#also considering i'm not american it's probably not a surprise i haven't heard it

[cherrylng]

Muse Showbiz interview - Matt Bellamy [ROCKIN'ON (April 2000)]

"I had a vague sense that if I concentrated on my suffering and expressed it, I'd succeed. But I also know that I shouldn't continue like this."

A despair machine with airbags? Muse ascends to heaven after being betrayed by all ideals, fully supporting their debut work "Showbiz", which is full of terrifying intuition and excessive emotion!

Interview: Naoya Sanada, Interpreter: Erika Yamashita

"A person who tortures you and then kills you can be considered a devil, or an angel who liberates your soul," says Matthew Bellamy in this interview, but in Muse's music, the devil and the angel are making a secret pact. The sound of thunderous distortion guitar and beautiful falsettos resonates as if they are ascending to heaven while cornering themselves in a situation of despair and no salvation. As Nirvana faded away and Radiohead began to look at the world rather than at their own inner selves, a group of people emerged who pulled out the "double-edged sword of introspection and liberation" that had been stuck in the ground and started swinging it around. They were selected as the best new artist by NME, and there is a strong feeling that they will cause a downfall in the scene. Perhaps because they are produced by John Leckie, some people still dismiss them as followers of Radiohead, but the rough performance of this three-piece band is more bold than precise. They are dominated by a bold innocence that actively tries to create new dramas rather than a pessimistic view of the world. Above all, Matthew travelled in Spain and Greece when he was 17, and his musical experiences seem to be reflected in their scales and rhythmic aspects. That is probably their uniqueness. In other words, if Radiohead is a giant mirror with a macroscopic view of the world, Muse is a raw collection of flamenco, European folk and grunge music that picks up every little sadness and burning emotion that can be found on the streets of the world.

The irony of the new generation's rejection of the ‘showbiz’ situation of grunge's heyday, where suffering is celebrated, is a sign of a new generation's enlightened intelligence, but what are they up to and where are they headed? We caught up with them to find out. By the way, Yamashita said of their live performance, "Their performance was amazing, like King Crimson." What is it about these guys, despite their youth?

I was surprised when I heard the album "Showbiz", because I haven't heard such a graceful, energetic piece of work in a long time. 「Huh? (A look of complete surprise on his face).」

You've had a lot of offers to open for big names like the Red Hot Chilli Peppers and the Smashing Pumpkins, but were you able to predict such a favorable situation before your debut? 「I don't know. I'm not really surprised. My father was a musician, so I grew up looking at pictures of him when he was popular, and I just took everything for granted.」

Really? Your father was a musician. What kind of band was he in? 「A band called The Tornados, from the early ‘60s. Musically, they were doing something completely different from me. My father wasn't a songwriter, he was more of a rhythm guitarist. And I've been playing in bands since I was about 13.」

Musically, you were inspired by Sonic Youth and Nirvana, as well as flamenco and Italian folk music. In fact, I can hear some of those flavours in the songs and grooves on the album - what was it that appealed to you? Flamenco is melancholic. 「It's also passionate.」

That's right. Is that what attracted you to it? Your music is like that too, melancholic but passionate. 「I don't know exactly what attracted me to it…… When I first started learning to play an instrument, my dad had all kinds of records at home. My dad was into American blues, so there were a lot of blues records. But you know how when you're a teenager, it's always better if you're different from your parents? I thought I liked the bands you mentioned, the heavier stuff to a certain extent, but then when I turned 17, I was travelling around Spain and I saw people playing guitar on the street, and they were doing things on guitar that I'd never seen or heard before. It was amazing. I was just so excited. And they're doing it with no effects, no amps, just the guitar itself, and it's so impressive and heavy. So I used to grow my fingernails out and play the Spanish guitar a lot. Now I've switched to electric guitar, so my technique is probably not as good, but I think I'm doing more experimental stuff now.」

Speaking of experimentation, some artists have cleverly absorbed technology and other innovative elements of dance music. Radiohead might be a recent example. Why haven't you gravitated in that direction? 「Well, I think the question is, is technology really helping humans? I might have said this before, but I think this is the fundamental question of my expression. But I use computers a lot myself, and I think I'm quite familiar with that kind of technology, but still. The song "Sunburn" is about that kind of theme…… I think there are about two songs on the album. It's a song that kind of touches on the difference between science and religion, or technology and hope. On one level, human beings shape their own reality and believe what they want to believe. Then science steps in and proves them wrong. "Sunburn" may not mean anything to other people, but to me it's about moths. Moths fly towards the sun or the moon. That's what they're programmed to do. They don't actually get there, but the reason why they fly towards them is to find their other half. If they fly in the right direction, they'll find their perfect half. But sometimes, you know, some of them hit a lightbulb. What's that like? Because you think you've found what you've been looking for all along, and you go towards it, and then you hit a lightbulb?」

(laughs) Yeah. 「I think technology does that to humans, giving us what we want, what we hope for. We don't want to hit the lightbulb. It's very off topic (laughs), but that's why I try to avoid relying on technology as much as possible and concentrate on what humans can do. It's much more difficult and challenging to improve as a player. No matter what the drummer hits, the computer can fix it and make it a perfect beat. It's easy to take shortcuts. But I like human imperfection better.」

I see. I'd like to ask you about the theme of your lyrics. In your lyrics, as in "Sunburn", the words ‘burn’ and ‘burn out’ appear frequently. What is the image or meaning you put into these words? 「Oh, you know, after you die, or rather, when this life ends and you move on to the next stage, you part with your body. Have you ever seen the film "Jacob's Ladder"?」

I believe it's a film about a near-death experience, isn't it? 「Yes, yes. Or "Hellraiser". They are all pretty dark stories. In short, the person who tortures you to death could be considered a devil, or an angel who liberates your soul…… Hahaha, no, so what I mean by the image of burning is that it goes beyond the physicality. We have decided to believe in our physicality as reality, but nobody knows about the world beyond that. For example, there seems to be something built into us as organisms that somehow makes us believe in something like an afterlife, but nobody knows what it is, and science can't prove whether it's true or false. We all make up our own belief systems, and science destroys them. Is that a good thing? I would think about it.」

Did this distrust of science stem from any specific experiences? 「Hmmm…… (thinking) You know, we all talk on the internet all the time, don't we? It's just how many people are looking to connect with other people. We are now trying to use science and technology to take over what religion once did. We all turn to the Internet because we want to feel like we're not alone, we want to be connected to others. It's the same with TV and all the other technologies. But the more we rely on these things, the more we forget that we are inherently connected without the power of technology.」

On the other hand, words like ‘sin’, ‘mistake’ and ‘shame’ often appear in your lyrics. 「Aha, hahaha.」

Is this because you're potentially religious? I think technology and the absence of religion were also key points in our last interview. 「Well, I don't know much about religion, so I don't think that's what it's about…… You have a conscience, and sometimes you go away and do what you want, but then you come back and think maybe you were wrong after all. In other words, it's a moral conscience. Everyone develops their own morality in the process of growing up, but morality is influenced by all kinds of things. Friends, family and, in this day and age, the kind of media you're exposed to growing up is a big factor. I think I'm from a generation that was raised on TV, not religiously, but half worshipping it from a very young age. And I took a media study course at school, and that's when I realized how much of the media is staged, and how different the things depicted there are from reality. They are always trying to sell you something. Since I realised that, I feel like a part of my development has been betrayed. I thought TV was the truth, and I was shocked to find out it wasn't all the time.」

I see. But why is it that you, such a young and colourful man, have to sing "I’m busy mending broken pieces of my life" on your album? 「It's like I've lost someone I really, really loved so much that I can't separate myself from her…… I could see that our relationship was over, but I was so devoted to music that even that became secondary…… That's what I'm singing about. I really, really love you, but somehow music is more important to me than anything else…… That's what it's about.」

Huh. In any case, I think your expression starts from a place of betrayal, or a dead end. Technology is unreliable, religion is obscure, the moth that was supposed to be heading for the sun hits the lightbulb, and so on. The song "Showbiz" was written because you're from a generation that has witnessed the dead-end situation where grunge has already become industrialised and despair and self-destruction are celebrated, but do you feel despair or discomfort about even despairing? 「Yes, that song is definitely about what you said. It's about the commercialisation of despair, and the celebration of individual suffering by other people. That's the situation I'm singing about. Because it's happened to so many people before. Jeff Buckley, Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix…… There are so many. And I'm starting to realise for myself what this whole album I've made is about. I was vaguely aware of it, you know? I mean, if I concentrated on the struggles of life and expressed them, maybe I could easily be very successful. But there are other things to express in life, and they can be more interesting than suffering. So I'm pushing myself inwards a lot on this album, but I know that I shouldn't continue like this.」

In your generation, do you feel a different kind of frustration in terms of how you let out your frustration and despair? 「Well, I think there are various ways to do that. For example, if you look at the history of Tom Waits, Queen, and people like that, I think the next direction for us is to be able to express not only our own feelings but also the feelings of other people.」

Did the death of Kurt Cobain, for example, have any influence on these ideas? 「I wasn't particularly upset at the time. All I felt was, why are people dying so quickly? But the most disappointing thing was that there was no more Nirvana music. That was the most disappointing thing.」

So do you feel confident in your own ability to express yourself in a fictional way? There are some people who don't feel satisfied until they get all their dirty parts out. 「No, I did theatre when I was a student. In acting, you first learn how to express yourself openly. You have to portray who you are, what your family is like, and show it in front of a lot of people. After you have practised that, you team up with someone else and exchange information with each other, and then you express yourself as that person. That's how you learn to express yourself first, and then other people. I think it's the same as that.」

I see. So, did you have an intuition that your encounters with flamenco and Spanish folk music would stimulate you to play music, but at the same time help you to describe other people and the world? 「Yes, I think so…… Yeah (laughs). I've only just started to realise this. I didn't think about it in the past, but as I've grown older, I've come to realise that I can look at things from different perspectives.」

What dangers and negativity do you see in this ‘self’ that you say we 'shouldn't push inwards'? 「I think everyone is dimly aware that there are certain aspects of themselves that give them a hard time. I think it's aggression. It's definitely easy - maybe it's different for women - but for men, it's very easy to rely on this aggression. In short, it's hatred. You get close to hatred, you say you hate someone, and then you sing a song about that (laughs). It's more difficult to lean towards the positive and sing something positive, about how much someone means to you, or something like that. You mentioned Kurt Cobain, so I'm going to say it, but I think he leaned too much towards the aggressive side. I think that's dangerous.」

I see. I understand. So, for the last time, what is the meaning behind the band's name, which seems narcissistic? When you consider the absence of religion, it could be taken as a declaration that you at least want to be beautiful and divine. I mean, you've made such a good album, so I'd like you to say so (laughs). 「Yeah. Hahaha, well, to tell you the truth, we were young 16-year-olds at the time. And we had a good art teacher at school—」

Oh, a female teacher? 「Hahaha, yes. She was a very nice person (laughs). ……We were taking art classes, and one day she told us about the various meanings of the word MUSE. She told us that MUSE is something that you can't see, but that somehow it gives a spark to people and makes them create something wonderful. We decided that this was cool, it's short and it's a good name for a band. We've been using this name for years, so I guess the word has had some kind of subconscious influence on us, but when we decided on it, we didn't really have any deep feelings about it.」

I see. But I heard that even at your live shows, your performance was so high-level and godlike that even the older audience members were so surprised that their jaws dropped. 「Eh (smiles shyly, as if troubled). ……No way.」

As everyone has said, your voice is so beautiful that I get jealous when I hear it, but since when did you realise you could produce such a falsetto? 「No, it must have been in the last two or three years. It was only after I came back from my trip that I realised I could do this kind of voice. Before that I was singing in a very quiet voice. I was nervous and embarrassed, and I always felt like the guitarist who was trying to sing somehow. But as I grew up, I think my body changed. Even though my voice changes when I'm about 10 to 12 years old, it's probably around 18 when I'm fully grown up. That's when I suddenly became able to produce a voice from the depths of my body. It wasn't because I wanted other people to say I was a good singer that my voice came out, it was because I wanted to shout and scream without reservation. I pushed the limits of what I could do, and that's how I got here.」

Translator's Note: This was one of the earlier interviews that I didn't realise that I was missing until I was checking over Mercari.

I haven't seen or listened to a King Crimson album before, but at this point, the sheer amount of times that I keep seeing the Japanese journalists comparing Muse to King Crimson is almost tempting me to go try out and listen to their album.

After translating and reading this early interview from 2000, it almost feels as though Matt was such a Luddite at his young age. But at the same time, I also remember and bear witness to Matt and his bandmates embracing technology quite enthusiastically in their private lives and in their music and live shows, with the ultimate culmination of it being their 2018 album, Simulation Theory.

Please do support me with my ko-fi! ☕

[angelofthemornings]

I'm racking my brains trying to come up with anything real life steppe people have in common with twyre brides. Maybe bride kidnapping at *most.*

This is beyond the scope of a video game and I'm just sharing it as an interesting anecdote, but while we're on the topic, I remember we had to write a paper about bridenapping on the steppes (specifically in Kazakhstan) for an anthropology class I took (I forget what kind of grade I got). I explained in my paper, look, I'm from a related culture and whenever things get serious enough in a relationship to talk about marriage, I ask my boyfriend or girlfriend whether I can stage a bridenapping with our friends. (Every partner I've asked has been into it.) It's usually - USUALLY - a mutually agreed upon tradition and the bride and groom plan it in advance. GENERALLY it happens either for fun (oh no she got kidnapped and taken to a surprise party!) or for slightly more serious reasons like the parents don't approve of a potential marriage and the guy has to make a gesture or elope (again: his girlfriend is consenting and they plan the event together, and everybody knows it).

