#also first time making fully from scratch bc when we made it in class we used pre-made mix for the batter part to make it easier

[unityrain24]

making okonomiyaki!!

お好み焼きを焼っています！！

[ackerfics]

on impulse — a bonus chapter for the parent trap au ft. levi.

— levi ackerman x female reader (modern au | the parent trap au)

— summary: there's a new addition to the family.

— word count: 2.7k

— notes: i wrote this while taking a break from stressing over my finals yey me !! i took the time to unwind and wrote a scenario that's heavy in my mind rn dhwjhd this is definitely the kind of break that i need from doing my finals for one of my classes whew. btw, this happened after the epilogue to clear some confusion 😚 have fun reading !! hope you're happy with this little surprise bc hey i'm not dead !! (i am not inspired by our own pregnant cat at all oop)

reblogs are greatly appreciated !! <3 my masterlist is here if you want to check out the previous chapters uwu

This was long overdue.

It has been years since Captain was just a puppy hoarding all of the house slippers and munching on furniture. Now that Altair thought about it, their family dog was the same age as him — his first memory playing and rolling around the matted living room with a puppy Captain. It was quite sad to say that Altair’s best friend was a dog that grew up with him before Caelum came into the picture. The question of having another pet when their golden retriever perfectly filled the role never surfaced from Altair’s mind until he came across a schoolmate of his shouting about visiting their stall during their annual school festival.

Being the ever-curious child he was, Altair made sure to tell Caelum beforehand that he'd be exploring something first, to which the younger twin said yes before going into the direction of the stall selling handmade trinkets. Watching his younger twin bounce off to his own devices, Altair smiled a little. There was a warmth in his chest every time he witnessed that childlike wonder on his brother’s face. Knowing that Caelum was safe while buying whatever caught his eye, Altair walked to the stall with the banner Give Them Homes fluttering against the breeze. His hands were snug inside the pockets of his uniform pants, eyebrows furrowing in curiosity as he craned his neck to fully see what was inside the box. There was also a girl with twin braids over her shoulders talking to some students in his grade, the only person coming between him and his goal.

“Altair?”

He looked at the girl and wondered where he saw her. “... I’m sorry?”

The girl made a noise of surprise. “Are you his twin? The one that transferred at the start of the school year? I’m sorry I mistook you as Altair.”

Altair shook his head. Of course, nobody could tell him and his twin apart now. “Uh, I’m Altair. My twin is at the Arts and Crafts stall. You are?” Again, he didn’t mean for his question to sound snobbish but he couldn’t help it. He only heard of this girl today. Plus, he really wanted to see what was inside the box. His curiosity was growing because there were scratching sounds coming from it. Did the boxes house tarantulas? Bugs that he could keep as pets? He hoped his dad wouldn’t find out if he came home with a cage with a tarantula in it. He would do anything to make sure that even Petra, Oluo, and Hange wouldn’t discover his little secret.

“Oh, I’m Naomi, I’m actually in your class,” she sheepishly provided for the onyx-haired boy.

“Huh,” Altair muttered, nodding to let the girl know he was paying attention but his gaze was still set on the box.

Naomi followed his eyes and raised her eyebrows in understanding. “You want to adopt?”

Now, she had Altair’s attention. “Adopt?”

“Yeah! Our club partnered with the pet shop down the street. A lot of their animals gave birth to many babies. We reached out to them, hoping that they’d extend some of the animals’ offspring for the school event. I know some students want to adopt some animals. We also keep track of who chooses to adopt them. We have a record that they should fill in and a bunch of paperwork that they should give to their parents. If we don’t get a response after a day, we’ll have to ask for the student to give back the animal. A parent’s consent is important, so they say!”

Altair stared at the girl with dispassionate eyes, blinking ever so slowly, which made her shrink back until her back bumped into the table. To others, Naomi’s yelp pulled him from his trance but in reality, it was a light tug in his unbuttoned blazer. Altair calmly turned around to face the smiling face of his twin, who was holding a bag of trinkets he managed to buy from the Arts and Crafts stall.

“I finished buying some stuff that we can give to Mum and Dad,” Caelum informed his brother. He turned to the girl, “Oh, hi, Naomi.” The girl waved in greeting, along with the mention of his name. At the blank look harbored by his twin, Caelum leaned back in apprehension. The glint in Altair’s eyes could never be mistaken. It was the same look like the time of the Parent Trap plan or that time where he pulled him to the forest in search of Pokemon. Any ingenious thing he came up with, Caelum always remembered his twin having this intense stare. “What are you planning now?”

“Cae, let’s adopt an animal,” Altair rushed out.

Caelum could only utter a, “What?” His jaw was slack as he watched Altair’s face light up upon seeing the animals inside the box. When he saw the ball of black in his vision, Caelum sharply inhaled. “I agree. Let’s adopt him.” He pointed at the furball in his brother’s hands, holding the animal up as if it was Simba from The Lion King.

Altair’s wicked grin said it all — their father would never agree to this. It was a whisper but Caelum heard it.

“Let’s not tell Dad or any adult about this, okay?”

Levi was an observant man.

He effortlessly pointed out the littlest of things like how you had this franticness in you that you carefully hid, concluding to you juggling too many clients again. He noticed the mannerisms of his workers, seeing as somebody ordered their tea from overseas, also offering to open a new branch out of America. He was always the first one to mention that Captain was feeling under the weather ever since they got him as a family dog. His mother liked to joke that he was innate and was born an empath. Knowing Levi, he brushed it off with a remark that had Kuchel laughing, something along the lines of blaming her for this unnecessary behavior of his. So, it wasn’t that hard when he noted that Altair’s bag was too heavy or that Caelum entered the kitchen way too many times to count in a day.

One thing was for sure; the twins were acting weird and it gave Levi a sense of deja vu.

So, he followed Caelum during one weekend when his youngest son did his kitchen rounds. He had to be as quiet as possible. Then, he was face to face with Altair’s room. Levi heard the lock click in place. It was hard for him to listen in because he respected the boundaries of his family. He never once entered Altair’s room without the boy’s permission. But this time, what his sons were doing, it was suspicious as it is. Of course, it would be. Altair was acting like he was in a spy movie while hiding something behind his back after playing in the backyard. It was pretty comical to watch in the corner of his eyes how the little boy looked at him while walking past the living room or how his back always pressed against the wall.

“You think he noticed?”

Levi narrowed his eyes.

“Who? Dad?”

“Yeah. It’s been a week now and he never said a word yet.”

“Maybe we’re just too good at keeping secrets, Cae. No worries.” The voice kept moving closer to the door. “Dad will never know about this one. It will be the only plan we have that he won’t discover—”

The door opened and Altair bumped into his father’s front.

“Ow! Who the hell stands in front of my door…” Altair’s face betrayed no emotion as he blinked at Levi. Then, he gasped and closed the door. Only for Levi to prevent him from doing so. “Dad!” He nervously laughed, a high-pitched sound that only came out of Altair when he’s lying, or worse, hiding something. “What a coincidence seeing you here! Why are you here? Do you need anything? Food? Uhm, water? We have those here! We will gladly give you whatever you need. Just please let me close this door.”

“Bloody hell,” Caelum’s voice echoed from the inside of Altair’s room. “Not again.”

“Altair Kenneth Ackerman.”

Said boy gulped. Caelum gasped.

Levi glared through the opening of the door that showed Altair’s face. “What have you been hiding?”

“Dad, I swear, I’m not doing anything illegal! I’m only eleven!”

“I know.” The calmness in Levi’s voice sent a chill down the twins’ spines. “So, let me in, Altair.”

“No!”

“Altair.”

“Dad, please.”

“I swear to God.”

“I promise I’d stop playing games during the weekdays. I promise I’d eat more vegetables. I promise you anything that you want me to do, Dad! Just don’t come into my room!”

“No, Rascal, get back!”

“What?” Levi was taken aback. Suddenly, a blur of black sped through the hallway and into the stairs. The door was then opened wide, revealing a disheveled Caelum, who pointed to the hallway with his brother stepping out of the room. Levi shifted his gaze from Altair to Caelum. “What is going on—?”

“Catch that black rascal!”

Altair turned to his younger brother in exasperation. “Was that him?!”

“Yes. Chase him, Al! He’s fast and jumpy and terrified!”

Like nothing happened, Levi was left standing in front of his son’s room, still not comprehending what transpired at the last minute. The thuds of his sons’ footsteps on the floor panels shook him out of his reverie. “Altair! Caelum! Get back here, you brats!”

Your day in the studio finally came to an end. It was a successful gown fitting for a new bride. This deserved a celebration. You were thinking of asking for some help from Petra in making dinner that exuded your happiness in completing the clients’ wishes because you also managed to deliver the three gowns overseas without any hitch. The swish of your day dress and the click of your heels on the floor signified your arrival. “I’m home!” You announced to the first living room. Taking off your heels almost immediately and with them dangling from your fingers, you went inside the homelier part of the mansion and waited for the patter of steps that always wrapped you in hugs. What welcomed you, though, was a soft ball of fur climbing the bottom of your dress. You looked down and to your surprise, it was the cutest little thing of nostalgia looking at you with standing fur.

“Oh, my, where did you come from, little fella?”

You picked up the black Persian kitten and cradled it in your arms. It was stiff and shaking. With a hum, you ran your fingers to help the little guy calm down. It did until the patter of steps you anticipated (along with aggravated shouts) came from the stairs and echoed throughout the house. The kitten stiffened again, squirming in your hold. You had no choice but to let it nuzzle into your neck. You looked up at the staircase with a concerned countenance, wondering if that was really Levi you heard.

“Mum!”

“Mommy!

Then, two voices mixed together. “You found him!”

“Come back here, you two!”

“Him?” you parroted, looking down at the kitten staring at you with big blue eyes. Then, two pairs of arms wrapped around your middle in a welcoming embrace. You laughed while you maintained your balance, thanking yourself for taking off the heels earlier. You felt Altair hide behind you, grumbling along the lines of a crazy old man. You saw your husband stop in front of you, glare murderous enough to make a person sweat in nervousness. You, however, placed a hand on Caelum’s head, ruffling the wavy hair between your fingers. “Love,” you greeted with an amused smile before raising your hand to fix Levi’s hair. At your touch, he felt like he could instantly relax. His eyes softened yet they still held a warning for the two boys using you as a shield. “Do you remember the cat we had during university?”

Levi continued staring at the twins, lips curling when Altair peeked around you to stick out his tongue at him. “Yeah, of course, beautiful, I remember that soulless creature.”

“Don’t you think this little guy here looks like Lele?”

The kitten really looked like the one you two adopted out of impulse. Well, it was because you looked at him with those eyes of yours that he always compared to a puppy. He would never find the strength in him to refuse you if you pull that out. Right now, it wasn’t only you who sported that look, it tripled because of the two boys still hanging onto you. Great, now he’d feel terribly guilty if he said no to this. It took Levi two whole minutes of weighing the pros and cons of adopting another pet. The twins gradually deflated when the silence prolonged even more. It looked like they were going to call Naomi and her club so that the kitten would be returned.

“... What’s his name?”

The twins glowed like heavenly bodies at that.

Altair jovially pulled you to the couch while Caelum pushed Levi until the four of you sat side by side, with the twins in the middle. The kitten is now on Caelum’s lap, having calmed down and slept.

“Rascal,” Altair answered.

“Rascal?” Levi echoed.

“That’s a fitting name, isn’t it?” you laughed.

Caelum trailed his finger on the kitten’s fluffy face, making the pet’s nose twitch. “Yeah, he gave us a hard time the entire week. He was always jumping around our rooms and breaking stuff. We adopted him during that school event.”

Levi narrowed his eyes. “Oh? What about the consent forms?”

Altair nervously laughed again. “... We kinda forged your signature, Dad.”

“... You did what?”

“Boys,” you started, catching their attention, “you know you can ask for our permission, right?”

“But Dad said that he doesn’t want to have another pet after Captain,” Altair reasoned.

You cupped your older son’s face, rubbing your thumb on the apple of his cheek. Your free hand held Caelum’s wrist, your eyes going regarding both of your sons. “Yes, he said that but it wouldn’t hurt if you asked first. If your dad doesn’t agree when you ask for permission, you can always prove that you’re mature enough to care for a new pet. It will take some time but your efforts will pay off. But seeing as Rascal is here, turn this opportunity to show that you two can care for him. Be gentle with him and give him his needs like you would a fragile thing. Judging from his size, he looks like he was only born for a couple of weeks.”

“We understand, Mum,” Caelum smiled, his head turning to the sleeping kitten.

“Al,” came Levi’s voice.”

“I’m kinda prepared already,” the said boy replied with bright eyes.

“Don’t tell me that’s why your bag was too heavy.”

Altair scratched his undercut. “Yeah,” he sheepishly admitted. “Cae and I bought toys and some kitten milk replacer from the pet store. It was no big deal, it came mostly from our savings.”

Despite the near scare he had with Altair, Levi couldn’t help but feel that his boys were constantly reminding him that they’re getting older. Caring for the kitten as their pet would be a huge step for them to develop a sense of responsibility. Levi already had experience caring for a cat and he prayed that he wouldn’t have a repeat of that because your previous feline didn’t like him at all. At least this time, Rascal purred whenever he joined Caelum in trailing his fingers on the fluffy furball. The man’s lips turned into a smile, feeling the urge to show some affection to his sons. He placed a kiss on the crown of Caelum’s head, earning a giggle from the boy, before leaning forward to reward Altair with a kiss on his forehead, to which the older twin whined a Dad at (also rubbing where his father kissed him with red cheeks). He heard your low amused laughs and flashed a beautiful smile at you, lidded eyes painted with all the adoration and love he could muster.

“Bollocks, he peed on me.”

Cackles from Altair rang through.

“Al, you made him drink so much!”

“Sucks to be you right now! But, hey, good thing it wasn’t kitten crap.”

“Okay, okay, why don’t you clean up, Cae. Let me and Levi help prepare his space here in the living room.”

Yeah, Levi wished he could preserve this moment for eternity.

taglist for tpt :>

@loveprisms @halparkebitch @omlbarnes @a--nonymousse @nunufx @misslovingpearl @softsakusas @whalerus @sakuxxi @littleagxs @izzy-rose010 @dora-the-grownup @dren-whalen @whosveenus @bokkunto @alwayssleepingforreal @haikyuutothetop @awkwardspontaneity @tenaciouswritersheep @leviskata @hexll @poeticsorcery @shadowolf993 @pirate4ngel @purplecandygerl @p1nkfl0wers @kpostedsum @lynnleanist

[fairywithgremlintendencies]

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

72. worst subject?

65. any permanent scars?

64. favorite website from your childhood?

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

12. name of your favorite playlist?

24. favorite crystal?

28. five songs to describe you?

honestly i would make you answer every question askdskad

ooh yay!

80. earth tones! they're so nice and remind me of forests :DD

77. hmm rn i only really have pinecones on mine but probably like cacti because they like lots of light!

75. i have a feeling it may have been at school? im not quite sure how i lost it. but earlier this year me and an irl were doing this presentation on refugees for these like 10 year olds and we gave them lollies and one kid's tooth fully came out 😭

74. hmmm. i usually refrain from taking ibuprofen bc it messes with your stomach so the effects will probably be worse for me,, but i have taken some for an arm ache that wouldn't go away that affected my hand too dfjnkjv so that kind of answers the question fdnvjd so uh like 5/10? depends on how annoying it is

72. math. no question about it. i had shitty math teachers growing up who always asked me if i understood or asked me questions bc i was zoning out and like??? 10 year old me could not understand decimal place value bbfg i only did ok this year bc my math teacher was a lot better, so i was the quickest at finishing everything in that class (which was an internal only class without exams for kids who struggled)

65. yep! i have a scar on my finger that looks like a nike tick, and including that i have two scars in total on my knuckles, a real thin one on my arm from a tree scratch, chicken pox scars (both on my face) and like some type of scar on my hip that was from like when i had something similar to chicken pox??? idk what it was from tbh but yeahdfbjfnk and if stretch mark scars count then yeah those too

64. ohohoho!! there were three in particular i would rotate around. friv, kizi, and y8 games!! also i was an animal jam and msp kid....fdjnfdkj

10. i've always fucking hated pe but there were a few areas i was surprisingly okay at. i was pretty good at hitting badminton serves sometimes, uh dodgeball/gimpe always gave me lots of anxiety so i usually tried to get out on purpose or sneak to the side as soon as i could,, but bc i was so paranoid id sometimes be good at dodging the balls which was really annoying bc it would sometimes mean i was the last person in, like in gimpe i'd have to run around the court while these obnoxious dudes in my class biff them at me, probably the dudes who wanted to get all the girls out first lol. one time we were playing a version where everyone throwing the balls was on the sides and the runners had to run through like a sea of balls being thrown,,,,in like year 7 i was the last one in and this dude who i thought i liked at the time threw his ball and it hit my foot and i fell on my face,, it was probably really funny dfnbkfjbf

12. one of my playlists? probably my hyperfocus one i made using gaming music like you suggested! or my queerplatonic playlist or my dream like one hhh i can't pick

24. i love citrine! it's so pretty! i have a really nice piece of it on my shelf, and a smaller piece too!! i also really like most green gems, and when i was little i had a little bit of an obsession with dalmation jasper

28. okay time to bring out the kin playlist dfnvdj

1. oh no! - marina

2. first love / late spring - mitski

3. video games - the young professionals

4. juliet - cavetown

5. rhinestone eyes - gorillaz

ty zoof!! these were fun to do!

[beifongsss]

birthday [sero]

Pairing: Sero x reader

Requested?: Yes! a lovely anon said: “Ahh im so happy to hear you're taking bnha requests!!! So recently it was resident tape boys birthday,,, i was wondering if you could do something where it leads into the two slow dancing in his room?? Thank you so much, i really appreciate you taking the time out of your day to crank out amazing works 🥺🥺”

Summary: (late birthday post for this boy) You try to get the Bakusquad to help you set up a small birthday celebration for Sero. It seems to be going as planned but little do you know, Mina’s main goal is to get the two of you to confess your feelings.

w.c.~ 1.7k

.masterlist. taglist form.

my first time writing for bnha so i’m sorry if it’s not that good! also idk if i’d write for sero again bc it was low key hard 

~

It had been an exhausting day, with you running around trying to keep the Bakusquad under control.

You had been planning Sero’s surprise birthday party and the hardest part about it was making sure that everyone acted as though you had forgotten that there was something to celebrate. There had been many close calls, with Kaminari almost asking him what flavor cake he wanted and Kirishima almost shouting a loud ‘happy birthday!’ when Sero first walked into class.

You had been quick to jump over his desk, slapping your hand across his mouth and earning yourself multiple confused looks as you tried to explain that it was a new game you and Kirishima were playing. It was the dumbest excuse ever and you could hear Bakugou cackling in the background but Sero hadn’t commented, instead choosing to give you a worried nod before slipping into his chair. 

