#also couldn't decide which i liked better
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I think gen z ultimately lost the war against mental illness when they decided to adapt the older generations rhetoric of "mentally ill ppl who have noticeable symptoms are bad and evil and must be avoided at all costs, they deserve to be alone and die alone" which... most people are not saying that outright, but that IS what they're saying, whether they realize it or not, when they choose to discuss these issues based on personal concepts of morality and punishment instead of approaching it with a mix of empathy and an understanding of science, and how the brain operates.
"Having a mental illness isn't an excuse" is true to a certain extent, but I think a lot of people don't understand that to an extent, it also IS an excuse. The only reason people like to believe that it isn't in any capacity is because mental illness is an invisible disability, and if there's one thing that people love to dismiss the impact of, it's invisible disabilities. Because we can't see what's going on beneath the surface, we struggle to understand the issue, we struggle to empathize with the affected person, whom we may prefer to instead write off as being lazy or malicious, when in reality they are in pain and/or are missing an important tool that helps them function the way they'd like to.
Before getting on medication, I felt and (still sometimes feel) as though I existed behind an invisible glass that separated me from everyone else. I could not understand the point of a lot of mundane things, I couldn't relate to those around me, I felt like my existence was a mistake that should have never happened and the universe was attempting to expunge me by making my life so hard I would kill myself.
And then I got on medication, and suddenly I was able to see things that I had never seen before but had existed in front of me the whole time. I was able to be kinder to people, to be more patient, to talk myself out of bad thoughts I would previously ruminate about for days and weeks. I was able to communicate more coherently, to express my feelings in a way I couldn't before. I wanted to do things again. I wanted to dress up, look nice. I wanted to BE nice.
Of course, these are all still things I struggle with. Like with most tools for disability, medication is helpful in giving me the ability to function in a way that makes life more enjoyable— but it doesn't completely cure the issue. The point is. I tried so hard, time and time again, to change on my own. I tried taking supplements, I tried mindfulness, I tried changing the way I eat, I tried self-help videos/books. But I was a deeply depressed, deeply agitated person whose brain was not wired the way it should have been. So none of what I tried would stick. I would act out in ways I KNEW was wrong, but when you get into a certain state of mind, it's difficult to speak to yourself, to talk yourself down from doing or saying things you know you probably shouldn't. Especially when you feel so isolated from others, and struggle to see the point in anything.
It was only after medication that I made long-term improvements. It was only after my brain chemistry was physically altered in a positive way that my brain could begin to function better, and that my outward behavior improved.
How the anatomy of the brain effects a person is a crucial part of mental health that gets left out of relating discussions too often, I think, and its where I believe gen z unfortunately tends to overlap with gen x and boomers. The brain is an organ like any other, and if it is damaged, or sick, or lacking somewhere in its anatomy.... it will not function properly. The person whose body it inhabits will not function properly.
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A Hero? Why did they all go to that so quickly? He never wanted to be a Hero, even now it was the furthest thing from what he wanted. He fought because he had to, he fought because he lost someone precious to him. It was never about justice, or doing the right thing. It was and has always been a very personal conflict for him. One he still battled with internally. There were things Starline didn't know and might never know. Which by proxy left Surge in the dark, as well. No he wasn't a hero, he was just a guy who decided to fight back when everyone else was running away. He was full of anger and rage, and just wanted to make Eggman pay for that. If not for Tails, and Amy he might have become a very different person.
" I'm not a hero... i wish everyone would stop giving me that label, and if you think GUN thinks of me as a Hero, you are out of your damn mind... "
He said rather bluntly to Surge as he was probably at the top of there shit list.
" GUN absolutely despises me... Because they can't control me. The first chance they got they tried to lock my ass up. Let's not pretend they hold me in high regard here. They tolerate me because folks would flip the fuck out if they made a move... Nah GUN only cares about how they can use me... and i ain't about to let them do that again..."
He crossed his arms setting the record straight, but Surge was right about one thing. Him rushing at GUN and losing his cool would only make everything worse. But deep down he knew this was going to end badly, GUN was cutting off there reinforcement and backing them into a corner. He knew tactic as he'd seen it before, and it was gun strat 101. The only thing that had not counted on was both Surge and Sonic on base and that may have been why there were stalling.
