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formeandmyfics · 4 years ago

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Jugenea Fan Fiction

NEVER FORGET

For being on two different chapters in the book of life, they’re on the same page

(photo credit @ohmygarlands)

1943

Judy watched him.

In the bright sunshine, across from her trailer, Judy sat in the passenger seat of her personal studio golf-cart, waiting for Mickey. As she did so, she became mesmerized at the scene in front of her: Gene roughhousing with a bunch of studio kids. They all laughed and ran around him, even jumping on his back. It made Judy smile.

As she watched him, images of last night took over her mind, as she disappeared into a daydream. Back from filming Girl, Crazy in Palm Springs, it was their first time back together. They ended up spending the night in his trailer, as hers would be too suspicious. She was watched like a hawk. They planned on dinner at her house and catching up but didn't quite make it that far. Judy giggled to herself. Her amusement soon spread into butterflies as her body now remembered last night as well. Ecstasy was the only word that came to mind. Encounters with Gene were always amazing and fully satisfying, fun and sexy, but last night Gene acted somewhat different. Intense.

There he was, in front of her, playing with a bunch of children, like a big kid himself, when last night he kept making her come over and over. He did something beyond explanation to her body. There were times he'd go from devouring her like candy, to scanning his eyes around every part of her like she were a Monet painting, to fucking her so ardently her voice skipped, then tracing her skin with his finger like it was a delicate rose. Judy's cheeks warmed. She tried to focus but again, her mind wandered to early this morning as well.

She sat up in the small day bed at the back of his trailer, her hair tousled, hugging her knees to her bare chest. He hadn't noticed her awake yet as he stood by the small window looking out as he sipped his coffee just in his shorts. The amber glow of the morning sun hit his muscles like shadows, so much definition she could feel still feel them on her finger tips. His arms especially, looking so strong. He handled her so well. God, he looked so damn sexy, and he didn't even know it. She had bit her bottom lip, smiling bashfully. When he turned his head to her, she lowered her face behind her knees, her penetrating eyes only visible, telling him of her thoughts. When he smiled mischievously, that was it. He never did finish that cup of coffee.

"Judy!"

Judy flinched a bit as she was brought back to reality, but smiled wide at a friend walking on by. She waved back and then caught eyes with Gene. He was looking at her indifferently, the kids still playing around him. She kneaded her eyebrows a moment, haven't seen him look at her like that before, when a little boy jumped on the back of his back again interrupting their moment. Gene laughed and ran, the boy going piggy back. Judy didn't know why, but thoughts of Gene's family entered Judy's mind. When she was away, she had kept up with the entertainment section of Hollywood. Gene and Betsy had gone to a lot of parties and premieres together, and looked very happy. There was even a picture of Betsy looking at Gene adoringly as he held his daughter in his arms outside their house. Their marriage had been rocky there for a while, like hers had been with Dave, but it seemed anything but right now. Judy knew one thing: she was in-love with a man who was not willing to leave his family, and here she was, separated, living alone and ready to have fun. They were just not on the same page anymore. She didn't want to distance herself form him, but it was the healthiest thing to do. But, then here he was, her best friend, best lover, making her feel things no one else could again. It was frustrating.

"Why the long face," Mickey asked as he got into the driver's side.

"Just some things on my mind. Let's go."

"Hold on. Gene!"

Judy watched as Gene put his finger up to Mickey signaling a minute.

"What are you doing?"

"I invited Gene to tag along and watch us do the 'Can You Use Me' retakes."

"Why," Judy asked a little anxious now.

"Because he said his recording got re-scheduled. And he was already here. What's the problem?"

"No problem," Judy forced a cheery voice as Gene came strutting over.

"Hop on, buddy," Mickey said and Gene hopped onto the seat behind them, "Here we go."

"Don't you two look cute," Gene teased at their costumes.

"Brooks Brothers," Mickey teased back as they rolled through the lot.

"And yours," Gene asked Judy.

"Chanel," she said monotoned but obviously being sarcastic.

"She wears a lot of pants in this film. I think it's a disgrace."

"Why, because we filmed in 112 degrees," she commented.

"No, 'cause you got a hellava pair of stems on ya, honey. I think you should show 'em, right Gene?"

"You know me, Mick, I'm a leg man, myself. And Judy's got the best pair I've ever seen."

"Can we please stop talking about my legs?"

"Why? What's got into you," Mickey asked a little concerned. He knew she loved her own legs, her greatest asset other than her voice, and found it confusing that she actually sounded annoyed.

"I'm just tired," she said softly, dusting invisible lint off her costume pants.

"I wonder why," Gene said in more of a statement than a question. Mickey didn't detect any difference in Gene's voice but Judy did, and she looked at him slyly over her shoulder.

The disdain of her look at him made Gene's smile quickly go away and he was the one furrowing his brow now.

"So, uh, how was filming in Palm Springs," he asked changing the subject.

"Hot as hell."

"You're the one that wanted to have a filming 'vacation', darling."

"Well, I didn't know it would be the devil's layer. We had sandstorms too."

"Did you really?"

"Yeah, we had to shut production down for a few days. Judy took advantage of that, didn't ya, Judes," he said elbowing her flirtatiously.

"Be quiet, Mickey," Judy warned.

"What, you're single now. This one ran off with her new boyfriend."

Judy quickly looked at Gene, who looked unfazed, and then placed her hand up to her head embarrassed.

"She missed the first day back. You know who was PISSED, but she said it was worth it, if ya know what I mean," he laughed, "Can't blame her. She needs to have some fun again, right Gene?"

"Right," he simply stated.

"I can't speak any differently. When Ava and I started going together, I missed some days, too. Shit happens."

Judy was silent the rest of the ride.

"And CUT! That was amazing, guys. Print that. Judy, honey, Mick, take a break while we set up the camera for a different angle," replacement Director, Norman Tourag, shouted from a distance.

Judy plopped into her director chair and her assistant handed her a glass of water with a straw.

"That's a fun scene," Gene commented as he pulled up his seat next to her.

"You're still here," she giggled before taking a sip of water.

"Nothing better to do. Besides, I like watching you work. It's much easier to do when I don't have to be in the scene."

"What do you think?"

"I think it's fun. You sure look like you're having fun."

"I really am."

They were both silent a long moment when Judy started feeling antsy. There was tension energy between them and she didn't like it.

"Gene, what Mickey said earlier about..."

"Joe," he interjected. She looked over at him wide-eyed and he went on, "I know."

"How do you know?"

"Word travels fast around here...even from Palm Springs." Suddenly, Judy's face looked like she had many questions, but before she could speak, he took her hand, "Let's talk. But not here."

He looked completely calm and unfazed which baffled her, but also made her relax, "Okay. Um, I'm going to Ciro's with a few friends tonight to see Lena sing."

"What time are you going?"

"10."

"I'm doing pool with some fella's tonight. I'll just meet you at your place after. What time do you think you'll be back?"

"I'll come home around 1:30 or so."

"Sounds good," he said and patted her leg before getting up, "Tell Mick I said bye and thanks for the invite. You look beautiful by the way."

As Judy watched him walk away, she smiled. With just a simple comment like that from him, her confidence boosted ten-fold which she knew would radiate on screen. It always did.

Gene was absolutely content. He was laying in Judy's hammock in her backyard. It softly swayed with the summer evening wind, her rose bushes filled his nostrils as crickets chirped and the water from her small fountain pond added to the ambience. It all reminded him of her. He wanted to stay there forever but knew that couldn't be done.

"There you are," he suddenly heard her voice above him.

"Here I am," he spoke before opening his eyes.

"How long have you been here?"

"Oh, about twenty minutes. Pool ended early. You know how much I love it out here. Thought I'd catch some sleep before you returned."

"Sorry to cut your nap short," she replied as she carefully got onto the hammock with him. He adjusted to accommodate her and she immediately snuggled into his side.

Gene checked his watch, "It's only midnight. Why are you back so early? Weren't having fun?"

"I was...until the Trifecta walked in."

"No," he said shocked.

Everyone involved in the studio system in Hollywood knew the 'Trifecta' referred to the three Presidents of the three most popular studios: Louis B. Mayer, of MGM, Darryl Zanuck of Twentieth Century-Fox and of J. Cowdin of Universal.

"Yeah."

"Since when the hell does Mayer go out to nightclubs?"

Judy nodded, "That's what I was thinking, too."

"And since when the hell do all three of those men get together? They're like sworn enemies."

"Gene, you should have seen everybody. It was hysterical. They practically emptied the joint. Everyone left."

"They probably planned that so all their players would go home to sleep so they're not late to film the next day."

"It was very strange to see them walk in together, all chummy."

"Well, maybe they're planning on taking over the world."

Together, they swayed gently, enjoying each other's warmth and comfort. Gene suddenly regretted that he invited himself over so they could talk, as he was enjoying the silence, but then she spoke.

"Are you angry about me spending time with Joe?"

Oh, she wanted to talk, too.

"Did I give you that reaction?"

"That's not an answer."

Gene opened his eyes to find her head lifted, looking at him nervously.

"No, I'm not angry. I don't have the authority to be."

"What do you mean?"

"We're not exclusive. I'm a married man. You're single. So, you had another summer rendezvous. It is what it is."

"Are you jealous?"

Gene couldn't help but chuckle. He knew she wanted him to be, but she also knew he was, "Of course. I'm very protective of you honey."

"Is that why you were the way you were last night, because you heard about me spending time with another man?"

"No, but the way I was how?"

"Just...intense and almost desperate," judging by his confound expression she went on, "I enjoyed it so much, I don't have to tell you that, but it felt different. It was almost like it was the last time."

Gene just stared at her a moment before licking his bottom lip anxiously as he sat them up.

"That's because it kind of was," he didn't dare look at her, "I mean, in the months we've been apart, Bets and I have been getting along better. It's almost like how we were in New York. And we're enjoying each other with our daughter. I've seen you go and enjoy yourself with another man, as you should. It's your God-given right as a soon-to-be divorced woman. I just thought, you know maybe it was a good time for us to distance ourselves from each other ...um, physically right now."

Judy knew this was a serious conversation, but how nervous he was made her nerves instantly disappear. She actually giggled. Her giggle alerted him though, and he finally looked up at her with wide eyes as if she were about to start a fight.

"You know, darling," she giggled again, "For two people who are in different chapters of life, we're on the same page. Throughout the summer, I saw pictures of you and Betsy out and about in magazines, and with your beautiful baby, and even though we hadn't talked, I knew things were better for you. And I felt happy for you. I actually couldn't believe it. I thought, my marriage ended and now yours is getting better. I should have been jealous. But then Joe came around again, and I've been having a lot of fun with him. It was then that I thought maybe since we are in different circumstances now, that maybe we should focus on our own futures apart...for now at least. I don't really want you to go away."

"I'm not going anywhere. As a friend, and companion, you're it for me baby. And as a lover...well it's never off the table. There's something between us, some type of connection, I can't quite explain, but I know it's a lifetime worth."

Judy smiled and leaned over kissing him, "I love you."

"I love you, too," he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, "Last night, I gotta confess, I also wanted to make you never forget how I made you feel."

Judy's eyes reflected off the moonlight as she looked at him impishly as she stood up. She held her hand out for him and he took it, standing up.

"Where are we going?"

"You got your last time last night, now it's my turn."

He stopped yanking her hand abut. She turned and wrapped her arms around his waist, her chin raised as she smiled up at him. His crows feet deepened as he smiled wickedly, "What are you going to do?"

"Make you never forget how I made you feel."

She raised up on her tippy toes and have him a peck on the lips before walking towards her patio door. Gene stood there a sec, completely transfixed, and aroused, by the sultry voice and implication she used.

Turning around, noticing he wasn't following, she looked at him with raised eyebrow, "Come on, let's go."

When she disappeared through the door, Gene felt his erection harden, and he let out a naughty chuckle before following her inside.

#judy garland #judygarland #gene kelly #jugenea #jgfans #fan fiction

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amphtaminedreams · 4 years ago

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Spring/Summer & Haute Couture Week 2021: Whoops, I’ve Missed a Loooot (Part 2)

Hey to anyone reading,

I’m so sorry for the gap between the last fashion week review post and this one! Argh. I had no idea I posted it as long ago as the beginning of March but I think we can all agree that lockdown has fucked with our perceptions of time completely. I wish I could say the delay in posting was as simple as me being busy but I’ve also started to reflect on whether or not I want to carry on this format of posts for the time being; on the scale of problems, this one is wayyy down there in the very lower quartile of the first world region, but my motivation to carry on this kind of content in the form of long-winded text posts is...meh...not so much there anymore. At first I was thinking the issue was that working on these was my last priority on my daily to-do lists but as I’ve got back into writing fiction, it’s kind of occurred to me that the fact I was putting these posts on my to-do lists in the first place along with things like doing the ironing and contacting student finance speaks volumes. When I’m back from work or winding down, opening up Tumblr and coming back to this draft isn’t something that I think of as a fun stress reliever in the way drafting stories is. It doesn’t feel like I’m using my imagination or my creativity or expressing myself in any way and it’s not much of an escape from day to day life in the way that writing dialogue or exploring characters is. Maybe it’s because I’ve done quite a few of these posts now but I just tend to feel like I’m repeating myself, you know kinda like when you’re writing an essay and trying to fill up a word count; of course there are collections that I do have a lot of opinions on but by and large, sometimes it boils down to THESE CLOTHES ARE JUST FUCKING PRETTY, OKAY?! There’s only so many things you can say about a tulle skirt or an exaggerated collar before you want to strangle yourself with said tulle. I used to think iF VoGUe RuNwaY wRitErs CaN dO iT WhAT's MY exCusE until I realised that 1). Vogue Runway writers actually get paid and 2). for the most part all they do is explain the designer's intentions behind the collections verbatim without giving a critical opinion anyway.

I think a lot of the pressure I feel to justify what are in reality quite simple observations and opinions goes back to some of the feelings I explained in my first ever fashion week review where people who know more about fashion and have a formal education in the subject tend to be kind of gatekeep-y and elitist. It can never be that you appreciate different things about a collection but rather than one of you has taste and the other doesn’t and if it wasn’t obvious, the taste level assigned to you by the powers that be tend to positively correlate with the amount of money you have available to spend on a degree that has a reputation for failing to provide a steady income, which for most makes it an unrealistic avenue to pursue. I know, I know, the pressure is totally self-inflicted and wholly imagined seeing as I have under 500 followers on here and those who do interact with these posts most likely do so for the pictures but I still feel it, and given that I’m going to have enough external pressure to write essays when I return to uni in September, why on earth am I wasting time putting it on myself? When just posting photosets of my favourite looks is not only actually enjoyable for me but is also what other people WANT to see too? Nobody wants to read a self-indulgent paragraph like this when they’re here for the clothes and to be honest, for the most part I don’t want to write them anyway unless it’s something I have strong feelings about or if a collection can only be properly appreciated with analysis. I think I’ve made pretty clear which designers I’m a fan of, do you really need to hear me raving about Gucci or Zimmerman or Miu Miu or Balenciaga again? Is there gonna be anything revolutionary in yet another rant about Maria Grazia? Course not. I mean, if you are reading, you might have to witness those things one last time because I do intend to finish off this season’s review in this format for consistency purposes and because I’ve already got all the notes now but on the whole, I doubt anyone will miss my rambles.

So, with all that in mind, I think after I finish my S/S21 posts I am gonna start just uploading these posts without the written part. I mean, for one, the simplicity of doing this means I’m much less likely to procrastinate making them which in turn means I’ll be able to get them out right after the shows as a kind of summary as opposed to months later when they’re no longer as relevant. This will also give me more time to work on the writing I actually enjoy. Right now I’m going through and editing my 17 year old self’s “grown-up” take on the Pretty Little Liars blackmail murder mystery style plot line which I wrote back when I was completely and utterly obsessed with the show and bitterly disappointed by the last couple of seasons. The writing is pretty mediocre and often hugely cringey to read back now but I am still a fan of the basic plot and I’m genuinely motivated to see if I can make it something actually worth reading, and to get onto that ASAP; this feels especially important right now given that the HBO version of the series’ apparent upcoming release has sent that ever-present writer’s fear of seeing-your-same-storyline-done-better-by-somebody-else-thus-forever-relegating-your-version-to-being-the-poor-imitation-so-you-gotta-get-there-first into overdrive (or maybe that’s just me and my neuroses). Again, it’s a totally unfounded fear based on the fact that the HBO show will probs get millions of viewers whilst I will be doing little more than shouting into the void but anybody who’s used Turnitin to submit an essay that ultimately counts for little more than like 1% of your grade or degree will know that no matter how irrelevant your work is, the concept of failing a plagiarism check, be it via a computer algorithm or one random stranger on the internet’s assessment, is enough to conjure visions of the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse galloping towards you screaming “START THE WHOLE THING AGAIN” before releasing a hoarde of 2015 Chanel vs. Walmart style comparison memes.

Now, speaking of Chanel, I should probably get back into the reviewing.

So for the last time for a little while, here’s Christian Siriano:

Siriano’s designs are a great example of work I feel guilty enjoying. I know that when it comes to quality, the high fashion community have a lot of (negative) things to say and I really can’t speak to that because quite honestly, I know very little about textile manufacturing. Solely from my own point of view though, I do like his work a lot. I wouldn’t claim for a minute that he’s a pioneer in terms of his creations but I would 100% love to wear them and I DO hugely admire his commitment to putting women of all sizes on the runway and designing pieces that don’t simply cater to straight up and down types which is more than can be said for most brands. I get that his collections are pretty formulaic, taking what has worked for the likes of Chanel and Alessandra Rich, De La Renta and Carolina Herrera, Michael Kors too (who is kind of guilty of the same thing himself), but that’s not to say his work is bad. Let’s be real, we’ve been on this planet thousands of years, we’re all taking inspiration from someone, and maybe figures like Kors and Siriano could wait a *little* longer before taking said inspiration but their aim at the end of the day is to sell clothes, not break barriers, a task which although often left to the big name brands, they too often fail at. I’m not going to lie, I’m feeling this whimsical mid-century tea party vibe, it’s elegant and it’s cutesy and My Fair Lady-esque, and you bet your arse I would be absolutely thrilled to wear one of these looks on a summer red carpet. I just can’t say no to anything tulle-maybe it’s that I was on Toddlers & Tiaras in a past life or maybe it’s that I watched too many Barbie Princess films growing up, but I like pretty much everything going on here, especially Siriano is giving us matching fedoras too. Plus, can we take a moment to praise Siriano for his COVID relief efforts? Near the beginning of the pandemic, he turned his studio into a mask manufacturing factory in order to send them out as donations, and I think that is very cool.

Then there’s Christopher Kane who once again came through with the most insanely gorgeous prints:

I mean, paint splattering is hardly a new technique but I haven’t seen it done as a print so tastefully before-it eats the Moschino biro scribble print (which apparently was copied too speaking of the tendencies of designers to “borrow” inspiration) for breakfast. It’s shit because there weren’t many looks in this collection and they weren’t really shot in a way that does them any justice but I thought I’d include the few I saved.

Comme Des Garcons is a fave of the high fashion community and one I look forward to seeing at fashion week but can never quite get behind. I appreciate the what-the-fuckery of it all with this show totally being able to pass as a run-through of some kind of nuclear waste themed scare house at one of Thorpe Park’s fright nights. I assume given that and the plastic Mickey Mouse print it’s supposed to be some kind of reference to the part late-stage capitalism has played in the hellish landscape we find ourselves in today? Or something all intellectual? In which case I made my interpretation with farrrr too much confidence. But Anyway! Who knows! I’ll leave the analysis to the fashion students, and give it one word: trippy.

Onto Dion Lee, a brand I truly do get excited to talk about because it’s rare that I don’t LOVE his work.

Without fail, Lee manages to be confidently ahead of the curve without going out of his way to announce it and his genius to everyone with flamboyant shows and exaggerated designs and extortionate prices. He is very much an underdog in the fashion world in terms of big names but you’ll be hard pressed to find anyone who doesn’t love his collections. His S/S21 collection is one of my favourites of the bunch. I love seeing something I’ve never seen before and the palm leaf breast plate is so odd but so cool and so perfectly Dion Lee at the same time; we’ve seen jungle/tropical inspired collections sooo many times *cough cough D&G cough cough* and THIS is how you make them fresh and unique. I mean, never in a million years did I think I’d get behind the resurgence of the gladiator sandal trend but Lee has me changing my mind. This is one of the very rare times you will ever see me using this meme to praise a man but:

I mean, he has Fernanda Ly modelling for him, that the man has taste goes without saying.

Now for a bit of a full circle moment, given that I did actually praise Dior’s haute couture collection in my first ever post; Maria Grazia did GOOD. Well, with haute couture at least.

She’s always pretty hamfisted with her references, there’s no denying, with that Grecian Goddess style RTW collection typifying that statement completely, but luckily she struck gold this time round; as someone who studied the Tudors for A-level history, seeing a modern take on the exaggeratedly feminine renaissance silhouettes with the baroque prints and the deep jewell tones got me super excited especially when you throw in the dreamy tarot theming and the nods to the mystical and arcane. Seeing as the Heavenly Bodies Met Gala (I know, I know, I need to move on) was some time ago now and Cersei Lannister’s *SPOILER* been crushed by a rock (could also be seen as a metaphor for the irrelevancy David Benioff and D.B Wise condemned GoT to when they aired that shitty ending tehe) and so probably won’t be getting a collection based on her costumes any time soon, this is the only fashion take on this kind of period dress I’m going to get…and you know what? I’m okay with that. Thanks Maria, I guess?

Her RTW collection wasn’t absolutely awful either, and slightly better than the past few collections at least. Put a monkey in a room with a typewriter (or show it enough similar well-received collections) and it will eventually write something that makes sense, don’t they say? I like the nomadic feel of a lot of the looks and there’s beautiful layering going on but the aura of exotic opulence unsurprisingly didn’t stick around for long and I found that there was a decline in quality in the midsection of the show that landed a lot of the outfits in either awkward mother of the bride at a beach wedding or The Only Way is Essex Ocean Beach PLT sponsored poolside party territory. The looks picked back up a bit towards the end stretch of the show but I wasn’t a fan of the Gucci style oversized glasses which were so out of place with the rest of the theming that if anything they seemed like a cheap grab at relevancy. So yeah, a middling, subpar Etro-esque collection which is better than usual for Dior I suppose.

