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musette22 · 4 years ago

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You Make My Heart Skip A Beet

You Make My Heart Skip a Beet

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes (Stucky)

Word count: 3.8k

Rating: Teen and Up

A/N: Based on this lovely prompt by @greyhoundsgirl. I have to be honest here, I’ve never actually seen Top Chef though so I thought it would be safer to make up a new fictional amateur cooking competition which I’ve titled Chef Wars :p

No warnings to speak of, apart from maybe for awful food puns, but it is a bit of a cracky piece, and it’s in Sam POV (poor guy). Hope you enjoy!! 💗 Huge thanks to the amazing @rainbowsandcoconut for brainstorming, food puns and awesome beta’ing, as usual 😘

Read on AO3

Summary:

“I made soda bread.”

Steve lets out the 6’2” supersoldier equivalent of a squeak. “Oh, I love soda bread,” he says eagerly, rolling forward on the balls of his feet like he does when he gets excited. “My mom used to make it all the time when I was growing up.”

The tips of Barnes’s ears turn red, and he mutters something that sounds suspiciously like, “I know.”

****************************

When Sam and Steve had first been approached about being guest judges on an Avengers-themed special of Chef Wars, they’d spent a full fifteen minutes jumping around the common room in the Tower like a pair of overgrown kids on a sugar high.

Guest judges. On Chef Wars.

It so happens that Sam and Steve watch Chef Wars religiously. In fact, Steve even mentioned this in passing in one or two of his more recent interviews when asked how Captain America likes to spend his downtime, which is probably how the show’s executives had thought to invite them in the first place.

Sam’s love for cooking and cooking shows was passed down to him by his mother Darlene, and he, in turn, passed it on to Captain America – though if you’d told ten-year-old Sam that, he would’ve thought you were nuts. Poor Steve isn’t exactly the culinary sort of guy himself, but once Sam started turning up on his doorstep three nights a week to keep him company and make sure he didn’t sink further into depression, he’d slowly started to enjoy the shows Sam insisted on watching with him. Sam figured the familiarity of the actions and the low stakes of an amateur cooking competition would be perfectly suited to someone trying to integrate into a new century, while still being just exciting enough to hold the attention of an adrenaline junkie like Steve.

And he was right. So now, every Thursday night, the two of them chill on Steve’s couch, yelling at the TV and pretending they‘d do a better job of it than the contestants. Which, to be fair, Sam probably would, but Steve decidedly would not. What Steve lacks in culinary skills, though, he more than makes up for with his crazy supersoldier metabolism, rivaled only by the Other Guy and sometimes Thor, once he’s cracked open the mead. Steve can eat, and he does so with relish.

So needless to say, when they got the invite, they’d both jumped at the chance. Who wouldn’t, when presented with the opportunity to do the thing they did every Thursday night for funsies, but this time for realsies? And after weeks of giddy anticipation, today is finally the day.

Filming day.

The whole thing had gotten off to an excellent start. The sun was shining, Steve had actually been whistling on their way to the studio instead of nervously drumming his fingers on the dashboard (something which got on Sam’s nerves like nothing else), and they’d been offered some quality Italian espresso when they arrived. The show got on the road as soon as they’d gotten a quick tour of the studio, and after lights, camera, action, the contestants were introduced one by one.

There is Bernadette, a Missouri housewife who turned out to be somewhat of a BBQ expert and who reminds Sam of his Aunt Jenna; there’s Bob, a big, burly dude from Kentucky who wouldn’t look amiss on a Pro Wrestling show but who ends up surprising them all with a surprisingly delicate edible flower-dish dedicated to his lovely wife; and Yulia, a tiny, fierce girl from Bulgaria with some mean knife skills who Sam suspects could very well be a distant relative of Natasha’s.

And then there’s Bucky Barnes.

Bucky Barnes is a thirty-one-year-old physical therapist from Brooklyn who’s looking to change careers and get into the restaurant business full time. He has that whole hipster vibe going on: long, meticulously conditioned chestnut hair in a messy top knot, designer stubble, sleeve of – admittedly awesome – tattoos on his left arm. His cool, blue eyes and sharp cheekbones give him a model-like appearance, and yet there’s something soft and disarming about him.

Steve certainly seems to think so, at least.

The moment Barnes came walking through those glass doors, Sam heard Steve suck in a sharp breath at his side. A quick glance at Steve’s slack-jawed expression told Sam all he needed to know, since the dude is about as subtle as a sledgehammer. He’d elbowed Steve in the side until he looked over and pretended to wipe some drool from the corner of his mouth. Steve’s eyes went wide as he hastily mirrored the movement, missing the joke by about fifty yards. Oh, boy.

From that moment onward, Steve’s brain seemed to have gone through a blender, turning it into a rainbow smoothie – which was pretty unfortunate, considering they were going to have to interact with the contestants in a way that was suitable for daytime television.

The thing is, Steve is not exactly what you’d call a people person at the best of times. He’s fine with someone he’s known for a while and feels comfortable with, but with strangers he’s just… a little awkward. Credit where credit’s due, Steve is one of the most loyal, sweet, funny and whip-smart guys Sam has ever known – and let’s not forget stubborn as hell – but he’s also very, very bad at social cues. It’s not his fault, of course. Steve had gone from growing up pretty isolated without any real friends to speak of, to suddenly spending years surrounded only by his army buddies, which wasn’t at all representative for how normal people interacted with each other (Sam knows this from experience).

While Steve’s many social faux-pas are an endless source of entertainment for Sam, he’s not a total asshole, and he has tried to help Steve practice his social skills. Unfortunately, giving him well-meaning advice like “just be yourself” seems to be a sure-fire way to ensure Steve will put his foot in his mouth somehow.

That’s why Steve prefers to put on his Cap persona for public interactions. When he’s Captain America instead of Steve Rogers, all he has to do is look commanding and sort of friendly and say bland things like “I’m very happy to be here” and “You did well, son” and no one would be any the wiser that beneath that righteous exterior, Steve was floundering and wondering when he could reasonably leave whatever social engagement Pepper had sweet-talked him into attending, and head home to the comfort of his armchair and his sketchbook.

For today’s engagement, Steve had wisely adopted this approach as well, and the fact that he was genuinely excited to be there helped to loosen him up a little – so really, it should’ve all been fine.

But then Bucky Barnes from Brooklyn walked into the room and turned his big, blue eyes in Steve’s direction, and Steve promptly seemed to forget who or what a Captain America even was.

So far, Steve has already missed his cue twice, and it’s taken Sam stepping on his toes to get him to focus. To be fair, though, Steve puts in a valiant effort to pull himself together, managing to ooh and aah in all the right places when talking to the other candidates – sheer dumb luck, if you ask Sam. But as Steve’s best friend and confidante, Sam sees right through it. He hasn’t missed the way Steve’s gaze keeps drifting in Barnes’ direction, and coupled with the blush creeping up the back of Steve’s neck whenever Barnes’s eyes meet his, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that Cap has got himself a Manhattan-sized crush.

Now, most people probably aren’t aware that Captain America is also attracted to men, but Sam has a feeling that by the end of this episode, that cat will be most definitely out of the closet. Steve’s never purposely hid his sexuality; it was more of a question of it never having come up yet. It sure as hell has come up now.

And what makes this even better is that Barnes is just as bad. He stuttered his way through his introduction, very obviously starstruck at meeting Captain America, but also very obviously gay as hell for him, if the way his eyes lingered on Steve’s chest and thighs is any indication. Sam, for his part, is incredibly amused by it all. Not only does he get to be on the set of his favorite cooking show, he also gets to rib Steve, throwing in as many food puns as he possibly can – most of which go over Steve’s head because he’s too busy drooling over Barnes. Sam’s wit is wasted on his friends.

Then, it’s time to judge. In the first round, the contestants are supposed to make something which represents why they got into cooking in the first place.

Sam can feel Steve practically vibrate with nerves at his side as they walk up to Barnes’ station. Feeling magnanimous, Sam decides to have mercy on his muscly pal and take the lead on this one.

“Mr. Barnes,” he says, giving Barnes an encouraging smile. “Tell us about your dish, if you please.”

“Call me Bucky,” Barnes says, returning the gesture with a quick quirk of his lips.

Next to him, Steve repeats the name in a whisper, most likely unaware that he’s even doing it.

Sam has to bite down on the inside of his cheek to keep from smirking.

*****

Bucky’s confessional

“I grew up in Brooklyn, as the eldest of five kids. My dad left when I was fifteen, and while I was still in school, my mom had to work three jobs to provide for us all. She wasn’t home much, so it was kind of up to me to make sure dinner was on the table most nights.”

Bucky plucks at the seam of his black skinny jeans, lost in thought. “I think that’s why my specialty is comfort food. Nothing unnecessary, just hearty, nutritious food, y’know?” With a tilt of his head, he adds, “Although since all my siblings moved into their own places I’ve been cooking mostly for myself and my cat, so I’ve been experimenting with adding some twists to my tried and tested recipes.” He laughs, right hand clasping the back of his neck in a bashful gesture. “I’ve had… mixed success. Luckily Alpine has loved all of it. She’s my cat.”

“My first dish today is Irish soda bread with sage butter and Himalayan sea salt,” Bucky continues. “Bread was something we could never have enough of in our household. Five growing kids, y’know? And also, um...” A slight blush creeps its way onto Bucky’s cheeks, his eyes flitting around nervously. “Well, I guess you could say I used to be a bit of a history nerd growing up. I was super interested in World War II, particularly, uh, Captain America.” His blush deepens, spreading upwards from the neckline of his white t-shirt to the tips of his pierced ears.

“I, uh, I basically read every Steve Rogers biography I could get my hands on, which is why I learned to make things like soda bread because, y’know, Steve Rogers was Irish. Is Irish,” he corrects himself. Bucky’s eyes glaze over, taking on a faraway look. “Man, I couldn’t believe it when Cap was found a few years ago,” he marvels, “and alive. I don’t think I slept for a week after I found out.” He stares into space for a moment before shaking himself. He clears his throat, eyes refocusing on the person behind the camera. “Anyway, so when I heard that Chef Wars was doing an Avengers-themed special, I immediately applied because Steve – Cap, I mean- Captain America. Um. Yeah, so Cap mentioned in a few of his interviews that he watches Chef Wars, so I figured there would be a good chance he’d be watching this one too, you know? And then I got the email that I’d been selected and that he was going to be the one judging us, and I just…” Bucky trails off, looking a little faint, the blood draining from his face as quickly as it had risen.

“God, I just can’t believe I’ll finally get to see him in the flesh.” His eyes widen. “In person, I mean," he hastily amends. "And I’m excited about my dishes too, of course. I really hope Cap will like them. And the Falcon. Him, too. Yeah.”

*****

“I made soda bread.”

The tips of Barnes’s ears turn red, and he mutters something that sounds suspiciously like, “I know.”

When Steve puts a piece of bread into his mouth and chews slowly, he sniffs, eyes turning a little watery. “It tastes exactly like my mom’s,” he says in a hushed voice, sounding like he can’t quite believe his taste buds. Sam pats Steve’s back consolingly, before scooping up some sage butter with his own piece of bread and taking an enthusiastic bite.

“Hmm, nice,” he says, giving Barnes an appreciative nod. “And the butter? You make that yourself, too?”

“You butter believe it,” Barnes replies, then immediately looks horrified, like he can’t believe he made a pun that bad on national television.

Sam cackles, holding out his fist for Barnes to bump. When Barnes has recovered enough to return the gesture with his left hand, Steve stares longingly at their touching hands, before letting his gaze trail over the tattoos on Barnes’ exposed forearm. Since he's not exactly subtle about it, Barnes catches him looking and gives Steve a tentative smile when their eyes meet. Steve chokes on absolutely nothing and launches into an impromptu coughing fit. “Crumbs,” he wheezes, thumping a massive fist on his massive chest, “wrong pipe.”

Sam just smirks at him, before turning back to Barnes. “That was delicious,” he tells him. “Can’t wait for your next dish, man.”

“Really, really, good,” Steve chimes in once he’s caught his breath. “Well done, Bucky.”

Barnes goes as red as a tomato, eyes trained on the floor as he awkwardly shifts from foot to foot. “Thank you, Captain.”

“Steve, please,” Steve implores.

Barnes bites his lip, looking up at Steve through his lashes. “Thanks, Steve.”

Sam's pretty sure Steve stops breathing altogether right then. Christ, it’s like there’s an electrical current running between the two of them, the air crackling with it. Thunderbolts and lighting, very very nauseating.

Sam claps his hands. “Right,” he says loudly, “moving on to the next contestant now… Yulia, what have you prepared for us?”

*****

By the time the second round rolls around, Steve has had a series of meltdowns and Sam has spent precious time he could’ve been exploring the set and taking pics for his mom on talking Steve out of a bathroom stall. Damn, he’s a good friend. It takes all of Sam’s VA-honed therapist skills to convince Steve that he’s doing fine, he’s not embarrassing himself, and no one but Sam has noticed Steve’s massive heart boner for Barnes yet. Sam actually isn’t entirely positive about that last one – or the first two for that matter – but Steve doesn’t need to know that. There are still two rounds to go.

In the second round, contestants are asked to make a dish that represents who they are as a person.

While the contestants are cooking up a metaphorical storm, Sam and Steve walk around their stations to chat with everyone some more, camera crew on their heels. Steve manages to get out at least three complete sentences, and Bernadette and Bob are too in awe of him to notice the few times he says something that doesn’t actually make any sense. Yulia has given no indication that she even knows who either of them are, and Sam can practically feel the relief radiating off of Steve. He guesses that’s part of why he and Natasha get on so well.

When they round on Barnes’ station, Barnes has just started seasoning his dish. There’s a checkered dishcloth slung over his right shoulder and a focused look on his face, which turns into one of low-key stress the moment he spots Steve and Sam coming towards him. Leaning his hip against the counter, Sam settles in to watch Steve make a fool of himself. He's not disappointed.

“Wow,” Steve says inanely, gesturing in the direction of Barnes’ hands. “That’s- you’re- you’re really good at that.”

Barnes pauses his turning of the peppermill to give Steve a slightly panicked look. “At… grinding?”

At Steve’s strangled cough, Barnes seems to realize what he just said, his bewildered expression morphing into one of abject mortification. The poor guy looks like he’d very much like the ground to swallow him whole right about now.

Honestly, these two deserve each other.

When they've finished chatting to everyone and it’s time to taste, Barnes is asked to explain his dish and how it represents him. He seems to have pulled himself together somewhat since their last encounter, his stance a little more confident now and his eyes only drifting to Steve’s pecs every other sentence.

“I’m a simple guy,” he tells them, somehow managing to make it sound genuine instead of cliché. “I enjoy the little things in life. I like taking care of people, making them feel good and comfortable, and I think that’s reflected in my cooking. I enjoy making comfort food, the hale and hearty stuff.” He licks his lips, meaningfully adding, “Although, don’t get me wrong. I do indulge occasionally. I’ve got my guilty pleasures same as everyone else, y'know?” That last part is directed at Steve, who nods dazedly, like he knows exactly what Barnes means. Gross.

“So I guess you could say you’re just… arugula guy?” Sam grins, cheerfully ignoring the growing sexual tension.

Barnes stares at him for a beat, and then snorts. “You know what?” he says, returning Sam's grin, “the s’more I get to know you, the s’more I like you.”

Sam has a very real moment where he thinks he might actually fall in love with this guy himself. It’s only Steve’s doe-eyed look that keeps him from proposing to Barnes there and then. Okay, and maybe the fact that Barnes is clearly smitten with Steve, and also Sam is straight and very happily dating Nat, who would not hesitate to gut him if he decided to elope with some pasty hipster dude.

Barnes’ dish – mac and cheese with black truffle and locally sourced cheeses and fancy cuts of bacon – is mouthwateringly good, and Sam tells him as much. Using appropriate words to do so. You know, like a normal person.

Steve, on the other hand, moans loudly around his bite and then, mouth still full, he blurts, “That’s exactly what I thought you’d taste like.”

In the painfully awkward silence that follows, Steve and Barnes blush so hard the combined heat of their flaming cheeks could probably power most of New York City. This time, Sam can’t contain his laughter. He crows as he gleefully slaps his thighs, and even some of the crew is hiding having a hard time staying professional in the face of such blatant dumbassery.

Shaking his head, Sam grabs Steve by the bicep and herds him towards the backroom. “Come on, Casanova,” he says. “Let’s get you some ice for those burns.”

*****

For dessert, Barnes goes all out.

He actually makes Captain America cake pops, shaped and decorated like Steve’s shield with blue, red and white frosting. Steve’s eyes almost bug out of his head when he sees them. Barnes explains how they’re “sort of an adult version” of normal cake pops, which makes Sam raise an eyebrow. He’s been on the internet. He unfortunately has seen adult versions of all kinds of Captain America paraphernalia. Fortunately, Barnes just means that his cake pops have some sort of liquor in the center, “for a punch, you know?”

The starry-eyed look Steve gives Barnes clearly conveys just how clever he thinks that is, and Sam surreptitiously rolls his eyes. No game whatsoever, either of them.

“I’ve never had a cake pop before,” Steve says, carefully picking up one of the treats and inspecting it curiously.

“Oh,” Barnes says, blinking at him. “Well, normally you’d eat them in one go, but these are a bit bigger than usual because of the shape of the shield, so you probably won’t be able to fit -”

The rest of his sentence sort of peters off into a stunned silence as Steve proceeds to stick a whole-ass giant cake pop in his mouth in one go, letting out an appreciative grunt as he chews and then swallows.

Barnes’s mouth goes slack. “Oh my god,” he breathes, his eyes glazing over, and Sam cracks up. Again.

The cake pops are actually surprisingly good, despite their garish (sorry, Steve) appearance, and then it’s time to retreat and deliberate. As was to be expected, Steve has a crisis of conscience.

“I can’t vote for him just because he made my mom’s soda bread and he practically raised his baby sisters by himself and he cooks for his cat and he has pretty eyes, Sam!” he laments, voice muffled into his massive forearms. Sam makes the filming crew promise not to air this bit. It takes some doing, but finally Sam manages to convince Steve that Barnes’s food was simply the best. Better than all the rest. He even does a little Tina impression to get his point across, and that seems to do it.

When they announce the winner, Barnes smiles so wide it transforms his whole face and makes Steve melt into a puddle of Gü.

