#also can we talk about how the conversation they had on the Ferris wheel was completely different in the show

[abooklover]

Yes watching Charlie struggle with his eating disorder and ocd this season was heartbreaking, but what really got me was seeing the effect it had on Tori. Watching the show you see how deeply it affects her, and how much she cares for and loves Charlie, but if you haven’t read solitaire you really do not understand the full scope of everything she herself is going through. And every time she was on screen looking absolutely devastated (the acting from Jenny was impeccable) I just couldn’t stop thinking about it.

[shimmeringpinksunflowers]

Daisuke (Mouthwashing) dating HCs

On the Tuplar

so let's say you guys meet on the ship, you hit if off and you guys start being a thing, great!

However, the 'dating' part is a little tricky

There's only one location and that's the Tuplar

Two if you count his bedroom

We all know this guy tries to make the best out of a bad situation, so what does he do?

Probably invite you to the dining area to watch the sunset on the monitor over a cup of chicken ramen cup soup

It's probably as romantic as it gets with the resources on the ship

But it's the thought that counts, and honestly, you've probably had worse dates

You two get all cuddly and talk about whatever, conversations feel easy, you almost forget about the situation y'all are in

Has begged Curly for permission to make you a cake

he also shares his extra sweetner packets with you

Other than that, I think a lot of dates are just you guys chilling in each other's rooms (got a real friends-to-lovers vibe from this)

You watch him play on his game boy and cheer him on or you play paper games like naughts and crosses, hangman or exquisite corpse

If you've brought any books with you, you guys read them together

or if you've downloaded any films or tv shows you watch them together

I think you guys talk about the future a lot, like what life will be like off the ship. it's all hypothetical, so you can have fun with it, but you can tell when Daisuke is being kind of serious about it

he'll just be like 'yeah, that will look great in our house by the beach'

and you'll be like ??? what do you mean 'our' house?

He just knows you're the one, so there's no point in trying to hide the fact he wants a future with you

You also talk about family, not necessarily having one, but family drama

future ambitions, passions, hobbies etc.

This guy lives for the soft physical affections, which I believe is his second love language to words of affirmations

head pats, arm touches, hand holding sweet hugs, small kisses

Will write small notes and leave them in your ship to find with a little doodle

On Earth

if you're on earth, now that's a different story

I'm not sure how this scenario plays out, like if you meet before the pony express or continue to hang out after

either way

I can see this guy loving outside dates more than indoor ones

like, don't get me wrong, the guy is always down for a good movie night or just watching tv while eating take out

But Daisuke strikes me as someone who likes to enjoy the outdoors

First thing that comes to mind is beach dates

picnic beach dates <3

just you guys, the waves, some good food, you in swimwear 👀👀👀👀👀

He’d try to keep his cool, but the poor boy can't keep his mouth shut

and if it's later in that day, he'll try and do a little bonfire and roast something

I also see him being a big fan of arcade dates

tries to win all the tickets for you

defiantly tried to win you something from the claw machine

On a related note, he's totally into carnival dates

LOVES cottan candy

loves the fast rides, but is totally a sucker for the whole 'kiss on the top of the ferris wheel' thing

looks at you the same way Flynn looks at Rapunzel on the boat

Given his doodle habit, he’d probably love a DIY or creative date

painting together and making crafts

Random little surprises, like notes hidden in your bag or flowers picked during a walk

Tried to cook you dinner once

almost burnt down half the kitchen, but it ended up turning out not bad

he swear's he'll get better

[awriterinthenight]

"I Have What?"

requested: @narkissistikos

words: 3267

warnings: swearing, suicide references, reader gets attacked, (I know the title is kinda bad, but if you read the story, then it's kinda funny), Miranda is actually a bitch like I hate people like her

summary: You're a mortal who keeps seeing weird monsters, but everyone thinks you're crazy, so when you're at an amusement park and get attacked by a monster, you meet the one and only Luke Castellan

Everyone said you were crazy, that none of it was real. Your parents didn't believe you, they thought you just had a wild imagination, your friends tried to ignore the weird things you told them about, and everyone judged you when they would you talk of monsters. Monsters weren't real was what everyone told you, but you would swear on the gods that they were, and that you could see them.

Eventually you were brought to a doctor, but they also called you crazy, an attention seeker, or that you just had a wild imagination. Everyone thought you just saw these things because you were always cooped up in your room drawing fantasy creatures from old myths. Your doctor recommended going outside, hanging out with friends, and trying to forget all the weird things you believed you say.

So once your parents told your friends, your friends decided what better to do than bring you to an amusement park. How could you not have fun there with the endless rides, greasy food, and the sound of hundreds of screaming kids? So fun (I'm being sarcastic).

You needed this, which was a major lie your friends and family told you. Just like every rich family, they can't have their little screw up who might be crazy, being shown out in public that way. So now here you are, three doctors, a bunch of medication that didn't work, and about 20 cover ups of your "stunts" (as your parents called them), later in your own personal hell, have fun.

"First we should do the Tilt-A-Whirl, then we can go on the bumper cars, then get food, then head to the Ferris Wheel," Stephanie said. With her everything had to be planned out, which wasn't so bad, but sometimes it sucked since then no one could divert from the schedule.

"I think that guy is looking at me. Do you think he's cute? Cause he's cute," Miranda said, looking at something that looked like it crawled onto Earth. Miranda was one of those girls who only talked about guys, and by the time you had a full conversation with her, you'd wish someone would pick her already.

Now you might be thinking, 'why would you be friends with those two if they made you want to jump off the top of the Ferris Wheel'. Well Little Sally, the only reason we hangout with them is because we have to. Stephanie was your mom's best friend's daughter, so if you two weren't friends then apparently your mom's had failed as friends, which made zero sense, but whatever. And Miranda was apparently a package deal (that no one ordered) with Stephanie.

The only decent one in your group was Christina. She didn't talk much, but the glances the two of you sent each other were louder than Miranda's laugh when a guy was around. Christina had been your friend since the beginning of middle school, and for some reason stuck around till now. She was your only real friend in your life, and the only one who cared. She might've thought you were also a bit crazy, but hey, it at least made you funny.

"Let's just get this over with," you said, walking towards the Tilt-A-Whirl.

Miranda groaned, "Don't be such a bummer, we're here to have fun," you and Miranda probably would've murdered each other by now if it wasn't for Christina reminding you that colleges don't accept you if you have a murder charge.

You rolled your eyes, turning away from her as Christina spoke to you, "If you don't upset her too much, then I'll buy you a slushie as compensation."

"Fine, but only if it's blue," you only drank blue slushies, they were like crack to you. You had made it through the Tilt-A-Whirl without hurling the two girls off the ride, and had made it through bumper cars with running them over either, so a wins a win I guess.

You were getting food now, since you were more likely to murder someone on an empty stomach, which was not a good thing when Miranda was around. Christina was busy getting you guys slushies like she promised you, while Miranda was flirting with the cashier when she was supposed to be getting you burgers. You stood in line for cheese fries when something caught your eye.

'Was that a snake!' you questioned yourself, as you swore you saw a snake slither out of the hat the cashier at the popcorn stand was wearing. You tried to slow down your breathing since it sped up from the shock. 'It's just another reason they think you're crazy. Don't let them think you're crazy’ the words everyone told you ringing through your head again.

The guy behind you seemed to notice that you seemed a bit out of it, "Cool shirt," he said, referring to your AC/DC shirt.

It caught you off guard, and you had to look down at what shirt you were wearing, "What- oh, uh thanks," you managed to stumble out, a bit embarrassed since the guy was kind of cute, but you have bigger problems right now.

"Are you okay?" he asked, seeming to be concerned about you in your shocked state. I'll take things that have never happened before for 500 Alex.

You looked up at him, taking in his brown hair and the scar on his face, "I-I'm fine," you told him, trying to think of an excuse since telling a stranger you saw a snake in someone's hair is something only bat-shit crazy people say, "I just witnessed someone sneeze into the popcorn, not something you usually want to see when you're about to eat," you lied, or at least tried to. How the fuck does someone know if their bad at lying or not? Welp, guess it's up the gods if he thinks I'm weird or not, oh look nothing new.

Surprisingly he let out a small chuckle, "I never trust any of the food here, I'm just getting some for my friends," he said.

You nodded, your mind still a bit distant. The strange guy nudged you a bit, "Hey, you're next," he said, since the person in front of you left.

"Oh, thanks, sorry," you said, quickly before walking up to the cashier. That was the last you said to the mystery guy, since he didn't talk to you again after you ordered. You made your way over to your friends, sitting down next to Christina.

"Oh my god," Miranda started, as you started to want to gouge out your eyeballs, "Who was that guy you were talking to? He was so cute, do you think he has a girlfriend?" she asked, then continued to talk about him, asking a million questions that you wouldn't know since you talked to him for not even a minute, and it was a lie you told, so that you didn't look fucking crazy.

"I don't know Miranda. I talked to him for like 30 seconds and it was about some lady who sneezed into the popcorn, by the way, don't get popcorn," you told her, fed up with her million questions.

Stephanie eyed you and said, "You don't need to be so rude, she was just asking," that's it you were jumping off the Ferris Wheel.

Christina could sense the tension, so she intervened, "Did you guys see Evan and Quinn walking around? I didn't even know they were going out," she gossiped, since it was the best diversion to use on the two. You zoned out, preferring to keep you sanity. Which was ironic since when you looked at the lady at the cotton candy stall, you swore she had wings, fangs, and claw-like hands. Okay, maybe you were fucking crazy.

