#also guess who has to draw 30+ illustrations soon. by soon i mean now. i should be doing that rn but alas. chodark calls me

[starrypawu]

doodles at 2am

also didnt have time to actually draw smth for their bdays 😔

[razberryyum]

The Untamed/陈情令 Rewatch, Episode 14, Part 2 of 2

(spoilers for everything MDZS/Untamed)

[covers MDZS chapters 55 and 56]

WangXian meter: 🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰+🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰+🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰+🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰+🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰+🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰+🐰🐰+🐰🐰+🐰🐰

Every glimpse we’re provided of the Jiang family life is really equal parts discomfort and electricity because of Madame Yu. Even though each scene usually involves both familial and marital strife, which is usually very uncomfortable for me to watch, I find myself completely incapable of turning away because of her, even as I’m wincing for Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian’s sake. Madame Yu is just so AWESOME. The way she sweeps into every scene she’s in, eyes flashing, taking charge and commanding the room is really breathtaking. As I’ve mentioned before, while I would never want her to be my mother nor do I support her method of mothering, I still completely respect and love her. Every line of dialogue from her is spoken with such conviction and impact and ferocity that I can’t help but grinning in admiration, even when her words are meant to hurt and belittle the boys I love. ��

I mean, that alone is pretty brutal to say in front of her son and ward.  While I’m sure Jiang Cheng and Wei Ying spent most of their lives hearing divisive statements like that from her, it’s really a testament to their basic good natures that they still ended up being so close.  I’m sure Jiang Fengmian being present to counter his wife’s harshness helped a lot, but if JC or Shijie were even the least bit petty, arrogant or unkind, they could’ve been easily swayed by Madame Yu’s influence and held her words against Wei Ying. The fact that they didn’t at all and still loved this orphaned boy like their own flesh and blood brother really makes me love the siblings that much more. I’ve always thought it’s quite sad that Madame Yu couldn’t find it in her heart to love Wei Ying as well, especially since he really is so lovable and adorable, but jealousy is an ugly and powerful monster that is hard to defeat, so it’s really a shame that she let it overcome her to the point that even her relationship with her husband and children was negatively affected.  Not to mention, I can only imagine how unhappy Madame Yu herself felt, believing as she did that she will always be inferior to the memory of a woman who has already passed and also questioning her husband’s fidelity and loyalty even so many years later. It’s obvious that her quick temper and biting words are the manifestations of her unhappiness. For such a capable and strong woman who could have easily been a sect leader in her own right, I really wish she could have been had a more joyful life.    

It should be noted that for her all her magnetic screen presence and impressive performance, actress Zhang Jing Tong, who portrays Madame Yu, is only 30 years old with just a few credits to her name. It’s amazing when I think about the fact that even though she’s only two years older than Xiao Zhan and Xuan Lu and seven years Wang Zhuo Cheng’s senior, she pulled off the Jiang matriarch role with total aplomb. Watching her I never for one second doubted she was their mother, head of the Yunmeng Jiang sect and household because of the authoritative air she possesses. Prior to looking up her professional history, I actually thought she was an industry veteran and I somehow just never saw any of her shows even though I’ve watched my fair share of Chinese dramas. The fact that she hasn’t been in that many shows just makes me appreciate her work in CQL even more. The degree of success in which she's brought Madame Yu to life is truly amazing: it’s as if the character literally just walked off of the pages of the book.  I hope she gets a lot more high profile professional opportunities from now on as a result of her wonderful performance in The Untamed.

Yunmeng Bros Love

It’s so difficult not to cry or at least get teary-eyed watching this scene now; I sure as heck couldn’t get through it without a few tears this time. The love these brothers have for each other, what they sacrificed for each other, just makes my heart hurt so much. What’s most heart-aching is that this really is the last time they can still laugh and embrace like this without any reservations, without any sadness or true regrets, because their family, despite its imperfections, is still whole. So this moment, this promise, in addition to serving as a testament to their bond, also feels like a marker of the end of their childhood and their innocence since soon after this is when all their dark days start arriving.

Clive Barker Would be Proud

Going back to the Xuanwu of Slaughter’s cave, even though I still don’t understand enough about the anatomy of the creature to be able to figure out how it can have so much room in its own shell to allow for storage space since the last I checked, that’s not how a tortoise’ body fits inside their shell, and if it’s actually a snake then why couldn’t I just come out of its shell to go after the boys earlier, I still appreciated the set design within its disgusting abode. Team CQL really did execute the gore and squelch elements quite well. That interior was pretty effectively creepy and gross.

Prelude to the Yiling Patriarch

Not gonna lie, that smirk does funny things to my tummy. It’s so deliciously sexy and evil. Makes me wish they had gone full darkside with Wei Ying when he became the Yiling Patriarch, or at least retained most of the moral ambiguity he had in the novel. We get his Yiling Patriarch smile a few more times after this, thank goodness, but since this is the first glimpse we get of it, I will always have a soft spot for this moment.  

I would love to see Xiao Zhan take on a truly villainous role one of these days since I think he would really excel at it and can totally succeed at making the audience both love, hate and fear him in such a role, but considering his elevation to leading man status now, I doubt that will ever happen anymore. Such a shame. He would’ve been scarily effective and alluring.

Jin Zixuan Appreciation Time

I’m going to take a moment here to show some appreciate to our dear bro-in-law. At the outset, I had thought he was a dick unworthy of our dear Shiji because of the way he treated her in the beginning and his rudeness towards Wei Ying.  I have since warmed up to him considerably, and now I think some words of praise is due. For being the son of a perverted piece of shit and growing in the lap of luxury, Jin Zixuan honestly turned out to be much better than his genetics and upbringing should have produced. Actually, I should give Madame Jin some credit, since she seemed to have a somewhat good head on her shoulders considering her favoring of Shijie. Most likely the reason why JZX turned out to be a decent enough man was because his mom did most of the parenting work. Despite his initial treatment of Shijie, I was impressed by how protective he was towards Mian Mian when she was being targeted by Wen Chao. Being a product of a total lecher of a father, it’s actually amazing that he never predatorized Mian Mian himself. Hell, I wouldn’t even be surprised if he had to protect her from his own father (yeah I really don’t think highly of Jin Guangshan at all). But no, he’s absolutely upstanding and I did also appreciate the fact that he went back with Jiang Cheng to rescue Wei Ying and Lan Zhan when he could have easily just not do so having already escaped. He was risking the Wen’s wrath in doing that so I know it did take guts and a strong sense of chivalry. I guess that’s why Shijie fell in love with him early on: she obviously saw something in him right from the start that took me this long to see.  

Other Odds and Ends

I remember being flabbergasted when I first saw this image on Wei Ying’s headboard because I simply could not believe what my eyes were seeing. Naturally I wanted to know everything about that illustration: did Wei Ying draw it himself? Who was he thinking of when he drew it? I know it can’t be Lan Zhan since the drawing obviously predates their relationship, so who could it be? Jiang Cheng? That thought actually did cross my mind very briefly way back but since I prefer their brotherhood above any shipping possibilities, I dismissed that thought almost as soon as it arose.  I know now that drawing is probably nothing more than an Easter Egg by Team CQL, but I still appreciated it since I thought this was even more blatant than the gay porn they snuck in back at Cloud Recesses’ library pavilion scene. That drawing wasn’t as clearly shown as this one and seemed more ambiguous. Really, bravo to their boldness, and bless the censors for overlooking this little bit of fun as well.

This poor kid. I should’ve known his life would soon come to a premature end as soon as they focused on him and gave him a sweet learning moment.

Just FYI for anyone who cares: looks like this while thinking of Lan Zhan is the reason this scene gets two 🐰.

Questions I Still Have

- Why did Lan Zhan let Wei Ying keep that disgusting, bloody sword even though he had to have clearly seen the demonic black smoke coming from it and surrounding Wei Ying while they were fighting the Xuanwu of Slaughter. Even if Lan Zhan missed the smoke, why wouldn’t he have at least sensed the all the evil and resenting energy emanating from the sword? Considering its origins, you’d think its ominous aura would be so overwhelming that even someone with a low level of cultivation would sense it, much less someone as cultivated as Lan Zhan. Not to mention, just in terms of sanitary issues, why would someone like him, who prefers cleanliness and has some knowledge of infection prevention, even let Wei Ying continue to hold on to that filthy thing anyway? I know story-wise, the sword is important and needed for later on, but I’d honestly rather they kept with the novel in this instance and had it just fall back to the bottom of the water in the cave.  It could still magically reappear at the Burial Mounds later on because it already recognized Wei Wuxian as its owner or something like that.

- Actually, what I also don’t understand is why Wen Ruohan never sensed this most powerful piece of the yin metal when it was so close to his stomping grounds? Why did that the first piece of metal he obtained call out to the pieces that were farther away instead of this one which was much closer? Unless, the reason is because the yin metal sword was activated because the other pieces finally reunited?  

Huh.  

I actually never considered that possibility until now, but if that’s the explanation, I can accept it. I guess this question might have been answered.

Overall Episode Rating: 9 Lil Apples out of 10

Disclaimer: The Untamed would not be possible without Mo Dao Zu Shi and Mo Xiang Tong Xiu-laoshi. I mean no disrespect whatsover when at times I may favor the shwo over the MDZS bible that is the novel. All hail MDZS and MXTX-laoshi, always and forever!    

[comicteaparty]

February 24th-March 1st, 2020 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from February 24th, 2020 to March 1st, 2020.  The chat focused on Whispers of the Past by Crona J.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Whispers of the Past by Crona J.~! (https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/whispers-of-the-past/list?title_no=191366)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace until March 1st, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Discussions are freeform, but we do offer discussion prompts in the pins for those who’d like to have them. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic! Whether you finish the comic or can only read a few pages, everyone is welcome to join and chat with us!

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 1

1. What did you like about the beginning of the comic?

2. What has been your favorite moment in the comic (so far)?

3. Who is your favorite character?

4. Which characters do like seeing interact the most?

5. What is something you like about the art? If you have a favorite illustration, please share it!

6. What is a theme you like that the comic explores?

7. What do you like about the comic’s story or overall related content?

8. Overall, what do you think the comic’s strengths are?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

FeatheryJustice

So far, first impressions, holy cow the art is amazing.

Ash🦀

1. My favorite part about the beginning was the style. It immediately drew me in how everything was lovingly rendered in color that made me feel like I was seeing the world for the first time. It made me want to paint, too! 2. When we first see the man. Whoo buddy. Whoooooooo buddy. That was... a finely sculpted painting there. I could’ve framed him and hung him on my wall if the artist would let me. WHOOOO BUDDY. 3. My favorite character so far is Martel. I don’t write them often, but I love seeing kids in media, and I love the design of her hair. I know it’s a random thing to make me like her but I just... really like her hairstyle. She’s cute, and I’d guess she’ll be a breath of much-needed light air later in the story. 4. Mystery man and Martel are precious. 5. I point to answer 2 here. That lovingly sculpted chest? My heart was a-flutter I tell you what. 6. The art style is just... SO LOVINGLY RENDERED. The quiet moments of baking bread juxtaposed against a chaotic battle was SO. GOOD. Aaaaaah Could also be that that particular part is my favorite part of making bread so it was extra special aaaaaaah 7-8 I haven’t seen enough of the story to answer these yet! But the art is banging and I can’t wait to read more. Subscribed.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I've read this before and the art and story aren't really my thing. Since critique is allowed I could give art comments if CronaJ would find that kind of thing helpful? But even though I won't be following the story I was still impressed by how much care the author puts into it. Both from looking at their comic and from reading their comments on this discord and on the tap forum it's clear they've put a ton of effort into the art and story, and haven't cut any corner.s And all the panels are so rendered. I wonder how long it takes to draw a page?(edited)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Hey everyone! I'm the artist and writer of Whispers of the Past. I want to thank you all for your kind comments and observations so far. It really means a lot to me to hear what others think of this heartfelt project. I know that the story is in the beginning stages right now. But I'm looking to post the end of the first chapter this week, so hopefully a bit more will be revealed soon. Please feel free to ask me questions about anything, or (to answer @Eightfish (Puppeteer)'s question), to offer critiques for how I can improve what I'm doing.(edited)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@FeatheryJustice & @Ash🦀 I'm glad you enjoy the artwork. The painting process is probably what takes me the longest when it comes to pages. In response to @Eightfish (Puppeteer)... It takes me around 30-40 hours per page, and I try to post 2-3 page updates. Obviously, the amount of time spent per page varies depending on several factors, such as: the number of panels, the level of complication of poses, how many characters/background elements there are, and sometimes just whatever weird reason my brain isn't working that day ^^; So for my average 5-7 panel pages, they typically take longer than, say, a full-page spread. @Ash🦀 I'm so happy that the first few pages pulled you in! I spent a lot of time deciding on how I wanted to draw those panels, and what style to use, etc. I actually redrew the first 3 pages at least 5 times before settling on them as they are. And, you can hang and frame the image of our male MC if you want, haha, I actually don't have prints of it, but it is something to consider That particular panel was a one-page spread, so I was able to dedicate a bit more detail to it. Maret is a worthy favorite character. She is too pure and precious, and she just wants to make friends with everybody. Even when the "strange man" is kind of curt and unfriendly to her, she wants to befriend him. Also, I am SO unbelievably glad that you picked up on the juxtaposition in the bread-making scene! Ahhhh! I had a lot of fun with that one

FeatheryJustice

1. The Pacing, I love slow starts to comics because I get to absorb it and learn more. 2. Favourite Moment? Dude trying to climb out the window and failing. That was really funny XD 3. Mysterious dude from the water of course. He has pointed ears, you know something is up. 4. I like Maret and the mysterious man, it seems like a child being like 'this is new and I want to learn more' Also thank you for not writing a grating child character. They sometimes turn up too pure to be real, or too grating because they are too real. Maret at least has that nice balance of a healthy child will not acted spoiled but still want things because child like the scene where she was shoo'ed out of the room. 5. I think we talked about htis a long time ago, but I love the way you draw hands and feet! 6. Nothing so far, not sure where the story will head so I can't answer this. 7. I like the start of the mystery and the slow ramp up. We are just getting comfortable and I'm sure we are going to get rocky soon! 8. Art, from seeing Cronaj spend so much time on it, it's freaking amazing. I can almost feel the characters come to life.

Also on a side note, I want Maret to hear from the Conch shell (As a memey joke) "Under the sea, under the sea" XD

(Mysterious man has red hair, I wouldn't be surprised he turned out to be a mermaid XD Sorry I'm just on slight crack theory mode right now. He didn't sell his voice though)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

When I was first writing and planning this comic, I was a little scared about how slow the start was, but I'm glad that it has been interesting despite the slow nature of the exposition.

2. Favourite Moment? Dude trying to climb out the window and failing. That was really funny XD

@FeatheryJustice Accurate! He's kind of an idiot, and he panics over nothing. For Maret... I actually based her character partially off of my two younger sisters, so that might be a lot of what contributes to her personality and realism. We did talk about hands and feet before! I love drawing hands, because they are so expressive and complex, but hate drawing feet because they are complicated. But I did study from life to draw Maret's feet, because I felt like I would mess it up otherwise ^^;

Hahahaha! I could definitely make an edit of that, tbh.

FeatheryJustice

That would be a funny joke panel if you ever want to do one. XD It's like replace the diaolgue memes XD

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

And I was partially making a mermaid joke when I had the reference to mermaids in the comic because he is a redhead

Definitely an idea....

I would title the episode "Whispers of the Crack"

FeatheryJustice

OMG YES I would love to see that XD

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I have a WotP meme folder on my computer already

carcarchu

1. What did you like about the beginning of the comic? Mystery man pretty 2. What has been your favorite moment in the comic (so far)? i liked the part where maret was listening to the conch for mermaids, had a lovely magical charm to it 3. Who is your favorite character? mystery man 4. Which characters do like seeing interact the most? not too many interactions so far but maret and the mystery man were cute 5. What is something you like about the art? If you have a favorite illustration, please share it! the sunset scenery had a nice vibe

also i can see why people were saying it reminded them of ruroni kenshin, mystery guy especially with his hair up and on the cover image is reminiscent of kenshin but storywise doesn't remind me of it at all

carcarchu

I have some critiques that i'll cover in case you don't want to see them. SPOILER The anime-ish emotes (the blush and the anger vein) to me clash against the realistic artsyle and detracts from the moments, some more subtlety with them would be appreciated. And Maret doesn't really look like a child to me, her face is very mature so it makes her look older than she is. Moreover the 3 characters that have been introduced thus far have very similar facial features. For maret and agatha they are siblings so it makes sense but the mystery man is (presumably?) not related to them so i'm not sure if that's intentional. In any case more facial diversity would be appreciated going forward (if it's just your style that's fine too). And this is a really small nit-pick but the first panel of chapter 6 has horse hooves with the sfx thump thump thump. In my opinion this sfx should be clip clop clip clop END SPOILER

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@carcarchu Thanks for the notes! I actually had a hard time deciding how to portray blush noticeably in a more realistic style, haha, but I can definitely see why it's jarring. Do you have any tips for how to depict blushing without anime emotes? I would just make it more reddish/pink, but it always looks weird to me (or too unnoticeable). As for Maret... She looks like a child to me? She's six, so she isn't quite a toddler, so I don't know if that changes your perception of her. She actually resembles my youngest sister a great deal, and my youngest sister was 5, almost six, when I designed her. (I just looked through the pages again, and there's maybe one panel that I think she looks slightly older in, so if anything, I'll try to fix that panel.) So yes, obviously Agatha and Maret look very similar, hahaha. They are biological sisters, so that makes sense. There will be at least two more characters introduced that are also related to them (and look fairly similar as well) and one character who will be mentioned who is also related and looks just like Agatha. Other than that, Izrekiel does look somewhat similar, I suppose, but it might also be partially that he canonically has a very feminine face as opposed to other male characters to be introduced later. It could be that and also a bit as a result of my style. I'm not sure. Ahhhh, sound effects! I also struggled with deciding what to do here. I wanted to do something different than "clip clop," mostly for a stupid personal hang-up. (I don't know why, but "clip clop" always looks so comical to me.) But if it helps translate the sound better, I might just have to bite the bullet and change it. Thanks for your feedback! Even if I don't agree with all of it, it does help me to take a closer look at what I've done with some different eyes. (edited)

carcarchu

That's fair! You don't have to accept anything just my thoughts (i hope nothing i said was too harsh) for me thump thump is a dull sound whereas clip clop or clippity clop is a sharper and harsher sound

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

yeah, I think you're right about that

thump is more like a heartbeat

or someone falling on carpet or something

carcarchu

and as for the blush question i think there are ways to depict a similar emotion without relying on the blush itself as a short hand like the softening of the eyes, the shape of the eyebrows, looking down and heck even body language can help with this. expression is more than what is shown on just the face

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Thank you. I always feel like my characters look too stiff, like mannequins. ^^; I'm probably not going to completely redraw any old panels at this point, but I might make a few alterations to these panels to make it more consistent with later panels down the line.

carcarchu

i also noticed that a lot of your panels are the characters looking straight towards the "camera" and i would appreciate more varied angles and perspectives

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Particularly with the first ten pages, that is certainly true

I got that note before, but I didn't redraw every panel, only some which looked particularly bad.

carcarchu

personally i never edit old chapters unless i 1. forgot to draw something important 2. there's a huge typo 3. it's missing a panel

any critique you can just keep in your heart and implement if you choose to do so moving forward

keii'ii (Heart of Keol)

2. I really liked "what if it's mama?" - a lot of hints condensed there: family history, how the topic of deaths/ disappearances are handled around children (either in that family specifically, or in that culture), and also a moment that shows a glimpse of Agatha's sisterly love instead of having the readers assume it.

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Really loving the comic so far! Right now, I'm most interested to learn about this family situation. I'm guessing their mother is dead or missing, but what about their father? I suppose his clothes were still in the house so maybe he just went out? Or maybe they're both missing and it was just fairly recent?

