#also especially the million little shining stars had just aligned

[evermorre]

just thought you should know that I still not recovered from hearing “you should’ve been there, should’ve burst through the door with that ‘baby i’m right here’ smile”—> “I heard your key turn in the door down the hallway, is that your key in the door? is it okay? is it you?” in person. ok thanks bye

[youwouldntlietopapa]

24- with Primo. Please and thank you.

First, I was hoping for some Primo prompts. I feel like I don't get a lot of chances to write him and I'd like more.

Second, HOW DARE???? I HAVE A HEADACHE NOW FROM CRYING??? WHY??? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME YOU MONSTER??????

Third, I'm not even sorry.

No real warnings on this one except for maybe emotional pain over yet another old man I love. Please refer any complaints to the account above. It's all on them.

Also available on AO3

ahem @the-cardinale just... if you're interested.

_____________________________________________________________

It had always been something when it came to Primo over the years. A few false starts. A few missed opportunities. Always the wrong time, the wrong place. The Ministry, duties, family, Papa, all of it. The stars simply hadn’t aligned. Not like you’d wanted. Not like you’d prayed. And, Satan help you, you had prayed. Each morning and night, before the great altar and alone in your room. Everything you did for the Abbey you offered up as a prayer.

But, instead, you had watched him, year after year. Rising in power, basking in his unholy glory, becoming the man you knew he was meant to be. His radiant beauty and his noble bearing only shining brighter each day. Even as you watched his silken hair of spun gold shift to silver and his taught, perfect skin begin to loosen and droop. Like the finest wine, grown nearly priceless with the passage of time.

If only time had been so kind to us both, you thought, looking into the mirror with a heavy sigh. Pulling your hair back tightly, winding it into a practiced bun at your crown. Trying valiently to put such thoughts out of your mind. The same thoughts you’d been trying to set aside for years… decades.

Fool. It’s too late now. Best to just let him go.

You shake your head and sigh, duty calls and you haven’t risen so high in the ranks to loose your footing now. Just forget it and get on with your day.

You manage it, reasonably well, as you do most every day. Assigning duties to the new Sisters, overseeing others, paperwork, emails, prep for lectures and seminars, making calls about bookings, sceduling meetings. The list is endless. Endless enough to keep you occupied with other things. The way you like it. The way that keeps you sane. Head down, nose to the grindstone.

Right up until you look up and find yourself standing in front of the greenhouse.

You could have sworn you only came out to get a little fresh air, to enjoy the warm early days of fall before the winter chill takes hold. Lost in your own thoughts, a million miles away. While your treacherous feet have betrayed you once more and carried you here, quite against your will. They know the path too well, walked too many times, years ago and all the time in between. Slowly spacing out the visists when it hurt too much to be there. Finding excuses and other places and busy work and anything else that didn’t remind you of the smell of fresh turned earth and the humid heat and sun warmed skin…

“Been a while, Sorella.” His voice catches you off guard. Still low and soft as a summer breeze. The gravel just beneathe is more pronounced than it used to be, but it’s the most beautiful sound in the world as far as you’re concerned.

One hard swallow is hardly enough to clear the decades of desire and regret caught in your throat and threatening to choke you. But it’s all you have before you turn to face him. “… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… to interrupt… I should go.”

But his hand grabs your arm and roots you to the spot. You don’t want to look, too afraid of what you’ll see. Anger, hatred… Lucifer preserve me, indifference. Still his hand holds you firmly.

“Please… look at me.”

And how could you say no? How could you ever say no? Even if it hurts. Especially when it hurts. You turn back and his eyes lock on to yours while the world around you crumbles to dust and the once solid ground falls away while you drop into the pit desperately trying to cling on to him just for a moment. Just for one precious, perfect moment where he might actually be yours. The man that he was, that he is, that he will be. Not the nothing it’s been for so long, too long, so painfully, foolishly, hopelessly long.

“I miss you, mia rosa.” His fingers loosen, sliding down your arm to catch your hand. The sensible part of you is desperate to pull away. You know this pain too well. How it will cut the heart out of you again. Again and again. Like every time before. “Please… please… don’t go. For me.”

“Papa, I…”

“No.” He says firmly. Not angry, just final. “No. Not here. Not from you. Non quando ho aspettato così a lungo che tu tornassi di nuovo qui, amore. Non sono quell'uomo, non per te, non posso esserlo. Preferirei morire.”

There’s a desperation in his eyes you don’t know that you’ve ever seen before and his hand holds on to yours like you might drift away.

“You know my name. You know who I am.”

“Primo... please.”

He’s already closer, so close you have to look up at him. So close you can feel his warmth and smell the lingering scents of the garden clinging to his clothes. His warm, gentle hand cups your cheek and he stares at you until you’re sure he can see right into your soul.

“How long are you going to hide from me? If you won’t stay… tell me how long is my punishment? I need to know. Please. So I can, at least, see an end. Tell me and I will wait, without complaint. But don’t just leave me here. I beg you.”

“Primo…” Decades. Decades upon decades. Still he steals the breath from your lungs and the sense from your head. Just being close is enough to drive you to madness. Every wall you’ve built around yourself to keep yourself safe feels as solid and secure as damp tissue. “The punishment isn’t yours. You know that. You know that. How many times have I told you? I know. I understand. It’s all right. I don’t begrudge you one ounce. But it hurts and it will keep on hurting. It’s no one’s fault… but, Satanas… It hurts until I can’t breathe.”

“Amore…”

“Please… it… it’s never forever, Primo. And I can’t do for now. It’s too late for that. Much too late.” It feels like a betrayal. Like an attack he doesn’t deserve. Just to say it out loud. That the tiny spark of hope that refuses to go out isn’t really enough to sustain you after so long.

For half a second you think he might let go, half a second that drags out into eternity where you are terrified he will let go. It’s one thing to say the words, to insist that it’s what’s best. But your stomach lurches dangerously and your throat tightens painfully at the terror that you might be right. That it really is just… done. And when his fingers slip free of yours, it’s all you can do not to scream until you shatter.

Instead it joins the other, cupping your cheeks tenderly. The warmth of his palms seeping deep into your skin and setting that tiny, dying ember back alight. “Not for now, angelo mio.” He says quietly, gently. His work callused thumb brushes a tear from your cheek. “No more for now. I am done with stolen days. With lost time. No more.”

His lips brush against yours, so softly it’s more like a memory.

“No more puppet pretending to be king. No more smiling court jester.” His brow furrows and his eyes glisten with tears barely contained. “Ho dato loro una vita, amore mio. Non ho mai avuto intenzione di dargli anche il tuo. E sono fauci spalancate e insaziabili. Ma non più. Ho finito. Hanno tutto ciò che otterranno da me. Non permetterò loro di avere anche questo.”

Primo’s forehead presses against yours and you can feel him fighting to control his breathing. Shaking from the effort of holding together. “It can’t be too late. Please. Tell me it’s not too late.”

