#also feel free to continue if u want :3 no rush or deadline~))

[smilingmxsk]

((I WAS gonna have those drabbles start posting later this morning buuuut... Inbox call

Like this for a scary creeture running through your backyard/in the dark :) just a little jumpscare for the spooky day~))

[insane-control-room]

When ray was gone, and if he was single, would Johan be interested in starting a relationship with Sammy? He seems to rely on the composer a lot

(chucks a whole butt fic at you) Enjoy! written with help and input from @randomwriteronline​ <3 im lov u

Fulmination

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31277393

Sammy is going to be Joey's, or rather the Ink Demon's, Prophet. He decides to start getting into character through method acting, but a bit too early, and a lot too zealous.

Joey was not exactly a stable person. That role fell to Henry. They were the rock and the river, and when the rock decided to sprout legs and walk away, the river was forced to keep rushing onwards, still searching and babbling for its rock, in that silent way that streams whisper. It was almost musical in a melancholic way, and to Sammy, that music was solemn… yet beautiful. 

He listened quietly to the river's lonely longing lament, watery with tearstained resilience. He indulged in its melancholy silently, wallowing in doubt, wading in that cool and efficient, winding river - should he have tried to interrupt that wonderfully woeful solo concert? Should he have allowed him to wail his anguish as long as he needed to? The man was insane, he argued with himself, and there was beauty in madness, but he needed to keep himself away to avoid getting swept into the tide. 

He talked about it with Wally and Thomas, who both told him that if he wanted to, he should at least try. Shit had already hit the fan, and with a reset on the horizon, he could do what he wanted with little to no consequence. After all, he was the Prophet, and Joey was the Demon, and his reverence should have a real source. 

So, he agreed with them, and in that lucid dreamscape of the Bridge, he approached the source of the ink flowing through the world. Joey was working on the machine, agitated as he programmed the physics of the liquid, making sure that everything was functioning as it should. 

“Joey,” he greeted, shocking the man, making him spin around, wielding a wrench as a weapon in his panic. Sammy waved at him.

“Ah, it’s you,” Joey exhaled in relief. “How can I b-be of assistance?”

“I was about to ask you that,” Sammy smoothly replied. Joey stared at him, and then shook his head. “What?”

“I don’t need any help,” Joey told him, and then returned to his work. Sammy blinked, and left. He was not going to press the man, not in that way at least.

He knocked on the door to his office. 

“Come in,” was the answer, it always was. Sammy came in, with a coffee in hand. 

“I got you a drink, Mr. Drew,” he offered with a smile. Johan’s mouth opened, about to protest. “I know you don’t like coffee, but this one is dairy free, and it’s my treat.”

“I see…” Johan accepted the drink. Sammy watched as he took a sip, gauging his reaction, reading deeply into each crease of his skin. “Thank you.”

Sammy smiled.

His pen scribbled madly on the paper. Damn Drew and his idea that even though the world was on the verge of ending, they still had deadlines to meet and animations to make. And with those animations, came the music that had to go along with them. 

What would have all this work been for once there was no more life to witness it?

Such was the question he posed when he came into the man’s office. Sammy smirked, feeling that he had the upper hand over the visual artist. He reasoned that Joey relied on him, but that feeling shifted a second later. Johan looked up at him above pink lenses, and then asked back, “You don’t really think life will continue on f-forever? You just see the ending as imminent-- and so you give up. But we should not use the end of the world as an excuse to do nothing, as then no one should do anything at all and mull endlessly in their own thoughts.”

“You think that the world will end beyond this?” Sammy inquired with widening eyes. Joey shrugged. Sammy’s eyes narrowed back to slits. “Mr. Drew, that sounds insane.”

Joey simply tilted his head. Sammy understood what he meant, and his own lips twitched. 

Insanity was the man’s environment. 

Sammy was starting to feel the bliss of madness, and something told him he would not be able to get enough of it. 

He helped Joey often with his experiments and rigging the bridge on the furthest levels, watching his master with admiration for his craft. Sammy may not have been a rock in the river, but he was a reed by the bank, drinking in all it had to offer to him. 

Joey was hunched over his work, and Sammy entered the room. 

“Johan,” he greeted, and the man whistled in acknowledgement. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“No, not really,” Joey told him, sparing him a glance and a tired smile. Sammy set down a honey sweetened tea, having slowly worked his way to figuring out which type of drink he enjoyed without asking a single question, simply making and bringing new ones constantly with input from Wally and Thomas until he struck gold. “Thank you. Also, I, er,” he smiled sheepishly, and Sammy smiled in return, following the shepherd, “Do need a touch of help. I can’t pull the gauges right, cause, you know ...”

He trailed off, and Sammy did not have to look down to know why. He smiled wider, and adjusted the valves for him. 

“Anything else?”

“Nothing, thank you,” Joey’s smile was radiant, enlightening. He gave a little laugh. “Thanks for being my right hand.”

Sammy took said hand, missing thumb and all, and beamed at his redeemer. 

“With pleasure.”

His arms were wrapped around Joey as he panted, sweat dripping down the taller man’s brow. Sammy could feel his tremors through muscle, holding him tight and whispering encouragement. Another shudder wracked through the thin animator, a groan escaping him. Sammy petted a hand through his sui generis hair, and eased him down onto the bathroom tile. Johan gave another tremble, limbs weak from the strain, and grimaced and cried at the taste of iron and bitter poison filling his mouth. 

Sammy soothed him as he wiped away the blood and ink that was on Joey’s lips and hands. The bridge was nearly complete, and Sammy was in awe at the strength of the man; ill and weak of body, but mind impenetrable, method in madness. 

“You’re alright,” he whispered to him, a wet, cool rag cleaning away sweat and tears. Joey mumbled that he was fine, that he needed no help, but Sammy remained by his side. The musician's arm was clasped around his bony shoulders, a hand rubbing his back. His eyes roamed over Joey’s face, and he could see the traces and toll of being the ink demon on him. He tilted his head upwards with his palm. “You’re more than alright. You’re… my lord.”

Joey’s brow creased as he was about to protest, yet Sammy merely closed the gap between them and pressed his lips to Joey’s, whose mouth opened in shock. Sammy kissed him further, the prophet in devotion to his lord, the familiar taste of ink intoxicating. Hands were on his chest, but he realized too late that it was not to pull him close, but to push.

“Sammy, what the everfrozen hell!” Joey barked, eyes wide, yet brow drawn. “What is wrong with you!? I just threw up blood and ink and you- you!”

His sputtering was cut off by Sammy reapproaching at the speed of a hawk on a dive, broken by a sharp gasp. Sammy’s pupils were dilated in zealous fervor, and Joey wracked his mind in an attempt to figure out how this started. 

“I,” he breathed, his mouth a jagged grin, “Am your prophet. Your right hand.”

“You are behaving with the piety of an insane cultist priest,” Johan said, bewildered worry in his tone. “Like a m-madman!”

“As if you are not the epitome of insanity yourself,” he retorted, to which Joey had no response. “You’ve set me free with it.”

“I’ve done nothing,” Johan told him as he pushed weakly against Sammy, hands on his shoulders and keeping him pressed to the sink. A thousand scenarios flashed through his head, someone coming into the bathroom with them in this compromising position, Sammy continuing this lunacy and Joey being forced to kick him from the project. “Sammy, this needs to stop-”

The mad prophet heard nothing, and had come close once more to kiss his lord. Joey did not have the strength to push him away again, and Sammy did not even notice, so lost in his method delusion. There was ink on his tongue, the demon’s ichor, and it was familiar-- and that gave him pause. 

Why on earth had he been drinking ink?

He pulled away sharply, a slew of apologies flying from his mouth. Joey waved them off, merely relieved that Sammy seemed to be coming back to himself. 

“I guess that I got too caught up in the role,” Sammy muttered, mortified.

Joey only huffed an incredulous laugh, pulling himself off the floor and extending his hand for Sammy to take. 

He did, grateful for the opportunity offered to him.

[artificialqueens]

nobody knows where we might end up, chapter fifteen (branjie) - holtzmanns

(read on ao3) | (tumblr: plastiquetiaras) | word count: 4476

AN: Thank you so, so much for all the continued sweet response to this fic. It makes me so, so happy and makes me wish I could write it forever. Writ is a great beta <3

(then)

It’s around seven p.m., so Vanessa has approximately four hours before her brain shuts down for the night, and she can probably finish at least a little bit more of her pathology paper, and study for the midterm for the same class, and practice for the anatomy bellringer next week, before-

“Another email! This one about orientation week. Can you believe that med school’s going to have an o-week, too? As if we didn’t already do that in undergrad, right?”

Ugh.

Vanessa’s happy for Brooke, she truly is. There’s no one who deserves success the way that she does.

But if Vanessa has to hear another damn detail about the upcoming year, she’s going to lose it.

Vanessa still has to study. She’s taking a couple of courses right now during the summer semester before her fourth year along with volunteering, balancing those with more time in the lab so that her name will be featured on her supervisor’s paper once it gets published. Her summer is packed because she’s still trying, damn it, she has to go through the application process for med school all over again once the fall gets here and she has to be better, more experienced, more worthy.

Unlike the last application cycle, where she didn’t get in anywhere. Didn’t even get off any waitlists.

So, here Vanessa is. Working herself to the bone because she has to. One would think that three and a half years of pushing herself would make it easier to do with time, but she’s still had it. She wants to just camp out and watch some movies for a night without thinking about all the shit that she needs to get done.

It’s what’s made seeing Brooke, blissfully happy and free of responsibilities, so difficult to watch the last two months.

Brooke gets to enjoy a relaxing summer because she’s going to start the MD program at U of T come September, and so she gets a clean slate. She doesn’t need to do anything to prepare, because she’s already in. No need to get any extra courses done, no more volunteering if she doesn’t want to. No finishing her fourth year of undergrad. Not when she gets to enter med school after completing her junior year.

Vanessa doesn’t want to see it as unfair, but it kind of is. Just a little bit. Especially when Brooke gets to sit on the couch and cuddle with the cats while Vanessa’s at the kitchen table and reviewing from her textbook. Or when Brooke gets to come back late from nights out with Detox and Alaska because she doesn’t need to study or work hard until September, so of course she can go out and have fun. Because who cares that Vanessa has to get up early the next morning for class, when Brooke stumbles into bed so late? Why should it even matter?

Okay, so maybe Vanessa’s a little pissed. Sure, the anger and unfairness of it all is a bit misplaced, but she’s allowed to have her feelings, dang it.

Brooke’s switched to raving about the neuroanatomy course that the U of T med school students get to take (in first year, can you believe it, they go so in depth!’), and Vanessa really just doesn’t fucking care. She’s tired, real tired, and she can’t find the words to finish this analysis paragraph in her paper because Brooke is still going on about how great her program is going to be.

“Can you just. Shut up for a bit? Five minutes. That’s all I fucking need. Five minutes.” It comes out snappier than Vanessa intends but she doesn’t even care, because if she doesn’t make good progress on this paper tonight she’s going to run out of time to finish it, along with the rest of the things that she needs to get done before the deadlines hit her square in the face.

“Sorry. Geez.” Brooke’s voice is a huff but Vanessa can still hear the hurt in it, she always does. Can always tell. It makes Vanessa want to roll her eyes because even if she does feel a little bad for snapping it’s not fair, having to listen to everything.

“While I want my schedule was as empty as yours, I need to get this shit done tonight ‘cause I won’t have time tomorrow. Wish I had time to talk all about how great the program is going to be for you like we usually do every fucking night, but I can’t. Not tonight.” Not any night, but this is the first time Vanessa’s actually said something. Maybe not the smartest thing to do, but she’s fucking tired of it.

“Fine. I’ll go check my email somewhere else.” Brooke’s already rolling off of the couch, Henry in her arms and of course she’s making Vanessa feel like the bad guy right now.

Vanessa rubs at her temples, the glare of her computer screen a harsh glow that only makes her headache that much worse. “I get you wanna spend time together and shit before you get busy in September, which is real nice, but some of us have actual work to do.” Vanessa wishes she could have Brooke’s free time, she really does. But she can’t always get what she wants, now can she?

“I’m-” Brooke lets out a frustrated sigh as she stands in the doorway of their room. “I feel like I can’t even be happy or excited around you anymore for anything, like I’m already trying to keep from talking about it too much but sometimes I just want to share things, you know?”

“Great. Love it for you, I really do. Supporting you all the way.” So Vanessa sounds a bit dry while she says it. She doesn’t care. “You’ll have a great time.”

“Thanks for the sincerity.” Brooke crosses her arms and it only makes Vanessa want to roll her eyes more.

“It’s just a bit hard to be happy for you when I’m still stuck in undergrad, still working my ass off right now, unlike you.” Vanessa snaps because she’s had it, she really has, she doesn’t care. “Go celebrate with Becky or Tiffany or whomever fucking else got into med school with you. I’m sure they’ll be more than happy to listen to you talk while you braid each others’ hair and plan where you’ll sit in class together.”

Vanessa sees the hurt flash in Brooke’s eyes before she slams the front door, leaving to go who knows where, but who cares? Especially when Vanessa’s damn paper isn’t writing itself the way that it should. She has too much to do to even give a shit anymore.

