#also having to live for however many days with most of my things packed away in boxes is Not Appealing To Me

[crowsofdarkness]

Bucky Barnes

All of my works are intended for ages eighteen years or older since most of them are smut. MDNI.

I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION TO COPY, TRANSLATE, STEAL, OR POST MY WORK ANYWHERE.

REQUESTS FOR BUCKY ARE CLOSED.

UPDATED ON 06/09/2025

Arranged: Reader would do anything to make her parents happy and that included agreeing to an arranged marriage. She never expected it to be to one of New York's most feared Mob Boss: Bucky Barnes. He is anything but loving towards Reader however when her parents are mysteriously killed, Bucky makes it his mission to find out who were at fault. And in the process, ends up coming close to losing Reader.-COMPLETE

Moment Of Weakness- Reader is the assistant to New York's most feared mob boss, James Buchanan Barnes. He had the picture-perfect life: status in the mob, friends, and beautiful wife. So why can't he keep his mind and eyes off of reader?- COMPLETE

Soldat: Agent Y/N has worked alongside Steve Rogers at SHIELD for some time all while keeping a dark secret from everyone. Until one day that darkness faces her head on and she's forced to make a choice. Continue fighting alongside Captain America? Or find her home once again with Soldat?-COMPLETE

Dorogaya(Sequel to Soldat): It has been a few years since Bucky and Reader went into hiding. Just when they thought they were slowly building a life together, the past comes back with a vengeance.-COMPLETE

Vaz Prizrak(Finale in Soldat Series)- Bucky and Reader have been in their own solace while in Wakanda for years. They were finally happy to create the life they wanted and deserved. That was until a new foe came along to dust it all away-COMPLETE

Who Are You?: The Winter Soldier x Agent Fallen x The Crow: Agent Fallen was looking for a ghost, her ghost. With direct orders to shoot on sight to anyone who stands in her way, she soon finds herself at a crossroads when facing another ghost. The Crow. As they work together to find The Winter Soldier, Fallen and Eric Draven have to also work out their complicated relationship with each other. ON HOLD.

Time: Bucky Barnes x Reader- Your relationship with Bucky could withstand anything, even time itself. ON HOLD

Fallen: Bucky Barnes x Fallen Angel! Female Reader- The new Avengers recruit has many secrets, one of which Bucky is desperate to discover. COMPLETE

Soldiers: The Winter Soldier a.k.a Bucky Barnes x Hydra!Female Agent: Voin and Soldat were Hydra's greatest weapons. As they become close, Voin is burdened by the weight of being the one who causes Soldat his worst pain. ON HOLD.

Teach Me: Bucky Barnes X Female!Reader- You're a little inexperienced when it comes to sex, so Bucky offers to help give you a few pointers. It was supposed to be strictly professional, no feelings attached. Yeah, right.-ON GOING

Memory Lane: Widowed! Single Dad! Bucky Barnes x Female Neighbor!Reader-Your car being stolen, your apartment being broken into, and you being fired from your job were at the top of the list of things going wrong with your life. Needing a fresh start somewhere new, you ask for a sign on what to do. You then find an open magazine on the floor showcasing a house for sale a few hours away in a quiet neighborhood called Memory Lane. So, you pack up your entire life ready to start over and focus on yourself, not expecting to fall for your new next door neighbor. Bucky's wife died eight months ago, leaving him behind with their four year old daughter, Olive. Life as not only a widow but a single dad was hard, something he was trying to figure out on his own, but he would do it for his daughter. He made a promise to his wife that he would never fall in love again because she was his soulmate. But when someone moves in next door, Bucky finds it harder to keep that promise.-ON GOING

The Void: Thunderbolts!Bucky Barnes x BlackWidow!Enhanced!Reader- Hydra used her as a weapon, then, becoming one of the original widows, Zima was ready to live the rest of her days in hiding. When someone from her Red Room past comes looking to cash in on a favor, she has no choice but to strap up to face this new enemy threatening New York. Even if one of the people asking for her help was the one who trained her in Hydra, the one whom she swore she would kill the next time she saw him.The Winter Soldier.The only problem? Bucky doesn't remember her.-ON GOING.

Your Camera Roll Dating Bucky Barnes: ONE |

Day at the fair that ends in a motorcycle ride

Wedding Day

NSFW Pictures: ONE |

Christmas Surprise

Mask Kink

Bucky Has A Nightmare

Cock Warming

Beach Day

Winter Solider Makes You Ride His Knife

A Smutty Night With Bucky

Smut With 1940's Bucky

Hide and Fuck

Bucky Can't Sleep Next To You Anymore

Computer Chair Smut

Bucky Realizes He's In Love

Soldat Was Sent To Destroy You

Birthday Smut

Thigh Riding

Bucky Wakes You Up On Your Birthday

"Just Neighbors" with Bucky

Bucky Can't Keep His Hands Off Of You

Bucky In The Void-Part One | Part Two | Part Three-coming soon

Soldat Brands You

Dark!Bucky Helps Unleash Something Inside of You

Bucky Says He Loves You for the First Time

Thunderbolts!Bucky Reminds You Who You Belong To

Soulmates: Growing up, reader had been told stories about how you would dream your soulmates memories, something you never believed in. That was until someone new moves in next door and nightmares plague you every night.

Truth: A next door neighbor bound with secrets; one of which nearly breaks you from the inside out.

Besplatno: Bucky needed to make sure he was free from Soldat before continuing on his life with his dorogaya.[Takes place inbetween my series Dorogaya and Vaz Prizrak]

[nebuladreamerrr]

My biggest fan| Kylian Mbappé x Fem Reader

REQUEST: what about the reader who is a famous model, kylian’s wife and of course everyone’s fav wag supports kylian at the euro but he didn’t win so she comforts him in the stadium around everyone and every medias, days later they pack their things, kylian is still sad but feeling better with the help of the reader and then in the summer they move in their new house in Madrid and live their best lives

Summary: After a long and challenging year full of numerous changes, a relaxing vacation is exactly what this couple needs before facing a wave of new emotions.

Warnings: English is not my first language

As you looked at yourself in the mirror, you couldn’t help but mentally go over all the steps of your skincare routine: the cleansing gel, the exfoliant, the toner, the serum, and more. Today was a very important day for Kylian, and what made it even more special was that you could be there to watch him play.

This year had been chaotic, but you were completely grateful. You had improved a lot as a person, learning to handle situations that would have made you collapse before. Professionally, it had also been a success: you modeled for Paris Fashion Week, showcasing Christian Dior designs, and for New York Fashion Week, walking for Michael Kors.

The most important thing was that you had achieved a balance between your personal and professional life. Starting to model in your teens has affected many of your relationships, as you couldn’t dedicate as much time to friends and partners as other young people. Many people didn’t understand this. However, since you met Kylian, everything was different. Both of you understood that you were young and needed to make the most of your careers to enjoy the future.

To manage your schedules, you marked the busy days on the calendar with different colors: neon blue for your photo shoots or interviews, coral for the weeks of fashion shows, green for Kylian’s training sessions or advertising campaigns, red for the events of his association that helps children, and yellow for match days, adorned with a small star if they were played away. This way, you could easily see the free days to have dinner, go out with friends, or enjoy each other’s company while watching a fun series on Netflix.

Additionally, you tried to attend each other’s events whenever possible. You often stayed to watch many of Kylian’s training sessions while chatting with the wives of his friends, and Kylian did everything he could to be present at your fashion shows. Although he knew there would be numerous photos on the Internet, he wanted to take his pictures to show you later.

Throughout the year, you had learned to appreciate the small moments together, even if they were few and far between. From homemade dinners to deep conversations about your dreams and fears, every shared moment was invaluable. And although both of you had full schedules, you knew that love and mutual support were the keys to moving forward.

Looking at yourself in the mirror one last time, you felt a surge of emotion and gratitude. You were ready to face the day. Quickly, you put your items in your bag —your phone, lipstick, and a small perfume— and headed to the wardrobe to grab your husband’s jersey and put it on before heading to the stadium.

When you arrived at the stadium, you could feel the tension in the air. As you reached the seats reserved for you, you couldn’t help but look around to take in the atmosphere. What you loved most about the Euro Cup was, undoubtedly, the affection among the fans. With a smile, you noticed some French fans hugging each other minutes before the match started.

Nervous and a bit restless, you sat down to wait for the French team to take the field for warm-ups. You smiled as you saw Kylian, looking anxious, glancing towards the stands while doing the exercises his trainer was instructing him to do. You could see his face light up with satisfaction and calm when he managed to spot you among the crowd and blew you a big kiss.

This gesture did not go unnoticed by the cameras. From the moment you made your relationship public, the cameras took a keen interest in you both. Perhaps it was because neither Kylian nor you had publicly acknowledged any previous relationships, but although at first, many people labeled you as a "fame-seeker" and "gold digger," gradually the fans began to appreciate you and fall in love with your relationship. Every time you checked your social media, you would get notifications of edits people made about you and your relationship. Often, when you went to the stadium, nervous girls would approach you asking for a photo, and you always excitedly agreed.

The excitement increased as the match was about to begin. The national anthems resonated in the stadium, and the energy of the fans filled the air. As you watched Kylian on the field, feeling the pride and love you had for him, you prepared to savor every second of this special day.

You were very excited because you knew that this day was the first time Kylian could play without a mask. Although he was still anxious and feared the possibility of getting hit, you knew that this motivated him to be a better version of himself and, above all, gave him the confidence needed for France to claim victory.

The match had barely started when you felt a rush of excitement seeing Randal Kolo score the first goal. The French team was revitalized, filled with hopes that this cup would return home. However, Spain quickly scored two goals, significantly demotivating the French team. While you were thrilled at the idea of Kylian lifting this well-deserved cup, you were especially worried seeing him nervous and scared on the field, trying to create opportunities to avoid the inevitable criticisms he would receive.

No doubt, what you liked least about football was how quickly people forgot their favorite players' struggles and still judged them harshly. Kylian hadn’t had an easy season, and everyone was fully aware of it. Saying goodbye to PSG had been a relief, and although Kylian had improved considerably in many aspects, he knew he wasn’t in his best physical shape. He had spent a lot of time on the bench this season, and despite his determination to improve, he couldn’t prevent Spain’s victory.

Knowing the wave of criticism your partner was about to face, you decided to use the VIP pass Kylian had given you at the beginning of the tournament to get down to the field. Once you saw him congratulating his rivals and wishing them luck for the final, you approached him and wrapped your arms around his waist.

"Y/N, amour," he responded, giving a little jump, as he didn’t expect your presence.

"Shhh, you know everything will be fine and that many people are proud of you," you whispered as you turned him so he could look at you.

"It’s been a tough year," he replied sadly.

"Not every year is good, Kyky. It’s been a challenging year and still, you’ve managed to exceed the expectations many had of you," you said, causing a slight smile to appear on his face.

"Thank you so much for all your support, amour," he responded before kissing you and wrapping his arm around your shoulders, leading you towards the stadium tunnel.

This action did not go unnoticed. Excited fans managed to capture images of the couple at the moment, and the paparazzi sighed excitedly while quickly taking photos, trying to capture every moment as you walked away. In those moments, you knew that despite the challenges, you would always be there to support him, and together you would face whatever came your way, building a life filled with love and understanding.

You had only been back in your home in Paris for a few days, and although both of you had planned to wait and organize the move before going on vacation, you knew that what both Kylian and you needed most was a vacation, so you gradually convinced your husband to move the vacation dates up.

The vacation couldn’t have been more relaxing for both of you. Since you started dating, the United States has become your favorite vacation destination. Although you didn’t go completely unnoticed, there were noticeably fewer people paying attention to your presence, allowing you to enjoy relative tranquility.

However, these vacations weren’t entirely easy. Kylian was still worried about not meeting the expectations of the fans of the Madrid team, and much of your time was dedicated to eliminating those negative thoughts from his mind. You designed a variety of plans to help him relax and enjoy. You prepared delicious recipes with exotic ingredients, organized long massage sessions with essential oils, and planned surprise dates that enhanced the love you both felt for each other.