Also, the paint-y style of this comic is just incredible

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

https://media.tenor.com/images/878a64d90a1139bcb1e863ee29bfa929/tenor.gif

I'm so happy that you guys picked up on the clues about their mother. It alludes to some pretty plot heavy stuff that very few people have really commented on so far.

eli [a winged tale]

Oooh I’m so excited for your story Cronaj! Here are my answers~ 1) I love the beach scene! Maret with the shell is adorable and you established their relationship right away 2) Fav moment is probably the scene transition to our lad waking up with Agatha going about her day. It’s very peaceful and I’m a sucker for slice of life stuff. 3) Can’t pick just yet~ I like Agatha as a solid protagonist though. 4) More Agatha x mystery man please 5) I loooove the illustration aesthetics. Bold colours! 6) haven’t gotten to the core theme yet I’m sure but first impressions/meeting are always exciting. 7) I’m excited for what is to come. Can’t wait for the call to adventure. 8) Strength is definitely the art - beautiful and bold. Keep up the wonderful work!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@eli [a winged tale] Woah!!! You're the first person I've heard say that they like Agatha! She's mah girl! (And don't you worry, there will definitely be a lot more Agatha x Mystery Man ) Thanks for participating

eli [a winged tale]

she’s a solid sister!

sagaholmgaard

1. What did you like about the beginning of the comic? I like how the intro had a nice balance between art and text. Usually if there’s a lot of text on the first page I can get deterred from heading a comic, but here I think it worked really well! And the loverly painting of the ocean sunset also reeled me in and fit really well with the poetic text! 2. What has been your favorite moment in the comic (so far)? ”He’s the prettiest man I’ve ever seen!” LOL (and she’s right too…) 3. Who is your favorite character? I like the kid! But I’m excited to learn more about the other characters as the story goes on! 4. Which characters do like seeing interact the most?
I liked Agatha and Mystery Man interacting, it felt very natural and I’m curious to see what comes of it. But the dialogue felt pretty strong which I gotta applaud 5. What is something you like about the art? If you have a favorite illustration, please share it! The beautiful shot of Mystery Man on the beach of course, lol! I love the way the hair is rendered, it really feels like it’s has weight and is spread out in the sand, if that makes sense? 6. What is a theme you like that the comic explores? It seems like it will explore a lot of interesting themes in the future, such as grief and finding where you belong, so again I’m interested to see what the story brings! I’m sure it’ll be good no matter what :D Overall I like what I’ve read so far! It’s not the type of art style I usually gravitate towards, but I can tell a lot of love is going into rendering and I think we’ll be seeing Crona’s art improve a lot as the story goes on, which is always exciting to see!

RebelVampire

What I like about the beginning of the comic, which also goes for what I like about the art in general, is the attention to detail in the background colors and lighting. I've never seen such a beautifully rendered (what I assume is) a sunset. It really makes everything have this great almost mystical atmosphere to it. In general, though, the art so far is definitely the comic's strength because you can see the sheer passion in every drop of it. My favorite moment so far is when Maret gives Izrekiel some flowers and then drags him off and he's just meekly protesting. It was both cute and comedic and the preciousness hurt my heart. This is also why this is my favorite pair of characters interacting so far. I think the age gap combined with the context of Izrekiel's situation is gonna lead to lots of awkwardness that I look forward to. As for fave character, though, I would have to go with Agatha right now. I don't know what it is about her, but everytime I see her I feel like I'm looking at an old soul. Like maybe someone who still has a lot to learn about the world, but is wise beyond her years in other regards. And it makes her a captivating character for me.

While I'm not sure if this will be an overall theme throughout, I like that the comic starts to deal with the theme of loss and hope. On one side you have Agatha who just kind of accepts loss and deals with it, and then you have Maret who just lives on in hope. And I kind of feel they represent two dynamic sides to the issue about whether its better to cling to hope or just move on and deal and how both can be harmful if not expressed in the correct way. As for overall story content, while we're not that deep in, I do like it starts with a multitude of mysteries cause mysteries are always great for making ppl want answers

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Since Crona said they were good with art critique: The main thing I noticed when I first saw the art was that, though lovingly rendered, the characters' faces and bodies are kind of stiff. They don't really scrunch up their eyes and faces when they emote- it's mostly just the eyebrows (this was especially noticable when Maret was crying, or on the latest page, first panel, where Agatha's face doesn't really match her body language or words). And characters often don't seem to twist their bodies as much as they should. Oh- also the same camera angles of faces and bodies are repeated a lot. Front, 3/4, and profile. It'd be cool to see some shots with foreshortening from above or below the characters. Also the lighting is pretty diffuse- the characters seem to be shaded about the same way, and with the same colors, regardless of the lighting situation. I can still tell where the light is coming from, because there are those strong bright highlights in the direction of the light, but other than the bright highlights everything else seems to be shaded as if there was another light source coming from straight ahead. Also, sometimes characters seem to lose their shadows? Like on this page https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/whispers-of-the-past/ch-1-what-the-waves-left-behind-pt-3/viewer?title_no=191366&episode_no=4 where Agatha doesn't cast a shadow on the man, or this page https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/whispers-of-the-past/ch-1-what-the-waves-left-behind-pt-8/viewer?title_no=191366&episode_no=10 where they're running.

Those things being said though, I was still very impressed by the sheer amount of effort put into this comic. 100 hours/ update is absolutely insane. And you pay so much attention to the inanimate objects of this world. It makes the story feel grounded. About what someone else said: I agree that the cartoonish blush looks out of place. But I disagree about Maret- I think she does look like a child. 5. Favorite illustration? Definitely Agatha's hands when making dough. Not a critique but just a question: I was confused on the location of the story. Where is this?

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Ooof. Finally got a chance to sit down and respond to all these comments. I keep rereading them over and over again, so thank you so much for sharing your thoughts everyone! I've noticed a few themes with what people have commented so far: Maret is most people's favorite character, the panel of Izrekiel on the beach is also very popular, and the theme of loss/grief is apparent to the readers (which I'm very happy about.)

@sagaholmgaard I'm glad that you mentioned the theme of "finding where you belong" too, because it is and will be a very prevalent theme in the comic. And reading your comment about how the dialogue seems natural made my day. I used to worry about how the dialogue came off constantly, and to hear that it's strong is so encouraging.

@RebelVampire As is expected, your comments are very thought-out. The interaction between Izrekiel and Maret after he falls from the window is one of my favorite moments so far as well. I'm happy that Izrekiel's behavior came off as meek in this scene, because that is one of the defining traits of his personality. I'm glad for another Agatha fan! She is such a fun (and difficult) character for me to portray. There are so many layers about her that even I am still discovering. She is definitely an old soul, and he experiences growing up have definitely matured her beyond her years. As I mentioned before, the theme of loss is definitely a major theme of the comic overall. And hope as well, since I think the two are very connected.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) Thank you for offering your critiques! Character stiffness is definitely one of my major problems that I'm working at. I definitely see what you mean about Agatha's face in the latest update. Her eyebrows look painted on (pun not intended). I have been looking forward to having some more dynamic poses, especially foreshortening, but I do find it somewhat difficult when most of what the characters are doing so far are standing, sitting, talking, and maybe doing something with their hands. ^^; Hopefully, in the future, when more "action" happens, it will be easier to do this. As for bird's eye or worm's eye shots, I'm not gonna lie, I struggle with them so much. I had two bird's eye panels, and those took so much time, and I still don't know how I feel about them. If you have any tips for exercises, I would be so grateful. (Finding reference isn't always possible.) I also would love some tips/resources on how to get better at lighting. Again, lighting reference isn't always possible for specific panels, so it would help me a lot to learn how light works in general. OOOOOOF! I don't know how I missed the lack of shadow on Izrekiel in that panel. That was 100% a stupid oversight on my part. The scene with Agatha making dough had some of my personal favorite illustrations for a while. :) Also, your question about the location, I'm not entirely sure how to answer it?(edited)

It's a high fantasy story, so the location is entirely fictional.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

The best I can answer that is to say that the story takes place in a country called Shai-Ryam, consisting of four major "districts" in a semi-tropical temperate peninsula called "The Aka Peninsula," named after the native people who originally lived there. As of right now, they are in a city called Gon Atam, a seaside village on the western shore of the Nuata District, near the Ocean of Saturuna. It is a city heavy in trade and with a long history, yet quaint and small due to a disaster several hundred years ago. It is only now being repopulated.

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 2

9. Where do you think Izrekiel comes from, and what is his past history that seems to haunt him? Additionally, how do you think he wound up with amnesia and seemingly abandoned by the sea?

10. How will Izrekiel’s past history affect events of the story? In particular, how will revelations about his past affect his relationship with Agatha and other characters?

11. How do you think Agatha’s life will change from her encounter with Izrekiel? Will it somehow lead her to a more exciting life? If so, will it make her miss her simpler life with her family?

12. What are the biggest questions you have so far and are hoping to see answered over the course of the story? Also, what do you think will happen in the story in general?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

Ash🦀

9. Okay, so, here’s my theory. Just a guess. So Izrekiel is from a very war-friendly people up north who need land. Izzy just isn’t all about that life, but feels like he has no choice. Then he gets hurt fighting someone close to him (I’m putting money on brother or cousin who lives on the “wrong” side of things, hurt because he just couldn’t fight them at full strength. And then he realizes he can’t do it, while on the ship bound for new fight zones. His captain gets wind of it and is like “oh no I can’t let Mutiny Happen” so HeS all long ike “either fall in line or get off my ship” and Izzy is like “no I don’t wanna fight anymore heck you guys” and the captain proceeds to yeet him off the ship, leading him to the island, which, unbeknownst to him, is the next target. That’s my guess. Might be wildly off. He might be part mermaid. (Merman? Is mermaid gender neutral?) 10. Izzy or his bros probably killed one of Agatha’s family members, possibly the mom? Possibly violently? Which is why she never told babygirl what’s up. It’s probably going to be remembered in the buds of their relationship, hes going to try to hide it but it’ll come to light and she’s gonna be like “Izzy I hate you” and it’s going to make me cry. 11. She’s going to have a bread making partner in the end. They’re going to have adventures and go back to a domestic bread making existence, I speak it into being now /smacks table That may just be what I want to happen, though, as I very much enjoy bread making and wish others the same simple joy of giving dough a good smacking. 12. IS THE MOTHER REALLY A MERMAID OR WHAT Is Agatha a mermaid Are they like Selkies where they can come onto land a little Is babygirl a mermaid too(edited)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Omg... I love reading these theories. I won't say you're wrong or right, but this is a riot. I'm thoroughly enjoying this.

FeatheryJustice

9. Pulls out my Crack Theory brain Okay, so Iz is actually not a very hot man, but actually a really hot princess, transformed into a man since she was exciled from her country but their rules are to give the exiled a new life so they shape shift them into something else. Iz got shifted into a man, and the lovely wide bare chest was because their top was lost to the ocean like how someone would lose their bathing suit top to the sea. Anyways, knowing nothing about themselves, Iz now lives their life as a man never remembering they were a princess in the first place. Ends Crack Theory 10. Don't know, can't say for now. 11. She could always politely kick him out later, so I can't say for now. XD 12. I want to know if there are monsters in this story or just like different species warring it out.

RT|NitghVision

^ I like this theory

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

@Cronaj (Whispers of the Past) Oh! I missed that it was high fantasy. I thought the story was historical fiction. No wonder mystery man has pointed ears. I was so confused- I kept thinking, oh, she looks Polynesian and lives by the ocean. But wait, her name is Agatha and she makes bread? And the houses look Japanese? What culture are her clothes from? The world being completely fictional explains all that. I think I was confused by the real names in a high fantasy story- you don't really see that a lot. Finding the right reference for lighting or pose is impossible for me. I have no tips. The only way I've found is to make my own references. I will sit in front of a window, or take a lamp into a dark room or something, and prop my phone up and take photos of myself in the poses and lighting direction I need. But hey, at least that way I don't have to worry about stealing someone else's work?

(i also like feathery's theory)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@FeatheryJustice Crack theories are best theories.

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) Oh! I had no idea you thought it was historical fiction No wonder you were confused! There's a lot of weird cultural-mixing shenanigans going on in the setting, and it's a bit confusing.

I should try that, for now the lighting has been primarily sunlight, or diffused sunlight (which I don't think I depicted correctly).

RebelVampire

Time to crack story theory. I don't know enough about the world to guess a name to where Izrekiel is from. However, wherever it's from, I get the impression its embroiled in a bloody war that is suffering heavy casualties. I imagine that Izrekiel mightve been in a battle and just wound up in the sea by circumstance - like maybe was taken as a prisoner of war and jumped overboard to escape. Something like that. As for the amnesia, well, Imma chock that up to PTSD cause the brief flashbacks we got don't look pleasant. However, I definitely think someone will come looking for him, and that these someone's will make trouble with the people he's just met - perhaps even forcing them to abandon their home with people in pursuit. And I'm sure as Izrekiel remembers more, others are going to really view him as potentially dangerous and blame him (but then get over it cause he's pretty O_O) Given that, I do think Agatha is gonna leave home because of Izrekiel's past running after them. I do think she's inevitably gonna miss the simpler life. Not to the point she won't rise to the challenge, but to the point that she's gonna be like "wait theres danger out here and i didnt even get a sword from an old man in a cave!" As for biggest questions, right now I'm just kind of hoping to see more of the world cause current world events really are gonna dictate a lot where the story could go.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Dude I was literally googling the names to see what country they were from because I thought they were from some obscure real island with a history of cultural mixing that I hadn't heard about before.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Hahaha! Yeah, Agatha is an English name. Maret and Kelan (a character that hasn't been introduced yet) are Irish names. Aalia (another character that isn't introduced yet) is an Arabic name. Kehhasan (another character) is a made-up name. Izrekiel is a made-up name inspired by the biblical names Israel and Ezekiel (although technically it is often spelled in their alphabet as "Isarikieru," which has a particular meaning and pronunciation in an even older—fictional—language). Ryukou (another character), is a real-ish name, based off of the Japanese names "Ryu" and "Kou," which mean "dragon" and "peace/light" respectively. Four other characters have fictional names: Ia, Tammamori, Soro, Ghita (although technically it's a Greek name, that wasn't my inspiration). And of course there are hundreds of side characters with a combination of weird names and name origins.

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 3

13. What are you most looking forward to seeing in regards to the comic?

14. Any final words of encouragement for the comic?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

Deo101 [Millennium]

So! I don't really do so well with answering questions, but I do want to say it's inspiring to me to see just how much WORK is put into this comic. It's really lovely to see so clearly how much you care for it. Just want to give some general words of encouragement, keep it up!

Ash🦀

I’m most looking forward to seeing more of Izzy how the story develops along with your painting. There are so many hints and peeks at the world, and I can’t really guess where it’s going. I feel like I already care for these characters, and I can’t wait to see their journey. I am also not good at encouragement, as generally I’m fueled by spite. But I just wanted to say, keep going! You got this! We believe in you!

eli [a winged tale]

Keep up the good work Cronaj! Your art is beautiful and I can’t wait till we start rolling into act 2!

FeatheryJustice

I'm excited to see what else comes up next!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Thanks for all the kind words and encouragement everyone! I'm so happy to know that you are enjoying the story so far!

RebelVampire

I'm most looking to learning a bit more about the world structure I think. Since I think current events are really gonna hint at a lot what's going on. As for final words, this is an artistically wonderful comic with a lot of love put in, and I can only imagine how things will improve in the future!

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

I'm just really looking forward to seeing these characters grow! This is a beautiful comic, and I can't wait to get more of it!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Before the book club ends, I just wanted to pop back in and say thank you to everyone for their participation. Your kindness, insight, and critiques will stay with me for years to come. I'm so happy to have found a supportive community of readers and fellow creators!

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Whispers of the Past this week! Please also give a special thank you to Crona J. for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Whispers of the Past, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/whispers-of-the-past/list?title_no=191366

Crona J.’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cronasonlyfriend

Crona J.’s Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/cronaj

Crona J.’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/CronajArt

[judithsupportsteamchampery]

Fan Interview with Deniss Vasiljevs after the Figure Skating Grand Prix in Grenoble, France, Sunday, November 25th 2018

- by Judith Dombrowski - 

Sitting back home in Germany in front of my computer the last weekend seems still unreal for me. It was my first Figure Skating live event since 2007 and if I regret an only thing about this weekend it would be that it took me so long to go again. The main reason for my journey to Grenoble was the attendance of my favorite Skater - Deniss Vasiljevs from Latvia. I follow his career for two years now, since he started working with my former favorite skater Stéphane Lambiel. It was absolutely emotional and amazing to see him perform live, even though the competition itself didn’t turn out for Deniss as he probably would have hoped for. Still he was able to create absolute magic on the ice.

On very short note I had the luck to organize a very spontaneous fan-meeting on sunday morning. Thanks so much to Deniss’ manager Christopher Trevisan to make it possible and for the great cooperation.

Here is now the transcript of the interview we had with Deniss. I hope as many fans as possible will enjoy reading it. You can probably tell only from reading that Deniss and I were both still a bit nervous and shy at the beginning (well I definitely was, and he seemed as well) but it got into a very nice and relaxed conversation really soon.

Also please notice, that this was the first time in my life that I did such an interview, and it’s also my first time ever I am doing such a transcript. I decided to write everything down word by word just as they were spoken. Of course you will notice some grammar mistakes from my and from Deniss’ side since we are both no native speakers, and spoken sentences are always different from written sentences. I still decided to change absolutely nothing and just type it down as everything was said, that nothing Deniss said would be changed in any way. In case you are interested to translate this into another language, please try to do the same. I would also kindly ask you to ask for permission if you wish to translate it or publish it anywhere else. Thanks so much and I hope you will enjoy this. :)

Approximatly 25 - 30 people joined the meeting. I waited for Deniss outside of the hotel were we held the meeting at. Once Deniss and Christopher arrived and we came up the stairs everyone stood up and clapped. After some small greetings the interview started.

Me: Alright… I am a little bit nervous, so I wrote something down (referring to my notes). We all really appreciated your great programs. For me it was the first time seeing you perform live. It was really something special, much better than on TV. Your two programs this year are absolutely wonderful and appealing, so thank you. (Everyone was clapping.) I want to tell you some greetings from the Fan community. There are fans in Latvia, from Russia, someone wrote from Peru, (he really looked amazed when he heart Peru) from Mexico, from Hungary and they all send you their dearest greetings.

I will just start with the questions and of course everyone who has some questions can just join in and ask. I - and I think many of you here as well - read the transcript of the fan - meeting at NHK and there you talked a lot about the samurai program and I thought it’s really impressive that you shared some really deep thoughts about the programs and you can really see it when you perform. So there was a question from the internet who asked if you were personally involved in creating the costume or who created the costume for the samurai program.

Deniss: Well, it was the designer together with my whole circle who worked with the program.  We put a lot of energy in it and we all came up with this very interesting  - I guess - idea and all together that’s formed this…

Me: yea. you also drew the samurai very well…

Deniss: I love to draw. So my idea is very often to remind it on the paper and I am happy to share it for example for the work. For the things that I need to… It’s a place that can help..

Me: So you talked about the samurai program quite a lot in Japan already so you don’t need to repeat yourself again now. But we would love to know also a little bit more about the short program because it’s a really unusual choice of music for skating so how did you come up with the idea for the short program and this specific piece of music.

Deniss: How I came up with it? I don’t know it was a suggestion. But why we accepted it rather was because it is quite a challenge. It’s unique in it’s own style and so far I haven’t seen someone trying to really make it in this specific way so for me it’s really a big  ( )  (I really can’t understand the word he is using here, maybe it’s „curiosity") how I can improve it to the level I want. How I can show all this emotion be clean and sharp because the music is very groovy and more like whatever… feeling this kind of just enjoy the moment and that’s I guess the biggest contrast in this part that I find very attractive but I try to work to do my best.

Me: So you said you want to improve something? So what do you think needs to be improved?

Deniss: There is no limit to perfection. And I try to improve everywhere I can. But I guess what I would love to define is to make the skating a little bit more.. probably not simpler but easier for me to execute from the right… like the music always has this dynamics and just a little bit better on my breathing and movement to this flow. That would hopefully help me having more power when I need it later on. And having the step sequence.. it has already been changed quite a bit after the last competition to suit the technical panel better and also takes a big part of the program and it’s a moment when you still head towards the second part of the program which also is very energy consuming so this kind of balancing out is required anyways.

Me: Well good luck for that. For us it seems already very perfect and you are really groovy in the program. I especially like the ending pose… it’s.. so unique. (laughter)

Deniss: Yea I very close to kiss the board. (laughter from everyone)

Me: Yea, especially at NHK, I thought there it was really close.. I thought two days ago it was a bit shorter (I re-watched the SP yesterday and saw that I had been wrong. He really had been very close to the board in Grenoble) but we also thought.. it maybe could cause some time problems… when you are sliding too long… not to go over time…

Deniss: No, the movement just has to stop… so technically when you are sliding… (laughter)

Me:… you are not moving…

Deniss: It depends how you look on it.. but I understand by the word movement.. that your body is not moving. You can slide on the ice because… ice is slippery..

Me: yeah….

Deniss: … so you slide… right? (laughter)

Me: So… hopefully the judges will be on your side… and… One comment I guess on the yellow pants… because it’s really controversy. I personally really really like it and it really suits the program and the music and it is an eye catcher.. so.. did you like the idea of the yellow pants from the beginning… or how did you come up with that?

Deniss: Initially I think that the match of the colors yellow and shiny is very into the mood of that time. Maybe today it is less popular and a little bit going away from that. But at that time the kind of moment of this very sparky time labs that I try to present to the audience it’s exactly that very shiny and really kind of… Cause I heard the… I am not sure if it’s completely sure if it is the correct word… but the „cheap disco“..

Me: … from the 70s / 80s…

Deniss: Yea kind of if you have this kind of colored and all of this in a sense represents that period of time.

Me: yea, that’s true.

Deniss: And you have those pants that go like… (shows with his hands the shape of flares)

Me: Oh yeah.. I know only the German word (for flares) but I know what you mean.

