#also bobby helped sam get something for john then it went to dean.

[cherryeclipses]

first love 🤍 sam winchester x reader

Sam Winchester x Reader - minimal use of she/her pronouns. Fluff, young love, angst. Very minimal use of Y/N. Unedited This is my first fic in almost 6 years...I'm not a Sam girl so I hope this isn't too OOC

★ ˚⋆

At 5 years old my mum was murdered, by the time I was 6 dad had dedicated his life to hunting the thing that killed my mum. By 13 my dad was hunted and killed by the very same demon. I had to start a new life under the care of dad's very good friend Bobby. Life at Uncle Bobby's was fun, once you got used to the smell of stale whiskey and old books. He took me in as his own as soon as he heard the news of my father's passing, I was now his little girl who he swore to protect with his life. This meant being homeschooled and learning to shoot a shotgun, but none of that mattered when John Winchester brought his sons, Sam and Dean to stay when he went on longer hunts. Sam and Dean were my best friends, nobody understood me more than them. I would spend my mornings with Dean, who taught me everything there is to know about monsters and how to kill them. My evenings were spent having movie marathons or reading side by side with Sam. Over the years I found myself falling in love with Sam. What started as a close friendship slowly turned into an infatuation with the younger Winchester brother.

˚⋆★ ˚⋆

"I can only see the Big Dipper, I'm giving up."

"No no, look here." Sam laughed, grabbing my hand to point at another cluster of stars. "That's Orion the Hunter and over here, those three stars make up Orion's Belt." He exclaimed, dropping my hand. We had been laid on our backs stargazing for the past hour, I turn my head to look at Sam. His face illuminated by the stars, he looks ethereal, I just want to reach over and kiss him. But I can't, I mean I could but he would definitely find it weird. Surely he thinks of me a sister. I'm brought back to reality when I realise Sam's also turned to look at me. "You ready to head inside?" He asked. "I should probably get some sleep, I think dad will be back tomorrow." "Sure." I say softly, I hate when the boys leave. I love my Uncle but it can get lonely with just the two of us. The comfortable silence lingers between us for a few more seconds before we both go to our separate beds for the night. That's all it ever is, lingering stares, accidental touches and the aching in my heart.

˚⋆★ ˚⋆ make ur own timeline, a few years or months later.. ˚⋆★ ˚⋆

It was a rainy afternoon, Bobby is away on a hunt for the weekend when there's a knock on the door. Shotgun filled with rock salt bullets in hand, I cautiously open the door. "Sam?!" "Hey, I'm sorry to come over unannounced, I should've called -" before he can finish his sentence I'm ushering him inside, my arms wrapped around him in a warm embrace. "It's been too long, you never have to announce yourself" I laugh as he hugs me tighter. I take a second to look him up and down, "what's wrong?" I ask, taking a step back. "Nothing's wrong, I just had to come see you. Is Bobby here?" "No, he's helping Rufus this weekend. You never have to see me, so what's up?" "Okay, you're right. Um I've decided to go to College." He says quietly. "That's great Sam! It's what you've always wanted." I go to hug him again but sense something is off, he's too quiet. "Isn't it?" I push. "It is, it is. But it's not just that, I want to move away from this life, I want to start new, have a normal life." I finally realise what this is, it's goodbye. After several minutes I finally find something to say, "I know you want a normal life, but we can still be friends in your new normal life. I'm not even a hunter!" He smiles sadly and just shakes his head. "It's not like that, you know it's not. Maybe we will stay in contact, I just wanted to say goodbye in person." Knowing that Sam hasn't been home in awhile, this couldn't have gone over well with John or Dean, I put my feelings aside and embrace Sam in a hug. His warm, strong arms wrapping around me, it feels safe. A small tear escapes me, he'll go off to College, become the highest paid lawyer in the US and marry some hot blonde, I can see it now. Me, Bobby, Dean, all in his past. As if Sam can hear my worries, he tilts my chin up so I'm looking at him. Not wanting to get my hopes up, I start to break away from the hug but Sam leans down and our lips connect in a soft, passionate kiss. It is everything I'd dreamed of, his lips were soft, he smelt delicious like sandalwood and sea salt. His warm hands move to cup my face and I melt. My hands make their way to his hair, still damp from the rain outside. Just as I'm ready to risk it all, he pulls back. "I've been waiting so long for this." He breathes. I can't reply, I'm too stunned, so I just kiss him back, harder this time.

Somehow, we make it to my bed, clothes flung across the room. It's embarrassing to admit that this is the night I've dreamed of for so long. The sunlight peaking through the window wakes me up in the morning, I roll over and realise I didn't dream it last night. My childhood crush is in my bed, naked. The sunlight bouncing off his toned body, disheveled hair strewn across his face. I cuddle into his side, ignoring the fact that this is meant to be his goodbye.

˚⋆★ ˚⋆ a few years later

"Eric, stop giving out free drinks, those girls will never call you and you're making my business go broke!" I smack the dark haired boy over the head. "Yeah yeah, I heard you the first time." He mumbles sheepishly. It's been a year since I inherited the bar from an old hunter and made it my own. It's my pride and joy, running a business and making an honest living. "2 beers please gorgeous." My heart pounds in my ears, I'd know that deep voice anywhere. "Dean Winchester." I breathe, turning around to see the 2 Winchester brothers sat at my bar. "The one and only." Dean winks as I hand the boys their drinks. "Hi" Sam says shyly. I pretend not to hear him. "So, what awful thing brings you back to Sioux Falls?" "The usual." Deans says dryly, taking a sip of his beer. "Still looking for that damn gun." I'd heard all about his search for the Colt and yellow eyes. "Y/N please can we talk?" Sam pleads. "Of course we can talk Sam." I say snarkily. "I didn't know you had taken up hunting again?" He sighs, "it's a long story, have you got a break soon?" He gives me those damn puppy dog eyes, I want to give in and tell him it's okay and I still love him. But I can't, he gave me false hope. Adoring me, right before leaving for College and never speaking to me again. No he's going to have to work a lot harder if he wants me to be friendly with him again. I narrow my eyes at the youngest Winchester, "No I don't, now if you boys will excuse me, I've got a business to run." With that I turn and make my way to the back of the bar but not before telling one of my girls that those cute brothers at the bar can have anything they want, on the house.

"What's her problem?" I hear Dean chuckle to Sam.

★ ˚⋆

Should I make this a series or maybe write this from Sam's POV??? I hope it was okay!!!! Sorry to rush the ending.

[batcavescolony]

S3 E8 Supernatural

This is a Christmas Episode! I'd be great if it wasn't April but here we go!

The flash backs to the Christmas they had as kids? When Sam first figured out what John actually does? Then Sam gave Dean the present he got for John then Dean wore it for for ever? Guys I'm crying. And then in the future Dean wants one more Christmas and Sam gives it to him! AHHHH

[shelbgrey]

✨Pookie😏✨Mother Pinecone🥳✨Fellow Simp🤩✨ can I request some lovely shrexy headcanons for the one and only Sammy Winchester😳 I just need some fluff and steamy steamy spicy headcanons please🥹 I’ll pay😉🫴💰💳��

Dating Sam Winchester Headcanons:

Paring: Sam Winchester X Singer!Reader

Summary: headcanons about Sam dating Bobby Singer's kid. -SMUT warning!

💚MasterList ML2 💚MoodBoard

Between Sam being John's kid and you being Bobby's, you spent a lot of time together as kids.

You were always closer to Sam, you and him bonded over books and you were both the quiet ones.

It was obvious there was something between you two even when you were kids, but you were both completely clueless.

“the only two people who don't know Sam and y/n like each other are Sam and y/n” - Dean

But then he went off to college, you guys talked through letters and Emails for the first few months. Then he met Jes and you guys talked less and less.

Deep down Sam knew he dated Jess just to get over you, but then he felt awful to think that way after she died.

He never would have expected that you'd show up with Dean, telling him John was missing. Sam honestly hated to see the skilled hunter you have become, he always thought you deserved better.

Deep down he knew he stayed for you. College didn't matter much to him anymore and neither did finding his dad. He rekindled his friendship with you and wanted to protect you.

Hell, he would take you away from the hunting life if he could.

Before you knew it the three of you were a trio again. Saving people and hunting things together.

Then before you knew it you and Sam both fell back in to your original, clueless act you had with each other. It pissed Dean off, because he knew you guys liked each other.

Dean also knew neither one of you had the balls to admit your feelings. So he took matters into his own hands.

“Hey, y/n, you busy Saturday night?” Dean asked one night. “no?”

“Sammy, you sure as hell ain't busy” Dean joked, Sam rolled his eyes and sighed. “yeah... I'm not”

“good, because I am... You two go out and have a good time” Dean told you both.

Yeah Dean asked you out on a date for Sam. Both of you had mixed reactions, you didn't know how to proses what what just happened and Sam was just annoyed Dean was getting up in his business. Dean didn't stop you guys from going out.

he is sweet and gentle when he kisses you. The kisses you and him share are always sweet and full of passion. He pours everything into his kisses when his lips are on yours.

He definitely said 'I love you.' he said it after he had to save you from a vampires nest he told you he couldn't lose you and he loves you.

Sam would be the one to encourage you to go on rants or nerd out about things your passionate about. He'll listen beginning to end. If your like: “sorry if I'm talking too much” Sam will say: “no, no, keep going. I'm listening”

Not being stuck in his Tuesday time loop, but helping the best you can.

Sam's Hugs are warm and tight. Since he's so much taller than you he usually picks you up and holds you to his chest as your legs are wrapped around his waist and your arms around his neck holding him tight.

he promised to himself and you that if you were to get hurt by anything and he did mean anything at all, he would kill it. Even the smallest cut or bruse on you, he would freak out and with a gun in his hand, he would go after the very thing that dared to put a wound on you.

Sex with him has always been on the Adventurous side, but he learns your limits quickly and wouldn't do anything to hurt you. But when soulless Sam shows up there's no slowing down.

Even though Soulless Sam is hot one of the things he cares about most is sex and it might seem that's all he wants at the time, but the moment you get hurt the person or thing that hurt you is in a heaping pile of blood and broken bones.

Research dates all the time, you think it's boring as hell but your happy just to he able to spend time with him.

He's a health nut so he's always getting on to you and dean about your eating habits. “you know those things could kill you, right?” Sam asks as he watches you drink a monster energy drink, you'll just shrug him off.

You appreciate his concerns and you do back off on some stuff and let him cook you a healthy meal.

“what is that?” you asked staring at the blender in Discussed. “it's a smoothy, its good for you” he said pouring you a cup. “it's green goop”

✨Forehead kisses✨ he's a giant after all, so it's easier and convenient to just give you a little kiss on the forehead. He also loves it when your setting in his lap and giving him the same treatment.

Matching bracelets. Jack went through a friendship bracelet making phase and you made a couple with him. You and Sam both have one, he refuses to take it off. “you don't have to wear it”

“no, I'm gonna wear it forever. Back off”

You and Sam are literally Jack's parents, you probably end up adopting him at some point.

Never giving up on getting him out of hell, you hated the fact Dean when to live with Lisa. So while he got a girlfriend you were threatening crossroad demons for awnsers.

Making dirty jokes with Dean all the time to annoy Sam.

If Dean pranks Sam, you'll help get back at Dean. One time you convinced Sam to have sex in the impala just to piss Dean off.

Lucifer has the undying love for you and hits on you all the time, it pisses Sam off to no end.

Getting to see Sully first hand because he knew how much Sam ment to you and Sully just really wanted to meet the person that made Sam so happy.

Jody being a mother to you.

He absolutely loves feeling your fingers run through his hair. He'll kill to have his head on your cheat while you play with his hair after a rough hunt.

If your a smut book you get really secretive about and he'll notice quickly. “What you reading?” you blush and hold the book away from him. “nothing”

If he gets a hold of the book and reads a steamy part if the book, he'll probably want to try what he read too.

This man need physical contact a lot. He's a big cuddler and just needs you in his arms, it's a comfort and a protection thing.

He wants to hold your hand all the time too, if your walking around the bunker or a town your hands will be locked together, or sometimes hell just hold your had while doing research.

Communication won't be a problem in your relationship. You both just find it so easy to talk to each other.

But if you get into a fight, your fight loud and mean. There will be the silent treatment.

He's a bed hog so get used to sleeping right on top of him or right up against him because there's no room for personal space when you share a bed, especially if it's a motel bed.

He also hogs blankets.

You have bad sex in the bunker library, do with that information as you will.

You steal his flannels all the time, they're just so big and comfy.

He's good at turning you on😏

NSFW headcanons:

Sammy has a size kink, he loves the fact you are shorter than him. It makes it easier for him to manhandle you and throw you around without even trying.

likes to pretty much fuck you stupid. like to the point your shaking, you only can think of his dick and babbling his name. you probably won't be walking the next morning.

he's ✨skilled✨ with his hands, those big massive hands. it doesn't matter what he's doing with them, in between your legs, your face, around your neck, in your hair, I don't matter he knows what he's doing.

Hair pulling, he loves feeling your fingers in his hair or he'll tangel his fingers in yours and tug on it when he's getting head or about ready to cum.

He didn't realize how much he actually liked it untill you started pulling on his hair while he was eating you out. “Damn... Do that again... Please”

Biting, he's loves marking you up. There has been many times you had to cover your neck with makeup, but most of the bite marks are on your thighs.

But he also lives for the moments where it's just sensual and gentle. He secretly loves just holding you and kissing you slowly.

He wants to see if he can he make you scream louder than he did the last time. He loves the noises you make.

He well bend you over the table in the bunker library and take you from behind.

The desk will creak from the force he uses and his large body will presse you hard against the desk.

He loves hearing the moans and gasps coming out of your mouth.

Part of him will want you to be louder, even though he knew you aren't supposed to be sometimes.

He'll mark your thighs with his teeth and biting hard enough to leave a light bruise.

Sam loves being dominate towards you. Choking you and edging you. “come on, Baby. Cum for me again”

He has big chocking kink, he won't be too rough about but he loves wrapping his fingers around your neck and feeling your pulse when he's ramming into you.

He has a tendency to grip the headboard when he's close to cumming.

“that’s it baby, there you go. takining me so well, honey.”

Sam loves the way his hands look on your body. Even better if you’re smaller than him, he just wants to be touching you all the fucking time.

He love getting head. I feel like he’d like having you on your knees. Plus, feeling your lips around him pushes him closer to cumming in your mouth.

If you’re struggling to take him in or taking long to adjust, he’ll whisper reassurances that you’re doing a good job while rubbing his hands on your back and thighs.

Sam first thought after sex he's always checking on you, making sure it felt good and your not sore. He is very gentle, cleaning you up and giving you anything you need before even thinking of himself.

[zepskies]

Smoke Eater - Part 17

Pairing: Firefighter!Dean Winchester x F. Reader 

Summary: Dean Winchester is the cocky, but well-respected Lieutenant at Firehouse 25. He leads by example, but he’s also known to break a few hearts. He’s starting to crave something he’s never had, though. Something stable. Something real. 

That’s when he meets you, on a truly terrible day, trapped in a rickety old elevator.

AN: Ready for some feels? ❤️‍🩹

🔥 Series Masterlist

Word Count: 5,500 Tags/Warnings: Angst, injuries, hurt/comfort and feels, tinge of spice.~

Part 17: “The Real Deal”

The first time Dean was awake for longer than a few minutes, he asked about you.

Sam wasn’t surprised. He was frankly relieved that he had an answer for his brother.

“She has carbon monoxide poisoning,” he said. Dean’s brows furrowed, but before he could start worrying too badly, Sam cut in again. “She’s okay. They’ve got her on 100% oxygen. Eileen and Andréa are with her right now.”

Dean nodded on a breath of relief, despite coughing himself. He still wore an oxygen mask, but he knew his exposure hadn’t been as bad as yours.

“CO poisoning’s no joke. Don’t let her take off that damn mask for anything until they clear her,” he said.

Sam raised a placating hand. “Don’t worry. She knows she’s got to stay put this time.”

Dean shook his head. You were so damn stubborn. He still couldn’t believe you’d dragged yourself out of bed within minutes of waking up, just to see him.

…Well, he could believe it, but he didn’t have to like it.

“Okay, do you need anything before Eileen and I run home to get you guys some stuff?” Sam asked.

He’d already drawn up a list for both you and Dean of things you two would need for the next couple of days in the hospital. Dean’s stay would likely be longer than yours.

“Nah, I’m good, man,” Dean replied.

He was still trying to find a comfortable position in bed. His back couldn’t fully touch the mattress, so he had to lie on one side or the other. Truth be told, it sucked. His head swam with the effects of the painkillers and antibiotics they were pumping him with, along with his head injury.

While his body wanted to keep sleeping, Dean wanted to see you. He wanted to make sure you were all right. He wanted to know what happened before the fire, and how you’d found out about Nick being Azazel’s son.

And he wanted to get you both home.

He wasn’t sure if he was going to get to do any of those things, any time soon.  

Sam saw his discomfort and frowned in sympathy. He went over to help Dean shift onto his other side. Dean shot him a look of annoyance, but Sam was firm.

“Let me help, or I’m calling Nurse Jeff,” he warned.

Dean's lips pursed. Jeff was nice and all, but Dean could concede this time. At least when it was his brother helping him, he didn’t feel like a complete invalid.  

“Andréa’s gonna stay with her?” Dean asked, while Sam helped him ease over and nodded at his question.

“Yeah. Ellen and Jo are on the way too. They’ll keep you company.”

Dean wanted to quip that he didn’t need a babysitter, but he held it in. It would be nice to see Ellen. He remembered seeing his father, briefly, before he fell back asleep. Sam told him John had gone back to the precinct to work out their protective detail, once you and Dean were eventually discharged from the hospital.

Over the last few hours, the rest of his team from Firehouse 25 had come in to see him in small groups, including Benny, Gordon, and Jack, Meg and Chuck, and Bobby himself, with his gruff worrying. Dean knew the Chief felt responsible anytime his firefighters got hurt, but Dean also knew the only one to blame was himself.

