#also for those wondering. I'm not deleting the asks as I feel like that would not be helpful. feels like obscuring evidence
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Breaking my little self imposed online time-out because of course, it's non beneficial and not needed. Thanks for the kind words especially to the one ask(very sweet thank you), I just sometimes need to be reminded that not everything is my fault due to me being raised to believe that to be true. Also trying to be nice to myself today because I have oral surgery tomorrow and allowing myself some social interactions is a bit important. Also uh, enjoy some art I did this morning because I wanted to come back with some.
Marolo talking off Asil's hear. He just talking about all his supposed grievances with other Ever Autumn residents while they're just happy to listen to him ramble.
#sorry for being weird lately. it's been a bad few weeks for me and it's reflecting too much which is something I try but fail to not do#also for those wondering. I'm not deleting the asks as I feel like that would not be helpful. feels like obscuring evidence#uh do I tag this as art since it also has a ramble attached to it? i don't know#art#c: asil#c: marolo#no fr tags because I'd feel bad doing so :P also I am not asking for pity. just ocd requires me to word and explain my thoughts or else
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Can you make a tutorial on how you world build and make ocs? I can't seem to make any people in my brain, but then when I try to come up with environments jobs, beliefs and little details to slowly come up with someone, I think: well I don't really know how people have influenced the world- it's a weird loop
To be honest, I don't think I can! Writing is an extremely personal process. The way I write is directly related to how I process things, what I find important in stories, years of my own analysis of my and other's writing, etc... The way you write will be unique to you, as well. But I can explain how I personally think of it.
The short answer:
Write. Write anything and everything, it's a tool to explore your ideas. Analyze your own writing, and write more. Then, as you discover which ideas you want to develop, write more to explore them more. You won't know what you want otherwise!
The long answer:
I think this kind of loop is common. It's easy to feel like everything needs to be done "at once," because our job as writers is to make elements logically fit with each other for our readers. But as you've discovered, developing multiple elements simultaneously isn't really possible, or at least is extremely difficult.
Personally, when I think of writing, I break it into three major elements; characters, world, and plot. As much as possible every scene explores one or more of these, and as much as possible these three things tie back into what I personally consider most important: theme.
Everything I do is in service of the themes I want to present. Without them my events feel aimless. It can take a while to discover them, but they're the core of my work. You will have to discover what you feel is the core of yours. Analyzing other media helps with this too.
Concepts in your brain exist in a state of infinite potential. But when you start writing you have to start making choices, which removes potential as you move forward... But you have to move forward anyways. If there's ideas you want to explore later, you can always explore them later.
What this ends up meaning, to answer your question, is that I don't think of my characters as "people in my brain" or my worlds as something people have influenced... Not at their core, at least. They are tools that I use to represent specific ideas. Obviously they're also my blorbos, but mostly they're serving a specific narrative purpose.
So above all else... Write. Write, and discover what you're writing about, and then start over and write with that in mind. Keep doing this. But you have to write!
#I wish there were a cleaner answer to this kind of thing#and I also wish that there were a way to answer that didnt feel like 'just do it lol'#but... genuinely you kind of just have to do it!#I find it helps to reframe writing as trying to figure out which ideas I don't like#then if I write anything that feels bad to me#it's not about being a bad writer or anything like that. it's just something I dont want in my story and I delete it.#like if you find yourself naturally coming up with worldbuilding elements. its okay to just start there!#you can start like 'I really want giant mushrooms' and then start thinking about how cool that would be#and like oooh what if there were really cool caves full of mushrooms and all glowy yeaaah#then you start building people from that. colonies of fungal people or something. this is still worldbuilding#then you might think now. whats a plot that could go with this and show off my cool mushrooms.#maybe the mushrooms are all connected and the main one is dying and no one knows why. it's a classic plot.#if you still dont feel like you can find a character in that. keep going! why is it dying? how can it be saved? can it? if not then why?#etc etc etc. when I am writing I actually ltierally write out 101 questions like this as I'm going and then I answer them#and if I cant answer them. then I figure out a different situation that doesnt bring that question up LMFAO#eventually you can decide you want a hero who idfk will replace the big mushroom or something. a sacrifice and immortality simultaneously#then you can be like yeah so my themes are probably about sacrifice. connection to others. love for your community. stuff like that#and then you can go back to your world and say. yeah I think that people should have telepathic communication on some level!#I'm just making all this up right now but I just want to illustrate somehow how this kind of cyclical process can actually be a tool#because it's not about getting it all right at once. its about leaning into the cycle and how it guides you through developing these#anyways idk if this makes any sense. if this doesnt feel like it works for you then it probably literally doesnt#but writing more and analyzing writing more is ALWAYS good#it will never make your writing worse to do those things.#unfortunately (said with all the love in the world) writing is an endless process of learning more about who you are and what you care abou#its wonderful but it's hard and theres no way to skip that process#good luck!#asks#anon#writing stuff#oh also if at any point you go hm. that big thing isnt working for me I think...
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Been on a bit of a roll with posting my drawings lately, just getting rid of some backlog. Anyways, here's a funny doodle of the batkids bothering their big brother Nightwing on a date with Starfire. They're so annoying lmao.
Its kinda a sequel to this comic from way back. I say kinda because I meant to put with the comic itself but I was too lazy to do so. But I'm posting it now!
Speaking of that comic, I got an ask asking for a follow-up to it showcasing Dick and Starfire's kids getting some 'revenge' for them. Here's Mar'i (NightStar) and Jake Grayson popping in from the future! (btw I accidentally deleted the ask, feel bad esp considering how long it took to actually do art they wanted.)
They're all having so much fun! Look at little Jake, I actually wasn't sure if I should put him here since Mar'i is from Kingdom Come and Jake is from The New Order. Two different universes, the ask did ask for both of them so I did so. Also I forgot his eyes were green, aw well.
Speaking of Kingdom Come, I remember reading that in my middle school library along with some other DC/Batman comics. I was already a total weeb and loved manga so I decided to try out western comics too (since I did like the DCAU cartoons). Read them for a few weeks got bored, then picked up Akira and wouldn't read superhero comics again for more than a decade. Just weren't as easy to get into as manga, took some effort to try them again.
Anyways, here's an extra Mar'i as Nightstar:
I love her outfit, such a wonderful design. And its fun to play around with it too, its fun. But I'll probably take off those wings on her headband, they clutter the design I think. Gosh I love doing her hair its so fun.
Here's an extra Mar'i, with Jake included:
Would Mar'i be Robin as a kid? Or take on a different kid hero persona? How about Jake? Just played around with some costumes for them. Look at Jake clinging to Mar'i, think she'll be a good big sister?
Played around with Nightstar's outfit some more . Wanted to draw them longer so make it look like actual wings on her, and also like tassels on a performer's costumes.
Well this was fun to do, hope you like all this!
#DC Comics#Mar'i Grayson#Jake Grayson#Dick Grayson#Koriand'r#Starfire#Cassandra Cain#Jason Todd#Stephanie Brown#Tim Drake#Duke Thomas#Damian Wayne#Training Wheels au#my art
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why am i just now finding out about thisisnotawebsitedotcom i feel a little stupid.. then again i dont have the Book of Bill so maybe im lucky to know about it ???
#rocket talk #gravity falls #miss this show. anyway twink cipher fuckign jumpscared me
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👓 the-nerdiest-glasses Follow
Why Flatland counts as an object show: an essay
Keep reading
🔧 warp-pipe-sfx Follow
Why Flatland does NOT count as an object show: a rebuttal
Keep reading
⛓️ chainsaw-massacres Follow
why flatland isnt an object show: its a book + movie you assholes
#this argument is fucking stupid its just flatland
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🔘 join-my-evil-polycule-deactivated08142020 asked: Im going to tear apart your circuitboard until its broken irreparably
🌈 super-rainbow-epic-computer Follow
lol ok have fun w that 👍
also do u know any recipes for roasted pumpkin seeds the internets failing me rn and im cooking a big dinner for me and my bf
🔘 join-my-evil-polycule-deactivated08142020
Oh yeah sure https://www.jessicagavin.com/how-to-roast-pumpkin-seeds/#wprm-recipe-container-35845
🔘 join-my-evil-polycule-deactivated08142020
Wait why am I telling you this go die I hate you
🌈 super-rainbow-epic-computer Follow
thx for the help!
☝i-date-iconic-posts Follow
Date of origin: November 3rd, 2021
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❌ mephonex-deletes-your-favs Follow
~~Welcome to MePhoneX deletes your favs!!~~
I'm mod Xav (the only mod rn - -"), here to cause trauma to your favorite characters :)! PLEASE keep in mind that submissions will take a while to get to, because I have to photoshop out the limbs + background or even completely recreate someone's object if they're transparent!
The background flag is in the header and the X (recreated from an image of MePhoneX) I overlay on top is the profile picture if you want to make your own :) just @ this blog and I'll reblog it!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~❌~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
RULES ABOUT SUBMISSIONS:
NO INANIMATE INSANITY CONTESTANTS. I would like to avoid Apollo's Dodgeball thanks (plus it's insensitive)
No algebralien or algebralien-adjacent characters! I love those guys too I get it but I honestly don't have a good method of 'deleting' them planned. Feel free to do it on your own time though!
If someone asks me to take down a submission with them in it I will do it without questions. This is for a variety of reasons, but I think you get it.
