#also completely out of it rn so i might delete this in the morning idk

[hoofpeet]

This one's for me 💯

[cluelesslesbian]

Check-In Tag✨

AKA a very long post about moi and this account bc I was tagged by the lovely @katelfiredemon <3

IF YOU SEE THIS, PRETEND I'M TAGGING U like this is completely optional (and long omg) so I don't wanna FORCE anyone to do it but asjhkl I think it's cute

1. why did you choose your url?

My og url was something dumb bc I only used tumblr to keep up with artists and writers I admired… this one is revamped to be ~relatable~ bc I wanted something that I felt comfortable adding on my art?? But ok-

clueless = because THERE’S TIMES THAT I’M A LIL SLOW TO GET A JOKE SDFHJKL

lesbian = bc I’m not out to my family but my sexuality is something I like about me,,, so I wanted to acknowledge it somewhere (and the anonymity of tumblr = ideal tbh)

2. any side blogs? if you have them: name them and why you have them

I made one like yesterday lol! It’s @blue-dragon-shin-ah and it’s for Akatsuki no Yona (an anime and manga I TOTALLY rec! It’s like a historical themed fantasy, comedy, romance WITH a found family trope it’s so good)

but ngl I have no clue how to keep track of more than 1 blog so it'll be a lot more inactive than this one asdhkl

3. how long you’ve been on tumblr?

hmm according to my tumblr account it’d be 2016 since that’s the oldest post I’ve kept (I deleted everything and revamped this acc in december 2020)

BUT I did the math and I would’ve made this account in middle school so around 2013-2014 lol I don’t think I used it much until voltron was booming in like 2016-2018.. Then I lowkey stopped… until now!

4. do you have a queue tag?

oof no

……...I probably should? like 90% of my blog is queued or scheduled… but ngl I barely remember to tag posts at ALL some nights so I probably won’t (rip if that’s annoying,, but I don’t make much og content so I figure anyone following me is chill with this lol)

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

In middle school?? To see funny posts and not be pressured into having an ~online presence~ tbh. That’s literally it lol

6. why did you choose your icon?

Matching with @lesbianklance rn! and keith's expressions r hilarious

Before I just,,, chose sokka bc I love that blue boi and the edit of him had a yellow bg that I LOVED (and matched with my pink theme)

7. why did you choose your header?

Matching with @lesbianklance rn! and klance sdjfhk

Before it was just a colour palette bc I wanted my blog to be my fav colour: PINK

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

My zukka art omg- like I did one that I put effort into which I KNOW is my top post (it’s got like 600 notes??? I still can’t believe it I love that!! 🥰)

BUT MY SECOND TOP IS A POST OF REALLY REALLY ROUGH SKETCHES OF THEM AND I LOWKEY CRINGE AT IT (it’s got like 500 notes.. And I’m like… y ?? I can DO BETTER 😭)

9. how many mutuals do you have?

…...listen I’ve literally never had mutuals until this year (minus my one irl.. I love u bitch!! but u know that bc we text on other platforms too)

idek am i supposed to be keeping track??? I just smile a lot when i see the darker-tinted notifs in my activity feed

10. how many followers do you have?

hmmmmmmm ok i lowkey don’t want to answer this bc my whole love for tumblr is that followers don’t matter? You could follow me today and unfollow tmrw bc i ship something you don’t and life moves on??? So yeah no answer here

11. how many people do you follow?

1807 babeyyyy

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

...wait define shitpost- technically any original post under #yeetidk might be a shitpost cause they’re all just?? my shitty rambles tbh???

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

Sometimes i’ve got the app open allll day long but other days?? I’ll go on like once in the morning or at night just to check my notifs and then that’s it

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

lmaoo bold of you to assume i interact with anyone enough to have a fight (AKA no)

If i did tho?? I’m the type to try and come to some middle ground before dropping the issue so idk- i’m more likely to lose bc i’m willing to （づ￣3￣）

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

Wish-granting/curse stuff: no.

Politics/Donation posts: depends! I try to only reblog posts like these that I know a bit about bc I don’t really wanna contribute to misinformation ykno?

I did start tagging these posts as #important but I’m not like?? gonna be mad at anyone for not reblogging political posts (also a heads-up if you wanted to block #important: I also tag some lgbt+ stuff under there so you’ll likely miss those too, not a huuuge loss but just an fyi yknow??)

16. do you like tag games?

asdfghjkl this is honestly the first tag game i’ve ever been part of so i have no opinion 😭 tho formatting this post has been a bitch asdhjkl I gotta get back to my homework when I'm finally done this

17. do you like ask games?

I've done a grand total of 1 and I felt so?? ashgjl awkward and bad for asking people to talk to me about myself- maybe if I do one that isn't about me I'll like it more

I do love sending other people anons to compliment them when they do these games tho 😌

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

....this requires me to pay attention to people I follow more than I have been so I literally have no idea??

19. do i have a crush on a mutual?

yes. the one readings this. love u, sweetheart 😘

/jokes

I don't?? usually get crushes? idek.. thought I was aromantic for a while bc of that lmaoo (but then I got a crush on someone irl and I was like "oooh ok so maybe im just gay then")

[martiniblves]

mijoo and her iconic entrances DFKLSJGDF

yes, i really am recycling the intro some of you probably Just caught when you followed me DGSFLJLGSD

hey y’all, i’m kat, english student and an old hag :/ also slowly coming down from an anxiety moment, hence only deleting old shit now and potentially going rogue from my blog for the night after posting this ( aka, best if y'all send me your d*scord users bc it's much easier for me there ) sfdgjgfd i’m super excited for this group and can’t wait to read all about your muses !  and hoping you feel the same, i’ll get right to introducing avalon bay’s resident messy brat, dahlia !

