#also ex seven not liking country is a plus

[giulzart]

the urge of making a new infamous MC with a country band cause i love the potential campy vibes and have them romance G cause yk 👀

[hlficlibrary]

✤ Exes Fics ✤

A series of posts with the top five fics of each category tag on ao3 by kudos plus five more hidden gems from that category! Remember to leave kudos and a comment on the fics you enjoyed to show your appreciation! You can find our other recs here.

- Top 5 H/L Fics -

1️⃣ got the sunshine on my shoulders by @hattalove [E, 124k]

five years ago, harry styles left his tiny home town to make it big as a recording artist. he didn't have much regard for what he left behind - a life, a family, and a husband, who woke up one morning to find him gone.

now, harry has everything he could possibly want: he's rich, famous, and adored by everyone he meets, including his boyfriend. but when said boyfriend proposes to him, he's forced to face the uncomfortable facts of his past - and louis, who's spent the last five years returning every set of divorce papers harry sent him.

(or, an au based on the movie sweet home alabama.)

2️⃣ Mine Would Be You by @crinkle-eyed-boo [E, 114k]

Louis blinks his eyes open, his eyelids fluttering as the room swims around him. He takes several gulps of beer once he confirms that he’s definitely not hallucinating, that the very first portrait Harry Styles ever painted of him is hanging on that wall.

Louis stares at the wall, his heart jackrabbiting in his chest as he realizes that there’s not just one painting of him, there’s five, the portraits lined up like they’re some sort of storyboard depicting the rise and fall of his deepest love. His greatest heartache. A pain that cut him so deep that he left the fucking country, severing all ties with his life in New York, now suddenly surrounding him as if he’d never left.

Fucking shit motherfucker fuck.

Louis returns to New York City five years after he left it – and the love of his life – behind. He didn't intend to see Harry again, but fate has a funny way of pulling them together, whether they like it or not. After making a begrudging truce, they both start to wonder: Would it be so bad if history repeated itself?

3️⃣ all the lights are full of colour by @infinitelymint [E, 26k]

So, fast-forwarding eight years from the day Harry met Louis, he is now a twenty-seven year old owner of one of the most up-and-coming eating establishments on the London restaurant scene, father of two wonderful boys and… separated from his husband. Now, that last part definitely was never a part of the original plan.

Or, Harry and Louis are separated, but for the sake of their two sons, they choose to spend Christmas together. It may just lead to a Christmas miracle.

4️⃣ The Shirt You Hate by @isthatyoularry [M, 15k]

“Soph,” Louis says to his female executive assistant. “I’m making more money than ever, and I have just realised that I have no one to spend it on.”

At thirty years old, Louis is past halfway to becoming a billionaire, and he needs to find the one. He literally stumbles upon his university sweetheart.

5️⃣ You’ve Got My Devotion (Hate You Sometimes) by lucythegoosey / @harryrainbows [E, 95k]

Harry was in the biggest boy band in the world. He was also one half of the best (or worst, depends on who you ask) kept secret relationship in the music industry.

Now, almost five years on, after One Direction has broken up, and Harry and Louis' relationship has as well, a video threatens to put everything at risk.

One determined Irishman, a massive publicity stunt and two begrudging exes are all it takes to bring One Direction back to life and maybe, just maybe, Harry and Louis' mangled love life too.

Or: Harry and Louis are forced to fake-date after an old video from when they were dating emerges.

HIDDEN GEMS:

💎 Wait For It by dimpled_halo / @comebackassholes [E, 119k]

“You’re doing it again.” Zayn’s voice breaks him away from his thoughts.

Louis furrows his brows. “What?”

Zayn waves his hand around. “You’ve got that dreamy look on your face. You’re thinking about the future love of your life, again aren’t you?”

Zayn is staring at him in a way like he’s daring Louis to lie so he could call him out on it. Liam and Zayn can read him like a book, making it hard for Louis to keep anything from them. Instead of trying to lie, he resigns himself and lets out a breath.

“I am.”

A How I Met Your Mother au with a better ending. Louis is ready to find the love of his life and when he meets Harry he thinks he's finally found them. Liam and Zayn have been together since college and are ready to take the next step in their relationship, except Zayn might be having doubts. And Niall is happy with no strings attached dating until a new employee at the bar they frequent walks into his life and makes him question his entire existence.

💎 pull me back together again (the way you cut me in half) by 28sunflowers / @vintageumbroshirt [E, 26k]

When trying to figure out who the love of his life is, Harry’s brain brings back a specific name from his past.

That’s why, a decade after a messy divorce, Louis opens his door to find his ex-husband standing on the other side, asking for a second chance.

Or a This Is Us AU starring Harry as Kevin and Louis as Sophie, but I selectively choose to use only some parts of what's cannon on the show.

💎 Love Gone Wrong by wordsnnotes / @quelsentiment [T, 18k]

Years ago, Harry and Niall left their rural town for the big city, while their respective boyfriends Louis and Zayn stayed behind at the ranch. Louis and Harry start an on-and-off relationship, but Zayn and Niall break off all ties. When Louis gets into a fight with Harry, he enlists Zayn's help to make things right with him, thereby putting Zayn in Niall's path again, and giving all of them a chance to work things out and start anew.

💎 don't you call him baby by @femstyles [T, 8k]

But now, eleven months later, as his Uber pulls up outside the bar, Harry thinks he can absolutely handle this. He's going to walk into Liam's birthday party where the ex-love of his life is also going to be and he's going to show Louis that he can be a mature adult about everything that’s happened in the last year.

Or the one where Harry is absolutely doing fine and is definitely not still hung up on Louis. Except he is.

💎 'Tis the Damn Season by zanni_scaramouche / @zanniscaramouche [M, 2k]

The door will open and he’ll smile wide and genuine at the people who raised him, his teary-eyed mother and rosey-face step-father. He won’t think about the cabin in the woods again until next December.

[pigeontheoneandonly]

What has been your experience with having cats as pets? I would also like to know about the costs if you're okay detailing that.

I'm happy to answer. :) Going to put this under a cut because it got long.

First, I'm not any kind of expert, just an experienced/enthusiastic pet owner. Also, I'm assuming you live in the US because I don't have any advice for people living in other countries, as I've only lived in the US myself.

I have five cats. In my adult life, I have owned seven (not simultaneously) and began caring for foster kittens this year. They are family to me. They have richly varied personalities, and they are emotionally sensitive and affectionate creatures. I find their company hugely rewarding. They are there for me on bad days and good; they make me laugh and melt. Two of them are sitting with me as a I type this.

What they are not is human. So you have to meet them on their level--understand their body language and the ways they show affection. Some we recognize easily, like cuddling and purring. Others, like co-existing in your space or sleeping with their back to you, seem more neutral to us though they aren't to cats. And then some behaviors, like walking across our keyboards, are also signs of affection--they want to be involved with what we're doing or want out attention--but we perceive as annoying on first blush. Sometimes they nip out of affection or to groom you, and sometimes they get startled and dig in all of those claws.

So, there's that.

They are famously independent creatures but the reality is they need and want daily care and attention. This includes engaging with them (playing, petting, etc.), feeding, litterbox cleanup. If you go away for longer than a day, you will ideally get a pet sitter. Your house may need some cat proofing--some common houseplants are very toxic to cats, for example, and cats love to wedge into small spaces even when they're dangerous.

Some cats love having a buddy, especially if you get the cat(s) as a kitten. Older cats can be more set in their ways and prefer to live alone. The shelter should be able to advise you on their personalities.

Get your cat microchipped and consider a collar with a tag that has their name and your phone number, especially if your cat is prone to trying to get out. My two escape artists have tags that additionally read "Indoor only cat" and "If you see me I am lost".

Alright, so, costs. I may not be a great example because my cats get luxury care lol. You can buy cheaper food than I do, and you can find cheaper vet care (with the exception of emergency care). My husband and I are lucky to have well-paying jobs in a low cost of living area and so we can and do spoil them.

Initial setup for a cat (toys, carrier, scratch pads, scratch posts, litter box) will be ~$150 typically. You will want several scratch pads throughout your living space and may need several scratch posts depending on your cat's habits. This is what's going to save your furniture. Cats need to scratch; you can't train it out, it is a deeply ingrained, essential behavior. Cat trees are great and are another $50-$100ish.

Adoption fees range a lot, depending on your area and where you adopt and the age and condition of the cat. If you're deadset on a particular personality (ex. you want a cuddler, or a playful cat, or whatever), you're better off with an adult. Kittens have pretty similar personalities that diversify and solidify with age. Also, don't let time in the shelter deter you; plenty of sweet cats get stuck in shelters for a long time for reasons that are just plain bad luck.

Beyond that, how much they cost depends on the cat's age and medical situation. Generally speaking, cats will get more expensive as they get older. I had a vet appointment this morning; the basic check-up plus three vaccines was about $250 per cat. Adult cats need checkups once a year. Senior cats (10+ years old) go twice a year and also often need blood and urine workups, which cost more. This is how we had four more years with our cat who had chronic kidney disease; because she got her routine bloodwork and we were able to catch and treat it early. Cats are brilliant at hiding when they're sick, so vet appointments are a huge part of keeping them healthy. Your cat will lie but their blood, urine, feces, and/or scans won't.

If all else fails, DO NOT EVER fall behind on the rabies vaccine. If your cat bites someone, and they do not have current vaccination or you can't prove they are vaccinated, the person they bit can demand a rabies test and this test requires your cat to be euthanized. The clinic will provide a rabies tag and paperwork for you to hang onto. Cats get this vaccine once a year and shelters often run cheap vaccine clinics.

Without getting into specifics, I spend almost $400 per month on cat food alone for five cats. BUT, this is mostly because I have chosen to feed mine wet and dry food. Dry food is cheaper and just fine diet-wise. I chose to feed wet in addition because it helps my mainly male cats with hydration. We feed wet twice a day and they always have access to dry. Some cats can't free feed or they will get overweight.

However, a lot of cat illnesses are treated with special diets. Wet food for my urinary care cat (more on him later) runs $70 a month, which was about the cost of the wet kidney diet food as well. Prescription dry food is more upfront but a big bag lasts a lot longer. If your cat lives long enough, they will almost certainly be prescribed a vet diet at some point, for some period of time. In the case of my boy Rigel, this time will be the rest of his life. (Sidenote: Not a scam or "fake medicine". A lot of people seem to believe this for some reason.)

One of my cats is on medication. That's another $60. My husband buys the litter, but we run through about 4 forty pound boxes a month for five cats. There are tons of litter options at all price points on the market, and you'll want two boxes for one cat. (Formula is always number of cats + 1.)

You may wonder why I'm talking about my five cats when you're probably thinking about getting just one. It's because it is very, very easy to think "oh, just one more". Five cats is a lifestyle. IMO anything above two is a lifestyle. It's hugely expensive and requires a lot of time, effort, and forward planning. I'm happy with my choices but many, many people would have serious regrets. Doing the math, and amortizing the vet appointments, it's a little over $100/month per cat.

I really recommend getting a GOOD pet insurance policy. Because cat emergencies are expensive. Our guy on urinary food? He got on that after having a life-threatening urinary blockage and we spent almost $3k between his initial vet appointment and eventual ER visit and hospitalization. Vet ERs are cash upfront; they will not treat without a method of payment and most will not accept payment plans (though some will tell you about third-party programs for loans etc.) I spent $5k in one month trying to save one of my cats who didn't end up surviving. Another cat had a $2k thyroid surgery. Dentals are $1200--you may be able to find cheaper. Need scans? $200-$400 even if they end up being clear. Even euthanizing your cat will cost hundreds and that's obviously the option of last resort. So take a look at your finances and figure out what are the best options for your life, but you need to have either savings or insurance. Pet insurance will NOT cover pre-existing conditions; you must have it in place before an emergency or a diagnosis. And in the life of your cat, odds are good they will need at least one surgery or emergency treatment and it never happens at a good time. Some pet policies will also reimburse medications and annual checkups.

On a final note, if you've read this far lol, fostering can be a great way to experience having a cat without any obligation. Shelters often have foster programs for adult cats as well as kittens, to give them time out of the shelter, and if you happen to fall in love, you can usually adopt the cat you're fostering. Shelters will provide food and medical care while you are fostering at no cost to you.

I realize this is a lot. I'm happy to answer any specific questions you might have.

