#also centaurs are baller

[cookiesthegreat]

If I may drop my two cents.

That early and young development for toddlers would be different than you would see in traditional western human society.

I would argue that the brain development could be a little faster than human babies. Being born with a more defined bone structure and muscles would lead to a faster onset of motor skills. Which could make the development and learning process faster. I’ve also worked with small kids and toddler and they are fiercely independent creatures. They love tasks and learning more than most people realize. But if they has better functioning of there lil hands they would be even more unstoppable.

So I think that awkward useless baby phase could be shorter than we think in centers. Maybe 2 years even or even less depending on there frontal lobe development with the extra metal skills and ability to learn and explore. Also just imagining an infant having the ability to run is terrifying, centaur or not.

dont go out for a walk alone and late at night when you have been drawing and researching horses/centaurs all day, you WILL end up thinking about the logistics of centaur birth and early infancy development!!!

anyway im going to info dump the stuff i was thinking about :)

since horses can walk and run only a few hours after birth and human babies are practically useless for several years, this would mean that the horse development would need to be drastically slowed down and the human development drastically sped up, but humans require a very long time (after birth) for our brains to develop because most of what we learn is learned socially by interacting with other humans, horses are not like this and most of their knowledge is instinctual.

centaurs have human shaped skulls so its reasonable to assume that they have human-like brains too. this means they require a prolonged childhood in order to grow as social creatures and therefore cannot have an accelerated development as babies/toddlers.

when humans are born they are floppy and things like skulls are soft and in separated pieces, this is because humans are upright standing creatures and the position of the pelvis does not facilitate a comfortable, smooth birth. however, centaurs would give birth out of the horse part so they dont have the same problems as humans when it comes to birth, therefore infant centaurs can be born with hard skulls and stronger bones and muscles. this is good news bc it means that the human half wont be floppy like a human child would.

centaurs are likely to live in groups because that is a shared trait for both horses and humans, so with lots of other beings around, it is less necessary for infants to be very independent. this means that while their lower halves may be able to stand and walk, their upper bodies dont need to be able to be super mobile, because they can rely on others to take care of them. it might be the case that their torsos and arms are much shorter (relatively) than they would be in adulthood, because they dont have much use for their upper body yet. as their brains grow larger and more capable, then their arms start growing and their fingers become more dexterous. as infants centaurs human ribcages may be fused with their horse ribcages, and as they get older the ribcage splits and there becomes a more distinct difference between horse and human halves. throughout childhood, their spines elongate, and their upper body separates from their horse shoulders

im not an expert on human or horse development, this is just based on the little that i actually know so it might not be completely accurate. but yeah thats what i think. also i just made some stuff up that probably doesnt make any biological sense but theyre fantasy creatures so i think im excused a little in terms of realism

i have normal thoughts too i swear 0_0

[cuppajj]

wait a minute. are the destructons supposed to be inspired by mythical creatures. if yes im gonna riot

[eruden-writes]

Sexy Robots and Pinups Part 2!

Alright, I got 5 more packs of these cards! My original post, where I opened 3 packs, can be found here. The artist's name is Hajime Sorayama and I linked to his site on my previous post.

Sadly, 2 packs were completely duplicates. I'll figure out something to do with them.

Anywhodle, I got a ton of really great new cards.

So let's get into it!

Here is the overview of my favorites. Which is all I'm showing right now.

The background on this one is so neat. I'm also glad they're not wearing heels in this one. I just think a robot having feet is a nice change of pace from the "heeled robots" we've seen int his pack.

A dominatrix. ( ͡• ͜ʖ ͡• )

I don't have much to say about this one. I just really like her.

The pose on this one is bonkers. They're supposed to be in space and she is wearing heels or her feet are heels? idk. But the reflections on her body (okay, her ass) make this really mesmerizing to me.

I feel like I've seen this before somewhere...

Anywho, a guy! A centaur! Such a refreshing change of pace. lol

Okay, so I really like this one, because they feel so androgynous/gender queer. I don't think that's what the artist intended, but that's just how it read to me.

Mermaid robot! This is the one I was hoping to get, since I saw different prints of it. It's a little underwhelming in person. I feel like the tail portion should be a bit longer, the knees able to extend higher.

But I enjoy this concept still. :3

Finally, not a femaley robot. They're alright. It's really the detail in the metal and subtle veins that I find super cool on this one.

Here we go, robo-fuckers. A robot with a lady/cyborg!

Kinda wish the robot had silver hair.

Robo-Manchurian Man! Probably my third favorite. I wish they had chosen a different color for the background, though. Maybe a golden yellow?

This one is super phenomenal. Sorayama's detail in the metal - as we know - is really good, but the fabric of the tights? *chef's kiss*

Plus, I'm just glad we finally got to see a robot in a full outfit that's not a dress or negligee.

Ridiculous armor, but I find this card pretty baller. The cyber sword dealie, the wings on the feet, the detail on the armor. There's just a lot to look at here.

Another top fave: Robo Angel.

The detail of the wings is so crunchy, in a good way. I like the background, even though it's pretty simple. There really is some way this guy renders metal that's just really nice.

Anywho, that's all the cards I'm showing. Maybe just for now.

I need to figure out what to do with all these duplicates now. XD

[kaiju-z]

Seon Adventures - Episode 6, “Welcome to the Jungle and That’s the Tea”

Another great episode for us, the group /o/

When we last left off with our heroes, the five of them, Kevin and Killer the War Horses, and Azam had left the ship upon which they shared many unforgettable memories (no matter how much Luck wants to forget some funny and TRAUMATIC TM stuffs).

As Azam ran off ahead of everyone, the party felt themselves envigorated, like they went up a tier in the ladder of adventuring or something (they leveled up) and were now left to their own devices.

Their travel from the docks to the city itself was short as they soon came to realize that Menum was a city of trees. Which is to say that those, who made this rainforest their home had repurposed a number of ridicilously large trees into houses and establishments of various necessities. (Think Return of the Jedi).

Belli and Luck were the most easily impressed, as they are basically the sheltered kids. The more they travel, the closer they get to the center, illuminated by what those of the arcane could gather were Dancing Lights. (I personally assume it’s bio-luminescence from the plantlife surrounding them).

Lead by Mournimar and Belli, the disaster siblings, the party go for a high rise tavern, climbing a rope ladder with much acrobatics in tow, being drawn to the sound of people chanting.

“CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!”

What they find up top is entertaining, to say the least. A new initiate, it appears (we later learn his name is Samson) is chugging down some sort of alcoholic drink, much to the amusement and pressure of his fellows. Some sailors from the ship, others local citizens and Forestheart Bretheren, it seems.

While Mournimar and Belli join in the chanting, Luck searches for information from the bartender, upon the party noticing Azam drinking away his woes. While ordering an ale from the wood elf barkeep, Luck asks some curious questions of the Traveling Gentlemen and learns that four of them passed through here (confirming what Mournimar had told him previously on the ship of their even number now). From what he gets, he now knows that they got on bad terms with the leader of the Forestheart Bretheren and promptly made their leave, after searching for some artifacts. 

What lastly he learns of them is that their next destination was the Capitol, Crystalgate. So Luck will have a lot of backtracking to do, if he hopes to get to them soon. He later joins Azam and continues a conversation from the ship, post-prevented execution.

While this is going on, Samson takes a knee. Or. Well, a back as the drink was apparently too much for him. In the merryment, Mournimar orders himself the same thing and is warned that the stuff, Centaur Moonshine, is very heavy stuff. Much to Belli’s protests and failed attempts at preventing disaster, Mournimar starts chugging and Belli tries to get help from an exhasperated Amelia.

To her chagrin, once she arrives, Mournimar is just. Out of it. Burk is proud (Proud Burk count: 1). Amelia ends up carrying Mournimar to a backroom for a few minutes, where they also see a passed out Samson.

Amelia does not have a good time in Menum, sadly and she doesn’t get a wink of sleep either, even after getting a room to yeet Mournimar into. She takes a corner, after Luck takes a second bed. (MISUNDERSTANDINGS WERE HAD and now Luck feels awkward over the disappointed MOM ENERGY from Amelia).

While the others are nap-nap-napping, Belli sneaks out and in search for someone with two silver rings. She reaches an establishment, bounced on by a tattooed Goliath, with whom she has a conversation, hinting at her relation to Ficus. She needs to learn more about his whereabouts, she misses her brother.

Being let in, she soon finds someone the Goliath had directed her towards, a changeling woman around Belli’s age (IT WAS KIT FROM THE SLEEKCLAW ONE SHOT!) and the two have a heart to heart about Ficus, with whom Kit had worked in the past. Kit gives her directions on where she’d have to go next, if she truly wants to reunite with him and the two go their own way, once they are outside. (FRIENDSHIP GET). Belli safely makes it back to the tavern and gets her shut eye.

In the morning, awkwardness between the pointy boys and Amelia. Burk was sleeping the whole time out in the open and had a close to cordial conversation with an old lady that was more confused than freaked out by the Goblin Barbarian (Gorbarian TM).

Once most of everyone reconvenes, Luck buys the lot of them lunch (including for Burk, which I’ma say he ate in canon, unless Hayden says otherwise). The party get approached by Samson, who introduces himself as such. Samson  Drascullion, druid of The Forestheart Bretheren.