By the end of the vacation, Kylian not only felt more motivated by the new stage ahead but also felt deeply loved. He had learned to value even more your unconditional support and love, remembering that, as in any solid relationship, "you must remain faithful even in times of adversity."

The time together in the United States had strengthened your bond. You enjoyed sunset walks on the beach, explored new cities, and got lost in long conversations that reminded you why you fell in love in the first place. You shared laughs, adventures, and most importantly, moments of peace that became a refuge amid the storm of public life.

As the vacation came to an end, you both knew you were ready to face the challenges ahead. Kylian, renewed and full of energy, was determined to prove his worth on the field, while you were prepared to support him every step of the way. Together, you faced the future with the certainty that, no matter what happens in this new adventure in Madrid, you will always have each other.

[weirdmorefics]

bridgerton sister ran away just before the beginning of her season and discovered by Colin in St Petersburg under a fake identity and bought back home

The Familiar Barmaid

x bridgerton!sister

Pronouns- She/her

Warning- Mother issues

Word Count- 933

Summary- The reader wants to be an author, but unfortunately, she has a season to get back to.

Y/n Bridgerton had never dreamed of being married like her other sisters (Eloise excluded). Y/n loved reading, she imagined her own stories and stashed her written stories under her bed. She craved to be an author like the ones who made the books she admired. Her mother however had other plans for her since day one; come out, become the diamond of the season, and be courted by a handsome gentleman I loved who hopefully had an amazing title. I never craved that life I much preferred to live in the fantasy worlds I created in my head. This leads us to my escape from the Bridgerton household the night before my season.

I had packed the most important things to me; my writings, my favorite books, and the leftover money I had been saving from my gown fittings. I quietly took my horse out of the stable at night and rode the horse to a place no one would know Y/n Bridgerton.

I rode my horse for as far as she could go taking breaks in dingy inns that my Mother wouldn't dare to step foot in. By the time I was in St Petersburg, I was already short on funds. It was a better place to settle than most it had gorgeous views and so many new things to write about. As luck would have it the bar in town was looking for a barmaid. Unfortunately, the bar owner could tell very easily that I had no experience. Shockingly he gave me a chance! He said I reminded him of his daughter who recently married so her room above the bar was also available. It felt like fate like I had been sucked into my very own fantasy book.

I spent my days writing in the nearby park and the nights dealing with town drunks. Honestly, they weren't too bad just demanding their drinks. I learned quickly and I became their favorite barmaid only because I made the drinks the fastest but it still made me feel accomplished. It was a bittersweet feeling to have the town drunks appreciate me more than my mother but at least I was appreciated.

I felt true relief once the season was over no longer worried they would find me and make me a last-minute entry. The bar was just closing and I was washing the grimy tables when the chime of the door startled me. The man was bundled his scarf nearly covering his whole face.

I turned to him and frowned politely "I am so sorry sir we are just closing."

The man gasps once he hears me speak "Y/N?"

I quickly back up accidentally sending a chair to the ground with a loud thud, "I think you have the wrong woman sir."

My boss exits the backroom at the commotion, "This fella bothering you Rose?"

"Are you serious Y/n? Rose? Be a little more original," the man unwraps his scarf and my fists immediately tighten.

"Colin, what are you doing here?" I practically growl.

"You know this man Rose? Seems a little too uptight for you, but I am not here to judge your taste in suitors." My boss chuckles finding his comment hilarious.

Colin gags, "That is my little sister I'll have you know! And I am bringing you right home Mother has been worried sick about you!"

I roll my eyes "She probably did not even know about my absence until Lady Whistledown announced it. How did she cover it up? Am I in the States visiting my cousins?"Colin's face turns beat red which tells me I am right.

Colin tries to change the subject, "Your sisters miss you dearly, Daphne was devasted you were not there for her wedding."

I gasped, "Daphne is already married! The season just ended!"

Colin rubbed his arm, "There were a lot of issues with this season Y/n… honestly we all could have used some of that Y/n wisdom. I especially could have used some of that wisdom." He mumbled the last part seeming very embarrassed to admit it.

"Oh, Colin… I am so sorry. I miss my siblings all dearly but I am not meant for the home carer life. I am meant to be out there writing about anything I can get my hands on." I gesture to the world around me.

"That is one good thing about your departure, no one thinks you are Lady WhistleDown anymore," He smirks.

"Oh what a pity I did like causing fear and scaring the men off with the promise to write about them," I smile.

Colin sighs, "I will make you a deal Y/n, travel with me during my studies. You can explore the world that way, but you must write to Mother and the rest of your siblings and let them know you are safe."

"You know she or Anthony will just drag me back home," I frown.

"Not with me by your side, I am sure I can convince Anthony and she can convince Mama." He smiles as the plan begins to form in his head.

I smiley widely, "You have yourself a deal Colin Bridgerton."

He smiles back as my boss lets out a few stray tears, "You truly are just like my daughter, just as stubborn and hot-headed. Be sure to visit your welcome back anytime."

I gave him a side hug, "Oh boss you big old softie."

Colin laughs, "Y/n you are truly something."

"Why thank you," I take a bow. "Shall we take our leave?"

"We shall," Colin smiles.

[autumnslance]

G'raha's Leadership in the Final Days

Finally got PunchyCat to the Final Days, and while we often speak to the big cutscene where G'raha "goes into Exarch mode" and takes command in the chaos, before that he and the WoL run around Radz-at-Han investigating the Blasphemy, and even there, G'raha's many years as Exarch really show through in how he interacts with the traumatized and terrified people.

Rahdvira: Sisters have mercy, what is happening to the world!? What am I to do…? Is nowhere safe!? G'raha Tia: Settle down, friend. The danger has passed…at least for now. If it's not too painful to remember, could you tell us what you saw?

and at the end of the man's tale:

G'raha Tia: That is enough, my good man. You were brave to share with us your tale. Many of your fellow merchants are safe. The High Crucible, too, has survived mostly unscathed. Pray stay close to your friends and loved ones, and rest your body and mind while you are able. G'raha Tia: I suspect that is the most we can expect the people here to tell us. I think it best we find a place outside the bazaar where we might rest and review our findings.

Choosing to Speak with G'raha...

G'raha Tia: It might distress those still traumatized by the incident to discuss what we've learned within earshot…

He also remembers the details of how WoL knew Khalzahl (thanks to that great memory of his, hearing the reports of the first trip to Thavnair). As Mihleel is shaken by remembering the terror erupting at her tables, however...

G'raha Tia: Forgive me. I would not have you recall the memory if it brings you pain. If I could, I would ask just one more thing.

After getting directions to Khalzahl's neighborhood, WoL and G'raha question an older woman:

Mahti: I don't travel much these days, but my daughter's told me not to venture outside. Stuck in here as I am, I've heard little about these bizarre goings-on. G'raha Tia: Rest assured, the city is safe for now, but the situation may change without warning. G'raha Tia: I urge you: stay close to your daughter, and be prepared to take refuge should the satrap order it. Mahti: Yes, I shall do just that. Thank you for your concern, and pray stay safe as well.

And then the sleepy Arkasodara down the street:

Parigha: Hmmm…? Could you come back another time? I just woke up, and I'm not exactly in the mood for idle chitchat. G'raha Tia: Well, that's one way to avoid the panic, I suppose… G'raha Tia: Pardon our intrusion. You may not have noticed, but a great danger has come to Thavnair. I encourage you to stay alert, and prepare to flee the city should the situation turn dire. G'raha Tia: But before we leave you in peace…pray allow us to ask a question or two.

And finally, when dealing with Djinabaha at Ruveydah Fibers, helping the employees pack things away before he'd even talk, G'raha finishes with this as we go on to the next quest (and Ahewann's fate).

G'raha Tia: My friend, we must take our leave. I pray that your establishment is spared further tragedy. But remember: your lives are far more precious than any wares. If you are ordered to flee, do so without hesitation. Djinabaha: Indeed… I thank you for your concern, and pray you two take care as well.

G'raha knows how to talk to people shaken by disaster, calming and reassuring, and giving them clear advice and action to take to keep themselves safe. It's a handy precursor to his taking command in the next cutscene, reminding us that he is, unfortunately, all too familiar with events similar to these, and this steadiness, thoughtfulness, and concern comes from too many years of practice.

[notes-of-nari]

Stray Kids as the Friendly Ghost

I.N •You were intrigued for many years about the mysterious boy who lives in your twin house. You have seen him randomly either in your shared garden or at the doorstep of his side of the house. Even though you had always wanted to strike up a conversation with him you always decided to do it later because you were afraid that you might embarrass yourself by going there and stuttering (cause you knew pretty well that you were most probably having a crush on him)

•Speaking about crush, it all comes crashing down when you tell a friend of yours about him and she goes on to reveal that the other side of your twin house is actually empty?? You don't believe it until a little call to the person who sold you the side of your house reveals that the other side is indeed empty.

•however when you walk back home you find him sitting on the swing in your shared garden his eyes closed as he silently seems to sing along to a song that plays from his headphones.

•You trip on a stone and nearly fall. He opens an eye and looks at you and notices you look at him. His eyes widen in surprise as his palm flies towards his mouth. he then runs towards his side of the house.

•Your mind is completely in turmoil as you wonder who this mysterious person is. After a sleepless night, you decide to find out the truth for yourself. So you march up to his side of the house and loudly knock on the door. You earn a few suspicious glances from your neighbours but no one answers the door. •You wonder if studying too much has made you go crazy and see things. But this guy was your crush! Is his presence also like your non existent love life?

•However your efforts are fruitful. One day as you stand at his doorstep ready to knock on his door,he opens the door right at that moment. "oh hii" you greet him and his eyes widen again before he shuts the door right in your face. "rude.." you mutter before he opens the door again and looks at you in disbelief. "you can see me?" he asks. "yeah" you shrug. "no wayyy...no.." •you notice a few tears falling down his eyes as he suddenly hugs you. He seems to be shaking as he sobs. You are frozen unable to understand what's happening but you pat his back hoping he would calm down. • "No freaking wayyyy" It is now your time to express your disbelief as he reveals that he is a ghost? He introduces himself as Jeongin. • You are soon able to accept that he is indeed a ghost. (rip your non existent love life/and crush) • Even though you both were awkward at first after some time you both become good friends. However a few days later you wake up to find seven ghosts glaring at you. "If you hurt him we will kill you" One of them threatens while holding a knife at your direction. "No minho is just joking. we won't kill you but please take care of Jeongin yeah?.." the ghost with an Australian accent says before he pulls his friend away and the seven of them disappear.

•"Jeongin the ghost" as you now fondly call him ,drags you on his random late night walks as he explores various parts of your little town. •Judges your fashion taste like Anton ego judges food. What kind of garbage are you wearing in this household? This is uhh a hoodie.. skirt and trousers.". Shakes his head in disappointment while mumbling something that sounds like "looks like a Disney series came to life"

•you wake up one day with a whole fashion critic report on your bedside table. you only have three black hoodies,two jeans,one skirt,and 2 black tee shirts? Let's go shopping bitch.

