#also fun fact about benrey: the only reason I have him is because of a divorce

[bigeloo]

If u fr have a axolotl can I see a pic of them :D

I don't take pictures that often so I had to scour through my phone camera, but here's Benrey, in all his silly glory.

When he goes outside of his little hideout cave, he loves hanging out either on top of his tank plants or on top of his hideout.

And here's some more of shoots with him

[anons-has-hlvrai-aus]

@snowyvoid

Okay so I think I have enough I can say about the this AU’s fic without massive spoilers other than vague implications about the sort of event that will transpire (not that this is saying much since the story is only a chapter in and we haven’t even gotten to the part where Gordon finds out he’s an alien now but I digress) but just in case I’ll put my whole stream of consciousness ramble under a read more. And I really do mean stream of consciousness, I apologize in advance if everything seems scattered. I am not very good at explaining myself in essay length posts, and I’ve lost so many good talking points on this post from shitty Internet that I don’t have the energy for more edits.

(Also please remember that in the context of HLVRAI and by extension this story that The Player is not specifically Real Life Wayne.)

Gordon Freeman in the Metamorphosis AU is a complicated person.

So let’s start with this: he is a husk whose personality and backstory are wholly influenced by the actions of the player, enough so that his behavior after the game has ended is reflective of the Player’s play style. It is something he is actively aware of, and it is something he cannot control.

It is BECAUSE Gordon is sculpted by the player that it’s hard to say they’re very different from each other outside the fact that one is a real person and the other is a reflection of the ‘real’ person’s actions. The Player could turn off the game and leave it to its own devices. Gordon doesn’t GET that choice, he’s stuck there with the consequences of the Player’s actions, and everything that happened to him is now reality.

The only reason there is a Post Game for these characters at all, and the only reason the theater and the heist happen and are canon to this AU, is because Gordon Freeman had to break the Player’s computer and demand the ending HE deserves now that he has control of himself, he deserves to enjoy that freedom. It’s one thing if it was just the Science Team, but now that Gordon has control it is his problem too.

And his very first action, his first taste of control, gets him what he wanted.

But without the Player, he now has to make his own choices. Gordon Freeman is a human whose only reference for how humans behave is based on how he was trained. And he acts on those impulses crafted by the Player’s inputs: He swears a lot, he is anxious about EVERY situation because the player never really gave him time to fully develop his personality for a ‘zero-stress environment’ (pre-ResCas can’t even count because Gordon was made to be stressed about being LATE for WORK), and most importantly he believes himself to be in the right.

Gordon Freeman was the vessel of the Player, and the Player was ALWAYS right, even if the ‘right’ decision required being convinced to do so beforehand.

The Player MUST have had a good reason to keep the truth of his reality a secret to all his friends, so Gordon does too. He even comes up with rules to justify his action.

The Player must have had a good reason to hate Benrey, so Gordon does too, even if he has to craft his own justification.

The Player must have had a good reason to shoot those people, so Gordon does too.

If the Player was always right, and if the Player is now gone, then that means Gordon is always right.

Now Gordon has to make important decisions, he has to keep everything in check. He can’t control the world around him, but he can control the actions of his friends. All the big events happen at Gordon’s house, because he can make the ground rules. The one or two times it happened elsewhere, something terrible happened, so obviously he has to keep the events at home to avoid total chaos. He has to control how his friends behave.

Dr Coomer, you can’t jump through the window for fun.

No, Bubby, you can’t just set things on fire.

Tommy, I love you, but you REALLY shouldn’t drink so much soda.

Darnold, I don’t think the Evil Flavor is a good idea.

The Post Game was (mostly) made with a happy ending in mind, because Gordon demanded it from the Player. The Post Game can handle whatever the Science Team throws at it, but it still isn’t enough. Even in a world that doesn’t really have consequences anymore (at least until Benrey shows up again) Gordon NEEDS to maintain normalcy and NEEDS to maintain control.

The Player was kind of a dick, so Gordon is too.

At least the Player does it intentionally.

Gordon believes that he’s doing the right thing by being controlling, and it’s going to bite him in the ass.

Gordon has his own contrived rules about what makes a GOOD person and a BAD person. He formed these rules based on how Benrey made him feel, compared to other people. Benrey was intrusive, he got in the way, and his playful teasing was interpreted as antagonistic to Gordon. Benrey was weird. Benrey was BAD.

Skeletons, Sweet Voice, shapeshifting, it’s all BAD.

But now Benrey is back. And now Gordon l has to deal with the fact that he isn’t human anymore, or maybe was never human to begin with. His two choices are that either Gordon is bad now, because Benrey and anything involving him is BAD…or that Gordon is still inherently GOOD because he’s the Player’s vessel, which means Benrey can be GOOD too.

So now you have an exchange: Benrey teaches Gordon how to control what makes him BAD, so nobody gets hurts. Gordon teaches Benrey how to be GOOD, by making him normal, because compared to the rest of his friends Benrey is just TOO WEIRD.

But Benrey was already trying to be GOOD. He waited outside Gordon’s house to not scare him, and he got the Food List so Gordon wouldn’t need to scramble to figure out dinner for Movie Night. He waited four years to have his backstory developed, and from there he believed that he and Gordon were friends. He can be nice, he can be helpful, he be a friend.

But it’s not enough, because Benrey is BAD. He needs to go through more hoops because Benrey fits Gordon’s definition of BAD. He has to be normal.

Gordon is horrible hypocrite: The Sweet Voice is BAD, but not if it’s Coomer or Sunkist doing it. Bootboys and anybody ever associated with them are BAD, except for Forzen and Adrian and the other guys trying to sue the government right now. Killing is BAD, but not if Gordon does it. Everybody needs to help Gordon if he has problems, but he doesn’t need to help you in return.

Gordon, despite being flesh and blood in the world he exists in, still shares the same apathy for other people’s feelings that the Player does for the people of this world. Because that’s what he knows.

In a way, Gordon knows he’s wrong about something, but to realize WHAT he is wrong about and WHY would require him to accept that he isn’t a 100% good person. And that the Player wasn’t a 100% good person, either. And that his idea of what is GOOD and BAD only fits his own desires, and that controlling his friends to be normal is kinda fucked up (you shouldn’t make your friends feel bad about being themselves, Gordon).

And Gordon is fucked up.

He knows he is fucked up, but he doesn’t make any substantial changes to himself unless it’s to act more human.

He went to therapy for his trauma with Black Mesa, but not for the trauma of being a Video Game Protagonist after the video game has ended.

It’s been four years since the ResCas, there are stories and character arcs that happened before the events of Metamorphosis AU that the readers will never get to know entirely, and yet Gordon is still the same.

But who else stayed the same? Who else doesn’t know what happened in those 4 years? Benrey. He slept and played video games the whole time, all this is new to him like it is new to us. And he is stagnant, just like Gordon.

Benrey has an excuse for staying the same, Gordon doesn’t. Gordon had four years to meet people and change, but he refuses to do so because he changed so much when the Player was the one in control.

He can’t even fully enjoy his Post Game. The Player made it clear that they WOULD find a way to get Half Life 2 working with their AIs, and once that happens…Gordon will lose control again. It’s understandable, but trying to control everything will only make it more painful when he loses it all again.

Trying to maintain control makes Gordon unhappy.

Gordon is uncomfortable with his reality, and he keeps trying to change other people to be comfortable. Maybe if everything is normal (because Gordon at least knows what normal is supposed to look like) then maybe he will be happy, too, for however long he has before the Player returns.

Benrey is already comfortable with his reality, and any attempts to change himself should be to accommodate himself to life outside of Black Mesa, NOT to make Gordon feel more comfortable. But he WILL try to change, because he wants to be a friend now. And it will hurt him.

For anybody to get better, Gordon can’t be allowed to stay stagnant. He needs to become uncomfortable.

Gordon really, truly, fully believes that he’s doing the right thing by being controlling.

It WILL bite him in the ass.

Trying to make himself more comfortable causes more discomfort for his friends, and eventually somebody is going to have to tell him “You’re an asshole.”

And he’ll try to tell him what he knows, how they won’t have this happy ending forever.

And they won’t care.

An explanation is not an excuse. They are here for a good time, not a long time.

And Gordon will be uncomfortable.

And Gordon will have to change.

The Player could never be expected to change. They are a real person who has problems greater than some silly video game characters.

Gordon Freeman is a real person too, but the problems the Player couldn’t care to worry about are much greater for Gordon because he, a mortal man by the standards of his world, actually has to deal with the those problems. And he can’t. He doesn’t know how, he was created to become whoever the Player portrays him to be.

But he was still created to change. From the moment the title screen came up, to the moment the credit rolled, Gordon was changing.

He needs to change again.

He needs to learn that he’s kinda fucked up.

He needs to learn to accept this life, however short it is.

He needs to let his friends be happy and be themselves.

He needs to stop trying to control everything.

He needs to learn that he can be better than whatever the Player turned him into…that he can be kind and empathetic. Even if it all gets undone by the time that uncaring god returns, Gordon deserves a chance to change himself for the better.

And besides, even if it all gets undone…he can still change again.

And besides, who’s to say the Player will actually return again.

Gordon is fucked up, but he deserves to change for the better…even if that means getting turned into a funny worm on a string to get to that point.

Hi! You made a really good post about how Gordon should be written as more fucked up/morally questionable more often which I really agree with! Your post mainly focused on the perspective of hlvrai as a real functioning world, but even if you take into account the idea that he's a guy playing a video game he's...still kind of morally weird? Like he never tells ANYONE it's a game of his own volition, it takes Coomer trying to murder him and then spelling out that he knew before the finale for Gordon to admit it to him and the Gnome knew from the start. Providing the ACAB stream now seems to be noncanon, he never tells Bubby, Tommy, Benrey, anyone the truth of his existence. He is lying to them throughout the whole series under the pretense of 'not fucking up the ai' (said in the intro to the first stream) even when they begin to question their environment.

Then in HLAGE, he is clearly shown to care about the Gnome, but not enough to 'save' him. He still wants to complete the video game, he still wants to win, and even if he feels bad about it, he still goes through the motions of ending the challenge. The implication seems to be that he kinda views the Gnome as lesser/less tangible/less important than 'real' people and his affection doesn't really constitute viewing them as equals or worth putting in effort to save. Which seems to be an important trait, since based on the hl2vrai trailer it would seem he didn't come back for the science team like Coomer asked him to.

oh my god!!!!! this!!! this!!!!! he is basically the equivalent of a god to these AI, he controls their ability to think and exist, and he just. god, i dont know how to explain it. it makes me think of monika from ddlc maybe, how she's dependent on the player, and the players want to interact with her. she simply Does Not exist when you are not playing her game. and you, the player (and the equivalent of gordon/the guy playing hlvrai in this metaphor), obviously cannot play the game at all times and keep the dialogue going, but there is. a need to do so depending on your opinions on monika. once an AI becomes aware does it become human and have human needs?? coomer very much so seems to have become at least contextually "human", feeling pain when the game gets turned off, basically being a tamagotchi, etc etc.

but even then does humanity denote whether you deserve to be treated with care??? i have way too many thoughts about all of this.

i feel like gordon/the player probably would not take everything that the science team says seriously. i mean, going back to the ddlc metaphor, after playing the game (if you did), did you ever go back after you finished it? or did you end up getting the proper ending and deleting monika's files? did you do all the things you were supposed to, because yes, obviously it is just a game. monika is not actually a sentient AI and cannot feel. she is just code written that way. and maybe gordon thinks that that's as far as the science team's consciousness goes. it's just a game, they cannot ACTUALLY feel pain, they're just coded to act sentient, etc etc. gordon (probably) does not actually realize the level of sentience and feeling the science team has. maybe he does put them into some nice little game after hlvrai, but then again. He'd probably just never open the game again.

the gnome is probably a prime example of the way a human would react if they were left inside of a game, aware but not existing, and left alone for years. the science team was really fucking nice to gordon despite their awareness.

this post is about the fictional player/gordon. this is not about wayne. obvious point to make but i feel like somebody may get confused.

the mentions of ddlc are very affected by the fact that i played that game when i was WAY too young and felt so fucking bad about leaving monika alone, which lead to me playing the game almost daily for months and never deleting her file (partially due to me not actually knowing how to delete files but. the other reason is more important now.) i have autism and it makes me care VERY much about inanimate/nonhuman objects. i feel bad for the science team, okay.

basically, gordon is morally grey because Oh My God he's an awful person to these AI, but also wouldn't you do the same thing? wouldn't you just close the game thinking "oh yeah that's just how the characters are coded. lol they'll be fiiiine" and not have any second thoughts? and is gordon a bad person for doing that same thing with a modded half-life? yes and no.

hlvrai is the AI forgiving gordon for leaving them alone, hlage is the AI hating gordon for leaving them alone. and i think thats why the gnome has more presence in (the players) reality? like, the gnome wants gordon to know and feel exactly what he felt. whereas the science team, obviously excluding the coomer and benry boss fights, never really thought to HATE hate gordon. the science team is monika from ddlc and the gnome is AM from i have no mouth but i must scream. (this point also connects to an idea i have about haunted houses/homes. a haunted house is a house that hates you, a home is a house that loves you. barely connect but. it's a cool idea to add i guess??)

bleh. i cannot put all of these thoughts in order, and it's really hard to entirely explain what i mean. i hope this suffices??? thank you so much for the ask though. i really appreciate being able to talk about my interests with others lol. in conclusion, i really want to make character designs for the science team after they have been left to rot for a while in half-life. maybe they would grow mold or something.

(post that was mentioned at the start of the ask)

[melonsharks]

you said you would be okay with showing us the thought process behind your homestuck au designs is it ok to still ask about that /gen

oh my god YES i love infodumping OK i made quick like notes over the designs but ill write them down too in case they’re hard to read. This is gonna be a lil long so, it’ll be under this read more.

OK fire things first, Gordon and Benrey were the easiest, so. When I start the trollization (lol) process for certain characters, the first step is always a symbol. (If its a fantroll the first step is theme, but characters Im turning into trolls already have their own things going on, so its all about finding a good symbol.)

For Gordon, it was insanely straightforward use of the lambda symbol, I integrated it in a few parts of the outfit, it was easy. Not a lot to say there.

For BENREY, I only used the INSIDE of the BM logo because I thought it looked like a helmet and I thought it fit them more personally that way. Using the whole BM logo would have just made it. Black Mesa. Not Benrey. SO! Little helmet looking thing. I thought it fit!

NOW TOMMIE was so fun. I decided to use the alchemical symbol for Pyrite, or Fools Gold. This fit for many reasons.

The name Fool’s Gold was interesting cuz Tommy is considered something like that i guESS by the people around him, and he is associated with yellow (so like gold + i made him a goldblood SO.)

BUT pyrite was used in the 16th and 17th centuries to ignite the sparks needed to use guns! People thought it was gold, because it looks remarkably like it, so. To me that is like. An underestimated metal that actually packs a punch. Just like Tommy :)

The fact that it was used for guns also helps, since Tommy is the best with guns in the team! It all worked out.

Dr. Coomer was also fun. He has my favorite design, I think. He was the hardest to pin down, but it all worked out when I found the alchemical symbol for Hour (as in time.)

Its a cute symbol and my first thought was that Dr. Coomer would,,,love it JDBDMFH but my second thought was the fact that Gordon relied (maybe incorrectly) on Dr. Coomer to tell the team how many hours they had left to reach the lambda lab! Dr. Coomer’s classpect was one of the first chosen so this actually also just happened to work out with that… Its pretty straightforward too.

