#also god he's just... so fucking COOL. and not just in like a cool savvy protag kinda way

[milkbreadtoast]

my s class hunters does a really good job at gradually raising the stakes without feeling like a pointless power creep and keeping me extremely invested and i keep saying this but I really do think it's bc it's a story grounded in love at every turn... the bond between the han brothers especially is extremely compelling and beautiful and makes me feel like a knife is being stabbed into my heart and twisted all around... i love them so so much 😞💔❤️‍🩹❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

[cordeliawhohung]

You created a monster in me with underboss!Simon and now you must take responsibility.

Please feed my new addiction with relationship headcanons 😩😩😩. I love him and Shy!reader.

i've created so many monsters y'all gotta stop biting at my ankles or at least start paying rent or smth <3 also i'm still trying to work out a lot of the dynamics of the relationship between them so this is still a little bare boned but i hope you enjoy!

mafia!141 masterlist <3

warnings: mostly fluff :3 simon is a bit of a prick lol, fem!reader,

just in case anyone missed it, this is how underboss!Simon and shy!Reader meet <3

it takes a brutally long time for the two of you to start dating. a brutally long time.

and it isn't for lack of trying on Simon's end. he manages to get your number somehow (i hear Soap is very tech savvy...) and asks you out the week after the dinner at John's house, only for you to decline.

which is fine. he can take rejection. but this is... different. you're too kind when you say no. you're not saying it because you think you're too good for him, you're saying it because of something else, and Simon can tell the difference but can't exactly tell what it is.

it drives him nuts for a long time. you were supposed to be just another number in his phone for a booty call. he's used to getting pretty much anything he wants, after all, but even then it shouldn't have bugged him as much as it did. maybe it was because he liked the way you looked at him. not with disgust. not with some lustful intention. you were... soft. kind, even.

as for you? you think it's crazy how this 6'4", ripped, and kind guy showed interest in you. you, someone too anxious for her own good, someone who said no because it was less scary than committing to something. and you hate yourself for rejecting him.

so in an effort to stay close to him, you text him pretty often. you send him pictures of things you see or run into during your day. something funny at work, a cool rock you found in someone's garden, the spider that decided to make its home in your shower. and sweetheart, you have no idea what you're doing to the poor man ):

this goes on for a long while. just simon being a stupid man, not wanting to push your boundaries after you already rejected him, and you being too anxious to fix things and ask him yourself.

eventually, by some miracle (that i might write more about later because like i said BARE BONES) the two of you get together. and it's... interesting. simon isn't really used to dating. like properly. he's used to buttering a girl up, going back to her place for a quick fuck, and then only seeing her whenever either of them are too bored and horny to function. but with you it's nothing like that at all. there's no sex on the first date, not even a damn kiss, and he finds himself craving you more than ever because of it. wanting to be around you all the time, wanting to hear about your day.

man is fucking obsessed.

he treats you like a princess. he only ever really spent his money on stupid shit but now he can spend it on you! you never ask for anything, but god forbid if you express that anything, be it clothes or otherwise, looks cute because he will buy it for you, no matter how awkward you are at receiving gifts.

also! because he's so big and somewhat brutish, no one fucks with you when you're in public together. annoying kiosk clerks trying to aggressively sell you something? one look from him and they're gone. someone messed up your order but you're too anxious to ask them to fix it? he's advocating for you.

because of him, you find yourself growing less afraid and anxious of things. he teaches you how to be brave, and you teach him how to be soft. there's nothing in the world that he wouldn't do for you <3

oh also btw he's in the mafia. he might have forgotten to mention that... hope that doesn't freak you out or anything. don't worry about the blood on his shirt or the bruises on his face or the cuts on his arms or... oh god you look like you're going to cry. it's nothing, sweetheart! promise! stop trying to take him to the hospital!

also, some sorta unrelated comments: i think shy!reader is def a hostess at a restaurant. i feel like simon would hang out at the restaurant too just to be around you. he'd also slip you a tip, even though you tell him you make hourly and don't depend on tips.

"consider it my way of saying thanks for sitting us at the table with the best view."

the view is you, btw.

AHHH i'm sorry this was such a mess? i have so many jumbled thoughts but i'm glad i was able to get some of them out and i hope they were somewhat enjoyable al;kdjf i'll be working on a short drabble/oneshot for him over the weekend, so i'm hoping that'll make up for this <3

[mamawasatesttube]

hi im lost in the kon & clark + kon & the kents sauce today.

thinkin about how clark takes him to live with ma and pa shortly after "our worlds at war" - after kon has lost guardian, and now mickey and dubbilex and everyone he knew at cadmus has vanished and left him on his own. after he's been used and discarded by knockout, tana, and rex leech. he's not even two years old and there is a whole list of adults who he relied on and who he's already lost because, as he believes, of his own inability to be what they needed him to be. he wasn't savvy enough to realize rex was using him for money, he wasn't heroic enough to save knockout from herself, he wasn't mature enough for tana to love him, he wasn't good enough of a superhero to prevent guardian from being killed in the leadup to everything with apokolips...

anyway, what i'm getting at is that he's used to nearly all of his relationships with adults having a time limit, and to being left alone to fend for himself when that time limit runs out. so, uh, the first time he has any sort of argument with clark, or clark expresses any frustration with him...

which, imo, is extremely possible because, like. kon's an impulsive kid who doesn't always listen to others or ask for help when he needs it (partly because he's so used to fending for himself!) and clark definitely has a protective streak, and i think it'd frustrate clark that kon didn't even tell him he had nowhere to go after cadmus went underground. like he gets that kon's got issues but also Please For The Love Of God. People Who Love You Want To Help You But You Have To Tell Them You Need Help. he wants to help and protect kon but kon doesn't even realize the things he's gone through are fucked up and that he shouldn't have had to deal with them, let alone on his own. suggesting that he should lean on others would make him bristle. and he definitely doesn't want to be a bother or a burden on superman.

so it's a point of contention but like, the love is there. it's a point of contention BECAUSE the love is there.

anyway i'm just thinking of the first time clark tries to talk to kon about opening up and asking for help and telling him or ma or pa or lois when something is up, and kon getting mad at him because he can handle himself and he's not incompetent, and clark being like that's not what i'm trying to say at all, i'm plenty competent and i lean on people when i need to and so should you. but kon's a traumatized and headstrong teenager who doesn't want to hear it, even (especially) from his idol, and clark gets a little frustrated, and then kon ??? stops arguing and just gets really disproportionately upset out of the blue??? and shuts down and then runs off??? and clark doesn't understand what happened exactly but clearly SOMETHING is wrong. figures he'll give kon some space and talk to him again in the evening when he's had a chance to cool off.

instead not even an hour later martha kent hollers for clark to get over to kansas and explain his side of things because she KNOWS the boy she and jonathan raised would Never have told kon he's sick of cleaning up his messes and wants him out of his parents' house and might even be planning to take his name back from him. (clark, hearing this: HE THINKS I WHAT???????? D: D: D:)

(ma sent pa to check on kon when he didn't come down for dinner and pa found him sniffling and stuffing clothes into a suitcase. he said clark hadn't told him to get out yet but it was only a matter of time. they are gonna have a nice long family heart-to-heart and at the end of it pa is going to have to talk ma down from hunting down rex leech with a shotgun.)

anyway kon gets a Really good family group hug that he TOTALLY doesn't cry about (he's cool as a cucumber about it!! really!!) and gets whacked across the head with a boatload of affirmations and reassurances that even if any of them ever argue, his place here and his name and status as part of the family are never going to be in question. (ma wants the shotgun again when he seems genuinely surprised by this.) it might even be the origin of them coming up with "conner kent". a second name just for him, as part of clark's family on earth too.

i am just. so not immune to stories about a little guy who's not used to having a family Getting A Family you know?????

[thecursivej]

SOTU - 2024

Well, I'm forcing myself to watch the State of the Union while I grade speeches, so I figured I'd record my reactions and thoughts here.

Do I hope for the words "Immediate Ceasefire"? Absolutely. Will we get them? Looking at the track record, probably not. But I remain optimistic because otherwise I'd be six feet under by now; ANYWHO here is a list of my reactions/thoughts/general feelings of the evening's watch.

I do want to give a point of clarity: I technically am identified as a democrat; truly, I'm a socialist, but seeing as how the U.S. is stuck in this godforsaken two-party-system, that is where I am. Though both sides have me feeling very french-revolutionary-esque.

Of course the first thing I see if MTG rifling through her purse on screen. I quite literally despise her.

AP is discussing Ukraine's need for weapons and funding; I would truly rather us align with Ukraine than Isr@el. I will stand unapologetically firm for Palestine and Ukraine.

Who is actually in the cabinet? I know Blinken, Garland, and Buttiegeg. Damn, wish he was running again. Would rather have him than Biden.

How insane is it that the Sec. of Defense didn't even let the White House know that he had to go in for surgery because of cancer. Like, that's just bonkers to me.

Republicans truly look like fucking robots right now. No warm greetings, no hellos, simple nods.

Republicans out here wasting fucking time with that impeachment of Mayorkas. Like how about we house the homeless populations with the money they wasted on this circus.

Oh funky fresh look at the Ultra-Mormon(TM) Mitt Romney.

MTG with that stupid fucking MAGA hat on is just... disgusting. Like this bitch is crazy.

Okay Joe, speed it up down the fucking aisle please. I got papers to grade.

Lowkey Joe looks like he might have had a five-hour energy drink with that big-ole look in his eyes.

I do appreciate that Joe still smiles and is kind to MTG. She truly doesn't deserve it.

Okay this is getting just a wee bit too monarchy for me.

MTG holds up a button saying "Laken Riley..." (couldn't read the rest). Riley was a 14 year old girl murdered by a man who was an illegal immigrant of venezuela, and instead of handling this situation with grace, empathy, and love; MTG and others seem to be capitalizing on her death to push their anti-immigration rhetoric.

Okay, cool selfie skills Joe, but let's get on with it.

ALSO HOW IS JOE BIDEN GONNA BE SO IN DEPTH WITH TECH AND "Savvy" WITH IT WHEN MOTHERFUCKER WANTS TO BAN TIKTOK!? Hello?!

BERNIE AND RAPHAEL! I feel like I haven't seen these guys in 10 million years.

Oh thank god we're starting.

Aww the little hand shake thingy he does with Kamala makes my heart happy.

Did Joe just yell "tony"?!

Wow, even got some republicans clapping for him (probs not a good thing but here we are)

Okay, good bit of humor at the top; and a throwback to the 40s. Funky fresh.

Yeah we ain't living in ordinary times for damn sure.