Alright, that's it! Have fun :)
#not xed out #mod xav #pinned post #your fav is #your fave is #mephone #mephonex #inanimate insanity #ii2 finale
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📁 sticky-note-hit-post Follow
has anyone else wondered why this spaghetti code webbed site can connect across DIFFERENT UNIVERSES??? or is that just me
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🦀 thesamepictureofbaxtereveryday Follow
follow for the same picture of my crab every day!!!!! look at him :D
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anonymous asked: greeny how does it feel to be technically a higher being than most other people on the site
🟢 greenyguy Follow
sir this is a wendys
#i didnt order an existential crisis today :(
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🎤 screamintothemic Follow
todays liveblog!! B)
🎤 screamintothemic Follow
knife and suitcase made it to the finale!! hell yeah so proud of them
🎤 screamintothemic Follow
balloons talk with suitcase didnt go so well :/ i hope they can get some alone time without anyone else so they can like talk properly next time
🎤 screamintothemic Follow
mepad???
🎤 screamintothemic Follow
oh i think the finale challenge is happening
🎤 screamintothemic Follow
baseball looks worried but lightbulb's brushing him off :|
🎤 screamintothemic Follow
ojs backing away from paper??? wh
🎤 screamintothemic Follow
WHJDT THE FUCK
🎤 screamintothemic Follow
WAIT I HAVENT SEEN SOAP IN A WHILE WHERE IS SHE???
🎤 screamintothemic Follow
OH GOD
#mics ramblings #SOAP???!??
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anonymous asked: evil woman are so hot <3 i will do whatever you want queen
🌐 dr-who-could-never Follow
Awwww, this means a lot to me, anon! Could you find Film Reel for me and doxx him? That would be really helpful <3
#He's been evading me #It's really annoying #Hard to take over the world when I have to worry about him 🙄
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🥄 only-a-spoonful Follow
WHY DO I KEEP GETTING SENT ASKS ABOUT PREGNANCY?!
#I'M GOING TO QUIT TUMBLR AT THIS RATE.
(47,284 notes)
📗 journal-of-secrets Follow
if this fuckass hand keeps showing up at the edge of my vision i'm going to hit something
📗 journal-of-secrets Follow
#maybe hes in love with you
what the hell is wrong with you.
#unreality#fake dashboard#rocket talk#roc save#osc#object shows#osc community#object show community#twisted turns reboot#twisted turns#the daily object show#tdos#inanimate insanity#paper puppets take 2#ppt2#ppt2 osc#greenyguy
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Hi guys~! ���👋
Long time no see! Much longer than I ever intended, in fact. Truth be told, I wanted to make a public post sooner, but I've had a lot to catch up on in terms of notifications and messages since logging back in a few days ago. I've also made some changes that I will address shortly, but first of all I wanted to thank those of you who have reached out with so much care and understanding during my absence. Adjusting has been a slow and fragile process for me -still is-, and I sadly haven't responded directly to everyone yet because of it, but I wanted to say how much I appreciate your patience and support nonetheless. 🥹 🙏
Long story short, I was gone for five months due to a huge burnout, then progressively found my spark again somewhere along the way and have since mostly recovered. It was my wonderful friend @drones-of-innocence who reached out to me outside of Tumblr, and her sense of initiative is largely the reason why I managed to make this post in a somewhat reasonable delay. 😅💖 With that said however, I must also mention that I've deleted a lot of stuff from my page and have removed most of my work from the public eye as well. This may seem quite drastic and frankly a little unsettling, but I assure you that it was a thoroughly considered and reasoned decision! The thing is that I was still getting lots of notes on these drawings everyday and… To put it simply, I didn't want that anymore. 🙇♀️ Experiencing popularity was very detrimental to me in the long run and I needed to put an end to it for the sake of my own wellbeing; at least for now.
Which brings me to my next point.
After mulling it over for a while, I've decided that I would not be returning as an active creator in the Mario community this time around. 👐 Making fanart for this franchise (with such a high and continuously maintained degree of involvement) had a lot to do with my health's decline and I've come to realize that I wanted to direct my focus elsewhere going forward. For that reason, there are things which I know will never be repeated again in the future, both in regards to my art and online presence in general, but that's alright. Things change, as they do and should. I'm looking forward to reuniting with folks and would be very happy to stay in touch with those of you who wish to message me privately. Like my lovely pal @istadris said, what matters most about any fandom are the friends you make in it. ☺️
And speaking of which-
@ody-and-fanatu That's so sweet of you, thank you! 💗 I'm glad you've enjoyed my contribution to the fandom. It was fun while it lasted! 💫 My visual ideas may be gone from my page, but most of my written posts and replies are still there for anyone who wants to revisit those at least, so there's that! And I'd also like to answer some of the asks I still have in my inbox at some point. Knowing that you hold my art in such high regard makes really happy! 🥰 Unfortunately, the other account that I have is reserved for my professional work and I prefer to keep them separate from one other, but the good thing is that I intend to go back to this blog occasionally. Hoping to see you around! Cheers! 🥂
@heiressofdoodles Thanks, I appreciate that! ✨ I'm honestly doing much better than I was earlier this Spring. Back then, I was running on empty and on the verge of crashing without even knowing it. Being in constant physical pain was one thing, but feeling mentally and emotionally drained on a daily basis was another entirely, and something had to be done. It took me a moment to really figure out what was wrong, but thankfully I realized very quickly what was causing it and applied the breaks with all my might. One of my main priorities now is to be more alert and respect my own boundaries to make sure that this never happens again. 🥲
@keakruiser Thank you. 🙏💐 I'm just glad to have found my footing again. Feels good to be able to create freely.^^ Hope you're doing well too!
Special thanks also to @pianokantzart, @jelly-fish-wishes, @katlyntheartist, @triniji and @wahooitsamee for their kind words. 🫂 Your graciousness and consideration means a lot to me. 💝
As for all the nice people who sent me anon comments and well wishes, I tried to summarize my thoughts as best I could in this update, but if there's anything else you'd like to say or know, don't hesitate to ask me anytime! Now that I feel like myself again, I think I'm gonna hang out on Tumblr for a little bit. I'll be excited to see what you guys have been up to in the meantime! 🤗 Wishing you all a very good day and pleasant Fall. 🍂
-elita 🌸
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Yes please Axl Heck reader omg
BEETTT!!!
Love thy Sister's Friend
Summary: You've always just been Sue's friend and Axl's never seen you as anything else... So, he says Tw: Axl being a bully, blackmail briefly mentioned Taglist: N/a
Axl was annoying and mean. You weren't necessarily sure why he was the way he was, but that's how he had always been; Especially to you. In fact, he seemed to take joy in being cruel to you. And while one might say he was like that to everyone, it seemed he took more joy into bullying you specifically. You could remember some very distinct times that stuck out to you.
----
You felt a light tug on your hair, causing you to swing your hair back and glare at the perpetrator, Axl. You groaned, ignoring him.
"What are you doing here, dweeb? Don't you have a house?" He walks around the counter to face you and eat his cereal. He takes a nice spoonful, before looking back at you as you roll your eyes.
"My house is being fumigated and your mother offered me to stay here for the next three days."
"Three days? No way-" He turns to his father who happened to walk in. "She's staying here for three days?"
Mike opens the fridge and grabs a beer before turning to Axl and shrugging. "That's what your mother said."
"Uh!" Axl groans. "That's not fair-"
"Hey, take it up with your mother."
He makes an ugly face and sticks his tongue out before heading back to his room.
--
You snuck up on the benchers, looking over, hoping to see a certain someone- Until you were interrupted.
"What are you doing?"
You quickly turned around, blindsided that you were caught by the worse person to be caught by- Axl. He was giving you that look- The one that said he had caught you.
You put a hand on your hip and sighed, "What... am I doing?" You looked around before tilting your head, "Um, I'm not doing anything."
"That's funny," He gestures to the group you were just staring at. "It looks like you're being a pervert."
"Pervert? Like you're one to talk."
He chuckles, before looking back at the group. "I wonder what they'd think if I told them some girl is spying on them?"
"And you think they'd believe you?"
"Yeah, I do," He pulls out his phone, snapping a quick photo of you. "Especially when they see this."
"You wouldn't dare-"
"Oh, but I would."
"God, what is your deal, Axl?"
"You. You are my deal."
You groan, rolling your eyes before crossing your arms. "What do you want?"
"I am so glad you asked."
----
You shook your head thinking of the memory. Axl had you do his chores and clean his room for a whole month. It was a nightmare. But at least he deleted the picture. There was a thought in the back of your mind that told you Axl had never truly planned on showing those boys the photo, but you didn't want to risk it.
You picked at your lunch, disappointed that you were sitting by yourself, since Sue was sick. You sighed, saddened that you were eating lunch alone. But, it could have been worse.
"Oh, wow, eating lunch alone? Ha! What a loser."
Nevermind. It just got as worse as it could get.
Axl took the seat across from you and set his lunch on the table. You had hoped when starting high school that you would have a different lunch than Axl, since he was an upperclassmen, but you were sadly mistaken. Since Axl was sitting with you, his other buddies Sean and Darrin, also decided to sit at your lunch table.
"Sue can't possibly be your only friend." He jokes, pointing his fork at you.
"God, can't you let me be a loser- ALONE?"
He shakes his head, "No, I like to bask in it. Makes me feel alive."
You roll your eyes and pick up your tray before leaving the cafeteria.
----
You sat on the step, before pushing out your dress, hoping your tears wouldn't ruin your makeup, but you were sure it was to late. You felt the water drip down your face and your face was slowly becoming soaked as the tear began to pour from your eyes. You had never felt so humilated by a man who you thought liked you.
You decided to push yourself up and just walk home. Sure, it was far, but it was better than staying at the dance where anyone could see you and laugh.