[mitchbeck]

PREVIEW: HARTFORD WOLF PACK GO HUNTING FOR HERSHEY BEARS

By Gerry  Cantlon, Howlings HARTFORD, CT - The Hartford Wolf Pack are among the final eight AHL teams still playing in May. What seemed improbable seven weeks ago has become reality. Trade deadline moves and an incredible streak of winning 15 of their last 18 games have brought them to this place in the season. They knocked off the Springfield Thunderbirds in the first round. They followed that up by eliminating the Providence Bruins in four games in the second round, despite finishing 17 points behind them in the regular season. That puts the Pack on a collision course in the Division Finals with the Hershey Bears, who finished the regular season 16 points ahead of them. Pack Head Coach Kris Knoblauch knows the tall order that lies in front of them. “(They’re) a big strong team. Outstanding defensively; don’t give you much room,. That’s in part because of their defense. They have some players who can score goals. Their team specialties (powerplay and penalty kill) are very good. We're just gonna have to find a way to the net,“ He said. Hershey's physical height is plentiful. The Bears are led by their captain, the 6'5 defenseman and ex-Pack, Dylan McIlrath. McIlrath was much maligned when he was a member of the Wolf Pack. He played on the last Pack playoff team eight years ago. Ironically, that year, they eliminated Hershey. Joining McIlrath is Aliaksei Protas at 6’6, Gabriel Carlsson at 6’5, Vincent Iorio at 6’3, and Benton Maass, who's 6’2. Their two in-house goalies include the 6’4 Clay Stevenson and the 6'3 Garin Bjorklund. Bjorklund was recalled when the South Carolina Stingrays (ECHL) were eliminated from the Kelly Cup playoffs. It's possible that the 6’2 Zach Furcale will need to be dealt with all over the ice as well. The Bears have eight players who are 6’2 and taller. Casey Shepard will likely start in the net for the Bears. In terms of height, the Pack can counter with the 6’8 Matt Rempe and the 6’6 Adam Edström. PRODUCTION While during the regular season, no Wolf Pack player was anywhere near the top in player production categories. Now, in the postseason, the Pack finds themselves all over the stat sheet as the Atlantic Division final begins. Leading the way for the New York Rangers AHL affiliates is goaltender Dylan Garand who has a 5-1 with a 1.17 GAA, tops in the AHL. He also is at the top of the production sheet for netminders with two shutouts. He will likely start. In the plus/minus department, Ty Emberson is atop the AHL charts at plus-13. In second place in that category is Anton Blidh at plus-11. In assists, Lauri Pajuniemi is fifth-best in the league with eight. Tim Gettinger and Tanner Fritz find themselves in the Top Ten in scoring with seven points each. The Pack also has two of the top three leaders in PIMs. Adam Clendening and Will Lockwood. The top shot producer is Zac Jones. He's tied at 21. A team with a championship mindset expects to be playing its best and most productive hockey in the playoffs. The Wolf Pack are undoubtedly not only the best they've been all season, but you could also argue they're the best they've been in eight years. NOTES: The Rangers did some organizational housekeeping before leaving Tuesday to head to Hershey for Thursday’s series opener. They released from ATO and PTO deals 18-year-olds Bryce McConnell-Barker, who didn’t play, and Adam Sýkora, who played two regular season games and two playoff games. Sýkora might be added to the Slovakia World Championship team when the IIHF tourney starts May 12th running through May 29th. It's a 16-country tournament and will be played this year in Tampere, Finland, Pajuniemi's hometown. They will also play in Riga, Latvia. The team also sent home Maxim Barbashev and Ryder Korczak. When the Peterborough Petes earned a 3-2 victory in Game 7 on Monday night over the North Bay Battalion, it guaranteed that Brennan Othmann will not be coming to Hart City this spring. Othmann had the game-tying goal in the game, and in Game 6 had the tying goal and an assist on the game-winner. The Petes will also play for the John Ross Robertson OHL championship against the London Knights, coached by Dale Hunter, starting on Thursday. The Petes also feature Chase Stillman, grandson of former New Haven Knights and Springfield Indians' alum Bud Stefanski. A Memorial Cup berth for the tournament will be played in Kamloops, BC, at the Sandman Centre from Friday, May 26th, until Sunday, June 4th. That's where Garand spent his junior career. The Cup will be awarded to the winner. The Winnipeg Ice (WHL), coached by former Ranger/Whaler James Patrick, along with Easton Armstrong, the son of former Wolf Pack, Derek Armstrong, will be playing for the WHL Championship. They will have their home games (the first two) starting Friday at the Life Canada Centre, home of the NHL Winnipeg Jets against the Seattle Thunderbirds, Rempe's former junior team, that won 4-2 on Monday over the Kamloops Blazers, who still make the tournament as the host team. Lane Sim, the son of ex-Sound Tiger Jon Sim, was drafted by the OHL Sarnia Sting in the OHL Priority Draft a few weeks ago. He played for Weeks U-18 (NSMHL) in Nova Scotia. The WHL Bantam Draft is on Thursday. May 11th. Players from the two Western Provinces of British Columbia and Alberta and the three Western territories - the Northwest Territories, Nunavut, and the Yukon - are eligible. The US states of Alaska, Arizona, California, Colorado, Hawaii, Idaho, Kansas, Minnesota, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Mexico, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Oregon, South Dakota, Texas, Utah, Washington, and Wyoming are eligible to be selected. The QMJHL Draft is on June 10th at the Palais des Sports in Sherbrooke, Quebec. The draft is divided into two separate drafts. In the first portion, the selections are primarily for kids from the Province of Quebec, the Canadian Maritimes, Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, Prince Edward Island-PEI, and Newfoundland. Occasionally, a small number of New England players get taken. A separate US Draft will be held afterward, comprising Northeastern US states Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Rhode Island, and Vermont are taken. Any US-born player who plays a second of major junior hockey is NCAA ineligible. Players from European countries, excluding Russia and Belarus, are taken in the CHL Import Draft in which all Canadian major junior teams participate. It will be held a week after the NHL Draft on July 5th. Usually, the top slots are taken by NHL draftees. Now former Wolf Pack’s Adam Sýkora was taken first overall by Medicine Hat (WHL) last year but elected to stay in Slovakia instead. The USHL Phase I Futures Draft and Phase II General Draft were completed a week ago. In Phase I, Mason Kraft, the son of ex-Sound Tiger Ryan Kraft, was selected in the fourth round (48th overall) by the Sioux Falls (SD) Stampede out of Moorhead HS (MN). In Phase II, Sioux Falls also chose Anthony Bongo (Ridgefield) from the Mid-Fairfield U-15 squad in the second round (18th overall). In the third round (33rd overall), Matej Teply (Stamford) was chosen. He played for the Selects Academy program at South Kent Prep. He was selected by the Chicago (Ill.) Steel. In the fifth round (63rd overall), Ronan Buckberger, the youngest son of former Beast of New Haven Ashley Buckberger, was selected by the Madison (WI) Capitols out of the Saskatoon U-18 (SMHL) program. Two years ago, he was selected by Swift Current (WHL). Taft’s (Watertown) top-flight goalie Rudy Guimond (Yale -ECACHL commit), from Pointe-Claire, Quebec, was selected by the Cedar Rapids (IA) Roughriders. He was taken in the fifth round (69th overall). Tate Pecknold (Southport), the son of Quinnipiac University (ECACHL) head coach of the defending national champion Bobcats, Rand Pecknold, was taken in the 13th round (185th overall) by the Omaha (NE) Lancers. This season, he transferred from Avon Old Farms (CT) to St. George’s (RI). Lastly, Jackson Potulny, the nephew of ex-Pack Ryan Potulny, was taken in the 13th round (197th overall) by the Chicago Steel. He was selected from the U-18 team from the successful Minnesota program at Shattuck’s St. Mary’s (NAPHL). Back in the AHL, the North Division final pits the Toronto Marlies against the Rochester Americans. The Marlies feature Quinnipiac University (ECACHL) goalie Keith Petruzzelli, who won against the Wolf Pack in April. They may get some players from around the corner if Florida eliminates the parent Toronto Maple Leafs. Rochester features Michael Mersch, the son of late New Haven Nighthawk Mike Mersch and ex-Bridgeport Sound Tiger Mason Jobst. The Hartford-Hershey tilt winner will play the North Division series winner for the Eastern Conference crown. Out west, two of the newest AHL teams, the Calgary Wranglers and Coachella Valley Firebirds, will square off. Player-wise, Calgary has former Rangers Kevin Rooney and Dryden Hunt. They also have Nick DeSimone (CT Oilers-EHL) and ex-UCONN (HE) defenseman Yan Kuznetsov. Behind the bench as one of the assistant coaches is former Whaler, New Haven Nighthawk, and Springfield Indian Don Nachbaur. The goalie coach is ex-Pack Mackenzie Skapski and AHL coach of the Year for two years in a row, Mitch Love. The Firebirds have former Quinnipiac University defenseman Brogan Rafferty. The Texas (Austin) Stars in the Central Division have just one Connecticut connection in GM Scott White, a one-time New Haven Senator. The Stars will tangle with the Milwaukee Admirals, who received nine players from the parent Nashville Predators. They feature recently acquired at the trade deadline from Hartford, Austin Rueschhoff, and ex-Pack captain and former UCONN (AHA years) player Cole Schneider. Also on the roster is Luke Evangelista, a second cousin to former Whaler Brendan Shanahan. The winners of those two series will battle for the Western Conference championship. The Charlotte Checkers released Mackie Samoskevitch (Sandy Hook) and Skylar Brind’Amour (Quinnipiac University) from their PTO and ATO deals. Charlie Risk of the NCAA Division III Independent, Albertus Magnus College (New Haven), signs with Mont Blanc (France-FFHG Division-2). HARTFORD WOLF PACK HOME Read the full article

[zumpietoo]

Okay....Just Gonna Say It

Full disclosure, I largely dislike Justine Bieber, I don’t have an especially high opinion of his missus, I actually used to like Selena Gomez fairly well, buuuut....even still, naturally, Silly FuckLili gets it wrong...

Not sure what was “liked”, but I’m also sure it’s fairly innocuous.....plus.....ummm....Hailey’s Kim Basinger’s/Alec Baldwin’s kid.....say whatever you will, but that does make her Hollywood royalty....

Ummm.....noooo.....and, again, I don’t think Justin’s any prize, but they were much moar off than on for seven years (during which he dated ninety billion other wimmin.....and it’s been almost five years since he and Hailey got married. Pretty sure it’s moar of a case of Selena still pining.

Again, I like Selena, but she IS somebody with MH issues and, again, I don’t care especially for either Justin or Hailey....but they ARE married, she IS his wife, they’ve been together for a bit....so not sure why you think Selena, his ex, home wrecking would be so amazingly awesome.....especially when you also think he’s a complete dick.

https://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/pictures/justin-biebers-complete-dating-history-w442728/

BTW, even tho Ari’s evvolll, today it’s a case of her being an abused spouse, you know, versus when she’s the country bumpkin who trapped Cole.....

Be sure and update your scorecard!

[capitanmorgancyberzine]

MEN di Alex Garland

Alex Garland's (Ex-Machina, Annihilation) the latest horror creation with a small Cast, comprises only seven performers, two principals plus five supporting roles, and has its world premiere at the Cannes Film Festival 2022.

There is no doubt about the choice of principal actors Jessie Buckley, an exceptional Irish performer whom we know from Fargo and The Lost Daughter. Together with Rory Kinnear, seen in Penny Dreadful and The Imitation Game, here playing Jeoffrey, he knows how to reconfirm his excellent acting ability, in this case with multiple interpretations, concerning the various characters that haunt the young protagonist.

The story sets in an English country cottage, where Harper (the young protagonist) goes to spend some peaceful time after the suicidal death of her possessive and despotic ex, who demanded her love and threatened to take her life if she did not.

The young woman's guilt, however, apparently won't leave her alone, even though she had nothing to do with his suicide.

A psychological horror film is also philosophical if you like, but still disturbing rather than splattering, although some scenes are intense.

The hypocritical and misogynistic thinking of the male human being goes emphasized and reiterated concretely. Rory Kinnear's outstanding acting performance, supported by visual effects, makes this world and way of thinking uncaring and alien to the female world.

It is a reality revealed here and makes one reflect in no small measure.

The film is of impact, with great attention to detail, reminiscent of the cinematic works of Ken Russell or David Cronenberg. The crucial difference between the works is that Garland's film is soberer and calibrated both in intent and visual effects.

A remarkable soundtrack maintains excellent suspense throughout the film.

