#also because i feel like its hard to convey tone sometimes

[bluegiragi]

mask off.

early access + nsfw on patreon

[lady-harrowhark]

Would you mind. Explaining what the heck the locked tomb (is this the name?) is about. You post a lot of it and I know ✨ nothing ✨ but it sounds kinda interesting??? Into dumping is ok if you feel like lol

I would LOVE to explain what The Locked Tomb is and you DID get the name right and it IS interesting!

So, it's a book series written by Tamsyn Muir and three of the anticipated four books have been released so far. I say "anticipated four books" because it was originally a trilogy but then the last book was split up. I don't think any of us would mind if that happened again and it turned into a five book series. But I digress.

These books are notoriously hard to describe because they sort of encompass or transcend genres. It's a sci-fi fantasty horror murder mystery romcom situation. Plus, there's a LOT going on - I've often described them as an "intellectual escape room." There's so much happening that you don't realize is happening until it all comes together. Going back to the beginning after you've finished them is an entirely different experience than your first read because you can see how it was all laid out from the start - sometimes even in plain sight - and things take on completely different meanings. Also, each book is very different from the others. I adore all of these qualities.

So here's the gist of the premise for the first book:

Gideon Nav, orphan of mysterious origins, has been raised on the Ninth House as an indentured servant and trained as a swordswoman. The Ninth House has become isolated from the rest of the empire and its very existence is threatened by the dwindling population and lack of resources. Gideon is one of only two survivors of her generation, the other children having succumbed to a lethal illness when she was an infant. The other survivor is Harrowhark Nonagesimus, the Reverend Daughter of the Ninth, and the two have been at each other's throats their entire lives. Harrow's parents' deaths have been hidden from the rest of the Ninth (save for Gideon and a few of the Reverend Family's attendants) and Harrow has been secretly ruling in their stead for the past seven years, doing her best to keep the Ninth from falling into ruin. Harrow is a prodigious necromancer, specializing in working with bones. The Ninth receives a message from the Emperor requesting that each House send their heir and cavalier primary (a.k.a swordsman/bodyguard) to his home at the First House, where they are to attempt to piece together the process to becoming a Lyctor, one of his immortal Saints. Unfortunately, Harrow's cavalier has skipped town. Gideon begrudgingly accepts a deal meaning that she will pose as Harrow's cavalier in exchange for freedom from servitude. Upon arriving at the First House, the two meet the other Houses' heirs and their cavaliers and are informed that they will have to figure out the secret to Lyctorhood on their own, and that there will absolutely no communication with the outside empire. It's not long before someone turns up dead... and then another...

What immediately hooked me on the first book was the voice and tone; Gideon is a delightfully snarky narrator. Despite the humor, these books do not pull any punches with regard to emotional depth. Love and grief are at the center of everything these books do, circled by sacrifice and duty and gender and colonialism and religion.

This review is actually one of my favorite things to send to people to pitch them the books. It does a fantastic job of conveying both the premise and the tone of Gideon the Ninth. I also wrote a "pitch your fandom" piece that @wilfriede recorded and recently released. You can find both the audio and the transcript at this link.

I hope that gives you a sense of the series, and thank you for giving me the opportunity to ramble about the series that permanently altered my brain chemistry! If you ever get around to reading them, I would love to hear your thoughts :)

[mystarsohee]

Hiiii, I love your blog! Would you be willing to write something with cg!Shotaro?

coming right up

genre: fluff, like alot

shotaro visits his baby's newly opened restaurant, i wonder what he thinks of it!

!!! non-sexual agere, only cg name used is taro.

cg!shotaro gn!reader

"taro taro taro taro taro!!"

"baby baby baby baby baby!!!" he repeats back to you. you speedwalk over, with a grin on your face.

"are you busy? i wanna show you something.." you ask shotaro, not wanting to bother him if hes got things to do.

"for you, im never busy. show me!" he says, his response makes you feel warm inside. your taro always finds a way to make you feel special, even with simple words.

shotaro follows you into your room. its decorated with a few toys here and there, but right now you have a small table and play kitchen set up. he spots a small sign, made from a piece of paper and colored in with crayons. the sign reads "welcome!" shotaro was able to decipher it despite your not-so-eligible handwriting.

"what's this?" he asks.

"my restaurant! you gotta order something, i have no customers!!!!" you say, expressing your dismay at the fact nobody has visited your restaurant. you worked so hard, and the food is delicious!

"well then, i'd like to order a giant stack of chocolate chip pancakes!" he jokes.

"we don't.. we don't serve that.." you say shyly. you do not have a toy stack of pancakes..

"okay.. then a slice of pizza and some coffee. please!" he tries again. you light up, you have a pretend slice of pizza! and a toy coffee cup!

"coming right up!!!" you exclaim, making your way to the toy kitchen. shotaro sits at the small table, not wanting to break one of the small chairs, he opts to sit on the floor. he watches you pretend to put the slice of pizza in the oven, and also the way you wait for the non-existent coffee to come out of the play coffee machine he bought for you a few months ago. the reason he buys you a bunch of toys, is because you always play with them in a way where he cant take his eyes off of you. something about it, you just look so content, playing out scenarios in your mind. sometimes he wonders whats going on up there.

he gets knocked back to reality,

"hello? mr. taro. your coffee is here!" you hold out the plastic mug in front of you.

"oh, thank you baby!" he takes a sip, and you go back to preparing the rest of his meal, "oh my goodness. this is the best coffee ive ever had.." he mumbles to himself, acting like he didn't say that just to get a reaction out of you. he peeks over at you, you're giggling to yourself, whispering a small "yes!" you're very much satisfied with his feedback. you walk back over to him, standing up straight with a formal tone, just like the workers at real restaurants.

"how's your coffee? i have your pizza ready!" you say, in a very polite manner.

he mimicks your tone, "oh my, it might just be the best coffee i've ever tasted." he uses dramatic hand gestures to convey his emotions.

you grin at him, handing him his pizza. he responds with a, "thank you" deciding he wants to joke around with you, he starts to cough.

"excuse me! im allergic to pepperoni!!" he alerts you. it works, because your rushing over to him, trying to figure out what to do.

"the only way to fix it is with a big hug and kisses from a cute baby!" he says, and you realize. you're the cute baby! you need to save your taro! you quickly wrap your arms around him, and plant a multitude of kisses around his face. wanting to assure he doesnt struggle anymore, you kiss him so much and end with a tight hug.

"i'm sorry taro! i'll get you a cheese pizza.. coming right up!" you quickly hurry. you don't want him to be hungry! after you finish preparing a new dish and turn to give it to shotaro, hes blankly staring at you. along with him, one of your stuffies has arrived and sat on the chair next to him. also, staring blankly at you. you give him his pizza, as well as an extra kiss. (a precaution just in case hes "allergic" to this pizza too.)

after he receives his pizza and takes a bite, you watch to make sure he doesn't have another "allergic reaction". once you confirm he enjoys it, he whispers to you,"i think you have a new customer."

he watches you turn to the stuffie, and take its order. you make conversation with it, still he is so fascinated with the way you act when playing with your toys.

you turn around to create whatever meal the stuffed animal ordered, and shotaro focuses in on watching you cook your play food. he admires it, again you just seem so content with your surroundings. shotaro is more than grateful that you feel comfortable around him to be in your most vulnerable state. he won't ever grow tired of times like this.

author note: i cant do this omfg this is so cute. anyways i hope you enjoyed this anon! i loved writing it sm :> im sorry if ygs are looking for angsty or sad stories... i literally only know how to write fluff. i hope yall dont get bored of it 😭

as always, feedback is appreciated 💕

[lemon-sugarcoats-nothing]

How do you decide what to draw, and when it's done?

Text: "This is a great question! I usually "wing it" when it comes to deciding when my drawing is done. (More below)" "Finding ideas...? It kind of depends! Sometimes I'll get a strong picture form in my head while I'm doing something else. Other times I just sit and draw whatever."

Now to elaborate on my process for deciding when to stop, how far to go with shading, etc. Most of it has to do with how I feel about drawing something, but also to do with keeping things visually appealing. Here I've laid out each general step of my drawing process from start to finish:

1. Sketch, Meant to be quick and generally convey the subject. I will sometimes draw and post things just as cleaned up sketches if just adding visuals to a text post, for shit-posting, or just if I'm not too interested in what I'm drawing.