“Look at me, Primo… really look at me. I’m not a girl anymore. Whoever she was was worn down with time and this is all that’s left. You… you deserve better. More. That girl got old, my love. And there are too many pretty young things here who would make you happy. Give you a son.”

“I am looking at you. You think I am so blind?” He says with a hint of a smile, tracing your bottom lip with his thumb. “It’s not them I want. And I raised three sons already. I don’t need another. What would I do with a baby, amore? I have my children here.” Primo waves to the garden. “They are enough.”

“It’s you I don’t have and you I want. Always you. Only you.”

“Hell’s teeth, you are stubborn as ever.” You huff.

Primo finally smiles, chuckling softly. His arms wrapping you in his warm embrace. “Si, I am. More maybe. You know how old men get.”

Your hand reaches up and cups his cheek as he did yours. Noting all the subtle changes and all the things that are still the same. Drifting along his jaw and around behind his sun baked neck. Letting your fingers run through his hair. Thinner now, more silver than gold, and still like the finest silk. His eyes slide closed and the hum of pleasure that rumbles in his chest still echoes through your soul.

His lips are on yours again. Tentative at first, waiting for you to pull away, and claiming your mouth deeply, desperately, passionately when you don’t. His strong hand cradling the back of your head, holding you steady. You’re vaguely aware of moving and the sound of the greenhouse door. But none of it matters. Nothing else matters outside of his embrace, the taste of his lips, and the familiar press of his body. When you drop into his old chair, the years fall away and you’re curled in his lap once more. Hands buried in his hair. His own hand deftly loosening yours from the bun, letting it spill down your back. Combing his fingers through with a soft moan.

“Amore mio…” He breathes against your lips. His grip on your hair holding you close. “Forgive me. Forgive me, please. Ask of me anything. I will burn the greenhouse. I will tear up the garden. I will give you the world if you ask. Only forgive me.”

“Anything?”

“Si.”

One hand slips from his hair. Tracing the lines of his face, all the victories and defeats, all the loves and heartache, the joys and sorrow mapped out over the face that’s been in every one of your dreams from the first time you laid eyes on him. Staring back into his mismatched eyes that have seen even the darkest coners of your mind and never once flinched away.

“All I want is all I’ve ever wanted.” Your hand finds his and you lace your fingers together. “You.”

A rosy blush blooms across his cheeks and he smiles a little sheepishly, dropping his head. “Sono tuo, dolcezza. Come lo sono sempre stato. Completamente, interamente, irrimediabilmente tuo.”

“I forgive you. I have always forgiven you.” You lift his chin and smile gently.

“Now kiss me, you fool.”

_____________________________________________________________

Sorella = Sister

mia rosa = my rose

Non quando ho aspettato così a lungo che tu tornassi di nuovo qui, amore. Non sono quell'uomo, non per te, non posso esserlo. Preferirei morire. = Not when I've waited so long for you to come back here again, amore. I'm not that man, not for you, I can't be. I'd rather die.

Ho dato loro una vita, amore mio. Non ho mai avuto intenzione di dargli anche il tuo. E sono fauci spalancate e insaziabili. Ma non più. Ho finito. Hanno tutto ciò che otterranno da me. Non permetterò loro di avere anche questo. = I gave them a lifetime, my love. I never intended to give them yours too. And they are gaping and insatiable maw. But not anymore. I finished. They have all they will get from me. I won't let them have this too.

Sono tuo, dolcezza. Come lo sono sempre stato. Completamente, interamente, irrimediabilmente tuo. = I'm yours, sweetness. As I always have been. Completely, entirely, hopelessly yours.

[natswidxw]

The Moment I knew Natasha Romanoff x GN reader

Summary: AU where Reader and Natasha are together and then Nat leaves for Vormir.

Warnings: Massive angst, fluff at the begining and implied smut but then it gets like super freaking sad, Endgame’s compliant.

A/N: Hey everyone, so I wrote this with a fem reader in mind but no pronous are used for Reader. Fic 100% inspired by the song The moment I knew by Miss Taylor Swift. This is my first time writting a fanfiction so I’d love to have some feedback or advice or literally anything constructive. I’m sorry in advance, thank you <3 :)

Word Count: arount 1400

You should've been there Should've burst through the door With that "Baby, I'm right here" smile And it would've felt like A million little shining stars had just aligned And I would've been so happy You were rewatching an episode of Friends when Natasha burst through the door, rambling about some mission she had to go on soon. “Dekta! Where are you? God, so many crazy things happened, so first Scott Lang, Ant Man, I don’t know if you know him but anyway, he is alive, he wasn’t blipped, and he and Tony figured out a way to go back in time to get the stones and bring back everyone!” You hadn’t seen her in a while, especially not this excited and happy, and it honestly made your heart light up with joy. Although to be completely frank you did not quite understand. “Wait what Nat are you even saying right now” you looked at her with a puzzled look trying to piece everything she said together. “It doesn’t matter!” she shrugged you off “The point is we can bring everyone back baby, I’m gonna see Yelena again, you’re gonna see your siblings, we can bring them all back” She said while you launched yourself in her arms as you realized what she was saying. You started planting kisses everywhere on her with your legs around her hips, she kissed you back and laid you back down on the couch of your shared apartment. You were aware that she didn’t get excited about things when there was a chance it might fail. But this time, she was so excited. For the first time in 5 years, she had hope. And it felt like everything was going to be alright, like the world wasn’t collapsing around you anymore. You were getting your old life back with your family, with her family, with all your friends but most importantly, her. She explained the whole mission and said that she had to go soon but wanted to come and tell you about it first. And also have proper goodbyes not over the phone which meant both of you ending up naked in bed. You woke up a few hours later with her shuffling around the room getting ready to leave. “Hey baby I have to be at the compound in 20 minutes for the mission go back to sleep” You got up trying to find your own clothes discarded carelessly on the floor earlier. ”I can sleep later it’s fine” you said the biggest smile you’ve had in the last five years. “But you’re so beautiful when you sleep, and it’s so adorable when you start snoring.” she protested. “Shut up you creep ! I do not snore and you watch me sleep too much it’s scary, I’m awake now anyway so I am going to make you something to eat and then you’ll kiss me goodbye and go” You quickly whipped up something for her to eat on the way while she was putting on her tactical gear and getting ready. “I love you come back in one piece.” you told her with your foreheads pressed together after her lunch. “Don’t worry I got this, I’ll see you in a minute dekta” she replied confidently before walking through the door while flashing you her signature smirk. Christmas lights glisten I've got my eye on the door Just waiting for you to walk in But the time is ticking People ask me how I've been As I comb back through my memory How you said you'd be here You said you'd be here A few hours later, not hearing from her you decided to go to the compound yourself. “Anyone there ?” No answer. You look around for a while before seeing Tony, Steve, Bruce, Thor, and Clint outside by the lake. You start making your way to them when you hear Tony. “Do we know if she had family?” “Yeah, us and Y/N” you hear Steve reply and then Thor asking Tony what he’s doing. “Why are we acting like she’s dead, we have the stones right, as long as we have the stones Cap, we can bring her back. Isn’t that right? So, stop this shit, will you?? We’re the Avengers. Get it together” And it was like slow motion. Standing there in my party dress and red lipstick. With no one to impress And they’re all laughing As I’m looking around the room But there was once thing missing And that was the moment I knew. “We can’t get her back” you heard Clint say faintly as your mind is going