Vanessa can’t sleep, because all she can think about is the fact that she has to be up in five hours to be at the hospital for volunteering, and she still needs to study more before her pathology midterm, which she’ll have to fit in at lunch time, and god, she wishes she could shut her brain off sometimes.

The door opens and closes quietly and Vanessa feels trepidation roll over her. Brooke’s back. Not that she cares.

Not really.

They’ll be fine. She just needs sleep and a bit of rest and she can listen to Brooke’s excited rambling about med school. It’s fine.

Except no matter how much she tries to convince herself, Vanessa’s still kind of annoyed by it.

Brooke climbs in beside her and turns over, facing the opposite wall. Their bed’s not even that big, just a double, but it feels like there’s an ocean between them, one too big to cross because the waters that they’d have to swim through would drown them in the waves first.

Vanessa’s glad for it, really. She doesn’t want to talk things out right now. Or cuddle. Not in this state.

She just needs some fucking sleep.

Of course Brooke manages to doze off first, her breaths evening out and becoming deeper and deeper while Vanessa has to listen. Seems like being rested and having free time is also useful for falling asleep quickly, too.

Lucky.

Vanessa will just have to drink an extra coffee or two tomorrow morning if she wants to get through the day.

(now)

“Nothing at all?”

“Nothing in his past medical history. No coronary artery disease, no hypertension, no type two diabetes, nothing! All that this guy’s file said is that he was allergic to cats. That’s it!” Vanessa nearly knocks her glass of wine over in her enthusiasm.

Brooke’s eyes are wide as she listens to Vanessa’s recap. “And then?”

“Needed a quadruple bypass. His arteries were more blocked than the 401 during rush hour.”

Brooke lets out a whistle. “How did all of that build up without being noticed?”

“I have no sweet clue.” Vanessa nearly dances in her seat, recalling the way her and her team had nearly lost their shit in the operating room upon seeing the guy’s arteries. “But it was wild. Like, he was a marathon runner and shit. Lord knows how he didn’t straight collapse while tap tapping those feet on the pavement.”

“Wow.” Brooke takes a bite of her pasta, wiggling her fork around after. “So he just had all of that the whole time?”

“Yeah! Do y’know how long it took us to clean those arteries? Forever! Though those grafts were a damn work of art.” Vanessa thinks back to the neatness of that surgery, and has to resist giving herself a pat on the back. It had been an extraordinarily good job, even for her.

Brooke snorts. “You’re the only person who would ever describe arterial grafts as a work of art.”

“Hey, it’s fun. ” Vanessa pouts, and if the soft look that Brooke is giving her makes her heart feel a certain type of way, she’s not going to think about it.

“It’s cute.” Brooke’s look at her as she smiles is unwavering, and it nearly makes Vanessa want to blush, hide her face.

No ones looked at her like that since, well-

Brooke herself.

“You’re cute.” The words slip out before Vanessa has a chance to stop them, and she doesn’t even care because then Brooke’s the one flushing, and proving Vanessa’s words completely correct.

“It is nice, though. Being able to talk about this shit with someone else who gets it.” Vanessa’s missed this. She doesn’t want to admit it, but being able to talk to Brooke, to talk about the things that she’s seen that excite her, feels so right. Like home.

Brooke still shows enthusiasm for everything she’s saying despite not being in cardiology, just like she used to when they were younger. Her cheek rests on her hand as she listens in the same way too, and for a second they could almost be back in that apartment so many years ago.

“Yeah. It is.” Brooke murmurs, before her eyes take on a mischievous sparkle that Vanessa knows is solely reserved for teasing her. “Wanna hear about this gross brain abscess I got to remove yester-”

“Nasty. We’re eating dinner, no talk of brain abscesses while we eat-”

“It was almost rotting away-”

“I will call the police-”

Brooke’s peal of laughter cuts off her protest, and Vanessa can’t help but giggle along with her.

Being able to lapse back into conversation like this, the way they used to be able to talk for hours and hours feels surreal. Like it shouldn’t be allowed, like they’re breaking some sort of law of the universe by being able to get along, actually enjoy each other’s company once more.

But then again, the past couple weeks have put them through the wringer. At least, on Vanessa’s side.

And by the dark circles underneath Brooke’s eyes (the ones that are slowly, slowly beginning to fade), she doesn’t seem to be far off, either.

Maybe they deserve this. Not being caught in the winds of a storm, for once, but instead getting to float in calmer waters. Ones that will let them tread and stay afloat and actually catch their breaths, not drowning in unspoken words and feelings.  

They finish their shared dessert too soon, and Vanessa can’t resist reaching a finger out to swipe at the chocolate at the corner of Brooke’s mouth from the lava cake. She can’t help but notice the way Brooke’s eyes darken when she licks her finger, either.

Vanessa doesn’t know why she grabs Brooke’s hand as they leave the restaurant. Maybe it’s force of habit from way back when, maybe it’s the way Brooke’s like a magnet, making Vanessa want to just get closer and closer and never let go.

But Brooke squeezes her hand back, tugs her along to the car, and the slight thread of worry, of being rejected that had been running through her heart begins to vanish.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Vanessa whispers it to Brooke, standing on her tippy toes as they wait at a crosswalk.

“What?” Brooke tilts her head in curiosity, reluctantly pulling her gaze away as they begin to cross.

“I’m still kinda hungry.” Vanessa’s sentence is punctuated by a growl of her stomach, and she gives Brooke a sheepish grin when her eyebrows raise in surprise.

“How do you eat so much yet remain only a hundred pounds max, soaking wet?”

“Hey.” Vanessa shoves Brooke’s side, huffing when it makes Brooke crack up. “I am tall . And intimidating.”

“Intimidating? I can see that. Tall? Nope.”

Vanessa pouts. “I’m still growing. I gotta eat.”

“What are you, a teenage boy?” Vanessa’s about to protest, talk about how she’s finally going to have her growth spurt, damn it, when Brooke points to a sign across the street reading Lino’s Pizza.

“Open 24 hours, apparently. Want some?”

“Damn. The waterfront is pretty at night.” Vanessa looks across the water, then up at the stars that are shining through despite the glow of the city. The hood of Brooke’s car is a perfect vantage point for watching the soft waves of the lake, the gentle breeze making Vanessa button up her jacket to the very top.

Brooke reaches in between them, grabbing another slice of the pizza they’ve bought, and Vanessa can’t resist doing the same. They’ve already demolished half of it, and while the cardiac surgeon part of Vanessa’s brain is tutting at her about the way it’ll clog up her arteries, the rest of her can’t seem to care.

“I used to come here when I was stressed as an intern and resident, after shifts. Got away from the hospitals to just sit in quiet and watch the water.” Brooke’s voice is soft, and Vanessa catches the slight look over towards her. “Kind of helped to calm my brain down, y’know?”

“I feel that.” Vanessa can almost picture a twenty something Brooke, still in her scrubs and counting her breaths with the way the water brushed up against the rocks on the shoreline. “You still come here from time to time, huh?”

“Yeah.” Brooke nods, eyes scanning the horizon. “Still helps, here and there.”

“Real nice of you to bring me here.” Vanessa looks up at Brooke, still in her fancy dress and jacket draped over her shoulders, almost comically contrasting from the slice of pizza in her hand.

Brooke’s cheeks turn slightly pink. “Can’t think of any place better to devour some pizza like this.”

Vanessa’s brain is still stuck on a younger Brooke - not as young as when they were in undergrad, but a fresher doctor, a less experienced one. “What was it like?”

Brooke’s brow furrows. “What was what like?”

“Internship. Residency. All of that.” Despite the fact that they haven’t been in each other’s lives for years and years, it still feels strange to think that there’s so much of Brooke that Vanessa doesn’t know. So many of her memories, her experiences.

So much that she wants to know.

“Well, I did them both right here. In the city.” Brooke points behind them, back towards the amalgamation of hospitals that take up an entire block in the downtown core. “It was like most internships and residencies - incredibly traumatic.”

Vanessa lets out a snort. If that didn’t sum up the complete truth of the early years of being a doctor.

“A lot of sleepless nights, doubting myself. All of that. But made it through. How was yours?” Brooke asks the last bit with her eyes pulling back to look out towards the water.

“LA was-” Vanessa pauses on her words, remembering the fact that her and Brooke haven’t actually talked about it.

Vanessa moving away, across the continent. Leaving Brooke behind.

But do they really need to talk about it now?

Vanessa doesn’t want to, not really.

So, she’s not going to. She’s gonna keep it light, because they don’t need to go anywhere near that topic. “The LA hospitals I did it at were chill. ‘Cept for the resident that supervised me as an intern. She was like a damn military sergeant. Kept us all in a line and everything.”

Brooke looks back towards her at that, curiosity covering the trepidation that had been previously written on her face. “Like, a literal line?”

“A literal line, we followed her like ducklings!” Vanessa thinks back to being an intern in scrubs that were too big for her, ones that she had to roll up at the cuffs so that she wouldn’t trip in them. When the hospital felt vast and endless, not quite her domain just yet.

“Though we got to do a lot of cardiac shit. I got to stay on that unit more than others, I liked that.”

“How’d you manage that?”

Vanessa grins. “Needled the attending surgeon until he was so annoyed by my unending questions that he had to take me on to get me to stop. Annoyance is a great strategy.”

Even Brooke can’t resist a grin back at Vanessa’s statement. “Why can I picture that so clearly?”

Vanessa flips her hair over her shoulder. “Because I go after what I want, that’s why.”

“You sure got it.” Brooke’s smile is still on her face, but the mirth doesn’t quite reach her eyes. Back when they were in university, Vanessa used to be able to tell exactly what Brooke was thinking. What the little changes in her face meant, what exactly she was holding back from saying. She used to be so proud of it back then, knowing her girlfriend so well. Now, though, Vanessa feels like she’s behind a glass wall, like she’s going to have to work hard all over again to break through it and tune into Brooke the way she should be.

“Mostly. Mostly got it. The job part, sure.” Vanessa closes the pizza box that they’ve polished off between the two of them, leans back against the windshield of Brooke’s car.

“Yeah. We got the jobs.” Brooke’s voice is soft. They’ve both reached what undergrad them had been striving for, trying to work so hard towards. They’re at the top of their games in their respective fields, having both gotten what they had wanted.

But they both had to leave things behind in the process to get there. Sacrifices left at the altar of their hopes and dreams and aspirations. Sacrifices such as each other.

Brooke lifts up the empty pizza box, sliding herself off of the hood of the car before holding a hand out for Vanessa. She grabs it and yelps when Brooke pulls her off of the car right after, landing on her feet with an oof.

Vanessa holds back a yawn, the long day catching up with her; and of course Brooke notices. “C’mon. Let me take you home. You’re dead on your feet.”

“M’not tired.” Vanessa’s not. She’s having fun with Brooke for the first time in so long and she doesn’t want it to end, because then what if they won’t have any time like this ever again?

“Yeah, you are. It’s like, almost 1 a.m.” Brooke checks her watch. Vanessa’s about to put up a half hearted protest to Brooke’s words before she continues. “We can do this again, you know.”

Vanessa perks up. “Yeah?”

The smile is reaching Brooke’s eyes now, making them sparkle and it’s a sight that Vanessa’s missed, one that she never wants to let go of ever again. “If you want to.”

“I want to.” The words come out more forceful than Vanessa intends them to, but it’s true, she wants this. Wants more. More time with Brooke, more time outside of consultation meetings and seeing each other in the hallways and sex in offices. She wants to know Brooke again, make her laugh more until she gets those cute little crinkles by her eyes when she giggles.

“Good. Me too.” Brooke reaches her hand out, linking their pinkies together and if Vanessa didn’t know any better, the smile on Brooke’s face right now would look almost shy. Flushed. As if they’re two teenagers with their first crushes all over again. As if they don’t have volumes and volumes of baggage and history that are already propping them up.

Vanessa can’t help herself from casting glances over at Brooke as she drives, watching the way she’s blinking away sleep as her hand grips the steering wheel. Her mind is made up when Brooke pulls up to her apartment building. “You’re dead on your feet now too, B. It’s nearly two.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll head home now, don’t worry.” Brooke yawns, rolling out her neck as she shifts her car into ‘park’.

“In this state? We work in five hours, you can’t drive like this.” Vanessa’s not going to let Brooke back on the road when she’s practically snoozing already. Especially not on the ever so busy downtown Toronto streets, where it would probably take her another twenty minutes or more to get home, anyway.

“I’ve been called in to the hospital for emergencies at three in the morning before. And so have you, I bet. I’ll be fine.” Vanessa would believe Brooke right now, she would, if she didn’t remember the way she’s driven in for those kinds of late night calls herself, nearly falling asleep at the wheel.

“Still. Don’t want my ass to get sued if you crashed your fancy Lexus into a pole or something while driving home and they blamed it on me. You’re sleeping here.”

Brooke raises an eyebrow at her, but doesn’t argue. A win.

It’s certainly not how Vanessa’s imagined bringing a girl home, much less Brooke. Though pulling out some spare pyjamas, a baggy shirt and shorts because she knows that Brooke is much taller than her gives Vanessa a strange sense of déjà vu, as if the action is the most familiar thing to her in the world. As if Brooke sleeps over at her place all the time, as if her bed has actually held Brooke rather than just the thoughts of her that invade Vanessa’s mind when she’s had too much to drink or feels too lonely.