Director: Alex Garland

Screenplay: Alex Garland

Actors: Jessie Buckley, Rory Kinear, Paapa Essiedu, Gayle Rankin, Sarah Twomey, Zak Rothera-Oxley, Sonoya Mizuno

Country: Great Britain

Language: English

Year: 2022

Duration: 100 min

--- > Ita

MEN

L'ultima creazione horror di Alex Garland (Ex-Machina, Annihilation), con un cast ristretto composto da soli sette interpreti: due protagonisti più cinque coprotagonisti, è stata presentata in anteprima mondiale al Festival di Cannes 2022.

Non ci sono dubbi sulla scelta degli attori principali, Jessie Buckley, un'eccezionale interprete Irlandese che conosciamo per la piu recente serie di Fargo e il film The Lost Daughter. Insieme a Rory Kinnear, visto nella serie Penny Dreadful e il The Imitation Game, qui nei panni di Jeoffrey, sa riconfermare le sue eccellenti capacità recitative, in questo caso con interpretazioni multiple, riguardanti i vari personaggi che perseguitano il giovane protagonista.

La storia è ambientata in un cottage di campagna inglese, dove Harper (la giovane protagonista) si reca per trascorrere un po' di tempo sereno dopo la morte suicida del suo possessivo e dispotico ex, che pretendeva il suo amore e minacciava di toglierle la vita in caso contrario.

Il senso di colpa della giovane donna, tuttavia, sembra non lasciarla in pace, nonostante non abbia nulla a che fare con il suicidio di lui.

Un horror psicologico anche filosofico, se vogliamo, m sempre inquietante più che splatter, anche se alcune scene sono particolarmente intense.

Il pensiero ipocrita e misogino dell'essere umano maschile è qui sottolineato e ribadito concretamente. L'eccezionale interpretazione di Rory Kinnear, supportata dagli effetti visivi, rende questo mondo e questo modo di pensare incurante ed estraneo al mondo femminile.

È una realtà che si rivela qui e che fa riflettere non-poco.

Il film è d'impatto, con una grande attenzione ai dettagli, che ricorda le opere cinematografiche di Ken Russell o David Cronenberg. La differenza principale tra questi è che il film di Garland risulta essere più sobrio e calibrato sia negli intenti che negli effetti visivi.

Una notevole colonna sonora mantiene un'eccellente suspense per tutto il film.

Regia: Alex Garland

Sceneggiatura: Alex Garland

Attori: Jessie Buckley, Rory Kinear, Paapa Essiedu, Gayle Rankin, Sarah Twomey, Zak Rothera-Oxley, Sonoya Mizuno

Pease: Gran Bretagna

Lingua: Inglese

Anno: 2022

Durata: 100 min

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

TUA ENTERTAINER AU

(friendly reminder to remember that celebrities are people too! be respectful of and kind to them, both online and in person! ^-^)

(Talk Show Host) Vanya Blues is the host of a late night talk show called The Sleepy Show with Vanya Blues. She does what typical talk show hosts do - talks to her guests, makes up fun games, and brings attention to social issues. The staple of her show is that she plays violin for the last seven minutes, lulling her audience to sleep. Beyond her own show, she’s hosted events like the Emmys and the Oscars throughout the years, and often works with mental health support services, as her traumatic past of childhood isolation and abuse is well-known. She’s had a couple bouts of scandals, as her anger getting the best of her often leads to violence, but while these scandals tend to put her on hiatus for awhile, she always comes back stronger than ever. Though she’s not known to have many friends in the celebrity world, her favorite guests have her personal number: Luther, Diego, Allison, Klaus, Five, and Ben. As for her personal life, she keeps it intensely private - it’s known that she has a wife and a son, but nothing else. At least, not until Leonard, one of Vanya’s abusive ex-boyfriends and a paparazzi nut, manages to get some photos of Vanya with her kindergarten teacher wife Sissy and their son Harlan, whom they won in a court case against Sissy’s abusive ex-husband Carl. It would’ve been fine, if he hadn’t released them to the entire world - but he did, and now no one in Vanya’s family is safe.

(Rockstar) Diego Towblaerman is professionally known as “Batman”, a rockstar and teenage heartthrob beloved by the media. (He’s not a teenager, but all the people who wanna sleep with him are.) He always wears leather and black, except around pride month, when he can commonly be seen wearing shirts, jackets, pins, and other materials sporting his bisexual pride, as he’s been out since the beginning of his career. He’s rebellious and intense, but also pretty laid back and incredibly kind, known for conversing easily with any fans he comes across and helping out in the small places where he can. He plays guitar, plenty of different types and models, and also the drums and piano, though those spots in his band are filled by other people. Eudora is his pianist and second guitarist, and his adopted sister. She helps produce his music and manage his behavior, and their relationship and dynamic is well-loved by the public, especially as Diego often brings Eudora as his plus-one to award shows. Also in his family is his mother, Grace, who he often has lunch with and shouts out on social media, mostly about the orphanage she runs that he grew up in. (Unbeknownst to him or most of the others, all of the other six passed through that orphanage at some point in their tumultuous childhoods.) There’s also Lila, his girlfriend of a few years and his band’s awesome drummer. She’s as badass as Diego - she rides a motorcycle, can pack a punch, and heads a lot of organizations against sexual assault, since she grew up in a bad home in a bad neighborhood. (What people don’t know is that their relationship is a PR thing for both their benefits, and that Lila and Eudora have been together for nine years and Diego is married with two children. Best be keeping that out of the media, me thinks.) Lastly, though, is the mystery member of Diego’s posse - someone they only know as “Séance”, from the countless number of songs Diego has written about him. Love songs. All happy ones, too, and listed as tracks two and four on his albums. Now, there are only two clues as to who this person might be. One: Diego is rather impatient when it comes to assholes, and there are plenty of videos out there of him punching and cussing out people who harass him or his friends - but most notably is the viral, dark and blurry video of him having to be pulled off a guy by a bunch of shouting people, only one of whom’s voice is clear: a soft, sweet, scared, Gogo. No one saw who it was he was defending - Diego made sure to drape them in his own scarves and jackets and go out the back way, but there’s a soundbite from the same night of what sounds like two people sharing a kiss, Diego’s voice smiling around the words I’ll see you at home, baby, and the sound of a car door slamming. Lila, when asked, only smirked and answered that she was probably too wasted to remember this. The second clue, and perhaps the most interesting, is the sheer number of quote tattoos Diego has, none of which he will explain. Only a few people in the entire world know what the quotes are from - a shipping cult of fans on tumblr, only about a hundred of them, who all found and liked a post that pointed out that all of the quotes only have one thing in common, besides being forever embedded in Diego’s skin: they’re all the words of beloved comedian Klaus Hellbyes.

(Actress) Allison Charmors is known for being so kind and charming that no one has ever said no to her. She’s also a bit of media darling and nightmare simultaneously: they adore her, and all of her work with human rights organizations, but they’ve also had to deal with more of her troubles than anyone else they document. She’s often labelled a “maneater”, as her on-and-off relationship with Luther Monkman still follows her around, she and her first husband Patrick divorced and he got full custody of their daughter, and then she bounced around with a couple of other men. (And women too, but nobody else knows that. She wears pan pride colors sometimes, but has never outright stated or implied it beyond a couple of unfiltered jokes in interviews. She dated Natalie Portman once, if anyone cares.) Allison never settled down with anyone until Ray Chestnut came along - a BLM leader and proud LGBTQIA+ and Me Too ally. They met when Allison helped out at one of his demonstrations, and they’ve been inseparable ever since. The media is fascinated with their easy-going relationship and relentless work and support for and of minority groups, their most recent project being a protest against Islamaphobia. Everyone keeps waiting for them to fall apart, but it’s been five years and they haven’t yet. Also in Allison’s lane are Klaus and Vanya, the latter of whom she had a huge falling out with a couple years ago, though nobody knows what about. The two of them often cameo in the films she helps direct, most of them winning a multitude of awards. They’ve also been caught on video with her a couple hundred times, especially in all the scandals she’s been involved with where she’s assaulted someone for their racist and sexist behavior. But even with her history of assault, serial dating, and bribery, the public still adores Allison beyond belief - and so does her family, even if nobody really knows who that is. Most curious, though, is her history of film - she’ll only ever participate in trilogies.

(Comedian) Klaus Hellbyes is the comedian of his generation, and probably of the generation below his too. He’s famous for his dark morbid humor and NSFW improv jokes, and also for swearing consistently in live interviews on shows where you’re not allowed to swear. He has an odd fashion sense and rejects any and all gender roles, mouthing off at anyone who dares to comment on it. (He only ever paints four out of his ten nails, for some reason?) He’s known for his witty comebacks and scathing sarcasm on social media, and for being incredibly protective of others, especially teenagers who are targeted by trolls on online platforms. He runs a staggering number of pride organizations and does anti-racist work, often organizing pride events across the country for people who can’t be out to their families or communities. Beyond his social justice work, Klaus works to bring attention to mental disorders and trauma, especially in youth. He’s open about his own childhood, running from foster home to foster home and never being adopted, though he makes it clear that he made himself a family with a few very special kids along the way. He speaks publicly and often about his own struggles with anxiety, depression, anorexia, self-harm, PTSD, and suicidal ideation, always addressing any videos or accounts of him having panic attacks onstage, going out in short sleeves with fresh bandages on his wrists, and his ribs showing through his skin when he goes swimming. He’s taken hiatuses and spoken out in support and defense of other celebrities and people going through the same sorts of things, and makes it clear that his self-healing comedy has never been about the fame for him. He’s a good friend of Taylor Swift’s and once got drunk with Ed Sheeran, and he often goes on Vanya’s show to discuss mental health with her. While he often makes fun of the other six, he’s incredibly respectful in his comedy, as it’s never about his hatred of a person but rather his love for them. Whenever he speaks about social justice issues, he makes it clear that he speaks for his love of humanity as a whole rather than his hatred of any one individual. He’s admitted to being a huge fan of Diego, and has disclosed that they’ve met a few times, but is frustratingly vague about the circumstances of their friendship. Most people suspect they became friends at one of the many foster homes each is known to have been in. As well as his well-known friendships with Allison and Vanya, Klaus is known to hang around with Luther and Five, usually by getting ice cream and riding trains. Klaus’ two most famous relationships are complicated - there’s Ben, and there’s Dave. Ben is who Klaus has mostly lived with for the past eight or something years, the two of them open about being queerplatonic partners, though Klaus keeps having to explain what exactly that means to them and to the community as a whole, knowing that it differs for everybody. Dave, however, is who brought him into the public eye - Klaus met him in the army, and they were married in between tours. On one of those tours Dave was shot and killed, and Klaus has been open about his struggle with grief ever since, using Youtube as a platform for coping with his pain. He wrote a book about two characters based on them falling in love during the Vietnam War, which became a bestseller, and, on the third anniversary of Dave’s death, released the special that launched him to fame, an in-depth look at grief through a lens of comedy and appreciation for all the good moments shared between them. It’s become a staple of pop culture, and is still often quoted and referenced today, making Klaus one of the media’s most frequent topics of conversation.

(Author / Artist) Five di Sappears is known for his work across multiple genres, and the mystery that is everything about him as a person. His family, including his parents, is an incredibly well-kept secret, the only person known to be related to him being his sister Aidy, who Five has proven he will protect with violence if necessary. As a thirteen-year-old genius psychopath (not ACTUALLY), he’s a controversial figure, though his talent will never be denied. While he’s violent and aggressive, his horror and thriller novels have never failed to top the charts. While his sanity is questionable, his art is beautifully crazy and nonsensical without a single metaphor within it. While he’s proudly asexual aromantic and has gotten into physical and verbal altercations defending that, his romance novels published under the pseudonym Evipha Murdress are hailed as some of the most honest portrayals of love that literature has to offer. He can sing like fucking hell too, and is considered a trans icon, though he keeps his chosen name as much of a secret as his dead one, offering only the explanation that he fears for the safety and privacy of his family should it be released to the public. (His name is Aidan Alone, off the record.) Agnes is his kind and well-loved publisher (owner and founder of Donut Publishings! Books guaranteed to put a smile on anyone’s face!), and Dolores is his best friend/partner/comfort mannequin, which greatly confuses the public but doesn’t concern Five. She travels everywhere with him, and often cameos in the movies made off his books, and he’s gotten into plenty of fistfights over her. He doesn’t care if you don’t understand her importance, you don’t touch her. Hazel is his bodyguard and Cha-Cha is the main actress in his horror and thriller films, all of which are directed by the Handler, who produces his movies and likes to change the details behind his back no matter how hard he tries to make her adhere to what he’s written. Unfortunately, he can’t report or remove her, because she’s offered Hazel and Cha-Cha handsome salaries to hand over whatever information they know, including photos they’ve taken of when Five’s parents come to see how his projects are coming along. They blackmail him into silent fuming, but that all backfires soon enough - Five gets into a car accident in which he takes the brunt of the impact for Aidy, alerting the world to Klaus and Diego’s relationship and Five’s parentage when they come screaming from their cancelled events and into his hospital room, without concern for the millions of photos taken and only worry for their beloved son. No matter. Five will just kill anyone who dares to say a word. After all - those rumors that he writes his novels based on his own murders are not exactly unfounded.