Sam has to nudge Steve again to get him to say his line, since he’s too busy mooning over Barnes to notice the autocue changing. “Ah, yes!” Steve says loudly. “First prize is a substantial sum of money, sponsored by Tony Stark, which we hope will go towards opening your own restaurant–"

“… and a weekend stay at Avengers Tower, also sponsored by Tony!”

Steve’s head whips around to him in surprise. Sam winks at him. “Including a private tour of the premises by none other than Captain America himself. Isn’t that right, Steven?”

A beat of silence, and then Steve.exe starts back up. "Right,” he nods, drawing out the word. “Yes. That’s right.” Sam pats his arm. Good man.

Stepping forward, Steve takes Barnes’ hand and shakes it slowly. “Congratulations, Bucky. I look forward to seeing you again soon," he says, adding, after a quick, bracing inhale, “and maybe when you visit, I can make my mom’s stew for you? If- if you like?”

Sam feels a surge of pride. Look at Steve go, being something almost in the vicinity of smooth.

Barnes laps it up, beaming at Steve. “I’d really love that,” he says in a low voice, still holding Steve's hand. “I’m sure you’re delicious.” His eyes widen. “It’s delicious. The stew – not- not-" Abruptly, Barnes stops babbling, then seems to come to a decision. “Oh, fuck it,” he mutters, and pulls Steve towards him, crashing their mouths together in a scorching kiss.

Over the noise of the assembled crowd's whoops and cheers, Sam gleefully calls, “And that, my friends, is a wrap!”

#stucky #stevebucky #steve rogers x bucky barnes #shrunkyclunks #meet cute #fluff #top chef #chef bucky barnes #my fic #my writing #ao3 #sam wilson pov

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ddaenggtan · 5 years ago

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as we go along | myj [m]

pairing | min yoonji x reader

wc | 10.4k

genre | NSFW; Fluff, Smut, a dash of Angst bc why not

Four years ago, the beautiful stunning attractive frustrating Min Yoonji came into your life. Ever since, it’s been a competition between the two of you to win the HOA’s Holiday Decorating Contest. The fiery looks she gives you paired with the pointed insults throw you off your game every year, but not this time. This holiday season, you’re determines to win; and along the way you might just find that Yoonji’s been trying to win something else.

;OR the queer hallmark movie of your dreams.

warnings/tags | idiots to lovers, enemies to lovers, Awkward Gays, Idiot/Oblivious Gays, very strong language i think this MC curses almost as much as i do, oral (female receiving) x2, fingering, wall sex, theres like....a hint of body worship in that MC loves eating pussy bc lbr. what else could possibly compare to that. uhh side jinkook, as well as some side namyoonmin and some vhope if u squint real hard. hwasa and chungha are a lesbian power couple. OH The Min Twins aka Yoongi and Yoonji are siblings uwu

a/n | this is 100% every single lesbian fantasy of my dreams because i just really love the ladeez and also min yoonji needs more characterization outside of 'stone cold butch domme' so uh. here ya go. i love ladeez so this is v self indulgent and also Super Gay.

this is part of the 25 Days of Christmas: A BTS Anthology

[Today]

Red bleeds into green and glitters magnificently on the snow. Lights and tinsel are strewn all over the yard of your parents’ house, creating a rather pretty collage of sparkles and swirls against the white backdrop. You wish you could appreciate it more.

As it stands, however, you’ve been outside for hours untangling the decorative strands so that you can hang them on the gutters, eaves, and railings of the two story house behind you. Your mother had insisted you work inside but you know better. The cats - Mochi and Pablo - are your favorite in the world and you love them dearly, but one of their favorite things in the world has always been holiday decorations. The number of times you’ve had to stop them from chewing on lights of knocking the tree down is frankly ridiculous. So instead you’re unravelling everything so you can get started on what you’re sure is going to be your best year yet.

You’ve always loved decorating, of course, especially for the holidays. Getting up before dawn to go pick out one of the giant fir trees to stand in their living room, picking out new figurines for the Winter Village that sits on the mantle, helping your parents put ornaments on the tree. You love holiday decorating nearly as much as you love the feeling of victory in your chest.

“If you had an organizer that wouldn’t take nearly as long,” says a voice from behind you. It’s melodic and deceptively sweet in spite of the lower register, and you don’t turn. You don’t want to give her the satisfaction. You don’t even respond, instead settling your gloved hands on your hips and eyeing the front porch so you can decide where to start.

“Really? Ignoring me now? Tsk tsk, and here I thought you were better than being a sore loser.”

Continuing on your mission to pretend she isn’t there, you heft several yards of lights over your shoulder and head toward the ladder you have against the porch roof. You may as well start up high.

“Interesting choice,” Yoonji mutters as she watches you. The hair on the back of your neck bristles, and you take a deep breath to calm and center yourself. “I’d heard that icicle lights were a bit last season, but I’m excited for this vintage look you’re going for. If you need more, let me know. I think the ones I used last year are still in the garage.”

“What do you want, Yoonji?” You huff, turning over your shoulder to glare at her. She looks entirely too at home in your yard with a steaming thermos in her mittened hands.

“Just wanted to say hi. Wasn’t sure you were coming this year, considering how late you got in.”

“My flight was delayed for weather reasons,” you snap.

“Ah. That’s why I always drive up instead.” There’s a pregnant pause that’s filled only with the huffs of your breath as you focus on the lights in front of you. “Oh, but you never got your license, did you? Ah, you should call me next year, we can carpool.”

“I got my license this past year,” You bite out. She doesn’t need to know that it took a few tries. It’s not your fault it makes you anxious to be behind the wheel. “Seriously. I have work to do.”

“Obviously,” Yoonji mutters. You flash her a glare and she just smiles back. “Just wanted to see how you were, if you needed any…” She pauses, eyes trailing over the explosion of decorations on your lawn with thinly veiled judgement in her eyes. “Help.”

“If I needed your help, I wouldn’t be winning this year’s contest.”

“By the looks of it, you aren’t winning this year’s contest anyway.” Her mutter doesn’t escape your notice. But that’s the real problem you have with Min Yoonji.

She’s sarcastic and blunt and kind of intimidatingly hot, but you can handle that. You are a strong, independent queer woman in the modern age and you are not about to let some random lesbian intimidate you, no matter how much you kind of wanted to fuck her in the past. Yoonji is not a problem for you.

It’s the way she’s constantly putting you down, giving you backhanded compliments, and generally acting like she’s better than you. While winning your parents’ neighborhood’s annual Holiday Decorating Contest that their local Homeowner’s Association runs. Everyone gets a kick out of the friendly competition, the winners get a gift certificate to a Korean BBQ place, and a good time is had by all.

Except you.

Because you’ve made it your mission to win - to beat the current reigning champion of the past three years who stands on your lawn sipping what smells like hot cocoa and silently judging your decor choices like she didn’t put a massive inflatable pumpkin on the roof for Halloween.

She watches you the entire time you hang up the lights, carefully attaching them to the edge of the awning covering the front porch. It isn’t until your father pulls into the driveway and you’re done with the upper half completely - about to start the railing - and descending the ladder one careful step at a time that she speaks again.

“Those are hanging too low,” She tells you. She doesn’t seem to mind when you ignore her in favor of wrapping lights around the stair banister.

“Hey there, Yoonji!” Your father calls as he starts to unload the groceries. “What brings you to this part of town?” They both laugh at the joke and you force back a gag.

“Just hanging out,” She calls back. “Making sure your daughter doesn’t break her neck for some silly competition. You need help with those?” Your dad waves her off.

“I’m not that old, but thank you. Besides, it looks like you’re needed elsewhere.” He gestures with one bag-laden hand, and both you and Yoonji turn.

A large SUV pulls into the driveway across the street; the passenger door swings open before the vehicle even stops, and a girl - woman, really - launches herself out of the car. She’s across the street in record time, nearly tackling Yoonji to the snow with the force of her hug. Both look excited to see each other, a rare smile on Yoonji’s face that makes you burn with something that doesn’t feel quite like the usual rage.

The two are talking rapidly in your front lawn, too harried and chaotic for you to make out much of anything besides the fact that they missed each other. They look comfortable with each other in a way you’ve never been and you force yourself to remember that you don’t care . Even as you eye the way the newcomer’s hand sits just that little bit too low on Yoonji’s back.

The sounds of car doors closing and snow crunching draws your attention and you’re shocked to see another gorgeous girl making her way over. She looks as excited as the first, yet more subdued about it.

Likely because they’re on a lawn that decidedly does not belong to them, but you could be wrong there.

Both of the women are absolutely gorgeous, though, easily model material. The first has artfully styled dark hair that falls in perfect waves down her shoulders, and is delightfully curvy in all the places the world loves. Her cheekbones are to die for, makeup flawless, and you resist the urge to pluck at your own outfit, chosen for warmth over style.

The second woman is no different; not quite as thicc, as Jimin would say, but the figure suits her, as does the straight platinum hair that hangs down to her lower back. It’s stark against the black of her expensive-looking coat, and it only adds to the energy she carries that draws you in even as you wish it wouldn’t.

“Oh, how rude of me! These are my neighbors,” Yoonji says after a minute. You don’t miss the way she hesitates saying your name, or the almost predatory smiles the other two women get.

“So you’re the one,” The dark-haired one says. You don’t get a chance to question it before the blonde cuts her off.

“I’m Chungha,” She says with a friendly smile. “And this is Hyejin.”

“My friends call me Hwasa, though,” The brunette adds. “We hate to tear her away but it’s been ages since we’ve seen our girl.”

“You saw me like two weeks ago,” Yoonji mutters. You’re too caught off-guard by anyone calling Yoonji their ‘girl’ to respond, but you don’t miss the way her cheeks tinge pink from something that isn’t the cold.

“So we’re gonna steal her away now,” Hwasa continues, oblivious. You don’t protest, letting your father chat amicably while they say their goodbyes and you look between the girls.

Hwasa’s hand is still lingering on Yoonji’s lower back, something neither of them seem bothered by. That’s something that friends do, though, right? Jimin squeezes your ass constantly and the two of you definitely aren’t together.

You hear your name and a question but you can’t seem to really focus beyond a mumbled agreement to whatever you were asked. The way Chungha’s eyes glance over her companions feels like something more, but you can never really be sure. Not in this day and age.

But when they head back across the road to Yoonji’s house, Hwasa doesn’t hesitate to lace their fingers together. Yoonji lets her do it, and the glimpse of the grin and the flushed cheeks you see make your heart clench.

Paired with the way Chungha eyes the pair as she follows behind - a decidedly more than friendly gaze - and every alarm in your brain is going off. She looks ready to jump them both the second they get in the door.

“I’m impressed,” Your father says.

“I’m not done yet,” You tell him, turning back to the decorations sprawled across the lawn. “I’ve still got to-”

“No, no,” He interrupts. “Not the decorations. That you’re finally making strides to be nicer to Yoonji.” You stare blankly at him, not understanding what part of your attitude towards her said anything about being nicer.

And anyway, why shouldn’t she be nicer to you?

“The party…?” You blink at his words, looking in all respects like a startled rabbit. “The annual Min family holiday party? That they just invited you to? The one that you said you would attend?”

“I’m sorry, I did what. ”

“It just happened, sweetheart. I was standing right here for the entire thing.”

“No,” You tell him firmly. “No, because I would remember telling Min fucking Yoonji that I was going to her stupid holiday party.”

Your father just shakes his head. “Then perhaps we ought to get you a doctor’s appointment, sweetie, because I watched it all happen not five seconds ago.” He pats your shoulder, doing his best to show his solidarity for your sudden idiocy, and makes his way inside.

You spin to watch him go, all the potential protests and complaints clogging together in your throat and leaving you silent. He gets to the bottom step before you’re storming angrily back to your decorations, because whatever , you’ll go to the stupid party.

Yoonji can have her dumb holiday party with those overhyped cookies your father always raves about. She can have her caroling and her sing-a-long that your mother adores. She can even have her two super hot model girlfriends, because you’re a modern woman, and sometimes that’s what a relationship is. Whatever. It’s her prerogative. You don’t care. It is not going to affect you, or your decorating, at all.

You scream a little when the icicle lights you so carefully hung knock against your father’s head on his way inside.

[Three Years Ago]

“You look like you’re struggling,” a voice says behind you.

They aren’t wrong, either. You’re balanced precariously atop the porch roof your parents’ new hours, hanging garland off the edges so your dad doesn’t have to do it himself.

You turn to see who’s talking to you - especially since you don’t actually know anyone, this being your first visit to the neighborhood - and very nearly have to hold on to the edge beside you to stop yourself from falling off.

The man that stands on your parents’ front walkway is easily the most beautiful you’ve seen - a casual elegance to his stance that you’ve not seen outside of celebrities. His leather jacket looks warm and comfortable while remaining stylish, and the all-black underneath suits him while highlighting the lithe form. All of it is perfectly complemented by the mop of jet-black hair tucked under a knitted beanie, and you can’t help but wonder what kind of neighborhood your parents have moved to, when models are just walking around the streets.

“Uh…” You would kick yourself for sudden ineloquence if you thought you could without falling straight on your ass. The guy bites back and obvious smile, ducking his head for a moment to do so.

“I haven’t seen you around before,” He calls as he looks back up at you. “Did you move in recently?”

“No, I don’t live here.” He raises a brow and you huff. “It’s my parents’ place. I’m just doing their decorating for them.” The guy nods and starts to say something else, but he’s cut off before he can.

“Jimin-ah, what are you doing?” You look back to the garland as someone else walks up, some girl based on the quick glimpse you get while tugging on a strand that doesn’t want to untangle. You give them some semblance of privacy as the guy - Jimin - relays to her everything you’ve said so far. It only strikes you as a little odd that he’s being so detailed; she could be a jealous girlfriend, for all you know.

“Oh,” the girl says, tone as dry as the dead leaves piled in the corner of the yard, “Is this supposed to beat me somehow?”

“Yoonji,” Jimin scolds under his breath.

“Sorry,” You say, standing up to your full height. It’s a considerable distance considering you’re still on the porch roof. “But what is that supposed to mean? Is there some kind of competition I don’t know about?”

“Oh,” Yoonji repeats, surprise evident in her voice this time as she eyes you. You take the opportunity to do the same, and you’re glad the nip in the air already turned your cheeks pink because fuck.

Yoonji’s god damn gorgeous. She’s slightly taller than the average girl, even in the winter boots she’s wearing, but she wears the height well; her shoulders are straight and her chin has a natural upward tilt to it, like she’s used to looking down at people in more ways than one. She’s not dressed fancy - just thick leggings and an oversized sweater - but she looks like she belongs in a commercial or something. Her hair is similar to Jimin’s - pitch black and soft - but hers is glossier, more like a cat’s coat; her cheeks are pink from the cold, her lips are slightly parted and invite too many thoughts about if they’re as soft as they look, Even in such casual circumstances, she’s radiant, even as she says-

“That explains a lot.”

It takes a second longer than you’d like to admit for your brain to resume function, but when it does, you huff with indignation.

“Excuse me?” You hiss. “What, are my decor choices not good enough for whatever this competition is?”

“No,” Yoonji says slowly, cocking a brow, and you see red - and it isn’t the lights from the house across the street. You don’t even let her continue before you’re defending yourself.

“Well I’m sorry that not all of us can decorate like they just stepped out of...of…Better Homes And Gardens, or some shit like that. Some of us focus more on making sure we like our decorations and that they actually mean something instead of just doing things for the aesthetic .”

Yoonji mutters something under her breath but you can’t make it out; it’s lost among the breeze that kicks up and the soft sound of laughing that Jimin is trying desperately to muffle. You huff a little and return to your mission of dragging the garland up on top of the roof, a new determination filling your chest.

“Shouldn’t your boyfriend be doing this?” Yoonji asks, crossing her arms over her chest and cocking a brow. You freeze. You can hear Jimin’s quiet inhale, and when you look up, he’s got his lips puffed out like that meme of that guy doing the duckface. You let your hand rest on your hips and give this girl the best glare you can - which you have to admit is quite powerful when you need it to be.

Like now, when this random super hot girl is judging you for being single and also assuming you’re interested in men. The nerve of her.

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” You tell her firmly. She frowns a little, and you wish the expression wasn’t so cute.

“Why not?”

You scoff. “ Because,” You tell her firmly, “Not only am I happy by myself and don’t need someone else to be complete, I happen to prefer women. You may be happy with a member of the opposite sex,” You wave at where she and Jimin stand close together and return to trying to pull up the piece of garland that’s probably stuck on something, “But I tend to lean the other way.”

Yoonji just arches a perfect brow at you, but she at least doesn’t bust out laughing like Jimin does.

“Oh man,” He says, wiping tears from his eyes as he stumbles forward, “Imagine looking at us and thinking we’re straight. Oh my god, imagine, can you believe-”

“So why don’t you have a girlfriend doing this then?” Yoonji asks. Her cheeks are a little redder, but you’re pretty sure it’s just from the cold. “Wouldn’t it be better?”

“Because I’m a strong,” You heave another string of garland up, “Independent,” heave, “Woman!” You give one last tug on the garland and it flies loose, sending you landing back on the flat of your ass atop the porch roof. It doesn’t hurt too bad other than the fact that you can see a smile playing on Yoonji’s lips and your pride has already taken a few hits.

“Well then,” Yoonji says, patting Jimin’s arm and stepping back, “We’ll stop distracting you, Miss Independent.” She and Jimin walk across the street, and you pretend not to notice the way she looks back every so often.

[Today]

“No, it needs to be taller.”

“Sweetheart if it’s any taller, it won’t fit in the house.”

You send your mother a frustrated glance and shake your head. “It will, it just needs to be the right height and shape.”

“Why can’t we just get a fake tree? They’re so much easier to move and put together, wouldn’t that be better?”

“No,” You hiss, scandalized. “Real trees are better overall for the environment, not to mention how you can’t manufacture the smell of pine trees that come with them that set the entire atmosphere. Plus this nursery uses the profits to plant more trees both here and in areas that suffer with deforestation. It’s for a good cause.”

“And that’s why we had to get here at five in the morning?” Your mother asks sarcastically.

“Yes,” You reply firmly, “Because otherwise all the good trees will be gone and we’ll be forced to choose from the leftovers.” Your mother mumbles something else under her breath, but you don’t hear it. You’re distracted because there it is. The perfect tree.