There are sometimes - and this is condemned by the majority of people - genuine kidnappings where a guy wants a lady and can't get her, so he kidnaps her, and sometimes, for some stupid reason (if she is kept overnight it's considered to involve a potential or actual loss of "virginity", a fake concept to begin with) this is put up with, which is obviously hideously misogynistic and incredibly dangerous. BUT the nonconsensual version doesn't happen that often - to the extent that there's a different phrase in the language for voluntary kidnapping vs. literal kidnapping - and people who try to do this can be punished by a decade or more of imprisonment. (There's a loophole where they can escape criminal liability if they surrender the "bride" at some point, which basically just kind of leaves her open to a free rape. The rationale behind that loophole is opaque to me.) Also, involuntary kidnapping wasn't practiced that much at some point (there are arguments that it *never* happened and was just a form of elopement and/or a practice to make the young lady feel worthy and treasured) and incidents ticked up during and after Soviet times - unsure why, but that's worth looking into - and I probably don't have to tell you that these days people pretty much just...date each other. And don't exactly save themselves for marriage.

I think of a pre-planned "kidnapping" as a cute tradition that, should I get married someday, I plan to do to make the both of us feel worthy and powerfully desired. It's like those bodice ripper romance novels about getting yoinked by pirates; it's not exactly feminist, but as pure fantasy it's romantic. My teacher didn't add any comments to my paper, but I do kinda wonder what she thought about that, as a woman and American, and what my classmates would have thought if we shared them.

In my paper I went off on kind of a tangent pontificating whether or not it's still a misogynistic practice if it's two guys and I couldn't for the life of me draw a conclusion about that.

Situation is unfortunately way worse in some locations, I've heard some stories that would raise the hair on the back of your neck, like a girl who looked forward to getting married all her life until she got snatched by surprise by some thug, now apparently she spends all day in his house looking at wedding magazines...what a terrible story. This was a Chechen girl (Chechnya is way out in the Caucasus, not the steppes, if you didn't know, totally unrelated culture and language but also a tradition of kidnapping brides). Kyrgyzstan barely enforces their laws against real kidnapping, to the outrage of activists in the country. I think there's a documentary on the Kyrgyz situation, I should watch it. (Also, bear in mind that I'm an American, my relatives all got married like normal, I haven't really talked too much about it with my friends who are specifically Kazakh, and I do in fact have relatively limited information and a relatively foreign perspective.)

Hmm, I wonder if I would like to be kidnapped by a lady (consensually)... I'd feel really shy...I'm not sure I have the self-esteem for that roleplay. 😂

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Alex Horne: How often do you think about food? Ray Peacock: Surprisingly little. Alex Horne: How often do you think about death? Ray Peacock: Surprisingly lots. Alex Horne: And how often do you look at Chortle, the website? Ray Peacock: Every other day, maybe? Alex Horne: Okay, so it’s death, then Chortle, then food. Ray Peacock: Yeah, pretty much. - Alex Horne Breaks the News podcast, quickfire quiz, June 2014

Most relatable Ray Peacock has ever been, and I've heard him be pretty fucking relatable on a lot of topics. But this might do it more than any of them. I have the exact same answers to all three questions. That is the order that those topics enter my day-to-day thoughts. And people are frequently surprised by how much I don't like turning food into a whole big thing to think about a lot. This is why I refuse to listen to Off Menu (for other reasons, I'm going to guess there's a chance I might share that with Ray Peacock as well).

Having said that, listening to this podcast episode reminded me that I used to do Chortle headline roundup posts on this blog, haven't done one of those in a while. And there are some fun ones right now. So here, have some Chortle headlines.

I am surprisingly excited for season 2 of this - surprising given that I found season 1 sort of strangely uneven and disappointing in parts. But it was uneven in a way that had potential. The good bits I liked a lot and the ideas I found intriguing. I'm pleased we get a chance to see if it can find its feet.

I watched this pilot many years ago, and then forgot about it until I saw this headline. It was fucking terrible. It took me a moment to even remember it, I briefly thought Iannucci had suddenly decided to start slagging off Veep. But nope, he's talking about this other weird American thing from far earlier.

I have had cause to think about The Thick of It a bit more in the last couple of years, possibly re-vist the stance I've held unwaveringly since I first saw it in 2009, that it's the greatest television show ever made. It seems more complicated now, as I consider the effects that many political comedy shows I love, including that one, may have had on real-life politics, some effects being not great even if the shows went in with the best intentions. On the other hand, the episode titled Spinners and Losers is an absolute masterpiece of cinematic storytelling, more righteous anger has never been committed to television than Jamie MacDonald being betrayed in the final hours. Veep is also very good. That other American pilot was very bad. This one headline has reminded me of all those things.

I clicked the link to see what the hell a cost-of-living romcom is. It's a couple who break up and can't move out due to a rental contract. Okay. Well good for Lara Ricote, anyway.

I continue to be quite pleased for Joe Lycett that he got a TV vehicle that seems utterly perfect for him, even though I could not get past the first couple of episodes when I tried to watch it myself. Good for him. Hope he wins an award.

Oh good! I'd read that he was better, but there are varying degrees of "better", and I wasn't sure which one he was. If he's traveling around to various towns for Radio 4 again, that suggests he's genuinely better. The "comedian writes a stand-up show about their recent bout of cancer" is surprisingly saturated at the moment, but I hope he gets one in next year anyway.

On the subject of the saturated market, I liked this show far more than I'd expected to, given my general aversion to hearing medical details of anything. A show with that many medical details that I still enjoyed probably deserves at least 4 stars.

I'm going to this! I'm going to this I'm going to this I'm going to this!!! I always enjoy the biannual-ish even called "Chortle publishes the contents of Daniel Kitson's mailing list." Always accompanied by the same picture. Steve Bennett definitely only has one picture of Daniel Kitson.

I used to love that show so much. But on the subject of me having re-evaluated the responsibility of various political comedies, my view on this is now that everyone should just listen to The Bugle's election special instead, get it from people who are not centrist monarchists. Actually, Last Week Tonight did quite a good UK election special this week too. I still believe in political comedy as a concept. I just have higher standards than I used to for what level of apologism and comedy washing I'll overlook in it.

He did that when I was in high school! My dad traveled to the States to see him, I couldn't go because I guess I was a kid and in school, but my dad brought me back a t-shirt that said "Eric Idle Greedy Bastard Tour" on it, that he'd got signed by Eric Idle after the show, and I wore it as a night shirt. Wore it several nights a week for nearly 10 years, until it got peed on by our mice infestation and I had to throw it away.

I watched this and quite enjoyed it! I'm not sure Comedy Blaps have a particularly high rate of getting picked up for a larger series so I don't have my hopes up for more, but I'd definitely watch it if they made this. Surely it's only a matter of time before Amy Gledhill gets some major TV role or other.

A few things going on here. That Canadian article was written by a guy my brother sort of knows, which is more crossover than I'd like there to be between my real life and Chortle (he's also kind of a dick, I wouldn't need to know anything else about him to know that, you can tell by the dig at the Kim's Convenience people as though working in shitty conditions should preclude people from speaking up about those shitty conditions). That Guardian article on political comedy is interesting, contrasting Nish Kumar and Emma Sidi with Matt Forde, I think, in terms of political comedians who can view the political situation as purely material and ones who have something more interesting to say about it. I read that stand-up round table thing, I don't follow American comedy all that much but there were several comedians whose work I know and like in there, and I had to stop reading it because it was making me like them less. Except Edelman, about whom my opinion didn't change because I've never much liked him.

[starlightyellow]

Starlight's Weekly Finds 3/20-3/27

Hi! My name is Starlight and I want to push myself more to post more of what I like on my account, so what better way to do that then to throw all my niche interests in a post to encourage others to talk about them too! This newsletter will consists of a read, a music wrap, and a movie of the week. As this goes, I'll add more or less depending. thanks for tuning in this week and I hope you come back for the next.

Read of The Month

This week I'd finally gotten around to getting a digital library card from @queerliblib ! The Queer Liberation Library is a free digital library the is entirely comprised of books created by LGBT+ BIPOC authors. They have such a ride variety of audiobooks and scanned copies that I feel there's something for everyone. To apply for a library card is free, however please be mindful it may be a bit of a wait for your library card depending on when you apply. I was lucky and received mine within like a few days of applying. All info to learn more and to apply will be on the @queerliblib socials.

I'm currently reading Between Perfect and Real by Ray Stoeve. It follows a trans guy named Dean who is recently cast as a major male lead in a school play. The story follows how Dean navigates his transition while also juggling graduating school and making it to an acting school in New York. I'm about halfway through and I highly recommend.

Music Wrap of the Week.

Okay so this section alone will probably turn into it's own individual post at some point considering I finally am getting into KPOP. I'm focusing on girl groups right now and I've listened to ALOT this week. Here's only a few of my favorites from the week.

QWER: Secret Diary

Okay, I give. This first song is technically a band as opposed to a girl group. However, their music is so good I have to let it slide. Debuting on October 18 2023, QWER is a South Korean girl band consisting of 4 members(shown below). QWER is such an interesting Kpop group to me with the members pulling inspo and influence from American bands like Slipknot and Red Hot Chilli Peppers. They bring something a little different that I really love.

Pictured left to right: Magenta(24), Hina(23), Chodan(25), and Siyeon(23).

XG: Winter Without You

The next on the list came as a pleasent surprise, because I didn't know I had heard a song from them before. You may know this 7 member group from their song Shooting Star, which is a great song, but just a little played out after the sped up version went viral on TikTok. Winter Without You leans more into the RNB aspect of the group's concept, and it makes me feel like Christmas should be here again. If you like modern holiday songs or were a big fan of Ariana Grande's album Christmas and Chill, this song was made for you.

Pictured left to right from top row to bottom: MAYA(18), Hinata(21), Juria(19), Harvey(21), Cocona(18), Jurin(21), and Chisa(22).

Loossemble- Real World

LOOSSEMBLE is a group that caught my eye from their single Sensitive, but Real World I feel is an underrated song on their debut album. Debuting September 15, 2023 LOOSEMBLE consists of 5 members(PICTURED BELOW). This is a new subdivision of the girl group LOONA, with some members also being from LOONA 1/3 respectively. Just like with my other recs this week, the whole debut album is a bop tbh. Honorable mention for Strawberry Soda track as well. I haven't really gotten in my LOONA bag just yet, but if it's anything like LOOSSEMBLE, I'm fully sat.

PICTURED LEFT TO RIGHT: Go Won(23) ,Hyeju(22),Hyunjin(23) ,VIVI(27), and Yeojin(21).

Movie of the Week : TMNT (2007 Film)

To say I'm a TMNT fanatic would be an understatment. No matter what gen TMNT is in, I can always find something to cherish about every form of content that been pumped out ofer the years. More praise should be given to this film as a whole. Yes at points the animation of the turltes can be a little.... jarring to say the least.

However, the storyline is so good I can overlook the jumpscare that is having to look at them during certain scenes. This is one of this first instances on screen prior to the Michael Bay films that I felt really allowed Leo to be more than just a leader to his brothers.

Leonardo in most depictions up until recent years was always shown as the levelheaded leader who rarely has a genuine spat with his team and if he does, it usually has to do with the stress from being a leader and not neccesarily with having to be a brother.

This film follows the turtles after Leo returns from what was supposed to be a few months' mission that turned into a year and him trying to recollect his team. You have Mickey and Donnie who are elated the Leo is home, while Raph carries on as though nothing has changed, almost mad that Leo had the gull to come back.

This boils over into a moving fight scene between Raph and Leo, but the difference from this onscreen arguments between the two than the ones at the time were that they allowed Leo to argue, even physically fight Raph but not as his leader. It was a his genuine brother. They allow Leo to get fed up and tired of Raph's attitude enough to give into the preconceived notion that Raph thinks Leo has about him. If you haven't seen it, I would make it a point to. Especially for this scene alone. Def a 5/5 in my book.

And that's a wrap! Thank you so much for reading my first put together blog post!

[neon-zoologist]

I've never heard of it before but i'm willing to say it's a valid word

hey question. do other people say wadnt or is that just a southern thing.

[undeadcourier]

So given that Mormonism is almost dead and it's very possible for the Courier to have never heard of Christianity, I'm trying to brainstorm post-war beliefs. What do you think people swear by? What sort of religions, superstitions, rituals, etc. have sprung up in the wake of the bombs? (Note that I've only extensively played FNV so far of the series so I don't know about other games' stuff much.)

This is an incredible question and really fun to consider. Gonna tag the expert @calder to weigh in on canon (and beyond) too.

Christianity is a bigger influence in Fallout 3. Revelation 21:6 is the favorite bible verse of James and Catherine, the Lone Wanderer's parents, and it's quoted multiple times. That's probably the most overt reference outside of Joshua's Mormonism, but the wiki has a log here if you want to see more. It's also incomplete, since it doesn't mention Arcade quoting Isaac in Genesis 22, but still a good source for what's mentioned in canon. Given how ridiculously invasive Christianity is in U.S. American politics/culture and how inextricably tied it is to the jingoism, racism, McCarthyism, American exceptionalism etc. that the Fallout games were meant to critique, I don't think you could effectively do Fallout without it coming up. I'm trying not to write a whole dissertation on how Chrisitianity has influenced U.S. politics right now (tho maybe someday), but even where you don't have actual Christians, I think you're still going to have a lot of Christian influence. I wouldn't be surprised by people still swearing on a Christian bible or saying "Jesus Christ" or the like as an exclamation, even in places in the wasteland where Christianity isn't practiced or particularly well-known, since that has become so integrated into the language (similar to how the days of the week in English are named after ancient Norse deities even though very few people in the U.S./England practice that religion). Fallout 4 starts to explore new post-war superstitions and religions with the Children of Atom, and 76 goes even a bit further with Mothman and some other cultish beliefs, but I haven't spent as much time playing those or the games before Bethesda, so I'll let others way in on that for now.