“Take my bed. Imma camp out on the couch.” Vanessa’s brain is too tired to think about the ramifications of them sharing a bed, of what it could mean. A topic saved for a later time, when she really wants to delve deep and put herself through it.  

“I’m not gonna take your bed away from you, especially because we work so soon. Go sleep. I’ll take the couch.” Of course tonight happens to be the night that Brooke feels like arguing with her over a damn bed.

“Just take the bed-”

Brooke wiggles her car keys, the jingle interrupting Vanessa. “I’m taking the couch or I’m driving right now.”

“So pushy. Fine.” Vanessa mumbles the words because she’s tired and doesn’t care that much, really, when it’s so late. If Brooke wants the couch that bad, she can take it.

Sleep doesn’t come to Vanessa as fast as she wants it to, though, once she’s washed her face and changed into her pyjamas and climbed into bed. Not when Brooke’s on the other side of Vanessa’s bedroom door, camped out on her couch under her spare blanket and in her pyjamas, as if this is perfectly normal for the two of them to do. As if Vanessa isn’t about to lose her mind thinking about it.

Vanessa turns over to lie on her side for what feels like the millionth time that night, no position seemingly comfy enough to let her brain drift off and rest as the numbers on her clock creep closer and closer to the morning.

She’s still awake when she hears the soft pad of footsteps outside her room, and her door creaking open tentatively, letting the tiniest crack of light in and casting shadows along the walls. There’s no way Vanessa can sleep now, not even when the light dims as the door closes once more because Brooke is right there, standing by her door. Vanessa can feel it, even if she’s turned away and facing the wall and her eyes are squeezed shut tight because she’s still pretending to be sleeping.

Vanessa can feel her heart pound as Brooke shifts her weight as she stands, making the floor squeak underneath her feet. She seems to be debating what to do and Vanessa just wants to tell her to hurry up already, to put her out of her misery. But then Brooke seems to make a decision as takes a step closer and she’s climbing in, pulling the covers over herself too and she’s in Vanessa’s bed and right beside her and how can Vanessa still pretend to be asleep now?

Brooke tentatively reaches out and all pretenses are gone because Vanessa snuggles closer, burying herself against her. The feeling nearly bowls her over, as if she isn’t already lying down in bed because being in Brooke’s arms like this is something that she hasn’t felt in years. The way Vanessa’s heart twists when Brooke lets out a soft little sigh and kisses her head makes her realize that she’s missed being like this more than anything in the world. Missed feeling like she’s complete, all protected and safe and as if the problems that could trouble her suddenly don’t matter anymore. Not when she has Brooke with her like this, limbs tangled and all warm and holding onto her tight and it’s okay, really, because Brooke’s holding her the same way too. As if she doesn’t want to lose her, to let her go. To break the delicate spell between them.  

The soft pictures of her dreams come to her quick after that, as her breaths even out and begin to sync with Brooke’s, because everything is okay when they’re like this. Vanessa is convinced of that fact.

[t0ngue-tech]

Deadline | Three

“Without saying a single word, you emerged turned around and reached out to wrap your arms around Jungkook’s torso. He stumbled a bit before finding his footing. You knew you caught him off guard because it took him a few seconds before he snaked his arms underneath your hair to secure them around your neck.

‘U-Uh--’ Jungkook stammered.”

↠fluff, angst, highschoolAU, fakerelationshipAU↞

word count: 7.4k

↠series: 1 | 2 | 4 | 5 | 6 | ↞ 

A/N: HI GUISE OMG IT’S BEEN SO LONG HASNT IT, BUT HERE I AM!!!! ive honestly been working on this since finals and even when finals finished, i hit a writer’s block. then, all of a sudden i was hit with a rush of motivation and this is the outcome huhu. i hope you all enjoy!!!!

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The clock ticked endlessly on and on as the students of your history class were in disarray. Usually everybody would be working with their partners on the history project, but a substitute teacher sat at your teacher’s desk instead; this meant a free period.

Jennie sat with you, huddled in a corner of the classroom catching up on other work for another class. You assisted her with whatever she needed while also proofreading a paper from your AP English class.

“Are you sure you don’t want to sit by Jungkook?” Jennie whispered.

Your eyes darted across the room and spotted Jungkook with his head down on the desk, buried within his arms.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” You brought your attention back to your paper.

“You do know that two of Chaeyoung’s goons are in this class, right? They’re probably going to tell every single detail about you and Jungkook that happens here.” Jennie leaned in closer to keep her voice at a hushed whisper.

Jennie did have a point, but despite that, you stayed planted in your seat. You were used to having Chaeyoung’s friends’ eyes glancing at you from time to time in class but ever since the night in the diner parking lot, they’ve been watching you like a hawk. It was a bit concerning.

The substitute reminded everyone that the sign-in sheet was at the front of the class and to straighten out the desk before leaving. Before the bell rang, Jungkook awoke from the sound of the desks scraping against the tile floors. He stretched out his limbs and lazily threw his backpack over his shoulder.

As soon as the bell rang, the students stampeded towards the door and Jennie bid you adieu. Jungkook glided across the class to where you were, still putting papers in their correct folders. He held your water bottle and phone in one hand, patiently waiting for you to get situated. When you finished adjusting your bag on your bag, he silently reached for your hand and slid his fingers in between yours. It’s been roughly two weeks and you still weren’t used to the feeling of holding his hand.

“I’ve never seen you look this tired.” You spoke over the rush of students in the hallway.

Jungkook yawned deeply and shook his head to wake himself up a little. “I’ve had three consecutive late night training and it’s been a while since I’ve done this.”

“Do you have a fight coming up?”

“Next month, but I need to make weight and train as much as I can so I have a lot of work to do.” He explained.

“Hm,” you hummed. “I guess this means you have to cut back on the fries.”

Jungkook dropped his jaw slightly. “Oh my god, you’re right.”

Since the two of you started this fake relationship, Jungkook always walked you to your fourth period. He didn’t mind being a few minutes late to his class because his teacher was “cool.” It worried you a little, but he stressed that it was really no big deal.

“Do you have a meeting after school?” Jungkook stationed you against the wall near your classroom to let other students pass through.

“I just have to drop off a few folders to the club classroom and then I have to pick up a package for my mom at the post office right after.” You reached for the items Jungkook held for you and he gave them back to you with ease.

“Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow then. I’m gonna head straight home after school to sleep before my practice tonight.” Jungkook sighed as he enveloped you into a tight hug. The hug lasted roughly a minute and just before he let go, it felt as if he placed a soft kiss to the top of your head; unless that was his chin bumping against you because of how tall he was compared to you.

You were used to seeing Jungkook with an abundance of energy and seeing how physically exhausted he was now worried you a lot more than it should have. Instead of focusing like how you usually did, you spent the entire class period looking up different kinds of foods that boxers could eat while trying to make weight. A lot of the information you found were similar lists of light proteins and reminders to watch the sugar and fat intake.

A lightbulb went off somewhere inside of your head and you were now creating a small shopping list in the notes section of your phone. This wasn’t your problem, but somehow you felt compelled to support him. Maybe it was the title of being his “girlfriend,” who knows.

↠↞

You [3:04]: hi mom, i just picked up your package and i’m heading to the grocery store. let me know asap if you need anything

When you arrive at the grocery store parking lot, your mother replied with a short list of a dozen eggs, cherry tomatoes, and a bag of salt and vinegar chips.

“Ground turkey...ground turkey...ground turk-ah.” You dropped the package of lean meat into your shopping cart.

You never tried cooking any of the dishes you had bookmarked on your phone, so your nerves were shaking inside of you. There was a lot more options that weren’t as complicated, but of course, you didn’t want to settle with that.

It never occurred to you that there was a possibility you could poison Jungkook just before his boxing match. This thought made you want to put everything back on the shelves, but you also thought about how tired Jungkook looked today and it gave you some strength to follow through with your plan.

“Ooooh, mama y/n. Making dishes for your man.”

On your way home, Jennie called you to talk for a bit before she took her sister to her dance lesson. You filled her in with your plan to make a few meals for Jungkook so he can keep his energy up and Jennie was elated.

“Jennie, calm down. He’s not my man. I’m just trying to better a good...person? For him?” You pulled up to your driveway and disconnected your phone from your car. “Am I taking this role too seriously?”

“Sigh, y/n. You’re doing exactly what you need to do.” Jennie explained in your ear. “This is going to help you feel more like a girlfriend-girlfriend for him! I’ve seen you hang out with him at school and I can tell you’re still awkward with this whole thing.”

You shuffled into your house with your bags of groceries dangling from your arms and your phone tucked in between your shoulder and ear. “I’m still trying to get used to him, okay? You still have a point, but I might kill him.”

Jennie laughed in your ear and sighed. “That’s okay!”

Your mother waved at your from the kitchen counter and rushed over to help you with your bags.

“I’ll let you know how it goes, bye! Love you!” Just like that, you hung up before Jennie could say anything else.

You remembered that you didn’t tell your mother about Jungkook and you weren’t ready to confront her about him yet.

“How was school, y/n?” Your mother glided over to help you unload your bags.

“It was fine—it’s okay mom, I got this, you can continue with whatever you were doing.” There was a tinge of panic in your voice which didn’t sound as convincing as you wanted it to be.

Your mother lifted an eyebrow and reached in to grab her bag of chips. “Okay, honey. Just uh, don’t forget to put the eggs in the fridge.”

It took a few minutes for your mother to leave the kitchen because she rummaged through the fridge to retrieve a bottle of iced tea to have with her chips. She sat down at the dining table where her laptop was set up as well as a stack of papers.

You silently moved around the kitchen to put certain foods inside of the fridge and laid out a cutting board and other cooking utensils. The first order of business was to wash the lettuce and other vegetables you were going to use.

“Let’s see, lettuce wraps…” After rinsing the vegetables, you tied an apron around your waist. “Season the ground turkey with salt…” You whispered the instructions to yourself and carefully measured the spices and dropped them into the bowl with the ground turkey. It was such a delicate process and you wanted to get everything right on the first try because besides preparing him a few meals, you wanted to surprise him during his training tonight.

To an extent, you knew your way around the kitchen. You could easily whip a meal for yourself that could be done with minimum ingredients, but you weren’t skilled enough to create detailed meals meant for others to eat. This was one of those cases.

You were tempted to ask your mother for assistance because she cooked more often than you did. It wouldn’t hurt to do so, plus you could easily say that the food was for yourself.

“Mom…?” You called out quietly.

Your mother hummed and typed away at her keyboard.

“I may or may not need help.”

She stood up from her chair to take a glance at whatever you were doing. All of your ingredients were sprawled out all over the island in the kitchen. Everything was in disarray and your mother chuckled at the chaos.

“And what in the world are you making?” Your mother closed her laptop and strolled over to the mess of vegetables and packages of meat.

“I—uh, I’m making a whole bunch of shi—“ you stopped yourself from completing your sentence. “Stuff. A whole bunch of stuff.”

You barely started the cooking process and you already felt defeated. It was in your nature to figure things out and handle things on your own, but this was cooking for another party so you needed all the help the universe could give you.

“Okay, well, what exactly are you making y/n?” Your mother asked while tying on her own apron.

“Ground turkey lettuce wraps, roasted vegetables, sweet potato fries, and some sort of protein bowl with these chicken tenders, and a lot more stuff.” As you listed your menu, your mother stared at you suspiciously. “What?”

“Nothing, I just—I didn’t know you had such a healthy diet that’s all.”

There were two reasons why you felt yourself sweating: 1) prepping ingredients was tough work and 2) you hated lying to your mother.

“Yeah, I just wanted to try something new, you know? Gotta stay in shape somehow someway.” You let out a nervous chuckle and your mother stared at you, unconvinced.

It took a few seconds before your mother scaled the island to stand next to you. She eyed out the mess in front of you and sighed.

“You know, y/n,” she began and you swallowed the lump in your throat. “When your father was still alive, I used to prepare a lot of meals for him just like this because he always left for work before the sun came up.”

You knew exactly what your mother was trying to tell you and yet you still hesitated.

“I may be going out on a limb here, but is this for that boy who dropped you off back home a few days ago?”

Right on the money.

It only took a matter of seconds plus the piercing gaze coming from your mother to crumble and nod your head. You had no problem in confining in your mother with absolutely anything, but this was painful for you to do. Despite what you told Jungkook, the reason why you didn’t tell your mother about your “relationship” is because it was only temporary. She had just witnessed you sulk throughout the entire summer and you didn’t want to burden her a second time by telling her that you and Jungkook “broke up.” Keeping the relationship a secret would have been hard work but you had to do what you had to do.

“You saw him?” You asked quietly.

She nodded her head and pulled out an extra cutting board from one of the compartments in the island. “I was repotting some of my flowers at the side of the house and when I got up to stretch, I saw you two through the gate; he opened the door of his car for you.”

For the record, you and Jennie both bet that your mother was going to say something within the first week.

“Uh, y-yeah. His name is Jungkook.” The smile that appeared on your face happened on an impulse.

You proceeded to tell your mother the forged story Jungkook came up with and also mentioned that you known him since elementary and that he was your partner for a history project.

“Wait, is this the same Jungkook who put the gum in your hair?” Your mother exclaimed with a laugh.