I included the symbol in the little heart shapes of his horns (i love them so much), his belt, and a little bit of his coat with the rounder collar! The symbol also kinda looking the way I draw his hair is just a fun plus. So much fun to design. I really think it suits him!

And then there’s Bubbie, who is probably second most straightforward next to Gordon. The alchemical symbol chosen for Bubby was the one for Hot Fire. Gestures vaguely. Yeah, that’s Bubbie.

Its all sharp triangles, so of course I included the symbol in their horns, but also in their vest. Its ALL triangles. subtle enough to just be a sweater though HDNDHD but. The symbol is there. It was perfect fit.

So there is everyone. When I finish designing G-man, Forzen, and Darnold Ill write down notes for them too in case anyone is interested in those. For now this is all I have. Thanks so much for asking!! I love rambling about this junk. I put a lot of thought into everything I do SO JDKDJDM anyways yeah thanks!

[waitineedaname]

"Accidently ending a phone call with your roommate with a casual ‘I love you’ seems like a very good reason to move out"

For benrey @ gordon?

“And can you pick up some oat milk while you’re there? I just realized I’m out.”

“Man, oat milk freaks me out,” Benrey said, pushing their shopping cart towards the dairy section anyway. “Like, do oats even have, uh. Others?”

“Others?” There was a beat of silence as Gordon attempted to figure out exactly what the hell Benrey was talking about. “You mean udders?”

“Yeah. Cow things.”

“Dude, that’s not how oat milk works.” Gordon’s laugh made Benrey’s cheap phone speakers crackle.

“Then how does it work? Huh? Mister scientician?” Benrey propped the phone between their ear and shoulder as they opened the fridge door to grab the brand of oat milk he knew Gordon liked.

“I don’t fucking know! I’m not a goddamn milk scientist.” Even through a phone call, Benrey could hear the smile on Gordon’s face. “They squeeze juice out of the oats or smush them into a paste or something. I don’t know. Stop making me think about how oat milk works, it’s going to make me not want to drink it anymore.”

“Cool, so I’ll buy milk with extra lactose then.”

“You will not, unless you wanna deal with me laying on the couch complaining all afternoon because my stomach hurts.”

“You do that anyway.”

“Fuck off, man.” Gordon’s tone of voice didn’t carry any bite to it. “Alright, I gotta go, I’m almost at the end of the queue to pick Joshie up. I’ll see you back at home, okay?”

“Mhm. Love you, bye.” Benrey hung up and shoved their phone back in their jacket pocket. They unfolded the shopping list and attempted to decipher the mix of their own chicken scratch, Gordon’s doctor handwriting, and the occasional misspelled request for snacks in Joshua’s six year old handwriting. Okay, they had to get those frozen chicken nuggets Joshua liked, another pack of seltzer, a can of black beans since Gordon was planning to cook dinner tonight-

Thinking about Gordon made them suddenly freeze in place as they realized what they’d just done. Did… Did they just say “love you” on the phone with Gordon?

Aw, fuck.

They’d been living with Gordon for a while now. It hadn’t always been an easy thing for either of them. When they’d been freshly respawned, both of them had been jumpy around each other at best, and at worst, they were at each other’s throats trying to kill each other. It took a long time and a lot of uncomfortable conversations for them to get to the point where they could interact without an unbearable amount of tension. From there, they were able to start rebuilding an actual friendship. Turns out, they got along a lot better when they weren’t in mortal danger. Who knew!

Living with Gordon involved a lot of rules, both spoken and unspoken. They involved stuff like “don’t ask weird questions about Gordon’s feet,” “if one of them gets too angry, walk it off instead of actually fighting,” and “no gross body horror in front of Gordon’s son.” It also involved shit like “please for the love of god don’t put empty juice cartons back in the fridge” and “don’t stain the carpets with Sweet Voice, this is a rental and that security deposit is worth getting back.” So far, Benrey hadn’t had too much trouble following the rules. They had been a security guard, after all; following rules was supposed to be their thing. Besides, they were a low price to pay to get to spend time with Gordon.

One of those early unspoken rules, however, had been “keep the flirting to a minimum.” That one had been a little tricky at first, but it had been necessary, especially back when they still weren’t on the best of terms. Benrey learned that when Gordon was already worked up, blowing a kiss did the opposite of diffusing the situation. This was news to Benrey. Who didn’t love a little kiss from their buddies? Lame.

That had been an early rule, though, and one that had kind of faded into the background over time. The longer they lived together, the more physically affectionate they both got, and a little domesticity is only to be expected when you share a household. It was nice. Comfortable.

And then Benrey had to go and say “I love you” on the phone. What the fuck.

That had to be crossing a line, right? Gordon was fine with some handholding and some cuddling and they’d make dinner together once a week, but this had to be pushing it.

Benrey went through the rote motions of buying the rest of their groceries without really paying attention, too busy panicking. There was only one option. They had to move out. This was fine. This was totally fine. They could just crash on Tommy’s couch until they find a place of their own because there was no way this wasn’t going to make Gordon freak the fuck out. As much as they loved fucking with Gordon, they’d learned there was the fun kind of freaking him out and the bad kind of freaking him out. They were fairly certain this fell into the bad category.

By the time that they were walking up to their apartment door, they were already mentally packing up all their things, resigned to their fate. They were so stuck in their own head that Joshua barreling into their legs when they opened the door actually startled them.

“Benny!” Joshua cheered, clinging to their jeans.

“Hey, li’l dude.” Benrey carefully tried to push past the kid without tripping over him on the way to the kitchen. Tragically, that’s where Gordon also happened to be.

“Hey, what took you so long?” Gordon asked, taking some of the grocery bags from them. “I thought you’d gotten lost in Costco again.”

Benrey grunted noncommittally and started putting away groceries instead of answering Gordon. Maybe if they didn’t look at him, they could avoid confronting whatever Gordon’s reaction was. Yeah, definitely, this seemed like a sustainable, reasonable decision to make. Yep.

“Dude.” Gordon’s hand suddenly appeared on their forearm. Benrey stared at it, then looked up at Gordon’s concerned face. “Are you okay?”

“Huh?”

“You’re putting carrots in the utensil drawer.”

Benrey looked down at their hands again. Oh. So they were.

“You’ve been acting weird ever since you got back from the store,” Gordon said, gently taking the carrots away from them. “Did something happen? You wanna talk about it?”

Benrey screwed their mouth up. No, they didn’t want to talk about it, but learning how to talk through things like adults was something they both had agreed to do. That had been a rule introduced by an exasperated Tommy, sick of mediating their bullshit. So, they sighed and looked away while Gordon put the carrots in the vegetable drawer of the fridge. “I was thinking about how I’ve gotta move out.”

“What?” Gordon stood up too fast and smacked his head on the freezer door. He swore loudly, and Benrey reached over to hand him a bag of frozen peas to put on the back of his head. “Thanks. But also, what? Since when are you moving out?”

“Uh, since now?” Benrey said, confused. Shouldn’t it be obvious?

“Why?”

“‘Cause I said I love you on the phone? Dummy? You, uh, a fucking old man got bad brain disease, not remembering things?” They said, defaulting to picking on Gordon to avoid focusing on anything else. Gordon stared blankly at them for a moment, then, against all odds, a grin spread across his face.

“Benrey,” He said, and Benrey decided he didn't like that tone one bit, “Are you embarrassed?”

“Whuh? No.” There was no way they could be embarrassed. That definitely wasn't what was going on here. Nope. Not a bit, “...Maybe.”

“Dude, you don't have to be embarrassed about that.” Gordon laughed. “Do you know how often I've said stupid Freudian slips? I called my sixth grade teacher mom once and wanted to change my name and move to Canada. I've been there.”

“It wasn't, uh… It wasn't too much? Not crossing a line or anything?”

“Nah, man. It was kinda sweet.” Gordon flashed him a smile and finished putting away the last of the groceries.

“Cool.” Benrey relaxed, letting go of the tension that had been building in their shoulders. “That's good ‘cause I was gonna fight you for custody of your Xbox.” Gordon snorted.

“Good fucking luck, you’re too much of a Playstation guy to win that case.”

The evening passed relatively uneventfully from there. Gordon enlisted Benrey’s help in cooking dinner, and Joshua eagerly told them all about the cool dinosaur facts he’d learned in class that day. They went through the easy routine of watching just one episode (which of course always turned into several episodes) of Joshua’s choice of TV, then Benrey helped wash up in the kitchen while Gordon put Josh to bed. Gordon joined them as they finished washing dishes and squeezed Benrey’s shoulder affectionately when they were done.

“Alright, man, I think I’m gonna head to bed early tonight.”

Benrey nodded. “Cool. I’ll be quiet.”

“Don’t worry about it. G’night, dude.”

“Night, Gordon.”

“Oh, and Benrey?” Gordon paused in the doorway of his bedroom and waited until Benrey glanced up at him. Gordon smiled. “Love you too.”

He shut the door before Benrey could respond, leaving Benrey to stare blankly at the door. They let out a groan, careful not to wake Joshua. Oh, Gordon was going to be the death of them.

[passp0rtguardian]

Oh! Can you do something domestic with Gordon Tommy and Benrey? Could be romantic or platonic whatever you prefer! Just have fun with it if you decide you want to! ^v^

((AUGH I MEANT TO RESPOND TO THIS EARLIER BUT I WAS WATCHING RTV'S AI DUNGEON STREAM I'M SORRY))

--

If there was one thing Gordon wasn't expecting, it was to be woken up at near four in the morning by his very excited-looking boyfriends.

"psst- feetman- feetman wake up bro," he heard Benrey whispering before aggressively shaking him, making him groan.

"Benrey-! Duh-don't be so aggressive-!" Gordon also heard Tommy's voice, whisper-shouting at Benrey.

"Urrgh, both of you can stop, I'm awake," Gordon muttered, rubbing at his eyes as he slowly sat up. "What do you two want? It's nearly four in the morning, man."

"ice cream." Benrey stated with confidence, practically bouncing on the bed as they stared at Gordon with wide eyes.

"Wh- ice cream? You woke me up for ice cream?" Gordon said with a sigh, running a hand along his face.

"Y-yeah! We want ice cream!" Tommy said. Really, the only reason Gordon didn't just go back to sleep was because Tommy also wanted ice cream.

".... Alright, whatever, I'll get ice cream for you two- I'm pretty sure I still have some from when Joshy came over for the week anyways." Gordon grumbled, getting up and stretching before making his way to the kitchen.

"oh hell yeah ice cream," Benrey said triumphantly, letting out a short burst of high-pitched yellow sweet voice.

"What flavor- what flavor is it?" Tommy asked curiously, following Gordon like something akin to a lost puppy.

"Joshy likes moose tracks, so probably that." Gordon responded, looking in the freezer for the carton of ice cream that was never finished.

"moose tracks? like the uhhh. the bear?" Benrey asked, making Gordon snort.

"Moose... aren't bears, buddy." Gordon laughed as he pulled the carton out of the freezer, turning the water on in the sink so it could warm up as he grabbed a spoon.

"nuh uh they're totally bears. brown and big bro." Benrey said, nodding matter-of-factly and only making Gordon laugh harder.

"They're not bears! C'mon Tommy you gotta agree with me here!" Gordon said through laughter.

Tommy seemed thoughtful for a moment, as if he was thinking really hard about that. "I-I don't know, Mr. Freeman, I think- I think moose can be considered bears! They are brown and- and big!"

Gordon couldn't help the incredulous cackle that left him at that. "Oh my god, you have to be saying that just to spite me!"

"nah tommy's saying scientific facts bro. he's smart science man." Benrey said, grinning like a little shit.

"I cannot believe you two," Gordon snorted, shaking his head as he got two bowls of ice cream for Benrey and Tommy, putting spoons in each and handing it to them.

"I just- I just don't think you can handle, the uh, the truth, Mr. Freeman!" Tommy said with a smile, looking curious about the ice cream.

Benrey, on the other hand, just shovelled a huge spoonful of the ice cream into their mouth right off the bat.

"Benrey!" Gordon gasped, trying and failing to smack the spoon away. "Don't eat it like that! You'll get brain freeze!"

"What's- what's brain freeze?" Tommy asked, sounding so genuinely confused it made Gordon do a double take.

"You- seriously don't know what brain freeze is?" Gordon said, his eyes wide. Tommy just shook his head. "I mean- how the fuck do I explain this? It's basically- when you eat something cold, your--"

"AUGH," Benrey suddenly shouted, clutching their head and making Tommy catch the bowl of ice cream they abruptly dropped.

"Yeah, that's a brain freeze. You ate the ice cream too fast buddy!" Gordon said with a sigh, patting Benrey's back.

"owwww!" Benrey whined, still holding their head as the brain freeze slowly went away.

"Oh- oh no! Did their brain actually freeze??" Tommy asked, sounding genuinely concerned for Benrey as he looked over them.

Gordon couldn't help but laugh at that. "No, their brain didn't actually freeze, they just need a second!"

--

((I'm sorry this was shorter than a couple of my other ones but I'm like,,,, fighting through severe writer's block to get this out adlkfj

also yellow, high-pitched sweet voice = happy))

[qhazomb]

so after making the “frenrey but like ‘john carpenter’s the thing but if the alien was a gamer and had a crush on macready’” joke so many times... whoops i’m thinking about a hlvrai/the thing crossover au ha ha wouldn’t follow the exact plot of the movie, but some scenes from it would still be present. like the alien, in this case benrey, first showing up to the american base in the form of a husky dog while being chased and shot at by the two survivors from the norwegian base, and the blood test scene because that scene fuckin’ rips in this au, it wouldn’t end with everybody killed/assimilated/freezing to death. in this au, the alien catches feelings and the ending is decidedly happier. well, except for the people who do still get assimilated, anyway. benny boy gotta eat, y’know.