Interesting point of democracy being attacked here in the U.S. AND Internationally. (Mentions Ukraine and Putin; no word on Gaza yet).

Someone busted out a Ukrainian flag and shook it; rock on.

OH SHIT HE GOT MIKE JOHNSON TO CLAP!

Appreciate the insistance that the U.S. won't send troops to UKR.

Good use of Reagan to connect with the Repubs; and compare to the predecessor (aka Tr*mp).

Mike Johnson nodding instead of clapping about the predecessor comment, trying to save his ass in Orange Man's eyes.

Welcome to NATO, Sweden!

If there is one thing that should connect Democrats and Republicans; it's hatred for Putin. Yet there's a mix of Repubs standing in agreement and sitting to back up the predecessor's comment on Putin doing "whatever the hell he wants"

Talking about Jan 6. What breaks my heart? My parents still believe it wasn't an insurrection. Yikes on Bikes for me.

The line "You can't love your country only when you win" hits hard and even got Mike Johnson to applaud in agreement.

Foreign AND Domestic. Need a hefty focus on that with the right-wing republican group (@ MTG, Gaetz, Cruz, etc.)

Discussing IVF in Alabama; good connection to the overturning of Rowe v. Wade. It sucks that Republicans HAVE THE POWER to protect IVF nationally but shot the damn bill down not even a week ago.

ABORTION IS A HUMAN RIGHT. BODILY AUTONOMY IS A HUMAN. FUCKING. RIGHT. (@ The Missouri Senators who support taking away bodily autonomy).

WOMEN AREN'T WITHOUT ELECTORAL AND POLITICAL POWER; WE ABOUT TO TURN UP IN FORCE MOTHERFUCKERS!!! Bring back the strats from the 1900s; time to use our power and go bonkers.

Someone get Joe a glass of water please. Motherfucker looks a bit parched and keeps coughing. I get that when my throat goes dryyy

Can Biden not restore RvW? Can he not by an executive order make RvW the law of the land already?

Revisiting COVID's start from 2020 (Next week is the four year anniversary since the global pandemic).

PFFT idk who just yelled "LIES" but that was comical AF.

Well, the pandemic still controls a big part of our lives... so...don't agree with that shit.

Man, everyone sitting-and-standing must be getting a HELLA calf work out.

Sure, unemployment is down and new jobs are built; but corporate greed is quite literally killing us. Can Congress or Biden do something, damn it?!

Are we beginning to feel it, though? Are we feeling good economics? I doubt we are.

Good job pointing out how both parties have failed to buy american products, but how this admin has established that.

There's a good two rows of Republicans who stand in applause; but the rest just... sit there. Like robots. It's freaky as fuck.

Joe is actually doing pretty great with the flow of this speech. Only a couple of stumbles, but overall pretty gucci. (He'd get a 9/10 on delivery in my public speaking class).

God these fuckers are really gonna make me run for office at this damn point.

Removing poisonous lead pipes... but there's still a water crisis in Flint, Biden. Like, what the fuckeroni do you mean?

Yes, let's invest in family farms; lets stop selling our farmland (especially in Missouri) to foreign countries (@ China buying up TONS of Missouri Farmland).

I love that the UAW president is here, because he straight up is my kind of people. Dude wears eat-the-rich shirts and calls out the unethical-ness of billionaires.

UAW President pointing to Biden saying "It's you!"; nah dawg, it's you Sean.

MIDDLE CLASS DID BUILD THE COUNTRY AND UNIONS BUILT THE MIDDLE CLASS MOTHER FUCKERS!!!

Yes we get back up but right now...we might be getting more french revolutionary-esque if y'all don't stop PLAYING WITH OUR LIVES.

Oh jesus not the 4-more-years chants.

Oh now we talking about the future

YES PLEASE END TRICKLE DOWN ECONOMIES.

Says he's not anti-corp; but points out how trickle down economics has only helped the wealthy.

Yeah, how the fuck does it hurt the wealthy to pay just a weeee bit more in taxes? Like dawg, what are you gonna do with another million? What's the point?

Ooooh is Biden about to rope the repubs into some bipartisan shit? Please do.

What is Republicans huge issue with capping insulin? Truly? Who does it harm? Billionaires still get billions.

[greenlikethesea]

emails between dustin and max, fair ithilien verse

these will likely never see the light of day, mostly written to make @sparklyslug smile and give us some character work. basically, they're tech savvy and email each other!

the only context you need to know for these two emails is that max, in her prior email, told dustin to stop being such a dick to megan and stop meddling in steve's affairs.

06-14-1998

SUBJECT: Two photos, one question

Madmax,

I know I’ve already seen you in person and we worked it all out, but I want to tie up this thread too, because if nothing else, I’m a completionist. Suzy’s brother Samson says it’s because I have a Virgo moon. I have literally no idea what that means, but I’m sticking to it.

This reply is a week late because I had to stop being mad at you first. Not because you were mean, which you kind of were even if you acknowledged it, but because you were right, which you absolutely were. And you know how much I hate it when you’re right. I am lonely, and I’m pissed off because neither of them are fucking happy in their relationships and could be perfectly happy with each other. Fuck, Eddie won’t even officially tell me that he’s dating Josh, even though he’s been in the picture for a while now. And god, it’s bad. He and Steve haven’t spoken to each other in like four months. Steve’s drinking again, and doing that thing where he thinks he’s hiding it. No one else knows, but I know him, and I know the tells.

I’ll have you know that I’m only going to keep my mouth shut about Megan for everyone else’s sake. You all act like I’m out for blood with her, and that’s not true. I just think he should be with someone who actually knows him. I wish he’d think with his whole brain instead of his heart (and, to be real, his dick, because she is objectively hot). 

Okay, enough about that, it’s thoroughly depressing me. Subjecting myself to utter mortification in order to not mope around and be single: I caved. I got a profile on Match.com. I have filled out more information than I did the last time I went to the doctor. And because apparently my shining personality is not enough, I’ve attached two pictures for the profile. Please tell me the one I look the least bad in. Be honest. Not that I have to tell you to be honest, because you will be, but really, don’t hold back. 

Glad I finally got to meet this mystery girlfriend you keep mentioning in your emails. You didn’t tell me Claire was that fucking cool. Way to hold out on me. If you don’t want to go with her to the next Weird Al show on account of it being, in your oh-so-incorrect words, “unspeakably lame,” I will gladly go with her as a friend. I’ll pick her up and everything. 

Forgive me if this is crass, but I feel like you’ll get pissed if I pussyfoot around it – are you gay now? I know you were kind of in bisexual land for a while, but Claire is for keeps, I think. I know you haven’t been together for a long time, but sometimes you get a vibe. 

Love,

Dustin

SUBJECT: Re: Two photos, one question

Darlingest,

Claire is the absolute coolest. I’m pretty sure I’m in love with her, which is frightening and not something I want to touch now that I’ve written it out, so don’t ask for elaboration. The only annoying thing about her is that she works nights right now, so coordinating plans with her can be tricky. But that means I can write this email to you in peace, and that also means that she’ll be wide awake when you see Accordion Man next month, thankfully without me.

Let’s get the pertinent shit out of the way: they’re both good photos, but the second picture’s better. Not that anyone will believe you if you tell them I told you this, but you have a great smile. The nerdy girl of your dreams would much rather see you silly than serious. It’s weird to see you serious. I know you wanted a brutal critique, so I showed them to Erica when she was over yesterday and she said you look constipated in the first one. Call her, by the way. She’s pretending to not miss you but she’s worried that you haven’t reached out. I told her you’re just busy and that you skipped out on our phone call too (which fuck you, by the way :D), but she’s still worried.

As for the topic of my sexuality – grateful as always that you didn’t pussyfoot around it – one of the interns in the office refers to herself as queer and that sounds good. I feel a little uneasy about it sometimes, because Billy weaponized that word to an absurd degree, but it also feels like a fuck you to him, in a way. I think I’ve heard Steve use it a few times too, and if he’s using it in a positive way, I can too. (Yeah, he’s finally owning being queer, even though he’s not telling anyone still. I don’t know why. We’ve all known since like 94. 95, at the latest.) Not everyone likes it, but I do. I hope that answers your question.

I can hear Claire poking around the kitchen for something to eat, so I should probably help her out. It’s a good pain day today, barely need my cane at all. 

Call me, you bitch. I miss you.

Love,

Max

[missingrache]

10 fandoms 10 blorbos, very belatedly responding to a tag from lovely @windsweptinred:

1. Bioshock: Mark Meltzer

This man is the subject of my very first post on tumblr, he must be included here, I adore this sad fuck.

2. Homestuck: Diamonds Droog

A toss up between him and Slick. I was and am a Homestuck Intermission girlie and this must be acknowledged.

3. Dragon Age: Justice

I have many many Dragon Age faves and DAO and also Awakening is so so important to me, but Jorstin here is the fellow I have the most distinct and personal opinions about and is, aside from OCs like my Brosca Warden, Avi, the only one I have a strong rp/fic voice for. He’s such a weird and cool dude!

4. DC Comics/Animated Universe: Martian Manhunter/ J’onn J’onzz

My BOY. I love him most in the VERY specific comic pictured above (1988 miniseries that establishes the Martian gods as being flaming horrorterrors, as we see in Sandman w/L’zoril Dream, it’s GOOD SHIT)—but also in general. Criminally under rated and under represented. A sad fuck, a shape shifting horror, a stranger in a strange land, a bereaved parent, Doing His Goddamn Best. AND sometimes a noir detective send up.

Anyway, speaking of comics.

5. Sandman: Dream of the Endless

I am thrilled to be here in the year of our lord 2024 enthusing about and making friends over this scrunkly wet cat that I first encountered and dearly loved in high school. (I am more than halfway through my 30’s now, so it has been A WHILE). I’m counting Sandman and DC as separate affairs, sorry not sorry.

6. Our Flag Means Death: Izzy Hands

Loved him even before S2, fascinated, I want to put him in a jar and shake him but also keep him safe forever. I am a little soured on the show after s2, but I have dressed up as Izzy and would gladly do so again so he belongs here.

7. Supergiant Hades: Achilles

This SPECIFIC version of Achilles, who has died and continued growing through his pain and regrets and who is a surrogate parent to my BOI Zagreus, is. Fascinating. To me. I was so angry at first to find myself liking him as much as I did! It’s masterful how much characterization Supergiant implies with relatively little. He’s coming after Izzy on the list bc I came to them both in similar ways, looking at myself falling in love and going oh my god HIM? Seriously? And being like yup that war criminal there is my son now!!! (And now of course I’m fond of him all across the mythological/classical board, oh my god Hadesgame what have you done.)

