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winchester-purgatory · 3 years

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My brother’s best friend | Dean Winchester (part 1)

Summary: Dean visits his brother in Palo Alto...and fall for the redhead crashing in Sam’s bed

Word count: 1.8k

Palo Alto, California 2004

''Are you kidding me?'' Sam grumbled as he checked through the peephole of his small apartment, seeing his big brother on the other side.

It was rare - very, very rare - that Dean would visit him. He'd rather vagabond from states to states in his precious Impala than visit his little brother who was in college, getting a degree, aka doing something of his life.

The only times he'd visit was if something happened to their dad - or when he needed something. Nine times out of ten, it was the latter.

Although they had been raised by the same man, the two brothers were very different. Their lifestyle, by example, was polar opposite. Sam was pursuing law studies and planned on become a criminal lawyer while Dean prefered to jump from states to states - or, in Sam's words, from bed to bed - without ever settling. He was also a walking trouble, always getting himself tangled in some messy crap.

When they were kids, their uncle Bobby used to joke and said that Sam would help Dean get out of jail one day. He couldn't be closer to the truth.

Reluctantly, Sam unlocked and opened the door, skipping the greetings. ''What are you doing here?'' he hissed at his brother, keeping the door as closed as possible - and blocked - so Dean wouldn't peek inside or simply invite himself in.

''Hello to you too, Sammy.''

''What do you want?'' Sam demanded.

''Who said I needed something? Can't I miss my little brother?''

If Sam hadn't known his brother so well, he would've believed him. But, this was Dean.

''It's almost midnight and I have class at eight, Dean. I don't have time for placotage. What is it this time? Your girlfriend dumped you? You're out of money? Whichever, I can't do anything. I'm just as broke as you.''

He wasn't always this intolerant, but school had been stressful these past weeks and the younger Winchester was running on short nights and large coffees from all his hard studying. Therefore, he wasn't in the mood to deal with Dean's bullshit.

Dean rolled his eyes. ''I'm not here for money. I just need a place to crash. I was at this car expo with some guys from the auto shop I work at and, instead of spending a handful on a shitty motel, I thought of you and your old couch.''

Auto shop? Last time they spoke, he was working night shifts at a 7/11. That's an upgrade, Sam noted.

''Nice of you to think of me, but you can't stay here. I...I sold the couch. And, I have to study for-''

I sold the couch? Try again Sammy.

Not letting the brunet finish, Dean ignored him and pushed the door wider, walking in as if it was his place.

He glanced around the small apartement, the office lamp on the desk creating a dim light throughout the whole place. Like Dean remembered, the appartement was cramped. You could barely fit any furnitures beside a couch, a desk and a bed. It was a college student appartement, you can't expect too much. He immediately remarked the laptop set up on the desk with a pile of papers ant textbooks, mimicking the same set up Sam had in his old bedroom.

''Dean, I said-''

Panic rose inside Sam, whirling around and trying to push the blond out of his apartment, but it was too late. He had seen her. The fire haired girl sleeping peacefully in Sam's bed.

A smirk formed on the older's lips, turning his head in Sam's direction. ''Is that what you were trying to hide from me? From Dad? That you had a girlfriend? Oh Sammy. Always been shy about that stuff...''

Sam closed the door and sighed. ''She's not my girlfriend. And, keep it down, will you?''

Dean cocked an eyebrow. ''Why is she sleeping in your bed then, uh?'' He shook his head, smirking, convinced that he had demasked his brother. ''You know, Sammy, you've never been the master liar between the two of us. Is that why you ignored Dad's calls? Because you were too busy-''

''Dean,'' Sam hissed, narrowing his eyes in warning, not letting him time to finish his sentence.

He knew how filter-less his brother was and, even though the redhead was sleeping soundly, Sam would rather not risk her waking up to some dude she didn't know was insinuating events that never happened between she and Sam. That would be creepy and awkward.

Dean rolled his eyes. ''Right. I forgot how much of a prude you are.''

''She's a friend,'' Sam insisted, sighing with tiredness. ''She got into a bad argument with her boyfriend and needed a safe place to stay.''

''And you're trying to make me believe nothing happened under the sheets?'' Dean sank into Sam's couch and shook his head disapprovingly. ''You're such a let down, Sammy... How can you let a hot girl crash in your bed and pass the opportunity for a good time?''

''Because, unlike you, I think with my brain instead of my dick. She needed a roof, Dean, not a new dick.''

Dean smirked. ''Look where that got you.''

Like always, Dean got what he wanted and crashed at Sam's.

Well, he 'accidently' fell asleep on the couch while his brother was studying, giving Sam no choice but to let him sleep after trying times and times to wake him unsuccessfully.

The sound of glass clashing and shattering pulled Dean from his sleep. He sat up, a bit startled by the noise, and squinted his eyes at the harsh morning light shining straight in his eyes. Does Sam not have blinds or something?

''Shit,'' slipped a feminine voice.

Dean rubbed his eyes, adjusting to the change of light and glanced around, catching the redhead from last night standing at the 'kitchen' area of Sam's appartement. She was wearing one of Sam's old tee shirt, her long hair cascading down her back. Dean bit down him bottom lip.

''Everything okay?'' he asked, trying to see what happened.

''Yes!'' responded a feminine voice. ''I just dropped and broke a plate. It's nothing.'' She bent down to clean her mess, using a towel to pick up the broken pieces.

Humming, Dean stretched his arms over his head, his back aching from Sam's raggedy couch, and stood. He should get a new one, this one sucks.

''Sorry for waking you,'' she apologized, running a hand through her hair, tucking a piece behind her ear in slight embarassement. ''I was trying to make coffee and...I don't know how it happened.''

''Apologies accepted if you tell me there's coffee left,'' Dean bargained with a sly grin.

The redhead stood and nodded at the coffee machine before throwing the broken pieces of plate in the trash. ''Lucky for you, there's enough left for a cup.''

Picking up a cup from Sam's perfectly neat cupboard, the blond poured the last of coffee, not bothering to rinse the empty carafe. Sam will get on his back about it next time he'll use it, but it's not like Dean cared.

''I'm Juliet,'' the girl introduced, taking a seat in the desk chair as there wasn't any barstools or dinning table - not that there was any room for one. ''And you're Dean, Sam's brother.''

Dean furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. How did she know his name? He opened his mouth to ask, but she beat him.

''Sam left a note.'' She nodded at the sticky post-it on the top of the coffee maker.

Left for class. This is my brother, Dean. Don't hesitate to kick him out if he gives you trouble.

- Sam

Reading said note, Dean scoffed.

''I take it you're not on on Sam's good side,'' Juliet assumed, smiling behind her mug.

He shrugged, leaning against the small counter. ''Typical brothers.'' Dean took a long gulp of his black coffee, sighing at the burning feeling of the biter liquid as it passed through his throat. ''Sam and I are very different. Polar opposites, I'd say.''

Juliet looked him up and down and hummed affirmatively. ''I can see.''

At first glance, you wouldn't be able to tell they were brothers. Other than having very different facial features, their style was also contrasting. Although it remained along the lumberjack vibes - thanks to their father -, Dean was all about his fetish leather jacket and flannels while Sam was more of a polo and zip up hoodies person.

A phone went off, interrupting their small talk and Juliet checked the screen, knowing it was hers. She looked at the caller ID, face turning blank as she read the identifier. She let it ring.

''You don't pick up?''

She shook her head, biting her bottom lip, lowering her eyes on her bare thighs.

Dean didn't mean to pry, but he might have seen a guy's name on the screen. If he sticks to what Sam had told him last night, it must be her boyfriend - whom she got into a fight with.

''Want me to pick up?'' he suggested, lightening the mood, mild-joking.

''What?'' Juliet chuckled. ''No. I...I'll call him back later.''

Cocking an eyebrow, Dean gave her a look. ''Lie.''

Her blue eyes looked up and caught his green irises, holding an unsaid staring contest. As Dean stared into her eyes, he felt as if he could see through her like open doors. He could see how utterly unhappy she felt in all aspects of her life and it pulled at his heart.

Instead of admitting defeat, Juliet broke their stare and abruptly rose from her seat. ''Not that I don't like this morning chatter, but I have to get ready for work. My boss is going to have my head if I arrive late during lunch rush.''

It was almost eleven and, if she ran fast, she had a chance to get there in time.

She put her empty mug on the counter and skipped to the bed, retrieving some bundled clothes from a backpack at the end of Sam's bed.

''You work at a restaurant?''

''A diner,'' she corrected, fulmining though the bag for one more item before heading to the bathroom to change.

''Do you happen to serve pie at your diner?'' Dean asked, feeling hungry.

Knowing his Sam, he probably only had healthy snacks in his mini fridge and Dean was not about that life. He'll only eat lettuce when it's served with bacon and cheese...in a burger.

Peeking her head from the bathroom's door frame, Juliet flashed him a grin. ''Sure do.''

Just like that, Dean ended up sitting at some old fashioned diner's counter, eating a cherry pie with a scoop of ice cream, as recommended by the waitress.

''We don't usually serve it like that, but I'll make an exception for you,'' Juliet said, deposing the plate on the counter, right in front of Dean. ''After all, you saved me from getting fired.''

Dean smiled and thanked her before diving into the cherry goodness. God, he loves pie!

#dean winchester #dean winchester fic #reader x dean winchester #dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #supernatural fic #this has been in my drafts for so long #it's the prequel of my christmas fic #I havent reread it

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adamwatchesmovies · 2 years

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Brazil (1985)

The first time I saw Brazil, I wasn't quite sure what to make of it. The brilliance of the visuals was obvious but I wasn’t sure if it was a film I'd ever return to. Watching it again, it's grown on me. I have tremendous admiration for this picture.

Sam Lowry (Jonathan Pryce) is an unambitious government employee who daydreams of heroics and love. In a world ruled by paperwork, suspicion is the norm and nothing appears to work properly. The air is pregnant with a mix of apathy and fear as everyone is desperate not to be blamed for a clerical error that has resulted in the arrest of Archibald Buttle (Brian Miller). When Sam tries to rectify the mistake, it sends him on an unexpected path.

Brazil features a unique vision of a dystopia. This is writer/director Terry Gilliam's nightmare. It’s an Earth where everyone is working at an office. Nobody really knows what they’re doing and when they're confronted with a problem, they panic. People run around like chickens with their heads chopped off until they realize they can simply forward it to another department. In the bureaucracy's attempt to cut costs and fix what no one but them believed to be broken, they've created an endless maze of forms and references from which there is no escape. The brilliance of it is that the world of Brazil is scary, but also hilariously inefficient and broken.

The production is first-rate. It’s a beautiful picture to simply look at. The visuals are striking and varied. In a lot of dystopian tales, everything is dull and gray. Here, we get some nice little twists on that idea and the bland palette is broken up with the breathtaking dream sequences. Far from weird for weirdness’ sake, they enhance the mood. If there's a 1984-style future where the little guy might stand a chance without it feeling like a pollyanna fantasy, it's this film. For each character that causes goosebumps, there’s a nut that will make you think that maybe, just maybe, things’ll be ok at the end. It all works because of the love story. If we didn’t have the dream girl (played by Kim Greist), you wouldn’t truly believe Sam’s character and the ending wouldn’t have the impact that it does. This movie is about a lot of things. The madness that’s inherent in oversized offices, the inefficiency of big systems, escape through imagination, and more - just waiting to be discovered.

Brazil contains magnificent performances. Jonathan Pryce - in particular - stands out. He sells you as an everyman in a crazy world and when he gets swept up in this story, it’s that much more of a nail-biter. You instantly sympathize with the guy. Originally, the film's U.S. release was supposed to run much shorter and would've featured an ending that was the tonal opposite of the one we got. I can’t imagine it working. Brazil ends on the perfect note. It is a bit long in the tooth during the middle, sometimes a little excessively weird but that’s ok. If you don’t know what to make of it at first, give it some time and revisit it later. I know that sounds like homework. It’s not. This is just one of those films that has so much going on you're likely to miss some of it the first time around. Brazil is just short of being perfect but in a way, that almost makes it more charming. (Director’s Cut on DVD, October 28, 2016)

#Brazil #movies #films #MovieReviews #FilmReviews #TerryGilliam #TomStoppard #CharlesMcKeown #JonathanPryce #RobertDeNiro #KatherineHelmond #IanHolm #BobHoskins #MichaelPalin #IanRichardson #PeterVaughan #KimGreist #1985movies #1985films

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miss-mollys-ballet-blog · 3 years

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Men’s All Around Final Thoughts

Commentary on the men’s AA

I really want the podium to be Dalaloyan, Nigornyy, Ruoteng. I have a feeling it will not work out in that order.

JOE FRASER IS IN THE TOP ROTATION??! THAT’S AMAZING!!!! How wild would it be if he pulled off a miracle and got on the podium...

Dear John Roethlisberger, it is Ukraine, not THE Ukraine. Please get it right.

NICE JOE, THAT WAS A BEAUTIFUL FLOOR!!!! WE LOVE TO SEE IT!!

Xiao’s twist at the end is so stunning. Just...absolutely beautiful.

ALL RIGHT BRODY, AMAZING POMMELS. YESSSS.

All I want is Nigornyy’s triple pike. Please let us have it in the floor final.

I do really miss Kenzo’s happy and bright smiling face and energy. He made everyone smile!

In case anyone was wondering, James Hall is still a precious cupcake.

I love when the men go up into handstands so smoothly during their pommel routines, it makes it so much more interesting. Sun Wei does it twice before his dismount and it’s stunning.

Nigornyy’s ability to “rescue” his routines, i.e. think on his feet to correct things, is amazing.

Daiki Hashimoto’s flairs are beautiful, but I wish he would point his toes during them. But that is also nitpicking to the extreme from a girl scared of cartwheels who is watching while eating popcorn so like, don’t listen to me.

DaLaLoYaN iS nOt WhErE hE eXpEcTeD tO bEeEeEeeee. Homeboy is competing 3 months after he tore his Achilles and has done each event TWICE ALREADY. SO HE IS DOING PRETTY DAMNED GOOD AND DESERVES ALL THE MEDALS IN THE WORLD.

So sad for Joe :(

Xiao’s swing flips into the cross on rings was flawless oh my goodness. I couldn’t even pull myself up onto the rings, let alone anywhere near that.

I love Nigornyy’s dismount from rings. He freaking flies, it’s wild.

Why does Hashimoto’s face look like he’s just sitting and chillin while doing rings? It’s wild.

I love Artur’s rings, I love Artur’s floor, I love Artur’s pommels, I love Artur’s vault, I love Artur’s parallel bars, and I love Artur’s high bar. He is an absolute gem and one of the absolute best in the world.

YES STUCK DRAGALESCU FOR NIKITAAAA WOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

“I’m not quite sure why the man who had Achilles surgery 3 months ago and has done the all around twice already didn’t have the best landing on one of the events that can do the most damage to your ankles and knees”.

I WONDER THE FUCK WHY BRIDGET AND JOHN. I WONDER WHY.

I find the shoes that the Chinese gymnasts wear during vault so adorable and I don’t know why.

All I really want is for Sam to get an Olympic medal. Just one.

Oh Brody, this parallel bars is not going right for you and it makes me sad, but you’re still amazing and should feel amazing about yourself.

Hashimoto’s parallel bars oh my word. Oh. My. Word. That was beautiful.

ARTUR, YOUR PARALLEL BARS WERE STUNNING AND BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT AND AMAZING PERFECT 10. I LOVE YOU BBYYYYY.

Sun Wei baby, I hope your wrist is okay :/ Your p-bars were beautiful :)

Yesss Xiao, yesssss!!! Love your p-bars and it’s gotta be enough for you to keep the lead.

We love Nigornyy’s p-bars too, especially his one bar stuff; absolutely gorgeous. Everyone is doing so freaking well on p-bars and honestly there are still so many questions and it’s all up in the air and a gigantic nail biter!

James Hall’s landings were all flawless in his floor!!! Amazing job in the all around, love you!

THAT WAS ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS AND FLAWLESS AND FANTASTIC AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DARLING ARTUR!!! AMAZING HIGH BAR TO CAP OFF YOUR AMAZING ALL AROUND!!!!