This is already so long and I haven't even begun speculating about stuff that isn't directly supported by canon, so I may just make some more posts after this. I love the idea of a cult centered around the power of nuclear weapons, but the Children of Atom didn't really do it like I would have, so I can outline my ideas about that later, too. I'd like to explore the concept of radiation as akin to fae or spirits, which is probably not something that meshes well realistically (virtually everyone knows what radiation is and wouldn't need to explain radiation poisoning as a ghost's curse, for example), but I think it would be Fun.

Nuclear semiotics in Fallout is so fascinating to consider. Like the idea of narrow triangles and spiky symbols becoming taboo because they're associated with the hostile architecture of long-time nuclear waste sites. Of course, the point behind hostile architecture like that is that we already associate thorny shapes with danger. Maybe phrases or folk wisdom develops around the idea of a problem compared to the size of your thumb, related to using your thumb as a measurement against a mushroom cloud to determine if you're in a fallout zone. "A problem bigger than your thumb" is serious, whereas "a knuckle" is considered a less urgent issue.

[blkfye]

ii. my home is yours

important: this chapter is apart of a book series titled, SOMEONE LIKE YOU. for all chapters, go to my masterlist.

words: 0.9k

THE LIGHT WINDS of buson gently carried my skirt along with it's breeze as i scrambled for a sweater to put on. i had just finished selling my last bowl of kimchi, but i was not surprised at how fast it sold out because usually more costumers are out on saturdays.

i packed my tent and supplies into my car after saying my goodbye to my last costumer who actually happened to be a foreigner by the name of greta-- she reminded me that i too was a foreigner here. with that thought in mind, i drove home in almost silence, listening to faint music in english for the first time in a long time because music in english made me miss my home that was not home any longer.

♡⋆.࿐࿔

my uninvited thoughts came to a slow halt after i saw a figure standing outside my door, hands in their sweater pockets, seeming to be waiting nonchalantly. at first glance, i thought the person was a salesman decided to stop by to trick me into some game, but soon i realized that it was not a salesman, and in fact it was sae-byeok. for some reason i was relieved that she came, but it had also caught me to a surprise after remembering how uninterested she was in mine and aunt cho-hee's help.

i honked gently to get her attention, hoping that i hadn't honked too hard and caused her to freak out. to my surprised sae-byeok turned around to allow her same emotionless gaze meet my soft and nerve-wrecked one. i smiled and waved gently from inside the car, but her expression did not change and she kept her gaze. i just continued to park in front of my house, but in a quick and safe manner.

"sae-byeok! you came!" i exclaimed a little to enthusiastically after getting out my car. i felt a little embarrassed considering that she had not seemed to express the same excitement to see me too. i was just happy that she was safe.

"yeah," she replied. "i was hoping you'd keep your word."'

i smiled softly. "of course i would. let's go in."

i jogged up my little steps to my door then opened the door for us, allowing her to go in first so that i could lock the door behind us. she looked around my tiny house, presumeably taking in all of its details which made me feel a bit uneasy until she said, "i like your house."

i raised my eyebrows, shocked. i had always felt insecure about my little house, especially because of it's lack of furniture and moderation. it looked a bit like an american trap house, but instead the walls were all one color. "really?"

she shrugged coolly. "yeah."

"thanks," i replied. "it's really not that much, but you can take up the pull-out bed here in the living room. i don't have a bed or anything in my room or else i'd offer that to you instead."

sae-byeok did not question me or give me a judgy look even. she just thanked me and although it seemed blunt and emotionless, i could tell that she was genuine. that was enough to make my night, even though it was only thirty minutes past 6pm and the sun still made a vague presence outside.

we did not talk much for the rest of the night, the only time we did was the few times i asked if she was okay. she said yes every time. it had been around two hours and i began to become tired, so i decided to rest early so i'd have enough energy to help sae-byeok and her brother the next day.

"sae-byeok."

"hm," she replied from the pull-out bed, no sheets, just sweats.

"i'm going to sleep early, okay? there is food in the fridge if you're hungry and if an emergency occurs just wake me up."

"got it," she replied.

i hummed and walked away until she spoke again.

"y/n?"

"yes?" i stopped and turned back around.

"have you ever been to jeju island?" she asked randomly.

i furrowed my eyebrows. "no, no i have not. why?"

she pointed to the little tv in front of her, which played a commercial of a vacation to jeju island. i smiled.

"ah, i see," i said. "to be honest i haven't heard of jeju island, but it's probably because i have only been here in korea for about a year."

sae-byeok's usual emotionless face became a confused one. "really?"

i smiled softly. "yeah, but we can talk more about me tomorrow. i think we can both use some sleep so we have energy to visit your brother tomorrow, yeah?"

"yeah," she said, returning back to her emotionless demeanor.

"okay sae-byeok," i smiled. although i said i was tired, the truth was that i stayed up and peeped on sae-byeok occasionally until she feel asleep, because i just wanted to make sure she was well rested and okay.

after an half hour, i creeped down the hallway and peeped on sae-byeok, who was softly snoring on the pull out bed. i smiled.

"good night, sae-byeok," i whispered, although i knew she could not hear me. i smiled at her and to myself, because even though she did not say much, i really did enjoy sae-byeok's company.

[btssk]

Ms. Dokkaebi - Part One

Series Summary: You are the nanny for J-Hope’s older sister Jung Ji Wo. And while you’re great with her kids, best friends with J-Hope, and considered apart of his family, you seem very rude and stand-offish when it comes to the rest of BTS. There’s a tense relationship between you and the other members but when shit hits the fan, they'll realize just how wrong they were about you. But will it be in time.?

Notes: I’m new ARMY who doesn’t know everything there is to know about BTS as individuals so I may not accurately depict them in my writings, but as a FanFic writer who’s found her new muse, i’m just jumping right into it! This was originally going to be a one shot but then I started having too many ideas and points to touch on so I’m turning it into a series. And heads up, i write longgg posts regardless. I’ll probably comb through this a few times after I post to tweak some things. Also, this is obviously written in english but imagine that they're speaking Korean. This is my first BTS fanfic,

Hope you enjoy!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pairing: (Platonic) J-Hope x Reader

Summary: You've come to visit your very own personal ray of sunshine Jung Hoseok while on vacation. Despite his unbridled joy at your arrival, the other members of BTS struggle to understand how such terrifying opposites could be attracted to each other.

Warning: swearing, violence

"Here, place these on the table, Canola flowers are her favorite." Hoseok wipes the remnants of soil off his hands and smiles proudly at his personal efforts. "Their train should be arriving shortly, if you still plan to meet them at the station sir." "Right, i'll leave first then. Thank you ladies." The maids bow as he gives his final nod of approval before rushing to the waiting car. "Step on it Dae-Hyun, we can't be late." "Of course sir." "Dae-Hyun," "Yes sir?" "How do I look?" The driver smiled at the multimillionaire international superstar, sweating and squirming in the backseat. "She's going to be thrilled to see you sir."

…

"Does that mean I don't look good?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"We're here! Everyone come welcome our special guests!" Two little kids fly into the house faster than Hoseok could finish announcing their arrival. Next came their frantic mother scrambling to collect them and scold the poor manners they were presenting.

Jin gets up from sitting in the living room with both arms open wide, inviting the kids to jump into them. "It's okay Ji Wo, i've missed my little feathers." "We're not little feathers!" "Of course you are! See, I can do this!" He starts spinning around as fast as he can. Hoseok stands besides his sister smiling at his niece and nephew flying in circles. "Too fast!" "No more Ahjussi!" Jin stops spinning, "Ah-Ahjussi? Ahjussi?! Who are you calling Ahjussi? You think i'm so old that I deserve to hear such things?! Ya! You think you'll be young forever?" Jin begins tickling and shaking the two until they're begging him to stop. "You'll be my age soon and let’s see how you like being called Ahjussi! I'm not even that old!"

Jin's signature 'eldest-rant' calls the rest of the members into the living room. "I don't know Jin, i'm starting to see some grey hairs." Jungkook joins in on Yoongi's joke, "Oh, there on the sides right?" "Mm, yeah." "Stob it!"

By the time you entered the room, everyone had already shared their hello's with Ji Wo. Her kids were outside running around with Taehyung, Jungkook, and Jimin. Jin was still fuming over being called Ahjussi despite Namjoon's best efforts to calm him down, while Yoongi stood by doing his best to turn Jin into a talking tomato.

Busy helping his sister move the luggage to the guest house, Hoseok left your welcome party in the hands of dumb and dumber, plus one. The three kept at their bickering until Namjoon finally noticed you. You dropped two large duffel bags at your feet and wore all black, head to toe. No makeup, hair in a half-assed updo, and shoes still on after entering the home? You weren’t here to impress and currently, were not impressed either.

Namjoon straightened up his appearance before nudging Jin and Yoongi to follow suit. Yoongi hid his smile and offered a very sweet and shy apology. And while Jin was obviously embarrassed to have been caught acting so childish in front of a stranger, this fact presented a dilemma. Why was there a strange woman in his living room? An American woman, with a very unpleasant look of irritation and disapproval on her face? 'Does she not see how handsome I am?' Remembering that he was in his own home and the eldest person present, he chose an informal tone. "Ya. Who are you. How’d you get in here?" No response. The only change being your eyes now solely locked onto Jin. A slight relief to Namjoon and Yoongi. "Did you hear me? Who are you, what do you want?"

"...."

"What you don't speak Korean?"

Silence.

"Aishh," Jin put his hands on his hips, "So, You American came to Korea just to step into a Korean household and not only refuse to address your senior, to state your business, or atone for these things, but can't even speak Korean to begin with? Unbelievable." After another chance to explain yourself, yet remaining silent, Jin rolls his eyes and grabs his phone. "Fine. I'm calling security." Now you looked pleased, almost amused. Did you understand what he had said? Clearly not since you were smiling, but, did you? The three members wait with you in the deafening silence.

A couple minutes and guards storm into the room scanning for the intruder. Jin immediately starts yelling and pointing for them to take you away. Yet you don't move an inch as the guards surround you. Instead, you smile sweetly in return for their low bows. The member's are stunned as the head of security addresses you and you only. "Our apologizes for this mishap Ms. Y/n, it won't happen again." You nod, accepting his notion, and Jin couldn’t take it anymore, "What! what is this?! Who is she that she can enter my home uninvited with more authority than me?!" The guard's explanation is interrupted by Hoseok's return. "Oh good, you've met y/n!" He smiles at his friends indifferent towards the scene he interrupted. "Y/n hand me your bag i'll carry it," he gives you his other arm to escort you outside, "Ji Wo and the kids are already unpacked. I'll help you with your stuff. I made sure your room had those pillows and comforter set you really liked from last time-oh! And I have a surprise for you! I went and picked them myself, your favorite! Then we can talk about what you want for dinner tonight..." The three ‘men’, who were correctly feeling as less than such, watched you step into the guest house as if you owned that too.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Explain."

"Oh good, I needed a second opinion! I like the yellow shirt but it's a bit much for dinner at home right? Then there's the blue but it doesn't compliment my eyes very well. Maybe the white one then? You can't go wrong-"

Jin slaps the shirts out of Hoseok's hands.

"No! Explain the woman who just walked into my home with zero etiquette, highjacked my home, security team, and is now downstairs with her bare feet on my coffee table!"

"So you're thinking the blue one."

"Hobi!"

"Jin can you keep it down, i'm trying to take my pre-dinner evening nap," Yoongi throws himself on the bed, "But to his point; Who is she?"

Hoseok picks up the blue shirt and pulls it on. "Uh, well that's a loaded question. I know that she can be very, well, i'm sure you've noticed,"

"Yes, continue."

"But, I guess, she's my best friend." Every remaining member bursts through the door, silently threatening him to say it again. Even Yoongi twisted his head, "The hell did this bitch say." Jin takes the lead scolding Hoseok's blasphemous comment, with the others suddenly becoming faithful followers of their beloved Ahjussi. Once finished fiddling with his shirt, Hoseok addressed the room full of crybabies. "Maybe 'best friend' wasn't the most appropriate label, but she IS someone very special to me. So please, all of you go get dressed and be ready to eat dinner in an hour. I need this to be perfect. It's important, please." He hurries out of the room to find you, leaving his very much so established and unquestionably best friends unsatisfied with his explanation.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Tell me to hurry up...look nice...feet on my table!...she's the mean one...I don't even like spicy food...Will you come help me already you see me struggling!" Namjoon was certain his hands were going to fuse with his face if he listened to this for another second. He gladly stood up to help Jin with his tie, "If it'll end your ranting about y/n-"

"Stupid name"

"You met her once for five minutes; you don't even know her." "Ah, five minutes was ten minutes too long." "That still doesn't make any sense," Namjoon grumbles for the billionth time since meeting his friend, "There, done."

