#also andi happy birthday once again!!!!!

[bottomlessabyssposts]

Absolutely! Not sure what kind of prompts you write, for future reference—short, long, specific, vague, etc—but for rn, the first thing that popped into my head was an older (like teenage, but whatever works) Mike & Will swinging on the swings? Any context, any au, any tone, etc—post-season 4 or pjo, silly or sad, whatever works for you. Good luck with your writing!

Hello ! I had a lot of fun writing this ! More so, I do dedicate this to @andiwriteordie as a birthday gift <3 I hope you're having an amazing birthday !!

Mike felt content.

For the longest time, Mike's shoulders have been heavy with a burden invisible to most eyes, even his. He felt pinned down on earth, like a prisoner of the soil. His struggles in the form of a vulture eating his insides, which would be untouched the next day, only to be eaten once more. Chains of his worries binding his wrists as he trashes around and screams, eventually giving up when no one turns around.

But now, now Mike never felt as light. Hair flowing in the wind as he swung, his legs going back and forth. And maybe his feet touching the ground was a sign that he grew up, far too old to be here, but he couldn't care less.

Not when Will was giggling next to him.

Will was giggling without a care in the world, chestnut hair dancing to the sound of his laughter. His eyes crinkling with a wide smile, swinging back and forth. At some point, Mike came to a stop, his eyes focused on Will. He was unapolegetically himself, and this was the most beautiful he's ever been. Will has always been beautiful. Beautiful in a way that Mike can't quite put words on. It was in his eyes and the way they catch the light, the way they shine when he's happy. It was in his lips, stretched into a grin, or cherry red and swollen after a kiss. His art, vision of his own mind, screaming Will's personality in the colors, the composition, the strokes of his brush. Mike could write thousands of poems about Will and nothing could ever come close to the real thing.

Because Will was glowing, angel from heaven, and God if that is not a sight Mike would imprit in his mind. Keep it in his brain, replaying this exact moment whenever he'd go to sleep, a smile on his face as he'd sigh dreamily. And maybe it was something he would be ashamed of, years ago, in the darkness of his room, wondering what went wrong when he realized his eyes would instictively follow his best friend instead of his girlfriend.

But now, now he felt free as the wind, and shame left his body, only to be met with joy and warmth and everything he never thought he could feel. Loving Will was beautiful in itself, familiar and reassuring.

But being loved by Will felt even better. Being loved by the kindest, strongest person in the world was absolutely wonderful. Like his heart fluttered with excitement, like he was gifted the best thing on earth. Being loved by Will made him feel six again, when he and Will would roll in the grass, smiles and cheeks tainted with mud and hair messy. When they would wake up in the Wheeler household, and run down the stairs, to devour the pancakes his mom would make, giggling as they mocked the other for being so messy. When they'd stay awake as long as possible, and Mike would stare at Will, watching his eyes dropping, and then open abruptly, shaking his head and promising he wasn't going to sleep. In hindsight, Mike knew he loved Will back then, with his round cheeks and big eyes, his quiet and soft voice reaching him always, even when submerged by an ocean of sounds. Will's voice was always the loudest to him, and his ears naturally picked it up, as if they were made for that entire purpose.

Yeah, that seemed about right.

"If you keep staring at me like that, I'll think there's something wrong with my face."

Mike blinked, and he was met with Will's teasing smile, and only now did he realize they both stopped swinging. The wind still blew softly, and Mike felt his cheeks redden as he smiled back at him.

"Your face is just very kissable." He replied, shrugging. Will's cheeks adopted this lovely shade of red, one that Mike loved with every fiber of his being, which was precisely why winter was his favorite season.

"Yet you're not kissing it." Now Will was cocky, staring at Mike, challenging him.

However, Mike did not mind in the slightest, because there wasn't a second when Mike didn't want to kiss Will. With this in mind, Mike leaned towards his friend, his best friend, the love of his life, and gently pressed his lips against his. Warmth spread across his body, his heart hammering against his chest and he never felt more alive. Fingers gently pressed against Wills cheek, Mike slightly tilted his head, noses brushing and eyelashes tickling. The world shrinked, shrinked and shrinked, and it was just Will. Will and his beautiful eyes, his smile, his warmth. Will's warm hand fondly rubbed his shoulder, and when they parted, Mike stole a peck or two, making Will giggle once again.

"That's so romantic." Mike blurted, and Will tilted his head, confused.

"That's where we met, you know ?" He teased, and Will lightly kicked his leg, chuckling as he began swinging again, the sound of his laughter transported by the wind, and Mike promptly followed, easily matching his rythm.

"You're an idiot !" He yelled out, still flying as if he was a bird, and Mike was hopelessly devoted to him.

"That's why you love me !" He yelled back, and he was met with another laugh, an agreement, a "you're right". Mike felt so light, flying right next to Will, to new places where both of them could be whoever they wanted now that they had their whole lives ahead of them. What seemed impossible years ago was now in his hands, and Mike would keep it safe forever, if it meant having Will laugh without a care in the world.

[etclouie]

polaroid

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 summary: around Ricks birthday, you had found a working polaroid camera, and decided to give him a different type of gift. (Rick Grimes x fem!reader)

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 setting: early Alexandria era

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 warnings: younger girlfriend + established relationship, nudes + description of taking nudes, giving nudes (in the form of polaroid pictures), suggestive but no smut, rick calls reader baby (once), pretty sure the words ‘happy birthday’ aren’t used in this at all, lmk if i missed any

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 word count: 936

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 a/n: thinking of andy’s birthday so pinning this as september time

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 twd masterlist | main masterlist

you had gone out on a supply run with Rick, looking for tins of food and more medicine, as the community was running low on everything at the minute. 

searching through an unchecked row of houses Daryl had mentioned from his previous run, clearing one of the houses of walkers before beginning to skim through the cabinets and drawers. 

looking for medicine in an upstairs bathroom while Rick searched for food in the kitchen, entering the master bedroom with the en-suite bathroom. 

eyes landing on an old polaroid camera lying aimlessly on the bed, piquing your interest and surely making it’s way into your supplies bag - fully without Rick’s knowledge of course. 

the camera had ideas flooding your mind, and the memory of Rick mentioning how his birthday was nearing- or how he thought so at least, with the season change and all. 

one main idea stuck in your head, giggling to yourself at the first idea of a birthday gift for the man you love. 

finding the polaroid instant film in the top drawer of the bedside table, and also putting that in your bag before finally making your way into the bathroom as originally intended. 

opening every cabinet door in reach, and rifling through their contents. setting down every pill bottle and medical item on the counters as you continued to search, your bag set on the floor next to you. 

a soft call of Rick’s voice shouting your name had you moving to the top of the stairs to answer him back, noticing an all too familiar smile plastered across his face. 

“what?”

watching him shake his head before a low rumble sounded from his chest, setting his bag of canned food down before making his way upstairs towards you. 

mind reeling as he stalked towards you, his hands landing on your hips and pulling you against him, his lips pressing to yours and giggles spilling from your lips. 

“what’s gotten into you?”

you had questioned softly, pulling back from the kiss while his hands remained on your hips. thumbs sliding under the hem of your shirt to soothe across your skin, before he was leaning in to kiss you again, nipping at your bottom lip. 

“missed you that’s all, taking your time up here”

rolling your eyes playfully at him and untangling yourself from his arms, moving into the bathroom and gathering all the pill bottles into the bag on the floor. glancing over your shoulder to see him standing in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest. 

“let’s go then, mister impatient”

a week or so had passed since you found the polaroid camera, waiting until you had your shared bedroom to yourself and a day of no planned work to take the pictures for Ricks birthday gift. 

making sure no one else was home and locking the bedroom door, stripping yourself of your sleep clothes before standing in front of the full length mirror in the room. 

eyes raking down your figure and noting the fading marks Rick had left across your throat and inner thighs, humming appreciatively before taking a step back towards the bedside table. 

pulling out the polaroid camera from the bottom drawer and standing in front of the mirror again, lifting the camera and taking a picture. making sure all of your body was in the shot, and the fading marks were visible too. waiting for the film to process before taking another picture, copying the action a couple times until you had a couple decent pictures. 

setting all of the pictures down on the bed, and flicking your gaze over every one. eyes focusing on the one picture in particular you thought Rick would like most, lifting it and soothing your thumb across the film. 

you’d managed to pull Rick away from the rest of the group, insisting that this gift had to be given alone. thoughts flooded his mind as you led him towards your room, shutting the door behind you both. 

reaching into the bottom drawer where you kept the polaroid camera and pictures you took hidden, turning back towards Rick with a grin plastered across your face. 

“remember that run we went on last week?”

you started softly, holding up a small envelope containing the pictures and the camera in the other hand. watching as his eyebrows knitted together before he nodded slowly, your que to continue on. 

“found this camera then, and had the idea to use it to give you a special gift”

handing him the envelope as you spoke, his left pointer finger hooking under your chin to tilt your head towards you while holding the envelope in his other hand, carefully setting down the camera on the nightstand and soothing your hands across his chest. 

watching eagerly as he opened the envelope and pulled out the pictures, alongside a small handwritten note. his eyes flicking over your words before landing on the various different nudes. a low mumbled ‘fuck’ falling from his lips, his eyes raking over your naked form in the film. 

“they’re perfect, you’re perfect”

he groaned out, setting the pictures down next to the camera and turning to you. cradling your jaw in both of his hands and pulling you up into a bruising kiss, gasping under his touch before he pushed you down onto the bed. watching him crawl on top of you and holding your hands above your head. 

hips slotted against yours and legs loosely hooked around his hips, breathing heavy and his voice laced with lust as he mumbled into your ear. 

“gonna take my other gift now, yeah baby?”

requests are open here !

[lavendertales]

Sweet lies: Chapter 12

pairing: Frankie Morales x f!reader

summary: Frankie and Andrea finally open up to each other. You anxiously wait to hear the conclusion.

word count: 3.4k

warnings: allusions to sex, but nothing explicit.

A/N: happy birthday, @thevoiceinyourheadx!! hope you have a lovely day and that you enjoy this little piece here hehe❤️

Comments & reblogs are always appreciated 💕

gif: @clonecaptains

series masterlist | AO3

At six p.m., Frankie was in the airport, waiting at the gate as he said he would. Restless, he looked around for Andrea for about twenty minutes, until he finally noticed her figure in the crowd.

As opposed to other times, the smiles they both revealed this time were merely polite. There was hesitance behind them, sadness, nothing like it used to be. They could both feel the tension and the questions that begged to be answered. Their moves were mechanic, their bodies acting solely on muscle memory as Frankie got her luggage, put it in the trunk of the car, opened the passenger’s door for her, and started to drive.

They didn’t exchange many words during the one hour ride. They both knew that once they set foot inside the apartment, once filled with delusional happy memories, everything will come crashing down around them.

They walk through the door, closing it behind them, and they simply stare at each other for what feels like an eternity.

“Do you want to empty your bag?” he asks her, voice hollow, yet heavy at the same time.

Andrea smiles bitterly at him. “No. Not yet.”

Her reply, though simple, informs Frankie of her intentions. She’s not staying, he realizes. This only raises more questions, but if there was ever a time for answers, it is now.

“I have to tell you something,” Frankie begins.

His throat is dry, each time he swallows feeling like sand on paper, but he powers through it.

“What is it?” Andrea asks.

Frankie pauses. The more he looks at Andrea, the more pain washes over him, crashing inside his chest and forbidding him from breathing properly. But he knows he mustn’t go on with this charade, this game of pretend.

In the long run, it’ll be better for all of you. Honesty will prevail, he tells himself over and over again.

“Oh, come on, out with it already,” Andrea rushes him sweetly.

“There’s… someone else. I’m—there’s someone in my life that I—“

Andrea’s face drops, though not by much. There’s not much shock legible on her face, nor anger or anything negative, really, which ticks Frankie off. It’s as if she was already intuiting the words that are crumbling Frankie’s whole being. She takes a big breath, deeply, pulling even further away from him and searching his face, barely even blinking. The answer lies right before her, but it also resides in the pit of her stomach. It’s not that far of a stretch, but she allows Frankie his freedom of speech still. She reckons it’s more important for him to get this out.

“I’m in love with someone else.”

And there they are. Some of the most dreadful and harmful words known to mankind. Yet, Andrea remains unfazed, continuously staring at Frankie. He can’t tell if she’s contemplating what she’s just heard, or if she’s expecting to hear more, so he continues.

“It’s not new. It’s not because of the break. It’s always been there, clawing at my chest, buried at the back of my head and now it’s—it’s only gotten worse. I can’t hide it anymore, I can’t keep doing this to you, to us… it’s not fair. And it’s not who I am. Or not who I thought I was. I’m really sorry, Andy, I really am.”

She can tell he’s in massive distress, but she needs a real, factual confirmation of her suspicions.

“Who are you referring to?”

The question, sharply posed, strikes Frankie as some sort of attempt to diminish his feelings and place the blame on him. The blame he can take, but he won’t have Andrea or anyone tell him that what he feels is wrong. Not when it comes to you.

But Andrea is by no means a vindictive person. No, she feels just as deeply as Frankie does. And right now, she must feel taken aback, surprised, everything in between.

The groaned pronunciation of your name echoes across the room. The silence that follows is deafening, shattering both his and her eardrums, hearts speeding at the highest rates. But it had to be said, no matter how painful or hard it would feel.

And it carries no shortage of either.

“How long have you been feeling this way?”

The question surprises Frankie, tremendously so. She doesn’t sound that shocked at the revelation, which, in a way, makes Frankie feel even worse, though he does carry understanding for the woman he fought so hard to love properly—and subsequently failed.

“Since I’ve known her,” he says. “High school, when we met. I was just a coward and couldn’t tell her that. Mornings, noon, and nights I care about her. It’s… exhausting and painful. I’m so sorry, Andy. I can’t keep acting like all this is okay, like we’re not playing this big hide and seek game.”

“You seemed to be okay with us pretending to be so in love when you thought she was gone abroad and gone out of your life forever. What’s changed now? Just because she’s back in town?”

“No, it’s more than that, it’s…”

Andrea’s tone suggests genuine interest and concern, which throws Frankie off his rhythm for a bit. And it’s in that moment that Andrea comes to realize she may have just exposed herself.

“I was okay with it because I didn’t think she’d—wait a minute,” Frankie wakes up. “What do you mean we’re pretending?”

Andrea falters, gulping and breaking the eye contact at last. She’s almost twitching, tapping her leg on the wooden floor, and then it hits Frankie: a potential reason why she’s been so adamant about his confession, so understanding and calm, and why she’d suggested the breakup in the first place.

A way to confirm his own suspicions and allow both of them peace of mind.

“Is there someone else in your life?”

When she returns his gaze, he sees her eyes teary and blown out, like her worst fear had just become reality. In all honesty, Frankie resonates with that sensation, much more than he’d like his pathetic self to admit.