As soon as the bell had rung, you had sprinted out of the classroom, pulling Bakugou along behind you as you motioned for Kirishima and Kaminari to distract Sero. Even though Bakugou muttered multiple profanities under his breath as he followed you, he dutifully helped you pick out the materials you needed, claiming that if he was being forced to attend some shitty party he was going to make sure that it wouldn’t be a bad one. 

Sneaking back into the dorms was the hardest part and you could faintly hear Sero in the common room as he asked Mina where you were. Truth be told, he was pretty upset. He had been waiting for this day for months, ever since you promised him that you would spend his birthday with him doing whatever he wanted. Now that the day had arrived, you were nowhere to be found and he was wondering why you had told him that and then gone back on your word. 

You rushed into the kitchen to check on Sato, who had happily agreed to bake a cake for Sero, before sneaking into the elevator. Once you had reached Sero’s floor, you managed to sneak into his room, knowing that he always left it unlocked because he hated carrying his key around. Even with Bakugou’s condescending comments, the two of you managed to set up pretty quickly. Balloons were floating around the room, some covering the ground along with some confetti. There were streamers hung up all around the room, a sparkly banner positioned right above his bed displaying the two words you were yet to tell your crush friend. 

Once you were done with the set up, you stepped back, brushing your hands off as you looked around in wonder. 

“Thanks, Bakugou,” you said, smiling at the grumpy boy. “This is gonna be great, I can already tell.”

Bakugou simply scoffed before throwing himself onto Sero’s bed. Shaking your head, you went back down to the kitchen, grabbing Mina’s attention beforehand. She joined you in the kitchen, the two of you praising Sato for his amazing work on Sero’s birthday cake. After handing the cake over to Mina, she went up to his room and you went into the common room. Kaminari and Kirishima exchanged a subtle glance as you nodded at them and they quickly said their goodbyes to Sero before heading up to his room as well. You sighed softly as you plopped down onto the couch, leaning your head on Sero’s shoulder. He glanced down at you, smiling softly when you reached up to scratch the tip of your nose.

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten,” you said, breaking the silence first. Sero’s heart swelled at your words before shrinking back down again when you continued speaking. “We have that quiz tomorrow and you haven’t studied.”

Sero’s smile dropped in annoyance and you had to stop yourself before you could apologize and tell him that you did indeed remember his birthday. You shuffled off the couch, heading to the elevator before turning around. “You coming? We can study in your room. I’ll even let you pick the music!”

He trailed after you quietly, trying to hide his disappointment as the elevator ascended. When you reached his room, you stood behind him, earning you a confused glance because he knew that you knew that his room was unlocked. So why weren’t you opening it?

“Surprise!”

Sero stumbled back slightly as he looked around his room. Bakugou was still on his bed, a scowl on his face as he scrolled through his phone. Kaminari and Kirishima were wearing party hats, party horns being held between their lips as they made a racket. Mina was standing in the middle of the room, a large smile on her face as she held a delicious-looking cake. The rest of your classmates were also there, each of them holding a gift and chanting ‘happy birthday!’. 

“Happy birthday, tape boy,” you said softly, wrapping your arms around him from behind. You were smiling widely, happy that things had gone according to plan no matter how many times your friends had almost ruined the surprise. Sero turned around and hugged you tightly, his heart leaping into his throat as he realized you had done this all for him. 

“Thank you,” he whispered, grinning widely before turning to face his friends. 

The party went well, both you and Sero flitting from group to group but never quite spending any time together. Everyone was aware of the lingering glances you would send to each other and as day turned into evening, everyone began to make excuses and leave, making sure to wish Sero a final ‘happy birthday’ before they left. Eventually, it was only the Bakusquad left and you had fun filming a silly unwrapping video of each of Sero’s gifts. After that was done, Bakugou was the first to leave, stating that it was way too late and that he needed to sleep. Kaminari was the next to go, saying that Yaoyorozu had agreed to give him a late night review session for the upcoming test. 

After a few more minutes, Mina let out a fake yawn and tugged Kirishima off of the ground. She sent you a sly smile, pausing at the door and turning to face Sero. 

“Well it’s getting late, we should go,” she said, smiling sweetly before turning back to you. “See you tomorrow (Y/N/N) don’t forget to tell Sero that thing you mentioned. Bye!”

The door shut before either of you could react and you laughed nervously before turning to face Sero. He was looking at you, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you drifted back into his room. 

“What was she talking about?”

“N-Nothing!” you squeaked, turning away from him and flopping onto his bed. “We really should do some studying though.”

Sero hummed, not replying to you before he turned and opened up his laptop. He connected to his speakers before turning his chair to face you. “So what do you wanna listen to?”

“Whatever you want,” you replied, glad that he was choosing to ignore Mina’s words. “I told you I’d let you pick the music!”

You pulled out your notebook, smiling as you heard Sero mutter to himself. After a few seconds of silence, he let out a sound of approval and you perked up as you heard soft music fill the room.

“Well that’s a bit different from your usual music choices,” you teased, frowning slightly when Sero didn’t reply. You turned around, seeing him standing a few inches away from you and causing you to jump. “Geez, Sero. Give me a little warning next time!”

Wordlessly, Sero held his hand out and you took it, giving him a questioning gaze. He pulled you forward and you stumbled slightly, falling into his chest as he led you to the center of the room. He chuckled at you before placing your hands around his neck and putting his own around your waist. You hesitantly laid your head on his shoulder, your heart pounding as the two of you started swaying softly to the music. 

“Thank you,” Sero said softly, his voice barely louder than the music.

“What for?” you replied. 

“Everything.”

“It’s your birthday, silly,” you said. “I wouldn’t have forgotten it. You deserve to be celebrated.”

Sero was glad that you couldn’t see his face as he broke into a bright blush. Still holdin you close, he cleared his throat before speaking again. “Not just for that. I mean for everything, (Y/N). You do so much for me. But yes, thank you for today as well.”

You pulled back slightly, smiling up at Sero. “You do so much for me too, Sero. I love you.”

The music faded for a few seconds as the previous song ended and the new one began. The silence was overwhelming and you felt yourself flush under Sero’s gaze as you realized what you had just said. Before you could fully pull away and run to your room to hide, Sero carefully cupped your cheek and leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your lips before nudging your head back to its spot on his shoulder. 

“Is that what Mina wanted you to tell me?” he asked, laughing softly when you nodded. “I love you too.”

“Happy birthday, Sero,” you said, closing your eyes as you enjoyed the moment. 

“Happy birthday to me indeed.”

~

A few hours later, Mina Ashido was rushing through the dorms when she realized that she didn’t have her phone. She didn’t bother to knock as she burst into Sero’s room, immediately locating the device and placing it in her pocket. 

“Sorry for just bursting..” Mina began, turning to face Sero but trailing off when she saw the two of you curled up in his bed sound asleep. “In.”

Smiling, she fished her phone out of her pocket and snapped a few pictures before sprinting out of the room to locate Kirishima and Kaminari, making sure to close the door quietly as she left. She couldn’t help but giggle wildly as she showed everyone the picture, knowing that when you awoke the next morning you would be pissed. But she could deal with that. 

She was just happy that her two friends had finally gotten together. 

[thisgirlsays22]

Teen Wolf S1 EP7 Part 2: Justice for Derek

Jackson and Lydia show up SO NOW WE HAVE ALMOST THE WHOLE CREW ASSEMBLED. 

Oh shit, and the Alpha too. I hope Derek shows up to save all their asses soon. I miss his gorgeous face. 

The teen pack try to barricade themselves in a classroom. No one will listen to Stiles as he tries to impart his wisdom on them. He finally gets their attention, and I’m charmed by this ragtag band of attractive, idiotic teens. Especially the scene where Scott and Jackson work together TO PUT PILES OF CHAIRS ON TOP OF THE DESK WHICH WILL SOMEHOW AFFORD THEM MORE PROTECTION? YOU FOOLS, I LOVE YOU. 

Sadly, Scott is shrouded in darkness in that screenshot, but if you squint you can see him on the left. Jackson’s face is priceless. 

Stiles is like guys there are a lot of windows here so your efforts to blockade the door are useless. 

Allison asks for some answers. Stiles reveals that somebody killed the janitor, which raises more questions than it answers. 

FOR NO FUCKING REASON SCOTT STARTS SAYING THAT IT’S DEREK HALE WHO IS TRYING TO ATTACK THEM AND WHO KILLED THE JANITOR??? WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK??? AND THEN HE PINS ALL THE OTHER DEATHS INCLUDING DEREK’S SISTER ON DEREK???? I’m sorry, but even if--no ESPECIALLY if--he thinks Derek is dead right now this is fucked up?? And makes no sense?? This is going to really hurt Derek’s reputation even more. How will this wayward band of teens ever trust him now when Scott is doing him dirty like this? 

Jackson is like YOUR DAD IS THE SHERIFF, STILES, MAYBE CALL HIM???? Lydia calls the cops, but they hang up on her because they were warned there would be prank calls coming from the high school. Um. I don’t think that’s how the police work. Like they get an anon tip that says ‘hey someone is gonna call you that there’s a robbery at burger king, but you should ignore it bc it’s not true’. You wouldn’t just be like ‘oh well if this anon caller says so guess we’ll ignore any calls for help.’ THIS IS SO DUMB IM LAUGHING SO HARD?? 

If they call again...the cops will have the call traced and have Lydia arrested. Allison wisely is like that’s great, definitely call them again so they come here. Stiles says that actually they’ll find out the call is coming from Lydia’s cell...but go to her house first? 

Stiles, just call your father directly? This isn’t actually an issue? 

Anyway, everyone demands answers about Derek that Scott doesn’t have because he’s a fucking liar WHO LIES. Stiles pulls Scott aside and has the audacity to praise him for throwing Derek under the bus?? 

NOT a good day for Sterek, guys. Well, except it helps with the whole enemies to friends to lovers build up that’s so hot, so okay. I just wish this made more sense? Like I know my attention span isn’t the best, but I’ve been pretty good with Teen Wolf, and I just don’t feel like Derek has done enough to warrant this. 

Jackson interrupts Scott and Stiles’s conversation about what the hell the Alpha wants with them and how Scott’s plan to throw Derek under the bus might not have been the best plan if it turns out Derek isn’t dead. He tells Stiles to call his dad directly (Jesus. About time. Jackson, I’m into you right now.) 

Stiles doesn’t want his dad to get hurt, so he refuses to call. This holds up for me since Stiles lost his mom and it makes sense he’d be super protective of his dad. But he caves after punching Jackson, and he gets his dad’s voicemail. 

The Alpha shows up. TIME TO FLEE! Scott asks how many people can fit in Jackson’s car. 

I’m really sad because I wanted the guys to grab Derek and get into Derek’s car and for Derek to wake up like WHY ARE YOU DRIVING MY CAR?? And for Scott and Stiles’s to apologize for besmirching his not-so-good name. 

The teens decide that they need to get to the roof (why the roof?? that seems like a terrible plan?? you will just get cornered worse there??). Scott will go retrieve the key on his own from the janitor’s dead body. 

Lydia notices that they’re in the chemistry room and they need to make a Molotov Cocktail. Lydia, I’m into you right now. 

Everyone on this show clearly agrees with me. 

Allison confronts Scott before he goes to get the key. She tells him he’s been lying all night (ma’am, you are correct. #JusticeForDerek). Jackson smirks to himself. 

90% of this episode is just people wandering around the dark corridors of the school. Scott wanders, armed with the molotov cocktail. I pray for Derek’s arrival. If he’s awake somehow, I bet he heard all the shit they were talking about him with his werehearing. I hope in revenge he spreads malicious rumors about Scott. 

Blood drips onto Scott. He looks up to see the Janitor’s body strung up somehow on the underside of the bleachers in the gym? I’m so confused. It’s all very dark. And how would the Alpha do this? When did he have time? Did he do this in were form or human form? The logistics of this make my head spin. 

Uh oh. Back in the chem class, Lydia exposits that the cocktail won’t ignite if there isn’t sulfuric acid in it. Jackson insists he handed Lydia everything she asked for. Unconvincingly, she says she’s sure he did. 

Scott faces off against the Alpha. The CGI is so delightfully bad. Scott throws the cocktail and nothing happens. The Alpha pounces and HOWLS, causing Jackson’s neck to freak out where he was scratched. It also causes Scott to wolf out. 

Stiles notices that something is on the back of Jackson’s neck. Jackson gets very cagey. 

Scott goes back to wandering the halls in the dark but this time as a wolf. Or like. Half wolf/half human, unlike the Alpha who is fully wolfed out? Scott thinks of Allison and uses his happy memories of her to un-wolf out. This all feels super time wastey and Derekless for my tastes. 

Cops arrive on the scene! The chem class crew is relieved! 

The cops can’t find the janitor’s body or Derek’s. Scott feels unbelieved. Maybe if you weren’t the teen wolf boy who cried wolf about Derek you would be believed, young man. 

Scott insists that the Alpha left them alive because he...wants him in his pack...and he thinks that first he has to get rid of his old pack...which consists of Allison/Jackson/Lydia/Stiles. Wha? None of this makes any sense. I mean he was already in the Alpha’s clutches...and the Alpha just howled? And none of these people are actually his pack? I mean MAYBE Stiles and Allison (except they’re humans? I don’t understand??) But Jackson would be the first to be like, “I am not in his pack, thank you, bye.” And why is this where Scott’s mind goes? And if that were the case why didn’t the Alpha kill them? Oh apparently it’s because...the Alpha wants Scott to kill them? This is so fucking nonsensical. 

Scott says the worst part is that when the Alpha made him shift he wanted to kill all of them. I mean, now it makes more sense why he jumped to that conclusion, and I feel like he should have led with that. 

WE STILL HAVE NO EYES ON DEREK THIS WHOLE EPISODE. I HAVE BEEN ROBBED. 

But we do find Deaton. He offers Scott a raise for helping him get free? 

Scott chases after Allison, and she gives him the cold shoulder. She can’t trust Scott anymore (???). Scott tries to placate her with an assurance that he will have a new phone tomorrow (lmao). She dumps his ass. That’s karma, Scott. 

[artificialqueens]

2003 (1/2) (Vanique) - Ortega

a/n: VANIQUE MUST RIIIIIIISE!!!! ayo team, welcome to this. i pulled this ship from virtually nowhere when i was writing n19f and people seemed to like i as much as i did, so i wrote these two together for the fic challenge. i’ve split this fic into two halves, as they’re two very different vibes. this part follows Vanessa and Monique as they go through primary school and then start their first couple years at high school, so it’s definitely more platonic than anything else but it’s cute! also overall this was inspired by two songs, one being 2003 by Todrick and the other being I Choose You by Kiana Ledé which will be the title of the next part, so look out for that. i so so sosososo hope u enjoy, bc i highkey love this pairing a lot. lots of lo-ove, by-ee!

tw: implied child neglect and drug use

summary: Vanessa Mateo and Monique Heart start school in the year 2003. They love girlbands, superheroes and football, and they’re best friends forever. At least, that’s the plan.

***

The room smells of squeaky floors and play-dough. It’s not like anything she’s ever smelt before, but it’s weirdly comforting. She’s sat on a carpet patterned with all kinds of fruit. It doesn’t have pineapple (which is her favourite), but that’s okay. The walls are covered in colourful paper, an arts-and-crafts rainbow explosion. There’s words too, different curly and spiky shapes making letters. She knows one has a “V” in it because that comes at the start of her name and it looks the same, but she can’t read any of the writing yet. Some of the kids in nursery could already read and one of the boys could even write stories. Vanessa couldn’t. She still can’t, but that’s okay. She can write her name and say please and thank you in two different languages and she knows how to count up to 12 (she gets stuck after that, but she’ll learn the rest).

She looks around the carpet. There’s a girl nearby her with two huge black plaits and huge brown eyes to match. Her skin is dark, and Vanessa feels comforted by the fact she’s not alone in sticking out like a sore thumb amongst the Snow Whites and Cinderellas and Auroras and their matching porcelain-skinned Disney princes that are sitting on the carpet with her. She scratches her head, feeling the bow her Mama tied in dark her hair shift. She hopes she’s not made a mess of it. Then Mama would be mad.

Her teacher’s been talking for a while now. It seems like she’s been talking for two hours. Maybe she has been talking for two hours. Vanessa looks up at the clock, even though she doesn’t know how to tell the time yet so the information is less than useless to her. Bored, her eyes drift towards the girl she was looking at before. She’s wearing a white polo shirt and a red pinafore, and her white socks have got red bows on them. Vanessa is jealous. Her new jumper with the school logo is scratchy on the inside and she told her Mama that her leggings have a hole at the knee but they can’t get any new ones until she gets paid.

She bum-shuffles across to sit beside the girl, keeps her eyes trained on the teacher like a sniper as she leans in and whispers. “You look like a princess.”

The girl gives her a big smile. Vanessa knows she should say thank you, but maybe she doesn’t know as much about manners as Vanessa does. The girl whispers to her. “You look like Meg from Hercules.”

Vanessa smiles at her. She’s seen Hercules- it’s not her favourite, but she’s seen it- and Meg was her favourite character. “Thanks.”

“It’s okay,” she whispers. There’s a pause before she hisses to her again. “My name’s Monique, what’s yours?”

“I’m Vanessa,” she replies quietly. Vanessa picks at the hole in her leggings. It’s now about the size of a 1p coin. She knows about coins, at least. “Hey, you wanna play princesses at playtime?”

Monique nods excitedly, then whips her head around, scared. Vanessa looks up at her teacher. Her eyebrows are almost joined-up and there’s little lines on her forehead and her eyes have gone all hard. Vanessa knows this means she’s feeling cross.

“Vanessa, Monique! It’s rude to talk while someone else is talking. We don’t do that in school.”

Vanessa knows she should nod, but her stomach feels all fizzy and she finds herself frowning at her teacher instead. Monique says sorry. Maybe Vanessa should say sorry too. She decides she doesn’t want to.

“She’s been talking for about 5 hours. Maybe even 4 years,” Vanessa whispers to Monique again. Monique covers her mouth with her hands and lets out a tiny giggle. Their teacher gives them a suspicious look again and Monique shuffles away from Vanessa. Vanessa knows this means she doesn’t want to get into trouble. As soon as the teacher starts talking again, Vanessa hisses over to her.

“Monique!”

No answer. “Monique!”

Monique turns around a little bit to face her. “What?”

Vanessa cups her mouth with her hands so the girl can hear her. “Do you want to be best friends?”

Monique gives her another big smile. It makes Vanessa feel happy too. “Okay!”

She’s only been here for five hours, maybe even four years, and she’s already made a best friend. This school thing is easy.

***

It’s the two of them for life. Vanessa just knows it. They’re BFFAEAE (best friends forever and ever and ever). They get in trouble for chatting at school and their long-suffering teacher monitors them like a hawk. They’re banned from sitting near each other on the carpet because even when Vanessa tries to listen (even if it’s P.E., her favourite), she’ll think of something funny she just has to share with Monique, and of course Monique is incapable of laughing quietly so she lets out a screech that completely disrupts the whole lesson and earns them both five minutes off their reward time. Vanessa doesn’t even mind losing reward time. They sit at the same table while everyone else plays and they write out the class rules, but Vanessa doesn’t mind because it’s the only time they’ll ever be allowed to sit together in class.

