#also for those who do not know the sword dance trilogy IT IS SO GOOD

[shiftyarchfey]

I‘m in surgery recovery pain rn and super bored cause I can only lie in bed, I have new book fatigue and also phone too small for me to write comfortably (arms get tired). I think I shall read some old favorites again though.

[skinks]

hi!!! what are your favourite movies? like actually good ones but also any trashy comfort movies? is IT (2017) one of them?

Hello!! IT (2017) IS ABSOLUTELY ONE OF THEM oh man, thank you for this, I love talking about movies!!!! This is possibly the most difficult question you could have asked me. Apologies for how absolutely off the rails this got, I just... love movies so much lmao

I’ve said this before, but opening night of IT ch1 was the best cinema experience I’ve ever had, I’m so glad I got to see it with a fully packed audience who were all laughing and screaming together the whole way through. I’m a huge fan of... everything ch1 was doing, the 80s nostalgia, the summer-coming-of-age themes, the solid ghost train funhouse JOY of the Pennywise performance and scares, the washed-out cinematography, the tiny background details to make everything that much more eerie, the kids’ ACTING?!

Like, a lot of the time I find child actors can be really awkward and stilted to watch, but I remember leaving the cinema really impressed by JDG and Sophia Lillis in particular. I liked that they were all allowed to be little shitheads with potty mouths, it felt like a callback to 80s movies like The Lost Boys or Stand By Me. The whole thing worked to make me really care about what happened to the kids (even if I do still have issues with how they handled Mike. I understand even ch1 had limitations with juggling so many characters, but still). I saw it another 2 times in the cinema and have rewatched it at least, I dunno, 7-10 more times since then?

Add to all of that the retroactive CANON R+E baby pining subplot? I just love it, as if that wasn’t obvious by now given my Whole Blog. It’s a really special movie to me!

Anyway!! Ok, the main handful of movies I rewatch all the fucking time are:

Back to the Future, The Lost Boys, Pride and Prejudice (2005), Jaws, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club, Ocean’s 11, POTC 1, The Dark Knight, Inception, Die Hard, LOTR trilogy, Snatch, The Nice Guys, Logan Lucky, Mad Max Fury Road, Clueless, 10 Things I Hate About You, Billy Elliot, Dirty Dancing, Tomb Raider (2018)...

Those are the easily consumable ones that I’ve seen so many times I don’t really have to concentrate or think about them, but I really love them and unfortunately often KEEP rewatching them instead of new stuff. It would take too long to go into why I love all these movies so much because I could write the same amount as I already did for ITCH1, and everyone already knows why those movies are good, so, lol.

I think I’m gonna have to subdivide and categorise this whole post because there are too many separate criteria for... goOD MOVIES, AUUHH 😩

Okay so first off, HORROR MOVIES? I’m especially in love with Re-Animator (1985) and its sequel Bride of Re-Animator, they’re such good examples of camp and batshit 80s practical effects, and also EXTREMELY funny. I’m actually just gonna post my list of my fave horror movies that I do actually keep on my phone at all times lmao. These are in no particular order:

Wholeheartedly recommend every one of these. I’ve never been so scared in my life as I was watching Hereditary in the cinema, hoo boy. Mother! by Aronofsky is one of the strangest experiences I’ve ever had (and I actually saw it on the same day I saw IT ch1 for the first time!! That was a fun day)

Psycho (1960) and The Fly from 1986 should also be on there but I couldn’t fit them in the screenshot.

I’m a HUGE fan of a ton of martial arts movies too, like Kung Fu Hustle, Shaolin Soccer, Ip Man, The Raid movies, John Wick 3 is my fave of the trilogy, Drive from 1997 with Mark Dacascos is incredible, SPL 2, Ong-Bak, Operation Condor, Project A, Iron Monkey, and Zatoichi (2003) are some favourites.

My favourite Tarantino is Reservoir Dogs, fave Coen brothers are Raising Arizona, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs and O Brother Where Art Thou. Love some old-timey colour correction and weird offbeat dialogue. I also love Goodfellas!!! And Donnie Brasco! And The Firm, I’m so easy for any good crime/law/gangster/heist procedural like that, especially if they’re from the 80s or 90s in a super dated way.

Fave Disney movie is Tarzan, favourite Ghibli movies are Spirited Away and Lupin III. I remember watching Spirited Away during a thunderstorm one time and it being.... god! Transcendent! Favourite Pixar movie is The Incredibles (the first one. ALSO the documentary “The Pixar Story” is great and well worth a watch, it’s very comforting for some reason) and my favourite Dreamworks movies are HTTYD1 and Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron.

I tend to watch more anime movies than tv shows, so stuff like Akira, The Girl Who Leapt Through Time, Summer Wars, Journey to Agartha, and my ultimate fave anime is Sword of the Stranger (2008). The climactic fight in that movie is fucking stunning and should be counted in “bests fights” lists right alongside anything live action

Also if we’re talking animated movies another hearty favourite is Rango, and a Belgian stop-motion (which at one time I considered my favourite movie ever) called Panique Au Village (2009) which is one of the funniest movies ever made imo.

As for TRASHY movies, I’m not sure if that’s the right word for how I feel about these ones but.. dumb/silly/slightly guilty pleasure movies? Ones that I feel need some kind of justification lmfao

Troy - something u must know about me is that I’m a giant slut for the Assassin’s Creed franchise, so if a movie smashes historical and mythological nonsense together with fun costumes and sword fights, I’m gonna enjoy myself. Even if they should have made Achilles and Patroclus gay. Other movies in this vein are King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, and Immortals (2011)

Gods of Egypt - I know all the reasons this movie is whitewashed bullshit. But it was already bullshit with giant Anubis mecha and giant snakes and bad acting and ridiculous CGI and frankly I had a blast at the cinema (my friend who I forced to come with me did not have a blast. Sorry H***)

Avatar - yes, the one with the big blue people. This movie gets a lot of flack nowadays but I really do enjoy it just for the spectacle. The full CGI world technology was so new at the time and I love to wallow in the visuals and daydream about riding a cool dragon around in the jungle

George of the Jungle - I’ll defend this movie to the death ok this movie shaped me as a person, it is fucking hilarious and Brendan Fraser is the himbo to end all himbos. It’s perfect. The song Dela is perfect. I still want to write a reddie AU about it. It’s one of the best movies ever made and I’m not being ironic

Set It Up - I KNOW this is a dumb Netflix original romcom but consider this; it was funny and the leads had great chemistry. I got butterflies. I once watched it and then literally immediately set it back to the start so I could watch it again

The Brady Bunch Movie - when people talk about great satires or parodies you will see them bring up the same movies over and over again, Blazing Saddles, This Is Spinal Tap etc, but they never talk about The Brady Bunch Movie from 1995 for some reason, which they should. It is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen and every time i watch it somehow it gets funnier

Some more general favourites that I do still love but don’t rewatch as often, and don’t wanna go into more detail about are:

Moon (2009), Crna Mačka Beli Mačor, The Sixth Sense, Parasite, The Handmaiden, Tremors, Wet Hot American Summer, Tucker and Dale vs Evil, What We Do In The Shadows, Hunt For the Wilderpeople, The Secret of My Success (I love kitschy 80s movies, is that obvious by now), The Green Mile, When Harry Met Sally, Rear Window, The Odd Couple, Breaking Away, Pan’s Labyrinth, To Kill A Mockingbird, The Eagle, Gladiator, The Artist, The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec, Call Me By Your Name, Master and Commander, Pacific Rim, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Legend (1985), Emma. (2020), Flash Gordon, Trolljegeren, Hross í Oss, Beverly Hills Cop, Coming to America, WarGames, District 9, Ajeossi (2010), Tracks (2013), Sightseers, Mud (2012), Pitch Black, Four Lions, Shaun of the Dead, Starship Troopers, The Truman Show, Withnail & I....... Jesus Christ ok I need to stop

NOTABLE EXTREME FAVOURITES that I didn’t include in the regular rewatch list because they’re too heavy/not as well known/require more attention.:

Thin Red Line (1998), Badlands (1973) both dir. Terrence Malick

Malick’s brand of dreamy impressionistic filmmaking is something I find really appealing, both of these movies are gorgeous and unusual and poignant and, in the case of Thin Red Line at least, have a lot of things to say about a lot of rough subjects. I don’t totally understand all those things sometimes, but a theme with a lot of my favourite movies is that I’ll be more likely to love something long-term if it raises unanswered questions, or is surreal/esoteric etc. Plus the cinematography is incredible, and I wish there was a way to get Jim Caviezel’s narration from The Thin Red Line as an audiobook because it’s very poetic and soothing.

Let the Bullets Fly (2010) dir. Jiang Wen

This movie is WILD, it’s so much fun. It’s sprawling and intricate and epic and smart and really fucking funny, it! Has! Everything! A gang of very tolerant outlaws!! Jiang Wen’s beautiful broad chest!!! Chow Yun Fat absolutely DECIMATING the scenery, and the two of them outsmarting each other in order to gain control of a small Chinese town!!! Plus it’s long, but it packs so much nonsense and intrigue that it goes by really fast. Wow what a flick

A Field in England (2013) dir. Ben Wheatley

I know I included this in my horror list but aaaaahhh ahhhh Wheatley is one of my favourite directors (he also made Sightseers, and is directing the Tomb Raider sequel which makes me absolutely rabid.) This is a surreal black-and-white psychological horror black comedy set in the English Civil War about some deserters who may or may not meet the Devil in a field. People eat mushrooms. It’s bonkers. I love being blasted in the face with imagery that I don’t understand

Mandy (2018) dir. Panos Cosmatos

Speaking of being blasted in the face!!!!! This movie... I saw it in the cinema and I can’t even begin to explain the experience, but I’ll try. My favourite review site described it like this:

“...somewhere between a prog album cover come to life and a metal album cover come to life, and subscribes to both genre's artistic tendency towards maximalism: what it ends up being is basically naught else but two glorious hours of being pounded by bold colors...”

So, prog and metal are my two favourite genres of music. This movie opens with the quote “When I die, bury me deep, lay two speakers at my feet, put some headphones on my head and rock and roll me when I'm dead.” and then a King Crimson song, it is SURREAL to the nth degree, it’s violent and bizarre and Nic Cage forges a giant silver axe to destroy demonic bikers and there is a CHAINSAW DUEL. A galaxy swirls above a quarry. Multiple animated horror nightmare sequences. At one point a man says “you exude a cosmic darkness” and releases a live tiger. At another point Cage says, in a digitally deepened voice, “The psychotic drowns where the mystic swims. You’re drowning. I’m swimming.” and I haven’t stopped thinking about it for two years

Paper Moon (1973) dir. Peter Bogdanovich

Really fantastic movie set in the Great Depression (and also in black & white) about a conman and a little kid who may or may not be his daughter, running cons across the Midwest. It’s beautifully shot, so sharp and sweet and the progression of their dynamic is really well done because they’re played by an IRL father and daughter. Tatum O’Neal was NINE YEARS OLD and she’s so amazing in this movie she’s actually the youngest person to win a competitive category Oscar. I keep trying to get people to watch this fbdjfjdbf it’s wonderful

Alpha (2018) dir. Albert Hughes

THIS MOVIE IS A VICTIM OF BAD MARKETING ok, the trailers made it look like some twee crappy sentimental Boy And His Dog Adventure, plus it had voiceovers in American-accented english? That’s a total disservice to one of the coolest things about this film; the fact that they got a linguist to construct an entirely original Neolithic language that all the characters speak for the entire runtime. And yes, it is eventually a Boy And His Wolf adventure, but it’s COOL and fairly brutal, and it has some really incredible cinematography. The landscapes are so strange and barren and alien, you really get the sense that this is an ancient world we no longer have any connection to. And it’s also about like, the birth of dog & human companionship sooo it’s perfect.

Free Solo (2018) dir. Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi, Jimmy Chin

The Free Climbing Documentary. I loved climbing as a kid, I love outdoor sports, and I love movies that elicit a physical reaction in me, whether that’s horny, scared, real laughter, overwhelming shivers, or in the case of Free Solo - HORRIBLE SWEATING TENSION. Like, I knew about Alex Honnold beforehand because of this adventure film festival I go to every year and I followed him on IG so obviously I knew he lived, but the actual climb itself was torture. My hands sweat every time I see it!! It’s incredible, such a cool look into generally what the human body can do, and more specifically, why Honnold’s psychology and life means he’s so well suited to free soloing. It’s such an exercise in getting to know an individual and get invested in them, before they attempt something very potentially fatal.

Brokeback Mountain (2005) dir. Ang Lee

I can’t even talk about this. When I was around 13 I snuck downstairs to watch this on TV at 11pm in secret, and my life was forever changed. I wouldn’t be who I am if I hadn’t seen Brokeback at the age I did. I seriously can’t talk about this or I’ll write an even longer essay than this already is

God’s Own Country (2017) dir. Francis Lee

The antidote to Brokeback Mountain, I’m so glad I managed to see this one in the cinema too. It makes me cry every time, as someone who’s spent years working on a cold British farm with sheep it was very realistic, which is expected since Lee grew up on a farm in Yorkshire. I love that this movie isn’t really about being closeted, but about being so emotionally repressed and self-loathing that the main character finds it so hard to accept love. Or that he deserves to be loved. The cinnamontographies.... lordt... but also the intimacy and sex scenes are fucking searing wow who hasn’t seen this movie by now. 10 stars. 20 stars!!!

Tomboy (2011) dir. Céline Sciamma

I saw this years ago but I’ve never forgotten it, it cut so deep. It’s from the director of Portrait of a Lady on Fire and it’s about a gnc kid struggling with gender and misogyny and homophobia in a really raw, scrappy way, it reminded me very much of my own... childhood... ahh the central performance is amazing for such a young age. I haven’t seen Portrait yet but I feel like if you went nuts for that, you should definitely check this out, it’s lovely.

Donnie Darko (2001) dir. Richard Kelly

EVERY TIME I WATCH THIS MOVIE I UNDERSTAND LESS AND LESS and that’s what I love so much about it. I love surreal movies, I love time-fuckery and stuff about altered perception etc etc and Donnie Darko scratches all my itches. I wish I could find a way to figure out an IT AU for it, because I know it would work! Somehow! Plus it’s got the subdued 80s nostalgia and I found it at an age when I was really starting to explore movies and music and the soundtrack FUCKS.

Offside (2006) dir. Jafar Panahi

I wish more people knew about this!!! It’s an Iranian film about a disparate group of women and girls who are football fans and want to watch Iran’s qualifying match for the World Cup, but women aren’t allowed into the stadium, so they all get thrown into the Stadium Jail together? They don’t know each other beforehand, but it’s about their changing relationships with each other and the guards and just, their defiance alongside hearing the match from the outside and WOW it’s so lively. Great dialogue and very funny, and such a different kind of story from anything you usually see from Hollywood.

The Fall (2006) dir. Tarsem Singh

This movie... I guess it’s the ideal. This is the platonic ideal of a film for me, it has fantasy, magical realism, glorious visuals, amazing score and costumes and production design and a really interesting, heartbreaking relationship at the core of it. I don’t know why so many of my favourite films feature incredibly raw performances by child actors but this is another one, Catinca Untaru barely knew any English and improvised so much because of that, and it’s fascinating to watch! Also the dynamic with Lee Pace is one of my favourites, where a kid forms a friendship with a guardian figure who isn’t their parent, but the guardian grows to really care for them by the end. It’s like Paper Moon in that sense. What is there to even say about this movie, it’s pure magic joy tempered and countered by genuine gutwrenching emotional conflict in the real world, it’s also ABOUT old moviemaking, in a way, and it’s stunning to look at!

Mad Max Fury Road (2015) dir. George Miller

I know I included this in my “most rewatched” section but it deserves its own thing. We all know why this movie is fucking incredible. I remember clutching my armrests in the cinema and feeling like my skeleton was being blasted back into the seat behind me and tbh that is the high I’m constantly chasing when I go to see any movie. What a fucking gift this film is

Théo et Hugo dans le Même Bateau (2016) dir. Olivier Ducastel, Jacques Martineau

I only found this movie last year and it became an instant favourite. Initially I was just curious because I’d never seen a movie with unsimulated sex before, but it’s so much more than the 18 minute gay sex club orgy it opens with. No, not more than, AS WELL AS. The orgy is important because this movie is so candid and frank about sex and HIV treatment in the modern day, it was eye-opening. Another thing that really got me is that I’d never seen a real-time film before. It’s literally an hour and a half in the lives of these two men, their intense connection and conversation and conflict in the middle of the night in Paris, with some really nice night photography and just!!! Wow!!! AMAZING CHEMISTRY between the actors. This is such a gem if you’re comfortable with explicit sexual content.

Ok. This is already over 3k but film is obviously one of my ridiculous passions and I can and do talk about it for hours. I’ve been reading magazines about it for years, listening to podcasts and reading review blogs and recently, watching video essays on YouTube because the whole process is so interesting to me and I want to learn more!!

Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of valuing form over narrative. The idea that story can often come second to the deeper physical experience and emotional reaction that’s created by using ALL the elements of filmmaking and not just The Story, y’know? Whether that’s editing, shot composition, colour, the sound mix, the actors, how it should all be used to heighten the emotional state the script wants you to feel. And so, I think for a few years now this approach has been influencing the types of films I really, really love.

I think I love surreality and mind-bending magical realism in films specifically because the filmmakers have to use all those different tools to convey things that can be way too metaphysical for just... a script? I’m always chasing that physical response; if a movie can make me stop thinking “I wonder what it was like to set up that shot” and instead overwhelm that suspension of disbelief, if I can be terrified or woozy or crying for whatever reason, that’s what I’m looking for. That’s why I watch so many fuckin movies, and why I’ll always remember nights like seeing IT (2017) for giving me another favourite.

Thank you again for this question, I didn’t mean to go so overboard. Also there’s no way to do a readmore on tumblr mobile so apologies to anyone’s dashboard 😬

[margridarnauds]

XCalibur: My Review

So, it’s been a couple of weeks since XCalibur came out and, while I’m trying to sort out my own thoughts about this, I decided to do what I do best: Force everyone to read an overly long, barely coherent post.

First off: Let’s get this off the ground. The fact that we got to see this at ALL was phenomenal. This is really, really fantastic, as a step for KMusicals getting a wider western audience, and it’s something that I DESPERATELY hope that they will continue to repeat in the future. I’d have supported it if it was anything, simply because that would give a clear message that there IS an audience for this.

However...

[warning for spoilers, brief discussions of rape]

Overall Impressions: Look....it’s WILDHORN. Wildhorn and me....we go way, way back. Like, to 12 Year Old Rachel listening to Jekyll and Hyde. And the Scarlet Pimpernel. And....quite a few musicals after that. I CAN’T hate it. It’s WILDHORN + ARTHURIANA. Two of my favorite things in the world. But, that being said....this might very well be my fault, but I did find myself a little disappointed, in the sense that, listening to the cast album, I was expecting a much, much better musical than what I really got. Which was a huge order to fill, given that I’ve always considered Artus: Excalibur to be one of Wildhorn’s more problematic musicals. But, in all fairness, they DID kind of promise me more, given that they retitled the musical and said that this was the “World Premiere”™. The set is fantastic, the music is stunning, but it just felt a little hollow to me.

Sets/Costuming: I LOVED the Dark Ages aesthetic to it. The costumes really were great, Morgana’s in particular stole the show, but Guinevere, Merlin, Arthur, and Lancelot gets some nice looks as well, and it all serves to give this idea of the Middle Ages (albeit HEAVILY preying on the old stereotype that it was The Dark Ages, with a very dark color palette generally being observable throughout). This also serves to make it visually very distinct from the Korean production of La Legende du Roi Arthur, given the two of them showed VERY close to one another. (2019 was just the year of the Arthurian musical.) As a Celticist....it isn’t REALLY historically accurate, it’s still fantasy, albeit more Guy Ritchie’s Arthur VS The Crystal Cave Trilogy in terms of how MUCH fantasy it utilizes. LRA (and Artus: Excalibur) took the approach of it being PURELY fantasy, there is....nothing. Historical. In there. One thing that irked me about Artus was that it, in particular, had a CHEAP feeling, like it had roughly as much thought put into it as a 80s comic book idea of Camelot that they were going to slap on the back of a cereal box or something. (LRA, to its credit, was GLORIOUSLY anachronistic, but it was high budget and sleek. I loved it for that.) XCalibur is TRYING for a more historical feel, and, for the most part, it does succeed. Whether the set is a forest, a deserted hall, or Camelot in its prime, they SELL the medievalism. It’s a bit of a pity there’s no WELSHNESS to it, but that is me being nitpicky about my field not being in there. For an Arthurian adaptation, I’m not really going to ask for anything more; it gives what it promises and it does it well. (Though I will say that, every once in a while, one of those costumes would flash in the stage lighting and I would question whether I’d seen that gold fabric at a Ren Faire etsy. BUT in all fairness, those costumes weren’t designed to be viewed in close up like that, and this is probably me being needlessly mean. OVERALL, the effect was good.)

