#also also this is kinda sorta technically a WIP

[clownswamp6]

My silly little tf ocs :D closeups under the cut :)

[sainamoonshine]

how is your 2nd book coming along???

It’s going 🫣😬

Serious answer is I have the complete outline and every single scene planned out but I’ve been having trouble getting back in the head of the characters… I’m like 50k into the first draft but its giving me a lot of anxiety. Like you know when you procrastinate a task that should be doable but the more time passes the worst you feel about not doing it and therefore the harder it gets to do it? Yeah its like that.

Anyway me 🤜🤛 GRRM

Anyway I thought that writing & publishing a different book (Skin Deep) would kick me out of that funk and it sorta worked in that I remembered that its fun to write books, but now I’m writing a ton of different books that aren’t the one I should be writing oTL

At least with (one of) my current WIPs, Married to the Evil Wizard King, I’m starting to think I might have to split it from one book to a trilogy but this one I am definitely writing, editing and translating ALL of it before I self publish anything. I learned THAT lesson lmao

Anyway yeah so I’m “technically” still working on book 2 but also I am kinda….. not….. 😬

[littlemisspascal]

twenty questions for fic writers

Thank you so much for the tag @kteague ✨💖

1. how many works do you have on AO3? - 55 (but technically, I listed out the chapters of Death and an Angel individually as fics before combining them in one altogether so the number's a little less)

2. what's your total AO3 word count? - 399,907 (again, a bit less cuz of reason above)

3. what fandoms do you write for? - Pedro Pascal mainly. Then the one fic for Melshi from Andor.

4. top five fics by kudos -

The Infinity Cube - multi-Pedro Pascal boys/Female Reader

Establish Ties - chapter of Death and an Angel

Together - chapter of Death and an Angel

Death and an Angel - Din/Female Reader

Mailroom Crush - Javier P/Female Reader

5. do you respond to comments? - Usually yes. Though sometimes life gets hectic and it takes me a bit.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? - I don't really like unhappy/angsty endings so...hmm...I guess Bitter Ends Turn Sweet in Time cuz it's kind of an open-sorta-hopeful ending?

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? - Infinity Cube's pretty dang sappy if I do say so myself. Also Love Triangles has a really sweet ending too.

8. do you get hate on fics? - In the past I got told my fics weren't worth reading because there isn't smut in them. And a few times I've been told they didn't like the endings of certain fics, that it would've been better and more preferable to them if I'd done X, Y or Z. But lately since engagement's been down across the board, the hate's been gone too.

9. do you write smut? - If I do I write it as non-graphically as possible. I call it flowery writing, just pretty words strung together to get a vague picture across. Like in Before. When. After. or Into the Blue

10. craziest crossover: - I haven't written a crossover 🤔 but I mean, my Reader character literally travels the Pedro multiverse in Infinity Cube so maybe that's kinda sorta close?

11. have you ever had a fic stolen? - Not that I know of

12. have you ever had a fic translated? - Nope

13. have you ever co-written a fic before? - Me and @beecastle have teamed up before on a few fics. I'm a lousy writing partner tho. Very slow and picky so bless Bee for putting up with me

14. all time favorite ship? - I have so many otps. GhostSoap is very big for me at the moment tho <3

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? - The Last Mandalorian comes to mind. I have notes and notes and notes for that fic, but between my brain fighting me and also, like, 1% interest from readers it just doesn't seem like a likely goal to reach.

16. what are your writing strengths? - I don't really have any noteworthy ones

17. what are your writing weaknesses? - Too many to list here

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language? - No problem with it. I do prefer though where somewhere in the fic, either in parentheses afterwards or at the notes at bottom that it says what the meaning is because I'm lazy and don't wanna google it 😅

19. first fandom you wrote in? - Mandalorian

20. favorite fic you've written? - They're all faves in different ways. But...Before. When. After is special to me--not just cuz it's my only non-Pedro fic, but I think there's lines of writing in there that are some of my personal best 😊

Non-pressure tags: @kyberblade @wheresarizona @wardenparker @mermaidgirl30 @morallyinept

[yeyinde]

Hi! Hope you're doing well. I just have to say that you're my favorite writer and a huge inspiration to me. Everything you write, even the small little snippets, just make me so happy.

Are you by chance still doing the WIP snippets? Cause I go feral for Jacob Seed, and when I saw you had a WIP for him I can honestly say I almost fell out of my chair.

Hiya! This is so sweet!! Thank you so much 🖤😭

Jacob Seed is one of those characters who I'd very much like to chisel open. He's so intriguing. His ideologies are so unfounded but his conviction and his reasons for them are what I find really appealing.

This is quite a deviation from what I normally do—third person, technically no reader-insert (I kindaaaaa made an OC? Oops) a bit darker (dragging me back to my slasher roots), and pulls a lot from a pseudo-religious upbringing. It is really fun to write, in theory, but is one of those fics that is mentally taxing in the sense that every piece is part of a bigger picture. Despite that, though, I could probably talk about this fic more than any others because of all the weird influences it draws from—Siken (it was originally gonna be titled war of the foxes but I felt that was a little too on the nose so I changed it to wishbone which is even more on the nose), bible mythology (in particular, the warring interpretations of Abaddon, iyjyk but also??? Abaddon and Michael, though???? 👀), and um. Cult shenanigans.

Here is a little bit about it!

He's in her head now, a sickness polluting her grey matter until it's shaded the same colour as the burning auburn around his wicked mouth. The one that splits wide, and croons about her failures, her destiny, until the rasping slur of his words are skeined tight around her gyri. Festering like a cancer she can't clove. One that sounds more like a truism each time she hears it.

Jacob has his finger on the trigger of a loaded gun with the barrel pressed tight to her cerebellum. A tool, he said. One without a master. Until now. Until him.