JOE MOTHERFREAKING FRASER WHAT WAS THAT HIGH BAR ROUTINE OH MY GODDDD. FANTASTIC!!!!

Sun Wei’s one arm pirouette on high bar is gorgeoussss

YES STUCK LANDING XIAO, STUCK FREAKING LANDING TO CAP OFF AN AMAZING HIGH BAR ROUTINE AND AN EVEN BETTER ALL AROUND DAY OMGGGGG.

Oh Nikita, that is not going to be enough to win, BUT there’s no way you don’t medal and you’ve already done so well bby.

CONGRATULATIONS DAIKI HASHIMOTO!!!!!!!

#gymnastics #men's gymnastics #olympics #tokyo 2020 #artur dalaloyan #nikita nigornyy #joe fraser #xiao ruoteng #John Roethlisberger #ukraine #brody malone #kenzo shirai #james hall #sun wei #daiki hashimoto #sam mikulak

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mikenewtonhateblog · 4 years

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My oc’s aka too long of a gd post

The “BL” Crew (does not stand for boys love I’m just a moron who made that abbreviation before knowing what it stands for). My main crew and main series, a lot is a big WIP right now as I’m slowly redoing the first book and all the lore. Why? I love torture. Book is fantasy type but I won’t specify what.

Lacie, the protagonist. God tier idiot, bisexual bipolar depressed MESS, insomniac, former theater kid, doesn’t know what she wants out of life but currently it is not This(plot of book). Hot headed, impulsive, crude, rude, Mommy IssuesTM, would rather be taking a nap right now, rules are made to be broken, absolutely fucking FERAL, more bags under her eyes than the airport lost and found. 5’5, 130lbs, Aries, age 18, white as shit like literally the whitest human you have ever seen, strawberry blonde hair in a 2011 Hayley Willaims haircut with long bangs, the darkest brown eyes you’ve ever seen that stare directly into your soul. Lanky, no curves, body of a 12 year old boy but works out so she can and will kick your ass and thats a threat. Not human?

Josh. Soft boy, smart, Lacie’s cousin and only friend for like the first 18 years of her life, autistic anxious mess who’s special interest is anchient egyptian history, is in honors classes, despises math, passes out when his girlfriend looks too cute, just needs a hug. Can eat a whole carton of easy mac if left alone, whole wardobe is the same outfit just different colors/hoodies, sensory issues, seriously can someone give this guy a hug. 5’9, 150lbs, Pisces, age 18, mixed (half whatever flavor of white Lacie’s family is [they don’t even know its just some scandanavian shit and irish], and half mexican on his mom’s side), medium olive skin with freckles and moles, dark chocolate brown hair that’s a bit of a 2009 Beiber cut, warm brown eyes, not beefy, a lil thicc and self concious about it but squishy boys are GOOD. Gets bit by a werewolf so now he is one his mood on it is “thats a lot to unpack but let’s just throw the whole suitcase away”.

Zander. There is not one braincell in this man, himbo KING, pansexual dumbass with undiagnosed ADHD, no impulse control, head empty and full at the same time, PTSD, his fashion sense should be an actual crime, gets in fights to feel something, basic requirements for him to be attracted to you: kick his ass. Drinks his respect women juice, sees a folding table and must immediately launch himself on it, chaotic, cannot drive a car and will not, food aggression and eats enough for 3 people but never gains weight which is ILLEGAL, him and Lacie may be a couple.....but in this house we stan slow burn, he talks in caps and every sentence either ends with a question mark or exclaimation point, likes romcoms. 6’2, 190lbs, Sagittarius, age 19, austrailian roots and has the accent but is from [REDACTED FOR STORY REASONS], white, dorito shaped with long legs, blueish black hair that’s long and messy, dark navy eyes that match his hair, bigass neck scar from [REDACTED]. Not human

Peter. Gay dad friend who is TIRED of having to be in charge of a bunch of teenagers, only one with full functioning braincells, lowkey a genius who loves engineering, mixes magical technology with human technology because he likes to play god, is he ever sober? No one knows, will kill for a bottle of single malt, his fashion sense? Tastefully expensive suits perfectly tailored. Likes building his own weapons that no one else knows how to even use, generally non-threatening but can get scary if needed. 6’4, 140lbs string bean man, Scorpio, age 179 but looks early 30s, I know I said Lacie is the whitest human but he’s even paler like a literal sheet of paper with scandanavian roots/ancestors were vikings or some shit, blonde hair styled like 2013 Brendon Urie lmfao, light crystal blue eyes. He’s a vampire and was born one.

Danielle. Tiny, sweet, queen of girls supporting girls, comments on all her friends instagram posts with 20 emojis, LOVES fashion and has a wardrobe that would make anyone jealous, oozes feminine energy, only child and parents are in love still, gets exactly 8 hours of sleep each night and wakes up looking like a disney princess. Just because she is small and cute doesn’t mean you should underestimate her she WILL fuck your shit up. Quiet when angey which is terrifying. Josh is her bf and she loves him so much but also loves teashing the shit out of him. Legally cannot cuss, polite, used her high heels as a weapon once, speaks like 5 languages because studying them is her hobby, gardens, hugs everyone. 5’0, 110, Taurus, age 18, mixed (half french-american, half Korean-american), glowy skin always, PETITE frame aka the friend everyone can pick up when they hug, long past her waist curly brown hair, bright green eyes. She’s not fully human as she has fae blood in her and this gives her the ability to talk to and control plants. Flower crowns for everyone

Becca. Theater kid who would die to sing in Wicked and has the vocal range to do so, cannot wait to graduate and go to her dream college which she got into and a scholarship, closeted lesbian bc her whole giant family is extremely catholic and she feels like not dealing with it, “no boys allowed in bedroom” rule is her favorite joke, chill, middle child of 5 siblings and just wants some peace and quiet for ONCE. Her fashion sense is “I’m dropping subtle hints I’m gay but only to other gays”, has a black belt and took self defense classes. 5’6, 145lbs, Virgo, age 18, Latina (cuban and mexican mix), darker brown skin with light freckles over her nose, athletic build, eyebrows on POINT, bright caramel eyes, short light brown hair cut in a bob, has a tiny nose stud, always wears a blue friendship bracelet her gf made her. Human

Anika. Calling her a bitch/slut is a compliment, bisexual, a bit of a mean girl but she grows out of it give her time!!! Is always Too Much, the horny friend, favorite color is red so thats almost all of her outfits, loves to show off her body as much as she can because she’s hot and knows it and thrives in her own confidence. Her mom is literally like Regina George’s mom from Mean Girls but married a rich man 20 years older than her, Anika doesn’t know her bio dad but thats fine neither does her mom and her step dad is nice and does his best to be a dad. Becca’s gf, always hanging out at her home so Becca can get some quiet because Anika’s an only child and has a pool. 5’9, 135lbs, Gemini, age 18, white, long layered dark reddish brown hair, teal-blue eyes, swimmers body type (I normally do not mention bust size but she would want the internet to know she was blessed with big bahoogles so there you go), can sprint in heels. Half mermaid (boy was that a surprise considering her mom doesn’t know who her father is LOL)

Rex. Nb uses they/them he/him pronouns but honestly will respond to any, goth lite, only attracted to men and ace, can read minds so knows all your secrets, mischevious little shit, great friends with Zander and enjoys his dumbass thoughts and that he’s basically a human version of Jackass, wears too many rings, goth boots for kicking and fashion babey, always has the freshest memes and will not hesitate to roast in the group chat, hangs with the girls most of the time. Chaos god who loves making art, be gay do crime, skateboard and spraypaint. 5’8”, 165lbs, Leo, age 18, Native American, masculine frame, dark brown skin, blue eyes, firetruck red shoulder length hair that’s usually in a ponytail, knock-off gucci sunglasses just for judging their friends. Has magic in their blood so not entirely human and can cast spells and shit (don’t roast me its a wip and I’m doing my research)

Sam. Boho goddess, aromantic, makeup and nails are always instagram worthy, quiet and stoic type but losens up around close friends, Rex is her best friend, has some trauma and doesn’t want to talk about it, emotionally numbed out a bit and wants to purely vibe. Has seen some of the worst parts of humanity and wishes she hadn’t, finds no point in being bitter or resentful though because that won’t change anything, loves cats and once she moves out shes adopting one or three. Has wine aunt energy. 5’4, 200lbs PLUS SIZE QUEEN, Scorpio, age 18, Filipino (her parents are immigrants fun fact!), really olive skin sometimes has a grey/green tinge to it, dark brown almost black shoulder length hair, gold-hazel eyes. Sam’s the victim of a family curse that requires her to consume human hearts to survive, she can transform into a pretty scary looking being and uses this curse to hunt down pedoph*les, r*pists, murderers, and abusers. The less often she feeds the less human she looks, hence the constant grey/green tinge to her skin.

Andy. Baby of the group, must be protected at all costs, 100% didn’t sign up to be in a friendgroup of 90% monsters but highkey loves it, trans, bi, anxiety MAXED, just wants to draw comics and cosplay spiderman, has to babysit his two younger sisters a lot because his parents are....not great, and as a result now knows all the lines to Tangled and The Little Mermaid. Big nerd energy, has to draw on everything including homework, gets inspiration for comics from his friends, awkward and socially anxious, drinks way too much tea and will accidentally steal your pens. Fears include: crowds, thunder, tall angry men, tiny spaces. Just trying his best. 5’2, 100lbs BEANPOLE BOY, Leo, age 16, white (irish and scottish roots), freckles absolutely EVERYWHERE, orangey red hair thats in desperate need of a haircut, chocolate brown eyes, braces, chronic nail biter. Human and kinda wishes he wasn’t.

That’s it for now if you read all this bless u thank u here is my whole heart. Please no discourse, literally these are fictional people I’ll never publish the books they go to.

#no i am not looking for critiques on them #i get my critiques elsewhere lmao #my ocs

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lions-and-dandelions · 4 years

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Next up on my ACOK reread...

1. dany chapter number one!

2. feeling very sorry for her khalasar :( and the horses :(

3. love the bit where jorah tells dany about lynesse! i reckon so much of his feelings for dany come from the fact that she looks like lynesse.

4. “Do you hate her?” “Almost as much as I love her.”

5. Why couldn’t jorah and dany’s relationship have stayed the way it was in AGOT though???

6. second (?) jon chapter. jon is still in many ways the same little castle-raised snob he was at the beginning of AGOT. “You’d call that a bed?”

7. Sam being a babe as always

8. people talk about the parallels between jon and dany’s storylines and it’s particularly evident in these two chapters- they’re both in deserted villages/cities in the middle of the wilderness, filled with bones, and with little to eat in the surrounding area.

9. arya’s next chapter (wow, she has a lot of chapters in ACOK. which isn’t a complaint! it makes sense as there’s a lot of content in her arc in this book.)

10. fuck you amory lorch.

11. arya screaming “winterfell!” whilst fighting...sweetling, you’re going to get found out.

12. also though, can we appreciate the perfection that is arya and hot pie killing a man together, arya screaming “winterfell!” and hot pie screaming “hot pie!”

13. arya being determined not to leave the little girl behind during the battle, she’s got such a big heart <3

14. catch me feeling more sorry for the horses and donkeys stuck in the burning barn than biter and rorge.

15. another tyrion chapter, and as always i love getting to read all his unspoken thoughts during his conversations with cersei!

16. can we appreciate how disgusting it is, these grown adults in positions of power sitting around discussing how to spread lies about a little girl’s parentage?! fuck them.

17. also who is this trade envoy from lys who made a joke comparing shireen to dragonstone’s gargoyles? because i need to fight him.

18. cersei and petyr flirting is the best!

19. pod is here! love my boy :)

20. dear god bronn don’t put ideas into tyrion’s head about joff and whores, please...

21. tyrion still thinks about tysha so much, god these two make me sad

22. chataya and alayaya are babes we stan <3

23. love varys and tyrion’s convos.

More coming soon!

#holly rereads acok

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allthings-fantasy · 5 years

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See You Again - Part Eight

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2521

Warning: nothing really, lil bit of angst, lil bit of fluff (if you squint)

Author Notes: I am literally writing so many things write now my brain is going bonkers but I’m so happy to be writing again. Along with writing I posted last night how I am close to 700 followers and want to give back to you guys! I’ll link the post about that right below!

Previous Part All Parts 700 Followers Giveback

The hustle and bustle of work seemed to buzz by you. No matter what you did you just weren’t able to focus on today. At two, Dean had texted you and asked if you were still good to meet him later. After that your mind was permanently somewhere else and the last hour of your shift dragged.

At exactly 3:00, your phone rang as you were pulling your duffel bag from your locker. Looking at the screen, your eyes rolled. “Yes, Jason?”

He chuckled from the other end. “I’m just giving you another chance to back out of this. You don’t have to feel obligated to go.” There was a twinge of hope in his voice, as if you were actually going to back out.

“Nice try, but I’m going through with this. Who knows, maybe this will be the closure we never got.” You shrugged even though he couldn’t see and moved to clock out. “I promise I will text you when I get there and call when I leave. Now I have to go if I’m going to make it on time.”

You quickly pushed Jason off the phone and shoved it into you pocket, walking out to the hospital’s parking lot. The drive to Mickey’s was just over fifteen minutes. You planned to use the extra time to fix yourself up a little bit, but a quick glance around the parking lot you noticed the Impala was already here. Pulling down the visor, you quickly ran your fingers through the messy parts of your locks and ran a finger under your eyes to collect any stray mascara.

“Well, here goes nothing,” you grumbled. Sending Jason a quick text message, you tossed your phone in your bag and headed for the front entrance. The bell rung above your head and your eyes scanned the small diner until you saw him. Dean was sitting in the back booth, large hands cupped around a mug that probably contained coffee.

He must’ve felt your eyes on him. Dean shifted in his seat and lifted his head, eyes connecting fully with yours. The emerald green twisted a knot somewhere deep in your stomach but you quickly brushed away the feeling. Chewing on your bottom lip, you gripped your purse strap tighter and made a beeline straight to the seat across from him.

You were ten minutes early and Dean’s mug was almost empty. Your brows furrowed. “How long have you been here?”

Dean chuckled and ran the tip of his index finger across the rim. “Honestly, I’ve been here for about forty minutes. Just kept pacing the motel room, so I thought I’d watch the clock here instead.” One of his shoulders lifted and you found a smile twitching at your lips.

“Motel? Wouldn’t happen to be the Blue Skies one, would it?” Your cheeks turned a shade darker as a few vivid memories flashed in your brain. It didn’t matter how old you were, you didn’t think you’d ever forget that weekend.

“Couldn’t come into town without visiting the old place.”

You opened your mouth to respond but was cut off by the sound of a waitress smacking her gum. “What can I get for ya?” Her voice was directed at you but she was only occasionally glancing in your direction.

The sound of you clearing your throat seemed to snap her out of her Dean-like trance. “Can I get a chocolate milkshake? With extra whipped cream… and a bacon cheeseburger, extra bacon. Oh! And a side of fries, thank you.” While the waitress, Krissy, seemed to pale at the amount of calories you just ordered, Dean looked at you like you hung the stars. Too bad your gaze was elsewhere and you missed it.

“I’ll have the same thing, but extra onions on mine too.” Dean gave her a small smile but kept his attention on you. You snickered at his order as Krissy walked off. “What?”

You leaned your elbows on the table, shrugging. “Always with the extra onions, not sure I have enough gum to combat the breath I’m about to endure.”

Dean snorted and pulled a pack of icy mint gum from his pocket. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. Gotcha covered.” He sent you a wink and tucked it back into his pants.

A strained silence fell over the two of you, both awkwardly fiddling with your fingers. “So um, you find anything solid on the case?” That was a good common ground to start on.

His brows furrowed at your question, taking a moment to consider his answer. “Not as much as we’d hope. The biter’s good, covers their tracks more than usual. Been tracking the attacks over the past couple counties. This is the first time the victim was left alive. Just trying to figure out where they’re camped.”