(Influencer) Ben Deadengon is one of the most subscribed-to Youtubers out there, famous for his videos about human rights, kindess, and positivity. He often features Klaus as a guest, since they’ve lived together for a long, long time and are committed partners who like to help each other out, but those videos usually dissolve into them dressing up as pirates and princesses and improving stupid skits. (Not that anybody has any complaints.) He runs a lot of charities, which means that he has indeed met the President, and he’s one of the most beloved and scandal-free people on the Internet, though he’s often involved himself in Klaus’ controversial shit in defense of his partner. He’s been on Broadway and travelled the world, but his main claim to fame is that he was in an accident in which he died for six minutes before coming back to life, therefore earning him the moniker Six. Curiously, the moment he gasped out his second first breath happened exactly as Klaus touched him, prompting a lot of conversations and theories about them being soulmates or some shit, despite soulmates not actually existing (as far as they know…). But Ben’s happy with his life, as it is - he has an at-home butterfly garden (seriously, his windows are all screens and there’s plants and butterflies fucking everywhere, I’m not kidding) and a lovely(?) niece and nephew he gets to babysit when his beloved partner is out. That’s the good life, baby. Plus, ya know - he’s not dead. So that’s automatically awesome.

(Athlete) Luther Monkman is one of the largest men in existence, all of his muscle earned in his rigorous training for the Olympics. He’s won one gold medal every time the tournament comes around, and he plans to keep on doing so. So does Reginald - his abusive trainer and professional cheater. Luther also works with Pogo, a kinder coach who tells him to always believe in himself, but is also frustratingly defensive of Reginald’s horrifying practices. But Luther himself is well-loved - he’s awkward and handsome enough to be a teenage heartthrob, and he’s been single since Allison left him for the last time, though they’re still good friends. He’s known as a gentle giant, having lunch with Klaus and Vanya often and enjoying a bickering and competitive yet loving relationship with Diego. He’s completely free of media scandals, a complete sweetheart - until he’s caught on video choking a guy against the wall, and shit hits the fan. (Nobody cares about Five in the background of the video, standing behind Luther with his fists clenched and his Adam’s apple bobbing under bruises.)

Welcome to my world, bitches.

[theinternetisfulloftrash]

38 yr old anon here.

You’re just 4 yrs apart, and she had such concerns?! I am glad it worked out after all. It certainly seems like the subtext here on tumblr that the two of you have a very happy mutually satisfying and healthy relationship!!! My ex and I met when I was 30, and he was 25. The age difference never occurred to me, but when I was specifically asked about it, or when people spoke about an age difference in a relationship.

I guess what made me so weirded out out here in England was that we only had a 5yr difference, where I was older, and we had a woman at work from the same country as me (who was younger than me), and she met an English guy 20yrs her senior. She was 25, and he was 45 when they met. And I had to watch all of the well wishes, and the discussion about their relationship by third parties that really talked the relationship up. That was really weird.

And I am unsure of how much has to do with indirect racism (because both my ex and I are foreigners, and in her case, she is a foreigner, and he is English), and how much is just good old sexism, because in their relationship the man is older as it should be [according to my father (He always wanted me to date a boy in high school exactly two years older than me????! That’s a strangely specific age difference, which also happens to be the exact age difference between my parents, who started dating in high school…)]

Anyways, I would love to hear the opinion of an ethnic English individual here!!!!

Yes, that’s that anyways. I guess having such a direct comparison def freaked me out about the English and their perception of age differences in relationships. 🤣🙈

I’m glad to hear it seems to be different in Canada. My friend recently moved there, and she will spend the next 5-10yrs there. So, I am more than happy now to visit her in British Columbia ❤️

PS: As a rule of thump, I def support the “half age plus 7 years” rule. It shouldn’t get any more extreme than that, and I would feel creepy. Meaning, I am 38, divided by two is 19, and then plus 7 is 26. Hence, I shouldn’t date anyone younger than 26. Which is a reasonable rule I think. Have you heard of it before?! What do you think of age differences in relationships?!

My parents (specifically my mom) are just very protective of me. I hadn't been in more than one relationship and they were just worried that he might be a creep trying to steal their youngest child's virtue ;) That was not the case at all, and in fact, the two of us were friends and friends only for a year before we actually began dating.

The double standard is definitely real and I'm not really sure that I have any confidence that will change? My parents are two years apart in age as well! However, I do have an aunt who is married to a man 20 years older than her and they are very happy and in love. I will say that there was a lot of judgment (and probably still is), but if it was the other way around, it would be a lot worse, I'm certain.

I hope your friend is enjoying Canada! They are on the opposite coast, but BC is lovely.

I have heard of the half + seven rule, yes. When it comes to age differences in relationships, I think that it's really more about the people than how old they are. I think the reason that we often pair up with people relatively close to our own age is because we identify with them. We have similar life experiences, we are of the same generation, etc. However, I really think age difference matters as much as we grow older. I'm sure that when I'm 45, 50, 60, I will still find people in their 20s attractive. My 65-year-old mother-in-law thinks Dylan has "sparkly eyes and a beautiful smile". Appreciating attractive qualities in other humans doesn't stop just because you put on a few years. I suppose appreciating those things and dating someone is different, but yeah...

I think it's complicated, and for me, it is more of an individual situation kind of discussion than a broad-reaching standpoint? If that makes sense. I also think there are complicating factors when one party is much more advanced in age (e.g. predatory, both against younger and older individuals) that make it a whole can of worms to even get into and there are definitely problematic issues that can occur as a result.

However, generally, I feel like two consenting adults of sound mind should be allowed to be together as long as no one is getting hurt.

You can read this anon's previous messages HERE and HERE

[victoriareyloficlists]

There Was Only One Bed

Updated 7 November 2021

Rest of the Masterlist.

as luck would have it by prncesselene (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 16 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When a case of violent food poisoning ruins Rose and Hux’s honeymoon plans, who better to take their place at a pre-paid Hawaiian beach resort than the Maid of Honor and Best Man? Sure, it’ll take some maneuvering, but a free vacation is a free vacation. They just have to pretend to be devoted newlyweds for a bit to enjoy it. There’s only one glaring issue, really: they can’t stand each other.) Crisis: Girlfriend by perperuna (AO3 2018  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben had been in love with Rey for over a year when he asked her to go with him to his ex’s wedding as his date and ‘girlfriend’.) Deceit, Delusion, and Desire by AttackoftheDarkCurses, thebuildingsnotonfire (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 16 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Rey realizes her student visa is about to expire, she struggles to find a way to stay in the country legally. Her roommate has a terrible idea, and it's just risky enough to work.) Fireproof by SpaceWaffleHouseTM (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, 7 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Rey's home is overrun by a wildfire, she has to evacuate with little time and no warning. Then she saves the life of Ben Solo, the neighbor she barely knows, on the road and he offers her a place to stay in the aftermath.) Gimme Shelter by JaneNightwork (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, 14 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo meets Rey Niima when his mother asks him to drop off a few boxes of old sheets and towels at the animal shelter. He is immediately charmed by her and decides to volunteer at the shelter to get to know her better. In the process of building his relationship with Rey and learning to take care of the animals, Ben learns new ways to heal old hurts.) Happy to Help by SuchaPrettyPoison (AO3 2020  Rated E Incomplete, 13 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Sometimes you just need your neighbor to pretend to be in a relationship with you. Repeatedly.) Home for the Holidays by LarirenShadow (AO3 2016  Rated T Complete, 5 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Kylo Ren, in a moment of weakness, tells his mother he'll be home for Christmas and will bring his girlfriend. Problem is he doesn't have one. Enter Rey, his grad assistant. He makes a deal with her so she'll be his girlfriend for the trip home.) In the Woods Somewhere by Verdantsolstice (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, 5 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Hikers Ben & Rey meet on the trail when they’re both lost. Hours of walking lead them to a convent in the woods. The sisters are very friendly, but refuse to let them both stay unless they’re married. TW: Mentions of ICE and immigration.) Laid Between Words by jeeno2 (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 15 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is nearing the end of her temporary work Visa. Her friend Ben offers to marry her so she can stay in the U.S. She says yes.) Let me Dream, Let me Stay by Melusine11 (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 12 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey has kept up a charade of a non-existant boyfriend for two years and now that Rose and Finn are getting married, she needs someone to pretend to be said boyfriend, enter her coworker Ben.) Look No Further by thewayofthetrashcompactor (BriarLily) (AO3 2019  Rated T Complete, 9 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is spending Thanksgiving alone but a late-night Craigslist ad ends up with her agreeing to crash some asshole's family dinner. At the very least, she's curious what kind of people name their son "Kylo Ren" anyway.) Lucky Number Seven by Pearl Gatsby (DrPearlGatsby) (AO3 2019  Rated T Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Number seven on First and Order orders pizza again. Rey groans when she sees the address, remembering how they didn't bother to tip; but that's nothing compared to how she feels when she's been standing outside the door for two solid minutes, knocking and calling the cell number she has. Nobody answers. :: pizza delivery/college AU) Merry Christmas, I'm Yours by captain_staryeyed (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: After finding out that Rey has nowhere to go for Christmas, Ben invites her to spend Christmas at his parents’ house. During the time spent together, they are forced to confront their growing feelings toward each other.) miles from where you are by Mooncactus (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: After an argument over Star Wars fandom with a "gatekeeping, entitled monster" with the cryptic username of KyloRen, Rey finds herself stuck in a series of unavoidable video calls.) Miss Johnson & the Professor by ElegyGoldsmith (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Professor Ben has his TA Rey accompany him to a conference in Japan but she accidentally booked a single room.) mountain at my gates by KyloTrashForever (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 7 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Hard Outside/Soft Inside Lumberjack Alpha Ben Solo and Horny Engineer Omega Rey Johnson featuring Explicit Hand Holding, ABO, and Mutual Masturbation. (Ft. Snowed In and Bed Sharing for funnies.)) My Whole Life by AttackoftheDarkCurses, thebuildingsnotonfire (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 13 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: The "Without a Hitch" high school sweethearts, fake-dating rom-com AU.) Needing A Teacher by Twisted_Mirror (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 4 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Rey tells her roommate, Ben, that she has only had sex in missionary position, he offers to let her use him to see what she likes. He vows to himself it's all for her pleasure, he has no idea that Rey is trying to drive him crazy.) Nominis by Oh_Snapcrackle (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 8 Chapters, Harry Potter AU, Quick Synopsis: When Professor Skywalker partners Rey with the notorious Ben Solo for occulmency lessons, something goes wrong (or very right) and now their minds are bridged. Between sharing thoughts, inconvenient astral projections, and bedsharing Rey starts to learn that while Ben Solo deserves the reputation he has built, he also deserves the opportunity to change.) Off the cuff by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 4 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Poe gets Ben a stripper for closing a business deal. Ben reluctantly takes part to not waste Poe's money. The stripper hand cuffs him and robs him of clothes and money. Rey heads back to the office late night and finds her hot boss cuffed to the office chair in nothing but his tie.) Only Make-Believe by Hartmannclan (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is in a car accident, so best friend Ben races to the hospital to be with her. What happens when she wakes up with amnesia and believes they are married?) Peacock by AttackoftheDarkCurses (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 22 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Thanks to a series of misunderstandings, failed attempts at flirting, and loud Katy Perry music, Ben grows to hate his new neighbor. Proposing to her wasn't the best solution to his problems.) Plus Won by AmberDread, DarkMage13, Erulisse17, Trish47, venetum (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, 5 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: After a drunken night of complaining at a bar, Rey and Ben agree to be each other's plus-ones for a variety of events. As friends and family continue to invite them to things, they discover that they really enjoy spending time together. And holding hands. And... kissing. What happens when their relationship starts to feel a lot more real than fake?) Saving What We Love by naboojakku (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 18 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: In which Ben and Rey are voluntarily quarantined together for two weeks. Includes: copious amounts of fluff, discussion of mental illness, and way too many hours of Animal Crossing. Feel-good read during these batshit crazy times.) Say it With Sugar by fettuccine_alfreylo (AO3 2016  Rated E Complete, 20 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo is the owner of his family’s small chocolate shop. Rey Kenobi is a talented chocolate maker he hires. They both share the same passion for chocolate. Unfortunately, they share the same kind of anxiety, too.) Snow Sparkles Like Stars by raptorginger (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 9 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: A blizzard forces Professor (of mythology and cosmology) Kylo Ren, aka Ben Solo, off the road while on his way to his parents’ house in Seattle for the holidays. Luckily, the woman who owns the house he’s stranded at is well prepared for a snow-in and (as a bonus) is adorable. Unluckily, she’s the owner of eight mischievous Alaskan Malamutes, who may or may not be the physical manifestations of the old gods of Norse myth.) Someone to Watch Over Me by AttackoftheDarkCurses (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 6 chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Rey is gifted a state-of-the-art all-house AI to beta-test, she never expected "Kylo" to become her best friend, and she never expected him do anything within his power to give her the winter holiday she's always wanted.) Someone You Love(d) by AttackoftheDarkCurses (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 7 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: A misunderstanding leads to a lot of hate sex between roommates Ben and Rey. But when Rey ends up joining him on his trip to visit his family, the truth comes out.) Stone Hollow by violethoure666 (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben and Rey have been tasked with convincing a very grumpy old man to let them use his private road for a bus route. They’re stuck in the middle of nowhere and there’s only one room at the inn *smirk emoji*) Sugar and Spice by Rebel_Scum1221 (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 6 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey bakes when she's stressed, but unfortunately never has enough room to finish all of her baked goods. Thus leading her to give her neighbor- who she may or may not have the hots for- her leftovers. Shenanigans ensue.) Sweet Home by Violetwilson (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Honestly, she only came to Waffle House at two AM to pick up Finn and Poe and maybe order some pancakes. Maybe. But what was she supposed to do when she found a hot businessman with a broken car in the parking lot? Not invite him to sleep over at her place until the town's only mechanic sobered up?) the man, the stallion, and the wind by voicedimplosives (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Weary and alone, Rey barrels west on the Trans-Canada Hwy in her old pickup truck. Weary and in need of a lift, Ben Solo stands by the side of the road with his thumb out, in the hopes of hitching a ride. One hell of a winter storm’s about to roll in, leaving them stranded. What ever shall they do?) The Trial of Naboo: Fall of a Duke by Twin_Kitten (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Historical AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben and Rey are engaged to be married, but after several attempts on her life, he takes personal responsibility for her safety, including keeping her in his bed at night. Problem? Ben is extremely attracted to his bride but the MUST wait until marriage. ) Trapped by spacey_gracie (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 5 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey and Ben have been sworn enemies since they were eight years old. When their best friends Rose and Hux start dating, they decide they're sick of the fighting, and force the pair together to work out their issues once and for all.) under thy own life's key by galvanator (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 7 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben and Rey share a bed on a trip and everything is totally normal and nothing is weird.) variations on a theme of you by diasterisms (AO3 2017  Rated E Complete, 7 Chapters, Canon AU, Quick Synopsis: "Who knows?" Luke darted a faint smile at Ben and Rey as they stewed in silence and disbelief. "The two of you might even learn to get along. Right, Leia?" "Like a house on fire," the General deadpanned. "Complete with screams, flames, and people running for safety." "Indeed." Luke's blue eyes twinkled. "There may be no survivors.") What if I want to kiss you tomorrow? by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben needs to share Rey's bed for the night, but does he want to share more than a bed with her? ) what you take with you by irridesca (AO3 2021  Rated E Complete, 16 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Rey's former boss, heartless defense attorney Kylo Ren, is shot in the head, she's asked to return to her position as his assistant to oversee his recovery. The only problem? When he wakes up two days later, he has no idea who Kylo Ren is. According to him, his name is Ben Solo.) When the party ends by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2021  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey gets wasted at a frat party. Ben finds her, puts her in his room, where she's safe. Rey wakes in the morning after Ben comes out of the shower and nakedness ensues.) would you be so kind? by youcarrymeaway (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: An au where Ben accidentally hits Rey with his car, and also falls in love with her a little.)