blank. Your head is spinning, you’re dizzy, and you freeze. “What?” That’s when they notice you. They all turn around and look at you. Your vision gets blurry and you ask quietly “Where is Nat ?” Steve looks at you with all the pity in the world as he makes his way towards you. “I’m so sorry Y/N, I’m so sorry” he says but you don’t understand. “Why are you sorry where is she?” you ask louder, starting to be annoyed. “Y/N…” “This can’t be happening she said she’d be here” you say with tears streaming down your face. You feel Steve trying to ease your pain by rubbing your back but at this point you couldn’t care less about Steve and you yanked his hand away. “This can’t be happening, she wouldn’t do that, she wouldn’t leave me all alone, she told me not to worry that she had this, she said she’d be there in a minute, this is not true.” you state matter-of-factly. “It can’t be undone, or that’s at least what the red floating guy had to say, maybe you guys want to go talk to him !” Clint yells at the other Avengers. “It was supposed to be me, she sacrificed her life for that goddamn stone, she put her life on it” he says looking at you apologetically. Bruce then reaches for a bench that he throws in the lake. “This is bullshit. If y’all can’t fucking bring her back, I’ll find a way. She can’t be dead. I’m not letting her go. It’s not okay” “Y/N, please you heard Clint there’s nothing we can do, it can’t be undone” you hear Steve try to reason with you which makes you snap at him. “How the fuck does he know that? How the fuck do any of you know that? How the fuck do you guys except me to accept that the love of my life is never coming back when she told me she’d be there in a minute? How do we know if she’s even dead for sure or if she’s not in pain somewhere dying because we aren’t doing anything to help her? All because he” you say pointing your finger accusatively at Clint “didn’t do anything to save her. I don’t see a body so no she’s not dead she can’t be, she can’t be” you repeat, sounding completely crazy, ignoring every logical and rational thought going through your mind, not even crying anymore just rocking yourself back and forth with your palms pressed against your temples. And the hours pass by Now I just wanna be alone But your close friends always seem to know When there's something really wrong So they follow me down the hall And there in the bathroom I try not to fall apart And the sinking feeling starts As I say hopelessly "He said he'd be here" Stubborn as ever, you get up and walk towards the time portal, switching every switch, touching every buttons, trying understand how to make the damn thing open, hoping to see her walk through it when Tony grabs your shoulder. “Y/N I know this is impossible for you to admit right now and if you want a body we’ll do whatever we can to bring you one, I promise you, this but she’s dead, Natasha is gone and she’s not coming back” he reasons with you. And it was like slow motion Standing there in my party dress In red lipstick With no one to impress And they're all laughing And asking me about you But there was one thing missing And that was the moment I knew And that’s when it hits you. All the thousands of emotions you’ve been blocking out since you heard Clint. And you collapse on the floor, curling up in a ball with your head on your knees, sobbing and shaking, rocking back and forth. “This can’t be happening, she said she’d be here” you say hopelessly…

[sarcastically-defensive17]

Probably you have some request, but I was wondering if you could write a Calum x Reader based on The Moment I Knew where even the guys send her a happy birthday message but Calum was radio silence (If you're interested in it not ending with angst maybe a second part based in The Last Time haha, lol)

The Moment I Knew - C. Hood

Okay so, I had never heard this song before and now I’ve played it on repeat. Your girl lives to write angst so I may have gone a bit too far but I hope you like it!!

I will have a part two done soon! Send me a message so I can tag you in it, if you like!

Thank you for the request, lovie! 💕

Original story by sarcastically-defensive17

Her 24th birthday should have been a day she spent surrounded by her dear friends and her boyfriend.

Her friends were waiting at Luke and Sierra’s house for their guest it honor who would arrive with Calum.

She should have spent it with a smile stretching her cherry tinted lips, not droplets smearing her perfectly done mascara.

It should have ended in a night of passion, not heartbreak.

It should have been a lot of things, but Calum couldn’t even remember a single day to spend with the woman he claimed to love so much. And Y/N couldn’t sit back and deal with his ignorance and inability to be there for his girl.

You should've been there. Should've burst through the door with that "Baby, I'm right here" smile.

She woke that morning to messages from everybody. Everybody but Calum.

Sierra and Luke has stopped by to wish her a happy birthday, and give her flowers and a dress that Sierra had picked out for the party that night.

Crystal and Michael called to apologize for not stopping by but to wish her a happy birthday and make lunch plans for the following day with promises to see her that night.

Ashton and KayKay took her out for breakfast, something which Calum was meant to attend but she received no reply from him. Her friends tried their hardest to take her mind off of the missing person at their table. They also had promised that Calum would most likely see her later that night.

And it would've felt like a million little shining stars had just aligned. And I would've been so happy.

She didn’t want to pull it, but this was the last straw. In their over year long relationship, he started to slack after their anniversary.

He showed up late for their anniversary dinner, barely replied to her messages, even when he was at home, spent more time out with the guys than paying any mind to Y/N. She thought the last straw was when they had made big plans to spend the day together on Christmas Eve. Her favourite holiday.

Christmas lights glisten, I've got my eye on the door, just waiting for you to walk in.

He didn’t show until late that night. He simply left his present for her sitting under her tree and crawled into bed with her sleeping form.

Still, she pushed aside her feelings of abandonment, for she loved the kiwi man too much.

But this was the most she could take.

The minutes ticked by, and she sat on her lounge, lips stained red, black dress accentuating every part of her body that she felt confident in. Heels slipped onto her feet, that made her walk away more than usual.

She felt like a million bucks when she had gotten ready. Now, she felt like the booby prize.

After all, she must be if Calum couldn’t spare a few hours to attend the party Sierra had planned for her special day.

He was radio silence all day. Not a single message. Not even a quick gif of a cat wearing a party hat like Mali-Koa had sent her, although the elder hood had also sent her a long paragraph about how much she adores her and how happy she makes Calum.

If only Calum made her feel like she made him happy. Or that he even wanted her around.

They were now 45 minutes past the time Calum had promised to be there.

She was fuming.

But the time is ticking. People ask me how I've been, as I comb back through my memory, how you said you'd be here.

She can’t quite determine the amount of times that Calum has stood her up. She understands that his music is important to him, but he tells her she is important to him as well. How?