Next, Elie Saab, whose S/S21 collection was kinda disappointing, tbh. Oh how the turns have tabled given that positive Dior review and my usual love of Saab’s collections.

I know his dresses lose some of their appeal when we can’t see them in motion but even ON the runway I can’t see myself being dazzled by any of these pieces the way I usually am. They’re lacking the level of detail and craftsmanship I associate with the brand seemingly in favour of block colours and suits and the issue is that the whole Disney Princess fantasy has always been the appeal for me because the silhouettes aren’t interesting enough on their own. They’re not ugly pieces, they’re nice, but does nice really have a place in high fashion when the pieces are so basic in both their design and presentation that the shots could pass as ripped from a catalogue? The strongest parts of the collection were when it did go down the more delicate route with the muted blue suits and the white feather trimmed dresses, the small, ornamental gold details reminding me of a very toned down nod to Schiaparelli’s hardware, but with regards to the bright coloured pieces, I can’t lie-they did look like something you could find in the M&S Per Una holiday section. Then you’ve got the weakest parts, which were just flat out ugly: sheer giraffe print, sweat band style elasticated waits, and long chiffon shirts that I hate to admit read as frumpy. There are times where I’ve not been particularly excited by an Elie Saab collection in the past, but I do think this is the first time I’ve actively disliked parts of it.

Conversely, Erdem’s S/S21 collection was super strong, and solidified the brand’s place in my mind as a dependable source of kooky maximalism, this time round giving us Anya Taylor Joy’s Emma wardrobe on speed. You could tell me Erdem Moralıoğlu had just raided the Bridgerton set’s fitting rooms and put it on a runway and I would 100% believe you and I mean that in a positive way because to give my unpopular opinion, the clothes were the only good thing about that show. The endearingly florid details of exaggerated bows and clashing florals were still there but this time in a way that felt more subtle and self-assured, as if the calming influence of the wooded set’d had a direct hand in the designs, giving the rugged, ethereal feel to the collection I associate with brands like Brock and Simone Rocha, all whilst keeping the parts of Erdem I’m so fond of.

Is it really much of a shock that I included pretty much every look from the Etro S/S21 show? Like, you know that Christian idea of God, like, (the voice in my head is very much taking on the dumb valley girl voice that anybody who reads this is most probably getting too) knowing our souls? I think Veronica Etro knows mine. So no, no surprise. Though there were a few unconventional touches thrown into these looks (the campier prints and nautical theming we see with the 80s beach towel print, for example, reminded me a bit of Versace) the mystical bohemian it girl that Etro designs for would still be highly satisfied. Sure, it might be a wardrobe fit for a holiday less adventurous than backpacking but if she wanted a tropical poolside holiday, this collection is the one, the paisley print chiffon mini and maxi dresses especially. I’m just gonna pretend I don’t see the monstrosity that is leggings worn as trousers-it’s a fashion rule I refuse to abandon-because they are the only stain on an otherwise expectedly gorgeous collection.

Next, an unusually reserved RTW collection from Fendi:

More in line with the wardrobe of a European fashion editor than the glamorous trophy wife (who let’s say uses that facade as a guise to ruthlessly run her husband’s whole business empire from behind the scenes because in this house we do complex female characters only), these pieces are lot “smarter” and more professional looking than Fendi’s typical offerings; where I feel Fendi usually designs for the society girl who wouldn’t mind a front page scandal, these are the kind of outfits a young member of Monaco’s royal family would wear for a positively received but business-as-usual press tour. I know, Fendi is an Italian brand, but this is more Southern France to me. We’re talking some 2nd page shots of a Kate Middleton type on a yacht on the Riviera smiling and waving as her PR team’s ideal scenario. Still, whilst fewer exaggerated silhouettes, animal prints and overtly luxurious fabrics (real leathers, silks and furs for example) mean that the drama’s a little toned down, it’s all still very expensive looking and combines the classically feminine glamour of the past and the minimalism of modernity in the artful manner that we’re used to. Maybe it’s me being a basic bitch but I always love seeing Ashley Graham on the runway too, even if brands to tend to use her as their single token plus size model.

Kim Jones’ debut haute couture collection for Fendi, however, wasn’t a very well received one. I don’t hate it personally but I can see where the criticisms are coming from. Whilst it’s closer to the version of Fendi I’ve come to expect and there were some stunning pieces which completely encapsulated that distinctive aura of luxe and glamour, there were quite a few lazy pieces which could’ve been from any designer. I also felt the collection was a bit upstaged by what seemed to be a who’s who of the modelling world; having Bella, Cara, Kate and Naomi ALL walk in one show was a bit distracting and took the focus off the clothes completely.

Giambattista Valli’s RTW collection was gorgeous as ever; the man has undeniably mastered the art of delivering classic, objective elegance, the kind of designs I feel would make you light on your feet and smell like strawberries and cream the minute you put one on. Whilst as a brand his RTW shows are rarely trendsetting, they reliably produce a plethora of unfailingly graceful and demure pieces, as appealing to your mum and your grandma as they are to young women and little girls, and this collection is another victory lap for Valli when it comes to upholding his signature tea party and artisan cupcake making and rose garden strolling and bottomless rosé brunch appropriate aesthetic. There were a lot of outfits that were bordering on overly juvenile, with structures a little too basic to justify the amount of sequins thrown on, but when it’s good, it’s so sweet that regardless of how to formula it is, I can’t help but fall in love.

Valli’s haute couture collection was stunning too and for sure a more exciting offering than the RTW. There was of course a lot of the signature tulle but it was head-turning, over the top in a way that leant far more towards the experimental than I expected. The photos themselves are 100% believable as a some kind of Vogue behind the scenes editorial shoot on the set of live action Disney princess movie (in between takes of the climactic ball scene if you wanna get specific with the vision); if you are looking for a prettier alternative to the primary colours and disruptive shapes of a Molly Goddard collection, this is the one. It’s giving the themes of excess and abundance I associate with that of the Hunger Games Capitol but through the softer lens of a Sofia Coppola movie, and being the typical cinema loving white girl I am, I’m obviously on board with that vibe.

I did SUCH a 180 on Givency’s S/S21 collection from when I first saw it to writing a review. My initial reaction was one of disappointment, I guess simply because Givenchy has given us so many bold pieces and presentations over the last few years whereas this is more low-key. After properly considering it though as I would any other brand, I came to the conclusion that I do actually really like it. It’s still got the strange, androgynous silhouettes popping up throughout and the futuristic space-age details but with a more down-to-earth, streetwear feel, albeit a very slick, glossy spin on the trends of the rabble (that’s us guys) of course before we go believing it’s achievable. On the one hand, the devil horn accents are a touch Claire’s accessories halloween range but at the same time, done with confidence they’re kind of cool and bring something new and fun to the table in line with the dark theatre of Givenchy’s last few shows.

Now for Gucci, which for the first time I have to say, if I'm attempting objectivity, is not a standout.

Like, can I just start by saying though the format it’s presented in is cute, it’s not ideal as a way of actually showing the collection. I get that the vintage shop bin vibe is a huge part of Gucci’s brand but polaroids make it SO hard to actually see the clothes, and that’s what we’re here for right? I don’t want to give the impression that I don’t like what I see here-the clothes are gorgeous, an idyllic ode to the off-duty wardrobes of Studio 54-ers, bohemian style icons like Charlotte Rampling and young Olivia Newton-John, psychedelic rock guitarists and the inhabitants of San Fransisco’s Haight during the late 60s and early 70s, Alessandro Michele’s favourite period of reference. I can’t pretend otherwise, or act like I wouldn’t want to wear the shit out of this collection. Buut, for Gucci? It’s a little underwhelming. These are the kind of filler looks we get in a typical Gucci show to go alongside the more statement pieces, which this collection is lacking. It’s just that these are designs which usually gets people talking and these pieces don’t do that. It sucks because for most other brands this would be a stand out collection, an immersive, luscious vignette of what people tend to think of as a cultural golden era, but when you’ve had a show that involved models carrying replicas of their own decapitated heads down the runway in the last 5 years, of course something more toned down like this is gonna generate a lot of “is that it?”s.

I owe Hermes an apology. Looking back, I have disliked all their previous collections for the same reason that I now really like this one; maybe it’s in part down to the frustration of still having to whack out the winter coat on occasion in May (fuck British weather and climate change), but suddenly I really appreciate the value of some good quality, versatile outerwear. Hermes is giving us that in spades here and for that, I bow down to them. The pieces on offer are clearly well-made and genuinely practical, and through the minimalist approach manage to retain both an air of timeless sophistication whilst also being youthful and on trend. The leather tactical vest co-ord I can easily see edged up and taking centre stage on one of those insane Seoul street style slow-mo TikToks that were big a couple of months ago and there are several pieces that could tie together a grunge influenced k-style look just as well as they could exist for years on end as the wardrobe staple of a high-powered businesswoman. Designer Nadège Vanhee-Cybulski’s strengths really come through with the simpler looks and it’s the patterned pieces that drag down an otherwise flawless collection; I guess because the aesthetic is very minimalist, the patterns can’t be anything overly decorative but unfortunately this has a bit of a dowdy effect when you pair it with such modest silhouettes. Disregarding those elements of the collection though, it was super good.

It goes without saying that Iris Van Herpen’s haute couture collection was breathtaking; if the fashion community can agree on anything, it’s that this woman’s work is consistently awe-inspiring. She captures the wonder of the universe, the biological structures and kaleidoscopic colours we don’t even register, through fashion in a way that others can only imitate, to mesmerising, truly transcendent effect; I can only assume Van Herpen has mother nature whispering into her ear because how the hell else do you explain her ability to take the kind of microscopic organisms they show you images of in an outdated GCSE science powerpoint and make a dress that resembles one so stunning? Care to explain, Iris? Because if there is some kind of line of communication between the two of you can you please tell the bitch I’m over this weather and that I have cute summer outfits I’m waiting to wear so can she pack this torrential rain shit in? K, thanks xoxo

See it seems shady as fuck to go from IVH to Isabel Marant like this because we are talking 2 designers with totallyyyy different approaches to fashion; Iris Van Herpen is haute couture for starters whereas Marant is commercial, and that’s her thing, but unfair comparisons aside this collection is still a bit of a let down. This is considering I do usually really like Isabel Marant collections based on whether or not I’d wear the pieces, which seems a more appropriate barometer to use to come to a quality verdict. Whilst there were a few of the elegant bohemian pieces my mind goes to when it comes to her brand, the steps outside of that comfort zone didn’t pay off; graffiti print (can be cool if done with some subtlety which apart from a few exceptions was not the case here), cheap looking reflective fabric, and MC Hammer style dungarees, it seems to be an attempt to merge 80s trends with modern urban culture, and an attempt that at times verged on the disastrous. It’s good for a brand to experiment, of course, and appeal to a wider client base than usual, but when it’s bad the unfortunate take away is that the design team don’t have the chops to pull off straying from familiar territory; designers wouldn’t be showing at fashion week if this was truly the case because disregarding the influence of nepotism, fashion is an area you need real talent, perseverance and business smarts to excel in, and so it doesn’t do a team justice when they do fail.

J.W Anderson, on the other hand, really put his best foot forward this season and presented this work in a really cool way too which only added to the positives; whilst the way the shots were edited was funky af, it didn’t detract from the actual outfits, and if we are to see the same limitations when it comes to the F/W collections being released, this is something a lot of designers and editing teams should take note of. The idiosyncratic exaggerated shapes that we see as a recurring feature of Anderon’s collections were still on show but this time round with added femininity, billowing skirts and trailing jewellery that channel the stage looks of Stevie Nicks in a way that’s modern and functional and maybe even fit for the office if you were to work in a more creative industry with a chill boss. Could also work for a coven of witches who practice meditation by bonfires in the moonlight and burn the letters of men who wronged them in some Arizonian desert, so like I said, functional! Who doesn’t like versatility? The only thing I’m not too keen on is the shoes but they’re not so bad that it affects my opinion of the collection and they look comfy I guess.

Lastly, we’ve got to talk about Jacquemus, one of the most influential names in fashion at the moment. And yes, this time round, I’m doing it: I’m buying into the hype.

This collection is gorgeousss! I can see already that a lot of the recurring elements of the show are going to be big summer trends for this year (the cut outs and strappy details on the blouses are everywhere already) even though it isn’t hot enough to have collectively decided the time to start dressing for heat is upon us yet, and that’s always a good indicator of how successful the designer was in their vision and attempts to assess the needs and wants of fashion enthusiasts; whether I’m as big a fan of his work as everyone else seems to be, there’s no denying Simon Porte Jacquemus has always excelled at this practice if the buzz around him is anything to go by. It makes sense given the last year of us all being stuck in and suppressed that a lot of us are already romanticising the summer ahead, anticipating picnics and beach days and general Theresa May running through wheat fields type shenanigans galore, in spite of how dubious an assumption it is to make that British weather will allow for this; Porte Jacquemus has very much catered to this wishful thinking and the popularity of the whole escapist “cottage core” aesthetic, sexing it up a little bit with pieces that hug the body in ways only Mugler knows how whilst being lightweight and relaxed enough to look good with windswept, sandy hair and a little dose of sunburn. I’m talking enough to give you some cutesy freckles and rosy cheeks not PSA on the importance of suncream territory, guys, what is it with those of us on the gen Z/millennial cusp not taking sun damage seriously!? Why do I have to beg so many of my friends to wear it!? Does nobody else remember those photos they’d show you in PSHE in English primary schools of burnt people’s skin under UV lights? Or is that just me being weird and only having such a vivid memory of the images because teachers told us we had to wait until year 6 to see them due they to their “graphic” nature only for my gore-loving self to be extremely underwhelmed when we finally did get that lesson? They showed us a woman giving birth in year 4 for fuck’s sake. THAT was traumatising.

Back to the actual point anyway, with just a couple of negatives, the first of which being that the pieces are very similar to those feminine looks we saw dotted about the Jacquemus menswear collection from last year that were all over fashion Twitter. In Simon Porte Jacquemus’ defence though, it makes sense that those tones and silhouettes would be revisited in a full womenswear collection for that very reason; considering they went down so well and that lockdown gave us a bit of a half-baked summer in 2020, expanding on those elements enough for a whole new collection makes good business sense. We did get some cool additions too, mainly in the form of accessories, with the hardware details on the belts similar to those included in the Givenchy collection and the abstract hair slides being standouts for me. It was all exquisite-the shoes, the jewellery, the styling, everything 10/10. My other nitpick, and I say nitpick not because it’s not important but because it’s an issue that’s hardly restricted to Jacquemus (this casting team are far from the worst offenders, Saint Laurent I’m looking at you), is that I WISH we’d see more diversity with the models. Despite what my body dysmorphia yells at me, I am small, and yet seeing all those fucking minuscule waists made me die a little inside; it’s crazy to me that in 2020 the lack of variety in body types on the runway is still such a problem.

I must have said this a million times but I don’t want to end on a negative note so let me reiterate: this collection was STUN. NING. Plus there were some others I’ve talked about in this post that I’m sure will make it into my top 20 in the final part, Jacquemus, Dion Lee and Etro for sure; we even got some gorgeous pieces from Maria Grazia which I thought was a sentence I’d never type out. Have I said enough to not leave a bad taste in the mouth of anyone who read to the end of this post? I hope so, lol! TBH, it’s impressive given everything that’s going on that the majority of designers did roll out collections in September as usual so serious respect to them and their design teams for that.

In the next post, I’ll fingers crossed be able to include everything from Kim Shui (exciting!) through to at least Off-White (actually pretty good this time?!) and make this whole thing a 4 parter before getting straight on top of the photo posts I’m thinking about doing for the time being for the F/W21 shows. So as usual, if you did read to the end thank you so much and I respect the perseverance you must have to get through all my rambling, lmao. Hope everyone is well and coping okay and again, my inbox is always open for any post suggestions, constructive criticism, or just a chat for anyone who needs a listening ear.

Big love and thank you again!

Lauren x

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dreamylyfe-x · 5 years ago

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Loving on 10x12: Gallavich!

I don’t think I have much that’s unique to say, but I really have to talk about how good that episode was. On strong community advice I was trying to keep my expectations low. I loved the advance scene... like loved it. But I tried to keep myself in line and decided to be ok with no vows and very little actual wedding stuff. Like maaaaybe they’d do that. Or maybe it would all be hi-jinks and the wedding would be in a montage and nothing much would happen.

But then it was SO MUCH good stuff. Which I want to record now.

* First of all, so much good intra-Gallagher interaction. I feel like this is what the show does best and they do it so little, but it’s always great to see them all together fighting for a common goal. And it was awesome that the goal was a) stop Mickey from committing homicide in broad daylight and b) get Mickey and Ian married.

* We are paying attention to the fact that Ian is bipolar. I will come back to that.

* For the people who wanted to know how the wedding was being paid for, we have an answer: Crime. (I’m ok with this.)

* I love the shot as Carl leaves the bedroom and pushes the door closed behind him, and we see Ian pulling off Mickey’s towel just as it closes. (The grab that proceeded it was nice, too.)

* I’m easy: I’ve fully bought into Sandy and Debbie. I do not like Julia.

* Oh the Sandy tip, it honestly does make sense to me that Mickey would have developed a bond with his lesbian cousin in his super homophobic family. And again: Mickey needs a friend.

* Ok. Complaint. I don’t love the hitting? It’s just not for me. And I’m always like “Ok, it’s the show, this is the dynamic” and then I end up all “But... did it have to happen twice?” or “Did he have to walk UP the stairs to hit him?”

* I do not mind the biting. Feral is feral.

* Because I recall seeing some people being annoyed that Ian said Mickey was prone to murder, I just want to point out that Mickey is pretty prone to murder.

* The second scene with Mickey handcuffed by the washer is one of my favourite scenes of the season. (Wedding scenes are on a different metric.) Kinda drunk and literally being kept on a chain, making a list of what are probably some of Terry’s lesser crimes against him (but just so... petty. So cruel. So very much the acts of a man who just doesn’t care about anyone on any level and must ENJOY making his kids miserable. He has what? Five kids? That’s a lot of halloween candy to steal.) I don’t think Mickey talks that much about what Terry’s done to him to anyone, so seeing him innumerate these events to a relative, who knows all about them, just moved me. And then the “I love you. I LOVE you.” It sounded so similar to the one from 5x12. Like this is essential information Ian needs.

* I also love how Mickey just gives up, honestly. I love it because it means everyone else has to step in to give him what he wants and I’m glad he got to have that experience, right down to Ian complimenting the chairs.

* So much of the time Ian looks so adult and so far from the Ian from the first five seasons, but several times in this episode he was shot in a way where I could really see younger Ian in his face and I loved that.

* Lip, suggesting a plan where Ian might have to watch Mickey marry a woman might not be your most sensitive moment.

* The bow tie scene. Mickey is a hard no on kids. Ian wants them. Mickey immediately becomes a soft yes. That’s on brand.

* They have gay friends! I’m not even talking about the Gay Jesus kids, but the people who turned up before that to make things awkward. Good to see.

* I would not describe myself as a Debbie fan, but I really loved her this episode. Like it’s almost an “all is forgiven” amount of love.

* Speaking of Gay Jesus, I was glad to see Geneva make a comeback, since it appeared that she’d completely abandoned him. And it made sense. I was thinking when he was on Grindr -- shouldn’t someone notice he’s Gay Jesus? Shouldn’t Bryon have, if he’s so politically informed?

Ok. The wedding. So much has been said so well, but I need to obsess about a few little things.

* Ian chose “At Last”. God. It made me feel how much he’s wanted this and for how long. Honestly, even with the years they were apart, did Ian really ever want anyone else? Really?

* Franny is wonderfully accurate in her sloppy flower girl work. That’s what it’s like when the flower girl is four.

* We got the vows. And they’re the traditional ones, which I thought was perfect. It’s hard for me to picture either of them doing more personal vows in front of people.

* I thought Cam was so good here. Ian was so intent and he had that edge of emotion peaking through. And for both of them, I felt like they were saying these words everyone knows, but really making sure the other person heard them. And here's also where I come back to the fact that they uncharacteristically talked about Ian's meds earlier in the episode -- because it really echoes here. They've done for poorer and they've done sickness. And they did it as KIDS, so they really understand what they're promising each other and that just GOT to me.

* I know I have so much company here, but Ian looks SO young when he asks "Now?" and then kisses Mickey like someone is about to take him away from him. And Mickey looks... happy. Eff you, Terry. He's happy. It's so beautiful.

* Ian lifting Mickey's hand up as they walk down the aisle reminds me of the end of a boxing match and I love it, because this has been a fight, people. They fought for it, hard, and they emerged victorious.

* Ok. So. The dance. @fiona-fififi wrote such a great, long piece about this and I will only be a dim echo here, but it was my favourite moment. Wedding stuff gets a different metric and of the wedding stuff, this was the part that got to me the most. They're married. Mickey is dancing with Sandy. Ian and Debbie (the only person to ever be a hero for wearing a wedding dress to a wedding that is not her own) are sitting together and Ian does something so vulnerable. He knows he's the kid who misses Monica the most. He knows he feels the loss in a way the others don't. And it makes sense to me that he says he misses her to Debbie, who has the best chance of getting it -- but it's still a risk. It's a confession and Debbie does what he needs her to do and tells him Monica would have loved this. Which is true. She might have RUINED it, but she would have loved it. She gives Ian permission to be sad, to grieve. And he lets the feelings come up and then he does the thing that always gets to me the MOST with these two. The kisses are great. They have some epic ones. But Gallavich hugs just rip my heart out. They just cling to each other, every time. There is nothing casual about it. And when Ian goes to "dance with his husband" he's actually going to just melt into him. And they bury their faces against each other, and he holds Mickey and they sway it's just... perfect. The song nails it. This, more than anything, makes me feel the love this show managed to create with these two. Which I believe on a level I rarely do. They fit together, they belong together and they really, really earned this. Cue gasping sobs.