[ lee mijoo ] dahlia kim, twenty-four, cis female, she/her, radio dj — a world-class traveler in the making, self-proclaimed “ reformed ” groupie, has been a tennant at avalon bay for two years, her cherry blaster obsession is the sweetest thing about her, she slept with an ex-best friend’s roommate and crush as revenge. [ kat, 22, nt, she/her ]

she often goes between dahlia and dia, first and foremost sdfglkj

came from a super small town in upstate new york where there wasn’t much to do or much to see, so growing up she had an adventurous streak that would run rampant when she was able to go off by herself, able to drive, and finally able to leave it behind

her family life was rather average, her parents scraped by financially but her and her two younger siblings never really went without — aside from a toy or two at christmas or a brand new car for their sixteenth birthdays sfgkljgdf

gets on fine with them, but her and her little/middle sister have had an on-and-off contentious relationship that, at the moment, is very much ON SDFGFG

small town life was.. okay overall, she was social Enough and polite but never really maintained any close relationships with her childhood pals once high school came and went, mostly bc the town was full of gossips so everyone thought poorly of each other and passed it onto their kids LSKFDGJGDFL

and yes, i’m kinda basing this off of the antics of adults from my hometown, what about it ??

she spent most of her formative years with her head in the clouds and music always around her or on her mind

so you bet she wound up taking guitar and piano lessons when she was a kid and well into her teens, and dare i say she was pretty good at it fsdglkjgdf

having that skill gave her the boost of confidence she needed from middle school onward, having been a tad reserved before then

idk what else to add bc i honestly can’t think of anything else about her past Before moving away. dull as hell probably, more than it’s already been said LKGSDF

upon moving to the city, she attended nyu just to keep her parents from completely losing their minds over her not.. wanting to go on a sure path, majoring in communications and spending much of her time as a dj for the campus radio station’s late night shows

soon began searching for dj gigs at major radio stations once she’d graduated and landed a spot as an intern to meet with artists the station wished to interview, etc, and even had an opportunity or two to interview them herself

through that job, she became more exposed to the groupie lifestyle and — having always been somewhat intrigued — soon became one ( of sorts ) 

sorry if you’re a fan of h*lsey bc this might come across as a dig, but this is where she becomes the chill version of groupie!h*lsey that h*lsey wishes she had been DFLSKJDGSFL

she liked the attention from drummers, singers and rappers alike — plus having sex with talented, rich people whenever they were in town didn’t hurt one bit — and she kept it all separate from her job, although it did help the station land more interviews, tickets for contests, etc

wasn’t big on hard drugs, but she never shied away from a bong being handed to her or a couple of xanax tablets, just so we’re clear here sdflkgjfdgk

however, the no-strings set-up quickly shifted for dahlia upon meeting a rising indie band’s lead singer

he was smooth as hell, which she already knew alongside his tendency to get bored easily with fangirls-turned-groupies like the rest of the musicians she’d met, so when she played along with his game, it didn’t take long for him to maintain an interest in her and for them to forge something of a friendship

she’d never admit it to anyone, but he was her first love as the initial sexual attraction very quickly became romantic after long conversations about music and aspirations, mundane happenings in their lives separate from their encounters and who should’ve won immunity on the recent ep of masterchef; dia knew he wouldn’t settle down now and she knew that while she was his number one at that point, she wasn’t the only one he had. a couple of months passed where it seemed like he was going only to her, that his interest rarely waned to the other girls that would swarm him, which led her to believe he was at least somewhat into her and to her confessing when they were both drunk one night — only to be shut down but not shut out

dejected and heartbroken, she still couldn’t quite distance herself from him like she knew she should and the front she put up — that she exaggerated her feelings and would get over it — made him none the wiser

however, he couldn’t get over the thought of his fwb still being in love with him and cut ties with her abruptly before his nth departure from nyc

it took her right out of her bubble, left a horrible taste in her mouth to even go back to being a groupie for others over how poorly it all went with him, so she abandoned the sexual aspect and potential intimacy of it — but not before taking herself completely out of that lifestyle for a few months to get over him

which.. lbr, she’s only 90% of the way there to this day sfdlkkdfsgl

upon going back, she showed up to shows and parties solely as a friend of the performer.... before that got old Quick and she realized how soul-sucking it was for her sexually frustrated And repressed ass KFSLJGS

though ask her pals and they’d think she’d given it up altogether, hence her supposedly being reformed

.. at least she isn’t indulging in drugs like she occasionally used to, so that counts for something lksdfjlgdf

as for her time in radio, she got promoted to a morning slot as a dj with a couple of co-hosts last year, though once an afternoon slot opened, she high-tailed it out of there

anything to get back to her chill, late night roots and this was the first step

lastly, she moved to avalon bay 2 years ago, after uni was done and she had to move out of the dorms. in that time, she’d become best friends with another girl and had a massive falling out bc the other was. well. changing for the worst sgfjgfd

she became selfish, judgmental, advantageous and disloyal, and soon dia had enough of her hypocritical and generally nasty antics ( and not without a brutal argument that left both of their egos bruised )

dahlia isn’t always one for petty revenge, but when the ex-bff’s roommate and crush — who dia had a slight interest in as well — bumped into her in the hallway of their dorm one night, she took her chance to knock the other down a peg by initiating a flirtatious conversation that quickly turned sexual

with her ex-bff being on the other side of the wall of said roommate’s room

safe to say that their ( final ) conversation in the morning was a fucking disaster SDFLGKJGFDK

it’s not something she’s entirely ashamed about, but dia doesn’t feel the need to disclose what happened