How can he be so sure that she is important to him, when he has left her sitting alone on her birthday. Her birthday.

You said you'd be here

Enough was enough. She stood up from her lounge, straightening her dress out and checking her makeup in the mirror. If Calum wasn’t going to take her to enjoy her birthday, then she would do it herself.

She typed a quick message to Calum before she threw her phone on the abandoned lounge, snatching her keys from a hook and slamming the door closed behind her.

And it was like slow motion. Standing there in my party dress, in red lipstick, with no one to impress.

“You said you’d be here. Don’t bother showing up tonight. Happy birthday to me, right?”

And they're all laughing as I'm looking around the room. But there was one thing missing, and that was the moment I knew.

She had been at the party for hours, and all she wanted was to go home and drown her sadness in ice cream and flood her pillow with tears. Namely, the pillow that trapped Calum’s scent like a butterfly net.

It was hard to be with her friends, because, even though she was introduced to them as Calum’s friends, each of them became something special to her, and they all grew closer over the time.

Especially Luke and Sierra.

Tears threatened to spill from her eyes as she struggled to settle in the atmosphere without him. For a minute she thought whether he would have come to her if she called him but given the three and a half hours that had passed since her message, she knew he had something better to do.

Or somebody better to be with.

The tears started to fall and her hands started to shake. She had always struggled with abandonment issues, but this experience felt new.

She couldn’t handle it anymore. She couldn’t be with Calum anymore.

And the hours pass by. Now I just wanna be alone but your close friends always seem to know when there's something really wrong.

She trudged down the hall, tears blurring her vision as she forced her way into the bathroom of the house.

Heeled shoes echoed behind her and Sierra’s dark head of hair flooded her gaze as the woman’s arms wrapped around her, letting her sob into her shoulder.

Y/N tries to stop the tears, but the pain is so overwhelming.

Her birthday, the one day in the entire year that she requested her boyfriend to be there for her with no exceptions, he let her down.

Again. Lately, he only let her down.

She couldn’t handle it anymore. She couldn’t handle being second best. No, third best.

Not even that.

So they follow me down the hall, and there in the bathroom, I try not to fall apart and the sinking feeling starts.

She lowers herself to the ground, her legs no longer supporting her. Sierra crouches with her, still holding her friend through her breakdown.

She knew Y/N struggled with abandonment, as she had gotten the closest to the girl, but she never imagined Calum could be the one to make her feel this way.

“It’s okay, breathe babe. Breathe,” Sierra cooed, stroking the woman’s perfectly done hair. She looked stunning, and that made Sierra’s heart ache more. “I’m sorry he did this, I’m so sorry.”

Y/N sniffed, trying to will her tears to stop. Mascara was most likely smudged on her face, and on the shoulder of Sierra’s royal blue blouse, but she couldn’t contain the emotion that had been building all day.

For months even.

For three months, Calum hadn’t been there for her. If not for the random mornings she would wake up with him by her side, or the fleeting messages of open promises, it was as if she was single.

She might as well be.

“He said he would be here,” she sobbed, her voice sounding more broken than anything Sierra had heard before.

“I know, honey, I know.”

As I say hopelessly, "He said he'd be here"

“Do you wanna tell everybody to head home? You and I can veg out and watch some movies, if you like?” Sierra proposed, rubbing the arms of her friend whose tears had halted.

Y/N shook her head with a small smile on her face, “It’s okay Si. Let’s just enjoy ourselves, yeah? No more tears, I promise.”

What do you say, when tears are streaming down your face in front of everyone you know?

Y/N felt embarrassed to have broken down in such a way in front of her friends. She had always tried to be the tough one, even cracking a smile that very morning when Ashton asked about her absent boyfriend.

But she had hit her limit.

And what do you do when the one who means the most to you is the one who didn't show?

The room was full of so many people, every one of her friends, her siblings, even her parents and some family had made the trip to see her for her birthday. Everybody but Calum.

Almost everybody she loved and held fear was there to witness her standing in her party dress and her red lipstick. Her fixed mascara and now clean face. With her best friend holding her hand and a chocolate cake placed in front of her.

The lit number “24” stared back at her as she tried to ignore the missing piece to the puzzle that was the night.

Their voices faded to the background as they all sung to her, watching as she blew out the candles with one thing on her mind.

‘I wish you were here’

And they're all standing around me singing "Happy birthday to you". But there was one thing missing.

Y/N now knew, she couldn’t be with Calum anymore.

And that was the moment I knew.

Calum had this overwhelming feeling that he was forgetting something. He couldn’t place his finger on it, but he knew it was something important.

His fingers plucked the strings of his bass, and his mind ran through the lyrics to a song they were working on for their newest album.

The album has been taking up most of his free thought, for he was determined to get some of the songs just right for when it drops.

His heart dropped when he checked his phone, a message from Y/N that had been sent four hours before.

Guilt boiled in his stomach and he was grabbing his keys, slipping his shoes on and rushing out the door without a second thought.

“You said you’d be here. Don’t bother showing up tonight. Happy birthday to me, right?”

He could feel the malicious intent in the message, and he deserved it. This was the seventh time he had stood her up, and he knew that she had every right to be mad at him.

Even if she told him not to, he was on his way to Luke’s house to apologize to her. He just thanked god that he had already put her present in his car.

He sent a message to his best friend asking if his girl was still there.

Luke replied with a simple and snappy “she left. She doesn’t want to see you.”

He sighed, resting his head against his steering wheel as he dialed the number accompanied by a heart.

Y/N would be alright, he knew it. She would answer the phone, apologize, and tell her he loves her. She would return the sentiment, and all would be well.

Wouldn’t it?

You called me later, and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't make it".

Y/N saw the name show up on her phone as the sound of Calum’s voice floods her dark bedroom.

She made true of her promise to go home, drown her feelings in ice cream and soak her pillow with tears. She just wished that her ringtone for Calum wasn’t his angelic voice singing “If you don’t know.”

She hit the answer button and switched it onto loud speaker so she didn’t need to love from her positioned curled up in the middle of her bed.

“Hey baby, sorry I didn’t make it. Lost track of time writing. I love you so much, happy birthday angel,” his voice transferred through the receiver and she couldn’t bring herself to find an answer other than what is on her mind.

And I said, "I'm sorry too".

“I’m sorry too, Calum,” she answered, feeling her words catch in her throat.

“For what, baby?” He chuckled, brushing off the serious tone of her voice.

She steered her nerves, sitting up and the sound of crinkling sheets temporarily flooded Calum’s ears.

She let out a deep breath, letting the tears fall as she spoke. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t always be a second thought, especially when it’s my birthday and I’m sitting at our friends house crying my eyes out because you couldn’t give me enough respect to tell me you won’t be there for me.”

“Y/N, I’m so sorry-“

“So am I, Cal. I can’t be with you anymore. Goodbye.”

And that was the moment I knew.

