking inevitability, and also like twenty panels of the cutest fucking kids who ever existed on planet earth, who are so fucking cute that I can’t stop thinking about their cuteness even with all of the horrifying family tragedy unfolding around them. It is absolutely ridiculous how cute they are. Touya is out here pushing his tiny body past its limits because he inherited the same obsession as his dad and neither of them can put it aside even though it’s destroying them, and yet all I can think about is Baby Shouto’s (。･o･｡) face. Anyways what a chapter.

so I have to confess that even though I managed to avoid being caught off-guard by the early leaks, the number of people reblogging my Endeavor posts from earlier this week and using the tag “bnha 301” kind of gave me an inkling that this chapter will include more Tododrama lol. that said, I don’t know anything else about it, so we’re still good spoiler-wise

AHHHHH FLAHSBAKC AHHHH. omg I know I typoed the shit out of that, but I’m just going to leave it lol I think it’s fitting

holy shit holy fuck. so this is Rei and Enji’s first meeting, then??

yepppp, oh shit

so wait, I know this is not even the slightest bit important, but are they meeting at Enji’s home or Rei’s? because I always figured that Enji was the one with the super-Japanese aesthetic, but maybe that was Rei’s side of the family all along

(ETA: from what I found during my very brief google search, omiai meetings are often held at fancy hotels or restaurants, so maybe that’s what this is.)

there’s such a period drama feel to this setting. like it’s so outrageously formal fff how can anyone stand this kind of atmosphere though seriously

OH THANK GOD

I mean they’re still stiff af but at least they’re not rigidly sitting in seiza and staring at each other unblinkingly anymore lol. Enji’s actually got his hands in his pockets now. why is this somehow almost cute

oh damn it’s the flowers

Rei seems so subdued and it’s so hard to get any idea of what she’s actually thinking. I want to see her side of this dammit

but anyway, so at least from Enji’s perspective it seems like even though the marriage was arranged and he picked her because of her quirk, he still loved his wife and wanted to do right by her. the fact that he was watching her and noticed that she liked the flowers, and remembered that detail for all these years -- there’s a reason why Horikoshi’s showing us this. we know what’s going to happen later on; we know how much fear and violence and breaking of trust is coming up ahead, and while it may seem like this scene is serving to soften Enji’s character further -- which to be fair it is -- it also helps drive home the full impact of his abuse. that it’s so terrible not only because of the trauma of the abuse itself, but also because of the way it retroactively destroys all of the good things as well. this could have potentially been such a sweet scene, but it’s inescapably tainted by the knowledge of what’s to come, at least for me. and that’s just brutal

anyways, shit. is the whole chapter going to be like this?? feel free to toss in something I can actually make a joke about sometime, Horikoshi

oop, back to the present

omfg lol

“are you all right” “NO I’M NOT ALL RIGHT WHAT THE FUCK.” “oh, right, because of all the stuff that’s happened with me abusing you and you having a mental breakdown and being hospitalized for ten years and then our son coming back to life and killing thirty people, right, right. I almost forgot.” whoops

omfg you guys I’m loving this new and improved steely-eyed Rei. I’m loving her a lot

and what do you mean “part one” fkjds how long is this going to be. TOO MUCH DRAMA FOR ONE CHAPTER TO HANDLE

oh, hello

yeah I’ll say you did. didn’t seem to bother you much at the time, though

HMMMMMMMMMMMM

Dabi Is A Noumu intensifies even further. anyways though would you fucking look at this boy lounging on this moth-eaten couch doing his best DRAW ME LIKE YOUR FRENCH GIRLS impression wtf

Dabi what if you actually had killed him??? what would you feel?? satisfaction?? regret?? anything at all?? tell me your secrets goddammit

who are you talking to buddy

Fuyumi-chan, Natsu-kun (is it common for brothers to address each other as -kun?? can’t recall seeing that in many other anime, but hey), and “dot dot dot,,,,,, SHOUTO” lol thank you so much for this bountiful heaping of Tododrama Horikoshi we are blessed

AH, WHAT DID I SAY THE OTHER DAY

ULTIMATE MELODRAMATIC THEATER CHILD. “I’M JUST GOING TO LIE ON THIS COUCH SHIRTLESS AND ALONE AND MAKE SPEECHES TO MY FAMILY MEMBERS WHO AREN’T THERE AND SAY THINGS LIKE ‘WATCH ME IN THE PITS OF HELL’ WITH A STRAIGHT FACE BECAUSE NO ONE’S THERE TO JUDGE ME.” WELL JOKE’S ON YOU MISTER CHATTERBOX BECAUSE I AM IN FACT JUDGING THE SHIT OUT OF YOU LOL

(ETA: and on a more serious note, it’s interesting to see that “look at me”/”watch me” theme being used again though, because we see that same sentiment uttered repeatedly by the younger Touya in the flashback. well kid, you definitely got your wish at last. don’t know what else to say.)

OKAY HORIKOSHI HAS DECIDED THAT’S ENOUGH FUN, TIME FOR MORE FLASHBACKS

oh my sweet precious lord

just as cute as we left him. giving us a child this cute when we all know full well what’s going to happen to him is just unspeakably cruel though

HOMG

I’m fucking speechless. you broke me, congratulations. what am I even supposed to do with this

I can’t get over this. moving forward my life will be split into two distinct parts, B.P. (Before the Pout) and A.P. (After the Pout)

and meanwhile there’s ALL THIS BACKGROUND ANGST BUILDING UP, AND I CAN’T EVEN FOCUS ON IT. Touya’s arm and cheek are covered in bandages (I’m guessing this is shortly after that “ouch!” panel we got some chapters back), and Enji is deliberately avoiding training with him because he doesn’t want him to hurt himself further. I can’t fucking get over the irony that all this time everyone thought Touya had died because Enji pushed him too far in his training, and it turns out that it’s the opposite -- the tragedy ultimately happened because he didn’t want to push him. but I’m jumping ahead of myself though I guess

by the way,

remember this?? just wanted to remind you that it exists just in case you forgot

so now someone is talking and basically saying that Touya is the exact opposite of what Enji was hoping for when he decided to start playing with quirk genetics

-- okay hold up

...lol no, never mind. for a second I thought “holy shit he looks kind of familiar WHAT IF IT’S UJIKO OMG” before I remembered that Enji would have recognized him during the hospital capture mission if that was the case. so NEVER MIND, PROCEED

IMAGINE THAT, ENJI DOESN’T QUITE SEEM SATISFIED WITH THIS SUGGESTION OF QUITTING NOW

(ETA: how the fuck did this man go around saving 62 towns in a single day what even is All Might.)

[clicks tongue several times] trouble a’brewin’

MEANWHILE BABY TOUYA HAS UNFORTUNATELY INHERITED HIS DAD’S STUBBORN STREAK

KLDIHWOEIJFL:KSDJ

!!!!!!!!!!!

oh my god. oh my god. what is this chapter. WHAT IS IT

so now Touya is all “YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND MY MANLY DESIRE TO BURN MYSELF ALIVE” well you got her there champ

THEY’RE TOO CUTE. OH MY GOD. HIS FURIOUS LITTLE TEARS. HER CHUBBY LIL FACE. HIS STUBBY LIL FISTS. SOMEONE HELP ME

also are they just home alone lol or what. “hey Touya, you’re what, like six now?? do us a favor and look after your baby sister for a couple hours for us would you? make sure not to set yourself on fire or anything.” WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG!!

now it’s nighttime and Enji and Rei are arguing, presumably about his decision not to train Touya anymore

whew. okay. so, a couple of things here

1. first of all I think this conclusively shows that Enji really was trying to do the best he could for Touya. he stopped training him as soon as he realized it was hurting him, but Touya was still determined so he tried to make it work anyway, and even visited doctors to try and figure out if there was anything they could do. then, once they were absolutely sure that it wasn’t going to work, he tried multiple times to explain to Touya why they had to stop. he didn’t just abandon him out of the blue, which is really important to note. “no matter how much I tried telling him...”

so yeah, that debunks another common fandom accusation. so by the time he finally makes this decision, which we all know is going to turn out horribly, it’s basically because he’s already tried everything else he could think of. which, by the way, still doesn’t mean he handled this right. but at the very least he was taking Touya’s feelings into account and he was trying, and he didn’t just abruptly toss his son aside (at least not yet)

2. buuuut, then there’s this panel right below all that

which is the other side of it. if he’d just quit like the doctor person advised him to, that would have been the end of it. Touya would still have been upset, but he would have eventually gotten over it and the family would have moved on and possibly even been happy. but what happens next happens because Enji can’t let go. he still has this maddening urge to surpass All Might, and so he and Rei keep having more children, and then Shouto is born, and Enji finally has a kid he can start projecting all of his hysterical ambitions onto once again, and everything starts spiraling out of control soon after

though p.s. none of that is Shouto’s fault though!! he’s one of the few good things to come out of this whole mess and I’m very happy that he exists. the tragedy is that his dad fucking lost his mind over his quirk and fucked everything up. but that’s on him, not Touya or Shouto

anyways, SLKFJLSHGLKJL

I CAN’T FUCKING TAKE THIS YOU GUYS??? LOOK AT THAT LIL BUTTON OF A NOSE??? I’M LOSING IT HERE???

AND TOUYA JUST SEEMS DEVASTATED OMG

because children aren’t stupid, after all. he understands that his dad is still looking to surpass All Might. and so he feels like a failure, and feels like his dad is trying to replace him because he wasn’t good enough. and even now, isn’t that what the adult Touya is trying to prove?? that he was good enough after all?? “I’ll show you what happens when you give up on me, dad”?? “I’ll show you what I can do”?? fuck my life fuck everything

AND YOU CAN SEE THE TOLL THAT IT’S ALL TAKING ON REI GETTING WORSE AND WORSE AS WELL OH GOD

really nice touch here with the panel outlines becoming all shimmery from the heat of Endeavor’s flames (and/or becoming more unstable as the family gets closer and closer to their breaking point). but man, Horikoshi I can’t handle this, please show us more cute kids or something I can’t

GKELKWFJLDKSHFLKL

WITTLE BABE. BEEB. BUBS. SMOL. lkj; oh ouch a piece of my heart just detached and latched onto him huh look at that

TODOROKI “I’M SO SMALL AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S GOING ON AND I DIDN’T ASK TO BE HERE” SHOUTO AHHHHH

crazy how they all just seem to know right off the bat lol. kid doesn’t even have object permanence yet, let alone a quirk. but do they care?? IT’S THE HAIR, RIGHT. WE’RE ALL THINKING IT, I’M JUST GONNA COME OUT AND SAY IT. they knew the minute they looked at him lol

AND MEANWHILE TOUYA IS OFF HAVING UNSUPERVISED TRAINING/CRYING SESSIONS IN THE MOUNTAINS OR WHATEVER, AND, UH OH

are those blue flames yet?? they seem pretty close

(ETA: this is one of the few cases where the manga being in black and white is infuriating lol.)

OH MY GOD AND STILL

so it’s not like he was so disinterested that he didn’t notice what was happening, and he was still trying to stop it and get through to him. trying to reassure him that it wasn’t the end of the world and there were other things he could do with his life, but this one particular thing just wasn’t going to happen

fucking hell. it’s agonizing seeing how close they actually were to fixing it. if he’d only said the right words, or if he’d realized at this point how destructive his obsession could be to his kids, and backed off from putting that same pressure on Shouto. we came so close to possibly having a happy ending

AND ALSO THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING BUT PLEASE LOOK AT HOW TOUYA IS LIKE THREE AND A HALF FEET TALL AND HIS DAD IS LIKE NINE AND A HALF FEET. Touya barely comes past his knees flkjlkg. the Todoroki household must have been so filled with like plastic stepstools to reach the bathroom sink and all the little baby toothbrushes, and baby gates to keep the kiddos out of the important grown-up rooms and stuff. and also days-old half-empty cups of water and stale crackers and hot wheels and my little ponies strewn everywhere

“BUT EVERYONE AT SCHOOL SAYS THEY’RE GONNA BE HEROES” a wild Deku parallel appears?? how bout that

I know this is like a pivotal moment in the Todo Tragedy and all, but fucking look at this lil dumpling

“sup bro, it’s me, the manifestation of your fears of inadequacy and lack of fatherly affections. a GAAA. ba-baAA-baa [gurgling baby sounds]”

OHHHHH IT’S THE SOUND OF MY HEART BREAKING OH NO

HE WANTS TO BE LIKE YOU ENJI. good lord somebody please just get this family some therapy

“DAD YOU IGNITED IT IN ME” flkjslkj nope, nope. not ready for this pain here

baby Shouto, would you like to weigh in on this affair? “DA!! ba-ga-daaa, [pacifier chewing noises]” oh my, you don’t say. so insightful for one so young

OH MY GODDDDDD

IT’S SO DRAMATIC BUT ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT ARE THE SHOUNEN WOOSH LINES SURROUNDING FOUR-MONTH-OLD SHOUTO LOL HE WAS LIKE THIS FROM BIRTH OH MY GOD I AM DYING HELP

SHOUTO YOU’RE RUINING THIS ENTIRE CHAPTER!?!?!

“yo, the fuck kind of family was I fucking born into” oh, son. if you only knew. IF YOU ONLY KNEW!!

(ETA: lmao I got so distracted by the ridiculous cuteness that I glossed over the fact that Baby Touya seems to possibly be aiming at him?? it’s hard to tell because he’s also super out of it from heatstroke and may just be losing control in his attempt to show off his upgrade.)

ANYWAY THAT’S THE END EXCEPT WHAT’S THIS LAST LINE OMG

ffffff. and we’re in for ANOTHER chapter of this next week?? MORE drama?? MORE BABIES?? MORE OF EIGHT-YEAR-OLD TOUYA’S SLOW DESCENT INTO MADNESS. MY HEART CAN’T TAKE IT, BUT ALSO YES PLEASE SIGN ME UP

[riverboundao3ff]

Riverbound, Chapter 5

You are THE GUARDIAN, and you are currently munching on the most delicious bowl of grubflakes to have ever existed.

You have seen many things over the course of your travels, met all kinds of people and befriended them, been to places most could never even dream of. Space, time, and an entire universe have surrendered to your whim. The heart of an eldritch sun flowed through your veins not too long ago, and you through it.