“Andrea,” he calls out to her. “What really happened at that conference on Valentine’s Day? That’s where it all started.”

“When what started?”

“Please. Don’t make me beg you for a confession. I told you about me. I just want us to be honest with each other.”

A tear rolls down her cheek as she approaches him again, face clearly devastated.

“Would it make you feel better about your doing, Frankie?” she mutters. “Would it make you feel better to hear me confess that I did it, too? You know what they say, two wrongs don’t make a right.”

Frankie frowns, trying to process the information that was just thrown at him, so viciously and yet deeply regretful. Suddenly, a weight is being lifted from his chest, and he can finally feel, though still shamefully so, like a man free to be himself, to be true to his own feelings.

Maybe Andrea will get to feel this way too by the end of the night.

“What happened on Valentine’s Day?” he insists.

Andrea gulps. “I was at a conference, like I said. But I—I wasn’t alone.”

Frankie nods slowly, once, twice, allowing the confession to dawn on him. It sinks in, it becomes obvious, and he feels, oddly enough or not, empathy for the woman before him. He cannot be mad for the life of him. In this moment, he sees both of them crystal clear: two people driven by cowardice in the same way, broken in others, struggling to do the right thing and ending up being miserable because of it.

“I get the feeling it wasn’t just a one-time thing,” he coos.

Andrea shakes her head shyly. “It’s—still going. It was… actually, it was going on for a while before then.”

“How long?”

“A little over a year.”

A boulder crushes Frankie when he hears that. He starts to pace around the living room, looking back at all the wedding plans they’ve been doing, all the otherwise happy moments they shared, when he thought they could at least connect on a physical level—only to have it all shattered as an illusion.

But it doesn’t make him as mad as he thought he would be. Matter of fact, it makes him feel relieved, though saddened by the lengths they had to go to in order to find an ounce of real happiness.

“With whom, if I can ask?”

“Someone from work. His name is Mark. It just happened one day in the break room. A kiss. And then it… escalated.”

“Yeah, I’m familiar with the concept.”

Seems the two have more in common that they thought, though not in the most socially acceptable way.

Frankie exhales, realizing that this might still work in both their favor if they play their cards right. That way, you won’t get the blame and it could all be circumstantial.

“So that’s why you wanted the break,” he concludes.

“He asked me to move in with him and—I panicked. I thought a break from us would help me view things more clearly, and it just messed them up even more and… I’m so sorry, Frankie. So sorry. I was… freaking out, finally realizing the magnitude of this mess and I thought it might be better… but then Mark started to beg me to end things, to do the right thing and make a choice and—“

“I know.”

“You do?”

Frankie shrugs. “The four of us have a lot in common by the looks of it.”

Andrea reaches for his hands, holding onto them like they’re a life vest.

“I never, ever wanted to hurt you,” she breaks down. “And like I told you back then, this had nothing to do with you. It’s me and all my fears and insecurities and desperate attempts to please my parents. Still. Like I’m the same little girl who’s afraid of their expectations and the pressure they’re putting on me. It’s not fair and it’s stupid, I know that.”

“But then… why insist on having the wedding back on? All of your messages said ‘we gotta make this work, no matter what’. What was the plan? Get married and you get to sneak around and shack up with Mark from work?”

Frankie acknowledges his accusatory tone, but this time he can’t help himself. He’s genuinely curious how Andrea planned to handle things.

“Because we were supposed to be the splitting image of happiness, you and me,” she replies apologetically. “The couple everyone is in awe of.”

“But it’s not the right thing, for either one of us. I doubt it would’ve worked this way. Being married and yet being madly in love with other people. Not for us, I mean. Maybe for others, but not for us.”

Frankie exhales slowly, rummaging the words. He can’t fully place the blame on the girl he was thankful for having in his life, nor can he condemn her for being in love with someone else. For all he knows, the other guy is the right choice for her.

If you love two people, choose the second one. Because if you were really in love with the first one, you wouldn’t have fallen for the second.

“Looks like we found real happiness elsewhere,” he concludes. “I really am sorry, Andrea.”

“So am I. Especially for dragging you into this whirlwind of insecurities projected by my family. This is my shit to handle, always has been. Never yours. Like you said, it’s not fair.”

“I thought I was this good, honorable man who would never cheat, but—“

“You are a good and honorable man. We were separated. I’m the cheater here, not you.”

Time stands still as he listens to her sharp words, the confession finally spilling from her tongue and out in the open.

“Can I tell you something though?” she asks. “I kind of suspected something was going on. Or rather that it might happen.”

Frankie freezes. Had he really been that obvious and careless?

“Whenever we were out, all of us, I saw the way you looked at her. The way you looked at each other. The way you’d hesitate to even hug her or be near her. A little too much struggle if you ask me. And I know because… well. I’ve done the same thing with Mark. And I knew it because you never really looked at me that way. So… blindly in love.”

“Huh.”

“Yeah.”

Another moment of silence. Andrea lets go of his hands, and Frankie feels the finality in the gesture. It all feels ultimate, at long last, freeing and shocking and painful and everything else in between.

“Obviously, this does sting,” Andrea says. “Neither one of us is that insensitive to not acknowledge that it does hurt. It’s been eight years, after all. Eight years since we’ve known each other, five years since we went out the first time. But you don’t have to carry this blame with you for the rest of your life. I am the one to blame.”

“But I—“

Andrea shakes her head. “You did nothing wrong, Frankie. Remember that. We don’t choose who we fall in love with. If it was a voluntary choice, we would’ve already been happily married.”

Frankie chuckles in embarrassment. He stares at the floor, still reeling into the guilt that’s been eating at him for the past few weeks.

“Do you love her?” she asks abruptly. “I know you’re in love with her, but do you love her?”

“I always did. It wasn’t just a hookup or a fling. I sucks to hear this, I know… but I have to say it, or I might never be okay again.”

Andrea nods, thus encouraging him to go on.

“It’s always been her,” he states. “And I think… I think her showing up here again means I got a second chance to do things right by her. To make it up to her.”

Andrea smiles. “Then make it up to her. Be there for her in all the ways you’ve always wanted to. Make it worth all of this madness.”

“I will.”

Frankie goes to hug her, both breathing properly for the first time in years.

“I’m really sorry,” Andrea mutters from his shoulder. “I never meant to hurt you.”

“I know.”

“I haven’t acted honorably at all. And it’s not because I don’t love you, because I do. It’s just—“

They separate, and Frankie gives her a sympathetic look.

“It’s not the same,” he finishes.

Her smile is bittersweet as she confirms, “It’s not the same. I’m so sorry, Frankie.”

“It’s okay. Like you said… we don’t choose our feelings. But I do love you.”

“I love you too. If my parents desperately wanted me to get married to the greatest guy they could ever meet, I’m glad it was you.”

He smiles flustered. “Thanks. Wait, so… what do we do now about the wedding? Your parents are gonna be pissed.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll handle it. It’s time I stand up to them, stop them from controlling my life and my decisions.”

“We gotta cancel it.”

“Well, unless Mark decides to propose within the next three weeks, I’m guessing we do have to cancel it, yeah.”

“Fingers crossed for the proposal then.”

They both chuckle, getting a renewed sense of friendship rather than loss. There is still mutual respect between them, a love that feels rather platonic more than anything else. At the end of the day, they realize that, while it might’ve been a messy affair, they do care about each other, enough to be honest and support each other.

“Do you love him?” Frankie asks while Andrea fumbles with her bag. “This Mark guy.”

“Is it bad to say that I really, really do?”

Frankie huffs, amused. “Not at all. I get it.”

“Oh, thank you, by the way.”

“What the hell for?”

“For having the guts to do what I couldn’t. I know firsthand it’s not easy, all that internal struggle, the sleepless nights… thank you for having enough courage for us both.”

She hugs him again, swinging the bag over her shoulder. “I’m gonna go stay with my cousin till I figure this whole thing out and uh… I guess I’ll pick the rest of my things over the weekend.”

“You can stay if you want.”

“I believe you got one more thing to do tonight. Don’t keep her waiting.”

Andrea leaves, which reminds Frankie of said thing he has to do. He grabs his phone and keys in a haste, and gets in the car.

It’s almost ten p.m. and you’re in your pajamas, on your second glass of red wine. Your mind won’t stop playing various scenarios of Frankie and Andrea and how their conversation might go. You picture it going both ways, and it’s maddening to not know anything. You resist the urge to text him anything, in spite of your raging curiosity. They need their privacy for such a tough conversation.

A knock on the door distracts you. You express your displeasure through a loud huff, but you go to open the door regardless, only to be left breathless at the sight.

“Hi,” you say.

“Hi.”

Frankie’s face is rather radiant, but you still refuse to hope for anything just yet. You can’t bring yourself to feel happy till you hear him say explicit words.

“What are you doing here?” you ask absentmindedly.

“I talked to Andrea.”

You draw in a big breath, holding it in, longing, aching.

“And?” you can barely bring yourself to ask.

He steps in, cupping your cheek and causing your whole body to tremble.

“I told you,” he says, nearly breaking into a smile. “It’s always been you.”

You finally exhale, the sound breaking into tiny little gasps as you stare at him. He goes in to hug you, holding you tight into his arms, and you close your eyes, feeling your eyes teary with happiness. It is so overwhelming that it nearly knocks you out.

You cup his cheeks, memorizing every little detail of his face in excitement, clinging onto him with a neediness you didn’t realize you had in you.

“How did Andrea take it? What happened?” you ask.

“It was… tough, but it’s over. She was very understanding. Apparently she’s been going through the same shit we have.”

Your eyes widen in surprise as you still cup his cheeks and his hands are wrapped around your waist.

“Seriously?” you ask, stunned.

“Yep. She’s been with this guy Mark for over a year.”

“Damn. How did you take it?”

Frankie huffs. “I was pretty surprised myself. But I really couldn’t blame her or be mad. We talked things through and we agreed to call off the wedding.”

“I’m sorry.”

Frankie nearly bursts into laughter. “Why?”

“I don’t know, I just… I feel responsible for turning your world upside down and causing a wedge between you two.”

“You didn’t do that, Hermosa. It would’ve been far worse to actually go through with it and then discover she’s dating someone else.”

You nod in agreement. But you also can’t deny the effect that his pet name has on you, fire spreading through your bloodstream. The sudden sensation of his hands on your waist are driving you insane; that mixed with the red wine in your veins, dangerous combination.

But for the first time, you won’t have to hold back. You won’t have to do anything in a rush, to bite down your tongue to not scream his name, and you won’t have to hide anything.

“Are you okay?” you check.

“I love you,” he tells you instead, pecking your nose.

You smile, your heart so full it might burst out of your chest.

“I love you. So fucking much.”

“So fucking much.”

You wrap your hands around his neck, pulling him in and leading him to your bedroom. You take the time to feel his lips over your skin, to feel his strong hands knead your flesh, to feel his hot breath in between your legs and to feel him inside you, moving with fervor.

For the first time in your life, you allow yourself to love Frankie Morales unapologetically and freely on that warm May evening, and so does he.

previous | next (EPILOGUE)

[lesbianandstressing]

station 19 family headcanons

i’m choosing to ignore the fact that dean is dead and surrera divorced for the sake of my own sanity

all of the station are basically siblings with ben as their father

vic is the baby and everyone is very protective of her

maya is the second youngest but doesn’t let anyone coddle her

(except for carina)

robert actually has a playful side and has pulled a few pranks on some members of the team

travis is a bit of a scaredy cat and robert loves hiding behind corners and scaring him half to death

robert once found vic crying because it was lucas’ birthday, and he was feeling very similarly

they ended up comforting each other and sharing stories about lucas

vic and andy take naps on the hoses during shifts

other team members join them sometimes

during a very slow 36 hour shift, vic took of her shoes and started sliding around the station in her socks

everyone else joined her

travis couldn’t stop falling over and it would make everyone crack up every time

dean tried to slide and look really cool but ended up falling on his ass

little pruitt miller has everyone in the station wrapped around her little finger

like nobody can say no to her

one time when jack was babysitting she had ice cream for breakfast

dean was not happy but couldn’t blame him

nerf gun wars all the time

jack brought a fully automatic machine nerf gun and started shooting

everyone had to duck for cover but theo got hit in the nose

however maya declared carina as a no shoot zone

if they even dare shoot her maya will kill them

with nerf of course

theo is actually a decent shooter, and can hit anyone without trying

jack got hit the most and was forced to clean up

lots of wrestling matches and pillow fights

dean usually starts them

maya finishes them

very physically affectionate with each other, lots of hugs and cuddles

ben always scolds them for misbehaving and causing havoc

he’s just being dad

theo, robert, and andy always speak in spanish when they don’t want anyone else to know what they are saying

carina attempts to do the same with maya in italian but maya is a lost cause with that

everyone always gets so excited when carina comes to the station with food

she’s the best at cooking and everyone knows it

dean wants his daughter to be educated in all cultures, and has andy and theo teach her about latinx culture

he also asks carina to teach pru about italian culture

pru picks up bits and pieces of both italian and spanish languages

maya once again feels outnumbered

andrew deluca’s photo is right next to captain herrera’s in the display case

despite not being a firefighter, he is still just as much of a hero

carina cried when she saw it

the team threw a party for carina when she became head of the OB department at grey sloan

maya and carina both cried

jack is such a deep sleeper that everyone loves putting random things on him while he rests

jack once woke up with everyone’s helmets covering his body

needless to say he was confused

vic put an entire chair on him while he slept

anyways i miss them

[accio-victuuri]

mini CPN post : friday sweets ( xzs’ video in hongkong + shared brands )

happy friday indeed! 🫶🏼

this is the video for reference.

xz and his beauty is totally the star of the video as well as xzs’ impeccable editing once again.

1. The most obvious thing is how 5 was emphasized early on in the video. It is a significant number for him because of his birthday 10/5, and the same goes for WYB. It’s both of their number. It also shows that numbers that his team focus on have meaning.

2. The lines mentioned in his vlog are as follows.

it’s not whether life is interesting or not, it’s because you love life, then it’s interesting.

This is such a nice quote, it’s not necessarily romantic but a nice advice for everyone.

the moon, is unique/the one and only, so are you.

So are you. I don’t really think he’s talking to us. Lol. My mind is just going back to the moon symbolism/cpn we have for them and how this reaffirms that. It’s a fascination that they both have. It’s so romantic!

3. Even the song they used for the video, it’s the OST for one of Leslie Cheung’s film - Days of Being Wild. The movie is also about the protagonist roaming around HK. He probably already watched this. and oh, it’s directed by WKW.

Days of Being Wild is a 1990 Hong Kong drama film written and directed by Wong Kar-Wai. Starring some of the best-known actors and actresses in Hong Kong, including Leslie Cheung, Andy Lau, Maggie Cheung, Carina Lau, Jacky Cheung and Tony Leung.

not really a cpn, but turtles are very fond of the potential that xz is a fan of leslie cheung. i mean what’s not to love and he is very popular after all.