In the playground and after school it’s a different story. In Reception they play princesses and animal rescue with their threadbare, well-loved stuffed animals they sneak into school in their schoolbags. By Year 1 they’re popstars learning dance routines and designing album covers and falling out because Monique wants to call their double-act The Strawberry Babies and Vanessa knows that obviously The Starlights is a far superior name. In the Summer between Year 1 and Year 2 Vanessa’s Mama takes them to the cinema to see Fantastic Four and so for the whole of Year 2 they’re obsessed with superheroes, rolling around on the tarmac play-fighting with each other and getting bruised knees and scraped elbows and so far removed from the girly girls they were when they started school.

Vanessa knows everything about Monique and Monique knows everything about her, because that’s what it means to be best friends. Vanessa knows that Monique’s brother is eleven and goes to Big School and doesn’t play with her and slams his door and plays rap music that Monique can hear when she’s in her room with the door closed. Monique stays in the high flats with her brother and her gran.

“Do you have a Mama?” Vanessa remembers asking her one day in the playground, drawing in the dirt with sticks.

Monique’s voice had been quiet. She hadn’t looked up from drawing in the dirt. “Uh-huh.”    

“Where is she?”

Monique had shrugged, scribbled out the happy face she’d drawn. “Gran says she’s not allowed to see us any more.”

Vanessa could tell talking about her Mama had made Monique sad, so they don’t talk about that any more. Dads are off the table too. Vanessa doesn’t know hers and Monique doesn’t either. Vanessa doesn’t really need a Dad. Her Mama works in the supermarket and keeps their tiny pebbledashed council house in the estate spotlessly clean and is always on time to pick Vanessa up from school. She drags Vanessa kicking and screaming to mass every Sunday (Vanessa doesn’t like it because all the chanting scares her) and threatens her with El Coco until she’s blue in the face. Monique goes to church too but hers sounds more fun- they laugh and clap and sing their hearts out. Monique sings the songs in school. Vanessa thinks she sounds like she could be in the Sugababes, not that she’s allowed to listen to the Sugababes.

Monique comes round to Vanessa’s house every few weeks or so. She lives close, and Monique is allowed to walk round on her own. Vanessa is jealous of that. She wishes her Mama would let her go places on her own. She tells her that one day and Mama howls with laughter, says she’s not allowed out on her own until she’s at least twenty-one. Vanessa thinks she’s joking. Thinks.

Vanessa gets excited when Monique visits because she knows her Mama will make an effort with the dinner. That’s unfair and disrespectful, she knows; Mama works hard to put food on the table, but her stuffed arepas are just better than rice and beans (and microwave meals if it’s near her pay day, which her Mama makes Vanessa promise she’ll never tell her Abuela they eat). They sit and eat with their bowls on their laps on the sofa in front of the TV and watch The Weakest Link. They sometimes get the questions right even though they’re only 7 and the people on the show are fully-grown adults. Monique is smart, though. Smarter than Vanessa. Vanessa thinks she’s smarter than their teacher. She’s the best at writing in the class and the best at maths too, and she can read any word at all.

Vanessa’s not that smart, but she knows Monique is, and she thinks she’s amazing.

It’s a grey-clouded day in July in the Summer of 2007 when Monique pulls up outside Vanessa’s house on a brand new bike. It’s blue and the seat is close to the ground and the spokes are all shiny. Vanessa runs out to see her, sticks her feet in between the bars of the rusty iron gate at the front of their house and swings back and forth as Monique talks.

“My brother got me it. Someone from the skatepark didn’t want it any more and it’s too small for him, so I guess it’s mine now,” Monique shrugs happily. There’s a smudge of dirt on her face that Vanessa knows her Mama will wipe off with a hot cloth if she sees it. “It’s kinda big for me but it works okay. You got a bike, right?”

Vanessa cringes, thinks about the pink bike with streamers at the handles that lives in their back garden and is probably crumbling away with rust. “I got one, but it ain’t as cool as yours.”

Monique smiles, satisfied with the compliment. “Well, go get it an’ we can go for a ride.”

Vanessa blushes and thinks of how many cool points she’s going to lose when she tells Monique that she has to ask her Mama first. Monique laughs at her good-humouredly, sticks her tongue out at her and calls her a baby. Monique turned 9 two months ago and Vanessa has to wait four more to catch up with her, so the comment stings but she pretends it doesn’t.

To her surprise and delight, her Mama lets her go out on her bike with Monique but only if they just go round the estate and they’re back before dinner time. Vanessa has never been able to follow the rules, though, so when Monique tells her she knows a place by the river under the bridge with a scrub of sand like it’s the seaside then Vanessa doesn’t hesitate to follow her. Vanessa wonders how Monique seems to know the city so well: she takes her on a journey through dark underpasses with yellow strip lights and bright scrawls of graffiti, narrow bridges above busy roads that Vanessa tries to pretend don’t scare her, secret little paths through the big park Vanessa goes to with her Mama sometimes. They pedal wildly and everything zooms by so quickly that even though she has no idea where she is, Vanessa feels safe. Any vaguely scary things they see (big dogs) are gone a second later, and Vanessa knows Monique would protect her if anything scary did happen. She would protect her too. That’s just what best friends do.

They arrive at the place Monique had been talking about. The brown stone bridge hangs high above them but Vanessa can still hear the cars on it pass by. They’re drowned out slightly by the babbling of the river, inky and cold and black with jaggy rocks underneath its surface. There’s huge clusters of boulders that they both have to climb over to get to the sand and they have to leave their bikes leaning against the wall on the path. It’s not a pretty place, but it’s still a little bit magical. It has the aura of adventure rather than beauty and they’d be more likely to discover pirates here than fairies, which is just how Vanessa likes it. Together they chuck stones into the water haphazardly, their hands growing more grubby by the minute and the dirt black under their nails.

“What’s that?” Vanessa narrows her eyes, reaches down to pick up the object she’s spotted. It’s embedded in the sand and she can’t really see what it is, but it looks like what she got her injections with at the doctor’s. Monique races over to see what she’s talking about and pushes her hand away quickly. Vanessa snaps. “Hey!”

“You’re not s'posed to touch that, it’s dangerous!” Monique cries, outraged. “What if you got stabbed?”

Vanessa snorts a laugh. “It’s ain’t a knife, M'nique, it’s only a stupid needle."

Then, almost as if Monique’s warning had been a dare, Vanessa picks it out the sand with her thumb and index finger, holds it by the plastic tube. Monique’s face falls. "Stop it, ‘Ness, that’s creepy.”

Vanessa laughs, starts making the needle float about while making spooky noises. Monique takes a step back, her face all panicked. Vanessa gives a giggle. Monique’s acting like a scaredy-cat; she does that sometimes and it’s funny to wind her up. She usually takes it well but she’s growing more distressed than she usually does. Her eyes are all wide and Vanessa stops playing the moment she sees tears start welling up in them. She immediately drops the needle into the river and crosses over to her, her trainers leaving huge Nike ticks in the sand.

“Hey, what’s the matter? I’m sorry,” she mumbles. She regrets joking around now, and Monique is wiping at her eyes and sniffing and smearing dirt across her face.

“They used to be all ‘round my house before we lived with Gran,” she sniffs. Vanessa gets a churning feeling in her tummy. She doesn’t really know what that means, but it makes her feel frightened just hearing about it. She can’t imagine how frightened Monique felt seeing them for real. Slipping the sleeves of her hoodie down over her hands, she gives Monique a hug, pats her back in the hope it’s comforting.

“I threw it in the river. Don’t worry. You don’t need to see it ever again,” Vanessa says. She’s not Monique, she doesn’t know what it’s like to have a sibling, but Monique is the closest thing to a sister she has and she wants to keep her safe. Monique is smiling at her when she steps out of the hug, and Vanessa feels relieved.

“An’ if it does come back we’ll just stab it before it can stab us first!” Monique jokes. It’s a silly joke but Vanessa still bursts out laughing.

“We’ll stab it with a stick!” she joins in, and soon the two girls are laughing and anything vaguely threatening has been forgotten about.

They end up cycling a lot that Summer, Monique showing Vanessa all sorts of hidden places all round the city. Vanessa never feels freer than when she’s racing around on dirt paths behind her best friend, and worries are a distant memory. Vanessa’s life is good and she has a lot of things to be thankful for but she knows she looks different and doesn’t fit in, she knows there’s a lot of things that the other kids have that she doesn’t, she knows that there are times when her Mama sits up at night time with her bills spilling out across the kitchen table and a calculator in her hand. Monique is a bright smile and a sense of adventure and she makes Vanessa feel happy.

They don’t go out on their bikes as much when they go back to school after the holidays. Year 4 flies by almost as quick as they used to cycle, as does Year 5. They don’t pretend as much in the playground anymore, preferring to run riot on the astroturf with the boys in their class and play football and get bruises on their shins from being tackled to within an inch of their life. Not much changes by Year 6; their last year of primary school when they should be responsible and conscientious and yet they’re still getting in trouble for giggling in class and playing pranks on the other kids and whispering swear words in Spanish (that one is Vanessa’s fault).

They’ve only got a month left of primary school and Vanessa’s allowed to walk home with Monique now as long as she keeps her phone on loud and texts her Mama to tell her if they’re stopping by the park or the snack van. Today is one of those days. They’re sat underneath the huge cherry blossom tree at the park; Vanessa wants to climb it but Monique’s saying that’s too babyish. They’re too old for that now, so they’re bluetoothing each other Tinchy Stryder and N-Dubz songs and blaring them at full volume out of their tinny phone speakers instead. Vanessa’s about to show Monique a parody somebody’s made of You’re Beautiful by James Blunt when Monique breaks the not-quite-silence.

“You gotta crush on anyone?”

Vanessa wrinkles her face up, snorts a laugh. “Ew! Nah. All the boys in our class are gross. I ain’t ever had a crush on any of ‘em.”

Monique gives a quiet laugh. “Me neither. They all use that Lynx Africa like it’s gonna cover up their B.O.”

Vanessa lets out a howl of laughter. She wasn’t lying to Monique; she doesn’t have a crush on anyone. If she thinks about it, she’s never really had a crush on any of the boys in her class. It’s just not something she thinks about. She cares more about her best friend than she’d ever care about any boy.

Their laughter dies down, and Vanessa gets a knot in her stomach. It happens every so often when she thinks about high school. Their class went up to see the school last week and it felt like such a terrifying maze of identical-looking corridors and crowds of kids so old they looked to be mini adults. Their teacher had told them to write down three friends they wanted to be in the same form class as, even though she said she couldn’t guarantee they’d get to stay together. Vanessa had written only one name on her form- Monique Heart - in her curly, barely-legible handwriting, the “i”s dotted with hearts. It’s been on her mind ever since, though. They’ve been together since Reception, Monique is all Vanessa knows. She wouldn’t begin to know how to make any other friends. She doesn’t want any other friends.

“M’nique,” Vanessa says, and the other girl looks up. “What happens if we ain’t in the same form class next year?”

Monique gives a small, humoured laugh. “Well then we ain’t in the same form class.”

Vanessa rolls her eyes and shoves her. “Duh, idiot! I mean like…with us. We still gon’ be best friends?”

Monique laughs dismissively, shakes her head at her. “Now who’s being the idiot?”

“I’m serious!” Vanessa objects, annoyed that Monique’s still got her eyebrows raised at her like she’s a little kid. She’s going to be 12 in October; it’s not like she’s a baby. “What if you find other cool girls to hang out with? What if you get a new best friend? What am I gonna do?”

“You’re gonna do nothing, cuz that ain’t gonna happen,” Monique insists. Her face lights up as she gets an idea, jabs a finger against the tree trunk. “Okay. If I carve our initials into this tree, it’ll be like a promise. That we’re always gonna be best friends. I don’t want to hang out with cool girls. It’s fun just me an’ you.”

Vanessa smiles, her heart feeling all warm at the reassurance. Monique rummages around in her bag and produces her keys, starts stabbing at the bark of the tree relentlessly. Vanessa flinches a little, part of the reaction a residual memory from watching Pocahontas too much when she was really little; she used to believe that trees could feel things like humans. She shares the memory with Monique who doesn’t laugh at her, even though she probably has every right to.

“Well humans feel things an’ they get tattoos. So this is like a tattoo for a tree,” she shrugs. She’s chipped a big capital M in the bumpy bark so far and is starting on an H.

“Hey, you think we should get matching tattoos when we’re grown ups?” Vanessa suggests, the idea exciting her. Monique frowns as she drags her key over the wood.

“Don’t they use needles for that?”

Vanessa regrets the idea as soon as Monique says it; she’d forgotten about her friend’s fear. She decides to commit to the idea. “They do, but they’re all clean an’ safe. An’ you wouldn’t have to be scared cuz I’d go with you.”

Monique nods as she starts on Vanessa’s name. “I never feel scared when I’m with you. Except when Mrs Del Rio yells at us.”

“She’s a big baby. She just hates us cuz we would be better teachers than her,” Vanessa shrugs. It’s true.

“Well, what tattoo are we gonna get? We need to decide now so we can start saving up for it,” Monique questions her. Vanessa scoffs.

“How much do you think a tattoo costs? It’s like ten pounds, God!"

It’s Monique’s turn to laugh. "Nah, it’s way more than that! My brother’s got one and his cost a hundred and fifty.”

Vanessa lets out an outraged screech. “That’s a damn lie! You’re gonna go to the bad fire if you keep tellin’ lies like that.”

“An’ you’re gonna go to the bad fire cuz you just cussed.”

“Well, see you down there,” Vanessa shrugs. She considers Monique’s question. “What about we get BFFs in cool writing?”

Monique nods enthusiastically. “Yeah! With a heart maybe.”

“Yeah!” Vanessa agrees, excited about the prospect of their matching tattoos. She Googles “when can i get a tatoo” (spelling’s never been her strong suit) and lets out a groan at what she reads. “Ugh. We have to wait seven whole years.”

“You have to wait seven years, I only have to wait six!” Monique boasts, Vanessa sighing. She hates being one of the youngest in the class. She doesn’t have time to feel down for long though, as Monique shows her her handiwork with a flourish; MH + VM, scratched into the tree forever. “There! Best friends forever.”

Vanessa feels as if her smile is going to break her face. It feels like her body is made of the sun’s rays. When Monique says that, high school doesn’t seem so scary any more.

“Where we gonna get these tattoos anyway?” Monique speaks again. Vanessa’s smile turns wicked and she can barely get her thoughts out without laughing.

“Imagine we get them on our butt!”

Vanessa thinks Monique’s Gran might be able to her them screeching with laughter from the top floor of her tower block.

***

Things change though, despite the promise they make. Monique doesn’t think either of them mean to break it but life gets in the way and God has other plans. It’s what she believes at least.

Though she doesn’t know what his plan was for separating her from her best friend. Monique cries for forty-five solid minutes when she receives the letter telling her what form class she’s in; she knows it’s different to Vanessa’s. Her Gran holds her tight and rocks her against her chest on the sofa while her brother yells at her to shut up and slams his bedroom door. Her Gran is full of comforting words: you’re a strong girl, and you’ve been through worse in your life than this, and this isn’t going to change a single thing, hush now. But it is going to change things. When she’s with Vanessa, Monique feels like she can take on the world. She brings out her confident side when she feels shy, matches every shriek with a screech, takes her mind off the fact that she lives in a shoebox fourteen storeys high in the air where the elevator doesn’t work and the stairwell smells like piss. She can’t imagine starting high school without her. She doesn’t want to imagine it.

Monique batters out of the flat despite her Gran shouting after her, dashes down the stairs like her life depends on it. Her heart feels ready to give out when she reaches the lobby and bursts out into the open air but she still unchains her bike from the rack outside, pedals madly to Vanessa’s house. The bike is too small for her now and it’s uncomfortable to ride but it’s all she has to get her to the person that matters most. She reaches the house and Vanessa’s Mama lets her in, and Monique takes the stairs up to Vanessa’s bedroom two at a time where they hold each other tight and bundle up in Vanessa’s duvet and sob and sob and sob.

But looking back, Monique knows she’d been a little dramatic that day. Not being in the same form class as Vanessa really is not the end of the world. They walk there together on their first day and give each other a tight, nervous hug before they each head to their own form rooms. Monique pushes down on the doorhandle and anxiety fills her body as she walks in, freezes at the doorframe. There’s about twenty other kids already in the room and the whole scene is a bit chaotic. There are two boys chucking a ball to each other across the classroom, some girls with hair in high ponytails screeching and playing Katy Perry out of their phone speakers. Even though Monique has sat through countless interviews with social workers, child psychologists and police officers, this is one of the scariest experiences of her life.

“Hey. You wanna sit with us?”

Monique’s eyes fall on a table of girls with skin just like hers and hair to match. Monique instantly feels 80% more reassured; she’s never seen a classroom with a colour palette like this in her life. She and Vanessa had been the only two girls in their year at primary whose skin colour had deviated from the sea of pink or almost-translucent. There’s one girl who fits that mold at the table with the others, and Monique thinks it’s funny that she’s got pale skin, blonde hair and blue eyes and still happens to be the odd one out.

The girls take her under their wing that first day, and the next, and the next. They’ve all gone to a different primary school from Monique and so are already closer than close, but they never make her feel like an outsider. Asia with the sleek, black hair that tumbles down her back has a sweet smile and explains all the in-jokes that Monique doesn’t understand. Antonia, the girl who invited Monique to sit with them, has an intimidating face and a skinny frame but a kind heart and always shares her snack and pens with her. Roberta- Bob- has a huge untameable afro and personality to match, and her cousin Monét isn’t dissimilar apart from the fact that her hair is wavy and caramel instead of jet black and curly. They bicker with each other and gossip about their teachers and make Monique laugh when she’s down. And Brianna is kind and caring and is always able to put a smile on Monique’s face.

Before long, it seems like Monique has made five new friends without even having to try. She wishes she could say she’s friends with Vanessa like she always used to be, but that would be lying.

Because Vanessa’s made friends too. They’re the girls Monique’s Gran always warned her about- friends with the devil and they’ll lead you on a path straight to him. Akeria and Silky make a reputation for themselves at high school within a week of the year beginning. They mess about in class, text during lessons, Silky starts fights with other girls in the corridors that her victims never have the balls to finish. Akeria flirts with the boys and the rumours say she’s had her first kiss already. They backchat teachers and keep cans of spray paint in their bags and walk along the train tracks to the depot after school to spray their wobbly initials on the side of freight trains.

But despite the fact they don’t hang out as much in person any more, that doesn’t diminish the light that Monique keeps burning in her heart for Vanessa. They bump into each other in corridors and chat excitedly in the five minutes they have between lessons, smile and wave at each other from across the lunch hall, and they still text each other and walk there and back from school together. Well, until just after the start of Year 8. Vanessa starts getting a lift from Akeria’s Mum in the mornings and hanging out at the shopping centre with her and Silky after school. It’s not her fault, and Monique supposes she’s no better- Monét lives on Monique’s route to school so the two of them start walking together instead, and after school the girls often go to the chicken shop in town and shovel down wings to make up for the disgusting school lunches.