And yet, you have still to encounter anything as satisfying as a good breakfast.

Yesterday was mostly spent sleeping, only waking up to eat a couple of times and talk to Daraya and her friends. Bronya had also brought Karako with her when she came to check in on you, which had been the highlight of your night. Like Wanshi, he had noticeably grown, and now had a couple of inches on you. There was a new depth to his gaze that had come with the passage of time. He almost looked like that… entity you and Feferi spoke to at her palace.

It was a little unnerving at first, but it had soon become apparent that this boy was still the same young clown you nearly threw hands with seadwellers for. He was still Karako.

That much was obvious as you watch him and Wanshi plot out the next chapter of her Soldier Purrbeasts fanfiction, with Wanshi arguing that Lionstar of ShadeCaste needs to be killed off and Karako drawing out Lionstar eating a bunch of other purrbeasts. It’s very detailed and anatomically correct. You wonder how Bronya even let those books into the caverns, and then you remember reading Warriors as a kid on Earth. Those cute illustrations of cats running around in the woods on all of the covers did a great job of hiding the gorefest that raged within.

Sitting next to you on the couch is Daraya, typing away furiously on her palmhusk, and Lanque, who is trying to judge how well your ribs are healing by poking your side.

You dodge another perfectly manicured claw in time to see Daraya receive another text from Tyzias, saying that she and the others would be at the bottom of the mountain in an hour or so. “Tell her I said hi!”

“You’ll see her pretty soon,” Daraya says, a little confused.

“Yeah, but I’m excited-ow! Lanque, quit it!”

“I’m feeling for the break.”

“You’re gonna be feeling my fist up your flat ass if you don’t stop.”

“They said a bad word!” Wanshi yells.

You freeze. Your mind races for a solution that doesn’t involve Bronya reaming you out for cussing in front of the kids. “If you don’t tattle on me you can say a bad word too.”

Her big black eyes widen. “Really?”

“Really.”

“‘Cause Lanque taught me a really good one!”

“I taught you nothing of the sort, young lady,” Lanque growls, slapping a hand over your mouth to shut you up. You contemplate licking it just to see how he would react. Better yet, you could throw your empty bowl at his head and see how thick troll skulls really are.

Wanshi takes control of the situation by hopping up to you and leaning into your ear. “Lususfucker.”

You squeal into Lanque’s palm, and Daraya’s jaw drops. Even Karako looks impressed.

“Wanshi Adyata!” Lanque scolds, but the corners of his eyes lift in such a way that tells you he’s not actually angry. You wiggle out of his grasp and stand, taking a couple of slow breaths to test the pain. It’s still sore AF in there, but as long as you take it easy you’ll be fine. You’ve had a lot worse for a lot longer.

Taking your bowl and putting in the sink by the bathroom, you turn to your friends and do your best impression of having your shit together. “Alright, so I know it’s only like a fifteen minute walk down to the bottom of the mountain, but I’m crippled so I say we head out early.”

“Bronya won’t be here to pick up Wanshi and Karako for an hour,” Lanque says, tapping the armrest he’s leaning on.

“They could come with us. Tyzias is bringing Tirona, she’s around their age,” Daraya points out.

“Won’t Bronya be mad?” you ask warily. The last thing you want to do is drag her student and her adopted clown son into a possible Situation™. It’s not like you’re going out tonight looking for trouble, but this is Alternia.

Lanque considers it, and then leaps to his feet with a smirk. “Nah. I’ll be coming with you guys, and I’ve taken the children out plenty of times.”

“Bronya didn’t-” Daraya begins to say, huffing in amusement, but Lanque cuts her off with a dramatic twirl of his suit jacket that slaps her in the face with a perfectly pressed sleeve.

“Daraya, dear, if I don’t get out of these godforsaken caves soon I might actually lose my mind. Wanshi, Karako! Come, we’re going on an adventure.”

You watch with a smile as the kids look up with sparkling eyes and instantly abandon their project to scramble over to Lanque. Daraya glares up at the older jade, nose still scrunched up from being smacked, but finally heaves herself upright to follow. You join her as the five of you head out the door and bump your shoulder against hers. She must have grown a little as well, because the top of your head now barely reaches her jawline.

The stairs are kind of a bitch, but you persevere long enough to get to the main level of the caverns. Your ribs are throwing a Karkat-worthy bitchfit, though, so when Lanque halts the group at the end of the corridor for some reason you don’t complain.

“What?” Daraya mutters, impatient.

“Hush. Just because we can leave the caverns doesn’t mean we’re supposed to, and Bronya is supervising tonight’s shift. Do you want to explain to her who we’re going to meet?” he shoots back.

There’s something in his voice that tells you there’s more to this than either of them are letting on. You want to ask them what’s up, but even Wanshi and Karako are silent, so you keep your mouth shut and trot after Lanque. Teleporting is sounding more and more appealing by the second, but you know you’re still a little high from the painkillers Lynera gave you before she left for work. You learned the hard way that teleporting while drunk/high/otherwise incapacitated is a bad idea, like the time when you and Lanque had to ditch a party because the drones showed up and you, in a panic, zapped the both of you right into a river outside of Thrashthrust. That was the night you also discovered that landdwelling trolls are notoriously poor swimmers.

The next twenty minutes are spent dodging from building to building like you’re a group of spies trying to escape the government. It’s fun at first, but when Daraya has to yank you down behind a garbage bin to avoid being seen by a group of girls on their way to class, you wonder how often these trolls have to resort to sneaking around just for a glimpse of freedom. How many jades had never even had a friend that wasn’t of their own caste? How many haven’t seen the stars in the night sky, felt the wind in their hair, had the opportunity to pursue something they chose for themselves instead of being thrown into a life entirely dedicated to others?

Kids raising kids. That’s what this is.

The world outside of the caverns is cruel, devoid of justice and mercy for even those whose blood ran cold in their veins. But when you look at it, really look, the caverns aren’t much better. It’s a prison with bioluminescent cells.

You focus on keeping up with Daraya so you don’t get even more pissed off than you already are. Being angry would have to wait. Right now, you’re going to meet your friends.

… This isn’t the way to the main entrance, though? Where are you guys going?

Lanque answers your question by leading the way down an offshoot behind what you think is a storage unit. No more fungi grows to light the way, so you simply trust him to know where to go. There aren't many other options. In less than a minute it’s pitch black and strangely damp, and the temperature has dropped far enough to make you wish you’d brought that nice jacket Vriska gave you.

“This is how I get out,” Lanque whispers. You hear his footsteps stop, so you stop as well. “It’s a bit of a climb, but it’s the fastest way to the surface besides the main entrance.”

Your heart sinks at the word climb. Also, you can’t see balls. “I’m assuming there’s another tunnel? I'm as good as blind down here.”

“You seriously can’t see? How is your species still alive?” Lanque chuckles.

“Because we’re diurnal, pretty boy. We do our business with the light of our nice, not-lethal sun shining down on our backs. And just because I can’t see doesn’t mean I can’t do anything.” To prove your point, you take a careful step forward and feel for the walls of the tunnel. It’s narrow, and you can already feel the rock sloping up to the surface.

How the hell does Terezi do this?

You feel the challenging spark of Lanque’s gaze on the back of your neck. Nice Boy hours were over, it seemed. Time to return to the regularly scheduled programming of roasting each other until he let you in behind those meticulously maintained emotional walls for a moment or two, or you doing something especially stupid to spite him.

With one foot in front of the other, you lead the way into the darkness.

Fifty steps in and you can tell that if you hadn’t taken the painkillers earlier you’d be on the ground crying. One hundred steps in you trip and almost eat shit. One-hundred and fifty steps, Lanque is right up in your business, trying to make you go faster.

Keyword being trying. You wait until he’s got one foot up on the rock slab you’re standing on and pretend to trip again. He grunts and grabs the walls for support as you slam back into him, using the weight of your frankly magnificent ass to knock him off balance.

“My bad, sorry,” you tell the blackness.

“Do I need to carry you? Because I will carry you. Like a little wiggler.”

“No, thank you. You can wait for the poor injured alien without self-combusting for a little while longer. Unless… Daraya? Kids? How are you guys holding up?” you call back.

“We’re good! Take all the time you need!” Wanshi announces, giggling.

“Yeah, dude. Don’t push yourself,” Daraya adds.

“Honk!”

Lanque growls, and you grin.

Luckily, he doesn’t have the time to come up with a plan for revenge when Wanshi yells that she can see the end. You can’t see anything for another half-minute or so, but when you do you, moonlight illuminates the bend in the tunnel you’re rounding like a searchlight. The slope flattens out, much to the relief of your aching legs.

The secret exit leads out underneath some huge tree you have no name for, shielded from sight by a thick layer of roots that twist all over the place. You squeeze through an opening in the mess and hop aside to let Wanshi and Karako through. Lanque hauls himself up and over through a bigger hole above you, and Daraya does the same.

You take a moment to suck in fresh air. The trolls come to stand beside you, and together you all look out towards Thrashthrust. Two moons hang low in the sky, lighting up the planet below in shades of pink and green.

It’s beautiful, but you know the kinds of danger that beauty can hide.

Karako is the first one to hop off the ledge, with Wanshi close behind. You opt to carefully shimmy down as far as you can before sliding to the forest floor. You’re left breathless nonetheless as the impact sends stabs of pain through your torso, but you shake it off and follow the kids. Daraya and Lanque come up on either side of you to lend you support.

“I’m fine, guys, really,” you protest.

“I saw that flinch,” Daraya mutters. “Besides, if we show up with you limping all over the place the teals will have my ass.”

“You just want to impress Tyzias,” Lanque snickers.

Daraya hisses like a feral cat, and you turn to her, interest peaked. “Wait. You and Tyzias?”

“No! We’re just friends!” she snarls, swatting at Lanque.

Lanque has a knowing grin on his face, though, and he wraps an arm around your waist to lean down to your level. “They’re so pale it’s disgusting.”

You look back to a green-faced Daraya and wiggle your eyebrows. Daraya gives you and Lanque the finger and stomps ahead to catch up with the kids.

“We gotta set them up,” you tell Lanque. “How far along are they?”

“Oh, you’ll see.”

You want to demand more information than that, but then Wanshi calls out a greeting from ahead. Somebody farther down the path answers.

“What’s with you and good timing?” you ask, your heart rising to your throat. Despite your ribs you quicken the pace, and when you don’t feel like you’re going to pass out you break into a jog.

“Oh, so now you want to hurry it up?” Lanque snarks, but right now you’re more interested in seeing your friends again than coming up with a good comeback.

You follow the path as it turns, and boom, there they are.

Karako, Wanshi, and Tirona are all saying hi and introducing themselves, Daraya and Tyzias are hugging each other (Oh, worm?), and Stelsa and Tagora are standing back like proud parents, even if good old Gor-Gor looks a bit scandalized by all the pale stuff going on.

It’s Stelsa who sees you first. Her hands fly up to cover her mouth and she squeals in delight. Tagora jumps at the noise and turns to see what she’s looking at before breaking out in the biggest smile you’ve ever seen on him, not the customer-service smile that’s all fangs but with his eyes as well.

You manage to haul your crippled ass over to them in time for Tyzias to pull away from Daraya, spot you, and pull you into a desperate but careful embrace. Daraya must have told her about your injuries, which is great because you don’t think you would have survived a whole gang of teals jumping on you all at once.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” she croaks. “Fuck, we searched everywhere for you but you were gone and I thought you died somewhere all alone-”

You squeeze her tighter. “Hey, hey. I’m alive. I’m back.”

She sniffles and pulls back in time for Stelsa to wrap up the two of you in her ridiculously buff arms. Not for the first time, you can’t believe how much your friends missed you. It makes you feel so whole to know that you have so many people who care about you, and at the same time you’re crushed with the guilt of knowing that they all thought you were dead. Damn.

“Please, people, not in front of the children,” you hear Tagora complain, but his voice is a little thicker with emotion than you remember it being. You turn and stick your tongue out at him.

“What about me?” A frantic hand smacks your arm. “Hello? Gimme a hug, alien!”

“Hi, Tirona,” you laugh, reaching out behind you to bring her into the group. She squeaks in protest before letting it happen.

“Better,” she mumbles into your hoodie. You graciously pretend you don’t see her using it to wipe away a stray tear.

“Daraya told us everything and I could hardly believe it, it all sounds so… it sounds too much,” Stelsa says, wrapping her arms around herself. “Before all of this the world was so much smaller, and now you’re back because you escaped from a bunch of gods!”

“That’s the gist of it, yeah,” you agree.

Tagora pats your shoulder, which you know is his version of a hug. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. We’re just glad to have you back in one piece.”

Doc Scratch’s calm voice agrees somewhere in the back of your memories, overlaid by Dirk’s- no, not the goofy, lonely young boy you helped feel cared for, the other one-! “Thanks, Gor-Gor. I’m glad to be back, too.”

“Well, there is one thing I hope you’re willing to share,” Tyzias begins hesitantly. “Daraya said something about you being able to do some… interesting stuff. For… ah, screw it. We all know why we’re here.”

You meet her sharp, tired eyes. “What’s that?”

“We’re rebels.”

All of the trolls turn to glare at Lanque.

The tall jadeblood just shrugs and shoves his hands in his pockets. “What? It needs saying. Words are powerful, you know.”

“Yes they are, Bombyx, which is why you need to be more careful with them,” Tyzias drones.

“I can’t believe you guys are dragging me into this,” Tirona whines.

Tagora gives her a withering look. “Hey, you wanted to come, kid.”

“Yeah, ‘cause I wanted to see my friend-!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” You throw your hands out in a hold up motion. Your mind frantically replays what the fuck just happened. “You guys are saying that all of you are rebels?”

“Don’t say it out loud!” Tirona stage-whispers, ears flattening against her head.

Daraya sighs and comes up to pat your shoulder. “It’s a long story.”

“I’ve got time.”

She and Tyzias look at each other, seemingly come to a silent agreement, and then look back to you.

“You might wanna sit down for this,” says Tyzias.

[alo-piss-trancy]

What would be some Grell omorashi headcanons?