It’s overall a really good video and doesn’t really need much cpn anymore 🫶🏼

tbh, the video makes me wish that they get to star in a hongkong-style film together.

As for the shared brands, this is something people have noticed. I understand if some may think that this is not CPN at all cause these are popular brands and i agree. It’s just that — this is how clowning works. 😂

P1 : YanYan wearing maison margiela

P2: ZZ staff with Chanel bag

P3: YanYan in Gucci

P4: Yibo wearing Polo ( Ralph Lauren )

so yeah, brands of the opposite person is appearing on them or their team. coincidence. 👀

-END

[sunflowerim]

I don't wanna say goodbye, 'cause this one means forever

Journal entries of our resident drama queen, Sirius Black. 12 birthdays. 12 entries. And a great deal of friendship, pining, love and heartbreak.

Wolfstar-Marauders hc. Word Count: 5155.

🌙💫

November 3rd, 1971

Dear Diary,

I am Sirius Orion Black and today is my birthday

I, Sirius Orion Black, turn 12 today.

This diary was a present from Andy for starting at Hogwarts but all these months I didn't know what to write here. Today, I asked James what he would do if he had a journal, and he said he would write about all his exciting days in Hogwarts so that it would be stored forever in pages.

I think today was pretty exciting, so I am going to start this journal, finally.

This birthday was quite different from the ones I've had before

My parents forgot to wish me. Or they just chose not to. Probably because I'm the first Black to have ended up in Gryffindor instead of Slytherin. It should have made any regular kid sad but I'm somewhat relieved.

I was not woken up by Kreacher loudly cleaning my room in the morning (because apparently, my room must be squeaky clean on birthdays even though no one really comes up here except to reprimand me for something), but instead by James jumping on my bed to wish me. It startled me a bit but the change was welcome.

I was not greeted in the morning by my mother or father who, at some point in the past few years had started saying that this day was an annoying reminder (well, they never really said it but actions speak louder than words), but instead with a freshly baked pie which James's mom had sent because he'd mentioned to her in his previous letter that it was his "best friend's birthday". I liked that too.

People in the hallways wished me and it made me very happy; unlike when people at home wished me lectured me about my noble birth and it made me want to hide in my room.

I did receive cards from Andy and Uncle Alphard AND received some more cards from a few friends. (Remus is excellent with cards by the way)

I had no idea birthdays could be this fun.

I really hope I can stay in Hogwarts for a long time.

P.S. Reggie did not wish me either and I wonder what’s up with him. I was expecting a letter from him. But then again, my birthdays have never been a big deal in the family (what with my rebellious streak and all) so I suppose that’s okay.

* * *

November 3rd, 1972

Hello journal, it's me again.

It's not that the past 365 days were not exciting; they were. I just forgot to write about them. Also, I doubt if I would have been able to fit an entire year's worth of adventures in a single journal. Yes, we indeed had THAT much fun.

I am a year older today and once again glad that no one from my family has been able to ruin this day for me this year either. Somehow they just decided not to acknowledge that I was ever born. Maybe they would if I was more like Narcissa or Bella. But who'd want to be like them? Gross. I'd much rather celebrate the day with people who truly care about me.

One thing that did upset me a little was Reggie's behaviour. He started Hogwarts this year and was sorted into Slytherin like the rest of our "noble" family, but it's like he doesn't even recognise me anymore. I know that my being sorted into Gryffindor was a matter of disgrace to the family but I don't understand what that's got to do with Reggie. We're supposed to be brothers, but whenever I look at him these days, he looks like a miniature version of our birth giver. I wonder who brainwashed him like that.

Actually I don't have to wonder. I know it was our mother.

Anyway, Lily once said that I should be more grateful for things I have rather than complain about things that displease me, so here:

I'm grateful that James and Remus are in my life.

I'm grateful for all the things they did to make my birthday special.

I'm grateful that I'm not lonely anymore.

Most importantly, I’m grateful to the Sorting Hat for putting me in Gryffindor. I would have missed out on everything if not for this.

And I'm not just saying these because Lily asked me to but because I really mean it. I'd be nowhere without James and Remus.

That's it for this year.

I will try not to ditch this journal until my next birthday.

Sirius Black, aged 13, signing off.

* * *

November 3rd, 1973

I am now 14, and I've just had the best birthday ever.

It was a stroke of luck that my birthday fell on Hogsmeade weekend. I couldn't have asked for anything better. Also because 3rd years are allowed to stay in the common room till late, I had the golden opportunity of attending two celebrations this week: the Gryffindor Halloween party and my birthday. Yes indeed, James and Remus pulled all the strings to throw me a birthday party after our already amazing day out in Hogsmeade. I have no idea how they managed to put together so much but it meant a lot to me.

James gifted me a two-way mirror so we could communicate during detentions. That's the best idea he's ever had! And Moony, a.k.a, Remus (Moony is his nickname now; reasons: non-disclosable) gave me an enlarged disc containing muggle music (apparently it's called vinyl, and we need a vinyl player to listen to it). Frank says he'll find a vinyl player for the common room so everyone can listen to muggle music in general, but I have decided that I will be the first one to listen to this particular vinyl, alone. I don't think I wanna share Moony's gift with everyone right away.

I love the presents and I love my friends.

P.S. I have resigned myself to the fact that my journal entries are indeed gonna be annual and not as regular as I had initially promised and I think it's better that way. I'll be able to keep using this diary for a long long time. Until I'm withered and old and will need to use magic to write instead of my tired hands.

P.P.S. James, Moony, and I go by the name 'Marauders' now and we've made quite a name for ourselves in Hogwarts. Not something my parents would be happy about and that's exactly what makes it so much better for me.

As for Reggie, he never tries to talk to me in school and keeps his distance at family dinners, like I am an object of disgust to him. It's gonna take some getting used to, but I suppose I'll manage as long as I have James and Moony.

* * *

November 3rd, 1974

I, Sirius Black, 15, have a major crush on Moony. I know this is my birthday journal and I shouldn't be pining away here, but I cannot talk to anyone about it and will combust if I hold it in any longer. Hence, the journal.

James got lucky. He can talk about his hopeless crush on Lily all the time without any restraints and he doesn't care if she rejects him a hundred times. I can't say the same for myself. Not to be dramatic but I'd be pretty devastated if Moony ever turned me away the way Lily does James. Some girls have asked me out this year and I did go to Hogsmeade with one of them last month, but I cannot seem to get Moony out of my mind.

Not to brag but a lot of girls asked me out for the Yule Ball too but I had zero desire to be bored so I went in with Moony. In hindsight, it might not have been the best idea because going to a 'Ball Dance' and trying to dance around with Moony had me panicking throughout. Why am I such a mess when it comes to him?

Over the year, Moony has randomly brought in more muggle music for me and I have loved every single one of them. I don't know how he knows just what I'd like. He just gets it.

Frank found a vinyl player for the common room, but the seller also had another slightly broken player which he was ready to give up for free, so of course I took it and fixed it, and placed it right next to my bed. Now I can listen to music anytime I want. But mostly I'm not alone because there's Moony who loves music just as much and he often joins me and tells me all about these muggle singers I'm constantly in awe of.

For this birthday he built me a tiny shelf for my vinyl records, the keyword being 'built'. Sometimes he amazes me like that, by doing things himself that could otherwise be done quicker with magic and I love the effort he puts in for other people (even though he tries really hard to come off as this guy who doesn't give two shits about anyone, he's secretly a softie).

The birthday surprise was amazing as usual.

The Marauders' birthday parties have started to cause some real hype in the school. Even people from other houses come in too (not Slytherin though, never Slytherin).

Anyway, for my next birthday, I hope Remus just gifts himself to me. Or maybe I should stop being a little shit and ask him out. But before any of that, I have to be sure of his feelings too. So far he's been constantly giving off the vibe that he absolutely doesn't want to date anyone which means, I have a LOT to work on until my next birthday.

Merlin, it's gonna be one long year.

* * *

November 3rd, 1975

I, Sirius Black, am 16 today, and an animagus. I'm an illegal one so technically I shouldn't even be writing it down here (like I haven't in the past 2 years of attempting to be one) but my charms have gotten stronger and nobody but me has access to this journal. Anyone else who opens the journal is only going to find blank pages.

Moony, my beloved, is a werewolf (Hence the nickname Moony. Get it? The moon? The furry little problem? Yeah). James and I found out about it in our 3rd year and since then we've been trying to learn about animagi and transformation so we could keep him company on full moons and this year we finally pulled it off. My animagus form is a dog. Not that I mind but I'm beginning to think that all the people who have called me a little bitch before, might have been onto something. Except I'm not little. I'm huge and I really really really hope that idiot Snape bumps into me someday while I’m in my dog form. I'm going to scare the living daylights out of him.

James' form is a stag with huge antlers so we're calling him Prongs. We have decided to call me Padfoot, but sometimes Moony just shortens it and calls me Pads, and my insides start to melt. When and how did I become such a sap?

Anyway, I'm an absolute coward who hasn't done anything in the past year except pine from a distance. And the pining wasn't even mutual. It’s so embarrassing. I think Lily is catching up but Moony, that oblivious idiot, never notices. I'm not persistent like James so I'm not hoping for a miracle.

My birthday was cool because duh, I'm a Marauder. Prongs got me a leather jacket. Apparently, it was Lily's idea, but she still doesn't like me enough to get me something herself. But I'm glad she at least gave the suggestion to Prongsie because boy do I look smashing in it.

Moony got me a photo frame with a picture of me, Prongs, and himself and I really had to hold back tears upon seeing the picture. A little backstory: a few months ago, the three of us had got dressed in tuxedos and went to a studio to get our picture taken, as a joke, because we were that bored. In fact, I'd forgotten about the picture until today; the picture that looks more like a family portrait than any picture in the hallway of Grimmauld Place. It looks real and is currently resting on my bedside chest of drawers, right next to the vinyl player. Merlin, I'm really soft for him. Maybe I really shouldn't bother talking about my crush on him and give up on the whole confession stuff. I don't wanna ruin what we have right now.

Signing off.

* * *

November 3rd, 1976

TURNS OUT THE PINING WASN'T ONE-SIDED AFTER ALL. GUESS WHO ISN'T BITCHLESS ANYMORE? THAT'S RIGHT! ME!!!

Long story short: a few months ago on Moony's birthday, we almost had a moment I guess. His birthday party had just ended and people were slowly leaving the common room and trailing back to their respective dorms and the two of us were sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace. I was tired and I almost dozed off resting my head on Moony's shoulder (!! internal screaming !!) and I think he was carding his hands through my hair (!! internal screaming intensifies !!). Anyway, a slight tug on my hair woke me up and he was like 'Don't fall asleep here let's go back to the dorm'. I will never understand what possessed me at that moment but I ended up saying, "Let's stay like this for a little while. Please." And the way he looked at me after hearing that, oh Merlin. I cannot describe it in words but it was enough to give me the confidence I'd been needing for months, and I actually pulled him closer by tugging at his shirt and I'm almost sure I'd have kissed him if Prongsie didn't choose that moment to come down looking for us. I love him to death, but at that moment, I really wanted to punch his face. The spell was broken and Moony pulled back and I faked a yawn in an attempt to be nonchalant.

But ever since then, there has been this tension between us. I think I had finally made him stop and think about things and probably recently, he finally came to a conclusion because last night at 12 after Prongs had gone back to sleep in his bed after wishing me, Moony stayed back on my bed and following some awkward small talk, actually kissed me!!

And then guess what he said?

"I hope that's okay."

Well duh, of course it's okay Moons. It's me, and it's you, so it'll always be okay.

I was too stunned to say any of it though, so I just kissed him back to make him understand that I wanted this too. That I had waited ages for this moment.

I am mad blushing as I write this. This is embarrassing.

I will not go into any further details but yeah I'm really happy today.

Another important event that happened in the past few months is that I ran away from home after last Christmas. Yes, it finally happened and I was backed by the Potters. I live with them now and I'll forever be grateful for that. On top of that Uncle Alphard had left me all his money which I could access once I turned 17, so now I'm not financially dependent on anyone (which is very important to me). Again, I shall not go into details regarding why I ran away from home because it's gonna ruin the vibe of this journal. That's something I'd rather not vent about.

Anyway, it's been better since then. The Potters take care of me. Prongs takes care of me. And Moony takes care of me. A lot. Even Lily isn't as rude. I hope things stay this way for a long long time.

Happy 17th indeed.

* * *

November 3rd, 1977

Lily and Prongs started dating this year. I wanna say I saw it coming, but that would be a lie. I think I was almost as surprised as Prongs was.

I'd thought I would be spared from Prongs ranting about Lily once they start going out and at least have the last year at school free of "Lily this"and "Lily that", but I was wrong. If anything, it has increased. But it's okay because hearing him talk about random things while the Wizarding World is slowly heading toward destruction and war is calming at times. It also seems like he's become more responsible over the past year. It suits him.

Moony and I are okay, but I'm worried about him. With the current insurgence of dark power, it feels like only a matter of time before people start coming for him. But one thing's for sure, I'll protect him with everything I have. He probably doesn't need it but the very thought of something happening to him keeps me up at night.

We've all decided to join Dumbledore once school is over to fight death eaters and You-Know-Who. I'd imagined a safe and happy future with my friends and I'm willing to fight anything that stands in its way.

I was not in the mood to celebrate my birthday but because it's my last one in school I didn't protest. We still have fun but it's overshadowed by this constant fear of something happening to the people you love. We live among enemies. We go to classes with people who might potentially join the dark side and it's hard to ignore such thoughts.

I think I would have lost my mind without Moony beside me.

I love Moony and he loves me and we've decided to live together after school is over. I don't want us to stay apart in times like this.

I genuinely feel responsible for the people around me. Maybe I really did grow up after all. We've all grown up. 11-year-old Sirius would be surprised to see 18-year-old Sirius now.

On another note, I finally lost patience with Reggie. I found him torturing younger students because they were "half-bloods" and at that moment I could see our mother in him. Nothing could have prepared me for that image of him. I interfered and overpowered him, which resulted in a burst of insults; everything that our mother would have said in that situation, word for word. Maybe I should have started fighting him from the day he started calling Remus names because of the half-blood bullshit, but Remus always used to stop me. But this time, Remus wasn't around and I was not having it. I would have fought him again if not for Prongs and Lily, who were then doing their rounds as Head Boy and Head Girl. I'm glad they stopped me though, because, despite the anger, I was too hurt and was very close to tears which is the last thing I'd have wanted Reggie to see. I never thought things would turn out like this between us.

* * *

November 3rd, 1978

School is over and I'm currently living with Moony. I feel more at ease somehow now, than when I was at school. I suppose it's because I don't feel helpless anymore. James and I started our Auror training and with every passing day we're becoming stronger. I can fight death eaters and I am capable of protecting other people. Moony couldn't join Auror training because he cannot be involved with the Ministry but he's been carrying out other missions for the Order of the Phoenix, aka the face of the fight against You-Know-Who.