2. Line art, I almost never post *just* line art, but i will occasionally post line art with one color to fill in the silhouette to help with contrast and character recognizability.

3. Flat color, I often post ask responses at this stage (maybe with simple hard-edged shadows here or there), but outside of ask responses I only leave character reference art at this stage just because the colors are purest for the character. I don't usually leave it without simple shading because it can be hard to read the subject's form, and its not my cup of tea. I lightly airbrush a warm color over the line art so that the harsh black doesn't contrast too much with the bright colors.

4. Shaded, a step up from simple hard edge shading I'll layer more than one shading color (layer set to multiply and lowered opacity) and blend out the edges in some places to soften the form. Then I add lighting and highlights - first using a textured soft airbrush over a large area, then use a round airbrush with hard edges for the highlights, blending out the edges in some areas to soften the form. This is usually where i stop for simpler character pieces, either for ask responses or for personal art. (Highlight layers are set to "add-glow")

5. Atmosphere, or adding additional shading elements to engage the subject with an environment or specific lighting condition. Here I've done a sunset lighting condition - I put a purple color over the whole subject set to multiply and opacity lowered, then airbrushed a reddish orange tone (on a separate layer, set to add-glow and opacity lowered) over the highlighted areas to bring warmth back to the lit spots. Then deepened the shadows using the hard edge airbrush again, a dark blue color (multiply layer, lower opacity), and then blending some of the edges out to show the form better. This is where I'll merge the line-art layer with what i now have of the coloring and shading, if i didn't already do so prior. Last I went back over the highlights with the orangey color (add glow, lower opacity). Once I get to rendering like this, I don't often stop here because by this point I'm likely hyper fixated and will keep pushing the values and adding details until I get to 6.

6. Details and bounce light. I texture-airbrushed a blue bounce light color, erased some hard edges in using that hard edged airbrush and then blending some of the edges out. This then gave me a guide to add in bounce-highlights with a hard pen, that i blended out in some places. I then further pushed the main highlights using a hard pen and again, blended out the edges. All layers set to add glow and opacity lowered. This is where I'll usually stop for finished rendered pieces, because I struggle to find other things to add or change, and the hyperfixation is thinning out and caving into my hunger/sleepiness. Might add hard white highlight details, but those are the finishing touches.

7. Wtf details. Added in hair strand details and fly-aways, blades of grass, I'm up way too late and struggling to end the drawing process - Or im just enjoying rendering the hair. I almost never add in stray hairs like this, but it's something i enjoy visually.

Again, a lot of where I stop comes down to my energy, time, and the vibes I'm going for. Hope this answers your question!

[four-loose-screws]

Hello there, I’ve been playing a lot of Engage lately and I’ve been really enjoying it a lot. I’m writing in to ask you on what your general stance is on the whole discourse that has surrounded how certain S-Supports were translated. As for me, after reading a couple of them through, both the original versions and the localization, I personally don’t see that much a difference or disconnect between the two. While yes it can be argued that the localization did toned down a couple in a few cases, but even still I don’t think the general tone is really lost and in most cases it seems the only real notable difference is the usage of some select words in place of others which in a couple of cases might skewed into something that seems more platonic, but the rest of the conversation still seems to generally be pretty direct with how it’s translated. I also feel that even the original Japanese conversations generally speaking don’t feel nearly as romantic as they’ve been in previous games which has given me the impression that relationships in general are just simply greatly downplayed in Engage, and while that’s definitely apparent in a few other areas of the game I’ve definitely noticed it a lot through those conversations. It should be worth noting that I encountered the original Japanese conversations through Google Translate as well as other people’s own translations, and even with Google Translate I was still able to see what the initial tone of the dialogue was generally supposed to be and personally speaking didn’t think to was all that different from the official localization (minus a couple of choice words). I do think it’s worth noting that the wake-up events generally are more romantic than the conversations, or at least have more direct implications of it which I thought was interesting. However even with all of that, I would like to hear your opinion on all of this, from someone who is a speaker of Japanese, to get a further perspective on all of this. Thank you for reading this admittedly super long question as well as all the hard work you do for this community, hope everything is going well for you.

Hi and thanks for the support! :) Things have been a wild ride for me for a while now, but in an alright kind of way.

I chunked this out into 3 parts, because my brain gets lost in a whirlwind if I don't chunk up my writings.

Pt. 1 - Opinion Time!

My own personal opinion, in its own tiny little vacuum, is that I don't really care what changes a localization makes, for the most part. I see some changes as unfortunate - like those that put in pop culture or meme jokes that won't age well, in a game not already dating itself on purpose. But I don't have reason to become emotionally invested when I can look up and read the Japanese in my free time, analyze the differences between JP and localization in my free time, and use my blog to share those findings to those who don't know both languages.

The downside is I'm not available to blog like I used to be, but there's always been other people out there who know Jp./Eng. and are filling in the gaps. It's not a fun time to be subjected to the "LOCALIZATION STUPID, LOCALIZATION TEAM YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD" tone you sometimes see, but sifting through good and junk information is how research has always worked.

Now, to add on some nuance, because the world is a complex place and simplicity is a rarity. I think that it is very very valid to mourn what is lost because localization teams are trying to sell a product to a different audience, and simply cannot commit to trying to directly convey the exact same experience the JP version offered.

Not everyone is going to see the positives of localization as worth the cost. I love seeing FE spread to people I never imagined it would, because localization teams work hard to make the text engaging for non-JP audiences.

But media preservation is important too. Heck, I'm basically devoting my entire life to preservation by translating a collection of 20-30 year old novels! It's perfectly valid to value preservation of media over maximum outreach (and the big profits that come with it).

Also, just because I feel like pointing it out, I don't see localization as censorship. I feel like censorship is much more violent - a group in power trying to entirely eliminate media that does not fit their agenda for the purpose of control, etc. It's not like Treehouse is going around the internet, trying to remove and hide any record of the JP script or anything - they're just trying to guess what will sell the game outside of Japan, and protect Nintendo's brand. Nintendo could stop fan JP vs. localization analyzers at any point, but they don't, our content is all still out there for those who want to know more about the JP versions.

Pt. 2 - Talking directly about Engage & the S support conversations

Now, as for the conversations themselves!

My initial impression - Wow, the localization of these S supports compared to the Awakening days, is so different I'd think Engage was from a different franchise entirely! (For those who didn't play Awakening - the localization entirely rewrote some lines in many S supports - particularly many of the CG image quotes, in which each character says their final romantic words to Robin.)

Depending on the exact conversation, Engage's localization takes slightly different approaches towards making conversations with child & teen characters more platonic. Framme's support changes 'partner' to 'ally.' Meanwhile, Anna's support changes 'partner' to clearly mean 'business partner.' Clanne says "all I think about is you" in JP vs. "all I think about is helping you more," to shift the focus from implied romance, to keeping his relationship with Alear strictly as a master / guardian relationship.

For characters over 18, their conversations were not altered to remove romantic implications.

And, that's about the extent of it. Anon, you are exactly right in the summary Google Translate helped give you - the localized conversations always follow the original Japanese, save for toning down any lines w/ under 18 characters, that originally felt more romantic than platonic.

There is one huge sign that even the JP version wasn't as serious about committing to every S support being romantic, though - the CGs. Every character under 18 wears the ring on their middle finger instead of the wedding ring finger. Now, one could argue that the CGs are only that way because the artist was told to focus on the NA / international release, and I think that is a very valid possibility, but... many of the characters of all ages don't even wear the Pact Ring at all, and just hold on to it in their CG. And then there's the fact that the emblem rings are all worn on the wedding ring finger, when no one in the game has a romantic relationship with an emblem, so... yeah. I still don't think we're meant to read too hard into what wearing any ring on any finger means in this game.

I don't see any reason to do a deep analysis on any of the conversations, the changes are really that simple. But, as I always say, if anyone ever wants to see specific conversation(s) translated, then just send an ask my way! Straight translations tend to take less time than answering questions because I don't have to organize my personal thoughts, so they tend to be addressed the fastest!

Pt. 3 - Talking about Engage's romantic aspects in general (or lack thereof)

Overall, it is pretty easy to pick up on the sense that the devs weren't as interested in the romantic features of FE this time around - and in fact as I was writing all this out, I found a dev interview that briefly confirms the development of the game centered around Alear and the Emblem mechanics. The wake-up events might have been written as a middle ground to balance between those who wanted more romance, while taking focus overall off of the romance, but I've seen no sign of that being true in dev interviews.