You nodded, genuinely interested in what he had to say. You always did like hearing him talk about hunting. It was fascinating to you, all of these creatures you only dreamed of were out there somewhere. “It’s funny… even after you uh, left, I still always kept an eye out for things here and there. Yanno, your kind of things.”

The mention of him leaving seemed to strike a nerve inside of Dean, his shoulders squared and spine straightened. “Yeah about tha-”

Dean was interrupted by Krissy setting the edge of her tray on the table and began passing out the various orders. You practically drooled at the milkshake in front of you. Quickly grabbing a fry, you scooped up some milkshake and popped the salty sugary treat into your mouth. Dean’s nose crinkled but he chuckled anyways. He never did understand why you did that. “So what were you saying?”

“Oh I just had a question.” Dean wiped the excess ketchup from the corner of his mouth and set the burger down. You arched your eyebrow waiting for him to continue. He looked so uncomfortable you almost told him to forget about it. “Sam and I have been here for a couple days now. And uh, I stopped at the store one of the days and you were there. I wanted to say something but you were with your boyfriend or husb-”

“I’m going to stop you right there.” You held up a hand, eyes wide with amusement and a loud laugh escaped your lips. Dean seemed confused by your laughter but you just couldn’t help it. The idea of you and Jason being married and having a kid was funny to you.

After you controlled your outburst, you wiped a stray tear from the corner of your eyes and let out a huff. “Okay um, do you remember Jason? From high school, my best friend?” Dean nodded and shoved three fries in his mouth. “That was him, not my boyfriend and definitely not my husband. “You giggled a little again. “Just my best friend.”

Dean’s shoulders seemed to relax a little after that. “And the little girl?”

“Addison is Jason’s daughter, while I’m not biologically her mother, I am the closest thing she has to one.” The oldest brother slouched back in his seat, the look of relief washing over his features. “What about you, Winchester? Any special woman manage to hold you down?”

You wanted to smack yourself for asking that, you didn’t even know which answer you preferred to hear. All you did know, was that your heart was pounding faster than it was two minutes ago. The corner of Dean’s lips turned up into a smirk. “Nah, no one was ever as special as you.”

His words were sweet, eyes kind and caring. It was exactly what got you attached to him in the first place. It was also what got your heart broken. You couldn’t allow yourself to feel that way again, not when he was only here for business, then off to the next case. Your smile faltered and head shook. “You don’t get to say things like that anymore, Dean.”

A flash of hurt crossed over his eyes but he quickly regained his composure. Running a hand across his jaw, he kept his eyes locked on you so intently it made you squirm. “Why can’t I?”

You scoffed around the chewed up burger and rolled your eyes. “I’m sorry, you’re right. I completely forgot that it wasn’t you who I fell in love with and then got my heart ripped from my chest that was the other Dean Winchester.” You finished with a sarcastic smile and took another bite, keeping your eyes cast downwards.

“Listen Y/N, what happened all those years ago wa-”

“Stop! I didn’t come here looking for excuses. I accepted what happened for what it was. I don’t need… anything from you.” You huffed, no longer feeling hungry. Your nose turned up and pushed your plate to the middle of the table. Jason was right, you should’ve just come home.

Dean shifted awkwardly in his seat, his knuckles turned white from clenching. The vein in his neck tensed as his jaw ticked. None of it was out of anger, simply panic. “Please, let me explain sweetheart.”

If your eyes rolled any harder they would’ve fallen from your head. Grabbing your purse, you rummaged until you found a twenty dollar bill and tossed it on the table. You had to get out of there, you could feel your throat contracting and a tear sting your eye. “I can’t, Dean.”

Dean’s POV

Lunch with Y/N was not going to plan. At all. All I had wanted to do was explain what happened all those years ago and get back in her good graces. But of course my big mouth wasn’t connected to my brain and I had to ruin it. Now I sat at the table with a slack jaw and watched as she dashed for the front door with tears in her eyes.

When my brain fully comprehended what I just witnessed my feet moved faster than I thought possible. I was thankful for her shaky hands when I found her fumbling to find her keys. “Y/N!” I yelled her name but he kept her head down, shaking it slightly.

A growl left my chest as I gently gripped her upper arm and turned her around. “Swe-” I sighed, quickly correcting myself. “Y/N, you gotta stop running for me. I’m not that young anymore I don’t know if I can keep up much longer.”

Her bottom lip quivered and I had to stop myself from tracing it with my thumb. She let out a sniffle and blinked hard. “I never asked you to chase me.”

The smile on my face was inevitable. Even with a runny nose and glassy eyes she was single handedly the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. “Can’t exactly leave you hanging now, can I?” One of my eyebrows rose in a teasing manner.

Y/N’s brow creased and bit at her bottom lip, continuing to shake her head. “You did it before.”

My eyes softened and I tried to convey every ounce of regret into my expression. “And I promise you that it was the biggest regret of my life.” Her walls seemed to crack but only barely. My hands slid down her arm to her wrist, carefully caressing it. I felt a hint of raised skin and my eyes immediately dropped. Nestled underneath the strap of her watch was a set of initials I knew all too well. I still had mine but I had no expectation of her keeping hers. “You still have it?”

Slowly, Y/N nodded and drew in a ragged breath. When my hand began to travel back up her arm, every muscle I passed over seemed to tense. But I didn’t stop. Her breathing changed when I reached the top of her shoulder and carefully moved to cup the side of her neck. I kept my eyes locked onto hers, watching for any sign of her wanting me to stop.

When I didn’t, my thumb pressed against the underside of her chin to tilt her head back slightly. Y/N molded against my touch, let me move her how I wanted it. The look on her face was intoxicating. Her eyes were hazy and hooded, lips parted slightly, cheeks tinted pink. I swallowed hard and cautiously dipped my head closer to hers.

I would be lying if I said my hands weren’t shaking. I couldn’t even hear my own breathing over the sound of blood rushing in my ears. My nose brushed against hers and I swore I heard the tiniest of whimpers come from her mouth.

There was no more than a breath between the two of us. I’ve dreamed of this moment for years. Finally having Y/N back in my arms, being able to taste the sweet taste of her mouth that I could barely remember anymore. One of her hands lifted to rest against the center of my chest. Damn her little hand was warm.

“Dean…” I felt her say my name more than I heard it. But if that little whisper didn’t make me weak in the knees I don’t know what would.

My fingers flex around her neck slightly, tracing the line of her jaw with the pad of my thumb. “What, sweetheart?” I felt her shiver at the pet name and it was hard not to smile at that. After all this time, I finally had her back where she belonged.

“I should go home.”

The words lingered in the air for a moment before I fully realized what she had said. It felt as if she dropped a bucket of ice down my back. Goosebumps rose on my skin and they weren’t the good kind. Looking in her in the eyes I realized she was serious and I took a step back, dropping my hand from her body.

Neither of us said anything for a moment, I couldn’t think of anything to say, I just kept on looking at her. Y/N shifted her weight between her feet and turned her attention back to her purse and pulled her car keys free. Turning to her door, she quickly unlocked it and moved to sit down. Before she could shut the door, my hand shot out and grabbed the edge of the door. “Wait!” Her fingers froze on the ignition and slowly turned her eyes in my direction. “Am I gonna see you again?” Her mouth opened and closed a few times. “Y/N, please.”

All she gave was one nod of her head. I wasn’t sure if I should believe it or not but what else was I supposed to do? Hold her here and demand she stay with me? Listen to me? Take me back? I gave her the best smile I was able to muster and let her close the door.

I stood in the parking lot for a few moments, watching as Y/N backed up and turned towards the road. There was nothing left for me to do but pray like hell I didn’t fuck everything up for the second time.

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#dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester #supernatural #spn #dean #supernatural fanfic #spn fanfic #fanfiction #supernatural blog #spn fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #dean fluff #dean x reader insert #see you again

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chicagoindiecritics · 5 years

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New from Jeff York on The Establishing Shot: TAIKA WAITITI’S “JOJO RABBIT” ILLUSTRATE THE INSANITY OF FASCISM THROUGH FARCE

The Twitterverse should stow its faux outrage over the new black comedy JOJO RABBIT. Making fun of the Nazis is hardly outrageous or even unprecedented by show biz standards. STALAG 17 did it all the way back in 1953, as did HOGAN’S HEROES in 1965, THE PRODUCERS in 1967, LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL in 1997, and INGLORIOUS BASTERDS in 2009. Director/writer Taika Waititi may indeed push the envelope even further in his adaptation of Christine Leunens’ equally dark comic prose, going so far as to play Adolf Hitler himself as a prancing buffoon, but the hilarity of his Fuhrer-driven farce is not the surprising part. What is remarkable is how moving the story is in Waititi’s capable hands. The gifted filmmaker earns ginormous laughs throughout for sure, but his tugs at our heartstrings are the truly bold and audacious achievements that resonate the most.

From the very get-go, Waititi plays big with the laughs and the poignancy. It’s a laugh-out-loud comedy and a moving drama, buttressed up against each other for maximum tension. Johanne “JoJo” Beltzer (Roman Griffin Davis) is a German 10-year-old trying to be a good fascist during the waning days of WWII. He idolizes Hitler so much and desires nothing more than to excel as a brown-shirted youth, that he imagines the Nazi head as his private coach, muse, and father figure.

Waititi is hilarious, playing Hitler as a big, gangly kid coaxing JoJo along, even though he’s cloddish and insecure. Despite his ambitions, JoJo fails to show his Nazi youth camp counselors his killer instinct when he chickens out when asked to kill a rabbit in cold blood. It’s the first truly serious moment of the film and it’s quite devastating. Waititi juxtaposes the farcical and the serious together like that, keeping us on the edge of our seats, never quite knowing if a scene will stay humorous, or veer into something more heartbreaking. For every laugh, there’s pathos, for every moment of silliness, there’s tragedy. And yet, it all holds together in tone as Waititi is showing the insanity of war, both the laughable and the horrible.

The serious underpinnings are readily apparent in all the scenes played in JoJo’s home. His mom Rosie (Scarlett Johansson) tries to raise her son as a single parent, and it’s a struggle. Her husband’s away at war, and JoJo is at that age where he starts to question everything and tend towards snideness. It doesn’t help matters that everyone is still reeling from losing teen daughter Inga to influenza.

Rosie is the man of the house for the time being and she keeps trying to shore up JoJo with positive advice, Cleverly, her clothing choices tend towards pants and men’s fedoras. She takes charge in every scene she’s in, without becoming tyrannical, yet JoJo doesn’t appreciate her nearly enough.

After JoJo gets injured at the Nazi youth camp, he’s forced to return home to convalesce. One day, while his mom is out on some sort of mysterious meeting that JoJo doesn’t understand, he investigates the strange creaking noises coming from upstairs in the house. Behind a wall, JoJo finds a secret room hiding Elsa Korr (Thomasin McKenzie), a teenage Jewish girl who was a classmate of Inga’s. Rosie has hidden her, and it makes JoJo angry to be deceived as such, but he agrees to shield Elsa if she performs a quid pro quo, revealing all of her “Jewish secrets” that JoJo wants to capture in his journal.

Of course, the two start to bond, and the ups and downs of their interactions are the core of the film. McKenzie wisely plays up Elsa’s bitterness, not letting JoJo get away with his ridiculous preconceptions about Jews. Even though JoJo still imagines Hitler filling his head with all sorts of lies about the Jewish people, JoJo starts to become educated in a way he didn’t expect. Rather than be trained as a good soldier, he starts to become a fair, open-minded, and compassionate German citizen.

Throughout the film, Waititi balances character comedy, like the banter between JoJo and Elsa, with the hard, ugly truths of the war. JoJo’s boss from the training camp, a closeted Nazi named Klenzendorf (Sam Rockwell) who can’t even be bothered to button up his uniform, may be a comically awful authority figure, but there’s sadness around his quippy edges. He keeps JoJo busy distributing flyers, but his bitterness over the regime and their slaughter is as obvious as his perennially unshaven face.

The director also cheekily casts Stephen Merchant as a Nazi official who drops in on JoJo and Elsa at home one day with a handful of other menacing party members. They interrogate the two, driving Elsa to masquerade as the deceased daughter of the house, and while Merchant gets a lot of laughs playing his overtly mannered fiend, the real threat of exposure makes the scene a stunning nail-biter.

Waititi does wonders with all of the production values, particularly the art direction and costumes, and all of his actors too. He reigns in Rebel Wilson as a Nazi secretary so she doesn’t step outside of her character and the story as she often does in her onscreen work. He gets a coy and smart performance from Johansson too, giving one of the year’s slyest supporting actress performances. But the true wonder here is how terrific Waititi excels with his younger cast. McKenzie continues to show that she’s one of the best talents of her generation with her nuanced performance, one of the year’s very best. Archie Yates plays JoJo’s best friend Yorkie, an even klutzier brown shirt than JoJo, and earns laughs every time he’s onscreen.

And in the title role of JoJo, one that requires him to be onscreen virtually the entire film, Davis is nothing short of a revelation. Few child performances have been as textured and expansive as his, and if the Academy Awards can get past his youth, he should be in the running for Best Actor this year. He never overacts, yet is droll, kind, somber, terrified – whatever the story needs. And he aces every second of it. This film is his and Waititi’s accomplishment.

When the tragedies start to build, it gets harder and harder to laugh, and that is what Waititi wants us to realize. Not for nothing does JoJo’s imaginary friend Hitler disappear from the movie for most of the third act. As the film moves towards its inevitable and moving conclusion, you may be shocked to realize how much you enjoyed and roared at such a tragic telling. Likely though, you’ll be even more amazed at how many lumps Waititi managed to place in your throat along the way.

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write-havoc · 6 years

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This Is How I Disappear Ch. 55

Summary: A girl named Chuck finds herself in the exact place she doesn't want to be, living with violent men in a desolate nursing home. After her former gym teacher finds her, will he be the savior she was looking for?

Fandom: The Walking Dead AU

Pairing: Negan/Original Female Character

Status: Ongoing

Contains: swearing, violence, sexual assault, blood, smut

Intended for readers 18+ of age only

Masterlist

Some time passes at The Sanctuary. After Negan and Chuck finally get back home, they get back to their normal lives. Though there are a few changes.

Negan orders extra guards to stay upstairs on the fifth floor. In addition to Sam and José, Arat and Laura are added to the rotation. José and Sam keep their same post on the stairwell while Arat and Laura cover the freight elevator on the other end of the hall, making it so there are always two guards on the floor at all times. That is, when Chuck is upstairs.

When Chuck is downstairs, the woman on duty follows her like a bodyguard. It annoys Chuck at first, but she understands why Negan asked them to do it. And Laura and Arat do their best to be unobtrusive, which Chuck appreciates. They stay just far enough away that Chuck has her space, but close enough that they could step in if need be.

Even though Negan is true to his word and doesn’t leave the gates, he still has to do his job around The Sanctuary everyday, which leaves Chuck completely alone upstairs. For the first time in her life, she actually doesn’t enjoy being by herself so much. She figures it probably has something to do with being locked up in that room at Eldritch’s compound, completely alone for most of the day. Or maybe it’s just that she’s changing to be more open to people. For the first few days back, she would walk the hall outside her and Negan’s apartment. She’d start at one end and talk to either José or Sam, then walk to the other end and talk to Laura or Arat, whoever was on duty. Then she’d turn around and do it all over again.

But that is still too claustrophobic. So instead, she starts to walk around The Sanctuary. For hours she would just walk and observe everyone around her. People would talk to her pleasantly, but they’d also fuss about her. Asking her if she’s okay, if she needs to eat or needs water, coming up to her with chairs so she can “rest”. She knows they mean well, but it’s still kind of annoying.

She visits with the former wives in all their different rooms, too. Sherry has taken to working in the kitchen full-time and living with Dwight. And Chuck admits that Sherry looks happier with him. Kayla and her boyfriend Felix have gotten more serious, so she decides to permanently move in with him. Though she still makes routine visits to Chuck to check up on her and the baby when she’s not on shift in the infirmary or checking on Amber, who is nearing the end of her pregnancy. Frankie and Tonya get their own room on the third floor, their relationship together more than official now. Tonya spends her days at her chair in the marketplace giving haircuts and Frankie has her massage table set up nearby. She tells Chuck that business is good; there are always people willing to spend their points to feel a little better.