My birth family, as expected, has joined the dark side. The Blacks are supposedly among the biggest supporters of You-Know-Who and I've faced immense backlash because of the name I carry.

Living with Moony is one of the only comforting things in my life right now. We've moved into a small house close to the Potters and after a whole day of meetings and missions, I am so grateful for his warmth next to me.

A lot of my friends from school joined Dumbledore and the Order of the Phoenix and I see them regularly. We hang out sometimes like we did today for the impromptu birthday celebration Moony put together for me. But it feels like a privilege we can't afford. Not yet. Not when death eaters are running loose and You-Know-Who is gaining power.

* * *

November 3rd, 1979

James and Lily got married at the end of last year!! And of course I was James' best man. Their getting married has given me a new sort of hope that things will be okay. They have to be. So that Moony and I can get married at some point too. And we'll all be happy. After such a shitty childhood, I deserve to be happy.

On top of everything, Lily is pregnant, which means things will have to get better very soon. James Jr. deserves to be born into a peaceful world. I am going to make sure the kid doesn't have to go through what we all did.

Moony and I don't get to spend much time together these days because of our missions and it's hard but it's a price we have to pay to secure the lives of our loved ones. Being an Auror helps me with that. I'm 20 today but I feel much much older.

* * *

November 3rd, 1980

We lost James' parents to dragon pox. They left before little Harry arrived.

Reggie is dead. So are my parents. Reasons unknown. But I'm pretty sure they got into trouble with the Ministry like most other death eaters.

Anyway, that doesn't matter now. What matters is that I have to protect James, Lily, and Harry. I won't let the war orphan him like it did James and me.

The Dark Lord is after Harry. There's apparently a bullshit prophecy that states that Harry will be able to kill him and so that moron is after a literal baby. And guess who relayed that prophecy to the Dark Lord? Fucking Snape. I knew he was bad but how evil do you have to be to do something like that?

James and Lily are to go into hiding and I am to be their secret keeper. Dumbledore said he might change the secret keeper because everyone is going to suspect that I know about it. After all, I'm close to them and if I get captured, they might torture me to get their location out of me. I know I won't give in to torture but we're trying not to take any risks.

It's not going to be Moony either. Dumbledore has sent him on a lot of missions to try and bring other dark creatures to our side and every time Moony comes back from those missions, he seems a little different. I find it hard to communicate with him these days. It might be my paranoia speaking but I am not ready to take any risks. Moreover, after me, Remus is going to be the prime suspect of being the secret keeper. So we can't risk that. I've relayed as much to Dumbledore and we will be choosing someone unsuspecting.

Turning 21 was supposed to be fun but 'fun' is something I can't even imagine anymore when I go to work every morning and round up death eater after death eater or when I find myself staring frozen at the occasional familiar name on the list of casualties.

It seems stupid to write all this down in a journal but my head will explode if I cannot vent about all that goes on in my head, so in a way, I'm glad this journal exists.

* * *

November 3rd, 1995

It's hard to believe that this journal still exists and that it has been 15 years since my last entry. I showed it to Moony yesterday and he said I should try writing again. Might be good to vent. So here goes,

I turned 36 today. But James and Lily aren't here to see me now.

We lost them to the war 14 years ago.

I couldn't save them but I wanted to rescue and take in their son, Harry, my godchild. But I couldn't even do that because I was convicted of murder. They really went ahead and put me on trial for the murder of my best friends and everyone just stood and watched. Funny how easy it was for all of them to forget that James and I were brothers once they looked at the cursed name I carried : Black.

I'm ashamed to admit that I had suspected Remus of being a spy. That I had distrusted him which led to the real spy taking advantage of it. That spy, who of all people had ended up becoming the Secret Keeper for James and Lily and consequently revealed their location to You-Know-Who, who reached them and they sacrificed their lives to protect little Harry…

I don't think I can write at length about the plethora of emotions I have on this subject. It still hurts to think about it.

You-know-who too died that night supposedly but he's back now and we are approaching another war, hopefully to end things for good this time, and I swear on my life, I'll protect the ones I love. I couldn't save James and Lily but I won't let anything happen to Harry. Moony and I will see to that.

I had been shipped off to Azkaban and I stayed there for 12 years until I made my escape 2 years ago. I will not go into details about that either, for the sake of my sanity.

Speaking of people I love, it took some time, but I think Moony and I have been able to navigate through our misunderstandings. I've altered the spell on the journal so Moony can have access to it too if he wants. This journal is possibly the only keepsake we have of our childhood together. I told him that he may read it some years down the line.

About Harry, I don't know where to start. I love that kid to death and I'll never forgive all the people who made his life this miserable. If I had known the kind of life my Godson was forced to lead, I'd have made my escape sooner and rescued him. Both Moony and I had been under the impression that he was taken care of, so he stayed away from Harry's life and I thought about him from a distance. There's only one person I'm blaming for this - Dumbledore. We were stupid for entrusting him with everything.

One day, when the war is over, I hope we can all live in peace. Harry, Moony, and me. But for now, I'm just really worried because Harry always has this tendency to dive head-first into trouble and I'm too scared to lose him. I'll have to give him some serious talk soon.

About James and Lily, it feels like I'm being repeatedly stabbed with a dagger every time I try to talk about them. When we were in school, James used to say that he hoped he'd never have to outlive any of us. That he couldn't handle the thought of being left behind. Who knew his words would come true like that? It's been 14 years but the wounds are as fresh as ever. Some grief, you aren't supposed to move on from.

Anyway, time to wrap it up. Harry and his friends are going to come over in the evening to see me and I'm so thankful for the time I get to spend with him. And Moony.

P.S. Moony if you ever decide to read this, know that I love you. That I have always loved you. That I spent every moment in Azkaban regretting my decisions. I'm sorry that I let my paranoia get the better of me and blindsight me to all that I held dear. I hope you can forgive me.

* * *

November 3rd, 1996

I'm not sure I can do this but I think it would be wrong to not continue this birthday journal.

Sirius.

How could you do this to me? To Harry?

How could you leave us a second time?

The war is still going on but your absence is eating me up from the inside. Every place I go, screams your name. We were all supposed to survive the war, you idiot. You were supposed to continue writing in this journal till you were old and withered. You can't just not keep your word.

Just when I'd finally made peace with your long absence, you came back into my life and made me realise that I never truly had moved on. How can I go through that again? I'm not ready to say goodbye. Not again. Not when you did not spend enough time with me. We've been apart longer than we were together and I hate it.

Harry has been inconsolable and more reckless than ever. Losing you really shook him to the core and I don't know what to tell him when I can't even deal with this myself. I'm losing my mind at the suddenness of it all. All I can do is keep fighting so more people don't have to lose their loved ones. The fight at the Ministry was like fuel to the fire and the war is on the way to reach full scale soon. I don't know if I'll survive this but I do know that I will ensure the safety of as many as I can.

Against my better judgement, I did end up reading your whole journal, and Pads it hurts. It hurts so much. The way I'd give anything to get back our time together in school.

To get back James, Lily, and you.

Come back.

I think it was cruel of you people to leave me alone, to make me arrange and attend all your funerals, to make me go through all this heartbreaking ordeal. To leave me nothing but your gravestones to talk to. There's only so much grief I can hold.

You just wait till I see you again.

I remember you saying that 'Dust thou art, to dust returnest' only applied to us 'earthlings' and that you'd just go back to the star you came from. It sounded like a harmless joke in school but now I just hope I can reach you wherever you are, Pads.

I cannot continue any further but I'm somewhat relieved I could add one more entry to this, that this journal could have a closure.

Happy Birthday Pads. I Love You. And goodbye I'll see you soon.

Yours forevermore,

Moony.

🌙💫

A/N: I won't say that this song inspired the whole fic but towards the end I thought that the grief I wanted to portray with this fic resonated perfectly with how this song makes me feel so I listened to it again and it kinda helped me articulate things better.

And this is the cover I was obsessively listening to while writing the last entry :

P.S. To anyone struggling with grief and loss right now, I hope that you can be okay eventually. And I hope that it can get better someday soon , if not now. Please take care.

My Other Works

[reneebrandxn]

[Ciswoman, she/her] Welcome to Aurora Bay, [RENEE BRANDON]! I couldn’t help but notice you look an awful lot like [AJ COOK]. You must be the [FORTY-ONE] year old [DOCTOR]. Word is you’re [NURTURING] but can also be a bit [OVEREXERTING] and your favorite song is [PERFECT BY P!NK]. I also heard you’ll be staying in [SEABROOK QUARTER].

Name: Renee Brandon Age: 41 Birthday: February 21st, 1983 (Pisces) Job: Doctor Family: Two sons, Oliver (6) and Henry (4), Husband Andy (deceased) Status: Widowed

Biography:

TW: Death

Renee Noel Brandon was born and raised in a small town in upstate New York. She was the oldest of three girls and although they were a very happy family, Renee also knew that she was being held to a higher standard than her younger sisters. Their parents were constantly busy with their businesses, which left Renee to take care of her sisters after school. She learned to cook fairly young, helped them with their homework, treated all the cuts and bruises, broke up fights and once she learned to drive, was in charge of getting them to and from school and other activities. Somehow she managed to do all of this while padding her resume for college. Renee was academically gifted and a natural athlete and her senior year, she earned a full ride scholarship to college to play soccer for Virginia Tech. It was tough to say goodbye to her family, but after taking care of her sisters for so long, she was glad to get away and do something for herself.

Her freshman year, Renee wasn’t sure what she wanted to study. She had been so focused on getting into college and taking care of her sisters she hadn’t really thought about what she wanted to be when she grew up. She maybe thought about becoming a famous soccer player but she knew that as much as she enjoyed soccer she wasn’t overly passionate about it. It was only in her second semester when she took biology and human anatomy for her undergraduate requirements did she realize that she was fascinated and truly passionate about medicine. It made sense – she had always taken care of people growing up. This way she could help them as an adult. She graduated with a degree in Pre-Med and was quickly accepted into the medical program.

A year into her program, she met Andy Brookes. He had transferred from Texas to attend the med school in Virginia. The two became fast friends, however their feelings grew and the following year, they entered into a relationship. The day they both graduated from the program, Andy proposed. He didn’t want them to grow apart. Of course, she said yes and the following year they were married. Renee got a job as a doctor in the hospital while Andy joined the military as an officer to practice medicine. Life seemed perfect – and then she found out she was pregnant with their first son, Oliver. Renee offered to drop her career to take care of their new bundle of joy but Andy knew that Renee loved what she did and didn’t want her to give up that. Andy planned to get out of the military and be the stay at home dad, he just had to finish his contract in a few years. The year he was supposed to get out, Renee found out she was pregnant again. Andy promised he would do whatever it took to get out faster, but he came down on orders to deploy and a month into her pregnancy, he left.

Andy had been gone for four months when she got a knock at the door. Renee would never forget that day when the Coronel and the Chaplain informed took her into her living room and told her the news - Andy had been killed by an IED. Just like that, her life flipped. She was left alone to take care of everything. Of her sons, one born and the other arriving soon.

They stayed in Virginia for as long as they could, but eventually, Renee needed a new start. She couldn't keep living in the house haunted by happy memories of her and her husband. Knowing that one of her sisters had moved to Aurora Bay, she got herself a job at the hospital there and moved her family, looking for a fresh start.

Headcanons:

Renee is fiercely protective of her sons. The loss of their father was hard on her oldest and she tries to keep their youthfulness and optimism protected.

She still wears hers and Andy's wedding rings on a chain around her neck.

Has not spoken to her parents. They have basically been gone from her life since she moved out. They didn't even show up to her wedding or to the birth of either of her sons. For all intents and purposes, they are dead to her.

Still keeps in contact with her two sisters.

[dailylooneys]

Happy 118th Birthday Arthur Davis (1905 - 2000)

One of the most underrated cartoon directors at Warner Bros. own Termite Terrace.

Davis first started at WB as one of Frank Tashlin’s animators up until Tashlin left to pursue his direction in live-action films, then became Bob Clampett’s animator.

He is perhaps best known by fans today as, what I call, the “Second Bob Clampett” of Warner Bros. post-Clampett. Inheriting Clampett’s old unit, sharing many artistic similarities to Clampett’s famously rubbery and elastic directional style, however, Davis’s animation was significantly slightly watered-down, it was still rubbery, but bouncy and emphasized quite heavily on drybrush effects. 

Naturally, it was Davis who completed a few of Clampett’s cartoons after leaving the studio, such as “Bacall to Arms” (his directorial debut), “The Goofy Gophers” (Mac & Tosh’s first appearance) and “The Big Snooze” (written by Clampett himself). 

Interestingly, in an interview with Milton Gray, Davis himself admitted to not understanding Clampett’s humor. Davis was also insecure of the strength of the writing in his cartoons as he put more focus on the animation and gags if he feared the writing was mediocre (but that was NOT AT ALL the case).

Davis is noted for directing only ONE Bugs Bunny short, Bowery Bugs, as there was a rule that new directors were unable to touch the cartoon studios' biggest star until they have proven themselves worthy of directed a Bugs cartoon, which also explains why Frank Tashlin, also well, directed only TWO Bugs Bunny shorts (The Unruly Hare and Hare Remover), and why Davis did more one-shots than shorts with major characters (however, this rule didn’t seem to apply to McKimson whose first cartoon star WB’s second most popular star, Daffy Duck in Daffy Doodles).

Davis’s characteristics in his cartoons, when doing either one-shots or any of the established characters, was, again similar to Clampett, as well as Robert McKimson. Davis’s take on Bugs and Daffy were close to Clampett and early-to-mid 40s’ Jones, both being wacky screwballs at their best, while Davis’s Sylvester was drastically different from the more familiar Freleng Sylvester. Davis’s Sylvester was depicted as a dimwit with a simpleton voice in “Catch as Cats Can” and once portrayed Sylvester as silent and having a unnamed brother in “Doggone Cats”. 

Later on, because of budget cuts, Davis reluctantly produced his short in Cinecolor instead of Technicolor, which was already standard for theatrical Hollywood cartoons.

Sadly, after a total of 23 shorts (ending with “Bye, Bye, Bluebeared” and his film “A Ham in a Role” being done by Robert McKimson), Davis was no longer in the directors’ chair when WB decided to do, again, budget cuts at their cartoon studio. Friz Freleng offered Davis the opportunity to be his animator without the use of his distinctly energetic animation we’ve come to associate his and Clampett’s cartoons with as the budgets got tighter and tighter. As later into the early 1960s, Davis directed “Quackodile Tears“, which was only the slow beginning of WB cartoons dark ages, and the end of an era for Hollywood animation.