Quick Note: I tend to use she/her for Gr/ell and hc her as a tra/ns wo/man, but I also understand between canon sources, non-canon char interviews, author intentions, dif cultural views, The time period the canon takes place in vs. The year the media was published vs. Our current time now changing views/terms, it's ALL a giant clustertruck question mark blob. So feel free to hc Gre/ll differently, be that a very feminine ga/y man or b/i or nonb/inary or whatever, I genuinely don't mind how anyone hcs characters and fan content does not affect my enjoyment of canon in any way. I'm never gonna pick fights and claim somebody's playing with their imaginary Barbie wrong lmao, kindergarteners know better than that

Now to the actual ask:

ANON I LOVE YOU!!! Gr/ell is one of my fav chars EVER but I never get to talk about her hhhhh ❤❤❤

I've had 8 dang years to think about this so enjoy a varied selection 😼 I'm sorry in advance bc half of these are very lemony oops

General:

* Reapers have stronger bladders than humans (in terms of capacity/general strength), but they're still much weaker than a demon's (goes for all bodily functions tbh. Demons don't really have any, the only reason they would need to go is if they chose to partake in occasional food/drink, and could easily hold it for weeks or even months at a time). A reaper can probably hang in there with a full bladder for a day or two if very determined, less if they've had any strong diuretics/alcohol (I imagine the humans' stuff is p weak tho and barely gets them buzzed).

* Gr/ell's bladder is stronger than a newbie like Ro/nald's, but weaker than someone like W/ill's. Mostly bc she's frequently drinking unhealthy stuff and has no problem up and ditching to pee as soon as she's tired of waiting.

* Not bladdershy in the slightest, and not dysp/horic either. (While she wants a womb/too look more womanly, she also seems fairly content with her body and even takes pride in it in several scenes.) The only time I could see her getting nervous/locking up is if she had a really bad day or felt extra self-conscious, and it wouldn't be a very severe condition.

* She doesn't like going in weird/gross places because she is a Beautiful Lady With Standards, thank you very much. If she has absolutely no choice she'll suck it up and pee in an alley like the commoner humans, but she will complain about it for the next few years at every opportunity.

* That being said she's also a huge hypocrite, and if the situation was reversed would immediately snap at someone like W/ill or Ro/nald to just go in the alley already instead of failing to hide their desperation on the job. You bunch of damn babies, grow a pair.

* If she needs to be serious/doesn't want ppl to know, she can hide desperation fairly well (a little clumsy/flushed and sweaty, but that could be mistaken as her normal goofy behavior), masking how bad it really is until she's a minute from wetting herself.

* If she doesn't care and wants to complain though, she's obvious af. Whines and gripes the whole time, full-blown potty dance to garner sympathy, legs crossed and bouncing, everything. By the time she gets to the suspiciously e/rotic moans ppl usually hurry to find her a bathroom/yell at her to leave lol

* There have definitely been times when Gre/ll used going to the bathroom as an excuse to ditch work for a LONG time or took many frequent smaller breaks to do her nails/read magazines/flirt with Seb, etc. Needless to say, this backfires terribly the one time she actually does have to go because W/illiam definitely isn't putting up with her bs no matter how much she begs or squirms. He's even madder at her when he realizes he'll have to clean the floor. If she wasn't so mad/embarrassed herself, she'd have taken joy in his karma and gladly told him to suck her d/ick.

* That's def not the first time W/ill's seen her desperate or piss herself. As young stud reapers in training I guarantee G/rell got shitfaced at company parties on more than one occasion (or just went out drinking the night before work on a weekday lol). Frequently showed up for field work having to pee every other hour and driving him nuts c':

* She and Ma/dame Red definitely fooled around a couple of times (she's the only woman Gr/ell's ever been attracted to) . Maybe Gr/ell already had the kink and brought it up, or maybe Red saw Gr/ell squirming and asked (insisted) she let her watch until she lost control, but either way things got dirty real quick lmao. Red slapped a demon's ass in the same room as her nephew, she's dom AF (and inappropriate lmao). G/rell's a giant masochist/sadist combo. Do the math 👀👌💯

* I personally love the concept of her ending up desperate after inviting herself along and crashing one of C/iel and Seb/astian's missions and just being miserable the whole time trying to hide it. Because she def can't embarrass herself in front of B/assy, but even worse she will NOT prove she has to take a potty break before some human kid. Naturally, C/iel being the complete brat and posessive bitch he is, immediately picks up on her predicament and torments her the whole time/makes a fool of her without letting Seb know the real issue. She can't lay a finger on him because she'd be Dead and she can't whine for B/assy to get him to stop bc that would mean explaining her problem so it just keeps escalating in comedic fashion. (This isn't even an omo hc really sorry lol, I just love any plot with those two bickering like petty babies as rivals for Seb's attention, even better if Ci/el consistently pulls one over on her and is the more mature one. You killed my aunt and then tried to steal my butler, Get Rekt Bitch )

* In any aus where she isn't hooking up with Red or trying to get Seb, I ship her hard with Un/dertaker (they're my otp actually don't judge me). In those he's actually the one with a massive piss kink and she's weirded tf out at first, but I mean if ur bf already eats dog biscuits and sleeps in a coffin u can probs learn to live with it. She indulges him periodically and he spoils her rotten afterwards. (I actually had several fic ideas for those two back in the day. One day maybe I'll finally get around to it).

* No matter what she draws a hard line at drinking it. No thank you. Golden showers are a maybe but they better have some gr8 shampoo to scrub her luxurious hair with afterwards.

* Wetting herself in that too small choir outfit from s1 that basically made short shorts and a crop top? P l e a s e

Dom G/rell:

* Has totally tried to pin Seb down/trap him somewhere and use his increasing desperation as leverage to get what she wants since he's too proper to wet himself. It probably doesn't work bc he's crafty and also could just throw her across the room, but u know. Points for trying.

* When someone lets her dom them willingly she's an absolutely sadistic fiend. W/ill completely torment them until they're begging and broken, and they have to pleasure her first before she'll show any mercy and allow them to let go. That said, she's got an almost sweet tone to anything she says and is very affectionate the whole time. It's a dichotomy that leaves any subs an absolute wreck. Her absolute fav part is watching ppl squirm and start to leak, it's cute.

* She also likes doing the whole fake sympathy play, where everything nice she says makes it 20x worse for the sub. Poor babies ❤

* Making out so they can't say anything no matter how desperate they are, just writhing underneath her with their whimpers muffled in her mouth? Perfection.

* Slowly pressing her boot into someone's abdomen is her signature move.

Sub Gr/ell:

* Loves the whole humiliation aspect and being all squirmy and nervous in front of (S/EBASTIAN) people, struggling to hide her problems and act casual but knowing her face is flushed red.

* When it gets really bad she gets super whiny and submissive, whimpering and moaning and really playing up the vulnerable aspect. Look how pitiful she is, it would be oh so easy for them to have their way with her~ (and then she bats her eyelashes and they just glare ajdkgk stop fucking around G/rell this is a Serious Scene we talked about this before we started)

* Sometimes she does public holds or gets desperate before a mission/visit just so she can see how long she can get away with it before she has to cave/people get suspicious. It's k/inky, exh/ibitionist, and oh so delicious~

* Lives for (S/EBASTIAN) the dom to get mad and disappointed in her, verbally berating her for not being more composed and embarrassing them in public, manhandling her as she's dragged somewhere more secluded to get ahold of herself, being teased and poked and prodded all while they're sneering in her ear. She wants to feel like the dirtiest, most ashamed and nervous person alive for such a simple need, knowing it's going to come out eventually no matter how hard she tries to be Good, having to beg and plead with teary eyes only to be denied access to the bathroom and told to suck it up and hold it.

* She really liked her original disguise/persona from the Ma/dame Red Days for this exact reason. Could be as shy and stuttery as possible and really play it up, got bossed around/teased by everyone, it was great. Totally got desperate once or twice so 'he' could beg Seb/astian to use the manor bathroom and get pitied. If he 'tripped' and just so happened to lose control and start crying, well, that couldn't be helped...

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 411

This week, on Outlander: Claire carries all of the water for Jamie! Lord John can’t decide if he’s dumb and creepy or a cool dude! Roger is still my designated tea refill break! Bree is back to being the worst! Murgsali remains the best!

It’s week two of my drunk recaps being done while not drunk *shakes fist at the concept of Dry January* and my willpower is being aggressively tested.

I hate this fake-out with Roger as much as I hate the fake-out in ep. 1x03 with Claire and Mrs. Fitz.

Are we going to get Roger back at the stones and his decision to stay and him being recaptured and stuff next week? Or are we just going to pick back up at the village and we just need to fill all that in ourselves? Tbh, I almost would have preferred Roger just not being in this episode...

Oh the title card... Bree is suddenly now a great artist! (Seriously, how the fuck did she never draw Roger at any point before Rogergate happened?! Like, cool if you don’t want to share who raped you, literally this whole thing could have been avoided without sharing that tidbit if Jamie KNEW WHAT ROGER LOOKED LIKE. Oh, thanks for the heads up, Lizzie, but it turns out that the guy you saw is Bree’s boyfiend. I punched him for leaving her, but it turns out he’s just a dick, not a rapist.) (Second week in a row that I’ve made that typo. It’s like even my subconscious doesn’t like Roger.)

And Bree loves drawing the enslaved people on her great-aunt’s plantation! Which she apparently is totally cool with!

Also, Bree says Aunt wrong. It’s a minor thing but one that is driving me up a fucking wall every time she says it. (People in Massachusetts say it like Ahnt, not Ant.)

Geez, Lizzie, Bree doesn’t need to easily forgive Jamie. Jamie doesn’t deserve to be easily forgiven. Honestly, Lizzie is the least to blame for this whole fiasco. She saw a dude being rough with Bree and then the next time she saw Bree was post-rape. Jamie was a complete prick to Bree, beat the shit out of a random guy without letting him get a word in edgewise and had his nephew get rid of him. And then didn’t fucking tell Claire, who probably would have put two and two together, about it. Fuck that guy.

I simultaneously can’t believe and 1000% can believe they read this shit heap of a story line and were like “Yep, this is great stuff! Let’s definitely spend half a season on it!”

ROLLO! THE GOODEST BOY!

Ugh. Young Ian being like “Oh hey, Auntie Claire, how about you go do the emotional labor of making Jamie feel better about being a fucking dumbass!” Hard pass, Ian. Hard fucking pass.

So here for Claire’s “what you *both* thought.” Like yep, Ian, you’re at fault too. I know you love your uncle, but you gave that whole big speech at River Run about being your own man and yada yada, so maybe fucking own your part in this. You didn’t fucking have to sell a guy into fucking slavery. BUT YOU’RE STILL NOT AS MUCH TO BLAME AS JAMIE. FUUUUCK THAT GUY.

Also, Jamie, you dumb fuck. You should have been fucking groveling by now. You get no points for keeping your distance. Nut up and mea culpa the shit out of this situation.

Honestly, if they wanted to make the show just about Fersali and Murtz, at this point I’d be totally on board.

Wait, so Fergus has been unemployed this whole time? How the fuck have they been living for the past year then? What happened to his job at the printer? I have so many questions...

So Bree, who grew up in civil rights era Boston and had a Black roommate, is totally just chill about living on a plantation and being waited on by enslaved people? Like, we’re not going to mention this at all? Cool. Cool cool cool.

Also like fucking mother like daughter. She’s like “Oh hey, Phaedre, I’m going to draw you. Sit there. No, I’m not going to ask if you want to be drawn. Or take into account what Jocasta might do to you because of my decision to make you not be doing what you’re expected to be doing. Like my Mom did with asking you to call her by her first name, I’m just gonna disregard what the consequences might be for you because treating you like this will make me feel better about myself.”

Maria Doyle Kennedy continues to be awesome.

"Sorry! Did I wake ye?” I love Marsali so fucking much.

I really like them giving what was a convo with Jenny and Jamie about Ian in the books to Marsali and Murtagh about Fergus. But man, women do so much of the emotional labor in this fucking episode. Marsali is running a house, caring for a baby and risking having a wanted man sleeping in her kitchen but she also has to like fluff the pillows for Fergus’ feelings.

Yes, I know that spouses should support each other and be there when the other one needs something. But since we see so little of Fersali now, we’re not seeing this as a two way relationship. Just Marsali doing it for Fergus.

That being said, I do think it’s very sweet of Marsali.

“If I wanted him shot, I’d do it myself. And it wouldna be Fergus I’d take aim at first. He doesna put his boots on my blankets.” I just fucking love her so much, y’all.

Does Murtagh know who Marsali is yet though? Does he know about Jamie marrying Laoghaire? Were we robbed of the glorious Murtz reaction we could have had? Le sigh. If I had a drink, I’d pour one out...

Oh hey, Gerald. Is your name going to stay Gerald? Or are you randomly going to start being Neil in a couple seasons?

“Have you been enjoying your time at River Run?” “Yes, I love River Run. I love living with a bunch of racists, benefiting from the enslavement of Black people. I never once bring up how uncomfortable I am, or even look like I’m uncomfortable about the situation. I am not at all morally conflicted about my current situation. Everything is totally cool.”

I raged a lot during ep. 4x02, and honestly that rage all still stands.

Oh hey! John Grey, Lord of Convenient Appearances is back!

Fergus talking to Germain is my everything. “It seems there are some here who do not appreciate your contribution to the cause.” *swoon* I can’t wait for him to teach his lil dude the fine art of pickpocketing...

I LOVE THE FERGUS AND MURTAGH RELATIONSHIP A LOT AND I’M VERY GLAD THEY’RE GETTING SCREEN TIME TOGETHER.

BASICALLY I LOVE MURTAGH’S RELATIONSHIP WITH EVERYONE.

I JUST LOVE MURGSALI OK.

Bree’s like that obnoxious college freshman who comes home on break and is like all insufferable because they took like one intro to psych class and now want to like diagnose everyone they know with random shit.

“Must I close my eyes when you are before me?” “Yes.” Well played, Bree, but I still do not like you at all in this episode.

Man, 18th century tinder fucking sucks.

I know this show isn’t subtle at all, but jfc, they’re like punching us in the face with the judge being gay. 

Bree, Claire and Betty fucking Draper should start a club for women who drink like fish while preggo.

Ok so I’m on board with the convo with LJG and Bree about his vision or whatever, but then it crosses over into creepy later on in the episode.

Can Lizzie please fuck off already? She’s annoying af.

Also, she blurts out that Bree’s pregnant but managed to keep it a secret that Jamie kicked the shit out of a guy for weeks? I’m calling shenanigans on that.