You’re two steps away from your perfect tree - tall, evenly spaced, full branches, well balanced, with the perfect shade of evergreen - when you hear her.

“It’s over here,” Yoonji’s voice echoes. “I need the perfect tree, and it’s the best one I’ve found in years.”

You ignore the way your mother lights up and shush her when she tries to call out to Yoonji. You listen closer; your nemesis is still talking, something about needing a tree for someone - which, who leaves tree shopping to the last minute? The only reason you’re here is that you got in late because of the weather - but her voice is definitely getting closer.

Panicking, you look at your tree. If Yoonji sees it, it’s definitely over. It’s perfect, there’s no way she’ll want any other, and what Yoonji wants, she gets.

The only real explanation for what happens next is that you’re running on four hours’ sleep and Yoonji tends to make you a little stupid.

“Get the other side,” You whisper to your mom. She stares at you and doesn’t move. “Hurry up, before they get here!”

Your mother watches for a few seconds as you wrap your arms around the tree, getting pricked in the face with pine needles as you do, and start to tug. It’s a heavy tree, and it’s only just started to shift when the voices get closer.

“Seriously?!” You exclaim in a harried whisper to your mom. “Not even a push?!”

“You’re trying to steal a tree,” Your mother says. “From a nursery that gives to charity. I’m not helping with that.”

“I’m gonna pay for it later!” Your mother sighs and starts pushing halfheartedly on the other side of the tree.

“Shit, no, I meant-” Your words are cut off by a grunt as you manage to catch the tree before it falls entirely. It’s heavy against your shoulder, and of course that’s when Yoonji turns the corner, followed by the broadest man you’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing. Both stop in their tracks at the sight of you.

“Hey Seokjin.” You say, faking a laugh. “How are you? Haven’t seen you this year. Business good?”

“Yeah,” He says, cocking a brow, “When people don’t try to run off with our trees.”

“Who? Me? I would never!” The tree starts digging into your shoulder and your legs tremble. “I just thought I’d load it up for you, y’know, save you the trouble.”

“Oh did you?” There’s amusement in Seokjin’s voice as he fiddles with his ring. “You know our policy, you have to pay before loading.”

You start to stammer out some bullshit about him being busy but you’re only halfway through the excuse when Yoonji says your name.

“It’s alright,” the woman says with a bored voice. “She was loading it up for me. That’s the tree I was coming to show you anyway.”

The weight finally overtakes you, and you crumble under it. You manage to twist so that nothing important is trapped under the trunk, but you get a faceful of needles for your efforts.

“Maybe you should do it, though, Jin,” Yoonji says. “It looks a little much for the poor dear.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Seokjin huffs. He pulls the tree off of you with what looks like little effort, hefting it over his shoulder so the base drags the ground. “Where are you parked, Yoonji?”

“Load it onto their car,” Yoonji responds. Both you and your mother stare at her in shock. “Consider it an early Christmas present.”

“Oh, well isn’t that sweet of you,” Your mother coos. She points the way to Seokjin and the two head off, chatting amicably as they go.

You narrow your eyes at Yoonji where she stands, not even offering to help you up from the snow where you still lay.

“What’s wrong with it?” You ask. All she does is quirk a brow. “The tree. Why are you giving it to me? You wouldn’t unless there was something wrong with it. So what is it? Termites? Leaking too much sap? What?”

Yoonji shrugs. “You wanted it,” She says simply. Your blood boils, and she steps back like she doesn’t even notice.

“You aren’t even going to help me up?” You call as she starts to walk away.

“Good try, Miss Independent,” She calls back. “I think Jungkook’s still in the office if you need him.”

You half-scream a growl as you flop your head back into the snow. A pout forms as you watch the sky start to color with the sunrise.

You’re going to have to throw away your perfect tree.

[Two Years Ago]

It’s the day of the contest. You’re confident in your decor choices this year, even if you couldn’t get every single thing you had in mind, you decide as you wander the neighborhood to scope out the competition. Last year you went simple and got second place, and you’ve switched it up this year. All out with the best decorations possible.

You’re going to win. Losing isn’t an option, not again. Not when you were beat by her.

It doesn’t matter, you remind yourself as you turn the corner onto your parents’ street. Your decorations are as good as they can be.

Your mood sours a little when you see a figure in the yard across from yours, but the soft beanie and oversized hoodie cheer you up once you notice them.

“Yoongi!” You call with a smile. The man turns and gives you a gummy grin. “I didn’t know you were in town!”

“Yeah, we got in late last night. Kinda crashed once we did. Then someone dragged us all out to the store early this morning.” He rolls his eyes and you laugh.

“Well the house looks good. Not as good as mine, obviously,” You tease, “But good.”

“Yeah, you might win this year. Yoonji’s got some good competition.”

You sniffle a little, doing your best to contain your distaste for his twin.

The Min twins, nearly identical save for the fact that they aren’t the same gender, are easily the best and worst things about the neighborhood. Worst because of that pompous priss Yoonji, obviously.

Best because Min Yoongi is one of the sweetest people you’ve ever known even if he is a bit shy. You met him last year, when he’d carried in an obscene amount of groceries for your mother and you’d almost mistaken him for his sister. You’d made him coffee to say thanks, the two of you talked, and you’ve been friends ever since.

“No Jimin?” You ask him. He gestures vaguely to the roof, where you can see a small blue hat bopping around. “Ah. I take it you aren’t finished yet, then.”

“Do you know any other reason my sister would have my boyfriend on the roof?” You share a grin with him as you both watch a strand of lights fly off somewhere. “Apparently she needed to make some last minute adjustments. That’s why she dragged us all out to the store, to hunt down some stuff for her.”

“Oh, did you happen to see one of those big dancing snowmen? The one that plays music, you can control it all from your phone? I looked everywhere and couldn’t find one, it’s the one thing I was missing. Had to use an inflatable yeti instead.” Yoongi frowns.

“Huh, how weird. That’s what we were-”

“I got it all ready, it just needs to be plugged in.”

Yoonji strides out from the house - looking as good as ever in some plaid pants, how dare she - and stops dead when she looks up and sees you.

“What are you doing here?” She snaps, and you scoff.

“Visiting a friend,” You respond with a nod towards Yoongi. You take a glance at the phone in her hand, then up to where you can see Jimin standing up a snowman. “Did you seriously steal my idea?!”

“What? No.”

“Really. Because I distinctly remember telling Jungkook about this yesterday while I was picking up my tree and you were right beside him talking to Seokjin. I was even going to put it on the roof so everyone could watch it dance to Pentatonix covers.”

“Like I would listen when you talk,” Yoonji says. Yoongi sighs but you can barely hear it over the flood of rage.

“Y’know what? Get fucked,” You tell her as you storm out of their yard and back to your parents’ house.

“I guess you won’t be coming to the holiday party then?” She calls over the road. You send her a rather vulgar hand gesture in return that you hope your parents don’t see. By the time you get inside, the snowman is playing a Mariah Carey Christmas song and you kind of want to set it on fire.

You do not win the competition that year.

[Today]

Maybe you should have listened to your parents when they said not to drive today. Probably you should have taken the big ass truck that your father keeps in the garage specifically for when the weather is bad, because it’s got that fancy four wheel drive and traction control and all sorts of stuff meant to keep people safe in the middle of floods and monsoons and blizzards. You definitely should have remembered to charge your phone before you left the house.

Especially considering that your car isn’t great in the snow now falling gently from the sky to land on your hood, mixing with the smoke pouring out from under it.

You’re lucky you managed to drift to the side of the road and get your hazard lights on, but that’s where said luck runs out. Your phone is dead, it’s several miles back to the house, even further than that to town, and the temperature is already dropping into dangerous territory.

You’ve been sitting here for three hours, though, tucked inside the residual warmth of your car with spare blankets wrapped around you as you watched night fall. You’re not sure what else you can do. There aren’t any wild animals around here, or anything like that, but it’s definitely too dangerous to trek back to the house.

“I should’ve just walked back earlier,” You groan as you bundle the blankets closer. “At least it was warmer then. Stupid car, stupid car, stupid me , didn’t charge your stupid phone, how dumb am I.”

Your tirade against yourself continues for several minutes and includes a few very crafty curses that would make your mother gasp. You’re in the middle of another when lights shine into your mirrors, nearly blinding you.

The lights slow and come to a stop behind your car. A door shuts and you scramble to exit, ready to get on your knees and beg whoever it is to give you a ride to literally anywhere that has heat.

It takes a second too long for you recognize the shiny purple jeep and the elegant black peacoat backlit by the headlights, and by the time you do, she’s already got an angry snarl on her face.

“What the fuck are you doing out here?” She demands. You shiver in response and glare at her.

“Oh, just hanging out, thought I’d take a little nap beside the road in the freezing cold, the usual y’know,” You bite back. She rolls her eyes and starts back towards her jeep. You frown, watching her, and she stops with one foot inside and her hand on the door.

“What are you waiting for?” She asks. You shrug, and she huffs. “Get in the fucking car, I’m taking you home before you turn into an icicle.” You don’t move and her frown deepens. “Fine, but if you die out here, I’m not the one that’s going to tell your parents it was because you were too stubborn to accept a ride.”

Guilt gnaws at you, and with a frustrated huff, you stomp your way over to the passenger side of her jeep and climb inside.

She’s careful as she drives, you notice. Long fingers wrapped tight around the wheel, jaw tensed so hard it could be stone, and one arm leaned against the window after she’s finished turning the heat up as high it will go.

It’s not even been five minutes when she tosses a thick, fleece-lined blanket at you. You look at her, ready to be pissed off, and she cuts you off before you can complain.

“Your teeth are chattering so loud that I can’t hear myself think. Try not to get hypothermia before we get there, okay?” You huff a disbelieving laugh but curl into the warmth of the blanket anyway. It feels almost too-warm, like when you pull clothes out of the dryer, but it’s a comfort against your freezing skin.

“Why are you even here? You aren’t heading back from town, you’re not heading to town. Do you just drive around looking for lost girls?”

“No,” She says carefully, hand tightening around the wheel. It’s all she says for a full minute before she sighs. “Your parents got worried.”

“What?! ”

“They said you went to town to pick up some salt for the sidewalk and drive, and that it had been hours, and that they hadn’t heard from you again even though you took your phone. They were scared that something had happened, so I…”

Your sarcastic response dies on your tongue when you look at her. Really look.

Her shoulders are tense and set, in a way you haven’t seen before. Her brows are creased, and the pretty lips you refuse to acknowledge are set in a thin line and turned down at the corners. There’s something fizzling in the air between the two of you, something new and unknown.

“...Were you worried about me?” You ask quietly. She shoots you a look and then laughs, a second too late with not enough amusement.

“Drink that,” She says, gesturing to a thermos. “It’s coffee, it’ll help you warm up a little.” You take the thermos, thoroughly enjoying the warmth it provides your hands, and take a sip. You don’t know why, but you’re surprised when it’s the exact way you like it. You shoot her a thoughtful look, wondering just how else she might surprise you.

The rest of the ride is quiet, only the lull of the engine and the tires. Neither of you talk much; perhaps because she’s too angry, but you’re too distracted by your own thoughts to say much.

There’s no way, right? The two of you hate each other, you have since you met. It tints all your interactions, colors every single conversation where either of you are even mentioned, it’s one of the basic facts of the universe.

So why, as Yoonji pulls into your parent’s driveway and smiles at where they stand watching from the window, do you have a feeling like maybe you’re wrong?

[One Year Ago]

“Really? Inflatables?”

You scowl and turn, already prepared. There stands Yoonji, arms crossed. The weather is fairly mild for the season, and she’s taking advantage of that. High waisted shorts, an off-the-shoulder top, lace-up boots, leather jacket, she looks like every rebellious lesbian you’ve ever dreamt about, and it only makes you hate her more.

“Yes, inflatables. Because some of us like a little fun. Besides, you stole my dancing snowman last year, and I wanted something you aren’t going to rip off.”

“I didn’t steal your-”

“Whatever,” You interrupt, not wanting to even bother to listen. “Don’t you have someone else to bother?”

She starts to say something else, but the slam of the front door cuts her off. You turn and grin, waving.

“Tae! C’mon, put it over here!”

Taehyung smiles and makes his way over, inflatable deer in his hands. Yoonji’s silent as he gets there and sets the animal where you direct. When he’s finished he turns to you, boxy smile and all, to make sure he’s good, and glances at Yoonji.

“Oh, you didn’t say you had a friend over,” He whines. “Now I’m being rude. Hi, I’m Kim Taehyung.”

Yoonji doesn’t answer, merely eyes with distaste the hand he’s got extended.

“Right. Well then, I’m gonna go get the fawn, alright? Be right back.” He smiles at you, and you watch as he jogs back into the house.

“I thought you only brought Namjoon with you this year.” You turn at Yoonji’s words.

“No, Tae came as well. It’s a good thing, too, because Joon is utterly useless now since he met Yoongi and Jimin. Little punks stole my best friend.” You’re only mostly kidding. You’re happy for Namjoon - he’s been somewhat lonely these days, and now he’s got not one but two handsome men vying for his affection.

It does reinforce your own loneliness, though.

“I thought you liked girls.” You look back at Yoonji and notice she’s got a small pout on her face. It’s cute.

“I do like girls.”

“Then why is Taehyung here?” The way she says his name is full of spite, and it makes you laugh.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize that I had to get your permission when I want to bring my friends and loved ones up to visit my parents for the holidays.” You adjust the inflatable deer, posing it so that it looks like it’s glaring at Yoonji’s house in anger.

Taehyung comes back out before Yoonji can say anything. He’s got his jacket off now, and he does look good in the simple white shirt and the headband that makes his hair look even fluffier than usual. You just really can’t focus on anything but the inflatable fawn he’s got tucked under one arm and the matching rabbit tucked under the other.

Yoonji’s eyes narrow ever so slightly, and you roll your eyes.

“You need another deer,” She spits before she turns around and stomps back to her house. Taehyung shoots you a look.

“I take it that’s Yoonji, then,” He says with a laugh. You make a puking sound and he tuts at you. “You’re supposed to be nice. That is not nice.”

“Yeah, well, she didn’t steal your dancing snowman, did she?”

Across the street, you can see Yoonji fuming as she stands on the porch, talking to Yoongi about something or other. They both look over and while your first instinct is to turn around like you haven’t been watching them, you resist. Instead, you give Yoongi a bright wave. He doesn’t return it but his frown lessens slightly, though that could be because Jimin stumbles, laughing, out of your parents’ house with Namjoon not far behind him.

Both of them have hearts in their eyes, and it only gets worse when they look at Yoongi.

“That’s disgusting,” Taehyung says with a wrinkle of his nose. “Eugh, they’re so couple-y and gross. Remind me not to come next year if Namjoon’s here.”

“Oh no,” You tell him with a grin as you wrap him in a hug. He’s warm and solid against you, as he always is, and you thoroughly enjoy it. “If I have to struggle, you do too.”

“Fine,” He whines dramatically. “But I’m bringing Hobi so he has to suffer, too.” You laugh and set him to work organizing the inflatable animals. There are eyes on your back the entire time, but you refuse to turn around and give Yoonji the satisfaction.

Especially once you realize that you do need another deer to make it look balanced and perfect.

[Today]

The holiday party is well underway by the time you arrive at Yoonji’s, however reluctantly you do so. Your mother and father disappear almost immediately, sucked into conversations with people they’ve known for years now; Tae and Hobi are tucked into a corner, nursing glasses of cider while they look at the rather extensive Winter Village display on the Mins mantle; Namjoon has been here for hours already, and is no doubt locked away in Yoongi’s room with the man himself, and Jimin, and you choose to believe that they’re having some philosophical discussion and not doing anything else.

You think you catch a glimpse of Jungkook amidst the people from the neighborhood, but by the time you get to where he was, there’s no sign of him, or the broad-shouldered man he’s usually with. Abandoned in the kitchen, you pour yourself some cider and spike it with a hint of rum, just to get you through the night.

“Where’s your boyfriend?” A voice says.

When you turn, you find Hwasa perched on the countertop, Chungha leaning back between her legs. Both are watching you curiously, and both look absolutely fantastic in figure-hugging dresses and tights and heeled boots. They look like they just stepped off a runway, but the look in their eyes feels more like a panther than a model.

“What boyfriend?” You ask eventually.

“Tall, great chest, soft hair,” Hwasa says. When you just stare at her, she smiles a little. “Boxy smile.”

“Oh, Tae?” You laugh a little. “He isn’t my boyfriend. I’m not even interested in him like that, he’s just my best friend.” The two women share a look and Chungha kisses her cheek before heading out of the room. Hwasa eyes you and you have the distinct feeling you’re being judged.

You thought you looked okay when you picked out the simple but nicer outfit; black sweater, maroon skirt, tall black boots. It’s classy but casual. You’re sure of it.

At least you were.

“So tell me about this thing with Yoonji,” Hwasa eventually says. You nearly choke on your cider.

“I mean...there’s not much to tell. We’ve hated each other ever since we met four years ago.”

“Oh?” Something lights up in her eyes that you don’t particularly like.

“Look, no offense to you or your girlfriend, Yoonji’s just...kinda mean for my tastes. I guess some people are into that.”

“Elaborate.” Her tone leaves no room for argument, and you find yourself explaining before you can stop. You tell her nearly everything, about all the shit Yoonji’s done to you, and by the time you’re finished, she’s actually smiling.

“Like...I’m sure you love her and all, otherwise you wouldn’t be dating her, but-”

“What? ” She nearly falls off the counter, she’s laughing so hard, and when you start to help steady her, she just waves you off. “No, sweetie, I’m dating Chungha, not Yoonji.”

“I thought you were dating both of them? Did you all break up?”

“Oh my god , she wasn’t kidding,” Hwasa says breathlessly, still fighting back giggles. “Holy shit, this explains so much. Ha, oh my god, no, we never were dating Yoonji, she’s just our best friend. Like you and that Taehyung guy?”

“Oh.” You feel foolish; it makes sense, friends can be just as physically close as romantic partners. You and Taehyung are proof enough of that. “I...just assumed…”

“I know, but you’re definitely wrong. You drink more cider, stew on that, maybe rethink things from another perspective, I’ve got to tell Chungha about this, it’s too good.” Hwasa hops off the counter with ease and disappears out the door before you can ask her to explain what she means about other perspectives. You can hear giggles as they slowly drown in the chatter of the party and the soft carols playing over the speakers.

