#also can i just say im super proud of that pose in the last panel

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 157 spoilers and thoughts but also a good amount of panel dissection that might be overanalyzed but i couldn't stop thinking about it so just let me yap okay it plagued me all weekend

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i am so serious when i say this entire episode gave me like. so much worry and anxiety over the characters that i made myself upset thinking about it . the only thing saving me is everyone's fun expressions in this and specifically this panel of javier

HES SO SILLY CUTE PLAYING WITH THE SUMMONS THEYRE ADORABLE EEHEHEHEHE

anyway . to the brainrot

i think this panel of lloyd turning his back to javier, immediately after telling javier to go on break for a while, was the first little indicator of "oh no" for me

it really worried me that he said this, especially when they've been working together so much on their journey, so this was tiny little moment of "oh boy whats going on,,," for me,,, idk if anyone else felt the same but i had a feeling i would Not be ready for this ep. and i was right i was absolutely not ready

and then we hit the montage of javier going around the estate and observing how much the land has changed, and i really loved that!! it was really heartwarming seeing everyone, smiling and achieving dreams and stability in a way that the fronteras hadnt seen in a long time (hell i was convinced "oh everythings fine nvm" 😭)

some of my favorite panels in that sequence heehee bayern and his kids this was really really sweet WAAAHH

JAVIERS EXPRESSION HERE WAS SUPER FUNNY TOO absolutely gonna use this as a reaction image

ALSO THIS STATUE OF LLOYD ADHAHAHAHAHDFAHA IM PRETTY SURE IT IS RELATED TO IF NOT THE SAME AS THE STATUE IN CPSM they do have different poses so it mightve had to be rebuilt or something but either way . lloyd statue where he's near naked for some reason in the middle of frontera estate. a wonderful center piece good work team

AND MY BABY BOY SOLITAS he finally managed to create something im so proud of him GOOD JOB BUD!! THE CARVING IS BEAUTIFUL!!!

it just hit me as im typing this that they also say "[project name] complete" not sure if this is a translation thing or if it's something they picked up from lloyd saying "construction complete" but if its the latter thatd be REALLY CUTE

also that panel of tordes by the mines he looks genuinely . satisfied and happy?? the guy punished to work for the fronteras for over 100 years is having a great time LMAO

AND THIS PANEL OF JAVIER

THIS MADE ME SMILE SO WIDE

it's really really pretty, and javier can see that. he can see that the estate has grown and changed into a strong and capable place, and he echoed this in the last chapter but it's really worth celebrating this. so many accomplishments, in so little time, with so much efficiency. frontera estate has been raised from the ground up and seeing it all accumulated was so so beautiful,,,

so seeing this panel absolutely devastated me

the contrast is STRIKING. all of the brightness and light and warmth of the street javier is in is only seen in partial rays streaking in. lloyd is alone, surrounded by books and in a darker corner of the panel. isolated, facial features unreadable and working by himself,,, refusing to see or ignoring all of the accomplishments behind him.

it's like he's falling back into old habits. that workaholism that kept him alive when he was only kim suho in korea. in order to survive, to keep up, to stay afloat, to stay ALIVE, you must keep working. go to the next project, the next problem, the next assignment, and everything will be fine. only then will freedom be yours to have. only then will you be free of this responsibility you bear for those you love.

but he really doesn't need to do that anymore! he has a whole estate of people who will follow him to the ends of the earth, because he's proven himself to be capable of protecting them. he has parents who love him, despite his changes, despite his past, who have grown to believe in him.

he has his beloved knight, who is waiting for him to call for aid. who only needs a glance or a word to lend a hand. who is waiting for him to come outside and just SEE all that he's done. to celebrate, to have peace. to enjoy home. to simply be at home, together.

"when will you be able to come here...?"

javier, protagonist that he is, sees all this light around, and it's peeking into this library that lloyd is in, wondering where the engineer is, but his nose is to a book. because he is working. and that's,,, scary to see. there's a level of distance already taking shape because of old habits, and i don't know if either of them realize it

and like you look at the panel javier is in one more time and you can see, there's kids playing as javier and lloyd! they even have matching hair, and the dog is colored exactly like ppodong. super cute! but it worries me that they're on opposite sides of javier.

said this earlier; this is probably an overanalysis and this probably means nothing. it really is a cute lil cameo of some kids in town! but the fact that they are split like this is eating at me. ppodong-dog is on javier-kid's side, when ppodong is lloyd's summon? and again, they're on opposite sides of javier, will they join back together and keep playing? lloyd-kid is ahead of javier-kid, will he run on ahead without looking back? it's so cute and yet it's making me anxious!!! am i overthinking???