By her second year of high school it’s almost like Monique has a new best friend.

But she doesn’t want to think like that, so she’s overjoyed when it gets to the start of Summer, just before the last term of their second year ends, and Vanessa’s texts change from general small-talk chit-chat to an invitation to have a sleepover at her house at the weekend. Monique feels embarrassing levels of excitement as she texts back confirming she’ll be there.

M: Are your other friends gonna be there??

V: nah just me n u

And it is just her and Vanessa. It’s a gorgeously sunny day and Vanessa’s Mama puts up a tent in the garden that they can camp out in. It’s nice to be back with her, talking and giggling and laughing about stupid stuff. Vanessa laughs uproariously as she tells Monique about Silky and Akeria’s latest exploits and Monique listens nervously, anxious just hearing about them.

“Do you join in when they do stuff like that?” Monique asks her, after a story about how Silky signed her name in the same Sharpie she does her eyebrows with on a toilet cubicle door and got detention. Vanessa shakes her head, smiles bashfully.

“Nah. I tell ‘em it’s good to keep someone onside in case we get into trouble. The teachers’ll let us away with more if they like one of us. 'Least that’s my excuse,” she explains. Monique smiles, reassured.

“I didn’t think you were like them,” she says, relieved. She thinks Vanessa narrows her eyes at her, but she blinks and her expression has changed. Vanessa’s started wearing makeup and it suits her, even though her foundation is maybe a little off-colour. The mascara she’s swept onto her lashes opens up her eyes a little more and lets Monique see the twinkle that seems to be permanently shining in them.

She is so pretty, and Monique wishes she could look like her.

They talk as if nothing has changed over dinner, various barbecued meats grilled on a disposable barbecue Vanessa’s Mama got from her work. Monique has never had a barbecue before and she decides that burgers charred to within an inch of their lives are the best thing she’s ever eaten. They make smores from chocolate digestives and marshmallows for dessert and Monique howls with laughter as the chocolate and marshmallow melt down half Vanessa’s hand and she licks it off as her Mama rolls her eyes, goes to find her a hot cloth and mutters in Spanish that Monique doesn’t understand but knows is long-suffering. She has almost forgotten the way Vanessa can make her belly laugh just by acting the fool. Monique has spent two whole years not even knowing how much she’s missed her friend, too distracted by her new ones.

When it’s time to go to sleep they both cosy up under Vanessa’s duvet that’s been dragged outside and a sleeping bag each under that. Every available pillow and cushion in the house has been utilised in lieu of a blow-up mattress but the set-up is still comfortable, even though it’s pitch-black both in the tent and outside. It might be the end of June but it’s still cold once the sun goes down, and Vanessa has shuffled up near to Monique in a bid to try and keep warm. Vanessa being so close makes Monique feel warm on the inside as well as the outside.

“Hey, you know that rumour about Akeria kissing Dean from Year 9?” Monique pipes up, interested. “Is that true?”

Vanessa rolls onto her tummy to face Monique, and her eyes are sparkling with mischief even in the dark. It makes Monique’s stomach do a flip. “Yeah. They did it at the food court after school one day. You wanna know what else?”

Vanessa’s face is so full of glee that Monique can’t help but nod in anticipation. She’s almost in fits of laughter as she tries to get the secret out. “He tried to get her to touch his…you know!”

Monique lets out a screech that is equal parts horrified and amused as Vanessa dissolves into giggles too. “GROSS! Did she do it?”

“Ew! What do you think? Of course she didn’t. That shit’s nasty.”

There’s a pause in which Vanessa lets out a few more giggles. Monique doesn’t. She’s silent. She’s thinking.

“I wonder what it’s like.”

Vanessa’s voice is loud in the silence of the night. “What? Touching a boy’s-”

“No, idiot!” Monique laughs, explaining herself. “Kissing someone. Wonder if it’s as nice as people say it is.”

Vanessa falls quiet as well. Monique wonders what she’s thinking. She decides to break the silence. “You ever kissed a boy?”

Vanessa lets out a snort. “Come on, M’nique, you know I ain’t.”

“No I don’t!” Monique protests, her voice dropping to a murmur as she feels herself pout while she speaks. “I feel like I don’t know anything about you anymore.”

They both fall silent, and there’s a shift in the atmosphere that Monique can’t quite put her finger on. Vanessa lets out a sudden giggle.

“What?” Monique asks awkwardly, unsure if she’s meant to be in on the joke or the butt of it.

Vanessa’s face is scheming. She laughs a little, buries her face in her pillow before she speaks. “You know we could practise?”

Monique is slow on the uptake at first. “Practise? Practise what?”

She realises as Vanessa lifts her head and gives another giggle. Monique lets out a screech, takes the pillow from underneath her head and thumps her friend with it. “Ew, Vanessa! Ew, ew, ew! You’re so weird!”

“Oh, c’mon! I don’t wanna go kiss a boy and then be really bad at it, then he’s tell his friends and they’d tell their friends and then the whole school would think I’m shit!” Vanessa insists. Monique’s heart gives a very loud thud as Vanessa inches her face close to Monique. She’s not taken her makeup off and her mascara is all smudged around her eyes like makeshift eyeliner. She looks really pretty.

Monique shoves her away back onto the pillows. “I ain’t doin’ that shit with you! Ask Akeria since she’s so experienced.”

“But I don’t wanna practise with Kiki! I wanna practise with you!” Vanessa says matter-of-factly. Monique’s stomach gives another churn. Something is different, something has changed. Monique isn’t sure what it is or what to make of it.

“Well, tough shit. We ain’t…practising,” Monique huffs, turning her back to Vanessa and letting her eyes burn holes in the flimsy tent walls.

Vanessa’s voice comes from her side of the tent. “Fine! But if they call you…shit, I don’t know…Washing-Machine Mouth Monique…don’t say I never warned you!”

Monique lets out another huff, squeezes her eyes shut and wills herself to sleep. She feels weird. Her heart is going too fast and her stomach feels fizzy and it takes her a moment to realise her face has gone all hot.

“M’nique?” Vanessa’s voice comes from the darkness. She ignores it. “You mad at me?”

She sighs, rolls her eyes even though she knows Vanessa can’t see. “No.”

“Okay,” Vanessa says. Her voice is soft, and she rolls over onto her side. She rests her head against Monique’s back and puts an arm around her. They hug all the time, but this one feels different. It’s nice, though, and Monique feels warm and safe. “I’m sorry we haven’t hung out much. You know. Like we did in primary.”

“I’m sorry too,” Monique sighs, bringing a hand up to pat Vanessa on the arm. She ends up simply leaving it there.

“Hey, we should hang out more in the Summer! You know you can always come round to mine,” Vanessa continues.

“Yeah, that sounds nice,” Monique murmurs, letting out a heavy sigh. She’s not lying- it would be nice. She knows she could never have friends back to her flat because they don’t have the space and besides, most of them wouldn’t even want to set foot in the high rise anyway. Monét’s parents are doctors and Asia’s Dad is a barrister and her Mum is a lawyer, and Bob’s parents work in something accountant-y, and they all live in big houses with sweeping paved driveways and garages and gardens the size of the Emirates stadium. Granted Antonia’s Mum and Dad both work two jobs to pay the rent and Brianna’s Dad is a dustbin man while her Mum stays at home to look after her baby sister, but at least their families are happy ones. Monique has never known the luxury of a fancy house or a private garden or a car or a perfect, cookie-cutter family. She wonders if she ever will.

She’s pulled out of her thoughts by Vanessa giving her a gentle squeeze, cuddling closer. She didn’t think it would be possible but she somehow manages it, and Monique isn’t complaining. “G'night, M'nique.”

Monique is too tired to think any more. Vanessa’s arms feel comforting around her, and she chooses to settle in them. “Night, 'Ness.”

[burdenofthebuster]

OK!! time to talk about clouds mental break and the mishmash of a person he became after (or at least my interpretation of it). and dear lord this got long because I have So Many Thoughts on this. its half a breakdown of his personality and half mental assessment really.

basically : I think it's clouds actual personality + some bits of zack (most prominently his confidence) + poor coping mechanisms. 

so first of all, what was he like before The Incident? we have to remember he was 14 when we first see him in crisis core. he's a young teenager who left a home that never felt like home to achieve a dream everyone told him was impossible. but that didn’t deter him! stubborn optimism + the need to prove himself right there. when he was shown just a little bit of kindness from zack he immediately latched on (like a chocobo chick). when he didn’t need to act defensive, bc zack was being nice, he's super sweet and smiley. he didn’t get along with the kids back in nibelheim, and that made him think he was better than them and started getting in a lot of fights (typical of kids who are rejected by their peers) but he tried to save tifa despite hating her friends

so: lonely, stubborn, optimistic and idealistic almost to a fault, had a chip the size of sister ray on his shoulder, probably just managed to get a handle on his temper because of the army, not used to people being nice, and (most importantly) cared so much about everything and everyone all the time. that last one probably wasn’t quite as strong yet, because there’s a lot of resentment toward the world and bitterness, but i think it was always there, just hidden.

then his hometown, with his mother in it, was burned to the ground by his hero. his childhood friend was hurt, his current friend was hurt, and he doesn't know if either of them would survive. he was assuming that he also wasn’t going to survive, he just refused to go down without a fight. after that he spent 4 years floating in a mako tube and being experimented on. who knows how long he was lucid, how much of that he remembers, before the mako poisoning kicked in. then there's the year(ish) on the run, during which he only gets flashes of zack caring for him.

he became conscious literally just in time to see zack die. because square is the actual devil. zack asked this kid (yeah sure he's 21 now, but mentally he's closer to 16 let's be real) to be his living legacy. zack is clouds hero and his best friend and suddenly all of his hopes and dreams are resting on clouds shoulders, because zack died keeping him alive. that absolutely is too much, on its own but especially on top of everything else in his recent memory. 

the mako poisoning isn't fully done either, as hes still stumbling as he goes into midgar and tifa spends a few months helping him recover. his brain is still scrambling to work through all of that and make him a functioning human.

so his mind is a scattered mess from trauma, torture, poisoning, and then even more trauma happening in rapid succession. (rapid in his mind. because most of the last 5 years is just a painful blur in his memories). so his brain does what it can to try and fix itself so he can be relativity ok again. it takes his old personality, it latches on to the fact that he's now burdened as living for both himself and zack, and then it wraps itself up in the awful coping mechanism of amnesia in order to help him move past the horrific traumas. 

his brain literally went "yeah we can't deal with all of this so... let's not" and made him forget about everything that happened directly after nibelheim burned. and in the process of rewriting his memories to block out the bad, while holding tightly onto the fact that he needed to live for zack, it sorta just smooshed zack into the mix like they were the same person. 

I think the confidence (which is from now thinking he’s zack) is really the biggest difference in how cloud portrays himself here. he doesn't feel the need to prove himself (why should he, he was a soldier first class) or be defensive and lose his temper. and then you mix in the coping mechanisms. which I believe is what the distance and devil may care bits come from - more attempts from his brain at protecting itself. his mind snapped because it couldn't handle the overwhelming emotions, so it decided no more emotions. because we all know cloud is a deeply caring person, "there's not a thing I don't cherish" didn't just happen in ac, that's always been there, just buried under trauma.

i do think there’s a few more bits and pieces he took from zack. the confidence is key, but there’s also the little things. scratching at the back of his hair, doing squats, being more willing to step up as leader, and doing more flashy moves are the ones i can clearly point at and say ‘yeah that seems more a zack thing than a cloud thing’.

so anyway. confidence and aloofness together means he acts kinda like a little bitch at first. 

but "let's mosey" I mean come on. that's all cloud. his real personality is there. it's just jumbled up with whatever his brain could patch together to keep him sane. and it doesn't really take that long before he starts showing how much he cares. he keeps saving people and gets ridiculously attached to everyone in the party. I think a big part of it was the plate dropping. that was just such an awful moment with so much unnecessary death that he couldn't NOT care. and once that started pushing through the walls he put up to keep all emotions away to avoid the pain, there really wasn't any stopping it. though he certainly does try, it really only delays the inevitable. it's a case of the words don't match the actions, where he tries to be all grr I don't care and yet everything he does shows that's a lie. so by the time he's about to have his trip down memory lane, he really is almost entirely himself. just with extra confidence and without all the trauma. 

and I have lots of thoughts on his personality after the wacky trip through his mind, but that's a different post entirely. 

tl;dr I think cloud is primarily showing his real personality, and now he's got zacks confidence to keep him from holding back, but also in self defense has tried to block off his emotions along with his memories. the emotions break through a lot faster than the memories, but it's not all at once and he still fights against it subconsciously. 

[7hyuns]

exo as doms or subs

a/n; so uh i know i’ve been Dead for a long time but this is just a lil update while i finally commit to finishing a fic [also i’m gonna add the read more at the top again bc it’s uhh lengthy this time....] [also again uh the fic should be up soon!!]

junmyeon; 

overall; 

alright he’s a dom

but i honestly don’t think he’s a hardcore dom with a big ass daddy kink

i mean ok he has a daddy kink but it’s,, idk he isn’t as hardcore as i’ve seen him depicted as

anyway i think in general he’s probably got a big ass daddy kink

and he’d love giving you cute nicknames and even cuter lingerie

but i don’t think he’d be into too many different kinks

i do believe he’d have set kinks and wouldn’t really want to stray from them too much

however! he’d be happy to indulge a few of yours as long as they didn’t go against anything he wasn’t into

i don’t think he’d particularly like inflicting pain but if it was like a Big Kink for you then he’d indulge it a lil bit

so yeah uh in conclusion he’s definitely in charge and he’s definitely a top but i don’t necessarily think he’s an ultra hardcore dom

kinks: 

daddy

probably only likes indulging a pain kink in the form of spanking (giving)

lingerie ! (i think especially silk) (on you)

light restriction (giving)

hand holding oof

praise (giving)

lowkey enjoys receiving praise though

punishments;

wouldn’t be many

you could definitely get away with quite a lot

but, if he finally Snapped and got to it then you’d definitely know oof

he would be really irritated that it actually got to a point where he had to punish you

because he expects a lot more of you than for you to act up like that

so he’d probably stick to spanking as a punishment but i don’t think he’d talk or say anything throughout

doesn’t really use any other but would occasionally overstimulate you

aftercare; 

completely over the top

he’s very thorough

asks a million questions so he knows you’re feeling ok

hates the idea that he might have either hurt you/not made you feel good enough

probably orders takeout and watches a movie you’ve both seen a hundred times before

is just very focused on you feeling good and being in a good mood before you sleep

would be very attentive if you wanted to talk to him

but he’d also be very quiet if you seemed to just want to chill out and not say anything

overall i think he’d just be very good at handling aftercare even if it wasn’t entirely necessary  

minseok; 

overall;

a dom

a dom i am thoroughly afraid of

anyway he’s the biggest dom in exo don’t @ me on this

i think he’s probably lowkey a sadist

his kinks would also probably slip out of the bedroom sometimes but i don’t think it’d be a consistent all the time thing

lives for when you act like a brat! he’d find it so funny that you think there’s even the slightest possibility he’d overlook it

also he loves punishing you so he’d find an excuse to all the time

i also think he’d tease you in public literally all the time just because he knows he can

has no fear if you moan in public then that’s on you and he’d just be like “what was that? did you say something? repeat yourself for us”

the only time i think he’d panic over it is if it was in front of like family or something,,, which i mean now he knows not to tease you under the table of a family dinner again

really, really wants you to be vocal so he can tell that he’s making you feel good

kinks; 

alright he’s got a lengthy list

but the biggest ones are:

pain (giving)

also the king of dirty talk (giving)

grinding (giving)

scratching (receiving)

hair pulling (giving)

biting (giving and receiving)

choking (giving)

light slapping (giving)

bondage (giving)

blindfolds (giving)

punishments;

so anyway punishments are one of his favourite things

absolutely adores when you just apologise/thank him without him having to tell you because ! that’s his whole ass baby

is into literally everything he can do lol

likes spanking but he finds it a lil bit repetitive (and he knows u like it)

uses orgasm denial a lot just because i mean who genuinely likes that for a long period of time

and when i say a long period of time i mean he wouldn’t really stop until you literally begged him

like. ur gonna end up crying and he’s just gonna be like “¯\_(ツ)_/¯ this is your fault, isn’t it?”

but ! if you apologise and/or beg and whine he…..melts

he’d just find it so endearing?? idk he’d love it a whole bunch

tells you to keep your hands to yourself but doesn’t tie them as a punishment

tells you to not make any noise (as a side note for this: you would literally always break this and he wouldn’t ever actually punish you over it because as i said earlier: he loves when you make noise for him)

aftercare; 

so many lil forehead kisses it’s unbelievable

wants to spend a couple minutes just holding you and being silent

he’s probably pretty messy during so he’d definitely want to tidy up

wants to change the bedsheets so you gotta go shower

he’d either join you in the shower after he’s done fixing everything back up

or he’d just wait for you to be done in the bathroom before he’d insist on redressing you himself

i think he would just wanna sleep pretty soon after getting everything tidy again

but he’d pull you into a really close cuddle before he fell asleep just so he “knows you’re still there”

you’d probably ask him one night something like “where else would i go wtf”

and he’d just pull you into the exact same cuddle n be like “idk bro somewhere…….”  

yixing;

overall;

anyway, he’s a dom

the only reason people don’t think he’s a dom is because of the trope that he’s an innocent confused cute dumb boy

and i mean i’m sorry to ruin that but like. he’s not

having said that i don’t know whether he’d fully pick up on your kinks/you being a sub until things get heated between you for the first time

and then i think from there he’d just get more and more comfortable in being the more dominant one

for some reason i think he’d feel a lil bit weird being overly dominant for a while? because he’d be worried about it being a dynamic you weren’t into

but i think if you reassured him about it then he’d get a lot more into it

he might not even fully realise that he’s initially being the more dominant one because it’s probably a natural reaction for him

i don’t think he’d ever bottom but i do think he’d leave it open quite often for you to take a lil bit of control and tell him what you want

he’d also be pretty stoic and blunt during because he’d already know you’re into it lmao

kinks; 

just being a dom is a big kink for him

probably has a thigh kink

this man ! i bet he has an oral kink

probably mainly for giving but like…he’s not gonna say no if you offer

also lingerie (i think he’d like really fancy over the top kind of stuff) (on you)

also. he’s a romantic man you know

he lovs hand holding

and kissing !!! lots and lots of kissing

are makeout sessions classed as a kink

anyway. he also likes bondage too (giving)

punishments;

“i’m not mad i’m just disappointed”

he totally isn’t disappointed at all though we already know

he keeps the act up though!