PERSONALITY AND OTHER SHIT

she loves her friends, would die for them, would kill for them. let’s get that straight first and foremost !

does that mean she’s the nicest or even the most tolerable person ?? fuck no SFGLJGKDF

i described her to one of my pals as a “ chaotic free-spirit with a mean streak when she doesn’t get her way, ” which. could also describe a couple of my bitchier muses tbh FLDKGJDS

but she’s stubborn, irritable and has a sense of high self-worth and self-preservation

she obviously has an attitude that can and will come out if you hurt her or someone she cares about/someone she thinks doesn’t deserve it

or if you think you’re a god or something

and it can get ugly.. as explained above dfskgdgkf

however, we love confident women on this blog and here you have one !

she’s chill for the most part, so you ( probably ) won’t have anything to worry about if you stay on her good side gfsdkljgfd

passionate af about radio and music as a career, wants to have a gig like zane lowe’s beats hosting job or even annie mac’s one day

although she also wishes to put out music of her own at least Once before she dies dfgsljdfgk

bit of a wild child, likes to party and just do her own thing — partially bc she’s scared of getting older and having to give that all up/being forced to act her age

doesn’t mean she doesn’t like her quiet nights in though !

closet romantic, just wants to be swept off of her feet..... but no one needs to know that, at least she doesn’t think so FSDJKGFD

won't let you see it anyways, at least unless she's Interested and knows you're not someone who's only useful for her in the short-term

also quietly doting, will never be the mom friend bc it’s too much responsibility and patience, but will always be a good shoulder to cry on who tells you your feelings are valid before she tells you to toughen the fuck up and amend a situation yourself, might even tell you how

some exceptions may apply FDLSJGSFLK

a bit vulgar at times, just warning you now fgldskf

wants to see the world and has travelled a little as it is bc of her connections. loves it

JFKDGS

has a pet succulent bc she Knows she can't look after the big fluffy dog of her dreams rn

named him bobby after one of the characters from the love island game DFLKGSJF

i honestly dk what else to add rn, plus i’m eager af to post this so we’ll end it here ! cute extras can always be posted later !

[therapybabbie]

January 28, 2021

First day of DBT was yesterday. I did not like it. It was like class and not personal and we couldn’t respond to the other patients, only the counselor could, which I hated. I will stick it out tho bc it is the only IOP thats not during my work schedule.

Also, I texted michael a couple nights ago and was like “I dont care what i said before, you and i are NOT cool!!!!! i only get madder and madder at you every day and you traumatized me!!!” or something to that effect, after which he was like “yeah i figured you wouldn’t wanna speak to me anymore after you unfollowed me on instagram. i’m so sorry i lied and cheated and i want to fix it, but you said nothing can fix it so idk what you want me to do.” 

so then the next afternoon i sent him like four paragraphs about the anger and humiliation he caused me and by 11:00 pm the next day he still hadnt responded and i was so mad i couldnt sleep so i texted him “I hate you so much. All that shit and all you cared about is that I unfollowed you on instagram.” and then he responded saying he’d been fucked up and crying all day and he didn’t know what to say and he’s “insanely sorry.” 

then this morning i obviously apologized for saying i hate him bc that is obviously not true, which i also said. I then was like “I’m just dealing with this anger that has nowhere to go and its so heavy blah blah” but in FOUR PARAGRAPHS (why did I do this). Then he was like “I’m really sorry you’re hurting because of me but there’s nothing I can do about it right now to help either of us.” THEN I just said I just want EMPATHY bc I feel like he NEVER tried to imagine being me during the worst things he did to me. and i want him to feel exactly what i felt and know he caused it.

then he said “i have felt that. i felt guilt and shame for so long and still am. i knew what i was doing was wrong and i was paranoid the whole time. i don’t know how to empathize well though, i’ve told you my struggles with that. I know I caused you pain and I want to make you feel better. But I’m also not going to be told I don’t feel anything”

then I explained that’s not what i was saying and i know he feels things, i just never FELT empathy from him regarding what he did to me over the past year. if he was empathetic, he wasnt expressing it in a way i recognize. it didn’t even seem like he was TRYING to be empathetic

and he said “I agree, I didn’t try at all. I was only focused on myself and getting fucked up. I’m an addict. That’s what I’m trying to fix right now. I’m struggling with processing everything and it’s hard. Some days I don’t feel like shit but other days like yesterday when you texted me I was crying about everything I’ve ever done. IDK how this shit works. I literally don’t have answers for you rn. I’m so new to trying to help myself that I don’t know where to start. Maybe in time I’ll have some answers for you but right now I’m just feeling shit. I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do”

Then I said I’m happy he’s focusing on his addiction bc from what I know of him, the more he recovers in that area, the more other things will fall into place, which i hope happens for him

And he said “Thanks but I relapsed last night so not feeling great lol.” then i think he immediately realized he was veering into codependent territory and said “That’s not your problem, I’m sorry. I’m gonna go. I’ve got a lot of things to take care of on my day off. Hope you’re well.”

But I was still responding to his PREVIOUS message so I said I understand he can’t have answers right now, I hope he’s ok too, I’m sorry that me texting him all that probably contributed to his horrible day yesterday and that’s why I said we should stop talking in the first place, “but I’m going through hell right now too, so yeah I made a mistake and I’m sorry.”