Fire Emblem is Fire Emblem, and each FE game is always a grab bag of "What's coming back?" So it was always inevitable that even the romantic aspects would be toned down at some point, despite them being so present and essential to the popularity of three whole games in a row (Awakening, Fates, and Three Houses). I'm a long time fan, who knows that's how FE operates, so I enjoy it. But understandably every game will cause some controversy with those who aren't used to, or don't like, the rapid changes.

To me, as a fan since the GBA/GC days, Engage feels kind of like a fun return to GBA form, where supports always felt like a roulette wheel. Which relationships would read romantic? Platonic? Would the relationship seem platonic in the A support, then the characters get married in the ending card anyway? Would family or platonic pairs get an ending card? Who knew!

That being said, make no mistake!! Engage leans as hard as ever into FE's main overarching theme about bonds - that bonds are strength, and the glue that carries all FE protagonists to victory! There's just not as much of a focus on the romantic bonds this time around. In true FE form, you never know when the devs are going to dump, or at least shift focus away from, previous features.

I think I've gotten all I had on my mind typed out now - but anyone can feel free to follow up the conversation if you want in another ask!

-----------

(Note for full context: I read through about 10-15 or so of the S / Ring Supports before starting my reply to this ask, picking out some of the youngest characters, as well as a random sampling of others for balance. ...I didn't even try to read them all, I could only handle so many of essentially the same conversation in a row, before my head started spinning, ha ha.)

[yuzukahibiscus]

Yuzuka Rei: In her heart, a blue flame is ablaze.

She captivates the attention in the moments when she’s on stage, with a balanced body proportion. In the depths of her eyes radiate ever brilliant rays, the Top Star has a passion for the stage coupled with a profound love for the troupe.

Yuzuka Rei-san became the Flower Troupe Top Star in November 2019. Ever since the Grand Theatre debut performance, performances were often impacted and inflicted by the corona pandemic.

“The different feeling was I watched the news more than I used to before…Compared to that time, we’re in a world now where you’d have an awareness realising what’s going on, how we’re supported by many people and I wonder how I was blessed in this environment to continue pursue in performing arts. And also, in the midst of various situations, the importance of the audience coming to the theatre became ever stronger for me as the days passed. When there were some difficult times that things couldn’t go well as planned, the words and thoughts of the people were a salvation to me, and they left a strong impression in my heart.

This is why her speeches for the first day (Shonichi) and last day (Senshuuraku) of every performance became ever more in-depth, and you can feel that she’s someone that’s you can rely on. With what she conveys, she gives a small smile saying, “That is just my reply to the words of the audience. That’s only what I received from all the support of the audience”.

“Usually this is a great troupe of 80 people. In this life of pursuing the arts, it is quite difficult to nurture every single bond. But apart from standing on stage, I also made firm use of the time to interact with every one even to the Flower Troupe underclassmen. From understanding their different personalities, charms and values, my ideal is to hone every one of these members’ charms and mentality, and we can work together well. No matter if it’s for the underclassmen, I hope that every one of them actually feel that they have their place here so their presence is necessary, and create that great motivation. To do that, a trustworthy relationship is indispensable and I believe that this can be connected with the charm of the production.”

From Yuzuka-san’s sophisticated vibe and beauty, she has a radiating star aura and her relaxed performance in beautiful dancing, making her someone prominent from early on. But there was a time when she wasn’t confident in herself.

“I did have “my aspiration”… but then I felt that I couldn’t accept myself for not reaching a certain point and I wasn’t confident. Overcoming that is a challenge I set for myself, that I want to defeat little by little the places that I didn’t like in myself. If I could breakthrough a little more, if I could work hard a little more…I realised that that’s what I emphasised on doing.”

Calm and resilient. That’s why she has this sincerity for standing on stage.

“From when I was young, I’ve been someone that’s hard on myself (LOL). I’m the type that laughs when I talk to people, but refresh my mindset again when I look upon myself.”

We also asked about the charm of her indescribable relaxed poise and sexiness on stage. Perhaps because she’s a dancer by nature, she has a beautiful and comfortable rhythm seen in her acting and casual gestures. When the audience are immersed into the music tones and the tones change suddenly, the audience would be fascinated.

“I don’t know if I could say I was aware to that. It’s not just the music, but it’s also about breathing with my partner, or counting the beats and rhythm in my heart. It doesn’t matter if the audience breathes in that vibe are different, or when I feel surprised or excited. Even the whole atmosphere of the theatre and its speed… I realise there are some parts where I unconsciously felt myself (channeling the charm), for example"this scene is where I should be sexy” so I’d intentionally release that vibe. But rather than always thinking about it, sometimes I feel like I present (the charm) by catching the vibe of that moment.”

She starts 2023 by acting in the Takarazuka classic “MAYERLING” and playing as the protagonist,  Austria Crown Prince Rudolf, as well as performing in the show “ENCHANTEMENT – A Luxurious Perfume”.

“When I played Rudolf during the role swap in the production “Elisabeth – The Rondo of Love and Death”, I started becoming intrigued by Rudolf because I read a book related to him. But at that time I was so desperate to play him, so I wasn’t able to dig deep into this character. He’s someone that existed, so I would like to approach this character delicately this time. About the show, encountering any scene is purely excitement. I also aim to simply skill-up. As a person and in terms of technicality. I hope to train and practise more about that.”

Yuzuka Rei ・ Born in Tokyo. Entered Takarazuka Revue in 2009, assigned to Flower Troupe. Starting with “Last Tycoon”, she performed as the main role of 3 newcomers’ performances, and became more popular by playing important roles even from early on in grand theatre performances. Became the Top Star in 2019.

[loveless-scribes]

✨🛒👀🥺🤩🎉🌞🎢

Oh, wow! That's a bunch! Thanks so much for sending the ask, let's dive right in! <3 ✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉 This is hard, especially right now because I'm really struggling with my writing. My ideas aren't clear and I feel like they don't line up with one another or that the tone shifts abruptly because the way I'm feeling has changed between one writing session and the next. I guess I hope that my writing makes people FEEL things. That's my main goal most of the time. And I think I'm pretty good at surprising people, too. So, to put that in compliment form I think I'm alright at conveying emotions and I have a knack for those plot twists. XD 🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc. I feel like I'm always writing about death even when I'm not planning to, it just kind of works its way back in there. Also, I guess another common theme would be the deep connections that people can form with one another, against all odds, against their better judgement, and sometimes even to their own detriment. I guess that's a hopeful theme in a way, people staying even when you're sure they'll walk away. Also, my protagonist needs to be a little messed up in the head. Anything else is hard and boring to write. I love writing crazy people and then humanizing them to the reader. 👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please! Barring AM spoilers, and the Sukuna fic I teased about on my alt, I want to write a short story about a world where voluntary self-elimination is both legal and readily accessible. The idea's been floating around in my head for a while - what that would look like, what the logistics around it would be, how friends and family would react, the inevitable desensitization towards death. I do hope to get that one down sometime soon because I'm really inspired to write it. 🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels? I think I hinted at this already, but I love it when one character is sure the other is going to leave them, but they don't. Not even necessarily in a romantic sense. It could be a friendship, or a parent-child relationship or what have you. Just that feeling of, "I've gone too far, it's over" but it's not, because that person would never leave. Staying by each other's side whether or not they understand the full context. Not even necessarily needing the context to know that they're on your side. I guess that's why it's a recurring theme in LS's relationship.

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write? This used to be an easy "Levi, hands down - all day, every day." But lately, Slayte has become my favorite. Especially with her current struggles in the story, I just have a soft spot for her and the stuff she has to go through, I guess. She's also the character that most meets my "crazy protag" criteria, so there's that. 🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success? When people tell me I made them cry. It sounds mean, but there's no better feeling. That's when my inner critic has no choice but to shut up because OMG THEY SHED REAL TEARS. (I've defo cried, too, while writing AM so no worries.) 🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write? When everyone is either asleep or out of the house. Early mornings are the best, but work always gets in the way. I would be better able to answer this question if I wasn't so tired all the time. ^^

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride? I think it's the Sukuna darkfic duology on my alt @azureashes. It's just so crazy and out there. Idk if I would consider AM a "wild ride" since it definitely has its wholesome and comforting moments. I actually think hurt/comfort is a huge theme in AM. Maybe we should add it to the tags. Thanks for the ask, Anon! <3

[iriswords]

Febuwhump Day 11 - Fever

You can also read this on ao3 and find the rest of my febuwhump fics here

tw: sickness, passing out

Fandom: Batman

Words: 

Damian is not sick. And because he is not sick, he does not need to be benched, or put to rest. He can carry on just fine, a stuffed nose and achy throat are not going to stop him from fulfilling his duty as Robin. That is, until it transforms into more than just a stuffed nose and an achy throat.