"And why are we wearing ties anyways? We're at home! Ji Wo's family! I'm expected to look Grammy's ready for that…that Dokkaebi!?" Yoongi sits up from Jin's bed laughing, "That what?" "When did you get there?" "Did you just call y/n a Dokkaebi? I haven't heard name calling like that since primary school." Jin charges at Yoongi shaking his finger, "You know it! You were there, both of you! You saw her smiling at us; like a blind person winking. Just, empty." A chill runs up Jin's spine that Namjoon and Yoongi have to admit they also felt. "Hear me, that goblin will only cause us problems." "You're overreacting-"

"Her.bare.feet! On.my.coffee table!"

"Look she's special to Hobi, that means she can't actually be that bad right? And again, we only met her for five minutes-" "That was ten minutes-" "DO NOT say it again it makes NO sense! We didn't make a very good first impression either, so let's consider dinner a fresh start." Namjoon and Yoongi guide a still disgruntled Jin down to dinner. They can hear the kitchen is already crowded with conversation, children laughing, and food on the stove. Namjoon takes a deep breath, "Fresh start boys. Be nice." They round the corner to see your eyes already baring deep into their souls. Jin leans into his friend’s tiger grips on him and whispers, "See, see! Some of her goblin tricks already. Evil little mi-chin nyeon-" "You sure you want to finish that sentence." Your comment draws Hoseok’s attention to his friends, "Hey guys! Come have a beer, we're almost done cooking." The trembling mice men find a safe distance from you on the other side of the island and Hoseok hands them each a drink. But Jin’s eyes never leave yours, except to make sure that the knife in your hand is still chopping vegetables and not plunging into his chest. "So, you can speak Korean." "Of course, what kind of American would I be to come all the way to Korea, enter a Korean household, and not be able to address my senior. The honor is mine, Ahjussi." You throw in a lopsided bow at the end but Jin is far from impressed. Namjoon grabs another beer, "Here we go..." Before he has the chance, Jin's attention is on his legs. "Do the funny walk!" "Yeah, the funny walk!" "Oh, I think i'm too old, now that i'm 'Ahjussi Jin'." The twins plead with him until they're disappearing down the hallway, holding on for dear life as he flails his legs as much as possible. You finish cutting the vegetables and hand them to Ji Wo at the stove. Before you have a chance, Hoseok takes the dishes from your hands, "I can clean these too y/n, you go grab a drink and hang out while Ji Wo and I finish up. Your seat is right there next to mine!" If he could walk for you he would, even if he didn't have legs himself. Annoying and embarrassing at times, like now, but at the end of the day you loved that about him; so unashamedly sweet to you like no one else would dare to be.

You go slip into your Hoseok-assigned seat at the table next to Yoongi and count how long it’ll take him to grow a pair and say what's on his mind.

"So y/n,"

27 seconds,

"how do you know Hobi?" "I work for Ji Wo." "Oh, like a secretary?" 'The fuck?,' "Or not. Then, some security guard? No! Not that i'm saying you’re manly or anything, you're very attractive-not that i'm attracted to you-NOT that there's a reason I shouldn't be!" Yoongi chokes on his words long enough for you to respond. "I'm her nanny." You see the first unpetrified emotion cross Yoongi's face since meeting, "Really? You…like, kids?" "Of course. They're adorable." He'd have an easier time believing you if you didn't look like you were recounting the hells of war. Lost on how to continue the conversation, Yoongi tries a new approach.

He moves a tray of assorted fruit towards you, "Here. Do you like fruit? We bought all of this fresh from the local market." "I already had some." "Oh. Okay, good.. Um, I love the tangerines. I bought a whole bundle...where'd they go?” Yoongi notices that his dozen of tiny orange babies are the only fruits missing from the tray. Once again your eyes were waiting for his to catch up. "Did you-" Without breaking eye contact, possibly without breathing since Yoongi’s doubting you even have a heart right now, you peel the last tangerine. You do it slow enough that if you listened closely, you could hear it crying for 'papa Yoongi' to save it. "My...you ate...all of them." The poor boy looked like he went bankrupt with a wife and kids to feed back home. Ironic maybe? He tried his best to swallow his emotions, "That's okay. You're our guest; I'm happy to share anything with-" You pop Yoongi's last little baby into your mouth and he snaps, "That's it. Who hurt you. I demand to know." A slightly sweaty Jin joins the stand-off over his friend’s shoulder with the same scowl on his face, "See...Dokkaebi." Yoongi swears his loyalty with a single word. "Dokkaebi.."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Y/n i'm going to the restroom, can you-" "Got it." "Thanks!" Ji Wo runs around the corner leaving you in charge of the children. All, of the children.

Most are taking their seats, Hoseok is practically in your lap talking your ear off, and Jin is trying to shake off the two urchins still stuck to his legs. "Please!? Where is your mother it's been hours, days even!" The twins laugh at his joke and Namjoon again tries to convince Jin that he doesn't make any sense.

"No, more more!"

"Yeah more!"

"More!"

"More! MORE!"

Hoseok eventually nudges you, "Come on y/n, enough fun, the foods going to get cold." 'We never do what I want.' You snap your fingers and point to the chairs across from you. The two tumble over each other trying to see who could be the fastest. So competitive. You were proud. "Whoa, could you train Yeontan to be that obedient?" "You calling my kids dogs." There's a slight breeze behind you that could only be from Hoseok's frantic motions for Taehyung to stop talking. "I, no...nevermind."

Ji Wo comes back and sits next to her son, "Okay, let's eat!" Everyone starts to fill their plates and converse amongst themselves. Hoseok is making your plate while you're busy making the kids'. Sitting on the other side of the twins is Jungkook. He gives himself a pep-talk until he's confident that he's about to do the right thing. Yet, across from him, Yoongi and Namjoon shoot him every desperate facial expression that they know. Whatever Jungkook is about to do, they're sure it's a bad idea. 'What are they mouthing? "Dok...Dokkaebi?" What? That doesn't make any sense.' He gives them a curt 'I got this' smile so the two give up.

'Poor bastard.'

'It's always the innocent.'

Jungkook grabs the bowl in front of him and holds it out towards you. "Y/n, I made this dish specially for you. It takes a few hours to prep and another two for cooking, but Hoseok spoke so fondly of you I knew it was worth the time." You feel the pride radiating from Hoseok when he places his hand over yours. The whole thing's silly, but you let your little sunshine have his moment. "The sauce is my grandmother's secret recipe and I made the noodles from scratch. It's always a crowd favorite when I make it. I'd love it if you had some! Let me put some on your plate." "No thanks." Jungkook stops mid-reach across the table and his doe-eyed smile falters. "I, uh, promise you'll love it. It's the best dish on the table! Please, just try it-" "You trying to kill me (?) I said no" "But-" "And I won't say it again."

A pained silence falls over the group, but nothing compares to the hurt on Jungkook's face. Defeated and humiliated, he slides back down into his chair too embarrassed to lift his head. Then, "I want some!" the little girl next to him slaps a smile back on his face. "Of course sweetie, here!" This time Hoseok and Ji Wo are the ones quick to speak up in a panic. "No hun, you can't." "Jungkook don't-"

*CLINK!*

Your eyes snap to the spoon still spilling pasta on the plate. The sound rings out and fades away without a single interference. Jungkook's frozen in fear, everyone is, as they should be. You can feel Hoseok desperately squeezing your hand, silently begging you not to cut off his friends'. Ji Wo's face is pleading the same case. You listen to Jungkook's heart beat out of his chest for a few more seconds, watch his life flash before his eyes to truly remember this moment by. Removing your hand from Hoseok's, then placing it over his, is reassurance that he and Ji Wo can stop shaking. As for everyone else, they're nothing more than deer caught in headlights. "There's shrimp in that. She, and I, are both allergic to shellfish. If you feed her that, she'll die in minutes, and then you would die in seconds. Am.I.clear." There was another silence while Jungkook struggled to keep his soul from leaving his body. He couldn't believe what he had almost done and begged forgiveness from Ji Wo, "I-I'm so sorry! I had no idea, honest I wouldn't have-" "It's okay Kook, I know that you didn't know. It was an accident," her eyes drift towards you, "right y/n."

She's weary. She can tell that you haven't calmed down, not enough at least. You take your job very seriously; you love her kids as if they were your own. And if you ever did have kids of your own, then god save us all. You really were like a second parent to the twins. The kids once asked if the two of you were going to get married some day. You and Ji Wo were both laughing your asses off until you realized that Eun had fallen out of her chair. Her face was turning purple and her throat had nearly swollen shut. She laid motionless on the floor with her eyes digging into y/n's, begging for help. But no one saw what happened and didn't know what to do. Y/n took a gamble since it was their first time having lobster and gave her her epi-pen. As relieved as Ji Wo was to hear her daughter start breathing again, it would be a few weeks for her, and you, to completely move past what happened. That was the first and only time Ji Wo had seen you so unnerved; truly afraid. And right now she saw that same memory flash over your eyes in a blinding loop. She tries again, "Y/n, it was an accident…It's okay now."

"Y/n," Hoseok's gripping your fist with both of his hands, "She didn't eat any, she's okay. Jungkook knows now, they all do. Right." Every head at the table shook furiously, but you saw none of it. Your eyes locked onto Jungkook and debated which fingers to break first.

Then you felt Hoseok's grip on you change. It loosened, and his fingers gently ran over the back of your hand, something that always forced you to relax. "Angel," One of your biggest weaknesses, "please, for me." was hearing him beg. 'And that dang pet name.' You let out all of your pent-up energy into one labored sigh, finally releasing the dinner guests as hostages. Yoongi jumps from his chair as you abruptly stand. "What did you learn Jungkook." "She's-you both!-are allergic to shellfish," poor thing had been on the brink of crying this entire time, "I swear that I will never forget it-" "No. You don't question me. Ever again."

While you're turned to grab a clean plate for Eun, "Chin-hae don't stand on your chair-!" you hear the sweetest voice back you up. "Yeah! You don't ask y/n questions!" He's all but using his sister's head as a prop while sticking his sticky finger in Jungkook's face, “giving him the business” about not asking anymore questions or trying to kill his sister again. You motion for him to sit down once you're back and shoot a wink. 'That's my boy.'

——————————————————————

"Again, Ji Wo, I am so sorry for earlier at dinner. I still feel absolutely awful about it."

"It's okay Jungkook, honestly. Y/n always carries an epi-pen for both of them. Even if Eun had eaten some, she would've been okay."

"So then, that whole "she'll die in minutes, you'll die in seconds" thing was y/n just messing with me, right?"

"Of course, no chance she'd let Eun get even close to dying."

Jungkook relaxes just enough sipping his coffee to choke on it when Ji Wo continued, “But she might still kill you, that wasn't a joke." Jimin smacks his friend's back until he settles.

After dinner, you took the twins to the guest house to get ready for bed. Everyone else stayed behind and congregated towards the living room to properly catch up with Ji Wo. Before getting married, the boys saw her around all the time. Since then, they only see her on the rarest occasions. It sucks, but that's the way it has to be.

"Anyways, thank you all for letting us stay here. I know it's not everyday you guys get the chance to go on vacation."

All of you were staying at BTS's vacation home out on Daecheong Island. Technically it was Jin's vacation home, but since he always said yes when the member's wanted to use it, no one bothered listening to his empty protests anymore.

The island is located in northern South Korea; just west of Seoul. The home was well secluded, on the coastline with plenty of space and privacy, about an hour or so from the nearest town. It was a favorite place for the boys to get away since they had true privacy while there, but could still feel like they were at home. And rarely if ever would they draw attention while in town. The locals knew who they were but lived their own lives on the island and didn't care to bother them.

Namjoon pats Ji Wo's back, "Don't worry about it. We're happy to have you." "Yeah. No filming, practices, recording schedules," Jin stretches back in his chair, "no responsibilities what so ever. Plus now, you and the little ones are here? Talk about a good time." He turns towards Ji Wo though, momentarily becoming serious, "And no one knows where we are. Promise." The rest of the group offers reassurance to Ji Wo.

Hoseok leans in close to his sister, "You didn't tell anyone where you were going right? Didn't have any issues?" She shakes her head no. Anyone else would think that the boys were worried about people finding out where they were. But Ji Wo knew the truth. They wanted to make sure no one knew where she was. Especially her children.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Flashback

You remembered the first and only time that you had met Ji Wo's ex-husband. It was the twins' third birthday party and the first of many without their father. Ji Wo pulled out all the stops to try and make it as special as possible. There ended up being just enough commotion for him to sneak in through the side gate.

You'd heard plenty about how he lost custody of the twins due to his alcoholism, and how more than once it led him to put his hands on the them. Not to mention the few screws he had loose in the head. He'd never do anything less than swear he loved his children more than anything and just wanted to be a family. But after putting Ji Wo and the twins in the hospital, twice, he didn't stand a chance in court. At the final hearing he reeked of alcohol and rambled on about making Ji Wo pay for stealing his children from him. He was detained for disorderly conduct and Ji Wo won sole custody.

There wasn't a word from him after that so no one expected him to show up that day.

You didn't know what he looked like, but the new stench of alcohol in the air and screams from Chin-hae was more than enough information. "Oh come on son, I brought you a present...I think?" The drunk stumbled around trying to feel for the nonexistent gift. Every child ran to their parents as you ushered them all inside the house. Ji Wo didn't have security then, and this was the moment to change that.

Chin-hae and Eun clung to Ji Wo's legs, remembering enough of their father to be afraid. "Seo-Jun. What are you doing here." He acted genuinely offended by her comment, "Is it not my children's birthdays? Their father should be here." He staggered closer and Ji Wo struggled not to shake more than she already was. "N-No. You, should leave. The restraining order-" "TO HELL WITH THAT PIECE OF PAPER!" His outburst even made you jump. You needed to hurry and make sure everyone was safe inside before going to help Ji Wo. Only a few more people and then you would be free to kick his pasty ass.