Still, he didn’t regret breaking ranks to go and find you. He’d never regret that choice.

Sam’s hand on his shoulder grounded Dean back into reality.

“Okay, I’ll be back,” said Sam.

Dean nodded, with a hint of a smile. “All right, Sasquatch. Get goin’ then.”   

Sam’s face betrayed his dry amusement…and a hint of fondness. He squeezed the shoulder he held, and hesitated, almost like he was steadying himself before he left his brother alone.

“Hey,” Dean said. He gave his little brother a true smile, if one edged with tiredness. “I’m okay. I don’t break easy.”

After a moment, Sam nodded. His lips flickered at a smile.

“Yeah, I know,” he replied, clearing his throat. Before they both might’ve succumbed to a dreaded “chick flick moment,” as Dean called them, there was a knock at the door. Ellen’s head soon peeked through into the hospital room. She smiled as soon as her gaze landed on Sam and Dean.

“There’s my boys,” she said. Sam welcomed her in, along with Jo, before he slipped out. The Harvelles brought food, of course, for you and Dean. And Ellen had bought some flowers.

Dean took off his oxygen mask and teased her a little. “Ooh, for me? You shouldn’t have.”

Ellen shook her head at his familiar antics. Jo came up on his other side of his bed and gave him a softer smile than usual. He tried to return it.

“These are for your girl,” said Ellen. “How’s she doin’? Have you been able to see her?”

Dean’s good humor dimmed. “She’s got carbon monoxide poisoning from the fire, but Sam tells me she’s resting. I haven’t been able to get over there yet.”

Ellen frowned, but she nodded and rubbed his arm. “Okay, well you just stay here and rest. I’ll go over and bring these to her, make sure she’s doing all right. Then I’ll come back and give you a full report. How’s that?”

Dean met her gaze with relief and gratefulness in his. “Thanks, Ellen.”

She nodded, giving him a motherly pat on the cheek. Maybe her brown eyes welled up with tears she would refuse to shed. And maybe Dean pretended he didn’t see them, knowing how she’d hate for him to call her out.  

“You two are gonna be just fine,” she said. Dean agreed with a nod and a smile. She left soon after with the flowers, discreetly wiping at her face.

When the door shut behind her, Jo took a seat beside his bed. She was looking around at the wires, the monitors, the minor burns and scrapes on his face, while trying not to look at the gauze spanning his upper back.

“How’re you really feeling?” she asked eventually, when she was able to meet his gaze.

Dean chuckled a little. “Like shit.”

She laughed too, though it soon ended in tears. She bit her lip against it, with her eyes squeezing shut.

Dean faltered. “Hey, none a’ that.”

It was an effort, but he reached for her shoulder. She clasped his hand there, then she held it between both of hers. Dean squeezed her hands.

“I’m okay. Scouts honor,” he said. He wished he didn’t have to keep telling people that, but here they were.

When she drew his hand against her cheek though, Dean internally sighed. He had to pull away.

Jo felt the loss of his hand, and of him. She looked up at him with sad blue eyes. Dean couldn’t answer her. Or at least, he couldn’t give her the one she wanted.

She ducked her head and tried not to cry harder.

“Jo,” Dean sighed. “Listen to me.”

She wiped at her face and managed to look up at him again. He was direct, but still gentle as he could be.

“You know I love you like family,” he said, “but you also know…I can’t be that guy for you.”

Her brows furrowed as she shook her head. “We had something, Dean.”

“We did,” he acknowledged. He could admit that much, even as he blew out a breath. “I fucked it up.”

At that, Jo’s face shifted towards resignation. “I did my fair share.”

“You were worried about me on the job, that’s all.”

“But you also didn’t fight for me. The second it got hard, you left and called it quits.”

“I know,” Dean admitted. He thought hard, and he nodded. He was a different man when he and Jo began. He hadn’t totally figured out what it was he wanted. He’d just known, instinctively, that it was different with her. He’d wanted to try to be more for her.

But, he’d let Ellen’s warnings and his own fears take over. He knew he’d been a coward, and at the time, he’d convinced himself that Jo was better off without that in her life. He knew now how that had just been a nice justification for breaking her heart.

“I know,” he repeated. “I guess I wasn’t ready for the real deal…but you’re the first one who made me want to try.”

Jo heaved a tremulous sigh, laced with tears that she brushed away from her face. She had already known it, deep down, but now she supposed she had closure. She knew now that he loved you, for real.

“And she’s the one who made it stick,” Jo supplied.

“Yeah,” Dean said. The truth was in his eyes. She’s the one.

After a moment, in which Jo locked away the rest of her heartbreak and denied herself a flash of jealousy, she wiped her face dry and looked up at Dean.  

“Then you rest up,” she said, with a small smile and red-rimmed eyes. “And whatever happens next, you better fight for her.”

Dean smiled back. He gestured at his prone form with a hand.

“And what do you think I’m doing here?”

“Looks to me like you’re sitting on your ass,” she quipped.

Dean laughed so hard he started coughing. Jo shook her head and helped him put his oxygen mask back on.

“God, you’re a mess,” she said.

Dean gave her a mock incredulous look. “Hey, no sympathy for the injured here?”

“If it was sympathy you wanted, you should’ve kept the mask on.”

Hours later, Sam and Eileen came back freshly showered and with plenty of clothes and necessities for you and Dean. And when his hospital room door opened, Dean fought through the haze of the drugs and his swimming head to wake up. He smiled at Eileen, who stepped through the door first. But then his eyes widened.

Sam carefully guided you in a wheelchair, with your oxygen tank rolling in next to you. You held the mask to your face, but Dean still spotted the edge of your smile.

Your eyes shone bright with unshed tears the closer you came. He had to clear his throat himself before he reached for your hand at the same time you held out for his.

“Hey,” you said.

“Hey, yourself,” Dean replied. He brought your hand to his lips and held it there. “How you doin’, sweetheart?”

“I’m okay, thanks to you,” you said, smiling, even though your voice shook. Tears slipped down your cheeks. Your lips trembled, and your face ducked down. “I’m so…so sorry.”

Dean frowned and squeezed your hand. “Don’t you do that. This isn’t on you.”

You shook your head, like you didn’t believe him. Or you didn’t want to believe.

He wasn’t having that.

“Hey, look at me,” he demanded. He tugged on your hand, until finally you did as he said. Your eyes were red and spilling over with tears. It made his heart clench, and out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Sam holding Eileen close. Both of them were getting emotional, though Sam was trying not to. 

Jo stood with her mother in the corner. While Ellen dabbed at her eyes, Jo had to avert her gaze. That part, Dean didn't notice, because his lips pressed together as he returned his attention back to you.

“You don’t gotta worry about me,” he said. “I’ll shake this in a few weeks. Tops.”

You nodded, but your denial was still obvious as your shoulders trembled. He could see there was no reasoning with you on this one, so he just tugged you closer—as close as you could get without leaving your wheelchair or taking off your oxygen mask.

He managed to reach for your face, soothing his thumb across your tear-stained cheek. You covered his hand and kept him there, for as long as he was able.

You were discharged from the hospital a couple of days later. It was a few more before Dean was able to join you. He wasn’t happy to learn that his head injury would put him out of commission for at least one to three months.

You wished he would be more fair to himself. He’d suffered a subdural hematoma after he was struck by the beam. The doctor officially labelled it a TBI, or a concussion, and he was already dealing with headaches and bouts of vertigo.

Not to mention the large second-degree burn that was only just starting to heal across his upper back. The doctor also warned that he might suffer some mood swings, due to the head injury.

Meanwhile, you were starting to recover from your cuts and yellowing bruises. Though the carbon monoxide had been driven out of your system, you still had your own headaches, nausea, and a lingering cough.

You both were a bit of a mess. Sam and Eileen had incredible patience, and you were so grateful for their help in those first days back home in Sam and Dean’s apartment. However, you couldn’t shake off your nature to help as much as you could in taking care of Dean while Sam and Eileen were back at work.

You knew your boyfriend wasn’t used to being catered to. He didn’t like being, what he deemed in his mind, “useless.” In your mind, that was just too damn bad. He was going to be cared for whether he liked it or not.

So you helped Dean adjust where he lied in bed for the third time this morning, arranging the pillows just so. All while you ignored his crabby mood.

“How’s that?” you asked, fluffing one more pillow between the small of his back and the headboard. You’d managed to find a way for him to sit up without his upper back touching the bedframe.

“Fine,” he said grumpily. He was channel surfing on the TV above his dresser. “And it was fine half an hour ago.” 

His mood was always dour after a shower; it meant you had to help him stand, and make sure he didn’t kill himself by slipping and falling. You sighed and brushed your fingers through his wet hair, mindful of the shaved and bandaged portion on the back of his head. He sure was an awful patient. 

“You used to like it when I joined you in the shower,” you tried to tease gently. He shot you a glance.

“Yeah, that was before I could barely piss standing up,” he replied. You rubbed his arm.

“Come on, babe. Don’t be like this. You’ll be healed up in a couple of months, and we can put this behind us,” you said. If he really wanted you not to feel guilty about his current state, then he was doing a bang-up job.

Dean turned to you then, and you understood the look on his face. Will it really be over?

You couldn’t fault him for it because you didn’t know the answer either. You both knew that Savage & Co. burning down was likely just another battle with Azazel, not the end of the war. 

And that was when John and Cas arrived for a visit, with the doorbell interrupting the silence. It was the first time they’d come together, and that told you one thing: this was more than a familial check-in.

You welcomed them into the apartment and made some coffee for everyone. Cas helped you get the mugs ready in the kitchen. Meanwhile, it gave John a moment with his son.

John dragged a desk chair over and sat by Dean’s side of the bed.

“How’s your head?” John asked.

Dean nodded, though his face said he wished people would stop asking him that.

“On the mend,” he replied instead.

John nodded in return. The space between them was awkward and quiet, except for the drone of the TV. Both men had their protective walls and their thoughts, but neither one was able to lower their guard.

When you and Cas came into the room with fresh coffee, it was a silent relief all around. You sat beside Dean in bed and handed him a mug of decaf. You might’ve claimed it was the real stuff, but Dean’s nose knew the difference; he didn’t play when it came to his coffee. Yet another reason why he hated being on these antibiotics. 

“So, let’s start from the beginning,” John said. He lowered his mug into his lap and looked straight at you. “What happened before the fire? Start from the very top of the day.”

You took in a deep breath and glanced at both Cas and Dean. Cas seemed encouraging, while Dean looked just as grave and interested as his father. 

You explained everything from the moment Marv came to give you his report, intended for Nick. You were going to just leave it with his assistant, but his office door had been open a crack, and you’d heard the voices within. You’d been curious enough to approach the door and listen in.

You recounted what you’d heard between Nick and the other man.

“We’re working together on this,” said Nick. “Keep an eye on the cop. Wait for an opportunity.”

“Together, huh? Azazel has his orders. You trying to take his place?” the other man replied. His voice was thin and nasal. You saw his profile, however. His eyes were dangerous.

Your eyes widened at the implications of his words though. Azazel?!

“Dad agrees with me. The guy’s not getting the hint, so we’ll need to remind him who really makes the rules,” Nick said.

Your eyes widened. Holy shit…Nick’s father is Azazel.

You clasped a hand over your mouth before the gasp could escape. A sharp breath still echoed through the hall. The men’s heads began to turn, but you did as well—away from the door and booking it down the hall as quietly and quickly as you could.

You remembered going back to your office, just to find Nick Savage waiting for you.

Dean’s grip on the bedsheets tightened when you told that part of the story. You tried to spare the details, but there were some things you couldn’t avoid…

A strong hand grabbed you and hefted you up. You felt a trickle of wetness rolling down the side of your face as you stared up into his. It must’ve been blood, but all you could focus on was the satisfaction in Nick’s eyes. Finally, they seemed to say.

But then he paused. Confusion was written across his face.

“Do you smell smoke?” he asked. You both saw it climbing under the door of your office.

It was a distraction that broke you out of your frozen fear.

On pure instinct, you jabbed at Nick’s ribs with your taser.

“After I…managed to get out of my office, that’s when I saw the smoke,” you said. Your voice became a tad more unsteady as the memories flit through your mind.

“It was chaos. People were getting trampled trying to get down the stairs…and when we saw the fire coming from below too, I barely made it out of the stairwell.”

You raised a slightly trembling hand to your mouth, but a warm hand slipped into yours, taking it from you. You met Dean’s furrowed brows and softened eyes.

“Come ‘ere,” he said quietly. You let him pull you towards him, against his side, and you blinked past the sting of tears.

“The rest you guys know,” you continued. “I couldn’t get out. Dean and his guys came and found me. He got hurt trying to get us out of there.”

Dean’s hand rubbed up and down your arm in comfort. He pressed a kiss to your forehead while you wiped at the few tears that managed to escape.

“Did you see Nick at all after what happened in the office?” John asked.

You shook your head. “No. I hope he burned to a damn crisp.”

“He’s officially missing, but his body hasn’t yet been identified from the remains at the building site,” said Cas.

That sobered you. You knew there were many people who hadn’t made it out of the building in time. You just couldn’t fathom the kind of person who would intentionally set that fire, damn the costs.

“What about the other man he was talking to?” John asked. You shook your head, but you provided a detailed description of him, from what you could remember: tall and lean, graying short hair, a nasal sounding voice.

“Any other details you can remember? Anything at all. Could be something you saw or heard, or even smelled,” John pressed.

Your lips pursed. The stress alone of reliving all of this was giving you a headache, not to mention making your chest feel tight. Your reply was a bit more clipped than you intended.

“What, other than the part where I was fighting for my life?” you said. “I think I gave a pretty good statement of the events, Detective.”

John paused. His mouth firmed, but he watched you with more sympathetic eyes. Dean saw that his father was trying to ease up. He rubbed your back in comfort again.

“All right, it’s okay,” said Dean. “You did good.”

You glanced at him and took a small, steadying breath. You relaxed a bit and met John’s gaze.

“I’m sorry,” you said, with sincerity. “If I remember something else, I’ll let you know.”

John nodded.

“That’s all right. We’ve got enough to arrest Nick Savage on assault charges, once we find him.” He shared a brief look with Cas. “In the meantime, we’ve got a couple of guys stationed outside the apartment building here. They’ll keep an eye on things.”

You and Dean nodded; it was a relief, but also disconcerting to know the police were watching you. A chime on your phone soon distracted you though. You reached over for where it lay on your nightstand and read the reminder notification. You turned to Dean.

“Ready for your pain meds?” you asked him. You saw the answer in the tightness around his tired eyes. You rubbed a soothing hand on his thigh. “You should eat something first though. Want some of the soup Eileen made?”

Dean shrugged, making an unenthusiastic sound. Your head tilted as you considered him. Then, an idea struck you.

“Ooh, I could make you a grilled cheese on the side,” you offered in a tempting tone. Your leading smile was just enough to get Dean to smile back, if more reserved.

“Hmm?” you prompted. “Come on, three different cheeses on some buttery bread…”

His smile became more genuine. “Okay, sounds good.”

You nodded and pat his thigh once more. You looked up at the detectives.

“You guys want lunch?” you asked. John started to shake his head, but Dean cut in.

“Trust me, you want to get in on this,” he said. The promise of your cooking managed to cut through some of the haze of his pain and discomfort.

Cas conceded first, with a nod. Though he got up from where he’d been sitting at the end of the bed.

“I’ll help,” he said, rolling up his sleeves. He soon followed you downstairs into the kitchen.

Again, it left father and son glancing at one another in silence. John was leaning elbows on his knees, hands folded. His lips drew upwards as he looked up at his eldest.

“Want some advice from an old man?” he asked.

“What’s that?” Dean replied.

John nodded, quirking a smile. “Hold onto that girl.”

A couple of weeks later, however, tensions were still running high. Dean was frustrated with his own inability, worsening with each bout of vertigo, and every time the pain in his skull necessitated a pill to cope with it. Part of it was also that he needed so much of your help when Sam was at work.

Every time Dean saw you cooking, cleaning, changing his bandages, reminding him to take his meds, helping him get around when he was feeling off…

He was grateful, more than you knew. He just couldn’t feel right about letting you do it all when he saw how tired you were. You were still healing up too. And he could only imagine how stressed you were after everything you’d been through in the past few weeks. Hell, in the past few months.

He felt guilty, and useless, and angry at how you’d gotten caught up in all this, and at Nick Savage and Azazel and everything in between.

So Dean now stewed in all of this while he sat watching mindless reruns of some dumbass show about fake ghost hunters, even though he was trying not to think of anything at all. Somehow he had nothing to do but think, even though the meds he was taking often made him want to crawl into bed and sleep.

You appeared from down the hall, looking and smelling like your nice floral soap after a shower, wearing nothing more than one of his old shirts. Your thighs were bare. Your hair was twisted up on top of your head, just asking to be taken down with a practiced hand. 

Dean liked the look of you.

Not that I can do anything about it, came a dull reminder.

You came around the couch with a roll of gauze and a medicated cream for his burns.

“Okay, Dean. Let’s go ahead and change the bandages,” you said, nodding at his back.

He was reluctant to move. He was finally somewhat comfortable sitting in the corner of the couch with a shit ton of pillows propped against his lower back. And he hadn’t told you this, but a headache had been building for the last hour. He’d been trying to wean himself off the pain meds.

“It can wait until Sam gets home,” he said. “Why don’t you relax? Take a nap or something.”

You frowned at him, tilting your head. “Sam works late every night. Doesn’t it make more sense to get it over with now?”

“You see it would, if you hadn’t already done it yesterday,” Dean replied, with a dry edge to his tone.

You arched a brow at him. You'd re-bandaged the burn across his back yesterday morning. It was now late afternoon.

“The doctor said once a day,” you said. “You want to get an infection?”

The back of Dean’s head pulsed with pain. He gritted his teeth in trying to ignore it.

“You want to get off my back? Literally?” he snarked.