--

Damian is not sick. He is just… slightly unwell. And wishing he weren’t. But that is beside the point. What matters is that he is not sick. 

“If you say so, Master Damian,” says Alfred in a pointed voice that indicates he most definitely does not believe Damian. 

Damian scoffs. He is a Wayne and an al-Ghul. He does not get sick. Stuffed noses and irritated throats mean nothing. Not any more than the thick cough he has been harboring for the past two days, or the pressure slowly building behind his eyes and in his skull. 

“I am not sick,” he repeats for Pennyworth’s sake, who raises a skeptical eyebrow. “My immune system is far too good for me to get something as vulgar as seasonal flu.”

“Of course, Master Damian. And we are lucky that it is so. It would be a shame if you really were sick and refused to admit it. Not only would it be detrimental to your own well-being, but also, and potentially more gravely so, to that of Master Tim, whose spleen is missing.” Damian snorts, but a wisp of guilt swirls in his gut. Alfred has very strong opinions about Drake’s non-existent self-preservation instincts, and though he never voices them, his facial expressions and tone of voice are more than enough to convey them anyhow. 

“Drake will be fine because I am not sick,” Damian says and is overtaken by a particularly violent coughing fit the second his words are out of his mouth.

Sometimes, he thinks the universe amuses itself by purposely defeating his plans, or proving him wrong. He does not like it at all. Unfortunately, the universe is not an entity that can be fought against, and Damian has no choice but to endure its jokes and whims. 

By the time Damian is done trying to cough out a lung, Alfred is handing him out a glass of water, his lips quirking slightly with the ghost of a smile. Damian takes it reluctantly, ignoring the sudden and ferocious pounding in his head. 

“Thank you, Pennyworth. I’ll go, now that we have agreed I am not sick and thus need neither medicine nor to be benched tonight.” 

“Do as you wish, Master Damian.” 

And Damian does. Or, at least, he tries to. Focusing is hard when the pain in his head increases with each minute that passes, until he can barely think. He could search the Manor for painkillers. He does not have any in his bathroom, but he knows there are some around in the house. But that would mean admitting something is wrong with him, and Damian refuses to appear weak. He will just have to wait out the headache.

He falls asleep on his bed, curled up against Titus. He wakes from his nap feeling worse, and grumpy because he just took a nap in the middle of the afternoon like a child. He rolls out of bed, muscles sore like after a rough patrol, and slips on a warm hoodie to attenuate the shivers running through him. 

Damian then sneaks out of his room, putting all of his training to use, and heads for Father’s bathroom. Damian knows it is always stacked with most of the common medicine they might need, and Father is away for the day, busy with WE meetings. The only people in the house who could bother him in his secret search for painkillers are Drake, who will not come out of his room unless he needs more coffee or the world is coming to an end, and Pennyworth, who somehow seems to know everything that is going on under this roof.

Damian has looked for proof the butler is not human, but he has found none, and he tells himself that it is only a mix of coincidence and impressive observational skills if Alfred always seems to know everything. Nonetheless, as he rummages through the cabinets of Father’s bathroom, trying to breathe through his mouth—since his nose has lost the ability to—deep enough to get some air in his lungs and shallow enough not to trigger yet another coughing fit, a hand knocks elegantly on the door. 

Damian whips around and nearly slips on the shower mat. Pennyworth sends him a patiently impatient look, one that signifies he has known all along what Damian was up to. And what he is hiding. 

“Are you looking for anything, Master Damian?” asks the butler. 

“No,” lies Damian, and convinces no one.

Mercifully, Alfred does not press him for the truth. Damian knows he knows it already. 

On the bedside table in Damian’s room, a glass of water and a pill have been deposited. When Alfred stops by later, only one remains. Neither of them addresses it.

 Perhaps Damian should have listened to Alfred and let himself be benched tonight. His headache subsided in the early evening, thanks to the painkiller Alfred left him, but the rest of his symptoms have not. If anything, Damian has the impression they have only gone crescendo. Even the headache is showing its nose again, a faint, distant throb in his temples. 

Damian follows Batman wordlessly tonight, not even throwing quips at his brothers over the comms. He focuses on his footing and his grapple as he and Batman shoot through the skyline. He lets the autopilot in his brain take over as they fight unimportant thugs. His movements are sharp and precise, instinctual more than deliberate, ingrained in his brain and muscles. But they lack their usual strength and viciousness, all of it sipped away by whatever common cold he came down with. No matter, Damian will be damned if he lets it hinder his work as Robin. If he lets it hinder Batman’s work. 

Damian must do a good enough job of hiding it because Batman does not notice. He praises Damian for his efficiency as they zip-tie the goons they have just taken down and Damian thanks him with a nod. Exhaustion pulls his limbs down, threatening to make his knees give out underneath him. He leans against the wall and tunes out the world around him. He has a couple of minutes. As always, Batman will call the police and wait for them to come so he can hand the thugs to them. 

Damian dozes off without meaning to. Batman wakes him with a hand on his shoulder. Two police cars are parked in the street, and the thugs are being shoved in them. 

“Tired?” asks Batman. Damian shrugs. He is more than tired. But if Father has not noticed, Damian will not tell him. “We can end early if you are,” continues Batman.

“It has been a calm night so far. Or you can head to the Cave alone, if you prefer.” 

“No!” replies Damian in a haste. His voice cracks on the word, and a cough scrapes his throat. Damian holds it in and repeats himself. “I am fine,” he adds. “We may resume patrol.” 

Batman nods slowly, slightly doubtful, but doesn’t insist. 

 The calm night does not last. Soon enough, Red Robin calls for backup. Scarecrow has broken out of Arkham unnoticed and is preparing another fear toxin outbreak, and Red Robin just so happened to stumble upon his hideout during patrol. Robin and Batman fly to Red Robin’s location immediately.

They slap their rebreathers on as they arrive, and make their entrance through one of the broken windows. Red Robin is outnumbered in a sea of goons hyped up on a fear toxin deviancy. Batman throws himself into the fight, but Damian discreetly waits behind. His breaths are too-short and heaving, his throat itching with the desire for a cough. Damian ignores it, draws out his katana, and engages with the closest goon. 

Hood and Nightwing join them before long, and eventually, the fight dies out, the goons sprawled on the ground, unconscious or wishing they were. Scarecrow is nowhere to be seen. Damian stands in the middle of the open floor amongst fallen thugs. He is struggling to catch his breath, coughing every thirty seconds. His head throbs violently, his blood pulsing against his temples. The world dances under his feet, tilting and turning. He is both too hot and too cold, his skin over-sensitive against his suit. He will not make it far. 

Part of the strength of a good warrior, would say Father, is to know when you are defeated and to admit it. Grandfather would strongly disagree, but Damian chooses to listen to his father. He spins on his feet, looking for the dark shadow of Batman. He finds the man across the room, talking to one of the thugs. Nightwing stands over his shoulder, while Red Robin and Hood are hunched over something Red Robin is holding. 

Damian’s limbs move sluggishly, all of his usual ease and grace gone. He stumbles and sways with each step. A low whine nestles in his throat. He wants to curl up under a warm blanket and never leave its protection ever again. 

Ten feet away from Batman, Damian stops to try and catch his breath. His father looks up at him just at the same time. His lips press together and he stands up to his full height. Damian really doesn’t feel good. He opens his mouth to tell his father so but passes out before he can. 

 He wakes up in flashes. 

Something sharp prods at his arm. He tries to take it away, but they don’t let him. He curses them in a language that doesn’t sound like theirs. Someone smoothes his sweat-soaked hair back. 

Against someone’s chest, in a moving vehicle. Someone is barking orders. Damian thinks he is crying. He can’t be sure. And if he is, he does not know why. 

Someone carries him, jostling him with every step. There are voices all around. Damian tunes them out and goes back to sleep. 

Someone holds him up. A glass presses against his lips. He turns his head away. His throat hurts, and he doesn’t want to swallow anything. They insist. For lack of energy, he obeys. Then, they strip him of his blankets, and Damian cries. He falls back asleep shivering, arms wrapped tightly around himself. 