“That’s—That’s the one.” The bitter memory of having to cut your hair just below your shoulders flashed in your head. You also remembered the moment when Jungkook’s mother showed up the next day to pick him up from school and made him apologize again. She also gave you a ziploc of powdered brownies because of how terrible she felt.

“Wow, what a small world, huh?” Your mother smiled fondly at you. “Y/n, you know that I don’t want you hiding this kind of thing from me. You can trust me.”

It truly broke your heart hearing her words. If it was already difficult admitting the relationship, you knew you were going to suffer when the deadline would occur.

“I know, mom. I’m sorry.” You replied sadly.

She patted your back and grinned. “Don’t be sorry, honey. Now let’s get this chaos in order because first and foremost, you should always prep all of your ingredients first.”

Cooking took a lot longer than you expected because of your lack of skills. It was a trainwreck, but your mother managed to assist you in making a few days worth of meal prep for Jungkook. Even though you burnt your fingers on the pans from roasting the vegetables in the oven, you were satisfied with the outcome.

“Hopefully Jungkook isn’t going to die.” You sighed.

Your mother pulled out a reusable bag from the cupboard and neatly stacked the tupperwares inside.

“He’s going to be fine, y/n. I taste tested your food and it tastes fine. Just be sure to tell Jungkook that I’m going to be needing my tupperware back.” She instructed.

You nodded and mentioned that you were going to use her car because your keys were in your room which was “too far” for you.

As you boarded the driver side of her car, you sighed deeply thinking about if this was too much of a gesture. Giving someone food is one thing but making a home cooked meal was another.

“It’s fine, y/n. It’s fine. It’s just food, it’s not like your kissing him or something—okay wait, no. Just shut up and drive.” You muttered to yourself and started the engine.

↠↞

The gym that Jungkook trained at was about a fifteen to twenty minute drive from your house which meant it was most likely closer to his house. It was no secret where Jungkook trained, plus you had him on almost all of your social media platforms so you saw parts of what the gym looked like.

When you pulled into the parking lot, you spotted Jungkook’s car easily because of how bare the lot was at that time of night. You had time to abort your mission, but you found yourself stepping out of your vehicle and grabbing the bag from the passenger seat.

Entering the gym, there was a strong stench of overused body spray mixed with the tiniest tinge of sweat. There were a few people still using the exercise equipment and a few boys and girls working with a trainer. You took a couple of more steps inside and you easily spotted Jungkook sparring with his coach in the boxing ring towards the left wing of the gym. You approached the surrounding area cautiously, not wanting to distract Jungkook from his training.

You watched Jungkook take forceful jabs to the sparring equipment that his coach was holding. The sound of his boxing gloves hitting his coach’s punching mitts was intense, almost making you flinch with each punch. With the headgear blocking majority of his face, it was still clear it was Jungkook because of his strawberry blond hair.

From where you were standing, you could hear his coach tell him to take a break for a bit. He helped Jungkook remove his mouth guard and boxing gloves. Jungkook took off his headgear and ran a hand through his sweaty hair. He quickly glanced in your direction and took a double take just as quick. Jungkook climbed out of the ring and you met him half way as he wiped down his body with a towel.

“Hey, uh, this is a nice surprise.” Jungkook chuckled.

“Hi.” You said blankly. You didn’t realize you were spacing out until Jungkook waved his hand in front of your face. “I come bearing gifts.”

Before handing him the bag, Jungkook offered you a seat at a bench nearby. He sat down a couple of inches away from you, apologizing that he probably smells disgusting and is drenched with sweat.

“I couldn’t shake the thought of you being exhausted all day and you also mentioned that you had to make weight. So I took the liberty to meal prep you some food.” You explained and handed him the bag.

Jungkook smiled at you with a shocked expression and peered inside of the bag. He rummaged through the tupperware that were labeled with post its.

“Y/n, I--I don’t know what to say, thank you so much.” He couldn’t erase the smile from his lips and opened up the tupperware that contained a thick turkey wrap that was cut into two. There was also a batch of roasted sweet potatoes, parsnip, and red bell peppers stuffed inside. “Did you eat dinner yet?”

Well shit. You were so focused on cooking for Jungkook that you haven’t even eaten anything since that afternoon.

“N-No, I haven’t.”

“Great! No, not great but, wanna stay for about ten more minutes? I’m gonna do one more session and I want to share this with you.” Jungkook closed up the tupperware and stood up.

You were worried that Jungkook felt hesitant about eating the food you made yourself; with the help of your mother of course. But he looked extremely excited about asking you to eat with him that saying no didn’t seem like an option.

“Yeah, I’ll stay.” You answered sweetly.

“Okay, just sit tight.” He spoke, practically skipping all the way back to the boxing ring.

Before getting started, Jungkook and his coach exchanged a few words and peeked over Jungkook’s shoulder to wave at you. It was most likely he introduced you as his girlfriend; it was still a weird title to have under your belt.

It was exhilarating watching Jungkook in the ring. You didn’t mean to stare, but you found yourself gawking at his biceps that were glistening under the fluorescent lights. You remembered Jungkook being scrawny back in middle school and freshman year. Then all of sudden, he grew taller, gained muscles, and gained the habit of dying his hair often. Honestly, he had always been adorable but you never saw Jungkook in that way, ever. It was difficult to admit, but he looked attractive in his element.

That was it though. Just attractive.

The ten minutes flew by in a blink of an eye. He politely asked you to wait for another five minutes because he wanted to wash up before sitting in close proximity with you for the second time. Just like those ten minutes, the five minutes passed just as quickly. Jungkook came out from another room, waddling with his drenched hair bouncing everywhere and his duffle bag swinging from his side. He gestured you over to exit the gym which you were thankful for. The overwhelming smell of the body spray started to give you a headache.

↠↞

“Are you sure you want to share this with me? I made this for you, Jungkook.” You questioned as you sat on the parking block in the empty parking stall next to Jungkook’s car.

Jungkook tossed his duffle bag into the backseat of his car and proceeded to sit next to you. He changed into a dark gray track suit and still had water dripping from the ends of his hair.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I always drink some protein after training and that’s going to fill me up pretty well. You can have the other half of this wrap since you didn’t eat yet—oh fuck, my blender bottle.” He retreated back to his car and retrieved his blender bottle that already had a measured amount of protein powder and a bottle of water. “Have you made one of these before?”

You shook your head and he handed you both bottles and just as you were making his meal prep, you felt like you were going to ruin his protein.

“You see this line here? 12 ounce? Fill the blender up to there, close it tightly and then shake as if your life depended on it.” He instructed.

The instructions were simple and yet you still continued to second guess yourself over something so trivial. You did as you were told and as you shook the bottle, Jungkook laughed at the strained look you had on your face.

“Hey! Cut me some slack. I don’t shake protein on a regular basis.” You abruptly stopped the motion and Jungkook continued to laugh whilst pleading for forgiveness.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it’s just--” Jungkook still failed to stifle his laughter. “Your face---” He took the bottle from your hands and imitated the look of your eyes screwed shut and your lips pursed closely to your teeth. Jungkook’s expression caused a burst a laughter to rise out of you and playfully shoved him off of the parking block.

“Just eat your food, Jeon!” You chuckled.

Jungkook recovered from him fit of laughter and proceeded to take the lid off the tupperware. Your fingers trembled as he handed you the other half of the wrap. While your eyes held the gaze of anxiety, he had the gaze of astonishment mixed with hunger.

“So, what’s in it?” He asked whilst examining the wrap.

“Uh, turkey breast slices, yellow bell pepper, spinach, tomato, and hummus.” As you explained, Jungkook lifted the wrap closer and closer to his mouth.

The deafening silence between the two of you as Jungkook bit and chewed was astounding. Your throat had gone dry and it felt as if your half of the wrap was going to slide out of your hands.

Jungkook abruptly stopped mid-chew and looked at you with his eyebrows knitted together. Your eyes turned into moons as you felt your heart break piece by piece.

“Y/n…” Jungkook mumbled slowly.

You swallowed the lump in your throat, trying to prepare yourself for the rejection of your food. However, you did expect it.

“This is fucking delicious.” He said in pure bliss. “I don’t ever eat anything like this, but holy shit, this is amazing.”

The disappointed look on your face twisted into a confused facial expression. “Really?! Are you sure?”

“Try it.”

Even after your mother’s approval and Jungkook’s compliment, you were still hesitant in taking a bite. Jungkook gestured at you to try the turkey wrap as he took his own bite.

You took a breath and proceeded to follow through with the action. After chewing for a bit, you came to the realization that, “wow, okay, this isn’t bad.”

“See?! It’s great!” Jungkook gave you a pat on the shoulder. “Why were you so nervous about it?”

“It’s because the only people I’ve ever cooked for are my mom and Jennie.” You explained. “I make the most basic things ever, so you know, of course I’d be nervous making you something that I made.”

He nodded his head and reached for one of the vegetables in the tupperware. “Well, I really appreciate it, y/n—for doing this, I mean. You didn’t have to.”

“I know.” You sighed. “I wanted to.”

Jungkook smiled at you with his cheeks puffed out from the food that he stuffed inside. You felt compelled to poke one of his cheeks, but you fought it because bringing him food was already as “intimate” as you could get.

You still found it hard to make the first move to hold Jungkook’s hand in school or even hook your arm with his. He always initiated skinship first which you were grateful for because you were obviously too chicken to do it yourself.

“So,” You started after swallowing another bite of the turkey wrap. “I uh--my mom, she uh, you know, knows.”

Jungkook stopped midway through his bite and stared at you with concerning eyes. “What happened?”

You began to tell the tale of your mother’s smart instincts. Jungkook’s cheeks flushed for a moment.

“She remembers you as the kid who put gum in my hair.” You gently nudged his shoulder and he snorted at the memory.

“Ah, yeah, I remember that. My mom got so mad at me.” He sighed and flicked at a lock of your hair with clean fingers. “Sorry about that, by the way.”

You envisioned the eleven year old version of Jungkook who “stealthily” stuck a wad of gum in your hair but tripping over someone’s backpack while trying to flee.

“It’s alright.” You chuckled and put your hand up.

Jungkook quickly finished the rest of his wrap and chugged half of his protein shake. “You want to try some? It’s chocolate.”

You hesitated at first, only because you had that split second thought of sharing an indirect kiss with him.

I need to stop watching anime.

After what seemed to be forever, you reached out and took a swig from his protein bottle and scrunched your nose.

“It tastes like...grass.” You shuddered and smacked your lips, still tasting the chocolately-grass flavored protein on your tongue.

Jungkook laughed sharply and escaped to grab another water bottle to give to you out of his duffle bag. “Yeah sorry, it’s a vegan protein. You get used to it when you drink it often.” He offered you another sip which you declined with a sour facial expression.

Your brain sifted through the thoughts that were racing inside of you and you thought about whether or not Chaeyoung was used to the taste of Jungkook’s protein flavor. You wondered if she ever gave him a home cooked meal or if she randomly showed up at the gym while he was training.

Duh. Of course she has y/n. She was his girlfriend.

You weren’t trying to compare yourself to Chaeyoung, but he did date her for three years which meant he was accustomed to random acts of flirtatious banter and actions. On the other hand, you were also used to those things but with Sehun, not Jungkook. It never really occurred to you before, but you wondered why he never hesitated to show public displays of affection to you; his breakup with Chaeyoung was just as “recent” as yours and yet it almost seemed like a second nature for him.

Just this once, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to ask.

“Hey Jungkook,” you began softly waiting for a signal from him to continue your words. “How is it so easy for you to do this?”

He tilted his head and pointed to his blender bottle. “Do what? Drink my protein?”

“No.” You chuckled. “I don’t know, pretend to be in this relationship with me. Pet names, holding my hand, you know, the works.”

Jungkook stretched his legs out in front of him and took a deep breath. “Honestly,” he started. “It isn’t easy.”

You raised an eyebrow. You weren’t expecting this answer at all.

“For three years, I’ve only affectionately held one girl’s hand and called only one girl babe or whatever. It’s all I’ve ever known--routine, you know. So, jumping right into something new terrified me a little, but I knew I had to be confident about this so Chaeyoung could finally leave me alone.” Jungkook explained.

This was probably one of the most serious moments you ever had with Jungkook. While you always made it known that you weren’t used to PDA with Jungkook, he remained confident with every move he made that you never suspected him to feel the same way as you did. It was honestly impressive.

Also, Jungkook was right. He had to do this in order for Chaeyoung to finally get off his back. Although you held his hand in the hallways and hugged him whenever he initiated it, Chaeyoung and her lackeys could probably tell from a mile away that there was something suspicious just from the look in your eyes; a woman’s intuition.

If you put as much effort as Jungkook did in the beginning, then maybe this whole thing would be over much quicker. After all, that was the stipulations of this fake relationship: it would last until Chaeyoung gives up. You also had a hidden goal embedded in this relationship which was to make Sehun jealous. Selfish? Yes. Did you care? A little.

You left the conversation as that and carefully eased into a different subject. Jungkook never questioned your question, he just casually followed your lead.

You decided to spend another ten minutes with Jungkook before deciding to head home; it was still a school night. Jungkook tidied up the backseat of his car to make proper room for the bag of meal prep so it wouldn’t fall over while he drove.

