#also fun fact but the title was a placeholder but then it stuck and i couldnt think of a better one ghfjkdg

[goldieclaws]

Finally brave enough to share the latest book I've been working on since June of last year!

Camellia Torazenne, the sole heir of her family's grand university and impressive fleet, has always been expected to meet her grandfather's impossibly high demands, as well as having to listen to his many derogatory insults. Once a promising young witch, she now struggles greatly with what he wants of her; no longer able to willingly perform even the most basic spell. Frustrated and now desperate more than ever to gain even some semblance of approval from him after a disastrous expedition, she accepts the help of a strange creature that lives deep below the earth within an isolated chamber; hoping beyond all else it can finally give her what she always wanted.

Saturn's Vow is a Fantasy-Romance novella set in an already existing universe, but can be experienced as a standalone story.

A few of its main features are: 29k words spread over 11 chapters; HumanxMonster relationship; a female protagonist and genderless, it/its-using deuteragonist; some mystery/horror elements, all set in a high fantasy setting!

You can read chapter one & two for free and the rest of the book is available digitally for 4.99 USD. Please consider checking it out when you can! I worked very hard on this project (and will update it soon enough with full-page illustrations at the end of each chapter!) :>

Reblogs appreciated, thank you! 💖✨

Patreon | Tw//tter | AO3 | Itchio | Commissions | Webcomic

[fluffypotatey]

hey u know how mk only calls wukong by his title and never his name? and how wukong rarely if ever calls mk "mk," instead usually opting for "kid" or "bud?" and how both of those things are kind of representative of their relationship and how both of them care about each other a lot but they aren't honest with each other or with themselves about the other and how neither of them really wants to confront the fact that the other is a person with flaws and struggles? haha yeah <- normal <- lying about being normal

be glad i have been released from class now :) [narrator: she would later find herself late to her 2nd class while writing this]

so happy you have given me this excuse to talk about— i mean, yes! it is super normal to be thinking about this all the time and be comsumed by it and let me explain why:

i will start by going off on a tangent about names and labels and their narratove importance in stories because i love them and have a problem. (idk the word count here. viewer discretion is advized. i just wrote. it is long. beware)

In the Case of Names: a Sunburst Duo Essay

by Yours Truly <3

In the Case of Names in LMK: a Summary (please for the love of pete be a summary)

Ok, so, let me give y'all a quick overview (i failed. this is you're only warning. i failed, and this became a monster of an essay. run while you still have the chan—) of names in the literary sense. When studying novels and books and shit in your literature classes, you will notice that your professor might discuss the importance or ill-importance of characters' names in the story. For example: in the classic novel Fahrenheit 451, the protagonist's name is fucking Guy Montage to illustrate how he's just some fucking guy, a John Doe, a man stuck and complicit in the dystopian world.

You get me? No? Sorry, you want more examples? Fine then :3 let me introduce you to a story called Hard Times by Charles Dickens. It is an allegorical novel that criticized the utilitarian movement going on in dear old Great Britain in the 19th century thanks to the Industrial Revolution. Some fun characters were Johannes Bounderby and Thomas Gradgrind. Tell me, what images did you imagine when I gave you those names? Did you think of a bouncing ball for Bounderby? Were you imagining something square or maybe a mechanical grinder for Mr. Gradgrind?

Remarkable isn't it. The way choosing a name has on a reader/audience's perception of the character. Names are not just placeholders for a character. Names are the identity of that character. Names can establish their starting arc or their ending. Names can be visual in the sense that they invoke a strong idea of what a character might resemble or what themes they will present the audience with. Removing a character's name also removes their identity.

Remember that.

Anyway, I have talked enough about names in the general literary sense. Let us move on to LMK.

Given that this show is based off of Journey to the West (JTTW), many of the names of the antagonist are already provided, and their English translation is pretty literal (Demon Bull King, Lady Bone Demon, Red Son) with some exceptions (Jing & Yin, the Gold and Silver Demons), but their names all provide a description of what they are and how they should be viewed. Spider Queen is a spider demon and views herself as queen. Pretty solid characterization there. Lady Bone Demon, she's a bone demon and has enough rank to be considered a lady (or that could just be to ID that she is a woman but eh). Princess Iron Fan: she's a celestial princess and wields an iron fan. Got it? Good. These examples are simply here to show that a majority of the JTTW antagonists are still fulfilling their roles as antagonistic characters. What I mean is this: since "A Hero is Born," MK has been fighting against the Monkey King's old enemies from the JTTW book. It's like the moment MK inserted himself into the role of successor, the antagonist themselves were inserted to redo their old role of fighting the "Monkey King." It's almost as if nothing has changed beside the fact that their new op enemy is a "human" wielding the legendary staff.

[hmmmm, wait i actually never put this into words until now and it's fitting very well with the whole "MK's fight against Fate/the Narrative" but we'll just put a pin in that.]

However, when it comes to MK's friends (Pigsy, Tang, Sandy, Mei), they all share different names from their reincarnated/ancestral counterparts (Zhu Bajie, Tang Sangzang (they just give Tripitaka a last name lol), Sha Wujing, and Ao Lie). Their identity is separate, distinctive from who they are meant to reflect to the audience. (But look at how Tang still shares the same 1st name to the blessed monk, see how he's the one whose powers are the most similar, see how he being pulled into the direction of emulating the monk, see how much Tang fights it, see—)

Fascinating huh? But let us move on before I forget myself.

In the Case of MK's Names: a Paragraph (DO NOT, i repeat, DO NOT GO OFF THE RAILS)

So, in the English version, there is a running gag about how MK's "real" name is long and complicated, and we don't actually know it. All we know is that MK switched it long before the pilot. And even before MK has that talk with Master Subodhi in s4ep7 (or 6? 8?), I would chuckle at how on the nose his name was. MK the Monkie Kid... how silly of the show writers....ahaha, what a funny little decision to make :)

Do we know why MK changed his name? Other than his original one being long, no. Do we know why MK specifically? We don't know. Maybe, in his fanboy brain for all things Monkey King, MK thought it would be cool to have a name that identified close to his idol. A name that identified with someone he wished to emulate and be as powerful as and felt so connected to. But what do I know? I am a mere local gal who feeds off of metas and theories and all things relating to my beloved sunburst duo.

Then, we have MK's many titles: Monkie Kid (IDs him as the new generations Monkey), Successor (IDs him as the one who will succeed Sun Wukong in both the title of Monkey King and power), Noodle Boy (pronounced "New-dle Boi and IDs as the boy who works in his surrogate/adopted dad's noodle shop), Delivery Boy (his actual job for the noodle shop), and last but not least, Harbinger of Chaos.

What makes a harbinger? What is chaos? What are their intentions? Are they good? Bad? Neutral?

So, I've already defined harbinger before and many others have as well, but to sum up: a harbinger is a being/person/thing that announced the coming of something be it good or bad but most of the time the focus is bad. A "Harbinger of Chaos" then, would be the one to announce the coming of Chaos™️ and the disruption of world order. Is this a bad thing? Well, the show presents it at the moment as so, but that doesn't mean it will be. Honestly, the show has shown order and fixed structures more in a bad light and promotes free will and choosing a destiny that fits you as the good thing 👀 (another thing to pin in the MK might to go war with Fate)

But now I have established MK's names and must shut up and move on before I no longer can.

In the Case of Sun Wukong's Names: some Paragraphs (STAY ON TARGET PLEASE)

I will admit that my knowledge of names in China is very low, and by low, I mean I know nothing (most of what I do know comes from asking friends and informational sites). So, let me begin this segment with an excerpt of Sun Wukong gaining his name from the book itself :) and break it down with my interpretation and how that is applied to LMK.

When the Patriarch heard this, he was secretly pleased, and said, “Well, evidently you have been created by Heaven and Earth. Get up and show me how you walk.” Snapping erect, the Monkey King scurried around a couple of times. The Patriarch laughed and said, “Though your features are not the most attractive, you do resemble a pignolia-eating monkey (husun). This gives me the idea of taking a surname for you from your appearance. I intended to call you by the name Hu. If I drop the animal radical from this word, what’s left is a compound made up of the two characters, gu and yue. Gu means aged and yue means female, but an aged female cannot reproduce. Therefore, it is better to give you the surname of Sun. If I drop the animal radical from this word, what we have left is the compound of zi and xi. Zi means a boy and xi means a baby, and that name exactly accords with the fundamental Doctrine of the Baby Boy. So your surname will be ‘Sun.’” When the Monkey King heard this, he was filled with delight. “Splendid! Splendid!” he cried, kowtowing, “At last I know my surname. May the master be even more gracious! Since I have received the surname, let me be given also a personal name..." ..."You will hence be given the religious name ‘Wake-to-the-Void’ (wukong). All right?” “Splendid! Splendid!” said the Monkey King, laughing. “Henceforth I shall be called Sun Wukong.”

What a fucking cutie <3

So, what can we gather from this excerpt? Sun Wukong just gained his official name. No longer is he a monkey with descriptive titles, no longer is he a monkey without a surname to be referred to as and respected for. He now has both a surname and a personal name. And while I don't fully understand everything Master Subodi listed when naming Sun Wukong, it is important to note the importance of it and how happy Wukong is to receiving it.

Before this, the book would simply refer to Wukong as Shihou (stone monkey) or the Handsome Monkey King. Both of these are descriptive titles that just inform you what Wukong is rather than who, just like with the other demons met in JTTW. But now, we get to know him as Sun Wukong, someone more than his titles and such. There's even an explanation in the preface how Wukong's own personal name has significant meaning or relation to Buddhism, but I won't get too much into that since my knowledge is of that is 0 and I want to try and stick to LMK.

Now then, let us examine Wukong's name in the LMK sense. Literally everyone in the show call him either Monkey King or "simian" (and if he really pissed them off, Sun Wukong). The only people to refer to Wukong by his personal name is Nezha, Macaque, and Peng. It is literally just these three. And while we could argue all say it like "Wukong (derogatory)," I believe Peng's the only one who means it. Meaning, I think Macaque says Wukong because he was the closest friend of SWK, thus that's the only name Macaque would ever call him (sure, he said Monkey King and shit in s1 but that was when he was duping MK soooooooo). Nezha calls him Wukong because after the whole Havoc in Heaven and journey stuff, he is the new oldest member to befriend Wukong and not be enemies with him (yes, he will get annoyed and aggravated by him, and he will not always believe Wukong's intentions are great, but he still cares and is his 2nd closests living friend).

Peng, on the other hand, does not give a shit. I fully believe that guy never cared for Wukong. They only joined the brotherhood because of Azure (they even offered for Azure to be the brotherhood's leader). I do not think Peng cares for formalities when it comes to people they dislike. We could argue that maybe Peng cared for Wukong in the beginning, but I do, honestly, not believe it. The only reason Peng even felt betrayed was because it messed up Azure's plan. Not because the two were sworn brothers.

But yeah, very few characters actually call Sun Wukong by his name, and when they do, it establishes not just how close they are/were, but also how long they've known each other. It's the same thing with how Wukong refers to others. He barely calls Pigsy, Tang, and Sandy by their names. He will give people nicknames and shit just to place a safe distance from them because of his own very unhealthy attachment issues.

In the Case of MK and SWK's Names for Each Other: the Actual Sunburst Duo Essay (you are free now.....)

Speaking of attachment issues, let's talk about the Sunburst Duo and how much these two need to sit down and talk.

So, we have discussed how names are integral to identifying a character's purpose, thematic journey, description. We have discussed how a person's title can clue in on certain characterization, present or future, and how they demonstrate the way others view them. Now let us apply this to our beloved sunburst duo.

As mentioned in your ask, @gumy-shark, both MK and Sun Wukong barely call each other by name (MK never has as far as I am aware, and SWK has done so only a few). It's "Monkey King" from MK and "kid," "bud," "buddy" from SWK. Rarely do the two ever think to say each other's name.

In the beginning, I originally thought MK only calls Wukong "Monkey King" as a way to be respectful, and with Wukong, I assumed he called MK "kid" simply because MK was very young to him. However, as we get into s3, and especially s4, MK and Wukong have grown a lot closer. Neither of them see each other as just a mentor or student but as friends. And yet, they cannot seem to stop calling each other by their title or nickname.

Thus, the distance is still there. S3 ends with Wukong promising to do better as a mentor and be more honest with MK, and we do seem him attempt this. He gives out more praises, he's more open about his feelings and then gets sucked into the memory scroll. But here's the kicker: the two are doing a reverse in their dynamic.

When it starts out, it is Monkey King who establishes the line between the two. He will simply be MK's mentor and teach him all the kid has to know in order to succeed him. MK is ecstatic to even be near SWK. This is his idol, the guy he's had a special interest in for years probably. He now gets to train under the Monkey King. He wants to do good. He wants to kickass. He wants to be just like him.

But as the story goes on, we see SWK open up to MK more and care for him deeply and want to protect him, and we see MK uncover the skeletons in SWK's closet and feel so alone and learn that the power he used to wish for is not what he expected. And in the aftermath of s3, it is now SWK who is opening up and trying to help kindle and safely guide their friendship in a healthier path(ish). It is SWK who is placing his own protege on a pedestal because "loook at him! isn't he so great and powerful! he will help this world a lot more than i did". It is SWK who is disregarding th original rules he placed. But now ,it is MK who is keeping the distance more than SWK. It is MK is trying to force some kind of distance. He feels like he shouldn't burden SWK with his doubts and worries. He is terrified of his own powers and their capabilities and worries his actions will make the same mistake as his mentor.

With s3 and s4, SWK has called MK by name quite a few times. Especially in s4. It's not a lot, but it's definitely more than before. And yet, MK cannot call Wukong by name. Personally, I think he might still feel like he's under Wukong's shadow. As his successor, there is a legacy that he will carry when Wukong actually retires and gives his title to MK (which is what I assume Wukong will do??? It is still unclear what exactly MK's succeeding SWK of). And that legacy is quite the burden. I would not be surprised that MK is unable to place himself as being worthy of taking Wukong's place just yet (if ever).