The party begins to ask him some questions, following a failed attempt to extort him for money (Belli and Luck, the greedy kiddos tried to bs poor Samson so hard) regarding the cult and elaborate on their quest to take the cult out of commission, permanently. Mournimar learns that they worship all the allowed deities, which confuses him. Why aren’t they worshipping the forbidden ones instead?! Samson and Luck respectively have to point out something: Samson, that the cult believes their mission to kill everyone (PAINLESSLY, YOU GUYS) is just and therefore pray to the “good” gods; and Luck that it wouldn’t make sense for them to pray to Potencia, as she is the one you call upon for ruthless action, punishment and imprisonment. 

The hooved tiefling has to step away from the table at this point, because he’s very upset. Turns out that this cult had no connection at all to the one he was after, personally. Belli approaches and the siblings share a moment in front of everyone else present, revealing things about their backstories.

Mournimar spills the beans about how he was raised n a cult, worshipping the Forbidden Deity “Potencia”. Goddess of  ruthlessness, control and imprisonment  His mother was a member, but his father faltered.  The mother told on the father and the cult attacked. Mournimar doesn’t remember much after that, but he woke up, covered in blood, surrounded by bodies. His mission from that point on was hunting down all those, who worshipped Potencia and rid the world of them.

He tildn’t want to tell Belli, because he was affraid she’d stop being so close to him. Belli’s opinion of him, however, hasn’t changed as she still loves andcares for her tall pointy “bro”.

And she reveals to everyone of her family’s tragedy, how they were turned to stone in her absence, how she tried to pray for all the gods, including the forbidden ones, Potencia especially, for help, to save them.

But she got no answer.

Mournimar doesn’t think less of her.

The two hug it out. It’s heart warming.

Burk. Has heard. None of this as he was still on ground level when this transpired.

After everyone ate, the party and Samson made a stop at his leader’s base of operations, where Samson got an ok, in private, for the lot of them to have a swing at the Death Cult, with the caviat that the FHB would come a few hours later, should they not be done with this.

Taking the war horses with them, the six adventurers made their way to the stronghold of this cult. Luck even got to bond with Kevin, thanks to Mournimar’s approach : D It was nice and Luck is now just embarrassed. That and he was carried onto Kevin’s back by Belli.

Traveling through this dence jungle, they quickly realize how warm and humid it is in here, as they pass through shrubbery and trees, by animals and what not. Luck is bascally the only one, aside from Samson, who’s got this, since he comes from a warmer climate.

They succeed on their strealthing to the checkpoint of the stronghold and see it in it’s full height of 40 ft. With guards atop, none the wiser.

As they plan on their next move, Belli suggests and implements her infiltration, using invisibility and quickly comes to realize how screwed th party would have been if they just blindly walked in.

Aside of the guards on top, there were at least tw more towerds of archers and a table of four, with one just staring in the direction of the door itself.

Belli sneaks on forward and goes through an opening and down a coridor, on the right of which she passes a guard, just sitting, none the wiser. While she can’t find traps, she does find the courage to take the man out and she does so in a few good rounds of stabbing and blufing him into believing that the “Prophet” willed it to be so., with advantage, thanks to invisibility and then, the mask she had collected from the half-elf from where this whole adventure started.

After looting the body, something good, Belli gets to look through further doors and finds 5 men, 3 red robed, 2 black robed, in what was essentially a break room. She manages to trick thm into believing that the wind opened the door and quickly locks them inside, before proceeding and learning of underground activity, including more multi-colored robed cultists, two minotaur and their leader, handling some bizarre orb.

She quickly comes back to the party and things get wild in a hurry, once she explains the situation to them. (Also. Proud Burk count: 2)

Death-ites bodies begin to drop left and right (and to pieces), with Burk gaining the 6 person kill count, above the rest. The rest do great, especially Amelia and Belli, considering Amelia’s disadvantages on rolls, what with 1 point of exhaustion.

Mockery is quite viciously dealt by the bard and Mournimar fires their arrows like a baller, missing only rarely. Episode 6 marks Luck’s first kill in the campaign as he works to break in his new daggers , taking out one greenlit Redguard, before divestabbing a second, (with Amelia finishing that one off ultimately). This episode also Marks Luck’s first use of the Lucky feat, (1 of 3 uses for the day), in which he gets bad luck and misses his target with the crossbow.

Even Samson gets into the spirit of things and takes and kicks some ass, using his druidic abilities as needed.

By the end of the fight, all the grunts on level oen are killed in a variety of gruesome ways, but one, who escapes in the jungle, where he’ll either die to the wildlife or rethink his life choices.

Mournimar almost died. Seeing Belli getting attacked by archers, he took a jump from 40 ft to get close to Belli and took a lot of damage, which didn’t help when he got shot at by the archers.

Don’t even wanna think what would have happened if he had no potions to chug and healing help from Samson @ - @;;;

The bodies were then, of course, looted and the session ended with the party thinking of a gameplan to proceed. (and the 5 of us dorking around with the scribblign feature).

Previous Episode / Next Episode

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One of the many things about charr society that is high key messed up, though it does raise the question how did the farhars get started? maybe they were just originally for the kids who's parents died in war like a combination orphanage daycare but eventually so MANY parents were dying in war that being raised by your bios ended up the weird concept. (Also god yeah DW themselves cant seem to keep track of the commander good damn luck to anyone else) i love the idea of rytlock staring at this insane legionnaire and just, WONDERING because HOW though XD but theres a juicy bit in there and its do they know zori died? :3c how did they react when they found out ? Oooh practical bonding !! thats actually very sweet XD and the idea of Astralaria sounds perfect!! if theyre lucid can she control her dreams? like what would she choose to see in them? yeah i can see that for any sylvari tbh - with dreams and The Dream being such a big thing for them and the memories that must be in The Dream from mordremoths awakening any kind of nightmares must hold an extra special kind of fear never mind ones vivid enough to be reality

It’s certainly a sight XD i like to envision they do that spy couple thing where they acrobaics around each other - with raina being a revenant/tank and alderbyrne being an elementalist they do a lot of spinning to cover each others weaknesses. Honestly though that sounds like the kind of cryptid no one knows if they should freak out about and its good XD like, the commanders get vaguely spotted, half the battle field wipes the enemy base is taken and the enemies general is dead and. no one really saw how it happened. the stories must be WILD. THOSE NAMES ARE BALLER THOUGH!!! i never considered giving any of mine names like that outside MAYBE amadaria who ends up with the name “amadaria Silverskin” after mordremoths jungle by soldiers outside the pact - a silverskin is a type of pickled onion, and she gets it for how her face changes to be more bark like and sour instead of leafy and open from the stress of the jungle. Pact soldiers who catch you using it will throw hands with you though.  who got which name and how though? like lich and phoenix could both refer to certain canon events but i couldnt find which was which or an extra event when i searched their tags XD (As for legends - alderbyrne does create a legend but its actually pre commander. I refer to them by surname for convenience cause they’re genderfluid, something they found out when making an identity to help fight centaurs as a mercenary. Aurthur “crow” gains a rep for being an absolute centaur killing machine as revenge for their own kidnapping and murdered family) e-oof, at least she gets yahuk back but damn poor nymph, the frost legion is horrifying and for everyone who followed bangar under the idea of a united charr him founding a fifth legion must have been a slap in the face. also yay cat cuddle pile!! the commanders need some damn peace and i am so here for the idea of the people they know loving and supporting them all more !!

Alright so (first hello this is Axe-Trio-Commander's main blog) I will send you. Two facts about my commanders. First, one of the most important things Zori learned from sylvari as a whole is that she can have Many Dads. (If you asked, she'd say her current count is roughly 5.) Second, Seremnis regularly sends Malomedies letters, along with treats- but the letters tend to be... brief, and very often contain both mundane and astonishing things with absolutely no difference whatsoever in tone

Hi!! first sorry for slow response busy the last few days and I dunno how to tell when this was sent so uhh, if its been like a week oops? (I don't think its been that long though) second!! these two sound so adorable though! I agree that that is absolutely the most important thing you can take from sylvari culture because I do honestly love the approach they seem to have to family which really is: as much of it as possible XD who are her dads and how did she obtain them though :o ? (if you want to tell) The image of that is also spectacular, I can vividly imagine poor Malomedies at his desk letter in one hand and alcohol in the other as his poor mathematicians brain desperately tries to work out what the hell is he reading Thanks for sending them in though!!

[jflashandclash]

Traitors of Olympus: Blood of a Mayan

Twenty-Four: Kalypso

Leo Valdez and I Compare Notes from Book One

 The coordinates for Leo Valdez’s location appeared around 6:19 in the morning. Kally knew this because that was when Pax decided to do a very poor imitation of a rooster caw. She wished he had a blow horn instead. That would have been less annoying. Or—even better—that they had a gag.

This was worse than the wakey, wakey work campers! song they played at her Catholic “volunteer” camp in the mornings. Mostly because Pax felt the need to race back and forth across their sleeping bags to emphasize the caw.

Everyone dragged themselves out of bed.

Kally was used to the circadian rhythm’s version of suicide sprints from drama club, where she maybe slept three hours before the last rehearsal, then kept going for each performance their school put on and squished a soccer game before the matinee. Merry was used to it too, but that didn’t stop her from tripping Pax with a grape vine when he raced past her bed.

The Romans had left shortly after the Pax Show the night before, after Reyna went to talk to the Pax brothers under Calex’s recommendation. Kally meant to ask how that went.

Axel went around distributing beef jerky and what Kally could only hope was cleaned river water. Those boys had to have water-cleansing tablets with them, right? Merry huffed at him and waved off the jerky. “Do you have anything else a little less bovine?” she asked.