Music: It’s a Frank Wildhorn musical, so of COURSE I’m going to like the music. This is DEFINITELY a stronger musical than Artus, with several new songs (including “The Tempest”, “Let the Sword Make the Man”, and “If he were standing here”, both of which are highlights to me) that really stand out. Since settling himself firmly in the Asian market, Wildhorn’s stuff has developed a polish that wasn’t really there in his Broadway stuff. It sounds much more modern, much more streamlined, with Death Note, the Man Who Laughs, Robespierre, and Mata Hari all having a distinct SOUND that I’ve started to call Wildhorn 2.0. There’s this distinct energy that runs through this production that wasn’t really there in Artus, and I found that it makes the cast album REALLY a treat to listen to. As with Artus, “Celtic” (which, in this case, of course, means “Riverdance”) musical motifs are present in the instrumentals, but I found it MUCH less heavy handed than before, and it’s evenly balanced out by more traditional tunes. I didn’t feel like it was AS overloaded as before, where I routinely found myself napping in between swelling instrumentals.

As with all of Wildhorn’s stuff, there are certain songs that sound very similar to other musicals of his, if you know what to look for. “Why am I here?” for example is nearly a carbon copy of “Who do you Trust?” from Tears of Heaven and “Wenn das Shicksal dich ereilt” from Rudolf, which themselves form part of a distinct genre of his songs that can be traced back to “The Riddle” from The Scarlet Pimpernel and “You and I” from Svengali. “The Mark of the Wolf”, a new song, sounds very similar at points to “How Many devils?” from The Civil War. Etc. etc. I don't really consider this a BAD part, at least in the case of the former, since the songs in that genre, to me, represent the best of Wildhorn’s music. And, after all, with over 30 years on stage....the man can only come up with new music for so long until he starts producing SOMETHING that sounds similar.

Overall verdict? Strong music. Not my FAVORITE of Wildhorn’s stuff,  but I’ve definitely spent a few hours listening to the cast album on its own merits, and definitely more energetic and polished than the German run to my ear.

Plot: So, a big draw for me was “Has the plot been fixed from the days of Artus: Excalibur?” and.....I have many mixed feelings. I DO feel like we got more of a solid musical, but I also feel like it had some really, really sour notes and, in some ways, the transition to a new musical feels only half-way done. Like, they HAD a new musical in mind, they went halfway through the process, and then they shrugged their shoulders, said “That’s good enough”, and left us with a Frankenstein’s Monster. (Oh, wait, wrong KMusical.)

One of the biggest casualties was Morgana. Morgan le Fay has been one of my favorite characters in anything, ever since I was 7 years old and developing one of my first crushes via The Magic Treehouse. Morgana is always the FIRST one I look to in an adaptation to see how they handle her, and her plotline in Artus always felt weak for me, ESPECIALLY her relationship with Merlin, which Wildhorn once described as something along the lines of a “bit of a romance” but that was painfully underdeveloped, especially on her end. We knew that he was weak for her, to his detriment, we knew that she wanted what he had, and that they do.....the do together, but there’s very little REAL development in there, and no sign, on my end, of that “little bit of romance” as opposed to just. Using one another. When I heard that that plotline had been revised, I was THRILLED. Now, I feel like it was a monkey’s paw situation.

(1) Morgana goes from more or less apathetic to Merlin’s situation to.......being totally obsessed with him, to the point where she says he’s the only man she ever loved? Like, she goes from someone HIGHLY motivated by what she believes is her rightful inheritance to being motivated by Merlin’s dick.

(2) The timeline. My God, the timeline. Making Morgana a child when she’s shipped off AND then doing the “Only man I ever loved” thing (and SEEMING to imply that Merlin did love her as well, but refused to say it) is.....it’s bad. No other way around it. They did NOT think that timeline through.

(3) I HATED Guinevere getting Morgana in the back with an arrow, but you know? That was yet another monkey’s paw situation, given that at least it wasn’t “Morgana falling for a very obvious ploy that she SHOULD have seen coming from a mile away if she wasn’t, as has been established, obsessed with Merlin’s dick.”

I will say that, reworking the plot so that Morgana’s obsessed with Merlin’s dick DID work out better in the sense that at least the Madonna/Whore complex with her and Guinevere isn’t really there: We no longer see Evil, Sexy Morgana VS Sweet Forest Maiden Guinevere, and Guinevere in this version of the musical is allowed to be much gutsier than her German counterpart. They did give her quite a bit of character as opposed to “Naive Girl who believes Arthur is The Best but finds out Wrong”. Now, that gutsiness flies out the window once she marries Arthur and is mainly confined to singing sad songs and stepping in between Arthur and Lancelot, but see above for Frankenstein’s Monster.

I will say that I did appreciate that this adaptation was willing to really give us a DEEPLY flawed Arthur; it’s something I’ve seen relatively little of post-White in terms of Arthurian adaptations, and it’s something I’ve missed. (Once Upon A Time’s Evil Arthur notwithstanding.) Arthur is really rarely allowed to BE a character in his own right, he has to be an Ideal™ or, if he’s a flawed character, flawed in an acceptable, palatable way; here, he’s an angry young man who’s shoved into a position that he’s not really qualified for and has to grow into it. He shoves people away, he shouts, he trusts Morgana too blindly, and he basically causes the Guinevere/Lancelot situation on his lonesome. It’s actually a little great to see.

BUT. But. Monkey’s paw. I LIKED seeing Arthur being a little bitch on occasion, but, for better or worse, he is our main character. And, outside of his bonding scenes with Guinevere and Lancelot early on, we really....don’t get to see that many scenes where he’s LIKABLE. There are a few moments (the scene where he tries to get Morgana to dance at his coronation is ADORABLE), but the first time we’re really introduced to him, he’s in a fight, he (understandably) snaps at Merlin, decides that, hey, being king might not be so bad, is fun for a little while, and then he spends a solid chunk of the second act being a dick because his father died. I don’t really know. I feel like this is going to be one of those things that I keep rolling over in my mind, as far as whether I REALLY like HIM as a main character, or whether I like those individual moments where he’s likable.

A part of me liked that we had, instead of the two siblings fighting during “Was Will Ich Hier”, we have Morgana and Arthur bonding. That sibling bond was, in my opinion, one of the more interesting possible dynamics in the show. But, unfortunately, the resulting conflict with Merlin felt very “been there, done that.” It’s more PLAUSIBLE than in cases where, say, the Enemy of the Week poses as a little girl and suddenly the main cast, who have known one another for twenty years, are suddenly slinging accusations against one another, but it STILL felt rather forced and predictable.

I was actually really grateful that we didn’t have the Morgana/Lot relationship in this particular production--Making Morgana an actual domestic abuse victim and then killing her off NEVER sat well with me, but as a result of that, now we have this situation where we have two more or less unconnected villains: Morgana and Wulfstan, and the plot only really needed one. Wulfstan, as a character, just....isn’t interesting. He’s a more or less generic “Barbarian Warlord” type who’s pissed Arthur killed his son and creeps on Morgana. I can’t REALLY say anything more there. Their plotlines intersect in the very beginning, when they capture Morgana and she guides them to Uther’s old castle, but other than that, there’s a general disconnect between them, and there’s no real PAYOFF to that. Instead, it just feels like it makes the plot needlessly busy.

One thing I’ve noticed, with both La Legende du Roi Arthur and XCalibur, is this pressure to fit as MUCH Arthurian in as possible, and as a result, the final musicals become rather crowded, so there’s no real time for DEVELOPMENT or substance.

“Okay, we have to have the pulling from the sword here!” “Right!” “Hm, Morgana le Fay is one of the most iconic antagonists, we probably need her there.” “Saxons?” “Sure!” “Everyone’s expecting Lancelot and Guinevere, we can’t not have them in there.”

I FEEL like XCalibur is LESS bogged down than LRA with regards to that factor, since the latter also threw in Maleagant as a secondary antagonist to Morgana and the Grail quest, but I still feel like XCalibur bit off more than it could really chew. Which is a pity, because there are Arthurian plot lines that have gotten comparatively little attention in recent days that you could include instead of going the “Paint By Numbers” route.

This also really shows in how it deals with certain plot lines, which are either dropped (Wulfstan V. Morgana), or come out of nowhere. This is REALLY obvious with Lancelot/Guinevere, which is a pity because I found myself, against my own will, rooting for them more than any other pairing in the show. Lancelot goes from a cocky lady’s man to...suddenly being smitten with Guinevere.....and then suddenly, after Guinevere is sad about Arthur being a dick, the two of them are fucking. Now, it would be NATURAL, as far as “Guinevere goes to Lancelot when she feels like Arthur’s being cold to her”, but we don’t SEE that. We literally cut from her in the forest, singing a sad song, and the next time we see them, they’re postcoital. It feels like it comes out of NOWHERE. My investment in them, as a couple, is more due to the strength of the two actors involved than the actual WRITING, which thinks that because the BEDROCK for something is there (”Oh, Guinevere beat Lancelot in combat! Oh, she feels neglected!”) that that means the house is there as well (”Oh, Guinevere beat Lancelot in common....so NOW he’s totally in love with her and is never going to flirt with another woman again. Oh, Guinevere is feeling abandoned by Arthur.......so we don’t NEED to see her going to Lancelot.”) They jump from Point A to point D and the audience is left with a sense of whiplash.

Some things, like Merlin’s actions re: Igraine and Uther, as well as Morgana, are just not explored to a depth that I would really find is satisfactory. “Oh, I did all these terrible things....because of Fate!” is something that we’re REALLY supposed to pull behind, but, given the pain to everyone involved, ESPECIALLY the women (Igraine, Morgana, and Guinevere ALL suffer from Destiny™), you have to REALLY wonder if there was literally anyone else who could have done it.

...so, really. BBC Merlin. BBC Merlin.

MOVING ON FROM MY SALT...as a medievalist, I was actually relatively happy that for ONCE in an Arthurian adaptation, the conflict between Christianity and paganism (WHICH HONESTLY WASN’T EVEN THAT MUCH OF A CONFLICT IN TERMS OF THE CELTIC WORLD, BUT MOVING ON) was presented as being pro-Christian. I’ve dealt with WAY too much media, in my time, that treats, say, 8th century Catholicism in Ireland the same as 16th century Catholicism in Spain, and NO. They were VERY distinct. I am saying this as a confirmed, happy atheist. They were distinct. I do not need or want The Mists of Avalon 10.0 on my screen, no thank you.

That being said...Monkey’s Paw. Monkey’s Paw. I was NOT happy to see the conflict presented as “Christianity taking over is Destined and Good, the Old Ways™ have had their time.” There’s this rather ugly fatalism that runs through it, along with the idea that followers of the pagan tradition HAD to die for Christianity to take its place. It’s...not my favorite thing in the world. Perhaps I’m simply unpleasable in this aspect, but there has GOT to be some medium between the two. Maybe this is my Medieval Irish Bias seeping through here, given that, with what I’m used to, the druids were mentioned in law books through the 8th century. I own this. (”But Rachel,” you might say, reasonably, “This isn’t 8th century Ireland”, to which I would of course say, “BUT IT SURE AS HELL ISN’T 6TH CENTURY WALES OR CORNWALL EITHER.”) Medieval people, historically, while they didn’t REALLY have religious tolerance as we know it, didn’t always see it in stark terms of “PAGANISM IN ONE CORNER, CHRISTIANITY IN ANOTHER”: They were, as a whole, FAIRLY good at integrating aspects of both in, even when they didn’t really mean to. The entire thing is just mangled horribly.

Anyway. Celtic Studies Salt Over.

Actors/Actresses: I’ll be honest, I was expecting, primarily, Morgana, Arthur, and Lancelot to pull the plot along, mainly because they get, together, most of the primary numbers, and because, in the German, Sabrina Weckerlin essentially carried the show on her back. As it was, Kim So Hyang’s Guinevere was the one who REALLY, in my opinion, ended up carrying the show. She had a wonderful voice, strong voice, and her Guinevere was able to make a full, smooth journey between a young, bold girl to the troubled wife of a troubled king to a woman wracked with regret. I’ve seen her in a lot of things, but I don’t think I really NOTICED her until now. She did some truly phenomenal work here, I was really glad, actually, that I got to see and appreciate her Guinevere. (Though, as a Min Kyung Ah fan....I would have LOVED to have seen her Guinevere.) She had great chemistry with both of her leads, lending credibility to both relationships, more than the script itself might really give.

Kai isn’t really an actor I ever really LOOK for in a musical, I wouldn’t say that I’m a MASSIVE fan, but that’s only because I don’t actively search for his stuff. Every time I’ve seen him in something, he’s been solid, and I did very much like him in the press calls. It does seem a little unfair that he got both the press calls AND the pro-shot, but c’est la vie. I did like his Arthur, he had a steady voice to back up the role, his acting was solid. Arthur, as a character, doesn’t REALLY stick out for me, but that isn’t HIS fault so much as the script’s, really, and my pre-built in bias towards Morgana. I didn’t find him to be REALLY likable in the role, very angry and sullen, but.....well. See above for my take on Arthur’s general likability here. I do think the man did the best with what he had, though I also feel like he’s more natural in Arthur’s dorkier, more relatable moments, especially with, say, Guinevere, Morgana, and Lancelot. (Though I’m not sure if that’s because I like Arthur as a CHARACTER more there or if I’m reacting to his ACTING in the role. This is one of those times where I’d have really liked to see Do Kyum or Junsu’s take on the role, since that would help me iron out what parts are the WRITING and what are the actor, but, lacking that, I’m going to err on the side of generosity.)  

Shin Young Sook....I WANTED to like her Morgana. I did. But, I’ll be blunt, even as far back as the press call, I was feeling Jang Eun Ah’s Morgana more, I was, definitely, feeling a little disappointed when the proshot cast list was announced. So, in some ways, the poor woman would have had to have done miracles to get me to REALLY warm up to her. And I didn’t really see miracles on the stage. Her voice remains reliable, she is a belter like few others on the Korean stage. I give her that. But her acting basically totally ruined the character for me. My issues with the role, as detailed in the “Plot” section, aside, I believe that the overall character COULD be salvaged, from an audience perspective, with a nuanced enough portrayal. But, when I saw this particular take on Morgana...I didn’t see MORGANA. I saw Shin Young Sook, Having Fun, instead of Morgana, as portrayed by Shin Young Sook. An actress having fun in a role can definitely be GREAT (Park Hye Na as Eva in Frankenstein is one role of hers I will cherish forever), but in this case, which required a lot of nuance to pull it off and make the villain sympathetic....it does clash when you can tell that she’s one step away from evilly cackling and releasing a final belt before running off the stage. There is a time to ham and there is a time to not, and this was one of the “not” roles. There came some point, perhaps during the song “Desire”, perhaps before it, that I actively started DREADING Morgana appearing on stage. I don’t KNOW that Jang Eun Ah would have done it better. She could have done it worse. But it is a tragedy of only having a single cast available that I will always wonder. I was disappointed here. I was really, really disappointed.

Kim Jun Hyun as Merlin was solid. It’s well known at this point that I have a soft spot for him, but for what it’s worth, on a comparative level, I feel like this role suited him much better than, say, Orléans in Marie Antoinette (where, personally, though still liking him, I found him a little too cold for my taste). He is appropriately distant and otherworldly, showing a human side and conflict as the musical continues. Is he enough to make me LIKE Merlin, as a character? Not really, given how many people suffer because of him and how little the narrative actually QUESTIONS it, but damned if he doesn’t try, and he does lend a subdued charisma to the character, to the point where I know that at least some people noticed him more than they did Arthur or Lancelot. I did think he had -40 chemistry with Shin Young Sook, but that could be because I was ALREADY attached to him and Jang Eun Ah’s chemistry in the press call, and that is not so much a failing on one actor’s side or the other’s (I want to emphasize this, because I do NOT have anything against Shin Young Sook SPECIFICALLY on this point), rather it’s something that can’t really be qualified. (And is entirely subjective, I’m sure that plenty of viewers saw NOTHING wrong.) For me, it did cause me to actively cringe at certain scenes, such as the “This is where your Arthur came from”......”seduction”.....scene.

“Lord....I actually have fewer problems saying no to this than you might think, nvmind.”

It COULD be that that’s the look of conflicting desire, but to me, personally, watching it, it rather looks like Merlin just realized that he forgot to turn the stove off at home. Which is a pity, because I was REALLY going in here expecting to like Merlin/Morgana more than the love triangle and instead found it to be very awkwardly handled. I haven’t ENTIRELY given up on it as a ship, in some abstract way that would involve another rewrite of the entire musical, but I can’t REALLY say that there’s. Anything I like about it either. And I think that if I was less stubbornly determined to find SOMETHING in it to like, I’m fairly certain I would be even more uncomfortable with it.

My final verdict: Watching this, despite some impressive visuals (though not QUITE to the same level as fellow Wildhorn musicals The Man Who Laughs, Dracula, and Mata Hari) and performances, I found myself continually wanting to go back to the cast album rather than actually WATCH the musical. Changes have been made since the German production, but I found that, while some of the changes definitely served to make a stronger musical, some of them actively weakened the show, and it's still a little too busy for its own good. I’m also not REALLY sure that the changes made really justified it being given the label World Premiere™, given the hype around it. If it was available for streaming again, would I do it? Yes, because it IS worth at least one watch and the industry NEEDS to do this more. If it was available to buy, even, for $20 or so, I would probably get it. But I’m not sure that, if it was for the~ $100 price that Toho musicals tend to sell for, I would seriously be able to say “Yes, get this”, and I’m not sure that, if an American/European tour of it was miraculously announced, I would REALLY bend over backwards to get tickets.

6/10

Tl;dr: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY SISTER?”

[farawaysoph-ie]

The Bone Witch Incoherent Whatever

I started these books mainly because I can't read French very well, but this is a story for another list. I started them and finished them, and I didn't know I had needed such a story. This. Bad. So I guess a super long and super spoiler-y list was in order (while I cry again because they are too much T.T)

Rin Chupeco was immediatly added to my list of favourite human beings: the dedications were a mood and the acknowledgments, gosh wonderful

Tea of the Embers, love of my life, is amazing, I don't care about anything I loved her from her first words until the very end

Somehow we always knew where this was gonna end, but i didn't feel prepared at all, my heart breaking and mending at every chapter

"My only claim of strangeness was that I read fiercely, learned thirstly"

"We asha are always expected to be on our most proper behavior, to never have so much as a hair out of turn. Asha do not cry or scream or make threats. When people cut us, we are expected to do only two things: smile and bleed.”

The world building, the power system, the politics, Tea's commanding of the Dark

The deal with Mykaela heartglass broke my heart, I have ex that I regret and the idea that I could remain stuck like that, loving someone and slowly dying because of that terrifies me (HOW COULD YOU KILL HER WHEN THEY WERE SO CLOSE)

THE AZI

I repeat THE AZI

Tea looked at a giant three-headed undefeated dragon, went around in its head, saw it just wanted to be left alone (which same) and said I'm gonna keep it (which again SAME)

What do I have to do to befriend a dragon? (TELL ME)

Zoya turning out to be a magnificent and fierce warrior with a major case of ChildhoodFriendCrush, and not irrelevent mean girl

Also her and Shadi are just so cute, the way the first is always embarassed and everything and the other just loves and teases her more

"Unfortunately, the oracle had something very different in mind with me" takes on a WHOLE new meaning when you finish the trilogy

I hated how people started getting more and more scared of Tea, when in the end it was all a plot, a lot of prejudices were to blame, and they seemed to forget how kind my girl always was

I have to say I liked Aneah and all the words she whispered, give me a twisted dark lady and you have my attention

"A little corruption is good for the soul, Tea." To which yes, let a girl get revenge

I'm looking at you filthy oracle, I can understand the "I have to sacrifice something to win this fight" way to go, but you were just a pathetic crazy liar, how dare you corrupt Althecia

I can't get over that, I didn't see it coming

The elders made me sick, those horrible hags tested my patience, go die of old age Hestia or whatever

The end of The Bone Witch will always have my heart because Chupec dropped the ship bomb on me with a "Let's go, Kalen"

After going on with "a boy who died for me" and "I made a note to strangle Kalen as soon as I saw him again", AND THEN THAT

I was rooting for them, so I think I screamed or something: you say enemy to lovers, you have my attention

Those two invented love, it took them two books to get around, but was it worth it. They were so devoted to each other, like Kalen stayed with her against Everything and Everyone, like literally. We stan one loving boy

Whats more the oracle had predicted the next bone witch was gonna bring about the dead of her lover, and he was going around "get away from the prince!", then she went, brought down the freacking azi, trapped a Faceless one using her dead horse, and he was like "I guess I'm doomed"

gosh Fox

It all started with "Let me be clear: I never intended to raise my brother from his grave, though he may claim otherwise. If there’s anything I’ve learned from him in the years since, it’s that the dead hide truths as well as the living."

He is exactly how a big brother should be, you can feel him come back to life in every sense, slowly, until he falls in love. I could feel all his love for a sister he kept understanding less and less despite being in her head, and how this held him back from a life he wanted, but knew he shouldn't have had in the first place

Beautifully done, I felt and understood Fox, despite him not being the narrator, despite being angry at how the situation with Daisy was hurting Tea, the two of them were power siblings

“We need someone in our heads to tell us whenever we’re being idiotic. It’s the Pahlavi way.”