The other weird thing was then when you looked back she looked like a normal person again. Even weirder was that the brown haired stranger looked at her too, then right at you. Something was definitely going on, but you sure as hell don't want to know.

You and your friends were about to head onto the Ferris Wheel, but something inside you told you not to.

"Stop being such a loser," Miranda complained, since she always had to have a problem with you.

"Stop being such a bitch, then maybe I will," you said, walking away. That wasn't your best comeback, but it'll do for now. You stood by yourself against a fence, contemplating why you didn't get on the Ferris Wheel. Was it A) the thought of being high up with Miranda was too tempting to push her off, and you didn't need a felony charge, B) that food was not sitting right, or C) did it have something to do with that the lady from the popcorn stand who now had wings, fangs, and snakes for hair, was about to attack the brown hair boy from earlier. If you picked C) then ding, ding, ding, we have a winner.

Shit.

You ran forward, pulling the boy back by his shirt before she could attack. His friends turned to look at the boy now on the ground, as you felt the greatest humiliation ever. The lady was gone, now making you look like a crazy person who attacked someone for no reason.

"What the hell is wrong with you," he yelled out in anger, dusting himself off as he stood up.

You stumbled back, confused to what had just happened, "I-I," you could barely make out any words, "I swore I...fuck," you said, running into the nearest bathroom to hide in.

You were crazy, you were bat-shit crazy. You were seeing things. Everyone was right. There's something incredibly wrong with you. Why would you do that?

In the midst of trying to call yourself down, you didn't even notice the woman next to you washing her hands, "You're really pretty, it's a shame what I'm about to do to you," she said, making you scared? confused? You didn't know anymore.

"Wha-what," was all you could stumble out, taking a step back.

She let out a breath, "You keep getting in my way, and I can't have that," she shouted at you, before lunging to attack. You had some self defence lessons, plus the skills from random rich people activities like fencing, plus great fight or flight instincts, so before she could rip your throat out, you dodged to the side. She ran into the sink, breaking it which probably hurt like a bitch.

Are you crazy, or are you crazy? Is what you kept asking yourself. The weird lady (more like a creature thing, since she had her wings and fangs back) lunged at you again, but you ran out of the bathroom this time.

You'd made it a good distance away from the bathroom when you accidentally ran into someone, literally. Your face hit their chest, making you stumble back a bit, and you would've fallen if it weren't for someone else catching you.

To your horror it was the boy and his group of friends from earlier. And to make it worse he was the one who caught you, "I got you," he said, "Now where is she?" he asked, his voice sounding rather urgent.

Your brain was still spinning as you tried to process everything, "Wha-what, you can see them?" you asked, entirely confused as to how they knew the things you kept seeing.

"Yes, but that's a conversation for later. Where did you last see her?" the girl of the group asked, and may you add, she seemed a lot scarier than everyone else.

You took a moment to catch your breath, "The bathrooms by the food stalls. It was the one from the popcorn stand, she tried attacking me," you told her, knowing that sentence sounded a bit crazy.

The boy still holding onto you nodded to the rest of the group, which consisted of 2 others, "Stay here," he said, as he started to head off with the others.

You snapped out of your dazed state and caught the boy's hand, "Wait, first tell what those things are," you demanded, finally wanting to know what the things you were seeing actually were.

"Later, just stay here for now," he said, trying to pull his hand away, but failing. Luckily for you (and unluckily for him) you were a pretty strong person.

"No," you said, standing your ground, "I've spent my entire life terrorised by those things, and now I have a chance for answers, so just tell what they are."

The boy seemed to have to bite back a smile, "You're feisty, you know that," he said, only making you more annoyed.

"And you're an asshole, are we going to spend the entire time naming each other's flaws, or are you going to tell me," you retorted.

He let out a sigh before speaking, "Let me go and I'll tell you, promise," he said, you had no other option so you let go, and trusted he would tell you, "Their gorgons, but I'm guessing you've seen other monsters. Do you know both of your parents?"

That was a weird fucking question, but not the weirdest thing to happen to you, "Why would you ask that, what relevance does that have to any of this?" you questioned.

"I-I just-" he said, trailing off when his friends had returned, but this time being attacked by gorgons, "shit." He then left you standing there, as he pulled out a sword from some random object. What the actual fuck is going on.

You watched the three people fight, as the people around you minded their own business, steering clear of the fight. How were they so calm, could they not see what was going on? You were too caught up in your thoughts to notice the dagger coming straight at your face. The boy turned around, a look of horror, then relief washed over him, as the blade went straight through you, falling onto the ground.

At that moment the boy realized you were mortal, and you realized your life is fucked up. Once again snapping out of your daze, you say the girl on the ground with the gorgon about to attack her. Without thinking (let's be honest, when do you ever think) you grabbed the dagger, throwing it at the gorgon. It hit her straight in the neck, causing her to fall to the ground and disappear.

The two boys quickly killed the other gorgon, helping up the girl as they made their way towards you, "You okay?" the brown hair boy asked.

"Oh, you know just another Tuesday," you said, your voice full of sarcasm.

"It's Saturday," the other boy said, not getting your sarcasm.

The girl hit him on the chest, "She's being sarcastic, dumbass. He's not the brightest person."

You nodded, "So, why can I only see the monsters, what are these monsters? Who are you guys? Why could no one see what was going on? Why did that dagger-" you were cut off by the boy with the scars, whose name you still didn't know, which was annoying.

"Woah, calm down," you shot him a glace, since that definitely wasn't the best thing to say in this situation, "You can see the monsters cause you have clear sight," he explained as if that made any sense.

"I have what?" you asked, still confused.

The boy seemed a bit apprehensive about telling you more, due to...issues we won't get into right at this moment, so the girl spoke up, "It means you can see through the mist," which once again did not help.

"That also doesn't explain shit, what even is the mist?" you asked, wanting someone to explain to you what was fully going on.

The other boy spoke up, "Should we tell her everything, or maybe bring her to Chiron?" he asked.

The boy went to speak, but the scary girl spoke first, "We can't just leave her clueless, we have to tell her."

"It could make her life worse though," the brown haired boy said.

They continued to argue until you spoke up, "Are you going to keep talking about me like I'm not here, or are you going to explain?" you asked, frustrated by what was going on.

"Look just let us talk for a moment," he said, before leaning closer to you, "Then we'll tell you everything, I promise," he said, his voice now rather low.

You knew better than to trust the word of a pretty boy, but dam was it hard not to, "Fine, but you better explain everything." The boy nodded, walking over to his friends as they huddled to talk. They weren't that quiet so you could hear almost everything. Something about a camp, and someone named Chiron, and how it would be a lot for you, and blah blah blah.

Their huddle came to an end when the other boy who didn't talk much shouted, "Would your parents care if you were missing for a little bit?"

Normally that would be a weird question, but nothing seemed to bother you anymore, "I don't even think they would notice if I disappeared for a year," you shouted back.

The boy approached you again, his friends standing a little ways away from you two, "We're going to take you somewhere where everything can be explained to you. You don't have to go, but if you want answers it might be your best bet, since it's a lot," he explained.

"I want answers, but why should I travel to some mysterious place, with three strangers whose names I don't even know," you countered, a bit sceptical.

"Fair point," he said, "Then here, I'm Luke Castellan," he held out his hand for you to shake.

The dumb gesture made you smile, something you hadn't done all day, "Y/N L/N," you introduced, still holding onto his hand.

Luke could feel his heart speed up a bit from how you were still holding his hand, and the fact that he made you smile, "Will you come with us now?" he asked hopefully, "I promise you won't regret it."

"That's usually something someone says before they do something regretful, but fine, I'll go," you said, watching his face light up with excitement.

"Great, my friends will get us set up to go, just know the way there may be a bit unconventional," he said, still holding onto your hand.

"I would expect nothing less," you joked, excited about what the future held for you.

You two waited for Luke's friends to come back, and made small talk trying to get to know each other, "I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier," he said, referring to when you made him fall down.

"In my defence I was trying to save you from a gorgon," you said, trying to not be embarrassed by your actions.

"My hero," he joked, as his friends arrived with the chariot.

"I don't think anything can surprise me anymore," you uttered, no longer surprised by the weird things you saw.

Luke let out a chuckle, "Oh trust me princess, there's a lot crazier things in this world that will surprise you," he said, the name sliding off his tongue by accident.

You tried to not let the effect the name had on you show, but you rather liked it. You didn't know what the future held for you and Luke, but you were rather excited for it. Unlike Clarisse and Ethan who already wanted to jump out of the chariot.