"Seo-Jun please, you're drunk; you're scaring the kids." "Oh, well then," his posture straightens and eyes go dark, "i'm suddenly feeling very sober. No need to be scared now. Come on kids, give your dear old dad a big hug." Only a sour breath away from them and both kids were soaked in their tears. They cried "Mom no! Don't make us!" "We'll be good! PLEASE!!" "MOM!?" Ji Wo clung onto them as hard as she could without hurting them. She took two steps back for every one Seo-Jun made. "Come on guys, you're not being very nice. You can't still be mad about last time right? I said sorry. And hey! I have some new friends for you to meet." Three men entered the backyard with eyes glued to the kids. "Seo-Jun please! Don't do this!?" "Ji Wo. Honey, you know I won't ask again," he holds out his arms, "Hand them over." When the men start advancing Ji Wo drops down to her knees to shield her children as best she could. But she was crying just as hard as they were, just as terrified.

One man had his hand on Eun's flailing leg for less than a second before being drop kicked by you running at full speed. He didn't get up until the ambulance arrived. Without hesitating you go after the next one, throwing hit after hit until he falls and doesn't get up. The third pulls out a knife and you see red. Knives, real knives like these, sent you into an unstoppable rage. You had plenty of reasons to hate them, and even more to hate Seo-Jun. The man took a few swipes at you before taking a misstep and gives you the opening you need. A single move and you get ahold of the knife, toss it, and start breaking as many of his bones as possible. This wasn't just about stopping a kidnapping anymore, it was making sure they suffered as much as time allowed you.

This would be the first time Ji Wo and the kids see you fight; see you turn into a monster, "Y/n?" and Hoseok. The look on your face must have terrified him because he stumbles back before being able to focus on the situation. Hoseok runs to help Ji Wo, taking Chin-hae so the four can make a faster break for the house.

Seeing his plan go to shit, Seo-Jun makes a last ditch effort to grab at least one of the kids. He takes after Ji Wo and Eun but luckily he's a lot slower than you are. You drop the near lifeless body you'd been breaking and sprint after him. He sees you coming and his desperation overtakes logic. Seo-Jun reaches into his jacket, "You're not taking them away again bitch! Let's see how you like it!!"

*CLICK*

"Y/N!!"

*BANG!*

A silent cry forces its way out. You're hands radiating fire from the new hole in the side of it. Your panicked reflex led to sloppy technique in redirecting the barrel of the gun from Eun. you can't let it slow you down. A left hook and solid kick to the side of his knee and Seo-Jun crumbles. Working through the pain, you knock the gun out of his hand and jump on top of him, hitting him with everything you've got; every punch you know with all the strength you have left. You couldn't feel anything from your right hand up to your elbow, 'guess I'll just have to keep going until it comes back.'

-

You don't know how long it's been, could be minutes maybe only seconds, but Seo-Jun had stopped moving. You know that you should probably quit now, but hearing Eun scream for you a moment ago was far too close to home. You knew that sound; you're brother made that sound. And the more you remembered it, the more it seemed this high you were on would never end. You didn't want it to. You hated Seo-Jun for everything he's done and for everything he reminded you of. The life you fought through Hell to escape from. If he lived through this, you swore you'd finish him off for good one day.

Your ears were still ringing from the gunshot but a voice fought it's way through. "y/n...Y/N! You have to stop! It's okay now! You need to calm down! Please!" If Hoseok would be honest with himself, he was too afraid of you to do more than scream from a safe distance, let alone try and touch you. The way you weren't letting up on Seo-Jun's body even for a moment. He looked over at the man you had been beating up when he arrived. His body was crumpled and folded over like a distorted carcass. It was inhumane; indigestible. He knew parts of your past but seeing it manifest in front of him? he didn't imagine being this afraid of you. Would you ever hurt him? How thin was this line you toed? Did he know you at all- "AHH-!"

*BANG!*

Hoseok doesn't move when blood splatters across his face. He can't even will his tears the courage to fall. He had been too lost in thought to realize the second man you attacked had gotten up. How he had only been step or two away from him, gripping his partners knife. He didn't notice how swiftly you turned and shot him with Seo-Jun's gun. Square between the eyes without blinking your own. You killed a man without hesitation, totally relaxed with zero remorse.

The only thing strong enough to pull you out of your rampage was someone you loved being in harms way. No amount of rage could trump the urge to protect them, and only once they were safe would you feel yourself come back to earth. You stood up, back in reality, but Hoseok was still lost in the clouds. Only a few moments ago he was debating the origins of your soul, now he knew you were his guardian angel. If not for you he would be a pile of sliced meat right now, or Ji Wo, or even the twins. They could have been taken like Seo-Jun wanted or worse, also like Seo-Jun wanted. Ji Wo was helpless to stop it and he arrived too late regardless. You knew all of this already, that's why you fought for them. With all of your heart you protected Hoseok's family; his whole world, and now him too. He'd never be able to repay you.

"D.I.P.D.! Drop the gun! Hands up both of you!"

"Backyard is secure."

"Roger that. Civilians are all accounted for and inside of the home is secure."

"We've got four bodies; call for another ambulance." "Yes sir."

"Check for pulses and take those two into custody already!" "Sir!"

The next month was nothing but back to back court hearings, being shuffled to and from your holding cell, and meeting with lawyers before and afterwards. Everyone who was at the birthday party had to testify in court, then they were free to go. But almost every one stayed throughout the entire trial. Your motives weren't lost on them; they knew what a monster Seo-Jun was and it was obvious what he was there to do. Each testimony painted you as the selfless hero who saved the day. Mounted against Seo-Jun was a multitude of eye witness testimonies, means and motive, forensic evidence, the crime scene report, and the irrefutable security camera footage. Seo-Jun's remaining accomplices got 18 months by accepting a plea deal while Seo-Jun himself received 3 years, eligible for early release after 2 on good behavior.

Normally with the amount of evidence against Seo-Jun, this case would have been open and shut in a matter of days. But in private you were being psychologically evaluated and cross examined by both teams and the judge personally, to determine your own fate. Your personal file, although sealed from the public and PI Investigations, had to be taken into consideration. In the end you were cleared of all charges and free to go. If anyone asked, the delay in your release was due to some "administrative issue with the paperwork or whatever" and so you spent that time just sitting in your cell counting sheep.

During your release, "We know who Seo-Jun is y/n. Be careful," the judge leans in close as you walk past her and whispers, "stay close to those kids." That decided your fate, whatever that may come to be. This wasn't over; Seo-Jun would be back, so not a day would go by that you weren't by their sides.

You were prepared for the worst when you saw the Jung's again. You thought they'd call you a monster and tell you to stay away. But tears poured from your eyes when Chin-hae and Eun crashed into your legs and refused to let you leave them again. Ji Wo's hug surprised you most, you two had never hugged before. She immediately hired you as the kids' personal bodyguard but if anyone asked you were their nanny. (A secondary role you fell into). She moved you into one of the spare bedrooms of her new undisclosed address and location home, just down the hall from the kids' rooms. She told you to do what you want with the room; paint it, rearrange it, knock out a wall, you name it. Then gave you a personal black card to use how you like. You told her it was all too much, trying to remain humble and modest, but it just made her cry. She couldn’t comprehend how else she could repay you for what you did for her and the kids, not that she felt this even amounted to enough.

Next you hand picked her new security detail. Each candidate had to fight you in hand-to-hand combat as the final test, and whoever didn't go down in 30 seconds made the cut. One of them managed to land a hit and became head of security, also your fill in whenever you weren't around.

Hoseok hadn't come around the first few days after your release. 'Why would he, he saw what I can really do. What i'm really like.' Ji Wo would tell you not to worry or think too much, that he probably just needed a bit more time to process some things.

You woke up on morning and were instantly suspicious, "What?" Ji Wo just kept smiling ang giggling to herself on the couch, "Oh, nothing. Just a funny book." "You're not reading a book-" "Oh the door! I wonder who that could be." You turn to the guard stationed in the main hallway, "She hasn't been drinking has she?" "No ma'am."

Ji Wo prances back into the room, "It's for you!" then off into the kitchen. "Ji Wo I know you're pretending; you haven't cleaned a single dish in 6 years." "Just go to the door?!" You shuffle down the hall, "I hope your mystery guest doesn't mind me looking like hell!"

"They don't,"

you stop.

"They think you always look pretty great actually."

"Hoseok..."

He stood at the door holding your favorite flowers and dressed to the nines, "What is this, what are you doing?" He stepped through the threshold, "Can I come in? I don't want to end up like the last guy who didn't ask you." His joke was stupid and inappropriate but he laughed like a goofball all the same. You tried to smile but couldn't stop the frown from forming. You look down at your feet suddenly feeling ashamed and embarrassed in front of Hoseok. He closes the door and puts down the flowers. He holds your hands in his, "What's wrong?" "Nothing I," 'I was afraid you hated me,' "I just missed you. You haven't been around since..." The words were stuck in your throat and you were at a loss at how to get them out. "I thought..." He understood, "Hey no, no. I'll admit I did need some time to process what happened but, I could never..." 'I'm not afraid of you,' He cupped your face and lifted it to make sure you heard this next part, "I owe you my life y/n. You saved all of us, and that's not something that a bad person would do. I could never be afraid of you; I love you." You wiped a stray tear and playfully punched Hoseok in the shoulder, "Hobi don't," "What? I don't mean like that!" You both laughed. It was a relief to feel like things were back to normal between the two of you.

"You know what I mean." "Yeah I do. I love you too Hoseok. Now seriously, what is all of this; what's with the get up?" "Oh, well I was worried that you might be feeling a little down so I wanted to treat you to a day out! Starting with breakfast at that fancy restaurant you like." "The one with the giant fish tank? And we get to pick out which fish we want to eat?!" "Yes now hurry up and go get dressed, our reservation's in 45 minutes." Your sprint towards your room looked the exact same as the twins. Passing the kitchen you hear Ji Wo, "He's feeding you isn't he." "YUP! My favorite!" “Bring me back some-" "Absolutely not!"

20 minutes later and you're speeding back down the stairs dressed and ready to go. "There's no need to pull me out the door like this! We have a reservation; we won't have to wait to eat-"

"But all the good fish could already be gone! I want one so fat and juicy it has rolls!"

"Fish don't have rolls-y/n you're drooling on my sleeve-Ew it's on my hand! Let go already!"

You shove his body into the car and jump in after him, "Let's go Dae-Hyun! Get us there in 10 minutes and i'll get you whatever you want to eat." "Deal."

"Don't you mean i'll get him-?"

"Not now Hoseok I have to focus. Momma's going fishing."

Hoseok rolls his eyes at your theatrical evil grin, "For someone with a shellfish allergy you're too excited to eat fish."

"What can I say, I go wherever the spirits lead me."

"You're not spiritual."

"I am when they lead me to fish."

End of Flashback

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Good night honey. Sweet dreams." You had already finished tucking Chin-hae into bed and now it was his sisters turn. "Sweet dreams y/n. You'll be here when I wake up right?" "Always." You kiss her forehead and turn off the lights when you leave. You went down the hall to your room to change into something more comfortable before heading back out to the main house. Security had already been stationed around the guest house, so you felt okay leaving the twins here alone for a while. On your way out, you passed by the kid's room once more, 'Eun must have been really tired. How has her snoring never woken up Chin-hae before.’

You smile thinking about those rascals on your walk back to the main house.

Jung Chin-hae and Jung Eun.

Your favorite people in the whole world. A fact that hurt Hoseok's feelings even though he felt the same way. He never knew if because of his lifestyle, he would ever actually find true love, get married, and have children of his own. So his niece and nephew were the closest that he was going to get, and he loved them with all of his heart.

Ji Wo chose Chin-hae's name because it means 'depth of the ocean.' Going to the beach and being on the water was something that she craved constantly while she was pregnant with them. It was her escape and sense of peace while she faced struggles in her personal life. She had recurring dreams about sailing off with her children, away from their problems, and starting new lives as mermaids living happily in the sea. When they were born Chin-hae came out first, technically making him older, and it's how he acted. He was a textbook caring and protective big brother to his sister. His emotions could sometimes get the better of him (as demonstrated at dinner) but he had the biggest heart and was so thoughtful. Especially when it came to Eun.

Eun's name was chosen without a second thought. As soon as she opened her eyes, she looked up at Ji Wo with shining silver eyes. As beautiful as they were, there was concern. The doctors did some tests and found out that Eun was colorblind. They explained, in laymen's terms, that the parts of the eye that perceived color hadn't developed and therefor lacked pigment. That's why her eyes looked silver, and how Ji Wo chose her name.

When the two got older, Ji Wo tried explaining that Eun was colorblind, but Chin-hae didn't understand and thought that she meant Eun was completely blind. This misunderstanding created many memories that you'll never forget. You laugh to yourself thinking about one of your favorites. Chin-hae was constantly by his sister's side since learning that she was 'blind'. He was always holding her hand, trying to do everything for her, even tried brushing her teeth every now and then. One time you had called them to dinner but heard the two yelling at each other in the other room.

"Careful Eun! You have hold my hand, there's a step, you'll fall!"

"No I won't! I do it myself!"

"You can't! You're blind!"

"Nu uh! I see you!"

"No! You not see anything!"

Eun gasped, "I not see you?"

"No!"

She immediately started bawling her eyes out, "No oppa, I not see you!"

Chin-hae did his best to comfort her and grabbed her hand, "Hush Eun, it's okay. You always just hold me, like this."

