#also also also!! forgot to mention this but!! the ''dear reader i have drank too much'' was SO FUCKINF BEAUTIFUL AND IM????? WJBEHSHHSDH????

[ilovespec]

Shark love~

yandere Fem ! gang leader × Civilian Fem ! reader.| part 2.

WARNING!!!: a small mention of trauma, obscene language , YANDERE IS A FUCKING GANG BOSS , Yandere has nerve problems , yandere and Y/N are female, illegal entry (into the apartment) , somnophilia (in the form of kisses and hugs without Y/N's consent) , drinking alcohol , yandere deceives Y/N .

part 1

part 3

6390 words.

It's been a month since Y/N moved to this city! Surprisingly, there were a lot of polite and nice people here... The salary was paid regularly... And there were even a lot of places to have fun! But every day she imagined two of these girls in turn.. Whom she met on her second day in this city... It was as if they were watching her ... Although it is possible that she is paranoid, or she is just tired at work...But lo! Today she had her well-deserved vacation!! And she decided to go to the club..

(Time skip)

It was already evening, and Y/N was standing at the mirror and applying light makeup.. She was wearing a beautiful black dress, just above the knee..and just in case, I took a small purse.. For money and phone. And after 15-20 minutes, she was already sitting in a taxi and driving to the club...

｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆

And so, she has already arrived at the club and sat down at the bar...

- A strange-looking girl bartender : good-good night to you ~ cutie ~ what will you order?

The appearance of this bartender girl is very.. Unusual... She has tanned skin, curly GREEN hair, and a muscular build.. A scar on the right eyebrow, and a scar running through the upper and lower lip.. Black little earrings in the ears, and a black bandana on the head... Her name tag had the name "Erba" on it

-Y/N: beer for me, please..

And just as she was about to take her purse out of her purse, she was stopped by a large , calloused and tanned palm covered with scars..

- A familiar voice: and me, please.. "White Russian". I will pay for me, and for this simpatico coniglietto.

Y/N looked up... And I saw her "old friend" SQUALO!! She sat down on the chair to the left of Y/N as if nothing had happened, threw one hand behind her as if "hugging" her, and held her hand for a couple of seconds without letting Y/N get the money, and then let go of her wrist and paid to the bartender "Erba" in cash...Then, Squalo turned her attention to Y/N

-Squalo: haha~ how small the world is.. Good night to you, Y/N.

That night, Squalo was wearing a black sleeveless T-shirt, a black and white bandana on her head...Uh..a black and white tie with a shark print...? Okay..black trousers with a leather belt that had a plaque.. In the form of a shark, and also, she was wearing high, black leather lace-up boots. Squalo smiles toothily at Y/N, once again showing her terrifying teeth..

-Y/N: and good night to you too..Squalo..

-Squalo: Oh oh oh... Why are you talking to me like I'm 50 years old? I'm only 33 years old..

-Y/N: well... That's the point.. You are almost 10 years older than me..

Squalo laughs hoarsely.. Her laugh is quite intimidating.. And strangely, there were fewer people in the club when Squalo came..but nothing , maybe it 's just a coincidence ..Squalo gulped down her cocktail, and Y/N slowly drank her beer... Squalo waited for Y/N to finish her alcohol, AND TOOK HER HAND WITH THE WORDS

-Squalo: Dear Y/N~ let's go dance, huh?~

When they reached the dance floor, Squalo started dancing furiously.. And some strange , frenzied and loud music was playing in the background... and Y/N hesitantly connected to it...

｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆

After dancing for QUITE a WHILE, they sat down to drink again... Squalo drank a little, and since Y/N had a vacation, she drank beer without limiting herself... Since she even forgot that Squalo pays for everything...

(Timeskip)

After a while... Y/N was already COMPLETELY drunk!! Her face was flushed like a tomato, and she no longer hesitated to joke, laugh and gently hold her hand, or hug Squalo (much to her delight) and so it went on... UNTIL LATE AT NIGHT FUCK!!! And finally, when it was about 4 a.m., Squalo gently put her hand on Y/N's shoulder

-Squalo: huh~ we had a lot of fun.. But I think it's time for us to go home, you need to call a taxi-

Squalo abruptly cut off her monologue as... Y/N fell on her breasts and passed out. Well... This will make Squalo's task easier! Now you don't have to secretly send your man to bring Y/N to her house! Squalo carefully, as if Y/N consisted of glass, picked her up in her arms , and looking at her lovingly went to the exit ,but her subordinate came up to her.

-Subordinate Squalo: Uh... boss... And why was it necessary to expel all drunks or people?. By "substances" from this club? Most of them were imprisoned for drunken brawl , drunk driving and other hooliganism!

SQUALO KICKED HER SUBORDINATE IN THE FACE, WHICH CAUSED HIM TO FALL WITH A BROKEN JAW AND NOSE !!

Squalo: don't make such a noise, bastard... Don't you see..? My darling is sleeping in my arms.. you don't even understand how fucking happy I am right now...

Squalo came out with Y/N in her arms, and got into her car, put Y/N in the seat next to her .

｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆

After a while, they ended up in apartment Y/N.. and yes. Squalo has been here before, but Y/N didn't know about it.. Squalo went to Y/N's bedroom, put her on the bed and...she took her pajamas out of the closet, and changed her clothes because Y/N can't sleep in such a dress and heels. Then, she just put Y/N on the bed, lay down next to her and began gently kissing her skin, trying not to wake her up... Ha~.. Her angel's skin was so soft ~... Just as she thought..and then, she just She wrapped her muscular , rough and scarred arms, around her fragile little body . And hugging her, she fell asleep with her in her arms...

｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆

The next morning...

Y/N woke up with a severe hangover.. And somehow she opened her eyes... huh?! Is she lying in her bed...?!!!?? AND SOMEONE 'S FUCKING HUGGING HER!!!!! Y/N turns in shock, and sees that Squalo is hugging her, and looks closely at Y/N, and when she saw that Y/N was looking at her, she smiles..

-Squalo: oh~ dear! You're already awake!!

Squalo kisses Y/N on the forehead..

-Y/N: ha..?

Y/N blushes.

-Y/N: why... why do you call me that...?

-Squalo: why do I call you that..? Don't you remember?!!? We started dating yesterday, honey~

(In Squalo's mind: I'd rather lie and be with my sweet angel~ !! Than I will bribe the cops so that I won't be imprisoned for illegal entry..)

Y/N blushes in shock, and the whole effect of the hangover is forgotten immediately, her face immediatelyIt took on a beetroot hue , and she buried her face in her lap

-Y/N muffled: how embarrassing....

Squalo laughs, gets out of bed and goes to the kitchen... And after 15 minutes he returns, TAKES Y/N LIKE A SACK OF POTATOES AND CARRIES IT TO THE KITCHEN!!! She sits her down on a chair, and puts a plate of food in front of her, and she goes to the balcony.. Probably to smoke...

-Squalo: Bon appetit, babygirl >3<

How do you like this part? I tried my best, lol >3<

about what kind of music was playing in the this club:

[tartigglez]

"goodnight, dear"

zhongli x gn!reader

genre: fluff

word count: i forgot to get one then celeste reminded me and i was like "aaaaaaaaaa"

summary: you're exhausted. luckily, only comfort awaits you as you come home.

tags: zhongli is very soft and its adorable yet odd, reader is tired to the point of almost collapsing (uh oh), lot of physical touch/petnames

tw/cw: mentions of fainting, light mention of insomnia but its not really specified idk (lmk if i missed anything)

a/n: i have written too much and the fic hasn't even started yet. anyslays just had a bath just drank tea feeling soft time for writing. also this is lightly based on the lyrics of "goodnight, dear" by youngk bc yes

opening the front door of your home with a click was always a satisfying feeling, but especially today. the sheer amount of work and deadlines on your back at the moment would be enough to send anyone spiralling, so can you really be blamed for the aching in your bones, your dizzy head, or your eyes' constant will to close? there is nothing more on your mind than slipping under the covers of your bed and shutting your eyes until the weariness fades away...

entering the hallway, and shutting the front door behind you, you are immediately greeted by the scent of bamboo shoot soup wafting at you from the kitchen, an immediate giveaway of your lovers presence.

after a moment, you hear a lid being placed on a pot, and footsteps approaching you.

"my love? are you well?"

the soft baritone of zhongli's voice was exactly what you needed to hear right now. he placed a hand upon your cheek, and a gentle kiss on your forehead, before helping you remove your jacket, slowly sliding it off your shoulders. after hanging it on the rack he turned you to face him, and you could not evade the worried look on his face.

"did something happen? are you sick? you must rest now."

"'m fine, li', just-" you paused, trying to think of a word, trying to ignore the fact that the room was spinning, and trying to ignore the fact that your legs feel weak beneath you. "tired, is all".

in announcing this, you felt your legs begin to give out, luckily your beloved archon was there to catch you, wrapping one arm around your waist, picking you up effortlessly and carrying you to your shared room.

he placed you down gently on the bed, which was unbelievably comfortable, especially now, in your state of weakness. the sheets were made by the most skilled textile workers in all of liyue, the nation your lover prided himself on.

"darling, who worked you to this point? is there someone who must be taught a lesson? perhaps a few flying rocks would do the trick?"

you let out a weak laugh at his words

"no, it is mostly my problem for taking such a workload on, please don't worry about me."

"you're lucky i love you, or else i would not hesitate. i am still held under the impression that many problems can be solved by flying rocks"

you smile lightly, and whilst trying to form an adequate response to your lovers attempt at comedy, your train of thought is interrupted by a brief removal of the hair from your eyes, and a gentle kiss pressed to your lips.

"wait here my dear"

placing another gentle peck upon your lips, your beloved leaves the room, presumably in order to ensure his soup hasn't bubbled over the entire kitchen by this point.

he returns, much to your surprise, in his half dragon form. his hair has been removed from its usual ponytail, and now flows down his bare back. the horns on the top of his head glow with gold in the dim light of the sunset coming through the bedroom window, and his tail presents itself in its own glory, gracefully moving behind the ex-archon.

"i figured you may feel more comfortable if i am in this state. may i lay beside you?"

it was hardly the first time you had seen zhongli look like this, but it never ceased to amaze you. for someone who did not care about others perception of him whatsoever, he truly always managed to look ethereal.

you nodded your head to indicate for him to lay down next to you which he did immediately. although he disguised it as wanting you to "feel more comfortable", the true reason that he presented himself in this form was because he felt he would be able to take better care of you like this, to further protect you from any threats of the outside world.

he manoeuvred himself next to you, so that he was facing you as you lay on your side. he pulled you closer to him before rolling onto his back and pulling you onto his chest, so that your head was buried in his neck, breathing in his scent of slightly burnt caramel and vanilla. his strong arms wrapped themselves around your form, as did his tail.

"my dear"

"mm"

"you must promise to never let yourself get to this state again."

"mhm"

"now." he brought his pinky finger to yours and wrapped it around it, which was something he had seen the mortals of liyue do whilst making a promise.

you couldn't help but laugh at his blissful unawareness, and tightened your pinky around his.

"promise"

"good."

you can hear his heart beating, and his light breathing threatens to lull you into a slumber incomparable to any other.

"li'?"

"yes my dear? is everything alright? do you need anything?"

"can i touch your hair?"

this struck the archon as quite the puzzling request. why on earth would you want to touch his hair?

"if you so wish, my lily, just be gentle"

you let out a content smile, moving your hand to make contact with his brown locks, and pressing a light kiss on the side of his neck as a sign of your gratitude.

despite how lovely this was, it felt oddly silent to you.

"li'?"

"hm?"

"will you talk me to sleep? i missed you"

"of course dear. shall i tell you the story of the time streetward rambler brought that absurd gift to cloud retainer? perhaps i have already told that one, hm. what about the time i had xiao run an errand to mondstadt and- ah."

already, you had drifted off into a slumber, courtesy of the age old words of your beloved.

he wrapped his tail around you ever so slightly tighter than before, pressed a kiss to the crown of your head and sighed in content at the sight of his exhausted partner getting some sleep at last.

"goodnight, dear"

[long-life-to-bsd]

PLS PLS PLS A PART 2 FOR THE NEW FYODR FF???? THE ITS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD??????? PLS???? NOT FORCING YOU OR ANTYHING IDK HOW AUTHORS WORK BUT THAT WAS SO GOOD!!!!!!

I definitely wasn't planning a part 2 (even though I had the scenario in my mind already) , but sure, why not: I love Fyodor so much and I love writing about him too. Especially in stories like this.

I'm also really happy that you liked it🥺🥺😭😭, thank you so much💗💗

Anyways...

It's for your own good pt.2

Pairings: fyodor × female reader

Warnings: toxic and abusive relationships, manipulation, Fyodor and his God complex, drugs

The last few hours had been a living nightmare. You couldn't decide if we're more anxious about what you did to Fyodor, his health or the possibility that something went wrong. But for this last thing you were lucky enough to count on Nikolai.

"Oh no, oh no no no dear. Oh no. We cannot have Fyodor losing his little dove, can't we? I will absolutely do my best. You are my favourite form of entertainment, do you know?" He was thrilled about it. And even if you weren't sure about him, certainly he knew more than you about Fyodor's plan. Your boyfriend never considered you good enough to have an actual important part in his plans. And considering what you just did, maybe he was right. Why did it even occur to you that it was a brilliant idea?

But now, waiting for the drugs to end their effects is truly terrifying. Checking the hour, then keeping an eye on the monitors, making sure Fyodor was still alive... all with the fear of the consequences of your actions. And considering that Fyodor was supposed to be already awake, you started panicking about the amount of drugs you used.

You obsessively checked his pulse, almost forgetting about the fever that seemed to have gotten much better. He looked incredibly pretty while sleeping. So relaxed, so normal and yet, so magnificent. But if usually you would have lost yourself in his beauty, today it terrified you. His hand that you usually found so elegant looked to you like the weapons they are. His mouth that you loved to kiss looked ready to pronounce your death sentence. His hair that you loved to brush and braid looked stained with your bood.

"It's good to know that my little traitor is terrified by her actions." His raspy voice echoed in the empty room. In the moment you knew that your examination was starting: he was contemplating if it was worth something keepingyou alive. With a shaking hand you offered him a glass of water "for your throat" you said in an excessively sweet voice. You then drank a bit of it: because you felt like you were burning and to show him it was OK, you weren't drugging him again.

"My traitor is so sweet with me now. Offering something to drink to me, I'm honoured. And don't bother showing me that the water is safe, I know it is. I know you know how to use drugs safely, I taught you." He said with a smirk. Obviously you knew how to use them, he taught you. Except that he forgot to say how. He forgot to mentions the times you found yourself passed out.

"My little traitor lost her words? Don't yo want to say sorry?" He was still weak, his voice was showing that, but the resting had definitely helped him. At least your death wasn't completely useless.

"I'm sorry Fedya. I wasn't thinking, but you see... you have to understand" the desperation in your voice was like honey to him " I did for you, I did because I was worried and you never listen to me. Belive me, I am sorry, but I would do it again because your well being is all that matters to me. Sorry". You definitely looked desperate and you could tell by looking at the bliss on Fyodor's face. You felt tears running down your face: did you deserve this? The person that was supposed to love and protect you laughing at your desperation, deciding if he needed to kill you or not.

You gently took his hand and kneeled next to your bed, hiding your face in it, almost like you were praying. If you wanted a chance to survive you needed to humiliate yourself, you knew it. So when his other hand caressed your head you felt relieved. And sick. It was the moment. He was deciding. You saw thousands of men being in your position, praying for their God to save them. You don't remember someone walking away.

In the room your silent cries were the only sound. If felt like ages: he liked it, he craved your desperation. Deep down in his heart he wanted to save you. He cherished those moments with you, you tenderness with him, your support, you kisses. You were a devote companion. A loyal follower. A caring partner. But not anymore. You made him angry with your foolishness. But were you replaceable?

The only thing he knew was that you had to be punished. He wanted to hurt you, but maybe not by killing you. No. If he'd saved you, you were his forever. You would have to be grateful to him, to kiss his feet thanking him for his mercy. You would have leaved in fear and terror waiting for him to snap. An obedient sweet companion. Sure, he didn't except you to always stay silent, it was part of the fun, but seeing you desperate after, praying for his forgiveness? Could he actually renounce to all of this?

"You know dear" He said interrupting the loud silence "it didn't surprise me that someone dumb like you made such a mistake. But it was also my fault, I should have known better, controlled you more, teach you better... don't you agree that you can't do nothing without me?"

You fastly nodded, ready to say everything he wanted, to do anything he asked. He was so good. So loving with you. Forgiving someone dirty and impure like you...

"Punishing you for something I'm guilty too isn't right, don't you think? And is it even a betrayal if you did for your boyfriend to feel better? No. I wouldn't have forgiven you, but like this? No, I'm sure you really weren't thinking, little thing. You did it because you love me" He continued looking in your eyes, stroking your hair. He looked and sounded so sweet. You could forgive him anything when he was like that.

He then abruptly took a fist full of your hair and pulled you towards his face and whispered cruelly in your ear "But you better start behaving now. I don't give a second chance to no one. Do you understand, dumb bitch?"

His words left you speechless. You understood in that moment who was in front of you. Or better. You remembered who was in front of you. You felt yourself drowning in fear, slowly understanding what life was waiting for you.

And yet, you couldn't find Fyodor anything but handsome. You still cherished his touch. Like all the other times. His slaps hurted, but his hands on your face felt so sweet. You loved him ti the point it made you sick. But could it be different? Could a sane person love him?

You were still there, crying silently, kneeled next to him after he had left your hair go. His hand was still on your head though. I gently reminder of his powered over you. You looked so pretty in his eyes in that moment. Prettier then ever. His little pet was finally obeying him. He even felt sorry for his harsh word, but maybe it was the drug, still fogging his mind, softening him.

Was it his fault if you acted like that? You deserved what you got. You had to be grateful. Only in this way you could be purified from your actions. Only obeying him could make you pure again, maybe even more than before.

He was going to be good whith, he thought. He was going to teach you. He would be patient but strict. He would be merciful with his little dumb pet.

He gestured you to stand up. Immediately you did it: everything to make him happy. And in fact, he smiled. He smiled at seeing you shivering for the terror in front of him. He smiled at seeing you obeying.

"But before you, why don't you give me a kiss, dear? I'm sure it would make me fell much better. Do it for my own good. Do it for your own good."

[erule]

Drunken confessions | b.h.

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x reader

Summary: Billy is drunk and he thinks that he doesn’t deserve you, but you reassure him that he does. He has changed, for you.

Warnings: established relationship, drunk Billy, mention of smoking, maybe OOC Billy, angst, fluff, two suggestive jokes, mention of beating somebody, mention of toxic relationship, mention of jealousy

Word count: 1.2K

A/N: hi! Billy’s probably a little OOC here, but I just wanted to write something about him. Feedback is always appreciated by a writer! Hope y’all like it. Enjoy! X

Tags: @creme-delacreme​ (thanks again for your suggestion!)

“It’s not like I’ve never seen you like this before,” you say on the phone, while you’re looking for your clothes.

“You said the same thing, last night,” Billy replies and you’re imagining his stupid smirk on his lips, right now.

“Tell me what happened this time, Billy or I swear that I’m gonna go to bed again,” you affirm, while changing into some fresh clothes. You hear him sigh on the other line of the phone.

Billy called you in the middle of the night, something you’re used to, but this time it feels different. He always calls when he needs some stitches after a fight or when he drank a lot because his father scolded him, but now his voice is tense. He almost didn’t even reach out for you, because he didn’t want you to see him like that.

“Just come here,” he says. Then he adds: “Please”.

You arrive at the pub a few minutes later. The bartender doesn’t even has to show you the way, because you see him instantly. He’s sitting at the counter, a finger drawing some circles on the edge of the empty glass. He seems sad, not amused as he always looks.

“Billy?” You call him, sitting next to him.

He turns immediately and you see some sparkles being born into his eyes. He hugs you, holding onto you for dear life. His perfume is intoxicating: you can smell it even underneath the beer and the smoking. For a moment, you think he’s crying on your shoulder, instead, he has only left a small kiss on your neck and when the awareness hits you, shivers slid down your spine. He's not somebody who likes to show you his affection to you with this cute gestures, so you’re surprised that he did that this time. You’re still thinking about it, when you notice that he’s now again distant from you, with his body but also his mind. He’s probably still wondering whether to tell you what happened or not, but you’re not going to leave this place if he doesn’t, so it’s not like he has a choice.

“Baby? Hey, look at me,” you say, while turning his chin to you with a finger.

“Baby…” He repeats, with a pair of glossy eyes. “I forgot how sweet your voice sounds when you call me like that”.

“Billy, you’re scaring me,” you say. Why does it feel like he’s dying?

“I’m sorry, I just… I just… I don’t know, Y/N. Maybe I was wrong about a lot of things. Maybe I was wrong about you too”.

You gulp.

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve been trying to convince myself for months that I deserve your kindness, but I don’t. I’m not worthy of you. You shouldn’t accept my anger or to take me home in the middle of the night anymore. It’s better for you to date somebody else, somebody who treats you right. Even Harrington could…”

“Alright, stop it, stop it,” you interrupt him. “Is your father still messing with your head? You said that sleeping at my house is helping you, because you barely see him now. So what is it? I’ve never been into Steve. Did he make you think that I am?”

He shakes his head, but he doesn’t talk. It’s like he’s fighting with himself about something, but you can’t catch his glances. Then, his gaze is wandering up and down your collarbone and you finally understand.

“It’s the necklace, isn’t it?” You ask and he clenches his jaw. “It’s because you gave me your necklace. Are you scared of your own feelings, Billy?” You murmur the last sentence and he grips the glass.

“You don’t have to take me home, I can walk. Come back to your house, you’re wasting your time with me anyway,” he says, but you hold his wrist.

“Who talked with you today? Because yesterday, when you gifted that necklace to me, you seemed quite serious about us. Billy, we’ve been together for a year! It’s not like I don’t know who you are,” you reply.

“I’ve told you so many terrible things, I’ve driven fast with you by my side because I was jealous, I… You should really find someone else, Y/N, someone better than me…” He says, while shaking his head with his eyes closed.

“What did you do, Billy?”

“Nothing, I swear!” He exclaims, then he squeezes your hand. “Please, you have to believe me”.

“I do, baby, I do,” you say, while caressing his cheeks and he relaxes in the palms of your hands. “And you don’t do those things anymore, now. You’re sleeping better, you’re barely drinking and you don’t beat people anymore. Whoever hurt you is gonna talk to me about it,” you say.

He sighs, then he clenches his jaw again. He leaves a kiss on the back of your hand with softness and your heart melts.

“Don’t do it. Don’t come for them,” he says, serious. He even seems himself again.

“It’s Max, isn’t it?” You guess and he instantly looks at you in disbelief. “She’s the only one you would protect, apart from me. What did she do?”

“I was mean to her for no reason as always and she told me that I don’t deserve somebody so amazing like you, but she’s right, Y/N,” he affirms again.

“Billy, I just wanna be with you. That’s all. Max was upset and she said something she didn’t want to say. I bet that she’s gonna apologize tomorrow. Anyway, the decision is mine and I don’t want to leave you. Alright? Not now, not ever,” you tell him, then you give him a smile and he sighs.

“It’s not fair that I need you so much, while you don’t. Don’t give up on me, okay? Even if I behave like a bad guy, I would never hurt you. Just fight with me, okay? Tell me when I’m wrong, I won’t yell at you again like I did a year ago. I’ll listen to you. I won’t drive fast again,” he says, then he hugs you again, so tight you almost can’t even breathe.

“Billy, I need you too, but now you have to let me go in order to breathe again,” you joke and he does what asked.

“Sorry, sweetheart”.

“And you haven’t been the bad guy for months, now. You’re different, Billy. It’s gonna be alright”.

He doesn’t say the he loves you. It’s not something he does. But the way he looks at you, oh, if eyes could talk, he would have told you that by now. How much fondness can be into someone’s heart? So you take his hand and go to your car, in order to come back home together.

When the two of you sit in the car, you catch him looking at your neck again.

“You know, that necklace… looks pretty good on you”.

“If you’re gonna say something related to me being sexy with it, I swear…”

“No, no,” he chuckles and his smile makes you feel your ears on fire. He’s still the most handsome guy of Hawkins, for you. “I just wanted to say something really cheeky, but maybe it’s better not to. I have to protect my reputation, after all,” he says, while winking at you.

You approach him in silence, with a sly look. He stares at you, confused. Then you capture his lips in a passionate kiss and he seems to die there, on that seat.

You’re still trying to catch your breath, when you finally talk again: “Tell me”.

"Are you trying to manipulate me?"

"Perhaps".

"Someday, I hope that necklace is a ring."

You smile at him.

"I’d like that".

[cedricslover]

can you write a oneshot with wolfstars daughter dating george

Here you go bestie<33 thank u for requesting!!

As a wolfstar shipper and a George girl myself😌, I hope you like this bestie<33

Pairings: Sirius x Remus, George x Fem! Reader

Warnings: some homophobia at the beginning, teasing Sirius Black lmaooo

Word Count: 2.4k

“You want a future with me?”

“Hello dear” you turned around and saw one of your fathers, “Dad!” you jumped and hugged him, you just got off the Hogwarts express, this would be your last summer break since you’re going to be seventh year the next time you step at Hogwarts. 

“How’s my baby girl?” He looked at you as you broke the hug, you smiled at the sight of him “Doing great, where’s dad?” you looked around while he picked up your trunk, “Here!” you heard the voice of your other father and your heart jumped out of joy when you saw him, you ran to him and hugged him too. 

“Here’s a chocolate for our princess” he handed you a bar of chocolate, “Remus! You ruined my moment with her, you should show up at the exit, not here, you’re ruining my quality time with our daughter!” suddenly Sirius was having a tantrum, not likely a tantrum actually, he was just whining. 

“No” Remus answered and looked away while he bit into his own chocolate bar. You laughed at them, “Stop acting like kids” you said and linked your arms to theirs. 

“Excuse us?” They both said in unison and looked at you, their forehead creasing that made you laugh even more. 

“You may” you nodded while closing your eyes and your parents just looked at each other, and it seemed like they were blaming the other one as to why you are so sarcastic.

“Let’s just go home” you dragged them by the arms since theirs are still linked to yours. You giggled as you saw Sirius not even struggling while carrying your trunk and at the same time being dragged by his daughter, and giggled even more when you saw your other dad who was just eating his chocolate quietly while observing the surroundings. 

You three were just like a happy family, parents picking up their child that came from a boarding school, if it weren’t just the ugly looks the people gave you.

It seems like Sirius was also bothered by how people looked at the three of you, seriously? Can’t they just manage their own business. 

Remus on the other hand was like used to it, he didn’t show any bothered expression, he didn't want to feed their satisfaction. That is something you got from him, that’s why you just let the people be, but of course, Sirius being Sirius.

He removed his arms from your link and grabbed Remus' face and took a bite from the chocolate that was centimeters away from his lips-being that he was eating it, your eyes widened registering how did that happen so fast, your jaw dropped, and a smile slowly formed in your lips as you saw Remus turning scarlet. 

 “Gross” you removed your arm that was around Remus’ and walked past them, your smile didn’t left your lips as you see mixed reactions from the crowd at the station, some were smiling, some were confused, some were probably uncomfortable, and of course, the people who were obvious to be insulted or disgusted. 

Needless to say, Sirius is your father, so you flicked those people who looked openly disgusted by them, they were sneering, frowning, and rolling their eyes.