Then to prevent myself from texting him again some other time, I said “I don’t wanna set you back by texting you some shit like that again while you’re working on recovery, but I’m worried I might. Do you think I should just delete your number, that way it’ll be up to you if you wanna talk again?”

And he said, which i don’t rly understand completely what this means but whatever, “its ok, i understand. it might be for the best that we do that yeah” Like?? why did he say we??? I didn’t say we both delete each others numbers and never speak for the rest of our lives, I said I delete his so he can contact me when he feels like it....but whatever its just texting semantics it doesnt necessarily mean anything

so i said “Ok cool, I promise not to contact you again. You let me know if you wanna talk again sometime later though”

and he said “Ok thanks” which I thought SUCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like you coulda just been like “Ok, I will” or something nicer. It seemed like he was annoyed that I was deleting his number even though i made it clear it was so that HE could contact me at his leisure and not have ME bother him when hes trying to quit drugs!!!!! but whatever......BPD crazy ass disease....this was probably some form of perceived abandonment (real or imagined)

I hope he talks to me again but not for like 3-4 months. I’m glad I set up this boundary for myself though bc now I can never text him first or it’d be too embarrassing. 

Oh, also, after that first round of texts I sent him the first night, he made his instagram private, which he NEVER has before so i guess he really was salty i unfollowed him. this is for the best tho cause now i cant stalk him, which i was only doing sometimes ok.....ok i did it for like 5 days over the period of time surrounding the anniversary of his mothers death to make sure he was okay. Which i think was fine and not creepy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think hes more just like “you locked me out of yours, well now you don’t get to see any of mine!” childish but i’d do the same thing

In general, I want this man to have a happy life in the near future. But not right now, not right after treating me like shit for so long. I’m glad he cried all day over something I said, it is only fair. And he will never grow if he never feels bad about this stuff. So it was nice to hear that he at least still cares, even if it meant him feeling like shit for a whole day. 

[trojanjean]

questions for ao3 writers

tagged by @meimagino, thank you dsgsfa !! <3 <3 

Tagging: @kumikirin and @rayraywrites ! i don’t actually know a lot of ao3 writers SO PLEASE DO THIS AND TAG ME? <3 i’ve LOVED reading other people doing this tag and it’s so exciting to know more abt your stuff so please please if u use ao3 and wanna do this, please let me know! <3

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

my username is seaworn. i didn’t want my ao3 username to be the same as my tumblr url because my tumblr url is pretty much always associated with a certain fandom and i didn’t want that because i had a feeling that i’m going to write something for different fandoms. seaworn is a word i came across in one of nightwish’s lyrics, “sea-worn driftwood”. i just thought that was nice, and everything sea-related is really close to my heart. 

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos)

fingers crossed my obsession with you is tameable has most hits, kudos and bookmarks, but my heart’s a stereo (it beats for you so listen close) has most subscriptions (because it’s an ongoing series).

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

it’s a picture of some random boy who i think looks a lot like my favourite trainwreck boy harry and i wanted it lmao 

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

 i get really warm and giddy if someone i know comments something on my fics because it means the world to me that my friends read my shit asdgdfs. but i also get warm and giddy and excited when i get any kinds of comments!! <3 i appreciate every single comment i get and i sometimes cry when i get an email notification about a comment someone left me asfsg <3 i notice a few “regulars” that always comment of my stories when i publish something new and i LOVE them and it means the world to me that someone has subscribed to me/checks out my page to see whether i’ve published smth new. but i ALSO love people who just leave kudos bc seeing that someone has actually read my stuff? amazing. i love every single one of you so much. i go through my comments and my kudos/hits whenever i’m feeling down/insecure and they give me so much confidence and make me feel better about everything

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

oh yeah, i have plenty!! i mean, i have over 500 bookmarks and i go through them a lot to read many of my old favourites. i’m going to list a few i could remember without actually browsing through my bookmarks! :) they’re mostly drarry because i’m super into that again. also i really wanna scream about all of these but i’m just gonna link them and let them speak for themselves sdgdfsg 

Twingenuity by Caeseria. Viktuuri, explicit, 160k. summary: “Victor arrives in Hasetsu, completely unaware that Yuuri has an identical, overly affectionate, twin brother. The resulting temptation might actually kill him before he gets Yuuri to the GPF like he promised.”

Coffee, Cakes And Doorknob Snakes by Omi_Ohmy. drarry, explicit, 40k. summary: “Harry's house is trying to kill him, and only one person can help him: pity it's Draco Malfoy”

Eternally Consistent by kitsunealyc. drarry, explicit, 40k. summary: “Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter assumed they would never be anything but civil enemies, until Potter lands on Malfoy's doorstep, bleeding, covered in curses, and acting very strangely indeed.”

Reparations by Saras_Girl. drarry, explicit, 87k. summary: “Harry is about to discover that the steepest learning curve comes after Healer training, and that second chances can be found in unexpected places.”

Winter Song by proantagonist. viktuuri, explicit, 149k. summary: “The set of Yuuri’s mouth softened into a private smile as Victor squeezed his knee beneath the table. His hands were bare, free from the gloves he so often wore when they were together on the rink, and the heat of his palm burned straight through the denim of Yuuri’s jeans. He slipped his own hand beneath the table and found Victor’s. Hidden from sight, their fingers began to flirt and play. A secret conversation all their own that needed no words.

Yuuri was aware that at some point—a moment in time he couldn’t quite place—Victor had become his boyfriend.