“By the way, am I still picking you up tomorrow morning?” Jungkook asked taking the bag from you.

“Yeah, if you still want to.” You gave yourself a few more seconds before continuing. “My mom actually starts a little later than normal tomorrow, so if you want to come out to say hi then..”

Jungkook took a noticeable breath and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, yeah. I’d love to say hi. I’ll stop by the usual time.”

You nodded your head and waited for Jungkook to ready himself to get into the driver’s seat. Instead, he shut the backseat door and gestured you your car. You cocked an eyebrow and spun around on your heel with Jungkook walking closely behind you.

“New car?” He asked.

“No, my mom’s.” You unlocked the car and just as he’s done every single time, Jungkook moved ahead of you to open the car door. You placed your phone into one of the cupholders and opened the middle console to double check if your wallet was still there.

There was a voice inside your head screaming at you to turn the fuck around and give Jungkook a hug or at least a high five. You hesitated because it’s what you do, but the voice grew louder and louder until your thoughts boiled over.

Without saying a single word, you emerged turned around and reached out to wrap your arms around Jungkook’s torso. He stumbled a bit before finding his footing. You knew you caught him off guard because it took him a few seconds before he snaked his arms underneath your hair to secure them around your neck.

“U-Uh--” Jungkook stammered.

This was your cue to release him and you did just that.

“Drive safe.” You playfully swatted his chest, making him flinch and then sliding into your mother’s car.

“You too. Drive safe.” Jungkook closed the car door and before he shifted his body, you caught a glimpse of a smile on his face. You started the engine and rolled the windows down. Jungkook turned back around to you and you waved him off so he could go to his car. He also waved goodbye and you waited until he got into his car before you pulled out of the parking stall.

The hug you gave him was going to be the first of many that you were going to initiate first. You promised yourself to actually act like a girlfriend for once. Hugs were a bit on the easy side for you because you didn’t need to look at him while doing it. Little by little, you were going to push yourself to initiate PDA towards Jungkook. Sehun would get jealous, Chaeyoung would officially call it quits with Jungkook and then everything would go back to normal.

↠↞

You loved it whenever your mother started later in the mornings. This meant you could sit at the table with her and chat before heading to school. It was rare for her to be home before you went to school because even on her days off, she would catch up on some sleep.

It was a quiet Wednesday morning and you were enjoying a plate of waffles drizzled with maple syrup and dusted with powdered sugar. Your mother sliced you up a few strawberries and poured you a nice tall glass of orange juice. Whenever she prepared a decent size breakfast like this, it reminded you of your childhood; breakfast with your parents on a typical Sunday morning with you begging your father to add whipped cream to your waffles and your mother nagged at you to not pile on more sugar on your breakfast. There wasn’t a lot of memories stored in your headspace, but you cherished them all.

“So that’s what you were working on yesterday.” You forked a slice of your waffle into your mouth.

“Yeah. I don’t know why the head honcho decided to move the meeting today on such short notice.” Your mother spoke from the kitchen, spooning another serving of the batter into the waffle maker. “At least I finished it, but I might be coming home an hour or two late because today’s schedule got completely rearranged.”

Nowadays, it was not uncommon for you to be home alone or alone until late hours of the night. Over the years, your mother worked hard and became head of her department in the office. By the time you were a sophomore, she went on a few business trips that left you home alone for a few weekends. You had to admit, it was a bit lonely at times, but you were extremely proud of her accomplishments.

Your phone vibrated against the hardwood of the dining table with a surprising text message from Jungkook.

[6:53] jeon kook: Outside

Your fork clattered on top of the plate and you bolted towards your driveway, disregarding your mother’s question.

“I thought the usual time meant 7:15?” You questioned Jungkook as he stood at the passenger side of his car, flattening out his shirt and ruffling his hair. He nonchalantly opened his car and pulled out a drink carrier that held three drinks.

Your eyes grew wide and your jaw dropped slightly.

“What--What is going on?” You asked suspiciously.

“Iced hazelnut latte for you and two orange-mango iced teas because I don’t know how your mom takes her coffee.” Jungkook explained holding up the carrier and shutting the car door.

“O-Okay.” You stuttered, still confused as to why he was doing this. “Let’s go in then.”

As the two of you walked up the pavement, you suddenly remembered this would technically be the first time he’s been in your home; the one time during elementary didn’t count because it was for your birthday party. Jungkook would be stepping into your home as your “boyfriend” and it was nerve wracking. Was your mother going to embarrass you? Were you going to embarrass yourself?

“Mom!” You called out, almost hesitant to let Jungkook inside. “Jungkook is here.”

You stepped out of the way to let Jungkook in who was struggling to kick hi shoes off before entering.

“H-Hi! Good morning Mrs--”

“Oh just call me ‘auntie’, Jungkook. It’s alright.” Your mother always instructed your friends to call her ‘auntie’ while Jennie called her ‘mom’.

“A-Auntie..” Jungkook repeated with a small smile. “I’m sorry to drop by on short notice.”

“It’s no problem. Have a seat and have some breakfast before you two head out.” At your mother’s words, you flashed her wide eyes. Even if this was all apart of the relationship package, you only prepared yourself for them to exchange greetings not have an entire conversation over breakfast.

“I don’t know how you take your coffee--or if you even like coffee, so I got you an orange-mango iced tea.” Jungkook took a few steps forward, nervous to enter the kitchen. You gave him a gentle push and he glided across your wooden floor to hand over her beverage.

“Oh, Jungkook, thank you.” She traded the drink with a plate of waffles for him to indulge in.

As he walked back towards you, you gave him a reassuring “okay” sign with your fingers. Jungkook seemed to want extra “good-boyfriend-points” and he seemed to be on the right track.

↠↞

Breakfast with your mother went surprisingly well.

One of the first things Jungkook said was an apology for ruining your hair and with a full hearted laugh, she forgave him. Your mother asked about school and shockingly, he didn’t quite lie about his academic performance. He expressed his struggle to focus in class sometimes and he was glad to have you tutor him from time to time. Nothing embarrassing, nothing too cringey, everything went exceptionally well.

Your mother thanked Jungkook for picking you up and also thanked him once again for the iced tea as you two were preparing to leave. She even witnessed him open the car door for you. You have to admit, you were impressed and proud of Jungkook for doing this.

“I’m pretty sure she likes you.” You commented and rolled down your window.

Jungkook chuckled and slicked his hair back. “Of course, why wouldn’t she?”

“Oh my god, I take it back.” You leaned further away from him, cringing at his greasiness.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” Jungkook gently tugged at your wrist to bring you back to how you were sitting before. “I swear I was shitting bricks though, but your mom is a lot easier to talk to than what I thought.”

You smiled as you listened to Jungkook rant about how he couldn’t sleep last night because he was too nervous. His eyes flickered from you back to the road and even still holding onto your wrist, he still spoke with a few hand gestures. This would have been your cue to wriggle yourself free, but you suppressed the urge. You had to get comfortable somehow, someway and this was your way of trying.

“By the way, how does your mom take her coffee?” Jungkook released your wrist as he reversed his car into a parking stall.

“Straight up black. Iced or hot. Ugh, it tastes disgusting.” You shivered and rubbed your wrist.

“I guess I’ll bring that over the next time I meet with you two.”

Small words were exchanged as the two of you exited Jungkook’s car. You had both of your backpacks at your footside during the whole car ride and he walked over to your side to take his bag from you, you offered to put it on for him. He squinted his eyes at you, wondering what you were up to this time. But you nudged him on to slip his arms through the straps.

“Hmm, y/n. What’s going on? First the meal prep then--oh fuck, my waffles!” Jungkook thrashed around and quickly opened the passenger side door of his car to reach for the ziploc with extra waffles that your mother made for him. “Anyway, first the meal prep, then that hug you gave me--which by the way, you never do first. During breakfast, you dressed up my waffles for me and now your helping me put on my bag? What exactly are you planning, Ms. y/n?”

You rolled your eyes at him. “First of all, at my house, it’s called manners. Second of all, I’m not planning anything. I’m just...playing my part.”

Jungkook chuckled and slyly weaved his fingers in between yours because of the amount of students that were in the parking lot.

“Well, whatever pushed that on, I’m glad it did. Chaeyoung was seriously doubting us.” He whispered.

“You know that for certain?” You asked intrigued because he did sound certain.

“Yeah, she told me.” Jungkook kept his hushed tone. “Remember at the diner? She went on and on saying that you didn’t seem like a ‘girlfriend’ because you acted differently with Sehun or whatever. I told her to just mind her business.”

A quiet sigh slipped past your lips. Chaeyoung wasn’t wrong, which was why you were trying your best to push past your boundaries and act like a better girlfriend. Jungkook hasn’t done anything that you didn’t like. He always quietly warned you if he was going to do something out of the ordinary like a back hug. You were always grateful for this, so you needed to meet him halfway for once.

“I--” You started. “I’ll try my best to do better, okay?”

Jungkook smiled at you and shook his bangs out of his eyes. “Thanks.”

He guided you all the way to your locker and leaned against the cool metal. This was practically routine for the two of you; you’d head to your locker first to grab whatever textbooks you needed for first and second period, then head over to Jungkook’s locker to grab a single notebook.

“Any plans for lunch?” Jungkook asked as he entered his locker combination.

“I was going to go to the math lab. I have to go over some criteria with Chanyeol since I didn’t get to stay for a full meeting for the past week.” You explained.

“I feel like that’s my fault since you’ve been helping me with my math work. Sorry about that.” Jungkook kept his head in his locker searching for god knows what.

“It’s no...problem.” You said barely above a whisper. Across the hall, you easily spotted Sehun with his group of friends chilling against another row of lockers. There was no doubt that he was staring right at you while his friends became background noise.

It wasn’t fair. You wouldn’t need to be making Sehun jealous in the first place if you two didn’t break up in the first place. You and Sehun would have been happy together and nothing would be messy right now.

Ugh. Shut up, y/n.

You didn’t even need to make Sehun jealous in the first place; this was just you being selfish. Sehun became unhappy at some point in the relationship and you had a personal duty to show him that you were happy with someone else.

“I guess I’m seeing you after school then.” Jungkook shut his locker, making you break the eye contact with Sehun. He kept his back turned without knowing who or what you were staring at.

“Yeah.” You absentmindedly tugged at Jungkook’s shirt to smooth out a couple of the wrinkles that splayed across. In return, he gently pushed a few hairs out of your face with his fingertips.

“Alright, let’s get you to class, Ms. y/n.” Jungkook took the textbook out of your grasp so he could properly hold your hand.

As you laced your hand into Jungkook’s, you stole a glance of Sehun whose eyes were still trained on you. You swore to yourself once again that you were going to show Sehun that you were happy with your boyfriend, Jungkook. Sehun was going to have to watch in the background as you walked the halls of the school with someone who wasn’t him.

Your class was in the opposite direction of where Sehun stood with his friends. Just as you started to walk off with Jungkook, you softly squeezed his hand and lean your head against his shoulder. There was an intense feeling of eyes piercing through the back of your head and just before Jungkook could look down at your face, you smirked.

Bingo.

-

-

-

♡ rae jagi

[uriurijihoonie]

🛡 ‘cause you’ve been hurt before, i can see it in your eyes + lee jihoon

warning: trauma caused by relationships word count: 2,198

You fully know what you went into.

Loving Lee Jihoon didn’t come easy.

Yet you still do, anyway.

You understand where he’s coming from though. He’s been lied to a lot of times, had his hopes up, was left hanging without a single word, any misfortunes he can experience as he loves, he experienced it all.

You understand his doubts and hesitance when you confessed to him, the small spark of happiness that turns to immediate fear in his eyes every time he’s with you, and how he holds back and becomes impulsive and harsh when he speaks; you were determined to change it.

You were determined to bring him back, slowly but surely.

“...Y/N? Are you listening?” You were brought back from your reverie when you heard Jihoon’s voice, at the same time his hand that was softly holding yours across the table.

Shifting your gaze from the iced coffee in front of you to his eyes, you smiled apologetically, “Sorry, Ji. I got caught up with my thoughts. What was it?”

Instead of Jihoon repeating what he was telling earlier, he asked, “Are you... are you getting tired of me?” He averted his gaze, his voice wavering which didn’t go unnoticed by your ears.

Instead of asking where’s he coming from, and why’d he suddenly thought of something like that, you held his hand tighter, your thumb softly brushing his hands, “I’ll never get tired of you, Ji. I’ll always be here for you even when you push me away, and I hope you always remember that.”

When Jihoon looks back at you this time, although it’s faint, you can see something light in his eyes, and for now, that will be enough.

--

It’s a common thing when it’s you who asks Jihoon out for dates, to hang out, or to just walk around. Yet it’s a special one when it’s Jihoon who invites you at the dorm.

For you, it doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing, you’re content with spending time with him, and grabbing every moment to do so.

You’re both already on the third movie of your Marvel Cinematic Universe marathon, with Jihoon already familiar with the movie, he didn’t spend much paying attention to the TV screen but instead to you, who’s too engrossed watching as you were hunched on his side.

Jihoon doesn’t help but feel guilty whenever there were times he still doubts what you feel for him despite all the things you’ve done for him, his past traumatizing experiences get him. Though the risk and his fear still holds him back, he can feel himself slowly opening up again, and it’s all because of you.