You stay in the kitchen for a while, nursing your cider and thinking. If Yoonji doesn’t have two model-hot girlfriends, then could you have been onto something in the jeep that night? You’ve hated her for so long, and assumed that she hates you in return, but if you were wrong about the girlfriends, then maybe you’re wrong about that, too.

Something enters your vision and you look up, nearly spitting out your drink as you do.

Yoonji stands in front of you, in a slinky green velvet dress that she keeps tugging the bottom of. It doesn’t look like anything she usually wears, down to the floral lace tights and the wedge heels that make her even taller than she already is, and she looks slightly uncomfortable if the burn in her cheeks is any indication.

The worst part is that she looks good. Like, good good. It suits her, even if it isn’t her usual style, and for once you can’t deny the attraction swirling within your stomach.

“What are you wearing?” She asks angrily, glaring down at your clothes like they kicked her dog - whom you have not seen tonight, which is a travesty, because you adore Holly. A cough echoes from somewhere behind the two of you, and Yoonji wrinkles her nose. “I mean...I like...your outfit.”

You quirk a brow at her and set your cider down on the counter nearby. “Really? Because it looks like you want to tear it off and then set it on fire.” Something complicated happens with her expression and a spark ignites in your mind.

“Are you sick?” She asks. Her face does something else complicated as a groan echoes from nearby, and something painful twists in your stomach. You really didn’t think you looked that bad. “I mean, after the other day. With the snow. And the cold. Are you sick?”

“Is...this your way of telling me I look ill?” You ask her. She frowns. “Because if wanted me to leave your party, all you had to do was say that, you don’t have to insult me.” You head toward the door of the kitchen and there’s a scrambling that sounds much too loud for just her friends.

So your friends are also eavesdropping. Fantastic. Now everyone knows she’s insulted you. Just what you needed tonight.

Her hand catches your wrist as you’re about to leave the kitchen. “I didn’t mean it like that,” She mumbles, not making eye contact. “I just...wanted to make sure you were feeling okay. It was really cold that night, and you were out there for a long time.”

“So, what, you suddenly care? Why? Because you don’t want to win by default or something?”

“No, because I-” She cuts herself off with a groan, and you’re glad there are so many people around, because it seems like everyone’s distracted with something else. They’re too busy to notice this absolutely disastrous conversation.

“Hey look,” Taehyung says, appearing from nowhere and pulling roughly on Yoonji’s arm until she’s standing beside you in the doorway. “Mistletoe! How random! Guess you have to kiss!”

“That’s a stupid tradition,” Yoonji spits, and you’re inclined to agree with her. “Forcing people to kiss just because of some plant? How is that okay? Besides, it’s got nothing to do with the actual myth behind it, and-” She sounds like she could go on forever, but you cut her off.

“And it’s not like we want to kiss anyway.” Her grip on your wrist slackens, and you turn to look at her. Uncertainty fills you as you look at her expression, because the only word that comes to mind is crestfallen. “Right?”

“I...I mean…” Taehyung disappears as Yoonji searches for words, and you just know he’s hanging out somewhere nearby to watch it all happen.

“Because we’re nemeses.” You say slowly. “We hate each other.”

“Do we?” Yoonji asks quietly, threading her fingers through yours. “Do you?”

“Don’t you? ” You ask her. “You’ve been nothing but rude to me since we met. You’ve insulted me, and stolen my decorating ideas, and-”

“No,” She says quickly. “No, I never meant any of it like that, you just never gave me a chance to explain. You’re...you’re so pretty, and I always get flustered around pretty people, and I say the wrong things.”

“You told me I wasn’t as good if I didn’t have a significant other the first time we met.”

“I was trying to figure out if you were interested in women, and when you said you were, I just...panicked, because I figured you had someone, because you’re…” She gives a wave to your general being.

“You stole my dancing snowman.”

“I did not! I heard someone talking about a dancing snowman at the tree nursery, and I didn’t realize it was you, and I thought, since I couldn’t stop thinking about you, I’d get a dancing snowman that would play this cheesy playlist thing I made for you. I didn’t know you were looking for it, and I didn’t steal your idea. Not on purpose, anyway.”

“Okay, well...last year you were so rude! And you said you wouldn’t listen when I talked!”

“I thought…” She trails off, looking ashamed. “I thought you were dating Taehyung, and I got jealous. But the listening comment wasn’t like that! It’s because I always zone out because I like to listen to you talk, because your voice is so pretty, but I never hear what you actually say, and also you just...are really pretty. So I get distracted.”

“I…” You’re rather speechless; your entire world has shifted on its axis. “I thought you hated me.”

“Never.” Yoonji insists. “I just don’t know how to talk to pretty girls.”

“You hang out with Hwasa. And Chungha.”

“Yeah, and?” Her brows furrow. “What’s your point?” If you could, you would keysmash at her, but as it stands, you just gape.

“Uh, they’re literally model gorgeous?”

“Oh, are they?” She looks down at where your fingers are still entwined with hers. “I hadn’t noticed.”

You blink at her, and she looks up at you. There’s a faint smile playing on her lips, and something bright in her eyes that you haven’t seen before.

“I’m sorry,” You say, shaking your head. “I just still don’t-”

“Will you shut up?” Yoonji asks, free hand coming to gently glide across your cheek. “And let me kiss you?” Your jaw shuts with a snap and you nod.

Her lips are soft against your own, and your breath catches in your throat as you return the kiss. Her hand moves to grip your jaw, tilting your head ever so slightly so the two of you fit together that little bit better, and your hands come to rest on her hips.

Electricity sparks through you to her. She pulls back just a little and you’re distracted by the way her tongue darts out to wet her lips.

“This might be moving a little fast, since we hated each other an hour ago-”

“You hated me an hour ago,” She corrects.

“But I would be very, very happy taking this to a more private area so I can express to you just how apologetic I am that I thought you hated me.” You tear your gaze from her lips to look at her face. Her eyes are dark, pupils blown out at the mere thought.

“Upstairs,” She growls, already pushing you in the direction of the staircase. You’re both speeding through the crowd of people as fast as you can without being obvious, and you have to help her every few feet because she’s wobbly in her heels, but by the time you make it up the stairs and into her room, you’re both desperate.

Her mouth meets yours with a fire behind it that you’ve never felt before, and you hardly even get the door closed before she pushes you back against it. Your tongue darts along the seam of her lips and she grants you entrance, and you could moan at just the taste of her if you were just a little weaker.

“Do you know how many times I’ve thought about this?” She whispers, moving to nip at your neck. Her hands are under your sweater and you don’t even remember them getting there, but you can’t complain as they move to cup your breasts and tweak your nipples through your bra. “Can you even imagine how many times I’ve dreamt of touching you? Tasting you? Hearing you moan?”

She bites, hard and rough, and you can’t stop the moan that escapes you. How she possibly knows that you like that is something you don’t have the energy to ponder, nor the will to question.

“Please,” You breathe, hands tangling in her hair as she sucks a mark into the skin of your throat. She’s slotted between your thighs and your hips are rutting against hers ever so slightly, desperate for some friction. You know you’ve already soaked through your panties, which is a feat considering all she’s done is play with your nipples a little and kiss you like you’ve never been kissed.

“What is it, angel?” Her voice is deeper than usual, roughened by the desire coursing through your veins and hers, and it only makes you wetter. “What would you like me to do?”

“Anything,” You plead. “Please, just touch me.”

“Anything?” Yoonji mutters. She chuckles, low and raspy and so unbearably attractive that you want to scream. You almost do scream, from frustration, when she pulls her hands away from your nipples, but she drops to her knees and you forgive her.

Yoonji kisses up your thighs, from the edge of your boots all the way to where the hem of your skirt hits mid-thigh, and her hands are warm as they slide underneath. She doesn’t stop kissing you, not even as she lifts the fabric of your skirt and nips at the crease where your thighs meet your hips. Still, she’s so far away from where you need her, that you can’t help your whine.

“Patience, angel,” She whispers as she glides one finger along your fabric-covered lips. Your hips rut forward on instinct, and she laughs a little.

“You stole my dancing snowman, you could at least be quick about this,” You mutter.

“What’s the fun in being rushed?” She leans forward to mouth at your pussy through your underwear and your legs tremble slightly. She’s gentle as her hands slide your underwear down to pool around your ankles, and even more gentle as they glide back up to rest on your thighs. “But I’ll be nice this time. Besides, I’ve been dreaming of what this pussy tastes like for years.”

Anything else you might say to her is cut off with a moan as her tongue starts to tease at your clit. One of your hands comes to rest on the back of her hair before you even realize you’ve moved, and she takes that as all the encouragement she needs.

Yoonji eats pussy like it’s the last meal she’ll ever have, and you’re in absolute awe. The way her tongue moves against you is absolute bliss, no matter where it is; she teases at your entrance, sliding the very tip of her tongue inside to gather your wetness before she runs the flat of it up to your clit, where she circles and sucks mercilessly before moving back down to thrust it in and out and in and out relentlessly. She coaxes an orgasm out of you faster than anyone else ever has, and even as your writhing against the door with her head under your skirt, she doesn’t stop.

Instead, she slides one long finger inside of you and keeps it there. She doesn’t move it, doesn’t even allow it to twitch, but it’s there and you can feel it as she wraps her lips around your clit and sucks, making your clench around her. She moans into your pussy, too, the entire time she’s at work between your legs, and it only turns you on more when you glance down to see her hand between her legs.

“Yoonji, please, I want, please, I wanna taste you too, please,” You beg, tugging gently on her hair until she pulls back. Her chin is covered in your cum and the sight is so unbelievably unerotic that you could probably come just from that.

“Take this off,” She growls, pulling on your skirt as she stands. You do as she says without hesitation, more than willing to get naked if it means getting your mouth on her, and by the time your boots are in the corner with the rest of your clothes, she’s just as naked as you are.

And god, she’s beautiful.

Your lips meet hers again as you push her towards the bed, and you can taste yourself on her tongue as it slides against yours. The two of you tumble onto the mattress and you situate yourself between her thighs. It isn’t until you’ve got her legs spread wide and your licking and sucking at her nipples that you register that her face is flushed with something new.

“What is it?” You ask, panting, as you detach from her - beautiful, wonderful, adorable, perfect - tits. “Do you not want me to? I don’t have to, I just would really like to, it’s up to you.”

“No, it’s not that, I’ve just never…” She trails off, looking embarrassed, and realization smacks you in the face.

“No one has ever gone down on you before?” You ask in disbelief. She shakes her head.

“I’ve always been the one to do so, all the other girls have been kind of...well. I’m usually the dominant one, so…”

“Yoonji, sweetheart,” You say seriously, pressing a kiss to her cheek with each word. “Will you allow to me to eat you out? Because seriously, those other girls are trash, and I would absolutely cherish the experience if it’s something you want.”

Her face turns even more pink and she nods. You press a quick kiss to her lips and gently spread her thighs so you have better access. You mimic her actions from earlier, pressing kisses to her thighs and the crease of her hips. When you finally get a taste of her, you moan.

She tastes like absolute fucking bliss, you decide as you glide your tongue through her folds. You could live off of nothing but the taste for her until the end of time itself, and the way she moves is amazing. Little jerks and thrusts, and her fingers tangle in your hair to push you closer even as her hips pull away slightly.

Your tongue rubs circles around her clit, flicking and licking and coaxing her closer and closer to her high. You dip down to fuck your tongue into her for a second or two, and the way her back arches is art in motion. You reach one hand up to tweak one of her nipples while your other arm remains wrapped around her hip like a steel bar, keeping her in place even as she grinds against your mouth.

You remember how it felt earlier when she wrapped her lips around your clit, so you mimic the action. Her bud fits perfectly between your lips, and when you suck on it, she tenses. Everything stops for a second, and you’re afraid maybe you ruined it, but then her whole body jerks, and she presses you hard against her. You lap up her essence as it comes, eager and more than willing, and when she finally stops spasming, you pull yourself away with a grin.

“Holy shit,” She mutters, and you laugh.

“I can’t believe no one’s ever eaten you out before,” You sigh, one hand sliding along her waist to massage her breasts. “Does that mean no one’s ever fucked you before either?”

“I mean…” You stop, staring at her with wide eyes. “I told you, I’m usually the dominant one, so most people don’t really...return the favor.”

“Can I please fuck you?” You ask in a rush. “Please, I promise I’ll be gentle.” She huffs a little, and you think it’s amused but you can’t be sure, because she’s spreading her legs again and your focus is elsewhere.

“Yeah, angel, you can fuck me.”

You lower yourself to kiss her, lingering and deep, and you don’t miss the moan she gives as she tastes herself on your tongue. You wait until she’s thoroughly distracted by the way your mouths move, then glide your fingers over her.

Her clit is still sensitive, based on the way she jumps as you ghost your fingers over it, so you avoid that. You don’t want to overwhelm her. She groans as you slide a single single finger inside her, and you moan.

Her walls are softer than the velvet of her dress, and warm around you. She’s tight, too, so incredibly tight that you aren’t sure you’ll be able to fit another inside her. She moans as you slide your finger out and then back in, gathering more of her wetness as you do.

You’re careful as you fuck her, gentle and slow, and you think you could get addicted to it. Her hips move in time with your hand, gaining speed as you do. “Fuck, angel, it’s so good,” She whimpers. You smile.

“Let me know if it gets too much, okay?” She nods, and you start to slide a second finger in. Yoonji winces, just a little, so you slow until her hips rock against your hand.

“More,” She breathes. “Please, more.”

“As you wish,” You tell her. You still are gentle as you thrust into her, feeling her walls contract around you. It’s heaven, absolute perfection, and you tell her so as she grips onto the sheets.

You latch your mouth onto her nipple as you continue fucking her, biting and sucking as your fingers curl.

“I need, ah, please, I need more, I need, holy fuck, to come, I need to come,” She moans desperately. You grin and curl your fingers more, sliding them against her walls. You finally find what you’re looking for, that small spongey spot that has her convulsing around you.

“That’s right, baby,” You coo, “Come on, I know you want to.”

Her hands are in a death grip on your shoulders, and they only get tighter as you press harder against that spot inside her. She comes with a cry that you muffle with your own mouth, her body shaking as she lets go.

You slide your fingers out when she’s relaxed a little more, licking the taste of her off as she pants.

“Holy shit,” She breathes. You grin, peppering kisses along her stomach, up her chest, along her throat and over her cheeks. “Can we do that every day?”

“I dunno,” You tease. “Are you going to steal my dancing snowman again?”

She rolls her eyes and shoves at your shoulder, and you laugh.

“I’m just saying, you’re supposed to be nice to the people you like.”

“I’m bad at that, though,” She mutters. “I always just...say the wrong thing. I’m more of a do-er.”

“I’m still caught up on how I was supposed to know you liked me based on the things you did.”

“Really?” She huffs, glaring at you playfully. “I went tree shopping at five in the morning for you.”

“Yeah,” You say softly, grinning. “You did.”

25 Days of Christmas: A BTS Christmas Anthology

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coinofstone · 4 years ago

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2x13 The Last Dragonlord

I really appreciate that this picks up 2 days into the dragon's scourge. We were shown that Merlin knew what would happen if he set Khilgarrah free; he chose to do it anyway. There was no reason to pick up ten minutes later when everyone is scrambling trying to get a defense together while Uther demands to know how he got free. The little time jump that puts us right into the thick of it was exactly the right creative call imo.

Why IS the dragon going after Arthur? And how does nobody hear him yelling at Merlin about his magic?

Arthur taking off his gloves and sitting down in a pained relief while Uther goes off about 'rid ourselves of this aberration' is a mood. He's fighting off a damn dragon all night and then doing admin all morning while his dad is there all fresh and clean and conveniently ignoring the fact that it's HIS pet that's got out and is murdering people and destroying the castle. Like how about you do whatever you did to capture it in the first place, again?

Lol @ Gaius 'Bee tee dubs I've known who your pops is this whole time, he's not only alive but also a Dragonlord, which isn't something I thought fit to you tell you in all that time you were having campfire chats with the great dragon Uther's kept chained up in the basement for twenty years! Safe journey!'

Wtf with Arthur's magical moving bed. What were they thinking with that staging. Also, this is why you don't throw pillows at ppl. He throws his pillow at Merlin and now he must lay there pillowless.

Merlin's known his dad for five minutes and he's already lying to him about his boyfriend.

Balinor said, 'let Uther die, let Camelot fall' and Merlin is like, disappointed? But wtf did he expect? Dude lives in a cave cuz Uther's pursued him so far in an attempt to rid the world of Dragonlords. Like why would his indifference shock you?

Arthur's just blatantly flirting with Merlin in that campfire scene.

Merlin wins the award for 'most awkward and drawn out familial confession ever'

I do feel for Merlin. He's so awkward and hopeful and clearly romanticizing the perceived 'missing piece' in his life/upbringing, as tho it were a magic fix for everything that's ever gone wrong in his life. It's painful to watch, partly because Colin plays it so well.

Arthur and Merlin were gone for at least as long as the dragon had been attacking Camelot when they left. At the point when they retuned Camelot would've been under attack for the better part of a week. Kind of shocked Uther didn't have a bunch of knights turn deserters, thinking Arthur's been sent away to preserve the royal lineage.

Arthur's just blatantly flirting again. It's hard not to think he's being so free with his affection because he's fairly goddamn certain they're both going to die. I guess the argument could be made that facing a dragon who is literally burning your castle down around you might've just put things in perspective for Arthur - but really, I doubt it. They're heading back to a Camelot that's been under siege by an unkillable, fire- breathing, flying beast, for days, after having left the only man on earth who could've saved them, who refused to assist them. And Arthur is sitting there downright giddy teasing Merlin. That, my friends, is the *true* face of defeat. The further example is when Arthur is suiting up to go try and fight the dragon in a clearing outside the castle, and he's like, sort of trying to say goodbye to Merlin but also kind of flirting and playing up their usual banter - it's gallows humor, clearly. And the way he melts and doesn't even put up a token objection when Merlin says he's going with him. JUST MAKE OUT ALREADY but it's very much like that absurdist - I don't want to say nihilism, but essentially, acceptance that the odds are overwhelmingly NOT in their favor, and that they're probably going to die and nothing can be done to save them or Camelot. Once you reach that point, you've really only got two options: a) die mad b) live. Arthur really seems to be taking the latter approach, and I'm here for it.