[aros001]

Read through light novel vol. 16. Random thoughts.

"Who is this OC looking f**kboy?"

Those were genuinely my first thoughts upon seeing the art of Takt on the throne. And it would seem my immediate dislike was not unfounded.

Seriously though, everything about him is like someone's self-insert original character for their shitty power fantasy Shield Hero fanfic.

"He dresses really cool, like all modern with jeans and pockets, and he can use all the holy weapons and vassal weapons, and his level is above 300, and he has a harem of totally hot powerful women, and he's the king of his own country, and he can counter everything that people use against him, and he can steal powers he doesn't have, and he can beat Naofumi and all the other heroes with, like, no sweat at all!"

I want All For One to come in and kick this little twerp's ass. Show him what a real OP villain who can steal powers is like.

This isn't a critique of the writing by the way. It feels like Takt is supposed to feel like that kind of character who plays to those tropes and is REALLY easy to hate.

I both do and don't like how Naofumi is acting in the prologue. Obviously I don't like specifically what he's doing because it's creepy and uncomfortable, but I really like the reasons for why. The dude is fried from everything that's happened and unlike Itsuki it's not because of a curse. He's grieving from a heavy loss, easily the biggest he's had since coming to this world, and unlike with Ost's death he has no one he can yet focus his anger on, so he's feeling completely lost and mixed up. Another great moment from Sadeena in helping him regain at least some of his sanity. Sex is a common way people try to find comfort after a terrible loss and if that had been the case I think she would have slept with him or even encouraged Raphtalia to be the one for that. But she could see pretty clearly that wasn't the case. Naofumi wasn't looking for comfort. He was practically a zombie, just going through the motions.

“It seems that from among the four holy heroes, the Shield and Bow have been most active over there. Based on their level of activity, there’s also a bias in the legends about the seven star heroes. They mainly talk about the Hammer, Claws, and Whip.” A bias. The Shield and Bow did complement each other well, that was true.

F**k that! Sword and Shield, BroTP!

“Putting that together with what we learned in Kizuna’s world, it sounds like the effects of the fusing of worlds,” I pondered. There was a wave that had combined the Shield world with the Bow world, and then the Shield and Bow world had been fused with the Sword and Spear world to create the current one. It was only natural that a bias in the legends would arise.

"Worlds lived, worlds died. And nothing will ever be the same."

I've talked before that I'm a big fan of the concept of a Multiverse in fiction, especially in superhero comics. Right away I liked that the four Holy Heroes came from different parallel universes and then getting Glass and L'Arc showed that there were also parallel fantasy universes also fighting the waves. And now we get this theory from the characters that Raphtalia's universe is an amalgam, made up of other previous universes that fused through the waves. It's very Crisis on Infinite Earths and JLA/Avengers.

Reading Queen Melromarc describe the king of Faubrey and I'm just remember a scene that I and many Overlord fans love to the depths of our hearts, of Sebas the butler encountering a naked little fat man who got his sexual thrills off beating the women the brothel provided him. Sebas, like any true gentleman, kicked him in the dick so hard he exploded. Is there some to hope that a similar fate befell the king whom apparently married and killed (and probably even worse than that) 9,999 women? Not even Witch deserves that. Nobody deserves that.

Even though it'd probably take him to a dark place he shouldn't go, part of me was hoping for some karma to occur when Witch revealed herself as Takt's ally to Naofumi. He no longer had the shield, meaning he could attack her like he never could before, meaning he could kill her with his bare hands. I'm glad he used the defense rating attack on Takt, because there's been great long-time set-up for that, but yeah, I wanted Naofumi to at least get to break Witch's nose after everything he's been through. And if Witch wasn't irredemable before, she most certainly is now, proving she has no loyalty to anyone other than herself. She used Naofumi and the other heroes from the beginning for her own goals. Her mother had enough control that she couldn't just do whatever she wanted. And Melty was standing in the way of her getting the throne. She's still a terrible person but there were at least reasons for her to be against these people. But Trash? Her father, who has been loyal and on her side since the beginning, who doted and spoiled her from a young age because of how much he loved her? She had no hesitation in ordering him killed along with everyone else. There was no reason behind it. It was just pure cruelly, greed, and self-satisfaction.

And then...there's the Queen. ...F**k. Y'all bastards were really good at keeping that spoiler hidden. I was accidentally spoiled that Alta was going to die but not through this site. I had no idea the Queen was going to die. Of course Naofumi couldn't have the Shield during that part. If he made Mirellia into a shield like he did Ost and Alta he probably would be unstoppable, because she was just that f**king awesome.

We're pouring one out for you, your majesty. May your youngest daughter inherit your great wisdom and unbelievably hilarious slapping ability.

I'm really glad with Trash's development in this book. Like I've said in past posts, I can feel basic empathy for him given his backstory, but feeling sorry for him was not enough to actually put me on his side, because he was not putting in any work to actually be better or redeem himself. He was just acting angry and crazy and then just sad and withered. Here? While he had to be shaken and roused into it (can't blame him for that as he just lost the love of his life), he puts in the effort to make use of himself and holds himself accountable for his past actions. I really like that he wants to continue being called Trash. That is his penance. Not more feeling sorry for himself or blaming the rest of the world. It's time for him to be the man he knows he's supposed to be.

With all that though, Melty was definitely the person I felt the worst for after the death. Of all the younger characters, despite being royalty and mature for her age, she is the person who feels the most like a real kid, and her crying her eyes out while clinging to Naofumi hurt just like it should, because this little girl just lost her mom. No idea what the expectation is in Melromarc for when Melty should take the throne but for her it's always going to feel too soon, because how could it not?

“Daddy . . . thank you for approving my marriage. You’ve finally agreed to let me marry Ollie,” she said dreamily.

“I’ll make you forget this ‘Ollie’ soon enough, although his keeping you a virgin for so long is something to be thankful for!” Takt cackled. It was clear that he was using some kind of illusion to make her think he was her beloved. “Those who don’t give proper thought to their daughters’ happiness have no right to live!”

Oh good! He's a rapist too!

So Naofumi was the Shield's first choice and the other three were the Bow, Sword, and Spear's third choices. I like the credit that's given that the first choice is not guaranteed to be the best, as they can become just as corrupt or egotistical, or the third choices are not guaranteed to be the worst, as they can grow into real heroes. I'm just wondering how the selection process worked and why they all couldn't get their first choices. The Holy Weapons apparently have some sway over the universes they pulled them from, given the promise of granting wishes if they want to return to them. My immediate theory is that the weapons all set up paths that'd lead their choices to being summoned but just through sheer coincidence and randomness all the first choices, save for Naofumi, kept missing the path. Going down the list, the weapons become more desperate and thus are more willing to use more extremes to get their choices, thus why Ren, Motoyasu, and Itsuki had to be killed in order to be summoned. They missed their window with their first and second choices so now they absolutely have to guarantee they get their third, even if the methods are less than ethical.

With the big final boss, the World Eater as Naofumi called it, I'm theorizing that he/she/it is using the waves to fuse multiple universes into one so that he/she/it can eat it all in one go.

I only have two issues with this volume and they're both kind of nitpicks. The first is with Trash's plan, specifically with the Glawick ore. I don't remember it ever being established before in the series. I really liked the Rucolu fruit being used in the Cal Mira wave battle because it was set up way beforehand, so it feels like a lot less of a Deus ex Machina. Same with Naofumi using defense rating attacks after his battle with Glass. That's good set-up. The ore doesn't break the story, it just feels very convenient that such a thing happened to exist. If I'm mistaken and it was set-up before and I just forgot, please let me know.

The second is Naofumi and Raphtalia being separated again after a trip into another universe. The story next volume seems like it'll be very different from last time but that part does feel like a repeat of what we've already seen. Plus, with the new status quo of Naofumi knowing how she feels about him, I want to see their interactions now that he's recovered a bit from the loss of Alta. Again, it's a nitpick, since I'm certain they'll find each other again, but I don't like feeling like I'm being deliberately kept away from what I want to see.

“The source of your power, the one true hero, now orders you. Reconsider the state of all things once more and bring down a storm of flame upon my target! Drifa Firestorm!” Takt completed the spell.

...

“The source of your power, just a hero, now orders you. Reconsider the state of all things once more and scatter the storm that would burn its target! Anti Drifa Firestorm!” I read the magic Takt had incanted and activated magic to nullify it. With that, the fire tornado scattered into nothing, as though it had never existed.

Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch!

