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6blackfilin9 · 5 years ago

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Just decided to show that I'm still alive over here

So guess it's LongShitpost Time

A very long post about The Batman's (2004) Penguin

And well, I've been thinking about making it for about a year, so.. here we are, watching me behaving like an easily surprised kid babbling about Oswald and how much I admire him and why

Actually nothin' important or highly moral here. If you still wanna read then just forget it's talk about a character from a kids show, I take this sh🐧t seriously and barely speak English

I like to take a lot of screenshots but can't use here all of them uuUUuUuuUUUUUGH

It's all about the 1st episode of 2nd season of The Batman (mostly, I also mention other my two fav episodes with Oswald)

I like it so much cuz this all just starts with "cat-mouse play" kind of cooperation which leads to "well guess you two will be chillin' in jail in pure mammalian harmony" and ends up with "oh no no no, this is your thievish girl, so you take her back"

"— You two pointy-ears make such a cute couple: his and hers."

"— Hm, made for each other."

I just crack up at this plot line so much

But well, being more serious, this episode unveils some of Oswald's personality traits quite vividly.

Going back to the first episode when he appeared, from the first sight it looked like the most of the time he acts like a mindlessly arrogant jerk who has no clue about what he’s doing, as most of kid-show villains, and tends to lose his temper fast , but if you look closer you’ll see that huge amount of his conduct lines are just a part of the games he plays

Like, he came to the Bruce's party just to take the damn list of guests, that’s the goal

But because of his behavior in public's eyes he wasn't the "strange quiet guy who's been looking around for all the time, than took the list of rich guests from butler and than left while there are robberies of rich people occurring in the city". He was "arrogant snobbish freak who thinks he's some sort of royalty (despite his family lost its place at the top of Gotham's society) so he acts around them as if they were peasants", so, for everyone it looks like the only thing he came for was attention, plus, influenced by negative emotions, people didn't notice such a potty movements as putting some paper in his jacket. I mean none even managed to notice that he stole the motherf🐧cking tray

(Well, for sure Oswald's quite snobbish about his family and it's "blue blood", can’t deny that, though he doesn’t behave that defiantly all the time and the only time when he completely loses it, cracks and explodes about this was when he became enraged hearing Alfred's words whom he took hostage in Bruce's house. That was a very bad day for him)

And come on, Oswald had patience and intelligence to figure out how to teach different predatory birds like ravens and owls, who actually tend to be wayward and even agressive time to time, to steal damn stuff from houses and how to make those f🐧cking badass high-tech umbrellas himself

So, cool man

If that episode showed his enormous arrogance, devotion to his family, resourcefulness, intelligence and hidden potential, this one shows how cunning, selfish, cold, ruthless and at some point insightful he can be

Back to the episode, it literally opens with the start of the strategy competition between Oswald and Selina

First they meet they start with a direct verbal flight for the Cat statue, which Oswald wins. So Selina, willing to get what she wants, desides to get down on a more manipulative subtle level playing love interest

So, of course Oswald gets stunned at first, I guess not every girl treats him this way every day, but he effectively uses this state to figure out his following plan and actions, and immediately starts behaving as a school boy in love.

So the man literally changed his tactics in a couple of seconds and figured out the new plan with the new “puppet” involved. Selina didn’t even notice anything thinking that she managed to hook him up easily so she now can manipulate him as she wants.

(guess Bruce was right, these two are worth each other: both prideful as heck)

So later their game enters the new fervent phase: they both play love interest in front of each other, and Oswald nailes his role just perfectly, making Selina even more convinced of his naivety so she reduces her alertness completely.

But guess he enjoyed this at some point. Like, Selina is a charming beautiful woman able to maintain a pleasant conversation with couple of dry sarcastic notes, so, I think this shade of sincerity helped him to play his part

And well, for quite huge amount of time Oswald makes that devil face with crooked grin which makes him look like a f🐧cking Satan, or just beings grumpy hardened journalist who had seen some shit which makes him look like he's about to have a severe breakdown, but here as he is around Selina in the first part of the episode he's completely calm like a damn fat cat, serious, focused and straight-faced, that's just gorgeous

He cracks up a bit ahead of time just once, when she manages to get the Bird statue

But as it goes to the showdown he doesn’t show even a hint of genuine sympathy or regret, he’s just like “well get reked Selina” and takes English leave

Well, I know it’s a kids show, Bruce saves the day and stuff, but Oz did literally put the bomb in the f🐧cking handcuffs so in case one of the two tries to put them off before the police arrive they actually f🐧cking die. I mean, that's kinda rough. But at the other hand it’s quite nobly but shortsighted of him to leave his enemies alive having a chance to interfere him later

And well, maybe Oswald isn’t good at etiquette, but he have never beaten Selina or any other lady if it came to close fight, while Batman did. Ozzie is a gentleman, shame on ya Bruce

And just to be said, the motherf🐧ucker didn’t even blink when the f🐧king half of his god damn umbrella was cut off right in front of his f🐧cking face. And oh my god, how f🐧cking firm Oswald's grip is that the hella heavy umbrella all made of f🐧cking metal didn't even swayed from the impact in the most stout place. Badass.

And just for a second, Oswald managed to dig to the bottom of that legend about the Bird and Cat statues and started putting the plan into action only after he had found all the necessary information about it (which he had to translate himself from ancient Egyptian), so that the first time he used it, it didn't turn out that he missed something and summoned some ancient shit so now the whole world is in danger (as it happens with villains in movies sometimes).

(The saddest part is that the only single thing that prevented the shit from happening was immense amount of luck. mean Bruce has all kinds of gadgets for literally any situation and knows literally everything just in case. Like, it was very useful of Bruce to study ancient Egyptian just in case someone decides to use egyptian artifacts for evil stuff. And they were so f🐧king lucky the the birds weren’t hungry and didn’t try to peck their faces off while they were climbing the god damn lighthouse which is already hella dangerous even without the maniac birds trying to knock you down)

Well, what do we have so far

Even if Oswald does have some temper issues, he's capable of making some keen psychological tricks, making strategies and keep his head above water, the only thing that actually hampers him is his own pride (like in the episode with Team Penguin. He does have some leadership qualities but he turns from leader into boss quite quickly thinking of himself only)

And, importantly, he is being at some level realistic and objective realizing that none actually takes him seriously.

He understands that for most of the people he’s just a deformed and depraved man with a funny voice, who’s also a descendant of the aristocratic family which ran out of money and lost former authority.

And he uses it for his own good. He couldn't if he didn't, otherwise he'd choose way less twisted ways of behavior

He knew what would the people at the party see in him, so he could predict what behavior would cause the result he needed.

He understood Selina wouldn’t take him as a serious opponent, seeing him as a lonely slow-witted man or whatever, being sure that she can hook him as any other in such an unpretentious way she thought she would be able to make him do all the work instead of her. His awareness made her plans all exposed and clear

But all this negligence combined with his pride does hurt him though, no doubt. There’s a whole episode about it, when he occupied Bruce’s house.

He has his own reasons to envy and hate Bruce, by the way. They both are from rich families, both intelligent, strong and talented, but Bruce is more young and handsome, plus, his family business remained successful. At this point he is much more luckier than Oswald

I mean even if it gets to falling Bruse safely falls on tent and Oswald falls on the dirty ground through hell, fire and high boiling water (I don't give a shit that it had been made for the comedy matters)

Basically, the only thing Oswald is doing is trying to restore not only the family’s honor, but also his own with help of money and growth of his authority. Maybe even to show others and himself that he’s something more than just a garbage. That he's something more than he seems to be at the first sight

But as far as I can see Oswald has never been that type of poor kid with low self esteem crying in a shower with the lights off and who then starts to hide behind the wall of arrogance as he grows up. I mean right in this episode he says that his mother had always told him that he was a handsome one, so I think his parents loved him, maybe even spoiled at some point, and gave him confidence and warmth he needed.

Though well, to be fair, children are cruel, and of course they would react to the child who lookes like a victim of a crazy geneticist's experiment in a very specific way. Some would avoid him no matter what it takes, for sure some would get used to him and communicate normally, but some would mock and bully him severely. So of course he would start to protect himself

But sadly he went in wrong direction, since his confidence became arrogance and his ways became much more twisted and radical

Even as an adult he’ve chosen a really slippery slope, though. He could've chosen a different path, but (as I guess) he couldn't overcome his sense of injustice and his resentment towards people around him, who actually neglected and loathed him. So he just sank in his negative experience and sharpened himself as the lone survivalist, which made him egotistical to the point when he doesn't care about the others and can actually stumble in some situations, being sure he can't be wrong

His actions can't be justified, but they can be explained. Oswald is really very understandable character

There is actually no moral of the post

Just me coming to conclusion that The Batman's Oswald appears to be quite deep in the first seasons

Yes, I just wasted about 5 minutes of your life, and you can't take those back

But I can leave you with a question besides frustration

Why in the bloody hell are they holding each other?!

I mean come on

Few hours ago they revealed mutual betrayal, he almost killed her, dropped her on the froor so she couldn't run away with the thing he needed, and now they hold each other flying away on a jet-umbrella

And don’t f🐧cking tell me they do this because of the fear that if one of them falls the other will too

No f🐧cking way

Just imagine flying on the f🐧cking jet-umbrella, you will cling to it so tightly that one day you will take it into your grave with yourself because you will not be able to unclench your f🐧cking fingers after a single flight, but instead of holding the motherf🐧cking umbrella they hold each other

So is it a weird joke or a very thick hint?

Who knows

#the batman 2004 #batman 2004 #the batman #screenshot #batman #comics #dc comics #dc #dc penguin #batman penguin #the penguin #oswald chesterfield cobblepot #oswald cobblepot #batman catwoman #dc catwoman #selina kyle #longpost #shitpost #the batman penguin

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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years ago

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Survey #262

WoW will probably start to take over my life again tomorrow oof so expect surveys to slow down some.