Gotta admit, it was very courteous of Kilgharrah to come meet the knights in that clearing instead of just flying over them to take another pass at destroying the castle with Uther inside it.

That dragon said 'tonight, I'm have bbq knight'. Also I've always kinda given them shit because Leon supposedly went out with them for this, and all the knights lined up to get flambéd yet Leon is ever present in following seasons - but if you actually watch carefully it's Arthur, Merlin, and another knight that get knocked off their horses by the dragon's tail. I may or may not have rewound that part half a dozen times just now to be sure. Looks like two knights on the ground unconscious by Arthur's side.

So. Okay. I understand finding his dragon voice and I understand the whole inherent- language thing, I understand Merlin showing the dragon mercy and letting him go, I understand everything said between them and that's all fine. What I don't understand is how in the holy hell Merlin let him go without demanding answers. Answers to why he wanted to destroy all of Camelot, when he'd spent the last however many years helping Merlin save it, and save Arthur, in order to bring about their destiny. Answers to why he didn't just fucking kill Uther, why attack the lower town? Why attack Arthur who again, he'd repeatedly helped Merlin save, because he's supposed to bring peace and magic to Albion etc? Like HOW IN THE FUCK are you really just gonna let the fucker fly off without explaining himself? Maybe it's just me.

HC: Arthur was so relieved and elated when Merlin told him he'd dealt the dragon a mortal blow, Merlin came over to help him up off the ground but Arthur pulled him down and rolled him over in the grass instead.

Uther watching from the window like a maiden in a tower 🤦‍♀️ get fuuuuuuucked

Big season finale and no commentary track? 😕 probably cuz it was too gay to ignore the gay so they thought it best to just not say anything.

DVD extras in lieu of commentary track:

My favourite part of any of these BTS things are the little tidbits about the horses. And the terrible jokes.

I'm a little bit freaked out by how much Johnny Capps looks like my city councilman? I've never seen him before. If he was in the first season's extras I didn't notice him.

Why is "Cast and crew introduction to S2" on the last disc of the box set?

Googling instead of watching and I've discovered these guys did Atlantis after Merlin, which is a show I randomly started watching and fell in love with and was devastated when it got canceled so quickly.

The "secrets and magic" special feature seems to be an episode-by-episode BTS thing, which I wish I had known earlier as I would've just gone back and forth to watch the feature after the corresponding episode. Since it's too late for that now, and the runtime for the entire feature is nearly three goddamn hours, I'm just going to slog through one single separate post for the entire thing. It'll be posted late tonight or tomorrow. But I'm 1000000% checking the S3 extras BEFORE I start watching the season.

#bbc merlin #bbc merlin spoilers #merlin #merlin spoilers #merthur #2x13 #bbc merlin 2x13 #merlin 2x13 #the last dragonlord #onceandfuturerewatch

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jj-lynn21 · 5 years ago

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The Calling ch 4

Warnings: toxic masculinity, bi/gay characters, 70s key party scene

Notes: This went a little long. For those that want a little more intimacy with Sebastian Stan that will come in the last chapter, I promise. The story went in some surprising directions but I just went with it.

ch 1, ch 2 ch 3

First you shower, then you take a better look at the email. The costume requests a 70s style. Example photos are included. Burnt oranges, faded reds, hot pants, white and black paired with the burnt orange are the color scheme. Tired as you are you rip through your closet to find a few things that will hopefully do. You pack red hot pants paired with a white t-shirt, a wrap-around skirt with a fitted silky tank top with a jean jacket, and decide to put out a burnt orange romper you find in the back of your closet you never wear to wear there.

Then you finally crash for the night dreaming what a house party themed shoot would entail. Because of who you have already worked with your mind pairs Bill Skarsgard and Tom holland in crazy 70 cloths, Shirts unbuttoned. Lots of gold chains around their chests. Alcohol flowing as you chat about school, work or something even less significant the taste of the beer you are all consuming. As you get drank in this dreamland you are laying all over them. Their hands touching all parts of your body. Leaning closer in to take…your alarm goes off its 4am.

You get ready and head out the door with that ever-necessary caffeine buzz in hand. Its rainy and cold which just makes you feel more sluggish. But as soon as you pull up to park where the bright yellow signs say to it is game on acting face. You are not tired, even though your eyes say differently, you are ready to do whatever they need you to and be here as long as they keep you.

“Good morning everyone, I’m Shelly.” The woman that checked you in said to everyone. “We have donuts, coffee and breakfast burrito at the tables in the back. As soon as all the crew are done, we will tell you so you can have breakfast. Today we need extras for an elevator scene and the key party scene. If you don’t know what a key party was, it was a 70s swingers party where the men dropped their keys in a bowl when they arrived with their partner and the woman would pick keys on their way out and go home with whoever belonged with the keys. The director has personally chosen who she wants to include in these scenes so Markus will be calling for you when everyone is ready on set. Have a great day.”

The older gentleman at your table starts talking about him and a girl he dated had been to one of these parties in their 20s. They didn’t know it was a key party when their friends invited them. When they went to leave someone spoke up. His girlfriend didn’t participate but instead berated him in the car. They broke up soon after that not because of what the party was about but because she was always on his ass about things he liked, and she didn’t. He wasn’t really interested in a party like that so, when the same friends invited him and his current wife to a party at their house, he made sure to ask what kind of party it was before accepting the invite. You meet so many interesting people being an extra actor.

Marcus comes in with a clipboard and calls you and a blonde guy barely a foot taller than you, Vic you heard someone call him earlier, to walk to set with him. Everything was set up in the building you were in today. There was lighting and other equipment around an elevator. A key had it set to stay open.

“Step right in here,” Marcus said.

He positioned the two of you looking at each other holding hands.

“You two are a great couple.” He smiled. “Just get to know each other if you haven’t met yet. I think you will be working together in the other scene scheduled today. Anna Paquin and Sebastian Stan will be in here shortly.”

Marcus leaves the two of you alone. You interduce yourself and ask his name.

“I’m Vic, sweetheart.” He smirked. “I guess they put us together because I get to go home with something better at this key party scene.”

You rolled your eyes trying to ignore this guy that was coming off as a real asshole. You were stuck with him. At the other scene since you were supposed to be in such an open relationship it was your character that would be getting something better you thought.

Anna comes in the elevator in a red low V-neck shiny bathing suite type outfit. She also wears A sunhat, sunglasses and boots. You smile but turn away, so you are not distracting her while she is working. You are not there to chat up actors. Everyone has a job to do.

Vic turns to her, “Last time I saw you, you were naked on my TV banging some whine bitch vampire.”

She lowers her glasses, “That was a long long time ago. But I’m still fucking that sexy man and if I choose, I could have your girl too.”

“Oh, I just met this guy,” You chime in finally turning back to look at her. “I think he’s being extremely rude.”

“Alright, come with me sweetie,” Anna smiles and reaches for your hand. “You stay here for the time being.” She puts her finger in Vic’s face.

You go with her out of the elevator. Down the hall to anther room where the director sat at a desk.

“We have a problem with one of the extras being a fucking rude dick to me and this girl.” Anna said. “I’m sorry sweetie, what’s your name?”

You tell her your name. Then bite your inner lip nervously as the director stares at you and then looks to Anna.

“What did he say to you Anna?” She asked.

“He said something about seeing me naked fucking a vampire when he saw me last.” Anna spit the word like they tasted bad in her mouth. “I of course had a witty retort but men like that should not be employed here or anywhere in my opinion. I don’t care what I choose to do on film. The way he was talking to me was uncalled for. I won’t press charges, which I could for verbal abuse by a co-worker, but I want him gone.”

The director looks to you. “And you heard him?”

“Yes,” you said quietly. “And he was rude to me before Anna came in. Not exactly on the same level but I agree with what Anna said.”

“Ok, he’s out.” The director got on her walkie to tell the P.A. and Assistant casting director to send Vic home without pay. She would discuss the matter farther after the shoot wrapped today. “Now, is there another male extra you worked with before you could work with again today?” She looks to you.

“How do you know she wants to be with a guy.” Anna said. “Maybe she would be more comfortable with a woman.”

“Thanks Anna, but I haven’t gotten to know many of the woman here.” You said. “Rich um Richard is a friendly guy to work with. We already have a work friendship. I don’t know his last name, but he is wearing a light blue leisure suit.”

The director gets on the walkie again to call for Richard to meet at the elevator. “That should clear things up. Now let’s get this scene shot ladies.” She walks back to the elevator with you.

Sebastian Stan is there chatting with one of the crew members. They both look as the director said, “Let’s get this show on the road.”

Sebastian nods to Anna, “Hey Anna, who’s your friend?”

She introduces you as Richard is walking up with the P.A.. He just says, “hey.” More to you than anyone else.

Sebastian reaches his hand out for Richard to shake, “What’s up man? What’s your name since we will be working together.”

Richard looks nervous, “I’m Richard but everyone just calls me Rich.”

The A.D. shovels everyone into the elevator, “Enough chit chat. Time to work. You can chat at the wrap party tomorrow night at O’Brian’s. Now my extras just hangout in your little corner looking enamored with each other. I believe you have done that before together in another film. Anna and Sebastian do your thing.”

Anna stands in the corner of the elevator ogling Sebastian’s behind. Rich makes you giggle quietly in the other corner as he pretends to tell you a secret as his hand rest on the small of your back. Your hands are on his chest.

“Action.” The A.D. yelled.

Anna said, “Those beers for the party tonight, Peter?”

Sebastian said, “Yep.”

“I think My boyfriend and I will be coming tonight.” She said.

“I guarantee you will.” He walks out of the elevator.

“Cut,” The A.D. said.

You are doing your best not to burst out laughing at the cheesy suggestive dialogue. And you have to hold that laugh and to be all romantic with your friend in the elevator.

On the next take Richard whispers, “I don’t need to wait until the party. I’m going to come right here. He is too hot.”

Your giggle is louder. Cut is called. “Sorry,” you say.

You manage to control yourself for the next several takes. The scene is done shooting within a few hours which pasted by quickly in your mind. To much fun. Lunch is setting up when you and Rich are taken back to the holding room. You didn’t get much time with Sebastian who you agree with Rich was looking hot. But maybe he will talk to you at the wrap party the A. D. was talking about. You made a note on your phone to look up O’Brian’s in the area for tomorrow night.

After the BBQ lunch buffet, everyone was led downstairs to a house party set. The P.A. and A.D. set everyone up where they want them. Some sitting, some standing but all in groups of couples two to four with prop drinks in their hands. A table is covered with snacks and drinks. The A.D. takes you and Rich outside the door to the makeshift apartment door.

“You two will be the next couple through the door,” He said. “We will film you walking through a few times at different angles. Then film Sebastian’s character greeting you. Rich you toss the keys we give you in the bowl to the right as you enter. Just have fun with it like you really want to be at this party.”

You both nod. Rich slides his hand around your waist. The prop person hands him a set of keys. They film you walking to the door and Richard opens it but 5 time from different ankles. When the camera is right in front of your face it’s a little nerve racking, but you manage not to look at it. Then they film you coming in from the other side of the door about five times. Once a continuous shot to where Sebastian’s character walks up to you both after Rich tosses the keys in an empty fish bowl, Shakes Rich’s hand, hugs you and excuses himself as he looks towards the door. That doesn’t work very well.

They reset for you and Rich to walk over to Sebastian’s character and him to greet you both before his attention is taken towards the door. You film the greeting about ten times at multiple angles. You can’t see who has come through the door behind you but several of the couples seem excited to see them raising their glasses in a greeting. Maybe they were told to do that or that it would be natural in the moment.

Next you are told to go sit on the burnt orange chair together. You sit on Rich’s lap with prop beer to sip.

“You can react how ever you see fit within the context of the party scene when the next two actors come in the door to be greeted.” The A.D. said. “We will then move on to some music playing and the two of you will get up to slow dance. Once Anna grabs keys from the bowl and exits the room with Sebastian, you take the next key to exit the party with Alex who will be playing Ryan.”

“Cool,” you and Rich said.

Anna comes through the door with Alex Skarsgard. You almost drop your drink. Instead of letting your mouth drop wide you bite you lip and look to Rich. He looks as surprised and exited as you.

“You bitch, getting to trade me for him” He whispers. “I’m so jealous.”

Their entrance is film from all angles needed. Next Peter Frampton’s Baby I Love Your Way plays. Alex and Anna start to dance. You and Richard get up to dance. A few more couples do as Sebastian watches from the sidelines. They keep rolling as Sebastian walks up to take Alex’s place and Alex taps Rich on the shoulder to take his place. You thought Rich was going to pass out when Alex touched him. You kept a smile on your face as Rich went to sit down. You looked up at Alex with big eyes. After taking your hand to put around his neck Alex put his forehead to yours swaying to the song.

“Cut,” The A.D. yells.

Alex straightens up. “Hi, Princess. I’m Alex. Anna told me what the two of you went through earlier. I would like to apologize for the assholes of my gender. I hope the rest of your filming is a good experience.”

His voice is so smooth and tender. You just barely get out a, “Thanks.”

When you walk back over to reset your position with Richard he said, “You bitch. I am so jealous over here as you get all up close and personal with that big sexy man.”

“I know right.” You laugh.

“Action,” is called.

You run though that part of the scene several more times. Getting more comfortable each time. After one take Sebastian comes over and Alex introduces you. Anna joins the group. You are kind of stunned standing there and the three of them being all casual as inside you just can’t believe your life at this moment.

Sebastian’s eyes crawl over you as he asks about the other films you worked on. You tell him a few things but keep it a little cryptic. The A.D. calls places.

Before you go Sebastian said, “hopefully we get to chat more at the cast party.”

You said, “Sure.” Before going back to your position with Rich.

“Why are you taking all my dates for after work,” Rich whispers in your ear.

You giggle, “fate I guess.”

You try to keep doing the same things over and over. How you position your hands and when you giggle at what Rich says. He does make a great scene partner since he keeps you entertained. Alex always positions you when he comes over to take Rich’s place. And you let him have total control because he makes it so easy. You are not even nervous by the fifteenth take.

Last shooting of the day. Anna saunters over to the key filled fishbowl to grab keys. Sebastian grins as they walk towards the back where there is a hallway that leads to his bedroom. You get up and pick keys up and hold them dangling with a grin on your face as Alex crosses the room and escorts you out the door. You only need to film that five times to get angles and things.

The filming day ends. You drive home with some great memories. The incident with Vic not even registering in your mind.

#sabastian stan #fanfic #fan fiction #anna paquin #alex skarsgard #70s #key party #original story #au #gay character #bi character #filming #being an extra #fantasy #dreaming

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sims-psycho · 5 years ago

Note

I’m pretty sure I already asked you the hella cute questions for Billie 🤔 So odds for Luna and evens for Kit! 💕

ok, so, this took me so. fucking. long. but I love you for it cuz I’m shit at char development so thANK YOU FOR ASKING ANGEL!!! ♡ ♡

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? ~ Kane of course

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? ~ I know this probably isn’t what you mean, but I have a meeting with the drama teacher at college today to see if I can help with the costume design for the musical and I’m pretty excited *smiles*

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? ~ I know he would because he may or may not have had to in the past *blushes*

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? ~ Yes, me and Kane are really good

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? ~ Depends on who it’s with

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? ~ ‘Yeah sure, do you need anything else?’ to my mum, she wants me to grab some stuff from the shop on my way home

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? ~ My hair gets really tangled so not really

15. What good thing happened this summer? ~ summers not over yet! *giggles*

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? ~ Absolutely, even if it’s just a shred of bacteria, the universe is to extensive for use to the be the only ones

19. Do you like bubble baths? ~ Ooo, yes, a lot *laughs*

21. What are you bad habits? ~ I’m a bit of a workaholic, so I guess that’s sort of a bad habit

23. Do you have trust issues? ~ I don’t think so, thankfully

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? ~ My nose is really wide and, yeah i know it’s silly but everyone has their insecurities i guess

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? ~ Not at all, I love my skin tone and my heritage

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? ~ I’ve only really been with Kane

31. If your hair long enough for a ponytail? ~ I guess, but it’s not really ‘long’ more just big

33. Spell your name with your chin. ~ ,ljna *giggles* I tried

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? ~ As much as I love a good Netflix binge I’d have to say TV, music is just so good in so many different situations

37. What do you say during awkward silences? ~ Depends on the situation, but I normally try and say something positive, if not that I just stay quiet

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? ~ I only really buy second hand clothes, or I make them so I don’t really know

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? ~ Yes, the core of someone never changes, but how they view the world does

43. Do you smile at strangers? ~ Sometimes *smiles*

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? ~ I guess I just always have stuff to do

47. Have you ever been high? ~ Maybe….*looks sus*

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? ~ Yes *looks uncomfortable*

51. Ever wished you were someone else? ~ When I was a young teen, but I don’t think that’s that unusual

53. Favourite makeup brand? ~ Milk makeup

55. Favourite blog? ~ n/a

57. Favourite food? ~ Any kind of caribbean food my mum makes

59. First thing you ate this morning? ~ Crumpets *cute smile*

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? ~ Omg never, that would be the end of my life right now

63. Ever been in love? ~ I am right now *blushes*

65. Are you hungry right now? ~ Not really

67. Facebook or Twitter? ~ Facebook

69. Are you watching tv right now? ~ How did you know!? *looks shocked* I’m halfway through sex education and it’s hilarious *giggles*

71. Craving something? What? ~ I could always eat dark chocolate, it’s my favourite

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? ~ Yeah…..my little bunny *blushes*

75. Favourite animal? ~ I like deers, just think they’re really elegant

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? ~ Vanilla

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? ~ It’s like a pinky red sort of colour

81. Favourite tv show? ~ I really love Killing Eve

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? ~ Who even likes mean girls 2!? *scoffs and laughs*

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? ~ Gretchen *giggles*

87. First person you talked to today? ~ My mum

89. Name a person you hate? ~ I don’t think I really hate anyone

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? ~ No!!