8. Star Wars: Alexsandr Kallus

The only space nazi redemption arc I will accept. (Although I am watching Andor with friends right now and three double agent gingers across the begins to suggest a pattern which is very entertaining to me.)

Anyway A+ arc, love this bastard man, love his giant cat husband, single-handedly keeping me invested in Star Wars, hope his gay happy ending never gets messed with.

9. Les Miserables: Inspector Javert

Another character that I went oh my god REALLY??? That Guy??? About. But he’s so /funny/ in the Brick and Stars is lovely enough that I learned how to play barre chords on my guitar Just For That and look. Look. He is a bastard but he is MY bastard and I will read every redeemed!Javert fic that crosses my path forever the end. (Also a side note: Kallus was originally sold to me by @lokivangelist as “space Javert”)

10. The Witcher: Dandelion/Jaskier (all versions, but repping Hexer below because that’s my favorite!!!)

Throwing a curveball for the last slot! I’ve got a sad dad/monochrome aesthetic/loyal right hand/shapeshifting nonhuman/rigid worldview kinda pattern happening above, and my boi here slip slides away from almost all of those. Except for the loyalty. This man is an absolute ride or die for Geralt and I love that about him. He is also an obnoxious fuckboi but I love that too, especially in a story as heavy as the Witcher frequently can be. (My runner up for this fandom was gonna be book!Lambert, who is similarly narratively savvy and good at puncturing the heaviness of a scene without being straight up comic relief.)

There they are! Ten blorbos, I climbed that whole mountain and now I’m heading to bed. (Will tag folks tomorrow perhaps? But also feel free to invite yourself in and do this and say I tagged you if you like, because I am curious what my mutuals and etc . might choose!)

[the-big-nope]

So as not to continue spamming my discord group, gonna start off-loading TLOVM thoughts here, because I love examining how this show works as an adaptation, and in this particular post I just wanted to comment on how delightful (in both a dramatic and also a "this is clearly meant to toy with the non-critter audience" sense) I find how they did "The Sunken Tomb"/"Those Who Walk Away." Because if you don't know how things went in the campaign, it is a constant, stressful bait-and-switch over which twin is going to come out worse in the end.

If you don’t already know what’s going to happen, you'd think from the way they handled the build up in Sunken Tomb (Vex being the more focal character, telling Vax in the flashback that she doesn't need him, Vax descending alone into the hole in the tomb) that something bad is going to happen to him, but NOPE, it's Vex that gets toasted. Then in the next episode during the resurrection ritual, the way they visualized the Matron accepting Vax's offer was by cutting a thread. Stream watchers know those threads symbolize fate and what that represents for these characters and their stories, but people who don’t know that would probably think "thread of life," like the Greek Fates cutting someone's lifeline. Using that reasoning, one would assume Vex is dead. But NOPE! Then when Vex wakes up and there's a notable segment of time where Vax isn't shown at all, people are made to think "Oh god, she took the deal, he's dead or gone and they're just stalling the reveal." BUT NOPE! I just think it was a clever way to play around with the genre savviness of the non-critters watching the show.

I almost wish they'd pushed it a little bit farther by not having Vax already in the armor. It just appearing on him was spooky in a fun way and it was probably because they needed a strong visual cue that the deal had been accepted, so I can understand why they went with it, but I still wonder if leaving it ambiguous and letting the non-critter audience be stressed the whole episode about what the fuck was going on with Vax until he passed the test might have made awakening the Vestige even punchier, even more epic, and one last sneaky bit of whiplash for the audience. After he solos the not!Beholder they think "oh, this is actually a cool thing! We were worried for nothing!" And they're lured into a false sense of security for a short bit before his last vision at the end of the episode dampens the mood, confirming that no, there is in fact a steep price that has to be paid here, and this matter is far from resolved.

[llycaons]

ep9: dafan wens my friends the dafan wens

imo this is def the weakest arc in the show. this episode was fun but whew, I think ep8 might have been my least favorite and we're still getting out of it

he asks this question way later in eps 20 and 43 or something and each time lwj is like 'we just gotta rush them' king of rigid problem-solving and only having one solution to any problem <3

threatening jc with lwj is kind of funny but on a rewatch it's like. ah

credit where it is due. jc almost expressed concern here for wwx

wwx defending lwj for zero reason and then turning and giving him such a sweet smile. bud you are so far gone <3

NOW IT'S DAYTIME?? not even dawn but BROAD daylight. mama mia

yeah, I feel like putting the zombied people in the cage would have been safer than putting the healthy ones in

IS HE. HMM

god this is so sad. look how miserable wq looks to see her popo like this

I don't like any of the surreal, drawn-out, misty sequences interspersed with fight scenes. I mean the waterborne abyss. I mean this forest fight. I mean a chunk of yi city. I mean the maze forest. I just hate the hazy atmosphere and there's usually no good character moments and there's a ton of worldbuilding magic that I can't follow very well and don't rly care for

this fight isn't bad tho! there's some fun banter and some cool angles, like the one above

ANOTHER ATTEMPT AT STRANGLING WWX. WHEN WILL HE CATCH A BREAK. this is the first of...four? jc, wrh, and jgy way later...let wwx breathe 2k23

also this is a VERY funny thing to worry about. lwj is very good at going Heady Empty (meditation) but wwx found it challenging due to having so many thoughts

I SEE BABY A-YUAN!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO!!!!!!!!

as much as I complain about him as a character I was THRILLED to see this little guy. I LOVE baby a-yuan and I think he's just precious. his survival was one of the things I needed to be spoiled for in order to watch the show without significant distress

though given the timeline this can't be a-yuan...he'd be way too old by the time the post-sunshot timeline rolls around. that's at least two years later. so I guess this is his older sister who looks the same as him. god but that's a cute little actor. love him and his big chubby cheeks and his little fingers and his baby wig

GREAT choice for little wn and wq too. they look just like their adult versions. actually I think the casting for all the kids versions of the adult characters was perfect except for a-yuan doesn't look a great deal like lsz imo

HA. wrh may be power-hungry and getting more unhinged by the day with the magic of the yin iron but he's still a more savvy political actor than his stupid fucking son. 'of course wen qing is going to intervene if you mess with her family, you fuckhead' lmao

SUCH a pretty shot I love how saturated the colors are for their outfits and headpieces

literally such a fucking funny scene. well-dressed young nobles hunting in the woods for a chicken. and wwx being so clever and getting wq alone so he and lwj can question her in private. curious how quick he was to cut nhs and jc out. nhs isn't from either of their sects, but jc should theoretically be trustworthy. except! wwx doesn't trust him. hmmm. even this early, he and lwj act as a unit. lwj's entirely given up trying to go it alone and now they work together nearly seamlessly

literally seconds apart. I fucking give up. and I don't think it's the translations because this has been a consistent issue in all the versions I've watched. it's 10! wq and wn are clearly around the age of the others so it's not 20

remember that post that's like 'jc: lady wen may I rub thine shoulders? massage your feet? feed you grapes? vs. wwx and wq doing a six-step handshake and laughing together' that NAILED it. jc trying to be attentive and gentlemanly bc he views her as a Woman and he's trying to fulfill the role he understands to be expected of him, as a man, in society ( to Intervene and Protect). meanwhile wwx views her as an independent actor in this shitty situation they're in. dgmw wwx is also sexist but he treats women more like human people than jc does, esp wq. he also thinks out of the box and isn't afraid to challenge social norms, unlike jc who's guided by social expectations because his parents haven't given him strong positive role modeling and he doesn't have strong instincts on how to behave outside of what he's been taught by society in general

but like I said. still sexist. it's not like being a creative and original thinker can save him from Living In A Society

lwj is very polite to wq, as he appears to be to all women, but I don't think he'd get close with any women because he doesn't get close with anyone at all. also I don't think he meets many women so he doesn't have much interaction with them outside of professional and impersonal settings so they've been at an arm's length from him since he mama died

jc is consistently so unpleasant to wwx. like would it kill you to be supportive of your brother when he's trying to solve a mystery. for ONCE

I like this waiter <3

be nice to the waiter my GOD jc. chill out. he's just telling a story

ohhh cinematic parallels to post-sunshot hmm 👀

overall the yin iron plot is overly complex, kind of silly, and imo feels extraneous, and I can def tell why novel fans dislike it. but it did give the boys and girl some quality time together and an excuse for exposition/backstory development and really, that's all the purpose it needed to serve before its bigger role later. now if only jyl was on more of these trips :( I miss my girl. I love wq but jyl is probably my favorite female character

personal highlights

wwx's cute little smile directed at lwj for no other reason than that he likes him

wwx finding it hard to concentrate in the woods because he just has too many thoughts, which he interprets are being so so smart (and he IS I love you wei wuxian)

nhs and jc going chicken-hunting in the woods

BABY A-YUAN DEBUT!!!!!

[andypantsx3]

say the word and you know i’ll follow

pairing: Todoroki Shouto / Reader

status: complete

length: 3,262 words

summary: While moving in with Shouto, you get caught up reliving the scene of his confession. Quite literally.

(A smutty oneshot sequel to my fic if i could keep cool.)

tags: romance, reader-insert, fluff, smut

warnings: aged up characters, eventual smut, cunnilingus, light bondage

notes: Also cross-posted on my AO3! The manga really has me all in my Todo feels rn but I don't wanna write a whole other fic before I finish the Hawks one, so please have this fluffy smutty one shot as a compromise. It likely won’t make sense unless you’ve read if i could keep cool first, so please check it out if you have the time!

It was sweltering when you stepped outside to make your way to Shouto’s apartment.

A thin film of sweat immediately began to build wherever your skin pressed against the box you carried, and the sun beat down furiously on the crown of your head. You instantly started to second guess your choice to take the train, wondering how dumb of a move it had been to decline an alternative means of transit. It was going to be like being packed into a sardine can and roasted over a hot stove.

Shouto had offered to send an agency car, but there were only so many more times you were going to make the trip from your crumbling student apartment to his place, and you had wanted to make the most of it. You didn’t even really need to bring boxes over just yet--as Shouto had hired a moving company to take care of everything next week--but you didn’t want to lose anything that was inside this one. This one held all your most treasured items--keepsakes from your friends, a pressed white tulip, and all the gifts Shouto had ever given you (minus, of course, the vegetables).

Steeling yourself for an uncomfortable twenty minutes, you set off towards the station, weaving through the tired crowds of people who looked just as sun-weary as you. Thankfully, with a hat over your face and a box you could shift to obscure your features, very few people seemed to recognize you as you did so.

A lot of the media attention surrounding your mishap a year ago had died down, and you had been good about keeping your relationship mostly private, so you weren’t exactly a household name to most people. But there were enough twitter-savvy teens and meme-literate college students that you were sometimes recognized as you went about your daily life.