What do you wish people wouldn't call you? The only one I don't really like is Girt calling me "kid." He doesn't mean it in a derogatory way or anything like that; he's just always called me that since I was a high school freshman and he was a senior. Now as an adult that's been through things I don't believe anyone deserves, it's kinda weird but more so frustrating as, regardless of his intentions, I somewhat feel belittled. I've never said anything directly about my discomfort, though, so it's my own fault. I just don't want to make him feel bad for doing it for years lmao. What do people say about your name upon learning it for the first time? They don't say anything; my name is very ordinary. Why did you choose the hair length you have? I have a few reasons. The biggest is because I was just bored of average, long hair, and the fact I was at the time having a very hard time with self-care. My hair would get incredibly knotted to where it was hard to even brush it sometimes. Makes me shiver thinking back on it. For my own sanity and ease, it needed to be gone. Also, with how STUPID hot I get, cutting it all off helped with the weight of my hair (it's v thick) but more importantly how hot it made me it the warm months. Zero regrets chopping it all off, omg. If your hair could be ANY color, what would you pick? At this very moment, I really want silver hair. Do you wish your hair was longer or shorter than it is now? It needs a trim. Do you think you're attractive? (It's okay to say yes =P) No; I think I wouldn't look ALL to bad if I lost some more weight (I've literally been on a weight loss plateau for two fuckin years). When I was perfectly healthy, I didn't think I was very pretty even back then, but now that I look back, I feel I was decently pretty. Not gorgeous, but. What is your favorite band? Ozzy Osbourne. :') What is your favorite movie? The Lion King. The second one is like directly behind it. Finding Nemo is also very precious to me. What is your favorite book or magazine? The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton and Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo. What is your favorite song? Ugh, this is impossible. I love way way too many. I suppose maybe... "Death Inc." by Motionless In White? Idk. What is your favorite color to wear? Black, duh. If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would you go and why? South Africa because I want to spend time with and take pictures at the Kalahari Meerkat Project and especially pet a Whiskers meerkat. I WILL cry. Meerkats literally changed my life. So many people I wouldn't know... If you got the chance and wouldn't get caught, would you cheat on a lover? NOOOOO the guilt though. Someone drops a fifty dollar bill and doesn't notice. Will you tell them? Definitely. I'd feel awful otherwise. Would you ever pierce something on your face? I already have my lip and tongue pierced, and I did have my nostril pierced, too. I want more, particularly an undereye microdermal if I can switch to contacts... which I don't like. I think it'd look pretty dumb with glasses. Are you selfish? EVERYONE should be to a degree depending on the occasion. Doing what is best for you is not a bad thing. Are you mean to people who are different from you? Wow no. I find people "different" from me interesting. Do you make fun of obese people? By the BMI definition, I am one of those people. So take a guess? Do you eat when you're upset? I have to fight that extremely hard, because I usually do experience the impulse to comfort eat when I'm very depressed. I've gotten way better at it, though. What if you had to choose between feeding yourself or feeding your pets? I honestly don't know for sure what I'd do... but I think I would prioritize my pets, honestly. It would break me to watch them suffer and lose weight. What if you saw someone being beaten on the street? YOOOO I READ THIS AS "EATEN" FIRST. But anyway I'd call the cops ASAP. There's a possibility I'd intervene if I felt myself capable of taking on the assailant. What if it was you being beaten? According to the night terrors I've had beyond count, curse like a motherfucker and fight back while calling for help. Who's the most important person to you (related)? Mom. Who's the most important person to you (non-related)? Sara. What's more important to you, happiness or success? Happiness. What's more important to you, your happiness or someone else's? Depends on the person. List the ten most important things to you: Oh, yikes. No order: 1.) My peace of mind, health, and happiness; 2.) my family; 3.) my pets; 4.) my career future; 5.) my friends; 6.) a YouTuber I've never met lmao; 7.) my pebble from my partial hospitalization program; 8.) Teddy's ashes; 9.) the Mark mug Sara gave me sobs; 10.) and the RP site I'm on. Like if it disappeared tomorrow with all the profiles and history and stuff I would break the earth in half oof. Have you ever lived in a mobile home? No. Have you ever had your bedroom in a basement? No. How many times in the past week have you eaten fast food? Hm. I don't think once. In the house - shoes, socks, slippers or bare feet? Bare feet.\ Do you consider dogs inside or outside pets? Usually indoor, depending on the breed and the time of year. What’s your favourite piece of furniture in your house? ig my bed? Have you ever had a crush on a friend’s parent? Yikes no. Do you prefer carbonated or uncarbonated drinks? Sucker for carbonated over here. Favorite thing that you can see up in the sky? A full moon. Would you rather eat at the table or in your room? I'm so used to eating in my room. Do you like the sound of birds singing when you wake up, or is it annoying? I love it. If someone gave you a kitten, would you keep it? I'd love to, but it'd really be my mom's choice. What’s your ideal activity for a rainy day? Nap oh lawd. Favorite type of cracker? Cheez-Its. Banana sandwich... yum or yuck? Only yum with peanut butter. Animal you like to watch but sort of creeps you out: Spiders. Bagels or English Muffins? Bagels. Do you like to daydream about sex? I do it sometimes. Which of your parents do you laugh more with? My dad is really funny. Have you ever been to an open casket wake or funeral? Wake, yes. Who mows the lawn at your house? A family friend. Have you ever written a story from beginning to end? When I was little and was writing that meerkat story, yes. I started on the sequel but didn't get far. What’s a big turn on for you? Being genuinely interested in what makes me me. Actually wanting to know the littlest things about me. Just show sincere interest. Are you doing anything tomorrow? I do know I'm fuckin finally getting my laptop home. Does your car have a name? N/A Do you own clothes from any celebrity clothing lines? No, but a bitch is getting a Cloak shirt or hoodie at some point. Who was the last person you ranted about? My bitch of a cousin for being a disrespectful fuck when all my dying grandmother wants is to talk as a group with the whole family. I ranted to Mom though, not in the group chat because I'm actually mature enough to not talk shit when, again, all our grandma wants is peace and love between us at the end of her life. I was SEETHING. Know any magic tricks? I don't remember any. I LOOOOOVED those magic kits as a kid, though. Is there music in your head right now? Right now "Dirty Pretty" by In This Moment is on, so does that count as "in my head?" Would you like to become a dancer? It'd be very cool, most certainly, and due to taking dance classes so long, I tend to think of potential dances in my head when I hear like... any song, lol. I'd love to be one if I had the grace and endurance + no hyperhydrosis. Name one person of the same sex as you you wouldn't mind doing: Hunny I'm bisexual, there's a lot, lmao. Dream woman? Uhhhh. Maybe my friend Alon. She was like one of my first hints I wasn't straight, lmao. But idk, I find soooo many women to be attractive. What is the most gory film you've seen? One of the Saw movies. What a surprise, ik. Ever fallen down a hole? ZOINKS no. Do you work better in a clean or messy environment? Clean, durr. Do you know any vegans? Only online. Do you like bananas? I am VERY picky with bananas. They have to be perfect. My preferred ripeness lasts only like, two days. .-. What's a film you've seen that confused you? Oh boy, idk. I don't watch many films... especially if I'm confused and the plot isn't great, I'll stop watching. WAIT!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!! I went to see Warcraft when it came out and I was so fuckin lost just because the orcs' voices are so goddamn deep that I just sat there like "uhhhh sir come again????" I didn't play Classic, and I'm not great at remembering every aspect of the plot, so. I'm to this day p confused lmao. Do you ever wear black lipstick? I really only ever wear black. What is next to your bed? I have a white shelf to my left where I put my meds, a drink, the fan... that kind of stuff. My cat's food bowl is to the right of it on the floor. Are your fingernails dirty? Nope. Have you ever fell for someone believing you could "fix" them? Not for that reason, no. Describe a picture of yourself that you hate: LASKJDLKFJAOWJE my friend took a picture of me eating a hot dog once and joked she was putting that shit on Facebook and it was funny as shit but thank Christ she was in fact joking. Would you rather play a good or an evil character in a play? While I'd love to be the evil one, I'd probably make it too cheesy because I am a BAD actress. Has anybody ever lied to you just to impress you? Story of one of my "best" friendships. What's your favourite shade of blue? Baby blue, probs. Can you remember a world before iPods? I do indeed. On rides to school when I sat in the back, I would bring one of those portable CD players with me to play discs. Where did you go on your last date? I can't remember the place's name... Lume's? Something like that? Breakfast place in Illinois. Do people find you "cute"? It happens sometimes. Who does the best remixes? Oh idk, I don't pay much attention to this. Where do you get your news? Facebook, lmao. What social stigma does society need to get over? What DOESN'T it need to get over???? What was the last photo you took? Probably something funny on Facebook to send to Sara lmao. I will get memes to her some way. What mythical creature do you wish actually existed? As badly as I want to say dragons, I don't think it'd be a great idea, heh... Maybe dryads. What are you interested in that most people aren't? As of recently, TARANTULAS. I've fallen in LOVE with them. What's the most ridiculous thing you have bought? No clue. What sounds hit you with major nostalgia every time you hear them? The gem collecting sound from Spyro. It was my text ringtone on my last phone! I need to move it over to my current one. What was the biggest realization you have had about yourself? I was possibly the bigger villain than Jason in the breakup. But idk. What topic could you spend forever talking about? Gay rights. Which way should toilet paper hang, over or under? In the original patent, it was designed as going over. GMM knowledge. Therefore I find over as correct, BUT I ultimately don't care like... at all. I don't even really notice when I go in the bathroom. Are you usually early or late? Usually slightly early. What do you wish you knew more about? Politics so I could be a more helpful member of society alksdjfka;lw What is the most annoying question you've been asked? It's not really like, annoying I guess, but the closest would be just how frequently people see my lip ring and ask if it hurt. It's incredibly sensitive skin, and even if it wasn't, a needle went all the way through it. Like... guess. News flash: being stabbed hurts, lmao. Like I always explain that it's not awful, but duh, there is pain. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Yummm chocolate. What was the worst phase in your life? 2020 thinks it's a bad guy, but lemme tell ya, shit's got nothing on 2016. Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream? I hate sprinkles on anything. Just an annoying texture with negligible flavor. The last time you went out to eat - what did you order? It was just a milkshake. Do you have all 32 teeth? I'm missing two wisdom teeth that just never grew in. Do you know how to do the moon walk? Never tried. What is one of your favorite comedy movies? White Chicks. Has anybody ever told you that you have a good singing voice? Yeah. I don't think I do. Onion rings or french fries? Fries. Not an onion ring fan. Who is the best cook that you know? Sara's mom is great, omgggg. She's cooked things I generally don't like yet I wound up enjoying. Can you name 3 different dinosaurs? Let's see: Spinosaurus, stegosaurus, velociraptor. I was a dino kid, man, just gettin' started. *finger guns* What's the largest amount that you can juggle at one time? I can’t juggle. What was your favorite thing to go on at the playground as a kid? I'd daaaash for the swingset. Do you know how much you weighed at birth? How much? Ummm I think 6-something pounds? 7? Where do you spend most of your time at? At home. In my bed. Exciting stuff, y'know. What noise does your favorite animal make? If my memory serves me right, they have over 40 vocalizations, but I'd say barking and chirping are the most ordinary/basic. Have you ever fallen in the toilet when you were little? lol I don't think so. What is the best kind of mac & cheese? I'm a basic-ass Velveeta bitch lmao. Who is your favorite oldies band? Boy oh BOY, you're asking a classic rock/metal addict. Of course it's Ozzy tho. But I love soooo many!! What is your favorite farm animal? Pigs! Do you like to play Monopoly? I'm not a big fan, no. What is the most fun restaurant you have ever been to? I like the vibe of Buffalo Wild Wings. Or I just have good memories there. What size bra do you wear? I'm actually not sure. I haven't bought new ones in a while and I don't think the ones I currently have are the right size anyway. Do you have a ceiling fan in your room? No. Who was your favorite Sesame Street character? I don't remember too well, but I think Cookie Monster? What about Muppet? Idr. What was going through your mind during the presidential campaign? I am sadly paying no attention. What do you think of the Duggar family ( 17+ kids )? Could you handle taking care of that many children? Ew, hell no. I don't believe the number of children warranted in a family should be legally monitored, it's much more difficult than that, BUT RATHER I'm very firm about knowing when it's more than enough. Population control is a thing. NOBODY needs that many kids imo, not even close to that. So far, what is the number one, best decision you have ever made? How has it affected your life? Letting go of Jason/accepting life without him. It has made my life much, much brighter and healthier. Have you reunited with any old friends recently? Was it awkward, or just like old times? No. When was the last time you talked to your first ex? February of 2017. Wow... been a long time. How different is your online personality from your offline personality? I am MUCH more outgoing and talkative online. What are your favorite holiday-themed movies? Jim Carrey's How The Grinch Stole Christmas, Hocus Pocus, The Nightmare Before Christmas, etc... Do you listen to Christmas/winter-themed music when the season comes around? No. Is there anything that you do that’s potentially controversial? Yes. What is your most recent obsession? Most recent, whew, tarantulas. I'm really gonna try talking Mom into letting me get one when/if we move. Do you say “merry Christmas” or “happy holidays”? To you, does it really matter which one is said/you say? Do you do your best to remain politically correct? Instinctually, I say "merry Christmas;" that's what has always been said around me. I personally see zero problem in calling it whatever... Like just appreciate someone wishing you well. You get the concept, and that's all you really need imo. As for political correctness, I'm kinda... down the middle? Like I feel it's been taken way, way too far, but I see some caution in wording as wise. If you could relive one week of your life, which would it be, and why? Would you do anything differently, or keep it all the same? Ugh, my first visit at Sara's. I just loved it so, so much. I think I wouldn't change a thing. It felt perfect. Is there a part of your life you wish you could remember, but can’t? Sometimes when I take these surveys and they ask "how old were you when...", ha ha. Frustrates me. What was the last thing/event to trigger a painful memory? It was last night, actually. The Final Fantasy VII remake is out, and I started watching a YouTuber I like play it. Jason got me to play the original, playing it a lot when we spent time together, but I only got a bit beyond half-way through before my PS3 broke. Cherished memories, so it was decently triggering indeed. I loved the game though and ABSOLUTELY want to see it played out in its entirety, so I shoved past the pain and am glad I did. Now I'm anxiously awaiting the next video aljkdsjfawe Y'ALL I wanna play more FF. What do you think of people that choose not to vote? I can't say anything, seeing as I never have voted before... Are you keeping anything from the people you love? Nothing important, no. Have you ever written a suicide note, whether joking or not? Yes, and that stupid novel is one of my biggest regrets. Who the FUCK would joke about that, though. When was the last time you let something ‘go to your head’? Not even like an hour ago. This happens allllll the time. When are you most likely to show off? Maaan Guitar Hero used to be good for that shit, ha ha. I was an expert at that back in its day. I haven't played it in forever, and on the rare occasion I do, I am suuuper rusty. Which would you prefer: spectacular view of the ocean, or of the mountains? MOUNTAINS!!!!!! Do you follow any dating rules/play any dating games? No. When was the last time you felt extremely confident about something? ME????????? CONFIDENT???????????? WHAT A CONCEPT!!!!!!!!!! When was the last time you blew the seeds off of a dandelion? Wow, not a clue. Probably not since we lived at my old house and I would go on walks down the path. What was the last thing that happened that you couldn’t explain? Oh I dunno. What do you do with all of your spare change? I just keep it in my wallet. Where did you hear about your all-time favorite band? He was and still is one of my mom's favorites! How many cans of soda do you drink in a day? AHHHHHH soda is my biggest nutritional weakness. I refuse to let myself drink more than one a day now though. It's funny and disgusting, when I was HEALTHY AND SKINNY I could on a rare occasion start a fourth can in a single day. Nowadays the thought almost makes me shiver. What is the oldest thing that you own? and the newest? The oldest thing, ummm. Not sure. Probably a stuffed animal in the attic. I just got two new books today! Is there anything you wish you had never found out about? Yep. A number of things. What is something that you refuse to believe in? Astrology. What is something you wish more people believed in? Gay rights. What food is your ultimate comfort food? Ice cream. Have you ever put anything inside a time capsule? What? OMGGGG I remember doing this in elementary school as a class! I don't recall what was in it, though. Is there too much violence on tv, or are people to sensitive? Too sensitive, but also negligent. It's got a lot to do with raising, imo. Don't show kids wild shit at too young of an age, and when they are shown this kind of stuff, you make it obvious that the behavior/content is unacceptable irl. Entertainment is not responsible for someone's shitty actions made with their own volition. What is something you used to fear, but no longer do? My first huge fear was thunderstorms. Now I enjoy them lol. Do you think it’s important to know a 2nd language? Not mandatory, no. Especially depends on if you're going anywhere. Do you know anyone that’s just naturally good at almost everything? My old friend Hannia IMMEDIATELY came to mind. She was the best in class GPA-wise, first chair for flute in band, and just in general STUPID talented. Do you know anyone that’s just bad at everything? BITCH ME What is one emoticon you use often? A sarcastic :^) or <3 What is one emoticon you almost never use? A lot, particularly ones with equal signs for eyes.