Afterwards, Davis was an animator at Walter Lantz Productions (famous for Woody Woodpecker, Andy Panda and Chilly Willy), continued his directional work at DePatie-Freleng Enterprise (famous for creating the Pink Panther), then at Hanna-Barbera (coincidentally was one of the directors for the first season of A Pup Named Scooby-Doo, which I’m sure he got a kick out of), continued to animate on later Looney Tunes-related projects like The Yolks on You and Daffy Flies North (1980). He retired afterwards in 1988 and died on May 9th, 2000.

Courtesy of Cartoon Research https://cartoonresearch.com/index.php/an-art-davis-scrapbook/

A drawing Davis did when he was getting a heart bypass surgery. Here, is a caricature of a nurse who the WB character fawn over in 1980.

Davis-directed shorts:

 Bacall to Arms (1946)

The Big Snooze (1946) 

 Mouse Menace (1946) 

The Goofy Gophers (1947) 

The Foxy Duckling (1947) 

Doggone Cats (1947) 

Mexican Joyride (1947) 

Catch as Cats Can (1947) 

Two Gophers from Texas (1948) 

What Makes Daffy Duck (1948) 

A Hick a Slick and a Chick (1948) 

Nothing but the Tooth (1948) 

Bone Sweet Bone (1948) 

The Rattled Rooster (1948)

Dough Ray Me-ow (1948)

The Pest That Came to Dinner (1948)

Odor of the Day (1948)

The Stupor Salesman (1948) 

Riff Raffy Daffy (1948) 

Holiday for Drumsticks (1949) 

Porky Chops (1949) 

Bowery Bugs (1949) 

Bye, Bye Bluebeard (1949) 

Quackodile Tears (1962)

[hoardlikegoldenirises]

I’ve edited my timeline a bit (a lot...) and the old version of this drawing just wasn’t really useful for me anymore because of certain changes etc. so i finally expanded it a LOT so i have a better idea of what flash’s hair should look like.

(while peter stays mostly the same XD he’s just not interested in experimenting with his hair i guess)

putting some individual bits (well, groups of 3-4) below the cut:

Flash in his late teens; his only form of hairstyling in high school was buzzcuts from his mom so i just wrote “high school” instead of an age lol... once he goes off to college he starts growing his hair out and by the time he loses his legs that’s about what it looks like (18ish), and then the one with the hello kitty shirt is about a year later, how he looks by the time he’s 19 and a half... then a few months later he buzzes it all off after some stuff happens that upsets him, that i won’t go into here but will be uploaded to the AO3 series as a fic later. short version is “he has a revelation about himself and gender that he’s really, really not ready to deal with and locks himself back in the closet” (not that he was really out of the closet but he was rolling around in 2006 wearing a hello kitty shirt and nail polish lol) so yeah he ends up depressed again, and drinking more (still not legally old enough to drink but he has his fake id and other ways of getting it, of course) and trying to be Outwardly Masculine like he was before :(

oh i’ll also note—since it’s not visible in these busts lol—flash has of course been using a wheelchair since he was 18 and a half, which is obviously because of the events in “these are not the clothes [...]” where doc ock crushes his legs... so aside from the teenage stuff, he’s in a rigid wheelchair throughout this entire au—i decided against him ever getting prosthetic legs because initially he is young enough that growth is still a partial factor, on top of prosthetic legs already being even more expensive than wheelchairs and already requiring multiple fittings in the early stages even for adults who are totally done growing, and then later they’re just like... poor... plus not being on his dad’s insurance after a certain age (esp. after being kicked out but i don’t think he was disowned)... even by the time he and peter get married and flash is on peter’s health insurance i doubt they’d be able to afford a pair of otk prosthetic legs on the salary of one full time teacher and one part time assistant gym teacher lol—that shit’s like tens of thousands PER leg... even with insurance i doubt they’d be able to throw together something like 20k-40k (or more) for prosthetic legs on top of being due to replace flash’s wheelchair... granted they do have rich friends (and my headcanon in 616 is that harry and/or liz are probably the ones who helped pay for flash’s mobility aids in the first place) but imo neither are the type to want to go asking for money, regardless of harry or liz’s willingness to give it to them... and being like, “hey can i have $40,000?” is a BIG ask lmao

ANYWAY Flash is still kind of in a rough place in his early 20s, but starts to get better and feel okay with the things that made him feel happy before, so his hair starts growing out again and he busts out the spidey choker but not the nail polish. am considering having andi be a character around this time (though obvs she’d be like... 10) but not sure about how i want to do that... or if i’ll ever write it XD def still having drinking problems as he gets actually legally old enough to drink but less depression = less drinking for him, to some extent... his beachy curls are just the cutest though

not pictured: flash converts to judaism in 2010 (along w/ his mother and sister)

(2011 necklace just a regular fine silver chain necklace peter got him for his birthday)

mid 20s flash is a lot happier and starts wearing nail polish again, as well as getting his associate’s degree and also starting the *other* AA (alcoholics anonymous) or a similar program happening kind of concurrently with some other stuff (Harry’s also been going through it which partially leads to flash realizing he wants to change some things in his life) and also just because he’s so busy with school and other stuff that it’s really just become a lot more impractical for him to drink as much, and with the support of aunt may and peter and his friends he’s getting a lot better about his drinking and also a lot more comfortable with himself and his sexuality and gender presentation now that he’s had time to think about it more and not be so afraid. turns out 7 years away from your abusive father helps a lot... also harrison specifically has had kind of poor health and while idk if flash is even in contact with him anymore, if he is then, that might contribute to flash being like, fuck i don’t want to be like that...

anyway he gets job as an assistant gym teacher at midtown around the same time peter gets a job there (though peter’s been teaching already for a few years while getting his masters, but he was teaching at a school near chelsea instead of in queens)... Flash puts his hair up at work but at home it’s like, :> girly time.

and peter proposes when they’re 26, cause he’s been thinking about how that stuff has been legal in nyc for a couple years (since 2011) and just. he’s peter. he wants to get married. he’s a wife guy. i doubt flash says yes IMMEDIATELY because he has some hang-ups related to his home life growing up and peter and him haven’t always had the smoothest relationship, so understandably he isn’t ready to say yes immediately .... but like... they’ve been exclusive for a few years on top of some off-and-on stuff in their early 20s, and peter has seen him in some of his worst, most rock-bottom moments in life as well as helping him realize who he is inside, and still loves him, so he says yes.

also around this time, along with the convo about if marriage is the right fit, they have a convo about flash’s ... “identity issues” and talk about that and make good strides there. peter helps flash embrace that aspect of himself, especially now that peter’s mature enough to be capable of supporting flash without being pushy or aggressive or expecting him to just magically be grateful LOL—my, how they grow up XD so this is when they first start experimenting with feminine terms of endearment (at least on purpose) and stuff like... well, they’re engaged so i guess it’s just fiance LOL so not girlfriend. “wife-to-be.” and other more uh. nsfw things 😂

(the blue pendant necklace is a wedding gift from felicia)

they get married, still 26 because their wedding is in the spring and flash’s birthday isn’t until june and peter’s is in october, but like, ALMOST 27, the long hair is definitely what flash has at 27 following the wedding, and then the even longer hair is around the time the man-spider fic is taking place and has grown out a lot.

i’m still using he/him pronouns for flash in the man-spider fic as of my most recent edits, but i actually am not 100% sure what the deal is with that. i think there are lot of feminine terms of endearment in the privacy of their home, and i’ve had felicia call flash a pretty girl, and even tossed in a “wife” in a recent edit of ch 1, but flash isn’t really publicly out... “boy mode at work” as the doodle says lol. there’s always a chance i go back and edit pronouns. we’ll see how that shakes out. i think when flash is somewhere around mid-40s that might shift over to like, more feminine everything... a more comprehensive social transition i guess

then the late 40s one is mostly an estimate of like, this might be what flash looks like in 20 years... but idk for sure. wife city. a couple of white hairs but she’s not going gray as much as peter is lol

also—re the wedding stuff: originally there was no yarmulke for flash’s wedding outfit but i recently committed to flash asking his mother about their heritage (in “last week [...]”) with the idea that maybe his mom’s side is jewish or used to be jewish (but that there’s been a lot of intermarriage) and now have decided flash converts in 2010, so not an interfaith ceremony, just a jewish one.

here are their wedding rings. peter proposed without a ring but after they talked through if marriage was the right step for them and flash agreed to it, flash also eventually asked if he could get an engagement ring... because gender. so they buy a really small, simple one that doesn’t attract too much attention but still has a little tiny diamond... peter offers to wear one too but it’s not very practical for his line of work (spidey lol) so they end up just getting the one for flash. and then their wedding bands match but flash’s is skinnier just cause he doesn’t want to draw too much attention to the set. like it’s a small, happy thing for him, but that doesn’t mean he wants randos staring at his rings (and also they’re not exactly wealthy on a single full time teacher’s salary + a part time assistant gym teacher’s salary to support them and pitch in for aunt may...)

i can see peter getting an anniversary ring for flash eventually too... maybe 10 year...

also as a sidenote, i just wanted to say i def agree that peter doesn’t need to be married to be an adult or be mature, and that it’s weird when people boil it down to “peter has to be married to be an adult.”  the problem with comics right now isn’t that he isn’t married, but rather the circumstances for why it was decided that they had to end that relationship, and the way he is watered down into a nothing character with no personality and no flaws who isn’t allowed to swear or drink in the name of Mascot-ification while his dark hair and features are made lighter and more generic (arguably more aryan) (latter also a problem with flash and why i only draw flash with curly or wavy red or strawberry hair now instead of the straight yellow blonde he’s been given over the past 20 years)

ANYWAY

what i’m saying is that while marriage shouldn’t be the only way for a romance to continue, etc. and emulating traditional gender roles and marriage roles is not the only way to be in love etc. i do think peter is a wife guy (and how many times has his first solution to literally any problem with a woman has been “oh no i have to propose”?) so i think in this case it’s warranted, and peter being like, well, gay marriage is legal... and we both have jobs at the same school now... and we’re probably gonna move soon... maybe we should get married.... makes sense to me 😂 especially considering things like healthcare and the fact that flash is no longer young enough to stay on his dad’s insurance... and peter is very much a protective (overprotective) person who wants to take care of the people he cares about... makes sense that he’d be like, i love you, i want to be with you for as long as possible, let me take care of you better

but also: me smushing fictional characters together like barbies: teehee wedding

me giving flash longer and longer hair and more feminine presentation could also be talked about as like, trans people don’t need to emulate traditional gender roles—but i like when flash has long hair and i think it looks pretty and cute. but also frankly part of the reason i gave flash long hair is less to do with gender presentation and more to do with the fact that i grew up in a family where 4/5 of my uncles grew their hair out long as adults specifically because they’d all had buzzcuts their whole childhood and adolescence so growing their hair out was a way for them to assert their personhood lol

and i think that applies to flash here too, in addition to the genders and long hair as a form of feminine androgyny

as for peter:

i drew a lot less for him XD his hair is mostly the same 2-3 styles cause he doesn’t care that much about fashion whereas flash has the whole Queerness and Gender thing going on. (otherwise i wouldn’t have given him like 10 hairstyles LOL)

late teens and early 20s, peter starts to loosen up a little bit with his hair as he gets older and more adult... he also loosens up his clothing for all of five seconds because with the symbiote when he’s 17-18 (mostly 18) he doesn’t need to hide a suit under his clothes, it just exists, so 18 is his “slutty button-downs” era XD  but then a few months before he turns 19 he loses the symbiote so it’s back to buttoned-up collars and turtlenecks and stuff... but sexy instead of nerdy. also he shaves his awful teenage boy barely-a-mustache.

that era of looser hair and more tightly done casual clothes is also around when flash goes back to trying to be masc and he and peter are separated (both in terms of peter living away from aunt may’s house and also in terms of not dating) for a little while.

but, early 20s is also when peter and flash get back together after a couple years and enter a steady relationship—when they’re around 21, 22 years old? and that happens kind of concurrently with flash figuring himself out with less fear, and peter helps with that a little bit. so as peter starts getting shaggier and less uptight, flash also starts to relax and grow his hair out. so they get shaggy hair together 😌 (though flash’s is def longer, peter just needs to go get his hair cut more often XD)

mid-20s, you can see Pete has gotten shaggy as he loosens up! but then some shit happens over a span of ~3 months that’s not great that i won’t get into here (see this post ) and he ends up hospitalized etc... after that, he gets his hair cut once he’s doing better, and keeps it pretty short and tidy from here on out as a way to, i guess... have some control over his life. it makes him feel better to be clean-shaven, neatly coiffed, etc. so from his mid-20s onward he’s permanently said goodbye to the baby mullets.

and then like i said he doesn’t go through as many hairstyles so i didn’t bother drawing out 10 different variations of his mid-20s haircuts... cause they’re all roughly the same but with varying levels of bang length depending on when the last time he got a haircut was XD

so skipping to 26/27 for the wedding stuff, and then 28 for man-spider... he’s matured now.... (damn wish i was that put-together at 28, my life’s a mess😂) so in man-spider they’ve been married for a little over a year (rough strain on the second year of marriage 😅) and then after it, he looks mostly the same but is a little bit fuzzier (even more?!) and has slightly pointier teeth.

and then in his 40s aka DILF with bad facial hair era, his hair will start going PRETTY gray pretty quickly... with that white streak... his hair is gonna be more silvery than flash’s as they age, partly cause of the stress of being spider-man and partly cause silver fox suits him lol

(not that flash hasn’t had stressful stuff happening too but it’s a little different)

and yes i gave him stupid facial hair, as is his right. any middle aged peter needs some kind of dorky goatee or mustache, that’s just the rules okay. i almost gave him a beard but i didn’t like the way it looked XD (also a beard under the mask seems unpleasant)

he dies at 49.

i drew this anyway:

I mostly just wanted to doodle that cause I thought it was cute but like... Peter gets gunned down before he even hits his 50th birthday. like literally a few weeks before he turns 50. It’s tragic but not surprising in the end and probably something they were a little prepared for considering everything that happens in their life together. at least flash will be a hot milf widow. (except she dies of a broken heart on his birthday instead) (aka a heart attack + a fall in the middle of the night)

i’ve just been thinking about that scene in asm500 where future peter gets taken out by a literal swarm of cops and a sniper... though that universe obviously has its own stuff going on and implies peter kinda goes bad, and i’m not really looking to do that to him or flash (as much as i like a Killer Spidey, i don’t think it’s the right fit here) we’ll see... i just know i want to re-emphasize that peter will treat flash with love, gentleness, and tenderness up until his last breath... wifeguy til the end. i think maybe fisk is involved or something...

anyway misc doodles from the past two years:

tfw you turn from a circle to a dorky teenager into being chiseled

i’ll also note that peter has a lot of issues ... like a lot... and he was already a temperamental teen but he has some serious anger and other issues as a teenager due to sexual trauma as a 12 year old :( poor kid. you can see mentions of that in the stuff i have posted; peter’s mostly coping as an adult but sometimes it creeps back out... :/ contributed to his antisocial behavior in high school for sure. also he hit puberty so hard XD his voice dropped like three octaves between age 12 and age 18 lmfao

added flash onto this older drawing so i could have a comparison of the way they grew... they both had major growth spurts but flash’s happened when he was around 13 and peter’s didn’t hit until 16-ish (well no he had a smaller growth spurt around 12-13)... a couple of angry children XD... also edited this to make ben shorter cause i realized i made him like. very tall on accident. but closer to 5′11″ here instead of like 6′2″ XD

and peter’s spidey suits over the years... first costume is dorkier and also a little more silver age styled, then black suit as an 18 year old and then he makes a new suit since he’s bigger after losing the black suit, and needs something better and more durable... has also filled out a LOT by 19/20 lol now he’s got that booty... and i think his suit probably tends to be some variation on that suit throughout his adulthood...

i’ll note that originally i planned for the black suit to be a little earlier but some stuff changed, so peter probably shouldn’t be QUITE that gangly and thin in the black suit. but otherwise it’s mostly right.

i also have this variant (with bonus six arms style) which i like a lot too though for all of these i don’t actually love the spider logo’s look ... this was a scrapped idea for a different AU so just ignore the six arms and spider face stuff XD not relevant here, just looking at the suit style

it’s really just the default spider-suit i draw tbh XD (this pic and the next obvs from that 8 page comic i did, not from this au)

i like this logo style better.

also bonus: a general idea of what the rest of the gang looks like..