You frowned at him and set down the medical supplies. Your hands went to your hips as you looked down at him.

“I don’t appreciate the attitude,” you said. “I’m just trying to help you.”

“I get that, but you don’t have to take care of me right now,” he said. “You can just let me watch this shitty-ass show in peace.”

Your brows knitted together. Both of you were stubborn, if in different flavors. You tried to come at it with a gentler approach, drawing near him to set a hand on his shoulder.

“I know it’s unpleasant, but you can’t change your bandages by yourself,” you said. Your thumb swept along his neck. You really hated seeing him in so much discomfort. “Don’t you want to get it over with so you can relax for the rest of the day?”

A sharper pain pulsed behind his eyes for a moment, making Dean take in a deeper breath through his nose. He could later admit, he lost patience with you (and his temper).

He turned off the TV and tossed down the remote.

“What is this compulsive need you have to control everything? Do everything?” he snapped. “Contrary to what you might think, I don’t need you to wipe my ass! Just give it a goddamn rest!”

Irritation was hot under his skin…until he actually looked up at your face. The open-mouthed look of shock, and hurt, your eyes welling up with tears as your hand fell away from his shoulder…

That’s when Dean knew this concussion was fucking with him.

There was no way he could be this much of an asshole, could he?

“Shit. Baby,” he tried, but you shook your head at him, making a negative sound when he reached for you. You walked away from him.

“Hold on!” said Dean. His first attempt to get off the couch was unsuccessful, and it made his head swim.

“Son of a bitch,” he muttered. He grimaced in annoyance, but he used the couch and the coffee table as leverage and pushed through onto his feet.

Once he knew he was steady, he thought he heard you in the kitchen. He found you there, trying to hide your face behind the open door of the pantry while you cried. It broke his heart, really.

“Sweetheart,” he called to you. His hand rested on your back, prompting you to look up at him with red, watery eyes.

“What now?” you asked. “Want to yell at me some more?”

Dean’s sad frown deepened as he tugged you closer, guiding you into his arms.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I really am. I don’t know where the hell that came from.” 

Maybe the knife stabbing through the back of your head, 'cause you're too stubborn to take all your damn meds, came the dry edge of his conscience.

You held onto him as tightly as you dared while you pressed your tear-stained face into his chest.

“That wasn’t you, Dean,” you said. “I get that you’re in pain, and that you're frustrated, but you don’t have to white-knuckle it. Or take it out on me, for that matter.”

“…I know,” he agreed, laying a kiss on your forehead. “If it happens again, I give you full permission to slap me. Concussion be damned.”

You snorted at that, despite a couple more tears slipping down your cheeks. You wiped them away.

“I know I was being a bit pushy,” you said, with a sigh. “But Sam does work late. I’d feel like shit just lying around here waiting for him to help you. And I’m the reason this all happened anyway, so I might as well—”

“Wait. Stop,” Dean said. He pulled away so he could grasp your arms and look down at you. His brows furrowed, and his jaw worked. “What did you just say?”

You looked up at him, and he saw the vulnerability in your eyes. Your lips pressed together, and you averted your gaze.

“No,” he said, curling his fingers under your chin and lifting your face back up to his. He didn’t like what he saw.

“Okay. Sit with me,” he said. He guided you to the dining table, where he pulled out both chairs. After you sat, he raised a waiting finger to you, just so he could grab his prescription from the kitchen counter and down what should've been his morning dose of pain medication with some water. Then he returned to the table and sat across from you.

By the time he got you to look at him again, your eyes were already filled with tears. He took your hands in both of his.

“What happened to me wasn’t your fault,” Dean said at last. He’d said it before, but apparently it hadn’t gotten through your head.

“You disobeyed a direct order to find me,” you argued. 

“I would’ve gotten called to that fire no matter what,” Dean countered. Still, that didn’t seem to sway you.

“You don’t know what it was like,” you said. You squeezed his hands, and your voice shook. “When I saw you in the ICU…”

All those wires, the newly wrapped burns, the oxygen mask, his skin pale and clammy, and his eyes closed…

“Before you got to me, of course I was scared. For a minute there, I thought I was going to die,” you managed to say. His hold tightened on yours. “But in that room, it was…it was different. It was you, but it was also my grandfather all over again. And I was so damn afraid.”

After that confession, you crumbled once again.

Dean slid his chair forward and held you close. His fingers swept through your hair after taking down your haphazard bun. He managed to pull you into his lap and he shushed you gently.

He glanced up heavenward and actually asked George for the right thing to say to you right now, because he had no damn clue.

After a moment, he released a humorless chuckle.

“You wanna know fear?” he said. “When my dad told me what you’d found out about Nick. And when I got the call that the building was on fire, somehow, I knew you were still in there.”

His fingers brushed along the shallow cut above your brow that was still healing.

“You had to deal with that bastard by yourself. That alone pretty much kills me,” Dean admitted. “And if I hadn’t gotten to you when I did…I’ll never regret that. Ever. I’ll take the whole damn building on top of me if that’s what it takes.”

You leaned back and shook your head at him, but he took your chin between his fingers and stilled you.   

“But I told you,” Dean said firmly. “I’m not leaving you.”

Your eyes met his before you let out a shaky breath. Maybe this time you would believe him.

He leaned down and kissed you soundly, so you’d get the idea. Your hand reached up to caress his cheek, and you moaned when his tongue caressed yours. His hand tightened on your hip.

“Dean.” Your warning was gentle. The doctor hadn’t cleared this yet for him, and he knew it.

“Just a little bit,” he said, smiling against your lips. His hand slipped under your (his) shirt and teased the edge of your panties.

You sighed with conflicting need when you felt the pads of his fingers stroke you through the fabric. It also stroked your arousal back to life.

“Okay, bedroom,” you caved. “But go easy. I’m serious, Dean.”

He smirked and pressed a kiss to the side of your head.

“Oh, I’ll definitely be easy.”

AN: Lol trust Dean to push his limits there. 😅 We also got some closure on the Jo & Dean arc, some supportive Sam and Eileen, and some major feels.

In Part 18, Sam and John work together to try and pin down Nick and Daniel/Azazel, Law & Order style...

Next Time:

The charges included four counts of murder in the first degree: the murders-for-hire, enacted by Alastair Rolston.

Followed by attempted murder in the first degree, ten counts of murder in the second degree (those who had lost their lives in the most recent building fire), conspiracy to commit murder, arson, and if that weren’t enough, a charge each of attempted sexual assault and sexual harassment.

When the last two charges were read out loud in the courtroom, Nick looked visibly angry.

Sam glanced over at the defendant with thinly veiled satisfaction. Some days, it was difficult for him to come to work.

Today was not that day.

“All right, that is a laundry list of potential misdeeds,” Judge Deveraux remarked. He looked up at Nick Savage. “How does the defendant plead?”

At the prodding of his lawyer, Amelia Richardson, Nick spoke up.

“Not guilty,” he said. Though he rolled his eyes, as if this was a waste of his time.

“What’s the deal here, Mr. Winchester?” Judge Devereaux asked.

“The primary charges are murder-for-hire, your Honor,” Sam replied.

Keep Reading: PART 18

Dean Winchester Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Series Tag List (Part 1):

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[tofics]

The Other Side to The Coin

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!Reader

Part 2 to Almost Like You Need Someone (Dean's POV)

Summary: You, Dean and Sam are fighting America's monsters together. Coming from a long line of hunters, you fit right in with the Winchester boys, despite having been raised entirely different from the two. Where you were brought up with love and care, John raised Sam and Dean with rules and obedience. Seeing what Dean does for the world, you decide it's time that he gets his own share of love...

A/N: Almost Like You Need Someone was supposed to be a one-shot but was so well received that I decided to continue it! There will be a part 3, which both part 1 and 2 are leading up to. A ✨finale✨, if you will. For now, here's the reader's POV, sprinkled with Sam's POV. I hope you enjoy! PS: Thank you to @deans-spinster-witch for the idea of Sam deliberately losing to Dean so Dean could share the bed with the reader 🥰

Living with the Winchester boys is easy.

Granted, you get along with almost anybody due to your good-natured spirit. You have a smile that radiates warmth and kindness, a two-lipped greeting that promises the receiver that they are truly welcome. In return, you've been welcomed pretty much anywhere you went.

So it's no surprise that you've bonded with Sam and Dean as easily as you have. You knew of them only by name before you went on a case with them. Despite being a long-time friend to your family and theirs, Bobby Singer didn't speak much about the Winchesters. Two boys raised on the road by a single dad, out for revenge on the demon that took his wife and their mother. That's all you knew.

When he sent you to help out with a case, you arrived with no expectations. "I told 'em not to underestimate you. Don't let those two idjits undersell you. They do good work, but they can be a lil' wary of strangers," Bobby had warned you, but they'd given you no trouble. To your delight, the brothers were not only easy to work with, they were also very easy on the eyes. Not a requirement when it came to who you chose to work with, but it didn't hurt either.

Three months later, you've become a regular passenger in the Winchester's Impala. Despite being an able-driver, you tend to leave the driving to the boys, preferring to take up residence in the backseat. Back there, you're free to pass the hours by entertaining the brothers or getting some shut-eye. It beats fighting with Dean over who gets to pick the music or having Sam snore in your ear from behind you.

You're good to them, and they're good to you. No matter how many times you argue that if you can sleep in the backseat of the Impala, you can definitely take the sofa now and then, they refuse to let you sleep anywhere but the beds of the hotel rooms you secure for a night or two. It would be patronizing if you didn't know any better. You have your love-languages, and they have theirs.

One of Sam's is bringing you back books from the library that he thinks you'll enjoy. Dean always cleans your gun along with his own, making sure it's well-kept and in perfect condition for when you need it. In return, you make sure the boys are fed, getting something healthy for Sam and yourself while picking up a pastry for Dean's breakfast instead.

You find that it's a little easier to get on Sam's good side. In comparison, Dean is a little more closed off, a little more reserved, but you can tell it's got nothing to do with yourself and everything with how they were raised. Over time, you learn about their dark past, about Mary's death and John's need for revenge that led all three of them on the hunter's path. It's mostly Sam who shares these stories with you, although you sometimes manage to get Dean talking too. When he does, it's earnest, albeit short-worded. He often turns the conversation around and instead asks you about your past. He seems fascinated with the way you were brought up and you can hardly blame him. You grew up in the hunter's life alright, but your childhoods couldn't have been any more different.

For starters, both of your parents are still alive and well. You never had to endure the loss of a parental figure, not as a child, nor in recent years, thankfully. But it's more than that. From Sam's tales and what little Dean shares with you, you can't help but feel a tinge of resentment towards the Winchester father. As a child of parents who made sure to equip you with all the necessary tools needed to survive in a world full of monsters, it's beyond you how John drilled his boys to be hunters, yet seemingly neglected the mental aspect of it. For as long as you could remember, your parents had sat down with you and talked you through the emotional turmoil that inevitably came with the field; the bloodshed and the death. From what you could gather, talking about it had never been part of the Winchester schedule. Instead, it looked like Dean in particular had taken on a coping mechanism that was rather popular in the hunter's field, the tried-and-true method of D&D: denial and drinking.

Your heart aches when you see how the job sometimes eats at him. Where you allow yourself to feel for the families of the victims you come across, he rarely gives in to the sympathy he feels for those left behind. On one particular case, a boy is left without his mother after a vampire gets to her before you can. You hold the boy as he weeps for his mother, smoothly rocking him back and forth as tears roll down your own cheeks, unable to hold them back. All of that terror and grief in such a little body; it's heart-wrenching. When you look up at Dean, you see your own feelings mirrored back in his eyes and you can't help but also cry for the little boy who lost his own mother in 1983.

You develop something of a soft spot for the older Winchester brother. It's less out of pity and more out of determination to ensure that the young man gets what he deserves. At not even thirty years old, he's encountered thrice the amount of terror that an average man faces in a lifetime. Beyond his own loss, he continually fights what lurks in the dark so that others don't have to face the same fate as he did. Unlike yourself, he was never given the choice to step into the role of a hunter. John assigned it to him and he dutifully slipped it on, accepting the burden without any questions asked. He shows an unwavering devotion to giving protection to those who need it without ever stopping to think about what he needs. Having been raised with a keen sense of justice, the imbalance of this set-up doesn't sit right with you. And so you quietly decide to embark on your own little mission: Give back to Dean Winchester what he gives the world.

It's easier said than done though. You soon learned that Dean is a natural flirt. Where your charm is mostly kindness, his is saturated to the brim with flirtatious banter. You see waitress after waitress fall for it, witness young women at the bar turn their heads when he walks by and swoon when he winks at him. Sometimes, when he's in a really good mood, you're at the receiving end of his allure. An approving glance up and down your body before the three of you venture out to the local pub turns into attentive gazes throughout the night, served with a sly grin. It makes your stomach flutter when you feel his eyes trailing you through the crowd. Heat seeps into your cheeks when he shimmies past you at the pool table, the skin of his arm gently brushing against yours. "S'cuse me, sweetheart," he'll say and the use of the nickname will tug at something so delicious in your tummy that you have to bite down on your lip to contain your smile. On these nights, it seems impossibly easy to get close to Dean if you wanted to, although it's not strictly the kind of close you intend for. To say you're not attracted to Dean would be a lie, but it's not your mission to give him seven minutes in heaven. Your mission's goal is long-term happiness, not a brief one achieved with both of your pants down around your ankles.

The Dean of those nights stands in contrast to the day-to-day version you're usually travelling with. Where he's not afraid to brush up against you in a full pub, he'll tense up when you cuddle up against him in your sleep. It's noticeable enough for you to register in your sleepy-state and you try to stay on your side of the bed afterwards. Naturally being a touchy person, you try to keep your body contact to Sam, leaning against him on the couch as the three of you are watching a movie. Much to your surprise, Dean nudges at your leg that's tucked under you. "C'mon," he says and cocks his head to the side. "Get comfortable." You search for his eyes, a silent question of 'Are you sure?' but he just cocks his head again and gives you a small smile, so you comply and stretch your leg out over his lap. You don't fully relax into the position for a few minutes, unsure if he's truly comfortable with it, until he rests an arm on your knee and shin while his other arm props his head up on the armrest of the couch. From that day on, this arrangement becomes your standard for movie nights: Sam to your left, Dean on your right, a head on Sam's shoulder and one or two legs stretched out over Dean.

It's small wins like this that make you feel like you're slowly working your way through the outer layers of Dean's shell. What you belatedly realize is that in the process of working through his exterior, he worked himself through yours with ease. It only becomes apparent to you when, during another night at another bar, you suddenly feel a little sting at the sight of Dean talking to another woman rather flirtatiously. The sensation is so out-of-the-blue for you that for a moment, you're more surprised than anything else. How did you fall in love with the older Winchester brother without even noticing it? Sam notices the puzzled look on your face. "You good?" he asks, amusement showing in his voice. You quickly shake yourself to rid yourself of your trance and give a little laugh. "All good," you say and take a sip of your drink before glancing over at Dean again. What you don't realize is that your glance doesn't go unnoticed by Sam, who smiles knowingly to himself.

Having known his brother for all his life, he's noticed the shift in his brother way before you did. He'd had his suspicions, but it took a particularly rough case for Dean's intentions to become clear to Sam. The detour Dean made you guys take so you could have your spirits lifted by a litter of puppies was all Sam needed to have his suspicions confirmed: love has sprouted between his two travel companions.

He gets first row tickets to the spiel that unfolds itself in front of him in the following weeks. It's comical, the way you and Dean dance around each other, afraid to give too much away, unaware that you're both on the same page. The two of you steal glances at each other, but it goes unnoticed by either of you. Sam purposely chooses the seat diagonally from either you or Dean, leaving the space opposite and next to whoever sits down first open, so that the both of you are forced to sit across or besides each other. He can see the math both of you are doing in your heads, not wanting to appear too eager to sit beside each other, painfully unaware of the shared wish of closeness that lingers between the two of you.

As much as he's rooting for both of you to become aware of each other's feelings, he doesn't say anything. He figures they're not his words to say, that inevitably, the penny will drop eventually for one of you. Instead, he aids the process in any way that he can. He suggests you and Dean talk to a victim's friend while he'll speak to the professor you guys think could help you on your case. When it comes to the nightly routine of 'rock, paper, scissors' to decide which of the brothers gets the other side of the bed, he purposely loses to Dean now and then. Other times, he offers to go and get dinner while you two remain at the motel, working on the research.

Weeks pass, and you carry your love around with you like a little secret, a hidden necklace that you tuck back into your shirt when it accidentally slips out. You're oblivious to the fact that Dean's wearing the counterpart to your necklace, his tag molded to fit yours seamlessly. Sometimes, you think you get a glimpse of it. A hand on your lower back that lingers a little too long in place when he squeezes past you. A line of concern on his forehead, deeper than warranted by the small wound on you that he's patching up.

Sam sees these things and watches you write them off as platonic affection. He watches and waits, silently waiting for either of you to realize that in your case, both sides of the coin are one and the same.

Feedback is always appreciated! If you have any requests, feel free to send them my way. I'm always happy to practice my writing! :)

Masterlist

[castiwls]

Hey there! 😀 Can I request two sets of headcanons about being Sam and Dean's twin sister?

"i was with you before we were even born"

Being the boy's twin

Dean

He’s older by like 5 minutes (he never lets you forget it)

You were both really close even as babies. I imagine there was a phase where if your parents separated you both for too long you would cry.

You both get closer after the fire. For the first few months, you would always curl up in the same bed together out of fear of the other one disappearing.

As a teen, you started to question your dad more and more about hunting. You're not as complacent as Dean is to John and his rules. This led to many arguments. 

“Why can’t you just do as he says?” “Because Dad’s word isn't god Dean!”

He’d be just as protective over you as he is of Sam.

When Sam left for Stanford you and Dean started to take cases on your own.

You would try and sabotage any hookups he found in bars. You really hated having to go for ‘walks’ during said hookups. He got you back for it. 

You both look very alike. 