there’s not enough members of the science team to fill all the roles of the characters from the movie... which just means that i can fill the extra roles out with some red shirts for benrey to snack :) not sure about everybody’s roles, ‘cept gordon is obviously in mac’s place, and tommy cares for the sled dogs. (also the dogs don’t die in this. benrey doesn’t have the exact same goals as the alien in the movie, and thus doesn’t try to assimilate the other dogs. nobody ever kills the dogs to prevent people from leaving either) at first benrey’s motives are “fix/build ship to get the fuck off this planet”, but when he gets to the american base... something about some of the humans there piques his interest. especially gordon. he doesn’t try to assimilate them, instead choosing to just observe them, both from his dog form and some of the split off bodies he accumulates after assimilating and impersonating some of the other, less interesting humans at the base. his first human victim at the base is forzen. sorry forzen, you get thing-a-fied right away. (doing this based on my headcanon for normal hlvrai where there was no ‘forzen’, that was just benrey puppeting a random soldier for Pranks). nobody ever notices there being something off with forzen, both due to benrey having access to forzen’s memories, and the fact that nobody else at the base really knew him that well to begin with. also, benrey gets his way of speaking from forzen, and uses forzen’s voice whenever he’s speaking in a human language while not impersonating a specific human. he blames his interest in gordon on all the human brains he assimilated messing with his own feelings. because, uh?? finding a person who isn’t even his own species attractive??? not to mention benrey’s not even an organism that needs to engage in sexual or romantic relationships in the first place??? he blames the humans he absorbed for these feelings. but he doesn’t like, complain about these feelings. he’s totally down with them, in fact. he gets attached to tommy, after all the good pets and cuddles and scritches tommy gave his dog body. who knew being petted felt so great? darnold gets off the hook, because tommy really likes darnold, and benrey’s eaten enough humans to know that they get really sad when another organism they care about dies. he leaves all the dogs alone for this same reason. bubby and coomer are not on the menu because benrey finds their personalities way too entertaining. with them still being separate from him, he can never predict what wild shit they’re gonna do next, and he gets such a kick out of it. everybody else in the base, tho? lookin’ like snacks. a veritable buffet of new DNA to absorb. before someone notices the red shirts are getting killed off by something (a something that they later suspect came from the norwegian base, after they go investigate it), benrey slips out of the kennel with his dog body at night to go hang in gordon’s room. at first he’s just content to just. inspect gordon. take in all his little details. ponder if the reason he finds gordon attractive can be attributed to the taste of someone he ate at the norwegian base, or if he’s developed his own unique preferences. but then gordon wakes up and sees the dog sitting there staring up at him. he’s confused about how the fuck the dog got out of the pen, but is too tired to take it back. so he just pats the space on the bed by him and invites the pup up and benrey is internally ‘holy shit oh my god aaaa???’ and gladly hops on up for some Choice Snuggles. gordon doesn’t bother to stop this from being a nightly thing, because dog is warm and they’re in fucking antarctica, you do the math. he is completely unsure what to think, though, when he discovers that the very affectionate dog he’s been cuddling with every night is actually a shape-shifting alien horror that’s been slowly eating and impersonating his fellow researchers. when the surviving humans start making a plan of action to find and kill the alien menace, benrey is conflicted. he could go ahead and just eat them all, take the base for himself, and get to building his ship to get back to space... but he LIKES (most of) the humans that are left. he’s developed a major case of the Human Emotions and would feel bad if he ate these guys. :( eventually he chooses to reveal himself to just gordon, during a rare moment when he’s able to catch gordon alone (the humans started keeping close together when they realized a bodysnatcher was among them), and tries to be as non-threatening as physically possible while doing so. tries to explain that he wants to be friends, and only ate those guys (and the guys at the norwegian base) because he had to. survival instincts and shit. he was in a real bad ship crash and his very injured body got frozen in ice for god knows HOW long and he had a whole lot of energy replenishing and DNA adjusting to do. put down the flamethrower please and thank you? for friend benry? also, benrey picked “benry” as his human/earth name, based on tommy naming his dog body “ben” (”He just looks like a Ben to me. :)” ), and then adding the “ry” at the end himself cause all these humans he likes have two syllable names and he didn’t wanna be left out. he’s got that instinct to integrate, and if he can’t do it through assimilation, he can try and do it through social conventions at least! even if human social behavior is a little hard for him to grasp/get right sometimes. also also, he’s still a gamer. but doesn’t discover that he likes video games until after he absorbs and impersonates forzen. his forzen body gets invited to play some video games with the other guys during break times, and he falls in love instantly. “brooooo how come none of the other sapients i’ve eaten ever invented video games??? humans are so good at having fun wtf. this is the best. i love video games.” AND THAT’S ALL THE THOUGHTS I’VE GOT ABOUT THE AU SO FAR. i only JUST started seriously thinking about it last night, so. not too solid yet.

[tigerdrop]

Cringe is dead, talk to me about the funny half-life men and their relationship

okay here is my essay. it is titled These Guys Actually Like Each Other, and Gordon Freeman Is Just Kind Of A Dick*

(disclaimer: these are just my 2 cents. dont take me too seriously! im just some guy online who has watched this shit too many times.)

first things first. these guys actually like each other. this is a key aspect of their relationship. benrey, obviously and textually, digs gordon freeman - you dont flirt that heavily with guys you arent into, and so much of what he says and does is geared around making gordon crack up. thats pretty gay.

but the counterpart to this is that gordon freemans pretty fucking gay for benrey, too. you may say, “oh, but word of god says its not requited!” and to you i will say: bull shit. gordon is uniquely obsessed with benrey compared to all the other characters. if gordon didnt like the fucking guy, he wouldnt giggle with him and share in-jokes with him and bring him up every 5 seconds when benreys not around. thats concern, bro. thats worry. thats real shit

but i cant blame people for thinking that gordon freeman genuinely doesnt like benrey. benreys partially responsible for some of the worst things that have happened to him, the Arm Thing among them. and gordons very insistent afterward that he doesnt like benrey. he even goes so far as to try to kill benrey a couple times. to this, i must argue that gordon freeman is just kind of a dick.

lets talk facts here. canon. Lore. from the moment we hop into gordons shoes, we can see that he is a jerk to every npc on his way into black mesa. this is his default: a dude who just runs his mouth and says rude shit. he calls tommy a freak within 5 minutes of meeting him. he infantilizes the guy and barely considers him a real scientist. he doubts that bubby is a real name for like no fuckin reason. in “real life”, this is because its funny, and wayne is trying to make a funny half-life stream. in a textual sense, this is because gordon “hlvrai” freeman is a dick. this is the way he acts, consistently, throughout the series.

(brief aside: this is why the whole “gordon is a nice guy and a great dad” characterization baffles me. the way he actually acts in canon is, in short, bitchy and lacking in self-awareness. and i love that for him, i really do. it makes the moments where he just tries to be a nice guy stand out. but thats the thing: his intermittent moments of decency and kindness are not the whole of his personality! this dude kind of sucks most of the time!)

the way that gordons general asshole attitude extends to benrey is complicated. in fairness, benrey makes it his job to annoy the shit out of gordon as much as possible, and that warrants a negative attitude, but gordons pretty paranoid and ends up blaming benrey for nearly everything that happens to him, regardless of if its warranted. this is a pattern he exhibits both before and after the Arm Thing. its a little bit of a dick move! especially considering that, prior to the whole “betrayal” subplot (which was not exactly planned very far in advance), benrey is no more malicious or annoying than anybody else gordons having to travel with.

(okay, this is kind of a subjective evaluation, but still. my point stands that benrey is not any more of a hindrance to his progress than anybody else in the science crew, and neither is he particularly more violent or murderous. hell, gordon freeman has probably killed more guys than benrey. benrey just tends to get.......special treatment.)

all that said, i am still convinced that gordon really fucking likes benrey. please consider with me the following: it would be remarkably easy for gordon to just ignore him and do what he has to do, but he doesnt. he could stop engaging. he could stop thinking about benrey. he could stop bringing benrey up to the rest of the crew every time benrey leaves to do his own thing for awhile. but he doesnt. and, again, yeah, the extra-textual reason for this is “two guys are doing an improv comedy thing and bouncing off of scorpy is kind of the point”, but within the text it reads to me as gordon not being about to get the dude off his mind.

and this is in addition to all the times we see gordon being genuinely nice and receptive toward benrey! its in the little things: laughing the hardest and longest at benreys jokes. only ever reciprocating that stupid underwater “BBBBB” thing with benrey. trying to catch benrey when he falls, despite his insistence moments earlier that benrey should hop in the wack ass crystal generator and get hypermurdered. fondly remarking that benreys sweet voice sounds beautiful. his sort of flustered responses to most of benreys overt flirting. none of this is the way normal people react to a guy they hate. this is all fuckin gay to me, man.

its this combination of the outward insistence that gordon hates benrey with his inner eagerness to be around him and think about him and engage with him that gives off strong “repression” vibes, to me. for whatever reason - pride, embarrassment, resentment - gordon maintains a front of hating the guy and wanting to kill him for a lot of the series, but it doesnt gel with the way he fucking giggles and plays along half the time that benrey starts fucking with him. its a game, and that game is one of the only ways gordon knows to manifest affection for him.

(remember “oh my god, hes got a knife!”? that was the gayest shit i ever seen in my life. tittering like a schoolgirl while benrey chases him around like “im gonna get you haha”. insanity.)

the cool thing about repression is that you can have it manifest in a lot of ways! and this is where things like “headcanons” and “my own personal affection for repressed bisexual men” come in. a lot of how i characterize their relationship is an extrapolation of a lot of things like gordons canonical insecurity issues/anxiety, gordons whole anti-bootboy thing screaming “internet wokeboy who means well but probably has a lot of repressed baggage” to me, etc.

how do you get massive amounts of sexual repression out of what you see in canon, you might ask? well. if wayne would stop having gordon talking about being jerked off by the suit, or talking about chugging a 40-gal drum of potion and having to hold his piss, or worrying about being eaten by benrey the moment he sees benrey at setscale 10, maybe i would have a higher opinion of gordon “hlvrai” freeman and whatever latent psychosexual issues hes got going on. but here we are

i havent even touched yet upon how benrey feels about gordon. this one is helpfully made a little more plain by the fact that benrey very much wants to suck his dick in canon. (i dont even have to go into details. we all know.) but IMO the best part about this ship isnt just that they dig each other, but how. benrey gets overtly flirtatious in the second half of the series, but IMO his preferred method of flirting is just fucking with gordon: chasing him with knives, shoving him around in a bathroom, trying to get scans of his feet. but all in like a slapstick, giggly, fun-and-games sense, you know? at least when it works.

a lot of the time, though, it doesnt work out that way. he clearly just likes doing it whether or not gordon responds positively. which is, you know, Weird. not very nice. but also in line with the way everybody else treats gordon freeman. gordons kind of the universes chew toy in any given universe, and the same holds true here. hes kind of helpless......subjected to 4 demons attempting to make his life as difficult as possible. in a way its cathartic.

sorry. i got sidetracked. anyway, benrey very much likes to mess with him and unnerve him and demean him and i will be perfectly frank with you: that is hot. i have problems and illnesses and one of them is that i am a masochist who goes crazy for that kind of thing. calling gordon a “dirty lil boy” and telling him to “look at the mess [he] made” is some straight up kink scene shit.

i like to imagine that a lot of this behavior isnt caused just by the guy who played him wanting to be funny and antagonistic, but by benrey as a character not really understanding what constitutes “pushing a joke too far”. hes not human, and whatever he is doesnt have a very normative way of understanding the world around him, full of people who actually get hurt for real and die for real. benrey expresses what seems to be genuine surprise and distress after the Arm Thing, as if he didnt know that his actions would have serious consequences. and it doesnt seem to fully sink in afterward, either.

it reads a lot to me like hes used to video game rules and treating people around him like NPCs. if they get hurt, its no big deal, because its not real. he likes jamming random buttons on gordons interface and seeing what comes out. its probably a lot of fun for him, the same way that seeing a streamer or a youtuber suffer for our amusement is fun. its like, you know, in my opinion, gordons very cute when hes frazzled. hes also cute when hes laughing. pushing gordons buttons has a 50/50 chance of either of these things. and this is how he ultimately flirts with gordon: by pulling his pigtails.

but at the same time, benrey does legit care about gordon and knows some boundaries. benreys the one most often shooting at enemies to protect gordon, and he spent most of the last act trying to convince gordon to turn around and not fight him because they were friends (best friends, to be specific). he just lacks a lot of the emotional intelligence it would take to express the feeling of “he digs gordon and likes seeing his face get all red and sweaty regardless of the cause”. and gordon lacks the emotional intelligence it would take to express the fact that he doesnt know if he likes or hates benrey and hes scared as hell that its the former

because, lets be real. unironic benrey-liking is a sign of problems disorder. just look at all these words ive written about it.

can you imagine? this bizarrely powerful, non-human entity that can shrug off gunfire and grow to the size of a building has decided that youre his new plaything. benreys the bored guy booting up skyrim and fucking around in the console, and gordons the hapless favorite follower that hes taken a liking to. its a really fun dynamic IMO

after all this, its safe to say my title is a little misleading. the asterisk stands for * and So Is Benrey, Actually. they are both kind of awful dudes who thrive off of teasing each other and they deserve each other. and i am crazy about it. thank u for coming to my TED talk

[vwildmage]

can you talk about the “tiny” aus? is it just, everything is the same but theyre small, or ?

This one came before the Tiny Gordon one. In fact, I only came up with the Tiny Gordon by going "hey, what if I do the inverse of this?"

And so Tiny team AU, which I have held in my drafts for months.

The gist of it is, Gordon does a thing (probably more science than magic in this version) to pull the AI into reality, but something goes a little wrong. They all come out itty bitty. Borrower size. A bunch of tiny little hellions whose small size makes Gordon want to protecc, even as their chaotic nature makes him exhausted.

The immediate reaction to Gordon is apprehension, because the last time a friend went Big was when Benrey went Boss Mode. At the very least, they expect him to lord the size difference over them as payback for the stress they put him through. When he instead starts fretting over them and carefully checks up on them, they relax. He tries his best to respect their personal space, never looming over them or grabbing them up without warning. It really makes them feel better in the face of all this uncertainty.

True to form, once they adjust they start causing chaos. When they end up scattered around the house, Gordon panics, because if one of them gets in serious trouble he won't hear them call for help. He sets about gathering them back for a proper talk.

Tommy stays by the computer, trying to look through files. He's worried about Sunkist, and he says as much when Gordon asks him what's wrong. Gordon agrees to help get her out, if Tommy can help find her file. She was rather elusive.

Benrey stayed close to bug Gordon, so he wound up stuffed into a hoodie pocket. He could escape at any time, but it's warm and comfy, so he just settled in to Vibe until Gordon gathered every one else.

Bubby almost gets put in a jar to contain his shenanigans, but he and Gordon realize make the connection at the same time. It's a little too much like the Tube. Instead he gets put in the pocket with Benrey. Between the calming blue SweetVoice and the curious change in perspective, he too settles in to simply observe. (Plus it's almost fun, with the way Gordon is striding through the house trying to find a certain shrunken punch-happy scientist)

Between running around and tiny-proofing the more dangerous things in his home, and his attempts to find out what went wrong so he can bring the team up to human size, Gordon ends up passing out at his desk at some point. The team tries to wake him up, patting his face or tugging at his hair, but he is out like a light.

When Gordon does wake up, it's to Coomer yelling a cheerful greeting from right next to his ear, Bubby almost tumbles off his shoulder, Tommy startles awake from where he was dozing against Gordon's arm, and Benrey is hopelessly tangled in his hair, singing strings of SweetVoice and trying to act like he meant to get stuck there. He has to spend several minutes undoing tangles and listening to the guard singing light or going "BBBBBBB" right in his ear.

Through some stroke of luck or chaos, Benrey still has most of his powers. The Sweetvoice was obvious, the little lights decorate the room like fireflies on some days. The Sizeshifting was completely unexpected. Gordon gets home from a grocery run, sees a human silhouette in his house, and his logic is "team is tiny? human sized = INTRUDER?" He Does Not like the idea of some robber getting in and threatening his team. So he attacc. And one very surprised security alien gets Taken The Fuck Out.

When he realizes it's Benrey he gets caught between apologizing for punching him and scolding him for the scare. He gives up on using words and just hauls the idiot up to stand and looks him over for any damage.

They end up setting some new rules, just to ensure that the house doesn't end up burned to the ground, but thankfully enough time has passed that Benrey picked up some common sense on living in a house by watching Gordon. He also follows Gordon's lead when it comes to interacting with the Science Team, though at this point they're all used to each other and can read for subtler cues without having to ask for permission to approach at every single turn.

Benrey is a bit less cautious when it comes to handling them. Gordon feels like he has to be 100% aware of them at every moment when they're in close quarters. Especially if he's holding them or if they're climbing on him, he freezes up for fear of crushing them. Seeing Benrey interact with them like that helps him loosen up a little. Eventually it gets to a point where Gordon can just walk around the house with them hanging out in his hoodie, having idle conversations and joking about "when I grow up-"

Note: when they get to full size, and Benrey can properly go giant size, he handles Gordon the same way the human handled him as a tiny. If Gordon had been a jerk, this would be trouble, but since he was always so careful with everyone, Benrey follows that lead. He's always gentle when he picks Gordon up, and if the guy complains, he parrots Gordon's reasoning from back then. "no, that's dangerous. you can't do the thing. i gotta protect you."