[mistydear]

soften me now, let me take as is given (xvii)

billie dean howard x reader

summary: You meet Billie in mourning. She's too professional, and you're too angry, and it takes too long to see her again. And again. And again as your lives tumble together.

w/c: 3.1k

taglist: @thedeconstructionist @cordeliass @strawberryshorttcakkee @max-the-d0g @mistysswampmud @angelxsarahp @billiedeanspearls @madamevirgo @cordithatgurl @mayfair-fleur @saucy-sapphic @whatfutureiamdead

chapter one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen

notes: much love to my anons you helped with motivation to get through the delicate parts that lead up to the fun stuff

When you stand at Margot and Danny’s front door, you can feel your heart pounding. Andy squeezes your hand, hoping to steady you, and it doesn’t work, but you appreciate the gesture. A week before this, you had an extensive conversation with Margot about Andy, about the fact that you were dating now, about how you wanted her to meet Andy. You needed her approval. There were tears and hugs, and now there was a lump in your throat the size of California, heart pounding. 

. . . 

If there was one thing Andy was teaching you, it was how to accept miracles with easy, graceful reverence. Dinner was—to put a single word to it—normal. It was fun. They played cards against humanity and ate good food and laughed about things you haven’t laughed about in ages. You didn’t forget about Kate once, but it also didn’t make the night sad. Andy ran a hand down your back and smiled, and you smiled back, thinking Kate would be happy for you. Maybe you’re happy for you. 

After dinner, when you were spending the night at Andy’s apartment, sweaty and naked on her bed, she asked you if you were happy. 

“I think so,” you mumbled into her pillow. You aren’t sure, but you feel like this is what happiness means, or what it should mean. She kissed your shoulder. “Are you?” 

“Very much.” 

You thought very much might be too big of a stretch for you and chewed your lip. Andy was devoted to you, that much you knew. If you weren’t careful, she might love you some day. 

. . . 

“And then the strippers will show up and give everyone lap dances,” Norah says, and you blink, chewing absently at your knuckle.

“Sorry, what?” you ask, turning to look at Norah’s disbelieving face. 

“Really? The strippers got you but not the tank of sharks or the motorcycle with the rings of fire?” 

“What are we talking about?” you ask, furrowing your brow, shifting in your seat on Norah’s couch. 

“My birthday party, you absolute dumbass.” Your eyes light with recognition. 

“Is it that time of year already?” 

“Shut up,” she laughs, chopping onions on her countertop. You let a smile spread across your face, easy and light. Norah’s birthday parties are stuff of legend, starting early and going all the way through to the next morning if you’re lucky. The music was reliably loud, the company reliably rowdy, and the drinks reliably plenty. You and Kate have been going for years. This will be the first one without her. “You should invite Billie,” she says with a forced nonchalance. “Now that you’re friends.” 

“First of all, it’s your birthday party, not mine. Invite her yourself. Second of all, why is Billie your first thought and not Andy?” Norah’s chopping slows, but she doesn’t look up. 

“Andy was a given, come on,” she says, glancing up then back down. “Besides, you would have agonized over inviting Billie for weeks, and I just don’t have time to deal with that. I have a party to plan.” 

“So you’re saying Billie is a given too?” you ask, something churning inside you, not exactly unpleasant, but you can feel yourself warming, cheeks burning. 

“Isn’t she?” Norah asks, looking you dead in the eye. You chew at your knuckle again, picking at your lip. Isn’t she? 

. . . 

You invite Billie to your apartment for the first time. The first time since she brought you home drunk on the anniversary of your wife’s death, maybe, but the first time sober. And you’re nervous, chest tight as you pretend to tidy up but are really just rearranging. Rearranging the pillows on your couch and the candles on your coffee table and the food in the kitchen until there’s a solid knock on your door. Feeling jittery and unprepared, you take a breath and adjust your shirt, striding to the front door in socks and jeans. When you open the door, Billie stands there in heels and slacks and a button down with her purse in her hands in front of her. 

“Hi,” you breathe, and she blinks and smiles with a modest softness you don’t see that often from her. 

“Hello.” You step back to let her in, and she slides past you, heels clicking in your entryway. “It smells good in here,” she comments, slipping off her jacket which you immediately offer to take, hands out wordlessly, maybe too eagerly. She hands it to you, warm from her body and smelling like her, rich and heady. You thumb it absently, fingers scraping across the seams as she glances around. “Is that curry?” she asks, stepping further into the apartment, and you move to follow before you realize you’re still holding her jacket. 

“It’s Norah’s recipe. She’s the cook. I just steal her ideas,” you say, hanging up her jacket next to yours. Billie chuckles, setting her purse down on your front table. “Do you, um, want something to drink?” you offer, rubbing your hand across the back of your neck. 

“What do you have?” she asks, trailing you to the kitchen. You can feel her eyes on you, soft brown but so sharp, and she doesn’t look away when you turn back to her. 

“Water, wine, beer, rum, whiskey…” you trail off, and she steps toward your wine rack, manicured fingers trailing across a bottle of pinot. Wordlessly, she hands it to you, and you nod, grabbing it by the neck and digging around for a corkscrew. Your curry is simmering on the stove, rice waiting to be served, and as you pour out two glasses, Billie flips the seasoned chicken frying on the stove. 

You haven’t cooked together since the morning after Billie slept over in your armchair. It feels like so long ago, and you feel so different with her now. It’s easier to be around her, absolutely, but you can’t help feeling like you’re teetering on the edge of something. You catch it in Billie’s eyes every once and a while, something dark and rich and tentative. Like she’s holding back. You wonder how many layers you’ll be allowed to peel away before Billie stops you. You hope she never stops you. The thought halts you, makes you hesitate when you watch Billie turn off the burner and move the frying pan off the heat. You and Billie have been through a lot together, leaning on each other when things got unbelievably hard and being there for each other’s worst moments. And still there’s something between you, some barrier you don’t know how to name, how to conceptualize, that makes everything just a little distant, a little awkward. 

“Here,” you say, hoarse, holding out a glass for Billie. She takes it, her fingers brushing yours, nails scraping your skin. The hair on the back of your neck prickles. The smile she gives you is soft, barely there, and when she sips her wine, her eyes never leave yours. Red stains her pink lips, and your chest tightens. Feeling hot, you swallow and turn away from her to tend to the food. 

The conversation turns easy after that. Billie complains about the interviews she’s constantly doing, complains about Lisa Cole’s moniker for her, how it follows her everywhere. 

“Medium to the Stars,” she scoffs as the two of you sit down across from each other at your dining table. 

“It’s catchy,” you shrug, chuckling, and she glares at you. “How’re those rumors going? Still circulating?” 

“Which ones,” she drones, stabbing her fork into a piece of chicken. “How I’m the slut of Hollywood?” 

“Yeah, that one,” you clarify, resting an elbow on the table, and Billie looks up at you, her expression something you can’t place. 

“Dissipating,” she answers carefully. “Worried I’m keeping secrets?” she asks, something daring creeping into her tone. Your cheeks flush unexpectedly, and you shrug, chewing slowly. 

“Just curious, I guess. You’re not good at volunteering information. It’s like pulling teeth with you,” you try to joke, and Billie’s eyes dart across you, fork hovering in the air as if she’s assessing your truthfulness. 

“I’m not seeing anyone if that’s what you’re wondering,” she answers, and the air prickles between you. Were you wondering? You chew your lip. Yeah, you were. “How’re things with Andy?” You take a breath, sitting up straighter. 

“Fine,” you shrug. 

“Fine?” she teases, leaning forward, trying to find your gaze. Your chest twists with anxiety, and you squirm, debating whether to say anything. You haven’t even talked to Norah about this. 

“I think she may be falling in love with me,” you blurt, meeting Billie’s eyes. She attempts to conceal her surprise, but you can read her well enough now to dissect the little flickers in her expression. 

“Oh.” It’s a resigned sort of noise, which strikes you as odd as she leans back in her chair, but there’s a question buried there too. Her blonde hair is immaculately curled, makeup light and rosy, shirt effortlessly pressed and form fitting, but her eyes are deep and stormy and frantic, and you don’t know how to examine that without picking her apart. “Are you in love with her?” Her voice is careful and tight, and in a rare moment of vulnerability, she doesn’t make eye contact with you, scrambling to reassemble her mask. 

You can’t help but think back to Billie’s bedroom when something took hold of her, spoke through Billie’s mouth and used Billie’s body and made Billie’s eyes so unrecognizably dark. Whatever was inside her that night said something you’ll never forget. 

I know your secret too. I know how you really feel about Andy.

It was dark and malicious, and you didn’t know what it meant until this very moment. Until you were faced with a question to answer. 

“Andy’s been teaching me a lot about how to accept happiness after Kate,” you say, setting down your fork. “And it’s gotten easier. To let myself be happy. I just…feel guilty, I think.” 

“You shouldn’t—” Billie starts, but you shake your head. 

“Not about Kate,” you swallow, a lump in your throat. “About Andy.” Billie blanches. 

“You don’t love her.” Her voice is distant and empty, and you look down at your food. 

“I want to. I should,” you squirm, and Billie’s silent for a long moment. You both are. Your heart is pounding at the admission, and Billie’s stiff as a board across from you. When you glance up at her, her chest is red and blotchy beneath her starched shirt, and you watch her swallow. 

“I truly believe that some people come into your life to teach you lessons.” 

“Like fate?” you chuckle, watching her carefully. She shrugs, setting her hands in her lap. 

“Like some bigger consciousness. Like…” she sighs, “coincidences that don’t feel like coincidences.” 

“Are you religious, Billie?” you ask, the air growing delicate between you. The answer doesn’t feel as obvious as it should, but you know that she’s spiritual. You never were, not until recently. 

“I’m god fearing, if that’s what you mean,” she answers with a steadiness you need in that moment, even if the answer unsettles you. 

Later, after dinner is cleaned up and you're on your second glasses of wine, you pull out a murder mystery game. Billie laughs when she sees you come back with it, setting her glass down on a coaster and toeing off her heels. 

“What is that?” After you explain how it works, that you have objectives and evidence to sort through and that it’s like a big complicated puzzle, she hums, grabbing the first objective. “Prove Joe Thorton is lying about his alibi. Simple enough.” 

“Simple en—Billie, please reign in your ego,” you scoff, snatching the envelope from her hand. She turns to you, eyes burning, but lets you sort through the evidence, reading newspaper clippings and witness statements aloud. Folding one leg over the other, she watches you, pensive and contemplating, resting back on her hands. She seems content to listen to you read, but you can tell how fast her brain is turning. 

Then as soon as you’re done, she posits a theory. You ask her for the evidence. She points to an article. When you disprove it with a witness statement, her jaw clenches. 

“What about Sally’s autopsy report?” she asks. “The coroner said the blow to her head must have come from a left handed person.” 

“That doesn’t prove that Joe is lying about his alibi,” you shoot back, and Billie unfolds her legs, leaning forward to rest her elbows on her spread knees. It’s something you quickly realize means she’s trying to focus. Logically, you know that Billie’s natural and relaxed state isn’t legs crossed, shoulders back, but seeing her unfold here in front of you makes you melt just a little bit. She trusts you. You. 

After twenty minutes of going back and forth on the evidence through rounds of sometimes friendly disagreements, Billie grabs a photo and the little magnifying glass it comes with. After a moment of frustration, she waves her hand and purses her lips. 

“Yes?” you ask, amused. 

“Grab my purse,” she instructs, then looks up, distracted. “Please,” she adds, embarrassed, and you smirk but do as instructed. When you plop back down on the couch next to her, knees brushing, she rifles through it, setting it on the floor by her heels. She comes back with a pair of glasses, flicking them open and sliding them on dismissively before hunching back over the photo. You watch her with growing interest, a smile spreading across your cheeks. “The time on the clock,” she says abruptly, “It’s—” She looks up at you, startled to find you staring right at her. A blush colors her cheeks, eyelashes flickering across you. “What?” Her voice is hoarse. 

“You wear glasses?” you ask, voice lilting up. She hesitates, mouth opening and closing, glasses resting so delicately on her nose. She’s embarrassed, you can tell, and moves to pull them off. You catch her hand and squeeze it, thumb swiping across warm, delicate fingers. “Don’t. It’s cute.” You blush intensely at your words, and Billie blanches. “I mean, it’s…you’re…you look good.” 

“I don’t let people see me in them,” Billie says quietly. “I feel ridiculous.” 

“You shouldn’t,” you assure her, pulling Billie’s hand away from her face. She doesn’t let go of it, holding your hand in her lap. You swallow, aware of how your knees are touching, how you can smell Billie’s perfume and the floral shampoo in her hair. “Let’s, um, see if you’re right,” you say, pulling out your phone. Quietly, softly, Billie intertwines your fingers. Quietly, softly, with your heart pounding in your ears, you let her. You pull up the website with the answers, and she leans close to you to see your phone. Hesitantly, you look over at her, but she’s focused elsewhere, her lashes long and delicate against her face, nose smooth and sloping, lips soft and red. You could kiss her. You could kiss Billie Dean Howard right now. Something seizes in you, and you lick your lips. 

“I am,” she says then, smirking, eyes floating to yours. 

“What?” 

“Right about the clock. It proves Joe was lying,” she says, eyes searching your face, lips pulled into a smile over perfect teeth. God. God dammit. 

“Billie?” 