#survey #quiz #questions

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optimisticcritique · 7 years ago

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Gotham 4x17 - Review

The season is getting close to the end, things are about to get crazy(er). Let’s see what crazy stuff happens this week. Tagging characters that I mainly focus on in the review. Sorry if it is kind of long.

Getting right into the action! Go get him Bruce!

How did Jerome have time to get dressed, meet back up with Scarecrow, release Tetch, and send Tetch to hypnotize the guy before Bruce got there? He wasn’t that far behind Jerome. No GPS? Was he stuck in traffic? Maybe Tetch hypnotized his way through the traffic to get there first. I mean, that’s what I would do if I could hypnotize people.

Xander…yeah, seeing spoilers, I predict this is Jerome’s twin brother, right? This is the one time I wish I hadn’t seen spoilers, no big reveal.

Oh boy, he has a bomb. Duck and cover!

See, now Jim and Harvey aren’t that far behind Bruce. Did they take the short cut?

Bruce trying to help the guy. I love it but I don’t know if it’ll work.

Question: Why did Tetch hypnotize the guy to trigger the bomb by a clock? Wouldn’t it make more sense to have him press it on like a key phrase (like “if someone asks you about Jerome/Xander, press it”) so that Bruce couldn’t have time to jump away? Or was killing Bruce (or anyone else) not the intention?

Shooting the clock! Quick thinking. Learning tricks from being a Tetch survivor.

Aaand he has a watch. Of course he does. Well, at least you tried.

Wait, it’s the dinner already? That happened fast. How did Jerome get them all together? How did he contact Oswald and Oswald just agreed? Did it take some time or was he reluctant at first? Were they all agreeable at first? Did he threaten them? Bribe them with free food?

This is the villain dinner I always wished for…if you had told me we would have all these villains together in one place seasons ago, I would have been floored. I probably would have freaked out, running down the street while yelling “Yessss! Bring me all the villains! A few years can’t come fast enough!!!!” as all the neighborhoods stare at me.

I love villains interacting. I also love seeing characters that have been previously introduced, having scenes with one another that they have never shared scenes with before. It’s the individual character build up and mixture of personalities.

The only thing missing from this wonderful dinner is Ed :( I guess The Riddler isn’t considered “freak” enough for them…

“Put all questions on ice until the end” Awe the ice puns. Well great, now I want to know what Victor’s question was going to be. I do love how he just raises his hand, like he’s in school and trying not to interrupt the teacher.

“Mr. Oswald” lol well, that’s an interesting choice. I would have thought he would call Oswald by his Penguin name. Really gives me Ed flashbacks to “Mr. Penguin”, which is fun.

Oh Oswald looks just…I have no words. What a fashion icon. I love his fur coat and hair. Real perfection. Fish would be so proud! One of these days, I really want to see him doing his hair in an actual scene, instead of being off screen. I’m curious how long he spends on it.

This is Sofia’s old place that Oswald took over XD Wait, Oswald hosted? Option A: Jerome barged into the house and just told Oswald that they are having it there or Option B: Oswald wants to seem supportive, just so he can be involved and know what is coming for his city. Me: Probably both.

“Anything for a friend” pfft uh huh. I bet. He is probably planning a back stab or just waiting for Jerome to fail.

Got to say, I wasn’t sure about the new scarecrow actor but he’s pretty good. His facial expressions are dead on.

Yeah, Oz doesn’t seem very keen on these plans. His facial reactions say it all.

He’s probably thinking either “What I have I gotten myself into” or “I should have made more food”

Alfred!!! Where have you been? Been partying? Taking a spa day for a couple of episodes?

Jim, no! Let Bruce do his thing! Sure, he could potentially die horribly but be reasonable here…

Yeah, Bruce will not take no for an answer. Will Jim change his mind or will Bruce take on a mask again?

“Maybe he wants him to build him something” You can’t fool us! We all know what he is really after!

Yeah, that woman is probably regretting not calling in sick to work today.

Jerome trying to whistle… it wouldn’t surprise me if that is the only thing he hates about his new stitched up face. Who cares that his face is different…he can’t whistle anymore!!!

“Don’t bother going to security! They are all…headless” Wait, you have a gun. You could shoot them in the heads but not cut off their heads. How are they headless?

“Drop the gun!” “Oh you are such a stick in mud” Would you have preferred a western style shoot out or for him to just be like “Oh hey Jerome. Go on ahead and do what you do with the gun. Have fun” as he casually walks past you?

Xander knowing Bruce’s father…hmm…

“What time is it?!” Tool-no-Mail-no-Extra time!!! “Riddle time!!!” …that was my next guess.

Wow, everyone is so loving this. I guess this has been going on for quite awhile.

Speaking of which, what did happen between that pier scene and now? Did Oswald and Ed become friends again? Make a deal? Just go their own ways? I feel like there is something missing here.

Oh, you know Ed is just loving this. This reminds me of that episode back in season one (1x09?), where he is listening to a game show on the radio and answering the questions as he is working. You know that was one of his inspirations for this!

Bet you that brief case has no money even in it. The Riddler is just that cocky.

“The street demons!” Lol the way that he says that! I just love it when he does voices or accents. Pulling out all the stops to make things extra.

The Riddler totally doesn’t even seem like he cares about what is going on in this guy’s life.

How happy he gets when he hears “Riddler”. Not many people have called him that in the show yet, have they?

“I’ve fallen on hard times but happy to be here with you Riddler” I relate to this on a spiritual level. Ed making my week better <3

Ooh this Lila has the best get up. Please tell me Ed made it himself.

Lars, you are over thinking! Don’t ever over think it!

I would half expect the crowd to give out answers but you just know they want to see people getting tortured.

“Rabid sack of rats” Awe man, I was hoping for the barracuda stapled to the forehead….you know, for curiosity purposes…

“Enough!” Nooooo! Never! Don’t ruin this Lee!

I actually saw an interview right before this episode, with Cory saying the episode will end “hot” and “romantic”. It won’t surprise me if Lee/Ed kiss by the end of this.

Wow Lee, you look stunning. Love the new hair. Also love Ed’s too.

What’s up with the new hair styles lately though? First we mourn see Jervis and Harvey getting their longer hair cut. Now we see Ed and Lee both have hair cuts, with Oswald serving up a new hairstyle. Did we miss a national “change your hair day” in Gotham or something? Or did one person do it and the rest got jealous so they changed their hair too? Or did the actors all decide to get new hair styles at the same time?

“We put Oswald on ice” you make it sound like you both attempted to kill him or something. The vagueness.