Mistress Parmina with her love for money, always stood behind Tea, despite her way of doing things and I wished that Councilor Ludvig was my granpa, I mean he was this kind, smart politician who taught Tea a lot and helped them mantain peace

Ah the well meaning Inessa, I liked her, but felt like I haven't seen enough of her

But the joke of how there were no rulers to get accidentally engaged to killed me, that's awareness

Polaire T.T

The infatuation for Kance stayed that way and I'm glad, and most of the last books I was like, don't hurt my girl

The Heartforger was a rollercoaster ship-wise: Tea insults Kalen, he is standing behind her; Kalen tries to be nice to Tea, Tea is very confused; pretend they are a thing in front of family; Tea compels Kalen hoping to save his life, Kalen is not pleased at all; unsuccessful apologies; realization, "compel me too", you gotta destroy this two dudes who were rude to you, so I can go "that's my Tea"; you don't just stab the Deathseeker while the bone witch is watching; very public kiss; taking each other back from Faceless influence

All the time they spent with a Heartshare rune between them

"We danced for a few minutes without saying anything. A Daanorian woman worked up the nerve to approach us but backed away when I glared at her. “Angry about something?” “You do know there are women itching to kill me right now, right?” His grip tightened. “Did someone compel the people in the palace? The wards are still in place.” I sighed. “That’s not what I meant. Never mind.”"

“Nobody’s more of a fighter than you. You’re the bravest, strongest, most amazing man I’ve ever…”

Realizes

"I mean you are alright"

When Tea jumped off the tower and the azi caught her !!! (yes I screamed, because I love one queen)

"He was the only place I could rest my head and dream without nightmares plaguing me, as they had for the last three months."

Rahim and Ches were very precious

And don't get me started on Likh

Lady Likh can very much kick your ass on her own, but try to hurt her and you'll have to speak with my punches

Khalad agrees with me (the guys in this family don't know how to get the hint)

But in the end, he was helping Tea so Likh could wake (tears, tears everywhere)

The induced madness and the Blight stuff were sick

From when Tea almost jumped off the window, with Kalen terrified poor boy, to killing Daisy (her own free and light sister T.T), to not remembering a second suicide attempt

Black heartglasses being associated with violence, and Tea's one turning because of what other people did to her

Tea' simple "I want to live", can't a girl have peace? Be free like the azi? Have daughters with her eyes and her singing voice?

"I felt the hatred you were capable of like it was my own. And in that instant, I loved the darkest part of you, because I understood, better than Fox or Mykaela could. I’ve known you at your worst." If this isn't love I don't know what is

Drunk Tea was a sight to be hold, and perfect: take off every filter from the dangerous Dark asha and what she has to tell you is how much she loves Kalen

“I don’t care. I’ll bring us back from the grave if I have to, silver heartsglass or not.” “And I will kill anyone standing between us,” he promised, before his lips closed over mine, “even if I have to crawl out of my grave to do so.”

And you know what? THEY DID.

Tea taking her trials, which after the last chapters were nothing worse than her nightmares: her home burning, her own execution could not compete with Daisy's death and Fox rejection

But Kalen was not a price she could ever think of paying

"You can’t break the rules simply because you want to. More often than not, the rules wind up breaking you."

“The world is a much bigger place than the space I occupy, and with even greater consequences.” “There will be no world if you aren’t here with me, Kalen.”

Yadoshans warm my heart

"That is the nature of tyranny, young Tea. Maintaining power is their sole intention. Why worry about retaliation and revolution when they have always intended to wield the sword?"

The whole part in which they killed Kalen and the azi, ripped my heart out

The song she must have sung for hours, and the azi waited until the end to say goodbye

Thank the Creator for the visions she got, or she would have really drown herself T.T

“Sons and daughters,” she echoed, “sons with my fire, daughters with my eyes. Mayhap one day, they will. A life worth dying for is a life worth living after all.” She laid a hand on her companion’s shoulder, squeezing. “Let’s go, my love.”

Even after this long list I feel like I didn't do justice to this trilogy or to how much I loved it. Tea's fierce and kind strenght, even when every one but Kalen was suspicious of her, even when she was going mad because of poison, even when she was trying to outsmart a ruthless enemy, did something to me.

I spent three books knowing that she didn't care if she survived, if she could save her friends then her wish to live was not important. She didn't want much, she just wanted to live. But she let go of that for everyone else. Yes I'm going to cry again.

About the ending I like to think that for finally healing the world she was rewarded, so she got the quiet life with Kalen she'd always deserved. I like to think that she and Kalen remember, that after they'd done enough they finally found their peace and freedom.

They were together, they got to be someone else and had all the time in the world.

[hecallsmehischild]

Recent Media Consumed

Books

A History of Christianity by Paul Johnson. Interesting story behind this choice. A friend remarked that Christianity had been spread by the sword, which I denied with a good bit of shock. She picked up this book to check herself, and soon after I decided it would be a good idea if I knew a bit more about the history of the Church, too. After reading this book, my understanding is that for most of its history, Christianity was not spread to non-Christians by the sword because Christianity was too busy shedding blood between its own sects to bother with non-Christians. After hearing about centuries and centuries of inter-sect horrors, I couldn’t help some dark humor, “Where did they even find the time and energy for anti-semitism?”. That aside, this was a very difficult book for me to process. This is the sort of book I struggle with because it is as dry as any high school history textbook and uses many words I’d never even heard of. Still, I really wanted to get some sort of starter picture of the situation, so I decided I would keep reading (listening on Audible) and glean as much as I could from the gist. I have definitely gleaned the gist and it is pretty depressing. Also, I found, there WERE periods when it was spread by the sword to non-Christians. Basically when Christianity and Politics mixed, the picture ain’t great. Christianity in power did some incredible things, but every page of its history is riddled with corruption and bloodshed too. I saw the roots of some dogmas I took for granted and it appalls and disheartens me. Funny enough, the end result of me reading this book is a deeper understanding of my desperate need for God’s grace, because there is NO way I can know with 100% certainty where the full and complete truth is at this point even if I was ready to conform every last aspect of my life to it, so there’s NO way I could “do all the right things” to earn grace, I just have to throw myself on God’s grace and mercy. This is a very painful and upsetting book to read, but I also think it is something most Christians should consider reading at some point. If we seek the truth as we claim, we must seek it as fully as we are capable in our lives, and the history of the church is not taught and examined nearly enough.

Blackout by Candace Owens. Approached with some caution. Listened while alternating between wincing and nodding. I think she makes some very good points, but I was having trouble pinpointing why I felt so uncomfortable with the decisive, often antagonistic tone she’d taken. But the more I listened to her describe black history, culture, and experience, the more I realized my discomfiture with her tone had to do with the fact that I was not her target audience, and realizing who was. At which point I laughed at myself. This is an interesting book, and while I do prefer reading Thomas Sowell’s calmer tone, I don’t regret this read. It’s another puzzle piece in a learning process.

The Winternight Trilogy by Katherine Arden. Oh this was a dark and lovely dark fairytale romp. And as I read it, I felt like I was reading fanfiction. Like, a good emotionally invested fanfiction writer spun a new angle on old, dark Russian fairytales and spirits. Took me out of reality for a bit, which was exactly what I needed to regain perspective on reality. Though it was a little weird for me to read, too. Danced on the edge of my comfort level on some issues, but raised questions I also want to think about.

Intellectuals and Society by Thomas Sowell. It is one of those kind of painful to read books. I’d already read Intellectuals and Race (which was a segment of THIS book that got expanded and extrapolated into its own book) though this book covers several other areas that intellectuals have had vast influence in (influence, he argues, that is disproportional to their understanding of the subject matter they opine on). I have about the same takeaway; be wary of those who feel they know enough to remove decision making from other peoples’ hands, becoming their caretakers and saviors.

Homestuck by Andrew Hussie. I did give it a real solid try, well over 800 pages of it. It’s an interesting idea, but it never really hooked me hard and I didn’t enjoy a lot of it. At this point I don’t think I want to finish it.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy “trilogy” by Douglas Adams. So I re-read the whole thing (all five books of the trilogy), and while I enjoyed the satire and verbal romp of it all (seriously, Douglas Adams just… PLAYS with his words in such a way that you comprehend every shade of meaning he intended you to get) I was left emptier by the end, this time. I think I realized what a lighthearted tragedy (or dark comedy?) this series is. Nothing has any meaning by the end. Still, it is a fun romp to read.

On Deck

The Princess Bride by William Goldman.

Lectures by Bart Ehrman about the History of Early Christianity

Lectures by Jordan Peterson about Genesis and Psychology

The Animaniacs Reboot

24 - Season 6

[midnightartemis]

Chapters: 30/? Fandom: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Finn/Rose Tico, Poe Dameron/Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren Characters: Rey (Star Wars), Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Ben Solo, Finn (Star Wars), Poe Dameron, Rose Tico, Leia Organa, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, Maz Kanata, Larma D'Acy, Amilyn Holdo, Snoke (Star Wars), Boba Fett, Bossk (Star Wars), Armitage Hux, Chewbacca (Star Wars) Additional Tags: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abuse, Drug Use, Suicide Attempt, Star-crossed, Dreams, Alternate Universe - High School, High School, School Dances, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Foster Care, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Near Death Experiences, Multiverse, Reincarnation, Attempted Sexual Assault, Assault, Graphic Description, Teenage Drama, Horny Teenagers, Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Past Drug Use, Drug Dealing

Chapter Two

The first day, a new school. I take a deep breath. It wasn’t my first new school, but I hoped it would be the last. It was a lot to process- Maz, Holdo. Every one of my instincts told me it was too good to be,  but I trusted Holdo, and if Maz raised Holdo, I could trust her too. She was right. This was different.

I wake up early, wanting to make a good impression. I brush my teeth and shower and- Is that a razor? It takes a lot longer, but I eventually make it through my leg and armpit hair and jump out of the shower. The closet- My closet is filled with clothes of every shape and size and style and I wonder just how many girls Maz has fostered over the years.

I fish through the clothes until I find a soft dandelion yellow overall style dress and pair it with a white, faux turtleneck shirt made of incredibly stretchy, soft material. There’s a pile of shoes under the clothes, but I decide to stick with my ratty, old white converse… Well, they used to be white. I grab my bag and head downstairs, vibrating with excitement and nervousness. Maz is sitting on the back deck nursing a coffee and overlooking her garden. She’s still in purple and pink pajamas and looks up in surprise when I walk out the door. “You’re up early. Sleep well, kid?”

I nod and stare hungrily at the platter of eggs and bacon. “Yes, thank you.”

Maz notices my hunger. “Well, don’t just stand there, they’re there for you, too. Dig in.”

I quickly sit and fill my plate.

“Do you drink coffee?” I nod and she stands, fetching another cup for me. “Cream? Sugar?”

“Just plain black, please.”

“Ah, you’re one of the good ones I can tell.” Maz chuckles and I giggle, accepting the coffee from her. It smells amazing.

“How many girls have you fostered?”

Maz sits back, a pleasant speculative look in her eye. “Oh… I lose track sometimes. I’ll have to pull out the scrapbook, but I think at least twenty over the years. There was a period of time where I fostered siblings, but now I just take only children. Two people are more than enough for this house. I’ve adopted five of them.”

“Five!?” I nearly choke on my eggs.

“Yes, Amilyn is the only one I see regularly since she’s so close, they’re all spread out all over the world, but most of them call or text or send letters a lot.”

“And it’s just you? No one else?”

“Nope, no one else. I’ve had my fair share of romances,” she winks. “But I do best on my own. I prefer it, with you all for the good company of course.”

“Why do you do it?”

“Well, I know what it feels like. I was in the system once, too. Long, long before your time. I got taken in when I was sixteen by my adoptive parents. And when they died, I decided to carry on that legacy. Help others how they helped me.”

“That sounds very noble.”

Maz snorts. “Hardly. I’m a senile old woman who just wants a little company. It’s for all those-how do you kids say it- juicy government checks.” There’s a twinkle in her eye as she jokes. She takes a glance at the watch on her wrist. “Finish up, wash up. I’ll put on my grandma’s pants and we’ll get you off to school. They’ll want me to sign a bunch of stuff and I gotta get to the bar to deal with their usual incompetencies. Did she mention the bar?”

I nod through my last bite of eggs.

“You’ll never have to go there if you don’t want to, but you’re more than welcome to come by after school. Also, you should send me your number. I don’t want a minute by minute notice of where you are, but you are my responsibility, so I would like to know your general locations and plans. Fair?”

I nod. “Fair.”

There weren't a lot of places I planned on going to. I didn’t know anyone here. Though… I wouldn’t say no to exploring the downtown area.

Maz left to change and I finished my breakfast and cleaned my dishes. I searched through the cupboards until I found a set of glass Tupperware and placed the leftover eggs and bacon inside. I waited patiently on the couch, twiddling my thumbs and trying to not think about things so much. The first day of classes always made me anxious, and now my life has completely turned around in the last twenty-four hours. Maz appeared at the bottom of the stairs and I tried and failed to not smile at her “grandma pants”. For one thing, they were bright purple and covered in embroidery, and, for another, they were paired with an equally bright pink and blue top. Everything screamed hippy grandma. She grabbed a set of keys from a hook on the wall. “Alright, kid, got everything?”

I nod and follow her out the car to her small garage where there is, of course, an original bright yellow Volkswagen bug. Who is this lady and where has she been my entire life? I climb in the passenger seat and we take off down the road to the school.

My stomach does a flip at the sight of the school. There are a few cars in the parking lot, but we’re still half an hour early. Maz parks and we walk through the doors of New Republic High together. The entrance lobby is huge, surrounded by windows and filled with light from a round skylight in the ceiling. The floor is white tile and in the center of the lobby floor, there is a huge mosaic crest of a Falcon clutching a sword. A red banner flies below it inscribed with Latin: In absentia lucis, Tenebrae vincunt.

“It means ‘In the absence of light, darkness prevails.’”

I jump at the voice and look up to see a bubbly girl with jet black hair and a cute face smiling at me. “Uh… Okay.”

“You must be Rey, I’m Rose and I get to be your student ambassador. I also help out in the office and I saw you were starting today, so I thought I would meet you at the door.” Rose sticks her hand out and I shake it. “Hi, Miss Kanata.”

“Rose…” Maz raises her eyebrows.

“Sorry. Miss Maz.” Rose’s smile doesn’t falter. “It’s the school’s motto. It’s supposed to inspire us to ‘be the good in the world’ or something.” She waves her hand through the air, brushing past the meaning. “Principal Organa is ready for you if you. She’s excited to meet you.”

Rose practically skips away and we follow her, ascending the stairs to an open door that leads to a reception area. Rose walks through the reception center and to an open door near the back. We follow her through and I find myself in a spacious office. Everything is wood and lavender, warm and inviting. Sitting at the desk is an older woman with greying hair, perfectly styled in a braided bun. She’s wearing a tailored blue dress and silver cat eyeglasses on the bridge of her nose. She takes her glasses off as we enter and stands with a smile. “Rey Niima?”

I nod and shake her hand.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you. I am Principal Leia Organa. And good to see you again, Maz.” Principal Organa’s smile is warm, inviting. Still, I wouldn’t want to get on her bad side. “Rose, thank you. Would you please get Maz the right paperwork and I’ll talk with Rey?”

My stomach flips with nerves again. Principal Organa gestures to the chairs in front of her desk and I sit as Rose and Maz leave. Organa puts on her glasses once more and moves to her computer. “Just a moment, let me pull up your file.”

I sit up straight, on edge as I look around the room. There are bookshelves filled with books and art. An orchid blooms on a windowsill, and I think that the window overlooks a courtyard.

“Here you are. Very impressive Rey. It says that you finished up Trigonometry and English Two, a history class, a social studies class, Earth Science, and computer programming. No language courses?”

“They didn’t exactly offer any,” I say, nervous. “I know a little bit of Spanish. One of my foster families lived in the Hispanic neighborhood of Jakku.”

“Would you like to take a placement test in Spanish?”

I shake my head. “I only know how to say a few things, not read or write.”

“We require three years of language to graduate.” She peers at me over her glasses and I sink in my seat. She turns her gaze back to her computer and clicks a few things. “We will just have to get you all caught up. You can either take an extra summer course or have two blocks of language, it’s up to you.”

“Uh…” I’m completely out of my depth. I’m not even sure if I’ll still be here in the summer, much less what a block is. “What’s a block?”

Principal Organa’s eyes soften. “We run New Republic more like a college than a high school so that you’re prepared when you go to college. It builds responsibility and trust. So, you’ll have some classes that you only have Monday, Wednesday, Friday, or Tuesday, Thursday. Blocks are forty-five minutes. Some of your classes may only take up one block, some two or three.”

College. I shake my head. It was a dream. “Okay. Um… I guess I’ll do two blocks of language.”

“We offer French, Spanish, Russian, and Latin.”

“Latin.” Might as well. Organa smiles.

“So, I’ll mark you down for the junior year history class- Current World Events and most juniors take Psychology unless you’d rather take Religion?” She glances at me and I shake my head. “And, P.E. That’s the basics, the rest have a little wriggle room for what you want to do here. So, tell me about yourself. What are you interested in? What are your plans for post-graduation?”

“Uh… I have no idea what I’m going to do after graduation. I like science and math… Figuring out how things work.”

“Taking things apart and putting them back together?” She asks.

I nod. “It used to get me in a lot of trouble.”

“A little bit of trouble never hurt anyone.” Principal Organa winks. “I want you to meet with our Guidance Counselor. There’s a lot of avenues for girls like you who want to go into STEM fields. For now, since your math and science grades are so high, I’m going to place you in… Pre-Calculus, Physics, and… Small engines.”

I wrinkle my eyebrows. “Small engines?”

“It’s more fun than you think. I’m no good at it, but my husband is, and I think you’ll like him.”

She barely knows me, but okay. “Okay.”

“And last, but not least, I like everyone to take at least one art class. There’s painting, drawing, photography, band, orchestra, choir, sculpture, woodworking… Are any of these peeking your interest?”

“Drawing, I guess.” I had taken a drawing class before. I wasn’t the best at it, but I wasn’t horrible either.

“Okay.” Principal Organa hit a few more buttons. I heard a printer whirl beneath her and she bent down to grab a piece of paper.

“This is your schedule,” she grabbed another sheet of paper as well and handed both to me. “And the second one is a list of all the groups and activities on campus as well as a list of emails for staff and phone numbers for any services you may or may not need during your time here. And my door is always open, Miss Niima. I’m happy to have you here. Rose will handle you from here and show you around to all of your classes.”

I walk out of Principal Organa’s office to find Maz and Rose crackling at the counter. Rose wipes away tears from her eyes and Maz grabs her bag from the counter at the sight of me. “Looks like they got you all ready to go, hun. I’ll pick you up at four unless you let me know differently. You have my number, and Rose will take good care of you.”

I’m a little sad to watch her go. And excited. And nervous. And still trying to process everything. Rose seems nice enough. I usually didn’t get a guide on the first day. Jakku’s schools were more of the ‘fend for yourself’ type. Rose waves good-bye to Maz and turns to me. “You get your schedule?”

“Yeah.” I hand the paper to her and she looks it over, growing more and more excited. “What is it?”

“Lucky for you, we have a lot of the same classes. Both STEM girls.” Rose winks and I blush uncomfortably. “Ugh, I loved small engines. Mr. Solo is so cool.”

“Is that Principal Organa’s husband?”

“Yup!” Rose bounces from around the counter. “Come on. I’ll give you a tour and show you your locker. The assembly doesn’t start for another half-hour.”

I follow her closely out into the halls and it’s completely different from earlier. I can hardly see the school seal there’s so many people rushing back and forth, talking, laughing, hugging. Rose takes my hand and before I know it I’m dragged into the chaos.

“So, you already saw the seal. We’re the Millenium Falcons, established in 1960 by the Skywalker family, of which Principal Organa is descended from. It’s a long history with a lot of drama. This is the freshman wing,” Rose pointed down a long hallway and then to the mirroring one. “And the Sophomore wing. Basically, the founder got killed by her husband and nearly got killed himself, even though he really really loved her and she was pregnant. It’s kinda sad actually. No one really knows the full story.”

Rose pushed through glass double doors and we walked into a courtyard. The sidewalk divided the green into quarters. Every inch of the courtyard was maintained and perfectly landscaped. There was even a fountain in the center. Rose gestured to the wall of the building on her right. “That side houses the gymnasium. There’s a swimming pool and a rock wall and a weight room. Oh, you’ll need to bring tennis shoes for that and stuff to shower with, but they provide a shirt and shorts. The other side,” Rose nodded to the left side of the square courtyard. “That’s where the lunchroom and the art rooms are.”

I follow Rose straight across the courtyard, trying to take it all in. It was so massive, so grand compared to everything I had never known. A pool? Really? I hope they don’t make people swim… I push the thought away. I’ll burn that bridge when I get there. Just survive the first day. We walk through an identical pair of double doors and we’re in the back of the square. It looks almost identical to the front of the building. I can see a parking lot through the windows and rolling forests beyond that. The seal is there again, and it’s crowded with students rushing around.

“Finn! Poe!” Rose dropped my hand and raced towards two guys in varsity jackets. The tall, dark one caught her and swung her into a deep kiss. They broke apart laughing and Rose gave the other a quick hug. His hair was dark and curly, a smirk on his lips. It wasn’t hard to miss the class clown. Rose waved me over. “Rey, this is Finn and Poe.” She nodded to the boy she kissed and the class clown respectively.

“Hi.” I smile and wave shyly. Finn gives me a giant grin and immediately pulls me into a bear hug. “Oh.”

“It’s great to meet you, Rey,” Finn says once he sets me down.

“Diddo.” Poe winks at me and Rose slaps his chest.

“Poe, don’t scare her away. She’s a science girl, too, and I need more girl power in those classes. I’m outnumbered and tired of it.”

“It’s okay,” I laugh. “He doesn’t scare me.”

Finn laughs. “Okay, I like her. Are you giving her the famous Rose Tico tour?”