The tiny team probably end up salvaging a lot of unused material in Gordon's home to form tiny weapons or tools to get around. Coomer forms a functional grappling hook and won't tell anyone how he did it, he just acts like it should be obvious.

There would be soft moments where Gordon puts on a documentary or something for them to watch, then he ends up falling asleep on the couch and they all climb on him to get comfy. He wakes up with them on his chest, in the crook of an arm, any spot they can curl up safely. It's adorable, but it follows cat law. He can't move when they're asleep. He is trapped.

(I had this in my drafts for so long, I'm happy to finally be able to post it, long as it has gotten)

[purplecatghostposts]

It’s finally finished so have some HLVRAI Pokémon Mystery Dungeon AU Information!

GORDON-

- The Second Human Turned People Case, though he thinks he’s the first

- Cubone

- Moves: Headbutt, Bonemerange, Fire Punch, Endure

- Ability: Battle Armor

- Apart of Team Sunrise, Partnered with Tommy

- Has no memory other than his name and the fact that he used to be human

- Was first found by Tommy, unconscious on the Beach

- Intially creates an Exploration Team with Tommy to both make Tommy happy since it’s his dream and to search for clues as to why he’s suddenly a Pokémon and how to change back

- However, Gordon ends up liking being in an Exploration Team since a part of the job is about helping others. Gordon’s natural protective nature means he fits the job like a glove

- Trying to find a reason to why he’s not Human anymore but Gordon’s starting to wonder... Does he even want to go back? He likes being in an Exploration Team with Tommy- is there anything for him if he returns to the Human World?

- Was trying to keep his whole ‘Human Turned Pokémon’ thing a secret from the general public but somehow, word gets out

- Doesn’t want to drag Tommy into it when people start searching for Gordon but Tommy won’t leave his side, no matter how hard he tries

TOMMY-

- Gordon’s Exploration Partner (And Just Might Play A Very Important Role In Saving The World)

- Pikachu

- Moves: Thunderbolt, Grass Knot, Agility, Swift

- Ability: Static

- Apart of Team Sunrise, Partnered With Gordon

- Has wanted to be in an Exploration Team since he was a Pichu. His adoptive mother is a retired Explorer who often told him bedtime stories about her adventures, inspiring him

- Now has his own place but keeps in touch with his mom. They’re pretty close

- Was also childhood friends with both Darnold and Benrey. Tommy and Darnold keep in touch while Tommy lost contact with Benrey after he suddenly disappeared- Tommy hasn’t seen him in years... Until now!

- Found Gordon unconscious on the Beach and instantly took him in, letting him stay in his spare room. Given Gordon has nowhere else to go, they’re now roommates!

- Loves being able to travel to new places and seeing all the beautiful places around the world as an Explorer

- Admires Team Wildfire a lot

- Promises to keep Gordon safe and help him figure out who he is and what happened. Will not break this promise, no matter what

BENREY-

- Not What He Seems...

- “Totodile” (Shiny Ditto who’s Very Good at Transforming)

- Moves (As Totodile): Surf, Ice Beam, Crunch, Shadow Claw

- Ability (As Totodile): Sheer Force

- Has no Defensive or Status Moves

- Not apart of any Exploration Team but hangs around Team Sunrise a lot

- Was childhood friends with Tommy (And aquatinted with Darnold)

- Was employed to someone he doesn’t like talk about for a good chunk of his life. Benrey doesn’t talk about what he was employed for either, but it might have something to do with his ability to transform very convincingly...

- Was acquainted with Forzen, though Forzen wouldn’t recognize him in his Totodile form

- Has a lot of secrets. Benrey’s not proud of who he used to be

- A lot more powerful than he looks

- Very few know that Benrey is actually a Ditto given he stays transformed so often. Even fewer can recognize him once he’s transformed

- Almost always on edge, no matter how well he hides it. There’s a high bounty on the head of one of his forms so he has to keep his head down, hiding as a Totodile

- Joins Team Sunrise on a lot of missions despite not being officially apart of the group

- Knows Gordon’s secret and is determined to keep him safe, at all costs

COOMER-

- A Very Experienced Explorer

- Breloom

- Moves: Seed Bomb, Brick Break, Dynamic Punch, Sword Dance

- Ability: Effect Spore

- Apart of Team Wildfire, Partnered with Bubby

- Has a big family and a lot of siblings though isn’t very close with them. Feels like he has to compete with his siblings just to stand out and not feel like a clone

- Was previously in an Explorer Team called Team Belladonna with his Ex, however they broke up and he stopped exploring a couple months before he met Bubby

- Found Bubby unconscious on a Mountain and his Explorer instincts kicked in, quickly helping him and having Bubby stay with him while he recovered

- Originally Bubby was only meant to stay until he recovered his memory but it ended up becoming a more permanent arrangement later

- Formed an Exploration Team both to help Bubby search for answers and because Coomer missed it as it was a big part of his life

- Has been Partnered with Bubby for years now. Would do anything to keep his secret safe

- Anything.

BUBBY-

- The First Human Turned Pokemon

- Charmeleon

- Moves: Flamethrower, Slash, Thunder Punch, Dragon Claw

- Ability: Blaze

- Has no defensive or status moves

- Apart of Team Wildfire, Partnered with Coomer

- Wears Wise Glasses both as a boost to his special attack but also because he has terrible eyesight without them

- Like Gordon, he has little memory other than his name and the fact that he used to be Human

- Bubby keeps the fact that he used to be Human under heavy lock and key. The only other person he told was Coomer, otherwise, Bubby is pretty distrusting towards others

- Initially became an Explorer with Coomer because of his determination to figure out why he’s a Pokémon but stayed because he genuinely enjoyed the work

- Despite his initial drive to figure out how to become Human again, Bubby no longer pursues this. He likes his life with Coomer, he doesn’t want it to change

- Would do anything to keep Coomer safe

- A n y t h i n g

DARNOLD-

- Inventor Extraordinaire

- Bayleef

- Moves: Magic Leaf, Solar Beam, Protect, Sweet Scent

- Ability: Leaf Guard

- Not apart of an Exploration Team but takes an interest in the work

- Childhood friends with Tommy, they still keep in touch

- Took an interest in Inventing and Creating given his Moms were really into it and he looked up to them

- Original creator of the Orbs, namely the Escape Orb and the Slumber Orb, both of which he uses to get through tough dungeons

- Still makes items and machines as well but Darnold’s true pride and joy is a drink shop called ‘New Leaf’ with a new menu every day. Darnold takes great pride in his juices and smoothies that he makes

- Likes to talk to one of his regulars at New Leaf, a Bounty Hunter who has plenty of interesting stories and is overall fun to talk to

- Recently got employed by someone who gives him a weird vibe. Darnold doesn’t know what it is but all they want is for him to make a machine that can open portals and... Well, it sounds interesting and harmless enough?

- Isn’t much of a fighter but will if he has to

FORZEN-

- A Bounty Hunter who’s very good at his job

- Mightyena

- Moveset: Ice Fang, Take Down, Sucker Punch, Swagger

- Ability: Intimidate

- All moves can be learned by leveling up, the only character to have this

- Is a Bounty Hunter, meaning he specifically goes after Wanted Pokemon for a living

- Took up Bounty Hunting as it runs in the family. Is not close with his family anymore

- Very good at his job, one of the best trackers out there and very rarely doesn’t complete the job he takes

- Used to be aquatinted with Benrey though wouldn’t recognize his Totodile form

- Truthfully has no idea what happened to Benrey but one day, he disappeared and a huge bounty was placed on his head. Forzen took the job, no hard feelings but it was a lot of money, but was never able to find him, one of his few jobs

- Often visits a drink place called New Leaf, both for the delicious drinks and to talk to the Bayleef that runs it

- Recently took up a job to track down a Human Turned Pokemon. Has no idea what they’re wanted for but the bounty is too big to pass up- every Bounty Hunter he knows is taking it

JOSHUA-

- The Kid Who Tends To Inspire Those Around Him

- Sewaddle

- Moves: Tackle, String Shot, Bug Bite, Hidden Power

- Ability: Chlorophyll

- Is an Orphan who lost track of his family and got lost for quite a long time before being rescued

- Is initially found by Benrey and sent to Tommy and Gordon, who takes him in and take care of him while they search for his family

- Benrey, Gordon, and Tommy all take on a parental role for him, though a lot of the people he meets tends to instantly shift into, “I would die for this kid” mode

- Thinks Exploration Teams are the coolest

- Greatly admires Team Sunrise, Team Wildfire, and Benrey, sometimes trying to imitate them

- A little easily frightened at first but his confidence gets built up once he’s taken in by Tommy and Gordon. Turns out to be pretty enthusiastic once he comes out of his shell

G-MAN-

- The Legendary

- Mewtwo

- Moves: ???

- Ability: Unnerve

- Has his own agenda but generally tries to help others and keeps the World’s balance in check

- Not much is known about him, least of all why he goes by ‘G-Man’ of all things. He keeps to himself

- Seems to watch over a certain Pikachu, sensing great things from him...

- Is very interested in finding out how a Human turns Pokémon

- Knows more than he says

SUNKIST-

- Ex-Explorer and Adoptive Mother of Tommy

- Arcanine

- Moves: Extreme Speed, Flare Blitz, Body Slam, Roar

- Ability: Flash Fire

- Full name is Sun Kissed but Sunkist is a shortening of it that she likes

- Is a retired Explorer and pretty highly respected and well known. Was apart of a Explorer Team known as Team Daylight

- Tommy was left at her doorstep a half a year after she retired. Sunkist worked to find his family, and when she couldn’t, raised him as her own

- While she’s a little out of practice, Sunkist is still very powerful

- Tough as nails but has a soft heart

- Can and would move mountains for Tommy

???-

- The Main Antagonist

- ???

- Moves: Psychic, Water Pulse, Blizzard, Drain Punch

- Ability: Own Tempo

- No status or defensive moves

- Highly powerful and has a bad vibe to her

- A Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

- Employed Benrey, Darnold, and sometimes Forzen

- Seems to have her own agenda

- Is very interested in finding a Human Turned Pokemon and is willing to do anything to get her hands on one

- Knows Benrey very, very well

- And doesn’t let go so e a s i l y

Anddd there we go! Took a hot minute but I got it all down! Feel free to ask me about anything if you got questions!

[bandtrees]

So random question about your creepy au, where does Gman fit in all this? Is he also infected by the spooky spaghetti syndrome, or is he normal and trying to save his son and his friends or??? Aaahhhggg, so many questions!! I love your au and your art, it’s amazing 🥰

thank you aaahhh :’D im so glad you like it!!!

as for your question i am... not too sure, actually! i havent thought too much about g-man save for his role in the ending (healing gordon’s injuries and... pretty much gaslighting him into thinking this was all some weird hallucination)

i have considered the idea of him being the only normal one — whether because he’s just too powerful for benrey to mess with the code of or if he just missed him for one reason or another.

i think maybe he still has his canon role of an overseer of what’s going on, but in less of a puppetmaster way and more of a... “i need to keep an eye on this and make sure it doesn’t escape black mesa” way. maybe a man in black type figure. im not sure! i am totally open for ideas/suggestions tho :>

(fun fact i was talking to my friend @hatsunoid in a vc about this and was like, “yeah idk what to do with g-man’s design i might make him faceless” and he was just. “that’s slenderman”)

[bubbyleh]

magic for monsters

Darnold is woken up by a rapid knocking on his bedroom door, loud and almost as intrusive as someone barging in. Glancing over at the clock on his bedside table, he groans when he notices that it’s almost three in the morning.

Shoving Tommy’s arm off him and wiggling out from under Sunkist (those two are incredibly heavy sleepers), Darnold slips out of bed and trudges towards the door. The knocking persists up until he swings it open.

Forzen stands in the hallway, arms raised and halted in the middle of yet another deafening knock.

“What do you want?” Darnold asks, glaring at Forzen with all the force a witch with extremely scary eyes can muster.

On an unrelated note, Forzen suddenly looks like a deer caught in the headlights. He sheepishly hides his outstretched arm behind his back before speaking.

“Um. Humidity’s broken.”

It takes a few seconds for Darnold’s brain to grab hold of what Forzen’s saying. “I fixed those enchantments for you last week. It should be fine in there for another year.”

“It’s a bit dry,” Forzen counters. “Fix it please.”

Darnold sighs, mentally resisting the urge to slam the door on his cryptmate. He claps his hands together, pointing them towards his visitor. “Forzen. The enchantments are meant to replicate swamp-like conditions in your room,” he explains. “If they were broken, you’d see your pools and mud disappearing. As it stands, sometimes swamps get a little bit dry as humidity fluctuates.”

Forzen scratches at his scaled face. “Okay. Fix it?”

“I’ll adjust the humidity in the morning.” Darnold begins closing the door on Forzen. “Go. Back. To sleep.”

“No wait.” Forzen tries to shove his hand through the door, but only succeeds in getting it slammed between the doorjamb. He shouts in pain, bringing his arm back in an instant.

Darnold can hear angry French on the other side of the door, but he can’t really bring himself to care. He casts a quick silencing charm on the door before sliding back into bed with his boyfriend and their dog. Even while he’s asleep, Tommy almost immediately drapes an arm around Darnold. He lets himself drift back off to sleep, content in the fact that Forzen is probably still out there, yelling his fishy heart out.

†††

While Forzen is annoying, Darnold keeps his word and adjusts the humidity settings in his room. He does wait until after his nice and healthy breakfast, though, because Forzen deserves to wait just a little bit longer.

But finally, Darnold gets to hole himself up in his lab. He has a very special project that he’s been working on for everyone, and he’s pretty sure he’ll be able to make some headway on it today!

So, with the key he keeps on him at all times, Darnold unlocks the top drawer of his desk. Inside are several pieces of paper and six charms—each of which could easily be kept on someone’s person as a necklace, or even inside a pocket. They’re all color coded, too, so it’s easy to keep track of them.

Darnold pulls out two charms, the orange and cyan ones, with a sigh. They’re honestly going to be the simplest, with only a few damage immunity enchantments on top of the main one. To be brutally honest, Gordon and Bubby both fall apart in very low stress conditions. Seriously, a breeze could tear them apart. And in order for these to work, it’s imperative that they stay together for the most part.

Because these just aren’t some fun trinkets Darnold’s planning on giving his friends. No, if they were that simple, he wouldn’t need to keep them in a locked drawer, away from prying eyes. These are Illusion Charms, meaning, if all goes according to plan, the rest of the crypt will be able to face human society, just like he and Tommy do!

The fact that giving them access to illusions means Darnold won’t have to do their grocery shopping anymore is only a bonus.

But boy, are these charms complicated. Darnold’s going to have to wrangle sun resistance into Coomer’s, as well as work on tangibility for Joshua. And also getting Benrey a head? He’s still not sure how he’s going to work around Forzen being a fish, and therefore needing to breathe water. He’s got time to figure it out, though; he’s expecting some books from an acquaintance within the week that should help.

BANG!!!!

Darnold’s fiddling with the charms is interrupted by a deafening explosion somewhere in the crypt, followed by loud shouts.

“OH FUCK I’M ON FIRE!”

“GUYS I CAN’T FIND MY ARM!!”

“NO! MY COOKIES!”

Darnold smells smoke. In an instant, he slams the drawer shut and grabs a Fire Extinguishing Potion, sprinting out of the lab and towards the kitchen.