93. How many sweatpants do you have? ~ Only a couple pairs, and I only wear them in the house

95. Last movie you watched? ~ Me and the gang watched birdbox last weekend, it was really creepy

97. Favourite actor? ~ I don’t think I have one

99. Have any pets? ~ We have a cat called Beanie, technically she’s my mums cat but she’s also kinda the family cat *smiles*

101. Do you type fast? ~ Oh yeah, it’s like fire comes off my fingers *laughs*

103. Can you spell well? ~ Uhh, yeah *smirks*

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? ~ I’ve been to a bbq party with family, but I don’t think thats the same *giggles*

107. Have you ever been on a horse? ~ Yeah, me and my sisters used to go to a horse riding club when we were little *smiles*

109. Is something irritating you right now? ~ Nope

111. Do you have trust issues? ~ No, I don’t have any reason to distrust anyone I know

113. What was your childhood nickname? ~ Little moon, or sometimes just lune

115. Do you play the Wii? ~ Me and my sisters used to play the super mario wii all the time when we were kids *smiles*

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? ~ Yeah, it’s alright

119. Favourite book? ~ The Art of Faminisim

121. Are you mean? ~ I….I don’t think so

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? ~ Can anyone? *laughs*

125. Do you believe in true love? ~ Yeah, I think I do

127. What makes you happy? ~ Luckily, a lot. Off the top of my head, my family and friends, Kane, fashion and art and music and good food and a lot of other things *smiles sweetly*

129. What your zodiac sign? ~ Cancer

131. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? ~ Be incredibly confused because Eli’s gay *laughs*

133. Favourite lyrics right now? ~ ��You and I, wide awake / With the sky falling down / As we wait for the morning / Is there a place in the stars / Where the sky goes to sleep? / We got no way of knowing” Feel by Jacob Collier and Lianne La Havas

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? ~ Oh I can’t remember, I’ve probably told some dumb ones to my parents when I was younger though

137. How tall are you? ~ 5′7

139. Brunette or Blonde? ~ My hair is brown

141. Night or Day? ~ Day

143. Are you a vegetarian? ~ No, but I wouldn’t say I’m a huge meat eater either

145. Tea or Coffee? ~ Tea, I have lots of herbal teas that I drink depending on my mood *smiles*

147. Mars or Snickers? ~ Ooo, snickers

149. Do you believe in ghosts? ~ Yes, sadly it happens to unrested spirits *lowers head*

2. Are you outgoing or shy? ~ I’m super outgoing dude *laughs*

4. Are you easy to get along with? ~ I’m so chill, what are you sayin, of course *winks*

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? ~ Oh man, anyone who’s fit straight off, but people who are just ‘out there’ y’know

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? ~ I saw a spunk on the beach last night, she disappeared before I could introduce myself

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? ~ Kasper, he lectures me all the time

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? ~ Ooh, that’s a toughie, uhhh, Cake by the Ocean, Funky Duck, Feels Like Summer, Andromeda aaanddd…..Wonderwall *laughs*

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? ~ Sure, why not *chuckles* a lot of crazy shit happens everyday man

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? ~ No joke, don’t know the last person I kissed, oops *laughs, embarrassed*

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? ~ Nah

20. Do you like your neighbors? ~ They’re a’ight. They don’t really leave there place though

22. Where would you like to travel? ~ I dunno, I’ve been to a lot of places, don’t really know where I want to go next

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? ~ I normally skate to the cafe Billie works at most mornings and grab a smoothie

26. What do you do when you wake up? ~ Jerk off *smirks*

28. Who are you most comfortable around? ~ Andie for sure, she sucks a lot sometimes, but she’s my sister and no one really gets me like she does

30. Do you ever want to get married? ~ Meh, maybe someday, but not for a loooooonggg time *chuckles*

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? ~ you have no idea how happy I am i got this question *laughs cheekily* Chris Hemsworth and Cara Delevingne, I wouldn’t need to get any for like a year if that happned *laughs*

34. Do you play sports? What sports? ~ I surf and skate a lot, it’s kind of all I do tbh, me and Kas box together sometimes too

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? ~ Yup *smirks*

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? ~ Someone adventurous and confident who can put me in my place *winks*

40. What do you want to do after high school? ~ Man, no one has asked me about school in like, 40 years *laughs*

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? ~ I’m never quiet *smirks*

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? ~ Defo bottom of the ocean, I bet theres a lot of my shit down there *laughs*

46. What are you paranoid about? ~ I dunno, sometimes I freak out because the government is fucking up our planet and shit but Maya always tells me one day we’ll be the ones pulling the strings and it makes me feel alright

48. Have you ever been drunk? ~ *laughs* oh yeah

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? ~ Pink i think *chuckles*

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? ~ I’m perfect, what are you saying *smiles cheekily*

54. Favourite store? ~ Theres this tiny sakte shop across town that sell all sorts of cool shit

56. Favourite colour? ~ Like a greeny-blue kinda colour

58. Last thing you ate? ~ I think like an apple or something

60. Ever won a competition? For what? ~ I’ve won a fair few surf competitions in my time *smirks*

62. Been arrested? For what? ~ I know have, but I can’t remember what for, hasn’t happened in a while, I’m obviously not trying hard enough *winks*

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? ~ pashed my p.e teacher in the kit room, that shit was hot *smirks cheekily*

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? ~ n/a

68. Twitter or Tumblr? ~ Twitter

70. Names of your bestfriends? ~ Andie, Kapser, Teegs, Erik, Maya and Max. I’ve got some friends back in Oz but I haven’t seen them in forever

72. What colour are your towels? ~ Black, cuz we emo in my house *laughs*

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? ~ None, i got this scraggly monkey thing that hangs from my rear view mirror in my car though *chuckles*

76. What colour is your underwear? ~ You wanna take a look yourself darlin’? *winks and smiles cheekily*

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? ~ All of them, I fucking dig ice cream so much, especially ben n jerry

80. What colour pants? ~ You really into my clothes aren’t you *smirks* I got green trunks on

82. Favourite movie? ~ The original Alien is fun

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? ~ 21 jump street defo, although I did like mean girls waay more than I thought I would when I saw it

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? ~ Shiiiit, I fucking loved that film, haven’t seen it in years though, whats the turtle called again? You know the really stoned one? *laughs* yeah him, or the shark

88. Last person you talked to today? ~ Kasper, I think

90. Name a person you love? ~ Getting all sappy now are we *smirks* want me to say you? I can if you want babe *winks*

92. In a fight with someone? ~ Nah, don’t take a lot to get me there though *smirks*

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? ~ A fucking lot *laughs*

96. Favourite actress? ~ Margot Robbie is hot as fuck *smirks*

98. Do you tan a lot? ~ I’m tan 24/7 bby *chuckles*

100. How are you feeling? ~ High as fuck *laughs*

102. Do you regret anything from your past? ~ Yeah, but I try not to think about it, live in the moment and shit

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? ~ Sometimes, but I normally forget about it within a couple of mins

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? ~ Ahhh probably, have you seen me, how could I not *winks*

108. What should you be doing? ~ Fuck all *laughs*

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? ~ Fuuuck, yeaaaaah

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? ~ I don’t cry around people….I don’t really cry at all tbh

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? ~ I’ve been all over the world darlin’ *smirks* I’m a cultured guy *chuckles*

116. Are you listening to music right now? ~ I’m in a cafe and theres music playing so yeah

118. Do you like Chinese food? ~ I like all food

120. Are you afraid of the dark? ~ Haha, I do most of my wirk in the dark so I fucking hope not *laughs*

122. Is cheating ever okay? ~ No, unless your girl or guy cheated first, then it’s just payback

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? ~ Yeah, I’ve seen it happen

126. Are you currently bored? ~ Nah, you’re very entertaining *smiles cheekily*

128. Would you change your name? ~ Nah, my name’s alright

130. Do you like subway? ~ Not really, I don’t eat a lot of fast food

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? ~ Kasper I think

134. Can you count to one million? ~ I Have to to count the reasons why you and me would make a cute couple *winks and then laughs*

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? ~ Closed, who the fuck leaves it open!?

138. Curly or Straight hair? ~ My hair is kinda wavey, and on other people i like all types, I don’t descriminate *smirks*

140. Summer or Winter? ~ Summer!

142. Favourite month? ~ June duh, it’s my birthday month

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? ~ yes *laughs*

146. Was today a good day? ~ It was a’ight

148. What’s your favourite quote? ~ Maya and Erik spurt some educational shit at me all the time but fuck do I have a ‘favourite quote’ *laughs*

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? ~ the closest book to me right now is in the library across town so no way mate *chuckles

#luna steel #kit #oc's #character development #i've been chipping away at this for so long #it was super fun tho!#chuskasims #ask #asks #reply #answer

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bangtaninink · 6 years ago

Text

i’m too lit to dim down a notch IV

Summary: Jeongguk is the new kid in town. Kind of. He’s looking for an Authentic College Experience™, and you have no problem helping him out with achieving that (fratboy!AU)

Part: 1 | 2 | 3

A rhythmic knock at his door makes Jeongguk flinch and nearly drop his shirt.

“Um, come in?”

He’s just about to wonder why the fuck someone’s bothered to knock because no one in the frat house ever bothers to knock, but all questions die on the tip of his tongue when he sees you walk in, dressed in a Doosan Bears jersey, black jeans, and white sneakers, holding a navy blue cap between your teeth as you pull your hair up into a ponytail.

“Mornin’,” you greet, sitting down on the edge of his bed.

Jeongguk fumbles, drops his shirt and scrambles to pick it up, tripping over a pile of dirty clothes that are in dire need of washing before he gets himself composed.

“Hi. Hey. Hi,” he stammers, so desperate to get his shirt on he almost runs into a wall. “G-good morning.”

“Sorry I’m a bit early, but I got out of the house as quick as I could because there’s a party happening at our house tomorrow night and the others are in some mad rush to get everything planned out. Some of the more senior sisters get a bit anal about making sure shit’s organised and I don’t like to be around them when that’s happening.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t mind me, okay? We’ve got heaps of time. Just pretend like I’m not here.”

Easier said than done, Jeongguk thinks, but he holds his tongue and tries to continue getting dressed, even when he sees you flop down to lie on his bed, cap resting on your knee as you hold your phone above your head. It’s ridiculous, the way your presence has all of a sudden got him question every little thing about today -- should he really wear this shirt today? This cap? Don’t even get him started on his hair!

Jeongguk freezes when the sound of your humming cuts through the quiet, resisting the urge to turn and look over his shoulder and watch your humming transition into quiet singing. Admittedly, you’re not that good. He doesn’t have particularly high standards (he leaves that to Yoongi), but he’s pretty sure even you wouldn’t call yourself the next IU. Still, just the fact that you’re here, in his room, singing-but-not-really-singing Two Melodies without another care in the world is enough to make Jeongguk’s cheeks warm with an unexplainable fondness for you.

He tugs his shirt on quickly, crosses the room to open up the door to his wardrobe to check himself in the mirror, all the while avoiding looking at you. Jeongguk tries not to wince at how unkempt his hair looks, and does his best to comb his fingers through it as casual and nonchalant as he can look trying to flatten out a cowlick or two. The cap, he thinks, is definitely gonna be needed today.

“Hey, Jeongguk?”

Jeongguk turns so quickly he hits his knee on the edge of his wardrobe’s door.

“Uh, yeah?” he replies.

“Can I ask you something?”

Dread washes over Jeongguk, and irrationally, he thinks, here it is. She knows what I did last night. Fuckity fuck, fuck, fuck. Bye, world! It was nice while it laste--

“Two things actually,” you continue. “How’d you get into Beta Tau so quickly, and if you’re a sophomore, why are we in the same anatomy class?”

Jeongguk nearly cries with relief.

“Oh, um. Well, my dad’s alumni,” he answers, giving up on his hair and slapping his cap on, kicking his wardrobe shut with the heel of his boot and moving to sit beside you, a complete bundle of nerves but, hopefully, looking calm. “He studied in Seoul and made it into Beta Tau Sigma when he was a student here. The frat has that rule about automatically letting family relations in or whatever. I forget the proper wording.”

“Oh, I know that rule,” you say, tucking your phone back into the pocket of your jeans. “That’s how Tae and Jin oppa got into Beta Tau as well.”

“Oh. Wait, wait. Seokjin hyung’s your brother too?”

“Nah, he’s my cousin. Might as well be my brother though. What about anatomy class?”

“W-well,” Jeongguk starts, trying to not jerk at the way you nudge the side of his thigh with your knee. “Uh, I did a lot of extra classes back in Busan last summer. Kinda built up enough credit that I might be able to graduate a year early. Or at least a semester.”

Strategically, he leaves out the part about having so few friends back in hometown that he had way too much time to himself in July that he’d resorted to just... studying.

“So... you’re like a super nerd then,” you laugh, teasing. “I like that. It’s a nice change from the other Busan boy.”

“Who, Jimin hyung?”

“Yeah. He wouldn’t have made it to senior year if it weren’t for me and Hoseok oppa. He spends way too much time doing everything else but studying, even now. I mean, I’m not really one to talk, I guess.” You sit up, resting your arm on Jeongguk’s shoulder, missing the way he tenses briefly. “But then again, I can find time to fuck and get fucked on the regular while getting straight As, so he really has no excuse.”

Jeongguk chokes on his own spit.

“Um, wow,” is all he has to say. You laugh quietly.

“Oh, I have another question for you. The other day, when I first met you? What’d you mean when you said you wanted to be a physiotherapist for athletes because you probably “won’t get to be one”?” you say, fingers curling in imaginary quote marks. “Who says you won’t get to be one?”

“Uh, no one, but... it seems a bit unrealisitic for me to aim to be on Yoo Heekwan’s level. Or Park Taehwan. Like, they’re gods, and I’m, like, a pleb.”

“You play baseball, Guk?”

“Yeah. And swim. Mostly swim. Well, no. Well, I dunno yet. Tryouts for the baseball are on Wednesday. And the swim team tryouts are on Tuesday. It’ll be a fucking miracle if I make it into either one, honestly.”

“Can I come?”

Eyebrows raised so high they almost disappear into his cap, Jeongguk looks at you with unabashed shock.

“To... to the tryouts?” he asks.

“Yeah.”

“Um... why?” It’s your turn to raise your eyebrows, and he stumbles over his words trying to recover. “No, I mean! N-not that I don’t want you there! Or... w-well, I dunno. Do I want you there? I-it’s a free country. I guess you could technically go whether or not I say y-yeah, but...” He trails off when you start to laugh.

“You’re cute, Guk. But I’d like to come and watch if that’s okay with you, because, in case you haven��t noticed, I’m a fucking lunatic for baseball -- or just sports in general -- and, also, I wanna be there to tell you ‘I told you so’ when they ask you to join the team right then and there. Plus, swimmers are hot.”

Jeongguk blinks, dumbfounded and trying to listen to what you’re saying, instead of staring down at your lips while you speak like he wants to.

“But... you haven’t even seen me play or swim,” he replies.

“With a body like this, Jeon Jeongguk, I’m sure you play and swim great,” you laugh, lightly smacking his chest.

(He hardly feels a thing.)

“Um. Uh. Okay. Y-yeah. If you want to, noona. Wait. C-can I call you that?”

“You can call me anything you want, babe,” you say, chuckling as you stand, fingers wrapping around Jeongguk’s wrist to pull him up onto his feet. “C’mon. Let’s go see some epic shit.”

“Holy shit. That was amazing!” Jeongguk cries out, skipping backwards to remain facing you as you both leave the stadium, the afternoon sun warm on your heads.

“God, how does he make it look so fucking effortless?” you add, jogging after him. “I need me a man like Yoo Heekwan.”

“Yeah. I’m not even gay, but amen to that, noona. A-fucking-men.”

Laughing, you quickly grab Jeongguk’s wrist, pulling him away from the path of an incoming cyclist as he draws nearer to a pedestrian crossing. The adrenaline is still well and truly pumping through your veins and his, and another win for the Doosan Bears means neither of you will be calming down anytime soon.

“Hey, Guk. You hungry?” you ask. “Let’s get some food.”

“I’m down for that. Where do you wanna go?”

“Let’s get some burgers, babe.”

“I like burgers!”

Shaking your head, you laugh, not letting go of his arm as you lead him down the road to the nearest burger joint, a usual stop of yours after a game. It’ll be a welcome change today, for someone to actually eat with you and talk about what’d just happen, instead of the normal ‘do you even know how many calories are in a regular cheeseburger?’ lecture and constant eye-rolling at you waxing poetic about athletic form and pitching speeds.

(”Jesus. Okay, Bora. Just calm down and let me finish this in peace. I’ll get you your fucking salad in a sec.”)

In the middle of his monologue on a spectacular catch by Min Byunghun, Jeongguk reaches forward to pull the door open, letting you step inside first, not even breaking sentence or losing his train of thought once. You almost trip over your foot walking in, so not used to the chivalry, even if the both of you are just entering a fucking Burger King. Unphased and oblivious to your surprise, Jeongguk keeps talking right up until the both of you have made it to the counter to order.

“Hi. Can I please have a Grilled BBQ set with cheese, and a side of onion rings?” he orders, already reaching into the back of his jeans to pull out his wallet. “What’re you gonna have, noona?”

“Jeongguk, you’re not gonna pay for me.”

“Hmm?” Jeongguk turns to look at you, first with a look of confusion, then with a smile. “What’re you talking about? Of course I’m gonna pay. You bought my ticket to the game, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, but I asked you to come out today. Put your wallet away.”

“Noona, it’s just Burger King,” he says, laughing. “No offense.”

“Hey, dude. None taken,” the cashier says, waving a dismissive hand. “Think I care about this place that much?”

“See? This guy knows what I mean. Order whatever you want, noona. I’ve got this.”

Door opening and meal paying? This is too good to be true, you think.

“Fine. If you insist,” you say.

“Yup.”

“I’ll have a Supreme Cheese set, no pickles, and some extra cheese fries.”

“Too easy,” the cashier replies, punching in the orders, hand outstretched as Jeongguk surrenders his card unprompted.

“You can go find a table, noona. I’ll bring the food over when it’s done,” Jeongguk says, taking his card back.

You choose a table close to the back wall, still within view of the front counter. Cradling your chin in your hand, you look at Jeongguk’s back as he waits, fingers tapping against the counter top while he looks down at his phone, too busy wondering how the hell this kid can be such a... gentleman in this day and age? No one treats you like this, not even the rest of the guys in Beta Tau Sigma, so you can’t help but be taken aback by all of this. Does he not know who you a--?