 The next time Damian opens his eyes, he is warm. The Medbay cot dips under his weight as he sits up. His muscles, still sore, protest against the movement, but he ignores them. All of his brothers are slumped in chairs at the side of the bed. Father is talking quietly to Pennyworth by the door. Damian snuggles against the blankets that have been given back to him, and goes back to sleep. 

@febuwhump

[one-abuse-survivor]

Hi can you be mad at someone whos going through a hard time? My dad is a jerk to my mum a lot, and shes already gone through a lot in life, like a lot a lot, but shes also abused me and can get really mad with me and just be mean. its confusing inside cos its like i dont like her, but i just feel so much guilt for that because she has no one left and the one guy she loves is a jerk and idk it just makes my stomach flip lol. today she bought us all popeyes, cost a lot too haha, but my dad flat out refused to try it. was so mad at my mum for buying him chicken cos he apparently suddenly hates it, and got really mad at my mum. she ate in the kitchen away from him, then made him some noodles. his response? 'what are you doing, why did you make me them??' like very ungratefully, its hard tk convey tone over text haha. like idk he just demands everything of her all the time, never does anything for himself never mind anyone else. it makes me so mad. and feel so guilty. cos i feel like i cant be mad at mum, i mean its not fair for her im the only one whos nice to her idk how long she has left and i just want her to have a happy life yk? but sometimes she makes me super mad lol. is that allowed? can both feelings exist? i dont know how to properly fix it in my head

Hey, nonnie. The short answer is: yes, you can be mad at someone who's going through a hard time. And, yes, you can be affected and traumatised by a person's abuse even if that person is also going through abuse. Both things can coexist. And, even in scenarios that don't involve abuse, if someone causes harm to another person, that harm doesn't magically disappear because the person who caused it was struggling. Their struggle may explain the harm, but it doesn't justify or nullify it.

I really relate to the fears you express in this ask, because when I was going through abuse, my abusive mother was also going through hell. She wasn't being abused, but she was really struggling, and she repeatedly reminded me I was the only person who still cared about her and supported her. So, for a long time, I also felt extremely guilty for hating her for abusing me. She made me feel like she deserved my support more than I deserved to want to be safe from her. And I felt like any negative emotion I had toward her was selfish and extremely unfair.

But that was the abuse talking, and the truth is that no one, no matter how much they are suffering, is entitled to abuse someone else without consequence. And, as a victim, you are always, always allowed to put your safety first. Even if you're (either supposedly or literally) the only person in your abuser's life who is still kind or supportive towards them, you are allowed to want to stop being that person for them. You're allowed to take any and every step you can to seek safety. And you're definitely allowed to be angry at your abuser for hurting you.

It's okay if this is hard to believe right now. But I hope it helps to hear that the guilt and uncertainty do decrease during recovery, once you've given yourself space and time away from your abuser. It won't always feel like you're horrible and selfish for being angry she hurt you.

I can't remember where, but I once heard someone say that your anger is the part of you that knows you never deserved to be hurt; your anger is the part of you that loves you. That really stuck with me. And, when I started therapy to recover from my abuse, one of the first things I remember my therapist telling me was that once you start feeling anger without guilt whenever someone wrongs you, that's a sign you're getting better. Because anger is the appropriate reaction to being mistreated. Guilt, in this case, is a trauma response.

To reinstate: your mum is going through abuse, and you are allowed to be furious at her for abusing you in turn. They can coexist.

Hope some of this helps to hear. Sending you a big virtual hug ❤️

[okayto]

Mini-Review: The Heike Story

A young orphan named Biwa is taken in by the powerful Taira Clan—also known as the Heike—after their leader witnesses her extraordinary psychic abilities. Unfortunately, what she predicts is a future of bloodshed, violence, and civil war. Inspired by the 12th-century epic tale Heike Monogatari.

Something different from the normal genres I watch, this is an adaptation of a nearly millennia-old epic. I think that’s pretty clear going in, and I have at least heard of The Tale of the Heike, though my knowledge stopped at “Heian period story involving military,” which isn’t wrong, but clearly barely scratches the surface.

The main character is Biwa, named after the stringed instrument she plays. With her father, they wander the country, performing to earn their living. But Biwa also has a secret: one of her heterochromatic eyes sometimes sees the future. When her life intersects with that of a Heike nobleman who takes her in, she gets a front-row seat to the approaching civil war he hopes to avert.

Knowing some history or context undoubtedly helps. For example, Biwa is a biwa (similar to a lute) player, and often narrates the story over her instrument. Looking some things up online after I watched, I read that the story was traditionally told, and passed down (even to the Japanese monks who first wrote it down a couple hundred years after the war), by traveling biwa players. So Biwa-the-character’s presence, more than just an observer and narrator, ties in to its history in Japan.

That said, you don’t have to know Japanese history for this! Like many historical stories, that probably helps, but things like power struggles, politics, and war are easily understood (and reliably entertaining in fictional form) regardless.

Court and political intrigue, battle, ghosts--it feels like an epic. And while it gets serious, those parts hit so much harder because of the first episodes, which both get us established, and show us that the main nobles we’ll see--Shigemori, the kind-hearted noble who takes Biwa in, and his four children--are really likable.

That makes it hit harder when Biwa sees what’s coming, but can’t stop it. This helplessness in the face of future tragedy really makes it feel like a classical story. There are bad decisions, there is hubris, and there are so, so many people who pay for it.

One criticism I have is that it’s really hard to tell the passage of time, unless the characters state it outright. Biwa herself hardly changes throughout (and at least one character remarks on this), and adults don’t change much, so it’s really only through characters we meet as children that we understand that several years pass during this series. I really think they could’ve done a better job of conveying the passing of time.

Also a bit confusing were the many similar names, which isn’t helped by the occasional character designs that were also similar (Emperor Go-Shirakawa and Taira no Kiyomori, head of the Taira/Heike clan, were both bald old men who I frequently mixed up). All the names, except for Biwa, come from the original Heike Monogatari, so can’t be helped, but when yet another finely-dressed noble shows up on screen, it was hard to visually differentiate some, and the names were often similar (Shigemori, Kiyomori, Koremori, Munemori, Sukemori, Atsumori)

There’s a melancholy tone as the Heike continue or are drawn towards conflict, and all Biwa can do is watch, bearing witness to a civil war that she eventually shares as a musical tale. The melancholy tone is aided by the biwa music, strings echoing without accompaniment.

Framing of the camera and similar decisions also added to the story. Just like how the characters, in such polite high society would allude to things and talk around a point rather than bluntly stating something outright, the camera often focuses on a character’s back, or hands, or lower part of their face, letting the viewer making the connection with what’s happening, or what the character is feeling, without showing it outright.

Verdict

English dub? Yes

Visuals: Very nice! The art style, with its flat colors, minimal shading, and not overly-stylized character designs, might bring to mind woodblock prints.

Worth watching? Yes, although it’s not something I binged due to its more serious, and heavy, nature. I usually watch lighter or more humorous shows, so it was a change to go into something that tells you up front “hey, this is the story of a war and a clan’s downfall.”

Where to watch (USA, as of February 2023): Funimation, Crunchyroll

Click my “reviews” tag below or search “mini review” on my blog to find more!

[castlebyersafterdark]

I have a bit of a meta-question! you seem chill and thoughtful so i would love to hear your thoughts and i hope you feel happy to speak for yourself if not other bylers in this case. its hard to convey my interest without causing accidental offense on this site so i really hope my genuine tone comes across! :)

i just saw your positive reblog of wisehearts post about top mike/service mike, and i also saw your post about byler wrestling that you then tagged as as a projection of a teenage fantasy. seeing as you seem to understand/support the concept of gleaning sexual pleasure from a beloved's pleasure alone, i wonder if you can comment on the tendency in spicy byler fanspaces for people to project on to mike and will rather than try to follow what the show has laid down only? obviously sometimes these things blend, which is why people related to them in the first place, and ofc you can take from real life to enrich characters in your own work. but i see a lot of people saying 'maybe i'm just projecting' or even sort of defensively demanding that their fav character is the same as them just because (this happens a lot in the bi mike debate).

this is an interesting phenomenon in and of itself, but mostly i'm curious about the fans who project on to mike and will AND who seem to enjoy the above-described service kink in byler sex, where one character gleans pleasure solely from the other's. perhaps that is ALSO a projected kink that reflects them irl, and which they would love to see for their fav character... but doesn't the act of projecting - i.e. seeking self-validation through a fictional character - then negate the concept of being in service to another's pleasure (in this case, letting mike and will be who they are in canon even if/when it does not reflect the fan themself)?

i hope this makes sense!