I get that the convo with John and Bree about Jocasta trying to marry off Bree to some rando is supposed to like be clearing up the handfasting is marriage vs. not marriage thing that the show can’t make up its mind about, but it still bugs me, tbh. A lot.

I still am lowkey annoyed that they expect us to be so invested in Roger and Bree when they did like nothing to build up their relationship before it went to shit (both times). Like, you’re lazy when it comes to your characters, show. You’re doing a bad job. If no one is invested in the characters then all the plot in the world won’t make the show good.

The amount this show relies on book readers backfilling shit is absurd.

Jocasta, as a woman and figure in society, is a far more understandable giver of this speech about Bree needing to be married than Jamie, a dude who can have her live with him in his and Claire’s house in fucking bumblenowhere backwoods. But still, WHY DON’T THESE FUCKERS JUST TREAT HER LIKE SHE’S MARRIED. SHE TECHNICALLY IS. SHE’S HANDFAST. WHO GIVES A FUCK IF THERE WEREN’T WITNESSES. NO ONE IN CROSS CREEK KNOWS THAT. PEOPLE WILL JUST ACCEPT WHAT YOU TELL THEM. I HATE THAT ALL THESE FUCKERS WON’T PUT THAT TOGETHER.

Ok, cool that Lord John is getting some action, I’m am 10000% here for him to be happy with a man who actually wants him back instead of creepily pining over Jamie forever. But FFS YOU ARE NOT STUPID. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU BANGING THIS DUDE IN THE GODDAMN HALLWAY?! YOU ARE A VERY CAREFUL PERSON. YOU KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF PEOPLE KNOW YOU’RE GAY. YOU FUCKING GOT SHIPPED OFF TO ARDSMUIR BECAUSE OF RUMORS ABOUT YOU AND HECTOR. YOU ARE SMARTER THAN THIS YOU STUPID FUCKING FUCK.

All that aside, I totally ship John and the judge and they should totally be boyfriends and bang a lot, but FUCKING NOT IN THE GODDAMN HALLWAY OF SOMEONE ELSE’S HOUSE WHEN THEY KNOW THEY LIVE IN A HOMOPHOBIC AF SOCIETY.

Ok, fuck Brianna for this blackmail bullshit. Fuck her so fucking much. She is the literal worst right now. Like are you fucking kidding me, Bree?! You’re garbage. I know this shit is in the book, but fucking christ. It’s bad. Fucking have Bree talk to John like “Look, my aunt is trying to marry me off. That fucking hobbit is going to propose as soon as I go back inside. I don’t want to marry him, you know I’m waiting to see if my parents can find my quasi-husband. Can you please do me a solid and say we’re engaged so people leave me the fuck alone until my parents get back?” We *know* John would say yes to that, because he eventually fucking goes along with it for THAT EXACT FUCKING REASON. SO WHY ARE THEY HAVING FROM-THE-POST-STONEWALL-FUTURE BREE THREATEN A GUY WITH THIS SHIT. SHE KNOWS HOW QUEER FOLKS ARE TREATED IN HER OWN FUCKING TIME, AND THIS IS THE PAST AND THE PAST IS THE FUCKING WORST. FUUUUUUCK HER.

“That sounds like a threat.” BREE, YOU DON’T GET TO BE BUTTHURT ABOUT BEING THREATENED WHEN YOU LITERALLY JUST TOLD A GUY YOU WERE GOING TO RUIN HIS LIFE, YOU ABSOLUTE ASSHOLE.

“I wouldn’t have said a word to anyone. I’d just threaten you with your worst fear. Because I’m a raging asshat.”

It’s creepy af that they’re like talking around John being in love with Jamie. I honestly hate that part of John so fucking much. Like he could be such a great character if they could fucking lay off the him pining over and being weirdly possessive of Jamie shit.

Ok, so with Bree now just telling everyone that it was Bonnet who raped her it’s really coming off that Jamie’s manpain was the *only* reason she didn’t tell anyone but Claire before. Which is so fucked up! She was raped! Fuck Jamie’s manpain! If she wants to tell people, she should fucking tell people! Sorry not sorry, but if you were brutally raped and possibly impregnated by some fucker and you want to let people know who it was because it turns out he’s a fucking sociopath, that fucking trumps “oh, my bio dad might feel icky about it.”

“The union of our families is a blessing to us all. Except for the second someone better comes along. Because omg he’s a *lord*! Bye, Neil. Go have yourself some second breakfast.”

Oh fuck you, Jamie. You don’t get to be butthurt at Claire. Claire didn’t beat the everloving fuck out of some rando at the word of a maid, send him into slavery and then keep it a fucking secret. Also like, why the fuck did he even keep it a secret from Claire?! Why not do what Bree did and tell Claire but have her not tell Bree? And he’s still keeping him asking Murtagh to track Bonnet down from Claire. Seriously, fuck Jamie.

Oh Rollo, this isn’t Terminus. We don’t eat people in this show.

I literalol’ed at them pulling an Everest and using a dead body as a wayfinding tool. Probs not the reaction they were going for.

“He is... very much like his father.” DON’T MAKE IT WEIRD, JOHN.

"Good doesn’t come into it. I love him more than life itself.” I love the convo about loving a kid even if you’re not the bio dad, but this “It’s only new because there is hope.” bullshit while they’re sitting on the FUCKING PORCH OF A PLANTATION, LOOKING OUT AT ENSLAVED PEOPLE WHILE THE REST OF THE FAM IS OFF LOOKING FOR THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE LIVED ON THE LAND FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS, IS SO FUCKING TONE DEAF IT HURTS.

“I was upset, but not with you.” Uh, Claire? YOU SHOULD BE UPSET WITH JAMIE. WHAT THE FUCK. YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY BE UPSET WITH JAMIE.

I get Claire’s reasons for not telling Jamie. I think Bree should have told Claire to tell Jamie since it seems like her only hesitation for doing so was Jamie’s #feelings. And I 100000000% think that it makes *zero* sense that she never told Jamie what Roger looks like. But Claire is doing way fucking more than her share of apologizing here. JAMIE IS THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE DOING THE BIG DRAMATIC APOLOGY. THIS IS LIKE 99.7% HIS FUCKING FAULT.

I HATE ROGERGATE SO FUCKING MUCH.

“Frank made plenty of mistakes.” UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE FUCKING CENTURIES, BEAUCHAMP.

Aaaand then they couch it as an “all parents do” thing. BECAUSE OH NO, CAN’T ACKNOWLEDGE THAT HE WAS AN ABUSIVE JACKASS. NOPE. CAN’T DO THAT.

This show is fucking *killing* me with its refusal to make the male characters accountable for their actions. 

And then we get the same sex scene we got in the premiere. Because even though Jamie and Claire get freaky in oh-so-many different ways in the later books, the show has decided that from now on they need to be vanilla and boring. I mean, in the book this bit is described as fierce with blind desperation. I know I always say I want them to deviate from the book, but ffs, I didn’t mean make all the sex the same when the situations and emotional states of the characters when they’re together are very different...

And no, Balfe, I’m not a “horny granny.” (Seriously, fuck her for that comment, tbh. I know what she was probably trying to say, but word choice, Caitriona. It’s fucking important.) I’m not watching this show for the smut. But the core relationship, what’s supposed to be the heart of the show, is now monotonous af. 

Jamie and Claire as characters have always been a couple who express themselves passionately and physically. But now suddenly they’re just like soft af all the time? Where’s the fire? Where’s the spark? You don’t need to have nudity to show passion, show. I’m not asking for a parade of boobs and butts. (If there was contractual stuff involved with that for actors or whatever, more power to them.) But ffs, the show is managing to make me bored with the main fucking ship.

And then Roger gets the shit kicked out of him again and I’m here for it.

Because I still don’t like that guy.

(But seriously, framing the various Native American tribes as the “bad guys” is getting old af.)

[silverineontherun]

Top Ten VLD Ships Game

Oh god, I was tagged by @paternaltendencies and I also saw my good friend @kunfetti do this list and I’m not gonna lie, I’m afraid my list is so painfully childish that you could barely guess we are all the same age... thank you for putting up with my fangirl ass and constant shitposting! You guys are the best! Haha. Anyways, here we go! (Only the top 3 get a gif)

1. KLANCE

*Insert oprah gif here*. I mean, does anyone who knows me even doubt it? Lol. We’ve had our ups and downs with this ship, but still they are my favs. It’s because of them I even started writing and honestly? It kinda changed my life? So they are the eternal champions of my heart <3 (also KICK ‘cause I don’t know when to give up). I don’t even have to add this, but the content is neverending and tbh, this ship is so full of talented people it’s INSANE. The impact still shocks me. And since I don’t interact with the core fandom, for me it’s always been like taking a stroll lol.

2. SHATT

This is easily a tie in the first place, after all they are my preferred combo. Listen to me, kiddos. This ship? Is precious. Y’all sleeping on it. I’m glad Matt has had 2 glow ups ‘cause every time, we’ve seen new people join and that’s GOOD. The content is precious. All my mutuals came exclusively from THIS ship, they are the chillest group of people I’ve ever seen and the quality of the fics is INSANE. Give it a try, and since I’m trying to convert you check these authors: Kunfetti, paternaltendencies, Eilera, luddleston, Martieek and some works from BossToaster. Also shatt sunday? A reason to live through the week. This is a pairing with history, cute af, infinite potential (and the last 5 minutes of s7 can suck it lol).

3. LOTURA

Have you ever shipped something that comes true and then is shattered to pieces the very same episode? No? Well we lotura stans have, and we deserve some respect! I knew 2 things from the very moment this purple goblin appeared: 1. I was adopting him, 2. He would sweet talk my Allura sooner or later, because they are in the same level and totally can balance each other. Together? We all owe them money. Also, lost heirs with gorgeous hair finding their place in this universe? Guess it was too good to be true. I had hope for a better outcome tho. One that didn't include genocide, for example. Still, I have faith in s8 👀 (again, I'm don't know when to give up). All I ask is... no more awkward close ups on kisses, please vld crew. That shit scarred me, and I’m a stan.

4. KEITOR

“Tf you on, woman?” you ask in a terrified voice, pointing at me with your finger. I bring my pan and pot and smash them together to scream: THEY HAD A LOT IN COMMON. THEY DESERVED A MOMENT OR TWO. THEY ARE A TOTAL POWER COUPLE. But!!! Then they didn't cross a word and we had to retort to fics. Ty, vld. Still, good art and good fics and the fandom is quiet and the right amount of fucked up. Love them. Also a good part of my love for this ship I owe it to my good friend @conisaura who is an AU genius. Tenía que decirlo, bai.

5. ADASHI

I truly wish this one didn’t grow up so much on me, but hey! It could be worse!... wait, no, it couldn’t. It’s a great ship, I’m just weak to happy Shiro? Too bad the vld crew ain’t on that lol. Well, let’s be real, we know their relationship was hard and had already hit the bottom, but even if they weren’t meant to be a couple again, Adam’s treatment was awful. In the end, this ship stays in this place out of pure spite, ‘cause I’m THAT petty. And the art is truly gorgeous. You guys are gods, creating paradise out of nothing.

6. SHANCE

Tbh, this is the only sha**din pairing I can dig. And I dig it. Shiro deserves love, that's out of question. Lance does too. And I'm weak to pretty dorks, which... both of them are. I think it's a gorgeous pair, full of chemistry and badass, they totally would complement each other and I'm sure Shiro would let go of a lot of his issues with someone like Lance. Now that the paladins are older in canon, honestly my irks regardins this ship are all gone. Go for it guys!

7. CORALFOR/ALFORAN

Listen, old Coran loved that dork king and I totally ship them. Even he ships themselves (?).  And I love Coran a lot, so in the pathetic distribution of unnecessary couples last season, I wish they had the delicacy of giving some love to our fav Altean pan, at least. But nope. SO... COME TO ME, GORGEOUS MAN <3. (You wish I was kidding, right? I am not).

8. HEITH

I could probably fill this list with only all Hunky ships, he is just... Perfect. The perfect bf to anyone (where do I find a Hunk for me?). But to Keith? A match made on heaven, I mean, they are literally all the other needs in this life. After s7? Suspicions totally confirmed. I just... Love Hunk. And Keef. This is a good ship. Wish there was more content tho, especially sfw (the Hunk thirst is real here in tambler).

9. ALLURANCE

So low? You salty? Nope, I ain't. Not at this ship, at least. I love Allura dearly and I've always acknowledged Lance's crush on her (please, who wouldn't have a crush on her?). If I did this before last season tho, it would probably have been in adashi’s place, but right now I'm kinda... Eh. Unfair to judge based on canon, but I can't help it... Still, it stays in my list! If they give us good, wholesome allurance next season, I'm gonna be fine. That drawing bit at the end of s7, for example? That’s good. That’s what I want to see.

10. HUNELLE

Sorry Shay, honey, but you weren't there for too many seasons and s7 gave me sassy, tired power couple which is far more attractive to me than cinnamon roll couple :(. Still... I don't trust this Romelle lady, so I'm glad Hunky is smarter than me to choose partners lolol.

BONUS: KINCLAIN

This one is my newest ship and is pure crack, but I just know it’s gonna climb like a friggin spider on this list, I can see it!!! Ryan Kinkade, the tough, silent mfe pilot, smiling because he can't resist Lance's charm?? Hello guys??? Pure af. I may or may not be writing something right now...

PS: I’m just aware of the lack of wlw in this list. I’m kinda baffled? But I’m pretty sure this is due to the fact I don’t ship Pidge with anyone AND the general lack of good interactions between the ladies in this show. I can’t even ship ezor and zethrid without remembering they KILLED THEM. TY VLD CREW??????

So I’m gonna just tag a fellow voltron stan who I guess I always scare with my random interactions (sorry honey I’m awkward af, no pressure to do this), @gayromanticsubplots and anyone who wants to do this, feel free to tag me so I can see! <3

[valkerymillenia]

I ask all 50!!! Fill us with fun facts about you!

Holy shit, again?! I’m not that interesting, you know?But ok, I’ll try, I’ve already answered some though.

1: What color are your socks?

Answered.

2: Have you ever lied about your age? Why?

Answered already!

3: What is something you regret in the past month?

So much wasted time…

4: Do you believe in love at first sight?