Current Taglist (ask to be added)

@almost-gabrielle @scarlett-8 @atashiboba @that1deerpersondownstairs @herondale-lightworm

[oopsgracie]

my thoughts on loki season two so far…

i’m really struggling with this season of loki because i want to love it but why so many filler episodes? i feel like this did nothing to develop plot or relationships or even loki as a character. true, i do like the whole OB as a science teacher come wannabe bestseller and his role in helping loki control time slipping, and i enjoyed seeing their original timelines but i feel like this could have been done differently, perhaps not in less time, but in a way that made it feel like loki genuinely connects with these people. i don’t remember him having a conversation with b-15 about anything other than the T.V.A, similar situation when it comes to casey although they’ve had more screen time together. if his life’s new glorious purpose is wanting to reunite his friends and restore order, then put some effort into making their bonds with loki and each other more authentic?

can we also talk about why sylvie and loki weren’t reset, i know this might be answered next episode, i just hope it doesn’t become a plot hole.

we’re so often reminded that he’s a god, but it seems to be that everybody else has forgotten he’s the god of mischief, chaos, that this man invaded the whole of new york less than a month ago. with some good character development, or even a plot in which he questions his choices and desires and finds this motivation within himself later, maybe i could believe that he truly wants to restore what he has always sought to remove, but i feel like the loki i saw in this episode is no different to the loki i met at the end of season one, or even s2ep1, when his biggest concern was sylvie’s wellbeing, except that he’s done a one eighty in what he believes and has become this blindly led hero figure.

also loki and sylvie in general, i know it’s unpopular (coming from somebody that really loved their relationship) but also integral to the first season. you can’t erase a relationship that has already driven the plot of six episodes and dare i say most of loki’s character development? except apparently you can, because that seems to be what the writers have chosen to do. push any kind of tension you like, have him hate her for what she did, have him try to do everything without her and fail, but at least give them some screen time? what happened to her being his glorious purpose? what happened to finding a place on the timeline together? what happened? i love mobius and OB, but they don’t replace the dynamic of two loki variants trying to navigate the ideas of a multiverse, order against chaos and what it means to be loved. that’s what made season one so compelling and now it’s been replaced with a vapid quest to fix up a rusty old loom. i don’t know if people who disliked their relationship were listened to and that was the catalyst for such a change, and i get that it’s not for everyone, but if that’s the decision they came to at least break it off in a way that works with the storyline rather than immediately end it with no explanation. no character has mentioned how they’re feeling after everything’s gone down and with such clear moments in which these conversations could have been had, they just didn’t. the pie room— with both sylvie and mobius, the bar scene, the ferris wheel. i feel like i’ve heard sylvie say the same few lines over and over again, that she hates the T.V.A, hates HWR, wants to be free from the time fascists and make her own choices and then she leaves. even after loki speaks of thor, they talk but they don’t say anything that’s hasn’t already been understood. it goes nowhere and feels unsatisfying, like we’re going round in circles which ironically, but i suspect unintentionally, seems quite fitting with the story.

this season has its moments, i just wanted something of substance.

that’s not to say i don’t enjoy watching it, any loki content is content i’ll find joy in and i truly love the concept of this season, exploring time loops and the ouroboros, how terrifying kang is made out to be, sylvie realising she needs the T.V.A, science and time-travel to hunt down a rogue miss minutes and renslayer (who doesn’t love loki in a suit?), but i think that what matters (loki, his development and his relationships) has been executed poorly, sacrificed to advance the MCU rather than the series, which seems a shame when they had already been so well established coming into the second season, or maybe my expectations were just too high. i almost hope they don’t push any intense friendship/love interest moments in the final episode when it’s all been so neglected.

absolutely no hate to those who feel differently i just needed somewhere to point out all my frustrations :)

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #221

Have you ever hit an animal with your car? No, but in the last year, my mom hit a squirrel for the first time in her life while I was in the passenger's seat. I was fucking devastated, and so was Mom. It was either hit the squirrel or the car in the other lane, and the squirrel was panicking going back and forth so it just stayed in the road longer than if it had just run across.

Favorite ride at the amusement park? I don't go to enough of these to really know. I know I enjoyed the Ferris wheel the last time I went to one.

Do you have many followers on your Tumblr? On my main one I have *checks* 142. It's a rather small community (on Tumblr, anyway, they're one of the biggest international bands in the world) that I post about. On this survey blog, it's 21.

Do you tan easily? Absolutely not, I just burn.

Are you expecting something in the mail? No.

Do you inspire others? I cannot imagine others being inspired by me.

Are you healthy? No, I'm not.

Three things you try to avoid as much as possible: Confrontation, gaining more weight, and situations that give me anxiety.

Number of jeans in your closet: I haven't worn jeans since high school.

Do you follow fashion? Nope.

Do you have a big butt? No, I got that Hank Hill ass & I hate it

Do you count how long you and your gf/bf have been together? I do. I like celebrating anniversaries, so. I don't think time together matters much, but. I keep track anyway.

Rihanna or Lady GaGa? Gagaaaaaa

What's your worst interior design nightmare: Um... probably overcrowding. I've never thought of this. Or just REALLY obnoxious colors.

Are you one of those people that often feel sorry for yourself? Meh, not often. I think it's okay to sometimes, like sometimes you just get a really unfair deck to play and I think it's okay to be upset about it, but I think obsessing over it is a very negative move as far as self-care and acceptance of life goes.

Three persons you would like to thank: My mom, Girt, and the psychiatrist who really helped me get my life back after Jason.

Is your closet disorganized? No.

Do you like to cuddle with your S.O. or do you prefer your space? I am a massive cuddler with him unless I'm hot.

What TV shows do you watch on a regular basis? Literally only Naked and Afraid with my mom. It's our dinner thing if an episode is out, lol. I have no real idea how that became "our show" but it did.

Does it make someone a racist if they’re not attracted to a specific race? "That is not how I understand racism. Attraction can indeed be informed by one's prejudices, but on the flip side, there are plenty of bigots who are also very into the idea of fucking the people they're bigoted towards. Who someone wants to fuck is not at all a reliable litmus test for whether they respect those same people and the cultures they belong to." <<< I fully agree with this.

Are you happy with the size of your bedroom? It does the job for me, sure.

Do you add people you don’t actually know on Facebook? No, you have to be at the bare minimum an acquaintance that actually interests me as an individual.

What’s the longest you’ve liked someone without doing anything about it? Idr.

What’s the relationship status of the last person you talked to? My mom is single.

Think of the person from your past that hurt you the most. Is there anything you would like to say to that person? That I'm sorry for how I acted after we broke up.

Does your mom like the last person you kissed? She loves him.

Are you a forgiving person? I'm too forgiving and I know that for fact.

Who did you last have a heart-to-heart conversation with? Girt, I think.

Do you believe that there’s good in everybody? I don't think so. At least, I think people can become to where there's no longer good in them. I don't think people are born that way or something.

Do you use reusable shopping bags to reduce waste? No, admittedly. Granted, we always get our groceries picked up (employees bring our order to the car), so they're already all in plastic bags.

Where were you going the last time you were a passenger in a car? Girt was bringing me home from his house.

Do your parents have a strong relationship together? Hell fucking no.

When was the last time you attended a religious service of any sort? Many years ago when Colleen was going through an extreme devout Christian phase and I happened to be living with her at the time.

Do you think there are more dimensions than what we’re able to perceive? Meh, I don't think so. I don't completely reject the possibility, though. What do I know, if I can't perceive it?

Do any of your neighbors have loud children? I don't hear them, anyway.

What is the hardest part of your life right now, and what is the easiest? I think the hardest part is not having any sort of employment. I think I make it pretty clear I want to be a self-employed photographer, but that's not easy to achieve, at all. Not having a job plays a massive role in my depression, and for just being insanely fucking bored nearly all the time. Which further feeds my depression, and lately has been causing my anxiety to ramp up, too, because I'm so bored and understimulated that anxiety can just bulldoze its way into focus. Then there's the obvious factor to not having a job: I don't have my own money (I don't receive help from the government), which in our society, feels fuckin' bad. I can't help my mom (who I live with) financially, and she's deep in the fucking hole with money right now. We don't even have a working car right now. If our landlord wasn't who it is, I can assure you we wouldn't have a home right now. I kinda wish for my own sake Mom wouldn't even talk to me about this stuff because I can't fucking help. Uh. For the easiest part of my life... I'm sure SOME people would argue being unemployed, I don't have a lot of responsibility, but it's fucking hell and I promise you there's not a damn thing to envy. I'd rather be DOING shit and supporting myself instead of having to rely on my mommy for everything like a newborn. I guess in MY opinion... it'd be having a house at all? Mom and I hate it here, like a lot, but at least we're not sleeping in the cold or fighting for shelter from the rain. I don't even like talking about this, living on the streets is my biggest fear and it's just more terrifying knowing how easily that could be us. We were already homeless once, but at least we had people to house us. I'm in a bad mood after this question lmfao

If you are struggling with chronic illness right now, what are five of your worst symptoms? Anhedonia, negative self-image and thoughts, general sadness, lack of motivation, and existing in a haze sometimes/feeling like a zombie.

What is your favorite social media platform at the moment? Tumblr. I love the people I associate with there and I feel like it's a much more politically left place (yes I'm full aware not everyone is and dark corners exist) than the shit I see on Facebook and stuff. I USE Facebook more, but it's so easy to get pissed off there at the shit you see. I think Tumblr is definitely better at catering towards your interests and stuff. Like no, Facebook, I had no interest in seeing a proud-as-hell father and his son posing with bloody wolves they'd shot to look as if their corpses were smiling at the camera. (I might be banned from that page <333333)

Do you have trouble forgiving people who hurt you? I've always been too forgiving, but I've definitely gotten better at protecting myself and knowing letting people back in is not always a healthy choice.

What is something that is hard for most people but is easy for you? uh idk

What is something that is easy for most people but is hard for you? The most basic of social interactions. Being open about things I like, if it's not online (like I feel like that's a super exciting topic for most people irl???? meanwhile I wanna throw up).

What is your favorite color, and do you own a lot of things in that color? Pink. Uh... not really, I think.