Chuck decides that she needs something to actually do with her time, so she starts teaching the kids music again. When they seem so genuinely happy to have her back, Chuck swears that her heart swells. She enjoys teaching the children so much that she starts giving lessons in the afternoon to anyone that wants it, no matter the age. Some people that come in have absolutely no music experience, but some actually do. Class time is divided up into teaching those that need it and jamming out with those that can play.

That, too, fills Chuck’s heart with joy. They’re all in a place now where those little things, like music and art and fun , can come back. People aren’t just worried where the next meal is coming from. Or whether or not they’ll get attacked during the night. People are actually living.

Everyone is also enjoying the cemented alliance between the groups and the ease of passage between them. Negan and Rick have doubled down on fencing and barriers at the borders of the entire area, keeping the biters out. It’s not exactly free of the dead, but Negan’s domain is much safer than it once was.

The “dead zones”, as Negan calls them, are serving their purpose. The noise making devices that Eugene engineered are doing their job of drawing the dead into places that they can’t get out of, thus making the surrounding areas clear without any extra effort from Negan’s or Rick’s men. And once the temperature dips further, thus freezing the biters, all of them will be taken care of.

Because there are daily journeys between the groups, there is a freer exchange of goods and services. Alexandria has stopped needing support from The Sanctuary, so their relationship is based more on equal trade, just like everyone else. If someone at The Sanctuary needs metal goods, they trade for that with the blacksmith at Hilltop. If someone at Hilltop needs new clothes, the seamstress at Alexandria will oblige. And they all have unofficial areas that they scavenge from so there are always new goods to trade. Alexandria gets the north, Hilltop gets the west, and The Sanctuary gets the south and east.

Though Hilltop is still “owned” by Negan, it’s mostly autonomous. Negan trusts Jesus to run the place well, and he has been. He gives Negan updates everyday and Negan gives his advice, but that’s pretty much the end of his involvement there. Nevertheless, Negan takes credit for their success under him, and no one is inclined to question him.

Though Chuck has been spending time downstairs, she does enjoy the occasional quiet day in her room with her cats lounging all over the place. Negan moved the animals back upstairs pretty much immediately, though he stipulated that they were not allowed in the nursery. Ever. Chuck conceded as long as she could cuddle with them in their bed. And despite what Negan says about the “furry bastards”, he still lets Moe curl up on his lap every time he sits in his office looking at the inventory sheets.

One day, while Chuck is walking around the marketplace, she sees a large whiteboard and gets an idea. After asking Arat nicely to carry it upstairs and help her put it up on the wall in the nursery, Chuck gets to work on it. Just as she’s finishes up, she hears Negan come home.

“Come in here, Negan,” she shouts. “I want to show you something.”

Negan steps into the room and gives her a kiss before turning to Chuck’s creation on the wall. She has turned the large whiteboard into a calendar, starting with the month of November (the current month) and ending in April with important days like Thanksgiving, winter solstice, Christmas, New Years, Easter, and the first day or spring all highlighted. But the most important day is more prominent than all the rest. April 2.

“You got my fuckin’ birthday wrong,” Negan says casually.

“What?” Chuck scrunches up her face in confusion. “I don’t have your birthday on here at all. I don’t actually know your birthday, I guess.”

“Then what’s that?” He points to the extra special date.

Chuck smiles wide and rests her hands on her belly. “That’s the due date.”

“Oh, shit!” Negan places his hand on Chuck’s belly, too and turns back to the calendar. “April second, huh?” He chuckles happily.

“When’s your birthday?” Chuck asks, realizing that she probably should’ve already known it.

“April seventh ,” he responds with a smirk. “We’ll be celebrating two fuckin’ birthdays in one week.”

“The baby might not come on that day exactly. She’ll decide when she’s ready.”

“Well, we’re gonna have a big fuckin’ party, regardless. Might be a dual birthday party.” He moves to stand behind Chuck and wraps his arms around her belly.

“So, how old are you gonna be anyway? Fifty......eight?” Chuck teases.

“The fuck you talking about, little girl? I’m not fuckin’ fifty eight!”

Chuck can’t help but laugh hard at her joke.

“I’ll be forty seven, for your fuckin’ information,” Negan fakes offense, causing Chuck to giggle more. “You know, you shouldn’t be laughing, Chuck. You’re the one fucking my old ass.”

They both pause then start to laugh together as Negan’s words sink in.

“Get your mind outta the fuckin’ gutter, perv,” Negan jokes. “I didn’t mean it that way.” He pauses. “Though I’m not opposed to the idea,” he tacks on with a smirk.

Chuck turns around in his arms and smacks his chest. “Negan!” she chides, but she’s still laughing.

He chuckles then shrugs his shoulders innocently. “What? You know, I’m pretty sure we got some strapons in storage you could use.”

“Why on earth would you have strapons in storage?”

“The guys ran across an untouched sex shop and brought the whole fuckin’ thing back a while ago.”

“Really?” Chuck asks a little incredulously.

“Yeah. That shit’s just been sitting there this whole time. But it did come in fuckin’ handy, I guess.”

Chuck scrunches up her face trying to think of how stuff from a sex store would be handy in any other way but the obvious one.

Negan chuckles at her, apparently picking up on her confusion. “When we destroyed Eldritch’s shit, I had the guys suit up in latex sex suits so they could gut up and get through the fuckin’ biters without getting sick.”

Negan had never told Chuck the details about the assault on Eldritch’s compound and she never really asked. The details aren’t important. The only thing that Chuck cares about is the fact that Eldritch isn’t a threat anymore.

“Latex sex suits?” Chuck asks in confusion. She’s never heard of such a thing.

Negan laughs again. “Yeah. Suits made of fuckin’ latex so it covers all your skin.”

Chuck tries to picture it. “How is that sexy? One of the best parts of sex is feeling your skin on mine. I don’t think I could do it all covered up. With latex, no less.”

Negan just smiles at her for a moment.

“What?” she asks.

“You’re just so goddamn cute.” Negan leans in to kiss her.

Chuck can tell by Negan’s movements that he’s going to want more, but she has something else she wants to talk to him about. “Wait.” She pushes him away slightly. “Before we get too far, I want to talk to you about something.”

Negan groans.

“It’s not bad.”

“It means we’re not fucking right now, so, yeah, it’s bad.”

Chuck gives Negan an unimpressed look, which makes him let out a sigh. He moves to the doorway and holds his arm out, gesturing for Chuck to cross the threshold back into their bedroom. She walks forward and sits on the edge of the bed. Negan follows suit, sitting beside her.

“So, what’s on your mind?” Negan asks.

Chuck takes a deep breath and lets it out, nervous about what she’s going to talk about. “I love the nursery,” she starts.

“Okay...?” Negan responds. “Is that it? Can we fuck now?”

“Negan,” she bites back.

“Okay, okay. Sorry.”

“I just wanted to say... I love that you got all those pictures of my family for our daughter to see. Because she’ll never get the chance to meet her grandparents, but she can still know their faces. She’ll still know my family. Where she came from.”

“Yeah,” he replies softly. But there is some confusion behind it.

Chuck continues tentatively. “But she didn’t just come from me. She comes from you, too. A-And I know you have those pictures and things in your closet. I’d like to frame some of them and put them-“

“I don’t have any pictures of my family, Chuck. My father was a fucking monster and... I don’t have any pictures of my mom.”

“Lucille was your family. And Simon, too.”

Negan just stares back at Chuck. “Why would you-“ He stops and rakes his hand through his hair.

“Lucille was a big part of your life. I don’t want to hide that from our daughter.”

“Do you realize-“ He huffs out a breath. “You want our kid to know I was a piece of shit husband?”

Chuck doesn’t know how to respond to that. “I just want her to know your past. My past. Our past. She’s not gonna live the kind of life we had. She’s not gonna have high school dances and field trips. Go to college. It’ll be completely foreign to her. But I want her to know about it. And, no , I don’t particularly want to tell her about your... indiscretions. But I don’t want to hide your whole life either.”

Negan stands and starts to pace slowly without saying anything.

“There has to be good memories in that box, too,” Chuck says quietly. “Memories you’d want to share with her.”

Negan turns back to Chuck, but again, he doesn’t say anything. He slowly moves over to the closet and finds his memento box. He sits back down beside Chuck with the box in his lap.

“I really don’t know why I even took this shit. It was... right after me and Simon got this place cleaned up. Before we had any other fuckin’ people here. I decided to go back to my house by my-fuckin’-self.” He starts to root through the box. “The place was fuckin’ trashed. Nothing of use was left. Pantry was empty. My tools, gone. My fuckin’ Impala, gone. Handgun I kept in the closet...” He shakes his head. “I shoved all my personal shit everyone left behind in a bag. I just... I don’t fuckin’ know. I didn’t need this shit. But I had found a fuckin’ place to live and I just...”

“You wanted part of your old life with you,” Chuck answers for him.

Negan nods slightly. “When I was rooting around the fuckin’ closet, I found my old baseball bat. Lucille bought it for me when I first got the job at the school.” He sighs. “She said I was gonna ‘Knock it outta the park’.” He chuckles sadly.

“That’s ...Lucille?” Chuck questions softly.

Negan nods. “Barbed wire came a little later. When more people came. The name came later, too. I don’t fuckin know why I did that. It’s fucking insane, isn’t it?”

“No.” Chuck smooths her hand over the back of Negan’s head. “You were hurting. Processing everything.”

Negan finds a picture of him and Simon. They’re teenagers, probably fourteen or fifteen, and it looks like they’re just hanging out in the woods. But they’re laughing.

Negan looks at the picture and starts to talk. “Simon’s family lived next door to the first foster family I stayed with after my mom died. Me and him were fast fuckin’ friends. Never experienced anything like it before or since. We just got each other immediately. Shit, I spent more time at Simon’s house than where I was supposed to be. I guess that’s why my foster family got rid of me. Said I wasn’t ‘bonding’.” He shrugs. “I moved across town after that. But me and Simon still fuckin’ hung out. Got ourselves into trouble more than once.” He chuckles.

“I bet you got into trouble,” Chuck comments with a giggle.

Negan’s face turns more somber. “Simon was really the only person I fuckin’ cared about after my mom died. Before Lucille, anyway. I lived with six different families before I turned eighteen.” He chuckles humorlessly. “But the whole fuckin’ sob story of my life got me some kickass grants and scholarships. That’s pretty much the only reason I even went to fuckin’ college.”

Chuck feels a sadness with what Negan has said. He never had a real family in his life. That fact is probably why having a child is so important to him. He wants to make the family he never had.

Negan pulls out his college diploma. “Look at this shit.” He opens it up so she can see. “What a fuckin’ waste.”

“It wasn’t a waste. You taught a ton of kids for a long time because of that. It meant something.” She takes it from him and sets it down beside her. “We’re putting it up in the office.”

“We are?”

“Yes.”

Negan finds a picture of him standing in some sort of museum and shows Chuck. “Baseball Hall of Fame. Me and Lucille took a trip to New York for our ten year anniversary. She wanted to see Wicked.” He shrugs a shoulder. “It actually wasn’t too fuckin’ bad.”

“So you made her go to the baseball museum because she made you go to a play?”

“Not at all. Lucille fuckin’ loved baseball. Her dad was a goddamn nut about it. Took her to games all the time when she was a kid. Baseball was the only thing me and him could fuckin’ talk about. He hated my goddamn guts, otherwise. But when we talked baseball... It was like he forgot he hated me so much. He even showed me his baseballs signed by the fuckin’ greats. Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, Joe DiMaggio, Cy Young, Willie Mays,” he rattles off.

Chuck listens intently, but can’t manage to mirror Negan’s enthusiasm about the men he’s talking about. Especially because she doesn’t know who they are. “I recognize some of those names...” She grimaces a little at her lie. “One of those names.”

“What?!” Negan responds, shocked at her lack of baseball knowledge.

Chuck shrugs. “You know I’m not into sports.”

“You should still know the fuckin’ greats!”

Chuck giggles. “You’ll have to teach me.”

After going through some other pictures and keepsakes, he finally pulls out his wedding picture, though he doesn’t really look at it.

“It’s okay, Negan,” Chuck whispers as she rubs his back. “I know this isn’t easy.”

Negan takes a deep breath and looks at the picture, staring at it in silence for a few minutes. “I’m glad you made me fuckin’ do this,” he says quietly and touches Lucille’s face in the picture.

Chuck is shocked. She expected him to fight her on this. And definitely not be happy about it. “Really?”

“Yeah. I never wanted to think about... Lucille... because all I could see was her in her hospital bed. Or the look on her face when I’d come home from fucking some other girl. But you were fuckin’ right. There are good memories here.” He lets out a sigh. “I just gotta let myself remember them.”

After a moment, he pulls out a picture that Chuck recognizes. It’s the picture her mother took of her and Negan at her graduation.

“This,” she takes the picture from his hand, “This was in my house, wasn’t it?”

Negan nods. “I didn’t want to put it up. Thought maybe it made me look like a fuckin’ pedo.”

Chuck laughs. “It’s an innocent picture!” She looks at it closely. “It’s pretty much the only picture of me I ever liked. I took a copy of it with me to college. And then to my apartment in the city.”

Chuck studies the picture then looks back up to Negan. The smile on her face falls when she sees that his own face looks sad.

“What’s wrong?” she asks.

“I should’ve kept in touch with you.”

She casts her gaze downward. “It’s okay, Negan. I didn’t expect you-“

“You kept this photo with you? At college? After?”

“Yeah,” she answers, a little confused at why Negan is questioning it.

“Did you have any fuckin’ friends after high school?”

Chuck shrugs, not wanting to admit that she really didn’t.

Negan lets out a huff and shakes his head. “You wouldn’t’ve held onto that damn picture if you had anyone else.”

“I was fine, Negan. I did four years of college in three, so... I was busy. I didn’t need friends.”

“Goddamnit, Chuck,” he mutters. “I should’ve kept in fuckin’ touch.”

“What would we have done together? I was a teenager and you were... married ! With a job and a house. I couldn’t exactly relate. And would you have gone to frat parties with me?”

“We could’ve-“ he scratches his cheek. “I could’ve taken you to goddamn baseball games. Made sure you were doing alright. Made sure you were happy. I shouldn’t have just dropped you.”

“Well, why didn’t you keep in touch?”

Negan lets out a heavy breath and starts to answer Chuck’s question.

——— Negan’s POV ———

— Seven years ago —

“You all ready, honey?” Lucille says to me as I walk toward our front door. She’s got her fuckin’ coffee cup in her hand, just about ready to leave herself. She’s got a house to show in an hour.

“Yeah,” I kiss her on the cheek when she walks to me. “I should be back for dinner. At least I fuckin’ hope I will. If this thing goes long, I might just fuckin’ kill myself.”

She laughs at me. “Come on! This is a good thing.”

I guess she’s fuckin’ right. I got invited to this goddamn “Sports and Education” conference because my baseball team went pretty fuckin’ far last year. Almost won the division. And there’s gonna be coaches and educators from all over the state there.

But I hate shit like that. It’s just guys fuckin’ jerking themselves off to the crowd and saying how fuckin’ amazing they are. I don’t have to talk about winning to show that I’m fuckin’ successful. I fuckin’ win and that’s that.

However... the school kinda lost their shit over it, thinking that my appearance at this stupid ass conference will translate into more money for the school. So I was gently persuaded to attend. And by “gently persuaded”, I mean Principal Addams told me that she’d personally kick my ass if I fucked this up. And she probably would. She’s a fuckin’ hard ass.

That means I gotta fuckin’ schmooze the right people. Which I fuckin’ hate. But whatever. I gotta do it.

And I may have a little bit of an ulterior motive in wanting to go there.

This conference is at the University of Virginia in Charlottesville. My own alma mater. And it just so happens to be the college that my former fuckin’ favorite student attends.

Chuck.