When it was just you and Dean hunting there were multiple times where people would mistake you for a couple of cases.

After your dad died you and Dean didn’t talk for a while. You both argued over why John did what he did and it led to one of your worst fights.

Bobby had to kick sense into you both.

You and Dean don’t fight often but when you do it's bad. When you were younger one time it got so bad that it took Sam yelling and walking out for you both to stop.

When Castiel came around you were unsure but after he saved you on a hunt you began to trust him.

Knowing Dean wasn’t ok after Hell and begging him to talk.

“Dean I know you're not ok.” You frowned and reached out to his arm. “You can talk to me, no one's gonna judge you.”

He did eventually tell you he remembered hell. He begged you not to tell Sam though. (You did tell Sam though)

Finding out about the whole vessel thing and freaking out.

“What do you mean vessels? Why is Heaven and Hell’s fight our issue?”

Since you and Dean were twins you both were classed as Micheal vessels.

You were adamant that Dean wasn’t doing it and he was the same about you.

This again led to another argument.

In the end, there was no way you were letting Sam walk into that fight alone so you ended up saying yes also.

Dean was pissed.

Dean begging for months after that Cas or someone would pull you both out of the cage. (Little did he know someone had)

You randomly appeared on Lisa’s doorstep 6 months later and Dean completely freaked.

After that, he barely let you out of his sight.

You didn’t tell him about Sam also being out (You knew something was wrong with your younger brother and you didn’t wanna worry Dean.)

Eventually reuniting with Sam and feeling so guilty when you found out he had no soul.

Dean insisted that it wasn’t your fault.

He helped you with nightmares from the cage. You found yourself sleeping in the same bed as him again.

Sam

You were older by like 10 minutes. You always teased him about it.

He got you back by teasing you over being short.

Neither of you have any memories of life before the fire so as children you used to both make up stories to help comfort each other.

These stories helped you both pretend that you at least knew your mom and what normal life was like.

You both kinda depended on each other growing up.

While you didn’t verbalise it like Sam, you also didn’t like hunting or the constant moving around.

You were a bit more of a social butterfly than your twin but you still struggled with having to make new friends constantly. 

Like your brother, you were also quite smart and did well in school.

For a while, you wanted to be a doctor but knew realistically you had no chance.

As you got older you began to grow a slight resentment towards your dad for forcing you all into this life. One day after a bad hunt you snapped and told your dad how you felt. New’s flash it went really bad.

Your eyes widened as you realised what you had just said. Dean slowly pushed his arm in front of you urging you to move back as your Dad turned to face you. “What did you just say.” Your dad’s voice was hard as he took a step forward. You felt Sam pull you back further as Dean tried to defuse the situation.

After that things were awkward for a while. You went to go stay with Bobby much to Sam’s disdain.

You came back a year later when you were 17.

Things were ok until Sam left for Stanford. You were happy for him but also jealous that he was getting out and you weren't.

During that time you and Dean became close.

Reconnecting with Sam after your dad went missing and helping him when Jess died.

Feeling guilty when your dad died that you spent so much time resenting him (He apologised just before Azael came)

Unlike your brother, Azael didn’t do anything to you so you never had any issues with demon blood.

Convincing Sam that he wasn’t a monster. 

When he died the first time you were inconsolable for days. 

You and Dean arguing over Deans's deal.

Hating Ruby and knowing she was up to something. Her also causing you and Sam to fall out over his powers.

You and Dean both knew that while Sam was trying to do a good thing she was not.

Helping him with his guilt over Litlth and Lucifer.

Him and you making up after Rubys' death. This actually made you and Sam closer than ever.

Again having to convince him that he is not a bad person when the whole Lucifer and Micheal thing comes to light.

You’re the middleman in the situation. You spent most of your time trying to convince both your brothers not to say yes.

Convincing Dean but not managing to convince your twin.

Before saying yes Sam said that he wanted you to get out and have a normal life.

You were pretty heartbroken but after hanging around Dean and Lisa for a few months you ended up meeting someone  (Lisa set you up but you don’t know that)

You both moved in together and you found yourself actually enjoying this normal life.

Then Sam appeared and you had to choose. Dean told you to stay but you knew you couldn’t leave Sam.

When you found out about Sam having no soul you felt so guilty.

“How didn't I realise sooner?” You sat down on the bed placing your head in your hands. Dean gently rubbed your back with a small sigh. “None of us knew. It’s not your fault.

You ended up kinda living two lives for the next year until Sam got his soul back and you realised living two lives was too dangerous. You broke up with him but you both ended up getting back together a few years later.

Sam was happy that you'd found someone and pushed for you to stay with him. But you knew your place was always gonna be with your brothers.

[aylacavebear]

Soulmates? Yeah, right, pft. - Ch. 7

When you turn sixteen, and your soulmate's name doesn’t appear anywhere on your body that you can find, you figure you had to be the only person on the planet who didn’t have one. Most of the town shuns you, so you stick close to family. Your Aunt Ellen raised you after your parents died in a car crash when you were two, but what happens when the Winchesters return to town and buried secrets begin to come to light?

Pairing: Mechanic Dean Winchester x OC Reader/You

Word Count: 2936

Warnings: Angst, some Fluff, Dean being a sweetheart, Dealing with emotional stuff.

A/N: This is my non-Supernatural fic I'm attempting. Please let me know what you think, as I always love hearing from my readers.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 7

It wasn't an instant adjustment, but it took you and Dean a couple of weeks to get into a comfortable rhythm of living together. After rearranging, the two of you hung the dark sheets in the living room around the couch so that Dean had a space all his own. When he wasn’t sleeping or needing to be by himself, the sheets were pulled back.

His cleanliness surprised you a bit. You figured most guys who were single were sloppier. That whole “bachelor life” stereotype you had heard as a teenager and young adult. Dean was anything but. He even did the dishes sometimes. What shocked you most was that he cleaned up after he shaved.

The two of you kept in contact with Ellen, Bobby, Jodi, John, Mary, and Sam, but only when required and only with the burner phones Dean had gotten. Jodi had managed to get a restraining order against the Vaught family, which was helpful. You and Dean both knew that it wouldn’t stop Azazel, though, so stayed in the bunker.

Sam had made it down two days after you and Dean had locked yourselves in the bunker. He went over all the paperwork you’d left with the adults and said he’d be able to not only help you but also Dean with what was there. Then, he took a copy of it all and headed back to California to get to work.

There were awkward times between you and Dean, but he always seemed to find a way to get you to laugh or pull you from your thoughts and ease the tension. It was something you were utterly thankful for. 

That stupid little spark of hope had threatened to ignite around Dean more than once, and it was getting harder and harder to push it back down, no matter how many times you reminded yourself that he had a soulmate. 

You’d taken a couple of showers, but you hadn’t noticed it, not until during that third week. You had gone into the bathroom, and after stripping down, you stared at yourself in the mirror for a few moments when what looked like a smudge of dirt near your collarbone caught your eye.

Narrowing your eyes and getting as close to the mirror as you could, now on your tiptoes, you rubbed what looked like light lines of dirt that didn’t make much sense. You even tried using some water out of the sink to get it to come off, but that didn’t work either.

You were far too focused on trying to get the “smudge” off of your skin that you weren’t paying attention to where the water had dripped on the counter. When you went to lean a little closer, your fingers slipped on the wet counter, and with a scream, you went tumbling sideways onto the floor. Luckily, you didn’t hurt more than your pride.

“What happened?!” Dean exclaimed, opening the bathroom door within seconds and froze, seeing you naked, half sitting on the floor, rubbing your asscheek where you’d landed.

“I slipped,” you grumbled. Then the realization dawned on you, and you quickly pulled down a towel, covering your body, barely.

His gaze was fixed on you, but yours was fixed to your right, too embarrassed to look up at him. You were sure you were blushing to your toes at this point.

Dean’s hand was still gripping the doorknob, still halfway into the bathroom. The door was completely open, and he was staring down at you, mouth slightly open like he wanted to say something but couldn’t.

“Can, you, uh, go… so I can take my shower?” you finally asked quietly, still embarrassed.

“Oh, yeah. Shit, sorry,” he mumbled quickly, pulling the door closed as he left. 

You sighed, then stood up, hanging the towel on the rack again. You inspected your asscheek where you’d landed, and it was a little red from the impact. 

Great, I’m probably gonna end up with a bruise.

Ignoring what you assumed was a smudge of dirt, you got in the shower. The hot water felt wonderful as it trailed down your body. You did try to scrub off the “dirt” again, this time with soap, but it didn’t work, which only aggravated you. During the rest of your shower, while you dried and then dressed, your mind attempted to figure out what you could have gotten on yourself that wasn’t washing off.

When you did finally return to the living room, dressed in a tank top and jeans, Dean was sitting on the couch with the curtains closed. You had wanted to ask him about the “dirt,” but seeing that made you somewhat sad, so you just went back to your room. 

He’s probably mad at me for scaring him for no reason. Then, he had to see me naked like that, and that probably bothered him. Not surprised he doesn’t want to see me right now.

There wasn’t much to do in your room. In fact, the only thing you really could do was read. The TV was in the living room, and you wanted to give Dean the space he was seeking. You rubbed the front part of your shoulder, where the “dirt” was, then sighed silently while sitting on the edge of your bed. 

Your mind wouldn’t stop, the thoughts not helping any, knowing the two of you were stuck in this bunker together until things got figured out. When you were about to grab a random book off of the bookshelf in your room, you heard an alarm sound coming from your closet.

It startled you, but you ran in, quickly sliding into the chair and staring at the monitors. There were two men, both dressed in suits, knocking on your front door. You didn’t recognize either of them. The burner phone in your pocket began going off, so you pulled it out and answered it, never taking your eyes from the screen.

“Jodi, there are two men at my house,” you began, but she jumped in.

“Whatever you do, don’t leave. They are there to take you due to the wedding thing. Sam’s still working on getting your case heard in court. It’s taking far longer than anyone wanted,” Jodi quickly explained.

“I won’t leave, I promise,” you replied, then Jodi hung up.

You closed the phone and set it on the desk, then slumped back in the seat, sighing.

“What happened?” Dean asked from the doorway, making you jump from his sudden presence.

“Two guys are at the front door. Jodi said they are here to take me somewhere for the wedding and not to leave,” you sighed, looking from Dean back to the monitors. 

He slowly entered the room and looked over your shoulder at the screen, then leaned back against the table, just watching.

“I’m sorry, about earlier,” you apologized quietly. “I wasn’t paying attention and slipped. I didn’t mean to scare you or make you have to see me naked.”

You were thankful that he couldn’t see your face. You were both blushing at the embarrassment and sad due to that stupid ember of hope you hadn’t been able to get rid of. However, that also meant you couldn’t see Dean’s face or how he reacted to what you’d said.

There was silence for quite some time. The two men on the monitors you and Dean had been watching left, and after their car drove away, the specific cameras stopped flashing red. Dean still hadn’t said anything, which worried you. It wasn’t until you went to get up that he finally spoke.

“You don’t have to be sorry. It’s not like you did it on purpose. I can’t help it, I worry about you,” he told you, somewhat quietly, and you could have sworn he almost sounded nervous or shy even. “As for the whole naked thing, well, uh… I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, and, I’m sorry for staring. Afterward, well… I needed some, uh, time- to myself,” he stuttered out.

Something you’d never really seen from Dean was him being shy or nervous, and his tone caused you to turn and look up at him curiously. “So, you’re not mad at me?” you asked, mildly confused, but you did understand what he meant by needing time to himself. The thought of that almost made you blush.

“Definitly not mad at you,” he chuckled shyly, which you found kind of cute.

“Wanna watch a movie then? Forget about the whole thing?” you asked, finally smiling a little and hoping to help take his mind off whatever was bothering him.

“A movie sounds great, but this time, it’s a western. You picked the last movie,” he teased you, but all you could do was chuckle at him.

As the two of you headed out of the living room, Dean spoke up from behind you, “What were you doing that ended with you being on the floor anyway?”

“Oh yeah. I almost forgot about that,” you replied, as you had forgotten with everything else going on. Dean was getting the movie set up while you got comfy on the couch and continued, “I’ve got dirt or something near my collarbone, but I couldn’t scrub it off. I was gonna ask you about it after my shower, but, uh… yeah. Your curtains were closed, so was gonna just wait.”

Dean raised an eyebrow as he glanced over at you, sliding the VHS into the player. Then, he narrowed his eyes a bit. You knew that expression to be his thinking face, which you were trying not to find adorable. “Lemme see,” he told you, now sitting on the coffee table in front of you as the movie began behind him on the TV.

You put your hair behind you and tilted your neck so he could easily see your collarbone. You were doing fine, up until his hand was on your upper arm, and his thumb was softly brushing over your skin where the “dirt” was. 

He has a soulmate. He wouldn’t think of me as anything other than a friend. God, why does he have to smell so good? Stupid brain, stop it. I’m not losing my virginity to a man I can’t have. And I’m NOT gonna let myself get close to him like that. It’ll just hurt more when he finds his soulmate.

The argument in your brain was only partially distracting you from the feeling of Dean’s hand on you, but it was his words that pulled you completely from your thoughts.

“It looks like your soulmate’s name is trying to come through,” he mumbled, still staring intently at the lines that didn’t make any sense to you.

That was when your eyes locked with his. He was far closer than you’d realized he had gotten, now being able to lightly feel his warm breath on your lips. You swallowed hard but couldn’t bring yourself to look away from those beautiful emerald orbs that you were getting lost in. And at the same time you felt like you were getting lost, you also felt like you were being grounded. Your lips parted slightly, breathing shallowly, not even noticing that he’d moved a little closer before you finally looked away and apologized but also thanked him for looking at what you had thought was dirt.

Dean took a deep breath, letting it out in a sigh before moving to the side of the couch he’d practically claimed as his. You hadn’t minded, though. Now, you were attempting to focus your thoughts, even though your mind was arguing with itself again.

You barely watched the movie, arguing within your mind with yourself all about Dean. The marks on your collarbone were only tiny pieces of letters, and they didn’t make any sense. All you could tell, from what you remembered from the bathroom, was that there had to be at least four letters. That only caused more thoughts to circle their way through your mind.

“Are you gonna stay in your head all night, or do you want to come cuddle and finish the movie with me?” he asked, making you squeak in surprise. That only made him chuckle at you. “I still find that cute.”

You gave him a playful glare before moving over and snuggling up to him, his arm now around your shoulders. “I don’t mean to be so spacey. I’ve just got a lot on my mind,” you said as apologetically as you could without actually saying you were sorry.

He sighed, and you felt it with how his chest moved, “I keep telling you that you can talk to me about it. I won’t get mad at you, and I won’t treat you like everyone else has.”

“I know,” you mumbled through a pout, playing with a little crease on his shirt. “It’s just…,” you trailed off, not even sure how to tell him what had been running through your mind. “I’m… I keep reminding myself that you have a soulmate,” you finally mumbled.

It felt like your heart not only stopped but also sped up. Or, perhaps, it was only beating so fast that it felt like it had stopped. You weren’t entirely sure. There were plenty of implications in what you’d said, and now you were worried that it would affect your friendship with Dean. On top of that, you weren’t sure how you’d react no matter what he said.

You glanced at the TV, recognizing it only as a Clint Eastwood movie, but you had no idea what the title was. “What does me having a soulmate have anything-” he began, then froze where he was sitting. You could even hear his heartbeat speed up a little.

Pouting, you ducked your head a little lower against his chest, wishing you could go hide in some corner, and figured your cheeks were beat red at this point. “I’m sorry,” you mumbled, almost inaudibly. That only made Dean sigh.

He gently lifted your chin with his thumb and forefinger, and when you met his gaze, you wished you could look away. “You really need to stop apologizing. I didn’t know what was bothering you, and I asked. I’m not upset. It just surprised me, if I’m taking it the way you’re implying it,” he told you softer than you thought he’d be with how he’d frozen a moment ago. 

It was how his eyes seemed to be darker than before that made you want to look away. Your mind was thinking far too many thoughts about being this close to him. He almost seemed to be undressing you with his eyes, but you tried to tell your brain that was what you wanted him to do, not that that was what he was actually doing. Your eyes looked down momentarily when he slowly licked his lips, the movement catching your attention.

“How do you think I’m implying it?” you asked through a mix of nervousness, anticipation, hope, fear, and shyness. It was almost too much to feel all at once.

Your question only made him smirk in that delicious way that he did. Being this close to him was making thinking almost impossible. “That if I kissed you right now, you wouldn’t tell me no or try to stop me,” he said in a low, almost seductive tone.

You wanted to melt into him, let him do just what he’d said, but you couldn’t. The pain of losing him to his soulmate after letting something that intimate happen with him would only hurt you more. So, using the last of the resolve you had left within you, you pushed away from him gently but to the middle of the couch.

“I… can’t…” you told him, staring at the coffee table.

He furrowed his brow in complete confusion and even shifted so that he was facing you. “Seriously, Y/N, what’s bothering you?” he asked, far more concerned than he had been earlier.

It was something you’d refused to even let your mind think, but with his question, the tears slowly slipped down your cheeks. You’d been denying it since the first week the two of you had worked together. You were constantly pushing the thoughts and feelings away. 

“I like you more than I should. You have a soulmate, and one day, I’ll have one too. I’m sorry I fell for you and made things uncomfortable now that you’re stuck down here with me,” you managed through fighting the tears, some of them slipping out anyway.

You were too embarrassed to stay there and finish the movie with him, quickly getting to your feet and going to your room. You didn’t even give him a chance to respond, worried it would hurt more. For the first time since you’d been down there, you closed your bedroom door, intent on leaving it closed all night.

Burying your face into your pillow, you sobbed, letting out the pain at the thought of losing him, even though he wasn’t yours to begin with. You knew that other people fell in love with those who weren’t their soulmates and even lived happy lives together. You just figured Dean didn’t see you that way or feel that deeply for you. It had been your other reason for never making any sort of move.