There wasn’t a single instant when it happened. It was a slow awareness, as if Victor had silently been asking the question for months now, and Yuuri had been giving him the answer a little more with each passing day.”

i’d love to link everything i like but aSFASD!! just believe me when i say that with 500 bookmarks and having lots of writer friends in tumblr, i read a LOT of the same fics over and over and over again. the ones i mentioned just now are all longer stories i fell in love with because it took me days and maybe even weeks to read them and it’s like i’d found a whole new universe?? you can def ask me for fic recs because all i do is read fics but i found it really hard to just pick a few so i decided to pick just a few longer ones for this question!! but ask me for my favourite coffee shop aus? do it. favourit otayuri fics? ya please. fav modern au captive prince fics? you really should. 

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

i can’t see the number of my subscriptions anywhere? but i get maybe 3-10 email notifications every day about an updated work so i guess it’s a lot. i have a little over 500 bookmarks! :)) 

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

hmm, i maybe haven’t written enough to have, like, a special au i enjoy writing? but i DO think about coffee shop au’s and writing them a lot so i guess it’s that asfdsf. i just really really love coffee shops?? 

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

274 subscriptions and 704 bookmarks holy sHIT hey i love every single one of you?? 

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

i have a bunch of really, really sad and depressing headcanons i would love to write but i’m probably never gonna? like, lots of things about eating disorders and cutting and someone getting injured or cheated on, someone losing an important person or having to give up on their dreams, etc. lots of sad characters trying to be brave on their own and slowly fading away :’’)) i don’t want to write then because i haven’t come up with any good endings for those and i DON’T want to write stuff with no happy ending, so. i just really think i need to get out all kinds of crap rn and writing them would make me feel better but i think i’m too involved to actually write something worth reading? i fear that if i wrote smth i’ve headcanoned, it would end up being super immature and illogical. idk. my point it that i’m afraid to write really self-indulgent, depressing angst sadgsghdf 

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

i would love to be a little more consistent in writing. my concentration is bad and often i can’t get into the flow when i’m working on something. usually i add something to a wip every few days, then one day i write 1000 words and then continue editing sentences here and there, jumping from scene to scene, deleting smth and then adding 57 words. like...i often feel like i can’t get into the scene i’m writing and it feels like i’m watching it on the outside instead of being the writer? whenever i can focus properly i get solid, consistent, meaningful writing done, but honestly 80% of me doing anything is messing around and i have to do A LOT of damage control before everything is finished? 

this is related to what i just described but i’d also love to be able to write chronologically because i feel it makes the story and the journey more real when i’m actually working through what my characters are feeling/experiencing throughout the story? instead of writing an exciting plot thing A and an exciting plot thing number B and then later writing the boring parts inbetween. 

i have a lot of problems with plots in general - i feel it’s easier for me to write 2 k about, like, yuuri making tea in the morning, than writing 2k about someone walking to the store and buying milk. i’m better at describing moments and feelings than concrete plot points or someone dojng something? idk. 

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

popular ships. i mean, i might read rarepairs but i usually have one or two otp’s from each fandom i write about. i’d love to write about chrisabek one day though sgdfg. 

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

18 ???? what how when has this happened?? .  13 of those are yoi and the rest either drarry or johnlock. 

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

18 published works and about....25-30 unfinished things? some over 10k words, some less than 500. also but i wrote A LOT of original shit when i was like 16-18 so if i count those in the number would be about 100 probably

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

i write them down potential ideas, but i have a lot of headcanons i don’t write down because i don’t think i have the ability to write them. but most of my ideas go to google docs/notes. 

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

yeah, i actually have one wip going on with someone :) it’s unfinished but maybe we’ll finish it one day? it’s drarry and super sweet. 

16. How did you discover AO3?

i really can’t remember? i wish i could? but it probably in 2012 when i got into the sherlock fandom. 

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

i don’t think so omg, but i’m really glad people read my stuff! but i’m definitely more known in the yoi fandom than the others i’m in bc my drarry/johnlock fics get like 5 comments, max, whereas i can get 20 comments to my yuri on ice stuff! :) it’s really nice that people read my stuff fhdh 

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

omfg no but everyone who reads my stuff is an actual Angel  

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

yeah, a lot! a lot of original fiction authors & a lot of fanfiction authors! whenever i read a good text i’m like “wow, this is awesome, i wish i could write this well” and that always gives me a huge boost. the support of my friends is really encouraging and inspiring, too. 

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

the “i will be a stronger writer after i finish this piece” is REALLY good advice, because...not everything you write will be the best you’ve done and you maybe feel like your writing has some flaws or something. but you know what? even if it’s not perfect, you’re a lot more experienced writer when you’ve done it. i do the “it’s gonna be shit anyway so i’m not gonna write it” thing quite often but then i have to remind myself that every single word i write gets me closer to being better, so i plunder through. and when i get finished with something, i usually think “well, this is not my strongest work but i’m glad i did it” and!!!! that’s really it!! i took part in otayuri reverse bang this spring and god i wanted to give up so so many times and i wrote lots of plots for it because i didn’t like ANYTHING i did. but i got through it, and while i think that the two stories i did for it are the worst i’ve written, it’s still 18 000 words more than i would have written if i hadn’t participated :) be your own biggest supporter & give yourself time to practise & be super proud and happy about what you’ve achieved so far!! <3 you wrote 10 words today? THAT’S 10 WORDS MORE THAN IT WAS BEFORE. you had a huge writer’s block so instead of writing you just wrote down some plot point you wanna write later? YOU PLANNED SOMETHING. you couldn’t even plan, you just opened your computer and gave up? YOU TRIED AND RESPECTED YOUR LIMITS TODAY AND THAT’S AMAZING. 