Deniss: So, all of that is that time and I heard different opinions on it… some people love it, some people cannot stand it. But the point is.. overall this atmosphere I am trying to create is related to that what I already mentioned.. and..

Me: That time was also controversy, right?

Deniss: It is like a theater. When you try so represent as best as you can that moment, that spirit, that fun moment.. so and this costume.. yellow pants… I find them really a good illustration of what exactly that time means and having actually in my point of view a very nice balance of colors, because I have yellow pants, the purple shirt which is also in this kind of style and i also think it gives a little bit of elegance that I have the black jacket it at least helps to make the lines better. So all of that is a combination of a costume that I actually imagined on my own and thought it would be a great way…

Me: Well, wow!

Deniss: I am honestly very happy and glad..

Me: So it’s your own work and you really feel represented by it. Or the it represents the program…

Deniss: That’s almost the way I feel that time. I have one show program, one of the firsts I’ve got and I have this costume which was basically light blue with a lot of different colors and to me that’s a disco.

Me: Yes!

Deniss: I see that sparky or this shiny…blablablabla… too much things… too much everything… to me that is the time I heard from my grandfather even a little bit touched by my father. He told me how he saw it and that overall created my understanding of that time.

Me: Very good explanation actually.

So I told you before that I will unfortunately miss the Gala but I guess (referring to the other Fans) a lot of you are coming and… are you going to perform the same Gala program as at NHK? The Woodkid?

Deniss: Yes… yes. I would like to skate that one.

Me: Yes! It was amazing. I really watched it like 10 times after it came out. And we had - my mother and I -  tried to interpret it a little bit and we would like to know if that’s the way….

Deniss: If it matches me..?

Me: Yes, exactly. So we thought that you are representing the soldier who on the one side likes his profession but on the other side sees als the disadvantages that come with it like not being able to see his family and his love so he is really torn between liking what he does and missing home…

Deniss: That would be also a nice addition but it’s not exactly what I thought it would be. The first time I encountered this music and in general this idea I got behind it was I guess 5 or 6 years ago when I was following one game what was called „Assassin’s Creed: Revelations“ for the opening of that song or the trailer for that game was exactly this piece of music that I am skating to - „Iron“ by Woodkid. For me that’s the moment for me to form the opinion about it in general for me the story is that he’s a worrier and he is searching for something in the game at least and he is in a sense suffering. He has a lot of challenges and he’s not living kind of a happy life in the sense that he has constant struggles, he has to get food and has a very like big bandage and he is still fighting for it. He is in a sense a surviver and at the same time he has this… at some point anyone having that much stress in their life… they break. So and this is a sense a scream of soul which I try to partly represent in my performance.. this nasty feeling like it’s too much and at the same time you have no escape from it and you have to continue. So it’s kind of very dark and very touchy moment. For me personally when I skated.. I really try to put it more towards the… like very deep soul harming moment.

Me: Yea, you can definitely see that you are feeling it.. you’re really into it… your whole face… your emotions…

Deniss: Yes, that’s the best way to make it good to live it…

Me: yea to live it in the moment. Exactly. You are really in the song… and… it’s a great song, as well.. it’s really catchy…

Deniss: Yea, I really love the power that it has, it’s really impressive. I really like the author…

Me: Yea.. Woodkid… yea…

Deniss: Yea, he has quite a few great songs.

Me: Yea definitely.

Deniss: Skating to one of his creations is a big joy.

Me: Yea, it’s getting quite popular in skating and I only knew him from skating and now I listened to all of his songs and they are really amazing. I am really wondering why he isn’t more popular in general…

Well, good luck for all of you seeing it live this afternoon. I wish I would, but I hopefully will one day.. well I have more questions written down but maybe some of you want to join in and ask something?

Charlie: Okay, this Short Program for this season is the „Papa was a rolling stone“ and you also used Jimmy Hendrix two years ago and it’s a very curious choice for a guy like you and where does the inspiration come from? Who's idea is that? Your idea or Stéphanes idea?

Deniss: This music was found in a sense by Stéphs choreographer, Salome, and it was just a very good piece of music that would be interesting if I can make it… so we accepted this kind of challenge and did our best to present it the best way we can.

Charlie: And you really succeeded. When I first heard the song I didn’t even know the song „Papa was a rolling stone“ so I googled it and searched for it on youtube and I was like: This??? I am not sure! But then I saw your performance and I totally changed the idea, it was so awesome.

Deniss: One of the biggest challenges for this program like music wise was that actually music never starts… it starts and starts and starts and then it finishes and it still starts, so it’s never getting actually a peak so that’s probably was the hardest part doing it maybe… maybe the music works… so…

Charlie: You succeeded.

Deniss: We kind of found the right way.

Me: Anything else?… Alright… then I will go on… Probably we all gratulate you on graduating last summer from school.. I heard you did very well..

Deniss: Yes… I was really impressed by my marks.

Everyone clapping

Deniss: It was far more than I expected, especially I invested in the education.. because I was… well figure skating life is kind of busy… although it might sound on the paper that it’s not too much but actually it takes far more than that…

Me: Yea, it’s a whole lifestyle….

Deniss: Yea, it’s completely different. And the point that I actually managed to write the tests that well… actually a big thank you to everyone that helped me to prepare and actually kind of tutored me.. so I am very grateful for all their input… and miracle…. (points to his head)

Me: Yea, your good brain…

Deniss: That managed to squeeze all the information and delivered it at the right time..

Me: You learn that in figure skating as well… that you maybe concentrate at the right moment… Well, congrats. We are interested in… how is your studying now going? What are your plans? I heard that want to study in Switzerland… I think now it’s really hard…

Deniss: Education is a pretty big question and I constantly like switched for the last ten years changing what I want to do, where I want to go, what is my heard wish and for example right now since I am dedicated to figure skating all the time. I can not attempt a full time very serious education the way I would normally do it in Switzerland although it might sound that it’s not far with the schedule I have it’s massive… so..

Me: Yea, I studied.. so, I know what it takes…

Deniss: So, in my opinion like I plan for now about for getting a really important degree that I will enjoy that’s basically after I am done with my career which will take hopefully another 7 years. I really want to enjoy this road as long as I can and be perfecting it. So education has another standing than in usual life as an athlete it’s kind of a bit pushed in that part but nevertheless I am really really into learning more about art. Art has many varieties and ways to develop for example one of them is cooking, drawing and writing. There is just so many things I have done even looking from the perspective of figure skating. So I kind of anyway by staying and working full-time as a figure skater and do my best to improve that. And also I am attending, I am trying to have the same way I managed to finish the school to get a university a degree in Daugavpils which right now I am kind of a bit behind but soon I will hopefully catch up, now where I have a little bit of time and I am getting the degree on social skills and… (he said a word here that I didn’t understand)

Me: Sorry, the last I didn’t understand.

Other Fans joining in: Teaching!

Me: Ah, good, nice!

Deniss: Not exactly yet where I will use it but still I think it’s good to keep myself busy with something else except from skating because at some point when you do the same thing over and over again sometimes your brain gets overwhelmed, so I need something different and that is my kind of way to escape from it. So I am attending that. In the future I guess I will have after my career the education in business and management or something that is more relating to the being a self managing… not a firm but something like your own established small business. Sometime…

Me: Good luck, but I think it is a good decision like that and… you are young…

Deniss: Everything comes at the right time.

Me: Yea… So you are now living in Champéry for like 2 1/2 years, something like that…

Deniss: Yea…

Me: How is your learning French going actually?

Deniss: Slowly… little by little… I think I understand French pretty well I am actually starting to start talking back a little bit. From other points of views I am doing better than I am telling everyone. But I think it’s still a long long journey to actually fully completing the education of French. So far I am a bit scared in a good way to learn writing and grammar. Because I heard it’s pretty complex and so far I don’t really use it so much. The world is switching to the international language English. So it’s more I think a bigger priority to have the potential to communicate and talking rather than writing.

Me: Yea. Good luck on that as well, because I think it’s such a big opportunity when you live in another county to learn another language.

Deniss: But Switzerland has… French.. and German and even a little part of Italian… so…

Me: So yea.. and I guess within your skating group everyone is speaking English since they are coming from all over the world.

Deniss: yea!

Me: It seems like such a nice team actually.

Deniss: Yea. We have a really nice group of people that we have a really good relationship between each other and be rather supportive than on each others way. And it’s really a beneficial.. and we really enjoy each others company and it helps to progress better and faster. So I really enjoy having this set to my side. It’s a big joy.

Me: You can really see this even only from the pictures that it’s a good atmosphere. And I think.. Champéry is a really small village.. So there is not so much going on there, so you kind of have to get along with your people..

Deniss: Yes, when you choose your way more like a self improvement person and you are really focused a lot on learning and a knowledge that would reflect.. then your life has a… being a figure skater you rather spend a lot of time on that and then probably a little bit shorter amount of time that we actually spend together and doing something together. But from time to time.. we have a really incredible time together where we are really enjoying each others company.

Me: Do you like hiking in the mountains?

Deniss: Yes! I adore that activity!

Me: Yea.. definitely, I am coming from an hiking family… So I know.. been in the Alpes a lot…

Deniss: Maybe I am not such a hiking hiker.. but I love to walk around. With the amazing nature around and enjoy the sound of the morning birds at least during the spring or summer yet when the sun is rising. So during the winter it’s probably a bit harder…

Me: Yea… are you skiing?

Deniss: I never tried.

Me: Yea, it’s dangerous…

Deniss: So far as I remember I was not allowed to do that activity because of the Olympic season. And still, if I am correct, I am a little bit shortened on the activity because I am a very much beginner. And I have to take care of my physical condition in order to practice. So… it’s very important to be careful with such fun things.

Me: Yea, well I can understand, I am also kind of a beginner with skiing.. and… you fall a lot.. at the beginning… so.. you probably shouldn’t risk it.

Deniss: I heard if I will use the shorter skies it could be more similar to the blades.. so probably…. (he smiled very brightly and everyone laughed)

Some girl from the back: Except for the trees coming in your way…

Deniss: It’s not my job to move from the trees. It’s the job of the trees… (everyone laughing really loud)

Me: Yea, just tell them that… and we’ll have the next Fan meeting right at the hospital. So… after some more laughter  there was recently… we all know you like cooking and baking and recently on instagram there was a cooking battle or a cake battle between you and some woman… How did that come along and who won that.. actually?

Deniss: It was more like a joke, I guess…

Me: Yea, of course.

Deniss: Because I mean… I didn’t see it that much as a competition, I in general enjoy the process… And I think it’s even worse than figure skating to judge because everyone has a different taste, different preferences, and.. completely two different styles. She is from the United States, for her cake primarily must be super sweet and rock solid. And for me cake must be nice and fluffy, very well balanced and not too sweet. So… It’s like a… someone likes that more, someone that… And this baking, cooking in general, it’s a big part of my lifestyle, because unfortunately like usual way you approach it I guess… as people don’t usually work that much hard physical activity. There are a lot of.. so you have to kind of know what you eat, how to balance, how to nutrition, and for me just because of this necessity it brings me a big part of enjoyment to figure that out the best way I can and achieve this supplementary kind of super important part of my real performance that you see afterwards on the competition on the ice. So all this cooking thing is more like… not just a hobby but a necessity that I have to really be careful with. An although I love baking and I do that I think not enough that I would love to. But I have to be kind of limited with that and so far it works… partly I guess…

Well unfortunately the time for questions was up then. I apologized that we didn’t have a proper gift for him anymore because the meeting had been on such a short notice. But we bought him -  as it had been a suggestion from the Facebook Fan group - honey and oranges. So I explained him why: Honey, because we heard he loved honey, and oranges because he needs a lot of vitamins. There he laughed and said that he actually got a little bit sick during the last days and that the vitamins where a perfect idea.

We then still took some group pictures and Deniss signed some banners and some flags,

then they left.

Thank you so much Deniss for taking so much time for your Fans. Your thoughtful and deep answers to every question really impressed me. You are really able to make everyone around you happy and smiling, not just with your performances on the ice, but also with your great personality off the ice! All the best for this season, your future on and off the ice, and always keep as you are!!

[imjustthemechanic]

Natalie Jones and the Golden Ship

Part 1/? - A Meeting at the Palace Part 2/? - Curry Talk Part 3/? - Princess Sitamun Part 4/? - Not At Rest Part 5/? - Dead Men Tell no Tales Part 6/? - Sitamun Rises Again Part 7/? - The Curse of Madame Desrosiers Part 8/? - Sabotage at Guedelon Part 9/? - A Miracle Part 10/? - Desrosiers’ Elixir Part 11/? - Athens in October Part 12/? - The Man in Black Part 13/? - Mr. Neustadt Part 14/? - The Other Side of the Story Part 15/? - A Favour Part 16/? - A Knock on the Window Part 17/? - Sir Stephen and Buckeye Part 18/? - Books of Alchemy Part 19/? - The Answers Part 20/? - A Gift Left Behind Part 21/? - Santorini Part 22/? - What the Doves Found Part 23/? - A Thief in the Night Part 24/? - Healing Part 25/? - Newton’s Code Part 26/? - Montenegro Part 27/? - The Lost Relic Part 28/? - The Homunculinus Part 29/? - The End is Near Part 30/? - The Face of Evil Part 31/? - The Morning After Part 32/? - Next Stop Part 33/? - A Sighting in Messina Part 34/? - Taormina Part 35/? - Burning Part 36/? - Recovery Part 37/? - Pilgrimage to Vesuvius

Where has Newton gone next?  It’s a pun.

By morning, the smoke had cleared and the volcano was quiet.

This was definitely not what anyone had expected.  As the group ate breakfast in the hotel’s little restaurant, the news playing on the television above the bar was all about the sudden cessation of the eruption.  An anchorwoman said in Italian, with rather poorly-translated English subtitles for the tourists, that scientists were puzzled but Etna seemed to have gone back to sleep.  If the volcano remained quiescent for twenty-four hours, the evacuated Sicilians would be allowed to return to their homes on the slopes.  There were interviews with several people who expressed their gratitude to God that their farms were not going to be destroyed, and their eagerness to go home.

“They did something,” said Sam, pointing a fork at the TV.

Natasha had been thinking the same thing.  Desrosiers must have come here because she knew Newton would go to an erupting volcano to get geothermal energy from it… maybe that was where the enormous heat in his gauntlet had come from.  Somehow, he’d convinced her to help him make the philosopher’s stone, and now that they had the notebooks, they’d returned to the volcano to drain the rest of its energy.

“Do they have everything they need now?” she wondered aloud.  “Are they ready to just make the philosopher’s stone?”  Maybe they were working on it right now, down in the bowels of the volcano… or would it still be too hot in there?  “Where’s our Voynich book?”

Sharon pulled it out of Sir Stephen’s backpack.  “We still can’t read it,” she said.

“Yeah, but there might be something to give us a hint,” said Nat.

That seemed pretty unlikely, even to Nat, but for the moment nobody had any better ideas.  They flipped through the softcover facsimile.  There were no pictures of volcanoes anywhere in the book, but Nat supposed any form of energy would do.  Solar, geothermal, wind… ancient alchemists might have even tried to do it with fire.  The Minoan alchemists on Santorini had used the volcanic heat of Thira.  Heaven knew what Rasputin had found in the middle of Siberia, maybe one of the powerful Russian rivers.  Of course, if Newton could drain energy from a volcano to store and move it, he could go anywhere he liked.

Even so, she was pretty confident now that Newton was not going to Australia.  The simple fact that he’d gone out of his way to mention it seemed evidence enough of that.  She glanced at the book again, as Sharon idly turned pages, and then something caught her eye.

“Wait,” said Nat, and turned back a page or two.

It was an illustration of a plant – this entire section of the book was drawings of plants.  Notes in the margins said that botanists believed it might be a sunflower, which suggested that the book was about the plants of the Americas.  Somebody had even offered the theory that its alphabet was an attempt to record a native American language in a way that would be intelligible to Europeans.  But Natasha, thinking of volcanoes, had noticed something else.

Taormina was full of volcano-related souvenirs and merchandise right now, and as she and Jim had walked down the street yesterday, they’d seen multiple versions of an illustration showing a cross-section of the mountain.  The posters, postcards, and t-shirts depicted many fissures branching off a big central well that brought lava to the surface, where it erupted from the vents and gave off steam that rose into a tower with billows at the top.  Everything in alchemy was recorded in codes and metaphors.  This was not botany.  This was geology.

“Etna,” said Natasha.  She put her finger at the top of the page, where a heading was written: five of the mysterious letters, the first and last the same.  The name of the mountain in Greek was Aetna.

“No way,” said Sharon, turning the book to face her again.  “Really?”

“Somebody get a pen,” Nat ordered.

A waitress was walking by.  Jim snatched her notebook and pen from her.  “Sorry, need this,” he said, and sat back down to copy out the four letters that were A, E, T, and N.  These were fairly common letters in Greek, so they were soon able to get to work on the rest of the page.  The results were disappointing: they found things that might have been words, but many more seemed like random groups of letters.  Some were repeated multiple times, some appeared to be backwards or to have had the letters arranged in alphabetical order.  There must be layers and layers of code and cipher here, Nat thought, and without the key they didn’t know what to look for where.  Figuring it out might take years.

“If the sunflower is a diagram of the mountain,” Nat said, “maybe these labels are places to say where to best collect its energy for alchemical purposes.”  Unfortunately, it was hardly a map to scale.  Without being able to read the text, they couldn’t tell where to look for Newton and Desrosiers.

Sharon turned the page.  There was another plant… was this one also a volcano?  The second letter of its name was an E, but the rest weren’t ones they’d figured out.  Nat counted them, and made some guesses.  The headings were the most simply encoded parts, and letters one and five in this word were the same.  If those were Greek beta, then the whole name might be…

“Vesuvius,” said Jim, before Nat could speak.  “We gotta go to Mount Vesuvius.”

“Not necessarily,” said Sam.  He reached over to flip a few more pages.  “The Mediterranean’s full of volcanoes.  What about Stromboli or Kolumbo?”

“No, he’ll go to Vesuvius,” said Jim.  “I’m sure.  Trust me.”

A piece suddenly fell into place.  “He’s right,” said Nat.  “He’s got to be.”

“You’re biased,” said Clint.

“No,” Nat insisted.  “It’s a word game!  Alchemy is all in puzzles, codes, and puns.  Newton in German is Neustadt, and in Greek it’s Neapoli.  That’s the area in Athens where his apartment was.  What’s the city below Vesuvius?” she asked, and waited expectantly.  One by one, she saw her companions’ expressions change as the light dawned.

“All right,” said Sam, as Sharon closed the book.  “Naples.”

With the evacuees returning in droves, it was no problem to get a ferry to the mainland.  In Calabria they got on a train heading north to Termini in Rome, where they transferred to one bound for Naples.

It was a hot day when they arrived, but it wasn’t like the pounding dry heat of Santorini or Athens.  Naples was drowning in a thick, humid heat that sweating did nothing to help because there was no wind to make it evaporate.  Locals didn’t seem to mind, but the tourists walked around fanning themselves, their faces red and glistening from exertion.  Shops selling bottled water and gelato did very brisk business.

They reached Naples late in the afternoon, and as the train entered the city they could see a cruise ship in port.  Nat caught Clint peering at it, trying to figure out whether it was a familiar one.

“It’s not,” she said.  “Wrong company.  See the logo on the superstructure?”

Clint nodded and looked back down at the screen of his phone.  He’d just typed in the question would you like anything from Naples?  A flashing icon suggested that Laura Francis, back home in Nottinghamshire, was typing her reply.

“What are you looking for?” asked Sam.

“I don’t know yet,” said Clint.  “She hasn’t answered.”

“No,” Sam said, “I mean, why were you looking at the boat?”

“He thinks the Scorpio II is following us,” said Nat.

Clint shook his head.  “Next time we are definitely doing this on a cruise ship,” he said.  “If I’m going to hop from island to island around the Mediterranean without ever having time to stop and see anything, I’m gonna do it with room service.”

“Foot massages,” said Sharon.

“Wi-fi,” said Natasha.

“Cold beer,” Jim agreed.

“That’s it.”  Sharon nodded.  “When we get back, we’re telling Fury and the Queen that from now on we only travel by cruise ship.”

Nat grinned as she imagined that conversation.  Fury would roll his eye, fully aware that they were joking and determined not to dignify it with an acknowledgement.  The Queen, on the other hand, might just take them seriously.  She spent her own vacations in Monte Carlo and a series of palaces, so why not?

Clint’s phone vibrated.  He took a look.  “Oh, great,” he groaned.

“What’s it say?” asked Nat.

He turned the phone around to show them.  Laura’s reply said simply, surprise me.

Sam whistled.  “You’re being tested now, my man,” he declared.

“I know,” Clint said.  “And I don’t think one of those glitter-covered panda figures is going to do it.”

The moment they stepped out of Napoli Centrale, they were bombarded by vendors offering them tours and trinkets.  Nat kept her head down and tried not to make eye contact, but she did have to look where she was going and the Neapolitans were happy to follow the group out into the street.  Brochures, maps, hats, and sunglasses were all thrust into her face in quick succession, and it was very difficult to keep a hold on the instinct telling her to throw these people across the road.