“I’m trying to, and then I got distracted.” Rose gives Finn a quick kiss on the lips and I blush, looking away. “Save us seats at assembly?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Finn smiles, a man in love.

The people around me are bustling and loud, obnoxious teenagers. I’m suddenly grateful for my newfound friends.

Rose is gesturing down the hall on the right. “That’s the senior hall. You might go in there sometimes, especially in winter to go to lunch. They get really pissed if you’re loud during class time, but you don’t seem like the loud type.”

I smile. No, not really. Loud spaces were difficult sometimes, especially when I was as uncomfortable as I am now. Rose takes my arm and leads me down the last hall. “This is the Junior hall.”

We walk down a hall filled with blue lockers. There’s a door to a classroom about every twenty or thirty feet. Rose looks at my class schedule. “You’re locker 364, not that far from me!”

We find my locker and Rose tells me to leave my bag there. I do, after struggling with the combination for ten minutes. The end of the hall comes to a corner with a staircase and a wall of windows. Around the corner is a door marked Gymnasium. Rose lets me peek in and I can only gape at the two basketball courts, and, beyond that, a huge glass wall. There are treadmills and workout equipment on the top floor, and I get a glimpse of the pool on the first level. Rose drags me up the stairs and I’m in an identical hall as the one below us. More lockers, more classrooms. Rose points out which ones are which, but I know that I’ll forget.

We came to the area where Principal Organa’s office had been on the other side, but here it's a student lounge overlooking the courtyard. There’s a little kitchen area with a vending machine and a microwave and plenty of chairs, couches, and tables for studying. Rose is explaining something about the vending machines when an announcement comes over the speakers. “Will all students and staff please report to the auditorium for the Welcome Back Assembly? All students and staff please report to the auditorium for the assembly. Thank you.”

Rose’s eyes light up as if she lives for assemblies. Maybe she’s just excited to see Finn again. She grabs my arm and power walks me through the hall and down the stairs. We enter the auditorium through double doors and the room is buzzing with noise and excitement. Poe and Finn wave at us from the front of the room.

We join them as the lights dim and Principal Organa comes up on stage. The buzz in the room dies out and she waits for silence. “Hello, New Republic High!”

A riotous cheer echoes through the auditorium and Poe and Finn are whooping beside me. Organa raises her hands and the room quiets once more. “I hope you all had a great summer and are excited to get back to work. I only have a few announcements and then I’ll send you on your way. First, there will be absolutely NO pranks played on the cheerleaders this year, Mr. Dameron.” Her eyes are shooting lasers at Poe.

He gives her a cheerful thumbs up and leans over to me. “I’m planning on the swim team, instead.”

I giggle. Organa’s already moved on to more usual school things. Laptop roll out, schedule questions, where to look for club sign-ups. I should pay attention, but I’m still trying to process everything around me. It’s all so new and crazy. I close my eyes and try to calm my breathing, just have to get through the first day. The first week.

The assembly ends and Rose takes my hand, leading me out the side. First on the agenda, English Comp. We make our way back to my locker and she leaves me for a second to grab her own bag. The hall is filled with students rushing to classes and I cling to my bag, anxiety filling my chest. Rose touches my arm. “I’m not sure what I would do without you. It’s a lot to take in.”

Rose beams. “I got you. It’s exciting having a new friend. My sister went off to college this year, so I’ve been a bit lonely. And it all calms down after the first week. Everyone is crazy trying to figure out their schedules and where they need to be.”

We have English together, then Latin, then Math, then Physics. My stomach is rumbling by the time lunch rolls around and I find myself standing in line with Rose, staring out over the huge bustling lunchroom. “How long do we have to eat?”

“What?” Rose gives me a strange look. “Oh, it’s not timed, really. You just have to make it to your next class on time. Which is… Drawing at two. Nice. So, like, an hour.”

Lunch looks better than anything I had ever been served back on Jakku. For one, it resembles actual food. For another, I get to choose what I want to eat. Maybe I could get used to this. My stomach turns. Maybe I shouldn’t get used to this. I knew how quickly things could get taken away.

When we sit down, Poe and Finn are in the middle of arguing about football, I think. It’s all just sports talk to me. Rose leans over to me, “Don’t worry, I have no idea what they’re saying either. Are you liking your classes so far?”

“Yeah, but I think I’ll need a cart to carry all these books around.” I grin and poke at my peas.

Rose snorts. “Me too. It’s torture. Hey, we should definitely start a study group together. I saw that you have a free block with me Tuesdays and Thursdays.”

“That would be great.” A friend! I smile and dig into my chicken.

“Do you think you’re going to join any clubs or anything? There’s A Capella, chess, film…”

I shrug. “I’ve never really been a group person.” Rose gives me the saddest look. “But, I can see. What are you in?”

A giant smile breaks across Rose’s face.

“Oh, now you’ve released the beast.” Finn chuckles, making eyes across the table at his girlfriend.

“So, there’s this group I’ve been wanting to get started.” Rose’s eyes are bright and excited and I can’t help but laugh. “It’s called FEM-STEM for women in science. And we’d be part robotics team, part STEM buds, and it would really just be you and me for right now, but that’s enough to start and I, like, need a Vice President.”

“I would love, too!” There’s a flash of anxiety in my gut as I drop out of the dream for a second. “But I don’t know how long I’m staying here. It’s all so new, you know. But, I’ll definitely think about it. I just want to make sure Maz is like a sure thing. I haven’t had the greatest time with foster parents.”

I finish softly and there’s a soft oh from Rose’s lips. I look up and my eyes connect with his. Dark, brooding, intense. I gasp and look away. I look back up and he’s turned away, head in a book, scribbling, black hair falling over his eyes. I know those eyes… I know them from… Somewhere. I tune back in.

“It’s totally okay. I totally understand. I didn’t mean to bring up-”

“I’ll do it.” I force a smile. Rose squeals and pulls me into a huge hug. What is it with these people and hugs? “I have to talk to Maz first.”

“Oh, Rey. Thank you.” Rose is bouncing in her seat with excitement.

I glance back at him and he looks up at me. Something imperceptible passes across his eyes and he gathers his things to leave. The table he’s at is empty. “Who’s that?”

Poe, Finn, and Rose’s eyes track mine as I watch him leave the giant lunch hall. Poe’s face immediately darkens into anger while Rose and Finn share a knowing look and glance at Poe. Poe takes a deep breath and lets it out. “It’s fine. She’ll find out sooner or later and it may as well be from us.”

Poe’s eyes meet mine and I’m filled with a burning curiosity. He’s immediately on edge, tensed.

“I can’t believe she let him come back.” Rose mutters.

“Well, he is her son.” Finn replies softly. I glance between the three of them confused.

“What happened?”

Rose sighs. Her voice is almost a whisper like she’s telling me a secret. “That’s Ben Solo.”

“Solo?” It sounds familiar but I can’t quite find it amongst the ocean of information that’s been driven into my head today.

“Yeah, Principal Organa and Mr. Solo’s son.” Finn fills in. Suddenly, Poe slams his fist down on the table and the whole cafeteria goes quiet. He stands and walks out. My eyes go wide. Finn grabs both their trays. “I’ll go calm him down.”

The chatter starts up again as Finn leaves. My heart is racing. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up something bad. I-“

“No, Rey, it's okay. You didn’t know. You couldn’t have.” Rose’s voice is steady. Calming. “I just wouldn’t bring Ben Solo up in front of Poe again.”

“Yeah, of course.” I poke at the remaining peas on my plate, no longer hungry.

“Poe and Ben… well I think they used to be really good friends as kids. I’m not sure. I moved here in middle school. But as they grew up, well, Poe is really easy to like. And Ben, I guess, not so much. I’m a little fuzzy on the details. But I guess Ben started having a lot of mental health problems and anger issues and I think he got started down the wrong path. No one is really sure, but a lot of people say he might sell drugs or something. And Poe thinks that Ben sold Poe’s twin sister the drugs that Lily overdosed on. And it all kind of culminated at the end of last year when Ben showed up to the funeral. Poe came to school and it was so scary. I’ve never seen him so angry. And he and Ben got into a fight in the courtyard that sent both of them to the hospital. The police got involved. It was horrible. And I guess Ben got shipped off to some reform summer camp. And it’s why Poe can’t play any varsity or junior lacrosse this year.”

“Gods. That’s horrible.” Anxiety knits my stomach. Maybe I should find Poe and apologize.

“Yeah...” Rose wipes away a tear and looks at the time on her phone. “Oh! I should probably get you to your next class. I have vocal so it’s in the same wing at least.”

We discard out trays and walk out of the cafeteria and up a flight of stairs to the Art Hall as Rose called it. There were three art studios on one side of the hall and the orchestra/band room on the other side. Two double doors at the end of the hall were for the balcony seats of the auditorium. I waved goodbye to Rose and she ran off to the auditorium for vocal and for the first time today I’m alone. The classroom looks empty since I’m about ten minutes early so I go in and nearly jump out of my skin.

Ben Solo is sitting in the corner of the classroom at one of the high drawing desks eating an apple. He looks up in surprise as I enter and takes a bite. I can’t get rid of the feeling that I know him from somewhere. But where?

“Sorry… I thought it was empty.” No reply. “Is it okay if I sit in here too?”

His intense eyes regard me carefully. “It’s a free country.”

His voice is deep, gravelly, sensual almost. I… was not expecting that. I pick one of the desks almost directly across from him. He goes back to his work as I take out my schedule and club list, as well as a thick welcome packet Rose had given to me. It’s the first time today I’m able to sit and breathe and think. I let out a deep sigh. First days are the worst.

I feel a tingle on my skin like someone’s watching me and I look up only to see him look back down at his sketchbook. A strand of long black hair falls in front of his face and I catch myself wondering what it would feel like to brush it back.

What the hell, Niima? I look back down at my papers electing to ignore him. He probably just had one of those faces. Besides, if anything Rose said was true, I shouldn’t  trust this guy at all. It’s not trust, it's curiosity. Okay, well, then I shouldn’t be curious either. He’s bad enough to make funny, happy-go-lucky Poe Dameron go nuclear.

I glance back up at him and our eyes lock. I don’t know if we’re looking at each other for minutes or hours or just seconds. He moves like he wants to ask me something and the classroom door swings open breaking our trance.

A tall woman struggles through the door carrying a giant armful of drawing pads and utensils. I rush to help her, taking some of her things.

“Oh, thank you, dear. You’re so kind. Yes, just put one on each desk for me.”

I’ve taken a box of boxes of drawing pencils from her. I set to work placing boxes of pencils on my desk, deliberately starting as far away from him as possible. I work my way around the U of desks and come to him. He stiffens as I draw near and dammit he smells good too. I hastily shove a pencil box at him and he takes it. His fingers brush against mine and I gasp, hurrying away from him. My heart is pounding in my chest and I can feel him watching me. I’m so ready for this day to end.

I set the empty box down on the desk and the art teacher is desperately trying to get the overhead projector to turn on.

“Do you mind?” She hands me the remote and I turn on the projector with one click. She laughs and takes it back. “I swear, technology hates me. I don’t recognize you so you must be…. Rey Nemo.”

“Niima.” I smile.

She clicks her tongue. “Yes, that’s what Rose said. Pretty name. I’m Mrs. Tico, the drawing teacher.”

“Rose’s mom?”

She smiles brightly. I can tell where Rose gets her sunshine personality from.  “The one and only. I hope my daughter hasn’t scared you off yet.”

There’s a light scoff behind me and I look back to see Ben concentrating very hard on his notebook. Did he know me? Did he recognize me from somewhere, too?

I turn back to Mrs. Tico. “Not at all. She’s been really nice and welcoming. I think it’s the best welcome party I’ve ever had.”

The door swings open and students start to roll in. Mrs. Tico smiles. “Well, we’re more than happy to have you here and I’m delighted to have you as a student, Rey. Maybe you can convince my daughter to take one class with her momma. I sure can’t.”

I laugh and head back to my seat. I don’t catch him looking at me the rest of the block, but for some reason I know he is.

The bell rings, signifying the end of the block and I gather myself. Rose is waiting for me outside the door, a petrified look on her face.

“What?”

“You have class with him? After I told you all that stuff? Oh jeez, I’m so sorry.” Rose's eyes are wide.

I shrug. “Don’t worry about it.”

Should I mention the staring? The eye contact? The fact that I find him kinda hot? The weird feeling in my chest when he looks at me? Probably not. Probably should just chalk this up to weird teenage hormones.

“So the shop is a bit different. It’s across the parking lot because it has to be a separate building because of building codes or something.” Rose says as we walk through the hall, down the stairs, and through the double glass doors into the back parking lot. We head towards a building made of white tin and Rose drops me off at the door.

“I like your mom, by the way. She seems nice.”

“Yeah, she’s pretty cool. She keeps wanting me to take art classes but I can’t draw to save my life.” Rose shrugs. “Do you have any plans after school? I usually go to the coffee shop and work on homework or hang out until Finn gets done with practice.”

“That sounds fun. I think Maz wanted to take me shopping for some things tonight though. Maybe some other time?”

“Oh sure! How about tomorrow?” Rose raises her eyebrows. “I mean you can totally say no, but I think it would be fun to hang out outside of school.”

It was hard to not want to be Rose’s friend. She made it so easy. Don’t get attached. She’s just being nice. I pushed the thought out of my head. “Yeah! Tomorrow sounds great.”

Rose beamed.  “Sweet! I’ll see you tomorrow then! Bye, Rey!”

I watched her race across the parking lot back to school. I opened the door to the huge white shop and was greeted with a small classroom. A couple tables with benches faced a white board. And in front of the white board, staring at me again was Ben. Why me. Why today.

It looks like I’ve just interrupted a strained conversation between him and the man at the desk. Ben immediately takes a seat near the outside wall of the room. The man at the desk stands and saunters over to me. He’s wearing a white shirt and jeans with grease spots. He’s got greying hair and a twinkle in his eye. “Rey Niima?”

I nod.

“Han Solo, how you doing, kid?” He sticks his hand out and I shake it. I’m trying to put three and three together. The grungy man before me and the polished lady I met earlier and their mysterious son in the corner.

“I’m okay, thank you.”

“Nice to have a girl in here. Maybe it will teach some of these boys a lesson.”

Not sure what that means, but I catch Ben glaring grumpily at the desk in front of him.

“Have you worked with engines before, kid?”

I nod. “A little bit. Kinda. I… Stayed with someone who owned a junkyard and he let me take stuff apart. Mostly I think he just wanted me to learn how to strip cars for parts cause my hands were small.”

Is that too much information? My stomach twists but Mr. Solo seems delighted and Ben is staring at me again. He quickly looks away.

“Oh, yeah, Maz had told me she was fostering a new kid. Look at you. You’ll do fine here. Just pick a seat. We’ll start once the others show up.”

I sit down two rows behind Ben. Try to stare at me now. I smirk. But now you get to be the one who stares. I roll my eyes at my subconscious. It’s curiosity. And hormones. Pure and simple.

By the time I get home that night, I’m completely exhausted from the day and from answering a million questions. The moment I lay down, I’m passed out and dreaming of dark eyes and endless darkness. Flashes of him pass through, fleeting. When I wake in the morning, I can’t remember much of it.

[geek-gem]

I’ve Rewatched Joker 2019

It’s my 2nd time seeing it before it could possibly make a billion dollars, and I was by myself this time. I did make a tweet about it and took a while to start making this. Because after seeing it a 2nd time. I wanna give a more in depth thoughts on the film itself. Especially after this month I’ve reblogged a lot of stuff about it. It’s been on my mind still and still for a month. 

This is gonna be my honest thoughts and I’m glad I saw it again. Especially this time it’s more clear to me. Also no spoilers here because I wanna be careful of spoiling anything to any followers who haven’t seen it.

Also a funny but amazing thing because I thought it was 4:40 but it was 4:30 pm for it to come on. I got in a minute before the movie started which was amazing.

Just like I said on Twitter. Joker 2019 is one of my favorite films. But also one of my favorite comic book related or comic book inspired films. I’ve been listening to the soundtrack(Mainly the main theme and the bathroom dance music) non stop in a way. Including right now I’m listening to the main theme right here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxRHyRXqkSc

Joker 2019 is truly one of my favorite movies this year. Maybe my favorite possibly. It is like I’ve said before a brilliant piece of a film making. 

The acting, the score, and the writing as well. Many things really shine from this film. Basically I feel the same way Film Gob feels about it in this video or so. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PH8Cw-Zd13g 

It is a dark and tragic film. But not just that, in a way it is also a thoughtful, and quite a mature film. Especially because it deals with it’s themes quite maturely and other things. Including it even felt emotional. While I didn’t shed tears at certain parts, I wanted to. Because the film does feel emotional during Arthur’s journey into becoming one of the most iconic villains in comics and pop culture. Including Batman’s arch nemesis.

While it may have only used The Killing Joke as a basis but mainly 1970′s character studies from Martian Scorsese were the inspiration for this film. But the film to me feels like it is a Joker movie. This version can definitely be how the Joker could of ended up of how he is. Besides to me personally if you want more comic accurate versions in live action. I’d recommend Jack Nicolson and Heath Ledger and just watching films like Batman 1989, and The Dark Knight. Because those two to me represent the Joker quite well if we are going with more comic accuracy. Despite some changes but it depends on how you view them.

Including I have mentioned before. I like the Joker, but before this film I wasn’t the biggest fan of him. There is nothing wrong with him as a character he just didn’t appeal to me at first. Also I know before seeing this I was praising Jack Nicolson as Joker Batman 1989. It’s just I was more of a fan of villains like Bane and Scarecrow(Which I still am) from the Batman mythos.

Yet this film got me to appreciate the Joker as a character. Which sounds kind of crazy. I basically like him even more. It is probably because of Joaquin Phoenix’ s acting as Arthur Fleck. I do praise other actors such as Heath Ledger(Another one of my favorites), Jack Nicolson, Mark Hamill, Troy Baker, and whoever else. But I feel like how many who praised actors such as Heath Ledger and Jack Nicolson with their takes on the character.

Joaquin is basically I guess is one of those interpretations I keep thinking about is the Joker. What I’m trying to say is like how in 2008 Heath was Joker to a lot of people. In a similar way Joaquin feels like my Joker of my generation. Which may sound just weird and stupid. Despite to me this is kind of like a prototype version of the Joker because this is his origin. Yes I know about the theories and what I’ve read. Yet let me keep talking.

it was mainly because of the humanity that Joaquin brought to the character compared to other versions. Including I hope people don’t hate me for saying this. During the first time of seeing the movie and even this time. Kind of like how Ping Pong Flix said. This story feels like Joker or Arthur is the hero of his own story. I felt happy for Arthur when he did the things to the people he thought that deserved it. Even towards the end and I don’t wanna spoil anything. All leading up to his transformation into the Joker.

But that’s also tragic, Arthur was a man who needed help. You felt sad for him, you wanted to help him. But society kept throwing him away and other things. A weird comparison I wanna make is to Jason Voorhees from the Friday The 13th franchise. 

You can feel sad for them, feel sympathy for them. But you can’t help them. Because they’ve gone too far. Where this may seem harsh. The only sort of peace they can have is probably death. I always wanted to mention that about Jason. Unless I did already.

Basically you don’t want him to be become the Joker and whatever else. Yet it’s gonna happen and what people have talked about. The film is kind of like a countdown(Especially if you listen to the soundtrack) to just Arthur just snapping and becoming the Joker.

I also wanted to mention what I took away from this film. Including I wanna mention in that post I talked about the possibility this film could make a billion dollars. I wanted to see this again before it could happen. Basically contribute to it more as well when I think about it.

But I edited this part out because it seemed too personal. This film made me realize I’m a pretty good person. That sounds weird but some stuff about my self esteem but don’t worry about me. 

Yet the big take away and the point of this film. Or how I see it. From what I’ve read and heard from Joaquin Phoenix yet I think I should mention Todd Phillips because I thought he said something like this too. It depends on how you view the film. I do feel like that is a double edged sword but I can be okay with that.

The point of what Joker 2019 is trying to show and from what I’ve read, a lot of people have thought this too. Is that society should be concerned and just more nice to people who don’t have it all. Have some empathy towards other human beings, and what I have thought or so.

Just be fucking kind to people. 

Basically don’t be cruel and other things. Or else and what Todd Phillips has mused about this movie of more Jokers after Arthur. If society doesn’t change of how it is. Your gonna be multiple Jokers that were like Arthur Fleck.

I also wanna say that’s why I was surprised in this reblog I made finding out that in 1980 this whole heath department thing that happened with Regan or whatever. Which made me realize no wonder this film takes place in 1981. Also other reasons as well.

Including there is also the fact Arthur had a choice with the things he did. Yet just be considerate towards others. Just show some humanity or like the film showcases you might get what you deserved. 

I just wanna say my favorite scene of the entire film or one of them. Yet it’s a scene I like and I don’t wanna spoil anything. It’s the scene with Arthur/Joker on the Murray show. The final act of this movie this third act I love. it’s a payoff and the conclusion of everything that’s happened.

The point is I seriously loved this film. I want more DC Black movies like this. Whether characters studies or whatever. But character studies is probably something I might like more. 

Yet also because I have talked about this before. I know this film is a stand alone it’s meant to be that. But with the talks from Joaquin and what he’s said. I want to see this version of Joker again, I want to see Arthur Fleck.