You walk on the rocky sidewalk, your heel suddenly breaking after getting caught in a hole, causing you to yell and take your heel off before throwing it. As if to make it worse, a car drives by, splashing you in muddy water.
"Aw dude- Fuck You!" You yell, before sighing and deciding it wasn't worth it. This had to be the worse night of your life...
"God, what happened to you?"
You groan when hearing the voice. You wish you had noticed his beaten down car pulling up, because you would have hidden in a bush or something.
"Hey- Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." You said quickly, picking up your pace.
"You sure don't look fine." He stops the car and opens the door causing you to finally look at him. He pats the seat, giving you a look that you knew meant he knew you wouldn't say no.
----
It was quiet as he drove, beside the occasional weird sound the old car made. You weren't sure what to say, since this was the nicest thing Axl had ever done for you.
He didn't ask you what happened, and you were happy about that. The last thing you needed was for him to laugh at you too. You were more than relieved when he pulled into your driveway. You quickly hop out and shut the door, but not before sighing and turning to him.
"Thanks.... Axl. I appreciate it."
He smiles, putting his head down, so he could look at you through the window. "Of course, Y/n. No girl as pretty as you should ever cry because of some asshole guy."
Before you could even question what he meant, he was driving off, leaving you cluelessly watching him. Pretty.... He said you were pretty. Maybe Axl wasn't that bad...
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as a nonBlack person, I sometimes wonder what the appropriate response is to being accused of antiBlackness by someone who isn't Black. if a Black friend told me I had done something antiBlack, I wouldn't question it, I would just ask them what I need to know in order to avoid committing the same transgression in the future. but for nonBlack friends, sometimes I worry that they're trying to white-knight on behalf of Black folks or misunderstanding what Black folks have said. I try to acknowledge that as a nonBlack person who often passes for white, there are antiBlack behaviors that I'm not always aware of and sometimes I will do things that are antiBlack. I worry though that Black folks will see that and think that I'm letting myself off the hook for my racist behaviors, when that's not my intention at all. is there a better way I can approach those conversations?
(I'm sorry if I didn't articulate this well, I'm intellectually disabled and I'm struggling with English today. also, feel free to ignore or delete this ask if you're not comfortable answering it - you don't owe me your emotional labor. I love your blog and I'm trying to be as mindful as possible of my biases being raised in an antiBlack society.)
Tbh, your best bet here is
1) stay ready so you don't have to get ready. If you are making sure you're educating yourself, you'll be less likely to end up in as many of these situations, and when you are in them, you'll have some context and confidence to have the conversation. Because you might be wrong, and you gotta accept that with grace! But you might not be!
2) do your own research. Fact check! This is the internet- people lie! Often! They very often are so ready to be right that they parrot things they do not understand, especially to look "woke" (😭). It reveals that they're not doing it because it's the right thing for the community, but because it makes them feel smarter in front of the audience they ACTUALLY want validation from. You can usually catch this by noticing if that person ever actually interacts with other Black people, or if they're just saying things but get defensive when someone Black actually joins the conversation.
3) admittedly it would help your confidence if you also followed Black people, or had Black friends. It would help you know from people firsthand what matters, what's going on, and how people are responding to it. You have to build real community. If people see you actually care and are trying, they're less likely to believe poor of you than if you just show up claiming to be the Savior of the Blacks. 👍🏾
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so. let's talk about that episode shall we?
major ii 17 spoilers under the cut, and lots of theories. read at your own risk.
divider by strangergraphics ✮⋆˙
I have no idea what to even think about that episode. I watched this at about 8 in the morning my time, and now I am in shambles and have been for the last several hours. I'm going to dump all my theories in this one blog post.
my first topic, and the elephant in the room - THIS IS NOT THE LAST ACT. NO WAY.
I've seen people asking if this is the last act and therefore the last ever episode in the series, and to that I say... obviously not. there's still so many plot points to be resolved.
like, for example, why would they add in a scene of the prime shimmers going to the contestant grounds if they weren't going to do something for it later?
yes I know that they were already used as merely a small plot device to allow the episode to progress, but when you think of it in the grand scheme of things there must be something more to it.
also, and - I may be going crazy here - but there might possibly be some sort of parallel of when cobs tells mephone to go "home" with him. we now know that all those previous theories of mephone being made with the shimmer egg are correct, because of fan. since that is the case, I feel like it would make sense for mephone's true home to be with the prime shimmer, right?
I feel like this could be a plot point in the next act. mephone feels more at home with the prime shimmer than he does with cobs (obviously). he would meet them and realise he feels strangely connected to them, and then he figures everything out which leads up to him discovering his true family. and I hope cobs rots and dies FOREVERRR
another point to add onto this is that remember how soap and mic took that photo together in the last episode?
well, soap was going through her recently deleted.
on apple (and I'm assuming meeple as well) devices, it takes 30 days for photos in the recently deleted photo to be fully erased from the device. before that, you can restore and fully erase as many photos as you like.
at the end of this episode when everything created by melife has been erased, baxter is seen walking up to soap's phone here.
in a scene where everything is gone, don't you think this is weirdly symbolic? they didn't have any other reason to show this which leads up to the next theory.
mephone is most likely going to find a way to bring everyone back through some way, and it might be through this system. I'm not saying I know how he's gonna do it, but this will totally be some sort of factor in the next act. hopefully.
second topic - what about bow and bot?
and I know what you all are thinking. I know that bow is definitely not gone, since she obviously isn't supported by melife anymore. (I'm a little curious, bow mentioned that she can't escape the confines of purgatory mansion, but since now that's been deleted, would she be able to roam free? just a thought...)
the same could be said for bot, since they were made by fan and test tube and not by melife. but there's been some speculation going around saying that since bot was made out of materials from test tube's lab, they would be deleted too right?
I actually think that's not necessarily the case.
we have no idea if test tube's materials or her lab was made out of things generated by melife. for all we know, she could have ordered the mechanical parts from overseas. she could have dug up the space she needed for the lab herself.
all we know is that the locations made for the game itself are generated by melife. however, test tube's lab has really nothing to do with the contest because it is its own thing.
so I think this entire theory is genuinely plausible. bot might still be out there somewhere, and I'm not going to say on the invitational island because we don't know if that entire thing was deleted too or just the floor's face. they genuinely might be making their way over to the season 2 grounds right now, wondering what is going on.
which could possibly make way for a bow and bot meeting, AND they might team up too to save the day!! that definitely feels like a direction that adam would be going for, and I personally would totally stand for it.
third topic - can mephone X be avoided or stopped somehow?
here's what I'm thinking.
lightbulb actually managed to dodge mephone X here, and even though yes she did get got in the end, you can at least delay the process or maybe even outrun them altogether.
there must be a reason as to why only the person who is being targeted can see mephone X, but that's a theory for another day.
now, this part is less of a theory and more of an idea - that is supported by numerous twitter posts - but what if you are able to see mephone X with another me device thingy?
think about it, what if taking a picture or just going through the camera app enables others to see them, therefore allowing the contestants to potentially disable mephone X for good?
assuming my theory is correct and they do come back somehow, I doubt that adam forgot about this plothole completely. there must be more significance to this in the future.
we all know how the main writing team writes. they think of everything, down to the small details, and the reference previous things that were thought to be insignificant before!! reminds me of bfdi in a way.
fourth topic - misc stuff/yapping
and well of course I had to dedicate an entire section to just my yapping alone. I know I'm still pretty new to blogging, I don't have many posts yet, but I think it's worth it to just leave my thoughts out here for people to cry over also.
firstly... OJ and paper's last conversation was an argument. lol!! XD!! also it was so funny as to how paper got so ticked off after salt said OJ is her boyfriend. I understand that he might have still felt pretty heated after everything that had been going on, + the argument they had earlier. and I know that OJ is very important to paper. but I still think it was really hilarious. some could say jealous. "he's not your boyfriend he was MINE!!"
ALSO!!! also also also THIS fucking scene...
this is gonna haunt me for the rest of my life man. what the fuck. imagine if slasher movies were like this... like jigsaw or something. if I saw this in a slasher movie I would be terrified for my LIFE (something these contestants don't have).
I really really liked the scene where paintbrush was crying over lightbulb btw. jazzy did an amazing job at that, and they said that they didn't even cry to be able to voice it!! she's a very talented va, I aspire to be like her someday...
another thing I wanted to mention is this tweet made by brian a while ago (screenshot I nabbed from me_phone4 on twitter) yes this is absolutely going to be for inanimate insanity. no questions asked. hope is on the horizon guys.
ok I think that is the end of this post. likes and reblogs are appreciated, and also reblog if you want to add onto my theories later!
for now, signing off!! - CURSED MAGICIAN
#stage.drive#osc#osc community#object show#object shows#inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity act 2#ii#ii osc#ii2 17#ii 17#ii 17 spoilers#osc discussion#ii discussion#ii predictions#fan theories#ii theory
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Hii! Volks, Scale and Cole's reaction (separately) if someone calls their s/o ugly?
Volks:
-Volks doesn't do social media. He doesn't have any and he doesn't look at it either.
-He finds the whole thing kind of ridiculous anyway- why would you care what strangers online have to say? You show him cute videos of dogs sometimes though, so he figures it can't all be bad.
-When Volks notices that you're a little downtrodden, he doesn't suspect that social media would be the cause.
-You brush him off and say that it's stupid when he asks what's wrong, which immediately rubs him the wrong way.
-He's your boyfriend- he doesn't care if it's stupid, if something is bothering you, he wants to know.