“I have changed my mind,” Sir Stephen announced, as they shooed the last of them away.

“About what?” asked Sharon.

“About whether this is like going on pilgrimage,” he said, and turned to wave away a man offering tour tickets.  “No, thank you, Sir, we do not want to visit Positano!”  Returning his attention to Sharon, he went on: “this is exactly the sort of thing that greets a pilgrim in Canterbury.”

“Canterbury didn’t become a place of pilgrimage until the late twelfth century,” said Natasha, but she wasn’t going to worry about it much.  Sir Stephen’s world was not one that concerned itself with historical accuracy.

From the city, there was a clear view of Mount Vesuvius.  Mount Etna in Sicily was surrounded by other peaks, all of which had once been exit points for the volcano but were now extinct.  Vesuvius stood alone.  From this angle only one of its two cones was visible, covered with green woods all the way to the snow line.  There hadn’t been a major eruption since 1944, leaving the vegetation plenty of time to recolonize the slopes.

Even so, the mountain looked almost exactly like how a child might draw a picture of a volcano: a steep conical hill with a crater in the top.  Nat had to wonder how the people of Pompeii and Herculaneum had ever thought this was a good place to live.  Then again, she observed, here they were nearly two thousand years later, with people still living in Naples and Sorrento.  The very reason this city was called Napoli was because it was the New City, founded after an eruption had destroyed the older one.

Volcanic soil was excellent for wine grapes.  Maybe in Italy, that was enough to make people stay.

[esonetwork]

Tale as old as time: ESO Network chats with Disney animator Tom Bancroft

New Post has been published on https://esopodcast.com/tale-as-old-as-time-eso-network-chats-with-disney-animator-tom-bancroft/

Tale as old as time: ESO Network chats with Disney animator Tom Bancroft

Beauty and the Beast. The Lion King. Aladdin. Mulan.

These iconic animated films are part of the story of the famous “Disney Renaissance,” which propelled the studio back to commercial success and critical acclaim in the ’80s and ’90s.

Tom Bancroft played a role in that story too — the artist has 30 years of experience in the animation industry, much of which was spent with Walt Disney Feature Animation. He was an animator on four animated shorts and eight feature films (the films named above are part of that list). He has also worked with Big Idea Productions, creators of the popular Veggie Tales animated series.

During Dragon Con 2018, ESO Network reporters Mary Ogle and Ashley Pauls chatted with Bancroft about his love for art, his favorite Disney project, and the industry shift from hand-drawn to computer animation. Read an excerpt from our interview below and listen to the full interview on Earth Station One podcast episode 437: https://esopodcast.com/the-earth-station-one-podcast-437-the-big-lebowski-live-from-dragon-con/

ESO: Tell us a little bit about your career and how you got started. What was that initial spark? What motivated you to get involved in this and pursue your art as a career?

I think I grew up in a golden age of comic strips. So this is a little tangent-y, but it was not the golden age of animation, unfortunately. When I grew up, mostly in the ’70s, I had a twin brother and we would draw together and what we would draw was comic strips. “Peanuts” was really big with Charles Schulz, and then soon came “Bloom County” and then soon after that “Calvin and Hobbes.” And of course the peak of Mad magazine.

It was all that sort of illustration and comic strips that really fascinated us. But then we had sort of a sub love of live action film, but especially Ray Harryhausen movies, which is stop motion. And we didn’t put it all together to go, “well, we like to draw, we like stop motion — animation seems like a good fit.” It still took a while till just after high school that we really realized [that].

Simultaneous to all that, we were watching Saturday morning cartoons all the time. But the love for Saturday morning cartoons wasn’t really artistic, I would say; it wasn’t like we were drawing “Scooby-Doo” or the “Super Friends.” We also liked comic books too. But kind of both of us looked at that as the impossible dream, because anatomy and things like that — it looked too hard.

But like I said, on the animation side of things, it was kind of a dead time. Those Saturday morning cartoons were pretty popular, but really, it was all about getting it out cheap, right? You look at “Super Friends,” and limited animation and Hanna-Barbera stuff. It was kind of a bad time to want to be an animator, I would say say. Even though there’s a lot of nostalgia for “He-Man” and things like that, it’s just not really well animated. (laughter) I think we can admit that.

[Then] Disney films started to get a little bit better and better. They were on the cusp of having a resurgence. “The Great Mouse Detective” had come out; that’s a fun, cartoon-y, well-animated film. And it was films like that, that really kind of made us go, “Oh, wait a second, you know, this might be the path. It combines a lot of our loves.”

And so we just kind of fell into animation, really. Did a little stop motion animated film for our church youth group, got together a couple friends that also wanted to try animation. And we just sort of taught ourselves. This is before the internet, so we’d go to the library and try and find books on even exposure because we’re literally using a Super 8 camera and shooting these clay animated figures one frame at a time. And so we just needed to learn, but that was close to Ray Harryhausen, so it was within our wheelhouse. We were researching him quite a bit.

Then that love translated to “well, we already like to draw, why don’t we try drawn animation?” And then we found out about CalArts (California Institute of the Arts). We already were living in California, and CalArts is like the animation school in the U.S. It still is, but at the time it was one of the only ones and it was founded by Walt Disney. So we tried for it and got it in, miraculously. And after a year and a half, got an internship at Disney. And that’s what started our career.

Have you done mostly traditional animation? Or have you also delved into computer animation?

Later on in my career, pretty much toward the end of my Disney days, I ended up following my heart in 2000 and joining Big Idea Productions, and they do Veggie Tales. While I was there, I learned CG animation and learned how to do Bob and Larry in the computer. And fortunately, it was simpler; they didn’t have arms and legs.

But it was still tough. I mean, it was a huge learning curve. I’ve always heard, “Oh yeah, computers are just, you know, just a tool.” But it’s a radically different way to animate for someone like me, who had really finally figured out how to do 2D animation after about 10 years at Disney. It felt like I was starting all over again, and it was a tough year.

And I can’t say I loved it; I missed drawing. And so I immediately switched over, even while I was at Big Idea. After animating a little bit, I switched over to storyboarding and then ultimately directed and created the 2D “Larryboy Adventures” show. That was much more a better fit for me.

I left and came back to Disney and did “Brother Bear” traditional animation, and worked on Rutt and Tuke, the two moose characters. And then after that, I started my own company. And so I’ve been pretty much independent for what I call the second phase of my career. And a lot of that has been character design and children’s book illustration, some directing, some 2D animation still too, but a variety of different things. Comic books, even.

You’ve gotten to see both sides, with the hand-drawn animation and the computer. How is the creative process different and what are some of the advantages and disadvantages you feel are in each form?

It’s funny, because a lot of people think that the switch and kind of the death of 2D animation in feature films — here in the U.S., especially — is because CG animation is cheaper. It’s not; it’s the same or more, really, and you almost need as many people too. It’s not like we even save a lot of money in CG animation on how many people you hire, and you certainly have higher equipment costs than ever before. And it’s not even necessarily faster.

The biggest difference between 2D and CG is that there’s a lot more upfront work in CG, and then 2D has more time at the end. Because in CG once they model the characters and get all that figured out, the animation process goes a lot quicker than in 2D, because now they have the model, it’s not going to change. It’s not like it’s going to get revised. And some of that happens, obviously, but they kind of stick to it. And then also, at certain point, once they put the lights in, there’s a lot more automated, what I would call “the ink and paint phase” in 2D. There’s the rendering process that goes a lot quicker, because once they model it, they know the colors and they’re already set.

We can get going a lot quicker [with 2D]; we can get into the animation phase, we can design the characters and all that and jump into animation a little sooner. But then the back end is a lot of cleanup and color background painting. All that is on the back end, and it can take a lot more time.

What was your favorite Disney film to work on, if you can narrow it down?

Oh, it’s pretty easy. It was “Mulan.”

I got to design and develop Mushu the dragon. And so because I was the supervising animator for Mushu on that film, I really got onto the film very early and put a lot of heart and soul into that film, more so than what I was able to on other films.

I did young Simba; I’m very proud of animating young Simba on “The Lion King,” but I worked under Mark Henn who was the supervisor of that. And he had designed Simba and was issuing me scenes and stuff. So I didn’t get to have as much of a say, I guess you could say, in defining his character, just in the scenes that I had, not like the whole character.

How do you approach putting personality into your characters? What things do you use to show a visual representation of that personality?

Some of that is in the character design. There’s certain things like when I was designing Mushu, we knew right off the bat that he was going to be a thin, snake-like dragon because I found out really quickly in my research, in Asian dragons, they’re usually based on snakes and things like that. The dragon in [“Sleeping Beauty”] is a European dragon, and they’re more like a crocodile or something like that. They’re very thick and massive. But the Asian ones usually are skimming across the water or they’re fire dragons. They also are elemental, and Mushu is a fire dragon, which we never mentioned in the movie. But it was part of his design.

I have flame-like shapes on him, and they oftentimes have fish scales. And he’s got a little mustache, kind of a fuzzy upper lip, which is based on a camel. They’re made up of different pieces: his cow ears and horns like an elk or something, although I shrunk them. He’s got kind of a pig’s nose; they’re usually made up of a lot of different animals. And so all of that research went into the design, even a very simplified form. If you look at Mushu, you don’t really guess those things as much. But every single thing on him is there for a reason, even his claws that are like an eagle’s claws. They’re just very simplified and stylized.

Learn more about Bancroft, his artwork and his podcast at www.tombancroftstudio.com.

[thesportssoundoff]

“Is Brazil prepared for a Dragon, a Phenom, Rocky, an Alligator and potentially some good old fashioned Lineker violence?” UFC 224 Preview

Joey

May 7th

These long UFC breaks are a real sore, aren't they? After what feels like a much longer than it actually is week and change; the UFC returns and it's coming straight to PPV with a very...strange card. The main card isn't perfect by any stretch but it's a) good enough to be respectable and b) filled with everything you'd want for a modern day PPV except for the main ingredient I suppose. You've got a quality competent high level title fight, you've got a legends fight that's years in the making (since at least 2013 when Machida made his decision to drop to 185 known), you've got a guaranteed action fight brawl between John Lineker and Brian Kelleher, a phenomenal prospect getting the vaunted third fight treatment and a #1 contender fight at 185 lbs assuming that Chris Weidman's broken hand/shoulder/neck/knee/everything is still on the mend. From there though I think the card really suffers primarily from a lack of one big defining fight that can tie it all together and make it a deep card. It's fine; it's a Brazilian level UFC event. I feel like it could've benefitted from a Iuri Alcantara sighting basically or some Brazilian of a high level who you could see as a prelim headliner.

Fights: 13

Debuts: 0

Fight Changes/Injury Cancellations: 0

Headliners (fighters who have either main evented or co-main evented shows in the UFC):  7 (Amanda Nunes, Ronaldo Souza, Kelvin Gastelum, Lyoto Machida, John Lineker, Thales Leites, Cezar Ferreira)

Fighters On Losing Streaks in the UFC:   1 (Thales Leites)

Fighters On Winning Streaks in the UFC:   5 (Alberto Mina, Raquel Pennington, Amanda Nunes, Elizeu Zaleski, Nick Hein)

Main Card Record Since Jan 1st 2016 (in the UFC):  25-9-2

Amanda Nunes- 4-0 Raquel Pennington- 3-0 Ronaldo Souza- 3-1 Kelvin Gastelum- 3-1-1 (really 4-1) Amanda Bobby Cooper- 2-2 Mackenzie Dern- 1-0 John Lineker- 4-1 Brian Kelleher- 3-1 Lyoto Machida- 1-1 Vitor Belfort- 1-2-1 (1-3 reaaaaaally)

Too High Up- Davi Ramos vs Nick Hein

In truth everything on the main card is pretty much what it should be. The prelims are such a grab bag of "decent but not thrilling" that it's hard to pick one fight that maybe has the capacity of being out of place. That belongs to this fight where Nick Hein returns from an extended absence to face Davi Ramos on the middle of the FS1 card. I have no beef with Davi Ramos but Hein is a notoriously slow boring fighter who more often than not has fights that tend to sap the will of viewers like they're trapped in a RNC. It's also worth pointing out that Hein is 33 and he hasn't fought since 2016. Put this on Fight Pass, man.

Too Low- Alberto Mina vs Ramazan Emeev

This is a touch hypocritical given Emeev stunk up the joint and Mina hasn’t fought in a year and change either. I get it but listen. Alberto Mina is a pretty fun fighter to watch who has finished 2 of his 3 UFC fights, racking up wins over Yoshihiro Akiyana and Mike Pyle if you're looking for "names" to get excited over. Ramazan Emeev is coming off a win at 185 lbs vs Sam Alvey in a dumb fight but Emeev is figured to be a fighter worth keeping an eye on at 170 lbs. It's a far more intriguing fight on paper than Hein/Ramos.

Stat Monitor for 2018: Debuting Fighters (Current number: 9-14):  

Short Notice Fighters (Current number: 10-4):

Second Fight (Current number: 12-12):  James Bochnovic, Markus Perez, Ramazan Emeev, Karl Roberson, Mackenzie Dern

Cage Corrosion (Current number: 5-10):  Alberto Mina, Sultan Aliev, Nick Hein, Raquel Pennington

Undefeated Fighters (Current number: 15-10):  Mackenzie Dern, Karl Roberson, Alberto Mina

Twelve Precarious Ponderings

1- Let's talk about the card real quick, eh? Amanda Nunes is under 30 but she'll be over the dreaded "RB decline age" shortly. How many other Brazilian fighters on this card are under 30?

John Lineker- 27 Junior Albini- 27 Warrley Alves- 27 Markus Perez- 27

Now Mackenzie Dern is 25 years old but she was born in the United States. If you want to give her to Brazil for the sake of continuity then you're more than welcome to but the point remains. What's more? Albini is coming off a loss, Alves is 1-2 in his last 3 fights, Markus Perez is coming off a loss and while we all love Lineker, I feel like the ceiling on him at 125 and 135 lbs has been somewhat established. People make a lot of talk about the lack of Brazilian champions but that's not a massive problem. I was there in 2012 when everybody was panicking about the lack of American champions during the Brazilian boom period of MMA. The problem is Brazil lacks a fresh young core of new talents under 30 who can make waves in the UFC. I mean stop me if you've heard this one BUT the hope when the UFC decided to invest countless dollars into Brazil was that at some point they'd find, cultivate and develop a bumper crop of young stars for when Anderson, Shogun, Maia, Machida, the Nog Brothers and Vitor were gone. It hasn't happened yet and each attempt has been in vain. That's why Thomas Almeida was received with open arms; it's not JUST that dude was a tremendous fight finisher and all violence fighter. It's that his youth and upside made him a product they HAD to try and develop. It's why Paulo Costa's development as a fighter is so vital; the 27 year old middleweight is a glorified unicorn at this point. Brazil doesn't need one last glory run from guys who are already established. What they REALLY need to do is to find new guys who can carry the banner.

Now the rule of thumb as always is that it only takes one to do it. A fighter like Michael Bisping is considered to have opened the door for other fighters and then the door was reopened by Conor McGregor for European fighters. It's hard to find a Hawaiian fighter who didn't get into MMA through BJ Penn fandom. Fedor is probably more responsible for the current influx of tremendous Russian born fighters than anybody else. The hope is 5-10 years from now, Ronda Rousey's lasting impact on MMA isn't the million buy PPVs or the out of the cage wackiness but the hundreds of women she'll have influenced to get into MMA.  There's no way to tell who it is and what it's going to take for it to happen. We've been waiting on Canada to find the heir to the GSP throne for quite some time now. Eventually a new fighter to capture the hearts and minds of the people will come----but time's ticking. Brazil isn't hopeless but it has to be getting to the point where the UFC is simply running out of draws for the market. No Nog, No Anderson, soon no Vitor, eventually no Maia, Werdum or Machida. Cyborg isn't going to be around for the UFC much longer either. The time for somebody to step up has NEVER been more immediate. Maybe this is why there's going to be a most convenient case of amnesia on where Mackenzie Dern was born.

2- There's an MMA fan theory I've seen on a few forums about the # of WMMA fights on a card relating to buyrate. The general feeling is that like flyweights, the more WMMA fights you have on a main card the less likely you are to pop a significant buyrate.  I decided to go back to 2016 and take a peek at the rumored buyrates for shows with TWO WMMA fights on a card.

UFC 196 (Nunes/Shevchenko, Holm/Nunes)- 1.3 mil UFC 205 (Joanna/Karolina, Tate/Pennington)- 1.3 mil UFC 219 (Holm/Cyborg, Esparza/Gadelha)- 300K UFC 222 (Cyborg/Kunitskaya, Vieira/Zingano)- 260K

So obviously we're not blessed with a tremendous sample size. We've got four events here and two of them with McGregor as the headliner did McGregor level numbers. The other two? I mean they're not bad! Mighty Mouse would sell his gaming rig to headline a PPV that did that kind of scratch. A WMMA headliner outside of Ronda tend to do alright-ish I suppose. I mean Holm vs GDR did in the 200K+ range and again, that sort of number would be something Mighty Mouse would hunger for. I guess the point I'm trying to illustrate is that I don't think this card is DOA. So what MIGHT it draw? Well....we can start by acknowledging that Brazil is where PPV buyrates go to die. Outside of Ronda making a pinch hit appearance to spruce the market (and secure a new deal for the UFC), these shows normally top off around the low to mid 300Ks. Now in today's PPV market that sounds pretty damn fine but that was with Anderson Silva in the height of his GOATness headlining. Jose Aldo PPVs from Brazil routinely did awful bottom of the barrel type numbers. The last time the UFC did a PPV in Brazil; the general thought was that it topped off around the 250K+ range. Not awful of course but probably not the best either for a unification bout between Aldo and Holloway. This card is a lot better than people are giving it credit for but Nunes vs Shevchenko left a sour taste in people's mouths plus Amanda Nunes is just genuinely unpopular. In today's PPV market, it takes more than just a card of really good fights. It has to be "an event" more than just "a fight." If this card drops below 200K, I think that's probably a bad deal.

3- I feel like this is going to answer more questions than Nunes/Shevchenko II re: Amanda Nunes and her long term success going forward. If you drew up a fighter who could prey on the things that have been of woe to Nunes' success, it's a fighter who has SOME of the Rocky Pennington attributes. The sort of person who doesn't get overwhelmed by pressure, who can dish it out and take it in return, who hits surprisingly hard and relies on durability and patience. Pennington is really crude but she makes it work for her and she's one of those fighters who fights better when tired. Amanda Nunes has struggled with people who don't fold vs her pressure and her cardio remains a question until I see her in a fight where it's truly tested. Her vs Shevchenko was a low output high leverage staring contest which didn't really force her to exert much of anything. To this point, Nunes deserves fantastic credit for making sure cardio isn't an issue by just running through people. This is still a very unique test for her.

4- I just wish Pennington hadn't been gone for over a year. This year I started tracking performances of fighters who take more than a year off and the 5-10 number is not pretty. What's more; Nunes is arguably the best first round fighter in MMA today and so if Pennington is rusty (which she will be), she might not even get a chance to test what Nunes has in rounds 3, 4 and 5.

5- Kelvin Gastelum vs Jacare is such a weird fight for me. It's a fight where logic dictates Gastleum should have no shot given the size difference but one where he remains a credible threat. I lack a defined way to describe Jacare other than to call him perhaps history's most undervalued commodity; one of the best grapplers with really good striking backed by one of the games most active fight IQs. Like Damien Maia, he just isn't athletic enough to really get over a certain caliber of fighters. Guys who he can't get down he often struggles with and against Whittaker and Romero, he was taken out of his gameplan early due to a speed and athleticism disadvantage. Like Whittaker, Gastelum will give up size in exchange for speed and the cardio advantage. The key difference is Whittaker is insanely hard to get down and keep down whereas I can't get Weidman taking Gastelum down out of my head. Gastelum CAN be taken down but on the ground he's really great at neutralizing offense and getting back to his feet. I'm just not sure Jacare is the right person to want to try to show that off against. Jacare also does some of his best work securing takedowns against the cage and Gastelum does his best work practically leaning on the fence. This is a really good fight with the winner leaving no doubt as to who the #1 contender is since Chris Weidman has evaporated into the ether seemingly.

6- Have the expectations become too much for Mackenzie Dern? It's beginning to feel like if she doesn't steamroll ABC in the first round then the scrutiny on her performance is going to be pretty crazy.

7- It's a little bit bittersweet that Lyoto Machida vs Vitor Belfort is potentially a double retirement fight. The fact we never got Anderson vs Vitor II or Lyoto vs Shogun III will always be bummers to me. On the other hand, we've hit "No mas" for Vitor Belfort like a full two years ago and Machida is either at that point or quickly approaching it. This is a rare acceptable legends fight with the right market to engage in it.

8- Since they're fighting we might as well ask this; whose legacy is more vital to the history of MMA? Vitor Belfort or Lyoto Machida?

9- There are going to be actual human beings walking among us breathing our air and drinking our water who will not watch Lineker vs Kelleher based solely on their height and weight. These creatures exist.