I’ve answered this before- no, I believe in attraction at first sight; love, however, needs to be earned, grown and nourished.

5: When was the last time you wrote someone a letter on paper?

Do notes to translate conversations into paper for my deaf dad count? If so, then today.If you mean real letters… I honestly don’t remember.

6: How old were you when you first learned how to ride a bike? Who taught you?

Answered!

7: Do you get along with your parents? Why or why not?

Oh my gods, this is such a loaded question…Ok, I’ll try to keep it simple. Who am I kidding? That’s not possible.

Mom- ok so my mom is denial of any form of mental illness but she clearly has manic depression and war PTSD since forever. So as a result my mom has always been a bit aloof, irresponsible, neglectful, super permissive, a sneaky opportunist and a slightly childish and impulsive. Never thinks ahead, just goes nuts on the moment or spends too much time asleep (no in between).So my mom wasn’t the best mother in the world, she was a great caregiving and spoiling mother when we were babies but as soon as we gained minimal independence (aka around 5 years old) she just slacked off on the motherhood department. She’s not very bad, she’s just irresponsible and opportunistic and won’t interfere if we need help which doesn’t suit a mother but she’s a great person so she makes a very good friend (as long as you set boundaries and basic duties), she’s funny and sweet and a bit geeky, she’s also beautiful and used to be a model before I was born so she’s that fashion and beauty oriented friend (if fact she’s a certified beautician and taught me all she knows).So… Complicated relationship, lots of love but not the best mom (can’t blame her, grandma was a bitch).

Dad- I love him, he raised me, but I was also his main caregiver since I was 10 since he’s deaf and crippled. He’s a funny and permissive dad (except when he had explosive bouts of rage but that was a phase…a traumatic and slightly violent phase around the divorce time but short), he tried to be a provider and friend with shared interests with me. BUT he was also quite neglectful, being deaf made him very introverted, paranoid and isolated so he just let me run wild (I didn’t, I was taking care of the house and school instead) while he was cooped up playing pc games. We have that friendly daddy’s girl relationship but we both lack trust, we keep our more important thoughts to ourselves and I’m always afraid that as a deaf person he’ll misunderstand important things or judge me for whatever (and he’s always also feeling judged) so our relationship often feels shallow, he’s also the type in denial about people’s mental illness.

Biological father- Fucking complicated. As a little child he babysat me and was our neighbor so I was always hanging out and getting candy, he was also the person that cherished me the most to take hundreds of photos of me. I moved at age 5 so after that we only communicated through my grandma when she traveled between countries, he’d send me presents and worry about me. I only found out he was my progenitor when I was 10 and it took me years to accept it. Saw him again when I was 18, in fact it was like shock therapy- I spent a whole month living with him as I visited my hometown again. He likes to spoil me as much as he can and he’s very kind but also naive and stubborn and not the type that likes to talk about feelings or important things so talks between us are extremely awkward chitchat.

Stepdad- Terrible relationship. He’s the kind of person that is a caregiver for us all out of duty but then uses that to emotionally manipulate everyone. He’s small minded, old fashioned and selfish and blames everyone for his problems, he also seems to have a personal thing against me- pretty sure he doesn’t hate me but I’m his natural verbal punching bag, anything I say or do in front of him, no matter how innocent, even standing still for a moment or asking to pass the juice at dinner, he twists everything into insults and psychological abuse. Luckily my sister is his baby so she escapes his judgement but he wasn’t that much of a present parent to her either and let her run wild a lot (I’m so glad I could turn that around and teach her to be way more responsible than her parents). The only reason I don’t totally hate him is because he gave me sister, who I love most in the world.

8: What’s your favorite season?

Answered!

9: Do you currently like someone?

Yup, also answered before.

10: Have you ever used an Ouija board?

I know how but I never used it, as a Wiccan my preferred specialty for spiritual communing was pendulum scrying.

11: What’s the last song you sang?

“Havanna” by Camilla Cabello has been stuck in my head for weeks.

12: What’s your favorite scent?

Telling me to choose just one fav of anything is hard af… But here are some favs.

Fresh peppermint, lavender, petrichor, burnt eucalyptus, baby powder, sea water, freshly baked bread, and oddly enough- gasoline.

13: What’s your favorite urban legend?

Can’t choose favs but off the top of my head… La Llorona.

14: What’s a bad habit that you have?

Procrastinating.

15: What’s a strange habit that you have?

All my odd stims and ocd rituals.

16: What’s the first instrument that you learned to play?

Answered.

17: How would you describe your ‘type?’

Already answered in the previous ask meme.

18: Would you rather stay in or go out?

Both, when I go out I make it special and try to make the most of it because it’s rare… But I guess I do prefer the safety and routine of staying home.

19: What was the last thing you said to your mom?

“Never going to see what you borrowed from dad again, am I? This is why people don’t trust you, you never keep your promises…

Well, whatever! How are the stitches? You’re better, right?

Ok, put my sister on. Kisses, bye.”

20: Do you want to get married someday?

Already answered in the previous asked meme.

21: Have you ever snuck out?

Not that I needed to with my kind of parents but yeah, a couple of times.

22: Can you sing well?

I love to sing but whether I’m good or not is up to the listener, I can post a song sample if anyone wants.

23: What’s an embarrassing thing that happened this week?

Other than grovelling desperatly for help?

24: When was the last time you went sledding?

Never?

25: Have you ever/do you liked someone you know you can never be with?

Yeah.

26: Do people often mispronounce your name?

Yes! If you’re not a Portuguese speaker, I DARE you to pronounce my surname. Go ahead- Coelho.

27: Would you like to live in another country?

I do miss my home country, South Africa holds my heart… and I’ve dreamed of a stint in Japan. But all in all, I like this country, it’s…interesting, safe.

28: Do you like to watch ghost-hunting shows?

Not really, they tend to be too over the top and stereotypical. 

29: Who was the last person you said you loved to?

Boyfriend.

30: What’s something you’d like to be better at?

Follow through.

31: Have you ever stayed up to talk to someone who was sad?

Very often, Some right here on tumblr.

32: What was the last thing you cooked?

Chili con carne. Been eating leftovers of it for a whole week now.

33: Do you think you would make a good parent?

Answered already.

34: Do you have trouble sleeping at night?

Answered!

35: Where is your best friend right now?

Given the day and time, my sister is probably at dance practice now.

36: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

Depends if I’m making an effort (an hour) or if I’m just being casual (20min).

37: How late do you usually stay up at night?

Answered.

38: When was the last time you cried and why?

I don’t know… 

39: Have you ever won a contest?

Yes, started this year by winning a Justice League pop contest. But that was more of a giveaway... Actual contest? I won a couple b of art contests before but nothing big.

40: Can you draw well?

I have art posted here so you tell me.

41: Would you ever date someone you met on Tumblr/the internet?

Sure. I already do.

42: What was the last thing you ate?

….Bread.

43: Do you think you’re/you’d make a good boyfriend/girlfriend?

I sure hope so, I try my best… But to be honest I don’t think I’m a very good partner.

44: Have you ever had a near-death experience?

About 6 actually.

45: What do you think people think of you?

I don’t know… I’ve been told I make people feel comfortable and I’m easy to open up to? But to be honest I don’t really know.

46: What is your middle name and do you like it?

Augusto. My mom’s maiden name, because that’s how it works here (Name+ maybe 2nd name + mom’s surname + dad’s surname). 

Yes, I like it, it’s latin. But people sometimes mix it up with my paternal grandma’s first name.

47: Are you close with either of your parents?

In my own way, yes. Both mom and dad.

48: Do you like yourself?

Some days…

49: State five facts about your appearance –

-I get a lot of comments on my boobs and I really don’t mind

-I look pale because I stay inside a lot but I tan very easily, probably because my mom is dark

-I love my tattoos, I’m proud of them

-I wear glasses or contacts in important occasions 

-I have the worst time looking people in the eye

50: State five facts about your personality –

-I’m patient but full of anxiety

-I don’t have just one personality

-I try to be as unbiased and non-judgmental as possible

-I’m obsessive about random things

-I like solitude but I also like interacting (though the more non-physical the better)

[nilesarchives]

Awkward AF ― NOT CANON. (second verse: niles lite)

In which Nick and Miles made out while watching Titanic. Scout barked and scared Miles enough that he bit him. Gay panic ensued and they didn’t speak for an entire month, until Miles went back to retrieve Mario Kart.

An entire month had passed before Miles realized the terrible truth: he’d left Mario Kart at the Vaughns’ apartment when he spent the night with Murphy. He only came to the realization when he was ready to sit down and kick some ass by beating his own record times. He let out a groan and immediately texted Murphy that he was going to stop by and get it. On the way there, Miles prayed to God that Nick wasn’t home, and he knew there was a good chance of that. He was usually pretty good about knowing Nick’s schedule, since there were always specific times that he came back from work to thirty hilarious texts from Miles, which he never fully appreciated. Miles’s plan was simply to come in, grab his game, and leave to avoid an awkward situation. The door was unlocked, thankfully. He went straight toward the TV, crouching down and searching for the Mario Kart case. He swore it couldn’t have been more well-hidden; he couldn’t wait to get the hell out of there. Sure, he missed Murphy, and admittedly Nick, but tonight was not the night that he was ready to see him.

Although he could tell by the way some of the students stood around huffing angrily with each other that class being cancelled was probably not a good thing, Nick couldn’t help but silently be, to put it simply, relieved as fuck. Because sure, he loved his classes and it sucked to pay for something you’re not getting, but he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t nice to get a day off every now and again. Fully intending to pass out for a little while before he actually had to do things, Nick walked through the door that always seemed to be unlocked and began to kick off his shoes, only looking up once he was done. And then he immediately froze. He only saw his back at first, and he almost thought it was Murphy, but that was just wishful thinking on his part. For a moment, he paused, the silence way more awkward than it needed to be. “Heeey.” He let it draw out as he shook himself out of his momentary paralyzation and began to walk a few feet forward and into the room so he wasn’t just standing like an idiot for no reason in the middle of his apartment. “Murphy here?” He wasn’t sure why else he’d be here, since he knew he sure as hell wasn’t there to see him. And that was a nice way of asking something without sounding rude.

Miles didn’t think twice about the door opening. He assumed it was Murphy. “Dude, you didn’t have to freaking hide the game if you wanted it. Why the hell can’t I find it?” But when he didn’t immediately hear Murphy respond with a smartass comment or start cracking jokes, Miles realized he just really wanted it to be Murphy. There was silence behind him, and then Nick’s voice cut through it, making Miles’s heart stop for a second. Well, fuck. This was happening now. He slowly stood up, turning to face him. “Hey,” he replied, giving him a friendly nod. They hadn’t talked in weeks, and Miles didn’t know where to begin. “Uh, I don’t know, actually. I left something here a while ago so I–I asked him to leave the door open for me so I could come get it.” He bit down on the inside of his cheek. It had never been this hard to make conversation with Nick. “Why are you here?” he blurted without really thinking about how that sounded. He shook his head. “I mean—you’re usually not home around this time.”

It was weirder than he thought it would be to see him again. Not that it was something he really dwelled on, since he tried to put the whole thing out of his mind since he left Miles’s apartment the last time. Still, though, it didn’t take a genius to piece together that they’d both been avoiding each other since. And sure, they had to run into each other again sometime, but Nick hadn’t expected for that to be today. He should have stayed and pretended to care that class was canceled so he could have talked shit with the other students. But it was too late for that now. “Oh — yeah. Right.” He nodded; made sense.  “Did you find it? The thing you’re looking for.” He questioned as casually as he could muster. He was far from a stranger to awkward conversation. But having one with Miles wasn’t really something he was used to or prepared for. As he blurted out his question, Nick drew a blank, taken off guard by it for a moment before he gathered the words to answer. “I didn’t sleep much last night and thought I’d try to before work.” He tried to summon a friendly enough smile. “But class was canceled, if that’s what you meant.” He shrugged lightly from where he stood. “I think my teacher is hungover.“ Judging from the pictures she posted from her partying the night prior. Shoving his hands in his jacket pockets in order to toy with his keys in order to have something to do, he couldn’t help but ask the dreaded question, albeit hesitantly. “Does me being here bother you?”

Miles shook his head, glancing over his shoulder to where he’d previously been searching. “Nah, not yet. I’m convinced Murphy’s trying to hide it so he can keep it from me,” he joked, giving him a small smile. It wasn’t like Nick was some stranger he couldn’t or didn’t know how to talk to. It was silly to act that way. One awkward situation wasn’t enough to ruin years of friendship. Miles nodded at his response, trying to maintain eye contact so he didn’t seem like he was avoiding him. But Nick’s question had Miles looking down at his feet again, his face getting warm. “It’s your apartment,” he replied lamely. It didn’t necessarily bother him to see Nick, because he really had missed him and wished things could be normal again. But now, at the realization that things probably couldn’t go back to normal, he wondered if it was even worth it to keep avoiding the inevitable conversation at this point. “You know it’s not like that. You know what this is.” He looked up. “Are we just going to pretend it never happened? Or are we going to talk about it?” He didn’t exactly know what there was he could say about it, but it had confused the hell out of him, and he had a feeling Nick was in the same boat.

“I wouldn’t put it passed him. I’d check under his bed if I were you. He’s sneaky but I think there’s only so many hiding spots around here he can have.” A hint of a smile crossed his face, grateful for the joke even if in the long run Nick had to go and ruin it. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked it, but he couldn’t seem to help himself. As much and as often as he told himself it was nothing and that it’d blow over of they gave each other enough space, the second he saw him he couldn’t help but lose some of that confidence. They hadn’t talked since that night, and unfortunately he couldn’t read minds. That’d make talking with the general public a whole lot easier if he could. “That is what it says on the lease, yeah.” He conceded, slowly nodding in his direction. “But you’re in it right now, so. I don’t know.” He lifted his shoulder up in a half shrug. “Thought I should ask.” Because yeah, it kind of sucked having to avoid each other, but if him being there made him feel weird or something he’d rather him tell him so he could make up some reason to leave the apartment again. For a moment, Nick didn’t know what to say, standing there as his nerves began to get the best of him. Still, he’d try to be casual about it the best he could so that maybe they could talk normally again. “There’s really nothing to talk about, man.” He finally spoke, not quite believing his own words even as he said them. “It was a weird night, okay? We were both… drunk and probably tired or something.” He cut himself off before he started to ramble off too much on bullshit excuses. “It was an accident.” Nick’s words were a little more confident than his last. He hoped that’d convince the both of them. “And I just don’t want us to be… weird and shit about it now.” Because honestly, he kind of just wanted his friend back. Avoiding each other clearly hadn’t helped much. And Nick missed the nonstop spam of vines and videos his phone would be attacked with throughout the day a little more than he cared to admit.