This kind of makes sense, though I'm not one hundred percent sure what you're getting at, so I'll try my best. I guess I'll focus on the idea you present with: "the tendency in spicy byler fanspaces for people to project on to mike and will rather than try to follow what the show has laid down only?" because the big thing I feel, is that as much as we can watch and rewatch and discuss and theorize and analyze - there are big gaps where we as fans are going to have to fill in a lot via our own bias and imagination. Because in all honesty, we're not going to get a very in-depth look detailing these character's sexual relationship. Or, actual non-sexual relationship as well, to be frank. There's not enough time. It's not that type of show. I hope they do a good job and I think the writers will - but it'll always be limited in comparison to fan wishes. I think people can have fun and make conjectures and even if far off base, keep it light with little head canons or scenarios, doing our best to imagine these characters in whatever situation we want to play with them in ways we think can be interpreted true to the characters. Especially in the spicy side. It's almost entirely imagination based.

So, there is a fair bit of projection. I know there is for me. What personally appeals to me about them is a projection of what I wished I could have had as a teenager. That's what hit me watching the show in later seasons and really sitting with it after all was said and done. I've said before, I don't like to share tooooo much of myself online, but I've always used fandom to escape and play around and let my imagination run, by means of characters I've gotten attached to. Something about these boys just scratched that itch for me, it's wish fulfillment to a degree? So it's intriguing to explore what a fulfilling relationship looks like between these two friends who are really, really perfect for each other as best friends AND romantic partners. I think I and many other have latched onto the idea of a character being a "service" type of person in the bedroom sometimes, and out, maybe a little echo-chambery way (but it's not a bad thing so what's the issue lol), because it is kind of nice to imagine a partner who truly cares and loves the other and really enjoys making sure they have pleasure and get off and feel worshiped and loved. I think it's a little bit of a heightened fantasy, more almost caricatured than the average relationship irl (even tho this is a legitimate thing in irl relationships, too). But in fandom through fic and headcanons, we can perfect thinking about it however we want.

We're playing with dolls, really, and we like when the dolls really care about each other, in this instance. I don't think there's one "you have to do it this way" depiction of these characters, even if there are tropes that seem popular to different fandom spaces. Also because since the show, while I think is really rich with characterizations, can never fully flesh out who these characters are, if we envision them as fully realized people in our brains. There's too many gaps. So there are infinite interpretations of small aspects that are all equally valid.

[dogsgone]

ooc/rules/cw

mun is kris. 24. they/them, anxious bastard lol

updated 7/3/23: the wrath month edition

the roulxs:

18+ only

minors and personals will be soft blocked. upon following again: hard block.

if you are a personal with an rp sideblog please make it clear on your blog or just tell me because otherwise you might get blocked.

minor MUSES are fine though

i read rules pages for every blog i follow that has one but i have a shit memory so if i accidentally breach one of your rules please let me know. or block me if it’s that egregious but please for the love of god do not publicly @ me who the fuck does that. do not make a callout post for me being forgetful like a fucking weirdo. if i breach a rule that is not on your rules page then i’m sorry, i’m not a mind reader.

on the “q slur:” i’ll do my best to tag is as “#q //” that’s q, two slashes. keep in mind i identify with that word, strongly. if it angers you that i would dare use a “"slur”“ to label myself or whatever, remember “gay” has seen just as much use as a slur. i grew up in the american south, i’ve heard both words used for the same harmful reasons. sorry if this comes off as angry or petty, but if you were continually told that “gay” is a slur and you shouldn’t use it for yourself, you’d be tired and angry too, wouldn’t you? i’ll do my best to tag for it, but i will die on this hill.

please tag spiders/scorpions/arachnids, hanging/nooses, and also maybe trypo/holes thanks

semi-selective i will roleplay with most fandoms, ocs, and muses also not moots exclusive.

please don’t like. involve me in drama or callouts or shit. i’m just here trying to play fucking online dolls

with the above said i do reserve the right to block/cease interacting with ppl who make me uncomfortable, just like you reserve the right to block/cease interacting with me if i make u uncomfortable. i prefer to try to come to some kind of understanding first, but sometimes it doesn’t work out that way

please note that i, the mun, am mentally ill and neurodivergent. in a lot of cases, my muses will share some of my own personal struggles to sort of like. explore these things myself and shit. link in particular shares a lot of my neurodivergencies and chronic pain. shit gets frustrating and sometimes roleplaying a tiny elf twink going thru the same shit helps a bit. u know how it is.

though link may act a bit naive and sometimes even childish, he is still very much an adult. not a “rule” exactly just something to keep in mind.

sorry if some of these seem overly detailed or serious. i’ve been around the block when it comes to rp tumblr i’m just trying to cover all my bases in at least a semi concise manner.

also sorry if any of this comes off as passive aggressive or rude. i can’t parse or regulate tone for shit like in an actual verbal conversation, trying to convey it thru text is damn near impossible for me lmao

i’m really just a tired nerd who is trying to have fun on this hellsite.

um that’s all i can think of for now may add or change more later thanks for reading have a great time

content warnings:

Content warnings for this blog include, but may not be limited to:

- Religious trauma

- Violence, death, etc.

- The inherent psychological torment that comes with being cursed to reincarnate forever and ever, only to be brought into the world when evil once again threatens to destroy everything, and having only a single use and purpose in life to the goddess one serves, that being the wielder of her sacred blade to seal away the evil once more, until it inevitably rears its ugly head again. I guess this goes under religious trauma.

- Mental illness and trauma in general.

- Lycanthropy.

That’s all I can think of for now; if more comes up, I’ll add to this list, and as always, if I’m unsure of anything, I will tag it with #ask to tag, so feel free to blacklist that tag if you need to.

[your3fundamentaltruths]

hit the mark

Or, a vignette set sometime in the future after the latest Polin clip (spoilers). You can also find this on AO3. Part of the counting series.

—

When her mother finally releases her from yet another fruitless frog-march about the ballroom, Penelope retreats to her favorite corner with a sigh of relief.

Not long after, Colin sidles up to her, offering up a glass of lemonade that she accepts gratefully.

She’s thirsty and exhausted and would probably have pled a headache and begged to go home had she not a column to deliver. She sighs dolefully at the thought before taking a long sip.

“My, Pen,” says Colin, “you sound serious.”

She sighs again. “My mother refuses to understand that I feel unaccountably shy around gentlemen,” she complains, “and that so it is doubly exhausting when she drags me about to every eligible gentleman in the ballroom.” She cuts off the self-deprecating end of the thought: with whom she thinks I might actually have a chance.

“Why, Miss Featherington,” Colin protests in tones of gravest mock-outrage, “are saying I am not a gentleman?”

“Whatever do you mean?”

Colin smiles and holds up one finger. “You’re not shy around me.” Then a second: “And your mother didn’t drag you over to me. I had to come find you.”

She might have smoothed it all over by saying something like somehow, I don't think my mama’s definition of eligible encompasses a gentleman adamantly against marriage. But a painful memory she has worked very, very hard to suppress rises to the surface of her thoughts, followed by an even older one that will never cease to sting, and makes her stand up straighter. She laughs a little, even though it feels false and strained.

“Well then?”

She tries very hard to sound casual and hopes her countenance conveys some condescension, something like oh, you silly boy. “What I’m saying, Colin,” she says sweetly, deliberately casual in using his Christian name, “is that you don’t count. You are my friend.”

Colin’s smile remains perfectly steady, eyes as bright as ever, without even the faintest flicker or falter. “Of course.”

She wants to scream. “I should go before my mama mistakes you for a gentleman I might marry.” She makes her best attempt at a bright, conspiratorial smile despite the sudden sting in her eyes. “We certainly wouldn’t want that now, would we?” She nods tightly, turns, and walks away in search of Eloise before he can say of course not in that same perfectly even tone with that same perfectly easy smile on his face, emotions entirely unengaged.

She looks forward to – prays for – the day when she can regard him just as he regards her.

—

Of course, Penelope doesn’t see how quickly he tosses his drink back as soon as her back is turned.

Because he has become so adept at hiding his true feelings behind a mask of good cheer, she has not the faintest idea that every word that echoed in her heart and passed her lips hit its mark.