This time, you were only eyed curiously by one pair of teenage girls as they bundled into the train car across from you, but they didn’t say anything to you, didn’t ask you to reenact the most embarrassing five seconds of your entire life into their phones, as many often did. The box hid you from the rest of the train car, and no one else seemed to take interest in your presence.

After exiting the train at downtown, you made it to Shouto’s building in record time, all but rocket-fueled by your desire to get out of the hot sun. The security team in the lobby of his building gave you friendly nods as you passed, one of them graciously pressing the button for the elevator so you didn’t have to fumble around your box.

You thanked her, making your way into the elevator and elbowing the button for Shouto’s floor. The elevator was even cooler than the lobby, and you shivered in delight as the frigid chill of air conditioning washed over you. God, this building was so fucking nice compared to yours. You were going to be spoiled as fuck once you lived here.

You made it to Shouto’s floor without incident, though digging in your bag for your keys was impossible at the moment, so you knocked on his door as firmly as you could manage with the box still balanced in your arms.

There were a few seconds of silence. Then, the door swung open and Shouto stood there, grinning at you.

His hair still looked a little damp from a recent shower, and he was wearing a dark button up over a soft tee shirt and a pair of dark jeans. He looked unbearably good, as boyishly handsome as ever, and your heart gave an embarrassing little stutter, like it always did whenever you saw him. You suspected it was always going to be like that, no matter how long the two of you had been dating.

Shouto’s eyebrows went up as he considered the box in your arms. That heterochromatic gaze picked over you curiously, expression going carefully blank, like it typically did when he was up to some mischief. And then, after a long moment, he spoke.

“You’re not wearing the scarf,” he said, sounding upset.

You stared up at him, feeling your brow wrinkle. The scarf? It was fucking summer, and the scarf was neatly tucked away in the box you were holding. It was literally boiling hot just outside the well-air conditioned hallways of his building. Why on earth did he think you would be wearing--

You inhaled a little sharply when the answer hit you.

The scarf.

The scarf was the first thing he had mentioned the day he had finally confessed to you. Well, after you had confessed first, really, on national television earlier that week, that you were thirsty as hell for him and were also really bad at picking up subtle clues. Or overt clues. Or any clues, honestly.

But now you were standing in his hallway with a box again, and he was clearly remembering what had happened the last time you had done so.

You wracked your brain for what you had said to him in reply that day, trying to hone in on the words past the sudden swell of embarrassment.

“Uh, it’s in here,” you finally replied, gesturing to the box.

That grey and blue gaze dropped to the parcel in your arms, then flickered up to your face. You pushed the box at him, the way you had the day he’d confessed, feeling just as squirmish as you had then.

What else had you said to him? Something very watery and over dramatic, likely. Something like...

“It’s all, um, there--if you wanted to check,” you said. “Except for the vegetables obviously. But I can pay you back, if you give me a couple months.”

Shouto was clearly suppressing a smirk as he feigned curiosity. “Pay me….what?”

You suppressed your own absurd laugh, wondering how far down mortifying memory lane he wanted to go.

“I also wrote down a recommendation for a new cleaning lady, if you want,” you said, patting the top of the box. “It’s in there. Her name’s Mika, she’s super nice. And I can message you or your manager when I have the money. Just let me know which one you’d prefer. Or I can have Mika drop it off.”

Shouto gripped the box, then, long, elegant fingers pulling back the flaps for him to peer inside. He looked absolutely delighted to find the scarf actually within. In one fluid movement, he pulled the scarf out, depositing the box behind him, and turned back to grab your sleeve, pulling you quickly into the apartment with him.

“Okay, what are you doing with the scarf this time?” you laughed, breaking character.

One white eyebrow went up as Shouto gripped your wrist firmly, eyeing you closely as he pulled off your baseball cap.

“Mm,” he hummed absently in his deep tone. “Something I should have done the first time.” He caught your other wrist, pressing it into the sinfully soft fabric of your favorite accessory.

You looked at him, bewildered, feeling your mouth twist into a slight frown. You rather liked the way things had gone the first time around, considering that you had ended up with a boyfriend at the end of it all. What was his bone to pick with the first time around?

“Uh, if I’m recalling correctly, the first time went great,” you said to him. “Like, really really great. Christening your countertops several different times great.”

There was a flash of white teeth as Shouto grinned.

“Ah, but I missed an opportunity,” he said. A soft sensation slid over your other wrist, and you looked down in confusion.

Then it hit you what he was up to, and your face instantly went up in flames.

A firm tug had your wrists knotted together, and Shouto smirked down at you, tugging you closer by the silky fabric of your scarf. Your stomach swooped at the intent look in his eye.

“I had been upset you weren’t wearing the scarf,” he said. “But there was an easy way to fix that.”

You swallowed heavily, your tongue feeling strangely thick. Your brain was suddenly, but predictably, very very empty.

“Y-yeah. But technically you, um. You did fix it,” you babbled helplessly, limbs growing shivery with static as Shouto pressed closer. He was so warm, and he was so stupidly handsome.

“I’ve, uh, worn it a lot since,” you managed.

Shouto considered you quietly, a familiar, wry little smile pressing at the corner of his mouth.

Before you’d started dating, you’d been confused as hell by that expression, suspecting it meant he was bewildered by your very existence but was too polite to say so. After just over a year together, however, you had learned that was just what his face did when he thought you were being unreasonably appealing. Which, mystifyingly, was mostly when the working part of your brain disconnected from your mouth.

You scrounged around for other coherent words, thoughts thick and sluggish, like you were thinking through pudding.

Shouto, however, was merciful, putting an end to your suffering by leaning down and taking your mouth with his.

All the coherent thought you’d managed to dredge up melted away like frost under the morning sun. You pressed yourself closer to him, leaning up to give him better access to your mouth. Shouto kissed you as stupid as he always did before a hot hand came up to cup your face, thumb sliding over your cheek affectionately.

“It seems I’ve got you in the scarf as I had wanted,” Shouto said quietly, once he let you up for air. “But now I find that the scarf is all I want you in.”

You opened your mouth to respond, though what you might have said was as much a mystery to you as anyone. But all that managed to come out was a choked, breathy little noise.

Shouto laughed.

Then there were large hands on your waist, and the next thing you knew, you were staring down at the wood paneling of Shouto’s floor as it moved underneath you. Shouto adjusted you over his shoulder briefly, and then he was charting a brisk course to his bedroom, depositing you like an errant pillow back onto his sheets.

Your cheeks burned as he crawled over you, gaze hot and searching.

“Are you alright, love?” he asked.

You nodded vehemently, eyes pulled to the little flat sliver of his abs where his shirt had ridden up.

“Good, yeah, I’m so good,” you managed to garble out. You were going to be so embarrassed about this later, but as usual when it came to him, you really couldn’t help it. If you’d learned anything in the year you’d been together, it was that you would always have the world’s fattest crush on Shouto Todoroki.

Strong fingers came up to grasp your chin, tipping your face up for another searing kiss. You managed to loop your bound arms over the back of Shouto’s neck, tangling your fingers in his soft hair and pulling him down to you more firmly.

Shouto flattened himself against you, so that you could feel every strong plane of his body, every hard muscle. You shuddered, and you could feel Shouto smirk against your mouth.

“Like that, do you?” he asked, hands pulling at your shirt. You wiggled so that he could pull it out from under you, sliding it up to rest just below the scarf. In the next second he’d also gotten you out of your pants, so that you were mostly bare to him in the cool apartment air.

Shouto looked you over for a moment, looking like he still couldn’t believe you existed. “Having you over the countertops was something that I wouldn’t change. Something that I won’t change, once you move in.”

Your face went hot and you squirmed underneath him.

“However,” he said softly, “I believe I would have liked to have been more deliberate with you. Taken my time with you,” he paused. “Perhaps...I might have made you come once for every photo of me on your twitter.”

The tips of your ears went hot. Jesus Christ, he couldn’t be serious.

You had deleted that twitter over a year ago, and though he’d apparently been allowed access to the contents by his manager (rude) there was absolutely no way he could remember how many pictures of him you’d retweeted. You’d been the one doing the retweeting, and even you didn’t remember, though you thought the number was probably embarrassingly high.

“There was like, one,” you squeaked out.

Shouto’s smile went dark and he leaned over you, his perfect, infuriating mouth so close he might have kissed you again.

“Thirteen,” he said, mouth brushing yours as he spoke. “There were thirteen photos of me on your twitter. All while you tried so hard to act like you didn’t want me, that you wanted to be just friends.”

“Hey, you said you wanted to be my friend,” you protested. You jerked when his hand slid up your side to cup a breast, thumb slipping under the band of your bra.

“You weren’t accepting my gifts,” he said, fingers grazing your nipple. You bit down on an embarrassing noise, letting out a sharp breath. “How else was I to make you take them?”

You opened your mouth to respond but Shouto made another pass over your nipple, and a moan escaped you instead.

“That’s right, love,” he said encouragingly. “Now I’m going to make you give me something in return. Thirteen somethings, in fact.”

He peeled down the cup of your bra, fastening his hot mouth over your breast. You whined, twitching when he flattened his tongue, dragging it slowly over the point of your nipple. A strong arm came up to press your hands down over your head.

“Shouto, thirteen is insane,” you panted.

He paid you no mind, instead swirling his tongue in a way that made your vision blur.

A tugging at your wrists made you look up, in time to see Shouto one-handedly looping the long end of the scarf through the slats on his headboard and pulling tight. Your whole body clenched up at the implication.

The slide of fabric over your breasts told you that Shouto had also managed to get your bra up, and hot mouth closed over your other nipple, long fingers carefully plucking at the other. “We have all weekend, love. Thirteen is ambitious but quite possible.”

You made a weak noise of acknowledgement, hips shifting forward against his stomach.

Shouto laughed, hot breath ghosting over your breast, and then he was crawling down your torso, hands grasping your underwear. He pulled it down slowly, torturously, until he managed to get it off you, then pulled your knee over his shoulder.

You whimpered, feeling like you might actually pass out from how hot he looked, one thigh thrown carelessly over his shoulder, gaze intent, staring down at you like a starving man looking at a hot meal.

You squirmed, trying to pull your arms down to get your hands on him, but the scarf held fast, pulling more firmly over your wrists.

“Shouto, please,” you said, though whether you were begging for him to touch you or to let you go, even you didn’t know.

Shouto seemed to take it as permission. Those two-toned eyes passed over you hotly, and then he was leaning down, biting down gently on the inside of your thigh. You jerked violently, but he held you in place, mouth trailing slowly, slowly down to where you wanted him.