" And you think a GUN Cell is gonna make up for all the bad you did? That the idea? Cause i dun think that'll be how it works. Those cells suck by the way... the beds are the worst. "
He seemed to have calmed down at least and was focused on Surge, as he crossed his arms giving her a glance with those baby green eyes.
" They'll just want to use you... it's what they do, its there playbook... but if it's what you want whatever i guess i can't convince you otherwise... I just think this will hurt the kid alot more then it will help him..."
He sighed as he looked back toward the airship and fidgeted as he watched it getting closer. The massive shadow falling over the base as it and two other air ships came to a stop over top of HQ, as an almost imposing figure. Sonic felt the hair on his neck stand on end, as his bad feeling only intensified.
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There was alot that Kit and Surge didn't know about Sonic, and that statement proved it to Tails. But it was very hard for him to begin to explain it to Kit. Even then he doubted Kit or Surge would agree with it or even see it as a justified reason. But Death has a way of changing people, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worst. He remembered what Sonic was like when they first met, and how he just never spoke to anyone. He honestly thought he was mute for a long time but of course that wasn't the case at all was it?
But at least Kit was honest with him and he could respect that honesty. He wanted him and it was probably the first big step forward. He also didn't disagree with him either, Sonic could end Eggman in a heart beat should he want to. He could have ended him so many times but he couldn't do that not without souring her memory.
" It does help... If only a little ... "
He didn't think trying to explain things to Kit would help and if anything it might agitate him. Though he wished he could make him see things the way he did.
" There, Relay is set up Restoration Coms fully restored... Lanolin should be able to contact our forces outside of Restoration now. We should get Belle Bot someplace safe till this is over, if anything happens to her, we'd lose coms and more--- Know anyplace secure? "
The horrible awful truth was, Sonic lost someone so precious to him that it nearly destroyed him. He was so full of anger and rage when he first met him. But it was her memory that kept him sane, that made him unwilling to to take a life. Her memory that made him believe that people can change. He knew neither of them knew the truth, how could they? He doubted even Eggman knew about her... or how she'd died.
But losing Sonic's mother had been the hardest thing in his life, and he still wrestled with it. If anyone had a reason to kill Eggman it was Sonic, and yet his promise to her kept him from going through with it. But he didn't think Surge or Kit would understand that kind of promise, or what it meant to Sonic. How breaking that promise would tarnish her memory in his eyes.
It was something he could never understand... his own parents abandoned him after all.
"Really? And here I thought they came all this for a fucking tea party with scones. Obviously I know GUN isn't here to just fucking talk, and I'm sure they have their own plans to be a pain in the ass. Though in case you forgot YOU'RE the hero, even to their bitch ass's. How do you think they'll react if you go off the fucking rails. At least if I do it then it'd be way easier for The Restoration to cut me off real quick." It was a blunt and harsh truth, though being such a loose cannon came in handy in a situation like this.
"What do you take me for, a fucking idiot? I'm well aware that I'll have to convince Kit NOT to fight GUN and let them arrest me, and doing that will be like pulling fucking teeth. That doesn't change the fact I trust only you to get him home and to keep your mouth shut just where it is. I'm not telling saying you can't be angry, though take it from me, you don't want it controlling you." Until today most of Surge's choices were driven by her anger.
"Look, I know you ain't happy about my choice, though believe it or not it's for me too. I got shit I need to pay for, and not everything is as easy as changing and running around helping people. Sometimes jail time is need, though I'm sure we both know some crazy threat will come up to force GUNs hand to let me loose to help which could help me get out faster." Surge main reason for doing this was clearly for Kit, though another reason was doing it for herself.
"So if you're done arguing with me then lets get to this fucking checkpoint and make sure GUN knows trying anything stupid will piss both of us off." Surge was ready to start telling GUN to pack it up and go the fuck home, if only for the fact it would get Drippy home faster. "Besides, in case you forgot we got giant Momma Wisp up there." The tenrec doubts GUN wants to fuck with a Wisp that side.
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"Belle Bot wasn't designed programming of hacking, and it was something we put on the back burner as it was made mainly for defense purpose's. Simply put, it can't do something on this scale, though I suppose it'll work for at least jamming their communication and airships if need be. Belle Bot, run program delta nine B on all GUN communication devices and airship within range."
Belle Bot's eyes would glow green for a moment. "Executing command and calculating time until completion. Calculation complete. Command will be fully done in six minutes. Recommending to avoid conflict until process is complete." The bot would then put it's focus on completing the command.