“I’m here to destroy everything you possess,” I menaced quietly. “Your pride, your dignity, everything you treasure. I’ve already half-destroyed your composure and your arrogance. Now it’s time for the other half. False hero, possessing six of the seven star weapons and the shield from the four holy weapons! Now face the reality of being defeated by a regular guy who holds none of the legendary weapons!”

No wonder Raphtalia couldn't be in this part. After hearing that line I don't think she'd be able to hold herself back and would have tackled him like a wild Albedo in heat right then and there.

I am so looking forward to when this volume's final battle is animated, especially the part where Naofumi gets his shield back. That is going to feel like such an epic, heroic moment.

So Rishia unlocked Pay-to-Win. ...I don't really know what to say to that. What do ancient magical relics care about money? ("What does God need with a starship?")

So the person Malty had Ren give a sword lesson to back in vol. 11, was that Takt, King Faubrey, or someone we don't know yet, like the mastermind behind everything?

Is Kizuna marked for death now? From how Fitora made it sound to Naofumi, when a Holy Hero dies a new one can't be summoned if the others are still around. If Kizuna's world works similarly, she might have to die or there'll be no Holy Heroes other than her.

Naofumi really likes his Dragon Ball Z, doesn't he? Which is appropriate given I just realized that the Energy Blast from the Spirit Tortoise Shield is almost literally the Kamehameha. Seriously, Kamehameha translates to "Turtle Destruction Wave".

So...what the heck do I do now? I've spent about a month reading through 16 volumes of Naofumi's rise and I know there are at least 6 other volumes that haven't been translated to english yet. I'll probably go find another LN series to read until vol. 17 comes out in July. Though I am curious if RoTSH has a fan translation site like Overlord and Konosuba do.

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/shieldbro/comments/fot3tj/read_through_light_novel_vol_16_random_thoughts/

[greenninjagal-blog]

You said dlamp was one of your favorites! Maybe we can get some good fanfics of that!? 🥰😍😂🤩

Ah, you anons, always knowing exactly what I want to read. 

Plea for my new self - Vampire Virgil becomes the sugar daddy to three broke college students and his ex lover (who is also a vampire). Also Roman will do whatever it takes to get Virgil just to bite him please, and Patton’s thoughts are the least innocent thing about him.

Incredible Cosmic Power - Virgil does his best to not become an anime protagonist but still ends up awakening three genies and being dragged on a quest.

To Tie a Knot - Ethel’s soulstring gets cut before he ever meets the one he’s destined to be with and second chances aren’t supposed to happen but he can’t think of what else it could mean when he wakes up with four new strings wrapped around his fingers.

Sketches Of A Soul - Patton usually draws on himself to hide his urges to self harm but when his soulmates can now see everything he draws on himself....well things get a little dicey. If telling the truth isn’t an option, what other choice is there?

True Loves’ Kiss - Virgil is cursed and his boyfriends keep him company while they try to lift the spell.

The four times Roman fell in love and the one time everybody fell in love with him. - Roman falls in love, again and again, and again, and again.

Four Human-Eating Monsters and An Apathetic Florist - Virgil’s soulmates eat people.

A Snake’s Skin - Janus can fluster his boyfriends by merely showing a tiny bit of skin and he takes full of advantage of that.

My Memories Came Back In the Form of Someone Else - Patton, a well known adventurer, sometimes gets flashes of memories from someone else, but they’ve lead him to his best friends and his current adventuring team. However when they get a new quest from a strange old man those memories become a bit....harder to ignore.

Until the Day it Becomes a Pumpkin - Anime style After School Clubs au where Logan and Dee are pining after Virgil, Virgil is in love with Patton, Patton only has eyes for Roman, and Roman only wants Dee. Remus owns the one braincell and he uses to chaotically.

Mother Hen - Dee takes care of the others and they take care of him.

Branching Out - Stardew Valley au where Roman moves into the abandoned house his grandfather left him and everyone in town seems hellbent on befriending him.

to love a liar (i'll see you in my dreams) - Dee tells lies and grows up believing that no one can love a snake, not even the other animals in his dreams. Remus says “fuck that noise”. 

Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Put on Your Pants - Remus meets all of Roman’s soulmates first despite everything Roman does to prevent that.

Touchdown! - Dee shoots his shot with the four most popular guys in his year at the football game.

My Soulmate, My Slave - Prince Logan and his lover Dee have been looking for their soulmates for a long time. Luckily the newest palace slave seems to have something familiar on his chest.

Touch Me Gently - Roman’s never been afraid of his soulmates, despite the concerning placements of all his soulmarks. 

Destined - Dee hasn’t met his soulmates and has no plan on ever doing so. The universe says “fuck that” and gives him another soulmate bound that is....much harder to ignore.

A Plus One - When Dee gets invited to an office party and asks his friends all separately to be his plus one, he doesn’t expect them all to say yes and he most definitely can’t pick three to say no to.

The Tradition of Happiness - Virgil had been so scared to go on his Ad Aetatem, but now he finds himself wondering if he even wants to go back.

Seven kinds of flowers under his pillow (four kinds of flowers in his lungs) - Dee puts flowers under his pillow hoping it will make his crushes fall in love with him but instead he gets flowers in his lungs.

It’s Always Been This Way (Hasn’t It?) - A shameless self promotion on my part: a hogwarts au where Dee is a deatheater (probably), Virgil gets caught in a lie, Patton forgot he has depression but not how much a certain Slytherin means to him, Roman will do whatever it takes to protect his family, and Logan doesn’t know if he can trust himself. And everything is made more complicated by a time turner and an unbreakable vow.

Blessed Warmth - Dee goes out for a heated blanket and goes home with a soulmate. (And then passes out)

Little Words - The only things it took for Virgil to actually meet his soulmates was a crash and a few words written on his left hand.

got no strings - Dee cannot see soulstrings but that does not stop him from conning every person stupid enough to thing he can. This includes his roommate (whom he most definitely isn’t pinning for) and his roommate’s new trio of crushes (whom he also isn’t pining for). 

Together - To be fair, they did ask Deceit if he wanted to join them. But....Deceit just doesn’t like sex like they do.

Freeze Your Brain - Local idiots huddle for warmth

The Vampire Hunting Vampire - Virgil doesn’t mind being held captive and forced to help his handlers catch other Vampires, but he does mind the incessant hunger for blood that means he’s constantly at risk for tearing out  Patton’s throat. (Why can’t his dumb partners see how dangerous he is?)

Glitter into Gold - Roman’s prank misses Virgil and hits Logan and they’re all gay.

Warmth in the Storm - Virgil introduces his boyfriends to his son.

hands to yourself (or not, preferably) - Roman has a thing about touching. (He really likes it)

Last To Know - Doing things out of order seems to the the only way they know how to do things. Aka: They move into together, get married, and then Logan gets around to talking about feelings.

Deceit v. Touch Starvation - Take a guess.

Taken - Deceit is kidnapped by the Dragon Witch and he doesn’t think anyone is coming to save him.

Colors of the Heart - You can’t see certain colors until you see your soulmate cry and well...Solace (deceit) is pretty good at making people cry.

Golden Thread - Janus has an invisible thread around his tongue that urges him to lie to the others. Unfortunately, this is not a situation he can risk lying it, and the others don’t seem to get that.

Protector - Virgil is a monster hunter, but... its so much easier just to help them than kill them.

Snakey Days - Janus turns into a snake when tired.

One More - Janus isn’t part of their group, but he’s there for them when they need him regardless.

Absent Ash - Janus’s four loves died six years ago, and getting over it is... hard. Just when he thinks he might be getting somewhere with this recovery shtick, he comes face to face with a face from his past.

The Family Secrets - Virgil is a secret witch who lives with his best friends who are 100% normal. Or at least he thinks they are until his magic starts getting out of control, and they...don’t seem... surprised. 

(Un)Wanted - Virgil runs straight into a fairy circle to get away from his village. 

And now for some lovely nsfw stuff!!

Janus Finds Out That He Is, In Fact, A Huge Bottom (Shocker) - Janus finds out he’s a bottom when his boyfriends tie him to a chair.

i’ll sink for you - Janus is a master hypnotist and the others like being hypnotized and are horny.

Trend Setter - A bet with his best friend Remy leads to Virgil showing up naked for his boyfriends and filming their reactions.

What You’ve Begging For - Janus is practically asking for Patton to punish him. They all find out how much they like it.

Cry Me A River - Remus cheats on Patton so obviously the only way to get revenge is to video Patton having sexy fun times with his friends in every surface of Remus’s apartment and sending it to him.

Sense5 - Five Guys from different countries suddenly find themselves psychologically linked and able to interact despite having never met each other before.

my desired - Janus is the naga in the woods between four villages that demands their most unwanted be given over. Not for human sacrifice or anything, but apparently no one told Virgil, Logan, Patton, nor Roman that.

For more fun fics recs lists by me check out my Fic Rec Masterlist!

[darklingichor]

Odd Thomas, Forever Odd & Brother Odd by Dean Koontz *MAJOR SPOILERS* Long post

I've written a little bit about these before. My goal was to listen to all seven of the Odd books plus the two short stories... I couldn't make myself do that.

I use to really love those books. I use to really love Dean Koontz, just recently, the writing has started to annoy me. Since I haven't read any of his new stuff since Saint Odd came out, I can't say it's because the writing has changed. I think I have changed, I'm just not sure in what way. So, I'm going to look at the first three books in the series because 1. I like them the most (sort of). 2. Because I honestly feel like the series should have either ended there or jumped to Saint Odd. 3. Because I'm going to see if by writing about them, I can figure out why reading Koontz in my 20's was like a breath of fresh air, but in my 30's it feels like when the air conditioner is some how making everything too cold, yet not cooling things down at all: uncomfortable and bafflingly frustrating.

Odd Thomas is a 20 year old fry cook in the small california desert town of Pico Mundo. He's seen as sweet but strange to all but a few people in town. He grew up with a mostly absent father, a crazy mother and a loving but wild grandmother, the last has already gone to the great beyond, so what family he has, he has found.

He has a girlfriend named Stormy, they've been together since they were sixteen, his boss at the Grill where he works, Terry, who has an encyclopedic knowledge of Elvis Presley, a 300 lb mystery writer named P. Oswald Boone (Little Ozzie), his landlady who is afraid she'll turn invisible, and the cheif of police.

Odd also sees ghosts, or The Lingering Dead as he calls them. He trys to help them crossover. Sometimes it's as simple as talking to them (though they don't speak back, "the dead don't talk")  oftentimes is complicated and dangerous. Hence why his close relationship with the cheif comes in handy and also why it formed. He has other gifts. The occasional prophetic dream that usually only gives him bits and pieces to work off of, he sees these spectors of calamity that tend to show up right before something bad happens (like an earthquake or a shooting) they are black shadow things that Odd calls Bodochs, and psychic magmatism, where  he can find anyone he's looking for by wondering around with a clear picture in mind.

Everyone in his circle knows about his gift other than his landlady who is slightly and gently insane.

There is one other person in his circle, the ghost of Elvis who Odd had been trying to help crossover since he was in highschool.

The first book takes place over the course of three days.

To avoid a blow by blow, I'll summarize. After an eventful morning during which he helped a murdered twelve year old cross over by catching her killer, Odd goes to his shift a the Grill. There, he sees a creepy little man that reminds him if a mold and fungus, followed by a group of Bodochs. He finishes his shift, goes looking for the guy he's dubed Fungus Man.

He eventually finds his way to Fungus Man's house, breaks in and finds it unnaturally cold and silent. He discovers a room that is pitch black except for a small red light. He soon finds that what has made this room so black and the house so cold and quiet is the mob of Bodochs occupying it. After the Bodochs stream out, Odd is able to see that the room is an office and Fungus Man (aka Bob Roberts) is obsessed with serial and mass murderers, he has a file cabinet full of folders on them and posters of famous murders on his wall. Bob seems to be planning something, but Odd doesn't know what, as his only clue is a planner page in a folder from the killer cabinet. The folder is labeled with Bob's name and the date is two days away.

A series of happenings eventually leads to odd trying to stop a horrifying plan

*SPOILERS STOP READING RIGHT HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE END*

So, Bob is a satanist in cahoots with a couple of other satanists to shoot up and blow up the Pico Mundo mall, among other places. He is able to stop them from completing their goal, but some people do die, including Stormy who was working at an ice cream shop at the mall.

Forever Odd

It's months later and Odd has moved into Stormy's apartment. He wakes up to find the ghost of one of his best friends's stepdad at his bedside. Strangely, Danny, a guy with brittle bone disease, with whom Odd grew up, was not mentioned in the last book.

So, the ghost of Danny's stepdad convinces Odd to go to his and Danny's house. Once there, Odd finds stepdad's body and discovers that Danny has been kidnapped.