This guy was his idol for a long time. And with that, you tend to place a high pedestal for those people. MK has given Wukong such a high pedestal, and Wukong is very aware of it. It's why the guy even keeps his distance in the first place, and why he's scared to disappoint him. But, MK has learned so much, has been told of the tales and pain his mentor inflicted on others in the past (a past SWK greatly regrets), and yet cannot find it in himself to lower that pedestal or even allow himself to think about it. Because if he does, then he will have to acknowledge his own pain and his own disappointment in someone he not only admires but has come to love like family. And it is very hard to reckon with the hurt and pain caused by someone you consider family.

So yeah, they are silly monkeys who cannot communicate to save their life and need to just sit down and talk or else this will continue to boil and explode and we'll have a SWK and MK showdown (fuck yeah! i will be crying so hard).

[end of essay]

[i-can-even-burn-salad]

Happy Storyteller Saturday!

I’m curious, do any of your WIPs have a second, perhaps silly ‘title’ you use among your friends or in your notes? A placeholder title that stuck? Something that someone’s suggested and it became an injoke?

(To give you an idea, Gifts of Fate is referred to as ‘Premath’ by two of my friends)

Thank you for the ask!

*ponders*

I do sometimes abbreviate them, but other than that, no. I mean. Fancy Boots isn't exactly a serious title in the first place, best I got.

Glass Shards had the working title "Together Complete" back in the day, after the lyrics of the song I listened to nonstop while writing. Twisted Thorns was named "Dark" because it was the first word of the first draft and I needed to save the file 🤣 and it was "The Shining Light" first time I published it (also after a song). The only one of those song titles still around is "Heal my Wounds", which I would have loved to rename, but I couldn't find anything better in the 3 weeks before I started posting, and just gave up.

Fun fact: I have a character who we all call "Bren" but he's (almost) never called that in the written story. Only one person, once, calls him that. He's Breannan otherwise.

[nekropsii]

how did you come up with names for your fantrolls?

Fun Fact: I actually named most of the characters in Sovereignstuck!

I’ll put a list under the cut! Some of them get a little complicated, while others are a bit more… Straightforward.

Content Warning: Long, Lots of Name Etymology.

(If you don’t recognize a word or reference, I recommend just hitting up Google!)

CYNICAL ITINERANT: Incredibly literal. Since he’s a carapacian, his name is just a title that describes who he is as a person. The nickname Tintin, however, is a very unsubtle reference to The Adventures of Tintin.

TEJURI KROMAB: “Tejuri” is based on “Tejat,” a star in the Gemini constellation, and “Dioscuri,” the collective name of Castor and Pollux, the twins that comprise Gemini. “Kromab,” however, is just an alien spelling of a shortening for “chromatic aberration,” referencing her status as a psionic. It was originally a placeholder surname. It stuck.

DYNAMA ZARROW: Not many intricate moving parts to this one, which is ironic. “Dynama” is derived from “dynamic,” while “Zarrow” is quite literally just ripped from “the Zarrow Shuffle.”

PRESAE COVNUL: Another straightforward one- first name based on the word “presage,” while her surname is based on the words “coven” and “null.”

PARDUS RUBATO: “Pardus” is taken from the taxonomic classification for a leopard- being “Panthera Pardus.” Her surname, “Rubato,” is derived from the musical term “tempo rubato,” essentially meaning to play with little regard to exact pacing. Very Timebound!

RETRIS MORAGE: Here’s a long one. The most obvious inspirations here are “Tetris” and “Mirage,” considering it’s one letter off from both. Put together, it’s a reference to the Tetris Effect. The “Ret-” part of his first name is also taken from the prefix “Retro.” This has several uses. (His name is actually severely ironic and deliberate, but I can’t get too far into that without spoiling... Like, 12 different things. Don’t think about this too hard.)

AJAX BARRETT: His name was chosen due to it sounding exactly how we’d imagine an edgy kid with a fixation on shitty action films and post apocalyptic media would name himself. The meaning is intentional, though. His first name, “Ajax,” was inspired by the mythological figure “Ajax the Great.” “Barrett,” however, means “strife.” Rage-y. Very Rage-y.

EMERIC SARGAS: Derived from the male name “Emmerich,” of which has quite an interesting meaning, and the term “emetic.” Her surname is, letter for letter, the name of a star in the Scorpio constellation- which is one of the brightest stars in the sky.

KAUSAT STOLAR: Their first name is derived from “Kaus Australis,” which is a star system in the Sagittarius constellation, and “Rukbat-” for the last two letters- which is of similar origin. It’s rather close to the given name “Kausar,” which has meanings very tied into the Life aspect, in my opinion. “Stolar” translates to “joiner,” which has two meanings. Both are important to him. :)

TOMIEI AERRAS: Her first name is another extremely unsubtle reference, this time to Junji Ito’s horror short story collection called, well, “Tomie.” “Aerras” comes from “Aer,” and “Aether,” the Greek god of air, and the personification of the upper sky, respectively.

ANNOMI ERRATA: Extremely straightforward, and admittedly a bit mean. First name is based on the concept of “anomie,” while having a slightly similar pronunciation to “enemy.” Surname is, letter for letter, the plural form of “erratum.”

PLEOME ALRIUM: Here’s a weird one. His first name is derived from “pleochroism,” for the first four letters, and “acme,” for the final two. His surname comes from “Alrescha,” a main star in the Pisces constellation, and “Piscium,” which is… the name of the Pisces constellation. It’s a bit redundant, but it’s quite fun to say.

[devotionthatcorrupts]

ok so you sent me an ask about my tags, but i've always loved yours!!! i like it when people have tags that are poetic or songs or references or inside jokes. how did you choose the ones you use? they all seem related but if there's a story, i'd love to hear it!

I'm so happy to hear that I put so much effort into having a coherent tagging system on here it makes me delighted when people like them. They actually are all unrelated source wise but they are all themed around what I think the character/relationships central thesis is. these are going to be long so I'm going to put it under a read more.

knighthood as religion is dean's tag because I believe his core narrative is centered around being both raised and personally devoted to the idea of being a protector and shield for people but in particular sam in a way that goes beyond duty and exists as a devout calling. without that he lacks purpose and ambition (even though he doesn't but the fact that he actively chooses not to pursue anything outside of this adds to the religious sacrifice inmho) protecting sam, and through assocation, sam himself are his deities creating a very specific moral code that he operates under that only he understands and holds himself too. it's both a critique of his character and what I see as a personal tragedy as john raised him this way and he never really had a choice or an option to exist any other way - the fact that he embraces it is almost a non-existent point because he was created to be duty bound and dies duty bound in a way that he revels and finds peace in because he's always known that was his fate.

the devil that was is sam's tag because his identity is created on being lucifer's vessel despite the fact that his personality and nobility is the antithesis of it. his early narratives are wrapped around him struggling to work against this nature and briefly, embracing it as a means to an end but then ultimately rejecting his function and form and becoming himself again even if it is at a high cost that he never full recovers from. sam is actively choosing to not be what he was created for and so "the devil that was" is this idea that he both was, is, and isn't demonic and in way, that's the only act of agency he's allowed to consistently keep throughout the series. he doesn't own his life, body, purpose, direction, or connections but he did prevent himself from being the vessel of lucifier and I think that's central to the way that I understand and appreciate his character.

two people shorten a road comes from the irish term bóthar with that being it's literal translation as a means of saying "company makes the journey pass more quickly" and that companionship makes life better. I don't use that tag for them anymore because what I like about their relationship has changed but I still think it's a good tag. my brother tag at the moment is just the winchester brothers as placeholder until I find something new. the road leads nowhere is somewhat connected to two people shorten a road and it's my thesis of the show tag about how the entire story is about the fact that they are falling a pre-destined plan (both within and outside of the meta) that their journey is ultimately meaningless and that they revel and seek out that meaninglessness because the road itself is the only home they've known and they have never sought out, or settled at a destination. it's both a jab at the show's insane, convoluted narrative and a mythical commentary on their purpose.

I wait for you at roadside mass is my sastiel tag which I don't use as much anymore because my interest in the ship has waned as I've focused almost exclusively on s1-5 but it's the idea that sam is religiously devout and cas is both a representation of the divine, proof of the divine, and also a vessel for divine love. sam is always traveling and since he grew up in a family that wasn't interested in religion he has no concept of a stationary church or house of worship and so cas in many ways embodies that for him. cas is his holy house and he waits for him by the roadside for him to hear his prayer and create space and connection to the divine.

childhood is a kingdom where nobody dies is my pre-series tag and a edna st. vincent poem (my url is also from an edna st. vincent poem she is a very important poet to me) about the transition from childhood to adulthood and ultimately, the departure for it in a way that feels very appropriate for the winchesters. it's also a play on irony, as their childhood was filled with death and also a bi-product of the death of their mother but also they did not die, and their father did not die and in a way they learned to accept that as long as that didn't happen death lacked permanence.

love is where the knife goes in is my samruby tag and it's just about their jesus/judas relationship just the foundation of what it's like to love your own betrayer, knowing that they plan on wounding you and wincing when it goes in anyway even if you are waiting to hurt them in term and how if you experience that enough you start associating love with wounding, that even the wound itself become a deceleration of affection in its own way.

the motherless oven is my winchester family tag and it's from the title of a graphic novel from the same name that has no relation to supernatural but the phrase has always stuck with me and i feel like it embodies the family well. they are a hot-tempered, relentless family that are all trapped within each other and because of each other and all mourn and represent the absence of mary in their lives. they are both their own tomb and also entombed within their romanticization and martyrdom of mary.

and those are all of my active tags! I still want tags for ruby, john, both of the boys in relation to their father because each of them have a fascinating relationship with him, cas, and maybe the winchesters + cas because that is an engaging dynamic as well. I do not like deancas and don't blog about it but I probably would come up with a fun tag for it if creativity struck me.

thank you again for asking!!! this was so much fun to type out. I've been wanting to write out something like this for awhile because I have put a lot of thought into each tag.

[jupitermelichios]

fic titles meme

I wasn’t tagged by @morethanonepage​ but I’m doing it anyway.

Look at the most recent 20 (or however many!) fanwork titles on your AO3 account and answer the questions below.

Highschool Never Ends

A Brief History of Gotham City

Together

The Anatomy of a Robin

Serial Fiction

Leprechaun

Mechanic

Halogen

Popsicle

What did the fox say?

Known Me Better

Of Stray Cats & Sharp Suits

Human, Or Something Like It

The Narrow Edge

Pretty Boy

The Light That’s Coming In The Morning

Insert Hell Pun Here

Two Things In Life

The Gaslight Saga

Three Droids Walk Into A Bar

1. How many are you happy with?

I’d say most of them, honestly. Human or something like it I’m genuinely proud of, and the Gaslight Saga still makes me snicker (it’s a batfam twilight au notfic, so the awful pun is definitely the right tone).

2. How many are…not great?

6-9 were written for an event, and I made a concious choice that they would have one-word titles that I wouldn’t think about too hard, because picking titles is really hard and I wanted to get them up as quickly as possible, so they’re not good but I don’t feel too bad about it. What Did The Fox Say is an objectively terrible title, but at the same time I feel like it fits the tone of the fic pretty well.

3. How many did you scramble for at the last minute?

Most of them, honestly. Pretty Boy got named literally as I was uploading it, because titles are hard. Highchool Never Ends I didn’t decide on until pretty much the upload stage, but honestly, it was never going to be called anything else. Insert Hell Pun Here was supposed to have an actual name, but I wrote it as part of the@wipbigbang ​ and they put the placeholder title on the artist sign-up sheet and it just kind of stuck. I even ended up working a reference to it into the fic itself.

4. How many did you know before you started writing/creating, or near the beginning?

Human or Something Like It was named fairly early in the writing process, as was A Brief History of Gotham (although that doesn’t really count because it is in fact just a brief history of gotham, so it’s not so much a name as it is a description). Generally I don’t have titles until very near the end of the process, although I’m working on two unposted WIPs which have actual titles at the moment which exciting.

5. How many are quotes from songs or poems?

Just the three; The Light That’s Coming In The Morning comes from the folk song Sing John Ball, and I still to this day don’t know why it feels appropriate for that fic, but it does. Highschool Never Ends and What Did The Fox Say are both pretty obvious!

6. How many are other quotes?

The Narrow Edge comes from a Cicero quote (”so near is truth to falsehood that a wise man would do well not to trust himself on the narrow edge”) because in as much as there’s a theme at all to it, the theme is false presentation of the self.

Know Me Better is from the Voyage of the Dawntreader, it’s Aslan talking about Jesus, because the fic is about the Pevensie children finding their faith(s) in the real world.

Two Things In Life is from the famous quote “there are two things in life that are inevitable, death and taxes”, but it’s kind of a riff on it because it’s a crackfic about the Malfoy family getting tv liscence fee demands, which as any british person will tell you are far more inescapable and ubiquitous than mere death.

And finally the anatomy of a robin is a misquote but I haven’t been able to work out which of the many books called ‘the anatomy of a ...’ was the original. Possibly it was the anatomy of a murder?

7. Which best reflects the plot of the story/content of the fanwork?

I mean ‘a brief history of gotham city’ is about as on the nose as you can get. Aside from that it’s probably ‘human or something like it’, because it’s a story about a cyborg and a deeply damaged teenager talking about what it means to be a person.

8. Which best reflects the theme of the story?

Despite the fact that I was deliberately going for the easy pickings, title wise, I have a real soft spot for ‘Hallogen’, because I think the simplicity of the title reflects the starkness of the fic. Anatomy of a Robin is pretty good thematically, since the fic is all about what Robin means to Dick, and all the ways that’s different from what Batman and Nightwing mean. The Narrow Edge and Human or Something Like It I’ve talked about already.

Pretty Boy doesn’t relfect the themes of the story but I kind of like that about it, because it’s a title that seems like it tells you exactly what you’re getting, and then you open the fic and find it’s actually a lot of talking and character work mixed in with all the fucking and that’s not really what you ordered, which is pretty much how Midnighter’s feeling about his role in the story and I like that parrallel.