She can't fight him. Can't get rid of him. 

She wonders if she ever even tried.

And for some Rook x Jacob (kinda sorta but in a weird and twisted way):

Jacob doesn't give an inch even with the barrel of her Whitetailer pointed at his heart. A beat, then, where the world around her seems to shiver at the smirk he sends her way, his own hand fixed, deadly and calm, on the butt of his garish rifle. Red. 

(Of course. Of course.)

He stands on his tower, a castle of rock in the middle of the Whitetail Mountains, surrounded by unfathomable wilderness, and the broken remnants of his wolf beacons, his fallen men. His Judges. 

They lay by her feet, discarded offerings to the man who vultured her sense of self, her agency, until the person she was before all of this was lost, collateral to a war she never agreed to. She feels it sometimes, the putrefying remains of idealism and hope clawing at her skull until the tissue shreds and bleeds. Feels it like a second degree burn, a scab she can't stop picking at, and then pushes it back into its sarcophagus. It's an effigial prison in which she's both a warden and cellmate. 

It rears, now, as her patent yellow boots sink into the ribcage of a man torn to shreds by her bullets, her fists, mourning the loss of who it once was—a person of empathy and compassion. Someone who would have recoiled at the sight of viscera staining her laces, bone crunching under the soles of her feet. 

But it's gone. All she feels is annoyance. Disgust. 

They rendered it out of her. All of them pulling and tugging until bits of herself ripped apart, left behind in their regions, in their hands. Faith holds her belief. John, her compassion. Joseph, her fear. And Jacob—

Well. 

She tries not to think about what she lost in his cages. The gaping hole where her humanity once sat is heavier now that it's empty. 

It doesn't matter. Not anymore. 

Everything has been culminating to this point. To this moment. She feels the weight of it, the truth, in her bones. Unlike John, unlike Faith, only one of them will walk away from this still breathing. Her fingers tense. A proxysm. 

She finds, as the sky fades back to an endless blue and the mournful call of a loon breaks through the coppice, that she isn't entirely sure she wants it to be her. 

"Everything, all of it, has been leading up to this moment," he calls down to her, answering the unspoken assertions that bounce around the bruised fibres of her head. Hunt. Kill. Sacrifice. She gets it. She hates that she does. Hates him, she thinks, even more for making her see, for turning her into his executioner so easily. "So, Deputy, what will you do?"

If it were Faith, there'd be something about the path. About choices. About submission and surrender. Giving up agency and self in the single-minded pursuit of devotion to the Father. John, maybe a taunt. A sotto voce about atonement and true self. Of life admit the torture. A baptism in pain. 

But Jacob is neither of them. 

"Are you gonna kill me, angel?" 

She thinks about it. Really does. Lets it grind down into her synapses as she imagines a world without him. A place in Hope County where they celebrate his death and burn his body on an altar, unwilling to let the cult take him back until he's charred bones and ashes. Sure, then, that he's gone. Forever. Always. No more. 

Jacob will burn. 

She thinks about it, and she shudders. 

It feels anticlimactic despite the effort he put into setting it all up. Moving beacons and men and cages and wolves. Tracking her down through the forest until she led them to the Wolf's Den, and put a bullet in the head of the only man who made her feel some sense of footing amid a crumbling world. A place that wasn't quite home but it was something. Purpose, maybe. 

It stands in sharp contrast to the dogfight between them. Jacob and his soldiers. A commander playing a game of war from the comfort of his sanctuary. They're gone, now, and she hates that she isn't, too. That no matter what she does, how open she leaves herself, he still lets her sneak up the side of his perch until she's crouched behind a log, until she can hear the weight of his footfalls as he searches for her across the blood smeared landscape. 

It's a fallacy. He knows where she is despite the engineered confusion in his tone. What was that? He asks. Come out and fight me, Deputy. You know I'll find you—

The red dot follows her, always just a few inches from where she's hiding. A farce. She hates it. Hates that he isn't really fighting her. A marksman, he said (hoorah), but the only bruises he gave her are in her mind. Mental scars. Stupid. She hates him. Despises him. 

(Hates herself even more.)

It feels like muscle memory when she peers over the ledge, her bloodied knuckles leaving smears of her fingerprints behind. He's there. Waiting. 

Killing Eli, killing phantoms. Killing men. Killing him. It all congeals in her marrow. Effortless. Easy. She's killed him so many times already that she's sure, now, she could close her eyes and find her mark. 

Over and over again, he turned to a nebula of dust when she jumped on his back, wrapping nimble fingers around his neck. Mocking words haunting her as he dissolved into the aether. The Father will protect me. You need me. Don't fight it. Just let go. You've served your purpose. Let's say you get out of this. What's next? You go back to running errands for a teenager and a housewife? You are nothin' without Eli. 

"Come out, come out wherever you are, honey," his crooning taunt makes her hackles raise. A part of her hindbrain prickles with unease. Jacob brings a certain terror out of those dormant depths—an atavistic fear coils around her jugular. "Let's finish this." 

She wants to end him. To kill and maim and bend and break until nothing is left but bones and tissue. She wants to ruin him. Wants him to ruin her. To end this conflict at the top of a precipice she never wanted to climb. 

She says nothing—not to him, to them—but scuffs her feet against the gravel for no reason other than to make him look. He whips around, hand steady on his rifle. 

"Finally done hiding, Deputy?" 

The red dot hasn't left her vicinity since she prowled after him, unleashing hell and gunfire on the men—his Chosen, his best—that tried to keep her away from him. Hiding, she thinks, and wonders if those words are a projection. 