* I do not understand how it's light out when they leave. Does this fit with Senior Hour? But ok. Let's go with it. The car was a great piece to give Liam and Frank, they look fantastic in their tuxes and I love how Mickey kinda swings into the car the same way he could swing around under the bleachers. There's so much joy in him.

* The only thing I'm going to say about Lip is the Tami deserves some kind of medal.

* I wrote a whole post about the tattoo, and we first see it when he's out of the shower, but I'm really not kidding about this. The tattoo was something I spent WAY too much time speculating about in my head and I thought it was weird that an actor they once shot wearing only a guitar was constantly so covered up. Plus, probably should have shown with the prison tanks, given the original placement. I support the retconning of this because it keeps the gesture without it being a major distraction.

But that is NOT where that tattoo was!

Now it's over his heart. Awww.

ANYWAY. I loved this. I'm so glad I got on this ship. It's so rare you get something like this in a fandom. So. Don't screw it up, Shameless! Only have to maintain for 12 more episodes. That's all I ask.

I hope it's not too much.

#gallavich #ian x mickey #that was so good tho

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green-blooded · 5 years ago

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So I watched Into Darkness and wrote out my reactions to it... Again, it's going to be negative, so if that'd bother you, please don't read! All Star Trek fans are legit, even if this is a portion of the canon I don't like.

A brief summary of my reaction:

And it's a Star Wars opening. This is a scene from a Star Wars film. The sound effects even sound like Star Wars. LIKE. I love Star Wars, but this isn't supposed to be Star Wars please stop.

I mean why should we give Uhura any characterization other than liking Spock. That would take effort or something.

I'll admit that I like Spock hanging out in a volcano wearing a disco suit. It's where he belongs. It is his home now that they blew up Vulcan. ('Cause it's a volcano, get it.)

Hey, hey omg they are almost doing a philosophical thing with Spock being willing to die for the needs of the many and McCoy yelling at him, then telling Kirk that if the situation were reversed, Spock would let him die. It's almost a Star Trek!

They're letting McCoy have lines. Wooow. I don't expect it to last.

Um... suddenly I'm in an episode of Black Mirror or something? I don't... wait holy shit that's Mickey? Who gives a shit about Sherlock, that's MICKEY. I didn't know he was in this!

Oh good, Kirk is having a threesome with alien twins. Cool. Love this. Love it. Great characterization.

OH GOOD more bickering between Spock and Kirk that is absolutely the worst and I hate it. :)

I just want McCoy in scenes. :( I just want Uhura with her own story. :( I just want to not look at Sherlock's face. :( Oh look, Mickey's already dead. :(

I don't... get Spock's characterization in these movies. I don't get what Kirk and Spock's friendship is. I don't... feel anything about it. I actually really love Kirk and Spock's friendship, and not having it work for me is a huge void, right up there with McCoy having lost his role in the trio.

So much of the sound design is Star Wars-y. It's really, really bugging me.

Chris Pine is such a likable guy. I really do enjoy when he's on screen. I don't like some of the characterization that he's been saddled with, but I like the character just fine outside of him being called Kirk.

... The conflict that made Kirk not the captain of the Enterprise and Spock not the first officer lasted for like five minutes and had no consequences wow.

OH MCCOY IS GRACING MY SCENE AND HAVING MORE INTERESTING INTERACTIONS THAN ANYONE ELSE AGAIN WOW THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EXISTING. I really do enjoy him fretting over Kirk. It is really cute.

Ugh, please stop having Kirk take the place of McCoy in the arguments with Spock. I hate it. It does not work, especially with McCoy not taking Kirk's role of being mediator. It's just bicker bicker bicker but without actual ethics really being brought in because?????? WHO KNOWS. Why'd they have to mess up the trio? That was the easiest thing not to mess up.

Here's what it is. The conflict between Kirk and Spock in AOS is a pissing contest with the standard TWO MEN CAN'T JUST BE FRIENDS THEY HAVE TO BE COMPETITIVE. While the conflict between Spock and McCoy in TOS is ethical and moral differences with a core of (admittedly complex) friendship. Just. Let men be friends and have real disagreements instead of just trying to play Alpha Male.

As I'm typing this, they're doing the same with Kirk and SCOTT of all people????????????? This is so not Star Trek ugh. Let people be nice to each other what the hell. Kirk is such a nice person. Let him be NICE. Let Spock be NICE. They only one they made nice is McCoy, and they only managed it giving him 0% of his edge. He's just cranky instead of a super intelligent and philosophical guy who is also Real Southern and ready to argue.

... He just made Chekov his chief of engineering? What... are... who... why is everyone on this ship twelve.

Is it just me or do they write Spock as an android instead of a Vulcan? Like... he knows how Humans work. And yeah, he sometimes plays up being non-Human on TOS, but... it just seems so overdone. Maybe I'm being too picky idk.

I continue to hate the Spock/Uhura stuff wow.

Take McCoy On Away Missions He Has No Business Going On Like Real Star Trek!!!

Oh my god even the shuttles are fucking huge. Why are all these ships so big inside? It makes everything feel much more sterile and difficult to believe.

The McCoy and Sulu interactions are A+.

Oh good, now Uhura is having a McCoy argument with Spock. Don't let McCoy have any role in this whole movie, that's fine. I mean the Bread and Circuses talk about Spock wanting to die was way better and took less screentime, but that's fine. That's fine. Let's just bluntly talk directly about Spock's Feelings instead of any kind of subtlety. God I really hate the writing.

Wow, we almost had one (badly written) conversation without an action scene. Phew, they fixed that.

Why does every iteration of Star Trek feel the need to completely redo Klingons from scratch?

Oh no, they almost have diplomacy where Uhura got to show off her skills, couldn't have that. Time for an action scene!

Every interaction Kirk or Spock has with another man in this whole fucking movie is aggressive for no reason. And even in this alternate universe, McCoy refuses the toxic masculinity. This is why I love him. He just wants to be everyone's mom friend.

DID THIS MOVIE JUST IMPLY THAT KIRK FUCKED CHRISTINE CHAPEL I FUCKING WHAT THE FUCKING WHAT WHAT WHAT NO STOP SHE IS NOT A NAME DROP FOR YOU TO MAKE THE FANS HAPPY SHE IS A CHARACTER THAT I LOVE AND I DEMAND RESPECT BE PUT ON HER NAME AND SHE AND KIRK DID NOT FUCK AND IF THEY DID HE WOULD REMEMBER IT

Oh hey they did send McCoy on an away-- what? Did he just... flippantly refer to a Gorn? That's... they didn't... whatever. McCoy demanding to be left behind to die for the good of someone else just flies by unnoticed but it was a big deal for Spock. Okay.

Ok, the reveal that this is about Khan is more than an hour into the movie. Which is a reveal everyone knew before the movie came out and also a character that we're all familiar with. So I just kinda feel like every minute of the movie so far was just wasted on backstory. Again!

(McCoy should be in this scene where they confront Khan but whatever.)

Hey, AOS? We already know that Khan is a fucking monster, so trying to get us to feel sorry for him as if we don't know this is weird as hell. Like, these ethical quandaries it's trying to bring up are not working for me at all, because... if you're going to base this on TOS, you can't just pretend nothing in TOS happened!

Also love these reveals where I'm supposed to care what ship just showed up, but they're shining lights in my eyes so I can't even see what it is!

Nimoy was on my screen time to start paying attention again. I definitely kind of zoned out for a while there. I think I missed like five consecutive action scenes.

Again, why are we getting a reveal about Khan being evil? We... we know this. Even people who don't watch Star Trek know he's a bad guy. Why do we need Nimoy to tell us this? We're an hour and a half into the movie and still getting reveals that we should have known before the movie started!

~ This Is Dumb ~

Oh my gosh Khan betrayed them wow i didn't see that coming

Wow look at this disaster that shows why a huge fucking ship with endlessly huge corridors is maybe a bad idea because we're in space and gravity failures means everyone would fucking die. I hate this pointlessly large interior oh man.

How long do I have to watch the Enterprise fall apart before something new happens? This movie could be like half an hour long if we just cut the pointless action scenes.

Okay, time for the only actual reveal in the whole film; Kirk "dies" instead of Spock. It might be good if it didn't go on too long and make the Sad Music swell. They did hire good actors, so you'd think they'd let them use their Acting Skills instead of making it sappy and dumb with bad cinematography and overwhelming music.

So, for one thing, McCoy should be getting to Engineering to see to Kirk when he gets out, not Spock. For another thing, there is no history between this Kirk and Spock that makes this moment meaningful. Maybe it would be kinda, if you don't have Wrath of Khan (which I don't even like!) to compare it to where we have three seasons and two movies of history between two people who are actually friends! Kirk's actual friend in these movies is McCoy, WHO SHOULD BE THE ONE CALLED DOWN HERE THIS IS A MEDICAL SITUATION.

Like, it's great that you're feeling, Spock, but I'm sure not. This is so dumb.

NOW UHURA'S HERE. WHERE IS MCCOY? THE MEDICAL OFFICER AND FUCKING FRIEND OF KIRK?

Oh god did he just yell khan no this is so dumb this is so dumb now i AM crying this is so dumb

Love that they took the Khan storyline and drained it of any relevance by not really getting into the whole eugenics aspect.

Oh now I get to see someone who actually was Kirk's friend reacting to hsi death. Thanks for finally getting to something meaningful, movie. Oh man, I almost felt something, because Urban is a pretty good actor and McCoy's friendship with Kirk is the only relationship I care about in the AOS, but then there was a tribble and ruined it, so.

This fight between Khan and Spock is dumb, just. Dumb. It's dumb. This is dumb. Why does every action sequence go on SO LONG.

Spock's rage toward Khan makes no sense. He and Kirk barely tolerate each other in these movies, I don't get it.

McCoy and Kirk are really cute in these movies. That's all I have. Of course, we can't let McCoy talk too much, because this is the Kirk and Spock show.

OH GOD THE TRANSITION TO THE OPENING SPEECH WAS SO BAD I'M LAUGHING SO HARD.

Oh thank goodness, this movie is over. I am hoping I'll like Beyond, because people have said this one might not be awful. Probably going to wait until tomorrow because it's nearly midnight and I want to be in a better mood when I watch it.

#negativity #the funny thing is i think i might write more fanfic in aos-verse but #not because i love it like i love the other star treks #but because there are some good things that i want to explore which they do not explore

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boymeetsweevil · 6 years ago

Text

bts as boyfriends

a/n: tbh this was basically a list of things i just had swirling around in my head and its basically a continuation of my moments w/ bts and sleepovers w/ bts

Kim Seokjin

Squishes your cheeks together in his big ol’ hands because he can and because he thinks you look cute that way

Is highkey a fan of having matching stuff, but not full-blown couple outfits

thats where he draws the line >:|

Created a separate instagram account just to document the meals you guys have together on your date nights

Dumb (but cute) snapchats of him doing that fast yelling thing he does but he just tells you how much he misses you rly aggressively

also spams you with selfies and videos from other members’ accounts

Pets names hmmm

prefers to call you Doll

yeobo seems too serious (its what his parents call each other)

Sweetie/Honey makes him feel like an old woman

On your one year anniversary he gave you a 5000 dollar watch but presented it in a box wrapped in printer paper that had his face printed all over it that he made in Microsoft word with some of the editing crew’s help

all of his gifts get wrapped this way

Jin Is scary serious when you take a selfie together

“Babe, this isn’t the angle--quick lets move over here so we can still catch the light” ***proceeds to sprint ahead of you to some random spot where the lighting is optimal and hurry u over like “ >:( cmon the sun is setting” ***

Is not your typical PDA type, will do weird things just to embarrass you

puts his hand in your back pocket while you’re in the starbucks line and smiles when you give him incredulous side eye

rests his phone on your head to mock you for being shorter than him

Links arms with you like old lady gal pals while you’re walking because he knows you HATE IT

fake moans when you swat his arm for being weird and embarrassing

you shushing him and ending up just glaring because he has no shame and there’s an old man glaring at u on the subway

You can bet he tests out recipes on you!

some of ur most romantic nights have been when you come over just casually but the whole house smells like food he’s been tweaking

you sit at a stool by the kitchen island and he comes by with like 8 different sauces you need to try and noodles to test for texture

He is the type of boyfriend that thinks its funny to gross you out

he eats food the fell on the floor just to piss you off

will kiss u while he’s chewing gum :(

touches u with his bare feet :((((((

Min Yoongi

Is less bold but NEVER lacking with his affection

Likes to take walks in any weather

E.g. Loves when its rainy because then you have to huddle close because he INSIsts on sharing an umbrella

E.g. Will even walk in the winter/end of fall because he likes to share mittens and scarves - this is the closest thing to cheesy you will ever get with him

Isn’t the type to send selfies

if he does, its just of his shoes of the day with an ironic caption like “rate my fit and i’ll follow back”

Readily accepts all of your selfies, though

Upgraded his phone 2x just so he could have the extra storage to save all your photos

a lot of them are blackmail worthy, which is the reason for saving them half the time

Yoongi Is a champ when you get drunk

will hold your hair back

lets you spit your gum out into his bare fucking hand before u hurl and will not flinch

rejects all of your lewd propositions, but may record you and play back your whiny drunk voice the next morning to make you reconsider taking shots next time (PS u dont ever reconsider)

he likes home dates too, obvi

usually you schedule naps at his place because everything about his bedroom is better than yours

mattress is huge and the perfect firmness

sheets are higher thread-count

can sleep with his hand up your shirt all he wants because he doesn’t have any roommates at his own place

pillows are always cool to the touch BUT

he might schedule dates at your place if he’s been away and just wants to bury himself in your smell. Speaking of...

...Yoongo is a smeller

he is always smelling you, loves how you smell

He smells your hair while zoning out waiting for his americano to come out when ur at a cafe

He’ll wrap himself around you from behind and sniff your neck idly while he plays candy crush on your belly while u try to cook dinner

Nicknames vary on his mood/your behavior

brat - for when you’re being a brat duh

kid - default, all purpose and a little mocking

your last name when he’s feeling rowdy

your first name when he’s emotional

Jung Hoseok

Hobi always runs full force at u when he sees you even if you’ve been in each other’s faces all week

Whenever he’s bored and you’re nearby he’ll moonwalk around you

You love to watch him practice but you also hate it because if you make eye contact he’ll come over and try to pull you in to teach you

He’s tried to teach you to dance dozens of times and you never get any of his choreo

usually it ends in him maneuvering you into a slow 2 step

which then always becomes a tiny makeout session

but honestly so many other random activities you do together turn into makeout sessions because tbh hob is a bit of a greaseball

this means that half the time you’re ignoring him pawing at u and making cheesy jokes during inopportune times

the other half of the time ur dragging him by the collar and looking for an empty room to take him into because u dig him and his cheesy horndog antics

He’s also lowkey highkey a dudebro

crowds you because he wants to chest bump and ur like “-.- again?”

kept trying to get your secret couple greeting to be that little surfer hand thingie he does with tae sometimes and u said no because neither of u are 8 anymore

likes spontaneous dates, so usually you’ll text him wyd and if he’s free he’ll just answer ‘coming to get u now’ and then you sigh and slip on your shoes and wonder when you’ll be able to have a date where its not 10:30 at night and you’re not wearing sweats and ur not going out just to go eat some chicken by the Han

You utilize all your privileges that you have dating him to visit Mickey

any time there is a break in the guys’ scheduling you say you want to visit mickey

He lowkey hates those days because you just lie on the floor next to mickey and eat the snacks his mom puts out and COMPLETELY ignore him

u and his sister take turns petting mickey and telling embarrassing stories about hob while he sulks in the corner

he gets revenge by taking 20 pics of ur back and doodling horns on ur head and spamming u with them

Probably would call you a bunch of weird things as a pet name

ducky, peaches, cutie, hotpot, captain etc.

sometimes calls you sweet thang but only when its after dark and he’s trying to make moves

Hobi is the type to always want idle touch but its not exclusively sexy u kno?

if you’re watching tv together he’ll have an arm slung over you

if you’re out to dinner, he gravitates towards booths so he can press his shoulder against yours

if you’re chilling in bed you HAVE to be rubbing his arm or else he’ll give you the most ridiculous pout [its so cute tho :’C ]

Thinks you’re the funniest person alive, is always laughing at stuff you said whether if was supposed to be a joke or not

which means he does that deep hiccuping giggle all the time and you just :’))))))

He’s so patient and let’s you test out all your new skin care products on him because he likes having your hands on his face and the way you talk softly half to him, half to yourself while you talk about what you’re doing

maybe its ASMR lmao

Kim Namjoon

The first thought you had after you started dating was that you could touch his dimples any time you wanted

so naturally you do

he has long since gotten used to you just touching them while he’s driving, reading, listening to music, just existing

the first time you did it he was just talking to you about something and when he felt your finger nudge his dimple

Joon: “I feel like if we visited in the spring we could go frog catching and maybe then we could-----*you jam your finger into his dimple*

You: and? what were you saying?

Joon: uhhhh I forgot :0

a fan of couple outfits but not in the same sense Jin. its more like he likes to plan your outfits

he gets really excited when he thinks of something you would look good in and always gets really bashful right before he shows it to you because he wants you to like it

he has great taste and is very observant of u and ur style so there has never been a time where he has planned an outfit for u and u looked less than amazing

same for photos, he takes really good artsy photos of you all the time

thats what 80% of dates with him are

walking through the city at night so he can take a picture of you with the city scape behind you

or going to those instagram-able cafes in the city during their slow hours so he can pictures of your coffees and you sitting next to a pastel neon sign that says like Love Hurts or something edgy like that

taking photos like that one girl and her bf who travel alot on ig, u know the one

but u never actually manage to get a good shot like that because ur always like ‘joon my arm hurts why dont u be the girl’

He’s in general big on googling popular activities and getaways and making a big deal of documenting it

as a result: he’s been working on a scrapbook and he thinks you don’t know but you and all 6 other members and even Bang PD know about the scrapbook

he gives it to you on your anniversary and even though youre expecting it, you cry

he takes photos of that too and it goes in the one for next yr lol

He calls you baby of course

but not in an exaggerated/pronounced way

it comes out super naturally and he says it more than he says your actual name

u better Get used to just turning around and catching him giving you that one soft smile he does with his whole face

“is there something on my face?”

“no, just enjoying the view <3”

Always wants to make your plate when u visit his home, and always ALWAYS gives you too much food

going there and realizing that maybe its a family thing as you watch his mom heftily scoop vegetables onto his dad’s plate while his dad looks on in worry about where he’s going to fit it

Using Joon’s lap as a pillow!!!

he can read and stroke your head while you snooze

him humming off key because he thinks it helps you sleep

Park Jimin

Before you started dating, Jimin seemed like the guy that everyone loves because he’s effortlessly cool and charming

And he is even after you start dating BUT

He is also a little praise monster and lives for your compliments

Jimin takes advantage of the fact that you are obviously enamored with him and will do things to fluster you on purpose

runs his hands through his hair because he knows you can’t look away

gets unnecessarily close to tell you things because he knows you get goosebumps when he whispers in your ear

plays chicken with you all the time

slow looks at u until u squirm

HE’s a menace

but also reminds you of a bumblebee

Jimin loves to go to see the latest comedy movies and those are always fun

Not because the movies are actually that funny (lowkey he has really bad taste in comedy movies), but because he will LOSE IT in the middle of the theatre and end up slumped over the armrest just laughing his head off

Cue the high squeaky laugh where he can’t even see the movie screen anymore because his eyes are squeezed shut :3

After the movie he always tries to retell funny scenes like

“And then *laughs* did you see the part where the guy *laughs* *laughs more* and then he *dolphin noises*

“Yeah, Minnie it was funny”

He always wants you to come to the gym with him because he gets an unnecessary amount of motivation from those gym couple accounts on instagram

You go in your big t-shirt and shorts and he goes in a similar outfit

It always ends up with u watching him because again he looks good when he lifts weights and does squats

he likes the attention too

Calls u cutie

but thinks its funny to sometimes address u as his favorite anime villian’s name ur always like hmm time to go now

He’s a feeder kinda like joon

YOu can’t ever eat anything by yourself, he always wants to cut things for you, spoon feed you

he’s very caring

This means he also is super attentive when ur sick and will bring u soup and play cards in bed and always refresh ur water and bother u about taking medicine

Kim Taehyung

Everything with Taehyung is beautiful and u feel beautiful with him which is so amazing and crazy at the same time

He is a big cheerleader for u he loves everything u do

You made a badly folded origami and he shouted cute and was so genuine and got it laminated somehow and keeps it as a keychain accessory

He’s always showing you things

like some of his favorite classical art pieces that he’s saved pictures of on his phone

sometimes he tells you about how he can’t wait to plan the perfect trip to europe with u so u can visit some of his favorite pieces face to face

Always showing u his new (and old) favorite songs and movies

some of ur dates are going to see old films or foreign films at this one really hip theatre in the city

he bought a gramophone a little while back before u started dating and he loves to play records for you and lie with you on the floor and show u the best parts of the song with his hands in the air

He has a fancy camera too that he uses to document “special moments”

when u asked him how come he always uses it to take picture of u then he was like everything with u is special and u had to tackle him and cover his whole face in kisses because he cant just say things like that without facing the consequences

He keeps a journal where he doodles in the margins and writes songs and poems that only some people have seen like yoongi or jimin

he tried to draw you once and it came out looking a little strange but he’s still learning and u love him for it

He also gets soo sooo excited when you show him your favorite things

u dont do it as much because they dont seem as cultured or pretty but u show him a movie from ur childhood that u still watch once or twice a year and his eyes were huge the whole time and he was so glad to watch it with you

Calls u Jagi because he likes what it means and its truly accurate

U guys are just on the same wavelength and he really appreciates that u dont find him weird or quirky or overly pretentious even

u finish each others sentences and can predict moods pretty well its a little scary for the guys to watch u talk to each other in half sentences and know what the other means

When u first met, it was through Joon because he thought u guys would click and he was super nervous and worried because a lot of ppl don’t really GET him

Maybe at ur blind date a song came on in the restuarant u were in and it was a song he really liked

and then u were really shyly like “it feels like when you find a really special spot in the woods that nobody knows about” and hes like

“yeah, it really does” and then goes home and writes ur name 20 times in his notebook before getting the courage to call u about a 2nd date

Jeon Jungkook

You already know what it is with this kid: MEME CENTRAL

seriously ur texts are like 80% reaction pictures you downloaded off the internet that just get cycled over and over again because they’ve started to replace certain common phrases and emotions

Yoongi tried to jack JKs phone once and read the messages out loud to the members to try and embarrass him and he actually couldn’t read the last 24 hours of messages because it was literally all pictures/emojis

JK thinks ur laugh is the best sound he’s ever heard and is always trying to bring it out

he makes so many weird faces

those also become memes in the chat

he does so many exaggerated moves from choreo just to get u to crack up

does random weird things with his voice at inappropriate times to get u to choke

Like Jimin he is a praise monster

he wants u to think he’s impressive because he thinks ur very accomplished and cool and he’s still very much the young shy boy he was before joining the band.