Nor can she begin to guess precisely how Colin spends the rest of his evening, attempting in vain to drive out the memory of the most perfectly awful conversation of his life.

[inquisitorius-sin-bin]

3, 19, 23, 28, 32, 33

Thanks for the ask!

3. How would you describe your writing style?

Hmm, well for one I'm definitely not a stickler for traditional grammatical rules, I use punctuation and sentence length as I see fit to convey the mood or train of thought of the character. I try to write very stream-of-consciousness, so if a character is scared or has an intrusive thought, the sentences may only be one or two words long. Lots of internal dialogue.

For my more scientifically-minded characters, they'll get on a stream of thought and their sentences will go on for like 3 lines. I also don't care about starting with dialogue or sounds or whatever. Starting can often be the hardest part- whatever just feels right, I go with, and don't second guess. If the work is good no one will care how it started, right?

I'm very character-focused in my work, and I like for every part of the perspective to come from that, from the descriptions to the internal and external dialogue. What is this character perceiving, thinking, feeling, right now?

19. Share a snippet from a wip without giving any context for it.

“Kuris aras tu?” Who are you?

Your hand darts to the grip of your blaster.

Renson and Vanyiel react abruptly to your movement, readying their pikes. Why didn’t they react sooner? Their visors scan the area.

“Something wrong?” Renson asks, an unusual hint of nerves to his tone.

“Don’t you hear that?”

If anything, his senses are typically sharper than yours.

“Kuris aras tu, motina?”

You draw your blaster free, sweat beading at the back of your collar.

Motina. The word mulls over in your mind, but you have no source to point your blaster to. A cool dread pools in your abdomen, and you clench your jaw.

The silence of your guards says everything. They don’t hear a word. They search and listen for something apparently only existing inside your head.

“Motina?”

Don’t call me that, “Virt'ne visita nun anas!” you shout.

Your echo clatters through the halls, followed by a deathly silence that allows you to hear your heartbeat in your ears.

Then, you hear only giggles.

23. Dialogue or description? Why is the other one so hard?

Dialogue comes more naturally for me, I suspect because I am really character focused. These characters are constantly speaking and interacting in my head and the dialogue is what sells it in my mind. To write descriptions I often find myself performing emotions or gestures and trying to describe them, then asking Marshall if they make sense. They often don't. And scene descriptions are the worst! Its the weeds I have to get through to arrive at the meat of the scenes I want to write. Yes its important but writing it down is the worst.

28. Any writing advice that works for you and you feel like sharing?

Holy shit I love writing one shots. So nice to only have to hold yourself to 500 to 1000 words at a time, for like a week or two, and then you're done! Move on tp the next exercise! Let your brain be free!

I also can only write in order. If I let myself go ahead and write down the later scenes, I find I don't do justice developing what happens in-between or just never get to it at all because I dread it so much. I need the motivation of knowing I will get to that later scene to keep driving me forward. And sometimes the im-between takes me somewhere a little unexpected, gives me another detail to loop back in later. So that's always nice.

32. Do you have a word/expression that you always use in your writing?

Maybe it's just the particular subjects I'm writing but I have to use a lot of synonyms for red, and sanguine is my favorite, followed by crimson. Glowing, mask, hollow, dread, those all come up a lot too.

33. Give your writing a compliment.

So right now I'm writing a character that speaks two languages, and it doesn't always make sense to have them translating everything back and forth in their head for the reader to understand it. So I've come up with some interesting ways around that, and I asked Marshall what he thought certain words/phrases meant based on the context and he got them right first try, so apparently it is working!

[theomnicode]

Chapter 169 cover page symbolism:

Saitama's shadow greatly resembles a Torii gate.

A torii (Japanese: 鳥居, [to.ɾi.i]) is a traditional Japanese gate most commonly found at the entrance of or within a Shinto shrine, where it symbolically marks the transition from the mundane to the sacred.

Which is good bit of foreshadowing for the divine power we'll be dabbling with from now on. Transition from the mundate to the sacred indeed.

But the one pole behind is a bit more worrying.

It honestly looks like a cross, like crucifixion.

Crucifixion is a method of capital punishment in which the victim is tied or nailed to a large wooden cross or beam and left to hang until eventual death from exhaustion and asphyxiation.[1][2][3][4] It was used as a punishment by the Romans,[1] among others. Crucifixion has been used in parts of the world as recently as the twentieth century.[5] The crucifixion of Jesus of Nazareth is central to Christianity,[1] and the cross (sometimes depicting Jesus nailed to it) is the main religious symbol for many Christian churches

Not as a direct reference to christianity, but as a symbol. For a victim being crucified.

Which would be apt, considering what is probably happening in this chapter and from hence forth onward. If Genos is going to continue with the manipulation I think he's doing, he's going to get crucified for it, hard. But he's still a victim to divine power influence, just like Garou. But people in universe and us readers won't know, so we'll damn him for his actions.

Same goes for Saitama, because Genos doing that to him and betraying his trust, is like a capital punishment. He does not trust or let people close easily, so the betrayal of trust would be the worst thing to ever happen to him. Or maybe, Saitama too will be crucified for his actions in the future that he has yet done, when he almost blew up the planet. Even if he has not done it, the knowledge can still be used against him. And the one who has knowledge is Genos who wasn't morally even bothered by anything that happened in future either. I smell blackmailing up in the air. If Genos tells anybody, Saitama can be crucified for the actions of the future too and will be seen as a threat.

Chapter title, daybreak symbolism

Dawn is the time that marks the beginning of twilight before sunrise. It is recognized by the appearance of indirect sunlight being scattered in Earth's atmosphere, when the centre of the Sun's disc has reached 18° below the observer's horizon.[1] This morning twilight period will last until sunrise (when the Sun's upper limb breaks the horizon), when direct sunlight outshines the diffused light.

We're not out of the twilight zone yet, we only just entered it. And it will last until the actual sunrise happens. The symbolic rise of Saitama's divine power that he embodies, the Sun.

(For most accurate symbolism I'd need to take a look at the kanji in the title but I'm not versed in japanese)

The symbol of a bloodied heart being ripped out from someone's chest and leaving a hole behind.

Already did this piece of symbolism here.

Pastel colours:

Pastel colours are usually shades of colours. Only some white is added to a tone. Adding white not only raises the value but also changes the psychology. They are generally considered delicate, feminine and clean. The word (pastel) in the field of colours is generally used when talking about paintings and usually implies a soft matte finish and pale colours (lighter, less saturated). Well, in any design, it is intended to convey meaning, and obviously, that impacts people’s thinking and psychology. The reason why marketing always plays with colours, because it wants to play with feelings and thoughts of its consumers. So choosing the right colour for each case is very important.

Colour always has a vibration, like music. Experiencing colour is an objective and subjective experience. Pastel colours evoke openness and relaxation. Well, these shades are considered soothing and sometimes even equate with sanity. Pastel colours represent neutrality, and they are peaceful and soft. The white colour used to achieve pastel represents clarity, innocence, cleanliness, spirituality, purity, hope, expansiveness and openness. It can also be sterile and detach.

A psychological way to evoke feelings of openess and relaxation and impact people's 's thinking. When you see pastel colours, you think about soft and openess and peaceful thoughts.

But just like Genos is in this chapter, it'll be sterile and detached from any softness when he evokes those feelings psychologically to play with Saitama's feelings.

And we too, are being played like fiddle when the cover art evokes same feeling of hopefulness with the sunrise in the horizon for new tomorrow and pastel colours, but we're only within a twilight zone where a heart will be ripped out from one individual in brutal fashion and crucifying the victim when lulled into false sense of hopefullness via psychological means.

[fweasleyswhore]

Kinkmas Day 3:

Marking, Possessiveness, and Cockwarming Remus Lupin - Mine

a/n: fun fun kinda feel like this sucks so im sorry in advance i just needed to get it over with, also i took one of my last tests for this semester and got a 96, fuckin hell yes bruh lets get it

summary: Remus shows reader who they belong to.

word count: 2k

warnings: in the title, a little rough, jealousy, smut, 18+ themes

“Now.” He growled in my ear grabbing my elbow and pulling me away from the lively conversation I was having with Sirius. I sent him an apologetic smile as I was hoisted away by my boyfriend. 