Miles didn’t respond at first. He didn’t know what he was waiting for, but he knew this was going to get awkward the second he brought it up, so he figured they should just get it over with now. They couldn’t avoid it forever and pretend that was the best option. “Is leaving actually going to fix anything at this point?” he asked, though he didn’t really want an answer. He wasn’t even sure what there was to fix. None of this seemed to be straightforward enough for him to understand. It was really screwing things up between them, which made Miles nervous; as much as he wanted everything to be normal again, it also kept making him wonder if it had been some sort of wake up call for both of them. At least for Miles, it definitely wasn’t the first time he’d ever thought about kissing Nick, and beer had had nothing to do with that. Nick’s words made Miles shift uncomfortably, crossing his arms over his chest and looking away. He agreed it was a weird night, but… “Drunk?” Miles repeated, raising his eyebrows as he looked back up again. “You get drunk off of one beer? ‘Cause I certainly wasn’t drunk.” He knew Nick was just trying to make excuses for the both of them, but the reality of the situation was that he’d wanted to kiss him just as much — and they were both equally sober. That was why Miles couldn’t forget it so easily. “We don’t have to be weird about it, man. It’s weird to not talk to each other. We’re best friends. It doesn’t make sense.” He dropped his arms, taking a few steps toward Nick as he let out a deep breath. The space between them was creating more tension than Miles had realized, and he figured he’d try to ease some of it. “If it was that much of an accident, it wouldn’t have taken something scaring the shit out of us to stop it.” It was weird to say it out loud, but it was the truth. He knew it. Nick knew it. “It’s one thing to move on from it and go back to normal, but you can’t look me in the eye and tell me it was nothing but an accident and just pretend it never happened.” Miles was holding eye contact now, refusing to back down because he knew he was right. He was all for being Nick’s friend again and waiting for his weird feelings to blow over. But he couldn’t do that if Nick refused to admit the truth.

All he could do was shrug wordlessly at that, because he knew it was a stupid suggestion to begin with, but he wasn’t exactly prepared to have this conversation. Honestly, Nick had convinced himself that if they both waited it out long enough, there wouldn’t have to be a conversation at all. Wishful thinking at it’s best. “Then how else do you want to explain it, Miles?” The frustration was clear as he spoke sharply. Nick was far from mad, but he couldn’t quite stop the panic from rising in him as Miles called him out on his excuses. He hadn’t expected him to want to talk about it like this. And the honesty freaked him out just a little bit. “No, we don’t.” He agreed with that, because he didn’t want to be weird about this. “And I’m sorry that we’ve been ignoring each other. That’s fucked up.” He could at least admit that out loud. And as Miles walked towards him, he didn’t move away. There was no reason for him to. It was just his friend. His best friend. They shouldn’t have to stand on opposite sides of the room at all times now. “But I don’t know what you’re expecting me to say. That’s not something that happens everyday, man. It’s not like it was planned.” He finally made eye contact, knowing deep down that Miles was right. Because it had felt like anything but an accident and he knew it. “It’s not like we’re going to do it again.” He found that harder to say than any of the other shit that was coming out of his mouth right now. “And we’ve never done it before. It is what it is.” He sighed, expression softening some as he tried to ignore of some of the nerves that had gathered in the pit of his stomach. “Can we just let it go? Please?”

Miles sighed. “I don’t know,” he muttered, crossing his arms again. He wasn’t trying to be standoffish, but he felt like he had to make himself feel less exposed somehow. Which wasn’t easy, considering it was getting really hard for him not to just blurt out everything he was thinking right now. “But I don’t want to lie and say we were drunk just to make it seem like it wasn’t real. It was real. You kissed me back.” Miles hadn’t actually said it out loud yet, as they’d been dancing around it this whole time. But if they were going to forget about it, Miles needed to talk about it for some sort of closure. “Yeah, it is fucked up.” He nodded, not knowing where he wanted to go with it. He listened until Nick was done speaking, but he had to bite his lip to keep from interrupting. “It wasn’t planned but it still happened. You can’t just say it didn’t and think it will be any less confusing.” But the reality of it all didn’t really hit him until Nick reminded him it wasn’t going to happen again. Right. There was that. He was suddenly brought back to reality from whatever planet he’d been on this whole time, thinking about this conversation leading anywhere but here. His arms fell again, hanging by his sides before he slid his hands into his pockets. “Right.” He nodded, feeling all the fight leave his body at once. It hadn’t meant anything. And he forgot to keep telling himself that. “I know it’s not, I just…Never mind. I don’t know.” He shook his head. “Yeah. You know what? Yeah. That’s probably best,” he agreed, though he didn’t believe his own words. He tried to smile at him. “Let’s just let it go. That’s probably our only option at this point.”

He couldn’t quite stop the guilt from settling in as Miles quieted down. He hadn’t meant for this to turn into an argument, or whatever this was. When it boiled down to it, Nick was just confused. And no time they spent apart and helped that. He was beginning to realize that Miles was just trying to make sense of it too. Sighing to himself, he paused a moment before speaking quietly. “I never said it wasn’t real. I just. I don’t know, Miles.” Nick shook his head. “We’re talking about it now, and things still feel pretty fucking weird. It’s confusing either way, man.” Nick wasn’t completely sure what the point he was trying to get across to Miles was, he just wanted to fix things somehow. Make everything go back to normal. But as he watched the others demeanor just change, he couldn’t help but feel as though he said or did something he shouldn’t have. Aside from the whole making out with him thing. Watching him carefully, he had to ask. “Are you just saying that, or do you mean it?” His hands curled into the fabric of his jacket from where they rested in his pockets. “I want us to be cool. Okay? You have to tell me you’re not secretly like — mad or something.” He paused, trying to crack a smile so it didn’t seem so serious even if it kind of was. “Just kind of want my friend back, you know?”

Miles didn’t know what to say. He knew that Nick was just as confused as he was, but Miles just didn’t know what was going through his head. He was just too afraid to ask. They were so close to being back to normal and Miles didn’t want to ruin it. Even if talking about it hadn’t really helped him much so far. But maybe reality slapping him across the face was what he needed: it genuinely didn’t mean anything. The sooner he realized that, the sooner they could just go back to being themselves again. “I mean it,” he said, although he wasn’t sure if it was entirely true. But what choice did he have? “I’m not mad. I want us to be okay, too. And the only way to do that is to let it go.” He felt significantly less awkward now, thankfully. But there was still a heavy feeling in his heart that he couldn’t quite place. He was just grateful it wasn’t all tense now. That was how things were supposed to be with them. They’d been friends for years. Nothing could weird for that long. “Okay. But if some shit happens again, I don’t wanna just stop talking. Can we at least agree on that?” he asked. “That’s not gonna work for me.” Not talking to him had made everything much worse for Miles. It left him too much time to think about it all and confuse him even more. “We’re bros. It doesn’t have to be like that.”

He wished that he knew what to say to make it all seem okay, but the fact of the matter was that Nick didn’t know how to handle the situation. If he were being honest, he was still a little freaked out over what had happened between them, but talking about it wasn’t going to help matters any. The only thing he knew to do was to just forget about it. “Okay.” He said simply enough, nodding and accepting the answer, although he hoped that Miles didn’t hear the doubt in his voice. This is what he had wanted, for Miles to agree to just let it go. But he still couldn’t help but feel weird about it, like something was still wrong somehow. “Everything’s good then. Okay?” He meant it as a final statement, but he couldn’t seem to stop it from coming out as a question. The conversation was a whole lot less stressful now that he knew Miles wasn’t about to punch him, and that they weren’t still actively avoiding each other. And a big part of him wanted to reach out somehow. Hug him or pat him on the shoulder or something to prove that they were cool again. But he refrained. If there were a surefire way to make things awkward again, touching him would probably be it. “I’m not gonna stop talking to you again.” He said after a moments pause, nodding although he was certain there would be no more slip ups. It fucked everything up enough the first time. “If we have a problem we can just fight it out with our fists like normal people, alright?” He cracked a small smile, trying to lighten the mood with a joke before sincerity colored his tone. “As long as things go back to normal.” That was the main goal here. “Besides. There’s so much shit I wanted to tell you that I can’t remember now. I’m not sure what they were about but it was probably at least kind of funny.” 

There was another lull in the conversation after Nick spoke, but it wasn’t too awkward this time. It was actually sort of nice. Miles had been tense the entire time, bracing himself for whatever horrible situation that was lying ahead, but now he could physically feel things starting to return to normal. They could be friends again, back to how they had been before they had kissed and everything had become confusing. “Yeah,” Miles responded, nodding. “Everything’s good.” In reality, Miles wasn’t sure what he had gone into this expecting. He wasn’t sure what he actually wanted to come out of it. He was happy they didn’t hate each other, but the idea of letting it go still didn’t seem to sit right with him. He felt like just ten minutes ago he would have done anything to convince Nick not to pretend it never happened, but now he was willing to do just that, as long as it meant he could have his friend back. It was confusing. But he didn’t particularly want to think about that anymore, because everything he was thinking had changed the minute he remembered it hadn’t meant anything. The distance between them suddenly felt too big again, but Miles didn’t want to be the one to close it anymore than he already had. He laughed lightly. “Sounds like a plan. But I’d beat you in a fight any day. You’ve seen me at my angriest before. It’s not pretty.” He nodded, at least agreeing with that. Not talking to Nick for so long was actually a hassle, since he now had all these things he’d wanted to show him piled up in his mind or just plain forgotten. He never realized just how much they shared with each other until there came a time that he wasn’t able to bring himself to talk to him at all. “Same here, man. Had to start sending all these stupid videos to my mom ‘cause I couldn’t just keep them to myself. She didn’t appreciate them like you do, though.” It was true. She usually had to have Miles explain it to her and that just really took away from it. He needed Nick’s matching sense of humor. “Also, I drank the rest of the beer you left at my place. I’d offer to buy you more to make up for it, but…” He shrugged. “Guess you’ll just have to remember that I’m your best friend and we’ll consider it a friendly gift so I don’t owe you shit.”

He had thought that maybe some distance would provide some clarity for the both of them, but at least for him it seemed to be the opposite. He still had no idea whatever the hell that was, or what their excuse for it even was, but he supposed now it didn’t matter. Things were starting to feel normal again, so really the only thing to do was just put it out of his mind. The truth was that he had missed him. It was different when they were just too busy to hang out or whatever. But it turns out that did not feel the same as intentionally ignoring someone did. That stung more than he’d care to admit, although truthfully it was mostly his own fault.  Smiling at him for real now, Nick stepped further into the room and closer towards Miles, feeling free to do so now that his apartment felt like less of a war zone and more like his home again. “Yeah, about that. If you do decide to take me down, do me a favor and avoid my face. Nose is already fucked up enough as it is. But the stomach area? All yours, man.” He was only mostly joking. Nick knew by now that Miles could pack a punch if he wanted to. He just didn’t quite want to be on the receiving end of that. “I’m sad I missed that. You think if I text her she’ll send them to me?” He laughed, joking easily enough now that the air around them wasn’t as heavy as it previously was. “Don’t worry about it.” He shook his head, quieting down some. “I probably would’ve left it for you, anyway.” You know, if he hadn’t have made some bullshit excuse and hauled ass back home. “I was just gonna add it onto the list of things I can hold over your head when you turn twenty one. You’ll be a full fledged adult, so I won’t have to be as nice to you then.”

Miles couldn’t explain what he felt when Nick smiled at him and came closer, but all he knew for sure was that he was thankful things were going to be fine between them again. They could be friends once again without all the weirdness, even if that meant doing exactly what Miles hadn’t wanted to do. He’d do it if it meant having Nick back. “My anger knows no bounds,” he said simply, shrugging. “I don’t think I’d be able to remember to watch for your nose if I was really ready to kick your ass. But I guess I’ll try if it ever does happen.” He had never actually hit someone he really cared about before. He wasn’t that stupid. But he wasn’t exactly the best at controlling his impulses, which Nick clearly knew now. “Maybe, if she hasn’t deleted them all yet. I’m sure she’d cry just by getting to talk to you. She still keeps telling me she misses you.” He wondered sometimes if his mom loved him as much as she loved his friends. She asked about Nick and Murphy almost on a daily basis. Miles shrugged. “Well, it’s gone now, in any case. I drank it while I watched cooking shows with Scout. As you could probably tell, I’ve had a pretty wild few weeks. You totally missed out.” Miles rolled his eyes, but laughed. “I’m sure you have a list of things against me. I can’t wait to see on my birthday. Which is coming up, in case you forgot and need a whole month to prepare a big extravagant gift for me.” It suddenly occurred to Miles why he’d even come here in the first place, because it hadn’t just been to talk to Nick, and now that was all he was doing. “Oh, shit. I still can’t find Mario Kart,” he said, mostly to himself, turning back around. “Did you take it?”

The last thing Nick wanted was to mess up their friendship somehow. For the past few days he couldn’t help but feel like he had, so this reassurance from Miles that everything was okay and that nothing had changed meant a lot. Even if he still felt a little odd for reasons he didn’t quite want to dwell on. Nick was determined that it would go away with time. “I’ll try to practice my fighting skills just in case, then. I appreciate the try, though.” The sad thing was that Nick knew Miles could kick his ass if he wanted to, but he wasn’t going to let him know that. He’d think he was scared of him — which he totally wasn’t, by the way. “Maybe I should. “ Nick was pretty sure there were times him and Murphy saw more of her than they did their actual Mom. And sure, maybe it would be a little weird for him to contact his friends Mom out of the blue just to say hi, but he didn’t want her to think they were ignoring her. Parents got weird about that stuff, even if they weren’t your own. “Dude, I feel like I have. Have you been watching Hell’s Kitchen? That show gets crazy. You probably needed the beer more than I did; I’m still a few weeks behind.” He couldn’t help but snort at that. “What, you mean you aren’t okay with a Starbucks gift-card? I was gonna get you the twenty-five dollar one and everything.” He already had a fairly good idea of what he was going to get him already, but he didn’t want him to know he planned this stuff. If word got out, him and Murphy would never leave him alone about potential gifts. “Mario Kart? Nah. I only try to steal Smash Bros. You’ve got the wrong brother.” He motioned down to the bottom of the TV, trying his best to see something from where he stood. “Have you tried under the TV? Sometimes we stack things that we use a lot there ‘cause it’s easier to find than it would be on the shelf.” Or stuff fell that they just left there for safe keeping. Better hidden than underfoot where they’d probably step on it. “You need me to shine a flashlight or something for you?”