9. Which best reflects the character voice of the story/pov of the fanwork?

Human or something like it is a title Tim Drake would definitely approve of, and Insert Hell Pun Here is actually said by one of the characters (I think it’s Xander but I actually can’t remember) so I guess that reflects the voice pretty well!

10. Which is your favourite title?

Oh gods that’s a hard one. Um, honestly? Probably the Gaslight Saga. It’s such a stupid pun and I’m genuinely proud of it. After that it’s probably Anatomy of a Robin. Probably my favourite fic title I’ve ever written predates this list, and it’s ‘things lost to the fire’ which is a weird nothing of a fic about Cap & Widow wrestling with the legacy of WWII which I’m genuinely proud of. I think what I’ve learned today is that I like my fic titles stark and kind of depressing.

I’m tagging @irolltwenties @starcityrebels @gealach-in-a-misty-world @kittyaugust @kiseiakhun

I’m really bad at remembering which of my tumblr mutuals are also people I follow on AO3 unless the username is the exact same, so if any writers see this and think it would be fun consider yourselves tagged!

[soysaurus]

exposing wip titles tag game (i wrote 'help' instead of 'game' the first time by accident but still...same)

i was tagged by @my-head-is-underwater !! thanks :D their wip titles are so funny yall blease skjbdfkd

ok! onto rules!

Rules: Post the file names of all the files in your wip folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous the name. Send me an ask with the title that intrigues you the most and I’ll post a little snippet or tell you something about it! Tag as many people as you have wips!

i'm not tagging as many people as i have wips bc we will be here all day and i highkey don't want to bother that many people lmao (rip to those that i am bothering tho :P)

anw @cheren-chan @lionalicelives @ohmoka @vhaenya @plagueofskeletons @gf0 (sorry if u aren't zero. i think you are zero tho. i've spent too long stupidly debating abt this in my head kJBDSKJFGBDF) @butterfly-apocalypse @hopeforyesterday

ofc, this is only if you want to! (sorry if you've been tagged before!) and anyone else who i haven't tagged feel free to do as well hehe. i'm going to put my wip titles under the cut so this post isn't a million years long lol

tumblr keeps breaking as i try to write this post so. [fingers crossed] let's start! feel free to laugh at any and all cringe wip titles—my thoughts will be in square brackets! (me after writing all the doc titles: these are more...put-together than i thought they were)

categories: bnha bsd jjk original stuff

bnha:

1. nonsensical plot points 2. trip through the cracks in our wall 3. watch the stars misalign 4. a big, blue sky 5. all your love (i'm out of luck) 6. angry touya??? 7. behind the stage lights 8. but then rapunzel chaos furry gang arrived 9. Copy of in the 5am light 10. dreamers 11. ew, your music taste... 12. get loose, streetfighter (tear it up) 13. GotG: BNHA Edition [my god...this is so old...back from when i actually used capitalisation in fic titles....] 14. i wanna ruin our friendship (we should be lovers instead) [we all know which song this placeholder title was inspired by] 15. in the 5am light 16. in the bathtub, head full of lavender and ash 17. lately, you've been on my mind 18. league of getting banned from the library 19. marshmallow candle lights 20. natshig w a painful side of dabihawks pining (well, really just hawks) and togachako too apparently 21. spiderman au 22. swan feathers 23. takes a toll (my foolish pride) [this is another...really unfinished wip. also another placeholder inspired by a song] 24. that dabi, hawks, rumi idea 25. the showdown 26. the showdown attempt 2 27. traitors taking over, rip mina but fUcK mE 28. vigilante pizza, pls, with a side of salted crime 29. wanna hear a fun fact? u suck [u do not suck] 30. we try (only to say goodbye) 31. wherE iS thE cORN cronch cronch conch cornch 32. who's scarred now? 33. you can be my record (we can go spinning in the midnight discos) [i don't even remember this one...] 34. crossfire 35. it gets lonely at the top (so hold me down on the ground with you)

bsd:

1. Copy of Untitled document 2. Copy of one life ends, and another begins 3. fake dating au attempt 1 4. help 5. lions in the mirror (everything's a little jaded) 6. mermaid hunter au 7. overdrive 8. red like oxblood 9. sorry, you're stuck with me forever???

jjk:

1. chrysalis 2. clouds fall, we drift 3. curtainfall 4. hologram glasses 5. kissing drabbles 6. neighbours au

original stuff:

1. thundersnow 2. bad bishes club 3. carmen and nathan apparently 4. five day old fries, why you go mouldy on me? 5. glad you came 6. piss riley 7. purple dragons in our head

[ceasarslegion]

alright, alright. Maybe I’m reading too much into things here, but from what I’ve seen before from GO, everyone involved in the show crammed so much symbolism and double-meanings into things that you’ll be hard-pressed to find something in its diegesis that wasn’t completely intentional. It’s like a little game they’re playing with us to see how much us observant fuckers can notice. 

That being said, I noticed this little bit from the start of episode 2:

It’s the book Gabriel pretends is “pornography! :)” in order to speak to Aziraphale alone during his shop hours, and he sets it down hard on a side table, but for some reason, they chose to put it in-frame. They didn’t have to do that, there was no reason to have a separate, 2-second shot just of Gabriel slamming down a book, especially when the title is in-focus, and nothing else is (I forgot my technical film terms for that kind of focus, and I’m not digging out and rifling through my study flash cards for a tumblr post lol). Maybe aesthetics? It would go nicely with the general theme of the show, but it’s still extra work, at the end of the day. I mean, unless you wanted audiences to notice it

Aaaaaand here I go into a hyperfocused rampage down wikipedia

Let’s start with some canonical facts, some of which I yoinked from the novel:

-Aziraphale is a bibliophile of biblical (lmao) terms. If you subscribe to the theory that he’s on the autism spectrum, you could reasonably say that books are one of his hyperfixations/special interest.

-He also loves food. To the point where you could say that food’s one of them, too.

-However, Aziraphale has a clear preference to first edition books. He collects first editions in particular, and a great many of which are signed by their authors and addressed to him. His bookshop is advertised as selling first editions, but if anyone actually tries to buy them off of him, he will not hesitate to pull every ounce of angelic magic in his being out to keep them away from his precious dust catchers. C’mon, he has special reading gloves to make sure he doesn’t mess up the pages. Like smeogol with the one ring, this bastard angel. So why is it a new edition (which was the third edition published, of I’d estimate about 50 from the size of that list, that currently exist today), and not a first?

It’s not like Aziraphale wouldn’t have been around at the time. The guy’s immortal, he’s been on Earth since the literal Beginning. And it’s established in the episode 3 cold open that he was in England when that book was first published (1861), so it’s not like he was tied up somewhere else. He was in the area, he was already running his bookshop for a decade or two short of a century by that point (if the dialogue from the Reign of Terror scene is to be believed), and I can’t imagine that he didn’t have the means to get it, being able to perform miracles at will, and all that. Maybe it got popular later? Nah, apparently it had already taken London by storm and sold millions of copies before the author died in 1865. Would have been a hot ticket item for a man like Aziraphale, hm?

Which is why I gotta bring it back to his fixation with food.

We always see him at some kind of restaurant, and it’s established in episode 1 that he regulars some of them enough that they not only know him by name, but also an assortment of his favourite things to order from them. I mean, how much does this boy eat out? JFC, Aziraphale (but me too if I could afford to)

Apparently, only around 20 pages of this book were dedicated to keeping a house, and the rest were tried and true recipes and a discussion about cooking; over 900 pages worth of them. My main man Aziraphale’s out here expanding his culinary horizons even more than he already has. So why not a first edition cook book? 

Well, the first edition was stuffed full of a whole lot of bullshit. If google’s to be believed, she recommended boiling pasta for an hour and forty-five minutes, said mangoes tasted like turpentine, that garlic was offensive, potatoes were “suspicious,” (hey mrs. beeton what the FUCK does that mean) cheese could only be consumed by sedentary people, and she couldn’t even take a side on tomatoes. One minute, they were the best things ever, and the next, they’re actual hellspawn. She also didn’t like branching out into unfamiliar dishes, and it was very much written from the nobility’s perspective, so lower classes didn’t find it as accessible. Later editions heavily edited all of that out and replaced it with actual useful information. The first edition is very much not something Aziraphale would be pleased with, so he’s gotta reconcile his unquenchable desire for first editions with his love of food.

And in the end, it seems practicality won out. This wasn’t a purchase for his collection, that was something for him, despite it going against our previous image of him. And maybe putting that in frame with “new edition” clearly visible was meant to show how Aziraphale isn’t as stubborn and stuck in his ways as we’ve been led to believe up to this point in the story, and the change in him jst depends on where the pull is coming from. Hence, Crowley vs. Gabriel. 

Briefly tying into that, the immediate next thing that happens is Sandelphon saying that something smells evil, and in a moment of panic, Aziraphale blurts out “oh, that’ll be the Jeffrey Archer books, I’m afraid!” and like, okay. Yeah, that was probably for comedic intent over anything else, since GO’s also a comedy by genre, but that’s still quite a niche joke even by British comedy standards, dependent on a working knowledge of British politicians-turned-novelists. Aziraphale’s supposed to be an angel; an agent of total, infallible good, isn’t he? Why would he even know that Jeffrey Archer also writes books that would in turn be a suitable and believable placeholder for “yeah, my demon boyfriend best friend hangs out here enough for it to faintly smell like a demon” if he hadn’t, at some point, perused those books himself? 

Or maybe I’m reading WAY too into things, it meant nothing, and it was just for the “oh the old bookseller sells old books!” effect of it all. Then again, Neil Gaiman did confirm that the piano in the last shot with them was supposed to mimick Aziraphale’s wing shielding Crowley from the rain in the Garden of Eden, so this show does have a tendency to go a lot deeper than the surface level. I don’t know, it’s still more fun to deconstruct things regardless of original intent, IMO.

[northstatenerd]

WWE Fastlane 2019 Preview

WWE’s Fastlane takes place this Sunday in Cleveland, Ohio and it is the last big stop before Wrestlemania. For the most part this event will further the storylines we have seen over the last few weeks, but it will also launch a few others that will likely culminate at “The Grandest Stage of Them All” in April. Here are the biggest stories to keep your eye on.

1. The Shield will reunite for, what is supposedly, the last time ever. Roman Reigns returned last week to announce that his leukemia is in remission. He wasted no time reuniting with his Shield brother, Seth Rollins. However, since he left after his diagnosis, Dean Ambrose turned on Rollins and the two have been at odds ever since. This week, Reigns asked the two to put their differences aside and team up again. Ambrose finally agreed late into Monday’s episode of Raw. They are touting this as the last time ever, because Rollins will be preoccupied at Mania with Brock Lesnar and the WWE Universal title to team up again, and it has been announced that Ambrose will not renew his contract when it runs out after Wrestlemania. The interesting part of that is that WWE, as far as I know, has never announced a wrestler will be leaving before they actually do. So this could all be an elaborate work, and maybe we see the ‘Hounds of Justice’ back in action again, but I would plan on this being their last match together for a long time at least.

2. Somehow, the WWE has been able to keep the Becky Lynch, Ronda Rousey, Charlotte Flair story interesting for most of this year. After Becky was suspended until post-Mania, Ronda laid her title down and said she wouldn’t compete until Becky was reinstated. This week, Becky was reinstated and a match was set for her to face Charlotte Flair this Sunday at Fastlane. At the contract signing on Monday night, Ronda attacked Becky from behind and reclaimed her title. The stipulation was added that if Becky wins on Sunday she will be added to the Wrestlemania match. The best part of this entire feud is Becky Lynch and Ronda Rousey going at each other on Twitter. The two of them do not seem to be holding back at all and it is fun to watch.  WWE is not known for being able to maintain a compelling story over a long period of time, but so far so good here, and hopefully they can keep it up for another month.

3. The Ronda/Becky story is so nice, WWE decided to do it twice! After Elimination chamber, Kofi Kingston was awarded a championship match against Daniel Bryan at Fastlane. Vince McMahon came out before the contract signing and replaced Kofi with Charlotte Flair. Sorry I mean Kevin Owens. Déjà vu. The crowd was so firmly behind Kofi and him finally getting a shot at the title, that we have to assume this is a placeholder until Mania. There isn’t currently a clear path for Kofi to earn his shot, and hopefully they don’t continue to follow the Women’s story, but I do believe Kofi will face Daniel Bryan at Wrestlemania for the WWE Championship, and I believe he will win it. It is absurd at this point that WWE has never had an African American champion, and someone who has been with the company for so long like Kofi would be a perfect choice for that honor.

The Card

Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte Flair

If Becky Lynch Wins, She is Added to the Wrestlemania Match for the Raw Women’s Championship

Prediction:

Becky Lynch has to win this. This is the best way to set up the Wrestlemania match we all want. After several weeks of surprise attacks and beatdowns to both Charlotte and Becky, I’d imagine we’re going to see a great storyline in this match of both competitors working specific body parts of the other. Becky will work Charlotte’s arm, to set her up for the Dis-Arm-Her, while CHarlotte will focus on Becky’s already injured leg. With how hot this storyline has been, I expect this will main event, and Ronda will be involved at some point. Possibly even helping Becky to win.

Daniel Bryan (c) vs. Kevin Owens

WWE World Heavyweight Championship

Prediction:

Daniel Bryan retains. I expect this to be an excellent match between two of the best wrestlers in WWE, but I am going all in on Bryan holding the belt going into Wrestlemania, and dropping it there to Kofi Kingston.

The Shield vs. Baron Corbin, Drew McIntyre, & Bobby Lashley

Prediction:

This match goes one of two ways. This gets treated as a feel good moment to have the Shield reunited, we get the entrance through the crowd, the old music, and they win after a triple powerbomb to probably Baron Corbin. If that’s the case, Reigns will likely face one of the men from the losing team at Mania. However, there is another road to take. Dean Ambrose screws over his brothers and costs them the match, setting up Ambrose to face Reigns at Mania. That scenario gives us a much better match, but WWE is in a delicate position, where they finally have fans cheering for Reigns and putting him against Ambrose in what could be his last match in WWE could jeopardize that.