But I do realize the problem with that. Because if a sequel happens, it might ruin the theories and the unique thing about what the film set up to be. I think I also wanna see more because I loved watching Joaquin as this character so much. That I don’t want him to go away yet.

I have thought of a sequel idea. It’s been in development and it’s well fan fiction. But to me as I look at it. I have talked about it before. Yet to me it feels like it’s part, “This is a Oscar winning film” similar to Joker. But it’s also part comic book and well I’ll say this super hero film. Which might bother people who loved Joker 2019 so much. 

Mainly it’s the addition of too many characters I feel. Especially with certain references. But the whole point of it being while it feels like it’s the third part of a trilogy. My sequel idea so this doesn’t turn into a franchise but the DC Black Label can be a franchise thing focusing on different characters. My story idea bring a conclusion to Arthur Fleck and his journey as Joker. A epilogue for him that has Batman/Bruce Wayne as a main character as well. Both being the points of view of this story. A proper send off to Arthur Fleck as Joker.

In a well epic but deep way like the line, “This is how the Batman died” from Batman Arkham Knight. It’s a story of how the Joker died. 

I've rambled on too long. I really wanted to talk about this movie. I also wanna talk about in another post of what were my predictions of what I thought was gonna happen. Especially during my viewing of the film. There were three young girls to the left while they did talk a bit and laughed at a certain part. They seemed alright but I seemed bothered or whatever. Also a couple left during the movie, I thought I heard a child but I think it was the lady.

Including there was this mom and her kid. He seemed to be a preteen or young teenager. They left but many minutes later they came back for the third act . It was weird.....I don’t like seeing the fact children or possibly young children watched this. Sorry I’m sounding weird like because it’s R rated. Unless they know how to process it. I’m glad it wasn’t a younger kid. 

Also I felt it was cool seeing a guy who his mom and dad it seemed. They were big and the dad asked was it good, I told him it was very good and it was my 2nd time seeing it. That it was still very good or whatever. Hope they enjoyed it. I saw them after I was leaving the theater room I was and the son was holding the door opened.

That’s something I wanted to say. Especially my Uber driver who took me to the theater saw it and liked, and my Uber driver who took me home heard about it and I told him it was very good, and that it was my 2nd time. Again rambling just little moments. 

Hope you folks don’t mind my big post about this film.

[inkdrinkershadowsinger]

Thoughts/ Background The Deathly Hallows Part Two

The introduction music is so haunting. The castle in all its glory is haunted by dementors and fog. Snape is solitary. Everything is singular and empty on the grounds. The only color we see at Hogwarts during this time is during the final battle when McGonagall pushes Harry out of the way, and we see that flash of fire from her wand. That’s when you know stuff is about to kick off.

Griphook sounds so lost as to why Harry would bury Dobby. The divide between creatures and wizards, between goblins and wizards has gotten so great that neither side even thinks to assume that the other possesses even the smallest hint of kindness or humility. This is a fic all in itself.

What are the goblins stake in the sword? What is with the mention of the tiara in the books? I feel like Rowling had more to say about this topic, but for some reason she didn’t.

I hate that Fleur seems to be so meek in this movie. I want her to be this badass fighter chick, the kind of person who the Goblet of Fire would chose once again to play one of the most challenging games ever, the kind of person who would leave her country and family for an amazing opportunity and adventure, but her character wasn’t given much time or space to be free to show itself in that manner.

Wandlore is super fascinating. Is there a book about wandlore? Like a companion book like Quidditch Through the Ages? I feel like there should be.

It looks like that is a quilt patch behind Harry’s head. It would have been a gift from Mrs. Weasley.

It always bothered me that Luna was just like, “Yeah, I’m going back to school.” They just locked her butt up in the dungeons, and then she decides to go back to a school where the people who locked her up are currently in power and could torture her for information about the whereabouts of Harry Potter, the person she literally just escaped with. I think, that’s why this scene was cut from the final cut of the basic DVD versions.

Ron is so quick here to be like, “They suspect us. They suspect us.” But the silence doesn’t go on for that long. It feels like someone with such an iron gut gets antsy really quickly, and not antsy like sweating a bit, but antsy like he’s about to start crying. It just seems weird. One of the basic security measures to the bank might be that they have like a gas that leaks through that makes people feel paranoid or something like that. You want to get 200 galleons out, but what happens if you get robbed on the way out the door? Better to only get 100, thus keeping money in the bank under the goblins eyes. It would help keep out thieves as well, petty and otherwise.

None of the other goblins think that something is off with the behavior of this one goblin who seems to be in a positon of authority?

Goblins are keyed into the various vaults? Which means that they could seal them at any time as well, right? Is this in the books?

Hermione, baby, your Gryffindor is showing, and it is SEXY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lol

Those goblins are like, “Assume the fire breathing position.”

You can see how deep down they are. And I know this isn’t real, but to think that that dragon would have only had that small opening of real light shining down on it all that time is truly depressing.

Litearlly, they all deserve to bite it after what that dragon was put through.

“And he’s homicidal.”

“We plan, we get there, all hell breaks loose.” I feel that.

I always assumed that Voldemort when to Gringotts and killed the goblins. But no, he summoned them to Malfoy Manor, and then killed them. Why would he do it like that?

That mirror is rectangular, but I always envisioned the mirrors as being circular.

Why does Aberforth tell them that the Order is finished? He knows that it isn’t. This whole speech of his is very demoralizing. But Harry dgaf…..

This, “I trusted the man I knew” attitude is why Harry named one of his children Albus Severus.

Hermione is the one who asks questions of Aberforth, and yet, he directly responds to Harry. I always thought that was odd.

And Aberforth has been helping them the whole time? Then why the speech?

Neville badass Longbottom.

Another nod to the books.

I wanted some more information about what was going on in Hogwarts while Harry, Ron, and Hermione were on the run. I wanted to hear more about what Dumbledore’s Army were getting up to while the others were hunting horcruxes. There were tasters of it in the book, but I would have loved to have had more of it tbh.

Fact: Neville’s plant from five is the mascot for the Hogwart’s resistance.

“She gots lost of those, hasn’t she?” This line from Seamus at the very beginning of this movie just made it so perfect. This movie is a gosh dang masterpiece.

Snape had such a hard job. I mean, I know people hate on Snape, and I can understand their reasoning, but I have a soft spot for the man. Maybe I read too much fanfiction because fanfic!Snape and canon!Snape are two very different individuals.

Harry’s name among these students is the stuff of legend. The way they all look around and start talking carries that spark of hope that good rumors sometimes have.

Harry, “Perfect timing group.”

People back up when Harry faces Snape. People move the hell out of dodge when McGonagall draws her wand.

Snape takes out the two Carrows behind him before he apparates out of the school.

Padma gets zero dances at the Yule Ball, and then Voldemort invades her mind. Great.

Pansy, my darling, there is a time to speak and there is a time to stay silent. Read the room.

Filch, ditto.

Why do all of the magical, “evil” Slytherins allow Filch, a squib, to lock them up?

Even the portraits are getting out of there.

All the kids in the background are completely flummoxed.

“Boom!”

Say that five times fast. No, say it once without messing up and you get to be bff’s with Maggie Smith.

This spell is sick, this music is sick, McGonagall is a queen. When I saw this in theater, my skin got goose pimples. “Do your duty for our school!” It is just so amazing, and iconic. This whole scene makes me feel so empowered, and pumped like I’m about to head into battle, like I’m about to defend my home and my life.

My thoughts on the diadem and the other founders objects can be found in a post that I made. My thoughts are strong, and though they aren’t canon, they are still unspoken canon.

Voldemort is like, “I was about to monologue. Why you speaking to me?”

“You okay, Freddie?” Don’t come at me like that, writers.

We all died laughing in the theater when Ron said that. “Harry talks in his sleep.” Harry only speaking parseltongue when around snakes theory is still enforced when you think about the snake Pettigrew sneaking around the whole time.

Exactly why the fuck does Remus need Tonks more than her small child? I never understood this line, and I never liked them as a couple. Thought the book version was creepy, and the movie version unrealized.

Some movies really don’t need to be split into two for the ending *Divergent trilogy* but this one really benefitted from having two films. I wouldn’t want this huge battle scene and character plot and humor to be lost.

No one thinks to cast a spell to catch Neville??? This is like the first flying lesson all over again.

Go, Mr. Weasley, you are on fire.

Kingsley, whip their arses with that fancy shit. LET’S GO!!!!!!

Harry reached out to Ginny first. This movie is so lacking in any real chemistry between these two actors and characters that it is almost painful. This is one instance, that I never noticed before, that makes all of their other interactions less cringey to watch.

Neville almost died on that bridge. He might as well tell Luna how he feels. I love this and can fully ship canon book couples with canon movie couples at the same time. Thank you very much.

That kiss between them is so weird. I just can’t.

Hermione in this scene is proof that men rattle your brain with smooches. Lol

So, if you are using the room of requirement for something, and someone who already has been in that same room, and wants it for the same reason that you do, they can get in as well? But not if they want it for the same reason, which is why Umbridge couldn’t be get it in Order of the Phoenix.”

There are so many Easter eggs in this scene in the ROR. You can see a chess piece from 1, pixies from 2. It just enforces my headcanon that the house elves use the ROR as a sort of dumping ground for the random stuff that they find at the school.

Harry is so gosh dang blasé about seeing Draco again. He’s just like, “What’s up, dude?” He is not concerned in the slightest that he has three wands pointed at him right now. They are just causally chatting about whose wand each other has got.

The statue of the pig right behind Harry and Hermione. It would make sense Voldemort would try to totally remake Hogwarts, and I think that would go into removing those odd little things that make the castle a bit quirky. The castle looks bleak and unnaturally bland compared to the other movies. It would make sense that he would want statues of hogs also taken out.

You see the lanterns that Slughorn had at his Christmas party.

Why is the fire morphing into different animals? The phoenix attacks Draco, Blaise, and Goyle, the tiger chases Ron and Hermione, and then the snake goes after Harry. And then they all converge on the trio? Why make it animals? Is there any significance to this? I never noticed that they were actually animals before.

Finding the brooms perfect. Saving them perfect. Killing the horcrux then kicking it into the flames. Perfect.

The music while the trio are fighting to get to boat house is so haunting and lovely and it’s like it calls to every nostalgic atom in your body.

Really, death eater, you’ve got time to stop and cast the cruciatus on someone in the middle of this warzone?

I love that Hermione was the one to blast Fenrir away from Lavender. So touching.

Aberforth, Mr. IT IS ALL GOING TO END HORRIBLY WHY EVEN TRY, has enough hope and good memories to cast away that many dementors. Yeah, he’s fake.

Voldemort just doesn’t like that Snape is taller than him.

I just wanted a touch of the friendship that was expressed between Lily and Snape in the book. Harry understood it, and said it perfectly at the end of book seven. I wanted some of that to translate to screen. It wasn’t just because Snape had some weird crush on her it was because they were friends, best friends. Ron and Harry and Hermione friendship. The next time someone comes at me with that bull I’m just going to refer them back to the facts.

This is probably the first time that Snape had ever been allowed to really look at Harry as a person rather than someone who is supposed to hate him. It is the first time that he could be unguarded around him.

Snape hired more healers. Why else would they be there? He knew that with the group in charge that as in power, that they would be needed.

I can’t stand this barrage of lost souls. It is painful, and I get flashbacks from when I read the book for the first time, and the pages were covered in my tears.

It doesn’t look like Snape even has anything in this office. It looks barren. He knew he had no time to get comfortable in his position.

That tree is beautiful.

I love their friendship. I will always love their friendship.

Look at Snape and all those books. Lily and Snape, the studious, top of their year duo with the Marauders who eschew libraries but still manage to succeed. I don’t need to think hard to imagine the rivalry. In fact, I did imagine it, and wrote some down in the thing, message me if you would like part of the thing.

Hermione knew, or at least, strongly suspected that Harry was going to have to do what he sets off to accomplish, for sure.

I love that when Harry walked into the forest to face down death that he had these people, these guardians, these people who at one point or another swore to protect this boy with everything that they have get to be the ones that are with him at the end just like at the beginning. Things are different for them, and different from how they thought it would be when Harry was born into this world, but they still kept their promise.

“Does it hurt?” This is something that a child asks. We forget that Harry, here, is only supposed to be 17 years old, that’s a kid. Added to that, you have the very real

“We’re here, you see?” Perfect.

“Stay close to me?” “Always.”

My thoughts mean nothing in the perfection of this scene.

Hagrid is still looking out for Harry’s best interest. He is the only adult worth a flip in more than half of these films.

“The boy who lived come to die.”

I know Dumbledore is like, “The man” here, and the mentor or whatever, but I would have really have liked to have the person who met Harry at Kings Cross had been Snape especially after harry had just learned the truth. Way more dynamic.

Narcissa straight up lied to the most dangerous wizard ever. She deserved that pardon for her family. All she wanted was out, and to take care of her son, and I respect that. Don’t give a dang for the rest of the world when they would gladly let you burn. Take care of number one even when number one is a group instead of a single entity.

You hear that noise when Neville picks up the hat, and if you read the books, you know what he just found. He was out there preparing and scouting for another battle, and Hogwarts rewarded him.

Hagrid carrying in Harry’s body was so painful to watch. Visually, there little death parade plus the music just puts you in this anxious state. Pinpricks.

The acting by Bonnie Wright here is superb. The lack of chemistry is not equally weighted on her shoulders.

Luna looks at Draco like she is sick. Then like she is sad. I hate it. She was wishing for something else there for sure.

The way Dean Thomas looks at Voldemort in this scene is the way that I feel about that weird af hug.

Voldemort has to restrain himself from killing Neville on the spot for interrupting him.

Neville has never in the course of these movies failed to speak when needed. He stood up to the trio in 1, and he spoke up against Seamus and nearly everyone else in the common room in Ootp. Neville stands up for what is right.

All of those death eaters are like, “Fuck! This boy came back to life again? What are the Dark Lord’s AK’s broken? Nevermind, fuck this shit, I’m out.”

That music when Neville regains consciousness. YES!

See, if Voldemort didn’t play with his food, he might have won.

NOT MY DAUGHTER YOU BITCH!!!! When I say people cheered and screamed in the theater when Molly said and did this epic shit I ain’t kidding. IT WAS AND STILL IS ONE OF THE MOST ICONIC HP QUOTES OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ONE OF THE BEST, MOST EMPOWERING QUOTES!!!!!!! We all want Molly Weasley to have our backs like this.

The whole ending of this movie is LEGENDARY!!!! I went to the midnight showing for the release of this movie with a bunch of other diehards, and seeing Neville cut the head off of the snake, and watching Harry finally beat Voldemort with the elder wand. I mean, we were literally just in such a state of excitement and yes and hallelujah, it was insane.

Neville and Luna. I see y’all.

Percy is talking to Arthur, reconciling.

That guy behind Cho is definitely about to shoot his shot with someone.

Filch, bless his heart.

Ron and Hermione. Harry knows. Harry blesses this union. Harry has been the number one ship captain this whole time, and now he is rewarded.

I like that Harry snapped the wand in the movie. See, if book Harry had snapped the wand, the Cursed Child would have never graced our consciousness with its heteronormative agenda. Scorbus is life. Fight me.

This series has had such a serious impact on me. I love it. I spend hours upon hours inside of this universe every day as beloved fanfiction writers play inside of it’s territory. It made me a reader. It helped me when I wasn’t sure what was next for me in life. It gave me entertainment and enjoyment, and still does. I love it, and I hope that I always will. We cling to the thought of magic because we hope that it is really, we hope that like in this world where there is magic that cannot be easily be explained exists. We hope that in our world, too, there is that same kind of magic that can wrap itself around us.

I think that kind of magic is real. I just think that we have to look for it, remember it, talk about, cherish it, and spread it around for others who have forgotten to look for it themselves. And great literature, like this series, helps us to do that.

That is why it will be remembered for generations to come. At least, if I have anything to say about it.

[itsamiraculous]

Miraculer- A Look in on Future Episodes.

Miraculer was awesome! but I feel it was slightly overshadowed by the release of Timetagger with Bunnix. 

Don’t get me wrong! That is just as awesome also but I have things I want to say.

Miraculer follows the same plot line as Antibug. Literally. I’m sure people drew many parallels from the fact that Sabrina was akumatized again, having her and Chloe play as Chat and Ladybug and Chloe falling out with Ladybug, but there is so much more. Despite living through a previous episode again, there is a reason, and it also gives us (what I believe), a stark look in to what we can expect in the future. 

I think I will go through Miraculer and draw the parallels to Antibug and go from there.

Sabrina akumatized, one of the better ones I would argue. As Vanisher (invisible) and also as Miraculer. Of course Vanisher had a weakness; she was tangible.

Chloe and Sabrina having a falling out. Literally the same thing. Chloe takes things out on Sabrina, because she has no one else to take things out on other than herself (hurts anyone close to her. Mommy issues).

Ladybug keeping Chloe out of the loop because she is trying to protect her and other people. In Antibug, it was also Marinette holding a grudge against her and we have clearly seen that develop (i.e. Despair Bear etc). 

Chloe just wants to help and she hates being cast out. It’s what Style Queen and Queen Wasp was about. She wanted people to notice that she is extraordinary. I would argue that she wants to grow up, but she doesn’t know how. Chloe is notorious for not caring about the consequences, to other people, but when it comes to matters with Ladybug, she won’t care. I think it’s possibly because she is grateful of Ladybug saving her, but also because Chloe wants to be better.

Chat being a prompt for Ladybug to trust Chloe. Chloe was needed.

From here on out I will just mention things from both Antibug, Miraculer and other things because I think it's important.

So obviously we only saw one half of Antibug play out again, but we are left with the same premise for the other half; Chloe’s withering devotion towards ladybug.

But Chloe was upset about it. For the end of Miraculer we don't see it, only what she expressed on the surface with being defensive. It wasn't until we see Hawkmoth that she's angry and then starts crying and gets akumatized. This is what I'm slightly expecting from future episodes. The lead on from Miraculer ending up to be the loveater episodes most likely.

Again reference to one of Ladynoir turning bad. Both by Chloe being anti-bug (Heroes Day and other episodes such as Sandboy with LB being bad) and Chat going across to that side (Chat Blanc and other S1 eps like Dark Cupid with Chat being bad).

The Antibug sword comes up a lot; Sandboy, Chris Master etc. You get the picture. It is just to reference Antibug. It's a huge episode. It tells you a lot about Chloe’s story, but also Ladynoir's and clearly is used as a plot device.

It’s also fun to see the difference between how nicely Marinette treats Chloe now. She has seen the other side to Chloe and now actually wishes to see her grow. It’s really interesting. Especially when you see one of the scenes with the Superhero group, minus Sabrina. It’s a nice foreshadow in what it could look like in the future; masks on or not. Alya and Nino taking no BS from Chloe, Marinette and Chloe being able to breathe the same air. You know, all that good stuff.

It’s also interesting looking at things with Ladynoir as well. You see Ladybug noping at every advance from Chat, but it changes after she comes back from de-transforming. I think it’s because of what Tikki says; sometimes you need to listen to others. Ladybug in S1 doesn’t always listen to Chat, she comes across as arrogant, this is why we see in Antibug Chloe saying “You’re nothing without Cat Noir” and also Ladybug’s speech(es) of her and Chat being an unstoppable team, and that they work together. Also showing us Chat’s loyalty. Totally think when Marinette is saving Chat, that its key. It’s a change. In fact it’s the change. Glaciator. Marinette/Ladybug see the different side to Chat, it changes her perspective, hence why we get Tikki saying about taking other people’s advice, doing things differently and listening. After that we see Ladybug listen to Chat about where the Akuma is (Chat being observational too, working as a team and communicating better) and then proceeds to tease him!!! That is no coincidence that it happens like that. It basically shows you the change from Ladybug not seeing Chat, to now seeing him. Hence why we are suddenly getting all those smiles and sudden puns and freaking Stormy Weather 2 to show all the changes. 

Funny we get the two pigeons as well, quite interesting after seeing Timetagger. 

Miraculer, also reminded me how Marinette is the only one who doesn’t train...

Okay, arguably Adrien does and doesn’t- he does fencing, but he seems very agile without powers. Chloe we know has danced for years, Frighteningale proved that she is flexible and agile etc. Then we see Alya and Nino training together on the pier. Holy Moly that was cute. Ladynoir or Adrienette reincarnation of that scene pleeeaaaseeeeeee.

But yeah, Marinette just... doesn’t. It’s a shame because honestly.

Chloe was excellent when she went after Mayura, and also when she mentally fought off Hawkmoth. She is incredible in Miraculer. She almost took off the brooch, and she has a strong mentality in order for her not to be swayed, except of course she doesn’t fully accept what Ladybug is saying, believing that Ladybug doesn’t want to give her a proper chance. I think Marinette/Ladybug needed to word it differently, or maybe it just be them two instead of the whole team standing around. 

Secret Identities also coming back more and more. Honestly, everything in these two episodes makes me think it is laying the groundwork for Chat Blanc. I was talking with a friend and we decided it must be to do with Chat still being in the dark from everything with Master Fu. It is like Chloe’s situation; feeling like they are being left in the dark. There is also the temptation of trying to get the other to become corrupt, but they are too loyal to Ladybug. Which is why it’s hard to know what is going to happen to make Chat/Adrien go against Ladybug unless it is to do with his family situation. I don’t think it will be Ladybug’s rejection. It doesn’t fit exactly. The themes that always come up with Chat and Ladybug is her rejection or Chat feeling useless or being left in the dark. It is the exact same as Chloe. I’m wondering if Chat Blanc is actually Chat Noir Akumatized, because I honestly can’t comprehend it happening. They can make the description seem like something completely different.