“Fuck off git” you mouthed as you walk, turning to them while your middle fingers were greeting them. 

“Good job princess” Sirius laughed and high fived you as you three arrived at the front of number 12 Grimmauld Place, you weren’t sure what was the good job for, is it for flicking those people off or for successfully apparating, you decided to shrug it off and just viewed the house, it was your father’s ancestral home, it was filled by terrible memories of his childhood but with you three living there, it was all buried deep down. 

You unconsciously stared at the beautiful house that was concealed in the muggles eyes. You felt nostalgic seeing your dads walking towards the door, memories from your childhood appeared in front of you.

A girl in a yellow flowy dress, around the age of four, was running towards two men with their arms open wide, expecting that the little girl would run to them instead of the other, but what they didn’t expect was the little girl would run straight to the space between them and both hug them from the necks. 

The little girl was giggling while her dads were teary eyed, that’s when they realized, she never had favorites, if she had the choice to not choose, she wouldn’t. 

“Y/N?” Remus called you from the doorstep, his head was cocking from the door. “Oh!” you ran to the door “call me before dinner yeah?” you told Remus as you removed your shoes. You raised your gaze to him with flashing eyes and maintained eye contact, waiting for his answer. 

“Alright” he replied to you, you felt sudden joy not even sure why but it did make you kiss him on the cheek. “Thanks!, Love you dad!” you shouted as you ran towards the stairs, 

“HOW ABOUT ME?!” you heard Sirius who was probably at the kitchen doing Merlin knows what, “I LOVE YOU TOO!” you yelled while you ran the stairway. 

“YOU BETTER BE NOT PREGNANT WITH THAT WEASLEY BOY’S CHILD Y/N!” Remus’ voice echoed and you laughed and stopped from entering your room and peeked down while holding at the stair rails.

“DON’T WORRY, I’M NOT PREGNANT!” you shouted back and you heard his sigh of relief, “YET!” you added and sprinted to your room and closed the door. 

You heard both of their voices shouting your name. You cackle while heading to your study table, your room was cozy, it was filled with different drawings you made when you were a child, there was your very first black leather jacket that Sirius gave you before he bought you a bicycle, it was hanging from a corner, properly displayed, he was expecting you to like motorbikes like he did, and you did, you like riding motorbikes. 

There was also your very first hair accessories that Remus bought for you, hair pins, hair clips, headbands, and many more. He was the one who likes to tidy you up, even before you make yourself dirty by running and riding the bike. Of course Remus struggled but thankfully, Lily did teach him a few hairstyles when they were teenagers, and the rest of his knowledge came from going to different hair salons just to ask how to style his daughter’s hair. 

An owl bumped on your window that made your brows raise and shift your head to that direction. 

“Errol?” you said the name of the owl and he dropped a letter to your hand before he headed to your table and lay down, acting very exhausted, of course to your utter panic you immediately got water and placed it in front of him. You sighed as he drank through the container, enough for him to drink. 

While he relaxed you opened the letter. 

Hello beautiful, 

                   I’ll arrive there at six, see you. 

Your husband, 

George

You bit your lower lip and smiled, then you forgot, you haven’t told your dads yet. Without wasting any time, you apparated to the kitchen. 

“Hey” you voice lingered behind their backs and they jumped, they turned their heads to you with wide eyes, “You don’t do that here” Sirius said while holding his chest, “I almost had a heart attack” he glared at you while you just tried to not laugh,

“You’re just getting old dad” you stated that made him glare at you more, Remus smiled very very sweetly at you, trying to bribe you to not say it “and you too” you smiled back, looking at their sour faces. 

“Enough” Remus raised both of his hands and shaked it, trying to shoo you. “I was about to say that George’s arriving at si-” you didn’t have the chance to finish your sentence when someone knocked at the door. 

“I’ll get it” you announced, you three were quite tensed as to who might be at the door, you weren’t expecting visitors this early, it wasn't 6 o'clock yet. 

You opened the door, ready to run back to the kitchen if something goes wrong, but what greeted who was something-or someone, who had a mischievous smile, his red hair shining because of the sun, and his brown eyes gleaming at you. 

“Hello dove” his smile became wider as he caught the perfect view of his girlfriend, her Y/H/C hair complimenting her skin, the eyes that were obviously shocked to see him, and the smile that slowly formed on her soft lips. 

“George!” you mentioned his name when you processed who was standing in front of you, he gave you a peck on the lips before he grabbed your waist and pushed you carefully to the side so he can walk, “hello Sirs” he cleared his throat and rubbed both of his hand on his pants before giving your fathers a hand shake. 

This would probably be their very first ‘formal’ meeting, they already met each other at Hogwarts, during the Triwizard tournament, but that wasn’t formal enough, unlike now. 

George was scratching the back of his neck and was being really nervous, you just surveyed them, and when you noticed something it was too late because your mouth opened before you can even think twice

“Dad, you’re the smallest” you told Sirius that made the three of them look at you, firstly George was shaking his head slightly, trying to tell you that it was not the right time, then Remus was also looking at you, he was trying his best to cross his brows but you can see the ghost of smile that was in his face, on the other hand, Sirius was there shooting daggers at you with his eyes like you’re not his child, then he slowly looked at Remus and George. 

George was obviously the tallest, but only an inch taller than Remus, while Sirius, he’s just not a six footer. 

“I-uh come George let’s prepare the table” even though it was still early, you reached for George’s hand, still feeling the stares of your father, you wanted to laugh, so hard, but he might not buy you your favorite cereal, so you chose to suck it up.

“Why’d you do that?” George started talking as you fetched his wand and used it to prepare the table using magic, “it was my mouth’s fault, anyway, you told me you're arriving at six, it's not six yet” you answered and watched the floating plates and utensils. 

“I was trying my best not to laugh dove, please don’t do that again in front of your parents, I might lose goodie points, and I meant six minutes not six o'clock” he chuckled as he hugged you from the back, wrapping his arms around your waist and laying his chin on the top of your head. 

“Even if you lose goodie points, I’ll still love you don’t worry” you faced him and cupped his face, his face that was always as perfect, those freckles that can make a constellation, his eyes that you would prefer to look at rather than the stars, and his hair that would always stand out. 

It was like a magnetic pull, your faces was slowly getting nearer and nearer, almost there, the finish line, his lips onto yours, inches turned to an inch, heartbeats getting fast, and you can feel his breath, then his soft lips was supposed to be next 

Not until someone cleared their throat that made you push George out of reflex. 

“No snogging in this house, you understand that angel?” Sirius crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows, “Yes dad” you replied, slightly embarrassed so you chose to continue to prepare the table while George can’t maintain eye contact with you or anyone in the room. 

“Sorry dad” you walked to Sirius who was still in the entrance of the kitchen, surprisingly he smiled at you, “Yeah that’s for bullying me” he wrapped his arms over your shoulder “But about that almost kiss? I’m not mad don’t worry, we all kiss someone at some time” he added like it was just common sense for him to not get mad.

“I love you” you said out of the blue while you two watched Remus and George laughing at the dinner table, you rested your head on his chest, “I love you more princess” you felt him kiss the top of your head. 

“Just walk with the boy outside while we clean here alright?” Remus looked at you and George, he tapped George’s shoulder before he turned his back to the both of you and be with Sirius who was still drinking wine at the table. 

“Come on” George called you and touched your back to guide you, your eyes were still looking at your parents, mesmerized by their strong bond. 

“Georgie?” you tried to get his attention while you two walked the dim lighted streets, only the flickering lamp posts and the moon were the sources of light. 

“Hmm?” he was busy playing your hand, touching every bit of it, and even comparing it to his. “You think we would be like them?” you stopped on your tracks, feeling the night summer breeze brushing your skin, "Like who love?" He stared at you, now holding your hand firmly, "Sirius and Remus" you answered and tucked the few strands of hair that was bothering your face because of the wind,  you looked at his eyes and saw amusement and adoration all over it.

“You’re asking me that?” a lopsided smile appeared on his face, you nodded slightly as an answer, “You’re thinking of marrying me?” he asked you again, now giving a full smile, you nodded again, “You," he pointed to you "want a future with me?” he pointed to himself, his eyes smiling the same as his lips, you nodded again, oblivious of how that made George’s inner monologues that was doubting what would happen with the both of you disappear, because who wouldn’t, you’re Y/N, raised by two amazing people, you’re beautiful, intelligent, bold, and many more that he would even consider you as perfect. 

And you’re here, saying that you wanted a future with him. 

Now, with the moon smiling at the both of you, the stars being your cheerleaders, your lips met, you hooked your arms around his neck while he cups your face with one hand and the other holding your waist. 

At this night, two teenagers shared a kiss under a lamp post, during the summer of 1995. 

[kakashisdarling]

Steamy neighbor - Kakashi Hatake

Kakashi x Reader

Warning: NSFW, nudity mentioned

Find part II here.

I just moved in next to the sexiest ninja alive. But truth be told, he really gets in my nerves.

I met Kakashi Hatake back in the academy and even though my eyes were always involuntarily drawn to his figure, we were never friends. We barely shared more than a couple polite words and a simple sense of camaraderie.

However, lately he’s been truly testing my patience. We’ve discussed every single day since I moved in. He claims that I turn on my lights late at night with the only purpose of disturbing his sleep and he even has the audacity to blame me for arriving late to his activities.

What bothers me the most is that I can’t seem to get him out of my head. He even shows up in my dreams and I’ve been losing my sleep over the whole situation. This morning I feel extraordinarily tired. I decide that I’m not in the mood for cooking, so I’ll just make some juice and grab something on the way.

I sigh heavily as I look up through the kitchen’s window, but something catches my eye. My lungs feel tighter, I can hardly breathe.

Kakashi is cooking something in the stove. Naked. He is cooking naked.

Kakashi’s fucking naked. Right in front of me.

Dear god.

My eyes get lost in the way his shoulder blades shrink and stretch simultaneously with his cooking, his biceps making a show as well. Kakashi has a broad and muscular back that leads the way to his magnificent round ass and those well-built thick thighs. I mean, even his fucking ankles are sexy.

How is it even possible for someone to have such a perfect body?

Is this real?

Am I still sleeping? I scratch my eyes. I’m most definitely not dreaming, the universe simply decided to make me suffer today.

I have no clue of what to do, so I just keep staring for a while. The sight is eye candy.

He looks amazing, even with his mask on. And I can’t help but wonder how he’d look fully naked and without that mask.

Holy shit.

He turns around to grab something and I get a glorious full view. Shit. My lungs aren’t working anymore, this is breathtaking. I can’t even begin to describe what I’m seeing. His athletic chest and his well-defined abdomen are something to die for. And the most overwhelming part is that Kakashi has a morning boner…

Holy shit.

Lord, help me. All of a sudden, I’m seriously considering running to his door and helping my steamy neighbor with his cooking task. I’m losing my mind.

I can’t take this anymore; his back was already too much to handle but the front view is simply unbearable. Impulsively, I knock on the window and as his is partly open, he immediately turns to me. He looks really sleepy and his deep gaze warms my whole body. I feel the gap between my thighs soaking wet.

“Neighbor, you should really close your curtains” I advise with a thin tone.

He frowns and seems confused at first. But then it hits him.

“Are you enjoying the view?” he smirks playfully.

“I w-wasn’t… I-I didn’t m-mean to…” I nervously mumble as my cheeks turn bright red.

He laughs as he lazily closes his curtains.

I’m lost. There’s no hope for me.

How will I face him now? As soon as I see him, I’ll remember his body and dirty thoughts will cloud my judgement. And if the Hokage assigns us a mission together, I won’t be able to travel by his side and fight rationally. It’s unethical, I shouldn’t be thinking about my naked comrade.

Still unsure of how I’ll face him with a straight face, I decide that the best course of action right now is to hurry the hell up. Maybe that way, I’ll avoid the usual morning encounter.

I break my own record and get ready within fifteen minutes. But as I’m locking the door, I hear Kakashi’s door opening.

Shit. Shit. Shit. I shouldn’t have made that stupid juice; it wasn’t even that good.

“Hey” he says with a stupid smirk on his face.

And surprisingly, I still have the sudden urge to punch his face. Maybe not everything is lost.

“Morning, neighbor” I answer softly, avoiding his eyes.

I start walking down the hallway and he catches up with my step.

“Where are you heading to?”

“I have a meeting with Lord Hokage.”

“Me too.”

I nod silently, it looks like we are walking together to the office.

It’s so awkward. I need a way out.

“Oh, I almost forgot I have to stop by Iruka´s” I quickly make up an excuse to run away.

Kakashi raises his only visible eyebrow.

“I guess I’ll see you in the meeting, Y/n” he says.

I nod again as I start making my way to Iruka’s. I don’t need to stop by but maybe he could share his breakfast with me. In the end, he is my closest friend and I only drank that stupid juice before trying to escape from Kakashi.

————————

“YOU SAW HIM NAKED?” Iruka is totally freaking out.

“Don’t scream, you doucheface.”

“You know what? I’ve always had the feeling that he paid a lot of attention to you, since the academy” he says with a dreamy voice while he packs breakfast for the both of us. Thankfully, Iruka is also attending the meeting.

“Iruka, are you onto some kind of weed or something?”

“Maybe he did it on purpose. Maybe it’s something he read on Icha Icha.”

“Oh no! Did you put the same substance in my breakfast?” I cry dramatically.

“Y/n, I’m serious here.”

“Iruka, you know that’s nonsense, it was just a sleepy mistake.”

“Fine, I’ll keep the doubts to myself.”

Giggling, I take the lunch he is offering me and happily eat my breakfast as we make our way to the Hokage’s office.

“We were waiting for you” Lord Hokage says as Iruka and I enter the room. There’s only two other people inside, Kakashi and Gai.

“We are sorry Lord Hokage” I stutter. I can feel Kakashi’s strong gaze on me.

Lord Hokage nods and smiles faintly.

“Now that you’re all here, we can start. I have assigned pairs to fulfill a delicate mission. We have reports of strangers lurking in the forest near our village. We don’t know their intentions or if they’re dangerous. You have a week to gather information about them and conclude if they’re a threat or not.”

That’s good. I’ll be paired up with Iruka, as usual and I’ll have a week to fully clear my mind.

“Iruka will team up with Gai and Kakashi with Y/n. I know that’s not the usual, but I want to see how you work together. That’s all, good luck.”

Shit. I’m so screwed.

Iruka chuckles mockingly and I give him a murderous look as we make our way out.

“Iruka!” Gai calls as he approaches us. “Are you free to discuss some details?”

Iruka nods and squeezes my arm warmly as he walks away with Gai.

“So…” I hear Kakashi speak behind me. “We could grab some ramen while we chat about the specifics of the mission.”

“Sure.” I suddenly remember the incident of this morning and my cheeks heat up once again.

“Are you feeling ok?” he smirks, I know he is aware of the reason I’m getting all blushed.

“Uh mmm I-I j-just… I’m sorry about this morning.” I mumble.

“I’m not.” His smile grows as I raise an eyebrow all flustered and confused. “We’ll be working together a whole week, so I might just as well simply confess. I know that every morning you make juice in front of your window and I was aware my curtain was open this morning, Y/n”.

Wait a second… Did he just…? Is he serious?

I loudly clear my throat; I don’t understand anything. “What do you mean?” I inquire.

“I like you, in fact I always have. I never tried anything because I feared having emotional ties affecting my work as a shinobi and honestly, I thought you were dating Iruka. But when you moved in next to me, I realized it was the right time to make a move on you.”

“Oh” I am so surprised that a pig could fly right in front of me and I wouldn’t even notice. “You are a big riddle, Kakashi Hatake. But I like you, too.” As I finish the sentence a smile begins pulling up my lips.

“Well then, it’s good that I asked the Hokage to pair us for this mission.” I chuckle at the master plan of the ever so handsome shinobi next to me as we start walking to the ramen shop.

Hey guys, I hope you’re doing well! This was the first fic I wrote about Kakashi, but I just kept re-writing it over and over again until I finally fully liked the outcome. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. 

Oh, and remember requests are open(:

Reblogs are always deeply appreciated, thanks for reading <3 

[kashimos-hajime]

dear... whoever | b.b.

summary: a mandated series of long and short diary entries from the new head of R&D for Stark Industries. 

WARNINGS: swearing, LOTS of fluff, mentions of drinking and sex and hospitals and guns, general fun and witty attitude, small angst, big jealousy, obviously au after civil war. everything after does not exist. pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader word count: 9.5k

a/n: written for @softbiker​ and 100% inspired by @sunmoonandbucky​ with the format. my prompt was let me love you by rita ora and i wrote it from the perspective the singer is singing it to rather than the actual singer. this was super fun to write. enjoy!

July 31/20

Dear…

Whoever is going to read this. So… me, in the future probably. So, it should be dear WHOMever, I think, but it sounds wrong.

Is it too cliché to say dear diary? I don’t know. After all, I don’t WANT to be writing this but unfortunately I am because it’s mandated. Apparently, the psychiatrist that works for Stark Industries thinks it’s necessary that I write down my feelings and show that I’ve adjusted to working part-time superhero, full-time head of Tony’s stupid R&D department.

Something about how that much stress can cause psychotic fractures in the worst case scenario.

Cute.

Anyway, I don’t know what to write. Currently, it’s 4:23AM. The only reason I’m awake is because I have trouble sleeping on the best night. I heard Barnes messing about and because I am the Hermit of the Rec Room Couch (catchy, I know), I can hear him just walking about.

What the hell is he even doing?

To be honest, I’ve never talked to Barnes besides the occasional greetings because he’s the sort to keep to himself, I guess, and, valid. I’m not saying it’s not, considering his history, but you know.

I think I’m a friendly person, and I’m bored. He’s eventually going to hear me writing noisily because of super-soldier hearing or whatever, so I might just get up and introduce myself.

Not that I’ve been working here for years, but whatever.

I’m really bored and hungry, honestly, so a trip to the kitchen would be considered normal (and warranted) in such circumstances.

Fuck it.

Time to make a new friend or die trying. If you never hear from me again, you’ll know why.

.

Aug. 1/20

Dear Jane,

I finally got the time to write in here and you may be wondering why I have named you. Well, after the conversation at roughly 4:30 AM, here are things that’ve changed in a disorganized list. None is more important than the other. I'm just writing what comes to my head.

One: Barnes said he doesn’t really let anyone call him James. I called him James once because I forgot. Profuse apologies followed. He said it was okay and didn’t mind me calling him that. Now, in my mind, I think he’s just saying this to be polite and really just wants me to call him Bucky but he seemed sincere. We’ll see how it goes.

Two: Barnes was awake because his cat woke him up. I didn’t even know he had a cat but it’s a gorgeous white cat named Alpine that Barnes carries around in his half-zipped up hoodies sometimes. It’s adorable. He’s super soft and friendly and I love him already. He showed me all the tricks Alpine could do. Amazing.

Three: Barnes’ favourite movie is the Godfather. Totally surprising there. Please tell me you understand sarcasm.

Four: He said he liked the name Jane when I told him what I was doing up and also in the rec room (couldn’t sleep, writing in my diary) and that I didn’t want to say “Dear diary”

“Why don’t you just give it a name?” he eloquently suggested and Jane was his answer to my question of “Which name?”

Five: Barnes, or James, I guess he is now, is my friend.

Six: We said we’d meet up at 4:30AM or earlier again because I told him I wanted to show him my s’mores dip recipe.

Seven: Wish me luck. Hope I don’t get murdered.

Eight: I think I might be in love with him.

Bye.

.

Aug. 5/20

Dear Jane,

In an effort to summarize what has happened in the past four days, I will open with the fact that James Buchana Barnes is the cutest motherfucker on the planet. He’s super old fashioned, but that’s a given. He opens the doors for me, offers to take my bags up, and in the past four days, we’ve met up at around midnight to just eat and chat. Then he walks me back to my room with a glass of water and I’m left fanning myself because it’s so sweet and he’s so sweet and OH, MY GOD, I am a child.

This feels like a crush. Like, butterflies in my stomach, self-conscious every time he looks at me, can’t stop staring, and wanting to impress him at every turn sort of crush.

AKA, a middle-school crush and I feel completely ridiculous but that is besides the point because he’s just the loveliest person.

Someone should tell him chivalry is dead. Steve thinks he’s just being sweet on me, and Sam says I should flash some ass just to get a rise out of him which would be funny. He’d look absolutely adorable blushing his head off.

We’ll see. I am considering it.

What else happened? I’m drawing a huge blank.

As explained in a previous entry, I was to show Barnes my s’mores dip recipe. Huge success. Crowd loved it. That’s how I learned he has a huge sweet tooth like me. Got an email from Pep about a board meeting which I ignored. If it’s really important, she’ll see me in person. Went swimming with Sam. We started planning Tony’s big Christmas party even though that’s MONTHS away.

But, you know. We’re so busy all the time, it might be worth it planning ahead.

As head of R&D, it’s vital to me that this goes well because they’re fun when they do go well, and a chaotic disaster when they don’t. Also, I have to find a date but details will follow.

I think that’s it.

If there’s more to follow, then I’ll just come back but there really isn’t.

Oh, Alpine found my room. He’s in here right now and he snores. It’s cute, just like his owner.

Okay, goodnight.

.

Aug. 7/20

Dear Jane,

Sam, James, and I went swimming.

Pro of the day: James is ripped and that man was GLISTENING.

Con of the day: I AM STUPID in front of hot ripped men.

Pro of the day: We got ice cream together. Strawberry for me, mango for James because he wants to try new flavours, and Sam ordered some monstrosity with vanilla ice cream, chocolate and raspberry syrups, and a bunch of banana slices. A swirl of whipped cream to finish it off. It looked like diabetes in a cup and that’s coming from me.

Con of the day: James used his thumb to wipe the ice cream off my lip and my brain short-circuited. Sam teased us about it, but James very stubbornly and convincingly said we’re just friends.

Con of the day x2: We are just friends and that is NOT going to change. I cannot explain how much my heart literally fell out of my body in disappointment.

God, and James and I are meeting up at 2AM tonight so he can show me this new stupid stuffed celerey recipe he learned.

It’s not stupid.

It’s really, REALLY cute he researched it.

This sucks.

.

Aug. 11/20

The worst day ever. I don’t want to talk about it but might as well make a note on it. More on it later, I guess.

.

Aug. 15/20

Dear Jane,

Sorry, I’m dramatic. Must get it from working with Tony for so many years.

Let’s just review what occurred on August 11, 2020, at approximately 3:23 in the afternoon.

I learned that James went out on a date. A DATE. From SAM. When James had ample opportunity to tell me at our regular meeting at witching hour over celery sticks.

EXCUSE ME? WHO IS THIS WOMAN?

I’m not even mad. I’m just angry that the man I became friends with only 2 weeks ago and caught feelings immediately for is seeing other people.

I sound like a raging bitch. I promise you, Jane, that I am not. I’m just the insanely jealous type.

No, I’m not.

God, what is happening to me and why does it have to be James.

I never get crushes and the instant I do, it’s for the most emotionally and physically unavailable person ON EARTH.

Also, work was work. I was distracted, drank soup from the canteen, and generally accomplished nothing. Alpine came for some snuggles while James was out. That’s the only good thing.

Thanks, universe.

.

Aug. 16/20

Dear Jane,

So, I brought up this mystery lady over homemade sundaes.

James seems pretty serious about her because he a) apologized for not telling because he wanted to keep it private and asked me not to tell anyone and b) has a second date with her later today.

Oh, GOD. There is no point to this.

.

Aug. 19/20

Dear Jane,

What’s the point of asking someone intimate, personal questions if not because you guys are best friends?

James called me his best friend today. He says he knows me, but if he did, he’d know I feel like throwing up whenever he’s around and that his stare burns through every layer of clothing until I feel like he just knows my secret.

I told him we’ve known each other less than a month, but he said something stupidly charming about “intuition” and feeling and that this feels right and how he knows he can tell me anything and that I was an easy person to talk to.

I should’ve been a shrink.

At least, my trip to Wakanda is going to give me distance. A solid two months of no one else but me, tech, and new faces. Going there to collaborate with Shuri is definitely exciting and taking up more space in my brain than James these days.

Maybe I’ll fall in love with some soldier over there because apparently, I’m catching feelings willy-nilly these days.

See you on the plane, Jane.

.

Aug. 23/20

Dear Jane,

On the quinjet, it’s fairly quiet. It’s one of the things I love about it. The silent yet soft engines that can lull me to sleep. We should be arriving in a few hours so I thought I’d write. I’m getting the hang of this, I think.

There's a press conference later, too, in the trip with the UN and it’s not that I can’t handle it, but that I could’ve done this in my sleep and wished Tony sent someone else. I hate the press, not gonna lie.

Anyway, this gives me time to be introspective.

Is it just me or James always Okay, is it just my imagination that whenever I try to get close to James, he just kinda pulls away? Not in a romantic way. I’m not stealing anyone’s man because girl code, but he won’t even let me just stand near him anymore. It’s like I have an infectious disease only transmitted through physical contact and it’s just weird.

I don’t know.

Before I left, he said he’d miss me and that we should keep in touch through calls (Obviously, I would) and that he hopes I won’t forget him.

So, you say those things but you won’t even let me even hug you?

You’re a manipulative asshole, Barnes.

.

Oct. 20/20

Dear Jane,

I am so sorry that it has taken so long for us to reunite.

In hindsight, I’m a fucking idiot.

I left you on the quinjet which went back to New York and a different quinjet came to pick me up. I came back like two days ago so these past few days have been spent searching for you.

James offered to help, and he seems normal again.

Weird. Guess he was just in a mood with the new girlfriend and adjusting to having me as a friend, too. Guys go through that, I guess.

In Wakanda, I did not, in fact, fall in love with a soldier or anything. I curse every day that I didn’t, trust me. I’m just as disappointed as you are because I just want to get over this stupid crush. For the two months I was gone, it was like I didn’t like James at all like that. Even during calls, I could pretend we were just two teammates keeping each other in the loop. He talked about his girlfriend, I listened, I explained science because he’s a nerd, and he asked questions like he was interested.

It was FINE.

Then, he was waiting for me when I came back to NYC and it slammed into me like Bruce in Hulk-mode.

James asked if I wanted to meet his girlfriend because she’d be coming around for the Halloween party anyway, and he thinks we’ll get along swimmingly.

He really said swimmingly. He is stuck in the wrong era, but we all knew that.

I said yes, to be polite.

Here’s to hoping she’s a vindictive bitch and I am justified in hating her entire being.

.

Oct. 22/20

Dear Jane,

I met her. She’s small and pretty and mature and normal.

If I wasn’t stupidly in my feelings about James, I’d love her, too. 

She’d treat him right, give him a good home to come back to.

Best not to notice the people fighting beside you in that way, I guess.

.

Oct. 25/20

Dear Jane,

God is dead and NO ONE has eyes on the road.

Jesus isn’t even taking the wheel on this one.

It’s a fucking disaster.

I do not want to describe in every little detail the intricacies of dreaming about James Buchanan Barnes fucking my brains out, so I won’t, but this is for the record that it happened and how the fuck am I supposed to come back and see him in his probably gorgeous attempt at his recreation of Brendan Fraser from the Mummy AKA my favourite movie (which HE KNOWS THAT IT IS?? GOD, the audacity.)

Girlfriend (his girlfriend. “Girlfriend” is the name which she shall be henceforth known as in these entries because petty wins are all I have right now) is dressing as Rachel Weisz. Because “couples goals” or whatever.