Asuka (c) vs. Mandy Rose

Smackdown Women’s Championship

Prediction:

For as exciting as some of the storylines are going into Sunday, this one is nothing. There is absolutely no reason for this match to happen, and even less reason for Asuka to lose the title. Asuka is arguably the best female wrestler in the WWE, and making her drop her title to Mandy Rose would be disappointing to say the least. But then again, Vince McMahon loves blondes....

The Usos (c) vs. The Miz and Shane McMahon

SmackDown Tag Team Championships

Prediction:

Usos retain here and this will create the friction between the Miz and Shane that will lead them to their match at Wrestlemania against each other. Shane will probably attempt another move he is too old to do, like a Coast-To-Coast or a jump onto a table that will look cool, but will still not earn Vince’s love and respect.

Bayley & Sasha Banks (c) vs. Tamina & Nia Jax

Women’s Tag Team Championships

Prediction:

Bayley and Sasha will retain. They will likely keep the belts until Wrestlemania where they will face off against a pair of legends, likely Trish Stratus and Lita. Tamina and Nia do seem to be formidable opponents, but after Bayley beat Nia Jax on raw last week, they have proven that it is possible to overcome the size disadvantage.

The Revival (c) vs. Bobby Roode & Chad Gable vs. Aleister Black & Ricochet

Raw Tag Team Championships

Prediction:

This match could steal the show. Aleister Black and Ricochet are 2 of the most entertaining guys on the roster right now. The fact that this is a triple threat means there are no count outs, so there will be plenty of time spent outside of the ring, with everyone diving out of the ring onto everyone else. I think this will be a fun match but ultimately the Revival will retain. I hesitate to now include one single title change on this card, and if there is one I could see Roode and Gable reclaiming the titles here. I would be surprised if Black and Ricochet win, just because they are better off as singles competitors, and do not need to be stuck in a tag team. I imagine the only reason they are in this match is to promote the upcoming Dusty Rhodes Classic Tag team Tournament on NXT. I put the over under on flips performed in this match at 12.

Rey Mysterio vs. Andrade

Prediction:

Andrade and Mysterio have had some great matches over the last few weeks and this will be no different. I do think they will want to get Andrade closer to a title picture heading towards Wrestlemania though. With a guy like Mysterio, he really doesn’t gain or lose anything whether he wins or not, so I see Andrade getting the win and starting to move away from Rey and focusing on the new United States Champion, Samoa Joe.

[kyurilin]

2, 4, 14, and 16?

2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

I'm really looking forward to the day I can get my act together to write my beloved brainchild Song of the Abyss aka the really elaborate bnha mermaid/pirate au. I have it like 75% mapped out in my head and in notes but don't know an ending, and in a way it's kind of a love note to the fact I attempted Pirates of the Caribbean fanfiction way WAY back before I was any good at writing. It's one of those projects that I have a lot of lore for and I really want to do but it's also terrifying because it's SO MUCH and I probably shouldn't make it like, a 100k+ one shot

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

"Well, I for one think you have the saddest eyes I've ever seen. It's like if somebody kicked a puppy, then that puppy got lost, then it started raining, and now the puppy's begging at a doorway of an abandoned warehouse hoping for scraps from whatever grisly creature lurks within."

-okay so Oboro says this in my story Would Anyone Care while describing Shouta during their first year and frankly it might be my favorite thing I've ever written to describe a character PARTICULARLY how it goes from 'aww sad puppy' to 'what the everloving fuck is in that warehouse'

14. At what point in writing do you come up with a title?

I try to come up with a title first and sometimes it hits me immediately like a frying pan to the face but these days especially I'll just name a Google doc something like 'The One Where Kurogiri Does His Kurobest to Live' and that will be what the story is and a placeholder title until I come up with something better (and now I want to title a story that)

16. Tried anything new with your writing lately? (style, POV, genre, fandom?)

Well I don't write chapters anymore I just kinda let the ADHD take over and embrace the chaos

More seriously? I have switched from writing the heavy action/adventure I stuck with for years to writing things that are more grounded even if it's set in a world with superheroes because frankly, Vigilantes grabbed me by the throat with all the Mic-Aizawa-Midnight content and made me realize there's a lot of fun in analyzing these characters and their different methods of coping with grief PLUS they're fun characters to play with and have an amazing dynamic so now I like to explore that instead of just writing stuff where say, someone dies trying to avenge their family and everyone moves on immediately

[avesnongrata]

Can I ask for all of the writer asks for Gone to the Dogs? If that's too much then just number 7 please

Yussss I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently. Thanks for the opportunity!

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?It started off as a roleplay! We were talking blackhill meta, and it turned into Nat (me) and Maria (Woodface) getting into a fist fight over the fact that Maria didn't tell Nat that Fury was alive. Once we got going with that scene, we realized hey! this is really fun. We decided to try a few other scenarios, seeing what we could come up with. When we started, we didn't intend to share it with anyone else; it was just something we were doing for fun. I don't remember the exact point where I realized we had something really good going, but I do remember saying to Woodface, "you know, if we polished this up and put it on the internet, I think people would go nuts for it." She took a little convincing, but by the time the infamous scene in the gym came along, we agreed we needed to share it.

2: What scene did you first put down?We decided I'd write Nat's POV, Woodface would write Maria's, we'd stick them in a room together, and we'd see what happened. That's all the planning we put into it to begin with. The whole fic happened chronologically after that.

3: What’s your favorite line of narration?It's too long a fic to pick out any single line as a favorite... I've got a soft spot for Ch 4: Down Time (both my bit and Woodface's bit) and Ch 25: Run For It. I'm also really proud of the big fight scene between Maria and reverted-back-to-Natalia Natasha in Ch 38. Maria headbutting Nat in the face and then Nat pretending she was gonna shoot Maria so she could shoot the guards instead? Epic.  

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?> obvs! see also:Mine: "If you could do something - anything - right now, what would it be?" (That whole conversation, really)Woodface's: "Fucking hell, Romanoff. There's fuck them and leave them, and then there's you." (That whole exchange, too)

5: What part was hardest to write?The whole shore leave arc was hardest for me. I had some personal issues going on at the time, so I was in the absolute wrong headspace for writing domestic fluff or intimacy. Funnily enough, I had no problem writing the fucked up fight!sex in the gym, but the good, sweet, nice sex in Maria's apartment was like pulling teeth for me. I knew Nat wanted it and was ready for it, but it was very hard to write it like that. It was hard to keep my own feelings from infecting Natasha's. I kept having to rewrite things because they were too angsty, or I would have to write through the feeling of my skin crawling.

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?Aside from being my first (and only) collaborative work? GttD was the fic that made me believe I am a good writer. Now I'm in the process of writing an original novel and several comics with the hope of getting something published eventually. I don't know if I'd have the guts to try if it weren't for GttD. Being able to start and finish a project like that, not to mention getting all the amazing feedback from the best fandom I could imagine? Life-changing. Truly.

7: Where did the title come from?You know, I still don't really know. It was supposed to be a placeholder. It's the title Woodface gave the google doc when we were first messing around with the roleplay, and it just sort of stuck. I think it fits, though. Gives the whole thing a sense of 'well fuck, this is gonna be a hot mess. bring it on.'

8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?Not really? Not that I am aware of, or was aware of at the time. I think I probably got the idea for stealing Maria's shirts from a story my mom tells from when she was in college, but it wasn't a conscious decision on my part. (It's a great story: she stole aaaaaaaaaaaallllllllll her hallmate's clothes while he was in the shower, then she put them all on reserve in the library.)

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?Hoo boy, yes. There were a couple of times we'd get into a scene and realize, oops this isn't going anywhere fun or useful, so we'd back up and try again. For example, we wrote a whole sex scene in the showers after their very first sparring match in chapter 8. However, at that point in the story they were nowhere near ready for it. Not even close. Scrapping that scene was a great decision, even though it was super fun to write. Maybe I'll polish it up as a deleted scene/bonus material.Most notably, the entire ending is way different than I'd originally intended. At first, Natasha was just going to be wrong about SHIELD orchestrating her relationship with Maria. It was all supposed to be paranoia on her part. She ran away. Fury brought her back. She was humiliated. Maria was hurt. Simple as that. Nat fucked up, and it destroyed all the trust and understanding they had between them. The story was supposed to end with them breaking up because of it. I know, I know, that's cruel. I wanted to do a sequel where they fall out of touch for a while, and then get thrown back together as part of the Avengers Initiative. I wanted to explore them working through their old grudges and hurt feelings, learning how to work together again, rediscovering their connection and attraction, falling back in love. (my very favorite fic ever - a series I rank up there with my favorite books ever - did something similar. The emotional impact was spectacular.) Obviously, that didn't happen. Woodface wasn't into the idea, and we both agreed it was better to wrap up the story in a single fic rather than attempting a sequel. We still needed a way to get past the shattered trust, hence the whole Red Room chemical programming story arc.

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?I was in love with them! Really, there was no way this story would have happened to any other characters. Blackhill got me back into the fic writing game after years of no writing whatsoever. They're still my best inspiration.

11: What do you like best about this fic?The fandom! I never imagined it would catch on so thoroughly. I never thought I'd get to be a part of such an amazing, interactive experience. Story-wise, I think I'm proudest of 1) the sex scene that did absolutely nothing to resolve the sexual tension between them and 2) the plot twist of having Natasha run away due to her super sinister chemical programming.

12: What do you like least about this fic?tbh if I had to go back and change it, I'd probably try to streamline the ending. There's a lot of fluff in there, and it does weird things to the pacing. I was okay with keeping it because GttD is fanfiction (we WANT to see all the cuddling and touching and kissing and love declarations!) but I'm well aware that it's not exactly the best storycraft.

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?Oh man, I really need to get off my ass and curate a more cohesive playlist. In the meantime, here's this one.

14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?I wanted people to love blackhill! I still get comments about how GttD sold people on Maria and Natasha as a ship. I love love love knowing my work helped bring new people into the fandom. It's a great feeling.

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?The whole thing was a lesson in improv and character consistency. By the time we got to the end of each arc, we'd already shared the beginning, thus it was canon and unchangeable. We had to move forward without getting to go back and alter any of the plot or character beats that we'd already established. It was quite the challenge, but it was really fun. I'm amazed how well the whole story ended up coming together, considering how unplanned it was.

[valoisfulcanelli]

The Rose - Dramatis Personae (WiP)

This will be an ongoing project, updated as and when I get the necessary screenshots taken, and come up with enough backstory for each character in The Rose. Some of the newer characters will have more backstory (for now) than the older ones, because I need to work harder to sum up the older ones! 

This will be the place to which I link my readers on AO3, for visuals of each person. For now, it will be mainly images with some placeholder text, so please bear with me as I construct it :)

Note: I’m aware that they don’t all have surnames. Some of them (aka: Hornet) don’t need one, as their only name is a nickname. And yes, I’ve not given Gunther his usual surname. It doesn’t really fit for this story, so until I can come up with a new one, he’s stuck as just ‘Gunther’.

THE VAMPIRES

Valois Fulcanelli - The Eigne (Eldest) and leader of The Rose coven, and Elliott’s sire.

Universally acknowledged among his kind as the oldest vampire in existence--thereby meriting the title of ‘Eigne’--Valois has run The Rose coven for three centuries, beginning from its earliest days as a coffee house in the mid-18th Century, through to its present-day incarnation as a nightclub. Nobody really knows how old he is, but from conversation with him, those closest to him know that he has existed for many hundreds of years.

Valois runs his coven--which he insists upon calling a nest--with what its younger members deem to be something of an iron fist. He requires its members to train any fledglings that they sire until they can survive alone, and he strongly suggests that coven members find themselves a mortal pet from whom they can feed at will, as opposed to going out into the community to kill.

In truth, he is a paternal figure, watching out for his family. He has sired very few times in his long existence, and his only remaining fledgling--Elliott--has recently returned to the coven after a 75-year absence.

Arcturus Fenelon - The Eigne’s Lieutenant and second-in-command, and Immanuil’s sire.

It took weeks of gentle persuasion for Arcturus to reluctantly agree to assume the position of Valois’s Lieutenant, after Elliott had vacated it upon leaving the Rose. One of the older vampires in the coven, his dry wit and urbane attitude mask a ruthless protection of those he loves.

Nobody has ever seen Arcturus get angry, because he never needs to. He is one of the rare vampires blessed with Lilith’s Voice: the ability to completely manipulate others--both mortal and vampire--by speech alone. It’s a gift that he takes seriously, never using it but when absolutely necessary, but--to him--it is infinitely preferable to defuse a dangerous situation with words rather than violence.

Paired with Elsanine in a passionate vampire/pet relationship, Arcturus is also one of the few vampires who would rather sleep in a bed than a coffin. Partly because Elsanine is claustrophobic and refuses to share his casket, but mainly because he loves to sleep with his beautiful boy curled around him.

Elliott Lucan

Nobody but Valois knows why Elliott walked out of the Rose 75 years ago, but everyone who was around at the time knows how badly it affected the Eigne to lose not only his trusted Lieutenant but also his beloved fledgling.

Another of the coven’s older inhabitants, Elliott has an abiding love of literature, and--when awake--can often be found with a pen in his hand and a thoughtful frown furrowing his brow as he puzzles over his latest work. Successfully published under a variety of pseudonyms over the years, he never tires of the written word.

He has been paired with his pet Sebastian for almost seven years, and often cites him as his Muse, since Sebastian reawakened his inspiration after a long, dry spell when the words simply abandoned him.

Aleister Magestros

When Elliott left the Rose, Aleister immediately put himself forward for the position of Lieutenant. Slighted by Valois’s refusal, he tried again once the Eigne’s grief had lessened somewhat. When he found that Arcturus had been given the position, Aleister was furious.

Prideful and willful, Aleister is the loose cannon within the coven. Not one to be dictated to at all, he scorns the use of pets to assuage thirst, and Valois has given up on trying to persuade him. Aleister prides himself on his clean and discreet kills, but nonetheless he has come dangerously close in the past to bringing the police right to Valois’s doorstep.