It suddenly dawns on you that Jeongguk is new to Seoul, to the college you and the rest of the guys attend, and he has absolutely no idea what kind of reputation you’ve built for yourself over the years.

There’s this brief twinge of regret and paranoia that passes over you when you realise what could happen if anyone who knew you were to see Jeongguk with you, wondering what could happen if they were to start talking. What would they say about you? What would they say about Jeongguk? How shitty would you seem if you were to ruin all chances of him enjoying his college life in peace?

Before you even have a chance to work yourself up, however, Jeongguk appears in front of you, setting down the tray as he chews on a mouthful of fries.

“This is my kind of fine dining,” he says, swallowing before letting out a soft chuckle.

“Ooh, yeah,” you reply, reaching for your cheese fries. “This easily beats every five-star restaurant I’ve ever been to for sure.”

“You’ve been to a five-star restaurant, noona?” Jeongguk asks, handing you your burger.

“Probably twice? Yeah. Once for my dad’s birthday. We went to this really fancy place in Gangnam. Second time was for Christmas after my dad married Tae’s mom.”

“So that’s how you and Taehyung hyung are related. Kinda.” You hum around your burger in agreement. “Is Seokjin hyung your cousin cousin, or your... step cousin? Is that a thing?”

“Step cousin, yeah,” you say, chuckling. “If that is a thing. He’s Taehyung’s blood-related cousin, so I guess we’re just cousins by, like, association? This is confusing. I dunno.”

“Nah, I get it.”

“Like I said though, he might as well just be another brother. He nags like one. Or, like, an extra parent.”

“I can relate to that,” Jeongguk says, nodding slowly with a mouthful of his burger stuffed in his cheeks. “He’s, like... the mom of the frat. It was kinda weird, but... it’s good. We can’t all be a bunch of hooligans in that house, y’know?”

“Yeah. I’m sure without Jin oppa’s motherly ways and Yoongi oppa’s anal-ness, that house would’ve burned down years ago.”

“Yup.”

“You said your dad was alum though, right?” you ask, dipping fries into the melted cheese at the bottom of the paper basket.

“Yeah, he was. He seemed pretty happy at least one of his sons went to his alma mater. Even if I’ve only got about two years to go.”

“Oh? You have siblings?”

“Just an older brother. He decided to study in the States for his undergrad, and ended up staying there for his masters. Seoul’s been a big enough culture shock for me as it is. I dunno how he’s managed to survive in Chicago for longer than a semester. But then again, we’re, like, polar opposites, so I guess if anyone was gonna be able to live in America on their own, it was gonna be him.”

“Do you miss him?”

Jeongguk smiles, a little sadly you notice, picking at an onion ring, saying, “yeah. Heaps. He’s always been the one who kinda keeps me sane, even back in Busan.” You don’t say anything, just watch as Jeongguk seems to reminisce quietly to himself while you eat. “Like, it’s not as if I’m not on bad terms with my parents or anything. I love them. I miss them heaps too. But it’s like... my brother was -- is -- the one I can talk to about anything, because he kinda understands what I’m going though whenever something doesn’t make sense.”

“Must be good,” you chuckle, wiping your fingers on a napkin. “Having someone you can talk to about everything, I mean.”

“You don’t have any siblings, noona? I mean, like, blood-related. Not including Taehyung hyung and Seokjin hyung.”

“Nah, I’m an only child in that sense,” you reply, picking at the set cheese on the wax paper. “My mom left before she had anymore kids with dad.”

“Oh.” Jeongguk puts his drink down back onto the table slowly. “Your mom... left.”

“Yeah. I don’t really care about it though. She left when I was pretty young. To be honest, I don’t really remember much about her.” You shrug, ignoring the weird weight in your chest. “Taehyung’s mom is really nice though. It’s probably still pretty weird. She pretty much got a daughter overnight after marrying dad, but she’s been really good at treating me like I’ve been there the whole time, like I’m not just some kid that appeared out of nowhere. I can see why Tae turned out the way he did.”

Jeongguk seems a little hesitant about saying anything, so he doesn’t, and just continues to sip at his drink quietly, burger and onion rings demolished.

“That was probably the deepest conversation to have happened at a Burger King. Fuck,” you mutter.

You barely have time to flinch away before Jeongguk is spitting out his drink, tiny droplets of projectile soda hitting you in the face and chest.

“Oh fuck, noona, I’m sorry!” he says, coughing as he beats his fist against his chest. He’s going to apologise more, he swears, as soon as he can breathe properly, but when he looks up, wiping away tears from the corners of his eyes because choking hurts, he’s shocked, but, admittedly, a little relieved, to find you’re clutching your stomach as you too struggle to breathe, laughing hard.

“Jeongguk, you dick,” you say, breathless as you dab at the corners of your eyes, careful not to smudge your makeup.

“I’m sorry,” Jeongguk says, but he’s laughing, and silently marvelling at the way the drops of cola that landed on your cheeks now look like small freckles. “But you can’t just say something like that, noona!”

“God,” you groan, but there’s no malice in your voice as you carefully wipe your face and proceed to throw the scrunched up napkin at his chest, watching it bounce off him and land onto the table. “You’re the worst.”

“You’re the worst. You just ruined a nice moment,” Jeongguk counters.

“I love fine dining.”

“Noona!”

“Jeongguk, you didn’t have to walk me home. What the hell?”

“But noona,” Jeongguk says, hands tucked into the back pockets of his jeans. “Look how dark it is. How could you walk alone in this?”

“God. You are really something,” you say, shaking your head with a barely concealed smile.

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing. Don’t worry ‘bout it.” It’s warm out tonight, the air just borderline humid, a small teaser of what might be a very hot summer, and you’re starting to feel a little uncomfortable wearing so much. “Anyways. How’re you finding Seoul so far?”

“It’s alright. Not really what I expected if I’m honest,” Jeongguk replies, shrugging a little.

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” you ask, chuckling.

“Uh... both?” He chuckles with you. “Nah, it’s good, mostly. There’s just a lot more people here. Not that Busan is the smallest city in the country or anything, but, y’know...” He shrugs again.

“Yeah, it gets a bit crazy up here, huh? It’s hard to get bored in Seoul though, I think. But I bet being so close to the sea is amazing.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty great. My grandparents live pretty close to Haeundae so we’re usually there during the summer. This... it’ll be the first summer not by the beach for me, actually.”

You notice Jeongguk’s step slow just a little, and you barely catch the little shift in his expression as he no doubt is hit with a wave of homesickness.

“Jimin always goes back to Busan for a couple weeks in the summer,” you offer. “You could always go with him, if you don’t mind him talking your head off the entire train ride back. I swear to God, he never shuts up.”

“Jimin hyung does talk a lot I’ve noticed. So does Taehyung hyung,” Jeongguk says, the corners of his lips twitching with a smile. “I can hear them talking about aliens at, like, two in the morning. They’d make great swimmers with their lung capacity.”

“Tae doesn’t exercise. And Jimin only ever dances. Good luck getting them anywhere near a pool, Guk.”

“I could throw them in.”

“If you do, I better be there to record the whole thing. I wanna be internet famous.” Jeongguk breaks out into a wide grin. “What time are your tryouts, by the way?”

“Um.” He reaches into his back pocket, pulling out his phone as the both of you come to a stop at the lights. “Swim tryouts are at four, baseball’s at four-thirty,” he reads off.

“Tuesday and Wednesday, right?”

“You’re really coming, noona?”

“You don’t want me to?”

“No, I... I do. Really.”

“I could be your lucky charm, Jeongguk. You might set a new school record. Or hit a home run. Or both.”

“I doubt it,” Jeongguk says, chuckling, stepping forward as the pedestrian light turns green.

“You never know,” you say, singing your words as you jog ahead of him.

#jungkook #jeon jeongguk #bts #bangtan #bts scenarios #fratboy!au

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surflove808 · 7 years ago

Text

RE: Cockles, Bi!Bros, J2M, J2 over-the-top shipping bullshit. Please read this. Here goes....part 2.

UPDATED 10/10/2017 for clarity and stuff. More examples, less whiskey. Same potty language.

I've seen too much bullshit misinformation and conjecture out there and I can't stay silent anymore. So... here's the promised Part 2 of my ridiculously long rant. Again, I'm asking that whoever reads this, really reads the whole thing, and if you agree...please reblog. Because this "issue" affects a lot more people than just these guys. And I know it's long, but if it starts a discussion on how to treat people better and pave the way for acceptance without fear, as well as for how internet witch hunts are NOT ok, I'm hoping we're ALL for it.

Here we we go!

This statement applies to both the actors in this show, and the characters they portray: I think we can all agree that these men are otherworldly handsome. And I think that some of us can agree that reading fan fiction (particularly smut, in my case), is very enjoyable. I love the smut! I'm not here to disabuse you of the notion that seeing these guys together, apart, with you, with me, with a fucking doughnut...sexually... would be seriously hot. I'm not here to bash fan fiction. I'm not here to poop on your fantasies or freedom of speech, either. But I AM asking for more social responsibility.

I am also here to shut down the mentality that we own these characters and these individuals, and that it's ok to take our fantasies (because that's what they are), and try to force feed them to the general public, and even the actors and their families (some of you no-boundary having, people) as if it's ok for our uninformed opinions about the private lives of these men to be twisted and regurgitated to reflect our own desires for them, especially in a public forum.

I'm here to inject some realism. Via real experiences. And actual analysis that's thought-out, and based in objective reality. If you choose to ignore that, and carry on with your fantasy in a way that's harmful? I can't stop you. I'm just here to provide a counterpoint and hope that it takes hold with even 1 person, and maybe that person can tell someone else...and maybe apply reverse osmosis with some of this toxic mentality that it’s “ok if you don’t actually know them”.

*Minor, basic, psychology warning*: Repressed individuals, for example (by example, I mean this is one instance that I'm using) who are uncomfortable with their own sexuality, and are not yet ready to address/express it, have a tendency to avoid circumstances, conversations and actions that may threaten to shatter a carefully constructed facade. They will go to great lengths to cover-up or act against any instinct that might "out" them.*

And by repressed individuals? That doesn't mean GAY individuals exclusively. That means ANYONE who feels repressed by the "norms" inflicted by their family, their friends, their classmates, their upbringing, etc. But, I just don't see that with these guys. At all. They're as comfortable with each other as you'd expect long-time collaborators and friends would be... and that should be awesome. It should be ok. But for some fans, it's become their job to attempt to force these actors into roles that they've written FOR them. And that's fucked up.

What sucks is when, much like their onscreen counterparts, these guys can't express affection, support, physical closeness, have dinner together, laugh at the same dirty jokes, defend each other, etc.... without being put under a frigging microscope and dissected. It breaks my heart a little bit when I start to see them pulling back and being more inhibited and defensive as a result of this BS. Being a public figure invites a whole new level of scrutiny, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy...some of the shit I've seen "fans" say about these guys.

And when the occasional rebel of a "fan" ignores the very limited number of things that can't be asked about anymore (**see dickheads**) at conventions, let's be honest - they are, in fact, being dickheads. They KNOW what they're doing. This isn't a press conference with Trump. This is supposed to be a safe place for the actors and fans to interact about the show. And yet.... when the occasional someone posits the very old and very, definitively answered question about Destiel - and Jensen in particular - shoots it down or tries to avoid it (and only twice that I've seen. And very politely), suddenly, he's a homophobic asshole. He's ALSO gay, BTW. He just doesn't know it yet... (for those of you who take everything literally, that was sarcasm)

I'll tell you what. He's a helluva lot nicer than I would ever be. I'd tell the pushy shitheads that insisted on asking the same fucking DELIBERATELY INFLAMMATORY question that had already been answered, to go fuck themselves. But Jensen hasn't done that. Because I guess he's just a more patient person than me.

He has been inhabiting this character for 12 years, and living with himself for much longer. Despite that, maybe you DO know his character better than him. Maybe YOU know him better than he knows himself. Highly unlikely though.

The way I see it, if faced with seeing my life’s work (actor, husband, friend, father) negated and torn apart for the benefit of a few snarky gifsets, and being ambushed by inappropriate questions, after dedicating so much of my time and energy and love towards it, I’d be pretty fucking bummed. It'd be incredibly offensive to have someone tell me I wasn't who I said I was or not doing what I said I was doing. Over and over and over.

"YOU say Dean's hetero and there's no Destiel. The writers say it. But you're WRONG. Because reasons..." "YOU may THINK you're fooling us with your marriage and kids, but WE know better!" What. The. Fuck. Is that all about, people?? If you're doing this, approving of this, liking posts about this? I'm sorry to be the one to tell you... it's not cute. It's damaging. it's disrespectful, and you're that asshole.

I hate seeing anyone put in a position that makes them question how to go about policing their own behavior, their own truth and their own perception with regards to their **REAL** interpersonal relationships, based on the very legitimate fear that certain people won't give a second thought to making not only their life, but the lives of their families - a mockery.

For those of you who have had people snickering behind your backs or spreading gossip about you - it wasn't pleasant was it? In WHAT situation is it ok to take your unproven hypothesis, and use it to shame, "out", poke fun at, fetishize, or attempt to force feed your theories to the world-at-large in public forums about anyone's private lives? I really want to know. What makes this ok?

EXAMPLE TIME (using a few common examples I've seen time and time again, that people use to justify the shit that comes out of their mouths or fingertips):

1. The male cast and their butt swatting and dick grabbing pranks that make certain, excitable people jump to conclusions: This may be just my experience, but still: I'm a woman, and I know that my gay male friends and straight lady friends think it's not only ok, but a hoot to grab each others nethers, brazenly flirt, and share explicit sexual info like it's NBD, primarily because we are 100% uninterested in each other, physically. There is no perceived threat, either way, between us friends. And no fear of rejection. We don't view each other as potential mates. Therefore, we're a bit more "free" with each other.

A lot of my straight guy friends that are comfortable in their own masculinity (I hate that I even have to say that), have no hang ups about swatting each other on the butt, grabbing each others dicks, performing "cup checks", etc. *Also, see football.* I don't know why this is a thing that they do, and I don't judge them for it. In my observations, it's just a thing a fair amount of guys do, that they consider to be an "acceptable" display of affection among friends. They seem to find it amusing, and frankly - it's NONE OF MY BUSINESS. So, there's that. Most men, (that I've known, at least), will never not be fascinated with their own junk, not to mention dicks, balls, asses and boobs in general. I've also seen them be quite tender with, and observant of over one another when a situation arises. You know? Like a normal human response to someone they care about who may need some support??

And if a couple of dude friends want to act like they're 5 years old with each other, well into adulthood...I think it's rather charming, and hilarious, if I'm being honest. I may not date men, but I absolutely adore them! And I sure as fuck don't want to see the baby steps that they are able to take away from toxic masculinity (to quote a lovely DM I got earlier), turned against them by people who think it's ok to project their own crap on them.

2. Sharing clothes: Again, just speaking from years of experience, and not claiming to know these guys or their reasons for (what, on 3-4 occasions, being seen with the same shirt?)... It's not just Jensen and Misha that do this, IF in fact, they do it at all. A lot of us do this. And if they do? It's not a big deal, people.

I share clothes with friends for convenience and comedy's sake, quite a bit. I own a bright orange hoodie that has been borrowed by so many friends that it's got it's own traveling backstory. I've borrowed pants, shoes, tops, etc. on occasion, based on my immediate needs, and vice-versa. Especially when traveling. Saves hassle and space to share a wardrobe, when possible. But then, maybe Jared, Jensen and Misha do it because they are clearly boning the shit out of each other in secret. And they're MEN. And men can't do that without some deeper meaning ascribed to it, apparently.

**Side note: 2 weeks ago, a guy friend of mine came straight from his construction job to a bbq at my house and asked to take a shower. But he didn't have any clean clothes of his own to change into. As a joke - I offered him my frilliest, silkiest top. And he LOVED it! Wore it all night and then wore it home. Got it back, freshly laundered last week. His girlfriend (one of my best friends), especially got a kick out of it! Lots of pics were taken and laughs were had. But none of us even considered that this was something worth ruminating over. It was Just. Funny.**

Good grief...If I were subjected to the same scrutiny that these actors are, based on wardrobe swaps alone, I'd be covertly fucking or wanting to fuck 75% of my friends. And folks, that's just not accurate. And no, I'm not fucking the other 25%, we're just not sharing clothes. :D

3. Perceived jealousy: Yes, some lovers get jealous. You know who else does? Friends, co-workers, siblings... Does the occasional side glance from one of these men merit dissection and exposition? Do we really have the prescient knowledge that enables us to know what these men are thinking and feeling with every glance, every movement? I'm only asking because certain individuals seem to think that these miniscule moments are more meaningful when they can be attributed to these guys. What makes these guys so damn special? Sorry.... maybe I'm just jealous. Feel free to speculate. I really wanna know.

4. "Longing looks", "sexy eyes", "the romantic gaze":

I'm going to tell you what I see with my own eyes, without the benefit of slowed-down gifs, conjecture, or the Cosmo Guide to Body Language and Crushes....or whatever the hell is informing opinions out there.

I'm going to focus on Jensen here because he seems to be the lynchpin that holds this whole sordid affair together. In addition to him "eye-fucking/loving" Jared and Misha, have you also noticed the way he "gazes" at and how affectionate he is with Rob, Billy, Jim Beaver, and JDM? If you have, you may have noticed that he has a very open, expressive face and big, gorgeous eyes. And he seems, by all accounts, to be a very affectionate dude. And to his credit, despite our best efforts to call attention to every single fucking thing he does, he continues to try to be himself.

And when he's paying attention to someone when they're speaking or performing (which is kind of a normal, respectful thing to do, as opposed to looking in boredom at the ceiling or the floor).... he seems to be 100% in the moment. Unless he's competing to tell a story. :D Again...just using my eyes to observe.

He's especially oooey gooey with Rob. Why hasn't he been linked with Rob in a torrid, secret affair? Is Rob too short? Not cute enough? I wanna get to the bottom of this. What? Is Rob chopped liver or something??

Folks, I do the same thing. A LOT of people do. Anyone who focuses on whoever is in front of them or next to them, really. Or am I in the minority, in that I'm capable of holding eye contact with, and paying attention to people that I'm not attracted to when they're speaking? If so, ya'll are some shallow fuckers. Wait!! Have I been eye-fucking people all along?? That would explain a lot, actually.