I wouldn’t know. Sam and I are dressed up as sexy salt and pepper shakers (his idea, not mine) and he made me take the salt stick because I think he knows. Steve’s not dressing up because he’s more focused on handing out candy as Captain America.

Tony is… Tony. Iron Man and all that.

Anyway, I’m out of town in DC for a meeting with the Secretary of State for a few days, but I’ll be back in New York on the 30th so I’ll have a few hours to adjust to being around James again before he dons on that outfit that I know will be totally hot.

He called me his best friend again in his latest email.

Made me smile like an idiot, but I digress.

.

Nov. 1/20

Dear Jane,

Halloween was killer. Sam and I won best duo for costumes because we’re that good. Ate a lot of candy and it seems to be looking up.

I dunno. I didn’t mind James and Girlfriend on the couch that much in the after-party. Mostly stuck by Nat and Sharon and Tony. An ood trio, but a fun one nonetheless.

It was fun, but I still have to go to work no matter how many jello shots and vodka gummy bears consumed.

Wish me luck, not that I need it.

Why do you think Tony hired me?

.

Nov. 4/20

Dear Jane.

Natasha said I smile at James in a way that utterly betrays every emotion I want to hide in my chest.

Note to self: Don’t smile at James, or at his jokes, or at anything he ever does again. Avoid him. Put a stopper on this friendship.

Note to note to self: I can’t. He just makes me smile whenever he’s around and he’s always around. There’s no simpler way to put it.

I’m gonna try this hiatus thing, though. Distance myself a bit. We’ll see how it goes.

.

Nov. 13/20

Dear Jane,

Day nine of this hiatus business and it sucks. I miss my best friend.

We’re scheduled for a mission together, and we’re leaving tomorrow so I was going to have to talk to him during the briefing and the op either way.

Well, glad to know this didn’t work.

.

Nov. 15/20

Dear Jane,

Guess who just got fucking shot!

ME!

Guess even scumbags can’t take a holiday because some stupid arms dealer got a cheap shot on me while I was downloading their whole computer system and other tech mumbo-jumbo I am too high to write about.

James left a few hours ago with the rest of the team, but not before he got me a bunch of ice chips and said he was worried and that he hopes I get better soon. He even promised to get me some flowers to spruce up the room and to say my HEART went CRAZY is an understatement.

He came to my rescue, essentially, as soon as he heard I got pinned. He carried me to the quinjet the instant he cleared the area and stayed by my side the whole time even though the bleeding stopped and I was in good hands. He was just so protective, barking at doctors and nurses. It was embarrassing but also really, really sweet.

Is it weird of me to say that I want him to stay by my side forever? 

I’ve never fallen in love before.

Is it always this fast and this hard? I feel like I’m crashing instead of gently and wonderfully falling. Everything is dumb and awful.

Is this what love is like? Because it hurts worse than getting shot because I think I’m going to vomit flowers or butterflies or something.

God, he’d never love me. We’re just friends and even though we have a lot in common, he’d never. It’s just too much of the past in the present or whatever.

Also, he has a girlfriend but it seems very surface-level. God, that makes me sound like a “one of the boys” type of girl who’s a bitch to one of the boy’s new girlfriends, but I don’t know. James told me they don’t really talk about the deep stuff like we do. But she makes him happy, I think.

In hindsight, one may ask what the deep stuff is.

More on that later. I’m tired.

God, why him?

I HATE THIS.

goodnight.

.

Nov. 16/20

Dear Jane,

James visited again today. He sat beside me and we talked until the nurses had to kick him out. He also brought the flowers.

I asked about Girlfriend casually. I said I liked her.

He said he did, too.

I don’t know why I think he’s lying. No, I do.

It’s because jealousy is the green-eyed bitch from highschool who still shows up in my life because she thinks she’s relevant to society.

That was mean. Unrequited love makes you mean. Side effect noted.

P.S. The deep stuff includes his past, his arm, his memory, his favourite colour. I dunno why that matters. It just does.

.

Nov. 17/20

Dear Jane,

Got out of the hospital today because of advanced technology and all that. Nothing’s left but a scar and residual soreness. James helped me to my room and said to call him if I had a problem.

I joked that he has a girlfriend and for some reason, he got really weird about it. It’s hard to describe. I dunno. Nat dropped by for popcorn and movies.

It’s 2:32AM. I’m wondering if he’s in the kitchen but I’m confined to bed rest so I don’t know. Also, Nat is asleep beside me and I don’t want to bother her.

Hopefully I can get up and move in a few days. Life is boring.

.

Nov. 24/20

Dear Jane,

Sorry we haven’t caught up in a moment. Work’s been hectic and I’ve been working overtime trying to make ends meet. Most days I’m in the office or lab, just trying to get enough things done so I can take time off come Christmas.

James stopped by tonight with Chinese takeout and some sweet buns.

He broke up with his girlfriend, too.

Guess that’s why he was being weird about it.

I tried being as casual as I could asking why, but he didn’t want to talk about it, so I asked why he came by. Couldn’t be for the company because when I’m in work mode, I just don’t talk and he knows that.

He said something about his arm feeling funny so I gave it a quick diagnostics check.

I think both of us knew his arm was feeling fine.

Everything is stupid, life is meaningless, and James’ lips are the prettiest shade of pink in the ugly lights of the lab.

I would very much like to have kissed him, but I didn’t.

Girl code.

It’ll probably be a while before I get another chance to actually have time and energy to write another diary entry. Christmas season’s coming close and Pepper is gonna need help with the party.

Yay, me.

.

Dec. 4/20

Dear Jane,

Morgan asked me in less eloquent words if I had a boyfriend (it was more like “You boyfriend?” But whatever. Who even taught her that word?) and I swear to GOD Nat could not make it anymore obvious looking at James.

Remind me to absolutely throttle her. I don’t care if she’s the infamous Black Widow. She has clearly never seen me hopped up on nothing but a negative amount of sleep and rage/embarrassment/spite/all of the above.

On another note, Pep asked if I was bringing a plus one for the party. I said I’d think about it. Normally I’d just take Sam but he has his eyes on someone at the VA and I like my friends getting laid so no go there.

Might just go alone. I don’t know.

Pep said I should take James, but I don’t really think she knows the truth about that situation. Luckily, Tony instantly rejected the idea and said he’d find me a date if I couldn’t.

Thank the universe for at least placing me in the close circle of the most well-known and richest man in the world because he also gave me his card and said go wild.

He knows me so well. I’m thinking about Christmas shopping when I have another free day, and I’ll pay for that with my own money, of course, but clothes shopping is a free market.

I cannot wait.

.

Dec. 12/20

Dear Jane,

I wish I could show you my haul, but I got so much stuff Happy had to drive to help me. Besides obvious gifts, I also managed to snag a gorgeous dress for the party.

Thoughts on black and gold?

I think it’s beautiful. Hopefully Nat and Sharon think so. We’re having a girls night tonight and showing off outfits, so that’s exciting.

James asked if we could meet up tonight.

I told him I had plans and he looked so downcast.

I dunno. Everything feels weird between us. Like we’re fine, we’re best friends still, but something’s changed when no one was looking. He’s single now. I guess that energy is different because I had gotten used to his energy with ex-Girlfriend.

I don’t exactly mind but it’s not ideal either. I miss summer. It’s much less complicated than winter. Winter, one has to worry about wind and chills and snows blocking roads, black ice, dry skin, freezing fingers.

Summer: there’s just a lot of sun, wind, bugs, and the vaguest notion of being bored.

Look, I love winter. It’s my favourite season. It’s quiet and gorgeous and dreamy, even though it gets dreary in New York. The snow falls slowly sometimes, Christmas is gorgeous here, and I’d rather be cold than sweating buckets, and there are no bugs to bother me. Also, it gives me a good reason to stay in the labs or in my room where it’s warm and toasty.

I just miss the relative simplicity when James and I were just strangers on the edge of being friends, which is, in retrospect, a selfish reason to like one season and hate another.

Well, some philosopher somewhere probably said something about humanity being selfish.

.

Dec. 16/20

Dear Jane,

T-minus nine days until the party.

No date in sight.

Maybe I’ll ask Anderson from HR. We had coffee together a few times and he’s nice. Good catch: smart, not too bad looking, and really nice. I’ll head down tomorrow and ask.

Alpine had purred when I told him my plan and headbutted my hand, so I guess I got the Alpine-Seal-of-Approval.

.

Dec. 17/20

Dear Jane,

Operation: Ask Anderson from HR to Tony’s Christmas Party failed. Granted, it could’ve been because that was a god awful title and that that name, in itself, prophesied catastrophic failure, but also because I was accosted by my best friend.

I wish I meant Sam.

Nope. James caught me in the elevator and we made small talk. Sounds fine, right? Then we turned the topic to the party. Talked about clothes and prospective celebrity appearances and drinks and food. Just about everything, so might as well turn to talks about dates, which meant I had to explain why I was in the elevator in the first place.

Going down to ask Anderson ended in James revealing that he didn’t have a date either.

He doesn’t know who Anderson is, which I thought would be the case, and he popped the question before the doors opened.

Notice how I said “didn't” have a date.

Guess who’s going to the party with James, clearly stated as friends, platonic soulmates, etc.?

Me.

Yippee.

.

Dec. 18/20

Dear Jane,

It’s 3:42AM and I’m in the rec room as usual. I was gonna not write here today but it normally helps me sleep to just write a bit, get what little thoughts are in my head out. Yeah.

I hear James in the kitchen talking to Alpine and it’s making me smile like an idiot.

Oh, shit, he knows I’m in here. He’s making milkshakes.

I am morally obligated by best friend duties to join him.

Goodnight, Jane.

.

Dec. 24/20

Dear Jane,

I’m not sleeping with James Buchanan Barnes tomorrow night.

This is a resolute promise. An early New Year’s resolution.

.

Dec. 25/20

Dear Jane,

Merry Christmas! 

In between jovial festivities, I’ve finally found a little nook that’s quiet enough to write in. We opened presents, had a big family breakfast, went skating and just lounged around, and frankly, I’m exhausted. Need to recharge the old social battery.

Among the assortment of gifts is one that stands out to me. James got me a gift that said “Open When Alone�� and I did before I started this entry and it was a fucking necklace. Like, a gorgeous one. It’s gold and thin and it feels wonderful. There’s a little cat paw charm on it and it’s so pretty because he has a matching bracelet for himself and I have still not yet recovered.

It’s just so sweet and it reminds me why I love him.

Yes, love has made me unbelievably sappy. I just heaved the biggest sigh in history.

Unfortunately, I have to go earlier tonight. To the party, as written in previous entries. I remember my oath of one-night celibacy and I intend on keeping it, despite how fucking endearing this gift was, because he said it best: we’re just friends. I’m not about to coerce my best friend into sleeping with me out of a piteous, unrequited love. That’s just gross.

You will either see me hungover tomorrow, or very drunk later tonight. It’s all very depending on how this night turns out.

.

Dec. 26/20

Dear Jane,

Fuck.

P.S. He REALLY does not mind me calling him James. Take that as dirtily or as clandestinely as you wish.

.

Dec. 27/20

Dear Jane,

I spent the entire day in bed with very pleasurable company.

I am SO GLAD we haven’t gotten called in because James doesn’t leave unless to go to sleep in his own bed or to eat, and I do NOT want to explain to the team that James fucked my brains out for two days straight because my heart is bursting.

He’s a good kisser. His lips are soft.

Intimate knowledge of that is now burned into my memory for future reference.

God, this is a dream come true. He doesn’t even question it, he just

It’s like I’m a goddess to him. He treats me like one, at least, and it’s like he’ll do anything I ask. And we act like it’s normal, too. Midnight trips to the kitchen included.

Best Christmas ever.

.

Dec. 28/20

Dear Jane,

I feel like I’m ignoring you but I’m also having the best sex of my life. He’s just… so fucking good and it’s a holiday and holy shit my mind is blown.

Love at first meeting isn’t real.

Well, maybe this one time, it was destiny.

.

Dec. 29/20

Dear Jane,

It isn’t just the sex, you know? It’s the pillowtalk, too. He just makes me laugh so much and everything is so easy between us and it feels real. Popcorn and chips in bed, some mojitos, just each other’s presence. It’s enough like that, you know?

Some quote about how the one you love should be both your lover and your best friend is in my head but I’m too lazy to look it up. James’ head is in my lap and he’s just reading while I’m writing and everything seems perfect.

He doesn’t ask what I’m writing because he knows it’s private and I trust him.

This is perfect.

I think I really am IN love with him.

.

Jan. 1/21

You know that cliché/tradition of New Year’s kisses?

WELL THEN.

Best (and worst) New Year’s ever. I’ll explain more later. I’m too tired and too angry and also sore and bruised.

See you when I’m not hungover.

.

Jan. 5/21

Dear Jane,

I’m finally stable enough to write.

In a crazy turn of events, Barnes and I got into a fight because of what happened after New Year’s Day’s events: I caught him leaving before I woke up and at first, curious questions ensued, and it wasn’t a fight but then it became one and I don’t even know how it happened. I wasn’t even mad. He just started being weird and I got annoyed and we tried and failed to keep our voices down. Luckily, my room is pretty soundproof.

Things just got out of hand and I feel like tearing my hair out. I wanna storm up to him and just yell some more.

Tony came into my room and didn’t say shit about my hickies and the fact that James is avoiding me like the plague. He gave me a really good hug, though and then gave me a few weeks off extra. I don’t know how he knows, but then again, it’s Tony.

He just said love’s tough sometimes.

Yeah, tell me about it.

I’m thinking about just taking a long vacation and disappearing. It seems like a good route to take at this point.

.

Jan. 6/21

Dear Jane,

James is looking at me right now as I write this. I wonder if I should look back or if he’s going to come up to me. We’ll see.

I’m only writing this so it seems like I’m busy. I’m running out of things to say, honestly. Can he just go? What’s the point in staring like that? What’s the point?

I could ask myself the same question. What’s the point in loving someone who’ll never love you? Yeah, he’s sleeping with me but he pulls away every time I try to do something more. Outside the bubble of my room and the small time frame of post-11PM to around 4:45AM, he acts like he’s allergic to intimacy.

It was never like that with ex-Girlfriend.

Maybe it’s something to do with me.

I don’t know, but he keeps looking and I want to get up and leave, but I won’t. I’m not gonna let him win.

.

Jan. 6/21

He didn’t. He just went out. Sam and Steve asked if I was okay because as soon as he left, I got up for the bathroom and screamed into a towel.

I don’t think either of them knows what’s going on, but they have a notion.

.

Jan. 9/21

Dear Jane,

He apologized. Still no explanation as to why, but it feels weird.

I told him I’m going on a vacation to Switzerland. Go skiing or something and asked if he wanted to come.

It was stupid to ask, but he said yes.

Shit.

.

Jan. 14/21

Dear Jane,

Switzerland is lovely.

No work is relaxing. Awkwardness between me and the other traveller on this vacation. Weather’s supposed to be nice when we get there. Sunny snow days, pretty mountains, other Swiss things.

No other comment.

.

Jan. 21/21

Dear Jane,

I lasted all of a week.

Yep, I slept with him again, and yes, he was back in his hotel bed come sunrise.

I dunno. I’m over it. We don’t apologize and hope everything gets back to normal because neither of us want to say anything to ruin it any further and we both have a major fear of the complicated. To be fair, he said he didn’t want to sleep with me if I was completely against it.

Also, I tried calling him Bucky at dinner like ex-Girlfriend (and everyone else) does and he made the most disgusted face.

He said, and I quote, “Bucky? When did I stop being James?”

I told him I was trying something out and he said it failed. Snarky bastard.

I guess if he’s still James, that must mean I’m still special.

That’s the Tony-inherited ego talking.

But it does make me exceptionally happy to play with the idea that I’m special to him. Best friend with convoluted benefits. Sounds like the title of a very long-winded self-help book that doesn’t really help much but that does sound like the story of my life so I can’t complain too much.

We’re going home in a few days.

I’ll probably sleep with him again. Bet Steve’s shield that I do.

.

Jan. 24/21

Dear Jane,

I get three Steve’s shields because I was right every single fucking day.

He’s like a habit I can’t quite kick and don’t really want to.

We snuggled afterwards last night. His arm was around my shoulders, we were naked, I was resting my head on his chest. For a moment, it felt like something couples do and then I fell asleep and woke up alone.

Quantum physics is easier to understand than this but I think we’re being mutually exclusive right now, so it’s almost dating.

I dunno. I don’t mind it anymore. It’s better than nothing.

.

Feb. 2/21

Dear Jane,

I’m absolutely miserable.

I’m still getting laid, but that’s not related. Correlation and causation or something.

Why is New York so dreary and when can everything just stop?

I don’t know. Winter is ending and now it’s in that awful transition phase between seasons and it’s mucky and rainy and disgusting. Tony got these limited edition ice cream flavours though so I’m gonna ask James if we can make milkshakes out of them or something.

He doesn’t like the muck either. That’s not really relevant, I guess.

.

Feb. 14/21

Dear Jane,

I got flowers and chocolate from the department because I think they can sense I’ve been in a bad mood since forever. Then, there was an anonymous delivery and inside was this gorgeous chain bracelet that matches the necklace sort of. I lied and told the department it was from Pepper.

What a wretched holiday.

Yours truly.

.

Feb. 18/21

Dear Jane,

Normally, when boys get their haircut, they look ugly for a day or two after.

Not James.

He got his hair cut shorter and he looks really good. Like unbelievably good. Short hair fits him just as much as long hair does.

No other observations.

.

Feb. 25/21

Dear Jane,

It was Morgan’s birthday party today. James came in one of those brown jackets with the sheepskin wool inside and he looked so good. We mainly stayed apart to prevent any dalliance because one does not disappear from the Madame Secretary’s birthday party and the team doesn’t really know what’s happening behind the scenes except for Nat and Tony, really.

I really wanted to kiss him in front of our friends. I caught him staring a few times, and every time, the smile seemed to vanish off his face.

I’m lying in bed and it feels pretty empty.

It occurs to me that I’ve been in love for a pretty long time and I’m not even in a relationship with the guy.

Energy could’ve been devoted to so many other things and I’d hate being in love if it weren’t for the fact that it’s James.

Again, love making me sappy and all that.

.

Feb. 28/21

Dear Jane,

Jane is such a common name. Some would call it plain yet it means gift from God.

I wonder if James knew that.

.

Mar. 10/21

Dear Jane,

It’s James’ birthday. Birthday sex is a requirement and a desire. I also got him a gift which is a pair of new black Timbs. I hope he likes them. I’m excited for cake, I guess. Morgan did my makeup but I’m gonna have to wipe it off for the small little party tonight.

I think, ordinarily, I’d be in knots because it’s James’ birthday and I love him and he’s my best friend, but I just don’t know. March is fairly boring and contemplative and rainy. Work is work. Helen Cho did a presentation on her Cradle technology. Very cool.

.

Mar. 20/21

Dear Jane,

It’s raining and doesn’t feel like spring. Alpine vomited on my bed a few days ago because he’s not feeling well. James and I took him to the vet and he’s on antibiotics. Poor boy. He’s sleeping in the corner of my room right now while James is away on a mission. I think I’ll just work from my room for a bit until he’s feeling better.

Nothing much to report, which is why I didn’t write anything. The month passed by too quickly. James should be back by the end of the month. I miss him and not because of the sex. No one else who doesn’t work for me or pays me listens to me ramble on their own free will. Talking to screens just isn’t the same.

.

April 1/21

James got back really early this morning and I, by tradition, was awake. I sort of wish I wasn’t though. In true April Fool’s tradition, I made fun of him for being a day late to which he genuinely apologized. I told him to shower and get to sleep but he was in that mood where you’re so exhausted you’re wide awake.

James suggested we make really strong cocktails for each other as a celebration for an extraction mission completed successfully.

Who am I to say no to celebrating?

He really likes grapefruit juice so I made a REALLY strong Grapefruit Paloma. He made this really interesting drink that was purple and tasted like oranges and cranberries. A lot of blue curacao was in it so it was pretty bitter but it hit like a fucking truck which is probably why I didn’t understand anything he said at first.

He told me he loved me.

I think, somehow, he managed to get drunk after the Grapefruit Paloma and two more bottles of vodka. Don’t ask me how because Steve NEVER gets drunk. Maybe HYDRA-brand serum is faulty? I don’t know.

I asked if he knew what date it was. He laughed really loudly, said no, realized, stuttered apologies and then said it again.

It was the most perfect sound in the world and it was the best moment in recent history.

Or, the sickest practical joke.

Consensus not yet reached.

.

April 2/21

Dear Jane,

I asked if he remembered what happened yesterday morning.

He did not.

Sickest practical joke confirmed.

.

April 9/21

Dear Jane,

I’ve been avoiding writing because I’ve felt a whole lot of nothing. Everything is abysmal and James’ confession is all I can think about. Tony’s on my ass about slipping and he has half the mind to put me on paid leave until I get my shit together, both as the head of the department and as an agent.

Drunk words are sober thoughts, all that garbage.

I wish I could live my whole life drunk and honest. Maybe then I wouldn’t be in this situation where I’m stuck in eternal limbo with my best friend whom I’m in love with. Minus the drunk part.

Duty demands I return to this weathered journal until it’s finished so we’ll see. I might be back this month. Maybe not.

.

May 1/21

Dear Jane,

It rained a lot in April so now the flowers are blooming early. April showers bring May flowers. Guess it has some merit to it.

Limbo sucks. Its inescapable nature, its terrible facade of everything seeming fine when it really isn’t.

Of course, James still makes me smile, but nothing seems really okay when I let myself stop for a second.

I’m going out with Steve to a charity thing tomorrow. Should be a few hours worth of not thinking and free booze. Oh, and James and I made out in one of the quinjets after dinner today.

Felt weird considering we aren’t a couple, but it happened spontaneously as that is the nature of our relationship, it appears.

The cause also happens to be the cure of melancholy. Weird.

.

May 6/21

Dear Jane,

For context, it’s 5:23AM.

Went for a walk in Madison Square and then Central Park with James yesterday, although in my head it’s still today. We met up with Nat for some training at the gym. Got a bit mobbed by fans and the paps who asked if we were dating like we’re the tabloid’s biggest scoop.

We weren’t even holding hands, but I guess it’s just another reason why we shouldn’t be TOGETHER together in public.

We had another deep stuff talk again in bed after the usual business. I wanted to ask what this is between us and if he’s pursuing other options, because I’m not and I wanted to know if I should, but I also didn’t want to ruin the vibe.

He was in a good mood today, and seeing as sometimes he has nightmares, I thought it was best I don’t ruin it. He thinks I don’t notice but how do I not notice? He’s my best friend.

I kissed his cheek when he got up to leave and he kissed me goodbye on the lips.

I guess that means something.

.

May 17/21

Dear Jane,

In a moment of complete boredom, I listened to Imagine Dragons’ new album. It wasn’t too bad, to be honest, but Sharon thought it could’ve been better. Whatever.

.

May 22/21

Dear Jane,

Ran into ex-Girlfriend today. She still has that whole sunshine thing going on still. We had coffee and she asked if I got together with James yet.

I choked on my coffee and nearly died on the spot.

That’s how I learned that James apparently broke it off softly and ex-Girlfriend had, very wisely and knowingly, said that he should chase the apple of his eye before I (the apple) rotted alone and forgotten at the trunk of the tree. Or, as any sane person would say (and ex-Girlfriend DID say), get picked from the tree by another hand.

She said it was quite obvious that I was in love with James even months ago. She also thanked me for being so nice, anyway, and that it must’ve been difficult. What a fucking SAINT.

I set her up with a date with Steve because they have the same energy, honestly, and that’s going down on the 26th barring any emergencies.

Call me Cupid, but I think I just constructed the perfect match made in heaven.

Mentioned this meeting to James minus the apple detail. He asked if she was doing okay, which she was, and seemed glad for that. Between kisses and his sneaking hand beneath the covers, he also asked if there was anything else. Not really much to say on that front.

.

June 3/21

Dear Jane,

It’s starting to dry up consistently, now. It’s getting warmer, too. Sam brought me flowers and told me to at least turn the air-con on if I was gonna be stuck in the lab all day. Oh, the simplicities of summer are hopefully returning. Got out early and hung out with Morgan at the park in the evening.

It’s nice to hang out with someone so blissfully unaware with the stupidity of love. All Morgan cares about is grass and buttercups she grabs from the ground. She doesn’t have to worry about how to tell the guy she’s in love with that she loves him.

Oh, didn’t you hear? Nat said I should just buck the fuck up and tell him.

And Nat is scary when not listened to.

Much to brainstorm about.

.

June 14/21

Dear Jane,

Just here to brainstorm some ideas for future Stark Industries projects and thought I’d preface it with a small diary entry. Nothing really happened. Work’s catching up for some reason and bad guys are acting up. I’ve pulled a few all nighters, not gonna lie.

Really tired, but in a good, productive way. Haven’t thought much on the James front. Gonna have to focus on that after everything calms down.

.

June 20/21

Dear Jane,

It’s officially summer and yet today was awful with only subtle hints of being okay.

So much for simplicity.

In the evening, I read on the hammock on the balcony. No one really bothered me except James, but he’s never a bother.

Steve and ex-Girlfriend (who will now be reidentified as Girlfriend) are pretty cute, and she meshes well with the group. There’s nothing really awkward between her, James, or me, so I guess two people’s summers are going well. Bully for them.

Didn’t really eat. Was too busy working. James got me dinner. Didn’t feel right and just kept working. This whole agreement between us has been very flexible but we really need to fit in a session soon.

I’ll make it work somehow.

.

June 22/21

Dear Jane,

I got my wish and didn’t at the same time. We spent the whole day in the sheets (very blissfully relaxing) and I, stupidly and with very little sleep, let it slip.

In less elegant terms, I told him I loved him. It felt very real and genuine and very-out-of-a-movie, but his reaction was less so.

What did I say? Allergic to intimacy.

He tried to play it off as best friends and even that was uncomfortable, but I, very seriously and very foolishly, corrected him that “no, James Buchanan Barnes, I am IN LOVE with you.”

He left a few minutes ago, saying something about heading down to the gym, but I know he’s just trying to avoid me.

God, how am I so stupid?

.

June 25/21

Dear Jane,

I haven’t seen James in a few days. I thought he was avoiding me but turns out he’s out of the country. Something about protection for whatever dignitary is travelling at the end of the month. I don’t know.

I wasn’t assigned to that op so the details weren’t shared liberally. Sam just said it’d be a while during the ambassador’s entire stay. High threat level which is why the Avengers were contracted.

I just hope he stays safe. I know he probably took off to take his mind off things, but I don’t know how he’s focusing when all I can think of is those three little words.

I love you.

Seems so fake the more I hear it in my head, but his reaction was so real that I think I might’ve just irreversibly messed things up.

.

July 12/21

Dear Jane,

It’s been a hectic couple of weeks. If future me finds this with blotted words, it’s because I am indeed crying while writing this.

James was medically evac’ed last night and transferred back to New York. Helen Cho was flown in from her medical conference in Minnesota where she was showcasing the newest version of the Cradle.

There was an assasination attempt and James is fucked up bad.

Holy shit, I’m so scared. I’ve never been so scared in my life. It’s like an invisible demon has my heart in his claw-like hands and he’s squeezing with all his might. I think my heart might explode.

I just want to hold his hand but he’s so high risk no one’s allowed to see him right now.

The waiting room is too quiet. Steve’s holding on to Girlfriend’s hand so hard I think her bones are broken but she’s taking it like a champ. Nat’s pacing, slowly patting a sleeping Morgan who she’s carrying. Sam and Tony are talking about stuff.