Copycat comes back in both episodes “That little copycat” “Quit being a copycat”. Copycat also has a funny link. Alya says “Think of it this way. No more secrets” in response to Marinette accidentally telling Adrien. Something that Adrien was doing as Chat- explaining his feelings to LB. Not directly to Miraculer per ce, but a theme throughout that does kinda link

Something bad happening to Chat as well, concerning his own cataclysm. That’s going to be prominent one day. It also effected Plagg though, which means if he’s not careful it can damage his miraculous, like it does with Bunnix, as we are told, but that alters the timeline(????)... surely. Possibly is a hint at why/how the Peacock miraculous is damaged...

So other little things...

Ladybug more concerned over Chat, You saw her Gasp and watch him just before Chloe came in. 

As Heroes gain more allies, so do the villains. Seeing those two networks is just purely awesome.

Honestly thought Ladybug was going to do a pound it with Chloe, it would have made a difference instead of just holding out her hand for the miraculous.

Miraculer could summon the powers more than once. That’s always been a thing with most of Hawkmoth’s villains, but we know it’s now possible for proper miraculous holders to have that same power, as Hawkmoth can do it. It’s different from Antibug where Chloe has the exact same powers, only evil. All we know is that it can’t be possible for two or more at once yet.  Hawkmoth needed Catalyst to do that.

Even Hawkmoth says “We’ve set the stage for the future” 

Marinette is actually trying to be friends with Chloe... and Chloe was super close to seeing through Lila. 

List of Episodes Miraculer references: Every episode (more or less) that the Antibug sword has been used in, Every episode that has Chloe’s development (Zombizou, Despair bear! Queen’s Battle trilogy etc), Copycat, Antibug (of course), Gigantitan, Sandboy, Glaciator, Heroes Day. 

So much is going down.

Sorry if this is too long for some people. I thought of so much more, but I’ll do another post for it. I’m trying my best to cut everything down. 

[callioope]

2019 Favorites

Rules: Time to love ourselves! Choose 5 favorite works you created in the past year (fics, arts, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2019. Tag as many creators as you want to spread the love!

tagged by the awesome @theputterer​! thank you!

HA, well, TBH I saw this meme going around and I was like oh no if someone tags me I’m not going to have anything to list!

It’s true I barely published anything in 2019 -- only one thing on AO3 -- but I did work on a few unpublished projects. So after some serious scrounging, I thought why not share some sneak peeks at what I’ve got cooking in addition to the few items I did publish!

First, what I actually published:

"I hope my love was someone else’s solid ground”

Firelight flickers across the faces around the campsite and the shadows press a little closer. She’s trying not to stare (to make her staring obvious), but as her gaze sweeps over friends it always settles on him. She keeps measuring the distance, counting the steps past Bodhi and Kay or the other way ‘round, past Baze and Chirrut, to the opposite, furthest corner of tonight’s makeshift home. Always when she finds his eyes, they fall a little farther from her.

She sighs and gets up. Waiting never suited her.

I don’t think an album has ever resonated with me as much as Sara Bareilles’ Amidst the Chaos, or a song as much as “Orpheus.” It’s just perfection. The moment I heard it, I thought of Jyn and Cassian, but this song also feels special to me personally as I’ve struggled with OCD and anxiety and have (finally) been going to therapy for it. It felt cathartic to tell a story about healing through Jyn and Cassian, and I just really loved the prose in this one. I haven’t posted it to AO3 yet because I was thinking about expanding it a little first, and then I never got around to it.

Learning Curve  - Chapter 4: Scarif

“You know,” she says, sliding onto his lap, “there are better ways to show your surrender. If you want me to stop talking about work…” She leans down and demonstrates, and kriff, he tastes like the sunlight dancing on his lips, warm and sweet and happy.

“I love listening to you,” he murmurs when she finally pulls away.

She’s just sitting, safe in his arms, but when he looks at her like that, everything just falls out beneath her, and she closes her eyes and grips his shirt and burrows her head against the crook of his neck and shoulder.

Months ago, when she first stepped foot on the tarmac outside the temple, she’d thought she’d spend a semester and go back to Rudrig, that her life would continue on at its boring, lonely pace, that work would perpetually consume her. She’d never suspected she’d run into Cassian (and thank the Force for that; if she’d known he’d be here, she might not have signed up in the first place, might have preferred to avoid the risk of running into him and facing the embarrassment she’d created all those years ago—and she never would have had the chance to move past it).

She’d had no idea what kind of happiness awaited her, how close a call it had been, how she might never have known the joy of eliciting Cassian’s hard-won smile, the anticipation of an imminent kiss, or the simple satisfaction of quiet companionship and unassuming acceptance.

This took entirely longer than it should have, but I was very glad to finally finish it. It was definitely a lot of fun to imagine a galaxy with no Empire, where Palpatine was defeated before he could enact any of his crueler schemes, and to see what this meant for Jyn and Cassian as well as Lyra and Galen. It was also a challenge -- lots of moving chess pieces to account for -- so thank you to my beta and brainstormer @allatariel​!

I do have a couple regrets: namely, that I didn’t split chapter 4 into two parts (it’s just so long! I suppose I could still split it...) and that I hadn’t watched Rebels yet, so I didn’t get a chance to imagine what kind of life the Ghost crew would have had. Maybe someday? 

The Stakes of Star Wars: whatever else anything is, it ought to begin by being personal

As a writer, I frequently struggle with plot. Is it believable? Is it surprising? Is it exciting? Sometimes, it feels like plot is supposed to be what makes a story interesting. What makes for a cool adventure? The prevailing mindset seems to be: how high can you raise the stakes?

But I think over the last few years of writing, I’ve learned something important about the kinds of stories I want to read, and therefore write.

The stakes are important, but only for what they mean to the character.

It has to be personal.

It’s no secret that I hated TLJ. I wasn’t impressed with TROS, either. I think it’s easy (and, admittedly, cathartic) to point blame at one or the other and to write a laundry list of “things didn’t work for me” (which I did for TLJ -- though I only finished and published part of it). When it came to the final installment, I thought it was more fruitful for me to analyze the core of what didn’t work for me overall. I won’t deny there are things I did love about the sequel trilogy, but as a whole, trilogy-spanning story it really fails for me, and this is my attempt at finding out why.

Now, onto the unpublished projects!!!

Untitled “You’ve Got Mail” AU

Somewhere in a far corner of the Outer Rim, off the far reaches of the Perlemian Trade Route, past Felucia, near the Tion Hegemony, a small planet spins on its axis, and a new day starts.

As the sun rises, it conveys a whole palette of colors: rich reds bleeding into the purple and indigo of the fading night, gold light gleaming over the flat fields of blue-green grass spreading out in all directions.

Nothing stirs but a gentle breeze, racing along the grass like a wave; to the naked eye, this area of the planet remains entirely uninhabited.

And that is the point.

To a careful observer, someone with an eye for it, the grassy flatlands and the gentle rolling hills of Skuhl hide something valuable and just as beautiful as its surface. Such an observer could find it: the narrow crack in the ground; the cramped ten-meter vertical descent into the jagged earth; the winding, sloped passage that eventually blooms into a split-level cavern that might fit a squadron of X-Wing fighters—if they had a way in.

As it is, that cavern houses something else: the Skuhl rebel cell.

And in a little area partitioned off by a series of columns, stalactites, and stalagmites on one side and a makeshift counter, sink, and shelving on the others, Jyn Erso wakes to the sound of the caf machine whirring.

Groaning, she lifts her head from the table and blinks in the soft light of a lantern hanging off the shelf behind her.

“Good morning,” Hadder says, from next to the raucous caf machine. “You’ve got a message.”

AHHH I forgot how much I love this AU. I haven’t opened this in a few months. YEAH, I’ve got some purple prose going there, but I was really trying to imitate the opening of You’ve Got Mail, how it pans down into NYC and such. I got really stuck on this trying to write Jyn and Cassian’s correspondence (the whole point TBH, smh). Otherwise, this is all plotted out (again, thanks to the amazing @allatariel​‘s help) and I just need to write it. Currently has 4,294 words.

Fencing AU (Working title is probably “En Garde”)

Jyn holds a blade for the first time when she is eight years old. It’s shiny and makes a fun clang when she smacks Bodhi’s sword. She’s been watching him from the corner, while she waits for Bodhi’s lesson to finish and for Mama and Papa to pick them up from the YMCA. Saw doesn’t teach children, he already explained. Saw wants serious students. 

So Jyn watches Bodhi stand in front of the mirror covering the far wall and watches him hold his blade in different positions (four, six, seven, eight — she heard Saw name each one). She watches him flick his wrist and smack Saw’s blade (beat, she repeats in her head) and watches him turn his wrist and push Saw’s blade away when he attacks first (parry).

She watches this go on for an hour, and afterwards, when Saw looks away to talk to some of the parents, she knicks a spare blade and a spare mask and dares Bodhi to fight her. 

It doesn’t take long for one of the parents to point her out (adults can never be trusted). But she doesn’t see it at first, too busy stabbing Bodhi, or trying to — she’s sure she’s hit him plenty on his arm, because she’s reenacted that laser sword fight from Space Clash enough times to know how it’s done.

“Jyn,” Saw says behind her, “What are you doing?”

She whirls around, staring up at Saw through the grated black mesh of the mask. He’s looking down at her, arms crossed, and he sounds mad. But she doesn’t look away or back down, even though he’s really tall and sometimes the other kids get scared when he’s angry. (She doesn’t. She’s not scared of anything.)

“Fencing,” she says. 

Saw stares back at her for forever, and she gives back an eternity because she plays this game all the time. She can win.

What she doesn’t know then, but Saw does, is that she will win.

He shakes his head. “Not like that,” Saw says.

“But I can fence,” Jyn says, “I can be serious.”

“Serious fencers,” Saw says, “aim for the heart.”

That stops her next words. She glances at Bodhi for a second, who shrugs, and then back at Saw. 

“Ready?” he says, gesturing for them to continue. “Allez!”

Oh, if I had all the time to write, I would finish this before the Olympics... I guess I still have half a year. Maybe it can still happen!! As it is, I don’t actually have much more of this written (just plotted). I fenced for five years at the local YMCA, plus just a little in college (sadly my university didn’t have a team, so I could only fence when I was able to get back home). I miss it dreadfully. Every now and then I dabble in researching clubs down here to fence, but it is so expensive and time consuming. So much to do! So little time! So I thought I’d just write about it to scratch that itch. Basically the gist is that Jyn is an Olympic fencer, and she fences foil (because that was my weapon and I’m incredibly biased) while Cassian fences epee. Aaaand look at that, now I’m rambling on about fencing. (I’d give y’all lessons if I could, do not get me started) On to the next! 

Nat Geo AU

“You seem quiet,” Cassian says quietly, still reading what she’d refer to as a tentative draft of their piece.

She shrugs.

His eyes flick up to her face just briefly and he misreads the regret on her face. “Do you miss it? Your time with Saw?”

She’s startled into a laugh. “You mean war correspondence?”

His nod is almost imperceivable, but he knows she pays close attention.

“No,” she says, perplexed.

“Not as much action out here.”

He’s worried she’s bored. As if she could be, at his side. “I almost had to wrestle a crocodile for your life yesterday.”

He grants her just the tiniest crook of a smile. “I was safe in the boat.”

“That croc was sizing you up,” she says, thinking of a large crocodile that they’d thought had been resting serenely on the river bank, before it suddenly splashed into the water right next to their boat, towards Cassian’s perch at the railing. “I saw the glint in its eye. I know the look.”

“I’m sure you do.” He snorts. Then he gestures towards her pad, where he’s highlighted a phrase. “This one — for the headline.”

She takes it and reads what he’s chosen. “You know it depends on what Kay likes.”

“He’ll like that one.”

The premise is that Jyn and Cassian work for National Geographic (or rather, Rogue Geographic) and are assigned to cover a conservation project headed by Ezra Bridger and the crew aboard the Ghost. I’ve only managed to write an intro scene about Jyn and Cassian finishing up their previous project (entirely, entirely self-indulgent and based on my honeymoon). I was hoping to finish and publish this in January, buuuut I got way distracted by an epic post-war fic that @allatariel​ and I are working on, which I think we may have started plotting in 2019, though I’m not sure -- and at any rate, the NatGeo brings us to six so you’ll just have to wait for the next word on that ;) 

 WELP THAT’S IT. 

Thanks for reading! 

TAGGING: Anyone who reads this and wants to do it. Yeah, you. You who were hoping you got tagged? I’m tagging you. You’re it!

[queensparklekitten]

My Preteen Minecraft YouTube Life

I decided to randomly go off about this. 

Most kids watching Minecraft on YouTube decide to watch 20-minute-long Let’s Plays of famous YouTubers doing things on servers. I didn’t have the time or patience for that, although I did enjoy parkour videos. My brother was a different story, he only watched those kinds of videos (and he would always idolize and obsess over one YouTuber in particular while overlooking all others. Which YouTuber he idolized changed every month or so.) 

Meanwhile, I was over there watching shorter videos. Machinimas, mostly. 

Music videos were my jam. I made an entire playlist on the family Deezer account comprised entirely of Minecraft parodies. I had memorized tons of music videos, I still know the words to everything on that playlist. 

Minecraft Jams in particular was my fave for Minecraft songs and music videos, especially because those videos told stories. The Hacker trilogy was cool, Little Square Face was always a major highlight (the song Destiny remains a perfect example of top-tier badassery), I tuned in whenever another Castle Raid video was uploaded, and songs like I’ll Be There, Diamond Sword, Hunger Games, and Hack Chop Bang were watched and re-watched religiously. But the biggest part of Minecraft Jams that I loved was Psycho Girl. 

Psycho Girl was my LIFE as a pre-teen. I worshiped the ground she walked on. My school notebooks contained fanart of her and her squad. I screamed when a new video was uploaded. I constantly tried to imitate her moves, both dance and combat. When playing PVP on servers, I have a memory of, at least once, typing lyrics from Psycho Girl music videos in the chat. When her videos became a multi-part story with a plot line, I checked every day for a new one. I screamed with excitement when one of the videos took a potshot at the haters. I idolized her little sister nearly as much, although said sister mostly took on monsters and villagers (which I thought of as training, with her sister as the coach). I came up with fanfics in my head of her and her little sister fighting together, as she trains her younger sister to fight as well as she does. I tried to dress up as her once. I even made fancomics (but I hid them). If you dissed Psycho Girl, you were dead to me, and that’s if you’re lucky. But I didn’t mind that she got hate, because I knew those guys were either jealous of her incredible PVP skills, or scared of her, and either way, they could never hope to match a girl who, in the music videos, is shown to defeat hackers and pro YouTubers without even all that much armor. (although the armor is diamond and enchanted, she often has a helmet and chestplate at most). 

(my brother did not share my worship for Psycho Girl. He watched over my shoulder, called her dance moves cheesy, and asked what hacks she was using.) 

I still have all the lyrics to many Minecraft Jams songs memorized to this day. 

Aside from Minecraft Jams, I was also an enormous fan of Willcraft Animations’ Monster School. There were many monster school videos out there, but the only good ones are the OG Minecraft Monster School series by Willcraft. I watched the compilation of the videos almost every day. I actually made a one-person real-time fandub of the crafting one, where I played the video on YouTube using my computer, used the iPad to video record it, and provided dialogue for every character. I don’t know what a real time fandub was at the time, but I still have the video. 

I also still have all my fancomics and fanfics of that series, and I still reread them. I frequently went on the Willcraft fandom wikia and memorized fun facts about all the characters. I had too many headcanons to count, and I still remember every single one. (the amount of headcanons i had made my take on Minecraft Monster School a lot more complex and world-built than it ever was in canon. I even connected it to the other monster school videos that weren’t made by Willcraft, by deciding that those were different campuses and every now and then there was inter-school competitions). I also imagined and drew up scenarios such as: interviews with the characters, journals written from their POV, I drew a superlative page like in a school yearbook with everyone there, there was a lot more. 

I still love Willcraft Animations’ Monster School. Sometimes I rewatch them, and I remember every word of the dialogue that I imagined in. Also, the minute I find that fancomic I made of Endie absolutely DESTROYING that bastard Zupay in combat, I will post it. It was so cathartic, I loved drawing it. 

I did follow some more famous Minecraft YouTube channels, most notably ExplodingTNT. Did I mention earlier that Minecraft machinimas were my favourite thing to watch? And here we’ve got funny, 4-minute-long videos about ridiculous scenarios in Minecraft. I would spend hours binge-watching ExplodingTNT compilations religiously. I had a favourite background track that played in machinimas. There was videos I had bookmarked on my browser. I dreamed of making my own Minecraft machinima someday. 

It wasn’t just ExplodingTNT, however. I also loved to watch Orepros, and a few others that I can’t recall the names right now but I’d know them instantly if I saw them. 

My love for ExplodingTNT spawned my Pink Sheep phase, which in hindsight was kind of cringey. But I really enjoyed it at the time, and I had a tendency to “lolololololol” out loud, dance to the original ending-of-video theme song (which I have to admit, goes hard), and I once wore a fake mustache because PINK SHEEP. 

You know what, I’m not gonna go all cringe culture on myself. Many of the jokes/memes used in PinkSheep videos may be dead now, but they weren’t at the time, and it was a massive source of entertainment for me. There is no harm that comes of a little 12-year-old girl writing #PranksterGangsterNation in the snow on the windows of strangers’ cars on the way to school. That 12-year-old girl was me and I unashamedly loved every minute of it. 

And okay, yes, I wrote a short pink sheep fan fiction in the notes on my phone. 

And I never deleted that fan fiction. My 12-year-old self would have been devastated!!

I guess when ExplodingTNT got more repetitive and every single video was suddenly “If A _____ Bar Was Added”, and PinkSheep began playing a lot of games other than Minecraft, was when watching those two became less frequent. Monster School, meanwhile, showed no signs of ever updating again, but I was fine with that because the amount we had was worth it. And with my SGE sisters taking up my Internet time, eventually YouTube was frequented less and less until it stopped being a major factor in my life. But I still go back and watch those videos every now and then for the sheer nostalgia factor. 

Other highlights of my preteen minecraft youtube life include: 

-Minecraft Zoo by Swimmingbird-i-forget-the-numbers. Those 4 videos were a highlight of my youtube life, I have almost all of it memorized, and I lived in constant fear of them being deleted someday. The biggest mystery of my childhood was how the creator prevented the endermen from teleporting away. 

-Epic Rap Battles Of Minecraft. I have the entire Creeper VS Enderman one memorized and I can rap the whole thing perfectly, as I demonstrated summer 2019 around the campfire. 

-”_____ things you didn’t know about (Minecraft/some Minecraft item or mob)”. I watched those a lot to see if I could actually learn anything. I never did, because I already knew every single thing in those videos. I’m sorry, MagmaMusen, but I already knew all those things your video title said I didn’t know. (although the mooshroom one was amazing because Magma ran out of facts halfway through, put something obvious, and then gave up on fun facts, named a mooshroom “Boring” and stated “naming a mooshroom Boring does absolutely nothing, because that’s what it is”, and then proceeded to blow up 50 mooshrooms for the sake of attempting to make the video more interesting. That is my favourite MagmaMusen video by far. God tier video making.) 

-sometimes I did watch parkour and adventure map videos. While I was mostly uninterested in 20-minute videos of someone else on a server (who the hell has that attention span?) unless it was pink sheep, parkour and adventure maps were interesting enough to watch, and besides, it wasn’t just people showcasing their awesome PVP and building skills. I watched those with my brother every now and then. It wasn’t nearly as often as everything else, but it was a thing I did. 

[wackygoofball]

Moodboard: Jaime x Brienne - Lord of the Rings AU

One would think that peace was finally agreed upon after the One Ring was cast into the fires from which it was born. And for a long time, Middle Earth was a place of peace and prosper. And yet, it did not last.

Lines that were believed to last a thousand years failed against the ravages of time, dried in the sand and gave rise to those driven by darker forces, by vanity, ambition, and a thirst for power.

The Targaryens assumed dominion after they discovered a way to tame one of the gravest calamities Middle Earth ever saw: dragons. They took over the city of Gondor quickly and continued their rule for many, many generations. Not all were bad kings and queens. Some were good. Some not so good. Some were worse. Far worse. And then, the Dance of the Dragons came to pass, which marked the ongoing decay of a family that had since grown too obsessed with the purity of its own blood. The dragons died, one by one, but the Targaryen’s power remained intact.

After that, the madness spread much faster, festered like an old wound, only fate deciding over it by no more than the flip of a coin, or so people started to believe.

Then Aerys Targaryen took the throne. Over time, he had his pyromancers develop an even worse weapon than the Fire of Orthanc, which once was used during the Battle of Hornburg, a green liquid soon to be known as wildfire. And Aerys, as fate would have it, used it against the people he was sworn to protect, burned them alive, just to hear them scream for a mercy that never came.

However, the Age of Dragons came to an end when a young member of the Army of Gondor, who was part of the chosen circle Aerys coined his own Kingsguard, a man by the name Jaime Lannister, drove a sword through Aerys’s back.

And where one reign ends another begins.

Robert Baratheon took the throne after him and became the new King of Gondor. Sooner rather than later, the crimes of the Mad King became no more than a whisper in the dark, stories told to children to scare them into slipping under the covers to finally go to sleep.