The Whitetailer—the only anchor she's had since she found it laying behind in an abandoned cabin—hums under her fingers. Pulses with the blood rushing through her veins. It's always been heavy. An SA50 isn't easy to carry across a landscape she mostly ventured on foot (as the near constant ache between her shoulders can attest to), but it feels both heavier and lighter than before. Another contradiction of many since she walked out of the Den and into a world on fire. Since she slit his throat and watched him turn into cosmic dust. 

It's steady, though. Unwavering. There's a gash on her arm from one of his Chosen. A bullet in her thigh. The unhealed wounds—bliss bullets and arrows—twinge with pain when she tenses her muscles, breathes in deep. Her broken ribs scream. She feels like more like a throbbing contusion than she does an actual person, still caught in the tendrils of her conditioning where his voice echoes in her head, the last notes of a song that turned her world into ashes. Only youuu… he'd crooned.

Only you. 

Only ever you. 

She gets it now. 

Or, she wishes that were true. It isn't. It isn't because maybe she's known all along. Since the bunker. Since Pratt. One, two, three. One, two, three. And then he's got you. Since she blinked into cognisance surrounded by the fallen bodies of the militia who didn't survive the training, who had bullet wounds that matched the shots she took in Jacob's trial. 

Since she went back to the Grand View and walked through the rows of cages in the parking lot. 

She gets it. 

She knows what she has to do. 

Her grip doesn't falter when she aims up. Up. His stomach. His lungs. His heart. 

"You can't. You're done. You've served your purpose, and now it's time to accept your place, Deputy. Where you belong." 

She thinks of Tammy. Of Wheaty. There's nothing left for her. Not anymore. 

Nothing except—

She wonders if there's a flash of panic in his cerulean eyes. A brief flicker of fear. But all she sees is contempt. 

"If I die, you'll be lost forever—"

She pulls the trigger. 

[pertinax--loculos]

November

So, as it turns out, November went quite well for me.

My original goal was to do @winterandwords's CalmWriMo, with the goal of getting some words down and establishing a writing habit with my new job. The start of the month it didn't look like that was going to happen. The new job is kinda overwhelming with study (long story), and I just didn't have the brainpower to do anything else.

Then, on the 18th, I got hit with some inspiration for INUNDATE. And I decided fuck it, I'll jot down that scene, because I've lost a lot of ideas for that WIP from not writing them down when I think of them.

Then I continued jotting down scenes, and I ended November having added a total of 28,600 words to INUNDATE.

Which is fantastic. I'm not gonna lie, study did kinda fall by the wayside in favour of writing, but it's been a couple of weeks where that's not the end of the world. Going forward, I'd like to try and prioritise study a little more; probably do some writing straight after work, have a break, and then get into going over what I've learned for my job during the day.

There's also the small problem that yesterday I was fucking whacked with inspiration for a new WIP (my ultimate curse D:). So it's possible I'm gonna start writing that -- though at the moment it's all Vibes(TM) with absolutely no thought of any sort of plot. But they are, like, super cool vibes, so I'll just see what happens. I have an assessment on Monday regarding the stuff I should've been learning when I was writing rather than studying, so after a weekend of study we'll see how I go and whether or not what I've been doing is sustainable alongside the training of my new career.

(This past week has been a sorta follow-along with qualified employees; like A Week in the Life of what would happen if we pass the training. And that life is very conducive towards writing. Which is exciting. But I have to pass the damn assessments to get there, so, y'know, priorities.)

I will say that it being NaNo month definitely made a difference -- there was a few days this week where I could've not written, but knowing that I was adding words to a total I hoped would be pretty good for starting ~twelve days before the deadline was certainly motivating. I do love the NaNoWriMo energy, even if I very rarely ~technically~ participate.

But yeah, generally speaking, November was a success. I'm really glad I got some words down, including some plotting stuff for INUNDATE.

(INUNDATE in itself is an interesting WIP -- it's basically a romance story, but it only covers like the first two-thirds of the beats of a romance, because the other third occurs during CASCADE. So it's been a fun exercise to write, but I don't think it'll ever be properly, like, 'marketable', because it's so intertwined with another WIP/story and you don't get the conclusion until you read that (notably unfinished) WIP.)

But anyway! I hope everybody else had a good November -- whether or not you were participating in NaNoWriMo, whether or not you're in my hemisphere and enjoying the turn towards warmer weather, whether or not life is treating you well. With any luck I'll be able to be on here a little more often as we head into the new year (which, btw, it's December which is fucking terrifying). But even if I'm not, I'm always thinking of you guys, and almost always lurking to see what you're up to. ;)

[aether-friskets]

wip questionnaire tag game yay

thanks @ap0stle for tagging me in this!! :D

The WIP im gonna talk about is uh. well it doesnt really have a name i just call it "that game i want to finish eventually" or "the survival horror game idea" lol, I'm bad with names so itll prob remain that way for a while

What's the First Part of Your WIP that You Created?

I can't recall exactly when this was, but I remember I was specifically listening to this video which, judging by its age, would've been around 2 years ago now. Something about the black and red blair witch game art used as the cover (which, i... totally legally... played that game out of curiosity later on, wasnt big on it as a blair witch fan or a horror fan in general, but you will see one little element from it as one of a few inspiration points for whats kind of becoming a major mechanic in my game at this point lol) mixed with the music itself gave me this mental image of someone driving on a road through the woods with that very black and red lighting, and i had this feeling that they were looking for someone. That's technically the very vague basis that sprouted into my game idea, which has changed a lot since then, and now I don't think a scene like that will even happen. Aside from that, my first concept that's actually stuck around, is the protag looking for their sibling (usually my brain leans sister so i may go that route, but i tend to imagine characters w/out gender in mind til later lol) and sorta ending up in the wrong place at the wrong time as a result. I have some more stuff in mind of course, but a lot of stuff is still pretty vague lol

If Your Story Was a TV Show, What Would the Theme Song/Intro Be?