So I guess Ed knows about Sofia. Is he impressed with her doing that or not so because she didn’t finish the job?

“Whatever the hell this is, it’s over” “I don’t think so” I’m just waiting for this to be turned into a reaction gif. Like, people upset about something to Gotham writers and Gotham writers going “I don’t think so” or vice versa.

“And my name…is The Riddler” Awe so we are on this again. So, he still isn’t whole. Funny how he is still saying this to people a season later. Also, Oswald called him Ed…but maybe it is because he called him The Riddler first? Or “because we have history” thing? …Even though he and Lee technically have history too, with working together at the GCPD.

*challenges Ed* First: Lee that is bold and I am impressed with you. Second: Noooo! I knew this was going to happen but I didn’t want it to happen so quickly. We only got to see him have one contestant, who we didn’t even see get tortured. Let Ed/Cory have more fun! Let us have our showman Riddler!

Who is this woman? Just a random character that’ll die this episode or the next?

Umm are you implying Jerome is a dog? ;) Also, isn’t that cage a little bit small to fit Jerome in? I just picture her trying to push and squeeze him into that cage, just barely closing it.

Oswald and Butch reunited again! I kind of missed their…complicated relationship to be honest. They also have a long history, probably knowing each other as long as Oswald knew Fish so I can only imagine what Oswald will think of this new Butch.

Oswald’s eyes when he sees Butch. Yeah, totally unprepared for that.

“I will be honest, I like it…” It’s like when a friend pretends to like your bad hair cut, even when they know it looks bad.

“Just came from brunch with Jerome Valeska…” Oh yeah, that’s a great way to start this. He says it so casually, like it was just an everyday civil affair with food and great conversation. Bet he thought he would never utter those words though XD

“Seemed to involve a great deal of paint” lol that was totally not the point of that, you forgot to mention the mass crazy Ozzie.

Oswald wearing green gloves with that outfit.

“You must be all out of allies” “Don’t be modest” Yeah, he still has Ed as an ally so he isn’t COMPLETELY out of allies. He has…one….

Again, what happened with Ed and why Butch? Option A: He asked Ed, Ed refused, saying he wanted to do his own thing. Option B: He started to ask Ed, Ed talked about a Riddle factory and he immediately went “yeah, nope. Never mind” Option C: He knows Jerome will want someone who is a “freak” to add to the group. Oswald also wants someone strong (let’s face it, Ed is not) and not easily killed. Butch fits that mark, not Ed. He doesn’t want Ed to get involved with this mess either. Which I think is the most likely. Option Q: Forgetting own writing.

Oh, you just totally made him angry. You won’t like him when he’s angry! …Wait, totally wrong universe and different comics.

Okay, I know you look bad now Butch. But look at the bright side, you’re strong, you’re practically immortal, and-with a good hair dye and spray tan-you could look fairly the same. Think positively!

*pushes Oswald on the floor* Nooo! Don’t ruin the majestic hair and coat! They must be protected at all costs!

I don’t know why but, even though I already love Oswald, this episode has made me love him a million times more… *stares at his hair and coat* Not sure why…

“like a flower” well, that choice of words is threatening but also not.

Oh sure, you only want them involved when you want something. It’s a two way street, Jim. Now you have to let him risk his life and you can’t say a thing.

“I love you” In your own twisted way, I bet.

*does a heart with his hands* Jerome fans: Awe that’s what we do when we see you on screen… :’D

He’s freely letting Harvey and Jim in? No booby traps? It kind of looks like a place that would have traps like that.

Ecco! In the same episode as the riddle factory…Some say this woman would be Harley Quinn because she is devoted to this guy…I kind of doubt it. There is also an Echo who worked with the Riddler (although I think Query was the blonde, not like it matters) The name is spelled wrong so she is most likely a throw away character but…why Ecco? Why use a similar name to tease fans?! Why?!

“Oh my god, there’s two of them!” Oh Harvey…seriously, this is a Cameron/Jerome fan’s dream right there. Not one but two? Alittle over a season ago one didn’t exist and the other was “dead”.

“Please don’t touch that! That is very sensitive equipment” Yeah, sure looks sensitive to me. Especially the couple of buttons that turns it on.

Jerome doing yoga because why not?

Him waving right when Jim sees… o_o It’s like he knew…

How much you want to bet that someone followed Jerome? If Firefly followed to the office, you can bet he didn’t go see Ecco on his own. It’s the only way I can see him getting out of there.

“She thinks stapling a live barracuda to someone’s head isn’t damn good entertainment” The nerve! Wait…did he just say “damn good”? Has he ever said that word before? :O But your fake swearing was so pure, what has the world done to you?!

I think it is interesting that he only puts his hat on when he speaks a riddle.

I’m not going to even attempt these riddles. I suck at logic.

Scenes like this make me wonder if we will ever get a “whole” Ed or just get this Riddler from now on.

Wow. Who knew the Riddler was so upset about all this?

Lee’s face…yup, she got what she wanted. Smart cookie right there.

The Riddler totally played himself.

Haha! Called it! Knew he would be followed. Don’t underestimate him.

“If I knew this thing was a 100 acres, I would have stopped and had a sandwich before we came” Harvey, you are so relatable. I don’t blame you. My ship of Harvey + food continues to sail. The ship I can always count on <3

“The End” Wait, is the episode over? Is this where the story ends?

Wow, the acting right here is so good. I keep forgetting both Jerome and Jeremiah are both Cameron.

“His bearded sidekick” Hey! He has a name and thy name is Harvey!

“Born bad” that’s lousy reasoning.

Ooh so he lied? Well, this intrigues me. I am so skeptical of this guy. I just know there is more to him than meets the eye. I don’t believe this facade!

“You killed our mother” “She did deserve it though” Lol no care whatsoever. Again with the lousy reasoning.

“Listen to what I have to say” “Oh hell no! You are not hypnotizing me again!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHH!” *Jervis and Jonathan run for their dear lives as Harvey charges towards them* ….LOL Oh my god. Harvey, you are a blessing to this world. Most iconic moment. He is so done with Jervis. The way he just let out a war cry, causing the duo to flee is just…it’s beautiful. I’m dying. I will never be over this. Favorite part of the episode. Batman should take notes.

Jim being like “Welp, okay then” as he follows Harvey.

Just imagine Harvey chasing them all around the maze, with the video sped up and silly music playing. Or slowed down with suspenseful music playing.

“Must go! Must go! They’re after me and the Scarecrow!” Oh my god I love this so much. I am going to put this on a loop forever.

I love how Jonathan doesn’t even try spraying or anything. He just follows Jervis wherever he goes. I am loving this duo.

Jerome watching them run off like “whatever”.

*can still hear Harvey screaming* Me: *is dead*

*kisses Jeremiah’s head as he flees* Awe brother love…nothing like wanting your sibling dead and in misery one minute and kissing him in the next.

Whoa. That disappearance happened fast. Did he find a prototype invisible jet or something? Or did Jervis just have the car right outside the door, Jerome leapt in, and they drove away as fast as possible? Scratch that, they are totally hiding on the side of that building, shushing and tip toeing away.

The Riddler being all cocky and smug. Yeah, you probably won’t be feeling this way in a few minutes…

Hey, even I know this riddle! Oh, I see what you are doing there Lee.

It’s simple Ed. Just look at the audience as you say “I love you”. There you go!

Wow, he is pushing Ed back so much that he risks losing in front of an entire crowd.

Lee outsmarting him, good on Lee but sucks for the riddle factory :( I feel robbed.

A little bit late but I’d like to imagine Ed making all of these props himself. Cutting out a giant wheel, painting it, sticking two giant beakers together…

Wait, Oswald knows how to reverse it? Will it actually work though? I kind of feel like it would be a bummer to get rid of Grundy after all this…

Hugo Strange! Of course it’s Hugo. If it is monster related, it’s always Hugo lol

Yay! Oswald and Butch team up once more!

Poor Ed losing his riddle factory. A loss for us all :’(

“they didn’t come here because they love you, Ed” Wow, that’s harsh.

“Because I know what you really want…” Validation? Wait, no… Lee: *pulls out the glitter suit from thin air* The Riddler: :’D You found it! I thought I lost it!

Knife to the neck! Always going for the neck.

Oh, they are totally going to go on a robbing spree. Does Lee really need the money? Or is this also a way to appeal to The Riddler to get him back on her side?

….

I am reserving any specific opinion/judgement on this situation until I see more of it. But I definitely see some manipulation at play here. The question is, is it just one or both manipulating? I am actually a bit surprised Lee would play this card.

Oh, I can just imagine reactions from others. Jim, Harvey, Oswald, Butch, Barbara…they all have a decent history with both of them.

The music is the same music that played when Ed killed Kristen. Hmm…This does not bode well. It never does for Ed and anyone he is involved with.

“I don’t know. I thought it already was” Oh, you have no idea how mad this city can get Harvey…you don’t even technically have the Joker yet.

No! Not Carl! We hardly knew thee. Justice for Carl!!!

*Jerome punches Grundy’s shoulder, shakes hand* Parallel to when Ed high fived him and did the same thing. Probably like hitting a brick wall.

Joker toxin!!!

The Jervis reaction XD Like, he knew the plan right? He looks so shocked.

Everyone’s reactions emoticon style: Jervis: 😮Jonathan: 😬 Jerome: 😆 Bridgit: 🙂 Victor: 😏 Butch: 😕Oswald: 🐧

Oh god that looks painful. Looks like the “fun” is about to begin.

Man, if Jerome does end up dying, I won’t know how to feel. Jeremiah intrigues me and I think he will eventually grow on me but...he doesn’t have the same history that Jerome has with the characters. Why even have the twin twist? ...I guess I’ll just have to wait to see how it all plays out before deciding what I think. I will say, at least Cameron will still be playing him so it isn’t gypping him from the role.

Over all: Good episode. I felt like some of it was a bit fast paced. I was a bit surprised by how quickly the dinner began, Jerome got his info, the riddle factory ended…that being said, some good villain interaction and Harvey being amazing. The legion of horribles succeed in finding Jerome’s twin brother Jeremiah, the GCPD to put Jeremiah in protective custody, the Joker toxin has been created, Ed/Lee kiss while deciding to go rob banks, and Oswald recruits Butch in promising he could reverse his condition by finding Hugo Strange.

Previous Review: 4x16 Next: 4x18

#gotham #oswald cobblepot #edward nygma #jerome valeska #gotham 4x17 #harvey bullock #optimisticcritque gotham review

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kaldwinenterprise-sydicate · 7 years ago

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Interview | Dante and Delia

"Armani, Rubinacci, Hugo Boss...Mr Kaldwin, I'm afraid I don't know anything about these brands." Maybe she wasn't right for this job after all. Dante Kaldwin seemed to be fashionably inclined but with the handicap of not wanting to pick out his own clothes. Oz also cared about clothes and brands, but he didn't waste his breath trying to explain men's tailoring to Cordelia. Just women's, on occasion. "Do people wear ties anymore?"