Though it was never just a story.

It was only the beginning of something that should keep every man, woman, and child, every elf, every dwarf, and every hobbit in all of Middle Earth wide awake.

Because history, or so it seems to be, is always on the verge of repeating itself.

However, our story begins elsewhere, in the small town called Bree, at an establishment known as The Prancing Pony.

Disgraced wizard Tyrion is sipping his second jug of ale, waiting with all patience he can muster. Not that he prides himself being on time. He found that it’s much easier to assume that he is on time for the sole reason that he will appear wherever he sees fit when he sees fit.

That doesn’t mean he likes to be kept waiting, however.

“I suppose I am right to assume that this is not your first?”

Tyrion smiles as he turns around to see the familiar bulky, blond figure stride past him, one hand always resting on the pommel of a sword.

He smiles. “It’s been a long time since we last saw one another, Lady Brienne.”

“You are not supposed to call me that in public, Wizard.”

“My pardon, Captain Galladon,” he laughs. “But rest assured, no one around here cares for who you are. The Prancing Pony is not exactly the place known for offering shelter to the most virtuous of Middle Earth. They would be fools to report to anyone. Even more so because it would be quite a ride all the way to Gondor.”

The mannish woman studies him for a long moment, but then sighs as she unbuckles her sword and sets it down next to her with a thud.

“So. Why did you have me summoned all the way to here, Wizard? You know I don’t like to leave my post for longer than is necessary.”

“Acutely aware, yes. You are very devoted to your service, of that there is no doubt.”

“What do you want?”

“I want to make you an exception offer, in fact.”

“Offer.”

“Yes, to take part in an adventure. You were chosen as one of the members of my company in pursuit of no less than saving Middle-Earth. This mission will involve a great deal of fighting. There is no guarantee of success. And no one must know about it. But of that I assure you, Captain, this is a quest of utmost honorable intentions.”

“And what is that mission supposed to be, may I ask, Wizard? I have a city to defend, and no time to undergo some adventure.”

“I need your help to gather some items across Middle-Earth. My brother over there will join us as well. And some more fellows,” Tyrion informs her. “I know he tries hard to look broody and mysterious, but he is a jolly fellow once you get to know him a bit.”

He waves at the cloaked man, who gets up slowly to stride over to the table. Brienne tilts her head as light illuminates the man’s features even under the hood, and she cannot help but gasp, “The Kingslayer?”

Jaime grimaces at the strange fellow he watched from across the room at his brother’s behest. “Is that… is that a woman?”

“Oh, I see you two will get along wonderfully! The fascination, I see, is absolutely mutual.”

“You must be joking, Wizard. Or perhaps you had some mushrooms on your way here, but I can only repeat it: I have better to do than this.”

“In fact, you do not. None of us do. The fate of Middle-Earth, I am afraid, is at stake here. Why else do you think would I bring my brother into this? Even more so since he is actually… dead.”

“For most to know,” Jaime huffs. And inside his heart, he only ever adds to himself.

Brienne remains reluctant to undertake this quest, but the Wizard is the only one, well, now one of two, who knows of her secret identity. And she cannot be revealed as anyone other than Galladon, or else all sacrifices she made to become part of the Army of Gondor will be in vain.

In the safety of Tyrion’s chamber, he reveals the details of his motivation to undertake this adventure.

“Rumors have since become more than rumors. The cast out daughter and only living heir to Aerys Targaryen, Daenerys Stormborn, is out to reclaim what she believes is her birthright.”

“She wants to be Queen of Gondor.”

“Yes. In the dead fire pits of Mordor, a new and perhaps even darker power rose in the shape of the Night King who turned to ice what once was blazing fire. I have seen the Mount Doom, I travelled there and saw that the fires died out.”

“What?”

“The Night King and Daenerys Stormborn made a contract of sort, it appears, wherein he will revive three dragon eggs from stone, her children, as she says, so she may rule in Gondor. In exchange, she is meant to help him free the armies of the fallen in Mordor so they may march westward.”

“And how do you think can that be stopped?”

“I found a scroll, an ancient text that says that there is a way to defeat the eternal ice with the aid of two magical swords made of Valyrian steel, which, combined, will form Lightbringer, a blade that may slay the Night King and thus end his reign of terror before it can even begin.”

“That still leaves one question, though: why do you want me for that quest? I can’t help you with those magical items better than any other knight with my skills could.”

“Because we need to get into Gondor, as part of what is needed to forge Lightbringer. You will well know that I am no longer… wanted there… for a number of reasons. And to make matters worse, as you will know better than anyone, there is the issue of the barricade no one without your consent will move past. And if I may add, you have proven more capable than most knights I ever came across. You have a particular set of skills I believe vital to the success of our mission, Lady Brienne.”

At last, Brienne agrees, under the pretense that they will speak the truth to one another and that the Kingslayer, a man of questionable morals to say the least, remains as far away from her as is possible.

“I am doing this for the greater good, not for either one of you.”

To disguise her identity as Galladon, she has to travel as herself, cutting short the hair she used to wear longer as Captain of the Army of Gondor, a sensation that since grew unfamiliar to Brienne, who barely recalls the girl who liked wooden swords as much as she liked to twirl in a dress around her father’s halls, unaware and childishly uncaring of how ridiculous she looked to the rest of the world.

Jaime, for his part, has to come to terms with travelling with a man, pardon, woman, of the Army of Gondor, a responsibility and honor he had to abandon in favor of his own life when he became the Kingslayer. Though no one, safe for Tyrion, would even begin to comprehend why he did it, why he slew the Mad King.

It was his finest act, but history, more often than not, will forget its heroes until its concluding chapters.

And so, the small company begins its quest in search for Lightbringer, a journey that soon proves dangerous as the undead Dothraki riders of Daenerys Targaryen start to chase them as well as the items they are so desperate to obtain.

Along the way, they meet a great many interesting characters, some friendly, others not so much, sharing, in fact, in a great adventure. Yet, the impending threat of the Dragon Queen as well as the Night King may not be the only danger ahead of them, as secrets and lies may put them apart when they must stand together.

As their success hangs by a single thread, so does the fate of the world, just about to flip the coin another time.

And one can only hope that history, for once, does not forget itself and learns from its errors, so there may be a tomorrow, so there may be light.

Note: my knowledge of the franchise is mostly limited to the movies, not the books, alongside some good old google search. No offense to LOTR fans intended in case I mess up timelines and such! Also... sorry for weird edits, I could not resist. :)

Additional Image Sources: The Lord of the Rings trilogy & The Hobbit trilogy.

[kaylewiswrites]

My Works in Progress

I have too many, but this is just a quick update on my various works so you can see what you might be interested in, and I can remember all of them. Let me know if you want to join any of the tag lists! 

Walk

My main WIP and what you’ll see most often, Walk is an action/adventure trilogy in a near dystopian future transformed by the accidental release of a ‘virus’ that grants superhuman abilities to certain members of the population. While hundreds are captured and contained, some manage to escape into the forest, where a chance encounter shows that the hate and mistreatment of the infected aren’t based in fear, but greed. A band of unlikely heroes must overcome their different backgrounds, world views, and senses of morality to work together and stop the mistreatment of those like them. 

Check it out if you’re into... Found family! Super powers! Dismantling systematic oppression! Strong female characters that have personalities! Morally gray characters! 

WIP Page | Excerpt |  Tag List: @aruzeus @madammuffins

Cold Bones Dance

Started as a Nano Project, now my favorite distraction. A magical realism novel where unsatisfied skeletons rise from the dead to complete their unfulfilled purpose-if the moth memory keepers can help them figure out what it is. Being a skeleton is never easy in the best of times, but when this one rises, the moths can’t even figure out his name, let alone his story. Pared with the prickliest moth of them all, the Skeleton must find a way to convince a grieving witch to use her powers to help him. Making his journey harder? A Holly Tree (Whose Name Is Death) won’t stop trying to tempt him back underground, and a stray dog who really, really wants to chew on his leg. 

Check it out if you’re into... Hopeful takes on grief! Slightly dark comedy! Slice of Life world building! Subtle magic! The calm use of passive voice! Small bay-side towns! 

I....have yet to make a WIP Page for this. But here’s the Tag, where there are some summaries and excerpts for it  | Tag list: @ren-c-leyn 

Knifepoint

I’m really not good at naming my action/adventures, am I? In this created world, three countries are constantly on the brink of war. While in a time of peace, everyone knows its only a matter of time before one country attacks. When three unintentional representatives from these countries collide (quite literally) and discover a plot to sow conflict and restart the centuries old war, the spy, the healer, and the blacksmith have to overcome their differences, prejudices, and language barriers to do what they know is right.  

Check it out if you’re into...Created countries that don’t count as fantasy because there’s no magic! Political intrigue! Linguistics! Enemies to found family to lovers! Romantic tension between two women sword fighting! 

WIP Page | Excerpt 

The Forgotten Grave Society

In a small town in a small state, on the first day of summer vacation, three girls find themselves in a graveyard. After discovering they all share the same pull towards the quite, peaceful place, they agree to meet there every day, to remember the long forgotten graves and learn about one another. But it turns out the graveyard holds a secret. Spend too much time with the dead, and you might just start to see them. An artist, an athlete, and a scientist must use their skills to save the ghosts-and themselves. 

Check it out if you’re into...Young girls with a variety of skills working together! Various theories of the afterlife! Lighthearted conversations about dead people! Some pleasantly creepy moments! Talks about the difficulty of navigating middle school! Ghosts! 

WIP Page | Excerpt | If you had asked to be tagged in this in the past, I’m sorry! I lost that tag list with my last notebook, let me know if you want back on. 

The House with Too Many Doors

Magic can only be found when someone makes such an impossible series of mistakes that it’s discovery become inevitable. Such is the luck of Avi, who gets lost in a forest and stumbles on a strange house: A tall skinny barn with 3 doors on each side. Avi soon learns from it’s inhabitant that each door opens up a completely different house, and one of them could release a danger that has been locked away for years. 

Check it out if you like...Middle grade magic! Creative use of architecture! Emotional health strategies! Gender neutral characters! Monster fighting! 

This one also lacks a WIP page. We’re getting there. In the meantime, have the tag. | Let me know if you want to join the tag list! 

God on a Blank Page 

Welcome to the distant future, where all information is taught through recorded lectures on headphones, writing is dead, and cathedrals were emptied to make room for the gods of the dominant polytheistic religion. When the sullen daydreamer is forced to go to temple with her family, she spends her time in the abandoned alcove of the blank-faced god, the god of nothing anyone can figure out. She assumes she’s safe there, to pursue her ‘what-ifs’ in peace, but when the god starts talking with her, she finds she has work to do. 

Check it out if you like...Southern Gothic Futurism! The rediscovery of creativity! Learning to think from other people’s points of view! Unreliable narrators! Cryptic whisper gods! 

What’s that? Another missing WIP page? I’ll get right on it, here’s the tag. | Be the first on the tag list, when a special prize! (the prize is a huge thank you in all caps)

I’m always open to questions, comments, or criticism, so stop by my ask page if you’d like. If you also want to check out the characters of (some) of these WIPs, my character page is here. 

[awkward-toshinori]

Hey Yo, can I get all 200 asks for the ask meme thing? Please and thank you!

Absolutely

200: My crush’s name is:

Horia

199: I was born in:

Romania

198: I am really:

friendly and trustworthy

197: My cellphone company is:

Digi

196: My eye color is:

Aqua Blue

195: My shoe size is:

7,5

194: My ring size is:

20?? hell if i know tbh

193: My height is:

5′7

192: I am allergic to:

nothing

191: My 1st car was:

I can’t drive yet!!

190: My 1st job was:

No jobs yikes :c

189: Last book you read:

Sword of Destiny!!

188: My bed is:

messy and full of plushies

187: My pet:

no pets but ahh  my baby plant

186: My best friend:

I’ve got tons of them and I’m pretty sure they know themselves

185: My favorite shampoo is:

ah I don’t really have any preferences

184: Xbox or ps3:

*big gasp* ps3

183: Piggy banks are:

They’re superb but I would feel so bad about wrecking one

182: In my pockets:

Glasses tissues

181: On my calendar:

uh there’s nothing noted yet

180: Marriage is:

Something quiet amazing and lovely, at least from my point

179: Spongebob can:

aww man I don’t watch spongebob

178: My mom:

is shorther than me, that’s for sure

177: The last three songs I bought were?

I didn’t buy any songs but I did buy albums and the last three I bought I suppose were Aenima by tool, Portrait of An American Familly by Marilyn Manson and Slipknot by Slipknot, I think

176: Last YouTube video watched:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4q9UafsiQ6k

175: How many cousins do you have?

2 or 3 I think

174: Do you have any siblings?

Yes, one

173: Are your parents divorced?

nope

172: Are you taller than your mom?

yes B)

171: Do you play an instrument?

Not yet but I’m planning on getting a bass so

170: What did you do yesterday?

I went to a cool concert

169: Love at first sight:

not rlly

168: Luck:

nope

167: Fate:

also no

166: Yourself:

no *oops doopsie I’m sorry*

165: Aliens:

yes

164: Heaven:

nah

163: Hell:

no

162: God:

nopety

161: Horoscopes:

not really

160: Soul mates:

hmm  a bit

159: Ghosts:

no

158: Gay Marriage:

157: War:

not really

156: Orbs:

not really  :/

155: Magic:

no but I find it interesting154: Hugs or Kisses:

hugs

153: Drunk or High:

I personally wouldn’t go for any of those but drunk ig

152: Phone or Online:

online

151: Red heads or Black haired:

black haired

150: Blondes or Brunettes:

ah, blondes

149: Hot or cold:

cold

148: Summer or winter:

winter

147: Autumn or Spring:

spring

146: Chocolate or vanilla:

vanilla

145: Night or Day:

night

144: Oranges or Apples:

oranges

143: Curly or Straight hair:

straight

142: McDonalds or Burger King:

McDonalds

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate:

White Chocolate

140: Mac or PC:

PC

139: Flip flops or high heals:

flip flops

138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor:

sweet and poor tbh

137: Coke or Pepsi:

coke

136: Hillary or Obama:

Obama??!!

135: Burried or cremated:

cremated

134: Singing or Dancing:

singing

133: Coach or Chanel:

coach

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks:

I uh, none

131: Small town or Big city:

big city

130: Wal-Mart or Target:

I had never went to one though Wal-Mart

129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler:

Adam Sandler

128: Manicure or Pedicure:

Manicure

127: East Coast or West Coast:

East Coast

126: Your Birthday or Christmas:

Christmas

125: Chocolate or Flowers:

flowers

124: Disney or Six Flags:

disney

123: Yankees or Red Sox:

Yankees

122: War:

I uh personally don’t agree with them and uh dunno

121: George Bush:

Don’t have one yet

120: Gay Marriage:

I find it lovely but too sad it’s not legal here so

119: The presidential election:

Quiet stinky as in no good choices

118: Abortion:

See this topic rips itself in two, if it’s intentionally done I personally think it’s the worst thing to do but that someone can do whatever they want, it’s their body after all, though if it happens and it’s not intended just, big sad react

117: MySpace:

I don’t have an opinion on it

116: Reality TV:

I don’t really watch it nor like it

115: Parents:

I would’ve appreciated if my parents showed me more support and love but not that I have anything against our type of relationship at the moment so

114: Back stabbers:

I totally not like them so I choose to cut contact with them 

113: Ebay:

It’s fine till now

112: Facebook:

I’m not a big fan of Facebook

111: Work:

If it’s something I love, it makes me feel good but if it’s not it kind of brings a feeling of uneasy and frustration to me

110: My Neighbors:

They’re chill, the baby and the puppy are my favorites 

109: Gas Prices:

kinda shitty here

108: Designer Clothes:

They can design what they want however they want, this is not really a topic of interest for me

107: College:

I can’t wait to get to it ngl

106: Sports:

Not one of my interests but they do look fun

105: My family:

I tolerate them easily but yeah I love them

104: The future:

Other than that I’m scared as hell regarding the future? nah

103: Hugged someone:

Eh!! Today!!

102: Last time you ate:

7 hours ago??

101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile:

Oh last week I think

100: Cried in front of someone:

U H, yesterday

99: Went to a movie theater:

last thursday

98: Took a vacation:

last Christmas

97: Swam in a pool:

last summer

96: Changed a diaper:

never tbh

95: Got my nails done:

OH, it’s been ages since I’ve done that

94: Went to a wedding:

4 years ago

93: Broke a bone:

never nyehehe B)

92: Got a peircing:

I don’t have any but planning on getting some

91: Broke the law:

never

90: Texted: 

minutes ago

89: Who makes you laugh the most:

tbh, my friends

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is:

my stuff but mostly my baby plant

87: The last movie I saw:

Captain MArvel

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most:

finishing high school

85: The thing im not looking forward to:

Missing upcoming opportunities

84: People call me:

Satana(I have the perferct explanation)

83: The most difficult thing to do is:

talk in servers or groups tbh

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket:

Oh I’d feel terrible and embarassed tbh

81: My zodiac sign is:

LEo

80: The first person i talked to today was:

my boyfriend

79: First time you had a crush:

in 5th grade

78: The one person who i can’t hide things from:

My boyfriend.. because he knows when something’s up with me or if something’s not good

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking:

hmmm weeks ago I think

76: Right now I am talking to:

@angelwings-234

75: What are you going to do when you grow up:

be a programmer 

74: I have/will get a job:

I hope to get one as a programmer in the future (though hell If I know what exactly yet)

73: Tomorrow:

I’ll probably hope for school to end faster just so I can nap

72: Today:

I haven’t done much tbh

71: Next Summer:

Will be so busy and I’m so not up to it

70: Next Weekend:

I’ll be going to a cool ass contest

69: I have these pets:

I have a baby plant!!!

68: The worst sound in the world:

static noise

67: The person that makes me cry the most is:

myself?? sounds a bit edgy

66: People that make you happy:

all the close friends in my life and some artists along with stuff I enjoy a lot

65: Last time I cried:

yesterday

64: My friends are:

There are too many to list them but luv them all

63: My computer is:

full of games that I’m probably not going to finish in the following 2 months

62: My School:

kinda sucks when it comes to students

61: My Car:

does not exist yet

60: I lose all respect for people who:

who are rude and big mean bags of shit?? I could detail this but dunno

59: The movie I cried at was:

Interstellar 

58: Your hair color is:

blonde

57: TV shows you watch:

SOA, Gotham when my bf watches it and I don’t really like TV shows though I have some on my waiting list

56: Favorite web site:

https://www.pbinfo.ro/

55: Your dream vacation:

just, somewhere around a forest, it’d be quiet lovely ngl

54: The worst pain I was ever in was:

tooth pain

53: How do you like your steak cooked:

a bit raw tbh

52: My room is:

ass messy as me

51: My favorite celebrity is:

uhhh Corey Taylor

50: Where would you like to be:

Right now?? At my bf, if it wouldn’t bother him..

49: Do you want children:

ABsolutely

48: Ever been in love:

still am ig

47: Who’s your best friend:

I have too many but love them all so much

46: More guy friends or girl friends:

I have more guy friends apparently 

45: One thing that makes you feel great is:

achieving something

44: One person that you wish you could see right now:

All of my best-friends tbh

43: Do you have a 5 year plan:

I do

42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die:

Not yet and I doubt I’d do it

41: Have you pre-named your children:

me and my bf came up with some names but who knows

40: Last person I got mad at:

My bf i think

39: I would like to move to:

another city in my country, a much bigger one

38: I wish I was a professional:

artist

37: Candy:

Haribo

36: Vehicle:

Renault or Dacia

35: President:

don’t really have one

34: State visited:

I haven’t been to any at all

33: Cellphone provider:

Digi

32: Athlete:

I don;t have one yikes

31: Actor:

Hmm Benicio Del Toro

30: Actress:

I like some but I don’t have a favorite one

29: Singer:

Peter Steele, his voice is simply, lovely

28: Band:

Ohhh anon Tool and Cargo atm

27: Clothing store:

I don’t have a fav one

26: Grocery store:

any??

25: TV show:

Sons Of Anarchy

24: Movie:

The Alien trilogy

23: Website:

Twitter I think

22: Animal:

Cat

21: Theme park:

I don’t really have one

20: Holiday:

Christmas

19: Sport to watch:

ski jumping

18: Sport to play:

Volleyball I think

17: Magazine:

Don’t have one

16: Book:

The Shinning

15: Day of the week:

Saturdays

14: Beach:

Don’t really like beaches

13: Concert attended:

Truda’s concert for moment but I suppose Disturbing’s going ro replace it or maybe Cannibal Corpse, who knows

12: Thing to cook:

Pudding

11: Food:

Noodles or cremeschnitte

10: Restaurant:

One called Anna

9: Radio station:

don’t have one

8: Yankee candle scent:

dreamy summer nights

7: Perfume:

men’s one are my favorite, gotta admit it

6: Flower:

ORchids

5: Color:

purple and black

4: Talk show host:

don’t have one

3: Comedian:

A romanian one, can’t remember his name

2: Dog breed:

German Shepherd, American Eskimo, Border Collie, Golden Retriever, Siberian HUsky there are too many I can’t choose only one

1: Did you answer all these truthfully?

yes I did it oh god

[crazyscotsmanthe1st]

Outlaw King

It was my pleasure recently to watch the new historical epic, Outlaw King. As someone who loves Scottish history, and in particular the story of Robert the Bruce, I was very excited to see it and fervently hoped it would live up to expectations. The trailers hinted as much, with details of the clothing and weapons, snippets of scenes and dialogue all promising that the film would be much truer to history than previous historical epics (one in particular springs to mind).