You thought you might actually black out before he got where he was going.

“I can’t believe I ever told you you were unwelcome in my apartment,” he murmured, sucking a slow bruise into the skin at the crease of your thigh. “Once you move in, I’m never going to let you leave it.”

“Oh my god,” you said.

Shouto’s tongue flicked out, catching the edge of your sex, and you tried not to choke on air.

Then, finally, he moved, fastening his mouth over you, exactly where you wanted him. All reason completely left you.

After that, everything was an unbearable flurry of feeling--a soft tongue swirling over you, the tickle of his bangs on your stomach, the press of broad shoulders between your knees. There was the rasp of his sheets between your shoulder blades, the slow, deliberate press of two fingers inside of you, a firm grip on your thigh, fingers digging in tightly.

You could feel every point of connection with him, every minute movement of his mouth over you, and the sensation built up into something so horribly, terribly good. You were unable to do anything but writhe and pant underneath him, babbling something that sounded like it might be an approximation of his name.

Shouto hummed and sucked softly, those long fingers curling inside you. He finally hit a spot that made you see stars, and you practically lifted off the bed, back bowing. Shouto licked you through it, tongue curling expertly around your clit while you sobbed out his name, only slowing when your body went slack, collapsing back into his sheets.

When you could see straight once more, you realized he was staring up at you, that wry smile curling the corner of his mouth again.

You fought down a blush, feeling an embarrassed grin pull at the corner of your own mouth.

“You’re unreal,” you said. “I can’t believe I’m going to get to have you all the time.”

Shouto pressed a short kiss to the skin of your hip. “You already have me all the time.”

You flapped a hand in its bindings. “You know what I mean. I can’t believe we’re going to live together.”

His fingers slid gently over the back of your thigh. “I’d have had you in here sooner, if you hadn’t insisted on graduating first.”

You laughed. He was always so very straightforward about whatever he wanted.

He had been making very unsubtle noises about living together only a few months into your relationship, but you’d insisted that you wait at least a year. He’d grown up with more conservative mores, having been raised a rich boy, and taking things quickly once he knew he was serious about you seemed to be the style of things. But you, despite your frankly unreasonable thirst for your own boyfriend, knew the value of taking things just a little bit slower.

So you’d waited a year, just to be prudent, though you’d known all along how things would end up.

And now he finally had his way.

“I’m all yours now,” you promised, laughing. “Soon you’ll be sick of me hogging the bed, and leaving books everywhere, and getting so blackout at the farmer’s market that we don’t have room for all the vegetables.”

“Ah, you’re using me for vegetable access,” he accused, though the effect was somewhat ruined by the smile he was attempting to smother into your thigh.

“A girl’s gotta have her priorities,” you grinned.

Something lit up in Shouto’s gaze again, and he shifted up against your thigh to lean over you more fully. His fingers gripped the back of your knee tightly.

“I'll make you pay for that,” he promised darkly. “Twelve more times.”

You shivered as he took your mouth again, fingers sliding back between your thighs with obvious intent.

And then you really did. You paid for it.

Twelve more times.

[alirhi]

10 Sebastian roles as boyfriends

Because... I'm bored and I feel like it. 😂 Probably some spoilers for, like... everything? So yeah... That.

Putting it under here for easy scrolling:

10: Chase Collins

Who doesn't love a goofball? In the first half of the movie, Chase is basically perfect. He's sweet, funny, not all caught up in his ego, and actually pays attention to what the girls around him are saying, not just to what he wants to hear. If not for the whole... it was all an act to get close to Caleb and try to steal his magic thing, Chase would actually be a damn good high school boyfriend. He's adorable and would be a fun date, but he's also only 18 so best not to start making long-term plans lol. Also, y'know... the whole psycho revenge/power grab thing.

9 Jack Benjamin

Y'all. Y'all. Words cannot describe how much I love Jack. Pretty sure I've made this clear. As a person/character in general, he's absolutely in my Top 3 - not just of Sebastian's characters, but any character ever. ❤ But as a boyfriend? Boy's got baggage. It's what makes me so protective of him, but seeing as how he's trapped in the closet thanks to his overbearing homophobic family and the insane expectations heaped on him, as the show left him, he can't handle an honest relationship. He's too easily influenced by all the wrong people, poor babe.

8 Chris (Destroyer)

On paper, undercover cop sounds cool and exciting, but even if you ignore the fact that he, y'know, dies... Chris got in too deep and kinda lost the mission, so to speak. Best case scenario, you're his sexy partner and in on it all with him and end up on the lam for the rest of your lives. Worst case, this man lies for a living, so can you even trust him? And... yeah. The whole dead thing. Chris is hot af but getting involved with him is a recipe for disaster.

7 Ben

Min and Hathor have mercy, I love Ben! He's smart, he's snarky, he's caring and loyal... he's an absolute disaster. He's another one who seems allergic to honesty, until his lying and avoiding nearly kill his girlfriend. Not exactly relationship goals lol. Everything before totally was, though! Ben's adorable, and I love how he stayed up all night to protect his girlfriend (from a ghost/demon thing... with a baseball bat. I said he was smart, not perfect, okay? XD points for effort lol)

6 Mickey Henry

I. LOVE. MICKEY. Oml I love Mickey. He's a spazz and - even more so than Ben - an absolute disaster of a human being, but I love him. Pros for dating Mickey Henry: he's fun, he's carefree, he'll cook for you even though he's kinda bad at it lol, he loves his son and wants to be a good dad, he wants his partner to be happy and to love life as much as he does. Cons, and the reason he's not higher on the list: He's a pushover; easily influenced by the toxic people in his life, and it gets him into a lot of trouble. Being easily influenced by toxic dumpster fire of a human being Chloe almost lost him the partial custody of his son that he barely even had. He's an absolute sweetheart, but he's a complete man-child, and dating him would often feel more like raising him.

5 Frank "Suffer Buddy"

Come on! You know he and Mickey had to be back-to-back - they're practically the same character! 😂 Frank is Mickey... slightly more grown up. He's still a disaster, but he's respectful of boundaries, he's caring, he's funny in a dry, witty way that I just adore, and hoo lordy that man is a giver! 🥴🥵 Honestly, if he didn't smoke and didn't ditch Daphne in the middle of a party hours away from everything familiar to her surrounded by strangers to go do drugs, I'd call Frank perfect. He listened, he respected her wishes, he tried to keep some distance between them when he found out she'd gone on a date with his best friend (it failed utterly and brought us to the "damn that man's good with his mouth" portion of the movie lmao but still)... I don't have a whole lot of experience with men who actually give a shit, okay? So Frank is like a goddamn unicorn to me lmao. But that drug thing... That keeps him at the bottom of the Top 5 for me. Sorry, bb

4 Bucky

I can already hear everyone on here raging at me for placing Bucky so low on this list, but hear me out: I love this man. I love all four iterations of this man. Flirty 40s Bucky was a doll (fun date, not commitment material). Post-POW camp 40s Bucky had a fire to him that set me on fire. The Winter Soldier can choke me any damn day. Unf. And TFATWS Bucky... Oh, lady above, 2023 Bucky is a gem! He's sweet, snarky, and broken. He feels utterly, wretchedly alone in the world, and everyone around him, including his only friend, is telling him to "man up" and "make amends" for shit that was never his fault to begin with, rather than helping him come to terms with all that he's suffered and all that he's survived. Bucky needs and deserves love. A relationship with him would be so solid, if he found the right person... But it would take a fuck ton of work. He needs someone strong, patient, and more stubborn than he is to prod him until he finds a better therapist and actually opens up, and to keep him on track because even good therapy comes with homework. He does have to "do the work," Sam was right about that much, but he was way off base with what that "work" is. Bucky needs help and understanding, and he would be an amazing boyfriend... if he found someone with the strength to help him weather his nightmares and flashbacks, and help pull him out of this PTSD pit he's been in since 1943.

3 Chris Beck

Big brains turn me on, okay? 😂This man is an astronaut and a surgeon! Yes, please! Come here, you sexy genius! He's smart, he's funny - pretty sure Sebastian is incapable of playing anyone who's not delightfully snarky lol. He's pragmatic when he needs to be but there's also nothing he wouldn't do or risk for the ones he loves. This man is husband material and I cannot be convinced otherwise! So why isn't he #1? Cuz of the whole... spending years in space, thing. Super cool job and I'd be his biggest fan on the ground, but god damn, I would miss him while he's away!

2 TJ Hammond

Look, I'm gender fluid and he's a little bit bi 😂😂😂 Let me have my fantasy, okay? TJ's definitely got a lot of shit to work through, but love brings out the best in him. Before that fucking closeted shitbag broke his heart and stomped on it for good measure, TJ was clean and sober for months, he was happy, he was playing piano again, he was pulling himself together. Not only would he be an amazing boyfriend, but his partner would get the extra joy of getting to watch their love and devotion to him be the thing that saves this beautiful man's life. It's not healthy overall to tie your self worth and will to live to a relationship, but if he found the right person who would be there for him through all of life's shit and stick it out, I think he'd be okay. Even after his lowest point and without the support of his family, TJ still had a dream and he still chased it. He's not just the sweetest person to ever grace our screens, but he's ambitious and business-savvy, too. Keep him off drugs and watch this man take over the world, I'm telling you!

So why is TJ only #2? Well, besides the fact that he's like 99% gay and I have no bits he'd be interested in lmao, there's also the fact that this guy owns my heart:

1 Will Franklyn

And not just because we get to see him wet and mostly naked lol. Will is fucking perfect. I would die for this man... because he's already shown that he would die for his love. He almost fucking did, and they weren't even together yet! He's smart and very aware, he's a writer so we'd get to bond/geek out over books together, he's not all full of himself (self-deprecating humor ftw!) and he's willing to help a total stranger despite actual mortal peril, just because it's the right thing to do. Fierce, intelligent, sassy, strong-willed, and a flawless moral compass? YESYESYESYESYES! Forget boyfriend - let me MARRY this man! 😍🥰

[superbattrash]

Ep 2, let’s go

I can do another episode before I start writing, right? Right

I really like that they put actual warnings before the episode starts, thank you for that, The Boys

HELP MOVE THE BODY, HUGHIE

thank you

So what you’re saying is…. You’re a mechenary? FucK HE ISNT DEAD.

Hughie: Thank fuck he’s alive

Me: FUCK NO HES ALIVE

Pls don’t tell me they gotta kill him again?? They’re gonna torture him?? Oh no, they totally are, aren’t they?

Oh. Oh, she is… wow. Hi

Of course he owes this weird dude money, you can’t just be a normal weirdly supes obsessed badass, can you Butch?