Does flips because he knows u love it and won’t leave u alone until u confirm that u are in fact watching

JK: “Hey, hey, watch this LOOK are u looking?”

YOU: “Yes oh my god what?”

JK:*Does a backflip*

YOU:.........DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDEEE WTF ITS LIT IN HERE

JK: *internally* i can die now

Get ready for some next level cuteness OMG

the little nose scrunch will become the most frequent thing

u will be ruffling his hair and it’ll tickle so he’ll scrunch his nose and u’ll just explode its amazing

The BABY SMILE every time its been a while since you’ve seen each other

You’ll practically tackle him and he loves it and spins u around a little too fast

Those big sparkly eyes that he has?????

prepare for those when its his night to cook but he doesn’t feel like it and says he wants to order pizza for the billionth time

You can’t say no to him ever

gaming is not your thing but he will rope you into a 3 hour Fortnight tutorial because u love him

Not really big on pet names, or like any names for that matter

but he will use your actual name for when he wants ur undivided attention

Is scared that you think he’s immature so sometimes he’ll try to go a day without making a joke and then its ur job to try your hardest to crack him up

this is good because ultimately u also love his high pitched loud laugh

#bangtan bookclub #bttnetwork #btswriters #hyunglinenetwork #networkbangtan #bangtan #bts fanfic #bangtan fanfic #bangtan imagines #bangtan scenario #bts scenarios #bts imagines

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koganphrancis · 7 years ago

Photo

(I saw these cropped in a similar way on eliosberm’s Twitter and I liked it because it looks like Ian’s in jail-foreshadowing the not too distant future, perhaps)

Ugh, so do I have it in me to recap the Season H8 Premiere?

It was so boring! If they were trying to set up an exciting season, they failed miserably-which is no surprise, I know, but what did surprise me was how bland it all was.

First I want to address the time skip-from Monica’s pre-Christmas demise to...end of summer? Maybe? Liam’s in school, Debbie’s in school, but Carl’s not (yet), but I doubt it’s early summer/almost the end of school for L&D, so it’s probably late summer and at least 8 months since Monica’s funeral...but Fiona hasn’t met any of her tenants till last night? Welcome to the usual Shameless Time Warp where no one is experiencing the same passage of time.

Anyway-yeah, Fiona. She’s off Tinder after an opening scene with a blue dick-at first I thought it was a dildo but I guess the guy was wearing a blue condom? For whatever reason, she’s not into...something with the guy, and after about six close ups of her looking like she’s never seen a penis before, she throws her clothes on over her underwear (no FIona tits shot? JW must’ve been so disappointed) and splits. The only other thing she does in the episode is go to her apartment building and meet the lesbian tenant that dozens of people in the Shameless tag hope she has a “gay” relationship with (whereas Fiona isn’t gay and would either be bi or pan if it were to happen)-but spoiler alert-Emmy did say Fiona’s strictly dickly (unlike Ian got to be), so I’m doubting the show goes there. The new tenant has a girlfriend who, so far, is coming off as a bitch, so, you know, Shameless keeping up their streak of no such thing as a happy gay couple! Anyway-aren’t you all excited for a TV show about a woman who runs a diner and manages an apartment building? Yawn.

Lip is being a tool-mooning over Snore who has told him she wants nothing to do with him. He’s not taking No for an answer for some reason, and he volunteers to babysit her kid, giving her a speech that had me gnashing my teeth and thinking it was all things Ian should’ve been saying to Svetlana two seasons ago about how he likes her son and misses seeing him. Meanwhile, he also sneaks off and pays her overdue electric bill for her (and, in typical Shameless fashion-she’s on the phone begging the electric company to let her send in $50 towards her big overdue bill-while wearing at least $50 worth of make up. And I don’t mean they caked it on her and made her look slutty-but she DID look like she had her face done at a spa and, come on? I know they don’t want to be as gritty and realistic as they could be when it comes to the actors’ looks, but they could pull it into the realm of possible). But wait! He’s also acting like a total horndog for a chick at the motorcycle shop he’s working at with his sponsor. So, which is it? Is he lovesick over the one that got away and would give anything to be with her again, or is he still willing to bang any chick with a good body?

Carl is living out Ian’s dream-sort of. He’s observing all sorts of military rules, but he’s also moving everyone’s meth and he buys the hot tub for the back yard. And there’s a scene with all the guys in it, but there’s no steam coming off the water, so I wonder if the poor bastards had to sit in water as tepid as the overall episode was cuz that’s what it looked like. That hot tub didn’t seem hot.

Debbie’s going to welding school (so, she’s gotta be 18 now-look up welding schools in Illinois, LOL) and also working in a parking garage where she stuffs her kid in a pet carrier during her shift. I wish I was kidding. She’s got the hots for her welding teacher and for a guy she meets at a bar after school when she’s out with them after class-sticking Neil with her kid for the night. Debbie looking at these dudes with her lust eyes makes one think of what she did to poor Matty and even to her clueless baby daddy and it’s just icky.

Liam has lines now-who cares? That just means less for everyone else and his storyline so far is stupid-the school that he’s going to for free keeps pulling him out of class for free “advertising” when prospective parents come for a visit. And? If the Gallaghers get wind of it and don’t like it, they can put him into public school. That’ll show that evil snooty private school! There’s a scene where Fiona is driving Liam to school and asks him how school is-so, again, first time she’s ever taken an interest? He was going there last year too...

Frank is doing his usual schtick-it hasn’t won them an Emmy so far, but hey, why change shit up now? He was all wasted and burned out, lost a tooth because of his insane meth usage, and now is going to try to make amends to everyone he can remember that he wronged. Boring.

There was stuff with Kev that would be good if I hadn’t heard the story isn’t going to be serious and now I’m just bracing myself for them to play it up for laughs. And there was awful stuff with Vee being a real bitch to Svetlana about the bar. Svetlana says she’s willing to take Kev and Vee back-they’ll all work at the bar, raise the kids, be the thrupple (which I was never a fan of, but they all seemed into it, so what the hell)-but she’ll still own the bar and Vee is screaming no fucking way and I think even if Svetlana said they’d split ownership of the bar Vee would still say no. Svetlana says how they hadn’t paid taxes for two years and would’ve lost the bar anyway and it was Svetlana staying up all night doing the books that saved the place. Vee doesn’t give a shit and throws a punch and they fight and all the bar patrons look on and Kermit asks Tommy if they should stop it, but Wells is getting his boner over the girl on girl action and he says no. Later, Vee calls ICE on Svetlana and that was a total bitch move. Svetlana is completely in the right about the bar and it’s weird that the show is making her out as the evil Putin-loving Ruskie and expecting us to side with Vee.

Finally, Ian. He’s acting just like Lip-mooning over Terror and acting like a real loser about trying to get him back. WHY? What’s the attraction? I get it, corporate headquarters says there has to be a trans character-but why does Ian have to be involved with him? And why are they having him act like such a stalker? In the first scene together he asks Trash to go out for a drink-T can’t because he has a date. Ian says bring him. Tragedy says he can’t-it’s a drinks and movie thing. Ian looks gutted, says, “What movie?” Really, Ian? You gonna follow him to the movie theater and sit in the row behind them and jerk off? WTF? Why are they making it seem like Ian can’t find somebody new? The ambulance gets a call and Ian and Sue have to leave. After Ian leaves, one of the LGBTQ+ center’s youths (who looks a lot like Terror just without the chin hair and with a richer skin tone) gives Trumpet a hard time. “You used to hit that?” and maybe something like “why aren’t you still” and Teabag says, “It’s complicated,” and the junior Trev says, “Why? Because he fucked an old boyfriend?” Yeah, that’s all Mickey was-an old boyfriend. Not the love of Ian’s life, not the man who saved his life time and time again, just some guy Ian used to date in high school-like Ned or Kash. Grrrrrrrr. Anyway, I can’t even remember if there’s another scene with Trailmix, but the end Ian/Trial scene is Ian waiting outside the center like a total stalker, talking to the Jamie kid till Terror comes out and they”flirt” and it was soooooo awful. Ian says something about being irresistible, Terror says, “No,” Ian, all flirty says, “I’m not irresistible?” and leans closer. Terror says, “No to whatever you’re going to ask me this time.” Ian tries to ask him out for drinks again, Terror says “no” again-what is it with the show and not knowing No means no?-Terror for some reason says if Ian’s doing okay and when Ian tries to say he’s all right Terror brings up Ian’s mom-so, again-whether it’s been five months or eight-this is the first time he’s asking? Ian gets all sad, says something that again, he should be saying about Mickey and the way he ignored him while he was rotting away in jail :( “I miss her. It’s weird huh? Never around when she was alive and I never thought about her, now she’s gone and I think about her all the time.” And Cameron delivered those lines well, and made you believe them, but then in the quickest turn around since Jerome Valeska went from crying to Jim Gordon about his mom to laughing about killing her, Ian slides right back into flirt mode and says, “Come on, one drink!” It was creepy and crappy and if the show was actually handling/showing him dealing with bipolar disorder, you’d think they were setting the table for him to be on the edge of trouble with his meds again. But of course, that’s zzzzzz and he’s just a red blooded male, wanting to get back with his now-main-squeeze Treacle. Tupperware says no to the millionth drink invite and says he’s gotta go or whatever, and Ian says, “I’ll be back tomorrow.” It’s SO FUCKING CREEPY AND PATHETIC AND WEIRD. Oh, and I forgot-but in the middle of the flirting and Ian saying Jamie said to buy Terror a car (cuz, yeah, that’s true love, when you have to buy someone’s affection), Ian gives Terror another “I’m sorry” and this time it really is clearly about running off with Mickey (not the retconned scene from the “previously on Shameless” where they edited Ian saying he was sorry that he didn’t answer T’s texts to make it look like he was saying he was sorry for taking off with Mickey). THAT’S the conversation they need to have-instead of Ian merely saying he’s sorry, Terror needs to make him say what he’s sorry FOR. Terror needs to ask, “All things being equal-if there was some miracle and Mickey was set free and could move back here-would you pick me?” Why the fuck should Terror take Ian back, knowing he’ll never be what Ian really wants? Why does the show think we want to see them dance around that issue? Tragic never even says WHY he keeps turning Ian down-and of course, by the end of the episode you can see he’s thawing and it’s going to be so fucking unrealistic if they do get back together and act like a happy couple. Ian’s a bolter! We all know he’ll run again-hell, we all know Terror would run if he had to put up with any of Ian’s bipolar manifestations.

The ONLY good thing the episode had to offer was when Ian was in the hot tub and it made his curls come to life. I’m all for that-but I figure we’ll only see him in there up till the episode where he gets his tattoo and then it’ll be too much bother to let him be shirtless/wet. Which, if that applies to being with Terror, I guess I’ll be okay with sacrificing shirtless times when he’s not with that little whiner.

#Spoilers #Season H8 Episode 1 #Recap #The show has gotten even more boring #I made it thru last season because I knew Mickey was coming #This year we don't have that promise #I'm bitter #I didn't take notes while watching-only wrote down Ian's quote about Monica because I wanted to get that right #The rest idgaf #I remembered as best as I could

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geek-patient-zero · 5 years ago

Text

Part 1, Chapter 6

Or: Phantomas of Notre Dame

Blood War: Masquerade of the Red Death Trilogy Volume 1

Paris—March 12, 1994

The official smile of Paris is the sneer. The rich sneer at the middle class. The middle class sneer at the poor. And they all sneer at the hordes of tourists who flood their city each year.

I’ve actually remembered these lines since I first read them as a kid. I don’t know why, beyond it being Baby’s First French Stereotype Joke, but I did. I forgot what book they were from though, so when I reread Blood War and found them again, it was a nice surprise.

Their mockery, according to the guidebooks, is part of the charm of Paris. The city, with it’s great restaurants, fabulous museums, superb monuments, and long history, breeds contempt for the lesser achievements surrounding it. The average Parisian citizen considers himself far superior to anyone from outside the city.

It’s only Paris being singled out here, but still, I want to apologize to any French readers. It isn’t going to get much better for you guys in this book. But hey, at least your capital city isn’t a gang warzone.

That attitude explains, at least in theory, the joy the natives get from telling tales of the Phantom of the Paris Opera.

Not only are Parisians assholes, but they bug you into reading their Phantom of the Opera fanfics.

There’s some cliffnotes about the story (written by Gaston Leroux, demented genius living under the Paris Opera, hideously scarred, etc.), then we learn the titular Phantom is the French equivalent of Australia’s drop bears: a made up monster they tell gullible American tourists about to fuck with them.

Parisians loved to elaborate on the fantasy for gullible tourists, saying how, though he had reportedly been destroyed, the body of Eric, the Phantom, had never been found. And that every year, a few unwary tourists to the Opera House disappeared without a trace.

It was typical malicious Parisian humor. Often, the story was accompanied with a breathless attempt to sell bootleg souvenirs such as an authentic map of the catacombs or a page from the score of the Phantom’s infamous lost opera.

Or those little Mickey Mouse paper dolls that supposedly dance to music but are just attached to a motor by an invisible string. My ma fell for that one.

I don’t know if Parisians in real life actually do this, but it wouldn’t surprise me. I hear the Louvre used to give The Da Vinci Code themed tours. This sounds more fun than that, and less soul-crushing.

I admit that I’ve never read The Phantom of the Opera. I saw the play on an elementary school field trip to Broadway, but I barely remember it. I know the book begins with an intro where Leroux claims it’s a true story, but I figured it’s a true story the way The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a true story. I looked it up anyway, just so I don’t look like an uncultured moron if I dismissed it and was wrong. Turns out, the story was inspired by a real incident at the Paris Opera where a chandelier counterweight (not the chandelier itself) fell down and killed someone. There was a crackpot theory at the time that the accident was actually an assassination attempt. That’s something I didn’t know. Guess I owe Weinberg one for getting me to learn something.

Back to the story. Parisians like to use the Phantom to fuck with tourists, but there are other stories they don’t tell them. Stories that poor shopkeepers tell each other behind closed doors like the superstitious European peasant stereotypes they pretend they aren’t. Stories that were handed down from generation to generation about unexplained disappearances plaguing the Île de la Cité (aka the place where the Notre Dame cathedral is).

Common to every narrative was the same name. A title that when said aloud could cause the most elegant Parisian to blanch in terror.

What, Quasimodo’s some kind of French cryptid too? I know the original book character wasn’t as nice as the Disney version, and he’d be an obvious candidate for a Nosferatu (or a Ravnos if you wanna be a dick) but he was hardly-

Phantomas.

Oh. Alright, yeah, different literary character, but I can go along with it.

Officially, the French Sûreté (cops, pigs, po-po, babylon) dismiss such rumors as the insane ramblings of demented poets living on the West Bank. No mention is made of a file, five inches thick, hidden deep in the files of police headquarters. Contained in it are hundreds of reports, dating back a hundred and fifty years to the time of Chief Inspector Vidocq, detailing the circumstances surrounding hundreds of disappearances in the vicinity of the famous cathedral of Notre Dame.

I bet at least one report blames Quasimodo.

One actual report is a six page article, never made public, by a historical commission about the hundreds of myths and legends surrounding the church, all connected by a ghostly figure seen in the Cathedral at night. I’ll give you one guess at what it actually is.

Though he is called by a dozen different names in the tales, he is always described as incredibly ugly. And a drinker of human blood.

Yep. A goddamn mage.

In turn-of-the-century France, the vampire’s name had gained such notoriety that a series of mystery thrillers featuring an arch-fiend called Fantomas became best-sellers. None of the stories explained the origin of the mastermind. Or why he preyed on the citizens of Paris. They were works of fiction, not fact.

In case old French pulp isn’t your thing, Fantomas, spelled with an F, was a character created in 1911 by Marcel Allain and Pierre Souvestre. He’s a master criminal like Arsène Lupin, except instead of a gentleman thief he was a sadistic murderer and Grade-A pure evil bastard. There’s nothing supernatural about Fantomas. He’s just a regular human who’s really good at murder, framing innocent people for said murder, and getting away with it. Apparently, thanks to the 1960′s film trilogy, he’s usually remembered in French pop culture wearing a blue mask that covers his entire head.

You can see how that guy would inspire a Nosferatu character. Also Destro from G.I. Joe.

But as just explained, in this setting it’s the other way around. And despite being portrayed as what the French call “a homicidal piece of shit”, the “real-life” Phantomas is a big fan of the stories.

The subject of these various novels, reports, and studies found them all vastly amusing. He had enjoyed the Fantomas novels immensely and had even sent the author several anonymous letters suggesting future ideas for plots. To his intense disappointment, none of his ideas had ever been used. Once or twice he had mentally debated visiting the novelist to plead his case. But Phantomas suspected his physical appearance might do his cause more harm than good.

That... is goddamn fucking adorable. He’s just been introduced and I already hope he survives the trilogy and discovers online fanfiction.

The vampire readily acknowledged his ugliness. Standing exactly five feet tall, with skin wrinkled as a prune, eyes like raisins, and a nose the size and shape of a sweet potato, he had caused more than one drunken Parisian to swear off red wine forever. A gaping mouthful of yellow teeth and bulging red eyes propelled his face out of the realm of the bizarre into the domain of the grotesque.

Eh. Someone in this fandom would still bang him.

Wait, eyes that were both “like raisins” and “bulging”? How does that work?

Phantomas is the Nosferatu on the cover of the second book of this trilogy, if you want a visual reference.

See, he’s even still got some hair. He’s not that bad looking.

Phantomas might enjoy the fiction he inspired about a murderer, but he’s not happy about being blamed for real murders of innocent people, regarding it as “cheap slander”. The centuries of recorded disappearances were the results of more natural and obvious crimes.

While he occasionally satisfied his thirst on some poor unfortunate, Phantomas rarely killed innocents if it could be avoided. A quiet, gentle soul, all he wanted was to be left alone in his underground lair, pursuing his research.

Over the years a host of villains had used his presence on the Île de la Cité as an alibi for their murders. Their victims ended, not in his hideaway, but dumped in the Seine. Most had escaped the guillotine. However, Phantomas was less forgiving. And his justice was as sharp and final as any blade.

So other than a few accidents, the only people Phantomas “disappeared” were the criminals responsible for the rest of them.

Phantomas isn’t thinking about that dark business right now. He’s feeling great because he’s on his way to a party. The Prince of Paris, one Francois Villon, holds court once a month, and today’s such a day. Villon’s both a Toreador elder and French, so obviously he holds court in the Louvre.

Dozens of Kindred, along with several hundred of the Prince’s favorite ghouls and kine, attended the festivities. This evening the Prince entertained an important Tremere wizard visiting from Vienna. Phantomas loved such events. Though never invited, he never missed one.

There goes my heart, breaking for poor old Phantomas again...

But this time the snub isn’t a case of a Toreador being a snob to a Nosferatu. Villon just doesn’t know Phantomas exists.

The Prince was under the mistaken impression that he was the oldest, most powerful vampire in the City of Lights. He was neither. Phantomas had come to the Île de la Cité with the invading legions of Julius Caesar in 53 B.C.

I should apologize to the French again. Turns out Phantomas isn’t one of you guys. He’s a nice Italian man.

From here we’re launched into Phantomas’ pre-Phantomas backstory. In life he was Varro Dominus (Strong Ruler or Master), a young noble and soldier who worked under Caesar himself, and was in charge of recording his military campaigns. Ceasar’s legions arrived in the Île de la Cité, then called Lutetia, using it as a stepping stone across the Seine. Unfortunately for Varro, living among the easily conquered native tribesmen, pretending to be a forest god, was a fifth-generation Nosferatu named Urgahalt. The invading legions fascinated Urgahalt, what with their military strength, impressive latin names, and neat centurion helmets, and he Embraced Varro so he could introduce him into Roman society.

There’s an obvious flaw in this plan, since it’s difficult for a guy to introduce you to his culture when you’ve just made him an outcast from that culture, turning him into a shriveled prune monster with a sweet potato nose. And Varro knew it too. The Romans, or at least Varro, knew more about Kindred (or lemures, as they called vampires) than Urgahalt realized, including how to kill them. Pissed that bumping into this guy cost him his life and career, Varro staked him in the heart and turned him into a bonfire.

Convincing the legions to take him back would be a hard sell now, so Varro stayed behind on the island, pretty much never leaving during the millennia as modern Paris rose up around the guy.

He was as much a part of the city as the Eiffel Tower.

Which undersells Phantomas quite a bit since the Eiffel Tower’s only been around since 1889, but you get the point.

Turning into an ugly son of a bitch also turned Phantomas into the ultimate introvert, aside from those parties he likes attending. He stays hidden from everyone, including other vampires. Even other Nosferatu.