Terpsichore Cavafy

Named for the joy of dancing, Terpsichore is a born performer and nothing if not a bit of a diva. An actor by trade, he fell into disreputable company centuries ago and was turned to the Eternal Night. Everything he does is tinged with drama, and oftentimes he’s more trouble than he’s worth, but he lingers at the Rose nonetheless.

Why? He and Valois had a ~thing going on, long before Gunther came onto the scene. Valois appreciates Terpsichore’s natural grace (and the fact that he’s very adept at flattery) and he enjoys late-night discussions with him about the theatre.

Terpsichore will tolerate old friends calling him “’chore” (pronounced ‘kora’) but call him “Terp” at your peril.

Fuchsia - Head of security at The Rose

Those who look at Fuchsia’s slight frame and love of all things pink often laugh in disbelief when they find out her position at the Rose. Let them try to cause trouble, though, and they’re left sitting on the sidewalk outside the club, nursing a bruised ego and wondering what the hell just happened. Valois trusts her implicitly when it comes to the security of the club, knowing that she can single-handedly deal with just about any problems that crop up.

Fuchsia once had a pet--Emilia--who met with an unfortunate fate, for which Valois feels responsible. Since that time, Fuchsia has shown no interest in finding another, and she is the only vampire in the Rose whom Valois doesn’t lean on to try and partner off with a mortal pet.

Una Morrigan

One of the more playful, fun-loving vampires at The Rose coven. Currently without a pet, she’s grown very fond of Elsanine, and the two of them hang out quite a lot. Arcturus is a little wary of her, but he doesn’t sense any untoward intentions from her regarding Elsanine, so he permits their friendship.  

Immanuil Hevening

Brought to the Eternal Night in the full flush of youth by Arcturus, Immanuil is very much aware of his beauty, and uses it to his advantage. He shuns killing, preferring instead to sip from the Rose’s mortal regulars. Occasionally he can be persuaded to DJ in the club, which usually results in a higher-than-usual turnout of patrons, since his musical tastes are very high-energy and he knows how to work a crowd.

He’s struck up a friendship with Hornet, much to Arcturus’s concern. But, while Immanuil loves and respects his sire, he won’t allow anyone to dictate who he socialises with.  

Hornet

If anyone has ever found out Hornet’s true name, they haven’t lived to tell anyone what it is. He rather enjoys being named after a particularly vicious species of wasp, even though he knows it’s his colouring that has earned him his nickname, and not his temperament.

If there’s mischief to be had, Hornet can usually be found on the periphery of it. It’s not that he’s bad; he just can’t resist having a little fun now and then. Well, his definition of fun, anyway...

The Nameless

You’ll find out about him eventually...

THE MORTALS

Sebastian Carpenter (Elliott’s pet)

Smart as a whip and born in a backwater town where he couldn’t take advantage of that fact, Sebastian pretty much lived his life online. At least on the net he could find others like him, earn money from his programming work, and save up enough money to leave for the city. And then, one evening--as he took advantage of the free food at at open-air art display in the town square--he met Elliott, a tall stranger who listened to him, conversed with him, and took his work seriously when he talked about it.

Starved of this kind of attention and appreciation, Sebastian found himself seeking out Elliott’s company every night. He didn’t even bat an eyelash when Elliott finally admitted what he was (Elliott still recalls Sebastian’s response of “Yeah? Cool!”), but when the townsfolk became suspicious of their guest’s permanently-nocturnal lifestyle, Elliott decided it was time to move on. There was no way that Sebastian wanted to stay behind without him, so he upped-sticks and spent the next six years travelling with him, until they finally arrived at the Rose.

Elsanine Grant (Arcturus’s pet)

Born into a travelling family, by the age of seventeen Elsanine had tired of the itinerant life and wanted to settle down. He found a job in a record store in the city, and a home in a cramped little apartment that he stuffed full of books and his own artwork. A succession of failed relationships followed, until--quite jaded with the whole ‘love’ thing--he met Arcturus one rainy evening after a run for the last bus (which didn’t wait for him). Arcturus walked him home, invited him for dinner the next night (at which point Elsanine found out that he was dinner), and they found a mutual fascination for history, art, and each other.

Gunther Holford (Valois’s pet)

An esteemed academic within his field, Gunther is an antiquarian and professor of archaeology at the city’s university, as well as one of several curators at the local museum. It was while inspecting the museum’s new Egyptian exhibit that he first saw Valois, whose compelling presence entirely eclipsed the beautiful antiquities around him.

Older by some twenty or so years than the average vampire’s pet, Gunther is in a very comfortable relationship with Valois, not only as his pet but also as his submissive, about which he is perfectly open and relaxed. He rarely appears in the club during business hours, but when he does, he’s always by Valois’s side or at his feet.

Morgan Sanderlys

Morgan is one of the few humans that frequent the Rose knowing what it truly is, but isn’t interested in getting the vampires to drink from him.

He’s struck up an odd friendship with Terpsichore, thanks to a shared love of the arts–specifically the stage–but he views the other vampires in the coven with a healthy dose of sass and humour (although he affords Valois the respect that his age–and his ability to kick Morgan out and ensure he comes neither nigh nor by ever again–commands). He’s also friendly with Gunther and Elsanine, and will sometimes accompany them on trips outside the coven, although he side-eyes them a little for the whole ‘pet’ thing.

Terpsichore keeps trying to persuade Morgan to let him take a small sip, but Morgan just grins and teases him mercilessly. One day he’ll probably let Terpsichore do it, just to satisfy his own curiosity, but he’ll never allow himself to be owned like the vampires’ pets are.

[siodymph]

Symmrat Week Day 2

Boy howdy! his one is definitely going to be my longest submission for the week! I was a bit rushed to finish this all in time but hopefully it doesn't show too badly lol

Today's theme was an AU so i went with one i'd actually been thinking about, an Alternate Universe where everyone in Overwatch are Youtube gamers! Hope you all enjoy!

(Also RIP people on mobile, I’m sorry)

“That was an absoblutely booti- beu-… absobluty- Uhhhhggghh!”

“That was a wonderful game and I’m so happy to have experienced it. Thank you for joining me, if you wish please subscrur- errrr.”

Satya groaned as she deleted yet another recording of herself stumbling over her outro. Why was it only the ends of her videos that she got so tongue-tied? And when she did manage to get through her outro she’d rewatch it and realize she was making a weird face or her hair had been messed up. Was it too much to ask to do her English outro perfect by the fifth try?

After pressing her palms into her eyes she sighed and took a deep breath through her nose. She just needed to calm back down and stop over-thinking these outros. If she didn’t focus so intently on the English words then they would come much more naturally. She just needed to relax.

Satya looked over herself one more time in the mirror by her camera, smoothing down her hair and readjusting her shirt before taking one more deep breath through her nose. And attempted her outro one more time.

“That was a wonderful game and I’m so happy to have experienced it. If you haven’t already I highly suggest playing it for yourself. Thank you all for joining me in this playthrough. And if you wish please subscribe to my channel and see you all in my next video!”

It wasn’t perfect, but it was a close as she could get. If she just sat here all day trying to record one outro she’d get nothing else done. She might try recording it again later but for now that would make a good placeholder for then end. Now came the part she enjoy much more. Most of the other youtubers she talked with hated editing their videos, but personally she actually enjoyed it. Compiling the most interesting moments during her recordings and putting them together however she liked. Even though it could be a bit more time-consuming Satya always found it worthwhile. To have complete control of her videos. To make them exactly how she envisioned, down to the very second. To make them perfect.

But before she got started editing, she decided to check her email, many times when she started editing she’d go into a zone and miss out on plans with her friends or important messages from her advertisers. For almost two years now she had been in a symbiotic relationship with Vishkar Tech that had elevated the videos she loved making into a viable career.

Before their contract Satya, or rather her online persona Symmetra, had a decent audience that grew steadily by word of mouth. She was always complimented on her calming voice, positive outlook on games and always keeping things age-appropriate for younger viewers. As it turned out Vishkar Tech liked her videos too, especially the latter factor. Enough so that they felt she was the perfect gamer to be a face for their products. They offered her a deal where they would give her a paycheck for each of her videos, as well as promote her material. And in turn she exclusively used their products only. Her headphones, her keyboard, nearly everything, even her chair were all Vishkar’s top-of-the-line products. And now for two years she’d been able to do one of the things she loved the most thanks to their support.

As she went through her email, she found no new messages from Vishkar. However there was one new email, one she didn’t recognize. It stuck out almost painfully in her inbox full of formal, professional emails. Its caption read “wanna collab??”

Wanna. Not Want to. No capitalization. Not to mention the fact that there were two question marks. She could just see her old English teacher from school looking at this in horror and making corrections in red ink all over the words, if they could even be called that. The addressed seemed strange too, like it had been created by a child going on the internet for the first time. “thejunkergamer@” The only thing missing was a bunch of extra numbers and underscores.

She dreaded opening the email, but at the same time she couldn’t help but feel curious. She’d never done a collaboration before. Mostly because she was seldom a big interactive person among the gaming community on youtube so no one had ever invited her into any crossovers or meet-ups. It did make sense though, with her growing popularity paired with Vishkar’s support she had become rather popular quickly, views on her videos increasing almost exponentially now. Who knew, it might be a fun change.

So not able to resist, and silently hoping this wasn’t actually a virus, she opened the email.

“Hi! So, your the great Symmetra everyones been talking about? I’ve seen a bunch of you’re stuff and I think your just great! Real chill and you seem like a nice person, got nice videos

Ok, this all started out as a joke in my videos. My mate Roadie and I would crack jokes about all the blokes who where “totally collabing” with us. And one or two times we may of brought up your name and it turns out, people actually liked that idea! Crazy right? So anyways it got big enough that a whole lot a people suggested you as a guest for our next crossover. But I dunno how this would all work. Since you’re in India and I’m bouncing around the States this year. Maybe if you’re in LA for that one convention thing we could meet-up then? I don’t know.

So email me back if your interested and we can figure all this out!

-Jamie (Junkrat) Fawkes”

Satya couldn’t help but stare at the email in slight confusion, like she was looking at strange modern art. It was legible but as Satya read through it she questioned if this could have been his real first language. At one point this so called Junkrat had written, taken the time to type “dunno” yet at another part had typed out “I don’t know” correctly. Why not write it correctly both times? How do you miss those kind of errors? The fact that the correct spelling was written near then end of his short email baffled Satya still. Who writes to someone they don’t know like that? “Yours” and “You’re” were mismatched all over, seeming random in choice of spelling.

The when she looked over the name and email again, she finally recognized it. He was on an Australian gaming channel, not one of the biggest household names but still rather popular. Their name regularly popped-up in the comments on her videos and in her searches. But she had never actually seen one of their videos.

She decided to change that now and looked up a playlist of some of his most recent videos, to see who she could potentially be working with. To be a popular face on youtube he had to be making interesting videos. And even if his form of entertainment wasn’t quite what Satya preferred to invest time in she had to respect the fact that he’d made video content a career for himself like she had. And who knew, maybe Junkrat would surprise her? What if behind his barely-legible email there was an engaging, entertaining series of videos that got him and his channel an audience.

Trying to keep an open mind, she clicked on one of the first video she saw. It was titled “Sonic ’06 Part 14: …”

She immediately regretted her choice when she saw the full title “Sonic ’06 Part 14: WHO WANTS TO BE SILVER’S B****??” The video began with someone yelling out a slew of swear words while a deep voice laughed in the background. Nope. Satya immediately got out of the video as soon as she could. That was way too loud and brash. She tried scrolling over the first video in the series, maybe they wouldn’t be so ridiculous with the first video. After all, it was probably just going over the tutorial, how bad could that be? She didn’t take any chances this time though, and scrolled over the title instead of blindly clicking on it.

Sure enough the full title was “Sonic ’06 Part 1: I WISH FOR THE SWEET RELEASE OF DEATH”

She made a mental note to just avoid any games related to sonic after that. After a few more minutes of searching she decided to try a video titled “Ocarina of Time Part 7: Tone Deaf Jam Sessions”

Throughout the video Satya found herself becoming more confused than anything. When Junkrat wasn’t yelling during difficult parts of the game he was just talking with his friend with the deep gravelly voice. Most of what they said had barely anything to do with their task at hand. Instead they’d either make terrible jokes or simply talk about their day. It was all rather mundane, like they were just two friends catching up over lunch. Most of the time they barely paid any attention to the game, Junkrat getting easily sidetracked. At one point their discussion about motorcycle repairs got so intense Junkrat accidentally walked straight into an enemy and got killed. And the strange character of a gamer would either laugh or scream at his own negligence while his friend would make dry comments.

This is what made them so popular? She’d seen many gamers rise to fame by just screaming throughout their gameplay but this was different. Sure they yelled plenty when it was expected but more so they would be trying to have an ordinary conversations. So much so it caused them to actually play worse, which by all expectations would mean they’d lose an audience, not gain one.

Another thing that was strange to Satya, the fact that they never showed footage of themselves. Most other gamers put in an small video of themselves in the corner of the screen but not them, they just showed footage of their game. If someone were to mute the game they would never even know someone was adding commentary.

But at the same time as she watched several more videos in the Junker’s Ocarina of Time series she felt herself grow a tad jealous. Sometimes she’d spend hours putting together her outfit and make-up for each of her playthroughs and for all she knew the Junkers were just playing in their pajamas. Actually. in a few of their videos they actually confirmed they indeed did. Satya couldn’t help but think of all the time she could save only voicing over her game play, but she knew that since she already made a habit of filming herself play she’d only get massive backlash for suddenly changing her videos. Not to mention Vishkar would probably be very cross with her if she suddenly stopped showing regular footage of herself using their products.

She stopped herself halfway through their series so she could go back to editing her videos, she still had her job to do after all. But as she went through her recording and began to piece together her video she kept mulling over Junkrat’s offer.