-If you keep trying to avoid it he'll end up putting his forehead against yours and staring into your eyes until you say it.
-You eventually give in and admit that someone called you ugly under one of the new pictures you posted.
-Normally Volks would probably agree that it's stupid to be upset over a stranger's opinion, but that kind of thing doesn't bother him. You're more sensitive than he is though. (unbothered king)
-He assures you it isn't true and is extra sweet for a while to make you feel better. He also goes on your phone later and deletes any comments that aren't compliments (even if it takes him a while to figure out how bc he's an old man with technology 💀)
Scale:
-Scale isn't huge on social media either, but he makes accounts so he can like your posts and so you can send him things.
-Honestly if he didn't have the whole 'assassin secret identity' thing going on, he'd probably post stuff about his workout routine. He's fine just sending those videos to you, though ;)
-He likes to go to your insta and look at your pictures when he's having a rough day with training, just as a little pick-me-up.
-Though, today he notices a comment under your most recent post.
-Immediately confused. ("Huh?")
-Refreshing the page constantly, as if expecting it to be a mistake. ("Who?")
-You? Ugly??? ("What?????")
-Genuinely dumbfounded. He's never heard something so ridiculous in his life.
-You're equally confused a few hours later when you log on and see your boyfriend getting in an online slapfight with a random person under your post.
-It's very endearing that Scale is so willing to go to bat and defend you but you're gonna have to give him a lesson in online safety and teach him how to block people that make him angry and move on -_-
Cole:
-Cole is your number 1 fan he has all your accounts on notification. He is your first like on every post.
-He kind of hates that your pictures are online for anyone to see but he deals with it. He has his own collection of pictures to admire but he often refreshes your pages to see what you're up to.
-While you're out together one day you decide to take a quick photo and post it since you're feeling cute.
-It's not until a while later that Cole watches you check your phone, only for a sad look to pass over your features. He quickly investigates, and finds a bubbling anger rising in his chest when he finds that someone's insulted you.
-'I have to kill this guy right fucking now-'
-'No, no, calm down Cole. You need to keep your cool in front of Marshmallow.'
-'Wait a second, they look sad. I'm going to kill-'
-Cole does a few deep breathing exercises, gets his head on straight and repeatedly tells himself that he can't run off to track down an internet stranger while you're sad.
-"My darling, have I told you how wonderful you look today...?"
-He spends the next several hours spoiling and complimenting as much as you'll allow.
-After all, you need no one else but him.
#ozzy writing#i think i do my best work while tipsy#blush blush volks#blush blush game#blush blush cole#blush blush#blush blush scale#scale#cole#volks#i decided to interpret this as a comment cause when i first wrote these hcs they were too similar to the#stranger bothering you hcs i felt
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i rlly like your work, heartsteel needs more content tbh,, so ty!! ANYWAY,
i liked the general relationship/kiss hcs w kayn, would u be able to do that for the other two as well?? if that makes sense
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HEARTSTEEL YONE: RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS ♡ Gender Neutral ♡ SFW, with light touching/sensuality ♡ TW: Some alcohol usage/food mentions ♡ I've done Sett's kisses here (X) and relationship HCs here (X), and Yone's kisses here (X) ! (will I remember to come back and edit those links in??? only time will tell)
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YONE
No matter where you go, Yone brings you on fantastic dates. It's never popular tourist-trap type outings, either. If you ask how the hell he even found out about your date locations, he smiles coyly and says he can't reveal his sources. Regardless, expect lots of breathtaking, original dates—hidden trails that spill into breathtaking clumps of wildflowers, a hole-in-the-wall burger joint with the best fries you've had in tour entire life, tiny sculpture parks with some truly absurd statues (he absolutely refuses to delete the unflattering pic of you squatting next to a caked-up stone Sasquatch).
He isn't on his phone often, so don't be surprised if Yone doesn't text you back quickly or is overly-formal with his messages. Wild horses couldn't drag a silly emoji or a meme out of him. If you're lucky, you'll get a red heart, but that's about it. He tries not to make you feel neglected just because he's a dry texter, though. Especially when he's on tour, he calls you to check in whenever he's got a spare moment.
Yone's a chronic meal-skipper so he really appreciates if you share your food with him. Be warned, though, if you force him to step away from work and sit down for dinner you're either getting five minutes and a cup of instant ramen, or he's cooking you a three course meal complete with different appetizer, entree, and dessert wines. There's no in-between.
While Yone's not a fan of PDA, he holds your hand through every big event you're forced to attend. He doesn't appreciate the attention and flashing lights, but your warm, reassuring grip keeps him calm and relatively content.
Matching outfits are a little bit too much, but Yone is all for wearing clothing that compliments yours. Think similar textures, colors, and cuts. If you're wearing athleisure, he'll throw on a pair of stylish sweatpants. You're rocking the all black fit, so is he (with a pop of color in his earrings, probably—if he's completely monochrome, Kayn accuses him of "stealing his look"). Though he thinks it's a little cringy to be exact matches, he's definitely down to coordinate.
Whenever Yone makes himself a coffee, he whips up a glass of your favorite beverage as well. Nothing is too complicated—if you want a latte, he can make any flavor, and he'll pour the foam into a heart shape on top. Boba? No problem, he's got tapioca pearls in your favorite flavor and large straws on hand, to boot. A mimosa? Okay, he might raise his eyebrow at that one and point out that it's like eleven A.M.—nevertheless, if it's a mimosa you want, then it's a mimosa you'll get. Part of this is because he loves you, of course, but also? He hates sharing his coffee and figures that you won't ask for a sip if you've got your own drink.
Yone absolutely melts when you take care of him. He's used to looking after everyone else's wants and needs, so it's a pleasant surprise when someone extends that same care and attention to him. Cook him his favorite meal or take care of his laundry when he's been extra busy, and he looks at you like you're the eight wonder of the world. "You didn't have to do that for me," he cups your face gently, sweeping an appreciative kiss over your forehead. "But I'm glad that you did."
Chivalry is not dead and Yone's the man giving it CPR. Count on him to be the perfect gentleman. He opens every door for you, takes your coat whenever you drop by his studio, and no, under no circumstances will he let you pull out your own chair.
Yone's pet-names are sweet and classic. Most often, he calls you 'my darling', but he'll occasionally pepper in a 'dearest' or 'lover' for variety.
One of Yone's favorite ways to spend a free evening with you is sneaking into underground music shows. The two of you will turn up to somebody's house where the living room has been cleared to throw together a makeshift stage, or an abandoned warehouse with people clustering together and swaying to synthetic beats blasting through mid-grade speakers. More often than not, the musicians aren't that good (but that's par for the course with these kind of shows). The atmosphere can't be beat, though. And, when you do stumble upon somebody's garage band that actually goes hard, it's always an exciting surprise. Yone always keeps cash on him in case somebody's selling merch. He snags two stickers, one for you to keep and one to paste on his guitar case. What better way to commemorate shitty bands and crowded house shows than with matching stickers?
If you tag along with him on tour or business trips, Yone's first mission is to scout out a good coffee shop. Of course he takes you along, and buys you whatever little treats catch your eye. Sweets, sandwiches, snacks—anything he notices you ogling behind the glass, he orders for you.
Even with his massively packed schedule Yone NEVER, EVER forgets an important date. Expect gifts on birthdays and anniversaries, and extra love and support on dates that might be difficult for you.
Since Sett's a master crocheter, Yone pays him a frankly absurd amount to make you a plushie that looks like his fox mask. Yone knows that it can't be easy for you, with him away touring or on business so much of the time. The stuffed snuggle-buddy, he hopes, can ease your loneliness when he's away. Before he sets off on a long trip he makes sure to spritz your stuffie with his cologne, so that you can squish it in your sleep and dream that he's right there with you.
Yone's not a huge cuddler. Too much physical attention can make him feel smothered. The exception is when you sit on his lap. He loves when you settle onto him while he's working. As long as you're quiet and still (he doesn't want you to disturb his flow, after all), he basks in your comfortable warmth and the adorable way you tuck yourself into his chest.
#heartsteel#heartsteel headcanons#heartsteel x reader#heartsteel yone#heartsteel yone x reader#yone/reader#yone x reader#yone lol#yone league of legends
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i have a genuine question. i promise i am not at all trying to defend him. ive dropped him entirely, literally deleted everything i had of him and unliked his songs.
ive just been wondering like considering that he has been in therapy, and also considering how if he does take a year off and then comes back, why cant it be redeemable? like cant people change? cant we give them second chances? he is 27. is he just doomed to be an abuser forever?
its just scary and im asking as like a younger person who is in my very early 20s. i know ive made mistakes. i know ive not been a good partner or friend sometimes. (and yes i was also abusive to a past partner...im not proud of it and ive learned from it. i have never ever touched anyone in that way after that. it took awhile but my current relationship isnt toxic and i would never hurt anyone or hit them again yknow?) and it scares me that people keep insinuating that he is irredeemable. like cant abusers change and become better? dont they get second chances? if shelby has grown and healed in 10 months wouldn't it be fair to say the same for wilbur?
im just genuinely asking because based on everything i believe you are older than me and im looking for guidance and just...idk im scared. growing up on the internet has made me so scared of making mistakes and doing anything wrong because when it happens to others i look up to, its always treated as something they'll never be able to change or improve. makes me feel like imma just be a horrible person forever because i made mistakes in the past.
This is a really complicated question that multiple answers can validly fit.
I don't think, personally, that anyone is irredeemable. I think everyone is on a journey of forgiveness and some of us may need more grace than others.