List three things you have survived. A suicide attempt to be literal, asthma attacks, and homelessness.

When was the last time you had someone pray with you? hell if i know

List five of your favorite female singers. Sharon den Adel, Angela Gossow, Amy Lee, Alissa White-Gluz, and Maria Brink.

When was the last time you got ice cream from an ice cream truck? oh I have zero idea

Do you celebrate the 4th of July, and if so, how did you celebrate it this year? lol no, the U.S.A. can burn for all I care. Mom just made burgers and s'mores so I ate those and that's it.

Who was the last of your friends to have a baby? That I know of, Bethany.

Have you ever been pregnant? No, let's keep it that way.

What color was the last pair of flip-flops you wore? Mine are black.

Are you happy at the moment? Why or why not? No. I just haven't been lately.

What is one thing about your life you hope will never change? I hope I always absolutely adore and aim to educate on and protect animals.

How would you describe your journey so far in your 20s? Shit's sucked. Shit's been a rollercoaster. Shit's been frustrating as hell. Shit's been confusing.

What role does music play in your life, and are there any songs or artists that have had a significant impact on you? I fucking love music. Ozzy Osbourne and Rammstein are the only two I consider having had "significant" impacts on me.

What are some activities or hobbies that bring you joy and help you relax? Creating through writing, photography, or drawing, reading, playing video games, hanging out with my boyfriend, sitting on the porch swing at my sister's house with Mom and watching the kids play, watching a variety of YouTube videos, scrolling the Internet...

What are your thoughts on marriage and starting a family? Is it something you envision for yourself? I want to get married, but I don't want kids. I feel ready to move in together by now, but that's a very unfair thing to want, because then I'd be his financial responsibility instead of only Mom's. We've seriously talked about me and working and Girt really doesn't care if I never do (he's pretty fortunate with his job and he's probably going to keep climbing the ladder there), even though it's anxiety-inducing to him because he worries about what happens to me if he dies or something. But ultimately, he's fine if I'm a stay-at-home wife, which he knows I don't WANT to be and he very much encourages me to keep pursuing photography or art in general, but if that's how it happens, well. My point is though, I should really be patient.

Are there any specific skills or areas of knowledge you would like to develop or improve upon? I would like to become certified to handle venomous snakes, solely for the purpose of relocation if I know someone who needs to get rid of one. I'm very protective of all snakes, but I have a soft spot for venomous species since they're so quickly killed by people, even if they just SUSPECT it's venomous. Or if it's just a snake at all... I've taught myself to be able to identify all my local snakes (although I can't differentiate species of Nerodia, I just know a water snake when I see one), so I can guarantee I'd be able to recognize the venomous species that live in my area, and with certification, I could safely transport them away from where they could be harmed. I wanna point out that I would NEVER handle a venomous species with my bare hands; that ain't my jam. I would never go beyond a snake hook.

How do you navigate and make decisions about your career path and professional growth? lol I am not the person to ask this. I barely know what I'm doing. YouTube channels by self-made artists sharing their experiences save me

[purpleandstarlight]

Continuing on with part two... @hateweasel tagging u in case u don't see this on your dash

I'll be tagging these DLTD Thoughts in case anyone wants to search for them or block them?

-(Sent this one as an anon ask to Hate back then so you may remember):

Me, at chapter 149: We're getting ready for a fashion show now.

My friend: ...Good? Now we're at The Devil Wears Prada.

-DLTD: Lawrence was the host

Me, who has an awful memory with names: ...Who the fuck is Lawr- OH WAIT.

(To be fair Lawrence barely appears...he do be kinda useless, as me and my bestie bullied him about)

-Me: Okay so I finished the fashion show and we have two (2) possibilities: Either it starts a serious arc full of action and death...or it's another chapter of them doing some random ass shit, you never know with DLTD.

-I apparently at the time remembered that Pluto was a thing in the anime filler and the thought that DLTD!Ciel had to deal with him in the past broke my heart in sympathy? Now i know he thankfully wasn't a thing in the DLTD canon at least.

-Me discovering there was a DLTD discord server at some point?? wich I genuinely forgot about until now.

-Starting chapter 175, while Johnathan (did i get it right?)'s Dad points a gun at Alois, i realized his name was Victor. Wich is also the name of my best friend's sorta villain in an original trilogy she's writing, a character I costantly shitpost about bc I love to hate him. So you see why it was funny to us. After that, this conversation happened:

Me: Yeah but this guy was a good person, he didn't deserve to share a name with your Victor...

My friend: That's fair- no wait...didn't he point a gun to Alois?

Me: Well, yeah...and he also shot him in the head...and he was a criminal...BUT HE WAS GOOD-

My friend: ...sure

-Me, during the Alois Hellsing training camp arc: There's a kid named Irons and it was SO FAMILIAR to me but I didn't know why? Turns out he's the son of the professor. That's why I remembered his name.

-For 196 chapters, I always read Westley correctly. Then DLTD said " "I solemnly swear!" replied the Westley lad" and my brain misread it as Weasley...that's an ironic line to mess up on...

-My gaydar never alerting me about Daniel until the ferris wheel chapter? For some reason?? Wich I know now that you didn't intend for him to be gay at the start but honestly, with how much he talked about Cielois' endeavors??? There were signs.

- I didn't know that the "Yes, your highness'' thing started up with Luka in the anime, not Claude, bc I never rewatched season 2 since i was a kid so i picked most things up from the DLTD context? And. Yeah I didn't connect it to Luka I connected it to Claude. And I was scared until they revealed it was Luka.

-I suspected that Hellsing would be losing her mind laughing (mentally. But she would still roast him slightly for it) at Ciel's simping when he called like "Hey so...my boyfriend's brother is kinda back from the dead but I gotta do this extremely expensive ritual to help him stay alive so that my bf wont be sad...can I?" but you never showed that call and I was heartbroken over it.

[713-4th-ward-g]

25: My idea of a perfect date

26: My biggest pet peeves

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

30: What I hate the most about work/school

31: What your last text message says

Good luck with bestbuy💙

25: My idea of a perfect date:

Ooooof I haven't been on a date in so long 😭, Soo stipulations money isn't a factor and we will disband all aspects of time 🤣 that will be relative to what I'ma say. Cause I am aware this date idea would probably not be feasible if the places aren't close by or cause of traffic and time.

With that preface out of the way: where to begin hmmm- I'ma lame guy to be honest lol pretty boring, nonchalant, and chill guy. So I'm aware I'm not the type of date a woman would really like.

I love the beach, I love the ocean, and I love a bit of sports. So hear me out 🤣 id need you to bend your aspect of reality for a minute okay, let me cook. 😭.

7-8 am we get ready

9-10 let's say I'm either picking you up or we are heading to our destination.

11 am to 1 pm: we head to the zoo and enjoy the animals. You can tell me about your favorite childhood animal and what's a wild encounter you've had with one. As some conversation ice breakers 🤣 in-between us viewing the animals. If they have the golf carts we'd definitely have to get on one of those 😂 for the fun of it. And also we are getting older help the knees stay healthy for the next part of the date. Uhh if their is penguins we have to see the penguins lol- I love penguins they are my favorite. -

Remember suspend all aspects of reality for this date lol 😆.

2-3: let's say we hit up a local restaurant of your choice, but for the sake of this let's say ummm idk I'm lame LMAO, I do love some good Italian food so let's say that. I say Italian but I'm honestly hungry at the moment thinking of pizza ahahaha. Let's forget that point though 🤣. It's totally cause I can't think of a restaurant.

4-7 let's say there's a beach and there's an open amusement spot near the pier. And they have a ferris wheel, gives us some time to maybe be a bit intimate or at least close to each other while we enjoy the views of the sun soon to be setting. But before it does we see people playing a bit of beach volleyball 😂. At this time our food would be digested. So why not a game with some random people having fun being active.

7:30 pm we decided after a nice break we want to do a bonfire. And they're local shops near by so we buy some wood and everything. And I sneak in some chocolate, and sweet crackers and marshmallows to make some s'mores lol 😂. I am sooo lameee but let me carry on. Maybe a nice wine, I'll do the driving so you can really enjoy the wine lol. So respectfully I'd at most drink two glasses lol.

8-9:30 we have everything set up and we enjoy the night with a bonfire s'mores a nice moon reflecting over the Sea with waves crashing. We can just sit in some silence and enjoy the day we had together or we could have some small talk about how the day went. And if you're w smoker like me then we could smoke a spliff lol and get high if not then we don't have too.

10 pm we can finally head home for the night and call our date over.

How is that ? Lol, it's 3 am so bare with my imagination. If I'm honest Im not good with showing affection when I'm first dating though I have to be able to grow out of my shell first. I didn't grow up with parents that showed me much of any during the more important years of my childhood so go figure. I have worked on it tremendously these few years and have been able to work on it.

This date idea just come to my mind honestly lol. 3 am brain fog lol 😆.