And instead of getting scared from the fast beating of his heart when he looks at you, to stopping himself when he feels butterflies when he hears your laugh, Jihoon starts acknowledging it once again.

“Thank you,” Jihoon mumbled, leaning his head on your shoulder. He can feel you turn to him as you hummed.

“Thank you,” he repeated more loudly. Turning your full attention to him, you rested your head above his, “I should be the one thanking you for introducing me to Marvel--”

“That’s... that’s not it,” he mumbled once again, shifting so he can hide his face on the space between your shoulder and neck. Jihoon still has troubles speaking about his feelings, but he knows he also need to let it out. “Thank you for staying.”

Knowing what he meant, it made you smile, your hand making it’s way to his hair, brushing it gently/ “I’ll always stay with you, cutie pie,” you laughed as you heard him groan at the mention of the nickname. “You’re welcome, Ji.”

Jihoon then grabbed your free hand, tracing figures on your palm, the movie long forgotten. “Can you please wait for me a bit more?”

“Always, Ji. Always. Take all the time you need.”

--

“Just stay on the line, Jihoon.”

“What do you--”

“Okay, shut up, be quiet. Y/N’s here.” Jeonghan quickly smiled as you sat on the seat in front of him, faux annoyance etched on your face.

“Why did you suddenly decide to meet up, huh?” You told him, grabbing the menu for yourself.

“Why? Is it bad to miss my one and only favorite baby sister?” You cringed at his words, opting to throw a tissue paper at him. “Very cringe-y, oppa. And I’m the only girl younger than you that you know.”

“You’re still my favorite.”

“I’ll tell you to Chan.”

Your bickering only paused for a moment when the waiter finally fetched your orders, continuing when they left, and paused once again when your orders finally came. You and Jeonghan are close friends, you find him as someone you can really rely to as a big brother and he’s the one you often run to, especially when it’s about you and Jihoon.

“Two years, huh, Y/N? Aren’t you getting tired?” Jeonghan suddenly asked, concern laced on his voice, making you smile at him.

“Like my answers before, no, I’ll never be.”

“How about you? You should spare for yourself.”

“That’s why I’m doing this. I came prepared, Oppa.”

Jeonghan smiles at you, your love and dedication towards Jihoon makes him relieved that he trusted his younger member and brother in your care.

“I hope he sees you’re worth it, that you’re worth the risk.”

You momentarily stopped eating, thinking of the right words to say. “You know what, Oppa? I’m not really rushing him about all these, nor I’m expecting anything from him to return my feelings at all. All I want is for him to heal, to not be afraid of experiencing love again, and to be happy, even though I may never be the reason for it.” 

It’s true, though; you may love him more than anything else, but if Jihoon really doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, yet knowing he’s finally happy and not afraid to love again, you’re contented.

Jeonghan felt more relieved than ever, and he badly wants to check if Jihoon’s still on the line, heard every word you said.

“You really love him, don’t you?”

“More than you’ll ever know,” you replied, your heart feeling light and elated.

After you talked with Jeonghan, you finally left, remembering your undone works. Jeonghan immediately lit up his phone screen, smiling when he saw Jihoon’s still on the line with him.

“I don’t know what type of assurance you still need that Y/N is not like the rest, but if it’s you who messed up this time and hurt her or worse, lose her, don’t come crying at me and I’ll be the first one who’ll hurt you. You’re smart, Ji. I’m not rushing you, but I know you know what to do. Please don’t mess this up, though Y/N is fixed when she decides something, she’s still human, Ji, she gets tired.”

--

You didn’t even know when all of your university work piled up, or it’s all on your professors posting assignments over assignments and demanding an early deadline that you felt like you’re bombarded with university stuff.

With this, you have to keep on cancelling some stuff you had set up with Jihoon weeks prior, and knowing his past, you were more than honest about what you’re doing and you tried to keep up with updating him from time to time.

Y/N 💛 [Tue, 9:13] Jiiii, I’m sorry, I can’t meet up with you today, prof suddenly announced a make-up class on 10 :(((((

Y/N 💛 [Tue, 9:13] (photo attached) it’s still empty and we’re only five in here yet :< I’m really sorry, Ji

Jihoonie 💞💞 [Tue, 9:15] It’s okay. Focus on your studies first.

Jihoonie 💞💞 [Tue, 9:17] I miss you, though.

Y/N 💛 [Tue, 9:30] YAH JIHOONIE that’s not very good for my heart :((( <3

Y/N 💛 [Tue, 9:32] Ok, prof’s here, she’s early

Y/N 💛 [Tue, 9:32] ttyl ji, I miss u 2 :(( <3

-

Y/N 💛 [Thu, 11:21] Jiiii, I’m sorry, I can’t meet you for lunch, this horrible prof of mine just asked for my presence

Y/N 💛 [Thu, 11:21] okay she’s looking at me as if it’s bad to use phones

Y/N 💛 [Thu, 11:23] gotta go, Ji, she looks like she’ll eat me alive :(

Y/N 💛 [Thu, 11:24] Ji? I hope you’re not angry or upset :(

Y/N 💛 [Thu, 11:24] I love you, ttyl? :(

But Jihoon, being Jihoon, your honest reasons were being eaten up with his dark thoughts.

It’s been two weeks since you last properly saw each other, and those span of two weeks, your contact with him lessened.

Jihoon couldn’t help but get swallowed by his thoughts once again, remembering the past these things happened where he’d been ghosted for weeks, which turned to months, and finding out he was just being left hanging.

And his defense mechanism was to ignore you and shut himself; it feels like going back to square one once again.

Until Jeonghan’s words rang through his mind, “I don’t know what type of assurance you still need that Y/N is not like the rest... You’re smart, Ji. I’m not rushing you, but I know you know what to do. Please don’t mess this up… she’s still human, Ji, she gets tired.”

--

You heaved out a heavy sigh and leaned back on your couch, slightly massaging your head as you finally finished the papers you need to submit. “I’m finally done with—“

You turned towards the door; continuous knocks filled the silence of your home. Slightly annoyed at the sound, you grumpily stood up, eyebrows furrowed. “Who the heck will bother me at—“

Your eyes widened and your body system jolted when you were enveloped in familiar warmth, an all too familiar scent invading your nose as there stood Jihoon on your doorway, locking you in his arms.

“I’m sorry Y/N, please don’t leave me, please don’t get tired me…” are the only coherent sentences you heard as Jihoon deeply snuggled into your neck, continuous mumbles of ‘I’m sorry’ leaving his lips and other incoherent words.

Still in each other’s arms, you gently dragged him inside and shut your door. Despite your confusion, you hugged him back tightly and ruffled his hair, trying to calm him down.

“Calm down, Ji. What’s wrong? It’s almost midnight, you could’ve texted me or—“

“I’m ready to take this risk with you, Y/N,” Jihoon whispered. Pulling away from him slightly, you looked up at him, meeting his eyes filled with something you cannot describe. “W-What?”

“You gave me so much time for my heart, for myself to take a break. I’m sorry if I took so long to confirm my feelings, but now I’m certain,” Jihoon paused, his arms went to your cheeks from your waist, cupping it gently.

“I love you, Y/N, and it will be stupid of me to let go of someone like you. Do you… Do you still accept me?”

Tears formed in the corner of your eyes, mirroring his. You feel Jihoon’s hands shaking, but not a bad type of shaking, and his eyes, still holding fear but not the same fear as before; fear of what your answer will be. Your heart feels light despite your want to cry; you’ve never been happier like this.

With your own, shaking hands, you held his cheeks, caressing it as if he’s one, fragile glass that should be taken extra care of. “Of course, Jihoon. I always tell you I’m here waiting, right? I love you too. Thank you.”

“No, Y/N. It’s you; thank you. Thank you for not giving up on me, for staying, for loving me despite of everything; thank you. And I believe it’s time for me to do the same thing to you.”

You smiled, your tears falling due to full happiness. “You don’t have to give back the same way, Ji. Just go with your own pace. Knowing that you’re here, knowing that you love me; it’s all enough.”

“I love you so much,” you closed your eyes as Jihoon held you closer, foreheads touching.

“And I love you so much, too.”

“Still, I’m one stubborn man, Y/N, I have to surpass what you did for me.”

You chuckled, “I wasn’t informed this is a competition.”

“It isn’t,” Jihoon replied, as he turned his face upwards and kissed your forehead. “But you deserve the best.”

BONUS (because I stayed up ‘til 4AM to outline this this is for myself lol just kidding)

“Are you really sure you’re going to marry me?” You looked at Jihoon from your lap, your right hand brushing his hair, while Jihoon was holding your left, the ring glistening in the sunlight as he kissed your hand.

“I’ve never been so sure, baby,” Jihoon replied, opening his eyes, meeting your gaze.

Years ago, what you saw in his eyes before were fear, hurt and doubt, and now, as he lay on your lap, hands holding each other, you were more than happy to be the reason it was exchanged with love, care, assurance and confidence, and you’re determined to keep that look on his for as long as you live.

And you’ve got plenty of time to do that.

lyrics prompt open! send in a song line + member!

[lucimorningstar812]

#ProjectCommunityFic

Hello it’s half 11 at night and I almost forgot about my own damn event I was supposed to post today and I’m also very anxious about this so haha here goes nothing

Many of us have seen, or even joined in with 'community fics'. These are the posts that start as something stand alone and people are inspired to add onto the story. The only issue is that sometimes people add some amazing additions, but their story never gets continued...

(And introducing my crappy MS Paint text addition because I wanted to make the post look a bit more exciting)

What I would love to do is exactly what we’ve done before, where a story starts with one person and people add on in reblogs, but this time including everyone, so here’s the idea

1) Everyone who wants to take part in the project will fill out this Google Form

https:// goo.gl/ forms/ z6yD3htCKSwae87t1 Without the spaces (since links don’t go into the tag) or alternatively, I’ll reblog this with a direct link

There’s only 5 simple questions, one of which is more of a poll to see if people want the story to branch off at certain points or be linear, and there’s also a sneak peak at the start of the story

2) The deadline is January 15th, which is in 2 weeks time, and the event itself will start on January 18th (leaving a couple of days in between for me to organise everything)

This gives you plenty of time for the word to get around and for you to put your name down

3) I will then arrange an order of people based on where they preferred to be placed and post the list on Tumblr

This will be posted on the evening of January 17th and the start of the story will be posted on the morning of January 18th (UK time). It can continue at your own pace after that. There’s no rush, so don’t worry if you’re a slow writer or need some time to process your ideas

4) Remember, you don't have to write paragraphs and paragraphs. Every addition is important

Don’t look at this and think ‘oh I’m not a good writer’ or ‘I won’t write enough’. This is about a collaborative effort to make a story. Your addition will subsequently change where the story will go because the next writer will be continuing from your ideas. ALSO, if you are an artist or a gif/photo editor, feel free to also add something extra to your part of the story

That’s it really until the deadline is hit. More information will be given when this mini community event begins. After this is over, I urge others to definitely take inspiration from this and plan their own writing events since my anxiety will probably get the better of me soon

Tagging the people who reblogged/showed an interest in the post I made in November (Sorry if I missed anyone. The post broke and I couldn’t see the other reblogs)

@theshapeshifter100 @huffletrax @turquoisemagpie @anothermarkiplierfan @dumbasticart @lppchan @randomuser12 @aqua-sound @hotcocoachia @mijako98 @chronically-illustrated @darcywillfindyou @seany-boy @indigorox @imallwaysconfused @iris-the-asparagus @th3wolffang @insaneangel18-blog @stardustnightfall @evetheemerald @anqshusxx @jaysflight @epicfangirl101 @kisstheashes @brynnicle @egopocalypse @flameheart2013 @anxiouscoffeegoblin @whydoilovesomanyvillians @lulu-the-bugaboo @chaotic-cheshire @eonthewingedwolf @superbanananinja234 @peacebear16 @rorald-spooks @mmmirkabat @ellenthejsefan @asailboatinthewindow @hellaacefromouterspace​ @flish-looks-at-stuff​ @fruitycasket​ @boopymooplier​ @j-u-s-t-sam​ @magical-duck-from-hell @constantly-cloud

[sunnysidewrites]

College barista!Seungcheol

Based on this prompt: I know I keep coming to the cookie shop and for some reason it’s always your shift but don’t you dare judge me I need these for my sanity

@officialseungcheol hey hun it’s me, your secret santa!!! I’m so sorry for being late aaaa but I really hope you enjoy this trainwreck!!! I had so much fun drafting this I got so soft omg and I tried to get a feel of what you liked, and I decided to go with a college!au bc you said you liked that!!! We’re finally free from finals so this seemed to fit ❤️❤️💞💞 Merry Christmas honey!!! I hope you spend it with loved ones and have a lovely time so much like yourself!!! it was so fun talking to you and I hope to continue that 🎁🎁🎄🎄🎄🎄 lemme know what you think!!!!

warnings: there’s probably way too much winking and ur gonna burst from too much soft :///

You’re a mess

Well, aren’t we all hun

But you’re pretty sure you’re a deadline away from flipping that cafeteria table across the room

You should have listened to your gut instinct to not tackle your college’s 2 hardest science classes in a single term but here you are suffering they’re also all labs :’))))

It’s way too late for that though!!!! Finals are only in 1 week!!!!