Oh man this is such a fun thing to think about conceptually, I feel like the WIP is almost too much of a WIP to be sure... But it'd probably have to feel very 2000s, maybe have some kind of industrial edge? Something to capture the idea of an ordinary person descending into something they couldn't possibly be prepared for i guess loll Those things aren't necessary, but the setting is mainly going to be in this as yet unnamed city during the mid-late 2000s? I haven't settled on the exact year yet so that may not be fully accurate lol. The game probably will get some kind of intro style thing, because I absolutely LOVE that in the silent hill games (and also twilight princess had something like that!! which is very nostaglic for me lol) so I think it would be awesome to do in mine lol I feel like the closest I've heard to the vibe I imagine are like. 1. Into to The Mine from Lost in Vivo 2. Broken ALSO from Lost in Vivo (i swear something abt the music in this game just has the vibes) 3. Theme Of... by Drackfreeee I guess it makes sense because it's a silent hill inspired song that you can even hear bits from the game's intros in there but. man. it's got a dreamlike quality that fits the more surreal elements i have in mind well, plus i can totally imagine it playing in an intro thing showing a bunch of scenes from the game and setting that scene of descent When i get to that point in making the game, ill probably look back at songs like these for ideas on what'll work

What Are Your Favourite Characters You Made, and Why?

Since this thing is still so much a WIP, I don't have a tonnn figured out about the characters, so it's kinda hard to pick. But I can talk a little about what I DO have figured out! As I said previously, the protag is gonna be looking for their sibling. The basic idea being that they're visiting their sibling in this new city they've never been to before, and things go all wacky sideways real fast. I feel like I'm either gonna love 'em or hate 'em because due to the unintentionally personal nature of this story that I've been embracing more as time went on, they're probably gonna be the most like me out of the cast. I'm hoping to make them an enjoyable protagonist to play as tho, not annoying but not TOO bland or anything. The sibling is probably gonna end up reflecting a lot of my sister, cause, as i said, accidentally personal story that I'm kinda just embracing at this point lol. I wanna not make any of the characters 100% like a single person I know, so I'll probably mix in traits from other people I like lmaooo. but we'll see what they're like by the end. One thing i already DO know is I really wanna circumvent the idea of the person you're trying to find/save being this "damsel in distress" type, so I think it'd be great if when you finally reunite, they're dealing with the whole situation way better than you LMAO. or at least on par. The hardest part about that tho... Is I'll probably have to make a half-decently competent partner NPC for that part of the game... I've also had this idea for a guy based on a dream I had. I think they will be playing a part but I'm not sure yet, as stuff is still very vague at this point. The idea is of someone who is "helping" you for part of the game, only to fuck you over later on because, what can I say, I love the heartbreak of getting totally screwed over by a character you trusted sometimes :3 The idea being you'd make remote contact early on and they'd promise to help lead you to your sibling but in reality either A) they've just been trying to lead you to your death subtly lmaooo or B) more likely option, theyre tricking you into helping them instead, and then will leave you for dead once you actually help them. I feel like it'd be fun to write a guy who is a total opportunist and probably a smug asshole, idk lol There will probably be other characters? but these are the only ones I have in mind so far, and as you can tell, they arent very fleshed out at all yet

What Other Pieces of Media do You Think Your Fanbase Would Share?

Jeez, the idea of garnering any kind of fanbase in and of itself is kind of cool but scary lol I figure they'd probably like a lot of the stuff that's inspiring me in the first place, like Silent Hill (duh), Cry of Fear, Jacob's Ladder, a bit o' Twin Peaks... Basically if you like some guy going through some weird fuckin' psychological shit lmaoo More specifically, i want the vibes of stuff like. standing in a subway station at a weird hour, feeling like the only person left on the planet. Opening a door into a room that shouldn't logically connect. Cryptic phone calls and texts that don't seem like a person would make them. Desperately trying to reach someone, to find the answers, but it seems like the place itself is fighting against you. Stuff like that, I guess

What Has Been Your Biggest Struggle With Your WIP?

Man, what hasn't? I don't have much experience making games so I'm learning a lot mechanically as I go, but I also have never properly finished an entire original story before. I think the main thing, is like... I'm scared whatever I create will feel too derivative of the works that inspired me, that the thing I create will ultimately fade into the shadow of other things that did it better. So every time I have a new idea, I worry about if it'll come off too much like [x thing] and that's been making the process even slower loll Aside from that, I know the character's primary goal, and I have certain locations I think would be cool to include, but I don't know SHIT about any of the details of getting from the start to the end and what will fall in-between, which does make it tricky lol. I need to really consider what kind of path I want them to follow, and what will happen after they reach their goal, stuff like that. It's all just very vague right now and trying to work out the details is almost intimidating even tho thats the main part of making a story.

Are There any Animals in Your Story? Talk About Them!

At the moment? Not that I'm aware of. There may likely be enemies with animal-like appearances, though. I could see that being a thing I do. But I haven't really gotten into monster design just yet.

How do Your Characters Travel/Get Around?

At the moment I'm suspecting primarily on foot, however my concept for the intro of the game involves the protag taking the subway. So there may be some subway shenanigans too, idk.

What Part of Your WIP Are You Working on Right Now?

I'd say the main reason the story is still so vague, is I've been trying to get the main technical/mechanical elements set up before I get too much into the details. Or maybe I'm just stalling. So, I'd say I'm mainly working on stuff surrounding the non-story parts of the game. But in terms of the story, I want to flesh out the protag and the sibling more into proper characters first and foremost, I'd say.

What Aspects (Tropes, Maybe?) do You Think Will Draw Your Audience in?

I'll be real I got no idea but... I guess if I think about it from the perspective of what I think would draw me in from an outside view...