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

i usually plan big plot points but figure everything else out as i go? planning in actually one of my weaknesses and instead of making a plan and sticking to it, i just wait for inspiration and get as much done as i can before it goes away, lol. 

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

not really :) everyone has been really sweet to me. 

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

action scenes are pretty hard? i think i’m better at writing dialogue and feelings than action or something dramatic happening. i’m working on it and i would love to get more edge to my writing! 

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

i’m finishing the last part of my heart’s a radio (it beats for you so listen close). the chapter is what i intended to write in the first place (yuri and otabek seeing each other at world’s and getting it on in a hotel room) but then i just....needed to have 14 000 words of stuff before it, apparently. 

i’m also working on a drarry fic that has been in my drafts for a long time. it’s about 8k and i think it’s going to be 10-13k, and that’s fine. it’s all about margaritas and blowjobs and being hungover, basically. it’s really fun to write lol.

and then i have this captive prince smut one shot that’s also like half-done. it’s really fluffy and sappy but still just smut. 

aaaaalso i’m trying to finish the next chapter for my viktuuri dog sitter au fic now my heart stumbles on things i don’t know ! i’ve been procrastinating because i don’t really have a plot for it planned yet. 

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

i have too many ideas in my head constantly and that makes it reaally hard to focus on finishing something before jumping onto something else. that’s why i have tons of wips and no finished works, lmao. 

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

not really. sometimes i try to push myself by setting goals, but in the end it really stresses me out because i’m usually away from home at least 9 hours every day and my work is really physical and tiring so asfsgas i really don’t have the strength to write every day. now my goal is to finish three fics before the year ends. they’re all oneshots that are maybe 80% done, so i should be able to do it. 

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

i hope so but i really don’t know?? 

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

hmm. it’se been really fun writing i am to see to it that i do not lose you series because i’ve gotten a LOT of positive feedback along the way! and i’m not done with the series - i have a chrisviktuuri smut oneshot planned in this universe, happening at the same time when yuri’s figuring out how to date™. it was the first part of the series that made me think that maybe people actually enjoy my stuff & that encouraged me to write more!

I also really liked writing a oneshot i hust posted yesterday - listen how, under the breastbone, the rhythm changes . i wrote my first yuri on ice fic about a year ago and i just really wanted to return to that moment and write smth sweet about viktor and yuuri. the story has no plot or anything, but it felt REALLY good to write bc i sort of want and need a lot of soft things right now! 

also i’m having SO MUCH FUN with the drarry fic i haven’t posted yet, omg. 

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

hmm. probably cautiously peering, absorbing, translating hey eve stop with the pretentious fic names  because it was basically my first multichapter fic and i feel like it fell apart a little? i had to write it in less than a month bc it was part of otayuri reversebang. i felt like the idea was good and that it didn’t reach its full potential? i have very mixed feelings about this fic. i haven’t been able to read it even once after i published it bc i’m so afraid of what i’ll find lmao 

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

hopefully my english is a lot better then, at least! i hope that i’ve started writing original fiction, really :) 

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

coming up with ideas!!! i don’t even use most of the ideas hat get in my head and i get lots of new ideas especially when i’m at work, out doing shopping, basically doing anything active??  but writing everything down, especially ideas you know will get 20-30k long once you start...damn. 

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

managing long stories? i haven’t written very many longer (like, over 10k?) stories and dgsgsg it’s just hard to make the plot interesting with lots of interesting cliffhangers, sad parts, etc? it’s hard to balance everything. 

and yeah writing just in general is hard because it’s at least 80% writer’s block but having ideas flood your head and making it hard to focus on real life sfsg

33. Why do you write?

to express myself, i think? i still haven’t learn how to process my more uglier emotions through writing (it would be really helpful if i could) but i’m definitely writing about the kind of things i miss and would like to have for myself - someone being really happy, having lots of quiet mornings, being loved, maybe being a trainwreck but having something to cope through it, having a special connection with someone. idk. all kinds of things.

writing is fun and actually writing down the fics you’d want to read is super duper cool. i don’t get very much done in my life otherwise, so writing gives me the feeling of accomplishment i’m not getting anywhere else. 

i’m not very good at expressing myself so writing definitely helps with that, too. 

[valkyrr]

1-96, just because :P

-cracks knuckles- OH BOY alright, let’s do this

full meme under the cut 

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

my closet doesn’t have a door!

(2) Do You Have Freckles?

YEA but they’re really faint unless i’ve been hanging out in the sun for a while

(3) Can You Whistle?

NO and I’m bitter

(4) Last Song You Listened To.

God Only Knows - The Beach Boys

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?

atm it’s blue, but it changes often

(6) Relationship Status.

single and kind of ready to mingle i’m not really sure just gonna see how things go

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?

66 degrees F

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?

nope

(9) How Many Followers?

208

(10) Zodiac Sign.

Libra!!

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?

Hazel I think,,

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?

if you’re talking abt a daily multivitamin and not medication then NO that’s a level of health I am Not At

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?

ofc, i’ve figured out how to balance my phone on the shower ledge w/o it getting wet so i can sing to songs lmao

(14) What Books Are You Reading?

none atm

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

Ferahgo watched him intently and commented, “What’s that noise? Has one of your teeth broken? Oh look, it’s fallen out. (...)”

(16) Favourite Anime?

Lupin III 

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

my mom

(18) Do You Collect Anything?

Vinyls!

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?