Pax pulled some grass from the ground and piled it into her lap. “You called for bovine?”

Merry gave him a playful glare that Kally recognized from the times Merry had publicly humiliated and shamed popular kids at their old school. “You’re already on my list for insulting the sounds of nature this morning.”

“Everyone up!” Axel’s call interrupted their conversation. He was half-way through rolling up Calex’s bedroll. The son of Eros had stumbled from his bed and stood there staring at it. Kally hoped he was okay. Calex looked like he might cry. Then she remembered how he described his nightmares.

True, she’d ”fought” Python in her dreams during her few hours of rest, but at least she was the only one in danger. She couldn’t imagine what it would be like to dream about your mother and brother dying every night when you’d actually experienced it.

Axel stood with the bedroll and touched Calex’s shoulder. Almost to distract from the comfort, he called over Calex’s shoulder to the younger Song. “Joey, wake up your sister.”

Joey was grumbling about how she didn’t have any of her facial creams with her and that it was a crime against humanity to degrade someone by keeping them from some good Proactive. “You wake her up,” she snapped louder. “I’m not dying today.”

Kally thought everyone was up, but had overlooked the partially mossy pile that was Euna’s sleeping roll. She snored softly, arms and legs peeking out like she’d had an epic blanket battle in her sleep.

Axel released Calex’s shoulder, sighed, and walked over. He knelt down and touched her shoulder. “Euna--”

Euna punched him in the face.

While everyone was still stunned, she rolled over. A weave of grass followed her movement to tuck her in, acting as the world’s best sentient blanket.

“Yea, we throw stuff at her to wake her up in Cabin Four,” Joey explained. She barely hid a smirk as Axel rubbed his chin. “You should see how many alarm clocks she goes through at home.”

At home. Kally suddenly thought about her parents and siblings. Her parents were probably worried about her the same way one would worry over milk they forgot to buy at the store, but John… Her older brother was a jerk, but she’d been gone for over 24 hours. She hoped he didn’t say or do anything stupid.

A small scuffle erupted between Euna and Axel that ended with Calex carrying Euna—sleeping bag and all—to the Pax mobile.  

Merry did a quick morning prayer to the gods— Athena in particular, for whom she composed a quick riddle—Axel scolded her, and they were off.

As the Pax brothers took the front seats and Calex gently set Euna down in the back, he seemed to come out of a state of numbness. He adjusted his beanie and his scarf before leaning over the driver’s seat to Axel. “Uh, if we’re dropping by Leo, is there any chance we could avoid the… mythological travel?”

His face seemed to take on a green shade just looking through the front window at the golden donkey.

“It’s a ten minute drive, mortal car speed,” Axel assured.

“But I’m sure Leo won’t judge you if you throw up on meeting him,” Pax assured.

Calex didn’t seem awake enough to give Pax a proper distasteful scowl, but he tried his best.

Once everyone settled down, the car ride went quickly. They traveled on back roads, coasting smoothly with the new suspensions Hephaestus installed. From the few informational signs Kally noticed out of Pax’s window, they must have been in some kind of state park.

Pax teased Axel about Reyna the whole ride, providing ample entertainment. As they drove, Kally could hear Merry’s empty stomach moaning beside her. She almost felt guilty tearing off a piece of beef jerky and defending it from Baller… but she hadn’t had a proper meal since the night before, so wasn’t going to stop enjoy her meat.

When they stopped, Kally had expected a palace or a mansion or at least some torches lined up to spell Leo Valdez is Here, similar to a Hollywood sign.

Instead, they came upon a small shack in a clearing, built with various pieces of shimmering metal and wood. The scraps of gold, bronze, oak, and steel were mesmerizing as the morning sun reflected off the structure through the gold and orange trees. An embroidered tapestry hung above the shack with fancy, bold script that read: Leo and Calypso’s Garage. Below was smaller writing: Auto Repair and Mechanical Monsters; Fresh Fruits and Vegetables; Cider and Stew; Tofu Burgers.

There were two picnic tables in front of the shack. Three centaurs stood at one, munching on bowls of stew and pushing each other around. A girl came out to check on their orders. Despite the smudges of dirt on her face, arms, and rolled up sleeves, Kally could tell she was beautiful. She had long caramel hair and radiant skin. The girl was… intimidating. Kally had never met another person named Calypso before, though that’s how people always misspelled her name, if they had a guess at all. Most people expected Kally to look like an exotic model with her name but uh… this girl actually did look like an exotic model.

There was a Hispanic boy with elfish features standing in front of the shack. He seemed far too calm that one hand was smoking and on fire. Not only was he calm, he flipped a patty on that hand like, oh, Berkeley Hills, California regulation states that you need to finish cooking all burgers before you call the fire department.   

And the bronze dragon. Yea, she probably should have first mentioned the dragon hanging out in the clearing behind the shack. The scales outshined the shack, reflecting gold and bronze light everywhere. Two startling red eyes glowed from the dragon’s head as it watched the centaurs—a little too hungrily, Kally thought. Were those rubies? The automaton was so big, the dragon could have easily rolled and crushed the shack, the picnic table, and made some centaur patties. Fortunately, it seemed in a no-rolling mood, and much more intent on sunbathing.

Upon seeing the dragon, Kally’s first instinct was to panic—the first night she met the Pax brothers, the well-dubbed Silver Festus attacked the Pax Mobile. It took a Roman ballista and a well aimed shot from her discus to knock it out of the sky. They’d only gotten lucky that the control disk had popped out. This dragon was much bigger. They could shoot it with a few canons and still end up as a demigod roast.

Kally grabbed her Argonaut statue, wondering if she should climb to the van’s weird sunroof to prepare a futile shot at the dragon’s face, but Axel issued no commands and drove up like this was normal. She really needed to accept that stuff like this was normal… But she’d only known she was a demigod for a month. Maybe another six and she’d find dragons drab and boring.

From the rearview mirror reflection, Kally could see childish excitement in Axel’s brown eyes. It was cute to see him properly emote like a teenager.

Pax’s excitement wasn’t as quiet. He leaned partially out the window and said, “That’s Leo Valdez? He kinda looks like me!”

In the fact that they were both Hispanic, short, and had impish smiles, this was true, though Pax was slightly darker with chubbier cheeks. And the girl kinda looked like Kally, except looking at her was like trying on the same dress as Aphrodite to see who looked better. For an uncomfortable moment, it also made Kally wonder what she and Pax would sell from a stand. Poisoned bake goods? Weasel shirts? Probably weasel shirts.

“Tofu burgers,” Merry sighed wistfully and leaned into Kally’s shoulder. “I think I’m in love.”

“Right,” Calex chuckled. “I’d say a happy ‘two’ on the infatuation meter at best.”

“Tofu burgers are involved. I think that warrants at least a three,” Merry argued.

There was a small clearing about two dozen feet away from the shack that Axel took as a parking lot. He stopped the car, pulled the emergency lever, and exhaled slowly.

Joey grunted and leaned over Pax’s seat to see the flaming boy better. Neither he nor the girl had paid their van any mind. “He looks like a little runt,” she said.

Pax withdrew his apple and tossed it from hand to hand. “I’ve heard a lot about him from Matt. I may never have this opportunity again.” Pax grinned dangerously. “I’ve gotta mess with him.”

Before Axel could say anything, Pax jammed a dart into Axel’s seat belt buckle. He opened the door, pressed the lock button, and slammed it shut.

Axel jerked forward so quickly that his seat belt locked, trapping him. He fumbled to open it, but whatever Pax had done kept the buckle fastened even when the dart was removed. “Ajax!” Axel hissed but his brother was already walking towards Leo, taking a bite into his apple.

Merry shoved Kally forward. She stumbled past Joey and almost over Pax’s seat.

“Stop him!” Axel commanded and withdrew a knife to cut the seatbelt off.

Kally climbed over the passenger seat, pulled the lock up, and almost fell when she opened the door. As she scrambled after Pax, she could hear Calex yelp from the back, “Axel—the child lock is still engaged! I can’t open the back!”

So, for the next few seconds, that would leave it up to her to stop Pax. Well, it wasn’t Pax anymore. It was a six foot, blond police officer rapidly closing the distance between he and the teen.

Leo stopped flipping the tofu burger. The flames encircling his hand vanished, leaving a half-fried patty laying awkwardly in his hands. He had curly black hair, not quite as unruly as Pax’s, but close. His eyes were also dark, and couldn’t focus on one location for long. He wore a dirty army jacket and beat up work jeans.

When Pax leveled with him, Leo grinned. “Hello officer,” Leo said with such casual cheer that Kally assumed upsetting the police was as casual for him as walking in late to math class. “You missed the memo! Yesterday was our store’s official Po-Po appreciate day, but—”

“You’re in violation of California Code SB-1221,” Pax interrupted him while flashing a badge. As Kally approached them, she had to marvel at Pax’s acting. His posture had gone rigid, the same way it did when he mimicked Axel or pretended to be Jason Grace. He kept his chin held high, like an authority figure would. He pointed at the dragon “I’d like to see your permit for that dragon.”

Leo’s eyes widened. “You can see Festus?” He glanced back at the dragon, who glanced back at them with those unnerving and beautiful eyes. It creaked and whirred and Kally realized it was talking. Maybe telling Leo which one of them it would make into brunch first. Did metal dragons eat people?