It’s too quiet.

I’m so scared.

.

July 13/21

They got him into the Cradle. Thank God. I think I might cry some more out of relief, but he was conscious for a few minutes earlier and he’s stable now.

It’s really late at night but they extended privileges to me to stay with him so I’m just sitting here, writing. Listening to the Cradle do its thing and the monitors do theirs.

When he was conscious, I was with him. He said some stuff under his breath but the one thing I could make out was “I’m an idiot.”

Granted, he’s right. It was supposed to be Steve or Tony on that mission. You know, people with more defense op experience, but he had to go out and volunteer himself.

I feel sort of guilty.

It’s partially my fault, isn’t it?

I think I’ll try to tuck in for tonight. I wanna be awake when he wakes up, too.

.

July 14/21

Dear Jane,

James woke up today. He’s still in the Cradle (lots of internal damage spread throughout the body) but he’s conscious. He saw me and immediately tried to sit up which was sweet, but when he couldn’t, he just told me to come closer and then told me that he loved me.

I called him an idiot for running away. I told him he really scared me. I told him that I loved him so fucking much. I told him that I feel so guilty and he just held my face and said that it will never be my fault.

He’s so fucking romantic, even when he’s lying down with a wound being stitched closed live in front of my eyes.

Oh, and he kissed me. I don’t think I noticed how much I actually missed him until that moment.

I don’t know how to describe the feeling in my chest. It’s a mixture between super happy and super scared and super, super warm inside. Summer might be looking up.

.

July 18/21

Dear Jane,

We got home today. James is staying in my room. The team doesn’t say anything about it. We’re best friends, after all, but I think they’ve known for a long time that there’s something more. Some of them are just too polite to say so.

I won’t have much time to write over the next couple of days. James has to be kept on a strict, extremely healthy diet and medicine regime.

I don’t care. I’m just glad he’s home.

He’s kissing me a lot more, now. Alpine likes the fact that his two humans are now in the same room. He purrs so loudly, I can hear him from where he’s dozing, curled up underneath James’ chin. He (James) is resting after his second round of antibiotics for the day while I work from my room, and sometimes I catch myself looking back just to make sure he’s okay.

I’m going to go kiss him now.

Be right back.

.

July 21/21

Dear Jane,

It’s almost Nat’s birthday (the 26th). Super exciting. James is back on solids and I’m helping him around with walking. Even with the Cradle and the healing factor, he’s still super banged up, so it’s better safe than sorry.

We had a really long talk about love and stuff. It’s good to finally have it out in the open. It was mostly me talking about my side of things and he just nodded a lot. I know he was listening though.

We also kissed a lot, like seventeen year old couples who are heavy on the PDA, but within the privacy of my room. I dunno. I like the heat of his arms and the way he kisses the shell of my ear when he’s bored or it’s a commercial break.

It feels very natural.

I am very much in love with him.

I tell him that and he always looks skeptical, but whatever. He doesn’t have to say it back (I tell him that there’s no pressure) and he’ll get it through his thick skull eventually that he’s now stuck with me.

.

July 25/21

Dear Jane,

We made cookies in the early AM as tradition for the party tomorrow and I told him that I love him (again, but this time he didn’t run, nor has he the past few times. Fantastic).

While the cookies were baking, he explained everything on his side of the story: how he was scared to be vulnerable, how opening up to me is just different and new and scary and I get it. I really do. I know how it feels to think you don’t deserve good things and sabotage feels like the only way to save everyone from hurt.

He smiled a lot more after that. I guess he’s just glad I get it.

One day, I’ll successfully convince James that he deserves everything good this world has to offer.

Until then, I’ll just keep trying.

P.S. He said, with less hesitation than the first time, that he loves me, too. Best. Day. Ever.

P.P.S. The cookies are so good and I want to devour them all. I could barely stop James from eating all of them. Again: Best. Day. Ever.

.

July 26/21

Dear Jane,

In summary of today:

Happy birthday, Natasha.

James has been given the clear bill of health which is exciting. Also, I asked him about the Jane and gift of God thing.

He knew. “Intuition” and all that. He also said I looked “like a royal dame” in my swimsuit. Smug idiot just trying to be charming.

I love him and that’s the only reason it works.

Back to the festivities.

.

July 27/21

Dear Jane,

Good morning to you and to James who’s still in my bed at a ripe 6:23AM, fast asleep.

Progress. Now, back to sleep.

.

July 27/21

Dear Jane,

It’s now 9:49AM and James greeted me with orange juice and waffles. He said I was cute when I slept. Creep.

He also said he tried so many times to stay in my bed after, before we were like we are now, but he never could, and now he’s upset that he missed out on my cute sleeping/waking up for the day face every time he did so.

He is exceptionally cute when he’s pouting.

I think we’re officially boyfriend-girlfriend, but we’ll work out the semantics on that later. For now, it’s another summer day together. He suggested Chinese takeout for dinner because I have to go dip back into the lab later today to check on some samples.

I agreed and he kissed me in promise like it was our “thing.” I can’t stop smiling like an idiot.

Massive progress.

.

July 28/21

Dear Jane,

He told me I was the only one for him.

Also, he kissed me in front of our friends for the first time. Natasha yelled “FINALLY” and pushed us into the pool. Sam laughed and then I grabbed him and threw him into the pool. Ensuing: a water fight for the ages.

For a day: 10/10

.

July 31/21

Hey Jane,

I think I’m happy.

I’m sorry I ever doubted the effects of writing down my feelings.

James has a romantic trip to uptown planned for our first date and he said it’ll take the whole day so I thought I’d get this entry in the morning. I dunno. It’s really early and the happy thought was the first thing that came to my head.

Weird, but it’s a good weird.

See you in a bit.

[dontcare77ghj]

Leisure Sickness

Natasha x reader x Tony x Steve

Leisure sickness is defined as a psychological condition in which people, read workaholics, can become ill when given time off.

Leisure sickness's symptoms can include headaches, nausea, insomnia, and vomiting.

These symptoms quickly became synonymous with Steve, Natasha, Y/N, and Tony whenever they went on vacation.

The four of you had decided that you'd had enough with the media and the general public for this season. It seemed as if everyone had an opinion on the team, and you were all sick of it.

So Steve had pitched the idea of the four of you going on vacation for a couple of weeks. 

It had been a lot of back and forth before the four of you came to a decision that you were all happy with. 

The four of you would take three weeks off from the world unless it was about to end and stay at a house on Tony's private island.

"This place is massive. I'm pretty sure I've been lost for the last hour." You said, entering the kitchen where Natasha and Steve were putting groceries away. 

"You've been gone ten minutes, doll." Steve chuckled, stocking the fridge full of drinks.

"Are you sure? Because I'm pretty sure it's been an hour." You commented, taking a seat on the counter. "Are we sure time doesn't work differently here?"

"How much coffee have you had?" Natasha asked, quirking an eyebrow. 

"I had two cups on the plane." You told her honestly. 

"You mean the cups that were basically soup bowls?" Steve clarified.

"I drank whatever was served to me." You shrugged. 

"We're going to talk about that later," Natasha said, pointing a finger at you. "But first, can you find Tony? We haven't seen him since we got here."

"Sure. I've explored a lot of this place. I should be able to find him." You shrugged, jumping off the counter.

"Alright, we'll see you in an hour," Steve said, receiving the middle finger from you. 

To be fair, Steve might have been pretty spot on. To explore just the ground floor took you about twenty minutes, and there were still two floors, both with dozens of rooms each, to search. 

"What's behind door number nineteen?" You mumbled, pulling open your nineteenth door, you'd been counting, to reveal another bathroom. 

Except this one held your Tony. A Tony who wasn't looking so good.

"Tones?" You asked quietly, moving to kneel beside the empty bathtub Tony was occupying. "What's wrong, hon?" 

"Just a bit of a headache," Tony mumbled. 

"And you're in the bathtub because?"

"It's nice and cool," Tony told you, keeping his eyes closed.

"Okay, how about you stay here, and I'll get you something for your head?" You suggested, gently brushing hair off his forehead.

"Thank you," Tony mumbled, leaning his head back once more.

"Couldn't you find him?" Steve asked when you reentered the kitchen.

"No, I found him." You told him, beginning to look through the cupboards. "Hauled up in a bathtub with a raging headache. Did we pack any Tylenol?"

"Here," Natasha said, throwing it to you. "I thought he looked a little pale on the plane." She commented.

"He was fine before we got on the plane, though," Steve mentioned. "You think it's an extreme form of jetlag?"

"Could be. It could also be the fact that Tony's not looked after himself at all the past week." You said. "He's been working himself to the bone. His body probably doesn't understand what's going on."

"So we should expect him to feel worse." Natasha deduced. "I'll make something to settle his stomach." She nodded to herself.

"And I'll deliver this." You said, shaking the pills. 

"I'll come with you. I imagine the bathtub's not that comfortable, and Tony might not want to walk to the bedroom." Steve said, moving to follow you. 

"Has death finally come for me?" Tony asked when the two of you made your way back to him.

"Not yet, Tones." You told him, kneeling in the same place as before.

"And not for a long time," Steve added, bending beside you.

"Ugh, I really thought it was him that time." Tony sighed before cracking his eyes open. "Did you bring the good stuff?"

"I did." You nodded, dosing out two of the tablets and handing them to him. "Give me a second, and I'll get you some water." You said, rising to stand, but Tony took the two dry. "That's disgusting."

"Water's for bitches." Tony grunted before closing his eyes again. 

"Come on, Tony, let's get you to bed," Steve said to him. 

"Too much work." Tony denied before Steve picked him up. "Woah! Give a man a little warning." Tony grumbled as Steve chuckled quietly. 

"Asking's for bitches." You teased, walking in front of the two and opening doors.

"Get some rest, Tony," Steve said, putting onto the bed and pulling the covers over him.

"I'll shut my eyes for a few minutes, and I'll be fine," Tony mumbled, rolling over onto his side.

It didn't even take Tony another minute before he was fast asleep.

The next time the four of you decided to go on vacation, you'd decided to go a bit more touristy. 

The four of you were in London for two weeks and would be spending your days visiting every popular tourist attraction. It was your second day in London, the first dedicated to sleeping off the jetlag, and you would soon be leaving the house.

At least you would be if you could settle your stomach.

Your stomach had been churning all night, and no matter what, you couldn't stop it. You'd managed to crawl into the bathroom and not wake anyone, but now you were stuck on the floor.

"Sweetheart? Y/N?" You could hear your name being called. "Y/N, where are you?" 

The bathroom door opened, but you couldn't lift your head from its position.

"Found her," Natasha called before walking over to you. "You look like shit, med," Natasha said, placing a hand on your back.

"Nice, real nice." You groaned, lifting your head slightly. "Just give me a minute to get up and get dressed, and we can get going." 

"The only place you're going is back to bed," Natasha told you as Steve and Tony entered the bathroom.

"Doll, are you okay?" Steve questioned you.

"I'm fine. I just need help getting up. And maybe getting dressed." You told him.

"Y/N, you are sick," Natasha said firmly.

"Nu-uh, I haven't thrown up yet." You denied.

"You don't look too far off from it, babe," Tony informed you. "How long have you been here?"

"I don't know. It was still dark when I came in." You grunted before dry heaving, but nothing would come up.

"Okay, Steve, would you please get some ginger ale?" Natasha asked, pulling your hair off your face. "Y/N, when was the last time you ate?"

"Not sure."

"Okay, add some saltines to that order too, Steve," Natasha told him.

"Do you honestly not remember the last time you ate?" Tony asked, coming to sit next to Natasha.

"I was working on that paperwork for Nick until the minute we left." You mumbled. "Forgot to eat."

"And that's most likely why you're feeling like crap now." Natasha hummed. "Do you think you'll be okay if we get you back to bed?"

"Just leave me here to perish." You groaned.

"No can do, you're stuck with us," Tony said as he helped Natasha pull you to your feet.

"Sorry I ruined vacation." You whimpered as you were laid in bed.

"You didn't ruin anything, med," Natasha promised, brushing hair from your forehead. "Not at all."

"We still have time before we have to go home." Tony soothed your guilty conscience. "There's plenty of time to do all the touristy bullshit your little heart desires."

"Yay." You moaned, curling into a ball.

It was a long time before the four of you were able to go on another vacation. 

Missions had begun to become back to back and would last weeks, Tony was forced to travel for SI, and Fury seemed to have an unhealthy attachment to long meetings.

It was after Natasha had been on a mission for two months, Tony had been in Japan for one month, and you and Steve had endured countless hours in the hands of Fury that Steve declared you all needed a vacation. 

Steve had literally googled relaxing vacations before deciding upon Brittany, France. 

Though Steve had argued with Fury, for what felt like days, Steve was only able to barter a week off for the four of you.

"Tony, why do you have more bags than me?" You asked as Steve attempted to play Tetris with your luggage.

"I like to have options, dear," Tony said, pulling his sunglasses on. "Never know when one of those parasites are going to spot me."

"Don't call reporters parasites." Steve chided.

"Are we ready to go yet?" Natasha asked, pulling on a jacket despite it being a warm day. "The plane is going to leave soon."

"Just one more bag, and we can get going," Steve told her, picking up a small suitcase.

"Can I once again point out how ridiculous that is? I own the plane. It should wait for me." Tony scoffed, climbing into the car with Natasha right behind him. 

The four of you faced no more problems until halfway through the flight. Natasha had jumped from her seat, startling the three of you from your half-asleep states, and bolted into the plane's bathroom. 

It was seconds before the sounds of retching filled the plane. 

"Tash?" Steve asked as the three of you stood up.

"I'm good." Natasha choked out. "Get away from the door, Steven."

"How'd she know it was only me?" Steve grumbled, walking back over to you and Tony.

"Spy, Steven!"

Natasha stayed in the bathroom for another seven minutes exactly. When she exited, her skin was flushed, she was covered in a thick layer of sweat, and she was shivering violently. 

"FRI give me Nat's temperature," Tony demanded as you rushed to pull Natasha to a chair.

"101.3, boss," FRIDAY informed you all.

"Shit, Nat," Steve swore. "How long have you been running a fever?"

"Not running a fever." Natasha denied, lounging back in the chair and pulling her jacket closer.

"101.3 is a fever, Tash." You said, pulling her jacket off. "We might have to get you to a hospital." 

"How long until we land, FRI?" 

"Three hours, boss." 

"We're going to have to bring her temperature down ourselves," Steve said, grabbing a towel and dumping his iced water on it.

By the time the plane landed, the three of you had successfully managed to bring Natasha's temperature down. 

The four of you emerged from the plane, Natasha cradled in Steve's arms.

"That was probably the most stressful start to a vacation," Tony commented as you all entered a waiting car. "Let's get you to a hospital, hey, Nat?"

The four of you stayed away from vacations for a long time after that incident. Not because you were all slightly traumatized but because life seemed to pick up its pace once more.

It had been a year and a half since Natasha had a raging fever, and now the four of you were on yet another getaway. 

Except for this time, it was for new reasons.

The four of you had had a commitment ceremony just two days ago, the Asgardian equivalent of a polyamorous wedding. 

It had been a long time coming and a lot of planning, but it was worth it. And it had meant everything to you all.

Now the four of you were on your honeymoon in Tony's rebuilt Malibu home. 

"Do you think we'd get in trouble if we moved here?" Natasha asked, pulling her sunglasses down.

"From who? We're all adults. Who would we get in trouble with?" Tony asked her.

"Fury. The government. The news. The world." You listed off. 

"At the end of the day, how much do they really matter?" Tony shrugged, pulling you onto his lap. 

"You would avoid Nick?" Natasha asked, quirking a brow. 

"The pirate doesn't scare me." Tony shook his head as you and Natasha grinned. "Don't tell him I said that." 

Before either of you could respond, the sound of footsteps coming closer caused you all to look up.

Steve was staggering over to the poolside, looking very much worse for wear.

"Jesus, Stevie, how many laps did you do?" Natasha asked as Steve stole her water and gulped it down.

"One." Steve gasped. "I felt like I was going to pass out, so I quit."

"Jesus Christ, sit down, Steve." You ordered, standing and moving over to the blonde. "You are really pale." You tsked, holding his head in your hands. 

"That's the Irish in him." Tony joked, now standing behind you with Natasha at his side. 

"When was the last time you slept?" You asked, running your finger over the prominent dark circles.

"The wedding night." Steve sighed. "I haven't been able to sleep since."

"You're exhausted, Steve." Natasha pointed out. "You can't run on willpower alone."

"I know that, but I physically can't make myself sleep," Steve told her. "I don't know what it is, but I can't."

"Maybe it's because you're trying to force yourself to sleep instead of allowing yourself to." Tony reasoned. 

"Why did you get all philosophical?" Steve asked him. 

"Always have been. Let's get you to bed, Cap." Tony said, helping Steve to his feet. With a bit of maneuvering, the three of you were able to move the bulky super soldier to your large bed and put him under the covers.

"Stay, please," Steve mumbled, already half asleep. 

"Always, Stevie." You said as the three of you crawled in beside your Steve.

Vacations could always be stressful, but it seemed for the four of you it was always amplified. Especially when someone always managed to get sick.

Remember all Taglists are open as are requests. 

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[citydreamgrls]

summer luvin’

fred weasley x fem! reader

words: 6,418

a/n: this is my first fic on tumblr, i’m usually on wattpad (J-myhope) but decided to move onto here for my weasley / harry potter fanfics. hope you enjoy :))) (also sorry it’s so long // i got carried away)

warnings: swearing (?) 

When I had gone home for the summer, I had promised Hermione I would write to her everyday while she was at the burrow with Ron and his family. Which I did do, but what I didn’t realise was that she would be so quick to invite me there herself. It wasn’t even a week until the invites turned into pleads, and then they were more like threats.

Ginny has gone to a camp for the month, I need you here y/n please or I swear I’ll hex all your homework next year I mean it, she had written, making me laugh at the breakfast table. Come to think of it, why was Hermione willingly spending her summer with the Weasleys and Harry?

“Something funny?” my muggle father asked over his morning newspaper, the hand with his coffee in disappearing behind its pages every few seconds.

“Just a friend from school dad,” I played it off, knowing he wouldn’t approve of me mentioning magic in his house. At least not since him and my witch mother divorced.

“I was thinking dad…” I started. He peered over the paper with a disapproving look, knowing those words meant I had a plan of some sorts. “Since you’re busy with work, maybe I could spend the next two weeks at a friends house before I go to mum’s house?”

He stayed silent, the glasses that once sat firm against his face beginning to slip down his nose. I waited in anticipation as he mulled over my offer.

“This friend. I’m guessing they’re like your mother, yes?” He spat.

“Well yes, but they’re responsible. I could get Mrs Weasley to send you a letter herself promising that I’ll be in safe hands.”

“Why must you continue that nonsense, don’t you see how it tore your mother and I apart?” He huffed, finally putting everything down on the table and focusing on me.

“It wasn’t magic that made mum leave you.” I snarled, sick of him pinning the blame on her.

“How dare you accuse me y/n. I can keep you here all summer if you insist on acting like such a child.”

“Ah yes what a great idea, keep me here to rot while you work day and night. That’s a real punishment father, at least you can do one thing right.”

“Leave then!” He bellowed, pushing away his chair and standing up.

In that second I realised I had yet to see my father in anything but a suit since I’d come home from school. He had become so enthralled in work that it had pushed away everyone he had once loved.

“Go see your silly little friends, or your mother, I couldn’t care less.”

With that he picked up his briefcase and started to open the front door. I stared as he turned back to me with a look of fear on his face, but it went as quickly as it had appeared. “Just don’t you dare come back to me when your paradise burns down.”

The door slammed behind him, but I wasn’t bothered. I could win him over, as cold hearted as he acted towards me, I always could. This wasn’t our first fight, nor would it be our last. He was just lashing out, and he would apologise in a day or two. I just had to move on from it in the meantime.

Immediately I wrote a letter to Hermione to tell her I was ‘allowed’ to come and sent it off with my little barn owl Canon. I packed my things in a hurry and sat on my case at the back door, with the realisation that I had no way to actually get to the Weasley’s burrow. An hour passed with my case still waiting for me at the door as I made endless cups of tea in nervous anticipation. While I was sipping on my fourth I heard a screech by the window. Little Canon was sat with another letter in his beak.

“Good boy” I cooed and took it from him, opening it up as I ruffled his feathers. “Quick, back in your cage in case dad comes home.” He squawked and did as he was told.

The letter was short, but told me all I needed to know.

We’ll be there at 6pm muggle time to get you, wait in the garden. Love, Mione x

I smiled and hid my case behind the shed, hoping I could sneak out without dad noticing. But of course, lady luck was not in my favour. He came home at 5, frowning at the way I sat at the kitchen table. Maybe he wondered if I had moved since he’d left that morning.

But no words were shared, and he just sauntered off to the living room.

“y/n?” Dad called out, coming down the hall. I looked up from my book.

“Yes?” he sat beside me at the table, taking a hold of my hand sincerely.

“I just wanted to apologise for this morning I was-”

“Really it’s fine dad, I’m over it.” I felt a pang of guilt, knowing that in a matter of minutes I would be leaving.

“I just don’t like the idea of leaving you with strangers, and maybe it’s because I’m not like your mother that I’m afraid of who they are. Who you’re becoming.”

I heard a whirring, sputtering in the distance.

“Please stay here y/n darling, I’ll take some time off work and we can do something nice together.” I nodded silently, causing him to smile and stand up. “I’ll go get changed then we can make some dinner yeah?”

I waited until I heard him use the stairs, the noise getting louder and louder as it got closer.

From the kitchen window a floating car came into view, reminding me that I needed to be quick if I wanted to get out before Father noticed it. I ran to put on my shoes and grab my coat. I threw it on just as he shouted down to me.

“What’s that sound y/n!”

I ignored him and headed to the back door, grabbing Canon’s cage from under the table and calling him into it from outside. He flew in and I heard the footsteps come through the house.

“Quick my dad’s coming down!” I shouted to Hermione, who was hanging out the back of the car. She took my owl’s cage as I ran to the shed for my case.

The trunk popped immediately and I chucked it in with no hesitation.

My Father appeared at the back door, frozen with shock at the sight before him. The passenger door opened behind me but I just kept my dad’s gaze as he forgot how to speak.

“I’m sorry dad I have to go,” I hurried my words, shouting over the loud engine.

A long arm stretched out behind me, pulling me inside the car as I saw my father's figure reach after me. I pulled the car door closed behind me and watched my feet.

“Go now! Please!”

My father’s eyes dropped as I went up into the air, uttering pleads to himself as he watched me go off into the distance. I didn’t dare another look back at the shell of a man I was leaving.

“Thank you,” I finally saw that it was Fred who was driving, and who had pulled me up with such ease before.

“It’s all my pleasure, I love a good getaway mission.” he smiled at me, taking his eyes off the sky to look at me a second before speeding off. Making Hermione squeal in excitement in the back.

-

Ron and Harry were waiting outside along with George to watch us land when we arrived. They waved excitedly, cheering on the shaky parking job to mess with Fred. From behind them Mr and Mrs Weasley came out, Mrs Weasley with her arms crossed shaking her head.

I held my breath as we got out, ready for her to be angry beyond all emotions. But she just pulled me into a loving hug, only letting go to slap the older boy’s head as he tried to sneak past.

“There’s no telling these boys what they can and can’t do is there y/n?” she smiled, “I’m just glad you’re here, Hermione told me all about your father dear.” She whispered as we walked inside. “Well not to worry, we have plenty to celebrate.” She announced.

“Yes, it’s Harry’s birthday on saturday so we’re having a big bonfire party for it.” Ron told me, making his best friend blush with embarrassment beside him.

“I told you it’s really fine, I don’t need you to make a big fuss over me.” Harry explained, but everyone at the table just shushed him in unison.

-

It was Monday morning when I woke up in Ginny’s empty room with Hermione, with 5 days until the party there was enough to keep us occupied. But Fred and George’s pranks didn’t help get things underway.

Obviously I knew the twins at Hogwarts, they were Ron’s family after all, but I had never spoken to them alone before. I’d never had a reason to. But now I had no choice.

Hermione was finishing up the cleaning in the kitchen, having offered to give Molly a break so she and Arthur could go for an evening walk together.

That usually meant they would be gone a good hour or so, and this meant the twins and Ron went into full mischief mode. Ron and Harry were busy trying to convince Hermione to have a drink with them that the twins had snuck from Arthur’s stash, not that he would notice (or even mind). George had already drunk too much of it and was currently laying in the field outside of his back, singing to the stars in the sky. I laughed at him from the window, alone in the sitting room, or at least I had been.

“Here, you’ll need some too.” I turned at Fred’s voice, him holding out a glass of the firewhiskey to me. I took it from him and forced back that first sip with a grimace.

“Promise me I won’t get like that?” I told him, referring to his tone-deaf lookalike in the garden.

“I’ll make sure you’re in bed before mum and dad get back,” he laughed. “Only if you help me carry that lunatic up.”

“Deal,” I laughed and drank again, this time it tasted not as searing as the first.

-

I fulfilled the promise I made by helping shove George up to his room that night, which proved a lot harder than expected.

“You never told me you were on the top floor,” I groaned, hearing the front door open and close signalling their parents’ return. “Oh fuck quick, I can’t talk to your mother when I’m drunk.”

“Haha got you! I knew you were drunk this entire time.” Fred whisper-shouted, dropping his brother in excitement. We had stayed talking most of the night, the others had snuck off somewhere leaving just the two of us to get more and more tipsy.

“Help me Fred,” I groaned, still taking the weight of George which was a lot. The blacked out boy groaned in my arms.

“Here, throw him in there. I’ll deal with it.” Fred opened his bedroom door and helped me toss his brother inside.

Then it was just the two of us on the landing, a silence having taken over the house suddenly. Maybe it was the alcohol, but he didn’t seem half as irritating as I had assumed he was when I was at Hogwarts. In fact, he was quite sweet.

“Right.” I said, startling him from his thoughts a little. “I better get to bed before your parents catch me,” I laughed lightly.

“Goodnight y/n,” He smiled, “sleep well.”

-

The next couple of days I didn’t get much of a chance to speak to Fred alone. But we all spent time together. So he was always there, as a reminder of my confusing feelings from that first full day at the burrow.

As I thought over the past week or so I was reminded of how quickly he had dragged me into the car, not risking leaving me with my father for a second longer. The way he’d been the one to join me when I was sat alone that night. Even just glances at the dinner table, everything made me wonder whether what I had seen as friendly acts were maybe more.

Or maybe I was going insane?

“What are you thinking about?” Hermione asked me as we cleaned the flying car. She’d offered to do it to say thank you for letting us stay, so I of course agreed to help.

“Oh nothing,” I laughed, hoping she would drop it.

“Come on y/n, you can’t hide anything from me. It’s so obvious that you’re distracted.”

Luckily she was interrupted by Fred and George coming outside to play a game of quidditch with Ron and Harry who were already whirring around the grounds on their brooms.

“Oh girls this really is a treat!” George shouted over, winking at Hermione who just scoffed at his teasing.

“If you look for too long it’ll cost you,” I smirked back as they passed by.

“For you? I’d take out a loan darling!” Fred shouted back, making me roll my eyes and splash the hose at both boys. They ran off to escape a water fight and I turned back to Hermione who had a suggesting look on her face.

“Oh what now?” I groaned.

“Never seen Fred act like that.” She said matter-of-factly.

“Come on, that was just him joking.”