10- If you haven't seen Yoshihiro Akiyama vs Alberto Mina yet, I recommend you do so. One of the wilder and crazier fights in recent memory which is forgotten since it happened at like 8 AM Eastern.

11- The best prospect on this entire show is not a Brazilian but an American in Karl Roberson. He trains out of a tiny gym in New Jersey, was thrown into the fire of kickboxing vs Jerome LeBanner and Dustin Jacoby and before his sixth mma fights, he was already in the UFC. After ONE fight in the UFC, he was already trying to step up to fight Vitor Befort on LESS than 24 hours notice. He's the rare good example of guys tested before they're ready in that he's already faced a fire storm and come out stronger each time. He's got Cezar Mutante in the FX prelim headliner.

12- Elizeu Zaleski has been in five UFC fights. Three of them won a FOTN bonus and the Dalby-Zeleski fight should've won a fourth. He is all action all the time and while Sean Strickland is not the right opponent if you want to have an action fight, I get the feeling Zaleski will drag him into one kicking and screaming.

Must Wins

1- Amanda Nunes

Simply put this show is all about her. She's getting a bit of a stay busy opponent in Pennington with the right kind of strengths to test what have previously been flaws for Nunes. The show is all about her and it's being built around her returning to Brazil as the UFC's top Brazilian champion (at least over the long haul).

2- Jacare Souza

Kelvin Gastelum is really young for 185 lbs so the opportunity to be a contender/champion is always going to be there for him. This is about 38 year old Jacare trying to finally get a UFC title shot after scrapping and scrounging for over five years in the org plus an MMA career that feels like it spans well into the 19th century. The last time he was this close; her an into a fighter similar to Kelvin Gastelum who wouldn't get taken down and just pieced him up in striking range until Jacare just couldn't take it anymore. Lightning strikes twice?

3- Mackenzie Dern

Take everything said about Nunes and then put that in here minus the champion bit. Dern is Brazil's top prospect for the UFC now that Thomas Almeida has sort of settled into a bit of a mid level range.

Five Can't Miss Fights

1- Brian Keller vs John Lineker

2- Lyoto Machida vs Vitor Belfort

3- Kelvin Gastelum vs Ronaldo Souza

4- Elizeu Zaleski vs Sean Strickland

5- Junior Albini vs his diaper

[xnxadultstore]

Foodie Coloring Books

Completely thrilled with the Foodie’s Colouring guide and what a terrific concept!

I obtain a lot of coloring books like this however not often do I get so excited once I begin going via the pages. I’m a Foodie and a Coloring Book Addict so the 2 passions in a single place are good. First, you get enjoyable and fanciful foodie footage to paint in, all with a singular model clearly hand-drawn, none of this throw it collectively in Photoshop stuff. Next, you get pages with quotes from notable Foodies like Julia Child to paint in and hilarious footage, a favourite is an octopus with totally different cooking utensils in all eight of his “hands” I simply acquired this yesterday and usually I wait to do a evaluate however not so with this guide.

As if the enjoyable footage to paint weren’t sufficient, within the heart of this guide are some wildly YUMMY wanting sweets photographs with the recipe included. I believe I gained weight simply them however will probably be heading to the shop for substances at the moment!

The footage are one-sided so no issues with bleed via. There can also be a enjoyable quiz to seek out out simply HOW a lot of a wild Foodie YOU are. 

“Everyone knows a foodie or is a foodie themselves. Foodies love good food, good company, and sharing the tastes and flavors of a well-cooked dish. In The Foodie’s Colouring Book, foodies can rejoice and relax as they colour in a variety of food-themed images, take the foodie quiz, laugh at the foodie alphabet, and join the adult colouring book craze sweeping the world. For mindfulness or just for fun, The Foodie’s Colouring Book also includes a bonus cookbook section with sweet recipes to cook at home. Colour, cook, create!”

We had been thrilled to have the ability to get slightly one on one time with the illustrator of the Foodie Colouring Book Haylea Bridle.

What do you get pleasure from drawing probably the most

I very a lot loved the problem of drawing meals I wouldn’t usually draw. Oysters for instance, I need to say, had been by no means on the prime of my to-do checklist, nevertheless I believe I can now say if ‘Oyster Anatomy; an intimate glance’ occurred to be a subject at pub trivia, I’d be going residence with the meat tray.

How did you get began?

By testing my dad and mom’ persistence as a toddler. Things had been drawn on that shouldn’t have been drawn on, utilizing issues that shouldn’t have been used to attract with. I referred to as it my ‘experimental phase’, my dad and mom’ referred to as it their ‘blue phase’.

Who or what has impressed you?

For this guide, breakfast, lunch and dinner (aaand the various snacks in between) turned edible inspiration. Humble snack expeditions to the fridge started to take slightly longer because it reworked into 5 cabinets of (at some instances, decomposing) reference. A mere sandwich was by no means escorted to my mouth with no notepad as witness.I’ve a spatially inconvenient behavior of amassing massive quantities of youngsters’s image books, from which I additionally draw nice inspiration. A truth the shelving part of my native IKEA can attest to. Some discover inspiration in Tolstoy; I discover inspiration in Toy Story

.Do you want to paint in your designs or choose to have others do this? Others! I coloured within the cowl for The Foodies Coloring Book, and I can say at that time limit, I used to be experiencing little or no therapeutic profit that coloring in is thought for, figuring out that each line rebelling pencil stroke could be on present! As these illustrations had been created with the intent of being black and white, there’s nothing higher than seeing somebody breathe new life into them with colour.

What provides (manufacturers) do you advocate on your guide(s)? My favorite colored pencils are by a model referred to as LYRA. They are so lovely to carry, it makes you by no means wish to decide up anything once more. They are smudge-proof and waterproof too, particularly useful for these prone to a celebrational weep as soon as completed colouring!

This illustration and quote simply cracked me up.. Check out the Melons Dolly Parton is holding! 

We additionally wish to know what the guide publishers have in retailer for colorists so we did a brief Q&A with them as nicely. Hopefully, the coloring “craze” is a good way for extra individuals to find and profit this fashion.

The Coloring Book pattern doesn’t appear to be slowing down.. if something it’s selecting up within the US with increasingly more artistic and distinctive concepts for individuals to attach with. The posterzines the writer spoke of earlier than can be found too with “The Foodie’s Colouring Posters” that includes 2 big posters and three small posters. What enjoyable for a restaurant opening or a potluck get together.

These books are additionally out there on the Book Depository presumably with much less postage so examine there as nicely. I’ll be coloring on this guide very quickly and sharing my outcomes and ideas in regards to the paper on the social media channels so be anticipating that, and by chance I acquired a set of Lyra Colored Pencils for Christmas so I’ll be making an attempt these out first since they had been prompt by the illustrator.

All these concerned with this coloring guide would like it if you happen to use the hashtags #foodiescolouring #foodiescoloring or #foodiescolouringbook if you colour in a web page to allow them to see their creations dropped at life by the colorists on the market.

Funny Foodie Coloring Books for Adults

Suck My Cookbook: Clean Recipes for Dirty Minds 

A Coloring Book by Cherrie Poppins (Author),‎ Wild Billy (Illustrator) Suck my Cookbook has all of it. Naughtily intelligent illustrations that match up with the recipes. You not solely have coloring to do, there are additionally phrase search, crossword puzzles and extra to maintain you busy. This could be a PERFECT White Elephant present trade present in case your group has humorousness in addition to the foodie in your present checklist. I’m thrilled the writer despatched me a number of copies, I’ve already discovered properties for them and might’t wait to see what my buddies do with them.

Click to order Amazon US, UK & Canada  or Book Depository

Severe Snacks Coloring Book

This guide is lovable and excellent for somebody that prefers humorous and entertaining over intensely detailed coloring. Each of those illustrations is hand achieved, no computer-generated artwork right here. Prepare your self to paint in all your favourite snacks- from a healthful, vicious apple to candy, but evil toaster pastries- attacking each other with glee and abandon. *Warning- comprises snack-on-snack violence. May trigger laughter and abdomen rumblings! Click to Order Amazon US, UK or Canada

Taco Life: A Spicy Adult Coloring Book

Spiral-bound, printed on one aspect with 76 pages, the enjoyable coloring guide with it’s “Ode to Taco’s” theme will hold you laughing the entire manner via. You will ‘colour your manner via this snarky Taco-obsessed guide stuffed with pages of one-liners all taco devourers can get pleasure from. Oh, and a few recommendation. This guide is finest served with…you guessed it. Tacos.” How enjoyable!

 Click to Order Amazon US, UK & Canada

Southern Living Celebrations Cakes: A Lifestyle Coloring Book

I just lately noticed this coloring guide within the Target journal part and thought it was a superb concept, combining two of my favourite issues! Coloring and fabulous desserts. Each web page has a cake to paint and on the alternative web page the recipe for the cake. Click to Order Amazon US, UK or Canada

Delicious Whimsey Coloring Book

31 fun-to-color, mouthwatering phrase designs. Unique and playful illustrations characteristic the shapes of meals gadgets fashioned by quite a lot of associated phrases. Images embrace an ice cream cone, pancakes, pizza, cupcake, hamburger, fries, and extra. Pages are perforated and printed on one aspect just for straightforward elimination and show. Click to Order Amazon US, UK or Canada

A Cozy Coloring Cookbook – 40 Simple Recipes to Cook Eat and Color

Drawing inspiration from her lovely weblog A Cozy Kitchen, cookbook writer and meals blogger Adrianna Adarme has created an grownup coloring cookbook with 40 glad, cozy, and attractive recipes and illustrations—together with pizza for breakfast and kaleidoscope ratatouille tarts Click to Order Amazon US, UK or Canada

The Great British Bakeoff Coloring

Book Color your manner via 90 lovely illustrations of your favourite bakes by the official Bake-Off illustrator, Tom Hovey. Forget the recipe, take off these oven gloves and unleash your inventive aptitude — enhance showstopping truffles and bakes while the strain’s actually off.

Designer Desserts

From Creative Haven, greater than 30 unique, mouthwatering cake and cupcake designs let everybody be a part of within the enjoyable. Pages are perforated and printed on one aspect just for straightforward elimination and show.

Life is Delicious a spiral-bound Coloring Cafe guide

These 45 pleasant coloring pages drawn by the gifted artist, Ronnie Walter, will take you from the kitchen to the desk too, however with out all of the clean-up.

Coloring Books for Wine Lovers and Cocktail Fans

Color Your Cocktails by the Martini Diva

Stir and shake up some coloring and cocktail enjoyable with cocktails like “You’ll SHOOTER You’re Eye Out!”, “It’s All About MEmosa!” and classics just like the Daiquiri, Gin Martini, and Pina Colada. Have enjoyable following the Martini Diva on Instagram right here. She additionally has some holiday-themed cocktails books to play in:

Wine Time Coloring Book

This guide is designed for these colorists preferring easier designs and love wine. 30 one-sided pages by Rachel Jones stuffed with wine and whimsey.

Click to Order Amazon US –  UK –  Canada  & Book Depository

Wine Time 2 – Whimsical Refreshments

Click to Order Amazon US –  UK –  Canada  & Book Depository

If you might be new to coloring or simply wish to dive in slightly deeper you should definitely learn our expansive provide suggestions together with our ideas and tips articles.

*How to Get Started with Adult Coloring Best Colored Pencils *Best Gel Pens *Best Markers that Don’t Bleed Through the Paper * Background Supplies *Coloring Tutorials *13 Tips & Tricks for Colorists

You may also be a part of our Coloring Book Addict Facebook Group Here.

The post Foodie Coloring Books appeared first on XNX Adult Store.

[celebistar]

Personal: Hiatus

Personal venting; warnings, frank talk about my own poor mental health lately, specifically anxiety, so if you're not feeling well yourself you should probably avoid.

Honestly, I’m really on-edge right now as I’m writing this, but I felt I had to get something out or I just cannot sleep (not that it’s easy anyway with jetlag…) It feels really strange b/c I haven't done this type of really-personal ‘feelings’ post/rant for a long time now, not since I was RPing but well…sometimes you just gotta get your feelings out.

It isn’t really any one thing or aspect or event in particular, but just lately, especially in the past month or two, I’ve noticed myself engaging less and less with Nobunagun, i.e. fanart/fanfics. Partly it’s just the cycles of life and work and limited time, but honestly the truth is, I feel that I am…reaching the end of my “Nobunagun rope”, so to speak. Lately I’ve just been mentally burnt out, not because of any one thing, but instead of the raging wildfire I used to feel whenever I engaged in my fics and art at like 1:30am, I just feel…oh. Like neither like nor dislike, which it in and of itself is nothing wrong, but for someone like me who has always bounced from obsession to obsession—and I mean that quite literally—it’s a scary and strange feeling. Frankly, I don’t know if I like it; not being able to fall back onto my creative imaginations whenever I want to, whether it’s to pass time due to boredom or to help me cope when other stressful things happen in my life.

Now, most people would probably say ‘well that’s normal isn’t it? Interests always change’ and yes, they do; in fact, before Nobunagun I inevitably shifted interests after a while—I think YGO was the first really big one, but even before that there were myriad of series like Digimon, Cardcaptors, etc. etc…and each time I thought ‘wow, GX (or some other series) is so great, I don’t know how I can run out of ideas!’ but gradually I did move on—usually because some other interest caught my eye and was more exciting, so by the time I consciously realized I wasn’t super obsessed with the previous one, it was more like an ‘oh well’. I never really stopped to think or really miss it, because there was always something new to entertain me, keep me thinking at 110% (kinda like serial dating now that I think about it, like those people who keep chasing that initial ‘high’ you get at the start of something new but you can never maintain). Now that I am sort-of-kind-of in that phase of ‘whoa, something’s obviously wrong if you’re feeling mentally unwell so let’s take a step back’, I think it is true; that, honestly, it isn’t healthy to have an obsessive relationship with Nobunagun 24/7. It may seem strange that I am using relationship terms to describe a fandom, but I think they are parallels in many ways. But there’s a difference and it’s that Nobunagun is just a thing, a really great thing yes—but it’s not a person. It doesn’t make decisions or tell me what to do; frankly everything I choose to engage in, is 100% in my own control. But somehow, over the course of being a fan, I seemed to have imposed these really strange, invisible ‘pressures’ on myself, so to speak. Perhaps it comes from having a mind that is either all or nothing when it comes to interests, or maybe it’s because I always managed to move on to something more exciting before the old interest fully waned. I don’t know.

All I know is that whatever my ‘relationship’ with Nobunagun is right now, it’s not healthy nor good. Realistically speaking, I know it’s nearly impossible to like something 100% of the time, 24/7. I believe it is possible to sustain interests for your entire life—drawing, writing, gaming—or even series—I mean, I myself have loved the Fire Emblem series ever since they came out in the US and I don’t see myself stopping anytime soon. But unlike Nobunagun, Fire Emblem has always been what I would consider a ‘background’ interest; it’s always there but I rarely engage in what I would consider fandom activities, such as drawing fanart or writing fanfiction. Hell, I rarely even read FE fanfiction anymore (though I used to). Yet despite all this, despite advice from people I trust and love, and despite my own logical mind telling me this…I just can’t seem to let it go. At least, not easily. For some reason the very thought of no longer liking Nobunagun as I used to, so passionately—not even just no longer interested but just ‘not as interested as before’…it sends me into panic attacks. In fact I have actually been suffering quite bad anxiety these past few weeks because of this very dilemma—unable to focus, panicking the second I see something Nobunagun and I don’t feel excited, trouble sleeping…I mean hell I’ve even had trouble starting new anime series because there’s always this inkling in the back of my mind ‘what if this is the show that replaces Nobunagun?' I don’t know why I think of it as that; I don’t know why I have this self-imposed chain around myself and Nobunagun, even though it’s all my own thoughts. I just know what is, and that’s just what it feels like. I don’t know why I have such a severe trepidation of something else replacing Nobunagun even though it’s just how interests come and go and frankly, it was Nobunagun that replaced Eyeshield 21 before it.

Now, most people would say this is a sign that I should probably take a step back and re-evaluate just what it is that’s actually important in my life, and take care of myself—no thinking of Nobunagun, no trying to churn out another 2-3 chapters or another illustration in a week. And I do agree; I know, deep down, that this is warning sign that if I don’t change something soon, then I won’t even be able to salvage my love for Nobunagun—it’ll just turn into a destructive mess that ends with the only recourse being complete and utter amputation. Which is definitely not something I want. And yet it’s really hard to tell myself that it will be okay, that I will come out of this maybe not liking Nobunagun with a raging passion 110% of the time but maybe only like 30% of the time, and that’s okay—but somehow it’s very difficult to convince myself of that (if it were, trust me I wouldn’t be up typing this at 1am). I’m very much reminded of a time earlier, when I was still very active in RPing and I went through a very similar upheaval…how I couldn’t imagine not RPing anymore, how I couldn’t imagine going on in the fandom without it…but in the end, looking back I know I made the right choice, and I came out better for it. I didn’t lose my love of Nobunagun after basically stopping role-playing, and I learned, slowly, to be passionate about it again without being anxious. I came out all right and what’s more I felt l learned a lot and became a better person because of those hard times. And when that time really came, it just faded naturally and without fear—these days let’s be honest, I don’t RP anymore, even though I have the accounts—they’re honestly just there for archival/dump purposes. So that’s how I know I made the right choice…I have no regrets and I don’t/didn’t feel fear when I stopped roleplaying. It just happened naturally, and I can still look back on those times fondly.

So maybe this phase right now is just another one of those hard obstacles that I have to face, sooner or later, maybe it didn't even have to be with Nobunagun but it just so happens that Nobunagun is the thing that I'm into now…maybe it’s a reconciliation of the last remnants of being a ‘super-fan’, that Nobunagun may be the last fandom I really feel a lot of passion for, and it’s hard to say good-bye to what feels like a huge part of what defined you. Maybe it’s something else. Maybe I’ll come out of this with a looser, but still warm relationship with Nobunagun. As my boss (of all people) once told me, ‘think of it as trading fireworks for a comfortable shirt; in the beginning of anything, it feels like there’s always fireworks going off because it’s so new and exciting, but after a while things start to even out and you don’t always feel excited, all the time. It becomes more like wearing a comfortable old shirt; it’s kind of the same over and over, but it’s familiar and comforting. And when those fireworks do come again, it’ll still be exciting—but just not all the time, so when they come you’ll treasure them.’

Maybe that’s the real answer; what I would like to be able to do, is like so many of my friends, is to rotate through different interests—Fire Emblem when a new banner comes out, whatever anime I happen to be watching this season—and go back and forth so when I’m thinking ‘hey, I don’t feel like writing Nobunagun stuff’ I can go and engage with something else. Yet it doesn’t feel like I can, even though I know I am capable of it; back when I was into YGO Zexal, I actually went between different fandoms quite often—off the top of my head were Star Trek, Mass Effect, but at the same time I never lost interest in Zexal; it was just kind of there, and I went back to it after a while. So, I know from past experience I’m capable of it…and back then, I didn’t feel any sort of fear or trepidation of being into something else—but of course each experience is different and it could be that the new thing didn’t allow me room to question whether or not I still liked the old thing—but anyway that’s a different topic.

Going back and actually reading my personal posts during that really bad mental period where I had to take a hiatus from RPing and Tumblr in general (or the ones that I haven’t deleted anyway), it actually is strangely calming because it proves to me, gives me physical evidence that I went through something so painful and never thought I would be okay but guess what I turned out okay. So it gives me hope…that this too, like everything else shall pass. It’s also kind of ironic that many of the things that I said then are what I’m saying now—so I don’t know, maybe it means something, maybe it doesn’t.

But what I do know, is that for the time being, I must take a step back. I must find a way to break these self-imposed chains that force me to think ‘you must obsess over Nobunagun 24/7’ so it doesn’t consume me to the point where my mental health deteriorates. So I don’t end up seeing Nobunagun as a dark spot in my life, but rather a positive thing and something that I will continue to like, but in a more balanced relationship. Not freaking out when I realize that maybe I’m just too tired to think about Nobunagun right now, and knowing that a lot of this is honestly the anxiety talking. Speaking of which, the sucky part about anxiety is that there isn’t a cure—it’s a condition, but you can manage it, and not let it define you. Meditation has done a lot for me, both in the past and now more than ever, and also just writing things out—hence why this really long-ass post.

Anyway; strange how writing things out and admitting your deepest fears can make them seem less scary and overwhelming. Perhaps that’s the point of journaling and such? Although my handwriting is so terrible these days and so slow that it’s faster for me to type rather than keep an analog journal…maybe some people will think that I am freaking out over nothing, that a fandom is nothing to lose sleep over but well, we all have our vices I suppose. I mean hey, at least it’s just a static thing, and not say, an abusive partner.