When the son of Hephaestus returned his gaze, he looked more confused than alarmed. Leo tilted his head to one side, examining Pax like he could open his face and find a control board. “Do you have special Mist-piercing contacts or something? Because that would be sweet and I’d like to talk to your optometrist.”

Once Kally got close enough to interrupt them, she remembered how much she hated improvising. Merry would have come up with some story to drag Pax off before he changed back, so they could pretend they didn’t know the crazy guy dressed as a cop that mysteriously vanished.

“Officer—” Kally couldn’t continue when she saw Pax’s name tag. She burst into giggles.

Leo looked a second later and stifled some chuckles.

“Don’t get started with me Ms. Kassand! You’re still in trouble for Gorgon hunting on private property without permission!” Pax snapped. His authoritarian demeanor was so convincing, she almost went silent, but Leo’s laughter destroyed the illusion.

“Officer Doofus?” Leo gasped through his laughs.

Kally could tell that Pax was losing character. His mouth twitched. “You got a problem with that? You demigods think you’re so special and above the law, just because your parents are gods—”

As the air around Pax seemed to ripple, Axel lurched out of the van. The back doors flew open seconds later with Calex and Joey following after. Merry stepped out leisurely after them. Was Euna still sleeping in the car?

Pax’s hair darkened back to his wild black, his skin tanned, and his uniform lengthened into his duster jacket, T-shirt, and worn skinny jeans. He’d given up the façade to laugh along with them.

Again, Leo didn’t seem that surprised by Pax’s shape shifting. He did pick up on the joke. “Man, you had me for a second there, especially with the code. Is that a violation for illegally parking chariots or something?”

Pax shook his head, still laughing. Axel, Calex, and Joey all slowed down to normal walking pace when they saw Leo hadn’t set them on fire.

Pax straightened up enough to use his salesman-voice, “California Code SB-1221: you can’t use a dog to pursue bears or bobcats. One of the most important laws you need to know to live in the sun state.”

Leo saw the others coming and pulled himself together. “Gotta always worry about your spare bobcats,” Leo said. His eyes drifted over to Kally. One of his hands ignited again and he flipped the tofu patty. “Nice assist on the prank. I’m Leo Valdez—Handyman supreme. That’s Calypso—”

He gestured to the girl. She gave a small wave from where she was still trying to calm the centaurs enough to talk to them. “This is our shop. You can’t really find it unless you’re sent by a god, recommended by a friend or, have a life-or-death situation that can only be fixed with the world’s best cider. So… cider?” he offered.

As Leo went to set them up for brunch at an open picnic table, Pax listed off their names while pointing at everyone. She, Pax, and Merry took one side; Joey, Calex, and Axel, the other. Merry called dibs on the tofu burger he was flipping.

From the tempo and sound of Pax’s voice, Kally could tell Pax really wanted to be this guy’s friend. Pax did say that Matthias spoke about Leo a lot. Maybe Leo was also really into weasels and Reese’s Sticks.

“I’m Ajax Pax, your evil duplicate.[1] Here to tell you what you’re doing right in your life and how to ruin it. But call me Pax because there are too many A’s, too many X’s and too much awesome with—”

“Wait. Ajax Packs?” Leo grinned. “Like Ajax packs the heat? Or Ajax packs a punch? Tell me you do some kind of sport or—”

Pax wound up his arm and Kally could see Pax going in to punch Leo. Fortunately, Axel saw it too and darted his hand across the table to stop him.

Pax pouted. “He asked if I could pack a punch—”

“That’s not what he meant and you know—”

Pax shook Axel off and resumed his introductions. “This is Kally my sort-of-not-girlfriend, Axel, my brother—also the god of awesome—Merry is pretty cool, Joey, and some prick—”

Calex came out of his starry-eyed stare at Leo to scowl at Pax. “Ey!”

“—named Calex. Oh! And Euna is probably in the van and hasn’t gone on some crazy killing spree in pursuit of breakfast.”

Kally wasn’t sure how she felt about being introduced as Pax’s sort-of-not-girlfriend, though—like most things Pax said—it wasn’t fully inaccurate.

Joey sighed and stood back up. “I’ll go get her up. If there’s breakfast involved, she’ll be worse if we don’t wake her.”

As Joey walked away to wake the beast, Leo set out plates for everyone and handed Merry a bun. Merry hummed happily. “Mmm—a curdilicious burger. This might push the infatuation scale to a three—“

“Two and a half at best,” Calex offered with a chuckle.

Leo grinned. “Oh, for me? Sorry ladies, but the Leo machine is taken.” He glanced up to follow Joey’s movement. “I like your party mobile—wow! Are you using a…” Leo paused then snapped his fingers. “A Hygieia Hydraulic prototype?”

Axel sighed. “When I get back to Camp Half-Blood, I’m killing Matthias.”

“You’re from Camp Half-Blood?” Leo asked. His fingers traced a belt around his waist and his other hand fiddled with a fork he’d put on the table.

“Yea mate. They’re curious what is keeping you away,” Calex said. He tried to sound casual and lighthearted, but didn’t quite manage. His voice as a little too high-pitched.

“I kinda died and came back. It can really mess with a guy’s head. I tried to send them a message to let them know I was okay…” Leo trailed off.

Kally didn’t know the details of Leo’s story the way Merry or Calex would, but she overheard Piper lose it at one of her campers for suggesting Leo might be dead. From what Kally heard, he’d sacrificed himself so they could win one of the great wars but the camp counselors seemed to refuse his death. Piper and Leo had been close friends, hadn’t they? Kally could imagine Calex sitting up with Piper, comforting her about Leo.

Leo’s mouth moved like he wanted to say more and he glanced quickly over one shoulder.

That beautiful girl was walking over from the centaur table. She looked annoyed. When she noticed Kally, her eyes narrowed. Then they shifted to Merry, giving her a quick look over. The movement was so quick and subtle; Kally thought she must have imagined it when the girl smiled.

Leo whirled to face her like he’d completely forgotten the rest of them. “Hello there Sunshine,” he cheered. “You still don’t want any help with our party-harty patrons?”

She upturned her chin and huffed. “I see centaur manners haven’t changed in the last 3,000 years.”

Kally saw Pax reach for a dart on his belt. She put a hand over his to keep him from an unnecessary dartfest. Did anything not startle this boy? Kally understood why he’d been nervous around Romans, but this girl didn’t look dangerous. Kally was waiting for the day Pax came running to her because he saw a butterfly that reminded him of a monster.

“You’re the Calypso,” Pax hissed.

Calypso examined Pax. Her eyes had widened in alarm, then relaxed into confusion. “Yes,” she said. Almost to herself, she added, “I don’t know you.”

Although Kally didn’t know why, the disinterest on Calypso’s face calmed her. However, Pax’s outburst sent a ripple through the table. Axel’s eyes narrowed and he folded his hands casually in front of him, resting his chin on his thumbs. This obscured the lower half of his face so she couldn’t quite read his expression. Calex flinched and glanced between Leo and Calypso, looking worried.

Finally, there was Merry who munched with her eyes closed. “Whatever comes out of your mouth better not make this delicious feast any less enjoyable,” she said without opening her eyes.

Pax ignored her. His hand tensed under Kally’s. “No, Ms. Stockholm Syndrome. Most people don’t need to know me for me to know them. But you’re different. I know you from Jack’s poetry.”

Calypso’s jaw went slack, then it slammed shut, and she scowled. Tears rimmed her eyes. “You know Jack?”

“Seeing as I just got to tango with his murderers, I knew him,” Pax corrected. His voice had regained some of his normal buoyancy, but it sounded darker than usual.

Leo’s smile faded. He glanced from Pax to Calypso. “Who’s Jack?” he asked. “Uh, I kinda thought you said it was just Percy, that pioneer dude, and that Sissy guy.”

“Odysseus,” Calypso corrected reflexively. She rubbed her sleeve against her face and choked out, “I’m going to get the stew.”

“Wait—” Leo said, but Calypso was already disappearing back to their shack. She even ignored how two of the centaurs butted heads to vie for her attention. He glared at Pax. “Not cool man.”

Leo raced after her.

Before Calex, Merry, or Kally could ask, the Pax brothers began to hiss back and forth in… Mayan?  Because of their accents and her lack of knowledge in any of their languages and dialects, she struggled to tell if they were speaking Spanish, Mayan, or Kriol.

As the two chattered, Kally could see the Song sisters making their way over from the van. Merry set her tofu burger down and dabbed her lips with a napkin. Kally could imagine the verbal assault and battery that she was about to unleash.

“Hold up. What’s this about Calypso making things more complicated?” Calex interjected.

Everyone stared at him. His grey eyes at full attention, like one of the Pax brothers had addressed him directly.

The Pax brothers paused, glanced at each other, then glanced at Calex.

Axel asked him a question, keeping his hands folded over his mouth. His accent altered slightly with the language.

Pax muttered something under his breath.

“Shut it you dumb bloke,” Calex snapped at Pax. He turned back to Axel. “’Course I can understand you. Now what are you on about?”

Merry gave a hearty laugh.

Some floodgate of emotion broke in Kally and she sighed in relief. “Thank God someone can understand them!” she said. When the boys used language as a way to pretend she wasn’t there… it kind of hurt. Especially considering Pax had told her so much, and that she couldn’t tell his secrets anyway... it almost wasn’t fair.

Merry nudged Kally’s shoulder. “Love and desire speaks all languages. I guess that means Calex does too.”