Use of classic survival horror stuff like fixed camera angles (plus I'm going to have both tank and analog controls so more people can enjoy it :])

Putting a guy in A Situation

The general atmosphere and setting (as I sorta said, mid-late 2000s urban enviro with weird illogical stuff happening and potentially kind of dream-like elements, i hesitate to say liminal but maybe a bit liminal? I also want to go for a ps2-ish graphics quality cause i feel like its criminally underrated lol and some people may feel like me on that part and like that)

Vaguely queer protag? like i said i dont have much fleshed out but if they're gonna be based on me at all u KNOW that bitch aint gonna feel cis or straight i'm sorry it's simply fact (also admittedly I've been wanting to make them like some kinda genderqueer or somethin because its my video game and i can do what i want, and seeing human protags that are nonbinary in some way gives me life)

Weird-ass shit??? like if you vibe with weird silent hill dialogue or the weird stuff that just. happens in twin peaks, im hoping to bring a similar energy in my own way

Possibly more stuff as I flesh things out more lol

What Are Your Hopes For Your WIP?

Honestly I just hope I make something that I feel proud of. I wanna make something that makes someone feel the same way that stuff like Silent Hill, Cry of Fear, Lost in Vivo, Twilight Princess, hell, UNDERTALE did, where that shit changes you. Where you can feel the love for the genre or medium it's based upon. But at the very least, I just hope at least one person likes it, I guess That'd be enough for me

Uhhh erm I have no idea who to tag I am so bad at this part.... If you want to do this consider yourself tagged :]

[ievamorta]

WIP

I'm becoming silly because I was in bed with my thoughts for a day and the ideas are making my brain go crazy so yeah hehe hihi new OC sorta kinda idk yet tbh gimme a break you can guess the species of this gal though in your free time or something

another thing i wanna add, this is an oc which will be a lot more accurate to what i am irl, appearance wise at least.

my own transition has very much been purely social thus far, it's been 3 years of living in a closet with a few very specific outings where i've presented myself to my friends and the rest of the world as a woman, there's reasons for this (duh). meanwhile my main OC - Ieva is absolutely amazing and i love her but she is also someone who i cannot completely relate to looks-wise. this oc is a lot about depicting ieva the person (through my twisted furry mind of course). to depict and no longer be shackled by the damage of puberty, to make peace with the fact of who i am and most likely will be. it's not healthy to set out unrealistic transition goals and meanwhile ieva the owl is not quite "unrealistic" she's also just very far, it's like drawing myself becoming a formula 1 driver and saying "yup, I can do that" when i am 18 with no money or serious prior racing experience and with an eating disorder. TECHNICALLY it would be possible (see: Pastor Maldonado) but it's not really happening y'know. ieva the dog is just, laid back, imperfect, silly, edgy... imperfect. she'd be me. she's still someone i wish to be, but despite her dog form she's so much more human than my imagining of ieva the owl, she's so much more imperfect, which is why she's so me.

lastly, i'm sorry. i'm sorry i like this. it will keep happening.

cya.

[voltstone]

AYDF | scene comparison

Episode 1: BLOOD-STAINED | Original vs Remaster

So I've decided to release a few posts comparing scenes from the original/abandoned version of AYDF to the remaster for like. Funsies. Namely because I think it's nifty to see how far my writing's come since 2020 (…technically 2021), but also to see how far the fic itself has.

— — —

Original | Last Edit: Aug.28.2021

Remaster | Last Edit: Mar.15.2024

— — —

Yes, the remaster is highly indulgent, hence why it's longer. But. I don't care. So. Yay.

Anyway, I will do this up to the interlude since that's where the original left off. But, rather than 4 total posts (including this one), there will be 6 because instead of avoiding S3, I'm actually trying to address and kinda sorta "fix" the season. Hence why it's now 4 chapters instead of 2.

These also won't be things I necessarily post after the remastered is updated. Some of these will include WIPs too. This one, however, is posted. The chapter's been up for a while now.

Ah well. >:)

[maybeimamuppet]

2, 5, 9, 11, 16 for the fic asks?

hello darling friend tysm for the ask!!

2, will you participate in any fandom exchanges or fic challenges, etc?

if i’m asked to absolutely!! i think they seem so fun but being in smaller fandoms i think they’re a lot harder to figure out. i’ve actually considered forming a few of my own for like halloween or the holidays and stuff but i’m kind of the only cadnis writer still somewhat consistently active and everyone else who writes for mean girls is into very different things (which is great we love to see it but it makes group stuff hard lol) and matilda i haven’t checked up on in so long i have no idea what’s going on in that little corner anymore whoops

5, which wip is first on your list to complete this year? will you post a snippet?

we are continuing my beloved series of ‘someone has to write all the cliche fics for this ship and by golly it might as well be me”! from the looks of things the first one to be finished will be a college au (professor/student) that i’m honestly really proud of. i’ve been hammering away at it for a while lol. but we also have a few more like that and obviously plenty more that aren’t that i’m not gonna spoil just yet but i’m very excited for them :)))

“As long as I’m your professor, this can’t happen, no matter how badly I want it to,” Cady says with a sniffle. She gently presses a kiss to the corner of Janis’ lips before she pulls away and takes a couple steps back. “I’m so sorry, Janis.”

Janis watches her go for a minute, barely feeling the frigid rain slamming against her face. Cady hunches in on herself and clicks off. “What about when you’re not my professor anymore?!”

Cady freezes and turns to look at her. “What?”

“Once I graduate,” Janis begs. “Can we be together then?”

“…Technically, yes, we could,” Cady says. “But-”

“Wait for me,” Janis says. “Please.”

Cady bites her lip, but she nods after a second. “Okay.”