More than two hundred Kindred inhabited Paris and its suburbs. The Toreador Clan held control of the central city, but several other bloodlines roamed the streets, including rebel bands of Brujah, Gangrel, and Malkavians. Rumors spoke of a Sabbat pack anxious to spread dissension and revolt, with headquarters in the slums. At least a half-dozen Nosferatu lived in lairs beneath major museums and churches [sic] Yet even among the Kindred Phantomas was a legend, an unseen presence with no basis in reality. He was a phantom to the living and the undead.

Good call. If Parisians are like how the opening paragraphs describe them, I wouldn’t want to talk to them either.

In order to stay hidden, Phantomas lives in a huge underground lair hundreds of feet under Notre Dame, connected by a network of tunnels that stretched across Paris. He’s also a master of Obfuscate, the discipline that allows vampires, especially Nosferatu, to go around unnoticed, commonly by turning invisible. Right now, in order to get into the party, Phantomas is using the Mask of a Thousand Faces, the third-tier Obfuscate power that disguises a vampire as a random nobody human or an unimportant vampire, depending on whose looking at him. Looks like it also lets you pretend to hold an invitation and get away with it.

Shortly after midnight, he strolled past the two Assamites guarding the glass pyramid that served as entrance to the Louvre. They nodded without interest as he displayed an imaginary invitation and walked into the main hall.

That pyramid pissed a lot of older Parisians off when it was first built. Yeah, they complain about everything, but since the artsy-fartsy Toreador control the city, you’d think they would’ve prevented its construction. Unless the pyramid’s a Toreador idea, in which case no wonder everyone hated it.

(Parisians are over hating the pyramid these days, so don’t mention it unless you want them to think you’re in their city for one of those Da Vinci Code tours.)

Phantomas muttered a word of thanks to his Roman gods that Villon considered electronic monitoring devices provincial. His psychic camouflage worked flawlessly with humans and vampires. It was useless against cameras or television monitors.

The Louvre doesn’t have any security cameras? None at all?

In Phantomas’ opinion, the Prince was a pompous dandy who wouldn’t recognize true art if it hit him in the face.

Looks like Phantomas agrees with me about Toreador tastes in art.

Master of the Louvre, the finest art collection in history, Villon ignored the treasures of the past for the ephemeral pleasures of the moment.

Alright, In Villon’s defense, I think grandpa here might have some bias.

His mercurial tastes dominated the Parisian fashion scene. He surrounded himself with the most beautiful models in Paris, blood dolls who sipped on blood and dreamed of immortality. Like too many of the Kindred, Villon had never come to terms with his undeath.

I like Phantomas and all, but it’s not Villon sneaking into one of his parties, so what right does he have being judgmental?

But I think I get what Phantomas is thinking. Villon owns one of the most famous historical art museums in the world, but he only cares about celebrity shit and making beautiful but angry-looking women wear weird shit nobody else will actually wear.

The party was being held in the glass-roofed Cour Marley, but Phantomas was in no hurry to go there. Though he had visited the Louvre many times, he never skipped the opportunity to visit the galleries housing the Greek, Roman, and Egyptian antiquities. The museum housed perhaps the finest such collection in the world and, though Phantomas had the face and body of a monster, he possessed the soul of a poet.

This is the real reason he loves these parties so much, isn’t it. Grandpa just wants an excuse to visit the museum for like the billionth time.

Ten minutes he spent staring at the Venus de Milo.

Art appreciation, or the closest he gets to seeing boobs?

He walks around admiring other things, like “Winged Victory of Samothrace”, “Winged Bull”, and the statue of Queen Nefertiti.

The bust of Agrippa drew him to the Roman section. The famous general, the hero of Actium, had served Octavius, the grandnephew of his mentor, Julius Caesar. Staring at the statue made him feel old. Two thousand years separated him from his heritage.

I feel the same way whenever I meet someone born after Spongebob Squarepants first aired.

If not for a chance encounter in Gaul, his children might have fought against Mark Anthony. Or served in the Senate with Cicero.

Not if you stared at potential mothers the way you stared at the Venus de Milo and Agrippa’s bust.

He finishes his tour and finally heads to the party. If you’ve been paying attention to the plot, you know what’s about to happen.

As he drew closer to the courtyard, he frowned. There was no music. Villon’s parties always featured a loud rock band playing the latest hits. Tonight, the corridors were strangely silent.

Nirvana was supposed to play “About a Girl” but Villon kicked them out when Cobain let his turtles wander around and shit everywhere.

A tall, young man slender [sic], with blond hair and bright blue eyes, stood in front of the door leading to the Cour Marley. Dressed in a white suit with an open-necked white shirt, he nodded in greeting as Phantomas approached. It was almost as if he had been waiting for [sic] there for him.

Weinberg’s editor must’ve quit before getting to this chapter, after reading the part about Flavia’s rock hard leather-penetrating nipples. Also, ‘sup Reuben? What’ve you been doing the past two years?

Reuben doesn’t introduce himself. He just warns Phantomas not to go in. Phantomas is shocked that a human is talking to him at all. Mask of a Thousand Faces is supposed to disguise him as someone so boring not even Kindred are interested starting a conversation with him

“The Final Death waits inside,” continued the stranger, evidently not troubled by Phantomas’ concerns. “If you enter, you may never leave.”

“I am no coward,” stated the vampire simply. “After twenty centuries, I fear very little.”

Let’s see if that lasts longer than a page.

The young man smiled. “I suspected you would say that.” He stepped to the side. “Beware the Red Death, Phantomas.”

“Who are you?” asked Phantomas, startled. “How do you know my name?”

But the stranger had vanished. It was as if he had never been there.

Good old Reuben, scaring an old man, the trolling bastard.

Successfully freaked out, Phantomas opens the courtyard doors. To no one’s surprise, everyone’s dead. Even the regular non-ghoul humans.

The smell of charred and blackened human flesh assaulted his nostrils. A horrified glance around the courtyard revealed a dozen bodies of Villon’s favorites, their beautiful features burned beyond recognition. The fashion runways of Paris would be missing a number of familiar faces tomorrow. Mixed among the dead were the remains of twice as many ghouls. Nowhere was there life.

How he’s able to tell the models and ghouls apart, I don’t know.

Villon was gone. As were all other Kindred. However, dark shadows on the ground indicated to Phantomas that more than one had departed the Louvre permanently.

Can the French art and fashion worlds finally recover from the dark and untalented reign of the Toreador?

As if in answer to Phantomas’ unasked question, a gruesome figure stepped from behind the Marly Horses. Tall and lean, he wore a rotted shroud of funeral cloth held together by strips of moldering bandage [sic]. His face was

-that of a long-dead corpse, chalk-white skin, blah blah blah it’s the Red Death.

Slowly, the monster smiled.

“The meddling record keeper,” said the Red Death. He stretched out a skeletal arm. Phantomas could feel the heat thirty feet away. “Your termination will be a fitting conclusion to the celebration.”

Confronted by this horrifying fire monster who just massacred an entire party of vampires, ghouls, and humans, what does the famous Phantomas do? Something that both proves him a hypocrite and the smartest person in this goddamn book.

He hauls ass out of there.

Hundreds of years hiding beneath the streets of Paris had taught Phantomas an important lesson. When threatened, flee. Immediately. Don’t search for alternative solutions, don’t negotiate, don’t look back. Run as fast as possible until you reach safety. It was a basic survival technique that worked in the past. It served him tonight.

Phantomas ran. He burst through the doors of the Cour Marley, raced down the halls leading to the glass pyramid, and sprinted out into the night air without turning his head once to see if he was followed. Short and misshapen, he ran astonishingly fast.

Phantomas doesn’t stop running until he’s safely hundreds of feet underground in one of his tunnels. He escaped the Red Death.

He had escaped for the moment. But Phantomas felt certain he had not seen the last of the monster.

It had named him the record keeper. Somehow it knew of his great project. And the Red Death obviously disapproved.

We’ll find out more about Phantomas’ hobby the next time we catch up with him. For now, Chapter 6 ends on that mystery.

#vampire the masquerade #vampire: the masquerade #vtm #vtmb #world of darkness #blood war

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jamesniall · 7 years ago

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Answer them all haha

do you have a favourite sweater? idk i think it’s more a hoodie than a sweater lmao but yes it’s a disney one, with mickey’s ears and it’s kind of lilac and it’s soft and warm and i love it

what’s your middle name? paola :/

do you still talk to the first person you kissed? if u mean like, a kiss on the lips...i have never done that and i never ever will

do you get on with your grandpa`? i did :( my mom’s father was the best person i’ve ever ever ever met and i miss him so much everyday

what was your favourite cartoon as a kid? rugrats omfkg

what’s your favourite cartoon now? i dont watch them anymore tbh i dont watch tv anymore

do you read the news paper? sometimes, when things happen but it’s not a thing i dutifully do everyday nope

who was the last text you sent to ? my sister

what does the last text you sent say? ‘thanks u asshole’ lmao

if you could have any hair colour what would it be? i dont think i’d ever change my hair color tbh i dont think i’d look good in anything other than black

do you like nature documentaries? yeeeeess

what is your aesthetic? i....dont think i have one tbh....this is a very especific thing but i like concert pics where the artist looks tiny and u can see the crowd and the lights and the stage and it’s in HQ and i can set it up as a wallpaper lmao

when did you last pet a dog? like 2 minutes ago :’)

whose friend’s parents do you like the most? i dont have any friends in real life so i dont know anyone’s parents

have you ever been on a road trip? eehhhh yeah kind of? we used to go to a lil town called ‘anapoima’ and it was a 2 hour trip.....that’s it

tell me about someone you know called emma in real life? u dont find emmas in colombia so idk

are you reading a book in english class, what is it? im not taking an english class like the one you’re probably talking about but i am reading a book, well, re reading tbh, the all for the game series by nora sakavic 10000/10 would recommend

do you have a favourite aunt? yes, sorta, my aunt marta, she used to be my fave and #funfact she was the only one who could get me to sleep when i was a baby but she has her own kids now and we see each other like once a year so yeah idk

baths or showers? i have never in my life taken a bath so i’ll have to go with showers.....also i kind of dont understand how baths work??? do u just....sit there with soapy water??? how do u get the soapy water off??? with a shower??? i dont see the point of baths i have actually never seen a bathtub in my life

skiing or sun bathing? i’ve never done either of those so idk....also i hate the sun bc i get sunburnt in 2 minutes and skiing it’s basically impossible in a city where snow it’s...not a thing....so yeah

do you kill spiders? I WISH I COULD, that sounds mean but i hate spiders i know they are harmless and most of the time they are more scared than i am but i just cant physically get close to a spider, they scare me so fucking much i cant ever kill them so they always run away and i live with the endless anxiety of ‘where are they now? do i have lil baby spiders living with me now?’

have you ever made an ice pop? im not quite sure what an ice pop is so im gonna pretend it’s like...making a paleta so yeah i have

are you wearing shoes right now? nope, just fluffy socks

tell me about you favourite primary school/elementary school teacher i didnt have one

who was the last person you hugged? i havent hugged anyone in literal months so i dont remember

do you wear glasses? nope

do you have a cat? nope

do you have a favourite pair of underwear? yep

what was your last tweet? a response to niall’s knee tweet: lmaaaao this is the most me thing ever. did 20 minutes of cardio last tuesday and my knee's achey and swollen. also my hip hurts.

do you still use facebook? ehhh....kind of. to see what my high school ppl are up to i guess

do you like birds? yeah they’re cute

who was the last person you called cute? ......the birds of the question before this one? does that count? if not, probably my dog.

who was the last person that called you cute? idk it was probably years ago

how did you meet your best friend? i dont have a best friend

escalators or elevators? it depends, there are days when elevators give me anxiety so i’d go with stairs then, but there are days my knees hurt a lot so i’d go with elevators then

are you named after anyone, who? nope

what was your first url? horan-nialler lmao

autumn or winter? idk i have never been through those

do you win at scrabble? ....i have never played scrabble

put your ipod on shuffle , who is the first song that comes up by? slow hands by niall horan lmao go listen to it on spotify and buy it on itunes

have you ever drunk from a mason jar? what is a jason bar?

can you draw? i can try

what was your first profile picture?i dont remember lmao

favourite tshirt? dont have one

best tumblr friend? i probably dont have one tbh

when did you last run? in my cardio class last tuesday

do you like to paint your nails? not really

did you ever do something as a kid that got you into loads of trouble? not smth super big that i remember

who is your favourite dog that isn’t yours? i only know by lil baby dog

have you ever been drunk? nope

have you ever done something you regret while drunk? go back to question 50

do you want to kiss anyone right now? nope. never. digusting.

do/did you like you math teacher? nope

do you often ride the bus? e v e r y d a y

do you have a fireplace in your house? nope and if i did i’d move out

are you violent when you’re angry? nope

do you cry when you’re angry? ehhh...nope, i’d have to be way too angry and even then im just quiet

favourite Harry potter book? i havent read the books, just the movies

can you remember your last dream? yep, it was more of a nightmare tbh

do you go to bed early or late? depends if u consider 3-4am late or early

do you speak a second language? yes

who was your first ever best friend? i have never had a best friend

have you ever had an operation? yep, a tooth

tell me about your favourite cousin i dont have one

do you have a piece of clothing that doesn’t even fit you anymore but you can’t bare to throw away? nope

have you ever been in a musical? nope

do you have a porch? nope

how many times have you watched your favourite movie?like 1 million probably

what do you order at mcdonalds? idk how to say this in english so: un combo de cuarto de libra con coca cola sin hielo y papas agrandadas

do you get on with old people? yeah i’d like to think so

science fiction or romance? a romance in a sci fi universe

do you take naps? nope but i wish i could

how many classes do you/did you take in high-school? like 20

when did it last snow where you live? it has never snowed but with the weather as it is i wouldnt be surprised if it started snowing one day bc climate change it’s a real and scary thing

does it ever snow where you live? see question before this one

how many months until your birthday? 2 i think

how much charge does your computer have right now? 100%

what is your favourite disney channel movie? hsm

the city or the sea side? sea side even tho i’ve only seen the sea once in my life

what is your least favourite colour? yellow

do you have homework to do? yes my thesis lmao

are you still friends with your first best friend?

do you have/are you the gay cousin? i am the gay cousin

do you own dungarees? nope, but i did when i was like 10

do you like to play sport? nO

what was your favourite ever christmas present? a polaroid camera

how old are you? 21

what is your mum’s name? angela but in spanish so anhela lmao

do you ever use internet explorer? nope

have you ever had blonde hair? NO

is their a play park near your house? yes but it’s a scary place, u go there, u get mugged

when did you last see the person you have a crush on? i saw niall horan on the 25 of april 2014 (im kidding i dont even have a crush on niall idk what a crush is tbh)

who did you last talk to on the phone? my uncle maybe

pants or dresses? pants

do you read fan fiction? it’s all i do

what is you’re favourite blog? @dailyniall

do you write poetry? nope

drama or comedy? drama, i love angst

have you ever had a hickey? no ew

Your own question that you want me to answer is niall horan coming to colombia on 2018? he fucking better

woooooooooow that was a ride odngkjdfg lmao THANK U that was fun!

#Anonymous

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thekimmiandjackieshow · 7 years ago

Text

My Day on Main Street.

Main Street, U.S.A. It’s what many Disney fans think of when they think of visiting the parks. Whether guests visit the west coast or the east coast, they will definitely take a stroll down Main Street, one of the most magical streets on Earth. Just under the train tracks at Walt Disney World is the not-so-subtle scent of Disney’s famous popcorn. Guests on one side are rushing into City Hall to get their celebration buttons and park recommendations. Guests on the other side are rushing into the theater to meet Mickey Mouse or Tinkerbell. Right on the corner, where the Town Square ends and Main Street begins, sits the famous Emporium. On the other side sit a variety of shops from a classic confectionary to the famous ice cream parlor. The walk down Main Street turns very sweet as smells of freshly made caramel apples and fudge waft into the air. At the end of Main Street, to the left, sits Casey’s Corner. To the right, Plaza Ice Cream Parlor. Depending on which way the wind is blowing, one can smell hot salted fries and hot dogs, or perfect waffle cones. The street is bustling with guests and upbeat instrumentals throughout the entire day, greeting guests the way they’ve been greeted since Magic Kingdom first opened their gates. Of course, just beyond the quick service restaurant and ice cream parlor, is the hub grass, creating a perfect garden that sits in front of the magnificently tall Cinderella Castle.

As the day rolls on, parade performers will dance down the street, characters will take to the stage right in front of the castle, the fireworks will signify the end of the night, and the final Kiss Goodnight will light up the castle and thank guests for another magical day.

It’s no wonder that so many Cast Members love working on Main Street. While it has its own challenges, working the shops of Main Street sounded like one of the most magical places a Cast Member could work. So obviously, I had to try it out for myself.

I had been hesitant about picking up a shift at the Emporium. Famous for being “the shop that had it all” and “the one stop shop for Disney merchandise”, it was arguably the busiest store on property, if not second only to World of Disney in Disney Springs. I had gotten so used to Animal Kingdom that I was worried I’d be overwhelmed by the Emporium. My roommate from the spring happened to work there though, and insisted it wasn’t that bad. Sure enough, a shift fell into my lap and I knew I had to take it.

My shift was a midday shift, so parking at the Magic Cast lot was awful. I parked in a spot near a lake I had never seen before and walked towards costuming. The Emporium costume was easy to find - one of the perks of being such a large store with so many Cast Members. It also helped that I had been in Magic Kingdom costuming several times before for the other shifts I had picked up. The accessory bin in the middle of costuming held the clip on tie I needed, and I was soon on my way. This costume was one of my favorites. While most costumes went perfectly with the theme of the land, most of them were also uncomfortable and fairly unflattering. The Emporium costume is pretty cute for what it is though, looks good on almost everybody, and is comfortable. Though I bet people who have to stock in a skirt are less than thrilled about that. I went into the tunnels, changed into the costume, and took the straight shot beneath the castle to Main Street.

Finding the doors to the Emporium made me a little nervous. It wasn't that it was difficult to find, but I was worried that I’d open a random door and find myself on stage. I found my way to two large swinging doors at the top of a staircase, but the sign on it said to be sure you were 100% stage ready before going in. I still hadn't found the lockers yet. I walked back down the stairs and a few signs led me to the Main Street breakroom. Lockers sat directly across from that - the type where you punch in your own code to lock it. A few Main Street Cast Members were standing there, throwing things in their locker and putting their name tags on, so I figured I was in the right place. Back to the double doors I went. I thought that even if I had ended up on stage in the middle of the Emporium, I could ask somebody for directions to CDS (where I was meant to clock in). It turned out that the double doors led only to a small stock room with a CDS computer and a shelf where coordinators were planning their day. The CDS corner had a few Cast Members awkwardly shifting their weight back and forth, all wearing skirts that fell at different lengths, who were nervously making conversation with each other. They were all EHH too.

I imagine that a place as big as the Emporium always has EHH Cast Members awkwardly roaming around. Even our small DAK location had a few EHH come in each day. A small paper just above CDS told us to talk to a coordinator right after clocking in and before getting an assignment. There was so much to take in though, that our entire small group missed this memo and picked up an assignment.

Cast Members go to CDS frequently throughout their shift to “get assignments”. What it means is that a computer software program has the preset information that determines what position needs to be filled at any given time. A coordinator can add or take away these presets to fill need on-demand. It’s also the system that gives cast their breaks or “bump outs” (for clocking out at the end of their shift).

A stressed out coordinator turned around and told us we all should have waited. I guess it’s one of those things that seems obvious to the people that are there all the time, but we were all new and all taking everything in. To us, it was just another piece of paper amongst all the other notices surrounding CDS. He rearranged our assignments so that other Cast Members didn’t miss their breaks and assigned us all to a meeting with him. He printed out brochures welcoming us to the Emporium and had information we’d need throughout our shift. It included an actual map of the Emporium with a key stating what merchandise was where. That was the moment I started to feel overwhelmed. Then he assigned each of us a Cast Member to give us a tour of the shop and explain some of the things we’d definitely need to know.

The Emporium, of course, had some themed language. This was one of my favorite parts about picking up shifts in other places. Animal Kingdom Strollers didn’t tend to have any themed language. Breaks were breaks, registers were just registers, stacking and prepping strollers was just stack/unstack, etc. Themed language made a huge difference for me. It was, to me, (at least in part) what set Disney apart from other places. It was what helped remind Cast Members that they were more than Merchandise Cast Members, they were part of a story. While some assignments in the Emporium were just assignments, going to the bathroom and going on break had code phrasing. Even things as small as that made the job more fun.

My shift started out in one of the large rooms, the one with high ceilings and tall windows. I couldn’t begin to tell you what zone that was, but there I was, ringing guests out left and right. It was mid afternoon, so the store was slow. A guest occasionally asked me where something was, but another Cast Member was always there to walk the guest directly to the item. I stood in one spot, behind the register, until my next assignment.

It wasn’t long before Festival of Fantasy passed by our windows. The store emptied out to uplifting FOF music, and nearby Cast Members started to hum along as they cleaned up the store. Maleficent stretched her head high above the crowd to breathe fire, and I watched her amaze guests from the tall windows in the room. The Emporium was quickly becoming my favorite place to work.

After the parade, a small rush of people popped into the store. I rang a few guests out back to back, managing the line with another Cast Member on register next to me. A few guests bought an extraordinary amount of souvenirs, while other guests spilled out their pocket change for one last Mickey Mouse keychain for their fully decked out kid. The line dissipated quickly though, and I was once again in awe of Emporium’s efficiency. See, at Animal Kingdom Main Entrance, the person at registers is never JUST the person at registers. They are also the people wandering the store floor to make sure that everybody is finding everything they need. They are the ones tidying up the store to make sure things are in their proper place. They are the ones checking the back for a different sized shirt because the ONE stocker is either on break or is working the cart across the way. They are the ones manning the ENTIRE store. The store is small, but it does sometimes get filled with people, and when it does, there aren’t a lot of Cast Members to get things done. It often leaves the person at register running around the place quite a bit. This also happens at the actual strollers location towards the end of the night. One person is checking people out, collecting strollers/wheelchairs/ECV’s, refunding ECV deposits, collecting locker keys, maintaining the package pick up service, and trying to wish guests one last “wild night” before they leave Animal Kingdom. This might be manageable if guests all stood in one single-file line and waited for assistance, but the reality is that guests are approaching the garage area with their strollers and such while folks waiting to check out hang out by the registers. It’s doable with the right energy and attitude, but picking up a shift at the Emporium made me realize that other locations are well-staffed. Sure they’re busier for a larger percentage of the working day, but it means that each Cast Member is purely responsible for their one job. They trust that the other Cast Members will do their part, so they can do their’s. My assignment was to be on registers, whether a guest was there or not. I stood in one place the entire time. It felt unusual.