Chipped???? What in the world- ok fine. I’ll just accept it for now

The A-train is…. something, huh. Oh. Oh man. This is awkward. Oh so awkward. Cancer and kids. This is…. great. They’re really scripting this guy? Well I understand why

They won’t like you, sweetheart, you actually wanna help people. “And that is why we love you” you are absolutely disgusting, lady, that is creepy. So she’s gotta patrol with her rapist? Oh joy

[jams] well at least the music is pretty good

“I’m not a murderer” that’s ok, Butch- oh he said it himself, that’s good okay, at least he’s not that much of a liar

Sweet of him??? He just called you old, lady???

Oh. Oh maybe she’s not the one who told him to kill the mayor person? OH MY GOD. HE EAVESDROPPED? And just- chose to kill- I’m!?? Oh my god

He’s unhinged, perfect

It took you… [checks time] 1 episode and 14 minutes to show us who you really are. “Smile and look pretty” wow. Wow wow wow. Oh man, is she even worse than he is?? Was the murder just a tantrum?? WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE

That ringing has to mean something. Whyyyy are you breaking your own knuckles, you absolutely MESS of a man

Oh shit. Oh shit, she told him that Deep said- oh shit. Well at least he might get what he deserves now - just not from the right person but ok :)

You are scared shitless, huh. So they do know that he’s fucking crazy, that’s great

Seriously, I thought I say fuck a lot, damn

They can’t kill him, that’s just great

“You had a crush on me” AS IF THAT GIVES YOU THE FUCKING RIGHT YOU PIECE OF- oh ok, starlight’s got her own back, that’s cool

Thought she was gonna kill him for a second there

Smuggling drugs in Homelander dolls, ok then. Was this- was this just a setup to look good? Ew

Who the fuck is this woman? I sense old tension. Yeah. Come on Susan, give the man what he needs. Come ooooon. Damn it

He did say it was far fetched, right??

DONT GO IN THERE HUGHIE FOR THE- oh you’re just completely an idiot. Unless you’re thinking of poisoning him or whatever, which would be good but more than you’d usually be able to think up by yourself. Sorry

Oh no oh no they’re so fucked

Holy shit, he did it, didn’t he? He found a way to poison that water, didn’t he? Oh my god whY WONT YOU TELL ME

Ok 1) wow that whole ‘my heroes’ thing is creepy and 2) BADASS ANNIE, but also you’re gonna get scolded for this, I just know it

Aaaand now i want a smoke, thanks a lot frenchie

Oh no, really? Are they gonna kill this guy too? OH MY GOD NO OKAY NO KILLING BUT J E S U S

Oh, is this the first time they speak alone? He.. damn, he sounds really lonely but I can’t get over that he’s basically crazy so… do I feel sorry for you- OH LORD OKAY STALKER NOPE

Just because you can look through walls, doesn’t mean you should, baby

Of course Hugh didn’t fix it, I had too high hopes

Oh man this lady is fucking crazy. What in the fucking- this entire show, holy shit. And he even tries to be chill but oh no, homophobia this a thing everywhere

God, don’t take it out on the poor girl, please… it’s too bad he has such a nice voice and knows how to say “please” so well

He- he put his- he put something up his ass

He put. A bomb. Up his ass

What. The fuck

“Savvy” oh no

Fuck. Homelander. They’re so fucked oh god oh no he’s free this cannot be good

Here’s what I know: I like Frechie, he’s gonna die

OH EW EW EW EW EW

heh. Cherry bomb. I get it

[theboombutton]

An excerpt from a Discord chat, slightly edited for readability

Button: Seriously though the whole paranoia arc? Jon turning his suspicion onto Elias because Elias came to have a talk with him when/because his subordinates complained about him? That would have been an excellent place to have an un-twist

Button: "Someone murdered Gertrude! The Archivist will get to the bottom of this!"

"Wow, the Archivist is being really paranoid and violating all of his employees' boundaries, that's not cool, he's going too far"

"Elias is using the Archivist's abuse of power as a reason to stand in the way of the Archivist investigating Gertrude's murder! That puts him at the top of the suspects list!"

Button: And in canon yep, Elias did it

Button: But it would be fun from a media-savvy and unreliable-narrator standpoint for it to turn out that no, Jon, you paranoid asshat, Elias is just trying to be a good fucking boss

Button: Actually that would be a fun fic AU

Button: Starting in season 2 Jon's paranoia goes genuinely off the rails and everything about the Institute after that is his increasingly delusional justification for his bad behavior

Button: Maybe instead of getting Not-Themmed, Sasha quit and got replaced by a different person named Sasha. Who then also quit. Because her boss was a fucking prick.

Button: Tim is barely around in season 3 because he transferred back to Research, and only comes back to the Archives to occasionally meet up with Martin for lunch.

Button: Leitner was just some homeless guy who had been living in the tunnels, and who had a nosebleed all over Jon's desk. Jon catastrophized it into "I'm being framed for MURDER" and went on the run for no reason.

michael did nothing wrong: slowly approaches you and takes away your jon

michael did nothing wrong: RUN

Button: lol, I'm not gonna actually write the fic probably

Button: It's just a sad AU where an underqualified overpromoted neurotic cracks under the pressure

Button: Oh god

Button: Martin is SO much webbier in that AU

Button: He hangs around, indulges the Archivist's paranoia, takes care of him physically but enables him psychologically

Button: With the idea that when Jon inevitably gets fired, he'll be next in line for the position. Seniormost remaining archival staff, actually has a library background, has proven he's willing to put up with so much bullshit to make sure the work gets done.

michael did nothing wrong: you and @fakecrfan are more evil than Alex

michael did nothing wrong: which is saying something

michael did nothing wrong: but like. don't stop <3

Button: oooo you're right I should yell at fakecrfan about this

[spaceorphan18]

Question, since I was not around during the time the show was airing. So I know Crisscolfer (is that what they’re called?) was huge, probably the biggest of the rl actor ships, but I also know that there were so many people that massively shipped Achele and Heya. So, if the crazy CC shippers caused Chris and Darren to distant themselves in public, why wasn’t it the same for Heya (and Achele)? Did Heather and Naya not have any reaction to the crazy invasive people? Did they just not care? Because even after the crazy shipping started, they were still so affectionate both publicly and over social media.

I’m just wondering why it went so far for Darren and Chris.

So, first of all, I don't know how Diana and Lea or Naya and Heather reacted to their fans shipping each other. I can't tell you how they acted. I know zero things about Diana and Lea. But with Naya and Heather, from what I can tell, seemed to mostly shrug it off. They are bffs, and liked to play that up a bit. I also think that neither of their significant others were as harassed as, perhaps, others (I'll get to that in a second.) I also think, at the end of the day, it didn't bother Heather or Naya to be seen as a couple.

I want to state, first, that these are my observations. I do not know Chris or Darren personally, and so this is only from my third party view point. So, please keep that in mind...

Chris and Darren have a lot of other, more complicated (?) things going on.

First, let's talk about Chris. I think sometimes what is forgotten is that he was a literal child coming into the industry from a very sheltered and conservative place. It can be quite shocking to see how fans react to things on a big scale, and for someone who is deeply private and, as I said in the earlier post, deeply individualistic -- being tied to his costar like that upset him a lot.

(There's also a part of Chris that likes to control things - and not being able to control his image, especially his sexual image, seems to be something that has been hard for him. He's seems to have come to terms with it -- but I think it took him a long, long time, especially with people tell him he'd never be any kind of sex symbol, to deal with the idea that people write sex stories about him and his likeness.)

Now - RPS has been a thing forever, and honestly, it used to be a thing that people didn't necessarily believe, they just enjoyed the fiction. I know there were blogs dedicated to CrissColfer that were just fun fic blogs. No one believed it. They just liked to read about it. And honestly, while it's not my cup of tea -- it's fine. The real people are not supposed to be a part of that.

The problem becomes when people a) believe that it's reality and b) cross the line and start effecting the actors' real lives. (As an aside -- this isn't a unique phenomenon -- this kind of stuff happens all the time, which is unfortunate, because it does ruin the experience for actors.)

I think what people might not know, or have forgotten, is that Chris shot to fame really, really quickly. And with that come the crazies. He had a literal stalker for years that we all knew about because she was pretty vocal on the forums and LJ. I know that one reason he moved from his first house is because a group of fans rented out the house behind him and spied on him. People do some really stupid shit when it comes to famous people. And, for someone who, again, is very deeply private and wanting control of his own voice -- this is a part of fame that Chris has been vocal about HATING.

So, when the whole CrissColfer thing started to get out of control sometime in season 4-ish, Chris shut down and out of social media almost completely. (I think there were other factors, too, such as Cory's death and feeling tired of being on the show.)

I think one thing that didn't help (though he's perfectly right to his privacy) is how closed off Chris became about his life. Take Heather and Naya -- they're (were) on social media all the time. Their lives were public enough that (while they showed you probably what you wanted to see or only what they wanted you to see) you, as a fan, feel like you are a part of their life. You aren't, in reality. (which is its own set of problems.) But it makes you feel connected. And Chris disconnected that connection. Which just made people speculate more.

I also think -- around the time he shut down was around the time he started dating Will. Chris is a savvy guy, and, if I had to guess, wanted to protect that relationship -- which we know is rather special, because they've been together for eight years. Do we know that much about Will? Not really. And I'm totally cool with that. Because that's their prerogative. And I respect that.

As an aside -- I have seen first hand some of the stuff they try to pull with Chris. I was a children's event (CHILDREN'S event) where grown women were in the first row, taking photos of his ass, and continued to do so even after he asked them to stop. (my god, I was embarrassed for them.) I don't blame him for shutting people out, because it's truly disheartening to see people act that way.

Meanwhile... Darren. Darren's pretty public about how he mostly thought the whole thing was funny. But was respectful enough to Chris (I'm pretty sure they had a long conversation(s) about how to be in public) to not get too into. But it didn't stop him from, like, mentioning his name while doing Hedwig. If Chris wasn't Chris but someone more open like Naya or Heather, I'm sure Darren wouldn't have minded playing it up a bit. Because I don't think he cares about what other people think about him the same way Chris does.

However, there is one thing Darren does care very much about -- and where he draws a line -- and that's Mia. Mia is his wife. And he loves her very, very deeply. That is a fact. Not my opinion. A fact. And since Darren is the more open of the two, the tinhatters seem to have latched onto Darren (and his sexuality) and this weird obsession that Mia is either bad for him or a beard or whatever.... And they've done some crazy shit.