“I’ve seen him joking. That wasn’t a joke y/n.”

“It was all playful.”

The damp girl came over to my side of the slightly cleaner car, facing the makeshift quidditch pitch and the boys playing.

“Do you want to know what I think?” She smirked again.

“You’re going to tell me anyway aren’t you?”

“I think that Fred likes you… a lot.”

“And I think that you’ve got it twisted.” I scoffed, going back to my task. Mainly to stop myself from watching the boy at hand take his top off in the scorching sun.

“You didn’t see how quickly he offered to be the one to get you in the car, god even Ron could have driven but Fred insisted it be him to go with me.” She started, but I just ignored her still. Continuing to clean the side mirrors.

“And you must see how he looks at you, he’s in love.”

“Oh shut up!” I laughed, unable to take her claims seriously.

“Even Ron’s noticed how he’s acting around you, and he’s clueless!” She had a point there.

“He’s just friendly, not to mention that he barely knows me.”

Molly came outside just in time to stop Hermione from spewing anymore nonsense about Fred. “Could either of you girls do me a favour?” She asked.

“I will.” I offered, anything to get away from my incessant best friend for a while.

“Great thanks y/n could you collect some firewood from the forest, we still need some for the bonfire.”

“No problem,” I put the sponge into the bucket of water.

“Go grab a jacket though sweetie, it’ll be colder once the sun sets.” I nodded and went to grab one from the burrow.

I passed Arthur writing an essay at the table and hurled myself up the stairs glad to have some time to myself for a while. As much as I loved the Weasley’s, it could sometimes get suffocating being with them at all hours of the day.

“Here she is,” Molly said, “Fred darling!” she shouted and I groaned internally. The boy ran over, “Go with y/n to collect firewood will you?”

“Ah you chose the strongest one didn’t you?” he joked, flexing his arms in his mother's face.

“Go put a shirt on first you fool.” she huffed and went back inside.

I stood still by the wheelbarrow left for us as Hermione came over a look of satisfaction painted across her face. She crossed her arms and laughed.

“Not a word okay,” I glared but she took my threat as being empty.

“Have fun!” she shouted after me and Fred caught up with his shirt now on.

-

I threw sticks and logs into the wheelbarrow that Fred pushed along, all the while keeping up the casual small talk. Soon the topic turned to Hogwarts.

“I guess we never did speak at school huh,” he thought out loud.

“Yeah, you’re always with George too. Hard to know someone when they’re joined at the hip with their twin.” I teased.

“Ohh so you wanted to know me?”

“You know what I meant, if someone wanted to hypothetically it would be hard to.”

“Right right,”

He wasn’t very convinced, just smiled to himself. We walked for a while, just doing what we’d come into the forest to do.

“I’ve wanted to get to know you..” he said out of nowhere, I paused slightly and hoped he didn’t notice it, “well at least since you came here.”

“Well, you haven’t been doing a bad job.” It was hard to gauge where his head was at.

On the one hand he could just be being friendly to me, want to know me as a friend and all this ‘getting to know me’ chat is purely platonic. But as much as I hated to admit it, Hermione’s words had stuck with me. What if he liked me, and she wasn’t wrong about his ‘advances’. I was pretty sure that I liked him, but only if he felt the same. It was confusing.

“We better get back, it’s already dark and the barrow’s full enough.” Fred said, turning himself around to head back. I couldn't see much, I’d left my wand back at the house in a hurry to leave and Fred’s had been left on their quidditch pitch.

I tripped over something on the ground, grazing my knee with a groan. Fred immediately let go of the wheelbarrow and took my arm. He helped me up with ease, just like he had done that day with the car. Despite the pitch black night, I could see the way his face contorted into worry. I watched him, neither of us saying anything for a moment.

“You alright?” He looked over me quickly.

“Yeah fine, thank you.” I laughed to myself, finally the embarrassment of having fallen over hitting me.

I took a step and winced, the boy beside me stopping again.

“Here,” he lifted me off the ground and placed me on top of the log pile in the wheelbarrow. “Lay back alright or you’ll fall off again clumsy.” He teased, making me feel more relaxed than before.

I had never realised how strong he really was until I felt how effortlessly he handled me.

He wheeled me back to the house slowly, being careful not to let me topple once again. The whole family crowded me when Fred had to carry me inside the kitchen in his arms, which I wasn’t complaining about. Until all the fuss started, then I insisted I’d be fine to walk.

“It’s just a graze, really it’s nothing.” Molly made me some tea and refused to let me get up until she’d cleaned up the cut on my knee and put a bandage on it. An overreaction if you asked me, but still I appreciated her concern.

Soon the others went up to bed, the plan for everyone to go to Diagon Alley in the morning so Harry could choose his presents himself. Plus it meant everyone could get a headstart on their school supplies. Much to Hermione’s delight.

It was just Molly and Fred sat with me at the kitchen table, Mrs Weasley refusing to let me sleep until she was sure I didn’t have a concussion and Fred wouldn’t let me attempt the stairs on my own.

“Really, I didn’t hit my head, did I Fred?”

“Better be safe than sorry,” Molly laughed, finally giving into the idea that I might be okay to go to bed. “I’ll stay home with you tomorrow, can’t have you limping around Diagon Alley in this state can we?”

“I’ll stay with her mum,” Fred offered, I looked over confused. Was he being nice or was he-

“No no Fred it’s fine,” Molly insisted. But her son was just as determined.

“Mum, go. You love school shopping, plus I hate it. George can just get two of whatever he gets for me.”

Mrs Weasley sighed and nodded.

“Well I suppose it would be nice to get out for a while, this place can drive you mad sometimes.” She laughed. Oh I knew. “I’m going up to bed, please don’t let her walk up Freddie.”

Her son laughed lightly but nodded still, knowing I wouldn’t be able to convince him overwise. I glared at him jokingly.

“Night mum,”

“Goodnight Mrs Weasley.”

“Call me Molly already y/n!” She said for the fifth time that day and disappeared up to bed.

“Are you tired yet?” He asked me once we were alone again. I shook my head.

“You?” The boy replied the same as I did.

“Thank you by the way,” I told him sheepishly. “I feel stupid that you have to look after me.”

“I don’t have to, I wanted to.” Fred smiled, and that’s when I realised how genuine he’d been all this time. It was the same tone and smile he had always used with me, it had been real from the start.

“Can I ask you something?” I said, holding back any fear I had of being completely wrong and just biting the bullet.

“Sure,” He sipped some firewhiskey hidden by a mug.

“Hermione said you offered to get me, when I was at my Dad’s house,”

“Yeah well she mentioned that he can be a bit aggressive and I wanted to be there in case he tried anything.”

“Right, thank you… again.” He laughed quietly, not wanting to wake anyone this late.

“Was that it?”

“Uh not really, Hermione also said… and this is probably stupid or just completely wrong.” I took a deep breath and said what I had been thinking all week. “Well I just want to know if how you act with me is because you’re a nice person.. Or whether it’s because of something more.”

He smiled down at the table.

“By something more, you mean that I like you right?” He asked.

“Uhhh yeah haha it’s silly isn’t it.”

“Not really. I didn’t want it to be overwhelming in case you felt differently.” He explained.

“Right.”

“Do you feel the same?” Fred asked me.

“I think so,” He laughed again at my response. “I mean yeah I do, it was kinda hanging in your answer really.”

-

We didn’t discuss feeling for any longer that night, just chatted for another hour about everything else in our lives. I told him about my parents, and how guilty I felt about leaving my dad regardless of how awful he could be.

Fred told me about his fear of failing. He always wanted to be the best at quidditch because he was never academically gifted, so when he would lose or not do well in a match he took it hard on himself.

It wasn’t as deep at the time, but upon reflection we’d covered some heavy stuff. All before he casually lifted me from my chair and carried me up to bed. He stopped at Ginny’s door where Hermione was sleeping inside, and smiled down at me in his arms. I blushed slightly and looked away.

“See you in the morning?” He asked.

“Only if you lift me out of bed,” I teased.

Fred quietly opened the door and placed me on Ginny’s bed, as my friend had already set up camp on the floor. The only noise in the room was her gentle snores, which made it very hard for us to refrain from laughing. The boy stood up straight and winked, mouthing goodnight and stepping over the sleeping girl on the floor and out into the hallway.

I laid back, completely content knowing that the next day could only bring further joy to this week.

-

When I woke up there was a tall ginger boy sat at the end of my bed, as he had promised, holding two mugs of tea.

“Morning darling,”

“Were you watching me sleep,” I mumbled, slowly opening my eyes. He walked round the bed and sat beside me as I propped myself up. He passed me the mug and I took a sip.

“Most definitely not,” He smirked and I put my head on his shoulder.

It all felt so natural now that Fred had made his feelings clear. I wasn’t even fazed by him carrying me down to get some breakfast. I was still tired from staying up late the night before, which he could tell by my consistent yawns.

“Wanna go back to bed?” He asked me. I nodded sleepily.

He put me in his bed, feeling weird laying next to me in his little sister’s bed.

“Plus mine is much more comfy,” The boy wasn’t wrong, it was like a little cloud of happiness.

A kiss was placed on my forehead as I drifted off, Fred’s body laying beside mine, his arm resting beneath my head, working as a cosy pillow.

I snuggled into his larger frame, enjoying the comfort having him around gave me.

-

When the others came back he woke me gently, helping me to my feet when I explained that my leg felt a lot better than it had done all day. I managed to walk, leaning most of my weight on the cautious redhead beside me.

“Y/N!” Harry and Ron had exclaimed, happy to see me back on my feet.

“You guys have fun?” I asked them.

“Yeah, look what Harry got,” Ron was acting like an excited child.

From behind the table they produced a brand new broom.

“Woah!” I widened my eyes, never being that interested in brooms but feigning excitement for them in this moment.

“We’re gonna go test it, will you watch from the window.”

“Course I will.”

They ran into the garden, the twins following close behind. Hermione came up behind me with a smile on her face. “So.. you and Fred looked very cosy just now.”

“I suppose we did,” I ignored her smirk.

“You talked to him didn’t you.” I just nodded, not wanting to give in to her. “I was right wasn’t I?” she laughed.

“Of course you were Hermione Granger, the day you’re wrong the world will stop.” I teased her as I hobbled to the window, seeing Harry whiz past the window with a shout. He narrowly missed hitting the trees as he skimmed over the forest and back towards the house in a flash.

-

Everyone helped set up the bonfire that evening, even I tried to prop logs up with my slightly injured leg. But Fred came and stopped me almost straight away, picking me up easily and placing me down on a garden chair.

“Stay.” he demanded.

“I’m not a dog!” I shouted as he returned to the bonfire making.

“Woof woof!!” He called back in protest.

-

That night we all drank ourselves silly in Harry’s honour. I’d never seen Hermione so happy, finally letting all that stress she held onto slip away as she and Ron stole some fireworks from the twins’ stash.

George of course went through the seven stages of being drunk, the scale starting at professing his love to any inanimate object that came into his possession, all the way down to staring at the stars again.

Molly and Arthur gave in first, kissing us all goodnight and stumblestumbling up to bed.  Hermione and Ron ended up having to drag Harry off to sleep not too long after, the birthday boy still singing ‘Sweet Caroline’ (his favourite muggle song) as he let us. Neither of his carers returned so I could only presume that they’d fallen asleep too.

George was still doing his sky serenading routine, insisting that he would sleep in the field once again. Fred and I left him to do his thing there while we rambled to one another drunkenly by the fire.

“Do you know something?” he had started off, “From the moment Ron introduced you to me at Hogwarts, I had been wishing he would bring you here.” His face was warm from the fire as he leant it against my own.

“You always were my favorite Weasley, Fred.” I giggled, taking the last sip from my beer.

The bonfire had started to die down and I began to shiver in the cool summer air, despite the copious amount of blankets Molly had piled onto me.

“Come on trouble, let’s get you up to bed.” Fred announced, once again lifting me as if I weighed nothing.

“What about him,” I motioned to George who was beginning to sound like Luna, praising the moon and the clouds with all the passion of an old-timey poet.

“I’ll sort him out after, don’t you worry.” His brother laughed, taking me inside.

I was left in Fred’s bed while he went down to retrieve George, the cold air still filtering through the gaps in their bedroom window. I reached up to the headboard, grabbed a jumper and pulled it on. After about 20 minutes I was beginning to warm up beneath the covers when Fred returned empty handed.

“What did you do to George?” I laughed.

“Left him on the sofa,” He scoffed, “I’m not pulling him up the stairs on my own, I might be strong. But he is a bloody lot of dead weight.” He huffed, pulling off his shirt and getting into bed with me.

“Oh so not only are you stealing my bed, but my clothes too,” He smirked, noticing the knitted jumper with a big ‘F’ on the front that I was wearing.

“I was cold.” I whined, sleepily.

“That’s okay baby.”

He couldn’t see my face, but still I tried to hide my smile. Secretly happy that we were so normal about things.

-

Another week passed by and soon we were all heading to the train station to go back to Hogwarts for another year. I piled my stuff onto the train along with Hermione, who went to save us a carriage as I said goodbye to Molly and Arthur.

“Thank you so much for letting me stay, it’s been the best summer I’ve had in years.” I beamed, hugging them both in turn.

“You’re always welcome to stay with us, no matter what y/n darling.” Molly promised. “Now you better hurry before the train leaves.”

Fred and George had rushed to see their friends as soon as we’d arrived on the platform. I had thought about going and saying hi, but decided against it. I remembered the reason that Fred and I had barely known one another before the summer.  

He had his life, and his friends. And I had mine. We were still different in that sense.

“Come on y/n!” Ron called, sticking his head out of a carriage window. Hermione was doing her best to pull him back inside, but he insisted on making faces to his father.

I jumped on and walked down the hall, turning to open the sliding door when a flash of red hair caught my eye. I stopped and looked, seeing George push his brother into a carriage with a laugh. Like that they were gone.

-

I didn’t get to see Fred properly until 6 days into the new term. He had been busy with quidditch, and I helped Hermione study. Despite the fact that we had months until the first lot of exams.

Everyone else had gone to the great hall for dinner, but I had skipped it, telling the others that I needed to get some leftover summer homework done. Really I just needed a moment to relax. I went out to the courtyard and stood on the bridge, looking down at the dark lake below. I wondered why Fred hadn’t tried to talk to me at all, it wasn’t like I was really his girlfriend. But it just confused me.

Back at the burrow he hated being away from me, groaned about how horrible it would be once school started again. Yet there had been no sign of him at all, almost as if he’d disappeared entirely. Not even Ron had seen either of his brothers.

The nightly wind howled lightly and I was thrown to the ground by a flash of light and something hitting me quite hard. I closed my eyes, not daring to open them until a voice spoke above me.

“Oh finally.” I recognised Fred, immediately pushing him off me and jumping up.

“What the hell!” I shouted. “How did you- what? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?” I shouted in shock.

The redhead rubbed his neck sheepishly, shoving something into his pocket quickly.

“What are you hiding?” I asked him.

“I just wanted to surprise you,” He laughed nervously, blatantly lying. Which was odd, because usually I could never tell.

“What’s up with you, I haven’t seen you at all since we came back. Where the hell have you and George been!” I was starting to get annoyed as he stood there waiting for me to finish.

Then there was another flash, I jumped back just in time to see George falling to the ground out of thin air. He groaned and kicked his brother’s leg.

“You git!” He called up to him, “You were supposed to come back for me.”

“Someone needs to explain what’s going on RIGHT NOW!” I shouted, startling George who hadn’t seen me behind him.

“Oh hi y/n, i’ll leave that to Freddie here. It was his idea after all.” He glared at his twin before stumbling off, clutching his head.

“Tell me everything right now Fred,” I demanded.

“Well George and I stole something from Hermione, and we were just testing it out you know. Then we sort of lost it, and couldn’t get back to Hogwarts.”

“What do you mean you couldn’t get back,” I frowned.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a golden ball, attached to a chain, a small circle surrounding it’s charm.

“Come here,” I stepped closer, still unsure about his story. He wrapped the long chain around my neck and then his, forcing us to stand close to one another. I’d missed him in the past week or so, and being close to him made me feel like I had no worries. Just like the warmth of summer had felt.

His long fingers held the ball and he lifted it up to show me as he spun the circle around it.

I watched it turn over and over as if it had a life of its own, Fred’s voice distracted me from its trance.

“y/n, look.” I watched his face and he laughed. “See,”

The sky was bright, not like the moonlight I'd been beneath back at the castle. Then I noticed the burrow, and the forest and I could hear the voices of Ron and Harry debating something from inside the house.

“What- how did we? What is that thing?” I asked Fred.

But he didn’t answer me right then, he just took my hand and ran into the forest, pushing me behind a tree and ducking.

“It’s a time turner, means we can travel back in time to events we were a part of.” He whispered.

“Why are we hiding?” I whispered back.

“You’ll see.”

Just as he uttered those words, two girls came out of the burrow and headed to the flying car that was covered in mud. It was me and Hermione, ready to wash the car for the Weasley’s.

“How am I here and there, how is this possible. There’s two of me.” He chuckled at my hushed shock.

“What’s Hermione saying?” He asked.

“She’s trying to convince me that you fancy me.” I laughed quietly.

“Did it work?”

“Then? No way.”

I watched the two redheaded twins come out and flirt exactly as they had done that day, then Molly came out right on cue, asking me to go into the forest for wood.

“We need to go.” I told him. “We’ll be coming out here soon.”

He nodded, wrapping the chain around me.

“Wait, look.” He whispered pointing to another part of the forest and ducking further down beneath a nearby bush. There was yet another version of Fred hidden by the trees watching himself flirt with me.

“I came here with George before, this is when I got stuck. I stayed to watch us in the woods and George went to play a prank on himself, he lost the time turner and I nearly left him behind. Plus so much time had passed since I’d left that I couldn’t just go back to the start of term. I honestly tried to.”

“But how did George get back if you had it?”

“I must ask him when we’re at hogwarts. It's very impressive.” Then he spun the ring once again, and in a single flash we were back on the bridge where we had left moments before.

“Why did you go back?” I asked him.

“I felt bad, I wanted things to be like they had been with us at the burrow. But I’d gotten so caught up with my friends that I never even got a chance to talk to you before we got on the train.”

“So you went back weeks?”

“I wanted to relive those memories too, wouldn’t you?” He asked.

“I’d rather make new ones with you, here.”

“I’m sorry y/n, you’re right.”

“It’s sweet though.” I blushed, nudging his side.

Fred led me inside, all the way to the great hall where dinner was still going on. We passed Ron, Harry and Hermione, whose jaw dropped seeing Fred and I together at school.

“Guys, this is y/n. My girlfriend.” Fred introduced me to his friends all gathered at the other end of the Gryffindor table with a proud smile across his face, his hand linked into mine tightly.

[astraltrain]

I feel like writing little snippets about Marvin gaining brothers and thinking all of them are terrible at first (except Chase) so here’s the first one :)

——————

He’s spent his whole life being called cold.

Irritation is his most reliable emotion. It is not uncommon to see him burning a quiet fire in the corner, blue flames warning of a temper rising like lava in the throat of a nauseous volcano. His mouth is rarely open without voice first being sharpened, as a blade against a whetstone, and he’s never done much to keep it sheathed.

And why not? Words are weapons. You use them to protect yourself.

Keep reading

[doctor-reid]

True Colors

MASTERLIST

Summary: The team finds Reid with his girlfriend (reader) on their day off. Only, he doesn’t look the same. (This fic works best if you imagine Spencer with his short hair)

A/N: This one’s in second person because I am ~indecisive~ when it comes to POV. Also this is super OoC but punk Spencer owns my soul.

Shout out to @linguinereid who was posting about this topic so much about this the other day that it inspired me to write this little fic. I love everything they post!

Warnings: It’s literally just fluff and teasing from Derek.

Paring: Spencer Reid x Female Reader

Word Count: 1k

----------

Spencer woke up early, despite the lack of alarm. The world just wanted him to suffer. He looked over to his girlfriend, who was curled up in a little ball. He just smiled to himself. This was his one day off and he wanted to spend every second of it with her. He gently put his hand on her, attempting to wake her.

“Y/N, baby, it’s time to get up.” His voice was so soft it was barely audible.

You just groaned and turned over, burying your face in your pillow.

“It’s my one day off, do you really want to sleep through it?” he whispered in your ear. It sent chills down your spine.

Immediately, you sat up. You forgot all about that until he mentioned it. You were now excited to get ready for the day. Spencer just chuckled at how easy it was to wake you up.

“I will start making coffee while you get ready.” He placed a soft kiss on your cheek as he walked out of the bedroom.

It didn’t take you long to get ready. Sometimes you joked that Spencer was the girl out of the two of you with the time he took in the mornings. This was especially true on his days off. He didn’t have to worry about dress codes, so he had a lot more options. You played with your lip piercing for a minute, deciding what you wanted to do with it today. After a minute, you decided to leave it in. You walked into the kitchen, completely dressed, just as the coffee was done. 

Spencer grabbed your mug from the drying rack along with his own, and poured you both a full cup. He drank his quickly before heading off to get dressed. You decided to savor yours while playing on your phone. You were going to be sitting here for a while.

When Spencer finally emerged from the bedroom, you couldn’t help but just look at him. He was always handsome, no matter what he wore. But damn, his day off outfits were something else.

As always, he was wearing his converse, but that’s where normal stopped. He was wearing his favorite pair of black ripped skinny jeans. He was also wearing a Blink-182 crop top that had been worn out. You didn’t mind when he wore crop tops though, because then you could see his amazing belly button piercing that matched your own.

He had in his other piercings too. When he put in one, he put all of them in. The tongue, the three ear piercings in his left ear, and the two in his right. The tattoo on his right arm was visible as well. He looked good like this, and you wish he could dress like this every day. Stupid FBI and their boring rules.

----------

It was a lovely day outside so the two of you decided to have a day at the park. You packed a basket of food and a blanket. The two of you were just laying there. You were tucked underneath his arm, both of you watching the clouds. Then, Spencer heard somebody call his name. He immediately sat up and looked around. That’s when he saw Derek and Penelope walking right towards him.

“Hey guys!” Spencer shouted out, attempting to not look scared.

“Woah,” Derek said as he got closer, “Where’s pretty boy and what have you done with him? And who’s the lovely lady?”

You stifled a giggle and Spencer lightly slapped you on the arm. Obviously he didn’t think this was as funny as you did.

“Derek, Penelope, this is my girlfriend Y/N. Y/N, this is Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia, I work with them.” He motioned to the two people standing in front of them. Both of them had extremely shocked looks on their faces. Is it possible his coworkers never knew about you?

“That still doesn’t answer my other question Reid,” Morgan smirked. Was he enjoying this? Probably.

“You must be a really bad profiler if you didn’t notice this before.” Spencer had jokes too. “It’s not like I am hiding it. You can clearly see the holes in my ears. Maybe you just chose to ignore it though.”

“Fair point. I just never expected this from you.” 

Spencer said something back, but you couldn’t hear it over the conversation that was starting between you and Garcia.

“So, Y/N, how long have you been with our dear doctor?” She seemed nice.

“1 year, 8 months, and 19 days.” you said matter-of-factly. Spencer wasn’t the only one in this relationship with an eidetic memory.  You just didn’t have the same ambition as him.

“Wow, that’s specific. Though, Reid is the same way so that doesn’t surprise me.” She just chuckled.

Spencer grabbed your hand to reassure you. Even though you had been with Spencer for a while, this was your first time meeting any of his coworkers. Every time he planned something, a case got in the way, or you had to work. You were glad you were getting to meet them. 

“Well,” Derek spoke up, “My and Garcia got to go. Things to do. We will see you both later.” The two of them walked off. Spencer waved them off before laying back down. You did the same. 

“They seemed nice.” you turned to Spencer.

“They are nice. I am glad they got to meet you.”

“And they got to meet the real you too.”

“What makes you say they haven’t?” Apparently he didn’t like your implication.

“I may only be a tattoo artist, but I know when somebody receives shocking information. They were obviously taken aback. So, they probably have never seen you like this before.”

“Okay, you make a fair point. You’re right.”

“Of course I am. Maybe now that they’ve seen this side of you, you will be a little more like this all the time?” Your eyes were begging him. Yu knew it was entirely his choice though. That doesn’t mean you can’t persuade him.

“Maybe, but I will only do it if you agree to come into work with me the same day to meet them.”

“Tomorrow?” You pleaded.

“Sure, Tomorrow.” He placed a kiss on your forehead before laying back down. He brought your head with him and rested it on his chest. “For now, let’s enjoy the rest of this beautiful day.”

“That sounds wonderful. I love you Spencer.”

“I love you too.” 

[thequibblah]

⭐️ would love some commentary on that dancing scene (or really any commentary on the various parties thrown by the marauders) from the party happening next to the Potions Club party ⭐️

WELL WELL WELL

"This is...a lot of trouble to go to." "It's the Marauders. They love trouble."

i love writing party scenes (as i'm sure you all know lol) and one of the best/worst things w the marauders parties is striking a balance between their, uh, audacious plans, and what's realistically possible at hogwarts without getting caught. (aka literally why i made up the dodgy lodgings). i went back and forth so long on whether or not they could plausibly have managed that with slughorn's dinner next door, but then was like ah whatever the party has to happen for plot reasons so.... plot ex machina??

anyway, i love using parties to establish character — what a brilliant stage of teenage performance they provide. i love contrasting the hogwarts parties to, say, evan wronecki's — for instance, how lily and co. are more at ease in the former, as seventh years, with their classmates hosting, than they were at evan's nye bash

i also love that it gives me space to establish who is and isn't popular, so to speak, but also who acts or doesn't act the way we presume popular kids will act

doe, for instance, who is by all accounts a level-headed and non-wild person, has a more exciting time on net at marauders' parties than mary (drinking game, kissing remus), though she's not a big drinker and isn't really into parties. but she's comfortable in her own little social circle at a bigger event (like with michael at evan's) and so isn't bothered at all by the marauders' do, because...

She did, in fact, trust the Marauders. Her general belief in the inherent goodness of people notwithstanding, she didn't think they would do anything to harm their friends. Intentionally.

this bit always makes me laugh

as with many things, i feel very saddened that i didn't get to make more out of the fools' olympics (although one could argue that The Dance was a pro) — as in, i wish i'd been able to squeeze more of it into the story itself. i could probably come up with a list of tasks and who completed them LOL

WAIT OH MY GOD I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THIS it just might be my favourite part of this chapter

"How did you do that?" Gillian said, glancing between the other two girls. "Just — drink it without a second thought?" "Practice," said Mary. "Scottish — constitution," David said hoarsely. "I once drank some of Mrs. Skower's All-Purpose Magical Mass Remover," said Priya.

priya is all i aspire to be

can i say, too, it's hilarious to me how many people worried niamh would be a james love interest? i feel like you will not rest easy on that count until he and lily are together... but that is not where the danger lies babes

circling back to popularity/unpopularity, another fun outlier. gillian is first established, in 33, as someone with friends (we see her around sara and in the seventh-year ravenclaws' compartment) but she's not exactly at ease at the party either ��� recall how she hesitates when mary invites her. only later, in 38, do we realise that our opinion of her has been skewed by the narration (from doe, who naturally assumes any friendly, nice person must have a wealth of friends and be floating through life; and mary, who naturally assumes anyone she isn't bored by must have the social skills of a medieval noblewoman at court), and she's a bit of a pariah in her own house

david, on the other hand, is just flat-out not in his element. and not because of the drinking or the, er, general revelry (see: summer with mary!), even though he doesn't partake much in either. unlike doe, the company breaks rather than makes his enjoyment — he's acutely aware, the whole time, that his cooler, more liked brother is around:

"Not your scene?" "What gave it away?" said David drily. As one they looked at Chris...