“Yes, Y/N?” she asks, quieting. You can tell the way her chest is rising and falling that she’s breathing just as irregularly as you, and that scares you so bad your stomach twists, and…

“Norah’s throwing a party. I want you to come.” Billie’s features soften and settle, and she swallows. 

“Of course,” she says, choked, and your heart is beating so hard you think you may pass out. Why are you so nervous? It’s just Billie. 

“Her birthdays are notoriously insane, so prepare yourself.” 

“Notoriously?” she asks, teasing, and you nod, feeling your adrenaline slowly subside. “How would you suggest one prepares, then?” 

“Wear layers. Someone will spill something on you. Guaranteed,” you start, and Billie hums, looking down at you over her glasses. Something about her voice, low and even, about the glasses, about her eyes is so unwaveringly intoxicating you find yourself leaning into her. “Do not drive. You will be too drunk to walk.” 

“Noted,” she says, a smile creeping into her voice. Her thumb begins tracing yours, holding steady, and she pulls your hand just a little closer to her. 

“And be prepared to be hit on,” you say, your eyes drifting across her face. She huffs out a laugh, and her breath comes out on your cheek. 

“Really?” 

“Norah’s a fan,” you admit, and Billie leans back a little, surprised. 

“A fan?” she asks, searching your eyes. You nod. 

“When you first came to Corner Store for the Signs Unseen reading she was practically drooling,” you laugh, and Billie flushes. “She gets affectionate when she’s drunk.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she chuckles, eyes searching yours. “Anything else?” You hum and shake your head. You think you're closer to Billie than you remember. She blinks and seems to realize it too because her smile fades. “We should move on. To the second objective,” she mutters, letting go of your hand, and you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. Swallowing, you nod. 

“Right.” Billie uses her free hand to take off her glasses, and you feel like a spell has been broken, something irreplaceable gone between you. The space feels wider, colder, as Billie reads the second objective. 

Still, she’s here with you, her feet bare, her shoulders relaxed, knees brushing. It’s intimate in a way you haven’t been with Billie, warm and close. You immediately miss it even though it’s not quite gone, crave it even though you aren’t sure what it is you’re craving. 

When the night inevitably comes to an end, you walk her to the door, her heels dangling from her fingers. You watch as she slips them on so effortlessly, sighing as she stands, cheeks flushed with wine, eyes shining and heavy. 

“Thank you for inviting me over. I don’t get to have very many quiet evenings like this. It was nice,” she admits, holding her hands in front of her. You chew your lip and smile. 

“It was really nice. Thank you for solving a murder with me.” She holds back a laugh, her smile bursting, and then you’re leaning in for a hug. She reciprocates easily, arms wrapping around you, holding you against her. You can feel her breathing against you, feel her warmth. Absently, you rest your head on her shoulder, and she leans into you, swaying lightly. When you pull back, her hands linger, brushing hair off your ear for you and trailing down your arms. 

“Goodnight, Y/N.” 

“Night, Billie.” 

She slips on her jacket, buttons it with deft fingers, and gives you a private smile that makes the whole world fall away. And when you close the door behind her, your apartment is cold but you’re so warm with Billie, Billie, Billie. 

[nicascurls]

Strangeness and Charm - Part Three

Word Count: 2.2K

Summary: Season 1 AU where Andy and Kyle arrive at Charles Lee Ray’s old house before Tiffany leaves with Junior and Nica and ultimately save them. Set in 2017, two weeks after Cult since that's when the show was originally mentioned to be set and in my opinion, makes the most sense.

Notes: Yay! Nica’s awake, I love her and I loved exploring her thought process in this part as well as Kyle and Andy’s since someone *cough cough* Don Mancini *cough cough* seems to neglect their feelings. Also I’m a complete sucker for BarclayPierce, so there are hints in this part and finally, happy birthday once again to Alex Vincent.

Tags: @streets-in-paradise @losersclubisms @silvershewolf247 @cornerofhell​

The first thing Nica was aware of was a feeling of comfort. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt that, it must have been what? Four years? Closer to five, actually. 

But, oh God what does that mean? She let out a soft whimper as she tried to remember what happened before she passed out. She just hoped that this was her waking up and not her regaining control. 

That's when fear struck her, after the first time she regained control she knew there was nothing she was safe from. She slowly began to open her eyes against the sun rays on her face, dreading the sight of the blonde psychopath she expected to be greeted with. 

"Andy, Kyle! It looks like Nica is waking up." 

Andy? Kyle? And that voice definitely wasn't Tiffany's but Nica couldn't bring herself to get her hopes up. 

She fully opened her eyes, squinting against the light and began to push herself up to sit. That's when she met eyes with the 6 people in front of her, four teens, two she could remember from before, the others she didn't recognise. And then two adults, a blonde woman, but not Tiffany. Definitely not her and a man, close to her age. Possibly a few years older and something about him seemed familiar, she couldn't quite place what.

Wait.

Andy, Andy Barclay?

She supposed it could be possible but she knew the dangers of getting her hopes up. The last time she did that she was faced with Tiffany telling her that Alice was gone before gleefully dumping her killer in her lap.

"Where am I?" Nica asked, doing her best to keep her voice steady. She couldn't afford to show weakness, not when she was already at a disadvantage.

"Uh, Hackensack. We brought-" Junior started, taking a step forward before stopping when he saw Nica flinch. "I'm sorry, I should have thought about that."

Nica remained tense, eyes darting from one person to the next. Andy was becoming more alert now and slowly moved closer to the sofa bed.

"Look, we're not going to hurt you, you're safe. Okay, Nica?"

She made no attempt to move again but kept her eyes fixed on the man in front of her. She was doing her best to read his emotions, to find some form of malicious intent that she had grown so used to seeing in people but she couldn't find it.

"How do you know who I am?"

"It's kind of a long story but I'm Andy-"

"Andy Barclay?"

"Yeah..."

At this point Kyle put her guard up, Andy had said they needed to be cautious, that Chucky could trick them and she already had to get her brother out of a padded cell because of this one.

"You hear that from Chucky?" She asked sternly, if it was Nica she didn't want to scare her but she just couldn't risk it.

"Wha- No. I did some research the night he killed my family. I had been suspicious about where the doll came from and came across an article from '88. But, you know what he did don't you?"

"You mean possessing you in an asylum?" Jake responded.

"Yeah, that."

"Look, I'm sorry about this," the blonde woman. Kyle? Began, " but how do we know this isn't Chucky talking now?"

"Believe me, if it was Chucky he'd be up and moving by now. The most I can do is drag myself around." Nica responded bitterly, that was one of the facts she resented the most. That he could walk in her body when she had always been considered as less by people because he took that from her.

"How did I get here?"

"Oh um, Andy found both of us in Tiffany's car and him and Kyle got us out before she came back." Junior started, he made sure to stay where he was and kept his hands in plain sight. He had never wanted to hurt Nica in that house but he knew Nica really had no way of knowing that, the last thing he wanted to do was scare her again. "Look, what happened at the house. I, I didn’t, wasn't going to hurt you. I just didn't know what to do or what they would do."

Nica looked at the boy, she could see the same nervousness in his face as she did in that house. She was still hesitant but she knew she couldn't hold what happened against, Junior? As far as she knew, he could have ended up just like Alice if it hadn't been for Andy and Kyle. 

"It, it's okay," Nica began, "believe me I know how manipulative Chucky can be."

"We've got pizza if you're hungry, it's pretty cold now but-" Jake then cut Lexy off, "Or we have other food in the kitchen." 

"The pizza will be fine." Nica responded quickly, she couldn't remember the last time she ate and she imagined Chucky isn't one to take care of himself, especially in her body.

"Here, take your pick." Devon passed her a pizza box containing all of the leftover slices. 

"Thank you." Without further discussion Nica took the first piece she saw, without even acknowledging the toppings. She couldn't remember the last time she had a meal that wasn't God awful hospital food, let alone pizza.

"I'm guessing you still have a lot of questions." 

Nica, looked up at Andy and slowly nodded. She finished off the slice of pizza before responding.

"Uh, yeah. Honestly, I'm not really sure where to start."

"How about we tell you what we know and then you do the same for us?" Kyle suggested as she entered the room again with a glass of water, "I thought you might be thirsty."

"Thanks." Nica responded, reaching for the glass with a small smile.

The others proceeded to explain everything they knew about the current situation as Nica finished off the pizza, grateful to have anything close to a decent meal. 

"Well that explains why Chucky wanted me to kill, I knew there had to be something in it for that bastard." 

"Chucky tried to make you kill? When?"

"Just before he possessed me at Harrogate, one of the doctors."

"Foley?" Andy asked hesitantly. The mention of that man's name made Nica shudder before turning to Andy. 

"How'd you know that?"

"It's kind of a long story but I had spoken to him a few times."

"Why?"

"To, um, to try and visit you or prove you innocent I guess." 

Andy's eyes kept flickering down to the floor, too shy to watch Nica's reaction to what he just told her. He made the mistake of taking a quick glance at the others only to be met with Junior with a much bigger smirk on his face than before, almost identical to the one Kyle was pulling next to him. The same one she pulls when she thinks she knows better, or when he says he's not a bad driver. Which he isn't.

Meanwhile, Nica wasn't sure what to do. She was still trying to comprehend what Andy said, and why would he do that? Genuine kindness had been such a rare thing for her since Chucky, it felt alien to her. She wanted to ask more about it, but she could see Andy nervously looking at the floor and decided it was best to ask them with less of an audience.

"Sorry," Kyle began, "but going back to the subject of possession, I guess we should ask how often you've been in control."

"Um, about two or three times I think. I think there have been some moments where I'm slightly aware of what was going on but I didn't have control."

"Well, when were the times you were in control?"

Nica hid her face in her hands for a second, trying desperately to fight the headache that began whenever she tried to think about past moments she was in control over Chucky.

"The first time I remember was November 8th so that was, what's the date today?"

"November 13th" Jake pitched in.

"Right. 5 days ago, okay. Then it happened again, I think a day or two later? Then again when you two were there." Nica gestured over to Junior and Devon before directing her next question to the latter. "Actually, I hope you don't mind me asking, but how did you get to that house?"

"Oh, I had gone to investigate." Devon responded quickly, anxious to go into further detail after seeing the confusion Nica had faced since being possessed. Although, the attempt was in vain. Nica could tell something was wrong and then it hit her.

"Oh God!" She began, "I was the one that hurt you, wasn't I? I'm so sorry, are you okay n-"

Devon immediately cut off her apologetic rambling,  "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine now. Honestly, it's alright. I know it was Chucky, it's not your fault."

Nica, looked over at the boy and gave him a smile and a small nod of thanks.

“So, do you have any idea what makes you change?” Lexy questioned.

“Um,”

“Tiffany slapped her when we were there,” Junior cut in, “that’s what made her switch back to herself. Don’t know how much that helps though.”

“Actually, it might. When I woke up the first time there was a guy that was tied up, I tried to free him but he ended up hitting me, which makes sense I guess but that’s the last thing I remember from that.” 

“What about the other time? Is there anything else that could have an effect?” Kyle pitched in, leaning closer.

“Uh, Tiffany hit me in the back of the head with something, that’s the last thing I remember from the second time. As for other things, blood maybe? That always seems to be near Chucky and Tiffany, I’m not sure if that affects anything though.”

“We could always test it!” With that Junior got up and made a move for the kitchen, Andy jumped up in response. “Woah, Kid what are you doing?!”

“Getting a knife.” Junior then clocked the concerned expressions of the others in the room. “Not like that. Just a small one, you know? To make a little cut and see if the blood works. No big deal.”

“Hang on,” Nica responded, looking around the room. “Someone tie my legs first, that will at least stop Chucky a little,  if this does work.”

Kyle swiftly picked up the rope on the ground that had bound Nica’s hands previously before moving towards Nica, who moved the blanket to one side. Kyle made quick work of tying Nica’s ankles together, double and triple knotting the rope just to be sure. That was when Junior returned to the room with a small vegetable knife, the sight of it caused the nerves to begin to sink in for Nica and she turned to her right to see Andy giving her a small reassuring smile.

“You ready?” Kyle asked, taking the knife from Junior and putting her own gun on the table next to her as Andy held his own, suddenly avoiding all eye contact with Nica. Nica took a deep breath, “Yeah.”

Kyle made a small cut on the palm of her hand before turning it to Nica, her gun now in the other hand. It only took a second of looking at the blood before the dreaded sinking feeling washed over her again and she let out a small whimper of fear before falling back.

The others kept their eyes fixed on her form, a gun in each of the adults’ hands. That was when Chucky let out a groan, pushing himself up and clicking his neck. 

“Kids, stand back.” Andy warned them, they didn’t need to be told twice, Devon had already begun to move back, grabbing Jake's hand to make sure he followed. Next to them, Lexy and Junior did the same. 

Chucky opened his eyes, legs struggling against the binds and looked around before he landed on Andy pointing the gun at Nica’s body. Chucky let out a smug chuckle before speaking, “Well, this is familiar. Ain’t it, Andy?” All of them remained silent, Andy seemingly frozen in place, refusing to take his eyes off of Chucky. “What? Ya not gonna shoot this time? No, of course ya won’t, not now you know she’s still in here.”

“Shut it, fucker.” 

“Wouldn’t want to shoot a pretty girl, r- agh!” Chucky was cut off as Kyle fist collided with Nica’s face, causing Chucky to fall back once again. Nica let out a gasp as she regained control before slowly sitting up again. “I’m guessing it worked.” she said weakly as she raised a hand up to her jaw.

“Uh huh,” Lexy responded, slightly bewildered. “At least we know how to get you back now.” Nica smiled at that, it was nice feeling as if she had some form of control again, and it seemed the others were reassured by that as well. Well, all except Andy, who seemed to be avoiding looking at her at all costs. 

Kyle decided to take over before things got awkward, “Right, so now that theory has been proven right, What’s the plan?”

[intothewickedwood]

End of Year Quezzies

Happy New Year! I think it would be fun to reflect on highlights from last year, especially in regards to fandom. This is a compilation of questions inspired by various ask games x x

Top 5 songs you listened to for the first time last year?

1.Out of the Dark (Monster High)

2.Playing His Game (Death Note: The Musical)

3.Stalemate (Death Note: The Musical)

4.Where Can I Run? (Adamandi)

5.Me, Myself and I (Adamandi)

Top 5 Songs released last year?

1.Reason We've Got Magic from (Monster High 2)

2.Not How Our Story Goes (Monster High 2)

3.You Don't Know (Monster High 2)

4.Dirty Girl (Nerdy Prudes Must Die)

5.Nerdy Prudes Must Die (Nerdy Prudes Must Die)

Album released last year?

Nerdy Prudes Must Die (Original StarKid Cast Recording) by Team Starkid

Musical artist / group of the year?

Starkid!

Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year?

Melliot's musicals!

Movie watched for the first time last year?

Stay (2017)

Movie released last year?

Monster High 2!

TV show of the year?