I’ve been thinking about her a lot lately. I don’t fuckin’ know why. The last time I fuckin’ saw her was months ago right after she graduated. But recently, she’s been on my mind for some reason. And I can’t really do much about it without looking really fuckin’ weird. I can’r exactly fuckin’ call her up outta the blue. “ Hey, barely legal former student. It’s me, the guy that fuckin’ taught you. Yeah, I’m still twenty years older than you and really have no business talking to you anymore. How’s things? ”

Yeah, that’s not gonna happen.

I’ve seen her mom a few times out and about and I always casually ask how Chuck is. She says she’s good, so that’s all I really know. That should be enough for me to know. I mean, I’ve seen former students before. I’ve asked about them, what they’re doing. And, sure, I wanna know they’re doing good. In a friendly sorta mentor kinda fuckin’ way.

But Chuck is different. And it’s really fuckin’ confusing for me.

This is a fuckin’ recent thing, too. And I don’t know why exactly shit changed. Chuck was my student. She was my student . And that was it. It always was. But now when I think about her... it’s just... confusing .

I don’t want to fuck her. I mean, it’s not like I would hate to fuck her. But... Shit, I shouldn’t even think about it. She’s got that fuckin’ baby face! But that body of hers...

Goddamn, only a fuckin’ perv would think that way.

No, it’s not like that! ...Is it?

No. It’s not like I think about burying my dick in her like I do with most women. Yeah, I know, that’s fuckin’ sexist. But I can’t help it. I love fucking women. And women love fucking me. But eighteen is way too fuckin’ young. Shit, I haven’t fucked an eighteen year old since I was... twenty two, probably. And I sure as hell ain’t twenty two now. I’m pushing fuckin’ forty!

It’s ...different with Chuck, anyway. I don’t know how to describe it. It’s... like I said, confusing .

I’m just hoping seeing Chuck again will answer some fuckin’ questions. If I immediately wanna fuck her brains out, then I guess I’m turning into a perv in my old age. That’s not ideal, but I guess I can fuckin’ deal with it. Not that I’d try to fuck her, really. I mean... I don’t know. It just seems wrong. If I see her and it’s just the same protective, teacher/student shit, then that’s that. I’ve just been fuckin’ thinking about her because I’m worried and haven’t seen her in a while. Then I can stop freaking the fuck out about it.

It’s been fuckin’ weird these last few weeks. I don’t wanna tell anyone about it. Everyone at school is completely fuckin’ out. If I say I’ve been thinking about a female student, even a former one, shit would get investigated. And I’m a little too ashamed to tell Simon. He’s got a niece Chuck’s age; I don’t want him thinking I go for girls that young.

Lucille... I can’t fuckin’ tell Lucille. How the fuck could I? “ Oh yeah, Lucille, I’ve been constantly thinking about some girl. Wanna discuss it? ” Yeah, no. She hasn’t even talked about Chuck since... probably the last time we fuckin’ saw her. Like, not at all. I don’t know if maybe she knows...? Nah. She can’t. I haven’t fuckin’ talked about Chuck either, so why would Lucille think something’s up?

The drive to Charlottesville takes about two hours, but it feels like fuckin’ forever. I just keep thinking about what I’m gonna do when I get there. Should I look Chuck up? That seems weird. Should I just walk around campus and try to run the fuck into her? Like it was an accident?

I let out a huff and turn the radio up in my truck to try to drown out the thoughts. “I’m fuckin’ horrible,” I mutter to myself.

The conference... confers , I guess. And I schmooze all the right people, so I don’t have to worry about getting my ass kicked tomorrow by a sixty year old woman when I go back to work. The whole thing was enough to distract me, but now that it’s over, I’m back to kinda freaking the fuck out.

I walk around campus aimlessly, sorta hoping that I’ll come across Chuck randomly. That seems like the most fuckin’ organic way to... I don’t know, get this shit started. But I don’t run into her. I’m just about ready to throw in the towel and find a student directory when I see her walking a ways away.

She looks exactly the fuckin’ same. I mean, I guess it’s only been less than a year that I saw her last. That red hair of hers put up in those two buns she always wore. She’s dressed in tight jeans and a baggy hoodie with her backpack slung over her shoulder.

She must be done for the fuckin’ day because it looks like she’s headed back to where the dorms are. I start to walk quickly to catch up with her, but still trying to look fuckin’ casual.

My fuckin’ phone starts to ring, so I pull it out of my pocket without stopping. Lucille’s picture fills the screen and I push the button to silence the ring. But then something just fuckin’ tells me to answer it. So I do.

“Hey, baby,” I say as I slow a little, but don’t stop walking. Chuck is still in my sight, and I want to get to her before she gets to her dorm. Following a college girl to her room seems like a bad fuckin’ idea.

“ Negan? ” Lucille’s voice sounds weird.

I stop in my tracks. “What’s wrong.”

She clears her throat. “ I’m in the hospital. ”

“What?! Are you okay? What the fuck happened?”

“I-I collapsed at the house I was showing. The clients called the ambulance.” She lets out a breath. “The doctors are doing tests.”

“I’m leaving right the fuck now.” I turn away and walk in the opposite direction of where the fuck I was headed.

The whole ride to the hospital, the only thing I could think about was that I probably already know what the doctors are gonna fuckin’ find when I get there.

——— ———

“Her cancer had come back,” Negan explains with his head cast down.

“I’m sorry, Negan.” Chuck grabs his hand and holds it in her lap.

“She fought it so fuckin’ hard. And I was there every step of the fuckin’ way. We thought we beat it a few times. But...” He shakes his head. “I focused on Lucille then. I didn’t step out on her. Didn’t even fuckin’ think about it. That’s why I didn’t...” He lifts his head to look at Chuck with tear-filled eyes. “I could’ve still called you, at least.”

“No.” Chuck wipes his cheek. “You were exactly where you needed to be. You did right by Lucille in the end.”

“If I had kept in touch... I could’ve had you with me. You wouldn’t’ve gone through all that shit you did.”

“Negan,” Chuck shakes her head, “don’t feel guilty for things you had no control over. And just...” she cradles his face in her hands, “look to the future with me. The past is the past.”

Negan nods then wraps his arms around Chuck, holding her tight until long after the sun sets.

Because everyone had such a good time on Halloween, people ask for more holiday celebrations, the next one being Thanksgiving on November 26th. The community meal is all planned with as many traditional dishes they can manage. The most important dish, of course, being the turkey.

Max and his hunting party are very successful and manage to get about forty good sized turkeys, enough for everyone at The Sanctuary and the outposts to have some. There is even enough to send the excess to Hilltop to feed them. When Negan tells Jesus that he is going to be sending turkey his way, Jesus says that the Hillfolk would return the favor by making pumpkin pies. They get the pies all ready and send them along with some saviors to be cooked in The Sanctuary’s industrial ovens.

The day before the holiday is very busy for the kitchen, making sure that all the food is ready to be cooked the following day for the community meal. But Negan assures the kitchen workers that they will be rewarded with extra points for their extra effort.

The day is also busy for another reason. Amber goes into labor in the early afternoon. She requests that Chuck be present in the infirmary to help out with the delivery, and Chuck obliges, though she more often than not just stands back and allows Carson and Kayla to do their thing.

Chuck thought she was prepared for the experience, having read all the books that Carson had provided several times each, but she definitely was not. And it most certainly didn’t look like any childbirth she had seen from tv or movies. But of course, it’s all worth it in the end. It takes about two hours, but Amber births a healthy baby girl.

After the baby is cleaned and has some bonding time with her parents, Amber hands her new daughter to Chuck to hold. The baby fusses for a moment, but soon settles in Chuck’s arms.

“She’s so perfect,” Chuck whispers in awe, never having held a newborn before. “Look at those big blue eyes.” Chuck runs her hand over the soft tuft of hair on the top of the baby’s head. “And blonde hair, too.”

“She’s beautiful,” Kayla comments as she looks at the child.

Chuck doesn’t linger too long, knowing that Amber and Mark would like time alone with their baby. When she gets back upstairs, she’s delighted to see that Negan is cooking dinner.

“How’d it go?” he asks, still standing at the stove preparing their meal.

Chuck lets out a sigh of relief as she sits down at the the counter, thankful to get off her feet. “Really good. Everyone’s healthy.”

Negan turns back to peek at her. “You look fuckin’ tired.”

“My back just kinda hurts. And I’m starving.”

After they eat, they curl up on the couch and watch old dvds of The X Files.

“Fuck, Gillian Anderson was hot.”

Chuck shoots him a look. She is leaning on the opposite arm of the couch with her legs curled up beside her while Negan has his legs kicked up and crossed on an ottoman.

“What?” Negan glances at her and chuckles. “You know I got a fuckin’ thing for redheads,” he teases.

Chuck stretches out her leg to kick his thigh lightly.

“Oh, I’m not allowed to say some actress is hot?” he asks incredulously.

Chuck just shrugs, already aware of where this conversation is going to go.

Negan puts on a higher pitched voice. “‘God, Chris fuckin’ Whatevers-worths abs are ridiculous! Dean Winchester has jaw bones for days!”

Chuck can’t help but giggle at his impression of her, but she’s trying to look mad, even though his point has been made. She knows she does talk about various actors a lot.

He continues. “That dude from that shitty Superman movie is gorgeous .”

Chuck steels herself to give him her most serious look. “I’ll have you know, Dean Winchester does have jawbones for days,” she deadpans.

“Come here,” he teasingly growls and grabs her feet to start tickling them in his lap.

Chuck laughs uncontrollably. “Stop! No tickling!”

“Alright, alright.” He stops, but doesn’t remove his hands from her feet. Instead, he starts to rub them. “You know, I don’t say shit when you talk about all those fuckin’ hunky guys.”

“Well, it’s not like you have anything to worry about.”

“And you have to worry about Gillian Anderson circa 1996 coming here?”

Chuck laughs at the absurdity. “Point taken.”

He continues to massage her feet. “You know I got the biggest fuckin’ boner for you anyways.”

She giggles. “My husband, the poet.”

“What? That’s romantic as shit if you really think about it.”

The way Negan is rubbing the soreness out of her feet has Chuck thinking about what she did today. “Did you ever watch an actual birth?”

“I saw a video in college. It was kinda fucked up.”

“I know, right! Like... I felt really bad for Amber’s vagina.”

Negan laughs. “It seems fuckin’ insane that you’re gonna push a baby sized thing out of your tight ass pussy.”

“It kinda freaked me out. Like, there were all kinds of bodily fluids going on. And Amber was screaming in pain. It was just kinda intense. And I’m gonna experience all that, too.”

“You’ll get through it, baby girl. You’re tough as shit.”

“Amber’s baby is really cute, though,” she comments with a smile.

“They name her?”

“Yeah. Skyler Alice. Amber said Alice was her sister’s name.”

“Shit. I guess we should get on finding a fuckin’ name for our kid.”

Chuck shrugs a little. She’s been going over that very thing in her mind for a while, but she’s been a little worried that Negan won’t like the name she wants.

Negan looks up like he’s thinking. “It’s gotta be something cool, like ‘Negan’, but something cute like ‘Chuck’. Hmm.” He hums, still thinking.

“Uh.” Chuck clears her throat. “How about... umm. Well... I think I have a good name.”

“Well?” he prods when Chuck doesn’t actually say it.

“Madeline Rose.”

Negan’s face instantly drops, but he says nothing.

Chuck can feel her blood pool in her cheeks. “You don’t like it,” she says more as a statement than a question.

He just stares for a moment longer before speaking. “Madeline was my mom’s name.”

Chuck waits for him to say something else, but he doesn’t. And his reaction makes Chuck not want to admit that she knows that that’s his mother’s name. “So... you don’t like it?”

“I... didn’t say that.”

“I just... uh. I liked it. And I thought of ‘Rose’ for the middle name for my mom. ‘Cause she always smelled like roses. And also... you know, for Lucille, too. Since you said roses were her favorite.”

Negan still doesn’t say anything. He just blinks like he has to process it.

“But also, I wanted ‘Rose’ so I could call her ‘Rosie Cotton’.”

Negan finally cracks a smile. “It’s fuckin’ perfect.”

“Really?” Chuck exclaims. “You really like it?”

He smiles wide. “I fuckin’ love it.” He moves to lean over Chuck’s belly. “My little Madeline.” He softly strokes the baby bump with his fingers. “Our baby Maddie.”

The cafeteria is, of course, a little crowded because the entire Sanctuary is there for their Thanksgiving dinner. The whole thing goes off without a hitch, though. Each table of six is given a half of a turkey so they can carve it themselves, which made it easier on the kitchen workers.

Negan, naturally, is the one who carves the turkey at their table, which also includes Simon, Patty, Sherry, and Dwight. But before that happens, Negan stands to give a speech to the packed room.

“Today is fuckin’ Thanksgiving! And in the time before all this shit, we used this day to watch football, lounge around, and eat our fuckin’ weights in food. And, yeah, it was fuckin’ nice to get a few days off from work, but that’s not what the day was supposed to be about. This day was supposed to commemorate one group of people being fucking selfless enough to help another group just because it was the right thing to do. Those pilgrims were fuckin’ thankful on that day because they were starving and the Native Americans gave them food. And because of that, on this day, we are supposed to fuckin’ think about everything we have.

“We got food, we got a place to live, we got people and safety. We got families . Including the newest member of The Sanctuary that was just born fuckin’ yesterday.”

People in the room clap at the mention of the new baby, which makes Chuck smile. Despite the fact that there are a ton of people that live here, it still feels like everyone cares about each other. It’s a real close knit community.

“So,” Negan continues, “I am very fuckin’ thankful that we are all here. We went through a bit of a tough time, we lost some good people, but we are still. fucking. here! So, this may be our first Sanctuary Thanksgiving, but it sure as fuck isn’t gonna be the last! Let’s eat!”

The meal is absolutely perfect. The food is all delicious and conversation flows easily. Even though it isn’t in a family dining room, it really feels like a family meal to Chuck.

After Thanksgiving, the temperature turns colder fairly quickly. And it’s not only the change in weather that has Chuck needing new clothes. Her baby bump is continuing to expand in the weeks that pass.

Chuck finds out quickly that Negan absolutely loves taking care of her. It’s not like she didn’t already know that, but the further along in the pregnancy she gets, the more evident it is.

Negan practically forbids Chuck from putting on her own shoes. Plus, nightly foot rubs become the norm. Those foot massages always come after their nightly baths, where Negan gently washes Chuck’s skin and hair while she just relaxes. And, of course, Negan keeps her fed with homemade meals everyday.

Chuck certainly doesn’t mind the royal treatment.

As the days pass, people start to talk about Christmas. Four Christmases have passed since the world unofficially ended. Three of of those while The Sanctuary existed. People had told Chuck that some people had always celebrated Christmas, or whichever holiday they celebrated, but it was never widespread. This year, though, more people are looking forward to that special time of year.

Including Chuck. Even though she knows that this Christmas won’t compare to next year’s one, because that will be “baby’s first Christmas”, she’s still excited to spend it with the man she loves.

Chuck’s mother had always made a big deal of Christmas. Her family wasn’t exactly religious, but her mother had said that Christmas was about family and being with the ones you love. Those words had always stuck in Chuck’s mind every Christmas after the turn. After she lost everyone she had ever known.

And that last Christmas at the nursing home... It had almost broken her.

But now, she had Negan. And everything is perfect.

“Baby’s awake!” Chuck calls out from her seat on the couch. She has been feeling the movement in her belly pretty consistently, but Negan has yet to feel it. Chuck keeps telling him that it’s not uncommon, but she knows he’s disappointed.

Negan walks into their bedroom from the office. “Still kicking?” he asks as he sits beside Chuck on the couch.

“Yup.”

Negan sneaks his hand under Chuck’s shirt and places it on Chuck’s belly. He stays still for several moments, trying to feel the movement. “I can’t feel shit,” he comments dejectedly.

“You will, Negan. It might just be my uterus, you know. But you’ll be able to feel her eventually. Couple more weeks, tops.”

He sighs and pushes himself back into the couch.

Negan looks so sad that Chuck wants to make him feel better. “I’m sorry,” Chuck breaks the silence.

Negan turns his head to her. “It’s not your fault, sweetheart. I just wanna feel her.”

Chuck’s eyes flick to movement outside the window behind Negan. “It’s snowing!” The snowflakes reflect the light coming from the window and almost shine against the dark backdrop of the night sky.