In any case, for the immediate time being I will be going on hiatus—just like that time when I kept getting anxiety about RPing, and I had to take a step back—I must do that now, too. Frankly I don’t think it will make much of a difference since I rarely update here anyway but on that note, I will not be checking for notifs/contacts on Tumblr or really anywhere else. i don’t know when I’ll ‘come back’ and honestly I don’t want to keep putting myself on schedules or deadlines; when I feel ready, I’ll know and it’ll happen naturally. I have the most wonderful friends and family so have no fear, I will not be alone. I’m sure I’ll be back, when I feel ready.

[kenshiliker]

mcfuck load of things i was tagged in going here thanks everyone that tagged me & im sorry for this Entire Mess

Also I was tagged in 3 different things that have like similar fuckign questions so im jst gonna stick them all into 1 tag bc if not you’d have me repeating my damn names 18 times and thts no fun for Anyone)

Meet the blogger meme (Tagged by @bodhierso, thank u ark!! @woehuxbub tHJANKS FAMTHER & @orsonkraennic)

i. name:  徐

ii. nickname: OH LORD I HAVE SO MANY um I’ll just put the main ones; Brucie, Jerry, Tiaan, King Dickard II

iii. zodiac sign: Sagittarius / Dragon (Chinese Zodiac)

iv. height: ??? UH I think 160 cm the last I measured but I’m not sure. Over 5′3″ iirc.

v. orientation: Ace (the helpful place)

vi. ethnicity: Chinese 

vii. favorite fruit: Orange, Strawberry and Banana, L E M O N (u fucKIGN COWARDS)

viii. favorite season: Autumn/Winter but I’m stuck in hell so guess I’ll Die

ix. favorite book / book series: I don’t read many books but I like Shakespeare’s stuff & also Sherlock Holmes

x. favorite flower: Hibiscus rosa-sinensis (this is as patriotic as I get tbh), PLANTA GENISTA

xi. favorite scent: Nothing too strong or I’ll feel nauseous. Maybe a soft vanilla? ...And maybe orange. Or Lemon.

xii. favorite color: ORANGE (funny story is that my dad’s fav colour was orange and I decided to project frm a young age and wow guess what Orange has been my fav colour ever since), White, Black, Blue, Red

xiii. coffee, tea or cocoa: T e a slorp slorp

xiv. average sleep hours: Depends on what I have planned the next day. Lately (due to exam month) it’s been about 5 hrs per week so guess I’ll die

xv. cat or dog person: I like both as long as I’m not being chased

xvi. favorite fictional characters: ghhh Bruce Wayne, Tiaan Jerjerrod, Illya Kuryakin, B.J. Hunnicutt, Freddy Newandyke, Cal Lightman, (and Duke of Aumerle & Richard II if they count,,, hte Shookspeare version)

xvii. dream trip: UK,,, Get Me Out Of Here, 

xviii. blogs created: 4 (This one, TMFU blog, Secret Shakespeare Blog & Secret Art Blog) (I haven’t posted on the latter two) (That’s why they’re a ‘secret’)

xix. number of followers: 940 here (how even the Fuck) & 1582 on the TMFU blog.

xx.  random fact: I recently sat on the hard wood floor for 10 hours straight (s/o to you if you remember this) and felt myself just physically shrivel up and die. I literally hurt everywhere bc if I wasn’t sitting down, I was laying on the ground and gOD It took me a week to feel better but yeah god 11/10 would not recommend

xxi. number of blankets you sleep with: There’s like 4 on my bed lmao I’M LIVING

xxii.  blog created: I’ve had a tumblr since like... 2010 and I didn’t really use it until 2012, 2013 was my first year I was really active

xxiii. nationality: Malaysian

Tagged by Krenny again, to answer all these questions, and then tag 15 people 5 things you’ll find in my bag: SUPERMAN WALLET, Phone, Powerbank + Cable, Earphones, Art Supplies

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom: 5000 Stuffed Animals, DC shit, SW garb, The decapitated head of Jar Jar Binks that greets the visitors, Convention merch (+4 GAY REALLY FUCKING GAY, SO GAY THAT IF MY PARENTS FOUND THEM I’D BE FUCKING DEAD, fanbooks of TMFU which are in Chinese, sent by my lovely Internet Sister)

5 things I’ve always wanted to do: Get some air-dry paper clay and make tiny sculptures or something, learn how to paint properly, have nice handwriting, visit the UK again, WATCH A PLAY

5 things that make me happy: My unhealthy coping mechanisms, my favs, my friends!!, drawing (sometimes), reading/learning about something I’m interested in

5 things I’m currently into: TIM ROTH, LIE TO ME, Shakespeare, Star Wars, DC

5 things on my to do list: Get good fuckin grades for once in my damn life aye, finish watching Lie To Me, finish reading As You Like It and Othello, finish the school year & be done with it for the rest of my life, memorise all the experiments for the physics syllabus by Thursday if not my teacher will literally grill me

and lastly, tagged by @bunn1cula​ and Krenny again! Thank u two am loaf the both of u,

the last

1. drink: water 2. phone call: irl friend that is saved as ‘Mr. Pink’ in my phone (as per their request fhghg) 3. text message: ‘👌👌’ or if chats count then:

4. song you listened to: HOOKED ON A FEELING 5. time you cried: Yesterday while watching Lie To Me 6. dated someone twice: Nooooot yet 7. kissed someone and regretted it: NOT FOR ME THnks 8. been cheated on: ?? I don’t know. Probably not. 9. lost someone special: Yes 10. been depressed: Yeah, still am, but I think it’s not so bad nowadays (hopefully). 11. got drunk and thrown up: Never

3 favourite colours

12. Orange 13. White 14. Black

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: Yeah, definitely!  16. fallen out of love: NOT YET BUT MAYBE SOON 17. laughed until you cried: GOD A HECK OF A LOT OF TIMES 18. found out someone was talking about you: No, not really. I mean, there’s an asshole in my class that loves talking shit about me but I honestly don’t give a fuck about him he’s Irrelavant. 19. met someone who changed you: I don’t really know,,, I think I’m still the same? 20. found out who your friends are: I’ve never really had an issue with anyone, really. Maybe except one or two people, but yeah, the rest of y’all are alright. 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: NO

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: About 60/93 of them. I plan to boot a ton of them after I graduate tho. 23. do you have any pets: UNFORTUNATELY NO but I’d love a cat 24. do you want to change your name: UM SURE I mean it’d be kinda nice bc I hate when people I hate tainted my name by calling it, so yea, Yes 25. what did you do for your last birthday: I don’t think I did anything at all. 26. what time did you wake up: 6.30 a.m. (gotta love tht School Life) 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: ,,,Watching Lie To Me, reading fics instead of studying for my exam, 28. name something you can’t wait for: GRADUATING and getting tf outta here. 29. when was the last time you saw your mum: Last night ghghg 31. what are you listening to right now: Stuck In The Middle With You 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: I was the person named Tom once, so, yes. 33. something that is getting on your nerves: My shitty fucking class/school. 34. most visited website: Tumblr, YouTube 35. hair colour: Dark brown 36. long or short hair: Short! 37. do you have a crush on someone: Mnnn 50/50 38. what do you like about yourself: I’m kinda sorta funny & I can draw sometimes 39. piercings: None 40. blood type: A+ 41. nickname: Jerry, Brucie, Tiaan, King Dickard II 42. relationship status: Single & That’s Alrighty 43. zodiac: Sagittarius 44. pronouns: He/Him or They/Them 45. favourite tv show: RN IT’S LIE TO ME (TIM ROTH COULD FUCKIGNG LIE TO ME RIGHT IN MY FACE & I’D BE LIKE WOW UR TELLIGN THE TRUTH I BELIEVE IN U), but I also like M*A*S*H, The Man From U.N.C.L.E. and The Twilight Zone 46. tattoos: I idon’t really want any! 47. right or left handed: Right

first

48. surgery: None to my knowledge, or maybe a few when I was super young bc my moves (lungs) are weak babe 49. piercing: None (my mom keeps trying to get me to pierce my ear but it’s not my thing, & also if I do get it i’ll only get one and it’ll be the Gay Ear) 50. sport: Football, I think? In any case, I’m bomb as hell at getting hit in the fucking head by the sports balls.  51. vacation: London or Australia iirc 52. pair of trainers: I don’t remember either, I can barely remember anything from 2016.

more general

53. eating: Nothing at the moment 54. drinking: Water 55. i’m about to: Nap or watch Lie To Me (I haven’t decided) 56. waiting for: My exams to be over 57. want: Nothing at the moment 58. get married: Sure? I’m not really opposed to marriage as a whole, but if it starts getting yikes you bet your ass I’m gonna fucking bounce 59. career: I don’t have a career rn but I’d like to do illustration/concept art it seems p cool. Either that or become a psychologist and charge people $30 for readings.

which is better

60. hugs or kisses: I don’t like either 61. lips or eyes: Eyes 62. shorter or taller: I don’t really care. I love both short girls and guys (@tiM), and tall girls and guys are just as good! 63. older or younger: Doesn’t really matter to me either. 64. nice arms or nice stomach: Also doesn’t really matter but if ur arms are good I’m definitely eyes emoji af 65. hook up or relationship: Relationship. 66. troublemaker or hesitant: See, I’d say hesitant but I don’t really know that either. Just as long as you’re not doing some stupid shit we’re good.

have you ever

67. kissed a stranger: No 68. drank hard liquor: Nope.. Well, not to my knowledge. 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: I don’t wear either ghgng 70. turned someone down: No 71. sex on the first date: N O 72. broken someone’s heart: UH Yeah when I was 13 (how even the fucK.) 73. had your heart broken: yEP 74. been arrested: Never bc I’m a cop, Larry 75. cried when someone died: Yes. I’m okay throughout the funeral but the minute it registers that I’m never gonna see them again, I’m gooooone af. Even if I didn’t particularly like the person when they were alive. 76. fallen for a friend: YEAH!!! But it’s usually one of those new-friend crushes sourry.

do you believe in

77. yourself: I mean, Sometimes. It’s like... Can I do it? Most Likely. Did I do it correctly? Most Likely Not. 78. miracles: Not really, no. 79. love at first sight: Yeah, sure, I mean everyone’s different, so who’s to say just because I don’t feel it someone else doesn’t. 80. santa claus: No way my dude 81. kiss on the first date: Depends bc at mY AGE I’m not boutta put my face anywhere near someone else’s thts jst weird 82. angels: Mayhaps,,,, I don’t believe that they don’t exist, if that makes sense.

other

83. current best friend’s name: Mmmnnnn Kylogram (Kyle Ron), maybe? I’ve a few best friends. 84. eye colour: Dark brown, they look kinda nice in the sun I guess. 85. favourite movie: RESERVOIR DOGS, Four Rooms, Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead, The Lion in Winter, TMFU, Wonder Woman, ROTJ, Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade

--

This is a big Mess, but yeA I’m tagging whoever was mentioned above & no one else bc this has gone on for long enough, to do the one you weren’t tagged in or hell do the first one if you want, bc that one is a compilation of like 3 different tag memes ghfh. Good bye u all.

(OH YEAH if ur a mutual/follower/whoEVER who sees this feel free to do if if you’d like!! Say I tagged you if you’d like to c:)

[estherspizza]

Get to know me (Tag)

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

i didn’t expect that our beautiful tumblr relationship has been started by a robot? Thanks for tagging me >w

LAST:

1. Drink: fanta 2. Phone call: my teacher (lol) 3. Text message: my bff 4. Song you listened to: ヒーロー by amazarashi 5. Time you cried: nearly cried (maybe without reasons) yesterday

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: nope 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: no 8. Been cheated on: no 9. Lost someone special: not yet 10. Been depressed: everyday 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: not even at the right legal age to drink

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: black, white and dark blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: soon (i hope)  16. Fallen out of love: (lol always cos i always like someone who i’m not supposed to like) 17. Laughed until you cried: yes but rarely 18. Found out someone was talking about you: maybe? 19. Met someone who changed you: everyone around me has changed me forever(mostly positively) 20. Found out who your friends are: yes 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: no? (is this a thing?lol)

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: maybe all? i don’t use it that often 23. Do you have any pets: no, but i wish i had or i will 24. Do you want to change your name: nah 25. What did you do for your last birthday: be at home and waited for death? 26. What time do you wake up: around 10 am (if i have nothing to do) 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: I was (a bit) stressing out after the uni offer was released, and life (mostly life dk what i’m doing wanted death) 28. Name something you can’t wait for:  death 29. When was the last time you saw your mom?: just by now 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my social anxiety 31. What are you listening to right now: らしさ by SUPER BEAVER (anime barakamon’s opening) 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes he’s a huge otaku but so friendly tho 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: going to uni and adulting after uni 34. Most visited website: Insta and tumblr 35. Mole/s: yes 36. Mark/s: no 37. Childhood dream: became a bird or be like naruto/sasuke (tf lol) 38. Hair color: dark brown 39. Long or short hair: long 40. Do you have a crush on someone: eh always i mean idk not sure if it’s even a crush i’m too naive to talk about this topic 41. What do you like about yourself: i’m very used to loneliness 42. Piercings: no 43. Blood type: idk 44. Nicknames: have fews but ppl don’t call me w/ the nicknames 45. Relationship status: single (single bell single bell single all the wayyy)

46. Zodiac: scorpio 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show: rarely watch tv shows cos i’m too lazy/ busy to watch but recently there’s a tv show in Hong Kong i quite appreciate where they had a topic on trans and homophbia something (i’ve watched 3 seasons of AHS tho and i wanna finish them all also wanna watch GOT, Stranger things and 13 reasons why too but i’m too lazy meh:/ ) 50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: yes, on my throat (when i was only 7 i guess?) 52. Hair dyed in different color: natural colours i’m lazy asf 53. Sport: football and badminton but i’ve got no one to play with so running likely 55. Vacation: city exploring 56. Pair of trainers: crimson (from like 3 years ago)

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: depends on mood, i can eat a lot as if i have eating disorder 58. Drinking: any liquid is drinkable in the fridge i drink (sometimes water) 59. I’m about to: die make some double layered milk pudding YAssss 62. Want: to die(okay sorry i’m getting annoying)  draw/animate 63. Get married: not even 18 yet 64. Career: an animator/ illustrator!

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. Hugs or kisses: HUGS 66. Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: taller 68. Older or younger: older 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: both :) 71. Sensitive or loud: between sensitive and loud XD 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship? nah too annoying 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: nope 75. Drank hard liquor: no 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no 77. Turned someone down: yes 78. Sex on the first date: have not been in a relationship 79. Broken someone’s heart: yes 80. Had your heart broken: yes, often i guess 81. Been arrested: no 82. Cried when someone died: no 83. Fallen for a friend: no? yes? no.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84: Yourself: sometimes, when i do really want to fight for something 85. Miracles: no there’s no miracles there’s only fate 86. Love at first sight: yes 87. Santa Claus: no lol 88. Kiss on the first date: have not dated

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: Eva 91. Eye color: dark brown 92. Favorite movie: The Maze Runner undoubtedly it’s a film that dragged me into another foreign fandom

got no one to tag XD i guess they’re vv busy rn and if any one of you wanna do it go for it >w

[attickit]

All Numbers Sent...

So for that nonnie... and @aderu-chan (who requested one of the questions but here have all of em... cause the nonnie said so...)

1. If you had to change your name, you would change it to… Changed my birthname already to my current name so I don't really think I'd change it again anytime soon.

2. Something weird about yourself What constitutes weird? Uh... My skills change in turn for each other? Like, if I can write (well enough) I cant draw, and if I can (somewhat) draw, I can't write for shit.

3. Something about yourself that you used to think was weird but is really totally normal Being able to pass an examination without studying.

4. Something you’d change about yourself Hmm... My body. Isn't it always?

5. Something you wish people would stop trying to change about you Okay short rant. I KNOW I AM A FCKING MESS. I DON"T DENY IT BUT LIKE LEAVE ME ALONE AND DON'T TELL ME EVERY SINGLE TIME TO CHANGE THE WAY A FRCKIN RUN MY FCK BUSINESS OF HOW TO EAT MY NOODLES. Stupid rant I know but I eat my noodles how I want to thank you very much.

6. Something you’d change about everyone else Their human impulse to hate. But of course I can't change that.

7. A song you’d sing to a fictional character you’re in love with My love by Eddy Kim

8. A song you’d sing to a fictional character you hate Sorry not sorry but Cypher Part4 of BTS rapline.

9. A song that illustrates how your OTP feels about each other SOME.

10. Your favorite fanfic about your OTP awbgvkhfditebvsiurv. Don't have one cause I don't read now a days.

11. Your favorite feel-good song The Manual by Eddy Kim

12. Your favorite “I’m a badass” song BTS Baepsae.

13. A song that says how you feel on a bad day You give love a bad name by Bon Jovi

14. A song that says how you feel on a good day Best day of my life by American Authors

15. A song that says how you feel on a normal day Stay from FTIdiots. A bit oddly emo yes.

16. An inside joke you have with your friends from school Don't have any cause I don't have friends in school.

17. An inside joke you have with your friends from, like, camp A camp? None. But friend's in general, we giggle like a bunch of children if anyone in the group uses the word 'rectify'.

18. An inside joke you have with yourself death jokes.

19. If you had to dye your hair, it’d be… Either dark crimson or navy.

20. If you had to get a tattoo, it’d be… I want a lot so here we go. I want one of a pair of spread wings just below the nape of my neck. One of a quote over my hips. And one of musical notes on my wrist.

21. If you had to get (another) piercing, it’d be… If I HAD to I'd get one of my ears pierced.

22. You hate it when people… Have no courtesy for others. or talk bad about others behind their backs.

23. You love it when people… Are nice to people. Like genuinely

24. Something that feels like no one understands it but you Time, death and it's implications. (pfft sound like a story)

25. Something that no one seems to understand about you My entire life (more specifically my childhood)

26. A time in your life you’re ashamed of Dark times of self hatred and self pain.

27. A time in your life you’re happy about Having met the Lee's

28. A book that means a lot to you because you loved it as a kid Sherlock Holmes. The entire series Sir Arthur wrote.

29. A movie that means a lot to you because you loved it as a kid Wasn't a movie kind of kid so I didn't have any.

30. A TV show that means a lot to you because you loved it as a kid Says tv show so anime counts. Jigoku Shoujo. (also mythbusters cause I was a major nerd)

31. A book that means a lot to you because of how it changed you This has to be the entirety of Haruki Murakami's works. Especially Norwegian Woods.

32. A movie that means a lot to you because of how it changed you Studio Ghibli's Spirited away.

33. A TV show that means a lot to you because of how it changed you None come to mind.

34. A song that means a lot to you because you loved it as a kid Hey Jude~~ Beatles.

35. A song that means a lot to you because of how it changed you none seem to apply.

36. First pet A fishy I named Steve.

37. Current pet(s) None. (cause Mrs. Lee is allergic to fur)

38. Random field trip story 39. Funny field trip story 40. Annoying field trip story None really... Kai has a few that you can ask if you want some.

41. That one thing you did without thinking that you’ll never live down That one time where I freakin snuggled into Kai to sleep. In the studio. Junsey will never let that go.

42. A song you used to hate but love now I guess Not Today counts.

43. A book you used to hate but love now Lord of the Flies by William Golding.

44. A movie you used to hate but love now None since I really don't watch a movie twice unless I already did love it.

45. A TV show you used to hate but love I stick to my gut when I don't like a show...

46. If you had a magic -kinesis power (cryokinesis, hydrokinesis, pyrokinesis, etc.), it’d be… Wouldn't Telekinesis be OP here. But not including that I'd have Hydrokinesis (i love water plus its super useful)

47. If you had a magic mind power (omniscience, telepathy, telekinesis, etc.), it’d be… Omnisciency is OP. I would but I'd be an empath.

48. You’ve met your past self from a time when shit was rough. What do you tell them? Hold on child. A kind family will find you and an idiot will come pick you up and love you as you are. As a man, even as broken of a man that you are.

49. A problem that you run into daily/Something you feel daily Having to stop Kai from breaking everything.

50. Make up a random OC on the spot and tell me all about them Ok. Here we go. Eyes of soft brown and hair the same chocolate. Long fingers with strings on them trying to remind their owners of so many things. This child is a forgetful one and their name is Road. Constantly having to tie a string for something they can't think of made them great with knots and thus making them a good worker on the ship where they live a life under a pirate's watchful eye.

51. Favorite form of art Music. No arguments

52. Favorite branch of science Forensics science. It counts.

53. If you were an animal, what would you be I am a fox. Others say I would be a cat.

54. If you were a fictional/mythical creature, what would you be Kitsune.

55. The thing about yourself you’re most proud of I am alive. Still living.

[02343]

Today’s Card: The Magician I’ve been using the Hermetic Tarot deck gifted to me last year by my good friend Vicky. I’m going to start interpreting these and reflecting because with something like obsessive thoughts that come along with OCD and the kind of progress I’m trying to make in my own personal bubble, I want to start tracking it so I can see it over time. I want to be good to myself. My interpretation:

From Biddy Tarot, where I’ve been studying the meanings of the cards since they are very easy to comprehend, if there’s a better place, please let me know! I actually lost the little booklet that goes with my cards...