He walked her over to the table and sat like nothing had happened but you couldn't wait to relay it all to Ji Wo. It was the sweetest thing watching him make her plate and then try to feed her. Ji Wo had to explain things a few more times before they finally understood what she meant. Even so, he still describes every color that he sees to her whenever she asks. You often daydream that that's how things could have been with you and your brother.

You let the bitter-sweet memory fade away when you enter the living room and take a seat next to Hoseok. ‘Of course he was saving me a seat next to him.’ He nuzzles himself into your side and carries on talking about the upcoming festival on the island. No one listens to a word he says because how could they? Did he just willingly throw himself into the lions den? What were you going to do they thought,

‘is she going to gouge out his eyes?’

‘Stab him for invading her space?’

‘Pull out his hair?’

‘Use his bones to make her bread-? Oh wait no that’s Shrek.’

Your only reaction though is to put your arm around him and listen to his rambling about this festival. You never bored of your ray of sunshine. You could always count on him to lift you up or calm you down. Of everyone you knew, no one was able to explain how the two of you could be so close. With seemingly nothing in common, you were total opposites and not in a cute Christmas romcom type of way. But maybe that was why you loved him so much.

The expectation is that the people who’d like you would look just as scary, be just as off putting, just as much a monster as you knew you really were. Yet it was someone like Hoseok to welcome you into his life. He saw the sliver of a good heart that you still had and spoke life into it.

“You’ll never leave us again.”

“We owe you our lives.”

“You’re not a bad person.”

“I love you y/n.”

Even though you weren’t into holding hands, snuggling on the couch, or going to whatever festival Hoseok was talking about, you’d do it for him. For all of them. So you let him snuggle into your side while you run your fingers through his hair like he liked, and Hoseok plays with your free hand. “-that sound good to you y/n?”

‘God knows what he’s talking about’

“Yeah sounds good Hobi.”

[alj4890]

Angst Prompt

Dawn’s Early Light

(Part Three to One Fateful Night)

As requested by many of you.

(Liam x OC) in a one shot continuation of the angsty One Fateful Night.

A/N Here's some happiness to the angst so many sent messages about. I know it is still bittersweet in a way, with Riley being dead and all, but I think it gives our favorite prince a chance to find true love after all. On another note, I had at one time considered Liam meeting someone in Washington D.C. in another story where Riley died the night of the Homecoming Ball in Book 2. I guess this makes up for deleting it and never posting, LOL.

Part 2 The Dark Before the Dawn

 @kingliam2019 @texaskitten30 @yourmajesty09   @gkittylove99 @krsnlove   @mom2000aggie @twinkleallnight @lodberg @sweatyrysconnoisseur ​ @motorcitymademadame ​

Masterlist

Dawn’s Early Light

Somewhere in Maryland...

"Sir?"

Liam grimaced at the voice coming through loud and clear from his cell phone. The one time he convinced Bastien that he could travel on his own and the man still made certain to call every hour.

"Yes?" He huffed.

"Your current location?"

"That at the moment is a little difficult to pinpoint." Liam squinted through the pouring rain. "One of the roads was flooded and the numerous detours have sent me further east of D.C."

He could hear frantic mutterings in the background, papers shifting and clicks from computers.

"Pull over and we will try to locate you." Bastien ordered.

Liam looked about at the flour lane highway, barely able to see five feet ahead of him. "There isn't a spot to do so. I'll call once I find a safe place."

"Your majesty," he could hear the frustration in his Head of the King's Guards' voice, "this is why I insisted we fly down together."

"And I knew this was my last chance to take a road trip of sorts." Liam countered. "You worry too much, Bastien."

"And you don't worry enough." Bastien muttered. "If you haven't found a place within the next hour, I am coming to find you."

"Make sure to bring a rowboat." Liam teased. "That's probably the best way to travel here."

His jest was met with silence.

"Bastien?" Liam glanced down at his phone and saw the call had dropped. Tossing it back in the passenger seat, he continued on down the road.

*****************

Outside of Annapolis...

"No!" Autumn pleaded when her tire burst. "You've got to be kidding me!"

Pulling over onto the shoulder of the highway, she tried to call her parents.

"Gee, thanks for no bars." She grumbled, chucking her phone back into her purse.

Reaching for her coat she prepared herself mentally to change her own tire.

Why did Dad have to make it so boring? He knew I wouldn't pay attention!

It had been ten years since she had sat through that lesson, day dreaming of the cute guy who sat next to her in chemistry class.

And just like her lack of luck with Mr. Chemistry, she was about to fail miserably with her tire.

She pulled the flashlight and tools out her father insisted she keep in her vehicle at all times and stepped out into the rainstorm.

"Any creepy serial killers out there," she yelled towards the darkened woods that lined the highway, "now is NOT the time to mess with me!"

She paused in removing the jack from her trunk. "That goes for any wild animals unless you're the helpful kind from fairy tales."

She snorted at her own joke as she set reflectors along the road. "And if you know of any princes, do send them my way."

"Alright car, you and I have been through it." She patted it's side. "All the snow storms in Pennsylvania. New jobs. New apartments. Ex boyfriends." She knelt by the flat tire. "Let's get through this and I'll treat you to a tank of premium gas."

She removed the hubcap and blinked when a pair of bright headlights pulled up behind her.

"Didn't I specifically demand no serial killers?" She muttered to herself as she saw the silhouette of a man start walking her way.

"Pardon me?" A cultured voice called out. "Are you in need of any assistance?"

She lifted her hand to shield her eyes from the light. "I wouldn't say no to some help."

Her mystery person stopped a couple of feet away from her and studied her tire.

"Where's the jack?"

She handed it to him and watched as he expertly began to raise the back end up.

"Here's the tool kit." She handed it over, discreetly keeping a screwdriver in her hand in case he was a psycho.

"I hate to keep you out in the rain, but could you shine your flashlight here so I can remove the lug nuts?"

"Right. Of course." She dutifully lifted it where he directed.

"Perfect." He turned to smile at her. "Thank you."

She blinked at how handsome he was. "I, no problem. I should be thanking you."

"My pleasure." He looked around. "I don't suppose you know where we are, do you?"

Oh no. A hot psycho. Just my luck.

"Um, don't you know?" She took a cautious step back.

"I've never been in this part of America before." He explained, unaware of her trepidation. "I lost GPS about two hours ago."

"Oh." She relaxed and stepped closer. "We're about forty-five minutes from Annapolis.

"How far is that from D.C.?" He asked.

"About forty minutes or so depending on traffic." She tilted her head. "Let me guess. You're a politician or aide of some sort."

He chuckled. "Not really."

"You certainly don't sound like the men in Washington."

"Oh? And how do they sound?"

"Arrogant jerks. Every last one of them. Even the mailroom guys act like they rule the world." Her nose wrinkled.

"Ah." Her handsome stranger removed her flat tire and placed the spare on. "Not fond of men in power, I take it."

"Not really." She squatted next to him, hoping she would remember his actions in case she had another flat tire some time in the future. "I guess there's bound to be one man out there who actually wants to serve the people instead of having them serve him."

"I see." He glanced over at her. "I like to think there are honest rulers out there."

Her brow furrowed. "Rulers?" She studied his profile. "You're not American, are you?"

He shook his head. "No."

"Where are you from?" Her eyes narrowed in thought. "Your accent is hard to place."

"Cordonia" he grunted as he tightened the lug nuts. "Have you heard of it?"

"It sounds familiar." She muttered.

"It is a tiny but beautiful country in Europe." He explained.

"Isn’t every European nation?” She teased. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of of one that I would turn down a vacation to.”

He began to lower her car back down with the jack. "All done."

"I don't know how to thank you." She pushed her wet hair back, wondering how horrible she must look as she picked up the safety reflectors

"No need." He smiled warmly. "Have a good evening, my lady." With an instinctive bow, he turned and walked back to his own car.

"My lady?" Her lips quirked with humor. Perhaps the fairy tale animals had sent her a prince. "Hey! Wait!"

He paused with his car door open. "Yes?"

"There's an all night diner a few miles ahead." She took a deep breath. "Would you like to follow me there? We could dry off and I could buy you a piece of pie as a thank you."

Her hero's smile grew brighter. "I'd like that. Lead the way."

********************

"I'm Autumn." She held her hand out as they waited to be seated.

"A pleasure to meet you. My name is Liam." He took her hand and bowed over it.

"Is that how people greet one another in Cordonia?" She asked.

"It is the norm from where I grew up." He responded with a sheepish grin.

He shook her hand. "Is that better?"

"Your way was fine." She glanced down at their clasped hands. "I just feel a little under dressed for such a proper greeting."

"Nonsense." Liam continued to hold her hand. "A little water logged perhaps, but lovely nonetheless."

Her lips parted in surprise.

"Just the two of you?"

The pair turned toward a waitress.

"Yes." Autumn replied. "Just us."

"Follow me." She sat them at a table and handed over some menus. "What can I get you to drink?"

"Coffee, please." Autumn replied.

"I'll have the same." Liam added.

"Coming right up."

*********************

"Autumn?" Liam tested her name. "Were you given that name due to being born in the fall?"

She shook her head. "My parents have a warped sense of humor. I was born in April."

He laughed causing her to smile once more.

She thought his laughter had such a warm encompassing sound that made her want to hear it often as she could.

"They also wanted to have their kids' initials for Pennsylvania." She rolled her eyes. "My older brother, Patrick, took care of the P while I completed it with an A." Her own laughter bubbled out. "Then my unplanned younger brother was born and threw those initials out the door."

"What did they name him?" Liam asked.

"August, since he was born in January. Being that he was a surprise, they went with another A name to have an, aaahhh, moment at the end of P.A.."

Liam shook with his laughter over her parents. "They sound delightful."

"They sound that way," she teased, "but when you live with them..." Her smile softened. "They really are great parents and my brothers aren't too bad either."

"I have an older brother." He told her. "Leo and I were never as close as I wished we could have been. He spends so much time traveling and exploring the world that I don't have the heart to pressure him into coming home more often." A sadness came over him. "I've never seen him so happy as when he sends me pictures from his latest adventure."

"He's a wandering soul." She added.

"Precisely." Liam refocused on her. "And a wanderer withers and dies if tied down."

"What about your parents?" She asked.

"My mother died when I was very young and my father passed away about five years ago." He explained. "I'm close to my stepmother, Regina. She and Leo are all I have left for family."

"I'm sorry." Autumn mumbled. "I didn't mean to dredge up painful--"

Her breath caught when he laid his hand over hers. She thought she could actually feel herself getting lost in his blue eyes...which was something she teased her friends over every time they mentioned something like that. Yet here she was, finding herself falling for a man who changed her tire in the rain.

He gently squeezed her fingers. "Nothing to apologize for. I miss them but I am done grieving."

As their waitress brought them a fresh pot of coffee, Liam realized how true that statement was. He was done grieving for all of his lost loved ones.

******************

"Now then." Liam looked up from his menu. "Do you work in Washington?"

"I do." She replied. "Not in a political aspect though."

"What do you do?" He asked.

"I'm an archivist at the National Air and Space Museum."

His expression brightened with interest. "I've always wanted to visit the Smithsonian. To work and preserve the very fabric of your nation's history must be fascinating."

"It is!" She leaned forward as she became more animated about her work.

Deciding to prolong this conversation, the two ordered a meal before indulging in pie.

Liam listened, asking questions that only made her more excited in sharing this piece of her life.

It was rare for Autumn to find anyone interested in what she did.

"Right now, my team is working on digitizing everything we have on rocket tests during the 1950's." She explained. "Reading through the vast paperwork, various film and photographs, all audio recordings; I get to sift through every bit of it for our records."

"I once assisted an archivist at the palace library." Liam told her. "I discovered long ago manuscripts and journals in a hidden nook." His smile softened at the memory. "It was all by accident. My best friend and I were playing in one of the ballrooms when the soccer ball we were kicking around struck a piece of the baseboards, causing a hidden door to open."

Autumn's eyes widened. "It's a wonder you didn't get in trouble with the palace curators. They do not appreciate anyone playing around the exhibits."

Liam chuckled. "I was lucky the curators were fond of me."

"You knew them?" She asked. "Were they family members?"

"They aren't family, but I did know them." He replied, being deliberately mysterious about who he was.

He hadn't had a normal conversation in years. When she didn't recognize him, he felt a lightness he had felt on that long ago night in New York. He had forgotten how it was, how it made him feel. So often, people said the things they thought he wanted to hear. He missed the back and forth of sharing personal tidbits.

Autumn grimaced when she realized she had basically dominated the conversation for nearly an hour.

"Enough about my work," she smiled at him, "what do you do? Did you come here for business or to finally see the Smithsonian?"

He chuckled before taking a sip of his coffee. "As much as I would prefer spending my days wandering through museums, I am here to meet with government officials."

Her nose wrinkled. "I’m sorry. I do not envy you for that." Her eyebrow lifted. "What's the government like in Cordonia? Do you have a prime minister or something similar to our president?"

"We are a constitutional monarchy with the king as the Head of State." He explained.

"I see. Then you work in some capacity for him?" She continued. "You must to be here for meetings."

Liam lowered his eyes. "I suppose you could say that."

"So what's your job title?" She persisted. "Are you a member of the house of lords or whatever you have? Aide to the king?"

"I have a higher position than anything like that." He hedged. "Which is why I'm the only one to attend these meeting the next couple of weeks."

Her brow furrowed. "The king doesn't handle stuff like that?"

"He does which is why I'm here." He focused on her eyes. "The king is the only one to handle the approval for trade agreements and maintaining friendly relations with other countries."