Calex stared thoughtfully off to the side, then nodded his head. “I can understand most languages after hearing them a few times. I suppose that would be a godly power.”

“So, speak English,” Merry said to Pax and Axel. “Else we’ll get it with a British accent and Pax, you know Calex will make you sound stupid.”

“You’re right. I’d make him sound as he normally does,” Calex said.

“I sound like a scholar and a gentleman,” Pax protested.

By now, Joey and Euna had made their way to the picnic table. Although all of them looked exhausted, Kally was pretty sure she could start a sleep walking club with Euna. Probably a little dangerous in the Greek world. The girl’s eyes were barely open and her hair was plastered to the side of her face. After she plopped down in Joey’s former seat, she scanned the table for food other than Merry’s half eaten burger and found none. Slowly, she glared at her sister in a way that would make sloths proud.

Joey shoved Pax further down the bench into Kally so she could squeeze beside them.  “Don’t look at me. Pax probably scared the food off.”

“Don’t worry Flower Girl. Leo will be back with sweets.” Merry reached across to pat Euna’s head, but Kally grabbed Merry’s wrist and pulled her back. She knew the type of look on Euna’s face and didn’t want Merry to be down one hand.

Merry shook her off with an amused grin. She turned her attention back to Axel. “Let’s start this game of question and answer from the beginning. Why are we here? We know you’re a big fan of being the gods’ errand boy and—as much as I know you wanted to see Mr. Hunkihunk’s childlike wonder at seeing Leo Valdez—” She winked at Calex. “—I’m smelling an ulterior motive. And I doubt you’re here to rescue the Human Torch, who apparently doesn’t need rescuing.”

Axel examined Merry. No one was willing to interrupt the staring contest that rapidly degraded into an uncomfortable stalemate, not even Pax. His eyes flicked down to where Kally had rested her hand back on his—she’d only done it in case Calypso came back out and he went for his darts. He enlaced their fingers, lifted their hands into the air, then opened and closed them at random spots like PAC-MAN trying to eat some ghosts.

Euna put her head down on the table to nap.

Axel sighed, closed his eyes, and spoke softly. “Our father is trying to become a god. I need Leo Valdez to craft a weapon that not… not even Ares’s curse could break.” When Axel opened his eyes, they gleamed in the sunshine. For a moment, they glistened from brown to gold and Kally thought about the vision she saw in the van. “Then, I will be properly equipped to stop him.”

Kally had gathered most of this from Pax, but it was weird to hear Axel say them aloud. It felt anticlimactic at their little picnic table.

“A god?” Joey repeated in disbelief.

Calex’s eyes were wide. “Can the average bloke become a god?”

“He’s going to try,” Axel said.

“And what kind of person is your pops like that he wants to become a god?” Merry asked quietly. Her jaw slanted out of alignment and she rubbed it.

Axel nodded his head. “Not a very good one.”

A silent message passed between the two of them. Merry seemed to notice she was rubbing her face and forced her hand to the tabletop. Kally remembered the bruises Merry had when she left her father’s house and how Merry was seeking emancipation . They really needed an ice cream catch up day.

Pax set their hands down on the table. He squirmed back and forth, keeping his eyes on the ground. Kally thought he’d add something. Instead, he used his spare hand to fumble a necklace out from under his shirt.

“And how does…” Merry leaned forward so her mahogany locks dusted the edge of the table. She glanced past Kally at Pax. He paused and gave her a devilish grin. “Ms. Stockholm Syndrome make things more complicated?”

“Isn’t Calypso from the original myths? What’s she doing here?” Joey piped up. She sat up straighter and leaned forward to be more part of the conversation.

Merry nodded. “She was locked up tight on an island as punishment for supporting the Titans in the First Titan War. The gods would send her heroes to spice up her life, but they would always want to leave. She wasn’t known for being a good sport about it and, when Odysseus decided he was ready to stop the hanky-panky and go home to his waifu, she went a little Misery on Odysseus, for maybe seven years or so.”

Pax scowled. He released his necklace and his hand tightened an uncomfortable amount on Kally’s. “She shows her affections in unconventional ways.”

Axel frowned through his fingers. “Jack was a mess afterwards.”

“She captured your friend?” Joey asked, clearly skeptical of Jack’s abilities to defend himself from a tiny woman. “Is this the guy you kept calling the Scourge of Rome?”

Axel hesitated. “Propaganda. Not all killers are brave and not all monsters are ugly.” He glared over at the shack. “We needed Jack for the war and Atlas suspected he knew where Jack had disappeared.”

“So, you went to get him?” Calex asked.

Axel shook his head. “Mortals can’t find Ogygia except as teasers to Calypso, but Titans can. Prometheus and Atlas went to bargain for his release.”

“She had him gagged and muzzled like a dog,” Pax grumbled. “You know, like you do with people you love that want to leave.”

Kally felt her stomach drop. She wanted to assume Pax was joking, but she had a terrifying image of Pax as an ex-boyfriend, dressing up as a killer rabbit to scare away potential future boyfriends. Assuming future boyfriends were a thing that would ever happen.

Joey rolled her eyes. “Leo is here and ungagged. And I heard some rumors about Percy and this girl. He’s also ungagged. Maybe she changed her ways.”

Axel grunted. “Yea, and maybe Zeus said that humans and gods are born equal or Chiron will stop sending heroes out to die.” He shook his head. “Atlas made her swear on the River Styx that she wouldn’t hold heroes against their will anymore. We couldn’t have her taking anyone else from our cause. How ironic that the next one to show up was probably Percy Jackson.”

Calex said, “I do get some odd feelings off them. Though they do fancy each other just fine.”

“Calypso is probably worried we’re going to drag him back to Camp Half-Blood,” Axel mumbled to himself.

“Well, duh. Leo belongs in Camp Half-Blood,” Joey said. “Why should she care?”

Kally thought about how it would feel living on an island for 3,000 years in solitude. At first, she thought it might be awesome: all that time for writing, reading, and video games. The best part: there’d be no school, no annoying chemistry assignments to fail, and no cute boys to make her freeze up and feel like the world’s most realistic ice sculpture. But she was already lonely without Merry and it had been about a month since she moved to New York. And if the only people to visit would inevitably want to leave you…

“She’s probably scared of having to interact with others,” Kally blurted. When Merry, Axel, and Calex turned towards her, she thought about crawling under the table, but pushed forward. “If everyone she loved left her when she was on an island, I could see her being afraid of them having… more distractions off the island. And she might be nervous about talking to people in general. I wonder if Leo hasn’t gone back because she’s still adjusting.”

Could there be adjustment periods for 3,000 years of near solitude and separation anxiety? She could imagine trying to talk to a school counselor about that. “Uh, I’m a little afraid my boyfriend might leave me. The last 26 did.”

Kally had never been stranded on an island and she was terrified of social interaction. It would be unrealistic to think that wouldn’t leave a person bitter, anxious, and vindictive about the isolation. Especially when you looked like Calypso and could offer immortal paradise and boys still chose to leave.

Pax let go of Kally’s hand. Although she still felt uncomfortable with the exchange, her skin felt cold without his. He pouted at the ground and grumbled, “Nice to know you’ll sympathize with me when I do terrible things in the future because I have a traumatic back story.”

“You’re probably right,” Merry said. She must not have heard Pax, or was ignoring him. Merry gave Kally a little shoulder nudge of approval. She asked Axel, “So, you’re worried she won’t do us any favors for fear we’ll whisk away her knight in greasy armor. I think I can change her mind on that or at least distract her, with a little permission from all of you.”

Merry pressed something on her jacket and smooth jazz filled their ears. The music sounded more like high-quality-surround-sound rather than a dinky jacket radio.

The nearby centaurs perked up like social justice warriors detecting a racist comment.

Axel grinned, tapping his fingers across his goatee. “I like your idea, daughter of Dionysus.”

 Kally wasn’t sure how often she’d get to say it, but having a couple of centaurs handy helped a lot. As soon as Merry had their permission and gave a summary of her plan, she switched her powers on. Maybe it was because they hadn’t had enough sleep or that they’d finally had a chance to relax after almost 24 hours of questing, but Kally calmed when Merry turned the music up. She thought about how easy it was to hide in a corner when other people were dancing and was blissful at the idea.

The centaurs did the opposite.

“Party time!” one cried.

The other two bumped their heads together.

“Alright everyone, if you want to make this far easier on me, give a quick shout out to something that makes you happy! It can be sad-happy or excited-happy. Preferably something giddy-happy though,” Merry shouted. She stood up and gave everyone a charming smile.

Kally wondered how long it would take Leo and Calypso to come back out with the throb of music and the soon-to-be shouting. Merry’s jacket must have had telepathic subwoofers to make the picnic tables buzz the way they did.

Merry pointed at Joey.

Joey smirked and stood up with her. “Easy: dancing.” She put her hands on her hips and Kally could see Joey was already swaying to the beat. Something about Joey’s smile felt contagious.

Although the look on his was a sad grin, Calex stood up as well. “Waking up Tom in the morning,” he said. Although the motion seemed to pain him, he poked Euna in the side.

Euna sat up—Kally expected her to break Calex’s finger—and grumbled, unironically, “A full night’s sleep.”

Merry glanced at Kally. Panic swelled in her. She knew it didn’t matter what her shout out was, but she didn’t want to—

“Starting a new journal,” Kally said and jumped to her feet before Merry could poke her.