[peachyzens]

love letters (three)

love letters (three)

masterlist: previous | next

genre: fluff, angst summary: “No matter where you are, you’ll always be my shining star.” Crushes were unconventional, especially the one you had on Kim Mingyu. (1,981 words) a/n: this part probably took me the longest to write for how much of a filler chapter it is but…i hope you enjoy ;)

It was a natural phenomenon, the solar eclipse. Mingyu was actually looking forward to this, the experience of seeing a phenomenon that happens probably only a few times in your lifetime. So, when the teacher announced that the whole school was having a special event to celebrate this occurrence, you didn’t miss the way his face lit up. Nobody else probably noticed, but you always took notice of the little things.

To say you didn’t teach yourself about some of these astronomical happenings would be a lie, considering you stayed up one night just reading article after article. You could understand why Mingyu was so dedicated to this topic, it was really interesting. Interesting enough that you now found yourself taking more time to look up at the stars or read about upcoming phenomenons.

The day of the solar eclipse, the whole school found themselves out on the field, disregarding the warnings to not look straight up at the sun. The index cards given to see the solar eclipse were turned into paper planes by many, except for the few that were actually interested. Jennie and Rachel’s talking went past your ears, as you stared at the ground with your two index cards, eyebrows furrowing when you couldn’t figure it out. With a frustrated sigh, you put your arms down and looked up, only to see Mingyu looking at you with a smile. You nervously looked around, hoping to see his girlfriend behind you or something, which would explain Mingyu’s smile in your direction. But when you noticed nobody behind you and Mingyu approaching, you thought your heart stopped for a minute.

Just the way he walked over was enough to gather some attention, from the way Jennie and Rachel’s conversation paused. You couldn’t look at him, you were afraid of getting too overwhelmed by your feelings again from seeing him up close. You thought you were over him after seeing how he would never be yours, pushing him out of your mind as often as possible. But seeing him get closer and closer, you knew it was completely impossible to get him out of your mind, that was just Kim Mingyu’s impact.

“This is how you do it,” he spoke up to you. You couldn’t help but look up at the boy in front of you, fighting the blush that dared to rise on your cheeks. Your eyes quickly looked over to his hands, to take in the way they held the cards to get the effect of the solar eclipse. With shaky hands, you copied, yet it never seemed to work out. “Here, let me help you,” Mingyu spoke up with another one of his charming smiles, hands reaching over to help yours. You felt as if you were shocked by electricity when his hands lightly gripped yours, readjusting them to have the proper placement. Before you were about to faint from the beating of your heart, he pulled his hands away. “Do you see it?” he asked, voice similar to that of a little boy sharing his toy with you.

Looking down at your cards, you noticed how the pinhole resembled the shape of the partly covered sun now that you had your cards aligned properly. “Woah,” you muttered absentmindedly, Mingyu escaping your mind for a quick second as you stared in awe at the natural phenomenon.

“It’s cool, isn’t it? It’s almost-“ Mingyu spoke up again, bringing you back to reality, remembering that the boy you’ve crushed on for quite awhile was still standing beside you. However, the said boy was being dragged away by his teammates before he could even finish his sentence. For a second, you were relieved that his teammates were able to relieve you of your pounding heart, but you couldn’t say that you weren’t disappointed at having a longer moment with Mingyu. But when Jennie and Rachel suddenly came over and were gushing to you about how gentlemanly Mingyu was, you remembered that you were just one of many. Your eyes found Mingyu again, with another group of students who he helped arranged their cards, the same way he helped you. And you were back to your reality, the reality of being nothing more than a fellow peer.

That night, you found your feet dragging you to the park, the same spot you coincidentally met Mingyu that one night. A part of you hoped he would be there again, your selfish instincts kicking in. You wanted to think that you were special to him in a way, a secret way. But when you found yourself alone in the park, you remembered where you stood. Walking to the empty playground in the center, you found yourself climbing up the steps to be closer to the stars. (Although you could never be closer to the stars, as they were millions of miles away.)

Staring at the dark, sparkling sky, you let out a content sigh as you laid your head on your hands. It was something you regretted before, not appreciating the beauty of the stars. There was just something so enticing about the sparkles in the dark abyss of a sky; it seemed so close yet so far. You were so enthralled in admiring the beauty of the night sky, that you didn’t hear someone approaching until their feet stepped on a patch of crunchy leaves. You shot up immediately, slightly afraid yet hopeful. You turned towards the source, finding a familiar face.

“Oh, hi,” Wonwoo let out, slightly surprised yet shocked at your appearance.

“Hey Wonwoo, what brings you out here at this time?” You asked, a slight smile on your face.

“I was just running some errands for my parents, but I should be asking you the same thing,” he spoke with a teasing grin, stepping closer to the playground. “Mind if I sit?”

“No, not at all! And I don’t really know why I’m out here, I just wanted some air I guess,” you shrugged, patting the spot next to you for him to sit down.

“Is this where you escape to? Whenever you feel trapped, I mean,” he spoke in a quieter tone, pulling his legs to his chest.

“Yeah, I guess. I like looking at the stars, I never paid attention to them before but now that I am, it’s really beautiful. I mean, I even did research on them, and it’s just crazy that from here, they seem so tiny yet they are crazy huge, like our sun isn’t even considered a big star.” You rambled without realizing it, as your eyes remained glued to the sky as you copied Wonwoo’s position. What you didn’t notice during your ramble was Wonwoo’s eyes on you, admiring how your entire presence lit up when speaking about the stars.

“You know, you should talk to Mingyu about this stuff; he loves astronomy.” Wonwoo brought up after your ramble. You shyly looked down, knowing very well that he is knowledgeable about the stars.

“I don’t know, I mean, he’s like a star himself. Seems so close, but is actually really far,” you spoke your thoughts aloud, voice trailing off at the end.

“Woah, don’t tell me your one of his fans too?” Wonwoo joked, lightly elbowing you with a teasing grin. Then, it hit you that you said your thoughts aloud.

“Wait, what? N-no I’m not! What makes you think that?” You blushed, covering your face with one hand as the other one blindly pushed Wonwoo away. You groaned as he let out a laugh, knowing you were caught. “Guess I slipped huh?”

Seeing your embarrassed state, Wonwoo retreated his teasing facade, resorting to a more comforting pat on your back. “It’s fine, if anything, I would be more surprised if you didn’t have a crush on him.”

“You’re just trying to make me feel better,” you groaned again, wanting nothing more than to crawl in a ball and roll away. Your own best friends didn’t even know about your crush on Mingyu, and here was Wonwoo, your “fake” crush that now knows about your real crush.

“Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.” He reassured you. “If it makes you feel better, I guess I have a crush on him too?” He spoke again, with hesitation in his voice. This caused you to look over at him, suspicion written all over your face. But when you saw his red ears and sheepish smile, you pieced it all together.