26: My biggest pet peeves:

If I'm being honest it depends lol, cause if I'm trying to have an important conversation and you're stuck on the phone I just straight up do not appreciate it at all. Hence the run on sentence 🤣. I couldn't bother with punctuation or grammar lol. Like I can understand being able to listen while being on the phone as a solid argument. But there are times I want to feel like I'm actually being heard ? I guess that comes from childhood 🤣. It's something about saying something to someone and they're so stuck in their phone it's like their ignoring the fact you're talking. Its one thing if we're in the middle of an important conversation and your phone rings by all means see if it's something you need to handle and I can wait. But if I see you scrolling through social media while I'm trying to talk 🤣 I can't lie that's very annoying to me. Solely in the aspect of an important talk or when I made it clear I really just want to talk to you and have a conversation. If I ask for a conversation and you just get on your phone I'll just feel like you aren't interested and then I'll just go on to do something else. Be it game, watch sports, or get ready to go to sleep for work LMAO.

Is that a reasonable pet peeve ? Not sure to be honest it is also situational and I can understand I won't have someones attention a majority of the time. But it's one thing when you call someone and ask them can we have a conversation about something or a thing that's important just to immediately get on the phone and scroll through social media or apps. Idk it's just a pet peeve. I would say at the moment that's my biggest pet peeve. Like I'm understandable guy so it isn't that it will always annoy me. It's just in those instances where it would be my biggest one. 2nd place would being too petty. I can see playful petty here and there but if it becomes a theme or a constant thing it would get old quickly for me.

27: A description of the girl/boy I like:

Lol; I don't necessarily have a crush IRL. But, I like a lady who is open and honest like I am. Someone I'm able to have hard conversations with be it: relationship wise, financial wise, family wise, or overall a deep question that's lingering. Someone who isn't afraid to hurt my feelings with an opinion or statement. Someone who is patience, kind, and understanding. I don't like someone who only thinks of money, to me it is superficial Ina way even if it is a natural necessity to live these days. Someone who is willing to do the things they don't necessarily want to do but have to do and not leave a needed task be undone. That's in itself is situational I am aware. Cause some task can't be fixed or mended right that moment. I'm just the type to want to figure out what's wrong or what I can do and go from there and fix it or find a way to get it done. But that's for the super important task like repairs Ina home hence situational. But, also could extend to helping me wash or clean up even when we are tired but we just don't want the plates to pile up lol. One can do the laundry like collecting clothes, the other can collect trash for trash day, then one can run the bath while one gets the clothes from the washer to put in the dryer. Things like that. Idk I'ma very considerate person so I would like it if my partner would be as well. I don't want someone who is always going to tell me yes. If I want that I can just play video games lol. I also don't want a women who is fixated on being independent. Everyone needs help and the fixation on having to be independent is a trauma response. They have to be able to tune it down a bit. That comes from a prideful place more times than not and pride isn't something I would want Ina partner. It can be difficult to get through to someone who is prideful. Lmao, I also hate driving so preferably one who loves driving lol I can be your DJ and tell me what you want to hear I'll play it 😜 thanks for driving lol eyes on the road pls. Don't want to die. Ohh and a girl I can just be goofy with and not have to hold back for the sake of not giving them the "ick" 😭. Lmao, is this to much ? I would hope it isnt out of the realm of possibility. Cause I'm the type that wouldn't ask for something if I wouldn't do it myself. So I guess that rubs off on the type women I'm into.

28: A description of the person I dislike the most:

It's gotta be someone hiding hidden agendas; or someone who only looks after themselves. Someone extremely prideful to the point they make themselves a final authority to anything they do. And say screw the facts I'ma still do it regardless and then up an complain if their plans still go to the wind. Someone who cute corners and expect quality. It's so backwards.

29: A reason l've lied to a friend:

Hmm, I have to really think here because I can't remember the last time I had to lie to a friend. Hmmmmmm, this is a tough one for me cause I'm actually very open and blunt with my friends. Unless you count me trolling my friends or saying something that will make them mad like how dog water they are at video games. Oohhh I just remembered something I'll lie to my friends In rainbow six siege by telling them he is low health when I know they're half health so they can push the person LMAO.

30: What I hate the most about work/school:

When a company takes looking professional over a workers health. That, and straight up managers lying or putting you in on a day you called off on weeks or even months in advance. If I'm to answer the question logically then it would be having to slave away my life for a corporation that will only see me as a pawn rather than a person. But I'll just stick to the former rather than the latter lol.

31: What your last text message says:

"Lol, send in most compatible that quality is booty"- spoken in reference to iPhones compression when someone sends a video. My cousin still hasn't changed his settings to send via most compatible to stop the compression from ruining the video.

Thanks so much for the ask it's been years maybe since I've actually gotten one so I'm so thankful for the engagement/interaction. I may be being hyperbolic but I honestly can't remember the last time someone asked me numbers after I asked for some lol. I have gotten one ask prior to this one but other than one I gotta be honest 😂 it's been dry dry like Barren lol. Cause I always would like someone to engage with me when I reblog them. But realistically I wouldn't want people to feel forced to ask me things ? If that makes sense ? Lmao I guess It does if I simplify by saying: I would love for someone to ask me things but also wouldn't want them to feel like their obligated or have too ? I'm honestly rambling lol. Wouldn't guess I'm introverted from this lol.

Hope to maybe have a few more from time to time, maybe ☺️🫣.

Lol, I really wonder who this could be lol knowing me I am shy too 😂 so I don't normally send ask if I can't go anon. I've only really gave flirtatious compliments or genuine compliments off anon a handful of times. And twice or so was with the same person/mutual 😂. If you ever get a kind anon and we are mutuals more than not it is me lol. I love to drop kind anons cause I remember getting a lot of anon hate early on so I just randomly drop nice anons here and there with my mutuals if it lets me.- again cause I'm Soo shy and get a bit embarrassed 😭 lol when their isn't an anon option. I wonder if they'll read this lol. I'm quite certain they'd know I'm talking about them if they did lol. I had gotten an ask from them recently but I answered privately cause I didn't want to feel like I was intruding in their privacy if that makes sense LMAO. Forgive me it is hella late. Why am I awakkeeeee33. But yeah I had only answered privately cause I didn't know if they wanted me to have it publicly. And I myself am a private person in the sense of not wanting to put other people's business out there lol.

Cause we all know I put mine out here in my blog lol but that's okay for me cause I made that choice lol. But I can't make that decision for others so I rather keep it private ? If that make sense. LMAO I am rambling LMAO. Idk if you can tell but I'm so excited to have actually gotten an ask/anon 😆 ahaha.

Thank you so much anon, you have made my night. Or is it early morning ? Lol 💙

[birdsinmywalls]

Robin and Steve are so welcoming! I’m glad she went. Also the girls totally knew that Eddie and her are friends; they are trying to set it up! I love how much Eddie hates being teased about liking her by Robin and Steve.

“So I’ll keep her at a distance and remind myself that I think she’s annoying as all hell most days—” me reading this line:

Good on Eddie for having a therapist! We love mental health! Also I love that Eddie wrote a “fun fact” on the card like she did for him on the coffee cups.

Max is so awesome! ‘Why not mope together’ lol you really nailed the way these characters talk to each other it’s totally believable!

We’ve gotten into sweetheart territory and I’m howling at the moon!! And Scenes like this painting one are why I love slow burns because he just touched her face to get paint off of it and it’s enough to send me into a fit of giggles from the tension lol

“Jeff and Gareth nod their heads, looking to you and then to each other, where they pass one another a quick look.” I love how on board everyone is for this relationship it’s so awesome to see the silent conversations and looks of understanding and support from literally everyone.

Poor guy had a panic attack! She did such a good job supporting him through it. I like that we get to see him vulnerable like this because it’s obvious he has a lot to go through to get to a point where he wants to be with her or feels like he can be and while this was a sad moment I think it was good that it happened.

Eddie whips his head around and shouts, “The Party doesn’t attack other Party members.” Eddie would totally be a stickler for party rules like this lol also Crying over this swing and Ferris wheel scene!! So cute!

Really loving this fic! Also a guy making you a bookshelf is literally a marriage proposal: I don’t make the rules I just follow them lol

Begin Again: Chapter Two

Summary: The year is 1988. After the loss of a beloved family member, you find yourself inheriting an old coffee shop. The quiet bartender at the Hideout across the street just so happens to catch your eye.

(18k+ words; eddie munson x afab!reader; sunshine!reader x grumpy!eddie vibes)

Warnings: Vignette style (sorta); Eddie’s post S4 trauma; panic attacks; nightmares; family member loss; grief; alcohol use; mild smut in later chapters so 18+; additional warnings to be added.

(AO3 Link) || Master List || PREVIOUS CH | NEXT CHAPTER

Keep reading

[perksofbeingamaineiac]

October 11, 2023

I had to take last night to watch shows and relax. I am having to take this morning to do my Sunday routine.

I had a great weekend. Ate great food, and spent time with Braeden and his family. I do wish I got to spend more time with my extended family.

We were at B's grandparents and something smelt like my nonna's cooking, which I haven't had since her eye started bugging her and it made me really miss it.

I keep picturing Braden at the wedding. standing with the green field behind him smiling. I think about how I could walk down an aisle to that image and person. I think about how far we have come in 4 months. I never want to forget it's been 4 months. I want to enjoy every moment and not take them for granted. I keep thinking back to our first date. How he caught me off guard and how I felt comfortable with him so quickly. How horny he made me. Our second date was tacos and a movie. I never went home that night. I confessed more than I should have. We woke up that morning went to get brunch on the motorcycle and then went for a walk and kept talking about what I confessed. Our third date was a plant nursery, Japanese food, and an impromptu backyard cider picnic. After that, everything starts blurring. Our texting conversation and phone calls filled every gap when we didn't see one another and everything just flows. We talk everyday and we still learn about one another. I try and talk to him about things that make me uncomfortable, I always want to learn more about him.