†††

Darnold’s not entirely sure how you can fuck up cookies so bad that you explode the entire kitchen. It’s not that hard, he’s been baking treats of all kinds since he was a kid! Pastries are an important part of

any

witch’s arsenal, and he knows for a fact that nothing inside of one can be considered dangerous!

But Darnold’s a little too tired to lecture his cryptmates about proper cookie-making procedures. Currently, he’s hunched over his main lab table, trying to figure out how to unburn the various undead body parts he’s been presented with. Bubby and Coomer are napping on a bench on the far side of the room, and Darnold is so grateful it’s past their bedtime because he honestly couldn’t deal with their shit right now on top of everything else.

Everything else is, partly, attempting to solve the problem in front of him. But it’s also Gordon and Joshua who, in light of Gordon removing his scorched arm for Darnold to deal with, have taken to messing with Benrey. Which is made easier by the fact that Benrey lost their head in the explosion.

Joshua tugs on Benrey’s shirt from behind. In an exaggerated motion, likely accounting for the fact that they’re missing four of their senses right now, Benrey turns around and attempts to scoop Joshua up. They miss, seeing as Joshua has already retreated out of their reach, giggling the entire time. Gordon, meanwhile, is trying to herd Benrey over to one of Darnold’s stepping stools so they can trip over it.

Darnold wishes Tommy were here, but sadly, Tommy had to go to the store and get Benrey a new pumpkin.

Muttering to himself, Darnold begins retrieving the ingredients for a Restoration Potion. Not technically a healing potion, so it shouldn’t accidentally bring his collection of dead limbs back to life. Theoretically, it should just get rid of the burn marks, maybe even a few of the scars Gordon and Bubby have accumulated over the years.

It’s easy to slip into Potion Mode™, to the point that Darnold barely notices Tommy’s return as he’s brewing, mixing, pretty much everything you do when making a potion. At the end of it all, he splashes the Restoration Potion across the limbs, and while the burn marks clear away, they retain their sickly dead colorations.

Perfect.

“Gordon, test this out,” Darnold tosses Gordon’s arm back towards him. He interrupts a heated debate about how Benrey’s new face should look between Gordon, Tommy, and Joshua, but that’s probably for the better.

Gordon catches his arm, quickly reattaching it to the rest of his body. He gives it a few test movements, then gives Darnold a huge thumbs up, relief apparent on his face.

“Great,” Darnold remarks. “Now I’m kicking you guys out. Take the old guys and Bubby’s legs and leave.”

Bubby, Coomer, and Benrey are all dragged out of Darnold’s lab for varying reasons (Bubby’s leglessness, Coomer’s sleepiness, and Benrey’s headlessness), Tommy offering his boyfriend a kiss as he heads out. Joshua pauses, though, eyes on Darnold’s desk as if noticing it for the first time.

Darnold realizes the top drawer is slightly ajar.

Shit.

“Oooh!” Joshua squeals. “Uncle Darnold, what’s in your desk?”

“Nothing!” Darnold slams the drawer once again, pulling out the key and making sure he locks it. “Mind your business, Joshua.”

With a frown, Joshua sulks out of Darnold’s lab.

Darnold looks at the clock on his wall. It’s barely the afternoon, but already, he feels spent. With a sigh, Darnold decides to abandon his lab today. Shutting the lights off, he resolves to go find Sunkist and snuggle with her somewhere, because honestly, she and Tommy are the only ones not disappointing him today.

[froggycatvest]

Title: It’s Shower Time Words: 1000 Part 1 of ? Characters: Gordon, Benrey, Dr. Coomer, Bubby, Tommy

This is mostly interaction between Gordon and Benrey, really. There’s gotta be showers here. The place is huge. And they’ve been there a couple days. Let them freshen up.

-----

Gordon blinked in surprise when he saw there was a showering area attached to the bathroom they stumbled into. “Hey, all we need is some beds and we can live here,” he joked. Dr. Coomer looked around the corner into the room with him.

“Some people already do,” he reminded, and Gordon glanced at Bubby, who was standing on one of the benches pressed up against the wall. 

“Oh, right. Sorry, Bubby.”

“I didn’t think you’d forget me that easily.” The older man raised an eyebrow. “Did you hit your head one too many times?”

Gordon didn’t take offense. “Yeah, kinda.” He shrugged, before gesturing around him. “But I mean this place isn’t exactly a hotel, yeah? It doesn’t seem that liveable. This isn’t even a good shower. There’s no privacy.” It was like those kinds in the gym, showerheads sticking out of the walls lined up in a tiled room. “It’s all out in the open.”

Bubby hopped down from the bench. “Oh, I don’t use those,” he said matter-of-fact. “They just spray me down with disinfectant at the end of each day.” 

“Disinfectant? Isn’t that…?” Gordon frowned in confusion. “Isn’t that bad? For your skin?” 

Bubby looked him straight in the eyes. “This isn’t skin, Gordon.”

“Y--That…” Gordon snapped his mouth shut. How was that a thing? Why did everyone have parts replaced and altered and grown and added? 

When he spoke, it was hesitant, because he wasn’t really sure if he wanted to know the answer. “What...what is it then?”

Bubby grinned. “Ha. Just fucking with you.” 

“God,” Gordon groaned out, rubbing a hand over his eyes. “I really believed you for a moment. I really did.” 

“Just a little scientist humor.” Bubby sounded pretty pleased with himself, and Dr. Coomer chimed in. 

“If you want human skin, Gordon, our research department has been very successful lately in growing it fresh in the lab.”

Gordon made a face. “I… don’t think I need that. That actually sounded really weird to hear. Like, I know it’s good for like, medical reasons, but I doubt Black Mesa is doing anything ethical with...fresh human skin.”

“It’s been used for my extendo arms.” Dr. Coomer flexed. “They made it so the skin can stretch without tearing and to return back to its original elasticity after every use.”

“Oh,” Gordon stared at the other man’s arms. “That’s actually pretty cool.” 

It was neat, but also still something that was hard to get used to, that everyone in this group could do inhuman things. That Bubby was grown in a tube. That Dr. Coomer had parts replaced with robotics. That Benrey was...who knew.

He turned to Tommy for support, because the other man was seriously a lifeline in these trying times. “Tommy. Tommy,” he whispered, “please tell me everything is okay with you. No secret powers or hidden experimental past, right?.”

Tommy looked up from where he had been reading the instructions on the fire extinguisher mounted on the wall. “What do you mean?” he asked carefully. 

Gordon was about to explain when Benrey interrupted from where he sat nearby on a sink. 

“You’ve got a gun for a hand.”

He said it so casually that it made Gordon pause. This was true, wasn't it? He had fancy gun technology medical stuff now, didn't he? He was more like Bubby and Dr. Coomer than he really thought about before. All right, that was fine. He could come to terms with that. As long as Tommy wasn't like Benrey, all defying physics and being seemingly immortal. Maybe Gordon just wanted one last anchor of normalcy during this ordeal. He couldn't be blamed for that. 

Gordon waved Benrey off dismissively. “I was talking to Tommy. Don’t cut in.”

“Um.” Benrey clicked his tongue, sounding displeased. “Not allowed.”

“Yeah?” Gordon said, giving him his full attention now. How could he not want to hear his reasoning for this? “Says who?”

“It’s in the rulebook.”

“What rulebook?”

“No fraternizing on company time.” Benrey sounded like he was simply reciting the words. “Gonna have to write you up.”

Gordon was not surprised that the other man was still insistent on keeping up his role of Authority Figure Who Takes Their Job Very Seriously Even Though The World Is Falling Apart. 

“I don’t think it’s your job to write people up. I think your job is harassing people who are trying to do their job.”

Benrey continued on as if Gordon hadn’t said anything. “Destroying company property, trespassing, theft. All grounds for termination.”

“Uh huh,” Gordon replied easily. Benrey was always trying to rile him up. Because Gordon followed rules, but Benrey made up rules and expected him to know it somehow. Well, Gordon was better at keeping his cool about that now.

“Is murder on that list? That seems to be a little more important than the other things.”

“What?” Benrey seemed to really look at him then, no longer on autopilot. “No that’s fine.”

Gordon of course thought that was funny. “Only if it’s the military boys, right?” He grinned. “They don’t count.” It had honestly been fun taking them out, cathartic even. “At least that’s one thing we agree on.”

“Wow,” Benrey deadpanned. “Besties.”

Here Gordon was being kind and making a connection, and the other man had to go and be a jerk. He stalked on over to him. “Look,” he began, but then he paused.

His eyes swept over the front of Benrey’s vest. It was stained with blood and splattered in a yellowish green slime. There was definitely a sewage smell emanating from it. It was crusty and nasty, and Gordon felt himself making a face at it.

Benrey ran a hand through his helmet, posing a bit. “Are you liking the view?

“I wish there was something to like.” Gordon meant that in the nicest possible way. He looked him in the eye. “You're really gross, you know that?” 

Benrey stared at him, frowning. “Kinda ruining the mood bro.”

[goatbi]

Wow, realized a thing, and am now no longer paying attention to class, here’s some stuff for HVLRAI characters cause why not. This was like... just recently thought about, so it may contradict past writings of mine, but this’ll be it going forwards if I’m writing from the perspective of my own science team. 

Gordon: Trans Man, uses he/him pronouns, Pansexual. In the HEV suit, he was around 6′1″, because the boots where basically platform shoes, and he was just very large. Outside of it, he pops down to around 5′7″, and Bubby holds this over his head forever. Fat man! Large, which, while a good amount of it is muscle, because this bitch strong as hell, he’s still fat. Because that’s canon. fight me about it. Has a prosthetic that looks similar to the HEV suit, completely functional as Bubby was the one who made it, and he’s also the one to keep up with maintenance on both Gordon and Coomer’s various mechanical limbs. 

Benrey: Doesn’t know what a gender is, just kinda vibes. He/They/Dae pronouns used interchangeably. Bi Ace. Height can fluctuate, but usually stays around 5′5″, just cause they like it there. Whatever body type he wants at the time, doesn’t actually care. Makes himself a bit bigger when he lays on top of Tommy, cause Tommy likes pressure stims like that, but other than that... They’re pretty nebulous, actually. He has a few random scars from various times he’s died, but they’re all pretty faint and he treats them like a story. He has the one across his middle from where he was bisected by the door, a few gunshot ones. The only ones dae doesn’t parade about like that is the ones from the final battle, because it makes the others uncomfortable. 

Tommy: Non-Binary, uses he/him, also Ace, but isn’t entirely sure on the romantic side of things where he stands. 7′2″ currently, but does have the ability to change that. He can get taller, and he actually stopped somewhere around eight feet when he stopped growing naturally, but he decided to stay shrunken a bit, for comfort reasons. Not too comfortable, but Tommy doesn’t like shrinking further than that, so that’s where he stays. Tall and thin, but not weak. I think of like, thin like a swimmer’s build? I guess. So he’s strong as hell. He has a few burn scars, from way before he knew how to control the abilities of the star in him, and keeps them around as a reminder to be careful with his abilities, since he could get rid of them easily if he so desired. 

Bubby: What’s a gender? He doesn’t give a shit what pronouns you use for him, so most people just default to he/him, but he did like Xe/Xem, so that does get used a lot more often.  6′ even, and was so annoyed over Gordon being one inch taller than xem, and held it over Gordon’s head when he got out of the HEV suit. Also kind of thin, but that’s more due to Black Mesa mistreatment than anything on his part. Is pretty strong as well, though does get more so once he’s actually, y’know, able to exist without worrying about Black Mesa. A lot of random scars from various experiments from Black Mesa. He’s most freaked out around the Y-cut scar on his chest, since he remembers getting that one, and it’s just not a fun time. Most xe doesn’t like. He also has a few burn scars from xyrs fire abilities before they figured out how to make him immune to them. 

Coomer: Canonically Bi babey, let’s get that rep in. He/It pronouns! 5′2″, small round man. Very kind. The weight of metal limbs means that he’s pretty strong as is, but because of those metal limbs, it’s technically the strongest of the group, if you go by pure physical strength. The power legs cause him to go flying into the air as seen, but also absorbs the impact of the fall, leaving Coomer with little to no damage. The extendo arms have a full length, but what that is is actually unknown, simply because of the fact that Coomer has never found the need to go past a comfortable length, ie, across the room to grab the remote when no one wants to get up. Scarring around his legs where he got the power legs, which I believe to be just above the knee, since that was caused by an accident, but the scaring for the extendo arms were surgical and actually an experiment by Black Mesa that one of the clones volunteered for and it ended up getting instead, so there’s less scarring there simply because it wasn’t a traumatic injury. I mean, it wasn’t fun for Coomer, but it wasn’t explosion in the lab, wake up with metal legs type deal. 

Darnold: Genderfluid, He/Him or She/Her depending. Usually wears a lil pin to signify which set it is that day. Bi. He’s about 6′5″, so tall, but not as tall as Tommy, as no one is as tall as Tommy on a normal day. Pretty built, though physically looks smaller than Forzen, simply because his shoulders aren’t nearly as broad. Is actually stronger than them, basing it purely on weight lifting abilities. His hands are pretty scarred and calloused, from his work, and the scars can travel up to his arms on occasion, but he is very very careful when he works, so there aren’t a lot there. Has a prosthetic leg, his left leg, from an accident when he was around seven. Doesn’t like to talk about it. Bubby offered to give him some enhancements to it, but Darnold is comfortable with just a normal prosthetic, nothing fancy like Coomer or Gordon. 

Forzen: They/Them. Doesn’t know exactly what their gender is, just knows pronouns. Actually, that’s literally the only thing they’re sure about. Everything else is a nebulous concept, but they know they are not straight, that’s really it. around 6′3″.  I’d compare them more to like a body builder? Very broad shoulders to begin with anyways. Pretty scarred up, though most of them are completely not what you’d expect. They have a scar on the back of their ankle from sliding through the kitchen in socks and running into a cabinet. there’s a small burn scar on their arm from where they reached into the toaster oven wrong. They are littered with the dumbest scars imaginable, nothing from actually being in the military like one would expect. Is also only in the military because they wanted to do a college thing but couldn’t pay for it, and ended up not leaving. 

G-Man: Does not use pronouns, agender, aro ace. G-Man just went ‘no’ to everything, and now vibes in the void. Is always taller than you, unless you are taller than Tommy, as G-Man will never be taller than Tommy. Often times goes for a more skeletal form, cause it scares more people that way. Tall, skeletal, sucks the light out of a room? terrifying. Doesn’t keep scars, simply because G-Man doesn’t want to have scars. No real blemishes, though has formed a large amount of freckles from exposure to Tommy, since he is a star, and has not gotten rid of those. G-Man actually finds them very sweet, and has thus refused to get rid of them on principal. Ruins the spooky vibe that G-Man’s usually got going, but, for Tommy, G-Man would do anything. 

[pinnithin-writes]

Good Jokes

Chapter 11

The past several minutes were piecemeal to Tommy. He could infer what had happened based on the clues around him, but when he tried to recall the actual event occurring, details slipped away, like he was remembering a dream.

The facts were these: he was sitting on the floor. That was good - the floor was solid and he always found lowering his center of gravity stabilized him. Gordon was beside him. This was also good. He was trembling slightly and he looked severely rattled, but had incurred no further injury. Dr. Coomer was there, too, sitting cross-legged in front of them.

And there was another Dr. Coomer laying a few feet away. And another one beyond that. And another. And another. The air was thick with the scent of blood and the room just as much so with the bodies of clones. They were riddled with holes.

Tommy could connect the dots. He was the only one present who was armed.