Throughout the day I was moved to various rooms. I worked in the princess area for a while and sorted charms. When I got my slip for my “tea” (my break), I was given a 30 minute break. I thought it was a mistake but apparently six and a half hour shifts warrant 30 minute breaks in Magic Kingdom. At Animal Kingdom, six hour shifts = 15 minute break. As I was hanging out in the Magic Kingdom break room, I ran into my old coordinator. He transferred to Magic Kingdom for parade audience control, but had been one of my favorite coordinators at DAK. We talked briefly before I went back upstairs. Shortly after that, I took another 15 minute tea. I felt like I hadn’t even worked at all but there I was, on another break. I spent it talking to a girl who worked outdoor food vending on Main Street before going back upstairs.

The rest of my day was very casual. I worked at different registers in different rooms. I made acquaintances with the other Cast Members during the slow periods. I hummed along to the princess music in the princess room, up until a little guest pulled on my skirt to ask me if I was a princess. And then, before I knew it, my carriage had arrived and my day was over. Typically at DAK, Cast Members can receive a “bump out” 15 minutes or less before their shift is over. It’s meant to give the Cast Member time to wrap up what they’re doing with the guest they’re working with before walking back to the register to clock out. At Magic Kingdom though, Cast Members are allowed to clock out a few minutes early and still get paid as though they clocked out at the end of their shift to account for the time it takes to get back to their car. This means that bump outs happen even earlier than they usually would.

I clocked out, but I felt surprised that the day was already over. Between the tour of the Emporium, the 30 minute break and the 15 minute break, and the early bump out, it felt as though I hadn’t even worked. Staying in one position and only being responsible for that one job was also far less exhausting to me. I looked at my phone to see how many steps I had taken during my shift.

6,000.

My norm for a 6.5 hour shift at Animal Kingdom was roughly 15-18,000.

Now I’m not saying a job at the Emporium is easier than a job at DAK. I know it has drawbacks that I didn’t experience. But I was surprised to find that it was so well organized and so well staffed that I didn’t need to do a million things at once. All I had to do was focus on the guest in front of me, and that made for more memorable conversations and more magical moments.

I walked through the tunnels and back to the shuttle. At that moment, I was so grateful to be a Cast Member. I imagined all the people that dreamed of the day they would get to watch Festival of Fantasy from the window of their workplace before clocking out and making the walk in the infamous tunnels beneath the castle. I thought about all the people who were on Main Street, getting ready to watch the fireworks and thinking about how they never wanted to leave Walt Disney World. I thought about all the people, still at home, applying over and over again to be part of the college program. The simple magic of the Emporium and the fantastic leaders there made me want to continue being a Cast Member for as long as I could. I wished that I felt that way more often as I boarded my bus back to my car.

As I stepped off the shuttle at the Cast parking lot, I realized I had parked in such a hurry that I didn’t really know where I had parked. All I had remembered was that it was by some body of water. I spent the next while trying to find it, and managed to catch some of Wishes as I searched. It made me miss home. It made me miss the days where I would walk back to the Cast parking lot at Disneyland after a shift in Downtown Disney during the fireworks. Although the fireworks at Disneyland are much closer to the cars, so all the car alarms would be blaring and all that could be heard was the sound of cars going haywire and booming fireworks. I did miss home, but I was happy to be where I was. The Emporium was a magical place, and I wish I got the chance to work there more.

#mainstreet #mainstreetusa #disney #waltdisneyworld #wdw #merchandisecastmember #merchandisecp #collegeprogram #disneycollegeprogram #dcp #disneyprograms #commons #emporium #magickingdom #florida #orlando #castmember

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amorremanet · 8 years ago

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“chris & phichit’s excellent adventure”

a.k.a, “the transcontinental road trip AU where, a few years in the future, chris and phichit go on the hunt to find vitya’s missing blood family and bring them to the viktuuri wedding.” for #yoiweek2017 day five: stay close to me — option b: bonds/friendship.

(and sneaks in tags for @sikenesque @fighthaus & @pocketlass for reasons)

featuring hijinks and shenanigans, including but not limited to (not even remotely in order):

“how did you even find intel, chris??” // “oh, my future father-in-law has a soft spot for romance and touching family reunions, he helped me out. also, he specializes in finding missing persons for INTERPOL.”

“so, why don’t we just let INTERPOL handle this? like, they have the resources, don’t they?”

“because they’re a police organization? all the rumors about viktor’s blood family being in organized crime are ridic, they’re not even credible enough for gossip bloggers to dignify their existence anymore. INTERPOL has no reason to be involved, my future father-in-law just did me a favor.”

“okay, that makes sense… plus, i mean? if you think about it, it’d probably mean a lot more to viktor and yuuri if we got viktor’s family to the wedding ourselves. found family uniting blood family and all that, right? :D”

“blanket rule: no selfies while we’re on the trip, viktor and yuuri might figure out what we’re up to.”

“won’t they figure out that we’re up to something when they realize that both of the best men have gone missing?” // “nah, i got it covered. :D”

literally the full extent of christophe’s alleged “plan” here is, “make my beautiful bae thierry run interference to keep the grooms-to-be-distracted. he’s in government, he is experienced at finding ways to waste people’s time. then, when i get home, make it up to him that i asked for so much important help, and then have dinner and a gold-medal romantic marriage proposal, awwww yiss.”

having to call on leo for help at some point in the states, bc phichit has never needed to learn how to drive, and chris has a license but he hasn’t driven in ages and he’s used to everything being on the other side of the road, what the hell is this, why is everything in america backwards

“i’m sorry for chris, leo. trying to drive the rental car back in detroit messed him up a little, thank you for giving us a ride ♡”

“THE ROADS MADE NO SENSE, THERE WERE POTHOLES AND BROKEN CEMENT ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE, THE PEOPLE WERE MEAN TO ME, AND EVERYTHING WAS BACKWARDS!!!”

“……right. yeah, it’s no problem, phichit. i was gonna call you today anyway, you’ve been quiet on social media since the thing in munich, i was getting worried. ♡”

a scooby doo-esque chase scene through the louvre, arising from a misunderstanding between chris and a belgian tourist who looked kinda like the last confirmed photo of viktor’s blood mother (in his defense, it’s a very bad photo and the poor tourist did look kinda like viktor’s mother)

“we’re way ahead of schedule, phichit! we have enough time to go out tonight! besides, we’re gonna meet a contact!” — *spongebob announcer voice* SEVERAL HOURS LATER……

“ugh, phichit, come on. our contact probably isn’t showing up by now and this mountain goat guy’s music sucks…… uh. ……phichit? *to the bartender, showing her a picture on his phone* ……hey, have you seen this guy? he came in with me a few hours ago? he’s about this tall *mimes with his hand*, really cute, probably trying to take selfies with everybody?”

bartender: “oh yeah, he headed for the stage while you were arguing with that other patron about whether or not that russian skater guy deserves to be called a living legend—”

“well, what else are you supposed to do when someone insults your best friend’s honor and also his skating”

bartender: “right, well. have fun trying to elbow your way through a bunch of enraptured john darnielle fans to get your cute friend back. :)”

chris does not have fun trying to do this. phichit doesn’t appreciate chris trying to yank him out of the pit in the middle of j.d. playing, “this year,” like?? what the hell, chris!

chris still thinks that the weirdo in the glasses can’t actually sing or play his guitar and also his songs suck. phichit makes him wait by the stage door for an autograph and a selfie anyway.

“you can’t even post it anywhere or this will all go belly-up again ffs WHY”

“because the mountain goats, chris!!! THAT’S why!”

having to call on jj and isabella for help in montreal, bc as the adventure winds down and brings them to canada, they still can’t drive but they are too close to finding vitya’s family to give up now just because chris finds jj insufferable

“seung-gil? this is isabella and jj’s place, uh? not to be rude but… why are YOU here? with your dog?”

“*shrugs* spending time with my best friend and our boyfriend. what are you doing here, phichit. and with giacometti?”

“would you believe that chris and i are on a transcontinental hunt for viktor’s long-lost family who might be involved in organized crime or something, thanks to a series of tips that started with chris’s future father-in-law who works for INTERPOL i guess, and we’ve been all over the world, looking for the long-lost nikiforovs so they can come to viktor and yuuri’s wedding?”

“*headtilts at phichit, then eyebrow arches at chris, who is faceplanted and sacked out on the couch* ……well, i believe that jj would believe that and let you two stay here for a while.”

“*sighs and takes chris’s phone out of his jacket pocket, borrows his thumb to get past the lock, and shows seung-gil some of the intel that’s been guiding them on their search* ……i feel like i should say something witty? but i’m tired and jetlagged, so… please substitute something witty in here for me?”

“*eyebrow arches at chris’s phone and then up at phichit* ……why on earth would you two do all of this instead of just buying katsuki and nikiforov a honeymoon in the bahamas or something?”

“………that. um. ………………that literally never occurred to us?”

“literally never?”

“and we thought it’d be sweeter and more personal to find viktor’s family???”

“*whistles, sighs, then gets up and points at the guest bed* get some sleep, phichit. you look like you’re going to need it. *waits for phichit to lie down, then coaxes his husky up into the bed to go snuggle phichit. because seung-gil likes phichit, so phichit gets dog-snuggles. and none for christophe giacometti, bye.*”

chris doesn’t make arrangements for them in rome bc he expects to be able to call on sara and sleep on her couch, but she, mickey, and emil are already at the wedding when chris and phichit get there.

(sara is there as mila’s plus-one, and yuuri invited emil, who brought mickey as his plus-one.)

so, without any planned accommodations in rome, chris and phichit go looking for either a room or maybe some of the leads they’re supposed to be finding (hey, it’s not that late).

a few wrong turns and oddball miscommunications, exacerbated by their very questionable italian, later… and they’ve found their way to a fancy dinner party being hosted by a distinguished professor of art history and the classics, who has family ties to organized crime.

(their bags get stashed in one of the guest rooms, based on the assumption that they’ll be staying the night.)

people at the party keep asking phichit if he’s the professor’s mysterious sicilian protégé whom they’ve heard about but never met, and at first, phichit is trying to find it as amusing as he can when he can’t post selfies with people after clearing up the misidentification.

after a while, though, enough people have done it that he’s really frustrated because??? what the HELL??? he is THAI, not sicilian??? how are you people even getting sicilian when he knows that his italian is other-than-good???

also, not to be immodest, but phichit just won silver at the winter olympics in pyeongchang, like?? that was just last year??? were his performances really that forgettable????

finally, phichit tries to drag chris away from charming a group of pretty, eager graduate students with an anecdote about some holiday in ibiza that is like 85% made up, and in his indignation at everything going on today, phichit shouts at chris that they need to get back on the hunt for the nikiforovs!!!

*record scratch sound effect!*

this gets them dragged back into a very well-furnished study to have a chat with the professor, his younger brother, and their older sister because oh no, did you say nikiforov :|

turns out that the professor’s family definitely knew the nikiforovs and it’s some kind of complicated mess, and there is some serious miscommunication that briefly makes them think that chris and phichit are the cutest but most ineffective hitmen ever.

once this is cleared up, they are given intel on where to go looking for the nikiforovs on the condition that they leave rome by dawn. they get on the first train out of the city without even caring where it goes.

after a series of unfortunate transfers and sleeping through the stops where they initially planned to get off, they end up in munich. this would be awesome if they were on holiday, but it’s really not where they want to be for the sake of hunting for viktor’s family.

moreover, it’s kinda troublesome because phichit really does have a lot of fans after his big win in pyeongchang — more than he did beforehand, even, which says a lot because he’s had a lot of fans since his instagram started getting attention and got a huge rush of them after he made the cut for the sochi winter olympics.

but he has an especially huge fan club in germany for reasons he doesn’t entirely understand but also isn’t arguing with because omg yay, hi new friends, phichit wants to meet all of you and be your friend for real!!! (how sad is phichit that he’s banned from posting selfies right now? VERY SAD, that is how sad he is)

chris also has a pretty big fan club in germany, and when they show up in munich, he’s wearing the t-shirt one of his german fans designed for him that says, “bigger than hasselhoff” with fanart of chris in his free skate outfit from the sochi olympics (and hey, phichit, it’s not just you who’s upset about the blanket selfie-ban right now, but there’s a reason that you and chris agreed to this)

either way, they run into one of their fans while trying to scope out a café where they can get breakfast (“one that isn’t at the damned train station, phichit. ew, we have time enough to go find better food”) — and while the three of them share breakfast, chris and phichit take a few selfies with him without even thinking that their fan might post it anywhere. which he does.

the selfies end up on instagram, facebook, snapchat, and tumblr — never mind the tweets he posts alerting the fanclubs that chris and phichit are in munich, apparently doing nothing of interest (or maybe looking for someone who knows viktor nikiforov? they weren’t very clear on that).

you know those iconic scenes from a hard day’s night where the screaming fangirls chase the beatles around london?

yeeeeeah, uh.

chris and phichit are going to get chased around munich by screaming fans of all genders. if this were a movie, there would be a shot of them booking it through the main square at marienplatz — like, right in front of the mariensäule and fischbrunnen — scaring the other people and the pigeons as they desperately attempt to get away from the throng of fans behind them.

there would probably be another shot of them running from fans in front of the hofbräuhaus am platzl. because in the movies, you have to showcase the most well-known landmarks. it’s like how you can’t have paris in a movie without showing off the eiffel tower, just so everybody knows that we’re in paris.

they try to hide in different shops and on a bus. they try running into the englischer garten because, with an area of 910 acres, they figure that it should be big enough to hide in (but there are fans there already, shit).

they run out, hide on another bus, and try to go to the tierpark hellabrunn, which is going well until they get comfortable and take a selfie in front of the tigers, and phichit at-tags yurio in it.

for one thing, this tells most of the fans that chris and phichit are at the zoo, looking at tigers and it alerts the fans who are already there because chris unzipped his jacket to show off his shirt and they both pulled down the coverings on their mouths.

for another thing, yurio doesn’t actually appreciate being tagged by either of the best men after he was told (by thierry) that chris and phichit wouldn’t be on social media while away on their adventure (so please, please, please help them out by not telling viktor what they’re doing, and help thierry keep it secret from him and yuuri, please?)

he especially doesn’t appreciate phichit trying to be nice to him and acting like they’re friends by going, “omg yurio, it you” — like, okay. by now, yuri has mostly given up on fighting his nickname. it hasn’t gone away and yuri’s angels have even started using it, but stop being NICE to him, phichit. it’s WEIRD. (also, “it you” on a picture of a tiger, that’s so funny, he forgot to laugh. :|)

so, not only do the fans notice them and resume the chase, but yurio forwards the selfie to thierry, who is other than impressed that chris and phichit have broken the, “no selfies so viktor and yuuri don’t figure out what we’re doing” rule

like, okay, the first one? thierry can understand that. they were tired and hungry and it’s not like they told the random guy at the café not to post selfies because they couldn’t figure out how to do it without spilling the whole story — but the second one, though??

chris, what the hell

thierry loves you but he is trying SO HARD!!! to keep viktor and yuuri from finding out what’s going on and you’re posting selfies with phichit like you swore that you wouldn’t because the selfies would make thierry’s job harder, why are you doing this

and rather than hang up on his boyfriend while the bae is being understandably upset with him, chris tries to apologize and explain the situation while he and phichit are still running from the fan squad

after a while of this: “……uh, chris?”

chris: “*talking quickly, periodically punctuated by heavy breathing* what? i love you, i swear i was listening, you were saying that i’m being irresponsible and—”

“thank you for proving that you were listening, which i was going to trust you about actually, but why does it sound like you can’t breathe???”

chris: “i’m fine!!! i swear, bae!! keep talking, i don’t want to interrupt or anything, i love!!! listening to you taaaalk — ack!!! *sounds vaguely strangled*”

phichit: “*grabbed chris by his shirt and jacket collars to keep him from running out into moving traffic and drag him around a corner instead*”

chris: “i’m fine, bae! keep talking!”

“you don’t sound fine…”

chris: “no, i am!!! i am totally fine! so you were saying about me!! and phichit!! being irresponsible!!! and making your life harder!!! and you really don’t appreciate it because you’re trying so hard to help keep the secret from vitya and sleeping beauty!!! and you’re so good about everything! and so smart!!! and i don’t wanna!! tell you that you’re sexy!!! because i tell you all the time and i know you feel like sometimes i’m just saying it!!! to get out of trouble!! or out of telling you other compliments!!!!”

“chris what in the world is going on because i do not believe for a second that you and phichit are actually fine right now”

chris: “NO I’M FINE JUST LIKE YOUR BUTT!! oh shit, i’m sorry bae!!! that wasn’t appropriate while you’re upset!!! with us for being irresponsible!!!”

“chris stop trying to act like you’re fine, i don’t feel like this is helping and—”

chris: “BAE EVERYTHING IS PERFECTLY FINE WHY WOULD IT NOT BE THAT’S FUNNY YOU’RE SO FUNNY I’M—”

“christophe sebastian giacometti, stop lying to me and give the phone to phichit right. now. :|”

chris: “*groans and whines about how he doesn’t want to give the phone to phichit but does anyway*”

phichit: “hi, thierry! we’re okay!! we’re in munich!!”

“yes, phichit, i saw the selfie. it was very cute, the current situation notwithstanding.”

phichit: “aww thanks!! you’re so cool, thierry! to appreciate the cuteness of the selfie even when you’re mad at us! :D”

“……right. phichit, what in the world is going on, why does neither of you sound like you can breathe.”

phichit: “oh, nothing much! same thing that’s been happening all day! it’s no big deal!!!”

“um. neither of you being able to breathe sounds like a very big deal to me, actually???”

phichit: “but we can so breathe!! it’s just harder because we’re running! like, literally running! have been all day, almost!!”

“why on earth have you been literally running around munich all day”

phichit: “we got on a couple of buses!!!”

“that doesn’t really answer my question…… :/”

phichit: “okay, we’re running from some fans!!!”

“wait what”

phichit: “they started showing up!! after that nice guy from the café!!! posted his selfies with us this morning!!!!”

“you are running through the streets of munich…… pursued by enthusiastic skating fans?”

phichit: “yeah, it’s like we’re the beatles!! but cuter and figure skaters and there are only two of us!!!”

“um, why did chris answer his phone in the first place if that’s the case”

phichit: “because he loves you and knew you’d probably be mad about the selfies!! and he wanted to apologize!!! because yeah, that was totally not a good move on our part!!! and he was all like, ‘it’s fair for him to be mad, i have to take this or it’ll make him more upset, ugh my name is chris giacometti, i’m a huge nerd and i just love my boyfriend soooooo much’”

“uh, why wouldn’t he just tell me that himself”

phichit: “i don’t know???! probably because he’s a huge nerd who loves you so much???! and he didn’t want to like, interrupt you being mad at us for the selfie?”

“………phichit, give chris his phone back.”

phichit: “okay!! bye, theirry!! i’m sorry for posting the selfie and making your life hard!!!”

chris: “HI BAE DID PHICHIT CLEAR THINGS UP”

“chris, this is one of those situations we talked about? you know, the ones where you’re allowed to not take my call or tell me that you need to call me back because important things are happening? so you don’t need to be unreasonably, irrationally worried that i’ll be mad at you because i understand that you have anxiety about this but i swear that i won’t be upset? or worried? or any other negative thing you’re afraid of me being?”

chris: “yeah, but when i didn’t take your call in rome, we were getting interrogated by the mafioso professor guy! i didn’t want you to worry!! also, you’re right to be mad at us!! we fucked it up bad this time!!! so you deserved to, like?! idk, chew us out before you had time to calm down and not be as mad at us!!! *makes a weird squawking noise as phichit drags him into a fairly empty alleyway* also i can’t text you and run at the same time, bae!! i’m not superman!”

“you have been risking your escape and stressing your body out to talk to me while you’re running and dragging luggage through a crowded city…… because you wanted to let me be MAD at you?”

chris: “*in between trying to catch his breath as he and phichit slump against the wall* well, yeah! i mean!! you’re my thierry, you’re my bae… and i know you do that thing sometimes where you’re really understanding and i love it…… i really do!!! ……but it’s totally not fair on you, sometimes!! because you end up censoring your feelings instead of communicating them!! and i mean, i don’t like that i made you mad at us, but you’re right to be so you should express that and like—”

“if the next words out of your mouth have something to do with sex, chris, i swear to god—”

chris: “well, yeah, the sex with you is great, but like!! bae, i mean!!! if it was just that, i wouldn’t love you, though!! it’s all of you, like how you’re smart and you’re sweet and you’re funny and so caring and it’s like?? what kind of way to treat somebody you love is that? ignoring your call when you’re right to be mad?”

“at the moment, it’s a self-preserving way to treat me because frankly? i would have understood if you and phichit escaped from your fans before calling me back. :/”

chris: “but then you’d have time to get not-as-mad at us! which isn’t fair! like you should be able to express that with us and i love you so much that i’d rather let you be mad at us while we’re trying to run from fans than call you back because making you wait is so not fair to the man i’m gonna marry!!!”

“wait what?”

chris: “*deep breaths and finally starts chilling out a bit* which part wait what?”

“‘it is so not fair to the man i’m gonna marry’?”

chris: “…………uh. ……………oops, i love you, are you mad or happy? mad or happy?”