As her luck, or maybe her misfortune, would have it she had been invited to two different panels at the convention Junkrat had mentioned. Vishkar had already paid for her flight there and a room for the entire week. She would be there for the whole duration of the convention as well as the few days before, so she could afford the free time… Despite the email being a nightmare to read, he seemed nice enough. Maybe not a person she’d think to do a collaboration with, but it was still an interesting offer.

As for all the poor jokes, screaming and ridiculousness maybe it was all just an internet persona he and his partner put on for their show. Everyone who starred on a channel altered their personality one way or another. Even Satya had in creating her persona Symmetra. And despite being very much the same, Symmetra had never been a carbon copy of real-life self. Though Satya had to admit it would be nice to edit herself and her conversations much like she edited her videos, save herself from many embarrassing moments. Maybe the crazy persona of Junkrat was just that and Jamison Fawkes was a much more reasonable person to work with, one who just happened to have poor grammar. At least she hoped so…

But even if not, perhaps this could be the start of something. If she agreed to Junkrat’s invitation maybe it could open doors to more collaborations with the online gaming community. While she enjoyed working independently and was never one for large crowds or their chaotic noise she never hated the thought of having a few more friends online who she could interact with beyond the odd email every couple weeks.

Before she got too ahead of herself however, Satya realized she’d definitely have to ask Vishkar for permission before anything else. She hadn’t even thought of them. Would they even allow her to do crossovers? Especially with a persona as rash and vulgar as the Junker gamers? She decided to email them to ask before responding to Junkrat at all, just to be sure. And after she finished editing her current video of course. By the end of the day the newest episode in her playthrough of “The Deer God” was successfully uploaded and a full email was sent to Vishkar. Asking about a potential crossover and pleading her case for why it could be a further advancement for her channel.

Though as the email notification popped up on her screen, she couldn’t completely decide if she hoped they would say yes or no.

~~~~

A month later, and two days before the convention Satya wished Vishkar had said no.

If there were any difference between Jamison Fawkes and his online persona of Junkrat it was microscopic.

They had agreed to meet in the studio of some friends Junkrat knew to record their video. And when she had first arrived she still foolishly hoped that Jamison would be an actual person, and not the maniacal character he appeared like in all of his videos and emails. She couldn’t of imagined just how terribly, terribly wrong she had been.

After twenty minutes of nervously pacing around the small lobby of the recording studio Junkrat finally arrived. The only way Satya even knew it might be him was the sudden shouting and commotion outside and a car horn ringing out obnoxiously loud. That alone made her want to stay inside. But when even the receptionist hurried outside to see what was happening Satya decided enough was enough and she ought to find out what on earth the alleged Junkrat had done that was so outrageous. But as soon as she stepped outside and saw him she regretted it.

First of all was the parked car that looked like it had been crashed then left to rust for a hundred years. Chains and scrap metal decorated the thing as if it had just been driven out of an apocalypse. Then there was then man himself who stepped out of the car grinning from ear to ear.

A tall bean pole of a man crawled out of the vehicle, a raspy voice somehow shouting clearly over the growing crowd around them. His dusty goggles were pulled off his face and short blond hair that might have been gelled into spikes at one point were frazzled and wind blown out into every direction. And much to Satya’s fear the strange skin-tight grey shirt he was wearing wasn’t real. He was shirtless and that was all dirt.

There was only so much she could take, and as Junkrat and the crowd around him drew away from the car and towards the studio Satya raced back inside and to the restroom. She brought hands up to her scalp and groaned. Whatever hopes she had for this recording session going normally were dying and dead. How on earth was she supposed to work with that maniac? She wished she could just sneak back out of this studio and hide in her hotel. Maybe they’d believe her if she said she was sick all of a sudden and couldn’t make it in today?

But she’d already made a promise to record and they surely knew she was here by now. So instead she took and few deep breaths, splashed some cool water on her face and smoothed down her hair. And checking herself one last time in the restroom mirror, she went out to go meet Jamison “Junkrat” Fawkes in person.

She counted her lucky stars that the crowd that had come in had finally dispersed though it did little to quell the churning in her gut as she walked up to Junkrat. His back was turned from her as he talked with two other people Satya slightly recognized from other channels. As she approached Junkrat made no movement that he knew she was there. She looked to the two other people he was talking to but they made no effort to let him know either. That worry twisting her insides only coiled tighter at the awkwardness. For a moment she feared she’d have to tap him on his gross, dirt-coated shoulder, she hated anyone touching her in such an abrupt manner and dreaded having to do so to another person only slightly less. Instead, she cleared her throat loudly, a little rude Satya had to admit but at least she avoided having to touch him, and that finally got the Junker to turn around.

For a moment he looked completely lost and Satya feared for the worst but then his face suddenly lit up. “Oh! So we finally get to meet face to face, the great Symmetra! How’s it hanging!” He said. His voice could have almost sounded melodic if it weren’t so raspy.

When he put out a hand to shake Satya had to stop herself from recoiling, dirt coated his hands like gloves. “Uhhh…” Satya started, she didn’t want to be rude, but there was no way she’d ever want to touch that much dirt. Not even while held at gun-point. “It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance errr, Junkrat. But I’d rather not shake hands if I can help it.”

“Wut?” He said looking between her and his hand before realization finally dawned on his face again. “Oh yeah! Sorry about that, completely forgot I was wearing this stuff. Me and a few of my best mates just got done filming a prank video! It’s gonna be hilarious!”

Satya had seen a few pranking videos here and there, though she never was realty fond of any of them, but she’d never seen anything as outlandish as Junkrat’s get-up. And all for a prank-video? “And what sort of prank is this for?”

Junkrat smiled proudly with mischief clear on his face. “Mad Max. We signed up our car outside for Uber and then we went around town scaring the shit out of people! It was amazing, like we just rolled out of the apocalypse! I think my favorite when this little kid did the Sign of the V8 to us. It was just the cutest, you should have been there!” He looked like he would of kept going but then he shook his head and stopped himself. “But look at me going on and on when there’s a video to be made! I’ll show you back to the studio, we can pick out a game and get started!”

“Wait!”

Junkrat had been ready to leave when he turned back around to face Satya. “Yeah? Something wrong?”

“Aren’t you…” Satya really couldn’t find a nice way to say thing. But even if Junkrat didn’t, Satya at least had standards she hoped he could go by! There was only so much she could take today before she just overloaded. “Aren’t you at last going to try washing some of that… stuff off before we record?”

Junkrat gave her a blank look and then shrugged his shoulders. “Alright. I’ll just show you where we’ll be recording and you can get yourself all situated while I try and freshen up. Then we can find a game and go from there!”

To Junkrat’s credit he at least tried to wash off some of the dirt and make-up, Satya had to at least give him that. Even if it wasn’t much and when he came back into the recording studio he was more muddy than anything, she could tell he had at least try. He mentioned using a sealant on his arms and face which helped explain why it was such a pain to get off instead of normal dirt. Even if it still irked her and made want to grind her teeth in annoyance she could still realize that he’d tried at least.

Unfortunately, that was the last time he put forth any effort for the rest of their playthrough.

It started off mundanely enough. Together they had decided an old puzzle-platformer for their one-off crossover video. And after setting everything up, cameras, game, times, they stated recording and went through with introductions. It all went so smoothly, Satya decided she must have been lulled into a false-sense of security by it.

Then, inevitably perhaps, Junkrat grew bored. Just a little past the ten-minute marker it began. He had been telling her about his experience so far in America, Satya had actually been interested in what he was talking about, when he started trailing off suddenly focusing more on the game than he had ever before. Satya should have suspected something then but it was already too late. Suddenly a weird chirp sound came from the game and the whole screen seemed to lag.

“Oh no.” He said in a voice lacking any real distress. “Whenever I try to go to this room, everything gets all wonky.”

A look a pure mischief was on his face and Satya realized she wasn’t going to be in one of the calm JunkerGamer videos where they talk about their days, this was going to be a Sonic ’06 type of playthrough.

It all went downhill from there. Junkrat kept messing with the weird room, and at first Satya tried not to let it affect her. It was Junkrat’s channel he could make whatever mindless glitch-abusing video he liked. But it just… it was becoming way too much. She tried saying something, that he should just leave the stupid room before he broke the game and he’d just laughed. The game’s music grew more distorted, the pixelated designs started flashing. At that point Satya had snapped at him. That finally got him to turn and look at her.

“You alright?”

And then the game crashed.

But of course it couldn’t be an ordinary crash where the game just shuts itself down. No, instead the whole screen became flashes or blue and red and the whole game sounded like it was shrieking in chip-tune anguish, like a small robot was being murdered.

All she could see was red and she needed to get out of that room now. She could hear Junkrat and she told him to leave her alone. And then he’d left saying he’ll be back if she needed anything. She couldn’t clearly remember what happened after that but she found herself outside in the hallway. Breathing deeply through her nose, both her hands gripping her hair and unable to bring herself to look away from the floor. Normally she would have considered this an absolute, humiliating nightmare but at the moment she still felt too overwhelmed and pissed off.

She didn’t even know how long she was out there. But after some period of time, she heard someone coming down the hall and finally brought herself to look up. It was Junkrat, carrying two bottled waters and a plastic bag filled with snacks.

“Uhhhh, here.” He said, handing her the bottled water as a peace offering. She’d never seen him so shy before. She didn’t even know he could be shy.

She didn’t say anything back but still accepted the water.

“I… I am so sorry about that.” He said, fiddling with the bag of snacks instead of looking at her. “I shouldn’t of gone crazy on ya like that. Should of asked how you wanted things to go, from the start really.”

“You’re channel” Satya said.

“But it’s your crossover too… I’m sorry about all this, really. Do…” He took a deep breath to get whatever words he wanted to say in order and tried again. “Do you need me to call you a ride?”

The offer was tempting, so so tempting. She wanted to just go back to the hotel and forget this day ever happened. But at the same time, she still had a promise to go through with. Both of them had already told, even advertised to their fans that they were finally making this crossover. And Junkrat seemed sincerely sorry.

“No. I’ll stay.”

“Wait wut?” Junkrat was completely dumb-founded.

“On one condition.” Symmetra continued. “I pick out the game. We can still have commentary but I’d rather be in control.”

“Uh- yeah yeah, of course. Anything ya like.”

Massaging her head one last time, she pulled herself off the wall and together they walked back into the studio. She decided on “Endevor” an old game she’d been fond of back in her Newgrounds days. They set everything back up, wrote down their new time slot for editing later and tried their second attempt at a crossover video. Satya started the game with the keyboard, explaining to Junkrat what it was about and how much she’d loved it long before she began filming her playthroughs. At one point or another she ended up handing the game over to Junkrat to play and he seemed to enjoy it as well, mentioning how he always liked games with a free-world the most. He even finished his story about being in America. She realized somewhere between the American snacks she knew must sound awful on the mics and the calmer game and music she’d stumbled into something that felt right in the middle of one of her own playthroughs and one of Junkrat’s “talk-about-your-day” ones. It was all so pleasant. She was actually having fun.

But much sooner then either of them had expected, their time in the studio was up and they said their goodbyes before ending their video.

As Satya left for her ride Junkrat followed her out to the lobby of the studio.

So I’ll get the video done and send ya the finished copy before posting it anywhere?”

Satya nodded and smiled slightly. “Sounds like a fair plan.”

Her ride drew into the parking lot and she turned back to Junkrat. “Good bye then, Junkrat.”

“Thank you for doing this, really it’s been a lot of fun.”

Satya wasn’t too sure what to say, certainly not ‘you’re welcome’ though the words seemed to impulsively come to mind. “I enjoyed this myself. It went much better than I had expected.” Hopefully that sounded alright.

“Glad to hear it.” He said smileing. “But honest I gotta make it up to you.”

“No need.” She said, politeness being more like e a knee reaction.

“No no I mean it. Just say the word and I’ll make it happen.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” She said as she stepped into the car. “Take care of yourself, Junkrat.”

“Same goes to you ‘Metra!” He said waving.

Then just like that

~~~

Much later Junkrat went to work with Roadhog editing a bunch of their footage from the day. They’d been hoping to get thse videos out by the weekend in time for the convention. Hog was working on the Mad Max prank while he did the crossover with Symmetra.

So far it looked like the crossover video was going to be a bit shorter, barely scraping 15-minutes, than the normal half-hour material the Junker Gamers usually worked with. Junkrat had been tempted to use some of the recordings from the first half of their recording session but decided against it. Being an ass was only funny if A: the person you’re dealing with was a cunt or B: They were in on the joke and knew what was going on, and Symmetra had been neither.

But even being cut short, overall Junkrat considered this crossover a technical success. Sure, they may have gotten off on the wrong foot. And sure, the one and only Symmetra, calmest voice on the internet, had yelled at him and called him an ass. And sure, at one point she was about ready to walk out on their recording. And, actually if Junkrat were to grade himself on the overall this would be a failure, no arguments. Luckily Junkrat wasn’t looking at the overall, he was looking at the end result. And after finally getting his head out of his ass, and talking things through they had actually made a successful crossover playthrough. He’d even enjoyed himself the second half of their game. And Symmetra had become much more relaxed too.

He’d actually felt terrible that she’d gotten so overwhelmed, especially since he’d had his own moments of sensory overload and knew how much it sucked. He should have seen all those signs early on and backed off but instead he’d kept pushing and pushing, trying to be funny and keep the show going.

He counted himself lucky she didn’t leave the studio all together, he certainly would of if he were in her place. And thankfully while their playthrough at least ended on a high note he felt like he should really try making it up to her. Definitely this week before the convention. But what would someone like Symmetra even like? They’d talked some while playing their game but in the end he still didn’t know that much about her.

Roadhog’s deep laugh pulled him from his thoughts. “Oh fuck, Jamie look at this!”

Junkrat crawled out of his chair and leaned over Roadhog’s shoulder to see what he was laughing at. It was a clip of when they’d finally gotten to the studio. He and hog were doing their thing, being crazy and scary when in the background was Symmetra. She came out of the front doors to the studio and when she saw them her face contorted in sheer terror like a deer in headlights before bolting back inside. Roadhog had gone back over the video and zoomed in on her, and started adding the caption “nope” as she ran away. Normally something like that would have made him cackle but right now it only felt like his guts were sinking.