makes you apologise when he spanks you and acts like you’ve personally offended him

isn’t into overstimulation because like he thinks that’s too nice for u

i think his biggest go-to punishment is spanking 100%

but he’s definitely into orgasm denial too just because he loves you getting desperate for him

but at the same time i don’t think he’d feel the need to punish you for a lot? like i don’t think he’d get jealous very easily so that wouldn’t be an issue

however…….teasing him……..a big No

it wld always make him so mad because. what is the reason

so if that ever happened the punishment is extended x20 i mean good luck ever getting off he can hold a grudge lol

aftercare; 

actual angel or zhang yixing? who can tell

lil kisses!! forehead kisses, cheek kisses, nose kisses

wants you to eat but he can’t cook :/// so you gotta order in

ok but he’s definitely the type to wanna shower together

but…he’d be a lil bit too nervous to actually fuck in the shower because? what happens if he drops you? what happens if he falls? there’s way too much that could go wrong

would be cool with going down on you in the shower though :) lucky you

probably puts you in fancy pyjamas afterwards

then u know,, time to sleep

he doesn’t really wanna do anything else tbh he’s sleepy

jongdae; 

overall; 

hm i don’t think he’s massively into the dom sub roles

i think he’d have a default for being the more dominant one and he’s  usually on top

but if you went to top him he wouldn’t have any issue with it

i wouldn’t say he’s vanilla but i don’t think he’d have many kinks going into a relationship

i do think more would develop the longer he was with someone

but he’d find quite a lot of kinky stuff a lil bit gross and off-putting

having said that he’d be pretty open-minded about trying new stuff with you

it might take him a while to be comfortable enough to casually talk about different things to try

but once he is it would just be completely normal to have him bring up something he’s heard of and wants to try literally anywhere

you could be sat at a breakfast table with him and he’d get halfway through his cereal before he’d be like “what about choking should we try that out?”  

kinks; 

ok so he’d pretty much try everything that’s not massively extreme out

but the ones he enjoyed most and wanted to do again would be

hair pulling (receiving)

bondage (giving and receiving)

light choking (giving)

dry humping (he would literally never admit to liking this because he’d be lowkey embarrassed bc it’s in his top three kinks)

marking (giving)

scratching (receiving)  

punishments;

there wouldn’t be any for either of you !!

aftercare; 

i think he’d either fall asleep straight after

or he’d wanna stay up and watch a movie for a lil bit

either way he’d be pretty clingy and would wanna be touching you the whole time

i know it’s annoying when people play into the tropes of their personality but oh my god he would be so whiny

just wants to cuddle and then sleep and occasionally give you about fifty kisses

baekhyun; 

(i was gonna use a more recent gif but. i love this one with more than my whole heart)

overall;

an iconic switch

leaning much toward being a sub

would be a tease whether he was a bottom or a top

loves provoking you! it’s his hobby and his passion

so difficult as a sub he listens to nothing you say

laughs when you try and tell him what to do

laughs even more when you actually punish him

he literally gets so much enjoyment out of being scolded it’s ridiculous

the Biggest Brat

it’s honestly like he has a check list of stuff he isn’t supposed to do and goes through it every day

because he loves punishments but that’s beside the point

anyway, tease him in public because he absolutely loves it

he ! is ! the ! king ! of ! dirty ! talk

whether he’s the bottom or the top, he won’t shut up

kinks; 

there’s so many i’ll just list a few

bondage (receiving) (also loves being restrained but bondage beats it out)

blindfolds (receiving)

choking (giving and receiving)

hair pulling (receiving)

lowkey i think he just likes being manhandled lmao

degrading (giving and receiving)

worship (giving)

praise (receiving)

ice play (receiving)

probably wax play or some shit oof (receiving)

punishments; 

alright so for him very few work

your threats of not getting him off at all don’t work because “then i’ll just get myself off :)”

like i said, he loves punishments

he loves it when he gets overstimulated, he loves it when he gets his orgasms denied, he loves getting blindfolded, he loves getting tied up, he just ! loves using different kinks

however ! i feel like one he would be into but would still view as a punishment is actually spanking

like have you seen how whiny that boy is?? he pouts, he complains, he whines, he begs

so, yeah, spanking works but! he doesn’t wanna do it often just bc sometimes he just genuinely isn’t in the mood to fully indulge his/your pain kink you know

for you, though, he thinks spanking is a bit boring

he would much rather get creative with them and try and either overstimulate/deny your orgasms in public  

aftercare; 

is either sleepy and wants to cuddle up to you and go straight to sleep

or he wants everything to be completely over the top !

wants to cuddle and watch a movie, wants to be praised n given lil kisses, wants a warm bath with nice ass soaps, wants candy and all of his favourite foods

or he’ll literally just fall asleep the second you’re untangled from each other

you’d still try and clean him up though (to which he would pout and try to turn over so he could sleep without being disturbed)

grins really big when you give him forehead kisses !!! like !!! that’s his favourite thing about aftercare by far

if he’d been the dom, i think his aftercare would be pretty similar to him getting aftercare if that makes sense?

he’d always make sure you were ok but he’d still most likely just wanna sleep straight away  

chanyeol; 

overall; 

i….honestly think he’s a dom

like i know a lot of people see him as a sub

but i just don’t ://

with that being said! let’s get into the theories it

i don’t think he’d be a very soft dom loll

i don’t even mean that i think he’s into really hardcore stuff i just mean that’s he rude

you’d probably be shook the first time you slept together because?? he’s always so smiley and adorable?? where did this come from??

i think he’d also forget just how BigTM he is sometimes so he might accidentally grip u too tight

but you’d be thinking it’s for the kink because i mean ur into it

and then you’d bruise and he’d be like “??? how did this happen i am the worst person”

so that’s why you two would have to actually talk about your kinks

again, he’s one of the members that wouldn’t fully realise he’s being the more dominant one until you actually discussed it lmao  

kinks; 

hm i don’t think he’d have many going into the relationship

but he’d definitely develop more the longer you were together!!

choking (giving)

hair pulling (giving and receiving)

body worship (receiving)

dirty talk (giving because he loves having an affect on you that isn’t like. done by him directly u know)

i think he probably likes to be giggly and light-hearted sometimes !!!!!!  

hand holding because he’s soft really

restriction !!! (giving)

punishments; 

honestly. he’s mean

gets a lil bit more aggressive

i think he sticks mostly to spanking

but he’d definitely be into overstimulation i just think he’d use it as more of a reward

orgasm denial is another go-to but only when he has enough effort to hold out too lol

if there was gonna be longer punishments (such as spanking/orgasm denial etc.) he would definitely make it clear you could hold his hand after a while !!

but seriously if you whined/begged him for a longer amount of time during orgasm denial bitch. he’s done ! like. punishment over. that’s his baby

aftercare; 

the ONLY man i know

he’d literally go from 100 back down to 0

his dom mood is just over immediately?

he’d be really attentive !!!

if you wanted to talk then he’d listen to you ramble about stuff and answer you coherently every time

tries to make you whatever food you want or if he couldn’t he’d literally go wherever to get whatever it was with you

has a playlist to listen to if you go on drives/when you clean up

he isn’t too bothered about getting everything massively tidy but he would probably wanna shower

if you wanted to join him he’d probably wash himself off n then you :(

lots of giggling!!!! he would just be smiling at u really softly and giving you lil forehead kisses and playing with your hair while you two calmed down

sleeping w/o cuddling chanyeol would literally be considered a crime by him so if you wanna sleep after that’s the rule

kyungsoo; 

overall; 

haha ! goodbye

he’s a dom don’t slander his name

i think he’s probably verging on being a sadist or he just is a sadist lol

he couldn’t bottom even if he tried

and he really would try if you asked him to but he just wouldn’t like it at all

probably does stuff to make you break rules he’s set (which he would because he’s extra) on purpose so he has an excuse to be extra mean

honestly his face just doesn’t change. ever

but he’d definitely internally panic so much if you ever looked even in the vaguest bit uncomfortable

anyway. i firmly believe that he’s not into public teasing and if you pulled that on him he’d be genuinely mad

i don’t think the dynamic would go out of the bedroom intentionally? but i do think it’d slip out accidentally a few times

kinks; 

choking (giving)

pain in general (giving)

doesn’t really like any type of power struggle

brat taming brat taming brat taming brat taming

vocal command king wow (giving)

slapping goodbye (giving)

bondage (giving)

he’s probably into like. most bdsm stuff lol

punishments; 

alright they can go on for quite a while

you’d probably think you’d genuinely upset him

he wouldn’t talk very much, and when he did it would all be degradation

makes you second guess yourself?? like you’d do something and he’d just raise his eyebrows at you or tilt his head

deadass would ask you directly why you’d done whatever he was punishing you for

says whatever answer you give him isn’t good enough

definitely uses bondage/blindfolding/gagging together as a punishment like. bye

reminds you of all the different things you can do if you want him to stop before he goes straight into punishments

will deny your orgasms and then overstimulate you until you’re crying from both of them  

doesn’t tell you to but expects you to apologise and thank him if he’s spanking you

wouldn’t even touch you until he felt like you deserved it lol

aftercare; 

very necessary!!!

he goes over all the main points

always reminds you that he doesn’t mean the degrading

so much praise !

being called a good girl/boy by kyungsoo is the highest form of praise and he only does it during aftercare

feather-light kisses ! hundreds of them !

cooks for you, makes sure you drink at least a whole bottle of water

would talk really softly to you while you fall asleep just so you know he’s there for u :(  

asks a million times if there’s anything you want/need him to do

jongin; 

overall; 

lmao i think he’d probably be a service sub bye

like. he isn’t a dom but if you wanted to be the sub then! suddenly he’s a certified dom

but i do think if it was just up to him he’d be the sub

he’s into whatever works out for you!!!

as a dom, i think he’d probably be really weak-willed u know

like. no punishments unless u wanted them, only indulges kinks u like etc.

but as a sub!! oh boy

i don’t think he’d be too much of a brat but he definitely could be one

i think it really just depends on his mood

because he kinda seems like he’d be a total baby boy too

anyways, he’d lowkey (not that he would ever admit it) like being teased in public

he’d love being degraded and praised at the same time? like it’d just make him blush so much?

dirty talk is his biggest weakness ! he’d be so easily flustered by it lmao  

kinks; 

lowkey is hand holding a kink

hair pulling (receiving)

oral (receiving) (i do however believe he’d be one of the best at giving in exo)

i think he’d be really into foreplay just in general? he’d really like finding different things to incorporate into it

restraints (receiving)

praise (giving and receiving)

body worship (giving)

degrading (receiving)

dirty talk (receiving)

punishments; 

hm he’d get quite sensitive during punishments i think

like: every time you touched him if he’d have a blindfold on he’d jump

every time you did anything when he was handcuffed he’d tug at them

is completely willing to beg if that’s what you want from him

honestly full offence but punishing jongin would just be really hot

he’d be so reactive to everything you did it’d be impossible not to want to give him more

lives for having his orgasms denied because he really does try and prove just how far and how long he’s willing to hold out for you

he’d be so tensed up and he’d definitely be biting back his moans if you told him to and you would just be able to see his eyes glazing over with tears slightly

would actually be so appreciative when you finally end the punishment?? like you’d go to praise him and he’d already be stuttering out praise for you  

aftercare; 

wants all the hugs! all the kisses! all the praise!

will literally not be left alone for aftercare

you gotta be with him because he’d just kinda attach himself to you and then. not let go until you both went to sleep

gets a lil restless sometimes and would wanna watch something and just chill out for a lil bit before sleeping

but even then you gotta be touching

he’d get so soft if you made him eat and drink because !! he loves being showed affection afterwards  

when you finally go to sleep he’d 100% want to be the little spoon you can’t change my mind

sehun; 

(say nothing about the gif i would sell my soul for it)

overall; 

a true switch

honestly switches so often it’s hard to actually keep up

switches every day, sometimes you’d be the dom and then half way through he’d be like “:/ funny that u think u can dom me”

sehun just. will not beg. ever. he’d complain all the time but like who is begging? he doesn’t know her

but, you’d still wanna get sehun to beg eventually

which is why you two had to have a safeword real early on lmao

as a sub, i think he’d be whiny and he’d complain and tease you

but would also be shocked when he gets punished? like what did he think was gonna happen? he doesn’t know but not this

as a dom, he would literally use any excuse to punish you like?

it’d get to the point where one of your rules had to be that whatever either of you did as doms couldn’t be used to give a reason for punishment (he highly dislikes this punishment)

he’s a brat whether he’s the dom or the sub

sometimes it wouldn’t even be about you switching it’d just be because he was annoying you loll

as a dom i think he’d be pretty sadistic and mean

but he’d also be rlly into being on the receiving end of that

teases you and then laughs when you get upset because it’s just a joke to him :,) 

kinks; 

i’m about to say it; he’d have a kink for receiving anything

oral (receiving)

dirty talk (giving)

degrading (giving and receiving)

worship (receiving)

pain (giving and receiving)

hair pulling (giving)

biting (giving and receiving)

choking (giving and receiving)

having his fingers in ur mouth lol  

punishments; 

oh boy

sehun whenever he’s a sub: knows he’s done something you directly told him not

you whenever you’re a dom: punishes him for it

sehun: :O

he’s such a brat you’d have to punish him almost all the time

he’d put up such a fight? like, if you restrained him he’d try and get out of them all the time??

like i said, he will not ever beg for anything

so you’d deny his orgasms and tell him to beg for it and he just wouldn’t

he would literally be verging on crying from how frustrated he was n all of his muscles and his jaw wld be tensed up and he would refuse to beg

eventually you’d have to give up or he’d have to safeword

actually dislikes being overstimulated just because he’d find it more uncomfortable than nice

wld let you occasionally as a punishment though

but! he loves overstimulating you as a punishment lmao

i honestly think he’d be pretty into making you cry rip because “i like to know i’m making you feel good :,)”

would spank you but not often because there’s nothing in it for him  

aftercare; 

i think it’d be important

but i also think you’d both have to do it for each other no matter who was the dom and who was the sub u know

like, you just gotta take a few quiet minutes together to re-collect yourselves from whatever role/s you were in that night

he’d wanna spend a little while just talking softly about how both of you are doing

definitely gets you both matching pyjamas to wear afterwards

isn’t afraid to wear a blanket like a cape n watch a cartoon w you if that’s what you wanted to do

but you’d have to get him snacks ready :)

would probably wanna be the little spoon after he’d been the sub and the big spoon after he’d been the dom  

[gxldensnitched]

undeniable (part 2/?)

I just finished this! It’s posted on AO3 and a few posts back if you haven’t read the first part :) I decided to make this a little Albus centric bc I love him, so I hope you enjoy!

There were a lot of things that Albus Potter was good at. Things that might actually come in useful, like potions or charms. He was quite skilled at defence (he firmly believed that his father’s additional holiday lessons had nothing to do with that) and while flying, he could pull out of a sharp drive with his broom (and bones) fully intact. 

But one thing that completely stumped him was history. He hated learning the names and tales of witches and wizards who’d helped “pave the way” as Professor Binns claimed, towards modern magic. It was something he deemed completely unnecessary. After all, what was there to gain by knowing when Stupefy was first used? Or the duration of the goblin revolution? 

Albus personally thought History was boring. They didn’t do much besides take notes and listen to their ghastly professor drone on and on about wars, warlocks, and on good days, historical potion making. 

Albus buried his face in his arms, closing his eyes. It may be dreadful, but history was a great class to take if you wanted to catch up on your sleep. He’d often joked that insomniacs could merely listen to a tape recording of one of Binns’ lessons, and they’d be able to fall asleep in no time. Rose had rolled her eyes, but everyone else laughed, so he paid her no mind. She had an awful sense of humour anyway. 

The caffeine he’d consumed that morning fought to keep him awake, and after half an hour of trying to rest with no avail, he let out a frustrated sigh and lifted his head back up. 

“Good morning, grumpy pants. You only missed every point that Binns said would be on our OWLs,” came Rose’s bored whisper from the seat beside him. 

“It’s afternoon, and I wasn’t asleep,” was his response, which came out muffled as he decided burying his face in his arms was still a better option than trying and failing to listen to the lecture while Rose poked him with her quill whenever he zoned out.

He heard Rose’s sigh and the scratching of her quill on parchment, and smiled into his arms slightly as he realized she wasn’t going to sacrifice her precious note taking time to try and keep him alert. 

After a few minutes of not so satisfying rest, the class slowly started to increase in volume, and Albus looked back up. 

“Is class over already?” He asked, as people began to stand up. 

“No, Albus. He said we could collaborate to answer the questions on the board. You have a terrible sense of hearing, you know that?” Rose asked, but there was no real malice in her voice. 

“If my hearing is so terrible, why do I know that Yann Fredericks is planning to ask you to the Valentine’s ball?” He said with a raise of his brow, looking up at his cousin smugly.

Rose’s freckled skin went pink, and she shot him a glare that wasn’t up to her usual standards. The look of satisfaction on her face couldn’t be missed, even as she turned to head away from their shared desk. 

“You’re going to abandon me? You know none of my friends were stupid enough to take this horrible class again, Rose!” Albus whined, pulling on Rose’s arm to hold her back. Despite her bossiness and love of control, she was a good partner to work with. Especially when you didn’t know a thing about a subject. 

She turned around with an exasperated look on her face, one that Albus was quite accustomed to. He didn’t mind, he loved getting a rise out of her, even if it meant getting a scolding from his mum. 

“You can sit with my friends and I. If you behave,” she replied, pulling him off the seat. 

“Your friends are all girls.” 

“So?”

“So, that’s a little weird.”

“You’re a little weird, Albus. Besides, Polly would love to work with you.” Rose gave him a slight smile, and he groaned. 

“Absolutely not,” he protested, stopping in his tracks. 

Polly Chapman had been his girlfriend of a pitiful two months, before she’d declared her love for him over dinner and he’d promptly spat out his pumpkin juice. All over the front of her new silk robes, to be specific.

In her defence, they had only been in third year. Raging hormones was Rose’s explanation. 

“Oh, give her another chance!” Rose said, putting an arm around his shoulders and pushing him towards the opposite end of the room. “She hasn’t gotten over you and you know it!” 

“She told me she loved me! We’d only kissed eight times!” 

“You were thirteen, Al! And you seriously kept count?”

Albus’s cheeks grew slightly pink, but pulled away from her. 

“I’ll work alone. Or with the vast array of nerds in this class whose names I don’t even know.” Albus watched with an expression of mock betrayal as his cousin headed over to her group of girls, where he locked eyes with Polly for a brief second before hastily turning away.

“Suit yourself!” Rose said, not looking back. 

Albus ran his hand through his jet black hair with a sigh, looking around the room to see if he could spot at least one person he knew who wouldn’t spend the period gawking at him. His bright eyes scanned the room before falling on a familiar white-blond head of neatly combed hair. 

Scorpius Malfoy would be the perfect partner. After all, his knowledge of potions surpassed even Albus’s own, which made him a certified genius in Albus’s eyes. He’d been much nicer than Albus had expected, and the last time they’d worked together was surprisingly pleasant. Not to mention the way Scorpius seemed to know the reason behind everything, from why you shouldn’t add too much lavender sprigs to why Slughorn had paired them together in the first place. 

He quietly approached Scorpius, who was sitting a few rows ahead of him, books and papers strewn all over his desk. 

“Hey.”

Scorpius startled, dropping his peacock feather quill onto his parchment, creating a coal black smudge.