“neither, er — confused, mostly, i mean?? we haven’t talked about anything like this since we moved in together, and??? explain???”

chris: “i decided i wanted to propose recently, okay?! and i wanted to wait until after the wedding so it wouldn’t steal viktor and yuuri’s thunder because viktor’s my best friend and yuuri’s the endearing oddball who makes my best friend happy, and oh god, fuck, this is so not how i wanted to do this—”

phichit: “*shouting at the phone* he was gonna cook for you, thierry! he was gonna make your favorites and he ruled out rose petals because he knows you’d hate the mess and wouldn’t find it sexy!!! he has like twenty-seven pages of handwritten plans about it in his journal, i saw them, it was super-romantic!”

chris: “oh my god, shut up!”

“wait is he serious”

chris: “…i mean, i have more like forty pages of plans about it because some of them, i had to vote, ‘no’ on but…… yes?”

“okay, are you being serious”

chris: “*sighs, then stiffens as phichit tugs on his sleeve and points out of the alley, where a few fans are looking around; sotto voce* ……bae, i don’t want to cut this off because i love you more than anything and it’s important but we’re gonna have to run again, so look? i’ll call you back when we’re out of this for real, and until then, there’s something in the upper right drawer of my desk that should answer your question for you, okay?”

“*chuckles* if it’s those weird gold medal condoms, i’m divorcing you”

chris: “ugggh, it’s not condoms, thierry, jesus! *has unwittingly alerted the fans to his and phichit’s hiding spot* okay, shit, we need to run, I LOVE YOU, BAE, YOU MAKE ME HAPPY EVEN WHEN YOU’RE MAD AT ME, TAKE CARE, GET SLEEP TONIGHT, I LOVE YOU AND WANT TO MARRY YOU, BYE.”

phichit: “*drags chris down the alley by his sleeve because fuck this, they’re running now, chris*”

anyway, at some point, they end up in some secondhand bookshop where a lone fan corners them and actually has some unexpected information about the nikiforovs for them

so, at least a hard day’s night in munich: starring phichit chulanont and christophe giacometti! was worth something more than the entertainment they’ll get out of telling the stories after the fact, when they are not exhausted and trying to get to paris on the tail of this new lead

that’s it for now, this post got long enough and i need to go make dinner

the end (probably temporarily)!!!

okay, bye, thanks for reading

#yoiweek2017 #yuri on ice headcanons #phichit chulanont #christophe giacometti #chris x mystery guy #yuri on ice #thierry kensinger #christophe x thierry #christophe x phichit #mine: yuri on ice #mine: headcanons #leo de la iglesia #seung gil lee #yuri plisetsky #vague background references to saramila & emilmickey #*only acknowledges the 'mystery guy' thing bc it's a tag that tumblr suggested; otherwise i'm sticking to my headcanon oops*#all caps /

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tornrose24 · 8 years ago

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‘Only a Voice’part 7 (A Moana Fan fic AU loosely inspired by the Little Mermaid)

As always, remember that this can also be read over at fan fiction.net under my other name ‘HolyMaiden24.′ I always appreciate a good review or pointer if I made a spelling error.

Anyway, this is the chapter where things start to get adorable, complicated, and ends with the beginning of my idea of a platonic version of ‘Kiss the Girl.’

Somewhere where it was really dark, Tamatoa was in bioluminescent form and he was waiting as the writer (who was covered in green bioluminescent markings and a bunch of green jewelry) recounted something as she sat on his shell and cleaned her sword off with a rag. “Long story short, Mickey sent Sora, Donald, and Goofy to stop me, so one died.” She concluded. “And yes that was a Kingdom Hearts reference. Anyway, say you wrote a book and you want to get published. Would I try to sponsor myself through inkshares, kickstarter, or just go ahead with a self-publishing website?” “I honestly have no idea what you are talking about and I think you have other matters to attend to.” The crab responded as he pointed to the reader from beyond their screen. “And yes, I was referring to you specifically.” He told you. The writer looked up in confusion before she smiled and waved at you. “Oh hey, sorry! I got pretty busy cleaning the tomatoes off my sword.”

“So as per usual the A/N is different depending on which version you are reading. I’ve noticed I’ve had a bad habit of missing errors so be ready to call me out if you see any. Any way, one of my reviewers over at Fanfiction.net asked Tamatoa how he was able to do half of the things he could like picking something up, considering his size and all, and if it gave him issues. His response was it takes a lot of practice and lots of free time. Of course it gets harder the more he grows.”

“And then he demonstrated with a cage that he made himself out of bone and ropes, which was used to do the following–”

-????- “Come on, come on!” Moana snarled as she kept smashing the button on her controller while she, Belle, Rapunzel, and Mulan were playing Super Smash Brothers. In fact, all of them were so engrossed in the game that they failed to see a cage come smashing down upon them and the TV. “What the heck?!” Belle screamed as the girls quickly realized what just happened. “No, no, I refuse to let this happen!” Rapunzel yelled out. “I DON’T WANT TO GET TRAPPED AGAIN!” “Uh, who is that?” Mulan pointed at what was outside of the cage. Moana took a look and felt her heart stop when she recognized the culprit. “ARE YOU SERIOUS?!” She yelled up at Tamatoa. “IS THIS FOR WHAT HAPPENED BACK THEN?!” “See Enigma?!” Tamatoa gestured to the cage with a flourish while the writer went from cleaning her sword to typing on her laptop. “Good enough to trap a few princesses!” “Well not for me!” Moana yelled. “Let us out!” She demanded, but her foe merely laughed and strutted away from her and her friends.

-Back to the A/N-

Yup, Mini Maui is still around and kicking! My knowledge of sailing is painfully limited so I had to do the best that I could. Also, if I get any of the hand gestures mixed up with actual sign language, I apologize in advance for that. The lyrics are from the song ‘Innocent Warrior’ from Moana, if no one catches on to it.

Chapter 7 Upon the ocean It was getting closer and closer to the long awaited day and the people of Motonui were getting more caught up in preparing for the visit. Even so there was always a guaranteed chance that you would notice something had changed if you paid attention to a certain interaction between two of the people on the island. Another thing you would have noticed a little more so was that Moana seemed to be a bit more confident in herself and looked a little less overwhelmed. “I think we are about done.” A woman showed Moana some tapas that were getting close to being finished and would replace some of the old ones in the community fale. “Though I don’t know if we will have enough time to make new ones for trading or not.” “Why don’t we focus on replacing the old tapas?” Moana suggested. “If you would like to make some to trade with, why not keep them on the small side?” She suggested. “There’ll always be next time.” “We’ll consider it.” The woman smiled. She watched as Moana hurried off and was followed by her silent companion who had watched the future Chief interact with the women at the tapas. “Well at this rate at least the community fale will look good as new.” She joked to a friend who was painting on a design for a tapestry. “How are we on the coconuts?” Moana asked Talia as she and the others tended to the harvest. “Well the new grove is still growing and we might need to wait for a bit for these ones to ripen up.” Talia noted. “Father also wanted me to tell you that the taro roots will be ready in time, but it wouldn’t hurt to let some of them grow a bit more.” “Ok, that’s good!” Moana beamed as she hurried off to the fishing fale. “How are we?” She asked the fishermen as they counted the fish. “Do the fish keep switching places on everyone?” “They still give us a hard time, but I think were doing just fine.” One of the men showed Moana a spear with a familiar looking head. “It’s thanks to your friend over there that they can’t get away from us that easily.” Moana turned to her companion, who just gave her a smile. “It does look as if the fishes wouldn’t be able to slip away from the spearheads.” Moana admitted before turning back to facing the fishermen. “Remember that we don’t want to scare them all off. We will need to get a bunch more before the Chief visits, so maybe try to get as much as you can on the day before?” After Moana waved to the fishermen and made to go off to her next task, she turned to the man beside her. “You’ll have to show us how you make those.” Moana began. “I could see that the visitors would want some and that would make trading easier. Plus I doubt you would want to make more than you’d like to in your free time.” She quickly added. The man gave her a careful look before shrugging. In truth, he wasn’t entirely willing to pass on all his secrets but maybe he could make a small exception. It was later on after Moana helped watch over the children at her grandmother’s fale that the man pulled her aside and began to lead her to the cave. Tala paused in her story telling to watch the interaction and when she was pleased to see that there was not going to be a repeat of what happened last time, she continued the story. “You’ll show me now, right?” Moana asked. When the man nodded, she let out a big grin and had to keep herself from bursting out in excitement, otherwise that would get them both caught. In the secret cave that was far from prying eyes, both of them had to learn that limited communication was not going to make teaching easy. Fortunately neither of them were willing to let this get in the way of things since they had done a more than decent job of interacting with each other up to this point. Maui watched as Moana held up the oar. “So could you make a sign for each part of the boat and then just let me know if I get anything mixed up?” He nodded. “So what would the sign for this be?” She held the oar out. He gave her a childish smirk and mimicked paddling the oar in the ocean, which made her feel a little foolish. Still it was more obvious and already the easiest to remember. “Ok, that made sense.” Moana glanced at the sail before looking back to him. “Uh... and the sail?” He made a fist with his hand. “And I suppose the waves would be...” She did a waving motion her her hand that bobbed up and down like the waves of the sea and he accepted this with a nod. “Uh...” Moana frowned as she looked at the extra parts of the boat that she was not as familiar with like the large pole in front of the sail. “I... I don’t know what that is.” She admitted. “I don’t know what the ropes can do either.” She felt embarrassed. “I mean I think I heard something once or twice but I don’t know.” Maui eyed every part of the boat. The halyard, the shroud, and the sheet would be tricky to ‘explain’ unless he actually showed her how they could be used. If he encouraged her to try to ask someone about the terminology then it would raise questions which neither of them wanted. He went ahead and moved behind the boat, forcing Moana to watch in confusion as he moved it into the water with the same ease as two men pushing a similar sized boat into the water together. “We aren’t going out into the ocean just yet, are we?” She asked. He shook his head no and didn’t stop until the boat was completely in the water. When it did, Maui gestured for Moana to get on and she was more than happy to do so. It felt wonderful to feel the boat rock back and forth under her feet again, no matter how short it would last for. Maui grabbed the sheet and handed the end that was laying on the boat to Moana. She waited to see what he would do and when he gave it a pull, she saw that the sail moved in one particular direction. “Ok, so this helps with moving the sail.” She quickly picked up on this with a smile. “So just do a pulling motion for this one?” Maui nodded with a smile; maybe this wouldn’t be as hard as he thought after all.

Sometime in the dead of night, Pua snuck into Maui’s fale, which was not too far from Chief Tui’s fale. The fale did not have much in it, except for one sleeping giant of a man, a few spear heads that he had made, some coconut shells with scrimshaw upon them, and hidden behind a few baskets was the necklace of animal teeth that he had first sworn before he stopped wearing it on his first day on Motonui. Pua had a sneaking suspicion that Maui stopped wearing it because it would have made him look a little familiar to those who saw his image, but that was not his concern and instead he went to the sleeping Maui, whose head was flopped over to one side and whose left arm was exposed to the open air. Pua walked over to the shoulder and waited to see if the strange tattoo from before would reappear. Sure enough, the strange grinning symbols on the shoulder shifted and parted to make a large circle and revealed a smiling figure that looked a lot like Maui. In fact it was the same figure Pua saw the day before. The figure waved and moved to the side to show a young Moana and Pua playing upon Maui’s skin. So what was left of the tattoos did remember Pua; when the miniature version of Maui pointed at the tattooed version of Pua and back to the actual Pua, the pig nodded to confirm that they were also one and the same. Mini Maui pantomimed pondering something with a hand cupped over his chin and a few question marks popped around his head before he pointed to his host, then pointed to a smaller version of the original tattooed version of himself, and then finally pointed to a non-tattooed version that looked identical to the current appearance of his host. Relieved to see that someone that could communicate with him would give the much needed answers, Pua nodded. Mini Maui nodded back as the smaller versions of the two versions of Maui, Moana, and Pua were absorbed into the ink and a crowd of cheering people rose up from the bottom of the circle. Mini Maui gained tattoos upon himself to represent the demi-god before he had been changed and he acted out as if he were excited and enjoyed the people’s praises. But as the seconds passed, the people continuously vanished and were replaced by more people and the excitement in Maui’s face died away and he began to frown. The ink shifted and showed Maui talking to a Chief, who pointed to a few monsters off in the distance. Maui took out his fish hook and when he approached the monsters he bashed them repeatedly on the head in a comical fashion until the monsters hurried away in fear. Maui approached the Chief with a smile of pride, but then the Chief merely smirked, turned away to his people, and they all left Maui alone. Maui had a very offended look on his face as he dropped the fish hook to the ground, but the offense died away into dejection and he turned away with a sad look in his eyes. A cloud then appeared over his head that showed the more human like form within it. From what Pua could gather, Maui seemed to be tired out by something, but he had been taken advantage of in the past and was not acknowledged for what he had done for that Chief and his people. So why would Maui be thinking of himself as a human? Did he want to become one? The ink then swirled together and this time it showed a rather unexpected scene, as Maui’s smaller incarnation was in the company of a giant crab that looked more than familiar to Pua after seeing his image one time too many. What did Tamatoa have to do with Maui being a human? The tattoo version of Tamatoa moved his mouth as if talking and another version of Maui appeared, along with one of the humans. An arrow pointed at Maui before pointing at the human, then it pointed back to Maui, who then turned into the more human version that was currently asleep. Ok, so Tamatoa must have turned him into a human somehow, but then the arrow pointed to a scene that was a little lower on the real Maui’s arm. It showed that Maui smiling at another human and this human hugged them before they grabbed his hand and took him away. Pua was really confused about this part and Mini Maui saw this, so he just held his hand up and gestured to Tamatoa, who slammed a large shell on the ground in front of him. Mini Maui walked over to the strange object and began drinking something out of it, before he recoiled away after a few gulps. He opened his mouth and gagged like Heihei would when heaving up a stone and something circular came out of the smaller Maui’s mouth before he collapsed into the sand and the markings that represented his tattoos vanished off his body. A great wave of water then came to take Maui away from Tamatoa, who grinned in sadistic delight as he scooped up the circular object into a shell on a necklace. Pua watched as Tamatoa vanished and the waves carried the still sleeping Maui away before setting him upon a spot of land, where Heihei appeared to peck at his head before Pua’s smaller incarnation came to find him. The tattoo version of Pua panicked and made to cry out to something and a teenaged version of Moana hurried to the scene to find Maui before she knelt beside him with a concerned frown on her face. Mini Maui woke up to mimic clutching at his throat and when the circular object appeared again, he pointed to it and then pointed to his throat before acting out as if he were trying to say something. He give Pua a shrug and an apologetic, yet hopeful smile before the characters all swirled together until they changed back into the original tattoo that had been upon Maui’s arm (the one that belonged to this current version, not the other one). Pua had a hard time gathering what was going on and somehow Tamatoa helped Maui turn into a human, but what exactly was it that came out of Maui that the crab took? Was it his voice? What did it mean when Maui hugged the other human? And why exactly would the ocean bring Maui back to Moana of all people after all this had happened? He hated that he now had more questions than before. Unknown to him, Mini Maui was also frustrated because there was a lot of additional info that would be hard to convey in a way that Pua would easily understand. This included the time limit, the bet, and just how important it was for Moana to develop a bond with Maui that would be strong enough to let him know that someone out there truly valued him for who he was. Plus he was quite fond of that spirited human girl and he was sure that Maui was secretly fond of her too, no matter how much he would try to deny it.

The days began to pass and Moana and Maui’s relationship slowly evolved into something a little more than a truce. He taught her as much as he could about sailing, yet he would not let the boat go out of the cave just yet. He even had to change up when Moana could go to the cave so that her father would not get suspicious and there were a few times where they had to sneak out in the dead of night. There were some struggles with trying to teach her without words, but the actions alone was more than enough to replace them and the more Moana was quick to pick up Maui’s cues, the more she was able to react in time to what she had to do. She had many questions about what could happen, such as if a wave were about to overpower her, and he would guide her in what to do. Some things were harder than others, but something like teaching her how to tie a knot properly and have her copy him was easier. She also learned that no matter how much she could watch the fishermen at their boats by the shore so that she could try to pick up more about sailing, it just wasn’t going to cut it; their boats were just not built the same as hers was. As Maui sat down on the boat and let his legs hang off after one of the lessons, Moana realized that the boat was once again in the water. In fact it was pretty far from the shoreline to the point that the water below had to be a good five feet deep. And her teacher wasn’t paying attention to her; one could say that he seemed rather distracted. With an evil grin, Moana decided it was time for some well deserved revenge. She quietly backed a few feet away before she ran towards Maui with her hands out. The moment he turned his head and slightly shifted his position, she pushed him right in the shoulders (she remembered to avoid the sensitive part on his back) and watched in delight as he tumbled right off the boat and into the water with a tremendous, yet satisfying splash. When Maui broke through the surface, he quickly turned around and had to move his water soaked hair out of his face to see that Moana was kneeling beside the boat and giving him a big grin with one eyebrow raised at him. He was confused as to why she had done this to him until he realized she was in the same position he was when he threw her into the sea. Oh so that was it. She wanted revenge for that little incident and took her chance when he was distracted. When Moana saw the man in the water give her a deep scowl, she dropped her smile and wondered if she took it too far again. She gulped as he let go of his hair before he swam towards her and she hoped to the gods that this would not ruin their agreement. Instead, Maui reached out to grab Moana by the leg and pulled her right into the water alongside him. Her splash was not as spectacular as his own, but it was still just as satisfying to him. When it was her turn to brake through the surface and move her hair out of her face, Maui let out a hilariously amusing grin at how utterly shocked the teenager looked. When she realized what he had done, Moana could only let out a laugh and slapped the water to splash a wave right at him. Maui took this as an invite to a fight and he splashed a larger wave back at her and even though she was hit by it, Moana did not back down from the challenge and an epic watery showdown ensued. Unfortunately it probably was not as epic as it seemed, but it was the fun that counted. Moana could not stop laughing and even between splashes she could tell that the man was also laughing, even if she could not hear it. A part of her wanted so badly to know what that laugh was supposed to sound like, yet the other part just wanted to let go and have fun. It was only then that she stopped seeing this man as an unwanted guardian or just a teacher who she still had a hard time trusting to not tell her father about her lessons–instead he became a genuine friend. Maybe he wasn’t the exact kind of friend most would picture for someone like her but she didn’t care.

At night when Moana tried to measure the stars, Maui had to correct her position so that she had her arm straight out and her fingers were joined together, before standing beside her to do the same. Her hand was so much smaller and more slender than his own hand, yet it was starting to get some calluses though not quite as much as his own. The way was his own hand was shaped was so unusual compared to most other men to the point it almost didn’t seem human-like, yet was clearly ideal for certain tasks and hard labor. Moana smiled at the sight of her hand and his own against the night sky, but as she measured the stars, she thought about the missing constellation. Perhaps her companion knew something about it? “Have you noticed that Maui’s constellation is missing from the sky lately?” Moana asked as she glanced at him. “Grandma noticed it and–” Maui was alarmed by this question and looked up at the sky and every part of it that surrounded him before looking up as high as he could to see if it was over Motonui, but it wasn’t. That was not good. Nope, not good at all. “So you’re concerned about it too?” Moana asked as she dropped her hand. “I don’t know why it vanished, but I hope nothing bad has happened to Maui.” She frowned. “I mean some people still think he’s just a story and some think he is still alive. I think he does exist, but I really hope he didn’t do something to anger the gods. I know he did some things that were not favorable in some of the stories–including the ones we can’t exactly tell the children.” She winced at the memory of some of those tales. “But some of us still look up to him despite his faults.” “He’s done so much for us–maybe more than we could have asked for–that I’d hate it if his legacy ended on a bad note. Actually I got inspiration from him when I sent those kids upon you so that I could get away.” She chuckled as she grew thoughtful. “Someone who is both brave enough to face the worst of situations and smart enough to figure out a situation in a small amount of time... we need more people like that in this world.” Moana didn’t see Maui look away, nor did she notice the look of guilt in his eyes. Normally such words would be taken as praises and would give him an ego boost, but it didn’t this time around. She was giving him way too much credit than she realized. Maybe he took the human race for granted after all this time. He had been focused so much on seeing them as a whole and was constantly trying to do everything for them to get their approval that he kept forgetting that there were those who had still believed him in and were not expecting him to constantly outdo himself for their sake. And just to twist the knife further, it figured that he got in this mess in the first place because he felt that the appreciation the humans had towards him was not entirely genuine as it used to be and wore off throughout the ages. Yet here was proof that someone still remembered and believed in him, even if she didn’t know who he was. He hated being regarded as just a story instead of an actual person at times, so this confession meant a lot to him. Except he was sure that that Moana would be more than upset if she ever found out the truth about why he was the way he was now and even more so if he lost the ‘little’ bet he made awhile back. “But maybe its just off season and the stars will come back.” Moana tried to reassure herself. “Maybe the constellation is elsewhere, right?” The longer he stayed as a human, the more there would be at stake. He could not bring himself to disappoint Moana if she had to learn the truth and yet... When exactly did it get to the point that he had grown to care so much about what one human out of an entire race felt about him? Why would the idea of disappointing her more than an entire race of mortals scare him like this? All he knew was that he couldn’t abandon her now just because he was terrified over what consequences he would face. He could at least fulfill her wish before he had to make a decision in the future about whether or not he would need to leave this island and spare themselves from a tragic end to this irony.