Junkrat started rapidly tapping Roadhog’s shoulder before he could add the clip into full video. “Hog, Hog, wait! Don’t add that in. I never got permission from ‘Metra.”

“You sure? Looks pretty funny.”

“Yeah, she was having a crappy day and- just don’t add that in.”

“Ok...” Roadhog began, he hadn’t heard Junkrat sound so worried. Not in a long time, not since they started their channel. “Everything go alright with her?”

Junkrat chewed at his lip a little before answering. “I guess so, we did ok. At the beginning I was doing my usual shit, fucking up the game and she wasn’t having it. She actually got real upset before we took a break. I thought she was going to walk out on our crossover. Can see why though, I was being a real cunt.”

“And that’s your idea of ok?” Hog added dryly.

“Hey! Things got better after we took a break!” Junkrat snapped. “We finished off the recording, shorter than I would of hoped but that’s my own fault. And at least we ended it without wanting to tear off eachother’s heads… Still wanna make it up to her though.”

“Well you better get cracking then. Cause you got less than a week to do something.” Roadhog rumbled before going back to work on their prank video. And as Junkrat followed suit his mind was a buzz trying to find ideas.

He didn’t want to do anything cheap and faceless like a fruit-basket or any of that sort of shit. He had to make this a bit more sincere, to let her know he was actually sorry. And he wasn’t sure quite why, maybe for the sake of vindication or something. But he wanted her to know that he understood where she was coming from, that they were both a bit more alike than she even knew. But most of all he hoped that by making this up to her they could actually become friends.