"Why? It's not like you did this to me, and honestly I couldn't care less about your existence by this point. At this point my dislike for you is only because of how continue to let Sonic act so foolish and not convince him to end Eggman. Heroism is fine, though there's a clear line between heroism and stupidity. You and I both know if Sonic really wanted to he could end Eggman at anytime. I'm sure even you can, though you don't." For the most part Kitsunami had gotten past Starline's programming expect for a voice every now and then.
"So there's nothing to talk about as I just don't like you, though I can also admit I don't trust you either. Mainly because our points of view are so far apart and so different. If it helps I can say it's no longer personal as I apply this logic to Sonic and plenty of your friends." Kitsunami could now say he was mostly thinking for himself, even if most of his motivation was to help Surge.
#Blue Streak Speeds By#Sonic#Thundercracker#Surge#All Grown up and Ready to Fly#Tails#Sorrowful Storm#Kitsunami#tw death mention
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Peach! Mrs. Pasta here...checking in for the second time in a few days!
Normally I just lurk in and smile to myself when I see your posts and banters with your followers. But tonight I just couldn't resist...
Ramen, bless him, is getting really good at the non-specific, vague-turnaround, deflective answers to personal questions! I'm impressed.
Also...Nobody keeps their hands more to themselves than Ramen does when he's around a lot of salty things. Is he on a low-sodium diet? Is that why he exercises such great self-control when it comes to these things? TBF, he's very gentlemanly when it comes to being around women, especially costars/colleagues.
I can see (most) people on here are either tired, upset, tired, over it, or a combination of both. I can understand that, especially for the mods that run these blogs. I notice that for a lot of people, separation of professional and personal for their favorite celebrity can be a difficult task. I don't blame anyone for feeling that way, it can be hard to "not think about THAT" when you just want to enjoy "THIS". I will say this though.
Something I have found time and again to be true, is that IF something/someone/someplace is meant for you, things will fall into place. If something is NOT meant for you, no matter what you do, things tend to fall apart. You can try and put it back together, but then something else falls. This has happened to me personally recently, where I was in a situation where I wanted to make something work because I thought I had no other choice and I didn't really want to rock the boat further and go searching for something else. Unfortunately, the more I tried, the more I compromised and kept on staying, the worse it got. I'd fix one thing, another would break. I'd get over one hurdle, another inconvenience would pop up. Finally, I decided to take matters in my own hands and started actually listening to what the universe was trying to guide me towards. It was very hard for me to do this, as I'm more of a logical/rational person, than a spiritual one (I don't really like reading signs or feeling energies to tell me what to do)...But I tried a different approach, and started asking the universe, "If this isn't right, what should I do?" And I would listen and wait, and then tangible things would happen, and then I started making different decisions and taking different approaches. Almost immediately, things started changing for the better. I'm in a much better place now (figuratively and literally).
Just some food for thought: Let things play out. They will. And hindsight is always 20/20. Think about it. I believe Anne's blog has a library that can be helpful for those interested. If all else fails, keep coming to Jen's blog where she posts stories, baking, and general hilarity to keep everyone's spirits up. You are truly a beautiful soul, Miss GeorgiaPeach! <3
Mrs. Pasta! Welcome back. Clearly, your presence has been much needed this past week. Which I do say that there is a reason one shouldn’t consume too much sodium. I suppose were all bloated, and now need to fast.
Ramen is quite smart. He’s playing it coy and vague, non-definite answers. He’s doing good, despite a quick facial change with some questions. It’s funny to watch.
For someone that is quite a gentleman and claims to love PDA his hands do seem quite to himself. But it is a family movie after all, wouldn’t want to be too obvious, I suppose.
I think a lot of people are tired, and more so tired of ongoing arguments that suck the life out of the fandom, much like an overly salted diet. So maybe it’s just the influx of salt that has everyone red in the face? But this is why I implore anyone to curate the space that you want. Filter tags, block blogs, unfollow blogs, create the space that you watch to see with personalities that jive well with your own.
The universe is quite a tricky lady. She usually makes way for things that are for you. Usually when you try to fit a square peg in a round hole, you’re met with resistance. You can sit there, and smile you’re doing it, but others around you will eventually be able to see that you are in fact creating a bigger problem with an impossible task. I’m glad you were able to get to a better place once you listened, and were aware that what you’re forcing isn’t for you.