I keep thinking back to the ex in August. We talked about where we were at dinner, which was exciting. Then when it was game time, I felt weird, I wanted to play my own games and the one game I wanted to play we walked away from because the girl running it was rude. I remember being in the ferris wheel and he was rocking it to try and get a reaction out of me. I remember leaving feeling slightly confused. I knew I liked him, but was what I was feeling something that I was only feeling because of the past. I couldn't help but compare it to the last. I was trying so hard not to follow the same trajectory but at the same time was pushing it that way. I don't know how I got over that day, but my feelings kept growing and he surprised me with the stuffy I wanted from the game I wanted to play. Avo. It made me realize that I don't need to rush and I don't need everything now. We will figure it out in the end. That gesture meant so much to me and I wouldn't have got to experience that if I made a big deal about playing a stupid game.

I need to take a step back sometimes and really ask myself why I want the things I want and if I would be okay with missing it. I am having this debate with the pumpkin patch. Were supposed to go Saturday morning. It's now supposed to rain. I did originally have a rain date, but planned B's bday stuff that day, plus I have an eye appointment in the AM. I am trying to be calm and know we will figure it out. It is something we have done every year and I love a good tradition. I also need to think will I be truly upset if we don't go? No, I will be a little disappointed, but what can we do instead? Can we change the tradition so maybe next year we continue it, but add something we do this year? I really hope the weather will clear up, but if we need to problem-solve together, we will.

Before I go get ready for work - which maybe I should touch on too.

I just want to say I really do like his family. They have welcomed me with open arms and I appreciate it so much. I love that he's family-oriented, and I think that was a big piece of the puzzle that was missing in the past. As much as I bitch and complain about my family, I am used to always being around family and I want to build my own family with someone who has similar values to mine.

On Monday, when we were driving back from his grandparents we were talking about family and siblings and what we would do differently if we were in our parent's shoes. We had a really good conversation about it. He said "I feel like were on the same page" and it really made me realize how in line we really are.

There was a lot of talk about ex's this weekend. There were times when maybe I should have let the conversation die, but I just wanted to establish things. We all have a past and that's okay. I just want to learn and understand.

On another note, work feels like a shit show. I really want to find a way to alter my thought process on it so enjoy it right now. All I feel is pressure and like I don't fit in.

[lovestuckyhatemarvel]

7 Here we are.

1.) Do you think Robin was supposed to be there with the marching band?

2.) LIttlest Wheeler says ‘Yeah, dad, it’s fun!’ On the Ferris wheel which I think makes that Holly’s first line in the entire show.

3.) Also I think that’s a completely different Holly actress.

4.) Holly sees the trees moving because of the Mind Flayer goop monster.

5.) I’m shocked that it took a discussion to figure out the Mind Flayer knows where they are since Billy literally told her that it knows where they are.

6.) Dustin is a terrible driver.

7.) I know lots of people like to give Robin and Steve trauma about getting high because of this, but I don’t think this would actually traumatize them. I think this would be the least bad part of the evening, tbh.

8.) Nancy with a shotgun, hell yeah. Jonathan with an ax is a little optimistic. Not because he’s a bad fighter, but because I would not wanna be that close to the blob monster that can take over people by getting into their mouth.

9.) He gets like 2 hits in before Nancy takes over with a shotgun.

10.) Well, and then El takes over. Sort of. There’s a lot.

11.) oh shit, I forgot El gets pulled up and it takes like, all of them to hold her. Well all but Lucas and Nancy, who are wielding the weapons.

12.) Ohhh yeah, it like, punctured her leg.

13.) Neither Robin nor Steve understand Back to the Future while high.

14.) I just realized I think they had Hopper act like an insolent man baby just so they could have Murray call him that and have the moment where Alexi is like WAIT THESE TWO HAVEN’T FUCKED? Happen.

15.) I love that Max is good at first aid because of skateboarding.

16.) This is the first time Nancy or Jonathan have acknowledged that real people are dying if they kill the Mind Flayer. And they only acknowledge it for like, a second.

17.) Okay Lucas is right about El needing backup.

18.) BITCHIN’.

19.) Mike is officially more mature than Hopper this season.

20.) The walkie talkie takes 8 AA batteries? That’s so many.

21.) I forgot Steve staring at the lights while balls to the wall high.

22.) So glad we stopped the action for a conversation about New Coke.

23.) Steve does say he’s not in love with Nancy anymore while under the effects of truth serum. Like yes it’s right before he hits on Robin, but still.

24.) Robin’s face as she hears Steve talk about her.

25.) I am glad they ultimately made Robin a lesbian.

26.) Robin and Steve singing after vomiting up Russian truth drugs si something that can be so personal actually.

27.) Did they…did they CGI blood onto Alexei? That initial blood pool looked weird.

28.) I do kind of adore how the Wheelers are mostly clueless.

29.) Hopper should teach Steve how to fight.

30.) Mayor Kline is the reason Alexei is dead. So for any innovative folks, an easy way to save Alexei is to just have Mayor Kline die when he’s first confronted by that enforcer dude.

31.) I am glad Joyce punched Larry and kicked him in the balls.

32.) I will admit that the shots in the Big Top fun house are pretty great.

33.) The Russians have alerted Murray that the children are in the mall. I mean, they didn’t mean to tell him, but they found out.

34.) El and the rest of the gang to save the day! Hell yeah, baby girl. Hit them with that car!

35.) I forgot how gross the CGI leg thing looked. But also man the CGI just never really got better for this show, huh?

[oedipusted]

How many people know you are in love with your mother? How did they find out? How did you find out they knew? How did you feel when you realized most everyone knew?

I would say hundreds of people know. I began figuring people suspected something. All of a sudden, everyone I encountered in public (at stores, post office, on streets, at work, at friend's houses) would always begin asking questions about my mom, commenting about her, or talking about her to me. If I tried to change subject (I always tried after a couple minutes) they would keep the conversation about my mom. That began fairly widespread, then multiplied quickly. Eventually some would steer the conversation back to Mom by saying "No, let's talk some more about your girlfriend.. I mean mom .. er girlfriend... I mean mother, haha" (a nervous giggle by them, a VERY nervous look and laugh by me. Rumors and gossip seemed to be forming and spreading. (Most guys would have stopped at this point to end all that [Before anyone had any hard proof of it] but OH NOT ME. I was too far gone in love. I would not have stopped for anything (not even millions of $). I doubled down on my romancing and dating Mom. I also vociferously denied the rumors/gossip I was in love with and dating my mother. (I sort of knew in back of my mind nobody was believing me). Many even say I purposely did not deny enough, and became even more bold (that was a rumor I dared everyone to prove the rumors/gossip. The other popular rumor at the time was I was actually hoping or trying to get caught). The other very popular topic of conversation was "Just imagine if my mother ends up getting pregnant. Her and I are seen together constantly, me with no other girlfriend, rumors of us in a relationship." "Oh man yes, can you imagine Ted not only having to explain to everyone that his mother is pregnant, and also having to explain Ted himself is the father! Hahaha".

How they found out? We were caught "in the act" together several times. First 2 times in a car (once my car, once in Mom's) at the well used local makeout parking spot. 3rd time was up at a cabin in mountains. 4th time her and I were caught passionate kissing on ferris wheel at fair. 5th time was at a party. Each time caught, rumors got confirmed to more and more people.

How I felt when I realized most everyone knew: When they were questioning/commenting, I knew they would never believe my (lies) denials. I felt VERY nervous, scared, on edge. Also somewhat excited that it was sort of out (weirdly enough). Maybe the taboo aspect made it somewhat arousing thinking of my secret being blown. Once we got caught, each time the nervousness, scared, on edge, increased dramatically, but so di the excitement/arousal. (Worst was the first time in my car. A sizable group surrounds my car, lights shining in, catching us. There was no excuse or denying my way out of what we were doing).

After being caught the last time, a reduced level of scared (it's known/being told everywhere now), still very nervous (more so), less on edge, still excited aroused, and oddly enough a starting sense of relief over not being able to/possible to hide it anymore, so no way I could even try to). That sense of relief lasts through today.

[mixedfeelingssuck]

Hope For The Best, Expect The Worst

Dear Diary,

I finally went out on the date with The Guy, and it was the best time. He texted me: “They’re playing The Spice Girls at Stanley Park tonight. The trailer looks horrible. Wanna go?” and I did. This is the first time I’m allowing myself to talk about him; no one knows. Good things tend to get ruined easily. Before he picks me up I had a thousand butterflies in my stomach, like when you’re waiting for your turn to get on the Ferris wheel, or when mom dropped me off at the mall the first time I was hanging out with my friends. He looked just like his pictures, even better. I’m so drawn to him. He asked me how I was, “I’m nervous,” I said. What a stupid thing to say. He probably thinks I never go on dates. But I do, this was just different.