And you are fully ready to tear out all your hair

So,,, many,,,, papers,,,, and projects,,,,

And what’s a better way to relieve your stress through binge eating?

You particularly like eating sweets to satisfy your sweet tooth cravings

You’re always swinging by that little quaint cafe shop fifteen minutes away from your dorm

“I’m also getting some exercise” you tell yourself as you munch on your 9th cookie and counting

Wow. relatable.

The first time you entered, you were there to try out some freshly baked cookies and bought a drink with it

So let’s just say the reason why you keep reentering the cafe isn’t solely because of the bomb treats

“Next, please!”

Your eyes were still on the menu above as you were walking towards the counter

When your eyes finally dropped down you were gonna legit fall bc a beaut like that???? Actually exists???????

His wide doe eyes were looking back at you expectantly, his mouth slightly parted open in a slight grin

“Are you ready to order?” He playfully teased, his smile growing a little more

I’ll have you cheol ;))))) a whole meal

You try to shake yourself out of your trance and proceed to order your classic warm gooey chocolate chip cookies with your drink

This b thinks he’s so slick when he asks for your name

“Y/N”

“Pretty name as the person ;) ;) ;)”

You’re taken aback and you’re trying to ignore your brain internally screaming at you

Your eyes shift to his name tag and you squint and lean forward a little to read the small text

“So is… Seungcheol”

All he does is give you a smile and moves toward the person at the coffee station, so you take that cue to leave with your cookies and find a table

As you get settled down and play on your phone, you occasionally glance up to check the progress of your drink

And ya know,,,,, eye candy,,,, it’s not just the food that’s a snack amirite ;))))

Wow ok i gotta stop lmao

And every. Single. Time. he’s there looking back at you

He even throws in a lil wink wink and you’re like lksddfjkdfkjdl i am only here for my drink

And that was your eventful first encounter with the infamous Choi Seungcheol

The stress didn’t end there though!!!

Finals were inching closer by the second and you were going ballistic over the stress

So you did what anyone does:

STACK ON THEM TREATS

It’s only been a day since you were last in the shop but you were really craving sweets and the lil cafe was now your go-to for everything

As you were walking, you felt just a lil spark of hope that maybe,,,, you would meet him again but you brushed it off as not very likely

Surprise!!! He’s there again!!!!!

He raises his eyebrow at you with a playful smirk and watches you make your way to the line

You order 5 of the same cookies and he’s like oh jeez

“You ate 5 yesterday too,,,, are you okay?”

“loOK ITS FINALS AND I AM NOT GONNA GO DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT”

And he’s like dude slow your roll

You’re just hammering down those cookies the rest of the week and at this point cheols is Deeply Concerned

“Y/N, you’ve been here every single day for the entire week, not to mention you order 5 at the minimum….. You need a break”

It’s Sunday, which means your finals start tomorrow on Monday

And you’re just an entire wreck like plS I NEED. MY. COOKIES.

“You don’t understand man i need these as my f u e l”

While he’s giving you your change, he nonchalantly shrugs and says, “Well, these cookies here aren’t the best,,,, if you really want it to hit the spot, I know a bakery a few cities away. It would top this place anytime”

And you’re like ,,,,,,,,is this,,,,, a,,,,, date,,,,,,,,,,

“I’ll take you up on that,,,,”

And he’s like :))))) oh here’s my number and he scribbles it down on a napkin

You text him later that day and you’re like “u better not back out of that offer >:( i take my cookies seriously”

Him: “oh sweetie i won’t ;))) hahaha see what i did there”

You: “bye i’m not going anymore”

And then he panics but at least he wished you good luck on your finals lmao

Once you are DONE with hell week, you immediately jump on your plans

“Ok look i just finished finals 3 minutes ago and we are leaving”

“You’re lucky i didn’t have any plans today”

“It’s also bc u like me and u would show me anytime :))))”

You see the lil … pop up and stop a good 5 times and you start freaking out like oh no did that scare him????

But all he does after a solid 7 mins is just send “meet me at the bus stop in 10”

The adventure to the bakery starts and you honestly had a blast

Getting to know him on the way there and back was just so refreshing

You thought he was a playboy but the way he introduces you and the owner there tells you otherwise

You spend the rest of the day trying out 20 different cookies even though you still feel really bad bc they were all “on the house”

And the owner may or may not have told seungcheol “they’re a keeper ;)))))”

and he’s like bro stop

he can’t help but look at you fondly as you gush over the assorted cookies and his ears start turning red

By the time you’re on your way back home, it’s well into the night and you’re about to crash not just from the sugar but from the overwhelming stress of the week

you start to doze off aND HE!! PUTS YOUR HEAD ON HIS SHOULDER!!!!! SIISDJJSJSJHS

He’s fangirling the whole way back what a cutie :’((((

he gently wakes you up and he uses you looking sleepy and disoriented as an excuse to “guide you” and puts his arms around you

You’re way too exhausted to think anything about it so you just accept it and it’s also bc you would have probably fell flat on your face getting off the bus if it weren’t for him steadying you sooooo

He insists on walking you all the way to your dorm even though his is in the opposite direction and you’re like sigh fine but only bc it’s late

When y’all come to a stop in front of your building, he seems to be much more shy and reserved in contrast to the bold, flirty persona in the cafe

He stuffs his hands in his pockets and looks at you all shyly

“Well, I hope you enjoyed the bakery today,,, I did”

“it was amazing. But you were wrong about it being my favorite”

And he looks at you really quizzically bc it looked like you fell in love with the place so you continue

“You don’t work there and I won’t be able to see you” you kinda mutter and he looks stUNNED

Before the full regret hits you, you step in and give him a quick peck on the cheek and he’s literally frozen the whole time

“Merry Christmas, Seungcheol” you rush to say and then give him a quick wave before zoOMING OUTTA THERE

He watches you disappear in the building and it takes him a full minute to process everything

He can’t stop the gigantic grin from spreading on his face with a soft smile

“Merry Christmas, Y/N.”

[sadrien]

prince of cats

chapter two: this holy shrine

on ao3 || on ffnet  1

i was gonna say something but im in like a really really bad mood right now so i hope you enjoy the chapter

Marinette hesitates for longer than usual at her apartment door. There’s no way her neighbor will be out and about at this time today, she’s never run into him before yesterday. Maybe he just had an errand to run or something. She shouldn’t be nervous about the slim chance of seeing someone she’s exchanged not even half a conversation with.

At least, that’s what she keeps telling herself.

The reality of the situation is that she fell asleep on the couch in the middle of designing an evening dress and had dreamt about his eyes. His eyes! God it’s like she’s a teenager again.

Just as she’d predicted, she doesn’t run into her neighbor. She’s strangely disappointed. Not that she had been looking forward to see him, she just—

Okay. Yes, she’d been looking forward to at least catching another glimpse of him. She kind of wants to hear his voice again, maybe hear him laugh?

For some reason, she thinks it would sound like springtime—

Marinette shakes away those wistful thoughts as she exits the building and makes her way to work. She focuses on the evening gown she started designing the day before and makes a point not to use any green. But she can’t help but think that it would look really nice with green accessories.

Why is she like this?

If any of her coworkers notice that she’s a little off, no one says anything. They probably don’t, they’re all drowning in anxiety as they rush to finish this line, but Marinette can’t help but worry a little whenever she catches herself staring off into the distance thinking about his smile.

Eventually, she gives in and pulls out her phone, texting Alya quickly. She should’ve told Alya yesterday at lunch. It probably would’ve turned out better.

From: fashion goddess To: the Most Beautiful      Sos      I need help

From: the Most Beautiful To: fashion goddess      babe arent u in work???      but as always im here to help and fix everything

From: fashion goddess To: the Most Beautiful      Theres a guy and hes cute

From: the Most Beautiful To: fashion goddess      idk what i was expecting but it wasnt that

Marinette resists the urge to bang her head against her worktable. She just needs one rant to Alya and hopefully all this will be over. She’ll get over this tiny infatuation and move on with her life. And stop thinking about his gorgeous green eyes and how he’d stared at her when— 

Her phone vibrates with a new message and breaks her out of her daydream.

From: the Most Beautiful To: fashion goddess      k so theres a guy      how can i help

From: fashion goddess To: the Most Beautiful      Good question      I jsut?? Cant stop thinking about him????

From: the Most Beautiful To: fashion goddess      oh wow      how come ive never heard about this guy??

From: fashion goddess To: the Most Beautiful      Um…      I met him yesterday???

From: the Most Beautiful To: fashion goddess      girl

From: fashion goddess To: the Most Beautiful      I know I know!!!      We ran into each other      Literally      And he was tall and blond and pretty and was wearing this gorgeous black trenchcoat but thats off topic and he had this cat that for some reason was all sparkly??? And his eyes were nice and I dont even know his name and Im going to stop talking and just send this message so you can judge me

Marinette puts her phone down and focuses on her job for a few minutes. Alya will still be there when this hem is done. She’s surprised to find herself in the zone and is even to ignore a few vibrations from her phone as she stitches. But it’s not meant to last, because as soon as she finishes the hem, she’s reaching to reply.

From: the Most Beautiful To: fashion goddess      oh girl      uve got it bad      for a complete stranger!!!!!      im not gonna judge i find random people hot all the time but im not usually this…….fixated on them

From: fashion goddess To: the Most Beautiful      Just do it al      Call me creepy

From: the Most Beautiful To: fashion goddess      ur a beautiful tropical fish mari      u poetic and noble land mermaid      ur not creepy ur in love

From: fashion goddess To: the Most Beautiful      You cant be in love with someone you just met Alya!!!!!!!!

From: the Most Beautiful To: fashion goddess      tell that to cinderella!!!!!!!!!!!!

From: fashion goddess To: the Most Beautiful      Plot twist this is real life al not an animated disney movie      I cant fall in love with someone I met ONCE

From: the Most Beautiful To: fashion goddess      not with that attitude

From: fashion goddess To: the Most Beautiful      Oh my god      Look I dont even know his name

From: the Most Beautiful To: fashion goddess      so we make up a name!!      lets see………      ive got it      chat noir      ur prince is named chat noir

From: fashion goddess To: the Most Beautiful      Excuse me

From: the Most Beautiful To: fashion goddess      he has a cat      he wore black      chat noir

From: fashion goddess To: the Most Beautiful      Youre truly the voice of our generation

From: the Most Beautiful To: fashion goddess      ;*      k i have to get back to work and i kno u do too (smh using me to procrastinate how dare u (ilysm)) but ill call u later      u me and nino can freak out about cute boys      k??

From: fashion goddess To: the Most Beautiful      Sounds great      Thanks <3

From: the Most Beautiful To: fashion goddess      of course darling!!      have fun with ur fashion ill hear u yell later

Marinette puts her phone away. She can last until tonight. Right?

Thank god it’s Friday.

✦ ✦ ✦

By the time her lunch break comes around, Marinette has been productive enough that she could’ve stayed home and the results would’ve been the same. She shouldn’t be letting something so trivial get in the way of her actual paying job, but apparently she has no control over her own thoughts.  

Marinette seriously debates taking the rest of the day off (because that’s really what she’s come to) but acknowledges that, no, that’s a bad idea. She’s an adult with deadlines and will get over it and be productive for the rest of the day.

She does go home for lunch, though. She has leftover takeout in her fridge and an episode of a random TV show to finish. She had stopped paying attention at some point to focus on her designs, but she had been weirdly invested in the over dramatic characters and cliche plotline.

Marinette is digging through her bag looking for her keys when she hears the door next to her unlocking. She freezes, eyes wide, as the door swings open.

Her neighbor hums to himself as he closes and locks the door behind him. He doesn’t even notice she’s there until he turns around and they make eye contact and Marinette goes redder than last winter’s avant garde piece.

“H-hi,” she stutters, clutching her keys tightly in her hand. She can feel the ridges of the key biting into her palm.

He blinks a few times before turning pink. “Oh my god,” he whispers, “you’re the one I completely knocked over and then ran away from yesterday.”

Marinette laughs awkwardly. “Yeah, that was… That was me.”

He rubs the back of his neck. “I-I am so sorry. I really, I just— I had to go grab Plagg before he vanished on me and I wasn’t thinking and then when I got back you were gone and—”

“It’s fine!” Marinette interrupts. At least she’s not the only mess in this hallway. “Plagg?”

“My cat,” he answers.

She raises an eyebrow. “The…sparkly one?”  

“Um…” He sighs. “Okay, so I might’ve used a bath bomb and I might’ve forgotten to rinse out the bathtub and Plagg might have gotten into it and might’ve rolled around in the glitter.” He looks away. “So my black cat might’ve been gold.”

Marinette covers her mouth with her hand to stifle a laugh.

“He’s fine!” her neighbor insists. “He got a bath and is hopefully completely glitter free now and also that glitter is made of seaweed so… He’s fine. Sorry for knocking you over.”

“No harm done,” Marinette promises.

His eyes go wide. “I just realized, I’ve been rambling on about my cat and you don’t even know my name.” He holds his hand out to her. “I’m Adrien. I’ve lived in the building for a few months I just…never got around to introducing myself to anyone.”  

Marinette smiles and shakes his hand. At least she can tell Alya they don’t have to call him Chat Noir. “Marinette. It’s nice to meet you. And your cat.”