This is tw// abuse even more than the current topic, but my mom was incredibly abusive. We lived in a very rural area and she had a lot of undiagnosed problems and trauma of her own that created a pressure pot of issues. After I was born, she suffered through full on post-partum psychosis that nearly ended about as well as that sentence implies it could have. She was incredibly violent, controlling, and cruel for years. My sister went no-contact with her the second she turned 18. A significant event occurred that eventually spurned her into seeking real treatment that lasted for years. It's still ongoing.
My sister is also still no contact and I support her decision 100%. Those are her wounds and what she needed to do to get peace should be respected. I decided I wanted a relationship with the person who came out of all that work and, even then, it's been hard. I don't know if she's redeemed herself, and my god do we still have bumps in the road, but I support her for trying.
With Wilbur, how he responds to this is going to really impact a lot of things. I mean, I know no matter how he responds I won't be going on whatever journey of redemption and healing he has to go through. I'm tired and I feel hurt enough. I would think, if he wanted to show he was sincere, admitting what happened would be a great sense of closure for a lot of people who put time and energy and faith into this guy for years.
Not every person that causes harm is inherently evil, but there has to be some kind of knowledge that you're aware of the harm you've caused. No one is stuck as anything forever, life is constantly moving, and most people aren't saying his life is just over. You can work on yourself. You can change. And I'm saying that specifically to you, anonymous.
(Saying this, actually, there ARE people who would argue once you've done x you're beyond redemption based entirely on their life experiences as a victim, personal histories and many other factors. Kinda like my sister, that's their choice. And you have to accept that sometimes you fuck up so badly that you will permanently lose some people from your life. But your life isn't over.)
But I do think, regardless of what he says or does about this, his time of controlling a large platform is at an end. He can still do a lot of things in his life after he works on himself -- editing, song producing, directing, writing or whatever -- but being in charge of a large impressionable audience that could enable more destructive behaviors is just not it.
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haunted
emily, one of your close friends in the bau, comes back and after months of crying over her death you're not sure how to feel. it hurts the most when the deception also comes from aaron, the man you've loved for so long
a/n: idk how i feel about it. it's very rushed because half of it was deleted and i couldn't be bothered to go back and rewrite it properly.
aaron hottie angst again because his pain is so beautifully upsetting. kinda long so enjoy 🤍
part 2 :)
"everybody, have a seat" aaron's voice is more tense than usual, as if he was about to announce some bad news. your heart races but you walked in, grabbing a seat next to morgan. jj stands beside hotch and she looks almost worried, toying with her fingers. your brows knitted in confusion, wondering what was so urgent
"why, what's going on? everything all right?" spencer asked, his brow raised.
"seven months ago, i made a decision that affected this team. as you all know, emily had lost a lot of blood after her fight with doyle," hotch began
"but the doctors were able to stabilize her and she was airlifted from boston to bethesda under covert exfiltration. her identity was strictly need-to-know. and she stayed there until she was well enough to travel. she was reassigned to paris where she was given several identities, none of which we had access to for her security" he finishes but there's pin drop silence in return. his arms had folded over awaiting a response but everyone was shocked to say a thing
your heart feels like it's plummeted at the bottom of the earth, the breath completely knocked out from your lungs. you hope someone announces its a big joke but hotch looks at all of you expectantly. jj has her head slightly bowed, unable to make any eye contact and its then you realise she knew all along.
"she's alive?" you didn't even think you said it out loud but aaron looks at you, his brows in a tight frown. you see the truth spilled on his face and it stings immensely knowing how he saw you in your vulnerable moments and still decided not to say a thing
he knew all along
"but we buried her" someone else says but at that point you completely blank out, sinking further in your seat. hoping the ground would swallow you whole and remove the burden crushing your heart.
"as i said, i take full responsibility for the decision. if anyone has any issues, they should be directed toward me" aaron looks at you again but you don't bother looking in his direction.
all those times, every single tear, every second of sadness, all of it was.... fake?
"any issues?? yeah, i got issues-" morgan started, standing up towards hotch. but he doesn't go far for garcia speaks again. her eyes are brimmed with tears, walking quickly towards the door
"oh, my god" and you turn, unable to register the vision in front of you
"i am so sorry, i really am. not a day went by that i didn't want to...really, i... you didn't deserve that and i'm so sorry" the voice you thought you'd never hear again in this lifetime spoke. there she genuinely was, in the living breathing flesh. garcia grabs her in a hug and they share a tearful laugh about something you can't hear.
"there is so much i want to tell you guys and-and i will, i promise" the woman you spent crying in private about for weeks was now alive, like nothing had even happened.
garcia embraces her tight again and jj, morgan, rossi and reid followed suit.
it doesn't comprehend there she genuinely was, actually physically standing there. so many emotions had run through you, unclear of which one it was. all you can think about was her in your arms actively dying and you crying as you screamed for medics to come.
so you remained silent, while everyone had hugged her you stood just looking. unsure of what to feel, unsure over how to act. it felt foreign and you get lost in the reality of the situation, not realising she had made her way towards you
"y/n..." emily walked closer a smile on her lips but you couldn't reciprocate it. how could she so... nonchalanant about everything? those nights you spent crying, the nights your heart had felt so hollow in your chest, all of that burned in your mind.
the anguish, the pain, the guilt, all of it was an illusion.
and aaron, the man with whom you had trusted with your whole life glanced at you through the corner. he doesn't know what to say, what could be said? unintentionally he had lied to you, comforted you through pain that didn't even exist. he saw you vulnerable after her death, he was the one that pieced you back. and now it felt like all the parts he held together were coming undone.
"emily" you nod, a tight lipped smile on yours. even just being in her presence is enough to tip you over the edge so you distract yourself, holding the file. how strange, a mere seven months ago you two were the closest of friends.
and now you barely even knew her
"i-" she opens her arms slightly to embrace you but you open your hands to give her the information. touching her felt too soon, you needed some time to think.
"this is the file with doyle and everything going on with the kid. we don't have time to spare" you nod, quickly hand it to her and walk straight for the coffee. it wasn't caffeine that was going to help you tonight but it didn't hurt to try
���••
"hey..." morgan finds you staring blankly at the wall with the pictures, trying to find the next step in the kidnapping. and no matter how much you tried to regain your composure, it cracked piece by piece. exposing your facade and your true feelings behind the matter.
you were determined to keep a straight front for your team but every time you saw emily and jj and especially hotch, it felt like a challenge you weren't sure you'd win
"hey" you continue to take through the information, trying to piece the murder but there's so much on your mind it all feels like its vanishing in the air. like nothing is registering in your brain.
"hey" jj comes in and you stiffen up, quickly catching some files and exiting the room. she calls your name but you simply walk straight for the hallway. true, it was a childish thing to do but you couldn't look at any of them without the overwhelming urge to break down.
aaron, however, catches you in the hallway and you step back not wanting to even touch him, unable to look at his deceiting face.
"i know what you've been through. i understand that you're angry but i hope that you understand that this is not about you or me. this was about saving emily" his tone is sharp, firm but you see the hurricane of emotions in his eyes.
the most dominant being sorrow. but that wasn't enough for you, you almost wanted him to experience the pain you'd felt.
"why do you care about what i think hotch? it never mattered before, evidently" you match his tone in return, trying to go about him.
"y/n i know you're disappointed how we handled emily but it wasn't in our control, we couldn't say anything" he stops you and you don't even want to look at him, he knew how hard it had been on you. and he still didn't breathe a word of her survival.
"you couldn't or you wouldn't?? don't pretend to care what i've been through hotch. i came to you crying for weeks on end and not once did you have the decency to tell me the truth. not fucking once. what did you expect? i'd hug prentiss and all would be well? give me a break" you scoffed, pulling away from him. he stood stunned for a moment, his brows scrunched in a confused frown
"i know and i understand-" "i don't think you do. we have a kid that's about to die hotch, now is not the time" you utter, glaring as you walked by him.
•••
the plane ride was silent, moreso than usual. you noticed the glances your team was giving you but as long as the job was done efficiently, there wasn't really anything to say, you'd talk on your own time. just you and your book was enough for now.
all that was interrupted when a voice cut in. a voice you thought you weren't ready to hear just yet
"declan is little shaken up but the doctor said he'll be fine" she smiled at you, eyes looking at you but you refused to make any contact
"good. we got there in time" you commented, turning the page.
"yes..." she taps her fingers on the table, unsure on how to continue the conversation. part of you hopes she walks away, not ready to listen to her just yet.
"well we're going to rossi's tomorrow night. i want to see if he really can cook. are you coming?" she asked hopefully, a small smile on her lips
"i don't know, i'm not so sure i can make it" you leaned your elbow on the armrest, continuing to read the same sentence until she left.
"look, l/n, i know you're mad at us because we didn't tell you what really happened, and... i understand that. but i promise you, we had no choice" she begins and she sighs a little before looking directly at you.
"you mourned one friend, i mourned seven" she chuckled lightly, trying to make you see from her perspective. but you couldn't, the betrayal rang far too loudly in your ears.
his especially
"it's not a competition emily" you put your book down, directly looking at her eyes. everything you had been bursting to say left your lips before you could even comprehend it.
"you didn't carry my coffin, you didn't cry over someone that was presumably dead. do you know how many times i was angry at myself for not doing more? i kept replaying that moment when i held you, near enough lifeless and completely covered in blood. and all i could do was beg you to breathe and stay with me. you didn't take medications because every time you closed your damn eyes, all you could see was your dead friend in her own blood did you? don't pretend we're the same emily, you have no idea what i went through" with every word, you could feel the anger boiling deep inside of you. the annoyance coursing through your veins like wildfire.