•Every messy person like you who has a gold fish memory deserves a friend like him. "Did you see my note book?" "You left it on the chair" "Did I visit the doctor last month" "yes you did..you even brought a guide to crocheting on the way back here" " oh shit I forgot that I brought such a book" "jeongin did you take my chocolate chip tart?" "You ate it last Sunday remember?" •Helps you pack your clothes for your three day college trip.But he literally overpacks amidst your protests. "come on jeongin it's just a three day educational trip. I don't need 5 t shirts" He is not pleased about the fact that you removed all the extra clothes he had packed for you. So later that night when you are asleep he adds all those clothes back into your suitcase. Fast forward- 1st day of the trip night, you open your suitcase to find a whole ton of clothes. "YANG JEONGIN!!!!!" ------The ghost who is chilling back at home suddenly sneezes. "I guess she is thanking me for adding the extra clothes" He smiles and shrugs. •If you need someone's true and honest opinion on anything he is the number one choice. No sugar coating just the honest hard truth. •When you ask him if he can help you with your college assignments, "do i look like someone who survived past the 1st year of college?" he deadpans before disappearing. • He gifts you with a pair of shoes and a cake on your birthday. You are so happy and grateful so you try to hug him. But he runs away out of your reach. "come on dude let me hug you once.." "no" he runs around the house ( he doesn't disappear like usual though?) "you hugged me first" you remind him of the day he hugged you after he realized that you could see him. "that was a one time thing" he shouts as he leaps away from your reach. BangChan / Lee Know / Changbin / Hyunjin /Han Jisung / Felix/ Seungmin

[born-to-lose-writing]

Kids! Do You Want Kids

Pairing: Pete Townshend x fem!reader

Requested by anon

Summary: You and Pete are expecting your first baby.

Tags: fluff, pregnancy, implied smut, referenced past abuse

Words: 2,736

A/N: First time writing for Pete! I'm only about 100 pages into his biography, so I'm kinda rawdogging it. Hope you like it!

“Heartbeats? Plural? There’s more than one?” Pete chipped in, leaning forward in his chair.

When you had gone to the doctor, your problem was your daily sickness that wouldn't go away no matter how many home remedies you tried. After a month and the lack of your last two periods setting in, you thought it was time to see a professional. Your life hadn't been stressful enough to just skip your menstruation and you were otherwise healthy if it wasn't for the nausea.

The doctor confirmed and congratulated you and Pete. There were many thoughts going around your head, so you hoped Pete was listening attentively because you weren't.

When you left the office, there was some silence until you got into the car and your husband smiled excitedly. “We're going to be parents!”

You nodded, matching his smile. You were truly happy about it, you were simply surprised because except for a few conversations before you had gotten married about whether you both even wanted children in the future, you hadn't planned anything. Still, you felt like you were ready for it now.

“Yes! But let's not tell anyone yet, we'll surprise them,” you suggested. “I don't want our friends to know when we haven't fully processed it ourselves.”

“As you wish, angel,” he agreed, cupping your cheek and kissing you deeply before starting the car.

At home, Pete started making a list of things to do now that your situation had shifted quite a bit and you were to welcome a new family member in half a year. Then he made more elaborate lists for each of the points on the first list. Decorating the nursery, buying clothes and toys, making the house child-safe, preparing the dog, buying a child car seat, packing your hospital bag…

He also wanted to make a list of possible names, but you gently reminded him that there would be enough time to think about that later. Until you came up with a name, it would simply be “baby”.

Pete's excitement was contagious and reminded you once again of his enthusiasm being one of the many reasons why you loved him. However, as you were beginning to seriously prepare and realized how high the level of responsibility was going to be for the two of you, his worries set in. He didn't have doubts about keeping the baby – he didn't want you to have an abortion like his mother used to get and he was looking forward to having a family of his own – but he doubted whether he would be a good father himself.

“I'm afraid of being a dad,” he admitted one evening while you were lying in bed, his head on your chest, “because of how my dad was with me… He wasn't bad, but he was drunk most of the time and wasn’t supportive when I wanted to start making music. And I told you about my time with Denny…”

His voice cracked at the last sentence and you quickly caressed his cheek in comfort. You didn't want him to think about that now. He avoided talking about the dark times he had spent with her and not even you knew the full story – in fact, you were glad he had suppressed some of those memories – but what he had shared with you was horrible enough. His parents splitting up when he had been very young and never hearing from his father while Pete had lived with Denny certainly hadn't helped.

“You’ll be a great dad,” you reassured him, locking your fingers with his. “You told me you liked looking after your little brother, that's a good basis for parenting. You aren't Denny and you aren't your dad. You don't have to repeat their mistakes.”

“Thank you, love,” he said quietly, kissing your inner wrist. “I'll try my best.”

The next day, he was back in the happy dad-to-be mode and took you to go shopping for toys and baby clothes. While you were buying the same blue and white striped romper in two different sizes with matching blue shoes and a tiny hat, Pete found the most adorable teddy bear, a wooden rattle and a mobile with sun, moon and stars. Before the arrival of the little one, you would definitely come back to buy more, but this was good for a start.

Conveniently, your fairly new house had two extra rooms you had no real use for as of now. You decided to turn one of them – the one across the hall from your bedroom – into the child's room.

Everything you needed to renovate the nursery you had bought together and you had discussed the colour scheme beforehand, but as Pete didn't want you to get sick from the paint fumes, he sent you to go out with your friends for the day while he painted the walls.

You thoroughly enjoyed spending a whole day with your girlfriends – not that your husband kept you hidden away at all. The one thing you found increasingly difficult to hide was the fact that you were pregnant. Eventually, one of them discreetly asked, “Are you and Pete planning to have kids anytime soon?”

At that point, you couldn't hold back anymore and grinned, drawing out your answer, “Yes.”

Naturally, they had to celebrate loudly, ordering a round of dessert, and it was only a matter of time until people you hadn't even told would start congratulating you and Pete.

When you came home, you had the biggest smile on your face and Pete stepped out of the room he had been working on, mirroring your smile. “Did you have fun?” he asked, bending forward to kiss you with his hands held up in the air because he had some paint on his fingers.

“Yes! How is the nursery coming along?” You peeked past the door, noticing a few details he had felt free to add and nodding approvingly. This proved once more that Ealing hadn't been a waste of time. “I love it, Pete.”

After letting the paint dry for another day, you continued decorating. While Pete was putting together and moving the furniture, you started to knit a little blanket with the softest yarn you could find when you had gone shopping for baby clothes. You sat in an armchair he had put in the room first this morning so you could have a say in where to place what without having to stand for too long.

Over the course of the afternoon, you asked several times if you could help because he sometimes looked confused trying to figure out what size of screws belonged where in the chest of drawers, but he declined every time, insisting that he's fine and you shouldn't strain yourself.

“The crib under the window? Or next to it?” he asked, shoving it back and forth to show you the difference.

“Next to it,” you replied after a moment of thinking. “That way we don't have to bend over it to open the window.”

“That’s what I thought,” he smiled and looked down on your lap to see how far you had come with the blanket.

You noticed and proudly held it up. “Like it? I thought it would suit the colour of the nursery.”

Pete nodded quickly before asking shyly, “Can you… make a matching larger one after this is finished? For us two?”

“Aw of course, darling!” You stood up and wrapped your arms around his spindly figure. He wiped some sweat off his forehead with his sleeve and hugged you back, kissing your head as he rubbed your back.

Then the doorbell rang and he let go to answer. Shortly after, he returned with a small gift basket in his hand, equipped with a bottle of expensive red wine, and leaned against the windowsill to read the card that came with it.

“For the last set of Who parents. Love, Keith.” Pete read, shaking his head in disbelief. “This idiot gifted us a wine bottle to congratulate us on the baby.”

You simply chuckled. “What did you expect? It's Keith, we can be glad he didn't give us cherry bombs and a box of matches.”

“When it's old enough maybe,” Pete sighed before adding after a pause, “How did he even know? We haven't seen him together since we found out.”

“Well…” you admitted, feeling a little guilty because you had been the one who told him to keep it secret for now in the first place, “I told my friends because they asked me the other day. The news must have circulated.”

Pete smiled and kissed your cheek. “God, at least now I can finally say there's a reason why I've been in such a good mood. Roger must think I started popping pills before work again.”

“We can still surprise them next time,” you said half-jokingly, turning to kiss his lips.

“Next time?” He raised his eyebrows, secretly not completely turned off by the idea. After all, there was a second spare room. “Let's see how we can handle the first one.”

During this time, Pete liked to talk to the baby on a regular basis, often singing to it and showing it songs he had been working on. Although it couldn't respond yet, it was a nice way to share a piece of what he did for a living with your baby while entertaining it.

Pete laid on his back with his head on your lap and strumming the guitar. While playing, he turned his head to sing to the baby. At the end of the song, he rested his cheek against your bump, stroking it with his hand. “Was that a kick? It felt like a kick!” he asked excitedly, looking up at you with a wide smile.

You nodded, running your hand through his hair. “The baby likes when you sing to it.”

He leaned into your touch and started talking to the baby. “We’re so excited for you to arrive, little one. You're the size of a guinea pig now!”

“Probably bigger if you take after your giraffe-sized dad,” you teased and Pete tried to playfully glare at you but failed as he started to laugh.

“Probably bigger if you take after me, says your mum. She loves me for it, though,” he winked. “We're decorating your nursery right now. We hope you like the colours orange and yellow.”

Smiling at his excitement, you continued playing with his hair. You loved that he was letting it grow out along with the stubble he had usually shaved to look smooth. While talking, Pete's fingers lightly traced your stretch marks, stopping every now and then to kiss them.

When you had first noticed them, you had been frustrated and tried to hide them with your clothes even around the house, but Pete quickly caught on to your issue and made sure to show you on any given occasion that he genuinely liked how they looked on you. At the beginning, you had thought he was just trying to cheer you up, but you had grown to believe he meant it.

“Well, baby, you're probably overwhelmed by how much I talk and I'm afraid it will get even worse when you're here” he chuckled. “Until then, take it easy on your mama, it's not her fault. Take a nap, mum and I will be a little busy now anyway.”

You grinned and tugged at his hair. “You better not have the talk with it now when its peers will only get it in 15 years.”

“I just said we'll be busy,” he said, raising his hands in defense. “Doing the laundry or reading, for example. Or buying groceries.”

“And here I thought we would do something behind closed curtains,” you sighed, shaking your head in disappointment and crossing your arms.

Pete got up and pulled the curtains closed before returning to you, kneeling between your legs and sliding his hands up your thighs under your dress. “You mean like this?” he asked, placing his hands beside your shoulders and leaning in to kiss you.

You grabbed his face and pulled him in for a passionate kiss, resisting the urge to push his body down on you with the heel of your foot. “Close enough. Go wild, I'm already pregnant,” you laughed and he didn't need to be told twice as he shuffled to be on head-level with your hips again.

When it came to your strange food cravings, Pete readily cooked for you or helped you cook if it was something you wanted to make yourself. Either way, he didn't bat an eye – actually, he did at especially weird snacks, but he understood it was your hormones – and ate most things you ate too. He could eat as much as he wanted to without significantly gaining weight and he considered it a form of quality time as he didn't want you to feel alone when you had those cravings.

“Your child's been kicking me all day,” you groaned when Pete came home from the studio and stepped into the kitchen.

“Oh, so now it's my child?”

“Well, you put it in me, didn't you?” you teased.

He walked up to you and hugged you from behind, his hands slowly moving up and down your bump. “That's right,” he murmured proudly, pulling the collar of your blouse to the side to kiss your neck and shoulder.

“Can't keep your hands away, can you?” you asked, closing your eyes and turning off the tap.

“Why would I when you're always so damn pretty and with my baby in you?” One of his hands slid up to your cleavage and you turned around, leaning against the edge of the counter and biting your bottom lip in excitement.

You loved how Pete never made you feel like he didn't want you anymore even after you had become bigger. In fact, you liked to joke that he wouldn't want you when you weren't pregnant anymore. While it helped you with your higher than normal libido, it could also get tiring on days when he was especially attracted to you. If he continued like this until the end of your third trimester, you would end up accidentally inducing labour.

Time passed and things got more serious, so now you were just waiting until your packed hospital bag would be needed. The nursery was ready, including toys, framed pictures and a wardrobe of clothes that were so adorably tiny you couldn't wait to dress the little one in them.

Everyone in your social circle knew you were expecting and while you didn't throw a party or were planning to have one after the birth, your family and friends had visited you at one point or another to bring little gifts for the baby or simply offer a helping hand if needed.

You had also picked out names for both genders and written them down in case your minds went blank in the moment.

“Do you want it to be a boy or a girl?” you asked, lying next to him with his arm around your shoulder.