You cried yourself to sleep that night. There was still a lot you didn’t know about and didn’t have the courage to ask. If you were being honest with yourself, it was more because you were terrified of what the answers were.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 8

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[scoobydoodean]

Curious if you have anything for "Dean doesn't care about demonic vessels" / Dean calls Sam a monster whenever he makes a concerted efforts to exorcise care about the humans in the vessels. If not, is it something you'd consider tracking or expanding upon?

The first time the death of a vessel comes into question is in 1.22, when Sam, Dean, and Bobby capture "Meg", and the real Meg (Meg Masters) is still alive and possessed by her. Dean is the first person to say they need to exorcise "Meg" immediately to save Meg Masters from possession, while Sam wants to leave Masters possessed so they can potentially get more information out of "Meg" (this is all after "Meg" revealed John's location, so Dean already got what he wanted—Sam wants Azazel's location). Bobby then interjects, saying that exorcising "Meg" will kill Masters.

Sam (quietly to Dean): Maybe we can still use her. Find out where the demon is. Dean: She doesn’t know. Sam: She lied. Dean: Sam, there’s an innocent girl trapped somewhere in there. We’ve go to help her. Bobby (comes up to them): You’re gonna kill her. Dean: What? Bobby: You said she fell from a building. That girl’s body is broken. The only thing keeping her alive is that demon inside. You exorcise it – that girl is going to die. Dean: Listen to me, both of you, we are not gonna leave her like that. Bobby: She is a human being. Dean: And we’re gonna put her out of her misery. Sam, finish it.

This is an interesting discussion, but one where Sam is the absolute least concerned about Meg Masters. Overtaken by the desire for vengeance at this point, Sam just cares about potentially getting information from "Meg" that will lead him to the demon. It's Bobby and Dean who care about Masters, but push for different solutions. Dean believes Masters is suffering and cannot be saved, and is concerned with immediately ending her suffering and violation. More darkly, he may also want a little payback against "Meg" the demon. Bobby, from his own POV as a husband who lost his wife to possession, immediately jumps to wanting to wait and see if they can save Masters somehow, but this is... also likely a pipe dream. "Meg" is... to put it quite bluntly, a creepy, murdering, rapey demon. She is happy to kill humans at her leisure at this point in the series. She has zero incentive to preserve Master's life and they were never going to be able to save her. Meg Masters immediately thanks them for exorcising Meg when she retakes control of her body, even knowing she is going to die. There's really no good solutions in the situation, but Dean is still the one to reflect after on Meg and another of Azazel's children who he kills to save Sam, considering the gravity of the vessels lives.

Dean: Hey, Sam? Sam: Yeah? Dean: You know that guy I shot? There was a person in there. Sam: You didn’t have a choice, Dean. Dean: Yeah, I know, that’s not what bothers me. Sam: Then what does? Dean: Killing that guy, killing Meg. I didn’t hesitate, I didn’t even flinch. For you or Dad, the things I’m willing to do or kill, it’s just, uh .... it scares me sometimes.

I do think Dean is a little less fair with himself when it comes to Meg, given that at the point where they went through with the excorcism, they already had the information on John's location that Dean had wanted.

In 3.04, Sam calls Ruby a "cold bitch" after *she dismisses the weightiness of him killing two vessels. However, Sam kills a crossroad's demon and her vessel just because he's angry in the following episode. Sam's prioritization of vessels doesn't seem to materialize until 4.04. "Metamorphosis" (which I'm guessing is the basis for the claim you're asking me about):

SAM I'm sorry, Dean. I am. But try to see the other side here. DEAN The other side? SAM I'm pulling demons out of innocent people. DEAN Use the knife! SAM The knife kills the victim! What I do, most of them survive! Look, I've saved more people in the last five months than we save in a year.

First, this wasn't the motivation for honing Sam's powers when Sam originally agreed to start using them. His motive was revenge on Lilith. We also know he isn't being honest with Dean or himself here about the full scope of his motivations. As is slowly revealed to us over the course of season 4, Sam is attracted to the feeling of power that the demon blood gives him.

That aside, if you actually take this discussion in 4.04 in context, this is the first conversation where Dean knows Sam is working with Ruby and that Sam is honing powers he developed via her guidance. Dean's plea to use the knife comes right before Sam reveals that he is actually able to save some of the victims by using his powers. Dean doesn't claim the victims are unimportant after that—he pretty clearly suggests that saving the victims being a good thing is the start down the dark path paved with good intentions and that it won't end the way it's started.

DEAN That what Ruby want you to think? Huh? Kind of like the way she tricked you into using your powers? Slippery slope, brother. Just wait and see. Because it's gonna get darker and darker, and God knows where it ends.

He casts doubt on the idea that there aren't ulterior motives and dangerous downsides in play that Ruby isn't being honest about. These concerns materialize as reality by the end of the season. Ruby is using him in the exact manner Dean feared, and as Sam's powers grow, he needs more and more blood to not just grow stronger, but to maintain his powers. By 4.20, he cuts a demons throat and then stabs her, completely uncaring of the vessel, in his desperation to feed. In 4.21, Ruby notes that his appetite has grown, and in 4.22, Sam needs to drink a whole person and he begins to turns into a demon because of all the blood he has consumed.

This "conflict" about the knife killing vessels also isn't a repeated discussion between the brothers. It happens in 4.04 only as noted above. At the end of 4.04, Sam decides he is done with his powers after getting scared by what happened with Jack Montgomery. In 4.07, he decides to use his remaining powers against Samhain, and Dean asks him to use the knife instead. However, Samhain's vessel is 1) a villain 2) already dead. The next time Sam's powers come up is in 4.09 when Ruby urges Sam to use his powers to stop Alastair. After Ruby emphasizes their precarious position, Dean stifles his objections. No one is concerned about Alastair's vessel—they're concerned about not being killed. Dean (though he suspects) does not know about Sam using his powers again until the end of the season in 4.20 when Sam kills a vessel to drink their blood then flexes his powers on the demon possessing Amelia Novak. In other words, at no point after 4.09 does Dean even have an opportunity to object to Sam using his powers, and the vessel discussion is only relevant the first time they discuss Sam's powers, in 4.04. In 4.20, Sam shows he doesn't really care that much about vessels by feeding on and then killing a demon and vessel. So Sam's whole "save the vessel" angle also doesn't come up again after 4.04.

The point being... I think there are various points where Sam and Dean could both have showed more care toward vessels, but we can hardly say that SPN presents a consistent narrative where Sam cares about demonic vessels and Dean doesn't. I think framing the discussion in 4.04 in that way in the first place is fairly disingenuous, given Dean wasn't upset at Sam for wanting to save vessels. He was angry that Sam lied to him and broke a promise to uphold what Sam himself called Dean's dying wish (to please not hone demonic powers with Ruby because Dean believed it was the culmination of Azazel's plans for Sam and a continuation of their family's generational traumas). He's scared because he sees the path paved with good intentions down which Sam could tumble. He's scared because he only found out about all of this because Cas warned him the episode before (in 4.03) that if he didn't stop his brother from working with Ruby, the angels would.

You brother is headed down a dangerous road, Dean, and we're not sure where it leads. So stop it. Or we will.

He's scared because he's spent the last 40 years being coerced and tortured by demons and was corrupted toward becoming one and doesn't want his brother to suffer that same horrific fate—simply by some other means. He's scared because Sam lied to him about all of this, which suggests that deep down, Sam knows there are parts of this that aren't good and he might be hiding more things from Dean or even himself (4.04).

[chereus]

Nothing but a thing | Dean W.

Summary; Reader is in love with the older Winchester but doesn't get the chance to tell him.

Pairings; Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Warnings; Death!! Right person wrong time, storytelling.

Cherry’s notes; Im sorry this is late, tumblr wouldn't let me post this like 2 days ago but here it is and it's mid. also sorry about that. Bucky Barnes one shot coming soon!

Aprox word count; 890

As you sit there, knife to your throat, all you could think of was that you had never gotten to tell Dean your true feelings. That you didn’t just see him as just another hunter but the only person that truly understood you.

When your dad died all those years ago John was there. You and Dean were just kids, too young to know the full extent of what's out there. John killed the nasty son of a bitch that took out your father. And then, when he realized your mother had tragically passed away in a car accident when you were just shy of a year old, he took you in.

Very quickly though you understood the dynamic between John and his kids. He resented them because they reminded him of what he lost. A wife, a home, a family, every sense of normalcy that could’ve possibly been had. But he was especially hard on his oldest, little Dean. Much to your relief you had never seen him raise his hand to his boys, but curiosity got the best of you and you couldn’t help but wonder.

As you and Dean got older and kept crossing paths you started to develop feelings that you weren't prepared for. Well as fate would have it one evening you stumbled across him after years of no contact and the fire had sparked once again. One smouldering hot sticky summer night later and it’s like you had never left.

A few months later however–Dean went to hell, a momentary pause in your spring fling that all came crashing down. Sam, the younger Winchester son had moved on with some chick and a dog last time you heard. You honestly couldn’t believe him, you would’ve never thought you’d see the day a Winchester would abandon his brother.

Bobby was your only consistent for a while, quickly becoming your ‘drink you under the table’ buddy. It wasn’t all bad though, during the time you were thought to be grieving you were actually catching tail on the bastard that took away your Dean. Turns out that Sam was the Demon child and this whole thing was Mary’s fault. She gave up her firstborn for that piece of shit John. Decades later it ends up killing almost everyone.

After months again of no leads Dean just pops up out of the blue with an angry red branding cascading across his shoulder. Said to be the mark of an angel. Who knows though, you weren’t for certain that wasn’t Lucifer's mark himself and your Dean was gone. It was said to be an Angel, but they didn’t say which one.

At first you were just happy that Dean was home but then it quickly became awkward because neither of you knew what to say. He understood that you took his death hard and you were filling in for time lost but also he had just been through possibly one of the most traumatic experiences of his life and couldn’t be committed to something that big when he still hadn’t figured out the next steps. It was unfortunate because he had loved you more than anything else in the world and could never get it out.

Dean was never the type to fight for things that he thought were above him, so when the woman of his dreams walks right back out of his life, he didn’t stop you. Didn’t even say goodbye. He thought it would be best that he didn’t kick you off your pedestal, but you didn’t even care about that you loved him through and through.

So, here you sit, with a knife to your jugular and a swallow in your throat; Dean winchester was the last and only thing running through your mind. You weren't scared to die, naturally your pissed off that it would happen this way though. The rope was starting to burn your wrists. Not that that would matter much soon.

“Any last words?” Alistair spoke. Just trying to torment you.

Your voice, already hoarse from the lack of water in days, “Fuck you, you tiny dick piece of demon shit.” was the only thing you could properly muster in your sweat filled trance. He had kept you here for days on end, nobody had come to save you. You suppose it was his way of letting you see how many people really cared. As much as you hated it, he was right.

As the knife sliced through the tendons of your neck you couldn’t help but think, ‘this is it, this is the way i go’. Kind of poetic, actually. Dean let you go right into the arms of the enemy even if he didn’t see it that way.

Blood pooled down your neck and chest as he removed the blade, leaving you for dead. Your ability to speak being completely gone as the sharp object cut completely through your vocal cords. You started to choke as blood started coming up your windpipes, as least you were gone quick, you thought. In the relative span of a couple days that he kept you here it could’ve been worse. Apparently he couldn’t take time out of his busy day to come and kill you.

“Goodnight my love, see you soon.” was the last thing you heard before taking your final breath.

[wrenwinchester]

Here is an unofficial and occasionally vague Christmas post about Millie and her brothers circa 1990-1991 when Sam gives Dean the Samulet. And about some other Christmas traditions.

Christmas

The Christmas after Millie turned ten went exactly how she expected it to. Sam, wrapped a gift from Uncle Bobby for Dad, as he constantly asked if Dad was coming back to the motel for Christmas. Dean of course lied to the kid, hoping he was right. The truth was, Millie and Dean had no idea where their dad was, or if he was even alive. But, Sammy hadn’t even learned about what goes bump in the night yet, and the older Winchesters wanted to keep it that way as long as their father would allow.

The two of them put Sam to bed. Promising that Dad would be back when he woke up, they both knew they were lying. And that they would continue to lie as long as they had to, to protect their baby brother.

After Sam was sound asleep, Millie lying next to him, combing her hands through his hair in a comforting manner, Dean told her he was going to go get some necessities, another lie, she knew, but she also understood why. The less she knew, the better she could protect herself and Sam if something were to happen to Dean. At least, from people. Monsters didn’t need to be reasoned with.

She must have dozed off, while Dean was out because she wakes up to Dean coming back in with a small tree, and a couple well wrapped gifts for Sam. Dean and Millie hadn’t expected Christmas since the year immediately following their mother’s death. Millie didn’t understand for a couple years yet, but she wasn’t worried, because her brother wasn’t worried. She always trusted Dean. No matter what he said or did. Even when she knew he was lying.

She quietly slipped out of the bed, and helped Dean set up for Sam.

A few hours later, Sam woke up, and looked around the room, a small smile growing on his face. “Dad?” He asked, hope growing in his eyes.

Before Millie could respond. Dean said, “He came in late last night, and left. He didn’t want to wake you up. But he brought Christmas!” Dean tried to sound convincing, but Millie saw Sammy’s eyes drop.

“Sure.”

Things here unfold as in the show, with Millie observing because that’s what she does. And when Sam gives Dean the amulet, Dean worries she will be a tad jealous, but when he looks at her, all he can see in her eyes is love for her brothers, happy they’re getting along, and an idea forming in her mind. They enjoy their time together both Christmas Day and the week following before John came home, Hungover, and sporting some bruised knuckles.

Over the next year, Millie stole found some thread, six different colors. Lots of blue, purple, and orange, and then some yellow, green, and red.

Then she got to work on making necklaces for herself and her brothers, (she was going to do bracelets, but decided against it with the realization of the realities of hunting.) Dean’s necklace was blue, purple, orange and green. Sam’s was blue, purple, orange, and yellow. And the one she made for herself, was blue, purple, orange, and red.

Blue was Dean’s favorite color, purple her own, and orange was Sam’s favorite color. For Dean’s she chose Green as his fourth color because she wanted him to remember that at his core, he was a caring, nurturing person, no matter what he had to do. Sam’s fourth color, yellow, was because he was the sunshine in his siblings lives, the hope. And for her own, she got red. She told her brothers it was because red was her second favorite, but the reality was that red is both the color of love and anger. She felt it most fitting.

The next Christmas, after the ninth anniversary of their mother’s death, she presented them to her brothers, and they were grateful, and chose to bond and spend the day watching scooby doo reruns as they did the year prior. And would continue to do for years to come.

(Even after Sam went to Stanford, he would sit and watch Scooby on Christmas, hoping his siblings were doing the same, which was occasionally true, though sometimes, the two winchesters who didn’t leave hunting, chose to bury themselves in a case instead of the nostalgia. And after they brought Sam back into hunting, life got crazy, the first time all three of them sat together watching scooby after Sam rejoined them, was the Christmas after Dean’s deal, and before his death.

[sadbigemini]

SUPERNATURAL MY BELOVED!!! Sorry, lol... I have some SPN fic prompts today. Let's get started!

What If Dean Winchester Killed John Before The Pilot?

I saw this post talk about how the initial pilot script implied that Dean killed John instead of hunting down Yellow Eyes (Azazel).

And like just imagine!

John 'finally went too far' (Dean's opinion) in his abuse and Dean had to kill him. But he felt guilty even after everything that the bastard did to him and Sammy. And he couldn't be alone bc what is Dean Winchester without family, without a purpose?? 😭

So, he went to Stanford and told Sammy that Dad was on a hunting trip.

WHAT IF SAM KNEW?!?!

What if Sam knew? Whether it be from the moment Dean said something or he figured it out during the first hunt (the White Woman/Weeping Woman).

But he let Dean have his whole charade bc he knew he was working through his guilt or for some other reason??? Idk

Also in the post was during their 'first' meeting Cas was like "Dean Winchester I need you to help me kill my father" and like that can happen too lmao

It would be interesting

⛧

What if John Winchester died instead of Mary Winchester?

!!!

Patchwork Souls (title rec)

John went into the nursery instead because Mary was going to follow through with the deal she made with Azazel.

Mary would still want revenge against the demon though. Especially since she only agreed that she wouldn't enter the nursery and demons are all about technicality. Only when it doesn't apply to themselves apparently (meaning John's entry shouldn't have mattered, Yellow Eyes could have just teleported away).

So, I think she would start hunting again but she would definitely not let her grief control her. Like someone else we know (side-eyes John 😒).

Now I'm going off of Past Mary's personality bc I hate Brought Back Mary (or whatever you wanna call her lol).

Mary raises the boys and still teaches them to hunt but only for self-defense and as a precaution.

She doesn't take Dean on a hunt until he's like sixteen maybe eighteen and only because he wants to. Same with Sam. She also starts them out easy.

Dean definitely would have probably tried hunting on his own tho.

Bobby or Ellen would watch them a lot when Mary went on hunts.

Would that mean that Ellen's husband is still alive??? Whatever you want ig?

She would never leave them alone in a motel until Dean is like at least fourteen. And she would always leave them with enough money. Even if there wasn't quite enough for herself.

But when she wanted to spend some time with her boys she would hand off the case to someone else through Bobby or Ellen.

Jo would be like their little sister and Ash would be like their weird brother lmao

Bobby kinda became like a father figure to Mary and a grandfather like figure to the boys (don't get me started on that while weird relationship in the show please).

Mary makes money by becoming a private detective and solves mostly supernatural crimes. Sometimes it's just cheating husbands.

But when work is slow she works at the Roadhouse for extra cash and also hustles the hunters there.

Bobby/Jody or Jody/Donna??

Dean/Castiel in the future?

Mary encouraged Sam to pursue his dreams of a more normal safe life and becoming a lawyer. She also encouraged Dean's dreams of becoming a hunter even if she wishes he chose a different route.

The story might start with Mary being kidnapped because the demons want the colt? And Dean pulls Sam away from his more apple pie life to find her. Or maybe she went dark because she caught Yellow Eyes’ (Azazel’s) trail?