anyway, this split and the two panels contrasting each other like this filled me with so much nervousness that i had to close my eyes and just breathe for a little bit

then we see arcos and marbella talking about lloyd and it's clear they're worried about him, still unsure of where these changes in behavior came from and yet accepting it nonetheless because god dammit theyre good kind people

and when we see lloyd he looks,,,

tired, and disheveled, and still only thinking about working on the next thing. he keeps going on too, like there's nothing currently wrong with this; he's probably used to it, handling everything without a moments rest. the count and countess even mention it at the end of the episode

and when he treats the formal frontera attire lightly and scurries off again, it's like a final nail in this sinking coffin. honestly, i think early lloyd probably would have said similar things to try and skirt the count's attention, but this scene in combination with lloyd being depicted as separated from lloyd, appearing exhausted from continuous work, as well as the following panels of lloyd leaving,,, it fills me with anxiety and dread.

face shrouded in the darkness of the hall, so his features are unrecognizable, just like the library panel. who is that? is it suho or is it lloyd speaking right now? where are you going, into that darkness by yourself, shying away from the light you've brought to this estate? you don't have to do this alone.

and this long, looming distance stretching between him and arcos and marbella. stretching further as lloyd marches onward and alone, working by himself, away from the moments of peace and celebration that his family and his estate bring. into the dark. it's a little haunting to me.

these panels did a really, REALLY good job at solidifying this growing degree of isolation that lloyd is putting himself into, intentionally or not (for lloyd and for the artist lol). he's getting out of reach in his desire to protect everyone, to complete this responsibility he gave himself for the estate.

it's almost,,, backwards? in a way? in the early webtoon, there's a panel where suho is shown trying to reach for a light in the darkness. he believed that if he kept working towards that light, he'll find a way out of this hell he's found himself in, and so everything would be fine. here and now, it could be that he still thinks that this is the case, when it's in fact the opposite. he's brought this light to the estate, but he's putting himself in the dark (and alone, at that) in an effort to reach for the "next light". i don't think he realizes it. this makes me really, really sad. jesus christ well done artist/adaptor

what is it all for if you won't even rest? if you won't turn around and look at all these people who need you around? and not need you as in doing work for them, but need you as in wanting to be with you, and cherishing you, and spending time with you, and simply loving you. yes, time is short and yes, fate is looming, but all this effort to fight those things is still making him lose this connection he has with the estate. he doesn't have to do this alone,,, he doesn't have work endlessly. take a BREAK LLOYD

and by the end of the episode it's to the point that arcos and marbella have realized that that's not lloyd frontera. that's someone else. and gods their faces are DEVASTATING

eyes shadowed, irises blank and lost. they're not frowning deeply, but i can feel the upset layered in. is it disappointment or is it grief? i can't really say for sure, but man,,, man.

anyway yeah i hope u guys understand why this episode gave me anxiety LMFAO

i am so so so sorry for the overthinking/overdissection in this post but my brain started connecting things . whether or not they make sense or if it's just being nitpicky is impossible for me to see so. yeah take this however u will

i actually also briefly saw someone on twitter say that this wasn't in the novel? which is interesting and also a little scary i hope lloyd will turn out alright AHHH

i really hope next episode everyone will be alright ,,, please i cant take this much emotional twisting and turning im gonna lose my mind

see y'all next week or in the next shitpost,,, whichever comes first

[flowersnax]

not so above it all

(including a cameo of @bobsipwiki ‘s helena)

[yumenosakiacademy]

metr0c0n 2k18 friday

diary 4 future me. cosplayed: tsumiki (sd/r2)

uh idk how to describe some panels due to barely remembering or not knowing how 2 word stuff so!! sry

okay so i arrived there early at like. 9:30 but apparently the con didnt open until 10 am? so i sat in the bottom floor lobby n played CR/went on tumblr until i went in and went to the bla/ck butler panel! ciel kept being dared to hug everyone, even ppl he hated like alois or soma n grell kept flirting w sebestian

then the bn/ha panel! they did trvia at first, n i think i got a question right, but didnt raise my hand so rip... anyway after short trivia they did the q+a and pr3s3nt m!c said he goes thru 2 cans a day w his hair n that he has endorsements w hairspray companies n later all m!ght said he was oth proud and disappointed in deku’s obssesion w him n i asked aizawa if any of the students ever vaped in his classroom n he said that the were rowdy

after that i walked around for a while n saw a momo (id0lish) n without thinking, asked 2 take their pic n they said they remember me from last year n they were apparently the momo i took a pic of last year??? haha whoops i was just Excited. i also saw a rei while talking to a tsumiki+nico n i was like “thats a yumenosaki uniform omg r u cosplaying ens/tars/into ES” n they said yes they were supposed 2 b rei but their friend had their wig but we were talking abt ES n i cant rly remember a lot of the convo but they said they only rly disliked eichi n i think they liked rei n ritsu n switch? anyway, also around this time, i was climbing the stairs n a fancy dre/amer jane was like ‘hey uh, are you looking for someone named x?” n i said “no...?” n they realized they got the wrong peron n apolgized n left but later i saw them again n asked 4 a pic n apparently their dress was $200 holy shit.. it was a rly nice outfit tho aa. 