...and mary has intuited as much too, even though she has a lot more in common, superficially speaking, with chris than david

so, i think while i was writing this chapter i made a post complaining about how, as much as i love juggling the constraints of historical fiction, i hate that music from the 70s limits me in terms of tracklists. i.e., when i say a certain record is playing i can't just hit shuffle and go somewhere entirely different to set the mood shortly thereafter

this problem was because i wanted, NAY, NEEDED, to have "martha my dear" playing in the aftermath of that mary and david interaction. of course, time passes in that section break, but since "come and get it," which they talk about it, is a sirius song (though it could be a mary song), and i feel too strongly about needle drops to let that conversation go without a soundtrack. germaine even correctly guesses the white album is on because of mary:

Apparently Mary got fonder of the White Album the drunker she was.

...and of course the song itself makes me squeal with how very mary it is — not that it is something she would listen to, necessarily, or identify with (it would hold up too close of a mirror, ha), but it sounds like it could've been written about her ("hold your head up, you silly girl/look what you've done/when you find yourself in the thick of it/help yourself to a bit of what is all around you," which really sums up the entirety of her portree holiday, lol)

BUT! if "martha my dear" is to play here, then i have some Serious Chronology Concerns. i knew germeline had to kiss and jily had to dance and ideally in that order. but what would those scenes be soundtracked by!!!! i was limited to side two of the white album!!!

so i did the healthy thing and panic-listened to the white album. "don't pass me by" was, right away, an easy lock for the dance, because it's danceable, but not in a way that would've scared lily off. lyrically, it feels GREAT for jily in this moment, on the cusp of lily's realisation ("waiting for your knock, dear [...] i don't hear it, does it mean you don't love me anymore?" vs OF COURSE "don't pass me by [...] 'cause you know darling, i love only you"). i feel about "don't pass me by" the same way as NYT critic nik cohn: it's "straight ahead and clumsy and greatly enjoyable, backed by a beautiful hurdy-gurdy organ," which, if that isn't everything i wanted to evoke with the dance itself!!!!!!

ok we'll circle back to this, but onward with the musical discussion

thus i had four songs to choose from, between "martha my dear" and "don't pass me by," for the germeline scene — "piggies," "blackbird," "i'm so tired," and "rocky raccoon." the latter is on my sirius playlist, so auto-no; "piggies" is, well, like that, so also a no. "blackbird" is a certified germaine classic that was written personally by paul mccartney for germaine, but it seemed too introspective for the moment. i don't think i'd ever listened to "i'm so tired" before this panicked searching, and honestly it must be some wild luck that it is. just SO RIGHT!!!! it's so lethargic and tortured and angsty and, well, a bit of a stoner song, so.... it's THERE

AND NOW for the dance! true story, i initially wanted jily to have a real conversation, after the party. i had the dance in there and then james would catch up with lily after to be like, "hey i was wrong actually, you should write to petunia." but then i realised i wanted james and sirius to have a conversation about the bike/money, and i wanted it to strike a different chord, tonally, than the jily conversation. then i realised it would be too much to have both and i'd need to condense that conversation into the dance. VERY nearly cut the dance in favour of the conversation but wow i am glad i didn't

The tinkling piano signalled the start of the next song; she extended a hand, very matter-of-factly, to James, "Come on, this is a good one."

not pictured: james having a fucking breakdown

obviously, i could have gone the route of a genuine dramatic dance, but as previously mentioned lily would have chickened out, and i wanted to have this be an experience she could look back on and pine about because of how fun it was and james totally doesn't like her back

Loath as she was to admit it, this most indelicate of waltzes suited the plodding chords of "Don't Pass Me By." And worst of all, once they had stopped stepping on each other's feet James started to sing, in the poorest possible Ringo imitation she had ever heard in her life.

by the way, attentive readers of blink three times will recall:

He finally starts to lead — thank goodness, because she’s not the one who was forced into formal dance lessons as a child...

so in 36, this is james being drunk, but it is also james being silly on purpose because not only is he JAMES and so he must take the mick, he also knows it will put lily at ease

okay, and this bit:

"Don't pass me by, don't make me cry, don't make me blue," they both shouted rather than sang, "'Cause you know darling—" Lily broke off, laughing, dimly aware that she had done so to avoid saying I love only you while staring right at him.

from the FIRST MOMENT i picked out "don't pass me by," i knew i knew I KNEW that lily would have thoughts about this line. at this point in the story if someone questioned her about it she would probably have a full-scale breakdown about her male friends vs her female friends ("but no... i suppose i wouldn't mind saying it to remus.... but that's different!" how is it different, lily? "it's different!")

anyway, the bottom line is she could NOT abide saying it. i enjoyed writing that because 1. same girl and 2. it felt like a nice bit of close foreshadowing for her realisation, which i knew was coming soon. so that's a really circular way of saying, i knew what it meant but ideally to readers it was just oh this will mean something far-off in the future!!! which is usually true for me but SURPRISE babey it was just two chapters away!!!

note btw that lily "falls for james"

Lily spun faster than she’d intended to. The room was a brief, kaleidoscope blur. Then there was James. “Jesus, Evans,” he said, steadying her as the next track began.

>:)

and after i thought tracklists would fuck me up, i turned them into my WEAPON!!

Huffing, she stepped out of his arms. (There were some songs you could sing along to with your mates, and “Why Don’t We Do It In The Road?” was not one of them.)

(so, you know, keep in mind that for the rest of this conversation, paul is in the background howling "no one will be watching us/why don't we do it in the road?")

also:

"...I’m not drinking tonight, but I’d better get the royal treatment after we win on Saturday."

and then what happened <3

wait jesus oh my god i really went hard on this huh

She only saw its result: the easy grin had given way to an expression so serious it was almost sweet.

LILY??????

and hey, remember when:

...because in chapter 26:

Dex’s measured opinions about the wizarding world seemed more the result of upbringing and inexperience than ill will, but Lily had not expected a radical change of heart.

...but then in 36:

He was right, damn it. And a part of her had known all along, had sought him out expressly so that he would say the opposite thing to her. He’d gone and proven her wrong. She broke the staring match first [...] “What brought on the change of heart?” “It’s a long story, and I expect it’ll have an unsatisfying end if I told it to you.” Lily scoffed, but James had on that maddening grin that meant he would not budge. “Oh, all right.” Softer, she added, “Thank you.” He began to back away, towards the bar. “It’s give and take, Evans.”

in conclusion, i never forget, besties

[spooky-ghost-boi]

Vacation

Words: 1892

Tom Nook x Reader

Warnings: Feederism, feeder/feedee dynamic, mentions of smut, fatass Tanuki, bad writing because I’m tired and too annoyed to edit this properly.

Description: Tom thinks he has to lose weight but his job doesn’t really do him well so he chooses to take a vacation but ends up coming back fatter and you love it.

A/N: what this shit, tumblr could you possibly be any slower? Mentally I am beyond Spain without an S, so if any Twitter bitches see this. Fight me.

_

Tom sighed as he sat at his desk at the resident services.

He had been trying out various diets that Isabelle had recommended to him, after trying low-carb and Keto he was trying intermittent fasting and he lost about 5 pounds so far but it was making him extremely hangry most of the time. Considering that Isabelle snacked and ate lunch while being in the same room as him.

It was all alright until that damned Kitsune had the guts to appear at the Island and try to sell some faux painting to the Resident Representative, aka you.

Tom was furious and of course, kicked Redd off the Island but in the heat of his fury he tried to calm himself down but it didn’t work especially since the fucking kitsune teased Tom for his weight, which would’ve been fine, if they were alone but you had to witness that.

As soon as Tom came home he.. Well, let his anger out by binging until he couldn’t move.

He actually liked the feeling of being stuffed but he choose to ignore it although it was quite hard and he realized it was better if he took a break from work to focus on his weight loss.

The reason for his weight loss idea was quite simple; he wanted to impress you, the resident representative, he had a crush on you and told Isabelle who suggested that losing weight could help him in winning your heart.

She couldn’t have been more wrong, but it wasn’t like they both knew your kinks.. Although it was obvious. Haha idiots.

Of course Tom had told Isabelle about his plan and she agreed to do the resident services stuff.

Tom had two months of, well, vacation.

He stayed at his house and the first two days it all went great before he started binging. Constantly. To his dismay he actually enjoyed it. He didn’t know w h y or h o w but he actually disliked that he liked feeling stuffed to the brim.

So the thicc Tanuki visited another island in hopes that it would motivate him to lose weight.

(Spoiler: it didn’t HAHAHA FAT TANUKI)

During his stay at another Island he ended up discovering lots of different foods that made him feel better about the whole Redd situation and since his coping mechanism had always been stress eating he piled on a lot of weight. He was in denial, but that didn’t stop him from trying to rationalize as to why he needed bigger clothes.

Of course you were part of his racing thoughts most of the time and he liked to fantasize about you in several different ways.

So he soon returned home.

His vacation seemed to have ended too fast for him but he also wanted to get back to work so he could see you.

He stepped on the scale the evening before he had to return to work again and was surprised when it had said that he gained 30 pounds in two months, including the 5 pounds he had lost. But that couldn’t be, could it? After pondering about as to why or how he could have gained that much weight over mindlessly eating a box of half a dozen doughnuts and two cheeseburgers. He had come to the conclusion that he was too tired and that the scale must be broken.

After dumping the wrappers into the trash, he held his stuffed gut and walked to his bedroom and got onto his bed which creaked under the weight of the tubby Tanuki. Tom eyed tge stash of mini cakes that he had beside his bed, despite feeling full and heavy he decided to have a few since ‘they couldn’t do much damage, hm?’

He didn’t notice that he dozed off and woke up in the morning, surrounded by wrappers.

Tom sat up and grunted, rubbing his still rather bloated belly that sat in his lap whenever he attempted sitting up. It wasn’t really like he noticed or minded, he didn’t even notice how snug his work shirt was. He noticed the bit of rain and put on his jacket and zipped it up, completely obvious to the belly poking out from under the rain coat.

He just sighed softly, before walking downstairs into the kitchen and having some pancakes with lots of syrup for breakfast. For some reason he felt like this wasn’t exactly enough for him and looked at the clock just to see that it was still early as shit and he had t i m e.

As you can imagine the phat Tanuki had binged to the point of being exhausted by breathing but he did have places to be at so he got up anyway and walked to the resident services.

You were there with the Nooklings and Isabelle, you were excited to see Tom again after the two of you didn’t talk for so long. However nobody told you why he was gone.

Eventually Tom entered the Resident Services and Isabelle was quite surprised.

Timmy and Tommy also were surprised.

You were surprised and horny.

Tom could see the surprise in the faces of everyone. But it also made him horny. Not to mention he was a little surprised and shy to see you there and he was blushing a little.

“Ehm, good morning.” Tom responded, he needed a cigarette or some cake.

Isabelle stayed quiet and you smiled at the Tanuki.

You decided to break the awkward moment and walked towards Tom to give him a hug, because yiu had missed him and you wanted to feel all that chonk pressed against you.

Tom hugged you back instinctively, his big belly did push the two of you a bit apart but it was hot regardless.

“I made you some cake! I thought you would like it.” You said shyly as Tom nodded.

“The thing is, I forgot it at home so if you’d like to come by after work.. You could take it home? I mean.. We could have dinner at my place.” You blurted out the last part, keeping your voice so low you weren’t sure whether he had heard you.

“That’d be splendid, hm.” Tom said, then gently let go of you.

You nodded and the two of you returned to both your respective j o b s.

Tom tried to ignore Isabelle’s comments about his weight, he was sure he lost weight. Which probably was due to his lack of physical awareness.

He had spent his time snacking during work and he comfortably filed out papers and drank his coffee. Some Animals teased him but Tom didn’t really mind, in fact it was almost kinda arousing to him and he didn’t understand why.

Eventually he closed off the shop and got into his car and made his way to your house, he was a little tired and actually quite hungry.

He knocked on your door and you opened it, smiling softly at him as he was a little out of breath.

“Come in! I already made dinner.” You said, then led him to your kitchen.

“You have an eye for interior design, hm?” Tom remarked as he sat on a chair which creaked a little under his weight. He blushed, “oh- uh.”

You noted this and smiled sheepishly at him. “It’s fine! Make yourself comfortable, it’s just you and I afterall..” You said. Maybe it wasn’t the most reassuring thing to say, if you took it out of context it could have been maybe a little weird to say that. Almost sounded like you were trying to fatten up the Tanuki and eat him.. Maybe you were but more like in a sexual way.

(A/N: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))

However Tom looked a little more relaxed after you said that.

“Well, how was your day, hm?” Tom asked, as you put some food on his plate.

“It was fine, just the usual things.. I went fishing and helped out some villagers. How about you?” You asked, you had put quite a lot of food onto his plate.

“I’ve had some annoying customers, but that’s just normal.” Tom said, as he ate some of the food you had prepared, “this is really good.” He said.

_

After a few hours of talking the two of you warmed up to each other and you eventually told him how you felt about him and as a surprise, he felt the same way.

At that point Tom had packed away quite a few plates and snacks, the two of you sat on the couch and you straddled his lap.

He cupped your face and kissed you gently, before you fed him a tray of cupcakes. He obediently ate.

A couple snacks ago his shirt button seemed to have popped off and his sweater vest had exposed around half of his pretty chubby belly.

“You’re fat, I mean this in the most loving way possible.” You said and pinched his love handles.

“I’m just bloated-“ he said, jokingly.

“Sure.” You laughed.

“Alright, maybe I am. Happy? Hm?” Tom said as he unbuttoned his too tight pants and pinned you underneath him.

“You’re definitely fatter than before.” You remarked as you patted his overstuffed belly.

“Mhm.. You like it as much as I like it. Am I right?” He smirked.

_

Anyways it was a very delightful evening for the both of you and I ain’t gonna write smut because that’d be awkward as shit so just imagine it, aight?

_

Two ‘fucking’ months later.

You woke up next to Tom, who was still asleep and snoring quite loudly.

He had been eating quite well the past two months making him look pretty chubby, he was waddling now most of the time and his belly was s o f t^2.

You walked downstairs and made him some breakfast.

It didn’t take long for him to wake up because he smelled delicious food, he sighed and waddled his way downstairs and sat on a chair. “Good morning.” He said, smiling a little despite looking still pretty tired.

“Good morning! How’d you sleep?” You asked.

“Pretty well.. Well, until I woke up because I’m starving. I wouldn’t know what I’d do without you, dear.” He said.

“Starve.” You said jokingly. “You have quite the big appetite, I give you that.” You said as you placed a stack of waffles.

“Mhm..” He yawned and ate his breakfast, “I’m still.. So tired, feed it to me? Hm?”

You couldn’t tell whether this was a suggestion or order from him, but you wouldn’t be Y/N if you turned down feeding the lazy Tanuki.

You nodded and fed him, you would straddle his lap.. If you could. Tom’s belly was taking up most of it and he didn’t mind.

He ate all of it and sighed when he felt your hands rub his bloated big belly.

Eventually the two of you got ready for work and he waddled to his car, tried to wiggle into the drivers seat which didn’t work out as his tummy was in the way of the wheel.

“Need help?” You asked.

“I would appreciate it, yes yes!” He blushed as he moved to the passenger seat and you drove the car to the Resident Services.

You had gone to work for the day.

[likesomekindofcheese]

Songbird of Jamestown Chapter Five

Pairing: Samuel Castell x fem! Reader

Word Count: 6898

Summary: You are among the English maids in 1619-1620 who have agreed to board ship for the new world in Jamestown, with the intention to marry the men there. You have chosen to find a husband and life of your own and pay back the company, than be pre bought and bound to a random stranger. Life is difficult and you and your friends struggle, but there is a certain recorder who’s willing to help. He’s kind-hearted and handsome ...and has already been pledged to another.

A/N: this chapter is shorter than I intended (I have other WIPS and requests that need attending and after debate, the ending to this chapter felt better for the development of the next one), but here we are! A very dramatic chapter that was both fun and painful to write. I hope you like it and please comment or share if you do!

Warnings: swearing, mentions of sex, angst, drama, Jocelyn being Jocelyn, scenes of vomiting, sickness.

Taglist: @bluesfortheredj​ (sempai) @yourlocalmusicalprostitute​ @theworksgaga​ @itscale​ @theoneandonlyeclecticepileptic​ @queenlover05​ @rubystarflight​ @themficsilike​ @namelesslosers​ @itsametaphorgwil​

“Come, all you very merry London Girls,

That are disposed to Travel,

Here is a Voyage now at hand,

Will save your feet from gravel.

If you have shooes, you need not fear

For wearing out the Leather,

For why you shall on shipboard go,

Like Loving Rogues Together, 

Some are already gone before,

The rest must after follow

Then come away and do not stay,

Your guide shall be Apollo!”

      - Lawrence Price, “The Maiden’s of London’s Brave Adventures”, 1623.

“Miss Y/L/N …”

You thought you heard his voice. 

“Oh Y/N, please…wake up, be strong again….”

You wanted to just croak out his name. Your lips parted, and a sound came out. It wasn’t his name. It was only a sound.

“Miss Y/L/N? Can you hear me? Take this!”

You could barely see him but a sudden taste that hit your tongue, full of bitterness. Then a drop of water that was brought to you. But no blots of color formed. No more signs of him. Only darkness.

Sometimes something like a nightmare came across your vision. You thought you saw something, but then it faded before it could devour you. Sometimes there were dreams, sometimes not.

Then another voice came up. It could have been an hour. It could have been a day. It wasn’t his voice, but a voice. A soft, lilting voice.

“Oh, dear Lord, please heal this lady. You know she is a dear, kind woman. No one has ever treated me as nicely here, other than my master and mistress of course. But she is a good friend. Your book even says a friend sticks closer than a brother. So, I must beg you, if it is in your will, to heal her from this dreaded and sudden illness. I would be most saddened if she were to die. You have placed me in her life, and unless You have planned so, please don’t take her away from it. Give her health again and wake her up, Amen.”

The words were flooding outside you when you woke up. You were lying on your bed, Mercy was right next to you. Her pale face and little brown head looked blurry, but you saw her turn her head at once.

She gave a grin and placed a hand over her heart, leaning to you.

“Oh, providence is kind! Miss Y/L/N!” she cried, getting up and then pausing. She knew you were too weak to embrace. She pulled herself back.

Your vision flooded back and you saw you were at home. You felt sticky and sweaty. Your bed was beneath you and you saw you only had your shift on.

“M…Mercy…what…what’s happening?” you croaked.

Your throat felt dry from the lack of use.

“You were found just outside, fainted!” she recalled.

“Did you find me?” you ask.

“Oh, it was the Tavern Keeper’s wife, the red haired woman…she was out walking in the dark to your home to see you, she said, when she heard your cries and came a runnin’. Found you right on the dirt, right out! She dragged you in here, ran, and fetched the doctor quick as she could, stayed up all night with you, she did!” she said, almost excitedly. Her eyes wide as if telling a story.

“Verity…oh, it was Verity! Mercy…am I dying…If I’m dying there’s someone…I need to…I need to speak to…” you said.

You knew the one thing you didn’t want to say had to be said to him if your time was running out.

“You’re only sick. That’s what the doctor says. But you might…I hope you won’t…” she said. Her eyes looked down and she frowned.

You reached out a hand and touched her cheek.

“Oh, mistress Mercy, I heard your prayer…and I’m so lucky to have you,” you comforted.

“I’ve prayed every hour I could…my master was with the doctor when Verity was running, so he and my mistress even prayed with me for you in this room for an hour today. I think all of our prayers worked. It was my Master who even got you to your bed the other night, but he insisted on leaving outside when you got changed to your shift, ‘cause you know, you were asleep but it still wasn’t polite, he said!”

You felt your lip bite and a small laugh escape.

“Why, Miss Y/L/N, colors coming to your cheeks, even! You’re getting healthy, I know it!” she cheered.

“How long was I asleep?” you interrupt, a little embarrassed.

“About a day.”

Your head hurt and you were dizzy. You groaned from the pain and Mercy fetched a cool cloth from a bucket. You nodded as thanks.

“Mercy…what did the doctor say about me? What do I have?” you ask.

Your memory was coming back. And you had a dreaded feeling you knew exactly what happened to you.

But…it couldn’t be, could it?

“He says you’re only sick and that’s that. He did get you to swallow some medicine and he says you need more…which…oh dear! I forgot! Now you’re awake! I have to get him! Excuse me, m’am...”

She gave a curtsy and off she went like a squirrel to a tree. Your dizziness came in and out. You found your arms, while shaky, could pull yourself up. Your stomach felt like it had a stone in it. Even the sight of your food in the corner made it turn and you felt the threat of vomit rise in you.

A little later, a man entered with Mercy trailing behind him. He was of average height, with dark hair that curled yet was brushed back. His face had hints of scruff with a pale, square head and a sunny smile.

“Hello, miss. Doctor Priestly at your service,” he greeted.

He even bobbed his head as if you were a lady. If it weren’t for your weakness, you would have bobbed your head for a curtsy as well.

“See, doctor! My prayers have worked! I did have faith enough!” Mercy cheered excitedly.

She grabbed your hand to help you get up to sitting on your bed upright.

“It seems your faith and my medicine are a powerful team, Mercy. Go find your mistress and let her know at once that Miss Y/L/N is awake. She’ll want to know how her servant is, she’s been very fretful for two days for her.”

Mercy once again scooped her red skirt into her tiny hands and ran out the door. He pulled out a vial from his bag, poured some clear liquid onto a spoon, and fed it to you. It tasted disgusting as overcooked cabbage, but you made yourself swallow it. It was the same bitter aftertaste as the drink you were fed while slightly conscious.

“Here, two days of rest and this medicine and you will be fine,” he assured you.

What happened couldn’t be true, it was too insane to be true. You shouldn’t be in this predicament at all. Or were you? There was one way to find out.

“Doctor Priestly…what’s wrong with me, what am I sick with?”

“I’ve not told a soul about your condition… for Mercy’s sake.”

“Mercy?” you asked. “What’s she have to do with it?”

“I remember when she arrived here. She was an orphan boarded from England sent here to work and make a life for herself. Poor thing had more than one master beat her senseless when she was small. I couldn’t afford her, so Castell took pity on her and placed her under his wing for her protection. He’s almost like her father in an odd way, but he’s still her employer. But that is her life, no family and only drudgery. “

He wiped his mouth with his sleeve and blinked a lot, coming back to the present.

“She has a tender heart and it takes very little to vex her. I saw how fond she was of you, so I wanted to rest aside her fears. If I told Castell, he might tell her just to give her an answer. But you and your mistress at least deserve to know the truth.”

He pulled a chair from the table next to you and spoke in a low voice.

“You had the symptoms of poisoning from the belladonna plant.”

“No…but…I…I just can’t…I was poisoned,” you said, finally accepting your dreaded suspicion.

“And I also noticed...I had kept some for medical and research reasons, and the vial was gone. So, whoever took it must have targeted you. They wanted to harm you. You had a water jug that was laced with it. Luckily, you only had a little bit. If you drank a larger dose or didn’t take this medicine in time, you would have been dead.”

“Someone stole your belladonna?” you ask.

Your eyebrows furrow and you look directly at him. Your hands fold neatly at your blanket.

“Oh, I hope you forgive me, Miss Y/L/N…I should have watched it more carefully.” He begged, he turned his head down.

“It’s…alright, Dr. Priestly. I forgive you. It wasn’t your fault it was stolen” you say.

You move your hands in front to tell him to calm down and he smiles in response. He’s not entirely unfortunate looking and you feel yourself smile back.

“Have some water, you’ve been without food or drink for over a day” he suggested, getting a tin cup.

You drank it up greedily. Sighing and wiping off your mouth, you look back at him, softened.

“I would prefer to keep this low. Only your mistress and you. News of poisoning would bring fear, someone innocent might go to jail if accused falsely,” he explained.

You at once felt your stomach turn. The bile was coming back up.

“A…a jug, anything, I’m going to…” you mumbled.

He handed you a clay pot and you felt the disgusting feeling of vomit rise out of you and the repulsive smell of it. You put a hand over your mouth defensively as he put away the pot.

“You are just weak, Miss Y/L/N. Just keeping drinking water and taking the medicine. You will be a little weak, but fine,” he assured.

Not long after there was a knock on the front door and Doctor Priestly sprung up and greeted with the largest smile you had seen on him yet.

You saw the pale blue cloak of Jocelyn walk before you and fold open the hood. Her golden curls were tied back with a ribbon just loosely. Your breathing got shallower and your nostrils flared remembering the day on the ship.

Sure, I can’t let my hair down, but you can. Not a lady anymore, eh? You just proved that, you thought angrily.

“Oh, Doctor Priestly, Oh, I am so glad. Poor girl! How is she?” she asked demurely.

“She’s weak, but after one day of rest and taking this medicine, she’ll be bright and bonny as ever. I have to tell you Jocelyn…” giving a glace at you, he led her just outside the door to speak with her explaining why you were sick.

Waiting for a while, you kept squeezing your own hands. You felt your heart beating in your ears. After a few minute, you saw Jocelyn open the door again, continuing the conversation.

“Doctor Priestly, may I nurse her, myself? I wish to make amends- it was my own jug and I lost watch of it!” she offered warmly.

There was a crinkle beneath the doctor’s eyes as she spoke and he leaned a little closer.

“What a tender heart you have, I’ll leave you with her. Bring me back if there is any sign of trouble. Here is the medicine, I’ll go on and make another, farewell!” he wished, handing her the bottle.

With a slight hop in his step, he left.

Jocelyn took a few minutes to be quiet. As she walked up you pulled yourself back, defensively. She held out the medicine poured out a spoonful, offering it to you.

You hesitated, staring. She could have done something with it too. But you accepted it and led the spoon with your hand to your mouth.

 After a few spoonful’s, the concerned look on her face dropped looking down on you. She looked at the window, checking, and then returned. You tried to glare up with what strength you had.

“Jocelyn. Who poisoned me?” you ask flatly. You folded your arms.

 “You know what you did,” she spat out.

“No, I don’t!”

 “You should have drank all of it.”

 “Jocelyn, why? I have done everything for you! I have cleaned your clothes and room, fixed your gowns, made your breakfasts and even emptied your damned chamber pot! I have asked for nothing but my pay. You forced me to agree to do it in front of Lady Yeardley.  And this is how you repay me? You try to kill me?” you questioned angrily.

She was quiet.

“I’ll report you to the Governor. Right. Now.” you threaten. You swing your legs over and get on the floor.

You only took two steps on weak legs when she put a hand before you, and then caught you before you could fell. But as you were crumpled, she led you back to the bed. She bent down to look you in the eye.

“It would be worthless to speak to him. Look at you and look at me. I’ve dined with him countless times. He’s going to be the groomsman at my wedding. Who is he more likely to believe? A lying, thieving, whoring maid or a lady?”

 She got back up but folded her hands in front of you. Her eyes were low, her round, pale face still, and her pink lips tight.

 “Jocelyn…you still haven’t answered my question. Why did you do it?” you interrogated.

“Because you’re destroying me. And you’re destroying this colony.”

“You’re the one who almost killed me! What on earth did I do?”

“Since you’re a fool, let me tell you. You’re a whore,” she accused. Her face was still but her low voice was biting.

“Do you mean…with…with your fiancée?”

There is fire in her eyes.