Maybe she wants to shield her boys from the demon and try to keep them safe?

What about John's deal with Azazel? Would Mary make it instead? Or would that not happen??

⛧

Dad Bobby ♡

Bobby adopts the Winchester boys legally.

When Bobby meets the Winchesters he's reminded of his father and he does something about it.

First he goes to rehab, talks to Dean (first about John not his plan yet, when he does it's a year after Dean was sent to the boy's home), starts getting friendlier with the locals, and asks Ellen and some hunters to help fix up his house. Making it not look so blatantly like a hunter's.

They hide it all in his panic room which he then makes a secret passage to so the social worker won't see it. But he keeps his guns locked up in his room.

He also takes a step back from hunting but still helps from pretending to be a FBI superior to giving hunting advice to finding hunts for others to help research lore. He focuses on his car business.

SPN has so SO many plot holes ranging from big to small so some the ages for certain things have been changed.

So, Dean went to the boy's home at 14 instead of 16. Sam was 10. Sam learned about monsters when he was 8 like in canon. Dean learned about them a little younger maybe. Currently Dean is 15 and Sam is 11???

⛧

The FBI Has A Secret Task Force Of Hunters

Supernatural and Criminal Minds crossover!!

Dean and Sam are forced to join if they don't want to go to jail. They'd also get paid a salary and have more stability. But it throws the Winchester brothers into a whole new world.

They have mandatory therapy and training tho– HA!

They'd also probably have to share their knowledge and train agents. Obviously the BAU is assigned to them.

So, the BAU works with them and gets brought into a whole new world too.

Maybe Bobby joins later and helps recruit more hunters, so they all could get paid or???

The new hunters have to probably pass a psych eval and stuff though, so???

OH MY GOD CHARLIE AND GARCIA!!!! they would bond over their VERY similar pasts and their VERY similar personalities! Dead parents bc of a car crash? Check. Sunshine nerdy personality? Check. Fangirls? Check. Tech geeks who dabbled in the illegal side of things? Check. Bright colors? Check. Fruity? Check.

THERE ARE DIFFERENCES THO SO THAT'S GOOD

Sam and Reid!

DEAN AND MORGAN!!!!

Sam And Emily!!

Sam and JJ!!!

OMG Rossi would uncle the hell out of them and I think Bobby would be jealous lmao but they would probably become drinking buddies.

CAS AND REID!!!!!!!

[dwonfilm]

Come hell or high water. | Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Looming over the Winchesters and [Y/N] is the war between heaven and hell. Dean will ultimately be faced with a choice he’d never be able to make. What will happen?

This will be a multi-part story, not necessarily set in a specific season but around 4-5 (verging on 6 at this point) would be the best fit.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: Supernatural level violence, the rest is pure fluff this go-round.

Mentions: Sam Winchester, Bobby Singer, John Winchester, Lucifer

Here’s Part VI if you haven’t read.

They were just about to enter an abandoned building. Sam, Dean and [Y/N] were on a hunt. It was pretty run of the mill, just a couple of vampires. It wasn’t a large nest—just three or four. All three of them had exited the impala and walked around to the trunk. Dean had opened it up and pulled out three machetes. One was handed to Sam, one to [Y/N] and one for himself to keep. “Alright, let’s just get in and get out. I’m not trying to linger here too long. We got plans and all.” Dean spoke with a smile to [Y/N]. She looked towards him and smiled brightly. It was [Y/N]’s birthday. Sam chuckled softly shaking his head. “Yeah. We. Don’t rush straight to all the couple stuff and you inevitably making me wanna hurl.” Sam butted in, chuckling softly. “All night long.” Dean teased him, [Y/N] couldn’t help but to laugh. Gently pushing down the trunk of Baby, the eldest Winchester would take a gentle breath. “Alright c’mon you two—let’s just get this over with.” [Y/N] spoke before leading the trio towards the abandoned building. All three of them had done this more times than they could count. It was something that became so routine they could almost do it with their eyes closed. After taking a deep breath the group began making their way towards the door. Once inside they remained hush-hush, using hand signals to communicate, much like cops—it had been a running joke at this point. Sam went down the whole way to the basement, Dean took the middle floor and [Y/N] took the top floor.

Sam had found one vamp in the basement, successfully killing it without much fuss. [Y/N] found one on the top floor and it was pretty much the same experience: an easy kill. Almost like it was too easy. Sam didn’t hear much from the floor above, which had been a little strange. He began to head up slowly, just in case there was something going on so he’d be closer. She’d thought a similar thought from above and was headed down—if she was done there’s no way Dean wouldn’t be, this feeling intensified when she entered the little corridor to see Sam coming up from his floor. [Y/N] had a sinking feeling. “You done?” She whispered, her eyes gazing towards Sam and they were betraying her feelings easily. “Yeah. You also feeling like something is..” He was trailing off so she’d nodded and picked his sentence back up. “Weird? Yeah. Almost like this was..” she trailed off this time and it was the younger Winchester who picked the sentence up. “Too easy?” [Y/N] nodded her head. They’d been standing there for at least a minute or two and still there was no noise, no sign of Dean anywhere. Now she was feeling incredibly uneasy. “I say we go in, he can yell if things are fine but there’s no way we’d be done and he’s not.” Her voice betrayed how stressed she was, which to the brothers was an indication that there was something wrong. Sam nodded and slowly, they both pushed the doors open and made their way inside the main portion of the second floor. They’d taken a mere few steps inside when both of them heard Dean groan in pain. It made her heart began to race as both her and Sam began to rush toward the sound. It was still possible it was a small miscalculation but they both knew that was highly unlikely.

However they didn’t want to move too quickly and spook the vamp into doing something drastic. So they moved as they always would in these situations despite everything inside of [Y/N] telling her to run. After what seemed like years they rounded the corner and saw Dean struggling to fend off three vampires—this wasn’t making any sense. Both Sam and [Y/N] ran over gripping their machetes tightly. Sam took the one on the left and [Y/N] took the one on the right. Luckily it caught them off guard and that left just one for Dean to handle. How did they calculate things so incorrectly? She felt a little better when she caught Dean up and fighting in her peripheral vision. Sam was the first to finish off the vamp he was fighting, slicing its head clean off with a swift motion. [Y/N] was the next to do so, ducking an attempt by the vampire to grab her and quickly recovering to slice its head off from behind. Odds had swung in their favor but she still felt a lingering feeling of dread. It didn’t take long to figure out why, the second she turned around she saw Dean swinging his machete, but the vampire knocked it from his hand with a strong kick to his arm. Both Sam and [Y/N] began moving from the opposite directions towards Dean, but what happened next was unexpected—after ducking from a punch thrown by the oldest Winchester, the vampire grabbed his fallen machete. Just as his brother and his girlfriend had reached where he was, the unthinkable happened and in the blink of an eye the vampire buried Dean’s own machete into his chest. [Y/N] screamed his name and ran for Dean dropping her machete in the process, Sam doing the same but keeping his in hand because he knew that she was in distress. She’d reached the eldest Winchester before he’d even fully realized what happened. Hands pressing against his chest to stop the bleeding though she knew deep down that it couldn’t be stopped. Sam with the added rage came in swinging, quickly decapitating the vamp. [Y/N]’s eyes clouded with tears but she kept blinking them away.

Dean was coughing, gasping for air while his hand reached for hers. Sam had rushed over and knelt down beside Dean on the floor. Seeing his brother joining them, Dean grabbed onto his arm and slowly began to speak. “Take.. take care of her Sammy.” He uttered, his voice weak. Sam’s eyes filled with tears but he nodded slowly. “I will, Dean.” He spoke lowly. Both brothers’ gazes moved to [Y/N] and Sam grew quiet, just holding his brother’s arm. “Sweetheart..” Dean coughed and gripped her hand tighter, getting her attention fully. “I’m sorry I ruined your birthday.” He sputtered, making her cry even more. “You didn’t..” she lied, sobbing out her words. “I love you,” he coughed, voice getting more hoarse the more he spoke. “I need you.. to-to watch after Sammy.” She felt like a knife was being driven into her heart. “I know, I will baby. I’ll keep an eye on him..” She sobbed every word, holding back enough so it wouldn’t mess with her words. “I love you too Dean.” It was then that the grip he had on both his brother and his girlfriend began to lessen and lessen until both arms went entirely limp.

She gasped, sitting up in a panic. [Y/N] was short of breath as she tried to figure out where she was—looking around and seeing familiar walls. Cheap art bought at yard sales. She knew because she’d bought it for Bobby to make his house more ‘homey’. He hated it but he’d never outwardly tell her that. It was then that she relaxed just a little, she was okay… she turned to the side to see.. an empty bed? Oh god.. was that a memory? Where was Dean? She began to hyperventilate a little as she threw the comforter off of her body. Pushing herself up to her feet she began to feel panicked. “Dean..?” She whispered out, scared of the answers that waited further into Bobby’s house. “Dean!” She yelled out, moving into the short hallway and down towards the stairs. She began running down the stairs and yelling Dean’s name. Every instinct in her body being set off, but just as she got to the bottom of the stairs she saw Dean looking worried and jogging to her. “Dean!” She exclaimed, throwing her arms around him and squeezing like he’d disappear if she let go. “I’m here baby, I’m right here.” His voice was low and gentle, he’d wrapped his arms around her and held just as tightly onto her as she was to him. Maybe more. “It was just a nightmare, shhh. I got you, you hear me? You’re safe. I’m safe.” He kept repeating those words over and over, holding onto her and rocking her gently. Sam and Bobby looked over with sympathy—the three of them had been in the kitchen while Dean was making her breakfast. He’d dropped the skillet onto the burner when he’d heard her frantically yelling his name. Bobby had quickly grabbed it to both spare the work Dean put in and to prevent his house from catching fire. Sam had sprung up but when he heard Dean soothing [Y/N] he kept back and gave them a minute to themselves.

She’d been silently sobbing in Dean’s arms as he soothed her, it took about ten minutes but he finally managed to calm [Y/N] down. “It’s okay, baby. Don’t worry.” He spoke with his face buried in her hair. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry..” she whispered a couple more times before really hearing what her boyfriend was saying and for the next few minutes there was silence. “Hey, I made you some breakfast. You hungry?” He asked softly to which she nodded. “Yeah, yeah.. thank you.” She replied, but her tone was soft—almost.. small. It made them all sad, hearing the woman they knew and loved sounding so.. broken. Dean kept his arm around her shoulders as they slowly waked towards the kitchen. Sam and Bobby tried their best to not look sombrely at her but it was impossible. She’d only been back for less than twenty-four hours. “Hi.” She spoke seeing Sam and Bobby standing there. “Hi kiddo.” Bobby spoke, hints of emotion in his voice. Slowly [Y/N] pulled away from Dean and walked to the man that had Ben one of her prominent father figures since her own had died. “I missed you.” She spoke softly and it could be heard when Bobby sniffled. “I missed you too kid.” He wrapped his arms around her gently and she did the same. They stood there hugging for a minute or two before she gently pulled back. Now she turned, giving her full attention to Sam. He’d been tearing up seeing [Y/N] and Bobby but the tears slowly fell now that she was looking at him. She laughed softly, which felt out of place but it was the kind of laugh that occurred when you’d done something that seemed impossible. She quickly walked towards Sam and wrapped her arms around him. “I missed you so much, [Y/N/N].” He’d spoke softly while gently while they hugged. She gave him a firm squeeze, almost like she was still questioning whether this was real or not. “I missed you too, Sammy—so much.” Her voice was gentle and they lingered for a moment or so before pulling back.

Just like the opposite ends of a magnet [Y/N] found herself moving immediately back to Dean. Which he welcomed with open arms—physically and mentally. After a year and a half he’d missed having her in his arms. He’d missed the way her skin felt, the way she smelled and the way that she brought peace to his soul. Sam and Bobby were happy to have [Y/N] back of course, but they were also happy to see Dean at ease and smiling for the first time in a year and a half. Slowly they both exited the kitchen to give them some time to talk. When Dean had gotten her back to the house the night before, she was exhausted and laid down and slept immediately. She sat down at the table, so Dean began to dish up the eggs and bacon he’d made for her. He’d also made her toast, just the way she liked it. [Y/N] smiled at him but the light didn’t quite reach her eyes. After all of the food was on the plate, he’d set it down in front of her and immediately sat in the chair next to her. “Thank you.” She spoke, the tone of voice still soft and sad. He watched her as she picked at the food, taking small bites of the eggs. There was a silence that hovered over the couple for a little bit, before Dean took a deep breath in. “You uh.. you wanna tell me what had you so scared?” He asked in a gentle tone, not wanting to push her into anything. She gulped a little harshly. Dean knew how much he was shut off for a couple days after he’d returned from hell and she’d been so patient with him, he wanted to offer her the same courtesy. “You don’t have to explain if you don’t want to though.” [Y/N]’s gaze fell to the table and she began to pick at the eggs again. Silence filled the air in Bobby’s kitchen, for minutes on end. Dean opened his mouth, about to say something, but she finally spoke. “It was.. it was one of the things Lucifer made me live in.” She replied finally, her voice was shaking a little bit. [Y/N] didn’t know whether she should even continue but.. she knew that Dean deserved the truth. She always asked him for it when these situations were reversed, so she needed to practice what she preached.

Dean swallowed hard, he should’ve known that’s what it was—he still had nightmares about his own experience. What was worse in this sense, was that he saw the absolute fear in his girlfriend’s eyes when she came flying down the stairs. It was a look he’d seen a few times and that scared him for what she was about to explain. [Y/N]’s voice still sounded so small, but she continued to speak. “It was my birthday, you, Sam and I were on a hunt. Just a quick one, we thought. Clearing a couple stray vamps and being done for.. whatever we had planned for my birthday.” Dean’s heart broke, hearing that she’d been made to believe, likely more than once, that something horrific happened on her birthday. Lucifer was a prick, always trying to take the deepest jabs at people. [Y/N] took another deep breath, trying to keep her voice steady. He reached out apprehensively to lay his hand atop her own, supporting her without speaking as he didn’t want to interrupt. “It was a three story building, we split floors because we knew there was maximum three or four vamps. You know, just a quick stop and nothing more. Sam and I cleared our floors, we’d met on the staircase and both of us were confused.” She laughed in a sort of dry fashion. “You’d never be the last one done, usually you were the first.” Dean could feel her shaking a little and gently squeezed her hand. “We knew something was wrong from that fact alone, so we moved into your floor and started looking around. We.. miscalculated, three extra vamps were there somehow..” she trailed off and she felt sick to her stomach. Dean knew the feeling she had, he could read her face and her body language and gently pulled the fork from her hand and placed it onto the table—he quickly brought their hands together and intertwined their fingers. “I’m right here sweetheart. I know it must be so hard, but it wasn’t real and I’m right here.” He spoke in such a soft tone that it made her feel more emotional. [Y/N] felt the tears welling up in her eyes but she tried to just blink them away. Firmly she squeezed Dean’s hand, making sure he was indeed right there with her and that further broke his heart.

“Sam and I rushed over, each tackling one of the vamps and you’d been fine, you were fine when I looked at you and then it happened so fast..” she squeezed his hand a little harder, as if to ground herself in the reality of this moment. “He knocked the machete out of your hand by kicking your arm, you tried to land a punch but he ducked and then..” she felt the tears falling onto her cheeks. It was in this moment that she finally looked up, gazing into the green eyes of her boyfriend. It made his heart ache in his chest but he just wanted to let her get it out, however long that took he didn’t care. He was there for her, just like he’d always been there for her and just like she’d always been there for him. “..while you were standing back up the vamp grabbed your machete and.. and..” more tears fell from her [Y/E/C] eyes and Dean just wanted to wrap his arms around her and never let go. “…he buried the machete in your chest and I panicked, dropped my machete and ran for you. Sam ran too but managed to keep his weapon and kill the bastard. You grabbed my hand and then grabbed Sam’s arm..” Again she squeezed Dean’s hand, keeping herself grounded. “You made him promise to take care of me, you apologized for ruining my birthday and asked me to keep an eye on him. You told me you loved me and when I said it to you.. you let go.” Dean’s heart was truly broken hearing how [Y/N]’s words towards the end turning into sobs. “That’s when you woke up—you came running down the stairs because I wasn’t in bed with you.” He spoke softly. She nodded, looking back down at the table. “I thought it-.. it was a recollection dream and that you were really gone.” After she’d finished speaking Dean got up from his chair and quickly wrapped his arms around her body. She melted into his embrace and sobbed for a few minutes. He just kept repeating himself, “You’re okay”, “I’ve got you”, all the usual phrases just to remind her that he was very much alive. This lasted for a couple minutes before they’d separated and she sat back down, finally eating the breakfast that Dean had made for her—he kept by her, sitting back down in the chair where he’d been a little bit before. Once she was finished, Dean gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “If you can handle it, I wanna take you back to your.. place.“ His voice was unsure, but she nodded. “Yeah, yeah.. I wanna go.” Dean clearly had something he wanted to show her and that was enough for her to be okay with going.

A few hours later at [Y/N]’s place..