"It isn't so much about the brands," Dante said, flipping through a magazine, his legs folded dramatically on his chair's arm. "As its about how it looks on me." Looking good was apart of the underground boss job description. "General rule of thumb- fur, yes. Royal purple, yes. Yellow? Burn it." Unless, of course, it was gold. Dante was born to be gilded. The longer the redhead worked for him, the faster she'd get used to his wardrobe choices. And the more influence he could have on hers! The poor girl dressed like his grandmother.

Cordelia glanced down at her yellow cardigan apprehensively. She always thought yellow was a good color for her complexion... "Okay, so...fur, purple...blue, probably. Dark blue. That would bring out your eyes?" Did people like matching their eyes? "You wouldn't prefer clothing from brands that are more...ethical, let's say?"

"Anything that makes me glow. I like red in the mornings. Only put me in black if everyone else will be wearing color." What was important was standing out. "Oh, lord. Ethical sounds too much like ugly." Dante shook his head. "Pour us a glass of scotch," he ordered, "and then join me. I've been perusing Armani's spring collection, there are some do and dont patterns I can show you." Clothes and booze, nothing went together better.

Suppressing a sigh, Delia went over to the fancy minibar and poured two glasses of scotch. The stuff was insanely strong, but she was certainly not about to argue with Dante Kaldwin. At least, not today. "Here you go," she said, standing beside his chair and glancing over his shoulder at the magazine in his lap. The models in these catalogues didn't look like real people. They were almost vampiric in that way. These were certainly the men that her Maker followed for hairstyle inspiration. "Besides fashion, is there anything else you need me to be proficient in, Mr Kaldwin?" Apparently her fast typing and dictation abilities were not enough. She was already memorizing drinks and colors...Delia took a small sip of her drink and to look thoughtful rather than feeling like she'd just swallowed nail polish remover.

"My Maker once said that my fashion sense would make the saints cry."

"I can't speak for the saints," Nor would he ever want to. "But your fashion sense could certainly make me cry. Don't fret, button, I'll dress you up when we go out. " Dante tossed the magazine away. It would be more fun dressing up Delia than it was himself; he was so used to his own frame, the best colors and patterns. She'd be his new pet project. He walked away from his sitting area and toward his desk, thumbing through a few files. "You're going to memorize a list of my friends, their faces, names, jobs. When we go out to parties tell me who they are, what they do." Dante saw no point in remembering the information himself. "Pay attention to their lives, any gossip. I only convalesce with the best."(edited)

"Surely you exaggerating a little...Mr Kaldwin," she added, remembering herself. Cordelia liked to be comfortable. She and her sisters hadn't been raised with fashion as a forefront in their rearing, as much as books and manners were important. Still, she knew Rosalind, Ophelia, and Viola were all out there somewhere, looking far more put together than she. Of course, they were still human too. Always having to outdo her. "Wait---parties? You want me to go with you to parties?" The only party Cordelia had ever been to, besides birthday parties, was one for her graduation. She'd had two glasses of champagne and thrown up in a sink. And she assumed the sorts of parties Mr Kaldwin was talking about would be far more ritzy than those. She'd heard of the all out, glitzy, red-carpet affairs that rich people threw (especially when their venues were an actual casino). "I can memorize all of that but I can't dance or...or mingle." Please, don't let it involve dancing. "I think, in my professional opinion, that perhaps it would look far more impressive if you escorted a model or actress with you? I could stay here and man the fort, as they say."

"Dont worry, button! No dancing! No socializing." He didn't need her there to impress anyone; just to help him keep his bearings. "Well of course there will be models!"He looked at her, aghast. Dante believed that Ozzy's progeny would have a bit more.. confidence to her. "You're a vampire, darling. Your pores alone are enough to make a human woman sob." He downed his drink. "But there is work to be done here." Dante hated paperwork. He hated busy work. Anything that wasn't worthy of his time. "I have accountants, security- Oz to run this place. You know all of that. But someone needs to keep them all on the same page, and it sure as hell isn't going to be me." If Delia wanted to be his personal assistant (and be paid her weight in gold) she'd start taking notes now.(edited)March 1, 2018

"Mister Kaldwin, I assure you, I believe in my skills or I wouldn't have bothered signing up for this job. I believe in my intelligence, my strength of character, and my ability to be upfront and concise. For me, these are the things that matter. Not...pores. I can keep your business running fluidly, remember the names of those you deem mundane, and keep everything in order so that you may continue to run Kaldwin Enterprises to live up to it's impressive name. If that's what you want in a personal assistant, then you'll find no better. If you want someone to sit around and tell you how stunning your suit is and how immaculate your hair looks, then I'm afraid this arrangement will not work out. I was a school teacher, Mister Kaldwin. I can keep your security and your dealers, performers, caterers, bartenders, and even you in line, so help me."

Dante wandered over to his minibar, listening to Cordelia's pitch. He liked this better than the woman who wasn't meeting his eye earlier. Confidence was truly the only way into a Kaldwin's heart. "Good." He said simply when she finished, refilling his glass. "However you'll have to tell me I'm stunning every once in awhile or I'm afraid my ego may shatter." Moving back to his desk, Dante reached out and plucked the scotch from Delia's hand. "And I wont make you drink on the job." He winked, and finished off her glass. "Someone stole from me recently. I've never had you here before; you weren't apart of my staff so I know you weren't involved. I want you to find out who is." Oz was already on the job, but Dante had always thought that two minds were better than one. Unless of course, the one was his own. "Aside from your other duties of course. Tell me what you need. An office? Desk? Make a list and I'll sign the bill."(edited)

By the time she had realized that she'd mouthed off, Dante was already praising her, giving her interesting work, and asking her if she wanted a whole bloody office. She was quiet for a moment, not contemplating what sort of wood she'd like the desk to be but rather wondering if he was about to blow up. But he didn't, and she no longer had a drink in her hands to use as a social prop, so she supposed he was serious and expecting an answer. "Just...a desk, or part of a desk. Somewhere to store my things and whatever paperwork you send my way." Cordelia was also pleased that he was putting her on such an important assignment already, and clearly believing enough in her--well, most likely her vampiric abilities, but it still counted--to take care of something like high-stake theft on her own. Her shoulders finally relaxed slightly. "Looks like we have an accord, Mr Kaldwin. It will be a pleasure working for you, I'm sure."

#delia #interview

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beckyhop · 7 years ago

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I watched a crappy anti-SJW documentary today

I may have been re-listening to Hbomberguy’s Measured Response videos as background noise lately, and it inspired me, in between chores and drawing today, to check out the inspiration behind some of his early popular videos: the infamous “documentary” The Sarkeesian Effect.

I’ll fully admit to not having watched Anita Sarkeesian’s videos (making me about as knowledgable about her work as Davis Aurini himself), and my opinion on her is one of massive indifference, though I think she deserved none of the awful harassment she got. However, as a connoisseur of shit movies with questionable messages…this sounds like a goldmine to me.

I know I’m late to the party on this one, but screw it, a documentary shouldn’t feel limited to the time period it was created in. And even as someone who’s not interested in Sarkeesian’s videos, I don’t think that should matter because a good documentary shouldn’t just preach to the choir; it should be able to inform people who may not have any stakes in the game.

…emphasis on “should”.

For a better idea of what I’m in for here, check out We Hunted the Mammoth’s coverage. Also, this is a great opportunity to break out my updated Alt-Right bingo card!

So without further ado, here’s my notes on Jordan Owen and Davis Aurini’s The Sarkeesian Effect: Inside the World of Social Justice Warriors

First shot is of Jorden Owen’s “production logo”

Between the font choice and the accompanying sound, I think he’s trying to imitate the THX logo. It fails because it’s butt-ugly and the “JO42” is barely readable.

The movie proper starts with this quote:

“Our censure should be reserved for those who would close all doors but one. The surest way to lose truth is to pretend that one already wholly possesses it”

-Gordon W. Allport

Time will tell how ironic this choice may be.

The title sequence is a CGI shot going across a goddamn CONSPIRACY THEORY WALL, WITH THUMBTACKS AND STRING AND EVERYTHING. Good job establishing your side’s credibility already, Jordan.

OH YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT, THUNDERF00T’S IN THIS DESPITE DECRYING THE DOCUMENTARY LATER ON. Really, though, Jordan took out all mentions of Davis Aurini, so I’m surprised Thunderf00t’s still in this thing.

Speaking of Thunderf00t, does he always look like he just rolled out of bed, or is it just me?

Oof, I think Jordan Owen needs to get a new pop filter.

Alright, I think you can cut Anita a little slack for forgetting that Zelda was the main character in two of the CD-i games; Nobody wants to remember those, and they sure as fuck aren’t canon.

Bringing up the assumption that Anita’s an “art critic” is some rather flimsy justification for interviewing a traditionally attractive female erotic photographer, Owen. Also, WHY CAN I SEE YOUR HANDS IN THE SHOT, HAVE YOU NEVER WATCHED A GOOD DOCUMENTARY BEFORE.

God, that’s an awkward jump cut. You couldn’t throw in some B-roll to make that cut less awkward? AND WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS LIGHTING, COULD YOU NOT FILM HER IN AN AREA WHERE THE CHANGING OUTDOOR LIGHTING WOULDN’T FUCK UP THE WHITE BALANCE

The hell does Mallorie mean by not seeing female game characters as “women” and learning not to “anthropomorphize” characters, and only seeing characters as a means to further a story? Isn’t that kinda defeating the purpose of engaging in media? She’s acting like video games and all fictional characters should exist in a politics-free vacuum, when they really, really can’t. Taking away a character’s wants, desires, and their cultural implications kinda ruins the effect of a story, if you ask me.

Aggggh, the quick shots of each “social justice warrior” game critic are cut way too fast for me, I had to pause to actually read some of the names and credentials here.

Another interview subject who couldn’t be bothered to clean up his appearance before showing up on camera. Sigh.

AGGGGH, FUCKING FONT COLOR CHOICE, please tell me this is other peoples’ pet peeve as well.

I’ve seen documentaries where you could hear the interviewer’s voice in the interview, or see them actually in the shot, but those were usually done for a purpose (such as making the question being asked clear to the audience), and the interviewer themselves usually has enough screen presence to pull off actually being seen on camera (look at most Werner Herzog docs, for example). Jordan Owen has the screen presence of a mildewy sponge, and I don’t need to hear him go “right” and “uh-huh” every few seconds during interviews. I LEARNED THIS IN ONE GODDAMN CLASS IN COLLEGE, HOW HAS HE NOT LEARNED THIS YET.

Side note, I find it kinda eyeroll-worthy that, when listing logos of sites that have been pro-Sarkeesian, both Gawker and Kotaku are shown. Dude, Gawker owned Kotaku at the time you were making this, that’s a little redundant.

Also, as someone who has worked freelance, I don’t care much for Brad Wardell’s assumption that freelance writers are willing to work for free so they can push their agenda. Fuck you, buddy.

Black Sabbath quote, huh? Man, I’d love to see Ozzy Osbourne’s opinion on being dragged into this shit.

Oh god, more shit lighting, I should not be seeing goddamn artifacting or lighting glares from the mirror in this shot. And could you not nudge the camera tripod a little further down? Maybe fix the focus a little? And why is your fucking shoe in this shot?!