He turned around to face Albus, a mixture of confusion and relief when he saw who it was. 

“Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Albus said, giving him an apologetic smile, while also trying not to laugh. He made a mental note to sneak up on Scorpius more often, except next time he’d do it when Scorpius was empty handed.

“Oh, it’s okay, I have plenty of parchment, anyway.” He gestured to the mess on his desk, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“I can see that.” Albus shot him a smile before sitting down. Scorpius’s eyes widened slightly, as if he thought Albus was just passing his desk on the way to someone else’s.

“What? Is this seat taken?” Albus asked, confused. 

“No, it’s not that! You’re completely welcome to sit here.” He paused. “I’m just... wondering... why?” 

“My cousin’s being annoying, and you’re a better partner than her anyway. Unless you were planning on working alone? I can leave if you want.” 

“No!” Scorpius added, a little too quickly. Seeming to notice, he added “I mean, I was. But I’d rather work with you, obviously. If that’s what you want?” 

“That’s why I walked all the way over here,” Albus replied, emphasizing the words all the way and gesturing to his desk, only a few steps behind Scorpius’s. 

He shot Scorpius a sideways grin before fishing around in his bag for a piece of parchment. 

“Oh, right. Obviously.” Scorpius blushed, and Albus laughed. 

“You don’t have to be so nervous, you know! I’m not going to curse you or anything.” Albus laughed, and Scorpius’s shoulders loosened. Albus was used to people being nervous around him, but this felt different. Oddly enough, he felt a little nervous himself. It must have been because of the whole Malfoy-Potter rivalry thing. 

“I know, sorry. It’s just that you’re Albus Potter.” Scorpius spoke lightly, sounding posh even when he was nervous. 

“And you’re Scorpius Malfoy.” Albus responded. “Wanna make a bet?” 

This seemed to scare Scorpius slightly, and his eyes widened. Albus couldn’t help but notice how grey they were. They reminded Albus of thunderstorms, the comforting kind that make you want to snuggle up in bed with coffee (or butterbeer, if he was in the mood) and a book. He’d never met anyone with thunderstorm eyes before, and it took a while for him to pull his own gaze away. 

“A bet?” Scorpius asked.

“M-hmm. If you apologize one more time during the remainder of this class - which, I might add, is a double period - you have to be my potions partner for the rest of the month.” Albus grinned, and Scorpius visibly relaxed, letting out a breath. 

“That doesn’t seem like much of a punishment,” he pointed out. “And what if I win?”

“Then...” Albus pondered for a moment. “I’ll show you something... special.”

Scorpius seemed intrigued. He leaned closer to Albus than he was before. Albus took advantage of this, wriggling his eyebrows. He lowered his voice to a whisper.

“It’s something you’d never get a chance to see with your own eyes. It will utterly enchant you.” He said, in the dramatic voice he usually reserved for babysitting Lily and Hugo, when he’d had to make something mediocre sound interesting in order to keep them still. 

This, however, was far from mediocre.

“I formally agree to this bet,” Scorpius said, and Albus wanted to roll his eyes at how he talked. He sounded like Albus would have when he was trying to imitate one of the annoying, overly serious business wizards his father often complained about. 

“Good.” Albus flashed him a wide grin, and Scorpius reciprocated, making him wonder why he’d never done this sooner. 

“Shall we get started?” Scorpius asked, rearranging the supplies on his desk.

“Do we have to?” 

“Technically, no. Failing is always an option.” Scorpius responded thoughtfully.

“I really can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not.” Albus laughed. “Although if you’re serious, we might as well ditch right now and go flying.” 

Scorpius laughed. 

“It wasn’t sarcasm, but failing isn’t really an option,” He said, as he started to copy down the questions from the blackboard. 

His writing was neat and loopy, and all his letters looked the same. That was a feat Albus could only dream of accomplishing, and he quickly flipped to a piece of empty parchment, hoping that Scorpius hadn’t gotten a glimpse of his scrawly, almost unintelligible handwriting. 

“I don’t care if I fail this class, to be honest.” Albus said, doodling a broomstick on the corner of his page.

Scorpius looked at him incredulously, raising his eyebrows. That had most definitely made him sound like a careless jock. 

“Not that I don’t care about my education or anything. It’s just... history is kind of useless, isn’t it?” Albus said. There was no doubt that Scorpius would agree with him, because he knew there wasn’t a pupil in all of Hogwarts who genuinely enjoyed the class. Albus would safely say he knew almost everyone in their year, and even a few students from other years, thanks to his multitude of relatives. None of them liked history. 

But Scorpius was looking at him like he’d deeply offended his great ancestors. 

“That’s not true! History paved the way towards modern magic!” 

“So I’ve heard. Every day since first year.” Albus rolled his eyes. 

“Without history, we wouldn’t have broomstick advancements. You do know that, right? Your Firebolt would be practically a tree branch. You wouldn’t be able to fly more than five miles per hour.” 

Albus put his hands up defensively. Clearly he was wrong about no one being passionate about history.

“Damn, I’m working with an actual nerd,” he said, letting out a breathy laugh. 

Scorpius paused for a moment, and it looked like he was contemplating whether Albus had meant that as a joke or as an insult. He seemed to have decided on joke, and he gave Albus an embarrassed smile as he turned back to his empty parchment. 

“You know the point of working together is so that we can get more done,” Scorpius pointed out, and Albus had to refrain from rolling his eyes. This was like working with a male version of a slightly nicer Rose. 

“Really?” Albus responded sarcastically. “I thought it was to make this dreadful class a little bit more bearable.” 

Scorpius paused before responding.

“This is my favourite class.” 

Albus almost choked.

“Seriously? No, for real?” He asked in disbelief. 

“Yes, I think history is fascinating. I mean, look at all the spells that have been created in the last decade!”

“They’re alright.” 

“Alright? They’re wonderful! You can practically do anything you want using magic nowadays.” Scorpius said dreamily, gazing off into space. Albus desperately wanted to ask Scorpius if he had a thing for historians, but he refrained. 

“You can make your bed, comb your hair, and even tie your shoes using a simple incantation!” Scorpius continued, now incorporating in some hand gestures. Albus felt like he was watching one of those muggle infomercials that often came on TV. 

“No offence, but if I needed magic to tie my own shoes, I’d probably never show my face in public.” Albus responded, rolling his eyes. 

“That’s besides the point!” 

“Okay, okay, I guess you’re right...” Albus lied, still as eager to leave the class as he was before. Not even history nerd Scorpius Malfoy could change his opinion on this subject. 

Scorpius gave him a small smile before returning to his work. 

Albus watched him write, occasionally jotting down some answers of his own. He tried to slow down, making his letters a little bit more legible than they normally were. He couldn’t help but notice how much more relaxed Scorpius had gotten since the first time they’d worked together. 

Scorpius was currently gazing at his desk, with his chin in one hand and fancy quill in the other. The only other wizards he’d seen use peacock feathers were high level ministry workers at his father’s workplace. His father owned one too, of course, but Harry had always been more of the traditional sort, sometimes even using muggle pens. 

“Do... you need something?” Scorpius’s voice broke him out of his thoughts, and he realized he’d been staring. 

“Huh? Oh, sorry,” Albus said, turning away with a little shake of his head. “I was just... admiring your quill. It’s very nice.” 

Way to make yourself sound smooth, Albus thought to himself, cringing. 

But Scorpius didn’t seem to notice, and he gave Albus a warm beam.

“Thanks! It was a Christmas gift from my father. I think he got tired of buying me books, he says I probably already own the whole bookstore. Which isn’t true, of course. One can never have too many books!” Scorpius rambled. It was something he seemed to do a lot, but Albus didn’t mind. 

“You sound like Rose.” Albus laughed. “She’s almost as big of a nerd as you, I bet you’d get along well.” 

“Maybe, if she didn’t hate my guts.” Scorpius pointed out.

“She doesn’t.”

“How do you know?”

“She’s my cousin. We usually tend to have the same opinions on people.” 

“And what exactly is your opinion?”

Albus thought for a moment. What was his opinion? 

For one, Scorpius Malfoy seemed like the polar opposite of what he’d heard. Albus didn’t think he’d ever met anyone so sweet in his life. Other than grandma Molly, of course. 

He was also a huge nerd. That much was obvious. 

Apart from that, Albus didn’t know what else to think. He couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something he should do. 

As Scorpius’s eyes met his own, he pondered what to say. He couldn’t lift his gaze, and for the first time, he couldn’t find the words to express himself, which was saying a lot considering he’d been told by many that his quick witted responses were so good that he should consider a career in magical law. 

So he settled on the truth, and shot Scorpius a small grin. The subtle, smirky kind that made his eyes flash and almost always got him what he wanted. 

“I like you.” 

[katzuyas]

I’ve been tagged in so many things over the past couple of weeks that I honestly don’t even have much more bookmark space left in my browser RIP so I finally decided to do all of it at once, hence the title and the rest of this longass post under the cut

bc there’s a lot of the tag games down there and tagging a million people would be annoying, I’m gonna tag 10 of you to grab a dice and roll it to figure out which meme you’re tagged for ^u^)b if you roll the same number twice, count that meme as the start from which to count and roll again! I hope you like this idea, but it’s only a suggestion so feel free to do whatever you want tbh?

@sweet-vitya, @gabzjones, @and-then-yoi-happened, @etherealalchemist, @joeys-piano, @quadruplyyours, @yuliaplisetskaya, @dreaming-fireflies, @teekettle, @iwritebetterthanispeak, @chessala

enjoy, if you want! 💕💕

tagged by @endlesscloudsoftime, thank you for the tag!!

rules: answer 20 questions, then tag 20 bloggers that you want to get to know better.

1. Name: kat

2. Nicknames: same tbh

3. Height: 170cm

4. Orientation: who knows who cares (it’s pan)

5. Nationality: polish

6. Favorite fruit: mango, cherries, I love watermelon too but the seeds piss me off too much to fully enjoy it

7. Favorite season: anything that doesn’t make me sweat off my skin but isn’t also freezing my toes is more than fine with me ^u^)b

8. Favorite plant: I don’t think I have any favs here

9. Favorite scent: I have this yankee candle ‘sweet candies’ and I can just DIE wrapped in that scent holy sheet (when it comes to perfume tho I’m a sucker for the original chloe, but I also love calvin klein’s euphoria bc it’s just Fresh)

10. Favorite color: any pastel really

11. Favorite animal: MY SWEET PUPPER HINA (so yes, dogs)

12. Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: coffee sometimes, TEA AND GREEN TEA AND VANILLA CHAI!!!!!!, hot chocolate is a nope

13. Average sleep hours: I always try for 8h bc otherwise I’m a zombie, but it doesn’t always work out so... I’m a part-time zombie anyway lmao

14. Dog or cat person: ISN’T THE PIC PROOF ENOUGH THAT I LOVE MY FURRY DOGGO SON

15. Favorite fictional character: victor nikiforov. that’s it. that’s all. we can all go home now

16. Number of blankets you sleep with: 1 + a duvet bc I like being cosy

17. Dream trip: japan, always. but another one would be a trip to the harry potter universal store or the noble collection store I guess

18. Blog created: who even remembers this pffff (somewhen in august 2011 I think)

19. Number of followers: I’m just gonna say it’s a four number figure ;3c

20. Random fact: I’m currently rewatching lord of the rings and procrastinating writing so YES I’M A NERD AND A BAD PERSON AHAHA //sweats

tagged by @story-kat -- thanks love, I actually really like these so it was great fun to do 💕

Rules: using only song titles from one artist/band, cleverly answer the questions and then tag people

artist/band: one ok rock

what is your gender: stuck in the middle

how do you feel: jaded

if you could go anywhere: start again

favorite mode of transportation: mighty long fall

your best friend: wherever you are

favorite time of day: taking off

if your life was a tv show: liar

relationship status: hard to love

your fear: bombs away

tagged by @endlesscloudsoftime, thanks again!! ahaha I feel like I’ll be saying this a lot today, but you spoil me /)u(\

Rules: tag 9 people you want to know better or just because you feel like it.

Relationship status: taken ;3c

Favorite color: any pastels, really

Last song I listened to: still the lord of the rings ost

Last movie I watched: lord of the rings lol two towers ^u^)b

Top 3 tv shows: game of thrones (bc I love my fantasy shit), rein (bc I love my history shit), and american housewife (bc I love laughing and this show is Hilarious with the capital H)

Top 3 characters: victor nikiforov bc I adore him, hinata shouyou bc he’s my sunshine son and I gotta mention miyuki kazuya bc his smirks still keep me awake at night 😍😍😍

What I’m currently reading: honestly? my own writes bc I have no time for anything other than editing orz

tagged by @themayflynans and @endlesscloudsoftime, thank you both!! 💕

A - Age: 26

B - Birthplace: poland

C - Current time: 11:50am

D - Drink you last had: just some coke

E - Easiest person to talk to: nowadays it’s gotta be @saniika and @and-then-yoi-happened bc I know I can be as salty and upset as I feel when I talk to them and that it’s alright to just let it all out which is something I wish for everyone to have 💕

F - Favourite song: don’t have one tbh

G - Grossest memory: back in elementary school my class was in warsaw to see the big zoo there and one of the chimpanzees just projectile shat all over our teacher and it was simultaneously the most awesome and the fucking WORST bc she smelled like shit the whole trip back home ugh

H - Horror yes or horror no: depends on what kind of horror but generally? meh

I - In love?: no idea tbh but definitely comfortable in my relationship

J - Jealous of people?: you’ve no idea. jelly and bitter.

L - Love at first sight or should i walk by again?: walk by and actually tell me you’re interested bc I’m a blind pan who is easily confused

M - Middle name: magdalena ;3c

N - Number of siblings: 0

O - One wish: Been keeping Salty’s answers here - yes, to learn to love myself.

P - Person you called last: my mom lol she’s the only one I call, really

Q - Question you are always asked: "so when will you start looking for a job?”

R - Reason to smile: VICTUURI!!!!!!!!!!!!!

S - Song you sang last: oh man I don’t even remember, I don’t really sing out loud

T - Time you woke up: these days? 6:30am

U - Underwear colour: sea green-blue, turquoise?

V - Vacation destination: I’m going to japan next year to see ice adolescence even if it kills me

W - Worst habit: biting the inside of my cheeks bloody

X - X-rays: my hand when I had a small accident playing badminton, my jaw for my braces

Y - Your favourite food: PIZZA HELLO

Z - Zodiac sign: gemini ;3c

tagged by @theexitgarden and @endlesscloudsoftime, bless you both and thank you for thinking of the old me 💕 

1st RULE: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better:

we’ll be skipping this one bc of reasons //sweats

2nd RULE: BOLD the statements that are true.

APPEARANCE: - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo -I have at least one piercing - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY: - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY: - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory- I am good at doing math in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES: - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority- I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES: - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite bands concert

MY LIFE: - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling- I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smartphone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS: - I am in a relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM: - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages - I have made a new friend in the past year

tagged by @story-kat and @endlesscloudsoftime (astea m’dude ur tagging me in everything and I love you for it)

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE SONG(S) TO SING?

I will most often hum or mouth lyrics when I’m writing and my brain gets distracted so it usually is some sort of acoustic cover of a rather popular song, like despacito? lol WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE FLOWER/TREE/PLANT?

I don’t have one tbh FAVOURITE COLOURS?

anything pastel!! WHAT DO YOU ALWAYS DOODLE?

I don’t anymore but it used to be some random squigglies??

HOW DO YOU TAKE YOUR COFFEE/TEA?

2.5 teaspoon of sugar into both + 1/4 milk/cream into the coffee and 1/4 cold water into the tea FAVOURITE CANDLE SCENT?

SWEET CANDIES FROM YANKEE CANDLE. BURY ME IN THIS. SUNRISE OR SUNSET?

sunrise bc I don’t even see sunsets anymore (I’m asleep then lol) WHAT PERFUME DO YOU WEAR?

the original chloe is what I like most but I would die for dior’s j’adore, it’s so nice 😍😍😍 in the summer I’m wearing masaki’s fluo tho bc it’s sweet and summery

WHAT’S YOUR GO-TO DANCE MOVE WHEN YOU’RE ALONE?

butt wiggling? maybe? idk man I never really thought about it? lol FAVOURITE QUOTE?

“Because people don’t have wings, we look for other ways to fly.” -- somehow this one always sticks with me bc it’s so beautiful and vivid that you’d never say it’s from a japanese cartoon lmao

FAVOURITE SELF CARE ROUTINE(S)?

sleeping, kicking back and watching some dumb movie that won’t make me think of anything but how dumb it is

FUZZY SOCKS OR HOUSE SLIPPERS?

both? I like fuzzy socks in winter but in summer I go barefoot but sometimes u gotta have something between your skin and the floor so = slippers WHAT COLOUR ARE YOUR EYES?

brown

WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE EYE COLOUR ON OTHERS?

I don’t honestly care but blue eyes when they’re very light creep me out somehow FAVOURITE SEASON? WHY?

don’t have one but as long as it’s not too hot or too cold I’m good NECK, CHEEK, OR NOSE KISSES?

depends on what you want to achieve? neck kisses will have me melting, cheek kisses smile and nose kisses giggle and possibly blush so YEA THERE’S THAT

WHAT DOES YOUR HAPPY PLACE LOOK LIKE?

it’s my room. that’s it. this is my happy place

FAVOURITE BREED OF DOG?

ANY DOGGO IS A GOOD DOGGO AS LONG AS IT’S NOT THOSE SMOL ONES WHO BITE UR ANKLES FOR NO REASON DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE MARRIED?

idk, I mean yes I’d like to be married one day but I’m not really in any hurry to get there? CURSIVE OR PRINT?

I don’t honestly care

FAVOURITE WEATHER?

cloudy but not too cold

tagged by @story-kat, thanks for the tag babe!!

Rules: bold what you prefer and tag 10 people.

coffee or tea

early bird or night owl

chocolate or vanilla

spring or fall

silver or gold (BOTH! BOTH IS GOOD)

pop or alternative

freckles or dimples

snakes or sharks

mountains or fields

thunderstorm or lightning

Egyptian or Greek mythology

ivory or scarlet

flute or lyre

eyes or lips

witch or fairy

opal or diamond

butterflies or honeybees

macaroons or eclairs

typewritten or handwritten letters

secret garden or secret library

rooftop or balcony

spicy or mild

opera or ballet

London or Paris

Vincent van Gogh or Claude Monet

denim or leather

potions or spells

ocean or desert

mermaid or siren

masquerade ball or cocktail party

tagged by @endlesscloudsoftime, thanks for this omg I actually wanted to do this one!! 💕💕

THE AO3 TAG GAME:

WHAT IS YOUR TOTAL WORD COUNT ON AO3?

869 938! holy sheet I’m so close to 1mil???? wowowow o.O

HOW OFTEN DO YOU WRITE?

I try to write every day, but these days (with renovations going on and my sleeping schedule all fucked up) it’s really hard to find the time and focus to do it orz

DO YOU HAVE A ROUTINE FOR WRITING?