"Then why isn’t he..." She burst into laughter. "You really had me going there for a moment." She shook her head at him. "Nice try, but no king travels alone on highways in a Nissan Altima."

"I do when I want to appear a regular man." He explained.

"Because isn't that royalty is all about?" She giggled some more. "Living life as a middle class man."

"I'm sincere." He argued. "I really am the King of Cordonia."

Her laughter died. "And just when I thought you weren't mentally unhinged." She sighed while picking at her piece of blueberry pie. "I knew you were too good to be true. No man can be both selfless and handsome without a few screws loose."

Liam's elation she found him attractive caught him by surprise. It wasn't that other women had not said similar to him at various functions. It was that he actually felt attracted to her too.

"I can prove I'm the king."

"How long have you believed you were king?" She asked. "Any chance you've thought you were someone else at one time? Napoleon Bonaparte? King Tut?"

He snorted on his laughter. "I've been king for over six years now. The rest of my life was spent as a prince."

"Uh huh." She poured them each another cup of coffee. "Guess that explains why you weren't banned from the palace for playing soccer."

"It is my home." He pointed out.

"Sure it is." She patted his hand. "And I'm sure you're the best king out there who knows how to change a tire."

"I only know because my best friend taught me." Liam explained. "He was one of the few people in my life who did not allow me to become a spoiled prince."

"Right." She smiled at him. "It's been great and all." She reached into her purse for her wallet. "And I do thank you so much for your help with the flat tire, but I should go."

"You don't believe me?" He asked.

"I believe you believe it." She said cautiously.

Liam quickly pulled his phone out and handed it to her. "Look up Cordonia."

"Just because you think you're a king doesn't mean you can order me around." Her eyes narrowed in warning. "Besides, I wouldn't use your phone. You'd probably have me looking at some doctored photos of yourself."

"Forgive me I didn’t mean to make it sound like a command." Liam ran a hand through his hair. "I've never met anyone who didn't believe I am who I say."

"First time for e everything, huh?" She hesitated when she saw his disappointment. "Fine." She searched for her phone. "I'll play along if you find our waitress. I'm going to need more pie as I research you."

He grinned while doing as she asked.

Autumn wandered of it was because it was the middle of the night that made her sit here with some guy claiming to be--

"No!" Her eyes darted from the images of King Liam of Cordonia to the Liam sitting at her table. "You're really a king?!"

"Would you care for another slice of blueberry or a different type of pie?" He asked with a bright smile.

"Blueberry." Her jaw was still dropped.

"Another slice of blueberry please for the lady and I'll have a slice of apple."

"Why on earth are you traveling lone highways in Maryland?" She asked when their waitress left.

"I flew in to New York for a few meetings with U.N. representatives. Our representative is new to her job and I wanted to encourage her." He explained. "Then I suppose I caught a bit of wanderlust from my brother and wanted to drive down to D.C." He took a bite of his new slice of pie. "It's rare I am able to convince my security team to let me out of their sight, but there are times when I like to be alone with my thoughts."

"I guess you have a lot of people demanding your time." She conceded.

"I do, which is why I make time for the people and activities that are important to me." He looked up at her. "Experience has taught me how fleeting time can be and we should make the most of every moment we are given."

"I like that." She cut into her slice with her fork while scrolling through images of Cordonia. "A lot of people get so easily wrapped up in their work and don't realize that they are missing out on so much more."

"Are you one of those people?"

Autumn paused chewing to consider his question. "Sometimes. I can get so wrapped up in a project and shut out the world going on around me." She shrugged. "Then something happens to shake me back to reality."

Liam grinned when it hit him that his being confirmed king had not changed the way she spoke to him.

As if reading his thoughts, her fork clattered on her plate. "I can't believe you really are a king." Her head tilted as she studied him. "You really don't act like how I imagine one would."

Liam folded his arms on the table and leaned forward. His bright blue eyes held her gray ones. "How should I act?"

She snorted. "For one thing you wouldn't have stood out in the pouring rain to change a tire."

"Aren't fairy tales filled with princes rescuing damsel in distress?" He countered.

She rolled her eyes playfully. "It isn't like you slayed a dragon."

"According to your imagination, what should I have done in that situation?" He countered, delighted with her not putting him on a pedestal.

"First off, if you were on a," she made quotation marks with her fingers, "road trip, you'd probably be in a limo since your private jet is tucked away in a hangar somewhere."

"But then I would have a driver and thus not able to be alone." He reminded her.

"True." She propped her chin on her hand and smiled. "We'll forget the car then since you are chivalrous and in need of a break." She gestured with her free hand around the diner. "A king wouldn't come her, happily order food, nor be willing to sit here for hours listening to some girl talk about museums."

"Why not?" Liam asked. "He could have been hungry since he had been lost for a while."

"I guess that's a reasonable possibility." Autumn muttered.

"And if he wanted to know more about the damsel he rescued, then shouldn't he be at least willing to remain here with her?"

"Maybe." She forced herself to look away from him. "Then again, maybe this is a night for things out to the ordinary to happen." She asked their waitress for their check.

Autumn shushed his arguments, insisting on paying for his meal.

At that moment, Bastien and some guards walked in.

Liam's eyes widened. "Bastien? How did you find me?"

"We have a tracker on your phone, your majesty." He explained. "We really need to get you to Washington. You have an early morning of..."

Liam tuned him out and focused once more on the lady he had met tonight.

"It's my fault." Autumn spoke up. "I wanted to thank Liam with some pie for his help earlier."

She stood up and held her hand out. “Thank you again for helping me.”

Liam pressed a soft kiss to her knuckles. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Autumn."

"I..." She could feel her entire body blush with that simple touch. "I'm happy to have met you too, Liam." She grimaced. "I mean, your majesty. Should I curtsy?"

He chuckled. "Just Liam with no curtsey is fine."

"Liam no curtsey." She winked at him. "Nice name for a king." Nodding farewell toward his guards, she slipped out of the restaurant.

Liam watched her drive off from one of the windows.

He wondered if he had just met the one.

[exclipssesss]

You're perfect, no matter what he says about you. [x reader]

Headcanons of all my current fav characters from different fandoms. This was supposed to be something just to emotionally heal me. So this does kinda based off real life experience, except the part where the bois comfort me, man why can't i buy these guys in ebay as my legal husbands?

Characters involved: Alastor [Hazbin Hotel], Lafayette [Hamilton The Musical].

Would probabpy make part two with other characters uwu

Warnings: Cursing, Physical abuse, Parental abuse, The mention of Anxiety.

Summary: S/o never had a great relationship with their dad, and after another fight (which ended horribly wrong) someone decided to comfort them.

Alastor.

Hazbin Hotel.

You were in the Hotel, coolio. Basically you were chilling on the couch when suddenly you fell asleep, and after a few hours passed you woke up to find yourself in your room with blankets covering you, you were confused on how you get there.

You then get out of bed and noticed charlie calling you, probably a new demon that wanna check into the hotel.

You saw a demon that is kind of similar to you but wAy more big and looked kind of scary, he was holding a cigarette. At first you shrugged it off since having the same form of a demon can both mean you guys have made the same sin, or you are related.

You didn't really mind it at first until you asked him to sign in to the hotel, and he looked at you as if you're stupid. He laughed that everyone draws their attention to the both of you, you laughed with him to avoid being awkward.

"You do realize that i am nowhere wanting to go to this stupid ass hotel right? Pathetic, demons wanting to do some redemption just to go to heaven? They can't even take their own consequences of being a dick. Yeah no bitch, i ain't going to this hotel, especially if it filled with pussies"

You stumbled back, he was similar to you but is nothing like you. Yes you swore, a lot, but not this harsh. He basically scowls at you and you just gave him a light glare back. He didn't seem to notice it tho.

Then, it snapped inside your head. No wonder his voice was so familiar. You looked at him and took the chance to find out, if it is true, then you're probably double dead. But you convince yourself that even if he tries to hurt you, you were at the hotel, someone is bound to help you.

"Um, oh, i forgot to introduce myself.. I'm [Y/n] [L/n], nice to meet you.. Sir.."

And you were right. His eyes was wide for a second before it was replaced with disgust, he yanked your hand and you almost lost your balance.

"Of-fucking-course you are. Now wonder your voice reminds me of some bitch. No surprise seeing you here in hell tho, you were always nothing but a disappointment. Even god thinks so."

You basically trembled as eyes were sticking on both you and your "father". He then let's go of you harshly and you stumbled back before falling, demons around weren't helping either. Although some of them gave you pitiful looks, so you decided that maybe they just too scared to interfere. I mean, you would too.

"See? Pathetic. Even as a demon you're trash, and now you're trying to do this whole hotel thing? HahaA--"

Something pulled your dad back, and he was met by a pair of a sickeningly dark pair of eyes that you've known too well.

"Excuse me sir, but I'm pretty sure that that kind of behaviour is not allowed here."

Your "father" was surprised to see Hell's one of the most powerful demons defending you, he almost gives out a somewhat proud smirk, only for it to turn into a scoff. Thankfully, he was decent enough not to mess with Alastor, as he immediately got out the doors and hopefully not coming back.

"My dearest, are you alright?" oh and he comforts you throughout the day too, he almost swears to kill your dad (if that's even possible) but you immediately told him not to.

Either way, he is precious and would do anything for you. Would recommend getting yourself an Alastor, 10/10.

Marquis de Lafayette.

Hamilton: an American musical.

Hamiltime.

(I'm changing the writing style just becuz I'm in the mood)

You just got back from a long day hanging out with the Schuyler Sisters, and also the boys of course. Funnily enough, you and Peggy get along really well, and for the boys? Lafayette's definitely your favorite. Actually he's more than just your 'favorite', you're not even sure yourself, you just felt safe and nice inside when you're around him.

"Where do you think you're going?"

A familiar deep voice that you've been scared for so long spoke up, you stopped dead on your tracks, trying to look calm. You then turned around to be met with a pair of deadly sharp and dark eyes piercing through you, in which you quietly gulped in response.

"I'm sorry i came back late, dad. I was with the Schuyler Sisters and-"

"You really think I'll believe that lying mouth of yours?"

Those words caught you off guard since you are, for a fact, not lying. You really were with Angelica and the others, and so you gave him your 'what are you talking about?' face, and he did not like that. He approached you, and you slowly but surely walked backwards, in hopes of getting away from him. When he was only a few inches from you, he spoke up again.

"Don't you fucking lie to me, who was that man with you? Who the fuck was he?" His voice low with growl as he fixed his sight to yours. You took another gulp of your own spit as he was starting to push you into a corner.

"I wasn't lying! I really was with The Sisters, that boy is just one of ou-"

Slapped

You could feel the hot print on your left cheek as it was burning with pain from the sudden hit, you hold it with your arm. This time you had enough, it was enough living in a world where girls don't have any rights, and you were absolutely not gonna let this man use that against you. Even if he is your blood.

"I'll ask you again, and this time i want an answer, not a rambling about some nonsense you pulled out of your ass."

You looked at him dead in the eye before finally giving an answer.

"Marquis de Lafayette. There, you have it. May i go now?" You said with disgust and anger lacing in every word. This made your so called dad shut up, before forcefully yanked you away. You ran to your room and find yourself falling asleep while crying, at this point all you wanna do was die. With all the smell of cigarettes and alcohol, you basically almost puked, and you still can't believe your mom left you with him. When you woke up, you checked the time. 11:36. At this rate, you could barely sleep again, and you didn't want to be in a house with that jerk anyways, so a brilliant-yet-kinda-dumb idea came to mind. You got out of the house quietly, you didn't want to even try spending the night there anymore, and to be honest, you didn't know where to go.

You could visit the Schuyler Sisters, yes, but going to the Schuyler Mansion at this time of night? Maybe not. You couldn't go to one of the boys' house either, that's just weird. And you didn't want to look like slut. So your thoughts just came to that one place, the place you and the rest of the gang met. The place where you and Lafayette met. The bar. Plus it's open twenty/four hours so it's not like you'll be trespassing.

And so you did what you thought you did. You go there, at first you thought that you would probably be alone in the bar considering how late it is, and that's a good thing considering the red burning mark on your cheek haven't left yet. But nope. The bar was actually kinda noisy, you looked inside to see Alex and his friends there getting drunk, and so you tried to avoid eye contact and go back outside. Well that was your plan until a certain drunk frenchman called you out.

"Mon amie, (Y/n)! Why are you here at this time of night? A beautiful mademoiselle like you shouldn't do that~" Lafayette slurred almost every word as he is drunk. You stopped dead on your tracks and turned around to smile at them, using your hair to cover the bruises left on your cheek. As you looked closely, you could see that Alexander is probably the only sober one out of the group, and not actually drunk.

"Yeah (Y/n), why are you here? Oh, you can come join us if you want to." Alex, the only stable one at the moment continued.

"That's a great idea Al! Come, mon amie! I'll buy you a drink."

Lord tell me how to say no to this-- But seriously, you wanted to go so badly but you barely even could walk out the moment you saw that smile. And so you just had to walk back, which all the boys cheered on.

"What's wrong, (Y/n)? You're awfully quiet,"

"Yeah, most of the time you're basically the one who can't shut up."

"Yo, talk if you want a free booze."

And yet you kept silent, although a silent chuckle can be heard only by yourself did rang through your ears. The boys were starting to get worried, especially with your new hairdo that covered half of your face.

"Huh, someone's actually denying free booze, something is wrong" Hercules said as he rubbed his nonexistent beard, Laurens just tried to swipe your hair away but you quickly slapped his hands away as soon as it was near your face.