Legacies

TV Show released last year?

Wolf Pack

Most memorable episode of a show last year?

3x08 Long Time, No See from Legacies was one I rewatched a few times as I loved it so much

Top 5 musicals watched this year?

1.We Are The Tigers

2.VHS Christmas Carols

3.Nerdy Prudes Must Die

4. Adamandi

5. Death Note: The Musical

Game of the year?

Sims 4: Horse Ranch

Character of the year?

Lizzie Saltzman! (Legacies)

Top 5 new favorite characters last year?

1.Draculaura (Monster High)

2.Vincent Aurelius Lin (Adamandi)

3.Quincy Cynthius Martin (Adamandi)

4.Claire (Stay 2017)

5.Tabby Haworthe (Pretty Little Liars: Original Sin)

Ship of the year?

Cairo x Riley (We Are The Tigers) and Mizzie (Legacies). I can't choose! Also I was this year years old when I found out my long-time otp Mizzie were canon endgame! Still screaming over that!!

Top 5 new ships last year?

1.Dracudeen (Monster High)

2.Quincent (Adamandi)

3.Claire x William (Stay 2017)

4.Holy Ghost (Nerdy Prudes Must Die)

5.Finsie (Legacies)

Best month for you this year?

Probably December. I love the holiday season!

Something you want to do again next year?

Go to the cinema more! I think I went only once this year. Would love to go to the theatre too! It's been a while!

How was your birthday last year?

It went pretty well. I just chilled at home and watched my favourite musicals.

Favorite book you read last year?

Fraternity by Andy Mientus was amazing! A real page turner! One of the best, most engaging books I've read.

What was the most delicious meal you enjoyed last year?

I really wanna get into reading Ella Enchanted. I've heard good things!

What’s something you learned this year?

All the advantages of foot massages! And that keeping an 'Affirmation Board' on notion is an extreme help. I use gallery view and I put gifs and positive quotes from my favourite media and characters to look at when I'm having a bad day. I also put techniques for coping that include pressure points, breathing techniques and tips for dealing with my sensory issues, sometimes paired with a gif of a scene that reminds me of it. Wish I'd started on it years ago but it's better late!

Favorite place you visited this year?

Just the town nearest mine. It's my favourite town!

What was the most impactful life lesson you learned?

Copy & Pasted from my Affirmation Board: "There will never not be something wrong that upsets you. Perfection is a myth. Happiness is focussing on the good despite the sadness, guilt & shame that always bubble beneath. Concentrating on, replaying or having negative feelings about what hurts won’t solve the problem or make it go away. It’s ok to let it go & not punish yourself." - Quote By Me xD. I like to give myself the illusion of control over thoughts lol but looking at this has been the most helpful thing on my affirmation board for me.

[faciensmel]

(Ashley Moore) [THE APIARIST]. Please welcome [PANDORA 'ANDY' FLOWERS (SHE/HER)] to Huntsville, WV. They are an 28]-year-old [RESIDENT] who lives in [TOWN]. You may see them around working as a [SCHOOL BUS DRIVER/ENTERPRENEUR]. Poor unfortunate soul. We’ll see if they survive

Stats:

Name: Pandora Valeria Flowers Nicknames: Andy, Panny Age: 28 years old Birthday: March 13th, 1996 Occupation: School bus driver/Beekeeper Hometown: Huntsville, WV  ☼ Pisces ☾ Capricorn ↑ Aries

Andy was born and raised in Huntsville. Her parents were hard workers and loved farming therefore settled to live and grow their family in Huntsiville where they could acquire a house with large garden. Andy grew up gardening and tending for the few farm animals they had such as chickens and pigs. The family had three daughter's, Ariadne was Mrs. Flower's daughter from her first marriage back when she worked as a lecturer in Brooklyn. Their mother was swept away by the towns man that Mr. Flowers was, happy to leave the big city life for a small town living. When Andy was 2 years old, Thalia was born and Pandora got her best friend for life.

Ariadne moved out of Huntsville as soon as she turned eighteen, Andy knew that she and her parents had some sort of disagreement and that's why she'd left but never learnt what it was about. Pandora kept in touch with her sister for a while, mostly during birthdays, but their interactions were far and few so Ariadne probably didn't think much when they ceased.

Pandora lost Thalia in the first year of the ghost appearances. Her mother and Thalia risked going back home after dark when they overstayed at a friends and that Andy and her father never saw them again.

Her father took care of Pandora and their house but anyone could see he was half the man he used to be. The joy of life put out by the loss this town brought upon him. Andy knew she wasn't the right daughter to have survived, and the fact she looked like her mother was just a painful reminder. She never blamed her father for being distant, he did the best he could, and she was grateful he taught her everything about farming. Andy was especially keen on beekeeping, reading every book on it and ways she could use the produce from her hive. She found it extraordinary and how the lifecycle of the hive was so interlinked with the beautiful flowers in her meadow, both codependent of each other.

Andy's father died right before her twentieth birthday, his heart couldn't take it was the official version. She was devastated but she knew he had finally let go of this world when he knew he'd taught Andy all she needed to survive.

Pandora always preferred solitude, or a small group. She prefers to spend her time in nature and occupies herself with tending her gardens and beehives. After school Andy started working as the bus driver for the school in her spare time. But mostly she concentrated on expanding her honey business, she's the main supplier for honey and mead in town and even if she only have a small close knitted group of friends most people know of her through her trade.

Currently Pandora lives in her family's house, still taking care of a small pack of chickens and her lovely beehive. Although she likes her solitude after her father died she realized she didn't want to be all alone. Andy was lucky her friend Artemis moved in with her. Andy also has a cat named Ten that she spoils to no end.

Personality:

+ hard working, brave, wild

- cynical, timid, immature

Wanted Connections:

let's bee friends - a person who comes and helps her out with the bees, i imagine this as a person who's talking to andy while she's doing her beekeeping stuff but can.

seven minutes or less - andy's first kiss. a very awkward encounter while playing the game when she was 14.

a little favor - people in school that were andy's friends so she'd give her homework for them to copy. once andy caught up with what's happening she'd still do it cause pretend friends are gateway friends.

pick up lines - someone andy goes foraging with. she has a pretty big garden with stuff she grows herself but as a gatherer goes to forest regularly to berry pick and stuff, andy is obsessed with wild garlic.

[andvys]

ANDY LOVE

THIS CHAPTER WAS SO ENTERTAINING DKJDISJSIDDISS - honey anon

“I guess they didn’t come,” you mumble with sadness and a hint of disappointment in your voice. “They never do.”

noo that's sad :( they seemed so nice with the meatballs and everything

“I mean, I thought that we could spend this night together,” you say, smiling with hope in your eyes. “Or we can leave if that’s what you–”

OMG WAIT!! I SENSE DRAMA POTENTIAL. the love triangle + alcohol 👀

“I knew it! I knew you were lying to me, Dingus!” 

THERE SHE IS THE LOML MY WIFE THE MOTHER OF MY CHILDREN

“You are both two immature idiots,” she groans, burying her hands in her hair. 

she's so right. what about our girl getting into a polyamorous relationship with rob and chrissy

“He threw up in the pool, Robin!”

IF THAT HAPPENED TO ME YOU WOULD NOT GET THIS INFORMATION OUT OF ME BYE

“Let’s go, ladies and.. Steve,” he grins. 

HAHAHAHAHA i remember when in high school we would work in groups and there were boys in our group but our math teacher hated us and was so mean and she would still call us girls just to spite them 😭😭

“Don’t start this again,” Robin warns, pointing at them both before she rushes over to you, wrapping her arm around your shoulder, she grins, “us ladies, ride in the front, and you two can cuddle in the back,” she winks at them, pulling you away with a giggle. 

I WOULD LOVE TO SEE THEM CUDDLING IN THE BACK LMFAO

After an eventful ride to Steve’s house and a few shots of tequila, you all settled in his backyard, each of you occupying one of the many loungers around the pool. Passing around the joint that Eddie had given Steve as a ‘birthday gift’. You are sipping on a drink that Steve has made for you, coke mixed with his dad’s expensive whiskey. You are pretty sure that you will regret the amount of alcohol and weed you are having tonight, when you wake up tomorrow morning. But the floaty and giddy feeling you are experiencing right now, will have to make up for it. 

me reading about the drugs imagining the possible effects cause i've never been been under any influence (wish i could paste gifs here 😭)

“A girlfriend?” You ask as you raise the glass to your lips, shrugging, “I don’t know, I never thought about it but kissing girls is fun, so.. I suppose doing anything else with a girl is fun too.” 

BISEXUAL QUEEN

“If you think kissing a girl is fun, you should try eating one out,” Robin mumbles before she takes a drag from the joint, “it’s the best thing ever.” She blows out the smoke, not noticing the confused frown on your face. 

do share your experiences robin go on, lemme just ✍️

“For once, I have to agree with you, Robin,” Eddie chuckles. 

hUH

“What is that, I don’t watch porn.” 

GIRL

Your jaw drops, your cheeks heat up and you stare at him in shock. You look cute like this and he could stare at you forever but, in his state of shock, he slowly turns his head towards Steve, eyes filled with concern, confusion and disbelief, “dude, what is wrong with you?” 

STEVE GETTING EXPOSED ON HIS BIRTHDAY BYE IM CRYING 💀 her reaction is so me i also was shocked when i first learned like "people do that????"

“I’m very self conscious of not doing a good job, so–”

BRO 😭

“What, Munson, are you the pussy expert or something?” He scoffs, rolling his eyes at him. 

NOT THE KITTY KING IM WHEEZING

“I have eaten my share of pussy, thank you very much.”

WHAT IS GOING ON

“Fine! Two or three months ago, happy? Now, Harrington, I think I should teach you some basics.” 

WHO WHO WHO WHO WH- (turns into an owl)

Steve rubs the back of his neck, nervously, “I mean, yeah. Just not–” he pauses with a look of shame in his eyes as he briefly glances at you. 

don't embarrass yourself further 😭

You are so fucking done. 

ME TOO BUT THIS CHAPTER WAS SPICY OKAYYYY

IM SO EXCITED FOR MORE ANDY!! 🤭

WHY DIDNT I SEE THIS LAST NIGHT AAHH BESTIE IM HAPPY YOU LIKED THIS CHAPTER!!!! 🩷

'with the meatballs and everything' why did that make me laugh LMAO

reader getting into a relationship with Chrissy and robin? 🤭

LMAO boys had nothing more than to get called 'ladies' or 'girls' even though it's clearly very sarcastic

Steve being a dumbass and getting exposed, Eddie making reader jealous, what else is new 😩

BESTIE I THINK YOURE GONNA LOVE THE NEW CHAPTER HEHE 🤭 how are you doing?? 🩷

[dragonfly92]

OLD FAMILY FRIENDS CHAPTER EIGHT

Luckily it didn't take long for the girls to get from the hotel to the restaurant of course Sarah had texted Andy to give the group a heads up saying, "Hey we are a few minutes away are you guys at the restaurant yet?" He messages her saying, "Hey yeah we are see you girls in a few minutes then xx."As stated they had arrived a few minutes later but before the girls went inside Melissa speaks up looking at Sarah saying, "Alright sis before we go inside you've got to wear this blind fold we have one last surprise for you and before you ask we aren't giving you any clues you will just have to trust us okay?" Sarah smirks a little saying, "Yeah of course I trust my sister and friends." So she does as she is told and puts on the blindfold of course her big sister helped her so she wouldn't trip over anything.

Once inside of course the tables and chairs had been moved out of the way for the time being, also so that Sarah couldn't bump into them and there was a stage as well, once Mel had stopped her in front of the stage and then removed her blindfold slowly opening her eyes her finally surprise was that the guys would be performing a few songs for her which causes her to have a big grin on her face then she looks over to her friends, brothers and sister then turns her attention back to the guys Andy was standing in front of the microphone and speaks up by saying, "Well we hope you enjoy your last surprise, also you enjoy the show and I know it's already been and gone but Happy Birthday Sweetheart."

She smiles and then the guys started performing, they had performed a few of their old songs as well as some of their new songs, whilst they was performing Sarah was of course on the dancefloor with everyone who was dancing and having a good time, of course Sarah was dancing with her oldest brother Nick whilst now and again she would look over at Andy smiling and of course he would smile back for her this was one of her best birthdays ever, after a few songs the guys decided to have a break which of course Sarah completely understood seeing as they had performed for two hours now, some chairs and tables was placed back so that everyone had some place to seat whilst eating and drinking.

Sarah was sitting with Andy and a few of the other guys whilst everyone else was spreaded out having a good time, he speaks up asking her "So what do you think so far enjoying yourself by the way you look beautiful in your dress and let me guess Belle?" Sarah laughs whilst taking a sip of her drink and says, "I am having an amazing time thanks for this all of you guys of course I gotta say this is my favourite birthday so far and yeah it is thank you, it's just a shame that this holiday can't last forever but I wanna make the most of it obvious how about you enjoying it so far?"

He smiles saying to her, "Well you're very welcome I am happy that you are enjoying your birthday and I know how you feel took quite a few pictures for your photo album also get to spend time with the people that I care about alot still can't get over the fact that Joe and Harper are together of course I am happy for them, to be fair they do make a cute couple what do you think?" Sarah looks over at the table that Harper and Joe are sitting at talking to each other whilst of course involving the others as well and then turns her attention back to Andy saying, "Yeah I have never seen Harper so happy not since she had that breakup a while ago and I know Joe will take good care of her, to be honest I would love to see those two get married."

He smiles at his cousin and Harper saying, "Yeah I hope so as well I mean it's clear that they do love each other and he does care about her but it's good to see them both happy." Sarah and Andy ended up talking for hours then it was time for the guys to go back on stage to perform a few more songs to end the evening, even though everyone didn't want it to end it would unfortunately happen this time when they was performing Sarah was now dancing with Hannah and Rose laughing whilst twirling around it was so much fun, of course throughout the whole night pictures had been taken unaware to Sarah and Andy but Rose had been taken pictures of them to add to Sarah's scrapbook for her last birthday present which she would get after the holiday was finished.

It was midnight by the time and everyone started heading back to the hotel of course they had separate rooms Sarah, Harper and Mel shared a room, Rose, Hannah and Jessica shared a room with the boys Andy, Joe and Lonny shared a room, Pat, CC and Jinxx shared a room Jake, Jacob and Nick shared a room, Danny, Luke and Reef Kai shared a room it didn't take them long probably fifteen minutes to get from the restaurant back to the hotel everyone had said goodnight to each other before going into their rooms for a well earned and deserved sleep after a much fun packed day plus it was quite late and the gang had a packed day tonight.

SARAH'S PJs

HARPER'S PJs

MELISSA'S PJs

ROSE'S PJs

HANNAH'S PJs

JESSICA'S PJs

[n0ahsferatu]

"valentine's"? never heard of her. but "kiss your lizard day"? now *that* is a holiday worth celebrating 💕