“You will?” Janis asks, finally feeling hopeful enough to smile for the first time in what feels like years.

“I’ll wait,” Cady agrees. “If you’re willing to do the same. Come to me once you graduate, and… we’ll see what happens. Okay?”

“Okay,” Janis says, smiling around a sob. Cady does the same before she continues walking away.

unproofread snippet brought to you by maybeimamuppet :)

9, short term goals… what do you hope to complete this week or in january?

i’m really hoping to have that and the next chapter of pt done by the end of the month!! my third writing birthday is at the beginning of march and i’m really hoping to have a batch of fics ready to crank out by then :)) matilda is kind of wonky for the time being bc i have very few wips and i need time to sort through which requests i can actually do/want to do so they might be a while but focusing on my meanies for a while will be a nice change i think!

11, would you like to try any new fanfic genres or tropes this year?

i don’t think i do!! at least not in fics lol i’m good with my romance and family fluff sorta genres i’m in but i am trying to write a few publishable like real actual books that are a little different so we’ll see how that goes!

16, do you have one fanfic that you wrote a ton for, ages ago, but never posted? will this be the year come hell or high water that it WILL get finished and posted?

UHHHH honestly most of my wips are kinda like that lol. i hyper focus on one and then get bored with it and move on to a new one and herein lies the cycle of Big Issues. so i have a lot of like half-done oneshots (including requests i literally got in 2021 and am sobbing trying to get done i feel so bad). i do have an entire folder of ‘unpublishable fics’ that will never see the light of day. they’re mostly just writing exercises but some of them are just really embarrassing so most of them stay there lol. and i have a multi-chapter The Good Place au i started years ago and couldn’t figure out other than the title but i only wrote a couple scenes for it but that probably also won’t ever see the light of day. ce la vie ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[time-to-write-and-suffer]

I'm not writing a new cool wip with fae in it or anything haha anyway completely unrelated: Need a name for a Goblin King TM that's edgy but on purpose, like sorta tongue-in-cheek edgy.

His parents were the fae version of Morticia and Gomez Addams, so like edgy but loving. She was a kelpie who ate people and was technically a cannibal and he was a goblin who was generally normal and honestly his biggest crime was marrying a naked bog woman who ate people, and together they had a beautiful edgy son who doesn't eat people but loooves to sit in a bog and play the violin, whenever he's not doing king stuff or otherwise failing to do king stuff because that's the plot, he needs help, he needs a girlboss wife STAT because his previous wife died for not being hardcore enough (His mom's sword ate her. Don't worry about it.)

He's green and his hair looks like it's wet all the time but it's not or is it? Kinda greasy but in a sexy way. Green all over. Too many teeth when he smiles but he's got dimples so it's ok. Did I mention he's green? Also has a tail with a little tuft of hair on the end.

Name would ideally be nature-related. Potentially a word name, or even a virtue name but like edgy. Bonus points if it can be turned into a cute and non-threatening nickname.

Please and thank you<3

Forreal though I'm struggling so hard

[broken-everlark]

Fic Tag Game!

I was tagged by the lovely - @nouklea thank you for tagging me in this. I saw everyone else doing it and was excited when you tagged me🥺💕

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

21

2. What’s your AO3 word count?

93,466 -- holy shit.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I write for The Hunger Games and Wednesday. I have fnaf movie drafts. For, of course, Mikessa/Schelly.🥰

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Black Cat

Does to Me

Pretty Little Poison

High on Me

Doubt & Trust

5. Do you respond to comments?

Almost always. Usually, delete or freeze the hateful ones.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

You are Mine. -- I guess you can count this as angst? I wrote an everlark Halloween related fic, but that was back when I tried writing in first person, and it's not good😅

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Doubt & Trust. -- I guess. Since I haven't really posted or updated any of my longer fics.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Yes. I used to get anons on here talking bad about my fics, I used to get a lot recently with my wyler fics, but I usually read and delete. Because if I don't delete or block, I usually will continuously read them and torture myself.

9. Do you write smut? What kind?

Yes, I just recently started writing smut. It's not the greatest, but I used the entire Wyler Kinktober to try & get better. I write any kind I'm comfortable with or one such as Non/con where it's not too graphic, I usually don't write a lot of non/con

10. Do you write cross-overs?

Not really. I don't enjoy when characters meet other characters from other universes.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope.

13. What WIP would you like to finish but doubt you ever will?

Probably Captive in the Darkness. An everlark fic of mine and a few drafts of everlark that I have scrapped because I just lost motivation.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Hmmm... that's really hard. I recently have absolutely love Petroclair & Wyler, schelly. Everlark will always be one of my first ships. I used to love stony & spiderwitch but sorta fell out of those. I guess Everlark can count as an all-time favorite.

15. What are your writing strengths?

Honestly, I think I can write some good gore and horror it's just kinda hard to get the right words sometimes.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Foreplay & Kissing. It's so hard for me to try and write sexual tension. Honestly, writing sexual intercourse in general, I feel like I'm pretty bad at. Also, it doesn't help that I'm constantly doubting my writing.

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I can try but definitely need to use a translate app or something.

18. First fandom you wrote for?

If you want to be technical, I guess IT (2017), but for Ao3, it was Everlark.

19. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

To the Ends of the Earth -- THG fic with httyd au. because I absolutely love httyd & I have so much going for this fic, I just need time to write.

20. What fic would you want to rewrite one day?

Definitely Black Cat or Captive to the Darkness.

(Literally, the only reason why Black cat has so many kudos is because that's when the wyler fandom actually.. nvm.. & it was my first long wyler fic. Other than that, it wasn't great.)