Miles laughed. “Maybe it’s easier to just, y'know, not fight. There is some middle ground between completely ignoring each other and kicking the shit out of each other, you know. It’s called rationality.” Truthfully, if something weird were to ever happen again, there was no doubt in Miles’ mind that they would be able to work it out. This had turned out well given the circumstances, and he was certain Nick agreed on never wanting to just ignore him again. “Then you go do that. She’d love it.” Miles raised an eyebrow at Nick’s sudden enthusiasm. He should’ve brought up cooking shows weeks ago; it probably would have saved them a whole lot of silence. “Not really. I have seen it but it’s been a while. My mom used to be really into that one. I’m more of a Food Network guy myself — you know, Cupcake Wars, Chopped… The more sophisticated stuff,” he joked. He really did watch them, though. Yet he still couldn’t cook for shit. He couldn’t help but roll his eyes again at Nick’s joke about his gift, but he really didn’t have to get him anything. It sounded lame but Miles didn’t actually expect anything from Nick or Murphy. But Miles always wanted to go all out for them, anyway. “As a matter of fact, I would love that. I spend too much money on coffee. You’d feed my addiction for, like, three whole days. So thank you. You’re the sweetest.” He was teasing him but he wasn’t even lying. “Under the TV…?” Miles immediately turned around and dropped to his hands and knees to look over the stack Nick was referring to. Sure enough, his game was right there in plain sight. “Huh. So I guess I have a lot less faith in you guys as loyal friends than I should.” He stood up and looked at Nick, showing him the game now safely back in his hands. “But now all is right in the world.”

“I don’t know, sounds like a lot of work. You sure we’ve got that kind of time?” He was joking although he knew he was right.  Maybe they’d both kind of overreacted with the whole ignoring each other thing, and admittedly trying to fist fight it out wouldn’t exactly be the best solution either. Talking it out, or rather not talking about it at all, was clearly the best option here. So he guessed he’d stick with it. Nick nodded before grinning at the mention of the cooking shows. “It’s really intense. You’re missing out on a lot of savagery because the people are in it to win it. Dude, yes. Cupcake Wars is the best. And Halloween Wars. It’s exactly the same only they try to make the cupcakes spooky. And they use like, a ton of pumpkins. It’s awesome.” He wasn’t sure if it was still around, but the re-runs were definitely worth watching in his opinion. “I might end up saving that for Christmas so you have time to forget and are actually surprised. Just try not to look disappointed on your Birthday when you get your actual gift, alright? You’re going to make me feel guilty.” He laughed and nodded as Miles dropped down to search for the game. In all honesty he wasn’t sure if it’d be there or not — he didn’t even know they had Mario Kart at the apartment to begin with. Which was a shame because he would have tried to play it. At least for a little while. “Clearly.” He shook his head in amusement as Miles stood up with the game in hand. “Good. I’m glad you can breathe again. Next time just ask instead of thinking we’re hoarding all your stuff, okay? We only do that sometimes.”

Miles shook his head. “You’re right. It might just be easier at that point to fight.” He knew completely forgetting about what had happened was probably not much better than ignoring each other, but it definitely beat fighting, so Miles was going to take that and run with it. He was glad now that cooking shows were the topic of conversation, since he had a lot of opinions on the matter. “There’s enough savagery in Cupcake Wars. Cupcakes are pretty serious. Those people don’t take it lightly.” He nodded. “I didn’t know that was a thing, but I love Halloween so I feel like I should catch up on that. I gotta learn how to bake so I can be on one of those shows. You’d have to be my partner, though.” Miles had had his fair share of failed baking experiences, and it was disheartening, honestly. He spent too much time watching those shows to still be so bad at baking. “That’s cool, ‘cause at least then it’ll be the gift cards with all the snowflakes and stuff. Super festive.” He was always so nosy about birthday gifts, but he wasn’t the asshole who bugged the other person about it constantly. “Well, in my defense, ‘sometimes’ hoarding my stuff is enough for me to be curious about it every time. I never know what you guys are up to.” Miles panicked internally as silence came over them, fearing it would become awkward once again. He looked around aimlessly for a moment before saying the first thing that came to his mind. “So…how’s work going? At that club or whatever. You work late nights a lot. You must be pretty popular over there.” Although he’d never really mentioned what it was that he did. But Miles didn’t really care. He himself was still trying to find a job he wouldn’t hate. Nick was much better off than he was already.

Nick smiled and nodded once, amused now that the conversation between them was normal again. Well, as normal as they could get. “Can you blame them? They get ten thousand dollars and weird ass party invites. You can’t just lose something like that, gotta be serious.” He nodded, almost serious himself. “You should give it a try. We’ll YouTube a couple of baking videos and then apply. But I’m in. We’d kick so much ass, man. They’d look awesome.” All they needed to do was make sure they were edible. Then they’d for sure win. “It’ll be the glittery snow flake one, too. So when it gets everywhere you’ll always remember where it came from. That way when it gets shoved down in your wallet you don’t forget about it. That’s thinking ahead.” He teased before shrugging. “I don’t know half of the time either. We don’t plan it, you know.” Nick smiled, before the conversation began to die off and he shifted on his feet. Though, truth be told, when Miles spoke again, part of him wished things had just gone silent and awkward again. Because he immediately froze, looking at Miles oddly for a moment. “What do you mean by that?” He was confused, although inwardly he couldn’t help but panic. Miles couldn’t know, though. It was an innocent question. He was just being paranoid. “They like me okay, I guess.” He replied slowly, shrugging as he tried to not seem like he was weird about answering. “It’s going okay. I’m getting lots of hours.” He paused, trying to summon up another smile. “And it’s a fun job. I’m good with the customers, I think.” At least he hoped so. It’d be embarrassing if he were bad at his job. “How’re things going for you? You find something yet?”

“Can’t argue there. There’s a lot on the line. That’s where enemies are made.” Miles laughed, but he was totally serious. Cupcakes were no laughing matter. “Can you bake? That’s the real question. ‘Cause I sure can’t. So I’m kinda counting on you to take home the win for us, man.” It wasn’t that hard to follow a recipe, but somehow he still always messed it up. “Oh, great. I totally want glitter all over my wallet. It is good thinking, though, ‘cause I’ll be more likely to use it if it gets rid of the glitter.” The conversation shifted as Nick seemed confused by Miles’ question, even tense. He hadn’t meant anything by it, of course. He himself became confused, but he didn’t want to question Nick’s reaction too much. “I—what?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “I just meant…you work a lot. I was just saying it must be going well.” He nodded as Nick continued to talk, not wanting to push anything more than he already had. “That’s good. I’ll still have to come visit someday,” he offered, smiling. When his own job hunt came into question, Miles sighed, slumping his shoulders. “Nope. I’m picky as hell. My dad’s been giving me shit because I won’t keep my options open. But hey. We don’t all find our dream jobs as accountants in our early twenties, Dad.” He shook his head. “But I’m not bitter or anything at my having no direction in life. Make no mistake.”

“Honestly. If you were somehow on the other team, I hope you know I’d have to destroy you. I mean , that’d never happen because you’d be on my team and we’d make a total power couple. But hypothetically.” This was serious shit so he had to have the best on his team. Miles would see his vision, at the very least. Even if neither of them had very intensive baking experience. “Like — from a box. My Mom tried to show me how to do it from scratch once, but I think I forgot. The box is easy, though, all you’ve gotta do is read the back then mash everything together. As long as they allow it we’ll be fine.” Hopefully. Maybe. Hypothetically speaking only, of course. “Don’t mention it. Just trying to look out for you, man.” The confusion that appeared on Miles’ face at his slight outburst clued him into the fact that it had been an innocent question, and that he wasn’t just trying to fuck with him. It was too sincere. So Nick relaxed some, hoping the paranoia hadn’t seeped into his tone too obviously. “Right. Well. Yeah.” He nodded. “Yeah, it’s going fine. I mean, it’d be nice to have the night off every once in awhile. But you know, the money is nice.” The money was definitely nice. Even if he couldn’t seem to save much of it. If it didn’t cost so much to live maybe he’d actually have more than a few bucks to his name. “Hey, you’ll find something. You don’t have to settle just because he wants you to, you know. Then you’d just be stuck in a shitty job that you hate. And then you wouldn’t be able to find the time to find something you do like.” He paused for a moment. Nick wasn’t sure if anyone really had any direction in life. In fact, he was eighty percent sure that it was just a myth. But if anyone could find it, it’d be Miles and Murphy. It’d just take a little while. “Plus, you’re probably busy doing more important things anyway. Instead of trying to do math you can just catch up on Halloween Wars. Who knows?” He smiled, shrugging. “You’d probably end up being happier.”

“Well, yeah. I would too. Every man for himself. No friends in Cupcake Wars.” Miles shrugged. “Well, yeah, any idiot can do that. I don’t think they allow using mixes from a box, though. Anyone could win in that case.” He was beginning to think he should actually start to learn how to bake in case the situation ever arose. “I appreciate it.” Nick was noticeably less tense, but it still left Miles wondering what had gotten him so worked up in the first place. He’d let it slide, though. “Yeah, I mean, the money makes it all worth it, I’m sure. Glad it’s working out for you, though.” He shrugged. “Yeah, I dunno. I’ve seen a few things but nothing’s sticking. I’ll die before I work in retail so it kinda limits my options. I’m also trying to avoid anything with dogs ‘cause I don’t want Scout to be pissed every time I come home.” Scout generally avoided him when he smelled like other dogs. She was easily jealous, clearly. “Totally. I’m still pretty busy with school, anyway. I’ll figure it out eventually.” Miles found himself saying that often, especially to his parents when they asked what his plans for after graduation were. But it was true. He would figure it out eventually. “Of course I’d be happier watching Halloween Wars. Wouldn’t we all?” He sighed, glancing down at his feet and slipping his free hand into his pocket. He didn’t particularly want to leave in the middle of an intriguing conversation about cupcakes and glitter, but he hadn’t planned on being here for too long. “Anyway, I should get going soon. But it was, um…it was good talking to you, man.” He reached for his keys in his coat pocket. “Let me know if you want to hang out or anything. Otherwise I’ll definitely see you for my birthday and the wedding.” It was definitely convenient that they were within days of each other. “Thanks for helping me find the game.”

“Pretty sure that’s the tagline for the show, actually.” He nodded to himself, even if it probably most definitely wasn’t. "Hey, you asked. But google is always an option too. I’m sure Gordon Ramsay’s got a recipe online somewhere.” Nick wasn’t the best baker or cook himself, but at least he could figure things out, if he really needed to. Nodding as Miles’ spoke, he didn’t respond until he stopped. “Can she really tell? ‘Cause in that case, she might be able to smell Murphy’s dog on you. No idea where she is, but she was running through here earlier. Her scent could be sticking to you right now for all we know.” He rose an eyebrow, although truthfully he wasn’t all that surprised. Dogs were smart. Especially that one. Nick had learned that the hard way. “School takes up a lot of time, anyway. I say print out your class schedule for proof when people start to give you shit.” Nick laughed. “You do have a point.” He’d rather be watching Halloween Wars 10 out of 10 times himself. He nodded, smile nearly sheepish for allowing the conversation to go on for so long when Miles’ had only been there for the one thing. He probably hadn’t intended to have a heart to heart and a full on conversation about TV shows when he came over, but in Nick’s defense, he hadn’t planned that either.  “Ah — right. And I should probably do what I said I was going to.” That nap wasn’t going to take itself. And he was running out of time to try to do that, unfortunately. “You too. I’ll…text you or something soon.” Because it was cool to do that again now, he hoped. “If not, I’ll definitely see you soon. Wouldn’t miss either.” He was being sincere. He’d been planning on it even when they were being weird still. “You’re welcome. Now you know all of our hiding places, though.” Well, one of them. “We’ll have to come up with brand new ones now. I don’t want to be predictable.”

[jeninasolon]

Cinderella Phenomenon thoughts + review

Hi, guys, so I had an accidental discovery of knowing Cinderella Phenomenon through Steam, I was only searching innocently for amazing games such as Fate Extella and Outlast II as well as Ozmafia and Nameless. Until I stumbled on a free to play Visual Novel on Steam (which you can directly play if you have steam, but if not, I highly suggest you install Steam first before playing).

Cinderella Phenomenon is developed by dicesuki. Support them because they’re awesome af.

Let me tell you, it was the biggest and most amazing accident I have ever did. From searching Outlast II and Extella just in case if I have money to buy that, I just decided to get Cinderella Phenomenon, because with amazing graphics, a detailed and well-crafted story as well as a FREE game? What more could you ask for?

I also want to make this statement, this game is hella better than Mystic Messenger, yes I played Jaehee, Yoosung’s and Zen’s route but I saw the spoiler of Jumin and Luciel’s. But me, being a broke ass here, I can’t afford hourglass and I am very impatient and I was falling out so I canceled it.

 But I have to say, Mystic Messenger and Cinderella Phenomenon have somewhat similar in characters, of course, the heroine in the latter is someone you don’t want to be with. But yeah, she’s interesting. She kinda reminds me of Taiga Aisaka, but she doesn’t hit people, just snaps at them or give out RBFs because it’s her only specialty (for now).

What I love about this game is here:

The story - fairy tales are used over and over again especially Alice in Wonderland, Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast but in my opinion, the first one is common. The story seemingly has some twists and turns and have a Fairy tale curse that affects them really badly and only way to break them is doing the opposite (like in Cinderella, bad heroine has to do 3 good deeds because original Cinderella is kind-hearted)

The heroine - I have a lot to say about this, this heroine is different, unlike most otome girls, who are helpless *cough*Yui*cough* and relies on the cruel vampiric boys, this girl Lucette here is a thug man, she is cold-hearted and cruel because her mother brainwashed her for whole 17 years, imagine she has to adapt to being good after her mother forced her to trust in her and died while she did horrid things to the palace behind Lucette’s back. But still, that can’t be stopped because she’s bad ass and is an Ice Queen which made her uber interesting. She also is well-balanced, since she was just out from her mother’s care, cruel and untrusting and was forced to become good because the fairies and witches don’t want to start another war with her daughter as Tenebraurum Bearer.