I actually do! or I did when I was still regularly writing lol it was something like this: cracking open an energy drink, lighting up my fav scented candle, booting up itunes and my writing playlist and generally just spending 5-6h just writing 💕  

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE KINKS/TROPES/PAIRING?

kinks: pet play, public or semi-public play, voyeurism, doggy style, also actually BOTTOM VITYA,      

tropes: reverse au, time travel, famous aus,

pairing: victuuri. no seconds. we die like man and only stan one (1) gay ship

DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE FIC OF YOURS?

I don’t necessarily have an absolute fav but a fic that I still remember fondly and am beyond sad that got little to no attention is: if there’s a will, there’s a way bc I worked my ass off for it and I love every bit of it so? give it a read if you want to?

YOUR FIC WITH THE MOST KUDOS?

dazzle me with gold which will be getting an update this weekend ;3c

ANYTHING YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOUR WRITING?

recently? everything. I’m just broken and idk how to fix it bc I can’t even find a good moment to try so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

NOW SOMETHING YOU DO LIKE (ABOUT YOUR WRITING)?

how sweet and soft everything is when I’m in a good mood bc victuuri deserves this kind of love and I’m so happy writing it for them 🙏🙏🙏

tagged by @amaanogawa, thanks so much ems!!!

1) How many works in progress to do you currently have in progress?

one actual wip and like... 5 more that just sit and wait their turn? //sweats

2) Do you/would you write fan fiction?

rip that’s all I write too... tbh I used to write original fiction before but I find myself much less constricted by fanfic? I can explore the characters here more than I can in original fiction where worldbuilding takes most effort

3) Do you prefer paper books or ebooks?

oh definitely paper! if I could I’d buy printed out fanfic too!

4) When did you start writing?

I was about 12 I think? it all started with harry potter, like everything else has, and I regret not a second of it!

5) Do you have someone you trust that you share your work with?

sometimes when i get very excited about what i’m writing i’ll tell my fandom friends about the specific AU that i’m writing about but in terms of reading the full length fic, i don’t have anyone that i let read before anyone else. it’ll be on ao3 for everyone at the same time.

6) Where is your favourite place to write?

my desk, my pc. I can write on my phone but I like to edit as I go and it’s hard to do on the phone.

7) Favourite childhood book?

do I even need to say it? harry potter

8) Writing for fun or writing for publication?

for fun, but with the aim of possible future publication maybe?

9) Pen and paper or computer?

always computer. i have only recently begun writing fics on my phone because i’ve been traveling a lot and i don’t always have my laptop on my person, but it’s still much more comfortable to sit down and type on a proper keyboard.

10) Have you ever taken any writing classes?

at my uni, yes. and it completely sucked bc they didn’t teach anything, just had us write random shit for 3 years so eh

11) What inspires you to write?

everything? like, any random thing or thought I’m instantly trying to weave into my writing, turn it into a prompt. every new experience is just a basis for me to write on.

but if you’re asking WHY I write: I don’t even know, I’ve never thought about it? it’s kind of like asking why I breathe ahaha I just do? it’s a part of me? idk man idk

tagged by @themayflynans, thanks for this love!!

7/7/7 tag

The rules are as follows: Go to page 7 of your WIP, go to the seventh line, share seven sentences, and tag 7 more writer-bloggers to continue the challenge.

oh wow ok this is a difficult one bc I don’t think I even have a wip 7 pages long //sweats let me see... aha, okay, I found one! from back in march when I asked people to send me over some numbers for one of those writing memes and @theexitgarden I believe (??) sent me the prompt “I don’t think anyone could be as lovely as you” for victuuri and I kind of got a blind!victor au from it?? wELP here’s the fragment of it:

His music is vibrant in a way that he couldn't play on his piano alone and the clap of the blades that he can hear from the speakers of his TV makes him only more certain – this boy, Yuuri Katsuki, is skating to the sound of Victor's soul as if it's his own.

He never notices the tears that well up in his eyes until they roll down his cheeks and Makkachin presses against his side, whimpering in concern. Victor runs a trembling hand through her soft fur and takes a deep breath. And then, he decides.

"Yasha," he says when his former coach, his father in all but blood picks up Victor’s call. "I want to do this."

And he does it.

tagged by @endlesscloudsoftime again, boy you spoil me ahaha

1. Which fictional character would be the most boring to meet in real life?

I have no idea tbh bc even the characters I don’t like wouldn’t be exactly boring, so??? I honestly don’t know

2. What problem or situation did TV / movies make you think would be common, but when you grew up you found out it wasn’t? (i’m lowkey taking a jab at hsm because thanks Disney for making me think high school would be awesome)

hooking up with people ALL THE TIME when you’re in your 20s bc wtf what a bold-faced lie omg

3. What would be on the gag reel of your life?

"how many times can kat click her tongue at random strangers who piss her off by breathing the same air?” and a manip of all the eyerolls I do bc let me tell you... THERE’S A LOT

4. What does “infinite” mean to you?

my love for victor nikiforov

5. If your life was a movie, what songs would be on the soundtrack?

definitely lots of acoustic vibes and harry potter tunes and I can bet your ass that I’d have the yeah yeah yeah ost from yoi bc it’s such a banger and I LOVE IT but also dramatic classical violin and piano bc they pull on my heart and I am weak

6. What item would be your top choice to make into a horcrux?

honestly? my phone probably. I don’t necessarily have other things close to me that I’d use with enough heart to be of any significance to me

7. Who would play you in a movie about your life?

??? no idea lol I’d love for it to be katherine mcnamara bc 1) we share names, 2) her red hair is gorgeous and I’m a redhead, 3) SHE is gorgeous and I’d love to be portrayed by someone that hot 😍😍😍

8. Most relatable scene from any book/movie/anime/etc.?

yuuri’s little gasp when he first saw victor skating bc HARD SAME MY SWEET SON HARD SAME

9. If you were shrunk down and somehow got stuck in a blender, how would you get out?

I’d jump from side to side of it to try and rock it a bit and see if I can flip it over and get out that way? idk man what is this question lol

10. Would you count manga as a piece of literature? Why or why not?

ofc I would? honestly, some manga have even better storylines than written fiction why WOULDN’T it be counted as a piece of literature

11. compliment yourself. (joey, you’re just to freaking good to at making up questions).

oh man... //sweats umm??? good job me on not breaking down yet bc the renovations keep being awful and you’re handling it well?? maybe lol

tagged by @theexitgarden, thanks love, once more!

RULES: Choose any three fandoms (in random order) and answer the questions, then tag 10 people you want to know better.

Three Fandoms:

Yuri!!! on Ice

Ace of Diamond

Haikyuu!!

The First Character You Loved:

victor. he’s voiced by suwajun, do I really need to say more?

miyuki!! gosh I do love my asshole sons snarky and mean

hinata bc he’s a ray of sunshine and I even named my doggo after him 💕

The Character You Never Expected To Love So Much:

I gotta copy you garden bc chris took me by surprise too! my love for him started from that little sad look he gave us in the kiss and cry and it blossomed beautifully over time ahhh

sanada omg?? he is literally baseball kuroo so I was not expecting it but I fully embraced it lmao

iwaizumi bc I’m not one to like the mothering types but he’s??? actually so kind and sweet under all that harsh Manly facade it’s so cute

The Character You Relate To The Most:

victor, I’d say, or so I like to think

honestly? miyuki. just look at my url lol

oikawa, probably...

The Character You’d Slap:

I wouldn’t actually, but yurio deserves a good kick on the butt

um??? kataoka? bc TF U MEAN U DON’T KNOW WHO THE ACE SHOULD BE WE KNEW IT FROM THE FIRST CHAPTER YOU DUMBASS

early tsukki bc he’s could use it tbqh

Three Favorite Characters (in order of preference):

victor, yuuri, chris

miyuki, eijun, mei

hinata, kuroo, oikawa

A Character You Liked At First, But Don’t Anymore:

no one like that in yoi tbh, my love is only growing

kataoka lol

umm???? idk

A Character You Didn’t Like At First But Do Now:

seung-gil, I’d say. he grew on me lol

raichi, I guess??

to say tsukki, I’d have to actually like him now but it’s more difficult than that bc I didn’t like him at first but now can tolerate him so?? does it count?

Three OTPs:

victuuri, phichimetti, and the third would be very problematic bc I honestly don’t ship anything else in yoi?

miyusawa, chrisawa, sanasawa

KUROHINA YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, oihina, bokuhina

tagged by @sleep-furiously, thanks for the tag, love!!

post five facts about myself ❤

I have a sweet doggo who is the light of my life 💕

I write good shit sometimes

I believe I have good taste

I’m a snark machine when certain buttons are pressed

patience levels run at 0%

wow ok this was A LOT to go through and it took me like 3h to do this holy sheet but at least I had fun and now I have my firefox bookmark free so that’s awesome ahhh!! thanks so much again to everyone for the tags, you guys are amazing and I’m lucky to have you 💕💕💕💕

[c00chmaster420]

this is a long vent and storytime-ish. tw/dr*gs

it hurts going from being the kid who could read and write super well from an early age who got an award for english in high school and had a 98 in science for most of the year despite it always being my worst class and didn’t even have to try in school to barely being able to get a proper sentence out half the time and never being able to explain/express myself bc my brain is so fogged and fucked from all the drugs i do/have done that i can only think at like half capacity now. i used to be a rlly smart kid, i never had to try in school and i’d always get by just fine, if we had writing competitions in school i would usually win, i was basically an english prodigy. now i’ve dropped out of highschool and am in a constant state of brain fog, i can’t even feel things properly anymore. i can’t ground myself to my surroundings or feel genuinely present, it’s so difficult sitting outside at night and listening to music (one of my fav things to do) and trying to just be there in the moment but not being able to fully process literally anything that’s happening or my surroundings. i’m never fully there. i feel like a ghost or something. i used to be so against drugs and alcohol and then for some reason i decided fuck it, i wanna try acid bc it sounds bad and i wanna do something really bad just for the adrenaline. then i tried it and fell in love, i’d never even smoked weed before that, just drank oil, so being high was new to me and i immediately fell in love. nothing compared to the feeling drugs gave me, it was such an experience and made me feel so good and was so fun, like nothing i’d ever done before. i was rlly depressed and kinda hated myself and didn’t have many friends or a life so drugs were the one really good thing i had. i did acid a second time with molly and once again absolutely loved it. then my dealer got arrested and i didn’t have anywhere else to get acid so i turned to dxm (another drug i said i’d absolutely never do, but desperation makes people do weird things). i loved dxm as much as acid, i got (mentally) addicted almost immediately. plus it was so easy to get and i had money really frequently so i could just go grab some for $10 whenever i wanted. i quickly spiralled from that, i started doing it at school and doing it every night i could and if i didn’t have it i’d have cravings for it so bad i’d be scratching and hitting myself and pulling my hair and sobbing so hard i’d almost throw up. i also started doing molly pretty often and other things like coke and shrooms and a lot of acid. my drug problem almost got out of hand at one point, i overdosed twice within a week of each other and got serotonin syndrome also twice within a week of each other. i got a bit better when i had to go to my grandmas for a few weeks and didn’t have access to any drugs, and i wasn’t getting money regularly either so i was forced to go sober for a while. at one point i got better and started only smoking weed and drinking and i was doing good for months if not a year but i slipped again. my friend invited me to come over and do ghb with her parents and i agreed, ofc. welp, i wound up doing a LOT of meth that night as well. this is where i started slipping. the day after that night (well technically the day AFTER the day after) i went back and did ghb and smoked a bunch more meth with my friends parents. the kicker is my friend wasn’t even there this time. i’m close with her parents so they said i could meet with their dealer at their place bc they didn’t want me meeting with him alone (mans got second degree murder charges, numerous assault charges, and many more. he’s a very dangerous guy). i met him the night i went there the first time bc he came to sell them the ghb. he wound up spending the whole night and we TOTALLY vibed (before i found out he was dangerous asf). also the first time i saw him he came in needing stitches bc he just bashed a girls car window to get back at her, so that’s lovely. we were gonna do stitches on him there but didn’t wind up doing that.

the next morning he offered to walk me to the bus stop but instead tried to take me to his doctors appointment with him?? keep in mind i’m a 17 year old girl and he’s a 35 year old man. so that was rlly weird but i managed to get away and go home. anyways the point of this was i used to have so much potential and be so different but now i’ve ruined my life with drugs and i hate it. i went from saying i would never even drink to smoking meth out of a wine glass in my mom’s bathroom bc i have literally no self control anymore. my cousin begged/told me not to touch the meth but here i am scraping little bits of it off to smoke and hoping she doesn’t notice. i wanted xans and her dealer is in the nw and i’m in the sw so he didn’t wanna come all the way just to sell me two xans so we got a bunch of meth too even though she just plans on probably selling it and not taking it. i’m slowly losing control, first it started with just planning on smoking the loose little teeny bits in the bag to scraping off some from the rock and i should’ve stopped at there but i couldn’t. i know i should’ve stopped at there, there was less chance of her noticing and i shouldn’t rlly be risking it but here i am about to go scrape even more off for like my 4th time and pray she doesn’t notice. i’m so fucking stressed, i’ve been lying to my bf and my family about the drugs and i feel so guilty but at the same time i kinda don’t which almost makes me feel worse. i always put myself and my interests first and do what i want even if i have to lie about it because i don’t have any self control anymore. i’ve stopped caring more and more, i used to never do anything if there was even the smallest chance of me getting caught bc i was so scared of getting in trouble but lately i’ve been developing an attitude of ‘what are they gonna do about it? even if they find out, i already did it, the most they can do is get mad and i can just choose not to give a fuck that they’re mad’. i also have been putting myself in more and more dangerous situations (usually for drugs) and i think to myself a lot ‘who cares if something happens? i wanna die anyways and if something else happens i’ll just deal with it, it’s whatever, i can choose not to care about it’ and i know that’s gonna get me in a really bad situation one day. i was doing so good for so long and now i’m just spiralling so bad again. i don’t think i can get better either bc i need to want to get better and for some reason i don’t? like of course i wanna be better and have a solid life but the reality of putting in all the work and actually getting there is just something i can’t do. i’d rather just throw my life away and wallow in my mental illness until i either die young from an od or laced drugs or i kms.

like the reality is i literally can’t be a functioning adult. maybe if i went on a bunch of medication and got a shit ton of therapy maybe, but i can’t even bring myself to look for jobs or apply to them, and the thought of actually working is TERRIFYING. i have such fucking bad anxiety, any time i leave the house i constantly feel like everyone is staring at me and judging me and i’m hyper aware of how i look and how i’m breathing and walking. getting a job and being an adult just isn’t realistic for me, plus i literally hate the human race and the world in general so i have absolutely no desire to stay alive and be a functioning adult in a world that i literally hate anyways. i don’t wanna be here anymore. i just want everything to stop

[whatmakesamericagreatessay511]

paper writer

About me

Casio Paper Writer Tablets Bridge The Past And The Future

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[lilbabygirlliv16]

It’s strange how certain pain stays with you forever. When I think about the worst pain I’ve been through it’s a no brainer. You never forget the first death that really fucks you up. You go from being just a stupid n careless kid who’s only concern is getting the popular boy to notice to you and you’ve never really seen any bad shit n then one awful thing happens and all of a sudden you are going through something so surreal and heartbreaking and unthinkable you start to see the way the world is and your perception of reality really just changes and you don’t know how to feel or what to believe all you know is that this world is fully fucked up and there really is nothing we can do about it. My friend was shot and killed for absolutely no reason and the people responsible got away with it and the officer who shot him got officer of the year award and the little town of Trenton celebrated a police officer for murdering a senior who was days away from graduating high school and starting a new chapter of his life. He got into a good college and was genuinely a really great caring guy. he could become friends with anyone from any clique or group of people. Which btw boys like that in this town are almost impossible to find. He passed away at almost the end of his senior year and in the fall we had Chiro together which btw was a total blow off class and easy A for literally everyone. Anyways that fall was a particularly hard time for me. I was a sophomore and my freshman year all of my best friends were seniors. See, me and my sister moved there a year prior and had a very hard time making friends. little old Trenton is not the place to be. promise. its actually awful there the only nice thing is Elizabeth park. Anyways my freshman year was a fresh start for me I didn't have to worry about any of the bullshit from last year because since the first time since elementary school me and my sister would be going to the same school. my sister has been my best friend d my whole life. So it was a really great year for me we had so much fun they were all seniors so I got to go to all of the parties people in my grade weren't allowed to go too because everyone thought they were lame, which they all were. It was funny I was just living mu best life with my sister and all of our friends and I did not talk to anyone in my grade. The girls who had been complete bitches to me the year before tried to become my friend again so she could come to parties with us, I shut that shit down so fucking quick. On the last day of school for the seniors my freshman year, that same girl came up to me and said “what are you gonna do now Livy” referring to the fact all of my best friends were never going to come back. I would have to find new friends and she knew it. The following year was the darkest time of my life. I was completely alone and no one liked me in my grade. no one would really talk to me and because of this my anxiety started to really really fuck me up to the point of me not going to school for two weeks because I was so depressed. As I mentioned before during that time I had a class with Kyle. My friend who passed away. He sat a few seats away from me but sometimes he'd sit in random seats. but one day, I was doing my algebra homework. I always would in that class to distract me from all of the people around me. I would put my headphones in and have my music up as loud as it could go. I would sit Indian style and hunch over and try as desperately as I could to be invisible. but Kyle always saw me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him interrupt our friend Madison from whoever she was talking to, and he pointed at me. I saw he was asking her if I was okay and she just shrugged and continued on with her discussion. But I could feel him still staring at me. He never asked me if I was okay but I could feel that he was thinking it. the way he would stare at me was so intense and I could feel it from across a room. idk why he never asked me. maybe he didn't want to put me on the spot or hurt my feelings. all I know is that no other guy has ever been able to notice something was up with me because people usually ignored me anyways. idk that really just made my feelings for him grow. just a little backstory, but I met him my freshman year and our friend groups would always get drunk together on the weekends. At certain points we would end up in the same bed together, never doing anything more than kissing, giving back massages, and falling asleep together. this happened at least 4 separate times. We would play beerpong together at every party and we were undefeated champs. he's actually the one who taught me how to play. I was in love with him. like head over heels. I loved him and I never wanted anything more in my life than for him to be my boyfriend. literally the biggest crush on him, all of my friends knew and idk maybe he even did. at some points I thought that maybe he felt the same way. our eyes would always find each other in the crowded hallways at school and sometimes we would both go to the library and sit a few tables away from each other while passing glances the whole time. The last semester of his senior year he had Trig which was right by my locker. There was also a water fountain right by my locker and everyday before and after class he would come stand by my locker and get a drink of water even tho sometimes he had a water bottle on him. He would never say anything and I was always too shy because I used to be a pussy lol but we would just stand there next to each other for those few fleeting seconds and I swear I could feel him. his energy. idk how to describe it. But I really felt strong feelings for him. at one party he scratched his arm and was bleeding and my drunk ass pulled him in my bathroom and I insisted I put a bandaid on his arm. He was the first person to make me feel real feelings. like just him standing next to me made my heart race. He was such an amazing guy. He had so much promise and he genuinely would have done great things. I’ll never forget the pain I felt when I woke up that morning and read that he had passed away. nothing has ever hurt as badly as that. and I never got to own up to how I felt. thats something that really haunts me. So much was taken from him because he wasn’t mentally well and the officers weren't trained properly on how to handle a situation like that. Just bc your not mentally well doesn’t mean your a threat or a villian or deserve to be shot. police officers need better training when it comes to people who sometimes have really scary things going on in their heads that they can't control. this lack of training, compassion, and respect for human life is the reason so many innocent people die at the hands of trigger happy assholes who's immediate reaction is to kill. I miss Kyle and I think about him everyday. everyday I wish that the police officers would've done things differently and he might be here still.