Tagging (idk who has done this😅) --- @iamfandomcrazy @thee-antler-queen @mega-aulover @pookieh @mellarked-katnisseverdeen

[literaphobe]

i do not watch mlb but i follow you, i always check the tag when it is trending on tumblr, and i watched a video about it once, so i kinda sorta get what is happening and gather info through gifs and essays. i know now they are dating and are very cute, but i'm confused whether they still do not know that they are ladynoir? how does it work regarding their love square, when one side is fully together? it's some sort of emotional cheating with their alter egos but not really??.. really confused but very curious. fuck adrien's dad though. stream sadf

hello my darling!!!!! tysm for checking on my silly little show <3

no they don't know that they are ladynoir! and ifl the s5 finale set up things that could really rock their relationship as adrienette (namely the very many secrets she is keeping from and about him). ladynoir currently see each other as justttttt buddies but imo. i think them emotionally cheating would be very funny. just because like. this is the ONE place where technically it wouldn't be cheating but also it would. and the layers of that would be very hilarious to me in a fictional setting. it is also technically a y7 show. so i dont expect it at all. theres also a chance that adrienette doesn't break up. which yknow! will be fine! but this is a very dramatic show so i def do not rule it out, esp since they can frame the break up as a 'i still love him but im BAD for him!' thing fdghaksjgjsh anyway. yes. adriens dad sucks. every bad thing that traumatizes love square can always be traced back to him. hes dead now but that doesn't stop him. hes like an expert at causing trauma

also yasss so true stream sadf but um please also do stream my new album (fic that is approaching 80k atm as a wip) when i drop it!!!! (post on ao3 and cry)

[coles-scythe]

Very very rough WIP of my man 2D for a redraw of a redraw of a screenshot of a virtual live performance. Sharing on here bc I don't want this to get much attention and I wanna gush about him a lil. Old art + screenshot and f/o gushing under the cut.

AAAA the improvement from the sketch alone holy cowwww. The drawing is August of 2019, so nearly 4 years ago. Very excited to finish this one, hopefully I can tomorrow.

Anyways-- I wanna talk about my history of listening to Gorillaz and my slowburn crush on 2D. Plus a little of what I've figured out about my S/I.

2D is one of my older F/Os by technicality. I never actively self shipped with him until recently, but I've had that big crush on him since I was a freshman in high school. So around 2016/17. I was vaguely aware of Gorillaz before then, but only because my cousins had shown me two different music videos. One of Clint Eastwood, and the other of Devil Inside by Slipknot. Watching those back-to-back + having a phobia of eyes did not turn out well and for the longest time I was terrified of 2D because my cousins told me he didn't have eyes at all. I later learned from a friend I met in my freshman year that isn't entirely true, his eyes just have eight ball fractures and are drawn to look like they're gone. I had also apparently confused the Slipknot music I had heard for the Clint Eastwood video, so that friend made me watch the video again with them and I realized I actually really like the song lol. From there I fell down the whole rabbit whole for Gorillaz and 2D quickly became one of my favs. Russell is sorta still my fav because I'm biased towards drummers, but Stu is a very close second LOL. I read a bunch of fanfiction, mainly X Readers of him on Wattpad. Fun fact, this is also around the time I started seriously questioning my gender, and started reading/writing male readers to explore those feelings lol.

So then I listened to their music and doodled them occasionaly when I was first starting art in my sophomore year, but I didn't really get involved in the fandom or anything besides reading fanfiction on Wattpad. 2017 was peak for me since they dropped Saturnz Barz after years of silence from Plastic Beach. Despite all the new music I was constantly listening to, my mini-hyperfixation on the bad quickly faded. Two years passed before I realized it, it was suddenly 2019 and I was a fresh high school graduate with a massive hyperfixation on Splatoon. Phase 5 had concluded a few months prior and my brain decided it was a great time to have a little redux of my Gorillaz hyperfixation.

I started drawing them, mainly 2D, more often and got very into the fandom on Insta and Tumblr. Met some pretty chill people, a few of whom I'm still mutuals with on my main :D!! But the entire time, I was still in my "self ship is cringe" phase and kinda ignored anything I was feeling towards 2D. I was still reading and contemplating making my own X Reader fics of him on Wattpad, but that was all irrelevant to me I guess. Eventually that hyperifxation on them passed and I returned to my regularly scheduled Splatoon hyperfix.

Fast forward to another year later in 2020 and into 2021, I finally embraced my cringe and started self shipping again for the first time since I was like 9. First with Erik from Dragon Quest, then several Persona characters (most importantly Adachi lol), then Happy Chaos, and I've been jumping around from crush to crush I've had since I was a kid. Very good for the soul, 10/10 would reccomend reconnecting with childhood F/Os lol. As of a few months ago I starting thinking of 2D as a potential F/O before officially naming him a romantic F/O!!

All this time I've been tossing around different ideas for a self insert, but haven't really explored it until I named him my F/O. I'm still figuring that stuff out, but I at least know they knew each other before D-Day! Not too sure about Phase 1 stuff, but I do know they'll reappear in Stu's life during the band's break between Phases 1 and 2 and maybe they start dating each other by the time Phase 2 does roll around OwO. And then my insert also gets kidnapped by Murdoc and gets shipped off to Plastic Beach with 2D. They become the stand-in drummer for the band while Russ is MIA. Then for Phase 4 and beyond? I have no idea lol.

Sorry for just rambling about this, but I like sharing the origin stories for my F/Os and 2D is one of those that has a very long and somewhat complicated story. I've liked him a lot since I really got into the band's music, but I was so absorbed into cringe culture and avoiding being called cringe that I just ignored any potential story I could tell between us. Plus all the gender dysphoria and less than stellar reactions I got from my friends didn't exactly help matters lol. But I'm no longer an egg, those unsupportive friends are out of my life, and I am cringe and I am free babey!!!