But what on earth would she like? He decided later after he finished up their crossover he’d go watch some more of her videos and try finding any clues that might be there. He knew she liked really pretty-peaceful-artsy-type games so maybe he could build off of that…

~~~

On the day before the start of the convention, Satya received a package sent to her hotel room. It was a light-blue and gold-trimmed box, sloppily wrapped by someone who obviously had little experience. And on the tag she found out it was from Junkrat.

Unsure of what she might find she tentatively unwrapped the gift. Inside was a homemade playlist of songs, some of which she didn’t recognize while other she did, she was surprised to find a few of her favorite themes on the CD as well. On the CD Junkrat had scribbled out “’Metra’s Jamz” as well as the small smiley face that littered the Junker’s videos. There were a few other things in the box as well, a bound journal (also blue with gold trim), a few gift cards to cafés in the area, a handful of American and Australian candies. But what ultimately caught her eye was a note that was shoved into the bottom of the box instead of on the outside like most letters. It was an apology from Junkrat, and that he hoped they could meet up again sometime during the convention.

She was surprised to say the least, she’d assumed that after their recording that would be the last she ever heard of Junkrat. And now here was this, yet another thing completely unexpected. But also so kind, seldom had someone else been the one to apologize, she was so use to having to apologize to other people for her outbursts and yet Junkrat not only did but went out of his way to make up for it. She wasn’t sure what to think of it all. She did hope that they could see each other again at the convention.

[kathleengage696]

New Post has been published on Power Up for Profits

New Post has been published on http://www.powerupforprofits.com/2018/07/how-to-generate-a-years-worth-of-content-ideas-in-under-an-hour.html

How to Generate a Year's Worth of Content Ideas in Under an Hour

NOTE: GUEST POST

Content marketing is big business. It’s the bridge between you and the people you’re trying to reach, whether you’re looking to inspire, sell, inform, or simply entertain. No other form of marketing comes close to its potential for greatness.

… But it’s also easier said than done, and demands a lot of care and attention. Since you need to find a content direction that suits your particular skills and goals, you have to plan out your efforts, and that stage can all too easily expand to fill as much time as you give it. Before you know it, you’ve spent a week trying to figure out what your first blog post should be.

So don’t give it a week. Necessity may be the mother of all invention, but urgency is the midwife you need to wrap up the delivery. Here’s how to generate enough content ideas to last a full year in less than an hour:

Decide your target results

Maybe you want your content to entertain people enough to keep them returning to your site. Perhaps it should get people to sign up to a course you’re running, or download a guide, or tell a friend about what you do. You might even have a more ambitious goal, like establishing meaningful authority in your field.

Whatever your ultimate goals might be, get them written down, and maybe even circle them a few times so you can’t miss them. For the rest of the hour, any time a thought springs into your mind that doesn’t mesh with a result you’ve identified, purge it. Even if it’s a great idea, it doesn’t belong here. Stay focused.

Note down any relevant terms

What is your content going to be about? Think about your target results, and what your readers might care about, be interested in, or want help with — then start noting down relevant terms in a scatter-gun fashion. There doesn’t need to be any kind of structure.

I call these seed words because down the line you’re going to grow them into fleshed-out pieces of content, but right now they need to be quick and simple. Suppose you wanted to become a top toy seller: you could write down terms like:

Fun

Entertainment

Vacation

School breaks

Games

Classic

Build

They’re incredibly basic, but that’s not a problem. Each one of these terms is viable for keyword research and can be expanded and combined with other terms to create worthwhile ideas.

Look at existing content

Once you’ve got down all the basic terms you can think of, head to the internet to start getting more in-depth. Look for the terms you’ve picked out plus your main topic to see what content already exists and ranks well. Continuing the toy seller example, you could search for “fun toys”, “toys for entertainment”, “vacation toys”, and so on in that vein.

Each query will produce different results, and you’ll quickly start to spot patterns in the best-performing content. Take notes on what you find and write down the patterns you see.

Do some keyword research

Having quickly reviewed the content that’s already out there, it’s time to see how it relates to what people are interested in. Search for the terms you’ve assembled on social media platforms to see what people are saying, what their complaints are, what they’re asking. Put the terms into something like Ubersuggest or Keyword Tool to find out what the most popular searches are.

If questions or topics come up that you didn’t spot in your content research, search for them directly to see what comes up. You might just find that there’s a popular question that hasn’t been answered very well, leaving a golden opportunity for you. Write down anything that seems over-saturated and anything that seems to have some room for fresh content.

Pick some viable content formats

There are standard blog articles, infographics, quizzes, lists, case studies, FAQs, guides, videos, podcasts, and many other formats available to you. Write down all the content types that you could realistically try and might work with your overall brand and intentions.

If quizzes aren’t appropriate for your audience or goals, for instance, then leave them out. Take a look at some successful ecommerce blogs to see what kind of distributions they go for. Variety is great, but you’re not obliged to do everything, and you’re better off sticking with what you’re good at than trying to do it all and ending up with mediocre content.

Match topics to formats

OK, here’s where we bring everything so far together. You should have a list of relevant terms, notes on gaps in the content market, and a set of formats you could use — start lining them up in the most logical way you can.

For example, you could conclude that “toys for school breaks” would work as a list and see that there aren’t all that many great pieces about that topic. If so, there you go, a viable content idea. Are there already plenty of articles about “classic toys”? What about infographics? If there’s room for a high-quality “classic toys” infographic, that’s another idea to note down.

Write down some spec titles

Aiming for a minimum of two pieces of content per month, you’d need 24 ideas in total so far, which is hardly unrealistic. You might have far more than that. If you get fifty minutes in and you’ve got a ton of ideas down, start coming up with some spec titles to make things a little easier to plan.

Spec titles are placeholder titles, so the idea for a list about “toys for school breaks” could be put down as something like “Toys for School Breaks: How to Keep Kids Occupied”. You can get as detailed or as vague as you want at this stage, because you can change the title later. In fact, you may want to for SEO purposes.

An hour isn’t a very long time, but you can get a lot done if you refuse to get stuck on the minor details. Follow this process to rapidly generate coherent content ideas that will serve your overall goals and provide value to your audience, and you’ll have what you need to later build a full content calendar.

Kayleigh Alexandra is a content writer for Micro Startups — a site dedicated to spreading the word about startups and small businesses of all shapes and sizes. Visit the blog for the latest marketing insights from top experts and inspiring entrepreneurial stories. Follow us on Twitter @getmicrostarted.

[richardrobertsimsuccessblog]

How to Write Faster: 10 Crafty Ways to Hit 1,000 Words Per Hour

Yesssss!

The schedule gods have given you a break, and you have a rare hour to actually sit down and write. You could produce an entire blog post! An article! Maybe even a short book chapter! Your research is all done, so all you need to do now is write.

You apply ass to seat, fire up your laptop, start typing …

… and it’s like watching a video in slo-mo.

Once the hour is up, you do a word count — and let’s just say the final tally is less than impressive.

It’s time to pull you out of that rut. Here are ten ways to produce great writing in volume. Using these tactics, I can write a full 1,000-word article in under an hour; I bet they’ll speed up your output as well.

#1. Write Under Pressure (from Your Bladder)

When I’m on fire (or on a deadline) and don’t want to stop writing, I skip bathroom breaks until I’m done. Nothing speeds up your writing like knowing you’re on the verge of having a potty accident.

Being a 48-year-old woman, I have to pee every 30 minutes, so you can bet I’m writing scorchingly fast to make it to the next bathroom break; but if this isn’t the case for you, try quaffing a couple glasses of water before sitting down at your laptop.

Caveat: I am not a doctor and this probably isn’t the healthiest thing to do. In fact, I’ve heard of bladder infections being called “secretary’s disease” because they used to happen frequently to secretaries who held it in while they finished “just one more task.” Use this tactic at your own risk!

#2. Outwit Writer’s Block with This Old Journalist’s Trick

Instead of insisting that your facts and examples be all lined up before you put pen to paper, which leads to over-researching, try writing from your head. Get down what you know, and what you remember from your interviews — and drop in the term “TK” wherever you get stuck and need more information.

TK is journo-speak for “to come,” and it’s used as a placeholder for copy you’ll add later. The beauty of TK is that this combo of letters very rarely occurs in the English language — so once you’re done with your draft, you can do a search on the term in your word processing program and fill in the holes.

You’ll be surprised at how much you already had in your head, and at how much faster you can produce a piece of writing this way!

#3. Use Automation to Skip Two Million Keystrokes

Rewriting the same copy over and over, or playing the cut-and-paste game several times an hour, is a massive time suck. In the two minutes it takes you to type in your bio at the end of a guest post, you could have written the lede paragraph of a new post.

I use an app called TextExpander — which expands custom keyboard shortcuts into frequently used text — for common copy like my email sign-off, bio, mailing address, book titles, HTML codes, and words and phrases I use often in my writing. You can even use TextExpander abbreviations to insert images, the current date, and more. (Similar apps include TypeIt4Me for Mac and Breevy for Windows.)

As an example, when I type in “rren,” this pops up: The Renegade Writer: A Totally Unconventional Guide to Freelance Writing Success. That’s four keystrokes instead of 80!

TextExpander’s stats say I’ve saved myself from typing over two million characters, and have saved over 142 hours. Yes, that’s six solid days I’ve rescued from the abyss of needless typing.

One trick I learned years ago is to be sure the abbreviations you choose are letter combinations you won’t be using for anything else. For example, if you choose the word “address” to expand out into your street address, that will also happen when you write, “This blog post will address common time-wasters.”

Try repeating a letter at the front of the word instead. I use the combo “bbio” for my bio and “uurl” for my website URL.

Imagine how much speedier your writing will be if you can simply type fewer words!

#4. Turn Off the Squiggly Red Lines

You’re all in the zone, writing like your life depends on it — or like you have to pee really bad; see tip #1 — and suddenly you’re stopped in your tracks by a squiggly red line under a word. You pause to check it, and realize the program doesn’t recognize the name of that city in Germany you’re writing about.

So you right-click on “Nuremberg,” select “Add to Dictionary,” and …

… where were you again?

Your word processing program’s spelling and grammar checkers are just okay at checking spelling and grammar, but they are phenomenal at yanking you right out of your flow. I actually don’t mind the spell checker, but when I have the grammar checker on I find myself stopping every few minutes to yell, “Shut up, I meant to write it that way!”

Guess what? You have the power to switch off the checkers so you’re able to write without distraction. You can always run them after you’ve finished your writing if you need to.

#5. Invest in a Faster Pen

Like to write first drafts or take notes by hand? The Hack My Study site did a comparison on which pens are the fastest to write with.

Here’s a spoiler: Fountain pens are best for pure speed, but they’re also pricey and difficult to master. The next best option is a rollerball pen. These are less expensive, but they’re still fast because they create little friction on the writing surface.

The third best for speed is the gel pen, which is less expensive than the rollerball, and coming in dead last is the standard ballpoint pen — you know, the kind you pick up for free at your local bank or dentist’s office.

I can attest to the speed of the rollerball; a few years ago I decided to toss out every junky pen in the house and replace them with a few dozen of my favorite brand, the Pilot Precise V7 Rolling Ball Fine — blue for me, black for my husband, and red just because. That way, whenever I’m in the mood to write a draft or take notes by hand, I can reach into a kitchen drawer or my purse and be assured of pulling out a fast, smooth-writing pen every time.

Stocking up on quality pens is an investment (it costs around $20 for a 12-pack of the Pilot pen I use), but it’s worth it if it helps you write faster. Not to mention you’ll never again waste precious writing seconds furiously scribbling on a sheet of scrap paper to get the ink flowing in your cheap ballpoint.

#6. Do B-Minus Work

One of the chief habits that keeps you stuck in slow motion is editing yourself while writing. There’s nothing like agonizing over the perfect word in the middle of writing a blog post or article to keep you in perpetual “not quite finished” mode. (That habit, of course, is a consequence of perfectionism, another common bugaboo for writers.)

Value done over perfect and let the words fly. Give yourself permission to do B-minus work just to get the ideas down on paper, then go back and edit when you’re done. Chances are, you’ll discover your writing was pretty good to begin with!

The more you resist editing yourself as you write, the easier writing will become. The easier writing becomes, the more confident you’ll be. And the more confident you are in your writing, the quicker the process gets.

#7. Get Zen Before You Pick Up Your Pen

If your writing slows to a virtual crawl because you feel the need to check Facebook or answer an email after every sentence, you’ll love OmmWriter, a program that blocks out the files and applications behind the writing page to minimize distractions.

OmmWriter also offers a selection of calming background colors and music to keep you in Zen mode as you write, plus soothing sounds with each keystroke. I especially love the horizontal cursor (instead of the usual vertical blinking one) that seems to say “Write on” instead of “Stop writing!”

Ommwriter was free when I downloaded it several years ago, but is now a pay-what-you-want app; the average offering is $7.33.

#8. Stop Letting the Schedule Push You Around

Sometimes a little space is all you need to get perspective on a piece of writing that’s giving you fits, so you can get the words out faster.

An example: Last week I had scheduled myself to write an article for my website called “How Writers Waste Time by Saving Time,” about the dangers of cutting corners in your research and interviews. I eked out about 500 (crappy) words at a glacially slow pace before giving up; the article sounded more like a rant than a solid service piece, and I just couldn’t figure out how to fix it.

Then I looked over my ideas for future articles, and one called “Let Future You Handle Your Writing Problems” jumped out at me. I was inspired! I opened a new Word file, and that article — all 900 words — poured out of me in less than 60 minutes.

This week, I revisited the article I had been stuck on, and immediately saw exactly what the problem was and how to resolve it. An hour later, that article was done too.

If you have control over what you write and when you write it, this tip is for you: Stop being a slave to your editorial calendar. When you’re wrestling with a scheduled article or post, let it go. Scan over your editorial calendar and see if there are any post ideas that get you all fired up, and make the switch. You’ll find that the writing flows much faster that way.

#9. Play Games to Boost Your Words Per Minute

A big problem for many writers is that we think faster than we type. If your brain is churning out amazing ideas and perfect turns of phrase at a blazing pace, but you type slower than my husband trying to help me come up with a funny metaphor for something slow — you’ll finish out your allotted writing time with a only fraction of your page filled with, you know, writing.

Learning to type is a lot more fun than it used to be, with many sites offering free games, lessons, and tests to help you up your keyboarding speed. FreeTypingGame.Net has, among other goodies, a game called The Frogs Are Off Their Diet. A similar site, WordGames.com, offers hilariously titled typing challenges like Zombie Typocalypse and Type Type Revolution.

If you often find yourself writing on the go, seek out free apps that will help you learn to type faster on your smartphone or tablet. TapTyping is one example for the iPad, iPhone, and iPod Touch, and Typing Master is an app that works on Android devices.

#10. Gamble with Your Reputation

Feeling competitive? Challenge yourself to write your blog post, article, or book chapter in a (much) shorter amount of time than you normally would.

I did this once while working with a friend at a café and her jaw dropped open as she watched me complete an 800-word article in 30 minutes. (And yes, it was good!)

Even better, bet a friend something juicy that you can do it, or throw down the gauntlet on social media. The more people who see it and the harsher the consequences should you lose, the more likely you are to get those words down on the double.

On the low-pressure end, I also like to do mini challenges: I’ll see how much I can write in the five minutes while my tea steeps … in the two minutes before the microwave dings and my lunch is ready … while I’m on hold with AT&T before someone picks up. It’s incredible how quickly you can write when you have mere minutes to get it done.

Be More Prolific than You Ever Thought Possible

Fab news! It took me years to develop and learn these effective tactics for writing like a bat out of hell, but you can try them all on right now.

Feel free to combine tactics: Turn off the grammar checker, down a couple glasses of water, fire up Ommwriter, and use a text expander app to produce B-minus work.

Chances are you’ll boost your speed many times over, so you can do even more of what you love (hint: writing) every day.

Ready for the writing to simply pour from you? Set your timer and get started!

About the Author: Linda Formichelli has been a full-time freelance writer since 1997. If you’re marketing your butt off and getting nowhere, Linda’s theory is that it’s because you’re doing all the right things—and getting overwhelmed by it all. Instead, check out her upcoming Volume Marketing Challenge for Freelance Writers. During this fun, intense challenge, each week you’ll do the heck out of one type of marketing to reveal the one that will get you the most freelance writing assignments. Registration opens March 3!

How to Write Faster: 10 Crafty Ways to Hit 1,000 Words Per Hour

[annegalliher]

How to Write Faster: 10 Crafty Ways to Hit 1,000 Words Per Hour

Yesssss!

The schedule gods have given you a break, and you have a rare hour to actually sit down and write. You could produce an entire blog post! An article! Maybe even a short book chapter! Your research is all done, so all you need to do now is write.

You apply ass to seat, fire up your laptop, start typing …

… and it’s like watching a video in slo-mo.

Once the hour is up, you do a word count — and let’s just say the final tally is less than impressive.

It’s time to pull you out of that rut. Here are ten ways to produce great writing in volume. Using these tactics, I can write a full 1,000-word article in under an hour; I bet they’ll speed up your output as well.

#1. Write Under Pressure (from Your Bladder)

When I’m on fire (or on a deadline) and don’t want to stop writing, I skip bathroom breaks until I’m done. Nothing speeds up your writing like knowing you’re on the verge of having a potty accident.

Being a 48-year-old woman, I have to pee every 30 minutes, so you can bet I’m writing scorchingly fast to make it to the next bathroom break; but if this isn’t the case for you, try quaffing a couple glasses of water before sitting down at your laptop.

Caveat: I am not a doctor and this probably isn’t the healthiest thing to do. In fact, I’ve heard of bladder infections being called “secretary’s disease” because they used to happen frequently to secretaries who held it in while they finished “just one more task.” Use this tactic at your own risk!

#2. Outwit Writer’s Block with This Old Journalist’s Trick

Instead of insisting that your facts and examples be all lined up before you put pen to paper, which leads to over-researching, try writing from your head. Get down what you know, and what you remember from your interviews — and drop in the term “TK” wherever you get stuck and need more information.

TK is journo-speak for “to come,” and it’s used as a placeholder for copy you’ll add later. The beauty of TK is that this combo of letters very rarely occurs in the English language — so once you’re done with your draft, you can do a search on the term in your word processing program and fill in the holes.

You’ll be surprised at how much you already had in your head, and at how much faster you can produce a piece of writing this way!

#3. Use Automation to Skip Two Million Keystrokes

Rewriting the same copy over and over, or playing the cut-and-paste game several times an hour, is a massive time suck. In the two minutes it takes you to type in your bio at the end of a guest post, you could have written the lede paragraph of a new post.

I use an app called TextExpander — which expands custom keyboard shortcuts into frequently used text — for common copy like my email sign-off, bio, mailing address, book titles, HTML codes, and words and phrases I use often in my writing. You can even use TextExpander abbreviations to insert images, the current date, and more. (Similar apps include TypeIt4Me for Mac and Breevy for Windows.)

As an example, when I type in “rren,” this pops up: The Renegade Writer: A Totally Unconventional Guide to Freelance Writing Success. That’s four keystrokes instead of 80!

TextExpander’s stats say I’ve saved myself from typing over two million characters, and have saved over 142 hours. Yes, that’s six solid days I’ve rescued from the abyss of needless typing.

One trick I learned years ago is to be sure the abbreviations you choose are letter combinations you won’t be using for anything else. For example, if you choose the word “address” to expand out into your street address, that will also happen when you write, “This blog post will address common time-wasters.”

Try repeating a letter at the front of the word instead. I use the combo “bbio” for my bio and “uurl” for my website URL.

Imagine how much speedier your writing will be if you can simply type fewer words!

#4. Turn Off the Squiggly Red Lines

You’re all in the zone, writing like your life depends on it — or like you have to pee really bad; see tip #1 — and suddenly you’re stopped in your tracks by a squiggly red line under a word. You pause to check it, and realize the program doesn’t recognize the name of that city in Germany you’re writing about.

So you right-click on “Nuremberg,” select “Add to Dictionary,” and …

… where were you again?

Your word processing program’s spelling and grammar checkers are just okay at checking spelling and grammar, but they are phenomenal at yanking you right out of your flow. I actually don’t mind the spell checker, but when I have the grammar checker on I find myself stopping every few minutes to yell, “Shut up, I meant to write it that way!”

Guess what? You have the power to switch off the checkers so you’re able to write without distraction. You can always run them after you’ve finished your writing if you need to.

#5. Invest in a Faster Pen

Like to write first drafts or take notes by hand? The Hack My Study site did a comparison on which pens are the fastest to write with.

Here’s a spoiler: Fountain pens are best for pure speed, but they’re also pricey and difficult to master. The next best option is a rollerball pen. These are less expensive, but they’re still fast because they create little friction on the writing surface.

The third best for speed is the gel pen, which is less expensive than the rollerball, and coming in dead last is the standard ballpoint pen — you know, the kind you pick up for free at your local bank or dentist’s office.

I can attest to the speed of the rollerball; a few years ago I decided to toss out every junky pen in the house and replace them with a few dozen of my favorite brand, the Pilot Precise V7 Rolling Ball Fine — blue for me, black for my husband, and red just because. That way, whenever I’m in the mood to write a draft or take notes by hand, I can reach into a kitchen drawer or my purse and be assured of pulling out a fast, smooth-writing pen every time.

Stocking up on quality pens is an investment (it costs around $20 for a 12-pack of the Pilot pen I use), but it’s worth it if it helps you write faster. Not to mention you’ll never again waste precious writing seconds furiously scribbling on a sheet of scrap paper to get the ink flowing in your cheap ballpoint.

#6. Do B-Minus Work

One of the chief habits that keeps you stuck in slow motion is editing yourself while writing. There’s nothing like agonizing over the perfect word in the middle of writing a blog post or article to keep you in perpetual “not quite finished” mode. (That habit, of course, is a consequence of perfectionism, another common bugaboo for writers.)

Value done over perfect and let the words fly. Give yourself permission to do B-minus work just to get the ideas down on paper, then go back and edit when you’re done. Chances are, you’ll discover your writing was pretty good to begin with!

The more you resist editing yourself as you write, the easier writing will become. The easier writing becomes, the more confident you’ll be. And the more confident you are in your writing, the quicker the process gets.

#7. Get Zen Before You Pick Up Your Pen

If your writing slows to a virtual crawl because you feel the need to check Facebook or answer an email after every sentence, you’ll love OmmWriter, a program that blocks out the files and applications behind the writing page to minimize distractions.

OmmWriter also offers a selection of calming background colors and music to keep you in Zen mode as you write, plus soothing sounds with each keystroke. I especially love the horizontal cursor (instead of the usual vertical blinking one) that seems to say “Write on” instead of “Stop writing!”

Ommwriter was free when I downloaded it several years ago, but is now a pay-what-you-want app; the average offering is $7.33.

#8. Stop Letting the Schedule Push You Around

Sometimes a little space is all you need to get perspective on a piece of writing that’s giving you fits, so you can get the words out faster.

An example: Last week I had scheduled myself to write an article for my website called “How Writers Waste Time by Saving Time,” about the dangers of cutting corners in your research and interviews. I eked out about 500 (crappy) words at a glacially slow pace before giving up; the article sounded more like a rant than a solid service piece, and I just couldn’t figure out how to fix it.

Then I looked over my ideas for future articles, and one called “Let Future You Handle Your Writing Problems” jumped out at me. I was inspired! I opened a new Word file, and that article — all 900 words — poured out of me in less than 60 minutes.

This week, I revisited the article I had been stuck on, and immediately saw exactly what the problem was and how to resolve it. An hour later, that article was done too.

If you have control over what you write and when you write it, this tip is for you: Stop being a slave to your editorial calendar. When you’re wrestling with a scheduled article or post, let it go. Scan over your editorial calendar and see if there are any post ideas that get you all fired up, and make the switch. You’ll find that the writing flows much faster that way.

#9. Play Games to Boost Your Words Per Minute

A big problem for many writers is that we think faster than we type. If your brain is churning out amazing ideas and perfect turns of phrase at a blazing pace, but you type slower than my husband trying to help me come up with a funny metaphor for something slow — you’ll finish out your allotted writing time with a only fraction of your page filled with, you know, writing.

Learning to type is a lot more fun than it used to be, with many sites offering free games, lessons, and tests to help you up your keyboarding speed. FreeTypingGame.Net has, among other goodies, a game called The Frogs Are Off Their Diet. A similar site, WordGames.com, offers hilariously titled typing challenges like Zombie Typocalypse and Type Type Revolution.

If you often find yourself writing on the go, seek out free apps that will help you learn to type faster on your smartphone or tablet. TapTyping is one example for the iPad, iPhone, and iPod Touch, and Typing Master is an app that works on Android devices.

#10. Gamble with Your Reputation

Feeling competitive? Challenge yourself to write your blog post, article, or book chapter in a (much) shorter amount of time than you normally would.

I did this once while working with a friend at a café and her jaw dropped open as she watched me complete an 800-word article in 30 minutes. (And yes, it was good!)

Even better, bet a friend something juicy that you can do it, or throw down the gauntlet on social media. The more people who see it and the harsher the consequences should you lose, the more likely you are to get those words down on the double.

On the low-pressure end, I also like to do mini challenges: I’ll see how much I can write in the five minutes while my tea steeps … in the two minutes before the microwave dings and my lunch is ready … while I’m on hold with AT&T before someone picks up. It’s incredible how quickly you can write when you have mere minutes to get it done.

Be More Prolific than You Ever Thought Possible

Fab news! It took me years to develop and learn these effective tactics for writing like a bat out of hell, but you can try them all on right now.

Feel free to combine tactics: Turn off the grammar checker, down a couple glasses of water, fire up Ommwriter, and use a text expander app to produce B-minus work.

Chances are you’ll boost your speed many times over, so you can do even more of what you love (hint: writing) every day.

Ready for the writing to simply pour from you? Set your timer and get started!

About the Author: Linda Formichelli has been a full-time freelance writer since 1997. If you’re marketing your butt off and getting nowhere, Linda’s theory is that it’s because you’re doing all the right things—and getting overwhelmed by it all. Instead, check out her upcoming Volume Marketing Challenge for Freelance Writers. During this fun, intense challenge, each week you’ll do the heck out of one type of marketing to reveal the one that will get you the most freelance writing assignments. Registration opens March 3!