"you could've given us a hint, a sign, anything to indicate proof of life. but i had to hold the pain over your death for months. so forgive me if i don't want to go through that again" your tone was sharp, picking up your book back to indicate the conversation was over
"y/n i'm sorry i-" she began softly but you shook your head
"look emily, i appreciate what you're trying to do. really. and i'm happy that you're back but i need time and space too. i can't do this job efficiently otherwise. so please..." you indicated for her to leave and she reluctantly stood up, wanting to say a million words. but none of them seemed quite correct
you hoped no one would come and try to talk, just wishing this plane ride would end quickly and you'd be in the safe sanctuary of your bedroom
and for once your wish is granted
•••
the precinct was empty, dark and cold. replicating how you felt on the inside.
your bag was in your office and you hoped everyone was gone, you couldn't handle seeing their faces.
it was hard, because on the one hand your friend was back. you wanted to rejoice, and hug her so tight but the way it all happened... it felt wrong.
"y/n" and there it is. the voice you definitely didn't want to hear tonight
"aaron" you reply in response, turning around to face him. he looks dishevelled, almost as if he had to run to catch you back here. on any other day before, it would've made you fawn over his adorableness but it didn't stir a thing in you now.
"i know what i did was inexcusable. i know you're hurt, i know it could've been handled better. i realise that but you have to understand that this wasn't my order. if you had known, it would've put you in a compromising position too" he comes close until he's standing a foot away. his eyes are aligt with an emotion you've never seen him use before, pleading
"i just can't get over it hotch. i'm so happy she's back and under different circumstances i would've celebrated it. but i can't because you lied to me. for months and months" you want to fall in to his arms, to forget about everything that had transpired tonight but it would solve nothing. so you stay where you are, the ache in your heart growing by the minute.
"and for that i deeply apologise" before, this would have solved your problems. but now it felt like the gasoline added to the fire.
"you don't care about me aaron and i'm fooling myself if i keep pretending that everything is okay"
"i do y/n, i just need time. i just-"
"how much time?? how much longer can i be expected to wait?? how much longer can i pretend that you actually care about me-"
"i do care!" "oh you do?? you watched me cry for months. does that sound like caring? and you never want to progress further in this. how can i be with someone who doesn't care? emily coming back was just the icing. you'd use anything and anyone to get what you want hotch. you don't care about anyone, much less me"
"is that what you think of me?" he whispers, eyes narrowing at you
"it's what i know of you. from the moment i met you to now. i thought it was fine at first. but i can't do it. do you have any idea how.... hard it is to love you?" every word was a dagger to his heart, twisting and twisting until it was difficult to breathe.
"i'm done. i need a break. from you, from the bau, from everyone" you let out a shaky sigh, hugging your bag closer to your body. the man before you was your lifeline and now it felt like you were drowning in the depths of him. the only way to save yourself would be to remove yourself from his grasp, to pretend that he, your lover, never existed. he was aaron hotchner, your boss. he would never be the man you were so desperately and hopelessly in love with.
"y/n please don't-"
"i'm taking my holidays. don't contact me, don't find me. i just really.... don't want to see you ever" with that you stormed out of the room, away from him and his presence. away from his beautiful face you came to adore, away from all the memories you would forever cherish until your last breath.
but no amount of miles between you both could ever be enough
#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner x reader fanfiction#aaron hotchner x reader angst#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotch x reader#aaron hotch fic#aaron hotch fanfiction
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https://www.tumblr.com/peachhcs/768160196490117120/need-to-know-if-sammy-ever-finds-out-about-what
lowkey want sammy to go off and kevin and break up with him and make sure he deletes the video
part 4! keep in mind that in the other wonder years fics + the fics before will and samy get together that samy genuinely doesn’t know how she feel and doesn’t really figure it out until her and will go to her senior prom together — just to clear up if there’s any confusion about that!
i also totally made this way too long at 2.3k words OOPS but enjoy!! lowkey also gave kevin a small redemption arc bc it just kind of came out as i was writing lmao
au masterlist | previous part
the things will told samy replayed in her mind on a loop like a broken record. she tossed and turned all night thinking about how kevin literally punched one of her best friends all because will tried standing up for her when kevin's friends started saying shitty things. she had an idea of what was being said because she's heard it a few times before in passing and rumors circulating around the school. usually, those things would just roll off her back, mainly because her brothers taught her to not let that type of thing mess with you too much.
and that's what samy did. she always thought tyler was a gross person anyway because of how he was always trying to hook up with a new girl each weekend. the thing that was bugging samy the most was kevin and will getting into a fight over her. their relationship had been a bit tense the past month. kevin kept saying things and samy kept trying to ignore him and denying all of it, but now she wasn't so sure anymore after finding out him and will fought about the one thing that's been making her and kevin's relationship so strained.
"bye guys!" samy exclaimed as she walked the guys out. all of them plus marcie and kevin just finished their semi-bi-weekly friday moving night. it was kevin's first time being invited after him and samy had been talking for awhile. she was excited for him to start bonding with the people she was so close with.
once everyone was out of sight, samy trailed back into the living room where kevin was. the boy smiled a bit, opening his arm up as samy sat back down next to him. the warmth of the blankets returned after standing in the doorway for so long.
"so, what did you think?" she asked nervous but excitedly.
"they were cool," kevin nodded.
"i think they liked you, too. hopefully we can all hang out again soon, or you can come with me to some of their games," the youngest hughes grinned as she squeezed kevin's arm a bit tighter.
"yeah, for sure. you know, i had no idea you and will grew up together," the boy hummed, his tone a bit too light to pick up on any envy yet.
"oh, yeah. we go way back. i've known will since we were babies. he's one of my best friends now," samy grinned and she missed the way kevin's jaw clenched listening to her say that.
"yeah, you two are really close," this time the envy did slip out through his tone. samy caught wind of it and snapped her gaze in his direction.
"what? are you jealous or something?" she laughed a bit, tugging on his arm and still trying to find amusement in it.
"should i be?" his green eyes pierced into her skin and samy slowly understood he was being serious. she dropped his arm.
"no? we've been best friends our whole lives. i've never even seen him that way," the soccer player couldn't even begin to think of will as something other than a friend and she was confused on where this idea was coming from.
"you better tell him and everyone else that," kevin muttered.
"oh, come on, kev. our friends have been teasing us about this since they met us. it's just a joke. we've never even done anything. he's like a brother to me," samy continued laughing in hopes to ease up some of the tension building. although, she did fail to mention how her and will kissed in her bathroom back in april and how something in her hadn't been the same since.
"i'm just saying, hughes. guys can tell and guys can feel when there's other feelings going on," with that, kevin looked at his phone and stood up. "i gotta get going anyway. mom wants me back home."
samy didn't have anything else to say. the thoughts in her mind were confusing her along with her and will's kiss from april and then again at the beginning of the school year. those were all just for fun though, right? she made it clear she was joking and will did too. it wasn't even serious.
"see you later," kevin mumbled before leaving out of the same door everyone else left from ten minutes ago.
since then, samy and kevin kept getting in little tiffs about what was going on between her and will. something would happen that would set the brunette off and he'd bring it up after the fact. samy would just deny it all and tell him he was overthinking it—because it was true. right? there was nothing going on between her and will.
there never would be.
but then there was homecoming. the night samy and kevin went public with their new relationship and the night samy started wondering if things really were changing.
she kept noticing the way will took every chance he got to look at her. his eyes were quite literally glued to her and it sent a funny, but good feeling through samy's chest. she kind of liked the way he was looking at her. and then when the guys jumped in for a few photos, she felt the tight grip will had on her waist and how close he was to her and she also saw the way kevin looked like he wanted to snap will's head off from where he stood off to the side.
and that's when samy started wondering if there was something more there and maybe kevin was right.
but he couldn't be. she didn't like will. he didn't like her. they were friends. nothing more, nothing less.
ryan mentioned something to her that night after she got back. they didn't really talk about it, but he hinted something and she understood what he was trying to say. still though, samy chose to firmly believe that there was nothing going on between her and will.
the youngest hughes was at kevin's house the next day. she knocked a good three times on his front door and then crossed her arms waiting for him to come out. there were heavy footsteps before the door swung open. kevin paused in the entryway, surprised to see samy on his porch.
"oh, hey. i didn't know you were coming over," he smiled a bit, but his smile disappeared when she didn't reciprocate it.
"we need to talk."
kevin glanced around like there were other people around, but when he only saw samy, he slowly shut his door and stepped onto the porch with her.
"okay," the two sat down on the bench his mom had outside. samy knew kevin probably had an idea about what she was gonna say, so she decided to just rip the bandaid off and stop beating around the bush.
"i know you punched will the other night at the game," she began.
the boy's eyes narrowed and then he jumped up like he was gonna take another swing, "did he tell you that? i'm gonna fucking—"
samy grabbed his arm to bring him back to reality, "i was gonna find out sooner or later, kevin. you really thought hiding that from me was gonna work?" she sneered.
"who the fuck told you?" he snapped back.
"why does it even matter who told me? why the fuck did you punch him? if you didn't want him standing up for me, you should've done it first," the girl snapped right back at him. kevin's face twisted.
"well in case you wanted to know, he did confirm he liked you because he'd fuck you too if he had the chance," the brunette grumbled and hearing that made samy's insides twist but not in a bad way.
"so what? that gave you the excuse to punch him?"
"it confirmed what i've known all along and what you've kept denying since we got together," the boy pulled his arm away.