“I'll be happy with either, as long as it vaguely resembles me,” he replied, his lips curling into a smile as he tugged at your knitted blanket to cover both of you.

“I hope it has your nose,” you said.

“Oh no, anything but that,” he chuckled. “Eyes or lips would be fine, or even cheekbones.”

You lifted your head and looked into his beautiful blue eyes. “Eyes would be nice, yeah. But I really think your nose is pretty.”

Pete scrunched up his nose as you kissed it, but then he smiled. “Thank you, love. However, it would win the genetic lottery if it looked much like you.”

“In that case, it better have your talent.” You smiled and cupped his face, kissing him softly. He wanted to hold you tightly, but in fear of crushing the baby, he gently placed his hands on your sides.

“I can't believe these six months passed so quickly,” Pete said, sounding fascinated yet a little sad.

“Don't worry, soon comes the part when we actually get to spend time with our child,” you pointed out. “And we'll have at least 18 years of that, isn't that something?”

“I can't wait. I love you.” He reached down to stroke your belly with a big smile. “And you too.”

[yiga-hellhole]

hiii i was going to make more of these but i realized i cant be arsed for all of them in one big batch. anyway @smilesrobotlover thank you bestie for reminding me this template exists. too bad there isnt a slider for "beats the other up - is beaten up" because you know the boys are FIGHTINGGGG

some rambling under the cut

big spoon and little spoon is a straightforward one because well, you're not going to get a bigger damn spoon than zant. he's massive. but sometimes even he likes feeling small and cared for, so they're not beyond having him fold his spindly limbs up like he's a dead spider and let ghirahim scoop him into his arms

i don't see them as a big "sharing clothes" type of couple. ghirahim's are far too small for him and his wardrobe flusters zant to no end. inversely, ghirahim wouldn't be caught dead in most of zant's things. but zant would find a lot of enjoyment in giving him clothes

pet names, ghirahim has like 2~3 for zant that he uses, and they're never particularly sappy or anything. zant however makes up new ones every other day. he's sick in the head

introverted-extroverted scale is a little complicated because ghirahim strikes me as more ambiverted. he's well-versed socially and loves attention, specifically loves bullying people, but after spending so long in solitude without proper peers, i think being alone has grown rather comforting for him too. who knows how it'll pack out when he has more like-minded individuals around him? i'm not sure yet.

for love-language, like i said, ghirahim isn't very sappy. he's far more touchy-feely in that aspect where he will just grab and kiss and tease when he feels the need. zant is a solid 50-50 because he loves being touched but also makes up sappy little nicknames on the spot or a long-winded declaration of love to the point it starts getting a little annoying. he's just kind of intense.

confession... well ghirahim would be quick to start doing things that typically denote a couple, but leaves it up to zant to actually officiate the whole thing. partly because he has issues. but also because he loves any chance at making him flustered (issues... 2!)

i don't think either of them are scared of bugs. but ghirahim is callous in getting rid of them and zant will just add them to his personal collection if he can catch em

twili society is rather high-tech. they probably have vehicles of some kind, and zant strikes me as the kind of guy who can drive. irresponsibly, i'll grant, but he'll do it. ghirahim would know how, but he refuses to. he's spoiled like that

the cooking one is funny because anyone in my server will know about the 'zant meal' phenomenon. he can cook, at least to keep himself alive, but the things he makes are horrifying to witness. unprecedented flavor profiles and chaotic execution. just don't worry about it. ghirahim, meanwhile, has a built-in chemical compendium and a heat sensor. theoretically he'd make an excellent cook and baker. he just doesn't want to.

zant loves affection, but is a very private person. he knows ghirahim is very showy and obnoxious, so if he lets him get away with slobbering his face even once, he;d have to deal with it every single hour of the day. and that'd embarrass him!!

theyre BOTH overprotective. it's a problem. though, zant in the sense of, "i want him to be all mine, i want to be all he thinks about, i want him by my side every minute of the day", and ghirahim in the sense of, livestock guard dog with spiked collar to murder wolves.

ghirahim has more relationship experience in that he's met many faces in his millennia of living.... but this kind of romantic intimacy is unknown to him. the whole song-and-dance of courtship he knows, but genuine love, he doesn't. zant had one FWB in college that he fell in fairy-tale love with and planned their wedding in his head after one (1) kiss. needless to say when that guy broke up wih him he was very normal.

i think the horny-awkwardness-jealousy levels speak for themselves.

[lucy90712]

hey can u write angst with fermin?

I moved to Barcelona a few months ago but I've been so busy that I've barely explored the city my days have consisted of going to classes then going to my internship with a big law firm and then on the weekends I'm also at my internship as I truly want to learn as much as possible about what it's like to be a lawyer. Today however I actually have a day off so I'm going to explore all the tourist attractions in Barcelona and take in the city I now live in. My friends and coworkers have given me recommendations so my schedule is packed today but that's how I like things to be I love being busy. 

The first places I was told to visit was camp nou and the Barcelona training ground so that's where I went. I'm not hugely into football because my ex from a few years ago used to play and we broke up because he wanted to focus on his playing career so I’ve avoided football as not to be reminded of that time. As much as he has put me off football I feel like being here is as good a reason as any to get back into it seeing as the football team is so important to the city. My plan was to just look around as much as I was allowed to but when I arrived at the stadium they were doing tours so I took the opportunity to have a guided tour. The whole place was so cool and they had so many trophies and pictures from history and they had pictures of all the players now most of which I didn't recognise but there was a few that my friends had mentioned to me. 

After the tour I was really hungry as the tour took longer than expected so I found a little cafe nearby to stop at. Luckily it wasn't too busy there was only a few people in there and then one guy came in after me. Once I ordered I looked at the guy who walked in behind me and if I had my drink I would've spit it out because I recognised him straight away as one of the Barcelona players on the wall. I couldn't remember which one he was so I frantically searched Instagram then found out his name was Gavi which is one of the players my friends have mentioned as they think he's hot. I can't lie he's definitely attractive but he's a famous footballer so I'll just admire him from a distance. I was minding my own business until Gavi moved closer to me and started talking to me. 

"Hi I'm Pablo sorry to disturb you it's just you're so beautiful but I don't recognise you have you recently moved here?" He asked 

"Hey I'm y/n I moved here a few months ago but this is my first free day to explore" I said trying not to freak out 

"Well I'm glad you chose to come here can I get your number or your Instagram or something and maybe I can show you around at some point" he said 

I gave him my number and my Instagram and then we both went on our way. 

Fermin's POV 

Gavi came into the locker room with the coffee he always gets us both before training but this time he had a big smile on his face bigger than usual. Something had definitely happened before he got here and if I had to guess I think he met a girl that he likes because he has the same smile as the one other time this happened but sadly things didn't work out with his ex. 

"What happened at the coffee shop did you meet a girl" I teased him 

"I did her name is y/n and god she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen" he said 

That name brought back memories as my ex was named y/n. We dated a few years ago now and I broke up with her because I wanted to focus on football but I can't lie I have missed her a lot over the last few years. One of my biggest regrets is breaking things off with her as she was a lovely girl, smart and beautiful but I imagine she has probably almost forgotten about my existence in the three years we've been broke up. 

"Here's her Instagram isn't she just so beautiful I want to ask her on a date I just need to figure out what she would like" he said showing me his phone 

Instantly I recognised the girl as my y/n. From her posts it's clear that she's moved here for law school and has been working with the biggest law firm in the city which doesn't surprise me at all because she's the smartest person I know. She's also had a major glow up she was gorgeous before but now she might be perfect. I wanted to tell Gavi to back off because she was my ex and I still love her but I can't do that to him or her I can't stop them being happy just because I made a stupid decision. Still I think he should know that we used to date so that I'm not hiding things from him especially if she tells him at some point. 

"Oh I know her from back home we dated for a few months but I broke up with her to focus on football" I admitted 

"Oh I didn't know you had an ex from back home" he said 

"Yeah but it was three years ago so don't worry about it she will have had other boyfriends in the mean time don't let me stop you if you like her" I said trying to sound genuine but it hurt to say 

"Thanks man I'm just hoping she doesn't have a boyfriend right now" he joked 

~~~~~~~~~

3 weeks later 

I've been sat in my car for the last few minutes waiting for Gavi as we are spending the afternoon at my place playing fifa. I saw him approach the car and he had a big smile on his face which he often does but his smile seemed bigger than usual. He sat in the passenger seat still grinning ear to ear which means that something has happened that he's excited about. 

"What's going on with you you never smile that much" I said 

"I went on my first date with y/n last night and it was amazing and she just text me asking if I'm free tomorrow to go on another date" he said 

"That's great man I'm happy for you" I lied 

Secretly I was hoping things wouldn't work out between them and they wouldn't get past the talking stage but that was foolish of me. Y/n is a great girl and impossible not to love and Gavi is a good guy too deep down I knew that they would get along really well but part of me hoped it wouldn't be the case. I want to see Gavi happy but it hurts that it's with the girl I'm still in love with. Don't get me wrong I knew y/n would move on but I thought it would be with someone back home not my teammate and best friend but that's probably what I deserve for breaking up with her for purely selfish reasons knowing it would hurt her. 

For the rest of the day Gavi didn't stop talking about y/n and how well they get on. He showed me pictures from their date and told me all about the messages they sent to each other. All I was listening to was the stories she told him about her life since I last spoke to her. Just like I thought she would she's turned out to be incredibly successful she always wanted to be a lawyer and now she's here studying law with a full scholarship and an internship with the best law firm in the city who have already got a contract ready for her once she passes the exam to be able to practice law. When we were together she was always focused on studying and being the best she could be and she always wanted to do the things she's doing now and I promised I'd be right there with her when she did but instead I'm hearing about it from my best friend instead. 

~~~~~~~~~~

1 year later 

It has been a long season but a successful one ending with winning the league which feels amazing. To celebrate we are all having a team party at Robert's house all the team and their partners are invited as they've been through the stress of the season with us all. The party started an hour ago which is when everyone was supposed to arrive by but Gavi is yet to turn up. A few of us have text him but got no answer so naturally we started to worry but just as Pedri was about to call someone to see if they knew where he was he arrived with y/n. They have been together officially for 10 months now but she never comes to team events as she's often too busy and Gavi says she doesn't like being around loads of new people which I knew already so it doesn't surprise me. She was clearly nervous as she was hiding behind Gavi and I could tell he was squeezing her hand even from a distance. 

"I'm so sorry we're late guys y/n had her graduation this morning and I insisted we go out to lunch with her family to celebrate so it's my fault" gavi explained 

"Congrats y/n" Robert said 

"I thought you had another year left" Pedri said 

"I did but I managed to graduate early as I've done all of my required classes" she explained 

"Thats amazing well done" Pedri said 

The two of them joined the party not leaving each other's side for a while until y/n came to sit down in the only empty seat which happened to be next to me. We've seen each other a few times in the time she's been dating Gavi but not exchanged anything other than a few words. She never seems bothered by me being around its clear that she doesn't have any feelings towards me anymore like I do for her. I wish I could get over her the way she got over me but I can't because I know it's all my fault. 