[sitabethel]

re corporate-conspireshipping, who did seto fall for first? was he aware of the conspireshipping going on in the background beforehand, or was he the 'first' of the harem (bc we all know ryou's in charge obvs) to appear?

I sort of answer that in this old post, but here’s an extension to the beginning bit. (So to sum up: he falls for Ryou first, but not until well into the RPG. Yes he knew about the the corporate fracturshipping going on beforehand. Ooops, I just realized that fracturshipping and conspireshipping are different ships [like just this moment realized you said conspireshipping instead of fracturshipping], but I already wrote this so, um, have an extra Bakura on the house?)

Card games, Seto wanted card games, but it was more than card games, Seto wanted the passion. He wanted to be challenged, he wanted the drive to push himself further than he’d ever had before and come through that trial of fire in a new transcended state, and one person had ever given him that level of intensity.

 Atem.

 Thus, Seto restored the Puzzle, fought Diva, acquired the Cube, and build a ship that would allow him to penetrate that impenetrable veil between this world and the Other. In that moment he saw him, the Pharaoh, rising up from a golden throne with an amused grin. There, in the land of gods and spirits, Seto had put everything on the line with a challenge to a card game.

 “If I win,” Atem said in a warning voice. “You can never come back. It’s not time for you to be here, Seto.”

 “Oh I don’t plan on returning.” Seto smirked. “Because after I win, you’re coming back with me.”

 Atem sighed as if he expected no less but didn’t have the heart to tell Seto that his desire to bring Atem back was impossible. Atem descended down the steps, a duel disk that matched Seto’s appeared on his arm. He stood in place- as fiery, determined, and set on winning as Seto remembered him.

 “Let’s duel!”

 Hours later … Seto won.

 And Atem came back.

 His idiot cheerleaders rejoiced. They thanked Kaiba, as if he did it for them. They recounted the old times and explained everything Atem had missed since he left, but Seto didn’t care about any of it. He wanted another match. He’d beaten Atem in one world, now he’d beat him again in this one. Their rivalry picked up where it’d left off, only far more fierce, until one night the tension broke when Seto slammed Atem against a wall and smashed their lips together with angry, graceless, force. Atem grabbed Seto by the hair and pulled them closer, breaking the kiss only to add bites to Seto’s throat.

 They wake the next morning sore, and scratched, and exhausted despite the hard sleep. They do it all again after the next card game, and the card game after that. It’s everything Seto ever wants.

 Except all the empty moments in between.

 The Pharaoh has many admirers, and he loves Yugi most. There are many nights without cardgames. Seto buries himself in work as usual, swears he’d glad for the opportunity to get things done, but there are too many long nights, and too much caffeine. Seto also finds himself being dragged to group gatherings, and he hates it. Seto often forsakes Atem altogether in those moments, and goes off to a quiet room to catch up on his emails via his cellphone, or take a powernap on a spare couch. During one such nap during Honda’s birthday party, Seto can hear voices entering the room. He’s a light sleeper, so it wakes him, but he doesn’t want to participate in the conversation, so he keeps his eyes shut in hopes that the speakers will see him and move on.

 “But how can you live with him? After everything he did to you?”

 It was Atem’s voice, so Seto cracks an eye open, wondering what the conversation is about. The next voice is Ryou’s.

 “I keep telling you, I didn’t bring back the Spirit of the Ring- Marik did. I was trying to rescue the Thief King.”

 “I thought they were the same.”

 “They are, and they aren’t, the spell made them two separate people, although they’re still a little connected. It’s complicated.” Ryou exhaled. “The entire thing was complicated, but no one was really happy until we all came together.” Ryou tapped the spot on Atem’s chest where the Puzzle used to sit. “Our own puzzle, all our broken edges fit together.”

 “But they said Bakura still has Shadow Magic.”

 “Quite honestly,” Ryou said in a straight, upfront manner. “I don’t think he’s completely human, not physiologically. He’s more of a chimera.”

 “Then how can you blame Yugi for asking me to talk to you?”

 “I don’t blame Yugi for anything. I know he’s concerned, and I’ve tried to assuage his fears on multiple occasions, and I do appreciate that everyone cares enough to worry about me, but I’m not leaving them. Atem, I love them all.”

 “But, Ryou-”

 “Oh look, Seto’s asleep on the couch.” Ryou walked over to the sofa and pulled the throw off of the back in order to tuck it around Seto’s body. “We shouldn’t wake him. Let’s go back to the party and finish this conversation later.”

 Seto shut his eyes when Ryou approached, so he didn’t see them leave, only hear footsteps. Before he opened his eyes again, he heard Ryou speaking directly to him.

 “Sorry to use you as a scapegoat, Kaiba, but I had that conversation with Yugi a dozen times already, and I just don’t have the energy for it tonight.”

 “You knew I was awake?” Seto opened his eyes.

 “Of course, unlike Atem I pay attention. I’m sorry if we woke you” Ryou dropped to the end of the sofa, leaning back, but keeping enough space so that he didn’t press too closely to Seto’s feet. “It’d be different if I was bruised, or hurt, or if I cried to them about being mistreated, but things like that never happen. They’re all very sweet to me, even Kek.”

 Seto made an acknowledging sound to show that he was listening.

 “You know, we finished our last Monster World campaign last week, and next week we start a new one. You should come play with us.”

 “I prefer Duel Monsters.”

 “Yes, of course, and I normally wouldn’t invite you, but you see, our next campaign is a dragon universe, and I think you’d love it.”

 “… I’m listening.” Seto tried to resist, but couldn’t. Dragons were the one thing that could still distract him from anything, even Atem.

 Ryou shifted to his side so he could look at Seto. His left arm braced against the couch, making white hair spill down his left side.

 “It’s a world where characters form telepathic bonds with a companion dragon. It makes for an interesting battle system because each character has to play as their job class and as their dragon class, and there’s several species of dragons. There’s a species the size of a large house cats, it’s sort of meant for thief classes. The most common species is a type of wyvern the size of a horse used for knights and mages. There’s even huge, shapeshifting dragons that can masquerade as humans- which also means there are half dragon offspring of all the major races as well.”

 “That… does sound interesting,” Seto confessed. It sounded amazing, actually. Part of him felt like he did as an excited orphan hearing about the Blue Eyes White Dragon trading card for the first time.

 “Join our campaign. It’s only once, sometimes twice, a week, so you’ll still have plenty of time for card games.”

 Noise from the party that went on without them echoed through the closed door. Seto glanced at the barrier keeping Ryou and himself isolated from the rest of the group. Seto never really fully belonged in that group, and he supposed Ryou had always been standing on the edge of it as well.

 And dragons!

 That boyish excitement filled Seto. He could be a dragon knight on a white mount. He could bond with three dragons. Even if it wasn’t part of the campaign, he was sure he could figure out a loophole and do it. He could-

 Spend a night doing something that didn’t involve waiting on his royal majesty to grace Seto with his presence, something that wasn’t work or staring at the ceiling.

 “Okay,” Seto heard himself saying. “Next week. Give me your address and I’ll be there.”

[wormsongs]

some uhh personal thoughts related to marvel stuff... its uh... long

as much as i love the expansion of gamora and nebula’s relationship, how nice it is to see sister relationships explored in hollywood media. i think ill always relate more to mcu thor and lokis relationship. while gamora and nebula represent siblings in an openly abusive household pushed to the extreme and scifi, something i cant directly relate to, the boys represent more a relationship strained by expectations, envy, and ignorance; something i WAY more relate to

my half brother is 10 years older than me. when i was a kid i idolized him, as most kids do with their older siblings. he wasnt a perfect student, hell, he wasnt even a GOOD student he was pretty angry and rebellious during high school. but i was a kid i didnt care i loved him, like really loved him (before i knew what marriage was actually i thought it just meant spending forever with someone and i wanted to “marry” him so you can imagine how healthy this relationship was). he spent time with me sometimes, yeah, we played video games and stuff but i got in the way alot. then he graduated and left me. he moved out of state, to where his mom lived. and i grew up, moved on, didn’t see or even talk to him for probably 5 years. I was maybe 9 when he left. I was always told “you cant be as bad as drew was” or “you’ve got to be better than he was.” this was a brother i idolized for my whole life, and i was being told of his flaws without him there, being compared to him constantly by my parents (mostly my mom which is a whole other can of worms). and even though he wasn’t the perfect brother, you can imagine the kind of pressure that puts on a kid.

then his mom died of cancer and he moved back to austin. we hadn’t talked for 4 or 5 years, and last time we did i was a kid. the first memory i have of him where i wasnt a straight up kid was him taking me and my dad to watch Avengers in theaters. (wow what a coincidence that i just put together on the spot). but even then his life was a wreck and i was still a kid. we didnt talk. what had been idolization became distance and pressure on me.

i was the perfect kid, never snuck out, always got good grades, didnt do a weed or drink, never went to parties. I had to be, bc i “couldn’t be as bad as drew.” So i was sure not to be. But i had maybe 3 friends. this was early highschool, 2013 about and i still barely talked to my brother. I think the first time we hung out in probably months was seeing thor 2 (huh how bout that. I was in the Loki phase by then.) but I was still the perfect student and a good swimmer, if a bit weird and obsessed. i still had a chance to be “better than drew.”

then junior year of highschool rolled around. and thats when i started to fall apart. good ol Depression kicked in, wasnt too bad yet, but my grades started to slip. But all that mattered was “i wasn’t as bad as drew.” I couldn’t be so i didnt talk to anybody about it, let alone my parents. I couldn’t, i had to be better. so i swam and a went to school and i obsessed over marvel bc it was what i had. I shamed myself out of liking loki (NOT what i should have done turns out that only made things worse)

Senior year was the worst. figured out i wasnt straight. Depression was bad, cutting, suicidal thoughts, the whole 9 yards. It was rough, but i still went to school and i still swam, i still saw marvel movies, my life went on bc “i couldn’t be as bad as drew.” my cuts got found out and the counselor called me in. I lied, said it was my cat. a good excuse because i do have scars from my cat. i lied, and my parents believed me. still believe me to this day. still dont know that i used to cut. i lied, i kept lying every time someone asked me about the scratches on my leg. but my parents knew i “wasn’t as bad as drew.”

only difference was that i was talking to my brother again, barely, but talking. mostly through work out class that he taught. it was weird, he never knew how i felt, doesnt know still. but it was something. he was older and better than me now, his life was back on track, he just got a girlfriend, he had a job. I was a depressed, suicidal, cutting, queer highschooler who picked a college only passivly and let others do most of the decision making (which suited my mom fine), i didnt care, i was so tired. I was “worse than drew” even if no one ever knew it. I knew it.

things got better after highschool, i stopped cutting, got my first tattoo over my scars, i tried to pull myself out a depressive spiral, i prepared for college. I was “Stable”, i talked to my brother sometimes. turns out the college i basically let my mom pick for me was a good fit. life was hard but it had been harder. and away from my parents i didnt have to be “better than drew” even if the memory remains.

only problem was, i had never paid any attention to my jealousy and anger. i never addressed that i had any towards my brother. only now, years and years later, after a summer where i finally hung out with him almost twice a week, am i finally letting myself get mad at my brother. im letting him annoy me if we hang out too long. im letting myself feel jipped if he says were gonna do something and then backs out. im acknowledging his flaws and my own. i still struggle with the “worse than drew” mentality bc he is better than me now, and what i want to do is not a profiting business. but its better.

and well, tldr:

ive got an older half brother who i idolized. who my parents compared me to constantly. who, by some weird coincidence, has a deep connection w mjolnir in my head (via his tattoo of it) and a cool dark haired athletic girlfriend that could kick my ass (like what kinda fucking coincidence), that dropped out of my life pretty dramatically at a turning point. a brother that i was secretly, even to myself, envious of, envy that came from unhealthy idolization. a brother who thinks “you can tell me anything” even though i CANT because of the distance between us he hasnt quite fully acknowledged either. 

and me, the younger, not straight, sibling who was(is) depressed, who felt abandoned by a brother who didnt really mean to abandon me, who was held so high and tried so hard to keep that reputation that i didnt let myself grow healthily. who lied about my problems and still isnt really to term with how i feel about my brother. who feels worse than their sibling because they were always told to be better.

and reconciliation is everything i want but everything i dont think i can get because of my own inclination to lock things away and ignore them.

also ive called my brother thor so many goddamn times totally on accident and my brain needs to chill the fuck out like i get it i understand the connection pls dont expose me im not ready for that yet

and just like... mcu thor and lokis relationship is something i hold so dear and close bc its so familiar. i want them to do better bc i want to do better

[s4lmonsk1n]

bedridden w/ food poisoning and thinking abt Andromeda nonstop so time to Meme

30 DAY RYDER COUNTDOWN MEME: days 30-24 under the cut

30 Days: Will you play SisRyder or BroRyder first? Why? How does your Ryder define their gender?

i always play as a female on my first playthrough bc that’s the gender im most comfortable with -- plus, y’know, fem!shep was a goddess. The only bioware game I’ve managed to play FULLY as a male PC was da:o, and I think that was mostly bc they didn’t actually speak,,,,,

my Ryder is gonna be cis female too so she/her pronouns I guess!! this may change in time tho as I develop them bc I’m partial to they/them pronouns myself so haha

29 Days: What is your Ryder’s name? Why did you pick this name - is there a meaning or origin story behind it? Do they go by any nicknames? What would you name their sibling, father and mother if you were able to choose?

My Ryder’s name is Emerson! She usually goes by Emery, and her brother calls her Em/Emmy/Emma (altho he’s the only one who can get away with calling her Emma tbh). I didn’t want anything TOO outlandish seeing as we can’t change the twin’s name, so I wanted something that would fit with Scott. Plus I’ve always loved unisex names for females, especially names that can be shortened into  a million nicknames like my own :3c

You know when your searching for a name and you read one and that’s just IT? even if you find one that might be prettier, or nicer, or suit them more, but nope, its just THAT one? Yeah. Once I started calling her Emerson that was her name for life. it feels weird thinking of her by any other name at this point.

i usually don’t bother with developing parents/parents names, so Alec and Ellen are fine for me. If I could rename Scott though, for some reason Lawrence seems to stick with me for him?? hmm.

28 Days: Are you going to use the default appearance or create a custom Ryder? If custom, describe your Ryder’s physical appearance (hair color, eye color, skin color, height, weight, facial features, any scars or tattoos, racial origin, etc). If you have art and/or a face-claim, feel free to add them here.

custom Ryder alllll the way. I have an entire pinterest board decked out for inspo just for ideas!! check it out here --> https://www.pinterest.com/charlottemonton/ryder-inspo/

I don’t have EXACT details planned out like hair style, face shape, etc, but I know that (right now at least) I want her to have long red hair (messy bun look ya feel me,,), hazel eyes, and a MESS of dark freckles. like freckles everywhere. she’s gonna be gr8. She’ll probably have her arms/hands riddled with tiny scars from being on dig sites and such, and from her long history of accidentally blowing stuff up when she tinkers with tech (and.... maybe an eyebrow scar. Just bc im a sucker for eyebrow scars wowowo)

as for tattoos, she won’t have any downright visible ones, but she will have a space/planet themed one down her spine like some of the examples in her inspo board !!

27 Days: Are you going to use the default appearance for Ryder’s sibling or customize them? Describe your ideas for their sibling’s and father’s physical appearance.

don’t care much about dad Ryder’s look, but ive always had a thing for identical twins. So, Scott and Emery will looks eerily similar and be really close to boot. Ofc, even identical twins can grow up to look vastly different depending on different outside factors, esp with the twins different personalities, hobbies, career, etc.

He’ll have the matching freckles, red hair, and hazel eyes, but as far as that.... it’s all up in the air! I’ll have to wait and see what kind of options there are in the CC before fully deciding on Scott’s look. Maybe a bit more rugged than her due to his more military-esque background? short hair? maybe some facial hair or smth? WHO KNOWS!!

(as a note, if we can give them heterochromia, I might give them blue/hazel eyes bc im a sucker for twins with opposite heterochromia whoops)

26 Days: Do you have a specific class profile or mix of class profiles in mind for Ryder?

Em is a full-blown tech junkie. PURE TECH. She’s always had a knack for tinkering even in her youth, and she prefers working with stuff she’s made herself and KNOWS will work over anything else (moving stuff with an implant in your mind??? unless she made the implant herself, no thanks, she’s good with her good ol’ reliable drone)

I’ve played both pure soldier class and vanguard in the original mass effect, and never touched any tech abilities whatsoever. But seeing all the cool stuff classing into Tech gets you in andromeda..... BOI. Apparently you get “something special” for staying faithful and only specing into one class too, so that got me awful curious as well,,,,,

so yeah. Tech goddess over here. with a HAMMER.

25 Days: Describe Ryder’s favorite combat style. Bioware call Peebee a “gunslinger” and describe Liam as a “close-range fighter” - how would you describe Ryder’s combat role/strengths? What are some of their favorite biotic/tech/other abilities?

Emery would probably be described as something like “tech firestarter” or “elemental engineer” (Emery the Elemental Engineer what a tongue twister gg). She specializes purely in tech offense, all of which she’s either built from scratch herself (like her drone) or tweaked gear she’s been given to give it her own little dramatic ‘flare” (like the flame/cryo omni-tool). What she lacks in biotic and combat prowess she more than makes up for in strategy and cleverness and plain ol’ fightin dirty.

I can already tell tactical cloak is going to be a personal favorite of mine, as well as a goddamn FLAMETHROWER. Freezing solid with Cyro + smashing to bits with a Krogan Hammer also seems,,,,, very coool,,,,,,,

and a lil drone buddy :3 def gonna be Emery’s little robo pet that causes all sorts of mayhem around the Tempest omg

24 Days: Which squadmates do you think will best compliment Ryder’s combat style? Alternatively, who do you plan to take out most in the field?

mmmmm this one is really hard seeing as I have no personal experience with how the Tech build works offensively/defensively, and we have next to no info on what the Squad’s abilities are like yet. Not that,,,, I really pay attention to that ANYWAYS I just take the people I like the most HAHA

Vetra is a definite must (*cough* spacewife *COUGH*), esp with her heavy armor that seems like it’ll soak up a lot of damage compared to the glass canon that Emery will most likely turn out to be. Drack is another obvious choice, and those two will probably be the ones I drag around most bc hey, you can NEVER have too many tanks. plus those are the two squadmates who interest me personally the most so far so !!