"Sheesh, no touching your new hair, i get it. No need to slap me for it." He said with almost looks like a pout, this time the frenchman was asking you questions, and you didn't want to answer. But in the same time, you don't have the heart to ignore him.

"(Y/n), please, tell me what's wrong.. Why are you covering your face?" and now, you also wanted to die. That face, that damned face, god why can't you just ignore it like anyone else's? You let out a sigh as you finally lets all those emotions loose. Tears were pouring down your face almost as fast as Hercules chugging down a beer, and you could barely took any control of them. You buried your face in Laff's shoulder, him petting your head as you realease all your burdens and tears at the same time. The others were stunned, but is confused on what to do, so they just wait for you to stop crying before saying anything that could make you more emotional, if that's even possible.

You wiped your tears, and when you go to wipe the remaining liquid on your left eyes, you unconsciously exposed the big red mark on your left cheek. Boy, little did you know that they'll immediately turn into interrogators in less than a minute.

"(Y/n). What is this?" Hercules' voice rang first with what seems like anger, second came Alex, with his voice that sounded way more than just 'worried'.

"Who the fuck did this?" He said as he tried to put your hair behind your ear, you avoided his touch and just sinks more into Lafayette's embrace, who's weirdly being quiet through this, although his gaze didn't seem to left you at all.

"(Y/n), Let us take a look. I can't believe someone actually did that to you." It's true, you never told anyone about your 'daddy issues', you didn't want to gain any pitty. Time went on and it's almost One AM now, Laff's gaze didn't seem to have left you, in fact, they were stern, it didn't helped the fact that he haven't said anything in the past hour.

You ended up getting cornered and so you told them, about everything that was happened last night. They. Were. Furious. It didn't surprise you though, if your friend were going through the same thing, you'd probably ready to murder someone too.

"(Y/n), does zis 'ave something to do with me?" You immediately flinched. The reason you were slapped was because you didn't want to tell your dad about Lafayette, and he basically could see it through you. He immediately cursed himself, blaming everything that he thought he did wrong. With a little explanation and help from Alex and the others, you got him to calm down and kissed him in his cheek. In which he responds with a blush acrossed his face.

In the end, Lafayette asked you to stay with him for a while and said it was "the least he could do." Basically you were treated like a princess, nothing major happened other than cuddles and venting, he would pat your head and hold you close when you started crying. Sometimes he would kiss your forehead and says sweet nothings to you. He insisted to sleep on the couch while you took the bed, and ever since, the guys would act like your brothers, especially Laurens and Mulligan, they would actually shower you with new dresses and act proud whenever you and Lafayette had "a step forward". (They became your personal wingmans too.)

Not long after, The schuylers took you in, or more like - dragged you in. Philip Schuyler had left the Mansion to his daughters, and so which give them the opportunity to make you their roommates. You four would just chill at night and trash talk your dad when wanted to. (courtesy of big sis Angie™).

Alex on the other hand, was determined to make your dad looked like a fool, even though you told him countless times that he didn't need to do that. He would write about your dad with headlines like "Man Treats Daughter Worse Than Slave" or something like that. In which you laughed about, somehow you still feel bad about the amount of hate your dad gives, but you also feel as if he deserves it for hitting you all those years.

The last but not least, Lafayette. The man asked you out after you moved with the Schuylers, he said he's lonely now that you're not with him and he missed you, he also said that was the time he realized he had feelings for you. You immediately said yes and have been courting with him ever since. Honestly he's just the embodiment of love and cuddles, and you love him for every support he gave you.

[kuramirocket]

In some ways, what happened to Mexican Americans in the Southwest happened time and again throughout American history. Promises were made to the community, but many were never kept.

“I just don't think people get the passion that's attached to this,” said Rita Padilla-Gutierrez, whose community has lost tens of thousands of acres of ancestral land over generations. “It's the history, for God's sake. Plain and simple. Your language, your customs, your food, your traditions. But for us, it's being a land-based people.”

What we now consider the Southwest wasn’t part of the United States at all 172 years ago -- it was the northernmost part of Mexico. In 1845, the U.S. annexed Texas, which Mexico considered part of its territory. This spurred a long and bloody war with Mexico and, ultimately, Mexico ceded half its country to the U.S.

The agreement between the two countries was immortalized in the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo, which gave around 100,000 Mexican nationals living in those territories citizenship if they decided to stay. More importantly, the agreement protected the rights of any Mexican whose land was now a part of the U.S.

“When Mexico negotiates the treaty in good faith, assuming that all of its citizens' rights will be respected, what it doesn't understand is that for the United States, only whites have the rights to full citizenship,” said María Josefina Saldaña-Portillo, author of “Indian Given: Racial Geographies Across Mexico and the United States.” “[Shortly after the treaty,] territorial governments systematically go about disenfranchising all Mexican citizens who they deem to not be white.”

Indeed, when the treaty was sent to Congress, the Senate removed the article that laid out the process by which the land would be protected.

In 1848, there were 154 communities in New Mexico to whom the U.S. government guaranteed land. But most of those agreements, or land grants, were never honored. Today, only 35 communities remain.

While the country prospered, the treaty would forever change the fate of generations of Mexican Americans to come.

Heirs to land that’s been owed for generations

“There's a huge disparity here in terms of poverty and [in] terms of education,” Arturo Archuleta, a land grant heir in New Mexico, told “Nightline.” “These communities have been left behind.”

Heirs like Archuleta are working to get reparations for the land that was taken from their communities, which existed long before the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo was even created, according to Jacobo Baca, a historian with the University of New Mexico’s Land Grant Studies Program.

“It's beyond [a] sense of place,” Baca said. “Our identity is tied to place, but we don't see that place having an identity without us, either. So it defines us just as much as we define it.”

At the University of New Mexico, a collection of documents shows how a variety of land grants were vastly diminished over the years. One of the documents showed how an agreement for over 40,000 acres was reduced to less than 1,400 acres.

“I think for land grant heirs, there's this recognition that this treaty was a promise that was made that wasn't kept, and that the federal government owes the recognition of these communities,” Baca said.

Archuleta is an heir to the Manzano and the Tierra Amarilla land grants.

“We come from Spanish communities that came over, [and from] Native American communities as well,” Archuleta said. “So we really are sort of mestizo. We're mixed… We're a land-based people. Half of our soul was here before Columbus ever hit the sand.”

Archuleta says that these communities should be able to thrive where they are.

“It's not just surviving, but thriving. Our cultural connections are still in place,” he said. “The land grant and the treaty issues is probably what you consider the first Latino issue in this country, and it's still unresolved.”

Padilla-Gutierrez’s family in New Mexico has also seen its land vanish over time. For centuries, she said the family has been living in the area near Tomé Hill in Valencia County. Now a hiking trail and site for religious pilgrims, its hillsides are filled with petroglyphs and its summit contains several large crosses.

“We have very deep, deep native roots here,” Andrea Padilla, Padilla-Gutierrez’s sister, told “Nightline.”

Padilla-Gutierrez said their land used to encompass 123,000 acres but that it has since been reduced to only 400 acres.

“America owes us the opportunity to take care of our own communities,” Padilla-Gutierrez said.

“I think regaining some of our land back would be justice,” her sister added.

The family still has the patent it was given to honor the land grant.

“It's signed by Ulysses Grant, who was president at the time -- seal and everything -- granting us that our land grant will continue to be ours again,” Padilla said. “But then later, they stole our mountains.”

The Tomé land grant lost 50,000 acres to the federal government in 1906. Like many others who held land grants, the family later had to sell their land.

“It hurt my father deeply, because he fought to the very end, telling people, ‘You can't do this. … Once you sell your land, that's it, you're nothing. You lose your culture. You lose everything,’” Padilla said.

Her sister says their family’s land should’ve never been sold. The community lost more than acreage, she said. They “lost their way of life.”

The betrayal of these land grants sowed racism that still exists today

Mexican American culture has been maligned for generations, and the racism born out of that continues to be espoused at the highest levels of government today.

The president himself famously kicked off his bid for office by saying Mexican immigrants are “bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists.” And as recently as June, The White House suggested that travel from Mexico was contributing to COVID-19 infections rather than states’ efforts to reopen their economies.

“It does hit me in the heart,” Padilla said. “We always worked hard... And we did the right thing. So when they talk about lazy Mexicans or, ‘These Mexicans are all drug dealers and murderers,’ I'm, like, ‘Where? I haven't seen that. I'm not [one].’ You know?”

Saldaña-Portillo says this bigotry results from Mexican natives’ land being given to white settlers.

“[It helped create] the representation of Mexicans as these barbarous Indians,” she said. “That's annunciated every day when we hear Mexicans described as rapists, murderers and thieves.”

Archuleta said he's not surprised that there's racism in the U.S. because in communities like his, racism had "never gone away."

“We've always felt it,” he said. “We've always known it. We've seen it. We've been on the receiving end of it, either through the institutions, through the bureaucracies or at the individual level.”

Juan Sanchez, a sixth-generation native of the Chililí Land Grant in New Mexico, remembers activist Reies Lopez Tijerina of the 1960s.

“We are called the forgotten people,” Sanchez said. “He came to New Mexico preaching the treaty and preaching and telling the people that they were gonna lose their land.” Tijerina was a major figure in the Chicano Movement of the 1960s and 1970s, which sought to reclaim Mexican Americans’ indigenous heritage and original territories.

“They were articulating it concretely, saying, ‘We have these land grants and we want these land grants honored as per the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo,’” Saldaña-Portillo said.

Tijerina’s story culminates in June 1967, when he led an armed raid on a courthouse in Tierra Amarilla, New Mexico, to free imprisoned activists and place a citizen’s arrest on the district attorney who ordered a police crackdown on them.

“They were gonna go make a citizen’s arrest and so it just got outta hand from there. The frustration of not being heard just exploded,” Sanchez said. “They [had] put all the heirs of different land grants that were the followers of Tijerina in a corral like sheep.”

In the ensuing shootout, two police officers were wounded and two hostages were taken as the activists fled Tierra Amarilla. After a week-long manhunt, Tijerina surrendered. He was found guilty of assault on a federal officer and sentenced to two years in prison.

“He opened our eyes. He taught us,” Sanchez said. “He always said, ‘Change the law,’ and we've always tried that.”

For fellow land grant heir and activist Steve Polanco, this fight is personal. His family has lived on Tierra Amarilla since the late 1800s, and now in his 60s, he is the president of the Tierra Amarilla Land Grant.

“We took a stand that … the only way we were gonna be taken from here … was dead,” Polaco said.

Polaco said the original stewards of the land shared 550,000 acres and that they would help each other.

“These mountains were full of herds of sheep, herds of pigs that were being taken care of,” Polaco said. “They’d head off for the day and they’d take care of their flocks, pigs, herds of horses all over these mountains.”

His land has been under siege for decades, he said, with outside investors hoping to develop the lands into everything from a ski resort to a landing strip, the latter of which is visible from his property.

“The building of the airstrip makes me feel really bad because, number one, they destroyed the property. It looks very ugly. It's gonna cause erosion. It’s so dry that the dust kicks up, and there's elderlies that live in the area; that dust affects them,” said Polaco.

“It's very emotional, especially when you see these outsiders coming in and doing destruction and taking advantage of us,” he said.

Today, he continues to harvest hay and attempts to keep the land as undisturbed as possible. He says he wants the Treaty of Hidalgo to be honored and the lands respected, particularly in the face of a changing climate. To that end, he said it’s important to elect public officials who “know the culture and our struggle” so that their Constitutional right to the land can be upheld.

What comes next?

Archuleta says it took generations for these communities to fall into poverty and other socioeconomic issues, and that it’ll take a long time to solve their problems as well.

“We're in a marathon. We're not in a race,” he said.

Archuleta’s grandfather is buried in Manzano, New Mexico. His dad grew up there, too.

“He left in the ‘70s. He didn't have opportunities. That's the stuff that's hard to swallow when you're like, ‘Man, this is something that was in our family and it belonged to us,’” he said. "And because of circumstances beyond our control, the loss of the commons, the poverty that that created… This drives the work that I do. Working with land grant communities and trying to get justice for our communities.”

In June, Archuleta spoke before Congress as it considered a bill to give land grant heirs access to their former lands.

“What the current legislation does is it would create a federal definition of traditional uses on federal lands for land grant communities,” he said. “Access to fuelwood, for example, to heat your home. Access to pasture to graze livestock. And it would also require that the federal agencies work with land grant communities and consult with them.”

For Sanchez, “the dream of reparation would be that we'd get our land back. But we know that's impossible; times have changed.”

“Short of that, I also think our communities are due some type of reparations in terms of monetary compensation for all the hardships that they've endured,” Archuleta said. “What that figure looks like to us, if we did a calculation, probably about $2.7 billion. Not to pay out individuals but to pay our communities for community development and to buy back land.”

Meanwhile, Padilla-Gutierrez hopes to transform a historic jail in her village into a museum.

“The idea is to keep the legacy alive. Do not destroy and forget the history,” she said. “We wish that our parents could be here to see this that we've done. We're slowly inching back to being a legitimate and prideful land grant.”

Her sister emphasized that the family doesn’t “want handouts.”

“We wanna provide for ourselves. So justice would be giving us that opportunity to do that,” Padilla said. “We've always been here and we're not going anywhere… This is where we come from. This is our land and we're gonna protect it and we're gonna continue to be here as long as we possibly can.”

“The hard work of my dad and my grandfather and my great grandfather -- their blood, sweat, and tears... I have to make sure that none of that was [in] vain,” Archuleta added. . “That their hopes and dreams survive on, and [that] they survive on in my kids and their kids.”