[bylightofdawn]

I am finally home and lawd I am tired. D&D was enjoyable the second time around. I still want Holga to do unspeakable things to me. Xenk is still unbearably hot and I want him to do unspeakable things to Edgin.

Also one thing I really took away from the second viewing is how awesome the cinematography was. Sure, it definitely had a sorta edgy experimental film student gimmicks to it but it kinda works. And I kinda want to see more big Hollywood movies play around with camera angles and crazy shit.

Like how everyone lost their collective shit in Black Panther when Killmonger literally walks into the throne room after meeting T'challa off the waterfalls and the entire world flips upside down. I want more of that shit.

Take some chances and stop giving us cut to a million pieces herky jerky action pieces. Doric just flipping through the portal and into the wagon was such a badass shot. Give me more of that, plz.

Ugh it's 6:30 and prolly too late for me to try and take a nap but bruh I am sooooooo tired.

I'm going to TRY and get some writing done but I have no idea how that's going to go.

I do TECHNICALLY need to go address the fact I completely skipped over writing a scene with Jango and Obi-Wan in chapter 13.

And yanno not me putting off writing the next part because I know it's going to emotionally drain me.

Or I could go take another shower because my hair is so yucky from the amount of product in it. I'm definitely ready to wash my face.

Honestly, a shower sounds like a winner right now. And maybe that'll wake me up enough I can focus on writing.

NGL that fucking Cody and Slick idea I had yesterday HAS NOT LEFT MY HEAD. The brainrot is super real so maybe I'll just break my own rules and play around with that today. I'm just worried I'll lose focus and then motivation on Seeds. When I think I'm literally like 3/4's of the way there. I have one more major plot thing and then I'll be in the home stretch. Weh. Hopefully, the shower will help clear the cobwebs.

EDIT: The shower did not help, I’ve tried actually napping and I am in this weird place where I’m so tired but my brain just won’t turn off enough for me to sleep. It’s just slippery eels swirling around up there and I can’t quiet it enough to switch off. I’m just not gonna make WIP Sunday or so anything but lay here in bed staring at my phone willing it to turn 10 so I can feee Genji and the ferals and go to sleep.

And I will bet money I will get a third or forth wind at around s 9/10pm because my body hates me.

[emphasisonthehomo]

for the fic writer asks: 🚀 + 🦈 + 💡 + 👑

My Ask Box

Fanfic Writer Ask Game

🚀 Do you like to outline your fic first or create as you go?

I have a very rough outline in my head of where I want things to go, and then as I write a have one big word document for the Chuck. Then I basically section Big Moments I want to hit. The past few months I haven't been writing in chronological order, which I think is one of the reasons I've been so productive. It's fucking bananas, idk how I'm doing it but I am.

🦈 Which character is the toughest to write?

I find Steve challenging to write, but his POV is also very fun. His approach to things is very straight forward, he's impulsive and stubborn. He also goes with his gut instinct, which is basically the opposite of what I do, so it's interesting to try and get into that mind set. For as difficult as I find it, I do seem to be going for his POV a lot.

💡How many WIPs do you currently have?

W/ H50 I currently only have two, Where Waters Do Not Curve (which is technically kinda sorta finished, but there's a bit more I'm vaguely thinking of adding, so I'll include it) and the Yet To Be Posted Professor Danno.

I am thinking about adding to Move with the Currents, but nothing is in the works for that rn.

Starred Worm I have three, Depth of Field, Jedi!Maul, & Vermilion.

All three of those are currently on hiatus, because the motivation and inspiration just isn't there. Sorry y'all. H50 eated it.

👑 Do you like writing short fics or long fics?

I wish I wrote shorter fics, but plot has a tendency to run away from me, and stuff that was supposed to be a short character exploration winds up being fucking uh.... Over 70k. Lmao. Whoops.

[lumilasi]

💝💞💌

���what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

That there's a story in the first place: build-up that leads somewhere, emotion/thought-provoking things that readers can feel and/or relate to hopefully, consistent enough characters, the list goes on. Its near impossible to choose what element is the most important, because to me its all puzzle pieces, that when put together, form the proper picture!

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

I suppose I was not expecting my first fic in the bnha fandom (Reanimate) to be so well-liked, let alone make 2 more that end up even bigger 'hits' so to speak lol

I don't really go out posting stuff with any expectations really? I guess what happened with Reanimate/Crossroads/Family Secrets just caught me off guard, as at the time I wasn't used to having so many readers for a story I'd made. Let alone 3 stories lmao

(Side note, kind of not really related to the question but also kinda sorta is I guess? This question just reminded me of this lol; I recently reread my bleach fic series 'Elementals' and my response wasn't pure cringe like I was expecting lol, I actually still reallly like that one a lot and think its worth a read, although its a tad too, er, spicy for my current style of writing lolol)

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

I'm sorta planning out a brand new Grimmichi fic for my OG Bleach fandom, the idea of which has haunted my brain for years. I didnt make it before cuz I was swept into my current fandom, but now I'm at that point where I need something else to work on alongside my main fandom writing to keep things fresh. Its a canon divergence type of thing that also includes a bit of childhood AU stuff, Ichigo complaining about Grimm smacking people with whatever he can get his hands on - only to realize later Grimmjow uses 'mediums' like that to lower his strength, because actually using his bare fists could Fucking Kill People - Grimmjow pretending to be human, first unknowingly then knowingly, and Urahara being involved in the Big Secret as usual.

Talking of the 'main' fandom as well, I have this huge scene planned in HoG where Sensei again has to save kidnapped Tenko, and he runs to All might and Nana as well, with Nana confronting him about the decay power he used earlier, reminding her of the carnage left behind at her son's house ruins. (They still dont realize who he is lol) that scene's gonna be fun and dramatic. I just dunno how to get there yet OTL