“Anytime I was with him, I promise you, nothing happened. He never said or did anything to me.  He’s a gentleman; he keeps his distance. He is doesn’t love me, he loves you. Jocelyn be reasonable! Mercy says you’re the great beauty of the colony. How could he show any interest in anyone else with you as his intended!?” you begged.

“Your flattery means nothing to me” she cursed bitterly.

From her cloak, she pulled out your copy of Ovid’s The Metamorphoses.

“If you have not seduced him, explain this!” she accused.

 “He asked and I just let him borro-“

 She slammed the book into your bed and turned to the very end, where there were a few extra blank pages. Or were. Words were scribbled all over them. You jumped and your legs stung from the force of the book’s weight.

 A pink primrose exactly like the ones on your window was pressed into it.

“Read it” Jocelyn demanded.

You felt your dizziness return and your stomach hurt again. You pushed it away. You were shaking your head. This had to be a dream, this had to be a dream.

“And know this, before you claim it false,” she added.

From her stays, she got out a folded page of paper which listed the business of the Governors meeting last week.

Glancing at what was written in the book and the record, it was exactly the same.

You pulled the book close to you and almost felt your hands and arms shake as you tried to keep it up, pulling to your face. You wanted to be sure every word you saw was real.

It read:

“My darling, my little nightingale, Y/N Y/L/N,

With your consent, I must take a moment to confess to you the feelings I have been suppressing for some time. Please do not be afraid of me.

I love you. I adore you with every inch of my soul. I have never known any woman quite like you. I knew you were different from anyone else from that first day of your arrival, though I wasn’t sure how. Then I knew. You were someone I could talk to. The more I looked at you, the more I couldn’t help myself. You are one of the loveliest maidens I have ever seen. When I think of you in that flower field, how ardently I wanted to kiss you that moment, with the sun shining, the flowers around you, and your sweet smile. I’ve never felt such tenderness and wanting inside me before. I admire every bit of you, my dear friend. You are the kindest, sweetest soul I have ever met. And your courage exceeds that of many men I have known. I still remember the day you spoke with Mr. Sharrow on behalf of Miss Kett and I am still in awe such an action even happened.

I make every excuse just to walk by our colonies walls just to hear you, to see you walk by, just to glance at you. The way you shone when I taught you how to write words, shone with pure joy. Your laughter and singing! Your voice haunts me, haunts my dreams, and my day and I hear it at once with both ecstasy and torment, for I know such tender words, laughter, songs and that joy of your hand’s devotion is a gift, a gift that cannot be for me, but the happiest and most fortunate of gentlemen you choose to wed. How I envy him and hate him, whoever he may be here! I am so ashamed to admit it, but it is truth.

I have given Jocelyn a promise. A promise I must keep, as being the purpose of her journey. Yet each time I think of the day we will be joined, inside I mourn so deeply. This is the reason why I delayed the wedding. I made a pitiful, unmanly excuse about business because you were always in my thoughts. I will never have the privilege of your courtship and time. I must be bound until death to another, upon an agreement of payment I have made long ago. Though I must complete my duty in humility and obedience, know that I wish every morning I awake that it was your beautiful face I saw.

Jocelyn does not deserve to have her heart broken and her future destroyed. Can you have it in your heart to pity me? To pity her, most of all. It is Jocelyn I must marry, no matter what I may feel about you How could I be so cruel to such a good, honest woman who came here for this one sole purpose?

I do not know if you even tolerate me. If you despise the air I breathe, then I swear I will never bother you again. But now, I ask you pray for me, pray for us.

But know that though such affections I possess can never be acted on, that if you are ever in dire need of assistance, I will help you. Even if you cannot have my hand, you have the protection of anything I have and my actions. If you are ever in need, or your husband, most fortunate of men, or your children even, I will find a way to help you.

For I and my heart shall always be dedicated to you. I love you so tenderly and know that you will always be my dearest and saddest love.

Written by him, who is your humblest of servants

SC”

A shaky smile appeared on your face, though your stomach kept dropping throughout reading. A small laugh, stifled, came out of you, defiantly. Disorientation washed over you and it was as if your vision blurred for a moment.

“I must confess, I’m almost impressed. There’s a power between our legs, and at least you’ve learned to use it,” Jocelyn said.

Setting the book down, almost not daring to read it again, you stared into the open for a bit, but you heard Jocelyn continuing.

“You cast a spell over him. And it’s began ever since he kept speaking with you. So, tell me, they call you the Songbird of Jamestown, yes?”

Blinking, you looked back at her, voicing a shaky “wh-what?”

She walked over and grabbed your face, pinching at the mouth. Her face got into yours and you could feel the hot breath come out of her.

“Did those musical little lips suck his cock and is that why he does everything you insist?” she hissed.

“H-H-How d-dare you speak such…such lewd things!” you retorted, jerking away, nearly slapping her hand out.

You nursed the spot on your jaw tenderly. You turned away and saw the book. While Jocelyn was distracted you hid it under your blankets.

“Jocelyn, he’s going to marry you, whatever he may think of me. Don’t you see what it’s really saying? He’s letting me go. You’ve won.” You reasoned.

“You may think so. But now he hardly listens to me. He doesn’t do anything I ask him to. No matter what I try. And it’s began since your little romp in the flowers. If you are here, you are a threat to me and my marriage.” She said.

“What are you asking him to do?” you ask.

You noticed how high your shoulders had gotten to your ears and forced them down.

She paused, folding her hands in front of her.

“You don’t understand, Y/N. I’m going to lead him to greatness, for us. For the colony. Wouldn’t you like things to change? Wouldn’t things be better if Samuel was in charge? Not Farlow or Redwick or Massenger?” she interrogated.

“What’s wrong with Yeardley? And how do you plan on getting it, though? And I…I don’t think you understand, people die playing these games. Do you want to die? Do want Samuel to die?” you ask.

“Oh, Samuel.” She prodded. “Not Master Castell anymore? That’s a little more intimate, aren’t we? Do you love him?”

You froze.

“I know you’re a terrible liar. And I know what they do to liars here when they’re caught.” She added.

She kept her close distance but remained standing. Her eyes stared right into you, though your head dipped down low and you buried your face in your hands.

“Do. You. Love. him?”

Tears stained your eyes. That feeling, burning and bubbling in the depths of you was suddenly coming out. No matter how much you tried to deny it or ignore it for the greater good, for even your own safety, it was still singing, screaming in the back. Now it was getting louder, and louder.

“I…I think I do. I…I wish he…if only he was just a farmer, not the recorder, just so I could be with him!” you confessed.

Breathing in deep, you felt a weight had been freed from you. There was a silence, heavy with what she would say next.

“Then understand you are what is holding him back. That’s what love is. It holds us back. I’m going to bring him to greatness. I’m going to make him have things beyond even his own understanding. He could be a farmer. Or he could change everything and bring those men down and set things right here.” She explained, towering over you.

“By controlling him? Making him do things he doesn’t want to? Dangerous things?” you blurted.

“That’s how men work. And this place is ruled by them. We have to control them if we’re going to survive here as women.”

“But a harmless soul as his? Control Farlow, all you would like, Massanger, or Redwick, but…Samuel? He wants nothing of treachery, why make him treacherous?”

“That’s your weakness. You’re still clinging to love, thinking that’s what’s going to save you. I was like you once. I was proven wrong. Love doesn’t save you. It destroys you. And the sooner you let it go, the better you will be. I hope you’ve figured that out. You’re leaving here.” She scolded.

“To England? The company will send me back. They need to pay back the tobacco pounds on all of us.”

She then reached in her pocket and pulled out some letters.

“You know of the communities right outside here? I’ve written to the men of Charles City. Any women who isn’t immediately bound in marriage must go there. And there are at least three men over there are curious about you to be their wife.”

Not too far for the company but far enough you thought.

You barely glanced over it. It listed names, possessions, their house, and what they planted. One name, only one name. One name that would stand out. One name to stamp out Samuel’s. But none could. None of them had the name of the one you knew you wanted.

And who knew who these men actually were like? If you were lucky, they would be loving.

But at worst, you could be bound to another Henry Sharrow. You fought the urge to vomit again.

“Tomorrow, you will gather your things. Leave this town. Pick one. Marry him. And stay there.” Jocelyn demanded.

“I won’t. I won’t do it,” you voiced.

Jocelyn walked up and hissed at you softly.

“If you don’t, you are dead.”

“You couldn’t do that.”

“I almost succeeded. I have resources, don’t think I couldn’t.”

Your breath left you and you released a small cry of fear, your limbs nearly froze.

With all the bitterness and anger you had forced silent inside your soul for weeks, you looked Jocelyn in the eye and spat out “bitch.”

It wasn’t kind. It wasn’t polite. It wasn’t dignified. It was not even mature. But it felt good.

“Never heard that one before,” she remarked sarcastically.

You turned around and, though still shaking, you got up on your feet. Jocelyn didn’t raise an eyebrow.

“Good day, Miss Y/L/N. And a blessing upon your marriage,” she finished with a smile.

You were determined not to be sent off without the last word. Now you had something. It wasn’t safe to say it, but if you were blessed to never see Jocelyn again, you might as well say it when you had the chance.

Tugging nervously on your shift you said “this isn’t the first time you’ve poisoned someone, Jocelyn.”

She froze and glared back at you, she took a few steps, threatening to charge at you like a predator.

“You little, sneaking slut!”

“And how is being a sneaking slut any better than being a liar and a murderer?” you snapped.

Jocelyn froze in her track, but continued her fiery glare into your eyes.

“Tell me, when a man makes a bet that he can take your virginity among his friends, takes it as they watch, and he wins, how much will you believe in love, then? How can you even trust men’s souls, then?” she croaked, now tears were barely going down her cheeks.

 “It’s not men’s souls, Jocelyn. It’s what they’ve done. You’ve been hurt so you shut yourself off to keep yourself safe. And now that you have refused love, you’ve even refused the love that makes you care for others. All you can do is hurt others.”

You swallowed, got up from your bed, stood up quickly while you had the strength, and interrupted before Jocelyn could interject.

 “You cannot love, you can’t love people or least of all yourself. That’s only because you have been betrayed. You’ve been hurt. But you could have used that pain to help others. Have you talked to Alice about what Henry did to her? Or Verity? You could have helped them. But you have let your pain make you harsh to underserving people. Good people. Samuel. Mercy, even, and she’s a child with nothing!”

You took two steps closer to her.

“But…you cannot help, truly, genuinely help. Only reward people you think you trust. That’s because all you know to do is hurt. For that, you will never know peace or contentment, and you have more than my disgust, you have my pity.”

   She marches up to you and grabs you by the hair, growling into your ear “leave by tomorrow, or you’re dead.”

  She then brushed any dirt or wrinkles off her dress, set her hat back up on her head, and walked out.

  Alone, you collapsed on the bed. You were done with being brave. You were done with being strong. You wanted to be weak. You let yourself sob and sob.

You look barely at the letters of these suitors you have never even heard of, asking you for your soul, body, mind, possessions, and even possible children to be owned by them until death take one of you.

“The time’s gonna come fer yer freedom and maidenhead whether ya ready fer it or not!”

Then you look at Samuel’s letter in your book, you press it to your heart, and let your cries continue and continue, gingerly touching the petals of the pink primrose and even noticing the fresh bunch at your window.

So it…it wasn’t James at all! How could I be so stupid, I’m an idiot…

 Could Jocelyn really kill you? How? The possibilities kept running through your head.

You had no idea how much money she brought with her but maybe she could hire someone to do it.

Or she probably already planted one of her possessions in your home. If someone noticed it, they could accuse you of stealing, go to Jocelyn, who’d give her testimony that you stole, give your truth and let it fall on deaf ears and then you would have to make the fatal walk outside the colony walls to the gallows.

She already fooled you into being poisoned. She could find a way to take and poison your food. Had she even poisoned the food you had when you weren’t looking.

And you didn’t know about how your physical strength could hold up.  Jocelyn was slender and knew nothing of tasks requiring physical extremes. But that didn’t mean if she got possession of a gun or knife she wouldn’t be able to attack you.

Being at the wrong place at the wrong time could put you at risk. Perhaps she would drown you in the river if you went to do your laundry.

If she got that book and letter back, she could bring it to the court, make accusations of adultery, and get you hanged.

Finally, after a while, Christopher returned with Mercy trailing behind him.

“Mercy…how kind you are…and Christopher…”

“I asked my Master if I could make this broth for you, and he agreed. He has a kind heart, he does!” she chatted, handing you a cup.

You swallowed it gratefully, smiling at how for once your stomach did not reject it.

“He…yes, he does,” you answered. “Speaking of which…where…where is he?”

“There’s a large trial and many things he must record. He has a busy workday but sends his prayers to you. Now, take twice the dose, Miss. You will be a little weak today, but you should be fine. I insisted the church forgive your absences these next two days so you could recover. You’ll be strong by the day after tomorrow.” Doctor Priestly said.

He brought another batch of the medicine and handed it to you in a small vial with two spoons.

You swallowed the two spoonful’s and kept it down best you could.

“I saw Mistress Woodbyrg come in after a while. Even when she chided me, I thought it a blessing, the bit time I was there.” Mercy reported, folding her hands in front of her.

You only stared onto your blanket, right down.

Oh, dear Mercy, you don’t know the half of it and for your happiness I hope you never do!

“Oh, you are so lucky to already be working for her. There is never a lovelier lady! Although, she’s been quite troubled lately. Oh, she frowned so when I worked for her and it vexed me so much! But I’ve been praying every hour for her, when I could” Mercy chattered, she even folded her hands together and brought it up to her chin dreamily.

You were quiet for a moment. Mercy worshipped the ground Jocelyn walked on. She was someone perhaps the child wanted to be. But… should she have such a rosy view shattered? Jocelyn seemed to give her meaning and joy in her life. There was a fairy tale princess under her roof, no matter what that princess said or did.

“Mercy…tell Master Castell…thank you, for allowing you to make this broth and…Mercy, may I please have a bit of parchment, please? And something to write with? There’s…a quill and ink on the table.”

“How come, Miss?”

“I’ve…uhm…been practicing writing.”

“My, what a good skill! How lucky you are to be learning it, how clever you must be oh…”

There was a weight that you felt dragging you down, and the child took note.

“Why, what is it, Miss Y/L/N?”

“I…I just need to try to write. I can’t be idle even when sick…”

“Why, why yes indeed! As Psalms and Captain Smith do say, one must wake up and be industrious, it’s how we can praise the Lord himself. But…I am so glad you are well.

Doctor Priestly stood by in the corner, smiling at the sweet words said and observing quietly. Mercy handed you the quill and ink and then knelt by your bedside.

“I really am. I never had many friends. Mere few. And a lot of them died. And my master is gentle but…we can’t be friends. He gives me me earnings and that’s that. So…I’m just so thankful,” she said softly.

“I’m thankful to be your friend too, Mercy.”

She looked up at the smiling doctor, who gestured for her to come, and she left accompanied by him.

You stared at the parchment and backed it against your book. Your brain was brimming with words. Words that would have explained everything. Most of all, why. But your hand only knew how to write a few.

You wanted to see him. You wanted to get out of your bed and crawl through the muddy streets to wherever he was and collapse onto him.

But anger overtook you. It was his own letter that probably confirmed Jocelyn’s suspicions and put you in danger in the first place!

You wanted to even yell at him, to take that mud and throw it to smear his lovely face. To take that stick from that day by the river and beat him with it with all of your strength. All for the trouble this lovely letter put you through. If this was a plot and he was working with Jocelyn, then he had betrayed your trust and put you in great danger.

And if it wasn’t. Jocelyn proved it was his handwriting, after all. Or at least, it was not a forgery. He could have lied through this letter from Jocelyn’s or even someone else’s doing to get you out of your discouragement of him being too deeply involved in the intrigue.

But…you brain interrupted as you lifted the quill, hands shaking…what if it was?

If it wasn’t. If he meant every word of that letter, it meant…it meant that he really did see you. You. Humble little you. With ninety women that had just arrived, and he wanted! If nothing stood in his way, the gentlest, sweetest man in all of the colony, if not, even in all of England’s far kingdom or the world perhaps loved you.

But there was one thing in the way. And it was your life.

You wished desperately it was a letter with false intentions instead.

You dipped the quill into the ink as it sat gently on your bed and scribbled out seven words.

“Goodbye. I will miss you- Y/N Y/L/N.”

Not painless. But quick and to the point. It dried in a few minutes, the dark purple ink turning into the color of violets. The scrap was hidden in the book. You put it next to the pansy.

You barely slept that night and spent it packing or pacing.

Doctor Priestly arrived the next day with new medicine. But the doctor noticed the packed bag resting on the table.

“Are you alright, Y/N? You’ve lost so much of your color, even after the medicine” he asked.

“I’m…I’m just sad. I’m leaving. I haven’t been married yet and the company’s insisting I leave to fix that. I have a few marriages offers from Charles City. I have friends here, though. I will miss everyone,” you said.

You handed him the papers and letter from the men and the doctor nodded in understanding.

It wasn’t a lie, but some details perhaps he could not be trusted with yet.

“I’ve heard good things about you, Miss Y/L/N, our dear songbird. We will all miss you too,” he answered, giving you a last spoonful of medicine.

After he left, Mercy returned with one last cup of broth.

“I always insist a cup after will do good!” she chirruped.

“Mercy…I’m going to leave today.”

“Why?”

“To…to get married, please send this to your master.” You said, holding out the scrap.

“Shouldn’t I fetch ‘im, so you can tell him instead?”

“No! I mean…don’t trouble him when he has so much work. I just wanted to say goodbye to him, for…for helping me and Alice. He greeted me and was kind to me.” you explained quickly, though you felt yourself biting your lip.

Mercy nodded and left quietly, looking at the note with big, confused eyes. You saw a shininess that would bring on tears and she even put her hand over her mouth.

“Oh, Mercy!” you exclaimed, a sudden wave hitting you.

You ran up and hugged her.

“Oh…Miss…Miss!” she cried, letting herself sob too.

You bit back your tears and whispered to her.

“Listen to me, never let anyone treat you poorly. Don’t be like me. I’m a coward. Be brave. Fight back with all your strength and…please promise me you’ll do whatever it takes, be happy and safe…” you instructed.

Mercy blinked, in more confusion, and then hugged back.

“I…I will miss” she blubbered. She let go and gave you a sad smile and then left.

Your bags only had what was essential to travel and then some. Your books, your clothes, and your lace gloves, the only luxury the company promised you. And the only luxury it delivered. You even got bits of food, who knew how long the journey would last, the quicker you would leave, the better.

And even if Jocelyn had poisoned them when you weren’t looking, you decided it didn’t matter anyway.

You dressed plainly. Looking at your reflection in the window, you did look like you lost your color. Your cheeks had hollowed some. Your eyes had darkened underneath. It was as if you were now a ghost of whoever you were when you entered this house.

Walking outside, you took the last of the wilted primroses and put it into your apron pocket.

You walked past the people going about. Past the church, past the tavern, past James beating into a new piece of metal with a loud CLANG, and past the smelly dogs and hogs running through the street freely and housewives adorned in aprons all looking for corn in the market that could be bought today, past the muddy areas you had to hop over, past the nice red doors where men in ruffs and fine cloaks discussed power with soft voices, and towards that opening and the ocean of green before it.

As you neared the entrance, you could make out a cart just near where the graves were marked. It almost seemed as if it planted among the crop of little wooden crosses. It was led by it seemed a brown horse and another man, he was tan, short, stout, and had dark hair and a dark beard with grey streaks. He wore a straw hat and seemed to be chewing on something. He stared out into the open of the green field and the trees just beyond. But he was smiling, and his eyes were beaming like stars.

Though Jocelyn covered your leave, he did not seem the type to be a hired assassin. It was the cart. Breathing in deeply, you took a few steps to get on that cart that would take you to your new life to forget all of this.

“Miss Y/L/N…”

Your breath stopped and you paused. Continuing it, you decided you would not speak to him turned away. You turned your head and looked at him. The one voice you did not want to hear at this time. But you knew you had to. You couldn’t just leave him with just a scrap of paper, as much as you had denied it.

Blinking away any more tears that may have popped up, you turned around to face him. At least one final time before your new life awaited.

[thatmultifandomhoe]

“Dear Diary...”

Word Count: 1,341

Pairing: Namjoon and Reader

Genre: Fluff, College AU, Soul Mate AU, mentions of drinking night prior.

Requested

Master List

Drabble Challenge Prompt #11: “Dear Diary...”

©thatmultifandomhoe 2019. Do not repost, translate, or use my stories without permission.

When he opened his eyes, for a moment, Namjoon was completely confused. He didn’t recognize where he was, or have much of a memory regarding last night. With a low groan, he slowly pushed himself up on to his elbows, pausing as the world suddenly tilted on him.

It was a familiar sensation, and as he leaned his head back against the pillow to take a deep breath, he suddenly understood why his memory was foggy. He had been drinking, a lot. Usually he was able to hold his own, but he must have gone further that he thought.

As the world righted itself, he blinked his eyes open again, this time settling on looking around without moving his body too much. He was sleeping in an unfamiliar bed, the green comforter that wrapped around his waist had a floral scent to it that was, to him, surprisingly pleasing. Usually he disliked women’s perfume for the fact that the women he knew, tended to smell like they bathed in it. This however…it lingered enough to make him interested. If he wasn’t afraid that the world would flip at any movement, he would have buried his way back under the blankets so he would be engulfed in it.

He raised an eyebrow upon seeing himself shirtless when he looked down. A quick touch of his neck reassured him that the silver necklace he wore was still there. He didn’t remember taking off his clothing last night. Where it was, he had no idea.

Shaking his head, he was relieved that the world didn’t move on him, so he carefully stretched his legs out, feeling the blankets move along his bare thighs. Alright, he was also missing his pants, but he could still feel his boxers, so that was a positive.

His leg brushed up against soft skin, halting his movements and his thought process when a muffled groan came from beside him.

“What the hell?” Namjoon muttered.

Pushing back up on his elbow, he leaned over and gently pulled down the comforter, revealing a body that was turned on their side and buried under the blankets. He raised an eyebrow, and when the person shifted, he felt his heart race upon seeing your breasts, your arm no longer covering yourself.

It explained the perfume and the feminine room he was in, but it didn’t explain how he got here.

“Hey,” Namjoon softly called out, gently touching your shoulder to wake you up. He wasn’t sure how hungover you were, or if you remembered anything either, so he wanted to tread carefully.

You shook your head though, body shivering now that the blanket wasn’t covering you. Your arm stretched out in front of you and when it landed on just the bed itself, you rolled over and curled into Namjoon’s side, instantly relaxing once you were against him.

He inhaled sharply as your new position not only allowed him to see more of your body, but because as soon as you curled into him there was a zap of electricity, and a sudden sense of belonging. How that was possible, he had no idea. Especially since he couldn’t recall you from his memories either.

But as he stared down at you, his gaze softened as your body continued to gently rise and fall in your sleep, your breath tickling his chest and making him smile.

This wasn’t his first-time drinking, and he personally knew that being harshly woken up was the last thing anyone would want, so against his better judgement, he relaxed against the pillows once more and wrapped his arm around you. You immediately curled even further against him, your bare leg sliding over his as your arm wrapped around his waist, fingers skimming his torso, just missing the tattoo on his left side.

Namjoon wanted to moan when he felt your soft skin. It was like silk and he longed to be able to trace shapes into your skin all day long. Like it had a mind of its own, his thumb brushed along your ribcage. The second he did that, a shock traveled through both your bodies, surprising him and waking you up with a gasp.

“What the hell?” You breathed out, still curled into Namjoon, but blinking up at him in confusion.

“I…I’m sorry.” He rushed out. He had been unable to see your face because your hair had been covering it, but now that he could, he forgot how to breathe as he stared into your eyes. He had thought the world had righted itself because he wasn’t drunk anymore, but as soon as he met your gaze, that was when the world clicked into place.

He had heard of things like this, the electricity, the sense of belonging…but it only happened when people found their soul mates.

Considering how you had been woken up, your mind was still a little fuzzy, and your mouth felt like you had spent the night eating cotton balls. “You…you touched my…my soul…” You waved your hand as if telling him to connect the dots, mouth too dry for you to form a clear sentence.

“Soul mate mark,” Namjoon finished for you. When you nodded, he leaned over you to see what exactly you had.

Unlike Namjoon, despite all that you drank, you remembered the night before, so when he moved to see your mark, you shifted so that he had a clear view of it.

On your ribcage, in delicate script were the words, “Dear Diary…”

He gasped, his fingers tracing the shapes of each letter, feeling you shiver the entire time until he finished. It was real and forever marked on your skin, and it looked exactly like the one he had on his ribcage that had suddenly appeared one day out of the blue.

There was another zap and when he looked down, he saw that you were now resting your head on his stomach, lazily tracing the letters of his own soul mate mark.

“Of all things, you got dear diary tattooed on our bodies?” He finally asked.

Smiling, you rolled onto your stomach when he completely laid down on the pillows, his arms wrapping around your back to hold you tightly against him. He loved the way you felt against his body and as he pulled the comforter up to your shoulders, Namjoon decided that he could spend the entire day like this and be more than happy.

“It was something I used to do all the time,” you answered, spotting a water glass on your desk next to the bed. Thank God you knew how you could get when drinking so you always prepared for the next morning before leaving for a party.

Namjoon followed your gaze and almost groaned in relief at spotting the water. Reaching over, he carefully held it for you, encouraging you to drink first. His throat wasn’t killing him so much.

After a few sips, you handed it back to him, watching the way his Adam’s apple bobbed with each drink. “How much do you remember?”

“Not as much as you apparently,” he answered with a soft grin, setting the glass down with a light thump. When his arm wrapped back around you again, his hand was cold. “Care to tell me how I ended up in your bed?”

You smiled up at him, relaxing when it didn’t appear that he was upset at not remembering how he met his soul mate. Or that you were his soul mate. “You were sitting outside by yourself,” you softly explained. “Drinking a mixed Malibu, and staring up at the stars and moon. I thought it was kinda strange that you weren’t with anyone else, so I joined you…”

As you spoke, he began to recall the night before, remembering flashes and scenes of the night. He didn’t tell you that. He was content with hearing your voice, softly smiling and stroking your bare back as you recounted your first meeting.

He had found you, and frankly, that was all he cared about.

[deakyrog]

Karaoke

John Deacon x Reader 

Summary: You and John decide on an unusual date night out, which turns into basically one big tease fest as you both serenade each other with some fitting song choices.

Warnings: Swearing and Smut (18+ yanno the drill)

A/N: uh yeah I got bored and really felt...a lot lately so yanno, enjoy! Let me know if y’all liked it because I have so many more ideas

Word Count: 6.6K

"Karaoke?” he inquired over the phone line, wanting to be sure he heard you correctly. You nodded, but remembered you were speaking over the phone and he couldn’t see you, you just giggled loudly and bit your lip.

“Uh-huh!” you squeaked in response, unable to contain your excitement.  

“But..why?” John asked again and you rolled your eyes in annoyance.

“Beecaaaause!” you giggled into the phone. “You said you wanted to see what I like to do on the weekend nights when I’m not with you, and this is what I like to do with friends. Besides, you said I could plan because you don’t get home until Friday and wouldn’t have time.” you stated as a matter of fact and you heard him sigh on the other end, accepting his fate.

“Darling, are you sure that’s how you want to spend our Friday night?”