Now, one of the cool things about Mia is that she's been able to take it (at least publicly) with stride. At the end of the day, she's well aware that she's going to go home and fuck him and you aren't and neither is Chris Colfer. And who really cares about the rest of it. She's also a rather strong woman who doesn't need Darren's defending. But I've seen videos of stuff thrown at Mia, which has been nasty, and Darren step up to defend her. Because that crosses his line. And they've been doing throwing this stuff at her for nearly ten years now.

It's tiresome. It's tiresome for me and I'm not Chris or Darren. So I don't blame either of them for being over it. And the easiest way to do that is to avoid each other. I don't know if that puts anything in perspective nonny, but at least you now know some of the history.

[vivithefolle]

I'm a bit confused. You said in one post that you thoroughly dislike Hermione and that you had no respect for her at all. Yet ... you like Romione? idk, it seems contradictory tbh. I like when Romione shippers acknowledge her flaws and messed up moments but when someone that dislike and even hate her character that much ships Romione and I see them posting about them and calling them "cute" just seems weird

I’ll share with you my whole thought process so you can understand where I’m coming from:

Itty-bitty Vivi who read Harry Potter for the first time (at 13/14, so not so itty-bitty I guess, oops): Woaaah Hermione and Ron yaay!!! They're awesome I love them! They're my OTP always and forever!! Best thing to happen in Harry Potter!! JKR is a genius!

Slightly less itty-bitty Vivi discovering the Harry Potter fandom online (thankfully years after the ship wars, else I probably wouldn't have survived): Why is there so much hate towards Ron? And why are people so opposed to Romione?? It was meant to be since the first book! Or, okay, the second book is when I realized it was gonna happen, but still! Oh well, here is a fic where Hermione berates Ron for everything and he is the only one actually working for their relationship. Cool, more Romione!

Even less itty-bitty Vivi starting her own Tumblr and going around, adding her grain of salt to debates and talking about stuff: Yeah! Ron is great! He's done bad things of course but Hermione has done her fair share of bad things too! Actually, now that I'm rereading the books, I'm reminded of this person I used to call a friend, who was quite smart and cultured but would often be very harsh to me because they claimed it was “for your own good" and “because I'm more mature than you"… I still wanted to be around them, because they were just so smart and passionate, but we often rowed and eventually they really just went too far and tried to make ME out to be the bad guy and most people believed them because they had a reputation as someone cool and logical while I was known for being emotional… wait, what the fuck, that's… that's exactly what happens in the fandom with Ron and Hermione! What the fuck, was I Ron? Admired their intelligence, praised and supported them, fell in love even but was met with scorn and open disdain?!… no, no, come on. Hermione wasn't that bad.

Vivi rereading Half-Blood Prince (and no, this wasn't about the canaries, but about what Hermione was doing after): Oh my god she was that bad.

Vivi as she ponders alternately: Wait, what about JK Rowling? What does she think about all that? What was her intention, what did she want to accomplish with the characters? I know books belong to their readers but if I want as objective an analysis as possible I must try to understand her thought process while she wrote.

Vivi learning about a staple of British literature called “literary alchemy”: The quarreling couple!! Sulfur and Mercury, the Red King and the White Queen, who must marry for the story to end happily!! And their union is represented by… a rose!! Oh my god, that is brilliant, that is so cool! Romione was ALWAYS going to happen, I knew it! Ha!

Vivi discovering the “[Ron] needed to make himself worthy of Hermione” quote: Wha… but… what? Worthy? As if Hermione was some sort of precious trophy or whatever? What the hell? Wait, Ron had to make himself worthy of her but Hermione didn't have to make herself worthy of him? Is it because Ron is the boy or some shit like that??

Vivi going through JK Rowling's interviews and finding sexism and double-standards galore: Yep, it's because he's the boy. And that bit about Hermione being based off herself when she was younger… ouch. And to top it off the scriptwriter pretty much worshipped Hermione…

Vivi rereading the books again: Is it just me, or does Ron hardly ever get any praise or acknowledgement from the adult characters? Meanwhile Harry and Hermione get stuff like “as good as Charlie Weasley" or “brightest witch of her age"! And, damn, I used to side with Hermione because I love cats, but she was completely awful in POA! She apologized but then the plot made her out to be right even then?? And I always thought her Yule Ball entrance was kinda over-the-top, but damn if that's not compensating for something! Also what the hell, I get that Harry is suffering and all but will someone PLEASE pay attention to the fact that Ron is being bullied BY A FOURTH OF THE STUDENT BODY AND NOBODY SEEMS EVEN REMOTELY CONCERNED????? Also what the hell is wrong with the sixth book, I never liked it much but it's like it's trying to make every character look bad, wtf?? And, and, holy shit I never noticed but Ron was asking legit questions during the Horcrux Hunt debate but Harry kept deflecting or mocking him but it's still Ron who had to apologize in the end??? And I've read a whole post about how Hermione punching Ron is the appropriate reaction for a very small child and not a supposedly “mature" character, and that Harry had to SHIELD RON FROM HER, oh my god?? It's… oh my god, what the fuck is wrong with JK Rowling?

Vivi, in denial: Well, Harry Potter is decidedly not a romance. It's about love, but romantic love is quite far down the priority list when it comes to it. JKR has herself confessed that she wasn't too good at writing romance, and I don't blame her because writing romance is hard. But I did enjoy Romione! When I was little I saw it coming from a mile away, granted I was already savvy in literature but that must have been because she was doing something right! And then the sixth book happened… the sixth book which… which was released after the Harry Potter movies were being filmed, wasn't it?

Vivi looking up the timelines: Oh my god. Oh my god it's even worse, the movies were being discussed before Goblet of Fire came out. Come to think of it, I always found that the Trio felt… different, after Prisoner of Azkaban. Harry and Ron especially felt like they had gotten dumber? And Hermione was suddenly explaining everything when exposition used to be split between her and Ron…

Vivi, in mourning: So that's what happened. Ron ended up being shortchanged to make Hermione look better, because Rowling was fonder of Hermione than she was of Ron, and the scriptwriter too come to think of it. Curse you, Steve Kloves!!!

Vivi, who is nothing if not what Pokémon fans call a nostalgiafag: But… but… yeah, it sucks that Ron was shortchanged, and actually yeah it's a freaking travesty and I WILL freaking spread the world about this, mark my words, but, but I still… I can't help it, when Hermione “looked up at Ron and her frostiness seemed to melt" I melt too. When Ron compliments Hermione or tries to take care of her as much as he can I… it still does something to me, I still find myself rooting for them even if I know there's the awful sixth book and the stupid post-Locket beatdown. Their kiss, for God's sake, I've just realized that Ron may have swept Hermione off her feet physically, but it's Hermione who jumped him, you could say Hermione metaphorically swept Ron off his feet!! God damn it, that's good, that's so good!

Vivi, at war with herself: No, I can't let myself be blinded by nostalgia!! The facts are that Hermione shows borderline abusive - even actually abusive - behaviour, this can't be denied! I don't want to root for an abusive relationship! I don't want to root for a relationship that relies on my favourite character being dumbed down to work!!!

Vivi, about to uncover the secrets of the universe: … wait a second. I don't have to.

Vivi, having an epiphany: Reading Solstice Muse's Romione fanfics gives me such happiness because she just gets the characters! She doesn't portray Hermione as perfect and never fucking up, and she always treats what happens to Ron with respect… Well, especially since she can't play them off as a joke since she often makes Ron the POV character. But, yeah! I can still like Romione… if it's well-written. Which, well, isn't the case in the original books… at least, isn't the case anymore after Rowling's bias got the best of her. Even though they do have their great moments.

Vivi, finding purpose in her life: I am going to spread awareness. I am going to tell the world. Fuck, just rereading the books, I've noticed how blatant the favouritism is and how unbalanced it can be. No wonder the fandom seems to collectively scoff at Ron - the books themselves do whenever it's convenient for them! The fandom plays favourites, because the author herself played favourites, and the worst part is that she didn't even realize it! Imagine you spend your life getting into traumatic situations out of love for your friends who always receive compassion and validation for their feelings about said traumas, but YOUR trauma is hardly touched upon and in the rare case it is, it's only to be mocked or used against you… Fuck! You're a piece of work, JKR! And the fandom just swallows it whole like a bunch of lobotomized snakes! Screw it! Screw it, I'm going to say it like it is, and I'm going to say it LOUDLY! People are going to hear about what Ron goes through and we'll see if Harry and Hermione look like the only ones worthy of therapy then!!

Present day Vivi, as she scrolls through the (heavily filtered) Romione tag on AO3: Ugh, another Drarry… and another… and another… oh, a Hinny-centric fic for a change, cool but I'm looking for more Romione than that, sorry. Gah, why is it that Romione appears as a secondary ship everywhere but they can't get their own stories? I've just seen a Snupin come up for God's sake! Oh, finally, a full Romione!! *clicks* … … … awww that was so sweet. Kudos! Okay back to the search… oh, another one!! *clicks* … … … it's Ron-bashing. It's Ron-bashing and it's not tagged Ron-bashing and that's why it showed up in my search AND I'M GOING TO FREAKING RIOT-

[thanksjro]

Dark Cybertron Chapter 5: the Issue that Made Me Stop Reading MTMTE for Three Years

So, Megatron’s still getting space-bridged in the torso. That’s still happening. Nova Prime and Galvatron are coming through the rift, as Shockwave, who seems to have lost most of the mass in his lower body, thanks Megatron for his service.

Robert Gill’s on art for this issue alongside Ramondelli, and this is basically the only place we’ll be getting a taste of his style. Let’s see what he’s bringing to the table.

JESUS CHRIST.

WHY DO YOU HAVE GUMS.

Nightmare Murder Death Ravage, the Decepticons, and the Autobots just broke into Shockwave’s underground lair, and are ready to kick some ass. Shockwave was expecting this to happen, because he is a very smart boy, and also apparently genre savvy. Soundwave tackles Shockwave to the ground, and gets insulted for his troubles.

Sir, your eye's been turned into a silver-dollar pancake.

Shockwave calls in Metalhawk to handle these goons who’ve broken into his domicile, and Metalhawk, who legitimately looks like he’d snap in half if the breeze blew the wrong way, gets to work. Bumblebee tries to reason with the man- ripping off his whole-ass face to reveal... his face... in the process- but it’s useless. Metalhawk is just too het up about politics.

Over in another part of the room, Ironhide and a couple of buddies are going to lay the smackdown on Nova Prime and Galvatron, who are still coming out of the space bridge. They’ve been at this for like ten minutes now. Ironhide starts trying to shove Nova Prime back through the bridge, punching him in the face as he does. Megatron, at this point, has lost his arms. They’ve simply disappeared from the scene at hand.

The art isn’t great this issue, if you couldn’t already tell.