"Hey congrats on your graduation I always knew you'd be super successful" I said talking to her for the for time since we broke up

"Thank you it's been hard work but completely worth it" she said

"How have you been by the way?" She asked 

"I've been good things have been good with the team I'm enjoying playing at Barcelona" I said avoiding the topic of my love life 

"How about you?" I asked 

"I've been great life has been treating me well I've got a good job lined up and Pablo has been helping me through everything thank you for not being weird about us being together I know you guys are friends and I promise it wasn't my intention to date one of your friends because I'd hate to get between you two" she said 

"It's ok I wouldn't want to get between anything if you guys like each other it's not my place to get in the way of that it's been long enough since we were together it doesn't matter anymore" I said 

"Still I appreciate how cool you've been with it all" she said getting back up to go and find Gavi

I thought talking to her would make me feel better and I could move on and let her and Gavi be happy while I find someone else but that didn't happen. It just made me wish I could be the one to celebrate all of these things with her I would've loved to have been there at her graduation or be one of the people she called about getting the job she wanted but I'm not that person to her anymore. She used call me first when she got grades back on any exam she took and now I don’t even make the list of people to tell at all and that hurts even if it is because of my actions. 

~~~~~~~~~~

A few years later 

The venue was filled with amazing decorations and people there to celebrate the special day the day that should be a happy one for everyone attending but not for me. Today is the day y/n and Gavi get married this date has been planned for months and I've been trying to ignore it hoping it would go away but here we are. Over the last few years their relationship has blossomed I secretly hoped that they wouldn't last but deep down I knew they were meant for each other. They've done everything together and if I wasn't still in love with y/n I'd admire their relationship and how perfect it is but I can't get over my feelings. 

I still remember the day Gavi announced that they were engaged, over our summer break they went away together and he proposed to her on a private beach during the sunrise with a beautiful ring and a bouquet of her favourite flowers. Everyone else was so happy for them but I just sat in the corner of the locker room thinking about how that could've been me and how I let her go. The wedding quickly became the talk of the locker room especially once a date was decided and invites were sent out it was supposed to be a perfect day and so far it has been. 

Soon enough everyone was seated and music began to play as everyone entered the venue at the end of the train y/n walked down the aisle with her dad. She looked like an angel her dress was pretty much moulded to her body and her makeup was just perfect. You could've told me she was a model and I would've beloved you she looked that amazing. She had a big smile on her face as she saw Gavi at the other end of the aisle with tears in his eyes which reminded me that I'm just here as a guest and she's not smiling at me. As the ceremony went on their smiles only got bigger and then it got to the part where they say their vows and there I wasn't a dry eye in the room. Most were crying because of how beautiful the words were but I was crying because I was thinking about what I would've said to her or what she would've said to me if it were us in this situation. 

Once the ceremony was over I had to find somewhere else to go to get myself together I thought I'd be ok and I would be over my feelings by now but I guess I'm not. If only I'd been brave enough to stay with her when I wanted to focus on football this could've been us. She could've moved to Barcelona with me and then she wouldn't have met Gavi that day in the cafe and who knows where we would've been. It doesn't matter what could've been because it's not going to happen it's time to accept that she will never be mine again and be happy for her and Gavi as they start a life together. 

[taempteng]

So, I finally finished 2ha.

I... have some thoughts.

Let's talk!

【 Story Review 】 The Husky & His White Cat Shizun

I started this story on the 30th of May through the manhua. When I caught up to the latest release, I switched to the novel. I binged the novel day and night, until finally ending the story on the 12th of June.

I want to clarify that I’ve only finished the main 311 chapters. I haven’t read the extra 39 chapters.

This review will only discuss my thoughts on the main story. I'll decide whether to talk about the extra chapters when I finish those in the future.

With that said, what is 2ha?

2ha is short for Dumb Husky and his White Cat Shizun. It came from the Mandarin title 《二哈和他的白猫师尊》 where 二哈 literally translates to “2 ha(s)”. It’s written by 肉包不吃肉 or “Meatbun Doesn’t Eat Meat”.

What’s the story about?

Well, it follows a man named Mo Ran. He’s a regressor and in his first life, he was the 踏仙君 or Celestial-Trampling Emperor. He was at the peak of the Cultivation World, a tyrant who ascended to godhood. However, at the age of 32, he poisoned himself and died.

But then, he wakes up! And he’s back to 16 years ago, before his life went to shit! The guy he likes is still alive, so are his sect members-

Oh, and his Shizun isn’t dead anymore, he supposed.

Either way, he swore to turn his fate around, ensure his crush doesn’t die in this life, and get back at everyone who had wronged him in his first life! Especially that darn Shizun who he hates the most!

Now that you know what the story is about, what is the story like?

2ha has your blueprint regression story beginning. Mo Ran dies bitterly in his first life, regresses, and swears to annihilate all his adversaries while aiming for a better future. That better future being ensuring his crush stays alive.

You must think that, because of the premise, Mo Ran will use the knowledge of his past life to team up with characters that can help with his goal, have intense scheming face-offs against his adversaries, and eventually find a way to overcome his crush’s death. Right?

Well, you would be wrong!

You see, the events in the second timeline unfurled much differently than the first. And when I said “differently”, I don’t mean “the main character did this, so the other characters did that”. No, I meant “the main character didn’t get to move an inch before something completely sidetracks”.

Usually in regression stories, the main character will narrate what happened in the first timeline and tell the audience how they will counter the events in this new life. In 2ha however, despite being told by Mo Ran about the events of the first timeline, what ended up happening in the current life was straight up different. So, Mo Ran was unprepared and had to deal with the situation differently.

It’s definitely a refresher to see Mo Ran being flustered by the change of events, especially when he’s not written to be a masterclass schemer. He’s not shounen-MC-dumb, but he’s clearly not Sherlock-Holmes-genius. It’s a good balance between being thrown off guard by the unfamiliar situation while also trying to adapt to the new scenario.

So if you had been put off by the idea of a stereotypical regression story, you can rest assured that 2ha subverts this trope. It’s packed with interesting twists and dramatic turns, while displaying compelling characters and rewarding developments. It’s a story that keeps you on the edge of your seat and always wanting to turn to the next chapter!

Since finishing the story, what did I think of the ending?

Obviously, as the finale, the final arc had to be the most dramatic. Many things happened that honestly had me restless and fearful. With how the plot was progressing, I thought the ending would be a downer.

By the final chapter, all I felt was peace and calm. Not the kind of “and they lived happily ever after”, but more of a “and everyone moved on with their lives”. It’s the kind of feeling when a disaster happened, but you got away with your life, so despite the depression, you still found a way to pick yourself up again and overcome the difficulty.

The final arc was one heck of a rollercoaster ride, but the ending was sweet enough that it makes you glad that everyone could live as happily as possible. In a way, it’s bittersweet, in that the bitter memories will now only bring a sweet fondness of bygone past and a hopeful future.

So for readers who don’t like sad/bad endings or open/ambiguous endings, you don’t have to worry as everyone in the story (or at least the important characters) gets some form of closure.

Overall, what are my thoughts on 2ha?

I personally think the story is amazing. It’s a long story, and there’s a lot of drama and angst. However, reaching the end after all the turmoil and agony, I think it’s worth the arduous read and late night binging.

For me, even if some characters are unbearable at the beginning or some times, they’re still ultimately interesting and endearing. Even with the characters I despise, I can understand why they act the way they do. I don’t like them and I certainly don’t suddenly like them just because they’re sympathetic, but the characters are distinct, convincing and not one-dimensional.

The plot progression is exciting but not spontaneous. Every event happened for a reason, and you won’t feel as if something occurred for the shock value. As the story progresses, the puzzle pieces will piece themselves, leaving you wide-eyed with realisation.

The story isn’t fast-paced, but it isn’t draggy either. It dwells on emotional scenes to bring out the rawest feelings, making you explore the minds of the characters. It also concludes each chapter with a hook, resolving one scene while making you curious for the next.

It is a story that captivates your attention while squeezing your heart where it hurts. Definitely a must-read if you’re an angst or drama lover! The ending is worth all the pain and anguish.

What is the moral of the story?

Some common themes I noticed in 2ha include loneliness, anger and resentment, and karma and revenge. There may be other themes, but these are the most prominent ones.

I’ll explore these themes more thoroughly in the future. For now, I want to talk about what we can take away from this story.

I think this line by Xue Meng in the final chapter perfectly encapsulates the overarching message of 2ha.

I’d love to discuss how this line summarises the lesson in the story, but that’ll require me to spoil a lot of important plot points. So instead, I’ll leave this conversation for another day. Now, we’ll move on to the final part of this review!

Any last words for anyone who wants to pick up 2ha?

A fair warning before you begin: You will hate Mo Ran at the start. His attitude towards Chu Wanning, his master and endgame, was very frustrating. Although there were sweet moments, the way he went straight for Shi Mei when he comes into view will probably make you tear your hair out.

Of course, it gets better as the story progresses, but if you don’t like seeing one side of the couple mistreating and misunderstanding the other side, then this story is not for you.

Not to mention, there are triggering themes discussed such as SA and cannibalism. If these topics make you uncomfortable, proceed with caution or reconsider starting the story.

2ha also touched upon subjects like misogyny, dehumanisation, hate campaigns — just a lot of heavy topics that may be distressing if you’re trying to read for fun and not to be reminded of reality.

With all that said, if you can handle a good dose of heartache, I highly recommend this story! It’s amazingly written (in my opinion) with lovable characters and an intriguing plot. I give 2ha 5 stars!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be reading those extra chapters!

[randomrambles3nonsenseetc]

Gratitude, healing, Bridgerton Polin & a little Lukola

Over the weekend I wanted to write something about gratitude, then I got busy, distracted and tired and the moment passed.

Don't get me wrong I am still very grateful for many things but this last year in particular has been really challenging, difficult and basically a roller coaster with a lot of blind twists and turns that has left me pretty fkng shattered.

Last week was a good week, but it was also long, chaotic and busy. What im learning about myself as I'm going through a journey of deep inner healing and personal growth is that its exhausting. As your body begins to move out of survival into some sort of intermediary space above survival mode it takes time, a lot of kindness and making boundaries in areas of my life that I never thought I would have to make.

Healing takes time, one step, one day at a time. Its also really hard to do when you still have to function and adult and have what feels like a world of expectations upon your shoulders.

There are so many moments through most days where I just want to pack a bag and go and live in a cabin in the woods for a while or something similar.

There are days where functioning in the world hurts so much that I don't want to be where I am, doing the work that I do, having the responsibilities i have. Instead I want to be somewhere else, doing something else, learning to completely be myself somewhere far away from the realities of my world. However, like everyone else, I have bills to pay responsibilities etc and realistically simply don't have the means to metaphorically or literally abandon my life.

So here i am crashed on my couch, utterly exhausted for a number of reasons. Questioning how and why does life somehow get harder the older you get.

Seriously, so called middle age is bullshit, the ideals about people in my age group/generation having settled lives, financial security, secure and strong friendship groups, hobbies, work life balance, the ability to travel or the ability to just quit a career and reinvent yourself to go on a journey of self discovery... its utter bullsh*t.

Let's be honest no matter how old you are, life is hard. Everyone is walking a journey and figuring it out as they go.

I know that a large part of getting through is about how you view the challenges you face in life and most of the time I have a reasonably healthy sense of pessimistic optimism... but sometimes, and more often recently, I wobble because life is complicated and today I'm tied.

There was a point... gratitude...

Yes, im thankful and grateful for having a job and career that I used to love and found fulfilling... I still like my job (most of the time), its just my current job is... different and im trying to work out how to get back to feeling fulfilled by my work.

Im thankful for lots of things, but one of the things that has helped get me through the last year has been Bridgerton, Polin and Lukola.