One buddy of mine in particular, has these big, gorgeous brown eyes and he gets this look when he's listening to people, and he looks like he's in love. He's not. IT'S JUST HIS FUCKING FACE. Poor guy has gotten in some hot water over that with a few hopeful, clueless ladies thinking he was *into it* when he wasn't.

Well, you may say... WHY does Jensen always gaze that way at Jared and Misha?? (First of all - see above), but I have a theory: Have you ever seen him do panels with anyone else? Who are the three main characters of this show? Who does he share all of his public appearances with, when he's not solo? He spends the lions share of his time working on and promoting Supernatural. Is Danneel in Supernatural? No...she's not. When they DO have precious little private time together, are they sitting in panels and being videotaped before a live studio audience, so that we can analyze their chemistry? Again...NO.

I don't know what their marriage is like. I'm gonna do the thing where I take their happiness and love at face value. Because it's none of my damn business. I believe what they've said and presented as a couple, because why wouldn't I? The better question is... why wouldn't you?? What's your motivation?

Misha affection:

Misha is a bad ass. Misha has been supported and enabled to evolve (again - going off what he's SAID in panels) Misha is not afraid of what people are gonna say about him when he wears a dress, or fakes an orgasm onstage with Jensen, kisses Jensen on the cheek, etc. And anything that he does to convert prejudice and fear into understanding, is A-OK by me. You can be masculine, and straight and still be open to exploration, still retain softness, and allow yourself to have your fingernails painted onstage without fear of repercussions from the peanut gallery, if you are allowed to get to that space, without people fucking with you. I could speculate on how Jensens friendship with someone like Misha might have made it more tolerable for him to handle all the bullshit that comes his way via unfounded speculation about his sexuality, but then, I wouldn't be sticking with simple observations based on what I hear from their mouths and what I see with my eyes. I know, it can be hard....BUT IT'S POSSIBLE, PEOPLE.

Grooming:

There's a reason why our behavior correlates to the fact that we share 99% of our DNA with chimpanzees (*also, see above for obsessing over our own genitalia*). I've had frigging strangers reach over and pull lint off of me. I had a guy on a busy NYC street try to pull a mole off my neck once, because he thought it was a tick. I don't know what else to say. From their own mouths, these guys have said it's a learned behavior from over a decade of checking each other before cameras roll. But if you think it means that they're in love... well. Ok, I guess.

"Checking in":

Again, I'm assuming and hoping all of us have at least one friend or family member that we're close to and care very much about, especially if they are, or have been, at risk. If you think that this person is approaching an emotional cliff (or any other kind of cliff for that matter), would you let them fall off, or would you let them know that you were there? Via a song, a look, a call, a touch, a word, a pat on the back, etc?

Or is that just a gay thing?

Conclusion:

These guys don't have to give a shit about the fans, but they go above and beyond. They're as invested in their characters as we are. MORE so, and rightly so. And they're dedicated and invested in their fans in a way that I've never seen before. And just going off written and verbal accounts that I'm sure you all have been privy to as well, these particular actors go to bat for vulnerable people and at-risk people, both personally, in situations that don't involve PR, as well as outreach through their respective campaigns. So, I respect them very much as creative entities and as people. I think most of us do. And I'm fucking going to bat for THEM. For those who don't, well... here's to hoping that changes. Or that your focus does. I am guessing the average age (intellectually/emotionally/or physically) of the people who read way too much into every gesture between these actors, and FREAK OUT...is pretty young. And I'm not saying that's a bad thing (being young, that is), but I AM saying the constant badgering of, and attempted *outing* of anyone is pretty abhorrent behavior, regardless of your maturity level.

Again, your words matter. They affect lives. They affect perception. These aren't just your private thoughts and fantasies anymore when you're making public statements on a worldwide forum/social network, and taking things way out of context to back up your ill-informed theories about people you don't even know. And by "affect lives", I mean that these public figures have developed a thick enough skin and enough sense to largely ignore the bullshit, but they are still human beings and deserving of our respect, no?

And by “affect lives”, I think as a society, we have a responsibility to the young men and women coming up in this world who still see - via these kinds of posts - that despite years of slow progress, their slightest actions can still be dissected and analyzed and gossiped about, with regards to their sexuality in particular. I think that people who like to post real accusations about real people, based on their skewed perception of these peoples interactions, in the "interest" of supporting actual LGBTQ people, are causing FAR more harm than good.

It can be destructive. And it can be limiting to intellectual and emotional growth, at large. And you're kidding yourselves if you think you're being "cute" and that it's harmless to ship real people to the point of harassment on a public forum. All you're accomplishing, is showing current and future generations of kids that if they don't stick with your definition of heteronormative behavior, that you'll do the outing for them via social media. I wish certain individuals were a bit more responsible with their online musings when it comes to real people who have real families and real children who will probably stumble upon this content one day... and try to be a bit more empathetic in general. Get out from in front of your screens and look around you and ask yourself: How would I feel if someone posted this kind of shit about my sister? My Mom? My Dad? My GF/BF/best friend without their consent??

Or is spreading malicious gossip only ok when you're not directly affected?

I'm just hoping that the people who fuck with these guys wives and make vids and publicly try to sexualize their friendships on Tumblr and elsewhere, are too young to know better. Here's to hoping they learn better, going forward.

If you are doing this? It's never too late to learn how to be a better human. Find a way to indulge your theories without harassing these very decent men, and well... anyone, right?? If these guys DO in fact have any "secrets"? They're entitled to keep them. But the likely reality? They're living their lives truthfully, in the face of the shitty online perpetuation of rumors, and giving us all a lesson in what it means to behave graciously under pressure and move on with kindness, when they could just as easily shut down convention filming as well as fan interaction. Appreciate that. And appreciate each others right to live without shame, scrutiny or unfounded speculation.

And if I missed some tags? Please, let me know.

************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************ A brief recap for those who couldn't glean this info from the body of this open letter:

I am not anti-LGBTQ, anti-Cockles, anti-J2M, anti-J2, anti-shippers.

I AM anti-harassment

And I AM anti-slanderous gossip in any form.

*******That being said*******

I am pro SPN actor, pro human, pro fandom, pro positivity

I am also pro education with regards to acceptance and tolerance, and just....basically, leaving people the fuck alone. Especially when you do not know them.

#destiel #cockles #j2m #bromance #Jensen Ackles #Jared Padalecki #Misha Collins #spnfamily #spnfandom #bi!bros #mishalecki #outing #speculation #dontbeadick

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gaybaconprincess · 7 years ago

Text

I found an old Doc with a Marching Band AU so take it

Jericho / Joseph Wilson (Flute)

‘That one gay friend who has a better fashion sense than me’

Don’t pronounce his last name as ‘willis’ like the principal or he will f you up

And by that he means he’ll get his scary brass boyfriend to f you up

Probably the sassiest person in Band

He is an angry human espresso and if you look at Kyd Wykkyd for too long he’ll break your leg

Very protective of his batnerd

Kole is also a flute n they are very good buds

Vows to one day burn the school’s band uniforms so they have to buy new ones

Calls everyone ‘fam’

If it’s possible to be that one controversial archetype he will be it

He is also the school’s biggest male feminist

Bumblebee is the biggest female feminist

Also he likes penciling in weed symbols (despite the fact he has never touched a drug in his life) all over the school campus

Mainly only joined Band because the Wilson bunch were sitting at a family dinner once and somebody (he doesn’t even remember anymore like maybe ROse?? Maybe Father????) said that the only instrument he could play was his twangy guitar and ofc he took that as a cHALLENGE

Raven / Raven Roth (Clarinet)

Very dark humour

Only real friend is Jericho bc they like to complain about Grayson together

Also Jericho is the only person who laughs at her jokes

Has more power over people than she lets on

Dating the head cheerleader helps too (angel)

Pretty chill

Not v good at physical fighting but just her all around dry personality will intimidate you

The woodwind section is filled with very violent human gnomes it seems

she has a tumblr indeed but trust me yOU DONT WANT IT

its filled with actual witch spells and v v gory things

Joined Band for the extra credit, stayed for the time away from home

Her home consists of her usually absent mother and emotionally abusive father (my way of inserting Trigon in here somewhere) and Joey is really the only person that knows and she can just vent to

They’ve had well over a few crying sessions

SeeMore / Seymour Johnson (Saxophone)

Joined band bc he’s a broke idiot in need of a scholarship

Joined saxophone because mEMES

Plays ‘we are number one’ every f-ing time Kyd so much as looks at him

bf(f)’s with the Herald

Totally thirsty for some brass trumpet boy but totally not the Herald oh no

(it’s so the Herald)

Has hit himself in the face with his sax thirteen too many times

Wears the nerdiest glasses possible but no one can say shit bc he’s the best marcher they’ve got really

Chillest of the chill you will ever meet

Cries @ disney movies

Probably watches conspiracy theory videos in his free time

Is slowly attempting to bring tumblr humor into the real world

also afraid of chickens. look its a really long story k.

Joined Band to prove to his parents that nO HE IS NOT DOING DRUGS AFTER SCHOOL HE IS ACTUALLY ATTEMPTiNG to MAKE YOU PROUD

The Herald / Malcolm Duncan (Trumpet)

Best friends w/ Jericho even tho Jericho regrets it

*Jericho walks into the Band Hall*

‘aND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA’ *trumpet noises*

He and Seymour meme together

Is just obnoxious in general

Pulls candy and other food items out of nowhere at the worst times

Just wants people to hang out with after school. Hot Spot’s no fun and Jericho’s family is insane.

BumbleBee / Karen Beecher (French Horn)

Is just way too tired for this

Mom friend

Doesn’t have time to deal with everyone’s shit

Joey can relate

‘malcolm duncan i dare you to blow that trumpet in my ear oNE MORE TIME’

Is everyone’s big sister but mainly Mal’s

Makeup game is always on point

Wants to kick Seymour and Mal in the throat everyday bc jUST KISS YOUR SEXUAL TENSION IS RUINING THE REHEARSAL

Kyd Wykkyd / Elliot Knight (Trombone)

Toll pencil is dating smol espresso

Looks mean and scary but just wants hugs and colored pencils

‘Deal hugs not drugs’

Makes too many puns

Literally every other sentence has some hidden pun in it

Loves picking Joey up and carrying him around

Gives people really terrible nicknames

Biggest weab of them all

‘I sexually identify as Terezi Pyrope’

Don’t even say the word homestuck/undertale around him he’ll either start crying or laughing maniacally

‘What do you mEAN YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT RWBY IS’

Has memorized all of Light Yagami’s lines on Death Note

Quotes Steven Universe (mainly Pearl) on a daily basis

k like,,,,you think,,,you tHINK he’s the smart friend.

oH NO BUDDY ARE YOU WRONG

if you’ve ever seen any Roosterteeth video ever

He is Gavin Free.

The embodiment of ‘wot if...our legs...didn’t know they were lEGS???’

Joey just kinda shushes him and pretends to know what he’s talking about

Billy Numerous / William Strayer (Euphonium)

Mammoth’s ultimate wingman

‘God bless murica’

Mispronounces words on purpose to piss off Kyd and Raven

Hates his pointy marching shoes

Hides tennis balls in the saxophones to Seymour’s dismay

Got hit with a trombone once and then had to pay for it to be fixed

Totally not kyd’s

Likes to make fun of Joey’s height which is WHY he got hit with a trombone

Roots for BBQ places every time the Band stops to eat on a trip

‘Aight but...does Wykkyd is gay??’

Mammoth / Baran Flinders (Tuba)

Is the most intimidating person you will ever meet and he kNOWS IT he GLOATS IN THAT FACT

‘gEEZ YOU GUYS SHUT UP I DONT HAVE A THING FOR STARFIRE THATS DISGUSTinG’

‘We were just asking why she wasn’t at rehearsal today’

Is also a vry broke idiot but somewhat enjoys band

The aMOUNT of times he has been stopped by football coaches and borderline bribed to be on the team

Is the one who shamelessly sprints the whole way to the cafeteria everyday

‘Foods before dudes, sorry’

He and Billy often have eating competitions

Jericho lives in fear every time he’s not tardy for class

Also looks mean but will cRUSH YOu....with a bear hug

When asked what 2 plus 2 was he responded with a very startled and nervous 22

Kid Flash / Wally West (Percussion)

Look,,,,buddy,,,,amigo,,,,chum,,,,

He and Kyd Wykkyd have had a lil rivalry goin on since the fiRST TIME KYD STOLE HIS APPLE JUICE IN PRE-K

Y do you think he joined percussion… (it’s because percussion is usually seated behind trombones and Kyd hates drums and loud noises)

bUT on the plus side his ADHD is now a lot less terrifying

During practice he literally just plays Hall of Fame on repeat

‘No...no no….no no plEASE STOP TOUCHING MY HAIR’

(jokingly) chants the word ‘gay’ and slowly gets louder every time Kyd so much as sPEAKs

He and Kyd have sarcasm competitions

Also memes but less out loud and more…

‘Wally I sweAR TO GOD IF YOU DONT STOP TeXTING ME MEMES IN CLASS’

‘Wykkyd iS THAT AN WEED IM CALLING THE POLICE’ inside jokes

Jinx / Jaya Salem (Pit)

Just wants a nap

All the time

Someone get her an energy drink

Puts up with Kyd + Mammoth + Billy + See-More’s shit not to mention her little brother most of the time

It’s Gizmo. The little brother is Gizmo.

‘I just...want to just like...can I plug myself into a charger? Can I do that, is that a thing?’

Literally the only person out of her friend circle that passes most of her classes

dO NOT TOUCH HER CATS JUST DONT DO IT

‘Do you think if I concuss myself I can get out of practice for today?’

all of her jokes are also either self depricating or just insulting to others

insomniac

Punk Rocket / Thomas Leonard (Drum Major)

mOST IRRESPONSIBLE DRUM MAJOR EVER 0/10 WOULD NOT RECOMMEND

‘Well y’know...i’m already in a Band so like...how hard could Drum Major be?’

Very hard. He made a mistake. He regrets everything.

School Principal: ‘are you aware that your hair is white?’

Rocket: ‘are you aware that your a fUCKING SQUARE???’

He got suspended after that

‘Okay look I know it looks really gay that I’m riding on a motorcycle with my really hot buddy but it’s not - fuck that is really gay, maybe I’m really gay.’

One big bundle of ‘oh no’ when you pop the question of ‘what’s your sexuality’

Gets wAY TOO INTO the really big moments when directing on field

Fell of the pedestal his first game

Over time actually starts taking Band very seriously and enjoying it

Slade Wilson

funds the Band’s everything

Addie cooks for the Band and helps with fundraisers

also I just really need an AU where Slade is just,,,,a good dad,,,,Joey deserves a good dad k

he was off in the army for a while so he comes back and apparently Joey is not four anymore?? and he has a boyfriend???? and turned out to somehow be shorter than his own mother?????????

Joey made ‘when will my father return from the war’ jokes the entire time to cope

Slade is still getting used to things and the crowd and screaming of football games makes him v uncomfortable but he goes to support Joey

who is off to the side trying to avoid looking at his father who is now waving his hands frantically

Rose comes too but mainly to make fun of the entire Band

Grant’s already in college so he don’t give a shit

Literally everyone in the Band lOVES Mr. Wilson and Adeline but Joey just wants them to leave him alone

Slade is that one dad,,,,he tRIES SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND BAND HUMOR AND IT DOESNT WORK

still doesn’t know how he feels about Kyd

Slade and Joey bond over Slade picking him up after practice and Joey iMMEDIATELY going into rant mode

‘tHIS HETERO A HOLE DAD YOU WOULDNT BELIEVE-’

surprisingly okay with Joey’s sexuality, he’s still getting used to it nonetheless

Mrs. and Mrs. Wykkyd

Kyd Wykkyd has two v lesbian moms and you can’t tell me otherwise like that’s my headcanon for him plus I love supportive gay parents that are better parents than the hets themselves

Kyd was adopted but they love their beautiful son v v much and he loves them

Kyd never really knew his biological parents and everyone acts like it’s a big deal but he he doesn’t?? care???? he knows who his parents are its Aarti Bindiya-Knight and Alison Knight duh

one of his moms is East Indian so he takes part in a lot of her culture just like his other mom does

he also gets vERY OFFENDED and filled with Righteous Anger when anyone discriminates or makes Indian jokes / lesbian jokes in class

Elliot is taller than both of his moms and usually has to bend down so they can hug him

Alison is American and very vERY kind hearted

Aarti has a very muscley stature and it taller than Alison. Her hair is cut short and curly and she looks like the person who will want to fight you and hug you at the same time.

Alison is v v short and has very light blonde hair that just kind wisps everywhere. V pale and really really likes sundresses.

Alison still tries to kiss Elliot on the cheek before he gets on the bus but Aarti holds her back so Elliot can run

she’s the cooking mom. she cooks. all the time. that’s how she shows her emotions.

‘Aar what if he forgot his backpack or his lunch do you think he’s doing okay what if someone is bullying him as we speak-’ ‘Ali. Ellie is fine. He is twice your height either way there is no way he is getting bullied.’

Alison got Elliot into drawing which he does a lot now

they are v v supportive of literally anything he does and most kids are actually kinda jealous.

tHEY ARE THE OVEREXCiTeD PARENTS AT EVERY GAME

NEITHER KNOW WHATS GOING ON BUT THEIR SON IS DOING A THING SO THATS WHATS IMPORTANT

they still keep home videos from when Elliot was a baby despite his birthday wish being for them to burn all of the videos last year

Barry Allen

he’s the track coach at their school and everybody was ASTONISHED when he showed up to a football game

‘okay yeah I know where the track field is - can you all maybe chill I just wanna see my nephew hit his drums.’

He and Wally are the ‘Red headed Heathens’ of the school

a term coined by the principal himself

Barry is still trying to get Wally to join track (he is also still failing)

Blows his whistle like a fricking AIRHORN at games

Very big despite only working on his legs ever and also very affectionate so I hope you have a strong spine because he shows his appreciation via hugs

the only teacher with actual freckles

fRECKLES

‘I would give you some cool pep talk Wally but to be honest I have no idea what’s going on just go out and have fun.’

#what is this #idk #so take it #Marching Band AU #Jericho #Raven #See-More #SeeMore #the Herald #Mal Duncan #Bumblebee #Kyd Wykkyd #Billy Numerous #Mammoth #Kid Flash #Jinx #Punk Rocket

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