then i went to the hs panel! not much to say tbh? stuff happened, questions were asked n all, yknow. kanaya n rose came in fashinoably late but the kanaya was pretty aa. they got asked abt vines n i remember the kanayas favorite was the “yall ugly” vine. aradias was “so no head?” roses was “we all gonna die someday” 

anyway, i went downstairs n stood arund then noticed someone that looked like 1st yr koga so as i passed them when i started moving, i asked if they were koga n they said yes n i took a pic of them (i didnt realize their friend was rei/fem!rei (i think) altho i slightlky wondered it but i had tunnelvision.. a onetrack mind...) n i was like “how r u doing in the event?” n they apparently dont play the game, but they’re into ES n i said “oh!” n i asked their best boy n they said keito or [someone i cant remember] n i said oh cool and i stan rei, since im thirsty, and chiaki n idk the rest of the convo, but they told me there was an ES person in the artist alley n i immediately ran off to go find the artist. then i found an iruma w an arashi in their itabag n complemented them on it (n also said arashi is valid) n their friend had a tsukasa itabag n we talked abt ES for a minute and i asked them abt the button artist.

then the v0ltr0n panel! again, dont kno what 2 say, but it was p funny! “what’s yalls favorite ship??” “we all swore, the Castle” bhrghrt. then i meant 2 go 2 the su panel after the v0ltr0n panel bc it ended at 5:20 n the SU panel ws ongoing after it but i just Didnt. 

so i walked around the dealers room again n saw someone w a tsumugi itabag n i was like “their hair looks similar to tsumugi r they cosplaying tsumugi?? either way, ill complement them on their bag” but they Were cosplayng tsumugi like i expected n they said they were glad 2 b recognized n that tsumugi doesnt get enough love n i got a pic of them n we talked abt ES n they liked the natsume strap on my bag n they also like the oddballs, bc i mentioned i have all the oddballs on my  bag except shu n i learned the ES button person was the same one that made the buttons? they showed me a lil tori figure keychain they got n it was cute... idk if we talked abt much else but Yeah. i also ran into the rei n they found their wig n i was like “u got ur wig? nice! im proud [idk why i said this? i think i meant it in an ‘i believed in u!’way??]” n asked them n the dia they were w for a pic, and also ran into one of my tumblr friends n they had such a cuuuute outfit n they had a lil v!ktuuri charm AND a super cute clear keychain n i was like “MY EFFING BOY.. WUV” but we talked 4 a minute which was fun!!

then the v0ltr0n “opration whats goin on” panel! the operation was apparently that lance couldnt speak english thruout the panel but i knew a bit of spanish so i could kno some of the words but anyway i remember they all T-posed n i think they got asked a vines question too? yea! i remember at some point the kieth threw their starbucks cup in rp anger or smth (it was p much empty) but some of it got ont he carpet n everyone was like ‘KEITH...”

then i coudnt walk around the dealers room bc it was closed so i walked on the con floor n some person was walking around w a large speaker n they put on “Take On Me” n a bunch of us started a chain of people following each other doing that weird dance run that goes w that song n we went all around the con floor, up the escalators, up the stairs, circled around 3 LL cosplayers, went back down, went all the way to the game room, did it in circles around the middle floor of the game room, then the person changed it to “Nevr Gonna give u up” n said we all just got rickrolled but we continued the chain/conga n just danced along to it and motiond to others while lipsyncing all the way back to the middle floor area w the music then the speaker person put on the macarena n i did it for a minute b4 worrying abt my wig n getting tired so i walked around the area then stood near a corner n started reading a hypm!c smut fic then later sat down near the next panel room i was going to go in n finished it

then the dd/lc panel!! i was on my ipad 4 some of it oops sry but they were talking abt who’s best girl n what was it like for monika to delete the others n they got asked the meme and vine question too n they all T-posed as well n there was a kid in the audience who rly loved natsuki n monika n gave natsuki a hug b4 they had 2 leave b4 the panel ended n it was cute... someone tried 2 play your reality on an ocarina, yuri said f*ck, n sayori yeeted a pencil aiming 4 the center aisle of the room but it hit someone but yea Fun Timez

i left a few minutes early to go to the g0rillaz panel but apparently they had 2 cancel so i called my dad 2 come pick me up n saw my tmblr friend again nwe talked abt kp0p n con stuff then they left n i went to the game room 4 a sec but b4 that i saw kenyan n joked w him n called him a furry but how i met w hhim was that he was at the post near the game room (the badge check) n as i walked past he said “i told ur dad id watch over u it’s okay” or smth like that n i went “...excuse me? i dont know you.” but then i realized who it was n went “oh.kenyan sry hi” n he was like “yea, u do, iplay pathfinders n dnd w ur dad in 2 days....” and i said “in our house ur labeled as a furry” n said he should cosplay his furry characters

anywway after a while (i just sat down n waited) dad picked me up!