As a misty-eyed storyteller rather than a strict historian, I've always appreciated that film is an art form, and that history is the inspiration, not the script. But in the case of stories like Robert the Bruce, history presents us with such rich and vivid characters and tales that surely not much embellishment or interpretation is required.

Indeed, I felt the challenge for Outlaw King may be that Robert the Bruce is too massive, too gigantic to fit into one film. Rather than casting about for inspiration, the filmmakers must have been overwhelmed by the depth and breadth of the character and the story. The historical novelist Nigel Tranter deemed it necessary to publish a trilogy. I couldn't help thinking that it may take a trilogy to properly tell the story on film too.

The filmmakers dealt with this by concentrating on just three years: 1304 – 1307. From the fall of Stirling Castle, which marked the final capitulation of the Scots at the end of Wallace’s campaign; to Bruce’s first major victory at the Battle of Loudoun Hill. In doing so, it covers the bleakest and most desperate part of Bruce’s reign. It’s a study of a man who becomes king, only to immediately lose everything and become a fugitive, then to become a guerilla fighter as he rebuilds his strength to the point he’s finally able to face his enemies in a pitched battle.

So there’s no Bannockburn - Bruce’s greatest triumph is not even mentioned. His duel with Sir Henry de Bohun, the Declaration of Arbroath, the launching of a second front in Ireland, the death of Edward II and the final peace treaty which ended the war and confirmed Bruce as king of an independent Scotland – all are left out of the timeframe. There is speculation that this leaves the door open for a sequel – and I do hope so. Bannockburn deserves to be depicted properly in film, and a battle of that scope and importance probably needs about half a film to be portrayed with any justice. So I’m glad it wasn’t squeezed or simplified into just a few minutes tacked on at the end.

Bruce himself is played by Chris Pine of Star Trek fame. As an American playing a Scotsman, there was inevitably much chat about how good his accent would be. For the most part, he pulled it off alright. There was the occasional errant vowel that those of us who speak with Scottish accents will pick up on, but the rest of the world won’t notice. He plays Bruce as strong and authoritative, but with a softer side and compassionate streak. His tenderness towards his daughter and the respect he shows his new wife endear him to the audience. We understand that this is a powerful noble with a claim to the throne, but also someone very human. I think he gets it spot on.

Edward I is played by Stephen Dillane, who most of us know as Stannis Baratheon from Game of Thrones. I’ve always thought that Charles Dance, who plays Tywin Lannister in the same series, would be the perfect actor to play this role – he has Edward’s height (hence the nickname Longshanks), and effortlessly projects an air of sinister authority. But Dillane does a very good job. He gets across the character of an ageing and battle hardened monarch, in a hurry to crush his enemies and tie up loose ends in the time he has left.

I’ll now go into detail about events in the film, and compare them to what really happened in history. So if you haven’t seen the film yet and you don’t know the history - SPOILERS AHEAD.

The film opens with Bruce on his knees, swearing allegiance to Edward and being accepted back into the fold after having rebelled against him. The dialogue gives us an immediate insight into Bruce’s complicated loyalties as Edward mentions that his father had once accompanied him on a crusade to the Holy Land. Bruce’s rivalry with John Comyn and their competing claims to the throne are also mentioned. A lot of information, all of it historically correct, is conveyed in that one scene – and it doesn’t feel rushed or forced.

We are introduced to the future Edward II – not a sniveling weakling as portrayed in that other historical epic, but a bold and impetuous young prince impatient to escape his father’s shadow. His demand to spar with Bruce and the energy with which he swings the sword immediately banish any lingering memory of that other version of the character. This is a dangerous and unpredictable man, and his daft hairdo signals to us that this is someone we’re supposed to hate.

There’s a brief introduction to James Douglas, who appears before the king to ask for his lands and title, which were stripped after his father resisted Edward, to be restored. He is unceremoniously rebuffed and thrown out of the tent. Here is a man with unfinished business.

Then we see War Wolf, the largest trebuchet ever built. As it took shape below the walls of Stirling Castle, the Scottish defenders had tried to surrender. But Edward refused to accept their surrender and told them to stay exactly where they were - he wanted to test War Wolf and see it in action. Again all this historically accurate information is gotten across easily in the dialogue, and gives us an insight into Edward’s sheer ruthlessness.

Having established the background and circumstances in which the story takes place, some time is then spent on Bruce’s arranged marriage to Elizabeth de Burgh. Played by the beautiful and talented Florence Pugh, she is quickly established as a strong and affectionate woman, keen to establish a relationship with Bruce’s daughter Marjorie from his previous marriage (his first wife died in childbirth). Bruce respects Elizabeth’s boundaries and does not attempt to force himself on her on their wedding night. As discussed above, this helps establish him as a caring and honourable character.

Those of us keen to see the historical plot move forward may feel this part of the film drags on a bit, but I understand it’s necessary for the audience to develop empathy with the characters. And given that the family will later be broken up and separated for years, this being a key part of Bruce’s personal trials and agony, it was important to understand these relationships.

William Wallace is mentioned a couple of times, but remains off-screen. An almost spectral figure, defeated but still at large. As John Comyn describes him, “not a man, but an idea”. That is, until his arm and part of his torso is tied to the Mercat Cross in Berwick.

It is the shock of Wallace’s brutal fate that prompts Bruce to break his oath to Edward and begin making plans for a second rebellion. This is where the film starts to take liberties a wee bit. In reality, seven months separated Wallace’s death from Bruce’s coronation. But I understand the film’s need to condense events and move things along.

Bruce meets John Comyn in Dumfries Kirk to try to enlist his support. History does not record exactly what was said in that meeting, so the filmmakers had a blank canvas. Bruce attempts to put the issue of who will wear the crown to one side and simply persuade Comyn to join him in raising an army. But Comyn will not be persuaded, and threatens to report Bruce’s intentions to Edward. This is what prompts Bruce to draw his dagger and stab him.

History records that Bruce then stumbled out of the church and said to one of his followers: “I think I’ve killed Comyn”, and that his follower said “I’ll make sure” and went back to finish him off. This is left out of the film: it is a single killing blow.

Bruce has murdered his rival, a powerful noble with connections throughout Scotland, in a church. In doing so, he has turned half of Scotland against him and ensured excommunication from the Catholic Church – which was a huge deal in the 14th Century. He’s in deep, deep trouble and his only way out is to immediately claim the throne. He has no choice now: it is all or nothing.

As the film faithfully records, he heads straight to Glasgow Cathedral (it’s a joy to see it on screen) to ask for the forgiveness and support of the Scottish bishops. They agree to absolve him of guilt for the murder and to make him king, in return for an oath of loyalty to the Scottish church. All accurate.

The coronation scene is beautifully filmed, and again the dialogue effortlessly explains that the crown jewels and Stone of Destiny have been stolen by Edward, but a simple gold coronet has been fashioned. This is placed on Bruce’s head by a woman, though we are not told who she is. She is in fact the daughter of the Earl of Fife, who traditionally crowned Scottish monarchs.

Elizabeth’s comment “Alas, we are but king and queen of the May” is actually a real quote. She is supposed to have said that.

The surprise night attack at Methven which destroyed most of Bruce’s army, did take place more or less as depicted, though followers of historical films always roll their eyes at the use of fire arrows. They make for a great spectacle on screen, but would have been completely impractical in real life. The battle took place in June, when the nights in Scotland are not particularly dark. The soldiers would have been able to see what they were doing without the use of fire.

Methven was a massive setback for Bruce. Fleeing with the remnants of his army, he sends his wife and daughter, in the care of his brother, to Kildrummy Castle where he hopes they’ll be safe.

But Kildrummy falls to the English. Bruce’s brother is hanged and disembowelled, and his wife and daughter taken into captivity. This is where the film starts to take liberties again. The future Edward II is seen leading the English forces and is the driving force of the action. In reality, I’m not aware of Edward II being anywhere near Kildrummy.

It’s clear that the filmmakers have decided that Edward II is to be the main hate figure for the film. While they’ve kept to historical events for pretty much every other aspect of the story, Edward II is allowed to rampage across the film doing whatever he wants. That just makes me hate him even more: whenever he appears, he’s ruining history.

Bruce’s band of survivors is then attacked by the MacDougalls at Tyndrum, making his plight even more desperate. This is depicted as taking place on the banks of a loch, when in reality it was a hill pass more similar to where we see Bruce’s first encounter with MacDougall.

According to history, one of the MacDougalls got close enough to grab a brooch from Bruce’s tunic. Bruce killed the man, but was forced to leave the brooch in the dead man’s hand. This particular incident is not shown, but Bruce is seen in the thick of the action. Throughout the film, he’s depicted as a warrior who leads his men into battle, and not an armchair general king. This is true to history.

Bruce arrives on Islay, and hears news of what has happened to his family. This is his darkest moment – thousands of his followers have been killed, his family dead or in captivity and his cause looking utterly hopeless. I feel the film could have done more to explore the depth of Bruce’s despair. You never get the feeling he’s on the brink of giving up or in the throes of a black depression. In reality, the man must have been utterly heartbroken and near suicidal.

The encounter with the spider in the cave is not shown, but is referenced: Bruce says at one point that he’ll be like a spider making its web. Although it’s disputed whether the incident with the spider ever took place, it is a powerful storytelling metaphor and surely a gift to filmmakers. I’d have used it – its inclusion would be much more forgivable than any of Edward II’s nonsense.

Bruce returns to the mainland and begins a hit-and-run guerrilla campaign against the occupying forces. Castles are captured by stealth and cunning, then burned to the ground to make them useless to the enemy. This is true to history – Bruce had no time for castles, and preferred to deny their use to the enemy by destroying them, rather than trying to garrison them himself.

James Douglas is given permission to take his own family’s castle with a small band of men. He sneaks into the chapel during a mass, where he promptly starts stabbing people and shouting “Douglas!” at the top of his lungs. Having taken the castle, he invites the local people in to eat the food and carry away anything of value. Then he torches the place. All of this, believe it or not, is historically accurate.

In building up to Loudoun Hill, the filmmakers decided to omit the Battle of Glen Trool. I was a bit disappointed about this – I’d have loved to see it depicted on screen. It’s a fairly simple battle – Bruce lured the English into the glen where they were strung out in a narrow line, while concealing his own forces on the hillside. At his signal, the Scots rolled large boulders down the hill, which smashed into the enemy line and broke their formation. The Scots then charged down the hill themselves to finish the job. Though it was a minor battle, it was Bruce’s first real victory and attracted more men to his cause – as well as the larger English force which he would defeat at Loudoun Hill.

Edward I decides to personally lead his army into Scotland to crush Bruce once and for all. But he collapses en route, and before he dies he orders his son to boil his body and carry his bones into battle with the Scots. Although this actually happened after Loudoun Hill, the details are correct – Edward did give those orders, and his son did choose to ignore them.

The tactics at the Battle of Loudoun Hill are correctly depicted, and would go on be used again at Bannockburn . The digging of ditches to trip the horses of the English cavalry and funnel their attack into a narrow front, and the use of boggy ground to deny them momentum – tactics first tested at Loudoun Hill. In this sense, it is the first of Bruce’s important tactical victories – it teaches him how to defeat a much larger force with heavy cavalry in an open field.

Edward II makes his final, biggest and most ridiculous historically inaccurate appearance here. Charging into the midst of the Scottish army to challenge Bruce to single combat, he eventually collapses exhausted and begins grovelling in the mud. Inexplicably, the Scots simply let him go. If the Scots had a chance to capture the king (or rather, heir to the throne) of England, there’s no way they would have passed that up. Bruce could have had his wife and daughter back in 1307, rather than having to wait another seven years.

This is easily the most ridiculous part of the film, and it’s a tragedy that it happens so near the end because it leaves such a bad impression.

In the final scene, Bruce is seen being reunited with his wife as text explains that she was released in a prisoner exchange. This didn’t happen until after Bannockburn in 1314, so the film has fast forwarded quite a bit – but I suppose it was necessary to provide the audience with a conclusion to their love story.

Positives: the cast gave brilliant performances, particularly Chris Pine, Florence Pugh and Stephen Dillane. Scotland looks utterly gorgeous throughout, and many of the scenes are beautifully filmed. History is, for the most part, respected.

Negatives: I’d have liked to have seen a deeper “despair to determination” arc in Bruce’s character development, perhaps utilising the spider. And Edward II ruins everything.

In conclusion, a story carefully and delicately told. Some liberties are taken, but that's inevitable in film. They say the darkest hour comes before the dawn, and this film captures that moment in Scottish history. Bruce’s darkest hour was also Scotland’s, but ultimately he and his kingdom rose from the ashes and triumphed. It’s a story of survival, hope and victory. And it’s all the more inspiring because it’s true.

It’s a story I’ve known all my life, and always been keen and happy to share with others. Now millions around the world can share it. Flawed and imperfect, it is nevertheless as faithful a retelling as we can hope for in the form of a big-budget movie.

As the years go on, Outlaw King will become a true classic. It deserves to be.

[breegullbeakreviews]

My hopes and dreams may have been dashed by the Jim Carrey who stole Christmas and a Tony the Tiger’s luchador cousin, but we still have DLC to look forward to. Here are my out there and not so out there ideas on who should join the roster in the Smash Pass.

Rules: No echos. The announcement claimed these types of new fighters won’t be a part of the pass. This doesn’t mean a new fighter may not come bundled with an echo of themselves, but these types of fighters won’t be a part of this list.

Also no Assist trophies. As much as I want Spring man and Ribbon girl to punch in I don’t see them replacing or removing an existing assist trophy to add a character in.

Fighter: Banjo & Kazooie

I am still holding onto the dream. The duo of bear and bird are tied to the Nintendo 64 despite no longer being owned by the big N. Phil Spencer is down to get Banjo in the game so the only real question is if Sakurai thinks they are worth adding. As far as Nintendo wanting them, it would only be if some deal was worked out for the N64 classic. I’d assume both announcements would be near one another.

I’ve gone over their endless potential for moves before and that hasn’t changed. Grant Kirkhope killed it on the soundtrack for these games so there are plenty of tracks to choose from. The only real question is what the stage will be. Smash is usually inspired by stages more often than it copies a direct area, so in that regard I think Spiral Mountain would probably make the most sense. I think the Rusty Bucket has a lot of potential as well, but if the idea is to go for something iconic I think you have to go Spiral Mountain.

Fighter: Doom Slayer

Not giving up on this one either. Odds probably aren’t great though. Doom is a very western franchise and not one super linked to Nintendo, and let’s not even get into the violence and religious aspects. The one thing it has going for it is that it is a very important franchise to the history of gaming and Bethesda seems to be on good terms with Nintendo. Doom Eternal is coming to the Nintendo Switch so it could be a cool marketing move to drop this fighter in to build up hype.

Just because he wouldn’t be a Snake echo anymore doesn’t mean he doesn’t have potential. The Doom Marine has plenty of weapons to pull from in his past games and it wouldn’t be too hard to pull some from the upcoming Doom Eternal. I also don’t think it’d be much of a stretch to give the Doom Marine an echo fighter in the form of B.J. Blazkowicz. He is equally important to the history of first person shooters. Doom Marine would certainly get the stage though as Nazi Germany isn’t something I see getting shown off in Smash. A space station on Mars with maybe a transition to hell seems perfect for a stage.

Fighter: Lara Croft

Odds are if we get another Square Enix representative it would be Geno, but Lara Croft is another major gaming icon, just again more western focused. She has appeared on Nintendo consoles so the only issue is coming up with her moves, and I don’t have many ideas for this. Her combat style is very weapons heavy, but she doesn’t have much that would work for close range at least from my experience with the franchise. Like Doom Slayer, I only see Nintendo green lighting this if we are getting some Tomb Raider title on the platform before February 2020.

Stage wise Lara Croft has tons of crazy set pieces to draw from. I assume the stage would be a tomb of some kind with plenty of hazards and maybe even a guest appearance by the iconic T-rex. Lara has plenty of costumes to pull from. If one major thing keeps Lara out it’ll be her moves.

Fighter: Geno

People want Geno. I am not one of those people. I have never played Super Mario RPG, and unless it comes to Nintendo Switch I probably never will. I really have nothing else to say except that I think he is rather likely to be in the game as DLC. Geno could be tied into a remaster or rerelease of the game on Switch, but it is possible Nintendo will just bring him in because fans want him.

Fighter: Shantae

Being a spirt does not preclude one from being a fighter. Despite having yet to review it, I was a backer of Shantae: Half-Genie Hero despite having zero history with the franchise. Shantae has history with Nintendo. Debuting on the Gameboy Color Shantae is a mix of traditional platforming and some metroidvania mechanics. Now I’m sure plenty of people would be pissed if she got in over Shovel Knight, but I think she has a lot more to offer.

For one thing we don’t have another fighter who uses their hair. That alone will give her some interesting standard attacks. She also has a plethora of magic and transformations that could make for an interesting set of special and smash attacks. As far as a stage goes I think the central town would be the best representation of the series as a whole. Maybe have part of the stage feature a dock so that Risky Boots can dock.

The music in the latest game is fantastic. You could bring everything over unchanged and it’d fit in. Every track has a beat that makes you want to get up and dance while still getting across the mood. Overall I don’t think Shantae’s chances are great. Mostly because she is an indie character and she’d be pretty obscure for Nintendo to pick for one of five DLC fighters. Let’s just say I’m not holding my breath on this one.

Fighter: Dixie (& Kiddy?) Kong

Another much more likely fighter with a ponytail. I have not played a Donkey Kong game featuring Dixie. I also don’t like the Donkey Kong Country games, though I do like DK64. That all being said I understand people want Dixie in. She is one of two playable characters in DKC2 which is regarded as the best of the trilogy.

Now why did I say Dixie and Kiddy? Well I think there is potential to make Dixie unique by having her nephew help out in some way. One thing that neither DK nor Diddy get across is the weird health system of the old games. If a Kong is hit you switch to the other one who was running alongside. I think using that relationship between the two could make Dixie really stand out. That being said I could also see her coming in on her own. Potential have it be a Zelda/Sheik style swap.

Now I also think there is echo potential with Tiny and Chunky, though I think it’d be more likely to have s singular Dixie have Tiny as an echo than getting all four. Dixie’s single ponytail versus Tiny’s two could change the range and speed. People talk about Tiny as Dixie’s replacement so I don’t think it’s a stretch. I have no idea what sort of announcement this could tie into. Maybe another DKC game or a DK64 remaster.

Fighter: Gen 3, 5, or 8 Pokémon

I expect this would be a gen 8 Pokémon over a gen 3 or 5 one if only because outside gen 1 additions new fighters have been from the latest generation. Melee added Mewtwo and Pichu. Brawl added Pokémon trainer and Lucario. 4 added Greninja and Ultimate is adding Incenaroar. Who knows what Pokémon it’ll be, but I’m for a grass type.

If we do roll back to gen 3 I’d hope for Sceptile or Grovyle. We need a fully evolved Grass starter in the battle. As far as gen 5 goes Emolga would be a third electric type but it’d be interesting to have in there with its flight and thunder. Outside that maybe Krookodile. I’d also not be opposed to a new Pokémon Trainer as long as the Fire starter isn’t the third stage. Ideally it’d be Tepig, Dewott, Serpirior or any combination if the Hoenn starters without Blaziken.

If the stage is gen 8 I don’t know where it’d be obviously. As for gen 3 the Sky Pillar could work, but I would not be opposed to a plethora of locals. Fortree city, and Mt. Chimney come to mind. I think Shoal cave could be interesting using the games internal clock to change the stage with the tide. Gen 5 I’m not picky. Mostly because I hated gen 5 and forget almost everything about it.

Fighter: Fire Emblem: Three Houses character

I actively do not want this, but knowing Sakurai it’s possible that we will see another anime sword boy or girl. With Nintendo selecting odds are lowered, but it is still a possibility.

Fighter: Tetris Block

Yes I watch GameXplain. I think this might be a bit far outside the box for Nintendo to pick, but if a Gameboy Classic is in the works this is some easy cross promotion with the system’s killer app. Music is obvious. Having the stage be a game of Tetris seems to be obvious. If the Tetris block is a fighter the stage would need a different art style than the character. Don’t ask me how it’d fight. Only Sakurai truly knows.

Fighter: Steve & Alex (Minecraft)

Most people know Steve’s name, but less know Alex. This is again Microsoft owned, and outside getting representation from the second bestselling game of all time, I don’t know what would compel Nintendo to select them as fighters. Stage wise the possibilities are endless. In a world of blocks and biomes it is hard to pick just one. I could see a stage divided into multiple areas like Delfino Plaza. I could also see a destructible stage that rebuilds like Luigi’s Mansion, though maybe not always the same way.

Move wise the two have a lot of tools, potions, and blocks to pull from. If a Creeper doesn’t show up here or as a stage hazard, than it needs to be an assist trophy. Music may be an issue. The music doesn’t seem like it’d transition well to battle music.

Fighter: Tails

I have never owned a Sonic game. I am not a Sonic fan. That being said with Shadow out of the picture I think Tails could be a great addition. From what I know of the character he seems to be more about verticality than speed. He also has gadgets that could make up his final smash.

As for a new stage maybe pull something from Mania or Forces. I assume most of the music is already going to be in the game so that might be an issue.