One of the subjects in this interview says that Sarkessian claims that anyone who enjoys media with sexist elements is a bad person. Again, I haven’t actually watched any of Sarkeesian’s stuff, but I think this viewpoint sums up a lot of angry gamers’ reaction to even the slightest criticism of anything they like. For the record, I don’t think you’re a bad person if you like something with problematic elements, but people are allowed to criticize media with sexist elements because how else are we going to progress?

Jordan. I know you had lapel mics on hand for this documentary. I know you and Davis got a LOT of money to produce this thing. Could you not make the sound quality a little better? Because I SHOULD NOT BE HEARING ANY ECHOING.

Was…was that an actual dip in volume? Where did you learn your skills, Jordan, the James Nguyen School of Sound Editing? Also, I had to move my left headphone speaker away from my ear for a second because I thought I heard something in the other room, and noticed that once I did, I could hear NOTHING the interview subject was saying. Fucking…can he not balance his audio channels?

These are the kinds of threats that several interview subjects think Anita should have just brushed off:

…you guys, uh, don’t see any bigger problem with women being called whores or being told to kill themselves over goddamn video game opinions? Okay then.

I’M ONLY 20 MINUTES IN.

“Police don’t just delete records…do they?” Uh, yeah. Sometimes they do. A quick Google search might have told you that.

You know, normally if the audio quality of a call is crappy, you put subtitles on the video. Just saying. Also, even if nothing comes of a terror threat, IT’S STILL LAW ENFORCEMENT’S JOB TO INVESTIGATE IT.

I don’t need to hear every intake of breath in your narration, Owen.

He…he’s actually using a fanfiction of Sarkeesian threatening Randy Pitchford and then killing him over Aliens: Colonial Marines as a talking point? What?! This documentary just got hilarious.

“Why would Anita Sarkeesian…endorse the spread of such a chilling snuff narrative?” Uh, because it doesn’t sound like it’s a very serious story, and anyway doesn’t most of the gaming community hate Aliens: Colonial Marines and Randy Pitchford’s attempts to brush over that controversy? I mean, I think a fanfiction that also costars Spider-Man and the Green Goblin should be taken way less seriously than actual rape and death threats.

Christ, if you’re gonna have lower thirds, keep them up long enough for people to read them without pausing, asswipe.

Wait, are you seriously crediting this guy as a Wikipedia editor? Isn’t that like crediting someone as a clothes-wearer? He also claims to have edited over 1,000 articles which…man, that’s a weak claim to fame.

Okay, so Wikipedia guy says he was trying to point out on the Talk page for Sarkeesian’s Wikipedia entry that there was nothing on there about how she once worked with a pickup artist (he points out this as hypocrisy, though let’s be real, we’ve all associated with people we grow to despise the views of later in life), and he claims that the Wikipedia admins were forbidding him to edit GamerGate related articles. Sounds to me like the higher-ups at Wikipedia were just getting really, really goddamn tired of vandalism on Wikipedia pages for people related to GamerGate, and this guy’s editing attempt just got lumped in with a lot of the bullshit.

Now the Honeybadger ladies are criticizing Sarkeesian for bringing up toxic masculinity and relating it to a then-recent mass shooting. I don’t deny the questionable nature of those comments, but you guys ARE aware she’s nowhere near the first (or worst) person to use a shooting to bring up one of their favorite talking points, right?

AGHHH, WHO’S MAKING NOISES RIGHT INTO THE MIC MY POOR EARS

Why is all the footage of Wikipedia guy so weirdly shot and edited? It looks like he’s trying to scoot out of the frame.

Oh hey, actual context for that “I’m not a fan of video games” clip I’ve seen floating around in gif form. Sounds to me in this video like she’s just too turned off by the video game fandom and the content of certain games to really consider herself a gamer. And from personal experience in other fandoms I’ve been in, I totally get it.

I never thought I’d see a gamer documentary actually defending Jack Thompson and his views on violent video games, after all the backlash I saw against him in the 2000s.

AGAIN with the awkward jump cuts, Jesus.

Oh, is Jack making the old “How can you get angry about THIS sexist issue when there’s BIGGER sexist issues out there” argument? Despite the fact that most feminists I know are capable of multi-tasking?

JIHAD! JIHAD! HE SAID THE MAGIC BUZZWORD! HE COMPARED HER TO RADICAL ISLAM!

Oh don’t try to one-up her in the Who-Got-More-Death-Threats Olympics, Jack. Also, wow, he actually sounds bitter that she got an award for her coverage (even claiming that awards undercut a critic’s credibility!) and that some people actually like her while he’s gotten nothing. Overall, Jack Thompson sounds like a whiny old man who’s mad that nobody respects him the way he thinks he should.

Thunderf00t is claiming that Rebecca Watson’s reaction to being propositioned at 4 AM during an atheist conference was overblown. Dude, in a society where women can and do get date raped under similar circumstances, I think she had every right to be creeped out and explain to men why she felt that way. And I don’t think she’s saying “all guys shouldn’t hit on girls” I think she’s saying “please consider if you’re coming across as a creep”. And let’s be real, a LOT of dudes don’t consider that.

Christ, how many instances are we going to get of a dude in this documentary trying to one-up a woman’s claims of harassment by saying “I’VE SUFFERED WORSE, GROW THE FUCK UP” Like…dude. It’s not about you.

What…what even is this bit of editing?

That’s how this shot is edited in the film, I swear to god.

Hoo boy, are we touching on the “PTSD is only for veterans” chestnut?

Hey, now I know the context of that one screencap of a feminist with bright red hair! And her name (Chanty Binx)! And it…sounds like she was just trying to make a point and was getting more and more pissed off that people were interrupting her? Really, this is what anti-feminists like making memes out of? (Also, she apparently later admitted she got pretty rude)

…wait, what does an “adult performer” have to do with any of this? Jordan Owen, I once again SERIOUSLY question your methods in picking interview subjects.

Okay, the performer, Mercedes Carrera, clarifies that she thinks that women who claim their failures (particularly in STEM fields) are rooted in misogyny are being ridiculous. She cites her own experience in a STEM field as proof. Ma’am, I don’t doubt your experience, but let’s not invalidate others’ here. Perhaps you were just lucky?

Apparently one of the interviewees thinks “mansplaining” is one of the most sexist terms ever. Pfffffffffffft.

Hey, come to think of it, in this section about “professional victims”, do we have any actual evidence that the women in question received any money for their victimhood? Maybe that might have helped your point, buddy.

One interviewee, Jim Goad, says “Do micro-aggressions EXIST in sub-Saharan Africa” WHAT IS HE EVEN TALKING ABOUT?

Seriously, why are so many of these interviews so weirdly cropped? Is this “artsy”?

Ugh, thanks a lot for reminding me of the existence of Shredded Moose, asshole.

Brad Wardell claims he didn’t know anything about the gross pornographic cartoon the Shredded Moose guy drew of Zoe Quinn when he reached out to said artist, and claims that Quinn and people on her side (including Jim Sterling!) were lying about him reaching out to him because of the anti-Quinn cartoon. Maybe so, dude, but you really, REALLY should have done some research on this artist before making that job offer. That’s just good business sense.

Oh, THAT’S why Mallorie Nasrallah’s an interview subject: she worked with Zoe back when the latter was a nude model, and claims that Zoe was a compulsive liar!…and this has anything to do with video games how? (also, not sure about verity of the compulsive lying thing)

You know, even if posting images of Zoe’s porny past doesn’t count as “revenge porn” in the strictest sense, the fact that people are bringing these up specifically to discredit her IS A GODDAMN PROBLEM.

This is the image Jordan uses when discussing “social justice warriors”:

…really making your side look mature there, bud.

Jim Goad compares SJWs to “cell warriors” in prison WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS DUDE ON.

Frankfurt School! Ooooh, bring up Cultural Marxism for the sake of my bingo card.

Now we’re seeing a collage of “SJW” game journalists and their respective publications. Shit, this was produced while Jim Sterling was still working at The Escapist, feels like that was forever ago.

Oh of course this documentary would feature people who hate the Southern Poverty Law Center.

More “wisdom” from Jim Goad: “When I was a kid, if you were a Communist or a homosexual, then you’d lose your career. Now communists and homosexuals are in power and are seeking to destroy the career of anyone who’s not down with their agenda.” OOOO! HOMOPHOBIA! I’m one “red pill” mention away from a bingo!

“Orwellian idea of hate speech”? You know, sometimes I wonder if the political Right ever actually understood George Orwell.

Oh for the love of…

STOP CROPPING THINGS SO WEIRDLY, JORDAN OWEN. Or was that Davis’ idea, given how similar this is to the editing of that Alt-Right Dogs trailer?

Citing Breitbart as a source? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh God, this feels even worse in the current political climate.

I’m an hour and 40 minutes in AND THERE’S 50 MINUTES LEFT, GOOD GOD JORDAN OWEN IS A TERRIBLE EDITOR.

I must not have ever looked too closely at this picture of Zoe Quinn before, because Jordan Owen’s constant use of it has made me realize for the first time she’s wearing a necklace with Sailor Moon’s Cosmic Heart Compact on it.

I don’t always wear jewelry, but I need to find out where she got that now.

Watching a segment on actual death threats aimed towards anti-feminists and Gamergaters, and I should mention that I’m not denying that harassment occurs from the other side of the debate. Death/terror threats probably shouldn’t be the first course of action against someone you disagree with, no matter where you fall on the political spectrum. That said, I’m not comfortable with the whole “Our death threats are worse than yours!” narrative this segment seems to be hinting at.

Wait is…is this how Jordan Owen censors out brand names?

Dude, a blur effect would have looked way better here.

So, why are we presenting the threats Brad Wardell got threatening to rape his wife and child as completely serious, but some of the similar threats that Anita got as “That’s awful, but it’s just how people are on the internet!” Shouldn’t both situations be concerning?

Seriously though, Jordan, thanks for using pics of Zoe Quinn that give me more inspiration to go find sweet-ass Sailor Moon necklaces.

(I want that jacket, too)

Oh NOW, after about a goddamn hour, we get back to Anita Sarkeesian, a.k.a. THE PERSON YOU NAMED THIS DOCUMENTARY AFTER.

Back to the Honeybadger ladies: “If our society were misogynistic…it would not work at all” Hello, I’m from the future-year of 2017, and do I have some bad news for you.

JIM GOAD SAID “BETA MALES”, I CAN CHECK OFF THE ALPHA MASCULINITY SQUARE!

On the #NotYourShield topic now. I don’t feel knowledgeable enough to speak about the racial minorities or trans people who took part in that movement (I am very white and very cis), but I will say that as a woman, I’ve certainly encountered my fair share of misogynist women (who usually justify themselves as being “better” than modern women).

…also, I’m gonna give Jordan Owen the benefit of the doubt and assume that this segment isn’t the documentary equivalent of saying “I’m not racist, I have black friends!”

And the PhD candidate you found to explain “false consciousness” is Christina Parreira, who is first and foremost credited as a sex worker. Now, I’ve got nothing against sex work, but that title seems pretty irrelevant to the subject at hand and just makes me continue to question how you picked half the female interviewees.

Holy shit, what is with this weird buzzy echo in this segment?