The characters’ stories - some have quirky, interesting and somewhat not my tea stories, the ones I find interesting was Rod of course and Rumpel, considering he has a fiance who left him for good reason (chaotic good). I also like Waltz’ story considering he was once too a student of Hildyr (Lucette’s devil mother whoissatanherself)

Character designs - Lucette’s hairstyle is quite deceiving, although I picture it just below her shoulders when it’s down. Dicesuki (or Kooriiko) posted a drawing of her fully long to her waist, heck I just realized that she has tight braids to suppress the length. I also love the color combination of her, Parfait, looks really like a cotton candy when I first saw her, Dolera, on the other hand, looks really like a witch with good intentions. She is the reason why you shouldn’t judge people based on their appearance. Rod looks like a fusion between Ciel, Alois, and Kanato but is very stable than the latter. Emelaigne? Well, I gotta say, she’s very beautiful and has the epitome of a naive and sweet girl, I was reminded of Yoosung from Mystic Messenger and I have a feeling they would get along really well besides Rumpel (with Saeyoung and Zen, Karma).

Overall, there’s not much I could contradict to this game, but downfall would be, is there any more fairy tales they’re gonna add? Like from a different culture? Like a Japanese, Korean or American. Plus more characters (especially female options) that would be really amazing. The more diverse in fairy tales they add. The better.

Anyways, that’s my verdict for the game. I have yet to complete Waltz and Fritz’s route but my lazy ass won’t take it in lol. Big thanks to dicesuki for their hard work and dedication as well consideration for making this free for us.

[pie-and-shotguns-blog]

Title Lyric from “Patience” by Guns and Roses

Courtesy canonspngifs.tumblr.com

We really aren’t sure what to do with this ep. (I vote cry, rage, and then pick up the pieces and move forward.—Marge) On the one hand, it was a really good episode, beautifully written by Robert Berens and a perfect setup for the backdoor pilot to Wayward Sisters, the much anticipated SPN spin-off. On the other hand, they fucking killed one of our favorite BAMF WOC characters, and they did it off-screen AGAIN, and they kinda fridged her AGAIN. Yes, her death was noble and she was bad ass to the very end, but it still felt a lot like we—and she—got screwed.

Anyway. So apparently there is a wraith (one of those creepy-ass human-looking things with the stabby-spiky-appendage that descends from their wrist so they can eat your brains. Remember the ‘Pudding’ episode – 5×11?) and he eats nothing but psychics. Real psychics, mind you, not the ones that litter every major thoroughfare of every street from the suburbs to the big cities, with the neon hands of fate and TAROT CARDS and quite often “for rent” signs, which always make us wonder how they didn’t see that coming, hahaha. But this is Supernatural, so there are real psychics, and he eats them.

DAWN: How many REAL psychics can there be, though, even in SPN-land? That wraith looks pretty well-fed for someone whose only food source is relatively rare. MARGE: I wondered about that too but then I thought about how many we’ve seen in comparison to how many we’ve seen of other creatures… Seems like psychics might be plentiful? Possible, not probable? ERICA: Y’all think of things much differently than I do. My main thought was “what happens when he runs out?” MARGE: I mean, I think it’s just a taste he’s acquired. He can go back to eating us regular old humans, I guess. It just won’t be as satisfying for him. Poor little-dissatisfied wraith… Ugh. ERICA: I don’t know though…the way he phrased it, it struck me as an addiction thing, sooo…. MARGE: Wraith rehab? No? lol

Back at the bunker, Dean is isolated in his room, listening to music, drinking lots of beer, and being sad in general. Sam is checking on Jack, who hasn’t left his room since they got there and he got settled in. Sam gives Jack the video message that Kelly recorded for him while she was still pregnant. Just as Jack begins watching his mom, which was so very sad, Sam’s phone rings.

Courtesy canonspngifs.tumblr.com

This psychic-eating-wraith from the opening scene is the lead-in for the return of our favorite BAMF-but-soon-to-be-dead character who is also our backdoor for the Wayward Sisters spin-off: none other than Missouri Moseley, folks, played by the inimitable Loretta Devine (yas queen). We’ve missed her and we’ve always wanted her back so the fandom was THRILLED to learn that she was going to re-appear this season. She tells Sammy she’s been out of the life for a while but now she needs some help on a case with which she has a personal connection.

Courtesy canonspngifs.tumblr.com

We’re just gonna come right out and say it. No point in teasing this one out. Missouri comes back for this one episode, y’all, and they kill her ass off in the first 20 minutes without breaking a sweat, breaking the hearts of the entire fandom and enraging more than a few, us included.

MARGE: I actually threatened to riot on Twitter… It was an emotional moment. DAWN: I am displeased. Very displeased. ERICA: “Displeased”….such a gentle word for the rage that consumes me. MARGE: I also scream-tweeted at Robert Berens. Oops. Sorry, sir… ERICA: Ditto, fam.  

So it was awful, it hurt, but did she go out like the badass that she is? Yes. Yes, did she ever. She chose her death, in order to save her son and granddaughter from the wraith because she saw that it was the only way they would live—literally she saw that, because Missouri is psychic AF, and she checked to make sure. And then she sends Dean into the fray, with the directive to save her family. So, he did. Kinda. Really, her family sort of saved her family, with Dean’s assistance, but we’ll get there in a minute.

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Missouri sent Dean and Jody to find her son James Turner (played by Adrian Holmes), and granddaughter, Patience (played by Clark Backo), and to protect them while she stayed behind at the murder scene of her protege, Dede, knowing that she was going to die. Then she basically told the wraith to get fucked:

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DAWN: Their last name is Turner, not Mosely. Rufus’ last name was Turner. Headcanon accepted. MARGE: Definitely! I LOVE the idea that Missouri and Rufus were a thing… Maybe that’s why Rufus was such a hateful old cuss. He had an awesome thing with someone as badass as Missouri and lost it?… I wanna feel like they had the kind of love folks write fairytales about. Ok, enough speculation on that or I’m gonna get all misty-eyed. DAWN: Yeah, I’m going to need that fanfic in a hurry. Somebody get on that. MARGE: We should add it to our ever-growing list of things we want to write… LOL

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SO, Jody and Dean run off, find James and Patience, who Missouri believed was psychic before James cut her out of their lives (initially because Missouri ‘incorrectly’ predicted that James’ wife would survive an illness but also for fear that Missouri would ‘influence or poison’ Patience).

MARGE: Total speculation, but I think Missouri probably told her boy his wife was gonna live because she didn’t want to break his heart… maybe that was it. Geez.

Patience dreams of being attacked by the wraith and then goes to school, which is where she was attacked in the dream, and just so happens to be… guess what… attacked by a wraith. Everything looked a little deja-vu-ish, of course. Who would’ve thought? Channeling a little of granny’s badassery, Patience knees the wraith in the dangly-bits and then breaks off his stabby-spiky-thing. Signs of spunk—we like it. Patience is pretty cool so far. The acting could use a little bolstering, but we definitely believe she’ll get there. It’s hard to judge based on first appearances but who are we kidding, we do it anyway. Dean and Jody show up just in time to confront the wraith but he manages to elude them and almost hits Dean with his van while escaping.

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Cut to the Turner home where Dean, Jody, and Patience break the news to James about the attack and the likelihood that Patience is, in fact, possibly psychic (DUH! Missouri Moseley is like never wrong.—Marge) He decides it’s time to run, sends Patience to her room to collect her things, and then, gee, what do you know, the fucking wraith is hiding in the closet. Cue – classic-horror-genre-girl-scream and Dean, Dad, and Jody scrambling upstairs to find an open window. The wraith has kidnapped Patience so Dad uses a little divination he learned from his mama to find her… yes… the skeptical father who cut MISSOURI MOSELY out of her granddaughter’s life is like, meh, desperate times… let’s do some magic real fast to find my girl. Which is reasonable… but still. What an asshole.

Patience is in what appears to be an abandoned warehouse, tied up, and the wraith is being a total fucking creep—talking about how he’s going to feed on her over and over and really draw it out… just…ewwwww. And then, what a shock, Patience has a vision… in which her father, Jody, and Dean all get stabbed to death. It doesn’t look like a vision at the time though, so yano, we think everyone just died horribly painful deaths. It was sort of awful but then we realize quickly it was actually a vision and Dean, Jody, and Dad are just arriving on the scene to save the day. This is the part about how Missouri’s family actually saved themselves with Dean’s assistance. Because of her vision, even though she is tied up and can’t fight, Patience is able to warn her Dad, Dean, and Jody all before the wraith can land the stabbing blows that supposedly killed each of them earlier. Dean manages to take the wraith out and Patience is freed. Hooray for happy endings… except MISSOURI IS STILL DEAD.

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Meanwhile, back at the Bunker, Sam is trying to “train” Jack to use his powers and Jack is basically a surly teenager who doesn’t want to do his homework. Sam pressures him; Jack freaks out; Sam leaves him alone to cool off.

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And then we see Sam, reading a book about parenting gifted children while surveilling Jack via his laptop, which honestly was the cutest thing ever and very likely caused the entire fandom to spontaneously ovulate. Even the men.

MARGE: That takes talent.

Sam is distracted by his reading, so it takes him a few minutes to notice that Jack is no longer on-camera. Cue Dad-panic at it’s finest from Sam Winchester. He runs to the library and finds Jack hiding in the corner.

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They have a heartbreaking talk about being different and misunderstood, how hard it is, and why Dean can’t deal, and honestly, Sam would have been such an amazing daddy and it’s horrible that he will (probably) never get that chance. *SOBS* Jack confesses that he already believes he is probably evil because his powers have never presented unless something negative was happening. Sammy gives him a little bit more sunshine and rainbows and Jackieboy seems to be feeling better about things.

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MARGE: Seriously folks, we talk a lot about Jensen Ackles’ award-worthiness, but for real Jared Padalecki deserves just as many accolades. He is just as capable of an amazing emotional portrayal of Sam Winchester and it hits us in the feels just as hard as Jensen’s Dean. This scene was so incredibly well done.  Also, while we’re throwing praise, Alexander Calvert, is absolutely killing it as Jack so far! Excellent casting choice, for sure! ERICA: I think this is the point in our live-tweeting that I thought about what a good dad Sammy would’ve made if only JOHN WINCHESTER HADN’T DISAPPEARED DURING A FUCKING HUNT. GodDAMNIT John. MARGE: I tweeted something about how Sammy and Jessica’s kids would have turned out. *crying in the corner*

Back to Dean, Jody, James, and Patience. They’re back at the Turner house and discussing the future, of course, because Patience has just found out she’s psychic… Dad tells her to bury her gift (proving that he has learned NOTHING from all of this), Dean gives the typical ‘this life is nothing but “pain, horror, and death” so if you’ve got a shot at normal you better take it’ speech, and Jody, (ALWAYS mother of the year even when they aren’t her kids) drops some truth about what happens when you try to suppress some part of yourself to please others. She lets Patience know if she ever needs anything, Jody is just a phone call away.

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And this is how you set up a spin-off folks! We are SO PUMPED about Wayward Sisters. Dean and Jody head out and we are left to wonder what will come of Patience Turner.

Dean returns to the bunker, he and Sammy briefly discuss the case and Missouri’s death. Then Dean asks Sam if Jack’s gone dark yet, of course. Sam confronts Dean about telling Jack he would kill him if need be and then we have another emotional brotherly battle because Dean lets loose about his animosity towards Jack. He tears into Sam about how he shouldn’t pretend to care about Jack since he only cares about what he can use him for. He says Sam just wants to use Jack as a “can-opener” to the dimension where Mary is trapped with Lucifer. Dean screams at Sammy about how he can’t even look at Jack because when he does “all he sees is everyone they’ve lost”. Sam remarks that their Mom took her shot—she chose her path. Dean replies with “What about Cas?”. Ouch. This is where we see broken-boy Dean Winchester at his finest. He lets Sammy know that the reason he can’t get on board with being Jack’s care-taker is because Jack is the reason they lost Castiel. That Jack made Cas promises, Cas believed everything he said, and what did it get him?

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ERICA: Let me preface this next comment by saying that I love Jensen Ackles and his acting–it’s exceptional. But I’m not gonna lie–I’m having a REALLY hard time with Dean this season. Like. We get it. You’re pissed at the world. We get it. Guess what, booboo, this is the life you signed up for. This is the life you dragged Sammy into 13 years ago. You flat out told Patience that it’s all death and horror and blah blah, and yet here you are, acting like you DIDN’T drag your brother into that life. Time to stop acting like a child. I expected this 13 years ago, but you’ve grown from here. Time to act like it. (Addendum: I’m also super salty lately, so there’s that.) MARGE: I’m with you on a lot of that. I just wanna scream STOP BEING MEAN TO SAMMY in order to process your grief. I know it’s a normal psychological response, and that he doesn’t have anyone but Sam to take his frustrations out on, but come on man, Sam loves Cas too… Sam just lost his mom too, AGAIN! What makes your pain more important, Dean? End rant.

Jack is in the hallway, listening to every single word of this heated exchange of course and somehow, through his powers that are yet to be determined, he reaches out to Castiel. Final scene: CASTIEL IS ALIVE! We actually get to see Cas alive (at least he appears to be). We don’t know where he is, but he looks relatively normal, if a bit confused. At first he’s on the floor looking dead, but evidently, he is actually asleep, knocked out, or ???, and as Jack whispers his name, he wakes.

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We didn’t get to see any apocalypse world action in this episode, which made us sad since that is what we’ve been living for so far this season. We did, however, get the promise that it is coming via a few interactions on Twitter (Fan-girl Squeal!):

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Roll credits. I guess there’s some hope left from this episode after all.

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“All we need is just a little Patience” Supernatural recap 13×3, “Patience” Title Lyric from “Patience” by Guns and Roses Courtesy canonspngifs.tumblr.com We really aren’t sure what to do with this ep.