I've never really followed actors or fan-girled over celebrities, and still don't, but there's something remarkably special and unique about Luke and Nicola.

I love Bridgerton, the books are great (though I've gotten stuck halfway through Fran's book). The show captured my attention in season 1. I kinda liked season 2 better and season 3 captured my heart in a weird love-hate relationship.

I LOVE Polin! I love their characters and their story. Overall season 3 is my favourite, but it also left me wanting in many ways. Their story felt rushed and overshadowed by the multitude of parallel stories they squeezed into the season. In my personal opinion.

Im also vexed that they focused so much on a redemption arch for cressida cowper. Yes giving her character more depth and context was interesting and helped Eloise grow, but selfishly, I hate that they made such a blatant, deliberately cruel bully appear that her behaviour had perfectly rationalised reasons behind her bullying.

Its typical of most on screen bullies, their behaviour is rationalised in some way to make the bullying and gaslighting behaviour seem more normalised and acceptable. But urgh, bullies also know right from wrong and have the ability to choose their behaviour. That's the point of bullies, they know that what they are doing is deliberately targeting someone to belittle, to verbally, emotionally, physically abuse to boost their own fragile psyche. And tbh, rationalising a bullies behaviour irks me. In some ways, story arcs like this emphasise that bullying behaviour is socially acceptable irl when it's not.

I love the Mondrich's, and know the writers were setting up their story for season 4, but imo their story was superfluous to Polins story and season.

Benedict is one of my favourite characters, but I would have preferred they explored more of his artistic bohemian side rather than the direction they took with his story, which imo was just uncomfortable to watch. (They're the only scenes i fast-forward every time I rewatch S3).

Controversial opinion: Fran's story was boring. It really lacked energy and chemistry. The actors and acting is great, but imo the translation of Fran's story was lacking. I loved the scene where the Queen finds her playing the piano. There's a scene in episode 5 after the reading of the banns where Fran has an envious look on her face when Violet hugs Pen. Then in Episode 6 Fran's tantrum at the ball because Violet is scared to speak to the Queen... I get the nuance of the scene and the story arch, but feel they could have explored Fran's story differently. Plus I selfishly just wanted more Polin, I think they didn't need to go Into so much depth with Fran's story... yet. They could have brushed over her story more quickly and built In flash backs or something to future seasons, especially as Fran's full story is not going to be explored until Season 6 (if we get a season 6).

And of course Polin are my Favourites and I just wanted more of their story. I feel like they spent too much time in part 2 being angry and distant with other. I feel like they could have had 10 episodes to explore Polin's story because they packed it with so many sub-plots and so much angst.

Also, if the speculation about the deleted intimate scenes are true, it adds to my disappointment, because they hyped the steaminess of this season and what we got was good, but fizzled in part 2 due to all the angst and I wanted more exploration of how their enduring friendship transcended into their love story. Not just steam, but the intimacy of their friendship into love.

I could go on for days, but the last thing I will say in this post about s3, is that I wish they had focused more on Polin during their wedding breakfast dance rather than the frequent cuts to other characters. That dance was stunning but the way it was edited it together was just annoying. The BTs of lukola rehearsing that dance was ... on fire and magical.

This post is already far too long so I will try to keep this short.

Lukola individually are talented and come across as lovely people, but together, they are magic. Imo.

What i will say is that imo there's always been something weird, uncomfortable even, about A's presence and L's presentation around her.

The same for N and Jd.

I know what people say about JD and I am not disagreeing. However I don't know the truth of the situationships. I have my speculations which I will not share out of respect to the persons themselves.

What i will say, is that neither N or L light up the same when they are with A /JD in comparison to when they are with each other. They are like each others beacons, or north stars and its been an absolute delight to see something so rare captured on screen.

Watch the compilations of the WT on YouTube, there is sooo much nuance to be gleamed by their interactions with each other that simply doesn't compare to other seasons leads, or even other shows with romantic leads, let alone with A/JD.

Suffice to say Im firmly seated on the viewing deck of the ship and just watching to see where the journey takes us.

Im not hugely in to social media so I am however confused about two things:

1) a lot of posts have a belief that L &N got together during or even before the WT?

2) that N came away from the WT with a souvenir, (when would that have happened?) And possibly the stork delivered the souvenir in the first 10 days of this month?

Im not necessarily agreeing or disagreeing, Im just curious and confused.

[echotoyou]

Serendipity: Jimin

Part of the I miss you Collection

pairing: best friend!park jimin x gn!reader

what's inside: work is overwhelming and you decide to get dinner with your long term friend park jimin. unfortunately for you both when he arrives to pick you up you are still working (and you may look like shit)

warnings: curse words, hugs, therapy breathing exercises, a bit of a breakdown, jimin is SUPER good at hugging

word count: 1564

a/n: this one kept wanting more words and Jimin would NOT let me go. I hope this helps anyone experiencing a tough start to your week! you got this and I believe in you :) so incredibly grateful for a beta read by @theharrowing!!! thank you for helping me improve my writing 🥹💛🪿 graphics with gratitude from @strangergraphics!

posted august 2024 (also on ao3)

“Hey, I’m here, are you ready for… wait are you still working?”

A voice floats in and out of the haze surrounding your work-addled brain. Specific words slam  into the front of your skull while others fade to the background. Somewhere in your subconscious it registers that you do, in fact, enjoy the company of the owner of the voice, however, it still takes a gentle touch on your shoulder to drag your attention away from your computer screen.

“Hello, earth to the workaholic, there will STILL be emails on MONDAY— oh wow, you look like shit.” 

Suddenly accompanied by a face, you clock the pink and cream stripes of a sweater, a mop of dirty blonde hair, and more than a little sass in the eyes of your upstairs neighbor Park Jimin. He had quickly become a permanent fixture in your life when you realized you both worked at the same office, and who you had definitely agreed to do dinner with tonight. Shit.

When Jimin first started at your office, you alternated following each other home for about three weeks before putting two and two together that it was not, in fact, stalking, and you lived in the same six story apartment building within walking distance from your office. After your joint awkward realization, the two of you began to walk to work together in the mornings and evenings, taking the bus whenever it was too cold or if either of you were running late. 

Sometimes when you had to go extra early into the office, he would stop by when he arrived to bring you your favorite sweet coffee or a pastry. You exchanged keys on your third friendaversary and often would show up unannounced in each other's apartments to make dinner and relax. He loved spending time with your cat almost more than you did, and you adored that his kitchen was always incredibly well-stocked with ingredients and equipment. 

As both of your careers developed, you ended up switching to a different team and he got promoted, causing you to suddenly spend less time together at work. You still managed to walk together to work most days, but you started staying later and later in the office, your job requirements seeming to skyrocket every week with no ceiling in sight. To add insult to injury, you were also having trouble adjusting to your new team, and no matter how many times you reaffirm your interest and desire in the work, it still feels unmanageable and overwhelming.

This Friday you had closed your laptop at the end of the work day with a snap, determined to walk home with Jimin and enjoy your night to the fullest. He looked up with surprise in his eyes when you arrived in his office and quickly broke out into the biggest smile you had seen in a while. He packed his things and you both took advantage of the daylight hours getting longer again, walking back to your apartment building in the glow of a delightful orange sky getting more purple by the minute as the sun snuck below the horizon. It was finally spring.

In the elevator, you agreed to meet up for a dinner out, both wanting to celebrate your first free night in a while. Unfortunately, as soon as you clicked the lock on your front door, a ping sounded from your phone. Your company had “encouraged” all employees to download a communication platform onto your personal devices, and that ping meant your supervisor had just tagged you in an assignment due Monday morning. Kicking off your work shoes, you sighed. You pulled out your computer, and opened up the message to see what needed to get done, promising yourself that you’d look for two minutes before hopping in the shower to get ready for your dinner.

Apparently that quick two minutes had not been two minutes if the expression on Jimin’s face meant anything. Your eyes, already red from a week with little sleep and long hours looking at your computer, redden and fill with tears as you meet his searching gaze. 

“Oh OH hey hey I’m sorry – I didn’t mean you look like shit like shit, uh, I meant ‘you look like shit’ like, the! shit! You look cute?” rambling, his fingers reach under your eyes, brushing away the tears that are starting to fall. 

“Ah shoot,” he murmurs, “Can I hug you?” You nod a slight yes and he quickly leans down to wrap his arms around your shoulders.

His arms feel warm and secure as he holds you and holds you and holds you. You squeeze him twice to signal that it’s okay, you’re okay, and he can pull away now. Rather, he somehow pulls you even closer. You feel the pent up exhaustion and stress bubble into tears which start flowing down your cheeks. The dampness transfers onto his lovely knit sweater that you vaguely recognize as the one you gifted him for the holidays last year.​​ 

You nestle your face deeper in the comforting softness and breathe in the scent that you know by now just as well as the homemade apple pie that filled your family house as a child. Warm, sweet, safe. 

Your arms tighten their grip as you let the recent endless days of late nights and early mornings wash over you. Your slow stream of tears quickens, your mind racing at the missed deadlines, the projects that are too big for your three-person team, and the always urgent after hours emails. You gasp for breath and open your mouth against his sweater in a not-so-silent silent scream. All throughout, he stays right where he started, supporting your lower back with one arm and head with the other, cupping the nape of your neck, his thumbs gently moving up and down in a soothing rhythm.  

Your open mouthed scream turns to full body sobs, shaking you from tip to toe as you cling onto Jimin for dear life. Your head begins to buzz with dehydration as your tears slow their fall, but the pain of the last few months continues to circle in your brain.

Desperate to stay in the moment, you concentrate on the places where you feel Jimin’s fingers on your skin, the light woody scent of his cologne that you helped him pick out, and the feeling of his chest moving… a little unnaturally under you? Your brain hyper focuses on the rise and fall of his chest under your cheek. He takes a deep inhale, holds the breath and then releases it in a long, slow exhale. The third time he does it, you count the beats between each breath and recognize it as something you learned in therapy. After a few more cycles, you join in. 

Inhale

Hold, 2, 3

Release, 2, 3, 4, 5. 

Inhale

Hold, 2, 3

Release, 2, 3, 4, 5. 

Your breathing begins to even and the buzz in your head manages to give you a brief respite. You pull your head from where it was buried in his armpit and rest your chin on his chest, looking up at the man. 

Jimin’s eyes meet yours and you can see tears swimming in his own. You exchange watery smiles and he breaks the silence. 

“Hi there,” his voice sounds uncertain but is accompanied by a small, sad smile pulled against his features. 

“Hi back at you,” your voice is rough with disuse and you almost laugh at the absurdity of how much it sounds like a garbage disposal. 

He smiles more fully this time and squeezes you for a second before releasing his side of the hug. He still keeps his arms around you in case you need more, but you do the same, squeeze tight once and then fully relax.

You feel him searching your eyes for information and open your mouth to respond before —

*ping*

You hear Jimin huff and you twist in his arms, turning in your chair to look at the screen. Moving to behind your chair, he drapes his arms over your chest and places his head on top of yours. 

“What on earth could be important at 7:30pm on a Friday night?” he complains, and huh. He’s right. You agree with him. The work will still be there at 8am on Monday when you arrive in the office and you are not obligated to give your precious free time away (unless, of course, you get paid overtime, which does not seem to exist in your industry). 

You take a deep breath, steadied by the warmth of Jimin’s arms that are still wrapped around your chest, and close your laptop. You tilt your head back, giving the man above you a soft smile and an embarrassingly bad wink before replying.

“Nothing as important as dinner with you.”

“Wow,” he extends the word as a smile creeps onto his face. “That was so incredibly cheesy. It’s a good thing I think you’re funny.” 

He pulls you out of your chair and gently pushes you toward your bedroom.

“Now please go shower so we can get going! I didn’t put on my favorite sweater to sit inside tonight!” 

You still feel a bit raw from your earlier outburst, but also somehow a little better. A tiny grin makes its way onto your face as you turn for the bathroom.

[yousaydisco]

Cooking/food headcanons for a few characters

(some of these I've put in various fics but there are some new ones)