“Pinky promise me you won’t tell anyone?” You held your pinky up. With a slight roll of his eyes, he linked your pinkies together.

“Swear you won’t tell anybody about me either?” He held on to your pinky with an uneasy look on his face.

“Of course! Your secret is safe with me as long as mine is safe with you, an eye for an eye,” you smiled cheekily, which Wonwoo soon copied after.

“As much as I would like to gush with you even more about our crushes, I think it’s getting late, considering we also have school tomorrow.” You checked your phone, seeing that the time approach ten o’clock at night. Your jaw dropped, thinking about how your parents must be freaking out, probably already filing a missing persons report for you. “And by your expression, I’m guessing that you need to be home, let me walk you, just to be safe.”

You nodded without paying much attention to his words, the both of you shooting up to your feet and heading in the direction of your home in a fast pace. It was a situation you never thought you would find yourself in, your fake crush walking you home, the both of you holding each other’s deepest secrets.

The next day, your feet dragged down the halls. After an earful from your parents about your curfew, you stayed up thinking about the happenings of the night before. The situation you found yourself in was surprising, but definitely not bad. Wonwoo gave his number to you while on your walk home, and you both found yourself in a friendly conversation during the night. He was a different outlet to speak to, you were able to speak to him about things you couldn’t tell Jennie and Rachel without being afraid.

You walked with Jennie and Rachel on both sides of you, both of them engaged in a deep conversation with you stuck in the middle. You remained silent for the most part, occasionally butting in whenever you felt necessary. Mingyu’s squad was also walking down the hallway, going the opposite way. You tried to not let your eyes linger on Mingyu, slightly failing when you quickly looked straight ahead, meeting eyes with Wonwoo. He looked at you with a teasing smile, mouthing the word “caught” that you glared at him for. Although you were glaring at him, the corners of your lips were upturned in a friendly smile.

“Do you agree?” Rachel asked you suddenly, nudging your arm.

“Huh? Yeah, sure, wait, what did you say?” You agreed absentmindedly, their conversation tuned out by the mere presence of Mingyu. Rachel rolled her eyes, reiterating her stance on global warming to you. “Yeah, it’s really bad, we do need to take action. I’ll split up with you guys here, I need to stop by the library real quick.” You responded, waving and hugging them goodbye like you always do.

Once the halls were quiet and everybody was on their way home, you stepped out of the library after killing time by stifling through random books. With a look both ways, you confirmed the abandoned hallways as you sneakily walk towards your destination. With a slight smile on your face, you glanced at the neatly folded and sealed letter before slipping it through the cracks of Mingyu’s locker.

Kim Mingyu, no matter where you are, you’ll always be my shining star.

[xxmaddestwoman]

A Letter to Red:

5 days left until Red (Taylor’s version) releases and it’s really got me feeling some type of way…

I remember the original Red release like it was yesterday. This album got me through some extremely hard and treacherous times in my life, it truly gave me hope and a reason to keep going. Then again, Red was also there during some of the best times too… you know, those magical moments where you’re can’t stop smiling, blushing, laughing, dancing, just living life to its fullest. This album was my world and no one could take that from me.

The Red tour was the first time I was fortunate enough to see Taylor live and it was almost a disaster! My friend bailed last minute, literally right before we were supposed to leave. I was devastated, crying inconsolably that I was going to miss my first Taylor Swift concert. Thankfully, a friend was able to drop everything to go with me and everything felt okay again. What a rollercoaster of a start! Ed Sheeran was an opener for the concert and I had to explain to my friend who he was… what a crazy thought to not know who he is, but he was still pretty new around that time. The entire concert was like nothing I had ever experienced before, the performance was magical. Pretty sure I was just lost in a daydream for months after, wishing I could experience that feeling over and over again. A core memory for sure.

Fast forward to now, Red is re-recorded and releasing with even more songs. 9 years ago, I would have never believed you if you told me this would happen… like, ever! When it was announced, it felt like a million little shining stars had just aligned. Since Red originally released, there has been a lot of ups and downs, rough and unexpected times, especially as of lately… it’s been so casually cruel for many of us, not only me. Thanks to some loser who isn’t important enough to be named, Red is back for us. Red is here to give us that push back up, no matter how devastating that heartbreak or loss was. Red said let’s keep going, we got this and we can be stronger than we ever were before. For that, I am so thankful to be able to see this album come full circle to save me again, really to save whoever needs it again… I guess we need to make it through the 10 minute version of All Too Well first, then we can dry our tears and begin again.

I love you Red, see you soon.

& thank you @taylorswift , love you more.

Forever & Always ❤️

[that-curly-haired-lesbian]

Queer Analysis - The Moment I Knew

Hi gang! Boy, have I had a CRAZY (lowkey traumatizing) couple of days…I finally had a second to take a breath and this time my computer graciously decided to cooperate too, so here it is: The Moment I Knew: Queer Edition.

Since I was asked to analyze this song it has come to my attention that there’s no way it could be about Dianna (which I originally thought) since they met in September 2011 and Red came out on October 22nd, 2012 before they would’ve ever had time to temporarily break up causing Di to miss Taylor’s birthday. (x) 

The only option would be Taylor’s 2011 birthday at which point I feel they would’ve been too new of a couple to inspire the song in question…Well, where does this leave us when looking at the song from a queer point of view?

My only conclusion is that it would have to be about a girl Taylor was involved with after Emily, but before Dianna. In other words during the years we don’t know much about dating-wise.

First off, Taylor has said the song is about her 21st birthday party which was “the worst experience ever” (x)

Her 21st birthday would’ve been in 2010, thus confirming the song can’t be about any of her known girlfriends (Emily, Dianna or Karlie) making this analysis a bit of a challenge, but I decided to give it a shot anyway. After all the purpose of analyses aren’t primarily to tell you which woman Taylor’s songs are about, but rather to look at her songs from a generally queer perspective and question the heteronormativity they appear to present at first glance…This is undoubtedly going to be quite a reach, but I’m going to try and argue that this song is about a failed attempt at coming out, not publicly, but perhaps to family and friends.

Shoutout to my bestest of friends @makeroomforlaferry who helped me realize this is a possible interpretation.

I just want to say before we start that I am in no way shaming people who do not have the courage to come out (especially publicly) that is scary business and no one should come out before they are ready or in any way be forced out of the closet, not by a partner or anyone else.

Also keep in mind that this is probably a HUGE reach and I’m not saying my theory is correct, it’s just a way to look at the song from a queer point of view that I feel makes sense.

Lyrics cred to AZLyrics as usual!

With that said, let’s take a look.

--

You should've been there,                                                                                  

Should've burst through the door,

With that 'baby I'm right here' smile,

And it would've felt like,

A million little shining stars had just aligned,

And I would've been so happy.