“The Magician Tarot card typically appears in a Tarot reading at a time in your life when you have the creative power and energy to create a new life cycle for yourself. You have the ability to take the power of the Universe and manifest your desires. The Magician Tarot card suggests that a situation has been (or soon will be) presented to you that has all the inherent components to allow the manifestation of your desires. Those desires may be spiritual (fire), physical (earth), emotional (water), or mental (air), and are each aligned with the four elements of the Tarot. You have the ability to make it happen!

With the Magician Tarot card, you are inspired to apply skill and initiative to accomplish all your goals. You have a strong desire to begin something new, to ‘do, act, or go forth’. A ‘can-do’ attitude and strong sense of optimism will dominate a new beginning and thus the decisions that you make will have positive results.

The Magician card sees you creating success in everything that you do. This is a Tarot card about manifesting your goals by utilising the skills, tools and resources that are available to you. The Magician suggests that you will come up with creative ways to solve problems and you will be able to use your existing knowledge and networks to arrive at solutions.

The Magician Tarot card is a good omen when you have a specific wish, when you begin a project involving creativity, or when you need to make a transformation of any kind. This is a great Tarot card for meditation when you need to call all the elements for help and wisdom.

The Magician Tarot card indicates that you can benefit from your creative forces if you can claim your power and act with awareness and concentration. This card is a signal to act consciously and act now provided you understand exactly what you want and are committed to getting it. You need to know what you are doing and why you are doing it. Be clear about your underlying motives and intentions.

The Magician is also a Tarot card of deep concentration on a specific task or activity. You need to be focused on a single goal or purpose at this time and you need to channel all of your energy, tools and resources towards this one goal. Commitment to the task is essential and as such, you will need to eliminate any distractions that will take your focus away from what you want to achieve.

The Magician shows that you are doing a great job at pulling together all of the skills, resources and tools that are available to you in order to bring about an outcome that suits you. You are keeping a very pragmatic head about you and you are trying to remain as objective and ‘can-do’ as possible, even if you are worried on the inside. Keep this up as it will help you to create as much success as possible. Keep thinking about what other skills and resources you can use and keep focused on the task at hand.”

I feel like this card is speaking directly to me. Since the new year, I’ve felt new. I’m trying to take control of my life and my thoughts and my actions. Previously, I was living in a prison of other people’s, while constantly worrying how the present was going to affect my future and in the process literally never living in the moment. Getting rid of Facebook has helped center my mind’s focus back onto me and now I don’t have an easy feed to get lost in for a few hours. I’ve made a conscious decision to not pull out my phone when I have a spare minute and instead study the room around me, the sound of the wind, the sound of people, the sound of existence. I’ve started taking one day at a time. I think that’s the most important thing is that I’ve started literally taking one day at a time. I think about the day as a whole, rather than “I can do this tomorrow” or “Last night I should’ve done this!” etc. I’ve done a small bit of yoga the past two mornings to wake up, and stretch, and get in tune with myself. I’ve stopped making art a task and it’s become a hobby again. I’ve accepted who I am in this moment. Learning French and taking 30 minutes a day to do a few rounds has been helpful at giving me something to work on when I need “busy” work. I haven’t been smoking as much as I used to- it’s now for fun and not really a distraction tool anymore. The Magician seems like a card that knows I’m knee deep into this personal transformation. Like, it may not seem like much on the outside, but it’s extremely internal. It honestly started with me needing to get a hold of my intrusive thoughts and my mind and I feel healthier and more in tune. My goal is to keep this up as long as possible. I know how I’m feeling and it’s good. I also know how bad it feels to be locked in your own brain and although it still happens, it’s all a work in progress and I just need to keep moving forward.  Scott and I have talked with his parents who have offered to let me move in there with them, giving Scott and I some decent space to ourselves. I feel like that is also a move in the right direction. As I’m trying to enjoy the moment more and I’m seeing things without the rose tinted glasses of the internet facade, I’m recognizing what my purpose is. I’m understanding who my friends are and who I’m connected to. I did go through my Instagram and saw which people have unfollowed me over the years and that was a bummer, but more of a relief. Obviously these people are not good, positive beings in my life and it’s better to move on than wallow in wanting their attention.  My need for popularity and success paired with violent, intrusive thoughts from my past have really started holding me tight. I’m glad to be loosening the grip.  I’ve been working on a new series of art - and when I say working, I mean primed a few canvases, set up a single still-life and sketched a piece out - that I feel really good about. I have so much pressure around art. Going to a good school for Illustration made me feel like a failure that I was not getting anywhere with it and I didn’t feel good about making anything, etc. I see people I used to know really going places with their work and I became envious. I’m excited to get rid of my past pressures and just work on a project that is for me. I’ve been reading a few different books about OCD and intrusive obsessions because stopping your compulsions is one thing - you know the action you want to do, you know why you want to do it, and you do not do it - but obsessive thoughts are like, how do you out think your thoughts when they are forceful and acting on their own? They aren’t your thoughts anymore - they’re bugs swarming around your face and landing on your skin and making you more, and more uncomfortable in the place you’re sitting and even when you try and move, they follow and you just succumb to the fire because you cannot swat them for life. My rumination has diminished but my “spikes” have become more consistent. Like, I no longer sit and think about WHY I’m thinking about it. I think figuring out that I have OCD has helped this a lot, I’m no longer consumed with the idea I could be a sociopath or that I want to do x, y and z. I’m not thinking about WHY I’m thinking about it anymore, I’m just thinking about it CONSTANTLY. Like, an image will appear in my mind - a distressing image that is directly connected to my deepest fears- and I’ll try and push it away but it keeps forcing itself to the front of my mind and I can feel my nerves tense and my face distort and a tic occur to try and vanish this thought but it’s there and it keeps coming and this could cycle through for an hour or so - Or over the course of a few hours, maybe a day? I could be completely fine and the moment I become “too there” and realize that my mind is blank or that what I’m focusing on isn’t holding my attention as well, like going through my Facebook newsfeed and reading things I don’t actually care about but I should know what my “friends” are saying and I Should be responding and I Should be involved but I’m not actually because I’m sitting alone in an office somewhere along the water, etc. and it’ll just take over me. It can tell when my brain has a break and it’ll just seep in and infect, then I’m gone. It could happen any time, it does not discriminate.  That being said, it can be triggered. While it waits for my tired, stressed brain to sit down for a minute, if something were to happen - like someone was chopping a cucumber, or someone handed me a piece of paper - my mind will spiral down. Paper, knives, anything with a clean edge. Serrated knives are okay and I actually try and push the idea of serrated knives into my brain when I get all focused on smooth edges. But yeah, my new art project is a form of Exposure and Response Therapy. While I'm not ruminating for hours, I still have small rituals that need to be broken and in doing so, I’m hoping will ease the forcefulness of my “spikes”. I’m taking a break from the things I used to draw and I’m enjoying a new focus and a new intention.  I feel like I just went on and on, and I did, but I guess I just really needed to say it all. I’m looking forward to progress and I say that whenever I’m feeling good and then bad days come around and I’m back at the bottom, but seriously: I’m looking forward to progress because I feel good. I’m not in control yet, but I’m recognizing the decisions I’m making that are contributing to my progress and I’m going to keep working towards it.  Instead of saying “I don’t want to be me” and continuing down the same paths, I’m going to be the person I want to be. Healthy, happy, and okay.

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I spoke to Alice a long time ago and have been very slow in getting this interview up on the site, for which I apologise.

I’d seen Star Bright in the small press section of my local comic shop (without realising that Alice worked there at the time) and was intrigued by it, flicking through, but never quite committing as it wasn’t my normal art style. When I put out a call for interviews and reviews and Alice responded I was pleased as it gave me the reason to engage and test that prejudice. I’m glad I got that chance as I was particularly struck by Star Bright, so struck I awarded it one of the five Paper Underground awards zine love gave out for 2019. I was very moved by the story, it ended with an admittedly quiet emotional outcome, but it hit with quite a heavy weight.

I also want to thank Rob Zwetsloot for their additional responses (and help with editing!!)

That there are only 200 copies, and not all are sold, seems to me a big shame. It’s a strong and accessible work, even for younger children and it seems like a comic that could fly with the right publisher to raise awareness and get some strong distribution.

Star Bright can be found online, on twitter and bought here

Alice Clarke can be found online, on twitter , on instagram and facebook

Rob Zwetsloot can also be found on twitter

ZL – Hi Alice, could you give a brief introduction about yourself first of all?

AC – Hi Iestyn! I’m a Brighton born & raised artist. I’ve been drawing since a young age and graduated from the University of Brighton with honours in Illustration in 2017. I lived in Texas for two years from when I was about twelve, which is where I first came across manga in my middle school library, and ever since then I’ve been hooked on comics.

ZL – I guess the obvious question is, what have you been doing since the strip finished up at the end of October 2018, apart from, running a successful Kickstarter to get it physically published?

AC – It took quite a few months to fulfil the Kickstarter as I was doing almost everything by myself and I was working full time. In April I quit my job to sort and pack all my earthly possessions and on the 1st of May I moved to Japan – so since then it’s been an adjustment period I suppose! Comics-wise I’m working on my first solo comics project, a lot of which has been building up the courage to start drawing. I’m thumbnailing it right now!

ZL – How did it feel to see the Kickstarter do so well, and then receive positive reviews from the likes of Broken Frontier as well?

AC – It took me a long time to work up the confidence to even try to make a comic in the first place and I only feel I was able to do it with the support of my wonderful co-creator and writer, Rob Zwetsloot, as well as friends and peers who cheered me on every step of the way. So, for the Kickstarter to be such a success, I was completely overwhelmed and overjoyed. I am extremely grateful that people such as Stephen at Page 45 and Holly at Broken Frontier took the time to read and review our work and say such nice things about it.

ZL – You got a lot of backers, I was wondering how many copies you had produced over and above those to fill the initial Kickstarter orders and how well they are selling, and where people can buy them if they want a copy?

AC – We had a pretty small print run of 200 copies, around half of which were for the Kickstarter. We have around 30 left over not including copies may be left on shelves in comic book stores – my previous workplace, Dave’s Comics in Brighton, Page 45, all the Travelling Man stores… You can buy them on my Etsy store! Rob is fulfilling orders at the moment since most of our readers are in the UK, it didn’t make sense to send them to myself in Japan.

ZL – I’ve read Star Bright myself and – terrible person I am – as soon as you said it took you two and a half years I went and looked at the first drawings and the last ones to see what improvement there was.  I was struck by two things straight away.

The character designs were strong from the outset, it is easy to tell characters apart and there’s great scope for communicating their emotions, which is very important in this story.

Your figure work and anatomy were very strong by the end, also your line work was much more assured.

Do you see the difference and how do you feel about your progress?

AC – Thank you so much. That’s not terrible at all – I always do the same, I think it’s fascinating to see someone’s growth in this way! For me personally, I feel the change is immense (I actually can’t bear looking at the old pages haha) and I learned so much as I drew each page of the comic – people aren’t kidding when they say if you want to get better drawing, draw a comic. It forced me to draw many things I would never usually draw (backgrounds!!) and think about how to lay out each page and panel in a way that was visually interesting but conveyed more than just an illustration on its own would. I think I also got a bit more confident in my work and was more willing to take risks with angles, poses, etc.

ZL – Is there a point where you thought that the drawing really hit its stride and you felt that you were achieving an outcome you could be proud of, were you proud right from the start?

chapter 3 frontispiece

AC – I don’t think I was particularly proud of my work (meaning the drawings themselves) until maybe end of chapter 3, chapter 4. A long way in, I know, but I have a lot of self-confidence issues with my drawing (thanks art school) and it wasn’t until that far in that I think I found my stride and the way I wanted to draw the comic. I am pretty proud of all the pages at and after that point.

ZL – What was the genesis of this comic, did you know the writer Rob before you started working together?

AC – I think we knew of each other through mutual friends and the UK cosplay community, but it wasn’t until I put it out on Twitter that I was looking for a writer for a comic project that we really started talking. Rob came to me with a rough outline of ideas and character concepts and I just loved it straightaway, the rest is history!

ZL – I find it interesting that you call it out as an LGBT comic, because, to me at least, it’s far more universal, dealing with social anxiety and self-image. I’m particularly interested to see a comic written by someone with different life experiences that handles the feelings and emotions of teenage girls so convincingly and wondered what inspiration and insight Rob drew on to write the story. Did you work together on the storyline and character decisions or was this a more traditional writer and artist collaboration?

AC – As LGBT creators we always want to create work that reflects ourselves and our community in one way or another, and while Star Bright may not feature a story with a hard-hitting LGBT subtext, I think it’s important that people can read and access comics and books that feature gay and trans characters without that necessarily being the focus of the story. Especially as a book aimed at a younger audience who may not have figured out or even thought about those things yet (I know I certainly hadn’t when I was Zoe’s age…) I wanted to manifest LGBT themes in a manner that was more suggestive but also conspicuous. Accepted. Like Robin and Sarah always showing up holding hands, Zoe and Star’s progression from friendship to something more just being accepted. I hope that makes sense.

Robin and Sarah in the background holding hands

Rob is non-binary, so I think those self-image issues and feelings of anxiety and not fitting in would not be too dissimilar to a young teenage girl’s at all. Although it was chiefly Rob who wrote the story, it was quite different when originally brought to  – there are whole characters we decided together not to use in the final version. I would say we were co-creators more than anything else when it came to the script, and as someone who was once exactly in Zoe’s shoes, a young teen girl struggling at school with loneliness and friendship troubles, I did my best to help nuance Rob’s wonderful script in a way that echoed my experiences. In that way I think we are a little bit outside the traditional writer-artist style of collaboration. Rob also gave me almost complete freedom with page layouts and pacing, only really giving me stage direction and visual pointers when they had a strong idea for how a certain page or scene needed to be drawn. I think our collaborative method was really symbiotic and we both helped each other constantly to build on our strengths and grow our skills.

ZL – This sounds like an interesting point and I’d like to bring Rob in on this and get their point of view, how did you find the experience of writing about teenage girls?

RZ – First and foremost, I wrote these characters as just people, with wants and desires, different history and life experiences. I think that’s important with storytelling, otherwise you’re concentrating on just one part of them (and it reeeaaaalllllly shows when you do). A lot of Zoe’s character was based on me growing up and some of the problems I faced. It was sort of wish fulfilment for how I’d liked to have been able to face my issues while I was still a teenager. It’s been nice to learn that a lot of other people had these sorts of experiences, so I wasn’t quite as lonely as I thought – although I guess the irony there is, we were all too lonely to reach out to each other at the time. Having said that, while writing the story I was worried that I might end up not writing the girls ‘correctly’ – despite the agnostic approach to creating the characters, I don’t have experience as a teenage girl. I think at one point I was even asking friends “did you ever just talk in Simpsons quotes as a kid?”.

However, I said to Alice at the start that she should correct me if I did something wrong. It really helped with the way the scripts were written. I’d write the chapter, do my edit passes, tweak it until I was happy with it (or as happy as I could get), and then Alice and I would read through it together and punch it up, almost like a TV show writers’ room. We’d add bits and change stuff for story reasons, consistency, for better visual layout in the comic, etc. It definitely would not have been as good as it is without her input. I think Zoe ended up an amalgam of Alice and myself in the end, and really the only mistake I made with them was initially writing them a bit too mature. We added in more of the uncertainty and confusion of being fourteen and left it up to the reader.

  ZL – What impressed me most with the art on this was how you used it so efficiently to highlight emotional states, it’s interesting to see someone approach a Japanese style comic that develops the use of body language and silent connections more than the hyper normal, speed line mania one usually sees being aped. The approach lifts what is really a small, introverted narrative and lends it a heavy sense of emotion, rather than playing up an opportunity for melodrama. I’m wondering if there was a conscious decision to play the story that way, or whether it was something that came from the characters as they emerged, or whether it was something that the two of you brought from your own influences?

powerful loneliness

AC – Thank you very much, I’m really pleased you picked up on some of my visual choices. I am not really sure, I think for my part I just tried to draw and convey the story and the emotions in a manner that felt natural to me. Some of my most favourite storytelling techniques in comics are found predominantly in manga, so a lot of the ways I decided to draw certain scenes involving drama and emotion are probably very influenced by Japanese comics. I find the quietness and subtlety of melodrama in manga oftentimes much more emotive and appealing than some of what I’ve seen in western comics, and I think it’s closer to reality so it works better for stories like Star Bright where the narrative is close to home and relatable, (well, except for the whole alien thing haha).

ZL – I don’t know whether you were aiming for this, but it’s definitely something that I picked up, whilst this is clearly a comic aimed at teenagers, a YA style, it’s also something that I, as an adult could read and identify with. The style is engaging and endearing and open and it feels like I’m getting an insight into the lives of the girls and girls that age in general. What was the aim of creating this story, who were you hoping to talk to and what was it you felt you had to say to them?

AC – Thank you so much. I really like books that have a wide appeal, that have something for everyone. Many of my favourite series fans’ ages range hugely so I guess maybe it’s a natural way for me to create work (Cardcaptor Sakura, Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, Lord of the Rings…) For me, not having a voice when amongst my peers and the smothering feeling of loneliness and being misunderstood as a teenager was something I had rarely, perhaps never seen represented in books and comics I’d read, so I really wanted to voice it myself with this comic. With Star Bright, I was hoping to talk to that lonely girl who spends her school breaktimes at the library reading by herself, who begs her mum for sick notes, so she doesn’t have to go on school trips, the girl who’s always last to be picked in P.E., who never has a pair for group work. I’m sure there are lots and lots of Zoes out there in the world, and I wanted this book to find them somehow and let them know they’re not alone, and if they didn’t find them yet, there’s definitely a Star waiting for them.

ZL – It’s also surprising how, if you gave it as an elevator pitch, something seemingly sweet and so low stakes in terms of character arc, manages to be so engaging and supple in its storytelling. I genuinely came away feeling happy and like something good had happened in my day. Part of that was how well the art managed to communicate the characters feelings, both using body language, character interaction and then more subtle artistic effects, for example, when Star first goes and stays with Zoe’s friends. How much thought and how many tries did it takes to nail that approach? Did that solution just come naturally to you or did you think it through and try different approaches?

Double pages – illustrating what happened

and how it feels

AC – Wow, thank you. That means a lot to me! We spent a lot of time reworking the last chapter and a half or so, trying to figure out the emotional beats and get the height of the drama just right for the bus scene with Zoe and Star. Like you say, it’s a low-stakes story and I was always worried that it wouldn’t be enough to engage some readers. It’s hard to know how many tries and rereads it took to get the script right, since I was always working with Rob right up until I had even finished drawing the page to tweak lines of dialogue, etc. I can say however that there are almost no pages I drew more than once or that changed dramatically from their original thumbnail sketch.

ZL – Final question, I promise!

What are your plans for the future, would you like to do more comics and see them published, or stick to webcomics, or are you out of the comics games for a while?

AC – I would love to have my comics published someday, it’d be a dream to be published by somebody like First Second. But small steps, for now I’d like to try and successfully complete something solo and really indulge in my interests.

ZL – …and you Rob?

RZ – At the moment I’m (very slowly) working on a new story concept that may end up as a book. As for Star Bright, it’s over for now but we may always return to it in the future.

ZL – Thanx for all your time

  — Paper Underground Award announcement —

  all art copyright and trademark it’s respective owners.

content copyright iestyn pettigrew 2020

  the long list interview – Alice Clarke and Rob Zwesloot I spoke to Alice a long time ago and have been very slow in getting this interview up on the site, for which I apologise.

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Back Story

Kadir Nelson, Class of 1992

Kadir Nelson uses fine art to tell stories. From New Yorker covers to Drake and Michael Jackson cover art, from stamps to best-selling children’s books, the LA-based painter has already produced some of the most iconic images of our time. But to jump straight to those highlights is to overlook a lifetime of disciplined art-making and self-improvement. Nelson’s talent was prodigious from his childhood in Atlantic City and thrived on encouragement from a few heroic relatives. This belief in his artistry sustained him through a moment of doubt and ill-fated architecture studies. It made him an all-star art student at Pratt and got him working on Steven Spielberg’s Amistad. He has since illustrated and written over 30 children’s books, most recently the best-selling “Blue Sky, White Stars” (recently proclaimed the 2nd best YA picture book of 2017 by Time Magazine). His New Yorker covers, including “Eustace Negro,” are some of the most compelling in recent memory. The covers he painted for Drake’s “Nothing Was the Same” and Michael Jackson’s posthumous “Michael” are perfectly unforgettable. Last week, Nelson sat down with us in his vast Los Angeles studio to discuss early inspirations, drawing historical figures, illustrating for the New Yorker, the surrealness of working with Drake and Jackson, and how his process has evolved along the way.