What stuck in his memory quite well, however, was the look Gordon gave him after it happened. Frightened and dazed and a little awestruck, pupils blown wide and mouth parted in shock. Tommy wasn’t sure what it meant; whether he had scared Gordon with that act of unbridled violence or if the man was just grateful to still be alive or something else entirely. It was a weighty look. Settled heavily in Tommy’s chest.

Dr. Coomer - the living one, the original - was smiling mildly at them, as if Tommy hadn’t buried two slugs of lead in his chest only moments ago. Tommy stared distractedly at the crimson soaking into his shirt while Gordon pried information out of the scientist. What was his near death experience tally up to now? Double digits, at least. Gordon’s voice was remarkably steady for what he had just gone through, but when Tommy slid his gaze toward him, he noticed how shaky his hands were, how stark the whites of his eyes stood out. He was still very much afraid.

He wordlessly shifted so that his knee was pressing into Gordon’s leg. Just enough to give him an anchor. His hands were otherwise occupied with his rifle, which he had laid across his knees in a latent threat. Having to murder Dr. Coomer dozens of times had taken a swing at Tommy’s resolve, but he’d do it all over again if it meant keeping Gordon alive. He could carry this burden for him, at least.

Tommy swallowed the lump in his throat and looked away. Now wasn’t the time to lose his composure.

Dr. Coomer, to his credit, seemed relatively unbothered as he answered Gordon’s questions. “Well, Benrey and Bubby have been… whispering for some time about how to handle a problem.” he paused delicately. “I believe the problem is you, Dr. Freeman.”

Gordon was doubtful. “A pro – why am – is it my trackers? The GPS trackers?”

“I think they’re just spiteful,” Coomer guessed.

Tommy snorted. Sounds about right.

“What have I done to th - t-?” Gordon stammered, outraged. “They’re fuc - they’re assholes, man. I don’t - I have like-” he paused, collecting his thoughts. “We’ve all killed people,” he iterated.

“Yes, but we all have our passports,” Coomer pointed out.

“Passport?” Tommy repeated.

Benrey was really fixated on that, huh? He idled over that thought for a moment, wondering if it was all an elaborate stunt to fuck with Gordon or if there was more to it than that.

Dr. Coomer responded congenially. “Passport!”

Beside him, Tommy felt the shaking in Gordon’s leg grow more pronounced. “If I – if it’s-“ he took in a steadying breath, then spat out the rest of his words in frustration. “If this is over a goddamn passport, I will strangle that bald fuck with my own one hand.”

The old scientist’s eyes lit up. “Can I help?”

“Yeah, you could d – you could do the other hand,” Gordon allowed, giving him an appreciative look. “That’d be fun for you, I bet.”

“Exciting!”

Gordon laughed hoarsely. “Yeah, well, at least you can give me a chuckle. Did you know – where’d they go, where are they?”

“Well, I lost them,” Coomer admitted. “I was spending the past few minutes trying to hunt you down and find out where you were. We got separated, you see.” He cast a somewhat bemused look at the bodies littering the floor at the bottom of the stairwell. “I see you encountered my clones.”

“The nightmare,” Gordon echoed hollowly. “I encountered the nightmare.”

Dr. Coomer furrowed his brow in a serious look. “Now, Gordon, it’s only safe to warn you. I felt everything they felt.”

Tommy couldn’t suppress a flinch. He didn’t remember how many bullets he’d fired in the past few minutes, but judging by the carnage it had been quite a lot. Having been shot before, he was intimately aware of how much it hurt to have a bullet rip through one’s body. Trying to reconcile that kind of pain all at once in rapid succession made Tommy unable to meet the scientist’s gaze.

Gordon’s laugh was all nerves. “He was the one that did that,” he clarified, and he gave Tommy’s shoulder a squeeze in an attempt at reassurance. “Just so you know. Tommy killed all of those.”

Coomer was still smiling. “Oh, I’m quite aware,” he remarked, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “Fine shooting, Tommy!”

Tommy grimaced and didn’t respond. It wasn’t forgiveness, but he’d take it. Gordon rapidly changed the subject.

“Okay. So… do you have any idea what we can do about this?” he asked, gesturing to the stump where his hand used to reside.

Dr. Coomer scratched his jaw contemplatively. “Well, clearly climbing inside of your arm and wearing you like a puppet didn’t work, so perhaps I could help you find… something to help.”

The distant sound of water dripping was all that could be heard for a moment while Gordon paused.  “That was the scariest sentence I’ve ever heard,” he finally muttered. “Okay, let’s – s – so let’s go. Yeah.”

Coomer nodded. “Hello, Gordon.”

“Is there – augh, man – Maybe we can h–” he broke off, suddenly remembering. “The Cybernetics Department! Where is that?”

“Oh, I believe it’s next to the Lambda Department,” the old boxer answered.

Gordon’s broad shoulders slumped with relief. “Oh, so it’s on the way,” he sighed gratefully. “Oh my god.”

Tommy finally spoke a full sentence for the first time since they’d sat down. “I know where that is,” he commented. “They – I wandered in there once because they have a lot of cylinders that look like soda cans, but I was told they’re batteries.”

He felt Gordon shake slightly as he let out a soft guffaw. “Did you drink them?” the other man asked expectantly, brows raised, eyes twinkling, cheeks dimpled with humor.

Tommy smiled fondly at him. He could replace the sun with Gordon’s dazzling grin.

“I tried.”

---

Navigating Black Mesa’s maze of conveyor belts was a headache, but they managed. It took a lot of spatial interference on Tommy’s part to keep Gordon from plummeting to his death every few minutes. His sense of balance was completely shot. At least the mood had somewhat been lightened by Dr. Coomer’s grim joke about the ‘Skull Grinding Facility.’ The old boxer was in much better spirits now that his clones had been eliminated, and while Tommy didn’t necessarily trust him, he at least wasn’t posing an active threat.

He was past the point of finding Black Mesa’s batshit insane experiments humorous anymore. He just wanted to go home.

They inevitably encountered more aliens. Crates full of them. Were they being held here purposefully? He didn’t give himself much time to think about it as he mowed down the creatures, rifle in hand. Coomer flanked him, wreaking havoc with his fists, while Gordon - unarmed, unhanded - very wisely took cover.

“Sucks being helpless, man,” he sighed once the room was still.

Tough. He could be helpful by taking advantage of that med kit beyond the sliding door. Tommy kept an eye out for any encroaching monsters while Gordon fiddled with the cabinet. He heard him let out a crestfallen exhale.

“It had like, two… fucking seconds of juice left.”

Tommy passed him a snicker. “Two blood?”

“Two blood,” Gordon confirmed, an elastic smile leaping onto his face. “Two CCs.”

“Maybe if we bump the machine, there will be some more hidden in there,” Coomer suggested, quite reasonably, before emitting a startlingly loud shout and hooking a punch at the med kit.

Gordon leapt away from the dent in the metal, but he was laughing.

“Usually that works,” Dr. Coomer intoned, while Tommy’s shoulders shook with amusement.

As they headed down the hall, Gordon’s laughter could still be heard in between footsteps. “Honestly, guys?” he began, a smile in his voice. “Really, I think I - I love you two.”

Tommy’s mouth was halfway open to form a response when he remembered what a collective affirmation was. He bit down on his words. God, how hopeless could he get?

He was saved from having to dwell on that when they encountered Bubby’s cloning tube. Tommy felt a surge of loathing when he saw the prototype encased inside, trapped, pathetic, and oh so guilty. Sure, he couldn’t kill the guy permanently, but he could undoubtedly make his death agonizing.

Something in Gordon’s voice, however, stayed Tommy’s trigger finger. The way he growled, “hey, motherfucker,” low in his throat made his scalp tingle. Bubby looked to Tommy pleadingly, palms pressed against the glass, but he just returned his stare coolly before leaving Gordon to handle it. He deserved his revenge.

“Gordon, I just want you to know-” Bubby began, but Gordon cut him off.

“Do I look any different to you?” he asked, displaying his injury.

The scientist cringed away like it was a brand. “I never told them to do that,” he claimed. “They uh, they fooled me!”

Tommy scoffed. He didn’t want to hear Bubby’s sob story. Siding with Benrey was like cuddling with a cobra, and it was Bubby’s own fault he’d been bitten. Shouldering his rifle, he began poking around the room, tuning out the conversation while Coomer remained at Gordon’s side.

In summary, Bubby pleaded ignorance, managing to assure Gordon that he had been coerced by the entity into betraying him. Tommy was less convinced, but if Gordon wanted him to come along, he’d let him. Dr. Coomer vented some of his frustrations by whaling on the glass for a while, and his disposition was much more agreeable than it had been when they entered. Gordon gave him the go ahead and the boxer hit the release button.

As Bubby, wholly relieved, stepped out of the shattered remains of his tube, Tommy made a point to send him a threatening glare. If it were up to him, he wouldn’t be coming along with them at all. But he still tossed the prototype a weapon and half a chance. Slip up and you’re dead, his stare told him. Bubby snatched the gun out of the air and gave Tommy a tight-lipped smile. He got the message.

Their progress through the facility was much quicker with an additional team member. They cleared the way ahead for Gordon, who stumbled along after them, leaking out blood. Tommy’s satisfaction with their pace was soured somewhat by the appearance of a skeleton that flickered in and out of his line of sight. So the entity was loose again. Took the lazy way out of spatial entrapment by offing himself, it seemed.

Gordon, visibly shaken by the entity’s presence, suddenly found himself unsteady on his feet. Tommy urged him onward with a reassuring hand at his back, throwing a spiteful look over his shoulder at the skeleton as they went.

---

A few more hellish sectors brought them to a series of industrial lasers. Tommy stepped thoughtfully from room to room, quickly realizing that this puzzle was essentially just designed to blast through the facility wall. Would be nice if they could just use a door, he thought with some disdain. What an expensive, impractical stunt.

Gordon was woozy and nauseous - a state that probably wasn’t helped when Dr. Coomer had nearly rendered him unconscious with laughter by calling him “Dr. Pussy” a few minutes earlier. While he sagged against a doorway, barely managing not to barf, Tommy elbowed him in an attempt to distract.

“‘Nother triangle, Mr. Freeman,” he said, indicating the sizable prism being used to refract the laser’s beam.

Gordon gave him a foggy look, uncomprehending. “I don’t think those have to do anything with any of this.”

“I believe they do,” Bubby contended, striding confidently past them into the control room. “I have deduced that lasers can blow a hole in this wall for us to escape.”

Coomer chimed in as he jogged after him. “Gordon, it’s very important that we don’t obstruct the laser shield, as the sign says up here.”

“I’m going to obstruct it,” Bubby said.

They followed the scientists into the control room. Tommy matched his pace with Gordon’s in case blood loss caused him to lose his footing again. God, he was tired. But Gordon was halfway to death and steadily slipping closer, so there wasn’t exactly a wide margin for rest.

“The power from the triangles will guide us through this,” he quipped, and he was rewarded with a thin, breathy laugh.

“So, hey,” Gordon called to the group. He halted, stationary, in the middle of the room while the rest of them puzzled over the laser. “I lack the mental fortitude to refute anything you say to me. Who wants to be the de facto leader?”

Bubby pounced on the opportunity from where he stood at the console. “Cool. I call dibs.”

“Hey, hey.” Gordon backpedaled immediately. “Wait, wait. No,” he cast a complicated look in Tommy’s direction. “It’s Tommy,” he said, and his voice held the weight of truth in it. “It’s only Tommy. I only trust Tommy.”

Tommy reeled, pressing a hand unconsciously to his chest and feeling his heart beating out a rapid rhythm beneath. He had to grab the coattails of time and yank. Pause everything around him for just a few seconds so he could study that exposed, vulnerable expression on Gordon’s face. It was the same look he had given him after he’d lain waste to Dr. Coomer’s doubles earlier that day - open, fragile, a little wonderstruck. Eyes so deep Tommy thought he might fall into them.

It’s only Tommy. I only trust Tommy.

What a badge of honor. What an indescribable burden. He allowed himself a few moments to stand there, unknotting the emotion in his chest, before finally releasing his hold on time. The Science Team moved on without noticing the interruption. And Gordon’s words pounded in Tommy’s pulse for the rest of the day.

Chapter 10 <-----> Chapter 12

[enby-freeman]

Can you tell us more favorite things from the Coffee Shop AU?

Hell yeah!!!

- The list of "People who hate G-dad" is short. So short it doesn't exist.

- The list of "People who hate G-man" is unbelievably long, reasonably.

- G-man and G-dad are two different people what you thought we were going to shove in a pair of Gordon's and not include both of these assholes?

- G-dad has been friends is Eli for a very long time, this is why Eli knows Tommy so well and how Tommy ended up with his job at the Res Cafe.

- G-dad didn't trust Benrey literally at all when first meeting him, he also didn't trust Freeman. That being said he does grow to enjoy the company of both of them and as long as his sons happy then theres no reason to be wary.

- Coomer owns various types of cherry shrimp!

- Coomer was shot once thats as far as I'm going with that.

- Adrian is hard of hearing.

- Rosenberg, Gina and Colette all exist in the au and they are genuinely some of the best characters despite being only background.

- Rosenberg is the reason Barney didn't work for Gman in college and the reason Freeman looked into having a teaching job. This man single handedly saved both their asses from a life of forever stress.

- Barney acts very similarly to Benrey only when hes tired.

- Tommy's just a fucking asshole if you wake him up before hes meant to wake up.

- Gordon's an asshole sometimes when hes sick.

- Fun fact! Barney lived with Coomer and Bubby for at least one or two months, maybe longer. Barney was familiar with Isaac through stories from Coomer about Bubby and Isaac. This means there was a small period of time Barney and Gordon could have very easily met at any given moment had Gordon not been pushing himself so much in college, but just some how never did.

- Gordon did however meet Adrian, Benrey, Freeman and possibly Darnold in college. He was roommates with Adrian, knew Freeman through work with Gman, met Benrey through Freeman and saw Darnold with Freeman occasionally. The only reason Gordon fell out of these friendships before meeting Barney was because of Freeman and Benrey's entire mess and Freeman obviously avoiding literally everyone.

- Gordon knew Tommy when he himself was nine or ten, as Tommy was he and baby Alyx's babysitter. This means Gordon also knew G-dad at the time. Gordon also knew Bubby and Coomer well because Bubby is Isaacs brother.

- This makes Gordon the character who literally knows almost every single person just by chance before he even meets Barney.

- Bubby and Coomer have some of my favorite backstory in the au. Honestly. Like I could write a whole different series of fics just about them because of it. Its all so, so good.

- There parallels between The Kleiners and The Calhouns are fucking ridiculous and its all Bubby's fault.

[tigerdrop]

dogboy gordon rutting against benreys leg in the same way that benrey did it in the reverse. benrey encouraging him and also making fun of him in the same breath. yummy brain thoughts. i am rotating this

jesus christ i started thinking about dogboy gordon and have not stopped thinking. theres 7k words of dogboy stuff under here im going insane

how in the. help. Help. dog boy. how does he become dogboy. i cant keep giving these idiots potions but i guess thats what ive been reduced to

gman turns him into a dog boy. walks thru a portal and comes out in nintendogs but hes the dog and when he comes back out again hes still a little bit dogy. this is fucking stupid

THE TAIL WAGGING im going to pass away

> i think he would have such fucking issues with the fact that his tail and ears are expressing his emotions so much

trying to act angry towards benrey but hes given away by his tail wagging like crazy......and he never even knows its happening until somebody points it out

it would be cool if. um. he got a little more into roughhousing and rough play afterward. you know. like a . hes already really handsy......physical. . .. .