Aside from the first few moments, we moved right passed the awkward phase. We didn’t feel like strangers. He didn’t feel like a stranger. Cool, calm, and collected he lead the conversation and I hoped right on track. We got to the park shortly before the weather gets dark and settled on my blanket. I had brought the snacks and he had brought drinks. Then we started talking, and just never stopped. If someone was to ask me about my favourite part of the movie I couldn’t tell them because we ended up watching not even a second of it. We talked and talked; he told me about his sister who just got married in July, how the drinks from an open bar at a wedding “just hit different”, and that he danced all night, how he got his job when he graduated last year, told me about his siblings and past relationships, where he got all his cameras from, how he had gone to that one concert I really wanted to go to but couldn’t, and we realized we have a shared love for canned wine and how we both dislike Pho. I found myself lost in his eyes as he talked and couldn’t help but tell him that they are so pretty. There is just something about the look in his eyes that makes it feel like he’s looking at me somewhere past my eyes, I can’t describe it. We rolled over on our bellies like little kids at one point, with our backs to the screen and feet in the air, and watched as the sun went down. I realized hours had gone by when the credits rolled and people started to pack. We didn’t stop talking. It wasn’t until he got up to go find the washroom that I realized the park was empty, except for one couple that was all over each other in the distance, which, by the way, also received a snarky comment from him once he got back. He has great sarcasm, which works perfectly because he never gets put off by mine. All the emotions mixed with the tiny bit of booze in my system in the dark had made all his surroundings blurry, I could only see him clearly in the center. As we finally started to head back to his car he asked if I wanted to go somewhere and stargaze. It was the longest first date ever, in the most amazing way.

[ramblingdisaster73]

Thoughts watching 4x01 – 4x04 altogether. This does contain spoilers – I am acknowledging all 4 episodes in my thoughts/reflections over the arcs that are in play – not just the information as we get it.

Thoughts while watching 4x01 - these are getting too long to post it all at once.

Kinda weird that they blame TK for wanting the “dream” venue – when in reality – Carlos was the one holding it all up – NOT TK.

The line “You didn’t tell TK the truth” is kinda misleading – since they never act like it was a lie in the show – so weird – Why do this storyline as a secret marriage – but nothing about how it was a lie? -This isn’t exactly a good thing – seeing as how TK gets blamed for every little thing – including in this arc. – still baffles me.

I don’t need an apology on screen – but to completely ignore this being a lie isn’t beneficial to the character – it could have been a great way to have him confront the issues that have brought him to this point – but to ignore it – It makes it look like they only added that part of the storyline as a way to set up TK to take the blame – because that is the overall theme of the show at this point.

Still think that TK handles this whole ‘fiancé is legally married to his best friend – that I’ve never met – or heard about in the last couple of years (and when he did it was at work, because of Michelle) with so much more grace than any real actual human would.

My issue is not at all with the marriage itself – it is with the fact it was a lie (for years) – but the show acts like it was just fine and dandy – no big deal. He is legally married – that is a big deal – especially when they have this ridiculously short time span to get married at the “dream” venue – ALL to further set it up so that they can blame TK for the Iris/Carlos kidnappings – or at least make TK think it was his fault (along with a scary amount of the fandom – still – even after the whole thing is done).

I don’t understand why they love to make Owen look so incredibly naïve all the time – with every new person he meets – it is not an endearing quality – it just makes him looks continually stupid & easily led.

The acting this season is fucking amazing – starting from the beginning – just so great, so much effort & talent being displayed this season.

I do like that TK didn’t completely blow up – but this was almost a non-reaction – which was probably the most ooc thing to me about all 4 episodes

At least the 1st episode had more than one rescue

I feel like we will be seeing the wedding of Brianna & Caleb – and that Caleb will inevitably get stuck in something.

Also – I don’t care if you almost died – I am not kissing you when you are covered in literal shit & other nasty things from the porta potty – sorry, but fuck that.

I still thinks it’s hilarious when Rev. Parks just pushes his daughter out of the ride – Like I know he had to, but it was still hilarious.

Working 4 seasons in rides at Cedar Point was enough to make it so that I never rode a carnival ride again – the lack of safety shit is insane – I don’t even like the carnival type rides at Cedar point – particularly Giant Wheel (Ferris wheel).

I love how Nancy just calls everyone out on their love lives – “He is a repeat customer”

That moment of panic when Carlos hears that Michelle is basically out of communication for three months – lovely

I feel like a lot of the Carlos/Iris conversation is super superficial – also the “currently not in a coma” line is just – weird? Like – why is that the best thing he could say about his fiancé?

I don’t think I will ever understand the logic behind making meeting & approving of TK a condition of signing the papers – or that Carlos went from “You’re joking” to ok, no problem. More areas that were just used to add drama to set up a way to blame TK.

I do know that I keep saying that they just keep setting up ways to blame TK – but they are – Literally it is brought up in 4x03 & 4x04 – with no acknowledgement of WHY TK talked to her in the first place.

I hate it when I am reminded that Owen is a history nerd like me – but, I guess if I have to have something in common with him – I am glad it is that.

Judd – the voice of reason when it comes to Owen – if only he would actually listen to the man.

Owen needs a fucking keeper – unfortunately for Judd & Mateo – they are the only ones qualified for the job

The long church scene really isn’t my thing – glad it was at the end – it would have taken me completely out of the episode. I get that there are people that loved it, if not for Tommy & Grace’s reactions – I would just totally skip to the next ep. - this is totally a personal thing & and I can appreciate that there were people who loved it or were able to relate to it - that just isn't me.

[mischas]

I was re-watching 1.02 recently and the scene where Marissa asks Ryan to stay the night... I can't decide if it's uncharacteristic of Marissa or not to be so forward and make it so clear she wanted to sleep with him. She is so indecisive afterwards and what did she think would happen if they had gone through with that? Honestly, I think they both fall in love pretty quickly and perhaps even by then for Marissa.

I think it was probably very uncharacteristic of her at the time. Back then all she knew was movie dates with Luke, being picked up for parties, going to dances, etc. Ryan coming around changes her pretty much immediately. Him being so different and open with her in the model home kind of tells Marissa that boys can be sensitive and sweet and not just the jock that she's fallen in step with. It's how I see it at least. Offering herself to him is so girlish and spontaneous. Anything to keep this connection that feels so new and real. More real than anything she's ever supposed to have felt with Luke. All she knows of actual connection is probably what she's seen in movies and I guess she thought a romantic gesture would keep Ryan in town. Or maybe she's so used to Luke begging her for sex that she assumes offering it to Ryan will appease him and keep him around. I'd say that one isn't much of a leap. Girls at that age especially in the 2000s were often told that "guys only want one thing" so that probably also entered her mind. I definitely do not think Marissa considered anything beyond her offer of sleeping over. All that mattered to her in that moment was being with him and keeping that connection.

As the season goes on, we see her being the one confronting uncomfortable/scary things. Marissa's the one who first kisses Ryan (though he's the one who started the conversation by getting on the ferris wheel). She says the first ILY. She tries to have sex in 1x19. From then on I think the writing really wants Marissa to retreat into herself and be more passive. But with Ryan I think she pretty much immediately knew he was someone she connected with and who wasn't ~like the other boys~ so that helped in being more forward. Her indecisiveness in 1x06 is really not helped by Summer talking in her ear.

I've thought about when RM actually fell in love and I go back and forth a lot! Obviously falling in love and loving are two very different things but I think they both fell in love in the model home. "My mom's kind of a trainwreck" "So's mine" "I can keep a secret" "Hard to believe you're not more popular" like they fell hard. As for loving, I think Marissa knew she loved him after Chrismukkah. Something off screen after the car scene we see. Probably the way he holds her so tenderly when he brings her home. And I think Ryan realized he loved her when they were leaving Chino in 1x11, though we know he didn't officially ~know~ until 1x14 when Seth asks him.

[xiaosenthusiast]

08. kind of makes this trip suck

before you could all start walking into the carnival hu tao spoke up.

“so how are we doing this?”

“what do you mean?”

“i mean how are we getting into groups?”

“oh.”

you hadn’t really thought about it, but you could see who wanted to be partners with who. lumine was looking at a certain someone, he was looking back. xiao was also looking at lumine but she was looking at one of his friends. albedo.

“albedo do you wanna be partners?”

“sure.”

the first group was formed, lumine and albedo.

after lumine paired up with albedo, xiao had a disappointed look on his face. you got closer to him and you felt his hair tickle your face.

“hey, don’t be so disappointed. i mean…we can be partners?”

he turned to you and his face became even more disappointed. but he agreed.

“okay then that leaves me and kazuha..why’d i get him?”

she grumbled before walking into the carnival. lumine smiled at albedo and they held hands while walking into the carnival.

xiao, being annoyed, grabbed your hand and followed closely behind them. “what ride first?”

while xiao listened closely into their conversation, you just stared at your hand intertwined with his. you felt your heart beat quicken and felt your face become hot.

soon enough he was pulling you along with him, right. we’re following lumine and albedo.

‘yn snap out of it! you’re only holding hands!’

although you were trying to focus on lumine and albedo, you couldn’t stop staring at xiao.

he just looked so…pretty.

the first ride was bumper cars so you got in a car with xiao and he immediately aimed for lumine and albedo.

to be honest you were getting kind of annoyed with how persistent he was.

i know he has a crush on lumine but can’t he at least acknowledge me? i’m still his friend.

when we got on the ferris wheel, you saw hu tao talking to the ride operator…and giving him some extra money?!

you gave her a look and she just gave you a smug smile.

you weren’t at the top when the ride stopped but you were kind of at the top…do you get what i mean?

but anyways, turns out hu tao slipped him some cash so that you would all have the best fireworks seats.

you were amazed by the fireworks, they were so pretty!

you turned to xiao but all he seemed focused on was lumine and albedo, who were in the cart in front of us.

you sighed and grabbed his chin, making him face you.