I do think that hindsight is 20/20. There always seems to be something poking around that pops up at the last minute. Eventually things either fall into place, or you’ve created a big mess. @anneslibrary is a great well of information. And of course @annislittleshopofhorrors herself is a peach in her own right. You are a beautiful soul from the inside out as well, Mrs. Pasta. Take care, and never feel afraid to pop on by when you can.
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Katuvainen Riehuja
#this is#a bit out there#it kinda became not fanart#but i put lots of käärijä stuff in jt#so it's defo fanart#have fun looking at the details#i tried to make it all relevant#although some bits i didn't know what to do so jsut drew something nice lol#also couldn't decide which i liked better#light or dark#it wasn't meant to be based on ICIP#but it just worked out that way#and it kinda fits#i hope the name in finnish makes sense#i wanted it to be “regretful”#but not like “I did something wrong” regret#just like “i put something in motion and didn't expect this”#so... not his fault but his actions nonetheless#ANYWAY#too many tags TM#käärijä#jere pöyhönen#my art#fanart#paidaton riehuja#also lol#a lot of religious iconography for an athiest#not big on religion#but love the visuals#claiming a pass because of cultural proximity to christianity
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#couldn't decide which i liked better.#so here's both#gallavich#gallavichedit#shamelessedit#my edits#also feel free to use these as a phone wallpaper if you like!
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tell me, which side are you on, dear? -the alcott, the national
if this hurts you just know that it hurt me more <3
#fearandhatred#fearandedits#decided to try something a lil different so i pulled out procreate for this#i think it turned out... decent#it could be better but i can't see how it'd look like on tumblr beforehand so this shall have to do!#this song has so many hard hitting lines like. “how many times will i do this and you'll still believe?” HELLO?#also i got this idea 13 hours ago but couldn't do anything about it because i was in school. which sucked#good omens#good omens season 2#final fifteen#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#crowley#aziraphale#good omens edit
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michelle jones watson
Comms open (colored version below the cut)
#michelle jones watson#michelle jones#spiderman#i miss her and i realized that id never drawn her before#i'd also like the record to show that i still despise drawing backgrounds#it SUCKS#i particularly had fun drawing her hair honestly#i couldn't decide which one i liked better so i did both#mj watson
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when i say i ship asrian what i need you to understand is that i mean i want asra to apologize and beg for julian back. possibly in messy tears
#you can't convince me he wasn't the shittiest most manipulative awful boyfriend ever. no one understands me#as always debate and arguments are not welcome on my posts and you will be blocked#but like. listen ok. my headcanon is basically that they were fwb (for a rlly long time)#and julian fell in love with him because of course he did#and asra knew even before he ever admitted it because julian is obvious af#but asra was essentially just using julian and specifically dominating julian as an outlet to feel powerful#so the whole dynamic was basically humiliating for julian because they both knew that he loved asra and they both knew that asra#was using him for sex#but then asra actually did slowly start to fall in love with julian#which julian would obviously never notice because he hates himself#so it was pretty easy to hide. so asra hid it because he hated the thought of being vulnerable in front of julian#and then eventually let julian leave him with his whole dramatic shit of 'asra you deserve better'#and he couldn't say anything because he knew it was his fault#because that was what asra had made him believe#and then finds a way to twist it in his head to basically what he told mc in julian's route#that julian was 'deciding what's best for him'#instead of admitting that he was in love but he couldn't admit it because he thought he was above someone like julian#asrian#the arcana#wank //#<- i don't really see it as wank but i also really do not want asra stans bitching on my posts 🙏
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#bonus under the cut where i got their hat in the shot too bc i couldn't decide which was better#cacturne#grass/dark‚ huh? meowscarada typing. i think it's cool—i wonder if this guy is a phys. attacker like meowscarada is. i would guess so#also hold on i just realized i was totally wrong about cacnea being a rock-type i dunno WHERE i got that from i'm gonna go back and fix that#okay hi i'm back. from the cacnea post. lemme look at this thing's stats and see if they're on par with meowscarada#damn ok phys atk and sp atk are PERFECTLY tied i guess#and they're both higher than meowscarada's phys atk. is this like a Good pokémon?? hold on lemme check its tier on smogon#okay in gen 9 it's NU (but apparently very good for NU) and meowscarada is OU. i don't understand the competitive pokémon landscape
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My favorite version of this redraw is the "old comfort character + new comfort character" variant, so
#couldn't decide which color palette i liked better for peridot so you get both#left is an altered palette that i think looks better#but i think the right [canon colors] is funnier#also i looked up su fanart as inspiration for drawing peridot and fuck man. i feel the special interest returning#peri talks#peri art#i think we have to kill this guy#steven universe#peridot#jekyll & hyde#henry jekyll#the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde#jekyll and hyde
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I always make such expensive mistakes
#handsome jack#timothy lawrence#jackothy#borderlands#sylv scribbles#both versions bc I couldn't decide which I liked better#if it's not obvious the poses are primarily lifted from the scene in the movie that line is referencing#fire hazard alert#also i forgot to make their eyes all white/gone on the scar side so uhhhh they have fake eyes in i guess
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Back on my bullshit
#fred durst#fanart#limp bizkit#cat durst#fred durst art#my art#digital art#procreate#artists on tumblr#he's back#or he never left#anyways#i still have art block#this was from an older sketch i just decided to render#also couldn't decide which version i liked better so have both
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#couldn't decide which version I liked better#also trying to just post more often#even if it's just sketches or studies#since it's not like i don't have tons of these just sitting on my ipad#rust cohle#true detective#my art
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i draw these guys too much....