> okay like the anger turning into somewhat-serious jostling and pushing which turns into roughhousing

its not even horny at first it just gives him the weirdest fucking endorphins. like. its fucking fun man

> and by the time theyre roughhousing his tail is wagging furiously and like thumping on the floor when he gets pinned haha

> YES its about the exhilaration ......he gets this rush from flipping benrey over after he's pinning him, baring his teeth triumphantly

benrey pinning him by his wrists and half-laughing at him like "what the fuck is wrong with you??" and the rest of the science team chimes in like YEAH WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS WHAT WAS THAT

> gordon comes back to himself and turns red immediately and splutters like "i dont know! what - im just - benrey started it!” so like he refuses to do it again but then benrey pushes his buttons and he gets in his face, ears pinned back a bit and shoves him and benreys like oh...so its this again huh...

GOD......PUSHING HIS BUTTONS.......its sooo much fun now that gordons so physically reactive too

> what if he manages to get an honest to god growl out of gordon at one point and it makes something ugly twist in benrey's gut and he wants to make it happen again

and its probably really gratifying for him to see just how often gordons tail wags when gordon looks at him or snorts at one of his jokes

TWO SIDES

> the duality of their relationship....gordons tail wagging just a bit when hes looking at benrey though im

> im thinking about the growling though like...benrey gets fixated on how he fucking sounds, all deep and rumbly and this intensity just focused on benrey only....makes him think about how that would look in other contexts....

> benrey riling him up while their roughousing so he can feel that growl travel through his chest and like...getting gordon to that point makes him SO determined to win the "fight" over benrey hes almost a bit out of his mind with it......pins benrey and subconsciously ruts against him a bit as a sign of dominance....please stop me now goodbye....

NO LITERALLY THATS WHAT I WAS THINKING ABOUT THE MOMENT I STARTED TYPING

prodding gordon further and further and riling him up until gordon pins him to the floor, hard, an arm jammed behind his back and his HEV suit jammed up against benreys ass and rutting subconsciously as gordon. h. gordon. clamps down on the back of his neck and growls

benrey sucks in a rattling gasp and is like "what? ow" in a weirdly shocked yet distanced way

he cant feel where gordons hard b/c of the HEV suit but he can feel the metal awkwardly bumping against his ass Like That. and inwardly benreys on a loop of "what the fuck what the fuck" but not in a bad way in the slightest. just utterly cannot believe this is whats happening, right now, gordon freeman dry humping his ass behind a bunch of crates, not 100 feet from the rest of the science team

> gordon snapping out of it and being like...what the fuck am i doing... or....maybe the gasp makes gordon bite down harder in response...not sure

> gordon not even realizing hes doing it until that moment is so great....i dont know but....maybe he lets go and pushes off benrey, panting and wild eyed, and the image of benrey on his stomach, his bite mark in his neck, is burned into his brain

> he just doesnt say fucking anything and just dips to get jacked off by the suit maybe.... cant stop thinking about how it felt to see benrey with his teeth marks....hates himself for feeling that sick satisfaction in his chest

benrey......touching the back of his neck afterwrds, kind of dream-like, both consciously and subconsciously.......

i like making gordon freeman suffer so i want him to just angrily try to rut against his arm in private later trying desperately to get off thru this stupid busted HEV suit that he cant get out of. pathetic. gordon freeman humping his own fucking arm in a bathroom stall. like a dog

and he thinks about how benrey smelled when he had his teeth clamped on the back of benreys neck, his nose buried right against benreys jaw and neck, smelling the sweat and the hormones and feeling benreys rapid heartbeat, and his whole fucking head throbs with how bad he wants to get off

> and he just cant get off....has to deal with going back the team tense and a bit sweaty and just move on when they ask what happened. benrey doesnt say anything just stares at him and gordon cant meet his eyes. gordon tries not to fucking let benrey get under his skin cause i think hes probably mad upset and embarassed that he reverted to his like,,,more base instincts because of BENREY of all people.....

> but he still thinks about it sometimes and....he tries to distance himself from him but hes still a pretty touchy guy and he find himself around benrey still....laughing at his jokes and getting in his space once in a while. always pulls himself away when he notices but not before he takes in a deep breath of benrey's scent...

> meanwhile benreys trying to think of how to make gordon do that shit again LOL

ohmy god. oh my god.....before this.....before he tries to stop getting in benreys business and before he even recognizes what hes doing.......he like.....hes so touchy feely that he subconsciously tries to mark benrey a lot. like just doing everything in his power to rub the inside of his wrists somewhere on him. even if its barely gonna do anything b/c of the suit. its just instinct

> NOW HE ...now he realizes that he was doing that the whole time..jesus,...

> AUGH....in the buildup before this he didnt realize that he was doing it........but now he realizes he fucking misses doing that shit and kind of berates himself for doing it in the first place....like what the fuck....be Normal gordon...you cant want to fuck him....do you..?

i want him to. grrgohg i dont even know how or why this would happen but i want gordon freeman to lie supine on the ground with his hands up like paws like hes a big pupy looking for tummy rubs OKAY! BYE. I HAVE TO GO. im going to fucking sob why am i like this why is this the cutest possible thing for a man to do. i cant even think of a fucking reason why he would do this so im so fucking embarrassed

i want to fucking. i want to rub his fucking tumy and make him pop a boner from it im literally so sick of this earth

> i was literally Just typing: i just think it would be cool . To pet his tummy and keep telling him "good boy" in a Certain kind of Tone that just totally fucks him up about it . maybe flushed and tongue starting to wanna hang out of his mouth as he goes from laying flat on his back to kinda twisted to one side, breathing heavy, tail thumping hard against the floor cause hes a big dog so that thing is like a lethal weapon

> petting the fuzzy lower belly while hes already hard & needy just to make him whine Very high pitched and desperate-sounding bc its so close to what he wants but that just makes it worse 8)

> What if. Benrey pinning Gordon, maybe scritches behind his ear, as a "joke", he's a dog haha good boy wants ear scritches?? And Gordon immediately squirming and whining. Maybe even kicking his leg just a little bit

> i think it would be cool for a post-black mesa puby gordon pinned benrey to the floor with his whole body weight and humped the life out of benrey's leg while panting and drooling in benrey's ear. a total lack of regard for benrey, (of course he's into it tho) just using him like an object that's conveniently there for him to furiously get off on

> i'm thinking.... this happening after a period of prolonged teasing, like you said. rubbing his tummy and ignoring his dick

> Man ok combined with the suit edging huh? I love that, but i also kinda want gordon to sneak off to get off and discover his uh. k. kn. knot

> he sneaks off and if in this situation he can.  idk. get at his dick in a bathroom or whatever. and well, he gets caught up so easily in his 'head empty' instincts mode that when he cums he's kneading that thang for like 2 minutes before he even becomes cognizant enough to notice. and then immediately panic. so idk maybe he cant get at himself for a while, right, so he didnt notice this

> i just think gordon being in the suit would not let him get at his dick and he would only be able to get off in really convoluted ways so like...he wouldnt fucking Know he had a knot he would just feel a weird pressure at the base that he doesnt know what its about. but he starts getting these fantasies of holding benrey down and staying in him when he comes and he doesnt know where the hell thats coming from.....yet. until after everything is over and he can get out of it, and the first time he jacks off again he realizes HOLY FUCK? like what the hell....but it makes sense in retrospect where those fantasies came from. but hes just super embarassed about those fantasies and pushes them down until benrey comes back into his life and activates him again

> in addition to embarassment i think he has a lot of complicated feelings about benrey and definitely feels a guilty about wanting to fuck him into the ground and fill him with cum....but GOD if benrey doesnt get to him just as much as he did in black mesa

> i think that something like this would be so unplanned and shit but like......theyve probably hung out a few times before this or more like maybe benrey has dropped into his house just to annoy him and gordon finds his ears pricking when he hears heavy footsteps around his house cause he recognizes them as benrey's...

> little rush of exhilaration maybe. cause it means they'll spend some time together and he has just all these emotions under his skin when they do. i dont know how this would happen but maybe gordon forgets to keep himself in check when benrey makes him laugh so hard he's snorting and his tail is wagging furiously.benrey tries to touch/catch his tail cause he's kinda curious about it and it never got to mess with it in black mesa. but it turns into roughhousing as gordon shoves him away a little bit but benrey keeps trying to get at it and then get at his ears

> "cmon man just let me touch them whats the big deal-" "NO!" but like hes still laughing a bit until they start really getting into it and he gets breathless and a little irritated at having to roll around and try to pin benrey's hands to the floor

hell on earth......the way his tails wagging and hes grinning and drooling a little once he gets benrey pinned.......

> little triumphant smile when he finally does.....got benrey on his stomach and he's subconsciously rutting against benrey's ass like in black mesa but hes just not noticing while he's berating benrey for losing

> talking right into his ear, and benrey lets out a little gasp when he does a particularly hard thrust and then hes like oh. fuck. he takes in a deep breath and can smell benrey's sweat and realizes hes just as horny about this as he is. cant help but bury his face in the back of his neck and lick. and benrey starts pushing back into him and talking the worst dirty talk and it makes him growl right against his neck and put his teeth there again as a warning not to move but benrey doesnt still, he just keeps talking. so gordon bites down, hard, cutting him off mid sentence with a yelp

f. fucking. benrey......arching his back into it.......pressing his hips up as high as theyll go......the angles bro.....the angles

> also: gordon popping boners more easily, even when he's just platonically excited w/ benrey..... yeah... :)

> like the thing about this is just that he got so excited from the wrasslin that he popped a boner....wasnt even thinking of horny.....

> not until benrey started gasping and arching back into him. then hes immediately aware of how this looks...like hes already basically in the position in his fantasies hes just rutting against him in the imitation of fucking

> gordon getting more frenzied by the little sounds benrey is making as he clamps down on his neck, drool dripping down his chin. benrey braces himself with one hand and gets the other to pull his pants down and then tug on the leg of gordon's down a bit because gordon is kind of. not thinking straight right now. gordon gets the message and fumbles with the buttons to get it down and like. haha i thinnk it would be fun if benrey prepped himself before this and gordon notices like. you really managed to prep urself this time? god, you really wanted this to happen. but maybe benrey had been doing it the last few times cause gordon would get in his space again sometimes and things were tense

NO GOD THIS IS GOOD. LIKE. oh my god gordon just like bitching at him and getting up in his face and Growling a couple times before while his pants are all tented from the inadvertent excitement boners that he doesnt even realize hes having.....and benrey might not be smart but hes not stupid

theres like a 50% chance theyre gonna fuck at any given time he realizes so like. why not......

even if it doesnt work out in the moment benrey still spends the whole time hopped up on the knowledge that they could have, that he was the little fucking pervert who got himself all prepped just in case gordon decided todays the day hes just gonna mount him, and honestly the way he beats his meat and fucks himself afterwards might be nearly as good as the real deal, just from that little bit of self-inflicted degradation

like u said...........he really wanted it to happen

> hhh.... maybe gordon ruts a bit against his ass and benrey guides him in and. he makes a deep growling rumble when he bottoms out. benrey feels it through his chest and gets a full body shiver as he's filled. i dont think hes fully developed his knot yet but its a tight fit. he starts fucking hard and fast into him while open mouthed panting, he cant keep his face away from the benrey's neck, licking up the sweat and burying his face there to breathe in his scent

the fucking . the desperation......every instinct in his body has been telling him to fuck benrey - yes, that benrey, fucking benrey - into the ground for......weeks now? months??

dudes probably tried everything he can think of to overcome it and to think about literally anything else when he gets off but nobody he fucks even comes close to smelling as good as benrey did when gordon had him pinned and gasping and sweating and he could smell the want rolling off him in waves.....and it sucks massive dick and he hates it

> hes been driven crazy by this thought for so long.....cant fucking control himself. wh. what if gordon managed to get a hold of a piece of benrey's clothes that he left and held it up to his face when he let himself jack off to this particular thought so he could get the scent but it jsut wasnt the same without his warm, panting body below him . he always nuts the hardest when he has it though

huffing benreys undershirt and desperately rutting into a pillow on his hands and knees with his ass fully up and hes just utterly debased right now

sad and pathetic gordon freeman humping his pillow like a dog and whining thinking about fucking benrey. if his past self could see himself like this right now he would be disgusted

> !!!!!!!!1 HIM GETTING INTO THE MOUNTING POSITION ON INSTINCT WHEN HE DOES IT...YOUR BRAIN ! i think that gordon would definitely give everything hes got to benrey when he finally gets to fuck him.

> now that hes actually doing it he's just out of his goddamn mind. benrey already being ready for him, slick and hot, just letting him push in .....i think he would definitely go insane

dudes never fucked so hard or so mindlessly in his life......for once all the neuroses just fly out the window. overcome by instinct

> letting out all these whines and moans, not even caring for how loud hes being... benrey's wanted this so fucking bad hes just eating it up, pushing back on him like an animal and getting a power trip that he made gordon this unhinged

thinking about him just being utterly shocked when benrey guides him in and he can just bury himself all the way to the hilt so easily and it makes something in his brain snap

> gordon doesnt even tell benrey when hes close, benrey can just start to feel his knot swell inside him and how it stretches him a bit past what he prepared for...but he wants it in him so fucking bad, he just lets gordon keep fucking into him

like. oh my god. does benrey even know about the knot or is this a brand new and fun surprise for him

> I DONT KNOW......I JUST REALLY LIKE THE THOUGHT OF HIM BEING A BIT CAUGHT OFF GUARD BY IT....