Negan turns his head to the window. “It won’t stick. Still too fuckin’ warm.”

“We might have snow for Christmas, though.”

“Hmm,” is his unenthusiastic response.

“You’re not excited about it?”

“I’m not fuckin’ religious.”

“Neither am I, but I still can’t wait.”

Negan just shrugs.

“It’s going to be our first Christmas together,” she comments quietly.

Negan nods. “You’re right. We can have a nice and quiet fuckin’ Christmas together.” He pulls her into his side. “Just fuckin’ lounge around and not do shit. But fuck, maybe.”

Chuck giggles. “We have to watch Die Hard, though.”

Negan laughs. “Fuck yeah, we will! Die Hard is the shit!”

Even though Negan is a little blasé about the holiday, Chuck is determined to get him the perfect gift. That proves to be difficult in a time where there are no more stores. But Chuck has an idea.

She goes around and finds someone who used to be an artist, a woman named Sara. Arat is actually the one that pointed her out to Chuck, having known and worked with her for some time. The artist is a savior and has her own room on the fourth floor, which Arat leads Chuck to.

“Do you think you could draw a face of a person if I described it to you?” Chuck asks the woman, who is in her early thirties, thin, with a sleek black bob reminiscent of the ones from the twenties.

“Yeah, sure!” Sara responds enthusiastically. She moves over to her shelf and grabs a notebook and some pencils. “Is this for Negan?”

‘Yeah,” Chuck answers. “So I kinda need you to be discrete about it.”

Sara puts her hand up. “Say no more. This is a special commission and won’t leave this room.” She gestures to a desk in the room and Chuck sits on one chair as Sara takes the one next to it.

“So, um, can we do it like 8x10 so I can put it in a picture frame?”

“Yeah. You want it just black and white or color. I have colored pencils and pastels, too.”

“Uh... color,” Chuck decides. “That would be nice.”

Sara sets up her page and pencils. “So tell me what you want.”

Chuck goes on to describe the picture of Negan’s mother that she had seen once before in his office back at school. Though Chuck only saw the picture once, she never forgot the woman’s beautiful face. And she is fairly easy to describe because she pretty much looked like a feminine Negan.

Chuck knows that Negan loved his mother very much, but doesn’t have any pictures of her. When Chuck had Negan go through his mementos, she had hoped that the picture she saw all those years ago was there so they could hang it in the nursery, but it wasn’t.

Chuck couldn’t think of a better Christmas gift than to give Negan the chance to see his mother’s face again.

It takes a while, but in the end, Sara gets the rough picture finished. She tells Chuck she’ll work on it more and add the colors. Chuck makes sure to pick out the color of Negan’s mother’s skin, eyes, and hair, so Sara can get it right.

The day before Christmas, Negan is busy making sure everything is done that needs to be done. Though there won’t be a big community dinner like there was for Thanksgiving, Negan tells The Sanctuary that anyone that wants the day off to get together with friends and family can take it off and still get half pay. Anyone that still wants to work will get double pay. A lot of people decide to take the day off, so much of The Sanctuary won’t be working on Christmas.

Chuck uses Negan’s absence to her advantage and asks Simon and Laura to help her get a fake Christmas tree and decorations up to Negan’s office. She spends all day setting up the tree and putting the ornaments on it, though she saves the star for Negan.

Negan comes in just before dinner time and immediately stops in the doorway as he looks at what Chuck has done. Chuck, who has been sitting on the couch in the office waiting for Negan to arrive, just casually turns the page of the book she’s pretending to read, acting like she doesn’t know anything about the fully decked out Christmas tree.

After a moment, Negan finally closes the door and walks into the room. “What’s all this, sweetheart.”

Chuck stands up to meet him. “I don’t know. It just appeared,” she teases.

“Oh, did it, now?” Negan wraps his arms around Chuck and kisses her head.

“Yup. But the star still needs hanging.” She picks up the star and hands it to Negan. “I couldn’t reach.”

“I thought mysterious beings set this shit up.”

Chuck shrugs. “I guess they couldn’t reach either.”

Negan places the star on top and steps back to look at the tree. “Just tell me you didn’t carry all that shit up here by yourself.”

“Of course not.” She turns to look at him. “So you don’t like it?”

“Yeah, I like it.”

“Well, you’ve just been so... not in the Christmas spirit. I thought if I did this...” She gestures to the tree.

Negan hangs his head. “I’m sorry, baby girl. Christmas has always been fuckin’ rough for me. When I was a kid, the only thing I could look forward to on Christmas morning was a goddamn beating.”

Chuck kisses his cheek and hugs him. “I’m sorry, Negan.”

“My mom...” He clears his throat. “My father killed her in December. So, I’ve never really cared for the whole fuckin’ month, really.”

“Oh, Negan...” Chuck holds him tighter. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Negan wraps his arms around Chuck to hug her back. “I didn’t want to fuckin’ ruin it for you. But I just... I’m trying, but it’s fuckin’ hard, baby girl.”

“Well, next Christmas is gonna be completely different. Because were gonna have a little girl to spoil. It’ll all be about her.”

Negan smiles at that. “Damn right.” He gives Chuck a quick peck before heading off to the kitchen to make dinner.

After the meal, the couple cuddles up together back on the couch in the office in front of the tree, admiring the twinkling lights in the dim room. They sit there for hours, just talking easily and laying with each other. Negan shifts so he’s laying beside Chuck across the couch, his head turned down to Chuck’s belly and his hand placed softly atop it.

“You doing okay in there, Maddie?” he coos.

“She likes hearing your voice,” Chuck comments.

“Really?”

“She seems to move around more when you talk to her.”

Negan shifts so that his mouth is even closer to Chuck’s baby bump. “Come on, Maddie. Give daddy a good kick so I can fuckin’ feel it.”

Chuck places one hand on Negan’s head and the other on his hand on her stomach. “She’s not moving yet. She might be sleeping.”

Negan makes a disappointed noise, but doesn’t move. “When will she wake-“ Instead of finishing his sentence, he lets out a gasp.

At the same time, Chuck feels a strong kick. “Did you feel that?”

Negan looks up to Chuck with wide eyes and a huge smile. “I fuckin’ felt that!”

“You did?”

“Yeah!” He looks back down to her belly. “Do it again, Maddie.”

After a moment, the baby kicks again making Negan giggle. And that’s a noise Chuck has never heard come out of Negan before.

Chuck flicks her gaze to the clock on the wall. “Hey look.” She points to it and Negan follows her hand. “It’s past midnight. It’s Christmas.”

Negan laughs slightly, his grin still spread ear to ear. “This is the best fuckin’ Christmas I’ve ever had already.”

Negan keeps his hand on Chuck’s belly until the baby stops moving around. Chuck tells him that she probably really is sleeping now. With the excitement over, the couple gets ready for bed. While Negan is in the bathroom brushing his teeth, Chuck takes the opportunity to slip back out into the office and place her gift to Negan under the tree.

When Chuck wakes up the next morning, she finds Negan laying curled around her with his ear pressed into her belly.

“Morning,” she rasps, her voice heavy with sleep.

“Can I hear her heartbeat?” Negan suddenly asks without moving.

Chuck giggles. “I don’t know. Can you?”

“I mean, is it fuckin’ possible?”

“Yeah.”

“I can hear... It sounds like a fast fuckin’ heartbeat?”

“That’s her.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Holy shit. I can hear her heartbeat,” he says, his voice filled with wonder.

Even though Chuck is excited to give Negan his present, she lets him listen to their baby’s heartbeat for as long as he wants. When he finally sits back up, Chuck jumps out of bed and pulls him out with her.

“What are you so excited about?” Negan teases.

Chuck continues to pull him out to the office. “I want to see if Santa came.”

When Chuck gets to the tree, she sees two wrapped presents sitting underneath it, the one she put there last night and another one. She whips around to look back to Negan.

He shrugs. “Santa must’ve fuckin’ come.”

Chuck just stares back at him. She really didn’t expect him to get her anything, let alone surprise her with it. He must’ve put the present there this morning before she woke up.

“Well,” he gestures to the tree, “you wanna see what Santa got you?”

“You first.”

“No, you-“

Chuck cuts him off. “You first,” she says more forcefully.

Negan chuckles. “Okay, sweetheart.” He goes to the tree and picks up both presents, which are similar in size, handing Chuck’s to her before they both sit on the couch.

“I hope you like it.” Chuck smiles at him, but she’s nervous.

Negan seems to pick up on that fact and gives her a quick kiss. “I love it already.”

She giggles. “You haven’t even opened it, yet.”

“Doesn’t matter. You gave it to me so I fuckin’ love it.”

Chuck laughs again. “Open it.”

Negan rips through the wrapping paper and turns the picture frame around to see what it showcases. Chuck can’t immediately tell what he thinks of it; his face has so many emotions going on at the same time.

“What do you think?” Chuck asks, nervous about how he’s going to answer.

His mouth is agape as he stares down at the picture in his hands. “What- How...” He finally looks up to Chuck. “How did you get this?”

“I, uh... Back... in high school, I saw a picture of your mother in your office. And... I knew her name was Madeline because it was written on the back. That’s why I wanted that name. I didn’t tell you...”

Negan looks back down to the picture. “It’s...” He runs his fingers over the picture. “It looks just like how I remember her.”

“I thought we could put it in the nursery. If-If you wanted to.”

Negan lets out a soft sob and brings his free hand up to cover his face.

Chuck, thinking that he hates the picture so much that it upsets him, tries to take the picture out of his hand to get rid of it.

Negan doesn’t let her, though. He brings the picture tight to his chest as tears stream down his face.

The sight has tears welling up in Chuck’s eyes. “Are you okay, Negan? I’m sorry. I didn’t want to upset you.”

He breathes in a deep breath and wipes his face. “It’s so fuckin’ perfect,” he chokes out. “Thank you.” He wipes her cheek, too. “Thank you so much for this.”

Chuck gives him a little smile. “You like it?”

“I fuckin’ love it so goddamn much.” He leans forward to kiss her. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

He clears his throat and composes himself. “Shit. I think I need to get you a better gift.” He laughs.

She picks up the box. “No. I’m gonna love it.” She pulls the paper off of the box and sees that Negan had gotten her a box set of the show Firefly including the movie Serenity.

“I remembered you liked it and I never fuckin’ watched it so... We can fuckin’ watch it together.”

Chuck smiles. “I love it.” She wraps her arms around Negan and hugs him tight.

Negan pulls her into his lap and hugs her back. “This is my most fuckin’ favorite day yet and it’s all because of you,” he whispers. “Merry fuckin’ Christmas, Chuck.”

She giggles. “Merry Christmas, my love.”

#negan #negan fanfiction #negans thirst squad #negan x oc #negan x original female character #negan x ofc #negan / ofc #negan / oc #negan / original female character #jdm #jeffrey dean morgan #the walking dead fanfiction #the walking dead au #the walking dead #this is how i disappear #tihid #writehavoc writes #writehavoc this is how i disappear

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thing-you-do-with-that-thing · 7 years

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Our College Years - Dec 18th

Pairing: Jensen x Reader AU

Warnings: Jensen’s a biter??? ;)

Word Count: 463

A/N: This one is part of my College!Jensen one shot/drabble series AU but it can like all the others also be read as a stand alone.

It’s done for @webcricket’s advents challenge and the prompt was red flannel

Fast written and unbetaed. All mistakes are mine.

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

MASTERLIST

Jensen had been at work all afternoon and evening at Pizza Hut, leaving you with no homework alone in the apartment, which you had taken full advantage off. You had found a recipe for a mobile online and you had been sewing and cutting all day until you finally had three little clouds looking like raindrops were falling from them.

You smiled knowing no one but Jensen would know it’s real meaning, but it was still cute. You decided that even though you still didn’t have a crib you could still hang it over where you and Jensen had already decided it would go.

You happily skipped through the rooms, dragging one of the living room chairs after you. You had still been in bed when Jensen left, because… well because he had made it more appealing to stay under the covers than getting up and doing stuff today, when you didn’t have too. When he left the bed had grown cold. You had gotten up putting on panties and one of Jensen’s red flannel shirts, which had been your attire all day. You didn’t have to leave the house so no need to wear something uncomfortable.

You crawled onto the chair, so focused on your task you didn’t hear the front door open and close. You didn’t hear the pizza being dropped on the kitchen table or Jensen appearing in the door admiring the sight before him.

You were standing on the chair with both hands above your head, causing his shirt to crawl up, revealing your snobby panties and Jensen couldn’t help but grin as he tiptoed closer. You had just finished hanging the mobile when Jensen’s hands were on your waist causing you to squeal in surprise. A squeal that turned into laughter as Jensen playfully bit one of you buttcheeks, looking up at you with a cheeky grin on his face.

“You’re such an idiot,” you laughed slapping his shoulders, but Jensen just chuckled, lifting you off the chair and back onto the floor. He wrapped his arms around you from behind, looking up at the mobile above you.

“Rain clouds huh?” Jensen chuckled, making you giggle and lean back into him.

“I thought it was cute and no one knows but you and me.” The smile didn’t leave your face as Jensen’s lips found their way to your neck. Sweetly kissing a trail up to your cheek before you spun around in his arms and he was smiling down at you.

“That would be a good name,” Jensen smiled but there was a seriously look in his eyes causing you to frown, wondering what he was thinking before he spoke. “Rayne.”

Your eyes shun with happiness and a huge smile spread across your face. “I love it, Jay.”

Jensen Tag Team

@mizzzpink @not-moose-one-shots @emoryhemsworth @sleepylunarwolf @roxyspearing @mysteriously-lost @blacktithe7 @atc74 @mogaruke @fatalcrossbow @mrswhozeewhatsis @mysupernaturalfics @crushing83 @arryn-nyxx @superapplepie @docharleythegeekqueen @walkingkhaleesi @multifandombackpack @ruined-by-destiel @blushingdean @winchasterdean @iamabeautifulperson18 @theoriginalvicki @feelmyroarrrr @hexparker @vvinch3st3r @shamelesslydean @katymacsupernatural @elevenofmages @jensen-gal @mysterious-398 @dustycelt @ericaprice2008 @adriellej @ashleydivine @waywardmoeyy @storytimewithylva @canadianjelly @percywinchester27 @LessonsOfRed @featherleaf12 @percussiongirl2017 @sis-tafics @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester @mayasmedberg @ruprecht0420 @jayankles @torn-and-frayed @its-not-a-tulpa @spn-fan-girl-173 @ryantherandomhero @lupine-princess @like-a-bag-of-potatoes @becs-bunker @sillesworldofwriting @sandlee44 @mariahoedt @akshi8278 @michellethetvaddict @samisimportant @smoothdogsgirl @winchester-writes @amotleyworld @keepcalmandbeajunkie @aubreystilinski @evansrogerskitten @impalaimagining @babyismyspiritanimal @love-kittykat21 @there-must-be-a-lock @highlyfuncti0nings0ci0path @i-larb-spooderman @born-to-be-his-baby88

OCY Tag Team

@mrswhozeewhatsis @staticweekes @deansgirl215 @valerieshubin @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @anathewierdo @teamfreewill92 @gabriels-trix @ashlyn-98 @bradygabrielle-blog @16wiishes @multifandombackpack @kingkenzieo @daddy-kink-confirmed @mrspadalackles @my—heroine

#cricketsspnadvent2017 #jensen x reader #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles imagine #jensen ackles fluff #jensen ackles au #our college years

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starsinursa · 7 years

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Destiel Fic Recs

I’ve decided to put together a rec list of my favorite Destiel fics....because I have read so, SO many fics in this fandom. All those times when I should have been writing? Or working? Or cleaning my house? Yeahhh, I was reading fics instead. I also tend to be a really picky reader, so I wanted to share a few fics that really made an impression on me, in the hopes that other people will enjoy them as well and maybe find some new fics they haven’t read yet. :)

I’ll do my best not to give anything away that will ruin the story, but be warned, there might be some minor spoilers – but probably not anything worse than you would find out just by reading the tags or summaries.

I will add to this list occasionally.

Last updated: January 13, 2018

List of fics is under the cut!