Crackers that may have been sitting in our pantry for ~4 months now

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?

nah, but i’ll sing

(21) Favourite Animal?

Lynx

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?

YEA I love the Olympics!

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

1 AM - 3 AM

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

ye

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

Ocean

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?

all of my mutuals tbh.....

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

Bottled

(28) What Makes You Happy?

Music

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

with, but it’s gotta be classical or smooth jazz or Chill Anime Beats 24/7 or something

(31) Dogs Or Cats?

b o t h

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?

Orange

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.

used to be team Xbox, i’m PS now bc i’m a traitor

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

Lake

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?

depends what kind!

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

gray

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?

ye

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?

try to save it as best i can!

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

no

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

I’m back on my Bloodborne bullshit rn but besides that I’m really getting into Kings of Convenience as a band and i’m digging their music??

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

YEA kid me used to chase them around, keep them for a little bit, then release them

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

ye, please be aware i’m gonna copy personality traits if i’m around the same person for a while

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?

lately yeah?? but i can’t ever remember them tbh

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

ye

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

Good Will Hunting

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

Peanuts

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

honestly I still wanna see Fleet Foxes live but i’m ~salty~ because they just came to detroit @ a venue i’ve been at before and really liked and i was busy the day of their concert

(48) Are You A Picky Eater?

not rly unless it comes to texture

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

tbh an atomic war could happen and if I was sleeping i’d be none the wiser

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?

every time a thunderstorm happens i get 100% stronger

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?

yea if i’m in the mood for it!

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?

also depends on my mood

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

Carve pumpkins

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

The Growlers - Love Test

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

Summer still, but it’s starting to feel like Fall in the evenings

(56)What Are You Craving Right Now?

Pizza

(58) What Is Your Gender?

Cis girl

(59) Coffee Or Tea?

Tea all the way

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

No thank goodness

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?

Super Ace

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

I wish;;

(63) Favourite Pokemon?

Entei/ Aggron

(64) Favourite Social Media?

This hellsite

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

They’re cool, never use them though

(66) Do You Get Homesick?

All the time

(67) Are You A Virgin?

Ye

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

Idk i think it’s like “Maui moisture” or somethin, i just picked it bc it smelled pretty good

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

Sleep in my car, i’m a huge germaphobe abt motels/hotels in general

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

yes, thankfully

(71)  Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

idk, the last one I wanted to see was Baby Driver but i don’t think it’s in theaters anymore?

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?

i only have one(1) ex from like...... grade school. lmao. i completely forgot about him ‘till this question

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

this

(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?

Brown eyes are VERY underrated

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

YEAH

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

Tuna + Peaches

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

i have Fallout Shelter but i’m thiiiiiis close to deleting it because it’s stressful af and i get way too attached to my dwellers

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

yea of course lmao I can’t see a reason why anyone wouldn’t???????

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

I used to pull internet marathons like that when I was in high school but I’m kinda over it

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

never in a creepy way, but i follow a ton of bands i like on instagram and i get unreasonably exited when one of them posts something to their story

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?

Yea!

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

Not often

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

Closed

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?

got in touch w a friend i hadn’t talked to in a while, did some laundry, drew a bit!

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?

usually pj shorts and a t shirt

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

 I have a ton of lipstick from Colourpop, a bunch o’ e.l.f. stuff, and some other misc things

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?

Night

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

there’s......... so many tbh

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?

Cream Soda 

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?

Rain on the window, cars passing on the road outside, running water

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

Jeans

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?

probably Bad, just chillin in my pjs 

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.

Reading

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?

Okay I’d love to get something in the traditional style but I’m also one of those people who would prefer a tattoo w meaning and I don’t really know of anything I’d put on my body permanently yet?? Might change down the road idk

(96) Favourite YouTuber?

I’m only rly on YouTube for the music 

thanks for the asks :)

[xingnini]

Get To Know Your Writer!

1) Describe your comfort zone — a typical you-fic. TBH I say I like to write angst but lately I’m not feeling so confident in it;;; I would say something that’s a light romance with just a sprinkle of angst. 

2) Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to? SO MANY :((( Military!AU, Angel/Demon!AU, Hanahaki Disease!AU, Gumiho!AU, Harry Potter!AU, High School/College!AU :((( 

3) Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole? sndksndksn probably ABO/Wolf!AU;; I don’t really read that trope and I don’t think I can write it well haha

4) How many fic ideas are you nurturing rn? Care to share one of them? 

Oh my God, I’m not joking when I say 50+ I have a whole google spreadsheet to keep track of them all;; one of them is a Xingdae baking club!AU that I’ve been dying to write for the past two years. 

5) Share one of your strengths. Determination to finish them all!!

6) Share one of your weaknesses. Speed with writing them ;^; I write as fast as a sloth wanting to sleep!! Also description skdnfskdnf my stories are all dialogue and that’s bad

7) Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it. It was 3 in the morning. It was dark outside, and the lights were dimmed down. Chanyeol held Baekhyun’s hand and sat beside his bed. He laid his head next to Baekhyun’s and could hear his labored breathing. With each breath, Chanyeol felt his heart crumbling; Baekhyun was still battling his hardest, but he didn’t have much strength or time to fight any longer. 

Chanyeol just wanted Baekhyun to rest. 

In 10 minutes, he was stroking Baekhyun’s hair and looking lovingly at him. Even if Baekhyun’s hair wasn’t as healthy, or his face was too sharp and bony from all the weight he had lost, he thought Baekhyun was still beautiful. He admired how strong he was, no matter how scared he was. If Chanyeol was terrified, he couldn’t imagine how Baekhyun felt through this whole ordeal.