#tuna art#scott pilgrim takes off#gideon graves#matthew patel#patelgraves#i couldn't decide which background i liked better#also this was a comm i got on amino#i still use amino for some reason#this was rlly fun to do tho#:3
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Finally got ahold of the audiobook of Penance by Eliza Clark and I have mixed emotions about it. On one hand I love the premise and I feel like it's written well enough to where I feel like the author isn't going to clumsily stumble through her own story and fall on her face at the end like the majority of popular thrillers. But also this story suffers from having someone who hasn't been in school for a long time attempting to write teenagers. The funny thing is that whenever I see a horrible portrayal of teenagers, specifically of zoomers its never like, inaccurate portrayals of slang and trends that most teenagers cringe at, it's extremely unnatural dialogue that I don't understand how even a 30 or 40 year old can't see how awkward and cringe and flat out bad of a portrayal they're doing. You can claim that it's regional differences, even if we were all teenagers once I still don't know what it's like to be a popular mean British girl, but I'm fairly certain that actual popular mean British girls don't go around describing themselves as popular mean girls. The funny thing is that they've mentioned several times that these girls (ok it was actually like one girl but she introduced too many characters and I got confused so I can't even remember the name of the girl who said it) are trying to imitate the mean girls in popular American shows/movies. But I think that it's SO funny how instead of going for the obvious Regina George or maybe the more posh Blair Waldorf, they chose Sharpay Evans....I'm very familiar with the popular mean girl trope because I always love the girls who fall into this category and I can say with 100% certainty that none of these girls act like this either. I don't know what the author is going for but it's very painful to listen to.
#the pyre#Technically I'm not reading it I mean I just got myself a copy of the ebook bc I'm so lost which is why I don't know simple things like#the names of the girls I think I'm prob only around 100 or so pages into the book so I was planning on reading that before bed#so I can understand it better#but I'm so heartbroken bc something they're mentioned a few times that def gonna play a large role later#is that the girls all followed this makeshift religion which fit in perfectly with their culty friendgroup#but as of rn I feel the same disappointment I felt when I read bunny and the popular girls doing witchcraft#were so childish and annoying that even I couldn't like them#also I sorta forgot the premise of this book so i looked up the synopsis on GoodReads and the author sounded familiar so#I clicked through her profile and she wrote boy parts and since this book has been following me around I finally decided to get a copy#and read it after I finish penance only for the narrator of the story to briefly talk about some cases he'd researched and among them#he listed a female predator who preyed on little boys and idk the premise of boy parts but I'm p sure that was the author referencing it#and since I like to go into books as blindly as possible I don't appreciate the author spoiling me for a book I haven't even read yet#also I wonder if this is one of those things where an authors books all take place in the same universe even if they don't follow the same#characters that would be cool if true but I hope the narrator of this book doesn't appear in boy parts he's kind of a goober
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Almost done converting AggressiveKitty's Medieval Set but at what cost
#couldn't decide which gif was better at conveying how I feel so I'm keeping both#also I'm not even going to convert the whole set because some stuff I don't like or is too high poly even if I can lower it#but still this is going to be my end lol#😤#kyra's ramblings
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