"you could've seriously hurt him, kevin. i don't care how you feel, you don't fucking punch someone because they aren't making you happy. would you punch me?" the soccer player stood up so they were face to face.
"he punched me back just so you know. he actually tackled me to the ground if that makes any difference."
"why are you so obsessed with this? why not just break up with me if you think i like him?" they were going in circles at this point.
"because i wanna keep thinking that i'm wrong and there's nothing between you two. i wanna believe you like me. you keep fucking denying it so i'm choosing to believe you, but every time i'm around you guys i'm told otherwise. why can't you just fucking admit it to yourself, samy? why can't you admit to me that you like him?" now kevin was just pleading for some honesty and as much as samy was supposed to hate him right now, his words stung.
"because i don't like him! i've never liked him!" she yelled at him.
"there it is again. you're lying. i know you're lying. i can see it in your eyes. your tell is that you get defensive when you're lying," kevin pointed his finger right in her face which she pushed away.
"well maybe it's because he's my best friend and has been my best friend since we were kids and i'm just so terrified to lose that! and maybe i just kept making myself belief he didn't like me because then it would save all of us so much hurt in the long run because dating your best friend always goes bad. have you ever liked someone that's so close to you that it just scares you more than anything because you don't wanna do anything that will put you into a position to lose them? i like you, kevin. that was never fake. i think it just..i just tried pushing away other feelings too in the process and it didn't end well," everything all just spilled out and samy dropped back down to the bench while hiding her face in her hands.
a beat of silence passed between the two before kevin sunk back onto the bench next to her. he hesitated for a second, wondering if it would be the right movie, but ultimately placing his hand on her back.
"shit, i'm sorry. i-i didn't mean to.."
"no, i'm sorry. i shouldn't have snapped. i shouldn't have punched will. i shouldn't have done a lot of things," kevin shook his head. "if the feelings were really real, then hurting one another wouldn't be a question. i know it's scary, but i don't think you guys would put one another into a position to lose the other."
"i don't even really know how i feel, but all i know is that i don't wanna lose will just because of some stupid feelings. i also don't wanna lose you either, but i just don't think we work in a relationship. i think i just need to be by myself before i even think about a serious relationship," she met the boy's gaze. it was sad, but he slowly nodded.
"i get it, really. friend then?" the boy wondered and samy nodded. she hugged his side.
"just a few things. don't punch my friends ever again, okay? and can you please delete that video?"
"yes and yes. i promise i won't. i'm sorry i did," kevin sighed as he pulled his phone out so samy could watch him delete the video.
"i'm not the one who needs to hear that apology," she watched as he found it in his camera roll and pressed delete and then went to recently deleted to permanently delete.
"yeah, i know. i doubt will would wanna hear me out though," kevin and samy exchanged a glance.
"if i talk to him, do you promise to apologize to him?" the girl asked and kevin nodded.
—
kevin caught will a few days later at a community soccer game samy was playing in with her club team. the blonde caught kevin coming towards them, his face twisting a bit but the brunette raised his arms as a surrender.
"i'm not here to punch you again if that's what you're wondering," the brunette mumbled.
"if you're here to start anything you better turn back around right now," ryan cut in because he did not want to deal with another fight.
"i'm not, i swear. i was hoping will and i could talk?" kevin looked over at the blonde who stared at him for a good five seconds before slowly nodding.
"yeah, sure," will said and the two walked a bit out of earshot.
"first, i wanna say i'm sorry for punching you. it was uncalled for and i shouldn't have done that, so i'm sorry. second, the video is completely gone, so you don't have to worry about that anymore," kevin explained and apologized.
"i guess i shouldn't have punched back either," will nodded.
"can we just call it even? samy and i aren't together anymore so you don't have to worry about that anymore," the brunette stared at their shoes.
"i'm sorry you guys broke up," the hockey player rocked on his heels and kevin just shrugged.
"it's whatever. we're still friends and it's not weird or anything. we're good though?" kevin held his hand out as a truce. will stared at it before shaking it and the boys patted one another's backs.
"sorry again, will. thanks for talking," the blonde nodded and the two finally parted ways. will went back over to ryan and gabe who were curiously listening in.
"what was that about? gabe wondered.
"just..apologizing for real. i guess him and samy really did breakup," will explained and he watched his friends' gazes widen in surprise.
"oh shit. i didn't think she was actually serious," ryan mumbled.
"yeah, i guess. at least we don't have to deal with him anymore," the blonde shrugged a bit.
they were right though. kevin wasn't an issue for the rest of the year which meant samy and will were left to figure out what really was going on between them and how long samy could keep denying the feelings she had anytime her best friend was around.
#will smith hockey#hughes!sister x will smith au#samy x will#samy hughes#will smith x oc#will smith imagine#boston college hockey#uofmichigan#boston college#umich hockey#will smith hockey angst#will smith hockey fluff#wsh2#ws6#umich#umich blurb#umich imagine#umich fic#umich soccer#umich wolverines#san jose sharks#sjs#sj sharks#usntdp#ice hockey#bc eagles#boston college hockey blurb#boston college hockey imagine#bostoon college imagine#boston college imagine
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Sorry, not-so-amicable-exes anon here again just cause I saw your big toxic fh breakdown post again cause a friend wanted to read it and we were tlking about it- unimportant, sorry, we just had a thought. Because I've seen some anti-toxic shippers act like this interpretation is out of spite or some intentional thing shippers of other jimmy ships made up (specifically ranchers usually), but the timeline and accusation is all wrong. Like I don't remember ever seeing anyone even talk about this interpretation until post-liml? And it was very hesitantly and apologetically. There was a fic or two before this but most people even the people who enjoyed it expressed discomfort or concern at its existence and that's how most people react to them even to this day.
But I remember when I saw that first post I was like, "Oh thank god, someone else also thought that!" It felt like before that there was scenes in their POV that only happened when I watched 3l because no one talked about them, or wrote them very differently to what happened. And I saw some other people saying the same thing. I think the post even got deleted a few days later, too. It seemed to me like a lot of people had quietly independantly come up with the interpretation as far back as 3l itself, but stayed quiet until recently to avoid upsetting anyone or we all thought we were the only ones who saw it that way. I know I tend to hesitate to write characters negatively because it feels a bit wrong to do that when the ccs are friends, even if I think it would be interesting. I wonder how many people feel that way also?
But I guess what I mean to say is it seems to me that a lot of people independantly have been thinking it since 3l or ll and the only reason it started popping up in dl is because it was the next big Jimmy ship from the big shipping season, and people werent really willing to even talk about it for a whole other season because they were scared of being seen as negative.
But!! I just really think it's neat, I really like this narrative for Scott and Jimmy. It's rare to be able to get stories where people have problems and break up and move on to new relationships and grow from them. It makes sense because they're the first season couple and they've grown further and further apart as seasons go on.
Even people I see who don't like fh don't seem to WANT to talk about it, they only bring it up when asked, and try to be respectful. Maybe I've not seen something happening somewhere else? I just wish I didn't have to spend most of my energy when writing quadruple checking that I'm not making Scott a bad guy and emphasising Jimmy's faults just so people reading know for certain I'm writing it this way because I'm legitimately interested in exploring this interpretation of them, and I'm not one of "those" writers. But I'm starting to wonder how many of "those" writers there actually are. (At the risk of comparing petty fandom drama to a serious topic, but it feels a lot like I'm back on 2016 tumblr assuring people I'm not one of "those" enbies or "those" aces, trying not to get pushed out.)
I'm guessing anyone who doesn't care for toxic fh probably already has you blocked, but if there is anyone like that who does see this: Hi! I also love flower husbands a lot! They just aren't my fluffy comfort ship, I like headcanoning them as divorced and imperfect because I think it makes them more interesting to write. I love being able to write characters who don't find the love of their life immediately but each relationship still shapes them into a new person. Sometimes I like to imagine their relationship as more mild and silly, and sometimes more dramatic and intense, I'm not a one-headcanon person! But their divorce is what really inspired me about them so I like writing about it. I don't want to stop anyone from enjoying them how they enjoy them and have no interest in making people who would be upset by my content to read it, so I try to tag it correctly! I'd like to be able to write my stories without walking on eggshells wondering if someone thinks I only wrote something I worked really hard on and cared a lot about just to spite them or because I'm secretly homophobic while writing about men kissing, just because my interpretation is different. It makes me scared to put Scott in my fics at all and contributed to my writers block for fics with them in it. I think Scott gets treated unfairly by certain people too, but that's not what I'm trying to do, I wouldn't write about him if I did!
(Also sorry if my paragraphs are strange, I'm not used to writing on mobile or pouring my thoughts out.)
Hi hello welcome back!! Please don't apologize I love long asks, especially long asks about scott smahor. The fact that you pulled up that toxic fh post and read it with a friend is so funny to me. Looking back, I wish I'd planned it out better and wrote it more eloquently, but I'm glad it brings people some sense of joy/entertainment/understanding. I hope you and your friend enjoyed it, even in an ironic sense.
It's endlessly entertaining (and fascinating) to me personally how every toxic fh believer seems to undergo the same-ish pipeline of watching the fh pov and being horrified --> looking at fanon fh and disengaging out of fear --> finding other toxic fh posters in the wild and suddenly realising you're not insane after all. I know I personally went into scott's pov expecting wholesomeness and ended up wide-eyed at what I saw before proceeding to slink FH into the back of my mind for awhile.