Harry: Couldn't cook anything before the amnesia, but has taken up cooking as a new hobby. Took him a while to get good but he sincerely likes it. Has started to give homecooked meals/treats away as gifts, and is even okay at baking stuff. It took everyone else at the Precinct even longer to trust the food he makes though, but for a lot of them, it just took until seeing Kim eat his cooking without hesitation for them to want to try his stuff.

Kim: Like most cops, his diet is/was mainly takeout (a lot less takeout now that Harry cooks for him sometimes). He isn't good at cooking but can probably master a few basic recipes. He tries to pass himself off as a "food is just fuel for the body" type of guy and would eat anything when he's in public, but that is to hide that he's actually kind of a picky guy. There are very few foods that he hates enough to be able to force himself to eat, but he doesn't force himself when he's alone.

Judit: There are two ways to take it: if he husband is shitty, and if her husband is not. All depends on how you would interpret her line about "raising two kids and half a husband."

If her husband is shitty then she comes home and has to cook them all dinner, despite working a full shift as a patrol officer. She knows the best way to spice up the Hamburger Helper type meals, the kind that come in a box and are really easy to throw together. They might relay on takeout a little too often, but she's really tired and she also cares about her kids having enough to eat and not going hungry.

If "half a husband" refers to like, he's unemployed/a house husband and NOT shitty, then he would do the cooking. He's pretty good at it, and she loves coming home to hot food ready to be eaten immediately. When she has a day off she loves to take over in the kitchen for breakfast, wakes up the kids with cinnamon rolls as often as she can.

Jean: My headcanon for his background has changed a lot but generally I think he is a guy who is secretly REALLY GOOD at cooking. He grew up having to fend for himself (either just himself or possibly a whole mess of siblings with him as the oldest) and he's just a whiz in the kitchen. Has learned many family recipes from his grandparents who came to Revachol from Messina. If you tell him that he can't eat carbs there is a real risk he will kill you.

Cuno & Cunoesse: Cannot and should NEVER be trusted with a stove. Not only can they not cook but they will use the stove to melt plastic cups and burn paper. However: Cuno loves fried bologna sandwiches and Cunoesse loves lemon-flavored desserts.

Neither of them are picky kids, especially (and this happens in the story where Harry leaves Martinaise with the both of them and house them) for the first few months after being home with Harry. They didn't have access to good food all the time, and sometimes didn't consistently have access to food in general, so neither voiced any complaints about what they were given to eat. Slowly but surely Cuno felt comfortable enough to tell Harry that he doesn't like a few things, like mushrooms, but Cunoesse literally will eat and like anything. She will devour an entire pack of saltine crackers if you aren't watching her.

Overall Precinct: While a majority of them seem to live off of breakroom coffee, cigarettes, and the kebabs within walking distance, there is a secretary who liked to bring in donuts every Wednesday morning. It was pretty popular and they often didn't last an hour, but an Incident Happened and she transferred to a different wing. (No one wants to tell Harry and he's petrified that he did something really weird and made her uncomfortable enough to transfer, and in his worst moments he thinks about tracking the specific woman down to apologize but he's too scared of what she will say)

(he is actually the one who made her uncomfortable but it wasn't because he hit on her or made her feel unsafe in that way, it was actually him trying to be an Ultra-Feminist and went on a lecture that she didn't have to do all of this just because she was a woman and she is pigeonholing herself in an unnecessary caretaking position, and she got pissed off since she has been buying them donuts out of the kindness of her heart and he's turning it into a whole thing and making her feel dumb or something. So she transferred. No one wants to tell him because they're pissed off that he ruined their free donuts and they want him to feel bad.)

[onlyancunin]

Hey guys,

a little update on my situation with my ex if anyone's interested. Gonna be a doozy, but there's just so much in my head right now and I know there might be some worrying about me.

Or maybe I'll just spark a bit of confidence in someone else ✨

You know how you get a pizza, all excited, try it, and it's not good? Like it was fine at first and hey, you were hungry, but with each bite it progressively got worse. Do you stopped after a piece or two or three. And just tossed out the rest.

But it was enough to give you a severe food poisoning. So you spend a good portion of the next however many days throwing up and not being able to meet with friends and family because you're too sick. And you're so frustrated, because the pizza wasn't even that good, and you didn't eat that much, but you're still unable to function??

So yeah, I got severe emotional poisoning from relationship with my ex. But after we broke up I got nowhere to go, and he agreed to continue living together, so that I can move out once I secure money for deposit and whatnot.

Never go for that.

Last Sunday ex threw another jealous fit at me, making me unable to work for another 2 days - and then he was off to holiday with his friends (which couldn't come quick enough, I literally counted hours for him to leave). That left me and severely poisoned, but also gave me opportunity to collect myself and regroup a little away from him.

3 days later I had a new place and just today I got the keys.

Coincidentally my post about him about two months ago sparked a friendship with someone from here (Tumblr is a country okay). She kept me together through all that and let me tell you this was fucking tantalizing. It's surreal how things can change in such a short time. Having her as a friend truly opened my eyes as to what a relationship is NOT, seeing how someone who was just a stranger a few months ago, today cared for me more than he ever did.

I gave myself up for scraps of attention and believed when everyone around was telling me he is "one of the good guys". He came from nice, big family, with stable finances, nice group of friends. A noble job, a paramedic, which always impressed my sorry graphic design/IT developer ass. Like the only thing I'm saving is oceans from existing with the amount of shit that's being produced partly by my designs. So it felt good to be supportive of the good person and finally have a family, since I do not have one of my own.

Which is probably why I took the break-up so badly, even if I initiated it. I felt incredibly guilty for letting everyone around down. Everyone loved him. And I mean everyone. The only thing I ever aired I discussed with people outside of our common friends, and those were the people who told me something doesn't add up. And as I started following my gut feeling (and had a speedrun to breakup by hurting my knee and needing help where my ex completely dropped the ball), he started acting up. Suddenly setting boundaries with his family was me being jealous over him even having one, I just couldn't understand apparently how I'll never be the most important to him. Me asking him to be here for me when I'm having a hard time was met with "You're having a hard time EVERY DAY!".

Essentially I just ruined his family visits, his vacation with my knee injury, his days with my bad moods etc. But he ruined one too many Sundays for me.

So here I am, packing my sh#t and planning what goes where because I know I will be thoroughly exhausted after all things are moved, so I need to plan ahead.

And I still throw up emotionally, sobbing every 10 minutes, I don't even know why anymore. I just cry until I stop and then I continue prepping for move.

It's just a bad pizza.

[lord-aldhelm]

WIP Wednesday

No one tagged me this time and I almost forgot about this!! Another week, another tag game! Please share your last sentence; or, if you don’t have one, share a plot bunny or idea!

So for this WIP Wednesday, I am going to do something a little different! I am going to post the entire most recent chapter of my WIP. I really love how this turned out, and wanted to share the whole thing. It kind of works well as its own little standalone ficlet.

From my latest Aldflaed WIP (that does not have a title yet)

Background Context: This takes place in early Season 2. King Ceolwulf II has just passed away, and Lord Aethelred was installed as the new Lord of Mercia. He is taking charge of moving the household from the old capital of Tameworthig (Tamworth) to Aegelesburg (Aylesbury). Aldhelm has just been promoted to captain of the guard, and is having a hard time gaining the respect of his new subordinates...

______________________________________________________________

Chapter after the cut below:

Aldhelm left the peace and solitude of the forest, feeling energized and enlightened. But it was not to last. Before he even entered the castle gate, he heard shouting and the sounds of things breaking. He drew his sword and ran into the courtyard, expecting the worst, but to his dismay and somewhat relief found it was just the guards being rowdy. The previous captain had already been dismissed, given an early retirement and a gift of land in the western part of Mercia. In that short time, the guards were taking advantage of being leaderless, or so they thought. Many held horns of ale as they stood in the street, yelling and laughing, and some of them were even causing destruction to property. Others sparred recklessly in the sides of the courtyard, and some others were harassing women who were trying to go about their business. Apparently, they were bored and restless, having nothing to do as the castle was being packed up.

He had never known the guards to be so unruly before, but they seemed to be taking advantage of the change in leadership to relieve some stress. And also, quite clearly, to test him. Although he had already been acknowledged as their captain, and had made a point to introduce himself to them, they did not take him seriously. He needed to make a forceful impression on them so they knew he meant business. He was already used to the role of advisor and king’s right-hand man, but he had to adjust to his new role as captain of the guard.

He was a decent warrior, having been highly trained in skills of sword and shield, axe and spear. He mastered every skill given to him with ease, and was a fast learner; however, he detested fighting. He would much rather fight his battles with a quill than a sword. But Aldhelm had a special talent for battle tactics, and it made sense to have a strategist like him in the lead of the army. So, he accepted it without complaint. And now he needed to bring them in line, and he knew he only had the one chance or else they would never respect him as their captain. He sighed, realizing that his leisurely strolls in the woods were now a thing of the past, no matter where they lived. His life was going to get busier and more complicated than he anticipated.

He sheathed his sword and casually strode in through the front gate. The guards saw him enter but paid him no mind, and continued their raucous merrymaking. They were not at all threatened by the tall, lithe man with no real battle experience. He remained calm and complacent, which was difficult considering the circumstances. Were the guards so undisciplined that they could not go a day without their captain bearing down on them? That would need to change. He continued to saunter seemingly unbothered through the middle of the courtyard, glancing over the scene before him to pick out the worst offender. Without breaking his stride, he unsheathed his sword again, and smacked the loudest man with the broad side of his sword.

It might as well have been a honeybee stinging a boar; the man was much larger and heavier than him by nearly double, and built like a brown bear with thick corded muscles and a broad barrel chest. He had clearly seen many battles, and was covered in scars. The man turned around to confront his attacker, but when he saw Aldhelm, he gave pause. Aldhelm could see some semblance of thought forming behind the man’s dull grey eyes, and let him think about his next action before he continued. The battle-worn guard, rather than getting angry, started to laugh. The rest of the guard looked on, not knowing what to do, but eventually they joined in and laughed as well. Aldhelm smirked and tilted his head slightly, knowing he was the butt of the joke but let them have their little moment of jest.

“I seem to have interrupted quite a party here,” Aldhelm said, standing firm and confident in the face of real danger. As he spoke, the laughter stopped. “But it is time now for you to clean up this mess you have made.” He gestured broadly with the point of his sword to the broken bits of wood and other debris that littered the walkway in the courtyard. The burly man just laughed in his face, completely unbothered by the weaker man making unreasonable demands of him, and turned to walk away and continue his wanton destruction.

Aldhelm was undeterred. “Since you are all clearly bored, and in need of something to do, why don’t we have a training session.” His soft steady voice barely carried across the courtyard, but the big man heard him.

His head turned to once again face Aldhelm. “You? Train me?” His eyes darted up and down across Aldhelm. “What a joke.”

Aldhelm rested his blade against his shoulder in a cocksure manner. “You are right. It would not be a fair fight. I will ask one of the other guards to spar with me instead. Someone who will actually be a challenge for me.”

“Little twig, I don’t know how you ended up being the captain, but you had best go home now, unless you want me to snap you in half!” the burly man announced. When Aldhelm made no indication that he would leave, he continued. “Look, we all know that I should be the captain. I was second in command, and was promised a promotion. Now, why don’t you do us all a favor, and go back inside the castle, and tell the king that a mistake was made, and that Wulfstan is the new captain of the guard.”

A chilling smile spread across Aldhelm’s face as he unpinned his brooch. He removed his cloak and gently set it on a stone bench nearby, and picked up one of the shields that had been callously dropped on the ground. “You can certainly have the role of captain, if you defeat me in single combat.”

“Little lordling, I will not be held responsible for your death,” Wulfstan replied gruffly. “You want the title, fine, you can have it, in name only. But you step aside and let me lead the men in real battle.”

The smile vanished from Aldhelm’s face, and his fierce green eyes were set in a cold, hard, unwavering glare at Wulfstan. “Draw your sword and face me. I will not ask again.”