ALSDFJLAKDJ i’m proud of this because it doesn’t even sound like I’m the one who wrote it. It actually made me cry when I read it LMAO I think it’s something that has the capability of tapping into the readers’ emotions and I think I’ll never be able to write something like this again

8) Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.  Yifan: Kim Jongdae. Jongdae: Huh? What? Yifan: /hands over Shakespeare’s Macbeth/ Here. Proofread this for me! Jongdae: What.  Yifan: I said proofread it!  Jongdae: Yifan... it’s been proofread and published already... Yifan: Then why can’t I understand a single word that’s being said?! It’s complete gibberish! 

tbh Yifan in The Little Wingman is probably my favorite character to have ever written in terms of comedic relief skndfksndf there were scenes with him that were funnier than this but this is the longest dialogue I think

9) Which fic has been the hardest to write? 256 Feet or Magnolia ://

10) Which fic has been the easiest to write?  The Land of Idea or The Little Wingman!! 

11) Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby? :/// good question,,, i invest way too much time for it to be a fun hobby, but I’m not good enough for it to be a passion. 

12) Is there an episode above all others that inspires you just a little bit more? Episode?? Of feelings or TV?? 😅😅😅

13) What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across? Take a break when you need it, even if it lasts a few days.

14) What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across? UHHHH I don’t really talk to enough people to get advice :// so I haven’t really heard any bad pieces of advice yet

15) If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose? Damn, good question?! Probably Knocked Out! 

16) If you could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?  Chansoo!! KDNSFKSDN I’M JOKING I’m probably going to choose Xingdae over Kaisoo :c I think I’m more comfortable writing them!! 

17) Do you finish your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order? KSNDFKSDNF I write so out of order, that’s probably why my transitions are shit and it feels choppy 

18) Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines? I can’t do anything without outlines tbh I have a whole document of outline for each and every single fic

19) Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse? No, I don’t think so :/

20) Describe your perfect writing conditions. The people who know me might think it’s on my bed, but it’s not ksdnfksnd probably my high school library’s private computer room (which I don’t have access to anymore) :c it’s because I’m sitting upright in a comfortable space with a computer that isn’t my own (for some odd reason skdnfnsd)

21) How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting? I usually revise while I’m writing, so countless times,,,,

22) Choose a passage from one of your earlier fics and edit into your current writing style.  Shameful, but I don’t think my writing style has changed skdnfsdnk

23) If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why? Knocked Out bc that shit it wack af

24) Have you ever deleted one of your published fics? I’ve taken them down for a while, but they’re up again.

25) What do you look for in a beta?  I really want a beta who only reads my stories (a beta who doesn’t take on multiple writers all at once) and focuses their attention on me and bugs me to write and is a really close friend but skdnfksdnf if it’s a temporary beta, then mostly someone with a sharp eye for grammar and plot holes

26) Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you?  A personal one skjfksjdf I personally beta for 2, maybe now 3, people. My main writer likes me to bug her especially when a deadline is approaching, but I give space to my other writer. 

27) How do you feel about collaborations?  Something I would like to try one day!! But not to confident about it rn

28) Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.  OK LISTEN,,,, adorableprince, kei17, and naomi24 — adorableprince is my favorite kaisoo writer, kei17 is my favorite chanbaek writer, and naomi24 is my favorite xingdae writer even though she is very flexible with ships. They all know how to hit the feels the right way, but they’ve also made me laugh a lot! 

29) If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?  omg there was this Kaisoo drabble called Protector where Kyungsoo was left in the forest as a baby and the Kai was a gumiho who saved Kyungsoo and marks him with a brand and returns him to the village skndksnd

30) Do you accept prompts? Nope! I have too many ideas of my own I need to belt out

31) Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant? Nah, not strict at all. 

32) How do you feel about smut? I read it, but I probably will never ever write it!! 

33) How do you feel about crack? I LOVE CRACK, but I don’t have the confidence to write it.

34) What are your thoughts on non-con and dub-con? It’s a very sensitive topic to many people, but tbh not to me. I can read it and be completely fine, though I do think it should only be written if it’s use to facilitate the plot, a character’s characterization, or backstory. 

35) Would you ever kill off a canon character? Uhhhhhhh idk what canon character means, but I’ve killed off my main characters multiple times and will continue to do so skndfksdnf

36) Which is your favorite site to post fic? I’m most comfortable with AFF but the feedback I get is (wornout kaomoji)

37) Talk about your current wips.  AHHHHHH ok so I’m writing 3 for Golden EXO fest — crown prince/arranged marriage!AU, castle in the sky!AU, and time travel!AU!! I’m finishing up a sci-fi self-prompt for EXOgeddon, and a gift fic for a friend whose zombie!AU prompt in EXOgeddon didn’t get claimed. 

38) Talk about a review that made your day. All comments make my day!! One super recent one was a comment left by my EXO Free Love AU Fest fic’s prompter!! 

39) Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them? I don’t think I’ve ever considered any of them rude, because I’m grateful for any and all comments I get!

40) Write an alternative ending to --- (or just the summary of one). AHHH in my author’s note for A Heart of Gold — an alternate ending would have gone like this: Jongdae goes into the forest and finds the house, but Yixing is nowhere to be seen. Jongdae explores the cabin a little and concludes he could go through the hospital’s records. He rushes to the hospital and asks the head of the hospital if he can identify the result of Yixing’s surgery. Jongdae is left devastated when he’s told that Yixing didn’t make it.