People tend to believe others operate like they do and I think that's where a lot of the discourse originates. Most of the louder voices I've seen that are very against the toxic interpretation are from people who primarily engage in bending the characters to fit specific concepts i.e. the "toxic jimmy" brainstorm that happened awhile back on here where interpretation is less a study and more confirmation bias-ing your way into making an idea work. Which I must reiterate is completely awesome because we're making fanfics here not nukes. But this leads people to assume that everyone who writes about toxic fh is going in with the mindset of "how do i interpret these moments so that scott is an abuser" and not "wow that thing i just watched sure kind of felt like domestic abuse"
Which like. YEAH, if there was a theoretical group of people who went out of their way to interpret everything scott did ever as evil and irredeemable, I too would assume that they had it out for the guy. But that's not what's happening, usually, afaik (at least on here, twitter's situation is a bit different due to the culture and would be its own beast for me to dissect and I honestly don't spend enough time on there to really feel confident making any statement).
For the record, I think a lot of people are on the same boat regarding FH being toxic and just simply don't care enough to voice/explore it, don't want to deal with the fandom nonsense that comes with it or would simply rather shift focus onto other pairs with similar themes. i.e. there is something going on with the toxic fh believer/ethubs shipper overlap I just know there is if anyone would like to do science with me it'd be awesome.
I know that I definitely focused my sights more on Scott and Pearl's relationship following my "wow that was sure something" watchthrough of scott's series, which is ironic considering I now base alot of my thoughts about their dynamic on scott's previous relationship with jimmy.
I think there's like. Something about the DL Pearl fans and the ranchers fans specifically who tended to communicate in code re: Scott's toxicity because for a long time all of us were afraid of saying it outright. So you get a lot of posts where Scott is like. A vaguely unpleasant force in the narrative while not really being a main focus himself, which I think may have contributed to the "ranchers fans only view scott as the villainous ex to push their ship harder" argument that I've seen a lot.
Once I realised from that one Shepscapades comic that there were others who saw the same plot I did, I would go out fishing for signs of agreement/acknowledgement. Hybbat if you're reading this, take this as my apology for sending you anon asks back in the day essentially trying to bait you into posting more FH slander, there was something deeply wrong with me (there still is, I'm just more upfront about it now I think).
There's also just this very like.. us vs them mentality very apparent in the way people talk about The Discourse that kinda sucks. Weirdly enough it's kind of shifted from toxic fh vs healthy fh to fh vs ranchers (or any other jimmy ship for that matter) nowadays. I can't talk on 2016 tumblr but regarding your last point (which I know isn't directed towards me but I think it's worth saying) -- would it matter if you Were one of THOSE fh writers? (or one of THOSE aces or THOSE enbies for that matter). You're not but like. Would it?
(side note rhetorical question do not answer i dont want to know but wtf did the aces/enbies even do lmao)
Not to get too away from the discourse cus I do my fair share of glazing on this blog already, but yes yes yes big agree on fh's storyline being amazing!! I love that we essentially watch them both have to live on after their mutually life-changing marriage.
Scott especially I love because in a lot of stories that feature an abuser they're painted as entirely evil and oftentimes disappear from the story once the relationship is over, but Scott doesn't and will never go anywhere. He's forced to grapple with his previous actions and the destructive way he thinks about himself and relationships has and continues to damage both himself and the people he loves. Just like how irl even when we wish abusers would just "go away" they will still continue being living people as they've always been, not a concept that will simply perish once you overcome the trauma. I love abusive characters who are fully written as human and think they're important. Is all.
#asks#discourse#long post#i was gonna say more about how i think both perpetrators and victims of abusive relationships (cont)#(cont) tend to seek out writing that humanizes abusers more since. the abusive ppl we know irl are people#and oftentimes ppl we loved and continue to love. whereas to outsiders it's a very black/white situation#there's also i think like. a wish fulfillment aspect of it. that you or they can get better and everything can be okay again#which is obviously not like. the most amazingly healthy fantasy wowie but it's a fantasy for a reason#i know i at least have entertained one million here's how scott can get better scenarios in my head. some of them worse than others
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Hello! I'm trying to write a very simple, easy to follow, not-overwhelming bullet point outline for a story I'm writing, but as I was outlining a bit of the set-up I was just like, "Oh god, this is SO boring." I was starting to wonder if it's just me (this is my first time actually trying to outline something, I've never made it past the brain dumps stage before) so maybe it's something I'm missing/lack of experience or if it's a sign that I'm lacking goals in my intro or if my characters are dry/not fleshed out enough? Like if I'm already bored, then readers will most likely be bored, too, right? Also, if it is a characters issue, how do you make readers care about your characters in the exposition of your story? I've read so many articles and posts about making your character relatable so readers like them/connect to them, but I just feel like I'm struggling to accomplish this in the introduction. Anyways, thanks for your time and help! Signed, Chronic Overthinker.
Struggling with Outlining Beginning of Story
Yes... if you're bored, the reader will be bored, too. However, that's not something you can really determine from an outline. You can be outlining the most engaging story in the world and still be bored, because outlines aren't the story... they're just the blueprint. And, not only that, but some writers are "discovery writers," meaning that the story fleshes itself as they actually write it. Outlines can still be helpful in that they give you a structure to aim for, but the really thrilling details that make the story engaging might be things that develop organically as you write. So, don't worry about that at this point. If you're bored as you're actually writing the story, that's another issue--and even then, a rough draft can be a little boring and have more excitement added in later.
As far as struggling with making readers care about your characters in the exposition part of the story, remember the goal is to do three things:
-- Show the character in their "normal world," including establishing who and what is most important to them, so the reader can understand what's at stake when the inciting incident turns their world upside down, and so they have a reference point for "right side up."
-- Establish the character's internal conflict. What is the problem inside their heart or mind that will need to be resolved in order for them to eventually resolve the external conflict brought on later by the inciting incident? Remember, they may not be fully aware of this problem--or they may be aware of the feeling/situation but not understand that it is a problem.
-- Establish important elements of the character's personality so that when the inciting incident occurs, the reader can understand why they respond the way they do.
Be sure to have a look at my Character Development master list of posts if you need additional help, and my Plot & Story Structure master list has posts about structure and outlining if those would help.
Happy writing!
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I remember reading a post from a while back you wrote about being an acerbic prickly person who at the same time was sensitive & would need to be with someone who could be gentle with you when you were like that and not be acerbic back. I think about it a lot because i feel i am that way too and it’s made me think more about my own issues in this area and also who is a good fit for me and i was wondering if you remember that post and know where it is. i often lately think about how grateful i am to have people who can be nice and gentle with me when i need it and realize i am not being prickly because i am mean or hate them but because of other complicated emotional things i probably don’t understand in the moment and i can say these days often , i know i am being prickly, you’re great, please be nice to me. anyway you might not remember but i couldn’t find the post so if you happen to know where it is i would like to read it again. if you don’t know what i am talking about you can delete this.
Anon, I looked for this and cannot find it. I vaguely remember the post, but I remember the sentiment 100%, because I am still very much this way.
Basically, I need to be around people who manage anger differently than I do. I get really angry and yell. If I'm annoyed or idk, tired, I snap. And I felt like maybe I only deserved people who yelled and snapped at me, because it's bad to yell and snap, and I think I'm bad for yelling and snapping, and I don't deserve better.
But it turns out, not everyone finds being yelled and snapped at the end of the world. It sucks, yes, but some people prefer it to other methods of dealing with anger: silent treatment, passive aggression, tears, gossip.
None of these behaviors are actually bad, or at least, they don't make you a bad person. If you need to be quiet because you're angry, that's fine. If you need to make some catty remarks instead of saying what you're angry about, that's fine. If you need to cry, that's fine. If you need to tell someone else your feelings before you tell your partner/friend, that's fine. And if you need to yell, it really can be okay for some people.
But none of these things are fine if that's all you do, if you never communicate about what upset you and work on fixing it. People talk about passive aggression like it's the worst thing in the world, but honestly it works better for me a lot of the time, because I can see that someone is upset; I can prepare for it; I can ask them what's up at a time that works for both of us. I don't get yelled at; horrible things aren't said. The only thing that's wrong with it is if they never tell me what the problem was--either because they lied when I asked, or I didn't ask because I didn't notice, and they just decided not to say anything.
I don't like yelling or snapping. I work really hard not to do it. But in the end, there's only so much about myself I can control. I've worked on my anger problems all my life; I can't decide I'm broken just because I can't change myself completely; I can't hate myself because I can't perfectly fix myself. What I can do is work as hard as possible, which involves trying to resolve anger in myself and trying not to hurt others with it, but also involves communicating clearly with those around me.
So, it's great to be able to say to others, "I know I'm being prickly right now." But I also take the time to a) try to understand why I'm being prickly, b) try to figure out what will make me not prickly. A lot of times I'm tired or stressed, and just time by myself, away from people, will help give me a calmer state of mind, preventing prickliness. But sometimes something about the person is bothering me, and I need to tell them, and instead of snapping at them, I need to have a clear and open conversation about it. But another step is c) acknowledging what might've been hurtful in my behavior, asking how the other person feels, explaining myself, and apologizing.
It does mean often making myself vulnerable, which can be a lot. But there are people whose world doesn't end when you snap at them, who have the understanding and empathy to see where you are coming from, and can forgive you. I'd just say that if you're never hearing about their feelings or dealing with their anger, there is probably some kind of problem there. I've been around people who I felt were just absorbing all of my anger and never talking about the way it made them feel or their own anger (despite my attempts to communicate), and imo, that's a toxic relationship. So, besides someone who expresses their anger in a different way, you also need a great communicator, and to work on communicating yourself, as much as possible.
Sounds like you're doing that, so I hope things work out for you <3
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