Dean held tightly onto [Y/N]’s hand as they walked through the gate. It was a gate that looked handcrafted, he’d stopped when he noticed that she was looking at it. “Bobby made it, Sammy did the flowers in the spaces.” He spoke softly, leaning into her and looking up at the gate. “Sunflowers, my favorite.” She spoke with a genuine sense of appreciation and love, moving her gaze over to Dean. His eyes were shining with emotion but mostly with love. They began to move into the main area of the place, where the coffin had been buried. It was surrounded with more sunflowers, some fake and some real. It made her feel a sense of warmth that she hadn’t felt in so long. Dean noticed this and it caused a smile to slowly spread across his lips. Alongside the flowers she noticed some signs, they looked hand painted and featured lyrics from some of her favorite songs. [Y/N] gently pulled Dean towards one of them, smiling as she read the lyric. All we are is dust in the wind. It was one of her favorite songs. He squeezed her hand which drew her from her thoughts. “I used to sit here and play it, over and over again until I was almost tired of Kansas.” There was a sad edge to his voice, but he didn’t need to be sad now. “Remember that day, jeez, we’d known each other about two weeks at that point.” He began explaining. “We were driving to help my dad with a poltergeist case in Memphis.” [Y/N]’s face lit up when she recalled the day, but he continued to speak. “We were listening to music and I was about to change the tape—“ she cut him off affectionately. “..but I made you leave it because ‘Dust In The Wind’ came on and you groaned initially.” She spoke with a gentle chuckle after. “I did, yeah. I’m glad I listened, cause looking over at you in the passenger seat.. sun shining on you through the windshield, singing that damn song—that was the moment I really fell in love with you.” Dean’s voice held so much emotion and she fully turned to look at him. [Y/E/C] eyes brimming with tears. “You never told me that.” She whispered, her heart soaring. He squeezed her hand again while taking her other one into his free hand. There was a comfortable silence that surrounded them for a minute or two, but he wasn’t done. “I wanna read you something.” He spoke up, finally breaking that bit of silence. This gained more interest from [Y/N] and so she nodded. “Okay.” Dean wore a smile but she could tell he was feeling a bit nervous. Slowly he lead her towards the hole in the ground where she’d emerged from less than a day ago. He released his grip on both of her hands and moved toward the hole. Grabbing a shovel, he began to dig—just enough to widen the hole. Once he’d finished with that he tossed the shovel up into the grass. Slowly he bent down, grabbing two things from what was left of the coffin. One thing he slipped into the pocket of his coat and the other he kept in hand, pulling himself back up to the level ground. Dean walked back over to where [Y/N] stood with an envelope in hand, which she could see hand her name on the outside. “I wrote this the day after.. everything. I buried it with one of your favorite dresses, because they were two things that connected us.” He spoke, ripping the envelope open and pulling out a letter. Again she felt tears in her eyes, but she stayed quiet as she still sensed his nervousness. Dean cleared his throat before beginning to read.

“[Y/N/N], I will never have the words to explain how much you made my life better. You know I’m not good with saying how I feel, though I’ve gotten better at it thanks to you. I’ve been sitting here lost in every moment we shared, regretting that I never said ‘I love you’ as much as I should’ve. It was so hard for me to say it, not because I didn’t love you but because everything I’ve loved or held close.. they’ve left, or they’ve died and now.. you sacrificed yourself to spare me from making an impossible choice—but you also saved Sam from having to endure so much pain and torture and I.. I am in so much pain and yet it just made me love you more. I’ve spent so long taking care of Sammy, I never knew what it was like to be taken care of, not until I met you. Up until the last moment.. you put me and my needs above your own. God you’re.. you were.. so selfless. You always told me that perfect didn’t exist but I saw it every time I looked in your eyes. I woke up today hit with the weight of not having you next to me, your hair not sprawled across my face and in my mouth, no warmth where the brightest bit of sunshine usually laid. I was also hit with all the things I’ve never said to you, like, driving down the road to Memphis and watching you singing along to Kansas, that was the moment I fell in love with you. I never told you that dad told me he knew I was gonna spend the rest of my life trying to keep up with you. He told me that I looked at you the way he looked at Mom and that bastard didn’t like many people.

I never got to tell you how you made vanilla and lavender my favorite smells, it just smells like you. When we had to be apart I actually used to swipe your perfume and spray it on my shirts so I had a piece of you with me. Sam made fun of me for it when he found out but I never cared. I slept last night holding onto one of your shirts for that same reason. God, sweetheart I don’t know how I’m gonna do this—I can’t live without you. You’ve been my anchor and the beacon of light in my sea. You’ve got me writing mushy crap and feeling every bit of it. [Y/N] you got under my skin in the best way and I feel so empty without you here. Sam and I, we’re gonna get you back. I don’t know how, I don’t care how long it takes, we’re gonna get you back and I’m gonna say all of this and maybe more.

Another thing I never told you, when I got myself nabbed by that djinn, my dream world was that damned apple pie life I always told myself I never wanted. You knew that much, but what I never told you was.. that next week, I went and bought you a ring. I didn’t know when or where, but I was gonna give us just a little bit of that apple pie life. I kept it hidden at Bobby’s so you wouldn’t find it. Baby I was so scared to ask you that question and as I’m sitting here without you.. it’s the one thing I wish I’d asked the most. It doesn’t matter when, or where, or any of that. When I get you back, I’m gonna ask you and we’re gonna get that slice of heaven. I love you, [Y/N/N].”

She’d been standing there, listening to him read this letter and feeling so many emotions swirling inside of her mind. However that wasn’t the end of this—slowly Dean got down on one knee and pulled out a small velvet box. “I hope you never question if you’re loved, cause if you do it means I’m failin’ and I’d be disgusted with myself. [Y/N] [Y/M/N] [Y/L/N].. will you marry me?” His voice was the shakiest she’d ever heard it in all the years she’d known him. Tears flowing from both of their eyes as she nodded profusely—smiling and lunging forward into his arms. “Yes, yes of course I’ll marry you Dean!” His arms wrapped around her and held her as tightly as he could to his chest. “Alright let me put the damn ring on you.” He muttered with a chuckle. She pulled back and gave Dean her hand, watching as he removed the diamond ring from the box and slid it onto her ring finger. It was a simple ring and the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. Once it was settled on her finger, he gently pushed himself back up to his feet. [Y/N] admired the ring before she flung herself into Dean’s arms again, their lips crashing into one another’s with a surge of emotions—love, joy, hope. For the first time in a year and a half, things were finally looking up.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Hii everyone! I am SO sorry for the long wait! I had wicked writer’s block and had to combat a slew of other things but I hope you enjoy the chapter! This story will be drawing to a close soon, I’m debating if I wanna do one more part and an epilogue or a few more parts. I appreciate everyone’s love and support on the story! 🤍

• —– ٠ tag list: @roseblue373 @mrsjenniferwinchester @stillhere197 @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @aylacavebear @ladysparkles78 @globetrotter28 ✤ ٠ —– • ·

[autffiy]

My supernatural DR Stories part 1

Hello lovelies,

As promised I would tell you some of my favorite little stories from my Supernatural DR. Grab a coffee, tea or water because hell, this uis going to be a multi part series i think. I got so much to tell.

Mind you.. this is not series accurate so please don't come for me thank tou very much.

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First of all, I'm going to tell you a little bit about my DR self. So you guys can get to know my DR self a little better! {this will be written in my DR POV, little snippets from my DR journal. how fun.} I started writing this journal in September when I hadn't even met the Winchester brothers yet. So you will follow me on my journey when I meet the Winchesters. I started writing in this journal to keep up with my cases... and all the weird stuff happening around me.

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"So my name is Ashly Rowan, I'm a 22 year old girl who is currently moving from motel to motel because ha... i don't have a fucking steady job.. or a home. I drive a sage green 1975 ford F-100 which i sleep in most days... not the most comy tbh. It is now, september 1st when i'm starting to write this journal. I'm now in a motel in Little Rocks- Arkansas. Trying to figure out one of those stupid cases again... on my own. It's a vampire case, nothing too bad. Wish dad was here, he would be.. well probably in shock that i didn't do anything like college or something like that. But also would be proud that i was hunting the thing he got killed by....."

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"I'm currently writing in my car.. I'm on my way to Bobby's house. Bobby Singer.. that old man. Sweet, but feisty and well.. old. But nothing i can't handle. I need his help with a case. Some nasty skin walker a few towns ahead. I need his advice.. and possible help because hell that thing escaped me many.. many times. My ribs are bruised.. and i have a few cuts on my face. Nothing to worry about. I found out that dad had some connection with the supernatural world before he died... but what?? That's what i need to find out.. Maybe i can ask Bobby? Anyhow.. I'm going to sleep now.. in my car in a parking lot at a gas station. Woohoo... goodnight."

The following day on october 31st, Halloween moring i drove the last bit to Bobby's house. Franticly knocking on his door. That's when i met Sam and Dean, their dad went on a hunting trip and hadn't come back. And Sam's girlfriend Jessica got burned up in flames a couple day's prior. Just how their mom died.. Well that's what they told me. I knew a little bit about John Winchester, because various hunters had told me about him. From what i heard he was a prick... but i didn't say that to their faces obviously.

Fast forward a few days later where the boys helped me take down the shapeshifter. We tracked its location down, it was staying in a sewer, of course. We made a game plan. All would enter different entrances of the sewer. So we could lock it in. This was I think one of the most terrible cases ever, so yada yada ya we walked our paths, all circling the skinwalker now. Then it decided to fucking run my way??? So now o was standing there.. in a sewer, covered in fucking slimy, bloody skin walker skin. Since Dean decided to blow that fuckers head off out of reflex. Fantastic... Definitely what I planned. We ended up cleaning off at the motel and meeting back at a diner to grab some food...

So this was basically my first few weeks in my DR. It was nightmare fuel in some ways, skinwalkers are definitely terrifying and I hate them. But even though, it was pretty fun if I say so. The brothers are so funny and sweet.

I will make other parts of this soon, i loveee telling you guys about my stories. Feel free to ask any questions, i'm happy to answer them.

xoxo alli.

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[shelbgrey]

Dating Dean Winchester Headcanons:

Paring: Dean winchester x Singer!Reader

Summary: just some headcanons about Dean dating Bobby Singer's niece. -NSFW content warring.

A/n: the winner of the latest poll, there will be a new one up next week. I was so excited and suprised on how many people did the poll, my first one only had six and the latest one had over 100.

❤️Mood board ❤️MasterList

Being Dean's girlfriend isn't always easy, but you get through it. So let's talk about it.

There was always something between you guys, but with your choice of life there was always something in the way.

You two practically grew up together, with Bobby being your uncle and John being his father you two were always around each other.

I think Dean also had a slight fear of Bobby, you were his niece and your practly his daughter.

Bobby wasn't clueless, he saw the way you two looked at each other. He wanted to kick Dean's teeth out, he's extremely over protective. Bobby also knew if anyone would keep you safe it wold be Dean.

“I know you'll take care of her”

On a side note, Bobby refuse to call you 'idjit'

The last thing he's said before he died was, “take care of my girl.. You idjits”

Anyway, Even if you two kept denying it or if your just clueless, everyone would know.

Other than Sam and Cas, your the only one he 100% trusts you. He'd trusts you with his life and your his partner in crime.

What makes your relationship stronger is that you started off as best friends and allies.

You always thought you were losing him, he would always have one night stands and there was Lisa. Of course they ment nothing to him, he just thought he'd never be good enough for you.

He thought you deserved better. “I'm not what you need...you deserve better”

That was the first time you opened your heart out to him, but he put his walls up. The he pretended like nothing happened... Until you went on one particularly hard hunt.

Everything was happing so fast thst neither one of you remember that night. There was blood everywhere and Dean did everything he could to save you, Castile healed you and Dean confessed something he's been wanting to since he was 18.

“I love you... Please don't leave me, I can't lose you”

Since everything moves fast in your lives you both decided to take things slow. Dispite his rugged appearance he's nothing but a gentleman to you.

He's extremely over protective of you, to the point hunts with him got annoying.

“I'm not some damsley in distress, Dean!”

He knows what a badass you are and he knows you can hold your own, but he can't help but be your shield.

That's really the only times you fight, your both very reckless and laugh in the face of danger. You guys stress each other out on hunts.

But, lets get to the good stuff now.

Your the only other person who can drive the impala, you'd rather just have him driving with you setting with him.

You guys love the same music, so your always singing on the top of your longs to old rock songs. Your guys song is Angel Eyes by The Jeff Healey Band.

You always have to be sleeping next to each other to get a goods night rest, even when you weren't together you two shared a bed in the old motels.

Dean refuses to sleep unless you have fallen asleep first, he just needs to know your okay before he can have a good night sleep.

You bake the best pies in his opinion and Sam loves your homemade salsa.

When you guys moved into the bunker you guys made great use of the kitchen, Sam loves your guys cooking.

Speaking of Sam, he's one of your best friends. Cas is your first, but you and Sam have a long history together. You were even the first one to hear he got accepted into college.

We know Cas is like the Winchesters gardian angel, well Gabriel is yours.

About three years into yours and Dean's relationship you broke up, it was around the time Sam went to hell and you guys just pushed each other away.

Gabe knew you guys loved each other, so he worked really hard to get you back together. He did succeed.

You guys might argue about the little things, but he always know how to make them better.

You guys just like staying in and watching movies or Scooby-Doo. You guys love cuddling up in the Dean cave and just ignore the world for a few hours.

He loves cuddles, if your in bed or on the couch he needs to be holding you. He loves it when he's laying in bed and your lying on top of his chest.

He also loves it when you hold him, maybe after a rough hunt he'll love just rest his head on your chest while you play with his hair.

You love just being in his arms, there's no feeling better than that. He loves snaking his arms around you and resting his chin on your head because he just really needs to being close to you.

He's really just a big ol' teddy bear.

He's a rough kisser, he's way taller than you so usually he hold your chin between his fingers and lift for head up to kiss you.

There's a lot of neck and forehead kisses being handed out by this man. He loves wrapping his arms around you from behind and just trail soft kisses down your neck.

He also loves it when you kiss his forehead. It just a small, loving gesture he absolutely loves.

If your cold you'll steal his flannels or his jackets, he had this black and red flannel that he now only sees if your wearing it.

when ever your busy doing research Dean always deliver a tiny kiss on your forehead. He'd just be walking by and he'll give you a quick kiss just to make you blush.

He's good a making you blush, he thinks it's adorable.

Trust is a big part of your relationship, you both had opened up about the abuse your fathers and dumped on you. That was the reason Bobby took you in, he could bare you being in the type of environment he grew up in.

With that Dean made a promise to never hurt or scare you. He refuses to lay a hurtful hand on you. It'll break his heart if you flinch away from him during an argument.

As much as you love Dean, demon Dean scares the hell out of you. The demon knew this and used it to his advantage. He Dean went back to normal he could barely look into your eyes. He blamed himself for the bruises around your neck the demon caused.

“I promised you I'd never hurt you... I'm so sorry” he said. “it's not your fault”

On a more positive side... You guys have lots of nicknames. You call him Deano or bub and he calls you just about anything but your actual name, Sweetheart is your favorite.

And with FBI names, you take a different approach. While he uses rock aliases you use actor or fictional names.

“agent Sweets, really?” he said playfully. “What? I like the show Bones”

Your like a mother to Claire, she loves you so much and your the only person she trusts other than Jody and the boys.

Speaking of Jody, she took you under her wing immediately. You never had a mother growing up so it was a relief to have her in your life.

You become a mother to Jack too, and your relationship hit a really bumpy road during that time. You hated how Dean treated Jack and it always turned into a fight.

“if you touch him, I swear to God, Dean!”

Den didn't want to be like his father and after awhile Dean's shell broke and he started to grow a soft spot for him, after your lives calmed down you both did end up adopting Jack.

But to legally do that you had to get married. You both wanted to get married so bad, but with your lives you never got the chance.

You weren't gonna get a white wedding, you knew that and Dean thought the Cort house wasn't good enough. So you got married in the church of Elvis in Las Vegas.

NSFW headcanons:

Dean prefers being on top and being the one in control.

He'll mark your thighs with his teeth and biting hard enough to leave a light bruise.

Loves eating you out,your legs around his head. He loves your legs in general and loves leaving kisses on the insides of your thighs. He'd rather pleasure you for hours than receive.

Hair pulling, he loves feeling your fingers in his hair or he'll tangel his fingers in yours and tug on it when he's getting head or about ready to cum.

Bondeg kink, ropes, his ties, belts, he'll tie you up with anything if your comfortable with it.

definitely a fan of overstimulation, he loves the way that your body twitches and you whimper from his touch.

car sex! All the way. loves to take you in the back of the impala, loving the way the windows fog up and the small area gets loud with the noises you make.

He's a soft/mean Dom, it just depends on his mood. But no matter what he always makes sure your comfortable. He loves to take control in the bed but would never push you.

He would really get off on marking you up. He didn’t think he would, as it wasn’t something he thought too much about but when he did it there was no turning back.

He definitely has a Praise kink too, he loves making you feel loved and appreciated. He love how he can easily make you blush. “your so Beautiful”

“you feel so amazing Sweetheart”

He loves hearing you moan. If you try to hold back or even muffle them when it's unnecessary, he'd put an end to it. “don't hold back, let me hear your voice”

He has big chocking kink, he won't be too rough about but he loves wrapping his fingers around your neck and feeling your pulse when he's ramming into you.

This man is amazing when it comes to aftercare. He knows exactly what you need. After your both cleaned up, he'll pull you to his chest to cuddle.

[minalblood]

The Winchesters 1x13 Review

Let’s just dive into this, it’s been a looong time coming:

-I completely forgot that John had had no idea what to do until he got the letter. I wonder if this is something that may have happened in OG SPN? Also, adding to this, we know that when Henry leaves in SPN, the Winchesters are still in Illinois, but in TW they are already moved. I want to know if there is a thread that matches the OG universe and if so when exactly it diverges. Like, did SPN!John have this feeling of complete loss of purpose when he returned from war? We have some hints to tell us yes, but ultimately we don’t know. Did SPN!John know Murphy? Did Murphy die/was his death impactful to John in SPN as it is in TW? I wish we had a bit more details about the similarities and differences in the universes.

-The fact that TW!John called Dean “sir” hurt me as much as it hurt Dean. You can see the pain. I also want to know how Dean left so quickly. Like suspension of disbelief is fine, but considering we have pictures of him in 1970s Lawrence in his car going place to place makes me think he’s at least somewhat constrained to physicality. So did he just dash? Also how did he get upstairs so quick also? So maybe he isn’t as constrained as I was picturing?