--

So in this first verse Taylor is lamenting the fact that her partner promised to come to her birthday party, but then they failed to show up. Taylor’s saying she would’ve been very happy had her lover just been there.  How about the queer angle? What if there’s more to it, what if the couple had planned to come out at this party only for one of them to back out last second?

To me it sounds like a “baby I’m right here-smile” could be interoperated as a supportive smile, or as a small, reassuring way of letting Taylor know that her partner is there for her, in the impending, scary situation. The stars aligning alluding to Taylor being able to be brave and strong and get the words out since she knows her partner is there to back her up in what she’s about to say, making it easier and just generally a more positive (happy) experience.

--

Christmas lights glisten,

I've got my eye on the door,

Just waiting for you to walk in,

But the time is ticking,

People ask me how I've been

As I comb back through my memory,

How you said you'd be here,

You said you'd be here.

--

The Christmas lights indicate that this is in fact taking place at Taylor’s birthday party (her birthday is December 13th, so Christmas lights would most likely be up at that point in most households where Christmas is celebrated.)

The verse is pretty straight (gay) forward to me from this perspective, Taylor can’t focus on the party or the people she’s invited since she keeps glancing at the door, hoping her girlfriend will arrive so that they can do what they had planned and then hopefully enjoy the rest of the party with everyone present now being aware that they are an item. As Taylor absentmindedly makes small talk with her guests all she can think about is that tonight is the night and that her girl promised they’d do this together, she’s recalling pieces of their conversation where this was decided and clearly remembers her girlfriend saying she’d be at the party.  

--

And it was like slow motion,

Standing there in my party dress,

In red lipstick,

With no one to impress

--

Taylor has now started to truly realize her date isn’t making an appearance and while from a heteronormative or literal standpoint the talk of clothes would appear as her being disappointed that the partner isn’t there to see how hot she looks, I also think there could be something more complex in the line.

I think it could also be a metaphor for getting all “dressed up” and ready, steeling yourself for the moment when you’re going to tell everyone around you who you truly are and come out of the closet. Now that the girlfriend won’t be there Taylor has done all of that preparation and psyched herself up to be brave enough to do this for nothing. There she stands, all ready to do the thing and say the words in the presence of everyone she cares about…

And they're all laughing,

As I'm looking around the room,

But there's one thing missing,

And that was the moment I knew.

--

Everyone else are having fun and enjoying the party, perhaps not even noticing how obviously distracted poor Taylor is. Like a deer in headlights she’s trying her very hardest to spot her girlfriend in the crowded room, perhaps she just missed when she walked through the door after all? Then it sinks in, the last and most important piece of the puzzle is nowhere to be found, no matter how ready Taylor is to do this, her girlfriend just isn’t and has decided the best way to handle the situation is to just not be there for it. Taylor now knows, she’s realized that she’ll have to break up with the girl as she clearly isn’t as ready as Taylor is to be open about their relationship to the people in their lives that matter. 😞

--

And the hours pass by,

Now I just wanna be alone,

But your close friends always seem to know

When there's something really wrong,

So they follow me down the hall

--

The party has been going for hours and now that Taylor has realized the most important part of her night won’t actually take place she’d just prefer for the party to end, but her friends have finally noticed that something isn’t quite right and when Taylor slips away to cry it out in the bathroom they all follow.

--

And there in the bathroom,

I try not to fall apart,

And the sinking feeling starts,

As I say hopelessly,

"He said he'd be here."

--

Only Taylor doesn’t want to tell them what’s wrong, because now that her support hasn’t showed up all the courage she spent hours/days/weeks beforehand gathering has just left her and she tries very hard to act as if whatever is wrong doesn’t matter. She’s suddenly scared (sinking feeling) of outing herself.

(Story time: I literally did this to my mom once, I was about to tell her I’m gay, but then last second after already saying “mom I have to tell you something” I chickened out and just went “nevermind!” and rushed out of the room, it was terrifying and I’d describe the ensuing feeling as quite sinking as I suddenly became deadly afraid to tell her and couldn’t get the damn words out for the life of me.)

 Instead of rushing out though (since she’s trapped in the bathroom) Taylor decides to pretend she has a boyfriend who flaked on her. (also the heteronormative way to look at the song.) Or perhaps these  are friends who actually know what’s going on (they are her closest friends after all so maybe they know all about her gayness?) and she hopelessly tells them the girlfriend didn’t show up on this big night when they were finally planning to tell everyone. Of course she calls the girl “he” in the song though, because #NoHomo and stuff…

--

(Chorus)

--

And they're all laughing,

And asking me about you,

But there was one thing missing,

And that was the moment I knew.

--

The reason I think she might’ve lied though and told them it was a boy is because then the friends start laughing an asking Taylor about the boy they’ve never heard about til now, they’re curious about who he might be. If they already knew the girlfriend and also knew her and Taylor were planning to come out that night why would they start laughing and asking (what I presume is) lighthearted questions about the partner they already knew?

Once again Taylor realizes that if her girlfriend isn’t actually ready to come out and has truly decided not to come they’ll have to break up.

--

What do you say

When tears are streaming down your face

In front of everyone you know?

And what do you do when the one

Who means the most to you

Is the one who didn't show?

--

Taylor’s now out of the bathroom (but sadly not the closet) but the tears won’t stop coming and since she’s now afraid of coming out she has no explanation for being so upset to give the rest of the probably very confused and alarmed guests. She can’t tell them the truth as she didn’t plan on coming out alone and she needs the extra support and her girlfriend’s hand to hold in order to do it and she doesn’t want to repeat the white lie about the boyfriend to everyone and deal with a million more questions…The planned come out was probably the only reason she threw this huge party and invited everyone, but the one who REALLY needed to be there for this to work (or “the one who means the most”) isn’t. Now what is she supposed to do?

--

You should've been here.

And I would've been so happy.

--

Had the girl just shown up Taylor would probably be feeling happy and relieved right about now as she’d just come out and told everyone she was in love, instead she’s just upset at her own birthday party… 💔💔

--

(Chorus)

--

And they're all standing around me singing

"Happy birthday to you",

But there was one thing missing,

And that was the moment I knew.

Ooh, I knew.

Ooh,

 --

Despite Taylor being visibly upset and most people having no idea what’s so terribly wrong with the birthday girl the guests still try to take her mind off whatever it is by reminding her it’s her birthday and she should be happy…Sadly it isn’t quite that easy. Why? Because Taylor now knows she’ll have to end things with her partner no matter how much she likes her, they’re just not on the same page in their coming out journey.

--

You called me later,

And said, "I'm sorry, I didn't make it,"

And I said, "I'm sorry too,"

And that was the moment I knew.

--

The flake had the decency to call after the party and apologize for leaving Taylor hanging, Taylor apologized too, for breaking the girl’s heart, but that’s what she knew she had to do.