While this is happening, Skywarp is busy messing with the medical equipment Megatron’s hooked up to, and losing his corporeal form, because that death wave from a couple issues back did, in fact, hit him a little.

This is the Rattrap issue, by the way.

Over with Arcee, it would seem as though we’ve given up on even pretending to give a shit about size continuity, as Rumble and Blitzwing are the same height now. These three are on a mission to grab some of the resurrection ore and bring it back to base for the wounded, which is nice of them.

Shockwave shoots Soundwave, then calls Waspinator over, as Skywarp sticks his little hands into the ore that’s growing out of the walls. This makes him better, I guess? Because it’s resurrection ore? Even though he’s not dead? Also, his mouth looks like it’s full of wood pulp, and I don’t like it.

Bumblebee is trying to make a breakthrough with Metalhawk, but there’s no time for that, as Shockwave’s up to some weird nonsense involving Nova Prime.

The same could be said of this entire comic event.

Waspinator meets up with Shockwave and hands him his “staff”. I use quotations because it super isn’t a staff, but that’s what it’s called in-issue. What it actually is… well, it looks like a gun with a stinger for a barrel. I know he had a gun that looks very similar in Beast Wars, and he whipped it out on the regular, but I guess it’s a staff now? A staff that isn’t even remotely a staff? TFWiki makes the claim that it’s his stinger, which makes way more sense, but I don’t know that I’d want to hand the rump roast portion of my own ass to the purple science gremlin, even if it did mean cool stuff was going to happen.

Look, I don’t know, okay? I think someone fucked up the script.

Shockwave pops off his gun hand and attaches the “staff”, claiming to know how to handle the Titan way better than Waspinator ever could, because he’s just that smart. Then the Titan comes to life and bursts through the ground. Ironhide, who is still straddling Megatron as he punches Nova Prime into submission, gets his shop wrecked by a giant fist.

Meanwhile, in the Dead Universe, we’re finally getting back to that whole Nightbeat thing. Everyone is very surprised to find him here, and sort-of, maybe alive? Dead Universe complicates things.

Back in Spotlight: Hardhead, Hardhead and Nightbeat went on an adventure together to Gorlam Prime, trying to figure out what the hell had happened to Nightbeat’s brain in Spotlight: Nightbeat, where he was brainwashed into being a sleeper agent for Nova Prime, who was still in the Dead Universe at the time, and are you beginning to see why I sort of just gave up on following the plot and stopped reading? You have to have read essentially all of Phase 1 for any of this to make sense. Between that and the art, I was just sort of over the whole thing.

Anyway, Hardhead had to shoot Nightbeat in the head after the dude got his… brain taken over. There were some little tiny guys involved, Jhiaxus was there, it was weird. Because Nightbeat died at the edge of a portal to the Dead Universe, it took his body and dragged him inside, both trapping him and keeping him alive.

Rodimus isn’t too keen on this turn of events, and Hardhead feels really awkward about the whole thing. Nightbeat seems to be taking being an off-brand zombie in stride though, as he immediately makes himself a nuisance to Cyclonus, by way of cold-reading the guy. Because he’s a detective, he’s pretty good at it.

Nightbeat, you fool! It’ll be another 22 issues before Cyclonus is ready to even acknowledge his feelings!

Orion Pax breaks it up before we can see what Cyclonus considers a good punishment for putting him through the ordeal of being known, and we finally get back on track.

Back on Cybertron, I guess there’s been a bit of a time skip, as Megatron is back on his feet and carrying Ironhide to safety. Also, his mouth has gone AWOL. He tries to ask Bumblebee what the plan is, only to be interrupted by Galvatron ripping him in half.

God, I wish you hadn’t found your mouth, Megatron. This is awful.

Galvatron throws Megatron on the ground, and things just keep getting better, because now the Titan’s up on its feet, and Shockwave just told it to go ham.

Back in the Dead Universe, things are getting complicated, and I don’t think we’ll be getting answers any time soon.

Oh, well, I’m glad Nightbeat is as lost on this whole thing as I am.

Hardhead wants to know what was up with all that cryptic bullshit Nightbeat was spouting off earlier, and Nightbeat reveals even more details about Cyclonus- his forcefield generator was damaged when they got to the Dead Universe, and now he’s infected with… I dunno, bad vibes, I guess. That’s why he got sick a couple issues back, and also why the Cyberwraiths ran away from him; the Dead Universe is assimilating him back into its fold.

Even though it’s been established to want literally everything inside it dead.

Though Cyclonus did spend six million years hanging out in the Dead Universe, so maybe it’s fine, actually.

You know, truth be told, I’m not sure exactly how it works, and neither does anyone else, it would seem.

Anyway, Nightbeat tells the fellas to hold tight while he goes to grab somethingaaaaand he’s trapped them in a magic box.

Ugh, whatever, Orion.

Turns out getting shot didn’t fix Nightbeat’s sleeper agent issue, and now the boys are going to pay for being so chatty.

And that’s a series wrap on Team -Imus! Let’s give ‘em a hand, folks!

At this point, Nova Prime reveals that he did, in fact, get shoved back through the space bridge, and is still in the Dead Universe. Sucks to be him, I guess.

...Man, this Rattrap issue was great! Loved the part where he was in it.

[gailynovelry]

WIP List Tag

Thanks to @albatris for the tag!

Rules: Share a list of the stories you’re currently working on, regardless of whether or not you have introduced them to writeblr before. I’m going to apologize to you beforehand because all of these are going to long. They are also queer. I do not apologize for that.

Heralds of Rhimn: A YA Dark Fantasy and my oldest project. The first book in the series is Shadow Herald;

“Few gods remain on the world of Rhimn, and the ones that do use special servants known as Heralds as pawns in the conflict between themselves. And not every Herald is happy with their role…

As Navaeli the Shadow Herald comes clashing with the dual threats of the Irongardhe knights and her own vengeful goddess, she finds romance in a handsome hooligan girl and friendship in a young feyrie thief — and with them, the courage to fight back against the injustices of her world.

But can Navaeli break free from the chains of her duty, or will she be the first casualty in the oncoming war between the gods?“

In essence, Navaeli is a dark messiah lesbian who Does Not Want To Be A Protagonist Please, Crislie is a love interest who decides to put her brawling problem to work protecting Navaeli, and Meparik is baby, but baby with many issues. In the time you’ve taken to read these character descriptions, he has probably already stolen your wallet.

The series as a whole involves some good wlw rapid-yearning-to-mutually-protective-girlfriends, REVOLUTION, a new take on fairies and a big ol’ middle-fingered subversion to the Oppressed Mage trope, and eventually some good ol’ fashioned god-killing.

The first book is going to come out May 20th this year! I have made a pretty cover for it, and also for the sequel! I am very proud of this!

Mindhive: A NA dystopia and the first project I’ve written where my characters are explicitly allowed to say “fuck.” They very much need to use this word, given the world I’ve built for them to inhabit.

“Dead-broke and dead-set on paying off his student loans before he’s forty, Nathaniel Emersin signed up as a paid test subject for ReGene, a genetics company with a mysterious new invention that they promise will change the world; the Worker Bee Implant.

But Nathaniel has one little secret that didn’t make it onto paper…

He’s also been hired by ReGene’s rival company, Future Body, to sabotage the trial and steal the mysterious new technology that ReGene’s been working on.”

Complications arise due to the presence of a very amicable security AI and the fact that Nathaniel gets attached to the two other lab rats he gets assigned to for the trial. And by “attached” I mean “develops mutual deep crushes on both Lucine and Avery, has a few cover-compromising panic attacks over it, and eventually reveals to them that he’s being hired to be a secret agent guy doing secret agent things.”

So he sort of decides to run away with his new girlfriend and datemate to an activist group who could a) remove the implant possibly and b) sue ReGene?

Needless to say, ReGene nor Future Body are happy with this turn of events, and decide that they should probably stop him before they experience consequences for the human experimentation and corporate sabotage.

Also, they take the AI with them. His name is Vertigo and he would like for someone to explain to him what a Vocaloid is.

Galactic Empress: This story is me indulging in my very specific need to write a royalty space opera political thriller. It is very high up on the Maslow’s chart of needs for me. It showed up one day and did not leave my brain.

“After the unresolved assassination of her mother, sweet but politically-savvy Princess Glissandrah Ayamarak — known better as Gliss — ascends to Galactic Empress earlier than she’d ever wanted to.

With her mother’s murderer still at large, Glissandrah turns to outsiders to protect her while she figures out just what game is being played in the Galactic Quorum. And it turns out that turning three hardened mercenaries into loyal royal bodyguards is harder than she first thought… but when anyone inside the Quorum could be after the crown, what other choice does she have?”

The hot and slightly controversial bodyguard team in question consists of Li-ah-li, a polite and slightly tired space furry, Yuukmi, a plantperson gunslinger with a space blaster in each of xer four hands, and Jennifer, a gruff human mercenary with a protective streak for her two alien comrades. This story is also polyamorous!

The Ghosts of Grimmigkeit Manor: I literally started working on this one again yesterday; it’s a reworking of a VERY old fully-OC pokemon fanfiction I wrote when I was fourteen, which has been subsequently lost to time. The genre is uhhhhhh paranormal shenanigans with semi-mystery vibes and a strong dose of snark. Probably NA.

The story follows three protagonists. Firstly is Eustace, a coroner who is doing a terrible job of divorcing himself from his family’s slightly goth business and reputation. Secondly is his triplet sister Alison, who is currently being The Responsible One running the family business of selling funeral caskets and who maybe should stop breaking the maids’ hearts in her free time. Thirdly is Dirk, the other triplet, who looks up to Eustace quite a bit and would really like it if his siblings got along more and maybe relaxed enough to let him leave the manor to go to college?

Anyway, during Eustace’s yearly Christmas visit to the family manor, it turns out that Eustace and Dirk can both see ghosts! This phases Eustace significantly more than Dirk, since Dirk has schizophrenia and didn’t realize at first that the ghosts were separate from his usual hallucinations.

The story at large involves family secrets, intimidating and quirky relatives, a murder that happened a quarter of a century ago, and this one really terrible ghost who needs to STOP MAKING THE WALLS BLEED BLOOD and who maybe is the triplets’ father. They have to figure out how to yeet him into the afterlife so that he stops causing problems.

Also, a different and more chill ghost owes Uncle Freddie money.

Misc: I have a dozen other ideas that I float around but Deliberately Wait To Work On because my stories are stews and they need some time to simmer in the crock pot that is my brain. Among these are a mermaid/selkie wlw romance, a mlm post-apoc ??? story, and various wlw Eragon ripoffs where there’s dragons being ridden and cool things happening.