Wulfstan decided to humor him. He nonchalantly picked up his shield, and pulled his short-sword from the scabbard. He had no time to react before Aldhelm struck without warning, raining powerful blows onto his shield. Wulfstan was shocked at how strong he was; he was taken off balance and pushed backwards before he was able to stabilize and defend himself properly. He managed to get an offensive swing at Aldhelm but made no contact; Aldhelm had anticipated the move and leapt backwards, leaving Wulfstan to swing at empty air. Aldhelm charged forward again, and made contact with Wulfstan’s armor, leaving deep cuts in his leather bracer and severing a few links of chainmail on his left arm. Wulfstan realized that Aldhelm meant business, and began to take the fight seriously. If the scrawny man died, so be it. He had an entire army as witness of his attack, and would be justified.

Wulfstan charged at Aldhelm, sword held high, and swung hard at his head. But as before, he never made contact; Aldhelm was far too fast for him, and had already leaned backwards, avoiding the blow. In response, Aldhelm circled around to his right side and struck again, and managed to get a slice into his right shoulder pad. Wulfstan swung his sword out at him, but again, Aldhelm had already leapt back, avoiding the sword. By this point, the rest of the guard had already formed a square around the dueling pair, and were watching intently. They could not believe that a skinny weakling was able to fight the man they thought of as their best warrior. They watched with baited breath, hoping that Wulfstan would put an end to the silly battle, and retain his honor. But as the duel continued, they realized that their leader was actually being bested by him, to their disbelief.

Aldhelm seemed to anticipate the advances of Wulfstan with eerie accuracy, and always managed to avoid his blows. It was like he could see into the future. But what they didn’t know is that Aldhelm had spent many hours watching the guards spar in the courtyard and training grounds, and knew all of Wulfstan’s typical moves. What they also did not know was that Aldhelm was formally trained by Ceadda, the previous captain. He had also received combat training during his time in Rome, and was deceptively strong for his stature. People tended to underestimate Aldhelm, which he used to his advantage, and this time was no different.

Wulfstan was starting to escalate, while Aldhelm stayed calm and composed. In his fury, Wulfstan charged at Aldhelm and their blades met with a loud metallic clang. The bigger man pressed down on Aldhelm, and his blade snaked along Aldhelm’s down to the hilt. At that moment, Aldhelm raised his shield and hit Wulfstan hard with the edge of it, straight into his temple. The burly man stumbled backward, dropping his own shield in the process. Blood ran down his face and into his eye, temporarily blinding him on one side. While he was stunned, Aldhelm rammed hard into him, knocking him down onto the ground. As Wulfstan’s blurred vision came into focus, he saw Aldhelm standing over him, his sword pointed at his chest.

“Do you yield?” Aldhelm said softly. The burly man raised his hands, and nodded. Aldhelm withdrew his sword, and as he did, Wulfstan staggered to his feet. His angry glare met Aldhelm’s cool one. He could not believe this willowy man defeated him at swordfighting. The rest of the guard started shouting epithets at Aldhelm, briefly drawing his attention to them. He half expected one of the other guards to charge at him in defense of their fallen leader. However, it was Wulfstan who made the next move. He drew his seax, and while Aldhelm was distracted, charged at him full force. Aldhelm saw the movement in his peripheral field of vision, and reacted quickly. At the last second Aldhelm raised his shield, blocking the attack. The seax was plunged deep into the shield, splitting it, and almost making contact with his face. He rotated his arm so that the blade was deflected away from his face, but in the process, it had grazed him just to the side of his right eye.

Aldhelm put his full force into his shield, twisting it and forcing it away from himself and into Wulfstan. The seax, still embedded in the broken shield, was wrenched from Wulfstan’s hand and tossed onto the ground. Wulfstan grabbed the shield fragment from the ground, and struggled to pry the seax loose, holding the shield with his right hand and using his left to free the blade. Before Wulfstan could use it, Aldhelm had raised his sword and struck the unarmed man with a devastating blow that penetrated a weak point in his armor just below the elbow of his left arm. A major artery had been severed, and blood gushed out of the wound. Wulfstan dropped the seax and fell to his knees, his right hand squeezing his left elbow to stop the bleeding. Aldhelm swung his sword swiftly around to point directly at his throat, and once again, calmly asked, “Do you yield?” Wulfstan’s eyes were wide with pain and fear, and he relented this time.

“Yes, Lord,” he said weakly, shaking uncontrollably. He was starting to lose a lot of blood, and would surely die. Aldhelm sheathed his sword and grabbed his cloak, using it to place a tourniquet on Wulfstan’s injured arm.

He stood and glanced at one of the horrified guards still standing in a square. “You,” he said, making eye contact with one, “bring me something to cauterize this wound.” When he didn’t move, Aldhelm emphasized, “Now!” and the young guard ran off to the nearby blacksmith, and returned with a metal bar, still red hot at the tip. Aldhelm removed the cloak and pressed the glowing end of the bar into the wound. The big man screamed in pain, and the acrid smell of burning flesh and smoke filled the air. But, the bleeding was stopped. Aldhelm rewrapped his elbow with a clean section of the cloak. He ordered another guard to notify the priests, who would be needed to tend to his wounds and nurse him back to health after his severe injury.

Once Wulfstan was carried away by the priests to recover, Aldhelm addressed the rest of the guard. “Does anyone else wish to challenge me?” No one said a single word. They were shocked and impressed by not only how deceptively strong a fighter he was, but by the mercy he showed Wulfstan. Wulfstan had committed treason, humiliated his master, and attempted to murder the new captain. He should have been executed on the spot for his crimes, or allowed to bleed to death where he lay. But Aldhelm showed him compassion, and tended to his wounds instead, saving his life. They all looked at their new captain with awe and reverence, and knew that this man was someone they would follow to the ends of the earth.

* * *

No Pressure Tags: @whitedarkmoonflower @sihtricfedaraaahvicius @gemini-mama @thenameswinter99 @alexagirlie @synintheraven @garunsdottir @thelettersfromnoone @aegonx @itbmojojoejo and whoever else wants to do it!

[jazz-kitty]

For ask thing - 6, 10 (i think like i have an idea) and 13?

ended up being long

6. least favorite ship(s)

i had beef with melivenam [venelia? (menam? {something else?})] a while ago but i think it's chill now. cute even. adorkable perhaps. and i think talon & florin are interesting enough as Brothers In Arms as opposed to dating. but even that is loose; i just don't think they'd ever call each other the word boyfriend and at the end of the day don't actually care if people want them making out. and that's about the extent of it i think?

i don't really mind any of the ships i've seen; it's a small fandom and the amount of people that mention ships is even smaller. i'm chill with most of em. i'll draw like 80% of them. i see the vision and respect it even if i do not follow it

10. favorite villain / antagonist

smiles. You know. besides flora though who is the default answer because she is the best character ever. i like texen a lot. my friends have made several pieces of artwork with religious allegories with texen because it has been a joke for multiple years. i knew texen before i so much as thought about playing a pokemon fangame. texen was the first fangame character i ever drew. my friend made an entire reborn texture pack just for texen

and horrifically dedicated bit aside, i do think he's funny & enjoy seeing him on screen. don't diss the do

13. any random theories

this is already getting long as shit so im not explaining any of them #sorry. also because if i think about any of these for too long they fall apart:

eizen is the fourth of whatever eden clear & kieran have going on [chess piece thingies implied there was a fourth bitch and he's weird. idk. theyre in chess club together idk], madame x is the 2nd interceptor thats mentioned at the... interceptor computer thing... in like zeight? i think it was called that?, puppet master is risa and just uses he/him pronouns on the weekend (but she has a job so she doesn't really care about that right now {or rune but its more boring to think its rune just bc she's been off screen and mysterious. she's just dead or something bro #GiveItUp [< i am aware it is probably rune]}), nymiera is one million year old, vitus is one million year old and fumbled nymiera so bad that the plot of rejuvenation happened, whatever the gang in sashilla [ren, erin, venam, melia, you, aelita, other people im forgetting] is was wished for by maria and is why they were all uplled together & maybe the cause of intereceptors entirely, dr isha died however many years ago under a different name and stole the body, brain, organs, or something else that he definitely shouldn't steal to continue "living",

and the evil gang cool squad is the 6 protagonist kids who gave away their bodies to adrest's mom whatever her name is to stop storm 9. they can't do it themselves because they're just a bunch of teenagers, which is why they get uhh. me. hi. to fix the world using their image, while they get to watch Yay! im not sure why anything is specifically LIKE that, but im pretty sure that's whats happening. + adrest is here too because Mom said you have to bring me along if you wanna hang out with your friends :'(

[popentertainmentconcertreviews]

Peter Frampton – The Met – Philadelphia, PA – September 19, 2024

When you have recorded what could arguably be called the most iconic live album in rock history, you really have to bring it when you hit the concert stage. Considering that Frampton Comes Alive is now 48 years old, and in recent years, the singer/guitarist has been plagued by physical issues, you would be forgiven for assuming that Peter Frampton may have lost a step.

You would be wrong.

Oh, sure, due to his dealing with inclusion body myositis (IBM) – an autoimmune disease that affects his muscles, particularly his legs, but also his fingers – the once spry rock guitarist had to come on stage with a cane and had to sit through the complete set. (Frampton’s band also sat throughout the show, in solidarity with their leader.)

However, even if he isn’t physically up to doing some of the heavy lifting that he once did as a performer, his talent as an artist has barely dimmed. His vocals are still as crystal clear and ringing as they ever were. And despite the slight lack of strength in his fingers, his guitar work was still spot on. (In an interview about his condition, Frampton acknowledged that while he may not always have the raw power he once had, luckily his fingers still know what to do.)

If you closed your eyes and just listened to the music, you’d think you were back in the 1970s.

Also, his personality as a host and showman is still top notch, with Frampton regularly engaging the audience, good-heartedly joking about his condition and showing his determination to beat it. You could tell from his upbeat stage presence why the tour is named “The Positively Thankful Tour.”

He was particularly engaged because he said that Philadelphia has always been a favorite tour stop for him, ever since he played in front of the largest crowd of his career at the old JFK Stadium – a double bill of Frampton and Yes performed for a packed audience of 120,000 Philadelphians in June of 1976.

The crowd at The Met on this night may have been a bit smaller (the 3,500-seat venue seemed pretty full), but they were no less enthusiastic.

Frampton set things off on a good foot with a sizzle reel of vintage Frampton video, followed by his early jangle-rock slammer “Day in the Sun.” He followed this up with rocking versions of slightly lesser-known fan favorites such as “Lying,” “Lines on My Face” and a version of his Humble Pie song “Shine On.”

It didn’t take all that long for the hits to come out, though, as the crowd went wild when Frampton said, “All right, take it away, boys” and started playing the iconic acoustic chords and talk-box opening of his first huge hit, “Show Me the Way.” This led to a group of sweet ballads, with the folk-reggae tinged “The Crying Clown” and the short instrumental “Nassau” leading into another one of his biggest hits, the gorgeous love song “Baby I Love Your Way.”

He followed it up with a surprisingly shredding instrumental cover of Ray Charles’ classic “Georgia On My Mind,” a sweet ballad which took on a new toughness in this power chord-based reinterpretation. Later in the show, Frampton and his band did a similar, mostly instrumental reinvention of Soundgarden’s power ballad “Black Hole Sun,” which also rocked like a mother. (On this second one, Frampton used his talk box to sing the final chorus.)

Another huge ballad from his past – and one that had been sidelined for a long time – was “I’m In You.” “I don’t usually do this one. I haven’t done it in many years,” Frampton explained, “but it actually was the biggest hit I ever had.” It’s a shame that Frampton has avoided this stunning ballad, although I sort of get the fact that he may have complicated feelings about it. His record label at the time pressured him to follow up Frampton Comes Alive before he was ready and while this song may have been huge, the album it accompanied was considered a disappointment and stopped the forward momentum of his superstardom. Still, it was nice to hear the song again.

Then he closed out the main set with a slamming 17-minute version of his rock classic “Do You Feel Like We Do.”

For the encore, he returned to the Humble Pie playbook for with “Four Day Creep” – on which he allowed his band to take the lead – and “I Don’t Need No Doctor.” Then he closed out on a fun, light-hearted cover of The Dave Clark Five’s “Glad All Over.”

Frampton played and sang for about two-and-a-half hours, and it still felt way too short. (Some dude in the men’s room after the show claimed that Frampton had played 45 minutes longer than on any other stop this tour, but who knows who that guy was and how he would possibly know this. The setlist seemed to be pretty consistent with the other shows.)

Either way, it’s good to see that almost five decades later, Frampton still comes alive.

Copyright ©2024 PopEntertainment.com. All rights reserved. Posted: September 22, 2024.

Photos by Jim Rinaldi © 2024. All rights reserved.