❤ = absolute favorites

CANON!VERSE FICS

What Has Eight Tentacles and Isn’t Allowed to Eat Pie?, 16k words, Teen

Dean watched an anime porn about this once, but real life turns out to be way less interesting.

Or, the one where Dean gets turned into an octopus.

This fic is adorable. It takes place in the bunker after Dean touches something he shouldn’t, and they have to find a way to turn him back. Dean’s point of view as he struggles to learn about being an octopus is hilarious, Sam is appropriately exapserated, and Cas is the biggest sweetheart on the planet as he helps take care of Dean. Bonus: there’s some wonderful Kevin inclusion in this fic, including him shrieking like a little girl.

❤ A Room of One’s Own, 94k words, Explicit

All Dean wants is a little privacy. Cas doesn't understand.

This fic is AMAAAZING. I’m sure almost everyone has read it because it’s very well-known, but listen, it’s well-known for a reason. Dean’s characterization is spot on, the fic is soulful and sometimes hilarious and sometimes a little angsty and really, really, really fucking hot. *fans self* Here is my absolute favorite quote from the fic, just as a teaser:

"Your exact words, as I recall, were 'Do not frigging come into the frigging bathroom without a frigging express invitation, you frigging pervert.'”

Cuckoo and Nest, 10k words, Explicit.

For a long time, Castiel thought that every earthly possession other than the immediately necessary was excess to requirement. But Dean – Dean who named his car, who keeps a photograph of his mother in his wallet, some thirty-plus years after her death, who still has the crumpled ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign with a sleeping pelican emblazoned on it from the Microtel outside of Roanoke where he first kissed Castiel, clumsy and unsure, under the unsteady fluorescence of an exhausted bathroom bulb – is sentimental.

It puzzles Castiel, where Dean draws the line between what is meaningful and what it is worthless.

This was lovely. Dean and Castiel are together, but nothing comes easy and they to have to learn how to compromise and how they fit into each other’s lives. The characterization in this story was spot-on, and it features a wonderfully nit-picky, clean-freak Dean, which I adore and don’t see often enough.

❤ I Dream of Deannie series, 71k words, Explicit.

While on a hunt, Castiel gets a dose of djinn toxin, and finally gets to experience what he's really wanted all along. Set vaguely S5ish. Shameless Destiel PWP. Continued in "The First Time, Again."

The first fic in this series is basically just smut involving Cas and djinn!Dean, but the rest of the fics are where it starts getting REALLY good. After being saved from the djinn, things start developing in real life between Cas and Dean, and it’s WONDERFUL. One of the most well-written, realistic ways that I’ve ever seen their relationship develop in a canon!verse fic, it really holds true to the characterization for me. Also, most amazing love confession ever. Also, really hot sex scenes.

Hesitation, 24.5k words, Explicit

Zachariah orders Castiel to seduce Dean in order to strengthen his allegiance to heaven. Castiel thinks it will be something to endure. Dean just thinks Castiel wants him. Neither one is right.

This fic...ughhh, what to even say, it’s wonderful and also heart-breaking. It’s basically as the summary says: Zachariah orders Cas to sleep with Dean, which he does, even though he doesn’t really want to... at first. Dean has no idea about Cas’ orders... at first. You might want to avoid it if you’re squicked out by potential dub!con, but I thought this fic was handled really well and I didn’t really see it that way. The dub!con is because of Cas’ orders, but Dean is never the one who forces Cas into anything and he’s very patient and wonderful, and things get worked out in the end.

Holy!Dean series, 120k words, Explicit.

Dean Winchester has grown used to God dicking around in his life the last couple years. But this crap? This takes the CAKE ... or pie, rather. Now he's been thrown a whole new curve-ball. The kind that has ended the Civil War in Heaven ... but resulted in Raphael taking over, and hunting for Dean's ass on a silver platter. Not to mention dealing with Balthazar acting like a self-righteous prick, Sam having some big damn epiphany on his big brother's sexuality, and Cas eying him up like he's the world's juiciest cheeseburger. All that mixed with the chance to fix it all and set everything to rights ... but only if Dean is willing to sacrifice himself. Again. Seriously, if he ever meets that bastard God he's gonna- ... oh hey, Chuck! What are you doing here?

This was so good! Chuck picks Dean to be his “successor” as God, so Dean has to learn about sacrifices, love, and how to use his fancy new mojo. Castiel, Gabriel, and Balthazar are all in the story, which I love, because angel shenanigans are the best. This series is hilarious most of the time and very sweet at other times.

Brother Lover, 4k words, Teen

"However- and it doesn't happen a lot- they have to invoke 'I saw her first'."

Dean thinks that Castiel is in love with Sam. Just a short fic involving a misunderstanding and some pining, but it’s very sweet and amusing.

AU FICS

❤ ❤ ❤ Living Broken Adjacent, 135k words, Explicit.

Hunt/Capture/Celebrate/Repeat. Dean Winchester’s world in four words: simple with no fuss. He’s not had a single, life-altering moment in the 13 years since he joined his dad as a professional bounty hunter. Why fix what’s not broken?

That is, until everything around Dean comes to a screeching halt, leaving him alone in new surroundings. Suddenly, Dean’s forced to live in his own version of the Cuckoo’s Nest with the biter, the licker, and the joker. Where angels abound, and his roommate’s haunting blue eyes make him wonder about all his past choices. He’s got this no problem, right? WRONG!

Who knew laughter and love could be found within the dull, institutional walls of a psychiatric hospital, teaching Dean that no one is ever truly broken, but sometimes you simply find yourself lost and stumbling through a life where you are living

…broken adjacent.

I absolutely adore this fic. It has EVERYTHING: Dean in eyeliner, Dean with tattoos, Cas with tattoos, multiple “angels” (Gabriel, Inias, Samandriel, Gadreel), angst, fluff, humor, sex, redemption... it’s wonderful. The author does really well portraying the mental health issues realistically - sometimes there is progress, sometimes there are set-backs, but above all, the characters are MORE than their diagnoses. I also love the relationship between Dean and Cas in this fic. Even though there are angsty parts because they’re all dealing with their own issues, the actual relationship that develops between them is so, so sweet and almost innocent. And last but not least, although kind of random, there is the COOLEST baby name in this fic, A+ for wordplay and puns.

❤ Love, Take Your Toll, 8.5k words, Teen

Cas sees hundreds of faces every day, but there's only one that he really cares about.

Cas works in a toll booth and Dean drives through his lane frequently. This is sweet and has some good pining, and honestly made me a little misty-eyed, Cas is just so genuine and lonely and I just want to hug him.

I love almost every fic by this author, so I’ve recced several of their fics in this post. Seriously, they’re all wonderful - charming, sometimes friggin’ hilarious, and they always leave me smiling. The only problem? I wish all of these stories were longer, I need more!

❤ The Return Policy, 13k words, Explicit

"Most of his visitors are academics. They come from universities all over the nation, sometimes beyond. Others write books. The man in the Reading Room today is neither. He’s a tall, irritated man with a federal badge."

The federal agent's partner is usually the one who does the research. And even though Cas doesn't think this man is a real federal agent, he's happy to help where he can.

Featuring still-a-hunter!Dean and Cas, who works in the Library of Congress. Let me just say one thing: hand kink. If you have even the slightest hand kink, you will enjoy this fic. The characterization is also wonderful and so true to the characters, including Dean’s A+ comebacks, so please enjoy this brief excerpt as an example:

It is in the archives that Cas realizes he has another condition. He scowls when he sees Dean handling a scarred leather album of Beckley’s with his naked hands. He reaches into his pocket and thrusts his extra pair of gloves at Dean.

“Have some care,” he says.

“You—have some…care,” Dean mutters mutinously as soon as he turns away, but at least he puts them on.

❤ The Request, 36k words, Mature

When Sam Winchester prays for his brother, Castiel is finally sent on his very first assignment. But what should be a simple love match turns into much more and Castiel finds himself risking everything to ensure the happiness of his extremely frustrating charge.

This is the cutest fic ever. Castiel is an angel who is the black sheep of his family, and he gets assigned to help Dean find his soulmate. They get a little sidetracked because Castiel helps Dean find some closure about an issue from his past, too. The interactions between Cas and Dean are wonderful, Cas is adorable and naive but still a bamf, and Sam is the best brother ever. I really love this fic, I read it over and over.

The Parts of Our Sum, 55k words, Explicit

Castiel, a former soldier, has worked for the Company his entire life. They've been good to him, providing clothes, shelter and new body parts whenever necessary. Now the Company's gearing up for a space exploration voyage, and Castiel's volunteered for the research team. During the preparation period, he meets Dean Winchester, who makes Castiel wonder about the things he's missed out on.

This is a great sci-fi fic! In a world where humans can be augmented and “improved”, Castiel has a few of these improvements and works for the “Company” that provided them. He meets Dean, who has some strong opinions and biases against the “Company”, even though he’s working for them too, and they develop an interesting and rocky friendship. Some good pining and a happy ending!

❤ Peanut Butter-Pumpkin Wedding Cake, 30k words, Explicit

Dean is a waiter in a strip club to put his kid brother through school. Castiel is dragged to the club as a part of his sister Anna's bachelorette party. Dean and Cas hit it off, but Dean thinks Cas is the one marrying Anna.

This fic is delightful - it’s basically a romcom, I could absolutely see this fic happening on the big screen. Everything starts with a big misunderstanding, but Dean is still drawn to Cas despite his better judgement, and things get worked out in the end. Sam is a big part of this story and he’s DELIGHTFUL, I laughed so hard at some of their brotherly antics and squabbles.

Heaven and Hell Escort Service, 123k words, Explicit

Loosely based on the film 'The Wedding Date'. Castiel Novak is a high class escort, and an expensive one at that. He likes to help people, and being an escort allows him to do that... barely. Dean Winchester is a mechanic/waiter who may have accidentally told his father he has a long-term boyfriend to bring along to Sam's wedding. Desperate times call for desperate measures... an escort service might not be what he wants, but it could be exactly what he needs.

I really enjoyed this fic. Another one that reads like a good romcom, with some humor, some pining, some revelations, and some hot lovin’. The attraction, pining, and UST between Castiel and Dean will keep you on the edge of your seat, yelling at them to just get together already.

❤ Broadway Musical, 12.5k words, Mature

This is the day that marked the Holy and Blessed Union of Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle.

The merging of prominent bloodlines is always a grand occurrence, but breeding pedigree hunter families like Winchester and Harvelle is something to be rejoiced. It is also something to be meticulously planned, which thankfully the Host is very good at.

Or, the romantic comedy where Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle are destined to get married, Castiel is given the task of playing matchmaker and fails terribly, the entire Heavenly Host becomes a sitcom audience, God warns against male pregnancy, and Jimmy Novak is incredibly unimpressed with angels in general.

Another fic that I have read several times, this one is wonderful! The angels are trying to get Dean and Jo to be together. Castiel decides to be more hands-on and steps in to help their cause, but nothing goes as planned. The fic is a delight and very funny the entire way through: Jimmy is still sharing Cas’ vessel and makes hilarious observations, the angels watch everything and bicker and squabble and make suggestions, and towards the end of the fic, there’s a cameo by Lucifer that had me DYING. Literally SCREAMING with laughter.

The Way to a Man’s Heart is Through Chlamydia, 89k words, Explicit

Dean doesn't expect to see his one night stand again, but then again he also doesn't expect to find out he has an STD. Sometimes life is hilarious like that.

This was a lovely feel-good story! It starts out with Dean going through a rather crappy time in his life, he finds out his girlfriend was cheating on him and they break up, and he finds a one-night stand (Cas) to get his mind off things. Turns out he has chlamydia from his ex, so of course he has to do the right thing and track down his one-night stand to let him know, and things with him and Cas go from there. It’s an interesting fic because it starts with sex first, but then the rest of the fic is Dean and Cas going more slowly and romancing each other.

Carnival Oasis series, 43k words, Explicit.

Castiel is a being that feeds on sin. Lucky for him, Dean has plenty of sin to spare.

Dean is still a hunter and he runs across Cas, a supernatural being that gets his jollies by “feeding” off the guilt of others. I enjoyed this fic because, despite what you might think, Cas is still mostly the earnest and dedicated Cas we all know, who just wants to be accepted and loved. Is there such as thing as a love!kink? If so, Cas definitely has a love!kink in this fic. Oh, and the sex in this fic was… whew. *fans self* Smokin’ hot. Lots of good sexin’ in there.

❤ Bring It On Home, 40k words, Mature

Multi-chapter Dean/Cas AU. Dean the Sales Rep just moved into the neighborhood, and his neighbor is a definitely crazy shut-in. Now complete! Ch. 30: Dean narrowed his eyes. "I'm not lovely. Knitted tea cozies are lovely."

This was one of the first Destiel fics I ever read, and it remains one of my favorites. Dean is more similar to Dean Smith - he has a house, a good job, a fairly stable life - and Cas is more similar to Endverse!Cas - he uses recreational drugs, reads auras, and is a pretty weird guy. That being said, this fic is actually really, really sweet, and hilarious at times, and there is some wonderful prose and writing, there are a few paragraphs and sentences that are simply gorgeous and beautifully written and full of imagery.

❤ Shortskirts’ Verse, 22k words, Explicit

So, they're in high school, and then they're in college, and it's mostly not about Taylor Swift, except when it is.

Super sweet and feel-good! Dean and Cas start dating in high school, keep dating throughout college, and Dean plays baseball. Whenever I want a fluffy fic to cheer me up, this is the one I read. I really love Dean in this fic - he’s come to terms with his sexualitty and he’s loving and caring and doesn’t give a rat’s ass what anyone thinks about his relationship with Cas, and it heals my shipper’s heart. There’s also a hilarious misunderstanding with his baseball team.

Home is Where, 15k words, Explicit

Casual vagrant Dean Winchester blows into Palo Alto to check on his little brother. What is meant to be a quick visit ends up drawing out when he meets and accidentally ends up clicking with Sam's strange, grad student roommate Castiel.

Cas has Asperger’s Syndrome, and he and Dean are drawn together by a mutual attraction but have to figure out how to navigate each other’s strange ways. This fic includes a little bit of hot sex, plenty of misunderstandings, some hurt feelings, a lot of heart, and a happy ending. I thought that Cas having Asperger’s Syndrome was written wonderfully and with a lot of empathy, and the fic is actually told from Cas’ point of view part of the time, so it’s an amazing look into his world and what he’s thinking.

❤ it’s a lot like life, 21k, Explicit

There were rumors of liaisons between maids and their Ladies, of short-lived passionate affairs between servants and their masters, yes, but Castiel had never heard of anything that passed the test of time. Their lives were too different, and the world saw these relationships as a threat to the very foundation of society. There had to be those that had the power and those that served them, and love had a dangerous tendency to blur those lines. Castiel’s own thoughts were the best example. Lord Winchester had started to be a human being in his mind, a person he cared for not because it was his duty, but because he felt a bond to him.

Dangerous indeed. And impossible given Castiel’s proclivities. He didn’t think his Lordship would react well to his fantasies of bending him over his desk.

This is basically a Downton Abbey AU, and it’s SO, SO good! It feels a lot longer than it actually is, because it’s wonderfully written and the time flow and character development feels so natural. The relationship between Castiel and Dean is sweet and earnest and also really sexy. Seriously, this fic has a bit of everything - a semi-forbidden relationship, Dean in panties, and a wonderful, happy ending.

The Dove’s Long Journey to Champaign, 33.5k, Explicit

After four years of solitude on a remote island, Dean’s been through hell. But he’s home, he’s healing, and he has a very special gift for a man he’s never met. (Basically this is an AU of the movie Cast Away that takes place after the island.)

This fic is really sweet and funny - not too angsty, given the premise! Castiel is absolutely adorable, Dean is trying to figure out who he is and what his life’s supposed to be like after a life-altering experience, and Sam is supportive and wonderful. There’s hilarious parts, sweet parts, and touching parts. Possible trigger warning though: the fic does feature therapy, references to psychotropics and anxiety, and even discussion of past suicide attempts - but I thought it was all handled in a wonderful, inspiring way that helps show the importance of seeking help, minimizing stigma, and healing.