Jordan goes on to talk about feminist opposition to sex work and porn, and Parreira brings up Anita’s use of “prostituted women” for female sex workers, but using “sex worker” when referring to male characters in that industry. I certainly won’t deny that certain forms of feminism haven’t been kind to sex workers (there’s a reason the term SWERF exists), but I do think it’s unfair to ignore that there are issues with the porn and sex work industries that really need to be examined and dealt with. (Problems that, admittedly, could be solved partly by destigmatizing women who choose those lines of work)

Christine Parreira goes on to talk about how she broke away from feminism because other feminists didn’t get how she was a proud sex worker. I understand where she’s coming from, but I’d also like to point out that feminism isn’t the monolith Jordan Owen’s trying to present: there’s a reason why we have constant discussions about TERFs and “white feminists” and how feminism really needs to work on its inclusivity issues. It’s not a sign of how feminism has failed, it’s a sign that, like all political movements, it’s still got a long way to go.

And now a serious story about how a sex worker was raped in her home and, despite being informed about it, Anita and many other feminists ignored the story and crowdfunding efforts to support her. I really don’t have much to say about this part except I hope she did get the help she needed (Oh, and Mercedes’ Carrera’s comment about “we don’t get workman’s comp”? Perfect example of the sex industry problems I was talking about)

With all this pointed out, I should state that these notes are being written as I watch the movie, and I now realize why Jordan Owen brought in sex workers to talk about Sarkeesian. However, given that the sex work talk doesn’t start till after the 2 hour mark, it seems really, really odd for those couple of hours that he’s brought in sex workers to talk about a video game critic. If he were a better writer, director, or editor, I wouldn’t be questioning this. Fuck, if he were a better filmmaker, I don’t think this thing would have been two-and-half hours, period.

This is the second time Nick Robalik’s shown up in the film and I just NOW noticed the goddamn pizza box in the background.

I’m pretty sure most filmmakers don’t show their craft services in the film itself. And for god’s sake, WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THAT ECHO

So now Jordan Owen is criticizing the concept of “gamification”, and specifically using video games as a political mouthpiece. But…aren’t video games art? And isn’t there a long, rich history of art and political messages going hand-in-hand? JORDAN OWEN, YOU ARE A FAN OF SKELETOR, FOR GOD’S SAKE.

Oh and hey, speak of the (almost literal) devil, there’s a quote from Rand herself!

“Neither am I the means to any end others may wish to accomplish. I am not a tool for their use. I am not a servant of their needs. I am not a bandage for their wounds. I am not a sacrifice on their altars.”

Ironic, considering Rand’s being used as a tool for Jordan Owen’s use here.

Brad Wardell says that he was inspired to get into game programming thanks to Sid Meier’s Civilization and he wanted to know what happens “when that spaceship leaves Earth”. Well, if I may be a smartass here, he could’ve just waited for Alpha Centauri…

Ooooh, and now Jordan Owen gets all ominous as he builds up the reason why he and many others are mad at Anita Sarkeesian, and he describes it as “the unending fountain of rage from which we draw strength” and WAIT ARE YOU USING A SCREENCAP OF AN ARTICLE ABOUT THE PATREON CAMPAIGN FOR THIS VERY FILM TO ILLUSTRATE YOUR POINT?!

WHAT THE FUCK

And speaking of “what the fuck”, why is Jordan going into some monologue about the nature of virtue and morality and the will to live while zooming in on some stock animation of a galaxy?

I’m not kidding, this is an actual screencap from a film about Anita Sarkeesian and GamerGate:

Why is he talking about how we’re different from other animals this is a documentary about video game feminism

He’s claiming that feminists want to take fun and competition out of games. No, dipshit, most geeky feminists I know just want to feel comfortable in gaming communities.

Oh god, he’s comparing them to parasites, WHAT KIND OF DAVE SIM WINGNUTTERY AM I WATCHING NOW

He’s calling gamers “historically ostracized”?! Look, I know what it’s like to be bullied for being a nerd but…I still don’t think that’s the appropriate phrase here?

Oh god oh god oh god he’s claiming that feminists want goverment regulation of the gaming community what is this shit

He claims SJWs who want games to be “better” only want propaganda and can’t see the imaginative potential in games. Dude, making games more inclusive and diverse would, in my opinion, expand the creative possibilities in game design. I’VE LIVED THROUGH SEEING WAY TOO MANY GODDAMN GAMES FEATURING GENERIC BROWN-HAIRED STUBBLED STRAIGHT DUDES AS THE MOST IMPORTANT CHARACTERS FOR ME TO LET THAT ARGUMENT SLIDE.

He’s claiming that people who want to be represented in art simply want to use creators as mouthpieces. REPRESENTATION. DOES NOT. WORK THAT WAY.

He keeps using this animation to represent how SJWs want to beat opposition into submission or some shit and good God, man, you think the Left is fearmongering?

“It is not because we resent the idea of gaming’s expanding horizons, but because we know that there was never any limits in the first place” Except the limits of close-minded execs who only want to appeal to 13-year-old male COD players, of course. But you won’t touch on that, now will you?

And he pulls out the old “If you want representation, make your own stuff” argument. And yet, I do distinctly remember him deriding Gone Home as “D*ke Mansion 3D”, so even if someone took his advice, people like Jordan Owen would still complain about its political agenda. People do make their own diverse works and yet they still get pushback from anti-SJW types.

And a montage of gaming history to prove “how far we’ve come without [SJWs]”. I noticed a clip from one of the King’s Quest games in this montage, which is hysterical to me considering how many Sierra adventure game people refused to work with Jordan Own specifically because of the views he spouted in this very documentary.

I’m admittedly a little grumpy he included footage of one of my favorite game series, Portal, in the “We don’t need SJWs to make good games!” montage

And now a montage of the interview subjects telling what they’d say to Anita Sarkeesian if given a chance. One of the Honeybadger ladies pulls out the “get a real job” line, which, as someone working in a creative field, admittedly made me flinch.

Are…are some of these people trying to psychoanalyze Anita?

Well, if all else fails, Jordan, you could always get a job making overly-long montages for awards shows.

Oh, so you ARE at least crediting Davis for the videography! First of, I think you mean “cinematographer” or “director of photography” and second, holy fuck does that explain a lot given what I’ve seen of Davis’ camera work in other stuff.

Sargon of Akkad gets a special thanks! Another person who would (understandably) break ties with Davis Aurini!

And that was, undoubtedly, the worst documentary I have ever watched…

…at least, until I get around to watching Davis Aurini’s version.

And here’s the Alt-Right bingo results! Didn’t get the bingo I wanted, but I came REALLY damn close:

One last note: in the description for this video, Jordan Owen says "No, I am not returning to Sarkeesian/SJW related commentary." Good, because you suck at delivering said commentary.

#long post

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aceandsparrow · 8 years ago

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Survivor 34: Game Changers

[S] Oh yay, all star season. I already know who to hate. [A] I momentarily forgot the season's theme and was all primed to write down my thoughts on the cast, but right before I clicked on the video I remembered it was all returning castaways. So, you know, go Tai and Ozzy. [S] Guarantee Sandra doesn't make day 39.

[A] 17 years and 33 seasons? Damn. I was a freshman in high school when it started...I'm old.

[S] What? Fiji? They've never been here before right? *rolls eyes*

[A] I beg to differ, Jeff. Not ALL these players "changed" the game. Exhibit A: Tony. [S] Nearly none of these people have "changed the game." And key people who have changed the game aren't here. Stop trying to force stupid themes.

[S] Pretty sure Debbie is the leading cause of suicide among Survivor fans age 0-infinity.

[A] I'm starting a list of Debbie's professions for this season. *It looks like they're only listing their previous season instead of professions, but you know she'll inevitably talk about her "jobs"*

1. Captain in the Civil Air Patrol ([S] "As a captain in the Civil Air Patrol." Ugh...)

[A] Wow, JT has aged [not well]. [S] Holy crap Ozzie looks old.

[A] Didn't you have a crush on Andrea? [S] Andrea is definitely cute, yea.

[A] Ozzy's first in the water? Not surprised. Also not surprised no one challenged him. It's fricking Ozzy.

[A] TAI BETTER GET A CHICKEN.

[A] I feel like the blue tribe just got everything in that scene. Orange had all hands on deck and their raft looks sparse.

[A] GODDAMNIT ZEKE STOP WITH THE ARMY/WAR LANGUAGE. I HAD ENOUGH OF IT LAST SEASON. YOU ARE NOT A WARRIOR. YOU ARE A CHARACTER FROM THE BIRDCAGE.

[A] OMG Tai get a pet goat. Please.

[S] "I like Cirie." - Tai. "Why?" - Me.

[A] Everyone will go for Ozzy as an ally. I would have liked Ozzy and Malcolm on the same tribe in order to see that alpha vs. alpha mentality.

[A] Cirie not a physical player? Understatement of the year. Girl sits on her ass 99% of the time and sleeps the other 1%.

[A] Tony is literally digging his own grave right now.

[A] That is a cool immunity idol. I hope they sell mini replicas.

[S] I love it. "I'm not panicking Jeff." AKA "don't throw me under the bus."

[A] Immediate tie breakers? Hell yes! Makes splitting the votes risky; all these "game changers" now have to change their game. [S] Tiebreaker change at least makes idols more interesting.

[A] I like Michaela solely for her facial expressions.

[S] Who would be okay with the fact that it's plausible that everyone wants her gone? [A] WHO THE HELL WOULD BE "COOL" WITH THEIR NAME BEING THROWN OUT?

[S] I'm fine with Ciera or Michaela leaving.

[A] I'm okay with this vote. I have never liked Ciera as you well know. She's dumb and her name is spelled dumb.

[S] Oh the start of the season, when everyone is pale and clean. That'll change soon.

[S] Tony got angsty in one day? [A] Have I mentioned that I can't stand Tony? Because I seriously can't stand Tony.

[A] Of course Cirie wants to sit out of the challenge. (1) She's lazy and (2) She doesn't want to give them a reason to vote her out if they lose.

[S] The girl who twice dropped the snake in the water...who is that? I don't remember her at all… [A] She was clearly not a game changer then

[A] Is it just me or is Debbie painfully slow in these challenges? Like there is no fire lit under her ass...she's just putzing along.

[S] Orange team had given up...well everyone but Malcolm.

[A] Wow. That was a hell of a comeback even if they didn't win.

[S] What is Michaela fuming about. She seems livid with Malcolm, but he is the only reason you thought you could win… [A] Michaela, bite your tongue. I want you to stay for awhile. Don't shoot yourself in the foot.

[S] Caleb is a better player than I realized. He's smart to recognize that this early it's best to be strong but have another strong player to take that first bullet.

[A] Why am I not surprised that it's already the macho men vs. the women?

[S] Why would you go on Survivor if you freak out when you have a bug in your hair? Everything Sandra does is calculated. [A] Michaela is me when a bug flies by. This is why I would NEVER go on Survivor.

[A] Tony, you're not coming out here cocky or confident? Where's Debbie's bullshit alarm when you need it? It's gotta be going berserk right about now.

[S] It's Tony but at this point I'd rather it be Sandra.

[A] Holy shit, seriously?! Yay!

[S] I feel like Sandra shot herself in the foot with her blatant cockiness.

Next time on Survivor: [S] Tribe shakeup already? Boo! [A] I'm excited that they're going to continue to use the "clues at challenges" mechanism.