“Nice to meet you too.” Adrien lets go of her hand and she mourns the loss of contact. Pathetic. “I have to run to the store, but maybe I’ll see you around later?”

Marinette nods. “Y-yeah, definitely.”

He shoots her a dazzling smile that melts her heart. “See you then.”

She stares at him until he disappears into the stairwell and continues to stare until the echoes of his footsteps fade. The she opens her apartment door and nearly collapses inside.

She’s going to be lucky if she makes it back to work in time.

✦ ✦ ✦

“Alright,” Alya says, pouring herself a glass of wine. “I’ve filled Nino in on the little situation and we are ready to yell about our tall, blond, and handsome Chat Noir.”

“You better be pouring me some of that,” Nino says from offscreen.

Marinette resizes her Skype window as Alya scoots over so Nino can sit next to her. Alya hands Nino the wineglass. “Here you go, babe.”

Nino takes it. “Are you not going to need another glass?”

Alya picks up the bottle. “Nothing wrong with drinking straight from the bottle.”

Nino shakes his head. “Anyway, tell us everything, Mari. I want to know it all.”

Marinette pulls her legs up onto the couch and crosses them. “Well…there was actually a development.”

Alya and Nino exchange a look.

“Tell me everything,” Alya says.

“Right, so remember when my neighbor moved out a few months ago?” Marinette asks.

They both nod.

Nino shudders. “Thank god too, I hated that dude. He was a massive dick.”

“Okay, well, then that new neighbor moved in and I never had time to meet them?” They nod again. Marinette takes a deep breath. “I just met him.”

Nino groans and Alya buries her face in her hands.

“He’s your fucking neighbor?” Nino asks. “That’s just—”

“You could’ve been gawking him for months!” Alya interrupts throwing her arms out.

“I just—”

“Wait, how have you never run into him before?” Nino asks. “Does he never leave the house?”

Marinette shrugs. “We must have very different schedules.”

Alya sighs. “And this isn’t fanfiction. People don’t just knock on their neighbor’s door asking for a cup of sugar.”

“His name is Adrien and his smile is like the sun,” Marinette waxes, sinking back into the couch. “He likes bath bombs and has a black cat named Plagg and when he blushes he turns the most perfect shade of pink.” She tenses. “I mean—” She glances to her laptop to see Alya and Nino watching her with fond smiles and soft eyes. Marinette looks away, feeling her cheeks grow hot. “Shut up,” she mumbles.

“It’s cute,” Nino promises.

“It is,” Alya agrees. “We haven’t seen you like this in years, Mari. It’s adorable. You’re adorable.”

Nino hums in agreement. “Though it sucks that we can’t keep calling him Chat Noir. I like the nickname.”

Alya scoffs. “Who said I was going to stop calling him Chat Noir? But…” She pulls out her phone. “With a real name, I can stalk him on social media.”

“Please don’t,” Marinette begs.

“Please do,” Nino counters, leaning closer to Alya to see the screen of her phone.

“Nino!”

“Hey! I want to see if this dude is as hot as you say he is.”

Marinette raises an eyebrow. “I’m sorry, are you doubting my judgement?”

Nino shakes his head. “Never. But if he is that hot, I still want to see him.” “I know you have a girlfriend, but I’ve still got dibs.”

“I’d leave Alya if he were hot enough.”

Alya grabs a pillow and smacks Nino in the face with it without even looking away from her phone screen.

Nino laughs and shoves the pillow away. “I love you, Al, I swear.”

“Mhm.” Alya frowns at her phone. “Okay, Mari, just ‘Adrien’ isn’t enough for me to find him—”

“Shocking,” Marinette murmurs.

“Shush I’m doing you a favor. With any luck he’ll be tweeting about how drop dead gorgeous his neighbor is or something. But anyway, I need you to get me some details. A last name would be preferable. But even like a place of work or a school would work.”

“Creepy,” Nino says before taking a long drink of his wine.

“And yet you date me anyway,” Alya muses. She looks up and stares Marinette down. “Last name, Marinette. Got that?”

Marinette nods. She’s going to have to find some non creepy way to do this, isn’t she? “Got it.”

✦ ✦ ✦

Marinette doesn’t wake up until ten in the morning, but she still wakes up exhausted. She stayed up far too late talking to Nino and Alya, Alya still trying to find some trace of Adrien on the internet as Nino and Marinette talked about anything and nothing at all. It’s been a few weeks since the three of them just talked like that, their lives are a hectic disaster, and Marinette’s missed it. They’ve been best friends for years and she definitely misses seeing them every single day at school.

She sings softly to herself as she wanders around the apartment, opening windows to let air in. It’s a surprisingly warm day for late fall, and she’s embracing every minute of warmth that she can.

Today’s a lazy day. She’s decided.

She’s meeting up with Nino and Alya later tonight for dinner and a movie at their apartment, but until then she can just lounge around in her pajamas and watch bad reality TV. Honestly, she’ll probably show up to their place in pajamas too. Not that they can judge, Marinette knows for a fact that Nino doesn’t change out of his sweats if he has a day off.

Marinette stops in her tracks when she reenters her bedroom. She blinks a few times, just to make sure she’s seeing right.

On her window sill naps a black cat, glittering slightly golden in the morning sun.

[formfeeding-blog]

The Secret Agenda of my so-called Alien friends who want my body for Free

TWO FBI AGENTS INVESTIGATE CLAIMS OF A UFO. —————————- BELOW IS MY FILM COMMENTARY DON’T READ SPOILER ALERT.

I MADE THIS SHORT FILM IN FILM SCHOOL, SO ITS BASICALLY PRACTICING. ITS ACTUALLY A 5 MINUTE SCRIPT THAT ENDED 13 MINUTES. IT WAS ORIGINALLY 17 MINUTES BUT I CUT THE BEGINNING OUT.

I CUT OUT A 3- 5 MINUTE SCENIC INTRODUCTION. BASICALLY A DRIVING WITH LANDSCAPES SHOTS WITH MUSIC. (AS FILMMAKER, YOU WILL LEARN TO LOVE SHOTS, SCENES AND DON’T WANT TO CUT THEM, YOU BELIEVE THE AUDIENCE WILL LOVE WHAT YOU ARE SEEING AND WHAT YOU MADE. ITS HARD TO CUT THINGS YOU LIKE, BUT IT SEEMS TO TEST VIEWERS, THAT I TOOK TOO LONG GETTING TO THE STORY. )

SHOT I BELIEVE WITH 2 SONY 150’S. ME AN FRIEND STEVE, SAT BEHIND THE ACTORS AND SHOT IMPROV/HAND HELD STYLE.

THE CONVERSATION IN CAR WAS IMPROV. THEY CAME UP WITH THAT CONVERSATION AND IT CAME OUT DIFFERENT EACH TAKE. IN MY SCRIPT, ITS WRITTEN THAT THE ACTORS WOULD IMPROV THIS PART. ITS A RIP OFF SCENE OF PULP FICTION WHEN THE CHARACTERS ARE HAVING A CONVERSATION ABOUT FAST FOOD IN PARIS. TOO ME, IT WAS A WAY TO GET SOME INSIGHT TO THE CHARACTERS…AKA SOME CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. USUALLY SHORT FILMS IS GET TO THE PONT.

MY FILM SCHOOL TEACHES YOUR FIRST 10 FILMS SUCK SO GET IT OVER WITH. WELL THIS IS ONE OF THEM. WHAT THEY MEANT IS EACH FILM YOU LEARN SOMETHING NEW AND LEARN THINGS TO IMPROVE NEXT TIME. FILM SCHOOL IS DIFFICULT TOO BECAUSE OF DEADLINES, WHICH ARE GOOD, BUT IT MEANS YOU ARE SCRAMBLING COORDINATING EVERYTHING. SO INSTEADING OF FOCUSING ON STORY, ACTORS, SHOT LISTS, ETC… I AM DOING EVERYTHING ELSE, GETTING PROPS, GETTING FOOD, GETTING LOCATIONS, ETC…

FILMMAKING IS THE ART OF LOGISTICS. I HEARD THAT SOMEWHERE. WELL, THOUGH I WAS STUDYING TO BE A DIRECTOR, I HAD TO BE THE PRODUCER AS WELL. SO SHORT ON TIME, THERE WAS NO ACTOR REHEARSALS. NO BLOCKING, NO FINDING EMOTIONAL, ETC… MY FRIEND WHO DP, WE DIDN’T HAVE ANY PRODUCTION MEETINGS. SO THIS IS BASICALLY MAKING A MOVIE WITH A RUN AND GUN APPROACH. MEANING EACH SCENE/LOCATION WE MADE THE MOVIE ON THE FLY. CAMERA SHOTS, ACTORS BLOCKING, SETTING UP LIGHTS, AND ACTION, THEN MOVE ON TO NEXT CAMERA POSITION,,,, TIME IS TICKING AWAY CUZ YOU ONLY HAVE ACTORS AND CREW FOR A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF TIME.

THIS KIND OF APPROACH OF SPEED INCREASES THE CHANCES FOR MISTAKES AND ERRORS, WHICH HAPPENED. ALSO THERE IS NO A.D OR SCRIPT SUPERVISOR TO WATCH FOR CONTINUITY.

SO PART 1 OF FILM WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THIS LONG DRIVE THROUGH THE COUNTRY, WHICH I CUT MOST OF IT.

PART 2, IS THE IMPROV CONVERSATION BETWEEN FBI. WHAT I LIKED ABOUT THE CONVERSATION WAS THAT FORESHADOWS THE FEAR OF DOGS WITH THE FEAR OF SLEEPING AT NIGHT BECAUSE OF DEMONIC ATTACKS.

PART 3 THE CAR PULLS UP, AND FBI GO INSIDE. I SHOT THIS SCENE (OUTSIDE) FROM SO MANY ANGLES, SO LOTS OF TAKES AND WASTED SHOTS BECAUSE LACK OF PLANNING. ON THE OTHER HAND, LOTS OF COVERAGE GIVES OPTIONS FOR THE EDITOR, (WHICH HAPPENED TO BE ME)

THE SCIENTIST SCENE WAS AN IDEA TO REMIND PEOPLE ONE WORLDVIEW OF ALIENS THAT THEY DON’T EXIST. SECULARISM REFUSES TO BELIEVE IN THE SUPERNATURAL.

THERE ARE THREE WORLD VIEWS. ONE GROUPS SAYS ITS ALL PHONY. ANOTHER SAYS ALIENS ARE REAL, THE CHRISTIAN BELIEVE ITS THE FALLEN ANGELS/DEMONS DISGUISING THEMSELVES AS ALIENS.

PART 3: THE TITLES. I JUST FINISHED LEARNING AFTER EFFECTS CLASS. SO I TOOK PUBLIC DOMAIN FOOTAGE AND AS U CAN SEE, TWEEK THEM UP A BIT.

PART 4: IS APARTMENT CONVERSATION. IT FOLLOWS SCRIPT WITH SOME IMPROV ON HOW TO GET RID OF THE ALIENS/DEMONS. BUT AS I WAS STATING, WE WERE SHORT ON TIME, SO IT HAD TO BE SHOT QUICKLY. IF I COULD DO IT AGAIN, I WOULD DO REHEARSALS SO ITS NOT SO RUSHED AND HAVE EMOTIONAL BEATS.

PART 5: THE FLASHBACKS AND EXORCISM SCENES. I COULD NOT AFFORD TO MAKE AN ALIEN, SO I TRIED TO SHOOT IT MORE PSYCHOLOGICAL. MEANING CAPTURING THE MOOD, THE ENVIRONMENT, THE FEELING OF FEAR, BUT I USED AN OLD SCHOOL TRICK OF USING A CUT OUT CARDBOARD ALIEN/DEMON AND THE USE OF SHADOWS ON THE WALL. IT IS WHAT IT IS. NOW A DAYS A DEMON WOULD HAVE BEEN DIGITALLY INSERTED. WHICH I DON’T HAVE THAT SKILL LEVEL EITHER.

PART 6.: THEY SAY NEVER WORK WITH DOGS OR CHILDREN. AL, THE FBI AGENT NEIGHBORS DID HAVE 3 DOGS. IT WAS DIFFICULT TO SHOOT, ALL I COULD DO WAS B-ROLL. THE KIDS, WHERE FROM MY FRIENDS SEAN AND ANNIE. THE GIRL WAS FINE, BUT THE BOY QUICKLY GOT BORED AND DIDN’T WANT TO BE THERE. SO ANNIE, THE MOM, HELPED ME. SO WE DID THAT LITTLE SCENE HAD MANY TAKES.

POST WAS NIGHTMARE. SOUND WAS TERRIBLE, SHOTS HAD MISTAKES AND I REEDITED LIKE A MILLION TIMES (METAPHORICALLY) BUT THAT’S HOW YOUR LEARN. AGAIN PART OF BEING A DIRECTOR AND THEN EDITOR IS THAT YOU LIKE SHOTS AND SCENES THAT ARE TOO LONG. I CUT ALOT OF DIALOG OUT TO TIGHTEN IT UP, THOUGH I DIDN’T WANT TO DO IT.

I TALK ABOUT THE SUBJECT MATTER ANOTHER DAY. Likes: 3 Viewed:

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