“Woo-hoo! Literacy!” One of the centaurs called and smashed a bowl on the table.  

That was less nerve wracking than she thought it would be, even with the Thor-centaur. Merry gave her a thumbs up.

Pax stood up. “A happy family,” he said.

Axel sighed and joined them standing. “When Reyna is trying not to smile.”

Pax nudged Euna with his arm. “Euna, you need to stand up so we can finish our transformation and turn into Sailor Scouts.”[2]

Euna grumbled and stumbled to her feet.

As soon as she did, the centaur, who had originally shouted Party Time, joined in their declarations with, “Red velvet cheesecake!”

“Fuzzy rabbits!”

“The Anti-Corruption Act!” the last one shouted.

The other two stared at him for a moment, shrugged, and echoed, “The Anti-Corruption Act!”[3]

Kally didn’t know what that was, but Axel nodded in approval.

During all their exclamations, someone else crept over. The bronze dragon made a creaking sound from a spot almost directly above Kally. She felt like she should have been more afraid, but the addition of a cheerfully creaking dragon seemed appropriate in the sunny weather.

Kally hadn’t realized she was starting to shift from foot to foot to the beat. Although Merry had warned that her demigod powers magnified with excitement and joy, she hadn’t realized exactly how nice the community feeling and electrojazz would be.  

One of the centaurs, Mr. Anti-corruption jumped onto the picnic table, collapsing it. He took off his Party Ponies shirt and swung it over his head while shouting, “Washington Chapter loves remixes of Louis Armstrong!”[4]

“Yea!” the other two cheered.

Then rushed at their group.

“Not again,” Calex grumbled.

Kally wasn’t sure what to expect, but burst into laughter when one centaur took Calex’s arm to dance with him and another took Joey’s. The height-to-horse ratio was a little ridiculous, but none of them seemed to mind.

Leo and Calypso rushed out of their shack.

Leo frowned at the picnic table, though he perked up at the music. “Aw man, it took me like, 30 seconds to make this table!” Although Leo attempted to look stern, he laughed when he saw Festus swing his head to the music.

A rustling came from the woods. Normally, Kally’s demigod instincts might have shouted danger but, with the music and the pleasant warmth of the sunshine on her face, she knew it couldn’t be evil.

A dozen nymphs and satyrs skipped out of the woods, wearing colorful crowns made of fallen leaves. They needed no invitation or conversation to prance among the centaurs and half-bloods. Kally giggled as the nymphs poked the satyrs horns with sticks then darted away, in a cat-and-mouse dance.

Someone poked her in the ear.

Kally jumped. Pax stood beside her with his devilish grin. He winked his hazel eye. “Try and catch me Cyclops,” he invited.

Kally wanted to do something more than blush. On a whim, Kally lunged forward as though she was going to pursue him then stopped short.

Pax jumped back, though almost stumbled when she didn’t follow. They laughed.

Kally could see Axel offer a hand to Euna. She stared at him.

“I promise you’ll get food afterwards,” he said.

“I can’t dance,” she stated. She didn’t sound embarrassed about it, but factual.

“But you can fight,” Pax pointed out. His eyes remained on Kally and he hopped from foot to foot, the way he often did before doing something stupid. Although he kept focused on her, he said to Axel and Euna. “You ever see Avatar the Last Air Bender? Just take her through some fighting stances.”

Euna shrugged. Within seconds, the satyrs, nymphs and the rest of their group learned to give them a wide birth while they ran through practice drills to the beat. Both laughed when Euna accidentally whapped Axel in the face.

“How have you seen so much TV?” Kally asked Pax as he pranced closer to her.

“It’s how Luke shut up Matt and me when we were causing too much trouble,” Pax said proudly.

When Kally glanced over, she saw Merry had danced up between Calypso and Leo. Calypso looked uncomfortable, the way Kally usually felt at school dances. Part of Kally felt sympathy for her. Dances were super awkward, and they hadn’t even formed a circle group yet. Something about Merry’s music calmed Kally though. Maybe she should pull Calypso in for a dance so she knew she was welcome.

“Man, we gotta start charging party fees,” Leo laughed. His hands fumbled around his apron, withdrawing pieces to construct a quick party hat out of a paper plate. That boy’s fingers could move fast.

“Oh no, honey. Other way around. I’m great for business as you’ll have plenty of greedy tummies to feed in a bit,” Merry hummed with a broad smile. “This one is on the house though because your tofu burger was so yumlicious. However, this party will only be complete with the Leomeister and Calydoll.”

“I might head inside,” Calypso said. She touched her head. “My head kinda hurts. I think I’m going to go lay down.”

Kally had looked away for too long. Pax dove at her. She yelped and stumbled back, but Pax stopped short when he registered what Calypso said. He glanced over at the same time as Axel, who also paused in his fight-dancing with Euna.

Axel nodded to Pax. Then got struck in the face. Again.

Pax scrambled over to Calypso’s side. “Hey! Yea, syndrome-calling is bad and stuff, and I shouldn’t have called you those things.”

If it was anyone other than Pax, Kally might have believed him. But Kally recognized the tone and it said, I should have said worse things.

“That’s not much of an apology—” Leo started to say but Pax cut him off.

“But I have something that will stop you from feeling your headache,” Pax offered. He withdrew a vial from inside his jacket that Kally had never seen before. Unlike his knockout serum and poison, it was full and glittered like the stars. “Our dad owns a pharmaceutical company and this stuff works better than a dream.”

Calypso glared at Pax, probably still unhappy about what he’d said earlier, but her want for a headache remedy won out.

Kally might have been disappointed when Pax took Calypso to the side, but the ensuing game of musical, dancing chairs distracted her. Calex and Joey managed to escape the centaurs and rejoin their group.

Axel left Euna to Calex with strict instructions that she not accidentally kill Calex. Before Leo could go after Calypso and Pax, Axel snagged Leo’s arm and took him to the side. Axel said something about needing to do business before they could party. Merry, Calex, and Leo all looked disappointed as Axel led Leo to the van.

That was the plan though, right? Now Axel could ask Leo to build that unbreakable weapon. But she had to wonder—Axel had mentioned Hephaestus had fixed all the weapons in the back of the van. What tool or talent could Leo have access to that Hephaestus wouldn’t also have?

Merry placed a hand on Kally’s shoulder. “We don’t need pretty boys to have fun,” she said, laughing and shoving Kally to sway her hips.

Joey came over to join them and give Kally a few pointers on dancing. Kally never thought of herself as a good dancer, but Joey proved to be surprisingly encouraging despite all of her criticism. Joey was phenomenal. Kally had almost forgotten the dance battle she had against Apollo when they first got to camp.

“We have a school dance coming up,” Joey shouted over the playful bounce of music. Since the music never seemed to change level when Kally stepped closer or further from Merry, she wondered if part of its magic was to keep it the same volume for anyone partying. “You should all come. I can invite Pax as my date. Euna can invite Axel.” Joey flipped her hair. “I’ve got plenty of friends who would love to take Calex or one of you two if I tell them to.”

“Mmm, I do love parties,” Merry cheered.

Kally envisioned Joey as a mob boss, controlling a roving group of pre-teen girls in pop-star hoodies and perfect makeup. Kally would rather fight Aphrodite’s Devils again than have to keep up conversation with them. Instead of rejecting Joey’s offer, Kally asked, “Joey, don’t you have a boyfriend you’d want to invite instead?”

Kally often forgot Joey was two years younger than her. Despite her age, Kally couldn’t imagine Joey not having a boyfriend.

Joey glanced over to make sure Euna was distracted by Calex. As though she wasn’t shouting, she leaned toward Merry and Kally. “I’m dating Apollo, but he’s really busy.”

That took a moment to process. “My dad?” Kally balked. Regardless of how gods could change their appearance, something about her fourteen-year-old… friend? Could she really call Joey a friend? But her fourteen-year-old friend dating her 3,000 year old father seemed like something she should report to the school counselor and maybe some kind of super powered police force since she doubted their counselor could do much. Did Chiron have a policy for camper-god relationships?

Merry shook her head to the music. “You think you might be a bit too much of a young kitten for—”

           “Nope,” Joey stated without a hint of offense or uncertainty. “When I’m older, I’ll marry him and become a goddess.”

           “Joey, Goddess of Vanity.”

           Kally jumped when Pax appeared beside her. He grinned, winked his hazel eye at her, and slipped his hand into hers.

           Joey huffed, but didn’t break her smile.

           “Where’s Calypso?” Kally asked. It felt weird to say her own name like that.

           “Telling Morpheus I said, ‘sup,’” Pax said.

           “Is she alive, Mr. Vague?” Merry hummed, tapping his cheek.

           “When I saw her last. I went to make some Kool-Aid after—”

           “Are you the girl who considered herself worthy enough to marry a god?”

           Despite the merry atmosphere, everyone jumped when an older woman spoke beside Joey. None of them saw the woman walk up. Or maybe it was a dryad with a shawl? Kally couldn’t be sure, but she’d never seen a dryad hunched over like this one was. Kally couldn’t even see the speaker’s face, but the woman’s voice sounded aged with contempt and haughtiness.

           Merry went from shaking her head to the beat to rapidly shaking her head at Joey. She made consecutive slicing motions at her neck like to say, cut it out. Pax stepped behind Kally, in a way that cued Kally that this was not a mortal.