What follows is a slightly weird story.

Odd eventually finds Danny and his kidnappers. One is a bug-shit woman Danny was talking with on a phone sex line. To impress her he told her about Odd. She's into her own twisted form of the Vudun religion and decides that Odd can show her the lingering dead and wants him become one of her crew. She kidnapped Danny to lure him out.

Danny is rescued, bad guys defeated, and Odd decides he needs to get out of Pico Mundo for a while.

Brother Odd

Odd has spent the last several months at the St. Bartholomew's Abbey, in the California Mountains, as a lay visitor among the monks and nuns. The Abbey is also home to a a community of disabled children. Odd becomes  close with four people in particular The Mother superior, The Priest at the head of the monks, Brother Knuckles, an ex mob guy turned monk, and Brother John, a wealthy guy turned monk. Only the first three know of his gift.

Waiting up to see a snow storm break, Odd finds Brother Timothy unconscious or dead on the grounds. He is then clubbed on the back of the head and knocked out. A search for Brother Tim leads to a strange mix of science and the spiritual that I for one found really cool.

** SECOND SPOILER**

Elvis crosses over in this one and Odd contemplates becoming a monk. Two reasons I think that this should have been the last one. Another reason is that he comes very very close to connecting with Stormy though a conduit to the otherside. Third, this is the last book where Odd is truly Odd.

See, Odd hates guns and will only use one as a last resort. In the first, Odd takes out most of the bad guys with a baseball bat, in the second, bug-shit lady was killed by a cougar, the bad guy in this one was killed by someone else.

Although his ability to see and help the lingering dead is not the main focus of the second or the third, it's still something he does. There is character progression from the first to the third. When we meet Odd he is trying to carve out a life dispite his traumatic childhood and while trying to do right with the gifts he has. After he loses Stormy, the second commitment becomes more intense, because of his conviction that the only way he will meet Stormy on the other side is to live his life in the best way he can, and that means using his gifts to help people. He's sadder, slightly less heedful of danger, but still fully committed to flighting the good flight, in his unconventional way.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, in the fourth through the seventh, the train is derailed, possessed, and also on fire.

Not only does his primary gift take a back seat, but the fight he is flighting isn't between the forces of good and evil, or even between justice and injustice, it's a culture war.

And the side of the war that Odd is on is peopled with climate change deniers, dooms day prepers, anti-government people who supply other "good guys" with guns,  other anti-personnal gear, tech that circumvents federal guidelines. All the "bad guys" are anyone with any sort of power judges, lawyers, cops, corporations, politicians. Their victims are the hard working Americans, the waitresses, the truck drivers... Strike that. The victims are the Christian hardworking Americans who evedently are being "persecuted in their own country" (this might be a different rant for a different blog but I maintain that there is a big difference between Persecution and Denial of Entitlement. Persecution is being in danger of being harassed, hurt, killed or imprisoned for your beliefs, ethnicity or culture. And when that happens justice is less likely to happen for the person or people targeted. Denial of Entitlement is when a person, or people, cry injustice because they either can't dress up their persecution of others in their beliefs, or can't force those beliefs on others, through law, or through being amazingly obnoxious).

Not only are anyone in power corupt, they are satanists, not are they satanists, they are the same sect of satanists who attacked Pico Mundo, not only are they the same satanists that attacked Pico Mundo, they have an actual connection to Satan. Like they can call up demons and monsters.... Yet for some reason they still use bombs, guns and weponized diseases to wreak havoc.

Now, if Koontz wanted to showcase some characterization of how to fight against a corupt system, that's cool, I mean I'm all for calling out people in power. But this vears into government lizard people territory, and if that was the type of book he wanted to write then that's cool too,but he essentially highjacked Odd's story to do it.

I have a hard time believing that when Odd picked up the ghost of Frank Sinatra at the end of Brother, and walked off into the sunset, that the original intent was to end up in the middle of a plot to plant nukes around the country and then, accompanied by pregnant girl who is some how The Virgin Mary's mother, to a house where time travel is possible and mutant pigs fade in from a post apocalyptic future and want to eat people, where they pick up a sort of dead, sort of immortal child, who is neither of those any more. Only to then to leave them to go on a road trip with an old lady, who some how has connections to the metaphysical, and a microchip planted in her ass that makes it to where she doesn't have to sleep, to rescue kids kidnapped by the powerful satanists to be used as human sacrifice. Along the way, they meet up with some fighters in this coming war, who while they do not wear tin foil hats, they have the cheerfully bloodthirsty air of cult members waiting for the end times. (Side note about the roadtrip book: Deeply Odd is the most boring, yet weird book I have read since Breaking Dawn. Say what you will about the crazy pigs and time travel in Odd Apocalypse, it's at least interesting).

And then to end up back in Pico Mundo to fight said satanists. The in increasingly nonsensical plots really just there to deliver commentary on how the world has gone to shit and everyone is to focused on the material.

Again, remember that Odd is pretty apolitical. He's never voted, owns only the clothes on his back, prefers Shakespeare and old movies to tv, which I figure also includes the news. How does this not equal out to a kid being a patsy for this group, which essentially takes over the narritive. I mean, yeah, he's still doing his thing, but he has many of his moves ditcatated by this group. This includes carrying a gun, all the time.

Again, Odd hates guns. Granted, by the last book, he has spent three books killing people with guns while talking about how much he hates killing people with guns, but up till the last two books, his hatered of guns is seen as a virtue, and then suddenly, he's an idiot if he doesn't arm himself to take a piss.

This makes very little sense to me. Odd is a simple guy, he wants to live his life as long as he has to, do right by the dead and make his way back to Stormy, all the while perfecting his pancake recipe. How the fuck did we get from this to "Everything is shit, there are three type of people, those in power who are working for the devil, those on the side of the angels and the idiots who don't see what's going on. And dispite all the supernatural stuff, we still need to busta cap in someone's ass.

I know that Koontz is Catholic, and I speculate that he had a renewal of his faith somewhere, but also somewhere along the line he took a turn into conservative libertarian territory if that is a thing that can exsist.

I feel like originally, the idea was to have Saint Odd follow Brother Odd, at least in some incarnation. It makes sense, the satanist sect want to come back and finish what was started, and take out the town and Odd, who cocked it up to begin with. In the first book Odd describes Roberts and his cohorts as playing satanists but just using it as a delivery system for their sick want to kill people and be famous for it. It follows that others who are also playing at being satanists would come back to town to get revenge for their fallen brethren. This also trucks with Forever Odd where the bug-shit lady was playing at being a Vudun, and with Brother Odd where people played at being faithful.

This is how ai think it should have gone:

Odd goes from the Abbey, where he is shown, yet again, that evil is a human driven force, that those who wallow in pride, in want of adoration and perfection can be the down fall of themselves and others, back to his home town to defeate these sad delusional people once and for all.

Or

Odd goes home for Christmas at the end of Brother, decides he wants to take vows, and goes about the process of becoming a man of the cloth. Maybe he goes back to St. Bart's, and he figures out a way to help the lingering dead from there, or, after he is confirmed in whatever capacity, he goes back to Pico Mundo and works along side Stormy's priest uncle. He sort of Father Dowlings it until he passes.

Instead, suddenly the structured feel of all of the supernatural things, which (implied by the third book) are based in science and the laws and rules of the universe that God laid down, turns into... Magic?

Doesn't matter how or why, what matters is there is a war! And the little fry cook shall lead them!

Seriously. Five years of Christian School has me seeing the turn that Odd's story takes, a couple of ways.

First it is either an overworked Christ story, where Odd is swept up in a war between the oppressed and the opressers, even though his life and mission is mostly one of mercy. In the end being a sacrifice that saves millions (by preventing the spread out f a weponized strain of rabies) but his sacrifice will only be remembered by a handful of people at first. The difference is of course that Odd buys into the culture war even though it make no sense.

Or, it's a Saint's story. Struggle, strife and miracles. See, it use to be that to be canonized, you had to have three miracles. His miracles? Well, first, his helping of the dead to cross over could be one, the preventing of whatever demon the satanists summoned in Deeply Odd, could be another, and finally, somehow managing to send Little Ozzie the manuscript for Saint Odd after Odd himself had already died, could be the last.

Either way, books four, five, and six are completely unnecessary.

So why does knootz's writing annoy me? It's self righteous and condicending. Poking fun a people who watch tv, enjoy unsophisticated things, bemoaning those who don't see just how stupid it is to buy into media, and how people are just marching their own way to misery because they just don't Get It.

It's the same time of people who look down on adults who do kid stuff sometimes "Why would you read John Green when you can read Dickens? Why would you watch Inside Out when you can watch Citizen Cane?"

Why would you eat coco puffs? Adults don't do that!"

I'm sorry, have I outgrown fun? A book is a book, a movie is a movie, breakfast cereal is breakfast cereal and you should be able to watch anything you want on tv without being shamed by a book that has an exploding cow in it.

[yooniesim]

𝓢𝓤𝓖𝓐𝓡 𝓕𝓡𝓔𝓔;; Update

hey everyone!! so i’ve just about collected all of the sf entries, and i’ve been getting them all organized and in game. but you’re probably wondering, what happens now? so i thought i’d go over a few faq type questions in this post!! (if you have anymore questions, please let me know and i’ll add them)

general questions

what are you doing with our sims, anyway?

well! at the moment, i’m sorting cc, giving them lil makeovers so they all fit together/in my game, and figuring out where they fit in everything i already had planned. this is a teeny spoiler, but all of them won’t be auditioning- some are already trainees with SF! but knowing how they DID audition was important, so that’s what i asked for~ hehe. i didn’t want anyone to get hopes up because not everyone will be in the posts all the time- i’m still writing and figuring out dynamics and stuff, and i have my own characters too of course- but i’m hoping everyone will show up at least once.

what exactly are you changing about them?

i’ll be changing their appearance somewhat in terms of some skin details, makeup, and clothing (dependent on the scene in question). but i’ll be keeping them as close to the original sim as i can while getting them a lil closer to my style (and lessening the load on my poor poor mods folder, lol). also, personality wise there may be some changes, just to fit the plot. i’m keeping 99% of everything you guys said, but i’ll be adding some things too. just because, though there won’t be any over the top “villains” in my story, people (especially young vulnerable teens in a stressful situation) are complicated and have flaws!! but i won’t be making them totally different sims or anything like that.

can we talk to you about our sims more?

yes!!!! if you have something to add, feel free to message me anytime. i love bouncing ideas off people, it just makes stories 10,000 times better imo (and i’m more of a roleplayer than an author at heart, i admit it willingly lol)

what the heck is this story even about???

like i said in the casting call post, it’s about yoonie’s entertainment agency, sugar free. yoon isn’t a main character in this, exactly, bc i wanted to focus on new sims, like a next generation type of thing, but it IS his company. so his life will have a lot of influence over what’s happening in the story, even if it’s not all on screen (which is relevant to the next question). but overall it’s about the trainees.

are there any potential triggers i need to know about?

yes. note that a large amount of these mostly have to deal with backstory, and while they may be mentioned, might not actually appear in the posts themselves. however, i will still tag EVERYTHING appropriately just to be safe. and will do warning text posts in advance if something i didn’t think of before pops up. here’s the list for now:

transphobia

homophobia

misgendering

body dysphoria

fatshaming

mpreg/trans preg

miscarriage

child abuse

eating disorders

depression/postpartum

attempted suicide

racism/colorism

i don’t intend this to be an over the top “dark” or mature story exactly, like i said a lot of this is rooted in backstory mentions, but there are some things that also just go along with the subject matter (homophobia, colorism, eating disorder, etc). it’s not drama for the sake of drama, but realistic i’d say. i’ll treat everything as sensitively as i can and, like i said, include appropriate tags. esp. regarding transphobia as my yoonie is trans and very candid while being in an environment that isn’t always accepting and kind.

how will the posts be formatted?

i’ve gone over this a lot in my head, because i’m always caught between doing subtitles on posts and writing in the description. so this is what i think i’ve settled on: the posts themselves will usually have dialogue subtitles. however, down below i’ll write a much more descriptive version of what’s going on, including all the dialogue from the subtitles. i hope this will help especially with people that find it difficult to see subtitles on pictures/just don’t like them that much, as well as people that don’t want to read everything in big blocks of text.

do you already have posts finished? is there a schedule?

i already have some posts finished and i’ve been doing a lot of writing. however, since i just got everyone’s sims, i’m still working out some plot points with new characters. there won’t be a formal schedule. i just wanted to share from my personal universe in a fun way (and see all you guys’ amazing sims hehe).

in-universe questions

when does this take place?