…Or you know, it isn’t that deep and the song could literally just be about an asshole of an ex-girlfriend who didn’t show up to Taylor���s birthday party despite promising to, thus prompting Taylor to realize they’d have to break up since this wasn’t the first time the girl broke a promise that meant a lot to Taylor.  After all most of the song is gender-neutral so it COULD just be that simple  😊

--

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed despite this being a real reach. Tomorrow’s (yes, really, it WILL be up on time this time, i SWEAR!) analysis is Hey Stephen! If you want me to look at any other of Tay’s songs from a gay point of view let me know! 😊

[b-rainrot]

Nanny/Household Manager needed for 1-year-old baby in Edina (Edina)

As I write this, the countertop installation team is here fixing a little alignment issue they made with our dishwasher. I wish you had booked them and had gotten the dishes done before they came so my husband and I could have spent more time playing with our baby and going through a business training together. :)             We can’t wait to have you shine in what you do best and run our household so we can do what we do best and be a loving family and run a successful business.             We are definitely the coolest family ever and we live in Edina. We had a family friend temporarily in this position, and now we want you to keep our ship running smoothly.             I run my own company and work from home, and my husband works for me, so we are here literally all the time. We are hilarious, we tell fart jokes, and we both talk on the phone pretty often for my business and do a lot of pep talks and picker-uppers. You have to be super cool with that. Negative attitude-havers need not apply. If you describe yourself as optimistic, helpful, resourceful, kind, feminist, fun—we are on the right track.             I am a former San Francisco fashion blogger, first page of Google, and I care a lot about what my house looks like because home is The Most Important to me for a million reasons. So if you are the type that “just doesn’t notice” that you left crumbs on the table, thank u next. If you are going to judge me because I like to wear the occasional high fashion item, you’re on the wrong post.             If you are going to call my daughter a “princess” or make comments about how to “act like a lady,” BYE. This is not the job for you. If you are going to criticize her for being bossy, move on to a different post. If you are going to lament her wardrobe for its lack of pink, you should find somewhere else to apply. We have an “All are Welcome Here” sign in our yard. My daughter’s middle name is after a female presidential hopeful for 2020. She will never be told to hug someone unless she wants to. We will never buy red baseball caps. Are you picking up what I’m putting down? Fantastic!             I nannied all through high school and college and am still close with all my nanny families. So I have a lot of opinions, backed by research, on how to optimize my daughter’s development, and I know what it’s like to be a nanny. There is no shaming in our household. We do not cry it out. You can’t spoil a baby. We are not religious and ask you leave that to your personal time. Are you up for being The Best Nanny Ever that my daughter is going to remember always and forever and have adorable nicknames for you? My nanny kids called me RaRa. I still call hand sanitizer “hand sanimatizer” thanks to L at age 2.5, and we say we’re “going to the other side to see a cat” thanks to S at age 3.5. If you’re not looking for a lifetime relationship and view this as just a buck, not for you.             We are not fantastic cooks, but you are! Meal prep is fun for you and you’re excited to help take care of us. Also, I have celiac disease, so you can’t bring gluten into the house. If you don’t know what gluten is and you’re not resourceful enough to google it right now, this is not the job for you. I’m vegetarian. If you think that’s weird, we are definitely not the right family for you.             This position is all about owning the role and going above and beyond. The whole family does this. Our baby just hit 12 months and already says 13 words. We are 99% certain she just added another to the roster today; we will see if she still uses it again tomorrow. WE ARE SO PROUD!!! My husband and I go above and beyond with my business. You are the kind of person who rises to the challenge, gets the job done, and also helpfully points out how it can go even smoother the next time. And you notice that those T-shirts are wearing out when you do laundry, so you queue up an order for more…not because you were asked to, but because you are The Ship Runner.             Have you seen Sex and the City? I am looking for the Magda to my Miranda, minus the judgement. Basically, you have to help run the show, and love doing it.             No smoking of any kind. I have asthma so it’s not cool to bring that around, plus I’d like you to live a full life, so please quit, but still don’t apply. If you’re going to show up hungover, not for you. If you talk on the phone while you’re driving and don’t use Bluetooth or if you text at ALL while driving, ever, stop it, because you’re operating heavy machinery and you could kill yourself or someone else, but also, don’t even think of applying. I have never gotten a ticket, I don’t speed, I signal my turns 100 feet ahead, I come to a complete stop. If that bugs you, move on. If you’re going to do anything but that with my daughter in the vehicle, don’t apply, period.             If you think it’s cute to toss babies in the air, omg NOPE. If you have a temper; if your blood pressure goes up when a baby cries; if you think it’s funny to joke about hurting babies, GTFO. If you are passive-aggressive/Minnesota Nice and will dislike something, lie about it, and then hold it against us, go make a hot dish in someone else’s oven. We’re straight shooters, but honesty without tact is cruelty.             If you want a job that you can post the heck out of my kid on social media, sorry dude, not for you. You’re going to have to sign a non-disclosure for this position because I’m a Name in my vertical, and we are going to want to be friends in real life anyway so we will be friends on social media.             We’re in this together. So sometimes, because I am addicted to my baby and only want to stare at her rostro forevermore, I am going to be reticent to even hand her to you and in the beginning I will probably lurk over your shoulder. You also need to be able to do things like research gardening services, place an order on Amazon, run to Target or Jerry’s or Trader Joe’s, learn the way we Tetris our dishwasher. You have to love helping, and I love celebrating people who help, so then we will do great together.             Can you swim? Great. Will you get down on the floor to do tummy time? Necessary. Is singing made-up songs your cup of tea? Great, ours, too. Do you like dogs? Better, because we have two perfect little pups.             I have visions of us driving to Lake Harriet together and power-walking the lake with my baby in her stroller. In the summer, we’ll have picnics on the beach.             Taking care of her is top priority, but this job also needs you to happily do light housework, washing/drying/folding/putting away laundry for humans of all sizes in the house, doing the handwashing (bottles/pacis/snotsuckers), loading/unloading the dishwasher, running errands, etc. We have a weekly cleaning crew so no need to scrub toilets, but you get the idea.             The hours are 8 AM to 5 PM, Monday through Friday. Rate is $20/hour. Actual hours needed will vary up or down, so anything above 40 hours is paid at time-and-a-half. You should have multiple years of experience as a nanny, especially with infants. If you want to bring homework to do while she’s napping and you’ve already checked the household chores off the list, that’s totally fine. Or if you want to bring a book to read, great, or you can borrow one of my 9 million books on mindset/business/philosophy.             Still here? You rock. Reply to this post with the subject: Firstname Lastname, your new rock star nanny.             In the email:             Attach your resume as a PDF.             1. Tell me about yourself.       2. Why do you think you’re a fit for this position?       3. What is your favorite quote?       4. Are you certified in CPR and first aid?       5. Be honest: what kind of driver are you?             My favorite quote is from Dr. Seuss’ book, The King’s Stilts: “And when they played, they REALLY played. And when they worked, they REALLY worked.”             Let’s have the grandest adventure together. 

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