“Remus?” I tried but got no answer, he only walked harder. I struggled to keep up with him in my cocktail dress and heels but did my best to not fall flat on my face in the middle of the party. I wracked my brain for what could have made him act like that, silently counting the days in my mind I realized it was two days until the full moon and something I did set him off. I couldn’t be upset, he got unnaturally worked up on the days leading to his transformation and I didn’t mind sometimes it was fun. 

“Baby?” 

“Shut up.” He turned and pulled me into his chest, finally he stopped dragging me around the house. I looked around trying to see where we were but before I could place it I was spinning around. I held on tighter to Remus screwing my eyes shut until I heard the familiar cracking noise that would let me know we finished apparating. 

My feet hit the floor, followed by the familiar cracking noise and I opened my eyes and looked around our shared bedroom. 

“Did you think I wouldn’t notice.” He snarled. “You prancing around in front of all of them.” 

“Remus.” I laughed out. This wasn’t the first time we had this argument, and I knew it wouldn’t be the last. He always got possessive closer to his transformation, I found that playing into it got more reward later in the night. “You don’t know what you are talking about.” 

“Don’t lie.” He growled and pushed me onto the bed, making me yelp. “You know what you were doing.” 

“And you know I only have eyes for you.” I spoke up in retaliation. 

“Prove it.” His voice was low, and it lost the agitated growl it held moments before. 

I positioned myself on the bed, pulled my dress up which pooled around my waist as I sat on my knees. “Use me.” I knew it’s what he needed, to blow off steam and clear his head, and from the ache between my legs it was something I needed as well. 

He didn’t reply, only smashed his lips into mine with such force that if his hands hadn’t found me I would have fallen back. The kiss was hot and needy, our teeth clashed and it was really unsynchronized but I didn’t care. His hands found my hips, pulling me forward I wrapped my legs around his waist to pull his groin into mine. 

Moaning at the contact he slipped his tongue into my mouth, I fought back, deciding to give a fair fight. It was only when his hands whichI wasn’t paying much attention to found my clothed core, trailing up and down and pressing onto my clit did I back down. 

Pulling away he muttered soft praise. “Good girl, on your back.” I did as I was told, leaning hoisting my legs up for him. “Off.” He ordered, nodding to my dress. I watched him undress as I did as well. I pulled off my bra and panties leaving me bare and dripping. “So pretty, you're so wet is this all for me?” 

I nodded my head furiously. “Yes just for you.” He smiled, dipping his head down to kiss my bare thighs. I let my head relax, falling against the pillows. He trailed his lips up my thigh, I felt sparks as he neared the area I needed him most. 

“Liar.” He whispered against my heat. I picked my head up looking at him confused, eyebrows furrowed. I saw the disdain on his face as he stood. His member was aching and bright red. I wanted to reach for it but I knew better. 

“What?” He chuckled, obviously amused by my confusion. He trailed his hands up and down my thighs which quivered under his touch. 

“You expect me to believe this is all for me, when I saw what you were doing with them?” I rolled my eyes, getting prepared to fight something I thought I had already won. Pushing myself up I looked up at him, his chest was heaving and he pulled in heavy, ragged, breaths. 

I slowly slid my hand in between us, finally grasping his member I watched as he stopped breathing for a moment, shutting his eyes. When they opened again I began stroking him slowly. “Remus, where are we?” I asked softly. 

“Our bedroom.” He grunted and I rewarded him with the correct answer by speeding up my strokes slightly. 

“Exactly, our bedroom.” I reminded him. “Who am I with right now?” My other hand trailed up his chest, drawing absentminded shapes in its wake. 

“Me.” He whispered, his tone was much softer than before. 

“Precisely, not Sirius, not James, not Peter. I am with you. I love you.” I watched as his eyes fluttered close, his hand came up to cup my cheek, explaining himself with a small touch but I understood each word he was trying to convey. He felt insignificant, like a burden and with the added stress from changing he lashed out. A small interaction between me and Sirius was warped in his mind and when he accused me of putting on a show he was really trying to explain how afraid he was of losing me. It was something, though rather dramatic, made me feel loved because I was able to speak his broken language. A language that speaks through actions rather than words. My hand had sped up to a workable pace now, every so often thumbing his tip as I reached the top, eliciting a groan from him. 

He grabbed my wrist and I faltered my movements. “L-Let me,” He regained his breath as well as his confidence from earlier before he spoke again. “Let me show them.” 

“By all means.” I whispered back and pulled his head down to meet mine in a kiss. It was slow at first but as he fell back into his dominant role, this time fueled by passion instead of anger it quickened. He pushed me back on the bed, spreading my legs with his hands which soon found my folds, he spread them, lavishing his fingers in my wetness before pushing two fingers inside of me. My clit throbbed as he began with a quick pace, not faltering for a moment. 

“Does this feel good baby?” His husky voice asked as he drove his fingers in with more intent than before. 

“Y-Yes, it does, fuck.” I answered feeling my release quickly approaching. He didn't stop but added his other hand to my clit and started rubbing tight circles with his fingers. “I’m gonna, fuck Remus-” but he pulled away right as my release almost washed over me. A long whine escaped me as he pulled back. 

“Not yet pretty girl.” He whispered back. Before I could reply he sheathed himself fully inside me, successfully taking my breath away. I involuntarily fluttered my walls around his length, trying to adjust to a size, that though familiar, still stretched me deliciously. He pulled me against him, so I was pressed against him at the end of the bed. “So pretty baby.” He praised as his head dipped to leave small kisses on my chest. I moaned at the contact rutting my hips against him which caused him to bite lightly on my breast. 

“Be good and still and I’ll fuck you into this mattress.” My mouth went dry at his words, his mouth immediately went back to nipping and sucking at my breasts. I tried to catch my breath which was a difficult feat to do because his every move made my skin heat up. His lips worked their way up to mine, placing a fiery and slow kiss against mine he moved his hips in a circular motion. His pelvis hit my clit causing me to buck against his touch. 

“I thought I asked you to be still?” He taunted, pulling back slightly. He landed a sharp slap to my right breast causing me to arch and tighten against him. 

“Yes, I will, please, I need you.” I begged trying not to push against him again. Running his hands up and down my torso, he dragged his nails against my nipples, making my skin grow even hotter. I moaned into his touch unable to formulate words to tell him how good he was making me feel. His head dipped down again, I felt his hair fall against my chin as he placed small nips and bites against my collarbone, lapping them with his tongue then blowing on them lightly. 

“I suppose you have waited long enough,” He mused, shifting slightly so pushed farther into me. I felt him move and whined at the contact. “Do you know who you belong to now?” He grasped each of my breasts as he asked, massaging them lightly and pulling on them at the end of his question. 

“I always have.” I answered breathlessly. My answer was deemed satisfactory by the wolfish grin that adorned his face. He pulled out to his tip, then slowly pushed back in completely. The feeling was wonderful, but not enough. “M-More.” I needed him to let me cum, I needed to finish and extinguish the burning pit in my stomach. 

“As you wish.” Suddenly he gripped the underside of both of my thighs, pushing them to the side and down against the bed I felt myself spread more than I ever have before. Before I could be worried or self conscious he was pulling out and pushing back in at a brutal pace. Each thrust he bottomed out, filling me up and hitting the spot inside of me, his pelvis was bumping my clit making me whine in time with his thrusts. “Do you like that baby?"

“Yes, I love it.” I whispered back. My eyes screwed shut as he growled in response, going faster if that was possible. My orgasm was fast approaching and I couldn’t continue to fight it off. “I need to-” I didn’t finish my sentence before I came hard, clenching around his cock, arching my back. He didn’t falter, continuing to thrust into me, riding out my orgasm, my hips twitched against his, meeting his thrusts. Soon I felt his grip around my thighs tighten and he stopped completely, filling me up, shooting ropes of cum and painting my insides. He thrust a few times, shallowly pushing his cum deeper inside of me. 

Releasing my legs they shakily fell to a more natural position as he sat up and pulled out. He gave me a lazy grin before walking over to our dresser, handing me a pair of his boxers and his shirt he walked back to get clothes for himself. Standing I pulled the boxers on without another thought. Picking up my head to place my shirt on I saw my reflection in the mirror across the room, my chest, a work of art containing reds and deep purple splotches framed by my breasts. The markings were partnered with a few red lines that circled my nipples drawn by his nails. 

“Sure is pretty,” Remus said, walking behind me, he wrapped his arms around my middle and placed a sweet kiss on my neck. “Seeing you all marked up.” 

“All yours.”