           Joey ignored her. “Augh, not right now. I haven’t done nearly enough quests yet. I doubt anyone knows me on Olympus. But, Hercules became an immortal. And Psyche married a god. If I work hard at it, anything can happen,” Joey said it with such casual confidence, Kally might have believed her… except she was talking about becoming immortal and marrying Kally’s father. For the record: gross.

           Kally decided she didn’t want to be there for that conversation anymore. Although she assumed Merry’s powers were blocking her from fully understanding her discomfort, it was definitely a killjoy.

           Joey laughed, her eyes sparkling. “Can you imagine it? Eternal beauty? Parties every night?”

           The old woman scowled at Joey, saying, “What did Hermes call it? The illusion of capitalism? Saying you can do anything if you put your mind to it. What a lie they tell children these days.[5] You don’t think it bold for a mortal to want godhood?”

Kally tugged on Pax���s hand.

           “Can we—can you and I—go for a walk in the woods?” Kally whispered. She didn’t want Pax to misunderstand and invite Joey to come along. She hoped he’d come up with an excuse as to why it should be a walk without her—

           Pax nodded, eager to get away from the older woman. He walked them towards the line of orange and yellow trees. To the others, he said, “Guys, Kally and I will be right back. We are going to go make out in the woods.”

           “Pax!” Kally hissed and struggled to withdraw her hand. That’s not what she meant—

           He tapped her nose with his other hand. “What? I’m a forward thinker.” He grinned. “And you didn’t seem like you wanted to be followed, Cyclops.”

           They walked past Festus, where he whirred his gears and bobbed his head. Kally wondered if the vibrations from the music felt like a massage to his wires. Two centaurs were doing a dance around him. Either that, or they were creeping up to attack, but Kally figured Festus could defend himself in the event of a pony riot.

           “That make out comment—it’ll encourage Merry to follow us,” Kally complained once the music quieted to sound more like an iPad and less like the best speakers ever.

           As she said it, a brilliant explosion of light erupted behind her. At first, she wondered if Leo Valdez had heard about her super nova and wanted to show her up. Then she heard a terrifying voice bellow, “Impetuous mortal!”

           When Kally turned, she saw all the centaurs and nymphs had dropped to grovel on their knees. Calex and Euna froze in mid-dance. There was no longer an old woman beside Joey, but a beautiful goddess, garbed in a glowing white gown and a cloak of peacock feathers. Her black hair was wrapped with golden ribbon in plaits down one shoulder. Those eyes burned with ferocity and radiated power.

           The music quieted. Merry joined the groveling with a quick, “Holy Hera!” Kally wasn’t sure if she was swearing or genuflecting. Merry tugged at Joey’s arm, but the daughter of Demeter stood there, gawking at the goddess.

           There were so many feathers. Kally had to wonder what Joey said to make the old woman combust into a boa with limbs.

           “You think you can handle the same trials and tribulations of the pious Psyche and the great Hercules?” the goddess demanded.

           Joey swallowed and clenched her fist. Kally was impressed. She would have apologized, cried, and probably managed to trip and knock herself out, but Joey stood her ground. “I can,” she said, though Kally could hear her voice quiver.

           Hera’s eyes narrowed. “Very well,” she snapped. Hera raised one hand and Kally was pretty sure they were about to witness a half-blood being smacked into a constellation. Instead, something appeared in Hera’s hand.

           A polished rosewood box with golden filigree.

           Kally was too far to see those details on the box, but she knew that’s what it looked like. She’d seen it before, but she couldn’t remember where.

           “This box allows you to carry the essence of a god or abstract thought. Travel into the Underworld and bring me the essence of Hades and Persephone’s happy marriage. Let’s see if you’re worthy to be a hero, let alone a consort of Apollo.”

           Kally recalled something Rachel said to her in her dream—that there would be a domino effect into a disaster with causalities on both sides.

           “Both sides?” she’d asked. “Monster and half-blood?”

           “No,” Rachel had frowned. “Traitor and hero.”

           And seeing that polished rosewood box, Kally knew that was one of the first dominos.

           Pax frantically tugged Kally’s arm. “We need to go tell Axel,” he whispered.

             Pax dragged Kally into the forest before they could see if Joey accepted the box. From the sudden pop they heard, Kally guessed Joey had accepted the box and Hera had disappeared. Either that or Hera popped Joey into confetti.

           Kally tried to balance not-panicking while scanning her memory for that box. She guessed it must have been from a vision, but she couldn’t pinpoint which.

           Although Pax rushed when they first set out, he slowed them down drastically when they heard Leo from somewhere ahead. “Uh… you want me to what?” the son of Hephaestus sounded like Axel had asked him to jump rope with a Fury’s flame whip. Though, if Leo really was fire proof, he probably could do jump rope with a Fury’s whip. Maybe she shouldn’t mention that to Pax since he might demand a performance.

           With the rays of brilliant sunlight sparkling through the woods, everything glowed yellow and orange. Axel and Leo stood out starkly. Kally hadn’t seen where they went at the start of the dance party, but Axel must have grabbed something from the van. He leaned against a tree, holding some kind of insulated sack in his hand.  

           Kally had to wonder how they didn’t hear Hera’s temper tantrum in the background, but she supposed the centaurs had kicked over a table at the start of their party.

           Pax stopped behind a large oak. He tugged Kally close and motioned for silence. Kally stumbled into Pax’s duster jacket and wanted to remind him that she wasn’t keen on his original public excuse for their departure.

But Pax leaned along the tree to watch the two talk. Kally wanted to point out that it was more important to make sure Joey wasn’t tiny pieces of paper than any prank Pax planned on playing on Axel, but Kally understood why Pax had paused. Axel looked… weird. Too business-like.  

“—with the temperature you’ll need to remove the metal, I’m not sure it would be safe for Calypso to help you.” With such routine smoothness to his speech, Axel must have been continuing a long list of instructions.

Leo waved his hand, pacing back and forth. He had a flip notebook in one hand and a pencil in this other. “Na man, her temper is hotter than any fire I can spill. She’s resistant. Plus I made her a fireproof Iron Lady suit so she can help me on more complicated projects.” Axel perked up at this information. Leo didn’t notice. He was sketching some kind of design. “So, melt the metal out of some coals and build a Buster Sword. Jeez amigo, you made this sound way cooler than it is. And why are you being so secretive with the payment? Do you have counterfeit ambrosia or something?”

Axel reached into the bag and withdrew the Silver Festus’s control disk. A month ago, when Kally first met the Pax brothers, they’d been attacked by a silver automaton dragon. With the help of the Romans, they’d managed to dislodge its control disk and shut it down. After seeing the real Festus, Kally understood the nickname.

Leo’s eyes went wide. “Holy Toledo! That’s Felix’s control disk!” He dropped his pen into his work belt and rushed within inches of Axel. “You have no idea how long it took me to find that much silver without Hazel around! Where did you find her?!”

“Your dragon attacked us,” Axel said.

“Automatons these days, am I right? They grow up so fast.” Although Kally could hear the jest in Leo’s voice, he eagerly darted around the disk, taking note of any of its imperfections. “I wonder why she—oh! Oooooooh!” Leo snapped his fingers and pointed at Axel. “You have a girl named Calypso in your group, right? Uh, Kelly or whatever?”

Kally flinched. She hated being called Kelly.

Pax glanced away to give her an evil grin. She had a feeling she’d hate it even more in the next few days.

“Kally,” Axel corrected.

“I was in the middle of programming Felix’s search engine—the search-and-rescue kind not the Google kind—when she disappeared. Felix was supposed to find Calypso if we ever got separated, but I never got to the ‘rescue’ part of the programming. Looks like Felix is good at finding Calypsos. Well, thanks for returning my disk.”

Axel didn’t look amused. Leo reached to take the control disk, and Axel tilted it up and away from his hand. “Before I give you this, I need you to swear that you’ll finish building the sword. This metal is cursed.”

Axel shook the bag in his hands. Although she already heard him mention coals, she expected some kind of metallic jingle instead of a swoosh of smoke from the bag. Were the coals on fire? “Weird stuff will start to happen when work starts on it and probably won’t stop until it’s done.”

Leo frowned. “What? Did you rob a mummy or something? I’m pretty sure that’s illegal in the book of Rawr.”

“Ra,” Axel corrected again.

When he continued his cold stare, Leo sighed. “Okay, okay. I guess it cursed away your sense of humor too.”

“A handshake will bring it back,” Axel gave him a crooked smile. He looped the satchel’s straps around one arm so he could extend a hand. “On the River Styx, you swear to finish this sword as soon as possible and give it to me and I promise to give you Felix’s disk and do everything I can reasonably do to get you her body. Once I’m done with my mission, respectively.”

“On the River Styx? For a sword?” Leo put his hands on his hips. “Are you sure you’re not a con man? Because you’re starting to sound like Sisyphus.”

Axel frowned. He put the silver disk into the bag.

“Wait—okay, okay.” Leo put his hands up. He fiddled with his tool belt and glanced at the ground, thinking. “It’ll take me a day, day and a half tops. Probably a day and a half if you’re expecting parties and tofu burgers.”

“Deal,” Axel said and put his hand back out.

Pax tensed. As Leo took Axel’s hand to shake, Pax bolted towards them, almost knocking Kally over. “HEY!” he shouted.

But Leo was already shaking.

Kally had learned her lesson about swearing on the River Styx to a Pax boy. It’s why she couldn’t tell any of Pax’s secrets. It was frustrating when Merry teased her about conversations that Merry assumed were romantic and weren’t, but it didn’t hurt beyond that. Plus, this was with Axel, not Pax. Axel always seemed more candid than his brother. But she wondered why he had all these extra precautions. Wasn’t Leo just making Axel a sword?