More time began to pass and Maui counted as it went from eight days, to six days, and eventually it got to the point where he had three days left, as did Moana for when the Chief would come to visit. He tried to avoid thinking about the future and instead just try to focus on the present. He did what he could and helped Moana get the coconuts they needed, or the fruit from other plants. He showed her exactly how he made the barbed spears, though it was easier said then done and she ended up nicking herself a few times. He also watched as she talked about making a proper enclosure for the animals with a few villagers and agreed on double reinforcing some parts of them. “Just keep that rooster in a basket though, he’d peck his way out of the enclosure if he knew what he was doing.” A man pointed and sure enough Heihei was pecking at some rope that was slowly becoming undone by his sharp beak. “I’ll think on that.” Moana promised as she picked Heihei up and carefully petted his feathers. The rooster made no protest to this and enjoyed the petting while it lasted. Maui allowed Moana to show him around the island and the forested areas as she talked about the island and the history of her people as well as a little about herself. It was in the forest where she was allowed to be more adventurous and he could only watch in amusement as she took a large leaf and used it to slide down one of the oddly angled trees over a big ditch. She offered the leaf for him to do the same thing and he did– except his weight made the leaf snap in half and caused him to fall into the ditch and she had to watch as he crawled back up. “I swear I didn’t mean to do that on purpose!” Moana apologized, but there was a smile on her face. When she felt something grab onto her ankle, she looked down to see that her companion was holding onto it with a very sneaky smile while keeping his head turned to the side as a respectful precaution. “Oh no, don’t you dare do that again!” Moana began. “No I said don’t!” She laughed when he tugged on her ankle, but he did not even try to pull her into the ditch. “Maybe next time you can get back at me when I deserve it!” Moana herself oversaw everything to make sure that her village was presentable and that they had enough food for their guests, in addition to having enough goods to trade with. Everything was becoming a giddy whirl as the Royal Marae and the community fale were both completely cleaned and presentable, the coconuts were being picked, and everything else was coming into place. The dancing lessons for the event was going along well and her own dancing was getting better and better with each passing day as she tried to find more time to practice on her own. She took inspiration from the ocean to keep her movements slow, steady, yet fluid and graceful, and those who saw this picked up on the changes. “She’s going to be beautiful.” A healthier looking Sina smiled at Tala as they watched Moana dance outside the community fale. “I don’t know what you said, but she’s improved so much.” “Oh, I think she found inspiration where she needed it the most.” Tala chuckled. “Her confidence is also playing a big role in all of this.” She looked to the man who could not speak and watched as he smiled on in pride at Moana. “Though I think some additional help around here has somehow played a part.” The music ended and Moana was greeted with applause. She couldn’t help but curtsey to her audience and let out a smile as her mother walked towards her. “You will make us all proud.” Sina smiled. “Even our ancestors would find this enjoyable to behold.” “I hope it will be as easy as this one time.” Moana nervously laughed, but Sina put a hand on Moana’s shoulder. “Allow the music and the spirit of your soul to guide you.” Sina advised her daughter. “Do this and all of Motonui and the people of Chief Hoani will see you for who you are on the inside.” “I hope I don’t reveal too much!” Moana laughed. Meanwhile Maui frowned from his spot because something about the name of the Chief sounded familiar, even if it might have been mentioned in passing before. Did he know a Chief that went by that name? He had met several in his time, so why did this one scream out at him? Actually, wasn’t there a Chief he had met that mentioned this island some time ago? “That is a gift for the family of the Chief of Motonui! I did not promise that to you as payment for protecting us from those monsters!” If there was ever a time that Maui’s heart could stop for longer than a second, now was it. He felt himself get cold as the memories came back to him of what happened the night before he decided to turn into a human. Oh gods, of all the things that had to happen to make this even more difficult for him, it had to be because a certain cheapsake that he stole from had to show up on the island on his last day as a human. And how many were coming? Nineteen? Who else would recognize him?! It didn’t matter how much scarring had happened to him or how much else of him had changed because they would recognize him in a heartbeat! There was no way they would be stupid enough to think he was someone else, unless a miracle could happen. Moana turned around to face her friend with a smile but then frowned in concern when she saw how troubled he looked and hurried off to who knew where. “I’ll be right back.” She told Sina and hurried after her companion with Pua close behind. “Is something wrong?” Moana asked Maui as soon as she caught up to him. “You seem troubled by something.” Maui hesitated and turned around, but he could not bring himself to just shake his head and continue on like nothing happened. Instead he looked out to the ocean and tried to figure out why on earth he was brought to Motonui of all places if he was going to go on this massive guilt trip and face a more than likely enraged Chief from another island. One word was all that was needed to be said in order for everything to come undone if he was present for the event. It all just built up into a frusterated anger that he was struggling to contain. He had no idea what it was that he wanted now and he had to be denied one more day because fate had to be a magnificent jerk to him. Moana herself couldn’t think of exactly what would upset the man before her (especially if he couldn’t flat out say it). “You would let me know though, right?” She asked. Whatever was going though his mind was all too clear in his eyes and whatever it was, it was causing him a great distress. She could only watch as he opened his mouth as if to say something, but when he remembered that he couldn’t, he could only turn around and walk away. She watched as he briefly ran his fingers through his hair with one hand and pulled it up for a few seconds before it dropped back down. However, it was long enough for Moana to notice something rather odd. She had stopped paying attention to the man’s scars a long time ago, but there was something about some of the few on his back that had changed. The scars used to look so horrendous and yet some of them were losing their discoloration and were looking closer to his natural skin tone now. The one hidden under his hair particularly looked less like a patch of an uneven, jagged terrain of flesh and was starting to look a little closer to the ones on the rest of his body. Moana chose not to think on this and turned away as she wondered what could be done to help her friend. She had no idea that the man was heading to his fale and she would never learn that the moment he was inside, he would let out a violent series of voiceless yelling and cursing that would go unheard to all. All she knew was that if there had been a way to know what was troubling him, she would try to help him in a heartbeat.

She didn’t recognize this part of the island. The rocks, the trees, the flowers, the plants–everything was different, yet the sand and the ocean looked the same. Moana glanced at her surroundings as she tried to figure out what sort of dream this was. As she kept walking, she thought she heard a woman singing in the distance, so she hurried towards the source. When she finally got close enough and hurried around a large rock, she was met with a strange sight. A woman garbed in white garments, and who had long flowing dark hair with a crown of flowers upon her head, sang as she danced knee deep in the ocean like Moana’s grandmother did. What made the sight so strange was that a wave of water from the ocean had risen up to her chest and appeared to be dancing alongside her. “Ou mata e matagi,” The woman sang as she gracefully waved her arms about. “Ou loto mamaina toa.” Moana couldn’t dare to stop the woman with her own questions. Instead she watched in awe as the woman and the wave of water danced together in harmony. “Manatu atu. Taku pelepele.” The woman raised her arms in the air, but then the wave shifted out of sync and tilted at a strange angle. “I have heard much about you, young one.” The woman suddenly spoke out to Moana. Moana heard a strange cracking noise and she turned around to see that a fale similar to her own grandmother’s appeared right behind her as if by some sort of divine magic. Drawn to the fale, Moana walked towards it and pulled back one of the tapas so that she could enter it. Much like her grandmother’s fale, the tapas were tapestries of gods and monsters, but each one was moving upon the surface as if they were alive. From the creation of the world, to the great eel that lead to the coconut tree, they replayed their own stories for Moana to watch. But then, as if they sensed her presence, the characters all stopped moving on the tapas. All except one figure that was crouched in front of a rock with his hands over his eyes as he rocked back and forth on his feet. Moana walked to this one and when she got close enough, the figure sprang up to reveal himself as a young child before he ran off to the side of his tapa, disappeared, and then reappeared in the next one. She watched as he cupped a hand to his mouth to call out for someone as he walked around but then noticed the eight eyed bat that was in front of him. He moved as if he noticed something behind the creature and when he yelled at it, something small quickly fell out from behind it and landed on top of the child’s head. It was a small coconut crab no bigger then the child’s own head, though he still seemed to require wearing a specific protective shell before he could develop his own. “Is that–?” Moana realized that the crab looked more than familiar to her, having seen a larger version of him more than once. If the crab was who she thought it was, then did that mean that the child was who she thought he was? The boy laughed as he took the crab off his head and lifted him up into the air for one minute. Even the crab seemed to be laughing in joy as he was held up in the air before the boy set him back down. Moana continued to watch as both the younger versions of Maui and Tamatoa hurried off to play and search for treasures hiding within the other tapestries. “If only I had seen what was to come.” The woman’s voice lamented as if it were right beside Moana. When Moana turned around to try to find it, all the images had vanished off the tapas, save for one where a much larger version of the crab now bore a dark grin as he told something to the boy who was now grown up into the version of himself that Moana knew best. She watched as the demi-god’s teeth began to grit down in anger while the crab moved closer and closer towards him and continued to say whatever he had to say until he towered over him. “Instead a cycle of revenge has begun.” Moana turned to try to find the voice, but instead she saw another tapa with the crab and the demi-god. Except this time it took a dark turn as an enraged Maui was shown ripping off one of Tamatoa’s legs with a large hook with all the force that he could summon up. Moana could only stare in horror as the limb came off and the crab let out what should have been an agonized scream while Maui seemed to come to his senses and realized what he had done in equal wide eyed horror. “Why would you show me this?!” Moana turned around to try to find the woman. When she couldn’t find her, she hurried outside to see the woman standing near the ocean instead of within it. Now that she was facing Moana, the girl could she that she looked strangely like her own mother and yet not quite. Her mother did not have the same vibrant green colored eyes that this woman had. “I chose not to interfere with current events as what has happened has been of his own choosing. Yet something has changed and I will not be able to reach you in time to stop what is to come.” The woman apologized. “What are you talking about?!” Moana demanded as she threw her hands out. “Does this have something to do with Maui’s missing constellation? I’m only seeing images, but they aren’t enough! I don’t know what Maui and Tamatoa’s falling out has to do with any of it!” The woman could only turn to the ocean as a pillar of water rose out of it. “So long as you are by the ocean or within it, it will protect you from a certain danger.” She held her hand out towards the pillar of water, which moved closer towards her. “If you stray too far from it, you will meet a terrible fate.” She turned back to Moana. “Heed your grandmother’s words, my child–appearances can be very deceiving, so trust with your heart. Only you and you alone will have the power to end it all.” “I don’t understand!” Moana cried out in frustration. “I can’t be by the ocean when I am needed to be in the village! How does that help me?! And what is it that must end?!” A hand grabbed Moana’s arm in a painful manner and she felt herself be pulled towards the fale, but the fale had vanished and instead the hand pulled her as far from the ocean as possible. Moana tried to look back to see who grabbed her, but instead there was nothing but darkness to greet her before it swallowed her whole. “Remember my words, Moana.” The woman called out one final time. “Remember who you truly are.”

As Moana tossed and turned in her slumber, Tui got up and headed outside to get some much needed air. “Just a few more days.” He reminded himself as he ran a hand over his face as he faced the mountains and the forested area that was behind the village. “I won’t even have to tell her. The last thing I need is to add onto the stress and–” He heard a strange rumbling sound off in the distance that made him stop what he was doing. It was a strange sound that was somewhere far off, but not close enough to be anywhere near the village and it was too dark to tell where it was coming from. He heard it again and this time he detected that it was coming from somewhere near the northeastern side of the island. He shut his eyes to try to focus on the sound and he could have sworn he heard another faint sound, like a stick cracking in half. No it was like many sticks were cracking in half. He paused for a moment and waited in anticipation when the sounds ceased. Should he alert someone to go get help or wait to see if he was imagining things? He opted for the latter and waited for a long time, yet nothing happened. “Perhaps it was just my mind playing a trick upon me.” Tui tried to reassure himself, but he was not entirely convinced. He needed to take a group out to where he thought he heard that sound, but he would have to be careful about it. He didn’t want to cause any panic amongst his people if something was amiss and he was already developing a bad feeling in his guts.

The next day, everyone was ahead of schedule or had just managed to make ends meet in time to have a little more free time. Even Moana found that she didn’t have much to do besides help the children with her dancing and oversee the final preparations, but she couldn’t help but wonder about the dream. She wondered if perhaps her grandmother would be able to tell her. “Moana!” Her father called to her as she finished the dance lesson with the children and she turned to see him approach her. “I see that you have done a fine job thus far.” He smiled at her. “It has been difficult but I am glad to see that you have pulled through.” “Thank you father!” Moana beamed with delight. “I’m going to be exploring certain parts of the island for a bit.” Tui told her. “In the meantime I think you have more than earned some time to yourself. So long as I see you come home by sundown.” He added. “I will!” Moana smiled. “One more thing.” Tui added. “Just be careful alright?” “Yes!” Moana waved and didn’t think too much about her fathers words as she watched her father walk towards a small group of men and women before she turned back to her students. “Are you sure you won’t tell her?” One of the women asked Tui as they headed towards the mountains and forests. “It would be a good part of her training if your hunch is correct.” She pointed out as she examined her spear. “The last thing I need is to raise alarm amongst my people.” Tui confessed to her as he allowed his happy masquerade to drop. “I don’t know what it is that I had heard, but I fully intend to investigate before we take action. I want as much of the island explored as possible before it is time to head back.” “Suppose it was just one of the gods having a bit of fun.” One of the men laughed. As Moana finished her lesson, she walked off as Pua joined her again and she tried to think of what else could be done to occupy her time when she felt a hand grab her wrist. For one second she recalled the dream and the mystery hand, but when she turned to see a certain friend, she smiled in relief. “Oh, guess what?!” She exclaimed. “Father gave me some time off today starting right now!” She looked at him again to see if anything had changed besides the scarring, but the only thing that was different was the green lavalava he wore when he first came to the island. Knowing that Moana had free time pleased Maui a little bit as this was perhaps the only chance he would get to bring her out into the ocean before it was too late. He let go of her hand and began heading towards the secret entrance to the cave. “Where are you going?!” Moana asked as Maui made a gesture to follow her. She obeyed and wondered if he was going to lead her to the cave for another lesson.

“So what will you teach me this time?” Moana asked as Maui pushed her boat back into the water again. To her confusion, he paused in his task and pointed to the waterfall with a smile. She titled her head in confusion at this, but when he handed her the oar, she then realized what he had in mind. “You mean–?” Moana couldn’t believe this. “You’re actually going to let me go out into the ocean?!” When her friend nodded in confirmation, Moana felt her heart begin to race. Was she truly going to go back onto the water after all these years without anyone to stop her? “You’re not joking with me are you?” Moana asked. “You’re not going to stop me at the last minute and–” Maui tossed Moana the oar and she quickly reacted by grabbing it before it could fall to the ground. She stared at the oar, which now felt as much as a part of herself as her own arm. “I’m actually going to go out onto the ocean.” She whispered in awe. She let out a laugh and hurried to the boat to push it out into the water. “Are you coming Pua?” She turned to the pig, but Pua shook his head and stayed as far from the water as possible as he wasn’t exactly ready to join his human friend out on the ocean just yet. The moment the boat was completely in the water, Moana didn’t stop pushing until she was knee deep in water and she could hop upon it. Maui immediately hurried to catch up and get on the boat at the moment the girl took the oar and began to paddle towards the waterfall since he knew that she would probably try to go off without him in her excitement (not to mention he still felt compelled to watch over her as the last thing he wanted was her dad to get a heart attack if he wasn’t by her side). Moana didn’t stop paddling and she only briefly acknowledged that Maui had joined her and was sitting a little farther up on the boat now. She had become so focused that the moment she saw a flash of red pop out of the canoe part of the boat, she almost wanted to let out a scream and drop the oar. The flash of red was only Heihei, who somehow wondered all the way into the cave and was stuck in the large compartment inside the canoe. He tilted his head in confusion at Moana, but she quickly grabbed him as carefully as she could and gently tossed him across the water. “Sorry, but maybe another time Heihei!” Moana apologized as the rooster flapped his wings until he had landed right at the shoreline beside an amazed Pua. She turned around to get the oar and started paddling closer towards the waterfall while her passenger shot an amused smirk at the bird. Moana didn’t stop paddling and not even when the boat finally broke through the waterfall that poured water over her. It was only when she could finally see nothing but the blue sky and the ocean ahead of her did this dream truly begin to feel real, and yet she still kept paddling so that she could get as far away from the island as possible. She only briefly looked back to see how close she was to the village and began paddling the boat away from it until she could finally get up to free the sail so that the wind could catch it and allow the boat to glide through the water at a faster pace. Excited to see the wind blowing against the sail, Moana became lost in the moment as she hurried to paddle the boat farther out as it went across the water. Gradually the waves ahead of her got bigger, but the boat was able to surpass each one, which also gave her a rush of adrenaline as she went over and up each one and she felt her insides roll around in excitement. Finally the largest wave came and it was the one that marked the difference between staying within the reef and going completely out into the ocean. She held her breath as it came towards her and she prayed that her boat would make it. It had to, it was built for this very purpose! Slowly the wave came and just when the boat was close enough, it shot upward as if it could take Moana into the sky and in those few seconds she knew what it was like to be a bird. Seconds later the boat went over the wave and came crashing down with a tremendous splash. Realizing what she had just done, Moana got up and turned around to see the last of the wave vanish to reveal that she was now facing the island that she had grown up in with only a reef between the two of them. There was no ground or shallow water below her, but the wood of the boat and the ocean holding it upright. The wind was blowing against her and the boat but it felt comforting instead of annoying. She finally felt free with nothing to hold her back this time. Thrilled at what she had accomplished, Moana let out a breathless laugh as she threw her arms out and just let it all her excitement come out in her joyous outburst. She took it all in–the scent of the ocean, the feeling of moving without actually walking, the sun down upon her and the sound of the waves–it was all that she wanted and more. Meanwhile Maui just smiled and watched Moana as she was caught up in her excitement. He had no desire to try to disrupt her because not only was he trusting her to take over the boat by herself, but because that pure joy on her face was a wonderful sight to behold. She was following what was in her bloodline for many generations–something that had to be contained for way too long–and just seeing that she was truly meant to be out on the ocean made him feel a little proud that he was able to help her accomplish her dream. He wasn’t the only one who was happy for her though. Only one person on the island saw Moana’s boat and she knew without a doubt that Moana was on it, but she didn’t try to stop her granddaughter in any way. Tala beamed as she caressed the pendant part of the necklace around her neck. The blue shell and the gray spiral was a perfect reflection of the ocean that Moana was now a part of. “Thank you for listening to my prayers.” She thanked the gods for finally granting Moana’s deepest wish. Had Tala been given even a hint of what was to come–had she been aware of the long chain of events that first began the night before, or what would happen when Moana would return to the island–had she known exactly what would be at stake, she would have called out for Moana and yelled at her to not be out on the waters for too long. Had she told Moana to come back before the sun would be low enough to change the colors of the sky to darker hues on one side of the world while turning it to lighter hues on the other, then she would have had the earliest and maybe only possible chance to prevent what was to come. Instead Tala smiled and returned back to her fale, unaware that the powers of fate would soon come crashing down upon them all like a great wave.

Sha, la, la, la, my oh my, look at the boy–oh wait that doesn’t count this time. Its funny how there are things I’ve considered tying into the story and then I’m all ‘Ok yeah, totally doing that after all then’ and the end result makes Maui suffer even more than he needs to. On the other hand the water fight was my personal favorite of the scenes to write out in this chapter. Unfortunately, Moana and Maui might get one or two moments of fun together in the next chapter before everything goes horribly downhill. I’m not even going to deny it if you guys are getting an idea of what is going to happen in the next chapter. One of the things I’m annoyed about in the original film is what the heck was the deal with Maui and Tamatoa and why the latter’s leg got torn off, in addition to the fact that Tamatoa knew exactly what Tala must have told Moana. Ironically I was working on a ‘what if’ fan fic about Tamatoa’s past before this one and some of those ideas have made a cameo here so far. So I’ve done five or so chapters this January, but I need to slow it down as I don’t want to ruin the quality of this story. I actually need to go back and edit some chapters that REALLY need it and rushing these chapters out may of had something to do with that. Because of how important the next few are, I may need to limit myself to three or even two chapters a month (and trust me, these will be the good chapters. I’ve been looking forward to them for a reason). So I got some interesting news for those of you who wanted this fan fic to have a little more ship tease involved. I will be doing a special one shot called ‘Ocean’s Duet’ and it can be regarded as canon to this story if you want it to (and it would take place during this chapter), so keep your eyes out for that. And now this way I can make all my readers happy while giving something exclusive to the shippers. I’m STILL holding to my rule of no full on romance until Moana is of age in that one shot, but hopefully what I can provide will be good enough... for now. Anyway, I need to see how the princesses are holding up. -*???*- “You should probably hurry it up before Rapunzel goes insane.” The writer watched from the shadows as Mulan cautioned three familiar looking Disney characters while she and the other three princesses were still trapped in the well designed and rather heavy cage. And who was outside the cage ready to help them? “Ok, on the count of three!” Hercules cautioned as he, Wreck-it-Ralph, and Maui were crouched down at the bottom of the cage. “One. Two. THREE!” They all lifted the cage up long enough for the girls to escape before tossing it aside. “Oh thanks a lot you guys!” Belle sighed in relief. “I was worried someone wouldn’t come to help us in time!” “And that’s my cue to leave.” The writer decided. “But first... HEY!” She quickly popped out of the shadows and alerted the Disney characters to her. “I totally ship you with Elsa from Frozen!” The writer pointed to Ralph, who was insanely confused at this. “I have something similar to say about you guys, but not all of my readers want to hear it again!” She pointed at Moana and Maui. “Also one last thing!” She pointed at Belle. “The live action remake of your movie better be good! I’ve been looking forward to it for ages!” And with that, the writer ran for her life before any of them realized that she was part of the reason why they were all there to begin with. “Wait a minute.” The writer looked around in confusion as she realized someone was missing. “Where did he go?” “Hey Tamatoa?” She called out, but there was no response. “Uh... fish dinners!” She yelled out the part of his song that was now a meme on YouTube. Still no response. “Oh, this isn’t good.” She gulped.

Also, for those of you who cared about who was who while playing Super Smash Brothers, Rapunzel was Yoshi, Mulan was Link, Belle was Robin, and Moana was Greninja.

#disney's moana #moana fan fiction #little mermaid au #moana #maui #pua #heihei #mini maui #(yes mini maui is still around)#tamatoa #secret cameo character #a handful of cameos in A/N #The one shot mentioned will get its own unique tags in the future #innocent warrior #the ocean #I'm aware of that one concept art with the leg getting ripped off #I'm following what I had already established in chapter 3 #platonic

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