#survivor #survivor 34 #game changers

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surveys-at-your-service · 6 years ago

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Survey #156

“you’re such a perfect little human wreck, but i like you.”

Have you given anything up for Lent? When I was Catholic, I mighta tried but never succeeded. Who was the last person you went shopping with? Mom. Are you planning on dyeing your hair any time soon? Yes. I have a few ideas in mind. Who was the last person you saw that you haven’t seen in a while? Hm, not sure. Do you sing in front of people or only when you’re alone? Usually when I'm alone. When was the last time you left your cell phone somewhere? No idea. I rarely lose it. Do you prefer fake tanning or real tanning? Neither. I actually like being pale, and I also don't fancy skin cancer. Have you ever dated someone that was a different race than you? Hispanic for less than a day (race had nothing to do with it). How old is your best friend? 23. What does your favorite necklace look like? It's a black, spiked choker with some silver chains and crosses. Would you take a million dollars if it meant you had to die a month later? No way. Are you a visual, audio, or kinesthetic learner? Kinesthetic. I have to do it with most subjects. Cover songs or the original song? Depends. Have you ever been evacuated from a public building because of an emergency/fire? I think for a bomb threat once? What is one responsibility you have that you hate? Cleaning Roman's litterbox. Is there a TV show you used to love, but then lost interest in? Not really. Do you ever worry about any potential damage you may be doing (knowingly or unknowingly) to your body? Yeah. Have you ever been to a rave? No. Have you ever been on public transportation that broke down or got stranded? No. When’s the last time you did something you were really scared to do? Recently when I had to call vocational rehab back. What’s an old video game you used to play that you really miss? Shadow of the Colossus. I lost the disc. :< Haven't bothered buying it again 'cuz I wanna get a PS4 and the remaster anyway. If you have a case for your phone, what does it look like? I don't have one. What are your feelings towards glitter? Good shit. Are the blankets that are on your bed now made by someone you know in real life? No. Would you ever have a child just to get someone to fall in love with you? Oh my god, fuck off. Ever have a drug overdose? What did you OD on exactly? Yes, and all I'm saying is it was a cold medicine. The most painful medical procedure you’ve ever had? Getting an infected cyst drained and having not nearly enough numbing. I felt it, all right. Have you ever met someone in person that you met online? Yes, Sara. Ever have an ultra-sound performed on you? What was it for? Yes, on my liver. What color is your digital camera, if you have one? Black. When was the last time you were sick and what illness did you have? Idk. I rarely get sick. What is the strangest food combination that you enjoyed as a young child? Sandwiches with potato chips in it. Have you ever had to call the cops on someone else before? No. Are you supposed to be doing something else? Nah. If you were with your favorite person right now, what would you be doing? I've been having horny spikes lately, and I've also just felt extremely attached to her recently (more than normal), so probably making out tbh if she was ready. Do you own a gun? I legally can't due to mental illnesses and a suicidal past. I wouldn't want one anyway. Do you know how to play chess? No. What is something the world needs less and more of in your opinion? Less violence, more love. How hard is it for you to open up to others? Hard as fuck. Do you think before you act in serious situations? I sure try, but I can easily slip up if I'm mad. Ever done something you knew was wrong and kept doing it anyway? Yes. Are you religious? I believe in a higher power, but I don't really *act* religious. Are you superstitious? No. Have you ever experienced insomnia? Yes. I went through a juncture where it was pretty serious and I couldn't sleep without Melatonin. Are there any words that you just absolutely hate? The derogatory words for gays and blacks. Do you have an accent? Not really. Do you say “soda” or “pop”, or something else? "Soda." Do you believe in reincarnation? No. Do you have auto correct on your phone? Yep. Do you know anyone who suffers from depression? Too many people, myself included. But mine's well-managed. When you lost your virginity, do you honestly feel like you were ready? I didn't realize I'd lost it until the beginning of this year lmao. Don't ask. How much older/younger than you was the person you lost your virginity to? Two years older. When you were younger, did you plan on saving yourself for marriage? Yeah, oops. Have you ever had sex with more than one person? Like, have I had a threesome? No. What country do you think produces the best musical artists? Tied between the US and UK, probs. Which year was your favorite year of middle school? 7th. What amusement parks have you been to? Disney World. What is a song that always makes you happy? Something from my childhood, probably. Are your parents still married or divorced? For how many years? They'd been officially divorced since like... 2014. What meal do you usually miss the most? Breakfast or lunch. Do you have the same political views as your parents? Some. Are you closer to your mom or dad’s family? I don't really remember my dad's family, so I can't answer this. Though I'd honestly probably like his more. Who in your phone has a heart after their name? Sara. Have you ever hated someone, but ended up being friends with them? More like she ended up my girlfriend lmao. Do you have a favorite soft drink? Mountain Dew Voltage is my weakness. Do you have someone who you can be your complete self around? Just Sara. Have you ever broken a couple up? Unintentionally. We were talking too and he ended up wanting me instead. Probably the thing I'm most ashamed of. She was my best friend at the time. Are you one of those people who are always cold? No, I'm usually hot. What are you listening to? "Get Away With Murder" by Jeffree Star on repeat ahhhhh. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket? No. If you could make your lips bigger, would you? I don't think so, I'd have to see a preview of something. What season is your favorite and what season do you feel represents you? Autumn is my favorite, but I think spring would represent me. Would you rather learn more about space or more about the ocean? Space. Do you have a mental illness? If yes, how have you learned to cope with it? If no, do you ever suspect you may have one? I have a lot, but the only two I can't really cope with is anxiety and AvPD. I've learned with all the others in various ways. I'm also pretty convinced I have ADD. Do you have a favorite character from the Avengers? Thor, probably. Or Loki. Are you alive or just existing? Alive, finally. What is your favorite type of cookie? Chocolate chip. What is your favorite type of candy? Probs strawberry sour punch straws, but if you count chocolate, the Reese's square bars. What do you think is creepy that society accepts as normal? Stealing the last person's answer: Sexualization of young girls. What do you think is a good date other than dinner and a movie? I'm up for anything, dude. What time do you wake up most mornings? Like, 8-ish, typically. What is something you have given a lot of thought to lately? My future. What do you get complimented on the most? That I've lost weight. Do you believe in soul mates? No. Would you move out your house if you could right now? If it was to move out with Sara, yes. Are you biracial? No. What kind of booze did you last take shots of? Never done shots. What color of hair do you find the sexiest on the opposite gender? Black. If the last person you had sex with asked you to date them, would you? HAHAHAHA NOOOOOOPE. How long until your next birthday? A bit less than five months. When you lost your virginity, were you sober? Yeah. Do you think your best friend’s significant other is attractive? He's all right. He's not ugly. Do you own any books written by musicians? Yeah, Ozzy's autobiography. What’s the chorus to the song that’s been stuck in your head? "I'm gonna break your heart and get away with murder. You shoulda known from the start that it wouldn't last forever. I can't control myself; I feel like someone else. I'm gonna break your heart and get away with murder." Who was the last member of the opposite sex to give you a hug? Dad. Are you going to make a New Year’s resolution? No. What does the outfit you’re currently wearing look like? Red plaid pj pants, black shirt that says, "We would save ourselves if we could. - The Animals." Are you accepting of criticism? Depends on how harsh it is but also the subject. I can eaaasily get hurt over it, admittedly. It's an AvPD thing; I get embarrassed. Have you ever felt like you couldn’t fully trust a significant other? Yes, Tyler and Girt both. Only because I'm very scared of men now. How many relationships have you been in? I'll just count everyone who's had the title. Six. How long did each of those relationships last? Idk about the first. Second, less than a day. Third, three and a half years. Fourth, like two weeks. Fifth, I think four months. My current one is eleven months in. Has anyone lost their virginity to you? No. Would you raise your children the way your parents raised you? No. How long was your longest friendship? I don't know about years, but with Colleen since girl scout days. Legitimate, talk all the time and hang out type of friendship, middle school. Do you like facial hair on guys or do you prefer the clean shaven look? It depends on the guy. Who was your first celebrity crush? Jesse McCartney. How long do you usually spend on the internet in a day? All day. .-. Would you ever commit a crime if you know you wouldn’t get caught? Well, I already have. Downloading music is a crime. Are you good with kids? No. Which was the worst phase in your life? Late 2015 - very beginning of 2017. Is it easy to make you cry? YEAH. Are you good at applying makeup? Noooo. Do you like pastel colored hair? I FUCKING. WANT IT. Do you take your medications in the morning or at night? Most in the morning, but my second dose of my OCD med and my birth control are at night. Do you think oatmeal tastes better when made with water or milk? I'll only eat it if made with milk. Do you like thrift stores? Yeah. Have you ever used a fake name at Starbucks? I don't go to Starbucks. What are you passionate about? A LOT!!!! Have you ever tried vlogging, and if yes, did you stick with it? No, I never could. What country do you most want to visit? South Africa to see wild meerkats. For aesthetic/vacation reasons though, probably Scotland. Do you have a birthmark? If yes, what color is it? Yeah, tan. Who is your favorite Lisa Frank character? ANGEL KITTY. What were you voted in the senior class polls? Nothing. Do you want to give your kids common names or unique names? I'm not having kids, but if I did, there's no way I'd give them a common one. Favorite Spice Girl? I don't remember the members. Favorite Cheetah Girl? ^ Backstreet Boys or *N Sync? The boiz. What is your favorite tattoo that you’ve seen? Those by Brando Chiesa. Fuckin' aesthetic. I'd die to have a tat by him. Do you knit or crochet? No. What season do you want to get married in? Autumn. Is your Pinterest cluttered? No. What is your favorite insect? Butterflies. What bugs scare you? Most, really. Who picked your name, your mom or your dad? Probably Mom. I can't imagine Dad having much of an opinion unless it was awful. When was the last time you got a new phone? Like... three years ago. Have you ever made your parents cry? Mom, yes. Have you ever been cheated on or had a guy move on extremely fast after a long, seemingly sincere relationship? I'm aware Jason was talking to a girl preeeetty soon after our breakup. I'm sometimes suspicious if he was cheating or liking someone more than me and thus he lied about the reason for the breakup, but I'll give him enough credit to say I doubt that. Have you ever had someone tell you they wanted to be with you forever only to have them break up with you? ^ :) Does your ex’s new romantic interest know about the things you two did together? I don't know if Jason's taken now, but I don't see why he would share anything. Do you ever tell your current significant other about the things that you did with an ex-partner? I'd only tell her in she asked. It's not something I'm gonna just randomly talk about. Have you ever felt like your heart actually stopped? The moment I realized Jason was leaving, it legitimately felt like everything stopped. Can we stop with questions that bring him up? What’s something you’ve vowed to never eat? Wild animal/venison. Are you good at holding back your laughter if needed? NO. Have you ever had a “thumb war” with someone? Yeah, has any kid not? What was the last movie that made you teary-eyed? Johnny Got His Gun. Have you had two friends that absolutely hated each other? Not absolutely hated, I think. Has a laptop ever burned your legs? Yes. I actually had marks for quite a while. Do you know anyone who has a scar through their eyebrow? Juan. Have you ever just screamed really loud in an attempt to feel better? Once that I recall.

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