Leo and Axel glanced over. With the attention in their direction, it would probably look worse if Kally continued to stay half-hidden behind a tree. She stepped out, wishing she had anything to do with her hands and a way to explain away the eavesdropping.

Pax stopped a foot short of them. “Hera gave Joey a fancy box to get marriage advice from Persephone.”

Leo blinked. “Wait, Hera was here? As in goddess Hera? Shouldn’t there be more chaos and general annoyance? And—hey!” Leo suddenly seemed to remember what Pax had said to Calypso. “You were a jerk to Calypso.”

Pax shrugged. “I told Calypso I shouldn’t have said those things. Leo, let’s restart. I want us to be friends. I’m Officer Doofus of the Doof Diversion Team—”

“Ajax,” Axel interrupted. “Aren’t you supposed to be making Kool-Aid to calm everyone’s nerves?”  

Pax pouted and fiddled with something in his duster jacket, eerily similar to how Leo fiddled with his tool belt. “Fine,” Pax grumbled. “You go make more devious sounding plans. Come on Kally.”

 When they came out of the forest, the party had resumed. Hera was nowhere to be seen. The nymphs, satyrs, and centaurs were dancing. Merry must have turned the music back up.

Pax ran off to make some Kool-Aid in the shack. He seemed… more upset than she’d expect from an eavesdropping session, but she continued forward when he waved her on.

              Their friends were back at the picnic table. Kally expected Euna to be shouting at her sister for her recklessness, but Euna had passed back out on the table. That girl must have really loved to sleep. A glass of green liquid rested in front of her, probably the Kool-Aid Pax made.

              “Is Axel’s master sword under construction?” Merry asked. She looked tired, her honey skin glistening with sweat, though Kally wasn’t sure if it was from dancing or from pushing Euna and Joey back into non-killing moods after Hera’s interruption. She sat beside Joey, who wasn’t confetti, with Calex across from her.

              The rosewood box was on top of the table, partially covered by Joey’s hands. When compared to her fingers, the box seemed small, not something to hold the essence of a god. Now that Hera wasn’t around, Joey looked pale and sick. Kally could imagine her epiphany of, “Oh, Hera meant that Underworld. Can I fill this with Gushers instead?” Kally wondered what Euna said to her before falling asleep that made Joey realize a trip to the Underworld probably wasn’t a good thing.

           From the silence prior to her arrival, no one wanted to talk about Joey’s new quest.

              “He and Leo are taking a long time to get things sorted,” Calex said. He frowned at the rosewood box thoughtfully. The gloom in his grey eyes made his gaze feel hundreds of miles away. Probably back in Kakata, Kally thought.

              “Leo said it would take a day or so to make,” Kally said. Something about that conversation didn’t feel right. She didn’t want to bother them or say something to make the boys sound suspicious, especially not after the Missing flier from Hiro and Lapis. But she remembered Calex saying something…

           “Hey Calex,” she prompted quietly.

           When he glanced at her, Kally tried not to look away. She was finally getting comfortable looking all of them in the eye, and it was just in time to remind her that Calex looked like you’d expect a son of Eros to look. “Um, you said something about coals being stolen, er, some kind of rumor at camp…?” Her voice went softer with each word. Merry’s party euphoria must have been wearing off, since her instinct to hide under the nearest piece of cardboard to avoid socializing—it was coming back.

           In the distance, she saw Pax stroll out of the shack, balancing several dozen plastic cups and four pitchers of clear, glittery liquid on a tray. When he ran into a centaur or nymph, he would bow grandly and fill them a cup. As it poured out, the liquid would alter into various neon shades of Kool-Aid. As cool as that was, it made Kally wonder if Pax should ever be allowed to brew them Kool-Aid.

           “Coals…” Calex repeated. “Oh. Hestia’s coals. Someone nicked a few during the chaos of the Second Giant War. Why?” He stooped a little lower to the table, and Kally had to wonder if Calex did it to hide his height. It didn’t work.

           Merry cocked her jaw to one side. Her brown eyes darted to the forest. She hummed in short, declining notes to signal her disapproval. “Oh you silly chillies. We need to round up those Pax boys and give them a talking to. Then we should regroup at Camp Half-Blood before we tackle the last trial of Psyche or Axel’s father.”

           Joey managed to draw her eyes from the rosewood box to look at Merry. “Psyche already did this? Oh duh, someone has always already done it.” She rolled her eyes. “How’d she do it?” The last part sounded more eager than Joey would probably want to admit.

           “She failed sweetie,” Merry said, eyes lingering on the forest.

           Joey huffed and flipped the pink highlights out of her eyes. “Then I just need to be better than Psyche.”

           “Welllll,” Merry said, stretching her arms above her head in a way that made Calex glance away. She grinned at Joey, finally breaking eye contact with the trees. Kally didn’t know how to tell Merry, but she figured the nymphs would be way better at staring contests. “Hubris is clearly your fatal flaw, a very popular choice amongst heroes. Mine is taking things too lightly. Anyone else want to go?”

           “Mine is cowardice.”

           Pax swept in with the tray. He had one pitcher left, probably just enough for their group. In a flash, he’d tossed cups in front of all of them. As he poured it out, the colors altered: Merry’s, purple; Kally’s, red; Joey’s, pink; Calex’s, blue. Pax set another cup down for himself. When he poured, it shimmered to a black. Kally didn’t know they made black Kool-Aid.

           “Can we do that party thing again? It was the perfect distraction to slip bugs into Calex’s sleeping bag,” Pax cheered.

           Calex scowled at him.  

           “Not until you and your brother answer some long awaited questions,” Merry said. She picked up her plastic cup and swirled the contents.

           Pax flipped one hand to the side. “Do you think questions feel rather esteemed and self-important when they’re long awaited?” He set the tray down on the table and sat beside Kally. When no one answered him, Pax pouted. “Can we at least cheers first? I told everyone to wait until I gave the signal so I could poison all of you at once.” He tapped his hands together like an evil mastermind.

           All the centaurs and nymphs were staring at the table, drinks in hand. The centaurs had started to fist pump in the air. “Beers! Beers! Beers!

           Another shouted, “Dude, he said cheers.”

           “Oh…Cheers! Cheers! Cheers!”

           Merry waved Pax on with a smile.

           Pax hopped onto the table and raised his glass. “To trusting and trusted friends, to enabling family, and—most importantly—to super, awesome weasels!”

           The nymphs and centaurs glanced at each other. The ones who were chanting “beer” earlier glanced at one another. “Eh,” one said. “Not as good as the Anti-Corruption Act, but it’s still a reason to party. To weasels!”

           “To weasels!”

           They stomped their hooves and clanked their heads together.

           As the centaurs competed to chug their Kool-Aid fastest, Pax sat down beside Kally. He wrapped an arm around her waist, making Kally’s hip tingle. She raised her cup along with Merry, Joey, Calex, and Pax. They clacked them together and each took a sip. Well, Joey chugged hers down. Kally could imagine the adrenaline rush she would get in the next few minutes.

           As expected from the color, Kally’s was cherry. She set the cup down, glancing over at Pax. He hadn’t touched his drink, but kept swirling it in his hand. From this close, Pax’s annoying chocolate smell mixed wonderfully with the smell of her Kool-Aid. He puffed out those round cheeks and popped them, then wrinkled his button nose.

           “Pax, you’re really cute.” The words came out of her mouth instead of being repressed in her brain, where they belonged and should die. Kally felt her cheeks burn and her head felt light.

           “Paxes—er—Paxi?—Paxes? are all adorable, but, for you, that’s just the Morpheus Dust talking,” he laughed half-heartedly.

           Joey collapsed onto the picnic table, plastic cup clattering to the ground. Behind them, the party ponies staggered to the autumn leaves. Nymphs yawned. The music slowed like Merry’s jacket had run out of batteries. Calex tried to stand but crumbled backwards.

           Pax wouldn’t look down at her, but watched everyone falling into heaps.

           “You shouldn’t joke like that. It makes it hard to tell when you’re lying,” Kally said, trying to raise a finger at Pax. She couldn’t get her hand to work. Those and her feet had gone numb. Some part of her screamed that this should be scary, that she should send out an Iris Message for help, but… maybe Merry’s powers were still keeping her calm.

           She struggled to keep her eyes open. Had Pax not had an arm around her back, she might have fallen off the bench. He pulled her close, so she’d slide against his duster jacket. The leather felt soft.

           “I don’t lie very often Kally,” he whispered into her hair. “Direct lying is Axel’s job. Since you’re not going to remember this conversation later, I think it’s safe for me to admit that I’m falling in love with you. I hope tricking and drugging all of you doesn’t ruin our chances of dating.”

           Tricking? Drugging? Kally tried to wrap her brain around it, but before she could, she felt the cold coils of Python tightening around her chest.

Thanks for reading guys! The next chapter is the one I’m most excited for (as I love ruining characters) so I hope you end up enjoying it too! :D

[1] Author is not oblivious to what you’re probably all thinking XD

[2] And now I need to figure out who would be which Sailor Scout. I’m pretty sure Axel is Sailor Mars…

[3] Shameless and boring political plug! http://anticorruptionact.org/

[4] While this song is more thematic for other characters, the artist inspired this scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ssoRXlOhqI

[5] Jack’s not bitter at all -.-