“Absolutely positive, more than positive!” you cheered enthusiastically. “Bar food, and singing to my incredibly handsome date? What more could I ask for?” you heard John chuckle on the other line and you smiled wide. “I’m sure there will be something played or available from your time.” you teased and bit the inside of your cheek waiting for an answer, you knew you were possibly in trouble with that one.

“Oh I’ll show you my time when I get back pet.” he mentioned lustfully and just his tone sent shivers down your spine. “But for now, I must go. I’ll see you Friday night darling.”

“See you Friday, stay safe.” you told him before you hung up the phone and smiled to yourself in victory.

You’ve known John for almost 2 years. You first met him when you were 22 and he was 46, you and his son ended up in the same photography program at university, and ended up being partners with him on some semester projects. Through that, that meant a lot of late night brainstorming sessions at his house, which is how you and John were introduced. When you first met John, you both felt the attraction instantly, but you both did everything you could to ignore it, for the sake of the relationship of your project partner and your sanity. But, throughout your college career, you and John managed to stay in contact and you two seemingly couldn’t avoid running into another. Be it the grocery store, coffee shop or when he would casually show up at the retail store you worked at, the force pulling you two together was unavoidable. So once you graduated two years later, the two of you decided to give things a go. You never officially put a label on what you guys were, hardly ever using the terms “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” because not only did it feel juvenile, it didn’t properly describe your relationship. In the six months you’ve been together, John has gotten to know you mind, soul and body. Especially your body. The sex between you two was a force to be reckoned with. John was an expert in the bedding department, using his much expertise on you. He could ravish you, and make you on the verge of an orgasm based on his words alone. You ate it up, he could make the sweetest love to you, or he could fuck you in the filthiest way, sometimes in the same night. He has made you see stars for days on end, and scream to the heavens, and he loved having that kind of power over you. He had you heart and body, and that’s why you loved being with him, despite the twenty year age gap. You connected with him in a way you haven’t before with anyone.

You two rarely went on a casual date like karaoke nights. It was always a fancy dinner out, or something nice prepared at his place (courtesy of his cooking), or the few times he came over to your flat when your roommate was out of town or away for the night. You and John didn’t hide your relationship, but something you two had in common was you liked private and wanted to keep your dates more to yourselves which in turn made them more intimate, but you also didn’t mind something more fun and casual, which is why you were excited for this. It was a change in the routine, and you couldn’t wait to see things shaken up. You wanted to have some fun with him, to tease and play with him in a more public setting than what you were used too, you wanted to see how far you could go, and singing a song straight to him was the perfect way to get him going.  

Friday had come as quick as you had hoped. You hadn’t seen John since he left last week, and you were absolutely aching to see him, to touch him. You were meeting him at the bar at 8, so you could take your time. You had decided to dress casually, opting to toss your hair in a high ponytail and throw on a pair of short denim shorts (a pair you know John would go absolutely mad for) and one of his t-shirts he lent to you one time and you casually added to your personal collection. You had a feeling you wouldn’t be returning home that evening, so you threw some makeup in your purse, knowing you had clothes already at John’s place.

You touched your lipstick up in the bathroom and puckered your lips at yourself in the mirror. “Perfect.” you audibly said and smirked. You took one last look at yourself in the mirror and, being proud of your work, threw on some perfume that John had claimed to be his favorite, and eagerly headed out the door. Your previously hailed cab had arrived (you didn’t take a car knowing who would be your driver that evening) and told the driver where to head. You noticed on the radio clock that the time read half past 7, so you nodded your head knowing you would be early. You got past the bouncer, knowing him from your many college nights spent there, and you sat at the bar and ordered a hard cider from the tap, your favorite. You normally hadn’t drank hard cider but thanks to your tasteful lover, your taste changed. You drank your beer and watched the people go up on the small stage set up for the Friday night karaoke. You watched them go up on the stage, foregoing any shame and having fun. You bopped your head along with them to the music and laughed to yourself, knowing you would be doing the exact same thing later that night. You turned back around and ordered another glass, when the empty stool next to you suddenly got an occupant. Looking out of the corner of your eye, you smirked recognizing the shirt.  

“You’re early.” you audibly told him and turned your body so you were facing him, drink in hand.  

“Could say the same for you darling.” John turned to face you. “But don’t you look nice. I like seeing you in my clothes.” he commented and your lips curled higher in a smirk. 

“Yeah? Thought the shirt pulled the entire outfit together.” you took a sip from your drink and winked. “You look good too, the shirt is also nice.” you told him and bit your lip, eyeing him and down, your eyes lingering too long on his exposed chest, appreciating that the button down he was wearing had the first few buttons undone, with some of his chest hair peeking out. You bit your bottom lip harder, enjoying your view. You heard John chuckle from next to you and he moved closer to you, throwing his arm over your shoulder. 

“So little darling, what’s the plan for tonight?” he asked you curiously as his thumb caressed your opposite arm ever so gently.  

“Mmm, thought we could have some fun here.” you told him, leaning into his embrace.  

“With you, I always have fun, but the fun I want to have with you isn’t exactly appropriate for this setting.” he whispered against your ear, his breath hot against your skin, the heat going directly down to your core. A slight gasp escaped your lips, and John laughed and kissed your ear. “Already so eager, don’t worry dear...it’ll come.” he confirmed and you nodded and stood up, clearing your throat. 

“Well I should go write us in if we want to sing! Do you have a song?” you asked in a hurry before you forgot about the entire night and dragged John to your place.

 “Sure do, been working on it all week. Think you’ll enjoy it.” he winked, obviously proud of what he has in store. You giggled as you grabbed the clipboard and wrote down your names in the time slots. 

“Oh so you found something from your time?’ you inquired as you put the schedule back, and sat back down next to John on the bar stool. 

“Yeah I found a song, it fits this situation perfectly. And watch your mouth little one, or else.” he warned as he put his hand on your bare knee. 

You hummed happily, testing the waters and played with his patience. “Or else what? You’ll spank me?” you batted your eyes, silently praying the answer was yes. John just smirked with lust filling his eyes, and you giggled.

You had signed John’s name for the 8:30 time slot, and yours for the 9:00 slot. To pass the time, you two fell into a casual conversation at the bar as you drank, catching each other up on what’s been going on with your lives. If you don’t see each other you’ll almost always talk on the telephone, but you still talked, and his hand was moving up your thigh with every moment. He leaned into your side again, grabbing your ear between his teeth softly, but just enough to make you squirm and bite the inside of your cheek to suppress a moan. “Yanno, we still have some time before I go up...” he started as he pet your thigh, the top of the bar and drunk people to the side of you masking his movement. “And I noticed an empty closet near the exit, shall we go for a pre-show warm up?” he suggested as he kissed behind your ear and that moan you were so desperately trying to keep inside escaped as he placed his lips there. Every time he put his lips behind your ear, you could feel the dampness between your legs intensify. To avoid any near future distractions, you turned your head and kissed him softly on his lips.

“Calm down Deaky you’re not getting into my pants that easily.” you told him as you kissed him again and you stood up and began to walk away.

“Where on Earth are you going?” he growled, clearly annoyed at him not having his way with you.

“Getting a better spot near the stage, won’t be able to see you clearly if I’m all the way back here.” you tossed your hair and began walking towards the stage, swaying your hips as you moved along, feeling John’s eyes on you the entire time. He got up to follow you, but groaned as he heard the host announce he was up next.  

You turned around and smiled lovingly at him, catching him before he went up. “Good luck baby, you’ll do great.” you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him proudly. He wrapped his arms around your waist and gave your bum a squeeze as he kissed you back. You released him and you watched him go up on stage and you smiled wide. He told the DJ his song choice. Then the host introduced him and he took the microphone. He smiled as the audience watched him, clearly he was used to the crowds.

“Uh hello, good evening! Just wanted to dedicate this song to a special little lady in the audience.” he said as he shot you a wink, and a blush began to form on your cheeks. You were positive you were redder than a tomato, but you allowed it. Your eyes were glued to John on the stage, and he smirked at you and waved to the DJ, indicating to start the song.  

You watched as the first notes started. You didn’t recognize the song immediately, but it sounded familiar, like you’ve heard it on album or in a movie. As the song got going, John held up the microphone and started singing with a pleasant voice.  

“You’re so hot, teasing me, so you’re blue but I can’t take a chance on a chick like you.” he started singing along, and your eyes went wide with surprise. You then started to recognize the song, and your jaw dropped. John closed his eyes getting into the song, clearly being very familiar with ABBA.

The chorus came up and he smirked right at you with a look of mischief in his eye. “Well I can dance with ya honey, if you think it’s funny, does your mother know that you’re out?” your jaw clenched and you narrowed your eyes, trying to pinpoint what game John was playing. “And I can chat with you baby, flirt a little maybe, does your mother know that you’re out?” Oh, he has done more than talk and flirt with you, and that is a fact.  

You kept watching, trying to figure out John’s angle. He liked playing games with you, and this one he wanted to obviously wanted to win. So, while he finished singing, you moved your hips along to the song, in hopes of distracting him a bit. He noticed and raised his eyebrows but kept going, doing his signature dances across the stage.  

“I can see what you want, but you seem pretty young to be searching for that kind of fun, so maybe I’m not the one.” he sang and kept bopping around the stage. Oh would you remember these lyrics next time you two have sex, if this song was just a tease and not actually him breaking up with you.  

“Now you’re so cute, I like your style, and I know what you mean when you give me a flash of that smile, but girl you’re only a child.” he sang and looked directly at you again, sending you another wink your way and licked his lips slightly, which was his indicator that he had the upper hand and this was indeed a game to him and nothing more serious.  

As you watched him finish the song, you quickly re-routed your song choice. You had originally planned on singing “Teenage Dream” by Katy Perry because whenever you heard it you always thought about how John made you feel, and how you were always at it like horny teenagers, but after this, you needed a new plan, a whole new tactic. You weren’t going to get mad, but get even. He wanted to make you mad and slightly embarrass you here for seemingly angry sex (which you weren’t opposed to at all), but you could do him one better. You clapped for him and curled your lips up, forming a playful grin as you wracked your brain for the perfect song. You watched as the DJ and Host complimented him on his performance. As you made your way over to the side stage, you saw two women who weren’t too much older than you waiting for him. You laughed to yourself and watched from a distance, enjoying what’s going to happen and you were going to soak it up.  

John walked off the stage and were met with the two women who were trying to flirt with him and buy him drinks. One woman was batting her eyelashes heavily at him and tossing her hair in his direction. As she was talking with him, she kept leaning into him, trying to work her way into his embrace. He was talking normally to her and she giggled at everything he was saying, eating up his attention. You were at the bar, sipping on another hard cider watching this entire situation and soaking it all up. You weren’t jealous and you didn’t get jealous easily, and based on the unamused and slightly annoyed look on John’s face, you had no reason. You also secretly enjoyed him getting treated like the rockstar he is, it warmed your heart for him to get this attention. You turned towards the bartender and the empty bar seat next to you suddenly had company. Only this time, it wasn’t John sitting next to you, but a guy who was closer to your age, one you had seen in the audience.  

“You know, a lovely lady wearing a vintage Bowie t-shirt definitely needs some company.” the man commented and you raised your eyebrows in shock in boldness.  

“Oh yeah? Know where I can find some?” you challenged.

“I’ve been told I’m good company, and you do seem pretty lonely...I’m Ryan.” the strawberry blonde haired man introduced himself and leaned further into you, instantly putting his hand over yours. You quickly removed your hand but smiled wide and giggled.  

As you opened your mouth to introduce yourself, you heard a voice answer from behind you. “I’m John and she’s not lonely, she has me.” John came over and stood behind you, putting his hands on your shoulders. Ryan scoffed and rolled his eyes, seeming not to care but wasn’t willing to fight it either. You sensed John smirk and he pulled you off the stool leading you to a quiet corner. “So what did you think of the song?” his tone was laced with mischief and lust.

You hummed and nodded at him. “Very cute, quite interesting as well. Was there a hidden message in there I should’ve picked up on that you would like to share?” you quizzed as he wrapped his arms around your waist, nuzzling his face into your pony.  

“Mm nope, just thought I would poke some fun of our interesting relationship.” he explained and you laughed, thinking it was funny but also insanely cute.  

“Well darling, just so you know, you’re pitting fire against fire and I intended on creating a storm.” your purred as you reached to kiss his cheek flirtatiously, but he laughed lowly.  

“And what do you have in mind little one? What’s going on in that beautiful brain of yours?” he raised his eyebrow and you just winked and sealed your lips together, not giving anything away. John clearly didn’t like that answer, because he checked his watch for the time and then pulled you down a hallway near the exit. You laughed as you followed him unknowingly of what he had in mind, but trusted him nevertheless. 

He found the room he was looking for, and opened the door fast and pushed you in gently, and followed you in, locking the door.  You felt for a light switch and flicked it on. 

“John what are we doing in a storage closet?” you wondered as you looked into his eyes, which were shadowed with lust. Instead of answering, he pushed you against the door, kissing you passionately, his mouth dominating yours, his tongue pushing past your lips and completely taking control off your mouth.  

“Since you won’t tell me of this plan of yours.” he started as he kissed you again. “I’ll give you a pre-show warm up. We have time.” he finished as he latched his mouth onto your neck. You leaned your head back to give him better access, and a moan escaped your throat, passing your lips loudly. You heard John sigh happily as he began leaving kisses on your jaw and down throat, and he held you with his hand firmly on your hip.  “Take your shorts and panties off now.” he demanded simply and you hurriedly unbuttoned your shorts and let them and your panties drop to the floor. To better position yourself, you stepped out of both and kicked them off to the side and wrapped a leg around John’s waist. He watched you do so snaking one arm around your waist to keep you up, and groaned in excitement as he trailed his other hand down from your hip to the top of your thigh, and slowly made his way to the inside of your thigh. 

“My darling, do you know how much I’ve missed you?” he asked as he lightly moved his index finger up and down your inner thigh, feathering your skin just enough to tease you. The feeling of neediness for him to touch you more was coming on, and you bit your lip and shook your head in response to his question. He laughed and moved his hand closer to your core, and you gasped lightly as he did. “Of course you don’t no. Guess I will just have to show you.” he trailed on with his mouth still attached to your neck, his hot breath laying against your skin, which made you weaker the more he talked. 

He slowly but expertly skimmed his finger between your folds, and you whined at the slow pace. He breathed against your neck, teasing you with 2 fingers rubbing your clit achingly slow. “So wet for me already? Pet you are absolutely dripping for me, aren’t you an eager little thing.” he looked at you and your lips parted, moaning as your response to his question, nodding your head not finding the proper words to tell him how badly you needed him.  

He took that a cue to go further and he slowly slid his index finger and middle finger inside you, curling them as he went. You let out a load, broken moan and grasped his shoulder, as he increased his speed, pumping his 2 fingers in and out of you as his thumb gave your clit some much needed attention.  “Oh you like that pet? Like my fingers curling inside you?” he growled against your ear as he moved his index finger in a ‘come-here motion’ in you. You moaned louder as he then began kissing behind your ear, and you could feel familiar sensation in the pit of your stomach returning, indicating you were close to your release. “You missed getting off on my fingers? Hmm?” he hummed into your ear, increasing his speed. “Missed the way they made that pretty little pussy feel baby?”

 “J-John...” you muttered through shaky pants, throwing your head onto his shoulder. He then snaked his other hand from your waist, and let it travel up your shirt, grabbing your right breast as he kept up his pace. 

“You like that princess? Getting finger fucked in a storage closet, knowing anyone outside can hear your desperate moans? Come on, let them know how good you feel.” He growled as you let out a high whimper, knowing you were close, the feeling deep in your stomach coming out.  “You close little darling? You going to come all over my fingers? You want my fingers in your mouth and you want to taste yourself dirty girl?” he panted himself heavily against your neck and then kissed your throat so deeply it was sure to leave a mark, which you didn’t mind.  

“Y-yes...” you barely got out of your mouth, as your grasped onto his arm, throwing your head back. 

“Yes what angel? I need to hear you say it.” He told you as he slid in a third finger just enough to make you gasp with pleasure.

“Yes I want your fingers in my mouth! Oh fuck!” You practically screamed as you threw your head back, holding onto anything within your grasp. You were so close to your release, as John sped up his hand movements. Just as you felt your walls clench around him and you were sure you were going to burst at the seams, you heard the host make an announcement.  

“And now it’s time for our 9:00 performance!” he began and your eyes went wide, knowing that was you. You turned your head towards John and he was smirking widely at you as he swiftly removed his fingers from you, and you whined at the loss.  

“Come on my dear, you have a show to put on.” he teased as he dropped your leg, and you groaned at the denial of your orgasm. You bent down to grab your panties and shorts until you felt John grab your wrist as you picked you picked your panties up.  

“No I think I’ll keep these.” he stated and picked up the lacy red garment and put it in his pocket.  

You stared at him with an open mouth. “A-are you serious?” you stuttered in a state of shock and arousal.  

“Oh I’m very serious, I want the pleasure of watching you up there knowing I have the one thing that would conceal how you’re currently feeling about me, which by the lightness of your shorts, won’t be long.” he winked as he kissed your cheek as you buttoned your shorts. He escorted you out as you fixed your ponytail and adjusted your shorts, being painfully conscious of their positioning now.  

You scurried back into the bar and walked up on the stage as the host introduced you. You winked at John in the audience and told the DJ your song choice. He nodded eagerly in excitement and you bit the inside of your cheek to keep from giggling. The host handed you the microphone and you beamed.  

“Good evening, this song was a last minute switch but I’m positive the message will come across...quite nicely.” you emphasized into the mic, not taking your eyes off John.  

You took a few steps back and motioned for the DJ to start the song and raised an eyebrow excitedly at John. The music started and you brought the mic to your lips.  

“Oh baby baby...oh baby baby.” you began to sing in a high voice, as soon as you did, a few men began to cheer recognizing the song. Your man, however, remained unaffected as he didn’t recognize it yet. You decided to use that to your advantage, as you kept looking at him as you raised an eyebrow and continued singing.  

“Show me, how you want it to be, tell me baby cause I need to know now oh because.” you sang and closed your eyes, moving your hips to the music.  

“My loneliness is killing me, and I, I must confess I still believe. When I’m not with you I lose my mind, give me a sign.” you opened your eyes but your pupils were blown with lust. The man Ryan from earlier was in the front, whistling as you sang, and to throw John off his game and in an attempt to get back at him, threw Ryan a wink.  

“Hit me baby one more time!” you sang and swayed your hips, you turned your head in John’s direction, only to see him clenching his jaw with a wickedly sexy glint in his eye, a look you knew all too well.  You decided to test the waters a bit, and you brought your index finger up, curling it indicating for him to come to you. 

He obliged, albeit slowly, but he got to you before the next verse, and you crouched down on the stage, in front of him. 

“Oh baby baby, the reason I breathe is you, boy you got me blinded. Oh pretty baby, there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do.” you sang directly to him, moving closer to him, and you took your bottom lip directly between your teeth. You saw him glare at you with dilated pupils, indicating your mission of making him mad and turning him on was more than working.  

You got closer to him and you put his hand on your hip as you shimmied them as you sang. “Show me, how you want it to be, tell me baby cause I need to know now oh because.” you sang a bit more whiny because you knew how he reacted when you sounded whiny, as you got to your feet again and danced around more on stage and finished the song, never taking your eyes off John. 

Once you finished, the audience roared into applause, and you smiled, drinking it in because once John got a hold of you, you would be screaming. You walked off the stage and scanned the room for your pepper haired lover. When you didn’t see him, you turned around and ran right into the man of the hour. You looked up and giggled and took a deep breath, greeting him.  

“Hello there little minx.” he whispered in a sultry tone that sent heat down to your neglected core. “Are you ready to leave or should I expect another surprise here?” he asked, grabbing your wrist softly. 

 “Mm, nope.” you popped the p in the word “We’re free to leave. Isn’t your place too far?” you questioned as you walked out with him. 

 “It is, and that’s precisely why we’re going to your place.” he told you as you got in his car.  

“But my roommate will be home after 11.” you explained. 

“Oh darling at this point I don’t care who will bloody be home. I want to fuck you so good the only thing you’ll be singing is my name.” he explained as he drove to your place. Hearing that made you cross your legs in anticipation, and in hopes of concealing the wetness that began again.  

Once you reached your place, you hurriedly got out of the car and unlocked your door, rushing inside. You sent up a silent prayer that Kate, your flat mate, still wasn’t home. John made his way inside, and once you were both in, you quickly rid of your shoes.

  “Go in the bedroom and lay on the bed. I will be there in a moment.” he commanded simply but you were too eager to tease him, so you did as instructed. You scurried into your room and sat on your bed, waiting for him to come in. You had absolutely no idea what he had in mind, but your breathing spiked thinking about it. John walked in and you sat facing him. He hadn’t said a word the entire car ride and you were needy of his touch. 

 “That was some show you put on back there...trying to turn me on in public. Was that your intention, to get me so turned on in front of everyone I take you right there? To beg you to let me fuck you?” he asked lowly but you looked at him smirking. 

 “Not at first no, but since you mentioned it...” you batted your eyes and giggled sweetly. John sat down next to you and titled your chin up at him. 

 “I don’t beg princess, but we do have some..” he started as he dragged his finger down your throat and down your chest until he rested it on your hip. “unfinished business to attend to.” he finished and began rubbing circles in your hip gently. You leaned into him, desperate to kiss him, to touch him. You lingered above his lips for a moment, before pressing yours to his, kissing him desperately, hungrily, showing how badly you needed him.  

He kissed you back with just as much passion and he guided you down onto your back, and he leaned over you but wasn’t fully laying down.

  “I-I need you...” you muttered against his lips as you wrapped your arms around his neck. He smirked and pet your cheek softly. 

 “I know angel, but we need to take care of what you almost had earlier first.” John said as he swiftly unbuttoned your shorts and pulled them off. You groaned as he kissed your jaw and brought his hands back to your hips. 

 “Need...you to touch me.” you whined again as you tilted your head up and reached for his hand. He quickly took yours and lifted it up. 

 “No no darling...focus on me.” he told you as he kissed your neck again, and you moaned in response. “Listen to my words.” he breathed against your neck, and you nodded. “Now use yours, no nodding.”

 “O-okay...” you panted and closed your eyes. “I’ll listen.”

 “Good, you did so good tonight. Made me a bit jealous...but you looked so good doing it though. You pretty little thing.” John started as he went back to kiss your throat, letting his index finger travel south and ever so lightly stroke your thighs, not fully touching you but giving you enough feeling that you could feel that familiar feeling between your legs. You whimpered at the slightest touches, desperate to be touched but also the unresolved feeling of him leaving you unfinished was also heightening your need. “And the way you made me feel watching you? Knowing I had your adorable little panties in my pocket while you shook your little ass for me like that? I wanted to pull you off the stage and ravish you back in the closet, and I wanted everyone to hear you.” he whispered directly in your ear and kissed your earlobe softly, letting his lips linger over it for a second, his hot breath hitting you. 

“Watching you work that stage made me so.” he kissed your cheek while moving his index finger into your inner thigh. “turned.” he kissed your jaw. “on.” he finished and kissed your ear again and he spread your legs. “I wanted, no- needed to fuck you right then.” he emphasized as he took his finger and dragged it across your stomach, and you could feel yourself falling apart. 

 “But, then, other guys were cheering for you, for what’s mine.” he barked lightly but not mean, and he kissed behind your left ear with a grasp on your hips, holding them down as you bucked them up. He kissed down your neck and ended at your collarbone. You shuddered in response, not knowing how much longer you could handle. You were completely coming undone and he barely touched you, you were never this unhinged, but with an already denied orgasm, John’s hot breath on your exposed skin mixed with his ever poetic words and high adrenaline, you were ready to lose yourself at any moment. 

 “You’re mine.” John calmly told you against your collarbone, which he began to suck on slowly. He nipped at the skin and you grasped his upper arm. “Only mine. You’re close...let go and let the world know who’s you are.” he kissed your lips finally as he stroked your inner thigh again, close to where you needed him the most and that was all the touch you needed to find your release and cried out his name as you became undone because of him. You panted, taking a moment to catch your breath as John sat up. You watched and joined him. 

 “You’re amazing...” you told him as you kissed the corner of his mouth and he smiled.  

“You think so?” he teased and you giggled, cupping his face and kissing him passionately. You loved how he could go from so dominating and collected and sexy to sweet, loving and caring. It’s one of the many things you loved about him. 

 “Yes I do, and I love you and only you, and I want nobody else.” you explained as you kissed his neck and unbuttoned his shirt slowly. “And now I’m gonna show you how much.” you pushed his shirt off as you kissed him again and he wasted no time taking over undressing himself. Once he was finished, he laid back and you took your own shirt off and kissed him softly again, getting yourself situated hovering over him. 

 You grabbed his now hardened length and lined it up with your entrance. You took your bottom lip between your teeth and raised your eyebrows at him. John nodded his head and you slowly lowered yourself onto him, groaning with pleasure as you adjusted around him. You adjusted to him around you, and you slowly moved your hips forward, finding your pace and gaining friction. As you started to speed up, you felt John grasp your hips hard enough you were sure a bruise would be left, but knowing you were making him feel good encouraged you to move harder and faster. You leaned forward and kissed his lips hard as you grinded forwards against him, pressing your hands onto his chest, moving around so his cock in you hit both of you in just the right places.  

“I’m going to make you unravel John Deacon.” you muttered against his lips as you rocked your hips hard against his, and he moaned loudly as he put a hand behind your head bringing your forehead to his. He bucked his hips up, matching his movements with yours, and that made you speed up your previously slowed movements. 

 “Knowing you’re how well you’re using my cock for your own pleasure in itself will make me come apart, but you’re doing so well princess...been thinking about it since I left. How you use my cock for your own satisfaction...you naughty girl” he muttered and kissed you again, once again having his tongue invade your mouth, taking dominance. He spanked your ass once, which made you yelp but it made you sit up and arch your back, grasping John’s arm. That one slap turned you on so bad that you bucked your hips forward, trying to gain more friction as you felt your orgasm approaching.  Your movements started to become sloppy and rushed, as you were nearing your release.  

“Angel, I don’t know how much longer I’ll last...” John panted as he rolled his eyes back into his head, and with one final buck of your hips forwards, found the spot in you that so desperately needed to be hit, and that caused your walls to clench around him. As his name escaped your lips, sounding almost like a prayer being sent up to the heavens, you fell forward onto John’s chest panting, as your orgasm took over you. He held you close to him as you felt himself lose himself in you, and he too sang your name loudly as he filled you up, and it was the sweetest sound you ever heard. 

 As you laid on top of him, your head rested on his chest, you felt him gently stroke your back. He kissed the top of your head and whispered gently. “You’re honestly amazing sweet girl...” he started as he took your messed up ponytail out, running his fingers through your hair. You lifted your head up and rested your chin on his chest and shot him up a toothy grin. “Not just right now, even though that was amazing, but all of the time. Earlier as well, it was nice seeing you have so much fun, I had so much fun with you. Being with you, makes me feel whole. You’re like a breath of fresh air.”  

You blushed and moved yourself up, petting his cheek as you kissed him sweetly. “I had a lot of fun...I always have fun with you...I enjoy being with you. I enjoy us” you confessed and John nodded, a blush creeping up his neck as well. You looked into his eyes and kissed his lips again, and then chuckled against him. “Hey, you were great as well tonight, and to answer your question, no my mother does not know I’m out.” you laughed loudly as you smirked, raising your eyebrows high, and he laughed as well, rolling over so he could bring you close in his arms, holding you close. At that moment, there was no place you would rather be.