Now, here are some of my favorite random categories:

ANGSTY FICS/ FICS THAT MADE ME UGLY!CRY

Smoke in the Mirror, 50k words, Mature

It begins with the flier hung in the library: art model needed for thesis project, will pay. Castiel figures it's an easy way to make some extra money, but modeling for Dean Winchester ends up complicating his life far beyond anything he could have imagined.

Dean hires a nude model for his project, which turns out to be Cas. This fic is such a good slow burn, and the development of Dean and Cas’ relationship is natural and sweet and gratifying - until Dean’s project is finished, and they don’t see each other for the next 10 years. Oh my god, the pining. The angst. This fic shredded my heart. Don’t worry though, there’s a happy ending that will leave you crying with relief!

As You Pass Through Me, 30k, Explicit.

Cas has lived in this house all his life... and since his untimely death. The last thing he wants is a new roommate, but it seems he's getting one anyway.

Cas is a ghost and Dean moves into his house. Cas starts to fall for Dean, and despite all obstacles, Dean starts to fall for Cas too. There’s some dubious consent issues, since Cas kinda creeps on Dean before Dean is aware he’s there, so watch out for that if it squicks you, but the whole fic is really well done. There’s a lot of pining, but it has a happy ending and everything gets worked out!

Out of the Deep, 488k, Explicit

Stay away from the light-beds. Stay in the deep.

It is the first thing hatchlings are taught the moment their fans unfurl and they can swim without their parents to buoy them along. It is the first rule, the first law. It is the beginning of every boogey-monster bedtime story told when they settle against the cliffs to sleep.

Castiel should have listened better.

Another really popular and well-known fic, but I really enjoyed reading it. Even though I ugly cried through about 1/3 of it. There’s some slow burn and some sex and lots of feelings, but mostly there are just so many things conspiring to keep Dean and Cas apart, including the dumbasses themselves. I swear, sometimes I just wanted to fucking scream at them. But there is a happy ending and I was really satisfied with how everything finally worked out. Cas as a mermaid fin-kin is so awesome and beautiful - he sings, he glows in the dark, and he’s got sharp, badass teeth, what more could you want? Definitely a VERY LONG fic, so be prepared to dedicate a lot of time.

He Can’t Sleep, 19k, Mature

After Lucifer's possession, Castiel stops talking.

Ughhh, the tears I cried, so many tears. This fic is beautifully written and so poignant and it just really GOT to me, that these two idiots love each other so much but can’t seem to stop hurting each other, my heart just ached. There IS a happy ending, of course, but you’ll probably still sob the whole way through.

How a Righteous Man Raises a Rose, 5.5k, PG-13

AU in which the apocalypse and angels and demons never happen, and Sam and Jess and Dean live together in a suburban lifestyle -- and then suddenly, nothing is alternate universe at all. Told from Sam's POV. Dean is compelled to tend a dead rose garden, if only Dean could remember why; and remember why it is so important.

This fic killed me. I can’t even. It’s short but it packs a seriously powerful wallop. There’s a really interesting (but rather soul-crushing) twist, and there’s...not really a traditional happy ending. Definitely worth a read if you want a good cry, so just keep some tissues ready.

FUNNY FICS

❤ Mad at your Dad?, 7.5k words, Mature

Dean wasn’t sure why he was even scrolling through Craigslist. Especially not the casual encounters section. It was four days before Thanksgiving. Not like he was gonna try and hook up with someone before that shitstorm. After, sure, but not before.

He kept scrolling, though, not clicking anything until a title caught his eye.

Alone on Thanksgiving? Mad at your dad? I am a 28 year old male felon who has no degree, but has studied enough theologies of the world, behavioral psychology, and philosophy to set your whole family’s teeth on edge—no matter which way they lean, politically, religiously or in terms of neuroses. I drive a van the same age as me that’s got a mural on the side of an angel holding an orgy. I can play between the ages of 20-30 depending on whether I shave. I live off an inheritance, and sell weed on the side. If you’d like to have me as your strictly platonic date for Thanksgiving, but have me pretend to be in a very long or serious relationship (monogamous or polyamorous, whichever sounds most like it would freak out su familia) with you (and/or others), to torment your family, I’m game...

I laughed so, so hard. I can’t even tell you. Cas is DELIGHTFUL in this - snarky, sarcastic, and sometimes high. I don’t even have a favorite part in this fic because the whole thing was a fuckin’ riot. I’ve re-read this one multiple times and I still laugh.

Incredibly Single and Ready to Mingle, 3.5k words, Teen

Sam uses Facebook like the social media junkie he is. He's befriended literally every person he's ever had a conversation with since he got an account, which means that approximately—Dean checks—eight hours ago, he shared this horrible photo with something in the vicinity of nine hundred people. The caption below the picture reads “incredibly single & ready to mingle ;)” and roughly half of them have liked it.

Dean has never been so embarrassed in his life.

Short, sweet, and hilarious! Basically, Sam uploads a horrible picture of Dean to Facebook, and it ends up introducing him to Cas in a roundabout way. The description of Dean’s embarrassing picture had me cackling with laughter.

❤ The Fourth Wall series, 40k words, mostly Teen

In which Sam does another sort of research, and Dean is amused.

Basically, the boys end up reading fanfiction about themselves. This is HILARIOUS - Sam is mad there isn’t as much fanfiction about him, Dean has to explain the dynamics of ‘topping’ and ‘bottoming’ to Cas, and Cas just wants to know how the mpreg fic ends. The characterization in this fic is spot-on, and besides just the fanfiction crack, there’s a lot of other wonderful moments: Castiel is introduced to sweets, Sam gets tossed into a gross pond, etc. One warning though: this fic also features Sam/ Lucifer, if you’re not into that pairing...BUT that pairing doesn’t really occur until almost the end of the series, so I still highly recommend reading this and just skipping those parts if they’re not your cup of tea. Really, you won’t regret it. Just read the very first part and you’ll be hooked, I promise.

❤ An Exploration of Habitat, 11k words, Mature

Dean's afraid of heights, and Cas lives in a tree.

This fic is short, sweet, and a riot. There’s so many things and little details that made me giggle. There’s one part, however, that had me DYING. It took me completely by surprise and I don’t think I’ve ever laughed that hard about a fic. I still laugh when I re-read it. I don’t want to give anything away, so I’ll just say: it’s the part after Dean comes down from the tree, and Balthazar is reciting a “letter” that he wrote.

DARK FICS

Sociopaths in Love, 24k words

Dean buys Castiel as a slave and has a fun time viciously breaking him in. But what Dean doesn't know is that this is exactly what Castiel wants.

(Or, two sociopaths walk into a slave auction...)

Yeahhh, this one is pretty self-explanatory. Castiel is a sadist and enjoys it when he’s being hurt, Dean is a masochist and enjoys it when he’s hurting others, and it’s a match made in Heaven. Or Hell, more likely.

Bone trilogy, 29k words, Explicit

When Dean (raised from hell by some unknown force) and Sam stop the last seal from breaking, heaven decides to bring its own apocalypse. Late in the war, an angel with dark hair and striking blue eyes is captured, and Dean – Dean is his interrogator.

This is definitely dark, but it’s also brilliant. Humans are in a war against Angels, and Dean tortures them for information. The fic makes an amazing full circle – Dean has never been able to break an angel, but for some reason, Castiel is different, more susceptible, easier to reach, able to be broken when no other angel could be broken before. Why? The answer will break your fuckin’ heart.

Red Right Hand, 85k words, Explicit

“You’re one microscopic cog in his catastrophic plan, Designed and directed by his red right hand.”

It all starts with the mysterious note left on Dean’s chair. It all ends with Dean coming to terms not only with what he’s capable of, but how much that knowledge doesn’t bother him.

Castiel is a serial killer who is infatuated with Dean. This fic is quite the wild ride, and it hits a lot of my kinks: protective!Cas, jealous!Cas, possessive!Cas, bamf!Cas. That being said, he’s a psychopath and he murders people, so yeah. Dean finds out eventually, and as it turns out, maybe he’s okay with it.

MOSTLY SMUT FICS

Unsolicited, 56k, Explicit

In which Dean Winchester gets an unsolicited dick pic from an unknown sender which is both totally not disappointing in that it's a really nice dick pic, and incredibly disappointing in that it's clearly a downloaded picture of his favorite porn star.

There's absolutely no way it's actually this porn star sending it to him, right?

Right?

Oh my god. Confident, tattooed, sexual, pornstar Cas is my JAM. This was great - lots of amazing smut, with some BDSM elements thrown in later, and of course, a good dose of feelings.

Dean Winchester, Straight Shooter, 15.5k words, Explicit

Dean Winchester, star of StraightShooter.com, is a gay-for-pay porn star with a huge following. Cas Novak signs on to do a scene with him, even though he dislikes "straight" porn stars on principle. But Dean is more complicated than he first appears, and after inadvertently learning his secrets, Cas finds himself falling for him.

This was surprisingly sweet for a fic about pornstars. Cas is earnest and wonderful, and Dean has his obligatory gay freak-out, but it all works out in the end.

Revealed, 11k words, Explicit

When a ritual backfires and Dean ends up with wings, they reveal things that he'd much rather keep hidden. Prompt fill.

An amazing wing fic that features both Dean AND Cas with wings. Damn. This fic. There’s some great possessive!Cas, lots of good wing kink, and a fascinating look at Heaven. Also it was really, really hot.

www.hardcorewings.com, 17k words, Explicit

When Castiel loses his job, he resorts to making wing fetish videos to make cash. Dean really likes them.

This is an AU fic where angels and humans live side-by-side, and some humans have a fetish for angels and their wings, one of those humans being Dean. Cas has enormous silver wings and goes into porn, and Dean finds his videos. Dean doesn’t know that Cas also has a crush on him in real life. This fic was great, I only wish it was a little longer, because the ending seems kind of abrupt to me. That being said, great read.

Except Thou Bless Me, 10.5k words, Explicit

Castiel is wroth, and Dean is having a great time.

This is a canon!verse fic where Cas basically beats the shit out of Dean, then fucks him, and Dean is totally on board for all of the above. There’s a good exploration of Dean’s time in Hell and his self-worth issues, but mostly there’s some really hot sex.

No Teasin’, Just Pleasin’, 7.5k, Explicit

The song is nearing its end as Dean pauses in the centre of the stage, fingers teasing at the waistband of his chaps. For the first time in his routine, he allows himself to look over towards Castiel’s table.

Gabe is watching with the air of someone who’s generally more interested in the feminine figure, but Cas?

Cas looks like he wants to eat Dean alive.

This was excellent! I love stripper AUs so much, and this one definitely stands out from the crowd. Dean’s characterization is wonderful and charming, and it was a fun (and hot) read all-around! (Did I mention it also features Dean in panties?!)

TRUEFORM!CAS FICS

❤ Cruel Angels series, 107k words, Explicit, WIP.

Well. The Apocalypse was one thing. Thousand-foot-tall multi-limbed horror-angels smashing up the planet was something totally different...

Fantastic series so far. The characterization is great, the writing is wonderful, and it’s got everything you could want in a trueform fic: grace-powered orgasms, wing kink, and a description of Cas’ trueform that will amaze and horrify you (think multiple limbs, wings with eyes, and a terrifying mouth in his neck). At the heart of all that, Dean and Cas are still themselves, trying to figure out what the hell they mean to each other, and Cas is still his lovable self, even when he’s an enormous creature.

The reach of human sense, 4.5k words, Explicit.

“You know what Jimmy Novak looked like. You think he was beautiful—gorgeous, hot, all of it. It’s him. Not me. This isn’t my face.”

“But,” Dean says. He doesn’t know where he’s going with it. Just that Cas’ face is right there, brows drawn together and cheekbones gleaming in the lamplight. It’s a face that’s made his heart skip probably a couple hundred beats collectively since they met.

And it used to belong to someone else.

This fic scratched my trueform itch soooo good. It’s always niggled at me that Cas is technically still using Jimmy’s appearance, and if Dean is attracted to him, how much is physical attraction simply to the vessel and how much is attraction to Cas? This fic addresses these issues wonderfully, and Dean is accepting and reassuring and there’s a little bit of praise!kink, and I loved it. Everyone should read this one.

A Beginner’s Guide to Communing with the Dead, 77k words, Mature

Maybe it's the little girl whose disappearance turned into a murder, and whose murder turned into a cold case, and who has now apparently decided to move in with him. Maybe it's the unacceptable hole left in his life when his dumb best friend and partner in (the prevention of) crime decided to go and get himself killed. Maybe it's his brother, whose high-profile career and fantastic girlfriend and first-child-on-the-way are steadily leaving Dean in the dust. Pick one. Pick all of them. The why doesn't matter so much as the what, and the what is this: Dean is pretty sure he's going completely, certifiably insane. Sure, he hasn't started wearing all his clothes inside out, and he still showers on a regular basis (anyways, that's not crazy, just a little eccentric); but there's no getting around the fact that he just threw away his life, his career, and his reputation by dragging out his mom's old necromancy book and summoning a Class A Forbidden Entity to his attic. A cranky one, too. With horrendous bed-head.

I had a hard time deciding where to put this fic - AUs? Cop/ detective fics? I finally decided on trueform fics because this fic has, hands down, my absolute favorite description of Cas’ trueform. The author really makes you visualize it, the absolute scale and magnitude and power and otherness of Cas’ trueform, and it’s awesome. I read that part over and over. As for the rest of the fic: Dean is trying to solve a case, he summons Cas to help him, and their dynamic is snarky and occasionally touching and delightful to read. This was such a cool AU too, with magic and creatures but still set in a modern-day setting.

DETECTIVE/ COP FICS

I am such a sucker for cop or detective fics, you don’t even KNOW.

What Once Was Sacred, 55k words, Explicit

Los Angeles detective Dean Winchester works tirelessly to atone for the sins of his father one case at a time. When his best friend Charlie drags him to visit Sam at his new job, Dean stumbles onto a bizarre string of deaths that brings him uncomfortably close to his past.

Dean can't stop thinking about Castiel, an enigmatic DJ who plays the sexiest music Dean's ever heard. A chance encounter at Castiel's house reveals that Castiel is an incubus, and Dean must face the lies and the reality of his childhood as a hunter. Dean comes to see that he and Castiel have more in common than he thought, and that guilt can be the hardest thing to cast aside.

Beautifully written and it sucks you right in. Dean is a detective and Cas is an incubus, but it’s really different than you might think - Cas doesn’t necessarily like the influence he has over people as an incubus, and he goes to great lengths to avoid hurting people. I love the whole concept, and when Dean and Cas finally get together? Hottest. scene. EVER.

Kiss You When It’s Dangerous, 57.5k words, Explicit

When his partner Uriel, betrays him, Federal Agent Castiel Novak is saved from becoming a ritual sacrifice by brothers Dean and Sam Winchester. Discovering the world of the supernatural and learning about werewolves, wendigoes, vampires and things that go bump in the night also leads to learning more about Dean and the strange life he and his brother lead. The more he learns, the more Castiel finds himself drawn into Dean’s world and toward Dean himself.

Until Uriel wants to complete the ritual he started.

I LOVE still-a-hunter!Dean and agent!Cas. This fic was wonderful because it reads almost like an actual episode - Sam and Dean hunting and doing what they do, with Cas getting roped into that world on accident. The attraction between Dean and Cas is wonderful, there are parts with Dean is adorably worried and protective, and Sam is fantastic. Great read all around.

❤ ‘never see it coming’ series, 12k words, Explicit.

“Sorry, sweetheart, but I’m going to need to borrow your car.”

This features still-a-hunter!Dean and detective!Cas, who gets caught in the middle and pulled along for the ride...until the second part, where HE is the one tracking down Dean. This fic hit every single kink in my repertoire, I’m not even exaggerating. Dean is resourceful and clever, Sam is exasperated, and Castiel is a fucking badass who literally stops at nothing. My only complaint? THAT IT WASN’T LONGER. I need another 100k words in this series, pronto.

#fic recs #my fic recs #destiel #fanfiction #deancas #fanfics #destiel fic recs

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