“yn?! what are yo-“

“xiao. i get it. you like lumi, but you can take a break from stalking her every once in a while yknow?”

“oh please, i don’t-“

“xiao, you’ve been focused on them this whole evening. it kind of makes this trip suck.”

he looked at you with wide eyes and let out a sigh. he gave lumi and albedo one more glance before fully facing you.

“i’m sorry..i didn’t realize that you were trying to have fun..i was just so focused on them i forgot why you came in the first place.”

“it’s okay..just make sure you have some fun too. you don’t have to watch over them 24/7 haha.”

you gave him a soft smile and turned your attention to the fireworks again.

after the ferris wheel you got on more rides with xiao and he seemed to be enjoying himself more. although you guys weren’t holding hands anymore, you were happy he finally had fun instead of stalking lumine.

at the end of the trip, you realized you still had to drive xiao home.

what a pain in the ass

extra !

“soo…lumine likes albedo huh?”

“yeah…sorry i didn’t tell you..”

it was quiet for a while until he started playing txt.

“are you gonna move on? or are you gonna ‘fight for her love’ haha”

“don’t worry i’ll move on w u bby gorl”

he bit his lip and made that stupid face

“wha- hey! don’t joke around with me!”

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

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a/n -ˋˏ✄┈┈ i love adding clichés theyre sm fun to write

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if ur blog is in bold that means i can’t tag u due to ur privacy settings ! if u change ur username lmk !!

[yunoteru4ever]

I'm not someone who usually would push for shortening/consolidating this story that I love, but if *I* had to fit Future Diary into two light novels? Yeah, I DEFINITELY would've made serious edits to make sure it completely, coherently worked in two volumes.

An aside: I wish this author (and, ofc, we as fans) had access to Sakae Esuno's two outlines for the story, because he did mention that he had a full-length outline as well as a much more condensed version that would complete the story faster in the event the manga wasn't successful and needed to end earlier. The latter seems like something that could've been a valuable resource for this writer.

Regardless, there had to be a better way to handle these light novels. I'm already personally imagining what I might drop and how I might fit the story into a tighter timeline now. I realize that the author removed a full 13 friggin' chapters from the story, so maybe it's just hard to figure out how to deal with that much content loss? You have to make some BRUTAL decisions. But I could at least try.

We see some infighting among the diary holders outside of them going after Yuki, but only a bit. If we need to really remove a ton of material here, we could probably have a diary holder get full-on eliminated by someone else off-screen. Yuno and Yuki personally take down almost all of them as it stands. But who could we drop without losing too much important characterization/plot development? I'm thinking Fifth is the easiest to cut — that's over 3 chapters of content we can slice out all by itself. Even though his arc is one of my favorite parts of the anime adaption.

I don't know if this author included the lone chapter from "Mosaic" that was brought into the anime as a means to set up the entire Nishijima/Minene subplot, but I'd not only drop that "Mosaic" chapter, I'd straight-up drop Nishijima's material entirely. (Sorry, my guy.) In fact, one easy way to condense things would be to avoid shifting focus away from Yuki and/or Yuno whatsoever... so we'd only get info on Akise and the others closing in on poor abducted Yuki/Underwear Yuno in the mountains via Yuno's observations, and we'd just get an overview of how they're watching Minene and the others right before they invade 11th's tower, etc. Similarly, this would mean we wouldn't get to know Twelfth at all before he attacks the Omakata compound, but... honestly, that may be a sacrifice we just have to make at this point? Maybe we can just trim those scenes down a bunch. We also wouldn't follow along with Minene and Murmur's finale showdown. We might still have to cut to Deus and Murmur one or two times to keep some plot points clear, but EVEN IF THAT'S THE CASE: Putting together everything I just said, we just dropped the equivalent of slightly over 5 chapters from the story.

As much as the "amusement park date" is great for character/relationship development, I suppose most of it isn't plot-mandatory. Just have them head home after talking to Kurusu, and maybe the most important conversation from the amusement park (the one in the ferris wheel about the supposed "promise" and all that) happens during their walk to Yuno's house. That's the length of one chapter dropped!

Drop the flashback to Yuno stalking Yuki in the bunny suit. That's another chapter gone.

Lots of people have complained over the years that Yuki is quick to try and give his dad forgiveness after he straight-up murder-kills Yuki's mom. But we could always just have Kurou get killed off-screen as punishment for his outstanding debts shortly after he kills Rea. Yuki still gets the motivation of losing both parents, maybe Kurou left a remorseful letter or some shit, and then we just dropped 3/4 of a chapter.

I think it'd be pretty easy to condense the climactic showdown between Yuno and Yuki... sadly. Not that I want to lose all that precious dramatic juice, but we could probably bypass a lot of the fighting at the school and lock Yuki into the illusory/"ideal" world sooner. Not a huge trim-down — just about 1/3 of a chapter of the manga — but we've got to make up a LOT of ground here. Every bit helps.

If we don't get into the story of Marco first befriending Ai when he finds her abandoning at Sakurami Tower when they were kids, we can remove a few pages. The anime saw fit to expand their backstory with a whole gang-rape scenario during high school; idk if that was in the light novels, but I'm absolutely advocating to leave it out. That's a few more pages dropped the manga, and maybe more than that removed from the light novels if they opted to toss in the anime-added stuff.

Crap. I've only removed the equivalent of 11 manga chapters so far. But here's the kicker: If we don't have to do the framing device of the prologue and epilogue to justify the abbreviated story, we get even more pages of writing back. That might get us to at least 12 chapters.

And yes, I AM out of ideas now! And I'm still a chapter short, unfortunately. But at least I'm trying... evidently unlike Itou Nobuki. :P

Future Diary Light Novel (thoughts/ short TL)

It’s common for light novels to receive manga or anime adaptations in order to introduce the series to a wider public. What’s not so common is for the reverse to happen, though with a series as popular as Future Diary was back in the early 2010’s, it’s only natural that a light novel was among the many adaptations it received. Said adaptation was released in 2012 and written by the author Itou Nobuki (who, according to his MAL profile, hasn’t worked on any other piece). The light novel was divided into two books, and each chapter contains unique artwork done by Masahiko Yoshihara. The art is also the only different/new thing the light novel adds to this series. 

The general consensus on the light novel is that it’s a retelling of the manga, which other than giving you a little more insight on the characters’ thoughts, doesn’t add anything new. I decided to give it a read to confirm this myself, and… I have things to say (spoilers for the LN ahead… and Future Diary too, duh).

First and foremost, the notion that the light novel adds nothing new is mostly correct, save for the prologue and epilogue. The prologue introduces the reader to ““Deus,”” who is experiencing some form of memory loss and is now being guided by MurMur through the Akashic Records to remember the events of the Survival Game. The novel then goes over the events we already know from the series all the way up to 9th’s death… where it suddenly ends. Yes, the novel ends with 9th’s death and jumps straight to the epilogue, where ““Deus”” informs the reader that he cannot recall the events after that, because it physically hurts him to remember.

That’s when we get the revelation that this isn’t Deus we’re dealing with, but Yukiteru, who has taken on Deus’ role after winning the Survival Game. Apparently, he’s experiencing problems with his memory similar to Yuno’s due to the trauma of losing her, so to further help Yukiteru remember the ending of the Survival Game, MurMur gives him Yuno’s diary, from which he gathers the final details. From there on, the events carry out similar to Redial, where the last entry in Yukiteru’s diary gets rewritten to “Yuno’s coming to see me.” Yuno then magically appears and it’s happily ever after and blah blah blah…

While I found the prologue and epilogue to be insightful in terms of giving us more details about the ending, I was pretty confused that the novel left out the most crucial aspects of the story. Everything from episode 22 and on from the anime (or the last two volumes of the manga), which includes: Yukiteru killing his friends, Yukiteru finding out that the dead cannot be revived, Happy End, time loop plot twist (which is the pillar the story is built upon btw), the final battle between Yukiteru, Yuno and the 9th… and the list goes on. If someone who hasn’t read the manga or watched the anime read this as a stand-alone piece, they’d be left scratching their heads at the epilogue. 

The novel makes you raise all the questions that would lead to the eventual plot twist, simply to end with said questions unanswered. And if you think this is weird, it’s because it is. The author himself acknowledges this on the author’s notes at the end of the novel. He explains that the light novel was set out to be a two-parter from the very beginning, meaning he couldn’t extend it to fit all aspects from the manga. Which is understandable; however, he deliberately chose to end it with 9th’s death because he "wanted to leave the story at its climax for the epilogue."

Look, I understand this man was working with what he was given, but if he really wanted to blue-ball the audience, he could’ve at least tried to fit the revelation of the time loop before cutting to the epilogue. You know, so the story actually makes some sense? The epilogue casually mentions the second and third world as if it's something that's been brought up before, when this is the first and only time it's mentioned. Anyway, I’m going off on a rant here. I’m very particular about pacing and structure in writing, so seeing something like this really grinds my gears (especially since I wanted to see the events from the final episodes novelized).

With that out of the way, I did translate a little bit of the light novel since there’s no official translation out there, namely the prologue, chapter 1 and the epilogue. I’m not planning on translating the rest of the novel since it’s basically a retelling, but I did find those parts to be interesting enough to translate, given that the prologue and epilogue delve into Yukiteru’s ten thousand years of solitude. 

Now that I have my little rant/ translation projects of the week out of the way, I’ll go back my cave ~