-Speaking of, how did Dean get that letter? I may be misremembering things here cuz it’s been a while since ep 1, but I always assumed that Dean would’ve gotten it from the MOL clubhouse prior to him deciding to interfere right? Is did we ever get this answer? If so though, I want to know how long Dean’s been in TW universe because it’s much longer than I remembered it being and how long did he ponder whether to interact with one of his folks? 

-I fully believe Dean lied about the “one last hunt” to Bobby. There are reasons for this and I will mention it a bit later, but for now I want to mention that he can keep this promise and claim a loophole if he so chooses. He hadn’t left Heaven to hunt, he went searching for something personal and stumbled upon the Akrida. He’s still Dean Winchester, there was no way he’d be able to walk away and not at least try to help, nevermind the Akrida showing up because he and Sam defeated Chuck and he’d likely feel even more responsibility.

-I know this ep is coming full circle on all of aur characters growth, but I need to shout out Samuel here for asking Mary and actually backing away once she clarifies her own uncertainty despite his clear shock. The Samuel we met in the beginning of this wouldn’t have stopped until this devolved into a huge fight because Mary isn’t doing what he wants from her. Same to Millie, she just subtly prompted John about Mary leaving hunting and how he’s dealing without badgering or pushing. I also deeply appreciate both Samuel and Millie here inquiring about their kids’ emotional states, great progress. 

-Joan mention! I cannot wait to get into this once she shows up fully.

-And speaking of growth of characters, I also love that for all we see everyone having evolved and developed, they are still to some degree who we met: case in point Mary’s knee jerk reaction if to withhold information. She ends up not really doing this, even trying to have a proper conversation with John later, but her reflex is still to withhold. It’s just that now she’s aware enough that she’ll change her approach.

-Adore the foreshadowing for the Akrida’s defeat “anything not of this Earth”. Especially with the sheer focus on Dean from both in-universe from the Scoobies and out of universe from the fans. 

-Speaking of things I love though, can we just give a full round of applause for Ada not lying and keeping the secret about the spell from everyone? How many times has stuff exactly like this led to worse outcomes exactly because people didn’t communicate? And what’s more, it’s exactly because she mentions this that Lata gets a head start into a solution (second round of applause for this, especially since it’s so rare that we get actual contingencies set up before the really risky move is executed rather than scrambling for a patch work after the fact) and they don't end up using the spell until it’s really unavoidable which leads to the third round of applause for Carlos who prevents Ada from preemptively using the spell (hello direct answer to Jack turning himself into a bomb for Chuck and the plan derailing completely cuz they jumped the shark with it).

-Something to note though: souls function differently in TW apparently. In SPN the closest similar spell we have to what Ada has is Lily Sunder’s angelic magic which also uses fragments of soul as fuel, however unlike SPN where Lily burns piece by piece but ultimately still has the remaining soul after the spells, in TW they clarify that Ada’s soul will slowly dissipate if they take a fragment of it. It's so interesting to see the difference. I wonder why? Maybe souls evolved differently here, maybe the spell, by virtue of being one of Rowena’s (be it her own making a la soul bomb to kill Amara and save the sun or Book of the Damned bomb using your own life as sacrifice to close hell) makes it act differently? I really want to know. 

-The bar being filled with Akrida possessed people is such a call back to the demon filled bars of SPN days and I love it.

-I do think that Joan knowing Dean couldn't interfere too much/make waves is very interesting. Especially since the Akrida are a Chuck designed failsafe.

-Also how did they get him into the portal? I need to know. 

-Joan saying “his body will be torn to shreds for centuries” is doing multiple things for me. One, it’s recalling hell - especially having it be connected to Dean in pain for an extended period. Two, it’s giving us a hint of how Dean will survive while maintaining the stakes for the Scoobies (and to some degree for us since at this point on a 1st run through since we didn’t know how the portal would interact with Dean - dead or not he had a body that could be interacted with).

-“I’m not Akrida. I was human once” is sooo much fun to consider. Joan is very much this amalgamation of so many things, her former humanity, her ties to the Akrida and all that monster essence, and she’s essentially done it to herself, created Frankenstein’s monster outta Frankenstein. No wonder it went off the rails. She and Cuthbert Sinclair are two sides of a coin for me to be honest in this regard.

-It’s also here at the bar that Joan’s main strategy for dealing with the Scoobies gets shown, trying to appeal to the versions of them she has info on. Something that to be honest would’ve worked at the beginning of the season, even maybe halfway through the season might’ve worked. She tries with Samuel first, bringing up the hunting legacy of her family, then with Mary and John. Then when she gets to the clubhouse she goes for Lata, and in the final fight she once more hits John, Samuel and now Carlos. And she clearly pushes very specific trauma triggers for each, focusing most on John’s anger and Mary’s disillusionment with hunting because I think those are the ones she most relates to. Meanwhile with Lata and Carlos she almost pushes opposite by trying to point out how their changes are detrimental. By this I mean, with Mary and John she’s trying to reignite those feelings in them because she can tell they are still there to some degree (as mentioned they’ve both grown but still have a while to go) meanwhile for Lata and Carlos their growth was more foundational since they actively tried to heal versus Mary and John’s pushback against the healing. I hope this makes sense to y’all.

-Having Joan’s motivation be keeping hunters alive initially is so much fun to dig into. Everything she says to them about why she’s doing what she’s doing is something we’ve heard people talk about before, especially in SPN, especially Dean tbh. We’ve seen Dean struggle with the endless loss, with the weight of the responsibility to keep humanity safe, the toll saving the world took on him. Having Joan act as this dark mirror was a great choice. But also Dean would have never reached this point. Even at his darkest moments, he always drew a clear line about what he’s willing to sacrifice - yes, he also never had to deal with the loss of literally everyone everyone, there was always at least one thread, one person, but still. 

-Lata fighting against the Akrida possessing her? Absolute queen behavior! Love her so much. Also Joan reducing her choice to be a pacifist as a black or white thing is very in line with what I was trying to say above. I can exemplify better here though so bare with me. Lata’s pacifism is both a very personal choice that means a lot to her and gives her personal meaning, is a part of her values. But it also used to be a literal blockage for her before ep 11 where any type of violence coming from her side reminded her of her father especially and of that trauma. More specifically, Lata also felt she had to be a pacifist otherwise she would be exactly like her abusive father. Ep 11 had her confronting her trauma and coming to terms with it, something she was already trying bit by bit to do, and re-evaluate what pacifism means to her. So Joan trying to reduce Lata attacking her to say that hunting has tainted Lata, is to completely ignore the complexity of Lata’s choice to be a pacifist and to ignore the very complicated relationship that Lata has to fighting. In this instance, Lata choosing to fight is a testament of how rooted in her sense of self she has become. She can fight back and not feel the guilt she used to, not feel like it’s a failure on her side to do so because anger and fighting do have a purpose and are important sometimes - like when your life is being threatened. 

-Having Joan’s lover be the final thing that got her down the path of destruction is absolutely a choice on the writer’s side that I adore - definitely tying into the SPN!John of it all. I also find it interesting from another perspective. When I 1st watched the bar scene, Joan’s like of “that’s the John I know” had settled into my brain very differently to the point that I was almost certain they were going to reveal that Joan is actually another version of Mary a la Apocalypse world Mary who lost both her family and John, but much earlier. Basically, Joan is continuously this amalgamation of multiple things at once, the worst parts of each.

-Humanity wasting their second chance speech is giving Jigsaw to me tbh. I vibe.

-I love them figuring out that they can use the journal to bring Dean back, but imagine the version of this story where unsteady they use the journal to defeat Joan. It would’ve been hilarious.

-Love that the one Akrida that has had it out for John especially is the one possessing Lata btw. It makes the vitriol feel more personal and makes me think of both the Leviathan’s who hated playing Sam and Dean and of the disdain Lucifer has for humanity, but especially the Winchester brothers. I love this being another creature who is so pissed to deal with Winchester adjacent people that it’s begun just personally having a vendetta against all of Earth. 

-“How many Campbells and Winchesters have to die” goes so unbelievably hard. Especially in the finale of the show now rewatching, but even on 1st watch I remember being hit right in the heart by that line. It’s the fact that I actually completely understand that reasoning and even agree with it that makes the Akrida and Joan especially so fascinating to me. She does have a point is the thing, especially considering the very personal interest God has had in the Campbells and Winchesters bloodlines. And following this up by talking about how history and legacy are playing a heavy role in this continuous suffering is also fantastic, because it is true, but it’s not the whole picture either. It’s not the only legacy and history the Campbells and Winchesters have to tell.

-And once again Chuck had done what he does best: created another world ending being that he then locked away to ensure the world doesn’t get destroyed ahead of time. He did this with Amara, Lucifer, the Leviathans, the Shedim, angels and demons getting thrown in the Empty counts too, the monsters being thrown in Purgatory also falls under this pattern of behavior. He really is a one trick pony on every level.

-Adore that Ada didn’t even hesitate to use the spell to save Lata. And even more love for the fact that everyone is sharing info so they can make a plan together, no one going off on their own like a moron, god the satisfaction of seeing this is unmatched.

-Cutting off Mary before she can say anything to John as they’re saying goodbye essentially, after he more or less poured his heart out? A choice on the writers part that I wholeheartedly agree with. Love the implications here.

-I also adore that it’s a swordfight. This show has gone out of its way to ensure minimal gun use and I think it was a great choice. Also love that all three of them, Samuel, John and Carlos get attacked at once by at least 2 Akrida. 

-BABY!!! (this was the only reaction needed here - just BABY!!!)

-I wonder if Josie existed in this universe? Like did Joan just get rid of the MOL before Henry and Josie went to the church and meet Abaddon? Does Abaddon just not exist in this timeline? Did Henry even try to do field work in this universe? I have questions!

-Dean saving Mary will never not make me emotional ok? That’s what he’s wanted since he was 4! 

-I also love that we have the most roundabout way of referencing Sam here. I will go into more detail why I especially love it, but just know I do.

-I do hate though that Dean still looks surprised that he got into Heaven and the reminder that he’s dead. I hate remembering that 15x20 is a thing that happened still. 

-Living for Dean instantly jail-breaking Heaven though and then basically breaking his parole to interfere when he found the Akrida. Of course he couldn’t help himself, it’s Dean, he has never been able to ignore when something is wrong and he can help.

-Jack saying it’s time for Dean to return to his own story… I don’t disagree but I do object to the “there’ll be peace” mainly cuz Dean clearly isn’t done. And now I need t go into this a second. Because Jack is treating this situation with the Akrida as though this was Dean’s goal here. But the Akrida are the side quest, the thing that derailed the actual thing Dean’s been looking for when he took off from Heaven. Dean isn’t done. This may have helped him make peace with a chapter of his story, but that’s just it. It’s a chapter, the one about this parents’ tragedy. But he’s still looking. He didn’t leave heaven cuz he was looking specifically for John and Mary, he left the second he say Baby with no clear objective but the knowledge that he had to go. He found some meaning in his restlessness by looking for a version of his folks where they’re happy, but that’s just part of it. And you can see it by how he responds to Bobby in the beginning, how he talks to Jack here at the end. He isn’t done. 

-“They’re family” is one of my favorite moments in this finale tbh. Because not only does he say this explicitly, he does so after introducing them by name. Which brings us back to what I was saying about Sam. In choosing to not name Sam to the gang, but explicitly naming Jack and Bobby who are Dean’s chosen family, it narratively sends a message that goes in direct opposition to what 15x20 was pushing. And to be clear, we do get Sam mentioned by name too, because Sam isn’t important to Dean just because he’s blood related to him, Sam is just as much part of Dean’s chosen family, but Sam is mentioned to Jack and Bobby, who, like us the audience, already know this information about Sam’s importance as opposed to Jack and Bobby who (and I am aware we the audience is aware of their importance too) are representative of all the other chosen family that gets pushed aside in 15x20 in favor of the blood relations. Sam here is important because of what he as a person means too the 3 of them, not because he’s Dean’s blood relative, but it does bare repeating that Jack and Bobby, not blood relatives, occupy the same level of importance in Dean’s life. This went so far in patching up some of the bullshit 15x20 peddled imo. I love it.

-I do gotta say I still think Jack was changed by the god power and I still don’t like it. Chuck won theory or not, Jack is visibly acting different from what we’ve become used to in SPN and that is a sadness I cannot begin to explain to me. He also deserved to live his life free of all this responsibility thrust upon him since he was conceived.

-Oh, I am so emotional about Dean imparting his journal to John and the Colt to Mary. I was mentioning earlier about legacy and history and this is exactly the part that contributes to that discussion. John, the MOL legacy gets the journal - the theoretical help more or less, especially with Dean’s journal having focused, as opposed to SPN!John’s very practical entries, on the emotional and mental side of hunting and how to handle all that hunting will throw at you. And Mary, the Hunter legacy gets the gun - the practical help, but even here, having the Colt be one of the only guns in the series makes it stand out without you needing to know the full significance of it being the Colt, and moreso, Dean is giving it as a protective measure as we the audience know it’s the only thing that can kill the yellow eyes demons. More than that, he is also actively healing with these both of the trauma’s SPN!John and SPN!Mary impart to him - with John the emotional absence and with Mary the physical absence while still helping these versions of them John with his still existing anger issues and Mary, as she’s navigating this no-hunting life, having the means to ensure she survives it. And on top of this, he is reclaiming the legacy/history of SPN!John’s journal and SPN!Mary’s death this way. I love everything about this choice.

-Now the ending scene. 1. The fact that we full on get to see that Ada will eventually be fine, adore it! 2. The reference to the famous beach episode wth, unmatched joy about it. 3. Mary and John actually compromising and finding a way to meet in the middle with everything? Fantastic. 4. Millie letting John go easily? Such a departure from the acidic words she’d thrown his way at the beginning of the show. 5. Samuel actually letting Mary know he’s going and saying he’ll keep in contact? Same vibes as Millie, love to see it. 6. Mary’s iconic baby blue car? I have missed it so much!

-And now, Ramble On closes us off and what a fantastic choice that they got it. It truly is the perfect song for this story. Because it makes it clear that this isn’t an ending. It’s a moving on to something else once you’ve finished whatever/wherever you were at. Dean’s story here has come to a close but he’s moving on to something else, he’s still behind Baby’s wheel searching. John and Mary’s story has ended for now, especially this chapter that had interference after interference from on high (Chuck’s especially via the Akrida and then Dean’s trying to clean up Chuck’s mess) and they can move on both from Lawrence geographically and from this predetermination that said interference was pushing via calling back to SPN as much as it was, now they can live their own lives, like Mary said, she saw every possible version of her and chooses to make her own path instead. (I do wonder what Dean saw, he was there much longer than her). So yea, the story has ended and the story goes on. Perfect choice for song closer.

-EDIT: I forgot to add about the title... oops! Basically, it's kinda tied to what I was saying about the song choice as well aka it's not an ending so it's not a goodbye per se. Something you have echoed actually by Mary and John twice in the episode. And it works as a pushback toward 15x20.

And so I am done too and figuring out what I’m moving on to! I’m sure there are still things that I can come up with to say about this show, and probably will continue to for a long while yet, but the reviews are done now and I’ve said most everything I wanted most to say so til I get something else I feel like mentioning, see y’all in the reblogs! Hope this was fun for you and I deeply appreciate all those who have been patient and stuck around to hear my opinion on this. Bye bye!

@shallowseeker, @noybusiness,@inspnity17, @pleaseraisemefromperdition, @doctorprofessorsong

[john-bitchester]

Supernatural 06×17, my heart will go on

OMG WILL WE GET JO AND ELLEN

I looove jo

Oh my god please tell me it's a bad luck episode

Dude, beheading the guy and then showing his twitching body is so extra

I love it

Hahaha love how Sam and Dean are literally acting like little kids like 'you go and help papa' 'no you go and comfort him' 'no you'

NOT THE ROCK PAPER SCISSORS OVER WHO HAS TO TALK TO PAPA ABOUT HOW THEY TORTURED HIMM LOLOLOL

This is the face of a man who tactically always loses at rock paper scissors so he can use not-rock when it really matters

This scene is soo married couple smack talking after the family gathering

ELLEN???? WTFF

DID I MISS SOMETHING????

MARRIED?????

WHAT UNIVERSE IS THIS?????

People don't choke that quick

A DEATH NOTE

WHY ARE NONE OF THEM CONFUSED ABT THE FACT THAT ELLEN IS BACK????

I am watching the right episode right????

Wtff

THE TITANIC??? NEVER HEARD OF IT????

What

What in the AU is going on

*almost* hit an iceberg

Oh my god it is going to be one of those butterfly messed with the timeline/order of universes thing

BECAUSE I HATE THE MOVIE AND CELINE DION

Balthasar I love you

I KNEW IT WAS THE WRONG CAR

I mean I didn't bc I don't know cars that well, so I didn’t comment on it

But my brain deffo went 'that doesn't look like the impala'

[The guy on the advert just got killed by the bus the advert is attached to, Dean points at the ad, jokingly]

"Too soon?" - "Yeah dean, I'm prett sure six seconds is too soon"

Theyre so abnormal i love them

This season really is just all over the place huh

I find it a fun detail that Bobby is actually clean now that he's with ellen

Clean cap, face and clothes

And his house has less of the grimey filter

A moment of your time for Sams face

He really said 😖

OH MY GOD ITS GETTING TASTY

CALL CASTIEL OUT FATE LADY

I NEED TO KNOW HIS DEAL

I also just remembered that Death gave Dean a warning, something to look out for

And I dont think theyve looked into that at all

Bro theyre really playing with me feet

Bring jo and ellen back

Keep em dead

So they canonically take naps together

Neither of them find it weird to wake up napping in the impala together, even tho theyre at bobbies where they get beds and sofas

The acting is so good

The moment dean realises what that means for ellen and jo

Its just the tiniest movement

And yet its so big

No stop

Dean putting the blanket over bobby got me crying

It also makes me think how often they had this convo abt john

[S: should we wake him? - D: no. That's propably the best he's felt all week]

You cannot tell me that Sam hasn't seen Dean do this a million times before

But to John, knocked out after a hunt, after too much whisky