2028. bangtan has been disbanded for seven years. sugar free entertainment is still in its relative infancy as a subsidiary of big hit entertainment. big hit still has the same CEOs, while jin holds a president position. source music still exists as a subsidiary, and so gfriend is still a thing, but txt does not exist here. for reasons... you’ll see eventually.

where does this take place?

two countries: us and sk. i’m using sim cities too, but i consider them to be “american” cities (ex. san myshuno). sfe is based in korea of course, but yoon does a lot of traveling and capitalizing on the western market (so he holds auditions in usa, canada, etc too)

simlish? english? korean? what’s going on with languages?

just because i like simlish (lol), in this universe simlish replaces english. but of course, i’m still typing in english so everyone that is an english speaker can understand XD plus, that’s the only language i’m fluent in... tho being fluent in simlish would be an achievement, haha. all other languages still exist, korean, japanese, etc.

i think that’s all for now, but if you have any more questions pls let me know :)

[samwilsonshandsandass]

Chapter 13 of Mr. Cavill you dog is kinda fat by @keanureevesisbae

‘I’m a changed man, Livi.’

I will only ever trust that sentence if it’s backed by numerous actions

 Wesley could’ve stabbed me in my stomach and that wouldn’t have hurt or shocked me, as I am now. ‘He is six?’ I ask him, trying so hard not to raise my voice. ‘You knocked someone up right after you left me?’ Wesley doesn’t say a word. ‘Oh my God,’ I say in utter disbelieve, running my fingers through my hair. ‘You are un-fucking-believable. You left me, let me figure this whole parenting thing out all on my own, while you start a family? Wesley, what the fuck is wrong with you? I can’t believe this. You leave me, my whole family leaves me, because I got pregnant. Have you any idea in what kind of fucking situation you put me through?’

He's even more of a piece of shit than I thought

 ‘I want to get to know her.’

Are you fucking shitting me?!

 It’s quiet for a few seconds, before I finally snap again. ‘That idiot honestly thought that he could just barge right back into my life, after everything he didn’t do for me?’ I ask myself out loud. ‘That bastard had the guts, the guts, to hand me over his card, so I could call him if we change our minds about it. Did you know he has a new lady, who is pregnant and already gave birth to a kid of him? That kid is six. Six! While I’m struggling with my job, with my new baby all by myself, he is out there, impregnating this other woman…’ ‘Mommy, what is impregnating?’ ‘… having kids with her and being a loyal loving family man. What the hell is wrong with him? Now I finally,  finally have the life that I wanted for both myself and Vanessa and he has the nerves to just walk into my life again? Thinking he can do that? Why are men such big fat pigs? Who has the audacity to look around in a restaurant, see his ex girlfriend with her daughter and obviously her new boyfriend and just walk up to them to ask: ‘Is this her?’. Like he knows Vanessa. Like he was there for her when she was just born!’

  ‘Because… I want to get to know him.’ I sigh deeply. ‘Sweetheart, he left you, before you were born. I think that is all you need to know about him. Besides, you have a great dad now.’ She nods. ‘I know, but I want to ask him something.’ ‘What do you wanna ask him?’ ‘Why he left.’

  ‘But what if she likes him more?’ I ask and I realize that was my fear all along. ‘I tried so hard for her and what if she meets him and thinks: oh, that man, I like him a lot more than I like my mom and the entire family she gave me.’

My heart just ripped in half even just at the thought of this happening

 ‘No, no, no,’ Henry says, ‘you know that is not going to happen. Because of your honesty to her all these previous years, she is well aware of what he did to both you and her. It’s always her biggest fear that I’m leaving after she did something that she shouldn’t do. I think she just wants some answers, so she can think about it.’

And my heart tore a little more and then mended itself a tiny bit

 I’m surprised Wesley is early. He was always late when we dated. Maybe he did change, a little bit. Before we walk into the cafe, I stop Vanessa in her tracks and I say: ‘You can ask him anything you want. If there is something he says that you don’t like, you can tell him that. If you want to leave, you can just ask me or Henry and we’ll leave right away. Remember, you don’t owe him anything.’

This is so important to tell Vanessa that this is in her hands!

 Wesley takes her hand in his, while he keeps standing up. I don’t want to compare (but I’m still gonna), but all the insanely tall Cavills crouch down when they talk to her. ‘Hi Vanessa, I’m Wesley.’

This is such a good example of show don’t tell, I mean how do you not crouch down on the child’s level? Who is this awful? Even the leaders of entire countries do that!

 ‘Why did you leave my mommy?’ ‘Because I was scared,’ he says. ‘I thought I wasn’t ready to be a dad yet.’ There is so much I want to say to him. You think I was ready to become a mother? You think I wasn’t scared?

Seriously, show me one person, especially women, who aren’t scared of becoming a parent for the first time, especially under the pressure society puts on them in the manner of “Motherhood is a woman’s greatest calling and there is no reason to be scared or bad parts or whatever”

 ‘Why didn’t you want to love me?’ … Wesley doesn’t know what to say. ‘Am I that unloveable?’ she continues to ask.

My heart is breaking again

 Vanessa frowns. ‘But he didn’t love me.’ ‘He didn’t even want to love you. He didn’t even try,’ I say, not caring he is there and can totally hear this. ‘Remember sweetheart, he walked out on you and me, not the other way around.’ ‘I was scared,’ Wesley tells me. ‘Don’t you think I was?’ I ask him, absolutely dumbfounded. I turn to Vanessa again and ask her: ‘Remember what I always tell you? About fear?’ She nods. ‘That you are allowed to be scared, but that it should never stop you in life.’

This child is the best and for the rest, refer back to the above. This man is unbelievable. Instilling the notion of not being lovable in Vanessa before she’s even born and then trying to justify himself with this weak-ass shit without any kind of introspective

 ‘You know,’ Vanessa continues, ‘I always wondered why I didn’t have a dad. Kids in my class have one and I wanted one too.’ ‘I understand,’ Wesley says, though he grows more uncomfortable with the second. I bet he underestimated my daughter and her communication skills and now he should deal with the consequences of that easy thinking of his.

Don’t underestimate children ever but especially don’t underestimate this child

 ‘And then my mommy met Henry,’ she says with a beaming smile. ‘He is a real daddy, you know. He bought me my first bike, my first Christmas tree and he took my out on a Valentines date two days ago.’ Yes, honey, please rub it in.

Tell him everything girl!

 Wesley takes a sip of his coffee and he actually is trying to leave, I can totally see it in his body language. ‘Where do you think you’re going?’ Henry asks, picking up on those signs as well. ‘You sit down now. Vanessa is talking to you and you better listen to it.’

Okay but Henry has never met this man and each person has kinda different body language and tells (even if they’re small differences) and still he saw right through him

 Vanessa nods. ‘He is going to adopt me soon,’ she continues, eyes shining bright with excitement. ‘And then we are officially a family.’ ‘Right.’

Rub it in rub it in rub it in rub it in

 ‘My mommy cried a lot because of you. She didn’t know I saw her, but usually at night she would cry on the couch. I heard her talking to my auntie Belle about you and that I don’t have a daddy. That’s your fault.’ … ‘Vanessa,’ Wesley says, ‘I don’t want to have this conversation with you.’

Wesley is not only a piece of shit he is also a coward. Yes, this is a seven year old child telling you in all honesty what she feels and how she feels about him but on top of that Wesley lacks any kind of introspective and he had seven years to work on that plus a new family which somehow has to endure him/lives with him

 She seems a bit shocked. ‘Why not?’ she asks. ‘Yeah, Wesley, why not?’ I ask him, crossing my arms in front of my chest. ‘Tell her why not.’ ‘This is a grown up conversation.’ ‘No, it’s not,’ I retort. ‘It’s about her, so she should have a conversation with you and if you are intimidated by a seven year old, then you are really even less of a man than I figured you were.’ Henry clears his throat. ‘You keep your ass on that chair and if you don’t do that, I have no problems at all forcing you onto that seat. You listen to Vanessa and you have a conversation with her. Right here and right now.’

If he expected anything less, he’s even dumber than I thought

 She thinks about her next move long and hard. ‘Cool.’ Vanessa simply stares at him and even tilts her head. ‘I don’t like you.’ My mouth falls open and I can’t help but feel so proud of her. ‘Excuse me, what?’ Wesley asks. ‘I don’t like you,’ she repeats, rolling her eyes and I can almost hear her thinking: Are you deaf? ‘You made me sad, because you walked out before I was born. You made my mommy sad and very angry yesterday and I don’t like it when that happens. I am happy that I saw you, because now I know that you… Mommy, can I say this?’ ‘Go for it.’ ‘Now I know that you really are an idiot.’ She looks at Henry. ‘Right, daddy?’ Henry nods. ‘You’re totally right, sunshine.’

YOU GO GIRL

 ‘You allow this?’ Wesley asks me. ‘You allow this kind of talk?’ ‘I didn’t know you had the right to give an opinion about my parenting skills,’ I say to him. ‘I wanted a second chance, but with what you are telling her about me…’

Wesley loses an IQ point with each second by himself through being himself

 ‘Is the truth, buddy,’ Henry says. ‘What did you think would happen? That they waited seven years for you to come back? Of course not. You left them and Olivia made the brave choice of raising her daughter with the upmost honesty and respect, something that you obviously lack.’ ‘And you think you can just barge into their lives and be the savior?’ Wesley retorts. ‘Excuse me?’ Henry asks. ‘I’ve been acting more like a dad to Vanessa in one day than you have been your entire life. I think you should be grateful that I swooped in and give her the dad she deserves to have.’

And apart from that, his dog threw up on his carpet and that set everything in motion but Wesley doesn’t need to know that

 ‘You totally set this kid up,’ he continues. ‘Talking bad about me behind my back.’ ‘Well, I would’ve talked bad about you right in your face, but you walked out of my life, remember?’

This is one of the situations where what happens/happened is actually their fault. And gaslighting? He is getting worse and worse by the second and I didn’t think that was possible

 ‘I do, actually and I did waltz into their lives. Turned out to be amazing. Honestly, Wesley, you don’t know what you’re missing. Vanessa is such a bright and intelligent and well spoken girl and Olivia is fascinating on her own and an amazing mother.’

Olivia marry this man asap

 Wesley doesn’t have any control over himself anymore, because he launches forward, planning on hitting Henry, who doesn’t seem impressed one single second. Henry grabs my lousy ex boyfriend by his collar and pushes him against the wall. ‘What was that?’ he asks unbothered.

Who thinks of the idea of hitting a man of this body, height, posture, muscle mass and strength and thinks that’s a good idea? Like, every camera, even when used by professionals make you heavier by, say, 20lbs. So, in real life Henry (like every person) is a little slimer than on camera but his muscles stay and everyone can see what weights he lifts and how he runs and through his movies we also know how he moves in a fight and then hitting him seems like a good idea? Holy shit how dumb is this man?

 God, he is sexy and this is totally doing things to my panties right now.

Same

 ‘Easy, wasn’t it?’ I could’ve known that Henry wasn’t going to just let him go. He throws Wesley to the ground and says: ‘You big piece of shit.’

How is this so hot

 ‘You are truly Superman, daddy,’ Vanessa says with a smile. ‘We are really tough, aren’t we?’

Vanessa sees him as Superman but she sees all of them as tough and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 The Cavill and Tran family groupchat Piers: I already told you guys, but I am proud that you told that idiot off and please tell me what Vanessa wants. I want to buy her a present for being such a total bad ass. Charlie: I swear, if I ever run into him, I’m going to throw him accidentally in front of the bus. What a fucking idiot. Mom: Charlie! Charlie: What? You said the exact same thing! Mom: But with you, I never know if you mean it. I don’t want any of my kids in jail, even if I agree with your actions. Dad: I’ll do it then. I’m old anyways. I have nothing to lose. Mom: Colin! Niki: Yeah, you go dad. You go throw that fucking moron in front of the bus. Henry: I support you, dad. Olivia: Not to be that kind of person, but I’d rather you spend time with Vanessa than in jail. Please leave the idiot alone. Mom: Finally some common sense in this group chat. I’m glad we added you, Olivia, because it can be hard being a woman alone with these guys. Dad: So I can’t throw him in front of the bus? Olivia: No, I’m sorry. I can tell you this though: resisting the urge to kill him, will get easier over time. Henry: I hope you are right, love. Simon: Not to be that guy, but Olivia, can you give me Belle’s number?

Have I already said I love their group chat? And Simon you go!