> being caught off guard by it but being so turned on by the feeling of it filling him that he lets out this really high, needy sound. which goes straight to gordon's dick and he just pushes into him harder and jolts his whole body with it. maybe he h....he bites down on the other side of his neck again and thrusts in one more time before coming deep in him. just shuddering from it, eyes squeezed shut and jaw locked around benrey

benrey just fuckin. face down ass up and arching his back as high as he can

(mumbling very quietly) it might be cool also if. gordon maybe.....started growling some things as he got close. a certain something. a word

you know......just......bent over benreys back......arms wrapped around benreys chest and fingers digging into the soft flesh (maybe even his titties, if youre feeling spicy).......pistoning his hips in staccato bursts while he growls.........u bh hhhhh......"mine". over and over not even realizing hes doing it b/c his brain is so fogged out on the sheer delight of rawing benrey after having thought about it non-stop

(mumbling so quietly im speaking at a pitch below the human hearing threshold) benrey hoarsely saying "'m yours, 'm yours" while hes got one hand jammed underneath himself to tug at his dick is the thing that sets gordon off and makes him come, perhaps. perhaps

and gordon just.....slumps over him, leaning his full body weight on him, panting weakly into his ear while his hips subconsciously rut just a little bit, arms still wrapped around benrey but otherwise as useless as a bump on a log while benreys jerking himself off to the wild new feeling of having that knot stretch him open and tug at him every time gordon shifts his hips

gordon nuts and becomes utterly useless but at least his knots still fat as hell so benreys still got something to work with

(sobbing) i just want to see men acting like animals leave me olone..... its about the submission to instinct......the degradation and dehumanization......and also the scent kink its all about the fucking scent kink. its about wanting to huff a guy you pretend you hate like hes a fucking magic marker and its about wanting to make him smell like u

> for scent kink, Gordon's boners due to sweaty benrey hehehehe. this is narsty -> Benrey is like "yeesh that was a lot of exertion" after their first almost-sex wrasslin match, and gets embarassed, so next time he like, wears a bunch of old spice.... but gordon doesn't get as excited. like yeah he can feel him against his back and yeah he's not soft but.. he's not panting or as hard. benrey thinks real hard when he gets home

> CLEAN SWEAT OK ITS A COMBATIBILITY THING OK. IT IS. LOOK UP THE SCIENCE OK I ...walks away. clown shoez

YOU ARE SO FUCKING CORRECT THANK U

> Maybe next time He doesn't bother with the old spice at all, and he gets real into the wrasslin... hell maybe he even uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh gets gordon's head under his arm im just saying

I DIDNT WANNA BE THE ONE TO SAY IT BUT NO YEAH THATS COOL. ITS A VERY COOL THOUGHT

think about......dogboy gordon roughhousing and getting pinned down himself and snapping his teeth up at benrey like joking but not joking. you know

they both start just getting really into roughhousing b/c sometimes gordons brain gets Stressed The Fuck Out by all the added stimulation to the senses of being pupy......theres too many sounds and smells sometimes and it makes him even more neurotic and makes him start acting up and getting irritable and trying to start shit until he exerts himself enough to tire his brain out and make it shut up

maybe even like.....in the interim after black mesa but before he runs into benrey again, gordon becomes a fucking hot mess b/c he doesnt know how to deal with it all and the only way he got thru black mesa without his brainstem snapping in half was b/c he and benrey would start shit and start fighting and wrestling and the rest of the science team eventually shrugged and accepted this as a (very weird) part of their life now. he looks like hes one minor inconvenience away from a panic attack and its so sad

any kind of physical exercise would help (he takes up jogging when hes feeling stressed out, which is a lot, and hes gotten some really nice legs by this point) but theres just something different about the roughhousing. its a mental exercise as well as a physical one, so it exhausts his brain more, and unbeknownst to him, he just gets fucking endorphins from the way benrey smells and from being able to mark him with all the up-close physical contact theyre getting. so. hence the wrestling and roughhousing and gordons occasional tendency to just pounce the guy in public and start fighting him with his tail wagging and thumping like crazy

it might be even better if gordon attempts to roughhouse with just about the whole science crew at some point, just for a point of comparison

like.....its usually good, its satisfying, and it wears him out and lets him function like a human being......but theres just something about roughhousing with benrey thats really satisfying and he doesnt have the emotional intelligence to figure out what it is

gordon freeman is an idiot, is what im saying

> tommy indulges him and probably lets him win a few times, coomer soundly wins out every time and bubby probably...loses some before getting pissy LOL. i think that its fun for him to get the most Good Feelings out of roughhousing with benrey.....

AUUUUGHHH WHAT IF HE LICKED BENREYS FACE THO

g gbfbhhh god im obsessed with the way benrey laughs at him and asks "what the fuck is wrong  with you?" in the act 3 commentary and thats the exact kind of vibe im feeling from him about like. everything gordon does in pupymode

> Okay, before I go to bed, I shall leave you with a Dog Thought™. Gordon probably wouldn’t be the “best trained” dog in the world because, well, he doesn’t have anyone to make him listen or obey. Heck, given his need to be in control, he probably thinks he’s the leader of the proverbial pack and nobody can tell him what to do. He’d probably slip and do quite a few “rude” and obnoxious dog things, including but not limited to being all over Benrey.

> Trying to goad him into roughhousing. Licking his face. Being in his space to the point that it even starts to make Benrey raise an eyebrow. Inappropriate marking and whatnot. [cough] And what if Benrey--in a weird reversal of the roles we usually give--is stuck with the task of… training Gordon… to behave…

> YOU KNOOOOW. Because pitting alpha dog Gordon against Benrey, who is trying to get him to be “good”...

> … Well, that could be interesting.

> Imagine if you will: Benrey realizing he needs to get Gordon under control. As much as he likes the attention, it's becoming too much. Relentless. Tables have been turned and now he's the one that's a little overwhelmed by the situation because, well, Gordon is running on pure instinct half the time. Making it hard to do things. Making it hard to live his life. Always in his bubble which was, like, fine at first but now he can't do anything without feeling a wet tongue on his face or having Gordon trying to goad him into rough housing.

> He needs so much attention. Has so much energy. It's too much.

> So, he decides he's going to try to "train" Gordon to not... do that. Benrey trying to assert dominance over Gordon, as if he were just a normal dog. Gordon, who has already marked Benrey and decided that Benrey belongs to him does not take to this very well. This is not how the chain of command works. This isn't how the chain of command works at all.

> Benrey, struggling to curb him through praise and admonitions--"good boy," "bad boy," tossing him ~treats~ if he does something right--is now facing off with Gordon, who is both enamored with the attention he's getting but utterly pissed off by the fact Benrey is trying to stop him from doing what he wants.

losing it at the tables being turned and now gordons the annoying fucker getting up in benreys business all the time and never leaving him alone. he deserves this

> They're basically both unmovable objects and unstoppable forces. Benrey is stubborn and isn't going to give up all his sweet PS3 time because Gordon won't stop humping his leg, and Gordon is not going to give up his God given right to make Benrey his property. But Benrey isn't completely averse to the idea of being Gordon's bitch. He just wants to be his bitch on his own terms.

> So, in a surprising show of... well, intelligence on Benrey's behalf, he starts redirecting Gordon's energy towards what HE wants Gordon to do.

> That's how you handle misbehaving dogs anyway. You redirect their energy. That's what all the books on dog training says anyway, and Benrey's inclined to believe it because he's read it in all two books on the subject he casually flipped through.

> So, when Gordon starts getting in his space, he starts redirecting him to touch where he wants touched. "Good boy." When Gordon starts getting a little rough, he purposefully positions himself so he gets the most out of it. "Good boy." When Gordon's licking his face, he starts trying to guide that tongue down to his neck. Feels better there. "Good boy."

> Because he's not a complete idiot. Him and Gordon both know this is sexually charged at this point. And Gordon... Gordon can bend his behaviors a little bit as he's being directed if he still gets to do what he wants (in a way), and Benrey still gets to be fondled by the nerd.

> "But part of the problem is that he is in Benrey's space all the time!" Yeah, but Benrey figured that out, too. You know what shuts up Gordon real fast? Pushing him back down on the other end of the couch and telling him to stay. And if he listens, he slowly, carefully hand feeds Gordon a treat as a reward. Pushing it into his mouth, making sure it goes all the way in. Letting Gordon lick the last bits of taste off of his fingers. He usually sits still after that. "Good boy."

i have a thought thats almost unrelated but im so desperate to give this scenario the proper context

thinking about......gordon getting out of black mesa and hes still dogboy.....and hes attempting to go back to life as normal now that benreys out of his hair for ever but one day his pupy nose catches That Fucking Smell on the air and he realizes that benreys not fucking dead. he thought benrey was fucking dead, b/c he killed him

gordon freeman losing his mind for a solid week or two trying to hunt that smell down (why?? to prove a point?? to try to kill benrey again??? uh huh.) and then when he does hunt benrey down, its like.....well, what was the plan, bud? you found him, and now youre having a staredown outside a 7/11 while benreys frozen halfway through his big gulp

i literally forgot what i was typing b/c dogy gordon tum y rub b gtfhgbb ggfabgbbg

and.....well......he doesnt know exactly what his game plan was, but he does know that benrey cant be trusted as far as u can throw him, and hes not about to let benrey wreak havoc on new mexico if he can help it, so now his new hobby is......tracking benrey across the city to keep an eye on him

and thats how they keep ending up in close proximity

and thats how u start looping in the whole role reversal thing.....suddenly gordons the one that benrey cant shake......hes a bloodhound and hes got the scent

SORRY im SORRY i crave context with the same ferocity that i crave, like, air

and then they start roughhousing when gordon tackles him to the ground one day to stop him from doing.....something......and gordon snaps being to being a normal person so quickly afterwards that its dizzying. turns out a solid 80% of what he really wanted was a sparring buddy

> good afternoon everyone this is not horny in the slightest but i just wanted to say- you know that thing dogs do where they get REALLY excited and playful when you come home from a long day at work? well i’m just thinking about. y’know how benrey has a tendency to just, vanish for a while and come back like nothing happened? think it’d be cute if he were gone for a particularly long stretch of time b4 catching up with the science team again and gordon RESPONDS in his typical annoyed, bratty fashion while his body language is saying something completely different (he still hasn’t mastered the art of puby)

> like, u know, tail wagging a hundred miles a minute, ears perked up and attentive, subconsciously getting all up in benrey’s space

Im going to Cry thats so fucking cute wtf wtf  wt ff

still going insane thinking about the “good boy” thing......like...... its all fun and games until hes grappling his best friend benrey and hes got benrey in a headlock and hes plastered against benreys back from head to toe and his tails thumping excitedly against the floor and hes panting hot and harsh right against benreys ear and benrey takes that moment, right there, to choke out "good boy"

its half outright horny and half power play b/c benreys banking that either theyre gonna fuck or gordons gonna let go and be like "what the fuck, man" and then benrey can get the drop on him again

the way gordon just goes stiff after he says it.....breath getting shaky.....dick twitching once against benreys ass and the guy can fucking feel it clear as day......Augh

his tail slows.....and then fires right back up again when he tentatively rocks his hips against benreys ass and feels the sound benrey makes more than he hears it......and like for fucks sake theyve been dancing around how horny their roughhousing sessions are for weeks, this guy deserves to finally get his rocks off by dry humping benreys ass while benreys getting spots in his vision from how tightly gordons got his arm wrapped around his neck. he deserves this

gordons free hand slowly opening up and pressing flat against benreys shirt, then crawling under it so that he can feel the bare skin of his stomach......rocking his hips against the dip between benreys cheeks and whimpering when benrey says it again, breathless and hoarse. "good boy." his tongue poking out to lick a broad, wet stripe up the side of benreys neck to taste the salt and sweat and the hormones, jesus christ, hes never been able to taste if somebodys horny before but its rolling off of him in waves.......and gordons breath comes out so loud and harsh and desperate when benreys leg lifts up a little bit for him to slot his own between them more easily

just mumbling stupid horny shit like "fuck benrey, you taste so good" while his tongue lolls out of his mouth and he licks the curve of benreys ear and rolls benrey onto his stomach b/c something in the back of his brain is whispering to him that it would be a really, really good idea, and hes originally got benrey just crushed flat against the floor with his full body weight but benrey takes a rattling breath and tells him to ease up, get up offa him.....

and gordons confused at this point b/c he was pretty sure this was where this was going, he was being a good boy, but that thought doesnt last very long b/c benreys shuffling into position under him, raising his hips and pushing gordons up with him while his face and torso are flat against the floor, and, Oh. hes. hes doing that. this is what theyre fucking doing now

> gordon taking the collar of benrey’s shirt in his mouth in an crude imitation of scruffing him

every fucking bone in gordons body is telling him to move his hips, fuck benrey stupid, bury himself to the hilt, but he cant do that when theyre both still clothed so he does the next best thing and ruts against benrey like he fucking means it and like if he just tries hard enough, gets enough friction, itll be just like fucking him for real......

hes so dizzied by looping thoughts of he wants this, he wants you to mount him, like youre a filthy fucking animal, arent you? you sick fuck, you wanna mark him and breed him and hed let you, hed beg you for it, look, hes doing it right now and when he comes back down to earth, yeah, benrey is begging right now, isnt he. while hes palming at the front of his sweatpants and whimpering and calling gordon a good boy, attempting to tug his pants down to his knees so gordon can rut against bare flesh, and gordon slows down just enough to let him do it and to fumble open his own zipper to ease some of the agonizing pressure

gordon fumbling his dick out of his underwear to line it up between benreys fat cheeks and god, the feeling of skin against skin is so much fucking better than chafing against his jeans that it makes him growl against benreys neck and benrey cant pump his fucking dick fast enough. hes so encouraging, what with all those little sounds hes making and the way hes arching his back and pressing his hips up as high as theyll go, groaning into the crook of his arm "fuckin, fuck me, bro, j-just like that"

> thinking...... they both get so lost in it, they both can’t hold back long enough to fuck for real. this is too hot, benrey feels something hot and wet on his ass and gordon is curling into him. benrey’s never felt so simultaneous turned on and frustrated that he’s still empty, he’s still gonna have to wait, snd ironically that denial pushes him over too

GOD yes fuckin. coming on his ass b/c gordons so frantic and desperate that he cant wait...... but seeing his cum all over benreys ass is deeply satisfying in its own way. he smears it deep into benreys skin to mark him like that

> oh hey imma be nasty sorry but Gordon all cum-high just sort of manouvering Benrey until he can start licking his cock clean bc he likes to uh. i mean benrey's all wet and you know. he likes it. and benrey comes from that, before he can even think about sucking him off properly

> he doesnt have a thought left in his head at the moment... and can u blame him? so he just uh follows he nose.......  and benrey's brain is deleted except for "GORDON FREEMAN ON MY DICK????????" bouncing around like a screensaver yes

> yeah he's not even trying to suck him off really, hes not gotten that far yet cuz hes so cumbrained, gone stupid, etc

im gonna be gross here too okay......and like. fucking. huffing and burying his nose into the crook of benreys thighs b/c he smells so intensely like sex and sweat and it makes gordon lightheaded

> YEAAH maybe he starts licking there before he gets up to his dick. it's not like he's dragging it out really so it's not long but benrey's gaping like a fish. he's trying to say something sorta but he can't get any words out and isn't even sure what he himself is trying to say

maybe he cant help himself and he just starts licking and biting on impulse b/c its your resident fuckin thigh guy here and i think benrey deserves to get em chomped like a drumstick

> and then that's gordon's tongue on his dick, bro and this neurotic mf looking so pleased and blissed out as he sloppily licks him all over is a sight he couldn't have even cooked up in his imagination before now

> benrey not coherently enough to warn him he’s like right there, his babbling incoherently at the tease of gordon’s nose and lips is gonna make him- and then his Tounge darts out and it’s over, the start of the end and he’s spurting all over gordon’s completely surprised face without even being jerked or licked through it

> maybe since gordon's been so stressed and keyed up for so long that benrey coming is a surprise but still doesn't shock him enough to clear the cumbrain, so he licks ben clean after that too, while he's twitching and whimpering etc

> think that benrey massive meat being useless and barely even touched is hip and rad even in the context of him technically being in the higher position of power

> then rests his head on beny's belly for a while, feeling very accomplished and tired. he'll panic later, don't worry

god im still thinking about. pillow humping/voyeurism

gordon freemans a bad fucking dog and sometimes he cant help himself and just starts rutting into a pillow with his ass up and his face buried in one of benreys undershirts while hes just panting and mumbling shit the whole time about benrey, benrey, benrey, why is he so fucking obsessed with benrey and with thinking about mounting him just like hes doing to his poor abused pillow every week

and. you know. maybe one day......benrey kind of.....catches him in the act. i think that would be cool. just coming home one day and cracking open his bedroom door and seeing gordon freeman on all fours, his teeth sunk deep into one pillow and another pillow between his thighs, desperately fucking it while hes groaning benreys name b/c he sure as shit was not expecting him back that early, which is why his cumbrain made him feel confident enough to crawl into benreys bed and roll around in it and mainline benreys scent from his clothes and nut on his pillow (and then feel fucking bad about it and frantically try to clean it off)

and benrey just slooowly steps back with his heart pounding out of his chest for possibly the first time in his whole life b/c he did not think gordon freeman ever wanted to fuck him, but here he is, using benreys pillow as an imitation of the real thing and jerking off in his bed

just turns right the fuck back around and goes into the bathroom and splashes some water on his face and stares down at his sudden boner

THANKS FOR READING ALL OF THIS B/C THIS ISNT EVEN GETTING INTO THE PISS STUFF THAT WEVE OBVIOUSLY BEEN THINKING ABOUT. SORRY FOR BEING LIKE THIS