We like to start at the beginning: when did you start making art? As soon as I became conscious, you know. My mother says I was about three-years-old when I started. I got my artistic genes from her and my father, who could both draw but didn’t choose it as a career path. Then there was my uncle Mike, who’s a phenomenal artist and an art teacher. He was crucial to my becoming an artist. One day, he was babysitting me and my siblings, and he could tell how focused I was, how intently I was holding the pencil. He told my mom to keep an eye on me because I might be an artist. And so, when I was 11, I went to stay with him in Maryland for a summer, and I became his apprentice. He gave me a strong foundation. He taught me to use different materials; he taught me lighting, shading, color theory, perspective. And he also imparted upon me that it was very important that I take care of my gift, not to do anything dangerous or dumb that would endanger me. This made me very serious about being an artist. From that moment on, I really thought of myself that way. At the end of summer, he gave me a big box of art supplies. That was inspiration enough. I suddenly had everything I needed. I just wanted to fill everything up.  I visited him for another summer when I was 16. He had just rediscovered oil-painting for himself and wanted to teach me how to do it. I was drawing a lot by then, so he didn’t have to look over my shoulder when I was working. But if I had any questions, like, how do I paint smoke, he’d give me a lesson. We were two working artists. I would paint in his dining room because his studio was too packed. I am very much indebted to him for taking all that time. I’ve been working with oil ever since.

What kind of motifs did you paint as a teenager? I painted a lot of basketball scenes. Paintings based on Egyptology. That was a new thing I was learning about. I started painting Pharaohs, myself as a pharaoh. Musicians. Whatever it is that I really liked.

When did you start drawing historical figures? Around that same time. There’s a painting called “My Heroes.” Nelson Mandela had just been released from prison. My mother took me to Los Angeles to see him speak at the coliseum, when I was 15 years old. The crowd was so excited, so jubilant. When he came out, they kept cheering for 10 minutes. It made a huge impression on me. I started painting images of people that inspired me — Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, Nelson Mandela. I didn’t necessarily like history in school, because it seemed to be all about memorization. It took me a while to realize that history is a string of stories, and I love stories. I realized then that I could tell them through my work. That was my uncle’s influence, too. He said if my work didn’t mean anything to me, it wouldn’t mean anything to anyone else. I started looking at artwork by Ernie Barnes. He’s an artist whose painting was on the opening credits for Good Times in the 70s. Very expressive artwork, elongated figures. The characters in his work all emoted. They had a special energy. I started copying what he was doing, elongating my figures, learning how to visually communicate emotion, energy, movement. Ernie’s paintings were very fluid. That’s how I learned to make my work emote, how to make my subjects fluid. I learned to move energy through lines, light and colors.

I have noticed that you draw historical figures in a different way than I’ve seen elsewhere. The American history industry likes to turn revolutionaries into saints, draining them of their radical potential. Your paintings restore that revolutionary tension. When I see your Martin Luther King or Nelson Mandela or Abraham Lincoln, they’re strong, they’re determined, and they’re human. Is that an intentional part of your process? I want my subjects to breathe. I want to show their inner strength. I want them to have integrity. These are things that I strive for myself. Before you learn to talk, you learn to communicate through body language, so it can have this incredible impact. I always want to depict my subjects in their best light. Sometimes it works as a counterpoint. Like my painting of the LA riots: that’s a tense, ugly time, but the counterpoint in my paintings is that there’s a very ugly thing happening in a very beautiful place. That gives it a special dynamic. I strive for that.

Interestingly, at Pratt, you first studied architecture. How did it come to that? I guess that would be the only real break I took [from art]. I had always received compliments for my artwork, but I had also heard a lot about starving artists. Several of the artists I met were struggling. One artist I met discouraged me from going to art school, because he said professors would try to make me a version of themselves. They wouldn’t let me have my own style. And I had a very strong style at that point. Between those two arguments, I decided to become an architect. That would be a real job, I thought. But a semester in, I just didn’t feel good about it. I didn’t want to create buildings! I loved drawing and painting! One of my friends on the basketball team brought in his art after practice. It was incredible work, and very much his own style. I asked him if they let him do that kind of work for his assignments. And he said “yes, they don’t try to change you. They’re trying to help you do what you do better.” That was it. The next day I changed my major. I almost lost my scholarship in the process. If I’d known that, I might not have switched. I never looked back.

Were you doing artwork on the side during that architecture spell? I wasn’t painting — except when I went home on vacation, I made two paintings — but I was always sketching on the side.

I guess you couldn’t repress the urge entirely. Well, I could have. I know a lot of artists who were discouraged, or hit a roadblock, and went and did something else. And I can see in their eyes now that they’re really regretting that choice. Because when you go the other way, you lose focus, or your focus changes. I really wanted to draw and paint. Even if it meant that I had to starve, I would have done it. Fortunately, I didn’t have to starve.

Yeah, you started getting jobs while you were still in school. I did commissions, sold a couple paintings, did some t-shirts for Nike. I got an agent. It didn’t really work out with him, but he did get some of my paintings on The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and The Jamie Foxx Show. My paintings also showed up in a couple of films. In Friday, there’s a painting of a basketball player hanging over Ice Cube’s bed. It’s so dark, though, and all you could see was his sneakers. That was very exciting for me.

And then when you graduated, you got right to work on Spielberg’s Amistad. That’s right. Two weeks after graduating, I got a call from DreamWorks, which was brand new back then. I did what’s called visual development for the film — concept artwork. Debbie Allen had been trying to make the film since the ‘70s. And then she saw Schindler’s List and decided she had found the right director. She sold Steven [Spielberg] on the idea, but he was not sure he wanted to direct it, as it was very sensitive subject matter. She and production designer Rick Carter had the idea to hire artists to basically paint the whole film — not storyboards, but basically telling the story scene by scene — so Steven could look at it, and see how to potentially direct it. What we did was basically feed his vision for the film. It was a high-pressure situation. Our contract went two weeks at a time. Every two weeks, they would hire you again if you were doing well. I did all I could to stay on, producing what I thought was my best work. I studied Steven’s films to see how he composed scenes. I pretty much mimicked his visual style, so that it would be very familiar to him. I ended up seeing some of my paintings make it all the way into the final cut. It was a dream. I was a 22-year-old kid.

What did that early success mean to you? It felt like the project was tailor-made for me. It was great for my confidence: I’d worked on a Steven Spielberg film right out of college. It also turned out to be good for my humility because, after I was done, my phone didn’t ring for six months. I hadn’t made it, by any means. I still had a lot of work to do.

You started drawing and then writing children’s books. How did you adapt your paintings to this form? It came naturally to me, because I always told stories with my work. That’s what I was trained to do. I studied illustration for four years. I always tried to straddle the line between illustration and fine art. Early in my career, I worked with other authors. I illustrated children’s books for a few celebrities [like Will and Jada Pinkett Smith and Spike Lee] even if I didn’t really meet them until later. That certainly helped me get visibility. I think it was satisfying until I realized that I could do it myself. If someone else is going to do the writing, the manuscript has to be really outstanding and something I connect with. Such as Martin Luther King Jr. [the subject and hero of Nelson’s book, “I have a Dream”]. He’s a great writer.

You’ve had an extraordinarily successful career illustrating and writing children’s books. Do you write them with your kids in mind or what’s your process? I didn’t start writing until they were much older. And the books I illustrated, they weren’t really into. [Laughs.] My strategy has always been to approach a narrative as though it were a silent film, so you can tell the story without having to read the words. That’s always in the back of my mind — maybe at the forefront of my mind — when I’m creating artwork for books. The marriage between the words and the pictures creates something new but the artwork has to be able to stand on its own. I want people to spiritually connect with my work. I want people to say, ‘I love how this painting makes me feel.’

I think that’s one of the qualities that make your images so iconic. It’s that resonance. This comes across particularly in your New Yorker covers. The best known of them is probably “Eustace Negro.” What’s the story behind that image? Francoise Mouly [the New Yorker’s Art Director] invited me to submit an idea for the 90th anniversary issue. I initially wanted to paint an African-American aristocrat from the 1800s in a similar pose as Eustace Tilley. Francoise suggested making him more contemporary. A light went off. I thought it would be cool if he’d be using his smart phone instead of a spectacle. I couldn’t believe this hadn’t been done yet. I looked around but couldn’t find anything. It all came together for that cover. I love the palette. It’s both very funny and very serious. It’s a conversation piece.

Your cover for Drake’s “Nothing was the Same” is another unforgettable image. How did you think of it? There was a lot of back and forth with him. He didn’t give me any direction, didn’t tell me what he wanted me to paint. He wanted me to make it my own. I flew out to Canada to meet him and a lot of people around him. We flew to different places [in his private plane]. I think he wanted me to see what his life was like. It was all very surreal, constantly being in the middle of all these fans. We went to Target to buy a bunch of CDs, and people were like, “he’s here!” and they’re all running after him. We dashed towards the big cars, and I got locked out, trying to get past all these fans reaching for his autograph. “Sorry about that,” he said. I travelled with them for three days. He played some of the music from his new album for me. I came up with the idea after that. I wanted it to be iconic, classic, something that would live forever, which was a really tall order. So, I was doing a lot of sketching. We kind of went back and forth with ideas. He sent me a bunch of baby pictures. And then he got his haircut, and sent me a picture of himself from the side. I sent him a bunch of sketches and among them were those two images, one of him after the haircut and one of him as a kid with an afro. “What if they’re staring at each other?” he suggested. And that was it.

That’s such a surreal way of making art. Speaking of surreal, your Michael Jackson cover is easily one of the best covers I’ve seen, but also has a fan’s love in it. How was it working for him? A friend that manages a recording studio in Hollywood called me, and said, “Michael Jackson is recording here and he’s going to be calling you a few minutes. Don’t go anywhere.” Of course, I didn’t go anywhere. He called 15 minutes later. He told me that he really liked the paintings of mine that were hanging in that studio, two paintings of Marvin Gaye. Long after, I found out that he had been trying to reach me for a while. Michael would often go to that studio and stare at that painting. They had tried to call me, and I wasn’t home. Michael Jackson doesn’t leave messages on random people’s phones. Anyway, he was really nice. He said how much he loved the painting. Then he got really quiet and said, “well, I want one of my life story — but I want it to be bigger.” I asked him what to read. He suggested Moonwalker and gave me his phone number. I had Michael Jackson’s phone number! Shortly after, he got busy with a court case, so I had to put it on the very far back burner. Then, in 2009, I got word that he had passed away. I called the guy who owned the studio, who ended up being a co-executor of his estate. And he said, “now’s the time to do the painting Michael wanted you to do.” I pushed everything back six months and focused on that painting. I sketched out all the major beats I wanted to hit, all these events in his life divided into several sections. There are 250 portraits in there, and 50 of Michael, because he was 50 when he passed away. I worked on that over the course of a year. Six months of continuous painting — six months of tinkering with it. Unfortunately, there was a lot of art direction at the end, and there was a lot of legal stuff to wade through. A lot of clearances had to happen. Logos. Photos. And some things couldn’t be cleared, so I had to paint over some things, digitally remove people. It was a lot of work. I was working on it until 2 weeks before the release.

You and your work have come such a long way since then. Your book Blue Sky, White Stars was just voted Time Magazine’s 2nd best adult YA picture book of the year. How has your process evolved over the years? I’ve found that the most important thing is to be relaxed. If my nerves are a bit shaky, it’s not a good idea to start working on something serious. I pretty much know how to get there now. I’ll just sit in front of the canvas for a little while until I’m calm enough to start. As for my process, I worked on a drafting table for a long time, hunched over. That was ergonomically problematic. I needed to save my neck. Now, I stand. [Laughs] *Reposted online article from FOLD Moleskine… my journey by The Editors: Kadir Nelson, Epic Illustrator “Telling iconic stories through fine art.”

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Raised in the Finger Lakes region of Upstate New York, but forever longing for the white sands of New Mexico, Pamela has always loved mysteries and the macabre. Combining the two in her own writing, along with her love for historical research and genealogy, came naturally. Hours spent watching ‘Monster Movie Matinee’, ‘Twilight Zone’, a myriad of Hammer Films, and devouring books by Stephen King, Tanith Lee, and Anne Rice probably helped, too.

Outside of her work as a novelist, Pamela has written numerous historic articles for the Tioga County Courier, an Owego, NY newspaper. She has done genealogy research for family and friends and was a Civil War reenactor for close to ten years. In 2014 Pamela joined the ranks of writers for the online magazine, The Good Men Project. She also enjoys scrapbooking, bad B-Movies, road trips with her husband, and feeding the crows that frequent their back yard.

  Please help me welcome Pamela Morris to Roadie Notes…………

1. How old were you when you first wrote your first story? I was all of nine when I wrote and illustrated “Bill, The Worm Who Ran Away”. It’s an adventure about a runaway worm who was named after my father. This was soon followed by my first ghostly thriller/mystery “The Strange Well”. Both are 3rd Grade literary masterpieces, I assure you. Thanks to my dad, I still have both of the originals of the above titles in my paper files.

2. How many books have you written? I have written eleven novels, ten of which have been published. One is currently out-of-print as it was never quite what I wanted it to be and it needs a lot of revisions. My first published novel was released in 2006 and started a four-year journey down the road of writing erotica. Once I got that out of my system, I began seriously writing what I love most; mysteries, thrillers and horror. “Secrets of The Scarecrow Moon”, a paranormal murder-mystery, came out in 2013. My most recent title, “The Witch’s Backbone 1 – The Curse”, came out in September of this year and we’re hoping to release the psychological horror “Dark Hollow Road” next spring.

3. Anything you won’t write about? Bestiality, cryptid erotica, and dinosaur porn are at the top of the list. I have no interest in walking down the pure erotica-of-any-kind path again, either. I won’t write about anything that portrays any form of abuse in a positive light. “Dark Hollow Road” does contain both sexual and child abuse, but by no means is it done in a way that glorifies the subject, just the opposite.

4. Tell me about you. Age (if you don’t mind answering), married, kids, do you have another job etc… I’ll be 52 in December and recently (in 2016) remarried. My first husband and I have two children. My son just turned 27 and my daughter is 24. No grandkids as of yet. I’ve worked for the Cornell University Library system for 30 years.

5. What’s your favorite book you have written? This is tough. It’s like asking me which child is my favorite. I love them all for different reasons. I’m very fond of my Barnesville Chronicle books because they are set in the fictionalized region I grew up in. It almost feels like I’m cheating with those because it’s like going back home again and hanging out with old friends. “Dark Hollow Road” is probably the most complex and darkest thing I’ve written. It’s very psychologically dark and disturbing. While working on certain scenes I kept wondering where in my psyche it was all coming from. In that sense, it’s my favorite.

6. Who or what inspired you to write? I’ve loved to write since I learned how, so I don’t think anyone was my initial inspiration. It’s as much a part of who I am as my hazel eyes and brown hair. However, my parents have always been very encouraging of my writing. As I mentioned earlier, my dad is the one who saved those first two hand-written stories I wrote over 40 years ago. My mom’s a big reader and belonged to a book club. Books have always been part of my life. Getting books for Christmas and my birthday was, and still is, one of my favorite things. As far as writers whom I admire and who have influenced me, I’d have to say the stories of Rod Serling have had a strong impact on what I enjoy writing. As a teenager, I discovered the work of Tanith Lee, a British author that a lot of people have never even heard of. She has a very unique style that I very much enjoy. Shirley Jackson, Clive Barker, Wilkie Collins, Poe, Richard Matheson, Stephen King, Ray Bradbury, and Anne Rice have all played roles in what I write and how I write, too.

Inspiration for a story can come from just about anywhere. My ghost story, “No Rest For The Wicked” (available through HellBound Books Publishing) arose from a friend and I discussing how he wanted to write a ghost story as if it were being told by the actual ghosts. He couldn’t quite get the idea off the ground so I asked if he’d mind if I gave it a go. He didn’t. I added several ‘dead’ characters from my erotica-writing days to the mix and “No Rest For The Wicked” was born.

“Dark Hollow Road” came about during a trip through Pennsylvania when we passed a side road actually called “Dark Hollow Road”. I saw that and was like, “If that’s not the name of a scary novel, I don’t know what is.” At the time, I had no idea what it would be about, but I had a title! The Barnesville Chronicle titles have a lot to do with my love of local history and historic research. Some of what is mentioned in those books is based on real event that took place (or are rumored to have taken place) in the rural area I grew up on.

7. What do you like to do for fun? Other than writing, you mean? I read a lot. That’s rather part of being a writer, I think, the love of reading. A warm summer day spent with my husband out on the Harley is always amazing. Apart from writing, I think being on the motorcycle with him is my second best form of mental therapy. Whatever stress I’m having, pretty much evaporates during the ride. I dabble a bit with various forms of art; drawing, painting, photography, making book trailers, clay sculptures, and a touch of scrapbooking. And I love to travel to places I’ve never been before.

8. Any traditions you do when you finish a book? No, not really. I sit back and bask in the afterglow for a while, but that’s about it.

9. Where do you write? Quiet or music? The majority of my writing takes place in the living room on the desktop, but I’ve also enjoyed getting work done outside on the back deck with the laptop. Nothing really beats that, to be honest. I’d do it more often if weather and time allowed. For some reason that big mug of hot coffee and those cheerful chirping birds brings out the horror in me. I prefer to write in solitude and when I do play music, it’s the Blues. Anything else I find very distracting. I’m very much a morning writer, too.

10. Anything you would change about your writing? I’m always looking to improve so I guess I’d say fewer typos! That, and to hone my skills to the point that my readers aren’t just reading a book. I want them to feel involved in the atmosphere and setting and invested in what’s happening to the characters.

11. What is your dream? Famous writer? I dream of the day when I can make a living as a fiction writer, but I’m a realist and understand that’s incredibly hard to do. I’d love to have multiple homes, to be able to keep the one I have now, fix it all up properly, and get a second one either in New Mexico or Texas – something that’s very Southwestern. A log cabin in the woods would be nice, too. Mostly, I just want to be able to share my stories with people and hope that they enjoy what I’ve spent so much time and love creating.

12. Where do you live? I live in the Finger Lakes Region of Central New York State. Our house was built in 1886 and I’ve lived here since 1995. It’s a great old house and came with its resident ghost, Herman. He’s an older gentleman who keeps quiet for the most part, but every now and then he’ll make just enough noise so we know he’s still around.

13. Pets? The wild crows who visit and demand peanuts probably don’t count, do they? No, no pets at the time. I’d love to have a cat. My husband would love to have a dog, but it’s also nice not to have the responsibility of having either. We are free to come and go as we please without having to worry about their care while away.

14. What’s your favorite thing about writing? The part about writing that always amazes me is when the characters take over. That’s the magic right there. Although I will have a general idea of where I want the story to go, I don’t outline. I allow each scene to unfold logically from what has come before, while attempting to steer it along. However, there are times when the characters say phooey to what I have in mind and go off on their own little tangent. I let them. I figure they know more about what’s happened or happening than I do and I’m just along for the ride. To a non-writer, that may not make any sense. It’s fiction, how can that happen? Well, it does, a lot. It’s a thrill ride for me to see what’s next and then try to pull in those reins to maneuver that ending I was shooting for. Sometimes that sort of things throws a wrench into what I had in mind, in which case I make the adjustments and follow where the characters seem to want me to go instead.

15. What is coming next for you? As I mentioned, “Dark Hollow Road” is scheduled for a spring 2018 release. I’m really looking forward to getting this one out to people because of its depth and darkness. Half of it is told in 1st Person. That has a lot to do with why it’s so different from my previous novels. You really get into the head of that particular character and that’s not always a place the reader will want to be at all. My current WIP is “The Witch’s Backbone 2 – The Murder”. It picks up exactly where TWB 1 – The Curse ends. I’m about 1/3 of the way through writing the first draft.

Aside from the novels, I was asked to write a foreword for a friend of mine who’s working on his first short story collection. I was both surprised and honored he asked. And, I’ve accepted a gig writing book and movie reviews for The Final Guys website. This will force me (yeah – twist my arms, right?) to watch more horror movies if nothing else.

I have a couple of poems in HellBound Books most recently released anthology “Beautiful Tragedies.” I’ve not been able to get a copy of it myself just yet, but plan to do so as soon as I can. I hear they are doing a second volume for this and although I was asked if I’d be interested in submitting something for that, poetry of the type they are looking for, and that I’m willing to share, isn’t something I produce a lot of.

You can connect with Pamela Morris here: You can find me lurking in a few places in Cyberspace. My main website is http://pamelamorrisbooks.com where you’ll find info on all my books, some free short stories, and my blog where I write book and movie reviews, a monthly author interview, and share a little something called “The Horrors That Grew Me” where I talk about the things and people who have influenced me as a lover and writer of the Horror genre. I post and share a lot over on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/PamelaMorrisBooks/ and you can find me on Twitter as @pamelamorris65. I have an author page on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Pamela-Morris/e/B00BCJTNP6/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0 and one over at HellBound Books where you’ll find not just my titles, but some other awesome authors. http://www.hellboundbookspublishing.com And finally, as mentioned, you’ll be able to read more of my movie and book reviews over at The Final Guys http://finalguys.com/ soon. As of this writing, it’s still a work-in-progress.

  Some of Pamela Morris’s books: 

Getting personal with Pamela Morris Raised in the Finger Lakes region of Upstate New York, but forever longing for the white sands of New Mexico, Pamela has always loved mysteries and the macabre.